#mcuwriting

[captainamericasbeard]

Date Night

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Smut. Definite smut. 

A/N: This is for @jupiterbucky ‘s 1k writing challenge. My trope was Neighbors AU. Thank you darlin’ for letting me join in. I hope you like it! 

FRIDAY MORNING

Its 745 and you’re in your bathroom, music blaring and you’re bopping around as you do your hair and makeup. You’re not great at it but you still like to sing along to your favorite band at the top of your lungs. Right on time there comes a bang on the wall over your headboard.

“It’s too fucking early, doll!” Came your neighbor’s groggy voice through your bedroom wall. You pause your music and yell back-

“No it’s not! It's almost 8, you’re going to be late.” A muffled curse and the thump of a body hitting the floor comes from the room next door. You giggle at the thought of your neighbor’s body tangled in bedsheets. Then you blush when you remember he sleeps in his boxer briefs and has the best body you’ve ever seen, a fact you wish you’d never learned. You shake your head free of the mental image and turn your music back on.

You rush around your apartment, searching for a missing shoe, grabbing a half buttered piece of toast, and snatching your keys out of the bowl on the kitchen counter. Right around 8 you fling your door open and turn around to lock it behind you just as your neighbor comes out. You both have toast hanging out of your mouths.

“Mornin’ Buck,” you mumble around your toast as you pull your door closed behind you and lock it.

“Mornin’ doll. How’s it going?” Bucky looks great, as always. He’s dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt but the sight makes your heart stutter. Bucky has been your neighbor for 2 years now and your crush on him hasn’t faded since the day you met him.

“Can’t complain, it's Friday,” you answer, leaning on your door while Bucky fumbles with his keys.

“Yeah it is! Pizza and a movie tonight?” Bucky asks, confirming your standing Friday night plans.

“Can’t. I’ve got a date,” you say with a slight blush.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky raises his eyebrow. Something flashes in his eyes that you can’t quite place.

“Yeah, just some guy from work.” You shrug your shoulders to let him know you aren’t that invested. Bucky smiles at you as he pockets his keys and there’s a swoop in your stomach. You’d much rather be at pizza night. You both head toward the stairs and start walking down.

Bucky starts walking a little faster than you, glancing at you. Pressing down a smile you speed up to match his pace. Before long you’re both racing down the stairs laughing like the pair of fools you are. Bucky jumps the last 3 steps and declares himself the winner before throwing you a wink and striding out the door. You pause for a second to catch your breath.  Bucky often leaves you breathless.

FRIDAY NIGHT

It’s 745 and you storm into your apartment, throwing your bag onto the counter. You stomp off toward your bedroom and whip your heels at the wall. You strip off your dress and actually stomp on the floor and scream loudly. You sit down on your bed to have a good cry when there’s 3 knocks on your bedroom wall. You wipe your face and knock back 3 times. It’s your signal saying come on over.

You get up and put on leggings and an oversized t-shirt. Just as you’re finishing up your front door swings open and Bucky comes in brandishing a half eaten box of pizza and a case of beer.

“That bad, huh?” Bucky asks sympathetically.

“What an unbelievable dick,” you spit out in answer.

“What happened?” Bucky questions.

“He just assumed he was going to get laid. Got real handsy and real pissed off when I ended the date. Just another asshole. It’s all I can manage to attract it seems.” Tears begin to swim in your eyes as you anger begins to subside.

“Hey, none of that,” Bucky says as he drops the pizza and beer on the counter and scoops you up into a big hug. You sigh and lean into his chest as he rests his chin on the top of your head. “He’s not worth the tears, Y/N.”

You pull back and let Bucky wipe the tears from your cheeks. He moves his hands to the top of your arms, drawing light patterns with his thumbs. The look in his eyes is unreadable.

“I’m not crying over him, I just- It just sucks you know. Why can’t any decent guy be interested in me? What’s wrong with me?” Bucky’s thumbs stop moving against your skin and you can feel his hands trembling. He looks like he’s holding back a river.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Y/N, you’re perfect.” You dip your head and blush. Bucky puts his hand under your chin and lifts your face towards his. “I mean it.” His thumb brushes against your bottom lip and your heart trembles. His hand cups your face while the other hand drops to your lower back. He draws you in close and dips his head down to yours but at the last second you pull back.

“Don't Bucky. Don't kiss me unless you mean it. I can’t handle that.” Tears fall fresh from your eyes and your heart feels like it could fly apart from what comes next. Bucky stares you down and you hold your breath.

“Y/N I have been in love with you since the day I met you. It breaks my heart to see you dating these assholes when I want to show you how you should be treated. You are the most important person in my life and I’m going to kiss you now.” With that Bucky swoops down and captures your lips. You slide your hands up and tangle them in his long brown hair as his hands come down to grip your hips.

It’s the kind of kiss that steals all your breath. It turns from tender to passionate and you grip into Bucky’s hair, holding on for the ride. He wordlessly asks to deepen the kiss and you open up to him with no reservations. Bucky loves you and you’ll never stop kissing him.

Now you’re up against the counter and Bucky’s fingers graze the skin just under the hem of your shirt. A moan rises up in your throat at the contact and Bucky’s hands set fire to the skin along your stomach. You break away from kissing him for a moment and you look deep in his eyes. He looks back at you, asking permission and you nod. He lifts your shirt over your head. He gazes down on you in adoration and you drop your head in embarrassment.

“Like I said, perfect.” His voice is low and it rumbles through your body. He slides his hands up your sides and grazes his thumbs over your erect nipples. Heat floods your core at the touch and you grab him and kiss him again. He kisses down your neck to your breast where he teasingly takes each nipple between his teeth. You moan louder this time, spurning him on. Something in you snaps and you grab at his shirt, longing to run your hands over his hot skin. You get his shirt off and its your turn to stare. You ghost your fingers over his abs. He reaches down and pulls you into a tender kiss.

“What do you want, Y/N?” His grey blue eyes are hooded, his pupils blown out. The sight of him wanting you makes you wet. You part your legs and pull him into you as your back presses against the counter.

“You, Bucky. I want you and I want you right now.” Bucky lifts you up onto the counter and works your leggings off while you tug his sweat pants down. His cock springs out of his underwear and you gasp as you take in the sight. Bucky runs his hands up your thighs and swirls his thumb into your folds and up to your clit.

“God you’re so wet. I can’t wait to get my cock in there.” His voice is husky and his chest is heaving.

“Then what are you waiting for?” You ask as you kiss along his neck and collarbone. Without another word Bucky slides into you with one long stroke and stretches you perfectly. You gasp and dig into his shoulders as you adjust to his length.

“Oh god,” you moan, “fuck me Bucky. Fuck me and don’t stop.” It's all the prompting he needs as he pulls out and sharply thrusts into you again. You both find your rhythm as you lift your hips to meet each thrust he pounds into you. You get lost in the moment, drowning in sloppy kisses as you walls begin to flutter around him. He adjusts his angle and you gasp as your dripping pussy clenches him even tighter.

“Right there, don’t stop.” You mumble obscenities and his name as he pulls you apart. Your orgasm spills over and you cry out his name. He follows right behind hips stuttering and a low growl rumbling through his chest. You slump onto each other while he stays inside you. Bucky lazily kisses the side of your neck and you can’t help giggle.

“What’re you laughing at, darlin’?” Bucky asks with a smirk.

“I love you too in case you were wondering.” Bucky answers with a rumbling laugh that makes your heart swoop. You want to be the one to make him laugh like that forever. Bucky peppers you with kisses and presses his forehead to yours.

“How about that movie date now?” He asks.

“That sounds excellent,” You reply. Bucky slides out of you and you already miss the feeling of him filling you up. He hitches up his low slung grey sweatpants and you decide he looks perfect just like that. You hop down and grab his shirt to throw on you.

“Um, what am I supposed to wear, doll?” Bucky says with a quirked eyebrow.

“I think you look fine just like that,” you smirk back. With a mischievous look Bucky bends down and grabs your leggings, holding them up over his head.

“Fine, if I don’t get a top, you don’t get bottoms.”

“Fine by me,” You say as you saunter off to the bedroom for a fresh pair of panties, your bare asscheeks peeking out from the end of Bucky’s t-shirt. You hear him groan at the sight.

You come back to the living room and Bucky is sat on the couch browsing through Netflix.

“Well the pizza is cold and the beer is warm so do you wanna-“ He stops mid sentence as he looks over his shoulder at you standing in the middle of the kitchen munching on your favorite snack. You stop chewing as he stares at you.

“What?” You mumble around your food. Your cheeks flush as he continues to look at you with total adoration.

“Its just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes. I’ve actually dreamed about this.” You put your snack down on the counter and walk over to the couch. Sitting down next to Bucky you lean over and lay on his chest, tucking your feet under your body. He wraps his arm around you and you drape your arm over his frame.

“And I’ve dreamed about this,” you say as you nuzzle deeper into him.

[buckychristwrites]

Take Me Higher | OS | b.b.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Who knew that the way into the big broody super soldier’s heart was through his unmet need for a good cuddle?

Word Count: 9.5k

Warnings: disgustingly fluffy

A/N: Pure fluff with a side of touch starved Bucky? No one asked for it but here it the fuck is! The song this is based on is Tear In My Heart by Twenty One Pilots! Let me know what you think! :)

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Sometimes you gotta bleed to know

That you’re alive and have a soul

Three in the morning.

It was three in the morning and Bucky hadn’t slept a wink.

A breeze was coming in through the motel room window he cracked open, waving the ugly sage green curtains back and forth. The door was a bright sky blue, matching the color of the logo on the neon sign out front. As Bucky laid in the queen bed covered by the beige comforter, and looked around, he wondered if the interior designer they hired was blind. Even he felt he would’ve done a better job, and he could barely match his clothes.

The mission had been long. Taking out weapons dealers in a small town in Ohio didn’t sound rough on paper, but none of them were prepared for the involvement of HYDRA, who turned out to be the ones being dealt the weapons. Hours of fighting commenced until finally the Avengers were able to take them down. Everyone was so tired that they decided to stop for the night and then head home in the morning. While the Quinjet could get them back in a few hours, no one had the energy to spend that long amount of time in such close quarters.

Despite not getting injured, Bucky was sore from being knocked round. The warm shower he had taken just an hour before helped only minimally, but now it was the cool evening air blowing against his bare torso that was making him feel better. All that was running through his mind was being in his own bed. The hotel bed was comfortable enough, but he preferred his firm mattress. Sam had once mentioned that he preferred a firm mattress because of his time in the war, and Bucky had to agree.

He stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. Missions didn’t usually tire him like this, but HYDRA missions always took their toll. It was hard not to be brought back to the years he spent with them, watching the horror he committed through his own eyes without being able to do a thing to stop it. It didn’t affect him the way that it used to, but it still left him with deep emotional and physical exhaustion. Yet, despite that, he was unable to fall asleep no matter how long he laid there. It was quite the oxymoron, being so tired that one can’t sleep.

A loud knock at the door startled Bucky, almost making him fall out of the bed. He looked at the clock to make sure he didn’t fall asleep without knowing it, and was slightly relieved and yet confused when it read ten after three in the morning. He stared at the door, a few moments passing before three more knocks echoed through the room. Who would be knocking at this hour? Was it a threat? He highly doubted it, but his mind always went there first. As he stood up off the bed, slowly making his way towards the door, he told himself it was more than likely another member of the team. Sometimes Steve or Tony would check in on him at weird hours, they always somehow knew that he wasn’t sleeping. But none of these reminders calmed his nerves. Peeking through the peephole, he let out a relieved breath before throwing the door open, revealing you on the other side.

“Guess what dumbass thing I just did,” You said with a sheepish smile on your face. Your arms were tightly hugging your torso, and you were shifting back and forth from the tips of your toes to the balls of your feet. Bucky noted your oversized tee shirt and socked feet. For a second, he thought you were pantless until you went up on your tiptoes again and he saw the bottoms of your shorts. The question deep in his mind was how you could be outside in that outfit when it was a cold autumn evening, but he wasn’t about to actually ask.

“What did you do?” He asked, humoring you. It was hard not to with the dorky smile you were giving him. You sighed sharply before dropping your hands to your sides.

“So. Couldn’t sleep, right?” You began. He nodded. “Decide to find the vending machines. So I walk around for awhile before I realize I left my wallet in the room. No big deal. Head back to my room, only to remember as soon as I get there.” You paused, dropping your head to the side and looking at him in annoyance. “My room card is in my wallet.” Your head fell back and you stared up at the awning above your head. A gust of wind blew your shirt to the side, and you shivered as you held it down. “I could go down to the lobby to get a new one but it’s such a long walk and I’m freezing. Can I please crash in your room?”

He turned around and looked around the small room. The only other piece of furniture in the room was the one arm chair near the window, but it wasn’t big enough for either of you to sleep in. On one hand, he wasn’t sure where else he would sleep besides the floor if he was going to give you the bed, and with how sore he was, that just didn’t sound ideal. But on the other, there was no way he wasn’t going to let you sleep there. As he turned back towards you, he noticed how violently your body was shaking in the cold, and immediately took a step to the side.

“Of course, get in here,” He insisted, closing the door as soon as you crossed the threshold of the room. Almost immediately, you collapsed onto the right side of the bed, throwing the blankets over yourself. Bucky watched you, the conundrum of where he would sleep still very much alive. Once you stilled in the bed, your eyes found him again.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him.

“Just trying to figure out where I’m gonna sleep,” He mumbled, not returning your gaze as he looked around the room, deep in thought. Maybe the bathtub? He’d just need a pillow and maybe a blanket. There was a spare in the closet. And how many pillows did you need? More than likely you wouldn’t have an issue with letting him use one. Would the floor of the tub still be wet?

“Do I smell or something?” You asked, sounding hurt. He looked back at you to find a look of confusion on your face. “There’s a whole other side of the bed, Bucky. You can definitely sleep here.” His cheeks must have gone red once they started burning, as you huffed and shook your head. “It’s just one night. I’ll stay close to the edge so I won’t bother you. I know you probably don’t like being touched.”

It was only partially true. Bucky didn’t mean to come off as someone to stay away from. It was hard to come back from everything he had been through as an open person. When you joined the team, he was civil with you, but kept you at arm’s length for two reasons. From your first day, it was clear you had a loud and bold personality. You brought something different to the compound, with your loud laughter and the music you played in your room at just a loud enough volume for Bucky to hear from down the hall. There was nothing wrong with any of that. In fact, Bucky loved the new energy that you brought to the compound. But it was the opposite of his own, and he didn’t know how to handle it unless it was from a distance. He was too quiet, too closed off for the sort of boldness you exhumed, and the sort of attention he figured you’d require. He just wasn’t ready for it.

The second reason, and probably the most important one, is that you were very tactile. Touching a person’s arm as you spoke to them. Hugging people from behind when they’re sitting at the table. Laying on someone’s lap while watching a movie. It was a very huge piece of who you were. Hell, the whole reason you were on the team was because you could enhance everyone’s abilities with a touch. You were an important asset, no doubt. And while Bucky didn’t necessarily have an issue with being touched per say, he still wasn’t used to being touched in a way that wasn’t violent or forceful. He jumped at even a slight brush. Even Steve tried not to touch him too often so that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable. It was sort of an unspoken rule to everyone that he was to not be touched, and though you had little interaction with him, it was clear from the few and far between moments the two of you did have that you had gotten that memo.

But with all these things considered, he knew you had a point. It was only one night. Besides, he didn’t feel he was being necessarily fair with his avoidance of you. It wasn’t like you had done anything to wrong him. What control did you have over the type of person you were? He sort of envied it. Maybe sending time with you would open him up more. It was time for him to treat you like a member of the team.

He nodded at you before slowly crossing the room and climbing into the bed himself. As he slipped under the covers, you turned off the light and sunk deeper under them yourself. The only thing he could hear in the darkness was the wind blowing outside and your quiet breathing. Bucky rolled onto his side, facing away from you, and hugged the pillow his head was lying on. The amount of apprehensiveness he felt was indescribable.

It had been quite some time since Bucky had shared a bed with anyone, let alone a woman, and for whatever reason, it left him feeling incredibly anxious. There was about five feet of space between the two of you, as he was right up on the edge. The bed bounced slightly as you tossed and turned in your sleep, but Bucky remained still. His eyes were locked on the digital clock next to his side of the bed. If he wasn’t able to sleep before, there was no way he was going to now.

A half hour had passed. He knew you were asleep, by the way your breathing had slowed and though your moving around hadn’t seized, it wasn’t as forceful as it had been before. It became easier to ignore your shuffling, it only making him wonder how you ever got a good night sleep. He started to calm down up until you were suddenly up against him, your arms tightly wound around him. His entire body tensed under your touch, his skin feeling like it was on fire. His heart was pounding out of his chest, and part of him wondered if he was having a heart attack. Instincts were telling him to pull out of your grasp, or roll over and shove you away, but he didn’t. After the initial shock began to wear down, it actually felt sort of… nice. Despite his racing heart, his body relaxed in your arms. He could feel your face pressed into his hair and he suddenly was thankful he washed it. As his muscles eased, he hesitantly put his arms over your own. Was that the thing to do? He wasn’t sure. But it couldn’t hurt. You were clearly deep in sleep, and probably unaware of your actions. What was the harm in him... enjoying them?

He shuffled backwards slightly, pressing himself into you further. A sigh passed your lips, and he felt you move your head a little as your grip slackened. For a second, he panicked, worrying he had woken you and that you would return to your side. But your arms tightened around him again, your face pressed into his hair once more. Sighing contently, he closed his eyes, and before he knew it he was out like a light.

A pounding on the door woke him up the next morning. Groaning, rolled over in the bed to find you gone. Suddenly, the room felt colder. Slowly, he climbed out of bed and made his way to the door. Flinging the door open, his cheeks began to burn when he found you on the other side. The oversized shirt and pajama shorts were replaced with everyday wear, your backpack slung over your shoulder. The sweet yet amused smile on your face was sending his heart into a frenzy in a way that he didn’t understand.

“Good morning, Princess Aurora,” You said teasingly. “Check out is in a half hour, we gotta get going.” You tugged at the strap on your shoulder. “Thanks for letting me spend the night in here last night.” He nodded, looking down at the floor.

“No problem,” He mumbled. Both of you could feel the words that were being left unsaid, the elephant in the room. Without looking at you, he could tell by the way you shifted your weight from your side that you were debating on whether to say anything or not. When he finally returned your gaze, you said nothing more, instead just giving him another soft smile before turning and walking off. As he closed the door shut, he could feel the ghost of your arms around his torso, and your chest pressed into his back.

But it takes someone to come around

To show you how

He couldn’t look at you anymore.

Every time he did, all he could think about was the feeling of your skin on his. Which made absolutely no sense to him. A full week had passed since the evening at the motel. How was he still able to remember the way your fingertips felt gripping his side and your breath against his neck so clearly? If he let himself think about it too much, he could convince himself that you were actually there, still holding him. Not that he did that ever. Nope. Never.

It had gotten to a point where he began to crave it, almost. Like it was a hunger that needed curbed. An itch that needed scratched. He had been held for the first time in decades, and now he needed more. But what was he going to do? Just ask you to cuddle him? Maybe you would if he had put effort into having a relationship with you before. But he didn’t. It was a one night thing that went undiscussed. What if you didn’t even remember it? What if you had pulled away in your sleep and never knew it had happened? Or what if you didn’t want it to? Maybe that’s why you were already gone in the morning when he woke. Too embarrassed to deal with the fact that you spent your night touching him.

So he did the only thing he knew how to. He avoided you. If you entered a room that he was in, he left. If he heard your voice nearby, he would flee. It was better than trying to deal with whatever feelings he had gained from that night. Avoiding you now was no different than how it was before, albeit a bit more extreme. But even if you noticed, he knew you weren’t the type to confront him.

But this evening, it was all too much. He hadn’t had a proper night sleep in days. In fact, if he really let himself think about it, which he tried really hard not to, he hadn’t gotten a proper sleep since the motel in Ohio. Every evening since, he felt himself tossing and turning more than usual.

Throwing his head up, he looked at the clock. A quarter passed one. He had been laying there for over two hours now, and he didn’t sleep for any part of it. The exhaustion was getting the better of him. He just wanted to fucking sleep.

Kicking the covers off him, he climbed out of bed and sulked out of the room. Maybe he’d be able to sleep after grabbing a bite to eat. It wasn’t that he was hungry, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. As he got closer to the kitchen, he could hear the television from the living room getting louder and louder. When he hit the doorway, he paused and leaned against the wall. You were tucked in the corner of the couch, your legs on the coffee table. Your body was facing Bucky, and even though you hadn’t seen him enter, he could see that you were wide awake.

“Can’t sleep?”

You didn’t jump when he said it, instead just simply looking over at him. He wasn’t surprised though. Your senses were enhanced, just like his, and you probably heard his footsteps before he even left his room. Using your feet to push you up slightly, you nodded. Despite the lack of proper lighting, he could see the bags under your eyes and the yawn you tried to hide.

“I don’t sleep much anyway,” You said, shrugging. Bucky nodded, understanding better than you knew. The two of you stared at each other in an awkward silence until Bucky looked down at the floor. He could feel it again. The tingling where your arms had held him like he was haunted by the memory on his skin. The yearning for it to happen again was all he could think about, and here you were, ready and able to oblige. But he wasn't about to ask. How pathetic would that sound? The last thing he needed was another person on the list of people who pitied him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up further. He shook his head, but found it suddenly difficult to speak. The room had no lights on, but the brightness of the TV on your face was enough to show your confused expression. “Bucky.” Your voice had a firmness to it this time. He sighed.

“Did you…” He trailed off, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at you. He couldn’t believe he was actually about to bring it up, and for a second he thought about stopping himself and leaving. But he didn’t. “Did you do it on purpose? At the motel?” The confused expression on your face didn’t change for a while, until finally your eyes widened, and then you buried your face in your hands.

“God, I’m sorry Bucky,” You sighed. “I was hoping that maybe you were asleep when it all happened and I had left before you could notice. I’m a huge cuddler when I sleep and I do it a lot without meaning to.” When you pulled your hands from your face, Bucky could see the apologetic look in your eyes. “I noticed you were keeping your distance, but I didn’t know it was because of that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry.” He began to rapidly shake his head.

“No, no, it’s okay,” He said quickly, swallowing hard. “I just- uhm… I was gonna ask…maybe…” He huffed in annoyance. This is stupid, he told himself. More than likely you wouldn’t be down with it, especially since he just made you feel bad about the whole thing. He brought his hands to his mouth, his fingers anxiously pulling at his lips as he thought of the right words to say, but nothing was coming to him. The confusion was wiped from your face as your lips began to twitch upward.

Wordlessly, you lifted up your arms, your hands open and your fingers out towards him. He froze and it took him longer than it should’ve for him to realize what it was you were doing. For a second, he seriously considered refusing, but why would he do that? Suddenly he felt very warm. His steps towards you were small and slow as he gave himself a chance to back out. But he never did. Your eyes never left his as he sunk into the couch and crawled towards you. As you laid yourself down, he laid down on top of you, his head finding comfort on your chest. All tension in his body seemed to evaporate as you wrapped your arms around him. His feet were hanging over the arm of the couch, but it didn’t bother him.

“Comfy?” You whispered. He nodded. The warmth of your body against his was familiar and yet his heart was pounding as if it were the first time. It wasn’t until you began absently running your fingers through his hair with one hand and running drawing circles on his back with the other that he really began to lose it. His stomach was doing so many somersaults that he felt like he was going to throw up, but he swallowed it down. There was no way he was about to ruin this just because he was a bit starved of human contact and didn’t know how to handle it.

He shifted so he was more tucked into your side. For the first time, in what felt like a long time, his mind had gone quiet and his body was at ease. “Comfy” was an understatement. If there were a word in the English language to describe how he felt, he had yet to learn it. It wasn’t until a line on the TV caught his attention that he found a word that was pretty close.

“No sort of bliss better than being in the arms of the one you love.” His eyes jumped up at you, and he found that even though your fingers were still working through his hair and his skin, your eyes were closed. He smiled.

Maybe this wasn’t the love they were referencing on the TV. But they were right about one thing. There was no other sort of bliss.

She’s the tear in my heart

I’m alive

Bucky woke up in his bed alone. He didn’t know how you were able to sneak away without waking him, but somehow you always managed. Even without you there, he had stayed lying on his back. Maybe his subconscious had hoped you would return.

That night it had been your turn to be held. The day had been long and hard on you, and Bucky began to feel guilty for all you would do for him, but he never reciprocated, so this night he did all the holding. You had laid your head on his chest, tucked under his chin, with your hand resting on his upper torso, running your thumb gently up and down his bare skin. It was just as nice to hold you as it was being held by you, Bucky discovered.

The walk down the hall towards the kitchen as quicker than usual, and he felt himself grow disappointed when he walked in only to find Sam shoveling his way through a bowl of cereal. He tried to push that feeling away as he lowered his head and crossed the kitchen.

“‘Morning,” Sam said into his bowl. Bucky mumbled back a greeting as he opened the fridge and did a quick scan before pulling out a plum and shoving it in his mouth. He started to close it, before changing his mind and grabbing a yogurt. When he turned around, he found that Sam was watching him.

“What’s with you?” He asked as Bucky rounded the island and sat in the stool on the end. “You seem off.” Bucky shrugged as he took another bite of the plum. It was ripe, but not too hard. Just the way he liked it.

“Just woke up,” He said simply before realizing that he didn’t grab a spoon. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized how scatterbrained he was acting. He felt Sam’s eyes on him as he crossed the kitchen once more, opening the silverware drawer.

“Good morning, gentleman.”

Bucky didn’t have time to react to the sound of your voice before he felt a hand run across his back. A shockwave went up his spine at the feeling of it. By the time he had turned to face you, your hand had already left him, leaving a tingling sensation behind, and you were at the fridge pulling out a yogurt. You smiled at him when you turned in his direction, nodding towards the drawer he was standing in front of.

“Can I have a spoon, please?” You asked kindly. Absently, he handed you the one in his hand before turning and grabbing himself another one. He could feel Sam staring at the two of you, and while you didn’t seem to notice or mind, it made him feel quite embarrassed. He returned to the stool he had been sitting at before, while you stood between him and Sam.

“Is there anything going on today?” You asked before taking a bite of yogurt. Sam shrugged.

“All I know is I’m training with Natasha later and I’m gonna get my ass whooped,” He said begrudgingly. You laughed, leaning slightly and putting your hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“Good luck, my dude,” You said, clearly trying to sound supportive but it was hard when you were still laughing. Bucky didn’t notice right away that your eyes were on him because he was too busy staring at your hand, which was still on Sam’s shoulder. For whatever reason, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Just seeing it made him feel some type of way, but he couldn’t quite describe it.

“What about you, Bucky?” You asked him. The sound of his name coming from you broke him from his trance. When he locked eyes with you, a smile filled your cheeks. “What do you have going on today?” Bucky simply shook his head.

“I think I’m training with Parker later, but nothing other than that,” He said quietly, turning away and continuing to eat his yogurt. He didn’t know you had moved until he felt the familiar sensation of your fingers ruffling through his hair. Electricity shot up his spine once more at your touch, and was gone the second your hand pulled away.

“You have fun when Peter webs you to the ceiling,” You said, giggling as you left. Bucky fought the urge to turn and watch you go, keeping his eyes locked on the almost empty cup and the half eaten plum on the counter. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sam continuing to stare at him. He pretended not to notice.

“So what was that?” Sam asked, breaking the few moments of silence.

“What was what?” Bucky asked nonchalantly, but he tried not to cringe at the sound of his voice when he said it. If he could taste the bullshit, then he knew Sam would too.

“You had been keeping your distance from her since she joined the team and now all of a sudden she’s fucking with your hair and touching you? And you’re cool with it?” Sam said in a questioning tone. He dropped his spoon down into the bowl so he could cross his arms. “You expect me to believe this just magically happened?” Bucky huffed as he roughly scooped up another spoonful of yogurt and shoved it in his mouth.

“We’ve been… talking,” He mumbled. The rest of the team didn’t know what you and him were doing, and he wasn’t about to out himself. Especially to Sam, who he knew wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. Although, from the look on Sam’s face, it was clear he wasn’t buying it.

“Talking,” He said it more as a statement than a question. Bucky nodded.

“Is that okay, or did I need your permission?” He challenged Sam. The look on his friend’s face changed to surprise, and also slightly impressed. Without a word, Sam got up and took his bowl to the sink, dumping the last of the soggy cereal into the garbage disposal and giving the bowl a quick clean. While finishing up his small breakfast, Bucky kept his eyes on him. He knew that he had more to say. Sam just wasn’t the type to keep his feelings on things quiet. He turned back to Bucky, putting his hands on the corner of the counter and leaning on it slightly.

“I’m just glad you’re “talking” to someone, man,” He said, giving him a suggestive smile and walking towards the living room. When he walked passed, he gave Bucky a slight shove and dodged the swing Bucky threw at him. “It loosens you up!”

As Bucky listened to the sound of Sam’s footsteps fade away, he stared down at the counter and, although he couldn’t see it, the burning in his cheeks let him know he had turned a bright shade of red. He silently hoped that Sam didn’t notice. He didn’t need anything else to use against him.

She’s the tear in my heart

I’m on fire

When are you getting home?

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your text message. The roar of the Quinjet engines were loud in his ear as it began to descend over New York City, but he didn’t notice as he typed his reply.

Almost there.

The city in the nighttime was already a sight, but seeing it overhead was both exhilarating and breathtaking. Little star like balls of light covered the buildings and streets, the traffic looking like beetles from the height. It was really the only part Bucky liked about going on missions, was seeing the big city he called home in the beauty it was at a distance, although his favorite time of day to view it would be at dawn or dusk, when the orange and pink skies added to the already beautiful sight.

His phone buzzed in his hand, and for a second, he continued to look outside and pretended he wasn’t in any rush, despite his heart which skipped a beat as soon as he saw your name on the screen.

I’m already in bed dozing off. If I pass out before you get here I’ll see you in the morning!!!

He felt himself grow disappointed. It wasn’t your fault. The whole reason you had missed this mission was because you had been sick, but he couldn’t help it. The entire time he was gone, Bucky would check his phone even when he knew it didn’t go off, or look around for you because he constantly would forget that you weren’t there. He didn’t understand why he was acting this way, or how to make it stop. No one else seemed to notice his distractions, and if they did, they didn’t point it out.

As the Quinjet began lowering down towards Stark Tower, Bucky could feel the butterflies in his tummy growing restless. He was completely unaware of the dopey smile on his face at the sight of the building until he looked over and saw Steve giving him a strange look.

“What are you so excited about?” Steve asked him. His shoulders rose and fell, but the smile didn’t drop in the slightest.

“Just can’t wait to sleep in my own bed,” He said. It wasn’t convincing, and he knew when Steve looked out the window with a knowing smile on his face and only humming in response that he didn’t believe him.

The second the Quinjet touched down on the helipad, Bucky had to refrain from jumping out of his seat. The knuckles on his right hand were white as he gripped the arm rest impatiently, his eyes on the back of Stark’s head. He never understood why the time between landing and the door opening was so long. But maybe it only felt so much longer this time because he was waiting for it.

Once the door had opened, Bucky stood as nonchalantly as possible, grabbing his bag from the overhead been and making his way out of the jet. Every step he made was calculated as he tried not to appear rushed or anxious. Although everyone was so tired, they probably wouldn’t have even noticed. The walk through the tower towards his room seemed like it was never ending. The hallway seemed to grow narrower. Did the place get bigger in his absence?

His eyes stared down your door long before he had even reached his own. He debated in his mind whether to peek in on you or let you be. A half hour had passed since your last text, which probably meant that you were more than likely long asleep. He turned the knob to his room and let himself in, setting his bag down at the end of the bed. Slowly, he stripped down and changed into sweats and a crew neck. He considered just crawling into bed and seeing you in the morning, but the rest of him had other plans as his legs seemed to mindlessly carry him out of the room.

The door to your room didn’t creak as he unhurriedly pushed it open, and he was grateful. Resting on top of your blankets, you were snuggling up against your pillow, your phone still in your hand as if you fell asleep mid-text. Crawling into your bed, Bucky held his breath as he carefully positioned himself over you, slowly lowering himself down so he was now lying on you with his head between your shoulder blades. You let out a staggered breath and lifted your head slightly, glancing back at him before letting your head fall back onto the pillow.

“So much for seeing you in the morning, huh?” You asked in a groggy voice. Though your voice was playful, that didn’t stop the anxiety that rose in Bucky’s chest. Should he have left you alone and waited until morning? Just as he went to lift his head, he felt the tips of your fingers find his head, softly kneading his his hair. Nothing could hold back his smile as he relaxed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, raising his head and lightly resting his chin on your spine. He felt you sigh under him.

“Much better,” You breathed. “M’pretty sure I slept most of the time you were gone.”

“So I didn’t miss much?” He asked, you shaking your head.

“Not a damn thing,” You reassured him. He nodded, his chin running up and down your back. All he felt was relief. The last thing he wanted was to miss out on something important with you. “How was the assignment?” He groaned, his head falling to its side so he was laying it down once more.

“Too long,” He said simply. That was the closest he wanted to get to admitting it was too long to go without you.

With being away from you for a full week, it gave him a lot of time to consider what exactly was happening between the two of you. While he couldn’t figure out what you were feeling, he knew that his feelings for you were way beyond platonic at this point, no matter how hard he tried to deny them or ignore them. For a while he had been convinced that he was so starved of human contact for so long that once he had it, he wanted more and it just was masked as romantic feelings towards you. And maybe at first, that was the case. But now he didn’t want it from anyone else. He just wanted it from you.

“I missed you while you were gone,” You mumbled after a while, it so quiet that Bucky almost thought he imagined it. He rolled his head over so he was burying his face into your shirt, his face so hot and smiley that he couldn’t take it. The room felt hot despite the air conditioning being on, but he knew that it was just him.

“I guess I missed you too,” He said quietly. He felt you laugh against him, his heart skipping a beat.

“Alright, asshole, you’re squashing me,” You whined, squirming as best as you could underneath his weight. “Can we change positions now so that I can breathe?”

My heart

Is my armor

“Fuck, I’m so tired,” You said through a yawn. Bucky looked up at you from his phone, eyebrows raised.

“Plenty of time to sleep,” He reminded you. “We’re not going to be home for another four hours. I think.” He knew for sure it was four hours, but he made himself sound uncertain to lessen the blow. From the sound of your groan, it didn’t appear to work.

“I can’t sleep on planes,” You whined. He grimaced, remembering that you had indeed told him that before.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, although it came out so quiet that he was almost certain you didn’t hear it.

“Wish I could teleport or some shit,” You grumbled. “I’d have been home and in my bed as soon as the mission was over.” He chuckled.

“Only if you’d take me with you,” He remarked, looking back down at his phone.

“Well, of course,” You retorted, sounding offended that he would even suggest that you wouldn’t.

The jet was quiet, with Sam in the cockpit and Steve and Natasha already passed out in various seats. Bucky had originally sat down by himself, but was quite pleased when you took the seat next to him. Out the window, the sky was dark but whatever city they were flying over was beaming with light, almost making up for the fact that he couldn’t see any stars. He was so lost in the sight that he didn’t notice you peering over his shoulder.

“Why are you reading that?” You asked, a serious tone in your voice. His eyes jumped down to his phone to the news article he had opened with the headline: Public Questions Winter Soldier’s Place In Avengers. When he looked back at you, he noticed the sadness in your eyes. “Why do you give into them?” He continued to stare at his phone, his mind running blank on how to respond.

The article made some valid points, as most of them did. At one time, he was viewed as a public threat. The public still very much believed that he was responsible for the death of the former King of Wakanda, no matter how many times the Avengers disputed it. Once they had a view on something, it was almost impossible to change their mind. And despite Shuri removing all traces of HYDRA’s ability to control him ever again, that didn’t stop him from worrying that somehow they’d find a way to control him again. With everything that had happened to him over the course of his life, it was impractical for him to find anything unfeasible.

As hard as he tried not to read the negative things said about him, it was almost impossible for him. Sometimes he did it when things went wrong and he felt he needed to be put in check, like this time when civilians got hurt because of a careless mistake. But other times, when he’s feeling really low, he’ll read them to confirm to himself that he’s as terrible as he believes he is.

The next thing he knew, you were taking his phone and closing out of the article. He didn’t even bother trying to take it from you before you shoved it into his jacket pocket and took his hands into yours. It wasn’t until you had turned in your seat so you were facing him that he knew you were serious.

“Listen to me very carefully,” You told him, eyes locked on his. “You are not what they say you are. You are not who you were in the past. You are a strong, amazing person and you deserve better and more than this.” He didn’t know what to say; he never did when someone complimented him. And he could see the genuinity in your eyes, although he always could. You were always trying to tell him that the way he viewed himself was wrong, to the point where sometimes he felt himself believing it. Tilting his head, he wordlessly slipped his fingers in the spaces between your own. A wordless thank you. Giving him a soft smile, you turned back in your seat. He thought that was going to be the end of it, until you leaned your head down and laid it on his shoulder. Suddenly, he was as still as a statue, afraid to move in fear that you would pull away from him.

“Comfy?” He asked. You nodded against him. He pulled out his phone, opting to read a book he had downloaded a few days prior. It was the only thing he could do one handed, with his other hand still occupied with yours. A mere fifteen minutes had past when all he could hear were your quiet snores, and he smiled softly to himself as he read, leaning his head to the side so it was against the top of yours. Mindlessly, he drew circles on the skin of your outer hand with his thumb. It wasn’t much, yet somehow it was everything.

She’s the tear in my heart

She’s a carver

The floor vibrated slightly under Bucky’s bouncing knee. He stared at his phone, which was resting on the table in front of him, with his hands covering his mouth. The sound of Steve’s words were echoing through his mind.

The jet was attacked and we lost contact.

The silence was overbearing. But any noise that came from anywhere except for Bucky’s phone just made him angry. He needed to hear from you. A phone call. A text. He’d settle for a letter via carrier pigeon for fuck’s sake. Sure, he was concerned about Tony, Rhodey and Wanda as well. But he’d be lying if he said his worry for them was the same as it was for you.

“They’re gonna be fine,” Sam’s voice came up from behind the couch, making Bucky jump. As he took a seat on the left end of the couch, Bucky didn’t take his eyes off his phone.

“I should’ve been there,” He said firmly. Although he was angry, at the interruption of his thoughts as well as the whole situation, his voice was shaky. Small.

“And what would you have done?” Sam asked in a demanding tone. “It was three HYDRA planes going after them. What could you possibly have done?” Bucky bit his lip. He knew how stupid he sounded. But he wasn’t about to admit that at least if you were dead, he would’ve gone with you. Or maybe he could’ve made sure the plane landed safely. He’d survived free falling from the sky before, he was positive he could do it again.

Sam scooted closer to him. “They’re going to be fine.” He said it slowly, carefully enunciating each word. Bucky finally looked up at him.

“How would we know?” He asked.

“Because they’re all soldiers,” Sam told him. “They’ve fought and won before. And they’ll do it again.” When Bucky didn’t answer, Sam leaned forward and hesitantly put his hand on his shoulder. Bucky flinched hard, but didn’t pull away like he once would’ve. “She’s gonna be fine.” Just then, Steve rushed in. The color he had lost when he had spoken to Bucky earlier had returned to his face.

“They’re here,” He said through short, rapid breaths, making it clear he had been running. “They’re here and they’re fine.”

Bucky wasted no time before jumping off the couch and racing out of the room. The hallway seemed to have grown longer as he made his way towards the stairs, foregoing the elevator. As he made his way up, he heard footsteps bounding down the stairs towards him. He rounded a corner to find you coming down the stairs, making him stop dead in his tracks.

The sound of your name floated through the air, and it took him longer than it should’ve for him to realize that he said it out loud. The only response you gave was all but launching yourself at him from the last step, crashing into him and sending him staggering back into the wall. He wrapped his arms tightly around you, one under your bottom to hold your legs up and the other around the middle of your back. It wasn’t until he steadied himself that he could feel you shaking, causing his heart to shatter in his chest.

“You’re fine,” He whispered in your ear. His hand went up to the back of your head, his thumb stroking your hair. “Everything is fine.”

“I love you.”

It was so sudden that Bucky wasn’t in the least bit prepared. Every single muscle in his entire body froze. Slowly, you pulled yourself away from him, looking right into his big blues. He noted the paleness in your skin, and the slight trembling of your lip. His mouth was hanging open slightly as he waited for you to speak again.

“I thought I was gonna die,” You started. The tone in your voice was one Bucky had never heard before. “And the only thing I could think about was that I never told you that. And I hated myself for it.” You lifted your hand, gesturing between yourself and him. “Whatever this is going on between us stopped being platonic for me a while ago. And I feel like you feel the same.”

Bombs were dropping in Bucky’s stomach, sending him into overload. It was too much. It was all too much. The fear of you dying. Having you back in his arms after being gone for two weeks. The relief of you not being dead or harmed. And now… now you love him. And he felt the same. You fidgeted in his hold.

“This is the part where you say something,” You said nervously. “Anything really.” But he didn’t. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed you. It was hesitant, nervous. But then you snaked your fingers through his hair and pulled him closer, and it turned passionate and loving. Bucky’s entire body was exploding, his brain somehow loud and quiet at the same time. When you pulled away, Bucky noticed you weren’t shaking anymore. With his free hand, he ran his fingers up and down your spine.

“I love you too.” It was so quiet that if you didn’t see him say it, you wouldn’t have ever known that it was from Bucky. Who knew someone so big, hard and closed off could be so tender? He swallowed hard before his eyes jumped up to you again. “Was that okay?” He asked softly. He wasn’t sure why he was so anxious. You laughed loudly, leaning your forehead against his.

“Only if that’s not the last one.”

She’s a butcher with a smile

Cut me farther

He was waiting for the signal.

It was something the two of you had discussed before the party. Tony forced the two of you to go, and also gave a reminder that while it was for Steve’s birthday, it was still a function and that you couldn’t only talk to Bucky all night. Which, of course, was something neither of you liked because if Bucky had his choice, he would be sitting on a chair in the corner with you on his lap and his arms around you, people watching all night. Why would he want to talk to a bunch of strangers? He didn’t know, but he only received a glare from Tony when he dared to ask.

The air smelled of cigarettes and alcohol, with a twinge of cologne. As most of Stark’s parties did. The room was a gradient of red white and blue, fitting the black tie theme. Despite that, Bucky still wore a black tuxedo. He had hoped that it would make him not stand out, but all it did was make him pop even more. Like a sore thumb.

You were across the room at the bar, being talked up by a handsome stranger. Bucky wasn’t worried. He could tell by the look on your face and the way you wouldn’t face the man fully that you were bored with whatever he had to say. He didn’t blame the poor sap for trying. You looked radiant in your floor length red gown. He didn’t have to be in love with you to see you were the most beautiful person in the room. It wasn’t him seeing things in rose colored lenses, it was him not being blind.

“That doesn’t bother you?” Sam asked, taking a sip of the gin and tonic in his hand. He donned an all white tux, and had gotten the phone numbers of at least three girls. Bucky turned his body towards him while keeping his eyes on you. Sam nudged him with his elbow, but Bucky pretended not to notice. “Even in the least bit? He’s been talking to her for twenty minutes now.” Bucky shrugged.

“Nope,” He said simply before taking a swig of the glass of whiskey. He couldn’t get drunk, but the taste sometimes brought him back to times when he could. “She’ll let me know when it gets to be too much.”

“How will she do that?” Sam asked, sounding more curious than taunting. Just then, as if on cue, you looked over at Bucky with wide eyes and an even wider smile. He could just barely make out the stranger’s hand on your thigh. He nodded towards Sam.

“That’s how,” He said nonchalantly, shrugging and throwing back the glass until it was empty and leaving it on the table. Carefully slipping between the crowd of people while avoiding socialization, Bucky made his way towards you. Not once did your eyes leave him as he did so, somehow going unnoticed by the man at your side. His stride slowed as he got closer, his eyes on the back of the man’s head, whose hand was still on your thigh.

“Excuse me, pal,” He said, standing close enough so he was almost in between you and the man. A smile spread across his face as he held his hand out for you. “Care for a dance, doll?” Without taking your eyes off him, you handed your drink to the stranger and took Bucky’s hand.

“Thank you,” You sighed. “He was just babbling about how cool my powers were and it was all fun and games until he asked if I could enhance men in the bedroom.” You visibly cringed. Bucky was laughing when the two of you got to the dance floor. The music playing was the ending of a fast paced song, and the the dance floor began to empty out as people, laughing and panting were heading back to their seats as it switched to a slow song. The trumpets at the beginning sounded familiar, and Bucky waited for you to catch on. It didn’t take long before you smiled up at him.

“Candy by John Mercer…” You said slowly. “Someone influenced the playlist.” He shrugged.

“I may have had a word with the DJ about playing it at some point,” He said, making you shake your head.

“You’re such an old man,” You said, although he could hear the loving tone in your voice. Suddenly, a thought derailed him and his laughter disappeared, turning towards you as you took his hand in yours and began to sway with him to the beat of the music.

“Wait, have you been enhancing me in bed?” He whispered in a panic. You opened your mouth to answer, but someone cleared their throat behind Bucky. The two of you turned to see Tony standing there, bright blue tuxedo with his arms behind his back and his eyebrows raised. You tilted your head innocently.

“Come on, Tony,” You said, your head falling against Bucky’s shoulder as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “We’ve been good, and talking to other people all night. What’s the harm in one dance?” He stared between the two of you, obvious annoyance in his face, before letting out a sigh.

“I was just coming over here to remind you that we’re leaving tomorrow for Lithuania tomorrow,” He said, eyeing the two of you. “So try to keep all hangovers to a minimum please. It’s a long flight and no one wants to deal with that.” He gave them both a final once over before smirking and walking away. The way he shook his head as he disappeared in the crowd made you laugh.

“Long flights mean hotels after the mission,” You said in a sing, songy voice, turning back to Bucky and your slow dance. He chuckled.

“Just don’t forget your key card to your room this time,” He teased. You made a face at him before huffing.

“First of all, that was almost two years ago. Second of all, we’re a couple. Tony’s going to get us the same room. Third of all,” You paused, furrowing your eyebrows and tilting your head. “Did I never tell you?” He mirrored your look.

“Tell me what?” He asked. Your hand left his shoulder as you covered your face, laughing.

“I left my key in my room on purpose that night,” You said, peeking through your fingers at him in embarrassment. “It was an impulse decision and by the time I wanted to back out, the door was already closed and locked.” Bucky was laughing at this point, and tried to pull your hand from your face, but then you just pressed it against his shoulder.

“Why did you do that?” He said between laughs. Your body shook with laughter as you stood up straight again, looking around at the crowd.

“Because I liked you and you wouldn’t talk to me,” You said, finally looking at him and shrugging. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

He didn’t know it possible, but in that moment, Bucky loved you more than he ever had. The way the light made your face glow. The red of the dress complimenting your eyes. How full your cheeks were with your smile. But most importantly, feeling you against him, with the tips of your fingers gently digging into his back, was what really did him in every time. He no longer craved your touch. He didn’t have to. Anytime he needed you, he would just have to roll over in bed and pull you close, or grab your hand from your spot next to him. You were never far away, and he needn’t ever worry.

Leaning in so your lips were to his ear, Bucky felt a rise in his chest.

“Also, no I’ve never enhanced you in bed,” You assured him. He felt the anxiety deflate from his chest. When you were facing him once more, you had a devilish grin on your face. “But that’s quite an idea, isn’t it? We should definitely try that.” He could feel his blood start to rush.

“Maybe tomorrow night in the hotel?” He offered. You pouted your lips in dissatisfaction as you began to play with his tie.

“Would be such a shame if we had to wait,” You said in a low voice, peering up at him through your eyelashes. “Do you think anyone would notice if we left for a little bit?” You had just barely finished your sentence when he began dragging you towards the elevators.

“I actually think we’re calling it a night,” He said, picking up his pace as you ran to catch up. Your laugh echoed down the hallways as the two of you got to the elevator. The doors hadn’t even opened yet but that didn’t stop him from having his hands all over you, his lips on your neck. When the doors opened, he lead you inside, suddenly pulling away from you.

“Is this how you imagined it would go? When you came into my hotel room that night?” He asked you, randomly. “Did you think we’d become all of this?” You didn’t hesitate for a second before shaking your head.

“I really thought I’d only get up to trying to cuddle you and then you’d kick me out,” You said, your grip on his upper arms growing tighter. The smile you gave him filled him with warmth. “This was so much better than I ever could’ve imagined.”

And he agreed.

Than I’ve ever been

____________________________

Tags

ALL THE THINGS

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BUCKY

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[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (167/167)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Six

-

Epilogue

One Week Later 

Peter didn’t know how he managed to convince his dad to let him go with him and Steve when they went to return the stones, but he did. It was officially the last mission that Iron Man would go on but it had kind of turned into a family trip instead. The only stone that they weren’t returning personally was the Power Stone because Captain Marvel was dealing with that one instead. 

“You did tell me you wanted to try the whole time travel thing,” Steve said when they prepared to leave. 

“I did,” Peter said and he had absolutely no complaints on going, he just hated how careful his dad was being about the whole thing. 

Their first stop was Vormir. Peter could tell that his dad wasn’t exactly okay being there, but Steve made the whole trip go quick. They weren’t there long enough for Peter to look around but there wasn’t much to even see. Knowing that that cliff was the one that Steve had jumped off of for them to get the stone made it difficult all around. 

Next they went to Asgard and Peter hadn’t expected it to be so beautiful and different. Alien. 

“This is a real place,” Peter said. 

“Not in our present it isn’t,” his dad reminded him. 

They dressed like Asgardians -- clothing courtesy of Thor -- and managed to get a good look around. The guy that took care of the bifrost and the entrance to Asgard was the only one that knew they were there and he didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He even helped them with putting the stone back. Peter had no idea how Dr. Banner had managed to get all the stones back into their original states, but he’d done it and the Reality Stone was back in the form of a liquid. After it was back where it belonged they just sort of wandered around for a bit. 

The Time Stone was a weird one to return because they had to go back and see Doctor Strange. They also couldn’t really linger because it was 2017 and Peter had already been Spider-Man by then and because Steve couldn’t be out and about on account of the house arrest. It was one thing to not care about creating another timeline and another entirely to make that timeline worse for the versions of themselves that would live it. 

The Scepter was an easy one to return. It was 2015 and Peter got to have a  small glimpse at what life had been like in the tower in 2015. The tower as a whole had looked entirely different and Steve explained that the penthouse floor had been destroyed by Ultron and that after everything his dad opted for a remodel. They were on look out while his dad put away the stone. 

“This wasn’t exactly a happy time around here, was it?” Peter asked. “This was -- he stopped responding to me.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “It was a hard time. Your dad and Pepper weren’t really seeing eye to eye and he was losing hope of ever getting to meet you.”

“I know,” Peter said. “We kind of talked about it. May really didn’t want him to meet me -- she thought it’d be dangerous. I think she’s realized how much of a mistake that was on her part. Anyway, we know each other now.” 

Lastly they went to 2011. It was another quick trip. The tower was different again and Peter got to see the beginning of the Avengers. He also saw his letter -- the one he’d sent that he knew his dad had only managed to read right after he almost died. 

“It was a relief when I thought I was going to die, that you didn’t know what I was to you,” his dad said. “But reading that letter made me hope and made me want to live.”

“I love you, dad,” Peter said in response. 

They went on a few detours. Quick moments in time -- they went to the 1920s for a day and then the 1930s where they went to Brooklyn to see a small serum-less Steve. It was jarring seeing him that way -- but even then he was still a lot like the Steve they knew and because his dad couldn’t help himself, he left that Steve some money anonymously. They visited a few more years, never staying long and trying to not make too many ripples. For his dad they went to a Queen concert in 1986 and Peter was surprised at how many songs he actually knew. Peter requested that they stop and go see the original theatrical release of Star Wars: A New Hope in 1977. Steve just seemed to be enjoying seeing all the things he missed while frozen in ice. 

“This will probably be the best trip we’ve ever been on,” Peter said. 

“Although, we’re being very irresponsible and probably creating a whole bunch of new timelines,” his dad said. 

“But you’re sure this won’t become a real problem later?” Steve asked. 

“It won’t.” 

Peter was just happy to spend time with his dads and since Shuri had okayed their trip, he was sure it would be fine. 

--

Three Months Later

Tony appreciated how easy it was to let go of Iron Man now that the threat of Thanos was gone. He was aware that plenty of other villains existed and that some of them might even be worse than Thanos, but for the moment he was happy with how easy it seemed. Things were settling, the world was a little better. He was married. Peter was the best son he could have asked for. Things were good. 

The Avengers had a new roster and while he had given up the superhero life entirely, Steve was still helping with training the new members of the team.  It kept him busy and involved when they weren’t working on their new house and Tony liked to join him sometimes. It was nice to see the next generation of heroes and he could see the appeal of getting to shape them and train them and showing them the ropes. But working on the house was also rewarding work. Steve had an artist’s eye and between him and Tony they had designed their perfect home. 

In the meanwhile, they waited for the call. 

Months passed. Then a few more. 

The agency contacted him every once in a while, just keeping up with them, but never with the news they wanted. 

“It will happen, when it happens,” Steve said. “Sooner or later.”

“When it’s meant to,” Tony said in agreement. Waiting just kind of sucked. 

---

2019

“Do you know what Peter did while we were in Germany?” 

Peter groaned. Steve who had been in the middle of making them dinner turned to look at him. “Back during that whole airport thing?” 

Tony nodded. “I think I must have told you.” 

“I don’t think I’ve heard this story,” Bucky said. 

He was seated on one of the stools at the table right next to Peter and Peter could tell that he was ready for a story that he could use against Peter in the future. 

“Well, I booked him a hotel and Happy was supposed to be watching him. Then again, I didn’t think that Peter would sneak out of the hotel room, but that is what he did--”

Peter raised a finger in the air. “In my defense,” he said, “I was really hyped up after the fight. I didn’t think it was big deal.” 

“When I finally tracked him down he was at a rave. My fourteen year old at a rave in Germany--”

Bucky cracked up at once, laughing with his head thrown back. Peter punched him on the arm but that just made him laugh harder. Steve was laughing too. 

“Anyway,” Peter said. “All I said was that my decathlon team is going on a trip to Europe this summer.”

“And you’re welcome to go as long as you don’t end up in a rave again,” his dad said and he was smirking at him. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “I won’t even bring the suit. I think a break from Spider-Man might even suit me.” 

“And, hey, maybe you can take that girl you like somewhere and finally tell her,” Bucky said. 

“I’ve been trying,” Peter said. 

And he had been trying. MJ was just a tad intimidating and whenever he tried to bring it up things just got awkward and weird and he couldn’t get the words out. Hanging out with MJ wasn’t hard -- he did it all the time whether alone or with Ned, it was just that talking about his feelings just wasn’t easy. Reading Michelle and figuring out how she felt was even harder and the last thing that Peter wanted was to ruin their friendship. 

Ned seemed to be convinced that MJ did like him some days, but other days he thought she didn’t like him. Ned was absolutely no help and when it came to the trip, he was trying to get Peter to try and catch the attention of European girls on their trip which was entirely unappealing to Peter.  

“Not hard enough,” Bucky said. 

“It’s hard,” Peter said. 

Bucky pat his shoulder with his real hand. 

“You should go,” Steve said. “Hang out with your friends and see a few new places. Flirt a little.” 

“Steve!” 

“And definitely don’t take her to any raves,” Steve added. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “She’s more into ancient libraries than raves. And I think I will tell her. I’ll come up with a plan. It’ll be great.”

His dad chuckled. “Plans never really work out perfectly, kid.” 

“But maybe this way I can actually tell her and if we’re in Europe maybe I’ll find a good place to take her to when I tell her.”  

--

2020

The call came early in the morning. Early by Steve’s standards because Tony had been wide awake going on a few cups of coffee and deep in an engine and the sun wasn’t even really up yet although it was a matter of time before Steve was up for his morning run. But it was still he, that picked up the call when Friday told him it was important. 

“Hello?” Tony asked. 

“Hi, is this Tony Stark?” a female voice asked. 

“Yup. This is Tony,” Tony said and he waited because no one could get his direct line -- not unless Pepper or he personally gave it out. 

“I’m calling from the adoption agency. We have a match for you -- she’s four years old and we think you and Captain Rogers would be a good placement for her.”

His heart felt like it wanted to beat out of his chest. This was the call that he’d been waiting two years for -- since he and Steve had gotten married and since they had both decided that adoption was definitely for them. 

“I — yes, yes. We are definitely interested. Can I — What’s her name?” 

“Morgana,” the woman said. 

Morgana. A four year old. 

She kept talking, telling him a little about the case -- the steps that came next and a bunch of other things that Tony didn’t even really hear because the call had come. He and Steve were going to adopt. Since applying there had been a whole bunch of things for them to do. There had been home visits and evaluations. He and Steve had had to attend a few parenting courses, but it was all going to be worth it. And it was finally happening. It was amazing. When he got off the phone, it didn’t take him long to run out of the workshop. K-9 got up from his charging station and barked at him before he followed. 

“Steve! Steve! Peter!” 

Peter opened his bedroom door first. His hair was standing up in all directions and he looked decidedly bleary eyed. Steve opened their bedroom door a few seconds after, shield at hand. “What is it, what’s wrong?” 

Peter blinked at them. “There wasn’t an alarm,” he said. 

Tony shook his head. “No, no. No alarm. It’s -- I can’t believe it. Steve, we’re going to be dads.”

Steve blinked at him. “We’re already dads. Have you met Peter? Our son?”

Peter laughed as Steve walked to stand by him. He leaned a sleepy head on Steve’s shoulder. “It’s too early for jokes, dad.”

Steve rubbed his arm and Peter leaned a bit heavier on him. 

“The adoption agency called,” Tony said, bringing both Steve and Peter’s eyes back to him. 

Steve’s eyes widened, surprised. 

 Peter grinned. “Oh,” he said, “I’m going to be a big brother.”

“Yeah, kid. You are.” 

Peter yawned. “I’m like really excited, but I’m also really tired,” he muttered. 

Steve rubbed his shoulder gently. “I think back to bed with all of us,” Steve said, reaching for Tony’s hand. “Come on, we’ll have a huge breakfast to celebrate and you can tell me all the details.” 

“Her name is Morgana,” Tony said. “She’s four.”

“Morgana,” Steve repeated. “I like it.”

“Me too. Hey, did I ever tell you I was kind of obsessed with King Arthur and the knights of the round table?” 

“No,” Steve said, bemused. 

“So Morgana,” Tony said, “Like Arthur’s half-sister. It’s fitting. Meant to be, kind of.”

“Morgana,” Steve whispered. Tony kissed his shoulder. 

---

Peter took a look around the barn. It was red outside like most barns were. He’d actually looked up the reason for why barns were red and it was something to do with chemicals that farmers used to use to keep their wood from rotting. Now it was just paint. From the outside it looked entirely ordinary and no one would know that it housed a technologically advanced lab and workshop of one Tony Stark. And because his dad was his dad there was even a trap door that went down into a tunnel that led directly to the house -- the mansion -- that he’d designed and built. It had the personality of both of his dads and Peter absolutely loved it. 

“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Tony asked.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “No one will ever suspect that a farmer doesn’t live here.” 

Tony ruffled his hair. 

It was just a little bittersweet to know that this was all actually happening. His dad and Steve were moving from the tower into this farm. It wasn’t too far out of the city and it was admittedly really nice and quiet out there, but things were going to change soon. Not that Peter would have been around at the tower anyway since he was graduating in a few months and then after this summer it’d be off to college. Columbia. It had been that or NYU -- he’d gotten accepted to both. His dad had questioned his choice to not go to MIT.

“You’d love it there, kid, and it’s a great school and--”

“And it’s not in New York,” Peter had pointed out. 

Being in New York meant he could be Spider-Man. He could visit his dads and May. He could hang out with Ned when they had a spot of free time. His relationship with MJ didn’t have to turn long distance seeing as she was going to NYU. Not to mention that he wouldn’t miss out on spending time with his little sister. 

Peter hadn’t met Morgana yet, but his dad and Steve had and Peter had just had to look at them to know that they already loved her. And in just a few days she’d be coming home with them. 

He followed his dad out of the barn and towards the house. It really was a nice house -- the kind that were on 1000 piece puzzles but that no one ever saw in real life. It was huge but not overwhelmingly so. Steve was standing on the wrap around porch and he grinned at them as they headed over. 

“Hey, Joan from the agency just called. They okayed everything. We get to pick her up tomorrow.” 

“Really? But she said in three or four days and now—”

“I know,” Steve said. 

“Already,” Peter said.  

“I -- there’s still so much to do. We don’t even -- we haven’t even furnished this place yet and--”

Steve stepped forward and placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “Because we’re not moving yet,” Steve reminded him. “We’ll be at the tower for a few more months. Her room is ready. Everything is ready. You bought her a million things she won’t even need.” 

Tony nodded and Peter could tell that he was relaxing, especially when he turned to look at Steve. “She’s going to need everything we got for her.” 

Peter met Steve’s eyes and they smiled at each other because they both knew that Tony had gone a little overboard. But they should have known to expect that. 

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Peter said and he really couldn’t. 

“You’ll love her, Pete,” his dad said. 

Peter still remembered the conversation he’d had with the social worker that had come to check out the house. He’d been nervous because he didn’t want to ruin things for his dad and Steve, but the questions had been straight forward and mostly to do with how he felt about the adoption. He felt great about it — he was excited for the new addition to the family. Peter just didn’t know who would be spoiling Morgana the most. 

“Hey, do you think we can get a real dog out here? K-9’s going to need a friend,” Peter said. They had plenty of room for one. 

“I think your dad wants to get chickens, Pete. It might very well become a menagerie.” 

“Just because I think it would be interesting to have a few cows,” Tony said. 

“Because Shuri sent you pictures of cows once she heard about the farm,” Steve said. 

“Well did you know that there were so many cute cows?” Tony asked. “I think Morgana would appreciate having cows.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “We don’t need cows,” he said. “Morgana certainly doesn’t need cows.” 

“Okay. No cows. Maybe. But what about alpacas? At least one? We can name him Gerald.”

Steve looked like he was trying to hold in his laughter. 

“But, dad, what if it’s a girl?” Peter asked. 

“We can call her Geraldina.”

Peter saw Steve shaking his head, but Peter shrugged his shoulders. “They are kind of cute.”

He would await the day when he arrived at the farm and found an alpaca and some chickens and cows. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea for his dad to pick up a new hobby, though.  

“What about we welcome our -- we welcome Morgana into our lives first and then think about getting a zoo?” Steve asked. 

“I am tabling this conversation for later, but I do want to point out that we have the space and the time for it.”

“Sure, honey,” Steve said. 

Peter followed Steve inside. It still wasn’t fully furnished but it was kind of cool to actually see it finished after so long. It was different than the tower -- cozier and more homey with touches of tech because what Tony Stark house wouldn’t have that, but it also had a separation from that. It was perfect. 

“Hey,” his dad said after a while of walking from empty room to empty room. “You’re really okay with this right?”

“What? You guys moving?”

Tony nodded. 

“I am. It’s -- it’s what you guys want and I’ll like coming out here to visit all the time. And I’m excited about Morgana too. It’s -- it’s exciting. You guys deserve this after everything. Our lives are never going to be normal because I have spider powers and Steve is a supersoldier and you’re a genius but this is our family and Morgana is going to grow up with Thor showing up uninvited all the time and you building robots in the barn and maybe some alpacas and cows running around. And we all know I attract danger and trouble no matter where I go so--”

He was thinking back to the European trip. Peter had reluctantly taken his Spider-Man suit with him, but hadn’t intended to use it. His plans had entirely revolved around telling MJ he liked her. Somehow, he had managed to do that, but other things happened too. By the end of it, the world at large knew his identity and not just that -- they knew his father was Tony Stark. Things had settled down and ended fine by the end of it, but it had been rough going for a while and Peter didn’t think he would have handled it as well without his dad and Steve at his side. 

Still, at the rate that he was going, Peter expected that if he did end up dorming for school that his roommate might end up being some supervillain. Hell, maybe it would be one of his professors.

“Yeah. Not your finest quality, kid,” his dad said. “Maybe why I don’t like the idea of being too far from you.”

“In a suit, you can get to New York City in about fifteen minutes. Don’t worry. I’m an Avenger.”

His dad sighed. “Yeah, I know. Just, I guess to be honest, I’m a little worried about tomorrow.”

Peter sighed. “You’ve already met her and she likes you and Steve. It’s going to be fine. And Aunt May said you can call her any time for help or babysitting. Not to mention that she’s going to have the best big brother ever so…”

Tony laughed and he pulled Peter into his side. Peter went willingly. Things were going to change over the next few months but none of that was going to matter, not as long as the important things didn’t change. The important things being his family -- new additions and all.

-

Bonus Chapter

[challaudaku]

sunrise and solace

the sun's coming up, and tony helps peter out

read on: fanfiction.net characters: peter parker, tony stark words: 1122, by google docs notes: trigger warning for anxiety/panic attacks

Peter loves staying at the Avengers Facility. It’s great — he gets to work on edits to his suit with Mr. Stark, he gets to train with Captain America, his childhood crush, and it’s just nice to be in an environment where there’s other superheros — other people that understand him.

Except Peter can’t sleep there.

It’s a stupid thing, really. He can sleep fine in his apartment with May. He feels safe there. Something about being in the same apartment as her… It’s just calming.

Being in the Avengers Facility just reminds Peter about what he does everyday — fighting crime, knowing that each patrol could be his last.

It’s stupid that he feels less safe surrounded by Avengers — Earth’s mightiest heroes — but when he goes to bed, his anxiety starts to crawl up his stomach and keep him awake. He can’t stop thinking about everything he’s been through as Spider-man. Fighting against the Vulture, against Thanos, against the other Avengers. He keeps on thinking of endless scenarios where he doesn’t come on top. He keeps on thinking about how, one day, he won’t be able to save the people he’ll love. He’ll fail.

Tonight, he’s sitting on the roof of the building, his feet dangling off of the edge.

He doesn’t know what time it is — he stopped checking at around 3AM, but he can see the sun slowly begin to rise. Peter knows that if he doesn’t at least try to sleep, he’s going to be a wreck for the rest of the weekend.

Still, he knows that it’s not going to happen anytime soon, so he just stares at the sky, letting his anxieties consume him, for once.

He’s feeling especially panicky from a patrol he had the other day — it had been a simple robbery and it was easy enough to stop, but the robber had a gun and he had pointed it right at Peter and if Peter hadn’t dove away he would be dead and what if that happened with someone else? What if the gun was pointed at someone else? Could Peter have saved them? Is he going to be able to save anyone? Is he ever going to be a good enough superhero?

Peter can feel his heartbeat quickening and he can feel the panic rising in his throat and he doesn't know what to do he just wants it to stop stop stop stop everything just stop can it stop can his brain stop can the world just stop just stop stop —

“Kid?”

Peter whips around so fast, startled by the noise, he almost falls off of the roof. Catching himself and straightening up, he can see Mr. Stark standing by the door, his expression a mix of concern and confusion.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Beautiful sunrise, right?”

His voice cracks.

He can feel tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and he will not cry. He has no reason to cry and Peter will be damned if Mr. Stark deems him too unstable to continue staying at the Avengers Facility.

“Did you go to sleep at all, Pete?” Mr. Stark asks, looking deep into Peter’s face. Peter stares right on back, and he just can’t lie to him.

“No,” he admits, stepping a little bit away from the roof.

“What’s up?” Mr. Stark asks, his voice soft.

Peter blinks. There are still tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.

“I just couldn't sleep,” Peter says. God, he's so close to just panicking. Every part of his body just wants to stop. Maybe it would be better if he couldn't come back. Then he could with May and he could be safe and fine and he could actually sleep and not feel like he's about to panic.

“Pete,” Mr. Stark says, a small frown on his face, “only I'm allowed to stay up unhealthily late.”

Peter lets out a little tiny laugh — he did think it was a little funny — but his mind’s suddenly having trouble focusing on anything but panic.

Peter takes a few more steps forward and Mr. Stark must meet him in the middle, because before he knows it, Peter is leaning into Mr. Stark and a few tears are leaking out.

“I just feel so anxious, all the time,” Peter whispers.

Mr. Stark is stiff at first, like he doesn't know what to do, but then his arms are wrapped around Peter and he’s hugging him back.

“Hey, Peter,” Mr. Stark says, his voice still low, “let's just sit down.”

Pulling away from Peter, Mr. Stark sits down on the ground, cross-legged, and yanks on Peter’s hand. Peter sits down as well.

“You remember when those aliens attacked New York?” Mr. Stark asks, look forward to the sunrise.

“Yeah,” Peter says with a little chuckle, trying to take deep breaths. How could he forget it? He thought it was the coolest thing at the time, while May and Ben were getting increasingly stressed at the battle raging right near them. Peter, even from the next borough over, even on the fourth floor of their apartment, could still feel the ground shake at the battle raged on.

“After the whole thing was over,” Mr. Stark says, sounding almost nostalgic, “I got really bad panic attacks all the time.”

Peter looks over at Mr. Stark, because…

Well, because he's Mr. Stark. He's Iron Man. He doesn't deal with something as stupid as panic attacks. Peter panicking is him being stupid, he knows it. Still, he doesn't voice this thought.

Instead, Peter asks, “And?”

“And then I realized that I wasn't alone and they got better,” Mr. Stark says with a tiny glance to Peter.

Peter has to stop himself from snorting, because he knows he's not alone. He has May, and Mr. Stark, and every Avenger ever. It's not that he doesn't have the people, it's that his problems aren't theirs to deal with.

“Well, I let myself realize that they have big enough shoulders to carry some of my problems as well,” Mr. Stark continues, as if reading Peter’s mind.

Peter doesn't know what to say.

“Pete,” Mr. Stark says, sounding urgent. “I'm always here for you. It's okay to need someone. I've been through this. It gets better.”

Peter lets out a little sharp laugh, because he's not sure he believes that.  

“And if it doesn't?” he asks, swallowing hard.

“You're strong enough to deal with it,” Mr. Stark says, looking over at Peter.

His eyes show that he really, one hundred percent, believes that.

Peter looks back at the sunrise, swallowing again.

Maybe he should try and believe that, too.

[geekymoviemom]

Sins of the Fathers Chapter 10

Chapter 10 has been posted!  A huge thank-you to @stjohn27 for prereading.  ❤️

As his body and mind slowly drifted back towards consciousness, Tony breathed in, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the strong scent of the scratchy hospital linens and sharp disinfectant that flooded his senses. Tightening his fingers in Peter's hair, Tony shifted slightly, trying to keep most of the boy's weight off his sore abdomen and rib cage while still keeping Peter's ear resting over his chest piece. Even with the sedatives flowing into his little body along with the warming IV fluids, Peter's hands were fisted tightly into Tony's shirt, and his expression was still one of anguished fear, with his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed. His was not a peaceful sleep.

After a thorough examination, or at least as thorough it could be while he was practically glued to Tony's chest, the doctors were able to determine that Peter had no broken bones or other serious injuries. Peter's wrists were rubbed raw from the ropes Killian had used to tie his hands, and his bottom lip was bruised and nearly bitten through in a couple of places, but besides that and his dehydration and lingering lung issues, he was going to be fine. Eventually.

At least physically. Mentally was a whole other question. And one that Tony knew he was going to have to deal with, his personal distrust of shrinks notwithstanding. Peter had been through more trauma than any one person should ever have to deal with in his only nine years of life, and Tony finally had to admit that he was not equipped to help Peter the way he needed. Tony's method of dealing with trauma in the past had always been to bury himself in work, women, and alcohol, which, if he was completely honest with himself, he hadn't really improved on all that much. While he no longer considered himself a womanizer, he'd still chosen to bury himself in work following the Battle of New York, ignoring both his own need for rest and recuperation and Peter's need for stability.

Stability. Something a nine-year old kid should be able to take for granted.

Read more on AO3/ FFN :)

[granitemoon]

Young Avengers!!

They are totally coming, and I can’t wait.  I have so many scenes in my head regarding their formation and other adventures that they could go on. whether it’s a search for Scarlet Witch or a Patriot alone storyline (he needs more set-up, beyond if he is in Captain America: New world Order), or even a Cassie and Young Kang The Conqueror cause that would definitely be a really cool story, especially if a theory I’ve been seeing comes true. Anybody else wish or know if Marvel does an Internship for Young Writers? Also are you guys excited for the next MCU Movies!!

[captainamericasbeard]

A Long Road- Ch 1

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mild violence

Summary: While recovering in Wakanda Bucky meets a deadly stranger who needs to learn how to heal.

Part 2

My eyes snap open but my brain is still in a haze. Images race before my eyes and I squeeze them shut again, biting down bile. I see Captain America fighting off a dozen of my guards. A surge of hate in the pit of my stomach as his face swims in my mind. I see Black Widow, the legend I was spoon fed as a child, freeing me from my straps. ”What were they doing to her” she quizzes the air as she takes in the instrument tables surrounding my bed. Burning me alive I think in response. Even now the flames lick the edge of my vision and reach for my skin. The Red Room is on fire. 

I squeeze my eyes tighter and take in my surroundings with my other senses. It's clean, I can smell antiseptic. I hear the quiet hum of electricity and the clicking of keys. I sense the soft footsteps and rustling movement of a half dozen bodies.  There’s a low murmur of voices in a language I don’t recognize. How is that possible? I know them all… My eyes open again, slowly this time. I’m wary of being overloaded with too much information. 

I’m in a lab surrounded by equipment I don’t recognize. Lab techs in white coats flit around me, ghosts trying to avoid my gaze. Once again I'm strapped to a table. Always restrained, I think, I must be as dangerous as they say. I begin to analyze the room, looking for exits, guns, testing my straps. The leather and metal creak under me. A young girl appears at my shoulder. Dark skin, dark eyes, hair falling in long braids, she can’t be older than 19. She smiles at me, an attempt at reassurance. 

“Don’t worry, you’re safe.” Her accent is thick, central African I decide. “My name is Suri, what’s yours?” I ignore her question and continue looking around. I can see the dark blue of Cap’s uniform and the black of Romanoff’s behind frosted observational glass. My eyes lock on the super solider and I begin to pull at my restraints in earnest. There’s a fire in my gut telling me to strike this man with everything they put inside of me. 

“Calm down,” Suri says anxiously, “no one here is going to hurt you.” She glances up quickly giving silent orders to a lab tech out of my field of vision. When she looks back at me I lock my eyes on her’s. She begins to instinctively back away as she realizes I’ve chosen my target. I’m nearly free of the leather straps around my wrists. Suddenly there’s a needle in my arm. 

My left arm snaps free at last and I swing my hand up to the tech who is attempting to administer a sedative. I catch him by the throat and hold his gaze as I choke the air out of his lungs. As he loses consciousness I fling him to the ground and snap the restraint on my other arm. I sit up quickly. My body is quickly ridding itself of the remains of the drug cocktail my handlers used to control me. I bend over begin to work on my ankle restraints, throwing guard after guard off of me as a second thought. 

I’m on my feet and moving towards the exit when I'm surrounded by my team of so-called rescuers. Captain America stands in front of me, his only weapon is his broad body blocking the only exit to the lab. His mouth is moving but I’ve blocked out the sound of his voice and am assessing my surroundings. Widow is on my left, her stance wide, her hand hovering over the gun in her hip holster. A third man I don’t recognize is on my right, his fists clenched and ready to strike. I feel like a trapped cat and every muscle in my body is tensed for the strike. 

I feel him coming behind me before I ever see him. His form swims in my peripheral mind, tall and broad. I aim to swing a kick around at my attacker’s head but my arms are pinned across my abdomen and my wrists held tightly by one hand that’s human and one that's not. I thrash and howl with pain and feel his grip relax reflexively. I take advantage of his weakness and aim to crush his foot with mine. He throws us to the ground with me on top of him and pins my legs with his. 

“Now!” He shouts to Suri who has waited just out of my reach with a needle full of clear liquid. I have to give her credit for her bravery. All the other techs have fled, but this her lab and she has a job to do. She darts forward and plunges the needle into my arm pumping sedative into the muscle thats straining against my captor. I can feel his advantage slipping as I work my arms out of his grip. A few more seconds and I’ll be free to show him exactly what kind of weapon they created to replace him. A few more seconds…

But then I'm the one who’s slipping away. Darkness creeps to the edge of my vision and my eyes fill with fear as I realize I'm losing control. My movements become weaker and less effective and he’s redoubling his grip on me even as I drift away. “It’s going to be ok,” he whispers gruffly in my ear as I lose consciousness completely. 

“Ok Sargent Barnes, you can let her go. She’s safe now.” Suri says as Bucky examines me without relaxing his grip, checking to see if I’m faking. My breathing is shallow but steady and my head rests limp against his chest. “I promise, Bucky. This sedative was created for you while you were being treated with us. She’s out,” the princess reassures. It’s her use of his nickname that lets him know she’s sure. 

“Get her into chryo as quick as you can. We don’t know what kind of regenerative capabilities she has,” Bucky warns as he gently lays me back on your table. His gut is filling with guilt at what he’s just had to do to me. He can still remember what it feels like, being trapped and drugged like an animal. Being out of control. “What’s her name?” He asks softly.

“She won’t have one, only the one they gave her,” Nat says stepping forward. “Thanks for stepping in Bucky. She’s clearly been trained to recognize us as a threat.” Bucky nods stepping away from the bed to look at the man on the ground. Techs have surrounded him and are scanning him with medical equipment, healing his vocal cords even as he regains consciousness. “I should’ve been faster. She’s stronger than we realized. How did you even get her out?” "We think they’d just been working on her, she was pretty sedated.” Cap chimed in, stepping forward to greet his best friend, “Things went south fast. There is no Red Room anymore, not in Moscow at least.” 

“The Red Room? I thought they trained assassins?” Bucky looked quizzically at Nat, forgetting to be delicate about her past.

“We got intel through some of my old contacts in Kiev, they want to be in the Winter Solider business. A lot of groups have been trying to reproduce what Hydra did with you and it looks like one of them finally succeeded,” she shrugged, glancing over at me.

“Well I’m glad you got out,” Bucky replies wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders in a quick hug, “all of you.” He looks back down at the me. They’ve wheeled in a cryogenic sleep chamber and are attaching monitors to my chest and arms. My eyes flutter. 

“Don’t worry Buck, they’ll get it out of her. They’ve got you semi stable.” He says smiling.

“Yeah, but I wanted to be fixed. She doesn’t. She’s every inch a weapon. Who knows how much of her is left in there.” Cap doesn’t know how to respond. He’s taken back by the concern in his friend’s voice and the care in his eyes. Especially towards someone who just tried to kick him in the head. Cap claps his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. “Come on man, we’re going to go debrief and then you can show me this farm you’ve been going on about. Goats? Really?”

Bucky smiles and the corners of his eyes crinkle but they don’t move away from my form now being lowered into the chamber. 

“Don’t worry Sergeant Barnes, I’ll let you know when she’s safely under. She’ll be in good hands with us.” Suri reassures as Cap turns Bucky towards the door. He manages to meet Cap’s gaze. 

“Yeah, goats. And they have names.” The group laughs at a now domesticated Winter Solider as they move out of the lab. Bucky offers one last glance back but the medical team has surrounded my chamber, blocking me from view. Suri looks down at me, her brown eyes blazing with determination. “I don’t know your name but I know you can hear me. I also know this isn’t who you were born to be, it’s who they made you, like a spear beaten into shape. I will get you out, I promise.” Her voice lingers on the edge of my consciousness. I’m fighting to wake up but slowly my veins fill with ice as the people around me try to freeze out the fire they set in me long ago. Which will win? I wonder as you slip under the waves, fire or ice? 

Thanks for reading. Leave some love.

[buckychristwrites]

Teaser

Pairing: Modern!AU, Bouncer!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: What Bucky thought was going to be a normal evening, with him going home after a long night of work and passing out, ends up being the adventure he never expected to have when he follows you on your drunken quest of vengeance, acceptance, and moving on, and somewhere along the way, finds those things for himself.

Warnings: Swearing, drinking

Tags: OPEN :)

A/N: Hello! This is my entry for @jewelswrites-ish‘s Writing Challenge! :) The prompt is included in the teaser, and can be found in Part 2. I will be posting new chapters on Sundays! First chapter will be posted November 4rd! Please let me know what you think!

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” You said softly. “I really can get there myself.” When he glanced at you, he found your glossy eyes were still on him, and for a second, he wanted to tell you to watch where you were walking. The unsteadiness of each step you took made him uneasy, but you hadn’t fallen yet. Not completely, at least.

“I already told you,” He said, trying to sound kind as opposed to annoyed. “You’re wasted. There’s no way I’m letting you go on the subway by yourself.” Without warning you, he began to cross the street with you jogging to catch up to him.

“I promise I’ll try to be quick at the house,” You told him, panting slightly. With his long legs and you current slowed down body, it was easy for Bucky to be a few strides ahead of you. “Just grab my stuff and get out. You won’t even have to come inside.” At this, he let out a laugh.

“Are you kidding? Of course I have to come inside.” He didn’t realize he was still laughing until his words came out slightly staggered. “I have to go through Quill’s medicine cabinet to prove he takes those dick enlargement pills that are advertised on porn sites. Steve and I have a bet going.” The sound of your footsteps behind him slowed down. When Bucky couldn’t hear them at all, he turned around to find you about five yards behind.

“There it is.” It was so quiet in the distance that he almost didn’t hear it.

“There what is?” He grew even more confused when you laughed slightly, looking up at the sky as you began to walk again, your body swaying with every step.

“I’ve been asking myself for however long it’s been since we left the bar, you know, why we’re not closer? You’re being so kind to me and caring. Why haven’t we gotten along in the past?” You shook your head as you pointed at him. “And I’ve thought that a lot before when we’ve hung out with the group. But then, almost on cue, you dump on whatever guy I’m dating at the time and I remember when you say shit like that, it’s literally the reason we can’t be friends.”

~~

Tags

Mutuals to signal boost! 

@bvcks, @sebs-manbun, @ltfrankcastle, @wi-atch, @autumnstarks, @brckenwhiteboi, @hopespym, @the-canary, @bucky-plums-barnes

All The Things 

@pizzarollpatrol, @of-outerspace, @fallenaristocat, @gracefulish, @jamesbvck, @buckysbeech, @dontpanc, @lovinglokiforever, @kingsebstan, @kaaatniss, @meg-holland, @rvmanova, @fracturedmotivationwriting, @daringbanshee, @wantyoubackpeter, @parkerstan, @jnej, @rogrsnbarnes, @starlightfound, @loislp, @connorshero, @fanadict-cumberbatch, @for-laufeyson-without-question, @humanexile, @slytherin-in-hufflepuff-robes, @thepandadrawer, @wintrsoldiers, @delmars, @c-ly-g, @laurfangirl424, @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen, @vidi-et-amavi, @avngersunite, @sincerelymlg, @finecelle, @moonstruckhargrove, @sofreakinmanyfandoms, @crypticavengers, @sarah13kate

Bucky

@bucky-slut, @stanclub, @tirzahwrites, @whitewolfbabylon, @drunkonpinklemonade, @littlemissexistential-xxiv, @rnjolnirs, @crazyinspiration, @buckybarneshairpullingkink, @the-right-partner13, @rebelfleur22, @valkyriesbi, @jitterbuck, @fandom-and-feminism, @heckin-kat, @moriartysadalek, @lokis-dottir, @mrsdeanwinchester19, @missmarveladdict, @buckysbabydollellie,  @piensa-bonito

[omnomsauruswrites]

Flying High

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Is that a sex swing? 

Mats were under a hoop the next time Bucky walked in with Steve and Sam to the gym. Three pairs of eyes looked up to see y/n hanging from it. “Holy shit, y/n!” Sam exclaimed in surprise.

“Hey guys,” she called, moving her one leg to wrap around the strap.

“What are you doing?”

“Aerial dancing.”

She moved again, hanging her legs over the bottoms of the hoop and bending down so her hands dangled down. The hoop was low enough that her hand grazed Steve’s hair and Bucky felt a twinge of jealousy.

Her arms went back to bar, as she unhooked her legs and moved them into a V. “So what? You were in cirque de soleil?” Sam asked.

“No, bird brain. I picked this up in college as a hobby,” she answered, reaching a hand towards Bucky.

He moved towards her, lifting his head to be with-in inches of her face. “Hey, handsome,” she whispered.

He smiled at her. “Hey, Angel. You coming down anytime soon?”

“Maybe.” She let her fingers dance in his hair before moving again. This time hanging from the bar and Bucky’s hands went to her waist to bring her down. “Thanks, Sarge.”

She turned in his arms, his hands resting on her hips. “How did you trick Tony into buying the aerial hoop, doll?”

“Told him it was a sex swing.” Sam burst out in laughter. Bucky smirked at you as Steve blushed. “He asked for a show by the way.”

Bucky started seeing red and growled. She started laughing before adding, “Don’t worry, Buck. The only person getting a show is you. You three have fun with your workout.”

She laid on their bed, reading a book when she heard the door open. She didn’t acknowledge the person entering, just kept reading. She felt fingers slowly run up her calf. The bed dipped as she felt lips on her bare shoulder. “When do I get a private show of you on the hoop, doll?”

Bucky’s lip moved up to her neck but stopped when she turned on her back. “Oh, so you didn’t want me to invite everyone to the show?” she asked with mischief in her eyes.

His fingers grazed over her ribs causing her to giggle. His lips captured hers in a passionate kiss. “Troublemaker.”

“You love it,” she gasped, as his fingers dug deeper into her ribs.

“I do, I really do. Now how do we get a sex swing in here, so we don’t have to go all the way to the gym?”

@valkyrieofsmut

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (161/163)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Sixty

-

The first thing that Steve did once he’d stepped into the portal and over to another planet was step towards Tony. Tony was there first, reaching for him. Steve fell right into the hug and then a few moments later, Peter was there hugging them both and Steve knew the world was right again. They’d done it. He turned slightly, bringing an arm around Peter’s shoulders. 

“I said you’d make it out too,” Peter said. 

“I know, Pete.” It was good to see him away from the orange tones of the Soul Stone.

When Peter stepped back, Steve had eyes only for Tony and he could see how much Tony’s eyes glinted with unshed tears. There was anger and pain there and Steve knew it was his fault -- he didn’t regret it at all even if it was clear that he had put Tony through something. 

When Steve’s hands had touched him, his fingers brushing tears away before they had a chance to fall very far, Tony melted under his touch and he took in a breath, shuddering as his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into Steve’s touch.    

“You’re never leaving me like that again,” Tony told him in a whisper.

“Never,” Steve whispered back and Steve drew him into his chest and Tony let out a breath as he pressed his face into Steve’s neck. Steve breathed him in and closed his eyes and everything felt right. He had Tony in his arms, Peter was just a few feet away, and Thanos had been dealt with. 

“You know I had to,” Steve said, low and just for them. “The choice was me or you and Peter needs you more. The world needs you more.”

“But I need you,” Tony said.

“Not as much as you think,” Steve said and it was true. Tony would have survived if he had really died as much as he might try to deny it. Tony would have done it for Peter and for the others and Steve would have become just a memory. 

Tony let him go after a long moment and then he turned away and Steve noticed their audience. None of them seemed to be bothered by them, though. He saw Natasha’s smile and the way that Nebula was almost smiling. 

Natasha hugged him and then Thor picked him up off the floor just because he could. Carol offered him a handshake and Scott grinned and hugged him awkwardly, letting go quickly and looking like he was about to offer an apology. 

“I’m not hugging you,” Rocket said just as Rhodey’s hand landed on Steve’s shoulder.

“Good to have you back, Cap.”

“Good to be back,” Steve returned.

Clint did hug him and he looked emotional and clearly ready to get back home and back to his returned family. Actually, almost everyone looked ready to leave, even those that actually belonged somewhere out in space. But then, they all did need to regroup, and the planet they were currently on didn’t look like it would be habitable for any of them.  

Strange got them all back to Earth using a portal and the first person they saw when they arrived at the compound was Nick Fury. Maria Hill was not far behind. 

“Right,” he said, “so here you lot are at last. The only people that might know what’s actually up and how we’re going to deal with the whole world in shambles.” 

“You mean the world we saved,” Tony said. “Including you.”

Carol stepped around Tony and Steve, then, and whatever Fury was going to say died on his lips. “Carol Danvers.”

“Hey,” Carol said with a smile. “I got your page.”

Steve had never seen Fury so pleased to see someone. If he were a hugger, Steve was sure that Fury would gone and hugged Carol, but as it was, he instead gave her a smile and a nod which was more than any of them got from him most days. 

“The only one around here with any answers was Ms. Potts and she’s too busy with your company to do much,” Fury said, directing his gaze at Tony. “But we need a plan. People are confused, they don’t know what happened and no one has offered any explanation. Some people are talking about that orange world we were all in, but not many. They need some answers and those should come from you.”

Steve hadn’t seen Fury in the stone. Then again, after finding Peter and Bucky, he hadn’t exactly been looking for anyone else. Maybe he should have. 

Tony sighed. “Fine.”

Steve touched his elbow and Tony smiled back at him. 

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked. 

“Well, I was planning on marrying you, but I guess that’s going to have to come second to everything else.” 

He could tell that Tony was joking but that there was some truth mixed in too. The thing of it was that there really was a lot for them to still do including putting the stones back. The aftermath of The Decimation and getting society back to normal wasn’t exactly their responsibility, but Fury was right in that they alone knew everything that happened and people needed answers. 

Carol walked ahead of them and into the compound with Fury at her side and he could tell that they were catching up. The others started following, but Tony stayed behind and so did Peter. 

“Strange,” Tony said, “I think it might be useful if you pop into Wakanda and get the rest of The Avengers back and maybe even T’Challa if he’s available.” 

That was a start. 

And even though he’d seen both Sam and Bucky in the stone and for a time he’d caught a glimpse of Wanda, he was excited to see them again outside of the stone. 

“I guess there’s no rest for the weary,” Tony said. 

---

Fury mostly just wanted to talk to him, Steve, and Carol. Tony didn’t really want to part with Peter, but he could tell that Peter was getting a bit antsy with not having seen May yet. So, when he realized that Strange had created a portal for Clint to go to his family and for Scott to go to his, he asked if he could send Peter to see May. 

“Are you sure, dad? I don’t want to--”

“Look, kid, I’m going to be busy for a few hours and it’s best you go now. You don’t want to keep her waiting. I’m surprised she hasn’t called/ See your friends too.” 

“Yes, definitely go see MJ,” a newly arrived Sam said and Peter stuck his tongue out at him. 

Tony had been there to witness Peter hugging Barnes -- almost as if Barnes were his best friend and not Steve’s. But Steve had hugged Barnes next with the same excitement while Tony greeted Sam. 

“They bonded,” Steve told him, “while they were in the stone.”

“Oh. That’s good that he had someone.”

“Yeah,” Steve said and then Tony watched him go check on Wanda. 

Wanda stuck close to Natasha and had ever since they’d been returned and Tony knew that she had to be taking it hard being back and Vision still being gone. Their only loss, it seemed. 

He, Steve, and Carol sat with Fury and together they came up with a plan of sorts and somehow Fury got the returned President and the Vice President on a video call to explain it all to them. At some point, they’d called Rhodey in too seeing as he’d been the one primarily dealing with the government before. 

In the end, it came down to the UN and the Accords council and a version of the truth was drafted to tell the public. It was mostly true and Tony didn’t really care as long as people stopped freaking out. 

At some point, Pepper arrived with her own numerous lists of things mostly to do with SI and how the company and Tony were going to help with the aftermath. They’d already been doing a lot back when the snap first happened, but Pepper wanted to do even more and she wanted Tony’s input. All of that of course came after she hugged him and hit him and after hugging everyone that had returned to them, she asked about Peter, and looked only a little deflated when Tony told her he was with May. 

By the time that everything was decided and Fury somehow convinced Carol and Steve to be the ones to give the news out to everyone in a pre-recorded video, Tony felt more than ready to collapse. Too much happened way too soon and they still had a lot more to do. The most important being the stones that needed to go back to the past -- to exactly where and when they had been taken from. It was one of the few things they were leaving off for another day. 

Tony was so tired that he didn’t even have the energy to ask after the living tree that Rocket was talking to in a corner. So when Steve touched his back, Tony let himself rest back into him. 

“I think everything is set up for tomorrow. We don’t have to worry about anything else, want to go home?” 

Tony nodded. “Better words have not been spoken. But, I’m still a little mad at you.”

Steve chuckled and kissed his cheek. “I did it because I needed to. For you. For Peter.” 

“I know and I love you for it. I want to marry you for it.”

---

Doctor Strange delivered him into May’s living room which was luckily empty, because Peter didn’t think that May could have handled him arriving via portal well at all. 

“May?” he called out. 

The house looked mostly the same and it was a good sign that it was clean and normal and that May hadn’t let it fall apart. It meant that maybe she was handling things better than Peter had expected. 

“May?” he called again. 

He walked towards the kitchen and found a few dishes on the sink but not much else, but when he turned, May was just outside the kitchen, standing completely still and with a hand covering her mouth. 

“Peter, is it really you?” 

“Yeah. May, haven’t you heard, we’re all back. My dad and The Avengers -- they did it.”

“Oh,” May said and then she stepped forward and Peter met her half way and hugged her and he could feel her shaking. She was crying and clinging to him and Peter felt so much absolute relief at being with her again. 

“Are you okay? What was it like? I couldn’t imagine -- when Tony told me, it was--”

“It wasn’t bad. Painless. It was just kind of boring but I wasn’t alone and we were safe until they brought us back.”

May nodded and she pulled back from the hug, her hands lifting to cup his cheek and look at his face. She seemed to be assessing him and making sure that he was all really there. 

“And your dad? Everyone else? Everyone okay?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah. They’re all okay. Everyone’s good and Thanos is gone.”

May told him about the last few months and how horrible things had been. She told him about the accidents that occurred when the snap happened and how the governments of the world were in shambles. 

“I don’t know how much worse things could have gotten,” May said. “Mostly I just spent my time hoping and wishing you’d come back. Your friends kept coming by and that helped a lot -- they’ll want to see you.”

Peter nodded quickly. “I want to see them too. Ned and MJ.” Saying her name made him blush a little and Peter didn’t know if it was because he really did have a crush or because of all the teasing Sam and Bucky had given him. 

He stayed with May for a while longer. She made him a sandwich and they turned on the tv, but there was mostly news coverage on everything that happened and Peter wasn’t too keen on seeing it. He kind of wanted to forget that it had happened at all. So May turned it off and Peter told her about what it had been like to be in space and in the Soul Stone. He tried not to tell her too much about how much danger he’d been in, but she seemed to have already been aware. 

“I yelled at your dad after he came to see me. He looked horrible and I knew that but I--” she trailed off and Peter could see a glint of guilt in her eyes. “I was just really upset and I blamed him even though I guess you would have disappeared wherever you were.”

“I think he blamed himself too,” Peter said. “It’s okay, May.” He hugged her again for a long time. 

Instead of going to see Ned or Michelle and getting in the way of their reunions with whatever family members had been dusted, Peter sent them both texts letting them know that he was back and well. Neither responded immediately. Instead, a text from Tony came in. 

Peter, I Am Your Father: Steve and I are going back to the tower for the night. Let me know if you’re staying with May or coming home.

He stayed with May a bit longer and managed to get on her computer to see for himself what was happening. He asked May if she wanted to go to the tower with him, but May shook her head and he could tell that she wished he would stay with her, but she didn’t push it. 

“I’ll be back soon, May,” Peter said before hugging her. “I just--”

“Your dad. I know,” May said. “Call and visit soon, though. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Peter decided to swing to the tower and it felt amazing to be back in New York and when he got close enough to see the tower from afar, he couldn’t help but smile wider because he really was home.

-

Chapter One Hundred Sixty Two

[challaudaku]

suffocating

Where’d all the air go? Steve’s pretty sure it disappeared, just like Bucky, just like Sam.

words: 366 by gdocs characters: steve rogers notes: this takes place right after infinity war. trigger warning for anxiety/panic attacks. #blamechi

Bucky turns into dust and Steve feels like he can’t breathe. He turns towards Thor and he wants to do something, but his insides feel so empty. He can’t stand the thought of losing Bucky again. For a third time.

And yet he did.

He just lost Bucky again.

What’s happening?

He barely hears the words, “oh, God,” escape his lips. He barely registers who is okay — Rhodes, Nat, Bruce, Thor…

His chest is tightening and he can’t breathe.

“Where’s Sam?” he manages to get out, because Sam will know what to do. Sam always knows what to do. Sam’s the one with the cool head and the rational mind and where’s Sam, Steve needs him, Steve needs him now, Steve can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe —

“I was looking for him on the field and he wasn’t responding,” Rhodes responds.

Steve can almost feel the force of Rhodes’ words settle on everyone. It’s like the temperature drops.

He wasn’t responding.

“No,” Steve says, getting to his feet.

Sam can’t be gone, he can’t, he can’t.

He still can’t breathe. Why can’t he breathe? Why is all the air gone from the atmosphere? Is he about to die, too?

“We need to take a roll call, find out who’s still here,” Nat says from somewhere behind Steve.

Steve nods. Whatever. He can’t —

He can’t fucking breathe where’s Sam why did he leave why did Bucky leave why did they lose they weren’t supposed to lose.

Steve’s panicking. He knows he’s panicking and he knows that Sam gave him tips to help him when he’s panicking, but he can’t fucking remember them and now Sam’s not even here to help him.

Steve turns in a circle slowly, and nobody’s moved. They all look as shocked as he feels.

He collapses to his knees again, and he’s pretty sure he’s actually going to die. There’s a hand on his shoulder — he thinks it’s Thor? — but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care. He still can’t fucking breathe.

Where’d all the air go? Steve’s pretty sure it disappeared, just like Bucky, just like Sam.

He never even got to say goodbye.

Oh, God.

[geekymoviemom]

Sins of the Fathers Chapter 13

Chapter 13 has been posted!  A huge thank-you to @stjohn27 for prereading. ❤️

"Project Insight?" Tony asked. "What the hell is that?"

"I am unaware as to the nature of this particular SHIELD project, sir," answered JARVIS. "It is not listed on any of their usual databases."

"Try Nick Fury again, JARVIS."

"Director Fury is still unavailable, sir. There is no mention of when he might return."

"Goddamnit!" cried Tony, slamming his fist on the counter. "What the hell is going on here?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, the beginnings of one of his old fatigue headaches building behind his eyes.

"Who's in charge of this Project Insight, JARVIS?" Tony asked as he scanned the blueprint. Based on his eidetic memory of the helicarrier from the Battle of New York, this newer carrier had undergone several changes to its design, including the addition of what appeared to be hundreds of cannon-like guns lining the sides and underside of the carrier. This was definitely a design meant to display great power and strength.

"It appears that only SHIELD agents with security classification levels of nine and ten have access to Project Insight, sir," answered JARVIS.

Tony huffed out a sharp breath, feeling as if the air was being forcibly ripped from his lungs. His SHIELD classification was only a level seven, and from what Steve had told him, his was likely even lower. "So that would leave Fury and this Alexander Pierce guy, right?"

"That is correct, sir."

"Oh, God," Tony gasped, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as his knees threatened to give way beneath him. All of it seemed like too much of a coincidence to only be a coincidence. Alexander Pierce, Nick Fury, Richard Parker, this Project Insight helicarrier-battleship thing that was suddenly above his clearance level.

None of it should make any sense.

And that's what was scaring Tony the most. Nick Fury had told Tony he'd been keeping tabs on Peter ever since Richard Parker was killed, and had even orchestrated it so that Peter was remanded into Tony's care after the Expo tragedy that took his aunt and uncle. That at least would suggest that Fury assumed Tony could protect the boy from any potential threats.

Well, Tony thought. He's at least got that right.

Read more on AO3/ FFN :)

[omnomsauruswrites]

I love this so very very much! And yes I’d get a stress fracture running with Cap! And you are always going to be my emergency contact cause I love ya!

Emergency Contact

How many times have I told you not to list me as an emergency contact? - Prompt for @omnomsauruswrites writing challenge. 

BFF’s: Nat x reader

You loved mornings like today. Outside, sun cresting the horizon, birds singing, peaceful.  It wasn’t often you made it to the park for sunrise yoga but it always relaxed you. And you needed relaxing after the week you’d had. Damn Tony and his malfunctioning machines that tore up the commons room on Monday. Tuesday’s shit storm was courtesy of Steve and Bucky sparring the gym into oblivion. Wednesday and Thursday delivered damn near back-to-back missions. Now, Friday, you were tired and just wanted a little tranquility. Meditating in the early hours at the park was always soothing.

Suddenly, to your chagrin, screaming goats shatter the still morning. Startled, you look around for the source and realize that it’s coming from your phone. What the hell? With an apologetic look to the people around you, who are currently giving you the stink-eye, you fumble with your phone to stop that atrocious noise.

“Oh great,” you grouse, seeing the name flashing on your caller ID. Swiping the answer button, “What do you want Nat?”

“Ms. Y/N, this is Nurse Cribbs at the Memorial ER. We have you listed as the emergency contact for Natasha Romanov.” What the fuck now??? Pinching the bridge of your nose, where an ache was forming, you wonder what’s she gotten into now.  “Ms. Y/N?”

“Yes, what happened?”

“She’s fine, resting and will be discharged in the next hour. She asked us to call you as she won’t be able to drive herself.” The nurse sounded like a nice lady but it was real difficult not to have very unnice thoughts right now.

You sigh and look wistfully around the calm and peaceful park, “That’s fine. I’ll be there.”

________________

Almost exactly an hour later, you stroll in the ER just in time to hear a loud commotion. The sinking feeling in your stomach proves right when you hear Nat screaming, “leave me alone you witch!”

You pass by a very exasperated looking nurse leaving Nat’s room and mumbling what sounded suspiciously like very inappropriate words. Nat’s eyes light up and she grins widely when she sees you, “Y/N!”

“How many times have I told you not to list me as an emergency contact?” You question wryly. “And when exactly did you change my ringtone? And WHY GOATS SCREAMING!?!”

“Well who else would I list but my best friend?” she asks innocently. “And you’re other ringtone sucked so I changed it while you were cooking dinner the other night.”

“We aren’t best friends, Nat. Hell, we aren’t friends at all! And leave my damn phone alone.”

“Of course we are. Bestie.” She says this with such a mix of conviction and mischievousness that you know you’ll be sorry for whatever she is up to.

“I have questions,” you say, rolling your eyes upward. “So, what’d you do this time?”

“Why do you have to say it like that? Maaybe I had an accident. Maaybe it’s a miracle I’m alive at all.” She sees the disbelieving look on my face. “Or maybe I tried keeping up with Steve this morning on his run and now I have stress fractures.”

“Uh huh. That sounds more like it. So you’ve taken to literally chasing after him now? Nat, really?”

She looks crestfallen for a moment, then perks up, “He did say nice form when he passed me on one lap.”  She sighs dreamily, “He totally wants me. Pretty sure he’s an ass guy.”

Throwing my hands in the air, “I give up!” Plopping down on the bed, you give her a quick hug. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Get me out of here and then drive by the Smoothie King.”

“Why am I going out of my way to drive BY the Smoothie King?” I question dubiously.

“Steve likes to get a smoothie after his runs and I want one more peek dat hot bod!”

I stare at you for a moment, sigh in defeat, and daydream about the park while you ramble on about Steve’s “hawt body”.

[captainamericasbeard]

A Long Road- Ch 2

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mild violence

Summary: While recovering in Wakanda Bucky meets a deadly stranger who needs to learn how to heal.

A/N: This took me a while to get out. I knew where I wanted to go I just couldn’t get there. Hope you like it! 

Part 1 ll Part 3

Bucky stands with his arms crossed in front of my chryotube listening intently as Shuri explains her deprograming procedures. His brow is furrowed as he watches me asleep, eyes fluttering.

“She’s fighting it,” he states calmly.

“Yes, unsuccessfully so far, but she is resisting. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Shuri’s voice is concern mingled with excitement. My brain is one of the most exciting things she’s come across.

“We built an algorithm that organically flushes out trigger words while retaining old memories. This way we can retain her sense of self and give her a chance to heal. Unfortunately we can’t selectively eliminate memories so she’ll have to sort through the traumatic ones.” Shuri looks at me with concern through the frosted glass. She can only imagine what horrors lie in wait for me when I awake. Bucky’s consternation matches Shuri’s, for him the trauma is still fresh, he’s still sorting through his own memories.

“My biggest concern is the brainwashing,” Shuri states tentatively, not wanting to alarm. Bucky looks at the princess with renewed fear. “She seems to operate not only through trigger words that grant control over her actions but a deep mental conditioning. She believes what she is doing is right. I don’t know how to fight this level of conditioning.

Bucky’s mind churns over. An assassin who believes in the cause is far more dangerous than one who is simply manipulated and controlled. Was there anything left to save?

2 Months later

I’m sitting in a blank room at a steel table across from my psychiatrist. His voice is buzzing in my ears but I'm not retaining anything he’s saying. My knees are drawn up to my chest while my arms are wrapped tightly around my legs. I can feel the panic rising through my body as the man drones on. I can't remember his name. I can’t remember my own. I bite my knee and begin to rock slightly in my chair. The pain is sharp and keeps me from spilling over the edge.

Until I see his movement out of the corner of my eye. He’s moved around the table and is reaching his hand toward my shoulder. His intent is to comfort, but it's a foolish decision. My body reflexively snaps into action. I plant my feet to the hard ground as I wrap my right hand around his wrist. With my left arm I slam his torso facedown into the table and wrench his arm up around his back. The sound of snapping bone fills the room, quickly replaced by his cries for help.

The Dora Milaje are there in a flash surrounding me with spears and shouts. I don’t respond to their threats, instead I grab a fistful of his hair and pull his head up leaning down to whisper threats into the sobbing man’s ear. “Don’t ever try to touch me again. No one touches me.” My voice is ice and venom. Then my body is full of fire. The guard has closed ranks and one of them prods me with her electrified spearhead. My eyes are black, pupils fully dilated as adrenaline triggers my programming. I raise my eyes to hers and watch her will falter. A cruel smile dances on my lips as I anticipate the fight.

I wrest the spear out of her hands and return her shocks blow for blow, driving the spear through her shoulder. Then it's a blur, a swirling mass of spears and skin all trying to subdue me. Their shocks are nothing for my enhanced skin and muscles, a minor irritation only serving to increase my anger. Suddenly an alarm blares and bright lights flash. That does more to subdue me than the women surrounding me. I drop my spear and cover my ears. I’m screaming but the sirens drown out the sound of my voice. It triggers a deluge of memory, light and sound being used to torture me, to beat my mind into submission. Then there’s the needle in my arm again. I didn’t even see the techs come in but I find I almost welcome their presence and the relief I know unconsciousness will bring.

The noise fades as I slip away, collapsing to the ground and into a pair of familiar strong arms. Something stirs my memory, I’ve been here before. I have just enough consciousness left to try to fight the tight grip around my arms and torso. His grip tightens as his scent fills my nostrils, sweat and dirt and sunshine. His voice is in my head again, “Just let go darlin’, I’ve got you.” Surprisingly, I obey and slump limp against his chest. Then there's a stretcher and I'm being wheeled back to the chryotube. At the edge of my consciousness I can hear the girl from the lab speaking quickly in hushed, worried tones.

“-we’re having trouble reaching her. Her programming is so much stronger than yours was, if you can believe that. We’ve removed her trigger words but her conditioning remains.”

The small group of techs, Shuri, and Bucky rush into the lab with my stretcher, eager to get me back into chryo before my system purges my body of the sedative they’ve just administered.

“Thank goodness you were here Sargent Barnes, I do not think the Dora Milaje could have held her.” Shuri says as she casts Bucky a swift, grateful look.

“What are you going to do Shuri? I might not be there next time and she’s just too strong.” Bucky’s eyes are softened with concern as he watches me get lowered into the chryotube.

“I want to try the tincture made from the heart-shaped herb that we used on you. It will not give her increased powers, as if she needed them, but it will send her to the ancestral plane. A lot of healing can happen there.”

“Who’s going to convince her? She’d have to take it voluntarily. And I don’t think she’s going to allow herself to be put in such a vulnerable position anytime soon.”

“I’m going to continue to work on reconditioning her while she’s under. It’s a difficult process, I don’t know what’s her and what they put in her. But I think it will have to be you to convince her, Sargent Barnes. You’re the only one who knows where she is.”

Bucky turns his attention back to my face. It’s peaceful, for once, the drugs are doing their job well. How am I going to convince her, he wonders, how can I reach this woman? Does she even want to be saved?

Again, hope you enjoyed! Please leave some love.

[omnomsauruswrites]

Royal Blue

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word Prompt: Hoodies, for @captain-rogers-beard​ for #Mimi’s Fall Into Marvel Challenge

Summary: What happens after you accidentally wear Bucky’s hoodie

The royal blue hoodie was on a back of the kitchen chair and you didn’t think twice before you swiped it and gathered your snacks for a Brooklyn Nine-Nine marathon.

Your day had been shit. One of Tony’s new inventions had malfunctioned and caught fire, which set off the sprinkler system, dousing you. Of course, today was the day you wore white, making your blouse see-through. Tony had apologized multiple times, saying he’d dry clean your clothes. You all but growled at him the third time he said something.

Lucky for you Friday nights meant team nights and you’d have the whole place to yourself. You wouldn’t have to see Tony until possibly Monday. So you set your sights on Andy Samberg and the cast to make you laugh and make the day better.

Your fingers had turned orange from the Cheetos and your cheeks hurt from laughing. You sighed. It was the perfect way to unwind. You knew the silence wouldn’t last long, looking at the clock, the team should be back soon. And as if on cue the elevator doors opened and you heard Clint’s drunken voice. If he was drunk, then everyone but Cap and Bucky were too.

You pulled the sleeves of the hoodie over your hands, trying to disappear within it as your eyes continued to stare at the TV.

“Hey Y/n,” you heard Clint sing-song.

You rolled your eyes, nodding but not turning. “Are you still angry at Tony?” he asked at too high of a volume.

“Clint, I’m right here.”

“Why are there two of you?” he commented, as he sat down next to you.

“Cause your drunk, sweetheart,” you replied, patting his hand.

He hummed before stealing some of your Cheetos. “Clint….” you growled.

“I’m hungry,” he whined, before stuffing them in his mouth.

You rolled your eyes before picking up the bag and getting up off the couch. “Y/n?” Steve asked suddenly.

“Yeah,” you responded, shuffling to the kitchen.

“Where did you get the hoodie?”

You pointed to the kitchen chair. “There.”

“It’s twice your size.”

You looked down, noticing indeed it was, laying on your mid-thigh, the sleeves engulfing your hands. You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves to get a glass of water. “It’s Bucky’s,” Steve mentioned.

You spit out your water on the kitchen backsplash. It was… no… it couldn’t be. You looked down again, noticing for the first time the faded B. Oh, fuck, oh fuck… it was… “Why are you wearing my hoodie?” you heard a husky voice question.

You turned and Bucky was staring right at you, his eyebrows creased in confusion. “I… uhh…” you ripped it off quickly, pushing it into his chest. “I was cold,” you completed before almost sprinting out of there.

You had to put on Bucky Barnes’ hoodie didn’t you. You groaned into the pillow before rolling on to your back, staring at the black ceiling. You couldn’t sleep. You were plagued with the fact that you had put on your crush’s hoodie. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” you muttered to yourself as you banged your head against the softness. You glanced at the clock. Everyone should be in bed. You sat up, before getting up off the bed and grabbed the blanket, throwing it on your shoulders.

You left your room, using the dim hallway lights to guide you to the elevators. You needed air after your embarrassment, so you went to the one place you could truly find space. The roof.

New York City sparkled all around as you sat on the lounger, staring up at the sky. You wished you could see the stars, it was the one thing missing in the NYC sky. You had always wondered if Steve and Bucky saw them in the 30s and 40s, but you didn’t have the heart to ask. You sighed. You had told yourself to get over this little crush, but it had seemed to grown in the past weeks.

Bucky had been doing little things that would make your stomach flip, making sure that you got a cup of coffee in the mornings, the last slice of cake or a voice on what movies they watched. You didn’t know what had started it. For the most part, you helped Tony in his lab and trained on your own just because you could. Well, that and Tony insisted you be prepared.

The first time you spared with Steve, you forgot to duck and he had been so close to punching your cheek that you went to the basics of punching and kicking. After months, you had improved to where you could avoid a punch from Steve and he had suggested you start to train with Bucky. You had protested. Your crush at that point was already big enough to where you’d try to be polite and exit the room as soon as you could when he was in it. However, Steve insisted, which had brought you two closer.

A ding of the elevators pulled you out of your thoughts, as your eyes fell on the man that you had been trying to avoid. “Hey,” he whispered.

You nodded, curling into your blanket. You tried your best to look small and to be uninterested in his appearance on the roof. You knew his feelings on sharing and it probably had pissed him off that you had taken his hoodie.

You continued to stare at the skyline, watching the light pollution all around that was until Bucky’s figure blocked your view. You sighed. “What?” you asked with irritation.

“Why did you run?”

The bustling of the city was the only sound the two of you heard. He crouched down after a few minutes, as you realized he was wearing the same hoodie you had been wearing early. “Why did you run?” he repeated.

You looked away before a finger brought your face back to his. You sighed. “I didn’t know it was yours, ok,” you muttered.

His finger lingered on your jaw. “That doesn’t really…”

“Cause it’s you.”

His finger dropped from your face as he stayed crouched. His eyes searching yours. You let out a more exasperated sigh. “Guess we really are doing this huh…..” You stood from the lounger, walking to the edge of the roof, as you kept your back to him. “Cause I have the HUUUUUUUGEST crush on you. And I shouldn’t. And I’ve tried not to. And the moment, I put it on, I should have known. For FUCK’S. SAKE. I should have known. But life gave me a good curveball today and I just wanted to….”

You paused. Today had been shit and you had just wanted to be comforted and warm and the hoodie had done that for you. “I wanted to be comforted and your hoodie … it did that for me.”

You shrugged and the blanket fell off your shoulder, exposing skin to the nippy fall air. Silence fell around the both of you again. Your eyes closed and shook your head, pulling up the blanket again. You stepped away from the ledge, the silence becoming too much. You made your way to the door.

“Don’t go,” Bucky called out.

You hung your head. It was a simple request and it made you stop, your hand on the door knob.

“Please, stop running away from me.”

Your hand left the door, but you didn’t turn. It took a beat before he spoke again. “I liked….,” you heard him swallow. “I liked seeing you in my hoodie.”

You felt your heart beat out of your chest, but you still couldn’t turn around.

“I like sparing with you. I hate it when you try subtly to exit a room that I just entered. I hate that you don’t come to team night’s unless forced because there’s nothing I want more than you sitting next to me,” he confessed.

You closed your eyes, letting the moment sink into your skin before turning to face him. Your hand rearranged your ponytail as you stared at him in his blue hoodie and basketball shorts. “Does this mean I get to wear the hoodie?” you quipped, trying to take the edge off the conversation.

“You can have anything of mine.”

You laughed. “Anything?” you pondered, as he stepped closer.

“Anything, as long as you stop running,” he answered, standing a foot away from you.

You tilted your head and searched his blue orbs. “We really going to do this?”

He nodded, as he took your hand. “Yes, doll, we are really going to do this.”

“And all it took was me wearing your hoodie, huh?”

He laughed, the happiness making its way to his eyes.

“Yep.”

You took the step forward, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I want the hoodie, want all the hoodies.”

“Done,” he said before his lips met yours.

Taglist: @muggleluna  @littleravenwrites @cari105 @valkyrieofsmut @scuzmunkie @soldierplum @captain-rogers-beard (FYI... if you are my new girl taglist and want to be on the everything taglist please let me know. I just didn’t want to tag everyone <3)

[captainamericasbeard]

After The Fight

The argument had been a long time coming. I stare blankly into my locker replaying the hurtful words we’d thrown around on the sparing floor. I hated my training sessions with Cap. I preferred Bucky, our fighting styles were better suited to each other. Loose and creative. Lazy and impulsive according, to Steve.

I slam the locker door shut. “Lazy.” His voice is ringing in my ears. That one hurt the most. I’d been busting my ass for months and today I get called lazy.

“Everyone looks lazy next to you,” I’d spat, “dial it down!” My eyes had pricked. I blamed the sweat.

I change and wash my face, trying to calm down. No one can piss me off quite like Steve Rogers. But I’m determined not to let it ruin the rest of my day. I don’t have to see him again until debrief. I gather my things and think about lunch. I’ve worked up an appetite.

I sling my bag over my shoulder and whip open the locker room door. Eyes down, I don’t see him as I stride down the hallway and he grabs my arm to stop me.

“I’m sorry.”

I look into his bright blue eyes and he is. I’m silent, his words had stung me more than I’d realized.

He sighs heavily, “Your’e not lazy, that was cruel. You could be better than you are though. It’s frustrating you won’t see it.” Apologizing while he defends his position, that’s the Steve Rogers way.

He takes a step toward me. The weight of so much more hangs heavily in the air between us. My breath comes up short and I take a step back.

“I think I’m going to train with Bucky from now on,” I say as I free my arm from his grip. All I can think of is putting space between us but his reaction surprises me. He’s hurt.

“Don’t do that, we’re good together.” His voice is pleading.

“We’re really not. I can see how frustrated you get with me.” “Because you could be better but you hold back,” his voice rises, “you could be as good as Nat but you won’t push.”

“No,” I say softly. I don’t know what else to say.

He grips my shoulders with both hands. “Yes. You’re better than you know.”

I’m suddenly aware of all of him. His rough hands hold me tightly. His broad chest rises and falls rapidly. His lips are slightly parted, his eyes are locked on mine. All at once his gaze is too much for me and my eyes drop to the floor. He thinks of me more and thinks more of me than I’d ever known. My anger melts away and something else takes it’s place, something I can't yet identify.

“Ok,” I say, barely above a whisper. I clear my throat. “I’ll train with you. I don’t agree but I’m done arguing with you.”

Relief washes over his face as his soft lips break into a grin.

“Good! Good.” He drops his hands and shuffles his feet. “Ok then.” Neither of us know what to say. I hitch my bag up on my shoulder.

“Okay,” I mutter, “I’m going to go.” I begin to step away.

“Okay.” He steps back toward the locker room. I finally notice he’s still dressed from training. He’d waited for me instead of changing.

“See you tomorrow” and he smiles again.

“Yeah.” I turn and walk away. My head is too full to say anything else. I take a deep breath and let the moment sink into my skin. I close my eyes but I still see him in front of me. Shaking my head, I walk faster.