#isabelle watches breaking bad

[izzythehutt]

I love that there's really no "scientific" explanation for why Walt and Jesse are the only people who can perfectly cook the blue meth. It essentially functions as a kind of alchemical sorcery, the supernatural, demonic gift born from their twisted pact with the devil, their souls in exchange for the partnership and the "blue stuff."

It keeps them coming back together over and over again ("Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine.") and tears them apart (Gus only needs one person to cook it, and so he turns them against each other.) It's what Gus needs from Walt for his revenge on the cartel and motivates his manipulation of Walter back into the drug business, it's the one thing Jesse believes he's ever been good at so he goes back to doing it alone—until Hank's pursuit of them drives him back into his old partner's waiting arms, because however brilliant of a chemist Gale Boetticher is, he's not Jesse, the only partner in Walter White's life of crime he's ever actually wanted.

Jesse believes his gift the only reason Walt ever cared about him ("[Walt] made you a 50-50 partner. He didn't need to do that." "Yeah, he sort of did. I'm the only one near as good as him, so...") The happiest the two of them ever were in their partnership, the most emotionally fulfilled, peaceful and in-sync they ever were, was when they were making the blue stuff together.

Literal chemical poison.

The promise of Heisenberg's talent is what motivates Jack to come to the To'hajiilee even after he calls off the hit, when Walt himself is ready for it to be over, the fact that only Jesse can compare in skill is why he's kept alive, enslaved (as all are enslaved to sin), forced to make this perfect, blood-soaked poison or see his loved ones killed, one by one.

It's neither chemistry nor art. It's a perfect, crystal blue prison that binds them together and trapped them in a cycle of pain, death and betrayal.

[heartilywrites]

♡ — Love like you ; H. Callahan

cw: THIS IS A MINORS DNI !! cheating, some angst, but I didn't went straight to it-, cheerleader!reader, fluff, a moment of josabel because I love them, it gets +18 after the bold letters [fingering, top!Hazel, public sex]

word count: 2.9k

a/n: this is the beginning of my cheerleader!reader x loser!hazel brainrot. it wasn't suppose to end up with smut but I got carried away with the ~feels~. hope you enjoy!

“ 𝓣he sound of you calling for my name, I want to hear it. ”

Hazel felt miserable, she felt like the whole world lost its meaning as soon as you walked away.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You. . . You're breaking up with me?” your voice whispered, with tears accumulating on your eyes and your hands slowly back down from her face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I am so sorry, I really am.” she continued to say after that, your whole body moved away from the girl and that made her heart break even more. “I just don't like the idea of people judging you for being with me.”

Your frown turned from confused to angry. “Is someone saying anything to you?” A couple of football players, she thought quickly, but instead of saying it, she shook her head. “I don't get it then, I– you–” no coherent words came out of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm sorry.” was the last thing you heard before standing from the bench and walk away with your heart in your hands and the flowers that you were going to give her to match on prom in your bag.

Hazel wasn't really one to think about what people said about her, but it did got to her how the football players were teasing or making fun of you. She loved you as much as you loved her, she was aware of that, so it hurt three times more when she saw you on halls after that and you ignored her.

Eye bags badly covered with concealer, your nose and eyes was red almost everyday and Isabel never left your side while Brittany was getting your stuff. She felt horrible looking how much she hurt you, but she was as bad as you were and you knew that, you've been watching her.

On the cafeteria, playing with your food while Isabel told you that you should eat something, your eyes were static on Hazel's silhouette as you were doing for weeks now, but she didn't notice that. Isabel followed your gaze when she saw you distracted, she sighed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You should move on from her, darling.” you heard snapping back, turning to your friend when Hazel turned to you without giving her the satisfaction of seeing your gaze on her.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm trying, I don’t know what else to do. . .” your voice sounded weak, Isabel hugged you before you started to cry.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, maybe we can—” a male voice calling for you interrupted your talk, both of you turned to said voice.

A football player was standing infront of your table with a bouquet of flowers on his hands and a sweet smile on his face, you tried to smiled back at him. “Hey, Kev, can I help you?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You know, I was just thinking. You're a girl, a cheerleader, I'm a boy, a player, and I also like you. . . I wanted to know if you want to go out with me. Tonight.” he explained, you blinked surprised at the sudden confession while he extended the flowers your way.

A quick look was shot to Hazel's way and you could see her take her things and starting to walk away, so you turned to the boy and faked a smile. “I would love to!” you exclaimed loud enough, seeing how your ex stopped for a second on place. She didn't look back to you or her friends, a second later, she walked faster away.

And after that you and. . . Oh, yeah, Kevin, you and Kevin started dating. It really wasn't that good of a relationship, but it did help you to get your head out of Hazel.

He showered you in gifts, most of them being papers with simple 'I love you' or a single rose and you thought about those gifts Hazel would get you; your favorite candies, a funny card she bought at a store that reminded her of you, something significant for the both of you, hand-made hearts she did in classes where you weren't with her. . . All of those gift you still have on a box in home, the same gifts you looked at when you arrived home after going out with your new boyfriend and smiled at them with nostalgia.

Maybe you didn't really moved on from her and that was what scared you a bit, she was always present in the back of your mind and you just wanted for it to stop, knowing it wasn't really healthy. You wanted to move on from her, but you were sure she was your great love.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “And that's how I saved the game.” your boyfriend finished the story while you zoned out with your face in one hand.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's great, babe, you're a hero.” an automated response came from your way, the bell finally rang and you started to collect your things.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, I'll take it.” he said moving his hand to your backpack and you smiled at him, shaking your head.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, Kev, I got it.” you said, “I just need to go to the ladies room before chemistry, alright?” before he could answer you gave him a kiss on the lips and walked with hurry to the bathroom.

When opening the door your eyes met those green ones that you missed so much, both of you froze in spot.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey. . .” Hazel whispered like she was running out of air. You smiled a bit and waved. “You, uh, you look great. . .”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Thanks.” you said back at her. “You too.”

A small thank you left her mouth. Another silence, “Listen, uh, I'm really sorry how things ended–”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, Hazel. . .” her name fell from your lips like butter and she almost melt to the sound of it. “I guess we're better now.”

She nodded a bit, with a tiny pout on her lips. “O–Okay, I. . . I have to go to class.” she said making her way to you, you nodded too and made space for her to go through.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hope to see you at prom.” you said, she smiled at you and you slipped in to the bathroom.

Hazel was not going at prom at first. She didn't want to see how the love of her life was dancing, smiling and having fun with some douche while she was sitting on a table with her friends. But that was until she got to her locker and a plastic box fell from it, she changed her mind.

“ I bought it for you a month ago and if you're going it needs to be with style, maybe you'll conquer a girl's heart like you did with mine. ” and your name as a signature. She had to go now.

Asking for money from her mom to buy a last minute suit and going from mall to mall was what Hazel's afternoon consisted. She dragged Josie and PJ with her to help her get a cute one, one that you may like and Josie knew from a very confidential and trustworthy source —ahem, Isabel— which color you picked for your dress, so they based that for her suit.

Prom night came along and everyone was arriving at the gym. You arrived with your friends instead of your boyfriend, who was arriving with the team.

A beautiful long dark green dress with a opening on your left leg was your outfit that night, along with high heels and on your wrist two flowers: the one that your boyfriend got you that was in a red color and the one you got for Hazel and you in a white color.

The night was pretty calm while you where there, you danced with your friends and one slow song with your boyfriend and it was already two hours in.

Hazel arrived a bit late, nervous for that night, but as soon as she saw you dance with Brittany, all her worries disappeared.

She went to sit with her friends when she got to distinguish them and was received with a bunch of whistles and claps.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, Hazel, coming to get some tonight!” PJ laughed when her friend made a turn on herself and the comment made her blush. “Go get your girl, dude, she's been looking at us all night waiting for you.”

Hazel shook her head nervous again, Josie stood up and took her by the arm. “Let's go, Romeo.” she said while dragging her to the dance floor.

You were dancing your heart out with Isabel, laughing a bit when you saw how Brittany started to dance with someone else and made kissing noises to her, she clearly just flipped you.

When Josie arrived you greet at her with a smile, expression that widened when your eyes locked with Hazel's.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hello, ladies; I came to take my girlfriend so we can dance a bit and in exchange I got you a dance partner.” Josie said pointing to Hazel, she waved awkwardly. The girl took her girlfriend's hand and started to make her way to the center of the dance floor.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey!” you screamed a bit because of the music, she smiled big and greeted back. “You look pretty!”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You look so gorgeous.” she said, that comment made you blush and laugh a bit. Conveniently, a slow song started to play and both of you blinked surprised. “Do you. . . want to dance?”

You nodded while smiling. At the DJ set-up, Josie asked him to play the most romantic and slow song he had on the playlist. “Oh, you did this for them, didn't you?” Isabel asked acknowledging her plan.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Kinda, I did it for us too, we haven't slow danced in the night and I think that should be illegal.” Josie responded, getting a laugh from her girlfriend before she rested her arms on her shoulders.

Just as you did with Hazel, you knew your boyfriend was doing something stupid outside so you didn't care about it. Her hands hugged your waist cautiously and you swore that contact almost made you fall.

Neither of you broke the eye contact from each other, feeling as if it was only the two of you in the dance floor.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I've missed you.” the girl infront of you started to talk, your brows rose. “You have no idea how much I've missed you.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I've missed you too. . .” you whispered, getting closer to her, smiling with tenderness. “You, your kisses, your hands, your words. . .” both faces were dangerously close.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm really sorry, I shouldn't break things up, you're the best I have.” that was all you needed to hear before making your lips meet hers.

Both mouths moving with such synchronization, you knew how well you both worked together and that made you know how bad a decision was to leave each other.

The kiss turned from sweet and tender to desperate and passional, your hands tangled in her hair and her tongue asked for access to your mouth, before you could let her she stopped the gesture making you follow her head for her lips again.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We. . . Let's go.” Hazel took your wrist and started to make her way, you following closer.

Even though it wasn't the most creative of places, Hazel got both of you in the bathroom. Making sure it was empty, she attacked your lips again, fully asking for access to your mouth at the beginning, action that you granted and followed.

She walked backwards without stopping the action and got into a stall, closing the door after you and pushing you against it, locking you between her arm while the other was on your waist.

Soft moans vibrated on your throat and drowned against the girl's mouth while your hands pull her closer asking for her body to be on yours and your left leg rose a bit to her side to have Hazel between you. When she pushed away for air, your mouth was quick to make her way through her jaw and neck, getting to a weak spot and hearing her moan, you smiled with satisfaction. Your lips attended that area and made a hickey, in your most foggy thinking and still wanting to claim her.

Hazel took your face in her free hand to make you look at her with a mischievous smile.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You missed me that much, huh?” she said hoarsely and you bit your bottom lip while nodding.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I told you, I missed your hands.” you responded seductively. “Did you miss me?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Honey, every night.” she answered, attacking your lips once again. The hand she had on your waist started to make her way under your dress and playing with your underwear.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel~” your voice called needy for your ex. “Please, baby, I've missed you.” your hips moved a bit while you made a pouty face. “You owe me.”

She laughed for a moment, before making her nose touch yours. “But have you been good? Has he not attended my pretty girl how she deserves while I was gone?” she asked against your lips.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “He doesn't know how, I'm tired of him.” you growled with a disgusted face, switching to pout again. Hazel laughed again. “Make me feel good, my love.” a plead came from you, your hand resting on her the arm playing with your sanity.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “My baby is needy of me, huh?” before you could answer to her question, her hand rubbed against you and you let out a moan. “Call my name, I want to hear you.”

You said as demanded, her name falling from your mouth with a moan and Hazel was delighted at that sound, the one she missed to hear from you while asking her for more while you were underneath her body.

With such agile one of her digits began to enter you slowly, your mouth opened at the feeling of her.

When she was about to speak, the door to the bathroom opened, both of you froze with eyes widened. The sound of two girls talking filled the room while they were doing their make-up.

You look at Hazel and notice a malicious smile on her, your head was shaking and before you could stop her another finger was inside you and the hand she had beside you was now on your mouth to muffled any sound.

You felt your heartbeat raise as soon as Hazel's fingers began to move inside you. You did tried to not moan loudly, pressing the hand on your mouth with one of your own so your sounds wouldn't be as loud.

Her pace fastened and your eyes closed when a third digits was added, her thumb looked to satisfy your clit with circle caressings.

For what you felt an eternity, the girls walked back out while laughing about some joke one of them told and you moved Hazel's hand from your mouth. “You're a bitch.” you moaned and Hazel's brows raised with fun.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's not nice, hun.” she laughed, in a fast move she made you face the door and began to take back her pace in you, with her free hand she tugged your hair away from your shoulder and leave a kiss there while you throw your head back. “You love it.”

Her free hand took care of your breast, giving it squeezes and her mouth left wet kisses on your neck.

You felt overwhelmed by all the attention given, your abdomen felt tight, giving you an alert that you were so near.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel, baby.” you called again, she knew exactly what was about to happen, so her pace speeded one more time making you melt into moans and irregular breaths.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Do it, darling, come for me. I want to hear you.”

And one moment after, you cried out as you reached your climax. Your forehead rested against the door, feeling a little bit lightheaded, Hazel came out of you and turned you around. Now the kiss she left was sweet and she smiled with such innocence that made you laugh.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, god, I hope you brought more make–up.” she said with her eyes a bit widen.

Making sure no one was there you both left the stall and your jaw dropped at your own image in the mirror. “Hazel, what the fuck!”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You loved it, don't lie.” she said after washing her hands and hugging you from behind while you where removing the lipstick and mascara ruined on your face. “You look gorgeous; with make-up, without make-up, all fucked up by me.”

You laughed loudly at that and once you finished cleaning your face you turned around to face her. “My place? No one's home and you still owe me, darling.”

Nodding with a big smile, both of you were quick to get out of the dance without saying goodbye to anyone and taking Hazel's car as you took Isabel's.

Later you were going to text. . . Yeah! Kevin! To tell him that you were over, but as in for right now, Hazel and you needed to get up-to-date about a bunch of stuff.

[strawberryblue-blog]

Goodbye, Ruben. —Ruben Dias.

summary: You see Ruben again after breaking up and you realize that you never got over him

warnings: none. depression, mention of alcohol and smoking, angst.

word count: +4k.

The darkness of the night embraced you as you watched the group of people outside. You had arrived a few minutes ago at the restaurant where Jack's birthday was being celebrated but you were still outside, undecided if you really wanted to go in.

In your hands you held the present you had bought for your friend, Jack, your legs shivered in the cold of the city (or out of anxiety about facing your biggest fear). Manchester was a cold city in winter surrounded by small snowdrops that adorned the surroundings and the houses in the neighborhood. You liked Manchester, the neighborhood reminded you of your daily trips to the city center.

Many feelings crossed your mind when you saw the picture in front of your eyes, your closest friends, Jack and Sasha hugging each other while you could see the others chatting and laughing around the table. But you could especially see the new couple at the side of the table with their backs to you, chatting animatedly.

Disappointment and sadness gripped your heart and you sighed wistfully looking at them. The reason for your hesitation in coming had clearly been because of them. To think that a few months ago it was you who was under their arms in that same situation but now everything had changed.

You perked up when you saw the birthday boy get up from the table and see you standing out there. Jack smiled cheerfully inviting you in with his hand, which you had to obey taking all your thoughts away. You walked through the door and the warmth of the place greeted you, plucking up the courage to take off the jacket you were wearing and start walking towards the group of people partying.

"Hello Jack" you greeted with a smile to the man who opened his arms welcoming you in a warm embrace.

"I was just about to send someone for you" he said wrapping his arms around you.

"The subway had a delay, I apologize for making you wait" you apologized sincerely.

The truth that dealing with the tube in Manchester was a bit busy these days and after work, there were usually delays or lots of people trying to get home and it got complicated.

"The boys could have come through for you, I told you to let me know and I'd arrange everything" he continued as he broke off.

"I'm already here" you laughed and lifted the gift to reach for it. Jack shook his head with a big smile thanking you.

"Y/n!" you heard a shout behind him. Sasha appeared with her splendid aura and that gleaming smile.

She hugged you tightly and behind her you could see a few faces turning to look at you, as her scream had caught the attention of a few. Shyly you smiled a little towards them, stroking Sasha's back.

"We were waiting for you" she mentioned taking you by the hand.

You felt a little bad, they were probably hungry and tired after training but they had been kind enough to wait for you, even when you were making time out there not to come in. Sasha led you in and sat you down between Ines and Isabel, who greeted you kindly when you joined them.

You had known everyone for a few years, you had been friends with Jack since high school and Sasha always invited you to games, practices and anything that included fun. You were very grateful to them, because they had been your friends forever.

"How have you been?" asked Ines interested.

"We haven't seen you for a few months" Isabel followed her.

"Work has me busy and I'm also applying for a promotion, I have to work hard" you said trying to sound happy.

On one hand it was true, on the other it was a lie. You had already received the promotion at your job and now you were on another schedule, something you had to work hard for but you were no longer going out with them or going to see Jack for another reason.

A reason that only you knew.

"When you get the promotion, you'll have to come back and hang out with us, we miss you" Isabel mentioned and you nodded smiling.

They were very nice to you, they all were. Even the girls that you didn't have much contact with or didn't know but because they were friends with Sasha they sometimes hung out together. They always came up to you and included you even though you were nobody to them.

Your eyes met the pair of brown eyes a few feet away from you, you quickly dodged their gaze pretending to see something else. Your heart broke into a thousand pieces. The hollowness in your chest echoed and you wanted to run away but you forced yourself to keep your posture.

Ruben Dias, was sitting a few feet away from you. He looked different from the last time you had seen him a few months ago, his hair was longer not to say long, his beard was a little darker, he had even changed his style of clothing. He looked beautiful, just as you remembered.

But now he was a complete stranger.

You stirred in your seat, turning to the girls to stop feeling their presence. But it was impossible.

How were you going to pretend you didn't know him when he was all you thought about? How were you going to get over him when you guys had never had anything? How were you going to act like everything was okay when next to him was a young, beautiful woman?

You took a sip from your glass, wine was something you had never liked before but after so much sadness and loneliness, you had started to drink often when you had slumps. So you hoped that at least chatting with the girls would take the focus off their presence. The conversation became more bearable and you listened to Ines talk to you about her pregnancy, her excitement was admirable and you were happy for her. But you were starting to feel more anxious as you felt the stares on you and the pressure in your chest for not being able to get over it. So after a while of chatting you excused yourself to go outside for some air.

You put your coat back on and your bag, opening the door of the restaurant to go out into the silence. You walked down the sidewalk waving to them as they saw you smile and you reached into your purse. You grabbed the box of cigarettes and the lighter, bringing one to your mouth to light it. You had quit smoking a few months ago but lately your vices had returned and you blamed it on your depression and anxiety, something you were treating with your therapist but still couldn't quit.

The sensation of the nicotine in your system made you shiver and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You quickly wiped them away as they slid down your cheeks.

Thoughts came snatching back against your mind when you heard Ruben's laughter above all others. Something inside you stirred and made you vibrate. He sounded just like you remembered, manly, strong and warm. And then you knew you weren't over him.

You weren't over Ruben Dias and you weren't sure if you ever could be.

How were you going to explain to your heart that you weren't who you used to be? How were you going to trick your heart into telling him that you never had anything serious? How could you believe that he could ever be in love with you? When you had clearly been a distraction to him.

Because that's how you remembered your relationship with Ruben. A distraction. Only for you it never had been.

It all started when he broke up with his last girlfriend, you already knew each other but you weren't really friends. Jack started to invite him more to your get-togethers, he even tried to get you two to go out but he was just getting out of a relationship and you weren't interested in going out at that time. But you began to grow closer with every time you saw each other, chatting animatedly and then meeting up to get to know each other. Coffee mornings, tea afternoons and delicious dinners. Which led to one thing leading to another and after so many outings together, you slept together.

You had both agreed not to tell your friends, it was obvious it had been a one time thing but then you kept doing it over and over again. Not once, not twice. You met when you could, two or three times a week, at his place or yours. Big mistake. You should have put a stop to it when you could but you decided to keep going and thought this would last.

And now you definitely regretted it.

You had really believed that Ruben would choose you. You had really believed that he would fall in love and you would be together forever. You had been deluded. You thought you guys would live in a princess fairy tale, that you had found your prince charming and all that crap.

You had never pretended that he saw you as a girlfriend, you weren't like that. But you didn't think he saw you as anyone else either. You knew he wasn't ready for that yet, he had come out of a relationship of years but at least you believed you had something real. He looked real next to you.

But now you were in a gray story, where there were no good mornings or good nights, only endless days where the only thing you wanted was to erase all your feelings for him and disappear.

Because you really fell in love with him. You had spent the whole summer seeing each other on the sly but when winter came, it was all over. Winter brought disappointment, sadness and coldness.

You hated to admit that you had fallen in love and that the idiot had been you, believing that you had something serious when you had only been a friend to Ruben. A friend he used when he needed and discarded when he found someone else. Because that's how you felt, abandoned and dirty, like you were the plague itself. There was no explanation, no reason, he couldn't even tell you to your face. He just sent a message saying you couldn't see each other anymore and then ignored any sign of you, leaving you to lie in wait with all your feelings.

But it was your fault.

You had made up this story all by yourself. There was no love, no reciprocity. You were just his fuck buddy, the one he had left with his heart on his sleeve and broke it when a week after ignoring you he showed up with his new girlfriend. A famous, gorgeous, brand name model, good body and emotional stability, everything you had been lacking. Definitely the perfect person he had replaced you with.

You were embarrassed and humiliated to come here tonight, knowing he would be here. That's why you had stopped going to games and dinners, excusing yourself with anything. You couldn't even look him in the eye without thinking how stupid you were to try to fix things between you. Which you couldn't do because he had never seen you otherwise, just his distraction when he needed it most. And you had really come to think that he was in love with you because of how he looked at you, how he pampered you, how he took you to fancy and nice places, because every morning he woke up next to you and made you breakfast, because you ran away from his friends and kissed behind his back. Because he knew everything about you, what made you strong and what made you weak, your pleasure, your personality, your essence.

You had given him your being. All of you, even though you didn't expect anything from him. And you didn't really get it. You got nothing but a harsh message and a terrible end for you.

Tears streamed down your cheek as you kept puffing on your cigarette, it was the second one you had lit and you had never been like this before but you couldn't calm your cravings. You weren't going back in there and it was heartbreaking to leave Jack and the girls but it didn't make sense anymore.

You had never really belonged to that world.

You were a simple young woman who worked for a living, barely made ends meet on her salary and didn't have many friends. You weren't pretty, you weren't slender, you weren't famous, you didn't even know if your personality matched. Maybe all this time you had been forcing something you knew wouldn't work but wished it would and it hadn't. How could you expect a top soccer player to fall in love with you? He was rich, famous and handsome. He had everything at his feet, including you.

That was what love was like. That was life. All that was left was to live.

You threw away the cigarette butt and lit your coat, determined to leave. Then you would find an excuse and tell them, it wasn't like they noticed your presence much either. The party was still going on in there and everyone was enjoying themselves happily but you were tired of pretending.

"Won't you say goodbye?" you stopped dead in your tracks when you heard the question.

You didn't want to lie down and let him see you like that. You didn't want to feel his pity or worse, for him to treat you indifferently. You couldn't feel it all over again, it was going to kill you. You didn't say anything, you just lifted your shoulders.

"Sasha won't let me go if I go back inside and it's already late, the last train is in ten minutes" you mentioned with a half smile, trying to sound polite.

Ruben nodded. "I can give you a ride, if you want" he said.

Your heart clenched in your chest. Of course you wanted, you wanted everything from him but you couldn't accept anything else.

"I don't mean to intrude, thank you for offering" you thanked him walking to continue your journey.

Every second that passed you ached to see him there.

"You know Jack would never forgive me if I let you go by yourself" he insisted following you and with every step behind you, you heard voices saying 'don't leave him'.

What the fuck did he care now? If he was trying to be polite and kind, he shouldn't. He'd hurt you enough without caring now. He hadn't even bothered to say why he was breaking up with you, he didn't have to care now when you were nothing anymore.

"Goodbye, Ruben" you said in a whisper.

You wanted to make it clear to him that you didn't need him and that this was goodbye, at least from you.

At least one of us knew how to say goodbye.

Your feet moved on their own, leading you away from the place. You weren't going to look back and sighed when you heard your name called but you walked away quickly. You crossed the empty street feeling the tears stinging in your eyes but they refused to come out as you were in a hurry to get to the subway. You needed to get home so you could cry in solitude and in your peace. Everything was empty, few people trying to get to their homes and you were one more as you sat in the lonely train car. You snorted as you felt the train start to move, soon you would be home and you wanted nothing more than that.

The reflection of the glass reflected your silhouette inside the carriage, outside, the cold Manchester night. The silence was intermittent, accompanied by your agitated breathing and the noises of the train. Through the reflection you saw the silhouette of someone walking behind you in the aisle, silently, sitting a few feet behind you. You didn't think much of it.

You didn't even want to look. The person's face was blurred by the lighting in the carriage but you could see a male figure. Your eyes imagined the unimaginable, your mind remembered what made you ache the most, you could smell his scent, hear his breathing, you even felt his presence. You denied noticing the illusion you were living.

You were really crazy. The lack of sleep, your depression and your mess were making you see things that weren't really there.

The lack of Ruben in your life was starting to hit you hard and you had never gone through anything like this before with a broken heart. Because you were really shattered, completely broken with an illusion that you yourself had created. Now you imagined him next to you, sitting there, holding your hand. Nothing was real, you didn't even know if your feelings were real anymore. It had happened so suddenly, you had let yourself be carried away by your love for him, you had lost everything.

It was silly to think you knew everything about him, his favorite food, his favorite perfume, you knew his tastes and pleasures, his dreams, his goals and his cons. You knew perfectly what he felt after losing or winning a game, every smile when he was called up or every cry when he was injured, you had been in his best moments and his worst. All in secret. Without telling anyone, being like friends all this time, only you were the one who acted.

He knew everything about you, or so you liked to think. You had come to think that he really knew you, that he really belonged to you, when he would pick you up after work or take you home after games, when he would knock on your door with your favorite ice cream flavors, when he would ask you every morning if you had rested well or how he encouraged you to apply for the promotion. Now you couldn't even tell him that if you got promoted, I'm sure he'd be proud, since he always said it. But nothing made sense anymore.

He wasn't here, he wasn't beside you, he wasn't behind you, he wasn't even thinking about you. It didn't matter anymore, you wanted to forget him.

What starts wrong, ends wrong. Many people used to say.

But you were going to forget him.

For your sake and his, you had to.

You closed your eyes and leaned against the window, trying to calm the tears that kept coming. You were tired, you just wanted to sleep. Maybe when you woke up it would all go away.

The sound of the loudspeakers announcing the stop made you jump out of your seat, you had closed your eyes for a few seconds and lost yourself in the feeling of warmth. You stood up from your place and turned around when you noticed everything empty, you had already arrived at your stop. You reached a little way out into the aisle when your eyes caught sight of a piece of paper on the empty seat next to you.

Confused you reached out to take it, you didn't remember if it had been there when you came anyway it was your responsibility as a citizen to throw it where it belonged. So you took it and opened it at least to see what it was about.

I don't expect you to be able to forgive me, i wouldn't do that. I just want you to move on, i don't deserve your pain. I am so sorry. R. D.

You read and were stunned.

You stood there in the aisle of the empty carriage with the note in your hands. How had it gotten there? Had Ruben really been sitting a few feet behind you? A tear spilled down your cheek, your heart turned over in pain. You hadn't imagined it then. You had sensed his scent, his aura, his being.

Why hadn't he told you more? What did that mean? Although you already knew perfectly well what that message was about.

It was a farewell. He was letting you go and he was asking you to let him go.

Maybe it was the right thing to do.

To let go of everything that dragged you down.

For you, for your heart.

You crumpled the paper and walked out of the car, dropping the note in the trash can.

Goodbye, Ruben.

[hazenllas]

Can't Get Enough II Hazel Callahan

Pairings: Hazel Callahan x reader

Warnings(?): kissing, tiny bit of angst, mentions of break up, fluff at the end

(Apologies for any spelling mistakes, english isn't my first language)

Summary: After 7 months without any contact with each other, you somehow end up at your ex's front door?

"So, your'e breaking up with me? Over long distance? Hazel, we can figure it out somehow. I promise you." You say with tears welling up in your eyes.

You are moving across the state because your mother found a new job and you have no other choice but to join her.

"Y/n, you know how i feel about long distance relationship! We will lose contact and find someone better! This is just the way it has to be, i'm sorry." Hazel states holding your small hands in her big ones while looking int your eyes searching for an answer.

"Whatever, Hazel. I really really can't do this right now. Have a great life i guess." You respond, not even looking at her so she doesn't see the tears streaming down your face. You turn away from her and walk away. Hazel made you lose control over everything since that day. You were a mess. but what would anyone expect? You were an 18 year old girl who just went through a break up with the girl you loved and valued most and put her before anything and anyone else.

It's been 7 months. 7 months since you moved, 7 months since you and Hazel broke up. 7 months of you and Hazel not speaking to one another once. It was torture. Fighting the urge to apologize from running away from the situation instead of properly ending things. Fighting the urge not to ask if shes found anyone new, because you certainly haven't. Trying to get through this breakup was hell for you and everything made you think of her. Hell, you found a drawing of a flower on the sidewalk pavement and you thought of Hazel.

You get a call from your mom that you will be moving back to your hometown to live with your cousin, PJ and her mom because your mom found a new boyfriend and will be going on multiple buisness trips and no one will be capable of watching you. Thankful that your hometown is only a few hours from here, you quickly gathered and packed your things to get ready to travel. As your mom is driving you towards your cousin's house, nervousness hits you as you remember about Hazel. since PJ is friends with her, you might have to face her.

You wave your mom goodbye, and she backs out of the narrow driveway. You knock on the door, as it swings open revealing a very excited PJ. "Hey Y/n! Welcome back!" PJ practically yells. She gives you a big hug and allows your to enter the house. Your aunt greets you as you greet her back, following PJ up the stairs, to her room. "So, I think we should invite the girls over, to come and see you again, and just have a little group hangout. Just like the old times!" PJ speaks, sitting on her bed." "PJ, ive only been gone for 7 months! it hasn't been that long." You respond laughing. PJ rolls her eyes and texts Josie, Isabel, Brittany, and of course, Hazel. "Listen, i know you might not want to see hazel after you know, but you need to talk to her a bit! She misses you a lot you know." PJ says, not looking up from her cellphone. you take those words deep into your thoughts. you can't talk to her! that is scary to even think about. You just shake it off and wait for your friends to arrive.

You are welcomed by a whole bunch of hellos and hug, each girl seeing you and running up to you. You can't lie, you missed them all while being away. "Wow Y/n, you didn't change much did you? Well, seems you just got sexier while away!" Brittany says, looking at you. Each girl is talk to you, well, except for one. Hazel. She kept her distance from you and the group and just stares at her white converse. It is like this the whole time the girls are over and it's driving you mad.

After pacing around an overthinking for the past, forever, you finally decide to go to Hazel's. You know its a bad idea but you can't take this anymore you need her, and well, to talk to her. After begging PJ to drive you over to Hazel's, because you don't have a car, she finally agrees. It is pouring outside so all the sound that is in the car is PJ cursing at the blurry windows ahead of her caused by the continuous raindrops. Finally getting to a stop, you are infront of Hazel's house. Or should i say, mansion. "Good luck champ." PJ sighs, patting your shoulder. "Thanks PJ. Ill text you when im ready to leave." You say, getting out of the car. You wave at PJ before turning towards Hazel's house. You take a deep breath before knocking on Hazel's door. It takes a bit, and you realize you a drenched from the rain. Hazel finally answers, looking down at you in shock. "Y/n? Shit, your soaked. Come in." Hazel gestures you to walk in. you whisper a quiet 'thank you' before walking inside. She quickly heads towards the closet with the towels, and handing you a purple one. "Uh so, what are you doing here?" Hazel asks looking you up and down. "I uh i wanted to talk, if that's okay with you Haze." Shit. 'Haze' a nickname you called her when you both were dating. "Yeah yeah sure come on lets sit on the couch." She answers, walking towards the couch. You both sit there, waiting for one to speak. "Hazel, im sorry, like really sorry. I didn't mean to just leave like that. We should have talked it out properly and and-" You rambled, being cut off by Hazel speaking. "Listen, it's okay. i promise, it was dumb of me to end the relationship when it was healthy and fine. Im in the wrong to Y/N." she answers, putting her hand on your knee. You look up at her already staring at you. you both stare at eachother before you break the silence. "Haze, I-.. I still love you, And its okay if you don't feel the same or youve found another-" You are yet again cut off by Hazel. But this time her lips are on yours. Kissing you softly. She hums as she feels you kissing back with just the same energy. The kis starts to get more quick, as you both kiss eachother with such need. her hands are on your waist as she pulls you up into her lap. You pull away for breath but Hazel stars kissing down your jaw, to your neck, leaving hot, wet kisses. You sigh in pleasure as you move your head to the side, allowing Hazel more space. You hands go into her hair, at one certain suck she makes that leaves a heavy purple mark. "I love you, i hope you know that" Hazel breaths. looking up at you. "I love you more Hazel." You say, as you lean in to kiss her once again.

[daisygirlwrites]

Could you be able to do a headcanon of a video game night with the 141, I keep thinking about that headcanon in the third part of the ghost headcanon

Game Night Headcanons (Task Force 141 + afab!Reader)

note: König and Horangi appear, no use of (Y/N)

a/n: hey hey, this was really fun to write and there might be a second part to this. also this is a little shorter than normal, sorry about that. anyways, thank you all so much for reading!

taglist: @bobfloydsgf , @warenai , @devilsfoodcake22 , @itsscromp , @dilfsaremyfavourite, @imalovernotahater , @cutiecusp , @allen-444

gif credit: @pedrokkstuff

The typical 141 game night, more often than not, leads to a fist fight at some point

As well as name calling, accusations, threats and sometimes, crying. Last part is done by Crash most times

It wasn’t like this before. Game night was more relaxed. There was usually multiple systems and even board games going at once

That is until Soap suggested Mario Kart. He was whining on about how he wanted the group to play together, even for one round

You and the others give into his insistent whining. However, Price used his ‘old man’ card to get out of playing and agreed to watch from the sidelines.

It took a while to convince Ghost to join, Soap literally begging on his hands and knees. But it was you that ultimately got him to play, by taunting him. There is still a rivalry going on between you two though it’s become friendly in recent times. 

Your taunting worked, calling him an old man to his face and that he’s probably embarrassed to play because it’s the one thing he’s bad at. The thing that pissed him off most was you told him that he’s a ‘has-been’ 

He stares at you as you give him a smug grin back. Ghost opens his hand towards Soap, not breaking eye contact with you, he says one word, “Controller.” Johnny lets out a little “whoo!” and places a switch controller onto his hand

Ghost would either main Shy Guy, Dry Bones or Dry Bowser for obvious reasons

Soap plays Bowser or Bowser Jr. He mentions something about having a similar hairstyle as them. (Bonus points if he’s matching with Ghost)

Gaz plays as Toad because the little screams Toad makes is low key funny

Crash usually plays as Isabelle but whenever Ghost joins, she switches to King Boo

First game, Crash wins with Ghost coming close at second place. Lowkey, Crash got real nervous during the last lap since Ghost was in the lead but with the magic called button smashing, she kept blue-shelling him.

Second game, Ghost absolutely demolished everyone, paying close attention to you. 

You, being a sore loser, calls him out for cheating and demand a rematch

To everyone’s surprise, he does. And round after round, he beats everyone

Gaz was speechless, Soap looks at the Lieutenant with awe and it took everything in you to not bitch slap Ghost

The little argument becomes a little bit too intense which turns into a yelling match

Crash : “Bitch do you want me to jump across this table because I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY FOR THIS, OKAY?!” Ghost, with a shit eating grin under his mask : “You feeling froggy? Leap.” Crash, rolling up her sleeves : “Okay, well here I come."

Price, who was napping on the lazy chair while they played, woke up to a scuffle. Lifting up his hat, he takes in the scene in front of him:

You were very animated, talking with your hands as you argue with the Lieutenant. Ghost has his hands on his hips, back straightened as he looks down at you.

Soap was in-between you and Ghost, hand on the latter's chest and the other on your shoulder, keeping distance from each other. He looked a little nervous, being literally in the middle of Ghost and essentially, a mini Ghost. "Hey, let's talk this out first, no need for fightin'!"

Gaz had a hand on your other shoulder, trying to pull you away. He would lift you up, and he can, but he doesn't want to get his ass beat by someone who's five foot four

Price, after watching them for a couple minutes, finally steps in.

Had to use the 'dad voice' on everyone

That weeks game night ends there

The next one though, basically the same thing happens. Only difference is that you guys were playing Super Smash Bros.

Ghost would either play Dark Samus, Sheik, Cloud or Snake

Soap plays Bowser, Roy or Ryu

Gaz usually plays as Lucario or Ness, but sometimes switches to Marth

Crash mains Kirby, however she does have a soft spot for all of the cute game mascots (especially Pikachu)

Same thing happens, Ghost beats everyone and you start an argument because "No one his age knows how to play."

"For God's sake, Crash, I'm twenty-nine!" "Pretty fuckin' old to me." "We're six years apart, Tiny."

You low key hated that nickname. It was a reminder to you that everyone else was six foot and taller.

With no hesitation, you jump towards him

Thankfully, this time Price is awake and grabs you just in time

He holds you back as you shout "These hands are rated E for Everyone"

After that, game night was cancelled for a while, for oblivious reasons

That is until the KorTac team joins them. Game night is brought back since it's good for 'team bonding'

It's mostly König and Horangi that hangs out with them, with Hutch occasionally coming by

All of them are really good at Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros.

It was kind of embarrassing for the 141 to get beat against the new guys

Everyone was nice at first but as game nights continue, König lets out a snide comment

"Thought you guys are the best of the best. Guess you're not good at everything."

As much as you liked König, you were not gonna let that slide. Same with Ghost

Both of you form a truce and team up together

As you were on the field, both of you are a deadly combination

Unsurprisingly, you win. But learning from previous mistakes, you behave yourself.

König and Horangi lose gracefully, telling you "GG" and even apologizing for the comment he made earlier

Price gives a sigh of relief, not wanting to break up a fight, especially since one of them is almost seven feet tall

Other games the team plays:

Halo (specifically the first three). Ghost doesn't say but he low key relates to Master Chief. Soap likes it because there's a pretty lady that talks to him

Mario Party. Price has to supervise

Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. Everyone is surprisingly chill when they play those two. Just something about Super Smash Bros that gets they hyped up

Untitled Goose Game and Goat Simulator. It's mostly you and Gaz playing. Funny games that makes you forget about the world for a few hours

The team also plays card and board games as well but that's for another time

[blythings]

BAD IDEA RIGHT? | TOM BLYTH

— pairing: tom blyth x filmmaker!oc (fem.)

— summary: she thinks she is really, really smart unless it's about tom; and then she is really, really stupid.

— tags: exes-to-lovers, named oc, attempts at humour, mentions of other celebrities.

— notes: some parts were lifted from i-D mag's feature on emma seligman!

series masterlist | send me an ask →

liked by ayoedeberi, filmupdatesmain and others

alexisnakamura support women's rights and women's wrongs by watching bottoms, out today in theatres across the us and canada! ❤️🥊

this movie is our baby and i feel so lucky to have been able to make it with some of my best friends 🥹 special thanks to @/mari.arai for letting me cover the walls of our nyu dorm with dick jokes and agreeing to play isabel 💞

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nicholasgalitzine So proud of you guys

↪ alexisnakamura nicky 🥺❤️

mari.arai 🫡😘❤️ LOVE YOUUUU

↪ alexisnakamura went a little too hard with the dorm room manifestations and now we made a movie together??? INSANE

guzzlingplastic1000 the best dick joke writer of all time

❤️ by alexisnakamura

↪ user ruby accept my follow request PLEASE

user THIS IS MY FIGHT CLUB

user do you have any pics of mari and ruby covered in blood it's not for anything weird i promise hahahahaaaaa

user omg tom blyth liked this post

↪ user who??

↪ user he's gna be in the new hunger games movie!

↪ user wait i think i've seen him on ali's insta before

↪ user where? i just checked her profile and he's not in any of her posts

↪ user maybe she deleted them????

liked by kaiagerber, tomblyth and others

i_d Bottoms is a delight because it’s a rare breed of big studio production with a compelling original premise, following Josie (Ayo Edebiri) and PJ (Rachel Sennott), two queer teen dirtbags on their circuitous quest to get laid.⁠ ⁠

The movie been called “one of the most quotable films of the decade”, “blisteringly funny”, an “exercise in kamikaze feminism” and more, whilst holding a score of 96% on reviews aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.⁠ ⁠

But when we speak, director @/alexisnakamura only wants to lament on her new bangs. “Impulsively cutting your bangs at 5am is peak girlhood,” she says with the jittery intonation of a girl in her twenties.

Hit the link in bio to read Alexis's full interview with i-D on imposter syndrome, meeting friend and close collaborator Mari Arai in college, situating her bisexuality in her filmmaking and more.⁠

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user relatable queen

user she's so pretty 😩

user she sounds exhausting to be around LMAOO

↪ user ^^^ ↪ user fr it's not a good look considering she's relatively new to the industry ↪ user so she's meant to just be nice and likeable? give me a break 🙄 also "relatively new" is a stretch when bottoms is her 3rd movie

user "i feel like i'm constantly going through something" same

user is she dating tom blyth?

↪ user i think she used to but they broke up ages ago ↪ user they still like each other's posts tho ↪ user an amicable breakup then? ↪ user omg i want them to work together

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nakamuraupdates ali's stories from this morning!

user not death by a thousand cuts

user someone check on our girl

[andsjuliet]

2024 books read

2024 goal: 150 books

january: 1 - heartstopper vol. 1 → alice oseman (reread) 2 - heartstopper vol. 2 → alice oseman (reread) 3 - heartstopper vol. 3 → alice oseman (reread) 4 - heartstopper vol. 4 → alice oseman (reread) 5 - heartstopper vol. 5 → alice oseman 6 - a fragile enchantment → allison saft 7 - some shall break → ellie marney (audiobook) 8 - only if you're lucky → stacy willingham (arc) 9 - over my dead body: a witchy graphic novel → sweeney boo 10 - notes on an execution → danya kukafka (physical & audiobook) 11 - murder on the orient express → agatha christie (reread) 12 - our wives under the sea → julia armfield (physical & audiobook) 13 - the invocations → krystal sutherland (arc) 14 - red string theory → lauren kung jessen 15 - the breakup tour → emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka (arc) 16 - the name drop → susan lee 17 - the secret of the old clock → carolyn keene (reread) 18 - bright young women → jessica knoll (audiobook) 19 - last call at the local → sarah grunder ruiz (audiobook) 20 - no one can know → kate alice marshall

february: 21 - worst wingman ever → abby jimenez 22 - drop, cover, and hold on → jasmine guillory 23 - with any luck → ashley poston 24 - the atlas six → olivie blake (reread, audiobook) 25 - that's not my name → megan lally 26 - not here to stay friends → kaitlyn hill 27 - this golden state → marit weisenberg 28 - today tonight tomorrow → rachel lynn solomon (reread, annotation) 29 - past present future → rachel lynn solomon (arc, annotation) 30 - the atlas paradox → olivie blake (reread, audiobook) 31 - the guest list → lucy foley (audiobook) 32 - in the market for murder → t.e. kinsey (audiobook) 33 - the neighbor favor → kristina forest 34 - in the mix → mandy gonzalez 35 - everyone in my family has killed someone → benjamin stevenson 36 - the seven year slip → ashley poston 37 - veronica ruiz breaks the bank → elle cosimano (audiobook) 38 - finlay donovan rolls the dice → elle cosimano (audiobook) 39 - the simmonds house kills → meaghan dwyer (arc)

march: 40 - the mysterious case of the alperton angels → janice hallett 41 - the book of cold cases → simone st. james 42 - what the river knows → isabel ibañez (audiobook) 43 - cut loose! → ali stroker & stacy davidowitz 44 - how i'll kill you → ren destefano 45 - the reappearance of rachel price → holly jackson (arc) 46 - when no one is watching → alyssa cole (audiobook) 47 - outofshapeworthlessloser: a memoir of figure skating, f*cking up, and figuring it out → gracie gold (audiobook) 48 - julius caesar → william shakespeare (rerad, audiobook) 49 - the family plot → megan collins (audiobook) 50 - if we were villains → m.l. rio (reread) 51 - alone with you in the ether → olivie blake (physical & audiobook) 52 - disappearance at devil's rock → paul tremblay (audiobook)

april: 53 - shakespeare: romeo and juliet graphic novel → martin powell & eva cabrera 54 - shakespeare: macbeth graphic novel → martin powell & f. daniel perez 55 - shakespeare: julius caesar graphic novel → carl bown & eduardo garcia 56 - shakespeare: a midsummer night's dream graphic novel → nel yomtov & berenice muniz 57 - twelfth knight → alexene farol follmuth (arc) 58 - kill for me, kill for you → steve cavanagh 59 - murder road → simone st. james 60 - everyone on this train is a suspect → benjamin stevenson 61 - listen for the lie → amy tintera 62 - king cheer → molly horton booth, stephanie kate strohm, jamie green 63 - twelfth night (musical adaptation) → kwame kwei-armah & shaina taub 64 - in juliet's garden → judy elliot mcdonald 65 - fat ham → james ijames 66 - death by shakespeare → philip l. nicholas, jr 67 - a good girl's guide to murder → holly jackson (reread) 68 - good girl, bad blood → holly jackson (reread) 69 - as good as dead → holly jackson (reread) 70 - dark corners → megan goldin (audiobook) 71 - the one that got away with murder → trish lundy (audiobook)

[a-hackneyed-premise]

Daryl Dixon - some rambling thoughts

I just finished watching and I have a few thoughts.

I know there are plenty of people with greater insight than me, but this is just what I have been left with over the course of the past 6 episodes (and the past 10+ years of the main show)

Firstly I want to talk in general about ship baiting. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm too neurodivergent to see anything other than Caryl, but people talk a lot about ship baiting and I just don't see it. Like, at all. There's no connection at all that I can see between Daryl and any other woman he appears on screen with, other than Carol. Whether that was B*th, C*nnie, or Isabelle. Let's not even talk about L*ah because that was just a dumbass mess that doesn't count, but those other three - if anyone can point me towards any moment at all where there was any indication that Daryl had some kind of deeper feeling for them please feel free to point it out, because I genuinely see nothing. Obviously, people are free to ship whatever they want to ship, but as far as baiting it is concerned? No. NR's acting choices shut down any baiting because Daryl absolutely wears his heart on his sleeve, and he is not showing me anything towards those other women.

Secondly, there has been a lot of talk about Daryl being OOC. Again, watching it, I genuinely don't see it. His entire motivation the whole series has been to get back home, and that never wavered. The OOC bit comes from the main series of him walking away from his family, but as in this series it's showing him trying to get back in every single episode, I don't see the OOCness people are talking about. He's still the Daryl we know and love. He cares about people, he's honourable, he does his best to do the right thing. Check, check, and check. Yes, he shouted horribly at Laurent in one scene, but we all have our breaking points, and that kid had just jeopardised not only Daryl getting home, but all of their lives.

Isabelle - I really want her to become walker chow. She manipulated Daryl from the word go, and that would be bad enough, but her saying to Daryl—a man abused by his father—that he was repeating history by trying to return to his actual family? Gtfo. That was manipulative and cruel to the extreme.

Which kinda leads me to the ending. Daryl not getting on the boat. Her cruel manipulation of Daryl isn't his motivation for staying behind - he's still a man of honour after all, and he's not going to let a young boy be eaten by a herd of walkers. You could see the thought of "for fucks sake" in his eyes when Laurent appeared. There's no happiness in him missing the boat, he's not chosen France over his family, he wasn't given an option at all.

I think when Carol gets to France she'll likely team up with Codron to track Daryl down. I can see him holding out as long as possible to not give up The Nest's location, but she'll rescue him and he'll be able to tell Carol where her Pookie is.

I'm sure there was more I wanted to talk about but my ADHD brain has decided to shut down for now, so if I think of more, I'll come back.

But all in all, my excitement is rekindled. Good things are coming for Caryl fans, of that I am certain.

[madhatterbri]

Jealous | T.N.

Summary: Theo and Izzy had an one night stand during the summer. They agreed it was just for fun and nothing more. Now she is at Hogsmaede with Draco and Theo can't hide his jealousy.

"You look rather exquisite," Draco purred in her ear while hugging her from behind. He ran his hands down her sides and kissed her neck. Isabel smiled and turned to look at him.

"You aren't bad yourself," she smiled and kissed him softly. Her eyes closing for a brief second. Always a fan of Hogsmaede, she loved to be free of Hogwarts rules. The professors may be chaperones, but they couldn't watch all the students at once.

"Looks like we got an audience," Draco chuckled. He moved his head towards the direction. A few feet away stood an angry Theodore Nott. His face was red while his brown eyes glared. Tightly balled fists hung around his sides.

"You may want to calm him down before Crabbe and Goyle have to get involved. I don't want to see him a bloody pulp like first year. He got blood on my uniform," she whined. After the beat down they some how became friends. Boys are wild.

"Patience, darling," he tapped her nose before kissing her once more. Draco looked at Crabbe and Goyle. "I have a little business to handle. I'll see you soon,"

They bid their goodbyes and he left leaving Isabel to deal with an angry Theo. She sighed and looked at his direction. He stood in the same manner she saw the first time. Better to get this over with now than later.

Lately, he was jealous. She still wasn't sure where he found the audacity. During the summer, they had an one night stand at a party at Blaise's house. They agreed it was for fun. While they had flirted in the past, she knew they would never work out.

"Theo, what is you-"

Her question cut short by him grabbing her wrist. He took her away from the pathway and towards the treeline. The entire time she demanded to let her go. They walked a few feet into the woods before he let her go. He turned to look at her.

"Cute stunt," he growled. His lips were pursed and his eyes looked watery. The tip of his ears so red they looked like they could start a fire.

"Stunt? What stunt?" She asked. Her eyebrows furrowed and her nose scrunched. "What is your problem lately?"

"You! And that idiot ferret," he answered and turned. He took a few steps away from her. His fingers ran through his hair. Isabel stared at his back.

"Why? Are you jealous?" She teased. Theo turned and stood in front of her. Isabel took a nervous step back. There were plenty of times she had seen him mad but this was by far the worst.

"I'm not jealous. I have no reason to be jealous of that daddy's boy," he spat as if he ate something disgusting.

"Then what's wrong? I know you are a fan of PDA. Just last week you had your tongue down some poor Hufflepuff's throat,"

"I-" he began but stopped. His nostrils flared. His thoughts were zooming in his mind. He could barely think let alone speak.

"Listen, you and I have the most fucked up friendship," she started. Theo seemed to calm down. "We fight constantly and then make out. I want our friendship the way it was before we had sex. Can we please go back to that?" She asked. Isabel missed the way they were together.

"I don't want that," he confessed. Isabel could feel her heart break. She couldn't imagine a world without Theo in it. "I want more. With you,"

[filmofhybe]

CHAPTER 6 : HE FOUND ME..

> pairing : Nishimura Riki x Female Reader

> genre : college student AU! , Pool Lifeguard AU! , smau , fluff

> warnings : SLOW BURN!! , swearing , bad humor jokes , kys jokes (die etc) , kissing , semi verbal bullying (no violence) , reader! injuring herself by accident , missing parent figure

> chapter synopsis : Niki couldn’t his jealousy towards heeseung. Him hanging out with y/n already hit him like a rock. So Niki decides to add y/n on her socials. As Niki compliments y/n recent post, Isabelle founds out causing jealousy to build up in her.

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© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.

( I also just want to mention that this series is kinda slow burn, so if your not into slow burn or plot lines that can take a bit to develop than this story is probably not your cup of tea. But I do recommend checking out my other works if you want, enjoy!! )

587 words.

Niki’s pov:

I felt so angry when I saw Jake and Heeseung stories with y/n in them. Knowing that such a pretty girl is with 2 of your best looking friends hurts. Ugh imma go crazy over this girl.

I quickly followed her on all her social. Fuck I hope she doesn’t think I’m a stalker.. now I just have to wait till she follows me back. I walked downstairs to go get some water when I see Isabelle on my couch with my sisters. If I have to be honest with you Isabelle was a really sweet and pretty girl, always listen to my problems and overall a decent person. She’s moving to my college soon which is exciting, I just hope she gets along with my friends.

“Niki want to watch a movie with us?” Isabelle said softly. Making me turn around. “Sure but maybe just a few minutes I’m getting tired.” I walked over to the living room before sitting next to her. My eyes was focused on the movie when my phone lit up. Eyes widen at the notification, jumping off the sofa causing Isabelle to groan. “Fuck you niki I was comfortable laying down.” She held her head in pain. “I’m sorry I just need to go to bed.” It was late either ways.. before any of them could call me back I ran back up stairs.

I was just scrolling through twitter before coming across y/n recent post. God really put his time in creating such a beautiful girl. I liked her post and comment on it before turning on my tv.

The light from my phone caught my attention, grabbing it into my hand and I felt excitement take over my body and mind.

Y/N Y/L/N just followed me back. And replied to my comment.

y/n’s pov:

Jake, heeseung and my family were all sat in the living room doing whatever. I really miss these days where everyone would gather around almost every night before going back to their sweet home. I was zoning out from the conversation until I got a message from instagram, Twitter as well as tiktok.

instagram

nishimura.riki has followed you.

TikTok

dance.riki has followed you.

Twitter

nishimura.r1ki has followed you.

I clicked on his profile and scrolled through his feed. After clicking on some videos i finally realized it was the guy who caught me the week before term break. The scene still plays in my head till this day. I decided to text heeseung even though he’s literally in front of me but if I said it out loud, my whole family is gonna throw unnecessary questions at me.

I texted the group as well after I posted on twitter, didn’t expect Niki or the kids pool guy to comment on it.

Isabelle pov:

series taglist : @surefornext @spilled-coffee-cup @haechansgf @txtistheloml @skepvids @syuuji @oshakyao @haechansbbg

© filmofhybe on tumblr — do not copy , translate or share.

[izzythehutt]

I know Jesse confessing on tape to Hank was actually a very serious moment of catharsis for his character, but all I could think about was how we were robbed of Hank’s reaction to hearing all their wacky codependent nonsense and rank incompetence in the show. Like, “and then Mr. White threw a beaker at me and ordered me to pee in it” “…Why?” “To prove I’m off drugs so I wouldn’t OD using the money we earned from our illegal drug business” “Wait, so you were yelling about a 1.2 million dollar drug deal in a…high school science lab in the middle of the day?” “Yes” “But that was just a pretense to keep the money for himself, right?” “No, he had our lawyer/couples therapist hold it for me until I got out of rehab…which was his idea and he paid for”

[makeitastrength]

What are your top non-Chenford episodes/arcs/storylines? And what's your least favourite?

Oh god, whyyyyyy are these always so hard?

Actually, least favorite is easy: the arsonist storyline in season 4, which is unnecessarily gruesome and ends with an unrealistic escape.

But favorites? Oh gosh. I notice you didn't give me a number this time, though, so I'm just gonna go through in chronological order and list the ones that stand out.

1x08 Time of Death

Nolan is ordinarily not my favorite character, but I thought this storyline was really well done (ignoring the very end with a certain hookup I like to forget ever happened 🤮). As a viewer, you don't see it coming... and then BAM. It's like we experience the shock and numbness and everything else in the aftermath right along with him.

1x16 Greenlight

I will forever miss Captain Andersen, and this episode brings me to tears every single time.

2x07 Safety

I love the glimpse into Tim's life and backstory we get in this episode, plus we see the protective side of him coming out with AJ. It's nice to mix things up, too. We get the beginning of the Lucy x Harper relationship, we see Angela trying something different with the security job (and being a total badass)... it's a nice change of pace.

2x08 Clean Cut

I just really like Ellroy. He's hilarious, and he and Nell are adorable together!

2x11-12 DOD-Now and Then

I know this is technically a Chenford storyline, but it's truly a group effort to find Lucy. She has a lot of support through her recovery, and not just in 2x12. I appreciate that we get to see her work through her trauma and it's not just glossed over like so often happens.

3x10-14 Angela x Tim

Watching him support her every step of the way is just the sweetest thing ever, with a nice dose of humor thrown into the mix. I love their friendship so much!

4x15 Hit List

I will always have a soft spot for Grey, and I enjoy when he has bigger storylines. Seeing him break down in the hospital as he struggles to come to terms with taking a life is so heartbreaking. We get to see Tim step in for him as watch commander. And I love all the callbacks to Nolan's shooting in 1x08.

4x17 Coding

This one made my list of favorite cold opens the other day, but the truth is I actually like the entire hospital storyline. It tugs at your heartstrings in the saddest way... the dying wife and the young girl waiting for a transplant. And I almost find myself empathizing with the bad guy too, at times, which says a lot about the storytelling in this one.

5x19 A Hole in the World

This one made my list of favorite Chenford episodes, but really everyone is working the same storyline here so I'm including it on this list too. Honestly, this is a strong contender for my favorite episode of the entire show. Between the Chenford pieces and Celina finally getting some closure and forgiving her mom. Ugh. It's so good.

I also always like healing arcs in general, and this show is no exception. Watching Tim piece himself back together after Isabel and watching Harper get her life and her daughter back are arcs that stand out to me as well.

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 8)

A bunch of scenes because why not? On another note, it is extremely hard to write a scene in winter when it’s the middle of April. I hope you enjoy anyhow! Because now I’m really getting into the plot.

Word Count: 5.9k

CW: Death, crying, vague thoughts of suicide, severe trauma, (anything else idk??)

8-Ryker

It was Thanksgiving break. The first official break from school until Christmas. Words could not describe how grateful I was for the week-long break. There was no reason to have so much work piled up a couple weeks before the end of first semester. 

I was laying in my bed on my phone. It was about to turn six, which meant I should probably get started on dinner, but I just couldn’t bring myself to climb out of bed. I was physically and mentally tired of keeping up with everyone and whatever plans they had with their friends, taking care of Isabelle and Angela since they were still little, and on top of that keep up with the chores around the house. 

I grabbed my phone off the charger, stretched out my arms and legs from laying down, and opened my door to get started on dinner. The living room was oddly quiet, with Dylan and Lucky playing a game. Isabelle playing a game with Angela on the carpet that consisted of a bunch of stuffed animals and blankets. I smiled to myself. 

“What do you guys feel like eating for dinner?” I leaned against the kitchen island, waiting for an answer. 

“Spaghetti!” Isabelle and Angela answered at the time, giggling at one another. I think I could do that. I don’t know if Lucky can though. It was the first weekend of the break and I’d probably need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyways. 

I looked in Dylan’s direction, making them pause whatever they were playing together. He just shrugged his shoulders, “Whatever’s easier for you.” Always with the same response. 

“Ummm, I can go check what we have.” Lucky told me, getting Dylan to let him onto the floor. All I could do was wait now. Jasmine was staying over at her friends today and tomorrow. I just told her to text me if she goes anywhere far and if she needed anything. Weird, right? Usually the parent handles these kinds of things, but in the situation my siblings and I are in it’s literally impossible. 

Lucky came back, shaking his head, “We don’t have the things for spaghetti,” He laid down on the arm rest of the couch and grabbed his remote, “You should call Nathan to come over. He hasn’t been here in a while. Plus, he’s so much better at cooking than I am. Right, Angela?” 

“Yeah!” 

I bit the side of my cheek. I don’t know about that. Just asking Nathan to come over to cook and then ask him to leave? That was wrong. Plus, he told me before the break that he’ll be pretty busy. Or… texted me. Either way, I shouldn’t bother him. Maybe he actually has a meal with his family for Thanksgiving and they were all getting ready for it already. On the other hand, Lucky makes something else for him and Angela, Angela doesn’t eat, and then everything goes downhill from there. 

Looking at my phone, I picked it up, opening the messages app, and clicked on Nathan’s name. The last time he came here, Jasmine did kind of freak him out. I remember him not being able to leave anyone’s side if she was in the room. I wonder if he’d even want to come over after that. At school the next day he was a little nervous, but otherwise fine afterward, but I’m sure whatever Jasmine told him is still stuck in his mind. Ugh. This was such a bad idea. 

Ryker: I have a huge favor to ask you 

I waited for a response, watching Dylan and Lucky play a fighting game against one another. I had no idea who was winning, but I’m pretty sure it was Lucky. Actually… it was kind of weird how Lucky seemed to want Nathan around more often. Like, really weird. Especially when every time Nathan came, he would practically ditch him with me. I honestly don’t mind, I liked having Nathan come over, but still. I had wondered why, but I wasn’t going to ask. 

Nathan: Yeah?

Ryker: Do you mind coming over to help Lucky cook something? 

Ryker: You don’t have to 

Well, if he says no Lucky will have to make whatever he can and I’d have to break the news to Angela. If you didn’t know, four year olds can be a little hard to deal with sometimes. So, this might just turn out to be a very, very bad day. 

Nathan: Sure! 

Nathan: Anything specific?

I stared at his text, relief washing over me. Dylan let out a cheer from winning against Lucky. Wow. Perfect timing. I was just so grateful right now. Nathan was literally the greatest friend ever. Now I have to think of someway to thank him. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? 

Ryker: They wanted spaghetti

Ryker: And thank you  

Nathan: No problem :)

Ryker: I guess I’ll be at the bus stop in about twenty minutes? 

Nathan: Okay 

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, “Okay, I’ll be right back, just text me if something happens.” I told Dylan, who nodded his head. And with that, I walked out the door and into the cold air. 

———Nathan———

Winters in the city were bad. But not as bad as when we were still help captive. Now those days were terrible. Horrifying even. It was still freakishly cold here. Not something I enjoy. For several reasons really. One being that I already get cold really easily. Two, I just hated being cold and sick. And the most important reason being that it was during this kind of weather when my dad had died. Actually, in three days it’s officially been nine years since my dad died. November 24. A long time, right? 

It hurts. The memories. Not just of him but how they brutally murdered him in front of his own child. I shuddered at the sight pictured in my mind. Nope. Can’t think about that. Right now I should probably be getting ready to head over to the bus stop. I already had packed a tiny bag with the things I needed to cook. Weird enough, it was kind of a therapy for me at this point. To be cooking I mean. I guess that’s why my mom always gets worried when I’m baking for no reason. Because she knows. 

I sighed, giving my mom a quick text that I was heading over to Ryker’s for a little while. The last time I went, I thought everything was going great before Jasmine talked to me alone. everyone had left to go looking for something and it was just her and I. I was scared of course. We’ve never, ever talked before and from what I’ve gathered she’s really intimidating. 

Her exact words to me were: “If you hurt my brother in any way I will personally murder you.” and that was was it took for me to have an entire mental breakdown for nearly two weeks. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared if someone’s sibling threatened you like that? So, the week before the break, I might have been acting a little weird around Ryker, afraid that I might actually do something wrong or hurt him in any way, which I don’t really see how I could. 

Otherwise, I haven’t really been doing anything. I told Ryker that I would be busy during the break, but really I wasn’t. Only because I do actually have something to do on November 24, and I was already feeling the depression spikes as the day came closer and closer. As for Thanksgiving itself, my mom and I never do anything. Last year we were barely getting used to being in the mental hospital so we didn’t really do anything. This year she’s working so it’ll just be me. Nothing new. 

I made my way down the icy streets, the sun setting faster and faster. It was only getting colder, and I didn’t really have a winter jacket. Just some to wear in the classroom like when it’s freezing in there. So, yeah, I was basically freezing my face off. Not to mention that my mom told me it might snow later tonight since it was already under twenty degrees outside. I wasn’t used to cold weather. 

Once I made it to the bus stop, I snuggled up with my bag on the bench, trying to have some kind of warmth. Also because there were several people (giants) who were going back home from stores or getting off of work. The bus stop was actually used for both humans and giants. The human was a little ways from the huge one that was practically as tall as a skyscraper. Maybe taller. 

My hands were shaky from the cold, but it was only another five minutes before Ryker would come and hopefully I wouldn’t be as cold. Maybe. Hopefully. I don’t know what today has in store for me. All I knew was that I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket with some hot chocolate and binge watch something on tv. 

Ryker came a few minutes later, smiling and giving a thanks before offering a hand. I threw the bag on first before struggling to get on. It was hard when the ground underneath you was starting to freeze over, but I figured it out after trying for a good minute. 

“You’re freezing.” Ryker told me, cupping his hand just a little. Sure, it was scary to have his fingers closer to me, but still, it was warm. How could I deny something that was practically calling me? 

  “That good?” He smiled, for some reason making sure I was comfortable. But I was not about to complain. I was desperate at this point. I nodded my head, bringing my knees closer to my chest to keep some of my body warmth with me. And yet another reason I hate winter. 

“Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you.” 

I continuously shook my head, hoping he would get the message that it was fine. Plus, I liked going over. Everyone was nice (Besides Jasmine I’m pretty sure she hates me) and never really tried to do anything too crazy with me. It was great. I’m not as afraid anymore, which was a miracle given I thought I could never trust anyone ever again, and I’ve actually made some friends. 

Ryker opened the door to his house, where we found them all watching a movie together. Everyone turned their heads as soon as the door closed behind Ryker. I jumped slightly, but relaxed after a while. Nothing to be afraid of. Dylan’s eyes landed on me, giving a smile and a two fingered wave. I waved back, but I doubt he could see it. 

I was set down on the ground, not entirely expecting to be in a tight hug the second I balanced myself. Lucky bursted out laughing, letting me go, “You are literally the best, Nathan.” I laughed with him, following Lucky into the room. 

——————

I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. Of course Ryker tried to convince me to eat something, but I always answered no. Otherwise, dinner was okay. They had Lucky, Angela and I on the coffee table, which wasn’t really too big of a deal. I’m pretty sure Ryker and Dylan just didn’t want to handle any humans while they were eating, and hey, I was not about to say anything about it. There are just some things that will never leave my mind. 

After everyone ate, Dylan and Lucky started playing a game on the tv while Isabelle and Angela were playing hide and seek I’m pretty sure. I just hoped that no one would get hurt, but Ryker quickly reassured me that they would never harm one another. I just had to believe him. Most of his siblings are stuck together like glue. Which is a good thing. 

“It’s supposed to start snowing in a little bit.” Ryker announced, earning cheers from the other room where I was guessing Angela and Isabelle were. I was sitting on the arm rest of the couch by Ryker. I kind of wished that their house was a little warmer, because I was still annoyingly cold, but beggars can’t be choosers. I should have asked to grab a blanket. 

“Nice. Are we gonna go out?” Dylan asked, eyes glued to the screen. I had no idea who was winning, but I think it was him. 

“If you want to.” 

Ryker threw his phone on the other side of the couch, turning his head to the screen. I don’t want to go outside, but I’ll go if that makes things easier. I just don’t want to be in the snow. Reasons. Remember? 

It was about ten minutes later that it did actually start snowing. Angela and Isabelle were begging Ryker to let them outside, which he just laughed to and told them to get jackets on and to bring their hats. Dylan paused their game to go get on a jacket, and Ryker left to go help Isabelle. So I was alone in the living room while everyone was busy to go have some fun. I hated winter. In just three days. I reminded myself. 

What would happen? Would someone else be claimed victim? Something bad always happens during this time. I don’t know if it was just me. It probably was. Everyone else was smiling while I was crying in the corner. It’s how it was in the hospital. They all went outside if they could, and I stayed in my room, under the blankets and shove my face into my pillow to drown out my tears. I couldn’t do that now though. Not when so many people had their eyes on me. Not when a trip back to the hospital was a very viable option for me. I didn’t want to go back. Not because of something… traumatic that happened nine years ago. I should be over it, right? But I’m not. 

There goes one of my depression spells. Great. Just great. At a time like this? I sucked in a deep breath, calming myself down before anyone notices. This was embarrassing. 

Ryker came back into the room, eyes landing on me with an unsure look on his face. He walked up to me, holding a hand out. Was he not going to wear any gloves? He wouldn’t be cold? I stood up, keeping my balance on the soft surface underneath me and walking to climb onto his hand. 

“You don’t mind if I just keep you in my hand, right? I don’t want you to be freezing.” He asked. I shook my head, sitting down in the middle of his palm. That was actually what I preferred. I did not plan whatsoever to go into the snow anyways. 

Once everyone was outside, Ryker sat down on the stairs, cupping his hand and keeping me close. A little uneasy about it, but there was really no reason to be. It’s just instinct. And everything in me right now is saying to get the hell inside. But I wasn’t going to say that. Mostly because I don’t want to be alone.  

They were all screaming and laughing. It was snowing pretty hard too, already covering most of the frosted grass just after ten minutes. Other people were also sitting outside. Their kids playing around with the snow. I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I found myself scooting back slowly, almost to where I couldn’t see the heavy fall of the white flakes. 

My body was still freezing. It was so much colder than before. Was this how dad felt? The cold pricking at his skin I mean. 

“Nathan?” My thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice above me. I groaned, body shaking and stuffing my hands in my pockets to preserve some of my body heat. I shuddered a breath, trembling. It’s so cold… How could they even be having fun like this? I looked ahead, seeing Dylan helping Isabelle make a small snowman with both Angela and Lucky stuffed in his scarf. This was just another one of my depression spells. 

“Still cold?” Ryker asked me. I took a deep breath, “Y-Yeah…” It came out more like a quiet mumble, and I was surprised that he even heard me. Did he want to help them make a snowman? He probably did. I should just tell him to leave me inside. It would make things a million times easier for everyone. 

Ryker moved his hand a bit, making me worried about what he was trying to do, but he just kept it the same. I wondered why he was going through all this trouble just for me. There was really no point. There was only a couple more months until graduation and then we’d go our separate ways. That’s how it always goes. I’d be alone again, figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. That’s how my story goes. 

“Better?” 

I nodded my head, getting to a comfortable position and decided to just watch what they were all doing. Finishing up the head of the snowman. It was comfy even though I was kind of scared from being in someone’s hand. At least now that is. Currently I was just afraid of falling into the deep snow. I’m pretty sure if I fell I’d sink into it. Not something I would like to see or imagine. 

“You okay?” Ryker asked, softly smiling above me. There was no other response other than to nod. I couldn’t just say no. That wouldn’t do any good. But.. maybe if he notices that these next few days would be hard for me. Maybe. Just maybe. I doubt it though. I don’t plan on being here all of the time anyways. I couldn’t. 

Isabelle finished the snowman, grabbing some loose twigs for arms as they stepped back. It was still snowing, just not as much. Was dad watching me right now? Was he shocked just as much as I was? I never thought I’d ever be able to be around another giant for as long as I had lived, and here I am, sitting in one of their hands. Would he think I was crazy? Delusional? Psycho? Happy like my mom even? I would never know, but even I think I was crazy. 

Actually… why did I even trust Ryker? Or really anyone. They’re all so nice of course, but about four months ago I was so sure that every giant would only hurt me, and it almost became true with that lunch incident that felt like forever ago. So why did I trust these people with my life? In the back of my mind I keep thinking that this was all just a sick joke being played on me. But… I don’t think these people are lying about anything. They don’t have a reason to. And Ryker’s been nothing but patient, and kind, and… understanding. No one would go through all that trouble just to fool someone as gullible as me. 

I sighed, snuggling up closer to Ryker’s thumb and watching Isabelle throw snowballs at Dylan who was shielding Lucky and Angela from the crossfire. Was it scary being there? In the midst of everything? Having to trust someone at least fifty times your size to keep you safe? I sucked in a shaky breath, just watching. It wasn’t so bad really. 

———Ryker———

Today was November 24. Thanksgiving was here, and everything was a complete mess. I never learned how to make a turkey like the tradition, so usually I just made something that all of us had liked. Along with that, I had to make sure no one did anything too crazy while I was busy in the kitchen. Jasmine and Dylan were helping out cooking while I ordered something for Lucky and Angela. They both agreed on pizza (Because what else does a fourteen year-old and a four year-old want) so now I was busy with that. That part was mostly because Angela didn’t like when Lucky cooks something different. 

It was just pure chaos now. Everyone was running around the house, and at that point I had to ask Jasmine to keep an eye on Angela to make sure she didn’t wander off where we couldn’t find her. I wasn’t too worried about Lucky since he’s almost always with Dylan, plus he’s smart enough to stay off the floor when it’s something like this. 

I took out the lasagna, letting it cool down before making separate plates. Yeah, I know, super weird, but I can’t do anything better. I only know the basics thanks to my parents, and that was all I needed to know. 

There was a knock on the door, and I asked Dylan to open it. It was just the pizza. I washed whatever dishes I had and called everyone that dinner was ready. It’s days like this where I wished that my parents never left. I feel like I can never be like them even though I was the oldest. I mean, was I just supposed to let CPS split us all apart? I couldn’t do that. My siblings would never forgive me. I like to think that they’re all happy, but I doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything to help any of them. Like I’m doing this “parenting” thing all wrong. Of course I was. I was seventeen in my last year of high school taking care of five kids on my own while also juggling a job and trying to do fun things with them so we can forget about what happened a little over a year ago. There was no reason for one person to be doing all of this. 

It was snowing outside again. Not really surprising when you’ve lived here for your entire life. It was really nice though. I loved the cold. Weird, because most people don’t, but I do. I remember my parents freaking out when I would just be outside making a snowman in just a short sleeve and sweatpants when I was a kid. Of course it was so cold it burned, but I guess I kind of liked it? It was hard to explain. Or sometimes we’d stay inside and watch movies or play a game. I missed it really. 

“Ry.” Jasmine snapped her fingers in front of me to get my attention. I blinked a couple times before giving a clueless look. She groaned, “I asked if I could go shopping tomorrow, I have work the next three days so I just wanna go do something.”

“Oh, um, sure.” 

The tv was playing in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. Come to think of it, I don’t think I was paying attention to anything. Dylan, Jasmine, and Lucky were all laughing about something. What were they laughing about again? Something about going back to school? I don’t even want to think about that right now. I needed a break anyways. Most of my classes love giving me piles and piles of work anyways. 

I sighed, pushing away my plate that I had barely eaten. The sun has already set, everyone was done eating, Angela asked Jasmine if she could go outside in the snow. She said yes, and so Isabelle followed. Dylan and Lucky were helping me wash the remaining dishes. Honestly I already felt so tired. It was only 8 p.m but my eyes threatened to close at any moment. 

“You okay, Ry?” Dylan asked, putting a plate up in the cabinet. 

“Yeah.” I replied, handing him another to dry. Lucky shook his head while continuously saying “no” over and over again. At some point Dylan grew tired of it and pressed the pad of his thumb into Lucky’s entire upper half of his body. 

“He’s not wrong. You’re always like this on holidays.” 

“I am?” I sighed, not really knowing how to get out of this one. These two have always been vigilant anyways. They would have noticed at some point. 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t know. I just feel really tired today.”  

“That’s it?” 

“Mhm.” 

Dylan gave me a skeptical look before putting in another plate. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t think he ever will about these kinds of things. 

“Why don’t you call Nathan? You always seem happier around him.” 

I stopped only for a second, then continued to scrub off something on the pan I used. No. I won’t call him. Not this time. No matter how many times he’s actually made me feel better just by being here. I’ve noticed I was happier around him too, but it’s only short lived since he always goes back at the end of the day. Do I know why I was happier? Not really. I’ve thought of a few reasons. Because he’s the only friend I’ve made since middle school. He listens to me ramble on and on about the most useless information. Best of all he’s really nice. Doesn’t really seem like he’s tricking me either. Not that I think he could even if he wanted to. He was too sweet. 

“No.” I sighed. Cleaning out the sink and handing off the last dish. 

“Why not?” Dylan asked leaning against the counter. 

“Cause I’m tired. No point in calling if I’m just going to fall asleep,” I countered, drying my hands and heading to my room, “Make sure Isabelle and Angela are asleep by 10? Please?”  

Dylan nodded his head, I closed the door behind me and buried myself under the covers of my bed. I can’t keep on relying on Nathan to come fix every problem I have. He’s probably off dealing with whatever he’s doing right now anyways. But still, my hand reached for my phone, grabbing it and opening the messages app. I’m just gambling with myself at this point. If he answers in the next ten minutes I’ll ask to call, if he doesn’t, I’ll head to sleep. Either way it’s really a win-win. And here it goes. 

———Nathan———

I was laying on my bed, under the covers. No lights, no sounds, just nothing. I had cried earlier this morning when I visited his grave. My eyes were dry now. Red and puffy. I just sat curling in on myself while clutching the same teddy bear he gave me when I was still just a kid. It was childish, but if it’s all I have left of him then I’m taking advantage of that. 

Ironic, huh? How this holiday was supposed to bring family together. It was actually the opposite for me. Even though he didn’t actually die on this holiday, it’s just ironic how it happened this year. When we’re finally free and live like a “normal” family now. Was he watching me now? Sad and lonely in my bed? I hope he wasn’t. He’d scold me. 

My phone went off, but I didn’t feel like looking at it. It’s not like I wanted to be alone. Usually my mom would cheer me up by taking my mind off of it. Whether it was playing some makeshift game or just doing something I liked with me. What else was there to say? This year was the year I was completely alone. 

I sucked in a deep breath, picking up my phone with sore arms. I spent most of the day digging out the old flowers on his grave and replacing them with new ones. It was hard to do when a thin sheet of snow was covering most of the dirt and grass, but it was worth it to see the bright a beautiful colors. His favorites were lilacs. I remember mom telling me that. 

My eyes shot up when I saw who texted me. Ryker? I mean it was already night, so I doubt he was going to ask if I wanted to go over. But… I was kind of curious now. 

Ryker: Hey

Ryker: How was your day? 

Ryker: You’re probably doing something right now but I’d just thought I’d check what you were doing 

Sent five minutes ago. Why did he want to know what I was doing? It seemed weird to me, but maybe he was just bored. Did they celebrate? I hope they did. They seem to be happy with each other. 

Nathan: It was okay :) 

Nathan: And yours? 

Ryker: Chaotic

Nathan: Oh 

I wasn’t technically lying. My day was okay despite crying for most of it. 

Ryker: Yeahhh 

Ryker: Do you feel like calling? 

Ryker: You don’t have to of course 

I thought about it. It wouldn’t be that bad. Might keep my mind occupied.

  Nathan: Sure 

And so he called. 

“Hello?” His voice sounded tired and sad, like he just woke up or something. I couldn’t find my voice. It’s become rasp from sobbing anyways. It’d be embarrassing for it to sound like that over the phone. So hopefully it’ll get better in the morning. 

“Oh, right,” He sighed, “Sorry. I just felt like talking and usually you listen. You can just hang up if you don’t want to though.” He sounded nervous, but I didn’t want to hang up. Not only because it was the wrong thing to do, but because I always loved listening to what he was saying. No matter how irrelevant it was. It distracted my mind from everything wrong with me. And he seemed to like it when I did. 

Nathan: I’m listening 

I heard him let out a little chuckle before talking. I could hear at some points it sounded like he was going to cry, and some he sounded like he was so hurt, and sometimes he’d laugh. He changed the subject multiple times, but I kind of liked it. I just wished I could help in some other way. It sounded to me like he was stressed out and just wanted someone to be there, and I’m surprised none of his siblings were. Or maybe they were, but he just doesn’t want to put all of this on them. It seemed like something he would do. 

By the time he was done, it was an hour before midnight. Funny thing was, I wasn’t tired anymore. I was putting together pieces in my mind still about everything he had talked about. How he was mentally tired of juggling five things around at once. I would be too if I were him. How he’s been more and more exhausted by the end of the day. How his parents usually did all of these kinds of things. I was going to ask what happened to them, but I feel like that was a touchy subject. Especially when he just vented to me. I don’t mind though. Not at all. 

“Oh crap. Sorry for keeping you up.” Ryker apologized, saying sorry about five times before I texted him that it was okay. I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. 

“Thanks. Y’know. For listening.” I heard him yawn on the other side. He was the one tired. I silently laughed to myself, hugging the bear closer to my chest. If only he could see me now… this was embarrassing. He’d probably make fun of me for it. I wouldn’t care. 

“You’re too nice, you know that?” I heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. Probably Ryker getting ready to go to sleep. And I know this was selfish, but I didn’t want him to hang up. I didn’t want my mind to realize that I was alone again. Was is it really selfish then? To me, yes. It feels like I was making him do something he didn’t want to. 

“Hey, um, remember when you tried hugging me that one time? Why’d you do it?” He had asked, and I could practically see his face. Confused and happy at the same time. He was talking about when I had to stay overnight. I knew that would come up eventually, just not so soon. 

Nathan: Nobody’s ever been so nice to me before. Besides my mom of course 

Nathan: But I was kind of shocked you agreed without complaining 

Nathan: Are you mad about it?

“Mad? Nononono. Um, the complete opposite really,” He laughed quietly, “I was shocked, yeah, but happy too.” 

That gets rid of the guilt. I swear I thought I ruined everything between us, but now I know what he really thought. He wasn’t mad at me for anything. 

“What about the other day? When it was snowing. You looked comfortable. Like you were about to sleep.” My cheeks started blushing from embarrassment. I had hoped he didn’t see me snuggling closer into his palm to stay warm, but apparently he did. So embarrassing. I groaned quietly to myself, tightly hugging the bear closer. 

Nathan: Sorry 

Nathan: I was cold 

Nathan: You were warm 

Nathan: Sorry again 

It was silent for a second. 

“Why do you apologize for things like that?” 

I didn’t know the answer to that question. Usually my mind just takes over and then I spiral into the worst possible scenarios. So I have no idea why I do. Maybe because my brain thinks I’ll get hurt if I don’t? My body was scared of getting another broken bone or something getting hurt? 

Nathan: I don’t know 

It was silent again. 

“Do… do you like being around me? I-I mean most people stop talking to me as soon as they get what they want. So, I was just wondering.” His voice sounded hurt. Obviously this ha sharpened once or twice to him. And it hurt to hear that these things have happened to someone so amazing. I could never do that to Ryker. It’d hurt me more than it’d hurt him. 

“Y-yes.” I almost immediately replied, my voice a little raspy. It hurt to speak, but it was fine. It’ll get better in time. 

I heard him let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled. I was finally doing the right thing for once in my life. I’m kind of glad this was how the day ended. 

“I would give you a hug if you were here… and if you were comfortable enough with it,” We both laughed quietly, “I’ll let you go to sleep. I’ve kept you up long enough.” 

I shook my head, forgetting that he wasn’t here to see it. I didn’t want him to go. Then again he sounded exhausted. Then I would be the one keeping him up. Or he doesn’t even have to stay awake. Just the knowledge that I knew he was just on the other side of the phone was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. 

“U-Um you d-don’t have to s-stay up b-but could we stay… stay on call? P-Please.” I waited for an answer, biting my tongue for stuttering so much. My body was shaky for no reason. I was nervous. He was going to say no. He was going to say no. He was going to- 

“I would love that.” 

I wish he could see the smile I had on my face. How fast my heart was beating. I laid down under the covers, getting comfortable and staring at my phone that read: Ryker: 3:14. Three hours and fourteen minutes. Another seven won’t hurt. 

“Thank you.” 

I fell asleep a couple minutes after he did. No nightmares haunted me tonight.

—————————————

My heart is meltinggggggg

By the way, this was not the great scene I was talking about. This was just one of many to make the one I actually want to write make sense.

Anywayssss I told you guys it would be a little plot heavy for a while! I loved how this chapter came out though.

Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading! Love you guys!

[zaimta]

Hey, how are you? Can I please ask relationship headcanons for Sai from Dr Stone with a male reader? I struggle to find headcanons or scenario for him and I like this cute boy a lot.

Have a good day/night and feel free to ignore

zai says: i actually love sai so bad he's the cutest!! SAI STANS UNITE

ˏˋ«────── « 𓆩♡𓆪 » ──────»

MODERN WORLD-

he’s the sweetest guy ever, pinkie link believer because he would be too nervous to hold your hand sometimes

indoor dates just chilling at one of y’all’s places is very common for y’all. maybe playing a new video game together or binge-watching y’all’s favorite show

loves playing co-op games with you, and they end up testing your relationship so bad that it’s hilarious. like overcooked!! y’all are a mess

he lets you beat him at games from time to time because he loves seeing you smile

if you wanted him to he would mod all your consoles for you. buys you all your amiibo faves your shelves are decorated with merch because if he spots something of your favorite character he will buy it for you with a quickness

he teaches you to code!! even better if you’re like a comp sci major or something because he loves helping you study

talks to you about some random coding program for hours and it’s the cutest thing ever because it’s so obvious that he loves what he does

late night talks about how he doesn’t really want to take over nanami corp. he just wants to code and make his own game

isabelle and doomguy/doom slayer vibes

he’s such a sap for you “my boyfriend” this “my boyfriend” that whoever he’s close with knows every last unnecessary detail about you because he talks about you so much

he adores kissing your hands, he never tells you why because he always gets embarrassed

bubs enthusiast!! he loves calling you that but he never calls you that around anyone else it

STONE WORLD-

his stress is pumped up to ten, he’s always nervous about something and you calm him down

when he was first broken out of the stone he wanted to ask about you but he didn’t wanna feel like he was asking for too much oh but ryusui knew and gets you revived for sai

when sai can get some time alone with you he loves talking about the modern world and things he misses about it. he swears that once he’s able to code something he’ll code all of your favorite games (and he does!!)

he traces your stone cracks from time to time, his touch is so gentle like he’s trying not to ruin the cracks or like he’s afraid it’ll make them run deeper

he has you help him with the coding work, if you’re not that good he lets you do the simple stuff but he taught you enough so you know what you’re doing

when you find and error in his code that has him stressing (and since it’s on paper for a min it’s sm worse) he’s like “bubs you’re a genius!!” and he hugs you n kisses you all over your face

kinda loves it when you run your fingers through his hair, especially if your nails are on the long side it reminds him of when y’all would just chill in his room in the modern world

he loves when he gets to lay down with you and catch a break, little spoon he loves just wrapping his arms around you and resting his head on your chest and holding your hand

he’s so deeply in love with you

[jellybear455]

What's left of Anna - The Last of Us - Part 2

Pairings: Ellie x mother figure reader; Joel x reader

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, follows plot of the HBO series, I gave reader a name just in case that triggers you

Word count: 4200

Summary: Nearly fifteen years after the death of her sister, Anna Williams, Isabel Bailey journeys through post-apocalyptic America with her niece and a closed off stranger.

Part 1

--

Ellie is fast asleep. Her head is in my lap, and I run my fingers through her hair with one hand. The other is covered in a mixture of Joel and the soldier’s blood. I have nothing to clean it with.

Tess and Joel sit a few meters away. They both clutch their guns, watching wearily. We had been hiding out in this decrepit building since late last night. It was the furthest we could go without the daylight.

“Why are you so attached?” Tess asks suddenly.

“Good morning to you, too.” I reply quickly, as though she and Joel hadn’t been taking shifts to watch Ellie all night.

“Seriously, Bel?” Tess raises an eyebrow. “How are we supposed to the trust you if we know nothing about you?”

“I know nothing about you, either. And my name isn’t Bel.” I don’t really care that she called me by my nickname. I’m just spiteful.

Joel lifts his head. “The soldier called you Bailey. How’d he know?”

I swallow. We’re out of the QZ. These two are the only protection I have. I can’t risk lying. “My name is Isabel Bailey. I’ve known Ellie since she was born, and before she was taken to FEDRA.”

“So you’re not her mother?”

“No,” Her mother, my sister, is dead, I want to say, but the words burn at my throat.

“And the soldier?” Joel presses.

“My turn,” I say quickly. “How do you know Marlene?”

Joel glances at Tess, before speaking again. “How did the soldier know your name?”

He stares at me intensely. His eyes are stony, and there is no trace of the faraway look I saw last night. The staring contest lasts for a few more seconds before Ellie stirred.

“Did you guys sleep at all?” She asks with a yawn. She moves to stand, and Joel raises his gun. “Do I look infected?”

“Show us your arm.” Joel insists.

“Yeah. It’s not getting any worse, is it.” Ellie snarks back.

“Ellie. Tone.” I remind her. My lips twitch slightly despite myself.

Tess and Joel exchange a look for the millionth time this morning. There has to be something between then. The thought makes my throat tighten. I didn’t have time to ponder the feeling before Ellie is talking again.

“If we’re out in the open city, why aren’t we getting swarmed?”

“Don’t worry about that.” Joel replies without looking at her.

“Well, I’m gonna.”

Tess stares. “What was Marlene doing with an infected kid?”

“I’m not infected.” Silence. “She found me after I was bitten.”

“And she didn’t shoot you.”

“Clearly not. She’d lock me up and have her guys test me everyday to see if I was getting sick.”

“Test you how?” Tess asks.

I shift slightly, willing Ellie not to say much else.

“I have to pee.” Ellie says abruptly.

“Test you, how?”

“That’s enough, Tess.” I warn.

“It’s Theresa.” She mocks.

“They made me count to ten then hold out my hand and keep it steady. But, you know, I think what impressed them the most was that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster.” Ellie stands up quickly. “Now, can I please?”

Joel stands too, raising his gun. I grab my own and move in front of Ellie slightly. He sends me an irritated look.

“Fine,” Tess says, breaking the silence. “Back there, you can find a spot. Here. Tear out a couple pages.” She tossed Ellie a magazine.

“Are you sure there is nothing bad in here?” Ellie asks as she disappears through a rotting doorway.

“Just you.” Joel respond, sitting back down.

“Ha, funny.”

It was quiet for a long moment, before the annoyance boiling in my stomach bubbled over. “Jesus Christ. She’s just a kid.”

“We don’t take chances.” Joel replies after a beat. He looks down at his hand. It shakes slightly as he stretches it, and the sores look painful. Some of the irritation gives way to pity.

“Let me see.” I say, stepping forward and holding out a hand. Joel glares and Tess raises an eyebrow. “Chill out. I know what I’m doing.”

I sit cross legged in front of him, taking his hand carefully. The skin on his knuckles is torn and beginning to bruise. “Make a fist.” I instruct. “Tell me where it hurts.”

“I don’t think-”

“Tell me where it hurts.” Joel points to the knuckle of his middle finger. “Okay. Open.”

He stretches out his hand again, and I gently poke his hand, taking note of when he winced in pain.

“Marlene said you were a doctor.” Tess says.

I hummed, keeping my attention on Joel’s hand. “Graduated a few months before the outbreak.”

“I thought FEDRA took everyone with medical training?” Joel asks. I stay silent.

“That soldier knew who you were because you’re FEDRA.” Tess guesses.

“It’s fractured. Probably just hairline. If you’re careful it will heal quick.” I reply, pulling away. Joel grabs my hand with his injured one. His face contorts slightly. “I just told you to be careful.”

“Answer the question.” He presses.

I glance at Tess. She is staring intensely at me, clearly irritated with both mine and Ellie’s attempts to evade their questions. I sigh.

“Yeah, I’m FEDRA.” Tess opens her mouth to shout, but I cut her off. “I joined as a spy for a Fireflies. It wasn’t hard, all things considering. Then Ellie was born, and I shifted positions to watch over her instead.”

Tess drags her hand over her face. “So, you’re just another mindless follower.”

“No.” I snap back quickly. Now the truth was out, I couldn’t stop. “Marlene wanted me to dump Ellie. She was pissed I gave up my position for her.”

“I can imagine.” Tess replies, rolling her eyes.

I look up at Joel. He hasn’t said anything, but his hand still clutches onto mine tightly. “I didn’t know that soldier, but he came to me a few weeks ago for a broken nose. I can promise you that I am not loyal to FEDRA, or the Fireflies, really.”

Joel looks up. “Then who are you loyal to?”

Anna. “Ellie.”

He raises his eyebrows.

“Don’t be shitty. She made it through the night.” I snap.

“That doesn’t matter. It will happen, sooner or later, alright?” He turns to Tess. “We’re still close to the wall. We sneak her back into the QZ. We find a different way to get the battery.”

“This is our best shot. We take her back to the QZ, someone’s gonna notice her arm. They’re gonna scan her, and they will kill her.” Tess shoot back.

Joel squeezes my hand subconsciously. “Better her than us. We need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her.”

“She is not gonna turn, Joel.” I hiss. “We are not turning around, do you hear me?”

I glare at him, and he frowns back.

“Are you guys gonna make out or something?” Ellie suddenly appears behind me. I jolt in surprise.

“Shit, El.”

“What? You guys are holding hands, in case you didn’t notice.”

I snatch my hand from Joel’s, but regret it when I see him wince in pain. Ellie sits back down in the middle of the room, placing the rifle I took across my knees.

“You hungry?” Tess asks awkwardly. “You can share some of ours.”

Joel gives her an offended look.

“Thanks, but Marlene sent me with my own.” Ellie replies, pulling a sandwich out of her back.

Grinning, I rummage through the pack Tess gave me, finding a few sticks of jerky. I watch silently as Joel struggles to pull apart his jerky with his injured hand.

“Is that chicken?” Tess asks suddenly.

“Yeah,” Ellie replies nonchalantly. “Marlene says they get it from smugglers. Guess it’s not you guys.”

I snicker. “’Smugglers’ my ass.”

“You’re joking!” Ellie cries.

“Nah. The guy in the apartment next door has a room with just chickens. It’s inhumane, but fucking hilarious.”

Ellie laughs, but quickly sobers when Tess stalks forward. I scramble to my feet, and Joel quickly follows suit, gripping his gun.

“Why- it’s fine, Joel. Why are you so important to Marlene? And don’t lie to me, or we’ll take you back.”

Ellie gulps, glancing over at me. I open my mouth to protest.

“And don’t you say anything, Bel. We want it from her.” Joel cuts me off. I don’t argue. About Ellie or my name.

“You take me back you don’t get the battery.” Ellie replies confidently.

“You heard that?” Tess asks. Ellie shrugs. “Well then you must have heard he wants to shoot you.”

Ellie glances over at Joel. He looks away, only for his eyes to meet mine. I grasp my rifle tighter. He won’t shoot her. If he wanted to, he would have done it already. I saw how he didn’t hesitate before killing that guy outside the QZ.

“I’m gonna talk to you like you’re an adult.” Tess stalks closer, crouching in front of Ellie.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I warns.

“Let her speak.” Joel demands, shouldering his gun. He’s injured, but he wont miss. I lower my rifle.

Tess continues. “Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doing this for us because, apparently, you’re worth something. But we don’t know what you’re worth if we don’t know what we have. So answer my question.”

Ellie puts down her sandwich. “She told me not to tell anybody, and I’m gonna tell the first people that I-”

“Ellie…” I hiss.

“Shut it.” Joel snaps.

“There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west with doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

“I’ve heard this before.” Joel grumbles, putting down his gun. I follow suit.

“What ever happened to me is the key to finding the vaccine.”

“That’s what this is?” Joel snaps. “We’ve heard this a million times. Vaccines, miracle cures. None if it works. Ever.”

“Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this!” Ellie shoots back, standing up.

“You and me both. This isn’t gonna end well, Tess. We need to go back.”

I picks up my pack and rifle. “Fine. You go back to that hell hole. You look Marlene in the eye and tell her you’re too afraid to follow through.”

The quiet was deafening as Joel stared me down. I glower back, willing him to deny that he was afraid.

“Let’s just finish it.” Tess insists. “It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t what they Fireflies say. If they believe she is, then we get when we want.”

Joel glars at me for a few more seconds. “Fine. But if she so much as twitches.”

“If you pull a gun on her you’ll be the one with the bullet between your eyes, alright buddy?”

Ellie makes a noise somewhere between a gurgle and a choke. I spin around, and she’s grinning. “Don’t you dare.”

“Sorry.” She whispers, looking slightly ashamed.

Joel exhales sharply picking up his rifle and attempting to shift the cabinet he showed in front of the door. I move to help, but he sends me a scowl. “Don’t call me buddy.”

Barely two minutes later, we’re outside, and Ellie is flabbergasted. “Woah…”

I was frozen, too, but for different reasons. Boston was in ruin. Sadness tugged at my gut. I wonder what my house looked like if this was the rest of the world. The only thing truly left of my sister is Ellie.

“Looks different in the daylight, huh?” grins Tess.

Joel hops onto a fallen chunk of cement, surveying the area. “We should get moving.”

It takes about five minutes of walking for Ellie to find her voice. She peers down a large crater, and I grab her pack to stop her from falling. “It looks like a fucked-up moon. Is this where they bombed?”

“Yeah,” Tess replies, slowing to a stop. Joel keeps walking. “They hit most of the big cities like this. They had to slow the spread somehow.”

“Worked here, but it didn’t in most places.” I speak up. It certainly didn’t work in Colorado.

Joel slows and comes to a half right on the edge of a huge empty street. There are no old cars or debris. It’s unnerving to see such an undisturbed space in an otherwise ruined city.

“State house is just across there. About a ten-minute walk if you could go straight.” Tess explains.

“’If’?” I ask at the same time as Ellie says, “So?”

“Long way, or the short way.” Joel replies, ignoring me.

“Well, it’s the long way of the ‘we’re fucking dead’ way.” Tess corrects. Well, that answers my question.

Ellie looks between the pair. “I vote long way based on that very limited information.”

“We have to check the hotel first.” Joel insists.

Tess takes the lead again, and Joel brings up the rear. It had been a long time since I’d walked freely. Or how ever free you could be when the world has ended. A little part of me misses the five years after the outbreak began. We never knew if we’d see the next day, or when we’d eat again, but after we met Marlene, I was free to do what ever I wanted. Anna wanted to settle, but I was wanted to explore and find survivors. My stubbornness got the better of me far too often, and Anna was dead because of it. The most I could do was keep Ellie from making the same mistakes. I owe my sister that much.

“Why are you still here?” Joel asks suddenly. I look up, surprised. Back to the present, where Anna was dead.

“I’m sorry?”

“Why are you here? You have stayed in the QZ. I don’t understand why you’re risking so much for that kid. And don’t say for the cure. If I’ve heard that once I’ve heard it a thousand times.”

I watch Ellie talk Tess’s ear off a few meters in front of us. “I told you. I’ve known Ellie since she was a baby.”

“But?” Joel presses. For someone so reserved, he had a lot of questions. “You said Marlene gave her to you to leave with FEDRA. Why would she give her to you?”

“I owed Ellie’s mother a debt.”

“What kind?”

I adjust my grip on my rifle anxiously. “One you don’t break.”

“And now?”

Silence falls. Even Ellie didn’t know I was her aunt. I wasn’t going to tell a stranger. Especially one who wanted to kill her. Tess and Ellie draw to a halt in front of us. I miss what Tess says, but I could see a bit of pride gleaming in her eyes.

Ellie tries to hide her grin. “Thanks.”

Slinging my rifle over my shoulder, I follow the pair over an upturned car. 

“So,” Tess start talking again. “No ones gonna come looking after you? Mom, Dad… boyfriend?”

“Nope. I’m an orphan, and… no.” Ellie replies, wrinkling her nose slightly. I grin. “Bel’s my only family. And my only friend.”

“What about you, Doctor Bailey? No family?”

“No one but Ellie and Marlene.” I reply truthfully. The end of the world tends to do that to you. It takes nearly everything from you. Like sisters and courage.

Ellie looks around again. “Everyone said the city was crazy. Like, swarms of infected running around everywhere.”

“Not exactly like that.” Joel replies. It was the first he had spoken in a while.

“People like to tell stories.” Tess adds, smiling humourlessly.

“So, there aren’t super-infected that explode spores on you?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Shit, I hope not.”

“Or ones with split open head that see in the dark like bats?”

Tess looks at Joel, then me. I purse my lips, and Joel stares at the ground.

An uncanny scream echoes through the buildings. We freeze, straining to listen past the screeching crows. Subconsciously, I check my knife is still on my belt and pistol is within reach. Just in case. Ellie holds her breath, so I reach over and take her hand reassuringly. She squeezes back, holding tight as we waited.

“What was that?” She asks. None of us answer.

“Let’s keep moving.” Joel says instead.

Any inkling of companionship that we had built was gone.

--

A better name of the ‘hotel’ would have been the ‘lake’. Joel heaves the door open, scattering a few ducks and revealing the entire first floor was flooded. Once upon a time, the hotel would have been a grand establishment.

“You gotta be kidding me!” Ellie cries. “Did you ever stay in a place like this?”

“No, a little out of our league.” Tess admits.

“I did.” I answer with a grin.

Joel glances over at Ellie. “How do you even know about this stuff?”

“Have you heard of books?” She sasses back. “What was it like? Tell me everything. Don’t skimp on the details.”

I laugh out loud. It takes me by surprise. I haven’t laughed in a while. “My sister took me to a concert for my eighteenth birthday. Apparently, this is part of the experience.”

“Cool.” Ellie breathes. When I don’t say anything else she adds, “And?”

“Later, babe.”

Joel takes off down the steps towards the water.

“Wait, are we going in there?” Ellie asks, her fascination temporarily forgotten.

“Yeah. We gotta get to the stairwell on the other side.” Tess replies, following behind Joel.

Ellie looks petrified. “I, uh, I can’t swim.”

“Seriously?” Joel looks dumbfounded, and I send him a dirty look.

“Do you think we have pools in the QZ?”

He rolls his eyes. “No, smart ass. I mean-” He jumps off the last step. The water barely went past his knees.

“I don’t know how I was supposed to know that.” She replies, heading down the stairs more confidently. Still, she hesitates on the last step.

“It’s okay, El.” I reassure her, striding past through the water. I try not to think about what creepy crawlies could be swimming around.

“This is so gross.” Ellie laughs, rushing towards the service desk, and tapping the bell. The dull clunking caught Joel’s attention, and he turns to watch. “Ding ding! Yes, sir, I would like your finest suite please.”

I hoist myself up onto the desk. Shoving my finger under my nose like it’s a moustache and putting on a fake accent, I reply, “Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage?”

“Yes, sir!” Ellie giggles back.

“Right away, ma’am.”

“You guys are weird.” Joel remarks.

Ellie grabs the luggage holder, pushing it forward. “You’re weird- oh fuck!”

A body falls from the holder, knocking against Ellie’s leg. I point my gun towards it, but it quickly becomes clear that the skeleton is harmless.

“Oh my god…” Ellie pants.

“Are you okay, honey?” I ask, hopping down from the desk. I notice Joel is suddenly right in front of me, gun raised. Last I saw, he was nearly at the stairs.

“Yeah- I… sorry.”

Joel offers Ellie his hand, helping her up from where she leant against the piano. Too late, he realises its his injured one, and he flinches as she let go. I glance at it as I walk past. The bruising is purple now. I make a note to check on it soon.

“Are you okay?” Tess calls out.

“Yeah. Fucking fabulous.” Ellie replies with a sigh.

I shake my head. I wonder where that kid got her mouth, because it sure as hell wasn’t her mother.

Climbing the stairs made me miss elevators. My heart is pounding by the time Joel announces we were there.

Tess pauses to catch her breath. “Fuck. Holy shit.”

“You can say that again.” I huff.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Ellie insists. The kid was barely swayed.

“Cut me some slack, girl.”

“Is it ‘cause you’re old?”

I scoff. “I’m forty-five, not ninety.”

“Try climbing ten flours with these knees, kid.” Tess replies, gesturing for us to follow Joel.

We round a corner and stop dead before a pile of rubble. What that supposed to be there?

“When the fuck did that happen?” Tess grumbles. Guess not. They try the doors. Blocked. “Okay, I guess maybe I could climb up there, work my way around. Open it from the inside.”

Ellie pipes up, “Uh, no, I’m the smallest, so it’d be easier-”

“No. I’ll go.” I cut her off.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m perfectly capable.” Tess scoffs. “Help me up?”

I shrug. “You were just complaining about your knees, you know.”

Joel moves to help Tess, but I get there first. Kneeling, I cup my hands. Tess steps up, and I give her a boost. She crawls into the gap, disappearing in the debris. “You good?”

“Yeah, it’s just a bit of a mess. Might need a few minutes.”

Ellie slumps to the floor, leaning her lead against the wall. I follow suit, and eventually, so does Joel.

“I could have done that.” Joel mutters.

“Not what that hand you’re not. Let me see.” I demand. He holds it out reluctantly, and I examine the bruising. “I told you to be careful with it. That means don’t use it unless absolutely necessary.”

“I haven’t used it.” He retorts.

“Don’t lie.” I reply simply. “It’s childish.”

Ellie pulls out her knife, flipping it in her hand over and over.

“Nice knife,” Joel says. Ellie glares at him, before tossing the knife again. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“The circus.” She snaps. She folds the knife up. “Where are you from?”

“Texas.” Joel replies after a moment.

“What about Tess?”

“Detroit. It’s in Michigan.”

Ellie scoffs. “I go to school, I know where Detroit is.”

I continue to stare at Joel’s hand, partly to hide my grin and partly because I like holding his hand. Wait, what?

“So, are you and Tess like…”

“Pass” Joel answers quickly. I’ll take that as a no. My stomach flips a little. What is wrong with me? I’ve known this man all of about five minutes.

“How did you get to Boston?”

“Pass. No more questions about me.”

I huff a little and Joel gives me a look. He doesn’t move his hand from mine.

Ellie let the silence continue for less than thirty seconds. “How long do infected live?”

“I thought you said you went to school.”

“Yeah, it was a shitty one.”

“Ouch.” I grin. “I though I was a good teacher.”

“Oh, shut up. You were. Everyone else sucked.” Ellie replies with a smirk.

Joel exhales, thinking for a moment. “Well, some live for about a month or two. But there’s others, been walking around 20 years.”

“You guys ever kill one?”

“Yeah, a lot.” Joel replies without hesitation. Ellie looks at me expectantly.

“Um, yeah. A bunch. Too many.” I shift uncomfortably, and Joel’s thumb traces a circle on my hand.

“Is it hard knowing they were people once?” Always with the difficult questions.

Joel doesn’t answer. I sigh. “Yeah. But they aren’t people anymore, honey. It’s kinder to kill them then let them live like monsters.”

Ellie thinks it over for a second. “Joel?” He hums in recognition. “What about that guy last night?”

Joel freezes, his hand clutching mine a little tighter. Ellie notices, but she doesn’t say anything. A thud sounds from the other side of one of the doors. Joel grabs his gun, his hand slipping from mine.

“You can put the gun down, Joel.” Tess’s muffled voice calls out. She pushes something heavy out of the way, then opens the door.

“What now?” Joel asks.

Tess doesn’t meet his eyes. Instead, she leads us through the room and out onto a balcony. I lean over the end, looking down into the street. Sprawled below are dozens of infected. They groan and twitch, but otherwise remain motionless. The sight is unsettling. “Jesus.”

“There is so many.” Ellie whispers.

“The last time we were here they were still deep inside the buildings. But I guess enough people can through looking for a QZ, they went inside seeking shelter, and that’s how they’d get more and more of the city, bit by bit, year after year.” Tess explains, and I feel nauseous.

The infected writhe in a sort of Mexican wave. “They’re connected.” Ellie realises.

“More than you know,” Tess replies. “The fungus also grows underground. Long fibres like wires, some of them stretching over a mile. You step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, you’ll wake a dozen infected from somewhere else. Now they know where you are. Now then come. You’re not immune from being ripped apart. You understand?” Ellie looks surprised, doubtful, almost. “This is important. I’m trying to keep you alive.”

Ellie nods, stepping back from the balcony. “So, what now?”

“Short way?” I ask, looking over the buildings.

Tess and Joel stare at each other, another silent conversation. “Museum.” Joel says finally.

--

Taglist:

[alexanderlightweight]

babe i loved this song and the lyrics and the prompts and i hope you know that i'm going to have to come back to this. STOP SENDING MY STUFF THAT TURNS INTO WIPS (i'm joking dont stop please, because just my luck they'd pretend to take me seriously)

<3

lumine

-

Alec kneels in the dirt of the graveyard and bows his head.  Behind him, Jace hisses and steps back, pulling Fray with him.

“What, what’s going on?” Fray asks, interrupting his

“Alec, come on buddy. Not here, not like this.” Jace mutters, something almost worried in his voice, as if he knows that Alec has every right to kneel and pray.

“I pray to the hunter,” Alec vows, because he does not worship Raziel, he worships those who came before, the shadowhunters who died and bled and spilled their blessed gift in defense of the world. “For those who came first, I pray to your bones, to the dirt that claimed your flesh.”

Jace hisses and there is a sound of struggle and muffled voices and then he leaves, far enough that Fray won’t interrupt something this sacred.

Alec digs his fingers into the dirt and feels the sleeping magic of hundreds of deaths and he reaches for it, opening his soul in a way that few are able and willing to do. “I pray to the cold frost, to winter, to the bones of our dead. I offer my service, to death and decay.”

Something moves, far under the earth and Alec reaches deeper, the hard soil parting like sand beneath his grasping hands and something solid and firm pushes up into his waiting grasp.

Alec smiles, a dark and devout smear of violence across his face.

He pulls out a bow made of bone, the bleached whiteness of it gleaming in the light of the moon a soft silver and when he reaches down again, adamas tipped bone arrows fletches with the feathers of lost nephilim offer themselves to him.

Alec bows his head, letting tears fall in gratitude and feeling them freeze on his face as he cuts his lip on an adamas arrowhead and bends, pressing his lips to the now frozen and solid ground. 

“I thank the fallen.” He whispers, blood thick on his tongue and his lips coated with grave dirt, “guide me on my way.”

Alec stands, his quiver full and his bow strung with hair from a dead nephilim.  When he reaches Fray and Jace, Isabelle is with them, her face a shade paler under the moonlight and her eyes wide as she watches him.  She doesn’t offer to wipe the blood and dirt from his face, she knows better, and she clenches her jaw, and her hand goes to her wrist, as if she finally realizes how far they’ve pushed him.

Alec saves his prayers for when he needs them, that he feels he needs to now, is a sign that they have overstepped. That Alec doesn’t consider this a simple, under the armory mission. No one will be able to sanction Alec for his actions now, but the same is not true for Izzy and Jace, and he’s drawn a very clear line of how much he’s about to allow.

“What is it made of?” Fray asks, voice too close and she reaches out, as if she’s going to touch the bow and Alec reacts with a move of his hand, snapping her wrist before she can touch it and he grins as she screams.

A sharp, brutal cry that echoes the breaking of her bones.

“Do not.” Is all he says and when she backs up, sniffling and looking at Jace for help and protection, Alec smirks. “You’ve already run her once, Jace. Don’t let me stop you now.”

Jace swallows and nods, because Alec snapping her wrist is far less bad than what the bones of those Alec worships would have done.

For someone who is not in service to them to touch, to covet, to try and take, Fray would have possibly lost her entire hand if not her life.