#it slopes horribly

[b0tsbby]

More Trigun Racing AU!!! Wow!!!

Please give no welcome at all for your own safety to the elusive Racer Number 999.

The Pale White Horse. The Silver Angel. The Last Racer. Triple Nine. Maybe even Nines if you’re suicidal. This formidable legend of many names has only ever been seen once on the track 70 years ago. Was it mass hysteria? No one truly knows if he’s real. But something cleared that track in record time, and the unfortunate racers on it never lived to tell the tale…

Talking and Design Notes Under Cut as Usual

Since this is a Stampede au I! Didn’t have a lot to work with from the original content! But it’s okay cause I read Max❤️.

That said I wanted Knives to appear somewhat more uniform then Vash. It is essentially still SEEDS uniform, but I wanted it to feel somewhat at home in a racer setting, a bit more uniform to contrast everyone else who is a little wackier. So designing it close to astronaut attire felt like the way to go. A weird mix of general pro racer attire and something that feels a bit alien and unapproachable. The Onesie situation was also non negotiable. It’s in black now because I read Max❤️.

A lot my inspiration came from Knives’ edgy black Griffith suit he just fucking wore that one time (points to his helmet and the three eyes) as well as the abstract sci fi work of Range Murata.

I love the name 999 for the wordplay on Knives and Nai and Nines and Nine. It is also the last racer number. And the angel number 999 is so perfectly oxymoronic to his whole character and situation I guess it was perfect. Something about the end of everything too.

Knives in this au, like Stampede, still has an obsession with the idea of belonging and home. Where No Mans Land here is a purgatory, a criminal’s playground, Knives has a strong affinity for and desire to reach the stars. But he needs the power within both him and his brother to do that.

His car is dubbed the Ark too, it’s an extension of himself, made out of the material remains of his sisters and his own gate. It can drive on its ‘own’, but doesn’t for the purpose of winning, but rather to enact some form of judgement in one big swoop.

Not actually interested in this game Zazie has orchestrated, but the two are more so on equal footing in this setting, so Knives compromises. His car only appears twice, and he only actually races once. That one time being against his brother…for drama’s sake…

Oh also, glasses are reference to when he really fucked shit up that one time. Crazy swagger (among other things) radiating off this…

[pathesis]

I'm gonna be so real, if you know or watch a person and you see their social media activity is like 60% just " Exposing people " making content on " Exposing people. " run 1000 miles away bc that shit is a 🚩🚩🚩 Those people will be your friend until you slip up a little and eat you alive in front of their group of people without regrets. Oh that's ur best friend? I got sad news for u. That best friend would still benefit from your downfall if they thrive on that type of drama.

Friends can be replaced.

[dootznbootz]

As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D

[candythemew]

Something I really like about the Collector is that no matter the reality, They’re always friends with the Scroll-Keeper on some level. The manga? Pretty decent friends. (SkekOk even calls Chamberlain cringe after he complains about him.) YA Novels? They freaking get drunk on Spriton wine together during a census and they’re just goofballs who love laughing together. AoR? …You already know my feelings about them being an old married couple, But from a PURELY CANON standpoint, having it essentially confirmed by the writers and puppeteers at the con telling me that they were best friends before Lach died, it just makes me happy. It’s very rare for the skeksis to be friends with other skeksis in a purely non-selfish way where there’s nothing to gain.

I just think she’s neat and it’s cool to have at least 1 trait shared throughout all her versions.

[shelbswastaken]

OK so obviously the whole sub fiasco was a massive fuck up and very much hubris but I still feel pretty bad for those guys who were inside it.

Like yeah they were billionaires and billionaires suck but that had to have been a terrifying way to die and the way people were doing stuff like counting down how much oxygen they had left and hoping they succumbed to cannibalism is kinda incredibly fucked up and sadistic.

[angesaurus]

We’re having a lot of issues with daycare and for the first time in 6 years, I don’t feel comfortable sending my child there. I haven’t been super happy with them regardless (never experienced any of this stuff with my oldest) but I’m also a veteran daycare mom so I understand how it works better than someone who has only utilized it for 1-2 years and I’m close with the owner and a lot of the teachers. I am typically in the “relaxed” pool of moms where I don’t let little things bug me but since June, we’ve had too many things come up that we are like, what are you doing???? I’ve spoken to the owner and her assistant about it (more than once!!!) and expressed my concerns about her teachers lack of communication and how they handle things. And the last week the current teachers are handling things very badly and I really don’t like it. Like considering keeping her home today because I don’t know that I trust them anymore.

[broomsticks]

you tackled that tonks/lily post so gently, so elegantly, I am in awe. (also I wrote tonks / lily for efficiency sake but I do think it would be an interesting ship to explore!). for me - my priority in HP is sibling relationships tbh and FRIENDS. like I wrote a romance and 80% of it was about platonic relationships. also - I dislike how people are like 'mlm is for straight women!' and erase the fact that so many women writing mlm are queer (that was in a reply re: wolfstar), as shown by statistics (which you probably have, you are so clever!)

ahhh thank you that means a lot! glad my hard-earned wisdom from my (one year's 😂) long experience shipping both remadora and wolfstar is coming in handy LMAO. but seriously - fandom Means Something to so many people and that's wonderful, that shared passion and excitement and joy and connection and vulnerability, but the flip side of that, when it means different things to different people, the "why don't you see this the way i do?" / "how can you not care about this as much as i do?" / "why does this not mean the same thing to you as it does to me?" hits so much harder. i get it, it's a horrid feeling!

but i've realized that what often comes across as remadora bashing/ erasure from some wolfstar folks is really them trying to say, in maybe not so many words, that canon acknowledgement / a happy ending for wolfstar would really have meant a lot to me, and therefore i am creating in fic what i would have wanted to see on the shelf/on the screen, just these small ordinary happinesses that's been denied same-sex couples over and over and over and over, in mainstream media and in real life.

and conversely, often what remadora shippers are trying to say is that remus and tonks, individually and together, mean a lot to me too, and so it hurts to see tonks' character sidelined/ assassinated even more than it already was in the books, it hurts to see it repeatedly insinuated that just because it's het m/f makes it automatically less queer, less 'cool,' less valid, less worthy of thoughtful consideration and affirmation and celebration, especially now that canon is long dead and buried and the fandom has really become its own thing.

(i don't know the jegulus and jily fandoms well enough to say, but.. you get the idea)

are gay people and same-sex relationships discriminated against? absolutely. are women a marginalized group? for sure. what about bi people, especially bi folk in m/f relationships? oh gosh don't get me started.

but. one side claims misogyny, the other claims homophobia, something something 'protecting male friendships,' something something biphobia, … it's tiring. it's the oppression olympics and i'm not about that (especially in this fandom! this fandom!!! of all places!). i'm tired. everyone has scars and hurts and is just trying to have a nice relaxing self-indulgent time. i would love for more people to read/write femslash, fic about the actually unlikable or morally complicated characters, and dark fic, but more than that i want people to enjoy themselves and be happy in fandom! ship and let ship. write whatever you want. don't want to read it? don't read it. fandom is for joy and silliness and fun. and for writing and gifting me james/lily/peter fic, obviously 😊

OKAY WOW SOAPBOX. i have feelings about ship wars, especially of the political moralizing and activism sort.

-#-

anyway yes gen fic is another area that's so hard to find a community for. AO3 already does better than most in having the & tag (the platonic 'regulus & sirius' made it into the top 10 tags of fics written last year! amazing) but it's inconsistently tagged: this first war longfic i'm currently reading, Power the Dark Lord Knows Not, is far more sirius & james and sirius & regulus, heck even remus & peter and sirius & peter, than it is wolfstar, but the slash ship is the only one tagged -- this is a delightfully chaotic minerva & peeves oneshot that's not tagged -- and ... even if it IS tagged, who really goes looking for remus & professor binns fanfiction? i'm a little sad that genuary never really came back after that first year too. ah well.

-#-

also hahahaha yes the stats you want are here. these stats are from 2013. 2013. imagine how different they probably look now, and in this defiantly queer section of the HP fandom at that.

[anon-confesses]

It was dark, and there was no one in the kitchen, and I wanted a snack, and I got the snack. Just also ended up holding a knife to my skin and dragging it. Kinda pressing in. There wasn't any blood, but it's now been ~15 minutes and I still feel it stinging. I don't know why it was so simple to do. Nothing happened. I just finished watching a movie and got hungry. Nothing triggered this. I've never used a knife to do anything to myself before. Baby's first knife injury, if you'd even call it that because it really didn't do much. I'm so tempted to go down and take the knife up to my room, but then what. Maybe I can finally call what I do "proper self harm" if I draw blood with a knife. I get that "self harm" is just harming yourself, and there's been bits of blood and smalls scars from which in theory would make me more qualified to, but it's so little. I compare myself to musical figures too much. And I'm too obsessed with blood. I eat the blood from my scabs after picking them. And it would be kind of cool if I was to get blood to appear from my skin from a knife. I'd be able to drink it and make stuff look pretty for a while until it turns bronze. Maybe I'd eventually perform on stage as a musician while I bleed. I know it's horrible when it's other people, but there's an appeal to it, both when it's me and when it's them. But about bringing the knife up to my room, I'm somewhat scared but also tempted to. But not today. It's bedtime.

.

[livvyofthelake]

the list of things that are going to trigger a mental breakdown this weekend is getting really embarrassing actually lol

[istherewifiinhell]

left unsupervised bought stupid shit online...

[seapasture]

Also it's fun with the genre of mental illness how it's the 'i will be fully insane and delusional for several minutes to the point i can't stop shaking and i'm a bundle of sweat and fear and i'm scared and angry and paranoid and everything is wrong everything is falling apart' and how it can Literally change like the flick of the switch. I can torch a metaphorical building single-handedly because my mind has fooled myself into thinking I need to and then turn around with a smile saying, 'Ah, I'm terribly sorry; that was incredibly thoughtless of me. Let me just put that fire out' and I will have suddenly acquired the necessary clarity and desperation to do so out of absolutely nowhere, but... it's just too late. the damage has been done

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny used to be a vigilante, firmly on the side of good. Like, illegally, but morally good.

Danny’s 100% sure that whatever he is now, it’s not good.

Is Gotham’s influence just Like That?

He was homeless when he got to this thrice damned city (literally, because Lady Gotham was so cursed) and now he’s… here? In a mid-level penthouse with a rotation of homeless kids going in and out of his kitchen and eating out his pantry??

Danny adjusted the cuffs of his dress shirt, making the conscious decision to ditch the tie. He’s a tall 6ft 4 now, taking after his Dad. His head smarted all of the time, hitting doorframes when he was being a bit clumsier than the normal ghost-like grace he had learned to channel as The Phantom.

The Phantom instead of just Phantom. Why? Because Phantom was the name of a teenage vigilante in another dimension. The Phantom, on the other hand, is an intimidatingly tall, deceptively kind, extremely dangerous kingpin.

Honestly? Danny didn’t even want this life. Like, he had no idea it would snowball like this??

He supposed that it all started when the Penguin was trying to snatch kids off of his block on Crime Alley. Not officially his block, of course, because Danny didn’t actually enter this city to be a crime-shadow thing. But he hadn’t lost enough of Phantom the Vigilante to ignore kids getting hurt. He still hasn’t, if he’s being honest. He flew into a frantic search, tracking down the missing kids to Penguin’s bar. The Iceberg Lounge. Apparently, he wanted the kids to do some menial tasks and what not. Danny, rage flickering through his core, intangibly went in and robbed Penguin of every coin and secret the man kept.

Then? Danny blackmailed the Penguin to guarantee his kids a measure of safety from the Rogue. That began the slippery slope into whatever it is he does now. Penguin was being kept in line by Danny’s threats, the grip he had on the Rogue’s weak points, and a wonderful bit of intimidation.

——

“What, you stinking phantom? I’m stickin’ to yer rules!” Penguin snarled, forced to his knees by invisible blob ghosts.

Danny, salty and pissy from the lack of sleep he’d experienced trying to keep Penguin’s men in line as a result of Penguin trying to test where Danny’s lines were, dropped the temperature to the point where Penguin started shivering. Considering the place was already cold- the Iceberg lounge lived up to its name- it meant that Danny was standing nonchalantly in a room that was negative twenty five degree Celsius in a sweatshirt, Danny was already making good on his natural intimidation factor.

“It’s The Phantom to you, Oswald.” Danny said, in the tone of someone saying “it’s the shit, to you.”

Danny narrowed his blue eyes, letting a tiny tint of ectoplasm make his eyes glow a bit in the suddenly icing over room.

“Your people have been getting on my nerves, Oswald. Roughing up kids is so… uncultured. Are you sure you’re a Cobblepot?”

Penguin snarled, the effect of which was rendered ineffective due to his increasingly violent shivers. Plus, Danny loomed over him without even trying.

Danny, annoyed and asking himself “What Would Dan Do To Intimidate This Guy?”, gripped Penguin’s shoulder and hauled him up one handed. He dragged the mob boss over to one of the booths, avoiding the bodies he’d dropped (non-lethally) when Danny first walked in to ruin Penguin’s night. He shoved Penguin in chair he iced over, because Danny’s petty and if he saw one more bruise on his kids at Penguin’s hands, Danny was gonna go full Dan the Murderer.

He at least allowed to room to warm up before laying into Penguin, though. He stayed standing. Hey, he had the height advantage to use. He could have kept Penguin kneeling, but it was probably god the best that the mob boss got some sense of pride back.

(Danny had no idea that sitting as someone loomed over you to lecture and threaten you was even worse than kneeling. At least with kneeling, you knew where you stood. But sitting? It leaves you horribly off kilter.)

“I told you to keep your people in line. Kids are off limits, Oswald.”

“I kept them in line!”

Never let it be said that Oswald Cobblepot had a normal functioning sense of self preservation.

“Really?” Danny jabbed his pointer finger lightly on top of Penguin’s trachea and allowed his fingernails to sharpen into Phantom’s sharper digits. Penguin tried to lean away. “Then why did they start a gun fight when there were kids visible on the street? Why did I see one of my kids get hit by one of your poor excuses of a bouncer?”

“I-”

“Don’t care much for your excuses, if I’m being honest. I let you mess around with the little projects you have, without even breathing a whisper of your secrets. Sionis would love to know how you double crossed him the last deal, yeah?”

“I- I’ll keep them in line!” Penguin stuttered.

“Well, I believe in second chances,” Danny bullshitted. Ancients, how was this even working? “So I suggest you make an example of the guy that smacked Hailey around before I make an example out of you, Oswald.”

“Fine! Fine!”

——

And with that, he got access to Penguin’s resources and men and more importantly, the corrupt police officers. He made Penguin “boot out” the pedophilic ones (in a very violent way) and kept the rest.

Then? Mr. Freeze froze over the god damn pipes and Danny had to intimidate and make a deal with the Rogue so he and his increasing roster of orphans had access to warm water.

In exchange for Danny’s restorative and, more importantly, unmelting ice, Mr. Freeze was now Danny’s… on-call enforcer?? When he’s not researching cures for his frozen in a pod wife, that is.

Danny was satisfied with that. He was! But then Black Mask happened, with the man trying to engage in a battle of wits with Danny over the control of Crime Alley which, at that point, was firmly Danny’s territory.

The thing is, Danny doesn’t play nice anymore. Why bother with pointless mind games when he could just…

——

“So, you’re The Phantom.”

“And you’re Sionis.”

Black Mask twitched at the name, gloved hands pulling out his guns. Danny sat on the counter, head touching mid cabinet, and sipped out of Sionis’ favorite mug.

Because Danny broke into Black Mask’s safe house and stole his quality coffee. The man’s eyes were wary.

“How did you get in here?”

Danny shrugged. “Walked.”

Danny held the coffee out of the way as Sionis unloaded a clip into his chest and lunged forward to slap a mask onto Danny’s face. After waiting a bit, as Black Mask’s smug triumph bled into shock, Danny laughed and, using a bit of his natural strength, tossed the guy off of him. He casually took the mask off of his face.

“Jeez, I’m trying to be nice, here.”

“So, you’re a Meta.”

Danny grinned. “Eh. And you’re a cult leader with a mask fetish.”

Danny tuned out the rant about the “true face of Gotham” or whatever, already bored, and sipped at Sionis’ coffee. The ass might be a psycho, but his coffee tastes were wonderful. Danny stood up, rinsed his mug, and turned back to Black Mask.

“You’re trafficking people. Kids.” He said, cutting through Sionis’ chatter. He was sly about it too, committing violence and torture in a way that would ensure obedience and fear. Danny probably would have never caught on, Black Mask’s schemes being so ingeniously created and executed, had he not kept a hawk’s eyes on the more vulnerable members of Crime Alley’s community. And the rest of Gotham’s vulnerable communities, of course.

“My, a wonderfully obvious conclusion. Now, Phantom, I have a proposition for you.”

Sionis seemed to have gotten his bearings back. Danny tilted his head at him, looking down.

“You can work for me,” Sionis said, before opening a laptop with video feed to one of his masked men or whatever holding a knife to one of Danny’s more fearless kids. Danny snarled.

“Or, refuse, and your kid will lose a finger for every instance of your defiance.”

“I told you not to touch the kids, Sionis. I don’t allow trafficking either.”

Black Mask chuckled. “Cut off a finger, Sadness.”

“Yes, bos- ARGHHHH!”

Danny watched as Mr. Freeze froze the goon’s arms before breaking them.

“I’ve got her, Phantom.”

Danny nodded at Freeze, keeping an eye on Sionis in case the fool bolts.

“So, what are your cards now, Sionis? You’ve sure pissed me off with nothing to show for it.”

And that was the last night anyone heard from the one that was supposed to be the King of Crime.

But Gotham knew the head mounted on a pike at one of Black Mask’s hastily abandoned bases was a warning, that The Phantom was watching.

——

Then he somehow got a gaggle of more orphans that were undead zombie “Talons?”

From there, he just obtained influence over the crime bosses of Gotham. Because his Talons kept bringing him heads and blackmail and his crime alley kids and Gotham orphans kept bringing him information for food and safety?

But like, Danny never wanted anything in exchange for the safety he provided. His core could give less of a shit whether he got anything in return. But he couldn’t convince his kids of that! They’re putting themselves in danger and ugh-!

Danny checked himself once more in the mirror. Ready, he stepped out into the night to wait for the Bats at his new favorite VIP spots.

On the way, he passed Ivy and Harley, who he waved to. Pamela worked under him because he controlled Gotham’s criminal underground (which also mean the official parts of the city considering the sheer amount of corruption) and influenced them into more plant friendly methods. His dominion over Undergrowth also helped immensely.

Harley? They’re friends. He beat up and crippled her abusive ex. She gave him therapy and stopped torturing people for fun.

Danny stepped into the back door of the Iceberg Lounge. No one stopped him. No one dared to.

He settled onto a velvet couch, nodding respectfully at the server that had immediately and nervously set down his mai tai. He glanced around for cameras and wire taps, before giving up and upping his ectoplasmic output to short any recording devices out.

He sipped his drink as he waited.

“Batman.”

“Phantom.”

“Oh, good. You didn’t bring Robin,” Danny said, watching Batman tense. “Kids shouldn’t be in places like these.”

Batman stayed silent.

“Come on, sit.” Danny gestured to the couch across from him.

“This isn’t a social call. I’ll stop whatever you’re scheming-” Batman growled.

“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic. Is this where Nightwing gets it from?”

Batman snarled.

“Sit, sit.” Danny rolled his eyes.

Batman stayed stubbornly looming. Danny sighed, allowing his voice to slip into velvet danger.

“I told you to sit, Bruce Wayne.”

“You-”

“I won’t repeat myself again, Bruce. You’re testing my patience.”

Bruce sat, wary and hyper vigilant. Danny sighed, settling back in his chair.

“You’ve heard of Red Hood, yes? Don’t answer that, it was hypothetical. I know you’ve heard of him.” Danny waved a hand impatiently. “I don’t really care why he’s setting up shop in my Alley, but he’s upsetting the other crime lords. They’re asking me to interfere.”

“I don’t work for you.”

“No,” Danny acknowledged with a nod. “But I could make you, if you push it. Politeness would serve you much better right now, Bruce, seeing as I am doing you a… favor. And since I’m not shouting to the world who you are under the cowl.”

Danny gave Batman a pointed, patented, mom glare.

“… Apologies.”

“Now, you might be wondering what that favor is.” Danny watched Batman’s cowled face carefully. “I thought you should know that the Red Hood is your “Jason Todd.’”

Batman was still. And then Batman leapt at him, snarling, “How dare you-!”

Danny caught the vigilante by the throat and squeezed.

Batman’s flurry of punches- which, mildly ow, those gauntlets kind of hurt- quickly changed to clawing and maneuvers to get out of the choke hold. Danny held steady, cutting off the vigilante’s air supply until he began to go limp. He’s not Superman. Danny will bruise and kill, if he had to.

“Are you going to listen to me now?” Danny asked mildly, emulating both Black Mask’s drawl and Dan’s effortless psychosis.

Batman gave a weak nod. Danny plopped him unceremoniously back onto his couch. He sipped on his drink once more as he waited for Batman to cough some sweet air back into his lungs.

“I’m telling you to get your little birds in line before I have to go hunting, yeah? Keep your kids out of danger, Bruce, and I won’t have to step in.”

“He- how do you know..?” The growl isn’t there anymore, and Danny felt a smug sense of vindication of having smothered it out of the guy. Woah, no, that thought was too Dan and too little Danny. Danny handed him a cup of water, which Batman didn’t drink.

Danny rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Drink. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now. And as for how I know…”

Danny held up a beat up copy of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, filled with Jason’s writing. He tossed it to Batman, who caught it with blank eyes.

“Water,” Danny reminded him firmly, feeling like a mother hen. Batman gulped down his water, eyes flicking between the pages of Jason’s annotated book. Ancients, Danny couldn’t believe he annotated his book. A crime lord, like that? Well, it’s not like Danny could say anything.

Batman looked up at him, a silent demand- no, plea, because he’s not in a position to make demands- for an answer.

“Broke into his safe house. You should contact your fling, Talia. Seems like she dunked him into these “Lazarus pits” and told him you replaced him with the current Robin.”

Danny could see Batman’s emotional gears hard at work and honestly, he doesn’t have time for that.

“Now, we’re done here. You owe me one for the information. I’ll collect later.” Danny grabbed the Dark Knight, who stayed oddly unresisting (shock, maybe?) , and hauled him up.

“Tell Tim Drake to eat more. He looks too skinny.” With that, Danny dragged the Dark Knight to the window and punted him out. His kids were waiting on hot chocolate night and Danny had to go shopping for quality ingredients.

——

“YOU COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THE BIGGEST CRIME LORD OF YOUR CITY WAS THE FUCKING HIGH KING OF THE INFINITE REALMS?!”

“Hn.”

“BLOODY HELL, DON’T YOU GRUNT AT ME, YOU BROODY BASTARD!”

Constantine let out a scream. Shite, the king who held his soul contract was a crime lord. Great.

——

The reason intelligence and convoluted schemes and genius doesn’t work against Danny is because he’s got weird standards of what he’ll tolerate and the fact is that his normal dumbassery and mother hen tendencies cancels out and coherent thoughts or plans he might have had.

[fnvbennygecko]

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Apparently bradford pears come in a pink variety

I suspected as much cuz theres a tree growing by one of the preschools down the road that I first thought was a redbud but the flowers were too light of a pink and were clumped more like the flowers on the regular bradford pear that's next to it

So I googled it and apparently they do, in fact, come in a pink variety

[sunderwight]

With moshang I think I'm equally fond of the possibilities/concepts where either Shang Qinghua is ludicrously attractive to demons in a broad sense (but doesn't realize it), or, where Shang Qinghua is just some weird little gremlin and everyone else cannot wrap their head around why THE Mobei Jun is so smug about seducing this man.

Or a combination, where no demon in their right mind would ordinarily look at Shang Qinghua and perceive a sex icon, but because such a high-ranking demon has clearly done so, they go "well there must be SOMETHING going on there" and then look closer and before they know it they're on the slippery slope to being horny about a guy who could help file their taxes or arrange to have their clan base's faulty plumbing fixed.

Basically it's all good. Demons en mass going "yeah yeah big scary dudes who punch good are a dime a fucking dozen around here, but do you know how hot someone who can skillfully use an abacus is?" vs demons going "the ice king is a respectable ruler but he has garbage taste in men, we all just smile and politely nod while he insists the weird rat guy he fixated on as a teenager is a catch" vs demons going "I really don't see the appeal -- wait he did what? he killed how many guys at once with 1 trick? he betrayed WHOMST? and lived?! and he knows how to get my door to stop making horrible squeaky noises?! okay yeah figures the king would marry him" but every option is a winner.

I'm also a big fan of both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua being not very attractive to demons in general, but it also being really common for demons to get super weird about first crushes and fixate hard on them, so in that sense they are completely normal choices for a couple of high-level demons to marry. Like the demon populace can appreciate the emperor actually landing his hot teacher and the king successfully marrying his teenage sweetheart. It's an idealized fantasy in terms of the scenarios, even if the actual guys are just weird humans. Nearly every average demon has lifelong daydreams about successfully seducing their first crush, so regardless of who those crushes turned out to be it's still a power move for LBH and MBJ to actually succeed.

Bonus if the fact that both SQQ and SQH are peak lords from the same sect leads to a bunch of demon kids developing crushes on the other remaining, unattached peak lords, and chaos ensuing. Especially for Liu Qingge. I think it would be funny for him to gain a flock of teenage demons with crushes, whom he keeps trying to fight off, only to discover that beating them up does NOT discourage them at all (actually makes the crushes worse). Or Yue Qingyuan getting mobbed like he's a pop star any time he makes a diplomatic visit to the demon realms. Sha Hualing deciding that she's just waiting for Liu Mingyan to become a peak lord before they make things official, since That's Obviously How It's Done, or Qi Qingqi doing a head count one day and realizing she suddenly has a bunch of unfamiliar "guest" disciples who sigh at her a lot and have funny-colored eyes...

[gay-dorito-dust]

How do you think Argenti, Gepard, Dan Heng, Blade, and Dr. Ratio would react to finding their lover crying about how beautiful they are?

Argenti would be honoured that you found him of beauty equal to that of your own.

Truly he was because he was the type to believe that it took true beauty to recognise beauty in all its other forms.

He would hold your face in his hands and try to calm you down with some sweet nothings and kisses as his thumbs wipe away your tears.

‘My beloved rose,’ he’d begin, ‘to be viewed as beautiful by your eyes is an incomparable experience and I am blessed that you think so highly of me because to me, you might as well have been the originator of beauty itself as you make even the most mundane chore beautiful.’ He pushes his forehead against yours, brushing his nose against yours. ‘I am so honoured to be viewed as such in your eyes. I shall Cherish this eternally.’ He finishes as he then proceeds to kiss under your eyes, your eyelids and finally down your tear streaked cheeks gingerly as though you were going to break.

Argenti just spends the rest of the day proving just how beautiful you are in his eyes as repayment afterwards.

You’d probably had to hold onto him and tell him that he doesn’t have to repay you for speaking your truth, but Argenti was adamant in repaying you for doing so and if that meant spending eternity wait in on you hand and foot then Argenti would gladly do so.

Gepard originally thinks that something was wrong when he caught you tearing up and was about to use whatever he needed to resolve the issue, only for you to tell him how beautiful you thought he was.

Now he’s sporting a cherry red face and was at a loss for words.

He was use to people singing his achievements despite thinking that he could do so much more but getting a compliment in general that wasn’t tied to anything he’s done was enough to have the second oldest Landau a little speechless.

‘Really?’ He would ask sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head. ‘I mean I wouldn’t think so but that doesn’t mean I’m within my right to tell you whatever you think of me is right or wrong, it’s just something I’ve got to get used to to in due time.’ He adds as he then grasps your hands in his and squeeze them.

‘But I thank you for thinking so highly of me that isn’t in regard to the things I’ve accomplished and more so on me just being…well me, even if I do fail at keeping our plants alive…but still I’m glad that you’ve stayed by my side for as long as you have. I truly don’t know what I’d do without you.’ Gepard finishes his statement off by kissing your forehead, down the slope of your nose and finally a sweet and gentle peck to the lips.

Dan Heng

He was quick to come to your aid upon seeing you crying, but the moment you tell him that the reason why was because you thought he was beautiful.

He didn’t hole much of an option about himself but he certainly didn’t think he was beautiful, average maybe, but not once did he ever look himself in the mirror and saw beauty staring back at him. He just saw Dan Heng of the Astral Express, nothing more, nothing less.

So for you to see beauty in him wasn’t something he was prepared for as his eyes widened a tad and his breath caught in his throat before looking away to scratch the tip of his nose out of habit.

‘You truly have a unique way with words don’t you?’ He’d say to himself as he smiles softly to himself, glad that nothing horrible had happened when his back was turned, you genuinely had him going for a bit there and he was more then glad to be wrong on this occasion.

He’ll hold your compliment close to his chest in hopes of absorbing it and committing it to memory, guarding it as though it were a priceless treasure he could not be separated from. He often didn’t think himself as someone special, but the way you spoke about how beautiful he was while crying made him want to appreciate everything you have ever said about him in the past in a remotely positive light. He didn’t know he needed it until you came along to shower him in love for just existing.

Blade is more of an ‘actions speak louder then words’ type of guy.

So he wouldn’t exactly be moved to bits when you tell him how beautiful he is because he knew what his body looked like, he also knew that you knew what his body looked like, so he often wondered where or not you were seeing the same thing as he was.

So unless you were holding his arms, admiring his scars and or tracing/kissing them with adoration like you were doing now, then he wasn’t going to be less to easily believing in words alone.

‘I’m far from it.’ He’d reply but felt the walls he’s built inside weaken the moment you pressed a soft kiss to one of the more larger scars across his inner forearm. A simple act made from genuine affection that shouldn’t have made as much of an effect on Blade it did.

The feeling of vulnerability wasn’t one he welcomed that often but when he does it was more or less only within your presence. In those moments you could tell him anything and he would be lead by the smallest spark to believe in it, including telling him he’s beautiful as you combed your fingers through his hair with tears still blurring your vision.

He’d brush your tears away with calloused finger pads and wordlessly bring you in close to his body, leaching off of your warmth and allowed you to borrow your head into the crook of his neck, and just keep you there as his own special way of saying thank you for seeing beauty within a monster.

Ratio

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or however that saying goes.

Veritas didn’t pride himself on his how conventionally attractive he was but more so on his intellect and extensive wealth of knowledge.

So when he caught you crying over how apparently beautiful he was, Veritas would want to naturally disagree with this statement but due to the fact that you were in a highly emotional state, he just bites his tongue and calmly walks over to you, kneels next to you and pulls out a handkerchief and start gingerly wiping away your tears.

‘I appreciate the heartfelt compliment but I do not think that it is worth your tears.’ He would then say afterwards as he coddles you into his side, making sure you could feel his appreciation for your ability to care for such things in life, seeing as how he was too transfixed on the much bigger, more complex paradoxes of life. ‘And don’t rub your eyes so hard when wiping away your tears, you’re only hurting yourself when you do that.’ He adds fussily but it never fails to make you smile and laugh at how much he cared about you in his own way.

He doesn’t stop mid work to smell the flowers but you did and he knew how even the smallest, minuet things could mean so much to someone, even if he didn’t understand the reason as to why, but he can learn to accept that what you found worth praising and what he found worth praising were two completely separate things and that was okay.