#is how i'll tag this and any more relevant posts

[requiemforthepoets]

you say good morning, when its midnight ⟢ OP81 (part 3)

main masterlist | fic playlist | series masterlist

PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader

SUMMARY: you and oscar grew up together, and despite being neighbors and best friends with her sister, hattie, you never really talked or had a conversation with him. until one day, where he randomly texted you out of nowhere.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: use of y/n, photos are all taken from pinterest, no consistent face claims, fluff, humor-ish, kind of a slow burn fic, inaccurate information, time and date stamps are not relevant, and minor typographical errors

WORD COUNT: none

AUTHOR'S NOTE: part 3! i'm really happy that you like this socmed au for oscar! 🥺 i hope that i'll be able to deliver updates that are up to standards. I'll try to incorporate everything, since tumblr has a limit of 30 photos only per post. taglist for this series is open. enjoy!

hattiepiastri posted in their story!

liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, yourmom, and others

oscarpiastri take good care of her

hattiepiastri ?????????

hattiepiastri isn't it supposed to be the other way around?????

oscarpiastri we both know that she's too soft for the chaos you bring

hattiepiastri excuse you???? fyi, remind me or not, i'm always gonna be protecting her

oscarpiastri 👍🏻

nicolepiastri oh my goodness, look at her! she's all grown up. i still remember when you two used to dress up and she would braid your hair

hattiepiastri i shed a little tear when i saw her again in person after so many years

nicolepiastri tell her i said hi, that i miss seeing her around and that she looks beautiful

nicolepiastri i'm so happy that you two are together again!

hattiepiastri will do mum. she says hi back.

hattiepiastri we're now in our bestie singapore honeymoon

yourmom oh my heart! she really made that sign? thank you for posting this, hattie. i might be crying in the kitchen now! 🤣

hattiepiastri she was literally bouncing the moment she saw me!

yourmom please tell her to call me when she settles you in

yourmom and while you're there, please make sure that she eats actual food and not just noodles and bubble teas

hattiepiastri promise!

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

hattiepiastri

📍Haji Lane, Singapore

liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, and 879 others

tagged: yn.jpg

hattiepiastri week into the bestie singapore honeymoon 🤩

view all comments

yn.jpg look at us, maximizing our joint slay 😮‍💨💖

hattiepiastri indeed 🤩

nicolepiastri you both look so wonderful! enjoy and take good care of her

oscarpiastri like i said hattiepiastri

hattiepiastri no need to tag me???? bc i can literally see the reply???????

yn.jpg 🔒

liked by oscarpiastri, yourmom, yourbrother, nicolepiastri, hattiepiastri, and 256 others

tagged: hattiepiastri

yn.jpg all the love, from singapore ♡

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yourmom why is it that you never smile? but the photos look very stunning, and you are stunning!

yn.jpg 🥺🥺🥺🥺

hattiepiastri i stand by my photography skills, should've watermarked these 😔💔

yn.jpg exquisite photography skills indeed! been staring at how good it is 🥹🤚🏻

nicolepiastri so gorgeous!

yn.jpg auntie! thank you so much, i miss you!

yourbrother ok, gotta admit that this photo of you looks cool af. but i miss the gremlin that i used to chase around the house with a nerf gun. bring her back 💔

yn.jpg you and your dramatic ass! 😭

oscarpiastri you do look different

oscarpiastri in a good way. (sorry, clicked the enter button accidentally)

oscarpiastri the not-smiling thing suits you more than it should

hattiepiastri mate, u good?????

oscarpiastri what? am i not allowed to say that she looks nice?

yourbrother i will die on this hill

yn.jpg okay wow 😭 was not expecting a full family panel in the replies. love u all, but can u all pls calm down? 😭

nathanleong these were worth the wait 😮‍💨

yn.jpg 😂😂😂😂

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

hattiepiastri posted in their story!

liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, and 23 others

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

𓆉𓆝𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓇼

hattiepiastri

liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, yourmom, nicolepiastri, and 457 others

tagged: yn.jpg

hattiepiastri singaporean nightlife. i'm in love 💖

taglist: @uuoozzii , @freyathehuntress , @littlemisskavities , @elieanana , @rexit-mo , @imagine-it-was-us , @satorinnie , @pessismisticpotato , @milkysoop , @random-movie , @supersanelyromantic , @greantii , @chirpchirp69 , @purplephantomwolf , @mimisweetz , @frogiemushr0om , @angxedxtz , @hevzo8 , @pandora108 , @ms-darcy23 , @sluttybitch , @proudshinsoukinnie , @pinklemonade34 , @gemi-boi , @elizamoe133 , @sideboobrry11 , @mrrayjay , @curlylando , @soleilgrec , @nothingjustaninchidentt , @suns3treading , @dramallama9 , @1-queenofpotatoes-1 , @suibianupyourass , @armystay89 , @verstappen-leclerc-inchident , @landossainz , @martygraciesversion381 , @larkkyoris

[absolutebl]

To my noble ABL, 🙇

Since you brought up the subject yourself, and I couldn’t find the relevant info in your tags, I’d like to request your advice. You see, I’m on social welfare, love BLs/QLs/GLs as much as the next person but I don’t have an enormous budget. So getting a premium on all streaming services (Gaga, WeTv, iQIYI, Viu, etc.) is definitely out of my reach. But could you maybe briefly xplain what services there are, whether they’re free and (most importantly) which one is most worth a paid subscription?

Thank you so much in advance.

Yours truly,

— Thel. 💚

P.S. I promise I’ll like and reblog your advice once you’ve published it! 🙏

Okay so I did a deep dive statistical analysis a while ago (which streaming service is worth your money on strictly BL grounds) and that is here:

I go into who has what, how much, and quality of subs. I'll repost and tag you. I also go an a huge rant about rewarding content providers so there's that too.

Since then iQIYI has come up a lot in terms of squatting content, but I still feel like they are one of the worst user experiences (I mean I pay and they still serve ads? that's bull) and most dangerous in terms of data mining and parent company. So be on your guard with both them and WeTV. It's why I'm unsure about upgrading my WeTV.

Since you specifically requested low income advice here it is:

YouTube. It's free, a lot of the Thai stuff is there, or airs there first. My advice is SUBSCRIBE to the channels that host the content and then use your Subscribe tab as a feed. Also like and comment on the videos. You are getting this, essentially, for free (you will need to sit through ads) but please be generous and give back to the content creators/channels. Especially the small ones like Strongberry. The kindest thing you can do as a consumer is subscribe, like, comment. ALSO this will train the algos, so when new (smaller) channels come along with obscure BL the algos will know what you like and recommend it to you. (Even grey stuff, although that won't last on an upload for very long. So that's my other tip, watch ASAP.) If you need to create a second/dummy gmail/google account for this (anonymity), then do that. Just use a different browser for all your BL content. A VPN can help with this. For example a lot of the GMMTV shows that are now on iQIYI in the USA are on their YT channel in Europe (or Thailand of course), to you just need to set your VPN to a different location, and can watch them on YT.

Subscription services with free content options like Viki or WeTV. Last I checked quite a few of the older BLs on Viki were available without a PAID subscription (this might have changed) same with WeTV. You need to sit through ads, but there are some shows there.

Gagaoolala paid. If you are going to pay for any streaming service I always suggest this one. Not only are they the cheapest of the bunch (and there is only the one level of money which is something like $6.99 a month), they have a lot of older prestige and more obscure content and they are queer focused. This is a Taiwanese platform and I like and support everything about it. Which I don't say about many streaming services. If you have a fixed income and limited budget then being thoughtful with your money is often difficult, Gaga allows for both.

After that, the others are all pretty similar in terms of cost to content value. That blog post above does go into your grey and less savory options. Since I rarely consume free (savory or not) I can't really speak to the situation right now.

Time once was the only way to get things was grey or fansubbed and so then I felt better about doing it, but now almost every new piece (even from Japan) has some kind of distribution deal with some streaming platform.

You have another option which is to wait until most of the shows you want to watch have finished their runs and then subscribe for only a month or two, binge everything, and then unsubscribe.

Generally the slow season in BL is end of the year. So if you have some time in December -February, this would be the time of year to do that. (Most of the major shows are done and no new ones have started up.)

I hope this helps.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[teufelme]

You ever just want to talk about Bertl,

[iwakuraz]

new oc!!!!! again

[destinationtoast]

Bluesky & fandom education data

I'm on bsky now. I'm mildly active on Bluesky now (or "bisky" as I say it in my head thanks to the urls) at destinationtoast.bsky.social. Mostly meaning I'll be crossposting my more major fandom stats there and responding to being tagged, as I used to do on Twitter.

How educated is fandom? I just got tagged in a thread asking if I knew of any data about fandom education levels:

#FanStudies folks, I'm looking for information on educational attainment in fandom, particularly adult fans (≥25 yo). I've been through the Ao3 2013 & 2024 surveys; Fansplaining 2019 shipping & Overflow survey. No ?. I know acafans are a thing, but not numbers. Any suggestions?

— Justine Debelius (@jwoodelius.bsky.social) December 1, 2024 at 12:14 PM

I don't know any relevant research. If you do, please share!

For the heck of it, let's run an unscientific poll here, because everyone loves polls. Sorry for any US-centric terminology; I modified the categories from the US census but tried to internationalize.

(For those of you currently working on degrees, I salute you and wish you the best! 🫡 )

[sharffffff]

Pili 2 didn't deserve this - but also did, an analysis

Preface before I get too deep into this: I haven't rewatched any of the Pangi vods (except pangkey moments for research but it isn't relevant) in a bit, so some of the facts can be not exactly accurate and feel free to call me out in the tags, however I try to keep everything laid out plainly. If this isn't obvious, this is from a pov of a Pangi viewer - if Pili has specified something different in his streams, I won't know it, and feel free to tell me about it and I'll try to correct it.

Now to the topic of the post: there is an insane amount of mischaracterization surrounding Pili 2, which leads to the character hate he doesn't deserve. If you want to hate the character, do it for the actions he has actually done, or for the fact that you don't like split personality trope, or anything else - but don't attribute actions done by another character to him.

If you look into the history of the relationship between Pangi and Pili 2 (and 1.5, but we will get into it later), Pangi certainly instigated it at the start. The accusations of Pili 2 being a person he had no recollections of, the stalking to try and catch him in on the lie, the obsession Pangi had with him for around a week - from Pili 2's pov, they were completely unjustifiable, and so he decided to be cold and distant to Pangi as well, until eventually Pangi left him alone - and everything could've been solved here, if it wasn't for the Pili 1 book.

Here's the first and one of the only two (two and a half? three?) cases where Pili 2 has done something especially bad towards Pangi - ripping out the last two pages of the book, but in his own eyes, it was protecting his own skin, and he expected to die for this - and he did, first by Pangi, who was justifiably angry, and then resetting himself to start on 3 lives again. This was the one death to Pangi that in the eyes of Pili 2 was justified - he expected it, it came, everything was fine.

After that, Pangi tried distancing himself from Pili 2 as much as possible, and while Pili 2 himself still sometimes came along to be annoying to Pangi, it was minimal. Until the first appearance of Pili 1.5 - in the shape of the signs filling up Pangi's entire house. We know it's Pili 1.5 because Pili 2 didn't remember it - and also because the signs were clearly referencing Mocha. But they drove Pangi angry, and made him think that Pili 2 was lying, was stalking him, was being obsessive - and from Pangi's eyes he was, because Pangi didn't know (and tbh still doesn't know, somehow, my streamer is stupid forgive him) that Pili 1.5, or Mocha possessing Pili 2, is a thing.

Pili 2 still kept being annoying to Pangi, yes, but it was only fueled by Pangi accusing him of things he has never done, and it culminated in Pili 2 stealing armor set Pangi got for Jonnay (it took so long to find that alt vod to confirm that reverb was on so it was actually Pili 2 and not Mocha), which resulted in Pangi blowing up Pili's base, and Pili stealing Pedro.

Pangi was justifiably murderous after that, but then Pili gave Pedro back, and they talked, and then they decided to leave bygones be bygones, start from a clean slate and just keep their distance so nothing more happens between them.

And that's when the cracks start to show, where the perspectives of Pili 2 and Pangi differ significantly. Very significantly, one might say.

Because from Pangi's perspective, instead of leaving him alone, Pili starts hounding him, hounding his friends, first trying to kill them and then asking them out, starts consistently psychologically torturing him and just won't die no matter how many times he is killed. He does everything in his power to make Pangi's life as miserable as possible, and even tells so to his face - and tells him that yeah, he did place the signs, yeah, he is still here, yeah, he will torture him, will kill Lukey just to hurt him, will make his experience on this server living hell - and it drives Pangi insane, drives him to kill him over and over to make sure he leaves him alone - and he never, never does. So from Pangi's point of view, all those kills on Pili are justified - in an environment he came from, kills are a valid reply to psychological torture.

But then we have Pili 2's perspective, where he does nothing of what was listed. Yes, he asks Lukey out and forms a relationship with him, inviting him to the ball just to have fun - and then retracting that invite when Lukey rejects him and Pangi confronts him. He never did it to make Pangi jealous, he just wanted to have fun with Lukey. And then he also asks Zam out - not caring that he's Pangi's friend, just wanting, again, to spend great time with his friend. And he is killed for doing nothing, killed by this obsessive, murderous person who seems to just hate him for things he did ages ago, saying he did things he never actually did. Yes, there is suspicion about those things actually happening, as multiple people have told him he did them, but he doesn't remember them - and while he suspects what might be the cause, in his eyes he is innocent, in his eyes he doesn't deserve any of those deaths except the very first one. In his eyes, first Pangi promised to let him be, and then ruined his entire life.

And that's where Pili 1.5 comes in. He was the one doing every terrible thing that Pangi described, he was the one hunting down Lukey and trying to kill him over and over again. He was the one harassing and manipulating Pangi - Pili 2 never did that. Well, maybe he did a little bit of manipulation, but who hasn't. Pili 1.5 has done so, so much more. And in most cases it's easy to miss - the only change is that his voice changer is gone, his reverb is off, and, of course, the personality shift. Pili 1.5 does the things, but Pili 2 suffers the consequences - and doesn't know why. Pili 1.5 is the one who keeps prolonging the cycle of violence, and Pangi takes the bait every time. It was Pili 1.5 who made Pangi thing that Pili 2 was taking Zam to the ball just to make Pangi feel awful - because Pili 1.5 specifically mocked him, said that he would make the ball extremely miserable for Pangi - but Pili 2 never intended it this way.

And this is the exact reason why from Pangi's point of view, every death, every bit of violence, everything he ever done to Pili 2 was justified - but also why Pili 2 didn't lie when he said Pangi did it for no reason. Because he did do it for no reason - it wasn't Pili 2 who was torturing him, it was Mocha possessing his body.

And if this trend continues, if Pili 3 really is Pili 1 with memories of both of his installments, Pangi will suffer even more. Because it will be even more of Pili 1.5, with none of Pili 2 to counteract it. And god knows I will suffer from it. But while I can't defend Pili 1.5, I will be Pili 2 defender. My boy did barely anything wrong and suffered so much for it. Too bad he had to suffer the consequences for action committed by a different person. But also I despise split personality trope with all my being so I'm glad Pili 2 is dead.

[4dkellysworld]

After deciding 'it is done'

This is more of a manifestation themed post (it's a draft from March when I spontaneously felt like writing it but didn't post it) because I felt like it but I'd appreciate if I didn't get any asks about manifestation* (unless I change my mind later) cos I'll share what I can and there's a lot of material available already! You can see my past post on this topic here. For more posts on it, see @4dbarbie-archive and realisophie's posts here and here and there's also some over at @ndjournal in the experience sharing tag.

*Also because I don't want to send mixed messages to the readers of this blog. I see conscious manifestation as a way to challenge & break limitations and concepts from the mind, not to get things in the world (kinda like Neo learning to bend the spoon in the Matrix if you get me lol). The latter will only pull you deeper into ego and the world, which isn't conducive to self-realization (if that's your goal) if you're focused on satisfying ego and the worldly life. If that makes sense and you resonate and agree with that, then we are on the same page but not everyone is and that's okay too, just do what feels right to you. Just sharing my reasoning :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been reading this book called Parallel Universes of Self because I read the author Frederick Dodson had an interesting reality shifting experience. I didn't expect to read info on manifestation but they are pretty much the same. I have a few books of his that I'm skimming through out of curiosity and there's some interesting stuff (I might share some other things later, he doesn't just talk about manifestation, but also consciousness, reality and even non-duality).

I thought I'd share the below excerpt because it's explained really well and might help some others. It's also a nice succinct summary of what Ada and Soph talked about for materialization/manifestation as well. I can remember pretty much 95% of the things I've ever "manifested" were from when I acted the way he described after I had decided "it is done". It's easier to do this for things you don't care about because you just end up forgetting about it entirely and then it shows up and you're like 'oh yeah!! nice'.

In the hours, days and weeks after simply rest in the new viewpoint, rest in the fulfilled reality. This means that you don’t try to “make it happen” because you have already claimed it as real. You don’t affirm, visualize, repeat or wait for it. You don’t hope for it to come in some future. Because you have claimed it as already real you don’t even think about it much either. You don’t ask when, how, where it will show up. Instead you simply do what offers itself to you throughout the day, and this will involve commonplace activities. Daily life continues in a natural manner without neediness or lack. Once in awhile you may want to re-feel the body sense of the chosen reality, and enjoy what you have claimed as true, but often not even that is necessary. Furthermore you needn’t be “acting as if” the desired reality is manifest, for that still implies separation. Simply cease to behave in a way that presupposes that it is not already so. You may refuse to ascribe relevance or importance to any events that seem to contradict your newly chosen reality. From the new viewpoint such events may still exist and come up but they are no longer relevant enough to be reacted to and interacted with. They may be the way things are at the moment, but they are no longer the way you are. The corresponding physical manifestation will appear when you stop needing it, chasing after it, looking for it but are instead willingly and lovingly identified with it…not for the sake of “making it manifest” *, but for the sake of experiencing its joy in the here, now and today. *Because trying to make it happen/manifest reinforces the idea/belief that it isn't

This is the same as what 4dbarbie said about getting ego out of the way or as Lester Levenson said, let go and let God. Just let it happen and stop trying to control the process because the more you try, the more you reinforce the fact that it isn't already so. Basically stop putting in effort once you know it is true, just continue knowing with calm and ease that it is the way you want it. Ada also said here:

If you have thoughts like "I need to say my affirmations", "I need to check my state", you're not living in the end but still desiring. When you're able to look at the thing you desire as being something that was once a dream, but now only a memory - you've entered the state of the wish fulfilled. When desire turns into identity, you know you've succeeded in fulfilling yourself.

Yes we're conditioned to think we need to work hard and put effort to earn things in the world but when it comes to manifesting, this sort of mentality will only sabotage and hinder your success. You can literally just decide you have it and then never look back. This sort of mindset can take a bit of time and practice to get used to because it is not something we're used to but the more you practice, the easier it gets.

Here is an excerpt from an astral projection book (I think it's from The Illusion of Method?) I thought was really apt at describing this too. He's talking about AP but you can apply it to manifesting or pretty much anything as well.

Unless you are masochistic, I ask you to reconsider the painful idea of obsessing about time. Bear in mind that results will come whenever they have to, and counting the minutes won't make the outcome arrive faster. It's best if you just forget about it, and accept that it is something that you can't control. You must be patient—most of the time the desired results arrive immediately after giving up control of time. If you are frustrated and/or are afraid of failure, then it means you believe you are in control—and this translates into the feeling that you are responsible for both positive and negative results. Well then, stop thinking that way! Exempting yourself from responsibility is the best course of action there is. As seen in the previous chapter, those who project on command are the ones who couldn’t care less about AP. But the more you obfuscate yourself, the lesser your chances of success —and trust me, you won’t want to get trapped in that vicious cycle. Astral projection works when you stop worrying about failure because you trust that it will happen, whether you “do” something or not.

It’s the same thing: just in the same way that being hasty for sleep to occur keeps us wakeful and alert, being expectant over the OBE will keep us caged in the physical body. If the mind is constantly thinking about the goal, it can easily enter a state of expectancy* and impatience. In such state, the mind is no longer relaxed because expectancy is a state of unrest. This form of tension is what hinders the outcome—thus, the key to being relaxed (i.e., essentially lacking mental tension) is to forget about the goal entirely. If you don’t have the goal in mind you don’t enter a state of expectancy, and therefore you are free from mental tension. *expectancy is the same energy as trying to make something happen.. reinforcing the idea/belief that it isn't so

So, exempt yourself from responsibility means there's nothing more to do because ego is not in control and can do nothing.

[mirchloe]

#psychonautssecretsanta2024

ho ho ho! it's the middle of november! that means, once again, it's time for the secret santa! last year went off without a hitch (if you just ignore how my main was shadowbanned for sending out the giftee assignments, which caused me to finally make a side blog lol), so i'm back once again with this event i've happily hosted since 2016.

hate to beat a dead horse because this is the same shtick as last year and the year prior, but i'll be tremendously busy in december. i will be more hands off and ask that all participants follow the timeline. without further ado, here's the timeline along with the rules!

TIMELINE

the application will be open from 11/15/24 starting at 4:00 P.M. PST and close on 11/25/24 at 11:59 P.M. PST. if you miss the sign up period, please message me immediately because i will begin pairing people up promptly.

between 11/27/24 through 11/29/24, i will send out giftee information to the account/username (twitter or tumblr only) that was provided, so please keep your eye on your dms. if i can’t reach you on tumblr, i’ll send an ask asking you to open your messages to everyone. that way, i can pass along your giftee to you.

as always, 12/15/24 is the check-in day. i will be going around messaging people asking for progress updates. this doesn’t have any specification as people work differently, so if you haven’t started, that’s also fine. it just helps me know where people are in their progress, or if they might need an extension. if you want to reach out first, that helps me mark you down faster!

speaking of extensions, please let me know before 12/22/24 if you will need an extension. life happens, and i know that from experience, so don’t hesitate to reach out. also, if you believe you’ll need to drop out, please let me know before 12/22/24 as well, so that i can find another santa for your giftee. you will still receive your gift!

gifts are due between 12/24/24 through 12/28/24. please tag your giftee, and use the hashtag psychonautssecretsanta2024, so that i can keep track of who posted. (of course, in addition, you can always use the relevant game, character, and pairing tags!) i’m very excited to see what everyone will create!

for those who asked for extensions, and for the santas who took on an extra gift if someone dropped, those gifts are due between 1/4/25 through 1/8/25.

RULES

adult/minor pairings and incestuous pairings are not allowed. requesting them in your application will result in you being removed from the event entirely.

keep your content PG-13/keep the t rating of psychonauts in mind. nsfw material is not allowed in order to be inclusive to everyone. to clarify, please do not request nsfw material that is graphically sexual or violent in nature.

be respectful of your giftee’s wish list, and do not share them. over the years, i have mostly partnered people based on similar interests in characters, pairings, etc., but there will always be different interpretations of aforementioned characters, pairings, etc.

i mentioned it in the above form, but please don’t give me any usernames that are for ao3 or discord to prevent any confusion. this event is also NOT associated with any personal secret santa events on any discord. this is strictly for tumblr (and maybe twitter).

not really a rule, but any received questions about the event will be answered and added to the reply section.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

perhaps a bit of an odd question: so, when I'm scrolling tumblr on mobile, I have a habit of downloading most images i come across, so that I can send them to people who don't use tumblr, especially memes and animal photos. however, i also have severe memory issues, and I may end up forgetting where i got certain images. i know for the photo repository one of the rules is to not repost the photos without any modification- which i might forget, or forget which images on my phone fall under that rule. and while i would guess that that rule doesn't apply to stuff like direct messages or texts, i might forget to tell the person I'm sending it to, who might repost it elsewhere without being aware, or months after downloading i will just forget and use one of the photos in a post I'm making because it felt relevant.

this is something i can pretty easily solve myself by just blocking the photo repository blog, or tags relating to it, but I'd rather not do that because i do really like seeing the photos and all the info and stuff. and i would assume it would be an insane amount of work for you to add something like a watermark to every single photo, so I'm not really sure how to go about this. i like seeing the photos, but i don't want to accidentally break the rules.

You clearly care deeply about doing the "right thing", so, what that tells me is that you're not actually the target audience for that rule. I appreciate all the thought you put into this message. Let's talk about it!

I've been reconsidering if requiring people to get permission for reposting images is the best policy to have and I'd like people to weigh in.

My original reasoning was this: the more I can ensure that reposts are affiliated with credit, the better I can control copyright on the images on the site, and therefore have more ground to challenge any scrapers/fake accounts/AR groups that yoink them for nefarious purposes. The easiest way to do that seemed to be to have people ping and ask, with the expectation of saying yes almost all the time.

But there's a couple problems with that, I think, in practice:

People don't like emailing strangers (I forget this! I have done it for work for so many years it isn't uncomfortable anymore).

This isn't how the internet works. (Tumblr has a specific microculture that encourages crediting creators and not stealing! Once this is shared more widely on other platforms, I don't expect it'll be the same ecosystem).

It actually undermines organic spread of content! (You're less likely to make an excited post about a cool photo if you have to send a maybe-scary email and wait for a response). And I do want there to be lots of eyeballs on the photos.

Realistically, @nexus-nebulae, with the policy right now? If you slipped up and reposted something without thinking, I'd just ask you to add credit to the post so it directs back to the site. The goal of this whole project is community access and engagement - I want to you to enjoy the photos, and send them to your friends! I'm just trying to also protect it from the awful that a lot of the internet has become.

But, I'm also wondering it it makes sense to swap the policy to say that it's fine to re-post images on socials as long as they're appropriately credited and/or linked back to the repository. This isn't the policy yet, but if you're reading this please tell me what you're thinking.

Non-edited image use (like putting them in a scientific paper, using them to build a curriculum unit, or putting them on board game cards - these are just random examples) would still need to be requested; but that's an entirely protective stance and if you ask, my goal is to always say yes.

So OP, please don't worry too much. Enjoy looking at the animals, do your best, and I'll be happy. :)

[babacontainsmultitudes]

🤔 Admittedly I was a little disappointed by the reveal (but certainly not surprised the foreshadowing was heavy in this episode lol), but not actually against how Beth (and Will) seem to be playing with it thus far- which is to say that I do think it has a lot of potential, and I suspect there's more to what we're seeing).

;) Big ol' ramble below

Mostly the theory has turned me off until now (at least insofar as I've witnessed it transpire in the fandom at large) because it struck me as so painfully ironic to see Trudy, a 1950s housewife, struggle to exist under the system that she's in, fail to fit the mold assigned to her, and be denied her personhood very literally for it (this being ironic insofar as how it mimics how she would have been treated back then). This and because frankly I just think she's a lot less interesting if she's fully a robot LOL, but I'll hopefully get to that in a bit.

Not that the hints at her mechanical nature and the relevance of Tucker's background were lost on me; I can appreciate why those would contribute to a plausible, fun and I think still mostly harmless theory (now fact). However, minus one or two specific posts I've seen on the matter (namely a recent one suggesting that if Trudy is a robot Beth is probably taking inspiration from The Stepford Wives, :( sorry person who made that post I couldn't find it I wanted to credit yoouuu), I've seen the theory just about exclusively presented in a manner that, rather than explore the metaphorical and political significance of Trudy being partially or fully mechanical, at best disregards the parts of her narrative that are at their core about sexism (among other related things), and at worst negates them entirely (i.e. Trudy only thinking and acting how she does because she's a robot malfunctioning and not because the world itself is causing harm and she rightfully wants something more than the role she was forced into, Trudy not even having any real thoughts and feelings of her own, etc.). I just think it kind of sucks to shove all those important things about her aside and say "actually, there's no person suffering here, she's just a robot" and perhaps worse yet to imply that she does have thoughts and feelings but because they result in Weird™ behavior it must be a problem with her code and not at all relate to what women were subjugated to during this point in American history.

CONVERSELY I don't think Trudy being a robot (or at least partially one) at least from what Beth and Will have presented us thus far, inherently suffers from any of these issues? First and foremost because Trudy definitely appears to possess sentience, thoughts, and emotions of her own, matters which immediately complicate her degree of personhood and don't inherently box her behavior in as a bug in her programming rather than an issue with the world she's been put in, quite the opposite in fact! I think they have a very solid groundwork laid out here to make a strong statement with Trudy's narrative (and perhaps ask the question of what is really malfunctioning here), all the more so since [I pull out a Rebecca Swallows-style conspiracy board] I don't think she's entirely robotic in nature? Actually you should just read Mack's tags in this post cause he has great thoughts on the matter (of which those are just some of them), but if I can direct your attention to one thing in particular, it would be Beth's fact (I *believe* from episode 2) about Trudy never graduating high school because of her essay where she suggested that "perhaps women could one day domesticate themselves", a statement that could of course be interpreted a number of ways but ultimately threatened the patriarchal status quo enough (in suggesting women's independence) to cost Trudy her diploma. Taken on its own this fact appears to contradict the theory that Trudy has always been robotic in nature, because it doesn't really make sense that Trudy would have been set up to go through high school (or school at all really) when Tucker's intention was/is for her to be the perfect housewife. You may then suggest that Trudy's memories of this are fabricated and not actually her lived experiences, in which case firstly perhaps you should reread my earlier point on the robot theory being used to actively negate and otherwise disregard the portions of Trudy's narrative that pertain to sexism and feminism, and secondly it really doesn't make any sense to me that Tucker would implant those kind of memories into Trudy's brain? To be completely honest if she's been a robot from the very beginning (rather than someone who became a cyborg, which is what I'm trying to suggest here), then I don't see why Tucker would program her with actual sentience in the first place (suspending my disbelief here with regards to the possibility of programming sentience to begin with). It seems much more likely to me then that Trudy was not always a robot, and instead altered by Tucker to force her into a role of subordination and remedy her """imperfections""". This option is significantly more interesting to me one, because it implies that Trudy has actually lived a life up until the present, full of its own complexities and strife (and dreams, and real actual memories worth exploring, etc.), and hence is not by any means "just a robot", and second because it amplifies the hypothetical statement being made on the lives of the real living women of the era and how they were treated and seen as being "in need of fixing" for not conforming to gender roles or otherwise acting "out of line" with what was expected of them.

OKAY THIS GOT OUT OF HAND SO I'M CUTTING MYSELF OFF HERE but I wanted to my share my current thoughts what with this ending and where I'm at so hopefully that was at least interesting to whoever has chosen to read through this one okay thank you byyyyyyyyye~

[spencewalterreid]

bowie's boykisser bonanza

(the master list of my works and recommendations)

☆ my other accounts

@castielhoney. destiel/spn, main account, catch-all for politics or shitposts sometimes

@elliesevileye. ellie williams/abby anderson/tlou, billie eilish sometimes

☆ my tags

all of my original posts will be tagged with either #bowie's yaps (for updates on fics or addressing one of yall) or #bowie's boykisser bonanza. From here on out (02.13.25) I am going to do my best to remember to tag my reblogged fics with #bowie's recs, but don't hold me to it. sincerest apologies if I forget!

☆ one shots

In The Morning I'll Make Cereal: the one where professor reid sees your self-harm scars and wants to know more. PG, platonic.

If I Love You Was A Promise: the one where you have a meltdown and reid stays over to keep you company. PG, platonic.

The Red Means I Love You: the one where we revisit s12 e22: red light, but less... murdery. the first three times you thought: I wonder just how red I could make you. TV-14, fade to black smut.

Don't Call Me Dude: the one where reid takes home a new toy and wants you to try it out with him. TV-MA, smutty smut smut. straight filth

V-day Bouquet: the one where Spencer is in your apartment complex and you buy him a bouquet and chocolate on a whim. fluff, fade to black smut if you squint

☆ series

Neurotech: the one where Agent Jenna Connell (oc) and Reid spearhead an investigation into a pharmaceutical company whose clients are turning up dead

Preacher's Daughter: The one where Ethel Cain grew up with Spencer Reid.

PLEASE read the warnings/disclaimers on the PD masterlist if you're going to read all the way through. It starts out more on the tame side but gets darker as the fic goes on.

☆ my art

boy? consider him KISSED. coloured pencil on mixed media paper.

wip 1 and 2 of the oil painting i'm currently working on

not boykissing but rather girlkissing. i am a man of multitudes. from my brain of a girl I am hopelessly in love with

poem empathizing with cat adams idk if this counts as art but... ?

☆personal notes

Me<3

My name is Beau or Bowie, either is perfectly fine, pick your favourite. I use he/him pronouns. Majoritively write for Spencer, but if a request came in for a different character, I might see about it.

Requests are always welcome!! I love seeing y'all's ideas and am more than happy to oblige, BUT!

There are certain characters I will not write for at all, and some there are limitations on. I will not. Will NOT. ever write a hotchxreader. There are lots and lots of others who write great fics about that, but hotch just puts me off and always has, so I'm not down for that. However, he might appear in plot-relevant fics sometimes.

There isn't really any*thing* I won't write for. Pretty open as far as smut goes, same for angst, and fluff is anything goes.

My DMs are always always open!!!

Hit me up anytime. I'd love to listen to you vent, or hear about something cool that happened, or anything of the like. If you aren't up for that, anons are open for the very same:) to be honest it's kinda my dream to have regular anons so PLEASE hit me up it'll make my year

☆ recs

literally all of the bandages universe: @nereidprinc3ss. i binged it so quick. just flirty reader making spencer nervous for like. a bajillion words.

Covetous Cravings: @burymagdalene. the one where coitus takes place on Spencer's pretty Persian rug

Bad Day: @g4rvez-r3id. the one where you come home from a really bad day and your boyfriend, Spencer is there to save the day… and hold you while you cry.

CLASSIFIED: @ovrgrwnivy. the one where a sleepy morning turns into spencer falling over himself to get to work on time, forgetting his badge behind him.

Red Is Your Color: @esote-rika. the one where you send reid a scandalous christmas-themed photo and he Does Something about it.

@minswriting. the one where you use a vibrator on reid

And they were roommates: @rainydayathogwarts. the one with 0-boundary roomates.

Don't Call Me: @reiderwriter. the one where spencer keeps your cheating ex on the phone while participating in coitus

apparent loss or modification of information: @luveline. the one where reid doesn't remember you but he still has a crush.

[dropoutconfessions]

Rules and other notices

Only send asks on anon, it's how confessions work, but I won't stop you from adding your name. I'll dm you to verify that you did want your name attached if so.

No racism, homophobia, ableism, etc etc any bigotry, this is a place of honor and decency

NSFW asks are fine with me, as long as they aren't overly para-social, this is a place of dishonor and indecency. To clarify, you can be weirder about Dimension 20 or VIP characters than you can be about real people

Keep things focused on the shows. The casts' personal life is a no go unless discussed on camera. Please include where it was mentioned so I don't have to scrub an entire episode to verify it.

Feel free to respond to other asks, this is a community, it exists for discussions.

Tagging System

#important notices - This is where rule updates and other notices will be posted. I will also update the pinned post when relevant.

#not an ask - It's a tumblr gimmick blog, but I will talk sometimes.

#ask - self explanatory

#nsfw - self explanatory

#negative dropout confession - negative ask, check update for more explanation

i will also be tagging relevant characters, shows, and names

[lottielovelace]

công chúa

(ghost x könig's-sister!reader)

summary: You're just a student trying to make through med school with your sanity intact. That last thing you needed was to be kidnapped to serve as a hostage for a half-brother you've never met.

At least the special forces operative here to help is cute.

originally posted on ao3 (wordcount: 3.8k)

Rating: T

Relationships: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader, Kate Laswell x her wife (I call her Jean), König & Reader <- PLATONIC

Ao3 Tags: meet cute! in a prison camp / First Meetings / tries to follow canon characterization / less so canon events/timeline / so some things (like the villains) are VERY vague / Past Suicide Attempt / Undercover Simon "Ghost" Riley / Unmasked Simon "Ghost" Riley / (Temporarily) / reader has a name & backstory but I tried to make it unobtrusive

this is a part of a series

Author's note: I do write this story with a specific OC (check the series masterpost if you want a full breakdown of her) in mind just so characterization is consistent, but I tried to make it possible for you to replace her with whoever you imagine. I do have to explicitly mention details unique to the OC (most obvious example here being her ethnicity and name [Elise Veidt]), but for the most part I'll try to keep things open ended (ex: using "your hair" instead of "your dark hair").

Also, as I mentioned, the OC's ethnicity (half-Vietnamese) is pretty plot relevant this chapter, but if that disrupts your reading flow, feel free to mentally replace it with whatever makes sense for your own personal read-through. I'm not used to writing in second person, so the verb tenses are kinda screwy.

Also this is in the tags but TW: DISCUSSION OF A PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT (character has for the most part fully recovered)

công chúa:

People could be so fucking stupid sometimes. Bold and stupid. Newbies especially. New recruits—or in this case, new criminal organizations—always think they’ll be special. The exception to the rule.

Take for example, this new group who had the bloody brilliant idea of trying to control special forces (and a handful of top PMCs) by kidnapping anyone ransom-worthy they could get their grubby little hands on. Which meant a lot of missing parents, kid siblings, and SOs.

Ghost couldn’t tell if they actually thought that would work or if this was just some distraction. Perhaps an intimidation ploy or a small part of some greater plan. Either way, in reality, all they ended up with was a whole bunch of pissed-off—and very well trained—soldiers, many of whom were willing to do anything to get their loved ones back. Even allying with their greatest rivals. Ghost didn’t predict to end up working with KorTac of all bedfellows, but even their lads weren’t safe. 

In the past month, he'd had to bear witness to his comrades and competitors getting wrecked, worried sick over their nearest and dearest. Laswell might’ve single-handedly revived the tobacco industry and he’d never seen Johnny so torn up.

Ghost himself had been spared any grief. He would’ve liked to pretend that it was because his mask had protected his identity so well, but the reality was much simpler and bleaker. He had nobody to take. Tommy and Joseph and Beth and Mum were all already six feet under. Nothing would ever change that.

That being said, the mask wasn’t useless.

The hostagers had done extensive research into all their personal lives. They needed to in order to find out who they could kidnap and how. They had become intimately familiar with every combatant their cobbled alliance could send—with one glaring exception.

They certainly knew about Ghost, but not even they knew Ghost’s face—at least according to the dossier smuggled to the Task Force.

After that was discovered, going undercover was less of a choice and more of a duty.

----------

“Jean?”

The woman’s head jerked up at the whispered sound of her name. Finding no one in front of her, she swiveled. Her eyes landed on an idle balaclava-ed guard.

“Don’t look at me,” the guard commanded. He followed his own advice, keeping his gaze trained on the horizon. His voice was low and rough. Familiar.

Jean Laswell hazarded one last glance at him. She squinted, trying to place where she'd seen him before.

A stifled gasp rang out as her eyes widened in recognition.

“Ghost?”

“Keep your voice down, I’m undercover.”

Jean tried to keep her body language innocuous, eyes now glued to her own clasped hands. The last thing she wanted was to blow Ghost's cover.

“It’s good to see your face— or er, hear your voice.” Pleasantries aside, she went straight to the first question on her mind, the one that had plagued her sleepless nights. “How’s Kate?”

"Smoking like a chimney, but otherwise holding up. She misses you."

"Are you here to…"

"Not yet. KorTac and the team are planning a mutual offensive, but we need more intel before exfil becomes viable. Intel I was tasked with collecting."

His tone didn't reassure her.

"But…"

"I ran into a little roadblock. I was supposed to receive, memorize, and orally deliver crucial information about the compound’s layout and security flaws. We’d had some limited online communication with our informant, but couldn’t get anything sensitive past the security systems. So I volunteered to get it directly. Unfortunately, we didn’t know that our informant only speaks Vietnamese, Cantonese, and some very broken Russian. The dictionary he’d been previously using isn’t complex enough for the level of detail we need. Our shared Russian skills aren’t much better. I can’t leave until I have the intel memorized and I can’t memorize it until we find a translator."

"Could you leave and come back with a translator? A digital one maybe if you can't get anyone else past the guards?"

Ghost shook his head, “They know that we're trying to infiltrate them. They’re very strict about what technology gets in and out. Besides, my cover is only so good. I should be able to get a believable excuse to leave camp, but the scrutiny required for re-entry would compromise it.”

Jean pursed her lips in thought, running over the possibilities. She paused, half thinking out loud.

“I think the princess speaks Vietnamese.”

“Princess?” Ghost’s eyes widened beneath his mask. Shit, no one told him they'd taken someone so high profile. That significantly complicated security procedure. “I thought all their targets were lowkey.”

“No, no, she’s not royalty. She’s a med student. It’s just a nickname,” Jean hastily corrected with an embarrassed laugh. “We have a lot of those here. We get kinda bored.”

Ghost silently thought back on his own POW experiences.

“Things could be a whole lot worse than boredom.”

“The perks of being a hostage," Jean responded dryly. "Need us in one piece.”

“So where’s this ‘princess’ of yours?”

“There,” Jean pointed at the upper level of the compound's eastern turret. “You can see where the nickname comes from. She’s in solitary, but she has a window that we talk to her through during yard time.”

“What'd she do?” Unless the hostage takers were worse than he thought, they wouldn’t put someone in solitary for shits and giggles.

“She’s… a special case."

“Who’s she tied to?”

“That’s the thing. We don’t know. Not even she knows.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I know I’m here because of Kate. Ritchie’s here because of his uncle. Troy because of his brother. Eileen… could be her nephew, but it’s probably Soap. But Elise—that’s her name, Elise Veidt. Do you know any Veidts in Special Forces or KorTac?”

“Not to my knowledge, no. Could it be her boyfriend?”

Jean shook her head, “No. The common theory is an uncle or half sibling. Both her parents were civilians, but her father had family and an ex-wife on the other side of the Atlantic. She has no idea where they are now or if they’re even still alive, but it seems the most likely—if not the only—possibility. Plus she was single when she was discovered.”

Ghost's brow furrowed.

“Discovered? What do you mean by that?”

“There was… an incident. It ended with her being taken into custody.”

Ghost wanted to press for more detail, but Jean flashed him a look that stopped him in his tracks. She was married to Laswell, and that doesn't happen without being able to hold her own in an argument.

“It’s not my story to tell." Her tone was measured, but Ghost could tell this was non-negotiable to her. “She’s a good kid. Just got in a bit of a rough patch. Along the way she had her blood tested and it must’ve pinged… something. Next thing she knows, she’s getting transferred. They refuse to tell her where. When she resists, she gets knocked out and wakes up here.”

“That still doesn’t explain the isolation.”

“We think that whoever she’s related to, it must be someone important. Or someone very dangerous. Someone they’re scared to anger.”

“Then why did they kidnap her if they’re so bloody afraid of pissing the bugger off?”

“Taking her was probably a calculated risk. Returning her damaged a death sentence. They wanted to make sure she doesn’t get hurt, either by her own hand or someone else’s.”

----------

Ghost cautiously approached the cell door. According to the directory, this was “Detainee #934287: VEIDT, Elisabeth.” He peered through the grate, careful not to get too close to the opening—he knew firsthand how solitary confinement could warp the mind and liked having both his eyes intact.

From what he could see, the cell had a tiny cot, stripped of its sheets on the left. On the right was a wash basin and bucket. In between was a small window—just large enough to stick your face out of. It wasn’t the worst cell Ghost had seen, but it wasn’t homey either. It also appeared to be empty.

“What the—” he muttered under his breath.

The low rumble of his voice almost made you jump from your position, sitting leaned against the door. The window was your only connection to the outside world, but it also made your cell freezing so you tried to stay as far away from it as possible when there was no one outside to talk to. You paused, confused then intrigued. You didn’t think they had a British guard. Slowly, you got up.

He was closer than you assumed. Right up against the door, you almost had to suppress the urge to jump again. You silently mourned the fact that such a pretty pair of eyes were wasted on some terrorist dipshit.

Still, you were bored enough that anything seemed intriguing.

“You’re new.”

“You’re Elise, right?”

Your lips quirked with all the cockiness of someone who knew they couldn’t be touched.

“Shouldn’t they have already debriefed you on that?”

“The only person who’s briefed me on you was Jean.”

Your eyes narrowed. You may have only been able to communicate through a tiny window, but you trusted Jean. You knew her. She wouldn't rat on you, not without a fight.

“What did you do to her?”

“Nothing,” his voice grew even gentler. Soft in a way that commanded you to hang on every word. “I’m here to help.”

Attractive voice and eyelashes aside, you were still unimpressed.

“Really?”

“I'm on a reconnaissance mission for Special Forces. I was supposed to memorize this file. I wasn’t told it was going in Vietnamese.”

You perked up at this. Finally, things were making a little sense.

“I speak Vietnamese.”

“So I’ve heard.”

You took one last look at him, trying to figure out if this was a trick or some sick game. Then again, if it was, what would they even do? Your captors didn’t seem allowed to punish you physically, and mentally there wasn’t much more they could do. Fuck it, you had nothing to lose.

You reached out your hand, “Gimme.”

He slipped you a folded up piece of paper. You unfolded it to reveal an annotated set of blueprints.

“Pen or pencil?” For all you know, he could be picky about that sort of stuff.

The man stood up to dig for something in his vest. You quietly realized that he’d been bending down to look you in the eye. This man, whoever he was, was tall.

He passed you a pen. You noticed that while his hands were gloved, a whisper of a tattoo peeked out as his sleeve rode up. It looked like it could be the bottom of a skull. Or a very small picket fence. Probably the former.

You figured he'd turn away and leave you to your work, but he doesn’t.

“Are you going to…”

“No,” he responded firmly. “If either of us get caught, at least two of us are screwed. I know I can get myself out of it, but our informant can’t. I won’t have his blood on your or my hands. So I’m going to keep watch.”

It’s slightly awkward with him just standing there, but you did your best to lay the blueprint flat against the wall and start scribbling away. Still, you couldn't help but let your eyes flit to him, now with his back to you, standing guard.

“Where are you from?”

“Hmm?”

“Your accent, where’s it from?”

“Shouldn’t you be focusing on your work?”

“I could do this with both hands tied behind my back."

He made a doubtful noise.

You let a cheeky smile grace your lips, “Pen in my mouth, paper on the floor. Handwriting might be chicken scratch, but it’d still be legible.”

If you could see his face, you would’ve noticed his eyebrows raise as he tried to picture it. You on your knees, leaned forward with your ass in the air, hands bound, tongue twisted around the p—

“So, the accent? Where?”

“That’s classified.”

You tilted your head in thought, “It’s Northern, right? British, not Scottish. You don’t sound like Eileen.”

He bristled, quiet in a way that tells you you’re on the money.

“Look, how about this. For every question you answer truthfully, I’ll do the same. I won’t ask you anything I know you can’t tell me, not even your name. I just... wouldn’t mind a little conversation. They’re kinda in short supply here.”

A beat passed.

“Manchester.”

“I knew it!”

He made another noise. You think it was a laugh. You think it sounds beautiful.

“My turn. How do you know Vietnamese?”

“My mother. She immigrated from the South when she was young. Judging from some of his vocabulary, I’d guess your informant is from the North, but the dialects aren’t all that different, especially in script. What food do you miss the most?”

“Anything that isn’t an ORP.”

“An ORP?”

“Operational ration pack.”

If your hands were free, you would’ve crossed them.

“That’s a cop out.”

“Fine,” he relented. “I could go for a Nando’s takeaway.”

“What sort of food is that?”

“Chicken. Flame grilled with this Peri-Peri sauce and—”

He groaned. It’s a noise you want to hear again.

Mimicked him in commiseration. The plates the guards slid through your food slot were pitiful, to say the least.

He starts to ask you something but seems to stop himself.

“What?” you asked.

“It’s… I shouldn’t.”

You were many things, but you weren't a coward.

“I can always choose not to answer. Hit me.”

His voice was still hesitant as he asked, “What did you get arrested for?”

You were worried that the question would be gross or embarrassing, not utterly nonsensical.

“Arrested?”

“Jean said they found you because you were taken into custody.”

“Oh,” your cheeks flushed. “It wasn’t that type of custody. I was 5150-ed. Or more accurately 5250-ed.”

“Pardon?”

“I tried to kill myself. I failed.”

The man froze. He turned around, trying to get a glimpse of you—and any wounds—through the grate.

“Do you need medical attention?”

“No,” you reassured. “I stole some valium and then drank myself silly. I was found in time and they got me help before any irrevocable damage happened. If they hadn’t spotted the note they would’ve just written me off as some foolish party animal, pumped my stomach, and let me be on my merry way.”

You haphazardly glanced at him, expecting him to be stone cold. A proper soldier. To your surprise his eyes, those stupidly beautiful eyes, are trained on you with more care than you've seen in the last three months combined.

“Were you a user… before?”

You shake your head but your eyes remain locked. You couldn't bear to break contact.

“No. Too busy with school. But then my mom died and suddenly everything was… too much. Going to med school and becoming a doctor was what she wanted. The loans, the sleepless nights, the blood, sweat, and tears. It was all for her. Not me. I wanted to make her proud. Happy. And now that will never happen. Without her, I didn’t really see the point of continuing to put myself through hell. I tried to drop out, but the program wouldn’t let me. So I figured might as well cut out all stress in my life instead.”

“Are you planning to try again?”

“No,” the answer is honest. “I’m not giving these bastards the satisfaction. Plus I need to find whoever put me in this situation in the first place and give them a piece of my mind.” You turned back to the blueprints, gently trying to shift the tone back to the comfortable rapport you had earlier. You missed it and you need him to stop looking at you like that or you might do something stupid. “That was like three extra questions. It's my turn now. Any hobbies?”

“Hobbies?”

The very word sounded foreign on his tongue.

“You know. Do you have a secret passion for knitting or something?”

“Embroidery, actually. And that’s no secret.”

“So, anything you do outside of… espionage or whatever your job is?”

“I dunno. Football. Tattoos.”

“Giving or receiving?”

“The latter, though I have been curious to learn it.”

“Got a steady hand?”

He smiled, thinking about something you know he won’t tell you.

“You could say that.”

“Anything else?”

He paused for a moment. You can tell there’s something on his mind. He just hasn’t resolved whether you’re worth it to tell to.

“There’s a bare knuckle boxing club I like to go to when I’m on leave.”

You haven’t seen him in combat, but there’s something in the coiled posture of his stance that tells you he knows how to handle himself.

“I bet you kick their asses."

He says nothing, but you swear he almost preens.

"Could you teach me?"

His lips quirked.

"How serious are you being?"

"Pretty decently. They got me this time. I won't let that happen again. Not without a fight."

"If you're ever in Town, visit Stuart’s and ask for Simon. Might be able to give you a few pointers."

You look up at him, grinning.

"Simon, eh?"

He smiled. His gaze was still intense, but its stifling mixture of pity and worry was replaced by something warmer that made your chest flutter.

"Can't promise I'll be there, but the lady at the desk should be able to tell you when I'll be back."

You folded the blueprints, neatly passing them through the cell bars.

"Well, Simon. Here's your translation. Give them hell."

----------

Chaos. Complete and other chaos.

Smoke and bombs and bullets. You agonized over whether or not to look out the window. The unknown of what was happening was almost scarier than the reality. In the few furtive glances you spared, you caught the bodies. So many bodies. The only relief was that all of the dead seemed to be guards.

You thought back on Simon, dressed in the guard’s garb. These are probably his people. He must’ve gotten out and they must’ve gotten the intel. By now he’s probably on his next recon mission. You were able to learn a little about military structure from what the other hostages told you about their families. If his specialty was infiltration they probably weren't going to waste him on a direct assault like this.

Manchester. Stuart's. Simon.

You didn't need to see him before then. You just needed him to stay alive, wherever he was.

The cacophony slowly grew closer. You didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.

A loud buzz rang out as the power grid malfunctioned and the hallway outside your cell was plunged into darkness.

Something was happening and all you could do was sit back and listen.

There were screams. Some seemed to be of pure joy, others of painful death. Many you couldn’t tell apart.

There were gunshots. Often followed by gurgles and the sickening sound of someone falling to the ground. There were footsteps. Heavy ones. Slowly drawing nearer.

Someone jostled the cell door. You froze, holding your breath. Maybe they wouldn't even notice you.

The darkness outside your cell moved. A single blue eye peered through the grate, surrounded by black.

"Stay back," the eye commanded. You were all too happy to oblige him.

There was a quick bang and the cell door swung open, revealing a man. A large man.

He bent down to enter the cell before standing up to his full height. Clad in black with a mask you'd expect on a cartoon executioner, he unfolded like an eldritch piece of origami. He just seemed to keep on going.

“Are you Elisabeth?” Hearing it again, you realized his voice was accented. Up close, his demeanor transformed. He seemed... nervous. Incredibly so, barely even able to get the words out.

“Yes,” your voice is almost as hesitant as his.

“I— I am— Ah—” his feet shuffled about anxiously. Any bravado he had from battle has melted away, leaving him almost curled against the wall. You catch sight of a patch on his left side. Red. White. Red. The Austrian flag.

“Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” ( Do you speak German? ) you asked. Maybe talking would be easier in his native language.

The man perked up, surprised but excited.

“Ja! Du auch?” ( Yes! Do you? )

You nod, “Mein Vater war Österreicher.” ( My father was Austrian. )

You knew this was a possibility. Even with the covered face and the giant height difference. Still, his next words caught you off guard.

“Ich weiß. Ich bin dein Halbbruder.” ( I know, I’m your half-brother. )

----------

The tall man, your brother, escorts you out. He promises to tell you everything and more once you’re away from this wretched place wo die Wände haben Ohren ( where the walls have ears ).

After being cooped up for so long, your legs protest the walk, but you pushed through. You were a free woman and you would never take that for granted again.

The exhaustion was worth it to step into the daylight with your own two feet.

Once your eyes adjusted, you realized that two portable camps had been set up on the perimeter. As predicted, there was no sign of Simon. You did see a couple familiar faces though, along with a plethora of heavily-armed strangers (including a man wearing a skeleton mask of all things!). Eileen was deep in conversation with a mohawk-ed man, but she threw you a warm smile as she spotted you heading to the other wolf-emblemed camp.

"Are you alright?" a voice called out at you. It was British: Northern, but rougher and gruffer than Simon's had ever been. Still, you allowed yourself to revel in the fantasy for a moment before you had to face the speaker and ruin the illusion.

You didn't know who you were expecting when you turned around, but it certainly wasn't the skull-masked man.

Up close he was even more striking. You could just barely make out his shaded eyes, alone in a void of black and white. He was shorter than your brother, but still tall by any measure. Even at that size he managed to sneak up on you two.

Your heart was racing. You didn't know why.

"Ye—yes," you managed to stammer out.

Your brother noticed your distress. It seems to give him a confidence to act that he couldn't summon for himself.

He wrapped a protective arm around you and began to lead you away.

“She’s with KorTac,” he said, like that explained everything.

During your confinement, you had plenty of time to think about what you would say to whoever got you into this mess by joining the military. You had dreams of really digging in and tearing them a new one. All of those dreams flew out the window now.

It wasn’t like you couldn’t or were afraid to antagonize someone as big as your brother. But, seeing him… you didn’t want to do that, or anything that could hurt him.

You wanted to talk to him. To get to know him. To—silly as it was—protect him.

After all, he was about the only family you had left.

[goldenshrikecomic]

FAQ

Please read these before sending asks! It's also good to check the tags listed on the pinned post to see if it's already answered. Where can I read GS? On Comicfury or DeviantArt. Two pages ahead on both Patreon and Ko-fi.

Who works on this comic? Only me, ratt/doeprince. You can call me either, I usually refer to myself as doeprince when it's more official, otherwise ratt or some secret third thing. I'm an amateur artist and I draw these comics for fun without much ambition to gain greatness. I want to make enough money to be able to keep working on more comics, and buy trinkets.

How can I support what you do? Why thank you for asking! All my income comes from making comics, so the support on either Patreon or Ko-fi is literally making my comic endeavours possible.

Do you have other projects? I work on some secondary comics. Jet and Harley and Honey are currently updating, Corpse is finished. You can find my other art on doe-prince.

How long will Golden Shrike be? I don't know how many pages. I hope it's less than 1000.

What programs do you use? SAI for lineart, CSP for coloring and bubbles, PS for text and backgrounds. Hoooow do you draw the antlers from different perspectives? I've made 3D models for each recurring antlered character.

Is GS going to have physical merch? Will it be printed? Consider this a no, but I won't say never.

Does GS have a map, official wiki or dub or something like that? No. There's a fan wiki out there full of inaccurate information so take everything in there with tons of grains of salt. There's no map. The dub on YT is separate from me, I've had no hand in it.

Can I make a fan character? Can they interact with yours? You can absolutely make a fan character! I just ask you not to make them interact with mine, at least not in any kind of heavy way. It's a slippery slope and I've seen people treat my characters very rudely to make them suit their needs.

Can I make fanart/writing? Yes! All sfw and well-meaning works are welcome. Just tag me so I can see them! Why are the borders black and sometimes white? White borders means it's a flashback.

Deer don't do that!!!!! Or birds!! Or plants! The moon shouldn't be that shape right now. Everything in GS is fictional for this very reason. I shall not be shackled by the chains of realism when there's entire new worlds in my fingertips. I aim to make things believeable in its context, not realistic. Are other animals sentient, can they talk? Sure they are and can, but not outside their own species. A frog can't hold a conversation with a deer, but a deer and antelope could possibly make it work. There's exceptions though.

How old are main characters? They're fawns right? No they are not, they'd all be in their early 20s if they were humans.

What does sire mean? It keeps popping up in different contexts. You can liken this term to 'father', as in your dad but also something like a priest. The priest isn't your dad but "father forgive me for I've sinned". So sire is a) respected stag, b) very formal way to address your father. Dame is the female counterpart. Why are the does so small compared to stags.... are you a freak... do you just hate women..... Listen when I started GS I had been dwelling in a place where monster deer characters had insane size differences and it became some kind of norm to me and of course it found its way into my comic. Now I just have to keep drawing those tiny women to keep up the consistency. I've created bigger ladies nowadays because I too think it's a little silly now.

Please please will this character ever get a mate? Will this pairing be canon? Will you please make this pairing canon? I won't spoil any pairings, I think it'd be the most boring thing to do to my own work! I'll only confirm the ones already established in the comic.

Is this a speck of ember? Is it snow? What is that floating thing, is it relevant to the plot? IT'S JUST MY DUST BRUSH LEAVE ME ALONE.

[loveriotss]

[ 🥐 ] LOVE ALLIANCE : ALLIANCE D'AMOUR ⸻ MEET : y/n l/n's crew | k.bakugo x gn! reader smau series

phantom hero : mirage - y/n l/n → quirk : phantom touch - allows the user to create temporary constructs that can interact with the physical environment. these constructs are only visible to the user and can be anything from simple shapes (walls/shields/etc) to more complex forms (weapons/creatures/etc). [ a/n: i havent decided if y/n's quirk will be relevant enough but if it is i'll make sure to give more info about it! i wanted to give a quirk just incase ykwim. ] → a well loved and popular hero. praised for their skills and charming personality. → gets moped into dating scandals for even the slightest interactions with other pro heroes 😭. → had a crush on bakugo in highschool

zero gravity hero : uravity - ochaco uraraka → founder of gravity guidance : a quirk counseling enterprise that helps young children/students with their quirks. → might have returning feels for a certain ua teacher. → has occasionally hosted game and talk shows!

rain season hero : froppy - tsuyu asui → girly is does NOT gaf about rumors or scandals about her. → will proudly say or tweet whatever is on her mind (her pr team has given up i fear). → she has many amphibians and exotic bugs as pets.

ua teacher : deku - izuku midoriya → his embers last forever. although he is significantly weaker than before, he works to regain his strength. → yes his classmates are still actively funding for a hero suit. → currently he teaches at ua academy.

speed hero : ingenium - tenya iida → he is also an author. → he enjoys writing in his free time, it helps him feel calm. → mother of the group, always looking out for his friends and assuring that their needs are met.

hot and cold hero : shoto - shoto todoroki → does modeling on the side. → not hard to spot his face on a big billboard. → donates a lot of his income to quirk therapy and villain rehabilitation centers.

ᯓ★» LOVE ALLIANCE !

masterlist | next >

ᯓ★» ALLIANCE SECRETS !

୨ৎ : shoto got his brother touya into modelling too! although it took a bit of convincing, he eventually agreed. it's not his main career at the moment, but he's enjoying it as he tries to figure out what he wants to do in life. ୨ৎ : tsu has doxxed MANY people (haters). beware before you post smack about her or her friends because trust you'll find your ip address in your comments. ୨ৎ : iida also likes painting! he mostly paints geometrical shapes with muted colors when he's going through writers block. ୨ৎ : ochaco is a big fashion girlie! when she's not feeling tired or lazy, trust she'll glam out! (pro hero money PAYS) ୨ৎ : izuku has many fan boys and girls of his own (just like how he fanboyed over all might in his student days). he is grateful for their admiration!

ᯓ★» AUTHOR'S NOTE !

my au my rules i don't want anyone of you commenting on izuku's quirk situation. "ermm that's not accurate to the lore 🤓☝️" SHUSHH. do you guys like the little random things i gave them to do on their side!!!! also also pretend they do have those official tick marks bc i added those later but felt lazy and didn't update the screenshots.

ᯓ★» TAGLIST !

( comment on masterlist to be added + pls check ur settings if you're unable to be tagged ) @chsvok @ch3rryjampi3 @emmab3mma @pikachuzhc @cholios @zaiban2989 @hearts4heidi @ikissfade @themultifandomgirl @god-hangry-otter @solecitoszn @sunlix143 @rikislove @fackeraccount @chaoslibra @4rmins @harryzcherry @luvvvamy

©loveriotss — all rights reserved to me. don’t try to copy/steal my work. do not use any of my ideas/translate my work without my permission.