#introspection is sorely lacking

[porcelaintoybox23]

I wonder if Viv made Stella so idiotically shallow to be a hatesink for the fandom's misogyny. The way many of you talk about her...

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism: I can fix him (no really I can)

G/N. Gun, DG, Sammy, Jakey, Ryuhei, Goo, Vin

You didn't roll up your sleeves, ready to fix the men that came into your life. As if you were some amber or red flag magnet, and you had ample time and energy and patience to sort out their issues. Somehow though, it happened anyway. Slowly. Little by little.

With yourself more of a dubious observer more than anything.

Only a fool would invite someone like Gun into their life and not expect troubles. The pitch black eyes are already an obvious omen.

Except. Gun has second thoughts around you. Peaks of humanity showing through his cracks. Fun for Gun used to be fights and bloodshed. Letting his demons out fully. He can never be completely tamed but he realises there's joy, a bone-deep peace, in other things too.

Namely, your company.

James plays his cards to his chest. As James Lee, as Diego Kang, as whoever he may be in the future.

Hides his intention and true character with a detached, arrogant smile. Buries into himself further with his shiny k-pop persona, not letting anyone see his authentic self.

Your touch first cracked his well polished veneer. Your words and keen eyes, astute and observant, blew the gap wide open.

He realises there's no more hiding with you.

Samuel doesn't lack motivation or discipline with most areas of his life. When it comes to his mental health though, it's sorely lacking. Though, delusional and lacking introspection, he never realised it was a problem until you.

He notices your smile dimming during the beginning of his spirals. Feels your absences as he plummets to rock bottom. Craves you with every part of his being as he soars into mania.

Your worried looks and trembling bottom lip gives him the final push he needs to want to improve.

Being Gapryong's son is a part of who Jake is, irrefutable and undeniable. As much as he likes to convince himself he is nothing like his dad, he has fortunately taken all his best traits and foregone the worst.

However. It takes someone like you to come along, that loves all the parts of him-

(Son of the legend of the Pre-generation, the Boss of Big Deal... And the quietest part, the part of him dimmed and muted through the challenges of life, simply Jake Kim, where he can be as he wants to be.)

-For him to finally accept all parts of himself too.

When Ryuhei crushes, falls, obsesses, he finds it hard to fit the whole image of someone in his head.

All their imperfections and flaws and faults are non-existent in his mind. Which sounds harmless and sweet at first thought, but he could never truly connect with anyone if he is only able to see his own perception of them.

But then you showed him all sides of you, forced him to acknowledge the good with the bad, experience the troughs with the peaks.

Until, over time, he fully sees every facet of you.

Being with Goo is like trying to domesticate a wild animal.

He has glimpses of docility assuming he is well fed and well entertained, though he is still likely to bite the hand that feeds at any moment. Of course, only someone used to getting his way would continue being this... deranged.

You take no prisoners. Uncompromising in the way you should be treated, respected, until Goo has no choice but to also fall in line if he wants to keep you by his side.

Vin keeps himself barbed and prickly. Masks his true feelings, his own insecurities, with jokes and insults. Has made more people cry than he can remember and ignores any guilt with a shrug of his shoulders.

He's not a sociopath. It's just that he's been this way for so long he doesn't know how to be anything else.

You cut through the bullshit, give him no judgement for who he is, how he looks, but how he acts.

His jokes are still rude. Insults still mean. But there's no longer any cruelty.

[theomnicode]

Saitama and depression; how OPM explores mental health

(TW: Depression, Suicide)

Many readers have more than likely noticed that Saitama seems like a pretty depressed individual, however it is never directly stated besides the above Saitama introspection where he acknowledges it and promptly puts it out of his mind.

This topic came to my mind after seeing this particular video about 8 oddly specific symptoms of depression by Dr. Scott Eilers that are not often talked about. We're going to talk about them and then some. Take note that I'm not a doctor or mental health specialist, I'm just writing meta so that's my disclaimer. :p

We'll start from the beginning and with the heaviest topic of em all related to depression and see how One Punch Man explores this particular mental health issue and move on from there.

Warning, long post ahead.

The most obvious sign of major depression is well, suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation that Saitama exhibits as early as chapter 2. He never denies wanting to die by Crablante's hand.

Saitama also heavily relates to the guy who wanted to jump from rooftop while he was eating sushi and bluntly talks to him to pull himself up his bootstraps essentially as he did on his own, interpreting that sounding fake and sweetalking would not get through to the guy. (Salmon, Vol 7 extra)

Other signs pointing towards depression would be low energy, lack of motivation, self-isolation, hobbies that are low-energy consuming but stimulating like gaming, manga, watching tv and such, all of which Saitama exhibits... but another common depression symptom is Anhedonia.

"A diverse array of deficits in hedonic function, including reduced motivation or ability to experience pleasure, particularly from previously enjoyable activities."

The doctor in the video describes Achievement anesthesia by the inability to feel positive emotions from achievements. Despite Saitama saving plenty people, he only feels a lack of accomplishment and probably frustration from feelings of uselessness. He used to take joy and satisfaction from helping people out in the past (Brushing up, vol2 extra), but the same and even vastly stronger merits now only serve to highlight how little he feels about them now.

A great contrast.

What was once a great victory, is now just yet another tuesday for Saitama. (One of my fave panels)

Even worse, he does not get brownie points for being a good, upstanding citizen. He gets no money and rarely appreciation for the good he does and that just accumulates his depression when his neighborhood emptied. And with his power, he also gets to clean up the mess because he has the power and it's the right thing to do, be it from picking up litter to saving little kids from getting kidnapped (What can't Be Bought, Vol 5 Extra). But such also breeds jealousy when everyone else reap the rewards, reap the fame and the fans and the good reputation.

The stress of trying to be a good person with moral integrity in a bad world is a heavy load, which can lead to depression, lack of motivation and things like compassion fatigue. The more he tries to find something worthy of doing, the more he invests in it, the more he keeps getting disappointed by the lackluster feeling and reception he gets.

Saitama beats himself up for moral failures, which is a contributing factor for his depression, such as when he was in the tournament and monsters were running amok, despite not having no prior knowledge of monsters around the area. The complete lack of explicit improvement on things he wants to do however, is the most sore point. He didn't learn a thing in the tournament and just felt like he was wasting time, conditioning him to think that self-improvement is just a waste of time on itself because he won't learn anything anyway.

Being good at something naturally makes one feel better about themselves and Saitama's low self-esteem and for instance, lack of skill in gaming, creates friction and Angry perfectionism. One especially doesn't want their few fun hobbies to feel like hollow endeavours. Being competitive, one would want to git gud and accomplish growth and getting constantly trashed by one finger keeps driving it home that Saitama is not actually good at this thing either, something that he wants to enjoy doing. Saitama also constantly projects his bad mood and this insecurity by trying to trash talk King, without much success. King is such a good friend though that fortunately the does not seem to mind Saitama getting pissed at being a sore loser. True pro gamer bro.

Lets pray Saitama never finds that mmorpg's have hardcore raids, he would never be able to leave the house again. 😂

-*-

Which brings us to the last point in the video, Addiction to emotion-creating activities.

If Saitama was any less strong willed and less restrained and if he actually had money to spare, he would 100% develop a gambling addiction. Keep this man far, far away from social media too.

However, as soon as something...or someone...breaks through that fugue and creates actual emotion, one can develop an addiction to the thing because our brains want/need that dopamine fix.

Genos just so happened to barge into his very lonely life life and became that someone to create that emotional connection with and Genos provides too when he's taken over cleaning and majority of the cooking and even finances, something that people with depression struggle to accomplish. When Saitama cooks, it's usually not very difficult dish to prepare either, chop ingredients and toss them into the pan. Saitama also loves food and needs money to feel like he's financially secure, being unemployed, and has little social contacts, so it's like triple-dipping in the dopamine sauce. Nomnom, feelsgoodman.

It's all well and good until shit gets real and your main source of feel-good emotional connection just dies. Oh and it's your fault too cuz you played around. Good job Saitama. That's a deadly amount of guilt and a PTSD as a cherry on top.

Genos' continued existence is essentially applying bandaid to a bleeding head wound that's Saitama's mental health issues.

Ultimately, I do wonder if ripping off the bandaid is why Saitama wants to get back his private space away from Genos, because he subconsciously understands it's not very healthy to be so emotionally dependant and Genos is just as obsessed about him. The allure of social contact and benefits are great, but so too are the detrimental effects, among them complete lack of privacy which is a nightmare for a private introvert like Saitama.

(Yes yes, it's still pretty dang funny, but it's still invasion of privacy)

-*-

Last example of Saitama's depression I want to touch, thanks to @gofancyninjaworld for the input, is Saitama's forgetfulness, a memory disruption if you will.

"Depressed individuals typically show poor memory for positive events, potentiated memory for negative events, and impaired recollection."

It is a running joke that Saitama has difficulty recalling names, which may be entirely normal because he does not really care to remember names for people he's improbable to meet later and emotional connection and repetition helps us memorize things better (such as Genos having to repeat his name upon introduction), however Saitama has also showcased potentially impaired recollection for events that happened just moments prior.

(Again, a great contrast. Show, don't tell, where one shows obvious signs of depression and another...not so obvious, in the same panel, in a humorous way to boot. Masterful way of tackling heavy topics, in my humble opinion.)

Genos worries for his memory in the Majin drama cd 1 and often tries to accomodate for his lapses of memory too, be it long ultimate attack name phrase, marking special sales or whatnot. Saitama forgetting to take out trash and forgetting names is normal, but it may be exacerbated by his depression.

The more telling part is probably the fact that even when his memory is jogged, he still does not remember Flash's name. It's like he never registered the name in the first place, maybe he did not bother because he thought it wasn't important but it does not appear he's trolling here and legitimately does not remember. Though he does remember the nickname he gave for Flash instead, which is funny. He made it up on the spot and it's hilarious, so it stuck.

The less emotional connection one has to things, the less likely we are to remember those things, such as the monsters Saitama kills are blurred together because he feels no self-satisfaction from killing said monsters and protecting people.

In the sense that memory block can also be a trauma response, ONE makes Saitama's complete lack of recall of the ominous future a running joke in classic ONE fashion. It's either that or time shenanigans. Or both, both is good.

Last but not least, Saitama also shows that he recalls little to no appreciation from helping people, despite the rare occasion where he receives gratitude from directly intervening and he definitely remembers the more negative events better, such as when he complained about going unnoticed and not having fans. (Hobby and work, cpt 15). He can recite the story to Genos when asked but there does not seem to be instance where he mentions such without prompted.

All is not lost in the memory department however, since Saitama shows a potential memory recall improvement in the recent retconnect chapter Tenninto where he recognises the martial art dudes from the tournament he was in. It might be nothing, as it was retconned too but ONE is definitely keeping it in mind.

It is quite fitting thought that the video talks about how "normal people look like superheroes" because they have the energy and motivation to do daily tasks and OPM is a superhero manga about a person who's the strongest hero but he barely considers himself a hero. ONE has also said in an interview that just living a "normal life" is hard and OPM definitely reflects that sentiment.

-*-

Saitama is slowly getting there though. He seems happier, more confident, more outgoing and a larger array of emotional displays, to the point that some people in the fandom have voiced their complaints about the apathetic hero apparently smiling too often. To that I say, character progression is a thing and a good thing at that.

Saitama even has better gait when he used to slouch and drag his feet that bespeaks of his increasing self-confidence. Less self-doubts + more confidence = more gains.

He was also able to calm down despite losing heavily to King in a fighting game and still feeling very irritated after the fact, but offered his blunt advice to lift weights anyway, which would indicate better emotional regulation. His attention span has also seemingly improved, despite the Knight yapping away for an entire panel. (Worlds I know nothing about, cpt 193). Then even when the entire thing of releasing an epic monster was just as boring monster encounter as the rest of them, he seemingly took it as a learning experience of expanding his world-view instead of complaining his utter boredom. He also recalls the tiny tidbit about Flash's utter lack of finding his way in the underground maze and remembers Blast, his name and thanks him for getting them out of the underground hole.

(Mathing is hard though but this may also be a 4th wall breaking meme because we've never seen Saitama defeat sonic 14 times on screen. Are we being gaslit? lmao)

-*-

Closing thoughts, we've not seen the last of Saitama's mental health journey, far from it. Nor have we adressed that legitimate concern of PTSD in the background and I'm sure it will pop up at some point or another...too much of an opportunity for ONE to just ignore in this master thesis of a manga about issues he feels are important.

Anyways, thank you all for reading this far, it's been a while. :D

[missmeinyourbones]

Hiiiii L!!! Congrats on ur milestone bby!! It was so hard to choose a prompt I was stuck on so many of them but I’d love to see ur take on the prompt “weird, but fucking beautiful” with Touya<333

WEIRD, BUT FUCKING BEAUTIFUL (t. todoroki)

a/n: bad communicator dabi, reader has a birthmark, descriptions of skin and scarring (???) angsty undertones but ultimately very soft (like dabi), i love u oz

L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!

There's a lot that Dabi can't say.

He thinks his lack of verbal charisma was wired into his brain and decided by the stars above from the very moment he was born into this world.

It's not for a lack of feeling, he likes to justify. In his head, Dabi has said what he would deem to be Shakespearean things about how much he loves you—but when it comes time to turn those thoughts into syllables from his lips, they never sound nearly as nice.

Something Dabi is good at, he likes to think, is admiring you. It comes natrually, he doesnt need to think about it.

He loves learning about your body, finding out new things about your skin and shape and self. Enjoys learning how you like to be touched, how you like to be loved without the words he can't really say. He thinks that must be how people in love feel, a bit foolish but willing to sit in silence just to catch a glimpse of something worth while.

Having crawled out of bed and whined about your soreness from last night, you search the room for your discarded jeans. And Dabi does what he does best and watches you.

He appreciates how your skin stretches and bounces when you bend down to grab your pants. How it pudges by your hips and tummy when you shimmy into your jeans and fasten your zipper. He likes how your arms flex and arch as you button your bra around your torso—and he loves how your tiny little birthmark on your back contorts with the normalcy of it all.

It's moments like these, horribly mundane and, for a lack of a better word, boring, that make Dabi realize just how lost in you he actually is. The way you exist, ridiculously regular and undeniably human, makes him want to cry, sometimes. He doesn't think you realize how special that is, to be normal.

Your irritated tone interrupts (what you don't know to be) his sweet introspection.

"Would you stop that?"

You see the smallest twinge of a smile from the corner of his mouth when he plays along.

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that," he watches you shrink beneath his heavy gaze.

"Like what?"

You raise your eyebrows at him, in a look that reads nothing but annoyed, and he allows himself to huff out a sound of amusement at how easily aggravated you get sometimes.

"Oh come on, don't be pissy," he teases, but you choose to ignore his taunt and continue getting dressed.

He continues to watch you twist into your shirt, and he's grateful it's sleeveless as it leaves the pretty little imprint beneath your shoulder within his sight. He watches you catch his eye a few times, sees how you grow more irritated with each and every flicker of his stare on your skin.

When you (not so) gently scoot past him to collect your phone from the nightstand, he's quick to wrap his fingers around your wrist and guide you closer to him.

With a scowl on your face, you let him. His hand finds your chin, turning you upward to look at him, pout and all.

"Hey," he whispers with a bit of an edge, one he doesn't mean to have but has accepted as a part of him. When you flicker your eyes over him, he softens his bite a bit, "Talk."

After a sigh or two, your response comes shy, flushed.

"I don't like when you stare at me like that," you whisper against his palm and he can feel the heat of your cheeks flooding with embarrassment.

"Feels like you're making fun of me or something."

"Making fun of you?" his face frowns in genuine confusion. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Not sure if he's fucking with you or not, you take a beat to read his expression. He's serious, for once—you can tell there's no ill will in his furrowed brows and slightly concerned eyes.

Eventually, you deflate and state the obvious, "You're looking at my birthmark."

…Yeah?

"And?" he decides to say instead.

"And I hate it," your voice becomes a bit more strained, "so stop looking at it."

Genuinely confused at the sudden tension between you two, Dabi shrugs and loosens his grip on your jaw, leaving his hand gently ghosting your skin instead of holding you in place.

He sounds a bit critical when he scoffs, "What's there to hate? It's a birthmark."

"It's gross and weirdly shaped and ugly."

And he can't but wince at the pure irony of your words. Because you're always the first person to kiss his scars, trace their growing and scaling patches, and remind him that they're beautiful because they're his.

And here you are, loathing something as measly as a barely noticeable birthmark for the sole reason that it's yours.

He wants to tell you what you tell him, that it's beautiful because it's yours. That he wants to trace it with his tongue and see its outline when he closes his eyes.

But Dabi isn't that poetic, so he settles for shrugging and using his free hand to reach out and touch it.

As his calloused thumb skims the mark, he hums to himself in thought.

"Was thinking about how it's kinda shaped like a mushroom."

He smiles a bit when your eyes roll at his statement. Your skin heats up again when you weakly remind him that, "It's weird."

"Yeah," he merely agrees with a soft nod, "but it doesn't make me want you any less."

Gently, he takes the pad of his thumb and lovingly swipes it across your bottom lip, caressing the skin and attempting to let his touch say what his words can't.

And you know, he knows you know. Because even though Dabi isn't great with words and can't say what he means, what he feels, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. He feels it more deeply than anyone you've ever known.

In the softness of the moment, you cock your head to the side and gently bite down on the length of this thumb. It's unexpected but doesn't hurt, and Dabi knows you well enough to know what it says. Thank you. I love you.

He nearly blushes at the intimacy, mumbling out a sarcastic, "Fuckin' ow."

"Don't be a baby," you choose to gently kiss the spot you sunk your teeth into, "that didn't hurt."

It didn't, he thinks. I liked it.

Again, his tongue betrays him, "You're so weird."

Allowing yourself to lean into his touch, your voice taunts him a bit. "But that doesn't make you want me any less, does it?"

Dabi chooses the easy way out and simply kisses you, and through this tongue gently prodding at your bottom lip, you know his answer.

No, it doesn't.

[youleavethetardisbrakeson]

I can't believe I'm still seeing, "but the Velaryons shouldn't be black because of all their marriages with the Targaryens" discourse.

Shhhhh. Shush. Shut your face. I seriously don't care.

This is a FANTASY show where people ride dragons and fuck their uncles. The "logic" of previous generations' races should be on the BOTTOM of the list of things to worry about. It just doesn't matter in this show; it's a minor footnote at best. Nobody is bringing up Alyssa Velaryon or the Conquerors' mother. Not to mention that this type of argument has been used by explicit racists as an excuse to harass the show's black actors.

The fantasy genre seriously lacks any kind of proper racial diversity, and we should be celebrating that one of the biggest TV franchises decided to add some sorely needed representation into their casting. Are there issues with how they've handled things? Obviously. But it's a damn good start.

I also think it's an objectively brilliant casting decision for translating written word to television. If you had a bunch of pale, silver-haired Velaryons, they would be nearly visually indistinguishable from the Targaryens. That would confuse SO many people. Making the Velaryons black is such a clever way to make the Valyrian families easily recognizable in a visual medium.

Who CARES if it's not logical. All the benefits severely outweigh it. If it's something that's bothering you THAT much, perhaps have an introspective look on WHY that is.

And stop harassing actors of color for DOING THEIR JOBS. They are gd brilliant people and excellent actors and should be appreciated as such.

[scavengerssuccotash]

What does aftercare look like for Clint and Nat?

Depends on what kind of aftercare you’re looking for, my dear.

Was it a rough mission that left their bodies sore and aching?

If that’s the case they soothe each other’s sore muscles away in a variety of ways. For Natasha the bulk of her sore muscles rests in her thighs and legs. Clint with usually draw her a nice hot bath with some soaking salts (lavender scented) and let her decompress. Sometimes he’ll join her, especially if his back is hurting, but most times he just lets her rest in the bath and play errand boy if she needs something. Afterwards, Natasha will curl up with him on the couch with her feet in his lap so he can rub them. And oh god! His hands? If Natasha were religious his hands is the closest thing to making her believe in a god. About the time he works his way up her calves, she’s limp against the arm of the couch and almost asleep.

Clint on the other hand carries most of his stress in his shoulders and arms. (Clint often jokes that if you put the two of them together, her legs and his upper body, they could qualify for a retirement community by the state of their joints alone.) With that said, baths hardly touch the ache in his shoulders. Showers are his go-to, along with icy-hot and Natasha’s own bone melting masseuse skills. Repetition with the draw weight he’s got might’ve given him great definition but it also aged his rotator cuffs and shoulder blade ten years. After a long hot shower, you can find him sitting on the floor between Natasha’s legs with an ice pack on each shoulder as she rubs his neck.

Or are you looking for the tumble between the sheets kind of aftercare?

In which case this came to them with much more difficulty than it did with the other kind. Particularly for Natasha. Any wonder why? The first few times they slide between the sheets, Natasha would jump out of bed, quickly throw on her clothes and leave while Clint just laid in bed still coming down from his post coital high, dazed and ultimately confused. In hindsight, Natasha’s sudden departure after taught Clint a lot about himself. Namely: how much he really did like and need the after romp cuddling. Be it some internalized misogyny, or a lack of self introspection Clint had just assumed that is what you did with your partner, so…he did it and didn’t look into it any deeper than the surface level. Turns out it just took Natasha leaving him high and dry (wet?) for him to realize that, “actually no, I think I like the cuddling!?”

Conversely Natasha dipped because she had wanted to stay, which was in of itself a terrifying epiphany to have after what she’ll testify to is the best sex ever. It was all too much too fast and god she can’t do this?! Can she? She wants to, but…

In the end it took three months, a couple of drunken blurt out your feelings kind of nights, and a close call in Mumbai for them to get on the same page.

For Clint to say, “I need to a place to land after soaring that high, Nat. I drop like a fucking stone, and it’s not a good feeling!”

And for Nat to say, “I don’t know what to do with all this, I wasn’t trained on what to do if I actually fell!”

“No one gets a manual, Tasha. You just do what feels right.”

“Us. That feels right.”

Natasha relaxes into their after sex cuddle sessions a little bit better after this. She still leaves after, only spending the nights when they drink and she doesn’t want to drive or bother with a taxi or public transport, but she stops leaving right away. She lingers long enough for Clint to be on the precipice of sleep, before slipping out of bed. Which is fine by Clint, he’s admittedly a bit of a bed hog.

About a year and two months into their relationship, the aftercare is superb. Clint gets his cuddles, and Natasha, well Natasha gets breakfast in bed now. And sometimes, when Clint’s feeling a bit cheeky he will wake her up in the most delicious of ways.

Thanks for asking, hope you enjoy! 🥰

[johannestevans]

Cold Comfort

Queer fiction. A mob boss takes in a rival’s hostage, and tries to keep him from suicide.

14k, M/M, rated E for equally explicit sex and violence. Set in 1920s New Jersey. Nasty and violent.

Alvis Hunter, boss of a significant crime operation, steals a captive out from under a hostage —Naham,  a rabbi’s son who immediately attempts to kill himself. In the aftermath, Alvis tries to keep him alive; Naham tries to find something worth living for.

Some philosophy and introspection in this one along the way of the rape recovery. Warnings for rape and sexual violence, mental health issues, a crisis of faith, trauma, homophobia, intersexism, antisemitism, and other assorted violence.

---

“Hey, you speak English?” he asks. “Polsku? Italiano? Elliniká? Deutsch?” The boy freezes for a second, still shuddering, still whimpering, but his eyes flit to Alvie’s. “Deutsch, yeah? Sprechen sie Deutsch?” He narrows his eyes at the boy’s expression, wonders how old he is. With how fucking thin he is, all the bruises, his skin has turned sallow from lack of sun, and he’s gaunt, his cheeks hollowed, bags under his eyes, it’s hard to tell. “Redt ir Yidish?”

The boy’s breath hitches in his throat, his eyes widening, his head tipping back just slightly. It’s like he’s forgotten to cry, all the tears thick in his red-rimmed eyes like water in a glass, but not falling down his cheeks just yet.

“Okay,” says Alvie softly. “Okay. Ikh heys Alvis, olrayt? Uh… Fuck. Ikh… nisht keyn Yidish gut. Ikh— Is that right? Redt ir English?”

The boy is staring at him as if Alvie’s some kind of new invention, as if he’s something he can’t quite comprehend. When Rosa and Felix get to the landing, he hears Felix gasp and mutter something under his breath – Rosa tells him to shut the fuck up.

The boy glances at them, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looks between them – and fuck, that must be sore with the fucking shiner he has on him – and then slowly back to Alvie.

“Redt ir English?” he asks again. “Du bist… kholye? Krank? Es iz schmerzlich? Dayne hent?” He holds up his hands, pushing them together like the boy is holding his, forced to hold his, and the boy looks from Alvie to his hands.

“Hant,” he whispers, holding up one of his hands as best he can from where they’re tied together, wiggling his fingers. Then he pushes his wrists together demonstratively, the way that Alvie just was. “Ha’ntgel’enk.” His voice is thick and hoarse from screaming.

“Okay,” Alvie says slowly. “Nisht… uh, nisht dayne hent. Dayne he’ntgel’enk?”

The boy laughs at him. He looks about as surprised to hear it as Alvie does. Laughing has shocked a few tears free, but he looks a little calmer now, slightly more relaxed.

“Ha’ntgel’enkn,” he corrects him, as if Alvis gives a fuck about the proper plural right about now. His lips are still curved in a smile, and the smile must fucking hurt with the way the skin’s been split – his front teeth are all in place, but Alvie can see a gap where one or two teeth have been knocked out on one side.

“Do they fucking hurt, or not?” Alvie asks.

Read on Medium / / Read on Patreon.

[bouncykhotchillipeppers]

New to ATEEZ, but I’ve decided to try an astrological chart reading anyway. Happy to announce that Hongjoong and his chart are wonderfully complicated.

✦ Disclaimer

I do not know him personally, no harm intended, others may interpret differently. I’ve been studying astrology for six years, and I take this seriously and try my best. Feel free to ask any questions you have!

✦ Note

I will not be discussing parents, family, or earlier life to preserve some privacy. This is not a full chart reading, just some highlights I found to be fascinating. He should contact me, I have questions I want answered. 

✦ Overview

Before everything else, so many placements and aspects in his chart scream the need to consistently transform his sense of self—Sun in Scorpio in 9H, Midheaven in Scorpio, Uranus in Aquarius in 1H, Neptune conjunct Ascendant, Mercury conjunct Pluto, Mars in Virgo in 8H. Whoever he was a year ago is not necessarily who he is today. He loves to see how he has improved himself over time because he is obsessed with bettering himself. There’s a battle of dark and light, black and white, trying to remain open-minded while sticking to his instinctual duality. 

Another large portion of his chart is concerned with distrust of authority and the craving of freedom. Sun in 9H, Uranus in 1H, Saturn in Aries—he wants control. It’s a sore spot. But he’s also really good at getting these authority figures to like him? That Venus, man…

This is very much an artist’s chart, and I can’t see him doing anything not involved with creativity. Sun conjunct Venus, Venus conjunct MC, Venus quintile Neptune, Saturn square Neptune, Moon in 5H, Uranus in 1H—all of these are creative and artistic. He needs to put his whole heart into what he loves or he’ll be miserable. Creativity is his emotional outlet.

He’s an intense person. He sort of won the jackpot when it comes to a lot of placements great for idols and creatives in general. 

✦ Neptune conjunct Ascendant in Capricorn (First House)

Ironically, he is whoever you want him to be. Idols and celebrities in general with Neptune aspecting the Ascendant do very well in the limelight because they’re able to adapt themselves to whoever is around them at any given time. One great way to look at it is that Neptune rules over mirrors, so his identity reflects like a mirror whoever he needs to be at that time. Wonderful for actors and idols. Another idol with this aspect is Soyeon from (G)I-DLE, except she’s a Virgo Sun.

His sense of self is fluid. He’s able to read the room and act accordingly without thinking much about it, or perhaps even overthinking it and worrying about it. He’s aware of others’ emotions and “vibes” if you will. Not that he’s necessarily good at handling them (Gemini Moon, Capricorn Neptune), but if someone is upset, he knows it. 

He’s sensitive and emotional…but this is in Capricorn, the great suppressor of everything. Keep that shit on lockdown. All the mutable signs… He is running from that! We’ll get to that in a bit. He’s INFP, right? He doesn’t feel in a “your emotions are my emotions” way (um, Seonghwa Cancer Moon in 12H), his way is very…difficult to quantify, almost sideways or backwards to others. Makes sense to him, though!

Capricorn Neptune quintile Scorpio Midheaven

About a year ago, I went on a deep dive into quintiles and discovered their usefulness—specifically in that they describe an innate talent for something. This is something inherently within the person that they don’t necessarily notice about themself except through thorough introspection. It forms connections and has a deeply human quality to it. It is, at its most basic form, pure joy and creativity, like Leo. With Neptune ruling over everything from deception to transcendence to lack of boundaries to enchantment… Oh, yeah, she’s a mystical planet, but it’s not all terrifying. The way I would interpret it is that he is innately talented in projecting a certain persona to maintain his outward image. Inside could be turmoil, outside looks fine and dandy, or vice versa. Like I said, he is who you want him to be in that moment. Unlike someone with Sun in 12H, he does have a firm sense of his identity. But it is always in flux. Does this make sense? 

✦ Uranus in Aquarius (First House)

Now here is where we start seeing the cravings of freedom and a continuation of the constant shifting of the self. Uranus is the drastic revolutionary of the planets, changing at the drop of a hat, and having it in 1H makes for an eccentric person who doesn’t want to conform to others’ or society’s expectations. Again, contradictions because all that Capricorn Ascendant wants to do is conform. He will do whatever the fuck he wants. He’s not chill about it. Just let him do his thing. He’ll figure out a way to do it anyway because he’s so fucking stubborn.

Having this, along with his Sun conjunct MC, is a great quality for a leader. He would not do well if someone else was in charge of this group.

Trying to figure out the best way to describe this placement, and I guess you could say… He feels like there is no one like him… 

Scorpio Sun square Aquarius Uranus

A lot like Uranus in 1H, an overall strange and unique personality and not afraid to do his own thing. The square makes this somewhat difficult because it’s a challenging aspect after all, so it becomes that desire to rebel/desire to conform once again, fluctuating between the two at odd moments. Touchy—not physically but temperamental and anxious. I guess you could associate this aspect with that of the mad genius trope, determined that they are right with their innovations too grand for current society. He doesn’t like to be compared to others. Extremely willful and stubborn. He’s lucky he has a lot of mutable signs, otherwise he would be more overbearing and wouldn’t “go with the flow” as easily. That being said, he will still resist and find his own way to do things if he really doesn’t want to do them. 

Scorpio Venus square Aquarius Uranus

He runs hot and cold with people, very either/or, and I would say that someone else in the group who acts a lot like this would be Seonghwa(!), who has Venus in Aquarius in 8H. One day he’s your best friend, then he won’t talk to you for three weeks, then he’ll come back and act like nothing has changed. Values his freedom in his relationships with others. He’s very attached to those he considers himself close with (Scorpio Venus, Descendant in Cancer), but he still needs his space to do his own thing. Deeply afraid of rejection and will appear aloof or unreachable emotionally because of this. Unconventionality, beauty in the diverse, unique sense of style.

✦ Jupiter Rx in Pisces (Second House)

Once again with the eccentricities… Jupiter is domicile in Pisces, meaning it operates best there, but the retrograde gives it an introspective twist. Everything has value to him. Truly just seeking deeper meaning than what lies on this mortal plane. He would be so fun to have a philosophical conversation with because he would take it so seriously and yet be very silly about it. Very inspirational, likes to give and receive what he considers worthy, such as love. Bit backwards in showing his affections, but it’s important to him. 

Virgo Mars opposite Pisces Jupiter Rx

One of my books describes this as a Holy Crusader, fighting for a belief or against one; I personally describe Mars-Jupiter contacts as obsessive overachievers. Completely enamored with whatever he deems is his for the time. There is a need to go out and do everything, to continue to heap on to his pile of tasks, consistently adding more and more, and if there’s nothing or no one stopping him, he won’t stop. 

The Virgo-Pisces opposition is incredibly fascinating because this adds an innately sacrificial component to him, the serviceable and boundary-setting Virgo combined with the compassion and boundary-dissolving of Pisces ends up creating the perfectionistic martyr of sorts. If it’s not perfect, it’s not seeing the light of day.

Side note: Lots of Mars-Jupiter hard aspect energy in ATEEZ. We have some fighters here. Calm down. Hongjoong has Virgo Mars opposite Pisces Jupiter, Yeosang has Libra Mars opposite Aries Jupiter, San has Scorpio Mars opposite Taurus Jupiter, Wooyoung has Capricorn Mars square Aries Jupiter, Jongho has Virgo Mars square Gemini Jupiter. 

Seonghwa has Mars conjunct Saturn in Aries, Mingi has Scorpio Mars opposite Taurus Saturn, Yunho has the same aspect as Mingi but as a very weak opposition (10° orb). Saturn the constrictor is sort of the contrast to Jupiter the exacerbator. 

It’s fascinating to see these dynamics at play. They’re all extremely hard workers, and their charts show that. 

✦ Saturn Rx in Aries (Third House)

This is his chart ruler, the most important planet in his chart besides Sun and Moon. Saturn is called the greater malefic because of its rulership over authority and control, and when placed in the third house of communication, it can manifest as someone who is afraid to communicate or rather lacks the capabilities to communicate effectively. The fact that it’s in Aries (in fall), and 29° (itchy and unstable), and retrograde… Sorry to this man. He’s not a small talker. And he says the wrong thing at the wrong time and has to live with the mortifying concept of being known. Really dry and direct sense of humor. He is just…awkward. 😭 That’s okay! His Sagittarius Mercury both emphasizes and contradicts this. He’ll say a lot of things, but not necessarily say what he truly feels unless he’s poked and prodded enough. 

Aries Saturn Rx square Capricorn Neptune

This aspect is really good for fighting (square) to create the ideal (Neptune) into reality (Saturn). It also deals with guilt and fears, especially the fear of losing control. A materialist with karmic guilt that he absolves by creating and dissipating it to the collective. For instance, a writer or musician. 

✦ Moon in Gemini (Fifth House)

Long story short, Gemini is a mutable air sign, and a lot of astrologers can interpret air sign Moons as unemotional. WRONG. He is a very passionate and emotional and thoughtful person; he processes his emotions differently and likes to put them into words and rationalize them. Meanwhile, Saturn in 3H that affects his ability to communicate effectively exists. Moon sextile Saturn, which impacts this further. Do you see the vision here? I do think he tries his best, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way he wants it to, and he has to figure out a different way of doing things. 

If there’s one thing mutable signs love to do, it is avoid. He has five mutable planets in his chart (Gemini Moon, Sagittarius Mercury, Virgo Mars, Pisces Jupiter, Sagittarius Pluto), which is half of the planets, so you can see why avoiding can be a major issue here. Luckily he’s a Capricorn Ascendant, reliable and steady, and he has enough passion and drive to keep him going due to his Mars placement and the massive amount of Scorpio influence. 

Gemini Moons are everywhere at once…petty and playful and curious. You know the drink dispensers at fast food places and there’s that one person who will hit every flavor to get a chaotic blend of every drink that tastes the absolute worst because Hi-C and Coca-Cola were not meant to be mixed together? Ask him a weird fact he’s learned recently, I’m sure he’ll have at least five on hand. Great at mimicking others, if not literally mimicking then through trying to become others, like idolizing an older sibling. Shoutout to Yunho and San, the other two Gemini Moons in ATEEZ. Seonghwa, Yeosang, Mingi, and Wooyoung are all Cancer Moons. Jongho is either Pisces or Aries, likely the latter. 

Gemini Moon square Virgo Mars, square Pisces Jupiter Rx + Mars-Jupiter opposition

This is what astrologers call a T-square (because it looks like a T, two squares connected by an opposition), fueled by activity and acting before thinking. The planets locked in this (Moon, Mars, Jupiter) are also extremely active. Mars is drive, aggression, action, impulse, the need to do rather than sit idle. This is a very volatile aspect, very quick to respond to any sort of perceived attack and sensitive to conflict. Moon and Mars are in signs ruled by Mercury, there’s so much rationalizing going on here, so he’s likely overthinking every little aspect. “Act first, think later” planets in “think fast” signs. Jupiter is aspected to these two as well, so it’s exacerbated. Ah… Overwhelmed… The apex planet is the Gemini Moon in 5H—turn to creativity to let those deep-seated feelings loose. 

Moon square Mars indicates lots of coming and going in his home life, nothing’s ever really stable—ironic considering all that IC in Taurus wants is stability. Moon square Jupiter can be extreme, emotionally fighting on behalf of his beliefs. Defensive over those he cares about. He can make fun of his friends, but you as an outsider can’t. 

Gemini Moon sextile Aries Saturn Rx

Security and long-term goals (Moon and Saturn) meet in active and short-term signs (Aries and Gemini). Dependable, reliable, direct, loyal. This is a fairly serious aspect, but the Aries and Gemini make it more playful and full of banter. He will keep his promises…the Sagittarius Mercury might make them a bit later than you anticipated, though. I think that this aspect calms down a fair amount of the Moon-Jupiter aspect, makes him more chill.

His Moon is important in his chart, really brings together who he is. He has planets in Houses 1, 5, and 9—associated with the fire signs of Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, these bring passion and spirit to everything he does. His sense of self (1H) influences his creativity (5H) which in turn influences other people through his visions (9H). Fantastic for an entertainer. 

✦ Mars in Virgo (Eighth House)

This placement is part of why his stage presence is like that. You know what I mean.

Eighth house, as well as its associates Scorpio and Pluto, tends to scare or intimidate people because it rules over everything from death, rebirth, and surgery to taxes, legacies, inheritances, and anything hidden or taboo. At its core, 8H rules over base instincts, the primal drive within us all. Whatever is buried will eventually surface, sometimes in explosive or drastic ways if not channeled into constructive outlets. This house also symbolizes “that which is shared”—the opposite of 2H, which is what you alone possess. It’s the give and the take, the you and I merging to become we. 7H is initial one on one interactions, and 8H adds depth to these relationships.

Unfortunately, the fact that Mars is in Virgo exacerbates his nitpicky and perfectionistic tendencies, and he’s hypercritical of others (and himself!) if they don’t meet his unachievable standards. “You need to do it this specific way.” And he will do it over and over and over again until it’s right. If he can’t figure it out one way, he will approach it from another way and see if that works instead because he won’t give up and he won’t give anything less than his best. 

His desire is to control and to destroy to create something new. In the overview, I mentioned the need to transform himself, but it’s likely he pushes these ideals of transformation onto others as well—”I can be better than I am now, and you could be better than you are now. Let’s do it together.” Mastery over the self. 

Sun, Venus, Midheaven conjunction

✦ Sun in Scorpio (Ninth House)

The best way to describe any Sun placement in this house is that “life is best viewed as a journey”—it’s about the experience rather than the end result. People with this placement are also the wise counsel and advice givers, however they never follow their own advice. Always seeking, always striving, always attempting to be something more. And this is in Scorpio, the transformer and regenerator. Scorpio gets a bad rep for reasons associated in the Mars section (Scorpio-Pluto-8H connection); he’s simply not afraid to seek out his own vision of the truth, whatever that may be. Intense, loyal, deep. 

✦ Venus in Scorpio (Ninth House)

Love is something all-encompassing… He has strong morals and ideals and a good sense of judgment. Especially since his 9H starts in Libra! This placement appreciates the diversity of life and all the adventure it can bring, including the parts others would love to bury. He keeps the peace—until it needs to be reformed. 

Once someone breaks through the billion walls he has in place to protect himself, he will keep you. Unless you betray him, which is the ultimate offense. Scorpio Venus people find it so difficult to trust others, and when betrayed, you are done for.

He can get along with anyone as long as you let him be his authentic self. If you try to change him against his will, he’ll lock up and shut you out, but you have to accept whatever changes he goes through. 

Some other idols with Scorpio Venus placements are SHINee’s Minho (unknown house with Sagittarius Sun) and Stray Kids’ Bang Chan (sixth house with Libra Sun). All very devoted people. 

✦ Sun-Venus conjunction

Sun and Venus together creates a person who wants to love and be loved, somewhat materialistic, concerned with their relationships to others, concerned with value and worth. “Am I good enough? I must be good enough.” I think this is where his light/dark battle really struggles because he has so much raw intensity inside of him, but this conjunction makes it difficult for him to confront anything too harsh, and he would rather not show himself in an unpleasant light. 

✦ Midheaven conjunction

If the IC is where you come from, the MC or Midheaven is where you are going. It’s often used to interpret someone’s career path as well as how they are perceived by the outer community. Having Sun and Venus altogether here in Scorpio is deeply ambitious and persistent, and he wants to be known for something, for being himself (Sun) or for being fashionable in some regard (Venus). This is indicative of great success in life and receiving massive amounts of love. Sun conjunct MC is indicative of a leader in his field while Venus conjunct MC is indicative of the peacemaker, public popularity, the charmer over the voice of authority. However, this is Scorpio. It’s obsession and power. He will fight to get what he wants. It’s not a steady road or an easy road, but one he’s willing to face. 

✦ Mercury conjunct Pluto in Sagittarius (Tenth House)

To put it simply, words are power. No one can keep a secret from him because this, along with his Mars in 8H, make him able to dredge up any secrets. Good luck hiding fan spaces from him. He likely sees everything. Very persistent.

He’s extremely motivated and driven to achieve his goals, career-oriented, intellect (Mercury) and instinct (Pluto) aligned in higher meaning (Sagittarius) and social status (10H). I honestly don’t know if he’s ever talked about when he decided to become an idol? Once he decided his career path, it’s likely he went all in and used his practical skills to achieve his dreams. (Though with Pluto here, he could end up switching his vocation someday, complete reversal.) His career needs meaning. He likes to be seen as intelligent and reliable. And he is! He is just also doing fifty million things at once. 

✦ Words of advice to him

You are not who you were yesterday, and that’s okay. It’s also okay to let others in and ask for help because you have North Node in 7H—super easy to fall back on emotional distance and selfish behaviors when what you need to excel in life is tapping into your qualities of living life to the fullest surrounded by those whose company you enjoy most. It’s okay to doubt and to destroy and to resurrect something from the ashes. And it’s okay to be yourself because no matter who you are, love will find you.

Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far! I will say it was hilarious to read his chart because I have an incredibly similar chart to him… I’m talking all planets in the same signs except Sun and Jupiter. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. :) 

Cross-posted on Twitter.

[mosscreektarot]

Akashic Records Reading

This reading is an in-depth look at what the Akashic records want to bring forward for you at this time. This may contain indications of your soul’s purpose, your traits, past lives, and lessons you need to learn in this lifetime. Please be aware that this is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave the rest behind.  The groups are as follows: Group 1-Upper Left, Group 2- Upper Right, Group 3- Lower Left, Group 4-Lower Right.

Let’s begin!

*

*

*

*

Group 1

Queen of Cups, The Tower, 4 of Wands, Page of Swords, The Hanged Man  10 of Wands Rx, King of Pentacles, 8 of Cups Rx

You love water, specifically the ocean. Something about the sand between your toes reminds you of how infinite the Universe is. You are highly passionate but don’t know how to control that passion and may feel aimless or directionless. You are VERY introspective, to the point you sometimes can’t see the forest for the trees. You can be described as “brooding” or melancholy, especially at this point in your life. 

You are heavily guarded by “Angels” or light beings, and may sometimes feel like you are being watched because of this. You may have a connection to the Fae. 

There is either currently or close at hand a highly difficult and chaotic event in your life. You may feel that all is lost and have the desire to let darkness consume you. Black cats may be significant in your life or may appear as a warning in times of trouble. 

You may have difficulty keeping close relationships or finding long-term partners. You often come off as quite intense and it is your subconscious way of keeping people at a distance. This goes back into your childhood or past lives, and you may feel like you have never seen or experienced a relationship with a healthy foundation. 

You may be an air sign or an air rising sign. You are linguistically gifted and never fail to come up with a comeback or quip. It seems like you are always ready to fight for yourself and loath the idea of giving up or giving in. Full of ideas and logic, but very little experience planning or following through. 

This life you must learn how to find solace in solitude. Meditation is especially important to your growth as an individual and you have the potential to become enlightened should you pursue this path with discipline. 

You may have been a laborer or “work horse” in a past life and often have unexplained pain or soreness that makes you feel older than your years. You easily gain muscle and have a hard time relaxing. 

Material wealth is something you have lacked in this life or past lives and you have a deep seated insecurity when it comes to money, food, and finding stable living conditions. You HATE wasting anything and do your best to live minimally. You are very frugal and find ways to reduce, re-use, and recycle almost anything. 

Your challenge is “staying”. You will leave anything or anyone behind if you feel the slightest inclination. You find it hard to work on relationships or to continue a chosen path, whether that be career, spiritual, or emotional matter. 

*

*

*

Group 2

9 of Cups, 4 of Wands, 6 of Swords, The Empress, Knight of Cups Rx, The Magician, Knight of Swords Rx, The Tower

You are of the stars. Your past life was from a higher dimension and you have a natural easy grace and charm. You are well-suited to manifestation. Very small (usually timid) animals are attracted to you. 

You may have recently found your person, gotten married, or are VERY close to finding true love (or a life-long friend for those of you who are not romantically inclined ;) ! ). This spring, in particular, will be one of the most memorable and beautiful seasons of your life. There is currently someone in your life who needs help and attention–reach out to them. 

The next 6 weeks will have rough waters, and you will need to make sure you are protected. Your guides will help you navigate the uncertainty you face, and you may feel like your strength is gone. Keep your head held high and look to the future. There will be ease and flow once more. 

You are called to children…You may have a child of your own, or feel the need to help guide young ones in whatever ways you can. You are warm and protective, and your nature feels like springtime after a long winter to little ones. You would do well in healing arts, teaching, forest conservation, and have a knack for growing things. Venus may have a strong influence on your birthchart. 

Self-care is what you lack. You are so busy giving your time, energy, and affection to everyone around you that you forget to dote upon yourself. Simple acts of self love like rose-petal baths, self massage, or solving puzzles (seems very specific for some of you) will do wonders for you. 

Your challenge is self-control. You find it difficult to manage your base emotions or may have a blocked sacral chakra. There is a lot of guilt and shame regarding your physical form, sex, or your gender. You are very delicate and sensitive, and cope with the injustices of the world by doing injustice to yourself. You must connect with all elements in order to be balanced; it’s like you have the recipe for life but lack ingredients. 

Things will start to happen for you very quickly once you start advocating for yourself. Reach for your goals and watch them fly to you. 

A warning: The Tower was on the bottom of the deck for this group. Do not take on too much too fast, and say no! You are primed for burnout and it has made you reckless. Listen to your gut at all times. 

*

*

*

Group 3

Knight of Swords, 3 of Pentacles Rx, 2 of Swords, 7 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles Rx, The High Priestess Rx, Ace of Wands Rx, 5 of Pentacles

You’re an enigma. A desert storm. Dreamlike and full of mirrors. You are the culmination of your past, present, and future…full of boundless untamed energy with a clear focus. (Do you ever sleep??) 

It’s time to share your ideas. Stop ruminating about what others will say or think. You cannot act as though your intelligence is weak or ill-gained. Yes, you are mostly self taught but you know exactly what you are doing and have groundbreaking ideas/techniques. It’s time to take action and stop deliberating. You may feel at a standstill but it is because you haven’t made the choice to move on. There is no wrong way. 

Once you act, you will have an endless list of demands and clients/customers/prospects. Your life will become more hectic than ever and it’s important you learn to ground yourself now, in order to avoid hitting the wall. You need to learn to juggle tasks (focus on one thing for a time, then switch to another), as multi-tasking will cause you to mis-step. 

Your challenge in this life is trusting your intuition. You may often classify it as anxiety or run logical circles in your mind to prevent you from making a clear decision. Start focusing on the lunar cycle and how it can help you manifest/banish. Spend time in the moonlight. Amethyst may be a powerful crystal for you. 

You have so much fear your idea will fail, and this is keeping you from even trying. You cannot bring your dreams/manifestations to fruition if you don’t act! You think too much and it is only harming you. You may be bringing ill-will into your life because you ruminate and cannot just let things go or be as they are. If you catch yourself doing this, say to yourself “I release this idea”, and physically DO something else to change your focus. Realize it is only human to have this tendency/intrusive thoughts and that there is nothing wrong with you (barring extreme anxiety/OCD–if you have suspicions of those disorders please see a doctor--there isn't anything wrong with you either, but you may need some outside assistance :) ). 

You may currently be in need of something and have very little hope that someone will help you. Help is around the bend. Your full desires will come to fruition in 5 years or 5 seasons, but the worst will be over after Yule. 

*

*

*

Group 4 

6 of Swords, The World, 4 of Wands Rx, 3 of Wands Rx, 9 of Swords Rx, Ace of Cups Rx, 9 of Wands, 10 of Wands

You have been carried and guided in past lives or this life so much that you are not sure how to stand on your own two feet. You were VERY famous in a past life, and were a prominent historical figure. Marie Antoinette vibes... However, because of this constant pampering and being followed about by “yes men”, you cannot take criticism or be wholly independent. You need guidance, and that’s okay. 

That being said, you continually seek purpose from others, and it’s time you re-evaluate that habit. You need intrinsic motivation and a sense of self-worth before you can find true and lasting happiness in your interpersonal relationships. Worship yourself before you grant anyone access to your temple. 

You feel the need to travel or may be very “flighty”. Some may think of you as flakey or withdrawn. You are a strong leader but are out of practice. You may have been betrayed by those around you (Et tu, Brute?), which makes it difficult to see yourself in a position of leadership once more. 

It seems you have personal demons that haunt your dreams and make you feel like you were born unlucky. Cleanse your space (especially under your bed!) and protect it with cinnamon, herb sachets, or even something as simple as salt and see if that clears up some of this dark/heavy energy you have been feeling. 

Your challenge in this life is learning to fill your own cup. You cannot rely on compliments or gifts from other people to make you feel worthy. Make space in your schedule to pick up a hobby, read a book, journal, or take quiet walks. There is more to life than validation. 

You have been building a small empire of side projects and ideas and feel quite worn out by the work you’ve put in. They are slowly growing but you feel wary. Take the time to celebrate how far you’ve come and the milestones you’ve reached so far. There is still much work to be done, but your harvest will be bountiful! Make sure you take breaks when needed. 

[hyaffiliate]

Embracing Wellness: Exploring the Synergy Between CBD and Self-Care

In an ever-demanding world, tending to our well-being through self-care has grown into a vital practice. Among the array of methods available, CBD (cannabidiol) has emerged as a promising aid to elevate our self-care rituals. This article delves into the realm of self-care and CBD, uncovering the potential of this natural element to harmonize with our pursuit of a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

Understanding Self-Care

Self-care extends beyond mere indulgence and encompasses the conscious steps taken to nurture physical, emotional, and mental health. From sustaining a balanced diet and regular exercise to cultivating positive mental habits, it encompasses a spectrum of activities that contribute to an improved quality of life. It involves designating time for relaxation, introspection, and renewal.

The Role of CBD in Self-Care

CBD, a non-psychoactive derivative of the cannabis plant, has gained traction due to its potential therapeutic properties. Worth noting is that while CBD originates from cannabis, it lacks the psychoactive effects linked with THC. Instead, CBD interacts with the endocannabinoid system, regulating functions such as mood, pain perception, and sleep.

Managing Stress and Anxiety

CBD's reputed ability to alleviate stress and anxiety has garnered attention. By influencing mood-regulating brain receptors, CBD may mitigate symptoms of anxiety disorders. Incorporating CBD into self-care rituals could potentially provide a natural means of managing daily stressors and promoting tranquility.

Enhancing Sleep Quality

Restful sleep is a cornerstone of self-care. CBD's potential to improve sleep quality by addressing insomnia and sleep disturbances has been explored. Its calming effects may facilitate relaxation, contributing to a peaceful night's sleep.

Easing Pain

Whether it's chronic pain or exercise-induced soreness, CBD's anti-inflammatory properties could offer relief. By interacting with pain-perception receptors, CBD might help manage discomfort, contributing to an overall sense of well-being.

Revitalizing Skincare

Self-care extends to skincare, fostering a sense of well-being. CBD-infused skincare products, like creams and oils, are believed to possess anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties that promote healthier skin. The act of massaging these products can itself become a relaxing ritual.

Incorporating CBD into Your Self-Care Routine

Before integrating CBD into your self-care regimen, diligent research and consultation with healthcare professionals are essential, especially if underlying health conditions or medications are involved. Consider these steps:

Research Trusted Brands and Products

The CBD market offers an array of products, from oils to edibles. Seek reputable brands that provide third-party lab tests to ensure quality and potency.

Commence with Minimal Dosages

For CBD novices, starting with low doses and gradually adjusting allows you to assess its effects and find the right balance.

Prioritize Consistency

Consistency is pivotal in any self-care practice. Incorporate CBD into your routine and observe its impact on your overall well-being over time.

Harmonize with Other Self-Care Approaches

While CBD can amplify self-care, it isn't a universal solution. Pair it with practices such as meditation, exercise, and a balanced diet for holistic well-being.

In Conclusion

Self-care is a journey of self-nurturing, and CBD may prove to be an adjunct in this voyage. From stress relief and improved sleep to pain management and skincare, CBD's potential aligns seamlessly with self-care objectives. As you traverse the path toward comprehensive well-being, remember that self-care is about personalization—both in terms of practices and products. Prioritize your health and consult professionals when integrating new elements. With an informed approach, CBD can synergize with your quest for a more harmonious and enriching life.

[farmboyprince]

My introspective- week 2/3 of @2024-grimoire-challenge

Finally got some time to write up my review! Joining two weeks together:)

Second week of the challenge, the prompts have been much more personal opinion/belief focused. I don't mind them, but it was a lot more work- especially since I've been super busy lately (exam season is starting+two concerts this week>_<). Thing is, since I'm on my own path and don't really follow one way of thinking/believing, my answer to a lot of the questions was "I don't know". For example, "where does magic come from"? I don't know that. Honestly, I don't even know what magic really is, and I use it all the time! My notes ended up being mostly about my experiences and thoughts instead of belief. I actually like that; I'm hoping that those will change somewhat during this year and I'll be able to do the topic "Magic 2" and reflect on all the new viewpoints I'll acquire.

Saturday, 13.1. The week's almost over, but I'm just about halfway done with the prompts- I did monday (magic), tuesday (witch) and wednesday (personal practice) journal prompts and started on my plant research (chamomille). I knew I'd fall behind for exams, but I didn't know it would be this soon >_<

Wednesday, 17.1. I've skimmed trough the prompts for week 3 and they seem like they'd take me a long time, so off I go to study genetics instead xD

Wednesday, 24.1. Finally getting some time! I'm taking today off before I go back to studying. Week 3 is all about energy (something I sorely lack right now lol). In my own practice, I most connect to nature/it's energy. Not only for energy in my spells, but also for my own. I garden and take care of a small orchard; my room has plants wherever there's enough sunlight, and my furniture is a bunch of mismatched wood types. It's a small room, but I've still found some space for my 200 and 45 l aquariums (~53 and 12 gallons) that are also full of plants. Honestly, they really help me with burnout, anxiety and managing my energy levels- I can relax and watch the fishies, get happy whenever I see a new leaf on my hoyas and after a hard day of work in the garden I usually have more spoons than I've started with:)

(plant/fish tax)

I adore the Sun for its light and warmth, but don't care as much for the other celestial bodies. I admire water, air and fire but mostly in the context of nurturing, feeding and renewing the life around them. I have a special reverence for earth, which, given my line of studies and interests, is pretty self explanatory. Gods and spirits are, in my opinion, personifications/avatars/etc. of nature and human traits. As such, when working with deities, I prefer to go straight to the source- their domains. I have a spot in the forest where I give Veles my offerings; I bring leafed branches and flowers to my altar for Jarilo and I prune grapevines while asking Dionysus for his blessings.

With it being winter right now, I don't go outside as much as I should. For some reason, I get more anxious in cold weather and taking a walk alone becomes quite a challenge and thus leads to me not having enough energy/brain power to get my work done.

With that in mind, I think taking a long walk should count for my energy work this week!

[machinesbleedtoo]

it annoys the hell out of me when people say myers-briggs is astrology for people who think they're too smart for astrology. it's an introspective test, not based on fucking planetary alignments. like astrology it can be used to understand oneself and other people better (my best friend was a typical cancer; i'm a typical aries. astrology helped me understand why it was we clashed so much, and it made me a better person because of it.) also the memes for both of these things are a great tool for lovingly roasting yourself and your friends

i've done the test three times - and i blast through it, to make sure my first instincts are recorded, making it more likely to be an accurate response to how i feel about the questions. I have done it three times over 10 years - so i have no memory of what I answered with. I have got INTJ-A every time. the write up 16personalities did on it was more helpful to me than therapy, and helped me realize where my empathy was sorely lacking

therapists used to tell me i didn't need them because i am so good at being analytical and said they were happy to be there for me to vent or whatever because they found me interesting to talk to regardless. none of us realized my being so good at analytics is what made me a dick, because they didn't see that side of me - and i was unaware of it being a problem myself. the INTJ writeup called me the fuck out on this, in a good and helpful way! it turns out being so clinical can be a bad thing, actually

i like it too because if people want to get to know how i think better - which is always a good thing - INTJ is a quick way to communicate that. they can just read about it on 16personalities and i don't have to explain it with my inferior words

it also helps me understand differences between me and my friends and how they think and where misunderstandings happen when we're engaging in political debate, if they self-identify as the test results reflecting them well

like idk, if it helps people and isn't being used to harm people who fucking cares. if someone is overly reliant on it or astrology to dictate who they associate with, that's a them problem

[deviant-nomad]

Things we can learn from crushes on fictional characters

"... a safe form of love. In most cases, people crush on fictional characters when they’re not yet ready for a real-life relationship. And that’s totally fine. ... a way for you to experience all the fun of having a crush without any of the pain. It gives you someone to love and someone to look forward to seeing. It gives you someone to fantasize about. But when you do find you’re ready for a real relationship, you’ll probably have to stop crushing on these characters—at least, you’ll have to stop crushing on them exclusively. And you’ll have to find someone in the real world to love. I know how scary it can be to put your heart out there and risk getting it broken. But if you don’t ever try, you’ll never get to experience the beauty of true love either.

... a form of escape....from reality. This can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the intensity of the crush. ... You may tend to do this if you don’t have many friends or if you don’t feel others understand or appreciate you. This may also be tempting if you don’t feel attractive to others or if you don’t feel any real person would ever reciprocate your love. With a fictional character, your heart is always safe. But if you choose to reserve your love for these characters, you’re also choosing to live a life in hiding. It may be true that you don’t fit in easily with others because of your unique qualities. ... But this doesn’t mean no one will reciprocate your feelings. It just means it might take a little longer for you to find someone who appreciates all you have to offer. If you genuinely desire to have a partner, I believe there’s someone out there for you. But if you never give real people a chance, you’ll never find them. Don’t ever believe the lie that you’re unlovable. And don’t use crushes on fictional characters to avoid life. Just find your unique way to engage with the real world—at your own pace, though, and when you’re ready. As you do this, you’ll come to see that you have plenty of lovable qualities. And when you reveal them, you give others the chance to see that, too.

The character you like may have qualities you’re looking for in a real-life partner. The thing about fictional characters is, since their screen time is so limited, certain [traits] will always be emphasized more than others. This means that you’ll tend to be drawn to the characters, not as complete beings, but for these highlighted traits. You should keep these things in mind when searching for a real-life partner. Even if the character you like is a not-so-good person, their qualities can still give you insight into what you value in others—things like perseverance, strength, and ingenuity. But if you’re drawn to more negative traits, it might be because you have an unhealthy idea of what qualities are worthwhile in a partner. If that’s the case, you may want to do some soul-searching to find out why you’re drawn to those traits and what makes you think they’re ok for a potential partner to have. It may be that you have low self-esteem or self-worth, which makes you think it’s ok and even desirable for your partner to demean, degrade, or disrespect others. After all, if you don’t appreciate your true value, it won’t bother you when someone devalues someone else. It’s important to do this sort of introspection before you enter a relationship with a real person. And if you need professional help working through these issues, don’t hesitate to seek it.

The character you like may have qualities you wish you had. ... because you consciously or unconsciously wish you were more like them. Maybe the character you like is confident while you feel sorely lacking in confidence. ... Or maybe the character has a way of always finding the right solution to a problem. Maybe this means you should work on your [confidence and] problem-solving abilities.

Crushing on a fictional character says that, on some level, you crave love. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be investing emotions into this crush. You would just admire the character when you see them and maybe find them attractive, but then move on. Since you’re not moving on, you’re clearly desiring something beyond a distraction. One thing [to] remember is, a crush on a fictional character is not a fictional crush. The character may not be real but your feelings are. So, don’t ignore what they’re telling you. Even if you’re not ready for a real relationship now, don’t be afraid to take a chance on one when the time comes. (And, yes, if your feelings are strong, you’ll have to let go of your love for this character before you can fully open your heart to someone new.)

Final Thoughts

Everything you’re drawn to or admire—everything that interests you or captivates you—all of it says something about you. The fictional characters you crush on reveal the qualities you value in people in general and in romantic partners more specifically.

... the fact that you’re even crushing on these characters says you have a desire to experience reciprocal love. If you’re not ready for it yet, that’s ok. Just don’t let fear keep you from ever taking a chance on love in the real world."

[klcthebookworm]

15 November 2023 Metrics

Previous Word Count: 61,734 New Words: 621 Total words for the first draft: 62,355 NaNo 2023 Cumulative Word Count: 15,139 What I Accomplished in the Narrative Today: Skipped a scene with Peg that would be nothing but active introspection on her part since I’m kind of introspected out of by today and started David, Raven, and Ferris conference scene instead. Fave line: “We only have an hour before he has to go and we need to know what the hell happened last night, so get your bony ass out of my bed already!” What Else I Accomplished Today: Started off with a bit of introspection this morning in the lastEUfans Slack. I had made an observation last night that has been lingering in my mind that I was doing good reaching my daily word count goal of 600, but less well hitting the 1667 NaNo daily word goal and went to bed. Which got me honest push back that the NaNo’s word goal “is intense by design. I’m not sure how people do it while still doing life at all.” (I honestly think they dump the life aspects on partners or other family members or roommates or they are much better at the word vomit than I am.) That push back triggered some unpacking for me, which is going here so I will do math in December to smack my expectations with evidence.

I’ve had 600 words as a daily goal for years because I’m equally confident that I can write that in an hour and if I don’t, it’s not because of other things getting in the way, the only reason that I can fail at such an easy attainable goal that only takes an hour is because I am lazy and undisciplined, and will never be a published author because I am lazy and undisciplined.

This is not new territory. The writing blog I started back in 2004 is titled Discipline Under Fire, because OBVIOUSLY my willpower and dedication and discipline to stick to my desires was sorely lacking and needed a bit of public accountability.

I like to think I have mellowed out on myself in the nearly twenty years since that. Reading Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price Ph.D. helped but I think I may have to have it handy for a reread in December when I confront myself with math evidence with all the word count tracking spreadsheets I keep. Because I honestly typed: “Most days I can move through (meaning writing and being happy with the words I achieved) without waking up that brain weasel (having my jerkbrain scream abuse at myself because I’m a failure that so clearly deserve abuse);” the utter honesty at 4:30 a.m. when I should be getting dressed. The brain weasel is sleeping. It is not dead, it hasn’t moved out, it’s just having a nap to get ready to tear into me again.

Back on why I need math evidence topic. The weasel is sleeping but my unrealistic expectation that I can obviously write 600 words in an hour is getting the equivalent of a finger flick to the forehead because I am putting in a rough average of at least two hours a day to just Strix: Forget the Sun and its metrics for NaNo but not getting much higher than 600 words a day. What I can actually write in an hour and plans to strengthen that muscle has to wait until December when I have time to pull out spreadsheets and crunch.

But I honestly have more unpacking to do on this whole thing because I have buried that it was a thing. At this point of my day, it’s becoming a procrastination tactic to avoid the fiction writing. Don’t worry, these words get counted toward my NaNo goals too. I should’ve made a category for that but forgot to back on November 1st, but they go on the spreadsheet and get counted under the Cumulative NaNo total.

Where I am leaving this whole messy thing right now: this is Day 15 and I haven’t tossed Strix: Forget the Sun aside as unwritable for another year has made this NaNo a success. I have already made more words this year than I made in NaNo 2019 (3780 words) or in Camp NaNo 2021 (13,317 words). What I'm looking forward to: I have a massage tomorrow. And then my weekend plus a vacation with Thanksgiving. What I'm not looking forward to: Travel with my parents to see my sister for Thanksgiving. Very, very unsure how it’s going to go.

[somanywhatifs]

Misconceptions Meet assumptions Sorely lacking Any gumption

Error drenched in Condescension Twisting all my Good intentions

Wishing you much Introspection As I end this Interaction

[forever-rogue]

if your still accepting prompts, maybe an introspect fic with Frankie or Whiskey. Like they find out that their s/o is pregnant and it just triggers them into reminiscing about their life together. Maybe fluff/angst— my thought was maybe them thinking back to when they almost broke up and if they hadn’t gotten back together, then they wouldn’t be expecting a child together right now -🦔

Pairing: Jack Daniels x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: pregnant reader

Pedro Character Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you woke up, yet again, in the middle of the night as your bladder screamed at you. A hand went to your burgeoning belly as you tenderly cradled it. You wanted to be annoyed, but you couldn't find it in your heart to be so. Despite the multiple wake-ups throughout the night, you couldn't have been happier.l

You didn't bother to look to make sure you didn't wake your sleeping husband, needing to get to the bathroom quickly. Throwing the blankets back, you slid out from them and padded to the bathroom in search of the toilet. 

As you finished washing your hands, you studied yourself in the mirror. You definitely looked tired, circles and lines under your eyes from a lack of fitful slumber, and your body felt heavy. It wasn't just the fact that you were nearing the end of your pregnancy, it was just that your limbs felt tired and worn down. But in the end, you knew it would all be worth it - you and Jack had both wanted this more than anything. It had been the most pleasant of surprises.

"Time for you to calm down and get some rest," you whispered softly to your belly before flipping the lights back off and giving your eyes a moment to adjust the early morning darkness. 

Carefully fumbling your way back into the bedroom, you slipped back into the warm nest of blankets. Reaching for you Jack's body, you quickly realized that he wasn't there. Strange - he'd gone to bed with you earlier. It was no matter, you quickly decided, he'd probably rejoin you soon enough.

But as you laid there and tried to fall back asleep…it rapidly became a futile effort. You huffed, staring at the ceiling, as you quickly realized how much easier it was to sleep with your husband next to you.

“Alright, alright,” sitting up slowly, you wiped the remaining bit of sleep from your eyes as you gave up on it entirely. It was still early, early enough to where you could crawl back under the covers and sleep for a few more hours, but that idea was quickly abandoned, “let’s go find your daddy, little peanut.”

Shuffling into slippers, you made your way down the stairs, one at a time as you were destined to do so these days, keeping an ear out for Jack. Once you reached the landing, the smell of fresh coffee overwhelmed you, and the urge to run and grab a cup was first on your mind. But for now, you decided against it, knowing your caffeine intake was limited and not wanting to blow it so early in the day. 

Trapezing past the kitchen you spied the french doors to the back porch and quickly came to the conclusion that Jack was outside. Grabbing one of the blankets from the couch, you wrapped it around your shoulders and wandered outside, finding your favorite cowboy sitting at the glass table, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand as he watched the early morning sun slowly rise.

“Hi Sugar,” his face lit up as soon as he saw you, dark eyes softened and his dimple became more prominent, “what are you doing up so early? I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“It wasn’t you,” you promised as you sat down in the chair across from, well...I woke up and had to pee...again, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep. It’s not the same without you. So I figured I might as well get up, and low and behold, I found my favorite person.”

“I hardly am deserving of such a little as favorite person,” he shook his head as reached for your legs and placed them in his lap, “I’m just an old fool.”

“Shut up,” you snorted as you bundled up and got comfortable, “I say you’re my favorite person and you accept that - or else! But tell me, my love, why are you up so early?”

“I suppose I couldn’t sleep either,” he admitted, taking a long drink from his coffee before setting it back on the table. He was silent, almost still, for a few long moments before he put his hands on your legs and lightly massaged your sore muscles, “a lot on my mind.”

“I hope it’s nothing too bad, cowboy,” you whispered softly, “anything I can help with?”

“You’ve already done so much for me,” he reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, “you have given me so much and more. I don’t know where I would be without you - how lucky I am to call you my wife and the mother of my child.”

“And what about me? I must be pretty lucky then too,” lacing your fingers together, you studied your hands. Yours just managed to fit perfectly into his - just like it was meant to be, “is that all that’s bugging you, Honey?”

“I just…” he caught your eye and thought twice about dismissing your worry. You could always see right through him, and it seemed like your senses had only heightened with your pregnancy. He laughed lightly at himself before nodding, “I was just thinking about how we almost didn’t have this. How all of this could have been taken away.”

“I know,” you reminded him with a gentle nudge, “there were a few times when I wasn’t sure we would make it either. But I’m glad we did, Jack. I know it sounds horribly cliche, but I can’t help but think that somehow the universe wanted us together, like we were meant to be.”

“I don’t think that’s cliche at all, Sugar,” he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles, “I don’t know what life would be like without you. You really are everything to me.”

“I like to think life would be terribly boring and much worse,” you insisted, “nothing is better than when I’m with you. I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too,” he promised softly, “always and forever.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Several Years Prior

“Sugar,” Jack’s hands were on his hips as he watched you flit about the room and throw random items into your suitcase. Whatever you could find was thrown into the big case and you could barely stand to look at him, “what on earth are you doing?”

“What does it look like, Jack?” you stopped for a moment and huffed at him, throwing up your hands in exasperation, “I’m leaving. I-I-I can’t do this anymore.”

“Honey,” he came over and tried to gently grab your hands in order to help calm you down and ground you, “just slow down, it’s okay. It’s okay, you don’t have to do this.”

You didn’t jerk out of his touch like he had half expected you to, but instead you acquiesced to his touch, “Jack...I can’t...do this. It’s too much for me, and no matter how much we try, I don’t think we can work this out.”

“Honey…”

“Jack…” you looked at him, tears already welling up in your eyes as your pouted lips trembled, “you work such a dangerous job and you’re gone so often and when you’re gone I can’t communicate with you all the time, and it makes me worried sick. All I do is wonder if you're okay, and if this is the time...if this is the time that I’ll get a call tell me...telling me you’re dead.”

“That is never going to happen,” he insisted, despite the fact that both of you knew it wasn’t a promise he was qualified to make, “nothing will happen to me, Sugar. I will always come back to you.”

“And what if you don’t?” a single pearled up in the corner of your eye and slowly slid down your cheek. Jack tenderly wiped it away and cradled your face in his hands, “what if you leave me one day? I can’t think of a life without you. I don’t want that. And you’ve been gone so much lately...this is the first time you’ve been home in what? Weeks?”

“I know this isn’t easy on you. I know that, and you are the strongest woman I know to - to stay and put up with me? That must make you some kind of superhero,” he chuckled softly at the surprised expression on your face, “I know it seems like some sort of last ditch thing to say to you but I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

“About what, Jack?”

“I’m going to start cutting back my hours at work,” he said and instantaneously your face lit up, “it’s something I’ve been talking a lot about with Champ, and I think the time is right. I mean, I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want things to always be like this. I want to spend my time - and my life - with you. And hell, if cutting back or even quittin’ is what keeps you here, I will do it. I love you, Sugar. And I only want you.”

“Jack, Honey,” you caught his eye and there was a twinkle in this, as a tentative smile tugged on his features, “I-I don’t want you to say that or do something like that if you don’t want to. I don’t want this if it’s something you don’t want either, or it's something you’ll be upset about forever.”

“It’s not that,” he leaned in, just so where your lips were barely brushing, “I want to do this, Sugar. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I want this, I really do. I only want a future if it’s a future with you.”

“Jack…” his name was but a mere before you closed the miniscule gap and kissed him. It was a soft, tender thing, short but sweet, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, “I know we’ve talked about it...but I want to take the next step in our relationship with you...I want to marry you and start that family we’ve always talked about.”

“Y-you want that...with me?” Jack felt his heart start to melt as you looked up at him with the sweetest eyes he had ever seen, “do you mean it?”

“Of course I do,” he promised, “I’ve been trying to plan this whole big thing where I propose to you - properly - and we spend a romantic weekend away together. But when I saw this...I knew I couldn’t not say anything…”

“Yes,” you nodded eagerly, “of course I’ll marry you, and of course I want everything with you too, Jack. You’re my only one. I just...I might have been acting in haste, but it’s just...I want you to be safe.”

“I will be,” he reminded you, “I’ve been thinking about this for some time, and I think the time is right. I don’t have the ring here on me right now, but I promise I’ll make do on a good, proper proposal soon - when you’re not even expecting it.”

“I look forward to that, Cowboy,” you teased lightly as you offered him another quick kiss, “I’m sorry I acted so rashly. I just…”

“No apologies needed, Sugar,” he wrapped you up in his arms as you buried your face into his shoulder, “I love you.”

“I love you,” you agreed softly, “thank you for this - for everything. We really do make a good time, don’t we?”

“Just like we were divined to be, if I do say so myself.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Come on, Sugar,” Jack slowly moved your legs off and set them on the ground. You gave him a look of confusion as he slowly stood up and offered you his hand, “it’s chilly out here. Let’s get back into bed and get you a few more hours of sleep.”

“Hmm,” you let him help hoist you to your feet, “that sounds perfect, Jack. You’re my favorite blanket!”

“Ulterior motives,” he chuckled as he slowly pulled you inside and towards the bedroom, “whatever you want, you’ll have it, Sugar.”

“Just you is plenty,” you grinned at him, “but I’ll take some breakfast later on too. A lazy day sounds pretty good, don’t you think?”

“Sounds perfect to me, Sugar.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist:  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina @thewayofthemandalorian @phoenixhalliwell @lucifer @cosmoschick @kochamcie @linkpk88 @leaiorganas @nikkixostan @haley-the-comet @chibi-yuki @computeringturtle @4ng3lf43 @intu-witch-tion @wondergal2001 @gingerbreadandpaper @willowtheewisp @milkxxkookies @smollpinkgirl @zukoyonce  @boomtownboy @velia27 @discowitchyy @kiss-evans @theorganasolo  @mishasminion360 @its–fandom–darling​ @emmy626 @nyasiaaaaa​ ​