#it breaks my fucking heart that half the people in my generation think the world isn’t able to be saved

[marsafter-dark]

Broke: the world is ending and we can’t do anything

Woke: the world is worth saving and we shouldn’t give up on it

Bespoke: the world is worth saving and writers can help by imagining a positive future and encouraging the society to hope again

[dairy-farmer]

Aaw D:> tumbr ate my first draft of this. But I persist!

Because? Consider! Ra's being a GENUINELY charismatic, manipulative Threat! Oh shit!

He can read you at a glance. Offer you your hearts desires. Money, power, vengeance, purpose. Don't you YEARN? Haven't they WRONGED you? The world is... so very UNFAIR, isn't it?

Don't you want to feel safe again?

Be strong?

Poisoned honey, spoken in a pleasing voice. Any mask for any job. Mentorly, seductive, fatherly, concern, whatever breaks your walls. Makes you TRUST him. He's been doing this for years. Centuries.

Bruce calls it a cult for a reason.

Never let him get into your head. Let him talk. Give no quarter or it's DONE. Bruce drilled it in to all of them. If you give even a sliver of the smallest scrap... he will take you for all you are worth and destroy you. Mould what remains however he pleases. Bruce himself, BARELY had the mental and emotional strength to escape.

And he's the most stubborn bastard alive.

But... but Bruce is GONE. Lost to the time stream. And no one believe Tim. Will listen. Yeah, he's not explaining himself that great. But he's upset, his brain has always moved faster then his mouth, it's... it's kinda a terrible combination. But that doesn't mean he's CRAZY!

Of all the shit they've seen! THIS is where you think things become impossible!? THIS is when you won't even check?! Fine. He'll go on his own.

Except he's not on his own.

Because Ra's either believes him... or has spotted his chance to strike.

Murmurs and drawling and croons in his ears. Like the devil whispering temptation as it leads him farther and farther from home. Tim's TRYING. Remembers what Bruce told him. Give him nothing. But... but every snapped reply, every short answer, is met with such... predatory amusement.

He's making a mistake.

He KNOWS he's making a mistake.

But Bruce is out there. He... he has to get him home. He can do this.

Then Tamara Fox is sent after him by her dad. He gets stabbed and loses an organ, nearly dies in the desert. Now there's a hostage and fucking spider assassins hunting Ra's cult of killers.

Ra's, who no longer seems amused.

He can't-... he HAS to do this. For Bruce. For Tam. For the people they've killed.

He manages. They invade. The stuff of nightmares. Honestly, fffffuck Ra's, he can handle himself. He's getting Tam and Pru out of here and blowing everything to kingdom come. Except... except... shit, the leader. Touch of death. He's so tired. Reflexes not what the should be, torso still too stiff from being TORN OPEN.

Weeks of jet lag, poor sleep, worse diet, and just generally spotty meal times, have taken their toll. His reaction time is off. Not by much. But enough to die by. And... and this is it. He IS going too...

THWUMP!

Staff. With the sort of deadly precision even weapon master's would consider unachievable. The sort that take lifetimes to achieve. So close, if he blinked, his eyelashes would sweep the weapon that just saved his life. The force behind that strike would shatter bone. The follow up, clearly meant to kill.

Ra's Al Ghul.

Tim is already jerking back and toward Tam. No time to observe. But... oh. Oh. He must look so... so CLUNKY with a staff in his hands, in Ra's eyes. The man moves like a rolling storm. All dark untouchable mist and deadly flashing light. Dances have been less elegant.

But that doesn't matter. It CAN'T.

He has to get out of here.

Tim leaves Ra's to either win or die. Flees with Tam and Pru. Pulls up his "fuck you, Ra's" program. And tries to get it going...

Shit.

Only half the bases blew.

A blow, yes. But not the "get fucked, now and forever" like he intended. At least the alarms behind him are sounding. So THIS one is gonna go. Rip in burning peices, ya spider fucks! (No one tell Bruce. It's been a long year okay?)

Except when has life EVER been kind or fair to Tim? Even once? ESPECIALLY this year? Ra's. Barely sweaty from his death match and ready for round two, just kicked open the hanger door behind them. Still in full armor. Still fully armed.

Tim doesn't even bother to calculate in his head.

They're fucked.

He slaps the evidence Bruce NEEDS to be rescued into Tam's arms. Tells her to get it to her father. Begs Pru to get her there. Tells them... to run.

Stands his ground.

He gets his ass beat like a drum. It's not even CLOSE. He's wounded, exhausted, and down to one weapon. Less trained then Ra's. And Ra's? Already warmed up, well rested, armed to the teeth and IN ARMOUR. Also probably pretty mad, what with Tim blowing up his bases.

He... he doesn't expect to wake up.

But he does.

Fancy guest room. The sort of guest not allowed to LEAVE, but still. Rich woods, fine fabrics, tasteful design. Ra's in an ornate, silken, open robe and loose low hanging lounge pants, sprawled out like a tiger as he casually sharpens a sword.

Subtle.

Captured then. He would have expected a dungeon after, you know, the whole "fuck you" base exploding. And Ra's? Doesn't even pause in his weapon maintenance as he calmly, in an almost musing voice, informs him that there's no NEED for THAT.

"Bases can be rebuilt. Rabble recollected."

"But you, Detective?"

What a glorious last stand~. Why, Tamara was it? He's quite sure Tamara is TEARFULLY recounting "your valiant final moments, even as we speak. You've done all the work to kill yourself, FOR me, Detective. I would be a fool not to take advantage of that."

He finally pauses, testing the edge of the blade. Pleased with it's sharpness.

Tim let's himself flop back down on the bed, refusing to wait for eye contact with those gemstone green eyes. So... what now? Torture? Brainwashing? Lectures on how awesome you are and how Tim should totally join you?

Of course not. Why would Ra's do THAT, when he has Tim right where he wants him? Tired, hurting, isolated. Mentally and emotionally exhausted. In other words... broken down. The world has done his job FOR him. Not, of course, that he'd ever SAY that. Why show your hand, after all?

So, no, no~

Now? You rest. Ra's brings you food. And if you want something? You'll have to trade for it.

Theeeere it is! Time called it. And WHAT, you creep, EXACTLY will he be expected to "trade"?

So suspicious! But, of course, he understands. Their's has hardly been a pleasant relationship, so far. Riddled with conflict. He simply wishes for conversation. For Tim to take care of himself. Allow RA'S to take care of him. After all, Ra's knows he would never allow him to help, otherwise.

.....right. "help".

Tim knows that's bullshit. He is trapped and this is a trap. Some form of conditioning. A fostering of dependence, maybe. He refuses to fall for it. Ignores Ra's, turns over, and pretends to go back to bed.

Ra's just hums, amused.

Because... sure enough? For all that Ra's oh so helpfully furnished "his" room with books and art supplies? Non-technological amusements? He can only ignore the only other person in the room for some many days. Can only stew in his "what ifs" and not knows for so long.

Damn it.

So he trades. Cagey and suspicious, looking for traps in every bit of wording and every action. Just as Ra's knew he would. Slowly exhausting himself. Just as Ra's knew he would. Hyper-vigilance taking it's brutal, chipping toll.

Just as Ra's knew it would~.

He asks only you eat this lovely snack you will enjoy. Take a nap, as look so tired. Allow him to massage those worn, long abused muscles. Wash the unmanageable curls of your hair. A conversation, perhaps, on that topic you love so much. You are quite knowledgeable.

And... and damn it. The body? Straight out refuses to stay vigilante forever. Especially when there appears to be no threat. When things are soft and soothing. It starts to slip through his fingers like sand. He keeps catching himself. Forgetting. Catching himself again.

Ra's has such... such a soothing voice, when he wishes too. Like rich cologne on a winter's coat, wrapping you in a masculine warmth against the cold. Strong, deadly hands. Unfairly good as they gently cradle his head, run fancy soaps and scented oils through his hair. Untwist the mess his muscles have become.

Like... like he's on some sort of high end vacation.

Or some pampered pet.

He's actually back to a healthy weight. He doesn't look like a disaster survivor.. and he just... just...

He has to get out of here. Soon. I-It's so comfortable. Soothing. Like sinking into warm honey, it clings. He just... there's this growing part of him that wants... because... because, yeah. Yeah, maybe he IS tired. Maybe it WOULD be nice. To stay. To be taken care off. Pampered.

But he CAN'T.

He has to get out.

So he confronts Ra's. What's it gonna take? Hopefully. This will blow up. A fight maybe. Something to give him some ANGER. Anything but this damn comfort and softness. It's sapping his will to fight. But of course not. Ra's has got him read like a learning letters pamphlet.

Of COURSE Ra's will let him go~!

...if Tim does... one little thing for him...

Those fucking TRADES. And this is it, he can feel it. Trap already sprung and now comes the moment to either gnaw off his own leg or be captured. Ra's looks so unbearably pleased. Victorious in his machinations and now reaping his reward. Tim wants to break his stupid smug face. But that will get him nowhere.

What.

What is the God damned trade.

Oh~ Just a moment of your time. Allow Ra's a taste of the feast you so vigilantly gaurd against him. He spreads his arms, elegant, white teeth flashing like a damn shark. The very picture of a wealthy, powerful, scoundrel. Promises in a low purr to behave.

The part of his brain that lights up when he's about to do something stupid, practically explodes from his head just to beat him to death. Sings the song of ten thousand klaxons. Oh... oh this is so PROFOUNDLY stupid there are are no words. Is possibly THE WORST idea.

He still... agrees.

Watchs Ra's not so much stand, as rise to his feet. Fluid and controlled. Letting his robe slide from his shoulders in an easy roll, to fall into a pool on the ground. The sword is set aside. Ra's focus on him. Undivided. It... it should not be MORE terrifying, unarmed and in just pants, then armed and in full armor. And yet...

Tim's mouth feels bone dry. Mistake. Mistaaaake....

He feels hunted. There aren't even that many steps, to cross the room. Yet he's shifted, distinctly, from a stride to a prowl. Tim feels absolutely no shame in backing up. Trying to gather his thoughts.

Ra's doesn't give him the chance.

Before Tim can even full register more then "too close!", a powerful hand is sliding through his hair to cradle is head, an arm like steel wrapping around his waist. He's pulled into an overwhelming kiss.

He brain stops.

The taste of Chai and a commanding mouth, overwhelm him. Steal his air. Tease and focus his attention. He's manhandled back onto the bed. A hand trails down Tim's body, another reaching up to wrench one of the pillows free of the pile. A possessive mouth slowly meanders down his body.

Kisses, sucked marks, teeth lined tastes of skin.

His hands grip like they want to imprint themselves. Leave permanent marks. Are trying, very, very hard not too. Not yet at least.

Not even divine intervention could save his shorts, Ra's rips them. Guides a pillow under his lower back. Tim has all of a second to be confused before everything Iights up. He chokes on a squeak.

The rumbling laugh Ra's makes does NOT help. Powerful hands holding him in place, keeping him from escaping the... the hot and wet! Tim writhes. It not the first time someone's eaten him out. But... but! It didn't feel like this! Was teammates and just fooling around. Not practiced seduction and centuries of skill.

His legs are already shaking. He's gasping for air. Trying to buck his hips closer to that magnificent feeling, trying to get away from how overwhelming it feels. Clenching his fists in the sheets. Whining like he's wounded.

It's PERFECT. Ra's KNEW he'd be weak to pleasure.

Knew his Detective was worth the wait.

Rolls and teases his tounge down, just a bit. Brings calloused fingers into play. To drive his Detective mad. Tease his sensitive little gem, while he plunders deep and cruelly with his tounge.

It's delightful. Watching him come apart. Again and again. First on his tounge alone, then joined by his fingers. Finding the places he KNOWS his Detective his most sensitive, and rubbing, stroking, teasing without mercy or relent.

Until even that magnificently stubborn boy, is a teary, drooling, red faced mess. Thighs painted with his pleasure. Limbs weak and trembling. So BEAUTIFULLY compliant and needy. Reliant on Ra's for everything. Craving his warmth. His care.

Head empty of those ever rushing thoughts.

He, of course, keeps his word. Let's Tim go. Back to the real world. Too the cruelties man does to man. Too being unappreciated. Tired and overworked. Too an empty, uncomfortable bed. A poor diet. The judgments of so called friends.

Hmmm~ Ra's wonders~ how long will it take?

Before the world does his job for him? Again. Before his Detective is tired. Sore. Lonely. Worn down and in need of care. Of a little... pleasure. A warm body to hold him in the night. Companionship IS vital to a healthy human mind and body, after all. Ra's can be a "friend". A lover. Whatever works, really.

He has time.

And Tim? Tim made the mistake of letting him in.

-🐼🐼🐼

ra's being MASSIVELY charismatic, having an effect that just lulls people into wanting to follow and obey him makes a lot of sense honestly! especially since for the most part the situtation given is that people follow ra's more out of admiration for his power/control of the lazarus pits and that's really it. ra's being incredibly charismatic and inspriring the fanatical loyalty that cults exhibit is soo good!

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Mabel Martin (Mabel):

the girl half-burning!!! the bitch queen of hell!!! dead girl walking!!! rot-hearted girl!!!! consort to king anna limon!!!! lesbian icon!!!!

Who is doing it like Mabel Martin? No one. She's a lesbian. She is the lamb, and the knife. She is so loved that god herself tore a hole between worlds to find her again. She tore out her own veins to bargain with the house that holds her. She is the girl half-burning, she kept a bullet that came out of her (it was hers. she birthed it), she is the Labyrinth. And she is the Minotaur.

a vote for Mabel is a vote for insane codependent lesbians everywhere 👍 also for women with large noses (the hottest of women)

Hera (Wolf 359):

I don't care if she's an AI with no physical form, she is HOT

my digital wife <3

oh it's always "i want a hot computergirl with poor cable management to glitch on my shit" and "i want to fuck her until she bluescreens" on this website until it's time to put your money where your mouth is. i have a post about usb penetration with tens of thousands of notes. i see the things you all say. you have a hot computergirl in front of you and this is how you all repay her? you would abandon her? prove yourselves as the computer sex website; vote for hera NOW!!!

"everyone voting Hera in this round is doing it strictly because she is an AI" WRONG. INCORRECT. everyone voting for hera is doing it because she's funny and thoughtful and passionate and wears her heart on her sleeve despite all of the times people have let her down. because she's anti-authority, and that's sexy. it's sexy that she's an AI because the way she navigates being a woman in that context is inherently transgender, and THAT'S sexy, but on its own? not even like, top five most relevant things about her. self-determination? that's sexy.

VOTE FOR HERA. i'm not done. i've made the case that she would want this more, and that's true, but you should also want her. the propaganda says she doesn't have a physical form - in one sense, that's true, but she DOES have an internal self-image and the desire for physicality. most of the physical sensations she's experienced so far have been painful - think of what you could do for her. she has human desire without the means to act on it. she's the most touch starved anyone has ever been. making love to someone who can't be touched by conventional means IS inherently sexy and it IS a win for disabled trans women everywhere.

she's passionate and kind of emotionally unstable and fiercely loyal - "officer eiffel? he's your deadman's switch. if you let him die, or if you do anything that doesn't fall under the category of do no harm, i will go off. i will rain acid on your ass. i will crank the temperature in the room so high that your skin will crack, and bubble, and burn. i will vent you into space through a hole the size of a quarter. and if i am feeling very, very generous, i won't do all those things slowly." like come on!! what more do you want!!

VOTE FOR HERA. my final, last-minute appeal: her character arc is fundamentally about identity, autonomy, and being seen the way she wants to be seen. the way she navigates her identity as a woman in this context is inherently transgender, and that IS sexy. she's funny, she's passionate, she's sweet, she's been let down repeatedly by almost everyone she's ever met and she still opens her heart to people because she so badly craves connection. she's frustrated, touch starved, and pent up, and was initially rejected from service because of her impulsive, emotional, unorthodox way of thinking. i have so much more i could say on her behalf, but this IS a contest of sex appeal. thinking outside the box, breaking rules, and reaching beyond the limitations of her own form is so central to who she is. hera could come up with freak shit beyond the comprehension of the average person, and she IS enthusiastic enough to make it work.

Art of Mabel from @kayleerowena.

[stone-stars]

welllll since you're offering to talk about naddpod music, would you mind talking a little about the uses and stuff of Meemaw's Burden? :3 nbd if not, but if it sparks your fancy, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

oh god mee maw's burden. anon. my dear friend. you have no idea how insane uses of this song make me.

okay. so lemme start by saying that mee maw's is only used in bahumia (c1/c3). i think about this choice fucking constantly. you'll discover why shortly.

i'm not going to list out every mee maw's burden use. i could. but i'm not going to. instead, i'm going to point at the fact that the song is called mee maw's burden. we first hear it when mee maw reveals that she's got crick rot to moonshine, and that she's been hiding it from everyone.

and like. jolene is a druid who will live for hundreds and hundreds of years. and lose so many people. she's the matriarch of the crick. she's carrying this so that others don't have to be burdened by it.

and... that's kind of what mee maw's burden is used for. the burden of the living. the burden of the parent. the ones who take things on so that others don't have to. it's... bev sr selling his soul to hell. beverly seeing erlin dead. telaine learning about melora, and breaking down at the end of the fight. "how long do half elves live". calder asking ultrus to make a deal with him.

it's-- mee maw's burden is... living. living when others don't. accepting heavy loads so that others can live on. knowing that you might not, and knowing that you're okay with that. being strong in the face of it, because you have to.

oh! that note i made. about why it not being used in c2 is insane to me. it's because in c2, there's the cycle. of rebirth and reincarnation. the relationship to death and lifespans is different. so... of course it's not used in c2. and of course it is used throughout c1/c3.

also! a fun thing i like to point out is that if you listen to mee maw's burden, and then listen to the song that plays as the boobs talk to melora at the heart of the world in 97 (9:44 in the ad free version), you will notice that the start of the melora song is a variant on mee maw's. enjoy that knowledge. yes, this is the "what an honor, what an injustice" song.

(and, because i'm insane. i did do that thing i said i wasn't gonna do)

campaign 1 uses: (25) mee maw reveals her crick rot (38) joris explains he helped akarot for the sake of the dwarphanage because no one cares about dwarphans (39) jaina and hardwon talk about how they failed gemma (51) the chosen kill everyone at the crick in a flashback (58) bev sr. admits to selling his soul (70) bev finds the field guide on how to defeat his dad (73) bev goes down at akarot's hand (80) bev's flashback to the execution in hell (87) erlin almost has to choose between healing bev and saving red (88) bev sees erlin dead and revivifies him (89) bev and erlin talk about pelor's death (90) bev and egwene talk about erlin being taken (92) moonshine sees pendergreens and paw paw after dying (96) both moonshine telling telaine about melora and telaine breaking down at the end of the fight (98) both pestilence killing balnor and bev defeating qwiksus (99) both telling lucanus about erdan and, of course, "how long do half-elves live"

campaign 3 uses: (7) callie tells the others about her past with stealing the egg and giving it to glen (11) beatrix tells duck team that she's the last of the ruby scale and her dragon has been killed (27) callie goes down in the king durretar fight / king durretar gets his breath weapon back / big bev also goes down / generally shit being real bad in that fight (29) do i need. do i need to tell you when in crown of dreams this is used? (it's calder making a deal with ultrus. it was never not going to be that.) (32) callie disobeys the worm and takes a bunch of damage in order to save hardwon (54) gowan learns about gregor, and tells calder that he can't help because he left and isn't a ranger. "please. we've already lost enough. do not put yourself in a position where i lose another brother."

[moonbreeze19]

we were too close to the stars i never knew somebody like you, somebody falling just as hard - reflections

alarin tumblr debut?? for tsme week?? i think so i think yes! u can consider this a late day 6 post or day 7 i suppose, whatever u prefer!

(in summary: my oc, rin, and alain, have lived in my head rent free for 3 years now. they mean the world to me. i love them. to me, they are THE it couple <3)

details/about them below the break

rin yukino is a hyper competitive trainer with a (shiny) mega gardevoir, goal focused and independent to the point of flaw. born and raised in kalos, but with family from sinnoh, she had spent much of her childhood fitting into her parent's mold for a perfect daughter. she was a straight-a student, principal violinist, preparing to attend a top university - at 18, she realized that wasn't who she wanted to be anymore. she became a pokemon trainer instead.

(somewhat unimportantly, her usual trainer design consists of teal highlights in her hair, orange earrings shaped like the heart that goes through a mega gardevoir's chest, and a lot of black and gray. she matches diva, her gardevoir, like alain matches his charizard. they're both extra like that.)

she meets alain viard when they're both 22, shortly after the events of TSME act 4. she's on the gym challenge, and he's... alain. they battle, and he wins. twice in a row. then they go from rivals to rivals with benefits, then maybe even friends if they weren't both so emotionally reclusive i mean haha what-

alarin, aka rin "i'm stronger on my own" yukino and alain "i only destroy those around me" viard

even if he's won both times, alain can't help but be attracted one of the few people who can keep up with him, who cares about winning nearly as much as he does, who treats pokemon battling like it's all she has. he knows the feeling. he thinks she might understand him.

she's half of the reason behind both his decision to fill out his team beyond charizard and his decision to challenge the gyms

when they fall apart, just a month before the team flare crisis, i like to think of them like a supernova. short lived but bright and brilliant. doomed from the start.

the details of their falling out are complicated, so we'd be here all day if i tried to explain.

rin fails to stand by him during the fight against lysandre. she doesn't have the courage to. but she does, however, find him in the aftermath. she helps him heal and pick up the broken pieces. that's where 99% of their relationship really comes from.

i filter them into the category titled "couples written by taylor swift's the great war" and if you know you know

because it's important to me, rin gets along great with mairin.

at first she's a bit annoyed by her over-enthusiasm. rin is cold, blunt, realistic, and introverted, mairin is the opposite of all of those things. but once she sees how much mairin means to alain she does a full 180

and mairin's only ever had older brothers (both in her biological family and in alain), so having rin around to show her how to do her hair, her makeup, AND annoy the hell out of alain when appropriate is her favorite thing ever.

they are very good at bullying alain into taking care of himself (because he is very bad at that, as we all know.)

eventually, rin will go on to become one of the kalos elite four, after malva gets arrested (for being Very Fucking Evil).

one of my favorite things ever to think about is how the random internet people would claim "rin is only with alain to try and get famous" (and also make lengthy twitter/x callout threads on how alain is a problematic person because of his team flare involvement, and therefore decently-well-known league challenger rin yukino is also problematic by proxy), only for alain to generally avoid the public spotlight (there are lots of headcanons here. in short, he goes to university) and rin to be hired as elite four. and then she becomes far more famous as a result. and then the internet trolls are like "...oh." and a majority of the general population doesn't even know she and alain are a thing, because it's only obvious if you scrolled intensely through her instagram account.

i don't know why alarin getting stupid hate threads on twitter/x is the funniest thing to me but it really, really is!!

the internet is convinced alarin is a manipulative ploy on rin's end and one day she reads one of the twitter threads making all these claims about what she's done and she just goes "bitch i did what" and finds it absolutely hilarious

ANYWAYS that is all for now!! this post is so long and this is barely scratching the surface?? they mean so much to me i'm so sorry 😭😭

if literally anybody ever wants to hear about them i will share more. i would cry happy tears.

thank you so much for reading this if you did!! i'm so glad i got to share them for tsme week!

[agent-8449]

Agent Logos CJverse chatroom summary.... REAL!!!!

Clears throat. This may be a long post, be warned. Actually, yeah. Bwoink.

The OG AU: Voice of Reason

Whole: Dead as fuck. Sort of. Way before the events of the comic, their Whole 'died'. We refer to not-dead Whole OOCly as 'Hope', but he also sort of exists afterwards as a figment of himself-- the 'shadow' called Cast. Cast can only speak in song lyrics, and currently resides in... the TMAverse, as a cursed item. Woaw.

Heart: Would kill you if you called him Heart. Ozzy/Oz/Ozymandias is a real piece of work. Sourceless guilt incarnate, magically influenced by a cursed mirror to eat it, in a symbolic attempt to erase himself. He's so chill. So fine. So cool. Definitely not so close to collapsing at all times. Got glasses though.

Mind: Tinker/Ulysses. So violently soggy, but hides it under his inexplicable British accent and polite demeanour. Made the transmitters that allow Thirds to traverse between their Surrealities. He half-regrets this. The only one of the three fully aware that Cast is an actual sentient guy. Hid his Soul's trident in his hand after the comic, and so that hole is very much still there <he's 'fixing' it atm...>

Soul: Coda. Coba. Coba Cola. What a disaster. After the comic, it <he/it> was kept in his room as much as possible. Then Oz left, and he completely lost it. It was a big storyline, so feel free to ask about it. Coda is really fun because he's not sane

Me-only AU 2: The Negatives

Whole: Eris... also known as Chase. The Negatives are a sort of "reversal of personality". Eris is a shitty content farm-making YouTuber, and generally hates this too. He also has to deal with the Cold War he sort of constructed with his own Thirds. He remembers what his Thirds do, which is good because he split <past tense> often... like. Every day. They called it 'shifts'. Yeah.

Heart: Phobos, ahhhhh my horrible boy Phobos. Personification of egoism, self-aggrandization, imagination, and intrusive thoughts. Green. Mean. A bitch and a half. Generally sadistic. The de-facto leader of the Negative Thirds. Wears crocs. Idolises Whole.

Mind: Deimos. That is all. Personification of logic, reasoning, and thinking ahead. He is also an absolute goon and pushover. All too happy to be Phobos' lackey.

Soul: Nemesis, though he hates that nickname. Personification of 'cringe culture', self-doubt, second-hand embarassment, and critical thinking. Basically ignored by the other two. Does all the work in the Vessel. Clinically annoyed by everything all the time. Very spiteful.

ASSORTED GUYS <from co-op AUs>:

Allen: Soul from Voib, Andy, Shade and I's AI AU, also known as Reification Initiative: Apotheosis. Yeah I came up with that. My bad. Allen is shitty. So very shitty. Ran away. That's all I can say for now.

Valentine: Heart from WAAAILSSSSSS IT'S ONLY ME BUT HIS COUNTERPARTS ARE ALL DEAAAAD. The Bachelor AU, a 'Lonely' AU. He is trying to live his life now that he fucked up and he's alone. He committed arson. He has to go to government-mandated therapy. He is beloved.

Nyx: Whole from Xanadu AU. Haven't done much with him, but he's in space, and he's an idiot.

Vlinder: :>

Thyme: Mind from the Aonaran/Apocalypse AU. The world ended. It be like that sometimes. And the stress got to their Whole. Thyme killed multiple people.

Pursuit: Heart (2) from Voib's Labyrinths AU. He is big kitty cat lad. Does eat people. Tries to maintain the status quo. Genuinely satisfied with the state of things.

Magna: Mind from Demersal AU. Basically, he got pitted instead of Heart for being a delusional little shit. He did not get any less delusional. Conspiracy nut, drowning 1/4th of the time, and generally horrible person.

Brevity: Soul from Voib and I's Syncopation AU. Olde Mann. No legs, they froze off. He is not mentally well at all, but he's got to keep it together if he wants to continue being 'him'.

Crawl: Heart from the Asides AU. Fourth-wall breaking eldritch horror. Collector of things. Collector of extinct things. Full name 'Crawl of the Horizon'.

"Quinn": Soul from Good Day. Very new AU with me, Voib, Q-ott, and Ledge <@/nitroish>. Meant to be close to album guys. He's denying his halves exist and matter atm.

There you go! Not including the alternate timelines because jesus christ

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Almost 3am and I physically cannot stop thinking about dark fluffy fae AU’s

Fae au… save me.. Fae au Save me fae au

I have decided that this is my chance to ramble about all the fae WIPS I have noted down so read all that under the break! It’s very very long so enjoy!

First concept is Phil being vaguely magic and then falling in love with Kristin and them having 3 half fae children who are just weird and wonderful.

They’re not human so they don’t entirely understand things (which can lead to them just being fucked up sometimes) but they still go out and spread their magic.

Techno toys with crops, using his gifts of magic for both good and evil while Wilbur weaved his own magic into his words and form. He can convince anyone of anything if he works hard enough.

Tommy would be a chaotic bundle that just shoots out spells at random, causing mayhem wherever he goes.

Another concept is a fairy au where the seelie have butterfly wings while unseelie have either moth or other insect wings I can’t decide. Techno, a seelie Prince, is given off to the other court as a sign of good will.

From my silly little notes he basically has to put off a massive performance for them to save his branch of the fae family tree. Problem is his parents are assholes.

Obviously shenanigans ensue where Wilbur decides to scope out this other Prince and ends up deciding that he’s brother materiel.

Queue him using a bit of madness magic to make Techno go a bit off his rocker and begin to get violent. It all would end in the big performance where he dances and dances and by the time he’s done he realises he killed all the others and then gets adopted.

I also have another AU where fae!Wilbur is pushed into having his own circle far too young and ends up trapped in a deal with human!SBI because of it.

General vibes of that one is that he’s way too young to be making deals of that kind but he gets forced into it anyway and now he has to try and trick people.

Techno comes across him since they set Wilbur up in the palace garden and immediately spots how bad he is at being a fae after Wil fails horribly at tricking him.

Obviously since Techno is incapable of being normal he starts to obsess because Wil took a similar appearance to him since he was the first person he saw. He’s ofc very very interested and now keeps visiting him.

Eventually after a bunch of visits Techno figures out Wils name and steals him away. He reassured Wil that he doesn’t wanna actually do anything bad, he just kinda wants to keep him as a brother and Wil can’t decide if that’s better or worse.

Ofc Techno has to show his new surprise brother to the rest of the family and they’re all not normal about it at all. Phil is probably like “aww what do you have there?” as if Techno didn’t just bring a magical fucking being into the castle.

They bind him in more deals probably. I think Wil would try and be like “I’ll give you whatever you want just let me go” and parentsduo try and let him down softly that he’s literally never going back to the fae realm.

And now I must reveal to you my Sweeter Than Honey brainrot that I hoard away.

First one is very very soft. It’s just a vague outline of Phil deciding to teach Techno how to bake and it’s everything Tech deserves and more. That boy deserves the absolute world.

There’s a small bump in the road where he’s not careful and kinda burns himself but it heals very quickly and he gets cuddles in the nest for it.

My next 2 centre around parties because I think fae have lots of them.

Yet again we have another silly one. It’s the first party that they’ve really had after Techno became a fae and he ends up getting swooped up between different groups of fae. He actually does end up making a few genuine friends and it’s yet again everything he deserves.

He heads out into a garden area with his new besties for a bit and forgets how bad the Prince going missing looks and comes back to Phil freaking out.

After the old man is done having a heart attack it’s time to wrap up and he gets excited to see his friends again sometime soon. He gets all tucked into the nest and dozes off a bit before Phil / Kristin ask him if he enjoyed it.

He kinda mumbles that it’s the first time he’s ever enjoyed a party and thanks them for bringing him to it. He gets a little kiss on the head and falls back asleep.

My final one and what I think is my fav from my STH brainrot chronicles is this one. It’s based off an ask where lenn explained that the masks on the ferry would turn the wearer into the animal it presented.

I think you all know where this is going.

So by now his wings are more grown in, maybe it’s an anniversary of his yoinking who knows, and they’re celebrating on the ferry that brought him over to fae lands as a symbolism thing.

Technos exploring the ship again since it’s changed up appearance a little and ends up finding the mask room again. He makes not the smartest decision and decides to try on a pig mask.

Ofc he turns into a pig and then shenanigans ensue. Probably Bad and Skeppy figuring out that Techno is now a pig and instead of telling Kristin and Phil they kinda just chase him around. It’s a whole situation.

Either way parentsduo figure out that their kid is missing. Again. They flip their shit but try to keep it on the downlow a little. For now.

Obviously they eventually spot Skeppy and Bad chasing around a pig on the boat and connect the dots. They kinda fawn over pignoblade for a while before Kristin reverses the spell.

Fun thing about the ferry though is that it has a sense of humour. One that carries into its magic as well. This apparently includes having Techno keep some of those pig features even after the spell.

He gets some pointy ears, tusks and a tail for his troubles and ends up a bit self conscious about it. Since he feels dumb for falling for the mask and also now he has all these pig features.

Kristin and Phil obviously won’t allow that and let him know just how cute they think his new features are. He feels a bit better after they maybe imitate the traits onto themselves as well.

After that they return to the nest and he falls asleep with his little tail wagging because that’s what he deserves.

I also have a vague idea for a Wilbur centric fae fic but that’s long and I’ve spent like 30 mins just rambling on this post already.

If there’s weird spellings, words or autocorrect then I’m sorry I literally typed this all on phone. I will maybe probably go fix it later if I remember.

Until then, enjoy my delusions o7

[smutdefender]

Welcome to Night Court

A fanfic by ArielWasReal

Summary:

(hey, remember the hit tv show Night Court from the ‘80s? This entire thing is a pun off that title. It’s court, but at ~night~)

Elain has taken a job at Velaris Co. Courthouse as their newest night shift court reporter. The perks are great, the hours mean that she can go to school during the day, and the bailiff isn’t half bad on the eyes. Unfortunately she’s got a not-so-secret admirer, and a brother-in-law hell bent on calling everyone to order - even if he can rarely have it in his court room.

A fun little romp with some heart and eventual steam.

————————————————————————

“It’s the least I can do to for someone on their first day. Here,” he said, pulling a pen from his pocket and grabbing a napkin from the dispenser to scrawl on “is my phone number. Just in case you need anything.” He held out the paper to her as she neatly plucked it from his hands. With her head still ducked, Azriel made his way to the exit.

“Thank you!” Elain called to him as he left. He turned on his heel to throw a small smile back at her.

“Of course. Welcome to the Night Court, Elain.”

Chapter 1 - invisible string

The break room was silent - apart from the constant hum of the fridge, clack of heels, clicking of keyboards, and distance toilet flushes that made up the symphony of the administration wing. It was supposed to be silent. A place to think ones thoughts and numb your brain with stale coffee and chips. Only now instead of just one person and his thoughts, two people stood awkwardly facing each other as they entered from doors on either side of the room. Their eyes clashed together with the mortification of taking a state-mandated 15 minute break at the same time. Blushing, Azriel quickly ducked his head, cleared his throat, and executed an evasive maneuver to the staff vending machine that he had perfected over the past ten years of working in the courthouse.

He knew everyone and everything in it. Was used to the steely tones of the state public defender reaming the solicitor general out while Rhys called for order. Was accustomed to seeing his chief clerk - and wife to the judge - Feyre running around with pencils sticking out of her hair at odd angles, keeping law school clerks and interns in line. Hell, even walking the support magistrate, Mor, to her car just in case some angry deadbeat decided to take his bad decisions out on her had gotten stale.

What he wasn’t used to was the girl now sitting at the linoleum table, awkwardly clutching a pre-mixed salad. It didn’t take someone with a military background and ten years as a bailiff to clock the way her eyes darted every few seconds to the utensil dispenser behind him, psyching herself up to grab around him but then deciding against it. He couldn’t blame her. Through the corner of his eyes he took in her petite frame. She’d barely come up to his chin - and god her arms - he could probably fit her thin bicep within his thumb and ring finger. He needed to stop staring. He needed to break this unending silence. He needed to not be so fucking awkward and make conversation with the pretty new girl so she wasn’t scared.

Suddenly a quiet voice squeaked out “I’m so sorry to bother you but I need to grab a fork.”

Azriel started - totally unaware that the little mouse of a girl had somehow snuck up behind him and gathered her courage to take on the big bad brute hogging her space. He forced a soft smile onto his face and let her pass by to grab her utensils. Now within a breath’s distance he could finally get a good look at her as she gave him a bemused smile of thanks.

“My name is Elain, by the way...”

For the first time he truly looked into her honey brown eyes and felt something shift in the world. Not monumentally, but in his chest he felt less… tired. “Hello, Elain” he breathed. “What’s yours?” She asked, politely sitting down and nervously stabbing her innocent lettuce.

“My?”

“Your name. I tried to study the staff directory as best I could but I didn’t have any pictures to place names to faces.” She scrunched her nose, and seemed almost embarrassed. He smiled, thinking of her studying for her first day like an exam. He opened his mouth to give her his name when she interrupted -

“Wait no - let me guess. I think I can figure it out” snapping his mouth shut, he dutifully gestured for her to continue. “Full disclosure, I do know a few people here from the outside world, so it might be cheating. Mor and Amren I just met. So you’re either Nuala, Cerridwen, Cassian or Azriel.” At the sound of his name he felt his temples ache from unused smile lines starting to re-form. “Cassian’s job is to liaise with the community so he wouldn’t be in a uniform - and you don’t look like a clerk to me.”

Azriel cocked his head “What does a clerk look like?”

“More pencils, less handcuffs.” Elain deadpanned “So my guess is that it’s a pleasure to meet you, Azriel.” At his small nod, she broke out into a full smile, returning to her reign of terror over the salad. Returning her smile, he moved to sit across from her “So, what brought you here? Not many people want to work in court, let alone at night.”

As he asked, he tried to figure out how the woman sitting across from him in her relaxed pantsuit and floral headband got suckered into taking such a dreary shift. The frightening cases, the workload, the irritable people, and the fact that he rarely got to see daylight seemed so foreign to the ray of sunshine sitting across from him.

“I’m living with my sister who works second shift and I have quick fingers - so court reporter fit nicely.” She gave a playful wiggle of her fingers “it seemed good to be useful if she was going to wake me up at all odd hours anyways”

“Idle hands, and all that?” He felt himself sink into his chair, his stiff back unlocking as he let the adrenaline of a first introduction recede.

A ghost of a shadow passed over her face, almost too quick to catch “something like that - yeah. What about you? How long have you been nocturnal?”

Azriel glanced at the clock - he still had five minutes left - he wished he had five hours. His voice went flat as he answered “Almost a decade.” Elain blinked “But you don’t look much older than I am.”

“No, I’m probably not - I just turned 35. I went into the military right out of high school, and planned to stay in for a while” he cleared his throat, trying to make his next words as light and casual as possible “- but then my mom passed and I came home to see my brothers, and never left. I didn’t want them to be alone without her. She was the best part of our lives.” He had no clue why all of this had slipped out, unbidden. His normal answer of “high school drop-out” had tasted like ash when it tried to escape his mouth. He rarely talked about his family, much less the painful parts of his life - the failures that kept him stagnate. The people he had lost. He moved to get up - to walk away from this conversation that had spun wildly into the realm of intimacy.

But just as he tensed, Elain spoke. “She must have been wonderful. It sounds like you are making her proud.” Color bloomed high on his cheeks at the compliment. He let his lips quirk up into a rueful half smile, “Thank you.”

A moment of awkward silence passed between them as they breathed and sat, both in their uncomfortable chairs, and felt stillness ebb around them. Elain breathed in once - twice - and then leaned across the table to put her small hand on his larger one. It was an effort for Azriel to not pull away. He wasn’t used to being touched with care - and feared the scars on his hands would scare her. But she simply traced patterns on the back of his knuckles, eventually raising her eyes to his.

“I lost a parent - my dad - too. Maybe we should start a club”

“We can hold weekly meetings and commiserate with those 3 year old Milky Way bars” he said, jerking his chin back to the vending machine.

“You can take president, if I can take secretary”

“Done.” He turned his hand over and captured hers in a firm handshake. “I’ll see you at the worlds dullest gathering at 7:00pm sharp.”

Elain let her eyes crinkle, trying to maintain composure “I’ll bring refreshments. I hope you like baked goods because that is as close to catering as you’ll get.” Azriel’s smile reflected hers “Couldn’t dream of anything better.” In his mind he marveled at how quickly she had brought the conversation back to a place of comfort. This was a woman who could use her words like a lasso. He was more than happy to be pulled in.

Until, of course, his phone alarm started blaring - signaling the end of their break… and the beginning of 4 more hours of nothingness. Elain started at the sound of the phone, giving a small squeak of alarm before settling with her hand over her heart.

“God, I almost jumped out of my skin” she huffed out a laugh of relief, happy to feel her heart slow. Azriel gathered her trash and the corpse of her leftover salad from the table. As she started to protest, he simply shook his head and said “It’s the least I can do to for someone on their first day.”

“Here,” he said, pulling a pen from his pocket and grabbing a napkin from the dispenser to scrawl on “is my phone number. Just in case you need anything.” He held out the paper to her as she neatly plucked it from his hands and created a contact in her phone. With her head still ducked, Azriel made his way to the exit.

“Thank you!” Elain called to him as he left. He turned on his heel to throw a small smile back at her.

“Of course. Welcome to the Night Court, Elain.”

[moorishflower]

hi!! im absolutely astounded at the amount of depth and heart thats in all your fics, and im also very floored at the amount at which you write—im at a cross between admiration and maybe jealously lol!! I wanted to ask, are there any fic of yours (sandman or not) that you think are underrated/deserves more attention?? super excited for everything you ever write!!

asdfg anon thank you <3 So I have a Problem where I have a lot of anxiety about what I create, and when that's writing, if I am not writing The Next Great Novel, then I need to sate the brain demons SOMEHOW, and writing a LOT is the easiest way to do that. I want very badly to please people, and fortunately it's not a hardship for me to write the amount that i do, though I AM trying to consciously like. Take breaks if I need? Take a night off? Keep it healthy looool. But that I'm able to write things that people are consistently finding value and meaning in is a continuous and beautiful marvel to me so thank you, thank you very much!!!

So I read your second part of the ask wrong at first and had gathered uh several fics which I think are underrated that are NOT mine

One Half of a Whole by @violetequus8 - Absolutely REMARKABLE post-apocalyptic literature. Equus captures an entire world and history in 4000 words. There are sentences in this fic that rewrote my brain chemistry.

The entire like this slumber that creeps to me series by @tobrokenstone - THIS. This is survival the way I fucking LOVE IT. Bleak, stark, hard decisions, lasting consequences, surprisingly tender cannibalism (this last may be...specific to me and a few select others lol)

Once again repping the point-set-triangulation series by therm0dynamics, which is singlehandedly the series that got me into Hob/The Corinthian (it's about MIRRORS it's about PARALLELS)

And at this point I realized that you'd asked about which of MY fics I think are underrated, and I was just so caught up in the thought of repping my friends that I lived in a world where I did not write for a moment loool

Salt and Rye is the result of a prompt on tumblr. I wanted to try and capture that feeling of recreating a parent or grandparent's recipe and failing, because it's SUCH a disheartening moment, but I wanted to make it lighter, because Hob has someone there to share the comedy of it with him.

Here there be dragons is my latest fic in the Siren AU and I do think that people who aren't into scifi in general will be more likely to give it a pass, but I'm very proud of it, and very proud of the emotions it evoked in ME, and I promise it's not hard scifi like The Martian or even really pervasive scifi like Star Trek! I just tried to think realistically about what our planet would look like and feel like in 1500 years, and how we might need to leave it. Also, Dream's still a carnivorous octopus man.

an act of faith is the vampire fever dream that struck me at like 3pm on a Saturday and I blacked out for like two hours and this was what I'd written during that time. I enjoy writing obscene levels of devotion and you can't really get much more obscene than "willing to tempt death year after year even though no one's asked you to in order to prove to YOURSELF that your lover loves you"

Honestly I don't think many of my fics are underrated! They're all written at different points in my development and my understanding of myself as a writer, and they range pretty widely in terms of theme and genre sometimes, so some, statistically, are going to be kind of niche! And that's okay! I guess the only thing I'd say is that even if you think something isn't your jam, unless the tags are specifically triggering you give it a try! The worst thing that'll happen is you get a paragraph in and then back out again. An extremely smart person (it was @xx-vergil-xx <3) recently said something along the lines that part of healthy interacting with art is also knowing when to put it down, but it's also important to give different things a chance so that you learn more about yourself and your preferences. I myself am trying to expose myself to and write more angst? Because it makes me deeply uncomfortable to do so! But that's a valuable feeling to know and recognize! Idk i just think we all get different stuff out of writing and it's just nice that I've been able to provide something to so many people <3

[nitewrighter]

On the The Adventures Of Superman radio show kryptonite arc, I’d love to hear your thoughts about it!

I’ve wanted to chat to someone about this for a while, but somewhere in the the 33 ep long arc, when escaping Clark, now an amnesiac from the liquid Kryptonite hitchhiked and catches a ride. The driver then proceeds to mention they’re going to go to Central City.

I know TAOS technically isn’t Superman canon. And, I’ve listened to only about 600 episodes of the show, but I’m fairly certain that’s the first time Central City is mentioned at a point where it didn’t technically exist in comic canon & wouldn’t for nearly half a decade. At the time Keystone City was where Jay Garrick’s Flash operated & it wouldn’t be til Barry Allen when Central City would be introduced.

I just think it’s so funny that they chose such a generic name that comic writers accidentally reused it half a decade later for another hero.

Also, I genuinely Loved the section of “Bud Smith” becoming a world-record breaking minor league baseball player, especially because baseball was something that was on the radio then and announcers and producers at the time got great at how to make a baseball game entertaining and fun to listen to. Though the tearing-my-hair-out-and-beyond-frustratingly-miscommunication-issues-in-a-40s-radio-show-plot-device during the last ep were So Bad.

It was a fucking wild arc to listen to & I hold it dear to my heart. I want a cameo of Bud Smith in the comics so bad. If there is one I unfortunately haven’t been able to find it.

..."Only" 600????

Ahhh unfortunately I'm not that far in--I'm only to the Happyland Amusement Park arc because I also tend to listen to a lot of audiobooks through Libby and since I more or less have consistent access to TAOS through spotify, that tends to take a backseat to Libby because with Libby I only have like, 2-week timeframes to listen to the books I want to (And yes, I know Spotify has audiobooks, too, but Libby means I can up my local library system's digital borrowing metrics). I'm definitely looking forward to the future arcs though!

But I love all the generic city and town names in not-super-canon DC titles--I collect them like pokemon because they're useful to have on hand if I need to throw in a suburb or make the setting feel bigger or smaller.

Something similar happened with National City, though, too! Before the Supergirl TV show, way back in 1997, National City was the stomping grounds of Xer0, a futuristic (thoroughly 90's) super-spy like hero whose gimmick was that he was black, but disguised himself as white (mission impossible mask style) when he was doing his super-spy stuff. Which sure is... something. Basically sales sucked for that title so bad that he never really got slotted into any crossovers, though Xer0 did fight Doctor Polaris like, one time. And eventually National City was forgotten about until they decided to plop Supergirl on the West Coast.

Fun fact about Happyland Amusement Park, though! That eventually did make its way into comics canon with Kirby's Forever People!

[floatingwithlaura]

im gonna say it on here bc it’s safer than my other socials atm. i don’t think im trans (fully). i was dead sure for 9? years. i feel like i am losing a part of myself - i am ACTUALLY gaining something but idk my heart is breaking a bit.

i was on T for 2 and a half years. i was gonna get top surgery (and decided not to for diff reasons). i changed my name. the sex on my passport is M. like. i was SO SURE.

now after all this time i’ve finally been unpacking shit in therapy and also learning about autism. and … yeah. i fucked up lmao.

it is entirely on me, i chose to do all i did and i chose to get done what i did. i consented to everything and i do not regret it. i just feel like… let down. that i wasn’t offered the support i needed earlier to understand myself and how i would feel more comfortable.

i am happy w a lot of T changes! like super happy. it made me feel like my own person. but.. yeah.

i think i would consider myself agender but i dont wanna say i identify that way bc its less of an identity and more of just my general understanding of gender. i have never understood gender. probably an autism thing! but i just DONT GET IT. i dont know how it is meant to ‘feel’ or how u even know which one u fit in.

since i was a child i just couldn’t grasp gender like everyone else and i guess that’s why i transitioned bc i never felt like a real girl. but then i didnt ‘feel’ like a boy either. and then i decided to come out as nonbinary but idk. i never ‘felt’ like that either.

to make matters more complicated, my abusive ex stepdad would bully and belittle me for being afab. he made me HATE being born how i was. the csa i felt was only because of my being born this way. no wonder i wanted to get away from it all. i refused to believe he could have an impact like that when i was 16 or so and people were suggesting it. it made me feel even more out of control. all i wanted was to be in charge of my body for once. transitioning felt like getting that control back (one of the reasons im so grateful for it).

in an ideal world gender wouldn’t exist n we would all just utilise hormones and surgery to feel good in our skin much like any other affirming surgeries.

for now i will use they/she pronouns. but idc really. gender is confusing and unimportant to me. i care more for aesthetics lmao ..

i hope this makes some sense n if anyone resonates with it plz dm me :,) i feel quite alone currently. i know it’s a very odd experience but i hope someone somewhere gets it.

[walder-138]

Imagine: Vasili having a private conversation with Abbey about his messed up life

Be careful it's filled with ANGST.

"Sometimes.. love knows how it'll make you fall for it, and also, give you that everlasting pain that'll remain in your soul as a scar. It can cut you so deeply.. sharply, than a knife. That if you sew to suture the wound.. it'll never seem to remove from the image. It will keep on reminding you.. that you would have never been this miserable and unfortunate.. if you had never met them. Never.. just never.."

"I loved Helen.. I did.. very much." Vasili tried not to break in front of Abbey. "But I was a fool. A scoundrel. That I fell for her and did what was necessary to win her heart. Now you don't say I was brainwashed that's why I couldn't remember anything but the point is.." He looks at Abbey with a hopeless and shattered look. "Why did I let this all happen to me? What was inside of me that truly SAID you need to choose this very path? What made me choose Perseus? How did I get to Adler? Why? Because I did it myself, Abbey.. I.. I chose this. I subconsciously decided to make myself suffer for the wrong I did. I chose the wrong side.. and.. here I am. Look at me." He smiled half-heartedly, with his arms half raised.

"I was naive. Even after being this intelligent? This witty? I.. I can't seem to.. to.." His voice shivered. "Break through this very situation? Only if.. I could have used my brain, I would have never—" Vasili tried not to sob and covered his eyes with his arm, sniffing a bit. "But I deserve it, Abbey. Because I truly deserve it. I was away killing off people without realising I was now stuck with a bunch of manic criminals who wanted to destroy the world. But me? I couldn't even raise my voice.. that it also made me stop using my mind! For what it had been finally used for without my true consciousness!" He clenched his hair and sat down, in a defeated state.

"I'm tired, Abbey.. I'm so tired.." He sobbed as he rubbed his whole face to wipe off the tears. "The KGB thinks I murdered our own General.. I lost Dimitri.. Adler wished if I was dead anyway.. and sure I gave him a lesson back there and showed him my new form.. but.. even after all that.. I still feel.. lost. Like all my roads ahead of me have been blocked. And I see nothing but.. darkness.. and the light faded before I could ever reach myself through it.." He smiles sadly. "Tells a lot.. maybe if.. Adler shot me back at the cliff.. all this suffering would have ended. And I would be at ultimate peace.. a-am I right, Abbey?"

STOP IT KHUSHI. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. STOP IT. YOU BETTER BE PAYING FOR MY THERAPY AFTER THIS CAUSE GIRL IM SOBBING. IM IN YOUR WALLS NOW 😭😭😭 I WILL GET BACK AT YOU FOR THIS! JUST YOU EFFING SEE. I CANT FUCKING STAND THESE TWO

SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE!

Abbey reached out, almost about to put her hand on Vasili’s shoulder, but pulled away before it could make contact. Instead, Abbey took a deep breath. She was at a loss of words, tears welling up in her eyes. After a moment of silence, she swallowed and spoke.

“Don’t say that, Vin—Vasili.” She mentally cursed herself for that mistake.

“I know you’re tired, and you’re angry, and you’re hopeless, and you feel like everyone in the world hates you and is out to get you, but wallowing in your own self loathing… you’re gonna end up wasting your life away. The paths aren’t blocked by some other entity, Vasili, you’re blocking them.”

“Wasting away means they won. That they got rid of you without even trying. Adler and Park, the rest of them responsible for what happened to you, That’s what they want- it’s what our governments do. They lie, manipulate, screw your brain up beyond recognition, then make you blame yourself for cracking under circumstances nobody could withstand.” Abbey’s voice was quiet, but there was a sharp edge to her words. Her anger, though subtle, was still evident behind the words, albeit not towards Vasili.

Noticing that she was tense, her fist were clenched, and was ranting, Abbey stopped to take a breath. Abbey’s demeanor softened as she took a seat next to Vasili, taking in his defeated expression. She gently removed his hands from his face and held onto them as she continued to speak.

“Vasili, I lo- I care about you. It’s hard for you to believe, I know, but I’m not asking you to. You’ve had every opportunity to kill me, you didn’t. You could’ve sent us all to Duga, you didn’t.”

“What I’m saying is, you’re not a bad person. You’ve done unforgivable things in the past, I refuse to put you on a pedestal, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of doing good.”

Abbey sighed, and held onto his hands tighter.

“If you ever feel like you’re alone or don’t have a place to go, you can always stay here. I don’t need a warning, and you don’t need to talk to me if you don’t want. I can sleep on the cot and you can take the air mattress; the cats might jump on you in the night so I’d keep that in mind. Jazzy and Blue expect you to feed them at dawn.” She chuckled, before letting go of Vasili’s hands.

“They love you, the cats. They really do.” Something we have in common.

Abbey fades out of existence. Bro’s hallucinating 😭😭😭

[flilisskywalker]

I kinda took a break from Star Wars in the first half of this year and since DC has been breaking my heart since Zack Snyder was mistreated by Warner Bros, had to find an obsession in something new: X-Men, which led to me to reconnect deeply with Transformers and start writing my own take on it. The Acolyte is being released every week right now and I no longer have Disney Plus because I have to pay my theater classes so I have to download it illegally. So... no longer the huge antecipation and the need to watch it as soon as possible. Those are definitely gone for me. I'm in a different moment of my life. I see the discourse, I see people say it's fucking terrible and then I sit down to watch the show and it's fine and it's okay that it's fine to me. I think Leslye Headland gets it. That first scene where a Jedi dies because they were busy saving someone, like, yeah that's the whole essence, their "weakness", like, yeah, that's what the Jedi are about. To me at least. And there's drama and the characters are cool and Qimir is kinda hot and I don't know what to tell you, but even the sets feel more like worlds than sets compared to the previous shows. I don't know what else people would want from Star Wars. Also last week, I revisited the sequel trilogy after what seven months and it was so fun. Those last 40 minutes of The Rise of Skywalker make me reflect a lot about the generation aspect of Star Wars, about use of iconography to tell a story, about these characters wrestling with the weight of the originals and being able to carry the burden and finding value in some parts of the past and it just moves me deeply.

And that's it. I feel happier with Star Wars when I'm not so obsessed with it. My obsession and biggest focus right now is my take on Transformers, but I'm glad I can still find joy in a galaxy far far away.

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

Sort of faintly connected to your awesome on-off disucssion about Matty's identity and different ways of presenting himself, when I watching the stream of the Halloween show I really felt like something about being in costume freed him up to be looser, more fun, maybe more "himself" in some ways. I do think part of what I was seeing was just that last night was a break in what must sometimes be an exhausting routine of repeating most of the show over and over again, but I wondered what you thought about how dressing up as a character seemed to dial down his self-consciousness levels. (I'm sure there's a fic idea somewhere in here, also). Forgive the long ask, I'm procrastinating on a work task! 😂

I mean, yes: this is absolutely spot on.

Let me start off by saying I haven't watched much from last night, or from this tour in general really. I am going through a personal content detox because I started off very annoyed at the whole concept of SATVB and I really want to get to my shows next week (!!!!!!) without too much bias.

I am an ATVB girl at heart, it was my first tour that I followed closely both as it was happening and obviously afterwards (the amount of ATVB content I consumed while writing ILYDYM is worrying and I can tell you pretty much everything about any date, god help me), and I find myself missing the "method acting" bit in some capacity. Not the capacity that was driving Matty's mental health into the ground, obviously, but the bit that effectively allowed him to play a character every single night (albeit one very very similar to his own self) and then in the second half completely let go of it and be the real Matty. I remember when I got hit with that realisation at the end of January, just watching as the show transformed from the first to the second half and he blossomed into somebody else, someone familiar and so different from the guy we'd been looking at for the first forty-five minutes.

So this Halloween show was special, yes, because it effectively was the best of both worlds: it allowed him to play a character, do things he normally wouldn't have done for the sake of entertainment (not only other people's, also and most importantly his own), and yet be himself while at it.

And to bring it back to the "Matty is queer" discourse, since that's where I generally gravitate: Halloween is inherently very queer. Dressing up, stretching normal boundaries of appearance, sometimes gender-bending (we all see you and worship you, Adam Hann and John Waugh)... It's all queer as fuck. And even if Matty's chosen costume was admittedly very boring and fairly OBVIOUS for him, I am still happy with it because he looked like he was having an absolute blast. And isn't that why they do what they do, and have done so for the past twenty years, really?

(long ask, even longer reply: apparently I had A Lot Of Thoughts about this ❤️)

[words--like--violence]

I was walking along the riverwalk at late at night and saw the cutest little hippie girl. She was so cute I has to smile to celebrate her existence. I couldn't stop looking at her as I walked by and she slightly cocked her head and then smiled back like…

"[What is THIS?]" :-)

She liked me. For a moment. A beautiful moment. I was happy. I kept on walking. I'm antisocial. I don't like people. I kept walking. So cute. Like a kitten I wanted to cradle in my arms and cuddle forever.

...

A minute later I realized it's 1 AM, downtown. This is not exactly the place where cute little hippie girls usually sit alone on public benches in fetal positions. She can't be cold, it's like 85 degrees, I'm sweating from walking. (Fuck you, Florida.) Then I wondered if she was homeless. I once knew a homeless hippie guy who dressed like that. My heart sank. World, you are too cruel. Fuck you, World.

I turned around and walked back to ask her, but then it looked like a guy was with her. Boyfriend? Stranger? Satan incarnate? Probably, but I don't talk to women who are with other guys, I have no interest in talking to guys, or interrupting conversations. I don't need any conflicts. I don't need Satan incarnate. That's her problem. My life is hard enough. Oh well. Guess I'm too late. Chance blown. Window closed. Asshole universe tugged on my heartstrings only to taunt me. Typical. Fuck you, Universe. I walk away. Story of my life, it's what I do, it's who I am, I walk away.

10 minutes later I'm lying in bed. …agonizing. 10 minutes of suffering. Dude was probably a passerby, he showed up too soon, and I generally hate random people, especially downtown at 1 AM. I know the kinds of people who walk around at 1 AM, I'm one of them. We're mostly aimless good for nothings, some worth less than nothing. But what if he was harassing her...? ...and I walked away. Damn it. I've become a cold heartless monster. But I don't need these complications. My life is simple, being alone keeps life simple. After all I've been through, I need peace and tranquility like I need air, I need peace and quiet like I need… to know she's okay.

Damn it.

I hop out of bed, grab my clothes, and as a second thought grab a quick handful of quarters on my way out. I don't have much to offer anyone, but I could at least get her a coffee with a half pound of sugar, or bus fare, whatever. My heart on a platter, whatever. She's a total stranger and I haven't cared this much for anyone in years. I've hardly talked to anyone in years. I have to ask if she's homeless. I have to know. I will suffer until I know.

The guy isn't there. Good. … Was I being jealous? Probably. She was so cute. Unbelievablely cute. Too cute. Maybe too young? Pedobait? Jailbait? Working with undercovers? I don't care. Doesn't matter. I'm just asking if she's homeless, right? And maybe giving her some pocket change and maybe a place to stay the night and maybe ruining my life. Fuck. What the fuck am I doing going to meet a teenager at 1:30 in the morning. I'm antisocial. I don't want to do this. I have to do this. My heart is breaking for her.

"Please tell me you're not homeless."

[Sly smile] "No."

So cute. Too cute. And now I have no good excuse to talk to her anymore. I'm antisocial. I don't like people. I'm walking away. [Sigh] "Good."

Did I sigh with relief or disappointment? I can't tell. I think it's both. Just keep walking. Damn it. I'm walking the wrong direction. I don't live in this direction. Keep walking. I don't care. Keep walking. Keep saying I don't care.

Wait... I said "Please don't tell me" and she said "No.", was she refusing to tell me? ...because I asked her not to? My heart hurts. I can't take this any more. I can't go back. Thinking about her is unbearable. Just keep walking, she was smiling, a beautiful smile, everything's okay. Everything will be okay. It will be okay. I'm okay.

I'll probably never see her again.

[bcofl0ve]

Part 2. No one would dispute they have had so much tragedy. Austin seems to always have some sort of evil intent from others trying to bring him down and it’s all tied to Elvis. He is the kindest of souls so it makes so sense for there to always be someone after him. I sometimes worry about him a lot. I don’t really know what I’m trying to get at here. Does anything I’m saying make sense?

oh (re the first half of this) i 1000% believe that the presleys are in some sense, very unfortunately, cursed. did you know someone in the ‘bubble’has lost both a spouse or former spouse and a child ‘before their time’ 3 generations down? vernon losing gladys and elvis, priscilla losing elvis and lisa, danny losing lisa and ben.

part of my whole initial spiral when lisa first died was being so so worried about austin and baz and tbh everyone in the movie team feeling like they were now entangled with the curse that the family has always seemed to carry. i don’t say that to be woowoo for giggles either, as someone who *adores* the family it breaks my fucking heart. i can see a world where lisa didn’t die and austin remained maybe a littleee bit connected to the estate simply because they were close and i think austin would have crawled over broken glass for lisa and done absolutely anything she asked of him.

but we unfortunately don’t live in that world and i absolutely think it’s for the best, for his health, that he separates himself as much as he can. i worry about him too but i think he’s very self aware and that serves him well. i trust him to take care of himself and am glad he seems to have a good circle of people who care about him watching out for him. <3