#it took me 2 months lol but I did it yay

[deus-ex-mona]

hAH SUCKS TO SUCK DHL—

[baiabay]

No Role Modelz (ATSV Black Cat Variant! Reader Insert)

Chapter 1: Scaredy-Cat

Prologue

Chapter 1: Current Chapter

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

^^links 2 chapters!! this story is also on ao3, wattpad, and quotev under the same name ! <33

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A/N: Spot is here!!

 Hey all! Okay so first things first thank you so much for all the support of the last chapter! It honestly means alot given that ive never written before lol. Alsoooo sorry for the radio-silence after the last release, i just graduated highschool! So yay for me :) also means that ill have much more time to write since its summer break for me now. Lastly,sorry if this chapter seemed kinda slow, I wanted to try to incorporate what this universes’ Felicia Hardys “canon events”(or what would be of her canon events) would look like in this chapter to set up a bit of backstory, as someone who doesn’t read the comics nor play the games, pls forgive any inaccuracies in Felicias lore as I am only going based off of wikipedia (plus in this story reader is a minor so I wanted to exclude the nsfw trauma that Felicia goes through in og story) I also wanted to find out a way how to integrate reader into the main plot which is why i decided to feature Spot in this chapter :D thanks again for the support and don’t forget that this chapter along with any future ones will be posted to ao3/tumblr under the same title!

P.S. Much more Spider-Miles/Black Cat interactions next chapter!!

Word Count: 1844

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You remembered it like it was yesterday.

Seven months ago, Brooklyn, New York.

Your father - The Black Cat’s face on every screen in the country, but most importantly yours.

BREAKING NEWS: WORLD-RENOWNED CAT BURGLAR CAUGHT IN THE ACT : IDENTITY SHOCKS THE NATION

…huh?

LIVE ON THE SCENE: ‘BLACK CAT’ REVEALED TO BE MULTI MILLIONAIRE WALTER HARDY AFTER RUN-IN WITH SPIDER-MAN

…no, this-

THIS JUST IN: CAT BURGLAR WALTER HARDY PRESUMED DEAD AT HEIST SCENE - POSSESSIONS TO BE TURNED IN TO OFFICIALS

This can’t be happening.

It was all too much at once. 

He never kept it secret from you. You knew about your father’s job.

You knew all about what he did. The planning, the heists, the reselling, he had done it for years. And you knew all about it.  But he had been doing this for years. Long enough to allow your family to live very comfortably. Long enough that you believed he would never be caught.

But yet there you were, all that you knew burned to the ground in a matter of minutes.

You remembered it like it was yesterday. Frantically packing everything you could into any bag you could find; clothes, money, pictures, weapons, anything - before they could take it away from you. 

And when they did, it was brutal. 

Live-streamed news coverage of men raiding your home, rummaging through your stuff- your father’s stuff- as if he never existed. 

Soon enough there were auctions. Bids, worth millions, on your father’s items, broadcasted across the nation, with drinks and music and finger foods - they made a fucking sport out of it. 

You remembered it like it was yesterday, the cheers in the street after the big-bad-black-cat was pronounced dead. The endless praise Spider-man received, that of which he took with a smile on his face. You had wished you could kill him.

You remembered it like it was yesterday, the day Peter Parker died.

You laughed.

.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .  

Seven months later, Brooklyn, New York.

Ugh.

Muscles aching, you stretched up in your bed, and groaned. Ruffling the bedhead out of your hair, you reluctantly trudged out of your mattress to open a window. Coincidentally, one of your many cats was perched perfectly on its sill, wide-eyed and tail flicking in your direction.

“...This whole heist stuff is really catching up to me, huh?”

The cat stared. You sighed. You really had to get yourself some friends.

Ever since your fathers passing, you’ve basically been on your own. Shortly after all his (and your) possessions were seized, you hopped around until you managed to find shelter in a shitty apartment on the west side of town. You, fueled purely by spite (with a tasteful teeny tiny dash of vengeance on the side), inherited the criminal persona of your father, along with his criminal tendencies, and took upon yourself the name of The Black Cat. 

All this time you’ve managed to keep your identity completely secret, not even your resellers knew who you were. That came with one major drawback though… you were extremely lonely.

Even with your frequent charity rounds around the community, noone really knew who you were. Even though Black Cat was nonviolent, the name was widely feared seemingly everywhere you went. Even with your days at school, the school you’ve been going to for months now, you made your way around the halls unnoticed. 

Speaking of school, you were late. 

Shit. 

Spending ample time dazing out your window, you’ve completely lost track of time. You disregarded your hair and rushed to pull on your uniform. Stumbling around your complex you hastily dumped too large of a portion of cat food into the automatic feeder, something you’re sure the cats will be grateful for. Shoving a few snacks into your bag, you simultaneously shuffled into your school shoes, proceeding to dash out the door. 

Sprinting down the stairs, nearly tripping once, twice, you whipped out your phone to check when the next bus route would arrive. 35 minutes.

Shitshitshit.

You paused, still in the stairwell, before turning to sprint in the opposite direction, towards the rooftop terrace. Creaking open the door, you checked to make sure noone else was up there before making your way towards the edge of the terrace. To anyone else but you, it would look like a young student was about to make an unfortunate decision and jump. And jump you did. 

You fell for a few seconds, relishing in the way your stomach dropped. You’d never get tired of that feeling. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building. Pulling and releasing, you quickly fell into a swinging pattern, towards Brooklyn Visions. 

Hidden from the eyes of civilians, you swung yourself through the shadows. Everyone looked so small from up there, and for a brief second, you found power in your lonesome. In the corner of your eye you noticed what seemed to be a lanky white figure clumsily flying through the air. (You paid it no mind).

Dropping down into a dark alleyway much closer to campus, you continued your mad dash towards the main entrance. Winded, you finally made your way inside the building, a thin layer of sweat shined on your forehead. The hallways were empty, class must be in session. You took a few steps forward, making your way towards your classroom until being knocked over by a student, very evidently in a hurry. 

“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to-I’m just in a rush, I didn’t mean…”

The boy reached out his hand to help you up.

“Hey, it's no problem, I get it.”

You smiled, and took your hand in his. He hesitated for a moment, staring, brows furrowed at your now interlocked hands, before nodding and continuing his sprint down the hallways. 

You took in his disheveled appearance, his wonky tie, his half-tucked shirt, untied laces, dark eyes, curly hair, brown skin, sweaty palms…

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted with the shrill ringing of the school bell. Suddenly, the hallways flooded with students rushing towards their next classes, you decided to follow suit. 

On the other side of the hallway, Miles Morales lingered on how his spidey-sense flashed alarms in his head when his hand touched yours. Every nerve in his system telling him to run, fight, dodge, anything to get away from you-he couldn't put his finger on why. (He paid it no mind). Blaming it on nerves, Miles shoved his way through the packed hallways, dreading the meeting waiting for him in the guidance counselor's office. 

.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    

School was a bust, as always. Nothing new, you made your way through the rest of the day unnoticed. As always. But you didn’t have time to think about that right now.

At the moment, you were in the middle of going through numerous number-codes on a padlock blocking the vault door to an extremely expensive gemstone. You’ve been salivating over this stone for weeks now, planning out how and when exactly you would strike to get this thing in your hands. You could see it now, the headlines, the chaos, after some rando millionaire’s little rock was taken from him…

“Woah, hey, you’re new!”

You flinched, hard. Whipping around towards the source of this unusually chipper voice. You were met with… a cow? … Man?

You stared, hard. 

“Okay, hey. The ogling isn’t necessary… I just-”

The cowman’s sentence was cut short with a quick lash of your whip, that of which he caught…? Your whip seemed to phase right through a large black hole on his torso, the opposite end appearing in a similar black hole right behind you, the whips end striking your back. You cried out, hit with the full force of your lash.

Sinister giggles emerged from the spotted figure, pointed towards your pained form. You trembled, in shock. 

“It’s rude to interrupt.” 

Spot stepped slowly towards you, his…well, spots, whirring aggressively, pointedly. You were frozen on the ground. Staring up at him, your lips trembled open.

“What,” You coughed. Once, twice. “-what are you?”

The black and white figure straightened, only to then fold over into a dramatic, hilariously unthreatening pose. 

“You, can call me… The Sp-”

“Some sort of cow?” You snickered. It was now his turn to flinch, hard. 

“I am NOT a-” The cow cleared his throat. “I am not a cow…whydoeseveryonesaythat…I, am the most dangerous villain you’ve ever seen, The Spo-”

“I mean, what’s with that getup?” The grin on your face grew. “Is that… is that supposed to be a costume? Orrrr…” 

The Spot sighed, defeated. “...it’s skin.”

“It’s skin?” 

“Yes, yes, now I-”

You stood up, energy back and eyes crinkled. 

“Wow, that’s…hm, interesting…skin, that’s skin? Sorry, sorry-listen man, I uh, I really gotta get back to this, so if you don’t mind?”

Stepping backwards in offence, the spotted figure shook in anger before swinging out his arm, releasing numerous dark voids around the room. Hitting practically every surface, but one most importantly, landing on the vault door, separating you, from your stone.

“Ah-wait-”

Swiftly, The Spot weaved his way through his holes, limbs popping up and out around the room in a way you couldn’t even begin to reach for your whip. 

No way was he about to take it from you.

But take it, he did.

In what felt like seconds, the whole room was engulfed in black. Stumbling backwards, you fell through one of the voids, flailing ungracefully, swimming through nothing. 

It was hard to breathe. 

A shrill crackling terrorized your ears, and before you, appeared a very disheveled Spot, now fully black with white spots, facial dot whirring and trained on you.

Gem in hand. 

Panic.

You were panicking. The sound of blood thrummed in your ears as you squirmed around in nothingness. Fuck the rock, you just had to get out of here. 

A cold hand grabs your wrist, dragging you upwards, towards the crackling form. 

For the second time today, you were frozen.

“I am not a cow,”

The form spoke lowly.

“I am not some villain of the week”,

Frozen still, you did nothing but stare straight into his glare.

“I. Am. The Spot”.

Suddenly, you were dropped. For the second time today, your stomach dropped with you. Next thing you know you’re falling through another void, leading not into darkness, but through the city skyline. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building. 

As soon as your feet reached a solid surface, your legs buckled. Heaving, you failed to process what just took place, heart pounding in your ears. 

“...the fuck was that?”

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   

Miles received word of commotion taking place downtown, something to do with spots. He had hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was, and it was. It was, and was so much worse. 

Dark spots littered a large manor, maniacal cackling emerging from its center. In the corner of his eye a familiar masked figure hunched over, breathing rapidly, staring straight ahead at the mess of spots.

(He paid it some mind.)

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Ppl that asked me to tag them!(thxx 4 the support!)

@nightshxdex

@itszzmoon

@blackcat-kittyblogs

@vxxxb

<3

[pathetichimbos]

hiiiii

was wondering if you’d like 2 do a quick “where is she” type hurt&comfort prompt with thomas and/or bo!! maybe some victim vs slasher action thatd be funn

Includes: Thomas Hewitt / F!Reader

SFW

TW: Hurt / Comfort / Reader is kidnapped under false pretenses of being 'saved' / Their slasher bf does Not Like That / Canon Typical Violence

…

Hi! Thank you for sending in this ask and I hope you're doing very well.

This... Did not turn out to be a quick drabble, haha. I, as usual, got carried away. When I checked the page count I was at 12 pages and had only written Thomas' part, so there's that. I don't want to overload in one post, or keep you waiting any longer, and I'm currently struggling to write Bo's part at the moment, so I'm going to post Tommy's part for now and update this later with Bo. I welcome any pointers for his character, by the way, I've never written for him lol. Anyways... I hope y'all enjoy!

Quick side note: I just recently reached 300 followers!! Yay!! I'm so excited and happy that you guys enjoy my work <3 I'm going to try and start writing more often so please, send in all your requests! Thank y'all for taking the time to read my stories and follow me, it means the world to me.

Thomas Hewitt:

The Texas air was hot and heavy, as it was in most August days, weighing everything from the birds to the pigs down, not much of anything caring to move about in this heat. Even Hoyt elected to take the day off, currently lounging about on the front porch, beer in hand. Though that wasn't too unusual, at least now he had somewhat of an excuse.

Luda Mae was in town, running the store, today being one of those rare days where she took Monty with her so he could “get his stinkin' ass out of the house”, as she had so graciously put it.

Not even Thomas had a lot to do today, so the two of you were taking advantage of that, currently set up on the living room couch.

You were sitting on the back of the couch, with Thomas situated between your legs, mask off and hair down so you could properly comb through it.

It was late morning by this point, so the strongest wave of heat hadn't come through yet, and you had all the windows open to try and keep the air flowing through the house before it did.

The radio played an old song from its corner, echoing a woman's voice throughout the living room. You hummed along, gently separating another section of hair and spraying a light mist of water over it with a spray bottle so you could carefully brush it without hurting your husband.

Thomas currently had his head leaning against your thigh, partly to give your more access to that side of his head, and partly because he was dozing off from the mix of humming and having you gently work through the knots in his dark curly hair.

You finished brushing out that section, running your fingers from his roots to the tips a couple of time to be sure, before pulling it to the side to place in a loose ponytail with the rest of his untangled hair.

You could start feel the soft, deep rumble as Thomas began to snore, and let out a soft laugh.

He had a habit of falling asleep every-time you brushed his hair, enjoying the close contact and the chance to take his mask off and let his skin breathe.

You let out a soft hum and bent down to place a kiss on his head, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone as you did.

You pulled back and continued to work, putting in even more effort to be gentle and soft as to not wake him. You carefully moved his head to your other thigh and began to brush the other side of his head, the brush easily combing through the knots, a stark contrast from when you initially started brushing his hair for him a few months ago.

After another fifteen minutes or so, you were finished, and pulled his hair together to give it a final brush through before setting the water bottle and brush to the side, sitting up straight to stretch your back and arms.

Thomas was still gently snoring, face pressed against your inner thigh as he continued his midday nap. You didn't really have the heart to wake him, but your ass was starting to fall asleep and hurt from sitting on the hard surface of the back of the couch, and it was getting close to time to start on lunch.

You let your hands run down his hair and to his shoulders, giving them a gentle but firm rub as you planted a kiss on his temple, speaking softly, “Tommy, baby, wake up. I'm all done.”

Despite what most people would assume, Thomas wasn't too much of a heavy sleeper, especially when he was on the couch, and that little bit was just enough to stir him awake.

He sucked in a shallow breath and let out a yawn, stretching his arms under your legs before hooking them over your thighs, letting his head fall back to look up at you with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning.” You joked with a smile of your own.

He hummed a bit and leaned over, pressing a kiss to your thigh.

“I've gotta start on lunch soon.”

He shut his eyes and let out a soft grunt of disapproval.

“Mhm.” You hummed back, running a hand through his hair again, “And then I've gotta--”

You were cut short by the rigid sound of the telephone ringing from the table behind you.

You sighed and reached around, pulling the base up and into to your lap.

“Hello?” You answered, holding the receiver with your shoulder while you idly played with Thomas' hair.

“Y/N? Could you put Hoyt on?” Luda Mae responded, skipping a greeting as she always did. After all, she's calling her own house, why should she have to say hello?

“'Course, Mama, lemme call for him.” You agreed, covering the receiver with your hand before yelling, “Hoyt, it's for you!”

No response.

“Hoyt?”

Nothing.

“Hoyt!”

Typical.

You reached down and tapped Thomas' shoulder, catching his attention, “Tommy will you go grab Hoyt? I think he's passed out in the rocker out front.”

He let out a disgruntled sigh but stood up, reluctantly sulking out the front door.

“Thomas is goin' to get him now, Mama, I think he fell asleep on the porch again.” You explained into the phone.

“Alright.” She sighed, “Just tell him to hurry up.”

After a few moments you could hear Hoyt yell from the front porch, followed by him stumbling in, still half asleep, with Thomas in tow.

“Phone.” You set the base back down and held out the phone for him to take.

“Who is it?” He slurred out, yet still grabbed the phone.

“It's Mama.”

“What the hell does she want?” He grumbled, before repeating the question to her, “What the hell do you want?”

You silently ushered Thomas over and grabbed his mask before standing straight on the couch to help him put it back on. It wasn't your favorite thing, having your husband hide half of his face, but Hoyt was awfully mean when he was drunk and it made Tommy feel more secure.

“Uh-huh. Alright. Yea. Yea. I'll be there in 'bout half an hour.” You could hear Hoyt finish mumbling and hang up the phone behind you before much too loudly announcing, “Thomas, get ready, we got supper comin' in down at the store!”

Thomas and you both let out a sigh. Well, looks like your day off was cut short.

There was a routine in place for days like these and falling into it was rather easy. You were placed on Hoyt duty, meaning you had to get his sheriff uniform ready to go and Hoyt sobered up enough to drive, and Thomas had to prepare the basement for the arrival of new guests, to put it delicately.

The two of you set to work, Thomas planting a quick kiss to your lips before tucking himself away in the basement, and you sat Hoyt down with a plate of carbs and a large glass of water to try and sober him while you tracked down everything he needed.

By the time you finished finding all of the things he carelessly threw around from the day before, he had sobered up enough that you deemed him safe enough to leave the house.

You assumed you had quite sometime before Hoyt would make it back, so you decided you'd take the time to get a few chores done beforehand, even though you knew it would upset Thomas if he found out.

It was his request that you stay in your shared room when Hoyt brought any new victims home, always worried that something would happen.

Normally, you listened to him, but the longer you waited the more chores would pile up. Besides, it would just take a few minutes.

You started with the dishes from breakfast, what with it being a lazy day and all, you figured you could do them at lunch instead. You had a couple of other things to clean up in the kitchen and finished it off with gathering the trash to take it out on your way to feed some leftover slop to the pigs.

Only an hour and a half. You smiled to yourself as you checked the wall clock, happy that you finished the chores so fast.

You dropped off the bag in the can by the back door and dumped the leftovers into the slop bucket that you kept beside it and made the short walk to the small barn out back where the pigs stayed, passing the chicken coop on the way.

The small pink pigs squealed with delight when they saw you approach, having gotten used to either you or Thomas being the ones to bring them food.

They gathered around the long feed trout that was set up in their pen, happily squealing in anticipation as you dropped the spoiled leftovers into their pen, each of them happily chowing down on the food. You kneeled down and patted one of their backs, one of the females, if her large, very obvious pregnant belly gave any clue. Tommy had noticed a while back that she was pregnant, and you gave extra care in keeping an eye on her.

You cooed after her, ushering her to eat all she could for her and her little babies, gently rubbing her back as she ate.

You sat up after a moment, stretching your back again before standing up and grabbing the slop bucket to carry back to the house.

You cringed when you picked it up, however, this time catching a whiff of the moldy food that caked the sides. Apparently it had been a while since the bucket was washed out.

You carried it out of the barn and to the side where one of the outside hoses sat, turning on the creaky faucet to wash out the bucket.

It was a messy job, and by the end of it, the dirt you once stood on was now mud and your shirt was soaked with a large splash of water. At least it helped cool you down a bit, being out in the heat like this was exhausting and you were already sweating.

You turned the faucet off and shook the bucket out a bit more before the sound of running footsteps caught your attention.

You turned back to the house, only to see a young man you didn't know running straight for you.

You jumped at the sight, taking a step back out of surprise and fear. However, when you did, your shoe hit the mud and you slipped, landing clear on your back and knocking the breath out of you.

You tried to take in a sharp gasp of air, only to be met with pain coursing from your spine to your chest, making it tighten.

You sat up, grasping at your chest and trying to breathe, tears streaming down your face, all while the man finally reached you.

“Hey, hey--!” He called out in a loud whisper, shaking as fear lined his voice and filled his wide eyes.

You shook your head no, pushing yourself back and away from him.

“No, no, it's okay, it's okay,” He raised his hands as he kneeled down, “I-I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm gonna help, I'm gonna help.”

You continued shaking your head and pushing away, desperately trying to breathe so you could scream for Thomas.

He ignored your obvious attempts to get away from him, and grabbed your arm, pulling you up and towards the back of the barn. You finally managed to pull in your first breath, coughing as he continued yanking on your wrist, practically dragging you across the dirt and grass.

There was a second door in the back and he found it easily, pushing you into the barn and towards the ladder to the loft where the hay was kept.

The pigs squealed in surprise, running around in their pen in distress as you tried to fight against the stranger.

“Stop! Leave me alone!” You pushed and pulled against his grip as he tried to shove you up the ladder.

“No, it's okay, I-I'm not one of them, I'm not gonna hurt you--” He ignored your pleas as he spoke over you, “I'm gonna help, I'm gonna help--”

You could feel the old creaky wood bend and groan against your back as he shoved you into the ladder repeatedly, trying to force you up there.

Sharp pain shot through your elbow as it slammed into the wall, finally managing to get your wrist out of his grip.

You ignored the pulsing and shoved him back, freezing when Hoyt's revolver fell from the man's pants.

You thought about diving for it, but he was faster, his hands in the air as he knelt down to pick it up.

“No, don't, don't worry, I- I'm not going to hurt you, I got this, before I ran--” He grabbed the gun and shoved it back into his jeans, “I won't hurt you, I promise.”

How stupid could this man be? Did he still not get it yet?

You were shaking, your racing heart almost loud enough to cover up the sounds of the pigs fearful squeals and Thomas' chainsaw echoing back from the front yard.

There was no way he'd hear you, not all the way back here, and definitely not in time.

You took a shaky breath and silently cursed yourself for reloading that same pistol before sending Hoyt off just earlier today.

Your mind started racing as you tried to think of a plan, your hands grasping at the air, looking him up and down.

He was on the younger side, early twenties at most, splashes of blood covering his open red button up and gray t-shirt. He was blond, making his light five o'clock shadow almost hard to see against his tan skin. His brown eyes were puffy and red, practically shaking with fear, his chest heaving and fists curled at his side.

“We, we've got to hide--” He took two bold steps towards you, “Before they come looking for us.”

You pressed yourself harder against the ladder as he did, taking in a shaky breath and nodding. He didn't know who you were, and you needed to keep it that way until you could escape.

You turned around to face the ladder, the old wood creaking under your weight as you climbed up, pushing the thick wooden door open with a thud before climbing in.

The scratchy hay dug into your knees and hands as you crawled further into the loft, giving the man room to climb in right behind you.

He immediately shut the small door and looked around, “We should put something heavy on the door.”

“B-But what if we need to get out quickly?” You countered, not wanting to make it harder to get out.

“It'll make it harder for them to get in.” He ignored your input and walked over to the nearest bale of hay, “We need to keep them out.”

You watched helplessly as he struggled to drag the heavy bale across the dusty wooden loft, finally falling down with a thud after he managed to cover the door.

“We can wait here until we get a chance to escape.” He crawled his way over to sit beside you, still shaking but seemingly calmer than before.

He swallowed and took in heavy breaths, trying to process the last few hours in his mind as you silently begged whatever god that was willing would help you get out of this alive.

You could've practically jump for joy when the familiar sound of a idling chainsaw and heavy footsteps against the barn floor became apparent against the calming squeals of the pigs down below.

You could almost feel the man tense beside you as he started shaking his head, quietly pushing himself away from the bale of hay that covered the loft door.

“No, no, no, no...” He mumbled to himself quietly, covering his own mouth as he pressed himself into the old wall of the barn.

You looked to the floor, Tommy's footsteps slowly circling around the barn, and felt a firm grip on your arm as the man quietly pulled you back with him.

“Shhhh.” He pressed a finger to his lips and pulled out the revolver, looking back to the bale.

It was your turn to shake your head, lifting your hands as you spoke, “No, no, it's okay, don't--”

He slapped his hand over your mouth as the footsteps stopped.

Thomas looked up, to the loft.

He could've sworn he heard a woman's voice, even over the anxious pig's squeals.

He gripped the chainsaw tighter, confusion overcoming him.

The victim Hoyt sent him after was a man, so, did that mean there were two of them? Had Hoyt somehow overlooked an extra person? It wasn't completely uncommon for him to make such a mistake.

He stayed silent, listening. There were no more sounds now.

He took a step towards the ladder, noticing the mud marks leading in from the open back door, even against the ladder.

The chainsaw weighed heavy in his hands, send vibrations through his fingers as he readjusted it to hold it in one hand.

He grabbed the ladder with his now free hand, the ladder creaking loudly under his weight as he took a couple of steps up, positioning the chainsaw to press against the door.

It didn't budge, so he squeezed the trigger, the chainsaw revving up and cutting through the old wood with ease.

He pressed further, the spinning chain suddenly flinging wood chips and hay back at his face with enough force to actually leave some small scratches on his exposed cheekbones.

He ignored it and moved the chainsaw in different directions, cutting at the hay bale that was apparently left on top to deter him.

Within a few seconds he was able to use the base of the chainsaw to get enough leverage to sling what was left of the door open, the remaining hay flinging to the side with ease.

He pushed himself up, grabbing a hold of the side of the loft's floor to help him balance as he pulled himself up with enough force so he wouldn't get caught off-guard by the two victims undoubtedly waiting for him.

His chainsaw slammed on the loft floor, still rumbling in idle as he stepped into the loft, deep brown eyes darting to the man sitting across from him, to the gun pointed directly at him.

He ignored the threat as he stood up straight, chainsaw tight in his grip.

“Don't come any closer!” His voice was unsteady, his hands shaking.

He took a step.

“S-Stop!” He stuttered over himself, thumb slipping more than once as he pulled the hammer down.

Thomas listened this time, staring the man down.

“Drop the chainsaw.” The man ordered, “Now!” His voice cracked.

Thomas did as he was told, the chainsaw hitting the floor with a loud thud.

“O-Okay, now grab it!” Thomas could hear the floorboards creak as the second victim walked up behind him.

His hand flexed as the footsteps stopped.

He could use her, as leverage, even a shield. All she had to do was reach for it. The moment she did he could grab her.

His eyes darted right and he saw dirty, shaky hands grab the handle.

His hand shot out, catching her with force as he turned.

You screamed, out of surprise and pain as Thomas gripped your wrist with enough force to bruise it.

Confused eyes met yours as he stared, his strong hold loosening out of reflex.

“Let her go!” The man yelled from beside you two, still pointing the gun at your husband.

He did.

He pulled back, fear and hurt in his eyes as he tried to figure out why you were here.

You hated yourself as you picked the chainsaw up, heavy in your grip as you dragged it away from him.

You walked closer to the man, the chainsaw sending vibrations through your hands and to your arms, turning them to jelly. You were unfamiliar with handling the large tool, only ever using it once before when Thomas had taught you how.

The man hurried to stand, still pointing the gun at Thomas.

“H-Here.” You offered, pushing it out to him, “I don't even know how to use this thing, I'll end up hurting myself.”

The man nodded, falling for your lie, “Okay, then you take this,” He shoved the gun towards you, “I can handle that thing.”

You switched weapons, Hoyt's gun feeling much easier to handle in your hands.

It wasn't light, the weapon weighing heavy in your hands as you slammed the butt of it against the man's head, a few drops of blood splattering against your hands and face as he hit the floor.

You turned to Tommy, letting the gun hit the floor as you let out a heavy, shaking sigh.

“Thomas--” You stepped over the man's unconscious body, arms wide as you threw yourself at your husband.

He met you halfway and slung his thick arms around you, clinging to you as he crushed you against his body.

You choked on a sob as you buried your face in his neck, hot tears streaming down your face out of relief.

He pushed his masked cheek against your head, pressing a kiss to your mud caked hair, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to steady his breath.

He had been ridiculed, relentlessly beaten by bullies, threatened by coworkers, attacked by victims and almost killed dozens of times, but nothing compared to the fear he had when he saw you in that loft.

He couldn't understand why you were there. Had you randomly changed your mind and decided to leave him? After so long? Were you taken against your will, threatened and forced to do these things? Were you hurt, scared, afraid for your life while he was off doing what Hoyt told him to? What would've happened if he hadn't shown up? Did he scare you, or hurt you?

You pulled back just enough to place your hands on his cheeks, Thomas holding you up as you pulled him into a kiss.

You opened your mouth and he deepened the kiss, your hands snaking around his neck and trying to pull him even closer while teeth clashed and tongues fought to explore each other's mouths like teenagers sharing their first kiss.

You sighed through your nose, pressing your forehead to his as you pulled back to look at him.

“I'm so sorry.” You whispered, “I didn't think he'd be back so soon, I- I thought I had more time...”

His brown eyes were filled with fear and relief, feeling like he had almost lost you.

You cupped his masked cheek, letting your eyes flutter shut as you finally felt safe again.

It was a long time before Thomas let you out of his sight after that. He was glued to your side, overprotective and worried for months to come.

You often caught him staring at your deeply bruised wrist while it healed, angry and ashamed that he hurt you.

You constantly reassured him that you weren't angry at him, or scared that he'd do it again. He treated you like glass long after it healed, gentle and afraid, like you'd break into a million pieces if he didn't take extra care in his touches.

Needless to say, it took months before life went back to normal for you two, but after that, anytime any victims were expected, the first thing he did was safely tuck you away in your shared room before anything else.

[inthemiddle0feverywhere]

Bad Batch Season 3 Episode 5 (scattered) thoughts and first impressions (ramblings)

Major spoilers under the cut

This one is also very long because mannnnnnn did I love this episode and omg do I have big feelings about it

Also yes I do love each member of tbb but in case it’s not obvious I’m a crosshair girlie. Have been since I first heard his voice in season 7 of tcw so this is gonna be very crosshair centric (because he finally has screen time and more than like 2 speaking lines this season!!)

Lula! 🥰🥰

Is Omega in a supply closet? Whatever better than her barren room at the lab

Ah nope her old “room” the gun turret 🥰🥰

A glimpse of mornings on board the marauder: peaceful boys and caf 🥹 probably only peaceful again now that omega is home

This is Omega’s best look omg the the crocheted vest??? I wanna cosplay her now or actually just wear this outfit fr

At first I was so annoyed they kept crosshair in this ugly ass outfit but I honestly think it’s because even though it’s warm on Pabu he’s always cold because he’s so skinny now (well he always was lean but this is a testament to how much weight he lost as a prisoner) They keep trying to feed him fruit and my man keeps using it as target practice 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I honestly love when they show scenes through like either a scope or helmet visor. Like I really love seeing what they’re seeing. In this case AZI (so happy they took him from Cids bar- sorry “parlor”….it was a dive bar)

He’s so mad at his hand 😭 my poor baby he really should let AZI look at it. What do we think it is? Nerve damage? I imagine it feels tingly like when your foot falls asleep.

I love that Batcher loves him!! Animals know good people. He’s a good man Savannah! 😭😭😭 and he likes Batcher too and anyone that’s kind to animals is ok by me.

Ugh Crosshair teaching Omega about being a sniper 🥰🥰😭🥰😭🥰 one day she’s just gonna pop out with a sick trick shot lmao

Shouldn’t have given him his rifle??? Sir it’s an extension of him, it’s like you gave him back one of his body parts

“Omega trusts him and that’s good enough for me” Wrecker!!! My sweet boy!! Big man and even bigger heart. He’s now kinda caught in the middle he wants to be cool with Crosshair again but doesn’t want to betray Hunter they’ve been through a lot just the 2 of them these past several months. Crosshair and Hunter are like parents in the middle of a divorce 😭

53%???? Fuckkkkkkk way worse than we thought

Echo!!!!! Yay mom came home!

“No hug for me” screaming crying throwing up! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 💔💔💔💔he’s disguising it as sarcasm but he wants it, he wants a hug! SOMEBODY HUG HIM DAMMIT! I volunteer!!! Please

Omega between her 2 dads 🥰 (Though is Crosshair more wine aunt vibes sometimes?) And batcher by Crosshair’s feet of course

Yummmmm I bet Pabu has banging sushi 🍣 Love Wrecker being an unbothered king enjoying his sush🥰

😭😭😭😭😭 Crosshair’s face when Echo mentioned Tech. He knows. He knows he fell or perished (shh no 🤡) trying to save him. They’re twins and he lost his other half and I’m devastated!! 😭

Haaaaa welcome to parenting a teenager Hunter!!!

Are Hunter’s eyes green all of a sudden?

Crosshair being the voice of reason?? I love seeing this side of him. I HC that since he is silent and highly observant he was a voice reason often for the batch. (Can we please get a series of TBB during the clone wars?? Or like when they were cadets or something. We only see them in 4 episodes in tcw and they were just an insane suicide squad who hated regs and didn’t follow orders or have anyone in charge of them like I wanna see their adventures and their dynamic and how they are when they have downtime! Please lucasfilmmmmmm 🙇‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️)

“I’m older than you are, little brother” 😂😂😂 and she got crosshair to chuckle lol ugh I love their dynamic so much. They are really feeding us rn (please don’t take it away)

Omg he’s so brave bringing them back there! To that freaking ice planet where nothing but trauma happened for Crosshair. I know he probably wished he would never have to go back there again but he knows this will help so he goes anyway

The old armor!!!! Helllllll frickinnnn yeaaaaaa (he’s so hot in armor omg I have a headache)

“Take a guesssssss” 🥵

“He started it” 😂😂 major youngest sibling energy

Mayday’s helmet! 💔💔💔💔 somebody sedate me!! 😭

Why can’t Hunter sense the Wyrm?

TOOTHPICK!!! Wrecker defo kept his toothpicks in the armor case 🥰

Frickin ice vulture always an omen. (Animals seem to really like Crosshair though even the scary ones)

“I know you” 😭 I know Hunter meant it in a “I know you’re sneaky and closed off and I’m expecting the worst from you right now ” but it just hit me harder than that. “I know you”- you’re my brother, the youngest I’ve known you since the day you were born. “I know you- I know there’s more to your silence I know your still waters run way deeper than you let on.” “I’m your brother- I know you talk to me I know you”❤️‍🩹

Oh shitttttt thems are fightin words yes let it out everyone

“I’ll do it! 😁” Wreckerrrr I love you

Hunter’s fast af boi!

Batcher is actually ripped af 💪

Ok petition that Cross doesn’t yell anymore it doesn’t suit him at all lmaoooo

Poor Wrecker yes it’s always ALWAYS a huge monster 😭

“Fantastic” 😂😂😂

Omg this is a roller coaster of emotions! Crosshair being soft with Batcher, the nodding! Ugh nothing like fending off a giant ice wyrm to bring bros back together

He’s so pretty shut up I know his head is shaped like a lightbulb

AAHH THERES THE HUG 🥰

progress 😌

“I thought I was being a good soldier 😔” * *pterodactyl screeching *

Welp Im deceased, fed and nurtured but dead at the same time.

Thank you thank you thank you for these past few episodes. Us Crosshair girlies were really in pain seasons 1 and 2

[withlovefromsimtown]

Lifa's Life Update (+Sims Progress)

Well it's been a minute, but We're still here & I don't mind.

Things roughly in order:

I fully remapped onto a custom SC4 terrain & rebuilt an entire Sims 2 BG neighborhood to update it to UC (any guesses?), started working on clothing defaults for the aforementioned neighborhood.

Started 2 huge TS2 projects that I may someday finish, completely unrelated to all of that, because I was in Milkshape & I can't control myself.

Had my partner's friends over A LOT, like it seemed like every couple weeks for awhile someone would be crashing in the guest room. (They're my friends too they just... started off as partner's friends lol.)

Barbecued & grilled a lot, because friends & food.

Went to a VNV Nation show with my friend (things that are on the Elder Goth Bucket List lol), made a whole Yeet Weekend outta it & also went to Ikea, Fivebelow, Spirit Halloween, a local outdoor market, & a snowcone stand.

The fucking holidays.

Got sick, part 1.

Surprise, my cat has diabetes & needs 2x daily insulin shots!

More of the fucking holidays.

Got sick, part 2.

2x/month cat checkups to check blood sugar & adjust the dose, for like 3 months.

TX freezes, local friend doesn't have sufficient insulation or central heating in their home to deal with the temps, because TX, & comes to stay with me (with their cat) for a week because I have central heating.

During that week that my friend was here, Mr Diabetes Cat decided to a) eat all the dry kibble out of every bowl, b) refuse wet food at shots time because he was full of dry kibble, & then c) throw up kibble & turn around & pee all over my carpet right after throwing up, which resulted in him not getting his shots that night--they have to be given with food---& getting scheduled an urgent vet visit in the morning. (He's fine, just expensive.)

On the day it actually warmed up outside before it went back to 20 degrees, friend & I did a mini-hike together. We also had food from the Generic Asian Cuisine place (yeah I know, it's Texas though) where we got Pho, Lumpia, & a tofu stir-fry.

I regret having to work during the freezy times, unfortunately.

Partner obtained me a uhh... knockoff Steamdeck handheld? Rog Ally? so I can keep Win7 on my monster computer & also play my dumb ancient murder-aliens 4x RTS game on Steam that I like, but I haven't fixed my mods for it to play it, because I...

Got sick, part 3.

While sick, took Mr Diabetes Cat to his very last 2-week checkup; we're on 3-month checkup schedules now! Because he's stable! Yay!

The entire house is a disaster & I'm still not 100% but I'm back to cooking/cleaning a bit between work at least.

Working on more of the necessary clothing defaults for the TS2 neighborhood I redid.

Planning for March when the entire zoo needs to be vetted again for vaxxing, just gonna wrap the diabetes checkup into that & do everyone's bloodwork at that time also unless something drastic happens. (We do like 2-3 cats at a time over the course of 2 weeks, & then the dog on her own, we're not like... hauling a van of animals to the vet all at once...)

Need to get some of the soft mesh transportation prisons for the cats before then, because the big crate with the lid is about to disintegrate.

[ethans-stars]

Wait tell me about your Ethan Lore this sounds rad

YAY OMG okay if the other person is up for my yapping do tag them. i like people looking at my yapping

okay btw ethan goes by they/them (rarely she/he) and morgana goes by she/they

for starters, ethans parents are fucking assholes. lol. theyre distant and emotionally and verbally abusive (they are a bit physically abusive too). they suck weewee. ok.

now morgana? she hates them. she fucking hates their guts and she doesnt fucking care. their logic is well, if you cant love me, your own child, then im not gonna love you back. theyre independent and rely on their interests. (they LOVE LOVE LOVE collecting molts and sheds of animals, knitting creepy dolls, crafting stuff that look scary, and making origami. she tends to dip into mostly stuff that freak others out, but for her? huge comfort.)

and even with that being said, morgana struggles making friends and has horrible validation issues. they also struggle managing their anger and can lash out when people pick on her or ignore her right infront of her face.

ethan, is a bit different.

theyre loud, obnoxious, trying to be the best and center of attention of everything. they try to get everyone eyes on them and HATE when people focus on someone else.

they would hang out with people they didnt even like, they would try and make themself someone they werent just to appeal to people, "fix" their personality when they saw an error.

they were hungry for any attention, any validation or praise centered to THEM.

now, ethan hung out with streber, leon, blaz, aria, liv, and confi when they were 15. and.. ethan started to get unhealthy obsessed with streber because of how close they were.

ethan would try to do small acts of kindness back, even if they didnt exactly grasp the concept. all they wanted was the spotlight on them, they didnt like when no one payed attention to them.

ethan gave streber a bat earring, necklaces, rings, makeup, nail polish, and a gothic jacket that ethan didnt like anymore.

anyway, after a while, and up until when streber and ethan got into college (18-19, but they started dating when they were 19), ethan confessed to streber with a small bouquet of flowers. now, note, streber suffered a traumatic event when he was 16-17. (wont go into detail, but they did get hurt from something and is very uncomfortable with their shoulders and back being touched, aswell as people sneaking up on him.)

streber had 2 therapists then (technically just one, but he considers his mom a therapist because.. well she does work as a therapist, but streber technically wasnt a client.) and honestly, he didnt feel the need to refuse ethans offer of being boyfriends. (also btw!! smth silly, i hc streber as demiromantic :3) streber was already recovering kinda steadily (since it had been about 2-3 years since) and didnt find ethan too bad. so, he took the offer.

ethan.. shouldnt have been in a relationship. they were horrible at respecting boundaries and trying to focus attention on strebers feelings and would only try and stop doing something just to avoid streber yelling at him. ethan, also, again, had very bad issues with needing the attention on them. so, ethan would be very loving and nice to streber when he gave him attention.

but,, when streber needed attention? ethan would be kinda closed off, trying to shrug streber away and stop it from getting that attention.

now, big thing, streber cannot function in a relationship if their needs arent met, specifically with comfort and love towards them. it doesnt even have to be touch, it can be words, and thats all that they need for that love to get across.

ethan only gave streber a lot of focus and attention specifically only when streber would have intense panic attacks or breakdowns. sometimes ethan gradually tried to share some love and focus and care onto streber, but.. they didnt most of the time.

2 years, 2 months, and the two broke up. streber sobbed on this cliff where ethan and it had their first kiss together. streber threw the bouquet off the cliff.

even worse? ethan didnt even focus on the actual qualities of streber. they loved this specific idea of streber and never appreciated any part of them besides when ethan got attention.

ethan then went to therapy, and the two had a rift seperating eachother for a good while, then ethan.. started to heal, started to get better with themself and truly find who the fuck they were.

ethan broke off various things, but did start to indulge into things they genuinely liked. they broke off unhealthy friendships and they most importantly left their abusive parents and took in morgana to live with her (when ethan was able to adopt them).

ethan took up the hobbies of tattooing, making punk and goth music with blaz and two other friends, collecting furbies, collecting skulls of animals (romeo was a skull they made themself :3!!!!), making creepy dolls, and collecting crystals.

the main thing ethan DID have from the start of their unhealthy need for attention was tattooing. mostly due how taboo it was for being young and tattoos. yk? so yeah. they genuinely do like tattooing though :3

anyway, they became much more calm and started to seep more into actually focusing on peoples feelings. they stsrted to chill out and become much more laid back and instead of always being in a social situation and trying to find a point where they can get the spotlight on them, they focused on whatever was going on. say a conversation, ethan focused on every bit of what that person said just to make them feel important and listened to.

now, ethan and streber began to build their bond, and became much better friends. they have this same sassy and dramatic energy (as kind of shown in strebers rehearsal :3) that makes them really compatible sometimes, and they always have a good time laughing about it after it.

now.. with ethan, they.. kind of focused too much, to the point their new partner after streber took it to their advantage. their partner hurt them emotionally and verbally and manipulated them into thinking that ethan wasnt doing good enough, to the point they wouldnt focus on themself at all and would constantly try and improve themself in ways their partner wanted, and would not give themself any selfcare because they thought that all that mattered was their partner.

that relationship went down, and ethan healed from that more, trying to not bottle their feelings and expressing their emotions with their friends more.

and then... ethan started to like streber, again, but this time they loved the genuine parts of them, each small trait and habit. they loved streber.

they needed streber.

one day on a whim, ethan asked if streber wanted to try again. just for a week, or even less.

and they tried, and ethan was so loving and caring and tried super hard to show their emotions and take care of streber aswell, slowly treading through and giving streber so much love. it felt fulfilling for once, and streber felt genuinely loved.

..except.... it just.. something wasnt right.

every heavy makeout, every soft touch, every date. it just felt off, and streber couldnt figure out why.

it was until it realized.. they didnt see anything in ethan, they didnt really love them. it was just good close friends, and that was all streber could manage.

but.. it would try, it would try and give it more time. ethan had so much love to give, so they would let it last for a little bit more.

anddd. 2 months after, and streber just couldnt let it go on like this, seeing ethan give endless love to him when streber didnt even know how to return it back. streber didnt love ethan. they never did.

afterwards, ethan fell into a slight depression, becoming closed off to their friends and not interacting with streber for a while. streber would visit, but ethan was dry and eventually asked him to leave.

after a bit, ethan learned to accept the rejection and started to be okay with just being good friends with streber. streber looked happy and free not being with ethan, and ethan would accept that.

they talked it out, and were truly just close friends. that was the best way things could turn out.

(though!! one night, when ethan and streber were both high, they almost kissed. they talked it out more and made clear boundaries. ethan wouldnt be satisfied with FWB, and streber wouldnt really like a committed relationship with someone he didnt see romantically.)

holy fucking fucking shit. yeahl there y9u go

i hope that makes sense. yeah whatevrr behwhehhdhfuhfhffhfhdhdhhdhfghhghg

[greydoesthearts]

Puppet Friends Comic Lore Drop

I know I took a while between the first few comic parts but after blasting through the last couple I need a break from it for a bit before diving into the next bits. So instead here's some lore drop for ya :]

Part 1

As of the beginning of the comic, the puppets are maybe a few months into living at the library. They've had their fair share of acting based trauma (as we see with Yay panicking over leaving the baby dragon) but no real problems arise outside of that.

More below :)

Part 2

We see they're free to roam the library as they please at nighttime. I wouldn't say they have night vision but they're filled with magic, who's to say how they see around?

Ren was hiding his discomfort before, but now we see she kinda really has qualms with things in private.

Part 3

Pip signs 'sorry' on panel 8 (?) despite everyone talking to it so far. He's pre-hearing aids as of this chapter and some into chapter 1, meaning he is not yet able to speak.

(And I've actually had some thoughts about this, that it probably seems like his hearing aids are a magical cure-all to his deafness/disability based on other parts of the story I've done in one-shots and whatnot. They're not. We'll see that just like his signing, he learns to speak after he receives his hearing aids. He is not fully deaf, more hard of hearing, and just like irl hearing aids do not cure any sort of auditory disorder, just helps. This was very important to me to clarify 🫶)

Part 4

I don't think there's anything lorewise I need to talk about here lol I just like her little 🥺 face and I'm glad you guys did, too! :D

Part 5

We'll get more information on the 'History of Puppets' book in further chapters, this whole chapter 0 things was, for me, to set up further stuff.

For this one I wanna talk about the unidentified children and man. The point of this whole thing was to focus on the puppets more than the people until later bits of the story, but these kids still do play an important role. Namely, their adult has broken his arm, oh no! And they've stolen Zero of all puppets? This seems like a recipe for disaster. Remember how I said so far the only trauma they've gone through was the acting stuff? Not anymore from that point forward. Consequences, consequences... the little boy who looked scared shitless will play a bigger role in the future though, I've decided. Not huge, but he'll be back :)

And there you have it! Writing this was a lot of fun, I like explaining my thought process into things, especially my things, and maybe y'all benefitted from it a little bit, too! If you have any more questions, you know where to find me lol 🫶

Puppet Friends!!: @glass-trash-bab @dtaegis @magic-fandoms @andthedolphinsdancedaway

[karkadette]

The Sims 4 | Ukrainian village house [photo longpost]

A story of this build is more than it seems.

English version of this post, so it can be also educational (sorry for mistakes in advance). [UA ver link / посилання на українську версію]

I finished this house on April 11th, 2022. It was already more than 1 month of russian full-scale invasion on Ukraine. This was one of the first times when I tried to distract a bit from a 24/7 scrolling though terrible scary news. I took my laptop, sit in corridor (note: this is a safe place in a flat if there is full-scale war with bombing, air strikes etc outside) and launched The Sims4. This was the most chill and comfy game that I had back than. No buttles, no difficult quests, just building.

I decided to build old Ukrainian village house, because at that time I was fully into thoughts about my country. I wanted to do something with traditional Ukrainian vibe or simply nostalgic.

I searched for some refs, childhood memories when I was spending summer holidays in the village. But also all of this is from my imagination and game functional.

The whole view to the land area.

Sunflowers in front of the house near the fence is a must! We have a lot of sunflower fields and it always nice to see even single flowers here and there. This is Ukrainian thing.

fun note: on the first months of russian full-scale invasion on Ukraine, brave Ukrainian woman came to the russian soldiers, that wanted to occupied a Ukrainian village, and ask them to put some seeds in their pockets, so they can at least somehow be useful after they pass away on Ukrainian land. This became a well-known meme and also a symbol in Ukraine.

Anyway, back to the house.

A vegetable garden in Ukrainian village household is a must too! I did a little one just for vibes. But usually Ukrainians have a few hectares of gardens. As people of agricultural country it would be strange if we didn't. BTW pumpkins in Sims are super cute, i guess they're not even from debug.

sad note: many of Ukrainian vegetable gardens are destroyed because of russian's bombing. They, in fact, purpously burn and shell fields to left us with no harvest.

Beekeeping is also a thing here. I guess almost every Ukrainian has a nostalgic chilhood memory when local beekeeper inspecting a hive frame and bees don't sting them. Oh, wow!

Hives in the Sims are very cure too!!

Talking about nostalgia. Even though nowadays in vilages we have toilets inside the house I wanted to build an old school one, haha. (one of the reason was me wondering how to buid it in Sims lol).

wtf note: while I was wondering which toilet to build in a game, russian soldiers were stealing flush toilets from Ukrainian houses, to send it to their homes and i guess finally live their dream.

The outdoor summer shower is another old school stuff that I wanted to include. On the left you can see an old bath and a tyre with flowers (just for fun really).

Some other details as a well and outdoor table.

It was so weirdly satisfying to build and to clutter up a shed, lol

Finally interior! Sunflowers on the table, random furniture and bunch of printed stuff on the walls.

Small bedroom with 2 extra beds if someone came to visit. I want you to notice an icon in the courner on the first pic. Small detail that I customised myseft 'cause I couldn't find any to download, ugh.

The basement or cellar. Very useful top tier place in the house. Safe and has a lot of food.

note: nowadays it's not an odd thing for Ukrainians to spend hours in here, waiting for air raid alert to stop. This one better than a corridor

Can you imagine how much time it took me to add all of this single veggies, fruits and other stuff from the debug? I bet you can't. Too long! But is was worth it!

The fun part! Secret exit from the basement, hidden in the bushes, hehe.

You never know when you will need to secretly escape your own house, because of neighbor invaders.

YAY! That's it! Thank you for scrolling down this long post! I wish I never needed to add such notes from my own experience.

And lastly, please,

1) Help and support Ukraine.

2) Don't say "because of Ukraine", say "Because of russia".

[heytheredeann]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @cha-melodius, thank you! <3<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

439! The plan is posting two more tonight so hopefull that will soon be 441 LOL.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

939,623! Almost a million yay!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment mostly TMFU, I have been getting into writing Banana Fish fic too, and I write for The Witcher, though less frequently than TMFU.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Stretch (Buck/Eddie+Christopher, 911, 3x02 AU)

Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace (Harvey/Mike, Suits, soulmates AU)

I held your hand as you shook in the middle of the night (Geralt/Jaskier, The Witcher, 1x06 fix-it)

Leave it unspoken (Harvey/Mike, Suits, a serial killer on the loose AU looool I had forgotten about this one)

Concession (Geralt/Jaskier, The Witcher, Geralt likes being the little spoon fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yesssss, I'm like constantly behind and sometimes I answer months late, but I love answering because 1) comments make me so happy and I want the readers who took the time to let me know they enjoyed the fic to KNOW THAT, 2) talking about fics is SO much fun, I think that discussing things in the comments is the best part of posting.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LOOOOOOOOOOOL filter for MCD on my Ao3 and take your pick. But I'd go with either Forever is the sweetest con (Napoleon/Illya/Gaby, TMFU) because the story is told backwards, so you start with post-MCD and end pre-MCD, so the ending is happy but. well. the happiness is gone already and you know it LOL, or maybe Meaner than my demons, colder than this home (Napoleon/Illya/Gaby, TMFU), purely because generally speaking when I play with MCD I kill just one of them off and leave the other two to pick up the pieces, but here there's just Napoleon left, so. probably worse than the others LOL.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sooo, I tend to write one-shots, and I HAVE written fluffy fics, but I think I'll go with Something gets lost from a safe distance (Napoleon/Illya, TMFU) because it's part of a three-part series that's all emotional hurt/comfort, and then it ends with fluffy kissing so.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Eh, it has happened, I think it's inevitable if you have been doing this for long enough LOL.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not usually, I did write a TMFU/Supernatural crossover though LOL.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yesss, more than once and it's always extremely flattering that someone would want to go through all that effort <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Right now I feel particularly strongly about the TMFU OT3 but like. I love so many.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I HAVE MULTIPLE LONGFICS SITTING IN MY DRAFTS DAMMIT. I just never want to post longfics unless I have either a first draft for every chapter or at the very least an extremely detailed outline for every chapter, which means that I end up always posting one-shots LOL. Two notable mentions among these longfics are a "Napoleon gets amnesia and bullshits his way through it to avoid telling anyone because he has trust issues" fic and an AU with Illya as a ghost that's a whole angsty mess. help me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Eeeeeeeh the emotions I'd say. Or I HOPE so, since that's pretty much 80% of my writing loooool Also there a lot of lines of dialogue that I come up with that I unironically like.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plots for one, I just tend to write snapshots with no real plot most of the time, and action. I don't LIKE writing it, which means I can never tell if it's boring or if I'm just projecting, and I tend to avoid it. ...also romance/attraction/getting-together. My aroace ass never knows what is believable romance and what are just tv show tropes that are not actually real LOL.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I generally don't do it and keep to the language of the narration, just clarifying "X says in German" if there's a change of language. I write limited third POV, so I just see it as "filtering" everything through the lens of the person that we are seeing the perspective of. If I'm writing from Gaby's POV, for instance (she's German but fluent in English), I feel like TECHNICALLY the narration should be in German, so by writing in English I have already chosen a filter that is not 100% accurate. But that's the filter I'm going with, so English is the language that Gaby is communicating to the reader in, so everything should be communicated through English lens: if she's talking to someone in English, I will just write the lines with no specifications, if she's talking in German I still write in English and write "in German" in the narration, and if someone speaks a language she doesn't know I don't write the actual dialogue because she doesn't understand it, so the reader doesn't get to see it either.

I hope this makes some sort of sense LOOOOOL, I don't really mind any way I've seen this done, but this is how I prefer to go about it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Fallen book series. LOL.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Evil question, go directly to jail, do not collect 100$. This answer will absolutely change every five minutes, but right now I'm particularly feeling Souvenir from a life left behind (Napoleon/Illya, TMFU), just a tiny dissolution of UNCLE fic with Napoleon angsting.

.

Tagging: @imgoingtofreakoutnow @ikeepwatchinghelicopters @thetamehistorian @huggiebird @deducitetemporacarmen @set-phasers-to-whump @cherryjuicegf @geralt-of-vengerberg and anyone else who hasn't done this yet and wants to play <3

[toomuchracket]

i see we’re on the topic of Ross yay!! not rly related to the picture but how do you think it would go if dad!ross room took you and eilidh on tour for a couple days. maybe it’s eilids first time on a plane and he’s comforting her and carrying her through the airport when she gets sleepy etc

baby eilidh! i really have neglected her oop. anyway. i think you'd probably wait until she was a little bit older to take her on tour - thinking 18 months/2 years old maybe? the boys are playing a festival somewhere not tooooo far a flight from england, and you and ross (and everyone else, really) decide it would be both feasible and cute if you and eilidh went along to support them. she's at an age where she pays a bit more attention to things, and she loves a) music and b) her dad and uncles, so it's probably an ideal time to take her to her first 75 show (ross and matty get SO hyped. they make her a little tour t-shirt, absolutely, and matty probs gives his goddaughter a shoutout onstage lmfao). before you go, you and ross try to explain that you're all going to the airport and going on a plane; eilidh hears airport and goes "bluey's mum?" (smart kid. also for those who don't know - in the eponymous tv show, bluey's mum works in airport security... a sniffer dog loooool) and then the discussion goes out the window because now she just wants to watch bluey. but eilidh's excited to go on a little holiday, and properly fascinated by the airport (if a little creeped out by the metal detectors and shit like that) when you get there. she's initially fine just walking with everyone, but then when it starts to get busier she clings onto ross's leg and then does uppy arms, so he picks her up and she just curls up against his chest (matty's like "me lol") and has a little nap before the flight. i reckon she'd maybe get a little bit teary on the takeoff when the altitude hurts her ears (although she took the sweetie you offered her with APLOMB lmao), and cling onto both you and ross until it passed; after that, though, she's chill, reading her little books and looking in amazement out the window. she's asleep by the time you land, bless her, and ross just gently carries her off the plane and settles her into the carseat you made sure to request in the car service. eilidh wakes up on the way to the hotel, well-rested and excited, and you guys just have the nicest time away and at the festival - she has her little merch top on with her denim shorts and vans and big headphones, she gets her face painted, and she dances about at the side of the stage for the whole show, party girl that she is (ross is like "oh she definitely gets that from me" lol). once the boys come off and ross has a little moment with his girls, they all get eilidh in a group hug and go "your first show!! were we good? did you like it?" and she nods excitedly and goes "again!", which makes everyone laugh - ross is like "no, dinnertime now, bean!", which excites eilidh, and then matty's like "then the afterparty, darlin'!", which excites her even more lol. but yeah, it all goes well and eilidh enjoys the holiday a lot (and so do you and ross - he gives you a kiss and says "i'm so glad you came, it's so good to have my girls with me" bless) <3

[asksds]

Part 1 | Next

Previous events

((This page was pretty much exclusively asset-flipping from the Clip Studio Asset Store. Materials used: City | Sky | Rain, the latter two get regular use across the entire thing.))

((MOM HOLY FUCK it's finally here!! I'll ramble a bit about it under a Readmore - but this one is 17 pages so more than 2 weeks of updates to look forward to! Yay! Return back to regular asks is nearing!))

((This really was such a particular roadblock for me and I think I have pinpointed 2 big reasons as to why it took THIS long:

I'd been thinking about it and layouting it in my head previously for years pretty much, and if you're an artist you know that overblown expectations like that can rarely be met by reality. Not getting to execute it like I imagined was a little frustrating so that made it harder to work on it

Turns out I was just helplessly overworked/kinda burned out from my job lol. The only time I could really get down to work on this was when I had any longer vacation, and we had a gigantic project at work spanning like 2-3 years that really went into overdrive last year with me pulling 10-hour-days for months basically. That left me no time and energy to really do anything else in the evening, and I'm pretty sure that impacted me until now since I could only finish this entire thing when I had another vacation and finally like...felt relaxed enough to draw?? and have fun doing it?? and have IDEAS?? It felt like I hadn't had ideas or motivation in years so that was a nice surprise, but also abolish jobs man I just wanna draw OCs and their shenanigans...

I'm really glad it's done, it did contribute to my posting anxiety to be honest where I felt bad posting anything because in my head I was like :( People will get mad if I do something else instead of work on this (ridiculous but you know how brains get. Like mate I drew a bunch of things for con prep and got too guilty to post any of it aaah) + for dramatic effect I didn't want to spam too many other asks inbetween which is why that grinded to a halt. Either way, it's done, it might not be perfect, it might show that it has spanned a very long time via some style changes between panels but what matters is that it's finished and I'm happy with it! If you read this (kudos) hope you enjoy, hope you have a great day and upcoming week, stay safe and hydrated in this hellweather, and remember the joy of creation because it's what makes life worth living!!))

[quiet-nocturne]

answer your 30 questions please and thank you!!!

WOO. HERE WE GO, YA'LL:

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? Published? 22,685. Unpublished? A loooooot ahaha.

How many works did you publish this year? Currently, 3. Hoping to have 4-5 by christmas though. 👀

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? definitely cause i'm lovesick. That thing was a labor of love. My first fanfic baby in a loooong time.

What work of yours has the most hits? currently cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed), which is at 735 hits. But it's kind of biased, considering I only came back to fic writing in like october.

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? nothing in particular - I'm just happy to have any engagement!

Favorite title you used honestly, no favorite as of yet. All the titles I've used come from song lyrics that are super royai coded/important to me, so I like them all. That answer could definitely change in the future though!

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? most recently, taylor swift (hopeless, breathless, burning slow), but also banks (cause i'm lovesick and you're all that matters to me anyway - she's SO GOOD for angsty love songs). Lyrics are so, so important to me. I have a ~300 song royai playlist (which I'm going to slim down and post here at some point) that I listen to constantly, lol, and a huge notes file on my phone filled with potential song lyric titles. I have a music degree and it's literally so important to my writing process aajsaksjljasjl.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Royai. lol. That's not going to change any time soon. The extreme hyperfixation is REAL.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Again royai. They're the best. My babies. 💖

What work was the quickest to write? Surprising, chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. started it last night and i'm already nearly done the first draft. That thing flew out of me, especially considering chapter 1 was much more of a journey lol.

What work took you the longest to write? definitely chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. it wasn't the writing that was the issue - it was the editing. I really dragged my feet on it, and could have had that thing out like 2 weeks ago. 🤦‍♀️

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? oh god. my wip's currently include: - chapter 2 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow - sequel to cause i'm lovesick (I ain't even ashamed) - a christmas fic - angsty, hurt/comfort, character exploration, ishval restoration multi-chaptered fic (I'm REALLY excited to work on this!!! yay angst) - roy and riza returning to her old father's house post-cannon and STUFF HAPPENS, fluff, hurt/comfort, etc (also really excited for this one! i've been daydreaming about it for MONTHS. Even just thinking about this fic feels like sinking into a warm bath. That's the vibes I want it to give) - ANOTHER post-promised day fic, because I'm a broken record, but this time more humorous/cute. - aaaand yet another post-promised day fic, but one where Riza REALLY ISN'T DOING WELL/almost dies like a million times at the hospital and roy is sad (!!!). - briggs angst/sick fic - does that make sense? no? it will. Yeah. yeahhh. That list is only going to get bigger. 🤷‍♀️ Some of these will also, shockingly, not have smut lol.

What’s your longest work of the year? So far, ch. 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow at a whopping 9, 792 words. It really ran away from me.

What’s your shortest work of the year? mmm, you're all that matters to me anyway at 5,954 words. apparently I can't write anything below 5k lol. 🤷‍♀️

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Oof, I mean probably most of what I had listed above. I aim to have some of it done - but it's already December 7th, so yeah.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Smut. lol.

Your favorite character to write this year? Surprisingly, Roy. I almost find him easier to write than Riza. Normally I don't enjoy writing from the male perspective. But Roy Mustang is just 🔥. I was so surprised lol.

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? No one, as of yet. But we'll see what I say once I start working more on the multi chaptered fics. 😬

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? More Royai, maybe with a dash of Roy/Maes. Maybe I'll try a bit of Ed/Winry? Who knows!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? chapter 1 of hopeless, breathless, burning slow. I am so fucking sick of it ahaha helppp.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? Currently at 142! You are all so sweet. 😭

Which work has the most comments? I think cause i'm lovesick at the moment!

Did you do any collaborative works this year? nope! Definitely something I'd consider doing in the future though!

Did you write any gifts this year? maybe! 👀 we shall see

Did you receive any gifts this year? nope!

What’s your most common category? ...Smut. lol. 🤷‍♀️

What do you listen to while writing? ahhhh I love talking about music with my ships! like I said, my ridiculously huge royai playlist. also all of my top songs on spotify were from it, which includes: 1. Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Ray (i've got my eye on you / i've got my mind on you) 2. Work Song - Hozier (no grave could hold my body down / i'll crawl home to her) 3. I Wanna Be Yours - Artic Monkeys (secrets i have held in my heart / are harder to hide then i thought / maybe i just wanna be yours) 4. Night We Met - Lord Horan feat. Pheobe Bridges (i had all and then most of you / some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met / i don't know what i'm supposed to do / haunted by the ghost of you) - that ishval restoration fic is definitely going to use a lyric from this song SOMEWHERE Honorable mentions: Die First - Nessa Barrett (someone dies or someone gets hurt / but if one of us dies / i hope i die first) Ya'aburnee - Halsey (i'll never know / if there's danger in confession / or it's memory that presses / like a blade against my throat / another word and i could choke / but what's worst? / tellin' you my feelings / or to die without revealing / that you got inside my head / and set a fire there instead?) Dress - Taylor Swift (there is an indentation in the shape of you / made your mark on me, a golden tattoo / all of this silence and patience / pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you) 10000/10, would play at royai's wedding.

Favorite work you wrote this year? cause i'm lovesick. Again, it was my baby. I loved writing it so much.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? mmmm, probably: "She'd planned to stay angry at Mustang for longer, but then he'd surprised her by sauntering into her apartment basically the second his train had arrived, eyes blazing with desire as he collected her in his warm embrace, murmuring you have no idea how much I've been craving to taste you against the soft skin of her throat." (I tried to find one that was mostly sfw lol).

Biggest surprise while writing this year? Just being able to write, in general! It's been so much fun. 💖

[cr0ftisprocrastinating]

Crofty! My favorite and beloved academia Dramione writer! Will you be a student again this year? What is the back to school season like for you?

I also want to ask, how do you set intentions for the beginning of the semester/school year and make sure that you stay committed to them? How do you balance separate writing projects with your coursework?

In addition, would you be willing to share advice for a reader halfway through her undergraduate degree? For context, I’ve had some rough setbacks in my first two years, but I’m really eager to prove myself. I want to build back my GPA and earn my way into a humanities PhD program.

Thanks so much! I hope your academic years are wonderful (in the true old meaning of the word!) and give you great joy, wisdom and inspiration.

#ADHDinacademia #PhD #dramione #darkacademia #hogwarts #oxford #oxbridge #ivyleague #columbia #manuscript #marauder #hermionegranger #undergradwoes #lumos

Sweet Piedra! Happy September, aka the best month of the whole year! (it may or may not include my birthday).

I will be a student this year again! I'm just about to start my second year as a phd student (programs in the UK are usually 3-4 years, so I'm nearly halfway through already?!).

The biggest advice I can give about studying is firstly: wanting to do well is the first step to doing well in anything, so you are already a good chunk of the way there!

2. pick things that you are naturally interested in (for option papers). Life is a hell of a lot easier when you're not making it harder for yourself, even if you think you *should* be studying something bc it sounds impressive (personally, I am not into Russian Literature at all, so I just don't force myself to slog through Crime and Punishment, etc. This simple realisation improved my life by at least 100%)

3. Do as much reading as you can. When I did my undergrad I was so surprised at how little reading people did lol, and doing the reading makes a big difference. The Professors have made the reading lists for a reason and they want to help you.

4. Utilise office hours! It took me ages to realise that I can just...go to the office hours and talk to the people who were teaching me. Go in person if you can. Talk them through your essay plans and they will course correct before they're marked. Let them know that you're interested in pursuing it further, and find out what they think you need to do to fill in any gaps you may have. Don't be discouraged if they're short with you, bc academics are a weird bunch.

5. Try not to be so focused on an end result that you forget to enjoy what you're doing right now. Romanticise the hell out of your life whenever you can. It's short!

In terms of my 'process' (sorry this is SO long):

This term is going to be pretty hectic! In addition to my PhD I work Tuesdays and Wednesdays at a corporate job to help pay the bills. I have funding, but funding in the arts is just...not enough.

I will also be teaching this semester for the first time ever (yay!) so I have reading lists and essay questions to put together before Oct. That's every other week though, so it's not too much work.

My supervisors and I try to get a 'chunk' of my thesis written a term (8-10k roughly). I have about 8k due at the end of this month as I have written 2 chunks over the summer, and will have another due at the end of term in Dec.

Also, I've been asked to give a talk about my research at the end of the semester which I am SO excited about, but it means I'll be adapting one of my thesis chapters for that, too! :)

Broadly speaking I do fanfic writing Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, as after grown-up-job-things my brain is too toasted for academic work. When I'm getting to the end of a story however I get real itchy fingers and have to get all the words out as quickly as possible, so I let a lot of other things slide, like cleaning or cooking or washing my hair or also doing my work. Gross, I know, but I've never been particularly functional when I have an idea in my head.

However, I do believe that if you are busy then you are more productive. I have 2 modes: INSANE or blob. I do not recommend this approach, but that is just the way that I'm wired. Today, for instance, I spent the entire day in bed. Tomorrow I really must go back to the library.

Oxford terms are only 8 weeks long, and honestly no matter how prepared I am at the beginning, by halfway through I'm clinging on by a thread. I try not to be too hard on myself when that happens, and focus on getting my work done and not keeping my house clean or whatever else I've decided to beat myself up about.

My username is about procrastinating for a reason. I just kind of productively procrastinate and then at some point everything just gets done?

Some personal mantras:

'everything in moderation, including moderation'

'say yes and figure it out later'

'the work comes first' (normally I say this to try and galvanize myself into staying in the library when I want to go to the pub)

'fuck it' (said when the pub wins out)

'it'll get done, because it has to' (said when I have a week to write 4,000 words because i've procrastinated too close to the sun, again)

[azureaqua]

Final Showdown! (a.k.a Last of the Ikemen artbreeder series, the Ikesen guys - Pt. 2)

Yay, I'm not dead! Or I have just risen from the dead.

After nearly 2 months I've made the Ikesen guys too! Let me tell you, this was the hardest & longest one tbh. I had to make asian portraits only and there were 17 guys in total, so yeah, it took some time.

(It's also kind of funny how - unintentionally - I did my 3 main Ikemen games in a certain order; the way the suitors' number grow each time lol.)

I'm not sure if I'm as satisfied with this batch as I want to be, despite the time and effort, but all together they look nice! So let's get into it!  

↓

Part 1 here, if you missed!

• Oda Nobunaga

(It was a big debate. He looked pretty good in several attempts, but he's again; one of the older guys, and to me he looked a bit too young in my other tries? This turned out to be the best in the end, he has a small smile at the corner of his mouth and his eyes are the sharpest in this one, like Haguro hunting for his next pray. His jet black hair was smooth, but his eyes are edited, obviously. Overall I think it's a pleasing sight, he looks devilishly handsome too haha!)

• Takeda Shingen

(He was one of the difficult ones. As I said with Keiji, there were several auburn attempts, slender eyes and manlier jaw. But he looked too young for Shingen. I tried mixing it with Kennyo's avatar, since I was done with him by then, and it kind of helped. I'm not sure about his face all together, maybe his eyes are too small? Or his mouth his weird, that he's not smiling perhaps? I don't really know, but I'm happy that I could achieve his thicker eyebrows - in his design they're specially highlighted and it adds to his many manly charms!)

• Kicho

(It was a difficult debate with myself, again. At some point I confused myself and wasn't sure about his features and expression. Also, somewhere along the editing he started looking European, so it got concerning for a second, but his eyes and face shape survived, which is a critical part in his design. In the end he came out Asian though (I hope)! I must admit, I put a little bit of purplish tint into his hair, because it was so similar to Nobunaga's, but other than this and his eyes, I didn't touch anything on his features! He's a bit more feminine, but he's also one of the 'painfully beautiful' characters and he's canonically a woman in history, so I think it's okay!)

• Mouri Motonari

(I was afraid of his character, because his design is really Latino in my opinion. Some kind of male lead in a Mexican soap opera haha. Especially because of the darker skin and white hair combo, I was concerned that the contrast would not show or I won't achieve such a clean look. But I think, despite my worries, he's one of the best edits from this bunch! And I'm really happy that I got his secretive and mischievous expression right as well! Just like his dangerously gorgeous, blood red eyes!)

• Sanada Yukimura

(He was one of the easiest! He doesn't have a complicated design, his face is quite simple; child-like, young, but also determined and earnest. The brown hair and brown eyes were a good combo as well, and they worked together nicely. At some point I tried giving him a smile or something, but then I just left it at the neutral expression. Like with almost everyone, since the program changes so much about their hair and face shape if you want to make the portraits smile lol.)

• Naoe Kanetsugu

(He wasn't hard, but choosing between the two semi-finals WAS hard. On one of them his hair was better, but his face was very off-track and didn't even look Asian. I don't know how in-character is he for real, but I think he's okay? Maybe a bit too generic, but still cool? His face is stern and straight, his jaw is firm and his eyes are sharp. A faithful subordinate of Kenshin, I think he's a decent try!)

• Toyotomi Hideyoshi

(I must admit, I'm the least satisfied with him. There's just something weird with his face? Or his smile? And he's hardly Asian, but at the same time he looks Asian as well? Just me? I think his hair is nice, its color is pretty though. And his carefree, pure, welcoming smile is really precious in my opinion! Fitting for Mamayoshi! I tried making a stern, strict expression too, but it looked really weird on him, again because the program converted his face so much that it just looked bad.)

• Imagawa Yoshimoto

(He was an early edit, and I'm having second thoughts, mainly because of his hair color. It has a blueish tint, I think?? Or I'm the only one seeing it, because I desperately tried mixing some blue into his hair but this time I failed miserably oof. But I do love his face and features, plus his sincere, relaxed smile! He's pretty, like a fine piece of art! Also he somehow looks both young and mature at the same time. I have no idea how I achieved that.)

• Ishida Mitsunari

(The angel, the most precious out of everyone! He looks so pure and like he fell from heaven! I don't know, he's one of the most satisfying edits in my opinion. I just love it so much how he came out! Maybe his hair could use some work and his mouth, but I feel like his face is spot on for some reason? Maybe he's not as happy as he usually is, I guess I captured a serious Mitsunari this time haha!)

...Whew! I'm happy that I got this done too, finally!

But I'm genuinely unsure, because as it already showed in my Ikevamp edits that I kind of suck editing Asian characters, it's simply harder for me...

But I pat myself on the shoulder for the effort and time! And they're such a big group, I'm happy that I could squeeze this in!

School season started again a month ago, so my free time is over, but I'm trying to post content! I'm just incredibly slow, as always! > <

Anyways, hope you enjoyed!

[heyitssashag]

Today I walked over 10km/almost 15,000 steps. I took the kid to school, had a meeting with their case manager and then hung out for a while. After, I walked into town, grabbed a bag of groceries, then sat and had a decaf americano. I realized it was the first time in a while where I haven’t felt bloated or gross in the gut. I figured it was the no sugar/flour diet. …but then I had that coffee. I’m not sure if it’s the cream or the coffee but I’m going to lay off it for a few days and see if it makes a difference. In my crazy running days (when I did marathons regularly), I never touched coffee in the mornings. I waited until after my run (if I had it at all). It didn’t agree with me. Instead, I drank green tea. So I’ll do that instead. I never could understand runners who loaded up on the caffeinated GU gels and electrolytes. I’d be living on the toilet. lol.

My tumour markers made the biggest jump up this month. Which blows. It’s been on an upward trend for about 6 months now. It started in July where it went up 10 points and stayed the same for a month then climbed from there.

To put it in perspective, the highest my tumour markers reached was 295 (that I know of) in June 2021. It was a few months after diagnoses, surgery and radiation.

Still, there’s no definitive signs of progression in the scans, though. Meaning, not enough to change treatment. I know many will watch their markers climb for up to a year before anything shows up on a scan. I’d like to be proactive, though. I’ll be scanned again in January - and even if they come back with nothing, I plan to go on chemo by that point. I’ve made up my mind. It’s time. I’ll have been on this regimen for 2.5 years. It’s served me well and a lot longer than many women. Besides, scans have failed me on a number of occasions in the past. I don’t really trust them. Correction: I don’t trust the radiologists to read them correctly. I wish there was a crash course on how to read your own scans. lol. I’ve requested numerous copies of my scans in the past (on CD) and I don’t know what I’m looking for. The only thing I can confidently point out is the hardware in my neck and the hot spots on my bone scans.

I’ve been feeling scared and worried about this which, in turn, causes anxiety. I know this. I feel like a lot of things are out of my hands and my control is limited. It’s a tough thing to get used to. It doesn’t help that my family doctor is on the mainland and my oncologist has 5 minutes for me and he repeats the same things all the time.

I’m tired, weak, sore and grumpy.

I hate feeling this way.

I need to kick my own ass to do weights again. I don’t even know where to start anymore. Everything hurts. lol.

Thank-you Tumblr for being my therapy.

Thank-you to all of you who read these posts. I know some of them are hard to get through.

On a positive note:

I’ve made more Christmas plans. Lots of events are coming up.

I’m 2/3 of the way through my book “Anxious People” which is turning out to be pretty good. There’s a Netflix series based on it as well but I’m waiting until I’m finished the book.

I’m doing a live reading later this week over Zoom of my story (in the Wildfire magazine). It’s being recorded so I can post the link here later.

I’ve got some new jokes that I hope to run through with my comedy class this week. I’ve also found a weekly open mic where I can perform. It’s not very local but I heard it’s relaxed and supportive. I may not get in before Christmas but it’s definitely on my New Year’s “to do”.

I finished up with one of my Health Coaching participants and she gave me a really wonderful review to my coordinator.

I needed to focus on some of positive things. So there. Yay me. lol.

I’ve also been trying to get my foot in the door for a possible employment opportunity. It’s very little hours which is fine because I can’t commit to much but it’s a wonderful, rewarding position. I hope I can charm my way in. lol. I won’t know much more than that until later January. I miss working but I’m also extremely grateful for the option of not needing to work. Our identities can be tied into our jobs and it can be an adjustment to just stop and never look back. I guess this is why I haven’t stopped volunteering. I don’t know a lot of people who just retire and that’s it… they hang out on cruise ships all day. lol.

Anyway, going to call my 94 year old Oma before it gets too late. Then it’s book reading time.

[spinobsessed]

AT Last Episode Commentary (in real time)

Finn’s arm was in the ground, some random alien was wearing PBs crown, and these Finn and Jake reincarnates are living in Marcy’s house. This is making me upset

WHY IS BMO BRUNG THE KING OF OOO WHY IS SHERMY WEARING MARCYS SHIRT WHERE ARE MARCY AND PB THEYRE IMMORTAL. BMO DOESNT REMEMBER FINNS NAME I AM FEELING VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW

I love how Marcy said good luck that was really good voice acting

“I demand that you deescalate your forces, now”

“listen to yourself, you’re a toddler bonnibel”

*gasp* “SURRENDER OR DIE!”

LMAO JAKE JUST THREW A BOTTLE AND THEYRE ALL PASSED OUT NOW??

THE DREAM WORLD IS CRAZY

I love PB she’s so hot and smart and speaks another language

I wonder if the cosmic owl is gonna appear in the dream

omg I saw the cosmic owl and why did a fish just barf up pb and her uncle

Yay pb and her aunt are gonna be friends

omg they’re fighting the monster mutant thing

pls maja is STILL unconscious

LEMONGRAB AND LSP KISSING WAS THE LAST THING I COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED PLS

“personal? Emotional? Just like a fanfic!”

“noo..”

Maja is awake! Omg that’s how Finn’s arm was gone

omg it’s THE BUBBLINE SCENE

they kissed for at least 3 seconds before the scene changed, and were still holding each other after 🥺 it must’ve been so wonderful and tender and hopeful to have seen that air on screen as a kid. When I see lgbtq stuff/shipping it’s so normalized (in my experience) I forget how simply meaningful that scene was, just two years after gay marriage was legalized. It feels so innocent to see them just love, it must’ve been life changing. I really wish I could’ve seen that on TV, I wish my first exposure to queerness was just something as innocent as a cartoon.

Not to say that the way I found out was inappropriate, but having a classmate come out when I was 11 and then going on tiktok to try and understand isn’t exactly how I’d prefer my future kids to learn. I look back on that memory and it feels really technical and full of words I didn’t fully understand, a cartoon directed at kids would’ve made more sense to me lol

back to the commentary

THE TREEHOUSE WAS DESTROYED NO

BMOS FACE IS CRACKED WHY, HES SINGING THATS SO SWEET

omg FINALLY Marcy and PB are back in the game like they just stood there, they’re all singing together

simon is back but Betty is gone, SHELBY? Why did Gunter wish that pls also shouldn’t Marcy be burning in the sun? It’s so sad that simon is gonna die someday tho, ig it is better for him to die as himself rather than live forever as a madman

omg it’s sweet pea but he’s giant now, AGAIN. WHERE ARE PB AND MARCY IN THE FUTURE IK THEYRE ALIVE BC OF COMICS (are the comics canon??) omg no, no no it’s the freaking song hole. I’m actually crying now I’m so serious

It took almost a full 2 months, but I have officially watched Adventure Time. All I can do is thank the lord I’m doing this in 2024 where there’s AT: Distant Lands and Fionna and Cake to watch right afterwards. Imagine if I did this before 2020 it’d be so heart wrenching that I had nothing to fill that void