#it is so emotionally driven which is exactly what i love

[pinkwhalepjs]

Rage and Ruidus

More than any other campaign, Bell’s Hells is creating a story deeply rooted in their characters emotional impulses, flaws, and failings. As Orym implores them to understand in the episode’s climax, they are all powder kegs ready to explode and they need each other desperately in order to survive and in order to save their world, which, like them, in on the verge of imminent destruction caused by problems left too long unaddressed and festering in secrecy. After all, the red storms of Ruidus are themselves described as “angry” and “raging”.

The group boils over early in the episode as Fearne’s repressed anger at her parents for abandoning her basically due to their own carelessness (and their lack of reaction leaving her rage impotent) burns into the rest of the party as they see their own pasts mirrored. Imogen whose parents abandoned her for nearly identical reasons, their own obsession with or hatred of Ruidus, obviously brims with her own mirrored rage but it also spreads to FCG who was left by his only known family and even Ashton who too has a history of being left behind.

The rest of the episode can practically all be encapsulated by the wild and sudden rage of Ashton. The party is caught by surprise at his irrationally destructive behavior, destroying an important item the party needed on a whim. FCG senses Ashton’s own fury with no direction in an echo of Fearne’s, tells him not every problem can be solved with a hammer which only served to upset him more and inspires him to destroy Ira’s room. The last thing they want is to be reminded of their own powerlessness.

Before we even get to the end of the episode, a moment of extreme rage bubbles out from Imogen, Fearne, and Ashton as they escalate to the point of screaming “Let’s kill our parents!”. This is laughed off as a ridiculous moment but in truth is one of the only real glimpses of these characters depth of anger on this day. FCG is also a member of this patricidal exchange which creates quite the case of situational irony as it becomes increasingly clear that FCG did in fact attempt to kill his creator/family when his anger boiled over years ago.

The final scene can be understood as the culminating expression of the rage FCG, Fearne, and Laudna have all been continuously suppressing. Fearne finally gets the chance to scream and burn as someone finally says what she fears, that her parents simply didn’t care enough to keep her, to know who they gave her to, or even come looking (and worse that this implies some flaw within herself to make her not worth keeping). Laudna explodes as Delilah pushes fear and dread onto her and she hears her own worst fears, that she was “never alive” to begin with. She and FCG feel a echoed fear, that they are something less than the others around them, an empty shell that can never be filled. Laudna and FCG both come out of this fight seeing themselves as monsters, something others in the group might be better off without.

Ashton’s rage turns to a kind of fear as FCG turns on the group and the group turns on him. Ashton earlier than day showed that in a fit of rage he would destroy what others cherished and act with violent impulse and he keeps coming back to them same idea. Will he be abandoned if he steps too far one day? He too will strike out when pushed to the edge and hurt others on a bad impulse. Ashton begs Fearne to heal FCG to give him another chance. He doesn’t know her rage is more about her own family than FCG himself and is steeped in terror that family and friendship is conditional, something that can be lost based on ones actions.

Like the moon, terrible red storms of rage, fear, and self hatred are brewing in the majority of party members and they must not only uncover what terrible secrets are being held by Ruidus but they must face themselves and learn to truly rely on each other in order to survive what is coming.

[forzalando]

what makes the sunset?

3k celebration blurb for @katsu28! you can find my celebration post here if you'd like to celebrate with me :) title inspired by the song what makes the sunset? - frank sinatra. if you’d like, give it a listen! that’s the vibe of lando x reader in this💛 word count: 845 summary: sappy sunset with lando. obvious they both love each other but no established relationship (i love idiots in love).

The time was nearing 8:00pm – you’d already cooked and cleaned up dinner, thrown a load of laundry in the washer, changed into comfy PJs, and vacuumed your entire living space.

The tick of your tv remote was beginning to drive you mad. Each time you scrolled to the next tv show or movie in your recommended, the sound grew louder and louder. After ten minutes of searching, you reached for your phone and went to the last text thread in your messages.

what should I watch? I literally can’t find anything that looks interesting and it’s driving me insane

The reply bubbles appeared on your screen almost immediately, but your (hopefully) saving grace decided to call instead of respond via text.

“What are you in the mood for?” Lando asked, his mouth clearly full of his dinner.

“Did you call me so that you wouldn’t have to take a break from eating to text me back?”

“Maybe, but I’m the one asking the questions here. What are you in the mood for?”

“Hmm,” you paused, “something beautiful, passionate, emotionally stirring. I want to feel something.”

“And you came to me for suggestions?” Lando’s laugh rang through the speaker, the sound filling you with warmth.

“Well, excuse me, Mr. ‘I’m a Scorpio and let me tell you all about it’! Aren’t you supposed to be passionate and emotional?”

“Alright, give me a minute to think!”

The silence was brief, not even 30 seconds had passed before Lando began speaking again.

“Be ready in 15 minutes, I’ve got the perfect idea.”

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant, the line went dead. You huffed out a breath and made your way to your room to change out of your pajamas – which, quite honestly, soured your mood a bit.

Exactly 15 minutes after your call ended, Lando Norris was furiously knocking at your door.

“Come on, come on, hurry up!!!” You could hear him yelling from outside your apartment – thank goodness it was early enough that your neighbors wouldn’t complain about a nighttime disturbance.

Swinging your door open, you came face to face with Lando, his arm raised to knock incessantly once again.

“You are insufferable,” you huffed. Those were the only words you could get out before Lando was practically dragging you towards the elevators.

“Where are we even going?”

“It’s a surprise,” he sang. You couldn’t help but laugh at his giddiness, following him blindly down to his car sitting outside your building, still running and somehow not stolen.

You tried to guess – ice cream, a friend’s place, a movie theater. With each guess, Lando shook his head and teased that he wasn’t going to tell you. Soon, Lando had parked his car in a familiar lot, one you’d driven to many times before when the weather was nice and he was miraculously home.  

The sand was white and inviting – it squished underneath your toes as you stepped onto the beach, soft and still slightly warm from the sun beating down on it all day. You began to sit down when you heard Lando shouting behind you.

“NO sandy bottoms in my car, I brought a beach blanket you heathen!”

Sure enough, you turned around and there he was with the beach blanket you’d bought for him last summer. It had papayas on it, you simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

“So what are we doing here, Lan?”

He gestured towards the view in front of you. “You said you wanted to watch something beautiful and emotionally stirring.”

You looked at him quizzically, his hint completely lost on you. He rolled his eyes teasingly, scooting closer to you and bringing his arm up to look at his watch.

“The sun should start setting in about���five minutes? If I timed this correctly.”

“You brought me to the beach to watch the sunset?” A soft smile graced your lips, and it was your turn to scoot closer to Lando, only a few centimeters separating your legs.

“It just kind of popped into my head, but I should have asked you. I didn’t totally think this through, I’m sorry – ”

“Lando,” you interrupted him. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

He smiled at you and breathed a sigh of relief as he looked out towards the water, his shoulders visibly relaxing. It was silent for a few moments until he tensed again, turning to face you with wide eyes.

“Are you cold? The temperature is going to drop like twenty degrees, I have an extra hoodie in my car, let me go grab it.”

As he started to get up, you gently grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, finally closing the tiny gap of space between you.

“I’m fine, Lando,” you insisted, leaning your head on his shoulder and linking your arms. “You’re everything I need.”

He relaxed again and lowered his head slowly to meet yours, intertwining your fingers at the same time. As the two of you sat in silence, unspoken words and feelings swirled around in your minds.

Emotionally stirring was an understatement.

[ot3]

What Is ORV?

The number one question I get asked on this blog, now answered better than ever. Today I am going to formally introduce you to Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

To start off this recommendation: ORV might very well be my favorite thing I've read. Ever. If I could only reread one thing for the rest of my life it'd be this webnovel.

My elevator pitch is this: something with the cosmic-scale goofy video game nonsense and intricate setting comparable to Homestuck in its prime, paired with the deft emotional poignancy and emotionally-driven fights of Mob Psycho 100, topped off with the sort of compassionate and heartwrenching metanarrative of Undertale.

ORV is a love letter to it's own readers. ORV revels in the joy of losing yourself in fiction, even when it's the kind of fiction that tends to be considered lowbrow or worthless. It's something that dances the delicate line between recognizing the difficult nature of using media as escapism without condemning it. I've rarely seen anything else that accomplishes everything it sets out to do in its narrative with such remarkable precision. Frankly if you're reading a tumblr media recommendation post in 2023, I can almost guarantee ORV has the kind of meat you're looking for in a narrative, whatever that may be.

The story follow the antics of protagonist Kim Dokja, a 28 year old office worker on an expiring contract, whose only real joy in life is reading his favorite massively long and massively boring webnovel. One day, the novel’s events - worldwide deathmatches aired for the entertainment of mysterious higher beings called ‘constellations’ - begin playing out in reality in a sort of reverse-isekai. Kim Dokja, the only longterm reader of this webnovel, finds himself uniquely poised to succeed based on the advantages given to him by his knowledge of future events, but the webnovel’s actual protagonist, Yoo Jonghyuk, is a violent monster who will stop at absolutely nothing to complete his goals, no matter the cost to anyone else. Kim Dokja finds himself in a delicate dance of guiding the events of the story to play out more favorably than the version he read while trying to avoid being massacred in the fallout, all while trying to see it through to the story’s end. 

Below the cut I'll go into a more in-depth (but non-spoilery) explanation of what exactly makes ORV so unique and worthwhile, and what you're in for if you choose to read it.

Clocking in at 550 chapters, and over 1.3 million words in English, ORV may seem incredibly daunting to dip your toes into, but I assure you it's worth every moment. I would read 1.3 million more words if they had them for me. Here are some things about ORV I consider to be selling points, not necessarily in any particular order:

The tone. Its funny, for starters. It is extremely funny, which is very high up on my media priority list. In ORV, there will be incredibly grim things that make you laugh, and incredibly cringe and silly anime bullshit that will hurt you as heavily as any other media you’ve seen. I always love this kind of tonal whiplash when it's well executed, and ORV probably executes it better than anything else I've seen to date.

It’s got fun and fascinating worldbuilding mechanics. the core concept being ‘reality now operates on the rules of a shitty novel’ means that the worldbuilding doesn’t have to function logically, it functions thematically. It’s explicitly stated in ORV canon that some of the internal rules governing this new reality are objectively really stupid and illogical, but they just have to roll with it because that’s what was in the book, and i think it’s a really enjoyable way to do it. This may at first sound like a copout to excuse bad worldbuilding, but I promise it isn’t. The worldbuilding is actually incredibly deeply thought out, but it doesn’t exist for the sake of rational function, it exists for the sake of furthering orv’s thematic arcs. The rules by which this universe operate do a magnificent job of strengthening the core concepts the authors are exploring.

It plays with the trappings of isekai/litrpg in a really thoughtful way. These are genres I'm not super familiar with, so I can't comment on this point too heavily, but with my limited knowledge ORV feels a lot less of a deconstruction of it's genre and more of a celebration/interrogation of it. Despite that, it's still accessible to readers such as myself who are not super familiar with these genre conventions.

It deals with morality in a really wonderful and nuanced way. there are almost no characters in ORV’s extremely large cast who are just explicitly morally condemnable, and almost every conflict allows you to understand exactly why the antagonists believe they’re in the right by opposing the actions of our protagonists. The central conflicts are never pure right and pure wrong; they’re always about contrasting goals, conflicting worldviews, and different priorities between ends and means. this makes the conflicts all feel so much more dynamic and engaging than those where the only stakes are physical harm.

The characters interpersonal relationships are some of the most interesting I've ever seen. ORV is very slow burn and it takes a long time for a lot of these to come out of the woodwork, by design, but by god once they do they fucking hit. Similar to the plot conflicts, the interpersonal conflicts also almost never occur where there’s one side clearly in the wrong. The characters are almost all genuinely attempting to do their best by each other, and the tension comes from the ways in which human communication is fundamentally imperfect and part of our feelings and intentions get lost in translation. it’s very heartwrenching and heartwarming to see unfold, in equal measure.

Following from that, it’s a narrative that really meaningfully prioritizes non-romantic relationships over romantic ones as the central focus. Orv is about love, but not about romance. Obviously there’s shipbait and the ot3 is real and good and my friend but if you’re looking for deep complex platonic, (found or otherwise) familial, and antagonistic relationships that never get ruined with forced romantic arcs, we got em baby!

The pacing is unlike anything i’ve ever seen before. from a purely technical standpoint, it is genuinely a fascinating case study in how to execute a narrative that is almost constantly escalating without exception. there is very little downtime or breathing room in orv, which is insane for something that clocks in at over a million words, and somehow, it still works. i’ve never felt more like a frog in a pot of slowly boiling water than i did when i was reading orv and i can’t believe they pulled it off. it’s so interesting to read something like that.

It is a tragedy without resorting to cynicism and a very adult narrative that’s really steeped in childlike wonder. I’m a big fan of cartoons made for children. Cartoons made for children are some of my favorite things to watch, but of course children’s media will always be simplified and not very relatable to an adult audience. ORV is very much a serious and heavy adult narrative, and a deeply tragic one at that, but it never delves into torture porn. It’s a very compassionate piece of media overall, that holds a lot of reverence and sympathy for the ‘naive’ optimism of children that gets stripped down over time. if you, like me, feel more like a grown up child than an adult some days, I think it’ll hit for you.

It is extremely cathartic and meaningful. I am not exaggerating at all when I say that reading it gave me the closest thing I have ever felt to any sort of spiritual breakthrough. It helped unfuck my head a ton during some very grim times and i think the perspective it offers on the value of human life and our relationship to storytelling is a really really good one.

And if my word isn't enough, here's some reviews from satisfied customers. With that, I'll leave the rest to you, and hope you one day reach the end of the story.

[depravitycentral]

Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku General Profile

Yandere! Kyojuro Rengoku x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, violence, he breaks your fingers, Kyo feeds you bird-style and it's pretty gross and gnarly, delusions/detachment from reality, Stockholm Syndrome, masturbation, slight misogyny/traditional gender roles, forced motherhood, allusions to non-con, you and Kyo share a toothbrush ugh, lots of references to death, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Caring 

Similarly to most other Hashira, Kyojuro is greatly attracted to honest, genuine kindness.

His world is so full of hatred, death, and pain, and having a darling who is softer, sweeter, more empathetic makes his heart swell.

(And, occasionally, other things will swell when he sees his darling smiling or complimenting or speaking with children - but Kyojuro pays it no mind. So you shouldn’t, either.)

There’s just something so alluring about a darling who genuinely cares for the people around them - he himself is quite positive, if not blunt, and a darling who can match his philosophy of protecting and caring for those who need it would be a perfect match.

He likes the idea of a darling who has the best intentions of others’ at heart; it’s refreshing to see and interact with someone who is so pure and wonderfully kind, because while his fellow slayers are certainly committed to a good cause, his darling is different.

They’re naturally sweet, utterly unaware of the horrors of this world and yet still striving to make others smile, still trying to help undo any wrongs those around them have experienced.

This aspect of his darling is one of the first things he notices about them, and while he’s not a selfish man by any means, he’ll grow to absolutely love when this caring nature is directed at him, particular after long, difficult missions where he’s both physically and emotionally exhausted, only desiring to hold something soft and sweet and warm.

Coincidentally, something exactly like his darling.

Passionate

The specific passion itself is inconsequential – it doesn’t matter what his darling loves, as long as they love something.

He himself is driven by internal motivation and a righteousness to help others, and while his darling doesn’t need to be quite this serious, he likes the idea of them having goals and aspirations.

The most likely way this manifests itself within his darling is through a creative platform – art, music, culinary arts, writing, or any sort of activity in which his darling can express themselves.

He likes that his darling has something they truly enjoy, and he’s the type to want to learn about and indulge in his darling’s passion.

He’ll eagerly listen to everything they have to say, absorbing the information with wide, glittering eyes and a smile, trying so very hard to listen to their words but getting repeatedly distracted by how utterly adorable they look when they’re concentrating.

He can’t stop admiring the way they look when they’re discussing their passion, how happy they become, radiating a sort of joy and glow that only makes him fall harder and deeper, his obsession solidifying with every smile they give him.

And he’ll fully foster this passion of theirs – he’s got access to any resources his darling can dream of, easily providing them and enjoying the way their face lights up, how they become so grateful.

His only caveat is that he has to watch them as they work at their passion, getting a front row seat to watch them enjoy themselves, his bright eyes fixed on them the entire time because god, how are they so utterly perfect?

It’s endearing to Kyojuro because in his mind, his darling looks at him that way, too, with a smile and undying love.

Ambitious

Now, his darling doesn’t need to be ambitious in the sense that they take huge risks, or even that they have high expectations and goals for themselves.

It can manifest this way, sure, but the main core of why he finds this personality trait attractive is because it shows drive.

He likes a darling who has a strong sense of self; he doesn’t want to change his beloved in any way; he wants to be their pillar of support, to offer unwavering help and encouragement for whatever pursuits they’re chasing after, no matter how big or small.

He thinks it’s a wonderful thing to have dreams for the future, just as he does – he dreams of Senjuro once again having a happy family (one he hopes his darling will help provide), and of all demons being eradicated so that the world can live peacefully.

He’ll cherish and respect any dreams his darling possesses, but only if they don’t interfere with what he believes should happen.

He prioritizes his relationship with his darling above many things, and this includes what his darling wants most.

He will be expecting them to dutifully become his loving partner and wife, to bear his children and help him raise them, to be a guiding, loving hand to teach them morality, charity, and all sorts of other things that his darling hardly believes he possesses.

So while he’ll likely crush the ambitions his darling possesses, the mere fact that they have ambitions is attractive to him.

Talkative

It’s not that Kyojuro can’t fall for a quieter darling, but rather that he wants someone who will match his chattiness.

He’s naturally quite loud, truly a boisterous man who loves to interact with others.

He’s constantly peppering his darling with questions, his voice a steady flow as he just talks and talks and talks, throwing compliments and them alongside grandiose declarations of love, all intermixed with small talk about the weather or the flowers on the sides of the village pathways, or even about the pretty birds flying in the sky.

He just likes interacting with his darling, and he needs someone that is willing to return his eagerness to talk.

He likes the way his darling’s attention stays on him when he’s speaking to them; how their eyes stay fixed on his form, how they nod along to his words, how they laugh at his outlandish, unbelievable claims and logic, how they just simply acknowledge him, making him feel comfortable and seen and wanted.

Kyojuro will want to spend hours talking with his darling, and he needs someone who can match this energy. He needs a darling who can pepper him with their own questions, who can keep the conversation flowing and keep the interaction alive.

Besides, Kyojuro has this unwavering, unsatiable curiosity for his beloved, one that can only be partially quelled when his darling is revealing more and more about themselves.

And he’ll eagerly listen, mentally storing away each new piece of information, remembering absolutely everything because everything about his darling is important, something that must be remembered and cherished and worshipped.

They’re just perfect, and if they’re naturally chatty, it only furthers his obsession. 

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Delusional 

Generally speaking, from the moment that Kyojuro’s feelings for you fully form, he’s absolutely, utterly under the impression that every emotion, desire and draw he feels towards you is returned fully. He honestly believes that you’re just as in love as he is, that the connection he’s so acutely aware of between the both of you is mutual, that you’re just as desperate and eager to be his partner, his lover, his wife and the woman he’ll spend the rest of his life with. 

He doesn’t have any real romantic experience - he’s been attracted to women before, sure, but he’s never courted someone before you simply because when he courts, he intends to wed. 

And as a result, his only real reference for romance is his own parents’ relationship. And while it was loving, beautiful, healthy while his mother was still alive, time and his changing father have left Kyojuro with a bit of a warped view of love. 

And this is where his delusions stem from - he’s confident, desperate for you to return the passionate feelings he holds for you, and he manages to convince himself of your growing love for him every day. 

He’s so sure, in fact, that even as his obsession with you forms (slowly, as he’s a bit picky about partners and can be a bit oblivious even towards his own feelings), so do the beginnings of his detachment from reality. As he slowly begins realizing that he enjoys being in your presence more than most other people, your smiles and greetings of oh hello Rengoku, I didn’t know you’d be here will seem more and more like you expressing your glee at having him by your side rather than a simple, platonic welcome. 

As he realizes that hearing you laugh makes his palms sweat and his heart race, he begins thinking your laugh is really for him, that your chuckles are stronger when they’re directed at him than compared to others. 

He’s imagining your pretty face lighting up with that radiant smile behind closed eyes when he’s falling asleep at night, and slowly he begins concluding that your every quirk of the lip towards him must mean that you’re happy with him, that his presence alone fills you with a sort of joy that you simply can’t hide. 

(And, perhaps you know that it’s you that fills his thoughts at night – maybe you’re purposefully plaguing his thoughts, trying to tell him something - perhaps you want him to think of you and your lovely mouth, the way your lips look when you say his name, how your tongue flicks out to wet them just so…) 

It’s mostly innocent in the beginning; his delusions manifest more as simply misreading the signals you send him, honest mistakes that aren’t too uncommon – but, as the relationship (or, at least the one Kyojuro is trying so very hard cultivate) progresses, these slips in judgment become more and more profound, more and more difficult to ignore. 

When he’s wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest as he inhales deeply and enthusiastically greets you in a voice just a bit too breathy for your liking, Kyojuro sees your discreet attempts at ending the far-too-long hug as you merely trying to get comfortable. 

Surely you just want to feel more of his body against your own, or want him to be closer so that there’s nothing separating you from him, from the love he’s oh so willing to give you. 

When you bite your lip and avert your gaze as you politely ask him to stop staring at you so much and following you home, Kyojuro will simply smile, placing a hand on your shoulder and giving you a firm don’t worry, I don’t mind protecting you! It’s my place as a Hashira, after all, so don’t needlessly fret! 

He honestly doesn’t understand why you’re not as happy as he is, and frankly he can’t even really fathom the idea that you aren’t happy – how can he, when he’s been searching for so many years for a partner to love and spoil? 

How can he, when your body just seems to perfectly fit against his own, your voice like honey and your name a drug as it slips from his lips? 

How can he, when he’s seen his father so harshly decline, when the memory of his mother is still so fresh, when he wants so badly to build a family of his own, to give Senjuro another family to call his?

How can he, when you become the sole reason he begins valuing his own life during missions, not being as reckless because he needs to come home to you - you need your lover and husband, of course.

(In more ways than one - who will protect you? Provide for you? Pleasure you?) 

Kyojuro honestly latches onto you, his every thought and emotion revolving around you you you, to the point where even once he’s locked you away, deep inside the Rengoku residence with your shared bed and lovely, expensive new kimonos neatly folded in stacks upon stacks (all in shades of reds and golds, of course, to signify your status with him), he still won’t recognize that you’re always crying because you’re scared. 

He won’t realizethat you flinch when he touches you because you don’t want him anywhere near you. 

He won’t connect the dots that you spend each and every night curled up in a ball weeping because you just want to go home, please Kyojuro, please… 

Try as he may, he just can’t fathom that you aren’t as madly, desperately in love – so don’t bother, really, because it’s much more hassle than it’s worth, and in the end he’ll get what he wants. He always will get what he wants, so why don’t you just give in? 

He’ll never let you go, never believe any of your pleas to be freed from him, so why don’t you just accept his love? 

Protective 

Honestly, your personal combat abilities are irrelevant - in Kyojuro’s mind, you’re weak. Defenseless. Laughably unable to keep yourself safe and out of trouble - incapable, even, though it sounds a bit harsh.

He believes that you’re too fragile and sweet and wonderful to be anywhere near a demon, a human with bad intentions, or anything of the sort.

Your strengths lie not in battle, but in your charm and beauty - you’re so sweet, your words melting him like butter and leaving him as putty in your hands, his heart doing backflips in his chest as his fingers twitch to do anything and everything just to keep you smiling.

Your talents lie in the way you effortlessly intrigue him; your words ensnaring his attention no matter the topic, your touch sending electricity up his spine, even your most mundane actions making him stop and stare because every little thing you do is important.

You simply aren’t made for the battlefield, or for confrontation in general - he’s sure of it, and he’s arguably the most trustworthy source of judgment you could find. He’s a seasoned Hashira, seen more death than you can imagine, slaughtered more demons than you can count, so could he really be wrong in his assessment of your abilities?

He sees you as a bit of a baby, in all honesty, because while he’s more than aware of your womanly charms (the not so subtle way his eyes rake over your figure when he forces you to bathe with him is enough to convince you of that, if the way his hands ghost over the bulge of his trousers when you speak to him wasn’t enough), he still can’t shake the paranoia that you’ll one day be hurt.

He’s terrified that you can’t really take care of yourself as well as he can. And frankly, the paranoia isn’t unfounded – it’s difficult to fault him for his overprotectiveness when you think of his past, how often he sees death, and how often he’s the cause of it.

He’s too accustomed to seeing others’ lives lost, and he absolutely refuses to allow you the same fate, so long as he’s breathing and has enough finger strength to grip his sword and send air rushing through his lungs.

He’s determined to a disturbing degree to keep you safe; with every demon he decapitates, internally he’s sighing in relief because that’s one less monster that could potentially sink their claws into you - every demon dead is a step towards keeping you safe, healthy, alive, his.

He’s patronizing in an odd way, because while he doubts your capabilities, he doesn’t treat you like you’re a child. He’s just hovering, always, with his eyes glued to you and that same unnerving, wide smile on his lips that never seems to go away when you’re around him.

His gaze is wide and excited as he sees how you bring the bowl of soup to your lips to sip, the intensity of the way he watches making your hands tremble and a bit of the hot soup spill down to your chest.

He’ll let you feed yourself - for now - but as soon as you flinch, the heat and wetness making you cringe as you get up to clean yourself, he’s on you – a flash of yellow and red as he tut-tuts and uses the sleeve of his haori to wipe up the mess, a thumb against your lip and his face much too close to yours as he tells you to be careful, don’t hurt yourself, my flame.

He’s not letting you touch anything with sharp edges, for fear that you’ll trip and cut yourself, nor does he allow you permission to speak to anyone new that he hasn’t already extensively vetted in his own way.

(This comprises mostly of just simply observing someone, and the moment he sees something even slightly unfavorable - like a snarky comment or even having their hair be messy - he’s deciding that they’re not good enough to interact with you - you’re better than them, and speaking with them would only taint you, bringing you down from the pedestal he places you on.)

 He’s controlling, not allowing anyone into your life that isn’t himself, to the point that he’ll simply show up the second another man or woman begins speaking with you, a strong arm around your waist with fingers digging in much harsher than they should, that familiar smile tight on his lips.

He’s terrified that he’ll one day lose you, and in a lot of ways keeping you safe is his own way of living up to the expectations of his mother.

You’re weak, so damn weak, and you need someone to care for you, to be there for you and take care of you in your time of need, and Kyojuro is more than happy to take on the role, to take responsibility of your life and safety.

It’s a bit overwhelming, how he’s always offering to do tasks for you, interrupting you halfway through to take over with that broad grin of his, that laugh and a rambunctious what kind of lover would I be if I didn’t carry your groceries for you making it difficult to stop him.

And really, eventually you’ll get to the point of relenting and letting him to do as he pleases, because as much as the man may intimidate you, scare you or disturb you, there’s just something about his desperation to please you that’ll get you feeling oddly flattered, flustered simply because of the lengths he’s willing to go.

Because really, while it may scare you how his hand always seems to find a place at your hip, don’t all the stories and movies have chivalrous male leads helping guide the girl through crowded areas, a steady hand to help keep them grounded, just as Kyojuro does?

Sure, it’s weird how he knows the order from every restaurant in town that you like, how he’s always able to show up at just the right time with a steaming bowl of udon or whatever you’re feeling, but doesn’t it feel nice to be cared for, that he thought of you and made the stop to buy you something?

It may be disturbing how he gulps and smiles wider every time he sees you bend over, but isn’t it flattering to know that he finds your body attractive?

He won’t allow you to place a finger on anything or anyone that could hurt you, so you’d better get used to the life of a pampered housewife – because while it will take him a long while to allow you to cook with any sort of heat, there’s something oddly therapeutic about being your big, strong partner that provides for you, while you keep his bed and heart warm, all with that natural charm he finds so alluring. 

Clingy

Because Kyojuro’s perceptions of your relationship aren’t exactly realistic, he’ll come off as extremely, extremely needy to you. But it’s in a strange way – he’s not constantly clinging onto you, needing your reassurance and needing your eyes to stay focused entirely on him.

(He certainly won’t discourage this kind of behavior, of course, but he isn’t that outwardly desperate, and he isn’t the type to physically grasp your chin to keep you looking at him. He’ll perhaps grasp your hand or your waist to keep you at his hip, but he’s not quite that blatant.)

Instead, his clinginess manifests in how he’s simply always around you.

His presence will become a constant in your life – you’d be hard pressed to not see those familiar blond and red locks in your peripheral, or to hear that booming voice ringing in your ears. It would be difficult to find yourself in a public situation where Kyojuro isn’t standing diligently at your side, that blinding smile spread across his face, turning just a bit softer and a bit more earnest when it’s aimed at you.

Really, he simply hates being away from you. Not having you within his sight makes him nervous, anxiety itching at his stomach because where are you?

It’s not possessiveness, not a paranoia that you could be talking to other men, but rather an honest, genuine, horrible fear that you could be hurt, that someone could’ve taken you and injured you and touched you and possibly even have killed you.

And frankly, the fear isn’t too unfounded – you’ll understand why he's always rushing to you, literally running to catch up with you when you wander away from him, a steady hand pressing into your back as he pulls you into a hug, the faint smell of woodsmoke and musk filling your nose as the hard planes of his chest press against you.

It’s understandable, so you won’t really wonder why he’s always insisting on accompanying you every free moment he has, his presence acting as your shadow but much, much louder. It might make you uncomfortable, sure, because having someone always by your side is a little disorienting and overwhelming at times, but you’ll tolerate it – how can you tell Kyojuro no, anyway?

He’s so radiant when he’s giving you that smile, his eyes sparkling and his hands soft and gentle as he grasps onto yours, telling you that he’s so excited, we must try the new ramen shop down the street! I’ll order your favorite, you needn’t remind me what it is! I think we should share one, and perhaps a second or third…

(It’s probably not worth mentioning to him that you never even told him what your favorite is, he just seemed to know it, a fact that initially unnerved you, but you’ve found that guessing what you’ll like seems to be a talent of his. It’s not, of course, because he’s spent hours talking with any family members or friends of yours to learn every possible scrap of information about you that he can, introducing himself as your fiancé and charming them enough to get even the most sensitive secrets out of them, including your menstrual patterns, your bathing routine, even your temperament as a child because he’s convinced it will give him insight into the temperaments of your future – and inevitable – children together.)

You’ll disregard his penchant for always staying by your side in the beginning, but as time progresses it’ll become more difficult to let his behavior roll off your back.

Accompanying you to the market is fine, but you’ll bite your lip and find the courage to speak up when he ends up straying a good five feet behind you, his bright eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he keeps pace with you.

(When you turn around to ask him why he’s not walking with you, but rather trailing behind you like some sort of stalker, he’ll just laugh and tell you in that familiar, boisterous voice that he can protect you better this way! Besides, the view from this angle is excellent! Dissecting that last comment will only make you more uncomfortable, so you simply nod and keep walking, picking up your pace and desperately wishes you’d be arriving sooner.)

Him wanting to meet all your friends and acquaintances is fine, but when he’s pushing his way into the conversation and snaking an arm around your waist, you’ll feel just as awkward as your companions, disturbed by the casual manner with which Kyojuro handles you.

(This almost always leads to the assumption that the two of you are together, which you’ll frantically shake your head to, spouting some nonsense about being just friends that makes Kyojuro’s brows cock inwards, sending a glance at you with quizzical eyes. Just friends? You are certainly friends, but you’re more than that – friends don’t daydream about each other, and friends certainly don’t spend nights with ragged breaths, bucking hips, and the other’s name slipping from their lips like a prayer.)

He’s just a lot, and while you knew this from the beginning, time will only increase his behavior, pushing him more and more into spending time with you, into writing you letters while he’s away on a mission (they’re mostly detailing how much he misses you, telling you of each object and person that reminded him of you, and while it would be sweet, the sheer volume and frequency of these letters will make you loathed to open them), even into pushing past your boundaries and being much, much too familiar with you.

(You’ll bid him goodnight after he’s walked you home from the meal he insisted you share, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint and instead waltzes straight into your modest home, settling himself at your tableside and beaming at you, telling you to join me, my flame, I wish to hear about your deepest desires! He won’t insist on staying the night, as that would be too inappropriate for a not yet married couple – which he seems to be insinuating the two of you are – and will eventually take his leave, but not before gently grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss against your knuckles that’s much, much too wet, and far too long.)

His clinginess can be suffocating, of course, but once you’re stuck with him, forced to live in the Rengoku estate and call him your husband?

Well, if you thought he was needy before, it’s nothing compared to the way he treats you then – constantly wandering hands (concentrated mostly at your waist, hips, and squeezing your thighs), compliments that toe the line between heartfelt and disturbing (you are so very beautiful, particularly when you’re asleep – did you know that you smell a certain way when you’re unconscious? It’s sweet, like ripe fruit; I wish to smell it at all times), and those eyes always, always focused on you.

Every free moment he has goes into attending to you, whether you want it or not, so don’t even bother trying to get some distance from the Flame Pillar.

He will invade your space and he will not be regretful, his delusions most often barring him from even realizing that you’re uncomfortable.  

He’s simply a man who ardently admires and desires you, and at the end of the day, you can’t even really blame him. Because, as they say, love makes one do crazy things, and he’s certainly, certainly in love with you.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

When it comes to jealousy, Kyojuro is surprisingly relatively unaffected, all things considered.

He’s not someone who’s biting at your heels the moment another man spares you a glance, and while he obviously doesn’t like the way other men interact with you, he’s not nearly as suffocating regarding his possessiveness as some of his fellow Hashira.

He tends to give others the benefit of the doubt, and while he’s still very protective over you and would immediately step in if another man posed a threat to your safety or comfort, he doesn’t automatically assume that any man who interacts with you has nefarious intent.

And so, he doesn’t immediately grow jealous and snarl at any man stupid enough to come within a few feet of you – he’s not as depraved, at least in that sense.

(In others, absolutely, but if Kyojuro has one redeeming quality, it’s his judgement of character.)

However, this isn’t because of some moral high ground the Pillar possesses, or a firm sense of lucidity – in fact, it’s quite the opposite, as his delusions drive most of his indifference regarding other men giving you attention.

He’s so, so confident in the idea that you’re meant for one another that he honestly doesn’t even register that you could interested in another man, that you could be stolen away from him willingly, that you could fall in love with anyone but the Flame Hashira himself.

He just doesn’t get it, and so he isn’t as suffocating as he could be in these situations – no, not by a long shot, something you’re admittedly equal parts lucky and unlucky for.

Because really, while you won’t have to deal with the isolation that comes with extreme levels of possessiveness, being Kyojuro’s darling is certainly not an easy ride – how can it be, when he’s so blatantly unaware of the signs in front of him that a man is coming on to you, that he’s smiling and flirting with you and reaching out to brush the hair away from your eyes while you bashfully grin and laugh at his lame jokes?

How can you not be unsettled with the way he’s so unaffected, always spouting nonsense about how in love you two are, how perfect of a match you are, how no man would ever dare take you away from me – how could anyone break such a real bond of love?

It’s disturbing, and as time passes slowly you’ll come to realize that while he won’t drag you kicking and screaming away from another man trying to get more than familiar with you, the alternative of watching him broadcast what he perceives to be your ‘relationship’ to every stranger who makes eye contact with you will get old very quickly, the feeling of him almost trying to show you off making your skin crawl and a cold sweat break out over your hairline.

Kyojuro isn’t subtle, not in the least, which is why the minute another man approaches you, you should be ready – the embarrassment will be thick, as will the discomfort of everyone involved (except the Hashira himself, of course).

So you might as well stop trying to converse with other people – after all, Kyojuro has no problem acting on his intuition, so won’t you just not give him a reason to be so extravagant? 

The moment the man in the small market stall shoots you a shy smile and approaches you, there’s already a sinking feeling settling in your gut, the knowledge that your self-proclaimed ‘lover’ is only a few stalls down making you bite your lip in anxiety.

He’s polite, by all accounts – full lips a pleasant pink color ask you about your opinion on the newest shipment of melons, the fruit laid out in front of you in a pleasing display. There’s a respectful distance of a few feet between your bodies, and his voice is soft, calming, the complete opposite of the boisterous, loud slayer you’ve come to be so close with. It’s refreshing, and you shoot him a smile as well as you point to a certain melon on the display.

This one looks ripe – you can tell, you know, by the markings on the fruit. The more yellow spots, the better the texture will be.

The man’s still looking at you, but his gaze shifts to the fruit as he nods in agreement. He laughs a bit, then reaches out to pick up the melon. I’ll trust your advice, then.

 The interaction is somewhat short, sweet and innocent, and though you get the feeling that the man finds you attractive (the light blush on his cheeks tells you as much), you don’t feel particularly uncomfortable.

But all too soon the peace of the moment is ending, and a familiar call of your name has your spine stiffening, your throat bobbing as you heavily swallow. The call comes again, and all too soon there’s an unfortunately familiar hand settling on your waist, Kyojuro’s muscular arm wrapping around your body and pulling you flush against his side.

Being so close in public would normally embarrass you, but you can’t find it in yourself to care when you know what’s coming.

My flame, who is this? A friend of yours? Kyojuro asks, and before you can open your mouth to answer, the stranger does.

Oh, um, I’m Takeru.

He’s visibly uncomfortable, and as you try to subtly squirm out of the slayer’s grasp, Kyojuro’s smile only widens.

He nods his head lightly, his smile growing even brighter. A pleasure to meet you, Takeru! I am Kyojuro Rengoku, thank you for helping keep her safe at this busy market place!

The man – Takeru – shifts awkwardly, unsure how to respond to such a strange comment, but it doesn’t seem to stop your unwanted companion.

You see, she has such a habit of wandering away in crowded places, and it makes it hard to keep an eye on her! You’d be amazed at how often I’ve seen her trip and fall in places like these!

 He laughs at that, and you feel a new kind of embarrassment eat away at you. Does he really need to be sharing all this information?

Yes, it’s very crowded, Takeru agrees, and you silently send him a pleading look. He blinks at you, discomfort clearly swimming in the black depths of his dark eyes, and internally you beg Kyojuro to just drag you both away from the stranger.

She can be so forgetful, but that’s the wonderful thing about love! Despite her clumsiness, she is still graceful and elegant to me, and that’s a sign of true love, wouldn’t you agree?

Takeru nods, hesitantly, and you grit your teeth.

Kyojuro sighs dreamily from beside you, squeezing you even tighter against his side. And I do love her, of course! She is my soulmate, the future mother of my children, and every time I gaze at her, my devotion only grows deeper!

You’re visibly embarrassed now, trying to cover your face and desperately willing the interaction to just be over, but Kyojuro doesn’t seem to hear your silent prayers.

He grabs your wrist gently, his lips pressing kisses against the inside of your wrist, and immediately you’re eyes grow wide. Surely he wouldn’t, not in a public setting –

He cuts your thoughts off with a press of his lips against yours, the groan that he releases against you making you shiver in anything but pleasure. Your eyes are still open, and you see Takeru staring with a dropped jaw, evidently shocked at Kyojuro’s blatant display of affection.

Your brows furrow, and as he slips his tongue past your lips, you find yourself only able to focus on the way Kyojuro is growing louder, his groans getting more pronounced as the kiss grows hungrier, more desperate, feeling less like a tender, heartfelt sign of love.

After a good two minutes he finally pulls away, your lips feeling sticky and wet from his saliva. He stares down at you with heady eyes, his tongue licking his lips as he whispers your name under his breath.

You go to say his name, to ask him if you can just leave the market, but he cuts you off with a laugh.

Oh my flame, where did Takeru go? We must have scared him off with our display of passion! My sincere hopes that he’ll one day find a love like ours.

You very much don’t wish that, but as Kyojuro grasps your hand and guides you to the edge of the market place, passing through the spot Takeru had departed from during your sudden and overtly steamy kiss, you’ll find yourself sighing.

The blatant act of romance was unwarranted and unwanted, of course, but somehow your lips are tingling, your heart racing in shamefulness and something else – something that grows stronger and Kyojuro turns to look back at you, a grin stretching across his lips, his cheeks tinted pink as he gazes at you.

It’s wrong and you’ll hate it, every part of you screaming to not be fooled by the boyish look he’s giving you; he’s a slayer, a grown man who very clearly doesn’t understand that you are not future spouses, that you are not in love.

You’ll hate yourself for it, but even as he leads you back to your home, guiding you and not letting your hand go the whole way (even though you you’re very familiar with the route and don’t need his navigational help), you’ll find yourself almost, almost wishing he’d kiss you again – just not in front of a stranger this time.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Because he’s on the more delusional side, Kyojuro’s view of your relationship is warped.

He’s already eager in the context of romantic relationships, but in yours, specifically, he’s rushing through all the steps, too excited to get that gold ring on your finger and his last name replacing yours to really take his time with you.

And this becomes problematic particularly because you will have no idea, at least at first, that the Flame Hashira believes you’re courting one another, that it’s simply a matter of time before you’re keeping his bed warm and nursing his children.

And because of this quick timeline of your relationship, Kyojuro is actually quite quick to propose living together. Of course, it’s a bit taboo to be living under the same roof before you’re wed, but he’s willing to bend the traditional rules a bit if you put up any sort of opposition.

If you decline his blatant requests to live with him, he won’t relent. Initially, he’ll bluntly ask you in the middle of a shared meal if you’d like to move your belongings into the Rengoku mansion - I can have a few servants come to assist in the moving process, if you’d like, and of course I’ll be there to help carry anything heavy!

When you stare at him like he’s grown two heads, he’ll be a little confused, and curiously asks you why you seem to be shocked.

When you honestly respond, at a loss as to why he’s asking you to live with him when you’re very, very firmly just friends, Kyojuro will only laugh in response, his hand coming down to slap his knee because oh, you’re so funny, you sweet, coy little thing.

He’ll drop the subject that day, moving on to ask you about your thoughts about the weather or your favorite color or anything at all, greedy to hear your voice and bask in your attention.

But the next day, when he suddenly pops out of nowhere and accompanies you on your walk into town to buy a few necessities, the question is prompted once more.

I only have two separate futons, but I’m sure we could push them together! Similarly, I only have two blankets, but I’m sure my body heat will keep you warm!

You’ll be confused, giving yourself just a hair more distance between your bodies (he’d gotten very close without you noticing), throwing him a glance and worryingly asking what are you talking about?

He’s so nonchalant when he answers our sleeping arrangements, of course that it makes you wonder if you’ve missed something, if you’re somehow not in the loop because when the fuck did you agree to sleep in the same room as him, much less in such a position where you could feel his body heat?

You’ll negate his questions and try to change the topic once more, but Kyojuro is relentless - everyday there will be a new question of when you’ll inevitably be living together, and with every day he gets more and more restless to finally have you in his arms as he sleeps, to come home to you after long missions, to relish in the sight of you peacefully reading or crafting in the morning sun, wearing his clothing and smelling like him.

He’s a patient man, yes, but even Kyojuro has his limits - and he finally reaches this limit when one day he can’t seem to find you anywhere.

It’s like you’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth - he’d wanted to spend some time with you (really, he’d just finished his allotted training for the day and had been idly daydreaming about holding your hand the whole time, and was now in desperate need of finding you to intertwine your fingers with his), but your home was empty and none of your neighbors seemed to remember seeing you leave.

Immediately worry is eating away at him, because his sole job as your future lover and husband is to keep tabs on you and protect you, and he’d been too busy focusing on himself and getting stronger to fulfill his duty.

He searches for you in all the common spots he knows you visit, and with each empty location his desperation gets a bit more extreme, his panic slowly engulfing him because where the fuck could you be?

Eventually he’s sprinting around the general area you reside in, running mile after mile as his smile slips away and his entire body grows sweaty, his heart racing and even a few tears threatening to well in his eyes because he can’t stomach the thought that you’ve been hurt somehow, that someone has stolen you, that you’re simply gone.

It’s not until the evening that he eventually stumbles upon you, your pretty kimono stained with a bit of dirt as the bottom hem and your shoulders a bit slumped from the heavy bag slung over them, your limbs aching from the long journey it’d taken to visit a friend a few villages over.

He happens to run by you along the path, and immediately he’s stopping and staring, his chest visibly heaving, his eyes wide and vulnerable as he blinks, pinching himself to make sure this is real, that you’re really standing in front of him, that you haven’t been devoured like he’d been imagining.

But all too soon he’s rushing forward, the wind knocked out of your lungs as he tackles you to the ground, clutching you against his chest as he bombards you with questions, slurred and rushed as he asks if you’re okay, are you hurt? Where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you’d be gone today? Did you speak to anyone? Did anyone touch you? Were you scared without me?

He’s speaking so quickly and loudly into your ear that you can’t even get a response in, his voice slightly uneven and betraying the influx of emotion swimming through his chest. He’ll pull back to gaze at you, thumbs brushing over your cheek, before smiling softly and pressing a soft, long kiss to your forehead, whispering to you that you’ll be safe now, my love, forever.

Then it all goes black, and you wake up dressed in a much too nice kimono, sleeping in an ornate room in a futon you don’t recognize, familiar eyes trained on your form as his seated figure watches you slowly wake up beside him. 

As a captor, Kyojuro is mostly just suffocating.

Because he still heavily believes in the delusions he’s been nursing since the beginning of his infatuation with you, he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done. He doesn’t see his relocation of you as kidnapping, nor does he understand why you seem so unhappy to be with him.

It was inevitable that you’d be sharing the same home and bed, didn’t you know?

Why do you seem so surprised when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you flush against his body, spooning you and sighing your name into your ear with just a bit too much reverence?

Why are you flinching away from him when he pulls you close for a kiss, his calloused fingers gently grasping your chin as he whispers between wet, loud kisses that he loves you, that he’s more in love with you than you could possibly imagine, my flame, you are my light in eternal darkness.

He’s sappy and too much and always hovering around you, his presence smothering you in every sense of the word. He’s clingy and needy, always wanting to be watching you and simply observe you, because even though he now spends nearly every hour of every day he has off in your presence, everything you do is still special to him, interesting and wonderful and important, and he has no sense of boundaries.

He will be standing close to you, practically breathing down your neck. He will ask you all sorts of personal questions, ranging from things like your greatest fears and most embarrassing moments to your menstrual cycle and which spots feel best when you’re touching yourself to the thought of him.

(He assumes you must pleasure yourself while thinking of him, because he does, too, religiously, every night, your pretty face and voice and body at the forefront of his thoughts as he paints his fist white over and over and over.)

He doesn’t see any reason why there should be any sort of barriers between the two of you, because you’re soulmates - made for one another, destined to spend your lives together, your fates irrefutably intertwined and brought together by the unyielding, passionate love you possess for one another.

And, unfortunately, this lack of barriers manifests itself in some pretty undesirable ways - you’ll be sharing one singular toothbrush, for example, Kyojuro insisting that it’s romantic and sweet and becoming of a young couple to share everything with one another, even their saliva.

He’s having the two of you share undergarments; they’re all made of soft, smooth cloth, in a variety of neutral colors that he’ll wear for the day, then shuffle up your legs the next day, smiling and licking his lips because the fabric that spent all day pressed up against him is now pressed up against you.

(And, on days where you’re particularly unlucky, sometimes Kyojuro lets his thoughts run a bit wild once he’s wearing them, his eyes fluttering closed as he imagines you and subtly ruts against his palm as he waits for nightfall in the small village his next mission is in, the time passing slowly until he’s gasping your name and staining the undergarment with wet warmth, already giddy and excited to have you wear them tomorrow, unwashed.)

He’ll even sometimes share food - and not in a sweet, romantic way, but rather in a raw, connected way; he’ll take a bit of food and chew it, then press his lips against yours and push it into your mouth, encouraging you to chew as well, before eventually kissing you once more and swallowing it all himself, his grin nearly blinding because now he’s eaten both the meal and you, or at least a bit of your spit.

He’s just weird, and while he’s constantly showering you in compliments and spoiling you with anything and everything under the sun, it’ll be hard to adjust to this new, strange lifestyle simply because he doesn’t really allow you time to adjust.

He’s expecting everything to be sunshine and roses from the moment you wake up as a freshly kidnapped darling, his expectations high that you’ll be pliant and willing and happy to learn that you’re finally, finally together.

And while it takes a lot of disobedience from you to snap him out of his rose colored view of you, Kyojuro is doing everything in his power to make sure that your relationship is perfect, that he’s taking good care of you and loving you as he should.

Which leads to another important aspect of being his darling - he doesn’t see women is inferior in any way (Shinobu and Mitsuri alone have dispelled that image), but he likes the idea of you being his housewife, fulfilling traditionally feminine duties.

He likes the idea of you taking care of the home, making sure dinner is cooked and served for him in the evening (he’ll often send a crow your way when he’s heading home after missions, just so that you can prepare for his arrival - normally, this means a meal and very little clothing adorning your frame, so that he can feast on your delicious food and then your delicious body), and attending to his every need as he does you.

He likes the idea of you keeping the mansion clean and eagerly awaiting his return home when he’s away, your devotion to him keeping you motivated to make sure everything is perfectly in order for him.

He’s trying for children very, very early on, his thrusts slow, deep and meaningful as he kisses you and promises that this will finally be the load that takes, because the mere idea of you swollen with his child and needing his help to do things even as simple as sitting down makes him giddy and unbearably excited.

And he doesn’t want just one child - oh no, he wants many, as many as you’re willing to give him.

He wants the perfect family with you, and as your captor, he won’t try to hide this wish. You will be made aware that he wants you to dote on him, that he wants you to spread your legs and conceive his child, that he wants you you you.

(He’s discussing potential names with you within the first week of having kidnapped you, his fingers idly tracing over your stomach as he tells you that the first born must be named Shinjuro, then perhaps we’ll have a daughter, and she can be named Hana! But we must also have some named Takeru, Ucharo, Nakagome, Watabe, and of course Shigeru! And after that, if you have any names in mind, we can surely name the following children them!)

 Kyojuro isn’t necessarily bad, per se, as he does genuinely spoil you and give you all the time and attention and physical affection he can, but you’ll feel weighed down, crushed, drowning in the way he always seems to take and take from you.

But eventually, you will grow dependent on him - how can you not? He’s still so sweet with all the compliments he gives you (a little deranged, perhaps, but the sentiment is there), the reverence in his eyes when he gazes at you, the gentleness and eagerness in his touch when he has his hands on you.

He’s complicated, yes, but life with him will be so very simple - just bend to his whims, and perhaps you’ll even enjoy the way he hugs you so tightly it nearly hurts, or how he limits the number of servants who are allowed to speak with you - he just loves you, and is it so wrong to enjoy being loved?

PUNISHMENTS:

As his darling, you’re somewhat lucky that Kyojuro is as delusional as he is, if only because it keeps him mostly blind to any misbehavior and attitude you can throw at him.

Of course, he has his limits, but in general he’s able to write off any snarky comments of yours or slight attempts to put distance between the two of you as you simply you trying to be funny, barking out a laugh and moving even closer to you, pressing into your space even more, making sure there’s not an inch of space between your bodies.

Or, sometimes, he interprets your very blatant rebellions against him as you simply trying to test his resolve – he thinks you’re trying to force him into showing just how deeply he loves you, as if you’re testing just how strong his feelings for you are.

And while he finds this just the slightest bit offensive (you’re doubting his love for you – his passion for you; can you not tell that his heart beats only for you? Can you not see that alongside his duty to the Corp, you’re the reason he breaths, the reason he wakes up in the morning, the reason he’s alive?), it mostly serves as motivation for him to love you harder, to become more expressive with his feelings.

It pushes him to hug you tighter, his fingers nearly leaving bruises with the strength of his grip around you, the hugs going much longer and getting more intimate, if the brush of something big and hard against your thigh is any indication.

It pushes him to compliment you more, the words falling from his lips with such conviction that it’ll almost make you flustered, if the content wasn’t so unnerving.

(There’s lots of you are so beautiful, my flame, but there’s also a lot of you look so peaceful in your sleep, it makes me want to lock you away forever and keep you mine and deep inhales followed by your scent sets me on fire, my love, you don’t know what you do to me.)

He views most of your rebellions as simply you trying to catch his attention, perhaps being a sign that you feel you’re being neglected by all the missions he must leave you and attend to.

And frankly, Kyojuro doesn’t blame you – he wishes he could give you more attention too, because although he feels his job is wildly fulfilling and the morally correct thing to do, a more selfish part of his heart yearns to spend his days with you in his hands instead of his sword, your body curled up against his while he keeps you warm and tells you how deeply he loves you.

And because of all the different avenues he employs to simply disregard any negative behavior from you, punishments with Kyojuro are extremely rare. It takes quite a bit to push him into reality for even a brief moment, to force him to come face to face with the fact that you aren’t happy and that you don’t love him.

He only has a few triggers that can be powerful enough to force him into this mindset – you harming yourself, and you attempting to escape.

When you injure yourself, it’s difficult to rationalize why you would have done that, but he’s normally able to scold you (with condescending words and tone, that same smile stretched across his lips), telling you to be more careful and let me prepare your bath next time, all burns from hot water must be avoided in the future! But you trying to escape is not so easy to twist into a pleasing fantasy of his.

It’s much harder to understand why you’re ceaselessly trying to break open the windows of the estate, to the point where your knuckles bleed and your elbows bruise. It’s harder to understand why you try to work at the lock keeping the main doors sealed, your poor fingernails splitting and aching from all the tugging and pulling.

He’s not sure why you’re going through so much trouble – surely there must be easier ways to get his attention. Surely there must be less painful and pitiful methods to get him fawning over you and proving his dedication to you – so why aren’t you taking them? Why are you choosing this difficult path, one that makes him apprehensive to leave you alone for more than thirty seconds?

(Not that that’s the only reason he’s hesitant to leave you alone – his clinginess and desire for your physical touch is the bulk majority – but it’s still a major player.)

And when he asks you, with his arms wrapped around your abdomen, your own arms flailing and your legs kicking at anything you can reach, your answer will have him pausing for a moment, an unwelcome feeling of reality washing back over him.

Because I hate being here, I want to go home! Please, let me go home!

His spine goes straight at that, his eyes widening ever so slightly, your punches and kicks to his shoulders and thighs doing nothing to faze him. You want… to go home? But aren’t you already home, by his side?

His grip tightens on you, a sort of displeased hum ringing in your ears. He’s carrying you away from the front doors and down the convoluted hallways of the estate, his grip on you never weakening.

Your words repeat over and over in his head, each replay confusing him more and more. You aren’t happy being here? With him? He bites his lip, bright eyes glancing down at you in his arms, with big tears slipping down your cheeks and your shoulders shaking with poorly concealed sobs.

This doesn’t seem like an attempt at gaining his attention – why would you go through such lengths? In all his time of falling in love with you, he’s never known you to be such a good actor.

Your tears look real, as does the sound of your voice when you whisper his name and weakly pound your fist against his chest, begging him to let me go home, I can’t be here any longer, I can’t stand it!

He sets you down onto the bed of the bedroom he’s brought you into – the bedroom where he forces you to sleep beside him, your nightclothes sticking to your skin with the heat that radiates from his body and the sheer proximity his forced cuddling creates.

He’ll watch as you scramble away from him, curling your knees to your chest and looking up at him with such raw, pained eyes, and for a moment it makes Kyojuro’s heart clench, genuine regret rushing through him.

Has he made you this upset? Is he the reason for your anguish? It makes something heavy and uncomfortable settle into his chest, and it’s that driving force that pushes him to come closer to you, matching your every scoot away from him with a step towards you.

Eventually your back hits the wall and he kneels before you, his face mere inches from your own.

Tell me, my flame, why are you so displeased?

 His question makes you gulp, but before you can stop yourself your mouth is already moving, every repressed thought and emotion you’ve felt the last few weeks you’ve been stuck with him finally coming to light.

Because you’re a monster! You’ve kidnapped me and forced me into being your wife, and you have the audacity to ask me why I’m upset? I can’t stay with you, Kyojuro, not here, not anywhere! We aren’t in love – you’re mistaken, I don’t love you and whatever this is, it’s not love, so don’t tell me you love me! Please, just let me return to my home and family, I beg of you.

You cut yourself off with a small sob, and as your eyes flutter closed for a brief moment, your blood runs cold when they reopen.

You’ve never seen Kyojuro look like this – gone is that familiar grin of his, instead replaced with a harsh, straight, tight lipped expression. His eyes no longer hold any of the warmth and adoration he normally gazes at you with – rather, they seem unbearably cold, the heavy weight of his stare making you shrink in on yourself despite your rather brave speech. And something about his presence feels much larger than you’ve ever experienced it – it’s in this moment that you realize just how defined and huge the muscles he’s sporting across his upper and lower body are, the man before you holding more strength in his pinky finger than you in all of your body.

It’s crushing, the sick, horrible feeling that something is terribly wrong making your every hair stand on end, your breath ragged as you wait for his next move. Kyojuro nods slowly, his expression not changing.

I see.

You bite your lip, anxiety making a pit form in your stomach.

You need to be reminded of what’s important, my flame. You’ve become misguided – but don’t fret, I will help guide you back to the path. This will hurt, but with time you’ll understand my actions and perhaps even thank me for them.

His words have red flags raising immediately in your mind, but before you can really even process your own questions, his hand is shooting out grasping on of yours, fingers pressing against the pad of your index finger and pushing pushing pushing –

There’s a sickening crunch noise that fills your ears, and everything feels numb for a moment before white-hot, acute agony rushes through you, your finger already swelling and throbbing from the broken bone now within it.

Kyojuro watches as you sob harder, your eyes red and puffy as you look at him, your gaze weak and, quite frankly, pitiful. He only takes a deep breath, his Adam’s apple bobbing, before moving to the next finger, a matching crunch sound only making you cry harder.

Eventually, each finger on your left hand is broken, his hands already moving to start on your right. He’s quick about each break, not letting the pain linger any longer than absolutely necessary, but it doesn’t matter.

By the time he finishes with your right thumb, you’re nearly numb from the pain, your tears having run dry as you shake and jerk with every hiccup and sob that wracks your frame. The sight hurts Kyojuro, truly – and he’ll tell you as much.

Shh, oh my flame, don’t cry – I know it hurts terribly, but so does my heart. Do you see now? Do you see that I love you? I’m showing you that our love is real and pure – I will nurse you back to your proper health. I will be your hands when you cannot touch, and I will stay at your bedside every free moment to keep you company and ensure a quick recovery. Do you understand now? This is your home – no one can care for you in the way that I can.

His voice is soft, with a certain condescending lilt to it that only makes you dumbly nod, the pain still rendering you numb to your surroundings. And as Kyojuro carefully picks you up once more, moving you to your shared futon and gently tucking you under the covers, he’ll quickly gather some small sticks and medical gauze, wrapping each finger and cooing at you all the while.

And as he places a kiss onto each finger tip once its wrappings are complete, you’ll find yourself considering his words.

The conviction to individually break each finger of your lover is certainly no joke – perhaps he could be correct? Is this love?

Is the way he'll carefully feed you your meals as your wounds heal a sign of his truly undying feelings for you?

Is the way he bathes you (with wandering hands and stuttered breaths) a sign that he does truly care for you?

Is the way he helps you use the restroom without the use of your own hands a sign that he’ll truly stand by your side through darkness and light?

Your brain screams no, every ounce of your independence fighting the stream of questions, but some part of you finds comfort in the notion, in believing Kyojuro when he says that he loves you.

And as the days pass and your injuries slowly heal, your captor’s constant presence by your side helping to keep you clean, healthy and well fed, you’ll find that part of you growing louder and louder, drowning out your mind.

Because really, does it even matter? Kyojuro Rengoku is a man of dedication and unwavering devotion – and if he wants you to love him, isn’t it only a matter of time before he succeeds?

After all, who are you to stand your ground in the face of someone like him?

OVERALL DANGER:

 6/10

Kyojuro isn’t necessarily dangerous, or at least in the sense of being a threat to your life. He’s clingy and needy and out of touch with reality, of course, but he doesn’t enjoy the notion of hurting you. He’s willing to, if it’s his only choice, but you’ll never need to worry that any hidden sadistic tendencies of his will emerge. He’ll never suddenly develop the desire to see you cry, nor will he suddenly discard you should his feelings dissipate.

Once his infatuation begins, Kyojuro is committed to making sure that you stay healthy, happy, and – most importantly – by his side.

He’s convinced that he’s the one that can make you happy, that he can give you the most perfect, loving future, filled with laughter, kisses, stolen touches and even a few children with bright yellow and red hair running around the estate.

He’s convinced that he can make you happy, that he already does make you happy, and it will be extremely difficult to snap him out of this fantasy he’s created for the two of you.

He’s an influential man with extreme importance, and you’d be extremely hard pressed to find anyone who would even believe you if you were to somehow escape him, if you were to somehow catch on to his nefarious intentions before he’s stolen you away.

It’s the combination of being surrounded by death, and a yearning to be happy and build a loving family that pushes him to pursue you, developing a future with you feeling so fucking important that he simply can’t resist the drive to court you, to wed you, to see your gorgeous smile and the pretty golden ring with flames engraved on it around your finger.

He’s simply a man in love, and if that love means his hands on your body, pulling you closer and closer and closer until you can hardly breath, so be it.

It’s only natural for something as powerful as love to create such a strong devotion, and isn’t it oddly romantic, in a way? To know that someone as powerful, important and revered as Kyojuro is in love with little old you?

Doesn’t it make you feel good to know you have the Flame Pillar wrapped around your finger, that he’d get on his knees for you at just the merest flutter of your lashes?

He’s truly in love, so embrace it with open arms – he sure is, and things will be much, much better for you the sooner you accept the love he’s so frantically delivering to you.

[dykealloy]

Rec list please ✍️🏻

(with tropes and just a smidge of reason why the media is recommended <- both very optional of course)

oh boy. okay. Confession time, I've watched a ridiculous number of shows out of east Asia so this is a good opportunity to share some faves from recent memory. If there's going to be one running through-line with these recs it's that I love character-driven narratives which explore interesting interpersonal relationships (socio-cultural commentary is a plus).

In no ranked order, here's my top ten:

Hamster running the emotional gamut wheel (well-written stories about grief, closure and family)

Move to Heaven (2021) Korea, 10 episodes, Netflix Summary: Han Geu-ru is an autistic 20-year-old who works for his father’s business “Move To Heaven”, a company that specializes in crime scene cleanup, where they collect and arrange items left by the deceased and deliver them to the bereaved family. When Geu-ru's father dies, his guardianship passes to his uncle, ex-convict and underground MMA fighter Cho Sang-gu. Per the father's will, Sang-gu must care for and work with Geu-ru for three months to gain full guardianship and claim the inheritance. Eying money, Sang-gu agrees to the conditions and moves in.

This show knows exactly what it is and executes with excellent writing and characterisation. While it does have an overarching narrative, Move to Heaven is structured so that you're exploring a different person's story each episode, so it has a lot of flexibility to explore themes of grief and closure through different lives and relationships, and when I tell you this show can hit emotional beats... (<- may or may not have cried through most episodes on my first watch-through. Emotional terrorism). These stories are really beautifully portrayed and though there are effective comedic beats, there's this clear authenticity in not needing to undercut or distance oneself from the vulnerability of the subject matter.

Geu-ru and his uncle (Sang-gu) add a lot of needed levity, with Geu-ru's need for consistent, structured, methodical routines constantly clashing with Sang-gu's chaotic and combative approach to life. Sang-gu's character arc (though predictable) is just so satisfying. It's kinda hilarious seeing Geu-ru (and his father by extension) inadvertently poke more and more holes in Sang-gu's initial plan of "take the money and run" the deeper he incorporates himself into the space and purpose that his brother once took up, and it's very heartwarming to see these polar opposites slowly develop a respect and appreciation for one another.

Tropes: reluctant to responsible parental figure, tear-jerker

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble (2023) Taiwan, 12 episodes, GTV and iQIYI Summary: Pu Yi-yong was a typical 17-year-old student with a passion for drawing and a hereditary talent for calligraphy. After he wakes up from a bus accident that claimed his father's life and left him in a coma for two years, a 19-year-old Yi-yong must now find his place in the world again. This becomes more complicated when spirits begin approaching him and asking for his help.

This show actually has a lot of similarities to Move to Heaven e.g. exploring different side-stories each episode, focus on victims forgotten by society (the lonely, the homeless, the outcasts and the minorities), themes of grief and closure, polar opposite characters learning to work together, breaking me emotionally at some point. But Oh No! Here Comes Trouble differs in tone (distinct directing style), quirky humour (Taiwanese comedic style is just different and I love it in this show) and presentation (urban fantasy/mystery).

Yi-yong might be one of my all time favourite characters in media. From the outset he presents as this classic, one-dimensional, grumpy delinquent teen (e.g. resting-bitch-face syndrome, scrappy mullet, academically behind, no social grace and a tendency to accidentally hit people in the face with softballs). As fun as that is, the more you watch, the more this show challenges these assumptions. Yi-yong's mum (also an A+ character, god I love her) is a hairdresser, and often uses Yi-yong as her stylistic guinea pig. Yi-yong's not super intelligent, but he's compassionate (albeit at times reluctantly so). He really listens when people talk to him, whether they're trying to comfort him, give him advice, or asking him for assistance (though he often questions and expresses frustrations about his own ability to help other people). There's a humble gentleness to him.

Yi-yong was already struggling to juggle his dreams of becoming a comic artist with the practicalities of his life before he fell into a coma, then he woke up two years later, having completely missed the perceived "pivotal juncture" associated with the transition from youth to adulthood. Time moved on, and so have his peers, leaving an almost 20-year-old Yi-yong lost at sea with no paddle, no map and grieving the loss of his father. And now he has supernatural beings approaching him and insisting that he is the key to settling their unfinished business. To Yi-yong (and to popular east-asian social standards), Yi-yong is a loser. He's academically unintelligent, has no clear aspirations or discipline or future prospects, his family is far from wealthy, he's got zero social status, smarts or rank. Yi-yong is just as much of a forgotten outcast to society as these spirits are.

He does eventually get assistance in the form of Chen Chuying - a junior police officer (helping substantially with the mystery investigation side of things) and Cao Guangyan - former one-sided rival schoolmate and current med student who coincidentally moves next door (initially maintains the outsider perspective of Yi-yong as a hooligan until they get to know each other a little better, by which point Guangyan is already helping Yi-yong get back on his feet) who form a very well-rounded, loveable cast.

I wish I could talk more about this show, I am very fond of it. Please do watch it and if anyone wants to discuss it my dms are open.

Tropes: ragtag trio of idiots, urban fantasy, mystery, tear-jerker, reluctant hero

Get your pussy up get your money up (life is giving lemons and survival is the name of the game)

Honourable mentions here: Yeon Sang-ho popped off with Train to Busan in 2016 and South Korea has been throwing bangers into one of my favourite genre pools ever since. If you're interested in more zombie series I would strongly recommend checking out All of Us are Dead (2022), Happiness (2021), Sweet Home (2020) and Kingdom (2019).

A Shop for Killers (2024) Korea, 8 episodes, Netflix Summary: Jeong Ji-An tragically loses her parents as a young girl. Her reserved and mysterious estranged uncle, Jeong Jinman, acts as her sole guardian and care-taker, raising her with tough love and a survivalist mindset until she leaves for university. One day, Jung Ji-An hears that her uncle has suddenly passed away, and returns home, where she learns the truth behind her uncle's business and by extension, her past.

Ji-An is locked inside a building with no communication with the outside world, nowhere to go, and with assassins after her head (not ideal). Unbeknownst to Ji-An though, her late uncle Jinman prepared a thorough defense system for this very event, setting her up with home-terf advantage and a very dangerous fortress against this army.

Ji-An and Jinman's story is told mainly through flashbacks as Ji-An attempts to survive the raid on their home. Their dynamic is definitely a repeat of the stoic, initially cold father-figure type "I am neither your mum or your dad, and I can never be" to the orphan child that we've been seeing more recently of late. I'm not mad about it. It's a good formula. I won't go into the type of person Jinman is, or the nature of his work/business. Going in blind and slowly figuring this out with Ji-An was a big plus in terms of the viewing experience for me.

Tropes: reluctant parental figure, home alone antics

D.P. (2021) Korea, 12 episodes, Netflix Summary: Ahn Junho is enlisted to serve in the South Korean Army as part of his national service obligations. He eventually goes to the Army's Military Police. While getting used to life in the MP, Junho's street smarts lands him in the D.P. (Deserter Pursuit) unit. Junho is assigned with Corporeal Han Hoyeol to capture deserters, revealing the painful reality endured by each enlistee during their compulsory duty.

imo D.P.'s is at its most enjoyable when Junho and Hoyeol are working as detectives with limited time and resources. Hoyeol's presence especially adds needed levity. He's like the show's own eccentric little court jester (at least until season 2, where he becomes the show's own tortured little court jester). You don't know how much you're missing Hanyeol until he shows up and you're finally given some space to breathe.

This show's gotten a lot of praise for its realistic social commentary around the vicious cycle of bullying, hazing practices, corruption and abuse within the South Korean military. It's well written and fast-paced, and it definitely doesn't pull its punches. I probably wouldn't recommend this show were it not for the quality of its writing, its ability to balance the depressing subject matter with pockets of dark comedy and everyone's favourite dynamic duo Junho and Han Hoyeol. All the content warnings for this one.

Tropes: ptsd, abuse, brotherhood, idk man straight up not having a good time

Weak Hero Class (2022) Korea, 8 episodes, Viki Summary: Straight-A student and loner Yoon Sieun utilizes his wits and tools to defend himself from a boys school full of shit-heads. He slowly warms up to Ahn Sooho, the school's strongest fighter, and Oh Beomseuk, the new transfer Student.

Sieun is here to answer the age-old philosophical question: "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?" Even though Sieun is physically lacking, he's very capable of baring his teeth and using his smarts to fight like hell. It's so cathartic to finally see a short, weak, bullied protagonist willing to go violently feral upon provocation.

This show's tone can get pretty dark and surprisingly violent. The true core behind why a lot of people love this show is Sieun and Sooho's friendship. Sieun starts off as a grumpy, glaring, withdrawn hermit with no interest in anything that isn't studying (honestly idk how Sieun keeps finding himself in these situations like. All the kid ever wanted was to hit the books). I won't spoil too much, but watching as Sooho slowly peels away that protective shell Sieun encases around himself is a thing of beauty. I strongly recommend you give the first episode a go (free on youtube).

Tropes: angst, bromance, badass bookworm, adults are useless, abusive parents

Detectives smashing you over the head repeatedly with gay subtext (not explicitly gay but if you have a brain and any semblance of a gaydar that thing is going to be going off like a geiger counter next to the elephant foot)

The Devil judge (2021) Korea, 16 episodes, Netflix and Viki Summary: Set in a dystopian version of present-day South Korea, the world is bereft of law and order and the court justice process has become like a reality tv show. Head Trial Judge Kang Yohan mercilessly punishes the guilty and corrupt, earning him the "Devil Judge" monicker. As bitter rivalry takes shape between Yohan and the highly ambitious Jung Sun-ah, who has risen from poverty to become a corporate social responsibility foundation director. Into this turbulent world enter two childhood friends on a mission for true justice and determined to discover the secret Yohan is hiding: rookie judge Kim Gaon and detective Yoon Su-hyun.

The Devil Judge tackles the concept of the anti-hero (battling evil with evil) and questions why these figures are idolized by the public. It also challenges the naive faith in the rule of law and whether or not the established systems should be upheld or not. The screenwriter has however made it very clear that he focused way more on the relationship between the characters than conveying his own message and boy oh boy is that reflected in whatever Yohan and Gaon have got going on (serious come-hither eyes, gratuitous physical touch, themes of power, justice and corruption, Yohan pressing Gaon up against the nearest hard surface on at least four separate occasions, etc.).

Kang Yohan, the titular anti-hero/main protagonist operates within a failed state and a corrupted judiciary. To a certain extent he knows the self-destructive path he walks is doomed to fail, but to right the system and take revenge, he's on the lookout for a someone that can out him as the Devil and become the messiah that Yohan himself cannot be. It does come off as very "anime" at times (theatrical presentation, tragic backstories, bad writing when it comes to women, naive characters and overly dramatic tone) but hey, if you have very few qualms with that, chances are you're going to have a blast.

Also the OST for this show absolutely fucks. It has no right being this good. Jung Se Rin really popped off. I have Enemy of Truth as a staple in a lot of my playlists.

Tropes: idealist vs jerkass pragmatist, anti-hero/vigilante, whump

The Worst of Evil (2023) Korea, 12 episodes Summary: Set in the 1990s, a former DJ starts selling a new powerful drug. Since the police know little about its origin, rural police officer Park Junmo is assigned to go undercover and infiltrate the criminal empire responsible for the drug trade between Korea, Japan, and China. Junmo later discovers that his wife, Yoo Euijung, also a detective, has volunteered to participate in this dangerous mission and seems to have a past with the underground drug king (and Junmo's boss), Jung Gicheul. The deeper Junmo entrenches himself as Gicheul's subordinate, the more unrecognisable he becomes to those closest to him.

Junmo could have let Gicheul die or slip away like several times in a row, indicates he has zero idea why he does this, then says the line verbatim "I look up to him and I like him and my body follows my heart". What am I supposed to take away from this. This show has everything. Early 90s homoerotic cigarette lighting, sodomy, incredible cinematography, betrayal, close-ups of Junmo's bloody face squished up against Gicheul's thigh. There's some scenes where Junmo is looking at both his wife and Gicheul framed in the same shot like the goddamn camera is daring you to question who he is more jealous of. My biggest complaint is that there was quite literally no need for a wife-stealing plot - the most compelling, messiest gay situationship was right there for the taking.

In episode 9 post-gang war hallway-slaughter, a blood-soaked Junmo hops up onto a table on all fours with a knife between his teeth, locks eyes with Gicheul then proceeds to slash a man's achilles tendon and if you listen closely enough you'll hear me in the background screaming YOU HAVE BECOME HIS DOG. 10/10 watch this show.

Tropes: mafia, undercover, bodyguard, make him worse, devotion and loyalty gone bad gone nuclear, maybe if they fucked nasty about it we wouldnt be in this mess

Beyond evil (2021) would also go here and has similar vibes to the above two, but I personally don't have much to say about it. Unhinged slutty old man, gay stuff going on over there, etc, etc. Citrinekay sums it up nicely here. Guardian (2018) would probably also go here. Definitely check these out if you enjoy/like the sound of these shows.

Lighthearted fun romance (I am not escaping the lesbian fujoshi accusations)

Cherry Magic (2020) Japan, 12 episodes Summary: Adachi is a salaryman with low confidence and a tendency for self-deprecation, resulting in him often acting awkward around others, not being sure how to assert himself in the workplace, and constantly comparing himself to the company's golden boy - Kurosawa. Things become further complicated when Adachi finds out after his thirtieth birthday that he has suddenly gained the magical power to hear people's thoughts if he touches them. Adachi struggles with his newfound touch telepathy when he accidentally discovers Kurosawa is in love with him.

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard!? (Yes that is the full title, Japan you are killing me) is very sweet and wholesome and the humour hits and I believe in Kurosawa Yuichi supremacy. I know self-deprecating characters can be a downer for some people but Adachi comes off as very relatable and seeing him slowly gain more confidence in himself and his abilities is heartwarming. Great serotonin-booster. If you find this show's premise interesting there's a high likelihood you will enjoy it.

I didn't care so much for the second couple but if you're like me it's easy to skip through these scenes (you won't be missing anything).

Tropes: office romance, telepathy, pining

Semantic Error (2022) Korea, 8 episodes, Viki and Netflix (region-dependent) Summary: Cho Sangwoo is the epitome of an inflexible and strict rule-abiding person. When talented graphic design major Jaeyoung discovers Sangwoo is the cause for his delayed university graduation, he sets out to take revenge (by becoming Sangwoo's biggest, brightest daily annoyance). Jaeyoung finds himself in hot water when he inadvertently develops a crush, and junior computer science major Sangwoo is about to encounter some serious errors in his usual programming.

This is a classic polar opposites attract story, with Jaeyoung the loud, extroverted, brash foil to Sangwoo's reserved, withdrawn, morally black-and-white, logic-first persona. As much fun as it is to see Sangwoo's ordered world thrown into chaos, it's equally enjoyable to witness Jaeyoung jump from being obsessively committed to annoying Sangwoo, to being whipped for him (and the subsequent difficulties this causes for Jaeyoung - a popular, attractive, talented, bi artist used to getting his way - in trying to pursue a highly irritated and emotionally closed-off Sangwoo, who is being challenged with a side of himself he hasn't had to grapple with up until now). Also Jaeyoung has an incredibly hot lesbian best friend which was great. for me specifically.

An entertaining, cohesive story with great actors who have fantastic chemistry. What more can you ask for?

Tropes: enemies to lovers, opposites attract, university, pulling pigtails

Old Fashion Cupcake (2022) Japan, 5 episodes Summary: At the critical juncture of a mid-life crisis, Nozue, a 39-year-old office worker, is stuck in the dull, mundane grind of wake, work, sleep. But due to his age, he's convinced he's well past the point he can take risks by trying something new. As such, he continues to decline promotions at his job and romantic advances from potential partners. He confides one day in his 29-year-old subordinate, Togawa, making an off-hand comment about a desire to be like a young girl - capable of feeling excitement and joy in life again. In an attempt to inspire him to move forward, Togawa suggests an "anti-aging experiment" and the two of them go on a journey together to help Nozue feel young again.

First things first - a large portion of Togawa's proposed "ant-aging technique" involves frequenting dessert cafes and restaurants that are catered towards a younger female demographic and fuck me the food in this show always looks so goddamn good.

The boss/employee thing might turn people away from giving this a shot but what I really love about this show is that despite being Nozue's subordinate (and younger than him - which is a bigger deal in Japan), Togawa is extremely blunt and unafraid to tell Nozue exactly what he thinks (so long as Togawa believes it will ultimately benefit Nozue in the long run), and it's very clear that he does this because he has a strong sense of respect for Nozue (and because spoilers - Togawa is so down bad for his boss like okay boy DAMN. Go get your esoteric old man). This show is also great at conveying emotion and inner conflict without dialogue (I've enjoyed coming back for a re-watch and picking up on little nuisances in Togawa and Nozue's behaviour that I missed the first time around).

Overall this is a very cute, very wholesome coming of age/queerness story that reminds you that it's never too late to pursue what interests you, try something new, and enjoy life while you're at it.

Tropes: fingers in his mouth friday, pining, age gap, office romance, food as a love language

That's it! If you want more recs from a genre hit up my inbox, I had a fun time pulling this together and have many more in the chamber where that came from.

[pie-of-flames]

Instant Classics from Beatles Secret Santa

I hope everyone is devouring the bounty of fic that came out of this. I've only read a few so far, but most of the ones I've read are freaking Instant Classics that no one should miss.

Brian Manages (Sole Direction) by @crepesuzette2023: Brian lives-AU/ fix-it. This is a beautifully written imagining of how a Brian that survived might've dealt with the mysterious rift between John and Paul after India. It's from Brian's POV and we get a look into his individual relationship with each Beatle, as well as his unique insight into John and Paul's relationship and how he guides them back to each other. Amazing.

Our Version Of Events by @javelinbk 1971, Tittenhurst Park, Ascot. John discovers that fans have been writing stories about him and Paul, and it changes everything that he thought he knew about their relationship. In this wonderfully entertaining fic, John becomes obsessed with reading Beatles fan fic, which alone is hilarious and includes nods to some real fics/tropes. But what's really interesting about it are the insights John gains and how @javelinbk uses fan fic as a plot element beyond John's obsession. The theme is woven through the whole story, building to an extremely satisfying climax (no pun intended, or is it).

The Rumours by @merseydreams This was my gift! and even though I already reblogged it, I wanted to include it as an Instant Classic. During the Lost Weekend, John decides to start rumours that he's queer. Paul reacts. This fic includes some of my absolute favorite things, which is both John and Paul being driven crazy with jealousy and idiots in love who are utterly oblivious to their real feelings, while everyone around them knows exactly what's going on. Also venturing into gay clubs. Absolutely hilarious and so much fun. But also emotionally satisfying.

[charlie-morningstar666]

Alright, so I have been monitoring the situation with your mother and shit silently for some time now, and I feel like it’s reached a boiling point that I physically cannot sit back and ignore anymore. What she is doing to you NOT okay in the slightest, and should not be tolerated. In fact, it should be called out, which is exactly what I’m about to do.

To put it frankly, what she’s doing is abuse. Mainly emotional, and somewhat physical (what with the slapping and stabbing shit as of late, I know that was Vaggie but she was def a part of it. Vaggie isn’t in the clear either she’s been being a little shit recently too. But we’re talking ab your mom rn cuz she’s the main issue). She is constantly belittling you, condescending you, and overall just treating you like you’re a dumb little kid who doesn't know shit. Everytime you bring up a genuine concern, try to set a boundary, or ask her to stop doing something because you’re not ready/comfortable, she goes on this whole spiel about “oh I’m your mother and I know what’s best and I’m doing this because I love you and I want to prepare you! Stop being so dramatic, listen to me, I know best” blah blah blah. And guess what, you know what that is? MANIPULATION! And Gaslighting. Making you doubt that there is actually something to be concerned and upset about. When you run away and ask for space she forces herself back into your life instead of respecting your boundaries. Then she’ll act all kiss-ass nice to you when she finally gets what she wants or realises she needs to dial things back if she wants to stay in your good graces.

It’s not OKAY for her to be doing any of this shit, and I just want you to know that you are FULLY within your right to cut her out of your life if you so choose. Because the way she’s been treating you since she arrived back from Heaven? It’s not okay. No child should be driven to the point of feeling like they have to leave their own home because it’s not an emotionally stable environment for them due to their parent. You do not owe her ANYTHING and you don’t have to put up with her bullshit.

- A concerned Anon who just wants to see you happy, respected and not constantly in emotional distress because of your mother. 💜

*tears up, before beginning to wipe them away*

I….t-thank you…I….it’s really been hard..figuring out what’s been going on…with me trying to take a little space to think about what’s going on to being forced back into the hotel…I…it’s really been a lot…..to the point that I…I didn’t care anymore before…I saw my dad’s post and t-t-thought he-he was mad at me…for what I-I said…

It’s just been so….d-difficult and….sometimes I felt like..I-I’m a bad daughter or…a monster….because of what happened….I…..thank you…..thank you for…..being concern…I….I really need to hear this…….thank you….Anon……

[definitelynotshouting]

okay 3am anon again (although you likely have more than one of those, the most recent 3am anon) after some sleep, still thinking about the overlap between the player Grian’s last memories of his code being devoured and the pre grian larval watcher’s memory of doing the devouring. in this au there’s no concept of the soul, it’s just code all the way down? so like… player grian’s code didn’t get shucked off to the greater universe and recycled. it’s still *there*, making up watcher grian. like he’s a fusion of the two, chimera like— or worse, a stranger wearing player grians corpse.

side note: while ik the listeners aren’t that well known (if known at all) to the players, i think the process of becoming a listener and becoming a watcher artificially are eerily similar. the difference to me being that one has a clear delineation in the before and the after, the player and the watcher, while the other leaves outsiders wondering exactly how much of their friend is left. you’re giving ME brain worms.

side side note: re: Doc’s Mystery Solution: think it would incredibly funny for it to be a radio tower broadcasting the Watcher Food Frequency. Many jokes to be had. Fortunately i’m making all of them:

1) grian simply thinking real hard at the air to eat call that Same-Second Delivery

(like that one telekinesis pizza image)

2) *Incomprehensible static noises* “YOU’RE LISTENING TO—“ *Rapid screeching and clicking* “— THE WATCHER RADIO—“ *hissing, skittering, shrieking* “—THE BEST (only) ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET ON AIR!” *three seconds of the time honored watcher classic Maneater by Nelly Furtado blares before being subsumed by crushing static*

3) No one gets to change the station on road trips it’s crushing static or grian gets the munchies and throws them into another death game.

side side side note (side x3 note?), grians specific set of issues around feeding is so interesting to me— knowing that what helps you will directly hurt others, imo, really validates the fear a lot of ill— mentally and physically— people have about being a burden on those they love, and getting themselves hurt in the process of attempting to protect their loved ones. it also follows that up by saying “you might be a burden! But it’s the choice of others to help you. What a world it would be if all we meant to each other was the burdens we give and take.” idk i could be grossly misinterpreting it. but it is an interesting thought to me.

additionally, i like the rounded focus you have on everyone— seeing how everyone is 1) handling this extreme situation, 2) what they do with the little information they have/have figured out is so wonderfully twisty. it grounds the fic in an emotional reality, whilst using scifi/fantasy concepts to form the set on which that emotional reality is played out. immaculate.

side x4 note:

imagine some therapist phones grian and is like “ay so i got a patient that’s emotionally repressed out the wazoo can you come take a bite so they can figure out how to label the emotions they’re feeling thanks”

grian: how did you get this number.

side x5 note:

all i’m saying is that TECHNICALLY player grians code is still inside watcher grian :) in pieces :) like a gruesome patchwork making up his memory code and surface code :) that must look soooooooooo silly from xisumas perspective. incredibly silly. lethally silly even. 14 dead 62 injured silly event.

side x6 note:

the approach your world building has for the ethical implications of genetic modification and self driven evolution is simply. chefs kiss.

like watchers changed the cores of themselves to escape over hunting by the seekers. players recreationally change their skins. listeners meld and learn from their hosts code just as much as they impart themselves on their hosts. It’s normal at different levels but also held in a higher regard than just the irl concept of “what if rich people could design their babies :) surely nothing can go wrong with that” i mean it’s more nuanced but i gotta write abt that for a lot of my classes so i will spare you the ramble (IN THAT REGARD SPECIFICALLY. YOU ARE NOT SPARED IN ANY OTHER. MY APOLOGIES)

intelligent design but the maker and the molded are one and the same. in the words of half-alive’s hit song “creature”, every living thing here is “creation both haunted and holy”, the universe experiencing itself, through infinitely recycled code.

side x7 note:

you mentioned the dev crystals blowing up if there was too much stress on the system w too many abandoned worlds. call that chernobyl the way that— *loud incorrect buzzer sounds*

anyways that’s not all the thoughts i have but i need to fuel my body with something that’s not brain rot and ideally has some protein in it lmfao.

hope you enjoy this ramble, and have a wonderful day!

ANON I LOVE AND ADORE THESE RAMBLES THIS IS SO ENRICHING FOR ME TO READ ALSO YOUR JOKES ARE SO ON POINT IM LOSING MY MIND RN SKDNAJFNSKDNSJDJDJ

Genuinely its so so lovely to read people's thoughts and analysis' for hunger au-- i am utterly obsessed with what everyone's different takeaways are, and the common thread between them. And like!!! What you're reading into it is stuff i have done my best to carefully insert and im SO HAPPY its coming across!!!! Watcher!Grian does have an exact copy of Player!Grian's memory code-- he's pretty much the exact same person in my eyes, just... different. Idk its hard to explain. But my thought on the whole ship of theseus situation has ALWAYS been "its still you if thats what you choose." and thats ultimately what i want to portray for Grian as well.

Smth smth "show me a permanent state of the self" and "trauma changes you irrevocably but so does healing" and "sometimes you replace your host (hi fellow systems im waving)" and also a little of that good old trans "i killed and ate the person i was and became something different but im also still me" flavour all at the same time. There are a ton of different things im referencing in the entire idea of Grian killing and replacing himself and containing those trace amounts of that original code and they are all SO integral to the story for me. I think at the end of the day its very much a "i was changed and theres nothing i can do about that but i can keep moving forward as i grieve" type situation. Taps mic is this thing on. This room is so dark

Im so glad youve made all the Grian munchies jokes bc these are STELLAR

For the mental health thing!!! Yes!!!! Yes oh my gods it is SO important to me to have that as part of this portrayal, that yes sometimes we hurt each other and sometimes we hurt each other badly-- but we are still a COMMUNITY and that means there is a deliberate choice in choosing to provide support anyways. I'll fully admit that i didnt necessarily go into this fic with like, a moral in mind?? In its most honest form, this fic is just a depiction, as is most of my work-- i really enjoy exploring the messy realities of terrible situations, often without any good answers, and navigating the maze of their ugly results when everybody is just trying their best. But i'll never say im not glad that this is something being taken out of reading this fic-- its about the community of it all. Its about how sometimes you hurt people and they can love you and support you anyway. Its about how sometimes people hurt you and you can also continue to support them. Like youve put so elegantly here: where would we be if we only measured our relationships in how much of a burden they are to us???? If we only gave a shit about the transaction of it all???? idk its all so deeply human to me and thats ultimately what i like about this fic, is the humanity in it, and the nuance, and the complexity of a terrible situation where everything is understandable and just plain sucks.

Im genuinely so glad that you're enjoying how rounded everything is-- ive been working really hard to make sure everyone gets a little bit of a spotlight, and that spotlight is going to expand SIGNIFICANTLY once we get to hermitcraft again. My work is cut out for me LOL especially because i have an obsession with doing right by every character, but i do genuinely enjoy taking that deeper dive into hermits im far less familiar with-- im having lots of fun lowkey studying Welsknight in particular rn via Iskall's hermitcraft vault hunters series. Im hoping it pays off when i eventually get to his little spotlight :]

Also okay MAN i will candidly admit i didnt even THINK about genetic modification ethics when coming up with this worldbuilding. I think my thought process on it was more or less that i wanted to do something more unique than hybrids but without sacrificing the aesthetic options and so i came up with "everybody is functionally a shapeshifter, there we go, cool" and my trans ass slammed the IMMEDIATE ACCEPT button bc gods. Ideal fucking world i would like to be a lion. U kno how it is. But im very glad you find this so interesting and!!!! Thats SO COOL that ive managed to connect to smth youre so passionate about irl!!!! Also i find just what youve mentioned here to be a very very interesting subject so if you ever want to ramble more about it i would love to hear!!!! :D

Gods okay this got long but i adore this ask and also the "YOU'RE MOLDY??????" TRULY GOT TO ME AKDNWKDNSKDN IT LEGIT SENT ME INTO A COUGHING FIT HELP,,,,,,,, tysm for sending these, they made my day and im glad i finally got the chance to respond to them :]❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[needle-noggins]

Sav's Author Highlight: ImberReader

For the entire week of @trigunfanfic appreciation week, I’m going to highlight my favorite authors and friends whose writing I adore and why. Right now I want to highlight the writing of @scoundrels-in-love, aka ImberReader on Ao3. Rainy is a dear friend of mine and one of the first fic friends I made when I started writing last year!

Rainy's writing is absolutely gorgeous, for starters. Their prose is incredibly vivid, with imaginative metaphors and a deep dive into POV characters' inner thoughts and feelings. Their writing is introspective, emotionally-driven, and full of yearning, with snippets of fun dynamics interspersed between. They can take a small scene, a small interaction, and expand it into something interesting and dynamic.

Rainy is also particularly skilled in writing smut. They have written so much, and they take as much care and consideration into it as they do everything else, and it really shows. I have them to thank for so many of the smut I have written, and they always have great ideas for adding more emotion and feeling into a scene (smut or not!). Mashwood is really their wheelhouse, and if there's anyone who can make Mashwood happen when it wouldn't otherwise (ie, canon-compliant Trimax), it's going to be Rainy. And you know what? With the depth with which they write emotions, they can make anything happen. Rainy has, time and time again, converted me to Mashwood when my original thought wasn't Mashwood. It's become an inside joke at this point, and a beloved one.

If you've ever wanted to hit me for my inclusion of Wolfwood grief in Bluebells, you can kindly direct your frustrations towards Rainy, who suggested the twist in chapter 4 that snowballed into so much delicious angst. :)

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite fics of theirs:

If this is communication, I disconnect (I need you, you want me, but I don't know how to connect) | Rating: | Ship: Vashmeryl | Yearning, all hurt no comfort | This fic inspired Bluebells and even has a podfic! It's wonderful and the angst is so good.

For you, I've been aching | For you, I've been blind | Rating: E | Ship: Vashmeryl (with Wolfwood flavor) | Ohhhhhhhhhh MAN. This fic was inspired by a chapter of Bluebells; it's the same scene but from Vash's POV, and my lord is it yummy. Rainy took our jokes about Ghostwood in Bluebells and made it completely canon. This fic was a wonderful little gift to me and to my fic universe and I adore it so much. The line "We're both so bad at wanting, aren't we?" still shrimps me to this day. AUGH.

I could drown myself in someone like you (Dive so deep, I'd never come out) | Rating: T | Ship: Vashmeryl | OH MY GOD. THE VASHMERYL ONE SHOT OF ALL TIME. The metaphors and prose of this are absolutely delicious and unique. This fic has inspired so much of Bluebells since it was published, and it's exactly what I like. It's catnip to me.

We could love (illumination), we could love you (elevation) | Rating: M | Ship: Mashwood | Roommate AU. they're all so so so stupid, and I love them so much. I'm rooting for these idiots so hard.

Love Like Moon Phases series | Rating: E | Ship: Mashwood | Werewolf AU. And oh my, the smut is so delicious crazy in this one. They're all so hot. I scream.

and darling, all my dreaming has only been given (your) name | Rating: E | Ship: Vashwood-about-Meryl | VASHWOOD ABOUT MERYL. OH MY GOD. God. It's so good. Rainy absolutely excels at the "two of them about the third" thing for Mashwood so much so that it's become a fun joke/trend. This one is. Phew. Good shit.

We'll brave out this storm together (Touch one another, Do what lovers do) | Rating: E | Ship: Stryfewood | Yom. Stryfewood in the midst of Mashwood. It's soft and horny at the same time.

If you have a moment, please try out one of Rainy's fics and give them some love. They're a wonderful writer and an even better friend!

[khalixvitae]

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY CONVEY IDIA'S CHARACTER AS WELL AS YOU DID OMG I JUST READ WHEN YOU SAID IDIA ISNT AN INCEL so many people misinterpret his character as just being shy but that just sets him up as a stereotypical introvert. It's not that he's SHY it's that he physically doesn't know hoe to deal with people and instead of trying to learn he just assumes there is no point so he perpetuates his own loneliness. IM SO GLAD IVE FOUND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS HIM LIKE I DO AAAAAHHHH

Aghhhhh hello anon! Im glad you enjoyed my silly little post, that’s so sweet of you! Yea I feel like there’s so much going on with Idia (frankly with both of the Shroud brothers and their whole deal) that gets kinda bogged down by tropey perceptions. Like yes Idia is introverted and mostly opposed to interacting with people, but there are a lot of layers there. He’s agoraphobic, under-socialized, and painfully anxious. he’s scarily smart and prefers to scheme behind the scenes until he’s positive whatever he’s cooking up is fool proof (which I don’t think is an inherently bad trait) because things are easier and require less effort when there’s a script. freeballing social interactions with people and a broader environment you have no interest in connecting with is both taxing and in no way gratifying (in Idia’s mind, and in most cases). Its inefficient, which I also think is a good way of summarizing his attitudes towards social interaction.

He considers it pointless for everyone involved since he’s just going to disappear one day. Not to mention his upbringing and that hot mess of socialization, I think anybody would be fucked up from that. Plus his whole complex about his appearance and the fact that it’s not exactly been pleasant to just exist publicly. With all these factors in mind It’s important to remember that he’s the one who has decided he MUST be alone and that his fate is predetermined. In the name of efficiency/practicality and his sanity (while ironically undermining both) he just gives up before he’s even started. The world doesn’t end for the people around him, but he’s miserable and would be regardless. I mean he outright says so in book 6. The worst part is that he’s really self aware about it - he just doesn’t think he can change his circumstances or himself. I think the rest of his character really relies on that point. Honestly that’s what makes him so tragic and why I think his overblot is so interesting. It calls into question this focus on efficiency because it’s really just a bluff- as smart and rational as he wants to be, he’s quick tempered and honestly very emotional. We actually get to see just how far he can go with this almost martyr like philosophy because it hinges on his low self worth, but once someone he loves is brought into the equation, he completely jumps the gun. He may not see himself as worth saving, but for the one person he cares about/who understands him??? Who he believes he failed? Rationale goes out the window.

Anyways sorry for the little tangent there, I just think he’s so interesting and the incel trope really downplays the nuance there. He’s so smart but so emotionally driven despite being emotionally stunted and tbh I think that’s his downfall.

[isfjmel-phleg]

I was going to try to catch up a little tonight and work on the "Mother" prompt--something with Tamett's mother, whom we've barely seen. She's struggling with how increasingly detached and overly polite he gets every time he comes home, and it's especially severe after the news that he's going away to school with Josiah. So she's trying to connect and getting nowhere--and neither was I, because I realized partway through that it was basically "The Breakfast Room" all over again and why do I keep coming back to mothers failing to bond with their emotionally distant sons.

Of course Tamett is very different from Delclis. He's quite emotionally driven, actually, on the inside, and Delclis isn't at all. Delclis shuts people out very deliberately; Tamett bottles things up and tries not to be inconvenient to anyone. He's having a hard time getting out of that mode, which he picked up as a coping mechanism at the palace, even when he's at home and doesn't really need it. Or does he? He needs to seem grateful for all the opportunities he's being given, and surely it will annoy his mother if he speaks badly of the situation that her brother was kind enough to recommend him for, and heaven forbid she find out exactly why he's accompanying Josiah to Hollingham. So he doesn't tell her anything he doesn't think she wants to hear, and she has no idea how unhappy he is. And as much as the Låsryggs are status-conscious, I do think it would trouble Elina to know what her son has to live with every day and how badly he's struggling. I think she would try to help in whatever way she could. She's not overly warm by nature, but she genuinely loves her children and wants the best for them.

And it sounds like it has more of a point when I put it like that, but I assure you it was excruciatingly boring when I was trying to write it--and sorry, I just can't tonight. This one will have to wait.

[manderleyfire]

hey, ali! i feel your pain about the tbosas adaptation! i cried so much during the movie but not because i felt emotional, seeing MY book comes alive on screen but because we were robbbbbbbbbbed and shot 😞😞😞😞😞😞 anyways, what's your opinion on the music tho? fav/least fav song? (my is the oldtherebefore and least fav the 0livia r0drigo's one)

hey, lollis!

‘robbed and shot’, exactly. i couldn’t have said it better myself because unfortunately, that’s spot on 🥲

I LOVED THE MUSIC! a dystopian reflection of our reality through intentional use of folk/bluegrass music is something that resonates strongly with me. i mean, they knew how to strike the right chord in the hearts of book readers for sure! *the only other thing i wish was different about the music it's the variety of tempo and rhythm because as much as i LOVED the unified sound of LG's songs, i would prefer each song to have its own individual tune and ~aura)

my absolute favourite adaptation that they did was 'nothing you can take from me' (boot-stompin’ version); i am utterly in awe of the powerful passionate energy that they gave to this song?? also i loveeed the similarity of rhythm and tone between 'nothing you can take from me' and a traditional american folk song 'man of constant sorrow', i kinda feel it was a deliberate parallel which worked just great. (also i’m glad they added maude ivory’s 'keep on the sunny side'!)

my least favourite is perhaps 'the ballad of lucy gray baird'?.. and though i did enjoy rachel’s rendition (she copies a young dolly parton in such a warm-hearted respectful manner!), and the respect for traditional appalachian music, she sang it in a cheerful 'to hell with you!' manner which is less intense and intimate that i remember it from the book to be? to quote tbosas here: 'the haunting melody set the tone, and her words did the rest as she began to sing in a voice husky from smoke and sadness' – the movie version really failed to capture both the haunting tune (their version doesn't really tell the story musically because of a major key) and the lucy gray's vulnerability here for me. in the book she did what carrie fisher told us all to do: 'take your broken heart and turn it into art' while in the movie she isn't even angry at billy taupe?? like his betrayal (and her place in the games) is not a big deal? she's openly rebellious and sassy with out of place 'i need no man' attitude and that simply didn't work for me personally.

it took some time for 'pure as the driven snow' to grow on me (i expected it to be more of a waltz-like, similar to maiah wynne's cover), but i'm coming around to it. yet… i wish it was STAGED differently??? they had to combine certain scenes and songs in the film but it was such a SURREAL idea to meld PATDS with 'sell you for a song' setting? and it took away so much from that moment of love and connection and unconditional acceptance, where lucy gray is finally ready to be emotionally unshielded in front of her lover (maybe for the first time ever)?? it was a PIVOTAL snowbaird moment but they needed to blend two songs together because obviously PATDS can't be love confession in form of a song because it should be taken as an ominous warning instead (duh!). 'bitch you better not turn out to be a bad guy even tho i knew you were a villain all along' :??? and it could've worked in its own angst-y way, if there had been any development in snowbaird love story?? but since movie!they are full on survival the whole time (there's no canonical teetering on the edge of an actual fondness/love and survival instinct), PATDS makes no sense at all. so… i extremely frustrated by the use of PATDS on screen but at the same time i love the sound of the full version on the soundtrack album.

annnd i'm actually IN PAIN because they had the audacity to leave so many songs out?? especially given their ties to the original trilogy?? 'deep in the meadow' aka rue's song???? 'the valley song' aka the one peeta mentioned seeing katniss sing at school when they were children????  the festive 'crawling to you' ('that thing i love with') likely performed at finnick’s wedding?? idk maybe it's a musical nerd who is speaking in me but i wish they could have included more of the book songs at least on the album, if not in the actual movie (even tho i'm still sure, it would've been possible to present the whole complexity of this book AND its poetic side too, if they decided to split the film in two).

[the score album wasn't much to talk about but 'snow lands on top' piece tho… vivid, striking, remarkable]

[bangsinc]

I also don't really like the series but I just love scarecrow voice in it. So can you write HC for that version and TBNAT (I think is written like that, idk 😭) for when his so tells him that they're pregnant and how would he be as a father?- 🩷

💀TNBA Scarecrow X Pregnant! Reader🎃

THIS IS SO REAL. He’s only in like 2 episodes but god his voice is so attractive. Also, I’m such a sucker for a pregnant reader, idk, it’s a sweet trope.

Basic warnings since reader is pregnant. Light mention of vomit and stuff but as usual no Nsfw! Well, obviously a mention of being intimate since reader is pregnant.. and like yknow.

Jonathan’s never nessecarly been sentimental, not even twoards his significant other. While he's been open and a shoulder to cry on, he's never experienced the urge to cry himself. That doesn’t mean he’s never had other.. urges.

It doesn’t come as a complete shock (it does) when the news is initially broken. Of course he is happy, but he’s not sure how to express it. If anything, he’s outwardly acting as if this might be a slight issue.. which it is.

Hes thought of having kids with his partner, but given the life he leads that idea manifesting is slim to none. None of his goons are even aware of your existance, he’s keeped the very idea of him ever having a partner tucked away in their feeble minds. You’re too important for him to go around flaunting.

If you two weren’t married, expect him to push a very, very quiet wedding. One or two people, maybe a villian he trusts with this sort of information. He wants this kid, if you want it too.

He hires multiple at home nurses during the 8 months. He keeps them descreet, having them snuck in nearly everyday to assist you the more time goes by. He’s very much there by your side, noticiably not being seen as much by his goons. He can’t just stop doing what drives him, but he loves you too much for you not to be a big priority.

He’s a little more emotionally transparent during the pregnancy. He’s clingy, suprisingly, constantly holding onto you whenever you both are in proximity. Hes created something with you perminantly, you are his now, and of course he’s yours, so he’s pretty much ride or die by now. Not only that, but the fact you were so willingly intimate with him, given his profession and chemically scarred appearance.. he’s never finding another. You’re the only woman that could ever matter to him.

That being said, if he wasn’t already pushing you away from his ‘line of work’, he’s making sure you never even see a single vial of fear toxin. He’s not aware of the effect something such as that could have on you, espically in the state your in. He’s not sure what he would be able to do with himself if you got into an accident.

He’s by your side along with multiple at home nurses when you give birth, holding onto your hand the entire time and not even daring to flinch no matter how hard you squeeze it. He doesn’t have emotion in his voice as he attempts to soothe you, but he is.. happy.

Hes not emotionally distant as a father, but he doesn’t know how to handle children. He keeps basic precautions, such as keeping them away from his lab equipment and fear toxin, but what if his baby is terrified of him?

He’s hired men,,, and payed them rather handsomely to help make a seperate room for the baby to you and his liking. He’s very communicative during this, although he is more driven by what makes you happy.

He can’t exactly play with a baby, either. His leg prohibits a lot of extensive movement, and he’s a bit of an older villian as it is. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to spend time with the kid, far from it. He’s still a villian through and through, but his crimes have gotten less extravagant with all the times he spends assisting you and his kid.

Batman even grows more leniant, noticing that he isn’t actually a terrible dad. He takes his time apprehending Jonathan, and even then he makes sure it’s a possibility for you and him to see eachother with your kid.

He’s not a fun dad, but he loves his kid and you through and through. He’d do anything to protect the both of you, you’re the only people truly connected to him, the only people he actually cares for.

[whimsicalpoet44]

Hi,how are you?Your content is great,I’m very interested in observations and placements and you describe it in great detail..🤍I’d like to ask you about a placement that I have and it’s Venus in Capricorn that squares my Libra Mars and I wanted to know if there is any hope for a romantic life or if doomed…Thank you

Thank you!! And yes! I love Capricorn Venuses! Although, I'm biased. Because I, too, am a Cap Venus. 😂

I'll explain both Venus in Cap and Libra in Mars and then explain the aspect.

Capricorn Venus

Cap Venus individuals are often teased because many believe they treat love like a business agreement. In some ways, I suppose this is true. But I think it's ultimately because Cap Venus individuals do not settle down unless they're extremely committed to someone. Once they decide they want you in their lives, they want it to be official.

Cap Venuses often are quick to define relationships. They like to know exactly what is going on and where they stand with a romantic partner.

They expect equal effort and they won't just stand by and let their partner take advantage of their kindness. They're putting forth their time (which is usually sparse anyways) and essentially investing in the relationship. So, they expect their partner to do the same.

As a romantic partner, they show up for the person they love. They are so reliable and their partner can count on them to do what they say they're going to do.

They're responsible, witty, and intelligence. And they are fiercely loyal. Probably to a fault.

Others might be intimidated by them because of their cold exterior, but it's only because they're very serious (and secretly sensitive). Inside they're warm and soft. They only show this side to certain people though.

Cap Venus individuals are really artistic, but usually in unique ways. Their approach is likely logical and pre-planned (but not always).

Cap Venuses can avoid love sometimes because they fear rejection. They might completely avoid telling someone they like them, and it can call for missed opportunities in love. This happened to me with another Cap Venus (we both had that placement). Neither one of us would admit we liked each other directly. It lead to a very sad missed opportunity that I regret every day I wake up. 😂

They have really great style and they usually have a glow up in their late 20s, early 30s. They're late bloomers. But that's okay. Because so many people will realize what they missed out on.

Libra Mars

Libra Mars individuals are driven by their desire to attain their perfect vision. They can see their dreams in their mind and they want to make them a reality.

They can also find motivation for humanitarian efforts. Helping someone seek and receive justice can be a way to get them to act quickly.

However, sometimes they can put others before themselves. Their dreams might get put on hold to help someone else reach theirs. They must understand that their dreams matter, too.

They don't have patience for close minded people that refuse to grow. They can also react if someone tries to take advantage of their kindness.

Because they are truly really kind and compassionate people.

They're great at diplomatic matters and they are fantastic to have around in crisis. They're always super level headed and overly polite.

However, they are very passive aggressive. (I personally admire this. I've seen someone with a Libra in Mars completely rip someone apart in complete kindness. It's truly a skill. And it helps them resolve a lot of conflict, particularly in work settings).

The down side to the passive aggressive nature, though, is that they don't communicate their anger to others in a direct way, leaving their needs unresolved. Resentment can build up as a result. No one can fix the issue if they don't directly tell them what's wrong.

Venus in Capricorn Squaring Mars in Libra

A person with this aspect could struggle with being un-attracted to the person they share a deep and intimate emotional connection with.

Alternatively, they might struggle with not emotionally connecting with the person they're sexually attracted to.

It creates a bit of a conundrum.

Another problem that could arise with this aspect is "right person, wrong time." Something could just be off about the timing of the relationship OR maybe they're not in a place where they can commit to a relationship at the moment. They could have some healing work to do or they may not be who you thought they were.

This placement is often referenced in divorce astrology. Having this placement doesn't mean you'll end up divorced. It just means that marriage and relationships could hold a bit of difficulty for you.

You could be initially attracted to the stability and loyalty of a person (Because of you Cap Venus). OR You could be attracted to the kind and diplomatic nature of a person (Mars in Libra).

Later on, these traits might become an issue for you. You could find that the stability your partner provides lacks excitement and spontaneity. Or you could find that diplomatic nature of your partner can cause you to become angry because they aren't assertive enough.

Look at the qualities associated with your Venus and Mars signs. Figure out how to balance them out within yourself. But you must first identify these qualities and accept them.

Find an effective communication system for you and any romantic partners. State your expectations. And face your concerns or problems head on. Your Libra Mars might want to avoid conflict, but if you don't address these issues, they can turn into a bigger problem over time.

So, no you aren't doomed. You just have a little bit of work to do in this department of your life.

[bunnymermaidwrites]

@writerfae ! I finally got to describing Bendegúz' dad (or I tried my best)

OKAY! LET'S TALK ABOUT BENDEGÚZ'S DAD! (Let us all pray that this will be comprehensible)

Suprise! Bendegúz actually got really upset with me for wanting to reveal his backstory, because he was really happy that there were finally people (your ocs) who didn't know, and now he's sulking in my lap, and I am trying to comfort him. He doesn't want me to talk about his daddy issues

Bendegúz: I do not have daddy issues! I do not even have a dad!... Emotionally...

Me: You do know that sounds depressing, right?

Bendegúz: And you know for a fact that it actually isn't.

Me: Fair enough!

The reason I didn't get into this when I first talked about him was because i knew the backstory would be long, and I feared it might overshadow Bendegúz himself. And I just couldn't do that to Bendegúz, because I know that he would hate that more than anything.

(Also, hoping I didn't make Bendegúz sound like an insensitive jerk, cause he's not!)

Before Bendegúz's mother (Zsuzsa) became the captain of the guard, it was his father (György (ok, these may be the wierdest names yet! This is basically the Hungarian version of George). He was a great man, almost exactly like Bendegúz in both personality and looks (except Bendegúz has his mother's eyes).

Him, his wife and Bendegúz (who was a baby at the time) were really happy.

One day, due to an accident György's wings stopped working, and he was forced to make an emergency landing in the Black swamp. He was there for only a few hours before being rescued, but whatever he saw, whatever happened to him broke him.

His wife tried to get him back on his feet. To help him. And, it seemed, very slowly, but it was working.

It was hard. He was expecting an attack at all times. He sometimes forgot he was rescued... but with the help and love of his wife, he was coming back to himself. Never fully, but very noticeably.

But one time, baby Bendegúz started crying... and György didn't see his beloved son... he saw a monster.

Zsuzsa had to stop him by hitting him over the head with a vase. When György came back to himself, he was horrified at what he'd done.

György injured baby Bendegúz. This is why he has a permanent limp.

After that, Zsuzsa moved into the castle with Bendegúz. György stayed in their old cottage on the side of the woods. The home they were supposed to be happy in.

But Zsuzsa was still helping him. She still loved him. He still loved her, and they both loved Bendegúz.

A few years later, when György was better (still not the same, he'd never be), Zsuzsa started taking Bendegúz with her to see his father. Little Bendegúz hated these visits (so much that his mom stopped taking him when he was 9) for a couple of reasons:

Bendegúz heard a lot about his father, and what he heard could be sorted into 2 categories:

He is the person who's been to the Black swamp and lived to tell the tale. He was driven mad, and he hurt his own infant son. He is a crazy forest hermit.

He was a great man, and it's a tragedy what happened to him. The ones who worked alongside him, who so much as even heard of him, miss him.

Both of these are true in some ways and false in others.

Bendegúz was never really allowed to come to his own conclusions about his dad, so as a child, he hated him (he was also, scared of him, because of the combination of what he heard, knowing that his dad injured him before, and György acted in a way that to a child would register as really scary, talking/ moving wierd)

In the present Bendegúz has very complicated feelings about his father. He doesn't hate him anymore. He feels bad for him, but also... he'd prefer if people didn't expect him to feel strongly about it.

Bendegúz loves his current life, and he gets beyond mad if someone questions that. Dad or no dad, he doesn't feel like he's missing something.

He hates being compared to his dad, he hates if people assume that he's missing someone he never knew (which can happen, but it isn't the case with him).

People assume a lot of different things about Bendegúz because of his dad.

During the story Bendegúz and Adél have to ask György what he actually saw so they can prepare and reluctantly he helps.

After the story Bendegúz offers his father friendship, which... to Bendegúz friendship is the most precious thing in the world, so it means a lot.

He doesn't want it to turn into a father-son relationship, but he does want a new relationship with him. A completely new one. No expectations. Just: You helped me save my friend, so now you are also my friend.

This is basically Bendegúz' stance on his dad. His stance that (and I can't stress this enough) he needs people to honestly believe, to not question and accept!

"I never had a dad, and I do not want a dad! I do not have "dadsy issues," and I don't want this to affect anything! I never wanted a dad. I already had all I wanted my whole life: I have Endre, Adél, Ákos, Odet-... and my mom! My mom is so good! You don't know how good... I do not want more, and I do not have to want more, no matter what anyone says! I do not care that I am like him because I am not him, I am me! Even if he was said to be great at some point I don't care, I do not have to care, and it does not effect me, because I have never met him when he was like that, and I am just me. I don't want to be more and precisely because of this I will not be more! It is my choice because I am just me and not him, or a part of him!"

Bendegúz' feelings about this are hard to describe. The most important thing you should take away from this is that this backstory might have been complicated, but the things that matter about Bendegúz the most were the things I already described to you about him. That none of this should change how you saw him before (that much).

Also, all of this makes it sound like Bendegúz is really angsty, but he's not, I swear!

(Also, any similarities to Milan are accidental, I swear, it was like this even before I started following you!)

[bloobluebloo]

I was honestly just pointing out that clearly square enix is actually attempting to humanize Sephiroth while Nintendo just removes more of Ganondorf’s humanity 💀💀

I'll answer these all in one ask since they're all touching on a similar topic. No anon I agree with you completely; that is exactly what I was trying to convey with my previous post. The only thing I slightly disagreed with is that Sephiroth being more fleshed out doesn't baby him in any way, unless the intent is that Sephiroth's story given care and a spotlight is his creators babying him because they love his character then I would agree in that sense. The thing that I like about Sephiroth's writing is that they never shied away from his humanity despite his ungodly amount of power. It's his humanity and his troubled nature that lend to his insanity and the reason he developed so much entitlement. You get to see Sephiroth before his fall into madness, how he interacts with his fellow soldiers and those he considers his friends. You can't forgive him for the things he's done, but you also understand why he has developed the hatred he has and why he is driven to do what he does. He is a highly challenging enemy as well which lends to his appeal as an antagonist you want to punch in the face. I think what does frustrate me when it comes to Ganondorf is that, with more powerful consoles and games becoming more mainstream there is just so much more opportunity to make him interesting. This is not me asking for Ganondorf to become a troubled old man (which, I mean he is you cannot be the way he is and not be Troubled) who I have to sympathize with. I just feel like they could make a better case that would flesh out why he is as insane as he is. In TotK, for example, you hardly see Ganondorf properly interacting with anyone; it often feels like he's speaking at the screen as opposed to having an engaging and meaningful conversation with the others present in the scene. It doesn't only flatten his character but it also makes him feel very cartoonish and hard to take seriously. The environmental factors like gloom, the phantoms and gloom hands, the false Zeldas, the approach to his lair, and the final battle have to do a lot of heavy lifting to make him feel intimidating in my experience.

However, when it comes to Sephiroth, his character on its own is intimidating because we know so much about him, his battles aside. Everyone knows who Sephiroth is, even people who barely know Final Fantasy. When you hear the quote "I will never be a memory" even people with passing knowledge of Final Fantasy know its his quote. Everyone knows his theme from the first notes. He is an icon of a villain.

And, to be fair, I feel games like TP, OoT, and WW did make Ganondorf feel intimidating on his own (because honestly the final battles were not that challenging, at least to me) so it's not impossible for Nintendo to do. I'm just not sure if this is their idea of streamlining the LoZ experience by putting all the focus on the gameplay while letting the story fall to the side, but in this day and age where games are telling engaging and emotionally fulfilling stories with beautiful visuals and excellent gameplay I feel like they really don't have many excuses for not putting just a bit more effort in creating memorable stories.