#is 100% an oc and if you think I’ve ever given a shit. she is canon!! the thing is it’s MY canon!!!!! and bg3 has given so many of you guys

[godblooded]

i would die for lae’zel. that is all.

[lastoneout]

can we get a refresh on your ocs to ask questions?

Absolutely o7 (also sorry this got long lmaooo)

Eugene: Demon who hates his job so much he ghosted his old boss and is hiding out on earth. Personality of a golden retriever with the guilt complex of a reformed war criminal. Ended up getting caught by a demon hunter back when he first went rogue and was sealed away for about 100 years until Ophelia found and accidentally unsealed him. He decided to deal with this by falling head-over-heels in love with her. Also loves humans and earth and reads wikipedia for fun. Huge fucking dork.

Ophelia: Human, has spent 90% of her life depressed and apathetic and afraid of being vulnerable/honest to the point that she's estranged from her family and has basically no friends. Works at a concert venue and loves music but she pretends she doesn't bcs being liking things means being honest and vulnerable and that's scary. Eugene is the first person in years she's let herself care about, though she's not always the best at it. She is, however, very good at beating the ever-living shit out of other demons, as well as baking and playing guitar, and sometimes softball when she is coerced into playing.

Sasha: Human witch, though less in a cool hex-girls kinda way and more in a mad scientist kind of way. They’re remarkably good at not dying despite having no self-preservation instinct, and are also incredibly charismatic. They’re also Ophelia’s only friend, though they don’t really start being proper friends until after Eugene shows up, because Sasha is totally down to help keep him as hidden from other demons as possible and also thinks being friends with a demon is cool as hell and isn’t gonna pass up the chance. 

Harper: Angel who is bad at her job. She is afraid of demons and witches and all that, but it’s kinda her job to suppress/deal with any that she finds, so when she discovers Eugene she uh...well tries to kill deal with him, but fails miserably.  However, over the course of her repeated failed attempts she slowly starts to realize maybe demons aren’t as bad as she was always told and decides to back off. She is roped into being friends with the main three after apologizing because Sasha is addicted to making friends.

Thalia: Demon, Eugene’s twin sister. Is a pretty massive bitch and starts off being evil(and is the one who initially finds and drags Eugene’s ass back to hell) but eventually comes around bcs while she’s pissed he bailed on hell and, by extension, her, she does love her brother and is a decent person deep, DEEP down.

Cassandra: Demon, Thalia’s girlfriend. Basically the only person with two braincells to rub together among these dumbasses BUT ofc no one ever listens to her. Pretty morally neutral, but obeys any orders she’s given. Her feelings towards Thalia are just that post that’s like “I’d follow her into hell but I wish she’d stop going there”. Willing to call Thalia, and others, on their bullshit even if she doesn’t/can’t do anything about it.

That’s the fast rundown, but you can see everything I’ve posted about them here(which includes art).

[hardestgrove]

because i literally cannot be stopped from making ocs i’m seriously thinking of a billy bio sibling and not just a “wow that would change a lotta things i think!” thought experiment. idk if i’d ever like do anything w/ them other then talk about how i think that’d look. i considered afab or amab but i feel like afab that adds a really interesting dynamic to the family and because people hate female ocs the most so i love to spite them and make more.

it’s just interesting to think about billy already having a younger sister that he feels super responsible for but also like she’s his friend/ally in this and then he gets max added onto that. i feel like there’s a lot of pressure on billy to “look after the girls”. like i’ve already decided that neil wouldn’t allow his daughter to be in “mixed company” without billy or himself there to “chaperone”. which is.... so deeply fucked up but 100% in line with neil’s thinking. so things like tina’s party she wouldn’t have been allowed to go to because it’s co-ed unless billy was going to.

i do think she would also be a victim of neil’s physical abuse. i don’t think what’s stopping him from hitting max is her gender, he was clearly comfortable clocking billy’s mom. i think it’s the sense of ownership, these are his kids so he’ll treat them how he wants. max isn’t his by blood and real talk, if the post s3 divorce is anything to go by, if his abuse fully turned against the mayfields susan would leave him. so he can only terrorize max, not hit her. but his own kids are fair game.

i also think given his whore comment that neil would be one of those dads who’s big on his daughter’s “purity”. like billy can be out here with his tits out fucking any girl (and only the girls bc ths is is neil world not reality lol) who moves but his sister has to put up with rules about how long her skirts can be and commentary about how whorish she looks for like, putting on eyeliner. billy can date but she can’t. max can date and she’s younger but the hargrove sister can’t even be in a room with a boy without someone to make sure no funny business happens. billy actually isn’t much help on this either because he’s lowkey possessive and paranoid. he doesn’t like the idea of her dating because he’s scared of being stunted out of his role of protector/best friend/most important person (which is impossible in reality ofc bc he’s her brother and there’s no overlap between these two categories but billy has abandonment issues) and he’s also paranoid about her dating a neil. because all men are just neil’s in sheeps clothing to him. so he readily helps to enforce the “hargrove sister is not allowed to be alone with men” thing. regardless of how unfair or upsetting it is to her.

i like to think that the sister is some mix of being better at eating shit and also heading off what would be a blow out and fixing it. like having all the favorites memorized, knowing what neil expects when he gets home from work etc and making sure it’s there. but also has their mother’s temper so she has blow outs and actively gets into shouting matches with neil, usually when billy’s being abused because she can’t stand it. ofc that means she also gets hit, which billy can’t stand so then he gets hit even more. it’s a vicious cycle. i think in a world where billy has a sibling who’s been with him from the beginning he’s more inclined to talk back and step up against neil, especially as they get older, because he has someone who’s got his back and he feels like he has more incentive to fight back. 

i could literally go on for WAY longer about how i think the hargrove-mayfield family dynamics change if you add a hargrove sister but this is already SO LONG and it’s just me talking to myself so lol i’ll stop now

[cottoncandyjester]

What would be your OCs ideal "meet-cute"? Like how did they plan to meet their darling in a way that would attract them to the boys? Or did it happen by pure coincidence?

love the ask! Prepare for chaos cause I like seeing them struggle

Also omg you gave a request Im so happy I think you're so cool and i like seeing you on my notifications so please like and request more stuff if you want to ahhhh💖-

This story contains: talk of stalking, yandere behavior, talk of sex (sorry it's prince...sex is always on his mind)

Theodore

Oh he's smart

He knows exactly how he wants to set up

He first saw you in your favorite bakery and from then on it was a done deal

His five years of stalking you has paid off

He knows almost everything at this point

He wanted it to be romantic and something out of a romance movie

But- he's still a bit of a dummy at times and it didn't go exactly how he wanted it to

He's played this out in his head about 100 times, he has done everything he has to in order to get everything to work out in his favor, so why did this have to happen?

His plan was to walk in ten minutes before you did at the bakery, he would pretend to be unsure of what to get then once you walk in he waits exactly two minutes before asking what exactly you would get sounding as lost and clueless as possible

out of the kindness in your heart you will respond and he will charm his way to getting your number, even though he already has it. That was the plan but you never did show up to the bakery so he panicked and went to your house to look for you

Were you kidnapped? Sick? What was going on?! He has rushed to your place now right infront of the door only for it to swing open and for you to crash into him falling ontop of him, okay?

You were frazzled and flustered, you must have woken up late. He looked at you and felt his cheeks turning red as you scrambled up and he picked up his glasses

"i-im so sorry! I just crashed into you i didnt see you"

This wasn't exactly how he expected it but he can use this, sure it wasn't the same but it was alright he can work with this.

"ah, it's quite alright. Though I'm sorry to say but my ankle isn't doing so well"

"holy shit, I'm sorry! So you need help?!"

You helped him up and as theodore leaned on you slightly he shuddered at the scent of you, absolutely delicious.

"sorry, I'm so rude I'm theodore"

"I'm the rude one here, it's [y/n]. do you live around here or something? I feel responsible so let me help by getting you home"

Theodore smiled and adjusted his glasses as he faked the pain in his ankle, it was a little embarrassing having to pretend to be pathetic but his first plan flew out the window and this was all he had left

"live just down the road, thank you for such kindness"

He smiled and knew that he wormed his way into your life, sure it wasn't how he wanted but he was in no rush.

Hikaru

He has to be careful

He's famous after all

He has an image to maintain so he can't be all creepy and stalk you

He pays people to do that

He first saw you at one of his photoshoot sites and he just couldn't help but fall

He really honestly just wants to walk up to you and say hi

But a crowd of people would be on him I minutes so maybe not

He decided to wear a hat and mask

He honestly is so self centered he just wanted to say hi and expected you to swoon

Hikaru adjusted the mask now walking into the book store where he saw you walk into just moments before, plan was to casually find you and bump into you before revealing himself and next thing you know you are jumping into his arms!

So he did just that, walked into the book store, saw you and "accidentally" bumped into you causing the book in your hand to fall

"oh I'm sorry, how clumsy of me"

"no no it's fine! Accidents happen y'know?"

Hikaru smirks before pulling down his mask while picking up the book, his eyes shining with a charming gaze as he looked at you

"how about I make it up to you with some yummy food"

"oh! You're that model from the magazines!"

Yeah baby now come jump into-

"that's sweet but I'm good it's truly fine"

Excuse me bitch?

Hikaru felt his body twitch now fighting the urge to turn his charming grin into a harsh scowl, what the actual hell!? Do you not see how hot he is?! God why the fuck did he fall in love with such a dumbass?!

"o-oh well, how about I pay for your book? I like this book as well so it's only fair"

"you like 'elmo goes to wonderland?'"

Hikaru twitched once more as he glanced down at the book you had dropped and felt his eye twitch with annoyance, why were you buying this?!

"it's for my friend's sister if you were wondering, if you're still up for it let's have that food I want some red bean buns!"

Okay..so that worked?!

Hikaru didn't understand why him being a total idiot wooed you but okay?!

"names [y/n] by the way, I'll let my friend know that you love elmo I'm sure she has more books for you"

Your joke wasn't funny and hikaru now wanted to kiss and strangle you at the same damn time. He feels so embarrassed but at the same time happy.....but the real thing he's thinking is why the hell did I fall for this idiot?!

Prince

Okay so he really just wanted to get into your pants

Like really wanted to get in there

Until he started to stalk you and saw how you acted

That's when he fell for you

He has no idea how to court anyone so he has no idea what the hell to do

This was a whole different game that he didn't know how to play

You were different than the strippers and party loving people he hangs with

You two met out of pure fate

Your friends were forcing you to go out for your birthday to a bar

The bar he worked at

His heart was about to burst

He wanted to say hi soooo bad but your friends were flirting with him hard

He figured if he got them drunk they will pass out

So he did exactly that while leaving you tipsy

He's been bartending for a while so he knows how to do this kinda stuff

Once he strikes up a conversation with you he's so happy

"so, you don't exactly look like one of my normal customers"

"what exactly does your normal customers look like?"

Prince grinned at you as he fixed you another drink before placing it infront of you, giving you a sly wink

"nothing like you doll face, you're too cute and I've never seen your face trust me I would remember a face like yours"

He prayed to God his flirting works cause that's the only trick he's got. He watched you laugh as you took a sip of your drink and he knew he wanted to marry you on the spot

"smooth, but you'll have to try a little harder than that"

"alright well, what's your name?"

"[y/n], why whose askin?"

Prince flashed a huge grin as he leaned down his arms rested against the bar as he eyed you up and down.

"prince is the name, so ever wanted to get behind a bar before?"

"won't you get into trouble for that?"

"I won't tell if you won't"

Sexual tension was HIGH

Prince was ready!

then..you fell asleep

Damn it he got you too drunk, with a long sigh he leaned back now feeling the biggest blue balls in his entire life, he decided it was time to take you home so he did exactly that.

Getting into your place was far too easy and he reminded himself that when you two stsrt dating he has to tighten security around here, he laid you in the bed before placing a soft kiss onto your cheek and leaving but not before writing his phone number and name on a napkin and placing it on your nightstand

Axis

Okay so I've talked about how dumb axis is

But he is like...reallllyyyyy dumb

Poor boy was so excited when he first met you before falling in love

He met you at an art store

He needed help on picking the right color and you popped up

Your voice made him giggle and your smell made him drool

He was in LOVE!

He wanted to meet you again

So he showed up at that art shop every single day listening for your voice and hoping to smell that amazing scent

After six months of actively going he almost given up..until

"excuse me, where are the paint buckets?"

"oh! Right this way!"

Axis perked up as he heard footsteps and the soft scent filling his nose, you! It was you! It had to be you! You were here!

He slowly followed your scent hearing you talk to the worker before hearing the worker's footsteps vanish, he was panicked! Did he look okay?! Did his eyes look weird?! He made sure to wear his sunglasses but they weren't all too tinted..what if you see his weird fish eyes!

All this panicking made him start to shake and he soon heard a voice break him out of it

"excuse me, are you okay?"

He tensed up and snapped his attention onto that voice, that angel of a voice. That voice that could make him do anything it could ever want, you were infront of him and he loved it

"y-yeah! Sorry! I'm just panicking cause I don't know which paint to buy, being blind has its limits haha"

"oh, well I can help if you need?"

He gave an excited nod and you did exactly that just like you did six months ago, it was magical

"what do you need paint for?"

"oh I just moved into a new place"

You moved? He didn't know that, he doesn't know anything about you, he wants to know everything

"oh, well I'm an artist haha, weird yeah?"

"well I don't think it's that weird, it's actually really impressive"

Dontcrydontcrydontcry-

Axis held in every tear he could as he decided to ask the age old question, the question he wanted to know for six months

"what's your name?"

"oh! Sorry! It's [y/n]"

What a pretty name, a name he wanted to now write over and over again, when you asked his name he of course gave it to you before throwing an opportunity out there hoping you take it

"if you ever need help painting your house, I can help out trust me I'm awesome with a brush!"

"I would actually like that, when are you free?"

"now."

That's how he ended up in your home, and into your life.

Yuki

He literally just walked up and said hi

That's it

He saw you and was like "oh okay let's do this now"

He has no grace he doesn't usually plan things out he just goes and see how it works out

As a person who is a mute 80% of the time talking with you was a little awkward.

He gave off a lost puppy type vibe

Yuki usually would never come to an arcade, but he wanted to win the giant stuffed cat that they had at the prize booth it was so big that they simply had a picture of it..it would make a wonderful place to sleep on

It costed so many tickets though so he had put his entire paycheck into that card to hopefully win as much tickets as he could. That's when he met you, you were absolutely killing it on one of the zombie games and honestly it looked super cool

He walked up to the machine before swiping his card and picking up the player two gun, without a single word he started to play as well. The silence was awkward for sure but it was you who broke it

"wow you are actually pretty good, you play a lot?"

"nope."

His short one word answer made you think that he wasn't really wanting to talk so you were about to leave when he simply swiped his card in the player one slot before handing you the gun once more, with a grin you stepped back up and continued to play

You would ask him questions and get one word responses back or even just sounds filled with emotions, you quickly realized that he just was a man of few words

Yuki had been swiping his card for the both of you so when the time came that he was tapped out a look of shock filled him, he was about to go out more money in but it seemed like the store was closing

"well, I better g-"

You were cut off with him grabbing your hand and pulling you to the prize counter. You followed as he gave the worker the card and got exactly what he wanted...the softest, warmest, biggest plushie ever!

As he hugged it close he watched your eyes soften at the sight of it and you were in awe. He glanced at the plushie, then back at you, then back at the plushie

With that he handed the plushie to you watching your eyes grow big as you hesitantly reached out to it

"you're giving it to me?"

He nodded softly as he watched you hug it close

"are you sure?! This is the most expensive thing in the prize corner, I don't even think you can get another one! Are you re-"

"take. It."

You nodded and flashed him a huge grin before you watched him take out a pen and write on the plushie's tummy in big letters

'yuki: XXX-XX-XXXX'

"that's your name? Yuki..well yuki I'm [y/n]! I'll be sure to send lots of pictures of our new baby! Figured we can have joint custody hmm?"

Yuki have another nod as you both started to walk out, he didn't feel mentally exhausted when he was around you. You were definitely special and he wanted to know more.

[multimuse-rp-archived]

So apparently I have 500 followers now?!? I seriously cannot thank you guys enough! I’m so grateful for every single one of you! I never expected this blog to become what it is today. I just... thank you guys so much!

I’m going to do what a lot of other people do and give a shoutout to some specific people - I love you guys so much!

@jaimelannisterthings you were the first person I ever interacted with on my Tyrion blog. I was so nervous, especially because your writing was just AMAZING! But you’ve stuck with me from the start, and I’m so incredibly grateful for your friendship! You’re the best!

@the-stark-queen you are so sweet! You’ve always made me feel good about myself, and your portrayal of Sansa is just... *chef’s kiss* I cannot thank you enough for sticking by my side and being an amazing supporter through thick and thin!

@severityforgreatness you are seriously amazing! I love you and your writing so much! I don’t even have the words to describe it lol. But seriously, you’re incredible and one of my best friends on here! I’m so happy we get to write together and chat ooc!

@rosefromdeath where do I even start? You’re such a talented writer, and never forget it! Anyone who says otherwise is a complete fool. You’re super sweet, and I cherish all our interactions! I can’t wait to keep writing with you!

@boltxnbastard again, I just have to tell you that your portrayal of Ramsay is literally... I can’t even describe how good it is! You are also such a sweet person! Please always remember that your writing is the best of the best! Love ya!

@dumbthink / @hitundo I love your characters so much! I love our interactions, and I love the chaos that comes out of them lol. Honestly, those chaotic threads are probably some of my favorite ones to write because I can just have so much fun with them! Lol seriously though, you’re amazing, and I’m so glad we’ve became friends and interacted a bunch!

@timidstrcngth Peeta and Valerie literally give me so much life! And you’re such a nice person! I’m so glad we can both obsess over our muses and interactions and stuff! Valerie is precious and adorable and I love her so much! Peeta is incomplete without her lol. Here’s to many more awesome and cute interactions!

@amurderbutnotacrime / @wouldntlastfiveminutes we haven’t written together for a super long time, but we have a ton of awesome threads! Not many people write Beth as good as you do! And we all know Rio needs his Beth ;) thank you so much for being such an amazing writing partner! I can’t wait to see where our threads take us!

@dragvnflare I’m not even sure where to start! The way you portray Dany is so amazing, and you’re such a sweet person! I love talking to you ic and ooc. You were one of the ones that has been with me since my Tyrion blog, and I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me always!

@gangfrnd we have barely interacted, but ever since I finished watching good girls, I’ve admired your blog! I was a little nervous to approach you just because your portrayal is SO good, and I was afraid mine didn’t even compare xD but you seem like such a nice person, and your writing is amazing! Let’s definitely write more! Rio for life!

@silvcrignis / @dcusrclicta you are seriously amazing! I love your muses, I love our interactions, and I love our ooc chats! I’m looking forward to more interactions with you and your amazing muses in the future! Love ya!

@thegoodandthegreat you and I can literally obsess over ships and muses and, well, everything! It’s just so nice to be able to talk with someone who’s as excited as I am when it comes to our threads and fandoms and stuff! You’re such a sweet person, and I can’t get enough of our interactions!

@fxntasmagoria okay, I seriously love the way you write Zoe! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and I just think she’s amazing! Then again, all of your muses are amazing lol. I love interacting with you! We haven’t talked too much ooc, but you seem super nice! Hit me up anytime!

@galaxysought you and your muses are so amazing! I love every single one of our interactions, whether it’s with on my block muses, game of thrones muses, or anything else! Speaking of which, I’m so glad you watched on my block! Lol it’s such a good show! Anyway, you’re super sweet and super talented, and I’ll always be grateful for your friendship!

@legends-and-savages I’ve been writing with you for a long time, and you’ve honestly given me a lot of inspiration! I’ll look at some of your other threads and read them, too, just because I love your writing! You’re also super nice ooc, though we haven’t talked a ton. I’d love to write more, so I’ll probably be sending a lot of memes xD feel free to do the same! <3

@betweenthesinnersandthesaints I wrote with you back when you had Brienne on a single muse blog, and I’m so happy you have a multi now! All of your muses are portrayed soooo well! Also, I never thought I shipped Harry and Luna too much, but I do now! ;) hit me up for memes and plotting anytime!

@saltxwolf okay I know we haven’t interacted in a while, but your Theon portrayal is literal perfection! I also just love interacting with you ooc because you’re so easy to talk to, and you’re so sweet! Let’s keep in touch - I’d love to chat with you and write with you more! <3

@gloryxfades / @ladyxredxwolf I absolutely love the way you write Sansa! She’s a complicated character, and I feel like you really understand her! You’re super talented, and I love chatting ooc with you too! Crossovers are always welcome ;) love ya!

@prophecyfated when I first got into reign roleplaying and added my reign muses, your blog was the first I noticed! The way you write francis is just... *chef’s kiss* and I honestly sometimes read some of your other threads just for the quality content! Lol listen, I admire you so much, and I can’t wait to write with you more!

@ladystaarliing ahhhhh you are so incredibly sweet! I love Sarah (especially with Tyrion LOL), and I miss interacting with you! I’ll definitely try to be more active on my tyrion blog from now on so I can send you shippy memes and stuff! They’re adorable lol and you’re such a talented writer!

@villainouspassion where do I begin? I love the way you write your muses, and the way they interact with each other lol. I love it when you post those things about “muse moods” XD I think it’s entertaining to read some of your other threads, too! But listen, you’re an amazing writer, and I’d love to interact with you more again! Hmu for plotting or send memes anytime!

@armandlucienduval / @winewhiskeybloodandchocolate holy shit I can actually tag you! Lmfao. But in all seriousness, you’re an amazing person, and Armand is the best! I can’t get enough of him lol. You can talk to me anytime, whether you’re doing well or not, I’ll always be here for you!

@getlostsqdwrd we’ve interacted a bit. Not overly, but a bit. And honestly? Your muses and the way you write them? Perfection! I can’t get enough of them! You’re also just really nice ooc and a great person to talk to! I would love more interactions, so feel free to send meme spam and/or hmu to plot! <3

@starlessyonder I had so much fun playing among us with you! Our discord group is amazing lol. You’re also a super good writer and a really sweet person! I can’t wait to write with you even more - and kill you in among us lol

@smokedanced we haven’t interacted a ton, but your writing style and muses are so amazing! You’re so talented! I love getting meme spammed so feel free to do it again xD and I’ll do the same for you! Or, if you want to plot, message me! I’d love more interactions with you!

@itwcntsurviveme raven is literally my favorite character on the 100, and I have to say that nobody else can quite capture her voice like you can! I remember being so honored when you followed me back lol. I’d love more interactions with you, so hit me up anytime to plot or send memes! We stan Raven forever!

@reformed-serial-killer damon is such a hard character to write for me tbh, and I often refer to your portrayal of him to help me when I’m not feeling his muse as much! You’ve put so much thought into writing him, and it pays off 100%! You’re extremely talented, and I would love to write with you more! <3

@xchxsingcxrsx / @jxime-lxnnister you were one of the first people to ever write with me on my Tyrion blog, and I love that you’ve continued to stick with me through my vast number of blogs! Lol seriously, thank you so much for being so talented and always willing to try different things in our threads!

@blackroselovesyou you’re so sweet! Whenever I talk to you ooc, you’re always so incredibly nice and open to new ideas/interactions between muses! I love writing with you so much, and I miss the times when we had more threads! Things have been crazy lately, but come to me to plot and/or send memes anytime!

@musenssang it’s been a long time since our last interactions, and I miss you! You’re always so sweet, and your muses are awesome! You’re such a talented writer. Never forget that! I can’t wait for us to interact even more!

@thecrxmxnal we’ve hardly interacted, but I smile every time you pop up on my dash! It’s been a while since I’ve seen the Breakfast Club, but you’re really tempting me to watch it again! Lol. In all seriousness, you’re a really good writer, and I’m really excited for more interactions with you!

@thxwxlf your oc is the literal definition of a badass! I love her! I can tell you’ve put a ton of thought into her character, and it pays off! You’re an amazing writer, and I can’t wait for us to continue to make awesome threads!

@santagabriela I’m really not sure if you’re active anymore, but I couldn’t leave you out! I love your portray of Gabriela, and I think she’s amazing! I really miss our interactions. You’re super talented and really sweet ooc! Feel free to IM me anytime!

@tricksterreformed Gabriel and bobby give me life xD no but seriously, the way you write him is sooooo good! I’ll check out some of your other threads sometimes just for fun! I smile whenever I see you on the dash because you just bring such good vibes! Let’s write more! <3

@damnstory we really haven’t interacted much yet, but I have admired your blog from the start! Your portrayal of Bellamy is *chef’s kiss* amazing! Feel free to message me anytime to plot and/or send me memes! Can’t wait to interact with you more!

I feel like I’m definitely forgetting people lol. But seriously, I love each and every one of you! All of you are welcome to send me memes, reply to my opens, chat with me ooc, plot with me... anything you need, I’ve got you! Stay positive, and stay awesome! Happy writing!

[roguelioness]

Year End Writer’s Round-Up: 2020

I was tagged by a lot of wonderful people - @noire-pandora, @luzial, @thevikingwoman and @galadrieljones - thank you all so much!

Tagging @ma-sulevin, @wickedwitchofthewilds, @idrelle, @iarollane, @shannaraisles @charlatron, @a-shakespearean-in-paris, @laraslandlockedblues, @kagetsukai and anyone else who’s interested :)

Word count for 2020 [published and unpublished]: ~180,000 words

I don’t have a comparison for previous years, because I’ve never been diligent about word tracking, but this has been a good year for me as far as writing goes. this is the first year out of my major depression that I feel like I’ve been quite productive. My goal was to write, and complete, three stories this year - which I hit, and is something I hugely proud of.

New things I tried this year:

Quite a few new things! I stepped out of writing in past tense and I’ve started writing in present, which is quite the change. I also branched out of my usual Solasmances and tried my hand at writing a Cullen romance! The Inquisition Job was also my first attempt at writing an AU - and though it proved to be challenging, it was a challenge I enjoyed. This was also the year I broke out of Dragon Age fanfiction and posted my first Mass Effect fic, Deja Vu\\Jamais Vu. 

I also started using a word tracker for the first time, courtesy of @ma-sulevin, and it’s been surprisingly effective at getting me to write. I’m a sucker for tables and graphs and charts, so tracking my monthly writing goal through those is immensely satisfying (and will be something I continue doing in 2021). I started the year with the idea of writing 100 words a day, but I’ve soon come to realize that it’s better for me to have both a daily and monthly goal. As much as I’d like to keep writing everyday, sometimes my brain just wants a break - and so monthly goals help me stay motivated.

Fic I spent the most time on:

For Goodness Bakes, my Solavellan Bakery AU. At ~65K words, it took several months to write and edit, and it has to be the story I’m most proud of writing this year.

Fic I Spent the Least Time On:

I think I wrote Succumbing in the span of a week in October - the spooky season got to me and I just adored the idea of Solas as a vampire :D If we’re counting one-shots, then it’d probably be Eidolon, which was the result of the new DA4 trailer.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

It has to be a tie between For Goodness Bakes and Succumbing.

For Goodness Bakes, as I’ve mentioned before, is the fluffiest piece I’ve written (and also has the honor of being the one fic that’s made me have all the sweet cravings, holy shit). It honestly started with the idea of Solas in a suit and took on a life of it’s own. Thalia is one of my favorite OCs to date; she has a special place in my heart :)

I have a huge, mega soft spot for Succumbing because not only am I a vampire fucker on main, but the idea of Solas being said vampire is, well... *fans self*. It was fun delving into the mind of a character whose willpower is constantly weakening, and who ends up on the grey area of the moral spectrum. It’s also the first time I’ve tried my hand at writing something horror, which surprised me, given how I don’t like horror myself.

Favorite Thing I Read:

I’ve come to the realization I read a lot of  fanfiction and not nearly as much published fiction. That being said, here are a few:

@ma-sulevin‘s Steady and Strong, and Appetite. The first is a Stardew Valley/Mass Effect crossover which is so dang sweet, I can’t even. The latter, well... there’s a reason ma-sul is the mistress of smut :)

@thevikingwoman‘s Temporal Arrangements. Time travel AUs are hard to write, and many of the ones I’ve read tend to be heavier on the angst, but this one is sweet and hopeful and honestly so refreshing to read. Viking is amazing at depicting scenes and emotions with few words, and she writes Solas so well. Iwyn is one of my favorite Lavellans ever!

ladygekko on AO3′s Dear Par Vollen is a very fun, heartwarming read. The Ben-Hassrath agent in charge of handling Iron Bull’s reports finds her world opening up. It’s very funny and touching and very unique.

foolishgames on AO3′s To The Least Of His Children features a kid Inquisitor who’s chaperoned by Varric and Cassandra. This was fantastically written, and so moving. Well worth the read, if only for the interaction between Cassandra and Varric.

Writing Goals For Next Year:

My goal next year is, much like this year, write and complete three stories. I’m hoping in 2021 to continue to branch out into other fandoms. I hope to complete some of my current WIPs, specifically A Whole New World, and Deja Vu\\Jamais Vu, and to finish some of my older works.

One of my biggest challenges is keeping a story to a manageable limit. Most ideas I have tend to be massive, 100K+ stories, which is challenging (not in a good way) and exhausting. I want to be able to refine my plots so that I can keep them to a manageable word limit, so I can try writing different stories.

Overall, I’d like to think I’ve grown as a writer this year, and hopefully I can work on my weak areas in 2021 and make them stronger :)

[radbutsafe]

ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

[zzariyo]

i was going to draw more before posting LOL but frankly I’m impatient so like whatever

I came up w this concept for meelo’s everyday clothes and like...i like it a lot but it doesn’t 100% suit him...I’ll prolly try more stuff out and see if i can soften this design more.

MORE IMPORTANT DOE AND WHAT THIS POST IS ACTUALLY ABOUT,,, meelo’s parents sdkgjhksagjdhgkjh,,, i regret making meelo a straight up cockatiel cuz i thot they’d both have to b one and it’d b weird,, but then i had the idea to base his mom off of a goldfinch and his dad off of a white-faced cockatiel

Their names are Imalei and Rheto respectively ,, ha

THIS IS THE FIRST STRAIGHT OC COUPLE I’VE BEEN THIS EMOTIONAL ABOUT SINCE I WAS LIKE 14 I AM SUPER FUNKY FEELIN IT,,, i m so sad. I hope i get around to doing fulls of them guhhh ,, nd i have some ideas ofc

Like i said ,, i got ideas for lore...i ORIGINALLY had it under a cut but tumblr decided to be a fuckin punk. My fists are so large.

Rheto came from a line of warriors and was raised to be a leader in the highest ranks (i dont know names of ranks and i dont care to LOL). Imalei was a cuckoo and of course was shunned by everyone and lived off of scraps. Despite everything Rheto’s family taught him, he was one of the few people that were kind to her and he grew an affinity for her, eventually falling in love with her.

She felt the same for him and they started to court each other. But as quiet as they tried to be about it, it still got out to Rheto’s family and they did everything in their power to keep them apart. Not only because they themselves looked down on cuckoos, but having anyone in the family be with one, especially the heir, would “soil” the family name.

But eventually Rheto was sick of his family’s shit and was so devoted to Imalei that he went to her in the middle of the night to ask her to run away with him and elope far away. At first she denies him saying that he has a future ahead of him that she can’t ask him to leave behind, but he tells her “that future is meaningless to me if it means you can’t be by my side.”

So with that they run away with each other, leaving Hebra for the first time in their lives with next to nothing. Nothing or not, they were happy to finally be with each other without the labels given to them by others keeping them from happiness.

Soon after, they met a peddler who showed them kindness and let them work for him, which led to them eventually becoming traveling merchants themselves; running their small business with what their friend taught them. All while meeting new people everyday and traveling across Hyrule, feeling more free than they ever had. Later they had Meelo who grew up on the road with them for a short time. (Not important but while Meelo loved both of his parents more than anything, he was more of a daddy’s boy cuz he thought he was so darn cool)

Then when Meelo was 5, their cart was ambushed and they ended up being killed while Meelo hid. And like Meelo said in uh... that one chapter in EHC, two Hylians found him crying alone about two days later, still not having left his parents side. They didn’t know what to do with him, so they brought him back to Rito Village.

And Meelo was subjected to the same life his parents had escaped from, except he didn’t have the bravery to escape like his parents, or even Meezuli, did.

Another thing I was thinking of is that once Meelo came to the village, Rheto’s family instantly recognized him as Rheto and Imalei’s child. And instead of taking him in and caring for him, they were especially cruel to him because they saw him as the embodiment of Rheto’s misdeeds and his existence was an offense to their family.

So, when Meelo later bloomed, was recognized for his talents, and started to rise in the ranks, someone from the family...his uncle I’d like to think...does what he can to try to keep Meelo at a low status and is quiet about his reasoning for it.

Yeah :)

Also Meelo doesn’t know this about his parents at all cuz he was like. Too little

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Good morning! Whats your favorite show/movie? Who are your favorite characters? Why do you like them so much? Also!! Did you have a good sleep?

Okay so I was a film major for a while, and I have opinions. 

Penny Dreadful 

I love this show. Like, so much. I adore it. I can not get enough of that show. Just all of the imagery, and the fantastic writing and acting. The episode intro alone is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. Eva Green is a goddess and I love everything she’s been in. The take on classic horror stories is So Good, and it actually became the inspiration for my Gay Frankenstein story! (Started as a stitch AU, and then went completely OC after I had Ideas) but the show itself is so intimate? I think it’s largely that the period they’re in, everything was so repressed and restricted. So when the characters break out of those moments, it’s more meaningful. And the love-hate relationship between Ms. Ives and Malcolm in season one? Exquisite.  I could literally write essay’s about this show, but I’ll restrain myself and just say: it’s the best ensemble show I’ve ever seen. The characters come together, but they also each have their own distinct lives that sometimes intersect, but in s2 especially, are quite separate. They are constant with one another like ensemble shows usually portray. Also gothic horror and romance? My absolute favorite. 

Anything by Guillermo del Toro

This man Owns My Entire Soul. I’m not even joking, everything he writes and directs is perfection. Crimson Peak is probably my favorite (I have a stitch AU for this too ;) ) because again, Gothic horror and romance. I’m a slut for that shit. Also Tom Hiddleston and Jessica Chastain? Delightful casting. I think it’s obvious by now that I love tragic relationships, so their dynamic is *chef’s kiss* amazing. they’re so damaged. And this quote right here is one of the BEST things I’ve ever read: 

“But the horror... The horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.”

Engrave that on my headstone, please?? I’ve got a sort-of Dorian Gray AU (it’s delightful) that’s basically built on this entire premise. Mitch makes the mistake of falling in love with Stiles, and does many terrible things because of it. Mostly to himself, at least. 

I think my love of Crimson Peak is very closely tied with The Shape of Water. another beautiful movie, I could wax poetic about this forever. it was beautifully written, and such an artistic movie. I love the way it was filmed, and the set design, and all of the subtle imagery. Such as Elisa’s apartment being cast in cooler tones, it always felt very damp and had evidence of water damage, compared to Giles’, a mirror image of her own, in more warm tones. This is another one I could (and have) write essays about. There is so much packed into this movie, from the themes on toxic masculinity and entitlement, to the conversation on queerness and race and disability, and how all the various relationships are portrayed. Like. there is so much to pick apart in this movie. 

Aside from that, ofc Hell Boy deserves an honorable mention because i grew up on those movies. I’m pretty sure the Golden Army especially is responsible for who I am today, given all the lore on the fae in that universe. Wow, that explains so much about me... Also one of my first WoW characters was an elf named Nuala xD I still have her, too, and it’s been like 12 years lol

Near-Future Sci-Fi

Sci-fi is one of my favorite genres, I am a huge nerd for theoretical and astrophysics. But my favorite kind of sci-fi is the stuff that still takes place on Earth, rather than epic battles in space. Ex Machina and Annihilation are at the top of that list. Alex Garland is another writer/director that I love. He has the same kind of approach as del Toro, where he puts a lot of fine details into his work. And I love that it’s very cerebral; there are so many layers to Ex Machina. My English 101 prof actually refused to analyze it in class when I suggested it to him, because he didn’t think my class could. Basically handle? Dissecting that movie? Because a lot of it comes across as very surface level, but in some cases when you look deeper, it’s actually suggesting the opposite of what you might think at first glance. (And he was right, my fellow students were awful. I miss that class though, it was one of my favorites T_T Mr. Ryder was an awesome dude and super chill.) 

Morgan is another good example. As you can see, I fucking love androids lol. Which brings me to another of my all time favorite movies: Cloud Atlas. I could literally watch this movie endlessly, I love it so much. The acting, the writing, the filming, all of it is top notch. And one thing they did in the movie that didn’t come across in the book, was reusing the same actors through the different eras in the book. That was just so neat, because it really encapsulates how connected these souls are, as we follow the threads of their story throughout time. If you haven’t seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough.  

Another one I always think of alongside Cloud Atlas, even though they aren’t related at all, is Predestination. It’s a great movie that explores the idea of fate and free will in a really clever way, utilizes time travel in a very organized way that I think was neat (think Umbrella Academy. They even use briefcases! As you can see, I love sci-fi bureaucracy, it’s fun. In fact The Bureau is another movie I enjoyed) and the main character is actually, explicitly trans, which was cool. You basically get to see the entire story of their life, and I don’t want to spoil anything, but it’s just. So good. Mindfuckery galore. 

Shoot, and I almost forgot! Arrival! That is one of the best movies, and another one I could watch nonstop. It focuses on mathematics and linguistics and I swear to god, I almost altered my entire college course because of this movie. Amy Addams is brilliant, Jeremy Renner is so soft and nerdy, and again, it has an amazing take on time travel. I am very particular about how time is handled in Sci-fi, and this portrayal was one of my favorite. (Most of my physics studies have been dedicated to the theory of time, so like. Strong Opinions.) 

Fantasy

Stardust! It wasn’t until Good Omens can out that I realized Neil Gaiman is responsible for most of the stories I loved as a kid lol, and I had no idea he wrote stardust! But that is such a beautiful movie (I have a Stardust AU lol) and it’s definitely one of my comfort movies. Captain Shakespeare is one of the best characters ever, bless Robert de Niro. I would die for him. Fun fact, i had no idea Ipswitch was a real place until like. 2019. I 100% thought it was made up for the movie 😂

Alongside Stardust, I’ve always loved The Golden Compass. It’s fantasy, but also with that old-timey steampunk science feel, which is so fun and surprisingly difficult to find! 

Mortal Engines also has the same kind of feel, and it was such an epic movie in every sense of the word. I’m a little sad that after all the work that went into it, it didn’t get a dedicated following or fan base, because I feel there’s so much potential in it. But at the same time, fandom tends to gather around media that has plenty of flaws for us to repair with gold, and there wasn’t much room for that in Mortal Engines. 

I’m going to put Jupiter Ascending here even though it technically fits with the sci-fi, because that section is long as fuck and also this movie has such a fantastic feel. Mila Kunis? beautiful. The CGI? beautiful. Eddy Redmayne? One of the best villain portrayals i’ve ever seen. The whole oedipal vibe he had was immaculate, as was their portrayal of reincarnation, and just. The world building. GOD. I get so weak for through world building. Also the fkn intergalactic bureaucracy when they’re basically at the space DMV? One of my all time favorite scenes in movie history. 

Horror

I have very little room in my life for horror. As I said, I have strong movie opinions, especially when it comes to horror movies. I don’t like how most of them rely on cheap jump scares and overused gore and gratuitous rape scenes, instead of, y'know, actual good writing. 

Which is EXACTLY why I adore It: Chapter 1 & 2. It has none of those things, but still manages to be so terrifying. They are my favorite horror movies, and I’m saying this as someone who has genuine childhood trauma bc of the novel. Like. I couldn’t shower/take baths alone until I was almost 10 T_T When I was 6-7 and saw kids play by storm drains, I would run over screaming about how Pennywise was going to get them. Like, I had issues man. I was terrified to see the first one, and wouldn’t go until I could go with my best friend after she had already seen it, so she could warn me when something scary was about to happen 😂

And, one of my favorite aspects of the movie, and the thing that gave me Mad Respect for Any Muschietti? The way he filmed Bev and her father. They have a character who is literally being molested, but they never once have to show it. And yet their interactions are still so viscerally upsetting to watch. Sexploitation puts me off of most horror, and the fact that Muschietti doesn’t use it here, even when it would be actually somewhat justified? *chef’s kiss*. I love him. 

I love horror as a concept, I’m just really picky about it because I expect the writing to be good. I don’t like short cuts. But in a lot of cases, even if I don’t enjoy the movie itself, I love to watch analysis videos on youtube! I love to see the philosophy and symbolism in different horror movies, even if i don’t like to watch the movies themselves. It’s a fun hobby. 

Misc. 

Then in general, some other stuff I love in no particular order:

The Internship (Bless Dylan, Stuart is such a bitch and I love him) 

American Assassin (ofc. The writing itself is eh, but Mitch is my man) 

Dylan’s episode of Weird City. (I actually have a lot of feelings about this one. Jordan Peele is another amazing writer/director, I really need to catch up on his works.) 

Dorian Gray (*chef’s kiss*)

Rogue One (Makes me cry every time) 

WARCRAFT (Obviously this is a fav. It made me so happy, words cannot express.) 

Coraline and most other stop motion animation. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for that. 

Literally anything associated with Tim Burton. Fun fact, when I was 12 and in middle school, I planned to decorate my future house inspired by tim burton. Like, i had Plans. 

Most adaptations of Alice in Wonderland!

So! this got long as fuck! But you said you like that kind of thing lol 😂 I had kinda Eh sleep since I was up so late lmao, and I kept waking up (as usual, rip). And I’m so mad I go up for nothing! The dude I was supposed to show my listing to never showed, and is refusing to answer my calls >_> It’s been 2 hours now, and I still haven’t heard from him. But whatever, I already have a full price cash offer on the house so who cares. And that means I can play WoW all day, now! 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[damntender]

            BECAUSE    I    HAVE    SO    MUCH    LOVE    TO    GIVE    . okay, first off I JUST HIT 100 FOLLOWERS after a matter of like 6 days... how???   ----  though i’m completely unsure why people stick around, or love me or even want to roleplay with my trash ass. i’ve not had an easy time with some horrendous experiences in this community and i wanted to give some love to the people that keep me staying, because all i wanna do is yell about them all the time.  azalea has been a crutch to me in the hardest times of my life, i created her after the loss of my grampa and all my anguish and pain went into trying to do something positive, and with the amount of loss in my life, it was nice to do something beneficial.  and i look back to creating her, and meeting all these incredible individuals along the way, and it’s honestly a blessing.  i wasn’t going to bring her back, but the response i’ve had, the love, the hype has honestly melted my heart and i could never ever thank anyone enough for that. but here, have me shouting about my love for you all in a post <333 

IF I MISS ANYONE,  I’M TRULY SORRY.  IT’S MY ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER FUCKING ME OVER. but i love you all <3333 

so some special mentions ( or a lot bc i can’t CHOOSE ),  these are people i talk to regularly, that i consider my best, and closest friends on this hellsite. you don’t know how much impact you’ve had on my life, but i have to let you know.  they are in NO particular order,  just the list i’ve written down on my notebook, because i have add and it’s a fucking party in my brain lmao. :))) 

@damncockroach  /  @damnbrazen  -----  becks, my love,  my aNGEL,  my bestie.  you don’t even need me to say how much you mean to me, or how much i love you because i try to make sure i remind you constantly.  you came into my life in a time that i really fucking needed someone,  someone to show me what true best friends are,  to pick me up, to be there and just ??? never leave.  someone i can count on constantly, and you’re always willing to help me. to shower me with hype and love, and i’ve lost count how many times i’ve cried down the phone to you and you’ve calmed me down, and given the best advice, or made me feel valid in my emotions.  you don’t know the impact you have on people becks, you’re honestly one of the best people i’ve met in my entire life. i know they say you get soul mates in forms of best friends, and i truly believe you’re mine.  you’ve been there for me through some of the most horrendous times in my entire life,  and you stood by me and that in itself deserves a medal.  i love you more than words could ever possibly express, and i count myself extremely lucky to call you my best friend, i honestly appreciate you so much.  you just get me,  we can communicate in person with just looks, and that proves our bond tbh.  you’re my rock.  getting to know you,  to know you out of writing and exist in a writing world with you is incredibly special,  and like you said in your original tags:  in fantasy and reality,  till death do us part.  i don’t think i’ve ever had a friend who is so selfless,  so down to earth,  and so compassionate and puts people before themselves until you.  i’ll always be here to remind you what a BABE you are,  how incredibly vital you are to not only me but to this world.  your one of the good ones.  and your talent?? is fucking astounding,  i get to be inspired by you and write with you and just learn from your insane gift,  because you breathe life into words.  you gift me with replies,  with characters and i scream over them forever,  and i can’t even say how in awe i am of you.  the love and depth you put into crafting your ocs,  or putting them into canons too,  just is crazy,  and i will never stop yelling about you.   you deserve all the hype, both in the roleplay world and the real world.  five years of friendship aNGEL !!!! i can’t wait for us to be besties when we’re 80 and can bitch about people still.  what i’m trying to say is, you’ve saved my life, more times than you know, and i wouldn’t still be breathing without you.  i owe you a load for that, and i love you endlessly, more than words could ever capture.  you make this rpc worth being in,  because with you beside me,  i can face anything.  i love you bubba,  so much.  i’m so proud of the person you’ve become,  who you are,  you’re a diamond and i am blessed to know you.  keep being your kickass self <3333 

@damnbrutal  /  @fearmer  /  @phoenique  -----  lunaaa ,  my love ,  the sweetest of angels.  my lil norwegian babe !!!! is there even words to sum you up either??? let me start by saying how i can’t encapsulate how sweet you are,  you’re like sunshine personified.  literally,  the brightest light and you deserve the fucking world, honestly.  meeting you was always meant to be, i truly believe that,  and i can’t ever say how much i love you.  you have been there to capture me when i fall,  to offer insane words of wisdom that comfort me,  to bless me with your presence when i’m breaking over voice chat.  when my grampa was dying,  or had died,  you were the biggest comfort,  you have no idea how much your presence,  your pure heart helped me out of such a horrendous place. you got how i was feeling,  you were sensitive to the subject,  and careful and you put your heart and soul into bringing me into a lighter place.  i can’t even express how much i’m gonna give you a MASSIVE squeeze when we see each other finally!!!!  you are one of the best human beings i’ve ever met,  just the most down to earth,  so pure,  so willing to help others,  and i can’t ever thank you or yell about you enough.  you give such a HUGE amount to your friends,  you’re always there to lend a ear, to offer us support across the ocean,  and i truly can’t even express how much that means.  you’re a fucking diamond, okay??? let’s get yelling about your talent,  your creativity will forever astound me.  from your writing to your graphics,  you’re truly fucking gifted,  and i’ve learned so much off you.  you’re a fucking inspiration in itself.  you’ve always shown me that i have the strength to overpower such negative forces in my life, and keep going, and i can’t ever thank you enough for that honestly, like i don’t think words will ever be as sufficient enough. you’ve put such love into your original characters, like mazia owns my aSS you know this, she is so fucking important to not only azalea but to me.  because you blessed me with this incredibly creative and in depth crafted character and i love her like she’s my own character.  you can truly see how much you love writing her, and the craft and everything and i truly believe you’re one of the best writers on this site.  our babies and their bond make me SOB, like they hit me right in the heart and i still weep over how mazia comes down to find out her best friend, her soul mate is gone.  they have a bond that WE have, we bled that into them, i can see that so clearly, like you’re my person. and i adore u <333  let’s not forget about the love of theo’s life either, odETTE. he adores her. god i get emo just thinking about them, and every single one of our babies.  it’s INSANE to me that someone who lives across the world can mean more to me than the majority of the friends i’ve known in real life.  you’re just SO important to me. i just love you a whole lot, words won’t ever capture it, and i appreciate you, i’m so grateful. thank u for being u. <3333

@hewolf  -------  ANI,  the loml.  while we haven’t wrote on here,  it didn’t feel right NOT including you,  because you’ve been in my life since day one of roleplay.  like when i look back for a constant in my life,  there you are,  making me laugh and being your INSANE, and down to earth self.  god,  how am i ever supposed to put into words just how much i love you?? like you know it knows NO bounds.  i don’t think there’s a person other than family for me who’s been there for me through everything in my life,  from start to finish of all the bullshit i’ve been through,  other than you.  you were there when i got my heart broken for the first time,  when i lost my gran,  grampa and my other grampa,  when i had a miscarriage,  you have been there and picked me up when i felt like i didn’t wanna be here anymore.  and you did it like it was NOTHING,  like it was easy,  and i’m so inspired by you as a person.  by your strength,  and you’re honestly the most hilarious person i’ve ever met.  like i can’t say how much i look forward to your snapchats every day,  how much they make me smile and laugh,  especially in our current predicament of the pandemic.  you’re a true joy,  and you’ve been there to support me always.  can you believe we’ve been besties for ten years next year???? like it’s crazy to me.  i just know that you’re someone i’m gonna have in my life forever,  and i don’t ever want to NOT have you around.  i know lately you’ve had the WORST time,  and i can relate to it,  all i wanna do is be there as best i can,  and it’s hard with shit going on,  i wish i could drive up to you and just give you a squeeze and try and take your mind off it all.  but i can’t.  and that sucks !!!! god,  do you remember where we started???? facebook fuckin roleplay??? i cringe at the thought but they are times i truly hold dear to my heart,  because i look at the development we’ve both had over the years as writers,  though you’ve ALWAYS been an incredible writer.  i look back at myself and i’m like?? who fuckin let her write??? you’re the reason i joined tumblr roleplay,  like you dragged my ass to it,  and it’s insane how long it’s been,  how much my life has changed.  you’re so down to earth,  and out of everyone i’ve met on this hell site,  and in life in general,  you’re one of the most REAL individuals i’ve met and it’s so inspiring??? you’re just so eloquent in your writing and you should have MORE FAITH in yourself because bubby you’re so talented.  i adore you so much,  words will never capture it.  i know that i can legit just ring you like i have previous,  crying down the phone and you’ll be there.  you’ve helped me through so much and i value you so much,  you’re a diamond,  one of the best individuals i’ve met.  you deserve the WORLD,  all the happiness,  because you are a fucking light,  you’re one of the good ones in life.  i love you bubby <33333

@racointeur -----  BEE,  my baby, one of the best friends i’ve ever had.  god, where do i start with you ??? without choking up because that’s gonna be hard.  let me first start by saying, i’m so proud of you, so proud of your strength, because you’ve been through some of the hardest shit as of late and i wish more than anything i could be there to cuddle you,  to support you better than i could here.  no one ever deserves what you’ve been through, but ESPECIALLY NOT you,  you are the kindest person with the BIGGEST heart of gold. all you do for others, is so clear to see, because you’ve always put people before yourself and it truly shows how GOOD of a person you are.  you came into my life when i needed someone too,  we bonded instantly over shadowhunters and our love for our babies jace / izzy, and instantly a bond came and i can’t ever explain how vital you are to me now.  days could pass or even weeks, and when we talk?? it’s like no time has passed.  there’s never any obligation or anger if we both fall off the grid.  you KNOW how important our friendship is to me. you’re one of my fave individuals to write with.  we’ve facetimed crying over the hardships of life,  or even laughed until our sides hurt,  i remember that one night when we spoke about simon biting izzy and how we were howling with laughter.  it’s a memory that legit sticks in my mind,  and makes me all warm and fuzzy.  in this life,  i’ve realised you’ve gotta stay close to the people who feel like sunlight,  the truly GOOD people and you’re one of them.  i know i can always message you, WITH any issue, or just to yell about our babies and you’ll be accepting and that in itself shows how deep our friendship goes,  you’re so accepting,  so supportive and i just love you more than words.  your writing is something i admire so much,  you’re so talented,  so eloquent and i just ??? aspire to be that gifted okay,  you can see your love for each and every character in your threads and i think EVERYONE should go love on you,  because you deserve the hype, and the love the most.  you’ve helped me down from ledges where i legit didn’t want to live anymore, you’ve put up with my bullshit and i can NEVER thank u enough for that.  here we are THREE years almost four years later,  still stuck to each other like glue bc u bet i’m not letting you GO at all, and still best friends.  i admire you so much,  i learn so much from you from your strength and i don’t think i could ever say enough what you mean to me.  you’re just purely talented,  an incredible individual and i can’t wait to meet you when this shit is all over and i’m finished with uni so i can fly out to see you and give you a MASSIVE squeeze.  you’re one of my fave individuals ever in life and i just adore you so so so much.  i love you bee.  you’re honestly world class,  and just a joy to know. <33333

@lethaelite ------ MANDI , you superhuman babe !!!!! gosh, i love you endlessly,  i can’t even begin to express, but it feels like we’ve been friends forever and i honestly can’t imagine a time without you in my life and i ???? don’t want to.  you’re one of the most intelligent individuals i’ve ever met, like you can see it so much in your writing, you put so much into the characters. like clarke???? i accept nO other portrayal than yours, because you just know her so much, at this point?? she’s your oc.  i love writing with her, and with octavia too, like octavia’s relationship with azalea is so important and it melts me, i just can’t help but get soft over them all the time. how azalea has broken down o’s walls.  how they’re ride or die,  all of it is fucking adorable.  and SUCH development.  i’m so glad becks dragged ur ass to tumblr so you can showcase your talent, everyone needs to KNOW how gifted you are!!!! let’s circle back to your talent, let’s talk about you.  you’re a diamond okay? a pure selfless individual with the biggest heart, and i’m so blessed to get to know you,  to be able to call you one of my best friends, and you’ve embraced me as a person, as a writer since we’ve met,  and i can’t ever thank you enough for that.  you’ve listened to me yell about some of the hardest times of my life,  you’ve listened and understood and kept it to yourself and it means everything and more to me.  let’s not FORGET that you’re a fierce badass individual, you’re so strong and i’m so proud of all you’ve battled through,  because i get to learn from your experience and guidance and words.  i look up to you SO much, i wish i had your outlook on life,  like i wish i had your strength because it’s incredible bubba.  honestly!!! you don’t realise the impact you’ve had either,  you have helped me through so much.  you’re kind,  down to earth,  and charismatic and hilarious and just a fucking joy to have around. i can’t wait for you to come over here,  because honestly we’re gonna have some insane memories to look back on,  and you deserve that break and a new surrounding more than anyone honestly.  i just can’t ever yell about you enough,  you’re beyond talented,  you have the BIGGEST heart and you’re one of the good ones in a world of bad.  i can’t wait for all the threads we get to do,  all the character development and everything. i know i can throw anything at you thread wise and you’ll be down for it, i love how much you YELL about threads and the reactions, because it truly shows me your excitement!! i just adore you so much and i can’t ever thank you for being you, for impacting my life how you have, and i’m thankful and appreciative to get you to be in my life. i LOVE you <3333 

@damnpain  /  @armyranger  ------   VIC ------- god where do i begin with you ???? i used to ALWAYS fangirl over you,  like i would be heart eyes at your blogs from far away because i was always terrified to approach because your level of talent fucking astounds me. like you honestly have no clue how much i look up to you as a person,  you honestly are another whole level of talent.  and now i’ve gotten to know you,  and you’ve quickly become one of my best friends because you have the sweetest fucking heart,  you honestly make being on tumblr a pleasure,  and your incredibly soft and kind heart is something i’m so thankful to get to witness.  we’ve bonded over our own hardships both irl and in the community and it’s nice having someone who GETS it,  who understands exactly where i’m coming from,  it’s nice to know i’m not alone.  you’re like my very own hand to hold,  and i value you so fucking much honestly.  you’re honestly a sweetheart,  and you deserve the literal WORLD.  you make me laugh so much,  and you are so welcoming and knowing i can just yell at you about our babies,  really makes my day and i’m so thankful you get as excited as i do.  apollo literally OWNS my ass,  you’ve put your entire heart into him and he is so important to azalea,  so vital to her and i can’t wait to develop them and their relationship more because it’s something i’m so excited about. god don’t get me started on how HEARTBREAKING his story is,  his backstory makes me well up with tears,  poor baby deserves such a break,  he’s the cutest angel,  and i love him.  as i love ALL of your ocs,  you know this.  i’m always gonna be here to hype you up,  because you’re just outstanding,  a true fucking icon.   i remember how much you inspired me from when i saw your max blog so getting to call you one of my best friends now is !!!! amazing to me, but also, you’ve calmed me down when i’m spiralling, listened to my problems and issues and been happy to deal with them and it just shows how much of a selfless person you are.  you are always more than happy to help,  and i love you endlessly and more. and i’m so thankful we found each other even in the wake of all the shit i’ve been through lately,  because you’ve become a rock to me,  i adore you so much,  your incredible nature,  sweet and welcoming and i know i can talk to you about everything.  thank you for being your amazing,  sweet,  and truly extraordinary self,  because you honestly DESERVE the world,  all the happiness and stuff.  i know i’ve found another best friend for life in you,  you’re an angel.  i love love love you vic,  keep being YOU,  because you’re just out of this world,  a true good person.  A DIAMOND <333333

@tragedyhymns  /  @damnbrain  ------   SUN !!!! my sweet angel,  god how do i even begin to describe you or put into words my love for you ????  everytime i talk to you, you make my heart swell because you’re just so fucking sweet. you’re beyond considerate and just one of the nicest individuals i’ve ever met in this hellish community.  you’ve been nothing but a support to me,  and i don’t ever want us to part.  i’ve kept you close from the moment we met in the shadowhunters fandom over three years ago now,  and i’m sorry to say but you’re not getting away from me,  ever.  i just adore you with my entire heart.  i’m so proud of the person you are , i’m so proud that i GET to call you a best friend of mine . let me say i’m SO fucking proud of you for kicking ass with your education , like even when it feels like everything is getting too much and you’re having so much going on ooc??? you power through like the WARRIOR you are, and i’m beaming with pride over you.  because honestly, if there’s anyone who deserves to succeed in life??? it’s you.  your talent is astounding,  we’ll come to your writing, but your GRAPHICS???? like you’re an ASSET to that career you’re going to have.  you’re going to have such an insane career,  i am always taken aback by what you can make and create,  like share some of that talent pls.  never LET anyone bring you down.  you’re truly fucking remarkable.  i also have to commend your writing talent,  because you bring characters to life with such a love,  such a depth and admiration that i am always in awe of you.  matty and cris are by far my favorite babies,  like matty is so vital to azalea and the story we have created for them is one of my favourites, like it is so IMPORTANT to me, i can’t even thank you enough for it.  i also have to yell about how much you took on by creating ash,  and making him your own,  and i love being affiliated with you. you’re so eloquent,  so in depth and so talented, you bleed EVERYTHING into your writing and graphics and it shows.  you’re a treasure.   you mean everything and more to me, you’re just a fucking angel,  i love you.   you’re a light —- i appreciate you so much and i won’t ever be able to thank you for that . you’ve made me smile on the most horrific of days , you’ve been there to listen when things are falling apart . you’ve been there through a lot,  and i love you endlessly.  just know how important you are to me,  i will forever be here to rave about you as a person, your talent. never leave me o k ?? because i’ll actually fucking cry because you mean so much to me!!!!  never forget how loved , how incredible you are , and how much we all STAN you  i love you, you fucking cutie. <3333

@damnsamurai  /  @iswarholy  /  @skailante  ----- ZAWN !!!!! god,,, i love YOU.  i have gotten the opportunity to have you in my life for the past three years and even though we lost touch??? it’s like no TIME has passed,  because you’ve embraced me,  thrown nothing but love at me and just been a fucking angel.  you’re one of the good ones on this site,  like we reconnected and within like three days i had made an oc to be affiliated with yours because i fucking ADORE you.  my opinion of you since we first met,  hasn’t changed.  i thought you were truly blessed with an astounding talent then,  and if anything,  i’m even more convinced of that now,  because i am just constantly in awe of your characters,  of your portrayal of octavia because holy fuck babe,  it’s so GOOD,  so indepth.  you truly bleed complete depth and understanding into her,  as if she’s your actual character and not jroths or the original writers.  actually,  let’s say she’s yours because you show her more fucking love,  lets be real here.  let me also tell you,  how much your little messages about how much you love me on discord everyday,  they truly make my day.  because i’ve had a fucking horrendous time as of late with some shitty times irl and in the community and you’ve become a rock.  you’ve shown me there’s some people left who are intrinsically kind,  who have nothing but a GOOD regard to people.  you’re someone who deserves the literal world,  because you’re just a fucking diamond,  just pure through and through.  and your talent??? god i love writing our babies saff and orion,  we created them,  wrote them and i was hooked instantly,  like i am complete trash for our babies and for YOU,  because you’re so beyond talented,  so gifted.  i am shook at you all of the time,  please TEACH me your ways, pls pls.  i also know that i can approach you to yell about things,  or throw muse posts at you,  and you’ll be accepting.  thank you for embracing me,  for being so accepting,  so sweet to me and an astounding friend,  i count you as one of my best friends.  i honestly don’t think words could ever say how grateful i am for you,  but i hope this makes you smile.  you’re a credit to this fandom,  and i can’t wait to write more with you,  to yell more and for this beautiful friendship to continue.  i love you,  bIG UP THE RIDDEN FAM,  love you always,  please never forget how truly extraordinary you are,  because i’ll always be here to tell you.  i don’t want to be in this fandom ever without YOU  <3333 

@waldenborn  /  @geneticassassin  ----- LILLY  --------- U ANGEL… i don’t even know how i can ever express my true gratitude for you,  for always being there when i need someone,  for being your truly amazing self.  and also for embracing azalea from the very beginning when i made her,  i was such a heart eyes fan girl over you because damn… helo is so well crafted,  so in depth and just everything i aspire to create within my own oc’s.  you have always truly thought him through,  put so much love and creativity into him and that in itself has always astounded me,  i think i’ll always be someone who fangirls over you.  i was terrified to reach out at first,  just because i’m a ball of anxiety and you always made me completely at ease,  and even when we go weeks without talking,  without interacting at all,  it’s like NO time has passed.  we just pick up as we left off,  and i know there’s never ANY pressure and it makes me feel safe,  and like i can truly be myself.  you’re truly world class,  and i can never thank you for all the love and support you’ve given me,  honestly.  i don’t think i could ever put it into words,  but you mean everything to me and to a zillion more people in this fandom,  you’re a big ball of sunshine,  of love,  and you’re a true angel to have around.  A CREDIT.  i can never thank you for accepting me,  hyping me up and wanting to write with me,  honestly writing with you makes me SUPER happy because i get to craft such amazing character relationships with you, but also because i get to be astounded by your incredible replies all of the time.  i get so !!!! at seeing you on the dash bc dATS my babyyyyy. our development with azalea / helo always melts me,  from them meeting in mount weather,  to falling for each other and then facing the end of the world together,  living their peaceful life on earth for six years,  undisturbed.  they deserved that happiness !!!! helo is so important to azalea, like he’s a huge part of her life,  and i love our talks about them,  and you always yelled at me about how much you loved my characters even when i wasn’t writing azalea on tumblr anymore.  i always felt that support from you,  and you have no idea how much it helped me out of so many dark places.  i also adored writing bellamy / gabby with you because they own my aSS, and octavia and helo because hearing all your headcanons about his love of octavia and how protective of me always BLEW my mind.  fancy sharing some of that talent, please???? i am just forever in awe of you.  i count myself lucky to know someone like you. the world needs more GOOD souls like you. just know how much of an impact on my life you’ve had,  you deserve the hype you talented lil baby. I LOVE YOU <33333

@damnstory  /  @azgedaspy  -----  KAT  ----  u sWEET angel <3333  first off, let me YELL about how much of a fucking vital individual you are to this community,  like while we don’t have to ask permission to be part of the “damn” family,  you’ve brought together a group of writers,  and everyone fucking ADORES you because you’re down to earth.  you’re so sweet,  and so fucking lovely.  like i don’t think words even capture my adoration of you.  from the moment we met,  you did nothing but embrace me,  nothing but BUILD me up,  keep reminding me how much i was a strong person,  or a zillion and one other sweet things you said.  i can never thank you enough for that,  as someone who’s really been through it in the fandom with people that i didn’t deserve or ask for,  it was nice for someone to validate me and make me feel like ???? i was wanted around.  you helped my mental state more than words ever could truly express,  i love you endlessly for that, as it shows just HOW good of a person you are.  you have one of the kindest hearts i’ve met,  and your talent forever leaves me taken aback.  you know i’m so trash for your echo,  like the ONLY echo i’ll accept,  i’ll be honest.  like at this rate,  she’s your character in my eyes,  because wow,  the depth,  the love,  the UNDERSTANDING you’ve put into her.  it just is incomparable.  and now you’re bringing the loml bellamy blake to life,  and gOD DAMN you’re so fucking good at him,  you never make any excuses for his behaviour,  you hold him accountable and i love throwing angsty threads of my ocs,  or charas calling him out on his bullshit because you know i’m a SLUT for some angst.  you bring him to life,  and it’s so brilliant,  like truly you’re a talent,  so in depth and so much effort goes into it,  and it’s appreciated,  it’s something i ADMIRE,  you deserve all the hype and more.  you’re one of the best writers i’ve ever come across,  and i have no other choice but to STAN,  always and forever.   you showed me that there’s some good left on this site . you showed me that i can still make friends that i trust and love , and to never be intimidated to talk to people,  because we both know i’ve been terrified to talk to people before.  i always fangirled over you before and i STILL do,  you’re just a fucking angel who deserves the entire world and more.  like truly a treasure,  i count you as one of my best friends on this site,  a person who is so encompassingly good,  that it makes the community a JOY to be in.  i love you kat,  keep being your incredible self,  and throwing your talent into the community,  because i’ll always be here to yell about it.  you’re just world class and i love you so much. <3333

@damnbetray  ------  BEAN,  god if there’s anyone who’s a fucking CUTIE in this fandom,  it’s YOU.  i can’t ever express how much i love you or how much you make me laugh.  you are just beyond talented,  i can’t wait to write with you and develop our characters together.  but more than anything,  you’re just a SWEETHEART,  who has validated how i’ve felt lately,  you’ve made me feel at ease when my world was falling apart.  you’ve stayed and HYPED me up,  made me feel empowered to do what’s BEST for me,  and made sure to tell me i’m doing what’s right and i can never thank you enough for that.  you’ve got the kindest heart,  like truly,  i can’t even express how much i adore you,  words will never EVER encompass that enough.  you’re one of the sweetest babes i’ve met and i LOVE getting to yell about things to you,  like spending the very late hours of the evening with you on voice chat,  laughing our heads off about how stupid our languages or hometowns are.  like comparing sayings,  it honestly made my night.  after such discomfort i’ve experienced,  i can’t even explain how much that means to me,  getting some company,  someone who UNDERSTANDS my horrendous hysteria.  you deserve the WORLD bubby,  honestly.  you’re the cutest babe.  and your accent is SO ADORABLE, i want it... i’m jealous.  also,  your ocs are so well crafted,  i am in awe at your talent to bring characters to life,  how you’ve put your love,  soul and heart into creating them,  it shows how much you adore writing and how much they mean to you and i can’t wait for our soft grounder babies to meet.  azalea will LOVE on her so much,  like just you WAIT.  i’m so grateful for our little squad,  not only making me feel at ease in this fandom,  but being a support network i so desperately needed,  like we ALL need that love.  and i don’t care WHAT you say but ur a fucking talent at not only writing but fucking graphics bc what you created was legit fucking INSANELY incredible,  like i’m jealous pls teach me ur ways, thank u.  you’ve been a fucking angel to me since we met , and i can’t imagine life without you and i don’t wanna . it’s like we’ve been friends forever , and i love that .  you’re a friend i’m blessed to have. thank you for being you. i LOVE U so much,  and i’ll be here ALWAYS to hype you up because you deserve the hype, all of it. soak it up <3333 

OTHERS I LOVE,  that if i had the energy to write MORE about i would but they’re my squad and I ADORE them,  they truly inspire me so much,  and i value all of them,  like as MONTY would say,  the GOOD guys :  @mythso  ;  @mythcals  ;  @mieczlw  ;  @heroach  ;  @roseguided  ;  @buriedwoes  ;  @hevives  ;  @trageday ;  @mudwoven  ;  @coyoted  ;  @pahriahs -----  you ALL deserve the world,  your talent truly astounds me and your presence in this fandom has truly not only melted my heart but made this place a safe space for me,  a place of warmth.  you ALL are aware of how much i love you from how much i’ve yelled at you previously,  and if i could fight through this chronic illness pain right now to talk about you all individually i WOULD, but my meds aren’t working.  your writing is incomparable in talent,  like the depth,  the love you put in,  and how you’re all so DOWN to earth,  such softies and so welcoming and accepting of me???? i can’t thank you enough.  you all deserve ever OUNCE of hype.  like you accepted azalea,  or any other muse i’ve written and that in itself means everything and more to me,  i don’t think words will ever truly express.  for someone who’s insanely anxiety riddled after some shit ooc,  and in the community,  it melts me when i find people with nothing but GOOD intentions,  because it proves that there are STILL good people out there.  i count you as my closest friends,  and i adore writing with you and can’t wait to do it more.  just know you’ve had the biggest of impacts on me,  that by just BEING you,  and sharing your gift,  you’ve made me happy,  made this place ALL the more better,  and words will never do you justice.  you’re all SWEETHEARTS, and a credit to the community.  i ADORE you and love you all so so so much. <3333 

MORE PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO AND WANT TO INTERACT WITH ,  BUT I’M BUT AN ANXIETY RIDDLED BABE SO PLEASE THROW YOURSELVES AT ME : --- @commaender  ;  @commandied  ;  @azhefa  ;  @azgona  ;  @astralgenius  ;  @brotheir  ;  @darkseen  ;  @damnfoxed  ;  @damnbrace  ;  @damnloyal  ;  @shenomaly  ;  @damnbird  ; @damnguard  ;  @damnalone  ;  @earthsheir  ;  @earthreina  ;  @fatalruin  ;  @futuresees  ;  @fatalrisk  ;  @genetictraitor  ;  @glassae  ;  @graunfisop  ;  @holykissed  ;  @hqppier  ;  @heroicis  ;  @imperrator  ;  @knowsdeath  ;  @komfolaui  ;  @laendon  ;  @lovkyna  ;  @lovefray  ;  @mortaele  ;  @mortaele  ;  @nextleveldamaged  ;  @otvblake  ;  @puresthearted  ;  @pyrorize  ;  @praesaes  ;  @preytend  ;  @runegiven  ;  @sunhken  ;  @tribrids  ;  @warstroyed  ;  @wanlidas  ;  @avgustia  .

if i missed anyone !!! i’m sorry,  my add makes it super hard to REMEMBER and focus,  BUT i adore you and look up to you so much <333 

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[angrylizardjacket]

Yaaasss!!! Jelous Ben was si cuteee and we love a supportive mother, her mom is fantastic and a savage. I hace a question, how did you come up with reader's character in x-men?? I legit googled it as I thought it was a real character, so welk done.

i love her mum so fuckin much, dude, she’s supportive but can still be embarrassing at times. i wrote her, not like my actual mum, but like my dad now that i think about it. dude literally told me over the phone that he’d physically fight people for shittalking me (not just in general, there’s more context, but the point still stands). idk i think it’s disingenuous to not let parental characters have certain flaws, like they’re allowed to be overprotective and spiteful, as well as caring and supportive. i love her too.

oH SHIT DUDE LEMME TALK ABT MY GIRL CASSIDY TEMPLE I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH AND I”VE PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO HER THAT THIS WILL HAVE A READ MORE

so cassidy’s powers are actually based off of an xmen oc i’ve already written 70k about, Aoibheal Cassidy, younger sister of Banshee, Sean Cassidy, and Cassidy Temple’s name is a reference to her, since originally I was going to essentially have Y/N playing Aoibheal (because it’s my fic and i can include an homage to my xmen oc as a treat). the powers themselves are based loosely on Multiple Man from X-Men: The Last Stand, except Cassidy’s clones can’t live a life of their own like his can. In the xmen fic, aoibheal starts off with having unlimited clones, and they can explode because i thought it was neat tbh.

From the original fic, Molotov Heart, chapter 3, rubatosis:

[Context; humans experimenting on mutants between X-Men First Class and X-Men Days Of Future Past have caught Sean and Aoibheal and they experiment on them even though Aoibheal’s powers have not manifested (she is approximately 13) and they kill her brother in front of her]:

Stunned into silence, she can feel something white-hot building inside of her, all the rage and fear and pain becoming almost tangible.

She mutates.

Copies of Aoibheal, clones, appear around them, filling up the space between the now screaming and bewildered 'doctors'. Aoibheal herself doesn't seem to notice the clones, bawling her eyes out, an action the clones themselves are mirroring, and she thinks of nothing but freedom and escape, focusing on the white-hot feeling inside of her until it overwhelmed her. With the force of a bunker-buster bomb, the clones began to combust, began to explode, first a few, and then all at once. Killing the human personel who had kept her hostage, the blast reduced the warehouse to mere cinders, freed Aoibheal and left her clothing in tatters, but she was alive damn it.

The reason Cassidy has a limited number is because i needed a way to have her powered up as a horseman, like a distinct power up, rather than just something unseen like heightened reflexes and strength. 

I would like to point out also, that it’s not stated, but Cassidy’s explosions (NOT AOIBHEAL’s) are never to do with heat, they’re always about force. the explosions themselves are never hot, never have anything to do with fire or anything like that, she builds up force inside of the clones, and lets it tear her apart from the inside out as a wave that destroys the things it comes into contact with.

The scream was originally hereditary, like Banshee, it developed as her secondary mutation.

From the Marvel Wiki:

The Secondary Mutation (or "Second Mutation") is a phenomenon in which an existing mutant undergoes another mutation, gaining additional powers, such as healing, or a change in appearance.

Secondary mutation is noted as the appearance of new powers, or an increase in existing powers.

It was stated by Beast that the secondary mutations usually occurred in the twenties of the subjects, and generally appeared in time of great stress.

From the original fic, chapter 8, nodus tollens:

The appearance of the secondary mutation:

The world falls apart in a blur of movement. The gun goes off just after Raven jumps and makes a break for the window, the bullet curves as she crashes through the glass, following her on the way down. Tackling Erik earns Hank a mean right hook to the jaw, but Aoibheal’s there, looking at Trask like a dear in the headlights, memories whipping through her head like a hurricane - the sick fuck looks pleased to see her – her mouth falls open and she screams. She and the clone scream in tandem, their voices supersonic as the surrounding people clutched their ears for dear life; struggling to keep a hold of the feeling in her chest that caused her to explode, the clone detonates like a firework, scorching the wallpaper while Trask is stumbling to the door. There’s blood leaking from his ears but Aoibheal can’t move, can only scream and relive the memory of her brother’s murder over and over again.

Hank discussing it:

"I've never seen a secondary mutation so vastly different!" No longer blue or furry, [Hank’s] smile is excited as he looks over at her. Sharing the cockpit feels almost familiar by now, with Aoibheal curled up in the passenger seat nursing a glass of water. "It makes sense though, your original mutation – the explosions – would be an extension of your temperature immunity, but your secondary mutation is hereditary."

Cassidy’s scream, however, unlike Banshee’s, only effects things with ears, not inanimate objects like glass. Of course she could learn the right pitch to get glass to shatter like an opera singer, but generally speaking, her scream only effects things that can hear. 

OKAY LETS TALK ABT THE STUFF I FABRICATED FOR THE FIC

oh GOD I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP WITH MAGNETO

not as in romantic, as in he is literally her character’s main inspiration in the films. i’m literally making a fake trailer right now that’s intercut with moments from his DOFP speech that was broadcast to the whole of america.

i love dofp (possibly to my detriment) but i always thought it was weird that no-one was ever like.... magneto has a point. BECAUSE HE HAS A POINT. he’s speaking directly to disenfranchised and SCARED mutants across the nation, and yet everyone’s heralding Mystique as the new face of mutant kind. YES she made a point, but like.... did no-one vibe with magneto when he promised the destruction of mankind? i would. anyways.

so i thought it would be interesting for this character, Cassidy, to have this hero-worship of Magneto, taking his words to heart like scripture, ultimately making her a foil for Phoenix, Xavier’s protege. 

it’s why i specifically included this:

“You should be,” you hissed, putting your all into the words as you spoke them, and you hear Ben inhale sharply beside you, “we shall inherit the Earth.”

“What follows is a struggle as Cassidy and the figure – revealed to be her clone – proceed to kill the man. When they’re finished, and the man’s dead on the ground, Cassidy straightens her outfit, and we hear –“ as the director reads, Michael begins to slowly clap, “a slow clap, and it’s revealed that Apocalypse, as well as Storm, Angel, and Magneto, had all witnessed the event.”

“We are the future, we are the ones who shall inherit the Earth,” Michael reads as he stops clapping.

“Magneto,” you breathe reverentially, and when you look to him, you and Michael share a sharp smile.

which is a direct quote from magneto’s speech in Days of Future Past:

You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different. Well, I'm here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who will inherit this earth, and anyone who stands in our way will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world. And to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this; no more hiding, no more suffering. You have lived in the shadows in shame and fear for too long. Come out, join me. Fight together in the brotherhood of our kind. A new tomorrow, that starts today.

which ALSO is what turns her into the next big villain for the franchise, because she sees Magneto, the man she kind of thinks of like a god, turn on and help kill Apocalypse, the man who claimed to be an actual god, and side with the people who, ultimately, don’t want to destroy the human race like she does, and also killed the man she loved. she takes Magneto’s ideologies and turns them up to 11. he fucks off to create a mutant paradise away from prying eyes and is happy, she won’t be happy until all humans are punished.

it’s why, in the beginning, she and raven can’t still work together, because raven wants to rescue mutants, but not at the expense of unnecessary human lives, and cassidy sees all humans as complicit in the torture, and therefore deserving of punishment. 

she has deemed herself judge, jury, and executioner of human kind, and they have all been found guilty.

i’m so excited to see if i get around to writing some of the next film because i really want to explore the dichotomy of Xavier’s ‘no-one is ever really gone/there’s always hope’ and magneto’s ‘you were right to be afraid of us, we are the ones who shall inherit the earth’. Everyone has given up on Cassidy in one way or another, whether it be by betrayal or death, and so when she finds this symbiote who literally becomes a part of her, makes her stronger, and is happy to kill people with little regard for who they are, she’ll take it. 

EDIT: here’s the first 26 seconds of the fake trailer (Y/N here is played by Jurnee Smollett, aka Black Canary from Birds of Prey)

ANGEL & RIOT

i wanted y/n to kiss ben hardy that’s literally it. 

actually no that’s not it 100%, i think it’s super amusing in a kind of bleak way that he got fridged for her, like his death, both in the “””comics””” (as in the comic universe for the fics) and in the film, causes her to seek out a force that would help bring him back to life. in the “””comics””” she originally seeks out a mutant, but when the mutant who can bring people back refuses to help her, she’s told of experiments at The Life Foundation, who are working on engineering the next step in human evolution, and she’s thinking that they’re experimenting on mutants again, like trask, and goes in guns blazing, but instead finds symbiotes. she bonds with a symbiote, thus becoming Riot Control, and the symbiote initially promises her all these things, including being able to find a way to ressurect angel, but eventually (in the “””comics”””) the power he gives her overtakes her need to ressurect her love, and riot ends up using her to try and build a ship to bring more symbiotes to take over earth.

IN THE FILM

okay OKAY okay OKAY so she’s looking for a way to ressurect angel at first, but riot’s in her ear while he’s seeing all her memories, and is convincing her to get revenge on the people who are responsible for his death (nightcrawler, jean, and Magneto specifically) so its not that the xmen are just in the plot by happenstance there’s like actual beef, love it. 

I also love that Cassidy’s powers are handicapped when she’s got Riot, since her scream would injure or even possibly kill him. Yes i specifically paired her with a symbiote for that reason, which is also the reason why her clone explosions aren’t heat based. 

but anyway, can i spoil the ending? i wanna spoil the ending;

so there’s this big showdown between riot control and the xmen, and jean confronts cassidy, trying to talk her down like ‘what would angel think if he saw you? What you’ve become?’ and Cassidy’s furious, thinking that jean’s trying to guilt her, like, angel would be so ashamed

“Keep his name out of your fucking mouth, you have no idea what he’d think-”

“He’d be terrified of you.” And it’s so fucking like, cruel and cold coming from Jean.

“Shut up.”

“You have become a monster; you have maimed your idol-” [we cut to a shot of magneto looking all fucked up and bloody, watching with anger in his eyes] “and you have left Angel for dead. If you’d really cared about him, you would have already gotten him back. Instead, you come for revenge against the people who could have helped you -”

or something like that, and riot control has a whole breakdown, lashing out, snarling that no-one could help her, and when they tried, they ended up dead (angel, apocalypse) and she starts losing control, and her voice starts to distort in and out of riot’s, making it clear he’s taking control of her completely. 

there’s this big, final fight, which culminates with jean grabbing cassidy’s face and trying to burn riot out of her.

“No-one is beyond help.” And Jean’s like, got tears in her eyes, desperate to save this girl who’s caused so much pain, but who sees herself as so wretched and beyond help, and we see the symbiote burning away and screaming, but also the physical signs of cassidy’s mutation as like, peeling away in embers, like the black scales around her eyes, and the way her whole eyes are seen as black is now clearing away, and she takes both of Jean’s hands and forces her to keep holding on, to keep looking in her natural fucking eyes for the first and last time as she burns out too.

“You can’t save everyone.” and then Cassidy’s just ash in the wind.

also this ending, in a meta-sense, makes sense, because after this Disney buys Fox and there’s no more this-universe X-Men films, so they had to do a self-contained story, there couldn’t be things left super unresolved.

OR maybe she’s fine, maybe she gets saved and riot burns out of her (spoilers, he fucks off and doesn’t die, hence, Venom (2018); it takes him about 20 years to recuperate) i haven’t decided.

[threeletterslife]

Chana! What are some stories that have stayed with you through the years, and writing that has impacted your own?

ooh nice question! i wasn’t sure if you meant some of mY stories or others’ stories, so i’ll answer it both ways! (this post is crazily long i’m so so sorry)

some of my own stories that have stayed with me through the years: you & me both, over the moon and insurrection/the exam

y&mb was the first full-on angst story i’ve ever published. (before publishing that, i was actually known for being a fluff writer 🤡 i know, crazy, right??) but y&mb sits in a very special place in my heart. when i was writing it, i was happy with where my life was going (i’d finally gotten out of the slumps) and the topics showcased in the story actually really hit close to home so i was also seriously invested in the characters too. overall, it was my best work for a while. but looking back, i feel like i could’ve written it so much better. it was only like what? less than a year ago? but idk i love it but hate it at the same time. the kind of thing where i laugh and cry at the memories from it, but also would HATE to read it again. still, the plot of y&mb was something i developed for YEARS before i even attempted to write it, so yes, it did stay with me through the years. and i know for a fact it’ll stay with me for longer in the future

otm is an interesting one. i finished the series this year i think (which sounds so crazy,, it feels so long ago). but the plot i planned for years! i always save my *special* plots until i think i’m capable of writing them. i still think i should’ve waited a lil longer when i wrote otm because i’m not 100% sure that was my best work ever. but otm just makes me reflect back on the crazy times. like the characters in the story, i also felt so confused and unsure and NUMB when i was writing otm—mostly because the pandemic had just gotten serious in my country and things had started to become like a mf SHITSHOW :(( i connect so much with the characters in otm... (i mean, who doesn’t love an intj mc qUEEN??) so yeah. i also LOVE oc and yoongi’s relationship in otm. their romance is actually something i want with my future s.o. LOL (something subtle, something steadfast and most importantly—STEADY). i wish i could rewrite it now fsjfjj but that goes for all of my stories

insurrection/the exam kinda go together. i’ve had the idea for insurrection the longest out of ALL of these stories lol. i think i mentioned it before but i always felt so intrigued by a ‘school revolt’ kind of idea. so i always kinda wanted to write a lowkey satirical(?) story full of morally ambiguous characters and questionable academic organizations. that turned out to be insurrection, which i waited for (i think? three to four years?) before i finally wrote it. AGAIN, it could’ve been better, but at this point, let’s just accept the fact that i’ll never be satisfied LOL. insurrection’s welton high school is based on my own high school,,, so you can tell how shitty my experience with education was in my high school years 🥳anyways, that’s why insurrection is so important to me. i feel like, in a way, it tells my story (and my friends’ stories too). the exam is a less optimistic (more satirical) view on the education system. while insurrection focused more on the students (their passions, their will to rebel and ‘cheat’ the shitty system), the exam focused more on the unfairness that students’ intelligence could be scored with fucking TESTS. one test that determines your whole future. utopia and dystopia respectively represented privileged children (who were more likely to succeed in the exam) and the lesser privileged children (who would inevitably fail the exam because they were never given the resources). yeah, i think the exam could’ve been executed better, but i think the overarching theme was there, which i’m pretty satisfied with. i’m passionate about screaming that the american education system sucks (as you can tell by this painfully long paragraph) lol i’m thinking of writing a fic in the future about an education system that actually works!!

ANYWAYS I’M SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH FUCK. BUT THERE’S MORE,,, HANG ON

others’ stories and writings that have impacted my own!!

starting with published authors! i’m a huge HUGEJFLKDJFLSDJ fan of louis sachar (i’m convinced this man is a genius lol). i LOVED holes, i LOVED small steps, i LOVED fuzzy mud, i LOVEDDD the whole wayside school series. he’s so witty? and creative??? like i owe all my outrageous ideas to him because he probably single-handedly taught me creativity when i was a kid LOL another author i LOVE is fredrik backman. he writes the best slice of life/coming of age stories. i’m particularly fond of a man called ove and my grandmother asked me to tell you she’s sorry (which inspired nothing a lil green can’t fix!!). honorable mentions go to ishiguro’s never let me go, faulkner’s as i lay dying, juster’s the phantom tollbooth. omfg i also had a HUGE shannon hale phase (the goose girl, enna burning, rapunzel’s revenge)—very fairy tale-esque but so magical and charming and CAPTIVATING!! i owe all of these authors a huge motherfucking THANK YOU. because they built me up this far 😭😭😭i love authors who are able to fully develop their characters or have the most amazing world-building ever. i think that’s why i put so much emphasis on my characters too. i rlly learned from the best 😭😭

as for internet authors!! i actually IDOLIZED this one author from wattpad (she was SERIOUSLY underrated). and i know there’s a stigma around wattpad authors (lowkey rightfully so; there’s some nasty stuff on there) but chloe was so SO talented. she wrote like a poet. it was insane. i never saw anyone who had a way with words like her. we were actually pretty close for a while but lost touch over the years. anyways, she wrote this beautiful, heartbreaking story called chrysanthemum,,, she deleted her account though so it’s not there anymore. (i know. i agonized over this for hours). she also wrote a horror fic (creatures) that STILL chills me to the bones. she inspired me to try writing horror too (in the future, i will!) 

other than that, i love all of @inktae​’s fics! she’s also an AMAZING writer. (her writing style is so eloquent and elegant and ugh! perfection!) her stories will make you feel nostalgic and lowkey heartbroken. she also writes a lot about nature/being around nature—it’s such a nice, beautiful, serene feeling. (she’s also the master of bittersweet endings!) i think i became obsessed with bittersweet endings because of her LOL some of her works that literally breathed LIFE into me: the blue notebooks, below thunder showers, written on the sky, first light (all of them are worth reading. her fics make you want to become a novelist—the inspiration i get from them is amazing!)

another legend is @jimlingss​!! i still keep up with literally all of her works because istg she never disappoints. she has such a simple but fluent writing style, which i LOVE! it’s engaging through and through. and man, she has a talent for storytelling! but the one thing no other internet author can top is kina’s characters. some published authors can’t even develop a single protagonist in the 456 book pages they wrote yikes. (but just saying, kina can do it in like 9k words.) i have no idea how she does it but her characters just feel human—even if they're not, they STILL FEEL REAL??? (sorry i’m just fangirling) but like i’m serious, she really did inspire me to start putting more depth to my characters. after all, why would the reader be invested in a story if they don’t give two shits about the bland-ass characters?? her pivotal works that made ME wanna pIVOT my whole writing career: tears of a villain, flames and floe, game of temptation, head over heels to hell, a voyage to liberation, ghost in the machine, the weekend massacre, love pages, moirai, a piece of the moonlight

i mean look, i’d put down way more fics of kina’s that inspired me to become the writer that i am now,,, but i don’t wanna make this long ass ask even longer so ummm i’ll have to stop 😭😭but i am literally in love with all of these published and internet authors. i just don’t understand how they are so talented. i really DO learn from the best. and i learned different things from each author too!! 

all of these stories (mine and others) have impacted my writing in some way or another. from my own, i learned from my mistakes lol. from others, i learned how to be a better writer. you can only write as much as you read. i stand by that fact to this day

anyways i’m so sorry you had to read this whole fucking essay 😭😭😭😭

[zi-i-think]

Hey everyone! I’m so sad to say that my chapter isn’t even close to done. I’ve been swamped with homework, studying, etc. Maybe enjoy this chapter of an old Mavel fanfic that I started but never continued. After Her Sun His Moon I might pick the idea back up, but only time will tell. Love you all lots! And hang loose, amigos 🤙🏼

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Cleo (OC)

Rating: M

Word count: 2200+

~~~

       Boom!

       "I'm too young to die!"

       Bang!

       "What did I do to deserve this?... don't answer that."

       Bang! Bang! Bang!

       "Cleo, shut up and keep shooting!"

       "We're running out of ammo and there's no way we can get past all those guys!"

       There's nothing worse than getting shot at, by the people you once called family and shooting back at them with an odd band of people who tried to arrest you not too long ago. Might as well crawl back to the pits of hell and play poker with satan.

       "Damn it!" I grumble. I then proceed to throw my machine gun on the floor and slide further down the cover of the flipped taxi. "Out of bullets," I tell my partner who stands to my left and shooting from a gun of his own. I feel bad for the guy. No one forced us to be partners, let alone be willing to die for one another. Just a couple of months ago we hated each other's guts. Yet here we are. Firing bullets like rain falls from the sky in order to not let the other get shot.

       He furrows his eyebrow with a confused look, kneeling closer to me. "We're gonna get out of this, Cleo. I promise you." He assures me.

       I give him a sad smile as I place my hand behind his neck before pulling him down to kiss him. I don't know when or if I'd even see this man ever again. But, I really hope I do. It was a hungry and passionate kiss, but too short, even shorter than those damn hobbits. I pull away but he keeps his face no more than an inch from mine. "I love you."

       I don't give him a chance to react to the very sudden and magical words before slipping out of his grasp and emerge from behind the taxi. I create my triangular forcefield to prevent the bullets, not fast enough, though, since one skimmed my arm. I don't even realize it due to the adrenaline but-

       Too far into the story, my bad. In order for you to really know what all this is about, we need to start from the beginning of the weirdest time in my life. It started at McDonald's, actually.

       "Order for John Mulaney." The soulless employee announces in monotone. The name makes one head turn in the empty area, only for them to sigh in disappointment when John Mulaney did not come to this McDonald's. It was just me. A shit-hole of a person, having a normal night of eating fries and nuggets after an assassination job.

       I wanted the Happy Meal, but they refused to let me order that because I'm "too old". I'm not a motherfucking senior citizen like that Captain America, who looks good enough to, in fact, fuck the mothers of America.

       "Ugh." I gag, spitting my half-chewed nugget back into the box. Jesus, what do they put in this? Semen? I reach for my Frappuccino, the caramel one, of course, and take a sip in order to get rid of the not-even-close-to-chicken taste out of my mouth. And while setting the drink back on the table, the napkin that I used before now has black writing on it.

       I look around the barren restaurant, looking for a suspicious person. Only, I'm the only person here, other than a group of drunk college girls in the corner. It's only 11 pm, what are they doing back from whatever party they went to? That's pathetic. Looking back at the napkin, I pick it up to read it better.

(718)-334-7876

11:20 pm sharp.

       Probably someone looking to hire. But, why contact me with a napkin. A pigeon would be more practical. Alas, it's on a napkin. I've had people contact me discretely in many ways. A brick, calling through a phone, letters, notes on my motorcycle, but never on a napkin. I also don't understand why this person couldn't just come up and talk to me. The place is empty after all... Like my soul.

       My left-hand digs into my back pocket for my phone. Setting my hand lazily of the table with the phone resting in it, it lights up to read 11:18 over my black lock-screen with the words "Fuck off" in bold, white letters in the middle. He did say 11:20 sharp. Should I wait the extra two minutes? No, I'm too impatient and also don't give any fucks.

       My fingers dial the number as written and press the call button. Tapping my fingers on the table rhythmically as the phone rings. I hope it's a politician job. Better yet, one who doesn't believe in climate change! Putting a bullet through one of their thick heads can be fun and stress-relieving.

       "You called too early." A raspy and familiar voice on the other side appears.

       "It's 11:20 somewhere in the world." I quip, plopping a fry in my mouth. "Now, what's the point of this call, Frank?"

       "My name isn't Frank." He gruffs.

       "Luke?" I guess again.

       "Cl-"

       "I know what your name is." I interrupt him, leaning back in my chair with a cocky smirk. "It's Gandalf, right?"

       The other line is silent while I lightly snicker to myself. I know I can be a little... much. But what's a little pestering, right? I was never that good at socializing, though. I have what you call "people-problems". Simply put, I don't like people too much and they don't like me in return. Which is why I make such a great business partner.

       "Cleo, we have a job for you." Right we're back to that.

       "How was your brief vacation, Frank?" Silence. Again. The fact that I am still alive despite getting everyone to hate me is astonishing. Really, I have made so many enemies just by talking. Whether it be by calling them a nasty word or confusing their gender, I can always offend someone. Even with the simplicity of calling this man Frank.

       "Can you be professional for once?" He lets out a breathy plead. "It wouldn't kill ya."

       "No, it wouldn't kill me." I sigh in agreement. "but it does take the joy out of things, such as killing others. Which is why you called."

       "Come to the house and you'll be given all the information."

       "Woah Woah Woah Woah." I raise my eyebrows as I interrupt my little acquaintance for this millionth time during this one phone call. "Woah. You think I'm actually going to take this job?"

       "Come on, Cleo." I roll my eyes already as I reach for my frappuccino for another long sip. "It's been over a year now and-"

       "Ahhh." I hiss, my left hand find their way for my forehead and shut my eyes up tightly. This pain. One of the worst a person can get, no later how trained and pain tolerant I get, I can always feel this pain.

       "Cleo?" Not-Frank's raspy voice is sounded through the phone. "Cleo, are you alright?" Worry? Coming from not-Frank? The last time that's been a thing was a couple of years ago when I almost threw him off a building. If your wondering about that, well long story short, there was a lot of suspicion between the families and not-Frank got caught in the middle of a lot of things.

       "Yep," I grunt, finally removing my hands from my forehead. "Damn. Been shot multiple times and a brain-freeze will always be one of the worst pain I will ever experience. Now, what were we discussing? Oh right. The fact that I am 100 percent done with you guys."

       "You know, you're lucky to be alive. The Boss never lets anyone leave and you were somehow able to waltz right out the door. Tell me, Cleo. How did you really get out." His voice was beginning to sound like a snake. It was low and airy, just the right amount of that lovely threatening tone that people get so scared of.

       "Well I didn't really 'waltz' out of the door, I'm not much of a dancer. It was more of a strut, really."

       "Dio mio." He mutters under his breath. I presume he is also burying his face in his hand at the moment.

       "You don't believe in God, Frank." I playfully scold him. "Oh, while I have you on the phone I need to ask you something. So, if you ran a night club and you were about to be assassinated by a quite gorgeous female. Would you prefer to be killed with a jagged or smooth knife?"

       "Cleo–"

       "Cause the smooth ones are a bit faster, but for some reason, they spray more blood and I was planning on wearing a new coat I bought. And the–"

       "Just shut up and listen to me!" He snapped, the sound of his fist banging on the table clear, even through the phone. My mouth still hangs open as a sort of offended look becomes present on my face. Most people know better than to raise their voice at me since I've been known to be a little violent to those who disrespect me. Though, this instance was different because of one: if you haven't noticed, not-Frank and I aren't even in the same room. And two: I know that the boss is probably waiting for not-Frank to return to his office and let him know that I'll be one my way. And when the boss requests you to do something, there's a lot of pressure to get it done fast.

       Both sides of the phone are dead silent as I wait for the man to start talking again. Maybe ten seconds after the outburst, I hear a low murmur from not-Frank. "So she can be quiet." I bite down on my tongue, hard, to stop myself from making a snarky comment. "Don Caruso is hoping that you can come over to the house."

       I scoff. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. Don't get me wrong. I want to say no. After all, when I left, I was hoping to leave behind the whole mafia sha-bang, too. But I know a few things. Like the fact that I will be getting paid pretty nicely for this. And also the fact that business has been a bit slow lately and being able to tell clients that the New York crime boss practically begged to hire me will boost my independent business.

       "Give me a couple of hours to get there," I tell him. "And make sure that statue in the front yard is covered up with a sheet or something. The horse's eyes freak me out." Hanging up the phone, my jewelry barren hand grabs the yellow tray with all the greasy food as I stand and throw it all away in the trash.

       I take a couple of steps out the door and stop. My senses heighten and my head turns to look to my left. The light from inside the restaurant is what allows me to get a somewhat good look at the homeless man walking on the sidewalk with a slight limb from his left leg. The man's dark beard is disheveled and I can only assume that his hair is pulled back but with the gray hood over I'm not completely sure. Something about him felt off. And when you're in my kind of business, you learn that your intuitions are usually right.

       The man wears old blue jeans, a grey hoodie with another red jacket over it, and black tennis shoes, which isn't out of the ordinary when it comes to homeless people. What is out of the ordinary is that his nails are pretty clean and his clothes, while they were old, were in the okay condition. Meaning there aren't any holes, rips, dirt or stains. It was like it was just bought at a thrift store.

       I begin walking with purpose in his direction, pretending not to notice him until I bump into him roughly. He loses his balance and falls on his knees as I turn in 'shock.' "Oh my goodness," I gasp. "I am so sorry." I reach down, my right-hand grabs his right arm as I help him off the ground. Discretely while doing this, I slide his sleeve up, getting a glimpse of a high tech watch. "You know, impersonating the homeless is really disrespectful."

       Not a second after that sentence falls from my lips, a gun is pulled out from the man's hoodie and he points it straight at me. Where from his hoodie? I don't fucking know. What I do know is that I was tracked by none other than the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

       S.H.I.E.L.D.

       I was tracked by S.H.I.E.L.D.

[jinxofthedesert]

Hi there! Annoying anon that loves rambling about the Valeska twins is here again 🤣 Let the discussion continue! 😂 Yeah, I totally get your point of writing such stories as a means of fulfilling wishes. I guess it makes sense from the writer's pov that they want to give these characters a different (better) treatment. Valid point, but still, they don't feel real to me.

(Below this is the rest of the messages, put together. Farther down, below the line, are my responses)

It's like I'm reading a story with a character that's called Jerome/Jeremiah Valeska and looks exactly like him, but it's not truly him (just like you said, at their cores they are bad guys). But it's perfectly understandable and all right that people want to give them a rest from their chaotic lives haha 😊 everybody’s got their cup of tea ☕

Damn, yes, these stories are so hard to find! I imagine that writing something of the sort and investing so much in such complex characters can be draining and daunting, so yeah I get the reason why there are not so many fics out there... and OCs are so difficult to write haha you are right. They take too much time and effort 🤣

Yeah, I guess Ecco was not the best example. It's very true what you say about Jeremiah's and Ecco's relationship. In the show it was portrayed as a professional one. So we don't really know if there's anything else beyond that, save for some level of concern. So I guess I should have gone with Bruce instead because, just like you said, Jeremiah went totally bonkers when he realized that Bruce was the only one who saw past his resemblance to Jerome.

Basically, what I was trying to say is that in these fics there's not really that same vibe of evil obsession and lunacy from the twin's side. Maybe just some sort of heightened jealousy when their partner is addressed by other characters, but not in a really "Valeska" way. In fact, it is also strange when Bruce is completely absent in these stories when the twins' obsession revolves around him.

Yeah, there is sooo much to explore, so that is why I am very curious to see how people construe their backgrounds, but usually it's just the repetition of the show with some added scenes and dialogues here and there 😅 I would love to see something a bit different, but well, I guess I am being very demanding 🤣 Don't worry about it and thanks so much for replying! 😘 I am now doing some research in different sites 🤣

It's a bit weird because even though I enjoyed the show, I have to say I merely watched it to see ma broski boys in action 🤣 so If I wasn't so lazy (and didn't have other unfinished projects) I would try to write something (my mind is already full of vague ideas OMGGG 😏🤔😂), but I don't really know much about other characters or subplots, so I would not be sure how to tackle it 🤔 Thanks again for the lovely discussion! 😊

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Hi anon! Don’t you worry about your rambles, they’re not at all annoying! I find it rather fun to discuss the twins. 

I’m sorry you’ve not been able to find the content you’re looking for; usually, I always run into comments on Tumblr or Pinterest about how you look for certain fics and when you can’t find them, then it’s time to try a hand at writing it yourself. I’ve done that and, even though I enjoy writing, it’s still pretty hard, especially to find a drive to do it when I really am not feeling it.  With the twins not feeling real, I understand, ‘course I now think I’m at the point where I might read anything if I’m gifted with more content lol (though there are some tags that, if I see them, I don’t touch if I can help it). 

I think, usually, with most writers, it’s easier to take a character like Jerome/Jeremiah and, instead of doing the tremendous work that comes with trying (emphasis trying) to change them, they do a few things and that’s enough for a road to recovery. Because, most of the time, they’re not writing to change the character, or even to make it realistic; sometimes they’re just writing, or they wanted to try a different aspect. There can be so many reasons and sometimes digging deep and getting a character 100% correct isn’t at the top of the list of what you want in that story. Personally, I’ve learned to broaden my sense of disbelief with characters and just enjoy what I manage to find, especially since the Gotham fic-oriented content is sooooo small 😢

After reading your last message, I actually went onto Ao3 and searched ‘character studies’ under the characters and yeah, there’s not much, I read a few and I honestly wasn’t sure what to think (not to call anyone out). It reminded me a lot of my years reading batjokes on fanfiction or, again, Ao3 where, if you search long enough, there’s a fic for almost all your needs. There have been some good gems in there that delve into character studies and helping these characters try and become better. Comparing that to Gotham’s arrangement of fics is sad, to say the least, but batjokes in all media have a lottttt of years to have such a collection of wonderful content. (Even if you’re only a Gotham fan, stretching out into the actual Batman fandom can be very rewarding, even if your next step is into the Nolan movies or even Batman in general cause you can replace the characters in your head if you really want too)  I think one big problem with Oc’s is that, in a way, they’re easy to make, but in the worst way. You can create a character to put in the place you want, a blank space and they’re just nothing. This comes up a lot in anime type works, where the main character is so blah for the purpose of the audience (reader in our other case) to put themselves in the place of the main character. This also happens in a lot of movies as well, instead of fleshing the character out and allowing them to move and breathe the way THEY would and not how the audience thinks they themselves would. Because of this, oc’s can be very flat. There are the exception, of course although I have no examples since I don’t remember the last Oc story I read . . .  *wracks brain* yeah no idea. Though I’m sure it’s somewhere in my saves.

Even if one doesn’t ship Jeremiah with Bruce, it’s very difficult to ignore/brush under the rug that there was definitely an obsession and that originally, during their weeks of spending time together, building the generator, there started a friendship. The first is very obvious, show-wise (and friendship kinda came with the territory) and the gay subtext can be there if you look at it that way. As much as an interesting character Ecco is, she’s both not important enough in the show (sorry Ecco lovers) or to Jeremiah or to anyone for that matter. While with Bruce and Jeremiah, with how their first meeting go’s and all the meetings that follow after (very willingly on Jeremiah’s part even though I’m sure before this NO ONE was allowed in the inner parts of his bunker for long periods. Probably not even Ecco) the relationship is much more pronounced than anything we’re given prior.  I like to think that even though Bruce was manipulating Jeremiah when they first met, he actually did see him as his own person. Even though he, like Jim and Harvey, have personally bore witness to Jerome’s tyranny. (And that only twists the knife harder when Jeremiah eventually loses his mind because both him and Jeremiah saw him as his own person and in a way Jeremiah doesn’t become like Jerome, he becomes worse)

One could argue that since we didn’t see a ‘true’ way the Valeska’s love that any type of them showing affection might never seem very Valeska. Unless one looks at their reactions and interactions with Bruce as something more than just ‘wanting to kill him’ or ‘obsession’. This would be another reason I’m don’t read much in the oc-area or out of the romantic’s lol mainly because the moment they take Bruce out of the picture, everything seems off. Jerome, while willing to divide his attention, only does it with specific people, who are: Jim, Bruce, Jeremiah, and, on occasion, Oswald (though he’s much less in comparison to the ‘big three’). Other then them, we don’t see him hyper-focus on anyone else in the show, and if he does, it’s for a second and to simply kill them after. If these three aren’t integral to his behavior and actions then things feel flat and out-right ignoring his obsession with Bruce and his inner darkness can be unrealistic. With Jeremiah, this is much worse because in canon, once No Man’s Land starts, all he can think about is Bruce. Everything he does in that setting and before this even started was for Bruce. This type of obsession is . . . well, something that can’t simply be ignored, it’s a big part of his character and also very integral to just who he is after the spray. It may not be as bad at the start of the spray (because he’s too busy rebuilding Gotham in his image) but literally second to that desire is his connection with Bruce. If there were a summary of Jeremiah as a character it would be IMPOSSIBLE to write it without Bruce (same with Jerome though his might be a footnote, depending). So him suddenly focusing on someone else is . . . odd (even with Jim he doesn’t give his full attention too and, in the finale, Jeremiah only starts moving around and doing shit when he realizes that Bruce has come home early and that it’s time to finally come back to the spotlight). Especially since he’s supposed to be the ‘Joker’ in the Gotham world, which, technically speaking, means this obsession with the Bat (a.k.a Bruce) will only ever get worse from here (not to mention the fact he knows Batman is Bruce because he remembers the prophecy Ra’s told him, which we’re shown in the finale when he first sees the Bat and comment’s ‘you’ in a knowing way; this can be argued he’s just recognizing that this is what the prophecy was talking about or that it’s Bruce but personally I think both cause the prophecy was about both of them.).

It’s hard not to repeat things in canon though, believe me, I know and if you ever try writing a time travel story, it’s much worse cause then you have to change literally everything if you’re doing it that way.  Nah, you know what you like; the only problem with that is it’ll be hard to find it most of the time. I wish you luck in searching! Hopefully, you’ll find something.

Same. My older brother introduced me to the show and his way of doing so was first telling me it was a batman show, that I would LOVE Oswald’s aesthetic and that there was a Joker-type character just introduced. I was sold lol. There’s been a lot of drama with the show though, concerning the twins and I honestly wish they’d just stuck with Jerome or if they did still use Jeremiah that he wasn't just . . . a backup plan for killing Jerome off. And, if they’d been allowed to go on for a few more seasons, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they would have also killed Jeremiah and a third (never heard of) Valeska twin (triplet) would show up, playing into the overall Joker lore about there having been three. 😒🤨😑 Which I find humorous because they did so well with Jerome, he was a well-rounded, fleshed out character and, as much as I love Jeremiah, it’s hard not to consider what we could have gotten if Jerome had lived *wistful sigh* I won’t lie that the drama hasn’t affected how I watch it too these days, or at least left me with a lasting impression.  I was very invested in the first few seasons, it was a good show, minus the plot-holes and annoying characters (yes, some annoy me and there are some I can’t stand) but when the twins were on screen, it was probably the show at its best. If they had implicated them more so into the main story I probably would have watched all the way to the end (I can admit, I’ve never seen season five, but I saw many clips, have been completely spoiled and DID watch the finale lol and . . . I think I saw some of season four? Maybe, not sure anymore.) because when they’re also interacting with Bruce, perfection. I could watch that shit for days. 

Also, if you did write it, it wouldn’t have to be about other characters if you don’t want it to be. You’re talking to me, who has never seen the last few seasons and when I wrote my first fic ‘Blindly Evident’ literally all my scenes I had to LOOK UP because I only knew the base of what the scene was even about lol. So sometimes, you can totally bullshit your way lol and somehow it turns out to be really good and you like it. Or it’s just snippets of small scenes with your characters (I’ve been writing a fic like that for awhile because it’s fun and easy and yet you can make it so thought provoking because these snippets are so smallll.) I would implore you to give it a go. Even if you have no idea what the other characters are doing or even what their names are. 

I feel like this has just become me rambling about Gotham and writing tips at this point lol but you’re welcome~ I am here to try and help and always willing to listen about Gotham and talk (or rant, I’m not picky lol). Thanks again for your ask, anon! Hope you find that content you’re looking for 🥰🧡💛