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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement: (the weight of words):

Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it. “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #ch 92 #ch 93 #sad paper #Anime Only #manga spoilers

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esoteriamaya · 2 years

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Mercury retrograde.. again

So this dream takes me back to the past a little, like always. Mercury in retrograde has a way of showing me whats going on with past people, places, situations and what its doing to me and my psyche.

So when I seen my ex 'friend' who I recently stopped talking to last month appear in my dream I was like 'here we go again'.

It wasnt bad, though. I actually liked where everything was going. It was truth, to say the least. So im picking up things I left in a particular house and I see this persons sister come up to me. she says hello and hug. It was good seeing her again! I see the ex friend and another mutual person I knew with him. They were always close friends. Anywho, I say hey to him and he says something like "I see youre here today". Something cold, but not anything I cared about. In my mind I said whatever he's on is not my business. Cause I aint care. Anyways the sister tells me all my stuff are in the other room which happens to be next to his room. The toxic part of me wants to go in his room, hide in there and check his phone and see what he's possible said to me to other people but the get my head back in order and go back down stairs because... no lmao.

As im preparing to get all my stuff I see the one friend come up to me and ask me did I block him? I say yes I blocked you through text, but not on instagram. I see the ex friend smile and laugh, like he had won or something.

But the other boy asked me why I did it, I answered truthfully and I tell him because I was nervous that people in your friends friend group, which is you, would come asking me about the situation and my anxiety was already bad during that time so I figured blocking anyone affiliated with him would do the trick.

because it was a really bad week mentally but I kept picking myself up, his friend is an emotional vampire and during the week of our 'friendship breakup' he kept bothering me for more reactions after I had finally cut him off like how he was trying to cut ME off. weird shit.

But his friend understood me though, and he came to give me a hug. He said 'wow, thank you for your honesty, I didnt know you would be honest with me'. I said 'its cool'.

I wasn't sure if I should be honest with him in that moment, I was tired of being sooooo vulnerable with people who dont care. But vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. The friend says to give him a hug and I give him a 'cheap one' like he calls it, like the one where you hug them from the side, but it was unintentional. The boy was like 'you know you could give me a better one than that!' in a joking manner. So we embrace finally, like a real embrace. No fake shit. I was surprised by this, because actually getting to know this guy I didn't think it would come to this. But I knew from the beautiful embrace, that our relations to each other was finally over. The end was finally approaching and ties were no longer here.

I noticed the ex friend sitting down at this point but I seen he wasn't smiling this time. Again I was minding my business and let it go to do what needed to be done.

Now I'm heading to a store to pick up some belongings I ordered from this weird store I was working for. And guess who I see there? The ex-friend. He works there! But I paid him no mind again, I just wanted to get my things and go. He says something to me in a cold manner again, I remember just saying to him 'ok' and keeping it movin'. It took a while to get all these items together and put them in my basket to go to the car. He was suppose to help me because thats his job, but he didn't do it.

This ain't even the best part, so where im at is some type of amuse meant park. I didn't realize until I looked outside. I hear a faint voice that moves closer and closer to the room I'm in. It's my dad! And his son. With some other woman. He's holding a baby but I cant figure out if its my little sister or not. I haven't spoken to him in months since the accident with me and my mom and at some point had no plan on it because he was very weird and disgraceful throughout the process of my mom being in the hospital. So I just cut him off for good. He keeps talking about his wife so I hear, but he looked happy! So that was good. I say 'be right back' to the ex-friend, the worker and go closer outside to see if it was really him and it was in fact him. Trailing behind him was the other younger sister, the middle child. I knew it was her from a glance so I hurried back in because I didnt want to be seen or noticed by any of them.

She ends up coming in the same store I'm trying to get this stuff and go, the boy asks 'Is everything alright?' In an obvious cold, but enticed for drama manner. I say 'Im fine'. But I'm obviously trying to hide my face between the underwear and food that im trying to bag up and take. At this point I put my head back up because at this point she does notice me but doesn't care so this is good lmao. I see her smiling at something on the screen when the guy who runs the store FINALLY comes in and explains whats he's doing to the people who are here to work on a mysterious new amusement that will be here in the park. This is when I notice the ex-friend finally bagging up some things like he was supposed to. Lol. I remember almost saying thank you to him but changed my mind because what the hell? The guy who owns the store runs over to speak to me for a bit about any questions or concerns I may have about partaking in this new thing but I was just ready for the undertaking. I knew I could do it. It was an artistic gig. Anyways I noticed the middle sister again she was interested in buying something in there, I realized then she KNEW who I was but she didn't know I was her sister.

Crazy.

I knew I must of changed a lot since the last time I seen her, but at this point I didn't care. I was just ready to go.

Dream ends.

#mercury retrograde #storytime #spiritual #thoughts #myjournal #spirituality #astrology #poem #poetry #storytelling #mydreams

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the-sunshine-dims · 3 years

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amnesia rewrite! (chapter 6)

ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 7 | ch 8 |

original fic

words: 1692

ao3

contents and warnings: amnesia, deaged Janus, food, fluff, weeping angel mention, pranks,

____

Patton knew individually both Virgil and Janus were very strong spirits, and he had learned over the past couple weeks that together they were.. well, chaotic, but surely

surely.

It wouldn’t be normal for them to do- well whatever they did, Patton could only guess as roman chased them, covered in a sparkly goop, and yelling a couple of nonsense phrases as well as what Patton could only make out as “undo it!”

He really hoped it wouldn’t be normal.

Patton pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing to himself, before taking pity on both poor Roman and the flooring which was ever so slowly being fully covered with the goop as well, he loudly coughed to get their attention, having the intended effect of having them all halt in there running, “did you two do this?” He asked in his practiced and patented dad voice, already pretty certain he knew the answer but still asking anyway.

Janus immediately piped up, taking the attention from Virgil who had actually not fully stopped and had kept slowly side-stepping away from roman “No!” He told him insistently, not wanting him or Virgil to get in trouble and have the invite of movie night be rescinded, it was the first time it was calm enough and no one was too busy for one, which meant it was his first movie night, he didn’t want to miss it! still despite his very best attempt it was very very, abundently clear to Patton that he was lying, which wasn’t as big a surprise as Janus wished it would be, after all, he was a very shifty character.

the effort made Patton make sure to be soft with his tone however before he was just about to reply Virgil spoke up to talk to Janus, “dee patt’s smart enough to know we did it- and even if he didn’t would you really wanna not take credit for the awesome prank?” He asked vaguely motioning to Roman who was halfway across the room from him now.

Janus pouted- actually pouted and Patton couldn’t help but silently chuckle to himself, thankfully unnoticed by all other parties, and once he had stopped pouting he just turned around to face patton and immediately looked down to fiddle with his sleeves as he quietly went “okay.. we did, ‘m sorry” he said, focusing his attention on Patton.

“You don’t need to apologize to me, Roman’s the one who’s affected and deserves an apology.” he told him, and speaking of Roman, “Roman when you’re ready the bathroom should be free why don’t you take a shower, it doesn’t appear that the goo was made with just a snap,” Roman sighed loudly before nodding and Patton smiled at him before turning his attention once again to the two chaos bringers “now, you two clean the mess from when he was chasing after you and later you’ll have to help me with movie night preparation, sound relatively Fair?”

Virgil, Janus, and Roman mumbled a chorus of yes’s, Romans more prominent as he was happy to get some retribution for their crimes. Patton nodded- mostly to himself, “good.”

It would be days before he ended up admitting to the two that he actually found the prank kind of funny, because by then Roman, while still acting offended by the pure mention of it, everyone could tell that it was purely lighthearted and he was in no way mad.

It would be only hours though until he admitted it was adorable and so very sweet how much Janus had latched and pretty much imprinted onto Virgil, following him around like a little duckling, (and when Virgil was truly busy Roman was a close second, however, it didn’t seem to save him.)

_______

“..Roman why are you sparkly?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” roman grumbled back.

Patton chuckled as he listened to the short-lived conversation of the two from the kitchen, Virgil and Janus had been helping him with prepping everything for the movie night but as making popcorn was the last thing they needed to do (and they and Roman had gotten banned from the kitchen because while one of them had tried to make pasta while waiting for the plain water to heat up it somehow caught on fire) so he let them go, to do what they wanted to do until everyone gathered for the movie.

After a bit he was finally done popping it so he then sifted popcorn into the two bowls, one for just melted butter and salt for Logan and Virgil and one bowl with sugar and melted butter for Roman and himself and maybe Remus if he joined them, and Janus was welcome to both as Patton hadn’t really been able to memorize his favorite yet.

He smiled as walked out, quickly setting the popcorn bowls down onto the coffee table, before happily sitting and leaning into Roman’s side, he hummed quietly to himself as he waited for Virgil to come back down before he noticed that Janus was just standing there, near the tv not really doing something, barely even moving.

He took worry-filled moment to take a breath before just going “hey dee? You wanna sit down kiddo?” And Patting the spot next to him, he didn’t want him to feel like the odd one out and feel too awkward to sit down, so he wanted to offer a clear invitation just incase, logan had said he occasionally needed that.

Janus glanced at Patton momentarily, before shaking his head insistently “no, waiting,” He explained, well it might’ve been explaining to him but it gave much more questions than answers, and honestly it was kind of scaring Patton especially as he immediately went back to staring at a specific spot, and a long while back Virgil had introduced him to what weeping angels were, so now he was scared to look away when his kiddos stared at either him or a very specific spot that didn’t ever vary for a prolonged time.

After a bit Virgil came down and sat right next to Logan, who had been silently reading a book against the armrest,

Then the moment Virgil sat down and everybody got situated- not even a second later, Janus ran full force at the couch and threw himself onto them, eliciting a variety of startled yelps and shrieks from them, and after a moment of him just happily using all of theirs legs as pillows as they remained completely stunned, Roman, Logan, and Paton just started to make noises of both bewilderment and dramatic alarm, however, the former was more of Romans doing, despite the only Part of Janus that was even touching him was his arms, extended like a stretching cat, though honestly despite the earlier prank Patton felt like if it had been anyone else and not Janus who had done that Roman would make much more fanfare about the throwing themself at them at all, Patton smiled to himself at the notion before grabbing the remote and stretching to hand it to Logan, absentmindedly starting to card his fingers through Janus’s hair.

Janus smiled contently as he got comfortable, happy with just being so close to his family.

_______

It had been maybe two and a half movies before Patton looked around, about to tell them another movie-based pun before he realized that They all had fallen fast asleep, Roman’s head lulled to the side and leaning on him much more than patton realized, Virgil cuddling Logan closely, and Janus holding patton’s arm captive, close to his chest, Patton barely suppressed an adoring coo with just how adorable the scene was before he realized that one of them wasn’t asleep, though he wasn’t that far away from it.

He looked over to focus more on Logan, who was trying so hard to watch the movie, blinking his eyes open after they started drooping more than three times in a single minute.

Patton smiled fondly before quietly going “lo, dear, you should go to sleep,”

Logan paused as he processed his words before he gave Patton a sheepish- and very groggy- smile, then he looked down to his lap, doing his best to avoid eye contact, and Patton realized a very important thing as Logan mumbled “‘mm don’ wanna move,” because while Virgil was very cuddly currently, Logan was equally cuddly, and he appeared very content to be so.

Patton chuckled softly as he understood, before going to shake his head lovingly, “lo-lo you don’t have to go upstairs to go to bed, you can just go to sleep in the cuddle pile with us, I was just saying if you're sleepy it’d be good to go to sleep.”

Logan made a small little “oh” sound, making it abundantly obvious even if it wasnt already that he was too tired to of even considered that, before grinning so brightly and so groggily and happily collapsing into Virgil’s chest.

And Patton couldn’t see exactly but he wouldn’t be surprised if Logan instantly fell asleep, he gave a small chuckle before doing his best to cover everybody with the blankets they had gradually grabbed and brought over to the couch to make sure no one got cold in the middle of the night.

After he was done he grabbed the remote from where Logan had put it and turned the tv off, soon continuing to card his fingers through Janus’s hair with his non-stolen hand.

And as Janus just melted even more at the contact Patton’s heart just melted once.

It didnt take long for patton to start getting drowsy now that he didnt have something to pay attention to and soon Janus and Patton started to Have incoherent conversations, Patton didn't even know if he had partially awoken or if it was just mid-sleep mumbles, but it didn't matter because he wasn’t even forming real or coherent words either, suddenly too tired to even realize it.

And not long after he could only yawn as he tried to keep his eyes open, before just collapsing against Roman’s shoulder and being the final one to quickly doze off.

#ts janus #ts roman #ts patton #ts virgil #ts logan #im so sorry for next chapter #roman sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #amnesia rewrite #sanders sides fic #sanders sides writing #the cold one writes #fluff

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years

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Part 1 of Hyunjin and Me Fantasy:

*I like to base my fantasies off of real details*

It all starts when Hyunjin was a kid and when he lived in the U.S., but instead of him staying in Las Vegas for only a year he stays in Miami bc that's where I'm from tehe from age 5 all the way to age 17, which I'm pretty sure is the age he became a trainee.

Hyunjin's parents moved to Miami for good work opportunities and they stayed in an a decent, cute apartment appropriate for a family 3 and a small dog. Nicely decorated as well and Hyunjin's room was decorated the way he wanted. Now for my family, my mom was an International Interior Designer?? don't question it which meant she's decorated houses overseas as well, my father was a multi-occupational entrepreneur so he had many brands and services. In the time before I was born he was an English teacher in Korea so by the time he came back he was like on a Felix level of Korean (which is pretty good). We lived in one of the luxury apartments that was suited well for me, my parents, and my little brother. When he came back to the states he decided to start a language tutoring business and he was the first employee who was teaching English.

By the time Hyunjin's and his parents arrived they heard about this tutoring service because they knew a pretty decent amount of English, but not Hyunjin so they took this chance so he could learn, then he started to get lessons from my father. He taught these lessons to him after school and me and Hyunjin went to the same Charter School in Miami. Our parents actually made a connection with each other because they made Hyunjin's parents feel more at ease by being able to speak Korean fluently, both of my parents actually. In those years my father was an English teacher in Korea my mother was also with him and she got a chance to learn and understand the language too. Eventually, me and Hyunjin met. It was during his 3rd tutoring lesson when my mom had a parent-teacher confess after school and Hyunjin and my dad were still in their lesson. Earlier Hyunjin's mother explained that he didn't really have too many friends and that since he barely knew any English it was difficult for him. They all came together parent to parent about maybe introducing Hyunjin to me to see how it goes. And it went pretty well he said "Hi, my name is Hyunjin" in a shy and cute manner and I said "Hi, I'm Laila" a little nervous to be completely honest. We started playing together, we had the same kindergarten class so it was easier for us to see each other, and his English improved quickly after that once we spoke to each other more often and he came around more kids who spoke English. Once me and Hyunjin were able to have a full conversation in fluent English I asked him to teach me Korean even though after listening to our parents speak it almost everytime they saw each other I picked up quite a bit already, you know how impressionable kids are. With this connection that me and Hyunjin had we became best friends and always tried out best to have the same classes for school 🤣 which I've done in real life so I say we were successful in doing this. We started going over to each other's houses and he introduced me to Korean food and sense my dad was Jamaican and my mom was Dominican he was introduced to Caribbean food. That's just what happened when we went to each other's houses. Everytime I went to his house I learned a little bit more Korean which helped a lot because I wanted to visit Korea one day. As Hyunjin got older we started becoming a lot closer to the point to where I started to have feeling for him but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way.

I might tell part 2 once your ready 😁😁

AAAWH THIS IS SOOO CUTEEEEE that its like based on your real life and ah its so cute

hyunjin was very thankful for you being his friend when he himself had a difficult time making friends, there wasnt much that he could talk to with his peers but since you had parents that knew korean and since his parents knew yours well he didnt hesitate talking to you since he felt safe and something united the two of you. he loved visiting your house after school, always staying for dinner and enjoying the caribbean food your parents prepared, he also always brought a ton of korean snacks in his backpack that the two of you sneakily eat during class and during break whilst sharing headphones and listening to music, him always telling you how his dream was to become a well-known singer and you saying that he'd have to take you with him to tours to which he agreed with a bright smile. basically the two of you were inseparable even during your teenage years and this close connection became scary once you realised that you liked hyunjin, in a different way than you had ever done before.

ah please tell more!! this was fun ^^

#jisungsmysugadaddy #Cherrymail🍒

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drkcnry67 · 4 years

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your destiny is an archangel

title: your destiny is an archangel (drabble)

pairing: gabriel x reader

h&h sq: archangels

rating: pg-14

tags: following the light, being told to do something you have no say in, being forced into something that you didnt want.

created for @heavenandhellbingo

mentioning @sweetness47

H&H list

ordinary, you were far from it. your brothers were the Winchesters, your father was John Winchester, tho you were the youngest winchester you were still the ever brighter star in the winchester family tree.

your brothers often left you in charge of the impala and all the technical stuff making bullets and things like that. but this was your first hunt. this was the first time being out in the field after months even years of training.

your brothers had sent you to a simple hunt while they handled a vamps nest and a werewolf den. you enter upon the scene after speaking to the locals who all claimed to have seen a really bright light and heard screaming and voices calling their names.

you see the light and suddenly your surrounded by it. the light clears and you are being held back by what look to be several armed soldiers. 2 more walk toward you: one blond hair, blue eyes really ripped. the other chestnut brown hair, brown eyes also really ripped.

the guards holding you back made you drop your handheld as they forced you to bow before the 2 men standing before you.

Michael: why do you look at us like you dont have a clue what or who we are?

you were in a bad mood right then unsure of what would come out of your mouth you didnt think about it you just spoke.

YN: cause i dont you dumbass, now let me go or i swear my brothers will not be kind to you when they find out you have their little sister.

Michael: chill out little winchester, we know who you are... wait let me start this again. my name is Michael son of God archangel of the highest ranking and the leader of the army of God. this fellow beside me is my brother Gabriel also an archangel i believe your people would call him a trickster.

all you could do was stare, you were in a bit of shock and a state of disbelief. you were talking to angels, never mind that archangels, the biblical ones you had red about in the bible.

YN: okay so now i understand who you guys are, but what are you doing here and what does it have to do with me and my current predicament.

Michael: cause its your destiny YN to marry my brother Gabriel and become his wife. he would help you in your quest to help your brothers stop every single damn monster that invades earth.

you instantly looked at Michael like he had just blown up the state building in new york. you looked at him like he had just melted an entire city or brought the dinosaurs back.

but he did non of those things he instead had just told you that you were to marry someone, nevermind that it was the freaking archangel Gabriel. you were not sure of how your brothers, dean especially would react.

YN: are you guys insane? you are telling me that at 25 years old i have to marry Gabriel the archangel who spoke to the virgin mary and announced to her that she would bare Jesus. your telling me that when you both should know full well that my brothers will not like this idea at all... never mind the fact that i like earth i am not moving anywhere that isnt earth. nevermind the fact that my phone is ringing, its my brothers if i dont answer it they will get worried and come after me they know where i am and...

Gabriel spoke for the first time since arriving, tho his eyes had never left your form.

Gabriel: guards release her to allow her to answer her phone

The guards released you, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone answering it immediately.

Yn: hey Dean!

Dean: you took a bit to answer, everything okay.

Yn: well umm I found out the cause of the disturbance. But Dean it's archangels. I am being starred at by archangels.

Dean: I'm sorry what? Archangels as in the biblical beings. Did they speak? Do they have names?

YN: I have had the pleasure of speaking with the archangel Michael and the archangel Gabriel. But what they told me I have a hard time grasping the concept of. And your not gonna like it.

Dean: what did those douchebags want?

Yn: Michael said I have the destined honor of becoming the wife of Gabriel. Apparently God set this in his book long time ago.

You could hear the roar of the impala you knew that your brothers were now pissed.

Dean: stay there we are on our way there in 10 min.

The line went dead, you hung up the phone it was Gabriel who spoke next.

Gabriel: is everything okay?

YN: my brothers are on their way. They are coming here they did not take too kindly to the news.

Michael: as it is written the brothers Winchester shall come to bare witness to this auspicious union for it will bring some light into this world.

Gabriel: Michael, dear brother, can I take YN to speak in private?

Michael gives a swift nod, Gabriel holds his hand to you.

Gabriel: would you like to take a stroll with me?

YN: is this of our own free will?

Gabriel: completely..

Yn: then sure we have a few moments to kill before my brothers arrive.

You take the hand of Gabriel, the two of you walk away from Michael and the God squad. Gabriel turns to you a short while later.

Gabriel: how do you feel about this ordeal?

YN: honestly I don't know. I mean my entire life I've been trying to find the person I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life. all my life i have tried to find love before it sneaks up on me. when my father died i shut myself off from love. i have not thought of the idea of love in a long time. but now being told that i am destined to marry, i just dont know what to think.

Gabriel: what does your heart tell you right now?

you closed your eyes for a moment, taking his position right behind you.

YN: that you are good for me. that with a little work and effort we can be the happiest people on earth we can build a future together based on love, protection and kicking so much ass.

Gabriel at that point spun you around neither of you noticing the lights from the impala nor the people walking toward you. but instead he kissed you, your brothers, michael, the guards all saw this kiss.

the thing that snaps you both out of the kiss is a very very familiar voice speaking in a harsh tone.

Dean: YN what the fuck do you think you are doing?

You stand in defense of Gabriel as your big brother strides towards you. sam just smirked. you knew he wasnt as pissed about this as Dean.

YN: dean stop thats enough. i dont want to hurt you.

Dean: you would dare to challenge family? have you lost your senses completely? he is an archangel, your a human!!!!!

YN: its my destiny to marry him. for once in your life stop thinking the worst and just listen. please dean, for me. if you love me bro, you will listen to what Michael has to say.

dean backed off and went to stand near sam and started pacing. you nodded at michael to start talking.

Michael: peace be with thee Dean for i nor my brother nor my guard wish your sister or family harm. we bring this night news of great joy for all of you. this night ordained by God in his book is the night that i release Gabriel into his new life with YN on earth. i of course will return for the wedding but tonight is the release. whenever thee decides the wedding date my dear brother knows how to get ahold of me. Dean tho you are only ever looking out for your family, take a good look at your sister with my brother, tho they not have known each other for very long have started the release process. gabriel had no idea that the release starts with a kiss and ends with my pronunciation and blessing. but you and Sam need to agree as well otherwise your sister will never find her happy ending nor the ending you wish for her. so what say the mighty brothers winchester. do you both consent to this?

Sam steps towards you and Gabriel giving you a big hug which you return. when he lets you go he speaks soft tones loud enough for all to hear.

Sam: i Sam Winchester, give my permission and consent to this destined union cause it makes me happy to see my sister smile.

you watched as Sam went to Gabriel and shoke his hand welcoming him into the family. then sam went to dean and had this little conversation.

Sam: look Dean i know that you are the older brother and your supposed to look out for me and Yn i get that but this is how her story is destined to go, we are still a family, just an expanded family and at least one of us should be happy in our lifetime of killing all the evil sons of bitches we can find. if you remotely care at all about our sister and how this will affect her if you say no then think about it this way. all mom and dad wanted for all of us was a normal life. with Yn and the destiny squad she gets part of the normalcy while we all still get to keep doing what we do and to top it off we get to see our sister be happy in the ways we never could dean.

dean paced some more he knew what the right choice was but he also had to convince himself that it was the correct choice. he looked at how you were smiling with Gabriel and he started walking towards you Sam became prepared to step in just in case, but both you and gabriel turned towards your big brother and watched his emotions reflect in his facials.

Dean: im such an ass. i mean i walked up in here acting like, well dad did when sammy wandered off to college. look sis im so sorry for how i acted and after pacing round arguing with myself i finally came to the realization that this is not gonna hurt the winchester legacy. in fact it will strengthen it. Michael i know that things are gonna change but tell me one thing, did both our parents end up in heaven? and is it possible for them to join us for their wedding.

you walk closer to your brother

YN: dean does that mean?

Dean: yes i consent you both have my blessing. but i wasnt kidding either that was a serious question.

Michael: unfortunately i am unsure. for you see, i do not know who is up and who is down im too busy training the troops for gods army. the matters of state are not up to me. they are left up to the one person who was anointed by god to do the job fairly. moses. but hey i cant complain. now if everyone is ready i will do the pronunciation and give my blessing.

You all take stance in front of Michael is you facing Gabriel, behind you is Dean, behind Gabriel is Sam, the guards stand away from us witnessing what happens.

Michael: Heaven rejoices this glorious day for here is one destined promise from God this shall be the release of my brother from his heavenly duties but keeping his connections to heaven, and into his new life here on earth with YN. Both of these 2 are about to become more deadly than anyone knows. I was there when YN was conceived. I told John that his daughter would be wonderful that her destiny would be full of family and joys beyond measure. My brother you have no idea how much pressure I have endured from father. When he told me about this day, what was to happen, he said I would feel the emotion of releasing you more deeply than anyone. Gabriel son of God angelic prince of the lower realms, do you accept this destiny as is ordained in the book dad wrote out?

Gabriel: yes I accept what is being laid out before me

Michael: YN child blessed by the upmost holy of hollies, sister to the brothers winchester who have become feared among the supernatural. now here before these witnesses do you also accept the destiny written out before you in the book of God?

Gabriel’s hand grasped your own, suddenly your fear was gone. this allowed you to speak.

YN: i accept the destiny laid before me

Michael: very well, your first task is to get used to this new life, within the time ahead heaven shall expect the following from you both: a wedding, a child, and defeating whatever crosses your paths. can you both promise that?

you nod as does Gabriel.

Michael: by the powers and laws of heaven in accordance to the written word of God i now pronounce this ceremony finished releasing my brother into the arms of this beautiful young woman forever. brother i believe you know what to do.

Gabriel pulls you into a dip and kisses you.

Everyone applauds, congratulations flow in from every guard then it comes to your brothers.

Sam: kiddo, you were radiant up there. That was amazing.

Dean: so I guess we need to start figuring out a sturdy place to put down roots.

YN: for now we are gonna be just as content living on the road with you 2 nuts and besides its the family business, just because this is my destiny doesn't mean i have to stop the family mission. To kill every evil son of a bitch that dares to reek havoc on the earth. Plus we don't have a definite set placement for much of anything at this time. Where to next?

That's when Michael approached you lot.

Michael: don't forget the promises and oaths taken here today. Brother to wish you all the luck in this new life of yours. YN take good care of my bro, he is certainly one of a kind. I'll also expect a formal invite to the wedding it's not every day one of my own brothers gets married. Now I must go still have to patrol the east part. Farewell, till we meet again.

Michael and the guards disappeared. This left you, Gabriel and your brothers, you took into consideration that you had walked to this location so as not to draw suspicion. And you certainly were not up to walking back to the hotel or where ever.

Dean: we have the bags and shit from the hotel, we are heading to Bobby's from here. There is trouble Kansas close to where me and Sam were born. Bobby's gonna brief us before we go, hell he might even join us. But onto bigger issues, the 2 lovebirds can sit in the backseat just no having sex in the car ever not ever. Rule number 2 I pick the music no one else does and number 3 let's hit the road to make it to Bobby's for dawn.

You got into the backseat sliding over gabriel, you were not stranger to conversation but you stretched out your head was in gabes lap, you were exhausted mentally anyway.

physically you felt fine. you felt amazing actually, feeling gabe just running his fingers through your hair and the lull of the impala made you just stare into the eyes of the man to be your husband with love and calming affection.

about 2 hours into the drive, you had fallen asleep. Sam was also sleeping, taking the time to rest and relax. this left Dean and Gabriel still awake.

Dean: for what its worth, you seem to see the best in my sister. i know this is very new for you too but know that you and i have alot to discuss if i am to train you and her.

Gabriel: for what its worth, i could see it in your eyes when you saw me with your sister, saw me holding her in my arms, kissing her. dude i get it, we will figure this out, we are going to approach this new relationship one step at a time.

Dean: by the way how are you feeling after the whole being released from the heavenly duties thing. after the whole basically becoming human thing.

gabriel: honestly it feels like i am floating in a suspended reality that could disappear at any point. honestly i love this feeling. i have to ask tho why are we going to Bobby’s right now. why drive through the night.

Dean: cause i know that YN will need to train, she usually sleeps off an adrenaline rush than crashes with a massive burst of anger in the morning. so if we get there before she wakes up, i will be able to set up the yard make it look like its ready for training. so that way she can spiral and we can watch while she tries to prove her worth. but she will do that for about two hours or so until she crashes on her knees crying.

Gabriel looked down at your sleeping form, knowing that your entire future together would bee full of these moments of learning and hard times together.

Gabriel: and how often does this happen?

Dean: only when something dramatic changes or after sam and i come home with broken bones and such. usually she will go into her burst after she resets us or patches her up. but i was thinking about this a while now, this started just after dad passed. could that have been the thing to set her hunting skills into over drive?

Gabriel: you think these are her hunters skills trying to break through. and what it causes her to crash after 2 hours. that doesnt sound right. i mean it does but it doesnt. you understand that trauma affects people differently, maybe loosing your dad was harder on her than she let you believe.

Dean: then why would she lie to us. say that she is fine when she isnt?

Gabriel: probably cause she didnt want you and Sam to look at her differently. she respects your opinion, as her older brother its your job to notice when she is not being completely honest and she probably does this to try and get your attention. she knows that you wont do anything otherwise so she has to try something else.

Dean had to stop for a second and analyze what Gabriel had just said. he realized that he was right, so within a few more hours you all arrived at Bobby’s. Carefully Gabriel carried you inside and up to your room. your brothers were gonna stay in the living room on the couch, in order to explain things to bobby.

Gabriel having now laid you on the bed pulled off your shoes and your sweater putting a light blanket over you. then he took off his own shoes, his coat and his shirt and crawled under the covers beside you. that was when your sleeping form curled up against him.

that was the first time he had felt truly happy. he passed out short while later anxious to see what the new life would bring. dawn rose high in the sky, the sound of bobby and your brothers arguing in the morning was a sound you knew all too well. you quietly stretched out.

Gabriel: morning beautiful.

you turned to him and smiled.

YN: morning, im gonna take the dog outside. im sure if you went downstairs there will be food for you. ill see you when i return.

you went out the door and downstairs the 3 men in the kitchen heard you, Gabe grabbed one of the muscle shirts out of the pile of mens clothes in the room before he went downstairs.

Gabriel: its an honor to meet you Bobby.

Bobby and Gabe shoke hands thats when Gabriel noticed that you were standing outside with the dog sitting by your legs as you stood at the barrel, with the hand held in your hands and just shooting the tree stumps out in the field.

Gabriel: now i finally feel like i am beginning to understand this thing that humans call love.

Dean: its a funny thing thats forsure. but we have a theory. what if you went outside and see if you could talk to her. she has threatened to shoot any of me, sam or bobby if we get too close but she might let you near.

Gabriel continued to watch you shoot the tree stumps. he just watched, he was waiting for the right moment to go out there.

Gabriel: i just hope that i can get through to her. if the great dean winchester thinks i can bring his sister back into the light then it must be true.

Dean: you know what why dont you go out there right now see if she opens up. cause im sure she wont shoot you down if you ask her if you can join her.

Gabriel hesitates a few short moments before he puts on his shoes and walks out the door. he slowly approaches you. Rumsfeld barks to let you know someone is approaching.

Gabriel: mind if i join you? your brothers mentioned that you might be over here.

You turned to face Gabriel... you were staring into the eyes of the man to be your husband. you felt your knees begin to go weak. you were unsure of the conszequences to what you would soon do, but you did it anyway.

YN: there is another handheld on that stump over there. just hold it like i am and pull the trigger aiming for the tree stumps.

gabriel mimics your movements and stances. you were the most radiant person he had ever seen shooting a gun. gabriel shoots the stumps with you for a bit. but your knees buckle out from under you and you break down in tears.

Gabriel: are you alright?

YN: ever since my father died, i have been living a lie. im no hunter, im not even a proper one. i can barely hold my own when im fighting my brothers, i can only shoot a gun when im by my self in this field with rumsfeld and nothing but the wind. i know i have worried my brothers, i know they are never gonna look at me the same way. im a fool for thinking that i could ever join the family business, help get revenge for dad’s death, i am never gonna amount to what my brothers are.

Gabriel: dont talk like that. you are every bit the woman that your brothers would ever want you to be. dean mentioned to me about how you mihgt just open up if i came out here. but that isnt why i came over here, i came to you cause you are my present and my future, im not gonna let you suffer in this alone. i know we are still new to this whole idea that we are to be married and such, but i promise you this you will never be alone. i might not be fully angelic anymore but i can still be pretty angelic when i want to be. part of my negociation with my brother about my release was that i get to keep my wings. so thats exactly what i plan to do. how bout we go for a nice flight? maybe to Paris, have some breakfast?

you got up with Gabriel for support, you had stopped crying sort of, but those tears got wiped away by the love of your life. you sent a quick text to Dean before Gabriel pulled you flush with his body, his wings came out and he flew you both off to paris.

this left Bobby, Dean and Sam in awe as they had just watched this take place from the window.

but that is another story for another time.

#heaven and hell bingo

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tobacconist · 4 years

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my house got hit with a nasty strike of bad luck last night, all at once, i think around one o clock till about half past; i blame the full moon in scorpio (i believe saturn, venus, and pluto were retrograde at the time too. not sure if they still are)

i didnt feel like writing it at the time because i was too upset

had a really good day before then too. dads been depressed recently and wed sat out in the sunshine n had a smoke n laugh. we played dominoes later on.

ill say it started with my dad gettin absolutely wankered, like really fuckin drunk n stoned, the kind of wankered where you think youre completely fine but you aint and you wont listen to anyone telling you to sit the fuck down or go to bed

anyway, mum went to bed about 11, told us both to get to bed early (because she is the only sensible person in this house) dad said he was going soon after he’d finished his wine (like he does every night) but he filled his glass a few more times and stayed up.

eventually he went to bed, i told him not to keep coming down to pester me and that id go soon after. of course he came down a few times (its like an incredibly unfunny farce every night) to eat crisps and drunkenly ask me why i wasnt in bed ‘give me some fuckin peace and i’ll likely go to bed sooner!’ i said its a farce

i was trying to think about designing an expanded dominoes set which also functions as a jenga set, and perhaps could be used as some kind of analog calculator a bit like an abacus. i was looking up variations on the game of dominoes and thinking about the esoteric significance of the game

of course i couldnt think about it in peace for long, cus dad came down once again to ask me why i wasnt in bed yet ‘because you wont let me have any fucking peace to think!’ i said ‘the sooner you go to bed the sooner i go to bed!’ it really is like this every fuckin night

‘alright, alright, im going to bed. dont be too long’ he said. then i heard the dog coming down the stairs ‘fuck sake! dont wake mum up for fuck sake, she’ll come down and yell at both of us!’ i thought then he said (to the dog) ‘oh, do you need a wee?’ n then i got a real bad feeling that i couldnt really place, like everything was going to suddenly go wrong.

i hide his wineglass because for fuck sake if he comes back downstairs im not gonna get any peace hes bumblin around makin a load of noise, then he shuts the door so i presume the dogs inside.

then he comes to me! asking me where the dog is, i say ‘didnt you just let him out? is he inside?’ he shouts to my poor mother, who is just trying to sleep ‘is the dog up there with you!’ she yells back ‘NO! YOUVE JUST LET HIM OUTSIDE YOU STUPID BASTARD!’ or words to that effect. she’s really angry and im like ‘hhhhhhhhhh fuck sake’

i start panicking, for personal insane paranoid reasons (basically a picture of my dog taken that day had a strange lense flare from the sun that, sorta, yknow in the film the omen where they take a picture but theres a weird streak on it and then later the person gets impaled by a huge steel beam. looked sort of like a downward swung scythe to me. praying its just the light, but yeah i got really paranoid.) so i was suddenly like ‘holy shit holy shit is something going to happen to my dog’, i grab my torch and sprint into the garden with my shoes on the wrong feet. i hear my dog suddenly yelp and im genuinely prepared for the worst.

mum had come downstairs now and was yelling like fuck at my dad, who was barely lucid, like, not even understanding why she was angry, and that jus made her angrier)

thankfully, my dog was okay. hed found a hedgehog in the garden, once again, and was once again trying to beat it up and play with it. i grab his collar and send him back inside. i look at the hedgehog. its all curled up, and i can see that its bleeding. its breathing still though, breathing really heavily. i half cover my torch so as not to frighten it any more and watch it for a bit.

i go back into the kitchen and my mum asks whats wrong, i hesitate for a moment and then tell her dog was being nasty to a hedgehog. i should tell you that hedgehogs are my mums favourite animals, she collects ornaments and paintings of hedgehogs. she really loves them

i dont really know what to do, so i go to the fridge and get an egg and crack it half open, i go back outside and leave it nearby. i notice that mums come outside too, and she asks where it is. i dont want to scare it anymore by getting too close so i just shine the torch on it for a few seconds and point out where its bleeding.

we go back inside, now both feeling really sad. dad is wandering around the house demanding to know where his wine glass is not at all aware of whats happened. mum says shes gonna go for a cig and then try to go back to bed.

i shut the dog in the back room with the curtains closed, i only do that when hes really bad. was too sad even to yell at him. left him in there on his own for atleast an hour an d a half. really disappointed in him. i hope he realises what he did was bad, and i hope he never does it again. hedgehogs are friends.

i went into the living room and sat down and had a drink. dad was still wandering round looking for his wine glass. i say ‘you know the dog just really hurt a hedgehog’ he says ‘dont tell me that right now, i dont want to hear it. where have you put my wine glass!??’ hes just madly looking around calling me a thief, i tell him i havent stolen it, just moved it, but hes drunk too much anyway’ this is another another weekly farce.

he finds it eventually, and sits down. my mum comes in the room now, and i can tell she’d been crying. she says maybe we should put it in a cardboard box or something, i say i dont want to disturb or traumatise it anymore, and it wouldnt want to be in our house anyway. we discuss it for a while, dad keeps making suggestions about what takeaways are open or something because hes half asleep and not actually listening to what were saying.

eventually we decide that i’ll check on it in a few hours to see if its still there or dead or what and if its still alive then i’ll put it in a box and see if we can take it to the vets in the morning (not likely, since theyre only open for emergencies atm)

she goes to bed, dad goes a little while after, still smugly talking about how i should be in bed and mumll be upset if im up to late, cus hes completely out of it

then, just as i put youtube on to distract myself, the internet goes down for like 15 minutes.

i jus sit there refreshing the page. it comes back on after a little while.

i idly browse but cant enjoy anything. i think about writing a tumblr post about it (as i am doing now) but it feels wrong at the time.

i open omegle and tell the first person who’ll listen jus to get it off my chest, theyre very kind, and then we idly chat about some shit. i start to feel better.

then i go have a look in the garden; the hedgehog is gone and the egg is unfinished. i dont know if that means a fox got it, or whether it shuffled away somewhere to die or if it was ok and it wandered off thinking ‘never fucking ever coming to this garden again!’ hopefully the last, but thats still sad. i know hedgehogs are pretty resilient animals. i hope it was okay

i let the dog out of the room about 2 because he started scratching at the door. i didnt say anything i just sent him up to bed. he had an ashamed face. i hope he never does it again.

then i stayed on omegle all night until about 6am. stupid thing to do but i felt better after a while.

i feel the evil energy was gone in the morning. the moon has begun to wane and moved into sagittarius. mum seems alright. dont know if dad remembers anything from late last night. im feelin okay, jus real hungover. drank a lot more than i meant to

dont think im gonna proof read this so it might be a bit rambling. jus wanna get it off my chest

#long #long post #jus a string of bad luck all together

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thanksfornothinguselessreptile · 6 years

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A Shifting World Chapter 4: Goodbyes and Departures

First Chapter

<– Previous

Work Summary: Things have been going great since Hiccup and Toothless have defeated the Red Death. He has his father’s approval, a group of friends his own age, and is leading the integration of dragons and the Vikings of Berk. When neighboring tribes call together a meeting to discuss rumors of Vikings riding dragons, however, Stoick decides to keep their alliance with dragons under wraps. Hiccup must decide whether he should listen to his father or seek to teach the other Vikings of the archipelago the truths about dragons.

AO3

Rating: T

Characters: Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, Stoick, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Snotlout

Pairings: Minor Hiccup x Astrid

Chapter Summary: Hiccup makes a promise to his best friend. Meanwhile, the twins are the twins and Mildew is Mildew.

Chapter Warnings: Discussions of death and murder, food mention

“You guys are all so lucky,” Tuffnut said as he shook his head at the nearest ship. “You all get to go to the Thing and we don’t.”

“I’d kill for the opportunity to go.” The scariest thing about that statement, Hiccup decided, was that Ruffnut sounded like she genuinely meant it. “The Thing is the prime pranking opportunity, and none of you are going to take advantage of it!”

“We’ll keep that in mind, I promise,” Hiccup said. He found himself regretting that the twins wouldn’t be coming along, even if it cut down the risk of other tribes declaring war on Berk due to missing beards and painted helmets.

Still, with a whole village to terrorize and no one else in their friend group around to entertain them or hold them back, Hiccup was sure that the missed opportunity would soon be a long distant regret.

Luckily enough for Hiccup, if not for Berk, it turned out that many of his friends were coming along, too. Astrid’s mother, Phlegma, was among the Berk Council, as was Spitelout, Snotlout’s father; both had decided their children ought to come along and get a better understanding of the other tribes. Fishlegs, while he had a mother aboard their ship as a sailor, had been chosen to come because Stoick believed he could have potential as a future ambassador of Berk.

Beyond them, all of the Berk Council were going as well. Well, all except for one, who was heading this way with a frown.

Hiccup was suddenly very aware that the twins had seemed to have vanished into thin air. They must’ve pranked Gobber somewhat recently, then.

“Ah, Toothless, there you are!” Gobber said as he wagged the wooden hand cutout attached to his prosthetic arm attachment as he prepared a lecture. “Remember that you aren’t going on this trip, you sneaky reptile.”

Toothless grumbled in irritation and glanced over at Hiccup as if asking him to reverse the decision.

“Sorry, bud,” he said instead, and gave Toothless an apologetic smile. “You know that Dad would kill me if I smuggled you aboard.” And anyways, even if he did go through with showing the other tribes that dragons weren’t inherently violent and were actually amazing, intelligent beings who were willing to live in peace if humans were, he wanted Toothless here, safe, if things went wrong. Again.

Toothless snorted and shook his head, his pupils narrowing slightly.

“Don’t worry, bud, it won’t be for forever.” If Gobber wasn’t there, Hiccup would have told him he’d try and make it so he could go to the next one, too. However, Gobber was still there, listening. He wouldn’t exactly be the sort that would keep quiet if Hiccup started making plans to go against his father’s and chief’s wishes behind his back.

“Yes,” Toothless said with a disgruntled huff.

Hiccup could understand why. He wasn’t too happy about having to leave his best friend either.

Anything else he had to say, however, was swallowed up by a loud yell several feet away.

“I’m telling you, Stoick, this must be a sign from the gods to give up this unholy alliance with the beasts.” Hiccup had heard that voice enough times since after the Battle of the Red Death that he frowned and prepared to sigh with exasperation even before properly recognizing its owner.

Just as there were dragons too affected by the years of conflict to want to move onto Berk, there were Vikings who resisted the peace with the dragons with their heels dug into the ground. But where dragons were happy enough to avoid Berk, Mildew had decided to make his “opinion” everyone’s problem.

And especially Hiccup’s and Stoick’s.

“If the other tribes catch wind of us ‘befriending’ these monsters–” Mildew swung his staff straight toward a nearby Monstrous Nightmare who’d just dropped off a pallet of supply crates tied into groups with fishnet, ignoring their filthy look “–then we might as well kiss our lives goodbye!”

Stoick, half turned toward Mildew and half toward the freshly delivered stack of supplies, rubbed at his head in a way that told Hiccup that he was sensing an oncoming headache. “You’ve already brought this up. For sixteen Gripe Days in a row.”

“And you wouldn’t listen!” Hiccup winced as the vibrations of the resulting slam of the staff end into the wooden dock made their way up his prosthesis. “But now that the other tribes have come knocking, maybe you’ll finally care!”

Stoick cast Mildew a glare so sharp Hiccup almost expected to result in Mildew bursting into flames without a dragon’s intervention. Unfortunately for all of Berk, it didn’t. “Enough, Mildew. I am sticking to the answer I’ve given you every time before. We are not driving the dragons away.”

Mildew’s voice dropped just a fraction, and turned even more bitter and accusing. “Is it something you’re willing to bet the whole village’s lives on?”

“I assure you,” Stoick said, his voice unyielding, “I have the village’s best interests on my mind. And, like it or not, that includes yours.”

“Besides,” Gobber said, walking from beside Hiccup up to Mildew, “is right before Stoick’s about to leave to ensure we continue living in peace really the time to bring this up? Especially since he heard it before?”

Mildew snorted, sounding for all the world like a particularly stubborn sheep not unlike the one that often followed him around.

“I thought so. Now I suggest you go back and tend to your cabbages, unless you want to help load up the ship.” Gobber used his hand prosthesis to gesture at the supplies.

With one last scowl and “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you,” Mildew stormed off the docks, staff tapping each wooden board along the way.

“Thanks, Gobber,” Stoick said, sounding more relieved than he’d been since the announcement of the Thing.

Gobber shrugged. “Eh, I’ll just add it to list of stuff you’ll owe me for while you’re gone.” He shuddered overdramatically. “Including the Gripe Days you’ll be missing. Not looking forward to those, I’m telling you!”

Stoick laughed and shook his head. “It makes dealing with the other chiefs seem like a picnic.”

Hiccup and Toothless walked toward them. “Can’t you do something about his attitude problem?”

Stoick frowned and sighed. “He gets under my skin as much as yours, son, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

“What does he have against them, anyways?” He leaned over to pat Toothless’s side, to calm himself and his dragon. “They hardly attacked his farm.” Cabbage, to no one’s surprise, was hardly a dragon’s preferred delicacy. In fact, they seemed to avoid them more often than most other crops.

Gobber and Stoick shared a solemn look.

“You see, years ago he set his farm up there,” Gobber said, sounding like he was getting into a long story that had no happy ending. “No one particularly minded, given he was always that… well, Mildewy, for the lack of a better word.” He shrugged. “And he married a woman who was just as grumpy as he was, and they had kids who took after the both of them.”

If Gobber and Stoick hadn’t looked so serious, Hiccup would’ve shuddered at the thought of a family of Mildews.

“They all seemed happy, though, and they kept mostly to themselves, so everything was fine.” Stoick shook his head. “And then, one day, his wife and children were picking up supplies in town when a dragon raid hit.”

“It was the worst in decades.” Gobber bit his lip. “Our best could hardly keep up defending the town from the dragons.” He sighed and shook his head. “By the time dawn came and they retreated, so many had died, even those who hadn’t fought.”

“Including Mildew’s family.” Hiccup never thought he’d feel anything regarding sympathy for the man, but then again he’d always summed his irritability up to stubbornness beyond the usual Viking levels.

“And that wasn’t the end of it.” Stoick’s tone caused Hiccup to brace himself. “Mildew somehow got it into his head that we let them die intentionally because no one liked them.”

“Well, no one did like them,” Gobber jumped in with a conciliatory tone. “But no one hated them that much,” he added when Stoick glared at him.

“Everyone kind of understood that it was mostly the grief talking, and things kind of died down after a while.” Stoick stroked his beard. “And eventually he ended up taking another wife.”

“And that’s when a dragon came to his farm and burnt it to a crisp.” Gobber shook his head. “Mildew escaped. Not his wife.”

“And after he got over that, he married another woman. She was from the Northlander Tribe, I believe.” He glanced at Gobber as if to confirm.

Gobber nodded. “Aye. And I bet you can get what happened to her.”

Hiccup’s stomach clenched. “I’m guessing not a peaceful death by old age.”

“After that, he became obsessed with killing dragons.” Stoick stroked his beard, lost in thought.

“Not himself, of course.” Gobber shrugged a single shoulder. “Let’s just say he chose to keep a farm far from the raids for a reason. But he bought dragon parts off those who did kill them. Bones, scales, heads, the lot.”

Toothless made a nervous sound, and Hiccup reached over to scratch him under the ears in an attempt at reassurance. “Don’t worry, bud. No one’s getting your head.”

“He was always advocating for crueler ways of killing them off entirely, not just driving them off our land for good.” Stoick frowned. “In any case, any intention he had of making his peace with them died with his wives and children.”

“But now we can make sure that no one else has to go through that.” Hiccup knew that losing family to dragons hurt; he’d lost his own mother to a dragon when he was a baby, and that had definitely stung after finding out that it was the Red Death’s fault. Still, he couldn’t imagine preferring being at war with dragons to the peace they had now over it.

“I know, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Stoick placed a hand on Hiccup’s shoulder, being careful not to knock him over. “However, he’s been bitter since the day he was born, and circumstances only made him worse. When you’re chief, you’ll have to deal with worse than the likes of him.”

Hiccup resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Encouraging pep talk, Dad.”

Stoick shook his head and laughed, and the somber tone the conversation had taken seemed to disperse like that. “Next time, I’ll let it surprise you.” He glanced around the docks and the ship, scanning everything. “Well, it looks to me like we’re just about ready to set out here. You get on the ship and I’ll get the loose ends tied up.” With that, he walked off.

Hiccup turned back to Toothless. “Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye, bud.”

Toothless warbled in a very unenthusiastic tone.

“I promise I’ll be back, with a whole new bunch of stories to tell you.” A gathering of Viking chiefs was certainly never boring, as Stoick had often been inclined to share. “I’m sure you will too, since the twins are staying behind.”

At that, Toothless snorted and rolled his eyes.

Hiccup couldn’t help but smile at that. “You never know, you might have too much fun watching them get in trouble to even notice I’m gone.”

Toothless snorted and shook his head. He didn’t sound particularly convinced.

“It’s just for a few weeks, I promise.” Hiccup held out an open hand. Toothless stared at it and hesitated, then leaned his head over until his nose met Hiccup’s palm. “Take care while I’m gone.” He let himself give his best friend a crooked, mischievous smile and wagged a finger at him in warning. “And no helping Ruff and Tuff with their pranks, alright?”

Toothless seemed to raise the draconic equivalent of an eyebrow, but nodded. “Yes.”

With that, Hiccup forced himself up the gangplank and looked for a place to sit. It was going to be a long journey.

So this is probably the last chapter I’m posting to Tumblr before the Log Off Protest. While the next chapter will likely be published on AO3 around the same time next week, I won’t crosspost it to Tumblr until the protest is over and I log back in. After that, crossposting should continue as usual. Thank you!

Next –>

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inawickedlittletown · 6 years

Text

Walking The Wire (108/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Seven

They never found out what had been going on with Loki and Thor because nothing came of their appearance and then disappearance because aside from a blip somewhere in Ireland that wasn’t necessarily them, there was nothing and while Tony waited for the other shoe to drop and something crazy to happen somewhere else in the world, nothing did.

“So, do you think he was just popping in for a visit and didn’t even think to stop by here?” Rhodey asked during a team meeting.

“I don’t know,” Tony said. “And there’s no way to contact him. I called up Jane and she -- well, apparently they broke up sometime before he left the last time and she didn’t have a way to contact him anyway which is sort of why they broke up.”

“But nothing’s happened right,” Sam said. “I mean, no random Asgardians have shown up so--”

“Not since then,” Tony said. “At least not that my satellites picked up anyway. But Coulson or Fury would have mentioned if they heard anything.”

Tony kept paying attention, but nothing outside of the usual happened. Ross’ announcement that Spider-Man was Tony’s son had been a small blip that most people didn’t pay attention to despite all the pictures that Ross had managed to get of Spider-Man coming and going from the tower. Mostly, he just sounded like a conspiracy theorist especially after Tony tweeted that his son was definitely not Spider-Man and that the theory had made Steve laugh. Still, he was sure some people did believe Ross’ story. It was also a concern that Ross was clearly keeping an eye on the tower.

There was a whole thing with the resurgence of AIM in the middle of August but it was such a disorganized mess that they didn’t get very far in even setting themselves up as a threat and Tony had them all rounded up and arrested in the course of an afternoon.

By the time that the summer was actually over, Tony was starting to relax on the Thor front. Peter on the other hand was a tad disappointed that he hadn’t gotten to meet the god yet. It turned out that next to Iron Man, Thor was Peter’s favorite.

“He’s an actual god,” Peter had said, “but also an alien. And just cool. He’s just so cool.”

Sam found the whole thing amusing. “Your kid has good taste at least,” he said, “if he had to crush on any of us.”

“It’s not a crush! I just -- he’s a god, Sam! And the lightning--” Peter trailed off as Sam laughed and Tony tried not to join in.

“He is seriously impressive,” Natasha said in Peter’s defense.

“Yes, exactly,” Peter said.

“Which is why you had a crush on him,” Sam said matter of factly and Peter threw up his arms in the air and Tony knew that he had figured out he couldn’t really say much else to make a difference to the conversation. Mostly, though, Tony loved the level of ease that Peter had with the rest of The Avengers.

But when Peter’s birthday came around, Tony decided that they needed to go on a mini-vacation. Not to get away from anyone, but because Tony wanted to spend some time on his own with Peter away from wedding planning and everything else that was going on at the tower. They went to California because Peter had never been to the West Coast and because Peter had also been interested in seeing the rebuilt Malibu house. It was fun to show Peter around and take him to a few of Tony’s favorite spots. All in all, their vacation was a nice break from the usual. They got back after a couple of weeks away and right in time for Peter to get back to school and Tony to move forward with the new suit. Everything was ready and Tony just needed to have the housing unit put in his chest.

On the night before school was starting up again, Peter was leaning against Tony’s side. There was a movie on, but Tony had long given up on watching it because the plot had changed so drastically that the movie was downright silly and either way, Tony had gotten busy answering emails because Pepper couldn’t understand why Tony was delegating everything to do with SI for the next week or two. Tony still hadn’t told her that he was going to be putting in the housing unit for the nanotech in his chest. He and Shuri both agreed that it was the only way to make it as effective as Tony wanted it to be.

“Is it going to be a long operation?” Peter asked.

Tony looked down at him. “A few hours.”

“I don’t like that I’ll be in school and I won’t be here.”

The whole thing with Thor had really hastened Tony to get the device ready faster. He wanted to be prepared for the next time something happened and things would have been dire if Thor’s return had signaled the beginning of something being wrong. Sure, Tony had his other suits, but the nanotech one was going to be better than any other. Steve and Peter for their part thought that he knew best despite the risk that the surgery would bring him.

“You’ll be here plenty,” Tony assured him. “Nothing is going to go wrong. I have the best doctors on this and we have a good plan for how we’re handling this.”

“Dr. Cho is pretty great,” Peter said with a grin.

Tony wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulders and pulled him closer. “So why did you want to watch this movie again?”

“Ned recommended it,” Peter muttered. “I don’t think I’ll be taking his advice on movies again any time soon.”

Tony laughed. “On that we can agree, kid.”

---

Steve didn’t argue with Tony once Tony decided that he needed to get the housing unit put into his chest. It was Tony’s body and Tony’s decision and while Steve did voice his questions and got Tony to think about the pros and cons, he left it up to Tony because Tony knew best when it came to his suits. The device was different than the arc reactor, anyway, in that it wasn’t working to keep Tony alive. Looking at the ring with the shrapnel that had almost killed Tony, reminded Steve of how much Tony had gone through and survived.

He was with Tony during the operation, holding his hand while Dr. Cho and her team worked on Tony with a combination of Dr. Cho’s tech and Shuri’s as well. It brought down the risk for the procedure considerably. When it was over a few hours later and the whole thing was successful, Steve let out a sigh of relief.

“Good,” he said.

The whole thing was taking place in the compound since the facility had a medical wing and Tony had gone ahead and added an operating room to it too. It meant that Tony was going to be staying at the compound for a few days even if that was more of a precaution than anything, but it was better for him to not have to travel to the tower while fresh out of his operation. Steve had insisted on being there so his anklet was off. The FBI had only checked in on them once since putting the anklets on and the only reason they showed up in the first place was that Sam’s had malfunctioned. It was lucky that they were all in the tower at the time, not that Fury had been sending them on a lot of missions lately. Things were on the quiet side.

“He’ll be asleep for a little longer,” Helen said. “We’ll move him somewhere comfortable. You can call Peter in, if you want.”

“I’ll go get him,” Steve said and leaned over to kiss Tony’s forehead first.

Helen smiled at him.

When he returned with Peter in tow, Tony had been moved into one of the rooms in the medical wing. Tony was still asleep, but he looked peaceful all tucked into bed.

“Everything went perfectly, Peter,” Helen said. “He’ll be awake in an hour or two. Myself or someone from my team will come check in.”

“I’m glad,” Peter said as Helen grabbed a few things and walked out of the room. “I was actually a little worried,” he admitted to Steve. “I just -- I’ve lost all the father figures in my life and he was doing this and I was worried.”

Peter walked to stand by Tony’s bed and Steve moved forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You dad rarely does anything that isn’t for a reason. And if he had suspected that this was any riskier than it needed to be he wouldn’t have done it because the last thing he wants is to leave you. Shuri and Helen worked this out and you know how smart they are.”

“I know,” Peter said and looked up at Steve. “I just couldn’t help it. And thanks for helping me get out of school today. Dad just kept saying how I didn’t need to be here.”

“Yeah, well, he hates that we fuss about him.”

---

Taking it easy was boring. At least, it wasn’t bed rest. Tony could move around and he could go to the workshop but he was limited by how long he could work and how much he could lift or really do which ultimately just made him grumpy. Steve was also hovering for most of his time in there and jumping in to do things for him which Tony had found endearing at first but then kind of frustrating. So, he was happy to be back to normal a month and a half later even if Steve still seemed a bit wary of him doing much. Pepper was worse. She had started to just show up to make sure he was okay every other day right after Tony moved back to the tower and she’d fussed and fussed over him after telling him off for putting the housing unit in his chest in the first place until Tony had enough.

“You know,” Steve said one afternoon, “it’s almost been a year since I came back.”

“It has,” Tony said. A full year. It had been more than a year since the whole fiasco with The Vulture too. They were lucky that there hadn’t been any big villain like that popping up since but even if there had been, Tony was confident that Peter would have been able to handle it.

Training with Steve and the team in general had made a huge difference to Peter’s capabilities as Spider-Man. Peter didn’t use the Iron Spider suit often, opting for his other suit over that one most of the time, but he had gotten so much better with his powers and just his physicality because he wasn’t just following his instincts which were often good, he was doing more. Strategizing and thinking his plans through and really knowing his strengths and weaknesses and using that knowledge to do things in the best way possible.

“And it hasn’t been all bad,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I half expected you to get too bored to stay.”

“I’ve found that life can’t be boring when you’re in it. But, not just that, it makes a difference that we’re together. You’ve made this worth it and it’s just one more year, Tony.”

“We better hope nothing crazy happens before then,” Tony said. “I thought Thor coming back meant--”

Steve nodded. “I know. I know. I did too. I just wonder what the whole point of it was. He wouldn’t have shown up and left that quickly without there being some reason and I just don’t trust that Loki was with him. Wasn’t he supposed to be dead?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “That’s what Thor said.”

“Jane was confused about that too. She seemed concerned -- but she hasn’t called which means she hasn’t found anything alarming. At least I have this thing now,” Tony said and tapped his chest. “It makes me feel a little better about any possible threats.”

It was Tony’s fear -- and had been since going through that wormhole -- that they’d be faced with something from outside their world again. Even if nothing came to pass, he wanted them to be prepared. After all, he’d seen what some of those aliens could do and create and it was only a matter of time before Earth became a target again. Loki being alive -- he’d been the one behind the attack in New York. Of course, helped by the stone in the scepter but nevertheless one of the reasons. Thor had said he was leaving to find out more about the stones and...and maybe it was what he was still trying to figure out. It worried Tony.

Chapter One Hundred Nine

#peter and tony #peter and tony fic #mcuwriting #mcu fic #iron dad #iron dad and spider son #stony #stony fic #marvel

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Oh fuck i cant stand this

Ive already almost used up my damn mobile data again and i only bought it yesterday. Fuck i want to go home. You guys are like the only comfort i have here and i dunno what im gonna do when i cant message you again

Fuckin hell stupid shit day! I was supposed to go to a therapy class thing today but the stupid bus went past where my abusive father lives and i had a MASSIVE FREAKOUT and had to go home and then ofcourse to go home you have to go back on the stupid same bus!! I fuckib failed and wasted the doctor's time and he had to grab me to stop me from running off the bus crying and back to fuckin hell dad's house because im shit and i deserve everything he ever did to me

AND THEN fuckin same doctor continues the relentless constant tide of everyone misgendering me and making crass transphobic jokes

"You see you've gotta understand the other opinion" he says, as if trans people werent fuckin raised SURROUNDED by cis people's predjudiced opinion of us and taught it was fact. As if it didnt take me SO MUCH WORK to even become confident enough to stand up for myself! I've gotta see the 'other opinion' that "yknow well families and children use public bathrooms and theyre scared trans people will molest their children so its understandable they want to kick you out or even act violent to you". Yknow the OTHER OPINION that MY OPINION DOESNT MATTER and also MY ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS A CRIME but i'm the one being predjudiced for not accepting that OPINION, right?! Im here trying to tell him that no that isnt rational because there have been LITERALLY NO RECORDED CASES of trans people molesting children in public bathrooms, or even "evil men faking being trans" to do the same thing. There's been more cases of actual cis men breaking into women's bathrooms to drag women out for merely LOOKING trans. More cis women have been harassed because of anti trans laws than they ever did before! But hey "respect that other opinion", right? And also "at least its not as bad as russia" and "but gay pride is everywhere now, that one footballer had rainbow shoelaces." Hey wow i never noticed that not only was homophobia totally over but also transphobia was remotely related to that! Wow! I seriously had to bring out the fuckin 1600s historical investigation on pre-british olde englishe that showed the existance of a gender neutral pronoun before the word "he" ever existed, and the existance of transgender pride and pronoun discussions in the 1800s before the word transgender was even popularized. I cant believe i fuckin had to do a 'show your sources that queer people existed before the internet' IN REAL LIFE. WITH A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I can point at the damn NHS website but nooooo!

Oh and yknow what got me the most? YKNOW WHAT GOT ME THE MOST?? "We have sick people here, you cant expect them to remember stuff like that. Dont ruin their recovery by bringing up stuff like that." Like..fuckin..IM A FUCKIN PATIENT TOO. I wasnt even asking the other patients to stop hurting me i was asking you the staff to maybe consider it! And seriously you want me to be so super ultra perpetually prepared and perpetually rational and able to keep my existance secret and out of every conversation yet theyre too ill to learn about lgbt people existing? Just a sentence would be too painful? And me living every day being misgendered doesnt impact my ability to recover at all, eh? Fuckin shitting fuck hell.

And i hate it i HATE IT because he's being nice so i'll be the bad guy if i complain. Likehe fuckin..doesnt even know he's being rude and doesnt want to consider the idea. He says 'i dont like your tone' if i suggest the concept and FUCK in that moment i was so fuckin scared he was gonna hit me like my dad did. Or at tge very least kick me out of the hospital if i dont cooperate with him. He just fuckin..thinks he's perfectly unbiased and accepts everyone and "oh but i like to make fun of everyone equally". And i even fuckin raised the subject that people who say that often only make fun of minorities and never themselves, the majority, or major power structures. And he's just like 'yeah yeh i hate people like that'. Whoosh. Rigjt over the head. God i wasnt even TRYING to be passive aggressive i was trying tk outright tell him why what he said was upsetting me but NOPE. Trying to explain how its just so hard and tiring to have to verrrrrry patientlyyyyy explain yourself to EVERYONE EVERY DAY CONSTANTLY while they sling loads of rude words at you and it should be just allowed because they 'dont know better'. Like you ask me to educate you but at the same time im rude if i actually tell you?? And god i also tried to explain how the fuckin bathroom violence thing isnt an example of 'educating another opinion' AGAIN by saying like... If someone just asked me to explain being transgender i would. If someone just said they were uncomfortable i would leave. That's 'another opinion'. Reacting with slurs and violence to a trans person existing and not doing anything to you is not 'another opinion' and its not someone who 'just didnt know'. He was seriously trying to argue that it WASNT BIGOTED it was just someone rationally being afraid for their children because of a danger that doesnt exist, and rationally reacting with extreme violence rather than doing anything else. Rationally. RATIONALLY. oh just MISTAKENLY committing a hate crime! Cos they just didnt know trans people exist! Not cos they hate us! Oh no! Yeah sure we totally have a fucking DUTY to educate these POOR UNKNOWING PEOPLE while theyre attacking us, and its our damn fault if we didnt...

And just fucking FUCK i hate how someone can say all that stuff and still be "nice" and still not hate me personally? Like its so messed up?? He's not anti trans or anything he just has so much more damn sympathy for cis people than trans people, and puts all the onus on us to somehow prevent our own murders. And he thinks that "i dont have a problem with trans people" means doing LITERALLY NOTHING to change your behaviour to make trans people feel accepted. They should just magically know that your jokes are jokes when theyre surrounded by so many people saying it honestly, in CONSTANT FEAR OF THAT EXACT THING LEADING TO VIOLENCE. And like in order to be "a guy who has no problem with trans people" he has to do nothing, while in order for me to be not bigoted against HIM it means i have to never get offended by his jokes and also never talk about myself and also constantly educate him about things because he doesnt want to learn, even though he works in a hospital thats supposed to have an anti discrimination policy. Like fuckin just NOT HURTING LGBT PEOPLE doesnt make you discrimination free, shit like telling me to misgender myself because my pronouns would confuse the other patients is kinda fuckin fucked up. Also "that's a question for later" is all i CONSTANTLY get when it comes to talking about legal name changes or therapy or even just talking to an lgbt support group. I have to wait until i stop being depressed because oh no im talking about too many mental illnesses at once. Its been seven years and i havent fuckin stopped being depressed, bitch! Ever consider a fuckin symptom of gender dysphoria is a big ol fat depression!!! And just gahhhhh he was so fuckin baffled and angry that i would dare to get emotional about the subject?? Like he just saw DEBATING WHETHER TRANS PEOPLE ARE REAL and WHETHER PEOPLE WHO MURDER THEM FOR USING THE BATHROOM ARE JUSTIFIED as a perfectly normal casual discussion that a Non Transphobic Man could have with his transgender friend. Why oh why would i cry about this casual hypothetical discussion? Hey its not like it fuckin affects me directly! "Well its never happened to you right?" A Ha Ha Ha Ha. Also fuckin "so which bathroom do you use?" and "well you're not really transgender if youre not getting the surgery-oh wait you do want the surgery? How does that work then?" I swear i could just see the gears turning in his head and he was about to say "do you want both down there". Gahhhhhh *cringes myself into a tiny tumbleweed and blows away*

Also the entire time he kept calling being trans a sexuality and also asexuality. "No youre not trans youre asexual right?" Yeah sure ive just been saying im trans and saying im not a girl and wearing a chest binder and talking this entire conversation about my experiences as a trans person in public bathrooms just to pull an elaborate prank on you. And like i know what he meant is that he thought the word for nonbinary was asexual (has asexuality REALLY made so little progress towards getting into the sex ed curriculum in the entire 25 years of my life?) But like seriously he was like "youre not really trans if youre nonbinary". And then fuck dude i dont wanna explain how surgery works to you!! And especially not also my entirely unrelated sexuality that has entirely different equally upsetting predjudices!

Ans gahhhh fuck i just got no sympathy for crying and he acted as if it was just some wildly unexpected occurance he never could have predicted. And i hate it cos he's nice to me whenever the subject is about anything else. I cant get any symoathey from ANYONE because he's A NICE GUY and why dont i just understaaaaaand other opinionnnnnns

I wanted to fuckin quit this whole thing on the spot and go home. Only reason i cant is because my support worker is off work until thursday auauauaughhh

Fuck at least one positive i guess is that ive made progress in the social anxiety or at least gotten better at giving the impression im making progress. Cos i want to LEAVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. And also fuck all my other worries seem less suicide-inducing when im actually getting the closest ive ever been to killing myself on a daily basis because of a stupid other thing that i never could have predicted. Go here for one form of self hate, come home with another! Yayyyyy

And fuck i havent even made a single bit of progress on drawing or writing anything and i cant practise making ganes cos my laptop cant run rpgmaker and i havent even started reading my giant pile of books cos they fuckin LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW EVERY SINGLE HOUR TO MAKE SURE YOU AINT KILLED YOURSELF. i have no fuckin pribacy and its making me wanna kill myself even more!! I just live constantly on edge looking at the fuckin door window and i cant even do anything to distract myself because im too scared of them looking at me!! Or barging in at no notice to tell me i have to do some big stressful thing RIGHT NOW because i dont even get advance notice of anything aaaa! And fuck i dont have anywhere to go to even calm down from a panic attack cos i have no privacy so at least im getting over being scared of going outside cos outside is the only place i can go to cry. Fuckin strangers in the crowd at least wont cause shit if they see me.

Fuck i want to go home. Fuck i wish i had enough money to keep buying mobile internet. Its like fuckin 750mb a day to run tumblr but its all ive got to talk to any person who doesnt hate me or patronize me or think im faking a bunch of shit or whatever the fuck. And im not even any fun to be around when im like this so im probably just ruining your day too. And im probably gonna vanish again soon and then just go back to crying alone and getting worse and probably never being able to leave

I knew it was gonna be stressdul but i didnt predict any of this.. I just wanna fuckin die. I wanted to jump out the car and go to my old dad's house and have him pull open the door and slap me around a bit. Like call me a fucking dyke, call me a sick retard, be honest about your feelings! I'd fuckin take being abused over this "oh youre the bad one for being mad because i had goooood intentions" reverse psychology bigotry from hell. Either these people are evil geniuses or theyre even more stupid like me. Fuckin shit dad please manifest in my room and slap me, killing me instantly. I feel like being scared of you would at least be a faster emotion than this nebulous sensation of confusing unease and dysphoria 24/7 for 6 fuckin months. One week done, haha! Hahahabahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahshshshahshahahahhahahaaaa

#suicide mention #im sorry #all their no privacy shit doesnt even work cos i was just left alone all night when i wanted to kill myself #and took then three days to notice the wound on my arm #didnt cut my veins or anything dangerous i just couldnt stop scratching #at my skin for an hour and now there's a bit of a mess there #but its scabbed over so its fine #i drew all over the other arm to keep from hurting myself again #i thought i was okay after that nice experience at the build a bear workshop but im even #worse today cos now i k ow the staff are just fuckin fine with transphobia and im gonna just have to #shut my mouth i guess #fuck just look forward to the art classes whenever i finally get to do them #but i was looking forward to the class today and then i couldnt do it cos i got all scared of dad #fuckkkkkkk

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thetravelerwrites · 6 years

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Daughters (A Stranger Things Drabble)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Stranger Things Words: 1855

One of my few non-terato related stories, about a year and a half old. This is a stand alone fic about Hopper showing Eleven the birth certificate from Dr. Owens and explaining what it means. Hopper opens up about his lost daughter, Sara. Feedback is appreciated.

Eleven sat on the couch covered in a thick blanket, watching a particularly old western that made very little sense to her, when she heard the special knock on the door.

Without taking her eyes off of the T.V., she reached out mentally and snapped open the four slide locks and the deadbolt with little effort. She heard Hopper enter the cabin, tap his boots against the door frame, and shut the door, though she didn’t turn to look at him. He had gone on his off-day without telling her why, and that, in her experience, was never a good thing. She was a little apprehensive to learn what exactly he’d been up to while he was away.

He stepped around the couch to turn the T.V. off and then sat down beside her, laying two envelopes on the coffee table. One was slim and white, and the second was big, brown, and overflowing.

“What’s that?” Eleven asked, nodding her head at them.

He didn’t answer right away. He sat hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his mustache with his right hand, looking down at the brown envelope.

“I went to see Dr. Owens today,” Hopper mumbled from behind his hand.

Eleven’s heart rate accelerated in alarm.

“Bad man,” Eleven said in a nervous whisper.

“Nah, he ain’t all bad,” Hopper said. “He had something for me. Well, it’s for both of us, actually.” He reached for the white envelope and handed it to her. She took it gingerly.

Opening it, she pulled out a blue paper with writing she didn’t understand. “‘Cert…certificate of birth?’ What does that mean?”

“It’s a paper the parents get when a baby is born. Then when that baby gets old enough, they keep it. It’s proof.”

“Proof of what?”

“Life. Existence.” Hopper turned to her. “It shows who your parents are, where you came from.“ He pointed. “It’s also got a social security number.”

“What’s that for?”

“In American, you have to have a social security number to do just about anything. Go to school, get a job, etc. That number is your whole life.”

She frowned at the digits on the page, then the ones on her arm. “Another number.”

“Yeah,” Hopper laughed. “We all got ‘em, kid. I guess most of us are lucky that it’s not our name, too.” He jerked his chin at the paper. “Keep reading.”

“‘This certifies that in the state of Indiana, Jane Hop…’” She looked up at him. “Hopper?”

He nodded solemnly.

“‘Was born in Hawkins, child of Teresa Ives, Mother, and James Hopper… Father.” She looked back at him and lowered the paper, though still clutched it in her fingers. “I don’t understand. What does this mean?”

“Means it’s official,” Hopper said. “We’re family. You’re kinda stuck with me now. Sorry ‘bout that.”

She shook her head, but didn’t say anything. She was feeling a lot of things she hadn’t experienced before and couldn’t properly name, and was having difficulty sorting through them. She stared hard at the paper for a few minutes. Hopper watched her quietly; he seemed to be giving her space to process all this and room to react. Perhaps preparing for a storm, if she wasn’t happy about the arrangement.

After a few minutes, she folded the paper again and gave it back, which he placed on the table next to the large brown envelope.

“What is that?” She asked.

Again, he didn’t answer immediately, and when he did, it was with a very heavy sigh.

“Well... since we’re family now, I figured I should introduce you two.”

He reached into the brown envelope and pulling out everything that was inside it. There were drawings, old elementary work sheets, coloring pages, but most of it was pictures. Sifting through, he extracted a photograph of a small, blonde-haired, blue-eyed child, wearing a frilly blue dress, smiling widely. Her curly hair was pulled up into two pigtails with aqua blue bands.

“Is that Sara?” Eleven asked tentatively.

Hopper nodded. “This was her first grade class photo. Just a month or two before everything went to shit.” He found another photo, in this one, Hopper was sitting with Sara and a blonde haired, blue-eyed woman who strongly resembled Sara. Hopper was clean-shaven in the picture, and they were all smiling.

Eleven pointed to the woman.

“That’s Diane,” Hopper said. “We were married. Then Sara died. Then we weren’t married anymore.”

“Why?”

“My fault mostly,” Hopper said, staring at the picture. “She wanted to move on, try and get her life back, but I couldn’t let go. I started drinkin’, lost my job because I stopped showing up, all kinds of things that she quite understandably didn’t want to deal with. I wouldn’t have wanted to deal with me, either.”

“Where is she?”

“Philadelphia. She got remarried a few years ago, had herself a new little baby boy. She’s doing good. She’s happy.”

He reached into the pile of papers and drew out another certificate, like the one Hopper got from Owens, but from a different state. The name on the top line was “Sara.”

“She’d be your sister,” He said, staring at the type font as though he couldn’t see anything else. “She’d have loved a sister.”

The emotions that had been swirling in Eleven’s body had settled, and of the remaining ones, the most prominent was sorrow. “What was she like?”

Hopper’s chin shook, and she thought he might not be able to talk about it, but he said, “She was so smart. Smarter than me. Got it from her mom, I guess. She’s so interested in science and space and all that stuff.” He plucked at the aqua blue bracelet around his wrist. A tear fell from his eye and disappeared into his beard.

“She was gonna grow up to be a paleontologist and also an astronaut doctor. Not an astronaut that was also a doctor, a doctor that only treated astronauts.“ He smiled. “She was gonna have thirty kids, but she wasn’t gonna get married cause boys were gross. She was going to do so many things.” More tears fell, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. “She never got the chance to do anything.”

Emotions can be infectious, especially when the person exhibiting them was so stoic and self-contained ordinarily. Eleven could feel tears on her own cheeks as Hopper spoke.

“Her birthday was April 17th,” He said. “She would have been seven if she had made it that long. She nearly made it.” The tears were falling freely now. He didn’t even attempt to wipe them away. Eleven wondered if he had ever said these things to anyone. She knew vaguely that most people in town didn’t even know he had had a daughter.

“A few months after, I came home and Diane was packing up Sara’s room. Just pulling down everything and stuffing it into boxes. I asked what she was doing… and she said she was donating it. That she couldn’t stand looking at it all every day. And I got so… angry. It was like she was just throwing her away and I couldn’t believe she could do that. I over-did it a little; I yelled a lot, started throwing things. That’s when she kicked me out for the last time. That,” He pointed to the pile. “Was all I managed to save. That’s all that’s left of Sara.

“Well,” He said, “That and this.” He pulled the bracelet off of his wrist and toyed with it a little. ”She used to wear these stretchy blue hair bands, like, every day. She had all kinds of different bows and hair things she could’ve worn, but she always wanted these.

“One day, while she was on chemo, she pulled them out so she could take a bath, and all her hair came with them. After that, she couldn’t wear them anymore. I was going to throw them away, but she made them into a little bracelet and had me wear it. She said she wanted to save them for when her hair grew back.”

His face crumpled. Holding the little blue bracelet in both hands, he pressed it against his forehead and wept.

Eleven pulled herself up to her knees and hugged Hopper around the shoulders, crying into his neck. They stayed that way for some time.

When Eleven drew back, inexplicably, the blue bracelet was now circling her wrist. She looked at Hopper questioningly as she reached to pull it off.

He stopped her. “No, you should have it,” He said. “She’d want you to have it. I want you to have it, too. We’re family now.”

She smiled and her lip quivered. She nodded and looked at the bracelet. A tenuous connection to a sister she’d never meet. She looked at the two certificated on the table.

“Sara was your daughter,” Eleven said slowly, carefully. “Does this mean that I am, too?”

“Yeah,” He said, regaining composure. “That’s exactly what that paper means. You’re my daughter. I’m your dad. Officially.”

“Just officially?” Eleven said.

Hopper shook his head. “No, not just officially. If you want, it could be for real.”

“For real,” Eleven repeated. “Not like Papa.”

“No, not like Papa,” Hopper said seriously. “I know he wanted you to call him that, but was there ever a time when he called you his daughter? Treated you like a dad is supposed to?”

Eleven shook her head emphatically.

“No, because he doesn’t even know what it means. I doubt he’s ever really loved anything. Certainly not you.” Hopper looked down at the two certificates. “I loved Sara. And I love you, too, kid.”

Eleven had never once in her entire life heard those words. The swirl of emotions was back, but this time, the most out-standing one was joy. Incapable of speech, all she could do was smile and cry.

Hopper reached out an arm and Eleven hugged him around the middle, resting her head on his chest. He squeezed her tight with both arms and planted a peck on the top of her head. After some time had passed, they let go of each other, but she took his hand and held it. They both needed the comfort of touch right then.

Eleven dared to picked up a drawing and asked Hopper what it meant. He told her it was supposed to be a dog-velociraptor, laughing. It went on like this for several hours: Eleven would choose something from the pile, and Hopper would explain what it was; tell little, loving stories about Sara’s brief life, and then he would put it back into the envelope.

When they had gone through the entirety of the pictures and papers, all that was left were the two certificates sitting side by side on the table. The only thing they had in common was the line, “James Hopper: Father.” He folded them and put them both in the brown envelope and sealed it. This wasn’t just old memories anymore. It was proof, just like Hopper had said. The love of a man for his daughters.

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cryptidofthekeys · 2 years

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Thought I would share some news!

My cat is sick,has been for 2 weeks but due to $ (and a panic attack on my end) we were able to get a vet to see him and to get him medicine. My sweet baby now has a cone of shame and 3 antibiotics he takes. 2 for his eyes and one he takes w his food. Ive been giving him his medicine with wetfood mixed w a bit of dry kibble and water. I know wet food is already wet but considering he was having a hard time motivating himself to drink water,I'm making sure he stays hydrated.

We started his meds this last Sunday and hes already improving. His skin still is red and has ALOT of yellow flakes but now they are falling and it is no longer oozing and festering. He isnt fond of his cone but he doesn't fight it. He hates his eye drops and always tries to get away from them,and I understand, drops are scary! He doesnt know why he has to have them! But he doesnt claw Me or bite. He just tries to pull away. It takes 30 min to do each eye but thats not due to the pulling away. I always give him a moment to calm down before I do each one. I pet and talk to him and let him know hes being a very good boy and is being so brave! He trusts me enough to know I'm not doing this to hurt him.

When we took him to the vet he was a good boy even then(though mom says it was just because he knew he was sick and I wouldnt take him anywhere if it would cause him harm,) Usually he claws or nips vets,but this time he just Loafed and let them poke and prod all they wished.

Today he managed to climb in my lap and cuddle. I nearly cried cause he had been in so much pain,he couldn't cuddle with me. And i knew he hated that as much as I did because we ALWAYS cuddle. Ive had him since before his eyes and ears were fully open,I found him outside abandoned by mom and about to be killed by a Tom cat,so I bottle fed him and took care of him. Even had to clean and massage his tum and butt to get him to potty with cotton balls cause kittens that tiny can't do that themselves,I kept him warm and comforted via my body heat and a kitty safe heating pad,only slept at about an hour at a time to make sure he got fed and cleaned and burped and stayed warm. So there hasnt been many moments where I haven't been there to snuggle him and kiss his forehead.

So today he got snuggle time and I took a warm damp corner of a clean rag to gently clean him. I also made sure to clean his bed of the fur and skin flakes that were on it.

I also only take his cone off to let him eat and drink cause he's too little to reach the bowl with the thing on(he also just refuses to)and I make sure to talk to him and pet him.

Sorry for the ramble I just really love my cat and wanna share about him getting better.

When his infection caused one of his pupils to look fully blown,I panicked because I assumed he might be having some sort of brain issue and I litterally called like 6 diff emergency vets at 12am to see if I could get him scene. I was fully prepared to drive 2 hours into flordia if it meant he would get treatment the moment I entered the doors. I was scared id have to put him down. Luckily its just a bacterial infection and is easily tended too.

My poor mother was about to go to sleep when I told her we HAD to go to the Doc ASAP.

She was raised "Its JUST a animal" kinda mentality but she knows how important Tot is to me so she drove me 2 towns over to the closest emergency vet with him.

But yeah! My kitty is getting better and in happy.

Honestly, when I see people willing to go the distance, to the ends of the earth essentially for their animals, that usually shows me what kind of person they are right there, you’ve got a good heart friendo- I know the feeling of panic, back when I had my lil shih tzu, Nibble- he was sick one night, it wasnt SUPER late but he wasnt eating or drinking and he just looked so sick, my dad rushed him to the vet bc I was having a full blown panic, i didnt get a n y sleep hardly that night, luckily he was doing better the next day though, cant remember what the vet said it was sadly.

...I miss that lil shit every day, he passed back in 2017 right as we were about to go on vacation which we still went but i just couldnt bring myself to have fun, i remember the first moment we got into the cabin bc i was literally crying the entire fucking ride and even there, my aunt immediately came over and hugged me, she knows the feeling though, she lost her baby a long time ago as well- it’s always so scary when an animal gets sick bc i mean that,, that is LITERALLY your baby, that ‘its just a dog’ or ‘its just a cat’ mentality? I dont trust people like that and I NEVER will

But I am very very happy and glad to hear that your kitty is getting better- Tot is a cute name, I feel bad for him being in pain for those moments poor bby, but at the very least- hes doing better, eating and hydrating, oof tho the d r o p s... I understand his fear, those things are scary af but it’ll help, also the cone of shame oh boy- almost every time I see a cat with one of those on they look i n c r e d i b l y pissed lmao

And another thing, the fact you’ve had him for that long, that you rescued him- I do love to hear rescue stories- if ya could ever take a look at some of my youtube recs you’d see tons of rescue videos lmao- but all in all, poor bby went through so much in just one moment it seems- but I am very glad that he’s doing better friendo! I hope you can rest easy now and not panic now that he’s doing better :)

#tw animal death mention #tw sick animal mention #i gotta tag this accordingly bc i know it can be triggering for some to hear about stuff like this #thank you friendo GB69 <3 #i hope lil Tot continues to flourish my friend <3

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hazcoms · 3 years

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A little info and backstory on Hazcom DILF, my crush, who I tag as M.

He is a safety instructor, now exclusively for wind energy students it seems, at the tech school I go to. He was one of the two guys who gave us our class on hazcom and fire safety in nursing school (which was in 2018), probably the best day of school I had in that class. I had so much fun in that class, and it didnt help that I like M a lot.

When I first saw him, I knew I was going to have a problem bc this guy was my type. Dark hair with a bit of grey, scruffy facial hair, attractive outfit, and just the energy he possessed. His voice was interesting, one of the girls in class compared it to Steve O, but he also had a southern-ish accent so that made things funnier with that comparison.

He and the other instructor, we'll call him "Fire Guy" or "S," were hilarious. Not only as people themselves, but also as a team. They took jabs at each other and us as well. Although, M seemed to be a little less...I dont know, not mean, but rather...teasing? When he talked. I really dont know how to describe it. But S teased us far more than M did.

M and S both know my father, apparently, and that made me feel even more awkward about my growing attraction to M. Other than asking me about him and asking me a question about smoke during a slideshow, they did not really call me out. I was still pretty shy and quiet at that point, but if I had the class now I'm sure I would have been louder and participated more.

Anyways, the class started with one of our nursing teachers guiding us to the building where we had the class. It's detached from the main building, and to get to it you have to climb up a little hill made of big gravel and go past a weird object that S called "a rocket ship." It's a big cylindrical thing and I have no clue what it actually is and I havent had the courage to ask anybody what it is in all my years at this school.

Walking past the rocket ship, we were dive bombed by a flock of pigeons that apparently live inside the thing, and it scared all of us and it felt like resident evil. You know, the crows in 1 and 0 that come at you for breathing wrong? That's how it felt. So we ran the rest of the way.

In the building, it was freezing. Like 40 degrees. It was a good thing I wore a jacket, but others were not so lucky and they had to occasionally go outside to get warm. Later on in the class if we complained about how cold it was, they would turn down the temperature even more to make it colder. Funny, but irritating. We all sat down, and since none of us really knew each other, we sat sporadically at different tables. Some of us, including myself, were by ourselves. I was happy with that.

The first teacher to come in was S. M came in a few minutes later, but I didnt know he was M, his name was said by my teacher to be our instructor but since S was more talkative and acted like he was the teacher, I assumed he was M. But he wasnt, obviously.

As the two instructors prepared to teach us or whatever, they played a video of like...fail compilations for whatever reason. And that changed to a more safety focused thing when the video they played was a fail compilation themed around people setting themselves on fire. As a huge Jackass fan, I found this hilarious. Then they played the fire safety scene from the Office, and then a video known as Highway to Hazmat Hell (Watch here). If you don't want to watch it, it's basically a truck carrying cylinders under pressure which start falling off and a bunch of explosions and crashes happen while Highway to Hell by AC/DC plays. Great video.

After the video was done, M came to the front of the room and put his backpack down on the table, then sat/leaned on it. S went to the podium and began introducing himself and what the class would be about. I watched M the whole time, entranced by how attractive he is. The teacher really had to be hot and me get a crush? I thought I left that shit in middle school. But apparently not.

After S told us about himself, then he introduced M as "6'3, 170 lbs, and single" (still not sure that the first two are true although he is rather tall) and a few other things. When he said he was single, I felt myself turn all warm. I avoided looking at him. And it was true that he was single, because M had gotten divorced recently and said that he preferred being single. I didnt really care though considering I have no chance with him and I'm already in a lifelong relationship. Even if I wasnt, he knows my father and is old enough to BE my father. I wouldnt date him but I admit I would hook up with him had I been single myself and the circumstance occurred.

Anyways, he told us his life story, and then we got to introduce ourselves. This was where I found out they know my dad, because I said my last name and M looked at me and smirked and said "oh, shes (dads name) kid!" And S was like "oh yeah" and something else I didnt pay attention to because my face was on fire from M even paying attention to me and I became all shy.

After we all introduced ourselves, the slideshow on fire safety began. The first question S asked was, "what elements are needed to start a fire?" A girl in my class, one of the funniest, said, "uhh...fire?" I get where shes coming from, fire is an element in the four elements sense, but he meant like..chemicals or whatever.

So we all had a good laugh at her, and she happens to be from Texas so they would attribute her "stupidity" to that. S told us what is actually needed for a fire to start, and talked more about that. Then came to the subject of smoke, and S asked us what smoke is. Texas girl said "its smoke." We all laughed again, and S was just rolling his eyes and laughing. I dont think he genuinely thought she was stupid, because she isnt, but he wanted to laugh at her being "dumb."

The lecture continued and eventually we noticed this windowed room beyond a glass door attached to this room was beginning to look hazy. We pointed it out in concern, thinking that maybe they were testing us, but S was like "oh it's just humidity" and we went on with the lecture. Eventually the haze got super super noticeable and M and S called us out on it, asked us why we didn't do anything about the smoke, but it ended up that it was a smoke machine they were using to fuck with us. Which was, admittedly, pretty funny.

Later on, S told us we were going down to the shop to practice using a real fire extinguisher. Not the powder ones, just a water one, since powder would make a mess and fuck with the oxygen. So we all went to climb down that gravel hill, only to realize there was a sidewalk that went up it and M was like "you guys can go that way but I'll walk on the sidewalk like a normal person" which made me laugh and also annoyed at myself for choosing the gravel hill, because it slides down when you walk on it and I almost fell like multiple times.

So we got to the shop and there was this little box thing connected to a propane tank, it looked almost like part of a grill. M explained that it can be controlled to light on fire, similarly to a grill, and the fire can be put out using the same controls or a fire extinguisher. It's used specifically for fire extinguisher training apparently.

S went and filled up the fire extinguishers with water, as they were empty, then brought them out and showed us how to use them. But honestly, me and Texas girl and another girl we will call F were all paying attention to M. More on that later. Anyways, S asked why we were distracted and one girl was like "Texas girl is trying to get M's snapchat" which was a joke, I don't think he even had one.

Next came our time to use the fire extinguishers- we ALL had to do it and it was in front of everyone. Less than half of the class got to put out the fire on the magic training box, which was controlled by M, before it started raining. Like a literal downpour of rain, right out of nowhere. Along with the rain getting us wet (no pun intended irt M) it kept putting out the fire training box, PLUS there was some kind of problem with the gas and the fire training box.

So S sent us with M back to the building so he could figure out what was wrong with the fire training box. M then taught us the hazcom lessons- bloodborne pathogens, PPE, hazmat procedure, MSDS, placards and their meanings, etc. Then he got into the storytelling phase, which was the most entertaining thing.

First he told this story about a guy he either knew or someone he knew knew, who died from rat poison. Then he talked a bit about his time in the oilfield before moving to wind energy, and he told us about how one time they had this bottle of methanol in what looked like a water bottle, and one of his coworkers came in and just started drinking it. Like, he didn't notice it was in fact NOT water and WAS methanol, and just kept drinking it. M did not elaborate on the fate of this guy, but I can't imagine it was good.

Now came the best story. Liquid Fire. Liquid Fire is an infamous drain cleaning chemical that if you Google it, will show results of news about bad things happening with it. But they do still sell it, I found some in a hardware store and took a selfie with it which I intend to show to M if I ever see him again. Anyways, the story began with M's bath/shower drain being clogged for seemingly no reason, until he found out it was because his kids kept shoving their bath toys down the drain. M tried traditional drain cleaners and other methods, but none worked, so he went to this local hardware place (which my mom has a vendetta against because the people who work there are apparently real cunts) and found a product called Liquid Fire. He claimed that seeing it had a skull and crossbones on it made him sure it would work well.

One of the employees warned M that Liquid Fire was strong, and to only use a certain amount each time. But M said that he was stupid because he's a man and ignored this advice, using much more Liquid Fire than necessary. But the stuff worked, it unclogged the drain, so he continued to use it. Until one day, his bathroom started smelling weird, and he couldn't figure out why. So he hired a plumber, and the plumber looked at the drain.

The plumber then told M that the smell was because his shower water was draining directly under the house and stagnating. M asked why. Plumber explained that his pipes? Gone. Disappeared. Not there. After some investigation, they discovered that it was the Liquid Fire which destroyed the PVC pipes completely, it is THAT corrosive and he used THAT much of it. The reason it worked so well on the bath toy problem was because it was literally dissolving the plastic toys, and when it got done with them, it moved on to the pipes.

After M told the story he paused for laughter, which we did a lot of, and from then on Liquid Fire became a running joke between me and F, and a story I'd reference all the time, even to people who weren't there. We then went over a bit more stuff that I don't remember exactly, and S came back in saying the rain had stopped and the fire box was working again.

Well, part of that was true. The fire box wasn't working again, but using some kind of gas and a cigarette lighter from one of my classmates, S got it working again. The class then got to continue putting out the fire, and guess who was dead last? Yeah, me. Back then, I was a scrawny little thing. I'm 5'1, and then I was a size 00 XS who weighed 90 pounds and carried all that weight in her breasts (still where most of my weight is btw). So yeah, I had some trouble picking up the fire extinguisher. They're heavier than you think. S had to literally stand behind me and help me hold the damn thing- it was embarrassing enough being last, but being the only girl in class who could hold the extinguisher herself? Even worse.

I can only imagine how flustered I would've been if M had been the one holding me and the extinguisher. I may have just passed out. Anyways, I get to finally use the extinguisher!! By then, it was in a downpour again, but we couldn't delay anymore because lunch break was coming up and we didn't have time to delay.

So I'm in the pouring rain, held by S, extinguishing a controlled fire. But as soon as I got it out the first time, my celebration was cut short because M TURNED IT BACK ON. And the funny thing? HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME AND SMIRKED AS HE DID IT. HE LAUGHED THE SECOND TIME. That's right, there was a second time, because he turned it back on after I extinguished it FOUR TIMES!!!!

Now I don't know why he did this to me in particular, or why he found it so funny, but at the time I was irritated. Later on I thought about it and was like oh. Wait. He was teasing me, that's kinda cute. So anyways after the fourth time of tormenting me in the pouring rain, I got the fire out and it was lunch time, so me and the class bid S and M goodbye.

Later, after we all got back from lunch, Texas girl called M a dilf. And oh my God did I feel relieved that I wasn't the only one who thought so. F also was attracted to him, while the girl who sat next to me was weirded out bc apparently he looks like her dad. We discussed M for a bit before the teachers got back.

From that day on, M was on my brain CONSTANTLY. I'd see him occasionally (check out my diary tag for M incidents) around the school and freak out each time. I still, to this day in 2021, have feelings for M. And they're strange feelings, because Im obviously in love with my boyfriend and we are getting married asap and I'd never leave him, but I talked over my situation with M with my therapist and she said it was fine.

Anyways, that's the story of M. Check out my diary or M tags for more stories and feelings about him. If you actually read this, thanks, and I hope you enjoy my blog.

#m #diary #s #who is m?

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abitofafatass · 3 years

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11-12-14 Grif and Simmons (honouraryfirstofficerslog)

Honouraryfirstofficerslog asked: It runs in the family

Send “It runs in the family” and my muse will tell you something they and a family member have in common.

Dancing abilities, definitely. You’re looking at some graceful motherfuckers.

“Right…” He snorts out a laugh, quirking an eyebrow in disbelief. “I’m going to have to call bullshit there. We’ve been stationed out here for a while now, and I’ve yet to see you display anything remotely close to grace.”

Grif flipped him off, “Hey you know what? Fuck you. I’m a fantastic dancer. Its just been years since I last gave a shit. It takes skill to dance around on the sand.”

“I don’t know, Grif… Don’t you have to practice to be fantastic at anything? As it stands now, you’re just a has-been.”

“Hey now. I could prove it to you! I mean, I would, but you look like you’d be a wallflower with two left feet.”

“Choosing not to dance doesn’t make you a wallflower!” He blurts, folding his arms over his chest and giving Grif a pointed, defensive glare. “It just means you have other interests.”

“Riiiight,” Grif just snorted, “Welp, I guess you’ll never know how great of a dancer I am. Such a shame, Simmons. One big wasted opportunity…”

“You’re not—-You know what? Fuck it.” He shrugs, half heartedly throwing his hands up. “I’m calling your bluff. Show me what a ‘fantastic’ dancer you are.”

Grif offered a hand, half bowing, “Prepare to have your fucking mind blown, Simmons.” He said that, but Western dancing wasnt exactly his forte, and he’d never tried doing it with another man.

Holy shit, maybe Grif wasn’t bluffing after all. He hesitantly returns the half-bow before reaching out, taking a step forward as he takes Grif’s hand. “So, how’s this going to work? Do we flip for lead?”

“Fuck if I know.” Thank god for his mostly dark complexion. It hid the fact that he was blushing fairly well. He’d expected Simmons to back out at the last moment. “Do you like, know how to waltz, or what?” Simmons was a little taller the Grif, so his hand settled onto Simmons’ lower back. This was getting weird.

“No…When would I have learned to waltz?” He tenses a little as Grif’s hand settles across his back, and pauses a moment before cautiously placing his hand on Grif’s shoulder. Damnit, he shouldn’t have called his bluff, or backed out where he had the chance because now, it’s too late to back out without looking like a tool—-even if this is getting pretty weird, and it probably shows too. Stupid fucking pallid complexion. “Why? Do you?”

“Its been fucking ages.” He now really had to prove himself dammit! Waltzes were easy, just one-two-three, one-two-three… That should come back pretty soon. “Like, I learned it in school, so fuck if I actually paid attention to it. Just follow my lead I guess.” They were just standing there, so it seemed like Grif had to take the first step. “For the record, when I said I was good at dancing, I meant Hula Kahiko.”

“So why the fuck would you initiate a waltz?” He frowns slightly, looking down at their feet as Grif takes the first step. Okay, should he be stepping back here? That seems like the right thing to do. He’s going to try that.

“Because why the fuck would I start chanting and dancing here and now?” he asked, falling into what was approximately a waltz step.“Besides, I figured you would know how to dance this.” Another person could easily fit between them (in the back of his mind, Grif could hear some old instructor telling him to leave enough room for Jesus) and the distance was getting awkward.

“What? I told you I didn’t dance! Why would you interpret that as, ‘Sure, I know how to waltz’?” He keeps intently watching their feet as he follows the waltz as well as he can. Basically, it looks as though he’s just meant to step where directed. Is that it? Or is there a pattern here? Maybe if he can figure out the pattern, it’ll—-wait no! Damnit, he missed a step. Damn everything!

Grif just shook his head, and tried to make sure that they didnt stumble too badly. ”… This is easier with music… Fucking, I dont know Simmons. This is like Junior high dancing that everyone learns. Then again, you probably ran screaming in the other direction when you were forced to be around girls.“

“You had to take dance in junior high?” He winces a little, also doing the best he can to keep them from stumbling, but apparently, it’s not doing all that much good. “That’s different… We didn’t even have co-ed gym—-goddamn it!” He mutters darkly, clenching his jaw as he misses yet another step. “How would this be easier with music? This is all just three counts; it should be straightforward.”

“You’d be able to find the beat then.” After about a minute of trying to dance, Grif finally gave up, and ended up just swaying with Simmons. “I guess you dont need to learn. Not unless Donut gets his way and throws a fancy dress ball or something.” It almost slipped past him that they’d also given up trying to keep up a bit of distance between them. Almost. There was still enough room that someone could squeeze by if they were an especially rude fuck.

Well, Jesus has been known to throw the odd tantrum… so maybe he wouldn’t think twice about squeezing through. They may well still be making room for Jesus. “I’m pretty sure Project Fancy Dress Ball was vetoed a while ago.” He unwinds a little as Grif finally gives up on the waltz in favour of swaying. Swaying works. He can handle that at least. “But yeah… Not sure you’ve really proved anything here, Grif. Now might be a good time to admit defeat.”

He shrugged, a smile on his face, “I dunno if I would say defeat. I got you to dance with me, didn’t I?” That was quite an accomplishment, and Grif was going to save this memory forever. “But fine don’t believe me. If we ever get out of this joke army, come to Hawaii, and I’ll show you what I can do for real. This just inst the time or place for me to show off my awesome moves.”

He half-smiles, snorting out a quiet laugh. “And all that proved was that you’re only slightly more graceful than I am.” Seriously… that waltz was not an accomplishment, you shiftless underachiever. “Unless you’re in Hawaii and conditions are perfect, and you know what? I’m going to take you up on that. If we make it out of here alive, I’ll be calling your bluff. Again. So yeah… Well done, Grif. You’ve just invited another white-bread tourist to Hawaii.”

“Well… At least you wont be one of the annoying ones.” Grif shrugged. “Besides, you’ll be visiting me. That makes you more of a guest then a tourist. Like shit I’m going to take you to any of the big tourist traps.” Well, maybe some. Especially if Simmons embarrassed him by wearing one of those loud Hawaiian shirts.

Oh dear God, no. He’ll be caught in a loud Hawaiian shirt when Hell freezes over. “Okay, that’s a good point… But isn’t a guest just a tourist with connections? How much difference does that really make?” Wait a minute, why are they still dancing? They could have stopped this right after they gave up on the waltz. Is this weird? It’s probably weird, and maybe he should pull away… but what if that just draws attention how weird this definitely is. “Anyway..” He tenses a little, clearing his throat. “If we ever get out of here, and if you lose your mind and decide you want to see Shelby, Michigan… You’ve got an in.”

“Michigan?” Grif shook his head, “I suppose if I ever got the urge to see how a nerd lives… But I’ve heard its fucking cold over there. Like, my step-dad took us to the mainland once so that we could go ice skating and shit, and no thanks. Fuck that.” Simmons was starting to tense up, and Grif was worried that he’d pull away. He didnt want the moment to be ruined like that. They were starting to slow in their swaying, so maybe when they quit it wouldnt be the end of the world.

“Don’t talk shit about Michigan! Only people from Michigan are allowed to do that.” Yeah, it feels as though they’re slowing down. He’s going to slowly, and somewhat reluctantly, pull away, giving Grif a stiff, hesitant bow as he does. “But fuck you. The offer’s still open. And it’s only really cold between November and March.”

Grif didnt bother bowing, he was too busy laughing. "Guess when I’m never visiting then? If I want snow, I’ll just go to the top of Mauna Kea in the winter. So, like, I guess I could come over before then, and then drag you back for the winter. Cold’s got to be a bitch for your metal bits.” Come to think of it, the sand would also suck. And the wet. Being a cyborg just sounded like it sucked when he really thought about it.

#honouraryfirstofficerslog #archival footage

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pjo-hoo-nextgen · 6 years

Text

The First Quest X

Andy attempted to gain some knowledge as to why Maria and Jaxon were no longer on speaking terms, but not many people knew what had happened.

“I don’t get it,” Andy huffed, resting his chin on his hand. “They always fight but this is different.”

“Wrench,” Sol held out her hand expectantly and Andy placed the tool in her grip.

“If anything they’d have fixed it by now.” He paused in thought for a moment, tapping his fingers against his chin.

“Maybe they just need time apart.” Sol suggested making an unusual attempt at conversation.

“They hardly touch one another with an eight foot pole. They have plenty of time apart.” Andy laughed. Sol hummed in reply and settled her goggles back on her face. “I mean the bickering gets old but the silence is just...uncomfortable.”

“Some people have odd ways of doing things.” The motor Sol was working on gave a small attempt to start before fizzling out. “Crap. I swore I fixed it.”

“Try jiggling the knobby thing.” Andy pointed at a protrusion on the machine.

“That’s not what it’s called,” Andy noticed the small smile on her face and couldn’t help but sit up a bit taller. She took his advice anyways and sure enough the engine gave a mighty sputter before maintaining a low hum. “Yes! Finally!”

“Great! Now you can put it on the motorized dummy track for the training arena!” Andy hopped up from the stool he’d been sitting on.

“That’s the plan.” Sol nodded, moving to turn off the device. With a satisfied nod she tugged off her goggles and gloves.

“You got a little something.” Andy gestured to his own nose indicating the spot where Sol had a fair amount of grease plastered on her face.

“Again?” With a grunt of frustration Sol used the hem of her shirt to scrub at her face. The grease only smeared further over her nose and cheeks.

“Don’t do that!” Andy laughed. “You got it everywhere!”

“Ugh! I hate my life!” Sol huffed.

“Sit down. I got this.” Andy offered her the stool. Sitting, Sol watched him curiously until he came back with a squirt bottle, a surprisingly clean rag, and a mirror. “I will be your stylist today. I was trained in the art of beauty!”

With an impish grin Andy did a clumsy spin and struck a pose, spinning the bottle on his finger as if it were a ring of car keys.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Andy winked. “Now let the master work.”

Sol sat perfectly still as Andy worked at cleaning away the stubborn residue. She’d had experiences like this before and her skin was often left red and raw from the rough material. This time, however, it was different. Andy managed to perform the task with ease being surprisingly gentle.

“Aaaaaaand, done.” He declared. “Take a look babe.”

Andy held up the mirror for Sol to check her reflection. “Not bad Grace.”

“Clean as a whistle.” Andy nodded. “Like I said...I’m the master.”

“Of dorkiness.” Sol scoffed tossing the dirtied rag at him.

“My feelings.” Andy feigned offense. “Anyways, we have a game of capture the flag to prepare for.”

“Indeed.” Sol nodded. “I have a feeling this will be very interesting.”

— — —

Indeed it was. Maria and Jaxon were inevitably on the same team once more. Only this time, Grey was left trying to manage the forces.

Maria and Jaxon had both adopted personal agendas and didn’t bother to acknowledge the rest of their team.

“Okay, so...I’m on defense. This is cool.” Andy talked to himself as he paced beside the flag.

“What’d you expect? We got our moment of glory last time. The other kids were destined to have a shot.” Sol frowned sitting on a rock and sharpening her blade. “But the schedule goes Wednesday-Friday for Capture the Flag games. We get another shot soon enough.”

“Yeah, but I expected more entertainment.” Andy paused in his pacing to kick a rock into the trees. At first neither of them noticed it but then it became quiet clear.

There was a commotion going on at the center of the battlefield. From the sound of it nearly everyone had stopped to watch. “Okay, I know we have to guard this but-“

“Come on.” Sol was already running in the direction of the noise with Andy following hot on her heels. The two stumbled from the woods to find a very alarming sight.

“Oh my Gods they’re trying to kill each other.” Andy breathed.

Despite being on the same team Jaxon and Maria were locked in a heated duel. Maria had a score to settle and she intended on restoring some of her pride.

Sol was the first to do anything. Being small she managed to worm her way through the gathered crowd. Andy squeezed his way through with a bit more effort.

“I said go to the right.” Jaxon growled.

“What I do is not up to you.” Maria replied slashing at him with her sword. Jaxon stepped to the side and lashed out in return. Maria arched her blade behind her back ending the strike. “You made it quite clear.”

Spinning Maria slashed angrily at Jaxon’s ankles. Leaping he twisted in the air sending a blast of air far more violent than he should have. Maria was knocked to the side, she tumbled a bit, before coming to a rest.

“Jaxon what are you doing?!” Andy demanded latching onto his brother’s arm.

Maria crawled to her feet, rolledher shoulders, and gave a twirl of her sword; a challenge.

“Enough. Both of you.” Grey stepped between the two raging demigods. “Knock it off.”

“Step aside Grey.” Maria’s voice was full of authority, dripping with the power only a true leader could muster.

“Make me.” The eldest boy raised his chin in defiance.

“Sorry.” Maria gave him an apologetic look before charging at Jaxon and using her elbow to nudge Grey aside. Jaxon shoved Andy away, who stumbled back into the crowd of people.

Sol’s anger flared up and despite herself her arms ignited in bright orange fire. Jaxon made another strike but Sol deflected the blade and caught hold of the weapon. The blade sizzled before the gold began to melt.

Jaxon looked down in surprise before it dawned on him that Sol was ruining his father’s blade. He’d just gotten it back from Thia via Hermes’ messenger friends: wind nymphs. Now, Sol was melting the gold into a bubbling puddle. On instinct he reacted.

Sol was blasted back into Maria causing both girls to collapse on the ground. There was the sound of a painful snap and a cry of pain.

“What is the meaning of this?” The demand came from Chiron who had finally made his way to the commotion.

Jaxon looked with teary eyes at the ruined heirloom in his hand. He had grown up using the blade, dreamed of smiting enemies as dangerous as his father had. It was gone now. Ruined.

Grey knelt beside Sol and Maria. “Are you two alright?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Maria mumbled rubbing her head. She glanced over at Sol only to find the young girl crying and nursing her very broken wrist. “Oh Gods.”

She wasn’t the only one to notice the injury. Grey’s eyes widened and he moved to help her. Andy flew into a rage. He tackled his brother to the ground despite his smaller stature and let his fists fly.

“What is wrong with you? Huh?” His fists stung painfully. “You can’t hurt people like that!”

“Stop!” Jaxon held his arms up to protect his face. “Andy, stop!”

The younger boy was thrown off with a buck of Jaxon’s hips. Jaxon wrapped his arms around Andy holding him still.

“Get off of me!” Andy yelled, squirming violently.

The commotion ended only when each of the demigods was dragged to the infirmary.

— — —

“I have no idea what’s gotten into all of you but you need to figure it out.” Jason stood with his arms crossed looking at each of the kids who sat nursing injuries. Grey was the only one completely unscathed.

“You cannot go around trying to kill each other! That’s not okay!” Annabeth who had also been selected to give the lecture pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t do anything.” Andy protested.

“You pummeled your brother.” Jason glowered. Andy opened his mouth to reply but Jason held up a hand. “Andy Clay Grace, do not argue.”

“So what’s the punishment?” Grey asked glumly.

“You’re all staying here until you sort it out. No leaving or going home.” Jason determined.

“That’s not fair!” Maria cried.

“Some of you can go home, Grey, Sol. You are both allowed to leave.” Neither of them made a move. “Or you can stay here if you wish.”

“Figure it out.” Annabeth shrugged. “It’s that simple. There’s no unity in anything if infighting this bad exists.”

— — —

And so they were left there to solve their problems. Maria selected her own little corner of the infirmary and claimed it her own. Jaxon did the same.

“Let me see it.” Grey knelt in front of the bed Sol sat on and gently took her bandaged wrist. “It should heal relatively well, maybe a bit of physical therapy will be needed, and no forge for some time.”

“Your dad said all of that already.” Sol mumbled. Sniffling she wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Well, I learned from the best.” Grey stood and ruffled her hair. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Was it wrong to punch him?” Sol startled at Andy’s remark. He’d been so quiet she had hardly noticed him there.

“Yeah.” Sol nodded. Andy’s head was bowed and his bottom lip began to tremble.

“I just got mad. I didn’t mean to hurt him that bad but-I don’t like him when he’s like this.” Andy hardly cried and so Sol was left with a brief moment of surprise. She wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never been the best at comforting someone.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Sol gave a light punch to his arm with her good hand. “People mess up.”

“Yeah, but a good brother doesn’t punch his sibling.” Andy sniffled.

“A good brother also doesn’t push his sibling.” Sol slung her arm around Andy’s shoulders. He didn’t say anything else after resting his head on her shoulder. She let him cry and pretended not to notice for his sake.

— — —

Jaxon sat staring at the deformed blade. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to cry. With an angered grunt he chucked it across the room where it clattered to the floor. “Stupid.”

Maria glanced in his direction and felt a tiny amount of sympathy for him. She did know how much the weapon meant to him. “Your dad won’t be mad you know.”

“Yeah right.” Jaxon huffed.

“He’s not that big of an ass.” Maria noted dryly. The conversation ended quickly and the infirmary was bathed in a permanent silence. Slowly the demigods began to drift off to sleep and the silence would remain until the morning.

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