#it just sucks that she just kinda fades into the background for the most part

[altairsun]

i'm having a blast playing ffxvi it's such a great game but man do i have conflicting feelings about jill's treatment in the story

[scarletsaphire]

tell me about kit!

*cracks knuckles* You have fallen into my trap. Prepare to hear about the singular best character that has ever been created.

Kit Baxter, also known as the Flying Squirrel, is the sidekick to Canada's greatest superhero, the marvelous masked man known only as the Red Panda from the radio show Adventures of the Red Panda. She is also his chauffeur for his secret identity (which remains secret even to the listeners for most of the show.) One other important bit of context is that the show is set during the great depression in Toronto, Canada, so life kinda sucks ass a little bit.

Kit is a first generation Russian immigrant, her father ran a boxing ring and taught her to drive. She's quick witted and quick on her feet, can throw a mean right hook, and drives better than most other people in the city, which earned her a spot as a taxi driver. Panda ended up in her car in his Secret Identity, asked her to drive (recklessly) to a crime scene he wanted to stop, and she, obviously, refused. She wasn't going to be running around like an idiot for some rich asshole. Panda than waved some money in her face to try and get her to listen, and what did she do? She said no, because she isn't some trained dog that'll bark for some rich asshole the moment he gives her a bone. She'd rather go hungry tonight than do that kind of shit for him, and if he's gonna act like he doesn't even know what manners are, he can get the hell out of her cab. (Once he says sorry and asks nicely, than she puts the petal to the metal.)

She's also like. So smart and cool and good with people, she's a jokester and flirtatious (mostly with Panda because she likes flustering him, its really funny) but she's allowed to be all of those things without ever feeling like "Oh she's just there to be the attractive side kick." Kit is very much her own person, its just that she happens to like being a thorn in Panda's side and sometimes that means batting her eyelids (and climbing up walls in a skintight cat suit).

Kit became the Flying Squirrel after, and I quote "I figured out your secret identity and then blackmailed you into letting me play." She cares so, so deeply about the people of her city, especially the people on the streets she comes from because she did not grow up in a nice area of town, and she is constantly trying to fight for the most vulnerable parts of town, despite many of them looking down on her as a woman, especially a woman in her field. She never takes anyone's shit, either towards herself or anyone else, and she is always ready to throw hands with someone she thinks deserves it.

(I'm going to be getting into spoiler stuff underneath the cut. I am asking so very nicely for you to listen to the Adventures of the Red Panda. They're on spotify here ad free, and you can also find them on their website decoderringtheatre.com along with all of their other shows and their audiobooks. It truly is one of the most impressive, fun, and thrilling stories I have ever read, watched, or heard, and it is Criminally Underrated. If you think this is even like. A Tiny Bit Interesting, throw on the first episode, its only 20 minutes, see if you like it. If you don't mind spoilers, or ended up not liking it, keep going.)

Something that I really, really like about Kit is how she's handled later on in the story, once we get into WWII. Her and Panda get married, and she ends up pregnant right as he ends up MIA (presumed dead by most of the world) and she is left to try and defend all of Toronto largely by herself with a child on the way and Archangel, a nazi spy whose manipulating p much everything, bringing havoc upon her city.

It would be super easy to let her fade into the background during all of this. It would be so, so easy to write her off as so many different things do as a mother and a wife and leave her at that. But they don't. She steps up as the mastermind behind everything, pulling the strings of their connections they've forged over the years, continues to fight in her suit until she physically can't anymore, working as hard as she can in and out of costume to make sure that her city, because with Panda gone (not dead. She never believes he's dead for a second and has and will fight anyone who says otherwise.) It is her city and her people and she will not let it fall to ruin. She will not let anyone else, Nazi or American or Canadian or anyone take her city from her.

Katya Baxter is a wonderful character who is just so, so funny and amazing and if anybody knew what the Adventures of the Red Panda were she would be an absolute HIT of a character on here. I love her so, so much.

[always-music0]

Run Rabbit Run.

Hannah would considers herself the unluckiest girl in the world,having being born into a tangled web of murderers and monsters that live in your closet and under your bed. Until one day an unforeseen issue makes its way into her already fucked life and now if she thought her life sucked it’s about to get a whole lot worse.

Pt.1

A Creepypasta/Twilight crossover 18+

There went many things that made me scared-

— I mean when you grow up with the people I grew up with you get used to the ice cold feeling in your veins when you cut it a little too close to the edge and death himself is only a few inches away waiting to free your soul from this purgatory plane we call earth. But when your friends are friends with the spirit of the dead the sweet relief of becoming stardust fades into the background, and when god turns his back on your soul just because of the people you associate with you kinda don’t even consider heaven an option anymore.

Now you may be asking yourself ‘how in the hell could someone be so unlucky?’ And I should be honest and admit that it’s sorta my fault and I happen to find myself in the wrong place in the wrong time frequently.

Take last week for example jumping from state to state and school to school with the three looneys I call my ‘caretakers’ even though for the most part I take care of them and I just happened to run into a certain organ eating demon on my way home from grocery shopping it took quite a lot of convincing to keep him from taking me with him and making the looneys fucking loose their shit, even though that would be pretty funny for the first ten minutes, but would ultimately get my ass beat but I also had to cough up the fresh liver I had gotten for the dog.

He was not impressed when I came home without a treat for him to sink his teeth in. Anyways my current situation was even worse cause the three fucking losers I lived with didn’t even believe me when I said the school I would be attending for then next ten months was crawling with vampires.

“Look Tim! You have to believe me!” I wined as I followed him outside the dog at me heels.

The house we were living in was pretty secluded besides a few houses a few acres away Tim scoffed and threw his bag into the back of his old ford f-150.

The old thing was partially rusted out and everything had been replaced maybe more that it should have but like Tim it never seemed to die even with the absurd amount of times they both have been thrown off cliffs .

“Listen here, I don’t give a fuck if they were goddamn transformers. We have a fuck ton of work to do around here and not a lot of time to do it. So your gonna take your perky little ass to that school everyday and stay out of our way and stay safe” he snapped

I flinched a little, I could tell he was getting a little annoyed or stressed one of the two

“ ok so you do believe there’s vampires?” I asked and when his eye twitched I smirked

“NO! There’s no creature like the vampires I know around here and if there were the boss would have already let us know!” He yelled walking over to Brian’s 1976 Bronco and thew the back door open. I trotted after him the dog followed me silently

“Well what if they aren’t like the vampires we know?!” I asked and he groaned took a deep breath and pulled out his cigarettes Putting one in his mouth he turned his head towards me.

I immediately fumbled for my lighter almost dropping it twice, if there was one thing Tim and his counter part loved was a well trained bitc- ahem. Lighting his cigarette he inhaled.

“Look” he started blowing out the smoke he just inhaled.

“If there is for some reason vampires at your school they must be harmless otherwise big man wouldn’t have you here” he tilted his head at me as though to say ‘ya even think about that’ I blinked. of course I thought about that, I would have been shipped off to stay with someone else entirely if that were the case.

“Yeah I guess…” I said slowly looking at the dog, his eyes met mine and his tongue rolled out as he started to pant, this Washington mugginess was getting to him.

“Look at me sweetheart.” Tim said and my eyes lifted from the dog to his.

“ we wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt you, not only is that our job it would kill us if you were hurt by something we didn’t know about” he said stepping towards me and eventually standing right in front of me. I could smell the cologne I had got him for Christmas and the cigarette smoke the reason I got him cologne. I met his eyes and they flashed darker as he switched and I tried not to wince as his hand shot up and griped my chin and squeezed my cheeks not tight enough to be painful but just to keep eye contact.

“Got it princess?” Masky said I nodded the best I could he grinned as Tim took back control patting my cheek

“Good girl” he said and turned back to the bronco reaching for another bag.

“Now be a good little thing and go bother someone else I have to fix the breaks on the ford and I definitely don’t want your annoying ass around when I do it” he commanded and I sighed flipping him off

“Go fuck yourself Tim” and walked away as he laughed at me The dog at me heels.

I suppose it could be worse, I mean the three fucking weirdos did a good job of keeping me safe although I wouldn’t admit that to their faces. What’s the worst that could happen?

A/N: Thanks for reading if you did! I know it’s littered with grammatical errors and run on sentences and it’s definitely not formatting correctly but I think meh who’s gonna see it anyways so why the hell not. But if you do read all of this thank you! Your wonderful and I will continue to post more parts as I write them<3

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

[onebizarrekai]

undeniable proof that shuichi and kokichi were gay in v3

prepare yourself for the most big brain thing that has ever bigged your brain

chapter 1

shuichi saihara spends this chapter following kaede around because they were just trapped in a godforsaken killing game and everything seems to suck. when faced with a situation such as this, the natural inclination is to either find someone to latch onto or to distrust and stick to oneself. shuichi does the former because he is a twiggy little man who would probably die in a fight before anyone even attacked him.

what is kokichi doing in this chapter? sticking to himself? stalking someone? that is the real question. nobody knows what he is doing because he is not the protagonist and not the obligatory party companion. however, since v3 follows a theme of fiction, it is totally logical to believe that some system must be in place, but kokichi is not bound by such a system because kokichi represents anarchy.

he does not stick with another for all to see, nor does he remain alone. alas, he searches for a secret companion and has not found one yet. who shall he find? shall he find any? the truth is, he gravitates towards shuichi. it’s supposed to be in secret, but there is a way in the game to see what really happened.

if you speak to tsumugi right before everyone is asked to gather at the cafeteria a second time, she mentions sonic the hedgehog. kokichi runs by, saying “got to go fast”. this means that kokichi has either played sonic the hedgehog or is at least well-versed in sonic memes. if you get this dialogue, and only if you get it, later, kokichi makes another sonic reference, saying “faker? I think you’re the fake hedgehog around here!” while he confuses everyone, the dialogue makes the odd choice of stopping on shuichi, even though the dialogue box only includes “…” and nothing else.

chapter 2

if you have unlocked tsumugi’s sonic dialogue and go to the monomono machine, you now have a 5% chance of getting sonic merchandise. if you give this merchandise to kokichi, you get some interesting dialogue. he says “wow, shuichi! how did you know that I grew up playing sonic and that it’s my absolute favorite video game series of all time?” this immediately maxes out all 5 of his friendship fragments, and you can get all 5 of his hangouts without giving him any more presents. you’re probably wondering why this is important, but you will see.

as kaede is now dead, shuichi finds himself horribly alone. while kaito is there and starts calling him his sidekick, the force of protagonist syndrome has caused shuichi to gain the courage to hang out with anyone, including kokichi of course. I don’t need to talk about kokichi’s hangouts. they literally end with “I stole your heart, so now I’m satisfied!” and it doesn’t get gayer than that.

or does it?

if you investigate the bathroom part of ryoma’s lab during this chapter and click on a very specific spot in order to enter one of the stalls, you can click on the toilet 5 times and shuichi will lie down on the floor. while it’s to investigate the underside of the toilet, and there is nothing to be found, the words “kokichi was here” are written on the ceiling above the stall. if you’ve already hung out with kokichi at least once in this chapter, shuichi will sigh and wonder what kokichi is doing right now.

if you’ve given kokichi the sonic merchandise, and you reach kokichi’s final free time event in this chapter, he will actually question shuichi after he finishes bandaging kokichi’s finger up, briefly commenting on how shuichi managed to get close to him so quickly and asking him “what his trick is”. he says “you must like me a whole lot, shuichi. I hope you don’t bail on me after this.” word for word, literally just hear me out.

“kokichi places his warm hand on mine, and I feel like he’s prying much deeper than he usually does.”

“I didn’t think that was possible…”

chapter 3

little did you know, giving kokichi the sonic merchandise unlocked a bonus hangout. yes, you heard me right. a WHOLE bonus hangout. you can hang out with him again whenever you want in this chapter. kokichi only says “good to see you.” you can select yes or no.

the screen will fade to black.

you have used up a free time.

if you have reached this hidden part of kokichi’s relationship sequence, random dialogue that isn’t in the normal game starts getting sprinkled in, as well as certain easter eggs. when angie starts her whole shtick, since you’ve already hung out with kokichi 5 times, there are a few things he has to say straight up, like how he’s going to teach shuichi about cults so shuichi doesn’t accidentally join the student council.

chapter 4

now that you’ve finally reached chapter 4 and activated the secret kokichi pathway, you get a hidden scene, much like the others that are triggered by having specific items in your inventory. in the middle of the night, kokichi breaks into shuichi’s room and shakes him awake, telling him that someone stole his almond milk.

shuichi tells kokichi to shut up and rolls over.

fun fact, if you get the hangout with miu where she checks whether shuichi is a virgin, she does, in fact, say “ha, I can’t believe this!” and if you zoom in the window behind her, you can barely make out kokichi’s face. peering in. watching you. if you click on him at any point during this hangout, you will hear a voice clip of kokichi’s laugh and shuichi will internally respond to miu’s dialogue differently. he will think “miu is the last person I need to know about this…”

in this sonic dialogue route, shuichi responds slightly differently to kokichi revealing that he is the mastermind. although his dialogue is mostly the same, he counts approximately 22 extra crying sprites, implied to be caused by additional heartbreak.

chapter 5-6

these chapters play out mostly the same way until the very end, the only exception being when you’re investigating kokichi’s lab. if you click on kokichi’s throne 13 times, one of the bookshelves will slide out of the way to reveal a hidden bathroom. there is an envelope taped to the wall that says “for my beloved detective, who habitually smacks things over and over.” it says “if you’re reading this, I’m probably dead. or am I? wouldn’t you like to know? nishishi.” shuichi comments about the fact that kokichi literally wrote that stupid laugh out, only to start crying again.

make sure that you have kind lie equipped as one of your skills before you start the final trial.

if you’ve done everything exactly according to plan up to this point, the ending is different.

tsumugi decides to show kokichi’s audition tape instead of kaede’s. he says “I’d love to be a part of danganronpa! I can finally be a bad guy without being scared!” but then kokichi looks directly at the camera. he says “naw, just messing with you. guess who?”

the screen cracks.

kokichi has suddenly entered the scene of the trial. tsumugi looks horrified. her wig falls off. everyone is at a loss for words. suddenly the screens and lights around them start to black out until everyone is left in almost complete darkness.

shuichi finally asks kokichi how he’s alive. he’s like, “you DIED” and kokichi is like “or did I? it’s the grand finale, shuichi! I owe you the truth this one time, because you’re my favorite.” everyone listens intently. “you see, by observing your irrational actions, almost like that of a main character… I was able to conclude that we exist in a fictional world that plays by certain rules. but we all been knew, didn’t we? not quite! someone forgot to test for exploits.” himiko just goes like “what the fuck you smokin?” and kokichi just laughs. “my self awareness has given me more power than you can possibly imagine! let’s just say I learned where the hit boxes are broken and installed a few cheat codes in the meantime!”

“no… that’s impossible! this isn’t supposed to be part of the ending at all!” tsumugi doesn’t like that one bit. she just kinda breaks down crying. shuichi isn’t paying attention to her though. he had accepted oblivion only to be greeted with kokichi being alive. as annoying as kokichi is, they are hopelessly in love. maki is a little disturbed.

after passionately reuniting with shuichi, kokichi says the thing. “this world is mine now, tsumugi! you got nothin on this! it’s time to say goodbye to this trash dump and create a new reality!” tsumugi just kinda goes like “noooo!!!”

everything goes black. shuichi has a vision about entering creative mode. kokichi has opped him. they take hands. “let’s create someplace way more fun.” maki and himiko and keebo look at each other because they’re floating in the background and watching this happen even though it’s supposed to be an internal vision. the screen goes white.

shuichi graces us with some internal protagonist dialogue about how he doesn’t really understand what’s happening anymore or what’s waiting for them outside of this world, but he thinks that things might turn out ok.

after unlocking this ending, you unlock a super secret video that you can view from the main menu. it’s a fully animated video of kokichi and dice dancing to world is mine. this is what they spent all their budget on

[lloydskywalkers]

Heyo! Hope your doing exceptionally well, wonderful and ur staying safe! I was reading ur little oneshots for the movie! Verse and instantly fell in love! Think u have anymore for Kai and Lloyd? (But u don’t need to listen to this, obviously hehe) Have a splendid day!

ahhH thank you, I hope you’re doing well too!! :D oh man it’s been so long since i’ve written something for movie-verse, but I’ve had this little snippet in my head for a while so I guess it’s as good a time as any (and it is, of course, about kai and lloyd bc when is it noT)

it’s a little different than what i usually write, for movie-verse? but i hope it fits the bill! (takes place pre-movie, btw)

Of all his friends, Lloyd thinks Kai is most like the sun. Not just for his codename, and the enthusiasm with which he brings fire to the team, metaphorically and far too often literally, but for how bright he is. Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun at full force, strong and blazing and staunchly refusing to let anyone hide from his warmth. An endlessly combusting ball of stubbornness and passion.

Kai also reminds Lloyd of the sun in the way that he possesses about the same amount of brain cells the sun does, which is zero, because the sun has no brain — much like Kai.

“Hey, ru—de, ow, stop—”

Kai’s petulant response strangles off in cracked pain as Lloyd hushes him, simultaneously pulling the alcohol-soaked cloth from his arm with a sympathetic wince.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lloyd murmurs, wringing the edge of the cloth. “But I’ve gotta — it’ll get infected, if you don’t—”

“Nah, s’okay,” Kai says, breath hissing out through clenched teeth. He gives Lloyd a wavering smile that could almost be encouraging, were he not bleeding over Lloyd’s faded bedspread. “Just caught me off guard, I’m good now. ‘Sides, the — the stitches are gonna be worse, so—”

“It won’t be that bad,” Lloyd promises him, cleaning the rest of the deep slashes that run across Kai’s arm as quickly as he can. The lower ones aren’t so bad — he could get away without stitches, maybe. It’s the uppermost one that scares Lloyd, cutting deep enough into Kai’s skin to pose a threat. And Lloyd has no intention of leaving Kai anywhere near in danger, especially with the reason he’s hurt in the first place.

Lloyd swallows against the thick lump that suddenly forms in his throat, trying to banish the flood of emotions that have been rising since the battle against his father’s forces earlier. Surprise, shock, gratitude—? A swirling maelstrom of a deep-seated kind of aching warmth Lloyd is utterly unfamiliar with. It leaves him off-kilter, and words don’t come easily as they usually do.

Not that words ever come easily to Lloyd, but normally he isn’t quite this stuttering. Maybe. He hopes not. Maybe he’s just hyperaware right now, after everything, and he always sounds this embarrassing.

“I promise,” Lloyd continues, yanking himself from his thoughts as he busies with the needle. “I’ve got a lot of experience, and I’ll be gentle.”

Kai watches Lloyd threading the needle with a thinly-veiled fear, but he nods, the bravado Lloyd’s more familiar with making its way across his face. “Nice,” he says. “I trust you, Dr. Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s hands falter with the needle for a moment, before he resumes sterilizing it, ducking his head. Kai sounds like he means it — Kai sounds like he means everything he says, but the way he says trust hits differently, for Lloyd.

They’ve only been a team for few months, now. Not very long at all, to form any kind of trust in the son of your greatest enemy. Lloyd’s been going to school with some of the same people since kindergarten, and they’ve never looked at him with anything kinder than hatred, much less trust. And yet Kai is here, offering him his bleeding arm in Lloyd’s tiny room, trusting him to repair the damage he only took because he was protecting Lloyd.

Lloyd doesn’t understand. He doesn’t — people don’t — but his team—

They listened to him. Actually listened to him, to Lloyd. They actually listen to him in general, have since they were all thrown together in this odd little grouping, but it hasn’t quite hit home in the way it did tonight, when he’d snapped orders at them in barely-restrained panic, Kai’s blood staining his fingers as he’d staunched the knife wounds meant for him.

They hadn’t flinched back at his raised voice. Lloyd never raises his voice — he’s learned to keep it quiet, soft, unassuming. Even the slightest slip of frustration is enough to send anyone around him murmuring in suspicion, eyes narrowing and hissed whispers of just like his father filling the air.

Lloyd’s voice had been sharp and strained, barking across the rooftop, and they’d listened. No one flinched back, no eyes widened in fear — they’d just listened. They’re still listening, carrying out Lloyd’s orders without question, and it’s — it’s dizzying, if Lloyd had to put a word to it.

Cole and Zane are taking care of clean-up — something Lloyd will have to thank them for later, profusely. Neither were particularly happy about letting Kai out of their sights, but Cole and Zane are better at keeping each other steady than anyone else. It was the right call, Lloyd knows it was. Hopes it was.

But Lloyd hasn’t been having much faith in his calls, tonight. Not after Kai went down.

He swallows, focusing on the sounds reverberating from behind his closed door. Nya and Jay are talking with his mother, Nya’s louder tones easier to hear as she laughs. Lloyd knows her well enough to catch the strain in it, but he knows it’ll fool his mother. They’re distraction — Lloyd’s house was closest, and he’s got the best supplies stashed there. No one questions why he’s the one with the fully stocked medical kit, but Lloyd suspects they’ve all drawn their own conclusions.

He wishes they’d believe him, when he says it’s because he’s worried for them. He grew up with Wu as his uncle, who picks fights on a daily basis — with Morro as his cousin, who picks fights on an hourly basis. Lloyd knows the importance of having the good kind of medical supplies.

He finishes prepping the needle, squeezing Kai’s wrist briefly in warning. Lloyd’s not usually a tactile person — not that anyone would let him be — but he knows Kai soaks up touch like a starved sponge, and Lloyd’s desperate to give any kind of comfort he can before he starts with the needle.

Kai swallows, fixing his eyes firmly on the faded glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across Lloyd’s ceiling.

“Okay,” he says, his voice tight. “Bring it on.”

Lloyd swallows, steels himself, and sets the needle against his skin. Kai flinches at the first prick, eyes squeezing shut briefly, but otherwise he doesn’t move, jaw set stubbornly as Lloyd moves quickly. For his part, Lloyd keeps his eyes locked on the stitches, his hands steady. For all that Lloyd’s made up of bouncing nerves half the time, his hands rarely shake. Never when patching wounds up. He’s always been proud of how steady he can hold a needle, and tonight is no exception.

It’s the least he can do.

Kai suddenly tenses up, a broken-off noise strangling in his throat. Lloyd’s heart twists, but he stays steady, rallying himself. Conversation — Kai likes talking, right? Distraction, he can do that.

“So, um,” Lloyd stutters. On second thought, he’s awful at small talk. But — for Kai. “The way you took down that last guy was, it was really cool. Where’d you learn that?”

Kai bites his lip, exhaling shakily before he answers. “I train too, you know.”

Lloyd’s mouth quirks, despite himself. “Not like that.”

“What, a ninja can’t — can’t get creative,” Kai replies, through half-gritted teeth. Lloyd doesn’t say anything, but Kai rolls his eyes, continuing. “Fine. When I was younger, I ah…might’ve taken a few dance classes. For Nya! ‘Cause I couldn’t let her go alone, y’know, but they were — they were kinda fun, I guess, and maybe they slip into fighting, sometimes.” His cheeks darken, and Lloyd bites back a quiet laugh.

“Nothing like Cole, obviously, ‘cause he’s an actual dancer, but — that’s where I got it from.” He pins Lloyd with a glare, that’s somewhat dimmed by the scrunched expression of pain on his face. “Tell anyone and you’re dead though, okay?”

Lloyd hums his agreement, too focused on the stitches to reply immediately. After a moment, though, he speaks up again. “I did some ballet, when I was little.”

“No way,” Kai says, sounding delighted.

“Yeah, way,” Lloyd says. “I’ve heard from a very reliable source that dancing backgrounds are useful, with ninja stuff.”

“Very reliable meaning your uncle,” Kai grins.

Lloyd shrugs. “Maybe,” he half-smiles. Kai suddenly sucks in another pained breath, but to Lloyd’s relief, it’s likely the last one. He finishes off the stitches with a well-practiced hand, snapping the end of the thread and exhaling in relief.

“There. All done.”

Kai’s eyes widen. “Seriously, already?” He glances down at his arm, his other hand moving up to touch the stitches. Lloyd smacks it away, glaring at him.

“Don’t touch. You still have to watch out for infection. I’ll text you instructions for taking care of it, and everything. Just don’t do anything, ah…”

“No ninja-ing?” Kai finishes for him, crestfallen.

“Probably a good idea,” Lloyd says, apologetic. “But it’s not too bad. Shouldn’t take long, and you can be out, uh, ninja-ing again."

Kai is quiet for a moment, regarding his stitches. Then he turns to Lloyd, who is immediately staggered at the bright smile that stretches across his face.

“Cool. Thanks, Lloyd. You’re good at this.”

Lloyd can’t answer, his throat burning. He forces the welling moisture back, looking away. Kai’s only hurt for him, and that is layered with so much more meaning than Lloyd can comprehend right now.

“No problem,” Lloyd mutters, focusing instead on the voices outside his door in an attempt to find footing again. He can hear his mom laughing at something Nya’s said, open and relaxed in a way his mom rarely is. Lloyd’s heart twists into knots.

He doesn’t deserve them, any of them. Not really.

If Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun, then the rest of the team reminds him of stars. All bright and shining, bursting with warmth in their own way. Maybe not quite at the blazing heat that Kai does, but Nya is a north star if Lloyd’s ever needed one. Jay’s a blinking constellation, scattered stars that form a complex whole much larger than you’d thought. Cole’s the kind of star you see first pop up over the horizon, blending with the oranges and purples of the sunset, like a painting you’d see in soft watercolors. Zane’s the early-morning kind of star, the ones that stay stubbornly after the night’s left, dotting the pale morning with a calm steadiness.

Lloyd would be a planet, he supposes, caught in faithful orbit around the five people who have somehow, for some reason, given him a chance. It’d be generous, though. No, Lloyd is content just to be a moon — with no light of his own, reflecting only the brilliance others give him the best he can.

Kai’s finger taps the edge of his forehead, snapping Lloyd from his thoughts, and he blinks in confusion.

“Lost you there, again,” Kai asks, words mangled through a yawn. “Where’d you go?”

Lloyd shakes his head, turning his attention back to the bloodied thread leftover in his hands. His stomach turns, and he quickly sets it aside. “Just thinking.” He pauses, momentarily lost for words. He settles for jerking his head toward the window, where the smoke trailing from their hard-won battle is still visible against the dark sky, and gives Kai a wry smile. “How much do you wanna bet the cheerleading team comes up with a new song tomorrow?”

It’s been an inside joke for them, the ridiculous songs Chen and his gang keep coming up with to throw at Lloyd, and normally it gets a laugh from Kai. This time, though, Kai is silent, his eyes searching as he stares at Lloyd. Lloyd shifts under the attention, caught off-guard again. He doesn’t know what kind of look this is, that Kai’s giving him.

“They shouldn’t talk about you like that,” Kai finally says. His voice is quiet, but Lloyd can spot the brewing anger in it. Kai’s always got anger to spare.

“Sticks and stones, remember?” Lloyd shakes his head. He’s learned, after a while, that anger changes nothing. “Words will never hurt me.”

“Words hurt when people are throwing sticks and stones at you while they yell about your dad,” Kai grumbles.

“No one’s thrown rocks since second grade, actually.”

“Hm.” Kai’s tone is a mix of thinly withheld anger and mild amusement. Lloyd tilts his head, confused, and Kai gives a huff, anger tugging loose.

“Y’know, people say that if kids throw rocks at you in second grade, it means they’ve got a crush on you.”

Lloyd knows well enough it’s a joke, but he flushes red anyways, heat spreading across his cheeks. “Yeah, sure,” he stammers. Kai laughs at his reaction, though, the odd kind of anger departing, and Lloyd feels he’s found his footing again.

They’re quiet as Lloyd finishes cleaning up the medical supplies, Kai nodding sleepily on his bed while Lloyd carefully washes the needle in the bathroom sink. Maybe he can convince his mom to let Kai spend the night, he thinks. Jay and Nya , too — their apartment isn’t very big, but it’s awfully late to make them walk home, and Lloyd is fine with taking the floor, if he needs to.

Lloyd nods to himself, resolving to ask her once he’s finished hiding the evidence. His mom’s been so thrilled about him having people over at all, he can’t see her saying no. A smile pulls at his lips as he listens to the conversation outside his door again. Jay’s rambling on now, bright and excited without any of his usual reservation. He feels a pang, wondering if Jay’s the same as him — wondering if they’re all the same, playing at muted caricatures of themselves, too fearful to let whatever lies beneath shine through.

He wonders what it means, that they’re the ones with the city in their hands, that weight on their shoulders. Wonders what it means, that Lloyd feels safer with bullets strafing the air around him and his mask on, than he ever has with it off. That Green Ninja will always, always sound better than Lloyd in his ears.

“Hey, uh.”

Lloyd starts at Kai’s voice, twisting the sink off as he turns to face him. Kai looks half asleep, but the smile he gives him is bright as ever.

“Thanks, seriously. Not just for this, but for looking out for us. You’re a good friend.”

Lloyd’s heart skips a beat, his brain latching onto the word friend and holding on tightly, tucking it somewhere safe inside his chest.

“So thanks, Lloyd,” Kai yawns, barely awake at all now, but still stubbornly clinging to the threads of awareness.

Lloyd’s got his own thank you to give back, twisted and strangled behind whatever lump’s formed in his throat, but Kai’s snoring before he gets the chance to say it. So Lloyd tugs the edge of his comforter over his friend — his friend — instead, and runs the words over in his mind again and again, like a treasured line from a book.

On second thought. Maybe Lloyd isn’t so bad. He’s only ever liked his name the way his mom says it, without any of the snapping, harsh emphasis others give it. In others’ mouths, Lloyd’s name is a curse. In his mom’s, Lloyd’s name belongs to a person.

But he thinks, maybe, he likes the way it sounds when his teammates use it, too.

[13uswntimagines]

Your sister is who? (USWNT X Swift!Reader)

Hey Dudes, this is my first USWNT imagine. I’m considering writing more one shots from this universe but I haven’t decided yet. I’m totally open to requests and suggestions of things that you guys would like to see! All mistakes are 100% my own, and I hope you enjoy! Also reader is the baby of the team.

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

You loved your family more than anything in the world, but that didn’t mean that you always loved your last name. You had never been the most outgoing person in your 17 years on earth, but you had honestly never needed to be. The only part of you that most people were interested in was your last name, so you had learned to fade into the background and let your older sister work her social butterfly magic. Unless you were on the Soccer Pitch. That was your happy place. Who you were didn’t matter. You were only judged on your ability to get around the defenders and bury the ball into the net, which was something that you excelled at if you did say so yourself. The pitch was the only place in the world where you were more than simply Taylor Swift’s little sister, and you wanted to keep it that way.

Maybe that was why you had introduced yourself to the USWNT as simply Y/n, conveniently forgetting to add the Swift to the end. Maybe that was why you hadn’t told them who the Tay that you were texting all the time was. Maybe that was why you were so closed off anytime they had asked about your family in the past 2 months you had been on the team. Maybe that was why you were dreading the team bonding activity for the night so much. You didn’t like truth or dare to begin with, and the fact that your teammates were determined to get you to open up to them did nothing to ease the anxiety you were feeling as you sat between your self-declared team moms Alex and Kelley.

“I think I win that one” Lindsey smiled as she took a bow after finishing Sonnett’s dare. “But who should go next?” She hummed, sitting down and tapping her fingers to her chin.

“Well, the rookie hasn’t gone yet?” Megan Hummed back, smirking in your direction, laughing as you leaned a little closer to Alex, who wrapped her arm a little tighter around you.

“Ah yes, the rookie,” Lindsey smirked back. “Truth or dare rookie?” She asked, and you shrunk back a little further as you felt the eyes of the rest of the team land on you.

“Um, dare I guess?” You asked back unsure. So far, the truths had been really personal and uncomfortable questions that you had no desire to answer. At least with a dare, they couldn’t get you to reveal too much personal information.

“Brave choice kid” Ashlyn smirked, as Lindsey leaned in to listen to whatever Sonnett was whispering in her ear. The evil smile that crossed Lindsey’s face meant that whatever Emily had suggested was probably something that you really wouldn’t enjoy.

“Ok little striker, I dare you to give me free rein over your phone for 3 minutes,” Lindsey said with a chuckle. Alex immediately noticed how you tensed in her arms, your eyes growing comically wide with the implications of handing over your personal device.

“Um, that seems a little invasive don’t ya think?” You asked back quietly, praying to god that you would be able to get out of this.

“What if we set some ground rules, so nothing too bad happens?” Alex glared at where Emily and Lindsey were grinning triumphantly, rubbing your back. Those two hadn’t understood why you were so guarded, but then again neither of them was as shy as you were. They had been determined to get to know you, no matter how evasive you were. You huffed but nodded into her shoulder.

“You can go on messenger and photos, but not my social media.” You said back firmly, attempting to compromise with the women who were grinning like Cheshire cats. You were just glad that you had decided to use nicknames for all your contacts, at least they wouldn’t know who they were talking too. And your photos pretty much consisted of landscapes you had seen during each stop of your sister’s tours. You had never liked people, but you loved nature so that was what you filled your phone up with.

“Include the facetime app, we get five minutes and you have a deal.” Lindsey smiled, sticking her hand out for the phone. You huffed again, causing several of the girls to coo at how cute you looked, and handed over the desired device. Kelley laughed and pulled her own phone out to act as the timer.

You watched with worried eyes as most of the team got up to crowd around your device and Lindsey began to thumb through your phone. You glanced at the clock, praying that the time would tick by faster and that they wouldn’t find something that you didn’t want them to.

“You’re no fun kid,” Megan mumbled as she watched Lindsey scroll through the crazy names that adorned your contact list.

“Alright, Who’s Tay?” Lindsey asked after 30 seconds of scrolling, glancing over to you.

“It’s Taylor” You groaned.

“Who’s Taylor?” Emily asked, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

“No, one” You responded far too quickly, your cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

“So you tell no one that you love them all the time?” Megan hummed disbelieving as you tried to hide even further into Alex’s neck, and Kelley’s hand began to rub comforting circles on your back.

“Just tell us who he is, and we’ll leave you alone” Mal laughed at your discomfort, the memories of her rookie year still very fresh in her mind.

“It’s not a he. It’s my sister.” You said quietly. The room went silent at the admission, the eyebrows of your teammates furrowing. Some not understanding why having a sister named Taylor was such a big deal, and other’s trying to figure out why you had been so reluctant to give up such a small piece of information.

“Wait. The name on your uniform is Swift.” Someone said, breaking the tension in the room. You nodded slowly, whining as Alex attempted to remove you from your hiding spot.

“So that means that Taylor is Taylor Swift. As in The Taylor Swift” Emily nearly yelled back. Your Y/E/C orbs peaked out of Alex’s neck to meet the wide eyes of your teammates as you sent them yet another small nod.

“There’s no fucking way dude.” Lindsey snorted, shooting you a disbelieving look, causing you to laugh.

“Well, there is a way cause I exist so…” You shrugged, sending her a shy smile, as several indistinguishable questions were thrown your way from your shocked teammates.

“I’m going to call her to prove it.” She said, glancing back towards your phone, and you sucked in a deep breath.

“She’s probably in a meeting or something” you mumbled, returning to your hiding spot. You hadn’t intended this. Your phone rang out with telltale sounds of a facetime call, and your heart speeding up at the sound that signaled that someone had picked up.

“Hey kiddo, everything alright?” Taylors concerned voice filled the room, and the team gasped.

“Holy Shit you’re actually The Taylor Swift,” Emily said shocked, her mouth hanging open.

“Guilty as charged, and you must be The Emily Sonnett?” Your sister giggled, as Lindsey reached over and closed Emily’s mouth.

“You know who I am. How do you know who I am?” Emily began to fangirl, flapping her arms excitedly as the room burst into laughter.

“Y/n talks about you guys all the time. Speaking of Y/N/N, where is she?” Taylor questioned, concern leaking into her voice. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the women, but Y/n wasn’t one to introduce people to her. Her little sister was a shy, smol bean, and just the fact that she hadn’t seen her yet was causing her a little anxiety. They had always been close, and Taylor would be dammed if her little sister got hurt.

“Over there hiding in Alex’s neck” Lindsey laughed back, flipping the camera to show you sitting on Alex’s lap, curled into her neck. She sighed in relief, glad that you seemed to be connecting with someone other than her, as that was never one of your strong suits.

“Hey Tay,” Alex smiled, waving as the offending phone was passed to her. The Y/E/C eyed girl peeking out to smile at her older sister. Taylor smiled back and chatted for a few minutes with Alex before she needed to go. Y/n said her goodbyes and hung up, pointedly avoiding the questioning eyes of her teammates.

“So you talk about Sonnett, do you talk about me?” Lindsey asked, wiggling her eyebrows, and you couldn’t stop your cheeks from turning impossibly redder.

“Um…” You stalled, unable to form the right words. The truth was that you might have a small, well not so small, crush on a certain defender. It was kinda hard when she was a literal ball of sunshine all of the time, and your sister had given you great advice so far. The problem was that you were too much of a wus to do anything about it, and you were utterly convinced that the age difference left you with a 0% chance.

“Leave her alone guys,” Alex said sternly, tightening her arm around you and leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Why didn’t you tell me that I knew your sister?” She said quietly, rocking you back and forth.

You sighed. “Cause I wanted you guys to know me for my soccer skills and not who my family is.” You responded equally as quietly as if talking any louder would break you.

“Trust me, kid, we know all about your soccer skills” Tobin laughed, causing you to smile. You may or may not have nutmegged the nutmeg queen during practice, several times.

“But why would you hide?” Christen asked gently, moving towards you and Alex.

“People hear the name Swift and it’s like I don’t even exist. I mean, I’ve met all of you guys before and none of you even remember that. I mean I love Taylor, but soccer is my thing and I wanted it to stay that way.” You murmured, ashamed. You loved Taylor and you were incredibly proud of her, but for just this once you wanted to be known for who you are and not who your sister was.  

“You’ve met us before?” Kelley said in disbelief. How had they met you and not remembered it? Sure, you were a little shy, but you were incredibly sweet and adorable. Plus she was convinced that you would be hilarious once they got you to come out of your shell.

“When she invited you on the stage during the 1989 Tour. She did it because I was such a huge fan of you guys.” You answered back, staring down at your hands. She had felt guilty about missing your U20 championship match and had invited the team on stage to make up for it. You had been so excited, but you had once again faded into the background the moment your sister was in the room. She had tried to put you front and center, but you had been so nervous that words had been nearly impossible.

“That’s why she traded us tour merch for our signed jersey’s” Tobin put the pieces together, vividly remembering trading her jersey for a signed sweatshirt.

“Yep,” You said back, popping the p, and smiling at them.

“and you met us? Why don’t I remember that?” Megan cut back in, trying to remember that night. She remembered Taylor and going on stage, but where had you been? There was no way she would have intentionally ignored you.

“Because Taylor was there and I’m just her little sister.” You shrugged, used to the fact that Taylor cast a huge shadow, one you typically didn’t mind hiding in.

“Well, I can promise you one thing. You Y/n Swift are so much more than just Taylor’s little sister” Alex said with finality. Squeezing you tight.

“Yeah dude, you put Sonnett on her Ass during practice” Tobin laughed, as Emily pouted. It was true. Emily had been assigned to mark you, which had proven to be a very difficult task. It had taken both her and Becky to finally shut down your goal-scoring abilities.

“And got 3 goals, past Uncle.” Becky added, smiling at you, as you cuddled further into your team “mom”.

“You, my dear, are a fantastic striker, and every time you step onto the pitch you show the world that you’re on the team because you’re amazing and not because of who you’re related to,” Megan said, cooing at how adorable you were. Not that she would ever say it out loud, as they had learned early on that you hated being called adorable.

“And you guys don’t hate me for not telling you?” You asked quietly, glancing up at the 22 other women carefully watching you.

“We could never hate you kid,” Kelley grinned, bumping you with her shoulder.

“Now how bout you tell us what it’s like to The Taylor Swift as a sister?” Ali smirked at you. She was one of the few that knew exactly who you were from the first moment you had walked into camp.

“Well, her fans are crazy.” You laughed, your shoulder’s relaxing, reassured that you were so much more than just a Swift. You were a force to be reckoned with, and you couldn’t wait to show the world what you were made of.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Jihoon: Unfamiliar (Part One)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, familiar au, fantasy, kinda angst but kinda not???, a lil fluffy ig

Word count: 1,779

Summary: Jihoon’s never really been considered a warm or affectionate person. His pack teases him about what it’ll be like when he finally gets a mate, but he doesn’t worry about it. Little do they know that his mate is a lot closer than they think.

Tag list: @choiminjae0325 @heolykpop @fullsun-donghyuck @yoonbabe-d @exuwu @lets-get-1t @vintageot5 @sehunnies-hunnie96 @childfmoonn @wobwobkpop @henloimawierdobye @dirinast @joshwoah @wreckedbytae​ @salty-for-suga @janellxu​ @xu-miseo @uglyratlmao @sakura-uji​ @littleheartsays @onewoowonderboy @kesmonster @xxbluestrifexx​ @starlightshua​ @artistic-rendition​ (if you wanna be added please send an ask!!)

Unable to tag: @birthday-prinxess @sooooofrench

a/n: things in italics are in a dream. also uhhhh yeah so i never even got to start jihoon’s part in the og tftp so hopefully this goes well lmao i hope yall like it !!!!!!

Next | Unfamiliar Masterlist

The first time Jia saw you, she didn’t recognize you. She only knew you as the fluffy black cat with your bright green eyes and sharp teeth that poked out of your mouth. 

“Hello?” her familiar, calming voice had you whipping around, almost excited to see the girl you’d help get back home.

But when you saw her, you paused as well -- just for a moment. You were so used to seeing the foreign girl from a much lower angle, so seeing her at your normal height made her look a little different than you remembered.

“Jiaying,” your face slowly broke into a smile. “It’s been a while.”

“We know each other?” she asked, but she didn’t seem afraid. Maybe a little confused, but her wide, blue eyes were full of curiosity rather than concern.

“Suppose I look a bit different when I’m not a cat,” you chuckled.

Jia’s eyes widened, “_____?”

“Nice to see you again.”

She ran up to you and wrapped her arms around your waist, giving you a tight hug and refusing to let go, “_____, I missed you!”

“Wow, okay,” you laughed, rubbing her back.

Honestly, you were kind of...happy she missed you. You didn’t expect her to, really. Maybe it was because you weren’t used to having friends. Maybe because you couldn’t really communicate with anybody. Maybe because you were just a cat to most people.

But you already knew Jia wasn’t most people.

“How are you suddenly here?” she asked, pulling back but keeping her hands on your waist. “Well, how am I here?”

“You tell me,” you shrugged. “It’s your power, isn’t it?”

You recalled back in the cottage when Jia explained her whole background to you. It was around the time she had realized you understood her, and it was mainly for her to keep sane. She would talk to you about anything and everything, and you’d just sit there and listen -- it wasn’t like you could give your two cents anyway.

“Is this what you look like as a human?” she asked, stepping back a few paces to look you over. She giggled. “You’re so cute!”

“Haven’t heard that a lot...” you chuckled, nodding your head slowly.

Jia’s expression suddenly turned serious, her bright blue eyes looking curiously into yours, “What exactly...happened to you, _____?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you look like this all the time?”

You ran a hand through your hair, letting out a gust of air as you shrugged, “I just can’t.”

You knew why. You knew very well the reason why. But you didn’t want to tell Jia. You knew she’d want to involve herself, and you didn’t want that. You didn’t want to give yourself a false sense of hope like you had years ago. 

She frowned, her brows furrowing as she stared down at the ground. The two of you were in the forest -- not any location in particular -- and the sun seemed to be setting or rising. You weren’t completely sure. Dreams were weird.

“Are you going to come visit?” she wondered after a moment of her just staring down at the grass, finally raising her head again to look at you.

You shrugged, “Maybe.”

“I want you to.”

You couldn’t help but smile a bit, “Yeah, I know. But I’m not becoming your house cat, y’know.”

“You remind me of Jooyeon,” she stated with a warm laugh.

“Remind me which one that is again.”

“The thief.”

“Ah, right,” you nodded. “Well, I’m not sure if that should be a compliment, then.”

“_____, the offer’s always open,” Jia told you, changing the subject back. She seemed to excited to talk to you again to be able to focus on one thing, but you thought that was kind of adorable.

When you saw her before, she was more sad and lonely. She missed her family and you were just focusing on getting her back to them -- and getting that old hag killed was just a bonus. But now she was brighter and warmer and more excitable. You liked seeing this Jia. You were happy for her.

“Thanks,” you nodded, “but--”

“You don’t have to say anything about it,” she interjected. “Just...know it’s there, okay?”

You offered her a small half-smile, “Okay.”

“I’m going to wake up soon,” she sighed. “Jiwoo’s crying really loudly. I think Mingyu’s too tired to wake up.”

“Right, the dad,” you nodded, vaguely recalling her saying one of the werewolves had a child maybe half a year ago -- but that was maybe almost a month ago. The idea of having a family was so weird to you considering you hadn’t been in your human form for a long time. “Well...take care of yourself, alright?”

“You too,” she smiled softly.

And then she faded from your dream, leaving you alone with a weird, empty feeling.

You woke up not too long after that, your tail curled around yourself as you rested on the couch in the small cottage. You weren’t sure how long until someone came along and found it, but you continued to sleep there. You weren’t sure what else to do with yourself now other than sleep. You also had to find new means of feeding yourself, hoping you wouldn’t have to resort to catching field mice again. You didn’t necessarily have to eat, but feeling hungry was just uncomfortable. The witch made you catch your own food for a while until you just started stealing her breakfast and dinner before running out the window to eat it where she couldn’t bother you. Then, of course, there was Jia who took care of you properly.

Of course there was a part of you who wanted to go home with Jia. But you also knew that wasn’t where you belonged. You couldn’t live out your pathetic life as a pet. Even though you didn’t expect to fulfill what the witch had told you, you didn’t want to live for however long as some house cat. Besides, you didn’t want anyone knowing anything about you or why you were the way you were. Jia only gathered a little bit of information, and that was all you would allow.

Your eyes looked over to the window, seeing the sun just barely about to rise. You stretched and let out a silent yawn before hopping down from the couch, and making your way outside through the window in the kitchen. Then you went off in search of something to keep you entertained for the day, just like you did every other day.

-

Jihoon wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand as he straightened his back. Having fresh vegetables was nice, but gathering them when the hot sun was beating down on him kind of sucked. He would’ve much rather roped someone else into doing it alongside Minghao and Seungkwan, but he was an alpha and had to be responsible.

In the yard, he could hear Jiwoo’s soft giggles as Danbi played with her in her lap with Soomin, Mingyu’s grunts as he chopped firewood near the house with the ax that Jooyeon was proud to say she sharpened, and Seungcheol and Joshua attempting to fix a broken shutter on the second floor. The other wolves were inside either making food or doing other chores. Jooyeon was off at the market with Jeonghan to get groceries, and Jia had asked to tag along. While Minghao was definitely even more protective of her now, he knew he couldn’t live in fear of her being taken again -- plus the witch was dead thanks to him -- so he let her go, knowing Jeonghan and Jooyeon would keep sharp eyes on her.

“She was very excited to go, though,” Minghao had said when him, Seungkwan, and Jihoon had began working in the vegetable garden. “More excited than normal.”

“Is she still hoping to find that cat?” Seungkwan scoffed. “The witch is gone, so the cat probably is, too.”

“But it was with her at the cottage. Junhui tried to find it for her after but it ran off.”

But even while working, Jihoon didn’t think much of the situation or the cat. Even though Junhui still liked to poke fun at him for how much he seemed to like the fluffy black cat, it was still just a cat. It wasn’t significant to him, and it was easily forgotten. Why would he be hung up on some animal, anyway? It had been a month since he’d seen it.

“Hao!” Jia’s voice called as she walked around the back of the house from the front with Jeonghan, and Jooyeon flanking hthem, Jeonghan carrying the majority of the groceries while Jooyeon only had two bags.

“Home already?” Minghao asked as he stood up from his work, his t-shirt damped with sweat that also slicked his black hair back.

“Did you happen to grab any lemons?” Seungkwan asked with a slight whine in his voice. “I want some of Danbi’s lemonade.”

“Then grow some,” Jooyeon deadpanned before heading inside to put groceries away -- she tried to take some of the bags from Jeonghan, but he shooed her away.

“Did you have fun?” Minghao asked, walking through the garden to meet his mate halfway. “You seemed eager to leave.”

“Because I saw _____ in my dream!” she grinned.

“Who?” Mingyu called from where he was still chopping up firewood, his shirt long since discarded.

“The cat,” both Minghao and Jia replied.

“I was hoping maybe she’d be at the market,” Jia explained before he face slowly began to fall, “but...I don’t think she was.”

Jihoon turned around to look at Jia, running a hand through his sweaty hair, “Remind me again the significance of this cat?”

Jia merely shrugged, “I liked her.”

Jihoon sighed and shook his head. He knew that couldn’t be all there was to it -- Jia liked a lot of animals but she didn’t wander out in the forest looking for the squirrel she fed from her palm once -- but he also knew it was useless to fight with her on this. Jia was a strange girl -- very sweet and likable, but strange. Peculiar was probably the proper word.

“How did you have a dream with a cat in it?” Seungcheol wondered as he held the ladder that Joshua had climbed up to fix the shutter. 

“Yeah, that seems...weird,” Joshua agreed, not looking away from where he was hammering a nail into the wood.

But while the pack debated on the accuracy of Jia’s story and reasoning, Jihoon just went back to work and drowned them all out.

[violetwolfraven]

Elmer headcanons?

Ok!

He’s canonly the youngest of 9 so like. Damn. I only have one sibling and I can’t imagine how much that would suck.

I imagine him having 4 brothers and 4 sisters so El was the tie breaker.

After him his parents go yeah we’re done.

As far as I know Elmer’s siblings don’t have canon names so it goes like this (in 1885) Elmer (0), Hope (1), Adam (3), Jarek (5), Ada (7), Hubert (8), Karina (9) Filip (10), and Irena (13).

Anyway Hope is only a year older so Elmer isn’t even of the baby of the family by that much.

So by the time he’s like 6 he doesn’t get much attention anymore. Everyone’s more interested in his oldest few siblings getting their first jobs and Irena and Filip getting their first partners.

When he was really young, Elmer always tried to play with Adam and Jarek, but they already had each other as playmates, so they excluded him a lot.

And of course Hope finds it annoying when he sticks to her (like glue haha) so she lashes out.

Hubert, Karina, Filip, and Irena are so much older that they just don’t have anything in common or any time for him.

So Elmer gets used to fading into the background because Ada is the only one who ever pays attention to him and even then she’s enough older that they can’t have much in common.

In modern AU he meets the others in about 6th grade.

In canon era he meets them when he’s 9 (3 years younger than Jack) after Irena gets married and the family needs to send another kid to work to make up for losing her factory income.

Either way Elmer is kinda just... baffled by all this attention and affection he’s getting suddenly.

Like his friends roughhouse and joke around and sometimes jokes are at his expense but it’s never in a meanspirited way.

They listen when he talks and actively choose to be around him and in general just notice he’s there and he’s... never had that before.

Elmer is super touch-starved and once his friends figure that out they’re all eager to give him all the hugs he wants.

In both eras, it’s Jack who first notices that he has dyslexia and assures him that he’s not stupid, it’s just that reading is harder for him than most people.

In modern era since there’s a word for it there he gets tested and diagnosed and all that but in canon era for the most part Jack or Race just read the headlines out loud every morning to help.

In canon era Jack, Race, Buttons, and later Davey are the only ones who know.

Speaking of Buttons...

In canon era, he shows up when he and Elmer are 10.

They hit it off immediately because they have something in common the other kids don’t; they both still have families and multiple siblings.

The two of them start staying at the Lodging House most nights to escape the craziness of their families at age 12.

Elmer is a little clumsy, so Buttons often ends up patching up torn clothes.

And sometimes more than clothes which is totally not because Elmer keeps standing up for those no one else will stand up for.

In all seriousness Elmer is 500% ready to throw hands for literally any random stranger who needs his help, and also horses, cats, dogs, and one time a cow.

Buttons is pretty sure he’s got a death wish because he’s had to figure out real fast how to patch up wounds from broken bottles, wooden boards, and crowbars, among other things.

He angrily lectures Elmer to be more careful more than once and basically cue Elmer all like hot damn.

Something about Buttons’s fierce brand of kindness... he gets stuck on that. He needs to be near him.

He doesn’t realize he’s falling is love until during the strike—when they’re 14–and they don’t get together until they’re 18 and they’re leaving for better jobs and Elmer asks Buttons to stay.

Not in the Manhattan Lodging House, but with him.

Anyway in modern era, Elmer is just as eager to throw down in defense of others but gets a lot less opportunities.

He and Buttons take longer to get close.

They kinda know each other cause they’re friends with the same people but then one day some bullies decide to pick on Buttons and Elmer is naturally all just oh okay time to throw down now.

Cue Buttons all like hot damn but definitely too shy to do anything about it.

They don’t talk much for a couple months after that despite how Elmer does think Buttons is cute too.

Anyway Elmer spends a lot of time at other people’s houses in this era (mostly the Larkin and Dasilva houses) just to get away from the crazy crowdedness of his own family.

Then one day Jarek forgets to pick him up from mathletes (because you can pry modern!Elmer being Cady Heron’s national-level math nemesis out of my cold dead hands) and it’s pouring down rain outside.

Still, instead of calling someone to come get him Elmer naturally thinks I can totally walk 2 miles to get home through that and puts his hoodie hood up and gets moving.

Not even half a mile later he’s freezing, soaking wet, and starving cause he hasn’t eaten since lunch.

He’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out, and he really doesn’t want to do that on the sidewalk so he starts thinking about friends who live closer to the school than he does.

The nearest house happens to be the Davenports’.

Needless to say Buttons is pretty shocked when his crush shows up on his doorstep soaking wet but still with a big smile, all just hi Buttons can I crash here for a bit?

Unfortunately Elmer meant crash quite literally, as he straight up faints right then and there and Buttons has to drag him inside.

It’s probably a good thing Buttons is home alone at the time.

When Elmer wakes up he’s pretty disoriented but warm and (relatively) dry under a blanket on Buttons’s couch.

He looks over to realize that Buttons is sitting in a chair nearby just watching the movie he put on quietly in the background and just. Oh shit I just passed out in front of a cute boy.

He kinda panics like I should go sorry for barging in but Buttons is like wtf no you literally passed out you’re either calling someone to come get you or staying the night. Now drink some fucking hot chocolate and get some self-preservation instincts you idiot.

And Elmer feels like he should call someone to come get him but he also doesn’t really want to cause hot damn.

In the end he does call Jack to pick him up and Jack chews him out for trying to walk home in a storm but he also notices the look he and Buttons share at the door.

Elmer ends up texting Buttons and asking if he wants to meet up for coffee as a thank you for not letting me freeze to death in the rain.

They end up spending a lot of time together and eventually get set up by Jack by their friends who are all tired of their shit like good god guys we all know you’re in love just kiss already.

If Elmer was confused by all the affection he was getting from having a good platonic friend group, he’s very confused by the affection he gets being in a romantic relationship.

Buttons kinda wants to throw hands with his boyfriend’s big siblings for that but that’s besides the point.

Anyway it takes him a while to get used to even just small gestures like holding hands but once he gets used to it Elmer is 100% the cuddliest boyfriend ever.

He’s still super touch-starved so he’s lucky he’s got a bf who also loves physical contact.

He’s so in love with that boy and he’s happy and seen and finally has a family that appreciates him.

^both eras.

[drhxnkmccoy]

If I Could Turn Back Time - Peter Maximoff x Reader

a/n: hi guys! i know. i’ve been gone for a REALLY long time. i’m really sorry! sporadic posting seems to be my calling. our holiday season at my store was absolutely insane and between forty hours a week and school i kind of forgot about this. sorry i kinda suck! anyway! this one was a request and it was super fun to write, i was a little bit stuck on the idea but i think it turned out pretty cool. i hope you guys enjoy! please leave me some requests too, i’m trying to get back into the groove of writing whilst we’re all under quarantine :)

Summary: Y/N has no idea what she did, or how she got there. But she knows exactly who she’s with.

She wasn’t quite sure how she got there. Hell, she was completely and totally baffled as to how she got there - nonetheless, how she would get back. As Y/N stood up from the charred grass around her, she stared in awe at the huge mansion in front of her, surrounded by a picturesque blue sky and fluffy white clouds. The image reminded her of a painting, too beautiful to be true. She slowly started walking towards the house, taking note that the beautiful watch Peter had given her was gone. A frown took shape on her face, but she resigned to getting out of here first and finding the watch later. As she knocked on the big, wooden door, she looked up, taking in the beautiful exterior and woodwork that graced the white walls and how the sun shone brightly off the roof. Honestly? She wished the mansion still looked like this.

“Can I help you?”

She looked back down to see a teenaged boy with silver hair holding the door open for her. He wore black jeans and a metallic, silver jacket. His hair would have fallen into his eyes if not for the goggles that sat on the crown of his head. His goofy little smile, though: that was what she recognized. As if she could ever forget the way his lips curled up, showing off his dimples like a model.

“Peter?” She gasped, awestruck at how… young he looked. He couldn’t be more than nineteen, and the whole concept quite frankly freaked her out.

“Uh. Yeah. Do I know you, or something?” He squinted his eyes at her, trying to think of how he could possibly know her, “You’re not a cop, right?”

“No!” She laughed, watching as relief flooded his features, “I… well, I’m not really sure how to explain who I am. Could you, uh, tell me what year it is first?”

Peter quirked his eyebrow, looking around in the background behind her. Maybe she was a spy? Peter’s head spun, as he went back and forth trying to come up with where this mysterious chick could have come from and how she knew him.

“It’s 1982. Seriously, where the hell did you come from?”

1982? She hadn’t realized how far she had gone back. Panic started to run through her veins as she suddenly became painfully aware of how far away from home she was, with no knowledge of how to return. Y/N began to breathe heavily, as Peter’s presence started to fade in light of her sudden anxiety.

“Whoa, hey. Calm down. It’s okay - WHOA!” Peter took a step back as she took in a sharp breath and her hair caught fire as if she was a tree struck by lightning. “How did you…” he took a second to watch the flames dance through her hair, understanding just why she wasn’t screaming out horribly in pain, “Are you a mutant?”

Y/N closed her eyes, trying to focus on the situation at hand. Her anxiety lingered, but the calm she was trying to force upon herself was able to subside it - for the most part. She felt the heat begin to die down and soon enough, the flames began to extinguish. 

“Uhhh… okay. Okay, this is fine. Everything is fine,” Peter mumbled to himself as he watched the flames disappear. What would Charles say in this situation? He knew exactly what Charles would say. Peter could practically hear Charles’ voice in his head, telling him to invite her in. “Do you, uh, want to come in?”

Y/N opened her eyes. The anxiety had faded and she had zoned back in at the sound of Peter’s invitation. Noting the look of mild terror on Peter’s face, she nodded, “Yes.. yes I would. Thank you.”

The mansion looked ginormous, and it only got bigger as she stepped inside. A huge staircase that split and went two ways as you opened the door, classrooms to the right and dormitories to the left. It looked almost the same as when Charles had recruited her, sometime around 2012. She gazed around in awe as Peter shut the door, unsure of what to do next.

“As interesting as this has been, I’m curious. Where the hell did you come from? You’re obviously a mutant… are you here looking for Professor? If you are, you couldn’t have come at a better time, considering he’s THE PROFESSOR again..” Peter babbled, mostly to himself, at a speed faster than she could comprehend.

“The Professor? Professor Xavier is here?” Y/N found a bit of hope in that statement. Hopefully, Charles would know what was going on and how she could be here… Charles always knew what to do, even when he didn’t.

“Yeah! I mean, no. Usually, yes. But I guess there was some type of emergency, like there always is, and well, I mean, if you know the professor you know he’s always the first one out there to solve the problem. So right now? It’s just you and me.”

“Was that your convoluted way of telling me Charles is on a mission?” Y/N sighed - young Peter was a lot more… zealous, she’d say, than adult Peter.

“Yeah! Wait - how do you know about missions? Wait - never mind, you’re a mutant. Duh, Peter”, he shook his head, “Are you one of Charles’ students? You look kind of old to still be a student,” Peter tilted his head.

Y/N shook her head, “Uh… yes. You could say I’m… a student of Charles.” It wasn’t a lie - she had been a student of Charles.

“Oh.. cool. Well, you can hang until he gets back. Oh! We should order a pizza!” Peter’s mind quickly got occupied and he turned to search through a drawer filled with take out menus. 

“Peter! Focus! I need your help.” Y/N was too impatient to sit around and wait for Charles, maybe Peter knew something about how and why she was here - she could only hope that the butterfly effect wouldn’t somehow ruin their relationship in the future.

“Whoa, okay. What?” Peter didn’t look up from the drawer, but Y/N knew her next words would change that.

“I’m from the future. I don’t know how and why I’m here, just that I don’t belong here and I have to get back.”

Peter’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. 

“Whoa! The future! Wait, that’s so crazy because a couple years ago some guy came back from the future - he was all mean and grumpy, maybe you guys are from the same place! Wait, what year did you come from?” Peter struggled to focus on one point at a time, as usual.

“2020. I’m from 2020. I - Wait, grumpy? Are you talking about Logan?” Y/N shook her head, “Nevermind that. I just need to figure out how to get back to where I came from.”

“Hmm. Sucks. I don’t know anything about time travel. But hey, tell me about the future!” Peter zoomed beside her, and in the two seconds it took her to turn and face him, he was already cozy on the couch.

Y/N approached the couch as well, wondering if it was really her place to tell him what the future holds - what if she told him about their relationship and then it never happened? She didn’t want to change the course of history.

“Well…” She sheepishly took a seat beside him, “There’s… a lot of big stuff that happens in the future. For one,” she pointed at the small television seated upon a cart at the door of Charles’ office, “there are televisions four times the size of that. And there are more than three channels. And -”

“That’s cool! Hey, are the X-Men still a thing? Oh, and who’s the president? Oh, hey, do you know me in the future?” Peter cut her off with the force of his questions.

This was it. Would Y/N tell him? Would that endanger their future together?

“I… do. Yes, I know you in the future.” She smiled at the way his eyes lit up when she said that. 

“No way! Are we friends?”

Her voice was caught in her throat. She knew Peter - he was a curious guy, this question was to be expected. And yet, she still had no answer for him.

“We -”

“My, my, Miss Y/N.” She was cut off by Charles’ arrival, the wheels of his chair squeaking slightly as he entered the room. “How nice it is to see you again.”

He looked so… different. Y/N had never seen Charles with hair before - only in pictures. 

“Professor,” she stood and shook his hand, “it’s always a pleasure.”

“I believe this,” he pulled her watch out of his pocket, “belongs to you.”

Y/N looked at him with large, wide eyes. He had found her watch! This meant he had to know what she was doing here. Right?

“Whoa,” Peter glanced over the couch, “My dad has a watch, like, exactly like that.”

Charles grinned at Y/N, trying to hold back a laugh at the look of confusion mixed with terror on her face, “As lovely as it is to see you, darling, unfortunately we’ve got much to do today. Peter should be studying for that quiz tomorrow, hm?”

Peter’s eyes widened and before Y/N could even blink, he was gone.

Charles laughed, heading towards the door,” Perhaps, if you don’t mind visiting on another day,” Charles was already escorting her out the door.

“But, Professor -”

“Don’t worry, dear,” Charles opened the door for her, “I’m sure whatever it is,” he winked, “can wait a little bit.” 

And with that, he shut the door.

Y/N gasped, opening her eyes to see the dingy walls of her office. She stood from her desk chair, looking around the familiar room. The ceiling looked like it was about to cave in, the wood beginning to rot. The paint on the walls was peeling, adding to the old, abandoned look of the room. Everything looked like what she remembered - not what she had seen.

“Babe?”

She whipped around to see Peter standing at the door, “Are you coming? I thought you were supposed to be done with class, like, an hour ago - Whoa! Okay!” Peter stumbled back as she ran into his arms.

“What year is it?” Y/N looked up at him - he was the Peter that she had come to know and love. 

He looked at her with a look of concern, “Are you okay? It’s 2020, crazy. Are you sick?” Peter held a hand up to her forehead, which she quickly slapped away.

“I’m fine,” Y/N straightened out her skirt, “I’m sorry. I guess I just… lost track of time. But I’m done, let’s go.”

Peter grinned and took her arm, leading her away from the office, “Wow, nice watch,” he winked, drawing her attention to the beautiful piece of jewelry he’d given her, “Wonder who could have given it to you. So, how was your day?”

“Crazy. Like you wouldn’t believe…”

[punkcupcakestyles]

Love Song

Part 15

Catch Up!

Sofia Welsh-De La Rosa and Timothée Chalamet will star in new Amazon series and, honestly, I won’t talk about anything else ever again

Amazon Prime has just announced the release of its new original series set in 1970’s New York. According to Hollywood Reporter, the new series will be lead by Sofia Welsh - De La Rosa, Timothée Chalamet, and Logan Lerman, and will be produced by Jordan Peele (Get Out and Us) and directed by Christina Hodson (Birds of Prey). The ambitious project is in talks with some other big names in Hollywood, such as Meryl Streep and even Robert de Niro, to join the series.

Honestly, I’m gagging. 

This might come as a surprise as both Sofia, who has been enjoying lots of Oscar’s buzz for the third year in a row, and Timothèe are on the prime of their movie careers, as two of the most prominent young actors in Hollywood, but according to many sources, Sofia has been looking for a way to work with Peele for a long time, while Timothèe is excited to add some action to his resume, after his role in Hostiles and The King. Also, rumor has it, Amazon is willing to pay a hefty (and I mean hefty) amount of money to sign the young stars. 

As for Logan Lerman, this is his the actor’s first TV role since 2005 and is set to be his comeback after his career faded a bit to the background. With the star-studded cast, Amazon is hoping this to be the platform’s next big hit. 

There is no doubt that Sofia, Timothèe, and Logan are three of THE most talented young actors today, with Sofia being the reigning queen of the pack. Recently, the actress has played a pirate, a thief, a devious courtesan and a feminist writer trying to bring down love, and she’s been rumored to have just signed a deal with Disney to play her very own princess, as well as an undisclosed character in MCU’s highly anticipated Black Widow. She truly has the range, Darling!

Sofia was seen having coffee with Timothèe early in the week, before the show’s announcement, which sparked rumors that the actress had ended things with Harry Styles after he had dinner with his ex in London. She was also seen leaving the James Corden Late Late Night’s studio with Logan...

@BobbyC I’m sorry but all of them are gay...

@Peanutbuttah Eh, she can’t act anyway

@Loveisloud @peanutbuttah She can act, she has been in commercial and art-house movies and has received rave reviews every time. You just don’t like her because she’s dating your fave. 

@Arewethereyet she’s an sl*t. So glad Harry’s done with her…

@Soph Are you drunk Buzzfeed? One does not leave Harry Styles for anyone!

****

Harry was cooking. 

The air smelled like garlic and butter and I breathed in deeply, just realizing how fucking hungry I was, as I followed him to the kitchen. It just occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten anything that day, other than a cup of coffee that Harry had made me in the morning. It was a little strong for my taste, I liked mine with sugar, even when my mom kept telling me I was being violently disrespectful to coffee. I didn’t care, not one bit. 

I never really ate on interviews or auditions days, it made my tummy feel funny and I was usually afraid that my clothes wouldn’t fit like they were supposed to after, so, no food for me, thank you. Usually, D would force-feed me as soon as we were done, practically shoving fruits, nuts, and salads down my throat (sometimes even a burger!), but today I was way too anxious and excited to even pay attention to her efforts. I was going on a date with Harry, I couldn’t care less about anything else!!!

And now, I was fucking hungry and it smelled even better in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you cooked,” I smiled, looking at the pasta that was boiling on the stove and the bubbling alfredo sauce. Grilled prawns and a green salad were carefully plated in rustic blue and gold plates.

My eyes traveled to him, and I saw him hesitate for a second before he gifted me with a shy smile. He was so lovely, it was no surprise that my head became fuzzy every time I was around him. Even the most superficial thought struggled to grab a hold to my brain. I wondered if anyone could keep their wits around him, but somehow, I doubted it.

“It takes my mind off of things,” he finally said. “And I kinda wanted to impress you, I guess.” 

The admission made my heart soar in my chest and I beamed at him as he stood in front of me. I admired his beauty for a second, his skin was slightly tanned and it looked almost delicious against the white fabric of his shirt, and his smile was warm, making me feel giddy as he trapped me against the counter with his arms on each side of my body. 

I wanted to kiss him, so so badly, but instead, I let my fingers brush over his neck until they reached the tips of his hair. It tickled and he laughed softly with the most wonderful smile.

“Really?” I asked him softly, cause I didn’t want to break the intimate moment we were sharing. 

“Yeah. A bit silly, innit?”

“No, it’s not silly. But, if you wanted to impress me, then you should’ve made a chocolate lava cake,” I teased. “You would’ve gotten me, then.”

“Chocolate, uh?” The right corner of his lip shot upwards, and an adoring feeling hit me right in the chest like a tidal wave. 

“Yeap.”

“I’ll keep it in mind for next time,” Harry muttered, his words getting lost in the air as he leaned down to kiss me.

I realized that it was all I wanted: To kiss him slowly, maybe even for hours. But I knew I had to stop him. I was under his spell and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing I wanted to do, anyway. But even I could admit that this was just a dream, one that I wanted to remember every second of. So when he was gone, I would still have those memories. 

So before his lips could brush mine, before he could melt my brain with his kisses, I pressed my forehead to his and dropped my hands to his chest, right where his heart was beating rapidly. 

“Sorry,” I said shyly, casting my eyes down so I wouldn’t have to look at him, not a few more seconds, not until I had gathered the will to stand strong by my decision. 

“Is there something wrong?” His voice was full of sincere concern, a little bit rougher as well, which made his accent more noticeable. 

“No,” I shook my head, finally looking into his green eyes. “Everything’s perfect.”

“You just don’t want me to kiss you?”

“It’s just...I want to remember every bit of tonight,” I said, as I tried to ease the utter embarrassment that was crawling over my chest. Who said stuff like that? Writers in cheesy movies or bad teen shows. Fuck. 

“Except for my kisses?” He insisted, almost like a little boy fishing for reassurance. I brought my fingers to his cheek and grazed them it until he smiled at me. 

The answer was “fuck, no”. His kisses were a memory I wanted to carry with me forever. But I also wanted to have that night, so I could carry it with me, and compare it to every other date, every other person that would come my way. 

“I want to remember the little details,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “The dinner you made, which is really close to burning, the grandpa pants…”

“Hey! These look cool! And the sauce, I have it under control!”

“If you say so,” I sneered mischievously, twisting my lips into a mocking smile as he pretended to be offended. “And I want to remember everything you did to make me feel special”

Harry’s arms looped around my waist as he pulled me to his chest and I hugged him back and looked at him, battling the need to just lean in and kiss him. His lips were so pink. 

We both sucked at the whole “no kissing allowed” thing, and somehow that made me feel a lot better. For once, I wasn’t the needy, dreamy one. 

“What do you think?” I asked in a whisper, smiling against the brush of his lips as he bumped our noses together.

“I want to kiss you, Sof, all fucking night long,” he pouted. “Been thinking ‘bout it all day.”

“I’ll make it up to you. Just...lemme have this, yeah?”

“Why?”

“Cause…” I laughed embarrassedly. “I already have your kisses in a little folder in my brain. Now I wanna have this.”

“Is it just me in that folder?” Harry asked, suddenly interested in some other thing that frowning. Curiosity and amusement were burning in his stare and I rolled my eyes at him, almost scoffing at the fact that was the only thing that had managed to catch his attention. 

“Mostly you…” I conceded, even though the petty part of me was all for rolling out with a long list of names before I got to his name. “And Sebastian Stan…” I said, not being able to resist it. 

“Bucky Barnes?” His eyebrows twisted in confusion and he looked at me as I licked my lips, considering just how weird I wanted my answer to be.  

“And the cartoon, too...” I replied, a little bit too casually for it to go unnoticed, but Harry didn’t seem to notice, cause as he was nodding thoughtfully, his hands traveled to my neck again, making me look at him as he dipped his head down to reach the curve of my neck. 

“That’s a bit greedy, baby,” He whispered against my skin, pressing soft kisses down to my pulse point. I wasn’t sure if that was technically a kiss, and I didn’t care, it felt so good. “Someone else?” He was cheating, and we both knew it. I could feel his smile growing bigger, and I sighed as he grazed his teeth over the curve of my neck and let his tongue soothe my skin. “Babe?” He insisted, just to tease me. It was hard to think, and he knew it, but I wasn’t going to admit it just yet. 

“Uh.” I licked my lips and struggled for a second, as I struggled to remember what was it that I was going to say. “Chris Evans, “ I began. “and uh, Michael B. Jordan. Mmm… and Logan Lerman.”

“Isn’t that the guy you’re gonna work with?” He asked, stopping suddenly to look at me. I fluttered my eyes open and smiled when they could finally focus on him. 

“Yeah, him and Timothée Chalamet.”

“Mmmm...I don’t know if I want to share my folder with them,” Harry pouted, which made me laugh. I realized it was no laughing matter, but still, a warm, almost giddy, laughter kept bubbling out of my tummy. 

“Why? Does it make you jealous, H?” I teased.

“Should I be?”

“Mmmm...I don’t know. I honestly think I would let Logan fuck me...those eyes, man.”

“So funny, S…” Harry rolled his eyes. He was not as amused as I had expected him to be. 

“You shouldn’t be,” I said softly, looking him in the eyes, serious and sincere.  

“You sure?” He asked and I was sure he wasn’t talking about Logan Lerman anymore. 

“I’m sure, baby.” I wasn’t even lying. “So, who’s in yours?” I asked, cause maybe that’d take attention away from myself. I didn’t think things through though, cause he had a whole bunch of options for his answer. Who could it be? One of his supermodel exes? His singer ex? This wasn’t a fun game at all. 

“You.”

“Oh, so THAT’S how you answer that kind of question!!” I exclaimed, which made him laugh, and, as he did so, his dimples showed on his face, making him look a little boyish. He was fucking pretty, Jesus. 

“I’m not even trying to be a good boyfriend here,” Harry chuckled, and I relished on the way the word `boyfriend” sounded out of his lips. So pretty, so fucking pretty. “My folder is called “When Sof’s not around”, and I think we need to fill it up, so I don’t run out of thoughts.”

“Oh, we don’t want that,” I scrunched up my nose and shook my head at him as a smile played on my lips. I was so fucking happy and I couldn’t even figure out why. 

“No, we don’t.” The tip of his tongue lapped across his pink lips, and I followed it with my eyes, taking a second or two before I peered up to him again. “I was hoping we could kiss all night,” he said softly. “and maybe I could eat you out by the pool.”

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit…”

“You wouldn’t need one, baby,” Harry laughed, a mix of mischief and endearment lacing with it. I couldn’t stop staring at him, and my knees wobbled a bit as he leaned down, bumping our noses together one more time, as the soft brush of his lips against my skin made me shiver. 

“Don’t cheat,” I whispered and his soft laugh echoed down in every inch of my body. His lips grazed over my forehead, as he pressed a soft kiss to my skin. 

“Ok, baby. We’ll do it your way.”

“Thank you.”

“I think it’s silly, y’know?” He started, pushing me back so he could look at me with his bright green eyes. “We’re just starting, Sof.”

****

I wanted to kiss him. 

I looked at him, licking a spoonful of dessert with my head propped on my hand as I listened to him talk, but all I could think of was how much I wanted to lick the trace of chocolate out of his lips. 

“Is there something wrong, S?” I noticed there wasn’t much concern in his voice, not like there usually was when he asked me if I was ok. This time, there was a hint of mockery, almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking and that all I wanted to do was to sit on his lap and press soft kisses from his jaw to his lips. 

Fuck.

“No,” I smiled sweetly, cause I wasn’t one to go down without a fight, and I took his hand in mine and pressed it to my lips before I looked at him again. 

“Were you distracted?” His smile was turning more devilish as the seconds went by and I felt myself get warm as he leaned closer, his hands dropping to my thigh and pressing softly to it.

He wasn’t gonna win. I was not going to let him. 

“Nope,” I said, letting the ‘p’ pop between my lips. “Tell me about your album, I promise I’ll be a grown-up about it.” 

“Nice save…” Harry chuckled. “I think you’re gonna like it.”

“I have recently discovered that I’m a very jealous person. I don’t think I’ll like it, but I’ll be happy for you.”

“You shouldn’t be jealous.” A smile tugged on his lips and I felt warm, so warm inside, I couldn’t help but smile as well. “And I think you’re like it, especially since I made a few last-minute changes, against Jeff’s will.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he kept saying I had the guts, the audacity to change the album when we’re about to drop the first single.”

“What changes?” I insisted, because Jeff’s feelings were the least of my concern at the moment. 

I wished I could have played it cool. Maybe that would’ve made me look more interesting, aloof, unapproachable, and all those things a girl should be in front of her crush. But my heart was racing and the world was turning chaotic as my head ticked, like a tiny little bomb. 

I needed to know. 

Tick, tick. 

“You’re already sure you’re not gonna like it,” Harry smirked, surely unaware of the mess inside my head. “You might as well wait for it.”

No!!! TIck tick. 

“Oh, please, please, pretty please?? What’s the advantage of this if I can’t get a tiny sneak peek?”

“Well, for instance, you get me to cook for you…”

“It was delicious, thank you.”

“And you get me to eat you out at night when you’re not being stubborn and imposing kiss-bans.”

“I like that very much, too,” I giggled, looking at his green eyes as he got just a bit closer, just an inch away from me. 

“So it’s not such a bad deal, is it?”

“I guess not.”

“Good.” His bottom lip rolled into his lips and he bit it thoughtfully for a couple of seconds as his eyes kept burning little holes into my soul. That’s how it felt. “Let’s watch a movie, baby. Are there any bans on cuddling?”

“No, not yet.”

His fingers squeezed mine and he got up swiftly from the table, smiling brightly as we covered the few steps to a different room near the pool, where a giant screen awaited for us. There were a bunch of individuals blue chair, blue and velvety, and a larger one, that was meant to comfortably fit two. The room was dark, only lit by the lights coming from the screen, and I followed him blindly until we were sitting side by side. Slowly, we found each other, and as Harry sat against the armchair, I settled between his legs, cuddling up to his chest while his large hand rested on the curve of my waist. 

He smelled like a lazy Sunday morning when the rain is lightly tapping on your windows and all you can hear are the chirping birds when still early, so the world hasn’t woken up just yet and you get to focus on that feeling, on the promise of what’s coming. 

He also smelled like pasta and chocolate, and I didn’t mind that at all. 

He felt soft, comforting, and sweet, but above all, he felt safe. I was safe with him. 

And, I struggled for a bit, trying to understand what came next, what was the warmth and giddiness that settled in my tummy every time I looked at him. 

“You ok, baby?” Harry asked and I nodded absentmindedly, not ready to let my thoughts go just yet. What was it? “Wanna watch Set It Up?”

“Yeah, whatever you want. your choice.”

“Are you sure you’re ok? You don’t say that often.”

“Oh, shhh, Harry I always do whatever you want.”

“We definitely have different definitions of ‘Whatever Harry wants’” He mused and I propped myself up to look at him, almost suspiciously, almost angry.

“Do we? What do you want?” I asked. 

“To kiss you. And for you to stay the night.”

“I have a bed, y’know?” I quirked my eyebrow, looking at him as I had already won the argument. 

“Yeah, unfortunately…”

“And we promised we would behave tonight.”

“You can stay in a different room,” he offered. “Or I will.”

“What’s the point then?”

“You won’t have to miss me in the morning…” he shrugged. I laughed out loud, despite my best efforts to look offended. “And I won’t have to miss you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Love. 

He looked a lot like love. 

And love looked a lot like him. 

***

Harry Styles and Sofia Welsh were out grabbing Fro-yo and I’ll never be as cool as either of them

Yes, I know what you’re gonna say: Are they paying you to write this sh*t? And the answer is yes! someone’s paying me to write this sh*t! Alas, neither Harry nor Sofia is. I wish. 

The usually private couple, and bear in mind I am using the word couple loosely here as they haven’t confirmed to be dating, gave the world a glimpse of their relationship as they stepped out in Los Angeles to grab ice-creams and bubble teas, along with friends.

Ever since the rumors of their relationship spread around, the couple has been mostly keeping a low profile - which is not very surprising as Harry Styles is not very open about his personal life since he was a member of One Direction and a large part of his fans believed him to be romantically involved with one of his bandmates (that was a mouthful! And also very true, there has been a lot of conspiracy theories about it)

Sofia, who’s in the middle of an Oscar campaign (and has been showing us just how much designers adore her), sported a pair of leggings, a crop top, and a large blazer, a perfect outfit for the ever-changing LA weather, and looked happy and relaxed as she waited for Harry to get their orders. Both stars took photos with fans and left together in Styles’ classic car…

****

We were made out of good intentions. 

We slept together that night and every night after that for an entire week. We didn’t do much, we kissed and cuddled, and spent our mornings lazily together until one of us had to go out to the real world. We even went out and we kept stealing looks and smiles at each other, like two little kids that were too shy in front of their crushes. 

Photos were taken. Articles were published. Midge was elated. 

Harry’s new single was coming out that night, and there was going to be a party to celebrate it. If it was a hit, they were going to celebrate their success and all the hard work that went into it. It was a flop, and it was not going to flop, they were going to drink for better times ahead. 

“Fuck!!!” 

I stared at the ceiling, willing my body to move and failing miserably at it as every little muscle in my body contracted painfully. My arms hurt, and my legs felt like they were on fire. 

I just needed 5 more minutes before I got up and got ready to leave. 

It was day 4 of “my new life” as my trainer liked to call it, and after another lunch of grilled chicken and steamed broccoli, I was ready to quit. I had trained and dieted before for different roles, but this time, I had a feeling she wanted to suck the life out of me. It even made me reconsider if I needed to be in a Marvel Movie. Would Midge kill me if I quit?

“Sof…” The male voice scared me just a little, as I thought I was alone in my house. I turn around just slightly, as much as my tired poor body could handle and smiled as I saw Sam standing by my door. “Can I come in?”

He was holding a tray, with something that looked like a sandwich, coffee, and a glass of water, along with a white bottle of medicine. I nodded, grunting even at the soft movement, and he walked quickly to my bed, setting the tray down before me as he stood awkwardly. 

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I struggled to ask while I propped myself up and sat criss-cross on my bed. I sounded angry, and maybe I was, why would he bring me a sandwich? It was all I wanted to eat and all I couldn’t eat at the same time. 

“I’m off work today, and I wanted to check on you. Cat told me you’ve been feeling under the weather. I called your mom and she told me you should “just eat a sandwich and take an aspirin”, so here they are,” he said, offering me a childish smile as he pointed the tray with a little too much joy. 

“I can’t eat a sandwich,” I sulked. “And I need to get ready, I have to go to Harry’s.”

“You can eat a sandwich. And he can wait 5 minutes, you’re always there.”

I realized we hadn’t talked about the kiss, not really. I avoided being alone with him, and whenever the occasion presented itself, Sam would go out of the room, giving me space and maybe waiting for me to be the first one to reach out. I had never done that. Honestly, I didn’t think I would.

“You’re right, Sammy,” I said, picking the sandwich in my hands and noticing that he had already cut the crust off. “Thank you.”

It was weird between us, tense and quiet, and I didn’t like it. I bit into the bread looking at an empty spot on the wall as I waited for him to say something. Anything, I would take it. But Sam remained silent, pressing his palms on his thighs as he went to get up. 

“Sam,” I called for him and I smiled shyly when he finally turned around. He took his time, though, and for a moment there, I was scared he was going to leave. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not what you want to hear when someone you like kisses you.”

“I shouldn’t have…”

“Did you want to?”

“Yes,” I breathed and I realized I wasn't lying. I did want to kiss him, there was no use in denying that. 

I put the sandwich down on the plate and moved closer to Sam until I could see the golden freckles that were hidden in his light brown eyes.

“Do you remember that night when you came through my window and stayed the night with me?”

“Yeah, I heard your dad scream, and I wanted to be there in case…”

“I know, Sam. I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since then,” I admitted and he kept staring at me as if he was considering what his next move would be. Would he kiss me? Did I want him to kiss me?

“You’re not being fair to me, Sof.”

“I know. You haven’t been fair to me either, but here we are.”

There was a moment of panic, cause for a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. He leaned over me and I held my breath as I looked at him, not able to stop him just yet. But as his lips brushed over my forehead, I closed my eyes, smiling as he pulled away from me. 

“Eat the fucking sandwich, Sof,” he replied and it wasn’t enough. I took his hand before he could leave and I licked my lips, peering up to him with something more than just fear pressing up to my chest. 

“Are we good?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess we’ll talk about it again when he gets back with his ex.”

That was a low blow, and we both knew it, but I just stayed quiet as he left the room, wondering if I deserved it. 

****

It took me a while to get ready, so I was late for Harry’s party. I went straight to the pool, where a large screen had been set up and the new video seemed to be on a loop. I couldn’t find Harry anywhere, but at the same, he was all I could see. I stared at the screen, looking at his golden skin as he was surrounded by the adoring crowd, at the way they kept touching and the expression on his face as he leaned into them. The song didn’t even matter, cause all I could focus on was his stupidly beautiful green eyes. 

I mean, I had watched his videos before. I had seen him fly through the sky and be surrounded by kids, but this was different. Those were entertaining and beautiful, and I felt the emotion in my tummy simply because it was him, and somehow, just seeing him made me happy. But in this one he meant to capture your attention and a little bit of your soul. He wanted to be desired and to be free along the way. And it was such a fucking sexy video.  

I lost count of how many times I allowed myself to watch the video, but it was probably too many times. After a while, I decided it was time to look for the real Harry, who was still nowhere to be seen, so I left the pool, smiling and greeting everyone as I passed by. 

I hoped he was alone, cause I wanted to fucking kiss him like no one else was looking. I wanted to tell him how lovely, talented, and amazing he was. I was going to kiss him a lot and praise him, it couldn’t get better than that. 

I looked for him in the living room, where a small crowd was throwing back cocktails and beers and went out to the front door, where people were lounging about, a bit drunkenly. But he wasn’t anywhere, and I was starting to feel uneasy. 

It took me more than a few minutes to make my way to his room because people kept getting in my way. I did my best to smile and engage in silly conversations about nothing, but my heart was growing heavy and my brain was too anxious to even remember if I had succeeded. 

I heard him talk even before I stood by his door. I couldn’t quite tell what he was saying or who he was talking to, but I noticed that his words were a little bit slurred, and his accent dripped thick in his low voice. The door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open and stood by the frame as I saw him talking on the phone. He had his back to me, so he didn’t notice that I had arrived, not that it mattered. 

“C, you’re drunk,” I heard him say and I wished he had just said a different name. “No...I know I told you it was just a PR relationship...Cause I need time to figure out...Really, C? Wanna know if I still love you? You’re not being fair...” The last part came out as a dry laugh, and I knew I had to leave, it was rude and inappropriate, but, most importantly, it was breaking my fucking heart. But my feet seemed like they were made out of cement, and my legs had chosen that moment to numb out of pain. So, I was still standing there when he turned around, and probably saw the tears that were threatening to spill down my eyes. 

I wanted to know the answer too. Could I know it? It’d save us a lot of pain. 

“Bye, C.”

He dropped his phone to the bed and I looked at him as he walked quickly to me. He looked flustered and worried, but it all seemed so distant, that it didn’t matter. 

“Baby,” Harry said, but that wasn’t my name. Did her call her baby too? He probably did, he was a ‘baby’ kind of guy. “Are you ok?”

“Yes, I was looking for you cause I wanted to check if you wanted me to post something on Instagram,” I lied. “D already drafted a tweet, it’s really simple.”

“Sof, how much did you hear?”

“Nothing. I’m gonna get a couple of photos and uh, I’m gonna go home, I think I need a rest day.”

His hand went to grab mine, but before he could do it, I turned and walked away rushing down the stairs until I could get lost in the crowd. 

Fair? None of us was being fair. 

[deansmom]

this is a draft from some time in s12 with background established deancas, tattooed!dean and mary getting to know dean. (ao3)

The first time Mary patches Dean up after a hunt, he tries not to squirm. 

He’s sitting on the motel bed in Cas’ running shorts and nothing else because he’s got a huge gash across his chest and twenty minutes ago he had a knife sticking out of his shin. Vonnegut is staring up at him from his thigh. 

Dean’s had worse. Hell, he’s stitched up worse on his own - but this time his mom was there.

Mary comes out of the bathroom and freezes in the doorway, blinking at him.

He offers her and awkward wave and winces at the movement.

It seems to snap Mary out of it because she shakes her head a little and walks over, “Sorry, I just...” 

She makes a noise that Dean thinks is supposed to be a laugh.

“I didn’t know you had tattoos.”

Dean smiles a little bit to himself, amused, “You’ve seen the protection sigil.”

Mary rolls her eyes and sets the first aid kit on the bed next to him, “Yeah, I’ve seen the protection sigil but I didn’t know that you had Vonnegut on your thigh.”

Something in Dean’s chest clenches and melts all at once and the sudden rush of emotion knocks all the wind out of him.

He licks his lips and has to clear his throat to get any words to come out. His voice cracks, “You like Vonnegut?”

Mary laughs quietly as she pours the vodka from the trunk over the stab wound. Dean sucks in a breath and grips the mattress, biting his tongue to keep from yelping. 

“He was one of my favorite authors,” she explains, dabbing the wound with some gauze. “Slaughterhouse-Five is one of the only books I read after graduating.”

Dean hisses, not sure what to say.

Mary finishes cleaning the wound up and out and sits back against the other bed while she gets the bandage, gauze and tape together. 

“It’s... beautiful.” 

Dean looks up, surprised and a little embarrassed. It’s nothing special. It’s old and faded now and it needs to be touched up soon. Some random kid the year he dropped out of high school threw a party and his older brother had a tattoo gun. Dean gave the kid his last twenty bucks and got a pretty solid, but still shit tattoo at sixteen.

John wanted to kill him.

He tells Mary as much as he leans back on the bed, “He didn’t see it until we were on a hunt when I was eighteen. I thought he was gonna hand me over to the vampires we were hunting.”

She doesn’t say much, just lets Dean talk and tell her about how angry John was and all the awful stuff he said to their son.

Mary can see some other tattoos peeking out from under Dean’s shorts and on his lower calf. They’re all older and faded, and she feels like she’s stumbled onto something she’s not supposed to see. 

She finishes bandaging up his shin and pats the other knee gently, “Ok kiddo, you ready for me to clean up your chest?”

It takes her a moment to get off the floor, using Dean’s good knee as a brace to do so. He offers her a hand but she just waves him off, “I’m fine, you’re the one who looks like shit.”

Dean laughs, a genuine laugh, before moving to lay fully on the bed.

“Gee, thanks mom. That makes me feel better.”

Mary pokes his armpit as she sits next to him, reorganizing the first aid kit. She catches a glimpse of another tattoo near Dean’s armpit and spends half a second too long staring at it.

Dean shifts a little bit on the bed, “You’re gonna give a guy a complex.”

She shakes her head, laughing at herself, “Sorry, sorry, I just -”

Mary looks at him again, trying to broadcast acceptance with her expressions and body language. 

“I’ve been around you for a while now Dean and I had no idea you had tattoos.”

She smiles tiredly and looks away quickly, grabbing the vodka again. 

“Just seems like something a mom should know.”

The room goes quiet again while Mary works on cleaning Dean up. The tick tick ticking of the old clock in the kitchen fills the silence of the motel room.

In the room next to them the TV is blasting some infomercial. There’s a car in the parking lot that has their bass turned all the way up and if Dean closes his eyes, he can almost feel the bass.

Dean opens his mouth to say something, anything, and Cas opens up the motel door with dinner in hand. 

He lets out a breath and smiles, some of the tension in the room and most of the tension in Dean’s body dissipates.

“Burgers? You’re awesome.”

  Once the case is done and they make it back to the bunker, Dean finds Mary in the library. She’s flipping through one of the big tombs. 

Sometimes Dean thinks it’s funny just how much of his mom he sees in Sam. If Mary had brown hair and was freakishly tall, they’d look identical in this moment.

The air switches on and the clank of the old metal startles Mary, making her look up at Dean. “Oh, hey.”

Dean offers her a small smile, “Hey.”

He’s nervous. He hasn't’ been able to stop thinking about what Mary said in the hotel room - things that a mom should know about her son. 

It’s not a big deal, it really isn’t, but... it is. His tattoos are all small and objectively bad, but they’re little pieces of who he is. They represent all the different parts and important people of Dean’s life and they’re... personal. 

“I, um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck. “I have a couple tattoos.”

If Mary’s surprised, she doesn’t show it. “Oh,” she says. “Ok.”

“The Vonnegut one, you saw...” Dean clears his throat and shifts on his feet, “And uh, I have dad’s dog tags - that’s what was by my armpit.”

He raises his arm just enough so that Mary can see the edge poking out of his sleeve. She lets out a small breath and gets out of the chair like she wants to walk over to Dean.

He interrupts her before she can say or do anything else, “And, uh, I have the opening chord progression from Hey Jude on the other thigh. Cause...” Dean shrugs kinda helplessly, “Y’know.”

Mary looks like she wants to cry.

Dean coughs, clearing his throat, “And, uh, Sam’s birth and death days on this side of my ribs.” He pauses for a beat, something occurring to him, “I should probably update that one.”

That startles a laugh out of Mary, “Yeah, probably.”

He hesitates for a moment, suddenly nervous to tell her what the other two are.

They’ve made a conscious decision to never hide their relationship, but they don’t go around parading it either. And for one terrifying moment, Dean wonders if his mom knows that he’s in love with his best friend who’s also an angel. 

“Um,” Dean clears his throat, his voice going deeper all of a sudden. “And uh - this one.”

He pulls his jeans down just about an inch on his left hip to reveal a line of enochian in white ink. It’s the newest one Dean has even though it’s already a couple years old. It’s beautiful small, fragile line work with some red outlining to make certain letters pop. 

Mary steps closer, about to lean down to look at it before realizing what she’s doing.

Dean laughs nervously and shrugs, “It’s fine.”

She smiles and gets close enough to just look at it, but not touch, “It’s beautiful.”

The compliment makes Dean’s heart swell a little bit, “Thanks. It’s my favorite one.”

Mary stands up fully, meeting his eyes with a kind smile, “What’s it say?”

The frankness of the question catches Dean off guard for a moment, but it shouldn’t. It also steals the wind out of him for a moment, because, well -

“It, uh,” Dean clears his throat, tucking his shirt back in. “It says beloved.”

Before Mary can say anything, Dean clears his throat again, trying to make himself sound normal and not like he’s freaking out. “And, uh, the last one is just... a C.”

It’s another white ink tattoo and it’s fading, always fading, but Dean loves it. It’s on the webbing of his ring finger.

The library is quiet for a moment, the only sound filling the room is Cas and Sam in the kitchen. The air kicks off, making Dean jump this time with the old metal settling.

“So,” Dean rubs the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at his mom. “Yeah. I just - I... y’know.”

Wanted you to know, he wants to say. Thought you might care, he thinks. 

Mary smiles and sets a hand on Dean’s forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Dean looks up again, meeting her eyes and smiles nervously, “S’no big deal.”

She opens her mouth to say something else, but is interrupted.

“Dean!” Castiel pokes his head in the doorway, smiling at them, “Hello, Mary. Dinner is ready if you’re hungry.”

Mary can’t help but notice the way all the tension leaves Dean’s body again, but she doesn’t dare say anything about it.

It’s not her place. It’s no more her place than if they were two strangers at a gas station.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean offers, a small private smile on his face. “We’ll be in there in a minute.”

Castiel nods and leaves without preamble.

Mary still doesn’t know what to make of him.

Dean clears his throat, the deeply awkward feeling settling in around them, “I, uh… I know that you’re, y’know.”

He cringes before he can stop himself, “Not entirely comfortable. But I just…” Dean harrumphs, his arms coming up to wrap around himself, “I don’t know. You’re… my mom.”

Even if he’s not her Dean, which he understands, he still wants her to know him.

And he thinks she wants that too. To know them as men, as people… to just be a friend.

Mary just squeezes his elbow gently, too scared to say something that will fuck up the moment.

Dean gets it.

“Come on.” He offers her a smile, his head inclined towards the kitchen, “Let’s get some food.”

[mikkomacko]

In The Shadows 4

The bacon on the stove cackles lowly, spitting out a spark of hot grease and y/n is grateful that she's not standing in front of the pan. She hums, flipping her hash browns as the creak of the front door opening and closing flows through downstairs. The sound of a duffel bag dropping, and light shoes on the floor makes her smile. She moves over to flip the bacon, lowering the flame under the pan.

"They upstairs?"

Y/n turns, rolling her lips into her mouth to keep from smiling too much. Harry's on the other side of the counter, tiny hair clip holding his rouge curls back, and he's dressed like he just came from practice. She nods, stomach fluttering when his dimples sink into his rosy cheeks.

"Sleeping or getting ready?"

It takes her a moment to peel her focus off of him enough to answer. "Jess is in the shower, Jo went for a run, and Tia should still be sleeping."

Harry's smile deepens, and he quickly maneuvers around the counter, crowding her back into the corner and cupping her face. His lips are like a cool shower after a hot day, or coffee early in the morning, or the sun rising after a night of rain.

The bacon pops again, and Harry jumps away from her. "Fuckin'-" he furiously rubs his arm where a red splotch has grown, pouting like a baby at the mark.

Y/n giggles, flipping the meat again. "You okay?" She asks, moving the finished hash browns to a serving plate and working on scrambling eggs.

"I guess so," Harry mutters, leaning his hip against the counter top. He crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at the pan of bacon. "fucking cock blocking bacon."

She giggles again, leaning over to peck his cheek just because she can. After all this time she can finally kiss him. Well, as long as Jess isn't around. But it's worth it, it's so worth it, and judging by the smug grin on Harry's lips, he believes it too.

The sound of that bedroom door opening upstairs pops the bubble around them, sending Harry two steps further from the stove and y/n staring intently at her eggs. Not wanting to seem awkward or different in front of whoever's coming downstairs, y/n strikes up conversation. "How was practice?"

Harry groans, throwing his head back and pouting. Y/n has to try really hard to not smile like a puppy being handed a bone. "Exhausting. Don't have a game this week so we're conditioning."

"I'm assuming it's a lot of running?"

"You've no idea." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, "Made me glad I didn't eat breakfast this morning or it would've been-"

"Why are you here so early and why are taking about gross things?"

Her shoulders deflate at the sound of Jess's voice, disappointed that she's not really gonna be able to speak to him much now. Jess always has to be the one talking.

"Didn't even say anything gross!" Harry defends, eyebrows scrunching.

"You would've if I hadn't stopped you!"

Y/n continues cooking, the siblings arguing fading into background noise as she sneaks gazes at Harry. It's odd to look at him now and know he's more than Jess' brother, more than a friend. He's her boyfriend. Her very hot, yet adorable, captain of the soccer team boyfriend. Her stomach flutters. Harry's turned her into a mushy fangirl fonding over her favorite heartthrob. She supposes he's always been her favorite heartthrob though, so she shouldn't be too surprised.

"Stop bitching at me and go suck Tina's dick or something."

The snip in Harry's voice snaps y/n out of her thoughts, eyes widening as Jess gasps. She turns to her best friend, wincing when she sees her angry squint. If this were a cartoon, her head would be red and smoke would pour out of her ears.

"Stop annoying my friend and go tap another keg!"

Harry snorts, rolling his eyes. "Good comeback, m'such a stupid frat lad aren't I?"

Jess slams her hands on the counter, screaming in frustration before taking off out of the room, stomping all the way upstairs. The kitchen is now uncomfortably silent, a disembodied ring filling the air alongside Harry's obvious annoyance. He slumps back against the counter, head falling forward as he huffs to himself.

It's not the first fight she's ever seen between the two siblings, not even close, but it is the first fight in which Harry's hers and Jess only wants her when it's convenient. Like for arguments, or help studying, or someone to make her breakfast. With that thought up front in her mind, she tip toes to Harry, hands behind her back nervously. Usually when him and Jess fight, she's giving him a sympathetic smile and following after the younger of the two.

She gently butts her forehead into his shoulder, muttering, "Hi." She's not sure what else to say.

Harry peeks at her out of the corner of his eye, only pausing for a brief second before his teeth are releasing his bottom lip and he's grinning. "Hey,"

"Do you want toast?"

Chuckling lowly, so manly in his chest yet so cute on his mouth, Harry drops his arms and wiggles her into his chest and caging her in with hands steady on her back. "I'd love some toast."

"Yeah?"

He pecks her nose and her stomach swoops. "Yeah."

"Only if you shower right after breakfast."

Harry's mouth parts in offence, eyebrows pinching together. "Are you saying I'm stinky?"

"Not explicitly." Y/n giggles quietly, fingers tightening on his shirt where they rest on his abdomen.

"She's not gonna let me use her shower peanut." Harry shrugs, as if there's no other way for him to possibly clean himself in a house with four showers and a spout out front. Not that she'd spray him down with a hose, but still.

"You can use mine. S'probably cleaner than hers anyway." Both her and Harry giggle at that. Jess and Harry are known for being quite messy, and y/n is known for being the one following behind to clean up the mess.

"Thank you."

"Of course," she lets her lips ghost over his in a teasing kiss. "now let me finish breakfast before you start fermenting."

~

"What happened when we all got home? Did you stay at the house?"

The courtyard is empty, everyone most likely back in their rooms getting ready for the football game tonight. Which is convenient for Y/n and Zoe because they haven't seen each other since Saturday and they need a safe, low-key place to talk about what happened with Harry. Zoe told her that her and a couple of the girls saw them kiss, but most of the crowd was clearing out already and probably missed it so they were safe there. As for the team, Harry's already asked them to not say anything, wanting to keep their relationship quiet for now.

"He just walked me home. I didn't even think about staying with him if I'm being honest."

Zoe rolls her eyes at y/n, giggling, "you can stay with him without being hunted down by the church ya know?"

Blushing, y/n wraps her arms around her chest and elbows her friend. "I know that! It just didn't come up, like he didn't invite me and I'm not going to invite myself."

A whistle blows from the direction of the soccer field, hopefully coach calling the end of practice. Usually she's goes home right after class, but Zoe texted her and asked if they wanted to hang out before the game. Apparently part of "hanging out" is waiting for Niall and Harry to get out of practice, not that she minds. She loves hanging out with Zoe, and she loves the warmth that bubbles in her veins when she thinks of Harry now.

"I mean, that'll probably be the spot for you two now, right? It's not like you can be all relationship-y at your house with his sister around." Zoe makes a face at the mention of Jess, greatly disliking the girl after seeing how careless she is with her friends. She's probably heard some stories from Harry as well.

Y/n shrugs. She hasn't thought about it much, too excited by the fact that Harry actually likes her the way she likes him. They both decided to not tell anyone who could potentially let Jess know, wanting to see how they work as a couple before causing a disaster with Jess. It sucks to think that she can't share this part of her life with her best friend. This is her first boyfriend, her first college relationship, and she should be giggling and complaining about him to Jess like normal friends. But Jess has made it very clear how she'd feel about Harry dating any of her friends, let alone y/n. A part of her is flattered that Jess is so selfish over her, but deep down she knows it's not that way. If Jess loved her so much, why is she always dropped for Tina?

"No one at the house would do anything to fuck this up for you, ya know?" Zoe bumps their shoulders together, offering her a reassuring smile. "The boys all love Harry so much, and the fact that you're like the first girl he's ever been interested in is a huge deal. They wouldn't chase you away or spread rumors. You're safe there."

Y/n leans closer to her friend, conveying her gratefulness for Zoe through the simple action. "All the guys there are nice, it's just weird still. Like I've never actually dated someone so to have my first relationship around that many people is kinda scary."

A soft chatter comes from the soccer field, and then a couple players are passing them to head towards the dorms. Y/n notices them wincing as they walk and frowns, knowing Harry's going to be just as sore from conditioning too. "Maybe it's a good thing, ya know? Going out of your comfort zone a bit. Could make your relationship even stronger in the long run."

Silence takes over, Zoe turning towards the field at the sound of more footsteps undoubtedly hoping it's Niall and Harry, while y/n tries not to well up with tears. She's going to have thank Harry for introducing her to a real friend. A friend that doesn't only talk about their problems, or try to control her.

Zoe pulls y/n up from the bench, tugging her towards the incoming group of soccer boys, and she notices Harry and Niall trailing behind them. They pass the group, that's all walking with similar limps, and Zoe launches herself at Niall as if they'd been apart for decades. Niall winces, stumbling on his tired legs but squeezes his girlfriend back.

"Why hello peanut," Harry greets, flushed cheeks sinking into two dimples, "what are you doing out here? Surrounded by all these boys?"

She blushes -for reasons unknown to her-and gently steps into his chest. "Waiting for you to walk me home, of course."

Harry slinks his arms around her, pressing a quick and chaste kiss to her mouth. Her blush deepens. "Yeah? Need your knight in shining armor to keep you safe from the harassment of smelly soccer bastards?"

"You do know that you're the 'smelly soccer bastard' that has been harassing me, right?"

Niall and Zoe both snicker making her grin proudly. Harry's smirk never falters, if anything it widens, and he gently butts his forehead against hers.

"Don't you forget it."

~

Eleanor sputters out water as Asteria finishes her story of the time Zayn let her pierce his ear, and Zoe and y/n burst into stronger giggles. Eleanor frantically grabs for a paper towel, face going red as she dabs at the drink spilt down her chin.

"Did Harry bring his stupid fr-oh."

Jess pauses in the entryway of the kitchen, lips pursing as she takes in the four girls sat around the island sharing a bag of Doritos. After meeting up with the boys, y/n and Zoe decided to get ready for the football game together at her place, inviting Asteria and Eleanor along too. They've all been invited to the party after, courtesy of their boyfriends-the word still makes y/n squeal-and figured they'd might as well hang out for a bit while the boys get washed up from practice.

"Harry's not here." Y/n says awkwardly, nervous under Jess' observing glare. Luckily, the other three girls aren't intimidated, heads high as they glare back.

"Okay," Jess looks at y/n, hands on her hips. "are you going to the game?"

She nods, noticing that Jess is dressed more for a day of shopping rather than a football game. She's wearing pristine white jeans with heels, a lacy top tucked into her bottoms, and her hair perfectly straight. "A-are you?"

"Yes, but I'm sitting with the girls so you should probably sit with them." Jess waves her hands at the girls behind y/n.

"She was planning on it honey." Asteria scoffs, making Eleanor and Zoe both giggle. Y/n is able to hold in her laugh, but she still smiles. Real friends. They're nice.

"Then I guess I'll see you tonight." Jess huffs, turning on her heel and clacking all the way to the front door. They wait for the sound of it closing to bust into giggles again. Zoe hunches over, clutching her stomach as she laughs and she knocks her knee into the counter. Her high pitched yelp makes them all laugh more, and y/n realizes this is the first time she's ever had one of those laughs with friends where you're really laughing just because they are. They're so distracted by giggles that they don't hear the front door open, nor the sound of four boys moving into the kitchen. Until Eleanor shoves herself off the counter, tripping on Asteria's stool.

"Louis!" She laughs again, falling in a heap at his feet. The girls manage to calm their hysterical laughs, y/n's side aching from the exertion.

"What's got you lot so worked up?" Louis chuckles, helping his girlfriend to her feet. She giggles, no shame present as she shares a kiss with him.

"We're just really fucking funny." Asteria smirks, flipping her black hair off her shoulder. Zayn slinks an arm over her shoulder, their hands linking together by her chest. Y/n hasn't officially met Zayn, but he seems nice for always being the quiet one of the frat house.

"We want to laugh." Harry whines with a pout, draping himself over her back. She's forced to hunch over under his weight, holding them both up with her elbows on the countertop.

"Well you missed it." Zoe teases, poking her tongue out at Harry. Y/n giggles at the wounded noise that leaves him, and he lifts himself off of her.

"Maybe next time you'll be here in time to see us embarrass your bitchy sister again." Asteria giggles, leaning further back into Zayn's chest. He smirks proudly at her, pressing his lips to the side of her head. Y/n thinks it's sweet how a boy as frightening as him can treat his girl so softly.

Harry's hands slip around y/n's stomach, leaning over her shoulder with a furrow between his eyebrows. "Was she giving you a hard time?" His warm breath tickles her ear, making her shy away with a giggle.

"Nothing she hasn't done before."

Harry's frown deepens at that. He knows that Jess has always taken y/n for granted. She could have the prettiest, smartest, funniest, most amazing girl as her best friend. Instead she chooses to make sure y/n is kept in her shell, always around to cater to Jess. He had never wanted to step in between them, hoping y/n would see for herself but after that day she was crying over book group, he couldn't take it.

"Doesn't make it right." Zoe reminds her, reaching past Harry's face to pat her cheek lovingly.

"I know," y/n assures, trying not to smile to widely. "that's why I've made better friends." By the way the other three girls smile, they know she means them. Harry thinks he could melt right then and there, seeing her laugh and smile and be rambunctious. She's turning into the person he always knew she could be, and all it took was one soccer game.

Glad that they're in the safety of their friends, he grips her chin and tilts her head unit he captures her lips in a kiss. He can't believe he survived so long without knowing what it felt like to have his mouth on hers. He swears he'll never forget it.

~

Y/n is drunk. Really drunk. And so is Harry, judging by the way they're practically carrying each other around the backyard. Harry finally convinced her to play a game of beer pong, and it turns out she's got pretty good aim. They won and decided to celebrate with a shot of tequila each because Harry swears it's his favorite drink.

They somehow get pulled into another game, this time against Zoe and Niall. Music blares from the speakers in the living room, flowing out into the backyard where groups have gathered to dance and drink. The beer pong table is set up in the far corner, hidden in a place y/n thought would be safe from Jess, Tina, and the little minions. She doesn't want to see her friend, doesn't want to be reminded that it feels like her high school years were wasted with such a bland friend. But apparently she's a magnet for the Styles DNA because Jess somehow struts out in the backyard just in time to see y/n and Harry win their second game of beer pong.

The group that has gathered around them cheers and hollers, the loudest being Louis and Eleanor, and Harry immediately tackles y/n into a hug. He lifts her up, the both of them giggling stupidly as he jumps in a group with his friends. Y/n wiggles out of his arms, stumbling into his side just as someone passes Harry a congratulatory drink. The cup gets bumped, it's contents spilling down her and Harry's shirt.

"I'm sorry Harry!" She gasps, pulling the wet fabric off his chest and squeezing the liquid out of it. Harry shivers but giggles, swatting her hand away.

"S'okay Peanut, m'fine." He promises, backing her away from the group with two hands on her waist. The party continues to move around them, y/n feeling dopey at his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks. "You're more messy than me. Gotta get you-"

"Y/n what are you doing?"

Harry's head snaps up at the sound of Jess' voice, y/n whirling around in his hold. Jess and her new friends have all moved to the porch, gathered around the fire pit. She notices they're all dressed similar, and they're sharing a bottle of champagne. Where did they get champagne from at a frat party?

"Hiya Jess!" Y/n giggles, Harry's warm hands tickling her sides now that her brain has actually registered their presence. Jess looks her up and down, eyes narrowing at the spill on her maroon shirt.

"Are you seriously drunk again?"

Harry jumps in before y/n can. "Are you seriously drinking champagne out of flutes? Where the fuck did ya get those?"

Jess shoots Harry an annoyed glare, but ignores his slurred comment. She takes a small step away from Tina, nose scrunching in disgust when she smells the alcohol on y/n. "Beer pong? You're not some raging frat guy y/n."

Y/n huffs, heart still registering her friend's harsh words despite how foggy her brain feels. "Who are you to tell me what I am? You meet Tina and now you're a fucking Popsicle."

Harry snorts from behind her, swaying on his feet and pushing her a step closer to Jess. The younger sibling rolls her eyes, blowing off y/n's insult. "And you're an embarrassment! You're a mess and you're acting stupid! This is why I can never take you anywhere or let you meet anyone worth a damn!"

Y/n stumbles back, feeling as if she's just been slapped. An embarrassment? Is that what Jess thinks she is? Who's the one wearing white jeans to a party? Who's carrying around a flute of champagne when this is clearly a cheap booze kind of place? Who's the one acting like a wannabe rich housewife? If anyone's the embarrassment it's Jess! But y/n can't say that. Because that's still her best friend. The girl she's shared so many years and so many memories with. The girl that kept her company through school and let her borrow her earrings. The girl that's always been like a sister to her.

"Jess that's enough!" Harry snaps, suddenly sounding more sober than he's been since they got back from the game. Jess opens her mouth, ready to sass Harry back but he's pushing y/n up the porch steps and shoving his sister out of the way. "I don't care how entitled you think you are, I won't let you be a bitch to y/n any longer."

Harry's always been good at pissing Jess off, but he's never spoken to her so harshly that she's been stunned into silence. Y/n feels dizzy as Harry leads through the house and up the staircase. An embarrassment? She didn't even do anything? She was just having fun? Why would Jess ever say that?

The second level of the house is a lot quieter than downstairs, the main noise being the muffled party sounds from below. Harry guides her down the hall. Throughout her friendship with Jess, y/n has always been the other. It's always Jess and y/n, not y/n and Jess. And she was fine with that because she had Jess. Yeah she could be a little mean sometimes, always bossing y/n around but it was good. They balanced each other out. But now...now she's just mean. It's like she doesn't even care about y/n.

"Aww peanut," Harry huffs, kicking his bedroom door shut behind him and locking it. After stumbling into his room after his first party to find a couple going at it on his desk, he always locks the door. "please don't cry."

Y/n sniffles, not even realizing she was crying until Harry said it. His words are like a nail in a cracked dam, y/n breaking into sobs and burrowing into his shoulder in embarrassment. Harry tightens his hold on her, not carrying that they're both covered in beer.

"I didn't mean to be embarrassing." She whimpers, crying even more when Harry shushes her. He strokes his fingers through her hair.

"You're not embarrassing peanut." He says firmly. "You're cute and you're funny and I was having so much fun with ya."

"I was having fun too!"

"I know, I know," he assures, pressing a tender kiss against her hairline. He lets her cry herself out, holding her tightly until she's nothing but puffy eyes and hiccups. "Lets get you clean clothes, hm?"

Y/n nods, peeling away from Harry's chest. She moves to sit on the bed but he stops her with two hands on her cheeks, thumbs swiping under her eyes. Her heart thumps loudly with the way he's looking at her, eyes gleaming with something she can't identify. It's like he's staring into her soul, everything she is, and not minding one bit of what he sees. Tears well up in her eyes again, this time for an entirely different reason.

"Even crying you're so beautiful." Harry whispers, lips quirking up when he sees a blush rise on her cheekbones. With a peck between her eyebrows, he nudges her to sit down and starts digging through his dresser.

Headache budding behind her eyes and body suddenly exhausted, y/n peels off her shoes as Harry gathers a shirt and sweatpants for her. "Can go change in there peanut." He coos, nodding towards the attached bathroom. She takes the clothes from him, closing the door. By the time she's changed and washed her face, Harry's changed into a pair of athletic shorts and a new shirt as well.

Her shirt gets tossed in Harry's wicker hamper, her jeans folded and placed on top of the stack of books on his desk. "Wanna stay the night?" Harry mumbles shyly, setting up Disney+ on his laptop. Y/n nods, a smile taking over her face as she knees her way into his unmade bed. Harry doesn't comment as he watches her arrange the pillows and straighten the blankets, but he does smile like a fool.

The intro of Lady and the Tramp starts playing, Harry shutting off his light as he slips into bed next to her. Y/n gladly snuggles into his side, head resting on his ribs as he runs his fingers up and down her spine. Not even five minutes in does she feel her eyes starting to droop, lazily looking around the room. She freezes when she spots a familiar poster hung up on the wall, the glitter on his name glinting in the moonlight coming from the window.

"You hung my poster up." Y/n mumbles sleepily, chest flooding with warmth. Harry doesn't skip a beat.

"Of course I did. My favorite person made it for me."

Now it's her smiling like a fool, finally letting her eyes slip shut. Half way to unconsciousness, she decides that she never wants to speak to Jess again.

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 5

part 4 here

Hello everyone and welcome back to this... thing. Last time, we met Tsuruno, who I forgot to mention is voiced by the TrySail member we hadn't seen yet, Natsukawa Shiina. After meeting Tsuruno, our girls join Yachiyo in investigating the rumor of the Seance Shrine, that they in fact find, and left off with them meeting the people they were looking for. Are those the real deal? Guess we'll have to watch to find out.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 5

Rather than going back to where we left off right away, we are first treated to a flashback to the person Yachiyo asked to meet. 

and of course, that inverted "sayonara" there in the background doesn't mean anything, nope.

Just by this little scene, we can guess that the person Yachiyo's searching for was also interested in the rumors about salvation. Yachiyo, however, doesn't wish to be saved like this person does. So what exactly happened to Yachiyo's friend?

Back to where we left off, Yachiyo and Iroha meet the people they had written the names of. Iroha runs after and hugs Ui, but the situation is quite strange. When Iroha takes a step back, this Ui starts repeating the ad about Kamihama like a broken record (haha, record). It's really unsettling. Iroha realizes this is a fake, looks around, sees the people that had disappeared and when she looks back Ui's fake is gone.

Iroha, that's a pretty concerning color your Soul Gem has right now...

While she's off doing that, Yachiyo confronts the Mifuyu that appeared to her. Hey, this one's actually behaving like a person, at least.

Yachiyo says she can't just believe she's real, so Mifuyu tells her some things that probably only the two of them should know, making Yachiyo have to concede that at least when it comes to memories she's the real deal.

That's kinda mean to say when you're the one who went ahead and disappeared.

Yachiyo questions Mifuyu about why she disappeared and asks her to come back but Mifuyu says she can't leave the shrine because her body has become too used to it. What is this, the underworld?

Mifuyu invites Yachiyo to stay instead, and Yachiyo is... hypnotized by the little pinwheel? I guess, but Iroha snaps her out of it.

Obviously, this Mifuyu was also a fake. Really raises the question on why this one is so life-like when Ui's was a walking ad.

For some reason, Yachiyo can't see the creepiness of the fake. She insists that they have to leave, but the fake Mifuyu refuses to. Seeing that, Yachiyo starts doubting she's the real Mifuyu again.

...really, what is up with that pinwheel? Yachiyo stares into it again and is, uh... cursed? I guess.

Seeing that, Iroha threatens the fake Mifuyu, who decides Iroha's the reason why Yachiyo won't stay so she has to erase her.

Mifuyu jumps around with her chakram hula hoop, boasting about her relation with Yachiyo, before attacking.

Can't really screenshot this but Mifuyu's movements while dodging Iroha's bolts are really nice, she’s like a ballerina.

...also, Iroha, your aim sucks. Though nice job noticing the hoop was also a boomerang.

...well, guess you're the one who has a void to fill in now. (this shot’s so nice)

being meguca is suffering.

Yachiyo defeats the fake Mifuyu with a fair deal of colateral damage to her sanity points. She cleans her Soul Gem with great difficulty, but the amount the Grief Seed she had in hand could clean was not enough. So Iroha comes in and uses her own spare one (which I think is the one she received from Yachiyo in ep1) to finish cleaning it. Yachiyo protests this but Iroha says she can't just abandon her.

When that's done, Tsuruno comes in to join them. Shes says the familiars outside suddenly disappeared, so she got worried and came here.

It seems like since they defeated the fakes, the master of this barrier decided to deal with them itself.

The girls try to put in some damage, but not even op Yachiyo's attacks manage to make a lasting effect. When Tsuruno loses her flames, Yachiyo creates a bullet hell and tells them to find a way out while she distracts the thing, but apparently Iroha's still on the "need to get stronger" mentality and refuses to back out, only to get wrecked.

Uhhhh... That's not very good. Are we losing our protagonist only five episodes in?

...this face is kinda heart-breaking. It's actually honestly impressive that she didn't witch out right then and there considering how unsettling fake Ui was and how her Soul Gem was already impure by then.

Iroha passes out, so Yachiyo carries her and Tsuruno and her make a run for it.

While they do that, Iroha's having some weird near-death experience (...I never died so I can't affirm it's weird). She sinks further and further, getting caught up in bandages and then, when she comes face to face with her own reflection, bandages cover her eyes and that reflection gains a creepy white mask(?).

Suddenly, the bandage materializes irl and we get a Elseve commercial-- I mean, no, Iroha witches-out...? Kinda...? Her hair has spawned a witch.

The animation on Iroha's hair here is really nice.

Hey, nice haircut!

The witch(?) of the Seance Shrine doesn't seem very happy to have a companion though, so it tackles Iroha's witch, which in turn binds it with its bandages and starts pecking.

Who'd win, an elephant lizard or a weird birb doll?

Just... absolutely brutal.

Iroha's witch tears apart the master of this barrier, and the Seance Shrine fades, delivering everyone back to Mizuna Shrine, including the people who had disappeared... and Iroha's witch. Wait, weren't witches supposed to only exist inside Labyrinths...?

Not satisfied with snacking on the rumor's monster, Iroha's witch decides Tsuruno is next on the menu but, before the restaurant girl can become food, a certain veteran comes in with a bang. Literally.

Iroha's witch gets a second hole in her body and spews Iroha out before fading. Then-

wait...

SPEWS IROHA OUT?

That's not how witches work!

Mami thinks that Iroha is a witch pretending to be a human, so she's determined to eliminate her (to be fair, she only saw Iroha with the witch, so...). Yachiyo, however, tells her to step down, and you could almost see the sparks flying between them.

Yachiyo and Tsuruno manage to make Mami give up on shooting Iroha, so Mami changes the subject to what she had heard from Kyuubei.

Yachiyo, I don't think this is the best time to be picking a fight...

Mami confirms that she's aware of what's going on and Yachiyo says it's none of their problem, and she should keep her territory's problems on her own territory. Geez, Yachiyo, calm down. It's not like she tried to shoot one of your friends or- oh.

Yachiyo: “You must be at least this tall to enter Kamihama.“

Mami did say she didn't want to pick a fight with Kamihama's magical girls, so she decides to retreat quietly for the day, but not before leaving some veteran advice for Tsuruno:

Which girl, Mami? Yachiyo or Iroha?

Leaving this cryptic piece of advice, Mami takes off, as well as the chibi Kyuubei, that she conveniently didn't see.

Inside Iroha's mind, she's freed from being a temporary mummy and instead starts having a weird dream.

In the near future, you'll get targeted ads in your dreams.

"I didn't sign up for this."

Iroha can't catch a break.

When she wakes up, Iroha's in an unknown room. She notices that her Soul Gem is completely clean now. Very suspicious.

I may or may not have an absurd amount of screenshots of this place to use as reference for drawing.

Iroha does some exploring and finds Yachiyo, because this is Yachiyo's place. Yachiyo says she carried her there since she was unconscious, and asks if she wants to call her parents, to which Iroha just shakes her head quietly. Of course, Iroha's parents aren't around so there's no real point in her calling them. Convenient in this situation, but kinda sad all around. Yachiyo doesn't pry.

Iroha realizes she must've been there a while and makes to leave immediately but Yachiyo points out it's past the hour public transport works (even in the near future, huh). While Iroha's visibly troubled, Yachiyo suggests she just stay over for the night.

...now Yachiyo I get telling a middle schooler to not walk about this late at night, but isn't that the time most magical girls act? lol

Dunno what this is but it looks good.

While Yachiyo prepares dinner, Iroha asks if there's anything she can help with, but Yachiyo just tells her to go rest some more, which she does.

"I have school tomorrow!" "...oh, it's Saturday." This is so relatable. Even when you're not at school anymore.

I shouldn't be that long since Iroha's parents left, but as expected it must be really lonely being all alone like this, with no friends and only an empty room reminding her of what she lost. Poor Iroha (man, how many more times will I have to write this...).

Sometime later, Yachiyo comes to call Iroha for dinner, but...

Yachiyo repeats her phrase from the begging of this episode, but with more parts now.

Yachiyo had told Iroha just the episode before that Iroha was held down by her past but, as it turns out, Yachiyo is even more so. These two's suffering is actually very alike: Both lost someone that meant the world to them, and now are searching for their lost parts while bearing their loneliness.

It's a short scene, but it's quietly one of the best ones until now in my opinion. It's beautiful, and does a great job in starting to touch upon Yachiyo's true nature. Even the kinda on-the-nose shot of her being "trapped" by the window is good. 10/10 on this one.

Oh, also, if I had to give one difference between Yachiyo and Iroha in this context, it'd be that while Iroha is adamant that her sister existed and that she'll find her somehow, Yachiyo's way of talking about Mifuyu don't sound like she thinks they'll meet again sometime, despite her searching for her. From my point of view, there are two reasons for this: one is that Iroha might just break if she ever stops believing. Could you imagine? Realizing the sister you've traded your soul for, your only friend and most important thing, never actually existed. That's a one-way ticket to despair if I ever saw one. The other one is that Yachiyo, like fake Mifuyu touched briefly on, has been a magical girl for years now. Whether she knows the truth or not, it's easy to imagine that the longer you live as one the more aware you are of how easy it's to die in this path. If Yachiyo has seen a lot of other magical girls fall around her in all those years, it's quite possible a part of her believes Mifuyu is missing because she's dead. Which is... very tragic.

Well, anyways...

"There's no place for you here."

It's particularly ironic to have this title card show up just after a scene where Iroha's sleeping on Mifuyu's room.

Also, DON'T LEAVE YET.

I did it again, I forgot there were after-credit scenes, again!

Somewhere else, Momoko's team was getting their butt handed to them by a witch and Kaede, the only one left standing, despairs and does the same thing Iroha did.

Kaede, however, doesn't get the benefit of being knocked out like Iroha, so she very understandably freaks out.

"Could I be a witch?" I mean, technically...

One thing Kaede has got right, though: This is definitely not normal.

When magical girls witch out, their Soul Gems are supposed to turn into Grief Seeds, but here not only Iroha and Kaede's Soul Gems were perfectly fine, they were even purified for them. I vaguely remember Sayaka summoning Octavia in Rebellion, but I don't think this is it either. Well, it's a good thing for the girls so not that I'm complaining but what the heck is going on here?

...of course, I already know the answer to this, but making you curious is my job :v

With all of that said (and put all in that this was looong), I hope to see you guys tomorrow as we watch episode 6 and try to put together the pieces of the many puzzles Magia Record has given us. See you next time!

[kpop-zone]

Bully Twice reaction to liking their victim

A/N: I’m sorry if this is kinda disappointing. First of all, my writing sucks in general. Secondly, I just couldn’t imagine some of the members being really mean, so this is more of a soft bully liking their victim reaction :D

Nayeon

Sometimes Nayeon asked herself whether she was a bad person. Some people thought she was, but she wasn’t convinced. She was simply better than other people. Consequently, they needed to be punished when they acted out of line. That was the only way to secure the order. Admittedly, sometimes innocent people had to suffer too, but that was the rare exception.

One of those exceptions was you. Nayeon was fairly perplexed when she realized that she liked you. She had always imagined falling for someone equal. Gorgeous, rich and high-class. But those weren’t the words, Nayeon would use to describe you. You were a wallflower. The only reason why she had noticed you, was because you had dropped all your books when she bumped into you while brushing past you. Agitatedly she had looked at you to show you your place in the hierarchy, but the moment, she looked into your eyes, she knew that you were special. Maybe not for the rest of the world, but for her.

Nevertheless, she couldn’t ruin her reputation. She couldn’t be seen with someone like you. Therefore, she couldn’t stop treating you like an inferior. Plus, she actually quite enjoyed the fearful look in your eyes when you were around her. It was always fun to torture other people, but something about torturing you, gave her the extra kick.

So you became her drug. She was lurking for you everywhere. In school, on your way home and even when you went out with your friends to go to the cinema. Every single time, she cornered you, dug her nails into your skin and made you beg for her to spare you. If she couldn’t be close to you in the way she wanted to, she had to find different ways. Perhaps, you weren’t able to see it, but it was her way of showing you that she liked you.

Jeongyeon

Feelings were weaknesses. In this world, it was to eat or to be eaten. And Jeongyeon decided for the former. Therefore, she built walls around her that no one could break, making her cold and untouchable. Everyone in school was scared of her. Even her friends. Because no one was safe. If someone did something against her will, they would be punished, no matter who they were. Especially if someone threatened to reveal how insecure she really was.

And no one was better at it than you. Although you didn’t even know it. When Jeongyeon first saw you, everything around her faded into the background and she could only see you. She was mesmerized. In the beginning, Jeongyeon didn’t see a problem with her admiration. Until it started to show. You had accidentally bumped into her in the hallway. Seeing who you had run into, you tried to protect your face from the punch that you were expecting and Jeongyeon’s heart felt heavy.

She didn’t want you to fear her. She had been so disappointed by your reaction that she stopped dead in her tracks, and you had the chance to run away. Everyone in the hallway had stared at her in disbelief. Did the Jeongyeon just let a victim go? And suddenly she had realized what you had been doing all this time. You had been breaking down her walls. But she couldn’t let that happen. What would the others do if they found out that she wasn’t all that tough like the pretended to be?

So the next time she saw you, she had to punish you. Prove to everyone that you weren’t her weakness. Unsuspectingly, you were in the cafeteria, walking to your seat with your tray in your hands, when Jeongyeon wordlessly walked up to you. She knocked the tray out your hands and shoved you so hard that you fell to the floor. You winced in pain and Jeongyeon shortly closed her eyes because of the noise. Quickly she stormed past you and out of the cafeteria, before anyone could see the tears welling in her eyes. She needed to stay untouchable to protect herself. She wouldn’t let you be an exception, even if you were.

Momo

Momo loved walking through the halls, making people quiver. Equally in fear and in awe. She knew that everyone wanted to either be her or be with her. But she was untouchable. No one could do it like her and even when she liked to play with the feelings of others, at the end of the day, no one could have her either. They were just her toys that she liked to torture.

Momo knew that it was wrong to put other people down to feel better, but she didn’t care. It was just too much fun. Therefore, she kept making people look like fools. And the possibilities to do so were endless when everyone followed your word like dogs. But her favorite methods had to be to literally let people kiss her feet or to drive a wedge between couples by seducing them to cheat. Being evil was just a great time killer.

One day, she had been feeling bored again, so she had forced a random group of friends that had been standing in the hallway to give her all their food, only to throw it on the floor the next moment and let them clean it  up again. As she had been watching the scene in front of her, you had caught her eye. For the first time in her life, she had fallen for someone. In the beginning, she didn’t understand what her feelings meant.

Only when she kept torturing you the following weeks, she realized that it was no fun to watch you suffer. So she decided to claim you. You belonged to her now. Wordlessly she interlaced your fingers when you were walking down the hall one day, only for you to yank away your hand. But it didn’t matter what you thought. Sooner or later you would realize that she only wanted the best for you. Therefore, Momo aggressively clutched your arm, digging her nails into your skin.

“Don’t make it harder than it has to be.”

She whispered threateningly into your ear before kissing your cheek sweetly.

Everyone was looking in shock at the two of you, but Momo didn’t care. You were hers now and it was better when everyone knew.

Sana

Sana had liked you since she could think. But apparently the universe liked torturing her. The two of you never seemed to walk the same path. While you became a talented, smart and lovely person, she became part of the worst kind of people. The ones that felt superior to others and thought that they had the right to do anything they wanted to. She wasn’t a bad person, but her charms and looks made her the picture-perfect evil sweetheart. And so she became what everyone thought she was.

But no one was resistant against her charms. Neither were you. You had noticed her staring at you from across the room, making you nervously avoid her gaze. Sana thought that your shyness was cute. You made her feel like a hunter, watching her prey. But soon the glances weren’t enough. She needed to feel you underneath her touch. So eventually, she ambushed you. You had been searching for a book in the library when she pinned you to the shelf, attaching her lips to yours and sucking all air out of you. You didn’t even know what had hit you before Sana already disappeared, not wanting anyone to catch the two of you.

That’s how her game with you began. She made you feel like no one else ever did before. Both in the best and worst way possible. When no one was watching, she attacked you with kisses, making both of your heads spin. But as soon as she was with her friends again, she made your life a living hell. Her specialty was to seduce you in front of the eyes of everyone, only to pull back in the last second, making you look like the biggest, most oblivious fool in the whole school.

“Did you really think, I would kiss you? That makes you not only ugly, but stupid too.”

She would laugh maliciously, making everyone around you join in. And every time you ran away with tears streaming down your cheeks, making Sana’s heart ache. But for everyone else, she put her cold mask on, letting the crowd fete her while she smirked smugly.

Jihyo

Jihyo knew that she was a queen and so did everybody else. She was by far the most popular girl in school and everyone wanted to be close to her. And being the popular girl had its perks. Jihyo could basically do whatever she wanted without suffering the consequences. Her clique and her skipped the line in the cafeteria, forced the nerds to do their homework for them and reserved a whole restroom to be able to smoke inside the school building. Everyone just accepted their superiority. Everyone except for you. Unwaveringly you refused to stand down to Jihyo.

Today all of her friends and her were gathered in their “private” restroom when you barged in.

“Get lost, loser!”

One of her friends, yelled at you, but you didn’t care. Slow-paced you walked to the sink, washing your hands. Jihyo smirked to herself. She liked the challenge. It was fun to be the popular girl for a while, but she had gotten bored lately. Everyone just knelt to her, there was no excitement anymore to all of this.

Nevertheless, she couldn’t let it show that she was impressed by you. Roughly she shoved you, making you bump into the sink. You slightly winced in pain before looking at her angrily. But Jihyo couldn’t be bothered, she stepped closer to you, leaving your faces only inches apart.

“Watch it, before you get hurt.”

She gritted through her teeth, but you didn’t even think about standing down to her. You were about to talk back when the bell rang, indicating that classes would start soon.

“Lucky you.”

Jihyo chuckled, giving her friends the sign to leave with her. She definitely had to test your limits. Who knew? Maybe she had finally found someone equal to her.

Mina

She hadn’t always been like this, Mina thought. As a child, she was a nice little girl, polite to everyone. But now, she had become a mean girl. Maybe it was because of all the private schools her parents sent her to. She was only surrounded by rich, spoiled kids that looked down on anyone that didn’t wear Chanel or Gucci. And slowly Mina assimilated to her surroundings.

So when you started attending her school, Mina wrinkled her nose in disgust. You had earned your spot because of a scholarship and not because of the money of your parents. You were the only one running around in no name shoes and with a backpack that you probably owned since elementary school. Her friends and her denigrated you every day, not caring that you obviously overheard their conversations. You tried not letting it show, but Mina could read people too well to not notice how you were slowly crumbling underneath their torture.

But over time, Mina couldn’t ignore the inner voice anymore, telling her that her hatred for you was fake. She didn’t care that your school uniform was a little worn-out or that you didn’t own 50 pairs of shoes like everyone else. What she cared about was that you were a genuinely nice person. No matter how much everyone tormented you, you didn’t shy back from helping your tormentors. If it was by tutoring lessons or letting them copy your homework.

Mina was intrigued. As hard as she tried to stay away from you, she found herself circling around you more and more often. Of course, she didn’t let it show, but being close to you, made her feel better. Just your pure proximity made her feel like she could be one of the good ones, too. Eventually.

But she could never get too close to you. She was toxic. And she couldn’t destroy your purity. Therefore, she needed to push you away. You would survive her torture, but you wouldn’t survive her touch, because everything she touched, wilted.

Dahyun

Since she could think, Dahyun was the one known for her impeccable sense of humor. But somehow, she developed from the class clown to the bully. Everyone always expected more and more until she started to make jokes at the expense of other people. Because nothing made people laugh more than the suffering of others. Dayhun didn’t really like to hurt other people, but as long as she could make people laugh and secure her spot as the popular kid, she would do whatever was necessary.

But that began to change when you showed up in her life. You had transferred schools in the middle of the school year, so of course you had probably already expected to have a tough start. Dahyun really wanted to spare you from her torture. No one had ever managed to make her feel this way. But she was too afraid to lose her reputation, so she started to make jokes at your expense too.

“Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?”

No matter what you said, Dahyun always twisted your words, making you seem like an idiot. She nervously chuckled at her own jokes, pretending like she enjoyed every second of the attention on her, even though she felt like dying inside.

Her inner conflict reached its peak when she went to the restroom one day and heard you crying in one of the stalls. She stood there like glued to the spot, listening to your sobs and feeling her heart break with every second. She wanted to wrap her arms around you and hold you to make it better, but it was too late. How could she ever make up for what she did?

Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung didn’t particularly enjoy torturing people, she just wanted to show the world that she didn’t care about society’s standards and that she could do whatever she wanted to. Therefore, she and her friends did all kind of mischievous things. Spraying walls, slitting tires or stealing the stuff of other people to scatter them in the whole school. They didn’t have anything against the particular persons, it was just fun to see the faces of the authorities.

But then you came along.

You had caught her eye, the first time that she had seen you. But you were just such an unlucky person. You always ended up being one of the victims of her friends’ and her malefactions. Your stuff always fell into their hands and Chaeyoung started to become angry. She didn’t like bullying you. Why couldn’t you manage to stay away from her friends and her?

One day, they were searching for trouble again and they found your unlocked bike. It was literally an invitation. Together they heaved it into a tree and when you exited school, everyone laughed at you, making you blush profoundly. That’s when Chaeyoung snapped. She waited until her friends left before storming up to you.

“Why can’t you be more careful?? Just stop getting into my way!!”

She yelled into your face and you flinched in surprise. Chaeyoung could see your confusion. Of course, you couldn’t understand why your tormentor was yelling at you to stop being tormented. Suddenly realizing how close she was standing in front of you, Chaeyoung realized that this was actually the first time that she talked to you and a blush started to spread on her cheeks. Not wanting you to see it, however, she quickly turned around, sprinting away like she was chased by a wild animal.

Tzuyu

Tzuyu had just somehow ended up in the wrong group of friends. Because she had such a cold demeanor and could admittedly deliver pretty snarky comments, mean people were attracted to her. They always thought that she was one of them. Even if it wasn’t true. But having mean friends, was better than having no friends, Tzuyu thought, so she became part of the popular, but mean clique in school. Mostly, they settled for psychological terror, but sometimes they also executed mean pranks like stealing the clothes from the freshmen out of the locker room, so at least one of them had to run around school naked.

But you weren’t like her friends at all. You were rather quiet and didn’t care about what people said about you. Tzuyu secretly admired you. It was fascinating that you chose to have no friends instead of being someone that you were not. But of course, it also meant that you were the perfect victim for her clique. They liked to throw ugly comments at you or shove you in the hallway. But whenever it was Tzuyu’s turn to torture you, she made sure that you didn’t know it was her. That way, her friends were still satisfied with her performance, but perhaps you didn’t hate her that much.

That was until her friends forced Tzuyu to empty her drink into your backpack while you had to leave the classroom shortly. She was just showing her friends triumphally that her cup was empty when you entered the room again, looking at her in shock. Your eyes bored right through her and Tzuyu quickly stopped smirking. Of course, she didn’t let it show how hurt she was, but the rest of the day, she was even quieter than usual. When she came home, she laid on her bed, wordlessly staring at the ceiling, not being able to shake the thought of your hurt expression off her mind. She tried to block out the thought of you hating her now, but somehow, she didn’t succeed, and her heart started to ache subtly.

[confringo-]

A Blog About My Feelings on Jesy Leaving Little Mix So That My Mind Will Hopefully Shut Up About It!!

It’s been, like, 21? 22 days? Since Jesy left Little Mix and it’s still got me fucked up. I can’t listen to any of their songs without being covered in grief and it’s honestly gotten out of hand. I’m writing this because I feel like I’ve talked about it to my friends, vented about it EVERYWHERE ELSE except here and it’s all in bite sized pieces and I still cant get over it already. 

And I know that I shouldn’t be over it yet but it’s just...it feels so petty. I understand why it had to happen logically. I’d much rather hear that Jesy left Little Mix to focus on her mental health than hear that Jesy fucking killed herself because it got too much. I watched the documentary. I know that Jesy could’ve done so. I should be happy for her. I should be happy that Little Mix hasn’t disbanded completely. But I’m not. I’m sad. I’m like super sad about it, to the point that I would have outbursts in my lonesome about how I wish Jesy hadn’t left. It’s so pathetic but also healthy, in a way, that I’m not bottling it up and live in constant denial about it. What’s bothering me about it is that I’m focusing so much on the negative aspect of it than I am the positives. Like, the FACT the mere FACT that Little Mix stayed together for NINE FUCKING YEARS and released SIX full studio albums and showed us nothing but unity and friendship and served us vocals for days should be something I should CELEBRATE not MOURN as though it didn’t mean anything. 

I believe this is all only stemming from Little Mix being the first band that I loved this much to have a member leave. 

I’ve listened to plenty of groups over my years and many of them have since disbanded or something to that extent but none of them have affected me the way Little Mix affected me. 

Spice Girls, Destiny’s Child, the Pussycat Dolls, Fifth Harmony, Jonas Brothers, S Club 7, One Direction - listened to them a lot, but when they announced that they were parting ways or when I found out that they parted ways, I didn’t SCREAM and CRY the way I did when I read Little Mix’s tweet. 

Let’s dissect this further: 

Spice Girls/Destiny’s Child/S Club 7 - I was a kid. I didn’t stan people. Out of these three, I was most saddened to hear that S Club 7 was disbanding because they were the first group I bought a CASSETTE TAPE for and would listen to them on every car ride. When I heard it happening, I had other kid things to distract me and other things that caught my attention so I guess that I wasn’t too pressed. Now, I look back fondly at the songs these groups released. Despite the drama, despite whatever happened next, I just thought, hey this was a good song by them, let’s listen to it again and bop. 

I wish I could be like this. It’s been more than a decade but I can’t really relate them to how I feel about Little Mix because while these people were part of my childhood, I didn’t attach myself to them the way I attached to Little Mix in my twenties. These groups have nostalgia pillowing the break. I consumed their content, their art, when I was still a child and had no thoughts other than “nice sounds i love.”

The Pussycat Dolls - If you know, you know. PCD...what a group. I lived for them. I think, out of all of these groups, I stanned PCD the most. They gave a teenage gay like me everything I ever asked for. The bops, the choreography, the lewks. I figured out, right away: Oh, Nicole’s...singing...all of this...? And I didn’t expect much out of them, really? Like, I didn’t live under any illusion that this was anything more than Nicole and the Girls. I was excited for Doll Domination, the second album, because each girl had a solo song on the album and Melody definitely had a few more lines in it, but when they disbanded, I was like It’s Better This Way because, you know, it sounded like being in the band sucked. When I listen to PCD now, I do feel the tiniest pang for the girls. Like, the songs still rock but I’m still thinking like “Nicole let the girls sing!” or like “Oop, let’s listen to Nicole and the Girls again!” instead of referring to them as the Pussycat Dolls. 

That’s why I’m not too pressed with their disbandment. It’s because they weren’t so much a group as they were an act, if that makes a little bit of sense. I loved them but it wasn’t like I expected much out of them, you know? I’m a little pressed about their reformation and hope, HOPE, that Nicole lets the others shine like a proper band instead of letting them all fade into the background. 

Jonas Brothers - Okay. So. I was a Disney Channel bitch as a teenager. I’m not embarrassed. I loved the Jonas Brothers. My favorite was Kevin because I didn’t have to fight anyone for him (you know, except his WIFE). I loved the dynamic, I loved their music, I loved their faces. When they disbanded, I was kinda turning into the angsty teen I was meant to be and I was going through the throes of being a teenager so I was rather too preoccupied with myself to care if the Jonas Brothers were making new music or not. I was also at this point in my life where I’m like “Oh I listen to all kinds of music. My taste spans all kinds of genre and I listen to so many artists, you would not believe” that the Jonas Brothers disbandment didn’t send me to tears. 

Fifth Harmony/One Direction - We all know where this is going. The one member who leaves because they want to go solo. This has happened to plenty of bands/groups before them, and I’m sure they aren’t the last. Here’s the thing with these two. I wasn’t IN it. Like, I listened to like full One Direction albums, and I listen to a lot of Fifth Harmony. But they were more of a background thing for me. I liked them but I didn’t LOVE them, you know? And that’s probably why, when I heard that they were parting ways, I was like, okay. That makes sense for you, I wish you well, and then keep listening to their old songs like it’s nothing. Because I didn’t stan them the full 100%. 

This is all to say that I’ve had bands/groups that I like disband and all for valid reasons. 

Then why, when Jesy leaves Little Mix -  in what could be the most graceful and honest way possible - why am I so sad about it? Why am I so angry? Why am I grieving as though I can never listen to their music ever again? Like it’s right there? Why can’t I just listen to the fucking albums?! 

As I was writing, I realized something: Little Mix is connected to my happiest moments. That’s why it’s so hard for me to reconcile this sadness. It’s because I’ve never been sad when I listen to Little Mix. I listen to them when I want to be in a good mood, and now that’s been soured by Jesy’s departure. 

And why would it be soured by Jesy’s departure? When Jesy’s reasoning for it is mental health. It wasn’t a feud. It wasn’t creative differences. It wasn’t because she wanted to fly solo. She left because she couldn’t handle it anymore and she was doing what was best for her. She is focusing on making herself happy instead of making other people happy. I love that for her. 

I guess I’m angry at the people who made her this way. I’m angry at the people who tore her apart, tore her down, to the point that she wasn’t happy anymore doing what was supposed to love the most doing. I want to kill them. I wish them all the ill in the world and I hope they all suffer miserable lives for what they’ve done to Jesy. That’s how angry I am. Truly. I want to go to each of their homes and kill them for catharsis. 

That’s extreme. And, to the government person reading this, we’re in a pandemic and I don’t have enough money or clout to pull this off. Don’t worry. No massacres are being planned in the making of this dumb blog about feelings. 

Anyway.

It was so unnecessary. So needless. 

What I hate about this is that the girls will continue without Jesy and maybe people are going to start saying that they sound better without her. I almost don’t want Little Mix to succeed because I want everyone to know that they’re much better as a four than a three, which is INCREDIBLY unfair to the other girls and trust that I will be supporting every succeeding performance and album and song that they’ll come out with. It’s just...

I don’t want the haters to be proven right in a way? It’s stupid. It’s so stupid. But that’s how my brain processed this. I also don’t want to prove Jesy’s demons right. I don’t want her to look at Little Mix and be like “Oh they’re better without me” because she made Little Mix special as much as the other girls. I don’t know how to CONVEY that to her in the following months or years. I want her to know, that no matter what, she’s special. She brought something to Little Mix. That her voice was everything. Her look was everything. They all tied it together and that’s what made Little Mix so wonderful. The unity! The cohesiveness! 

I would hate to think that Jesy would watch their next songs and performances and think that she has no place in it anymore and therefore, maybe never ever return, you know? I would hate that. 

I avoided listening or watching any performance when there were only three of them because then I’d be curious about the comments and then the comments will affect me in a weird way and I just don’t want to feel those feelings in YouTube comments. 

I don’t know where I’m going with this anymore. 

Confetti was my favorite album. Out of all of them, Confetti was their peak for me. It’s honestly the first album that I had without any skips. Glory Days had its skips, for sure, and so did LM5, but Confetti. Damn. 

I guess I’m also bitter that I won’t get to hear them sing some of the songs live. Like, we got Break Up Song and Holiday. We got Sweet Melody, kinda, but I’m still bummed that we didn’t get all 4 of them at least once on a live Sweet Melody. 

But I would’ve loved to hear more. Like. Rendezvous. A Mess. Happiness. Not a Pop Song. I would’ve loved to hear those live. Confetti. God. I would’ve loved to see Confetti performed. 

Again. These are all MY feelings. My selfish little feelings about Jesy’s departure. Jesy Nelson doesn’t owe me shit. I don’t own her. I respect her departure. 

It’s just...

It’s just so hard to wrestle these feelings into submission. Now, I see Perrie, Jade, and Leigh posting shit. I see them as a three piece. I listened to a few performances JUST TO GET USED TO IT and I’m so proud of them for continuing but I’m going to miss Jesy so much. So fucking much. 

God. The amount of times I’ve cried writing this. 

These intrusive thoughts are coming in, telling me that the girls are no longer friends, and they’re happier without Jesy, that Jesy will disappear and never be heard from ever again. God I’m going to miss the sound of her voice. Fuck. I’m going to miss their dynamic as a four. 

It’s not going to be the same. No one’s expecting it to be the same. I’m sad. I’m sad that it’s not going to be the same and I’m sad that I won’t hear Jesy’s part of the harmony in new songs again. 

I’m fucking sad and I don’t want to be anymore because Little Mix is so entrenched in my happiness that it’s really fucking up the emotional equilibrium that I struggle to maintain. 

I want to be able to listen to their songs again and celebrate that it even happened at all and not grapple with how I feel about this huge change in something I held so dear for so long. I wish that I had other experiences like this to lean back on and remember that “Hey, you got through this disbandment, you’ll get through this one too!” But I don’t. This is the first departure of a member from a band I loved and it’s really hitting me hard. All I want is for it to stop because I want Jesy to be happy. If that means not being in Little Mix, I should be able to understand and accept that. Why can’t I just accept it? 

Which stage of grief am I on? 

Somewhere between anger and depression. I don’t know how far acceptance is but I want to be there already. Out of everything that I could grieve about, this should be the least of my problems. There are other problems in the world, in my life, that require my energy. I can’t keep spending it on a girl group. The break wasn’t even that fucking bad. 

But I have to remember that I’m allowed to feel sadness. I’m allowed to feel grief. I’m allowed to feel anger. At the very least, this will pass and it will be an easier transition than most. 

I want to hug Jesy. so much. I want her to know that she’s loved and that she brought so much to the group and she’s given me so much joy and that she’s helped people and that she’s still part of Little Mix even though she’s left it. An integral part of Little Mix. And that I will fucking kill everyone who’s wronged her or said anything bad about her with my bear hands if I could. 

That’s all I have to say right now. Fuckin. To the Mixer reaching this to the end, thank you. I hope you feel better too. Here’s a virtual hug: (virtual hug). We’ll get through this. For the girls, we’ll get through this.