#it being literally freezing this morning fucked me up lol. idk

[girlwithfish]

any time i have any sort of day im like i deserve a treat lol

[iminthetunnels]

i mean this respectfully! How do you provide for yourself + your son w/ no income? Do you have help? My job keeps us financially comfortable but it is sucking the life out of me ignoring and (what feels like) emotionally neglecting my child for a meaningless office job 40+ hrs/wk. IDK if it's worth it anymore but i am terrified of not being able to provide. TY if you answer ❤️❤️❤️

i really like this question bc i constantly want to speak about it on my blog LMAO

i struggle hard. i get about $240 in child support a month, and if u total everything together, my car, my car insurance, gas, diapers, wipes, food after my food stamps run out, it doesn’t last long and i basically have no savings. while saying all this, before anyone attacks me for being poor and having children despite being poor, i wasn’t poor before domestic violence, and i chose my child over everything. i have always taken care of myself and my family, and now i can’t. many such cases. nothing is ever as black and white.

i will say i but my wipes and diapers from target, with a target account, so i earn money back, and whenever i earn enough back, i pick out small little toys. like he has a gardening set from target and a little car, bought entirely with points from buying diapers.

also, i have amazing friends. a little while ago, when my house flooded, a mutual sent me a large sum of money, with that money i was able to shop secondhand and purchase a lot of 2-4t clothes, meat, and things like oats, fruit i can freeze, and i’m still living off that. i do take advantage of the churches food banks (but i only take whole, real foods, never in cans or packages unless they’re like plain no seed oil raisins) not too long ago, i was able to pick out free clothes from a ministry, so i was able to get clothes that actually fit me:)

i relied on my tax return a lot for extra stuff like getting clothes, more activity sets that i don’t have to makeshift (i don’t mind doing this, like using cardboard for a little hands on activity set) but i have been “randomly selected for screening” by the IRS. LOL many such cases. i haven’t gotten my taxes at all.

basically, i struggle, and some times i get scared bc my car is old. i have amazing friends, lin, rayce, my mom LMFAOOO she’ll buy my child’s milk some times and some snacks that she knows i approve of. most importantly, i pray. and i put lots of faith in god to take care of us. i have a water dispenser, where i fill up water for around $5, three 5 gallon water containers last me around a month or so. i make my own laundry detergent, i have a costco card where i buy bulk toilet paper, use flour sacs as paper towels. i literally just try my best and it always ends up working out. i have debt for sure, like i have my car debt. but i don’t worry too much about it. i’m almost finished paying it off. i should really get into selling my precious moments figurines because i have hundreds.

thank u for such a good question. at the end of the day, i know we go without a LOT of things. but i know that gods earth is totally free, we can walk around the park and run for hours, and that’s our entertainment. i would much rather be with my child than put him in some state funded daycare and work for a dead end job that actually doesn’t care about me. i don’t pay attention to what we don’t have, but rather appreciate what we do have and love my sweet baby with all my being. i just want to be present for him. i don’t know if i’m making sense LOL. i’m sorry. but if i had to be honest, i would say, fuck a job, i’d rather be here with my son. i have been looking at farming positions, and maybe helping someone on their farm in the early mornings, i’d want to bring my child with. and at home positions (as crazy as this sounds) aren’t that much better. constantly in front of a computer would drive me absolutely batshit insane… and would still take time away from my baby. i’m just letting go and letting god. i hope this isn’t too crazy sounding :( i could rly ramble on about this topic!!!

[sukirichi]

— out of reach | gojo x reader

request: Girllllll I just read your jealous gojo fic and my heart went 📈📈📈📈💥💥💥 youre now one of my fav writers 🙏🧎‍♀️And the spicy parts 😫😫😫 💖 If your asks are still open, could I please request a fic where GOJO has a size kink 🥺🥺🥺 my 5’1 ass is obsessed with that shizzzz 

pov: you’re gojo’s childhood friend and roommate – which leads to utter chaos – or perhaps utter bliss?

warnings: size kink, lots of teasing, lots of cursing, dirty talk, choking (probably not in the way you think), body worship, lots of size difference scenes, slight manhandling, overstimulation, thigh fucking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl guys) + unedited fic :D

notes: idk what happened here LMAOOO but i loved writing this one because i’m short as hell too lol. thanks for this request anon, i hope you like it! <3

word count: 10.5k

masterlist ! 

If you’re going to be honest, having Gojo as a roommate is something completely unexpected.

Not only are you two from entirely different worlds – him as a jujutsu sorcerer and you as an average human who can’t see curses – but he’s also just someone who is entirely out of your league. He’s respected and looked up to in his field of work, while half of your co-workers don’t even know your name, much less notice you in function parties where you mostly just nibble on sushi before calling it a day and turning back home.

You and Gojo met in elementary school. You could tell from the way he’s surrounded by servants and stern looking adults, firm hands on his small shoulders, that he was different from everyone else.

Apparently, he comes from one of the three big clans in the jujutsu world or whatever. You honestly don’t care about any of that, because Gojo refuses to act maturely about his role in the clan. You still remember how quiet he was on the first day of school, never smiling and keeping to himself despite your persuasion to eat lunch with him or play with him after school in the courtyard.

You miss that Gojo Satoru – the quiet, serious kid who was far too gentle in his actions yet firm in his words and beliefs. When you were still a little girl, you admired how he seemed older than his age, a wistful look in those azure blue eyes of his that you’ve always loved.

To you, Gojo Satoru was your hero. You’ve always been one of the shortest kids in class, and it didn’t help that you really loved pigtails all the way until middle school that made you an easy target from immature people who’s being hit way too fast by puberty and growing each passing day. You never minded your short stature because really, it’s just height, but you couldn’t ignore how your confidence dwindled each day when they called you several array of nicknames.

Too shy to fight back, you’d laugh it off or force a smile.

Gojo wasn’t having any of it. He’d break his silence and immediately pull you to his side (which only made things worse because Gojo was one of the tallest kids in class, further emphasizing how small you are right next to him) before threatening to smack the kids right in the face.

The threat should be enough to land him detention, but because he’s Gojo Satoru, the golden kid everyone loved, they took his word seriously.

At the age of eleven, you started seeing your best friend as your knight in shining armour. Gojo basked in this, growing protective and always glaring at whoever snickered when you walked past them. Sometimes he even bared his teeth to hiss at them, which was honestly so ridiculous now that you think about, though the message – the threat – always came across loud and clear.

So yeah, you love Gojo, you still do.

Years flew by and the two of you grew apart due to work and also as a part of growing up. You still kept in contact, messaging each other once a month to ask the other how they’re doing. His work kept him extremely busy though, and Gojo didn’t want you involved in the dangers of what he’s doing, so he makes sure to keep a safe distance.

Until six months ago, you hear a banging on your door. You’re just about ready to throw hands because your former roommate moved out to live with her stoner boyfriend, leaving you to shoulder all the bills and responsibilities of maintaining a two man apartment.

A sneer forms on your lips as you swing the door open, a scowl already on your face. You assumed it was your roommate who returned to get the pair of lace panties they left in their room, but instead, your childhood friend stands before you, taller (seriously, how has he not stopped growing?) and definitely a lot hotter than the last time you saw him.

One thing leads to another, and now it feels like there was never such distance between the two of you with how easily you both fell back into a comfortable – yet chaotic – rhythm and routine of being each other’s roommate.

Not that you mind, of course. Gojo’s definitely changed a lot from when you were kids. He’s no longer that stiff or sensitive when it comes to others. In fact, it seems like he loosens up a lot more with age, because you can barely recognize the man living under the same roof with you now.

For one thing, Gojo is loud. Like really talkative, won’t shut the fuck up and speaks like he’s in a screaming contest with someone. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking an important phone call or sleepwalking at three in the morning to pee, Gojo is always creating some sort of ruckus.

You’d never admit it out loud, but you loved it. You love him.

He’s definitely a lot more enthusiastic and fun to be with now that both of you have grown up, or in Gojo’s case, simply aged. His maturity reversed backwards because it feels like you’re taking care of a little kid.

Not only does his body clock is practically non-existent, he’s also horrible when it comes to taking care of himself and being punctual with work.

Fortunately for him, you love him, and you both leave for work at the same time. You always wake up earlier to prepare breakfast so you’d both have energy to start the day – although you highly doubt there’s really anything that depletes his endless source of one.

Sleepily walking through the kitchen with your fist rubbing at your eyes, you rummage through the refrigerator for some eggs when you realize there’s none.

Huh, you think to yourself, scratching your scalp. You’re sure that Gojo went grocery shopping last week since it’s his chore to do the outside stuff like buying groceries and throwing thrash, so where did it go?

You open shelf by shelf, checking each corner and shoving cans aside to look for the tray. With a glare, you stand on your tiptoes to pull the pantry open, only to have your mouth fall aghast because it’s all there – right at the back where you can’t reach it!

Fucking Satoru, you grit your teeth while heaving your body up onto the counter. It’s a struggle because not only are your muscles still half asleep, but because the shelf is right in your face, and if you’re not careful enough, you could hit it right with your face and fall over. Of fucking course you know Satoru did this to make fun of you – and now you retract your statement over your best friend.

It’s all a lie.

He’s a pain in the ass. Why do you even bother cooking for him and letting him live literally just a room away when you know he won’t stop pulling shit like this?

Because, the nagging voice in your head tries to mock, he’s your best friend and you can’t really say no to him. This makes you huff as you carefully pull the tray towards you, hooking two fingers at the edge while your other palm grips at the end of the counter for support. No thanks to your short limbs, you’re practically hogging the shelf by now in an attempt to reach it. You look ridiculous, that’s for sure, and you make a mental note to keep Satoru’s windows open tonight so he freezes to death –

“Aw, cupcake,” a sing-song voice emerges from the other side of the room. “You look so adorable. You should’ve woke me up if you need my help.”

“Fuck off, Satoru,” you flip him off. The man only laughs, the rambunctious sound echoing off the walls. It’s way too early in the morning and he’s already so damn loud; something builds up at the back of your head out of frustration already. His grin only gets wider when you finally got the eggs and clutch it your chest, setting it down on the counter while wiping your sweat away from your face. “Freeloader,” you mutter under your breath, ignoring him when he happily skips over to you.

“Ouch,” he places a palm over his chest, although you both know he’s never really affected by anything. “So what’s for breakfast today? You?”

“You know, I can kick you out anytime I want. I’m being extremely nice even going as far to cook you breakfast before you leave for work, so don’t test my patience.”

“Exactly, my best friend is so kind,” Satoru grows the audacity to rest his arm on your head. This triggers a reflexive response from you; shoulders tensing up and hands curling into fists beside you. “I would totally date her if she wasn’t such a temperamental little devil,” you nearly stab him with a fork with his statement, which he thinks he’s being so sly for but you heard it, and you’re most definitely not pleased with it. “Okay, I’m kidding! I’m going to go shower now!”

You roll your eyes at him and heat the pan over with some oil, muttering under your breath that you’re really going to kick him out soon. As if things couldn’t get worse – as if Satoru couldn’t get any worse – he smacks your backside in the process before darting to the showers.

“Gojo Satoru!”

“Morning, best friend, love ya!”

You were right. He is a pain in the ass.

“You don’t always have to walk me to work.”

“I know.”

“So why’re you still here? I’m not a little kid anymore,” Contrary to your words, you stick closer to Satoru when the morning rush of workers and students begin to crowd the streets. Your best friend notices this with a small smile, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Don’t even try, Satoru.”

“I wasn’t saying anything.”

“I know that look on your face,” you fiddle with the buttons of your uniform, sighing when Satoru follows you inside the bus after tapping your phone for two seats. It’s not a surprise to you anymore that most of your expenses are spent by him, for him, and he lazily sprawls his long limbs across the seat before you pulling you down right next to him.

As much as you hate this man, especially because he smirks at the attention he’s receiving from women – even men – in the bus, you have to admit he’s warm and smells damn good. You bite the inside of your cheeks, looking around in slight self-consciousness before inching a little closer, just to feel his warmth. He’s comforting – irrationally so – so you set your bag between the both of you to keep your sanity. “If you keep doing this, Principal Yaga might fire your ass because you’re never on time.”

“Trust me, cupcake, he won’t. I’m too valuable for that.”

How you saw that coming – you can’t tell anymore. The bus ride is relatively quiet and eventless, with you dozing off every now and then because you’re never a morning person. Thankfully, Satoru is more respectful this time around, lolling your head until it drops to his shoulder. After that, he snakes his arm around your waist before resting it on your thigh as a way to say you don’t have to head bang every damn second and just sleep.

On any other occasion, you would’ve hated it. You always look so small whenever you’re in Satoru’s presence. It doesn’t help that he’s long and lanky, either, his slender fingers effortlessly caressing your thigh while almost your entire body is flushed next to him. But right now, he’s too warm, too soft, and you’re too tired that for just a little bit, you allow yourself to relax.

A beeping wakes you up a moment later. Opening your eyes, you push yourself off Satoru when you see an old lady reaching for the handles. No one gave up their seats for her even as the bus driver asked her to find a seat lest she’d fall.

“Grandma, here, take my seat—” You’re about to stand up and offer it to her when Satoru tugs you by the wrist. Because of your small, wobbly composure, pulling you to him takes little to no effort. You end up on his lap, sitting on him as if you’re nothing but a small, dainty schoolbag. Satoru is clearly enjoying this because you feel him breathily laugh on the back of your neck, charming – annoyingly so – as he gestures to the now empty spot beside him.

“It’s no worries, Grandma. She’ll be fine,” he gestures to you, patting your head like you’re some puppy. “Please, take a seat. The bus is already moving.”

“Satoru, get off me,” You wriggle yourself from his hold, which only ends up in wasted effort because this big oaf doesn’t even budge. He even bounces you on one of his thighs, and you dig your nails into his arms as a silent plead for him to stop. He ignores this, ignores your small whines and the apparent embarrassment that has you debating whether to punch him or hide yourself in the safety of his uniform.

“She’s a feisty little one, isn’t she?”

The old lady watches the two of you banter, giggling behind her wrinkled hands. “You’re an adorable couple.”

“I think so too!”

“You’re so going to pay for this, Satoru,” you grumble, face planted onto your palms. This is it – the worst day of your life. It’s even worse because despite your protests, you have to admit his lap is actually comfortable. You’ve already known this before after countless times of cuddling with Satoru during movie nights, but its different when you’re both out in public. It feels...oddly intimate and maybe even romantic when he rubs soothing circles at your back, almost as if apologizing for this event. Most of all, you just hate the way something pools beneath your stomach at having him so close to you like this. “This is so embarrassing. I’m practically crushing you with my weight.”

“Please, cupcake, you barely weigh anything. I could easily lift you off with just my finger,” when you elbow him in the chest, Satoru only laughs, raising both hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing.”

You give up. No one seems to be paying much attention to any of you anyway, so you sigh, letting yourself hide in the crook of his neck as you watch the city pass through the windows. Your body moves as his chest rises and falls from his breathing, the movement oddly comforting. It’s embarrassing – it really is – but at least the grandma was comfortable until Satoru drops you off near your building.

“You don’t have to walk me all the way there.”

“Why not? You don’t want people to see us together or something?”

“No,” you stare at him from the corner of your eye. It’s no secret Satoru is attractive. This bastard knows it too, judging from the way he confidently and arrogantly swaggers next to you, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he walked with no care in the world. “My co-workers keep asking me for your number every time I tell them we’re not dating. It’s getting annoying at this point how they go Satoru this and Satoru that.”

“Am I hearing it right? Is cupcake jealous?”

“I’m not jealous, I’m disgusted,” you correct, “They don’t know how much of a pain you are to have around. They’re so focused with your looks that they completely overlook the fact you can’t even wash your dirty underwear!”

Satoru frowns at this, pointing his finger to you as if you’ve accused him of a huge crime. “Hey, I wash my underwear.”

“Yeah and last time you did, you mixed it with whites! My work uniform turned a stupid shade of blue! Now I can’t picture the colour of your boxers out of my head and it’s giving me a headache!”

“Wow, Y/N,” the smirk on his face and the sudden drop of nicknames lets you know you’ve said something wrong. Even behind his blindfold, you could tell his eyes are just sparkling with amusement. He’s enjoying this way too much. “I never thought you’d ever picture my boxers. I mean, I don’t mind showing it to you if you ask nicely—”

“Ugh, you’re so hopeless. I’m going to work.”

Gojo laughs when you jog away from him. He catches up with you in a matter of seconds, only having to take a few steps forward before he’s right beside you again. You’re unsure if you should be annoyed it’s so easy for him to always be right next to you, and how he almost always is right next to you while you prefer running away. It muddles with your heart and mind so much you pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to be swayed by the sickeningly sweet sound of his laughter. “I can’t pick you up later, okay? I might work overtime!” (that’s a lie since Gojo prefers shopping and sightseeing)

Both of you know that’s a lie. Gojo never works overtime. He’s going to work for a few hours and so and call playing around with his students as “on-hand learning” before he goes shopping for stupid souvenirs and wild-flavoured mochis, then end his day by sightseeing and coming back home.

“Wasn’t expecting you to,” you mumble, waving goodbye to him as the office doors close. Slowly, Satoru’s grin and enthusiastic farewell fades into view until nothing but the pale, silver walls of your office greets you.

Funny how you claim to hate this man so much, yet the moment he’s out of sight, everything becomes dull and pointless.

It’s an absolutely shitty day. Your equally shitty boss blames you for something you didn’t even do, all because his incompetent secretary – who you’re sure he’s sleeping with �� lost this month’s report and claimed she handed it to you last week when you’re not involved in that kind of work. Logic doesn’t come by them because your boss publicly humiliates and scolds you, calling you all kinds of names until tears are streaming down your face.

You slam the door shut the moment you get home, kicking your shoes off as you head straight to your room. You don’t bother taking your makeup off anymore as you change into a loose shirt and floral cotton shirts, padding to the kitchen after seeing Satoru is well nestled into the couch.

At least someone’s had a good day.

Seeing as the sink is empty, he probably hasn’t eaten dinner. This makes you sigh, because when will he ever learn to look after himself? He’s literally like a child.

Satoru pauses whatever he’s watching before he hovers over you, head tilted to the side as he gazes at you with curiosity. You ignore him and begin to set down some bowls and chopsticks for dinner, all the while Satoru is studying every inch of your tightly pulled face. “Bad day?” he concludes.

“Hmm.”

“Bad day it is then,” he nods to himself. “I can cook dinner, if you want.”

“And have you burn my apartment? No thanks,” you scoff, pushing him aside to retrieve the pans when you see that he’s placed them above again, even after you’ve reminded countless times to just leave it near the holders in the sink. “Ugh, why do you keep putting the pans in this shelf? You know I can’t reach this. I’ve had enough with you pulling pranks on me, and don’t think I’ve forgotten you placed my shampoo above the shower head today, you idiot,” you snarl and hop over the counter again to get the pans, trying your best to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. “You’re really bothersome, you know that?”

“Then why don’t you kick me out?” he challenges, completely oblivious to how you’re struggling – both physically and emotionally. “You always complain about me being a nuisance here, but you’re not really doing anything to keep me out.”

“Because where else would you go?”

“Technically, I have a room back at the Institute.”

“Yeah, but because you’re so stupid and reckless that you got kicked out of your own home,” you spat out, and you watch as Satoru raises a brow at your statement. Banter is common between the both of you, but something about the intensity of your gaze lets him know you’re serious this time around. “I don’t even know how Yuuji puts up with you. That poor Megumi is right when he says you’re insufferable. You’re good for nothing!”

Satoru scoffs, “Fine, if you hate me that much, why didn’t you just say so earlier? I could easily pack my bags and go since I’m just making everything harder—” Satoru doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying when your hand over the counter that acts as support slips under you, and you fall, legs bent awkwardly while you scream, preparing yourself for the impact. The pan is long forgotten, your only thought was oh my god, so this is how I die.

But it never came, and you keep your eyes shut tight even as warm hands cup your ass. Satoru is breathing hard under you. Finally gaining the courage to crack an eye open, your breath halts when you see that he’s sitting on the floor, with you safely nestled between him.

Satoru has always had pretty eyes, but it’s rare he takes off his blindfold off even when he’s home. This is one of those rare occurrences that he seems like a normal human, dressed in a gray sweatshirt that hands low from his collarbones and magnetic blue eyes staring right back at you. His touch is gentle, almost as if he’s afraid to hurt you, and his voice that is usually loud and teasing comes out breathy and hesitant.

“Are you okay?”

Your gaze drops down to his lips. He’s close, so close, that if you just lean a little closer you could – you snap out of your daze. “Get off me.”

“Cupcake, you’re the one who’s on top of me,” his voice falls an octave lower, eyes flitting down to your clothing – or rather the lack of it – before Satoru takes a deep breath. “Did you really have to wear that?”

“I have the right to wear whatever I want in the comfort of my own home.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” he raised a brow, this time completely in control of himself as he gazes back up at you with a burning gaze. You see nothing but the way one corner of his lips tilt up, almost teasing, and he looks so much like a shit-eater that you feel heat crawl down your spine.

You push yourself off him but your bent foot behind you slips, and you fall forward with your hands clutching his strong shoulders. Satoru catches your leg behind you, drags it forward until your knee is pressed in between one of your warmth, very much still enjoying the way you wriggle away from his hold. He knows his effect on you – but you deny this wholeheartedly.

“Careful, cupcake. This isn’t a slip and slide.”

“I hate you so much,” you bare your teeth at him, slapping his chest until he finally lets go of you. Turning your back to him, you pick up the pan and begin preparing your dinner, muttering curses under your breath as you heat up the stove. “I’m kicking you out tomorrow.”

“Why not now?”

“Eat your damn dinner first.”

Dinner after that is awkward. Although Gojo is someone who can wolf down his meal in three seconds, he takes his time in eating to start conversation with you. Sometimes he asks decent questions like how your day was or he’d talk about something stupid, but he’s quiet the whole time. He even volunteers to do the dishes before retreating to his room, coating the house in silence.

It almost feels like you’re all alone over again.

You’ve gotten so used to him being an utter mess everywhere that when he’s not trying to piss you off and actually giving you the much needed peace, you begin to hate it. Memories of the rude things you’ve said to him a while ago play and in your head, and you bang your head against the wall repeatedly.

How are you supposed to apologize to Satoru now?

The answer doesn’t come until you stare at your walls, wide awake at midnight. The house is still eerily silent and you don’t stop shuffling around your bed in discomfort. Many times, you wished that Satoru would shut up and leave you alone, but now that he’s actually done that, it feels weird. Uncomfortable. It feels wrong.

With a grunt, you kick off the sheets and carefully tread to his room, knocking lightly in case he’s already sleeping. “Satoru?” you call out, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Are you awake?”

You’ve seen Satoru angry as kids before, but what would he be like now? Would he still want to be your friend? Would he still annoy you by hiding your things somewhere you can’t reach? Or would he be the who is now out of reach? If he leaves...who’s going to walk you to work? Who’s going to complain he doesn’t want to do groceries but buys you things you don’t ask for but want anyway? Who’s going to keep teasing the living daylights out of you if not him?

All these thoughts claw at the back of your mind until your bottom lip trembles. You hate how weak you feel; how you’re never careful with your words.

You never meant it when you said all that.

Your train of thought is cut off when the door swings open, revealing an equally tired-looking Satoru. At the sight of you peering up at him with glossy eyes, he pushes the door wider and steps closer to you, his large hands cupping your face as he leans down in worry. “Cupcake,” his brows pinch together, “Did something happen? Is something wrong?”

“I just wanted to apologize for everything I said,” you blurt out, “I was just tired from work and my boss was being shitty, so I wasn’t totally myself that time and I’m really sorry I took my anger out on you. I didn’t mean it when I said you’re insufferable and that I’m kicking you out so – yeah,” you breathe out, trailing your gaze downwards to stare at your feet instead. It’s difficult to look him in the eye right now. When you finally gain courage to speak again, it barely comes out as a whimper, your hands delicately tugging at his shirt. “Please stay. I like having my best friend around here.”

Satoru doesn’t answer.

You’re about to look up at him just in case you’ve said something wrong, or worse, he refuses to forgive you, but then – “Yeah, I know you wouldn’t kick me out. You’re too much of a darling to say no to me.”

Sigh. Satoru laughs when he sees your shoulders deflate, absolutely shattered in exhaustion. Hiding your smile to now show him you’re relieved, you punch his chest that really feels like a fly had accidentally flew into him. “Way to ruin the mood, Satoru. And here I thought I could have a serious conversation with you for once.”

“Apology accepted,” he beams, tilting your chin upwards so you could look at him. Even in the darkness of his room, his eyes glow, leaving you hypnotized in its beauty. “Plus, I think I’m the one who should apologize. You’re right; I haven’t been the best roommate and I am a freeloader,” he scratches the side of his head in thought. “But I do buy you food all the time though.”

“Yeah, with my money,” you counter, but you don’t really care anymore at this point. You’re beyond elated you’re both fine now, and you shyly gesture to his big, warm bed that suddenly looks so comfortable. “Can I stay here for tonight?”

“You want Satoru’s bear hug?”

“Yes, I do.” There’s no hesitation in your words and you don’t complain anymore when he easily picks you up like a ragdoll using only one arm. He’s surprisingly gentle when he places you both down on the bed, sheets warm and soft as it blankets over you.

It would be perfect – except it’s so damn awkward.

Gojo’s long limbs are everywhere. Your face is pressed into his chest, both your legs tangled together. His arm is sprawled over the curve of your hip, his hand nearly grazing your ass that’s barely covered by the thin material of your shorts, but if he shifts, he’ll end up cupping the back of your thighs which is equally uncomfortable.

He seems to be stuck in the same position because you’re so small, and your knees are grazing his groin. Had he known you’re going to sleep with him, he would’ve worn underwear or even boxers under his sweatpants.

He’s never told you before, but he prefers to sleep in the nude. Satoru only picked up the nearest pair of pants when he heard you knock, and even then, he didn’t have the time to wear a shirt.

Your breath is hot on his skin and he’s so sensitive and aware of all your movements. Satoru clears his throat awkwardly, shifting until his arm lightly holds your back instead, but then he pulls away as if he’s touched fire when he’d unknowingly fiddled with your bra clasp instead. It’s so painfully awkward that Satoru chuckles above you, while you scrunch your nose, silently praying to the heavens above that he won’t hear how loud your heart is beating right now.

“Why is it so hot in your own room?”

“Maybe it’s time you get me an AC.”

“You wish, Satoru,” you mumble beneath him, making yourself as comfortable as you can with your cheek resting on his bicep. It’s not the softest pillow considering he’s pretty muscular, but he’s warm and smells like mint spice nevertheless. “You’re really not going to put on a shirt?”

Satoru sighs, a long and loud one that is extended for dramatic purposes. Suddenly, he pushes your knee off of him, grimacing and thanking the darkness that you can’t see how much he’s struggling right now. “Cupcake, this is hard for me as much as it is for you. You’re barely wearing anything.”

“Since when have you cared about what I wear?”

“I’m a man, Y/N,” is what he reasons with, “You’re lucky it’s me. Had it been someone else and you crawled into their bed wearing these—” Satoru pinches the waistband of your shorts, and you squeal in protest, only making him laugh afterwards before he lets it go and the material snaps back at your skin, “—poor excuse of what you call shorts, I can’t guarantee they’ll give you a peaceful night.”

You know exactly what he’s trying to hint at. Still, it’s hard to believe that Satoru is capable of seeing you that way.

It’s not that you feel you’re unattractive. You know you’re pretty and have been out on many dates, but it’s easy to feel that you’re not sexy when you have the height of a thirteen year old and you’ve been constantly chastised about it.

Satoru’s not-compliment compliment has your heart skipping a beat, and you scoff in response. “Shut up,” you warn lamely, “I want to sleep.”

“Then let’s sleep, cupcake.” You don’t know if it’s because you’re utterly exhausted that you doze off seconds later or if Satoru’s words just held power in them, but soon all thoughts of anything unwanted drifts out the window, his arms keeping you close, completely safe and sound until the worst nightmares couldn’t even come close.

Hot. It’s extremely hot.

You crack an eye open to try and find the source of this uncomfortable heat, but you freeze when you realize you can’t feel your muscles from the chin down. Panic rises in your throat once you see the current predicament you’re in, and a scream rips through your throat so loud that the birds outside scurry away in a flurry.

You’re wrapped in Satoru’s blanket and comforter, rendering you unable to move because of how he’d treated you like a burrito wrap. Even your toes are captured inside this hell, and only your head is able to wriggle side to side.

“Satoru!”

The culprit comes out of the shower a split second later, his hair dripping wet and only a towel hanging low from his lips. If you weren’t so hell-bent on killing him, you would’ve been speechless at the way water drips from his hair down to the curves of his abs, going down down down into a place only your darkest imaginations could take you.

Satoru bends over in laughter as he whips out his phone, jumping from angle to angle and side to side to take photos of you. “Fuck,” he howls, slapping his thigh while you snarl in an attempt to break free. “You’re a lot cuter than I thought you’d be.”

“Satoru! Get me out of here!”

“No, this is way too gold. I’m sending these to my students.”

“Satoru, I’m serious!” The devil incarnate himself falls deaf to your please.

Maybe it’s because the violent intent has coursed through your veins so strongly that a surge of energy and strength overcomes you, and soon, you’ve rolled out of the blanket. The fresh air nipping at your heated skin is most welcomed, but right now, you had a mission to fulfil: obliterate Gojo Satoru.

The platinum haired man is still laughing to himself, too distracted in scrolling through the best photos to send to his students that he doesn’t notice you escaping and zooming straight right at him.

The momentum is enough to catch him off guard until you end up on top of him, short arms clawing your way through to snatch his phone. Satoru yelps when his phone lands out into the living room and your hands come down to choke him. You don’t have plans to kill him, but you want to hurt him enough to remind him you’re not someone he can fuck with.

You’ve just about had enough of this man and you’re so sick of him!

Satoru yells out a “Hey!” when you let out a battle cry, using your legs to kick him back when he tries to sit up. Your plan backfires when your hands slip down his wet skin and you fall face forwards, hands barely touching the ground for support when your lips come crashing down on his.

He stills underneath you. It takes a moment for you to realize that holy shit, you’re kissing him and his lips are so soft that has you scrambling back, but Satoru doesn’t let you.

His large hand comes up at the back of your neck to pull you forward. The sudden movement makes you gasp, and Satoru slips his tongue inside when you do so. You no longer remember how you got here or try to make sense of what’s going on, because he feels so good, tastes so good that you bury your nails in his hair while he ravishes your mouth.

You’re so tiny that his hand cups your entire buttcheek almost possessively, a low growl emanating deep in his throat when your tongue eagerly intertwines with his. Satoru tastes like heaven and everything about the kiss is sloppy – tongue clashing with one another and teeth nibbling at the other’s lips. It’s clear both of you can’t get enough of one another as you moan in his mouth, shamelessly grinding on his crotch, suddenly thankful that you’re always wearing thin clothes when you feel him harden underneath you.

“Fuck, baby,” he pulls away to breathe, a string of saliva connecting the both of you. “Yeah, just like that,” There’s something empowering about the way he pants at your ministrations, especially when you roll your hips faster across his erection. “Keep going, baby, you’re doing – fuck – so well.”

You smirk at his praises, latching your teeth on his neck to suck marks on them. Satoru groans at the same time you muffle your moans through his skin, his hands sliding under your shirt to tug the cups of your bra down. You nearly lose it when he pinches your nipple, bolts of electricity running down your spine at the contact. A moan breaks through your lips just as you come right there and then, the wetness of your sudden orgasm barely hidden in your flimsy underwear.

“Feel good?” he teases and drags your shirt down to the other side, but the post-nut clarity hits. And when it does, it hits hard.

Fuck. You just came from Satoru’s simple touches, and he’s so unsatisfied, still painfully hard underneath you but nothing but panic and regret washes over you like a strong tidal wave. Suddenly, you grow lightheaded as you push yourself off him, fixing your bra while ignoring the confused and hurt look on his face.

“I gotta go to work,” you run out the room, feeling your body tremble as Satoru runs after you. “Make yourself breakfast. I’ll eat on the way out.”

“Y/N, wait!”

You know you’ve just ruined everything – that nothing will ever be the same after that – but you’re scared, utterly and remorsefully so, that you slam the door right in his face as if you don’t have any idea how much you broke him.

You’ll never forget the way Satoru’s face fell when you left.

Just as you thought, nothing is the same after that. The tension is so thick around the apartment you make an effort and go out of your way just to avoid him and the apartment completely.

It’s cowardly – you know this much – but do you ever try to fix the friendship you cherish but shattered completely? You don’t. You don’t because it only crashes down onto you now that maybe your feelings for him aren’t just platonic, after all. It’s even worse because you touch yourself at the thought of him filling you up when he’s asleep, all because you want him so bad and the mere presence of him has your brain malfunctioning.

It isn’t entirely sexual either. Yes, you want to fuck him badly, but it scares you down to the core even more because you want so much more than that.

Now you understand why you always say he’s a bother but never asked him to leave. It’s because you like him, actually romantically interested in him. It makes sense now why you always felt so annoyed whenever your co-workers asked for his number, or how you’re immediately pissed off when Satoru talks about this hot woman he saw at work. You always chalk it up to an excuse you just hate how he can’t keep in his pants, but it isn’t true at all.

It’s because you actually like him – and you’re at a loss on what to do or how to deal with it.

The next few days feels like hell. Satoru isn’t stupid; he knows you’re avoiding him. He stops teasing you eventually and even buys takeout all the time when you lock yourself up in your room right after work, refusing to cook dinner or even eat all so you’d be spared the torture of looking at him.

He’d knock at your door and ask you to eat, but other than that, he’s respected your distance.

You feel like the most terrible person on earth. You don’t miss the way dark circles line under his eyes or how he’s lost his spark, barely even speaking to you when you’ve come or about to leave for work.

You’re alone the whole ride, as well, and it only dawns on you how lonely you are when Satoru isn’t always annoying you all the time.

But it doesn’t make sense. Why is he so bothered by it? Didn’t he regret it? It’s painfully clear you’re not Satoru’s type. You’ve seen the women he dated before, and you’re not close to them so why does he seem like he’s struggling with this as well? Or maybe...he’s just sad that his friend is avoiding him.

Yeah, that has to be it.

Satoru is a man. He was probably turned on at that time, but after giving some thought about it, he probably wants to keep his distance too. He’d be insane if he ever actually wants to date you – his best friend out of all people – because he’s Gojo Satoru and he could literally have everyone else.

You don’t care that you’re a coward.

You don’t care that Satoru is sad to see you this way.

You don’t care because you know he’ll reject you, you know he’ll be weirded if you admit your feelings for him. To him, you��re like his little sister. There’s just no way you two would work out. For now, you have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. You just need some time to get over your feelings for him, and when you’re confident you won’t fall for him again, you’ll mend your friendship.

You just need time.

“So, Y/N, you still don’t want to give us your friend’s number?”

“Yeah, Y/N, you should share it,” your co-worker encourages by jabbing her shoulder to yours. It’s a lazy Friday night and the staff went out for dinner. You don’t usually come to these hangouts since dinner with Satoru is always much more fun, but he’s the last person you want to think about now, so you happily join them. Now, though, you’re starting to regret ever coming here. “If he’s really single like you said, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to ask for it.”

“Well, since you want it so badly, why don’t you ask him directly for it instead?” you snap, feeling anger begin to trickle. All you wanted was just one day where you don’t have to think of him, but of course they had to bring him up. It’s also annoying how they can never seem to get the message across that you don’t want them dating him. “Why do I have to be the messenger?”

“We haven’t seen him much. Doesn’t he always walk you to work?”

“He’s been busy with his job, that’s all.” And also because I’m avoiding him – so now he’s avoiding me too.

“He’s a teacher, right?”

“Oh, come on, guys, don’t be so dense,” your senpai chugged her drink rather loudly, catching the attention of your nosy co-workers who wouldn’t stop pestering you for his number. “Look at how uncomfortable she looks. It’s obvious she doesn’t want you guys to be involved with her friend for a reason. Think of how weird it is for her too if ever her co-worker and best friend dated. She’s going to feel like a third wheel.”

“I’m not—”

“That makes sense,” your co-worker nodded beside you, “Are you sure you just don’t like him though?”

“Ew, why would I?” the food began to taste bitter through your lies, “He may be tall and attractive, but as his roommate, I’ve seen his ugly side. Satoru is a complete slob and can’t even cook to save his life.”

“I don’t mind cooking for him all the time if I were to be his little housewife.”

“That’s never gonna happen,” your words came out harsher than it was, and you laugh it off with a wave of your hand when your co-workers’ eyes widened. “I’ve been living with him for six months and he’s never brought anyone home or told me he’s going on a date. I told you already, he’s a no strings attached kind of guy. He’s nothing but a one night stand.”

“You have to admit he’s still sexy though.”

Right. You hide your groan through another shot because there’s no way of convincing them otherwise. As much as you hate to admit, you’re actually jealous on how freely they could talk about him like that, but then again, it’s not like you and Satoru were dating – or would ever date, for that matter.

They start to leave one by one when it starts to get late, leaving only you who’s still desperate to avoid Satoru. Nothing prepares you for when the sky darkens and a storm comes pouring just as you’ve left the closing shop, the rain drenching and soaking your clothes through and through. Running under the nearest tree for shelter, you shiver. It’s cold – way too cold – and curse yourself for not bringing a darned umbrella.

The nearest bus stop is like what, fifteen to twenty minutes away? Your teeth are chattering and your legs are shaking, and you fumble through your phone as you dial a number you know by heart before you even realize what you’re doing. “S-Satoru?”

“Y/N,” the surprise is unmasked in his voice, something shuffling in the background before it falls silent. “Is everything okay?”

“Uhm, are you busy right now? It’s fine if you are, I’m just—”

“I’m training with Yuuji, but what is it?”

“Listen, I,” you inhale sharply when coldness bursts through your body, making you shiver and press yourself closer to tree to get away from the rain. Above you, thunder crackles before the rain grows heavier and angrier. “I forgot to bring an umbrella and I’m absolutely soaked right now. The nearest bus stop is fifteen minutes away and all the buildings here look so shady—”

“I’ll be on my way. Text me where you are,” You nod and thank him, too cold and numb to realize you’ve just broken days of silence. You lose track of time under there, hugging yourself until your lips turn blue. It doesn’t take long before Satoru shows up minutes later, his hair equally drenched and sticking flat to his eyes free from his blindfold while he pants, hand on his knees. “Thank goodness you’re safe. I rushed here so fast I forgot to bring an umbrella.”

After seeing Satoru drenched like that, something snaps within you. He doesn’t seem bothered by the fact the rain is unforgiving as it slaps the pavement, and your heart breaks when you see that he’s more concerned for you – even after you’ve given him the silent treatment. “You idiot! Now you’re soaking wet too, you’re going to get sick!”

“Highly unlikely,” he shrugs. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“But what about—” Satoru suddenly carries you before draping his coat over your head, running until he found a cab to hail. He immediately asks the driver to turn up the heater while you tremble on top of him, not caring anymore that you’re sticking so close to him for heat.

Satoru doesn’t let you go all the way inside the apartment. He sets you down on the couch where you take off your wet clothes in haste, too cold with teeth chattering that you silently take the hoodie and boxers Satoru offers you, making sure to keep his gaze averted the whole time. Once fully dressed, you snuggle back into the sofa’s comfort, stiffening when the couch dips beside you.

Not a moment later, Satoru towel-dries your hair, leaving your mouth and throat dry with guilt. Even after you’ve unnecessarily been a bitch to him, he’s still so kind with you.

“Thank you for coming.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Satoru...” you twiddle with your thumbs just as he starts to ruffle the towel in your hair, making sure to squeeze water out of the strands as he dries it. “About what happened the other day—”

“It didn’t happen if you don’t want it to,” his voice is cold’ monotonous and so emotionless you’re rendered speechless. “You can forget about it.”

“I...”

“You regret it, right?” he’s done with drying your hair, and he stands up to place the wet towels in the sink as you watch him stride all the way there. He’s changed his clothes too; looking comfortable in a plain white shirt and some grey sweatpants, looking every bit the domestic boyfriend you’ve always wanted but can never have. “It’s fine. We can forget about it and go back to normal,” to emphasize his point, Satoru winks at you, though it does nothing but make your heart sink.

“What if I don’t want to forget it?” your voice is small; hesitant and wavering with fear. “What if...the only reason I pulled away is because I wanted more of you?”

Satoru’s back freezes as he sets the towel aside. At this point, your heart is pulsing on your tongue, and you dig your nails onto your thighs when Satoru sits down next to you, right next to you. He’s silent the whole time; eyes calculatedly piercing through yours. Your breath hitches when his hands that are burning hot against your cold skin cups your jaw before his thumb runs across your lips, his eyes turning dark at your reactions.

“And what if I said I felt the same way?”

“I,” you gasp, closing your eyes because it all feels so surreal. “I like you, Satoru. I like you a lot and I—” he doesn’t let you finish. Soon, you find yourself in his lap with his hands cupping your cheeks while he smashes his lips onto yours.

Satoru is absolutely feral. He’s breathing hard and almost angry, even, with the way his teeth are biting down to nibble on your lips. You moan when he drags you closer, your clothed centre rubbing on his thigh with delicious friction. “You have no idea,” he rasps down on your lips, “how much I’ve fucking liked you ever since we were kids,” Satoru pushes his hoodie aside, revealing your sweet neck to him, and he doesn’t waste his time in sucking and abusing the poor flesh so he can mark you as his. “I’ve always wanted you, Y/N, it’s always you, always you.”

You fist his hoodie when Satoru sinks his teeth down into the juncture of your neck, his hands curious and exploring every inch of your body. He knows you’re naked underneath his clothes, but it’s a different thing when he actually feels your breasts right on his palm. Satoru tweaks the hardened bud in his fingers, growling when you moan at the contact and use his thigh to get off.

“You—” you gasp as you expose your neck to him, wild and needy as you keep rubbing your heat over his thigh. “—talk way too fucking much,” you scold, finally pushing his lips away from your neck. Satoru chuckles at your eagerness but you silence him by flinging his boxers off of your body and somewhere far away, exposing your heat slick with arousal right in front of him. His pupils blow in excitement, hands coming up to grab at your hips, but his attention is taken away when you nibble on his ear to whisper, “Shut up and fuck me.”

The simple command is enough to make his patience snap. In a flash, you’re pinned underneath him, whining and moaning when his finger meets no resistance as he slips it inside. “You’re that needy, huh?” he laughs even louder when you lose it, humping yourself on his finger because it’s not enough.

“Satoru,” you beg, clutching his bicep when he adds another finger in. “More.”

His fingers are so long, hitting places that your small ones could never reach. He begins to scissor his way in, his fingers deliciously rubbing against your velvety walls while pumping them inside and out in a speed that causes you to squelch around him.

It’s absolutely lewd how you’re eagerly spread out before him, but your head is clouded with lust, no longer hindered by shyness out of your need to cum. Your chest is rising heavily, his thumb now rubbing against your clit as he coaxes you to cum. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he kisses your cheeks, eyelids, nose, anywhere but your lips, his voice so gentle and innocent as if he’s not knuckle deep inside you. “Tell me how you want me.”

“Inside,” you whine, gasping when he brushes against a really sensitive spot that has you clamping down on him. “‘Toru, fuck, just fuck me.”

“Beg for it,” he smiles against your skin, relentless and harsh as he keeps pushing inside you. You feel him everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Another finger adds in until you’re dripping enough on his palm and staining the couch, but neither of you care. “I said, beg for it.”

“No,” you hold back, nearly crying out when he pulls your fingers out of you. That sudden emptiness is back again, but you don’t want to beg. You’ve never begged another man before, and this won’t be the first time you’ll be doing so either. You refuse to let him have the upper hand despite the crystal clear fact you’re already soaking wet for him, but because you’re stubborn, you only fumble with his sweatpants to spring his cock free.

He’s already dripping with pre-cum from the slit, his cock hard and angry. Despite his arousal, Satoru stops you from going further, using only one hand to trap both your wrists. “Beg for it,” he demands again, his other fist already pumping down on his shaft.

You nearly cry at the sight. Both of you are aware that Satoru is capable of pleasuring himself, but it’s not that easy for you. Your small, dainty fingers will never be parallel to the pleasure his long cock could give you. All you had to do was beg for it. He’s right there, within reach, if only you’d just –

Impatient for your answer, Satoru takes you by the hips and discards your hoodie in the process, sinking you down his cock, inch by delicious inch. You don’t hold back from the sensual and high-pitched moan that leaves your lips. He’s long, and the tip of his cock just about brushes your cervix when he bottoms out. He feels so good, so warm and huge and filling you up right where you want him to be. Your head falls down on his shoulder as you begin to roll your hips, but Satoru has had enough.

“Fuck, look at you,” he presses on the bulge of his cock visible through your abdomen. “You’re so fucking small – how do you take me so well? I could ruin you. Do you want that? Do you want me to ruin you?”

“Yes, yes, fuck.”

“You think you can just leave me hanging like that, huh?” he slaps your ass, eliciting another moan from you and making you clench around his cock. Satoru falters for a moment. Before you can react, he stands up, your legs wrapped around his waist with nothing but his tip hitting inside you. “You’ve been so fucking mean – leaving me wanting you like that and ignoring me for days. Do you think you deserve this, huh?” Satoru kicks his door open at the same time he loosens his hold around your ass, making you slide down his length the next second.

“Oh, fuck,” you cry out just as Satoru begins to bounce you, your breasts following the motion of him fucking deep into you. “Fuck, Toru, that’s too—”

He’s so eager to fuck you, to make a mess out of you and have you losing your mind over his cock that he doesn’t even wait until you’re both on the bed. You no longer register when your back hits the pillow, or how your arms are frozen when he pins it above your head.

“You’re so beautiful,” he praises as he watches you clench around him. You’re so small and his eyes zero in on the way your abdomen bulges then flattens again every time he pounds into you, rolling his hips in a way that has you screaming and thighs quaking. “Beautiful, beautiful, perfect,” the moment his hands grip at your hips to pin you down, you know he’s not going to stop. And you don’t want him to.

Satoru latches his lips around your right breast, gently grazing his teeth over it while his other hand pinches and rolls the pebbled nipple between his fingers. He feels so good – and you’re crying already by the time you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer.

The room is filled with the smell of sex, the sound of skin slapping against skin combined with his breathy grunts and your moans like heaven on his ears. Satoru wants you to feel how much he loves you – how much he adores you – and the pace he sets is torturous. He snaps his hips against yours and presses down on the bulge of his cock through your belly, chuckling when you tighten more around him.

Your head lols to the side, tears falling down your pretty face because of how rough he’s being. But you don’t complain, not when he’s filling you in so deep and he’s kissing you everywhere, touching you everywhere, making you feel nothing else and nobody else but him.

“You’re amazing,” he rasps, watching the way your tight cunt sucks him in greedily as if you don’t want him to go anywhere else. “You take me in so well – you really want me to destroy you, huh?”

“Satoru, please,” you finally plead, “I-I’m cumming, I want you, I need you, oh,” you squeal when he finally lets your arms free. You look so precious, so innocent, and he doesn’t let up his pace. He plants his feet into the ground and his strokes begin to grow sloppy, your tight walls encouraging him to go faster, go deeper.

If possible, Satoru is only even more fuelled with the way you look so precious and innocent in that moment. His touch is gentle in comparison to the way he’s mercilessly plowing into you, using his thumb to wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks. He knows he’s too big for you, that much is obvious from how much you’re already overstimulated just by his size, but your nails sink down on the flesh of his ass as a silent plead for more.

“Fuuuuck, I’m so close!”

“Yeah?” He fondled your clit, loving the sight of your small body creaming down on his cock. “Come for me, sweet girl. I want to feel you coming on my cock. Come on, tell me you’re mine. You’re made me for aren’t you?”

“Yes, Satoru, fuck,” you squeal, throwing your head back for a second when he keeps hitting your g-spot that has you seeing stars. Your toes curl and your hands fist the sheets behind you as he keeps impaling you with his cock right then and there.

You looked perfect; so perfect to him that he’s basically using you for his own pleasure at this moment. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, back arching and nipples brushing against his chest.

In that moment, you grow needy to have him even closer, tilting up to blindly search for his lips. Satoru complies; leaning down and leaving open mouthed breathy kisses that’s a mix of you moaning and crying around him, while he struggles to do so when he’s cursing at the feeling of you coating his cock with your juices. Satoru looks down at your tiny frame trapped in his arms, his voice husky as he groans once he saw both of your arousal absolutely leaking out of your wet cunt.

He’s so close but you’re already over the edge, scratching at his back at the overstimulation. You’re still so sensitive from when you came and Satoru doesn’t slow one down one bit. He loses his rhythm as his thrusts go sloppy, and Satoru buries his face in your neck as his cock twitches inside you until he bursts with his cum leaking out of your hole.

Satoru’s arms give out beneath you, his chest colliding with yours but not enough that he’s crushing you with his weight. You’re both breathing hard and panting, his dick softening inside you.

He pulls back a moment later to slide out his sensitive cock, wincing while he watches pools of cum gather in your pussy before it drips out. It isn’t until he’s witnessing the mess he’s made he realizes how you’ve been so good for him; taking him all the way in despite your quivering frame. It dawns on him now just how tiny you are when he pulls you close to him; you’re practically hanging off his chest with how small your body is.

He wonders how you’re able to fit all of him, but he’s grateful nevertheless. Satoru shows his appreciation by peppering kisses all over your face, his hand snaking down to caress your inner thighs.

“Hmm,” you moan into the kiss, jolting when his knuckles brush against your sensitive clit. “Satoru, no,” you whine while pushing his hand away, and he shushes you with another kiss. “’M too sensitive, please...”

“It’s fine, cupcake, it’s fine,” his nickname for you is back again, and you lean closer to him just as he begins to massage your sore legs. “You did so well for me, cupcake, you know that? You’re such a good girl for me,” too fucked out to have a comprehensive answer, you only nod in response, spreading your legs open again and ignoring the warm stickiness between your thighs as Satoru kneads your abused flesh. You feel him kiss your temple before he leaves to get a towel and cleans you up. Meanwhile, you’re so tired you’re about to doze out in his bed.

“Hey,” he soothes, bundling you up in his arms until you’re tucked in the safety of his body. So small, he coos inside his head, watching as you fold yourself even smaller while your eyes flutter. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you sigh into his shoulder, “I feel good. Thank you.”

Satoru doesn’t really know what you’re thanking him for. He feels like he’s the one who’s mostly indebted to you after everything you’ve done for him. You’ve already fallen asleep before he gets the chance to tell you how he feels, so Satoru only covers you both under his blanket, making sure there’s no more space between you out of fear you’ll distance yourself from him again.

But he doesn’t have to worry about that because you’re right next to him, and you’re never out of reach.

[dontworrysunflower]

Merry Fucking Christmas | h.s.

a/n: i’m baaaaccckk!! lol idk it took me a while to finish this and i was gonna have it finished before christmas but then i was exposed to covid so i was little paranoid but anyway (i’m good tho). merry christmas and happy holidays!! i know this years been hard but hopefully we can make it a little better :)

warnings: drinking, angst?? idk not proof read word vomit, some language too

word count: 3.1k

also thank you @watchmegetobsessed !!

feedback/reblogs appreciated

You knew the holidays this year were going to be difficult. You procrastinated on getting gifts for your friends. Your work seemed to pile up on your desk since you got your promotion. You weren’t able to fly back home, and you still had some thanksgiving weight you weren’t able to put off.

Oh yeah, another thing. Harry was still with his girlfriend.

You met Katy, Harry’s girlfriend, at his birthday party in February. She was the epitome of ‘his type’. She had bleach blonde extensions and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. She was tall and really, really loud.

Since then, she’s all he ever talked about when they weren’t together, but when they were in the same room, boy did you want to gag.

You thought they would last maybe three to four months, you were so sure, you bet with some of your other friends.

Needless to say, you lost quite a lot of money.

You tried not to let it bother you, really. But it was so hard when Harry is the literal sweetest person you’ve met, had the voice of an angel and wasn’t bad to look at.

You felt you were the closest with Harry when you moved to London. He made you feel welcome in your little friends group. There was a little flirting game between the two of you that you didn’t even notice until one of your friends brought it up.

“Oh c’mon, it’s so obvious you like each other.” Margot slurred, her second glass clinking against the table as she finished every drop.

“What?” You asked, baffled. Your eyes were wide and your face started to heat up. “He doesn’t like me.”

“But you like him?” Ava, a friend from work, smirked at you.

You stumbled on your words, wiping at the condensation on your glass.

But since he was in a relationship now, you felt almost icky around him. You felt so uncomfortable around him that you did whatever you could to not be in the same room as him.

You were ready for the holidays, you thought. It would give you a break from constantly thinking about him being so busy with your family back in your hometown.

You should’ve known London weather wouldn’t be in your favor. It rained constantly everyday and the fog seemed to get closer to the ground every other day. The weather was getting so bad that you started working from home, the roads too wet and icy to drive on. So honestly, you weren’t that surprised when airports closed due to the weather, meaning you had to spend Christmas in London.

With Harry.

The day after flights were cancelled Harry texted on your group chat saying he could host a dinner and party on Christmas eve and everyone was invited. You watched texts from your other friends flood in, some excited vulgar words were thrown in there as well.

You never responded. Not only because you still felt weird around him for having this massive crush on him, but because things haven’t really been the same between you two.

You can’t remember the last time you had a full on conversation with him before you had to excuse yourself because you couldn’t take the ache in your chest when you were around him, and he wasn’t yours. You can’t remember the last joke he ever told you or when you went out for lunch or drinks when it was only the two of you. You were sure he noticed how weird you were around him, but never said anything, so you let it be.

As the day neared, your mind would change on whether you were going or not. You didn’t want to seem bitchy and cold on what was supposed to be the happiest and cheerful day of the year, so you thought you would go. You thought of every reason you shouldn’t go that had nothing to do with Harry, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him cozy up with his very serious girlfriend.

But there would be alcohol, so you decided to go.

•••

Hey (y/n)! Think you come over early and help me set up for tomorrow? H xx

You stared at the text for what seemed like hours, but it was only a couple seconds. Before you could even register what your fingers were doing, you tied up a quick message and hit send before you could stop yourself.

Of course!! See you tomorrow!

You hated yourself for the rest of the day. Why would you do this to yourself? You could barely be in the same room as him and some other friends. How would you survive being alone before the party started?

•••

The butterflies in your stomach have not been able to settle since you woke up Christmas Eve morning. Just the thought of seeing him made you nervous. You almost didn’t get out of bed that morning. But you pat yourself on the back when your feet finally hit your wooden flooring and moved on with your day.

Your shoulders hung low beside you as the time to meet up grew closer, the sun lowering behind you, Christmas lights and inflatable decorations coming to life as stars dotted the sky.

You sighed heavily as you styled your hair and naturally did your makeup.

You slid on your silky, tight dress and grabbed your coat and quickly made your way to your car to get away from the bitter cold.

You rubbed your hands together, blowing into them to regain some feeling before turning the key into the ignition, quickly turning the heater on, Mariah Carey blasting through your speakers.

You were about to pull out of your driveway, mumbling along to Mariah’s notes when you realized you forgot the gifts.

•••

Your shoulders were hunched up as you knocked on the white door, your foot tapping against the brick stairs of Harry’s house as you waited for him to open it in the freezing cold.

You could hear shuffling from the other side and watched the doorknob wiggle, Harry having trouble with his lock since June and still hasn’t had anyone fix it.

The door swings open to reveal Harry in his glory, brown corduroy pants and an ugly Christmas sweater under an apron that’s tied around his slender waist that you’ve always been jealous of.

“Hey, sorry, come on in.” Harry said to you before moving out of the way, a bowl nestled between his side and his arm.

You mumbled a quiet thank you before stepping in, your cheeks reddening at the warmth enveloping you as you walked through the foyer of his home.

“Mm,” he hummed as he remembered something. He puts down the bowl he had on his white kitchen counter and waddles over to you, a small curve on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you. “Merry Christmas, love.”

You hate that nickname. But you don’t. You hate the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when he says that word. You hate the goosebumps it causes you and the hairs sticking up on your neck when he says the one thing you feel too harshly for him. And you hate how much he doesn’t feel it back.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” You mumbled into his neck, his cologne flooding your senses bringing you comfort.

He doesn’t let go of you yet, but he backs up just a little to see you. “You look gorgeous, (y/n).”

The air gets stuck in your lungs and you almost forgot how to formulate words. You hoped Harry thought the pigment on your cheeks would be from the cold because it totally was. Before it was obvious how his words affected you, you stuttered out a few words. “Thank you, you look nice too.”

He chuckled at you, the breath passing his lips hitting your neck, a tingle passing through your spine. “You don’t have to lie, darling.” He squeezed you one last time before letting you go, your body instantly becoming colder as he backed away.

There's a low hum of Christmas music playing in his surround sound system, a tall tree tucked in a corner between his burning fireplace and window looking out onto the street.

You turn your attention back to Harry as he speaks up again, his famous dimples puncturing his cheeks. “Thanks fo’ comin’ early to help me out.”

You rolled your coat off your shoulders and hung by the door, walking up to him as he moved around the kitchen. “Oh yeah, it’s no problem. Not like I had anything else to do.”

He gave you a small sympathetic smile before throwing a tray full of greens into the oven. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go see your family.”

You shrug as you run your finger on the edge of his marble counter. “It’s alright, nothing I can do much anyway.” You perk up when you remember what you’re doing here so early in the first place. “Guess that’s why I’m here, no? What can I help you with?” Your heels click as you move around the counter closer to him.

“Nope.” His lips puckered as he pushed you back to where you were standing. “Just stand there and talk to me. Wine?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you blindly nod, watching him uncork a bottle of Moscato. Your favorite.

He hands you a glass of the sparkling wine before turning back around to the dishes, prepping food of all kinds for everyone and most importantly; eggnog.

“But, you said you needed my help.”

He chuckled nervously, his cheeks reddening. From your comment or from the wine? You weren’t going to get your hopes up. “I just need some company before the party. Just stand there and look pretty.”

You try your hardest ignore the blush on your cheeks. You twirl the wine glass from the neck, watching the liquid swirl around in the depths of the glass. “What about Katy?”

He sighs deeply, opening the oven to check on the food. “We’ve been kind of fighting lately.”

You did your best to stop the grin from forming on your lips, hoping he did notice your sudden burst at the new information. They are still together, so you can’t act on anything. “I’m sorry. Can I ask what’s going on?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know really. Anything and everything. Every little thing I do annoys her and anything she does annoys me. It just wasn’t the same.”

“Is she coming?” You ask before you can think about it.

He shrugs again, shoulders hanging more than usual. “I don’t think so. She said she was staying home since she can‘t fly back to her family either.”

A silence hangs between the two of you when neither of you said anything, not really sure of what needs to be said next.

“I don’t think I feel the same way for her as I did in the beginning.” Harry mumbled, arms crossed over his chest as his hip leaning against the counter, his usually bright eyes a little darker, a little sadder.

You walk up to him and lay your hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “It’s not my business but, if you really feel that way, you shouldn’t lead her on, it’ll only hurt both of you.”

Harry looks down at the floor as he nods. “Thanks, love.”

There’s a wave of silence between you again as he raises his head to look at you. You almost felt small under his gaze. Something about his crystal green eyes always made you nervous. You were scared he could see what you were really thinking.

And you also swear his eyes fell to your lips.

•••

The dinner party was in full swing now, people’s laughter bleeding in with the loud Christmas music playing around the house. Some people were dancing in front of the fireplace, drinks being refilled every once in a while.

You were standing by the counter with your friends, Margot and Ava, chatting and drinking your eggnog instead of the wine you had before the party started. You had completely forgotten about the wonderful man hosting this party, the conversation you had earlier with him slipping your mind as the drink in your hand lowered to the bottom of the glass, intoxicating your thoughts.

Even though you offered to help, Harry didn’t let you help with the rest of dinner before everyone came over, so now the food still wasn’t ready as people flooded in. You heard him say something about potatoes and that was as much as you knew of the food preparation and when you would be able to eat.

The music is lowered a bit and then a clicking sound was heard, everyone turning their heads towards Harry, who clinked a fork against his glass. “Dinner is ready!”

Everyone cheered and started making their way towards the dining room. Most people had already filtered towards the next room when a knock on the front door was heard.

You turned your head as Harry twisted the knob. You were sure Harry's face mimicked yours when you saw who was standing at the doorway.

There stood Katy, hair newly bleached and a little overdressed.

She wasted no time in wrapping her arms around him, her plump lips repeatedly marking his face with the bright lipstick.

“Oh god,” you waltzed over towards Ava, who was pouring herself a new glass of eggnog. “pass me the eggnog, I can’t stand this sober.” You pushed her over slightly and grabbed the handle of the ladle she was using, filling up your cup almost to the brim.

Ava looked at you in curiosity at your sudden change, carefully looking over at the lovely couple still by the door. “Wait, I thought you told me they were fighting.” She whispered beside you, eyes widening as she watched you gulp down some of the eggnog you just served yourself to give yourself some more.

“Guess fucking not.” You were much less sober now, on the brink of tipsy and drunk. Your words slurred, eyelids heavy, vision blurry. “Let’s go fucking eat.” You dragged Ava by the wrist towards the commotion in the dining room, almost, but not quite forgetting about the couple behind you.

•••

You’ve had four glasses of eggnog. Or was it five? But now, you stand in front of the bowl, pouring some into your glass again, making it six.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” You hear his sultry voice behind you, his tone a little sassy and annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You slurred, turning around to face him. His pink lips were turned down in a frown, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, his buff arms that were constricted in his sweater cross in front of his chest. “Gonna go kiss your girlfriend some more?” You stumbled on your feet, your drink almost spilling over the rim.

“What does that have to do with anything?” His face changed from annoyance to confusion. His thumb twisting the ring on his other finger nervously.

You open your mouth to retaliate, but even in this drunk state you knew not to say anything. You chug the creamy drink, keeping eye contact with him, watching his face change again. You didn’t care.

He obviously didn’t care either.

You sighed dramatically as you finished the drink. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

•••

You had sobered up quite a bit after your little encounter with Harry, mainly because there was no eggnog left.

You realized it was for the better though, so you made your way back into the kitchen, doing your best to not stumble or bump against anything as you grabbed an empty cup to fill with water.

“I am really sorry.” You knew his voice anywhere. But it wasn’t his usual chirpy, charming voice he had that always soothed you, it sounded more sad and somber.

“On Christmas? Out of any day you chose today?” Katy sniffled, voice wobbly and hurt.

“I know but, you know we can’t go on any longer, we’ll just hurt each other more.”

“I think I'm going to head out.”

You don’t hear Harry say anything back, but the sound of the door clicking open catches your attention and you almost turn around to watch.

“I just have one question.” Katy said weakly.

You walked away before you could hear anything else.

•••

Even though you were still a little upset at Harry (For what? You weren’t sure anymore), you stayed behind as everyone left to help him clean up before you head home.

You were putting things back in his refrigerator when you heard the front door close, the light chatter and drunken goodbyes silenced by the wooden door.

You kept your back towards the door, suddenly nervous of the words that would be spoken between the two of you.

“(y/n), can we talk?” Harry’s voice was low and sultry, your knees almost gave out.

“I should um-I should get going. It’s late.” You hurry around him to grab your things and for the door, but he holds your wrist.

“Please?” He sounded desperate, and for the first time in what felt like days you looked up into his emerald eyes. There was that desperate look in his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down into a frown.

You sigh and nod slowly.

He lets go of your wrist and stuffed his hands in his back pockets, his pink cheeks either from the cold or from nervousness.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to get mad and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Is that it?

You weren’t going to lie, you thought he would profess his love to you or something.

“I um- I also,” he swallows and takes your hand, his rings cold to the touch. “I broke up with Katy.”

Your mouth opened for words to come out but nothing ever left your lips.

“Do you want to know the real reason why Katy and I were fighting?”

You’re still speechless, scared of the answer, even though you have an idea of what he'll say.

“I’ve always liked you, (y/n).” His shoulders rise in a deep breath. “I guess, I don’t know, I thought if I started seeing someone else it would it easier but, not being with you this past year has been hell and I know I haven’t made it any easier with being with Katy but—”

Your lips crash on his, your arms wrapping his neck, your fingers immediately tangling in his brown locks.

He stumbles back in shock but grabs at your hips, bringing you closer to his chest.

His pink lips press against yours, the corners slowly turning up into a smile, breaking your kiss.

“Merry fucking Christmas to me.”

•••

Taglist:

@samaratheweirdo @sarcasticallywitty15

(Let me know if you would like to be added or taken off taglist.)

[gabzlovesu]

VALENTINE'S DAY STORYTIME:

here’s what happened...

we celebrated valentine's day on saturday because i wasn't sure what my schedule for monday was gonna look like — nursing school doesn't stop for nobody yall and i can't afford to get behind. i had to study for an exam on sunday and the restaurant wasn't gonna be open that day, so we settled for the latest reservation we could get at char on saturday, which was 12:00.

ok say boom, friday night i washed my hair and prepped it for my wig and stuff, but ya girl was in distress because i didn't finish until like 1 or 2 in the morning and my hair was still a little damp. so i'm like, i'll just get up in the morning to put it on.

saturday morning i get up at 8 and to lay my wig — almost burning myself in the process — and do my makeup. and look...i'm no pro but i did wtf i had to do! i was on crunch time with only 3 hours to get ready and i mf did that! i literally did not get dressed up until the last minute and i was scared that we weren't going to make our brunch reservation. here's my otufit ig, i literally don't know how to take pictures so don't say nothing:

i tell him to pull up to my dorm because i'm getting dressed and it will only take a few minutes to get myself together and the resturant was just down the street. AS SOON AS I GET DRESSED I REALIZE I DON'T HAVE MY WINTER COAT! but being the bad bitch that i am i was just gonna suck it up and go out in the 30 degree weather and just grab my coat from the car. that would be fine right? NOPE! i fucking forgot that my sister took the car to work that morning so i wouldn't be able to get my jacket. when my bf pulled up i literally sprinted to the car with his gift in my arms looking like a skank 😭 but yall would do it too for a check!

we made it in time, we get our table with no wait at all. cool. and i just know people are staring at me for being dressed like this when its freezing outside, idgaf tho and they need to worry about they food. we had the stupid chocolate milk debate at the table lmaooooo. anyways, i got the shrimp and grits and he got the chicken and biscuits (ya know some real southern shit purrr). now exaplain to me why my shit was expensive and i got like a cup of grits and 5 pieces of shrimp and this man had hella food for less. i was cheated yall, but he did share some of his food with me hehe 🥰 we got desert also, which was alright but the options were limited and i'm a picky eater lol. here's my food:

he takes me back to my place so i can change into some comfy clothes and clean up my room before i go to his apartment. and we made a quick stop by walgreens on the way to his place.... iykyk.

so we walk up the stairs and he like pauses before he opens the door, and i'm just like, you good bro?? BUT IT TURNS OUT HE HAD ROSE PETALS LEADING TO HIS ROOM WHERE THEY WERE ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND ON THE BED IN A HEART SHAPE WITH CHOCOLATES AND A BIG SQUISHMALLOW!!! he knows i loves squishmallows, they're so cutee aaghhhhh. he also said that he will take me to get a mani pedi wenever i want; he didn't want to make an appointment in advance because he knows nursing school has my schedule all fucked up. then he opened my gift which was a basket full of candy, a card, the new pokemon game that he wanted so bad, and a nike gift card.

and ummm this is the nsfw part so go away if your not 18+ or you don't want to read it. so we started making out and shit and my clothes just disappeared like idk what happened yall 🤷🏽‍♀️ he at my coochie, as he should, and then broke my back while folding me in half like a lawn chair. there were some slipups, like a rose petal got stuck in my butt crack and i didn't even know lmfao, and i said "you gonna fuck me like a slut?" and he didn't respond how i wanted him too and i was embarazzed (he's so vanilla yall, we're working on that tho). then this man said — and i quote— "squirt all over my dick" EXCUSE ME??!!! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT BECAUSE I AINT NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE OMGGGGG...but i did it tho sskksks.

when we were finish we really just laid around and had a chill day after that, we don't have to be doing much to enjoy each other's company. i watched him play the pokemon game for a little bit before watching tiktoks on my phone. eventually he fell asleep (that coochie knocked him out 😮‍💨) i was fighting off sleep but i stayed up to study a little for my exam. we eventually went on a food run with his friends that night an then went to sleep. i did unfortunately loose my BRAND FREAKING NEW set of lashes that i had put on that day :(

BUT I LOVED OUR VALENTINE'S DAY AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY BYEEEE!

[whenwordsmakesense]

Another first sentence + 5 sentence fic, "I hate it when you're being a martyr!!?"

Lol, next time just send me a sentence. I don't think I'll ever be doing "only" +5 sentences xD

Okay, okay, so this isn't from my *THE* time-travel fic, but the thing is... I just love the idea of a bamf!sterek that go back in time and don't tell anyone about the truth and then comes this CONFRONTATION and everyone else is confused/in awe.

Quick rundown of dynamics, just because: Alpha Talia Hale. Human/Alpha Mate Nathaniel Hale. Betas Peter Hale, Laura Hale, Cora Hale, Claudia Stilinski. Human Noah John Stilinski. Alpha Derek Hale (but he presents as a beta to everyone except Stiles). Human Stiles Stilinski (but he is actually a spark, the strongest there is).

Idk their ages, but you can imagine Stiles as a 15/16 year old teen (he's mentally older, of course, think like... hmm... let's say he came back in time at age 21. So he should be 30, mentally). That makes Derek 21/22 (mentally 36).

Okay, enough rambling, now let's get down to the fic!! I'll be writing this from Laura's POV. Also, tell me if I should post this one on AO3? Now it's on AO3!

The Moon's Come Out

"I hate it when you're being a martyr."

Stiles' voice is a soft whisper underneath the chaos of blood and death, but it's not quite enough to drown under. It's a resigned exhale of breath, a truth so absolute that it's no longer just a truth. It's a fact.

Laura Hale wonders when her baby brother aligned himself to such a fact. She wonders lots of things about her baby brother.

She remembers the day when it all changed. When Derek changed. It was subtle, but it was prominent.

She remembers when she'd helped Derek with his flirting skills. Paige, she remembers; the same Paige who had once held Derek's eyes had been rendered into nothing that day. No, not nothing—something else. Something deeper. Something like grief.

But why would Derek grieve someone living? It's a mystery, but more than that it's an act shared between Derek and Stiles—like they're barely tethered to the world, and every moment with anyone but each other is like a gift and a curse, all in one.

But this isn't the time to think about it, how it feels like she's lost Derek once.

It's time to save him.

"Mom," her voice is a barely there sound, but her mom, her Alpha, she's here.

And she's silently crying.

"Mom, we need to- need to help him,"

Her mom is nodding her head, and they're moving between the bloody bodies—hunters, who'd come to kill them, only to die by Stiles'... everything.

Laura feels she can save him.

"Stop." Stiles' voice is still a whisper, but it's an order. A command.

Her mom—Alpha Talia Hale—stops in her tracks, and Laura, with her injured leg has to stop with her.

Dad is shouting at Cora to stay back, and John is trying to free Claudia and Peter from their confines, and Laura can hear all that. But right now, her world boils to where Derek is. On the ground, only a few feet away but so, so far away, spitting blood out of his mouth as his healing tries to kick in where the bullets are lodged on his body.

Bullets. Because Derek had jumped in front of the hunters when they started shooting at Peter and Claudia. And they're all wolfsbane laced.

Laura opens her mouth to protest, to shout, but Stiles doesn't let her.

He's always stopped her from talking.

She hates Stiles.

He's taken Derek away from her. From the pack.

"I can deal with this, you don't have to worry,"

"You can't order me around." Laura's eyes flash at her Alpha's tone, and she bares her neck.

Stiles' jaw sets with a determined look. "Oh, yeah? You really think so, Talia?" Laura watches him as he speaks, words fast paced and laced with worry and fear and anger. It's an ensemble of emotions, but even Laura has to admit that there's always been something special about this kid. His hands work as he talks.

"I mean, maybe you do. You Hales always think you know the best, don't you? It's like you think nobody else has any brains but you. Well, except Peter. That fucker is just too clever for his own good and he knows it. But he at least knows not to underestimate others. That's more than I can say for you, Talia. Or Laura. You two are so similar, you know?"

Laura does. She does know. And she is proud of that fact. But Stiles says it like a curse, like being so similar to her own mother—her Alpha—is nothing short of the worst thing.

Laura wonders why. She wonders a lot when it comes to Stiles.

"Stiles," everyone stops at that voice, as if freezing in place would freeze time itself.

Laura has been tortured, she's seen more blood than she needs to today, and she'd cried herself hoarse when they'd started to torture her previously unconscious mom. And then she'd wanted to die when the hunters turned their guns toward Cora, Claudia and Peter. So much so that she'd barely noticed Derek somehow escaping from his own personal confinement, the shackles he was in, all of it covered in wolfsbane. Neither had she witnessed Stiles breaking the literal cage the humans of their pack had been put in. But the thing that truly, truly scares her isn't any of those things. No.

It's losing Derek. Her baby brother (he used to hate it when she called him that, but when he changed, that hate turned into a grieving sort of fondness, like this was something he'd missed), who feels more like an adult than she is, her Derek. She can't lose him. She just can't.

It would break her. It would break the pack. Derek has always been the heart of it, the sweet little kid who is adored by his sisters and trusted by his parents; the man who even Peter respects, and Claudia cherishes like her own son, and John who calls him a good man.

It's no surprise they all just stop when Derek speaks for the first time since he was shot. And oh, was it only minutes ago? It feels like hours.

"Finally coherent, huh?" Stiles asks Derek, like Derek speaking right now is no big deal. Like it's that easy to try and repel the poison of wolfsbane.

"Shut up," Derek coughs out, voice throaty and weak.

"Derek," someone calls out. It's choked with tears, and it's a female, and it's her voice. "Derek! Please don't die,"

Derek tries to move his head, but falls back on the ground with a thump. Stiles swats at him, and Laura only now notices that Stiles' hands are covered in blood, one anchored on Derek's chest while the other digs around one of the holes. There's a host of bullets lying on the other side; Stiles throws another bullet there.

Perhaps everyone notices the same thing just then, because everyone makes a noise, a wail of pain and disgust and fear, all of it mixed in one sound.

Her mom has lost all her fight in herself, and Laura deflates, too. Stiles seems to know what he's doing.

And he doesn't seem to care what he sounds like.

"No, shut up? Me? Shut up? I swear to the fucking moon, you asshole, if you die on me I'll follow you. I'll fucking follow you there, because nothing is left for me here, okay, and I know you know that. You know this. How could you even do this to me? I told you to wait for my signal! I never would have let them get hurt, Derek! No, no, shut up! You keep your words to yourself and you listen, you goddamn martyr, you listen.

You made me a promise. When we came back, you promised me we'd be together. Always. We'll fix things, then we'll live, and then we'll die. Together. But you-you broke that promise, Der. You did tha-that,"

Laura is missing something. They all are.

Stiles' voice is a steady stream, a flow broken only by the cracks in his voice and the anger in it. And then it's a whisper, the height of his voice toppled down by his sorrow.

Derek smiles softly, as if Stiles worrying himself to death about him is not a new thing. Like Derek almost dies on a constant basis, and this is a routine they have—Stiles worries, Stiles shouts, and then Derek smiles because he's still here. He isn't gone yet.

Laura watches as Derek puts his weight on his elbows, brings his face close to Stiles'. Nobody interrupts them, still frozen in time, still processing what they just went through. Stiles shuts his eyes.

"I am here. I am here, Stiles," Derek tells Stiles, and Stiles takes a shaky breath, and it hangs there, that breath—the worry, the anger, the pain, everything—between them, before Derek lunges forward and presses his lips against Stiles'.

There are a few sharp breaths, and a hysterical giggle from Claudia. "I told you," she says, and Laura thinks she's saying it to John.

Laura isn't exactly surprised. She's caught them kissing multiple times, and she's always wanted to tattle on them. And she would have, because this is wrong—Stiles is a teenager and Derek is an adult—but Stiles is clever and somehow always a few steps ahead of her. He knows all of her secrets, and she'd rather he didn't but that's not the life she has. No, the life she has is—

—clearer in hindsight. She thinks back on those kisses, shared in the early mornings or late nights, between whispered words that Laura couldn't make out and with a desperation that went beyond the desperation of wanting a good time.

And she looks now, looks at the way Stiles' breaths are shaky and labored, but his hands are steady, even as he brings flames appear out of nowhere and presses it against Derek's bullet wounds. She looks at the way Derek has his forehead pressed against Stiles', and how he moves his head to Stiles' neck at the precise moments that the fire touches his skin. Like he's done this before, knows how to keep his pain between him and Stiles. She looks at the way Stiles' other hand, still bloody, tangles in Derek's hair, comforts him, like he's the only comfort Derek needs in this world.

She looks at the way Derek's body heals, like even his body is used to being hurt like this.

"It all makes sense," Peter's voice brings her out of her thoughts, and she turns to look at him. He's vibrating with excitement. "The way they talk—the way they behave—it all makes sense!"

Laura doesn't want to know. She doesn't want to know how this much blood and death and crying and confusion could ever make sense.

But if knowing is the answer to ease the burden on Stiles' and Derek's shoulders, she'll take it. She will know.

[jimlingss]

AHHHHH YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN!!

Gosh this might be my favorite one so far, I’m on the edge of my seat 😭😭 What happens next? Are they gonna soften up to each other a bit more now? Is OC gonna act super awkward or have a change of heart? Is Yoongi gonna tease her mercilessly or will they try to pretend it never happened ?!?! Obviously you don’t have to answer all that but omg what a cliffhanger. Honestly just shows how great you are at bundling so much emotion and plot into so few words. Great job as always!!! I really loved it ❤️

hahahahahahaha I’m glad you like it as much as I do. honestly I didn’t know the drabble would turn out so well until I was actually in the process of writing it. By the time I was done, I was like damn this shit sLAMS (hence the extensive word count, I just couldn’t stop lol) but I had no clue prior when I was just jotting down the idea.

and honestly, I kind of do have a bit of a vision for what would happen next post-drabble. depending on the drabble, sometimes I have more in mind and for this one I do :> I don’t know if I can answer all your questions, but I’ll happily indulge you...

(I hope you’re prepared for my incoherent rambling).

Yoongi’s all like “good morning” and she just mutters incoherently back, taking the advil and stumbling to the bathroom. She’s mortified. Embarrassed. Ashamed. While Yoongi is all casual and nonchalant. But there’s an amused spark in his eye and he’s in a constant state of I’m-repressing-my-smile/smirk. Our OC here just wants the world to swallow her whole and she’s highkey hoping she slips on a puddle of water near the shower and slams her head on the tiles and just gets knocked into a coma to avoid all of this. 

Anyway, when she gets out and she’s all better, cleaned up, etc. she’s surprised to see Yoongi still sitting on the couch just scrolling through his phone. They remain silent. And for the first time in a looong time, it’s just quiet between the two of them. No jabs. No fighting. No comments. Then he’s all like “wanna grab breakfast? I’m heading down” and she’s like “yeah sure ok whatever.”

At the breakfast buffet is when the real shit hits the fan. They grab their plates and sit across from each other and Yoongi’s not a confrontational guy but when it comes to his wife, every rule about him ceases to exist. so he goes in for the kill. “so you miss the sex, huh?” and she sputters, spits, chokes on her overcooked eggs. “what?” but he repeats himself (“you want me to spit on you.”) while chewing food in his cheek, not even blinking, not even batting a lash. She tries to pretend that she has no idea what he’s talking about. Playing dumb isn’t hard. Pretending she doesn’t remember anything after drinking so much is even easier. But he knows. And Yoongi’s not gonna let this go.

So she decides to switch tactics and goes for the “you’re really going to take a drunk person’s words seriously? I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was saying.” but he bites back with the whole “drunk words are sober thoughts” and ofc she has nothing to say to that or any method of deflection so she just calls him a stupid idiot. and he’s all like “apparently a stupid idiot that you still love.” and that’s K.O. for her. 

She has no words so she stands up and stomps off and Yoongi rolls his eyes but chases after her and is asking her where she’s going and she’s like “I don’t know, away from you!” and she continues to insist she didn’t mean anything by what she said last night and that it was just a projection because she’s lonely here and that’s she’s been lonely. and that just upsets and angers Yoongi. 

Long story short, the heated moment and argument (that’s somehow unlike their other arguments - less insults and more softened words/touches), they end up back at their hotel room and have hate sex. lol. where Yoongi’s all like “why can’t you fucking be honest for once in your life?”, “why does it take you being completely wasted for you to tell me what you actually want?!” and it keeps escalating as she insists everything was lies and he spits in her mouth, idk, they just go hard (literally asdfghjkl) until they’re both coming and she finally scream-cries that she does love him. and as he’s on top of her, sweating, heaving, calming down, he’s about to smirk and be like “took you long enough” but before he can get the words out, he freezes. because our OC is quietly sobbing and he looks down at her like ???? and she asks him why he can’t be honest at all.

Then the hate sex turns into soft, crying, embracing make-up sex (LMAO they just have a lot of sexual tension in their system). with the kind of “you think I didn’t care? wrong.” dialogue. and it’s Yoongi’s turn to be honest with his own feelings.

[ironmansuuucks]

Heyyyy, I'm new to the fandom (and tbh don't really understand Tumblr) so idk if this is the correct way to do this lol I ADORE your Dewey fanfics and would love one where Dewey and the reader first get together? Like first kiss story? I haven't read any yet. The rest is open to you ✨ Thank youuuu 💕

hello my lovely, welcome to this weird and wonderful fandom! this is honestly the best fandom i’ve ever been in, everyone is so so lovely and amazing and you’ll love it here!

this piece is super super SUPER cliched lol but it was fun to write and i hope you enjoy it!💕💕

Dewey was probably driving faster than he should have been. But he was high on adrenaline, and so were you. The street lamps flew past in a blur, illuminating the deserted, midnight roads. However the light pollution was little enough that you could still see the stars if you ducked your head and looked up at them from the van window. It was November. It was cold. Dewey had to scrape the van windscreen when the concert ended. His hands freezing from the ice.

The venue had been almost an hour away from the town you and Dewey lived in. which was fine. It just meant a longer time for you both to jam out in the van. The van was warm, and cosy, and Dewey must have replaced the air freshener as the woody smell of cinnamon filled the space. Your favourite.

The mix tape Dewey had on was impressive, and you had to mentally remind yourself to ask him for a copy as you belted out the lyrics to Paradise City by Guns n Roses. Again, your favourite.

Both of your ears were ringing and the after gig buzz was still coursing through your veins. You could hears Dewey’s rough, gravelly voice singing along to the song, sounding almost sore from all of the singing and shouting he had been doing. It was delightful. You could get used to that voice. It gave you butterflies.

The thing was, this was only your second date with the wannabe rockstar, and it just so happened that a band you both liked had been playing just outta town. Perfect.

You did know one another, but only really through friends of friends. This was the first time you had really spent time together. Just the two of you.

He seemed as though he had been having the time of his life. Or you hoped he was. You were. Those damn butterflies hardly left your insides, fluttering all night.

You didn’t know it yet, but the fluttering was also happening to him.

You couldn’t get your mind off of the way your bodies had brushed up against one another during the concert. Between the music filling your soul, and Dewey occasionally brushing up against your back or side, you were in heaven. The way his hair flopped as he moved his head along to the music made you want to run your hands through it, and the way his eyes seemed to delve into your soul when you caught one another’s gaze was intriguing. It felt good to have someone share such a passion for music. It was exciting. He was dreamy. And he had made you laugh all night. So much so you swore your ribs would be sore in the morning.

“yes I totally agree! Tea without cookies are boring as hell” you’d giggle at the randomness.

“yeah its like, website: we use cookies to improve our performance… me: same”.

“yeah I run a tight shipwreck” he would joke about his afterschool music club with the kids.

“no, a balanced diet is having a piece of pizza in each hand, y/n..”

“you know.. I say ‘woah’ to a lot of people.. and I think they misinterpret why..? they ain’t always good woahs”

 You got nervous as he turned into your street. You didn’t want to leave him yet. The night had been so fun.

Would he kiss you?

You shook your head to yourself a little. What if he had a crap night and was just being nice? What if he thought you were super boring and never wanted to see you. Internally panicking, you looked over at him and flashed him a quick, sheepish smile.

He returned.

His head was also spinning. Should I kiss her? What if she think’s I’m boring? She probably think’s I’m ugly. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

The van pulled up with a jolt. The events of the night truly coming to a halt.

“here, I’ll get the door for ya” he hurried himself out the van and into the cold air to come open your door. You watched the way his breath could be seen in the cold, winter night, and the way he hunched his shoulder’s a little to stay warm.

He smiled at you as the door opened. His hand went to his middle as he half bowed as you stepped out of the van “m’lady”. You rolled your eyes, laughing at his goofiness. “why thank you good sir” you opted for a posh English accent, half bowing back at him. what on earth were you doing.

Dewey closed the van door and put out his arm for you. “would the good lady like a supportive arm so the good lady does not fall on the ice?” he now also opted for a posh English accent. “the good lady would” you returned, taking his arm and giggling away.

It felt therapeutic to be vibing with someone who had the same goofy energy as you did.

It also felt thrilling to have his body brushed up against yours again. His warmth was helping to fight off the cold. It was like -3.

You glanced up at him, your eyes glistening with excitement, and your mouth curling to the biggest grin, letting out a little giggle. Dewey admired the way your cheeks lifted when you grinned at him. and the way your cheeks were blushed from the cold was captivating and cute as hell. He was smitten.

He couldn’t help but smirk back at you as he walked you to your door.

The path seemed to never end. And it wasn’t a long path. You looked back down at your boots. “I honestly had the most awesome night tonight Dewey” you looked back up at him.

He swore his heart skipped a beat when those words hit his ears. A little bit relieved, but a big bit excited. “me too! The concert was amazing… and I suppose the company was pretty okay too” he winked at you as you arrived at your door, nudging you a little.

You chuckled, hitting his arm playfully.

“no seriously, I had an awesome time with you tonight.. and you-you look really pretty tonight” he smiled bashfully before he stumbled over himself.. “not that you don’t always look pretty.. you do!.. I uh..” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

You blushed, smiling at him stumbling. “thank you Dewey.. you look pretty good yourself” you ruffled his hair a little, relishing in the feeling of finally feeling it through your fingers. He chuckled.

The air felt awkward for a second. You looked into his eyes, before looking at his lips, then back up to his eyes. Was he gonna kiss you?

He felt so nervous. He swore his hands were sweating even though it was literally -3 outside. His heart was pounding in his chest. But still, his face inched closer to yours, and there was no other place he would rather be.

The butterflies had returned. This time in full force. So much so that it felt like they may just flutter out of your mouth. But still, your lips parted, and your head inched closer to his. You were both pretty close already. You feel his breath on your face. It was welcoming and warm, an enjoyable contrast from the cold of the winter.

You suddenly felt his warm hands on the sides of your face as he closed the gap between you, his top lip finding its place in between yours as both of your eyes fluttered shut.

It was so delicate. His lips barely brushed yours, softly, like butterfly wings and just long enough for you to inhale his breath, and feel the warmth of his skin. You had never gotten so lost in a kiss before.

Dewey swears his heart is skipping beats and he never realised how starving he was until he tasted you. He had kissed before, but it didn’t leave him burning the way this one did.

And then he parted. His hands falling from your face as his lips ghosted yours, his eyes opening. He admired the way you looked before you opened your eyes; so content and beautiful.

Opening your eyes to the handsome rockstar felt enthralling. His eyes dreamily gazing into yours. You wanted to do that again. So you did.

You pushed your lips to his again, without warning, without even really deciding to do it, but simply because you couldn’t have done anything else.

It wasn’t as soft. It was a little needier, a little more fiery. He opened his mouth, deepening it a little, allowing access. You could feel his scruff on your face now, tickling your skin. His hands brushed your hand, his fingers suddenly intertwining with yours.

Parting, you opened your eyes, admiring the face before you. Your smile grew as you watch him smirk.

“woah…” he breathed.

“I hope that’s a good woah..”.

@thewolfisapartofmysoul @texasblues @paxenera​ @heknowshisherbs​ @missihart23​ @geminiacally​ @go-commander-kim​ @gegehaddock​ @baby-beej  @hoodoo12​ @large-unit​ ​ @bugdrinkss​ @ssheinaa​ @demonwifey​ @beetle-herbs 

[authoratmidnight]

My half asleep brain this morning woke me up and was like ‘you know what would make a fun crossover? Natsume Yuujinchou x Fruits Basket’

Why? I have no idea. Idk how that would work aside from one of the groups (either Natsume and co or the Tohru gang) going on some kind of school trip out to the city/town of the other and their paths crossing that way.

Also idk how much supernatural stuff aside from the Sohma curse actually pops up in FruBa so idk if it would make sense for them to see yokai so I just split the difference on it and opted for ‘they can sense the yokai and the most they can see is a blurry shape’

But ahem, stupid idea 1) Natsume group goes on a field trip to the city.

Dunno what kind of field trip, maybe to a museum or something, doesn’t matter, they go and during some free time the class splits up and Natsume’s group (him, Tanuma, Nishimura and Kitamoto, maybe Taki too idk) head off together but WHOOPS this city is b i g and none of them know it that well and wait where’d Natsume go??

Natsume got distracted by something and wandered off (or chased after Nyanko who went searching for food) and now whoops he’s lost.

(After an unfortunate encounter with the local girl gang Nyanko takes on Reiko’s form to protect Natsume cause Natsume can’t fight and also Reiko is intimidating and someone gotta keep the beanpole safe till they can find his friends)

Natsume somehow ends up at the Sohma house (either chasing a yokai or chasing a hungry Nyanko idk) tho luckily the only one there atm is Shigure (and Natsume is amused b/c that’s the same name as one of his guardians).

Shigure is a smart cookie and notices fairly quickly two things about Natsume. One is that this poor boy, skittish as a lamb, has def been through some shit at some point and has been hurt by people before like Yuki so carefulness is required. The second is that he’s, different, there’s something about him that’s not like most people. Esp when he notices Natsume looking at the funny blurs that he catches sight of every now and then (like, there’s tiny, harmless yokai running about the house and Natsume notices them).

Also,

Shigure: So, just so we’re clear, you’re not related to anyone with the last name ‘Sohma’ are you?

Natsume: No?

Shigure: *breathing a sigh of relief that there’s no unaccounted for Sohma’s running around.

Natsume: But I mean I know like nothing about my mom’s side of the family so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shigure: *screeching*

(cause Natsume’s hair and eyes, ESP the manga colours are unusual so, lmao)

And then the teenage trio returns home and Natsume is just ‘oh NO’ b/c earlier in the day his group had had a run in with Kyo(literally) and when Kyo got grumpy with Natsume for not watching where he was going, Nyanko bit him in retaliation before Natsume’s group issues a hasty apology and bolted before the situation could get worse. And it’s very awkward and tense cause Natsume can’t even look at Kyo.

At some point Shigure notices that Natsume’s funky cat is mia and the boy is surrounded by an awful large blurry, misty thing (when Kyo notices this he does try to behave a bit more cause not only does it seem like whatever it is is protecting Natsume, Natsume seems fully aware of its presence so like, what is this boy??? what powerful things is he friends with??? is he even human?) Even more so when Natsume leaves, all but bolting from the room with a hasty apology and goodbye, because the way he moves around the unseen thing makes it clear that he can see it, perhaps more clearly than they do.

And then Shigure sends them, or at least Kyo, off to find Natsume cause ‘are you really gonna let this scared and lost kid just run around this city alone, esp after acting like that? for shame.’ (Kyo’s grumpy but soft and yeah ok maybe he did over react and that kid did apologize and did seem a bit scared so he should do something about this)

(Kyo’s definitely certain he saw Natsume talking to the blur around him and that it also turned back into his weird lookin cat but he’s just gonna, not say anything cause he don’t wanna risk looking like a nut to Tohru-who can’t see/sense yokai at all-or Yuki-who didn’t witness those scenes)

They do find Natsume and reunite him with his friends-Natsume has to keep his over protective friends from flipping out on Kyo like ‘no it’s ok we’re cool now’

Also Natsume buying one of Shigure’s novels (NOT the trashy romance ones haha oh god) to show his Shigure back home cause they share the same name and it kinda amuses him.

Stupid idea #2 FruBa gang goes on a trip to (or to somewhere near) Natsume’s hometown

Idk what kinda of interesting things are in or near Natsume’s home but the group goes there for like a field trip or a vacation.

Much like in scenario one they have a literal collision with Natsume’s group, but Kyo was already in a foul mood for one reason or another so he just snaps at Natsume, something about needing to watch where he’s going. And Natsume just kind of, freezes up, there’s a person yelling at him, berating him for being stupid/clumsy. And before his friends can say or do anything he just books it out of there, absolutely terrified cause whoops there’s some bad memories resurfacing and his mind was outta there before the rest of him was.

Tanuma, Nishi and Kitamoto are not pleased. Nor is Tohru, who for sure gives him a good talking to before everyone fans out to find Natsume (cause he should not be alone atm). I feel like Yuki at the very least would be able to recognize the reactions of someone whose been abused and is just like ‘oh shit’ the moment Kyo starts being an ass.

And in predictable Natsume fashion, yokai shit happens. Which is a bad combo cause Natsume is not in the right head space to be dealing with a yokai that wants its name back atm. And ofc in typical Natsume fashion the yokai are dramatic lil fucks and decides that Kyo and/or Yuki might make a good snack/a ‘well if you won’t give it back then I’ll just eat your friend’ sort of thing.

And even though Natsume is scared and not ok rn he’s also not about to let them get eaten even if Kyo was previously rude to him(like, he deserves a good talking too, not to be turned into lunch lol).

And it must look very strange to them to see Natsume, scared as all fuck, but standing between them and this, something they can barely see but that he can see (and punch apparently cause oh god he just punched it and sent it flying wtf is this scrawny kid?) and then a second big thing comes to Natsume’s aid which he calls ‘Nyanko-sensei’ (which only serves to baffling them later when Natsume’s weird cat appears and Natsume calls it Nyanko-sensei). Eventually the yokai is dealt with, name returned and Natsume begging them to not tell his friends about all that cause they don’t know about this.

And then Natsume has to hold his friends back cause they find him and he’s all scraped up and Kyo is there ofc they think the worst.

But everything gets worked out in the end.

Other random thing I thought of, Natsume meeting Ayame and just being like ‘oh NO. he’s Natori but WORSE’ and praying that they never, ever meet.

Also, Natsume at some point discovering the Sohma family secret and is just like ‘well...it’s not the strangest thing I’ve ever seen or dealt with’ cause like it’s unusual yeah but he deals with yokai on a daily basis. Frankly very little surprises him at this point.

Anyways yeah, Natsume FruBa crossover b/c why not.

[thesunsethour]

Little Les Mis Things ~ 28 Dec 2018

* okay so this is becoming a series

* let’s get started my guys

* DUBLIN EDITON

* KILLIAN DONNELLY BACK AS MY MAIN MAN JEAN VALJEAN!! he was perfect absolutely incredibly prefect. i saw him a year ago in london and then booked again for this summer but he was gone so when i found out he was gonna be in dublin i like ran to get tickets (i explained this all to him at 482994 miles an hour at stage door he was lovely). Killian is the best Valjean i’ve ever seen he hits all the high notes his acting is superb he just embodies everything jean valjean and i will treasure his stint as JVJ for as long as i live

* Katie Hall as Fantine was amazing!!! you really got the sense that fantine wasn’t this ‘can-do-no-wrong angelic woman’ but literally a young girl forced into terrible circumstances which Katie played SO WELL holy fuck. her acting with javert and JVJ was just stellar

* Javert was Nic Greenfields and he. was. INCREDIBLE!!! stars honestly had me in tears what the fuck man it was beautiful and he was like slowly getting more haggard as the musical went on and khlgkfk I LOVED HIM

* Cosette was Bronwen Hanson and she was the smiliest Cosette i’ve ever seen it was so pure you could really see her as just the embodiment of light and hope and her scenes with Marius was A+++

* Speaking of Marius, Mr Henry Apps made his professional debut during this tour and WOW!! astounding. he was awkward but not annoying and love struck but not sickening

* Enjolras!! Will Richardson!!! he had the good ass blond curls for this role GOOD ASS BLOND CURLS!! he was so good and his singing was beautifulllllllllllLll

* Éponine my love was Tegan Bannister and this was a solid af éponine tegan really made this role her own while still being éponine if you get me it was gr88888

* Thénardier was Martin Ball and need i say any more than he stole the goddamn show

* Mme Thénardier was Sophie-Louise Dann and hoooooooly shit was she committed to her accent it was brilliant and she was hilarious

* OK GENERAL THINGS

* there was no revolve like there is in london and so the whole staging was different and it was freaking fantastic

* they included all these little book moments like when valjean steals some money from a kid twas good

* killian donnelly is a fantastic actor and when JVJ is getting rejected by everyone at the start i was nearly on my feet like “STOP BEING MEAN TO HIM!!!”

* jean valjean got beat up so much in this production. someone help him. let him sleep. stop punching my boy

* the foreman really was fuming today and you could really sense the fear he pity in everyone

* fantine also got beat up by the other factory girls leave my girl alone please!!!

* her hair was so beautiful and when they cut it it was so sad

* fantines transformation from ‘virtuous’ to ‘lovely lady’ was never more pronounced then in this and you could see the early stages of her sickness and anger and hooooo boy it was emotional

* you could also see some of the other ladies getting sick and it kinda made out that they also died soon after and that’s so sad oh god

* when that prick who accuses fantine started babbling to Javert fantine had like kill bill sirens going on

* fantine practically attacked JVJ and was like “kinda all your fault bruh” and jvj has his sad puppy dog brooding face of oh no my morality it was dramatic

* javert: jean valjean was captured this morning” JVJ AS MLM: *freeze frame* huh whaaaaa

* who am I? 2!4!6!0! ONEEEEEEEEEE (high note thanks k!!)

* fantines death was so tragic i died too

* whenever a character dies a really bright white light shines on them store that info it’ll become important later

* when jvj met cosette he booped her nose remember that too it’ll become important later on

* master of the house was fucking fantastic best sequence in the whole first act

* thénardier not knowing how to bless himself when his wife says “it’s no more than us christians should do”

* GAVROCHE!!! my little man!!!!! LEGAND our little narrator

* montparnasse didnt have his hat babet did and i was sad

* however, montparnasse was fabulous and his acting choices (by leo miles) were superb and really book accurate he was always real sneaky and sly with perfect posture

* when cosette and marius met cosette dissolved into giggles and it really served to humanise that meet moment

* G R A N T A I R E ( ruben van keer) was the best grantaire i’ve ever seen. he was constantly drunk and drinking and hanging off people and you could see he reallyyyyyy annoyed enjolras BUT R and gavroche had the sweetest relationship (remember that, it’ll be important later)

* gavroche, standing on table: “lemarque is dead”

* enjolras, lifting him down: “lemarque is dead. hmmm. that’s sa- LETS USE HIS FUNERAL FOR OUR POLITICAL MOTIVES”

* all the amis were like “seems kinda soon? idk” but E was just so inspiring that they were like “hell yeah” after two seconds

* cosette was on her balcony and marius was below it ala romeo and juliet and when cosette rushed back into her house to come downstairs marius flung himself against the wall “IM DOING EVERYTHING ALL WRONG” lol drama queen

* attack on rue plumet- CHECK

* during on my own the entire audience seemed to have caught a coughing bug and were hacking up their lungs like SHH

* after on my own éponine walked upstage and the barricade like filled in behind her it was class

* éponine screamed in pain during a little fall of rain and honestly? i died it was so sad

* grantaire hugged gavroche so tightly after éponine died and kissed his head it was so gentle wooeowoowow i stan older/younger brother dynamics

* OKAY SO AFTER GRANTAIRES VERSE IN DRINK WITH ENJOLRAS RAN DOWN FROM THE BARRICADE AND THEN DIDNT HUG HIM AND I WAS LIKE HMMMMMM OK WHAT BUT THEN AS R STUMBLED AWAY EVERYONE IGNORED HIM AND HE COLLAPSED IN A CORNER BUT GAVROCHE RAN OVER AND HUGGED HIM AND FELL ASLEEP ON HIS LEGS CURLED UP IM N O T O K A Y

* bring him home murdered me

* it was so beautiful

* everyone listen to killian donnelly sing bring him home

* he got a solid 2 minute long applause it seemed like the applause would never stop

* since they didn’t have a revolve stage when gavroche went round to pick the ammunition you could hear him singing but couldn’t see him and when the first shot rang out all the barricade boys like jumped but then he started singing and climbing again and made it all the way to the top of the barricade before being shot, bathed in white light and collapsing into enjolras’ arms

* it was SO SAD

* enjolras passed him to grantaire who SOBBED

* and so instead of enjolras and grantaire hugging in drink with me they made had like a solemn moment of understanding over gavroches body and they both looked to traumatised and fuck

* fuck

* then as all the amis died on various parts of the barricade white light was shining in every direction and grantaire was the last to die

* when JVJ was dragging marius into the sewer he was just muttering little reassurances to marius like “come on now good boy there we go not long left come on please” and boy did that shit hurt

* enjolras was upside down in a wagon cause there was no revolve and javert piled gavroches body on top of him

* when thénardier woke JVJ up thénardier nearly karate chopped him it was hilarious

* turning fucked me up they all brought candles on stage and there was this little child there and oh fuck it was so sad

* BUT THEN

* during empty chairs marius walked into a stage filled with candles and picked up éponines one and all the amis filed on and picked up their candle and walked off as he sang and at the very end marius blew out éponines candle and raised the jar it was in like a final toast to his friends what tje fuck that’s sad

* during the wedding the thénardiers were so funny and all the wedding guests copied their ridiculous dance moves

* WHEN JVJ WAS DYING I WAS DYING HE LOOKED SO FRAIL AND OLD AND HE BOOPED COSETTES NOSE AS HE WAS DYING LHLKHKKHKHKG

* fuck off bye i’m broken that was so goddamn good

[belladonnablake]

All odd numbers 🖤

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?: boston summer sunsets are always peachy but there’s something about the morning sky after it snows that is just as good? sunsets for summer and mornings for winter3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?: i’d like to wear scarves more often than i do but i don’t know what to do with the back of my hair when i do? so maybe i will more often once it’s styled if i ever go to a hairdresser before the next time i die? but i do have a fave! i bought myself a tottenham hotspur scarf in the north end more than a few years ago and i’ll. try to take pictures of myself wearing it. i’ll try to take pictures of myself this year because i didn’t last year lol5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?: there’s a lot of things but i can’t think of too many right now! a lot of it is regional food you can’t find in new england or you can but you have to go out of your way. i’ve tried both rabbit and gator in the past couple years and i want to try more meats. caribou would be nice too. this is one of those questions i could talk forever without ever answering it completely so i’ll cut it here you’re welcome7: Do you listen to ASMR?: not too often but i’ll listen to rain or like moving water in general when i write on occasion, otherwise the music i’m listening to influences the music i’m writing. but nothing more than that9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?: i answered this but because it’s a question that can be answered more than once so i’m gonna do that. i love winter jack jack daniels. it’s like apple whiskey. i love my new pink and green joycons and i love the green and pink colour scheme in general. i love my new hoodies too. one is a powell peralta hoodie with a small logo on the front and big on the back, of the bones skeleton with the red hood. and the other is a thrasher hoodie with green font and a pink jellyfish11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?: my hands are shaky and have always been shaky so my straight lines, they’re straighter than i am but they’re still bad. i don’t even think i own a ruler but if i were going to draw a straight line i’m going to need one lol13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?: one of them is apple something and the other two are sparkling icicles and sweater weather which like. i don’t know how to describe either but it’s not the same as lighting a sweater on fire or sticking an icicle up your nose15: Do you have glasses?: another one where i’ll try to take pics for later but i have green aviators, red aviators, and purple aviators. all sunglasses off of rainbowoptx dot com17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?: winter autumn tie but my fave months are october, november, and december, and all but ten days of that are in autumn? 19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie: it’s been years since i’ve seen either so forgive me if my memory fails me but i remember princess mononoke, kiki’s delivery service, and spirited away the most out of all of either ghibli or disney? and i should probably rewatch them soon as well as the others to see if that still stands21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?: i don’t think i’ve ever actually gotten snacks at the theatre? i haven’t been in years, but there are a few things either out or coming out that look like they’d be worth going even if the concept of theatres is something that i don’t really understand? ...i’m thinkin bout once upon a time in hollywood baby! the best candy for theatres is reeses pieces and like any of the bites candy? cookie dough bites etc23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?: i keep my liquor bottles around to use them as vases tbh. there really isn’t a place for plants in our apartment, or maybe there is and i haven’t found it25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.): my style varies all the time and i try to do all of the above, i’m very inconsistent myself. but i’m very fond of 3D modeling atm!27: Do you like nicknames?: i like nicknames if i like the person using them? i’m a person with a lot of names because i’m a dumb kinnie and hate using one name exclusively and i guess all my names are nicknames but like. i don’t like how nicknames for most people are shortened names or how they think shorter names are nicknames for a longer name idk like i’ve got a cousin named liam, that’s not his nickname. his legal name might be william but that’s not his name. his nicknames have nothing to do with that. and like there’s nothing wrong with nicknames that are shortened versions of a name but i hate how that’s what most people think of them as29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth): i don’t like how meme formats are the same and the reaction image changes. i like reaction images but i don’t like how some of them become memes and then it changes to a different image for the same format. i like the new wave of doge memes and i still like pepe and i love how stupid dat boi was 31:  Are you a fashionable person?: i’m a crusty folk punk that wears the same flannel every day but doesn’t know how to make crust pants33:  Cookies or brownies?: i don’t love either and would rather just eat raw cookie dough. i think there is such a thing as too much chocolate and brownies do have too much and cookies are often borderline but i do like a baller macaron or cheesecake cookie35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?: i live in a city so... replace crickets with drunks screaming anything from the lyrics to everlong to i need you! we need you! we need you! we need you! we need you! fucking idiot! i don’t have further context for either but ya that’s relaxing to me37:  How often do you doodle?: not as often as i should because of the perfectionism thing giving me this fear of practice? i blame public school for killing off as many artists as they can tbh39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?: mr. durdam... he is a hollow plastic penguin around kneehigh next to the tv stand / amiibo shelves. we also hung waluigi from the ceiling for a while.41: Any birthmarks?: i got two dots on my wrist, one larger one smaller. looks like an exclamation point !43: First video game you ever played?: it was either one of the early zelda games or one of the ps1 games? i was too young to form memories but i know it was one of the two. i know i played arcade games at some arcade on hampton beach when i was that young too. qbert that orange FUCK45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?: i’m trying to get better at remembering to save reaction images and remembering to use them. i don’t even know how people use the gifs when replying to people because i was stuck with a phone that couldn’t update its operating system for years and now i have a new phone with an up to date operating system and i’m still figuring things out47: Ideal temperature outside?: so it’s either gonna be below freezing so it’s able to snow or like... around 50 or below and literally feels like nothing at all. because i hate when it’s too hot to wear beanies. i like when it’s cold and i like when it’s not hot or cold. but i hate hot49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?: if i were to go outside and lie down on my back i could watch airplanes all day long. it’s a little different than being on castle island but it’s still close enough to logan to where planes are near constant but not too loud. i hear the train every ten minutes too. and the cars are always

[she-has-tc-tea]

Coffee Time #1 😍 11.21.18

Here it is guys, the long awaited update (AND BOY IS IT A GOOD ONE)

First of all it is freezing up in here so I was especially glad I had to go on a coffee run for dear old Luke. I had a really chill morning, got our coffee and headed to campus.

So I get to the building his office is in and what do I see through one of the windows? Luke wearing my favorite blue shirt and the poor dude looks miserable. He was talking to another professor that he isn’t particularly fond of, so I knew he’d be uncomfortable, let alone it must have been the first person he ran into this morning. I got into the building and headed towards his office (which he wasn’t in yet but I didn’t see him in the hallway on the way so idk where he went) so I just waited outside of the office. It wasn’t locked, I just wanted to wait outside for him :)

This gave me some time to let my hands warm up cause i’m a freak and never wear gloves when its cold cause I’m scared I’m gonna fall and not be able to catch myself (yes I’ve done this before and totally landed on my literal FACE) Then I hear Luke down the hallway and when he turns the corner and sees me he gets the ABSOLUTE cutest smile on his face (plus his gimpy walk is really funny so he looked extra adorable in the moment)

He said “Oh my goodness!” in a very sleepy voice as if he didn’t already know I was going to surprise him lol and I just said “I got your favorite!” and WHAT does he say??? “More like my two favorites!” and I just smiled like an idiot while he walked past and opened the door to his office for me cause he meant his two favorites 1) coffee that he didn’t pay for and 2) ME

So we’re both in his office and I put my coffee on his desk cause I wanted to take off my backpack, and I go to hand him his and our fingers brush (I’m like omg wtf is this love?) and he immediately says “holy crap why are your hands so cold? don’t you have gloves?” I just looked pretty guilty and said “no….” and what does this cutie do??? he grabs my hands with both of his and holds them for a bit to warm them the FUCK up. He’s standing really close so once again i’m like is this love?? and it only lasted like 5 seconds in total, basically the time it takes to say “you. need. gloves.” With an adorable smile before stepping back and handing me my cup, saying “this’ll take it from here.” like 😍 😍 😍 WTF

This isn’t a totally unusual thing to happen between us, he’s very sweet (only with me though, he pretty much neutral towards everyone else) and we’re comfortable enough for really innocent shoulder touches and just being close in general. But this was so thoughtful like he can read my mind??? After all that we just had small talk about what we’re doing over the break (I’m not even spending it with my family, just with a friend) and he’s pretty much doing the same. (I’ll go into that later, maybe when I have a bit more info about his history in the relationship department) I SWEAR I wanted so bad to ask him if he wanted to do something over the break but I had absolutely 0% courage to do it so I just scurried outta there and he gave me the sweetest “thank you!” in the whole world and I said “of course!” because a) we don’t ever say goodbye, it’s always see you later or just a mutual “until next time” look. end scene.

So that’s the first coffee update! I’d say it went pretty damn well so I can’t wait to bring him more :D this one was cut a little short cause I had to go to another professor’s office hours so hopefully Monday we’ll spend wayyyy more time together. Also I didn’t see him in class today cause it was canceled but hey I got more than I could ever ask for in one day!

[ang3lfuck]

Small rant

I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday which a lot of you have probably been through and like it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but the healing process is the worst

The first thing I remember when I woke up is that I was shivering like freezing cold and the lady woke me up literally just saying "you need to stop smoking because we had to give you an oxygen tube to keep up your breathing" which yanno its FINE she was being real but being half in a daze ofc it freaked me out so I started bawling and like I was completely frozen in the mouth trying to ask to see my boyfriend who I couldn't see yet because I had a fucking IV still in my arm lol

So like 10 minutes later I was finally ready to leave and I didn't literally get to talk to the surgeon or anyone after which is fine but they basically just threw all the stuff I needed at my boyfriend and we left and they told me I would get a follow up call the next day but what do you fucking know I never fucking heard from them at all. Kool

I'm not that swollen but the worst parts about this IMO is not eating solid food and honestly not smoking is killing me

I'm all for taking the time I need for my mouth to heal before doing anything else dumb to prevent infection but the withdrawls I'm having from not smoking cannabis especially is shitty because it already decreases my appetite and makes me a sweaty mess 24/7 but yanno, I'm troopin along. I've also been using nicoderm patches for cig cravings which do help but it isn't the same to me.

The fact that I woke up to that lady telling me to stop smoking tobacco spooked me enough to really want to try to quit but at the same time I feel like im not ready to. I just have to take it as time goes. I've been an emotional mess recently also because my Starbucks closed down and I got shipped to work at one of the busiest malls in the city and I'm just not happy. Its a lot for me to deal with right now and I'm just not too sure where to move on from here. The last store I worked at was the happiest I've been in a work place and it just came and crashed down on me so w/e typical

I should also mention I'm writing this moments after i popped a t3 because my neck and jaw are really the only things hurting me so I'm half loopy half irritated with the world because its not the high I want lol

Long story short don't start smoking kids

Also i saw captain marvel tonight and it was aiight but I also lost one of my earrings in the theatre and I'm staying at my boyfriends because he's looking after me so I have no extra earrings on me so I just shoved one of my extra nose rings in my half caved in already piercing and I kinda want to die about it

Its 2:30 in the morning also rn and I'm fucking awake because my boyfriend basically ruined my sleeping schedule because he's either playing his video games too loud or when he actually tries to sleep he snores so I slept on the couch last night and i wont be surprised if I have to again tonight

Forgive this nonsense post I'm just aggravated with a lot right now and I wanted to type out all my feelings idk

[canaryatlaw]

well today was pretty good, best day in a while. I woke up at like, 8:20 with my alarm set for 8:45 and knew I wasn’t going to fall back asleep now that I had this knowledge so I just laid in bed and waited for my alarm to go off and then got up lol. I definitely packed like 4 different snacks in my purse, just because I felt like it was good to have them on hand for today (I ended up eating two of them). It was WAY TOO FUCKING COLD today, like 44, so I had to wear my fucking winter coat and it was awful and Chicago I’m so mad at you about this because it’s late May dammit I shouldn't have to still be putting up with this bullshit. I felt bad for the kids on the baseball/softball fields the bus passes that were already out there playing at 9 am when it was so cold. I do distinctly have memories of playing soccer in the snow, it was the end of the season and they had to get the games in, I legit had my winter coat on with my jersey over it, and it was legit snowing while we were playing. I can’t say it was really a negative memory though, because pretty much all my like, actual childhood memories of playing soccer were happy because I loved it so much, it was only once the breathing issues set in when I was 12 did they start becoming awful, frustrating and heartbreaking memories because I still loved it so much but I couldn’t do it now, and I felt so inadequate that I legit burst into tears on several occasions.....but then I found theatre and things were much happier again, so we can walk back that little tangent a little. But yeah, I took the bus to the train, I had to wait 11 minutes for the next train and it was fucking cold, I only had my coat, not my scarf or gloves or hat because IT’S MAY and I was freezing. But we got to church, a few minutes late but no big deal, I ended up sitting a little farther back than usual but it’s all good. I remembered upon arriving that small group sign ups opened up at 8 am this morning, and they fill up super fast, so I was bad and went on my phone discreetly during the service to make sure I could get a spot in the Young Adults/20s and 30s Singles small group. You’re supposed to be able to commit to 75% of the meetings before signing up, which I can’t technically do at this point because idk what’ll be happening in my life in July, but I know one of the leaders, she graduated from another law school in the city a few years back so I think I’ll just talk to her and be like as soon as I know if I have to leave I’ll drop out and someone else can have the spot and I’m sure she’ll be cool with it. Great worship as always, the little question they gave to talk to your neighbor for a minute while they transition was “if you could be any superhero who could you be” so I turn to the guy next to me and was like OH BOY, this is my fucking jam haha and we had a short conversation about DC vs Marvel and DCTV, so that was cool. Early in the sermon about the holy spirit my pastor brought up this group called “The Power Team” which I had completely forgot was a thing, but as soon as he said I had suddenly had these super vivid memories of sitting in some room in some church somewhere on Long Island (I had to have been like, 7, so I was little) and just watching these incredibly jacked guys do things like smash bricks with their hands and bend frying pans in half and literally blow up a hot water bottle until it burst, all while saying things like “IT’S THE POWER OF GOD THAT LETS US DO THIS” and that was their whole jam, that we were supposed to believe they could only do these superhuman acts because of God specifically enabling them to do them. I don’t know what was going on in the heads of the adults who were sending kids to this thing all the while knowing it had to be a farce, and that was the point my pastor was making, there’s nothing incredible about a man being able to do an act that he is physically built enough to do, if a normal not jacked guy came up and ripped a phonebook in half (that was another thing they did, my pastor joked “if some of you don’t know what that is, we used to print the internet”) by calling on the holy spirit then that would be something you could actually attribute to God, and how when we don’t believe incredible things in our lives can happen we aren’t realizing the full power of God (or something along those lines, you know what I mean). It got me thinking a bit about growing up in the church and how many kids raised in the church (so called “second generation Christians”) end up straying from the church, and how I felt like I got a bit of a cheat sheet in that area. I remember being in some sunday school class somewhere along the line and they were like “who’s had prayer requests that they’ve had answered by God?” and all the other kids were like “well I won my baseball game!” or “when I had the flu I got better!” and I was just like “well I actually prayed a human being into existence by praying for a little sister for three years until it happened” and I just remember the teacher being like........don’t know how to follow that up lol. Anyway. Service ended and I went to the volunteer lounge for our huddle up, it was the last week with one of the family ministries leaders, so we did a whole little celebration for him which was nice. When I got up to the baby’s room I was alone at first and one of the leaders/my friend came in and was like “oh you’re definitely not supposed to be alone, there were like 3 people signed up” so I did end up getting another person. Things went pretty smoothly overall, we ended up with 6  babies at one point, but ended up having to text the parents of this one little girl who was so adorable but was just not having it, she kept reaching towards the door and yelling “mama, mama!” as she cried and I was like damn, I can’t take this lol but besides that there were no real tears, everyone did pretty well together. There was a super adorable little boy who I’m pretty sure already turned 2 but if they want to keep him with the babies that’s fine with me, he wasn’t really engaging at first but after several attempts he got into it and was having fun. And there was this super cute little 11 month old girl who is the spitting image of her dad, her dad is definitely mixed race and it looks like her mother might be as well (I’m just speculating obviously) but the baby has that like, super adorable darker skin lighter hair and eyes thing going on and gosh, she’s just so damn cute lol. She’s still at the stage where she can’t fully stand up on her own, but will try to find anything she can grab onto to help pull herself  up, which can be problematic when she’s grabbing on like, the dirty diaper disposal haha but nothing too bad. There was a 7 month old little girl, and another one who was 19 months, both of whom were pretty calm, and there was the daughter of the couple who recently started heading up family ministries and she’s just the cutest little thing, she’s just got the whole chubby baby thing going on and she gives the best hugs and is so cute. So that went pretty well. After it ended I went back to the blue line train, but then switched over to the red line because I was going to meet Jess at the tattoo place to go with her to get her tattoo, so I did that and then walked down to the place, it was right across the street from the Target I generally go to so I knew where it was. They had  bit of a wait so we ended up sitting and talking for a while, which was good because we hadn’t seen each other in like a month so we had a lot of catching up to do. Then her name got called so she was talking with the guy about what she wanted done, and I chatted for a few minutes with another guy about the tattoo situation on me wrist (being that I got a white ink tattoo on it in January 2014 and then in July 2016 broke my wrist and ended up with a giant surgery scar right through my tattoo) and they basically said white ink tattoos are super hard to touch up because of the way the ink reacts to your body and it probably would not come out looking very good, so it'd probably be better to let it fade (they’re supposed to fade out it like 10 years, which I was aware of when I got it because it was another way I could be like “well if I decided I don’t want it anymore I can just let it fade and it’ll be gone” to my parents about it) and then maybe try something else in a different location, so I’m going to think about it, another option would be to get another tattoo on top of the old one, but I feel like that would be difficult to do without adding some color, and the whole point of it being white ink was to not draw attention to it because lawyer and I’m already kind of toeing the line of professionalism with my bright red hair and multiple ear piercings. so we’ll see, I’ll think about it, maybe in a few years when I’m somewhat established in the legal world. But yeah, they printed up Jess’ thing and made a stencil, and we came back and did the tattoo, during which we talked about Divergent and I was explaining my theory on how the hogwarts houses transfer into the Divergent factions (Amity and Abnegation are both just Hufflepuff, Dauntless is half gryffindor half slytherin, candor is half gryffindor half ravenclaw, and erudite is half ravenclaw half slytherin) (clearly I’ve put a lot of thought into this) as she squeezed my hand and was super brave through the whole thing (I know she doesn’t read these but I hope she knows I’m super proud of her for dealing with a whole lot of shit and making it out the other side still being an awesome human being). So once they finished up we ran over to the Target to get tattoo aftercare supplies, namely Aquaphor (which is apparently like bacitracin, I recognized the name but didn’t know what it actually was) and Dial hand soap, while I needed to pick up some make up removing wipes, and ended up grabbing a really cute pair of shorts because they were really cute and were my size and not made out of polyester and ended up being on sale, so, they were clearly a reasonable purchase. Checked out, I got a sour watermelon icee that I had been wanting to try (I got a super small one and I still couldn’t finish the whole thing without it burning my mouth, lol) and Jess got a passion tea/lemonade from the starbucks. So we then walked over to where she parked, and drove over to my place where she dropped me off and then went to lay in bed for the rest of the night because the seatbelt was like, apparently right on top of where the tattoo was and it was super painful so that sounded like a good plan. I got to my apartment and decided I wanted to make the parmesan noodle soup I made like a week or so ago for dinner which I realize contains like 800 calories in pasta but I don’t really care because it’s really good. So I did that, then waited for the Brooklyn 99 season finale to come on. Can I just say, I’m so proud of this show. I binged seasons one and two in preparation for season three because it was announced that Archie Panjabi was going to be on an episode and I was still hardcore on my Archie Panjabi kick at that point, especially for supporting work she did after she left TGW after being treated so poorly. But I ended up really liking the show so I kept watching, and like, suddenly it was everywhere and everyone was watching it and it was just this super awesome show everybody loved and it made me so happy. Obviously the season finale is a big deal, they really should’ve made it an hour special, but they did just fine in their half hour slot fitting in all the craziness that had to accompany a Jake/Amy wedding. So that made me happy. Once that was over I switched over to Netflix, and finished the episode of the great british baking show masterclass (the masterclass is basically just the two judges making their super awesome versions of what the contestants on the actual show had to make and it’s nuts but also super calming to watch. Once that was over I decided to start episode two of 13 Reasons Why’s second season, I figured I’d intercut watching it with british people baking as to not get too depressed about it. There was definitely a tonal shift in the show from last season to now, partially just because people are constantly dropping f-bombs which very much did not happen last season, and just generally being racier with things. I still have a lot of mixed feelings about the show, and I’m not terribly sure it’s something I want to endorse, but I at least want to watch it so I can make an informed decision on it. And again, I do feel some loyalty to it from having read the book all those years ago. The tone its take is definitely strange, though. The courtroom scenes continue to bother me because again, the defense’s entire case is bullshit inadmissible under rule of evidence 404 character evidence and is basically a victim blaming nightmare and has obviously been super traumatizing for all of the kids who they’ve had testify so far. The whole Jessica/Bryce situation is clearly incredibly volatile, and I very much hope it ends in Bryce having to face up to his crimes. The Alex storyline is interesting, it was an intriguing choice to go with a memory loss plot from his suicide attempt at the end of last season, so I’m interested to see how that’s going to play out. As far as Clay and Hannah and Skye are concerned, very much mixed feelings as well. Clay is of course clearly suffering from trauma and likely needs a mental health intervention, and not just because he’s quite literally seeing ghosts. Something about how they wrote Skye in this last episode kind of got under my skin, just that they’re going for the whole ~insecure artsy girl~ thing and I realize that’s most likely because I recognize the similarities of her with my own life and though I’m doing much better overall I do definitely still hate parts of me and that’s very much one of them. But yeah, it was a lot, so after that I watched two british baking episodes before starting to get ready for bed. It’s just past 1:30 am and I don’t have to be up for anything tomorrow, but I don’t want to waste the entire day sleeping in, so I’m going to call it a night here. Goodnight loves. Hope you have a kickass Monday.

[get-the-treasure]

school log #1

9-5-17

Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.

Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.

Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???

Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.

Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a  w  f  u  l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.

Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.

Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.

Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.

Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)

Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.

Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left??? 

After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol

[ianb0hen]

sooooooooooo purcon3 let’s do this

so we actually got there on thursday (james blunt was on our flight in like wtf????) and waited around to check in and explored what was around the hotel food wise so then went upstairs to get ready to get ready for little mix. then we went downstairs to ask at the desk where to buy a ticket for the trams and we saw rob checking in lol we had to point out where the lifts were cos that boy was not gonna go in the right direction.

anyways little mix and the vamps were fucking lit the crowd was so loud they were v good. so we went back and slept day 1 done

day 2 we explored some more got some pretzels it was chill. it was also really warm i was like wtf this isn’t what i signed up for. and then we like queued to register which only took like an hour and got our tickets to rob’s concert. we went upstairs got changed, did rob’s concert. ngl the crowd pissed me off. like a whole bunch of people were talking over him while he spoke and while he sang it was really rude???? i didn’t get why you would pay to go and not even listen to him. but i kept accidentally making eye contact with gil while i was singing along and i got embarrassed lmao.

day 3 first thing we did was matt’s lounge which got me so nervous i wish i recorded it on my phone but i thought it would be like rogue where you kept your bags somewhere else so i didn’t think i would have been able to but oh well. so matt answered some questions and like it went silent and he like looked at me and i put my hand up to ask something and he said “oh good i was going to pick on your because you were just sat there smiling” which i know i do i just can’t help it listening to him talk about his ideas and what he has to say makes me really happy. so yeah i asked what his favourite song in moana is and he got sooooooooo happy cos i know he loves that movie and he went on about it and was telling the other people who hadn’t seen it that they had to see it. he said there might be something cool happening next season, it’s not set in stone but if it happens it’s something he thinks everyone needs right now. and that something cool is gonna happen in the first part of the comic con panel and if there’s a livestream people should watch it. he asked who had travelled to be here and we said we were from england and he was like “where?” and we were like south west and he was like “but where?” and we were like bristol and he was like “but where?” and we were like farmer country and he talked about how he wants to move out of la eventually and go to oregon and set up a farm and be completely self sufficient food-wise and how he’s planted stuff in his garden and he really wants macklin to be surrounded by nature i thought that was so interesting and cute 

so then after that there were panels and tbh i can’t really remember a lot but so photos i got two pictures with matt i got a kiss on the cheek (in which my eyes are closed and i got to retake the day after) i still got a pic of it tho and i kinda prefer it but i didn’t like the print out of it i just like the photo of the print so probably still a good move and then i wanted a full body hug without my face in it and i had to show him a pic on my phone and my hands were shaking so much when i tried to open it he was like ‘you’re okay it’s okay’. like i fr don’t know what happened to me this con cos at asylum 16 i was so chill but he made me so nervous and emotional at this one??? it was so weird. but yeah so we did that and then i did my rich and he said he liked my outfit and i was rly surprised i was like ‘OH! thank you!” and we did judging faces at the camera and i got a hug with rob because i don’t have a photo with him at all so yay. 

then we got food and then did karaoke which was LIT we were second row and gil like posed for my camera (it’s my sister’s but i was taking the pics at that point) twice and rob smiled at us and matt gave us the mic during boulevard of broken dreams like and i was looking down and when i looked up at him he was already looking at me and smiling i wish i had taken pictures but it made me freeze up. but yeah i got some great photos 

day 4 we had our r2m pictures first and we gave them sunglasses and were like “pretend you’re cool” and rich was like “pretend????? we are cool” and we were like ok dude and then we were like so you know in kings on con when you’re in the cupboard and matt’s like “rich is right you’re fuck up rob we want you gone!!” can we do that and after we took it they were like that’s so good and then i had my matt retakes and i actually bought another one with him in the morning lmao whatever i’m trash i’ve accepted it and i got one of us holding hands too because my last one rogue didn’t INCLUDE OUR HANDS IN THE PIC WYD but yeah so that was that it was then just panels for the rest of the day for me my sister had some other pics with rich and gil but i was done. the panels were odd, the questions were kinda generic and i felt like rich was lowkey done lmao and like i don’t think some of the jokes landed with the audience idk it felt like a v different atmosphere to the crowds in england. but yeah i also wish people would ask matt more questions???? i feel like he barely gets asked anything at r2m panels and it makes me kinda sad lol cos he’s actually really smart and heartfelt i wish he had the chance to speak more.

but anyways autos happened and okay i felt really emotional i wrote out a letter for matt in the queue just basically thanking him for coming to conventions and his openess with the fans and like thanking him for using his platform in the way that he does and the way he’s so positive. i told him in it that i don’t actually watch the show anymore but i come to the cons because of him mainly it was stuff i wish i could say to him but i thought it would be more articulate if i wrote it down so. i felt like i knew i was gonna cry on him so i wanted to do his auto last to kinda prepare myself more but he didn’t have a queue so we had to do him first :) so we went i had him sign my photo and like i thanked him for coming and i handed it to him and i could see my hands shake and i like felt my face crumple and i welled up and i was like “sorry” and he was like “no don’t cry” and i was like “i don’t know why i’m crying sorry” and he was like “as long as they’re happy tears yeah” and i was like yeah and thanked him again and like while we queued for gil like i still felt myself tearing up i never actually cried but like i just felt on the verge for like the whole of gil and rich’s queue lmao and i like saw him read it while we were queuing and i was like oh god no i want to take it back no and so my sister got her gil auto and then we did rich’s and he said i photograph really well and that i’m a very pretty person and omg rich is just so calming like to be around??? like matt made me feel so like emotional this weekend and rich was just like so chill and calm. so then we did rob and i had him sign my photo and we talked to him about his concert on friday then i had him write out my tattoo for me and when i said what it was he smiled and he looked idk so genuine when he looked at me and thanked me for coming so then i um and ah over getting a second matt auto mainly because i didn’t want my last interaction with him to be crying on him but then i thought i still might cry on him again if i got another so i left it and we hung about.

so then matt finishes autos and he leaves the room, he looks at me and i waved bye to him and he like stopped and came over and said “i read your letter. thank you so much for doing that for me. I will definitely keep coming back to cons for you” and he said to my sister “i don’t know if you feel the same way” and she was like “she wouldn’t let me read it” which was true lmao and he said it was so sweet and he would be coming back and my sister said about asylum and he said he should be due for the one next year and that we had to pester wayne to get him rob and rich to come and then we hugged him and that was that. i’m so happy he did that it literally made my weekend. 

then the closing ceremony happened and gil sang music of the night and i died and yeah we all sang the musical version of carry on my wayward son it was sad and made me emo that was the last episode of supernatural that i actually watched so (bar matt’s most recent one). then we went to get food and my sister had to go up and get the ice cream sandwich she ordered and all the guests turned up we were like ffs and then they ordered and said bye when we left and then we waited like 10 mins before leaving cos we didn’t wanna look like we were following them lmao.

yeah i was a great weekend, it was kinda odd cos it didn’t actually feel like it was happening while it was??? and it doesn’t actually feel like it happened as i write this??? like i’m sad that it’s over but also in a hollow way????? but also matt’s friend on twitter screenshotted my tweets and matt liked the tweet so he saw me saying mark sheppard is a shady ass which is

so yeah day 5 we explored but we couldn’t really appreciate it cos it was fucking 31 degrees and then we flew home 

i have work tomorrow i don’t want to go i just want to lie in bed and be sad about matt not being my best friend. anyways that’s everything i think i love rich i love rob and i love matt very much i hope i get to see him again next year