#it kind of just happened and now I love my twink son

[xenterra]

*foaming at the mouth* I'll stop when I'm dead

[emo-batboy]

i'd like the chart thanks!

Also, there's another person who wants to rp Leo, can they?

Okay a few people are asking for the chart so here’s the current chart!! (I took out some characters that are still not as fleshed out. That includes Nathan, Ria, Nina, Ashley, Zoe, Ray, Maggie, and the hater and Metropolis characters, but they’re all filler characters rn)

A Wild Battinson Character Lore Continuity

- Felicity

- Oldest of the bunch, right between Millennial and Gen Z

- Works at an office, besties with everyone there. Corporate girlie (does use the term girlboss)

- Like if a Gothamite/Bruce Wayne fan was swiftie-coded?

- She has a pet pitbull, you know that kind of white girl

- Tatum

- Goth U, Comp Sci major

- Keeps everyone he knows online at arms length so we don’t know much, has a small close knit friend group irl but he’s also mutuals with everybody on twitter because he’s that kinda guy yk?

- But they’re slowly convincing him. He’s getting there

- Marzia

- Oh god poor Marzia

- Italian, born in Northern Italy, English is her second language but you wouldn’t be able to tell if it weren’t for her slight accent

- Biggest Bruce Wayne stan, will go feral, but only gets replies from him at the worst moments possible

- *snorts like cocaine* “Please don’t do cocaine” is my personal favorite

- Goth U, she gives art major vibes but tacked on a double major in psychology last minute so now she’s staying a fifth year

- Reads smut, writes smut, part of the poetry club, def on booktok, you know the type

- Alejandro

- Runs an ice cream stand in the park on the weekends when it’s warm enough

- Bi, Dating Leo (pfp is them holding hands because he’s a whipped son of a bitch)

- He’s like if that normal-looking kind of athletic guy who always wore sweatshirts and basketball shorts to class just suddenly mentioned he had a boyfriend one day.

- He’s straight-coded but more specifically “the straight guy that gay guys have crushes on against their better judgement”-coded

- Knew the whole time he was bi but never REALLY liked a guy until Leo 🥺. whenever he looks at Leo, he’s got those madly in love eyes

- Thinks Batman is hot and suffers constant torment from Leo (who has a crush on Bruce) because of it

- Ale just wants to be bench pressed is that too much to ask? But It’s his fault he’s a twunk dating a twink so—

- Goth U, Really interested in tech stuff but he’s actually a sports medicine major. He wants to be a physical therapist for athletes

- Cannot hold his liquor

- Smile Watch

- Who knows

- It’s a mystery

- Lela

- Goth Girl

- BFF’s with Nico (goth girl, e-boy solidarity)

- Also good friends with Natalie, they lined up all their gen Ed’s together

- Chill in a Morticia Addams kinda way. She is Morticia Addams actually

- Mom owns a convenience store, she helps out after classes a lot

- Studied for the MCAT, did pretty well, she wants to be a doctor (probably neurosurgeon but it depends on what internship she gets)

- Currently completing the undergrad to grad program at Goth University with a masters in public health

- Natalie

- Former intern, now ASSISTANT at Wayne Press

- Got the job because she impressed Bruce with her good reporting skills, now works mostly on organizing press releases and maintaining Bruce’s public image

- Great at her job because she knows social media and Bruce Wayne Stans the best (she is one obv)

- (Babysits Bruce when Alfred is busy, how did this happen, why is this her job now? She’s tired of his shit lol)

- Still technically working part-time because she hasn’t gotten her degree yet, but she’s set to work full time after she graduates Goth U in May

- Sometimes while sitting at her desk she just gets that perspective shift where she’s like “how did I get here” Bruce Wayne Stans’ dreams do come true

- Caleb 🤡

- Literally 18/19 but aging faster than humanly possible with the stress he’s under

- Used to work at Bat Burger, left because the babysitting gig required more time

- Lives with his aunt who’s already retired (used to live alone, she never had kids or a husband so she’s loaded) He’s staying cuz his parents are super busy and travel for work :) and guess what crime-filled alley their window overlooks? I’ll give you one guess

- Babysits Tim, used to be a less serious gig but his parents have been out of town a lot lately (just vacationing without their child 🙄) and thankfully Caleb lives right across from their swanky apartment so he’s practically a nanny now (read: older sibling/third parent)

- Took a ton of childcare courses for this job and now he’s kind of interested in working at a daycare maybe? If Tim doesn’t kill him in his sleep first

- Recently graduated Goth High, now takes online classes at Goth Community College while deciding what to do with his life

- Jarod

- Recently graduated Goth High, now taking a gap year before starting GothU in the fall. Him and Caleb were always in the same classes so they’re super close (they’re the youngest)

- Future Comp Sci/English major (he wants to be a video game writer)

- Has a younger sister, and technically the oldest child but spiritually he’s the middle child.

- His parents and Priyanka’s parents are close friends so he kind of grew up seeing Priyanka as an older sister. That’s why they’re Like That.

- Literally so fed up with Priyanka, it’s not even funny (yes it is) but the second you’re rude to Priyanka, he will deck you, watch yourself

- Katie (Sweater Thief)

- ER Nurse at Gotham General Hospital, mostly does night shifts

- Gives chronically online energy when she’s online, but everyone in real life wouldn’t suspect a thing because she’s so good at having her life together (the code switch will give you whiplash)

- Surprisingly older than most of the others despite being Like That.

- Literally graduated with a 4.2 GPA how tf?

- BFF’s with Leo then became BFF’s with Ale too after they started dating (she is slowly corrupting Ale and I think that’s beautiful)

- Creator of the Babygirl Bruce Wayne Agenda and PROUD

- Priyanka

- Works at coffee shop owned by her mom called Caffe Mood. She plans to run it one day. Currently a barista

- Goth U, business major (accounting)

- Bilingual, knows Hindi

- LESBIAN QUEEN

- Despite being gay, She is allowed to think Bruce Wayne is hot, that is her Right

- Mad fucking crush on Georgia, calls her Georgie. Intends to never tell a soul. Will fail miserably

- Dead fucking set on the idea that Batman’s a vampire

- But she thinks everyone’s a vampire so—

- Her parents and Jarod’s parents are close friends so she kind of grew up seeing Jarod as a younger brother. That’s why they’re Like That

- Jarod is constantly on her nerves, wtf Jarod (but be mean to him and she’ll kill you)

- Leo

- Works at bookstore called Gotham City Bookstore

- Gay, Dating Alejandro

- Twink (derogatory)

- Swears his gaydar is the most accurate there is (always wrong)

- Made being gay his entire personality because he had an identity crisis in middle school and proceeded to have a massive crush on some straight guy all of high school (that guy was Ale, Leo’s gaydar is so off)

- BFF’s with Katie despite being a few years younger. They were in a high school production of Sweeney Todd together and the rest was history

- Calls every single celebrity gay as a joke, Ale reigns him in if he’s getting too out of hand

- Used to have a mad celebrity crush on Bruce, still kinda (definitely) does

- Attends GothU, undecided for a while but ultimately settled on mathematics because it’s ironically his best subject

- One of those mf’s that needs to be held back at all costs, god help Ale

- Rose 🌹

- Works a tailoring job full time

- Good friends with Felicity, she’s like the black cat to Felicity’s golden retriever

- 70% super nice and chill, 30% wild card party girl

- Gets drinks with friends a lot, tweets when drunk but no one can tell the difference. It’s amazing

- Does not seem horny, is horny. But like normal about it? If that’s a thing

- Nico

- Kinda plays the straight man of the group if the straight man was emo

- BFF’s with Lela (e-boy, goth girl solidarity)

- KING of twitter roasts. He makes memes to end lives.

- Pansexual, single, and probably writing bad poetry in his diary about it but don’t tell anyone

- Goth U, actually dunno the major. Probs public health with Lela but doesn’t want to be a doctor. More like research parallel to social sciences

- Has a 8/9yo sister named Madelaine whom he would die for despite not expecting to be an older brother so late in the game (what were his parents thinking)

- Has tea parties with her and all that jazz. She steals his eyeliner and chain accessories all the time, also she’s friends with Dick and Barbie (yes, Barbara Gordon) so sometimes he watches over their play dates

- He’s a “tough emo boy” so he totally doesn’t laugh at Madelaine’s puns. He’s a bitch ass liar

- Kellyanne

- GothU, marine biology. Transferred from GCCC with an associates degree to save money but now she’s got a full ride cuz of the WE higher education fund

- More recent Bruce Stan

- Pretty poor upbringing, that’s how she met Bruce Wayne. He bought her whole family groceries one night after her card declined at the convenience store trying to buy dinner

- Now she’s in it for the long haul :)

- Lia

- GothU, fashion merchandising

- A GIRL’S GIRL

- Older sister also attends Goth U, but she’s in med school

- More recent Bruce Wayne stan, still not particularly in with the culture and jokes but getting there

- Friends with Georgia and Elizabeth irl. Elizabeth was in the same sorority before graduating first. Got to know Georgia after Lia found her dog with Bruce at the park outside GothU. They party together now

- Elizabeth

- Graduated GothU last May and worked an internship at LexCorp, immediately regretted it but snagged a job at WE (thank god)

- Now works as a research assistant at Wayne Tech in the R&D department for commercial products

- Didn’t really get the whole Bruce Wayne Stan thing until Bruce Wayne personally wished her a happy birthday?? The man is so sweet?

- Absolutely loves her job but still screams at rubber ducks over faulty code in her little cubicle, but that’s the industry she chose so it’s a give and take

- Met Natalie through Stan twitter and now they DM each other about working at Wayne Enterprises

- Doesn’t post much on twitter but follows the main Bruce Stan accounts, irl friends with Lia and Georgia

- Georgia

- Has a dog named Bean

- GothU, majoring in like three languages, polyglot (including Hindi 😏)

- Works at a retail home decor kinda store (home goods?)

- So lesbian-coded, but does not know it yet. Priyanka is her gay awakening. She is now a regular at Caffe Mood (She thinks she just likes the coffee (yeah right))

- Works at Goth U’s admissions department over the summer too

- Once got drunk and locked herself onto a roof by accident, ended up hanging out with Batman (he offered to break into her apartment for her but she said “nah”)

- Jane

- Works at Wayne Enterprises

- Runs bring your kid to work day (idk what her actual job is but she’s an Essential Worker, okay?)

- Very sweet, 10/10, looks on the bright side but never in a toxic positivity way

- Super social too, became work friends with Bruce because she’s nice but not draining to his social battery? They have lunch on occasion

- Watched the Graysons die with Bruce, call that trauma bonding

- Watched her toxic ex’s car burn to a crisp after a joker spree and took a selfie with it (she can have a little revenge, as a treat)

[malebodyexhibit]

A Second Chance (a Next Door Boy tale)

Do you think someone could do a better job at your life than you could?

That’s my friend, Erik. We were best friends growing up, but slowly lost connection with each other in middle school. He was more sports oriented than I was. He tried out for football, hockey, and basketball (basically all the sports), and he became the star of many people’s eyes. He was the object of many girls’ affection and the goal most guys wanted to be.

I thought I wanted to be like him, but I realized I had a crush on him. This truth just drove a deeper divide between us as we moved onto high school. I became more bookish and defined myself by becoming the opposite of him. When he got a sports scholarship and became a star athlete in college, I got an academic scholarship and became an honors student. He got a fiance and body other guys only wanted. I struggled to maintain a long-term relationship and was a certified twink.

No doubt I fit some’s idea of cute and sexy, but it never lasts. Everyone wants bigger. Everyone wants someone like Erik.

Because we were at the same college, I heard the news in class when it happened. He was rock climbing with friends when his hand slipped, but his gear (was it a belay?) failed to function and he suffered a fall.

The following weeks hung with a held breath as his fans waited to hear news of his recovery, but it released in a flood of sobs when it was found out he wouldn’t fully recover. There were loads of support, but also other athletes. He was respectfully replaced. The world had to move on.

So did his fiance after a year. “What he needs is a caretaker, not a wife,” she said when releasing a statement. “He won’t even be able to complete his marital duties.” Erik dropped from school shortly after. He didn’t feel like a real person anymore. Just a hushed tragedy why you shouldn’t take your health for granted.

I, on the other hand, failed a few classes, dropped from the honors program and did nothing remarkable for the past year. My last boyfriend cheated on me with his personal trainer. I walked in on them fucking on my bed.

But honestly, I’d cheat on me to if I had a chance with that hunk.

But what changed my life was finding the Next Door Boy agency. I fantasized living a life as some hunk getting pounded by older men. But alas, I was poor. When I wondered if I could become talent, the agent for Next Door Boy scoffed at me and said, “Who would want to be a scrawny gay nerd?”

I left pretty dejected and my thoughts went to Erik. He’d have no problem becoming talent before the accident Anyone would want to wear the skin of an attractive, undergrad athlete. But I doubt he’d do it if it was available then. He was honest and kind hearted. He worked for his goals and he would probably find the idea disgusting.

But now in his current state, would he consider leaving his life behind? The idea struck a fire in me and I finally looked him up all these years later. When I arrived at his family’s home, it seemed to be held in a state of quiet. After letting me in with smile that spoke of remembering her son’s childhood friend, she led me to Erik’s room. It was no longer an elementary kid’s room who loved card games or Tony Hawk. It was an almost hospital-clean room with him at the center.

It was hard to describe or be there. The reality of the situation hit me, but we spoke timidly. We reminisced about the old days, then he wanted to know more about my life. Each day, he’d pry a bit more as if wanting something from ‘real life.’ Finally it came out that I was depressed and the past few years flooded out. He listened intently and tried to comfort me. A good guy like him shouldn’t face this fate.

When I got the nerve to ask him about the Next Door Boy agency, his face twisted into a venomous and spiteful grimace. “Don’t mention them again.” It turned out that his ex-fiance had a series of arguments with him before she left about the agency. She wanted him to take all the donations, some loans, to find someone willing to house his mind in their body. She would even help him find the perfect body, but it was too much. He would rather not be a parasite and buy athletic performance and live someone else’s life. Then his parent’s brought up the idea a couple times, but he shot it down.

He then confided in me that he had thought about it. But there was just no money. The donations couldn’t afford it all and his adoring fans moved onto the next hot star. His parents would have had to take out so many loans. Imagine getting out of this broken body and falling into soul-crushing debt.

Also, who would give up their body for him?

“I would,” I said. I initially said it reflexively, but as I said it and saw the expression on his face change, I knew it was true. “We’ve been friends, Erik. You’ve always been someone I idolized even after we stopped talking. Especially since we stopped talking, because you kept doing your best and pushing yourself to new challenges. I can’t seem to even exist without failing. And there’s something else…”

I told him about how I felt growing up with him. About my crush on him and how I pushed him away because I was afraid of him rejecting me.

When I was finished, his eyes glistened with tears, we sat in silence for a moment, before I said, “If you’re okay with it, we can speak with NDB. This is something I want for you.”

And that’s how it happened. We spoke with the NDB agent and the process was available. Because we were providing the bodies (how morbidly put), the cost was vastly cheaper. As long as I could prove I wasn’t coerced into this decision, it was a go. We went through the procedure to place the implants and went over what to expect.

Unlike the usual subscription other clients get where one mind goes in and one mind goes out, we opted for sharing the same body. Erik wouldn’t have it any other way. “We’ve been apart long enough, let’s spend this together.” It was touching, but we also couldn’t afford a replacement body for me.

The agent mentioned that this was a proven safe method of co-habitation. It couldn’t be that we take turns in control. One of us would always be ‘watching’. Erik almost volunteered himself, but I interjected. I made him promise to live his life and let me experience it. The agent mentioned that this set up would lessen risk of something. I didn’t hear it.

When the procedure was finished, I watched as Erik as me stood up. He struggled for a bit orienting himself. He worked with a physical therapist to gain more confidence in his movements. When two weeks passed and he was able to spend an entire day doing normal activity, it was decided he could attempt strength training.

I could feel the effort he poured into the body as he lifted the dumbbell over his head (no longer can I call it my own). What had been my soft stomach was now glistening in sweat as he pulled himself up in a sit up. He gasped for breath and the start of a washboard stomach flexed with each exhale. After his workout, he stood in front of the mirror and flexed his biceps. What had been twig arms now bulged with muscle newly acquired from Erik’s training. He still wasn’t at his pre-injury form and probably won’t be for many years, but he taken a non-athletic body to such a piece of meat.

“Thank you so much,” he said.

“You don’t have to thank me,” I said in his thoughts. “You thank me everyday, but this is all you. I could never have done this.”

“I will keep thanking you until the day we die. Well, it’s time to shower.” He walked to his gym locker and stripped his underwear off. His cock flapped down. Before he had been hesitant to touch it without apologizing to me, but now he absent mindedly adjusted it. He started his strut towards the showers when a guy exiting the showers glanced at him. The man looked at Erik’s package and was about to say something when Erik said firmly, “Sorry, dude. I don’t swing that way. Got a girlfriend back home” He continued on his way.

After lathering his body and drying himself off, Erik pulled on some clothes. He has a great fashion sense and it looks great on his muscular frame. If I tried to dress that way before with my twink body, it’d look embarrassing.

Erik took out his phone and dialed his girlfriend. They got together several months after the procedure. He already worked my body semi-presentable, plus with a good haircut and a great personality, he snagged an awesome girl. My sexuality never passed onto him and I watched on many occasions as he rode his girl to climax. I never knew my dick would be so awesome in the hands of another guy.

“Hey, babe,” Erik huskily whispered into the phone. “I’m headed home. I worked myself hard, but I think I still have energy left in me for tonight. Yeah, I’ll pick some up on the way home. I love you, babe.”

I thought I’d be hurt to hear those words, but as Erik hung up, we both released a sigh of contentment.

[whatifwekilledgodandwebothgirls]

Little updates on my journey finishing alcibiades 1

Alcibiades cannonically cannot cook

Alcibiades is portrayed as an abseloute dumass to the point that i question is at least some of it is him giving some aditude back to socrates . Most of the stuff he says i can see being ironic little " yes socrates" ment to piss him off because there is no way any person in the world espesialky alcibiades that woukd be ok being that humiliated. Alternatively, he is just so in love he puts up with it

Alcibiades brother mentioned!!!

Pericles mentioned!!! My baby girl !!! Also confirmation that this was written before pericles died , which again i could have learned by checking the dates but waiting till he was mentioned proved to be more fun

No aspasia mentions :(

Socrates says βαβαι a lot , which is very very cute and a lot of my teachers say it constantly when they are frustrated. Βαβαι supremacy. Its such a fun thing to say. Its like i think the ancient greek version of damn

I had made a post previously pointing out alcibiades constant use of εγωγε and now that ive read a bit more philosophy i can say that its not an alcibiades thing its a Plato thing. Its crazy because no one ive asked about this has made it into a big deal but Plato CONSTANTLY makes people use εγωγε instead of εγω when they mean the same thing but εγωγε is a bit cuntier . I asked my teacher why this happens or if there is any reason its used so heavily in philosophy and she told me no, there is not , its just the authors choice , but idk still

Socrates saying he is at a dead end ( angry , frustrated, whatever ) with alcibiades, and with his love for alcibiades just casually.

Socrates and alcibiades agreeing that someones heritage matters when comparing nations , saying that the spartans their enemies are worthy opponents because all their kinds are decendants of Hercules and of zeus . Now this is intresting because of two things first because i didnt know these myths existed , thats so fun every tribe had a difrent little demigod they all came from ? Also because socrates then goes on to say that no man that has ever sat on the throne of sparta has had anything other than hercules blood in him . I wonder if alcibiades though of that , many many years later , when he said that the only reason he had sex with and impregnated the queen of sparta was so his sons could sit on the throne . Abseloutely unhinged " i am greater than god himself " behaviour we see on alcibiades all the time , i wouldnt put it past him to be motivated to seduce their queen and have all that backlass for it just so he could fuck uo the years and years of tradition and prove himself more cunning that , and dethrone litteral descendants of gods

Socrates being a spartan apologist . Good for him

Socrates practically saying " no one cares what you do on your free time . I mean unless they are in love with you. Then they care a lot " he is destroying that twink

Alcibiades saying that socrates is wiser than anyone and socrates imidietly replying that they should learn together and examine the facts together . Despite being a bitch he tried to include Alcibiades and never brags about his intelligence.

[toyhouse-code-hell]

Screw it- Ask #2 because I'm bored. Can you tell me about your OCs? I like hearing about random people's OCs because alot of people like to rant about them and the excitement and pure effort put into making them makes me feel profuctive too!

There's so much. There's so so so so much. Nobody that I didn't already know has ever asked me about my ocs. They're all mostly D&D characters, or are in a D&D-esque setting I'll talk about some of my favorites, but there needs to be context.

None of the LORE is on any of their fucking toyhouse pages because I literally work on toyhouse stuff, get so motivated, I work on things for three days. Then I stop everything for six months. This is a continuous cycle. I suffer daily. I also over-explain and over-share A LOT. This is the first time anyone has asked about my ocs on a public platform. IT'S GOING TO BE A LOT. I'M SORRY. (And hell this might be a masterpost for all the little blurbs about my Little Guys?? idk!!) And ofc the art is old-ish.

Hamond :)

He's an aasimar fiend warlock (1)/ champion fighter (11), son of duke of a small homebrewed country, warlock of Graz'zt. Was sent to handle an owlbear in the woods due to it fucking with locals livestock. Was ambushed by said owlbear, it almost killed him, and this very kind demon lord took the opportunity to offer this young son of a duke a second chance to not be killed. Hamond agreed, got a nice new necklace, and killed the owlbear. He does the little things his patron wants in secret, which are thankfully just small things. His father sent him away due to his country going to war (contingency so royalty stays alive), where he met an astral elf twink who is now his fucked up little boyfriend.

Used him in a Heliana's oneshot before where this happened.

Next is Vihan! I'll keep it short with him because there is. A lot. (Glitch & Worm idk if you will ever see this, but this is spoilers)

They're a sentient sword, from a set of 8 weapons that embody schools of magic. Vihan is a shortsword that lets their wielder cast evocation spells for free, given to priest-kings of a long-lots city (of Mezro, the chosen of Ub'Tao are called barae). I gave him to my part at 12th level, since one in the party had made contact with his stupid fuckup son (Ras Nsi, not canon to actual FR lore), but Ub'tao chatted with the wizard like "hey. help me?" and our wizard went "K". I was thinking they would have him be a sword for a majority of the time but nooooo they fell in love with him. >:/ He was also broken when they met, to which I gave wild magic rolls when he cast things iirc (this was in 2021 its hazy). They fixed him up though.

(GLITCH AND WORM THE SPOILERS START HERE)

His former wielder was killed in a coup by another one of the chosen, in a plan to kill them all, usurp their god, and bring about an end to the world, but LORD that's another story.

But back to Vihan.

He's a real living person, kidnapped about 4oo years prior to the party getting them, had a bunch of experiments done on him, core implanted, renamed, all that. And given to a firbolg native to Chult who worked hard to be a barae, Epoch, leaving his 2 sons to be raised by his hometown. (and bc he was murdered and nobody was giving them answers, they became closed off from the bigger holy cities) And those kids got older, had communal kids, too, and one of those kids was the barbarian pc. The new barae of evocation was the wizard that said "K" to helping a god.

His name is actually Viktor, had an identical brother named Vacek (both changelings), and he robbed tourists in order for his brother to stay in a care home (their country of origin is corrupted capitalist hellscape island where if you can't produce for society, you have no use aside from being fertilizer, unless you can afford otherwise). When Viktor was kidnapped, Vacek was thrown onto the streets 10 minutes after payment was due, and he managed to climb on a boat as a stowaway during a storm and get the fuck out of there. While he was still chronically ill, getting off of pollution island was very beneficial for his health. He made it to another country and managed to live out his days and even had a family. He never went back to find his brother, assuming his thieving finally got him killed. (Their single mother was also murdered, and retrieving her body cost the two twelve year olds money they didn't have. She was meant to leave the country while pregnant with them, to be with their father who had already left, but port guards robbed her and kicked her back into the city. When her husband came back to make a stink, he was silenced permanently.)

Yes I was VERY into xenoblade 2 when I had this idea.

Vihan is a little bit fucked up.

I think I'll be done for now. I'll rb with more if I want to later.

[princess-dirt]

Long Rant, please ignore... or don't

Growing up, my mom would tell me how handsome I was, how I'd have to be careful with girls because of how many I'd have to deal with. She told me this as early as elementary school.

Of course, she couldn't have been more wrong. I grew up with undiagnosed adhd and likely autism. I had social anxiety and horrible self-image issues. I never cared how I looked, but hated how I looked. I was socially awkward and could barely talk to girls. That's to say very few girls ever approached me.

I was thinking about this, and only now have I really connected the dots. The patriarchy and heteromormativity of the world fucking sucks. Like I grew up and every good thing about my appearance that my mom would say never materialized. No wonder I suffer so bad from self-image issues. I had my mom pushing it down my throat that I should have a girlfriend, but also to be careful of girls, but also that they'd be all over me, but also that I have to make the first move since I was a guy.

I think the worst part about all of this is that when I was in high school, the lack of any romantic relationship really fucked with me mentally. I already had a pretty shit childhood, so it was frosting on the cake. It got so bad I fell down the alt-right pipeline and was a few months away from becoming an incel.

But I watched MLP. This show was the first time I was ever really taught empathy, and it changed my life. Fast forward senior year, and I've been experimenting with how I look. I have alt and queer friends, I'm learning about myself.

I spill my heart out to my mom about everything and how trapped and hopeless I felt about relationships. Like 20 minutes she listened to me. I was crying and desperate for any bit of advice from my parent.

"So are you gay?" My mom asks sounding almost annoyed.

Which leads to me begging her to listen to me and to take what I am saying seriously.

"Well, how do you think I feel?" She says now sounding angry.

This same conversation happens a half dozen more times. Each time I become more desperate for any hint my mom cares at all.

"You just need to approach them and be nice."

"You should try harder."

"Are you calling me a bad mother?"

"I didn't raise you this way!"

Now, both of my parents are brainrotted by Fox News. My dad is mentally ill while being the most toxic man ever, never being emotionally available for me ever. My mom still thinks I just need to try harder and that girls will just throw themselves at me. Her state of delusion is horrifying tbh.

It sucks because they will both die never having known their son. They'll die never knowing I use he/they, never knowing I'm pansexual, never knowing I crossdress, never knowing I cosplay, never knowing me, the pansexual nuero divergent femboy. And I don't feel bad over it.

I know my story about this kind of shit is way more common that I'd like. I've seen tik toks with very similar events I've mentioned with 100s of 1000s of likes and comments.

To think a generational gap could have such destructive consequences. My only solace for this is that I was able to overcome their horrible parenting.

It seems to me that as each day passes, the only way I'll remember my parents when they are long since dead is the mental scars they've left. I hate it, but I love my parents. They tried their best, but their best failed me and my 3 brothers horribly.

Anyways, back to watching Vampire Dormitory. It's a gay ass anime about some twink and a vampire.

Edit: finished episode one, the Twink was girl. I feel so betrayed.

[paraemu]

ok like i said on twitter here's a bullet point list on my dragon ball yaoi opinions

Goku/Vegeta: i know this is most popular for obvious reasons but this is a classic case of fujos deluding themselves. im not gonna say vegeta hasn't experienced some level of attraction towards goku but like he fully does love bulma and i genuinely dont think goku is capable of romantic or sexual attraction. that said i think their relationship as it is in canon is pretty interesting even without putting on the yaoi goggles

Gohan/Piccolo: this one i kind of get. people want gohan to have yaoi and he does have a pretty special bond with piccolo but this bond is explicitly a father/son thing. piccolo literally says in the show that gohan is like his own son. "piccolo is technically around the same age as gohan" he was obviously mentally an adult when gohan was a toddler so dont even try honestly

Gohan/Dende: if you REALLY need to ship gohan with a man this is your only real choice. its cute and had a lot potential pre-saiyaman saga but after videl i can only see it being one-sided. poor dende

Gohan/Trunks: ok this one needs to be evaluated on a case by case basis so lets break it down

Future Trunks/Future Gohan: after everyone else died gohan probably had to help bulma change trunks's diapers and keep him entertained and stuff so trunks was like a little brother to him. for trunks though gohan was this really cool masculine ideal that he was chasing after and i think its not a stretch to say those feelings took on a distinctly non-plantonic tint during puberty even tho he knew gohan would never see him that way. its safe to say gohan was future trunks's first (and only?) love

Future Trunks/Present Gohan: the roles have been inverted, now trunks is the cool powerful adult and gohan is the kid trying to match his strength. i think if they had been able to spend enough time one-on-one gohan might've developed a similar crush but with how little they saw each other and how high tension the situation was he was just left with the feeling that long hair really suited him...

Present Trunks/Present Gohan: we know canonically gohan was on babysitting duty for goten and trunks both. they have a brotherly relationship and trunks thinks gohan is kind of lame for being a nerd but he still looks up to him at times. no yaoi to be found this time around

Goten/Trunks: NOW we're talking! this is the crowning jewel of dragon ball yaoi. they grew up together, they're best friends who spend all their time together, they're the poster boys of fusion, they're literally attached at the hip. its got everything you could ask for in a good ship. case in point: gt and super both tried to make them het and they still haven't managed to put a single dent on their popularity. i hope they get married and have full saiyan babies

Whis/Bills: i love this one. they're such old gay queens who have been married since the down of time. im surprised its not more popular tbh, i think their involvement is blatant. couldnt have picked a better duo to relaunch the franchise

Whis/Goku, Whis/Vegeta: ok the way whis keeps checking out goku and vegeta is INSANE. he's not even trying to be subtle. that said i dont think he actually wants to fuck them hes just a muscle fan and they both remain oblivious

Android 17/Piccolo: ???? this is popular on twitter and idk why. ik they fought each other but nothing remotely bait-y happened in that fight. im chalking this one up to 17 is the only twink in db and ppl are desperate to have someone to ship him with

Yamcha/Tenshinhan: another pair the spares type of situation. its valid ig i just don't give a fuck about either of them. also i think tenshinhan is married to chaoz

Mr. Satan/Majin Buu: I SEE NO DIFFERENCE LOVE IS LOVE!!! ok jokes aside this one is literally canon. look at this figure and tell me it isnt

[rodolfoparras]

Nah it's ok, I just have crippling addiction to twinks and I'm weak for pretty boys who look like elven and angelic. I swear... a pretty thing bats his eyes at me and I'm fucking goner. ANYWAYS-

Acheron is old D&D character that went through quite a bit of development and he will always be one of my favourite characters I ever created hence why I made him into my Tav. He was originally female character for a brief while just because drow society is matriarchal and I intended for him to start out as royalty and threat to his aunt's power. Buuuut I quickly decided that I want him to be man after all so he's canonically trans now.

I don't want to prattle on about drow history and politics even though I could but essentially men are seen as slaves and toys and have no worth in the society and drows are notorious for turning on each other and killing one other constantly. Acheron's older brother wasn't like that at all and he was super sweet and him and Acheron were very close. Acheron was child prodigy and quickly gained favour of their matriarch and head priestesses and became champion of Lolth and his entire goal was to become head matriarch so he could build better life for his brother. That's also the reason why he repressed his real self and only his brother knew that he was trans.

Acheron was noticed and chosen by Raven Queen who sensed his grief and sorrow even while he as young child and she became mother figure to him while he secretly prayed to her. He got infused with shadow magic through the sword she sent down to him and she became his patron goddess. When he was still young man, his aunt (fearing his influence and the influence of his mother), slaughtered his entire family and Acheron only survived because his brother manage to hide him and his goddess kept him safe. That event broke something in him that was never able to be repaired.

Acheron fought his way out of Underdark and escaped to surface where he saved by young druid who would become his best friend (who is actually my bestie's D&D character). He only had locket with his brother's picture, lock of his hair and his ring to remember his brother by and he treasures it deeply. Also since hexblades (weapon he received) are kind of semi sentient and can talk to their wielders, Acheron believes his brother's soul is in the blade and he talks to it regularly.

He completely buried his old life, transitioned and made a name for himself, eventually being known as The Scourge of Underdark and he and very chaotic but mostly decent person. He had quite a few other tragic things happen to him that kind of shaped him into being cold and ruthless and no-nonsense person. And side note but he actually has genuinely good relationship with his patron and she does genuinely love him as sees him as her son.

Every other companion in bg3 has horrible and abusive relationship with their goddesses and Acheron is there all like 😶😶 "Mmm skill issue ig, imma go tell mom about my day and ask for new spells"

And his story fits so well with bg3 story and I even headcanon Minthara, female drow that can become your companion, as his cousin and her mother to be the aunt that slaughtered his family. And Astarion is like.... second person Acheron had genuinely romantic feelings for ever probably and his companions are one of few people he grew to care about. And Acheron is very much ready to do whatever it takes for his friends and especially for Astarion.

He doesn't care about power or influence or anything, he just wants to keep Astarion safe because he can't risk losing the most important person in his life again. That's why I hc that after the events of the game he goes back to Underdark and kills his aunt and everyone loyal to her and he makes it clear that unless he and his loved ones are left alone, he will not hesitate to wipe them all out. He's a little unhinged but ordinary people know him as a hero, albeit very scary one.

-🔮

Sugar!!! I am genuinely amazed how in depth this is it felt like I was watching a movie reading this!!’ First of all I’ll always be a sucker for good healthy sibling relationship and the fact that their bond still remains in some ways is why I’m not sad despite everything tragic that happened to him also Im so glad he has a best friend by his side to love and support him because it can’t be easy having gone through all that trauma and continue life on your own also astarion being all starry eyed over him, to him it’s like seeing a sweet puppy flash its teeth but he absolutely loves it feels himself get all warm and light 🥹 this is genuinely a beautiful story and I’m throughly impressed with how thought out every step is

[longeyelashedtragedy]

sardar azmoun for the character ask

such an interesting one!!! i feel like he was easier to pay attention to whenst he was at Zenit. i guess he was playing more, but also in a less "mature" phase of his life (now that he is a sardad) so had more of the inclination to be flirty and gay on insta.

favorite thing about them: well, he's beautiful for one. i don't really have that much of a "type" physically but i do always have a strong preference for dark hair, and he sure has that! and he used to be a bit chonky in his RPL days, that was a plus. it's funny when iran nt plays a big european NT and tungelr periodically discovers sardar, lol. Also--i love his goofy, jokey, bratty-not-a-twink vibe, his old videos broing out to turkmen music at home with his friends, his pubg mobile gaming videos, and the fact that he is a horse girl and fuckening facetimes his horses. and his "love me for who i am" tattoo. and the fact that his mom in the rostov days loved tyoma so much (i'm assuming you have familiarity with ye olde rpl lore...maybe not?) she'd pray for him to score goals.

least favorite thing about them: tbh...probs isn't quite as gay as i thot he was.

favorite line: um. there was that one long interview when the zenit guy went to his parents' house in iran and interviewed him in english, and he dropped some 'fucks' which was endearing, but also maybe it was that video where he's with deki and deki's son and was asking deki's son if he has a girlfriend. i was like sardar...no one here has had a girlfriend lmao (i mean yeah sardeki both have wags but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)

brotp: hmmm...maybe with his national teammate mehdi taremi?

notp: there are some cheating rumors about him, so...blah! that!

otp: RIP sardartem...you were truly one of the finest. in that heyday i had it up there with rakidric and the dejanships. and sardartem linkups on the pitch made that 20-21 season so fire to watch. also i mean. the fake anal in the dressing room. we all remember how they seemed a Little Too Comfortable with that. i kind of want to know what happened to make them stop speaking after sardar transfered suddenly to leverkusen.

random headcanon: i think he's a Switch

unpopular opinion: he probably would have been better off not going to bundesliga? is that unpopular?

song i associate with them: uhh this turkmen song but it's not like i listen to it very often...it's just playing in his fuckboi car during one of my fav videos of him lol

favorite picture of them: ooh, choosing a random one from the archives...

[defensivelee]

HELLO I wanna scream about this insane novel called Dark Eagle: A Novel of Benedict Arnold and the American Revolution by John Ensor Harr and you’ll never fuckin guess but it’s about Benedict Arnold. I have a lot to say about it actually so,,,,carry on if you want to,,,TW for mentions of pedophilia

also the image quality is a little SHIT sorry about that >:(

FIRST OFF I actually like this book for the most part. It was written in a tolerableee way in toleraaaable language and Arnold was really fun to read. I always see him as trying to act as some Tigerstar-esque villain (from the Warrior cats series) but he can literally never manage it because he’s surrounded by some average dude-bros. But this book somehow does it right even though everyone else is even more dude-bro than before. Arnold is just the right amount of menacing and (unintentionally) goofy in this book so it’s fun to read him fucking up everything!

That being said this book explains a ton and I mean LIKE A TON. Harr out here acting like he’s explaining this to 12-year-olds. WHICH HE ISN’T. I’M NOT TWELVE AND YOU’RE NOT EITHER. SOME OF YOU ARE EVEN 400!

Anyway Gates is here. Gates was one of my first dead blorbos so it was really amusing to see him here! He’s so UNNECESSARILY FUNNY ISTG

I HAD TO READ THAT WITH MY EYES MR. HARR 😭😭

Well if you know me you know I’m an absolute SLUT for Arnold and Gates before they fell out and this book is chef’s fucking kiss for that. It is SO NICE and SO SWEET how it shows their friendship like they’re just fucking DUDES man. THEY’RE JUST BROS HANGING OUT

ISN’T THIS THE NICEST FUCKING THING!!! Like FUCK MAN what happened at Saratoga DESTROYS ME especially with how Harr portrays it because they’re such!!! friends!!! Anyway yeah I’m so normal about that thanks Mr. Harr you get a 10/10 on this aspect

Now about Peggy and Arnold....FUCK IT THEY’RE ADORABLE HERE LIKE HARR SAID “y’all are going to LOVE EACH OTHER” and just jkdjksjkdsjkd

LIKE ALL OF THIS!! IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!! He keeps on thinking she’s beautiful and she’s so supportive and dkjfkjdskjsjkajsj they’re so in love here. THANK YOU AGAIN MR. HARR 10/10 ON THIS!!

In general I think Arnold slaps here and I will talk about him again at the end because this is a novel about him after all! But now I want to talk about *drumroll* JOHN FUCKING BURGOYNE!!!

Honestly I don’t have a lot to say on him. Why the fuck was he even here. He’s ffffine I guess and we get to have him staring at some tits and this really hilarious scene where he looks at himself in the mirror

rlflrlpfppwppwwqwqqqq okay then Mr. Burgoyne

I feel like he’s just here for comic relief tbh kind of unnecessary BUT I’m not complaining because he was still funny. If Harr was trying to make me laugh he won.

It’s André time now,,,,BASICALLY IDEK BECAUSE MR. HARR MADE HIM GAY AS FUCK and also kind of a creep because he had this weird interest in an eleven-year-old boy??

*sigh* I guess this is Mr. Harr’s novel and André being a fuckin twink is fine ig but it just feels like the casual pedophilia thrown in is like?? just going along with the stereotype that every gay man wants your little son?? idk if that was Harr’s intention but it just irks me because HI I’M GAY

But let me tell you something André proceeding to be Clinton’s boyfriend shot me, hit me across the head like a frying pan, etc, etc.

Now here again we have a mention of André’s sick “preferences” and then it just seems like he went ahead and rolled his ass over just for the promotion. Which alright valid I guess but JESUS IT’S SO FUCKING INSANE

And then there’s this scene. It’s probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read in any book ever,

But then there’s that and idkkk yeahhh pretty accurate,,,this is after he receives that last letter from André and he would deffo burst into tears over it! So very sad actually if I had read that without the knowledge that Clinton was tapping that ass here I would have cried :((

The death scene was fine. idk kinda boring

BUT NOW HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT LAST PART??? THE VERY LAST PAGE??? Let me tell you something man before my being on this hellsite was even dreamed about (where I found this book thank you Horacio), my thoughts, my headcanon said that when everyone found out André died, they would all stand around the table and Clinton would look up at Arnold and give him a hard stare.

And then they would all glare at him, blaming him entirely for André’s death, and he would back away and leave, limp away, in this sort of daze.

SO

THIS BOOK ACTUALLY DID THAT??? LIKE MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK MAN I GET CHILLS FROM READING THIS EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Like this is EXACTLY it THANK YOU MR. HARR. I’m so obsessed with this ending for the book it’s fucking PERFECT. This is actually my favorite thing about the book and words cannot describe how fucking normal I am about this.

Overall, I could read this again without dying, André is just fucking ANNOYING. Why can’t a piece of media get him RIGHT for God’s sake

But otherwise a solid book and I enjoyed it fr!! If you have a sense of humor you should be good to read it. It’s all here https://archive.org/details/darkeaglenovelof00harr/mode/2up (though I own a physical copy)

[theadventuresofgarlandodra]

The Adventures of Garl and Odra Manyboots- Crowley’s Party

Prev.

And today had been going so well too.

Odra was right in the middle of telling Dullahan about the time she was chasing a butterfly and accidentally went head over heels into a pit when she saw it.

Black armor. All too familiarly black armor.

Odra didn’t even remember consciously making the decision to get out of her chair, she was now suddenly across the room and launched herself at that bastard, that fucking son of a bitch who dared show his face here-

“Um. Ouch.”

It was only when Odra had sunk her teeth into the cretin’s arm that she realized this wasn’t Calipher. Nope. It was definitely his armor, she could guarantee that, but the blond twink inside that armor was not the edgelord Calipher.

The young man lifted his arm, smiling bemusedly. “Well, isn’t this a lovely greeting? Please get off of me though. Your spittle is starting to eat through my armor, and really, I just got it. I would like to keep it for a bit longer.”

Odra stared at the pretty boy for a second longer before she let go, dropping to the ground. She wiped her mouth off. “Did you happen to take the armor off of a bastard?” she asked as she wiped her arm off.

“I’ll only share a secret if you share one too.” The man knelt down, still smiling in a way that made Odra’s skin crawl. He was definitely beautiful by human standards, flawless skin, blond curls, and a magical glow about him. Literally. He faintly glowed gold, like the sun, except not nearly as blinding.

“Pass.” Odra stuck her tongue out. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else. I’m going to go back to my beer-” The goblin had just finished turning around to head back to her table when she bonked right into a pair of very muscled legs.

“Eh? What… Oh hello there!”

Odra was scooped up like a doll, held under her armpits by a goliath woman built like a gladiator. “Aren’t you so cute!” she cooed. “Like a little kitten, hissing and clawing at a wolf! We should keep her!”

“Thunderwarrior, that’s not a kitten, that’s a goblin. Put her down, she probably has some kind of disease.”

Odra whipped her head around as she was now surrounded by an adventuring party she’d never met before. The goliath was just one part of it. There was now also a half elf with the grayest skin Odra had ever seen, a satyr with a golden hoofed shaped boot on his left leg, a fire genasi with each strand of hair glowing bright like the end of a lit fuse, a balding, fat hobgoblin she didn’t recognize… and one scrawny one wearing goggles that she did.

“Hey! You!” Odra squirmed, but she couldn’t get loose from the goliath’s iron grip. “You were with Calipher! Where is that no balls cretin!?”

Kendrenal shrugged. “I don’t keep track of my failures. Siding with Calipher was a mistake. One I have remedied. I now work with Crowley, who is much better.”

“Aren’t you a sweetheart,” the blond armor thief said, patting Kendrenal on the head as the hobgoblin practically vibrated out of his skin with joy. “Kendrenal, how about you get us all signed into the guild? Tell them you’re a part of my party, I might not come here very often, but I am an official card carrying member.” To demonstrate, he pulled the guild’s badge from his pack. “See? We’re all on the same side here. If you have a grudge with Kendrenal, I can help put it right.”

Odra bared her teeth. “I don’t need any favors from you, thanks. As far as I know, you’re no better than the guy who’s armor… you took…” She glanced down at his belt. “That’s not yours either!” she managed to finally wiggle her arm free and pointed at the mace. “That belongs to Calipha!”

“Well, as I’m sure you’ve said in the past,” Crowley reached up and poked Odra on the nose, “she should have kept a better hold of it.”

“Keep your fingers to yourself. I bite.”

Crowley chuckled. “Oh, you are delightful. Thunderwarrior, better put her down. She could be rabid.”

After giving her another rough pat on the head, Thunderwarrior plopped Odra back on the ground. “So cute,” the goliath crooned before Kendrenal scampered back.

“I’m a guild member now!” he proudly proclaimed before he started passing out badges. “And so are you, Wick’of’Candle…”

“Just Wick,” the genasi politely corrected.

“And so are you, Thunderwarrior,”

The goliath quietly squealed as she took the badge, which looked pathetically small in her hands.

“And so are you, Tynos,”

The satyr snatched the badge before he attached it to his hair like a barrette.

“And so are you, Elphira!”

The half elf took her badge, hummed appreciatively, and stuck it in her pouch.

The final member, the unfamiliar hobgoblin, hemed and hawed as he whipped his head around to look at the rest of the party. “Pardon me, but it looks that you’ve forgotten someone!” he snapped.

Kendrenal stroked his chin. “Did I?” He made a show of looking around at everyone. “… No, I don’t think so!”

The hobgoblin looked ready to pop as Kendrenal smiled innocently. “You nitwit, you forgot me! Second in command Turgut!” He shouted, shaking his finger.

“There’s a second in command Turgut?”

“You cheeky- that’s it! That’s enough from you! That’ll be ten laps! Ten laps around the guild building, right now! And I see that smile, Elphira, that’ll be twice as many laps from you! Come on now, on the double!”

Elphira responded by calling Turgut what was likely an insulting word in Elvish before she turned to Thunderwarrior. “Come on, Nalthea, let’s go check out the baths, my back is killing me,” she said.

Thunderwarrior beamed. “Then I will rub your back!” she proclaimed as she following the blushing half drow out.

“You’re not allowed to fuck in the baths!” Odra shouted after the girls.

The genasi, Wick, chuckled before he knelt down to Odra’s level. “There will be no passionate exchange between them. As beautiful as both of them are, Elphira is too shy to confess, and while goliaths are strong… they are incredibly dense and will not understand romantic intent unless you spell it out to them.” He pushed down his glasses, revealing his fiery orange eyes.

Odra scooted away from Wick. “Yeah, gotcha. You’re not my friend, and your breath smells like sulfur, so I’m just gonna go,” she said as she turned away again.

She slunk back to the table, where Garl was waiting for her. “… That’s Calipher’s armor?” he asked.

“I’m sure of it. And that second hobgoblin, the one with the hand cannon,” she nodded over at the bar, where Turgut was sulking as Kendrenal happily sucked away at a frothy drink. “He was there.”

“I think I remember him,” Garl reached to touch a chip on his arm, “left me with this. Course, since he wasn’t a guild member then, I don’t think the guild master will give a damn. Especially because he already hates the both of us. What do you think happened to Calipher?”

Odra eyed Crowley, who was laughing and talking with the guild master, who wasn’t laughing or even smiling.

“… I don’t know. But I have a bad feeling about Crowley.”

Next

[cherryblossomriot]

i had a dream the other day that was basically a dinluke cowboy au and it has been HAUNTING me, so just allow me to deposit it upon you like my subconscious drop kicked it onto me:

Luke is a disabled veteran who has returned from war one hand lighter and several scars heavier. When he returns, his family, who are heavily involved in the politics/military of this fictional land, don’t understand his now jaded and melancholic view of both the world, but also the ideologies that they so strongly believe in, leading him to constantly feel like an outcast even among the people that he so dearly loves. They’re all passionate and strong-willed, but they still don’t understand, not his struggles with mental health or his new perspective, and it just makes things worse and worse and worse. Anakin is a general, and though he’s seen the gruesomeness of war firsthand, he’s also become desensitized to it and has anger-management issues, so he often almost finds a sort of refuge within the chaos of battle, so he clearly cannot even fathom the emotions and trauma that Luke is trying to sort through, much less know how to deal with them properly. Padme is a senator and cares deeply about the crimes and seemingly senseless violence occurring during the war, but she’s also a politician and knows how to play the long game, so when Luke comes to her, he leaves feeling misunderstood and pushed aside. Leia is the only one who seemingly understands, as the pair of them have a deep, intrinsic bond, but she doesn’t fully grasp Luke’s moods and doesn’t handle his breakdowns and flashbacks well. So everyone feels a little upset, a little unsettled, and a lot like they don’t understand why and how Luke has changed, which leads to Luke feeling more and more out of place within his own family. The war ends relatively soon after Luke’s return, which leads to parades which leads to awards which leads to balls and banquets, all of which Luke is forced to attend, his heart dragging but his head held high, because he’s an Amidala-Skywalker goddammit, and we have a certain responsibility and image to maintain to the public and everyone who endured so much. So Luke has to sit there through awards and boasts of glory and mentions of battle scars and it goes on and on and on, and he has to smile and bear it and accept the medal that they’re giving him because he did such a great service to his country and-he has a panic attack. A nasty one that leads to him having to flee from a ballroom, and outside to the gardens. Once he’s there, he realizes that he doesn’t want to go back in. At all. So he runs away. He just picks a direction and goes, stealing a car on the way (this is a modern au but also fictional countries because I don’t want to get into real politics, hooo boy no siree). In the middle of nowhere, he gets caught in a storm and basically crashes his car and passes out. 

But when he wakes up! That’s when the fun begins. 

He’s in this cozy sort of bedroom, and this hot guy is fast asleep in the chair beside his bed, and is that a little kid in his lap? Anyway, the hot guy wakes up, introduces himself as Din Djarin in the softest, most attractive voice Luke has ever heard with his own two ears, and doesn’t ask him where he’s from or what he was doing driving in the middle of bumfuck nowhere at 3 in the morning, so Luke is obligated to have a lil crush on him, even though he’s not sure about the kid. So he asks, and Din introduces him to his son Grogu, who waves at him and signs hello, because, as Din explains, he doesn’t speak much, and the foster system wasn’t too kind to him, so he’s got a little bit of trauma to work through. And Luke just, instantly falls in love with this soft dad and his cute little son who can shift his features from the biggest, most pleading puppy eyes ever to the face of a demented gremlin who will try to eat the frog he caught in the backyard, no matter how slimy it is, or how hard it tries to wriggle out of his hands. Din tells Luke that he can stay for however long he needs, because Luke’s kinda injured from his accident, and anyway, once he’s healed up, they always could use another hand on the farm. So Luke stays, and he meets all of Din’s other farm hands (and shitty friends). There’s Boba, who doesn’t talk much, but when he does it’s always something slightly ominous and menacing, and Luke thinks that his name sounds familiar...hey wasn’t he on the news for robbing a couple banks a few years back?...no, surely not..., Fennec, who speaks even less than Boba, and manages to be far, far more intimidating, but also helps Luke with his prosthetic and gives him fun little tips that always sound more like she’s cut off a lot more limbs than she’s lost. Cara Dune (who is not gina carano but i digress) is also there, and she’s just constantly a harbinger of chaos, but will babysit Grogu whenever Din wants to brood and stare longingly into the distance (or at Luke who’s also brooding as the sun sets but shhh). Bo-Katan and the gang are there, and while Bo-Katan grumbles about how the old ranch boss had different/better methods on how to run things, she still follows Din’s lead and helps him with the finances and taxes. They all take to Luke like a wildfire, because Luke is a sunshine boy who can make friends with literally anyone and somehow manages to make Din not only smile but laugh, but also because they can tell he’s got a lot of trauma and pain bubbling just under the surface, and they all silently but collectively agreed a long time ago that they are the patron saints of troubled and lost souls. 

When Luke gets better and starts to help out, he’s constantly upset with himself because he used to help out at his aunt and uncle’s farm in the summers when he was a kid, and he knows how to do this stuff, but his prosthetic is really throwing him off and his body has sustained a lot of other injuries that make doing manual labor a much more different experience than it used to be, but everyone is really patient with him and helps him out, especially Din. At one point, Din is so nice that Luke just loses it, because he doesn’t understand how Din can be so kind and so patient, and care about him so much, and kind of calls himself broken and useless in front of Din, and Din gets super protective and grabs his hands (real and prosthetic) and tells him that he’s not broken or useless, and you’re so sweet and wonderful, and can’t you see? Ever since you’ve been here, everyone’s been so much happier, so much lighter. You’ve brought something precious to us, but most of all to me. And they’re standing really close and for a second Luke thinks Din is going to kiss him, but instead, Luke realizes that he’s crying, and Din just wraps his arms around him and holds him.

After that, time sort of blurs, marked by things like Grogu climbing into Luke’s bed because he sensed that he was having a nightmare, and Din waking up to find the pair of them coloring in a serene silence, Luke getting the hang of ranch life and his prosthetic and dealing with his panic attacks and flashbacks as they come, and Din enduring relentless badgering from his friends because hey, if you don’t marry Luke, I will and Fennec, you’re a lesbian and that doesn’t matter, it’ll be a marriage of twink and butch solidarity. And all the while, Din and Luke are spinning closer and closer towards each other, two suns hurtling in their orbit to the other with an inescapable certainty. 

When it finally happens, they’ve just gotten back from one of those cowboy dances (idk what they’re called...hoedowns? yeah okay) (and yes, I wanted to hit all of the cliches in the book, thank you very much), and Grogu’s fallen fast asleep on Luke’s shoulder. After they tuck him up all snug in his bed, they head out to the porch, because it’s raining outside, and the steady thrum of water droplets splattering on the roof and on the grass is the most soothing sound Luke has ever heard (aside from Din’s voice), and he’s a little too afraid to go to sleep and ruin his perfect night with a nightmare. They stand there for a while, silence binding them together, shoulders brushing every now and then, hesitant and questioning. Luke thinks about how Din had asked him to dance earlier, his lips tilted in a teasing, but achingly soft smile, and how his heart had pounded a tattoo to the shape of his ribs when they’d pushed up so close together, the fast, rowdy dances of the beginning of the night having faded to something lasting, something meaningful. Luke remembers the ball he’d run away from, how the dancing had been cold, almost jeering in a way, and Luke realizes how far he’s come, how different it is here. And suddenly, there isn’t a question in his mind anymore. He turns toward Din, who turns toward him, and when he leans forward, Din breathes an uncertain “Luke-”, but he doesn’t get to finish the thought. Luke kisses him, and he kisses back, and it’s just them. There are hands in hair and noses nudged together, and at some point, they move, without either of them releasing the other, into the house and into Din’s bedroom. Buttons are unbuttoned, and whole stretches of skin are kissed, and when it’s over, they curl up together, Din tucking his head into the crook of Luke’s neck and falling asleep there. 

When they wake up, Luke explains why he came here, why he ran away, all the while Din looks at him with his beautiful dark eyes and runs his hands through Luke’s hair, which is catching the sunlight filtering in through the window and making him look like he has a halo, all the while never once condemning him for keeping it a secret this whole time. After he’s finished, he expects some sort of shocked reaction-after all, his family’s pretty famous, but all Din does is kiss him and ask, “Wait, so you have a twin?” 

It’s so unexpected that Luke throws his head back and bursts into uncontrollable, and very contagious peals of laughter, and when he’s finally able to breathe again, he kisses Din’s forehead and murmurs, “I love you.” 

Din, who has been touch starved and lonely for years (no time for relationships when you’ve got a business to run and a toddler to raise), tears up and kisses him, too overwhelmed for words. But Luke understands.  

And then Grogu pushes his way into the room holding up a box of Frosted Flakes above his head and shaking it, as if to say, I’d like to eat now, please. 

Din and Luke stifle their smiles into the other’s shoulder, and when they get up, Luke can’t help but think that he’s finally where he belongs.

----

It takes approximately .5 seconds for all the others to figure out they’re together now, and Cara and Bo-Katan (of all people) start cheering immediately, to Din and Luke’s shock. Boba and Fennec grumble and begrudgingly hand over a huge wad of cash each to Cara and Bo-Katan because they thought it would take them at least another two weeks to get together. Din’s very done with his friends at this point, but he takes one look at Luke’s flustered but smiling face and decides he won’t kill them all this time. 

And if everyone thought Luke was a lot of excitement for a humble ranch in the middle of nowhere, then they are in no way, shape, or form, prepared for when his very angry twin sister shows up with a himbo with a shit-eating grin and his 7 foot tall best friend she hired to track her brother down. 

(needless to say, Boba punches Han within two minutes of interaction).

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me." 

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress. 

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed. 

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them.  Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends. 

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way.  Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter. 

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry. 

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it. 

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents. 

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family. 

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently. 

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.  

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard. 

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.  

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct. 

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much. 

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened. 

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him. 

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out. 

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey. 

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

[aestheticsuwu]

4 times Johnny walkin in on someone +1 They walked in on Johnny

( Excuse my terribly writting )

....

1 .

At first he didnt understood Daniels annoyance of walking in on the kids making out or fooling around , They were kids once and by Johnny experience he had babes to makeout 24/7 . He told Daniel always announce to make your presence know .

Johnny didnt think it was necessary for the day he went to pickup his phone that he left behind at the dojo , there wasnt class that day but Daniel wanted to go over some stuff hence his missing phone .

He shouldve seen all the warnings signs but his brain was too tired to notice , it wasnt late but Johnny was tired maybe his age is catching up to him .

First sign was the car that was parked , the lights were on inside the dojo maybe Daniel stayed longer , the duffle bags and cellphones outside . He can blame that on his eyesight .

Sliding the door expecting Daniel inside going over some paperwork

" I left m-- oh God ! Diaz ! "

" Sensei ! What are you doing here ?! "

Why him ? Why , couldnt god just let Daniel suffer , he shouldve known his luck would finish now that he was dating that non stopping talking twink , that he dearly loved his mind supplied quickly .

He was outside waiting for the kids to step out outside to proceed to look for his phone . Diaz and little LaRusso shyly didntt catch his gaze , probably to embarrased getting caught fooling around by their sensei . He cant imagine getting caught making out with Daniel by Kreese , he supressed a shudder .

He tells them that he wont mention what happened if they kept their free time away from him , quickly agreeing little LaRusso hugs him quickly and dashes away with a sorry and Miguel in tow .

He goes back in quickly to find his phone to see if Daniel really had send that picture of him wearing his old Cobra Kai Jacket , wasnt a suprise that it fit him , he was still small .

.....

2 .

The second time, he walks in on  Hawk and Demetri at the Larusso's . Him and Daniel decided to move in together with Sam and Robby , And they had spare room where anthony could sleep when he's isnt staying with Amanda .

When hes not , Daniel lets Demetri stay in the room sometimes when the pale kid mother isnt home . He didnt quite like the kid that much , too much of a nerd he thought but Robby, Sam and Daniel liked him . Later on he sees that the skinny kid isnt that bad after all .

He takes  back his comment soon .

Johnny was bringing in some boxes in , too concetrated on bringing in his stuff he didnt see the motorcycle nor the shoes in the doorway .

What he sees in the living room , he thanks God for saving him from needing to bleach his eye if he had came in few seconds late to see what Hawk was planning to do .

" What the fuck ! "

" shit , shit , shit . "

He quickly cover his eyes and shifts around quickly leaves the house , he hears Demetris sorrys while Hawk laughs  and he does plan to never revisit what had happen but he will make Hawk do 50 extra push ups just for making Johnnys eyes suffer .

..... ..... .....

3 .

He loves Robby , he likes that he isnt like every kid . Robby is smart and kind with a big heart something Johnny wasnt . Although Daniel likes to remind him that Robby gets it from him and he's a good dad . He tries to be , He wants to be a good dad .

He was happy that him being with Daniel wouldnt affect Robby , Johnny was worried he would get mad but once he told him it looked like he told the kid he was giving him 10,000 dollar check .

When Daniel and him talked to Sam and Robby of the idea moving in together , Robby joked about calling Larusso dad now since they would be a family . He could tell Daniel wanted to cry from how happy that he heard those words .

Everything was almost done , mostly all his belongings were at the new house he just needed to pack his last few remaing clothes and some documents .

He does quick look around  his crappy empty aparment that he will soon leave behind , opening his door to his room he hears a noise across the other room . He brushes it off thinking is from the neighbors next door but then he hears something like if someone knocked down a vase . He quickly rushes across the room to open the door to beat the crap out of the intruder , what he sees is the opposite what he was expecting of the other side of the door .

" Robby ?! "

There was his inoccent pup in the lap of a boy on his bed , both without a shirts . He wonders how many years would he get in jail and if Daniel would go visit him .

" Dad ! What are you doing here !? "

Robby flushes , he guess it wasnt ideal to get caught by your parents .

" Im here to pick up whats left , what are you doing here with this guy , Get off his lap will you . Listen kid you got ten seconds to get out of here before Robby has to go visit me in jail . "

Robby quickly slides off  but not before handing a pillow to the guy to put on his lap .

" Dad , he's my boyfriend Doug , he's in our class re-- "

" Rickenberger ! Ok , i want you two to dress up and to step outside , Now ! . "

He didnt get a good look at first but when Robby mentioned it was his boyfriend he recognized the face of the tall kid . He tried to be menacing to scare the boy off and threaten him if he ever thought about hurting Robby . But the kid took it as a champ and did showed up for sunday dinner , and if his son is happy then he guess he will have control not to be an asshole to Doug .

....

4 .

Carmen had told him Yaya needed his help in moving a furniture at the apartment , and even gave him a spare key because she wouldnt be around because of her shifts.

Johnny loved YaYa , she was like a grandmother he never had . She always looked out after him , he was worried he wouldnt see her often now that he was living with Daniel . But soon Amanda announced her and Carmen started dating , soon Carmen , Miguel and Yaya sometimes  would join sunday dinner .

It was saturday morning and he was so comfortable with Daniel in his arms , soft sheets , nice big pillow and did he mention Daniel . It was nice morning especially from having a good night , he thinks they should have sex everynight .

He wanted to sleep more But he was a man of his word ,  well sometime when he tried , so with all his willpower he got up and showered and headed off .

Using the spare key they had given him,  he opens the door and walks in on Amanda and Carmen having some fun time in the couch , if it was another life he wouldve thought it was hot , but all he can think of right now he could've of been sleeping with Daniel .

" Shit ! Im sorry i will come back another time . "

He quickly leaves , the laughter of the two women is left behind while Johnny rushes off to his car .

..... ..... .....

+ 1 .

Nobody was home .

Only him and Daniel , Amanda and Carmen decided to take shannon to the new mall that opened , the kids wanted to go as well . Johnny was thrilled but Daniel was trying to convinced the kids to let the adults go and next time he would take them .

This was his opportunity , so he took it . Now here he was with an empty house with his babe . Johnny waits for Daniel to come out of the restroom , but he was taking way too long and he got hungry waiting for the suprise .

He went downstairs to quickly to get something to eat , opening the fridge he decides to make a sandwich .

" Johnny  , i told you to wait in the room . "

" I know , i just didnt know i was suppose to wait a year for you to come ou-- "

Closing the fridge to look at Daniel , He wasnt expecting for him to look so hot that it made him without words . Ever since he first met Daniel , his eyes were the first thing to catch his eye then his soft plump lips . His eyes were so big that it resembled Bambi , and thats what johnny calls Daniel when their alone .

One day he told Daniel he would look hot in a skirt but this was way better . Daniel had black stockings with one of his shirts that just swallowed Daniels frame and to the final touch he had a headband with antlers . Fuck that sandwich he was hungry for something else .

" You like it ? "

" I think thats an understatement , How about you come sit on my lap and let me show you how much i love it , Bambi . "

...

" Anthony stop that,  Dont bring that in ! "

Amanda yells , getting the keys out of her purse while the kids wait for her to open the door . They had to cut their day early because Anthony's friend got sick , she offered for the rest to stay at the mall but they preferred to go home . And if she knew what she was going to walk in , she would've brought out her phone to take pictures . And she only felt a little bit bad for Daniel but this was blackmail worthy .

" Oh wow , Daniel . "

Covering her sons eyes and making sure the rest eyes are closed , Johnny turns his head at their direction .

" Your back  early . "

Sam , Robby , Miguel are asking for bleach while Hawk and Demetri are laughing , Doug helps Robby go to the backyard as everyone else rushes outside to let Daniel change . Johnny thinks it was time for payback for all times they had to suffer but unfortunately Daniel wont escape Amanda's teasing any time soon .

[whatyouandihave-makesmefree]

How to say “I love you” without actually saying it - or 137 Milkovichy ways to say “I fuckin’ love Ian Clayton Gallagher”.

1. Kiss me, and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

2. I’ll meet you there in 20.

3. You say that again, I’ll rip your tongue out of your head.

4. Take your hand off the glass.

5. You wanna chit chat more or you wanna get on me?

6. Fuckin’ tough guy, huh?

7. Jesus Christ, you want us to spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?

8. Sorry, I gotta go kill your dad, but I’m doing a lot of people a favor, including you.

9. -I missed you-  You did?  -Yeah, man.-

10. So, uh, what you going down for, then, huh?

11. Don’t know what you see in that geriatric viagroid.

12. -You fuck anyone in there yet?-  God, no.  -Wise choice.-

13. Hey, my dad took my brothers on a run out of town for a couple days, so you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can.

14. Fuck you, is what you were invited to.

15. What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I’m gonna chase after you like some bitch?

16. -Don’t.-  Don’t what?  -Just…-

17. -You seen him?-  Why do you care?  -Don’t.-

18. You heard from Gallagher?

19. Not fucking Frank. The other one, the redhead.

20. I like fucking carrot-tops, like, with the freckles and the pale skin and fucking alien-looking.

21. He in trouble? What kind of trouble?

22. You wearing cologne?  -No. It’s Kenyatta’s perfume soap shit.-

23. I gotta take care of something important.

24. No, I’m not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.

25. You coming back?

26. I’ll do it.

27. Those fingers go anywhere near that cock, I’m gonna break every knuckle in your hand, all 15 of them.

28. Together.

29. That all you think he is? Some twink?

30. Probably best if you don’t, tough guy.

31. Of course we are.

32. You want me to go?  -No, I don’t want you to go.-

33. I’m not lying to you.

34. Ian, what you and I have makes me free, not what these assholes know.

35. Well, good. Leave. What the hell do I care, bitch? Fuck.

36. Hey! Excuse me! Can I get everybody’s attention, please? I just want everybody here to know I’m fucking gay. A big old ‘mo. I just thought everybody should know that. You happy now?

37. Fuck you! Don’t worry about it! I’ve been staying at Ian’s since you’ve been in the can, bitch! Guess what we’ve been doing, daddy! We’ve been fucking! And I take it! He gives it to me good and hard, and I fucking like it.

38. You’re a fucking dick. Yeah, there. That’s what you get.

39. You love him?  -Maybe. I don’t know.-  Because he has a real penis?  -Yeah, I guess.-

40. Rise and fucking shine, Cinderella.

41. Yo, sleepy-face.

42. Hey, you okay? Feeling sick or something?

43. All right, you want me to bring you back something to eat?

44. Ian, are you high? You take something?

45. Fuck’s wrong with him?

46. Before, he was fine. He was happy. He’s staying up all hours of the night, dancing, telling fucking jokes. He kicks my ass every day. I can’t keep up with him.

47. No, no, look. He– he’s low… We cheer him up.

48. What do you mean, hos– Like a psych ward? No fucking way! No fucking way! He’s staying here.

49. I can– I can take care of him. Okay? Let me take care of him until he’s better.

50. Don’t fucking tell me what’s impossible! We’re taking care of him here. You, me, us. His fucking family.

51. He’s not going to some fucking nut house. You hear me? He stays here. He’s staying with me.

52. I’ll be there.  -Better be.-

53. All right. I guess I’m going with you.

54. She’ll send him to a fucking shrink. No. We fix this ourselves.

55. I came out for you, you piece of shit.

56. What’s your type?  -Redhead.-  I am downstairs.  -Batshit crazy.-  Check.  -Packing 9 inches.-

57. I got to take you to a hospital, Ian.

58. I’m worried about you.

59. His partner. Lover? Family? You know?

60. At least he’ll be getting some kind of fucking help.

61. Relationship to the patient?  -Sister.-   -You?-  -Uh, boyfriend.-

62. Hey. Sorry I’m late.

63. We gotta get you to a fucking clinic. Get some meds. Today.

64. Hey, it’s okay. It’s all right.

65. He’s not a fucking lab rat.

66. He’s got me.

67. Hey, Ian’s sleeping in there.

68. All right, breakfast of champs. We got your mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic, anti-depressant. Gatorade.

69. Shut the fuck up. Take the pills, bitch.

70. Hey, no caffeine on your meds.

71. Eat it. Take all those pills on an empty stomach and you’re going to have diarrhea real bad.

72. I didn’t know which Bs to get, so I just got all the fucking Bs. I got B-complex, super B-complex, B-12, B-6.

73. The hell happened to your hand?

74. Did a doctor take care of that?

75. You can’t go anywhere unless you get that looked at, man.

76. Your hand, man.

77. No, no. Look, you’re not supposed to drink on lithium. It makes your blood fucking toxic, and it gets you hammered in like two seconds flat. You can’t-

78. You look like a fucking wet rat.

79. We’re going on a date.  -Fuck, yes, we are.-

80. Where the fuck are you?

81. Where the fuck you been? 

82. You okay?

83. It means we take care of each other.

84. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

85. You look good.

86. Got a new tattoo. Did it myself. Hurt like a son of a bitch.

87. Been thinking about you. You ever think of me? Gonna wait for me?

88. Will you? Wait?

89. You like the high school bleachers? Our spot, man.

90. Look, I’m, um I’m getting some new IDs, some cash, and heading to Mexico.-  Wow.  -You should come.-

91. Thought a lot about you inside. You’re under my skin, man. The fuck can I do? Hmm? Can I do?

92. Knew you’d come. 

93. Come here.

94. I’m gonna see you again?

95. The fuck you looking at?

96. It’s what kept me going in the joint. The beach. Us.

97. Oh, check it out. Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!

98. You never fucking visited me.

99. What am I leaving behind? My family? Who cares I never see those shitheads again. You had my back more than they ever did.

100. You ever think about me? When I was in the joint?

101. Fuck, I missed you.

102. What the fuck is that? I don’t want your fucking money! I want you to come with– me.

103. Don’t do this.

104. Fuck you, Gallagher.

105. I rolled on the cartel I was working for, and in exchange, guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?

106. No, I just did it ‘cause it was the right thing.

107. Would you be fucking happy?  -Yes, fuck, yes!-

108. I guess I need some advice. It’s about my partner, Ian.

109. You’re not throwing your fuckin’ parole for me. We need to get you the hell outta this shit-hole.

110. You don’t belong in here, Gallagher.

111. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.

112. FaceTime your brother. See the baby.

113. You seen Ian?

114. About time, man. Your Panda Express is getting cold.

115. Eat your Szechuan beans.

116. Chill your fucking tits and eat your noodles, man.

117. Let’s get out of here, get some Pinkberry.

118. No. No. I’m not running. I need to protect him.

119. Jesus Christ. You proposing to me over fucking patty melts?

120. Fuck it. I do.

121. When you know, you know. You know?

122. No, just saying you don’t love me enough now. And that’s fine. It’s cool.

123. Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll fucking marry you.

124. You must really love cock.  -I definitely love one.-

125. You ever try to get me to move to Milwaukee, I’ll fuckin’ murder you.

126. Hey, I like the blue ones.  -Yeah?- 

127. You sure you still wanna go through with this?  -Yes. Why?-

128. You’re a sneaky bastard.

129. -Take your meds?-  Yes.  -Good.-

130. The son of a bitch is never gonna let me be happy. He needs to die today.

131. Well, there’s plenty of strays wandering around the neighborhood. I’m sure we can pick one up for cheap.

132. Yeah, well, at least I don’t have to hide in a coffin till the sun goes down.

133. Damn straight, Gallagher.

134. I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish you till death do us part.

135. Good morning, Mr - Millagher?

136. You hungry?

137. You wanna go again?  -Absolutely.-

[dolokhoded]

javid headcanons would be super cool if ur up for that 👉👈

YES JAVID full disclosure i used to not get this dynamic at a l l but my friend loved it and it slowly grew on me and now i just uGHHH THEM

imma do high school au because i was talking abt that with said friend a couple days ago,,

AIGHT,,

JACK AND DAVEY

davey transferred to jack's school in their junior year

(along with sarah obviously but this ain't about her)

and they started out,,,,,,,,,,,,, they certainly started out :)))

they were these two kids that would always fight in history class and im rlly pissed that not all of your schools do philosophy in america bc they do here and having experienced these lessons these two would THROW HANDS during philosophy

it gets like pretty intense, they don't like,,,,, punch each other or anything but they'll like get up from their seats and everything and because this isn't the real world the teacher's just like 'hm yea discussion im not gonna stop this :)'

and they're convinced that the other hates them just bc they happened to have a history class together

so they're kind of at each other's throats at first

of course they're also kinda pushed together because al and sarah are rlly close

(i'll get more into this POWER FRIENDSHIP some other time)

and most of the guys take a liking to davey so they have to be near each other sometimes

and thEN,,,,,,

jack had taken part in this portrait competition because he loved to draw portraits it was basically all he did and at the LAST MINUTE just as he was about to sit down and start painting he was just,,,,, so out of inspiration

and he was so pissed

so he cried a little and then he just kinda let himself go and,,,,, just kinda vibe with it, let his mind help him through it

and you KNOW this bitch drew davey without even REALIZING

he's like ",,,,,,,oh no" because that's also kinda the moment he realizes he has the gay for him........ but he also has to submit something in the next like three hours and to be frank it's looking pretty amazing

so he just,,, goes ahead and submits his accidental davey portrait

and it wins first place

and obviously since it won first place davey kinda notices and he's all like

"you,,,,,,,,,,,, you drew me?"

"shit, i didn't mean to, i know this might be creepy, look, i'm sorry about it-”

“no i mean- it's actually kinda sweet”

and davey didn't stop talking about it for like a month

sarah was like oh my god would you SHUT UP

WE GET IT YOU'RE GAY

and davey has like a moment where he's like ",,,, wait im gay?"

"i mean, i know im gay, but like,,,,,,, im jack gay?"

sarah needs a break she can't deal with this she calls albert to bring her weed

and davey panics for a moment and then absolutely loses his shit and he sprints to jack's house

this is at ONE IN THE MORNING

and jack just opens the window and he's not sure if he's high on paint fumes and having hallucinations because davey's just yelling

"JACK!!!!!!! IM GAY!!!!!!!!!"

and jack's like

"i.........havent we been over this?"

but davey's just like "NO JACK,,,"

"I'M GAY." intense gesturing between them

",,,,,,,,oH, YOU'RE- YOU'RE LIKE ME GAY?"

(side note that crutchie, race, romeo and jack are medda's adopted sons in this so the other three are just like standing outside the door like "is jack literally having a stroke should we check on him?")

they kith

by some miracle it doesn't take them a billion years of miscommunication until they start dating

and like everyone saw it coming but they're also kinda like what the fuck

this happened when

although davey loves all his friends and his boyfriend,,,,,,,,,,,, he doesn't want them breaking his perfectly normal siblings

he will NOT allow jack alone with les anymore because the moment davey's gone he proceeds to teach this INNOCENT KID some QUESTIONABLE stuff

knowledge that he should NOT HAVE

one of jack's favorite davey moments is when he got a voice message from him at three in the morning being just like

"jack tell your twink brother to come collect that dumbass ginger he's encouraging my sister to shave her head.”

he laughed at that for ten minutes

we woke up race just to inform him that not only had davey just used the word 'twink' but he did it to refer to him

davey actually likes albert and doesn't really care if sarah shaved her head he just wanted them to shut the fuck up so he could sleep

jack is literally the definition of "aw babe you had a crush on me? that's embarrassing"

he's lucky davey loves him otherwise he would be so done with his crap