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ugh-yoongi · 14 days

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ex-conomics | csc

you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.

⚽ pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader ⚽ genre: exes to (lite) enemies to lovers; university au; angst, fluff ⚽ rating: while there is nothing explicit in this fic, there are two brief references to smut. while i can't stop anyone from reading this, i would prefer minors do not interact with this or any of my work. ⚽ warnings: cheol is some degree of famous, reader is a grad student/TA, mentions of an injury and coping with the aftermath of it, lots of economics talk that even i do not understand, swearing, one mention of alcohol, some misplaced jealousy, rom-com tropes, dino is kind of a loser but we love him anyway. probably a lot of other things i missed, but this is actually pretty tame for a fic of this length. ⚽ word count: 13.4k ⚽ thank you: a lot of people looked this over for me in the process and i'm sure i will forget some of them so if i do i'm sorry: @the-boy-meets-evil, @hot-soop, @highvern, and @haologram, who also gave me some wonderful ideas for the vlogs. thank you to MIT for opencourseware existing. i took microeconomics and dropped it, so i couldn't have done this without you. everyone in the discord server for helping me along the way and keeping me motivated. ⚽ author's note: i haven't posted a fic in nearly seven months, so i think it goes without saying that there are parts of this i like and a lot more i'm not 100% happy with. i'd love if this was more fleshed out and 10k longer, but i was able to write anything at all so it's good enough. this was written for the back to school with seventeen collab, hosted by @camandemstudios. thank you both for letting me participate! please make sure to check out the rest of the stories! everyone worked so hard and this collab was a ton of fun to participate in. <3

You look down at the paper. Back up at who handed it to you. Down at the paper again.

“You’ve got to be joking.”

The poor freshman kid laughs, all nerves, and even though the sound is grating, you remember what it’s like to be forced into work study. How far away graduate school seemed; how large your professors loomed over you with all their power and knowledge and credentials; how you constantly felt like the dumbest person in nearly every room you walked into for four straight years.

“Um—”

You sigh, just barely resisting the urge to slam your head onto your desk. “I—it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Your words do little to ease Freshman’s nerves. He’s still hunched over in the doorway of your office, wringing his hands as he shifts his weight back and forth, in for a lifetime of body pain with the way he’s squaring his shoulders. “You’re sure about this, though? Like, I’m really not being set up?”

“I don’t think so?” he offers, slowly starting to turn green right before your eyes. “Dr. Lee ga-gave me the paperwork himself, I don’t think he would’ve messed it up? Oh no, did I mess it up? Should I go back to Student Services and conf—”

Good god, this kid’s anxiety is gonna stink up your office for weeks. “No need!” you interject. “I’ll just…” Sign it, you want to say, but the longer you stare at the sheet of paper the quicker you’re losing your resolve.

TUTORING REQUEST FORM Student Name: Choi Seungcheol Degree: Undergraduate Major: Business Course: ECON04101 Introduction to Microeconomics Instructor: Lee Yeonseok, PhD. Recommended Tutoring: High (3-4 hours per week)

You curse under your breath. Of the two names on the paper, Dr. Lee’s does not come as a surprise. He’s a notorious hard-ass with an infamous attrition rate—most students don’t last more than a week in any of his classes—but he’s also the sole reason you were able to pay for someof your grad school tuition out of pocket with all the tutoring money you made.

That, however, was two years ago.

“Does he know I don’t tutor anymore?” Stupid question. The kid stares blankly back at you, as if to say I don’t know any more than the people in Student Services, let alone Dr. Lee. It is literally my first year here. “I’m Dr. Ahn’s TA this year. I’ve got my hands full with her bullsh… stuff—”

Immediately, you know you’ve said something wrong, because the kid’s eyes light up, all that previous anxiety disappearing like smoke. “Wait, the same Dr. Ahn that teaches the crypto course?”

“No, that one died,” you say quickly. Kid deflates. “Anyway, I don’t really tutor anymore, especially for econ. As you can see”—you gesture vaguely around the cramped four walls of your office—“they’ve upgraded me. They even put my name on a little placard by the door! Go look! They spelled it wrong! If that doesn’t sum up this university I don’t know what does.”

You heave another sigh. Try to school your face and tone into something that exudes professionalism and finality. “Look, I’m sorry I can’t help you. I tutored Dr. Lee’s students for, like, three years in undergrad so I’m sure they just… forgot that wasn’t my actual job here. Who’s in charge of tutoring these days? I’ll shoot them an email and explain all this.”

Freshman gives you a name, and it takes less than a second to find them in the employee directory. You expect that to be the end of it, but he’s still taking up space in your doorway. You quirk an eyebrow. “Yes?”

The hand-wringing returns, along with an embarrassed flush that disappears beneath the neckline of his school-branded sweatshirt. “I just—um. Maybe you could, uh. Send that now? Before I get back there?”

You blink. “Don’t you have to go all the way back across campus? How slow do you think I type?” He shrugs, and you give up on the idea of getting rid of him. “Fine. What’s your name, anyway?”

“Lee Chan. I’m a sophomore. Do you know that guy?”

“Oh. I thought for sure you were a freshman, but you’re gonna need to be more specific, Lee Chan, Sophomore.”

“The guy they want you to tutor.” You freeze. The guy they want you to tutor is—“Choi Seungcheol,” Chan tacks on, and, yeah, you know—knew, you correct yourself—someone with that name, once upon a time.

But there are a lot of Chois and a lot of Seungcheols. It’s been years since you’ve spoken to the Seungcheol you knew, and that was when he’d broken up with you to—“I heard he’s a football player? Well, used to be, I guess. The girls in the office were freaking out so I guess he’s pretty famous, but I don’t know anything about sports, do you? They said they have photocards of him. I thought they only did that for idols.”

You think about being kids together in Daegu. Think about the exasperated looks you’d share when your parents would drag the two of you to festivals: Palgongsan in the autumn, Biseulsan in the spring; transformation and rebirth. Think about being eight years old and watching your father cram into the small space of the Chois’ living room, standing around the TV with Seungcheol’s dad, shouting at Park Jonghwan. Daegu FC made the FA Cup quarterfinals that year, and you think, of everything, that’s what you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

You think about falling in love slowly. Sixteen and clueless, the pair of you were. Didn’t really know any different, just that you’d look at him and feel butterflies. That you’d hold hands in secret. Text beneath the dinner table. That you’d watch him on the football pitch and be consumed by pride. That the future felt impossibly far away, that life would never catch up to the two of you.

You think about all the football jargon you didn’t understand—the academies, the teams, the implications. You think about, I’m thinking about trying out for the FC Seoul U-18, I just don’t think there’s much more I can do here in Daegu. You think about replying, Oh, I applied to university there.

You remember thinking it must’ve been fate, how easy that had worked out. How easy that first hurdle had been overcome.

You think about how fast everything happened. The try-out, the acceptance, the explosion. Remember being unable to go anywhere those first few months without seeing Seungcheol’s face, touted as the next big thing. Think about applying for scholarships when he was applying for international visas. Think about studying for midterms when Seungcheol was studying English for interviews.

You think about the last few weeks of your relationship, when it felt like you were desperately trying to cling to ghosts. Think about how Seoul had once felt endlessly big, both in opportunity and size, and how it now felt suffocating. You think about, So you’re just giving up? Is that what you’re saying? Think about, I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t feel fair to you.

You think about all the places you’ve watched him. On countless football pitches; shy glances in school hallways; in the passenger seat, wracked with nerves on the drive to Seoul; poised above you in bed, hairline dotted with sweat as he rolled his hips, telling you how much he loved you.

You think about watching him walk out the door, and how you never watched him again.

So you fire off your email, concise and to the point about why you can’t tutor Choi Seungcheol in Introduction to Microeconomics, and turn to Lee Chan, Sophomore.

“No,” you finally answer. “Never heard of him.”

For all intents and purposes, your rejection should’ve been the end of it.

A few days go by. You hold office hours, attend lectures, work on your thesis when you have both the time and the energy. Try to ignore the feeling of bees beneath your skin, anxiety needling each time you check your email. You were well within your right to decline the tutoring request, but you can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong. That someone somehow knows who Seungcheol was to you and will pull you up on it. That those girls who’d gushed about him to Chan are somewhere laughing at your expense.

But you don’t hear anything at all about it… until you do.

Sunday evening. You haven’t moved from your couch in hours, some variety show playing in the background, barely audible over your keyboard clacking. Much to your detriment, you don’t write many papers these days, so you’re out of practice. Feels like you haven’t done anything besides formulas in years, all of your academic knowledge reduced to fucking math, so you’re about ready to toss your laptop out the window long before the email even comes through.

You see, From: Lee Yeonseok. You see, Subject: Choi Seungcheol - Tutoring.

Your stomach plummets to the floor.

You scan the body quickly. You see the words personal favor… friend of his father… urgent matter… and your hands start shaking. Whether it’s from the sheer audacity of this man or anxiety, you aren’t sure, but it’s not like it matters. There aren’t a whole lot of people on campus brave or dumb enough to go up against him twice.

“Motherfucker,” you spit, bitter the only taste in your mouth.

Where did you go wrong to wind up here? You’d followed the script: got the grades, passed the exams, received half of the required education for the Respectable Career, helped a few others along the way chase dreams that may or may not have been their own. You’d fallen in love. Only had a broken heart to show for it, but that’d been in the script, too: The First Love, followed by The First Heartbreak.

The split from Seungcheol was supposed to have been the end of that chapter. You’d planned on never seeing him again, and you never would have, had it been up to you. Apparently the universe has other plans, participation required.

“Did you spill onion dip on the rug again?” You startle, sending your laptop flying. Kaori, your roommate, is perched halfway in between the living room and the kitchen like a cryptid, clearly not expecting your reaction. “Oh. Were you watching porn?”

Face burning, you fetch your laptop from the floor. “In a common area? Kaori, please, I have far more decorum than that.”

She snorts, resuming her trek to the fridge. “See, that’s what I thought, but then I walked out here and you threw your laptop so fast it was like watching my ex get caught watching furry porn all over again.” She pries the lid off a large container of yogurt. “You think this is still good?”

“Dunno. What’s it smell like?”

She sniffs it and pulls it back to check the label. “Vanilla, I think, which is concerning because it’s supposed to be strawberry.”

You shrug. “What’s the worst that can happen, you get extra”—you pause, trying to remember the correct order of things, before giving up entirely—“...biotics?”

“Mm, so close. Care if I just eat this with a spoon?”

Nose scrunched, you wave her off. “Couldn’t pay me to eat yogurt on a good day, let alone if it’s expired. All yours, babe.”

Spoon in hand and a pleased smile on her face, Kaori collapses onto the couch beside you. You try to return your attention to your paper, try to find your momentum again, and it works for all of ten minutes before you’re groaning and slamming the top closed.

You don’t even need to look over to know Kaori’s staring. “What’s up with you?” she asks. Before she can answer: “Wait, is this serious? Because I can’t have a serious conversation in this t-shirt.” You steal a glance sideways. Ask Me About My Hemorrhoid! it says, and you exhale loudly. “Don’t breathe at me, I lost a bet.”

“And continued wearing it?”

She jokingly rolls her eyes. “God forbid a girl has hobbies.” Nudges you with her foot. “C’mon, spill.”

Kaori doesn’t know about you and Seungcheol. Most people don’t, aside from a few old classmates from Daegu who found you on social media and tried befriending you once he started making a name for himself in Seoul. After that, it was just easier to keep things private while you were together. New friends knew you were seeing someone but not their name or how long you’d been together. Any curiosity surrounding why the Choi Seungcheol was following you on Insta had been waved away easily. Our parents are friends, we grew up together. Then you broke up, and there wasn’t any evidence to delete, and he wasn’t following you on Instagram anymore, and it was easier that way.

So, yeah—even though you hadn’t met her until years later, Kaori knows you have an ex. She knows you’ve had a few flings and situationships in the time since, too, and it’s why she’s none the wiser when you ask, “It’s nothing, really. Just—do you follow football at all?”

“Nah, not really. The new guy’s pretty into it and keeps trying to get me to watch the games with him, but it’s so fucking boring? I dunno, I can’t get into it. Not in real life, anyway—I binged all of Captain Tsubasa in an embarrassingly short amount of time, though. Why?”

“Student Services asked me to tutor someone the other day and I had to turn it down. I just don’t have the time, you know? This semester’s already killer, and Dr. Ahn’s been riding my ass nonstop about grades. Turns out it’s some football player, so Dr. Lee emailed me asking me to do it as a personal favor, which means, on top of all the other shit I have to do, I’m now tutoring some football player four hours a week in Microeconomics.”

Her face distorts. “God, that guy’s such a prick. Like wow, you’re good at the economy! Good for you! Who cares! Why don’t you go balance the national debt or something instead of torturing university freshmen!”

You also wrongly assume that’s the last you’ll hear of it from Kaori.

Two days later, after Student Services replies to your email with the days and times you’ll be tutoring Seungcheol, she materializes in the living room to harass you.

“You didn’t tell me your football player was Choi Seungcheol.”

The panic is instant. You know how she means it, but it’s not how your body interprets it. All of a sudden it feels like an interrogation, an accusation, and a whopping serving of guilt takes up residence in the middle of your chest for not being entirely honest.

“Explains this weird text Ken sent me.”

She slides her phone over to you, open to her text thread with her current flavor of the week. Beneath an article about Seungcheol enrolling in classes at your school:

doesn’t ur roomie TA there Why are you calling her “ur roomie” like you don’t know her name?? Rude. Also yes. ask her to get me an autograph No babe pls he was my fav player before he got injured No 🙄 fine. can i come over later? Starting to think you’re using me for my roommate. Get your own job 🙄

You hand her phone back. “I didn’t think you’d know who Choi Seungcheol even is.” It’s the best you can do, even though it just digs you a deeper grave. “You said you’re not into football.”

“I’m not, but unfortunately I am into that stupid man.” She sighs, wistful and longing. “Babe, you have to understand. His dick is so big.”

You hadn’t wanted to stay in Seoul for your graduate degree, let alone the same university you’d gone to for undergrad.

You’d applied to schools all over—Japan, Europe, even a few in the States. Romanticized the hell out of NYU, went window shopping for an overpriced apartment, picked a favorite pizzeria based on nothing but vibes and online reviews. In those few months after graduation, there wasn’t a whole lot tying you to Seoul. Your and Seungcheol’s relationship had been old history by then, your parents split. Your dad stayed in your childhood home and your mother moved a few hours closer to her sister. They’d waited until your brother was old enough to be out of the house.

And it’d just been… a lot. Overwhelming. Some days you could barely shower or feed yourself, let alone move halfway across the world, so you’d stayed in the familiar and tried not to let it feel like failure.

But the good thing about familiarity is you learn its tricks, figure out the hiding spots. Early on, your first or second week of grad school, you laid claim to a study room on a floor of the library everyone else ignored. You write notes on the whiteboard with faded blue markers that are still there days later. The chair on the opposite side of the table is always exactly where you left it, the space between it and the table enough to only accommodate you. Sometimes you leave books—old paperbacks littered with notes in your writing—or papers, just to see if they move.

They never do.

And all of this is why it feels like a punch to the gut when that sanctity is tainted. When you’re halfway through a stack of Dr. Ahn’s exams and the doorknob rattles behind you. When you don’t even need to turn around to know who it is, because he still sounds the same, still has that overwhelming presence. You’ve always sensed him before you felt him.

“There you are,” Dr. Lee says, ambling into the room before you can protest. He, too, is overwhelming, just in different ways. Immaculate posture that anchors his slight frame that’s always dressed impeccably and expensively. Wears a watch that’s triple your tuition. Shoes polished so bright they’re nearly blinding. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

This time it is an accusation.

Well, you found me, you want to say, but just knowing Seungcheol is behind him, lingering in that half-study room, half-hallway space, is enough to keep you quiet. Like if you speak you’ll summon him closer and you’ll no longer be able to pretend this is nothing more than a nightmare.

You plaster on a polite smile. Say, “Ah, here I am, kyosu-nim,” and put all your energy into trying to glue Seungcheol to the floor with your mind.

Which is fruitless, because Dr. Lee moves further into the room. Gestures for Seungcheol to follow him with an impatient huff, and the study room is small, sure, and with three people it feels cramped, but that’s not the reason it feels like all the air’s been sucked out of the room.

Seungcheol looks… different. He looks as anxious as you feel, and he sticks close to the wall like he’s trying to disappear. Dr. Lee introduces him with grave importance, unaware of your history, and the forced smile he offers you almost looks embarrassed.

You know Dr. Lee is still hammering away, probably giving you a stern talking-to for rejecting his request the first time, but you can’t tear your eyes away from Seungcheol. Feels like the world around you has reduced to a pinhead, all hyperfocus; feels like your lungs are sucking in stale air one at a time.

“...his father is a very good friend of mine, so I expect…”

You expected to feel nothing. Seungcheol had left to chase his dream—one you’d always been so supportive of that it sometimes felt like your dream, too—and, perhaps naively, you thought the distance and the years would’ve been enough. You expected your heart to have hardened. You expected all those nights you spent crying to hit you at full force. You expected anger, hurt—indifference, at the very least.

“...as many hours per week as you both can manage…”

But you should’ve known better. Should’ve expected the butterflies, the way your palms grow clammy, the way your heart rate spikes. Should’ve expected everything to feel upside-down. You should’ve expected to look at Seungcheol and feel sixteen and in love all over again.

“...you are responsible for his academic progress…”

And that simply will not do. You’ve spent the last few years pulling yourself out of that hole, clawing your way back to something resembling normal. You’ve purged the thought of him from your mind—let his scent fade from your sheets, an old sweatshirt he’d left behind; forgot the way his lips felt against every inch of your skin; forgot the way his entire being lit up when he laughed; forgot the safety he encompassed, the way he whispered all those sweet nothings.

You cannot go there again.

So you roll your shoulders back, smile politely. Say, “Ah, kyosu-nim, Choi Seungcheol-ssi seems very intelligent, I’m sure he is capable of being responsible for his own academic standing, don’t you think?”

Dr. Lee cannot disagree without all but calling Seungcheol an idiot, so he hovers before you in shocked silence. Makes a show of huffing and checking his watch, like he’s all of a sudden remembered he’s late for something and being inconvenienced by this conversation he started, and then he’s halfway out of the library with a terse, “Discuss and figure this out amongst yourselves,” thrown over his shoulder.

You have an entire dramatic exit planned in your head. Gather your things, fake a phone call that makes you sound authoritative and important, and brush past Seungcheol wearing your nicest perfume as if all of this is so far beneath you you can’t even bring yourself to care about it.

Of course, you actually have to brush by him for any of that to happen, and since you’ve already decided you will not go there again, you quickly scribble your email address onto a piece of paper and slide it across the table at Seungcheol, who has steadfastly remained planted just outside the door. “Here’s my email. I don’t have time to discuss this right now.” Seungcheol cocks an eyebrow. You start throwing things into your bag haphazardly. You know you look frantic and affected, but there’s not much you can do about that. “What? Send me a copy of your syllabus and what you want to prioritize. It’ll be easier to get through this if we have a plan instead of winging it.”

He seems to catch on to your distaste because he mirrors it. Scoffs as he rolls his eyes and says, “Yeah, no use spending more time together than we have to,” and if you hadn’t gone years without speaking, you would’ve seen right through it.

But you did, so it stings all the same.

As it typically does, the planet keeps spinning after your run-in with Seungcheol.

You grade Dr. Ahn’s coursework. Try running off your anxiety at the gym, even though it’s pretty good at keeping pace with you these days. You meet Kaori’s maybe-boyfriend sneaking out of your apartment early in the morning and he has the good sense not to mention your ex, but you chalk that up to the mess of hickeys covering his neck and not any sense of social decorum.

Other people’s embarrassment saves you a ton of your own, you’ve come to learn.

Throughout all of this, Seungcheol only emails you once to send you his course syllabus. Doesn’t mention tutoring or provide you with his schedule or ask for yours, so when you’re sitting in a bar with your friends, three or four drinks deep and feeling a little petty, you forward him the original tutoring request and make sure to bold, underline, and highlight the “Recommended Tutoring: High” part for good measure.

He doesn’t take your bait—electronically, at least—but he does show up to your office hours the following Tuesday.

Bag tossed onto the floor, he flops unceremoniously into the chair across from you and says, in lieu of a greeting, “They spelled your name wrong. On the door thing.”

“I know,” you reply, your smile polite and terse. Incredible how he has the ability to raise your blood pressure in milliseconds. “What can I help you with?”

“Depends. How long do you have?”

“Well, considering you’ve shown up to my office hours on time, I’m assuming you already know I’m here every Tuesday and Thursday from four to six. So”—you glance at the clock above the door—“assuming no one comes by who needs my help more than you do, you have approximately one hour and fifty-eight minutes.”

Seungcheol is quiet for a moment as he takes you in. His stare is weighted; it makes you feel a little green around the edges. Clinical and sharp, so far removed from the way he used to look at you. You clear your throat. “I looked over your syllabus. The good news is there’s only a midterm and a final and the rest is problem sets. The bad news is there’s only a midterm and a final so they’re weighted quite heavily. You really need to know this stuff inside-out to have any hope of passing.”

“That’s why you’re here, right? Dr. Lee specifically requested you.”

You huff a breath through your nose. “I’m here as supplemental help. I can’t take your exams or do your readings for you. What else are you taking this semester?”

He sighs, sinking further into the chair, very much playing the part of the heir who has no interest in any of this. Which… is unlike him, you think, if you’re even allowed to. The Seungcheol you knew years ago took everything so seriously. Never clipped corners or took shortcuts. Anyone else would think him a spoiled, petulant child. “Business Accounting and International Trade.”

“Could be worse,” you note. “At least those three courses are tangentially related.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes. “Easy for you to say. I haven’t taken a fucking math class in years.”

You return it. “You remember how to add and subtract, don’t you?”

“I ruptured my ACL, not my…” He trails off, looking a little embarrassed that he can’t name a part of the—“Brain.”

Whatever you were going to quip back with dies on your tongue. It's the first time Seungcheol has broached the topic of his injury—the first you’re hearing of it at all, actually—and he says it like it’s a joke, like it’s not a thing at all, but the pain is all over his face. The bitterness of the situation he’s found himself in. The unfairness of it all.

And there are so many questions you want to ask that aren’t your place: if it’s fixable, if he’ll ever play again, how he’s coping. But you don’t really need to—you can’t imagine how you’d feel if someone suddenly pulled the rug out from under you. If everything contained within the four walls of your office suddenly disappeared.

Not that the man sitting across from you hadn’t already done that, but.

“Right,” you continue, as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You know Seungcheol—know he wouldn’t want you prodding, sticking your fingers in that particular wound. “I want you to take a look at this,” you say, handing over a printout you have saved from your undergrad tutoring days. “Tell me what looks familiar, what doesn’t; what does and doesn’t make sense.”

He looks down at the paper. Back up at you. Down at the paper again. “What the fuck is this?”

“I—what? Cheol, it’s my old notes on recitation. Surely you’ve already covered this—the syllabus says this is week one stuff.” He looks down at the paper again, and it’s so familiar, watching the life drain entirely from someone’s eyes.

You barely resist the urge to slam your face onto your desk a second time.

You meet Seungcheol at the sports center for your next tutoring session.

He likes the humidity and the smell of the chlorine by the pool. He also likes that it’s not the football pitch, so the two of you sit in the bleachers there and go over his lecture notes. Much to your surprise, Seungcheol talks a mile a minute. Has stars in his eyes when he says he finally understands elastic demand curves, supply shock; tells you he spent a whole hour making flashcards.

It’s the first time you’ve seen him so excited since your tutoring began—the first glimmer of hope you’ve felt since Dr. Lee cornered you in your library hideaway. None of this surprises you. Seungcheol has always been smart, even when football was his primary (and sometimes only) focus. He has more determination and grit than anyone you’ve ever met, so you’re not surprised he’s doing well, excelling, but you are surprised—

“Can I ask you something?” Seungcheol shrugs, shoves half a protein bar in his mouth and swallows without chewing. “Why are you… uh. Here?”

“At this university?”

“Not exactly. I mean, I am wondering about that, but I guess… why business?”

Seungcheol hums. Tucks his good knee to his chest and stares down at the pool. No one’s using it, and truthfully the two of you probably aren’t even allowed to be here, but you understand why he likes it. It’s nowhere near as secluded as the library and definitely not as air conditioned, but it is peaceful. Calm. The water laps against the coping in quiet, small waves.

“Ah, I don’t know. You know how it goes.”

You quirk an eyebrow. Never, in all the years you’ve known him, has Seungcheol done anything he didn’t want to do. All that grit and determination. “What about your father, then? Dr. Lee mentioned this was a favor to him. He’s a pretty important person to have in your Rolodex of favors.”

Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what this is: Seungcheol’s father has new money; worked from the bottom up, made some smart investment decisions that finally panned out after Seungcheol left for Seoul. Started doing his own thing, made a name for himself. Last you’d heard from your mother, Seungcheol’s brother was second-in-command. Hell, even your own brother did an internship there.

So you know what this is: a father helping his son after his dream was shattered, life turned upside-down. You can’t blame him, even if you’ve heard the whispers from all the way across campus. That Seungcheol is washed up now, trying to nepo his way into his father’s company because of it; that all he knows is sports and he should’ve stuck to that, what does he know about business, why is he the one Dr. Lee went out of his way to help.

Doesn’t stop any of them from smiling at him, though; doesn’t stop them from asking for autographs or selfies.

But you also know this isn’t something Seungcheol seems willing to discuss, so you crack a joke—“I mean, business. God, who’d wanna go into that?”—and go back to what he was willing to talk about.

You’ve never hated elastic demand curves so much in your life.

Deep in the throes of tutoring—when you can’t tell if it’s week two or week twelve—you make it back to your apartment just before ten, head pounding.

The door flies open just as you’re about to punch in the code, and there stands Ken, looking far more put-off than you’ve ever seen him. Looks defeated, if you’re being honest, like someone mopped up all his emotions and wrung them out like dirty dishwater.

“Oh, hi,” you say hesitantly. The man in front of you seems too much like a caged animal to let your guard down. “Everything okay?”

He aborts a nod halfway. Mutters an apology as he brushes by you and stalks down the hall, disappearing around the corner to the elevators. Usually he’s a talker—you haven’t been able to avoid a Seungcheol-related conversation in weeks—so you’re a little stunned. Stand there stupidly for a while, and that’s where Kaori finds you a moment later.

“You gonna stand out here all night, or…?”

“Oh—yeah, right.”

You follow her inside. Toe off your shoes and put them in the rack. Focus on the sound of the kettle whistling instead of the overbearing tension in the room. Drop your bag off in your room, throw on a sweatshirt three sizes too big and a comfy pair of socks. Rummage through the fridge for leftovers, contemplate what mindless show you’ll watch as you eat, and you do not, under any circumstances, ask Kaori what happened.

You don’t have to. You knew what this was going to be the first time Ken spent the night—the way he looked mortified to be meeting you in the shared kitchen at seven a.m., wearing a look that begged you not to tell your roommate he was sneaking out.

I, uh, have an early class, he’d said. You know how it is.

Maybe you should’ve called him on it then. Issued a warning-but-not-really. She’ll get attached if you don’t tell her. She should know it’s different for you, if it is.

But you’d convinced yourself it wasn’t your place. Kaori wouldn’t want you in her business like that, so you stayed quiet, just nodded before watching him slip his shoes on and close the door behind him so quietly you wouldn’t have known he left at all if you hadn’t been looking. Gone, just like a ghost.

So, yeah, you know exactly why your roommate looks haunted.

“I’m a few episodes behind on this if you want to watch with me,” you offer, pointing at the television with the remote. It’s a lie—you’ve never watched this show a day in your life, which Kaori seems to know—but she contemplates it nonetheless. “Also, my mom mailed us some cookies. I think they’re in the fridge.”

“Why are there cookies in the fridge?”

You huff a laugh. “They were outside the door this morning before I left for campus. I don’t know—just saw who the package was from and was like, oh, this must go in the fridge.”

She nods. Grabs the container and joins you on the couch. Sticks her feet beneath your butt and doesn’t mention a thing.

The closest she comes is a few days later. Catches you right before you head out to campus and asks how tutoring is going.

“Not bad, actually.”

Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes when she says, “That’s good. I’m glad things are going well for you two.”

Lee Chan, Sophomore makes his unexpected return at your office hours on an unsuspecting Tuesday.

“Can I help you?”

He doesn’t answer right away, just helps himself to the seat across from you. “Maybe,” comes his cryptic retort. “I was thinking about signing up for that crypto course next semester.”

You narrow your eyes. “No, you weren’t.”

He sighs. Looks a little panicked, like he can’t believe that didn’t work. “You’re right, you’re right. I, um—I wanted to come say thank you.” He pauses. “You know, for that… email you sent.”

You blink. “No, you didn’t.”

Lee Chan, Sophomore cracks immediately. Thunks his head on your desk and lets loose a pained sound. It nearly sounds like he’s wailing when he says, “I’m sorry! They put me up to it!”

What you’re able to piece together is this: Lee Chan, Sophomore has become a bit of a celebrity in the Student Services department ever since he met you, Choi Seungcheol’s tutor. And, like any smart, previously unpopular university student would do, he took advantage of it. Might’ve stretched the truth a little to make it sound like he knew more than he did, so now here he is, angling for information the girls with the photocards may or may not have paid him to get.

“They want to know about his girlfriend.”

“His what?”

What you’re able to piece together is also this: the Photocard Girls are certain Seungcheol is dating someone, based on little more than vibes. You suspect these vibes are their three degrees of separation, considering there was an abnormal amount of Change of Major files formed after his enrollment, but you tell Lee Chan that you don’t know anything and, even if you did, you wouldn’t put his business out there like that.

But some part of you still has this inexplicable urge to protect Seungcheol, so you match their offer with interest and tell him to say there’s nothing to report—not that you didn’t know, not that he couldn’t get anything out of you. Seungcheol isn’t dating anyone.

You don’t know if it’s true, but you figure that if it isn’t, he still deserves privacy.

Which is a notion you have trouble explaining a few hours later, when Seungcheol strolls into your office with a grease-stained paper bag full of cheese coin bread, offering one to you with a proud smile that drops slowly when you just stare in return.

“What’s wrong?”

Your mouth opens, closes, opens again. Nothing comes out, even though it should be simple. Some sophomore kid was just in here angling for information or the Student Services department is taking bets on whether or not you have a girlfriend would both suffice, but you cannot bring yourself to say the words.

What you settle on is, “Sorry, I just… had an interesting meeting before you got here.”

“Oh. Are you okay?”

You sigh. Tilt your head back to stare up at the ceiling. “It was about you, actually.”

Seungcheol chokes, starts stuttering over words you can’t make sense of. Says, “Me? Why? I passed my last exam—I mean, barely, but I still passed. And that wasn’t your fault! I didn’t study enough! I’ve been losing my mind over my International Trade class, that shit sucks—”

“It wasn’t about your grades, Cheol.”

“Oh.” Then, slowly, a lopsided, pleased smile overtakes his face. “Haven’t heard you call me Cheol in a while.”

“Seungcheol,” you correct.

He seems to forget all about the meeting. Tries again to offer you a coin bread before he threatens to eat them all himself, so you acquiesce mostly to shut him up, say you’ll bring the extras to Kaori. For some reason, you tell him about how much she’d loved the cookies your mom sent, and the nostalgia sets him off, gets him talking again, asking if they were the yakgwa she used to make when you two were kids.

They were, but you can’t seem to tell him that, either.

Seungcheol: sorry it’s last minute - running late. can you meet me at my place instead?

Seungcheol shared a location with you

You’re halfway to replying—I don’t think that’s appropriate—before you sigh and delete it. Midterms are only a few days away and you don’t have time to argue over where your tutoring sessions will be, so if Seungcheol wants to meet at his apartment that’s where you’ll meet him.

You read over the midterm notes on the train. Once, twice, and then a hundred more times until they’re nearly memorized, all so you can ignore the voice in the back of your head saying what a bad idea this is. That you have no business being on your way to your ex’s swanky part of town or integrating yourself into his life beyond tutoring at all. You shouldn’t know where he lives. Maybe you shouldn’t even have his phone number or answer his texts.

Not that there’s much you can do about it now, two stops away.

Seungcheol greets you warmly, if not a little rushed. Apologizes for the mess once you step inside, although it’s less “mess” and more “haven’t finished unpacking,” but there’s enough clear space to study at the dining table, so that’s where you set up, determined to keep things professional.

“Sorry again about this,” Seungcheol says, placing a can of cola in front of you as he takes the seat across. “I had to meet with my father and lost track of time, I guess.”

“Oh. How’s he doing?”

Seungcheol sighs, leans further back in the chair as runs a hand through his hair. A light brown, now. “Same as he always was, I guess. Talked about the business, about my brother. Can’t get him to shut up about that stuff most of the time.”

“The business is doing good, though.” You cough, clear your throat. “My, uh. My brother interned there during undergrad. I don’t know if your father told you that.”

You don’t know why you say it, because it’s clear from the brief flicker of pain on Seungcheol’s face that he hadn’t known, that no one had told him. And it hurts you too that they felt the need to keep it a secret, to protect Seungcheol from you even in tangential ways.

“He didn’t,” he admits, “but I’m sure he was happy to see him. He was, uh—he was glad to hear you’re my tutor. Said you were always smarter than all of us boys combined.”

You laugh. Hope it sounds casual instead of strained. “Well, no need to prove him right. Come on,” you say, tossing a study guide in his direction, “let’s get to work.”

Everything is alright for a while—nearly an hour at least. He has the formulas memorized and attributed to the correct equations. He can explain supply and demand, preference and utility, but things start to fall apart around budget constraints and constrained choice.

The formulas get mixed up. He grows frustrated when he doesn’t know the answers to your questions right away. Rolls his eyes and gets a little snappy when you correct him, try to explain things differently in a way he understands. At first he’s able to temper it, collect himself before things truly start spiraling out of control, but the longer the two of you sit there the more it all unravels.

He snaps, you snap back, and you can’t figure out why. You’ve survived this long in Seungcheol’s orbit even though you never thought you’d be around him again, and perhaps it was bound to explode eventually, but…

It’s the familiarity, you realize.

You and Seungcheol aren’t friends, though you’ve been playing at it for weeks now: meeting outside of the library or your office, the personal conversations bordering on reminiscing, being in his personal space. You don’t belong here. You don’t want to be his friend—you can’t be, not for real or pretend.

“That’s not what I’m say—”

“Then explain it better,” Seungcheol fires at you, eyebrows creasing. “You’re the tutor here.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m trying, okay? All I meant was—your answer isn’t wrong, but I know Dr. Lee and he’s going to want more than that in a response.”

“Right—not good enough, like I said.”

“I’m just asking you to expand on your answer—”

“And I’m telling you that’s all I’ve got. I’m not like you, all right? I don’t have all this shit just floating around in my head all the time. I’m not smart, I barely have any idea what’s going on half the time, and you sitting here being condescending about it is doing fuck-all to help.”

You inhale sharply, taken aback at the hostility in his voice. Suggest calling it for the night, say neither of you will be productive if you keep going like this, and neither of you bother to apologize.

So much of your relationship with Seungcheol was marred by clichés.

The two of you passing notes back and forth during class. You in the bleachers of all his games, screaming along to the team chants, waving a sign around with his name on it. Not realizing you had a crush on him at all until he liked someone else and it made your stomach hurt. Childhood friends turned lovers.

Another cliché: that it’s starting to feel like that all over again.

Seungcheol sits across from you in the library, econ textbook cracked in half in front of him as he pays no attention. Keeps grabbing his phone each time it vibrates across the table. Can’t fight the smile that forces its way onto his face when he reads whatever’s there.

Stupid, you think—both to do this and to think it’d play out any other way. Seungcheol left years ago. Probably lived ten lifetimes while he was away while you were here in this exact spot doing this exact thing. Barely lived half a life, just stuck your nose in textbooks and forced your way through.

“Cheol,” you say, trying to drag his attention back to the study guide. No use. He’s typing away, presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek as he responds. “Seungcheol,” you try again.

Also fruitless.

You have no claim here, you remind yourself—not to his time, not to him. He’s only here because someone else mandated it. You’re only here because someone else mandated it, but it stings all the same. Another reminder of what used to be, of what ended regardless of what you wanted. Another reminder that the role you used to play in his life is not the role you play now. That the space you used to take up created a vacancy, and eventually it was going to be filled.

And if this was anyone other than Seungcheol, if you were more emotionally evolved when it came to him, it wouldn’t gnaw at you as much. All of this would roll off your shoulders.

But it isn’t, and you’re not.

“If you’re not going to listen, then—”

“I am listening,” he interjects, but he’s not looking at you. Not looking at his textbook or his study guide. Keeps laughing and smiling at his phone, and it’s sick how bothered you are by it. That it feels like your stomach’s been turned inside-out with jealousy; with annoyance, because you don’t want to be here anyway, don’t want to do this anymore, and you’re wasting your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

Perhaps he never did.

“What are we discussing, then?”

Still not looking up: “Consumer theory.”

You laugh—more a huff of air than anything, grin sardonically out of one corner of your mouth. Seungcheol sees none of it. “Wrong,” you answer, already expecting the way he shrugs it off. “I’m gonna skip ahead a few chapters, though. Consider it a freebie for your business class.”

It must be your tone that finally grabs his attention. Cutting, precise, purposeful. Seungcheol lowers his phone, quirks an eyebrow, wonders where this is going to go. It’s clear he’s pissed you off, that you’re itching for a fight. It’s clear the years of silence are finally coming to a head.

“Let’s talk about ROI. You know what that is?” You barely give him a second. “Return on investment. A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or compare the efficiency of several investments. So, let’s say I make one-hundred-thousand won on a ten-thousand won investment: my ROI is 90%. Are you following?”

He nods.

“Great, now let’s try something a bit more hypothetical.” You suck in a breath. “Let’s say I invest years of my adolescence into someone. A friend at first and then something more. Let’s say I played cheerleader, supported every hope and dream he had—went to every game, cheered him on, helped him practice his English. Held his hand and talked him down when the pressure felt overwhelming, when the only thing that felt inevitable was failure. Now, let’s say all I got in return was a stuttered, awkward apology as he dumped me and walked out the door. Let’s say that guy showed up again after years of silence just to once again waste my fucking time.”

The thing about pain is it’s not linear. What hurt five, ten years ago might not hurt today, but it might tomorrow; what hurt yesterday may never hurt again. The thing about pain is it lets you stick your head in the sand until it can’t anymore, and that’s where you are now: that window of time between Seungcheol walking out the door on the assumption you’d never see him again before he bulldozed his way back into your life has been slammed closed, locked up tight.

So you don’t even notice you’re crying until the room goes deathly silent and you can hear the drip drip drip of tears on paper. Until you watch Seungcheol’s hands flex and unflex in mid-air, stuck in that liminal space, wanting to reach out but knowing he has no right to. Until your chest aches so bad you’re sure you’re either about to break into stardust or cease to exist.

Until you say, “What, Choi Seungcheol, would you say my fucking return on investment was?” and he has nothing to say at all.

Kaori invites you to a party.

Just something small to celebrate the end of midterms and a classmate’s birthday. Nothing out of control or raucous, not even the kind of thing that’d earn a second glance from campus security. I won’t even make fun of you if you leave before eleven, is how she sold it to you, in addition to a small amount of begging and bargaining and a powerful set of puppy-dog eyes.

After everything the two of you have been through, you find it hard to say no.

So here you are, nearly eleven o’clock on a Friday, a cup of cheap beer in hand. A friend of a friend of a friend is wailing into a karaoke machine and although your ears are bleeding, it does feel nice for that to be your greatest worry. You aren’t thinking about your classes or how you’ve been prioritizing everyone else’s academic success. You aren’t thinking about whatever’s going on between Kaori and Ken. You aren’t thinking about Seungcheol.

At least you aren’t, until he walks through the door.

You’re going to continue not thinking about him at all—not about the fact he’s alone or how good he looks in a simple black T-shirt that’s a little taut in the shoulders. You’re not going to think about the way the air shifts, like the universe knows he’s important and is willing to accommodate. You’re not going to think about how Kaori catches your eye across the room, recognizes him from all her internet searches, and the way she mouths oh my god he’s so beefy at you.

You’re not going to think about how guilty you feel that she doesn’t know, because if you do you’re certain it’ll take over.

You watch Seungcheol work the room; watch as he floats between conversations, as strangers fall over themselves at the sight of him. How eager everyone is to give him something and how reluctant he is to take them. You watch as he winds up in the same circle as Kaori and how she must mention you, oh, your tutor is my roommate, because there’s a question in return before he turns and meets your gaze.

You wonder why the distance between you feels more insurmountable now than ever before.

Seungcheol finds you in your office.

It’s not a Tuesday or a Thursday, far later than four to six in the evening, but he doesn’t even bother knocking before he’s barreling in, stifling your space with his bad energy.

You haven’t seen him in nearly two weeks. Not since the party, if that even counts. Hasn’t bothered to reply to any of your texts or emails, and that was just fine by you, if that’s how he wanted to act, but it isn’t until he’s brooding on the other side of your desk that you realize you’re still aggrieved, too. Feels a little too familiar, him leaving you behind and in the dark.

So you don’t mean to—typically have much more professionalism than this—but when he tosses a stapled stack of papers with a barely-passing grade on your desk and says, “This is your fault,” the words come automatically and without forethought.

“Fuck off, Seungcheol.” It’s not your words that take him by surprise; more so the roll of your eyes, the accompanying huff. The impression that all of this is beneath you and nothing more than a mere annoyance. That however affected you were two weeks ago is not how affected you are anymore. “That’s what happens when you blow off your tutoring for two weeks because you’re a coward.”

He laughs, incredulous; unable to help the sound the tumbles out of his mouth. “I’m a—I’m a coward?”

“Yes,” you reply, tone giving away nothing. All he sees is feigned nonchalance despite the hurricane you feel brewing beneath the surface. “This,” you continue, pinching the corner of the paper between your fingertips and disposing of it in the trashcan beneath your desk, “is all on you, but do please let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to blame me for. I’m all ears.”

You don’t miss it: the way Seungcheol’s eyes grow wide at your ‘I’m all.’ The way he thinks you’re going to punctuate that sentence with yours, and it nearly has bile rising in your throat. Makes you want to scream, rip at your hair. If the last few months have taught you anything, it’s that you are still hopelessly in love with the man across from you—the man that continues to leave before he’s left, always at your expense.

So, yeah—Seungcheol is a coward, but only when it comes to you.

But he doesn’t look much like one now, gripping so hard at the edge of your desk that his knuckles have gone white, baseball cap pulled down low enough his eyes are barely visible. He’s always been overwhelming, always carried himself with an exaggerated arrogance even when it wasn’t warranted, always took everything so seriously, and maybe that’s why you’d thought he’d treat you the same way. Take you seriously. Wouldn’t just throw it all away on a maybe thing, and that’s why it's been years and you still aren’t over it.

Maybe Seungcheol is a coward, and maybe so are you.

Because not once since he’s been back have you been able to say what you mean. Can’t seem to tell him about the anger, the hurt, the heartbreak. Played it all off as petty nonchalance because you foolishly thought that would hurt him, that you’ve been reduced to simmering ash, no hope left for a fire.

“I could never blame you for a goddamn thing,” he says, voice so deep you could drown in it.

You so desperately want to know. You don’t want to know anything at all. You want Seungcheol to explain everything to you in detail and spoil the ending, but only if it’s guaranteed to be happy. Enduring another loss like the first time—you’re not sure you can take it. Not after you two have crossed paths like this, because you’ve never quite believed in fate but you think that has to mean something. That so much time and life had transpired and you two came back together.

Today, though, it doesn’t look like you’re going to get any answers.

Seungcheol straightens, looms at full height. Digs into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a thumb drive. Wordlessly, he hands it over, and then he’s gone just as abruptly as he’d arrived.

Again.

Kaori wants to spend the weekend moping, and you can’t come up with a good reason not to join her.

She doesn’t mention Ken once. Not when she’s sobbing over A Silent Voice and Toradora! after that. Not when she keeps glancing at her phone every couple minutes to see if she has any texts. Not when you—only halfway paying attention between grading and your own assignments—suggest ordering something for delivery, maybe that new burger place down the street you heard was good, and Kaori shuts it down so vehemently you can only assume it was Ken’s favorite place.

Kaori just cries over the man with the big dick she never expected to take so seriously, and not even your stonewalling makes her feel ashamed of it.

And there’s respectability in that kind of openness and vulnerability. At least whatever she’s feeling is honest; at least she can admit she’s sad. You think watching Kaori process her breakup might help you process yours too, years too late, so you suck in a breath and ask, “Can I tell you something or is now not a good time?”

Kaori looks over at you. Dabs a soggy tissue at her eyes. “Well, I guess it depends,” is her answer, and she doesn’t shy away from how waterlogged her voice sounds. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a Takasu and Kawashima shipper, maybe, but if it’s anything worse I’m not sure I could take it.”

“I—what? Who even are they?” She gives you a half-hearted thumbs up. You sigh in response, sink further into the couch. “It’s, uh.” Clear your throat. “Do you remember when we met sophomore year? At that party? And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything and you said, and I quote, why not, I have a sixth sense for this kind of thing and I know that guy will have a huge—”

She hides her face behind her hands. “Ew, god, yes I remember that. My dick whisperer era. How embarrassing.”

“Right. And I told you I wasn’t looking for anything because I’d just gotten out of something.”

“Not really by choice, if I remember correctly. I told you if it was quiet it should’ve been loud, and then you never talked about it again.”

You nod. “I—yeah, that sounds like something I would’ve said.” You suck in a deep breath. “Listen, this is probably gonna sound bad considering I did never talk about it again, but—”

“Hey,” Kaori says, nudging you with her foot. Meant to be comforting, somehow. “It’s okay. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, too… most of which I’m not sure you should, actually.”

A laugh forces its way out, gives you a nice reprieve from the anxiety of the conversation you’re about to have. The need to explain it all, the need for advice. Maybe it’s not her—or anyone else’s—business, but you think you’ve kept this to yourself long enough. You and Seungcheol loved each other, once, and it seems foolish that no one knows.

Maybe Kaori had been right. Maybe love should be shouted from the rooftops; exist out in the open. Maybe something hidden in the shadows can never thrive in the light, and you knew it back then, deep down, but now it seems so obvious.

You think back to a few days before the library. Think about how things didn’t feel good but they felt okay. Think about the frustrated crease between Seungcheol’s eyebrows as he stared down at his textbook and how all you’d wanted to do was smooth it. Think about how you’d rolled your lips and tried not to laugh; how you thought it’d take a miracle to help Seungcheol pass this class.

Think about: What is the difference between the short-run and the long-run from the perspective of production theory?

Think about the short-run of your and Seungcheol’s relationship—that you’d burned bright and fast, even though it’d felt like a million years. Hadn’t dared to consider the long-run because anything beyond that bubble felt impossible.

Think about: Which of the following is not a property of isoquants?

Think about the way Seungcheol’s eyes lit up when he knew the answer. That they’re always linear, he said, and you smiled at his enthusiasm, raised your hand to high-five him and dropped it when he hadn’t noticed.

You think about the explanation—isoquants can be linear when inputs are perfectly substitutable—and what those graphs look like. Downward sloping, left to right. Think about how the graphs change when the isoquants are perfect complements.

L-shaped. Less straight as the inputs become poorer substitutes.

You know what your and Seungcheol’s graph would’ve looked like back then.

So it’s easy, almost, to tell Kaori everything. You tell her about growing up in Daegu, about the smell of the azaleas at Biseulsan in the spring. You tell her about how your parents had befriended the neighbors, how they had a kid your age, that that kid was Seungcheol—yes, that Seungcheol.

She’s able to anticipate the rest from there, but you fill in the blanks of what she can’t: being sixteen and falling in love, holding hands, the clandestine notes. All those football matches and how your throat would be hoarse from cheering. How nauseous you’d felt applying to university in Seoul, how excited you were when Seungcheol said he was coming with you. That, after you arrived, it felt like you were living in fast-forward. Barely any time to breathe or adjust; no time to just be you and Seungcheol. You had to be a student, someone responsible; Seungcheol had to be a phenom.

“Could you feel it was going to happen?” Kaori asks, now sat ramrod straight, all her attention on you. “Like, did you know?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “Maybe I did? It’s hard to say now, all this time later. I know things definitely felt different, like life was pulling us in opposite directions.” You laugh, bitterness coloring the edges. “You couldn’t go two blocks without seeing him on some billboard, and I was just… normal, you know? I wasn’t some rising star athlete like he was, I just went to my classes. How was I supposed to compete with something like that?”

Your roommate hums, leans back into the pillows as she stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you were. Maybe that’s why Seungcheol was worried—maybe he felt like you were losing your own identity feeling like you had to keep up.”

You want to push back, argue that you weren’t, that you didn’t, but the truth is that it’s possible. That the shadows created by Seungcheol’s dreams were so massive you wouldn’t be surprised if they unintentionally swallowed you up. “It still wasn’t his choice to make,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.

And Kaori already knows all about your hurt, listened as you explained it all and laid everything bare. So when she says, “Sometimes that’s just how it goes, though, babe,” it doesn’t feel condescending. “We do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time. You can say now it wasn’t Seungcheol’s choice to make, because it’s been almost five years and you’ve made a life for yourself separate from him. But the—god, this is gonna sound so patronizing, I am so sorry—but you guys were so young. No one has it all figured out at that age.”

She snorts, runs a hand through her messy hair. “Shit, I’m nearly halfway to thirty and I still don’t know anything.” Adopts a frown. “What do you want now? Do you want closure? Want to try to fix things and become friends?”

“I don’t know,” you admit, biting at a hangnail. “He actually, um. The other day when he stopped by my office, he left me a USB drive? And before you ask, no I did not already look at it.”

“A USB drive? Who does this guy think he is, James Bond?” A pause. “Are you gonna look at it, though?”

You do.

Not until the silver, midnight light creeps in through your bedroom curtains and you’ve stared at the ceiling long enough; waited long enough for texts that never came, for divine intervention to, well, intervene. It never did—fair enough—so you decide to take fate by the reins. Grab your laptop, instant headache from the screen, stick the drive into the port.

It takes a second for it to load, but when it does: dozens of videos, organized by date. Vlogs, by the look of them—some from before your breakup but the majority of them from after.

You’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this.

You click on the first one: a month and a half before both of you moved to Seoul. A fresh-faced Seungcheol appears on your screen, cheeks still round with adolescence. He’s in his room back in Daegu, can’t get the camera angle right. Nostalgia hits you like a ton of bricks as it pans to the side, to the wall behind his bed, and you see all his old posters. Mostly football players you couldn’t name, some girl group he used to love, a few movies. Just below them are some of the notes you’d written him in school, and they’re all you can focus on as he talks about how excited he is for the move.

The next: a few weeks after you’d started classes. By then, Seungcheol was well into the swing of things with Seoul FC. Already a big fish in a small pond, tryout offers from European teams starting to roll in. You can hear yourself in the background stressing over your first exam, wishing a generational curse upon your calculus professor. In the video, Seungcheol laughs, whispers like he’s telling the camera a secret as he talks about how nervous he is for his future. I don’t know why, he says, but it just feels like everything is about to change.

There’s a long pause between that one and the next. You understand why when you look at the date: three months after your breakup. Your hands hover uselessly above your keyboard. Whatever answers you’ve been looking for the last few years are probably in this video, but you can’t bring yourself to open it. Not right away, at least.

You click on a different one at random. Seungcheol’s somewhere in Europe, judging from the language on the signs behind him. Snow falls quietly—whenever he filmed this, it must’ve been early. No one else is around, and he cracks a joke that it’s a good thing, people would probably think he was crazy if they saw him. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going but he narrates the entire walk: points out a cafe he’s grown to love. The way to get to his practice stadium from where he’s standing. Pauses near a restaurant and laughs ruefully, shakes his head, says, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but one of my teammates set me up on a blind date here and I got stood up. You’d probably think that was funny.

(You do. It also makes your chest ache.)

One from two years ago: Seungcheol in a hotel room, clearly nervous. He raises his hand to wave at the camera and you can see the corners of his nails bitten raw. Dark circles beneath his eyes; cheekbones more pronounced than you’ve ever seen them. On the screen, Seungcheol sighs, rakes a hand through freshly-bleached hair. Sucks in a deep breath as he says, I’m so nervous. I’m so—so fucking nervous and I don’t. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I want to call you because you always knew what to say but that’s so fucking selfish. God, we haven’t spoken in years, and it’s my—that’s my fault, I know, so I brought this all on myself. I just want to hear your voice.

Another from a week after that: the color’s returned to his face, and he’s recording from what looks like a penthouse apartment. Sleek, modern; a small white dog napping on the bed beside him. He smiles, looks like he got his teeth fixed, looks like he’s no longer carrying around the weight of the world. Talks endlessly and excitedly about some tournament. Talks so fast you can barely keep up. Talks around words tinged with languages you don’t understand.

Seungcheol wins a championship. Records a drunk vlog from the same night, hair soaked through with god-knows-what—water, champagne, you don’t know. But he looks radiant. Looks like the culmination of two decades of dreaming. He looks happy, free, at peace. He looks like the reason he let you go, why he had to go away.

You scroll to the bottom of the files. Pause at the last video, dated seven months before the term started.

“Hi,” he says, and you can immediately tell everything is all wrong. Seungcheol’s in the dark, face only visible enough to see the tears tracking on his cheeks. “This is going to be the last one of these I make. I don’t know if you, uh—I’m sure you aren’t paying attention to me—my career—anymore, but. I, um. I got hurt. Ruptured my ACL. They’re not sure I’ll…” A sob escapes him. Has you wanting to climb through the screen to hold him, thumb away his tears, tell him everything is going to be okay. “They don’t know if I’ll ever play again.”

Seungcheol no longer looks happy, free, at peace. “Maybe you’ll be happy to hear that,” he continues. “Maybe it’ll help you to know I threw away our relationship for nothing.”

Cut to black.

The sudden silence is deafening. Has you desperately clicking back to the video you’d skipped, the one from just after your breakup. Seungcheol looks the same in that one, too, like the life has been drained out of him.

I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I’ll ever show these to you now, since I…

I’m sure I owe you an explanation. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, I just—things have been so hard, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I feel like my life went from zero to a hundred before I could even blink and now I’m scrambling. I didn’t think it was fair to—to drag you through that. Me being away, moving to an entirely different continent. I have faith we could do it, I just. I don’t know, baby, I don’t…

You deserve to have your own life. Be your own person. I’m so scared that the world will never see you for who you are—so beautiful and intelligent and kind. You don’t deserve to be reduced to my partner. And if you ever see this, I know you’re gonna roll your eyes. Probably call me a mean name because I took the choice away from you, because you think I’m trying to be selfless and heroic, and you’d be right. It’s not fair, and I wish I could tell you I’m sorry.

I wish I could just… pluck out my brain and give it to you, because even if it killed me to do it, at least it makes sense to me. And I don’t—I don’t want you to think I’m not hurting. I’ve been sick to my stomach since I left. I know I’m making a mistake, I know I am, I just—how do I do what I think is right in the long-run when it’s not what I want right now, or ever?

I don’t want to get over you. I don’t want you to get over me, and that’s how you know I’m not acting selflessly, because you should. I want you to always be happy, I just… wish it was with me.

So, I’m going to keep making these. I’m going to take you along for the ride, wherever it takes us, because you should be here but I can only hope you can one day understand why you’re not. I’m so—I’m so sorry, I don’t…

I’m sorry.

I love you.

You fall asleep and dream that you were the one meant to meet him at that restaurant.

The first thing you do is make a call to your mother.

“Could you send another container of yakgwa?”

On the other end of the line, your mother tuts, motherly intuition audibly kicking into overdrive. Is probably wearing that all-knowing, sly grin she always does when you try to be coy and evasive. “What happened to the last container I sent?”

“Ah, you know Kaori loves those. They barely lasted an hour after I told her what was in there.”

She hums an acknowledgement. Sounds like she takes a sip of tea. “I remember someone else being quite fond of those cookies, too.”

“Well, they are the most popular cookies in the country, so.”

After haranguing you into admitting they’re for Seungcheol and not your roommate, your mother promises to send them quickly. A few days at most, which buys you enough time to figure out how you’re going to approach the man in question.

The vlogs have turned your entire world upside-down. Answered questions you hadn’t even known you had. Took all that anger and resentment you’d been holding onto and set it free, and now you’re just left with… a void. Want to mend things, and it makes you wonder if such a thing is even possible, if it’s too late, but you don’t let those thoughts get very far.

Instead, you let them spur you into action. Have you sitting in front of your laptop at your desk, office hours long since over, silence creeping in the more the department empties. The thrum of the airconditioning and the tick-tick-tick of the clock are all the only company you have.

You worry if it’ll show on camera, how out of sorts you feel: sweating from the nerves, dabbing at your hairline; cheeks warm to the touch. But you suck in a breath anyway, steel yourself. Look at your webcam and the daunting red circle…

And start recording.

He hadn’t gotten it at first. Not really.

There’d been a container of yakgwa outside his door with his USB drive taped to the top of it. No note—not that he needed one to know who it was from, but he wasn’t sure what it was. A goodbye? A please fuck off forever and never contact me again?

He’d just taken them inside. Ate too many of the cookies while feeling sorry for himself. Maybe had a glass or two of wine to compound the issue, and never, ever considered contacting you. Didn’t think he could bear it if you never wanted to see him again, but he just…

Well, he was drunk and alone and he missed you, and he’d rewatched all those videos he recorded a million times before when he was like this, so what was a million and one?

It’d been the same as every time before: he smiled at the happy parts, cried at all his old wounds. Wanted to reach through the screen and strangle his past self for including that part about the blind date, because he never wanted to date anyone who wasn’t you, why would he say that, felt mortified at the thought of you watching that—

And then there it was.

All the way at the bottom. A new video. One that hadn’t been recorded by him—

Hi, Cheol, you say, and that’s all it takes to reduce him to a sobbing, yearning mess. I’m not sure what to say here. I don’t really record much—sometimes for lectures when the professors are too busy, but never anything personal like this, but I watched every single one you made for me and I thought I should return the favor.

I wanted to tell you everything I’ve been up to since you left, but it hasn’t been much. I got my degree. Tutored a lot in undergrad—the same thing I’m tutoring you in now, actually. I was good at it and it felt good to have something that was mine, you know? I almost moved for grad school. Thought for a while I was going to wind up in New York, but then my parents divorced and it felt like too much, too scary, so I stayed. Kaori also stayed, so we got an apartment together. It’s not much, definitely not as nice as your place, but it’s good enough.

I don’t think I ever told you, but she was seeing a guy for a bit and he was… obsessed with you, to say the least. Thought you were the coolest person in the world. They aren’t seeing each other anymore. Ended pretty badly, but—speaking of which, maybe steer clear of Student Services for a while, too.

Sometimes it felt like failure that I wound up staying here. That I had scholarships from all these far-away, prestigious places and didn’t take advantage of them. That I gave into my fear. And now… I don’t know. Maybe there’s a reason I stayed behind. Maybe there’s a reason you ended up back here, too.

Whatever happens—I don’t want you to think I still blame you. Kaori says we do the best we can with what we’ve got at the time, and I understand now that’s what you did. Even though it hurt me, you were trying to protect me. I get it now. And I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to go to all these places you didn’t know. To have to deal with your injury, the loss of a dream.

You said in one of your videos that you just want me to be happy, and that’s all I want for you, too, whatever that looks like.

Here’s my address if you ever want to come by to talk.

I love you, too.

—and then he’d been up and out the door, feeling stone cold sober, running to the front of his building to wait for his ride.

Felt like the drive took hours. Must’ve hit every red light between his apartment and yours. Took the steps two at a time just to get to your door faster.

There’s a man already standing outside your door when he gets there. One that looks shocked to see him, stars in his eyes, and when Seungcheol says, “Oh, you must be Kaori’s ex,” he looks more like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. Embarrassed in front of his idol.

He knocks on your door and gets no response. Knocks again, harder this time, and he has to try really hard to stifle his laughter when your voice yells from the inside, “Fuck off, Kenji, I already told you she’s not here!”

“It’s me,” Seungcheol yells back.

There’s quiet again. Just enough time for it to feel like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest and follow Kaori’s ex down the hall.

Then you’re yanking the door open—slowly, so slowly, like you’re scared it’s not actually him. Your eyes are brimming with tears when they meet his own, and he doesn’t let himself think, just goes on instinct, when he grabs for you, hands on your cheeks, and presses his lips to yours.

Somehow you taste the same.

Somehow you taste like redemption.

You taste like home.

Seungcheol kisses you until the tears slow. Kisses you until the universe realigns, until he could map your mouth in the dark. Kisses you until all you’re all he knows again.

When he pulls away, you’re gripping at his sweatshirt, don’t want to let him go. He presses his forehead to yours, offers up a million more apologies, starts talking nonsense. Says he’s going to drop microeconomics, what the hell does he know, he barely has a passing grade anyway, what does it matter, he’s such an idiot—

And then you say, “You came back,” and nothing else matters.

“I always will.”

(Later on, as you’re trying to steady your breathing, slick with sweat, your thigh thrown over Seungcheol’s hip as he stares down at you, dopey smile on his face, you say, “Choi Seungcheol, don’t you dare drop that class. I have worked my ass off to get you to barely-passing.”)

if you’ve made it this far thank you so much for reading! i am still very new at writing for seventeen, so i hope this was acceptable. i'm now going to throw myself into the warped tour vernon fic and will hopefully not go another 7+ months without posting anything. 😭

i would love to hear your thoughts! <3

#seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #seungcheol angst #seungcheol au #scoups angst #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #jewel writes

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charliemwrites · 2 months

Text

Part 5 of Mister(s) Steal Your Girl

Long awaited, but no Johnny smut just yet. Soon, I promise. (And Kyle will be back. It's been so long since he's gotten to smooch our dear reader.)

Also! A little reminder than you can check the queue to see what I plan to post for next. I try to update it often as the worms wiggle. Next I plan to do the final chapter of Greater Bad. (Unless I get my not-so-secret, no-longer-a-surprise oneshot out first)

Lastly! Please note that I wrote the "posts" from his perspective. So inconsistencies with the actual story and any grammar/spelling errors were purposeful or for "authenticity".

Content: Brandon.

r/CakeEater _OnBrand_ I asked my fiancé for an open relationship before marriage. It worked. A while ago I posted on r/adultery about the affairs (yes, multiple) I was having behind my then-gf’s back. We’d already been dating for ~4 years and I was seeing one of my coworkers (my “work wife”) regularly and one of her coworkers on and off. People on my other post were critical and called me all sorts of things like selfish and pig. I know it’s not traditional, but I genuinely don’t think I could ever be satisfied by one woman. My work wife (Rachel) and fiance’s coworker (Lucy) provide things my fiancé just can’t but I still love my fiancé. She’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. When I posted on r/adultery I was trying to figure out how to propose without her finding out. I knew she’d expect me to help with stuff and possibly want to look at my phone more often. It would have been harder to sneak off to meet up with Lucy or Rachel with wedding planning and I was sick of being stressed she would find out. Some nicer people on the post suggested I ask for an open relationship. I took their advice and sat her down to sell the idea. It’s a good thing I’m so good at sales (top 3% in my company for 5 years in a row) because she agreed. Yes, actually agreed. At first she got kind of pale and her eyes got really big and blank. I thought for sure she was about to start crying and run off. Maybe even kick me out. She doesn’t really get angry but she gets upset and it freaks me out. After I explained everything about how good it would be for us though, she agreed. This is my official unlimited hallpass. I’ve been seeing Rachel on weekends and Lucy once or twice during the week for drinks. Tonight I’m going to sign up for every dating site I can. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge. If anyone has other suggestions, I’ll check those out too. Fiance has been kind of off but I think it’s just an adjustment period. Sometimes I can tell she’s been crying but she hasn’t come to me about it so she’s probably just being emotional about all the changes. At least she’s got our house to focus on while she gets used to things. I feel a little bad about running out every night but she’s just so mopey and sad all the time and it’s not enjoyable to be around. I know she probably feels like I’m abandoning her a little but once she starts getting back to normal I’ll spend time with her again. You really can have your cake (all the cakes heh) and eat them too. Edit: no, I never told her that I already had Lucy and Rachel and I’m not going to. What good would it do? She’s already agreed to an open relationship and telling her that I didn’t have permission first would just hurt her for no reason.

Kyle’s been gone for two (long, lonely) weeks when he finally gets a chance to call. So far, he’s only been able to send scattered texts at odd hours. Always something sweet – telling you he’s alright, or that he’s thinking of you. Sometimes you even catch him for a brief exchange before he apologizes and “goes dark” again.

Not that you begrudge it. This is part and parcel of dating him and you knew that going in. You’re not complaining when he’s putting his life on the line so that the public can live in blissful peace.

That doesn’t stop you from missing him though. His hugs, his smile. Getting his voice - even roughened by distance - is a nice compromise though.

“How have you been holding up, chickadee?” he asks after the initial reassurance that he’s whole and hale.

“Easier this time!” you answer proudly. “I know what to expect with you gone and Johnny’s good company.”

“Yeah?” he asks, sounding pleased.

You can just imagine him now, leaning his hip against the nearest surface, arms crossed over his broad chest. He tends to duck his head when he smiles, and you unintentionally grin to yourself, thinking of him hiding into his phone. God, you miss him.

“Mhmm! We found a board game bar that you’re going to love. Oh, and we’re going to the Hay Festival this weekend.”

He hums. “I’m sorry I can’t be there to take you, luv, but I knew Johnny would be good to you.”

More than good to you, really. There’s not been a day he doesn’t call to check up on you - if he doesn’t see you in person, that is. Dinner, movies, coffee. He’s somehow both a gentleman and an incorrigible flirt, but only with you. He’s nothing more than polite to anyone else, keeping his focus on you and whatever the two of you are doing.

You don’t know what to do with the undivided attention. If you didn’t know better…

“You two are getting close,” Kyle observes.

“I think so,” you admit, then hesitate. “Is… that okay?”

“‘Course, luv. I’m glad.”

You blink. “You are?”

“He’s my best mate and you’re my best girl.”

An odd pang of anxiety pierces your chest. Johnny calls you that too. His “best girl.” You love hearing it - but maybe you shouldn’t?

“It… doesn’t bother you? That we’re spending so much time together.”

He snorts softly, but it’s not derisive. It’s a noise he makes whenever he thinks you’re being silly, but his voice comes out soft and warm. Not an ounce of condescension.

“No, baby, I’m not fussed. You spend your time with whoever you want, however you want. Yeah?”

Your chest floods with warmth. “Okay.”

“There’s a love. I’ve got a brief, so I have to go. I’ll call soon as I can.”

“Be safe, Ky.”

“Do my best. Give Soap a smooch for us, aye?”

You blink as he hangs up. That’s a new one.

You ponder over it while packing on Thursday night. Was it just a joke? A tease at the little crush you’ve developed for Johnny?

Because it is a crush, you know it is. It’s impossible not to be attracted to him. Not with that smile, that laugh, the goofy humor and sweet mannerisms. He still sends you flowers every few weeks - just as the previous ones are about to die. It’s so thoughtful; you’ve started feeling a bit warm every time you look at them.

But you feel greedy, being even remotely interested in anyone else. You have Kyle and Brandon (even if you two are going through a… patch) and that should be enough for you. Shouldn’t it? You’ve never been with more than one person at a time before; it took you weeks to shake the compulsory guilt when you first met Kyle. It feels almost unforgivably audacious to want Johnny too, especially since he’s Kyle’s best mate.

Still… Kyle’s not a jealous or passive-aggressive guy. You’ve been with him long enough now that you know he’d just tell you outright if he was unhappy about something. And he’s been with you long enough that he can surely tell you’re more than a bit fond of Johnny.

Maybe that’s why he made the joke about “smooching” him.

Regardless, you want to talk to him about it. Things always make sense when you think out loud to him. His levelheaded and practical approach to difficult topics always straightens your panic spirals out into neat lines.

Plus, it’s not as comforting to hold your own hand. (God, when is he getting back?)

“Where are you going?”

You blink up at Brandon, folded pajamas in hand.

“The Hay Festival,” you answer.

Speaking of - you slip past him into the bathroom. He doesn’t follow, rooted to the spot spinning his phone around in his hands.

“Alone?”

You snort. “Of course not, I’m going with a friend.”

The allergy pills are at the bottom of the medicine basket beneath the sink. You really need to organize it the next time Johnny’s too busy to hang out. There’s no way you need three bottles of paracetamol.

“I need that suitcase.”

You toss the bottle in and pivot for the dresser. “What for?”

He shifts, eyes sliding away. “An… overnight.”

Ah. That’s what he’s calling it now?

You snatch a few (too many) pairs of underwear from the dresser.

“Just bring them here,” you say over your shoulder.

There’s a long, tense beat of silence but you’re too busy rummaging for socks to break it first. Will it be too warm for thigh-highs? Eh, you’ll go with the sheer ones; the little lace roses match one of your dresses anyway.

“Bring who here?” Brandon asks slowly.

When you turn, he looks paler than usual. You shrug, trying to project casual comfort.

This is a totally normal and reasonable conversation to have. Just a couple in an open relationship, discussing a stranger coming to the house for a shag. Nothing to make a fuss over.

“Whoever you need the suitcase for? I know you’ve had people over before anyway, and I’ll be gone all weekend.”

He stutters, color returning to his face in bright pink blooms. “Why do you think I’ve had people over before?”

You arch an eyebrow. “I do the laundry, remember? And there was lipstick on one of the wine glasses.”

That had sent you into a tizzy at the time, disgusted that some stranger was in your bed, with your fiancé. You washed the sheets twice on the hottest setting and tossed in a bit of bleach for good measure. Hadn’t been able to look at him the whole week - not that he was there much to not look at.

Now, though, you seem to have adjusted to the idea, even if you’re still not thrilled. Brandon can have his… whoever over, and you’ll goof around with Johnny in Wales.

“Just toss the bedding in the wash afterwards,” you add.

“I thought you do the laundry,” he sniffs.

“I’m not traveling all day just to do chores when I get home,” you answer. He does a double take like you’ve started speaking a new language. “You’ll be here all weekend, I’m sure you’ll have time.”

He opens his mouth, and you can tell already that he’s about to argue - though you don’t really know what about. It’s not like he can’t do laundry or dishes, after all. He lived alone before you moved in together.

Thankfully, his phone distracts him before he can form the words. He spins away to tap at the screen and shuffles out of the room, shoulders till tense. You go back to packing and teasing Johnny about the amount of hair gel he’ll bring.

Friday afternoon can’t come fast enough. Even though you’ve taken a half day from work, the few hours seem to drag. You’re practically daydreaming about the food and drinks, music and activities. There’s a baker’s dozen art stalls you want to check out as well, and a gift to pick out for Kyle…

“Hope yer thinkin’ o’ me when ye make tha’ face.”

Your head snaps around so fast, you nearly give yourself whiplash. Johnny grins down at you in all his casually handsome glory – ripped jeans, green tee, and brown boots. Angels are singing somewhere, you think. Or maybe that’s just your nosy coworkers ogling from their own cubicles.

The reality of him sinks in a moment later and you leap up from your cushy chair – and right into his arms. He’s like a furnace compared to the cool, conditioned air of your office, a welcome source of warmth for your chilly fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you giggle. “Who let a rowdy guy like you in?”

He smells like bergamot and pine. It takes active thought to resist pressing your face into the crook of his neck. It looks cozy there.

As always, he squeezes you a bit tighter just before letting go.

“Hey now, Marcy’s a discerning lady. She knows a fine gentleman when she sees one.”

You snort, belied by the smile curling your lips. “She may need new glass then.”

“Och, don’t go talkin’ poor about my second-best gal now.”

“Is it that easy to get in your good graces?” you scoff, glancing at the time on your computer. It’s later than you expected; no wonder he came up to retrieve you. You spent so long daydreaming that you’ve lost track of time.

“Aw don’ be green, dove, you’re still my number one. Send ye flowers ‘n all.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, and now I’m wondering just how special that is.”

He stands close, proclaiming his case for how obviously special you are while you shut everything down for the weekend. You’re only half listening to the bit, admittedly. Mostly just basking in your excitement for the mini road trip and the weekend to come. You have no doubt that it’s going to be fun, even if it would be better with Kyle along too.

“Where are you headed off to?” Lucy asks.

“Hay Festival,” you answer shortly.

You’ve never been a big fan of Lucy, but lately she’s been insufferable. Talking over you during meetings, leaving you out of emails, throwing away papers at the printer. (Okay, you haven’t seen her do that last one, but you know.) Worst of all, she can help but make backhanded comments about every flower delivery.

“You’re not taking Brandon?” she simpers. “Something wrong?”

“He’s hanging out with a friend this weekend too,” you correct, “and he doesn’t like hay.”

“Shame that,” Johnny adds, sounding like it’s not a shame at all.

You haven’t told him much about Brandon – but you’re sure that Kyle has. From the face Johnny makes the rare times your fiancé comes up in conversation, he doesn’t think much of Brandon.

“Have fun you two!” your manager, Selene, calls.

You wave and shoot Lucy one last, unimpressed glance before stepping onto the elevator with Johnny.

r/CakeEater _OnBrand_ My fiancé is going on a weekend getaway with another man. I’ve posted in r/adultery and r/cakeeater before. I’m not looking for judgement or insults here. I really just want advice.

A little context: my fiancé and I are in an open relationship and it’s been like this for a few months now. I originally asked her to ope the relationship and for a while she was weird about it but lately she’s been getting sbetter. I thought she was finally getting used to me going out with other women and things were getting back to normal.

A few weeks ago, I noticed she was on her phone more. Like, all the time. Even at dinner when she used to be really picky about phones at the table. One day I came home from work and she was talking on the phone to someone. Giggling and laughing. When I turned the corner she was kind of blushing too. It kind of bothered me but I figured she was talking to a friend and just hot from cooking or something.

Lucy texted me pissed off one day, asking why I was sending my fiancé flowers but not her. I told her I hadn’t sent any flowers. I think they’re way too expensive for how long they realistically last and that they take up a lot of unnecessary space. But I thought it was weird that someone was sending my fiancé flowers and got kind of uncomfortable. That’s a pretty romantic gesture and her family isn’t the type to randomly send flowers either.

I tried taking her out on a date but she was all mopey again and turned her phone to ‘do not disturb’ so I wouldn’t even see if she was texting someone. We don’t have much to talk about now. I love her but she’s not a good storyteller or into very interesting things. All her ‘funny stories’ are just mundane things that happen during the day. We’ve run out of interesting topics about because we’ve been together so long. (That’s why I like having more than one partner.)

Yesterday she randomly started packing for a trip. I don’t even think she was planning to tell me until I asked her. She was packing a bunch of cute clothes too. Like dresses and tights and things like that. Stuff she only used to wear on our dates. I asked who she was going with and she just said ‘a friend’ which is weird because she would usually say the name of someone even if I don’t remember who they are.

Well today Lucy sent me a picture of my fiancé leaving her job with some guy. I couldn’t see his face because he was turned away, but I could see the side of my fiancé’s face and she was smiling at him. I got this awful sinking feeling in my chest like it was hard to breathe. It took me a few minutes to process that she’s going away for a weekend with a complete stranger.

Doesn’t she know how dangerous that is? Where did she even meet this guy? They’ll be gone all weekend so are they sharing a room? A bed? I nearly threw up thinking all these things as I called her.

I asked her to cancel her plans and come home. She seemed confused and reminded me that her plans were with someone else and it would be rude to ditch last minute. I told her I wanted to spend the weekend with her and that I’d been missing her. She seemed surprised and said that she’d see me on Sunday night, but she was looking forward to the festival with her ‘friend’ and wanted to go. As a last ditch effort I asked if her friend was more important than me, nearly begging at that point. She must have heard the desperation in my voice, but she just told me that she was already on the road and it was too late.

My fiancé doesn’t like lying but it’s hard to believe this guy was just a friend. Even if she sees him as a friend I know how men think and I doubt he sees her the same way.

She said some other weird stuff before she left about having someone over while she was gone. I don’t get it. How could she just casually invite someone else into our house like that? Has she had other people over? Is she dating now?

I’m not sure what to do. I don’t like that she put this trip over me. Should I talk to her about how bad this makes me feel? Should I call again and tell her to come home more forcefully? Am I blowing all of this out of proportion?

Edit: she doesn’t know that I’ve been seeing Lucy. I haven’t told my fiancé about any of the women I’ve been seeing. (mostly just Lucy and Rachel. I’ve done a lot of texting through apps and gone on a bunch of first place, but most women don’t put out right away and I usually can’t be bothered to get to know them better). Even then, I wouldn’t tell her about lucy. They don’t get along and never have. It would cause a lot of unnecessary drama.

First | Previous | TBC... Masterlist

#cod #my writing #fanfiction #reader fic #misters steal your girl #kyle gaz x reader #john soap mactavish #healthy polyamory #brandon the crash dummy

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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 10 months

Note

can you do a Tom Blyth x reader fic wherein they're doing a wired autocomplete interview?

Answering the Web’s Most Searched Questions || Tom Blyth x Actress!Reader

A/n: this was so much fun to make! I apologies for this taking a bit to make hahahaha. Keep the Tom Blyth x reader requests coming 🙏

Warnings: nothing but reader n tom being such a wholesome couple

Wc:

Divider by @pommecita

“Hi I’m Tom Blyth!” You smile at the camera. “And I’m Y/n Y/l/n” Tom waves to the camera as you both hold in your laughter but fail miserably. “And this is the wired autocomplete interview,” Tom clicks his tongue pointing to the camera.

“Who should go first?” You look to Tom as you see a glint of mischief in his eyes, “let’s paper scissor rock it?” He asks as you turn your body slightly to him. The next sped up montage was of the two of you playing paper scissors rock and not surprise that you won earning a groan from Tom as you are passed your board.

“Okay first one, who is y/n y/l/n……. dating?” You read it as you and Tom chuckle. “Who are you dating, Y/n?” Tom jokes as he looks at you quizzically. “It’s actually a secret,” You shrug, “Do I know this person?” Tom continues, “Yes actually, you are very familiar with this person,”

“Hmm, interesting,” Your boyfriend pretended to think about it as you wink to the camera, discreetly pointing to Tom beside you. “Moving on, Does Y/n Y/l/n have…… a pet?” “Yes I do actually, his name is tchai and he’s a spoodle. I bring him to set all the time and he just comes along and chills with us.” You say as an instagram post of yours pops up on the screen.

y/n_y/l/n

Liked by tomblyth, hunterschaffer, rachelzegler, and 3,837,202 others

My boys 💗

tagged: @tomblyth

“Next one, can y/n y/l/n….. sing and act?” You laugh at this one as Tom does the same, leaning his head against yours. “Unfortunately I cannot sing and act. That’s not me in the tbosas film, that’s actually my stunt double that looks identical to me and it’s actually Tom that sings all of the songs” You give a thumbs up as Tom and the crew start laughing.

“Does y/n y/l/n have any tattoos? Yes! I actually have a matching tattoo with my boyfriend, it’s on my pinky and it’s half of a heart and he has the other half.” You put your hand up and point to it as Tom quickly puts his beside your pinky, his other half connecting with yours.

“Oh my god, Tom has the exact same one. What a coincidence!” You giggle, “Such a coincidence right?” He shakes his head. “What does….. y/n y/l/n look like? Well if you guys didn’t know, I look like this” You point to yourself as Tom places his palm under your chin with a grin.

“What was y/n y/l/n’s…… first acting role? My first acting role was in Billy the Kid that came out in 2022 and Tom here is actually plays the main character Billy.” You nudge his arm as he gives a thumbs up, “And I play Dulcinea which is Billy’s lover at one point.“ You answer before you start to peel off the last one.

“Does y/n y/l/n have… a child?!” Your jaw drops open as Tom laughs out loud. “Do I have a child? No! I’m still very young but I do plan on having children in the future. I do have a younger sister who is 4 so I think people mistake her for my daughter,” You let out a chuckle.

“Grace does very much look like you I do have to say,” Tom points out as you nod in agreement. “Yeah I have to agree with that aswell, probably why people think she is my daughter. Especially when Tom and I are taking care of her for a day, people always say what a lovely family we look,” You giggle.

“Finally my turn,” Tom says in excitement as he’s handed his board. “First one, How….. tall is Tom Blyth? That’s actually a good question uh-“ “For reference, I’m 5’3,” You say as Tom stands up pulling you with him. “There’s quite a height difference,” You laugh as you look up at him.

“I think I’d say around 6ft? Yeah, I’m pretty sure because Hunter is 5’10 and I’m abit taller than her. So yeah, 6ft.” “Next one, What is Tom Blyth’s…. Hidden talent?” Your eyes lock with Tom’s, “It’s not a hidden talent, but I am quite a good whistler.” “Yes! Tom is so good at it,” You nudge him, “Don’t make me do it,” He smiles, biting his lip as you give him a look.

“Do it!” “Okay, fine,” Tom then does the hunger games whistle, three fingers in the air as you watch in amazement. “I was really nervous then,” He chuckles as you laugh to yourself, agreeing.

“Does Tom Blyth…. Have a girlfriend? He says slyly as you look at the camera, “No. I do not have a girlfriend,” Hearing his words, you look at him and find him nodding his head as he says it which makes you smile at his silliness. “What a shame,” You pat his shoulder jokingly as he shakes his head, laughing.

“Lucky last, Is Tom Bltyh… a father? seriously, what is up with these questions?” He says in slight disbelief. “Are you?” You tease him, “Like Y/n, I get mistaken as her little sister’s father but no. I have no children,” “Your children would be so good looking,” You point out before you could really process it in your head.

Tom looks at you in surprise but laughs, “You think?” He maintains eye contact with you as you nod, almost in a trance as you stare into his piercing blue eyes that you could stare in all day. “Hmm, that’s good to know you think that, babe” His pet name for you slips out as your eyes slightly widen.

Tom quickly changes the topic when he realises. “Well that’s it from us today,” He says in a happy tone, “Thank you for watching this video!” “bye!” You both say in sync as you both throw the boards at the camera before it cuts off.

#tom blyth #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you

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prezaki · 1 year

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One core trait of Phoenix Wright as a character that I rarely see discussed is how utterly evasive he is about his private affairs. It sticks out the most in AA4 when we see Phoenix from the outside, but "Phoenix won't tell anyone anything important unless he absolutely has to (and even then, he probably won't)" is by no means a new development for him.

From AA1 onwards, we see Phoenix dodge people's questions about his personal life time and time again. In part, this is by narrative necessity - Phoenix knows more than the player is meant to know in order to achieve the optimal tension curve. But AA takes his narrative shortcut and turns it into a real character beat.

Phoenix Wright is the most cagey fucker on the planet.

At the end of 1-1 Mia asks him how he came to befriend Larry and Phoenix dodges the question with a vague promise to tell her later - this also means that in all of his time working with Mia, he's never actually disclosed his full motivation for becoming a lawyer to her.

In 1-2, Maya asks him how he knows Edgeworth and he dodges, because of course he does. The same song and dance repeats at the end of 1-3. And despite Maya's repeated prodding by 1-4, Phoenix still has not told her a thing about his past. That's from October until December that Maya is left going ??? and her questions go nowhere.

Then, between AA1 and AA2, Edgeworth is presumed dead by suicide. Does Phoenix tell Maya about this? Absolutely not. He does not tell her in letters nor is he clear about it when they see each other again in person, months later.

What Maya gets once it's inevitable to talk is a vague 'he's gone' and no elaboration other than the request to not speak about him again.

This is Phoenix's default coping mechanism.

In AA3, there are numerous instances where he mentions forgetting Dahlia, not speaking her name again, etc. Edgeworth is 100% getting the 'person who hurt me too deeply to think about' treatment here.

But to not even tell Maya a vague overview on the matter, when Maya knew him too? Rough. And it just keeps going.

It's six months between telling Maya that Edgeworth is 'gone' in 2-2 and her finding out that 'gone' seemingly means' dead' in 2-3.

Maya complains about it, too. This isn't a matter of 'she never asked again', it's a matter of 'Phoenix is dodging all questions'. Gumshoe has to intervene in order for Maya to finally find out.

And finally in 3-5, does he tell anybody why he's going to Hazakura temple and why he seems interested in Iris? Absolutely not!

At this point we get Edgeworth openly acknowledging that Phoenix keeps his emotional cards extremely closely to the chest. When he states that he wants confirmation on whether or not he has met Iris before, this exchange happens:

Even as Edgeworth directly calls him out on being evasive and never actually speaking to people, all Phoenix can do is acknowledge that this is how he is by apologizing - but he won't change his ways.

AA4 Phoenix is really just a natural evolution of Trilogy Phoenix - Trilogy Phoenix is already evasive, already hates telling people about his struggles or accepting help... It's really no wonder that he'd isolate himself instead of reaching out once he gets disbarred.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #ace attorney meta #is this a tag??? idk i am trying my best here

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lqvesoph · 6 months

Text

She’s WHOSE daughter?? || LN4

lando norris x webber!reader

summary: After finding out who your father is, Lando needs some time for himself to think about everything. Oscar is more than willing to help make things right between you.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5

masterlist | taglist

Part 4

dad: What’s going on with you and Lando?

You: What do you mean?

dad: Your Instagram

dad: And I saw you in the paddock together

dad: That hug looked a little too intimate for friends

You swallowed hard before turning your phone off, chosing to ignore the messages and focus on Lando who just walked back into the garage, the debrief was done.

"We gotta talk", he stated, pushing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

You nodded, wanting to follow him back up to his driver’s room when suddenly an all too familiar voice called your name.

"Y/n, don’t you think you should introduce us?", your father asked, sitting at one of the tables with Oscar’s parents. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at your father’s teasing. Lando and him knew each other, obviously they’ve seen each other quite a few times in the paddock, especially because he was Oscar’s manager.

"Y/n, sweetheart, how are you doing?", Oscar’s mum asked with a genuine smile, making a small smile appear on your face as well as you replied.

"I’m good, thank you."

Lando eyed you from the side as you stepped closer to your father.

"Dad, Lando. Lando, my dad", you dryly spoke. Lando’s eyes went from you to your dad, giving him a small smile and a nod before looking back at you. "If you excuse us but we have to go", you said, waving at Oscar’s parents and turning your back to the table.

You waited on the couch while Lando closed the door to his driver room.

"Why didn’t you tell me?", he immediately questioned, leaning against the locked door. "I never tell people about my father because it happened too often that they weren’t there for me but for him", you started, fiddling with your hands.

"Not me and I thought you would have figured that. I knew your father, I’ve met him a few times", Lando argued. "What was I supposed to say, Lando?", you raised your voice a little. "We met in Bahrain but didn’t have much contact after that until this week, I couldn’t just go like 'Oh and by the way Mark Webber is my dad'!"

"You could’ve told me", he muttered quietly. "You could’ve told me in Bahrain when I asked about how you know Daniel or at the beach when I asked about your dad’s work."

"It just never felt right", you tried to defend yourself. "Bahrain was just too early and at the beach I sort of panicked, I don’t know", you muttered, realizing you really didn’t know why you haven’t told him until now.

"I need some time", Lando said after a few moments. You nodded and watched as he unlocked the door, leaving the room and probably the track for the day.

*~**~*

"So, what made Lando storm out of here like that?", your dad asked when you gathered yourself and finally made your way downstairs.

"I don’t wanna walk about it", you grumbled, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Just then Oscar walked down the stairs, his eyes widened when he spotted you. "Princess, I’m sorry! I really am!", he immediately said, walking closer to you.

"I didn’t know that he didn’t know but I should have known and I’m sorry", your best friend apologized and wrapped you in a hug. "Don’t be, Oscar. It’s my fault anyway. I should’ve told him. I don’t know why I didn’t", you muttered, your voice sounding muffled from being pressed into Oscar’s shoulder.

"Still. I feel bad", he huffed, pulling back from the hug to look at you. "Where is he?"

You shrugged and looked away from Oscar. "I don’t know, probably went back to the hotel", you replied. "Mark how long do you plan on staying because I could take Y/n back to her hotel", he then turned to your father.

"Oh, I was actually just waiting for her", your dad replied, standing up from the table. "You ready?"

You nodded and turned around to Oscar’s parents, saying goodbye and telling them to meet again tomorrow at the race.

Oscar gave you another tight hug before waving at your dad and letting the two of you go.

"You ready to go as well?", Lily asked, grabbing his hand. Oscar nodded. "Yeah but I need to make a quick stop somewhere before we go home."

*~**~*

Just thirty minutes later, Oscar knocked on the door of one of Hilton’s hotel rooms.

"What on earth are you doing here? I thought you sleep at home", Lando muttered when he opened the door and saw his teammate standing there.

"Let me in?", Oscar just asked, lifting one eyebrow. Lando nodded silently and took a step to the side to let Oscar enter the room.

"She’s really sorry", he spoke as soon as the door had closed. Lando shut his eyes and crossed his arms. "Please, Oscar-"

"She knows she screwed up and said herself she doesn’t actually know or have reasons why she didn’t tell you", Oscar ignored his teammates protest. "She’s never been good with trusting people, so many having screwed her over just to get a chance to meet her dad-" "But I know her dad-" "And that left scars", Oscar continued. "She went into panic mode when you asked about her dad. She never likes being associated with him. She loves him to death but hates it when someone brings him up when talking about her achievements, or in general, when talking about her. She doesn’t just want to be Mark Webber’s daughter but her own person and she really really likes you!"

Lando stayed silent for a moment.

"Talk to her, please?", Oscar then quietly asked, searching for anything in Lando’s eyes that would give him some sort of confirmation.

The British driver blinked a few times, uncrossed his arms and took a deep sigh. "I will, tomorrow", he muttered, bringing a smile to Oscar’s face.

taglist

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@champagneproblems17 @meko-mt @scopeiguess @bwormie @d3kstar @c-losur3 @lupitakapro @endlesssummer10 @sheslikeacurse @im-a-ghost666 @m0cha-bunny @claudiajacobs @noncannonships @light-23 @impossibleapricotlampbat @somewherewedontknow @asfaraslifegets @spookystitchery @brune77e @alilstressyandlotdepressy @berrnuu @leclercdream @urfavsgf @neodeliightt @eiffel-hood @tbsloneely @maplesyrupsainz @amalies-stuff @bicchaan @planet-faerie @landorris @soleilgrec @nikfigueiredo @basicchelsea @sarahkaliii @charlesgirl16 @phantomxoxo @lilipiggytails @honethatty12 @bingussthirdtoe @chasing-liberosis @jerricrojane @everbizzare @wherethefuckisthething @sltwins @nixisracing @a-beaverhausen @annie115

#lando norris #mclaren #f1 #landoscar #dando #landan #daniel ricciardo #oscar piastri #mark webber #ln4 #quadrant #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #lando norris one shot #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader

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okaylikeschaewon · 3 months

Text

Exchange Part 4: Deal

~5k words, smut, male reader, barely proofread so be nice

It was only a month later before your modest life had turned incredibly lavish. Jisoo not only succeeded in landing you a fantastic promotion, but she also went above and beyond to make sure you got compensated more than you could have ever imagined - frankly more than you probably deserved, but who were you to complain?

What used to be your humble flat had been replaced by what was essentially an estate in an affluent South Korean neighborhood. People could work their entire lives and never be able to afford this, but for the most part, one evening was the reason you were here. Normally, living in a house this size would be rather lonely - fortunately for you there was company.

“You see Jennie’s latest CK ads?” The small girl asked casually as she scrolled through her phone, a cup of coffee in her other hand.

“Hard not to,” you replied. “They’re plastered all over my feed.”

“Girl would rather try convincing people to buy panties over being an idol at this point,” she sighed.

“Clearly it’s not working on you,” you commented as your eyes explored Lisa’s bare legs.

“Do you want me to put on some of Jennie’s panties?” Lisa smirked, putting down her coffee and uncrossing her legs. “I thought you preferred this,” she added as she spread her legs and started rubbing between her legs, using her fingers to cover herself up.

“I do, that’s why you’re still forbidden to wear pants when you’re in my house.”

“Is that right?” Lisa chuckled, crossing her legs again. “Since when is my body your property?”

“It goes both ways,” you replied, cocking an eyebrow in her direction. “Remember last weekend?”

“That’s different!” she whined, crossing her arms after tossing her phone onto the table. “I told you not to cum in her.”

“Baby it was one time, you-”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Lisa growled. “We had a deal that night.”

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sarcastically before getting down on your knees in front of Lisa’s crossed legs. “Baby,” you teased, gently spreading her legs again.

“Shut up,” Lisa rolled her eyes, failing to hide her smile as she stood up from the chair and hopped onto the table. “Just hurry up, this coffee sucks.”

“Hey, I like this coffee…” you mumbled as you stood up from your knees and lowered your pants, tossing your shirt to the side.

“I’m just kidding,” Lisa chuckled. “It’s actually pretty good. I just want something else right now.”

“You’re always in the mood for that something else.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Does it look like I’m complaining?”

“Just hurry up and fuck me baby boy,” she groaned, losing any semblance of subtly, putting her heels up on the table.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” you grunted as you pressed your tip against her pussy.

She was already somewhat wet - the girl always had sex on her mind. You lathered up her slick onto your shift, working quickly because you knew Lisa could get impatient. At times she enjoyed a bit of teasing, but you knew when she wanted to get on with it - this morning was one of those times.

Lisa’s pussy never failed to impress you with how tight it was. Even after weeks of fucking her little pussy, weeks of sex being a nearly daily activity for the two of you, it still surprised you each and every time your cock entered her body.

“Oh fuck yes, it’s been too long,” Lisa moaned softly, tilting her head back as your cock slid slowly into her tight pussy.

“It’s been less than half a day,” you moaned back, wrapping your arms around her lower back for leverage as you pushed all the way into her slowly.

“Too long,” she groaned, bringing one hand between her legs and rubbing her clit.

Even though you were worried that you would start to grow tired of Lisa's body, those fears never came to fruition. It turned out that depriving an idol of any sexual outlet for an extended period of time led to a great deal of stress, and Lisa was taking full advantage of you to make up for lost time. Even if she was just using you, it didn't particularly matter to you because the arrangement worked out well regardless.

Luckily for you, that made the sex amazing. Even now, with Lisa leaning back on the table, with your hips pushing into her pussy, she managed to move her body back and forth alongside you. Laziness was not in her vocabulary - no matter what position she was in she was able to make it that much better for you through sheer physical talent. It motivated you, drove you to new levels. It made you want to fuck her harder every single time your cock blessed her soft body.

“Harder baby,” Lisa groaned softly, closing her eyes, hands gripping the edge of the table to support her shaking body. “Fuck me harder.”

Satisfying the tight Thai girl was your favorite activity. Her pleasure became your only goal. Your motivation. Your balls slapped against her skin each time your cock dove into her pussy. The combination of her dripping pussy and the beads of sweat forming on her skin was a recipe for the most mind-boggling elation.

Her pussy eventually began to gush all over your cock, adding more of her natural lubricant which somehow barely made it easier to fuck her. She was tight. Each thrust took effort - true conviction. The wet slapping of skin on skin fueled your urges, kept you going, pushed you deeper than you thought possible, aided by her drenched body.

A singular word escaped her lips, a whisper that could be heard across the room and in every room, as her body fell backwards onto the table.

“Fuck.”

The readjustment of her position gave you the tiniest pause which you used to regain some semblance of control over your own orgasm. You took both of her ankles in your palms and lifted her legs up, resting them on your shoulders, before leaning forward slightly. With her legs to the roof, body bent almost in half, you resumed your work.

This new angle was perfect - evident by Lisa’s sudden onset of squeals. The barrage of shrieks attacked your ears as your cock rubbed against her most sensitive spot. You had learned what worked best on Lisa thanks to the excessive amount of experience the two of you had together, and this was exactly what she needed right now.

“I’m…”

“Me too,” you grunted in response before leaning forward, bending her body entirely in half, her thighs pressing against her abs. You leaned forward a bit more until your lips found her mouth.

As your tongue entered her mouth, you immediately realized your mistake; Her body had become too much for you. The sensation of her tight pussy had already pushed you dangerously close, but Lisa’s kiss launched you right over the edge with no chance for you to hold back. The last thing you could consciously do was latch onto Lisa’s body, allowing her vibrations to be felt directly on your skin.

The satisfaction of your cock filling Lisa’s pussy numbed your mind, your cum gushing deep inside her body. It was becoming difficult to continue, yet your hips kept thrusting on autopilot. Each spurt of cum was proceeded with another thrust. It almost felt embarrassing finishing this abruptly - but then you felt her.

Lisa’s pussy began squeezing your shaft. Perfectly timed, you thought to yourself as your hips tried their hardest to desperately continue pumping her tight pussy. It was, however, futile. Physically you had nothing left, and all you could do was lay there as Lisa’s pussy convulsed. It was like all your energy flew into Lisa’s body through your cum, now it was time to just enjoy Lisa’s body while having no control over your own.

Thankfully, based on the breaths she let into your mouth, she was in her own little world now. She rode it out for what felt like minutes, maybe even hours, probably not, pressing each individual nerve in your cock over and over with her tight warmth. When you eventually felt her body finally start to relax, finally start to calm down, you very carefully and slowly withdrew your cock, her pussy squeezing your exit, fighting to keep your softening shaft inside her.

Both of you desperately tried to catch your breath, gasping as if you ran marathons, still holding onto each other, your cum slowly leaking out of her. It took a moment, time you used to gently press your mouth against her warm skin.

“Can you… come with me… to the… office…?” Lisa panted, her chest heaving up and down on the table.

“Sure,” you answered between the kisses you were planting over Lisa’s neck, taking the second your lips left her neck to speak. “You’ve. Been. Excessively. Horny.”

“It’s…” Lisa sighed before mustering up the strength to pull herself up and sit straight. “It’s for Jisoo, she needs to tell you something.”

“Huh? Why didn’t she send me a message directly?” you asked while backing up slightly so that Lisa could hop off the table.

“Because it was my suggestion,” Lisa answered while taking a seat and pulling you closer to her.

“Suggestion for what?”

Lisa ignored the question as she became occupied with using your cock to probe the inside of her mouth.

“Lisa, what suggestion?” you repeated, flinching as your extremely sensitive tip hit the inside of her cheek.

“Can a girl suck some cock in peace?” she whined, brows furrowed in frustration as she glared up at you.

All you could do was chuckle at the absurdity.

“Thank you,” Lisa added cheerily before putting her lips against your shaft, licking up whatever combination of fluids had accumulated.

Her lust for your cock was probably one of her most endearing qualities. She could never have enough, once a day wasn’t even enough. Rarely did you sleep without Lisa at least giving you a blowjob, it was like she needed your cum to survive. You couldn’t help but feel your insides warm up at the sight of her cute little tongue poking away at your tip.

“Mwah!” she exaggerated a final kiss on your cock before smiling brightly up at you, finally content. “Now, what were you asking me?”

“The suggestion?”

“Oh, here let me show you,” she replied before opening her mouth wide and leaning over to throat your cock again.

“Lisa, seriously,” you stopped her with your hands.

“You’re no fun,” she pouted, crossing her arms. “Fine, she’ll tell you herself.”

“When do you have to get to the office?”

“Whenever I want, it’s not like we make music anymore.”

“Alright,” you sighed. “Since you already got me hard again…”

She laughed loudly before grabbing your cock in one hand and moving her lips forward.

“Now who’s excessively horny?” Lisa chuckled before slipping your cock down her neck in a single movement.

—

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Loving the suit.”

“Rosie, it’s great to see you again,” you smiled as you entered the room. You gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before looking around. “Did Lisa send me to the wrong room? Where’s Jisoo?”

“Oh she’ll be right back,” Rosé replied. “I think she’s changing her dress.”

“Speaking of dresses, you look absolutely stunning right now,” you admired her long, strapless, black dress which showcased her frame beautifully with plenty of skin showing around her chest and hips as the fabric made an “x” across her torso.

“I decided I’d show myself off tonight, hopefully inspire some of the useless men to stop being so useless.”

“What’s happening tonight, why are you all getting so dressed up anyway?” you asked as you took her hand and made her twirl for you.

“Says the guy literally wearing a three piece,” Rosé shook her head playfully. “Did Lisa not tell you?”

“Nope, in her defense her mouth was pretty preoccupied this morning,” you replied. “All she said was to get dressed up.”

“Cheeky bastard,” Rosé laughed. “We’re going to another party tonight, to celebrate Jisoo’s news.”

“Oh right, I forgot they moved it to Friday,” you said, remembering the invite you received earlier this week. After getting your promotion, you were invited to the weekly party with full VIP access, but you haven’t attended one ever since that night you met Lisa. According to the girls, they generally weren’t worth it most of the time, not unless there was a special occasion.

Before the conversation could continue, the door swung open and Jisoo barged in. She had her head tilted while adjusting her earring, completely flustered but also unrealistically beautiful in her black and red dress.

“One simple request is all-” Jisoo began ranting before stopping in her tracks at the sight of you. She immediately forgot about whatever she was upset about and ran up to you, jumping into your arms. “Thank you for coming!”

“It’s my pleasure,” you said as her perfume hit your nose. She smelled even better than she looked right now, and you refused to let go of her as the flowery scent engulfed your senses.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it,” Rosé giggled before leaving the room, finally bringing you back to your senses and ending the embrace.

“I heard you had some news to share,” you said softly while holding Jisoo’s arms.

“The songs are done,” she beamed up at you, that contagious smile making your heart flutter.

“Songs? As in multiple? Already?”

“Two,” she announced happily.

“Jisoo, that's amazing!” you pulled her into another hug and started patting her back. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I still owe credit to you,” she giggled.

“Absolutely not,” you pulled apart and took hold of her hands. “This was all you.”

“Either way, you helped inspire the title track’s name,” she smiled warmly, giving your hands a little squeeze.

“How so?”

“You’ll find out when they come out,” she replied before leaning closer to you.

It was instinctual, for the first time since that party, your body met with Jisoo’s. Your lips pressed effortlessly against each other’s, the beautiful aroma she wore blessing your senses once more. It felt so right kissing Jisoo, an oddly unexplainable passion between your bond.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whispered right in front of her face as your lips parted.

She answered by leaning forward again, kissing you softly, her hand wrapping around the back of your shoulders, forcing your own hands to naturally grab her waist. The two of you kept the kiss going, even as you pushed back, now making her lean slightly backwards, keeping her body up with your hands.

The beautiful moment was shattered as the two of you jolted away from each other at the sound of a loud crash in the room. You both turned towards the noise to see Rosé awkwardly standing in front of a tipped chair.

“Oops,” she giggled, holding up her purse. “My bad, forgot my bag.”

Jisoo chuckled before letting go of your shoulders and walking over to the dresser in the corner of the room.

“Thanks again for coming, I’ll see you later tonight?” Jisoo asked, turning her head just slightly enough for you to see her side profile.

“Absolutely.”

—

“No random whores.”

“I would never.”

“If I find a single one putting her hands on you-”

“Sweetie, you’re the only whore I want,” you whispered mockingly, giving Lisa a small poke in the ribs.

“Not funny.”

��I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it,” you teased, leaning into her until she was on her back.

“Call me that again and you won’t be touching any girls tonight,” Lisa glared at you, trying to stop herself from laughing as your fingers attacked her sides.

“Don’t worry, if she won’t let you have fun, you can always spend time with me,” Jennie interjected from across the limo.

“Is that so?” you chuckled, sitting back up and turning to look at Jennie. “You make it sound like you’re the one doing me the favor, as if it’s not the other way around?”

“Please, I’ll have a line of men waiting for me the second I enter this stupid event,” Jennie scoffed, crossing her arms. “I don’t need you.”

“Sure, but we both know you’re going to be complaining about each and every one of them.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You will,” Rosé chimed in from her seat next to Jennie. “We’ve all heard it before, and then you’re probably going to be begging for him to put it in your ass again.”

“What are you-” Jennie’s face turned bright red.

“You wouldn’t stop talking about that night for days after the last party we went to,” Rosé continued nonchalantly, taking a sip of champagne. “Oh Lisa when are you bringing him around again… Lisa is he coming tonight… Lisa-”

“Shut up,” Jennie cut her off, trying to hide her embarrassment desperately, but even in the dimly lit limo it was clear as day. “You complain about them just as much as I do.”

“Begging, you say?” your lips curled up at the sides, trying to stifle your laughs. “I like the sound of that.”

“I was not begging.”

“She was,” Rosé and Lisa both said in unison.

“That’s adorable,” you teased, holding your hand against your chest. “I’m touched.”

“Not begging.”

“So you’re saying you don’t want me to spend time with you tonight?”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Jennie quickly replied, perhaps a bit too quickly, the blush on her cheeks burning redder.

“What are you saying exactly?” you smirked at her.

“I…” she froze, too embarrassed to finish her sentence.

“I wanna hear this begging, maybe then you’ll get what you want,” you laughed, enjoying every second of Jennie’s embarrassment. “Maybe.”

Jennie’s shoulders slumped forward as she left out a hefty sigh before mustering up some strength and sitting up straight.

“Oh my God, pick literally anyone else, why do you have to take my entertainment,” Lisa laughed, sitting back up and leaning her head on your shoulder.

“Is that what I am, your entertainment?” you responded while reaching your arm around her body, moving her face from your shoulder to your chest.

“Yes, exactly,” she replied immediately before turning back to Jennie. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“Go on,” Jennie leaned back against her seat, just as curious as you were about what Lisa had in mind.

“He can have my blessing to do whatever he wants with you tonight,” Lisa continued. “If you let him finish on your face before we enter tonight.”

Rosé nearly threw her flute in an attempt to prevent a spill as she burst out laughing, quickly covering her mouth.

“Lisa! There are always cameras waiting outside, I can’t do that,” Jennie protested.

“Then keep your head down,” Lisa giggled, rubbing her hand on your crotch. “As long as there’s a fresh load plastered all over your face, I’m happy.”

“It’s not like it’ll be the only load on your face tonight,” Rosé snickered, finally composing herself enough to speak up. “Lisa, I think it’s a great idea.”

“Thanks Rosie,” Lisa smiled. “So, what do you say?”

“I am not leaving this limo with cum on my face.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to find your own entertainment tonight,” Lisa taunted, rubbing her hand on your crotch. “This one’s all mine.”

“Oh come on, it’s like a two second walk to the door and we all try to hide our faces anyway,” Rosé attempted to convince her. “No one’s even going to see anything.”

“It just feels so wrong,” Jennie sighed, looking directly at you. “You’re fine with this? Knowing if people see me leave this limo with my face plastered and only one man gets out with me…”

Without even responding, you turned to Lisa and gave her a kiss.

“That answers that,” Rosé giggled.

“Lisa are you fucking serious, this is what you want?”

“I don’t remember stuttering,” Lisa replied casually. “Come on, we’re not even that far, the clock is ticking.”

“Unbelievable,” Jennie muttered as she got off her seat and onto her knees in front of you. She reached forward for your buckle when your hands instinctively grabbed her. “How can you possibly be shy, you have literally fucked each of us,” Jennie laughed.

“Multiple times,” Rosé chimed in, leaning back, all excited for the upcoming show.

“I’m not shy, I just-”

“Look at me,” Lisa whispered, each syllable dripping with sensualism, as she gently used her hand to turn your face towards her. “Keep your eyes on mine the whole time,” she commanded, eye contact locked on you. With one hand she motioned for Jennie to get started. “Don’t look at her even a single time.”

As Jennie started to undo your pants and pull them down to your knees, you followed Lisa's instructions and kept your eyes locked on hers. You didn't even look when you felt fingers clutch your shaft or when Jennie's tongue made contact with your cock a second later.

Her eyes remained fixed on you. That expression, so dispassionate, gave you the impression that she was in charge - not the girl sucking your cock. You met her gaze with a direct stare. Only when you weren't actively pushing your cock into her could you see the sweet, loving, and caring side of Lisa. The side of Lisa you could see behind her warm eyes.

It seemed as though you raised your hands to her face in silence. The infrequent slurps from Jennie's mouth were less noticeable than Lisa's lips, which were what truly captured your attention. Those velvety lips that begged for more. She leaned forward into you as you leaned forward - something Lisa never instructed you to do, something she didn’t need to tell you.

When your lips met, your eyes instinctively closed. Lisa didn't object; she kissed you back with the same fervor. Your whole body started to heat up, whether it was the kiss, the girl on her knees between your legs, or perhaps the alcohol was catching up to you. In reality, you knew Lisa’s passion was the cause.

Jennie’s slurps were becoming overwhelmingly loud. Your cock was completely covered in her saliva as she used her mouth to play with your tip while her hand stroked you as fast as she could. She knew you were getting close, she could feel it, and she was right.

There was no way your cock would hold on much longer, especially not while Lisa’s tongue invaded your mouth. For the second time today, kissing Lisa was going to launch you right over the edge, shattering any hopes of extending the current situation. You waved your arm in Jenne’s direction, barely making contact with her head.

She understood the cue and took her mouth off your tip, keeping pace with her hand as she tilted her face towards the roof of the limo. She held herself perfectly steady in your peripheral vision, struggling to keep a solid grip on your cock thanks to all the spit she had left on it.

Lisa could also feel your climax coming as she let go of you and went back to staring directly into your eyes. Her hand reached down, joining Jennie’s hand, and started to fondle your balls.

That was it, that did it for you.

Even without seeing it, you knew that first gush of cum made a line all the way across Jennie’s face. The shocked squeal she let out also confirmed it. Your cock started pulsing, unloading the warm cum presumably all over Jennie’s face. You kept pumping away, while staring Lisa in the eyes, her deadly gaze had softened considerably and she was even smiling warmly now. As the final dribbles of cum spilled out of your cock, you felt Jennie’s hand leave your shaft.

“Go ahead and look at your masterpiece,” Lisa whispered, her hand still fondling your balls.

In front of you, with her eyes still closed, was Jennie with her face shining. There were linear streaks of white all over her face, with a considerable amount getting into her hair. You didn’t realize just how big of a load you blew onto her face it was until now.

“Wow,” you muttered softly, earning a laugh from Rosé who you just now noticed was using a tissue to wipe her arm. “Did I?”

“Yes you did,” Rosé snapped immediately before laughing again.

“Don’t wipe any of it off,” Lisa instructed Jennie before bending over your lap and going for any of the white mess that didn’t make it onto Jennie’s face.

“I fucking hate you,” Jennie whined, looking at herself on her phone. “You got so much into my hair.”

“S-Sorry,” you gasped, Lisa’s tongue offering no reprieve as it attacked your sensitive tip.

“He’s not sorry at all,” Rosé added between laughs. “Look at him, he’s ready to give you round two.”

“My fault,” Lisa smirked as she sat back up, holding your once-again erect cock in her hand. “We’ll have to deal with this later, we’re here.”

“That was humiliating,” Jennie whined, touching up her makeup after tossing away the tissues she used to wipe her face clean. “I think one of them saw.”

“It wasn’t even that bad,” Rosé giggled, handing Jennie a brush for her hair. “And there’s no way anyone saw, I’ve never seen you run that fast in my life.”

“Are you kidding? Did you hear the shit they were saying,” Jennie grumbled. “It’s fine when I’m inside, but who knows who those people out there are, they don’t get to see me like that.”

“They weren’t saying anything, calm down.”

“I’m sorry babe,” Lisa purred as she gently stroked your cock. “I know what can make you feel better though.”

“I’m not even in the mood anymore,” Jennie scoffed, putting the brush down.

“Jennie? Are you actually upset?” Lisa asked, pausing her handjob, suddenly full of concern.

“She’s just being dramatic,” Rosé chuckled before grabbing Jennie’s hand. “Come on, let’s go get you some alcohol,” she added as she pulled Jennie out of the room. She paused at the door to look back at you and Lisa with a wink.

“She’s fine,” you tried to reassure Lisa as she looked at you.

“You’re probably right,” she sighed. “But you should not be able to speak right now,” she added before replacing her graceful strokes with aggressive pumps. “Come on baby, cum for me.”

The next couple of minutes were a blur. You remembered her hand, you remembered her kissing your neck, but nothing else was in your head right until you felt warmth shooting out of your cock.

“Lisa,” you huffed, turning to the girl as she wiped her hand clean. “You sure you’re okay with me fooling around with her tonight?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” she cocked an eyebrow at you.

“Just making sure, I’ve never done anything without your permission before.”

“Right… and you have my permission tonight,” Lisa replied slowly, smiling in a confused manner at you. “I know it’s a bit unorthodox, but really I wouldn’t put you in this situation if I wasn’t okay with it.”

“Unorthodox…” you repeated slowly. “Sometimes I wonder how I lucked out so hard to have such a wild life,” you laughed, grabbing Lisa by her waist.

“It’s not that wild,” Lisa giggled as you pulled her close. “A bit of meaningless fucking never hurt anyone.”

“Speaking of meaningless fucking…”

“Not yet,” Lisa stopped you as you kissed her neck.

“Whoa, did baby girl just say no to sex? There’s really a first for everything.”

“I did not say no,” Lisa scoffed. “I just don’t want my makeup all messed up just yet,” she added coyly.

“Who said I have to mess up your makeup?”

“I did, because that’s exactly what you’re going to do later tonight when you fuck my throat.”

“You’re going to say that and then keep me waiting.”

“You just came twice in like fifteen minutes, a break wouldn’t hurt,” Lisa laughed as she wiped you clean with a tissue.

“As if that’s out of the norm,” you chuckled. “How about I eat you out.”

“That’s a nice offer, but we’ll do all that properly later tonight,” Lisa giggled before getting up and running to the door. “Go find where those two just went, or look for Jisoo, she’s probably bored out of her mind being here all alone for so long. I gotta meet up with a couple of my friends, they said they’d be here.”

“Wait, you want me… without you?”

“Why are you pretending like you forgot how to use your dick,” Lisa chuckled, wearing a confused expression again as she looked at you.

“Lisa…” you paused to stand up and walk over to her. “Ever since that night I met you, I’ve never touched any of them without you being there.”

She gave you a small bend of her head and the cutest eyes in the world.

“Baby,” she hesitated. “I’ve never thought about that, but you’re right.”

“Are you still fine with it?”

“Of course,” Lisa smiled warmly. “I guess you’re unofficially joining our agreement, nothing that happens at these parties can be held against you. Only my bandmates though, I meant what I said about no random whores.”

“I’m fine with that,” you leaned forward and kissed her cheek before grabbing a handful of her ass. “I’m going to be thinking of you the whole time though.”“Awhh baby, that sounds so wrong, but it’s strangely sweet,” Lisa giggled, wrapping her arms around your neck. “And all night I’m going to be thinking of how you’re going to fuck my throat later.”

---

A/N:

Honestly, ending this chapter way earlier than I had planned because I want to try staying near that 5k word mark, and there wouldn't be a better place to pause. I have the entire plan for the next chapter already good to go, just gotta finish writing it, all I'll say is next chapter will most likely be when some stupid romantic lovey-dovey bs happens, and obviously more smut.

Now the thing that everyone keeps asking me. "WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING, WHEN IS NEW CONTENT COMING, WHERE ARE YOU". I am still alive <3, I've been trying to update you guys when I can, I'm still just busy with life. I don't have much time to work on my writing nowadays, but let me try giving you an update. I know this chapter is going to feel kinda short, just bear with me! Hopefully the next chapter will come out with a shorter break!

Currently still working on like 5 different pieces. My next upload might just be the next chapter of this story. If not this story, my guess would be Karina (+Winter). Very unlikely the Twice story will get an update next, and somewhat unlikely the LSFM story will get an update next. It's possible, but those two stories get a bit more effort on my end in terms of long-term plot, so it'll depend on how much time and energy I have to write.

As always, feel free to give any feedback you feel like giving. I still value it, even though this hobby is taking a bit of a back seat for me. I am fairly certain the quality of writing is not as good, but it's okay, I know I'm busy and it's just a casual way for me to release some of my horniness into the world. I don't take this hobby too seriously!

#kpop smut #smut #fanfiction #kpop fanfic #male reader #blackpink smut

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ambrosiagoldfish · 5 months

Note

Adam x third spouse part 3 I’m begging pookie ❤️

like a time skip to when Charlie appeared and proposed the idea

Benifit of the doubt Pt.4

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Warnings: General Adam TW’s, a little bit sad for a moment but it’s ok. Gn! Reader! honestly that’s about it I think?? Wow this is the first time it’s been this short in this series.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Request Box: Open

Word Count: 4617~

A/n: So… it’s been almost 2 months… whoops. In all seriousness though I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve just not been in the mood to write and a lot of stuff has been happening (which is finally over) and I’m glad I could finally post this. I was also, if I’m honest, nervous to post this, cause I’m not sure if everyone’s ready for the direction of the story. But I have made it clear that I wanted to do a time skip to the show at somepoint and decided to do it now! If you enjoy this, please let me know cause I’m really nervous about (Not my words of affirmation love language coming out-) ALSO to the requester, I know you said part 3, but I used it for part 4. I got your request as I was making part 3 soooo my bad. Hope you don’t mind tho <3 this will be the last part before the angsty finale (and maybe an epilogue)

Reblogs are always appreciated!

Anyways this was NOT beta read unfortunately, I tried to get as many errors out during the writing process so hopefully it’s fine. Also, there’s probably some words I might have wanted to italicize or make bold that aren’t, but I’m too tired to care honestly.

Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn @ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che @edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee (if I forgot someone or you want to be added just tell me !!)

Days turned to weeks, to months, to years. Until eventually an eon had passed. An entirety filled to the brim with an indescribable happiness and love, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You loved Adam and Adam loved you.

To say it was all happiness would be a lie, there were some moments of sadness and pain, but all relationships were like that, even ones that lasted for eternity. You both always bounced back, apologize and moved on with a stronger bond than before. And you loved every second of it.

A lot has changed in these last few eons. Adam formed a band and is now the most popular guitarist in all of heaven. You both made new friends, some got into heaven while others were made there. Emily was one of these people to you, she looked up to you for being older than her. You’ve existed for almost all of human existence so, of course she’d look up to you.

Adam had also made new friends, his band members, some officials in heaven, but someone he’s grown close to recently was Lute. You're really happy about his friendship with Lute. She seems like a strong and loyal friend, someone that can keep him grounded while still encouraging him to be more himself. Overall, you really liked her.

How they became friends though is something… less tasteful for you. All the way back when Heaven and Hell had their first meeting on what to do with the surplus of sinners in hell causing an uprising. Neither side came to an agreement in the end, you do feel partially to blame for that, but you still stand by what you did.

You never returned to any of the follow up meetings

But Adam did, surprisingly to you. In the end, you were called to talk with Sera and Adam. You were told of the agreement between Heaven and Hell, about the yearly “cleanse” that Adam and his “Exorcists” would have to commit. At first you were shocked, sure, you didn’t have the best experience with sinners and especially with the rulers of hell, but was death really necessary? You didn’t know what to say, and Adam clearly saw this.

“Babe, you alright?” He puts his hand on your shoulder rubbing his thumb in circles. You place your hand on his.

“Yeah it’s just a lot to take in. Are we sure it has to be done… that way?”

Sera looked down in pain “they’re… uprising and are becoming to much of a threat to heaven.”

You sighed as Adam took you in his arms. Adam was fully aware that you don’t share the same sentiment towards sinners as he does. His hatred towards the unholy souls down in hell was brought about by events that you simply cannot understand. Which he is thankful for, he never would want you to experience what he did.

“If there isn’t anything else we can do then… I guess we have no choice. But I don’t want to… kill anyone, even if they are sinners.”

Adam holds you closer “You won’t have to,” you smile at him, the now familiar flickering of his LED mask meeting your gaze before softly frown “you ok?”

You nod, “yeah, just…I wish there was another way.”

That was it. Adam would take his exorcists down to hell to kill as many sinners as they could each year. Adam knew you didn’t want him to talk about it , he kept it as separate as he could from your life. You did have to attend meetings regarding it, as one of the very few people to know about it, that was your duty.

You were fine with having that part of the job. You weren't sure if you could kill someone, sinner or not. So, for the countless years to follow, you played your part with every new extermination, attending meetings to deal with the repercussions of each cleanse.

Adam would also have to attend the occasional meeting. Which is exactly what today was. Sera had called you both in to talk.

“Thank you both for coming. I have to inform you that you will be attending a meeting tomorrow.”

Adam groaned “What! Again? This is like the 4th fuckin’ one this week! Ugh fine! Where is it this time? halo city? Cherub towne” Adam’s voice mocked the locations you’ve both been sent to countless times with a high pitched voice. Even you have to admit that the meetings could drag a bit.

Sera's face turned into a slight grimace as she looks away from you both, she sighs and continues “The meeting will be in… hell.”

“What!” Both your voices raise in shock

“Sera, you know I don’t want to go down there again!”

“Why can’t you just send the other fucking dipshits who know about-“ Adam crossed his arms defiantly

“Stop,” Sera raises her hand toward you both “no one wants to go there, and I know you both especially don’t.” She pauses “But you both are the only available angels who know of the cleanse that aren't busy. Please… I understand your disdain but heaven’s business comes first.”

“Who are we even gonna be talking to -Wait a damn minute- Don’t fucking tell me we have to talk to him.”

“I'm sorry…” You all sat in silence for a moment before Sera begins to speak again, “But you both won’t have to worry about physically being there, we have prepared holograms for you, so neither of you would be in any danger.”

“I'll have an Angel escort you to the ‘meeting’ room tomorrow, please, get some rest. I’m sure you both have had a long day.”

With that, you and Adam went home, you were definitely not feeling well about the meeting, but the fact you wouldn’t actually be there calms your nerves a bit. You had to be a little honest with yourself, hell wasn’t really the issue for you, it was more so the people. Lucifer for one, that made you feel uneasy.

The next morning, you and Adam got ready, you had to motivate him a little. He was clearly not excited for this meeting like you. The entire way there he held you close, even though nothing could have hurt you it made him feel better knowing how close you were.

On the way there, you also got Adam some ribs, his favorite. You thought it would help his nerves a bit. Turns out, Lute was the one Sera assigned to escort you both there. That also made you both a little calmer knowing a mutual friend would be there.

The three of you waited in the ‘meeting’ room for a while, about an hour. At first you thought the meeting might had been canceled or moved and you just weren't told. But then, Lute walked up to you both.

“Sir! The Seraphim has told me to inform you that there’s been a change in plans!”

“What? The fucks that mean?” Adam said stuffing a rib into his LED mouth

“Lucifer won’t be attending the meeting, instead… his Daughter will be here in his stead.” Lute’s mask showed a continuous frown and stern expression as she spoke.

“Daughter?” Your voice shook a little. This was news to you, as long as you’ve existed you had never heard he had a daughter while in hell. You look over to Adam to see His LED eyes were wide in shock but his mask turned into a smile as he sighed.

“Phew boy, we sure dodged a big ass bullet, huh Sweetcheeks?” He laughed as his arm pulled you closer. The whole thing caused you to join in. Suddenly your nerves felt a lot better than before.

“When should she be arriving, Lute?”

“Within the hour.”

Adam scarfed down another plate of ribs as you all wait for the “princess of hell” to arrive. The entire time you just had to wonder what kind of person she’d be. The daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. The more you thought about it, the more bizarre it seemed.

But suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by the sliding doors opening to the meeting room and a girl steps in, asking if anyone is there.

“She can’t see us?”

“Yeah, Sera gave me a long ass lector on how this stuff works before we got here. Let’s see here…” Adam pushes a button causing a click to sound out as he says “Sup!”

The girl jumps back and falls to the floor, shocked by Adam’s sudden appearance in the room. She introduces herself as Charlie. Adam offers her to shake his hand, only for it to go through.

“Ha! I fuckin’ got you! Did you fucking see that? Good shit.”

You let out a slight laugh, as you sit and watch the meeting happen. Well, you say “meeting” but nothing about it seemed very professional. Adam for the last hour (you honestly wasn’t sure at this point) had been talking about the most random of things.

You or Lute occasionally shakening your head yes or no while listening to him, while Charlie seemed quite tired already. Not that you could blame her, people who weren’t used to Adam’s banter definitely weren’t cut out for it. But You love every word that comes out of his mouth.

Eventually Adam decides that it’s time to get into what you all came here for. Pulling out a bunch of papers, Charlie begins explaining her solution to hell’s overpopulation. You were only really half listening at first, at least before she mentioned that her solution could stop the extermination which peaked your interest.

She explains her “Hazbin Hotel” and its purpose to rehabilitate sinners, you wanted to hear more of it but Adam cut her off.

The meeting didn’t really go that well, At least for Charlie. But the whole thing left quite the impression on you. The idea of ending the extermination was stuck in your head for so long, and now you had someone who had an alternative.

“Adam, are you sure that it couldn’t have worked?”

Adam looks at you in surprise “What? Do you think that shitshow could have actually worked?” He laughed as he placed a hand on your back. “Don’t even pay it any mind, alright Babe?”

“I know, it’s just… you know I don't like the extermination. So another way to lessen the population of hell should at least be looked into.” Your voice was soft enough to barely hear.

Adam’s gaze softened but he didn’t say another word, only wrapping his wing around you pulling you closer. You lean towards him, snuggling into his soft robe. No matter how much you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t. You needed to do something, anything.

So that night, after Adam fell asleep, you asked to talk with Sera. Leaving a note for Adam saying you went to buy something just in case he woke up.

“What is troubling you?” Sera’s voice was clear and concise.

You looked toward the ground, your nerves feeling tighter than ever, as you struggled with how to put your words together. “You're aware of all that happened in the meeting with Lucifer’s Daughter, right?”

Sera nods her head “of course, all meetings are documented about as they happen.” She tilts her head slightly “What about it?”

“Well!” You steel yourself before continuing “I would like permission to observe Charlie Morningstar’s ‘Hazbin Hotel’”

Sera’s eyes widen, breaking her calm demeanor before giving a firm “No”

“But-“

“It’s too dangerous for you to be there, Adam wouldn’t want that anyways”

“He would listen if it was an order from you!” Your eyes felt watery but you continued “Please Sera… I know you don’t want the extermination to continue. Just let me do this!”

Sera looked away from you, her feelings evident on her face, any mask now down. ‘Just a little more’ you thought

“Sera, I promise you, I’ll be careful! We don’t even have to fully support them yet, just let me observe them. It would be devastating if so many souls parish if we failed to seek all options!” You beg

Sera sighed, shakingly “…I’ll see what I can do.”

Your eyes gleamed up at the tall woman “Sera, thank you, thank you!” You wanted to hug her but out of courtesy, you advised against it.

Sera tells you that she can’t guarantee anything but she will try as she sends you home to rest.

A few days past after that and you haven’t heard anything from Sera. It was a little worrying and felt like a bad sign to you. That was, until you were informed by Sera that your request was accepted!

“But.” Sera stops you before you can celebrate “You're only there to keep track of the progress and to make sure nothing is happening under our noses” You nod your head in understanding

“Also…” she pauses “If anything involving this hotel happens, you will have to take full responsibility, understood?”

You nod again “yes I understand. Have you… told Adam yet?”

She shakes her head

“Ok… can you… not tell him it was my idea, please. I don’t think he’d agree if he knew.”

Sera sighs before nodding her head “Very well, I’ll tell him after you leave”

“Thank you.”

You return home, when you got back Adam was already gone, Sera must have already called him to the office. You dreaded when he got back. You didn’t want to see him upset, it hurt you to know how worried he was for you.

A few hours later, Adam comes through the door in a panic. He stomps up to you and pulls you into a warm and intense embrace.

“Don’t go down there. I need you here with me” his voice hitches as his wings wrap around you both, curling you both into a warm and feathery ball.

“Adam…” you paused, was this really the best thing to do? No, It had to be. If this goes well, not only will the extermination stop but Adam wouldn’t have to go down to hell ever again.

“Adam, you know I can’t go against Sera’s orders.” You kiss his cheek “and I won’t be gone forever, I’m only supposed to be there till the next cleanse. Not to mention, I’ll always come back to see you.”

Adam grumbled a little “I know, I just… don’t like you being in the same place that bastard is, and in his brat’s stupid hotel! ”

You laugh softly “Adam…” grabbing his hand, you put yours in it, showing off the gold ring on your finger “I’ll never forget my promise. You know that, right?”

Adam looks at the ring, the gold wrapped around your finger with a perfectly snug fit. Everytime he looked at it was just a reminder of your love for him. That promise was something he could never forget. He slowly raises your hand to his LED mask, kissing the back of it. “Of course not.”

“Good. I promise I’ll be fine, ok?”

He nods. Hand in hand, you slowly lead you both to the bed. The both of you lay next to each other, your bodies linked together like knots. You slwoly remove his helmet from his head, laying it on the nightstand.

Your hands move up his body before landing on his face, cupping his cheeks before pulling him to a kiss before snuggling into his chest.

Finally it was Time for you to leave. Sera allowed you to create portals back to heaven in case anything happened and you were in need of assistance. Adam walked you to the front gate.

“Ok, do you have everything? You didn’t forget that fucking angelic dagger I had Lute get for you right-“

You shush him “Adam, I told you I’ll be fine!”

He’s sighs “Damn it- I know that but just make sure to text me while your there ok-

You kiss him deeply “Adam. I know, you’ve told me a hundred times.” You smile as you cup his face “I love you”

He sighs “Love you too Sweetcheeks”

With one final kiss, you give Adam a tight hug before waving goodbye as you went through the flaming portal. As you went through, you take a second to look at your surroundings. In front of you was a tall building. You take a few steps back to see LED lights of a sign flashing the words ‘Hazbin Hotel’

You let out a sigh of relief. You had been a tad bit worried you’d spawn somewhere random and you’d have to find the building yourself. But it seems heaven at least spared you of that.

The red skies of hell were quite different from the pristine blue ones of heaven. Even though you just got here, you could already hear the sounds of screams and explosions in the distance. How welcoming.

You steel yourself and with three hard knocks to the door, you wait for someone to open it. Muffled Scurrying sounds of footsteps approach the door before it creaks open revealing the young blond woman in the doorframe, Charlie Morningstar.

“Hi! I’m-“

The door is slammed shut, Before opening again

“Be not afraid-“

It shuts again…

Well, this may be a bit harder than you initially anticipated. You go to knock again only for it to open once more. This time, the door doesn’t close again, instead the girl mutters a quick “Hi” before going quiet.

“Hello! I didn’t mean to scare you!” You give a small laugh before continuing “I believe we met a couple days ago?” You bring your hand towards her for a shake, to which she reciprocates.

“During the meeting with.. Adam? Right?” She grimaced when she mentioned Adam, which you decided to ignore, you simply smiled and nodded. ”but I don’t believe I caught your name?”

You tell her about yourself, about how your there to stay and monitor any progress the hotel may have. You made sure to pronounce ‘may.’ While you were hoping for this idea to show some kind of positive results, even you weren’t sure if it’d would work.

“Charlie? who’s at the door- WhatHolyShit-“ a woman with a red X over her eye suddenly shouts in surprise. You look over at her, She looked very familiar…

“Wait, you are-“

“Vaggie! Charlie’s sinner girlfriend! And you are?!” The woman known as Vaggie, highlighted the word sinner while performing a “be quiet” gesture with her hand. Your eyes widen a little at the ex-Angel in front of you but you simply smile a nod “I’m Y/n, I don’t believe we’ve met, yes?”

Look, lying is the last thing you’d want to do as a citizen of heaven but you figured that it would be fine if it was to protect someone. Vaggie nodded, her face scrunched up in a tense look.

“You feeling ok Vaggie? You’re looking a little… red?”

“I’m fine! *ahem*, Hun, how about you give them a tour of the hotel.”

Charlie gasped “Yes that's perfect, you may as well get acquainted with everyone if you’re going to be here more often!”

Charlie ran off, telling you “this way! This way!” Over and over. Before you went to follow her, you leaned toward Vaggie and said a quick “Relax, I won’t tell anyone.”

She lets out a sigh before muttering “Thank you”

You both follow Charlie as she shows you the various rooms in the hotel before leading you back to the hotel’s lobby and lounge area.

“Hey! Hello everyone!” Charlie’s voice picked up a little “I’d like to introduce you to our uh… new staff member?” You nod in agreement with the title. The room in front of you was shrouded in looks of both horror and amazement.

“What the hell’s an angel doin’ here?” A lanky spider demon spoke up first

“It’sss an ambush! seek Cover!!” The Snake demon shouted, seemingly grabbing an army helmet from thin air before taking a deep dive behind the couch.

“No Pentious-” She sighs “they’re here to monitor the hotel! Heaven sent them to scout any potential progress the hotel will have”

“It’s nice to meet you all” you look at the people in front of you, to say it was a colorful cast would be an understatement.

“These two are our current tenants of the hotel! Angel dust and Sir Pentious!”

The snake slithered slowly from behind the couch up to you, while the Spider demon remained rested on the couch

“Oh… *ahem* Excuse me dear! I am Sir. Pentious! Formally known as ‘the Architect of destruction’!” He laughs, a slight hiss sounding in his voice.

He offers a handshake which you accept. To which you immediately regret. ‘ Slimey’ you thought, before wiping your, now wet hand on your clothes.

The spider demon, who you now know as Angel Dust, just gives a wave with one of his 4 arms.

“And-“ Charlie extends the word as she quickly walk to a bar by the entrance “this is the recreational area, run by our Bartender, Husk!”

The winged bartender seemed entirely uninterested in your presence or even Charlie’s. The most you got was a small glance before he takes a swig of his alcohol and walks off.

“He’s not the most… social guy in hell” she awkwardly laughs before moving on to the next person. “And this is Nifty, our one and only maid at the hotel! Nifty say hi.”

The short woman scurried moved around you, her eye quickly looking at every every nook and cranny of you as she moved. She made numerous attempts to touch and grab various things on you, your clothes, wings, and eventually she tried to climb up you to get to your halo. That’s when you finally grabbed her in place “you're a… fast one, huh? Nice to meet you!”

“And last but not least! This is Alastor, the hotel’s executive producer and our first -and only- overlord sponsor!”

Immediately, you could tell there was something off about Alastor. The entire aura he gave off was as if he was restraining something completely and utterly ungodly. The static that surrounded him was just one of many whispers you could hear from his soul.

“Hello! It’s quite a pleasure to meet someone of your… holy status!” He offers a hand to which you, hesitantly, shake. “And what do we owe the pleasure for your service?”

“They’re going to be here to keep track of the progress of the hotel…” Charlie paused “you know I’m starting to sound like a broken record- here, it’s late, how about we all get some sleep and we can talk about it in the morning!”

“Fine by me, I am waaay too sober to be having social interaction this late” Angel picks himself up and stretches “I’m gonna hit the hay”

“Here I’ll show you to your room!” Charlie smiles “We -obviously- didn’t have time to make your own so I hope you don’t mind using one of the guest rooms” she laughs

She and Vaggie walks you to your new room before leaving you be, The room was nothing more than just your average hotel room. Of course it did have its differences, a multitude of… eyes seem to be on the wall, staring at you. Well, that’s not the least alarming.

You place your stuff down and begin unpacking, you mostly just brought the basics. Clothes, hygiene stuff, your phone, and, most importantly, a framed photo of Adam.

You sat the photo on your nightstand, angling it just right so that it would always be visible to you. As you do so, you think about the memory the photo brings, you took it on one of the first dates you went on with Adam. It was a relatively tame date, you and Adam, having a picnic by a lake at night. You brought candles so you both weren’t completely in the dark, and you just loved the way he looked, his golden eyes watching the water. The dim candle light illuminating his face with a warm golden shade. Adam hates photos of him with his mask off but… You just had to keep that moment in time forever.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Speak of the- well, you know the rest. The bright light from the phone comes with the notification sound displaying Adam in bold letters. You smile as you read his messages.

Dixkmaster69

Heyy Sweetcheeks, it’s been a bit since you left

You there??

Fucking answer

You let out a small laugh at Adam’s barrage of messages. He’s not used to you being away from him for more than a day, huh? Not that you could blame him, this is honestly nothing compared to how you feel each year he has to do the extermination.

Sweetcheeks

Hey love

Everything’s fine, I’m ok.

Aside from not having you with me :’(

Dixkmaster69

Fucking finally

You know you don’t have to do this

If I bitch enough to Sera I can get you back by tomorrow

Sweetcheeks

Please don’t, Sera already has enough on her plate.

I promise I’m going to be fine

I’ll be back before you know it.

Dixkmaster69

I know

This shit just worries me

Gonna miss hearing your sexy ass voice at night too ;)

You blush at the message before sighing. Whenever you or Adam approached a topic that made him uncomfortable, he would always try to change the subject to something that made him feel better. You knew why, Adam’s someone who rarely talked about his feelings, even after all these eons together that was something he hadn’t changed. You knew exactly what he needed, even if he didn’t explicitly tell you.

Sweetcheeks

I already miss yours too <3

Do you want to help me fall asleep with that heavenly voice of yours on the phone?

Dixkmaster69

Whatever you want Sweetcheeks <3

You smile when, almost immediately, Adam begins calling your phone. You click the lights off before You make your way in your new bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes you’ve been wearing. You grab the cover and pull it over you and tapping the answer button.

“Sup”

You yawn “Hey handsome, I missed your voice”

You hear his voice hitch before he caused on “Of course you did, no one has a better voice than the dick master. But uh, yours is a close second”

You’re let out a tired giggle, “such a charmer, you. How’s your day been huh?”

“Oh! don’t even get me started on that- Lute took me to get some ribs to ‘calm my nerves’ or some shit and they had me, ME, wait in line for like 15 minutes! The fucking audacity!”

You smile to yourself as Adam tells you about his day, the sound of his voice was like a sweet lullaby to your ears and you couldn’t get enough of it. But eventually…

“And then when I got home, I couldn’t find my damn charger and it took me like 40 fuckin’ minutes to realize it was under our bed, do you have any idea of how it keeps getting there?” He waits for you to respond only to be met with silence. “Uh bitch, I’m talking to you.”

More silence… well no, actually if Adam focused on listening, he could hear the faint sound of your snoring from the phone. Adam sighs,”Long day, huh?”

Adam lays back in your shared bed, getting comfortable. He sets the phone beside him, plugging it in while keeping it on speaker. He yawns, “Goodnight Sweetheart, can’t wait to see you again”

Slowly, the soft sounds of both yours and Adam’s snores filled each others rooms, a distant, but intimate connection. Even in slumber, you couldn’t stop thinking of your handsome and caring soulmate.

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hiveswap · 8 months

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Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

#catoftheyear #jellie #tw animal death #tw suicide bait #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #adding to main tags so people see this instead of the poll itself with no context on how it ended #If this breaches containment and gets used as a reason to hurt mcyt fans i am going zo eat whoever is doing that #catoftheyeartournament #jellie the cat

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picturejasper20 · 11 months

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Steven Universe as a character is someone who has been mischaracterized and flanderized over the years, to the point people who aren't into the fandom or haven't watched the show believe that mischaracterization to be a fact rather that a product that comes from memes and jokes

The truth is that Steven often fights in the series when it is needed, usually by fusing with someone else like Connie or Amethyst since he is still developing his powers in the original series. He doesn't cry when he has to fight back or defend himself, with exception if the person attacking is someone he considers a friend. Because, yes, for a 14-15 old teenager it isn't fun having to do something like that and it can be traumatic.

He also doesn't start to cry the moment someone refuses to change their mind or is being mean. He often isn't afraid to be sarcastic or call that person out. He didn't cry when Aquamarine mocked him in ¨Stuck Together¨ nor when Jasper didn't apologize for poofing Amethyst in ¨Crack the Whip¨

However, what we see is sometimes him blaming himself for not being able to help people that, more often than not, have been hurt by Rose Quartz, his mother, in some way. After Season 3, Steven fears a lot that he is going to become like Rose and he is going to hurt people the way like she did.

In general Steven deals with an Atlas complex in the show. He feels like he has to fix his mother mistakes and deal with ¨what she left behind¨ even when Rose wanted for him to be his own person as seen in the tape she left for him as it was revealed in the episode ¨Lion 4: The Alternate Ending¨.

Steven also defines his identity a lot for being to help other people and fix their problems. He believes that he has to be ¨useful¨ for others. So when he believes that he failed to help someone, that may lead him to think that he isn't living up to his ¨purpose¨ or that he is a failure as a person.

In reality, he isn't that much different from other hero protagonists from other animated shows. Those who are kind and emphatic and willing to listen to other people and give them a second chance if the person changes their ways. You probably like an animated show that has a protagonist like this. (Who was probably taken inspiration from Steven if the series came out after SU).

The main difference, i think, is that Steven goes a bit more than those protagonists do when it comes to listening to other people, understand their motivations and give them another chance if they regret their actions. A lot has to do with how he is aware that his enemies (usually gems) act the way the do because of the system they were born into rather ¨they are evil just because¨. He gets that their motivations come from the system that hurt them or lead them to believe that their actions are justified.

Another common mischaracterization is that Steven becomes super buddies with every person he helps...when this isn't always the case. There are some occasions that Steven shows discomfort around people who he has given a second chance. Just because he gives them a second chance doesn't mean that he immediately considers them close friends, maybe allies at best.

A good example of this is the gif above of Steven's interactions with White Diamond in ¨Homeworld Bound¨. White Diamond touches Steven very close to where his gem is- which makes Steven distressed since in his battle again White, she ripped his gem out to prove that Pink was still ¨alive¨. In most of the episode Steven shows to be very uncomfortable around the Diamonds and Spinel, to some extent. They bring him bad memories, which is the main reason he has been doing everything to avoid going to them to ask for their help until this point in Steven Universe Future. He even almost accidentally hurts White's gem by smashing her head against a pillar when she lets him control her to talk to himself. This being result of a intrusive ¨vengeful¨ thought.

I wouldn't say that Steven hates the Diamonds,but- he doesn't want to be their friend neither and wants to avoid in general because he feels nervous and bad around them. It's something like ¨I'm glad that you are changing but i don't want to be associated with you. Please, i would appreciate if you kept your distance from me.¨ dynamic.

On last point, Steven is someone who usually pushes his feelings down in certain situations and buries them down, which has led him to have strong emotional outbursts in bad moments. He usually prefers to ignore his own problems and take priority on others. Again, this comes a lot from his desire to be useful and be needed, making him trying to ignore how he feels about certain people and pretend that he is doing fine.

This explains why we don't see him lash out that much to others in the original series, and, why he feels so frustrated and angry in Future, since all that anger and negative feelings can't no longer be ignored as they used to and they are having a negative impact in Steven's mental health. This, of course, isn't meant to be seen is a healthy coping mechanism. It is in fact potrayed as something pretty self-destructive for Steven, as a huge flaw of his, that over time he comes to learn that it isn't the best way for him to deal with his problems.

These are some of the most common misconceptions i have seen about Steven's character online. I could go in more depth with some of them but i think the points should be clear enough. This could be considered a general analysis of how Steven is as a character and how he operates, leaving aside more specific things that can be covered in other posts.

#steven universe #steven quartz universe #steven universe future #rose quartz #su analysis

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puckbunnyera · 8 months

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New Friend | Luke Hughes

• ──────────────♡────────────── •

pairing: luke hughes x reader genre: fluff (?) word count: 1.3k warnings: none summary: a chance meeting with NHL superstar rookie, Luke Hughes, leads to an surprising new friendship

notes: first time writing on this account. will probably end up taking this down or heavily editing as my writing progresses because I'm not sure if I like this one. we'll see 🤷🏽‍♀️.

update: link to part 2 here

• ──────────────♡────────────── •

The smell of sweat, alcohol, and cigarette smoke overwhelms my senses as I sit at a booth in the corner of an overcrowded bar that my two best friends have dragged me to in Newark. Nausea swirls in my stomach at the sight of all the intoxicated bodies dancing and stumbling around me. After accompanying them to an intense hockey game between the New Jersey Devils and Chicago Blackhawks, ending with a 4-2 win for the Devils, they had decided that the success of their favorite team called for a celebration.

Not much of a party person, I decide to hang back at a table and keep watch of their belongings while they leave to go dance the night away amongst the other drunk people who litter the bar. To ease the anxious feeling in my chest, I pull my phone from my crossbody bag and open up my Kindle app. I choose the book I have recently been invested in, and I quickly become immersed in it. I'm not sure how much time passes by but I'm just reaching a really intense part in the storyline when a male voice grabs my attention.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

Lifting my gaze from my phone screen, I meet with the gaze of a very handsome stranger. Shyness begins to take over as I realize that he's talking to me. My words leave me as I continue to stare at the guy in front of me. My lack of response must come off as apprehension because he quickly begins to apologize.

"Sorry if I scared you." He starts. "The bar is pretty packed and all of the tables are full. My friends ditched me to join the crowd and I'm not really a fan of these types of outings."

"It's fine," I reply as words finally find their way into my brain and out of my mouth. "I don't mind." I gesture to the empty seat at the other side of the booth.

"Cool." He nods, sitting down. "I'm Luke, by the way."

"Y/n." I respond. "Nice to meet you."

"I like your jersey." He refers to the Devil's apparel that I'm still wearing from the game I'd attended earlier in the night.

"Uh, thanks." A blush rises to my cheeks at the unexpected compliment. "It was the first jersey I saw in my size at the fan shop so I bought it."

"I'm assuming you're not a Devil's fan, then."

"Not really." I shrug. "My friends are though. I don't know much about hockey, but they love it. They convinced me to go watch the game with them tonight hence why I bought the jersey. What about you?"

"Kinda have to be considering I play for the team." He responds nonchalantly. His words leave me a little stunned and a lot confused.

"I can't tell if you're lying or not."

"I'm serious." He chuckles. "In fact, that's my last name and number you're wearing right now. Look me up if you don't believe me. Luke Hughes, number 43, of the New Jersey Devils. I won't be offended."

I do just that after picking up my phone from the table from where I had previously abandoned it after he made his appearance. Looking through the Google results, I realize that everything he just said is true.

"Okay, so you are telling the truth. But why would you just openly admit that to me? Aren't you worried that I might run off and tell everyone in the bar that I'm talking to The Luke Hughes? Or post it on the internet or something?"

"No." He shakes his head. "Call me naive, but I don't think that's the type of person you are."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Instinct or whatever you call it." He shrugs, a goofy grin on his face.

"What's it like, being on the ice? It seemed intense, and I was only watching it. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to play."

"It is intense, but I love it." He replies honestly. "I always have."

We continue to talk back and forth for what seems like forever. Taking turns to ask each other questions and sharing random stories that have us laughing, almost to the point of tears. At one point during the conversation, he moves to sit on my side of the booth so he can show me a video of his brother falling off of a board while wake-surfing at their lake house in Michigan. He's in the middle of telling the story of the time he almost had to go streaking across his college campus when he's interrupted by a noticeably drunk man, a few others following behind him as he approaches the table.

"Lukey!" He exclaims loudly, making me laugh as he wraps an arm around the shoulders of a flustered Luke. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

"Who's your friend?" Another man questions as they file into the booth seat. The one embracing look shoves us over to sit on our side.

"I'm Y/n." I introduce myself.

"Nico." He greets me before pointing to the other men at the table. "That's Dawson, John, and-"

"And I'm Jack." The loud one from before interrupts. "I'm Lukey Pookies older brother." He lifts a hand and teasingly pinches Lukes cheek.

"My very drunk older brother." Luke huffs in annoyance and swats Jack's hand away.

"Nice to meet you." I giggle as the brothers begin to bicker.

As casual conversation begins amongst the group that has formed at the table, Luke scoots closer to where our shoulders and thighs lightly brush against each other with every slight movement and he leans in to whisper in my ear.

"Sorry about them." He smiles sheepishly when I turn towards him.

"Don't worry about it." I assure him. "They seem fun." He nods before turning to join the conversation.

It's nearing two in the morning when Nico, who seems to be the only sober one in the group aside from Luke, announces that it's time for them to head home. There are a few groans of disappointment, which Nico ignores as he begins to pull them from their seats. After they say their goodbyes and begin to walk away, Luke turns towards me.

"I know this is probably weird, and feel free to say no, but I was wondering if I could get your number." He questions, shyness washing over him. "This is the first time in what feels like a long time that I've been able to have a conversation with anyone, let alone a girl, whose intentions aren't to take advantage of my fame or status to influence their own. I would really like to get to know you more. As a friend, of course."

"Of course. I'm always down to make a new friend." I smile, a fluttering sensation forming in my chest as I take his phone and add my contact. A few seconds after handing it back, my own phone buzzes.

"I just texted you so now you have mine. I have to go but text me when you get home, so I know you made it safely."

He seems to hesitate for a few seconds, as if trying to make up his mind about something, before he leans in a brushes his lips softly against my cheek. When his face is visible again, he is sporting a bright red blush, mine surely looking the same if the warmth in my cheeks says anything. He says goodbye quickly before turning to run after his friends who are whooping and hollering, having seen the whole thing. I smile to myself as I gather mine and my friends belongings, a giddy feeling running through every fiber of my being. I make it only a few feet from the table when I almost run into my friends, both standing in front of me, with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Tell us everything!" They exclaim as they each grab one of my arms and begin to pull me out of the bar.

#luke hughes #new jersey devils #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagine #lh43 #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes fic #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #isa.writes

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xsaltburnx · 8 months

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Hate or Love?

Farleigh Start + fem! reader

a/n: I really, really, really wanted to write this, I got a little bit carried away but I seriously enjoyed writing this so fucking much, I hope you'll like it, also I apologize for any grammar mistakes you may find in this

warning: 18+, just pure filth, handjob, degrading, Farleigh being a bottom, dom! reader, masturbation, swearing, P in V, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

word count: 4, 059

People always say there is a thin line between love and hate and one night you discovered how thin that line really is.

You were walking down the long hallways of Saltburn estate, all of the lights dimmed, making it look a little bit spooky, the only thing bright enough to light up the rooms was the full moon out there shining through the large, floor to ceiling windows. You walked around quietly, tripping over your own two feet after you had a few drinks too much with Venetia down in the gardens, reminiscing about the past year. Everything around you was quiet, not even a sound of a fly in the air, only your footsteps, your heels digging into the hardwood floors echoing throughout the hall. You spun around a few times, just dancing to a familiar tune in your head, your eyes scanning the paintings on the walls. You laughed at yourself and realized how silly you probably look but who cares, it's not like anybody was around to observe what you were doing.

You reached your room, your fingers wrapping around the doorknob when something else caught your attention. You walked closer to the door right next to your room and noticed how the doors were slightly ajar, a slight light shining through the gap. A quiet moan coming from the room was the thing that caught your attention and then a few seconds later another one. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You licked your lips and peeked through the gap, careful not to push the doors open and disturb whatever was on the other side of the door. And there he was. Farleigh Start with his head thrown back, his lips parted as his right hand worked slowly on his hard cock. You couldn't help but swallow hard at the sight of him, looking so vulnerable and desperate with his shirt off and his pants pushed down to his knees. His legs were slightly spread apart, a hint of sweat glistening on his chest, making it look like fucking glitter, the shine of the moon only enhancing that. He looked absolutely fucking etheral and you felt something in your stomach, something you've never felt before.

Usually, you couldn't stand Farleigh. He was fucking annoying all the time, something about his snarky remarks made your blood boil and the way he always teased you had you going absolutely crazy. But this. This was something different.

You watched as his head was thrown back in pleasure, his large hand wrapped around himself, skillfully working on his hard cock. He kept switching the pace between fast and slow. Everytime he started moving his hand slowly, his lips parted in pleasure and his moans were a lot louder, his hips jerking up looking for more friction, his cock looking to be buried in something tighter than just his hand. You felt your mouth water when you noticed how he picked up his pace, frantically sort of abusing his cock, wanting to feel that incredible euphoric, mind blowing orgasm he's been chasing for the last few minutes. You stepped a little bit closer, still very careful and then your legs felt like someone kicked you in the knees, your body tensing up as you choked on your own saliva. His cum shot out of him, all over his stomach as your name fell off his lips, his hand still massaging his cock. He stopped his movements and just let his hand drop down on the bed next to his body, his head still thrown back, his chest moving up and down heavily as he was trying to catch his breath.

Was it always like that? The answer is yes. Farleigh had a thing for you. You've always seen him as someone who absolutely hated your guts and you hated him, but you would be lying if you said that you have never thought about what it would be like to have him buried deep inside of you, crying out his name, but based on this, you saw him as someone who would be crying out your name.

You stepped back and walked quickly inside of your room, closing the doors behind you as you tried to catch your breath, the sight of Farleigh like that totally turning you on. You shook your head and took all your clothes off as you laid down on the bed, your clothes scattered on the floor. Your head was spinning so much and your mind was such a mess that the best thing to do was to just fall asleep. Maybe it was all a dream.

That's what you thought when you woke up in the morning and put on your silky summer dress, wrapping two straps that were attached to it around your waist and tying them up into a bow. You tousled your hair a bit, trying to make it look presentable and headed downstairs and outside where you would be having your breakfast that day. Almost everybody was already outside, James and Elspeth the only ones missing from the table. There was Felix, Venetia and Oliver, Felix somehow already annoyed about something. The topic of the day? Oliver's birthday party.

"So mum said there's going to be about 200 people at the party tonight." Venetia said, grabbing a spoonful of freshly cut fruit mixed with some yoghurt and placing it into her mouth, pieces of apples and grapes crunching underneath her teeth.

"Why so many? I don't even know that many people." Oliver trailed off, his voice weirdly sounding more innocent and almost child-like.

"All your friends are definitely coming, the number just kept going up. Mum always has to be extra about this." Venetia took a chocolate croissant and took a bite out of it, her fingers squeezing it slightly.

"What friends?" Farleigh made another snarky remark, his eyes never leaving the paper in front of him, a cigarette in his one hand. He took a drag out of it and blew the smoke in the air as you watched him have that same judgy look on his face as always. That was definitely just a dream because just by looking at him made your blood boil. You scoffed at him and shook your head, making him look at you.

"Typical." You just trailed off and took a sip of freshly squeezed orange juice.

"I'm sorry, do you have a problem with me?" Farleigh asked, his tone again so condescending, his eyes squinting a little bit.

"I don't know, do I?" You replied and licked your lips, a smirk plastered across your face.

Oliver interrupted but none of you looked at him. Your eyes were still glued on Farleigh and how he kept smoking and flipping through the newspaper, not even looking at it.

"C'mon guys, we were talking about the party, I think Oliver would love it if we stop with whatever this is and just focus on the party." Felix said and took off his glasses, placing them on the table next to his plate.

"I think Oliver would rather throw himself out of the window." A slight grin appeared on Farleigh's face but quickly disappeared, a cigarette between his fingers burning, getting smaller and smaller.

"Yeah, you would know, you get that feeling every fucking day." You mumbled but Farleigh heard you loud and clear and now he was the one who scoffed and rolled his eyes. Venetia groaned and threw her head back in frustration, dropping the croissant on her plate.

"Why can't you guys just fuck and get rid of all of this tension and save us all the fucking drama?" Venetia pointed at you and Farleigh, your eyes going as wide as they could at her comment.

"Yeah, no thanks. I would rather throw myself out of the window than do that." You trailed off and got up as you slowly walked away but managed to hear what Farleigh said.

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, you wish." You yelled and turned around on your heel, your dress lifting up slightly because of a slight summer breeze. You walked inside and rolled your eyes, your heart beating a little bit faster as you tried to calm down. Fucking Farleigh. He did make your blood boil like no other person has ever done before. Yeah, there were times where you could actually stand him but those were very rare.

You spent the rest of the day walking around the house, reading a book or just watching tv, trying to avoid Farleigh but wherever you went, he was still somehow there, just silently walking past you or sitting on a chair behind you, looking at something on his laptop. You still couldn't stop thinking about last night. Was it just a dream or did that really happen? It seemed too vivid to be just a dream and you were sure you weren't that drunk. His moans and a picture of him laying on the bed like that was still in your head and it turned you on so damn much, you were ashamed to admit how much you wanted him. Just for a night. Maybe he wouldn't be so annoying and you could actually stand him.

You got so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice what time it was. You had to get ready for the party.

When you walked outside, you couldn't believe how many people were attending this party, half of them probably not even knowing Oliver's name, let alone what the party was about and frankly you didn't even care. You walked around the gardens, a drink in your hand, the maze not that far from you. Some people bumped into each other, clearly already way too drunk to function properly and some walking confidently into the maze and you couldn't help but chuckle because you knew they would get lost in there and would probably need to call someone to come and get them.

You tripped over your own feet, your heel digging into the ground, spilling a little of that delicious red colored drink you had in your hand. You stopped in your tracks and turned around, a tall figure standing behind you, leaning against the pole with a horse mask on their head. A familiar laugh echoed inside the mask, a smirk appearing on your face when you realized who it was.

"Hello Farleigh." You muttered and crossed your arms, your body facing him. He removed his mask and placed it under his armpit, holding it with his arm tight to his body.

"How did you know it was me?" He asked and leaned forward, his teeth pulling on his bottom lip. His familiar scent invaded your nostrils and you noticed how his hair looked way fluffier than usual, probably because of the mask.

"It's actually very easy, there's not a lot of douchebags around here, at least I haven't seen any up until now." You trailed off and took a sip of your drink, your hand on your hip as you leaned towards him a little bit.

"God, you really do hate me, don't you?" He asked, slight amusement in his voice, his eyes looking a little bit darker or maybe you were drunk already and everything seemed different. God, he smelled fenomenal.

"I don't hate you. I just don't particularly like you or be in your presence in general." His brows furrowed but for only a second as he started laughing and crossed his arms, placing them on his chest. He stepped closer, now completely towering over you, his height still surprising you after years of knowing him. He looked down at you, your bodies only inches apart and for some reason he made you nervous.

"That's sort of the definition of hate. You're no picnic either, baby." He leaned down, his eyes now level with yours, his breath hot on your face. He smelled of mint and cigarettes, like always but this time mixed with something else, which you couldn't quite determine what it was. "But as much as you say you hate me, I know you want me." He whispered in your ear and then again leaned back, again towering over you.

"What?" You asked loudly, a confused look plastered all over your face. There was that cocky and confident attitude he always carried so proudly and that was exactly why he made your blood boil.

"If you want me to fuck you, you can just ask, I would gladly do it."

"I'd rather drink bleach. Baby." You mocked him at the end, imitating the way he previously said "baby". Now you were the one who stepped closer, your head leaned back a little bit, your eyes glued on his. "And it seemed last night that you were very desperate for me to fuck you. Not the other way around."

You saw his eyes go wide as he stepped back, almost tripping. You chuckled at his reaction and picked up the mask he dropped down next to his feet, the feeling of satisfaction basically radiating out of your body. He swallowed hard and suddenly went shy, unsure how to react to what you just told him.

"What? Nothing happened last night."

"Sure, baby. I have to go now, but you know where to find me." You winked at him and left him like that, befuddled, completely lost in his own world. It might've been a cheap shot but two can play this game and he seemed a little bit too cocky for someone who got knocked down with just one sentence, suddenly looking smaller than a grain of sand. Maybe that's why you haven't seen Farleigh for the rest of the night. That was kind of strange since he was sort of a real party animal. Where there's alcohol and drugs, there was Farleigh. But not this time.

Some idiot spilled beer on your dress, the smell being so overwhelming that you had to change immediately. You walked through the crowded hallways of Saltburn, walking past people making out, even fucking where everyone could see but I guess they didn't care. You carried your heels in your hand as you opened your bedroom door and walked inside, dropping the heels down on the ground.

You unzipped your dress and let it fall down, now pooling around your feet as you stepped out of it, kicking it with your one foot and throwing it across the room. You opened your closet to find something else to wear but then you heard something shuffle and you quickly turned around only to find Farleigh's eyes glued to your half naked body.

"What the fuck Farleigh?!" You exclaimed, but didn't even try to cover yourself. You stood confidently in front of him, his eyes scanning you from head to toe as you watched him swallow hard. "What are you doing in my room?"

"What did you hear last night?" His voice was low and somehow more gentle than it usually is. He almost looked innocent and not that intimidating anymore, a child-like presence in him.

"Oh nothing much." You trailed off and walked slowly towards him until you were completely glued to his warm body. His shirt was unbuttoned half way down, his chest exposed to your eyes. "But it was nice to hear my name falling off your lips so beautifully and so desperate when you finally came all over your chest." You trailed your fingers over his chest, drawing invisible circles before you lowered your hand right to where his belt was sitting.

"You weren't supposed to hear that. I was just-"

"I know." You interrupted him. "But I thought you hated me." You trailed off, your fingers now unbuckling his belt, pulling it off his pants in one swift motion.

"I do hate you." He whispered and parted his lips, his hot breath washing over your face as you unbuttoned his pants, revealing only his boxers. You snaked your hand inside his boxers, gently grabbing his cock and then slightly grazing it with your nails. You watched his lips part even more, a very quiet moan escaping his lips.

"This doesn't seem like you hate me, Farleigh." You pushed his pants down along with his boxers, exposing his bottom half to the chilly air inside your room. You spit down on your palm and then wrapped your fingers around his now semi-hard cock and started moving your hand up and down gently, barely even squeezing him.

"If you want me to fuck you, just say it." You whispered and picked up your pace, this time wrapping your hand around him a little bit more and tighter, your thumb grazing his tip slightly.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Farleigh?" You whispered and now only focused on his tip, his hips jerking up into your hand, obviously looking for more friction.

"No." He practically whimpered, his chest now heavily moving, his breath hitching in his throat everytime you squeezed his cock a little bit more and grazed his tip, his cock now rock hard in the palm of your hand.

"Are you sure?" He leaned his head down, his forehead now resting on top of your head, his whimpers a little bit louder as each second passed. You picked up your pace even more, his hand suddenly grabbing your shoulder, looking for some stability because his legs suddenly started feeling like jello.

"Fuck." He groaned out loud, his head now thrown back in pleasure, his eyes closed shut, his hips now also moving back and forth with the movements of your hand. "I'm so close."

You smirked, the satisfaction pooling out of your body. You knew what you were doing and right when he started whimpering even more, you knew that he was close and that's when you stopped what you were doing and removed your hand, his body almost falling forward. You stepped back and licked your hand, your tongue swirling around your fingers, a hint of his pre cum on the tips of your fingers.

"Why did you do that?" He cried out in frustration, his cock standing straight and up towards his stomach, his body shaking in frustration.

"Well you said you don't want me to fuck you. That's exactly what I'm doing." You sat down on one of the chairs in your room and crossed your legs, a sight of Farleigh standing like that in your room, with his pants halfway down, so desperate for your touch made you feel way too confident.

"Please touch me like that again, I'll do anything you want." He whimpered and pushed his pants down, completely taking them off. He stood like that for a few minutes and you couldn't stop looking at him. All this time you thought Farleigh was this dominating, take whatever he wants man, but in reality he was a complete opposite of that. Now that turned you on even more. Because it took you so long and because the only thing you did was stare at him, he looked down, looking almost defeated and just sat down on your bed.

You chuckled and finally got up as you walked towards him. You placed your finger under his chin and lifted his head up, locking your eyes with his.

"Move back." You commanded and he obeyed like the good boy he is. He laid down on the bed, his head resting on one of your pillows as you towered over him. You did the same thing as before, spit down on your palm and wrapped your hand around his cock and started playing with him again, moving your hand at a fast pace, this time from the beginning. You watched his brows furrow and lips part again in pleasure, his whimpers loud when he was close but before he reached his orgasm, you removed your hand from his cock again, earning another cry from him.

"Please let me cum. I want to cum." He whimpered, his voice cracking and you swore you saw tears in his eyes, clearly because of how desperate he was for his release, but you couldn't give him that just yet.

"Is that all you want Farleigh?" You asked quietly, your fingers drawing invisible circles on the tip of his cock, now very dark pink and way more sensitive than before. A thick vein spread from his tip to his pelvis, his cock rock hard and desperate for more friction, to have something tight wrapped around him.

"Yes." He answered quickly.

"Are you sure?" You squeezed his cock again, his hips jerking up one more time.

"Please fuck me. Please." He cried out, his hands grabbing your hips, trying to pull you closer, to touch you in any way, scared that you were going to leave him like this. You unhooked your bra and threw it down on the floor, your top half now completely exposed to him. You straddled him and moved your panties to the side, your fingers wrapping around his cock as you guided him and slowly sat down on his cock, letting him fill you up to the brim.

You moaned out, the feeling of him buried inside you even better than you have ever imagined, but what you liked even more was how his face looked. His eyes halfway closed, his teeth pulling down on his bottom lip, trying to hide his whimpers but that was something he just couldn't do because everytime you sunk down onto him, the moans he let out louder and louder until he couldn't handle it anymore.

"Is this what you wanted? You wanted me to fuck you like this?" You wrapped your hand around his and lifted them up above his head, your hips switching between grinding and lifting your hips up only to meet his at a fast pace.

"Fuck, yes, please, please make me cum!" He started thrusting his hips up, his tip hitting that sweet spot inside of you, your orgasm slowly building inside of you but you had a different plan for now, you wanted to make Farleigh cum first, but not just yet.

You pulled your off him again, denying him of yet another orgasm, Farleigh now practically crying as you saw a single tear roll down his cheek.

"Don't cry, baby." You whispered and smiled at him as you crouched above him again, his cock nestling inside your tight walls again, a loud whimper falling off his lips again. You started jumping on top of him at a faster pace, the palm of your one hand resting on his chest and supporting your body while the other made small circles on your clit, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach once more.

"Please let me cum, I'll be good, don't stop, please!" He threw his head back, another tear rolling down his cheek from the overstimulation and desperation, his large palms now glued to your thighs, his fingers digging into your flesh.

"Are you gonna cum?" You moaned out, your inner walls slowly clenching around his thick cock. "Look at you being a pretty little slut for me."

" Yes! Please!" He screamed out as you felt his hot sperm shoot inside of you, filling you up with everything he had, but you didn't stop just yes. You kept moving your hips, fucking yourself on his cock as you felt your orgasm slowly spread all around your body, the euphoric feeling almost too much to handle.

You stilled your hips and let your body fall on top of him, your head resting on his chest as you felt his heart beating so loud that it seemed like it could jump out of his chest. You looked up at him, his eyes closed and you couldn't help but admire how beautiful he looked like this. Freshly fucked, his hair messy, sweat glistening all over his body and his lips swollen from all the biting. Something in you was a lot stranger than the so-called hate you had for him, but as it turns out, it wasn't hate. You leaned forward and pressed your lips on top of his, your hand gently cupping his face as you felt him return the kiss.

"Do you still hate me?" You asked him, his fingers brushing the hair away from your face.

"I never did, baby."

#farleigh start #farleigh start smut #saltburn #farleigh start x reader #saltburn smut #saltburn x reader

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thisgingerhasnosoul · 1 month

Note

I wish i could send off anon as part of etiquette protocol but honestly a bit terrified of being booted from my internet circles for not buying into the “antizionism isnt antisemitism” bcs theyre functionally my interpersonal lifeline… Well, anyway.

I hope it’s okay to approach you asking for a masterpost of some kind that compiles a refutation of all the common claims made about zionism on here. I’ve researched the issue on my own in my own time, but the google search bar only gets you so far. I know much more about how palestinians have been affected by/view the ongoing genocide than i do about israelis and diaspora jews, and of course pro-israel reporting is generally not done to push back on antisemitism. It would be invaluable for me to have a resource i could reference offhand— please dont feel pressured to put any particular effort into this request, however. I simply felt that, at this stage, rather than reading more history and theory, it would be more meaningful to ask an actual jewish person for their views. You are just one person and i dont intend to merely use jewish people as an educational resource and nothing else, and i apologize upfront if you feel this is what i am doing.

Stay strong ❤️ these times are surely taxing for you amd other jewish tumblr users

Okay, it’s great that you want to learn more, anon, but I’m really kind of frustrated with your framing here. This flare up of violence literally started with ~1500 people—mostly Jews—being raped, tortured, kidnapped, and murdered. The immediate response to it was celebration, denial, and whataboutisms, followed by an increase in diaspora antisemitism unseen since the lead up to the Holocaust, including multiple instances of murder and sexual violence. And that isn’t even touching on the fact that half of all Jews are still under attack by Iran and their proxies (which includes the perpetrators of the October 7th attack), whose only goal is to wipe them out. So like, how exactly do you think this has affected us?

And look, I’m probably just tired and grouchy after my second 4 hour visit to urgent care in a week, but the point is that I’m just not in a place to find resources for you—especially because it feels like you’ll probably just write them off as “pro-Israel.” That said, if any of my mutuals are willing, be my guest.

#idk I’m frustrated and tired and probably not being very fair to anon #so do your thing beloved mutuals #ask response #antisemitism #jumblr #i/p #leftist antisemitism

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hyunniesgirl · 10 months

Text

Another Love | Part 2

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 5,302

Warnings: a bit of angst

>> Masterlist <<

A/N: hello!! I'm really happy about the feedback I got on the first part, I got sick and stressed because of work that's why it took me a bit long to post this part, I'll try and be faster for the next ones. Spoiler: things will get more interesting on the next part.

Han couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or even function properly since the day you left, it was so strange not having you around. He wakes up, gets to work, the boys make him eat something, they practice, then they eat something again because they know he's going home to starve himself in his pit of misery, then he gets home, takes a shower and goes to sleep.

He's always anxious, too afraid of losing you, every time he looks at his phone he's scared that a message from you will come saying you don't want to be near him anymore, saying you are not coming back.

He really wishes he could like you back, why wouldn't he? You're pretty, smart and funny. But he just never thought about you in that way, he's not sure why. You were always just his best friend, the one person that encouraged him to do the crazy things he wanted, the one person that got his back when things didn't work out, the first one he told when he passed the audition to be a trainee.

When he saw you at the party he was happy to see you smiling with other people, he was usually the one making you laugh but it made him relieved to see you were okay even if it was not with him.

It hurt so much when you ran away from him, he was already feeling bad but that made everything worse. So he drank more and more until he wasn't feeling anything anymore.

He saw the guy you were hanging out with, he was with his friends and you were nowhere to be found and even though he knew you didn't want to talk to him he went after you.

He found you outside, seated on the floor probably getting some fresh air or waiting for Hannah.

When you saw him he wished he didn't go after you at all. Everything happened so fast that he almost didn't manage to hold you before you walked past him running away again.

Han just couldn't let you leave like that, he was that desperate. He wanted to make you stay no matter what and he hurt you once more.

Was he even a good friend at this point? How many times can you possibly hurt someone and still be called a friend? He felt like trash waking up in the morning and remembering everything.

Chan insisted on coming home with him, he was feeling too guilty and too tired to protest, so he let his friend crash on the sofa.

Since Chan was there, Jisung should have expected a full breakfast when he got to the kitchen. Eggs, bacon and toast were waiting for him, but he didn't feel like eating.

"I feel awful, do you think I should go there and apologize to her?" Han asks and Chan shakes his head.

"She needs time, that's all you can give her now"

Han sighs, his anxiety going through the ceiling. He's lost, not sure if it's possible for things to go back to the way it was.

He could tell how worried you got when you saw him at the party, he knows too well the face you make when you want to scold him for not taking care of himself. So he spent the next week trying to get back on his feet, he doesn't want you feeling bad, he wants you to think the least about him so you can get over him soon enough.

So much happened during this time you were not with him, they finished their album and were going to Japan in two weeks. He wanted to show you their music, their new concept, the outfits, you always loved to see the clothes they would wear. You probably already know all of this, since you're living with Seungmin but he wanted to be the one showing you so he could see you smile and feel your support.

>><<

The group had gone to Japan, that included Seungmin, so he asked Hannah to stay with you in his apartment while he was away. It's nice spending so much time with her, there is this boy in her communication class she is absolutely sure will match perfectly with you, even though you already told her you don't want to deceive anyone, the thing with Heeseung made you feel bad enough. You know she's insisting on it because she cares about you, but you don't want to start a new relationship already on the wrong foot.

"I'm sure he's great, but I won't be going out with other people until I feel like I'll be able to get over Jisung"

"And when is that?" She asks frustrated, "I know a lifelong crush won't go away in a month but don't you think you have to meet other people and open up?"

You sigh, you just don't want to hurt anyone during your process of healing.

"If I find someone I like, I'll go out with them, alright? But don't set me up with random people"

She huffs, nodding, that's better than nothing.

Since Han is away, you take the opportunity and go to your apartment. You need some books, you have been borrowing Hannah's in an attempt to avoid going there to pick up yours.

There's nothing different in the house, you don't know if you should feel glad or sad about that. Although your life is turned upside down, things are still the same. You are sure you just need a little more time, things will get better soon.

You know that, because it didn't hurt as much as you thought going back to your apartment, you expected it would be much worse. Maybe it's because he's not there? That could be it but you have hope that the overall pain is gone, that it's not going to be so bad when you see him again.

Of course, as Hannah said, a lifelong love won't go away in a month, nor in two or five months, you're not sure even a year is enough but you can't wait until then, he's still your best friend and you miss him like crazy.

You're going to come back home when you're sure you let go of these feelings. Yes, it's going to be hard being with him but it's harder to stay away from your best friend.

So when you feel like you're finally open to meet new people without comparing them to Jisung and not feel like you're tricking them, when you feel like you can like someone else without feeling guilty, that's when you'll know you are starting to get over Han.

You take some clothes out of your wardrobe and put them in the bag with your books. Hannah is coming to pick you up since Seungmin let you use his car while he's away.

"Are you moving, ma'am?" Hannah asks, seeing your huge bag.

"A girl needs to be prepared", you answer and she laughs.

"Do you want some coffee?", you hum in agreement while turning on the radio.

You feel like it's finally peaceful in your head.

>><<

It's been some time since you visited your family, your parents call you every week to check on you and Jisung but when the holidays come you two have to go back home.

That's how you ended up in the car with him, it's not a long trip since you're going just outside of Seoul but it's still awkward.

This is the first time you're seeing each other after the party. The whole trip it seems like Han wants to say something, but he doesn't, he keeps stealing glances at you, opening his mouth and then closing again like he just thought it better to stay in silence.

"For fucks sake, just say what you want to say", you tell him minutes before your arrival at your family’s home.

He flinches, looking at you with puppy eyes.

"I wanted to apologize, about the whole thing at the party", he clears his throat, fidgeting in his seat.

You stare at him for a few seconds. Even though it hurts, the whole situation is less painful then you thought it would be.

When you received the call from your parents telling you to come home with Han on the weekend you couldn't say no, you don't want them to know about all the drama and before you could make up some excuse about Han's schedule they told you he already had agreed to go.

You exchanged messages with him, setting up the time for him to pick you up at Seungmin's place and you dreaded every minute of every day thinking about the moment you would have to face Jisung again.

When you got into his car, you felt uncomfortable. You made some small talk and left at that, hoping he wouldn't keep trying to talk. It's been two months since you confessed, maybe your heart is already accepting the fact that you and your best friend are just that, friends.

Of course it still hurts, you're not sure how you're going to feel seeing him with a girlfriend, but you hope it'll only get easier from now on.

"It's okay", you say. "You were drunk, let's not think too much about it"

"But I hurt you, again", he sighs, looking at you with a frown on his face.

"Yeah, you did", you sigh, "but you're my best friend and you apologized, I'm not going to hold that against you"

He parks the car, but doesn't make any movement to get out. Jisung is staring at his hands, holding the wheel.

"You're too soft on me", he mumbles.

"I know", you smile sadly, "it's just how things are between us", you open your door urging him to get out. You already can imagine your mothers making a fuss about why you stayed so long inside the car instead of going inside.

Your parents come out while you're going through the gate, your mom has a bright smile on her face and is waiting to give you a hug. It's good to be in her embrace again, her warmth makes you feel like everything will be okay.

"You lost so much weight, aren't you taking care of her?" Han's mother scolds him while giving you a hug and feeling you out.

"It's my fault, school is just crazy right now", you tell her, hugging her back.

"Nonetheless, you should eat", she looks back at your mother, "let's double the side dishes we packed for them", and your mom nods, going back inside with her best friend.

You take a deep breath, receiving a sympathetic smile from Han before he goes into the house. It's going to be a long day.

The lunch is somewhat calm, other than the dozens of questions your families ask to you two. About college, about living by yourselves, about Han's trips, how you stay alone and how that's dangerous, they ask about everything like they don't talk to you every week.

"I forgot the ice cream", your father says, slapping the palm of his hand onto his forehead and you can already predict the scolding he's going to receive from your mother. So you jump on your feet, offering to go to the convenience store to buy some.

"Go with her", Han's father says and he nods.

You wish he didn't, it's suffocating being so close to your best friends while still uncertain of your circumstances, but if you say you don't want to, they are going to ask why and having to explain that is going to be worse than spending the day with Jisung.

You walk quietly, looking at the houses on the street. Everything is still the same, other than some renovations made to the old houses there's nothing new. The convenience store is a ten minute walk away from your house. It's good walking a bit after eating so much, the thing you miss the most about living with your parents is your mother's food.

"Which flavor?" Jisung asks while looking into the freezer.

"My mom likes strawberry and yours like chocolate, let's take both", he nods.

"Oh my god, y/n and Jisung?" You hear that damn voice you can't forget even after almost 10 years.

You put on your best smile and turn around slowly.

"Hi, Haneul", you say, poking Han with your elbow, he's still focused on choosing ice cream.

"Oh, hey", he nods at Haneul, closing the freezer.

She eyes you two up and down and smiles.

"Are you finally dating?" She squeals and you can tell she's just being mean.

"No", you answer before Jisung can even open his mouth, he glances at you with a frown.

"I'm sorry, y/n, it seems not every teenage crush works out", she pouts, smiling even more now that she got what she wanted.

You watch as she turns around, walking more deep into the store and you grab the ice creams from Han's hands, going to the cashier to pay for it.

Haneul hated you ever since Jisung dragged you to go on their date in middle school, it's not your fault but you always guessed she blamed you for things not working out with him.

You want to cry, not because you're sad but because you feel humiliated. It's so frustrating knowing that everyone has always known about your feelings for Han, it's even worse to think one day a lot of your school classmates are going to see his wedding pictures with you as the third wheel as always and think of how much of a loser you're.

"How did she know about that?" He asks when you get out of the store.

"I don't think I did a good job at hiding my feelings", you shrug.

Han stops on his tracks, you only realize that after giving a few steps and you look back to see him staring at you with a confused face.

"Was I the only one that didn't know?" He asks and you sigh, you're not really in the mood to have this conversation.

"Our parents probably don't know either", you say and he huffs.

"I'm not joking, y/n! Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"What difference would it make if you knew?" You yell, finally losing it. You can feel the tears brimming in your eyes, but you won't cry, you were finally feeling a bit better and you're not going to waste another tear on this one sided love.

"Things could have been different, I could have been more careful, I could have told you to-"

He stops mid sentence knowing he shouldn't finish the sentence, but it's already too late.

"Would you have told me to move on?" You scoff, looking around to avoid the tears. "It's not that easy Jisung, this is not the same love you felt in your relationships that lasted three months", you know you're just being mean now, but you can't control it, not with all the hurt you're feeling. "I've been in love with you for years, don't you think I was afraid of that? Of you telling me that years of me pining over you were worth nothing?"

You turn around, "tell our parents that I met someone from high school and I'll be back later", you don't give him time to say anything back before you walk away.

After a few minutes, you feel the tears running down your face. At least you avoided crying in front of him.

Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't you just forget about him already? This process is taking too long and too much of your energy.

You sit in the park, wiping your tears and looking at the children playing. Everything was easier when you were at that age, you had no worries other than if it would rain the day you would go play with your friends outside or which present to give your parents on their birthday.

You look at your phone, answering your messages, your mother sent you a text telling you to not stay out too late but you don't think you'll be able to go back and stay in the same room as Han right now.

"Y/n?" You hear a strangely familiar voice, you look up and see a handsome man walking towards you. You're sure you know his face, but you just can't remember who it is.

He sees your frown and laughs.

"Jeongho? From middle school", he tells you and your eyes widen.

"Oh my god, Jeongho! How are you?" You ask and he smiles, he grew up really well. He's much taller now but he's still as handsome.

"I'm doing well, what about you?" He asks, sitting by your side, "are you visiting your family?"

"I'm great", you smile and nod, "yeah, Jisung and I came to visit"

What are the odds of you meeting Haneul and Jeongho of all people right after you confessed to Han? The universe really must be playing with you.

"I heard that you are living in Japan", you continue.

"Yeah, I came here just for the holiday", he explains, "actually, I come by pretty often to Korea", he clears his throat, looking at you. "Are you and Jisung a thing now?" He asks and you smile painfully, why must you answer this question twice in a day?

"No, still just friends", you tell and he smiles.

He nods, mumbling 'ah'.

"And… by any chance are you single?" He asks and you nod, feeling embarrassed. "Well, that's good news for me", he says, receiving a confused look from you while handing you his phone, "mind giving me your number? I'd like to keep in contact with you"

"Oh", you stare at the device for a moment, trying to process what he's saying. Is he interested in you?

"It's okay if you don't want to", he chuckles, "I'm just shooting my shot, knowing you're not with Jisung"

You laugh, releasing the air you didn't even notice you were holding.

"Yeah, sure", you type your number and give it back to him.

He stares at you with a satisfied smile before getting up.

"I have to go now, my family is waiting for me, but I'll text you", he says, flashing a smile and waving goodbye to you.

That was certainly unexpected, you would have never imagined you would meet Jeongho and he would still be interested in you. That lightens up your mood a bit, maybe this time you'll make the right choice and choose the person that likes you back.

You and Han don't share a word on your trip back, you don't want to talk to him and he seems too deep in his thoughts to say anything to you.

You finally can breathe when you get to Seungmin's, he's waiting with Hannah, beer and food, all you needed after this hell of a day.

>><<

You are in a lilac long dress, your friends are all seated in the first row. The church is full of people, some you know, some you're not so sure. You're happy, feeling your heart beat fast and butterflies on your stomach. Jisung is looking directly at you, he smiles with a proud look on his face.

However, before you can step closer to him, a loud piano sound starts playing and after a few seconds you recognize the wedding march. People stand up but they are not looking at you, neither is Han, they are all looking at the church doors where a beautiful woman is entering in a long white dress, a child walks in front of her, throwing roses in her path. The familiar round full cheeks make your stomach sink, why does that child look so much like Han? He doesn't have a younger sibling.

Then, it all sinks in, you're not the bride. Of course not, he's marrying another woman, a beautiful one at that. He's building his life and forming a family and you're just there on the sidelines. The bride steps in front of him and gives you her bouquet, smiling kindly at you.

You open your eyes abruptly, your chest is going up and down at a fast pace and your breathing is heavy, you're soaked in sweat. It was all a dream, a nightmare.

You sit on the sofa, feeling sore, all your muscles are tense. You can't believe you actually dreamt about something like that, your fear of always being there watching your best friend have his own life while still in love with him is taking over, even though you're trying to get over him.

It's two in the morning and you can't go back to sleep. It's better to take a shower and maybe go for a walk to calm your nerves.

The warm bath helps make you relax, but the memories from your dream keeps coming up on your mind again and again.

You text the only person who is probably still awake at this time and your phone buzzes seconds after your message is sent.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of being contacted by my most beautiful friend?” Chan's voice sounds on the other side of the line.

You chuckle.

“I knew you would be awake”, you tell him, fidgeting with your feet while trying to explain what's happening to him without humiliating yourself.

“I had a pretty bad nightmare and wanted to take a walk, maybe eat something? I don't know”, you whisper the last part and Chan sighs, he can tell you're not feeling well.

“Sure, I wanted to take a break anyway”, he says even though he's full of work to do.

You meet at a convenience store nearby, Chan's apartment is not far from Seungmin's since they can't live far away from each other, everyone lives close. You and Jisung did too- cursed man, coming back through your mind even though you're trying to think of anything but him.

“So”, Chan says, taking you out of your thoughts, “Jisungie told me you had a bit of an argument”, he tells you carefully, resting his elbows on the table you two are seated while he holds the beer can.

You sigh, of course he would tell Chan.

“Yeah, we just met someone from middle school during our trip and it ended up like that”, you explain after swallowing a mouthful of the hot spice ramen you have in your hands.

“I know things are not easy right now, for you or for him”, he says carefully, “but you're best friends, you have to communicate and talk things through”

“I guess”, you sigh. It's not easy to talk about Jisung, more so after the dream you had. You thought the worst part was already over, that you were finally getting over him. But it turns out it's not just willingness that makes things happen.

You wake up to your phone buzzing, you look at the time it's almost noon. You look through your messages and can't help but smile, Jeongho has been messaging you everyday since the last time you saw him. It's nice having this kind of attention, he's handsome and nice, maybe it's time for you to open your heart to someone else. The nightmare you had really terrified you, just thinking about it makes your head hurt and your chest ache.

Jeongho: good morning

Jeongho: I'll be in Korea next week, maybe we could have dinner together?

You: morning

You: yeah, that would be great!

You decide to give this a chance, it's not like it is going to kill you and Jeongho is well aware about your longing feelings for Jisung.

You're dressed in a red dress, feeling a bit uncomfortable, formal attire is not your usual outfit choice, but Jeongho set the date in a really fancy restaurant that you're not used to.

Of course you went to fancy restaurants before, the boys took you out often to celebrate their awards and new comebacks but since you always insisted on paying for your meals, they usually went to fancy but still affordable places.

Jisung always offered to pay for your meals, but you never accepted. If he did, you were afraid you would look too much like a couple and your heart might make you even more delusional.

“Good evening, how can I help you?” The receptionist asks and you look around, trying to find your date.

“Hm, hi. I'm here to meet a person, Kang Jeongho?” You eye the list on the counter to try and see if his name is there.

“Yes, mr. Kang is waiting”, he tells you, “may I take your coat?” He asks, gesturing to the long cover you have over you.

“Ah, yes”, you say, taking the piece and giving it to him.

The man gestures for you to follow and you walk behind him to the second floor. Jeongho is waiting at a table close to the window, he's looking at the view that you can see now it's marvelous.

“Mr. Kang”, the receptionist says and Jeongho turns around, giving you a big bright smile while standing up.

“Thank you”, he tells the man who nods at you and walks back to the first floor. “You look beautiful”, he tells you, pulling the chair so you can sit.

“Thank you, I didn't even know there was a second floor in this restaurant”, you say while watching him take his seat.

“Yes, they only open it on special occasions”, he says and you frown, looking around.

“You mean, they opened it so we could eat here?”

He nods, chuckling to your terrified face.

“What are you, the president’s son?” You joke, nervously, suddenly feeling absolutely out of place and underdressed.

“Not at all, you know my father and he's far away from politics”, he jokes back, “I’m friends with the son of the owner, he owed me one so I just asked for a favor”, he shrugs.

You look dumbfounded, who is this guy? Surely not the same teenager that looked absolutely heartbroken when you rejected him in middle school.

“What did you do for him to go to such lengths to pay you back?” You ask, curious.

“I introduced him to his wife”, he smiles, “he's madly in love with her, so this was nothing to how grateful he is to me”

“Oh”, you nod. That must be nice, having someone madly in love with you.

The waiter interrupts your interrogation to ask for your orders, you have no idea what to choose, but Jeongho explains to you each dish, asking if you would like something more spicy, salty or sweet and telling which one he thought you'd like better based on your answers.

“You know, you were my first crush”, Jeongho blurts out after the waiter takes the plates back to the kitchen. You feel your whole face hot, looking at him with wide eyes, “I'm sorry, I just thought you should know”, he smiles and you notice he has some deep dimples in his cheeks.

“I thought you asked me out in middle school because you lost a bet or something”, you put your hands to your cheeks, trying to ease the redness.

“I think you never gave yourself enough credit”, he points out, leaning his face on his hand while watching you. “You were always too focused on Jisung to actually see that I was not the only one looking at you with heart eyes”

You smile sheepishly, you knew your crush on your best friend was going to come up in the conversation at some point, but now that it did you don't know how to talk about it.

“Well, I found out not long ago that I was not as good as I thought at hiding my feelings”, you tell him, “apparently everyone knew that I liked my best friend—except him”

“Am I right to presume that you still have those feelings?” He asks slyly, your heart is beating fast, what if you tell him the truth and he says he doesn't want to see you anymore?

“Actually-”, you sigh, “I'm trying to get over them at the moment”

It's better he knows the truth, so he can enter this aware of your standing.

“Well, that's more than I expected”, he chuckles and you look at him confused, “I thought you were still hang up on him”

“I actually confessed”, you're feeling a bit more confident after his reaction, “and I was rejected, so I don't think there's much for me to hang on anymore”

“So, I'm sorry if I'm being too straightforward- but could I be greedy and believe I have a chance?” He asks and you're sure his eyes are wavering a bit, is he nervous? Did you actually make someone feel that way because of you?

“Yes”, you tell him, biting back a smile and blushing, he smiles at you sighing in relief.

He stands up and reaches his hand out to you.

“Then, shall we take a walk? I have a long way to make you fall for me”, he bites his bottom lip, waiting for you to take his hand.

This is it, the first step for you to get over Han Jisung.

Han sees Lia's lips move but he can't actually hear what she's saying, every word you said the last time, keeps sounding on his mind like a bloody curse.

What would he have done if he had known sooner? Would he have liked you back? Surely not, after all these years he didn't feel anything romantically related towards you, but that may be because he never thought about you in that way. Would he have told you to move on?

"Are you listening?" Jisung hears Lia say and snaps out of his thoughts.

"Yes, of course", he lies, giving her a slight smile and grabbing her hand to squeeze it.

"You're just… acting strange, since you came back from your parent’s house", she frowns.

"It's nothing, I just… had an argument with y/n and now she's mad at me", he tells a half truth.

"I'm sure she's going to forgive you", Lia says, sympathetically, "you're best friends after all"

Han nods, sighing.

He had avoided telling her the whole situation with you, it could make her insecure since you two live together.

There's something different too, he just doesn't feel the same way about her anymore, the burning flame and excitement he felt when they first started going out is slowly dying down and he just doesn't know what to do anymore.

All his previous relationships ended up because he was too busy, or because his personality didn't actually match with the other person, sometimes the girl he was dating just felt uncomfortable about his friendship with you, but he couldn't end years of friendship because he was dating so he ended the relationship.

However, Lia is different. She's great and confident, she doesn't care that he lives with you because she trusts him. She's calm, her personality is nice, she's nice. So why? Why is he feeling like this suddenly? Why is he wavering when it comes to starting this new relationship?

When he gets to practice after a weekend of resting, he is still confused, however, he's trying his best to stay focused on their new album, music is the only thing he is sure of in his life right now.

It's half past the time practice should start and Seungmin is not there yet, after one more song he asks Bangchan about it, he's starting to get worried, what if something happened to you?

“Oh, don't worry about it, he's just interviewing his roommate prospect”, Chan answers.

Han freezes. Then, that means you're going back home?

------------------

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

Taglist(I won't be tagging people without age in their profile or blank blogs in my content)

@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @seungminsapuppy @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98

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muffinpink02 · 6 months

Text

Co-Host

Leah and Lucy have never got on. An event they both attend brings them a little bit closer. Do they start to see things eye to eye? God I hate summary's.

Chapters 1 of 4 part 2 here

Warnings - Smut, all the good stuff

Lucy is a friendly person, she gets on with most people she meets. She’s easy going, she isn’t an in your face kind of person, she keeps herself to herself. She’s respectful to others, and even if she didn’t agree with something, she would still be able to get along with the person in a friendly manner.

But there was one person Lucy didn’t get on with, and her name is Leah Williamson.

Lucy and Leah’s dislike for each other started a couple years back. The hatred started when they first played against each other in Leah’s first over 21’s game.

The girls had never officially met prior to the game. Though Leah had already heard about Lucy, she was becoming a known name within women’s football. Lucy had a couple years on Leah, and if Leah was honest she was a bit nervous to play against her. She had heard how good she was and how hard she was to get past on the pitch.

It had gone half time and the game was getting to Leah. She had barely touched the ball and when she did, the defender was always hot on her heels. Lucys team was up by 3.

7 minutes into the second half and Leah finally had possession of the ball. She was clear, nobody was in her way. She could see the goal keeper trying to work out where she was going to shoot. She could practically taste the goal, until she felt a strong body next to hers. Lucy was able to get the ball back with no issue, she hardly even touched the blonde. Lucy cleared the ball away, and Leah lost it. She didn’t think about what she was doing. She tackled Lucy, hard. She knew the ball was gone. She could have easily stopped herself, but her anger got the better of her. She went in hard with her right foot, against the defender’s shin.

As soon as she heard the brunette cry out she regretted it. Lucy was rolling on the floor, holding her leg, she could see the pain in her face. She knew it was a stupid thing to do. The ref blew her whistle and held up a red card.

She heard the boo’s from the crowd. She then felt someone shove her, it was Jordan Nobbs. “What are you playing at?” She was in Leah’s face now, pure anger in her voice.

Her own teammates got in-between them. The ref came over and told Leah to leave the pitch. It all happened so fast. She could feel the dread in her stomach. She looked again at the brunette. She saw tears in the defenders eyes, the medics were beside her in seconds.

Lucy had to miss two games because of the injury. And she never got an apology from the girl. Leah was suspended for 3 games.

After the game Leah’s manager didn’t hold back. She told her how stupid it was, how it affects the team, even how she could have ruined the other players life with an injury, and everything else to make her feel bad. Even a few of her team mates made a few comments. Lucy had played with these girls in previous teams so they probably had some kind of friendship with her.

Since then they couldn’t stand each other. For Lucy it was the sheer lack of respect Leah had for her. Leah knew she did wrong that day. The shame of what she did turned into embarrassment, that then turned into anger and resentment towards the defender.

Over the years it always got heated on the pitch when they played against each other. There would be a pull of the shirt here, and stepping on an ankle there. It was a known fact that they couldn’t stand each other. Some people joked that they needed to have it out in the boxing ring.

—————-

“Yeah the green looks good!” Georgia was on Lucy’s phone screen, the girls decided to FaceTime each other to get the approval of what they were wearing for the charity event.

Lucy and many other players had been invited to a charity event in London. It was a charity to help children get into sports all over the world. A lot of big names were going to be at the event, so she wanted to look good. Thankfully some of the England squad were going, it was always easier at these things when you knew a few faces. She messaged Georgia, Ella, Alessia and Keira to see what they were wearing. And that’s how she came to have Georgias face on her phone.

Lucy stood in her floor length mirror, looking at herself. She knew she could rock a suit, but dahm she looked good in this one. “Yeah I think I’ll go with this one.” She pushed her glasses back up her nose and smiled at herself.

She took a few photos and sent them to the group chat with Georgia, Keira, Alessia and Ella. She got responses quickly.

Ella - Yessss Bronze!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥 FITTT

Georgia - 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 DRIP

Keira - Nice!! 👌 ❤️

Alessia - Love it Lucy!!! You look good 😍😍

Lucy was happy to get the approval from her friends. They also sent their outfits photos, to which they all looked good, and Lucy hyped them up just the same.

A few hours later Lucy was in her home gym. The brunette was working out a sweat on her punch bag. Thats when she got a call from her agent. She pulled off one of her gloves straps with her teeth. She answered it, loud speaker on.

“Hey Lucy! Can you talk? Is it a bad time?”

Lucy breathed hard, wiping the sweat from her four head with her arm. “Hi Lisa, no, all good, I’m just working out. What’s up?”

Lisa sounded weird, like she was excited but there was a slight off tone to it. “Oh, great. Well I was just calling to let you know the organisers at the charity event wants you to announce one of the awards.”

Lucy wasn’t surprised by the request, she was an ambassador for a charity herself.

“Yeah, sounds good. It’s not a long speech is it?”

“No, no. Just a quick award, the usual..”

Lucy could hear there was something else in Lisa voice, she had heard it before when giving Lucy bad news. “What’s wrong Lisa?”

Lisa waited a few seconds before answering. “They want you to present the award with someone.”

Lucy scrunched her face in confusion, why would that be a problem?

“Right, that’s fine? Isn’t that what happens most of the time? Who’s it with?”

Lisa once again fell silent. “….They want you to do the award with Leah Williamson.”

Lucy stopped mid stretch.

“Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking? Why would they do that?”

Lisa scoffed, “Probably to make it seem like even they can bring two mortal enemies together with the power of charity.” Lucy could hear the sarcasm in Lisa’s voice.

The brunette shut her eyes in frustration and took a deep breath through her nose. “Well I’m just gong to have to do it, I don’t need to talk to the girl.”

Lisa sounded relieved. “Thank god. I’ll tell them you’ll do it. It’ll be fine, you don’t need to be best friends. Anyways, I’ll let you go, I’ll send you more details once I have them.”

Lucy started to fit the boxing glove back to her left hand. “Okay, sounds good. Talk to you later.”

Lisa ended the call. Lucy went back to her boxing bag. At least she’ll have something to focus her anger while boxing now.

2 weeks had passed and tonight was the charity event. Lucy was getting ready in her room. She had gone for light natural make up and was rocking her green suit with a clean white vest top that showed off her abs through the thin fabric and a pair of white Nike air max to finish it off. Her hair in her signature bun.

She was trying not to think about the fact that she was going to have to share the stage with Leah tonight. The last 2 weeks the her teammates had joked about the situation. They even had bets on who would win in a fight, Lucy was more than pissed that 4 of the girls on the team actually picked Leah.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when a text came through.

Alessia - outside x

Lucy had a car picking her up for the event, luckily Alessia lived close by so they were able to go to the event together. Lucy took one more look in her mirror and made her way outside. She was more than relieved to have Alessia with her. She opened the door to see the striker in a beautiful gold dress.

“Hey Luce! Oh my god, you look even better in real life! I love the suit.”

Lucy smiled, she loved it when Alessia hyped her up, it always seemed so genuine.

“Thanks Russo. You look stunning, gold really suits you.”

Alessia smiled at the compliment, she actually seemed shy from the comment. “Thank you Luce. I’m looking forward to tonight, there’s going to be an after party!”

Lucy smiled at her teammate, she loved how enthusiastic she was being, it made her think tonight wasn’t going to be too bad. They chatted all the way to the event, even taking some selfies. They arrived to a sea of photographers, flashing lights everywhere. Lucy would never get used to this part of the job. Photo shoots she could live with, but this was always a whole other world. She was just thankful to have someone with her.

She felt Alessia touch her back. A gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone. They made their way through the sea of flashing lights. They finally caught up with their teammates. They grabbed a sofa area before they could sit at their assigned seats.

Ella was sitting next to Lucy on the sofa, she nudged Lucy with her elbow. Lucy turned to see why Ella was bugging her. She smirked at Lucy and nodded her head to the direction in front of her.

“Eh up, it’s your co-host Bronze. Wow, she looks hot.”

Lucy looked in the direction Ella had nodded to, and she was right. There stood Leah, she was chatting to a TV host Lucy recognised but couldn’t tell you the name of. Lucy screwed up her face at the ‘hot’ comment. “Oi, whose side are you on? You can’t say she’s hot.”

Ella laughed and looked back at the blonde “Na sorry Luce, she does look hot, you have eyes, you can’t say she doesn’t look good.” The other girls had now taken interest in the conversation and looked around to see for themselves.

Keira was first to comment. “Oh yeah, she does look good. I knew she was fit but wow.” Lucy curled up her lip in disbelief. “Erm, sorry did we forget we don’t like her?” A smile crept of her face and the girls and Lucy laughed.

She did take a look at the blonde herself and the girls weren’t wrong, she did look good, Lucy could easily admit that. Leah was wearing a black dress that hugged her at the best bits, a high opening at the top of her thigh, exposing a bit of skin, and gold heels to finish it off. Her hair was down and straight. Lucy couldn’t take her eyes off her.

They were finally able to sit at their assigned seats. All the girls were together, with a few other names on their table. Ella was making small talk about football with Rylan Clarke and Lucy and the others stayed on their phones. They had been to events like this before and they could be a little boring, so no one judged you for having a scroll through your phone.

Lucy had a few glasses of Prosecco to give her some Dutch courage. It’s not like she was shaking in her seat with nerves but it always made it easier having a few bubbles in you, she also wasn’t sure how this was going to go with Leah. They hadn’t even acknowledged each other since they arrived.

Half an hour later a member of staff came to collect Lucy. The girls wished her luck. She was feeling fine, the alcohol was definitely helping, she wasn’t drunk but felt warm and light. She was ushered back stage where she found Leah already waiting. The blonde gave her a tight smile and nod, Lucy returned it. She couldn’t help but notice how good the blonde looked. They had at least 5 minutes before they had to walk on stage. Lucy was listening to the other presenters on stage, trying not to make it anymore awkward than it already was.

“I can’t do it.”

Lucy turned around to a pale looking Leah. She looked like a deer in headlights

“What?”

“I can’t do this, I’m freaking out. God I knew I should have just said no.” Leah was starting to panic, she could feel her hands shaking.

She bent forward hands on her knees the girl looked liked she was about to be sick. Lucy gingerly stepped forward to Leah, she put her hand out to touch Leah’s back but thought better of it.

Leah wanted the floor to swallow her whole, she couldn’t believe she was having a breakdown in front of Lucy. Of all people.

Lucy wasn’t really sure what to do. She didn’t know Leah, she didn’t have the best relationship with the girl. Now she was having a meltdown, moments before they were meant to be on live television. She would be more than happy to go out alone if she needed to.

Leah stood up she looked like she was about to cry. For some reason seeing Leah close to tears stirred something inside of the brunette. She didn’t like the girl but she didn’t want to see her like this either.

Leah could feel her eyes watering, she was in full panic now.

“Leah it’s okay. You can do this, you’ve had bigger audiences than this, this is nothing for you.” Lucy was sure that would be enough.

Leah puffed out her cheeks, a tear falling from her eye. “God, sorry, I can’t believe I’m crying in front of you.” Lucy couldn’t believe Leah was this nervous. Their history was pushed aside for a moment.

Lucy took Leah by the shoulders. Leah was clearly taken aback by the touch and tensed up under Lucy’s hands. “Hey, look, I know this isn’t the easiest of things, I get it. I hated doing things like this before. But you are Leah fucking Williamson, one of the best football players out there, what do you have to be nervous about?”

Leah wiped her eye and chuckled. “Wow, I did not ever expect to hear those words come out of your mouth.” She could feel Lucy’s strong hands on her bare skin. She was close enough to smell her perfume. It smelt like a perfume Leah had of her own. The touch distracted her for a split second from her worries. She also couldn’t believe Lucy had said she thought she was a good football player.

Lucy smiled, she was happy to see she got the girl to laugh, Lucy once again couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful the girl was up close. She felt her tension leave her shoulders.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. Look, if you want I can do all the talking, you can read out the winner? Or you can just come out? I’m easy.” Lucy stepped back, letting go of the blonde.

Leah sniffled and took a deep breath, dabbing the corners of her eyes lightly, trying not to mess up her make up. “Could you maybe do the talking, and we read out the winner together?…If thats okay?” Lucy couldn’t help but notice how weak her voice sounded.

“No, that’s all good with me. Don’t worry you’ll be fine. Just breathe through it.” Lucy gave her a small smile.

Leah gave her a genuine smile back. Before any more could be said a young girl from the stage crew came over, with a headset on. “Hey ladies, okay, your cues will be in front of you on the projector with your names. Make sure to smile and no swearing.” She smiled and ushered them over to the side of the stage. She looked to be listening to someone in her ear. “I have Lucy and Leah now, they are clear to go.” Lucy then heard their names being called out on the speakers by a pre recorded voice, the lady smiled and gestured for them to go on stage.

Lucy started to walk, she could hear the audience clapping. She then felt a hand hook around her arm. Lucy looked around to see Leah attached to her. Leah smiled at her almost pleading her not move her arm away, she clearly needed the support.

Leah didn’t realise she had reached out to Lucy. She needed to feel something close to her, she needed something to ground her. Lucy smiled and carried on walking, she pulled Leah closer to her without thinking twice. As soon as Lucy pulled the girl closer, Leah felt like she could breathe again.

Lucy read out all the script, like she said she would, still feeling Leah attached to her arm. They read out the winner together, still noticing how small Leah’s voice was. They congratulated the winner and walked off the stage, Leah walking close by her side.

Another crew member came over, with a headset on his head. “Well done guys, could you follow me please.” They followed the young boy back stage and back down to the floor. Lucy was first to get to her table, and before she could do or say anything, the boy ushered Leah back to her own table. Leah looked like she was about to say something but was quickly rushed by the crew member.

Lucy stood with her back to the table, she watched Leah go to her own table. She turned to see her teammates were staring at her like she had grown two heads.

“What?…is there something on my face?” Panic set in thinking she had done something embarrassing. She slowly sat down, eyes still on her, but no one was talking.

“What’s wrong? What did I do? Did I say the names wrong?”

Ella spoke first. “What was that about?” She nodded her head towards Leah’s table. Ella smiled. “Are you two best friends now?”

Realisation kicked in. Lucy laughed. How was she going to explain this? She wasn’t going to go into detail about Leah’s meltdown, friends or not she wasn’t someone who would talk about someone else behind their back. “She just needed a bit of help. No big deal.” The girls looked at each other, a few smiles and lost looks on their faces.

Georgia laughed. “Well, you looked good together.” The girls all laughed, Lucy laughed with them.

For a split second the comment had Lucy’s mind wonder to what it would be like to be with Leah in more ways than one.

She was interrupted by her thoughts when Keira jumped in. “You did well up there Lucy.” Keira smiled a genuine smile at her and raised her glass. Alessia was pouring Lucy a new glass to drink. The girls all raised their glasses. “To Lucy!” Shouted Ella. They all cheersed and took a drink from their glasses.

“Awww thanks guys.” The girls went into their own conversations. Lucy looked around the room, spotting a few famous faces she recognised, another part of the job she still hadn’t gotten used to. She turned to the right of her, and caught a pair blue eyes watching her. Leah’s blue eyes.

Leah quickly looked away, trying her hardest to act like she hadn’t just been caught in 4k.

Lucy looked back at her drink, smiling to herself as she took a sip of her Prosecco.

Leah kicked herself internally. She had been watching Lucy for a while, and she knew she should have stoped after the first 5 minutes, but she couldn’t help it. When Leah first saw Lucy tonight, she had to pick her mouth up from the ground. Lucy looked really fucking good in her green suit. Leah could see Lucy’s 6 pack through her fitted white t shirt she could have sworn she dribbled. Then seeing her up close backstage didn’t help, she made her more nervous than she already was.

She felt like she could still feel Lucy’s hands on her shoulders, she made her feel so relaxed, just the touch alone calmed her breathing. Don't get her wrong, she knew Lucy didn’t like her or even looked at her in any other way than an enemy. But Leah could still appreciate a good looking woman when she saw one, and she thought that every time she had the pleasure of seeing Lucy. On or off the pitch.

The awards finished and the girls made their way to the after party all in one car. It wasn’t far from the first event. They pulled up to a bar that had a night club underground. They jumped out of the car and were escorted straight in. The DJ was already playing the right kind of music to get you dancing. They were escorted to a reserved table with a few different bottles of drink in ice. They poured what they wanted and made themselves comfy.

More people started drifting in from the charity event and the bar become full. There were a few other girls from different teams on the dance floor. It was mostly athletes at this event as it was a sports charity, so Lucy could spot a few of the other girls out. She also spotted a certain blonde in the middle of the dance floor. Looking a lot more calmer than she did earlier. Ella and Georgia decided they wanted to dance, they made their way to dance floor but not without dragging Lucy down with them.

The girls laughed at Lucy pretending to not want to go, but Lucy didn’t put up a fight, she was the first the start dancing once they got to the dance floor. The other two joined them and all 5 of them were dancing under the strobe lights. After a half hour Lucy made her way to the toilets. She felt the effects of the alcohol hitting her a bit more, after leaving the hot room of bodies.

As she left the toilet stall she was met with Leah’s blue eyes staring back at her in the mirror. She stoped in her tracks for a quick second and made her way to the sink. Leah seemed to be doing something with her make up. She gave a small smile to the girl, and received a tight lipped smile back from Leah, it looked like it hurt her to do it.

Leah nearly dropped her lipgloss when she saw Lucy in the mirror. Lucy was making Leah nervous anytime she was close, she didn’t even have to be talking to her. Just her presence alone was enough.

Lucy wasn’t sure if she should really say anything, it felt more awkward than ever, she preferred it when there was a mutual hatred. The thing is Lucy didn’t hate Leah, she thought she was rude, a bit of a show off but she never hated her. She respected her as a football player, she was being honest when she told Leah she thought she was one of the best. However, if Leah was still going to be cold towards Lucy, even after earlier then she could simply fuck off.

Leah’s brain was in over drive trying to think of something to say. Her mouth became completely dry. She kept glancing at the brunette. Hoping to strike up any conversation.

Lucy gave herself a once over in the mirror before finishing up, and made her way towards the door.

“Thanks.”

Lucy’s paused in her tracks, hand on the door. Did she just hear that right? She turned to see Leah facing her. Lucy raised her eyebrows. She heard Leah but she wanted her to say it again. “Pardon?”

Leah looked at her shoes, clearly finding it hard to resist an eye roll. Lucy smiled internally. Leah looked back up at the defender and took a big breath. “Thank you for earlier. I’m - I’m not the best with all that stuff. Sorry you had to do it all.”

Lucy was shocked, she didn’t think she was going to get a thank you from the girl. She knew that must have taken a lot for Leah, she wasn’t going to gloat or be a dick about it. She smiled at the blonde in front of her. “That’s okay, I could see it was bothering you, it’s nothing.”

Lucy’s smile was becoming a big weakness for Leah.

Leah looked like she relaxed a little, and looked back at Lucy. “Also, sorry for holding on to you. I don’t really know what happened there.”

Lucy smiled her brilliant toothy smile, almost verging on flirty. “Ah that’s okay, don’t apologise for that, I didn’t mind.”

Leah smiled at Lucy with a shy smile, Lucy once again noticing how naturally beautiful the girl was. An awkward silence fell over them. Leah pushed her hair back behind her ear, looking around the room. Lucy was about to do them both a favour and wish Leah a good night but Leah wanted to keep talking.

“I like your suit by the way. Green really suits you. It goes with your eyes.”

Fuck, fuck. Fuck….why did you say that.

Lucy didn’t expect that, and she must have made that clear on her face. Leah looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole. In one way Lucy liked seeing Leah squirm, it wasn’t something you saw often on Leah, it was just fun seeing her little pretty face go into panic mode. She’d seen Leah pull a few of these new faces tonight, and she was secretly loving it.

Lucy smirked, and she made sure it was flirty this time. She looked Leah up and down with just enough tease in her eyes. “Erm, thank you. I didn’t know you were looking at me so hard.”

And for the second time that night Leah was a deer in headlights. “Erm - I - I -, sorry, I just like your suit…and I saw your eyes were green, and - and… yeah, wow.” Leah looked like she was about combust. Lucy couldn’t watch her crumble anymore.

Lucy gave out a low chuckle. “Chill Leah, I’m joking. Thank you. You look really, really nice tonight, that dress is beautiful on you.” Lucy knew what she was doing, and was loving what it was doing to Leah.

Leah gave a small laugh, clearly feeling a little shy, from Lucy’s comment and her own comments. She pushed her hair back once more behind her ear. “Thank you.”

Silence fell over them again, Leah grabbed her bag and pointed towards the door. “I better go, the girls are probably wondering where I am.”

She walked towards the door and Lucy opened it for her. She could smell Leah’s sandalwood perfume, a lot like the one Lucy where’s. Lucy watched as the girl walked past her.

“Oh thanks.” Leah smiled shyly up at Lucy.

Lucy smiled back. “No worries.”

She watched the blonde go past and couldn’t help but have a cheeky look at her arse. She knew Leah had a good arse, but she only ever saw it before in football shorts, the dress was doing wonders.

The night went on. Lucy was with her small squad, all the girls was having a good time, many pictures were taken. Lucy posted a few to her story. She posted a picture of her alone, pouring a drink. Her abs were noticeable even through her white T-shirt. She knew she looked good, she knew her stomach looked good and yeah, she wanted to show it off.

Lucy would be lying if she wasn’t trying to look for a certain blonde in the crowd, but she hadn’t seen her since their toilet encounter. To say Lucy wasn’t a bit confused with the night would be an understatement. To be honest she didn’t hate the change in dynamics, she didn’t really like the rivalry between her and Leah. She hated that the press would even make it a topic to write about.

The night got later and the guest started to leave. The girls also called it a night. They had a car waiting for them outside. The event team had booked rooms for the girls at the hotel back where the charity event was held. It was 2 girls per room and Lucy got the long straw of having her own room.

On the way back to the hotel Lucy scrolled through her insta. She noticed a new name on her notifications. She smiled at her phone, seeing Leah Williamson name pop up. She had liked her latest post.

“Aye up, who’s got you smiling?” Georgia was sat opposite Lucy in their taxi.

Lucy looked up at Georgia, she really was like an annoying little sister sometimes. She closed her screen phone, but Keira had already seen what she was smiling at. Lucy smiled and shock her head. “Nothing, just a funny meme.”

Georgia wouldn’t drop it though. “Oh what a liar! Who is it then?”

“Erm you have a cheek.” Keira jumped in. “Wasn’t you flirting with that netball player all night? Shall we talk about that?”

Georgia smirked, and suddenly the view outside was more interesting than the conversation. All the girls laughed including Georgia.

“Mate, you are so red.” Ella laughed at Georgia. The girls started talking about the night and events that happened, questioning Georgia on her affairs.

Lucy caught eyes with Keira and thanked her with a smile. She loved the girls but they could definitely be relentless sometimes.

They finally arrived at the hotel. The girls got in the lift giggling at something Alessia said. They were all a little drunk, nothing too crazy but the drunk kind, when the most stupid thing is the more hilarious thing.

“Right, this is me. I’ll see you guys in the morning for breakfast.”

Lucy was on the floor below her teammates.

“Noooo, let’s keep this going. Drinks in my room.” Georgia pleaded.

“Night Luce, see you tomorrow.” Keira looked stressed to be sharing a room with Georgia.

“No way, I’m off. Good luck Keira. Night all.”

The doors shut on Georgia’s protest.

Lucy walked the hallway to her room, she turned the corner to see a woman standing with her back to her. As she turned around she was met with those blue eyes again. Once again those blue eyes were in a state of shock.

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?”

Leah couldn’t believe her luck. Katie decided to bring a girl back to their shared hotel room. She saw the sock on the door and nearly lost her shit. She couldn’t complain too hard though, she had done the same thing 2 months ago to Katie and she didn’t complain.

Seeing Lucy in front of her was a bit of a shock. She seemed to bump into the girl a lot tonight. Seeing Lucy made her feel lots of different things, she couldn’t put her finger on just one. But excited was definitely the first word she could think of, but why was she here?

“Going to my room?” Lucy said it with a tone of sarcasm. Lucy wasn’t that shocked to see Leah, most of the hotel was booked for the events guest tonight.

“What are you doing here? Why you standing in the hallway?”

Lucy walked towards her room. Leah was clearly stressed about something, she nodded towards a door down from Lucy’s. It had a sock on the door nob.

Lucy raised her eyebrows. “Oh. I see, who you sharing with?”

Leah put her arms around herself. “McCabe.”

Lucy nodded her head. “I haven’t seen that in a while.”

Leah pulled out her phone. “I’ll just have to book somewhere else. I can’t be asked to get into anything with her.”

The next words out of Lucy’s mouth wasn’t thought through, they came out before she even realised she said it.

“You can stay with me?”

Leah was the one to raise her eye brows this time. She clearly wasn’t expecting that from Lucy. She didn’t want to assume anything either. Lucy doesn’t like her like that, she was just trying to be nice. She probably just felt bad. But she could still feel the butterflies in her stomach.

It felt like a lifetime of silence before Leah replied. Lucy never had so many silent conversations in her life before tonight.

“No, god. I don’t want to put you out. I’ll just wait in reception or something.” Leah put her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, clearly annoyed at the thought of waiting around.

Lucy once again feeling bad for the blonde in front of her tonight, this was becoming a habit.

“No, come on. Why would you do that. I’m sure there’s a pull out sofa in there. You can go to your room when she’s done.”

Leah looked at Lucy. The brunette couldn’t work out the thoughts going through her head. She opened the door with the key card. “Come on, I won’t bite. Unless you like that kind of thing.” She winked at Leah and gave her one of her flirty smiles. She couldn’t help it.

Fuck, Leah nearly lost her legs. Lucy flirting was not something she thought she’d ever be in the presence of. The wink alone made her squirm.

Leah finally laughed. She rolled her eyes and walked toward the now open door. Lucy held it open for her. Lucy was having deja vu once again tonight.

It was a nice room, it had a king size bed and wall length windows that was over looking London. Lucy’s suitcase was in the middle of the room. Lisa would have got that there for her.

Lucy walked towards the windows, she loved the city at night. She turned around to see Leah standing in the middle of the room, looking lost.

Lucy cleared her throat. “So, how was your night?” She sat on the sofa near the window. She didn’t really know what to do with herself. A couple of hours ago Lucy was dreading having to share the stage with Leah, now she was standing in front of her in her hotel room. She seemed to have shared a lot of different moments with Leah tonight.

Leah played her with fingers. “Erm, yeah, bit of a weird one. But, it was good. Yours?”

Lucy chuckled, she had a feeling Leah was referring to all of their encounter’s tonight.

“Yeah, weird is one way of putting it.”

Silence fell over them once more. Lucy didn’t really understand it. Leah was so vocal on the pitch. She had seen her in action plenty of times. Even after matches, in her interviews she was confident and wanted to talk about her thoughts on the game. But the women in front of her seemed, scared.

“Shall we see what the mini bar is offering?”

Leah let out a breath. “Please.”

“Good, something we can agree on. Do you want to sit, get comfy.” She watched the girl take off her leather jacket and sat on the opposite side of the small round table.

She found a few bottles of small spirits and plenty of mixers. Even 4 bottles of small Prosecco. Thank god.

“Okay we have, spice rum, vodka, gin and some Prosecco, what do you fancy?”

Leah was looking out the window. “Oh erm, rums good for me. Thank you.”

“I’ll join you with the rum I think.”

Lucy started making their drinks. Just as she was finishing up, music started playing in her ears. She was confused, she looked over at Leah who had a timid smile on her face.

“Sorry, I connected my phone to the speakers. Do you mind?”

Lucy carried the drinks over to the table. “Oh no, not at all. We’re having our own little party.” She sat down opposite Leah, handing her, her drink. Leah took it, her fingers touching Lucy’s quickly. She thanked her with a small voice.

“So, please tell me this is as awkward for you as it is for me.” It was probably the drink in her system that allowed Lucy to have the word vomit, like she did earlier when she asked Leah to stay the night.

Leah laughed loudly. A genuine belly laugh, Lucy once again noticing the girls beauty was, especially when she laughed or smiled. Lucy smiled, she was glad the girl was laughing and not throwing hands.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I’m feeling it too.” Leah pushed her hair back behind her ear and took a sip of her drink.

“Look, I know we’re not the best of friends but you can chill. I’m not going to start having a got at you or anything.”

Leah’s a confident person, she’s confident in her football, she’s confident speaking her mind, she’s very confident with flirting and getting what or who she wanted. However Leah wasn’t great at public speaking but, when her agent told her who she’d be presenting with she changed her tune quickly.

For a while Leah has had a crush on the brunette, well since she kind of laid eyes on her. She wasn’t in love with the girl, she had eyes she could appreciate a good looking woman. She also respected Lucy a lot, as a person and footballer. But she never made it obvious, she kept the angry front up as it was much easier than being turned down by Lucy. For some reason Lucy made her nervous and tonight it really showed. She didn’t expect Lucy to be anything but cold towards her as that’s how it had always been. So when the girl was being kind to her back stage it threw her completely off, she couldn’t keep up the coldness towards her, she just nervous instead.

Leah took another sip of her drink, watching Lucy over the rim of her glass. It was the first time Lucy felt like the deer in head lights.

Leah cleared her throat and sat back in her seat a small smile on her face. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been on a bit of edge today.”

Lucy nodded her head. She could understand, these kind of event days could be a lot. Press, photographers meeting so many people.

“Yeah I get it, you don’t have to explain yourself.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Lucy wasn’t expecting that question.

“Not that I’m complaining, but we’ve never got on. You hate me, but you’ve been nothing but nice to me. I don’t get it.”

“Firstly, I don’t hate you Leah. Yeah we’ve never got on, but that’s because our first introduction to each other wasn’t great.”

Leah winced at that. Lucy wasn’t saying it in a harsh tone but what she was saying was true.

“I don’t know if you even remember but I never got an apology from you and it’s just kind of been tense since then. But I don’t hate you. I really respect you as a footballer and what you do for your club.”

Lucy took a long swig of her drink.

Leah’s shoulders slumped, she looked down at the floor, Lucy could see she felt bad.

“Well, I know it’s been a while since our first game but would you accept my apology now?”

Lucy smiled. “Yeah. Yeah I would.”

Leah smiled an easy smile back. “Lucy, I’m genuinely really sorry for how I acted on that first game. In all honesty I was terrified to play against you. I lost my temper that day and I was childish and stupid. I have regretted everyday since then that I didn’t apologise to you sooner.” She sat forward in her chair and put her hand on Lucy’s thigh. “I am truly sorry for how I acted that day, and every match we’ve had together since. I really am sorry.” She finished with a deep breath.

Leah took a long swig of her glass, finishing her drink.

Lucy was shocked at the sincereness of Leah, she could tell the girl meant it.

Lucy smiled her famous smile and raised her glass towards Leah.

“To new beginnings.”

The blonde smiled back, more tension looked liked it left her shoulders. She raised her glass.

“To new beginnings.”

They clinked their glasses together.

Lucy took a drink from her glass, looking at Leah over the rim of her glass. Leah looking right back at her. It became quiet again but it didn’t feel awkward. “Hang on, you need another drink.”

“I do. It’s okay I’ll make them. Same again?”

Lucy handed Leah her glass. Fingers touching once again. “Please.”

An hour later and 3 more drinks in. The room was worm. Leah’s music was still playing. It felt like an intimate party between the pair of them. The girls were a lot more comfortable now. Lucy had taken off her suit jacket. Leah had taken off her heels. They were now sitting on the small sofa together. Their knees kept knocking and touching one another but nobody moved to give the other space. Both girls belly laughing over something Lucy said.

“And that’s why I don’t eat pickles anymore.”

Leah wiped a tear from her eye, and put her hand on Lucy’s thigh. “Oh my god. I can’t believe it. That’s so funny.”

For the 100th time that night, Lucy caught herself staring at Leah. She couldn’t believe this time 12 hours ago she was dreading being near the girl, and now she was cracking jokes with her.

“God, I can’t believe I’m actually sitting in Lucy Bronze’s hotel room at 1 in the morning.”

Lucy put her hand to her own chest and faked a gasp. “Sorry? What’s so wrong with being in my hotel room?”

Leah laughed. Her hand still on Lucy’s thigh. “No, not like that. I know a lot of girls that would kill to be me right now.”

Lucy snorted. “Nope, you’ve hurt me Leah. I’ve done nothing but help you today and this is what I get.”

Leah squeezed Lucy’s thigh, laughing. “No. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. I swear.”

Lucy couldn’t help herself, her flirty smile came out to play. “Oh is that so? So you do want to be in my hotel room at 1 in the morning, are you one of the girls you’re talking about?” Lucy took a sip of her drink laughing in her glass.

“Maybe.” Leah bit her lower lip, before raising her own glass to her mouth, still giggling.

The girls were tipsy at this point, but not drunk. They knew what they were saying was dangerous but not enough to get them in trouble.

Lucy wasn’t going to stop the flirting, she liked this new dynamic between them. Lucy had been checking Leah out all night, and Leah wasn’t innocent either.

“I bet McCabe isn’t even in there. I bet you put that sock there. You just wanted to be in my room.” Lucy laughed.

Leah now faked a fake gasp. “Right, I’ll go then you clearly don’t want me in your room. I’ll see if she’s done.”

Leah went to sit up but Lucy grabbed her by her waist pulling her back down. “No, don’t go.”

She fell half on Lucy’s lap, half on the sofa, face on, half straddling Lucy’s thigh.

Both girls laughter slowed down. Lucy still had her arm around Leah. She slowly looked up, face to face with the blonde. She no longer looked like a deer in headlights but more like a cat that got its milk. The air became thick. They had been playing on the fine line of flirting most of the night and now she had Leah sitting in her lap.

Leah was the first one to lean forward. Lucy kept her eyes on Leah’s blue ones, and slowly lowered her eyes on Leah’s glossed lips. Licking her own subconsciously. The only other time Lucy had been this close to Leah’s face was at a match when things got heated. Now that took a whole other meaning.

Leah looked at Lucy for any kind of sign to stop. Lucy could feel it. She gave Leah the smallest of nods. The blonde closed the gap between their mouths slowly.

Leah’s mouth tasted like vanilla and mint, Lucy instantly loved the flavour. Leah’s lips felt so much softer than Lucy could have imagined, and she had imagined them a lot tonight. She let Leah control the pace of their movements. The younger girl moved back slightly, just inches away from Lucy’s mouth. “Is this okay? Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m fine, are you? Do you want to stop?”

“No, not drunk and I definitely don’t want to stop.

Lucy nodded, and leaned in to Leah’s lips, she was already missing the feeling of them. The blonde girl shifted her body so she could straddle Lucy properly.

Lucy snaked her hands up Leah’s now bare thighs, her dressed had hitched up to her waist, giving Lucy all the access she wanted.

Leah pushed herself forward and placed her hands behind Lucy’s head, pinning her to the sofa. The brunette squeezed Leah’s thighs causing her to gasp. Lucy took the opportunity to push her tongue deep into Leah’s mouth causing the younger girl to moan.

Lucy could feel Leah smiling into the kiss. Lucy had kissed a few girls in her time but there was something about kissing Leah that made her head spin, every move she made was perfect. She felt her tongue caressing her bottom lip, sucking it into her own mouth. Lucy could feel herself getting wet.

Leah had control over their movements with the position she was in. She started to grind her hips into Lucy’s, this time Lucy was the one to gasp. Leah began to kiss down the brunette's neck, Lucy was more than willing to let Leah take her as she pleased. She slowly kissed every inch of Lucy’s neck before she moved to her throat, sucking hard on one spot. Lucy’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, pleasure taking over her.

“Fuck, Leah.”

If Leah’s tongue felt this good on her neck imagine the other places she would feel better at. When Leah was happy with the mark she left on Lucy’s tanned skin she took one long lick, gliding her wet tongue up Lucy’s neck, gliding to her ear. Lucy’s hands squeezed Leah’s thighs again, not being able to control her movements.

Leah was loving the control she had over Lucy, Seeing the older girl melt for her just over her kissing was making her ego grow ten times over. Leah gasped from Lucy’s touch once again, her strong hands close to where she needed her most. She moved her hands from the sofa into Lucy’s dark hair, pulling her head back with a gentle tug. Giving her full access to her mouth.

Lucy easily let Leah control her. The blonde took the opportunity to lick into Lucy’s mouth. Lucy loved the movements Leah was doing with her tongue. Her hips grinded up into the blonde, Leah smiled down devilishly at Lucy.

Leah was dominating the kissing, Lucy’s head was spinning. She started to rub her thumbs dangerously close to Leah’s very wet underwear. Leah released Lucy’s hair and started to grind with more purpose, though she had nothing to grind on. Lucy could tell she was becoming frustrated, she glided her right hand up to Leah’s toned thigh. She felt the fabric of Leah’s underwear, she could tell it was lace straight away. Her personal favourite.

She lowered her hand right where Leah needed her, she could feel the heated damp patch between her legs. Leah let out a moan from the first touch. Lucy studied Leah’s face, she was even more beautiful up close. Leah started to grind on Lucy’s hand, trying to get any friction that she could find.

Lucy didn’t want to waste anymore time, she wanted to feel Leah, she pulled her underwear to the side and glided her fingers through Leah’s soaking wet lips. The younger girl let out a glorious moan, her hips grinding harder. Lucy couldn’t believe how wet Leah was already, it made her head grow 5 times the size. She glided her finger up to Leah’s clit, and gently back down, wanting to explore the girl above. “Someone’s wet.” Lucy’s voice was low and cocky.

Leah whimpered, hearing Lucy talk in her like this was sinful, hearing the teasing in her tone. Feeling Lucy touching every part of her sensitive flesh was driving her mad. Leah didn’t want to lose the control over their rhythm, she wanted to be the one in charge but that was slowly slipping.

“Tell me what you want.” Lucy was kissing Leah’s neck as her fingers kept playing with her velvet lips, slowly circling her clit every few seconds.

“I want you inside, fuck me. Please.”

Lucy’s fingers were soaked with Leah’s own juices. She slid a single finger in with no resistance. Fuck she felt good.

Leah moaned low into Lucy’s ear, the brunette was loving every second of hearing the girls moan. She added a second finger. Leah was tight, she could feel her pussy walls pulling her in. She started to pump, moving with Leah’s hips. It wasn’t the best position but she would make it work. The blonde was panting hard into her neck. Lucy thought Leah was beautiful before, but seeing her like this was something completely different. She looked like a work of art, a work of art getting fucked.

“Do you know how good you look Leah?”

She kept pumping. Leah lifted her head looking down at Lucy. Her muscular arms were on show, watching her flex from each stroke made Leah’s pussy walls flex, and Lucy could feet it.

Lucy snaked her other hand up to Leah’s thigh, moving past her thongs and straight to her swollen clit, making small circle motions. Leah’s mouth gapped open, Lucy couldn't but stare at the girl above in awe.

“Oh my god Lucy, don’t stop. You feel amazing. Don’t stop.”

Lucy didn’t once take her eyes off of Leah, she was mesmerised by the sight. She took a quick bite of Leah’s neck, causing Leah to whimper. “I got you Leah, I won’t stop. You feel so good, you’re so fucking tight.”

Leah loved Lucy’s words, she could feel her own legs shaking. She could feel she was close. She leaned down and kissed Lucy hard. She wanted to feel her lips when she came.

“Kiss me Luce, don’t stop kissing me.”

Lucy didn’t complain. She kissed Leah back just like she asked, she could feel Leah getting close, she didn’t once stop her movements.

Leah was feeling the glorious coil in her stomach. Lucy’s tongue was deep in her mouth, sucking on her tongue. Leah felt like she couldn’t breathe in the best way possible, she was surrounded by Lucy. She started to make short little gasps, her climax was just on the cusp. Leah took control of the kissing and sucked in Lucy’s tongue, causing the girl to moan in her mouth. It pushed her over the ledge she’d been sitting on all day.

Leah moaned loud as she came. Her pussy flexed against Lucy’s fingers, her body shook hard. Her mouth was still attached to Lucy’s lips. Lucy watched Leah like a hawk, making sure to follow every movement to help guide her orgasm.

Leah’s eyes were closed, she leaned her four head against Lucy’s, breathing hard. When she finally opened her eyes, she was met with dark green ones staring back at her. A shy smile crept on Leah’s face. Did that really just happen?

Lucy slowly pulled out of Leah, the blonde groaned from the loss. She sat back, on Lucy’s legs.

But Leah wasn’t done there. She took Lucy’s hand that had been in-between her legs, she saw her two fingers glistening with her juices. She slowly raised Lucy’s hand to her lips, gently kissing them with her swollen kissed lips. Lucy’s breathing quickened, she knew what Leah was going to do and she could feel herself getting wet.

Leah gently licked Lucy’s wet fingers, gliding her tongue, making sure Lucy could see every inch of what her tongue could do. Lucy didn’t blink. She didn’t want to miss a second of this. Watching Leah’s long tongue glide across her skin was magical.

“Fuck…” Lucy breathed out.

Leah slowly sucked in Lucy’s fingers, she was showing off for Lucy, she wanted to be the one in control. She was loving that Lucy looked like she was about to melt on the floor. She looked down at the brunette, she looked so fucking good, her once neat her was now tussled, her white vest top had ridden up just a bit so you could see the bottom of her abs. You could see her muscular stomach through the white vest top as she breathed. Leah was in a trance looking at the brunette.

She released Lucy’s fingers with a loud pop. She slowly climbed off her thighs and stepped back. She unclipped the back of her black dress, it fell to the floor around her feet.

Lucy’s mouth gapped open.

The brunette had seen glimpses of Leah’s stomach when on the pitch. She knew she had a stunning body but she’s always wondered what the rest of her looked like. The thing is Lucy had a little secret. She had crushed on Leah for a little while. It was a weird feeling to crush on your ‘enemy’ she brought out the best and worst parts of Lucy on the pitch, and it had caused Lucy to want to know the girl more. In many different ways. But to have Leah Williamson standing in front of you, in nothing but a pair of laced black thongs and a a see through bra to match, was breathtaking.

Leah sunk to her knees, in-between Lucy’s spread legs. She reached for Lucy’s trousers unbuttoning them, bitting her bottom lip. She tugged at Lucy’s trousers, trying to make a point that she needed them off. Lucy’s brain finally caught up. She stood up to remove her bottoms but Leah got there first. She slowly dragged her suit trousers down to her ankles, her girl boxers following right behind.

Lucy was wet.

Leah was proud.

She had Lucy Bronze, a woman that so many players looked up to. So many players were intimidated by, standing in front of her, soaking wet for her. Her chest swelled. She gently started kissing Lucy’s thighs, she could hear Lucy breathing above her. She guided Lucy to sit back on the sofa, she got herself comfortable in-between Lucy’s legs.

Lucy couldn’t believe the sight in front of her. Leah Williamson, on her knees for her. She was about to burst, she could feel her stomach tensing from anticipation. She had definitely imagined Leah like this a few times.

Leah kissed Lucy’s thighs some more, wanting to tease her just a little bit. She looked up to see Lucy looking flustered. Just what she wanted. Though, she was just as excited as Lucy for this moment, she didn’t want to wait anymore. Leah stroked her tongue right up to the crease at Lucy’s thigh. Lucy’s body jumped at the touch.

Leah leaned forward to Lucy’s lips, she could see her lips were coated in her juices. Leah’s own mouth watered.

Lucy could feel Leah breathing on her. The younger girl took a long, slow lick into Lucy’s cunt. She moaned at the taste. Her new favourite flavour. Lucys head fell back on the sofa. She was painfully turned on, her pussy was throbbing.

Lucy was more wet than Leah realised. Her tongue was met with her honey like juices. She swallowed the mouthful that gathered on her tongue. She couldn’t get over how good she tasted.

Leah lapped her up, wanting to feel every bit of Lucy on her tongue. The brunette was in heaven, it felt like Leah was on every inch of her. Caressing every spot.

Leah leaned back on her heels, Lucy’s juices still attached to her mouth, creating wet string between both Leah’s lips and Lucy’s lower lips. The blonde stuck out her tongue, greedily tasting Lucy’s juices, breaking the wet string attached to her wet mouth.

“You taste so good Luce. I could eat you out all night.”

Lucy could have came from the site alone, she hoped the image would burn in her brain.

Lucy let out a low chuckle, she brought her hands up to the blondes hair, she gently pushed some of her hair behind her ear. Leah couldn’t believe how delicate Lucy was being towards her, even in this position.

“I would gladly have you in-between my legs all night. Leah, you don’t know how good you like right now. On your knees for me. Do you know how beautiful you are?” Lucy’s voice was low and full of lust, but also sounded so loving.

Leah smiled at Lucy. She felt more bare than when she stripped. She kept her eyes on Lucy’s as she went back to her pussy. She traced her tongue into Lucy’s folds, she could feel the brunette getting wetter. Lucy slowly laced her hands into Leah’s hair. Leah moaned at the contact, she wanted to please Lucy so badly. She captured Lucy’s swollen clit into her mouth sucking it gently.

Lucy hissed in pleasure from the action. She wasn’t going to last long but she was shocked that she even got to this far. Her hips started to grind into Leah’s mouth, she gripped tighter onto Leah’s hair.

Leah was more than willing to let Lucy take control to reach her climax. Lucy’s breathing become rough, her hips kept grinding into Leah’s mouth. Her legs began to shake.

“Leah, ….Leah, I’m so close. Don’t stop. Your tongue feels so, so good!” Lucy nearly shouted the last words. She pushed Leah’s face deeper into her pussy, needing her exactly where she wanted her. Leah wasn’t going to stop, she would go all night if she could, well if Lucy would let her. She sucked and licked Lucy’s clit, loving every sound she pulled from the brunette.

“Fuuuck, I’m coming. Don’t stop!”

She came hard onto Leah’s tongue. Her head fell back against the sofa. Eyes closed. Leah continued her movements, she could feel Lucy’s juices flowing into her mouth. She never stopped.

She was still grinding into Leah’s mouth, ridding out her orgasm as much as she could. She could feel Leah’s tongue all over her cunt. She loved how good Leah was making her feel. She stopped her movements and slowly took her hands out of Leah’s hair she looked down at the girl in-between her legs. She had Lucy’s juices dripping down her chin. Her hair was disheveled. She looked beautiful.

Lucy leaned forward, cupping Leah’s chin. She couldn’t help but smile at her.

“That was amazing. You are amazing. Fuck.”

Leah felt herself blush. Lucy’s words did something to her.

“Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself.”

Lucy chuckled. She brought her hand from Leah’s chin into her hair and guided her to her mouth. She kissed Leah deeply, her tongue roaming hers. The kiss made Leah’s pussy throb.

“I’m gonna shower, do you wanna join me?”

Lucy voice was low.

“Yeah. That would be nice. Oh but I haven’t got any clothes to change into.”

Lucy gave Leah a lustful smile. “You won’t need any.”

Leah was definitely dripping now. She got up quickly and dragged Lucy towards the bathroom stripping off her remaining clothes as she did.

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