#is it a missing scene? is it just my endless rambling? who knows

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

I heard Hold On, We're Going Home on the radio on my drive home yesterday and this is what my brain supplied me with so 🤷‍♀️

"Edddd-he-he-he-heeeeee!"

The sound of Dustin's wail splits through the rumbling of The Upside Down as they were racing back to the gate.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Fucking idiots! What happened to not being heroes! Steve thinks as he picks up his pace, sprinting faster than he ever has, towards where he thinks he heard the sound come from.

He comes to a skidding halt next to the pair. Dustin, clinging to a lifeless Eddie, his tear-streaked face turned up to the sky, a guttural scream ripping from his little brother's lungs as he howls in agony. It threatens to break through his concentration, but Steve's training is stronger.

"What happened?" Steve asks, trying to peel Dustin off of Eddie so he can get a better look at his wounds. It's obvious it was the bats; they're either dead or writhing around them. But it's like Dustin can't hear him; he's just weeping and rocking Eddie back and forth.

"Dustin!" Steve snaps, finally gaining the boy's attention, his eyes snap open and the grief and heartbreak in their innocent depths are almost too much. Steve knows it would've broken him this time last year, it still could if he doesn't keep his head on straight, "Let go. Let me help!" Steve insists, trying again to get Dustin to let go.

"Steve," Nancy mumbles, sympathy lacing her tone as she reaches out for him and Dustin over their shoulders, but he just holds his hand up to silence her.

"No! He's not going!" Steve asserts, "Dustin, off!" he demands, wrenching the boy away and all but throwing him into Robin's waiting arms. 

She's the only one who knew about the EMT course, she helped him read through some of his textbooks when he'd had to take the day off because he'd had the flu, she knows he's the only one that has a chance to fix this mess. 

Steve reaches for Eddie's throat, but there's a gaping hole on one side, it's bleeding a lot but not squirting, so he's hoping that it's just superficial. Blood's pooling around Eddie but not enough to have hit an artery, he's bleeding out, but it's slow, he can fix this. He presses his fingers into the other side of Eddie's neck. There, a pulse. Barely, but definitely there, once, twice then nothing.

He wastes no time in starting chest compressions, "Robin! Count," he pleads, he knows it'll be easier if he doesn't expend all his energy trying to do both at once.

"One and two and three, one and two and three, one and two and three," she copies his movements, only stopping counting when he searches again for a beat before continuing when he does.

He half hears Nancy trying to get what happened out of Dustin, how it happened, how long ago, but the kid only knows half of the story. He explains how Eddie cut the rope and ran off, how he made it back through the gate by himself, how the bats dropped out of the sky as he wobbled out of the trailer and how he found Eddie.

"He was- he was talking," Dustin gets out between sobs, still shaking in Robin's grasp, the two of them watching Steve work intently.

"When?" Steve asks, still pumping Eddie's chest, half listening to Robin keeping count. 

Dustin doesn't say anything for a second, then he splutters, "I- I don't…"

Except Steve doesn't have time for I don't know's, he needs to know, and he needs to know now, "Think, man!" Steve beseeches impatiently.

"Steve!" both girls snap, confusion written all over Nancy's face, fury on Robin's, mad at him for snapping at Dustin. She wraps her arms tighter, more protectively around the boy, pressing her chin into the top of his head, but she's still counting for him. Dustin's her favourite out of the boys and honestly, he can't blame her, he'd probably say the same if he had to choose.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Dusty, but c'mon, I need to know," he implores.

Dustin nods, breathes deeply and sets his shoulders, scrunching his brows in concentration, "I don't know, he was bleeding, but he was talking, and then he said… but then he was gone, and then you arrived," he recounts, thinking hard he nods to himself, "Seconds, fifteen, twenty? Maybe more, but definitely less than a minute," he decides.

Steve nods back at Dustin, "That's good. That's so good, man. I'm so proud of you," he tells him as sincerely as he can, but he's starting to get tired. He knows he can't do this much longer, his body is screaming at him from everywhere, but he won't stop. He can't. Not just for Dustin's sake but for his own. 

Because honestly, he hasn't been able to stop thinking about Eddie since the boathouse, since he'd pressed broken glass against his neck and left a bruise at the bottom of his back that hasn't gone away, that has him thinking about that moment every time it twinges, and he's already decided that there's no way this is going to be it, he won't let it end this way, not if he can help it.

Nancy's found some fabric from godknowswhere and is doing her best to wrap up the worst of Eddie's wounds. It's only when she runs out of material that she stops working and feels at Eddie's neck, "Pulse!" she shouts. Steve knocks her hand out of the way to check himself and sure enough, weak but there, proof that Eddie's heart is beating by itself.

"Move! Gate! Now!" Steve demands, using every bit of strength he's got left to lift Eddie from the ground. The girls grab either side of Dustin and high tail it to the trailer, Steve moving as fast as his legs will carry him after them. "C'mon, Eddie, just hold on, we're going home," he tells him, holding him more securely as he waddles up the steps.

Dustin's holding the door open for Steve as the girls drag the dining table under the gate, Robin climbing up onto the wooden surface and boosting Nancy through to the other side. Dustin pulls the door closed behind Steve and Eddie, then grabs a dining chair, dragging it next to the table and using it as a step to wobble up on the table surface. Nancy's already clambered off the waiting chair that Dustin had used to launch himself through the gate and is dragging the table into its place, climbing back up to catch Dustin as Robin carefully boosts the boy through to the other side. 

Robin jumps down and helps Steve climb onto the chair and then the tabletop with Eddie in his arms then she climbs back up, and hops a few times. It worries Steve given the way everything here is slowly decaying that the table will crumble beneath their feet, but it doesn't. She leaps at the gate, clinging to its sides and lifting herself until she's falling, landing ungracefully into Nancy's waiting arms, Dustin doing what he can to help them keep their balance. 

Steve nods to himself as he watches them get situated, ready to catch Eddie. All he has to do is get them both through the gate and then they're on the homestretch. All his training tells him Eddie needs a hospital like yesterday but looking at the unconscious boy in his arms, he stalls, something deep in him just can't let Eddie go. Not again.

"Steve," Robin calls, his attention immediately snapping to her, and he just knows from the look on her face. She knows, she sees him, it'll be okay, he just has to trust her and he does. He sucks in a breath and lifts Eddie as high as he can and when he feels the pull from the other side he pushes him towards it, Eddie floating between worlds landing heavily and awkwardly in Robin and Nancy's arms. Steve sucks in a breath when they catch him and between the three of them manage to get back on the ground, laying Eddie down gently on the mattress on the floor. 

Steve doesn't hang around to watch as they do their best to get Eddie comfortable, as soon as they're off the table, Steve grabs the dining chair, dragging it onto the tabletop, stepping up and through the gate, landing heavily on the surface before rolling off onto the ground.

Robin and Dustin have already disappeared and Nancy's screaming into the phone, "I know you can hear us, you bastards! Man down! Get a doctor to Memorial now!"

Steve crawls over to Eddie, kneeling over his patient, pressing his fingers back into his neck. He's still got a pulse, and he isn't bleeding too intensely from anywhere he can see, but Steve knows he won't be able to lift him again, his arms just won't take it. It doesn't stop him brushing gentle fingers over his cheek, wiping away some of the grime, "That's it, Eds, we're home now, man. You just rest, we'll get you the help you need," he mutters to him. 

When he sits back on his heels, he looks up to see Nancy's already waiting with Eddie's legs in her arms. He smiles gratefully at her, but he's distracted from actually thanking her when a car honks outside. They glance at each other and lift, carrying Eddie out and into the waiting car.

Of course you taught Dustin how to hot-wire a car! Little shits, the pair of you! Steve thinks affectionately, as he and Nancy lay Eddie gently over their knees in the backseat. Robin's behind the wheel, thank god! She sticks her foot flat on the gas pedal as soon as the backdoors are closed, panicking and shouting "shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" as Dustin screams for her to "slow down!" as they peel out of the trailer park.

Steve's got one hand on Eddie's neck, holding a pile of napkins from the car's console to the open wound with his thumb, feeling the beat of this pulse through his fingertips, gently stroking Eddie's hair from his face with the other. "You've got some explaining to do when you get better, Eddie Munson. Don't think being a hero means I'm gonna forget about ignoring orders," Steve mumbles. 

Nancy hears him, glances sadly over but doesn't say anything, just turns her face away and focuses on the carnage outside, seeing the way the gate ripped Hawkins apart. 

"Just hold on, Eds, you're doing so good. Just stay with us, man. We've got you. It's still gonna be your year, just you watch! I swear we're gonna get you that diploma if it's the last thing I do. We'll have you back on your feet in no time, so I won't hear any excuses. I bet Dustin's told you I'm a pushover, and I am for that kid but don't think you're not getting out of it that easy. You might be cute, but you're not my kid brother," Steve rambles, because he can't do anything else to help, but he remembers reading in his textbooks that the unconscious can still hear, that talking to them can help bring them back to reality, and he's been knocked out enough times by now to know that it's true. 

"And you're on babysitting duty too. Someone's gotta help me wrangle these damn kids, 'cause I love Robin, but she's useless at it! You and me we're gonna get this one's attitude in check before the big bad world comes to bite him in the arse," Steve tells Eddie knowing he'll know who he's talking about, knowing Dustin will too. He hopes a bit of levity will help, but instead of the protest he half expects, a quiet sob is the only sound that comes out of the front seat. 

Robin reaches over and puts her hand over Dustin's where it had been white-knuckle clenching his seat, giving him the comfort Steve can't right now, and it's almost like they've switched roles.

She's even gotten used to driving, she seems almost as comfortable as he is when he's behind the wheel, and she's as good as he is too, if not better. Not that that surprises Steve. She's always been bigger, brighter and smarter than him, and he loves that so much about her.

"Then when you're all better, and you've finally graduated, you can go off and be a big rock star and shout to the nation instead of the school cafeteria," Steve mumbles, gently removing the tangles and dried blood from his hair. It makes him impossibly sad, but he says it because he knows that's what Eddie wants, what he'd wanted since that damn talent show.

It's not even close to what Steve wants, he wants Eddie to stay with him, to choose to rant to him about the state of the nation's politics and how anything is made better if you add cheese, but it's not an offer he's sure he could ever make and definitely not something he wants to admit aloud especially when Eddie's unconscious.

They're around the corner from the hospital when Eddie makes a guttural rumbling sound that Steve knows isn't good. Shit! Everyone in the car seems to pick up on the tension that automatically fills his body as he presses his fingers harder into Eddie's neck, his pulse is there, but it's weakening. Robin presses down on the gas, the car screeching to a halt outside the ER entrance, Dustin leaping from the vehicle before it's even stopped moving, screaming for help. 

Robin pulls open the car door, grabbing Eddie under his shoulders, helping him and Nancy manoeuvre Eddie carefully out of the backseat, "We're here now, Eds, they're gonna fix you, okay? Just hold on a bit longer, baby, and we'll soon have you home," he tells him as he holds the bloodstained paper to his neck, barely noticing when two nurses arrive with a gurney.

The girls practically have to hold him up as soon as Eddie is safely laid on the bed.

The four of them follow him into the hospital as far as they're allowed anyway, a nurse pressing a firm hand into his chest. Steve wants to argue, he wants to go with Eddie, he wants to make sure they look after him properly, but as he looks at the nurse he realises immediately why he recognises her, it's Stinson. She doesn't say anything, just nods at him, but he understands that she's saying, I've got it from here, so he takes a step back, watching helplessly as the door swings shut behind her.

Dustin and the girls crowd into his chest, relief and grief and love, and all he can do is hold them tight and hope and pray he's right.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

you know for ostensibly a delirium fan blog, i end up talking disproportionally about dream and desire, so lets even those scales a little, because there's plenty interesting to talk about with my girl

and one thing that i think is really important to delirium's characterisation is that she is not a child

she's impulsive, yes. she can be absent minded, she enjoys playing, and has little care about being perceived as weird. she struggles to communicate her thoughts in a 'normal' way, all things common amongst various neurodivergences. but she's extremely aware of her surroundings, and her realm is home to every fucked up thought anyone's ever had, she's in no way naive (like look at how many of her ramblings involve sex or death or other things that would be censored in kids media)

the very first time we meet delirium in the comics, we get this bit of narration, which has stuck in my head since i read it

because that battle between who delirium is and who people see her as is fascinating to me

she's older than every being that's ever lived, mortal or not, bar 8 (her siblings and her parents)

and celestial bodies are also people in this universe, they're all younger than her too, she's watched the stars grow up

she is the 9th oldest being ever

but we see so much of this story through the eyes of the other endless, and they don't think of her as the 9th eldest being in existence. they think of her as their baby sister

some more than others. i think destruction was one of the people most willing to see her as she actually is. and while i'm not sure if dream is always on the list of good siblings here (he has a tendency to be condescending), someone commented on my post about a dream and delirium scene that despite delirium making no sense, dream doesn't talk down to her

he may not see her as on his level (he does, after all, agree to go with delirium at first because he assumes it's something she'll get bored of and forget about eventually, he doesn't expect her to be right), but dream at least has an abstract enough domain that he sees through her words to the meaning behind them, and he respects her way of communicating

but with most of her siblings, it's a fight to be taken seriously, and we do see a few moments where she's angry enough to remind them she's their equal

and i love her so much as neurodivergent representation, because how many of us have had to deal with the whole adult physically child mentally thing? oh they're mentally a 5 year old, no, they're mentally an adult, they just think differently to you. and i love del for the fact that she doesn't let certain things being 'childish' stop her from doing them if they feel right, she doesn't let anyone else make her hide things about herself. but also she stands up for herself and reminds her siblings that she knows more than any of them.

and she does, she's the only endless who's been through a change like that. she sees so much more than they do, and just because she can't always communicate it doesn't mean she doesn't understand

her realm is described as the easiest for people to reach, the closest to humanity (but one of the hardest to leave). death gets all the credit for spending the most time with humanity, not distancing herself from that like the other endless, but neither does delirium. del was perhaps the first to figure out what it was the endless were missing. just because her mind is in pieces doesn't mean she isn't whole

(the best characterisations of del in fics will always be the ones that remember her dialogue isn't just random rambling, the rambling has to come hand in hand with extremely perceptive observations of the people around her)

(she's the one of the few people who can make dream speechless in her analysis of his issues)

and yes, her physical presentation is younger than that of her siblings. but she doesn't present as a child, she hasn't since she was delight, she presents as a teenager

because what other physical form perfectly represents that frustration to be seen as the adult you know you are in your head when everyone in your life can only see you as a child?

[blackbirdswhispers]

It is time for a mostly done with Act 2 Astarion ramble. Spoilers, discussion of trauma, and general too much thinkery ahead

So I ended up redoing a chunk of Act 2 specifically so I could turn down the drow and get the alternate dialogue for Astarion’s romance scene. I’ve seen both cutscenes ahead of time. Games with this many choices and so many things that can be missed give me mad anxiety, I just plan my route ahead of time to remove the stress of missing specific moments I want to see.

I’ve seen it said that some people strongly prefer one course of action over the other, and of course there is a lot to dig into in the first real steps Astarion takes to be more genuine with Tav. Personally, the drow related dialogue for me hits well because it isn’t just him rambling at Tav again.

He’s nervous in both scenes, but in the non-drow conversation he’s particularly unsettled. He’s working through what he has to say but it comes off to me as he’s been overthinking for so long he just had to spit it out.

Full disclosure I think both sets of dialogue are peak writing, truth be told. I have a fondness for each of them for different reasons. But it’s the clarity with which Astarion thanks Tav for standing up for him that really gets me. There’s a little bit of awe in it, which I think is what makes Astarion so afraid still.

How do you really admire someone but not become beholden to them? He, who has had no one to admire in two centuries, fell in with a group of people who are all beholden to gods and devils and ideals. And they’ve, most of them, been betrayed already or are in the process of being wounded by those very bonds.

I haven’t played with Minthara but, obviously she’s been trapped by the Absolute. I think Halsin is the only one Astarion might see as truly free from the shackles that hold everyone else.

I also think it’s why he shows so much dislike when Tav is quick to do the good thing selflessly. The lack of self preservation! What if you get tangled up in some horrible trap! What if you piss off the wrong bad guy!

And we all know the Bad Guys are much, much worse than the Good Guys can ever counter. Who in 200 years was Good enough to help him? Who in 200 years even touched an evil so great as Cazador?

But here comes Tav, doing good (depending on the playthrough, but accurate enough for mine) and surmounting a curse laid on a land for a century. Even at this point where we haven’t made it all the way to the end of Act 2, we’re really doing it.

And for my Tav (Zane), he’s been helping the companions break free of their bonds through it all. Encouraged Wyll to try and get out of his pact. Scolded Gale for thinking of following Mystra’s plan. Stood by Lae’zel as her goddess outcast her. Implored Shadowheart to really think about following through with Shar’s murderous request. Sought out the metal to help Karlach to boot, with her ‘master’ yet to be handled.

Their futures already on a knife’s edge with mindflayer tadpoles buried in their brains, yet Zane’s out here quietly demanding they talk on personal growth as well as worldly peril. And isn’t that just life for you?

Sooo yeah, why *wouldn’t* Astarion be terrified to find himself catching feelings for someone like that? At first it would have seemed the safest option, bait the bleeding heart to bleed for you. For you alone if you could manage to captivate them well enough.

And bleed they do. Bleed right into your mouth each and every evening just to keep you Happy.

But they keep bleeding for everyone else too. They aren’t afraid to ask for help. They cheerfully stroll up to Shadowheart every morning, shamelessly asking to be restored after you’ve taken a chunk out of them, again. Everyone knows it’s happening! It should feel like you’re the one keeping them! But does it?

They keep taking requests for everyone they meet. They drag you out and about for far far too long each day, making you party to their endless favors.

One night they come to you, bruises all over them, their eyes shadowed because they were literally beat to death in a fight, spared by Shadowheart because you were on the other side of the room handling some other Absolute minion. They come to you in such a state, and offer again to bleed for you. What a freak, how can you not feel for them?

And then you get to this drow, and they’re another person asking for a favor. Another person wanting something. Sure this time it’s specifically from you but, it’s not even a hard task, from the outside. You’re a vampire, biting other creatures is literally what you do. And she wants it for a boon to the party.

Surely they’re going to try to convince you. It’s not even a task you have to fetch anything for! You’re standing right there with them! And when they express their surprise to you, of course you get defensive and brace yourself for the worst!

Part of you starts to crack a little as the Good lays it’s oppressive hands on you. Of course this is how it’s going to go. When has it ever gone differently. There are ideals to uphold. Tasks to help with.

Then you look them in their eyes, and they’re looking right back, careful and a little sad, watching as you prepare to put up a fight or give in to despair. And they’re speaking and….genuinely mean it when they tell you it’s your decision. To do what *you* want.

They subvert all your concepts of Good. They don’t call you selfish, they don’t even push back at all. They just support your decision. They don’t make you do the one thing vampires do best. They don’t hold it over your head. They just, let you make your decision and carry on with the rest of their life.

Oh gods you were going to obey them if they ordered you to do it. You would have, but why? Your natural order is to be under someone’s thumb, but the whole intention was for you to have them under yours. You slipped into your place without a second thought, even while panicking about getting stuck back there again.

For me, the romance conversation happened the same night. My next long rest Astarion was immediately pulling Zane over to thank him. To thank him!

Not the through gritted teeth thanks for helping him fulfill his deal for Raphael. Astarion genuinely desired to express gratitude. He still gives some background as to why he’s making such a show of it, but it feels less hurried and anxious. Or at least it did to me.

Anyway this is another hot mess post by 2am me so it’s time to sleep. I will not be reading over this before I post so sorry for the absolute stream of consciousness, or near unconsciousness as it were.

Good night

[karizard-ao3]

One of my favorite things about Eren is that he actually went on and asked his older brother, who he’s not close to, for girl advice. Also this wasn’t 15 year old impulsive Eren, he was 19 (!). And in the middle of a war and discussing a genocidal plan. And in true Eren fashion, he tries to disguise his intentions and keep cool and collected, while Zeke immediately sees through his act and just tells him Mikasa likes him. The concept of Eren being so desperate for Mikasa that he actually turns to Zeke out of all people to ask for dating advice never fails to send me. Can you just imagine how this scene plays out in a modern au?

Eren is such a dork. I can just see him bringing up Mikasa constantly while they're plotting because he's got her permanently on the brain. Zeke's like, "We're going to need to fight our way out in this contingency," and Eren is like, "Mikasa Ackerman is soooo good at fighting. That wouldn't even be a problem for her."

In a modern au, I think we're looking at Grisha being originally from Germany and moving to the US for his work (and let's say this is the cause of his divorce from Dina), so Zeke is in Germany and Eren hasn't had much of a chance to get to know him. However, Zeke very much wants the chance to be the big brother he always dreamed he could be. When Eren drops out of college to mope around at home in his childhood bedroom, Carla and Grisha decide to send him off to see his older brother and see if a change of scenery will help get him out of his slump.

Eren's trying to act like a cool tough guy but he is, in fact, just exposing himself as a down bad loser who can't get over his best friend who, when he tried to get her to confess her feelings before he left on his trip, froze and said he was family because she didn't know what he was after.

Zeke, luckily, eats it up. Big brothers help with girl problems and so that is what he will do! And, it's clear from Eren's endless ramblings that she likes him, too!

I could totally see Zeke stealing Eren's phone and texting Mikasa for him in secret. Like, he grabs it while Eren is in the shower and really quickly sends off, "I miss you so much. I wish you were here. I would take you on a hiking date," then just doesn't tell Eren about it so when Mikasa texts back, "I miss you, too. When are you coming home? We can go for a hike together here..." Eren sees her message, sees the message from himself that he does not remember sending, and starts to wonder if he's going crazy. But, like, Mikasa seems down for a hiking date, so........ is there really an issue?

Meanwhile, Zeke is sitting there, schemer that he is, tapping his fingers together and smiling smugly to himself because it's all coming together and if he plays his cards right maybe he can be Eren's best man at their wedding (he can't. The honor goes to Armin. Zeke doesn't even get invited except as an afterthought because Eren is happy to go on pretending he's an only child.)

[sweetlesson]

✿ Anonymous asked: ✿ ✿ Start the new year off creative! Take this as a chance to ramble off some headcanons about your muse and their world! ✿

✿*❀*✿

{I am actually still in the development process for Saguaro. I'm unsure if I want to try giving him a first name (since I don't remember one being mentioned anywhere to my knowledge) if that tells you anything about where I stand with him currently. I feel like it's all very basic stuff right now, and most of that has already been repeated numerous times in my posts with him. That being said, let me see if I can think of anything I have yet to write out that I've been thinking on.}

✿ Saguaro has endless patience for most everything except cleanliness. Especially concerning the care of pokemon. His past occupation lead him to becoming sort of picky with the tidiness of things, but since he loves pokemon so much he has a really hard time accepting their care being anything less than top notch no matter who it is.

✿ Saguaro's favorite treat is ice cream. For all the scenes I place him in making and enjoying pastries, he actually enjoys ice cream far more. He's of course never going to turn down anything sweet, but he's definitely one of those individuals that will leave in the snow to go buy ice cream from the nearest shop. He especially likes how creative and variant ice cream flavors can be.

✿ I don't have a solid set up for it yet, but I feel like Saguaro has siblings. I don't know how many, I don't know what they're like or what their identities are or anything, but he definitely has more than one sibling.

✿ As much as Saguaro loves his educational career, there are days when he misses working in homes and getting a more personal experience. It's just one of those things where his old skills while important for his work really don't serve much of a purpose in practice anymore, so he just occasionally reminisces to himself about the days when he worked in a big staff to care for a house and the people that lived within it.

✿ Saguaro isn't ashamed of his old work. He's quite proud to have been a good butler and honestly still takes what chances he can get to do temporary work on breaks. He just doesn't go into his personal life too often to anyone that doesn't ask.

✿ Saguaro has a deep desire to be of service to other people, but he keeps himself in check with what could be considered rude. He won't go out of his way to try to convince someone to let him help if they keep insisting he don't. If he gets pushed away, he usually tends to take the hint and let it go.

{Hopefully I can get more stuff out for ya'll as I work on Saguaro and develop him more. I want to get some really big headcanons out at some point, but I'm going to take it easy. Can't rush art and all that. XD But hopefully you like what you see here anyway.}

[little-diable]

A Gentle Man - Charlie Swan (smut)

I wrote this for my love @hidingsikki - we came up with this as we were watching Twilight for the 700th time. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: A description of how Charlie experienced the night Bella suddenly left him and Forks behind, a night full of sadness, a sadness the reader tries to distract him from.

Warnings: 18+, unprotected vaginal sex, the awful fight between Bella and Charlie, sadness and tears, but also some very sweet fluff

Pairing: Charlie Swan x fem!reader (1.4k words)

The tv kept flickering on, filling the dark room with some source of light. (Y/n) had her face nuzzled into the crook of Charlie’s neck, holding onto the man that kept dozing away the evening. By now it was dark out, but Charlie had been determined, not wanting to go to bed before Bella hadn’t returned home. 

(Y/n) ran her hand up and down his arm, chasing his closeness like a touch starved woman. Even though the two have been dating for a while now, she still found herself longing for his touch like she had been doing when she had started crushing on him. An endless circle she never wanted to break from. 

The headlights of an approaching car ripped (y/n) out of her drowsy state, about to gently wake Charlie from his slumber as the door was pushed open.

“Edward, I said, leave me alone.” Bella’s distressed voice instantly managed to stir Charlie awake. He pushed (y/n) off him, eyes watching the scene unfold in front of them. “It’s over. Get out!”

“Hey,” Charlie called after Bella, disappearing upstairs as (y/n) kept sitting on the sofa, not daring to move. Her heart was aching for the girl, she barely knew Bella, had wanted to give the father-daughter-duo enough time to catch up on all those years they had missed out on, nevertheless, (y/n) found herself caring for the teenager.

She listened to every word they spoke, the slamming of doors, the heavy breaths spluttering from Charlie’s lips. And slowly but surely a sinking sensation began to stretch itself through (y/n)’s body. Charlie would break if Bella decided to leave again, ripped away from him before Charlie could properly learn how to get to know his daughter. 

The two came back down the stairs, rushing past (y/n) who slowly rose from the sofa, gently calling Bella’s name. But the girl didn’t listen, she kept rambling on, and Charlie’s expression began to grow sadder by the second. 

“Look, Bella, I know I’m not that much fun to be around, but I can change that,” (y/n) could hear Charlie’s heart breaking, his voice dripping with confusion, fear, and pain. Pain (y/n) wouldn’t be able to soothe, even if he’d cling to her like a drowning man gripping a lifeline. 

“Like what? Like watch baseball on a flatscreen? Eat at the diner every night, steak and cobbler? Dad, that’s you, that’s not me.” He seemingly froze, struggling to keep up with his daughter. (Y/n) had to fight against the need to touch him, not wanting to interfere as Charlie kept fighting against the tears welling up in his eyes.

“And if I don’t get out, I’m just gonna be stuck here like mom.” 

The door fell shut with a heavy thud, and Charlie simply stood there. He couldn’t move, feet frozen to the ground as if winter had fallen upon his heart, freezing his every vein. Carefully (y/n) moved closer, she placed a hand on his shoulder, ripping him out of his staring. No longer was Bella’s truck parked in their driveway, no longer did her voice echo through the night. All they were now surrounded by was silence. A brooding silence that was interrupted by a sob clawing through Charlie. 

“I should follow her.” Charlie turned towards (y/n), who only shook her head, trying to get the man to understand that Bella wouldn’t listen to him. Not tonight.

He fell into (y/n)’s open arms, body searching hers, desperate for some kind of safety. No words were shared, all they did was stand there, holding onto one another with heavy breaths leaving them. And the minutes kept passing by, filled by nothing but the heavy breaths rumbling through the confused man. 

“Those were the words Renée had said to me all those years ago, and yet they still hurt. I didn’t think I was that much of an awful father.” Anger simmered inside (y/n), anger directed at Bella and her foolish words. How can one hurt their loved one like this? How can she speak those words to the father that had done everything he could to see her happy? 

“You’re not an awful father, Charlie. You’re nothing but a loving, caring man. She will soon return, I promise.” He didn’t reply, gently he pushed (y/n) away, took another breath and tilted his head upstairs. She silently followed him, and could only watch him change with red eyes that held so much sadness in them. 

The second Charlie laid down next to her, (y/n) pulled him into her chest, hand combing through his dark hair. He felt paralysed, body focused on his every emotion, the sadness that was eating him up, the questions he had wanted to ask Bella, gone with her body fleeing from this very home. 

“What can I do?” (Y/n) whispered her words, not wanting to rip Charlie out of his clouded thoughts, not wanting to push him away. It took the man a few moments to reply, head lifted off her chest to push his lips against hers. A gentle kiss that held more emotions than her words could ever express; a gentle kiss that forced her closer to him, hands searching his body. 

He didn’t need to speak the thoughts resting on his lips, didn’t need to beg her to distract him, able to wordlessly communicate with (y/n). She found herself straddling his waist, lips still connected as she helped him out of his boxers, hand wrapped around his cock. Softly she began to stroke him, not wanting to rush the moment, not wanting to overexert the man.

All she wanted was to take care of him and his broken heart, trying to mend the shards back together. 

Soft gasps and moans rumbled through Charlie, begging her to speed up the movement of her hand. (Y/n) gave his cock a few more pumps before she pulled away, only to push her damp panties aside, aligning his cock with her heat. She sunk down on him with a moan clawing through her, filling the dark room like an echo.

Charlie’s hands found hers, he interlaced their fingers, kept them placed on her waist to stabilise her movements. And slowly but surely he felt himself letting go of the pain, very well knowing that the sensation would return when another morning broke, but for now, all he could focus on was (y/n). (Y/n) and the love he fostered for the woman. 

Sweet nothings bled from her lips as Charlie rose his upper body off the mattress, kissing her breathless with his hands guiding her. Their moans bled together like a song sung in the quiet morning hours, waking yet another day with its gentle touch. Her walls fluttered around him, pulling him closer as they climbed higher and higher.

“I love you.” (Y/n)’s words vibrated on his lips, forcing Charlie to smile as he repeated those loving three words. Calloused fingertips brushed against her clit, set on pushing her over the edge, set on alighting a fire inside of her nobody but him could tame. A selfish movement that bound her to him, forever together till their lives would end and a new one would start.

Her legs started to tremble, soon she’d cum, soon she’d give him, ripping Charlie down the stream with her, pushing heat through his every vein.

(Y/n) came with his name rolling off her lips, her orgasm consumed her body, buzzing through her like lightning striking her fleshcage over and over again. She was barely able to breathe as she felt his heat spreading through her, cum painting her walls white with a groan clawing through him. 

She collapsed on his chest, able to listen to his racing heartbeat, how the strong muscle skipped a few beats, desperately trying to take the past moments in. Charlie didn’t let go of her, only as they were able to breathe normally did he start cleaning her up, still chasing her touch like a hurt man. 

And he’d be fighting against the biting pain in his chest for days on end, till he’d cross paths with Bella again. But (y/n) would be right there, to catch him – should the darkness force him to his knees. 

Please like and reblog if you’ve enjoyed reading this, come talk to me about my writing, let’s spill some tea or thirst over our favorite people. xxx

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[theirbbygirl]

Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!) 

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life. 

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours).  From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults. 

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted.  Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily. 

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe. 

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night. 

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated. 

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise. 

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back. 

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry. 

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that. 

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.” 

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions. 

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens. 

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom. 

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.” 

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen. 

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone. 

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket. 

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.” 

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?” 

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.” 

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode. 

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story. 

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain. 

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering. 

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to. 

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me. 

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self. 

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness. 

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern. 

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks. 

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head. 

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.” 

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.” 

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?” 

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.” 

“So maybe he doesn’t then.” 

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile. 

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks. 

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept. 

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic. 

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her. 

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee. 

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do. 

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart. 

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet. 

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?” 

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.” 

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.” 

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it. 

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?” 

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own. 

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.” 

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?” 

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.” 

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked. 

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.” 

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo. 

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon. 

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to. 

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces. 

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly. 

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.” 

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.” 

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table. 

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind. 

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes. 

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment. 

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing. 

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away. 

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message. 

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes. 

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well. 

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner. 

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen. 

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?” 

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety. 

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion. 

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.” 

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.” 

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.” 

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?” 

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it. 

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile. 

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat. 

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest. 

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university. 

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go. 

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other. 

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders. 

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug. 

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person. 

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say. 

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not. 

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly. 

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with. 

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home. 

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to. 

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives. 

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho. 

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!” 

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?” 

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?” 

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?” 

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door. 

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home. 

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. 

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there. 

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer. 

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug. 

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds. 

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up. 

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.” 

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?” 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all. 

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him. 

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch. 

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?” 

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?” 

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond. 

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?” 

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well. 

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.” 

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.” 

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”  

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.” 

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?” 

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?” 

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post. 

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again. 

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away. 

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin. 

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.” 

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair. 

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes. 

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time. 

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after. 

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there. 

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

[eggsaladstain]

just finished season 6 of the expanse and my thoughts are:

i loved it and miss them all already

but the shortened 6-episode season was not nearly enough - the laconia storyline was just a huge tease and i get wanting to set up a movie or spinoff in the future but honestly i think it should’ve been cut so we could’ve spent more time with the characters we already knew and loved

the scene in episode 2 where holden wanted to talk to clarissa alone and amos just straight up ignored him and sat there and listened the whole time - i was losing it, amos and holden are so fucking funny together and i love holden’s resigned acceptance that amos is just gonna be amos

seeing elvi and anna and prax again made my heart so full and it was a delight to hear prax ramble on and on about a new strain of yeast

LIVE SHAMED AND DIE EMPTY (MOTHERFUCKER)

perhaps one of the funniest scenes of the whole show was holden getting a fancy new job and making his first big speech on the job and then immediately using that speech to resign, god, talk about PEAK holden, never change, you wonderful, stupid, righteous man

filip NAGATA!!!! good for you sweetie but also go call your mother right now, young man, do you have any idea how worried she’s been about you?!?!

the music, especially in the last episode, was just lovely

i continue to be SHOCKED that monica stuart survived the whole thing

truly, this show was one of a kind, consistently showing us the dangers of humanity at its worst, but also our endless potential and capacity for kindness and compassion. it always felt so grounded and real, oftentimes painfully so, with characters who made bad choices, who hurt each other, who made the same mistakes over and over again. but those same characters also helped each other, support one another, and made better choices. they were ordinary people, but together, they changed the world. the expanse was sci-fi at its best, full of big ideas, taking us to amazing new worlds, and never forgetting its tender, human heart.

The universe never tells us if we did right or wrong. It’s more important to try to help people than to know that you did. More important that someone else’s life gets better than for you to feel good about yourself. You never know the effect you might have on someone, not really. Maybe one core thing you said haunts them forever. Maybe one moment of kindness gives them comfort or courage. Maybe you said the one thing they needed to hear. It doesn’t matter if you ever know, you just have to try.

Naomi Nagata, Season 6, Episode 6

[jinxiaobao]

I mean... If you're enabling me to talk to you, I'll do it :)

So BE was my first ever K-Drama, so I'm not too sure what fascinates me about it is bc the storytelling is influenced by a culture I don't understand and what is specific to BE.

One of those things is that my ear isn't used to the language, so I'm very sure I'm missing a lot of the subtleties that can't be conveied in translation and it's driving me crazy. I have come to understand through Tumblr posts the name suffix -ah is apparently very important.

Joo Won is my favorite especially in all his sniffling, screaming, crying glory and I was shocked to find out the actor is actually younger than the character. Like he's not what I would call mature in the series, but at the same time I 100% thought the actor could be even older. Dong Sik is so good too, when he smiles and laughs I'm just as lovestruck as Joo Won, but i didn't miss whole passages of dialogue looking at him like I did with Joo Won, I was gasping and telling my Laptop 'he's so pretty, beautiful, oh my god' multiple times.

I usually don't like crime series, it's just never interested me, so I avoid them, but i never had that feeling with BE. Like it wasn't about the crime if that makes sense. I felt like it was about the relationships, how each character would shape the happenings, who valued what and broke their secrets when. The scene where Dong Sik is like 'does it even matter who killed them' replays in my mind on an endless loop. Because it doesn't. It feels utterly irrelevant and that is fantastic!

Also honorable mention to the scene where Joo Won first grabs Dong Sik by his collar. I think my squeak at that was way too loud. He forgot his aversion for touch and reached out aaaaaah I'm still so giddy when I think about it

Okay I think I'm done ... For now. Though I have told my friend she should liveblog to me while she watches so maybe I'll return screaming if she tells me smth I can't comment on to her bc it'd be spoilers.

*kicking my feet and twirling my hair*

unintelligible rambling under the cut. no thoughts, just vibes.

i'd watched a few kdramas before BE, and i've enjoyed them to varying degrees but this one has me in a chokehold. i'm not super familiar with sk culture, and i'm veeerrrrry slooooowly learning the language, so i'm sure i'm missing a lot of the nuances but i think the story is told in such a way that it's kind of universal.

(i've been told that the -ah [or -ya] suffix is reserved for people one considers good friends, but i could have that wrong. i took dong sik calling him 'joo won-ah' to mean that he's important to him, and that he cares about him. growth.)

i adore joo won and all his issues, my poor little meow meow. and he's so SO PRETTY (i recommend watching more stuff with yeo jin goo--he's honestly one of the best actors i've ever seen, and he's only 24.) and dong sik.........he. fuck. i love dong sik so much (maybe too much but so be it). he's funny and flirty and everyone loves him, but he's also solitary and sad and haunted by his demons. i don't know if i kin any characters, but i feel super connected to lee dong sik. he's burdened with so much, and he wears his bright smile and sense of humor like armor. *shakes fist* i love him. and of course, he is really really REALLY hot.

i love crime series; i usually prefer them to series with overtly romantic themes, so BE was right up my street. and yeah, i totally agree--the crime part is important, but it's secondary to the characters, the way they're developed, and relationships that are happening throughout the series. i love when women write and direct characters.

and jwds. JWDS has changed my life, full stop.

that scene you mentioned when joo won grabs his collar is so!!!

the intense hold, the way joo won's eyes quickly flick down dong sik's face, how close they are to each other. *vibrates* hnnngh it's so delicious. had me flailing on the couch the first time i watched it.

and The Scene at han ki hwan's house after the climax of the show (YOU KNOW THE ONE) fucking UNMADE me. stripped me down to my essence. changed the trajectory of my life. ugh. the tears! the tenderness! these men are in love with each other, your honor!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i hope your friend screams her thoughts at you as she watches it. it's so fun to get other people's views and takeaways.

i didn't have any points to make or anything intelligent (or intelligible) to say. i just enjoy flailing with other people about this show that's changed my life.

i'm so happy you've watched it and enjoyed it! 💕

[witchersgoldenbard]

season 2 ruined geraskier for me.

now, that's a pretty loaded statement, i know, but i just realised how i can explain that weird heavy feeling that's been weighing on my chest every time i think about geralt and jaskier since watching season 2. don't get me wrong, i still love my boys to death and i will continue to write stories with them, i still have so many ideas. but before that can happen, i need to ramble and vent a little bit.

during and after season 1, geraskier was my comfort ship. the grumpy one and the sunshine one, one with heavy trauma and the other with enough blank space to serve wonderfully as a projection screen. there was so much between them in little glances and touches and smiles, and also of course in the witcher source material. there was endless room for fluff and angst and hurt/comfort, and it was always so natural. the mountain break-up scene as classic fix-it point, cakes upon cakes only served to revolve around that. there was so much room for everything that could possibly come afterwards, it was beautiful. there was no doubt at all that geraskier would be a lasting ship, a big one, one of the biggest of tumblr.

and then? then season 2 happened. and i only just figured out what bothered me. there was no closure. for anyone. all that pain and trauma i mentioned, situations where both got hurt, and nobody got the chance to properly apologise, or demand an apology. they never, not once, got to talk it out. not even with glances and a fond but exasperated smile that would tell us everything could be okay. nothing. instead, what we got was geralt apologising to jaskier while sitting on a horse, not even properly looking at him, not even on eye level. that is horrible grounds for an apology. and jaskier? he brought back the most traumatising moniker of geralt's and made it famous again, called him "butcher" because he had a broken heart. all of that could possibly be excused but-- oh wait. there was none. no apology, nothing real on either part.

we were left like them: just hanging in the air, somehow, wrongfooted, hooked but unsatisfied. we were given scraps and pieces while they weren't given time to talk and heal.

and you know what that means? it means that it's us, the fanfic writers, who have to fix this all. we cannot possibly write post-season 2 fluff without going through the emotionally heavy and draining parts of reasoning and apologising and talking first. we cannot really write an au without first having to fix whatever the fuck season 2 did. it means that i, as a person who first and foremost used to write geraskier, now find yennskier more appealing simply because it isn't so draining. it means that i get weirdly sad and heavy every time i so much as think about geraskier, because, as a friend said: i hate that i have to write geraskier fluff either in modern au or during season 1.

it's no coincidence that most of the post-s2 geraskier tag is hundreds of versions of geralt apologising, or jaskier apologising (though the first one is far more prominent, and that's another thing i am very very tired of, because it's not just geralt who needs to apologise!). there's just so much trauma in these two that there'll be 200 fics set immediately after that final battle, and all of them will be different and have different angles, because there's still so much left for them to process, it almost makes me angry.

but i'm not angry. i'm just sad and exhausted and i miss my boys. and maybe that's just me, maybe other people don't have problems writing geraskier right now, but i am very drained that in order to make them happy, i have to make them heal first. because the professional writers who were supposed to do that, didn't. and now i can't have my comfort ship anymore, because everything is too heavy.

and that is how season two ruined geraskier for me.

[deafchild2000]

My opinion when it comes to Henry and Drizella in OUAT

It's been a while since I last saw OUAT, especially season 7, and I still remember having opinions on their questionable choices.

And as the title stated: It's about Drizella and Henry.

Look at almost every Cinderella story and, despite the different names, there's always a Anastasia and Drizella and (whether or not we have Disney to thank for this is TBD) Anastatsia seems to be the twin that seems more redeemable.

Anyways, rambling aside, here's my point: I shipped Henry and Drizella. Why? Well, when I ship people - it's not always about looking good together. I want to know their characters and how chemistry works.

First and evident proof: The Bench Scene

Back before we knew Drizella had her memories, you can tell she was being genuine here. She has no angle or reason to be starting anything. She's just an annoyed stepsister looking for her missing niece, looking for her mother's ever-elusive approval. And Henry is just the guy who has issues that, for a night, was her confidante and willing to listen.

That was when I shipped it. These two people, who couldn't have been more farther from shipping material, just clicked for me.

And then it hit me when we got back to the beginning: Henry said he wanted a fairytale if his own and was low key taking ques from Snowing about what he wanted from a romantic relationship and just pegged it that Jacinda/Ella/Cinderella was the one. And from episode one, I must admit, I wasn't feeling it.

And maybe that's the entire point: It would have been way to obvious and cliche for them to be endgame!

In entire realms based on classic fairytales and love stories, the one most invested is the one we don't see coming! Look at Regina with Robin or Emma with Hook (three of the four basically raised Henry!)

It changes things when you're pursuing someone who's mostly uninterested in you, such as Jacinda. She's independent, brave, and not a "true believer" in True Love. Something about Jacinda before and after the curse had me more convinced that she and Henry were together but ended because their spark was no longer there and the writers were just forcing me to see GlassBeliever. I could see their shipping capabilities towards the middle and end of the show, but not enough to make me ship them. Or in other words, they're that couple who started well but realized they were better off as friends co-parenting a child (and considering how Henry grew up, that isn't the worst fate).

With Henry and Drizella...If I had to word it simply:

The character and the writer. The stepsister with an unchanging fate and the Author looking for a story of his own.

Let's imagine Drizella's side of the story: When she was nothing but a toddler, she and her family were poor and living on a traveling wagon when her mother disappeared. Despite a stable life and her father remarrying, a loving stepmom she's always known and an equally loving stepsister, she's missing her and wanting to come back, she has the idea to light up lanterns in hopes it will guide her home - which her sister, Anastasia dies, which does encourage her mother, Rapunzel, to come home. She's back and isn't quite used to having to mons (and perhaps feels a bit threatened that her stepmom might leave because of her...). On her birthday, her stepmom disappears and she's forced to watch her father look for her stepmom while deal with Repunzel acting in her steed. Then, a year later, she's grown closer to Repunzel

Henry is her Fairytale while Drizella Tremaine is his Guardian.

(...huh. The Author and The Guardian. Now that's a story I want to read!)

But why a Guardian? Hasn't Drizella been tempted by and given into evil plenty of times? But in that logic, shouldn't Regina had not been able to practice Light Magic? In OUAT, where rules can be bent or broken, the possibilities are endless, and who's to say Drizella, who was manipulated time and time again, wouldn't have had a redeeming arc to be a Savior!? (And I say this because there's no specific requirements for the position and someone had to fill in the position in Wish Realm!)

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

i had an idea i would love to see from your perspective (you're so good at andreil oh my god) if you wanted to write some stuff about it? i always wondered how andrew reacted when he first found neil missing after the binghampton game (starts pg 235 in the king's men). thoughts? (-- the ttyl blog <3)

omg i literally finished re-reading that scene before seeing your ask skjflsj ~ i hope you like this ! (i'm just realizing that i barely followed ur request and just rambled a lot but that's FINE 😬)

read it on ao3 here :)

«««———»»»

Andrew walked in line to the bus with the rest of the Foxes, mind going a million miles an hour behind his impassive expression. 

"Thank you," Neil had said, eyes truer than Andrew had ever seen them. "You were amazing."

Andrew wasn't such a fool for Neil Josten that he couldn't figure out there was something more happening under the surface, something bigger than just an Exy shutout, that he wasn't telling anyone. Something forcing truth out of him.

Neil looked scared.

Apparently, no one else received the memo, because behind him, Matt Boyd kept kicking at Andrew's heels and Andrew could nearly see the nosy smile on Reynold's face. Boyd's voice was drowned out by the cacophony of both jeers and shouts of approval coming from all around them, but he had no doubts that Boyd was fishing for information surrounding his and Neil's "not this" to settle a bet of some sort.

Andrew didn't really care. He was more focused on leaving Binghamton, getting some answers out of Neil, and then kissing him senseless.

Of course, Andrew had no plans to tell Neil of that last item on the list, but he was sure he (and everyone else, apparently) knew anyway.

Maybe not Nicky, though. For all his cousin boasted about having an "incredible gaydar," he tended to be a bit clueless about Andrew.

Andrew's eyes were unfocused, gazing at the bounce of Neil's red curls while his thoughts wandered around nothing at all.

Nothing? his mind mused unhelpfully. Or Neil? Or is that one in the same now?

Shut up, he huffed internally. I hate him.

Lost in his head, it was only until he heard a pained curse from Aaron that he jerked straight and saw the world burning around him.

«««———»»»

Andrew's vision went red. 

He nearly would have broken out of line and straight into the tidal wave of rioters had he not noticed the police trying to push back the crowd. He had never trusted the pigs, but Andrew supposed he could let them handle the mess until he'd gotten a chance to check on Aaron at the bus.

He had nearly fooled himself with that thought when an ice cooler sailed through the air and missed Danielle's face by an inch. An enraged shout came from Andrew's right, and he could feel the familiar heat of adrenaline in his stomach that always came when he and Renee sparred.

There was going to be a fight.

No sooner than he had that thought, the crowd around him exploded into madness, nearly running the Foxes over. Andrew may have been ready to throw some punches, but he was not at all prepared for the onslaught of unfamiliar bodies piling on him. Moving around him. Touching him. 

Andrew couldn't breathe.

He lost sight of Neil's head in the mess, hoping one of the security guards would bring Neil to safety while Andrew tried to ground himself. What had Bee taught him? 

What is your name? Andrew Minyard.

How old are you? 20 years old.

What is upsetting you? Hands. Everywhere.

Can you do something about it? Yes. I can move now.

He felt the glancing blow of someone's elbow on his face, nearly hitting his eye. It was sure to bruise later, but for now, the sharp pain mixed with Bee's words were enough to shake Andrew out of his stupor.

He ducked to the left, neatly missing a thrown shoe and was grateful to his limited stature for once. He kept an eye out for a flash of red, the glint of blue eyes, but seeing that Neil was nearly as short as Andrew himself, the effort was futile.

He'll be fine, Andrew thought. Find Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin, and get to the bus.

To his surprise (or maybe not), Andrew found Reynolds trading fierce blows with someone twice her size, Renee at her back. He caught Renee's glance and she gave him a firm nod of reassurance.

He nodded back, already swiveling to find the rest of his group. 

After a few minutes, he spotted Nicky and Kevin huddled together, slowly moving to the edge of the crowd. He caught up and grabbed Nicky's wrist, who jerked away and reared his hand back for a punch before realizing it was Andrew.

Despite it all, Andrew felt a thrum of satisfaction. A few years ago, Nicky had let people beat him down over and over again. At least now he was learning to fight back.

"Oh thank god," Nicky cried, catching Kevin's attention, before his eyes widened. He reached out, remembering himself at the last second. "Andrew... your face, what happened?"

Andrew shrugged. He'd been through worse. 

Nicky looked like he wanted to say something, but Kevin cursed loudly and began pushing out of the sea of bodies with renowned vigor.

"It's getting more violent and more people are joining," Kevin said, voice strained. "We need to get out and regroup at the bus."

"Aaron?" Andrew asked. Nicky glanced around a few moments before pointing to his right.

"There!" he exclaimed, and motioned to Kevin to go in that direction. Kevin nodded and they made their way over to Aaron, who was ducking under beer bottles and was nearly smacked in the face by a PSU banner.

"Aaron!" Kevin called, and Aaron's shoulders dropped with relief as he swerved a growing fight and made his way over to them.

Andrew scanned his brother quickly and, after seeing no visible injuries, motioned to start back towards the parking lot. They made their way over to the bus and found Boyd and Danielle standing, the former looking like he'd just lost a fight with a mountain lion.

Danielle was gripping his arm as Abby tended to his wounds, but Andrew heard her say he might need to go to the hospital for the more serious injuries. Boyd looked pained at the thought, but when he glanced up and caught Andrew's eye, he smiled and waved them over.

"Andrew, here," Abby said, noticing his injury. He took an ice pack from her and glanced around.

"Where's Neil?" he asked, choosing to ignore the suggestive look between Boyd and Danielle. Abby shrugged and opened her mouth before her eyes caught on something behind Andrew and she waved.

Andrew turned around to find Renee and Reynolds walking proudly towards them. Reynolds had a mosaic of bruises all over her, and Renee was holding her wrist precariously.

Abby sighed and began treating them as Wymack rounded the front of the bus and finally found his team.

Not the whole team, a ringing voice said in Andrew's head. Neil isn't here yet.

Which was odd, no? He had a security guard in front of him, surely he would have made it here first? Perhaps Wymack had seen him and taken him somewhere. Maybe he was already safe in the bus and Abby hadn’t noticed him.

Andrew pushed past Danielle and boarded the bus, walking the length of it but not finding a loudmouthed striker in its shadows. His stomach became knotted with a curious feeling he slowly identified as dread.

Andrew was at the door of the bus again. He looked at Wymack.

"Where. Is. Neil." he demanded. He saw Wymack's confused expression and before he even said anything, Andrew felt his heart stop.

"I don't know. I thought he was with you."

Reynold's knowing smirk gave way to uncertainty as the rest of the Foxes quieted. There was silence for a moment. Two.

Then Andrew threw his ice pack on the floor and raced back into the heart of the riot.

«««———»»»

He ignored the shouts coming from behind him, his mind an endless loop of Neil, Neil, Neil, is he safe, has he been hurt, he was supposed to be nothing, NEIL

After a few minutes of searching and more than a few near punches, the police finally regained some control over the situation and Andrew was able to scour the grounds for any hint of where Neil might be.

He saw the racquet first. The duffle bag was a few meters away from it.

Numbly, Andrew picked up both items, grabbing Neil's phone as it fell from the netted side pocket.

0, it said. 

Andrew felt a piercing emptiness when he saw Neil's things without their rightful owner beside them.

He slowly walked back to the Foxes' bus, head pounding but unable to really register the dwindling fight behind him. And when the Foxes finally came in view, he saw the confusion on their faces when they saw no Neil walking with him.

Andrew mentally ran through everything that he knew. Neil was scared. He was running from someone, someone Kevin knew about? A zero on his phone from an unnamed number — a countdown, perhaps. He would never leave his things unattended, so maybe he wanted to tell Andrew he had been taken unwillingly, knowing that Andrew would never leave without him.

There was something he was missing, some vital piece of information that Neil hadn't told him that was causing this mess.

The guilty look on Kevin's face told Andrew everything he needed to know. He knew something.

He dumped Neil's things on the ground by Wymack's feet, mentally assessing himself. His cheek throbbed, each breath he took was sticky with sweat, his heart was pounding.

Neil was gone.

Andrew felt such a blind hot rage at that, the likes of which he hadn't felt in so long, the type where he felt like laughing at how cruel the world could be.

And before he could tell his body to stop, Andrew's hands were around Kevin's throat.

«««———»»»

"Shit Andrew! You're hurting— " "Andrew, stop— " "Get off of— "

«««———»»»

Andrew couldn't remember what happened after that, not immediately at least. It was a bit disorienting, going from a perfect recollection to being so overrun by anger that his mind went blank. Was this how everyone else felt all the time? He felt like someone just took out a Jenga piece from his mind, like it was close to collapsing.

Distantly, he recalled being yanked off of Kevin as he gasped some explanation about a mob boss, Kengo's right hand man, Nathaniel Wesninski. But none of it mattered. Andrew had broken his promise. He had hurt the person he had vowed to protect, just like so many had done to him.

And he still didn't have Neil.

«««———»»»

Neil used to make the emptiness a bit fuller, a bit easier to manage, Andrew thought. It felt so impossible to navigate himself now without Neil by Andrew's side.

«««———»»»

There was a hospital. A hotel. There were FBI agents. The news turned on. Off. On. There was another hotel. Handcuffs. Taken away.

«««———»»»

There was Nathaniel Neil. Standing in front of him. Blue eyes, wild hair, bandages unable to hide how irresistible he was, unable to stop the jolt in Andrew's heart.

There was Neil. And everything felt right again.

[funtimebunnyblog]

Does anyone remember that Game "Raymon Raving Rabbids"? 🤔 I used to adore that video game! 😍🥰 In fact, it was the first real video game I ever got! I played that thing on the Wii all through my childhood!

Anyways, there was a jump rope level that was my inspiration for this here! 🤔😇😘 I thought about what would happen in the Pillarmen's arena if you were playing a simple, everyday child's game; they would definitely up the intensity of it! (Like; Hopscotch: You're placed on a series of pedestals over an arena of fire and have to throw a bowling ball and jump from place to place while dodging knives. Chess: Your "pieces" are living Vampires that simply kill one another and move at each players command.) You probably get the idea! I’ll stop rambling now! 😇😇😇 Please enjoy (and please forgive me for being a little self indulgent once again 🤪)!

The Pillarmen play "jump rope" with you...

(Under the cut for length!)

"Begin, NOW!" Kars announced from his perch, an arm swinging downward as he gazed down into the arena from high above.

A flurry of cheers erupted from the stands at his command, hundreds of Vampires were already out of their seats, fists raised and cheering for the show to begin. It's what they had been waiting for, it was also what you were here for afterall...

However, all you could do was stare, tongue cleaved uncomfortably to the roof of your mouth as you stood there, wide eyed. It was like you had suddenly sprouted roots on the bare, rough dirt of the arena beneath your feet.

What... was that a--

Your opponents stood before you, Pillarmen Esidisi and Wamuu stood at 6ft distance from one another, arms swinging in unison; the metal of the heavy chain in their grasp clicked and clanked, swooping in the air in slow circles. The jingling of the steel kissing the solid ground with each swing was the only thing passing through your ears despite the din going on all around.

"What's the hold up, Human?" Esidisi was the first to speak, regarding you with a cocked eyebrow. "You have to jump in if you're still willing to play!"

There had to be some sort of miscommunication, some misunderstanding here, surely they weren't expecting you to jump using... that!

"You're not forfeiting now, are you?" The white-haired man questioned, his voice nothing but a mocking coo.

"But--" the words fumbled past your lips, eyes darting around but unable to take in any of the faces staring intently at you where you stood. "But this-- this is jump rope!"

Laughter echoed from all directions, an endless loop of taunting wheezing guffaw ringing out from the stands as Vampires chattered, pointing and laughing like Children gathered outside the monkey cage at the Zoo.

You, quite frankly, didn't see what was so very funny, your embarrassment and confusion only growing as the two Men before you joined in on the contagious fit laughter as well.

Wamuu's shoulders shook, the corner of his mouth turning up as he too regarded you.

"You may have got to pick the game, little one, but you seem to forget that this arena belongs to us..." he laughed. "Therefore, we pick the rope you will jump with. It is the same game, we simply play by different rules."

You felt your eyes turn upward, twisting your head fiercely to gaze up at Kars who sat high above the scene, only to be met with the sight of the wicked smirk stretching across his face. His eyes gleamed like fierce droplets of blood, cutting deep within you where you stood, even at this distance.

So that was his plan all along. He let you pick the challenge just so he could bend the rules, twist the game around in his favor without breaking them.

Cheating, lying, no good, rotten, Sons of--

"Go, Human!" The hard shove of the Vampire who had escorted you down here made you squak in surpise, stumbling forward into the line of the chain. "Lord Kars already called the match to start!"

You just barely missed the chain as it swung over your head the first time.

Whoosh!

You found yourself fumbling to find a foothold as it was suddenly swinging under you and you had to jump to miss it again.

Swoop!

"1!..." Wamuu started the count as your feet hit the ground the first time. "2!... 3!..." Every voice in the colluseum followed suit, Vampires counting in unison as you jumped up and down, just narrowly missing each slow and heavy swing of the rope.

This method required more patience than a standard rope, the chain they were using was awkward and lacked any sort of grace. If you waited too long to act the force of the swing would no doubt crack an ankle if you weren't careful.

You didn't know how good you would be at this while hopping up and down like a flamingo, you were clumsy enough as it was right here, right now, so it was better not to find out.

"5!... 6!.... 7!..." You could feel sweat starting to bead on your brow, trying hard to focus and not go a moment too soon or a moment too late with each swing that teetered on too fast and too slow. "10!... 11!... 12!..."

CLANK!

The swoop of the chain was drowned out by the hard slap of metal against the base of your skull, vibration ringing hard and intensely through your brain in overwhelming fuzzy static. Your body slammed just as hard against the dirt next, stars spotting rapidly in your vision as white, hot pain erupted like an angry volcano straight from your temple.

Cruel, mocking laughter swirled about you, far too distant sounding this time as you laid there, crumpled, a hand helplessly plastered against the spot where you had been thwacked.

You had jumped too soon.

The Earth rotated beneath you, suddenly you felt too far away from here, like you were falling downwards into a deep, dark rabbit hole.

"Awww, you didn't even make it to 15, little one!" Esidisi laughed, suddenly he was standing right over you, the massive mans shadow in the moonlight shrouded you like a cold blanket. "Hmm, maybe you should've picked Hopscotch instead. Now that would've been more fun, eh?..."

It was only then that you realized you were crying, a harsh wet sob was your only response to him as your hand pressed tighter into the wound, your body's instinctive way of attempting to stop the endless throbbing and the flow of blood now oozing through your fingers.

Dirt was in your mouth, gritting in your teeth and turning to mud on your tear-streaked and bloodied face.

You had lost the challenge. They played dirty and now you would suffer the consequences of losing.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair!

It was the only thing your brain could scream in the haze of pain and confusion. The world around you went black, the voices all around you fading into silence as you were grabbed and dragged from the arena.

What the next challenge held for you, if you were even aloud to do the next one, only time would tell...

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[klarolinelibrary]

Hi KC Readers,

After a long break, we are back with our weekly releases! We apologize for the delay but we have reached the end of the week which means we have new weekly releases for you! The stories below were updated during the week of May 22nd - May 28th.

Happy Reading!

FanFiction.Net

Something Like Love (Chapter 8)

Author: Recklessnesspersonified

Rating: M

Length: 20,346

Summary: Klaus Mikaelson was a bad boy, the quintessential jock or so Caroline Forbes had thought until one night their paths cross in the school hallways. He was different, intense and she was falling for him, but soon she finds out it was all a sham. Will she forgive him or would they break up before they confess their true love? AU/AH

Date of update: May 23 2021

Klaus POV - The Trouble with Spells (Chapter 26)

Author: ilovetf

Rating: M

Length: 105,863

Summary: I think the title is self explanatory. The Trouble with Spells as seen through Klaus's eyes and his POV. Over the years, people kept liking this story and some even asked for Klaus POV, so I decided to give it a try. Hope you enjoy it. All feedback is more than welcome. Good or bad.

Date of update: May 23 2021

High Stakes

Author: stardancer10

Rating: M

Length: 4,105

Summary: When Klaus died something in Caroline broke. She could not take anymore of Mystic Falls and she left. In her travels she finds herself doing things that she knew others wouldn't agree with, but she did what she felt was right. It was a gamble she was willing to take, something she felt that she owed him.

Date of update: May 23 2021

Purgatory (Chapter 22)

Author: Scarletborn

Rating: M

Length: 333,312

Summary: Caroline Forbes always thought that evil creatures and demons belonged to Hell. What she did not know was that vampires belonged to Purgatory. A place worse than hell where the only thing that mattered was survival. A place where enemies turned into allies and foes into friends. [Klaus/Caroline AU story set mostly in New Orleans]

Date of update: May 24 2021

The Wolf II (Chapter 11)

Author: yokan87

Rating: T

Length: 4,718

Summary: The Guerreras' threat still looms over the Mikaelson house as Caroline tries to adapt to life as a vampire, away from her daughter. But an unexpected family reunion makes everything worse, taking away the little peace Klaus, Caroline and Elijah managed to find after the war that nearly broke them. [It's TO S2, but Caroline was a witch, had Klaus' baby and now she's a vampire]

Date of update: May 26 2021

Vampires suck (Chapter 4)

Author: Miss.Mystic.Falls

Rating: T

Length: 5,583

Summary: What would happen if Caroline knew about vampires way before the Salvatore brothers come to Mystic Falls.

Date of update: May 28 2021

Archive of Our Own

No Reservations (Chapter 3)

Author:  PumpkinDoodles

Rating: M

Length: 6,890

Summary: Caroline Forbes is having a tiny crisis: her restaurant partner and co-chef has disappeared again and isn't returning her calls. Caroline cannot function without Stefan. Her kitchen staff starts making jokes about getting her meds for irritability and she takes out her issues on helpless chicken breasts. It's not fun on a good day. But when tragedy strikes, Caroline's forced to work with a new chef. She doesn't remember meeting him in New Orleans--but Klaus Mikaelson remembers her.

Date of update: May 22 2021

Sibling Rivalry Redux - Adventures in Polyamory (Chapter 3)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: M

Length: 4,105

Summary: In which Klaus and Rebekah are both bi, their taste in men and women overlaps infuriatingly often, and they argue over their newest shared interest. In which Caroline feels like she might be a sugar baby, but no one’s dating her and she hasn’t gotten any in so long. Like, basically since meeting her new best friends, Klaus and Rebekah. Weird, right?

Date of update: May 22 2021

Darkness Becomes Thee (Chapter 6)

Author: BelleMorte180

Rating: E

Length: 32,424

Summary: Austria 1300s When Klaus met a young girl on a riverbank, he knew that he would one day come back for her. When he looked into her bright blue eyes, he could see a reflection of his own soul, a darkness that lingered inside both of them. When the young girl turned into a beautiful woman with a thirst for blood, his fascination with her turns into obsession. He wants not only her loyalty but her eternity, a possessiveness that is equally returned. or my "Caroline is the serial killer Elizabeth Bathory" au.

Date of update: May 23 2021

The Big Bad Wolf (Chapter 9)

Author: MorningStarGirl666

Rating: M

Length: 66,087

Summary: He was the Big, Bad Wolf of this story, there was no doubt about that. But Caroline? She was the light to his darkness, the moon that shone brighter than even the stars in a sky of endless void. Like every wolf, he fell in love with the moon, and every month, he was destined to cry for a love he would never touch.

Date of update: May 23 2021

Klaus vs the Soulmate Goose

Author: kcatdino

Rating: T

Length: 2,129

Summary: Klaus has met his match in the form of a goose as immortal and obstinate as he is: The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement. Will he succeed in killing the magical creature or will it force him to accept what’s in his heart?

Date of update: May 23 2021

Louder Than Thunder (Chapter 28)

Author: khaleesiofthewolves

Rating: M

Length: 179,641

Summary: All Hell was about to break loose. After dying while protecting a grieving Klaus, Caroline finds herself sent back in time, and she's not who she once was. She's more. Back in Mystic Falls, something else is stirring. After the arrival of a mysterious figure from Klaus' past, it all comes to a head. It really is louder than thunder.

Date of update: May 24 2021

We are young (Chapter 17)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: T

Length: 20,572

Summary: Basically, Klaroline flirt in front of their kids who they are barely older than, and Landon is appropriately confused. Edit: Now a series of one-shots! Edit 2: Oh my god, this has plot now!

Date of update: May 24 2021

Our Time Now (Chapter 4)

Author: perfectpro

Rating: M

Length: 52,838

Summary: Caroline is going to spend her senior year getting into the law school of her choice, leading the cheerleading squad to a nationals title, and passing her sorority presidency to someone who will continue a legacy of excellence. She doesn't have time to figure out what's happening with her relationship with Klaus - not that it's much of a relationship to begin with.

Date of update: May 24 2021

I See Dead Cheerleaders (Chapter 4)

Author: PumpkinDoodles

Rating: M

Length: 7,865

Summary: When Caroline saves Jenna from Klaus's sacrifice ritual and is killed instead, she vows to haunt Klaus Mikaelson forever. Never underestimate the determination of Miss Mystic Falls.

Date of update: May 25 2021

Finding Out the Truth in a Year or Even in a Century

Author: klarolineshipperxoxo

Rating: G

Length: 1,348

Summary: Caroline goes with Stefan to New Orleans in search of Klaus 18 years after the events of TVD 5x22 and TO 1x22 but things don't go as planned and buried feelings are unearthed.

Date of update: May 25 2021

Klaroline Returns (Chapter 2)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: T

Length: 8,010

Summary: The savior of Gotham, Catwoman, is Caroline Forbes, flighty heiress by day. But what happens when her worlds collide in the form of reporter Klaus Mikaelson and her worst supervillain, The Hybrid?

Date of update: May 25 2021

witchy business (Chapter 4)

Author: MaddestMaid3n

Rating: M

Length: 13,783

Summary: "A little birdie told me you might have a book or two that might pique my interest,” “Well, that depends on your interests," Caroline's just trying to survive Marcel's New Orleans. Colluding with an Original was so not on her to-do list.

Date of update: May 25 2021

Klaus’ Thousand Year Plan to be Her Last (Chapter 3)

Author: anncatherine

Rating: T

Length: 4,022

Summary: So these are some missing Klaroline scenes from my Elena/Elijah soulmate fic that I couldn’t include because they either didn’t fit or needed to be form Klaus or Caroline’s pov. I think it would be helpful to read at least the first couple chapters of that for background, but basically at twelve people’s soulmate’s birthday shows up on their wrist.

Date of update: May 26 2021

what a wave you have made

Author: sekretny

Rating: T

Length: 3,413

Summary: “Do you really hate me this much?” She shouts in frustration. Klaus looks her in the eye, their gazes locked in a battle of fiery tempers. “Hate you…” He repeats with every ounce of venom he can muster. After ransacking the contents of his backpack, he removes a sketchbook Caroline has never seen before. He starts to flip furiously through the pages, “You have given me more than enough reasons to hate you, sweetheart,” he spits while he looks for a specific page. He finds it and turns the sketchbook around to show her. Klaus makes his feelings for Caroline visibly clear.

Date of update: May 26 2021

The Concept of Time (Chapter 3)

Author: BelleMorte180  

Rating: E

Length: 19,640

Summary: Pairs, France 1864 After learning some distressing news, Klaus seeks out the advice of a friend in the middle of the night and meets a mysterious woman who leaves him with more questions than answers. She hands him a journal filled with the mad ramblings about time by a man named Lorenzo St. John and sees a curious date tattooed on her shoulder. Klaus can think of little else after their first meeting and tracks her down at a burlesque club in the wrong part of the city. Klaus begins to wonder if he can solve the mystery of Caroline Forbes or simply be lost in what has deemed to be impossible.

Date of update: May 26 2021

Revenge of the Fifth - TVD Edition (Chapter 3)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: M

Length: 6,168

Summary: A star wars AU for vampire dairies for May the Fourth Be with You! Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena are padawan learners at Luke Skywalker’s new Jedi training academy, desperate to prove themselves by taking down some of the new Sith Lords that have popped up. The problem is, those Sith Lords are the Mikaelsons, and each girl has a Mikaelson brother obsessed with them, unwilling to let them come to harm. Will that make it harder or easier for them to triumph over the Dark Side?

Date of update: May 26 2021

Smoke Signals

Author: misssophiachase

Rating: T

Length: 3,017

Summary: "You, you must have been looking for me...sending smoke signals" Professional photographer Caroline Forbes and firefighter Klaus Mikaelson keep running into each other. It’s either the universe playing a joke on them or Katherine’s ‘accidental’ matchmaking. Or maybe it's a bit of both?

Date of update: May 27 2021

Reasons Not to Date a Mikaelson (Chapter 8)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: T

Length: 15,851

Summary: Bonnie and Caroline gain a new roommate for their freshman dorm when a vision leads them to tracking down a pregnant Hayley in the Rockies. Also, Bonnie may or may not have raised a certain dead Original instead of Jeremy and Klaus takes a job at Whitmore teaching, to be annoying. He’s very good at it. This is a season 5 rewrite where the Originals never leave for New Orleans. But you know, with comedy. And increasing angst with every chapter.

Date of update: May 27 2021

if you want me to fall (Chapter 2)

Author: FeyresUnbecoming

Rating: T

Length: 1,807

Summary: Caroline and Klaus scramble out of bed before Rebekah can find the two of them, lest she find out they've been sleeping together.

Date of update: May 27 2021

Good to you - Side Stories and Prompts

Author: originalhybridlover

Rating: T

Length: 801

Summary: So this is going to be a set a side stories or prompts related to my Klaroline story, Good to You

Date of update: May 28 2021

Genuine Beauty: Klaroline Canon-ish Drabble Collection

Author: Klauscarolove

Rating: M

Length: 30,884

Summary: Klaroline Drabble Collection: Close Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon-ish, Canon Universe....... basically if they are vampires in the drabble, it will go here.

Date of update: May 27 2021

Klaroline Storybook (Chapter 44)

Author: misssophiachase

Rating: T

Length: 63,904

Summary: A new selection of Klaroline drabbles

Date of update: May 28 2021

Lost Through Time (Chapter 7)

Author: Life_is_a_fantasy

Rating: Unavailable

Length: 4,173

Summary: What will happen when Hope, Landon, Lizzie and Josie fall through a time portal? Will they change things, even if they don't mean to? How will Klaus react to knowing his daughter has a boyfriend?

Date of update: May 28 2021

When your family is too nosy.... (Chapter 3)

Author: kcatdino

Rating: Unavailable

Length: 4,349

Summary: Klaus’s plan to get back at Rebekah by staying friends with Stefan backfires spectacularly when Stefan and Stefan’s ex-girlfriend Caroline convince him to fake a relationship at his family’s get-together at the beach. Sure, Rebekah will probably assume Caroline’s a prostitute and the rest of his family are too nosy for his own good, but what could go wrong? (I will add a rating later when I decide how explicit the smut will be)

Date of update: May 28 2021

LITTLE TENSE (Chapter 4)

Author: wincefish16

Rating: T

Length: 4,462

Summary: Klaroline's life together as they work in Mikaelson and co. Different snippets of their life. HUMAN, FULL OF FLUFF AND LITTLE BIT OF ANGST.

Date of update: May 28 2021

Like snow we melt, like rain we fall, like the sun we burn, in love. (Chapter 3)

Author: BlackRaven475932

Rating: M

Length: 4,088

Summary: after episode 5x11, Klaroline sex scene. Klaus and Caroline have a secret relationship. Teasing in public, a lot of smut, no one knows. WARNING, this story contains a blood kink in later chapters. If you don't like this then I advise you not to read it. It will occur in later chapters and I will give a warning before the chapter.

Date of update: May 28 2021

The Allure of Darkness (Chapter 2)

Author: Loveyou3000Klaroline

Rating: M

Length: 5,127

Summary: “Anything that’s worth anything is dangerous.” Or... Klaus Mikaelson is the big bad hybrid, but he is the only one who can make Caroline’s world stable. Especially after the lie of her life gets unraveled.

Date of update: May 28 2021

That Pesky Phone

Author: timetravelercat

Rating: T

Length: 1,029

Summary: "What was that?" he asked her curiously. She looked at him, embarrassed— —Wait, Caroline Forbes? Embarrassed?" Just Klaus," she answered simply, not giving him anymore details and averting her eyes. Huh, suspicious.

Date of update: May 28 2021

Ok, Cupids

Author: timetravelercat

Rating: T

Length: 795

Summary: Klaus and Caroline sign Stefan into an online dating site.

Date of update: May 28 2021

Available On Both Websites

FFN: The Traitor and the Coward (Chapter 6)

AO3: The Traitor and the Coward (Chapter 6)

Author: Uppity Bitch

Rating: M

Length: 10,677

Summary: Klaroline AU supernatural multi-chap - Original!Caroline has spent lifetimes running from her lover and his family. Despite the centuries of loneliness, she regrets nothing. Soon, she'll bring an end to this madness. Or bring the madness full circle.

Date of update: May 23 2021

FFN: What You Always Wanted

AO3: What You Always Wanted

Author: Eliliyah

Rating: M

Length: 2,646

Summary: After waiting a thousand years for her husband to break his hybrid curse, Caroline realizes Klaus neglected to mention that his next step was to build an army. Furious, she leaves him alone in Mystic Falls. Knowing there's only one way to make it up to her, Klaus shows up on her doorstep with the one person who can get him back in her good graces: their old friend, Stefan.

Date of update: May 26 2021

[toosicktoocare]

prompt:  if you are interested..! i’ve always been wondering what happened to jon once he was finally able to get treatment for his hand. burns get infected the most easily, is all i’m sayin, yknow? (love your work! have a great day)

I can finally write this because I finally got to that point in the podcast, lol

Set directly after episode 92, AKA the episode where the archives squad is finally reunited, Elias confesses, and general insane shit hits the fan that, as Tim so nicely puts, is the usual around here.

Little soft JonMartin just because 

Jon’s rummaging through the archives, briefly scanning statements he wants to take with him back to Georgie’s, the only distraction from his otherwise reeling mind. It’s almost funny, he thinks, how his mind has taken to an endless, internal monologue despite the very obvious pain drumming almost rhythmically against his temples. He’s lost in a whirlwind of how’s and what if’s, and the statements, he thinks... well, the statements may be the only drug that can temporarily take him away from himself.

“Jon?”

Jon jumps, not having heard the door open over the sound of his deep, frantic inner voice. He whips around, one file clutched a little too tightly to his chest, and sees Martin hovering in the doorway, almost as if he’s afraid to enter.

“Sorry,” Martin sputters softly. “I did knock.”

“It’s... fine,” Jon sighs out, the initial anger of being startled dissipating along a low breath. He studies Martin, eyes flicking all around for any sign of injury or distress, but Martin just looks hesitantly worried for him, and Jon finds that he has kind of missed that look.

“Are you alright?”

Though soft in tone, Jon can physically feel the weight behind each word in the short yet not so simple question. He debates on what he should tell Martin, or rather, if he should tell Martin anything, but his present, physical well-being comes back by a burning twinge across his burned hand from where he’s gripping the file too tightly. He hisses sharply between his teeth and lets the file fall from his hand.

“Jon! What’s wrong?” Martin’s already starting toward Jon, both hands reaching outward, and Jon quickly finds that his feet do not actually want to move, so, carefully, he extends his burned hand out away from where he’s had it cradled to his chest.

Martin’s fingers are incredibly gentle around Jon’s thin wrist, such a drastic contrast from the fear and worry so evident across his face.

“Oh, Jon... This... This doesn’t look good at all. Have you gone to get this looked over?” Martin’s careful as he twists Jon’s hand around, eyes sinking the more he takes in the angry red welts of what appears to be a rather aggressive burn.

“I haven’t had time,” Jon admits, detailing, to himself, the events of the last week that have taken up the time he should have been spending on looking after himself. “It’s been... Well, it’s been a week.” He laughs at this, small, bitter, yet alarmingly overwhelmed, and if not for Martin’s steady presence, he thinks he may just crumple to the floor. Still, his knees begin to shake, and Martin’s quick to catch on and guide him down into a chair.

“I’m going to get a first aid kit.”

“Martin,” Jon calls out, stopping Martin at the door.

Martin freezes and looks over his shoulder, his face an undistinguishable mess of emotions, and Jon swallows back the practiced words of “I’m fine,” saying instead, “thank you.”

The panic that flicks across Martin’s eyes doesn’t go unnoticed, and Jon quietly berates himself for always worrying his staff as Martin quickly disappears down the hall. He sinks back against his chair with a groan and cradles his hand to chest once more. For just a moment, he allows his head to tilt back against the chair until he’s starting at the dusty ceiling. He feels weak. He thought, considering Elias’s confession, that he would feel better now that he’s physically inside the archives, but he still feels relatively weak and slightly panicked. There’s a tightness pressing against his lungs, and he can only pin that on the apparent need to record statements.

“You’re still here, Jon.”

Jon musters up as much energy as he can to cast a sharp, dangerous gaze to Elias, who’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed casually.

“What do you want, Elias?”

“I didn’t see you leave. I was curious to know why you’re still here.”

“I’m-”

“He’s here for me.”

Jon’s jaw snaps shut, and he leans forward, eager, curious, for he’s never heard Martin speak with a tone of finality such as that. He watches, both brows raised, as Martin squeezes past Elias to get into the archives, and he’s unable to pry his eyes away as Martin drops to a crouch in front of him and opens the first aid kit.

“You’re hurt-”

“Will that be all, Elias?”

Martin looks over his shoulder toward Elias, and Jon can make out the tension tightening Martin’s muscles through the sudden defensive, stiffness of Martin’s back and shoulders. 

Jon holds his breath, almost afraid to see the scene play out, but Elias lets his arms fall to his side in a visble show of defeat.

“Of course. I’m sure you’ll see that Jon is tended to.” He disappears down the hall, and Jon swallows thickly, a lump forming in his throat. 

Martin’s uncharacteristically quiet as he pulls supplies out of the first aid kit, and he wordlessly holds his hand out, prompting Jon to drop his burned hand atop Martin’s outstretched palm.

“I’ll do what I can, but you should still probably go to a clinic.” Martin says, pulling out an antiseptic cream. “This is going to sting, but we need to try and prevent infection.”

Jon can only nod with eyes shut tight and grit his teeth as Martin begins smoothing the cream over his hand. It burns terribly, but, it’s an almost nice distraction from everything else that invading his thoughts. And, he thinks, at least the clear presence of pain means he’s still somewhat human. The bandaging that follows doesn’t hurt as bad, and Jon manages to pry his eyes open to watch Martin’s delicate yet thorough work.

When Martin’s sure he’s finished, after having studied every inch of Jon’s wrapped hand, Jon doesn’t pull his hand away, and Martin doesn’t let go.

“Are you alright?”

It’s the second time Martin’s uttered that single question, and Jon shakes his head, his hair slipping from where he’s had it tucked behind his ears to now frame darkly around his face. “Are you?” He asks, voice cracking slightly.

“Christ no,” Martin laughs, nervous, and his fingers thighten just a fraction around Jon’s hand. “We’ve been doing our best to get on without you here, but...” Martin drops his free hand atop Jon’s knee. “It’s just not the same without you here. Tim’s been absent more than he’s been here, Melanie... well, she’s great actually, but now she’s bound to this place like the rest of us. What’s with that anyway? Our hearts out now connected to this place?” He realizes, a breath too late, that he’s rambling and that Jon’s grimacing before him, and he stops himself with a low sigh. “Sorry, everything’s just really screwed up right now.”

“I know,” Jon manages, voice barely above a whisper. He shivers slightly, feeling suddenly cold, and Martin frowns at him for the umpteenth time in the fifteen minutes they’ve been together.

“Cold?”

Jon nods, feeling an odd chill washing over him, and Martin leans forward to brush the back of his hand to Jon’s cheek.

“You’re quite warm actually. I think you’re running a fever.”

“That would explain the splitting headache,” Jon mutters, wincing when Martin cups his palm over Jon’s injured hand once more, a little less gentle than he’s been thus far.

“Your hand is really hot. This may already be infected. Jon, you should-”

“Martin, it’s fine,” Jon says, though even he can’t quite believe himself. “I just haven’t been sleeping well. Every time I try, this overwhelming feeling of dread washes over me and constricts my lungs. I think...” He pauses, eyes dragging toward the pile of statements he’s handpicked so far. “I think having those nearby will help.”

“Jon, that’s not okay. You’ll work yourself to death.”

“I have to work, Martin,” Jon says, voice low, leaving little room for argument, and Martin nods and slowly gets to his feet.

“Fine, but promise you’ll sleep first. And that you’ll get yourself to a clinic for your hand. I’m not above following you to wherever you are staying and taking you to a clinic myself, you know.”

“I know,” Jon mumbles, a hint of a smile trying to creep at his lips. He grabs the files, careful of his hand, and starts toward the door, stopping when Martin calls out to him.

“Jon?”

He looks back, one brow raised in silent question.

“Could you... Well, do you think you could...”

“Go on, Martin,” Jon presses, voice sounding more demanding than he means for it to.

“Can you text me?” Martin flushes at the look Jon shoots him. “Not like that! Or... Well... It’s just... You disappeared, Jon, and I was really worried. Could you just text me every now and then so I’ll know you’re okay?”

Jon can feel a similar flush burning up his neck to his cheeks, and he looks away quickly and clears his throat. “Sure,” he stutters out. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thank you.”

Jon forces himself out of the room, fleeing the weight of those two words that are threatening to squeeze his rapid heart into thousands of fragments. He keeps his eyes cast to the ground, moving on muscle memory alone, and he doesn’t look up, doesn’t even breathe, until he’s standing outside in the chilly air. He turns around and cranes his neck to view the building in its towering entirety, and as if it means anything or holds even the slightest inch of power, he mumbles quietly into the cold air.

“Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt any of them.”