#it makes me want to cry but it doesn't make me emotional per say? it makes me. lament the future of. yeah. the future

[astrxealis]

i love elidibus so much it is unreal

[leclercsbunny]

maybe if you loved me ♡ c. sainz

part five ♡ masterlist

anasainzvdec posted a story 12m ago

blanca watches you convene with ana animatedly, nodding and laughing along with the both of you as per usual, though she held an air of reservation and restraint, being deep in thought.

"sorry, i have an urge to use the restroom again." you sheepishly cut through her story.

"again? your bladder's gotten small or something?" ana comments amusedly.

"let me go with you." blanca stands up from her seat, making a face. "i think the oj got to me aswell." you gestured towards her smugly, as if to tell ana; look, i'm not alone in my struggles.

"fine, but hurry back." she playfully rolls her eyes.

blanca hooks her arm around yours, and you both depart to the restroom. you made small talk on the way, and went to do your business separately.

when you left the stall to wash your hands, blanca was already there. she looked as if she was... waiting for you. she looked serious, and somehow, bothered.

"is everything alright?" you ask her, feeling your heart drop.

"i say this out of the love i have for you and carlos." blanca utters slowly, watching your expression change. "but does he know?"

"i don't know what you're talking about, blanca." you wave her off, suddenly turning defensive.

"i'm sorry if i'm overstepping... but i cannot help but notice all these, very subtle tells." she says softly, not wanting you to get agitated. "you're suddenly queasy when it comes to certain foods, and you're drawn to sweets. like, crazy partial to them. you use the bathroom often, your waist is just.." she measures it with her hand. "and i think we've cultivated a friendship comfortable enough for a brazen comment about the evident size of your... nether regions."

"blanca," you hiss, feeling your cheeks warm with both embarassment and indignance, as you cover your body from her all knowing gaze. "i don't like what you're implying."

"and you didn't drink coffee. you need your coffee, you're like a.." she sniffles, suddenly finding it difficult to maintain her own composure, "fish when you drink those latte's."

"why are you crying?" you push her shoulders, feeling your own nose itch from the buildup of emotions threatening to just spill and topple the both of you. "this is your own freaking fault that we're having this conversation. be woman enough to finish it."

"you're pregnant." she said it with certainty, eyes welling up with tears, she didn't know wether from happiness or sadness. maybe both. it was supposed to be a joyful moment, one which had been your dream for such a long time. but instead your eyes were both red from the complexities of your current emotions, the information tainted with the knowledge of your current realities. "how far long?" she asks.

"still not sure." you rectify with a broken voice, wiping your tears away. "i took some pt, but i've been delaying the blood tests."

"makes sense," blanca reaches out to grasp your shaky hands, "what do you plan to do?"

"i don't know." you reply honestly. "i can only ever think about matteo, and.. and..." you shake your head resolutely, "i don't want anything to change with him."

"things are going to change, but it doesn't always mean a bad one." she tells you, "i know you're at odds with carlos, but— will you tell him?"

you shake your head, "he doesn't need to know." yet even you found it hard to believe.

"he's the father, y/n." blanca reminds you softly, "i know he's done something horrible, and there's no reason to his actions.... but it will crush him."

"he has a very fickle sense of loyalty, and i'm tired of waiting for him to change." you reply. "i don't need his wavering devotion in my baby's life. please understand me, blanca." you tell her pleadingly.

f1chai the carlos-yn-daniel drama bubbles over with more controversy as yn is embroiled in a shocking pregnancy scandal. spanish news outlets broke the news over the weekend, claiming the spaniard's long time, now ex girlfriend, has secretly been seeing one of the best child-rearing physician in madrid— neither carlos, nor daniel have been accompanying her, but one of the sainz' sister was discreetly pictured on one of her visits. this led many to speculate that yn is indeed with child, and have been for some time. the question of wether it is sainz's or ricciardo's have yet to be answered. the parties involved had declined to comment on this matter.

username what the fuck

username IS CARLOS A SHARP HITTER OR SOMETHING ?!?

username am not believing this until further notice

username LIES !! character defaming ones !! SUE EVERYONE !!

username LAWSUIT LAWSUIT LAWSUIT

username seriously why the fuck are people following her anyways...

username right !! she's a normal citizen and these people are all up in her business 🙄

username seriously. let the girl breathe fs

username wrong on so many levels

username this is better than any telenovalas 😭😭

username who's the daddy ? 🤨

username MAMMA MIA ??

username are we even doubting carlos... that man has a whole ass son

username just why? yn already had it good 😭😭😭

username she was running then tripped

username on sainz's lap...

username have to give it to him. well done !!

username get the bag i guess !!

username yeah 😭😭 atleast her baby daddy isn't some brokie 😭😭

username he's a cheater though

username **serial cheater

username 😭😭😭😭

[accioprocrastination]

One Day At A Time (Part 6/?)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x reader

Summary: Hangman's fiancée is hospitalised and Jake waits for her to wake up

T/W: Anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, POW, hints to torture, SA, abortion, pregnancy references, death

A/N: Sorry this got so much darker than I was expecting... Also as per I haven't proof read so ignore the grammar

Part 5 in case you missed it

Jake POV -

Jake wakes up stomach rumbling with a dead arm from clutching your hand as he sleeps. He momentarily breaks your hand hold to move his arm a bit, hoping to regain some feeling.

A consultant walks in smiling slightly at Jake as they make eye contact through the glass of the door.

"Morning." the doctor says walking in.

"Any news today?" Jake responds hopeful that you'll be coherent enough to talk to him soon.

The man proceeds to walk Jake through all of your bigger injuries - you arm and several ribs are broken; your ankle is sprained; they've operated on your shoulder to make sure it heals correctly. No haemorrhage from hitting your head but you might have a mild concussion.

"There's one other thing as well." The doctor says meeting Jake's gaze.

"I don't like that look doc, what is it?" Jake's nerves skyrocket from the doctor's obvious hesitation.

All of the colour in Jake's face drains as the doctor starts explaining to him what an ectopic pregnancy is. He shudders in repulsion as the doctor says the same thing in a slightly different way in an effort to fully express that it's not viable.

He cuts the doctor off when they start talking about treatment options. "I-I-I just need a minute." Jake says tears filling his eyes. "It's not about the abortion. I just need a minute to process that someone's done that too my Y/N." Jake tries to explain that this isn't a pro-life meltdown.

He doesn't see the doctor nod but he hears the man leave.

The second the door shuts Jake lets out a loud sob at the glimpse of what the last few years have looked like for you. He hunches over stomach clenching from worry - he knows that the minute you find that out that particular diagnosis, you're going to freak out.

Jake continues to cry he thinks back to the only other time you've been pregnant. The time that it was his kid and there were complications. Whatever bastard did this to you is going to unknowingly force you to relive that day.

Jake fruitlessly wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie then turns back to you face still wet from the tears silently falling down his cheeks. "This changes nothing with you and me sweets. I will be here every step of the way if you want me to." Jake says kissing your hand.

Having gone through a million emotions in the span of a few minutes Jake needs to step out of the room to try and let go of his rage.

*

Reader POV -

Every muscle In your body is tense in the knowledge that someone was nearby when you were trying to wake up earlier.

Wires and tubing press uncomfortably against your back. Why would they lie you over them that seems stupid?

You lie there controlling your breathing, eyes shut tightly just listening for signs of someone else.

I really don't want to open my eyes in case I'm not alone.

It's eerily quiet. All you can hear is the faint buzzing of tinnitus in your ears and a machine steadily beeping.

Okay, no one else is here, you tell yourself before gently opening your eyes. You scan the otherwise empty hospital room frowning in confusion. You're not sure whether someone was next to you or whether you dreamt that someone was in the vacant chair by your side?

There's fresh flowers and a card on the windowsill, so someone has been here.

A male nurse walks in as you try to disconnect from the machines behind you.

"Please don't do that! You're in the hospital." He says to you.

God my head is pounding.

"I got out?" you murmur in response, so drained that even talking is more of an effort than it has been recently.

"Yes you got out. You're okay." He confirms.

You nod slightly in recognition of what he just said, but mentally you completely disagree that you're okay right now.

"How's the pain on a scale from one to ten?" He questions.

Groaning in pain you shift slightly, you don't verbalise the feeling that you can only imagine is similar to being hit by a bus. Instead you ask "Can I self discharge?"

"It would be strongly against our medical advice if you were to self discharge right now. I would recommend that you stay here under observation and on the IV for a few more days." He grimaces at the prospect of you leaving this room.

"I'm not staying here." You exclaim, wincing slightly as you rip out a needle from your arm.

"Let me just go get a consultant to talk everything through with you and if you still want to leave after that, then you can." The nurse says hesitantly before jogging out of the room. I think he must be new to the role.

The door to your room opens and you suddenly understand the nurse's hesitancy as two police officers walk in.

You try to dart into an upright position to be more alert but whimper at your body's reluctance to move. The agony radiating from your left arm is unbearable. I can't imagine what sitting up would've felt like if that hadn't put my arm in this sling.

"Oh great you're awake!" The young police lady says standing pencil straight by the side of your bed ready to start questioning you.

"You're in the hospital, do you know what happened?" The guy questions you.

"What happened to Ghost?" You begin your own interrogation for answers.

"High on painkillers?" The female officer turns to the man who shakes his head.

"Was that your back seaters callsign?" He queries.

"Yeah. Is h-h-" You nod but you're cut off by the officer.

"It was instant. He wouldn't have felt anything." He answers without making you ask.

You cover your eyes with the palms of your hands fighting to regain a semblance of composure at how abysmal that news makes you feel.

The anxious ringing in your head eventually subsides and you remove your hands from your face. You're somehow still surprised to see that the officers stayed for however long it took for you to be able to fake okay.

"I need to go home." you admit quietly more to yourself than to them. You don't articulate that you just want to blanket cocoon on your sofa while Jake silently assures you that everything is going to be fine.

Your hands quiver slightly at the reality that he might not have waited for you; your home might not even be your home anymore.

Thoughts torrent your mind before you finally muster the courage to ask the room what date it is.

"April the 8th" The police lady answers.

"W-w-what year is it?" You speak up. The police man standing silently in the doorway looks horrified at the prospect that you might not know that but he interjects and answers you anyway.

"Shit." You respond in momentary disbelief that it's been that long.

I mean it felt like forever but I had convinced myself it had been a couple of months and i'll go home to everything the same.

"Jake thinks I've been dead for four years?" tears flood your eyes and your voice breaks, for the first time in years it's not from disuse.

How the fuck am I meant to go home after that amount of time?

If he hasn't moved onto someone else, surely he would've at least mourned you. If he's said goodbye to you like that how is it fair to suddenly reappear?

None of this is fucking fair.

Ghost should be here too.

*

Jake POV

Jake's heart drops to the floor as he carefully opens your room door to reveal an empty bed. From the haphazard sheets and wires flung across the room, he knows that no one has taken you into surgery without consulting him.

You're still in fight or flight mode.

He discards his unopened sandwich on the table and runs to the nurse's station.

"Room 26 - where is she?" Jake asks the guy behind the desk.

"She asked to self discharge; she's gone." he shrugs.

"She's gone?" Jake clarifies.

"Yep. If you can convince her to come back to hospital I think that would be in her best interest." He responds.

Five minutes - I was gone for five fucking minutes. Jake flings himself down the stairs, running at full speed to the exit.

He forces himself to stop when he's out of the hospital. He glances over everyone in the immediate vicinity.

You have to be here somewhere. And yet you're not here.

Where on earth would you go?

After all this time would you go home?

Home is fucking miles away - how would you get there with no phone and no money?

Jake's heart pounds in his chest as he walks to his car. He walks at a snail's pace so that he can check everyone that crosses his path isn't you.

I'll find you. I promise I'll find you.

Part 7

Masterlist

Tags:

@inthestars-underthesun

@rainy-darling

@emma8895eb

@tgmreader

@ems-alexandra

@djs8891

@els-marvelvsp

@lets-turn-and-burn

[simpxxstan]

Had this insane thought where reader and wonwoo are exes,both extremely rich people, n one day they get dragged to one of the mega rich orgies (which they never attended and never planned on attending because it wasnt their) by their friends to way to help them get back into the dating world and try meeting new people but they get separated from their friends and bump into each other and spend the next few hours having to forcefully e/o from being pulled away and flirted with byother people(while having to keep their composure) this goes on until one of them finally breaks andd they fuck the hell out of each other (dom!reader for like 5 minutes because being with ww was the only time they didn't top, they "forgot") i am so sorry if my English is bad and this makes no sense its 3 am and I like woke up in the middle of the night horny-

OH ANON this makes sense and your details were all perfect! and most importantly, thank you for sharing your thoughts w me

here's my contribution to your wonderful imagination-

warnings: NSFW (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) mild description of orgy, possible multiple sex partners, jealousy and public-ish sex, tables being broken and sex on the floor(???)

wonwoo doesn't really mind being in the orgy and he decides to take advantage of the situation so he does get into a few scenes w some people

you, on the other hand, can't stand other people getting their hands over wonwoo

it's bad enough that you broke up with him because you wanted to focus on work (and you regret it but your pride is too big to beg him to come back)

and you're aware that wonwoo must be getting intimate w someone or the other, but SEEING IT HAPPEN? different story entirely

you hardly get emotional over something as physical as sex, treating it as nothing more than sex, so you convince yourself that seeing wonwoo in this position will not affect you

as expected, you're wrong

you're equal parts mad, irritated, upset and aroused

but you can't give wonwoo the pleasure of seeing how much you want to be in place of his current partner

so you get into a scene too yourself, not to get him jealous per se (because you don't think he will get jealous), but to just get your mind off him

you're wrong again.

for approx 5 minutes you enjoy domming your partner, relishing the control

but then wonwoo steps right in and takes over

because he gets incredibly jealous and cannot ignore it from the sidelines

and then he shows you, and your partner(s) during the scene who you really belong to

"you've tested me enough, doll" he says when he flips you over and lays you down on the nearest table

and god, you let him manhandle you

because a. you've missed it, and b. you love it

you may relish having control w others but there's nothing you love more than giving up control to wonwoo because you trust him to show you a divine time

so wonwoo does

he breaks the table with such a loud creak, that everybody at the party turns to look

but somehow you can't find yourself to care

you end up fucking on the floor, over the fragments of the table

"come back to me, baby" he asks you, while stuffing you full in the best way possible

your body is already marked by him completely but he can't get enough

"come back to me because i miss you, i want you, i need you, and i belong to you"

when you cry that night, it's not because of pain, but because he's giving it to you so good, you feel yourself becoming one with him

you'd be a fool to not go back to him now because he's reminded you thorougly that you two belong together

and the night ends with your confirmation to him, because you are his and he is yours

wonwoo decides everyone's had a good enough show, so he takes you home to finish that night

the orgy becomes a good memory for y'all later on in your relationship when you taunt him and he gets jealous again, but it's all a joke because you don't want anyone lay hands on wonwoo ever again and it's a mutual feeling

[humanpurposes]

Thoughts about Aemond in episode 2 and the Greens as a dysfunctional family (spoilers).

Preemptive apologies because I feel like this is a very ranty post. At the end of the day, none of this is real, it's not that deep, but I have a lot of thoughts. I actually really liked this episode overall, it was a huge improvement from last week for me! :)

There’s something unnerving and uncomfortable about the childlike state Aemond reverts to in the brothel, the way he's curled up in the woman's lap, the way he's trying to brag that Daemon sees him as a threat. The addition of the warm milk was a bit too on the nose for me, yikes.

As we've seen with Aegon and Helaena, Aemond doesn’t get a lot of emotional support from Alicent, especially with the tensions between them after he killed Luke. She obviously cares about her children and wants to protect them. She's the only one who defended Aemond on Driftmark, she tries repeatedly to comfort Helaena, she put herself between Aegon and Meleys, but as we can clearly see, the Green faction fundamentally struggles to connect with each other. Alicent’s failure to offer emotional support to her children has trickled into their relationships with each other. That scene of her walking out on Aegon crying as a mirror of Aegon and Helaena hardly able to speak a word to each other on the staircase… pain.

Just as Otto used Alicent as a pawn for his own political advancement, Alicent's children take on their own roles, Aegon as the heir (now the King), Helaena as his Queen, Aemond as the second son, the fighter.

There's a lack of connection with his family, even with Criston Cole, the only other person Aemond seems close with, he can't fully let go of this facade, which is actually why I love his insane little smile when he talks about Alicent usurping the throne, it's like he slips into saying what he truly thinks but he's still holding back.

What we're seeing in the brothel scene is Aemond seeking intimacy in the only way he thinks he can. It's not sexual, he doesn't seem to desire this woman. He wants to voice his inner thoughts to someone who won't hold it against him.

I do question why the showrunners chose to portray Aemond's vulnerability in such an... awkward way. There are plenty of viewers who already sympathise with Aemond having seen his trauma as a child, just as there are plenty of viewers who despise him for the things he does, so what purpose does this scene really serve?

I wonder if this is an attempt on the part of the showrunners to expose the Greens as hypocrites. Aemond has his "decent men for no taste for depravity" line in 1.9, then PLOT TWIST he likes to be babied by his favourite prostitute. Aemond is my favourite fictional boy, I support him being an edgelord, twink, war criminal, but I can't take this character seriously when his nephew has just been murdered, his sister is traumatised and he's like "omg Daemon wanted to slay me in my beddd 🥰 he's so scared of me 😌😈" Actually, I find it interesting that Aemond doesn't have many moments with his family, even when Jaehaerys has just died, it makes me think that Aemond fundamentally sees himself as an outsider. Maybe he's never brought himself to trust Aegon for bullying him, he has to be protective of himself.

I think I feel a similar way to this scene as I do about every scene with Alicent and Cole. It's not unexpected per se, it seems like a logical progression in their characters and I like the idea in principle, but the execution in both instances hasn't hit the mark for me. Alicent and Cole's sex scenes have cheapened the connection that was clearly there between them in season 1, and the brothel scene to me feels unnecessary.

[weebsinstash]

Was thinking of something you said about Luci. Like him crying when he sees you coming you back to the hotel all marked up. Even better idea, him regularly spying on you using the orbs/balls from episode 6. Probably started as a way to learn more about you and make sure you're safe but quickly became something else....

Like you say him seeing you after? How about him watching you get fucked crying his eyes out and touching himself?

Like he's so upset it's not him, but he can't NOT watch and listen! He needs to see what you like so he can be perfect for you, and make sure you're safe. So what if he touches himself? How can he not when it's you he's watching and hearing? Even if it's with some sinner scum.

I misread Luci as Lucci and I was like "HOW DO Y O U KNOW I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROB LUCCI, I HAVEN'T EVEN POSTED ABOUT MY CP0 READER X LUCCI ESPIONAGE IDEA YET--"

I was thinking about Lucifer, you know, how we tend to think of him as Charlie's dad and just "the Devil" but I think we can kind of forget, he's also the Cardinal Sin of Pride, and I keep brainstorming on how he's probably INSANELY JEALOUS AND POSSESSIVE AND WOULD BE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU ALL THE TIME

Can you even imagine like. He's peeping on you getting railed by someone twice your size and that person can absolutely scoop you up and throw you around with how big they are and here's Lucifer uncomfortably reminded of how short he is. bonus points if before this you and him had an argument and you shit all over his height just to piss him off and now he's seeing you fuck some huge dude. Give him that emotional damage with the backstab buff

The thing with Lucifer is that, he's short, yeah, but like. He's also ungodly strong. I'm too lazy to link the post but people have pointed out that he literally was not even remotely phased when Adam was throwing him against a building and trying to hurt him, like actual frames of Lucifer just kinda sitting there o.o, totally unbothered. And this could go one of two ways! You could get protected and rescued by him and, he scoops you up into his arms and that makes YOU feel small (in a sexy way)

OR

you kinda like, not infantilize him per se, but you figure, since he's "this little goober" that he would never like, ACTUALLY do anything scary, but. Honey he's a grown man who wants you as a serious partner and he's extremely prideful and attached to you and you're, constantly picking other people over him 💀💀💀 you're irritating him on purpose, you're giving him sass, you're FUCKING OTHER DUDES and I can see him totally snapping, "you think I'm not serious about you?! I'll show you!!" and just, yoinks you up, snatches you away, you're magically appearing either AT THE ALTAR WITH HIM LIKE, WEDDING WITH AN ENTIRE AUDIENCE, or straight into his bed where he proceeds to show you exactly why he deserves to be your king

(Tbh I've grown a sudden uh, taste for "yandere character suddenly reveals they're gonna marry you" and I mean with a whole ass engagement ring and WEDDING especially for Lucifer and Alastor recently 😩 WAIT LUCILILI POLY WEDDING-)

Still obsessed with "i bet she doesn't even see me as a man" Lucifer vs "he definitely doesn't even see me as a woman haha I'm gross :)" Reader where little Luci Goosey finds out you're just, straight up either hating yourself or have been rejected too many times to even find yourself desirable, and the second he realizes it's not even him that's 'the problem', he's taking matters into his own hands. Like something slips out of your mouth, "why would anyone want me, I'm, I'm dorky and stupid and gross and ugly" and Lucifer is just like, "OH!!! Aw honey you just have depression :) oh golly we have so much in common--"

I also just. Really like the idea that he's basically got full control over Hell and can get in your head and know what you're thinking and feeling if he REALLY wants to. Got another ask in my drafts I'm about to get to that delves more into the idea of him and Lilith HELLA abusing their dream controlling/pocket dimension powers in a definitely not "you didn't know you had a secret second life in your dreams that was 100% real" kinda way...

[shiningfremi]

freminet headcanons + extra drabbles!

romance, personality, and tidbits!

- deep down, he always wanted to become a diving instructor. how could he keep the oceanic scenery and adventure to himself? but he believes his introverted behavior holds him back :*(

- when he becomes close to you, he will become a whole snuggle bug, and will ask to cuddle whenever you guys are alone together~!

- his room is super well decorated. a bunch of adorable stuffed animals on his bed, stunning photographs and posters on his wall, and why, penguin decor of course! he also has a plentiful amount of seashells and souvenirs from his explorations.

- freminet's love for cuddling applies to hugs as well. I already know he gives the best hugs there is! he holds you tight, and whenever you're sad and in need of comfort, he quietly listens and delicately rubs your back.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

you began to cry harder than you already were upon receiving freminet's touch.

"shh, shh.. I'm here, love. I'm here. i will stay here with you for however long you need." he promised you in a calming voice.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he gets startled quite easily. freminet is definitely not a fan when he is suddenly crept up on! lyney often surprises him in this way, being the magician he is.

- freminet has a habit of biting his nails. he even moves onto the skin.. poor thing. because of this, he lets you paint his nails at times to steer him away from the biting, and he tries his best as to not ruin the polish.

- he is very mechanically inclined. he will even make a toy just like pers for you, any animal you desire! he absolutely adores your reaction to his creations! it inspires him to keep on creating them. :)

- he absolutely LOVES sleepovers! the fun of doing skincare routines and face masks together, the glow in your eyes as he listens in on the stories you tell, and if you fall asleep first, he hums a gentle lullaby, only ever loud enough to be a whisper~

- freminet can get overwhelmed from crowds and excessive questions, and so he relies on you in certain social situations. he is also more of a sensitive person, and avoids unnecessary conflict. if you catch anyone saying something about freminet, even one negative aspect, you are on the front lines to defend him!

- his eyelashes are very long. and I mean, long. you always compliment him on how pretty they are, and when you first met him, you accidentally glanced at them for too long.. oops!

- this boy is super duper ticklish. if you even slightly brush your hand against his ticklish spots, he bursts out in laughter. you love seeing him so giggly, so you do it whenever possible! >:D

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"AHAHA!! stop, stop!" he'd roll around on the ground, making helpless attempts to run away.

"never~! your laugh is music to my ears!" you genuinely appreciated this rare break from his day to day personality.

"I- y/n- HAHAH!" freminet loved being with you, so perhaps he could allow it just this once.. goodness, how could you get him into this situation~? (≧∇≦)

🌊𓆉🐚

- he has never been caught swearing. ever. nor has he ever shown a great amount of anger towards anyone. oh no, he wouldn't dare. freminet prefers to get all of his emotions out underwater, where he cannot be heard..

- freminet is a great cook. like sir, everything you create is delicious! and of course, his favourite dishes to whip up would be some variety of seafood.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"y/n, which sauce do you think tastes better? or if you don't like them, please tell me.." he'd present to you a tiny spoonful of each, shyly inching forward.

after you take a sample of both of them, you gleefully express your opinion.

"I love them both! it would be delicious no matter what you make." you assure him.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he is very closed off. this goes back to how he feels about diving with others. he doesn't want to do a bad job, and is filled with the overwhelming fear of doing so. when you finally dive with him for the first time, he is like a completely different person. he effortlessly guides you through the depths of the sea, taking great attention to your status, your favorite sights and sea creatures, and freminet constantly checks up on you to make sure that you're comfortable.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"freminet.. you're fantastic at this! you would be an amazing guide for new divers. I loved experiencing this opportunity with you." you mention, whilst a huge smile is plastered on your face.

"a-ah, no no y/n, you flatter me. I'm much more useful as a surveyer.. there are plenty more skilled individuals out there. im really not much.." he'd sadly reply, his expression seeming awfully distant.

"i see. you may think that, freminet, but in my eyes.. you're very talented. I think you have more to offer than you may believe, so don't be so hard on yourself." you'd reply, your gaze softening.

freminet paused for a moment upon hearing your kind words. his lips formed a subtle crescent upward, and his cheeks were dusted in a deep blush.

"thank you, y/n. you have no idea how much your words truly mean to me."

🌊𓆉🐚

[avocado-writing]

hi!! ive.. gone and read so much of ur work in one sitting. its all so much to take in, IN A GOOD WAY, and i absolutely adore every single word

would u be so kind.. to bless my angst durge needs..

Durge Resist tav, was strong for all until the brain was finally defeated but now, with what she believed her only purpose/chance at redemption (brain), they can't help but feel utterly empty and,, unredeemed. They mourn all those they have robbed from this world, nameless, and countless numbers of people they robbed of the life that they were now being given the chance at living. Surely they don't deserve it(Is what they think..)

They are pathetically in love, and if they deserve anything, its to tell their special one just how much they are adored before casting themselves out of society (or taking their own life, if ur comfortable writing such things-)

Rolan, Dammon, Zevlor, maybe even Rugan if u write for that loser LMAO. just.. whoever u write for, its the tieflings i adore most ahegege

if this didnt make sense IM SORRY i havent slept in so long and sleep is not choosing me. i just crave angst, perhaps with a happy ending if u would indulge me so..!! thank u if u read this, so much!!

hi, I don't write fics about suicide, but here's the tiefling bachelors with a durge who's planning to disappear after the absolute is gone and giving them one final confession:

Dammon

senses something is wrong when you take him aside for a heart-to-heart.

it isn't that you avoid these sorts of moments per se, he just knows you only affirm your affections when something big is going to happen (you did it before you went off to fight the elder brain)

he holds your hand tightly, gets you to look him in the eye.

"I love you, no matter what, and I never want to be without you. tell me you'll be there when I wake up tomorrow. in our bed. swear it to me."

you can see the utter adoration he looks at you with, and you think: maybe you aren't so bad if a man like this can truly love you.

the next morning Dammon wakes up. you're not in bed next to him. he panics, getting to his feet - only to find you in the kitchen making breakfast.

he's never been so relieved. walks up behind you and wraps you in his arms. he loves you so dearly, and will keep on loving you until you believe yourself worthy of it.

Rolan

Rolan doesn't quite understand why you're having this great outburst, but chalks it down to emotions running high after the final battle.

says goodnight, kisses you, and heads off to his tower - he has a lot of admin to do after all.

the next morning he comes to meet you at the elfsong, only to be met with the realisation that you aren't there. he curses himself for not understanding why you were so melancholic last night.

he tracks you down. uses all of his resources to scry on you, grease palms with the money the tower has. he's up all night for weeks. Cal and Lia worry about him but he is determined.

and find you he does. manages to locate where you're hiding out, a little hamlet in the middle of nowhere. you burst into tears when you see him, and he just pulls you into his arms.

"come home with me."

you do, moving into his tower. and you never leave him again.

Zevlor

immediately knows something is wrong. takes you to a quiet place where the two of you can be alone and talk things out.

discusses how he feels like being a failure for breaking his oath -- but you always saw past that. saw the goodness in his soul. he wishes you would treat yourself with that kindness.

you begin to cry, softly at first, and then with sobs which wrack your whole body. he holds you ever so tightly.

"I love you. you are not who you were. you have strived to be better every day, fought against your own family, and always chosen a righteous path. you deserve to be happy. I'd want to make you happy, if you'd let me."

eventually your tears run dry and you look up into his face. his eyes are so sincere. he means every word.

when you kiss him, it's a promise: that you're with him for good. that whatever comes next, it will be faced together.

[jfleamont]

Hey for your jily muse, out of order <3

Okay this is unforgivable, I know. You sent this prompt over two months ago. TWO. This ask has been sitting in my inbox since the 18th of January, so you probably won't even remember sending this but I promise you I've been thinking about it constantly and waiting to have free time to work on it and I have this tendency to leave things unfinished so this is me working through that as well lol

Without further ado, here it is ❤️

Out of Order - 744 words

Evans is in the boys' bathroom. She's in the boys' bathroom and she's crying.

One of her hands is gripping the sink, while the other fruitlessly wipes the tears that keep escaping.

She hasn't noticed his arrival, and Sirius doesn't bother clearing his throat. “I'm sure there's a perfectly logical reason for this.”

She makes a startled noise and turns to face him, her expression a mixture of anger and sadness. It's comical, really, so Sirius laughs.

“There is,” she mutters as she wipes her nose with the sleeve of her jumper. Her voice lacks the edge she usually aims at him— and at James, too, though Sirius can't help but notice a slight difference there.

He walks towards her and hands her his monogrammed tissue - he's never used it for this purpose specifically, but it has proved to be useful during the occasional prank or after a rough full moon - which she grabs immediately. She doesn't thank him, but he doesn't expect her to.

“Ah well, that's all I needed to know. It's not like you're invading my personal space or something.”

She lifts an eyebrow and eyes him curiously, looking more like her usual self. “I'm sorry, is there a plaque or an inscription that I haven't noticed? Does House Black monogram bathrooms as well as tissues?”

“Not that I'm aware of, no. Don't give my mother ideas, though, she might actually try to do that.”

She makes an attempt at a smile, but it quickly turns into a quiet sob.

“Apparently there can only be one crying girl per bathroom, and Myrtle has claimed the one across the corridor as hers so it's out of order,” she explains as she tries to regain control of her emotions, “and I thought this one was empty since everyone is heading down to watch the match.”

“You were right... for the most part. Why aren't you going then?”

“No reason,” she replies, her voice even, but she's not looking at him.

Sirius thinks he knows why. He suspects it has to do with the good luck kiss that Cornelia Kettleburn gave James at breakfast and how quickly Lily disappeared after that.

“Cool. I'm not going either. Fancy going to the Astronomy tower for a smoke?”

She looks taken aback. “I— wait, why aren't you going?”

In truth Sirius wants to go, and James is going to kill him for this, but lately he's been claiming that he no longer has feelings for Lily, and Sirius hates being lied to, so technically this is just payback.

“James got on my nerves so I'm skipping the match in protest,” he adds with a shrug and it's the truth, because it wouldn't be fair to lie. “So, are we smoking or not? Got a fag I can borrow?”

She's not an idiot: she knows this is an olive branch of sorts. Sirius can tell she's deciding whether to believe him or not; after a moment she sighs, and Sirius knows he's won.

“Haven't you got your own? Merlin, you're cheap,” she says while producing a pack of cigarettes from her satchel and handing it to him, a smirk on her face. He's glad to see that she seems to have calmed down significantly.

“I'm trying to quit so I stopped carrying them around,” he replies and grabs one, putting it in the breast pocket of his vest.

“Looks like it's working,” she notes as she fixes her appearance in front of the mirror and readies herself to leave the room.

“Absolutely.”

“Why are you mad at Potter anyway? Thought you two were inseparable,” she asks as she walks towards the door, a step ahead of him so that he can't see her face.

“Can't tell you, it's a secret.”

She huffs. “You lot are starting to sound ridiculous with all these secrets,” she whips her head towards him, her disapproval clear on her face, though he's almost certain this is just another way of disguising her curiosity. “Is this little group of yours a cult or something?”

“It's a counterculture,” he explains as he exits the bathroom, “how else are we going to beat those bigoted dickheads? The only way to fight a cult is with another cult.”

He's just joking, but the idea doesn't sound half bad to his ears.

Apparently Lily disagrees, because she snorts. Loudly. “Not sure about that logic but you do you, I guess.”

“Thanks for the support.”

“Anytime, Black.”

[knickynoo]

Well, I was sufficiently enabled for the idea, so here it is: ✨Alex P. Keaton's Top Neurodivergent Moments��

The funny thing is that the amount of time I put into scrolling through my encyclopedic mental inventory of Family Ties scenes, compiling these moments in a list, making gifs, and finding past gifsets/analysis to link back to makes creating this post one of my most neurodivergent moments. Good for me.

These will be organized by season (easier for me than trying to rank on a scale) and are in no way ALL of the moments. I'd need like...15 posts for that. Also, tumblr only allows 30 images/gifs per post, so I'm going to include links to past posts when possible.

ENJOY!

• Alex gets his first-ever failing grade and immediately decides to quit school

Exactly what it says. Alex strolls into college all bright-eyed and confident and ends up a broken shell of a guy just a week or so later. The prototypical Gifted Kid from the moment he learned to speak, Alex cannot handle anything less than perfection. Getting the first F of his life shatters his entire self-image, and he wants to drop out of college entirely.

• Alex's friend Doug announces he's getting married, and Alex spirals into despair. As one does.

The entirety of the "Best Man" episode is one big Alex displaying neurodivergent behaviors moment, honestly. There are a whole lot of Alex-centered plots that are set into motion because A Change happens, and he just cannot deal with it, and this is one of the best examples. Alex is so distraught at the suddenly altered dynamic that he wanders the house like a lost soul—sad and confused and needy. He walks in on Steven's shower just to give him a hug, offers to go shopping with Mal and play dolls with Jen, and also draws up a seven-year contract for his other friends to sign to ensure they stick to their regularly scheduled card games, lest they also run off to get married and destroy his life.

• Alex P. Keaton: child development expert

When faced with the news of another sibling on the way, Alex has some very nurturing advice at the ready for when the baby is crying.

• The Keatons all laugh at a funny story. Alex is not amused.

This is one of my favorite Alex scenes of the series. Uncle Rob shares a memory of the time Steven was young and got in trouble because he started rebelling against the system and refused to write his name in the designated spot on his school test papers. The family shares a hearty laugh. Alex, king of black-and-white thinking and lover of rules, is deeply upset.

I love him so much. He genuinely cannot see how they're enjoying such a story. The Name Spot is for names. And his father dared to write in the Not For Names Spot?? Jail for Steven.

He's so ridiculously autistic.

• Alex's favorite childhood toy

It was a cardboard box. I can't quite put into words why this sets off my ND radar, but it does. Maybe it's the being attached to unusual items thing that's common with autism? The intense fixations that make other people go ????

The Alex and Ba-ba plotline provides some wonderful Alex Lore.

• Mr. Mustache

Yeah, those intense fixations? In the "Fool for Love" episode, Alex grows a mustache and legitimately cannot speak about anything else for the several days that follow. He's asked to present a speech at Mallory's homecoming dance and centers his entire speech around his mustache. He's unable to have a conversation that doesn't involve mustaches. It's incredible.

• Everything in "Matchmaker"

Alex is so sweet in this one. After Mallory comes home crying after a bad date, Alex promises to help her find a great guy. Unfortunately, putting someone who struggles socially and with processing emotions in charge of your love life isn't exactly a great fit. Alex uses the power of science to craft a formula to find Mallory's perfect match (he isn't), then tags along on their date and helps foster a very natural environment (it isn't) for the relationship to flourish (it doesn't).

The episode ends with a great scene between Alex and Mallory that shows just how well Mal understands the inner-workings of her big brother's head.

• Divorce is tough. Alex has some advice.

The Keaton kids are shocked to learn that their Uncle Rob is divorcing their Aunt Maureen. As Jen and Mallory reel from the information, Alex helps to reframe things.

He then pulls out the Special Interest Card and compares the divorce of their aunt and uncle to a "failed merger, not unlike the breakup of the phone company—although obviously less emotional. Nothing more than a natural fluctuation in the marketplace of love and marriage."

And the thing is, he IS impacted by the news. He just hasn't the slightest clue how to actually process it. So, a simple failed merger it is!

• You had one job

Mallory needs some croissants for a fancy get-together she's having with her poetry class. Alex helpfully offers to go pick them up.

Now, I debated about this one because there's part of me that's like, "Hmm, did Alex purposely do this to annoy Mallory?" Is this just a jerk move? But you know what? It stays on the list because the whole "I personally don't like this thing and struggle to see how anyone else could. Therefore, I will get the thing I like" is (for me) a relatable aspect of being ND.

• Every single second of "A, My Name is Alex"

For real, though. This episode is a deep dive into how Alex became the person he is, and it is FILLED with "flashbacks" of an intensely neurodivergent child whose issues were made worse by the people around him. (Mostly teachers and peers. Steven and Elyse did their best with him, but I do also have some critiques of the way they parented him). Anyway, he represses his emotions to the point of a meltdown

And then there's this

Full coin gifset here. Also, I made posts on the full episode, which can be found here and here.

• "Alex has a weird body"

That's Mallory's explanation to Andy as to why Alex can't help her when she needs someone to model one of her latest clothing creations. She says Alex's head is too big for his body, and those words, unfortunately, find their way back to him. In a mini plot reminiscent of the mustache one, Alex proceeds to obsess over the comment.

And I mean, I think being told your head is too big for your body would make anyone insecure, but it's the way Alex handles it. He's unable to have regular conversations for a while because he can't stop fixating on the size of his noggin'.

Both of the "Read it and Weep" episodes fit in this list, to be honest

• An accurate statement by Lauren

I've got to include this because it really does neatly condense a lot of who Alex is

So true, bestie.

And then, to wrap this whole thing up, there's all of this

And this is just what I can fit in this here post without going over the limit lol. Obsessed with the way MJF played Alex.

Thanks for reading ✌️

This is me with Alex, btw

[beeloovedd]

Earth emotions

Tw!: Crying, overthinking, pronoun confusion, gender dysphoria, Newly summoned Phantom, I was listening to Mitski while writing this so yea

Credits to @wrathofrats for the dividers as always <3

🫶

Phantom whines quietly as he looks at himself in the mirror

He thinks maybe he's just going crazy, maybe he did something wrong, maybe he's broken?

Everytime he hears someone always say "he" or "him" when referring to him it makes him feel weird

He doesn't like it

Well, he doesn't hate it but constantly hearing he and him is getting old and doesn't feel right

He tried to tell Swiss but Swiss said he's probably just sick and explained to him what earth sickness are, that was scary

But the miscommunication may have been a bit on Phantoms part since he only told Swiss that he didn't feel good

Swiss just told him to go get some rest and he'd ask Mountain to bring him some tea for him and Phantom when he finished restringing the guitar

He tried to find the words to explain that he didn't like being called he or him that much but his brain was running at 100 miles per hour and his words? Not so fast

Phantom wipes his eyes as they water

He's a little bit familiar with the water coming out of his eyes or crying as they call it apparently

But last time he cried it was from happy tears after Cumulus crocheted him a small bat stuffed animal on the tour bus

But these tears felt different, not happy

More salty and bad feeling

He didn't like it but doesn't know what to do, he's supposed to be resting

He sniffles and takes a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom and laying on the bed

He holds the crocheted bat tightly to his chest as an attempt to muffle his crying

He hears the door open and he curls up more under the blanket, wanting to just disappear

"Swiss told me you weren't feeling goo- Hey you ok?" Mountain says as he carefully sets down the two glasses of tea in the bedside table and sits on the bed

Phantom whimpers quietly, not trying too but it slips out accidentally

"here, I'm gonna carefully lower the blanket, ok?" Mountain says, putting his hands on the edge of the blanket but waiting for approval

Phantom sniffles but nods and Mountain pulls off the covers

Mountains eyes soften at the sight and he gently runs a hand through phantoms hair

Phantom wipes his eyes, embarrassed yet thankful the comfort

"what's wrong bug?" Mountain says gently

Phantom looks up at him with glossy eyes, holding on to the bat plush tightly

"there's something wrong with me Mount" he says quietly, his voice breaking slightly

Mountain hums quietly. Concerned and confused as he continues to pet Phantom's hair

"There's nothing wrong with you Phantom, Swiss said you were feeling sick, is that what you mean?" Mountain asks, a bit more concerned now

Phantom sniffles

"no!" He says a bit louder

Mountain flinches and his hand pulls back. Not expecting the sudden raise of tone

Phantom also jerks back, not expecting his own tone changing

His eyes get watery and he hides his face in the stuffed animal

"i-im sorry" he says quietly

He sniffles and his mind yells at him again

"Am I broken M-Mountain?" He asks as tears begin to fall

Mountain's heart breaks and he rests a hand on Phantom's shoulder

"your not broken Phantom"

Phantom sniffles and shakes his head

"I think I am" he says as more tears fall

"Come here, bug" Mountain says as he opens his arms

Phantom looks up at him then hesitates before flying into his arms

He hides in the crook of his neck, continuing to cry

Mountain hugs him tightly, hands rubbing and tracing shapes on his back soothingly

After waiting patiently for a few minutes Phantom's sobs start to calm down

"im sorry" Phantom says quietly

"it's ok" Mountain says, kissing his head

He waits a few more minutes to calm down before talking again

Phantom takes a deep breath before speaking again

"Mountain?" He says quietly

"Yea bug?" Mountain says, running a hand up and down his back again

"feelings on earth are confusing" he says as he hides more in his neck

Mountain chuckles

"that they are" he says with a smile

"do you ever not like he?" Phantom asks hoping Mountain will understand him, though knowing he doesn't really make much sense

"What do you mean Hun?" Mountain asks, a bit confused but waiting so he can part the words together

"like.. Everytime someone says "he" or "his" when talking about me. It feels.. icky" he says quietly, his words not coming out fully and wanting to just curl up and disappear again for a bit

Mountain hums quietly to think and soothe Phantom's nerves

"Oh? Would you rather be called she? Or they? Or something else?" Mountain asks, getting the idea of where this is going

"is.. all of it possible? But with he sometimes?" Phantom says, very thankful that Mountain is understanding it

"Yea! you tell me what you wanna be called and If you want people to say she or they or he when talking about you. We can go tell them, ok?" Mountain says with a gentle smile

"is that allowed?" Phantom asks with small hint of hesitation

Mountain chuckles and runs a hand through his hair

"Yea it's allowed bug"

"Really?" Phantom asks with a small smile now creeping up on his lips

"yep! You know how Rain goes by they and them sometimes? That's perfectly fine"

Phantom just thought that's how they just were, he didn't know that they most likely went through this too

Phantom smiles and pulls away a bit to look at Mountain

"then.. can I be a he, a they and a she?"

Mountain smiles

"yup!" He says as he gently taps Phantom's nose

Phantom laughs and smiles

"Oh and here, I brought you some tea, we'll have to tell Swiss about the miscommunication" Mountain says with a laugh

"thank you" Phantom says then hugs mountain quickly before taking the tea and taking a sip

Earth emotions are confusing and scary at times

But in the end everything will be alright

🫶

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: Last Place

37. ISRAEL Eden Golan - "Hurricane" 5th place

Decade Ranking: 150/153 [Above Noa Kirel, below Roxen]

Where do we start?

Let's begin, perhaps by stating the obvious. Israel's participation in this year ruined the contest. You encounter an entrant or two that completely warp the meta around them at every contest, but never to an extent this cataclysmic. Every sour note of this contest, and there were plenty, sprouted from the decision to allow Israel into the year. That was the tipping point. I believe that makes "Hurricane" the worst entry of all times in terms of the sheer negative impact its presence had on the edition it parttook in.

The ESC discourse -on asocial media- completely revolved around the conflict in Palestine either to denounce the war crimes perpetrated by the Israeli goverment and the subsequent silencing of critical voices calling it out, or to make a stand against the Poor Young Girl who was unfairly maligned by radicalized leftists for a conflict she had no hand in.

So was it any surprise that Israel won every Western televote? Be honest. I know that the Twitter manchildren claim Israel cheated, but they are in denial. The televote was genuine. The scalpel slices both ways, sadly. For every heckler booing Eden or protesting for Palestine or announcing a Eurovision boycot or lecturing the general public to not vote for Israel, a sympathy vote for her arises because "Aw She Doesn't Deserve So Much Negativity, Poor Thing". That she willingly chose to rep israel at THIS time with THAT song is blissfully ignored. Eden Golan is not a child. She's fully accountable for the effects that her participation caused, and is perfectly a-OK with it.

So, wake the fuck up. The sympathizing nutcases were OPENLY mobilizing to vote for Israel without even watching a second of the contest, to prove a point against you know, "insane leftist wokery" or whatever they call it. "You can't make me think what you want or do what you want, TAKE THAT". It's the same principle that led to Brexit and Trump beating Clinton. Similarly, they attempted to hijack the results like a particularly nasty species of asian hornet because their 'Freedom of Speech' is more important to them than fair results in an entertainment show, or a potential genocide. Or maybe they were just indoctrinated. A smaller sample size due to boycots + 20 votes per crazed zionist, it's honestly a miracle Croatia STILL beat them in the TV overall.

In other words, pretty much every opinion about Eden revolved around the politics that accompanied the flag she flew under.

And I'm sorry, but Eurovision is not supposed to be about Israel. Why should THAT country get more attention, or even preferential treatment in this otherwise excellent line-up? That's not what it should be about.

It is THEM who it should be about:

None of these artists asked to be a part of this shambolic display. So in that sense, let's do something many have FAILED. Let's do what we're supposed to dp: Discuss the SONG, outside of context.

Frankly, there's remarkably little to say. Even without the context, "Hurricane" would have been bottom of the barrel for me regardless? It's a mediocre sappy ballad aimed to Make People Cry. We see such ballads pop up all the time in NFs (most recently Krick in Luxembourg and Noble in Portugal), where -more often than not- their sucktitude catches up with them and manifests a loss.

I've seen people be outraged that Norway's jury gave it points but I mean, look at any recent scandi NF and tell me a Hurricane wouldn't fit within its ranks. It's Undo, What if, A Monster Like Me, all the tacky soulless ballads with poor narratives preying on the soft-hearted and the guillible with cheap emotional manip. "Hurricane"was cut from the same dementor-esque, sympathy-craving cloth. Call me old fashioned, but I was taught that sympathy requires a modicum of respect, which needs to be earned, not begged for like a dog's dinner. (I hope the Europapa fans are reading this because this also applies to him, and that ghastly outro). If your song was written with the idea in mind of pinkwashing the deaths of a few thousand children, then perhaps you may have not fully earned the benefit of the doubt, jussaying.~

In terms of performance, Eden was vocally good, at least. It's her voice that carries it although i don't find her particularly likeable as a lead. Then again, she is a Russian nepo brat whose family emigrated to Israel after the Ukrainian war so that her daddy to secure his financial assets and the Golans could continue their lavish, privileged lifestyle in a safer country. It was always a challenge, so to say, to consider Eden Golan a likeable individual.

Also what is UP with the choreography? Why do the dancers look like they are loading air rifles? A Choice, to say the least.

So all in all, a pretty weak entry that always would have been in my bottom 3 for any country, but that probably had a ceiling of lower top 10 in a normal, generic year of ESC.

However, this was NOT a generic ESC. There's NO imagining "Hurricane" without its context which makes it so, SO much worse. It was specifically written in support of the Israeli victims in the war (why go through that trouble and not simply withdraw and spend the participation fee on providing for the families of the hostages? Isn't that more effective charity? But hey, what do I know.) There is no "depoliticizing", no matter how often you retcon the lyrics into gibberish. Hurricane's intentions are present in its rhythm, its instrumentation, the keys in which it is sung. The notion that you can separate it from its context is absurd.

And yet, that is precisely what the EBU were hoping for when they allowed it in, and it exploded into their face like a firework. I can't say they didn't deserve it. Ultimately, the full blame for all of this rests with them. If a certain entity threatens the integrity of your being, you get rid of the threat. You don't passively sit back crossing your fingers they leave at their own volition. The Israeli's would understand the reasons for exclusion, surely, as they've been applying the exact same principles to the Gaza Strip since mid October.

The EBU allowed them in, officially to prove Eurovision wasn't political and United By Music (in reality because they're cowards and didn't want to be the first organization to ban Israel from an international event, and be branded antisemites as a result). The result was the most politically charged and divisive contest of all time, rife with incidents that were as avoidable as they were outrageous. It couldn't have been further away from "apolitical unity" if it tried.

Hurricane was NEVER worth the price of admission. All the controversy, the security risks, the boycots, the antisemitism and xenophobia, the censorship, the harrassment of other delegations (which the Israeli delegation EAGERLY participated in) and of course the Israeli embassies in participating countries OPENLY advocating to vote for Israel as "a signal". Even the tensions that led to Joost's dubious DQ which I doubt would have happened at any other contest. This could all have been foreseen and avoided by excluding the country that clearly would have brought the contest into disrepute. Eurovision is now on life support. Congratulations EBU. You KILLED your own contest.

It briefly looked like Israel could win (leave to RAI to be woefully incompetent and blasé), which would have been the final nail in Eurovision's coffin but then they magically lost the televote (thank you SO much Eastern Europe, you are SO real for this) and stranded themselves in 5th place. Instead of being the Worst Winner of All Time, Israel are merely a mediocre also-ran, which I can live with. It makes "Hurricane"' marginally less appalling than "Unicorn" and "I.M" for me. Let their fifth place serve as a grim reminder for future editions that Hatred Breeds Hatred, and also, thankfully, that Love Can indeed Prevail.

THE RANKING

[moongirlcleo]

Rogue x Reader

summary: Rogue who goes absolutely feral on Fairy Tail! Reader, got her eyes rolling to the back of her head, tears spillin, hearts in her eyes, and her buttoned shirt torn, Rogue who's hips just can't stop until she's failing to stay on her knees, and them failing to keep quiet but Reader plays her music to keep their sounds somewhat covered but like it's failing because Lucy walks in on them, but Rogue doesn't care enough to stop, and Reader is just blind to Lucy being there. CW: smut as per usual, walk-in, slight over stimulation A/N: Rogue is getting so much love this poor boy bout to be exhausted

"Keep making those sounds baby girl, you're so good f'me," Rogue says, the lewd sounds of slick-covered skin slapping against each other echoing through your room. You can't help it- his words cause you to moan louder. Rogue rewards you with a finger to your puffy, swollen clit as you squirm from all the bliss. It was always amazing whenever Rogue came to visit you, but this time was different. It was more... emotional. Your anniversary came and went while you were on a mission with your team, and it seems like Rogue was wasting no time on making up for it. You had barely walked through your door before he had you on your back, your blouse torn to shreds and his lips making such beautiful, dark marks all over your chest. You lost count how many times he's had you orgasm today. Three? Four? No.. five? By now, your tears stained your face from the overstimulation as his cock pushes inside you slowly once more. "You can hang on for another round, can't you baby?" Rogue coos as his starts thrusting. You mewl in reply, feeling absolute bliss as his tip kisses the top of your g-spot. "Rogue... so .. so good. So much," you feel yourself drawl, letting your nails sink into the plush of his waist. He growls softly in response, pushing deeper into those gummy walls he loves so much. Before you have the thought to react, Rogue has you up on your hands and knees, and pushing into you once more as he starts going absolutely feral on you. You're seeing stars at this point, the tension building in your lower stomach once again. You moan loudly in response, not even caring to try and stay quieter than the music you had playing. "You feel fucking amazing," Rogue pants into your ear, nibbling the soft flesh just below. "I missed you, you know that? Gonna mmf- gonna make you cum for all the days I haven't seen you." His hips snap, the sound of skin on skin getting louder once more.

Your umpteenth orgasm rips through you once more, as you cry out Rogue's name. You're so fucked out that you didn't even notice your knees buckle to the point you're on your belly. Either Rogue doesn't notice, or he doesn't care because he's still thrusting, over stimming you once more. "Hey, yn, I have the thing you asked for- ohmygodI'msosorry." The voice of your best friend, Lucy, cries through the air as she opens the door to your room and witnesses the act. "I um.. sorry," you mutter sheepishly as she shuts the door once more with a quickness to rival Jet. "You realize Lucy just walked in on us, right?" You whisper to Rogue, who's chasing his own orgasm at this point. As he spills his white hot seed into you, he pants. "Yeah, I didn't care. I was too close, and you looked too fucking perfect with that blush. It's almost enough to make me want to go again."

[bookworm-center]

Hey! Idk if you’re still accepting requests for one shots but here it goes

Y/N was one of the crows for some time now and to everyone she always seemed happy or unfazed by the bad things.

She usually goes to the roof right in front of Kaz’s door and just sings her heart out and this time she sang her own song (The pretender by Lewis Capaldi) what she didn’t know was Kaz was listening from his desk

And maybe some fluff after she sees him? Idk

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Fake A Smile

In which one of the Crows is not as happy and carefree as she seems.

Author's Note: Oh I am so down to do this! I am still accepting requests, I just might be a little slower than I was before. I did kinda change your request, I hope it still works. I made the lyric lines smaller since I put a lot of them. Yeah, it's sorta long cause I got carried away... So sorry this took forever!

I will be your shoulder to cry on

I will make you laugh if you need

I will play the part if you say so

Yeah, I'll be anybody but me

There's a smile plastered on Y/n's face. It's so obviously fake to anyone really paying attention, but no one notices. Not the pigeons, going about their day, not the Dregs, scamming those poor pigeons, not even the Crows, her closest friends. Kaz Brekker doesn't even notice, despite taking pride in his attention to detail. She laughs along to Jesper's jokes, however bad they are, lends a shoulder to those in pain. She plays the role of a happy, carefree Crow so perfectly that even her friends don't see through her act.

To tell you the truth, I'm a mess, I'm a fool

You don't know that

And you never will

In my mind, it's instilled not to show that

It's funny that Y/n can be so happy and kind in Ketterdam, the home of the cruel. It's funny that inside she's crumbling apart and can't risk anyone knowing. Ketterdam has engraved its cruelty into her mind, and she refused to let anyone see. Brokenness in the Barrel means weakness and Y/n wouldn't allow herself to be seen as weak.

I spend almost all of my time

Feeling like I'm falling even further behind

And I know I'm so good at seeming

Like I'm not on the edge of a knife

I'm the pretender, what can I tell ya?

Designed to deceive

So tell me who you want me to be

Thoughts circle around Y/n's head as she climbs up to the roof of the Slat. She's not Inej-sneaky, though it doesn't really matter since she's not the Wraith for a reason. Y/n's a Crow, no doubt about that, but she wasn't skilled like them. She wasn't a Grisha, wasn't a sharpshooter, wasn't druskelle. She wasn't the Wraith, wasn't a demo expert and definitely wasn't Dirtyhands. She was just... Y/n L/n. She was the ordinary in a group of extraordinary, the touch of reality to their magical fantasy.

I can wear a million faces

'Cause I don't like the one underneath

Always found it easy to fake it

Yeah, I'll be anybody but me

It takes her a little while but Y/n finally reaches the roof, and then and only then does she tear away her facade. Tears stream down her cheeks, her sobs coming loud and unbidden and all she can do is sit there and cry. Then, once the tears aren't so bad anymore, she starts singing. The words she sings are shaky and her voice cracks between every few words, but right now it doesn't matter because right now she doesn't have to be perfect. Right now, she just needs to get her emotions out in the form of the song that's been cultivating in her mind for that last few months.

To tell you the truth, I'm the fraud in the room

And I know that

But you never will

In my mind, it's instilled not to show that

Kaz hears something from the roof. As per usual, it's Y/n singing. Kaz redirects his attention back to his work but then notices the difference in Y/n's voice. It's not the usual cheery song or Kerch working tune or even an old Ravkan song Nina had taught her. This song is filled with so much heartfelt emotion and sadness and pain that Kaz can't help but listen closer. After all, he may be the Bastard of the Barrel, but he's just a man, just a human whose heart aches for the person he loves.

I spend almost all of my time

Feeling like I'm falling even further behind

And I know I'm so good at seeming

Like I'm not on the edge of a knife

I feel like everything I do is a lie

And all the words just further pull the wool over eyes

I know I'm no good at being who I am away from the light

I'm the pretender, what can I tell ya?

Designed to deceive

So tell me who you want me to be

The door to the roof slams open. Y/n quickly cuts herself off, brushes away her tears and stands. She can already tell who it is by the rap of their cane but she needs a couple of seconds to collect herself. Kaz stops beside her, looking out at the horizon rather than at her.

"Kaz! Wasn't expecting to see you here!" Y/n turns her head away, just to make sure Kaz can't see any lingering tears. "Is there a new job you need me for?" The question hangs in the air. Kaz doesn't answer, doesn't even look her way. "Kaz?"

"That song. It's a new one isn't it?" He noticed her singing. It wasn't like she'd been singing quietly, but she hadn't thought he would notice. A new one? He must have been listening every time she'd come up here and she didn't even know. Maybe he had been paying closer attention than she gave him credit for... "Y/n. What's going on?"

It takes everything Kaz has for him to even ask the question and this time Y/n is the one who doesn't answer. How can she, when this is Kaz Brekker she's talking to? Kaz Brekker, the heartless Bastard of the Barrel, the infamous Dirtyhands? He wouldn't understand.

"Y/n. Answer me."

"Why?" Y/n can't help her outburst. She's been bottling this up for far too long. "Why does it matter?"

Kaz may be good with negotiations, but he's terrible at anything emotional. "I protect my investments."

Y/n scoffs. It's so unlike the Y/n Kaz is used to, but he honestly doesn't care because at least now she isn't hiding behind a mask. "Is that all I am to you? An investment?" She almost starts to walk off when Kaz's cane blocks her path.

"You're an investment." Before Y/n can interrupt in a fit of fury, he continues talking. "To the stock market, an investment is more valuable than a treasure. To the stock market, an investment is something that keeps rising in value. To the stock market, an investment is something that means the world to them. Without an investment, the stock market would crash and burn." With every word Kaz says, every word that is practically a confession of love from his mouth, Y/n steps closer until she's in front of him.

She doesn't move too close, she knows that he isn't good with touch, but she's close enough that she can see the little golden flecks in his coffee brown eyes, close enough that she can see his lips curl into a just-barely smile. "I get the feeling we aren't talking about the actual stock market." Y/n whispers.

"No. We aren't." And to both of them, that's as close of a confession as they are going to get.

And no, this doesn't heal the hurt in either of their hearts, it doesn't make Jordie any less dead or Ketterdam any kinder, but at least now they have a little place of safety. At least now they have a place where they don't have to pretend, where they don't have to fake strength or fake a smile.

[garf-lover96]

Vesuvia Weekly; How to Cry (Rowan and Julian)

so this is basically just a bunch of rambles about their crying mannerisms, in a form of two short fics. Julian's section is a little heavy and Rowan's is lighthearted, to make it balanced i guess...... i think i barely breached 1k words on this one!!

———

Julian

Julian makes an effort not to cry too often. Save for some circumstances when it's something he knows is easily fixable or he will be able to get over it quickly. A few tears shed here or there, it's not that big of a deal. Unless it's something more serious.

Even though he's learning that it's fine to ask for help when he needs it, it still doesn't feel entirely right for him to just let himself cry and let Rowan see it. So he'll bottle it up, go about his day, try to distract himself, until he cracks and melts into a sad little puddle of tears and choked up sobs. There's no hiding it then. Unfortunately Rowan is terribly inexperienced with comforting crying people...

The first time those abilities are put to test is when Julian returns home with an off looking strained smile. The greeting kiss on Rowan's forehead seems a little shorter and he doesn't even start talking about his day right after crossing the doorway. Rowan tries to ask if something happened a few times but ultimately decides not to pry. He trusts Julian to talk about it when he's ready. So he lets it go for a longer while, until it's time to sit down for dinner.

"I'm really not that hungry, dear." Julian says with a small, awkward smile, sitting down at the table anyway.

"Why? Did you eat at work?" Rowan asks curiously, not turning his eyes away from the stove, still needing to make some finishing touches to the food.

"No, Rowan, I..."

He doesn't even manage to finish his sentence before tears start flowing out of his eyes. He trembles and covers his eyes with his hands. Rowan whips his head around, freezing for a short moment, even though he had a hunch it was coming. After a quick deep breath, he approaches the crying doctor, who's already mumbling small apologies about breaking down like that in front of Rowan. He gently pulls his hands away from his face.

"Hey, hey, talk to me, please. What happened, Julian?"

Able to give only a barely comprehensive answer, Julian starts muttering something about how he lost a patient, which makes Rowan's heart sink. He pulls a chair over so he can sit next to him and pulls him into an embrace, not sure if he should even say anything. Julian melts into the hug, continuing to rant softly about his horrible day, getting Rowan's shoulder soaking wet with his tears. Rowan just listens as best as he can while running his fingers through Julian's hair slowly, in an attempt to provide any comfort.

By the time he manages to calm down, the food goes cold and Malak gets back from his evening freeflying time with Bluebell so Julian gets a whole entourage fussing over him. After a longer moment Rowan convinces him to at least have a little snack before they all haul him to bed. Wanting to make up for all the awkward silence earlier, Rowan cuddles up to Julian and asks him if he needs anything until they manage to fall asleep, while both birds preen Julian's hair until they can't feel their beaks anymore...

Rowan

Rowan gets the need to cry a lot more often than he'd like to. Whether he's especially frustrated, tired, angry, happy or just plain sad, chance is he'll end up having to just curl up into a ball and weep it out. He doesn't find it embarrassing per say, just a bit inconvenient.

Having Bluebell around him most of the time helps. She's the best at regulating his emotions in an efficient way. So when he's having a moment, he usually hides away in the backroom of the shop or his bedroom and lets Bluebell fuss over him and calm him down.

But even though cheering him up is not difficult at all, it's unfortunately pretty easy to screw up. It's all about the details! And Julian had to find out eventually (not necessarily the hard way but the mildly confusing one)...

One day, after closing the shop after serving a particularly rude customer, Rowan goes to the backroom to angry cry at the injustice he had to suffer. He knows it's not a big deal and that he should be fine in a few minutes but then Julian arrives and finds Rowan curled up in the corner of the room, weeping into his hands with Bluebell on his shoulder.

"God, Rowan, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Julian drops to his knees beside him, already frantically searching for any injuries.

"I'm fine!", Rowan catches Julian's hands into his own "Just had a bad day..." he doesn't even get the chance to elaborate before Julian gets to his feet again.

"Do you want me to get you a snack? Or I could make you tea..." and before Rowan has the chance to stop him, Julian already walks off while muttering to himself about other possible solutions to the "problem" he was presented with.

Rowan can only sigh and let himself cry for a while longer before Julian returns with a cup of tea and a bunch of cut up fruit in a bowl. This time he actually sits down next to Rowan.

"So do you wanna talk about it? Because I'm all ears, love."

"In a moment..." Rowan sniffs and takes a small sip of the tea.

Then he pauses and furrows his eyebrows slightly.

"You put honey in it...?" he asks while staring into the cup.

"Well- Of course I did. You like it that way, right?"

"But this is fruit tea... Why would you put honey in it? It makes it too sweet..." Rowan sobs out softly which makes Julian become concerned again and start apologizing.

"I'm sorry, I really had no idea- I'll make you a new cup, okay? Please don't be sad-" his reassurances get cut off when Rowan just wipes his eyes and gets to his feet, pulling Julian up with him. In just a few seconds, what seemed like another small breakdown of Rowan's, turns into a lecture, full of strongly worded tea opinions.

"...you can't put honey in herbal tea either, you know? It completely destroys the taste of it! Seriously, I thought this was common sense..." he grumbles as he pulls the very confused Julian along with him to the kitchen, to remake the tea together.

Bluebell, noticing that she's not needed anymore, stays behind and munches on the bowl of discarded fruit...

[tozierlvr]

per the last thing i reblogged, i just needed to sit down and write a full response because i'm very used to seeing homophobia and transphobia in this fandom, but never in such a pointed and frankly, aggressive way. so let's get started, may we?

first, to talk about the eddie thing:

the way people have feminized eddie is criticized because eddie, as a character, is not feminine or flamboyant, he's just small. and on this topic- he's also feminized and headcanoned as "the bottom" as you so kindly put it because of the biker shorts he wears in it chapter one. that has always rubbed me the wrong way, because he's not feminine or "slutty" for that, he's fucking thirteen. the costumer dressed him like a thirteen year old boy. but people sexualize it like crazy.

then, saying that people make eddie the "macho top" to avoid that stereotype is wild. i, for one, have never seen eddie portrayed as "macho" and i have scoured tumblr and ao3 for portrayals like this, and i haven't found anything like this. i also don't know why you had to bring up their sexual positions in this argument. why are you fucking mad about this? sounds like someone doesn't understand gay sex dynamics!

now, i just want to know why you think "the worst possible way" for someone to be feminized is by making them bottom and by hc-ing them as a transgender woman?

this comes off as transphobic and homophobic to be honest, and i just don't understand why you felt the need to say this.

also, i thought the headcanons stemmed from people trying not to feed into the feminine eddie headcanons- so how would they stem from richie crying in it chapter two? you're right that this is the proper response to someone you love dying, but i have never, ever seen somebody cite just this as an example of richie being overly emotional. i've actually never seen somebody say that period. but if we're comparing him to eddie, when you look at like, you know, the BOOK, richie probably is the more emotional one.

but none of this matters anyway, because these headcanons don't stem from either of those things. sometimes, people just like headcanoning a character as a certain thing because they either see coding that way or maybe they just see it for some reason. a lot of people point to the werewolf imagery and plotline as an allegory for richie maybe being transgender. and to me, that makes a lot of sense. but you don't have to think that, and it's okay if you don't. but saying that the headcanon is being forced upon the fandom? that's just weird.

moving on:

there is not bisexual evidence for richie tozier in the novel, or even really gay coding. :)

i also know that you haven't read the book, so i don't know what source material you're referring to.

the only canon sexuality we have for richie tozier is straight (book) and gay (movies). obviously, you can headcanon him as bi. there's nothing wrong with that. but interpreting the character richie tozier from specifically it chapter two as bisexual IS gay erasure. because he is not bi. he is gay. in that adaptation.

also, you sound so weird saying "ignoring the complexity of his character" in regards to people hc-ing him as gay. being a gay kid raised in the 50s/80s (depending on version) is incredibly fucking complex. i don't know what you're talking about here. this argument is stupid.

i hope you do some more delving into queer identity before you come back to tumblr, dude. maybe a break will do you good.