#it took me a very long time to not feel stupid in cosplay

[shitpostdevil]

watching this blog come together is kind of wild

like I would actually perish at this point if it disappeared bc I've put so much work into it

[rowanthestrange]

i just read the entirety of your Rogue is the Bad Guy essay, and i’ll admit, you’ve convinced me, but not that he’s the Master, but that he’s trying to cosplay the Master cosplaying whoever. Also, it was really long so, like, i’m asking with full concern: are you okay? it just seemed like it took a ridiculous amount of time /lh

What I think is the case, probably 51% the Master. Just squeaks it.

What I want is Chuldur/Pantheon member ‘The’ Rogue cosplaying the Master cosplaying Jack. I’d prefer it by a very large margin. A huge one. But as to whether I think it will happen, I give that 49%. But that’s still good odds.

(I’ve got a lot of Pantheon!Rogue feels, ideas, and desires and have had nowhere else to put them yet, and this is a valid place to share them, rip. And to anyone else who followed the first Essay, let me convince you of my secondary Sub-Thesis in it.)

I’m giving that seemingly crazy high 49% despite the risky complexity of double-layering, because A) that was the Ruby resolution: she cosplayed the bird cosplaying as her - we’ve done it already and everyone got it.

And B)…Is actually complicated literal-meta but hear me out. Since they’re the only other writers this season I think there’s a very high chance they’re forerunners for next showrunners. I know at least one has high level management experience, and if they were given that as a test to do highly complex work to cut their teeth, this would be an incredibly good test that they passed imo. The Master is in themselves hard to write but necessary to fully comprehend because even when not present they are a lynchpin of the show. Here you’d have to write him well. But also effectively set up two twists (that he’s the Master, and then that he’s not he’s just pretending he is). You have to establish a Pantheon member - make an important part of an overarching narrative. And link together with other writers current and past. As well as create a good story with all functioning meta, on multiple levels.

The second you let Rogue be The Bad Guy the complexity of literally everything skyrockets anyway. (And one of the reason I’m a little annoyed that people want to believe he’s so flat - it does the writers a deep disservice to just think they wrote Space Darcy and there’s no shared metaplot there). But while Russell likes a certain amount of simplicity — Occam’s Razor 51% Master — RTD2 has been having fun with more complicated stuff, more prior-knowledge and using that, more thinking needed if you’re going to get the answers early. I think if he was going to give future showrunners something hard to do this would be it. For me Chuldur/Pantheon!Rogue is the pinnacle of that while still being perfectly possible to pull off to casuals without too much brainache. ‘The American accent guys, come on.’

I certainly think they have seeded all they need to, obviously can’t grade without seeing the full execution. And they certainly succeeded in writing ‘the Master’ well. Rewatching that ending? That actually got to me. And I’m a wall. I hated him which is what makes an actually good Master/Master-Proxy - you can neither go too far with that or the character becomes too unenjoyable (Simm!Master), but also too little with the hatred being turned almost entirely into pity (fandom), or even just they’re pretty purely enjoyable (Missy - but she’s an odd duck anyway), also robs them of something essential. This is pitched very well. Test passed on that score.

If my preference and height of percentage seems confusing, to me it makes no difference when talking about them whether he’s the Master or The Rogue perfectly playing the Master. Because if he’s perfectly playing him, as his Pantheon power should presumably allow him to do, it tells us about the Master anyway, so I don’t actually feel any need to differentiate most of the time. Certainly in The Essay it seemed stupid to bog it down with that and risk confusing the people still on ‘but he’s a good guy’ where it wasn’t necessary, because all arguments stay basically the same for a perfect copy. I trusted the reader to apply the level of abstraction themselves for the most part, only coming in with that where I thought something could be particularly relevant/missed in regard to that specifically. Muddying the issue with too repetitiously focusing on ‘remember it called also be a perfect Master cosplay’ and that seemingly complicated (even if I think valid) double-layering didn’t feel like the right call for something where just Rogue Is Playing The Bad Guy was already a hard sell to who I wanted to reach. Ymmv.

The only things that give me pause are that 1: The implication that he’s cloaked seems very high - the earring interference, psychic scents can mask real ones, seeming lack of recognition by allies (until the end I think - they shut up while he’s doing the scene rather than threaten or beg for their lives) etc. The Pantheon seem to have a lot of reality twisting powers. You wouldn’t need to, surely? You’d need to have a reason other than ‘same devices too close’ for that interference which starts the whole thing at minimum and I think ‘he made it happen for the Doctor to come over’ is too cheaty. And 2: The Bag. Why would you need to pack a bag and ensure you have it on you at the end if you can just snap your fingers?

But could be that it actually just contains his dice and he’s a stickler for doing things manually - think of daddy here, rules and ways to do things and following structure while also being creative within those constrictions. Which also very much applies to Dungeon Masters (won’t lie, the ‘Master’ part of that is what eeks it to 51% for just being him). This could come up, it’s feasible.

A Chuldur needing the teleport is also fair of course. And would want the psychic jewellery for the reverse of Ruby - being a Chuldur who needs to smell human to keep the gang on their toes and unsuspecting it’s him.

And there are lots of little things that complement the Pantheon element. We have the dancing scene where the lights dim. We have the fact he’s working with alternate dimension creatures and knows a lot about them. Certainly shows no fear at being sent to an alternate dimension once he’s got what he wanted. We have the American accent. We have him probably having watched Doctor Who like Bridgerton because he’s very familiar with Jack’s introductory episodes with all the references. We have the Vitamin String Quartet’s cover of ‘I’m The Bad Guy’ - Dungeon Masters love making playlists for their scenes, so why wouldn’t he (and also Theme of Music)? Maybe he doesn’t overtly use his powers during The Session because that sort of ugly manipulation of the world is cheap and bad DMing. Daddy liked the Spice Girls, why wouldn’t he like Kylie? He’s a game player like daddy but there’s no winning D&D, especially as DM, which makes an easy natural conflict between them. And we need at least one Pantheon member, cus while I think this is actually just a set-up season for them, there needs to be at least four, really five to truly feel ‘Pantheon’, three would be bare minimum and not enough for when the shit actually starts to go down next season, need at least four by then. I’m assuming we see one: The Writer, or The Audience, or Death or (The Twist At) The End/Grand Finale or whatever else you interpret the oldest one/one who waits to be, in the finale itself.

And this means we get a new (and if Pantheon rather than Chuldur) long-term character. Cosplaying the Master means The Rogue isn’t a copy of them, can just be playing The Bad Guy cus it’s fun right now, but they themselves don’t have to be Master-like, they can be anything. Something new. Anyone who knows me knows I wanted more rogue Time Lords and these guys are like that but with magic powers - what’s not to love? If The Rogue is a Joker, A Wildcard, and they just become a character that fills a void, that’s fascinating. Or they want to create exciting stories whatever that means and become whatever NPCs necessary to drive them on, that’s so interesting. Or they’re guided by being whatever they find cool much like the birds, with all the capricious ‘eh, bored now I’m wrapping this story up’ of a greek god (cus, well.) with all the associated dangers and disregard of these not being characters but people they’re playing with, and also expects there to be no hard feelings after The Session is over and next time it’s a new one. Can they perfectly roleplay a character but still break character if needed, or are they locked in to it until The Session’s done? Do they believe themself to have a ‘real’ personality or is that all fuzzy? Or all of the above. You could go anywhere from standard villain to a full Chaotic Neutral with that. And all the implications you could have of their power being to perfectly roleplay a person. And I use ‘they’ here because surely this is the most genderfluid a character you could get. The Rogue could literally be the red-nailed woman who picked up the gold tooth, think about that. How perfect would that be. Maybe that’s what’s in the bag. Live Tooth Reaction To The Kiss Not Clickbait. A character that could literally be anyone at any time, we would never know peace again. If Susan Twist appearing everywhere is something Pantheony, The Rogue is the inverse of this. Siblings maybe.

And see my Christmas Special pitch. Which is both a joke, but also an example of what fun you could have with The Rogue if you wanted. It doesn’t have to be pure heartbreak and misery Master 2.0. Especially if they are as seems here, a god not just trying to entertain themselves, but also entertain others. D&D requires a group, it’s co-operative, we see Rogue appear to adapt rather than (in any way immediately evident to us at least) externally force the story a certain way like a good DM. He never shoots the birds or threatens to or gets them in actual danger despite the in-character reasons to, and they looked like they all had fun - besides squished beak #5. But also sees NPCs as little more than set dressing as we ourselves would in a D&D game. What a dynamic that could be in a Pantheon god. It’s unique. Which is so valuable. A Chuldur slightly less interesting in that score but still.

If it is the Master I’ll be fine and accept it, but I want this, because it does double duty. It might as well have been a Master episode as it has most of the benefits of one (for me anyway), but also gives us all this new possibility and complexity on top of it. Those options are currently open and I want it.

It’s not popular, but I’m really pro trusting the writers. All of them. They’re smart. And I know these two just seem like randoms, but I doubt they are, they could be our new mothers, and I really think that while the Pantheon Rogue option is complex, it’s viable and has so much scope. If I hate people trying to see Rogue as flat Space Darcy because it shows zero belief in the writers, then I gotta do the opposite and entertain the option that they have intelligently created a deep and complex story, and have taken that to the end of the road. Even if complicated is by nature less likely than simple.

also lol I started The Essay at around 11pm sunday, wrote til gone 4am. Then woke up at 9:30am and wrote solidly plus edits until about 4am, and in-between edited the subtitles into that video. Am I ok? Physically, yes. Mentally, probably not. It is literally 10k and that’s why I made the joke. But I’ve done infinitely worse writing fanfics so...

EDIT:

‘Chuldur/Pantheon member The Rogue cosplaying the Master’ has just flipped into the dominant reading! Alert! Alert! Cus he’d never do this about him literally being the Master. If he’s acknowledging we’re having the feelings we’re intended to have, there’s another twist in it.

I officially move The Rogue Cosplaying The Master to 55% from 49% likelihood, and Rogue Is Just The Master down to 45% from 51%. You may wish to adjust your stock investment accordingly.

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[ijwrsmff]

Levi’s crush confessing to him in Ruri-chan cosplay

Here you goooooo. I think it’s cute XD 

Tw; blood (not much and not in graphic detail)

Word Count: 1,294

This…was this too stupid? Would he even care? What if this was too much?

You gulped, looking in the mirror at the Ruri-Chan cosplay you had purchased a few weeks ago. It was finally here, and now your plan was in action. It looked nice on you, you would admit. But the goal of this all…was to confess to your long-time crush. 

Leviathan

Everyone knew how much he loved Ruri-Chan, and he even got you into her fanbase. You had spent countless hours watching any Ruri-Chan content either of you could get your hands on. You had seen it all. Not without Levi quizzing you on what you just watched of course, but it was enjoyable the whole time. He didn’t get mad at you for getting questions wrong, instead offering to show you the clips that provided the answers. 

You heard a knock on your door, and panicked. “Wh-who is it?” You called, running to the door to make sure it was locked. It was, but the knocking continued. 

“Guess who~” The defining voice of Asmodeus came through the cracks in the door. He rattled the door knob, clearly trying to come in. 

“Not now!” You said through the door, but that demon was not taking no for an answer. “Asmo! Leave me alone for a couple hours!” You heard a clicking in the doorknob…was he trying to pick the lock?

“It’s alright~ if you’re changing I’ll help you pick out an outfit!” And with that, the door swung open. He took in your appearance and sat in a shocked silence. 

You stood there, equally as shocked, before yelling “ASMO! OUT!” As if he was a dog. He seemed like it sometimes, so it wasn’t anything too mean. He was just like a lovesick puppy, and that’s why he was your best friend…aside from Leviathan. 

“Pf…HAHAHA!” He burst out laughing, now tears in his eyes, as he closed the door behind him. It felt awful to be laughed at like this, and you found yourself on the verge of tears as well, but for a very different reason than his tears. “No, no, no! I wasn’t laughing AT you. It’s cute, Levi will love it.” And he wiped his tears. 

“You…you think?” You mumbled, now feeling better about the situation. “Wait! Hey! How did you know I liked him?” You crossed your arms and glared, but it was entirely playful and Asmo knew it. 

“Oh honey…” The condescending tone made you wince, “We ALL know you like him. Just how we all know he likes you~” And he stepped towards you, making you do a spin so he could see all of the outfit properly. 

Your face went from pale to cherry red, “W-what? You think he likes me back?” And you stopped spinning, making Asmo look right at you. This was important, you needed to know he wasn’t joking around, as he tended to do. 

“Of course he does!” And Asmo put a hand on his hip, while the other reached over to pat your shoulder, “That little shut in NEVER stops talking about you. He gets even more jealous than usual when someone else talks about you. It’s cute, really.” Then Asmo sighed, “I don’t know why you had to pick him, but we’ll all be here to support you through this.” He waved his hands around for emphasis, “Since it will clearly result in a relationship.” 

You stepped back, “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! HE PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN LIKE ME LIKE THAT!” Not meaning to yell it all, but you were filled with so many emotions right now, you really couldn’t help it. “I…I just want him to like me. But what if he doesn’t?” You looked down, and sighed. 

A small snicker came from Asmo, but your glare at him silenced him. “Go on then. Do it. Shoot your shot. He won’t say no.” He spun around dramatically, “But I get the first ‘I told you so’ when you’re both together~” And he left. He seemed troubled by your choice, but in his own way he was trying to be supportive and help you out. 

So with a deep breath, you left your room as well. Gosh…how were you really going to walk across the dorms without all of Levi’s brothers seeing you? Asmo already knew, might as well make a break for it. Hopefully as few of the brothers seeing as possible will be okay…so you ran. 

You made quick work of going to Levi’s room, and managed to get by relatively unscathed. Beel walked past you, but had food on his mind so he didn’t even seem to notice you. Asmo was nowhere to be seen, and you weren’t spotted by the other brothers. A little surprising, but you weren’t going to complain. 

Now was the hard part…confessing to Levi. 

You stood outside his door for a good few moments, but then decided to knock. Your thoughts raced as you heard him walk towards the door, and debated running back to your room as quickly as possible. However, the door opened and a Levi whose eyes were glued to his handheld device was standing there. 

“What do you-” He stopped when he looked up to see who was at his door. “R-Ruri-Chan?” He said, and almost…ALMOST dropped his device. He looked at you standing there, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Oh! Uh…y/n…?” He asked, after several seconds of stunned silence. 

You nodded, and did the classic Ruri-Chan pose. “I’m here to tell you something, Levi!” You said in a cutesy voice. Returning to a normal stance, before looking flustered…you kept your gaze on him. 

“I…uh…you…eh…huh?” He couldn’t stop staring at you. He had to try hard to keep his eyes on your face, when you were in such a cute outfit…but he didn’t want to be disrespectful. It was very difficult though, and a few times you would catch his eyes glancing to your chest and waist. “I-I mean…what do you need to tell me…?” He looked away from you all together, not being able to stand just how cute you were in his favorite character’s outfit. 

You gulped, and thought about your words carefully before you said them, “I like you…in that way. I figured what better way to confess…then dressing up as Ruri-Chan!” And you looked at him, eyes filled with affection. 

His gaze snapped back to you, looking as surprised as ever. “YOU! YOU LIKE ME?” He looked at you, now softer almost…doting, and he leaned over to check the hallway, and when he saw no one there, he pulled you in and closed the door. “I like you so much!” And he realized his hand was still on you from pulling you in. He reeled his hands away quickly, and his gaze darted from your face to around the room, as he was clearly having difficulties focusing with you in that outfit. 

At his words, you beamed. You didn’t have much time to say anything before his face became redder…and redder…and he covered his mouth with one hand, and before you could speak up a shot of blood came out of his nose. He stumbled back, before falling on his rear. Now frantically looking for something to wipe the blood from his nose. “I’M SO SORRY!” He yelled, running around until he found tissues.

You giggled at his cute antics, “If I would have known you’d like the cosplay so much…I would have worn it a long time ago.” And you handed him more tissues. “Then…if you like it…and you like me…would you like to go out? On a date?” 

More blood knocked the tissues out of his nose, and he collapsed backwards. 

“LEVI!” 

“I-I-I-I’m okay. The answer is…yes.” 

[loversindevildom]

hello! I'm not that anon but thank you for the other period-related hcs, if it's okay, may I ask for the brothers' reactions to an MC who doesn't have painful ones, but bleeds A Lot and is terrified of getting communal/the brothers' stuff dirty? people with monster uteruses unite

((Definitely!! Currently on my period while writing this and felt it-

((Also would you look at that, the me is posting again-

Masterlist

The boys x MC with heavy flow

Lucifer

It all began when one of your worst nightmares came true.

You woke up early in the morning having bled all over his sheets.

You were panicking. Badly.

Lucifer was still sound asleep on his side of the bed, having noticed nothing.

Without thinking, you immediately get out of bed and go fast towards the wardrobe to grab some sheets.

You had no idea how you were going to change them without waking Lucifer up but one step at a time.

But he was already awake as soon as he felt you get off the bed. "MC?" He mumbled your name quietly before opening his eyes.

You wished a hole could open underneath your feet and the earth would swallow you. You also happened to be wearing white pijamas and so the blood was obvious all over you.

Lucifer had just woken up and was not thinking straight so his first thought was that someone attacked you or that another demon attempted to eat you and immediately rushed to you and pulled you in his arms. "Who?"

"what?"

"Who hurt you?"

"no one... I'm so sorry!!" You cried in dispair and that's when Lucifer started understanding what was going on.

"It's your menstruation? I thought someone attacked you... It's alright. I'll go fill in the bath for you."

Thankfully you changed the sheets before he realized you got them dirty.

Or so you thought. In reality he had noticed but didn't want to embarass you.

Mammon

He knew you were on your period.

You had told him the moment it came.

But it didn't matter to him much. He didn't know many things about it, only that you're in pain.

"Hey, come on, sit with me." He patted the couch beside him in his room.

He knew you were hurting and he wanted to cuddle you and watch some movies with you and spoil you with chocolate he stole from Beel.

When you shook your head in return, his heart shattered. "I'm not really in that mood."

"B-But! It's your favourite!"

"I'll just go to sleep."

"We can sleep together here."

You sighed and he felt the world twist. You didn't want him anymore? That's it? It was over?

"What did I do?"

"nothing! I just don't want to get blood all over your couch!"

"Ohh..." He felt relieved. That was all. Truth be told, this couch was pretty expensive but you were worth ten times that couch...

"Don't you wear that pad thing you talked about?" After you nodded he added. "Then it's fine. Get your stupid pretty human ass here now. You don't wanna miss the beginning."

Leviathan

He wanted you two to cosplay today.

You had been planning to go to that convention for months.

The day had arrived and he had excitedly changed into his costume only for you to come out and say you're not going.

And he's ???? So confused ????

He thought you wanted this as much as he did.

Did you fake your interest?

"look, Levi, I'm sorry. I was really looking forward to the con but I got my period today."

Ohhhhhhh it was because of that thing. That was a relief.

"it's fine! The con is a week long, we'll go by the end of it. And we can wear the costumes inside and cuddle!"

The idea horrified you.

"NO!" The costumes were amazing and Levi had paid of them. You couldn't ruin it.

"why?" He was confused again.

"I'll get blood all over it. I always get things dirty. You should keep me away from your stuff." After all you knew how much he valued his merch.

Leviathan rolled his eyes and walked over to you. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you down with him. He wrapped a TSL blanket over you and proceeded to play games with you all night.

After all, you were more valuable than all these together.

Satan

You two had visited Devildom's public library to get a book he had ordered for you.

He had seen how fascinated you were as soon as you heard it came out and immediately ordered it for you.

You were looking around the shelves with him while the staff was going to bring you your book when you felt an intense pain on your lower parts.

Looking down you realized blood was leaking everywhere.

Panicking, not sure what to do you hid behind a bookshelf.

Satan panicked as soon as he realized you were gone.

What if another demon had fetched you and eaten you?

"MC?" He called out your name. Once, twice, thrice...

"Here..." You said in embarrassement. You had the idea of using a jacket to cover the mess in your pants. But you had accidentally grabbed his...

When he finds you he was relieved. "There you are, I was worried..." Then he scanned you. "My jacket looks good on you."

You weren't sure how to tell him, so you continued and went all the day back to the house of Lamentation when you immediately put it in the washing machine.

Of course, he had noticed. You had been dripping on the floor.

But being aware this was a normal thing, he decided not to embarass you and make a big deal out of it.

Asmodeus

You were screwed.

You were seriously screwed and not in the good way.

This had been a lesson to you to always keep in mind when your period was coming.

Because the one time you had forgotten, you had wore Asmo's clothes to sleep.

He told you you could use them whenever you wanted.

It made him very happy to see you wearing his clothes and it made you feel very comfortable so why not?

This was the reason not to.

Because waking up that morning, you had gotten blood all over his clothes.

"Shit."

Your exclaim and panic woke him up, but he was too focused on your face to notice the blood at first.

"What happened, my love? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Asmo!!"

It took him a few seconds but then he realized exactly what you were talking about. He took a deep breath. This was a disaster, but you didn't do it on purpose.

"It's fine. It's your time of the month? Come on we should get you changed. Wanna run a bath together? I can give you a massage too." He winked as he got up to get the water running. He prefered to focus on you than his ruined clothing.

And this, my friends, is called love.

Beelzebub

You were always careful when it was your time of the month not to get anything dirty. Always.

However, the unfortunate day had arrived.

You were in his bed, playing on your DDD while Beel was picking up some food from the kitchen.

And then it happened. The major pain. And you realized you had been bleeding all over his sheets. You should change them before Beel-

Speak of the devil....

Beel walked in happily and let the food down on the tray next to the bed. As he leaned down to put them there he noticed the blood and frowned.

You were scared you had disgusted him.

"are you hurting too badly? I'll bring you some medicine."

Cause he's that sweet.

Diavolo

Yes I will say this every single time I write about this one;

He's busy.

So even if you do get blood in his stuff you'll certainly have time to clean it.

However, fate isn't very nice...

When Diavolo is in his study, he likes to work with you sitting on his lap.

When you felt the sharp pain in your stomach you immediately jumped off his lap and fell on the floor.

"MC? What happened!? Are you okay?" He asked worrily.

You didn't answer him, instead you run towards the bathroom.

Yes, you didn't get anything on him but it was big a jumpscare itself.

Diavolo knocked on your door once. "Dear? What happened?"

"nothing! It's fine, my period just came!"

He was silent for a bit. You thought he left but as soon as you opened the door he was standing right there and he hugged you. "I see... Come on, let's go back. I promise we'll cuddle when Im done."

"I'll get blood all over you!" You argued back.

In response he picked you up and walked back to his chair where he made you sit on him again.

Simeon

Simeon is such a sweetheart.

He probably has already noted your circle on his calendar.

He remembers when it's that time of the month always.

Usually, so do you.

Usually.

You had miscalculated this time. You thought it was due for next week and so you had wore a nice white dress for your date with Simeon.

He wasn't sure what to say. He thought you looked gorgeous in that one but...

"Sweetheart, are you sure? I love the way the dress looks at you but I don't want you to feel bad if it gets dirty."

You were so confused. "What?"

"You said you avoid wearing white when it's that time of the month... Unless you're late? Oh my lord, are you late?" His eyes were shining and that's when you realized what he meant.

"shit! No I am not! Wait here!" You rushed back into your room to get changed and indeed found blood between your legs.

You couldn't find yourself feeling bad tho.

All you could thinking about was the way Simeon's eyes had shined at the thought of being a father.

Solomon

As a human like yourself, he treats it much more normal than the others do.

He doesn't treat you any different then really, unless you're in pain.

Then you're getting backrubs.

You were sitting on the couch with him and he was telling you a story about how he first formed a pact.

When he was finished you felt the need to go to the bathroom.

Then you noticed the red stain in your pants.

Shit that was a lot of blood. Had you gotten it on the chair too?

Thankfully, when you returned it was gone.

And thankfully, Solomon knew magic to clean it quicker.

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Hot Chocolate and Chill

Peter Parker x Male Reader

Word Count: 1644

This is pure fluff you guys! Thank you so much to the person who requested this, I need more fluff in my life and this is working toward that!

---------------

Y/n was certain he had never been more excited before. He couldn't stop himself from literally bouncing up and down as he made his way out of his last class of the day and toward his locker.

His friends just rolled their eyes and got out of the way. Y/n thought about feeling bad or trying to calm down, but then he would remember all over again that it was tonight.

He had been counting down all week to the time that he would be able to spend uninterrupted time with his boyfriend.

Peter had invited him for a sleepover after classes Friday, which, when he had suggested it on Monday had seemed like an eternity away.

But it was Friday and he had just been released from his last class. Nothing was going to stop him from being alone with Peter, and Y/n couldn't be happier.

He slammed the things he wouldn't need that weekend into his locker, slung his bag over one shoulder and took off in search of Peter, totally blanking on the need to close and lock his locker.

In the back of his mind he registered the long suffering sighs of his friends, but he was on a mission. There was no time to calm down, he had a boyfriend to track down.

It didn't take long, as he was still standing by his own locker talking to Ned. Y/n didn't stop to think, he just bounced over and launched himself at Peter.

Peter stumbled back a step as Y/n collided with him, but managed to keep them both standing. Y/n silently thanked the spider that had bitten Peter for the results as he none too subtly appreciated the muscles holding him up.

"Hi Y/n," came the resigned sigh from Peter's friend Ned.

"Yes, Tis I, The Amazing Y/n, come to light up your lives."

Okay, so he was feeling a little extra right now, sue him.

"You may now revel."

Peter and Ned lost it, which was the end of holding Y/n up. He pouted from his new spot beside Peter and waited for the two to stop laughing at him.

His pout gave way to the dopey grin that usually crept up on his face whenever he was looking at Peter for longer than a second. There was just something about his adorable dork of a boyfriend that made Y/n feel like he was floating.

Y/n subtly snuck his hand into Peter's while he waited for the other two to say their goodbyes. Luckily Peter was used to Y/n's actions and didn't startle even when he decided to hang over his shoulder.

"That's so gay!"

'Ugh, this guy,' thought Y/n as he turned to face Flash.

"You know, that isn't even an insult. We are in fact gay. Or I am at any rate, Pete's pan, right?"

Peter just nodded from beside Y/n.

Flash looked nonplussed.

"What? So you admit it, you really are gay? Ew!"

"You sure are stupid for someone who's supposed to be smart. That's like me saying, 'Oh, my God! You're such a person!'"

Y/n even affected an over the top pose to add to his effect.

"Ew, you're a person! That's so gross!"

Flash just looked confused at this point, which to be fair, that was a common response to people who weren't used to being near Y/n's particular brand of crazy, but still.

Y/n was going to go ahead and call that one a win. He and Peter turned away and ignored the bully.

Peter just looked at Y/n in shock as he heard Flash sputtering and stomping off behind them.

"That was amazing! I have to remember that for next time!"

Y/n grinned at his boyfriend, eternally grateful to which ever deity it was that had paired him up with someone who wasn't put off by his over the top personality like others had been.

--------------

May was watching from her place by the table in their kitchenette, bemused as Peter straightened one of the pillows on the couch for the tenth time in the last two minutes. He had been quietly freaking out for the better part of an hour now, and that was only the time he had been out in the main living areas. She was sure he had been freaking out in his room for much longer.

"I'm pretty sure he won't hold it against you if the pillow isn't in the exact right spot when he gets here."

May immediately regretted speaking when Peter's head shot up and he stared at her with the widest eyes possible. Oh, this was more than just normal anxiety. This was much more important than normal to him.

May unfolded herself and made her way over to her nephew.

"It's going to go just fine, you two are so happy together, I can't imagine anything causing a single night together to go wrong."

She held Peter close to her for as long as he would allow. He was growing up more and more every day, and didn't let her comfort him near as much as he used to, so she was going to savor this for as long as possible.

May felt Peter melt into the hug and was glad that at least she could still provide a little support, even if she couldn't fight every dragon for him anymore.

The door bell rang, startling them out of their hug, and Peter managed to trip over twice in his rush to get to the door as fast as possible.

May just shook her head at the thought of ever being so young and clearly in love.

She took her place by the table again after greeting Y/n. She had a cup of tea and a book calling her name.

------------

Y/n looked around the living area of Peter's apartment, why he didn't know. It wasn't like it was his first time there after all, he had visited lots of times before. This time felt different for some reason though.

"Did you want something to drink?"

'Poor Peter,' Y/n thought, 'He looks just as nervous as I felt earlier.'

"I brought snacks and the makings for hot chocolate for our movie marathon. I can set up here while you sort out the drinks? Or are we watching in your room?"

Y/n handed over the bag that had the drink things in it and was pointed to the couch.

"Thank goodness you didn't have to patrol tonight. Are you sure it's okay to take the whole night off?"

"Yeah, I got someone to cover for me."

Y/n nodded and set about organising the snacks.

It didn't take them long to get settled with the assortment of snacks on the coffee table in front of them, their drinks close by and a movie playing on the TV.

It was a little awkward with neither of them wanting to step over any boundaries, especially with Peter's aunt sitting up at the table, but some time during the first movie they managed to relax enough to lean against each other.

By the time that the second movie was half finished Y/n was laying with his head on Peter's lap, no longer paying any attention to the movie because Peter was giving him the most amazing head massage and running his hands through Y/n's hair.

------------

May made her way into the lounge area on her way out for her shift, but stopped at the sight that met her.

Peter and Y/n were curled up together on the couch fast asleep. She melted and tried not to coo too hard as she fished out her phone.

This called for proof, whether to blackmail or embarrass was still up for grabs.

As she closed the door and locked it from the outside, May was once again thankful that Peter wasn't the type to take advantage of being alone with someone he liked, so she didn't have to worry about them getting up to things they might not be ready for.

-----------

Bonus Scene

-----------

Mrs Rodrigez had been walking back from her daily walk down to the corner shop. She would never let on, but half the reason she made the time to come down each day was to see the sweet young man who always insisted on helping her cross the street.

She was surprised, and a little suspicious of the person who approached her that particular evening at the cross walk. Whoever they were, they were not her 'friendly neighbourhood spiderman' as he always insisted he was.

This man was wearing what appeared to be hardened red leather in an all over suit. He was also a lot older than her normal escort judging by his height and broad shoulders.

He had a very bad homemade cosplay mask of spiderman over what looked like another mask.

The man (she assumed) got close enough for her to read the words scrawled hastily across his chest in a messy hand.

'Spiderman! No really!'

Mrs Rodrigez fixed the man with a steely stare. She was 78, and like all older ladies, carried a large handbag that was filled with mostly useless junk that was just begging to be swung at him if he pulled anything she didn't like.

He had already gotten higher on her 'list' by pretending to be the younger vigilante. He was on thin ice as far as she was concerned.

"Hi! I can't help but notice that you are a helpless little old lady possibly in need of assistance across the street!"

The man offered her an arm, but was met with that steely stare being upped to an outright glare as she pulled him in close enough by that very same arm, to be nose to nose.

"If you've done anything to that sweet young man they will never find your body!"

[obeiii-mee]

Hi there! Im back, tysm for doing my HC ;;/ it was super cute, i really liked Mammons and Satans!! If you dont mind if i ask for another? Hdjsks Recently, i slipped while walking home with some pals and scrapped my knee. It wasnt too bad, but it sure looked bad lmao If you can could you do HCs for the boys reacting to MC slipping and scrapping there knee while walking w them? Im sure Mammon would have a heart attack hfjd Tysm!! Keep up the good work♡

Thank you so much! I hope your knee gets better and that it wasn’t too painful! The brothers would all be panicking in their own way but I agree, Mammon would faint or something lmao.

Hope this was OK.

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who fell and scraped their knee:

Lucifer:

-It was a miracle you managed to convince him to come out on a walk with you at all

-The man doesn’t know when to take a break from his work

-He’s more likely to accept if it’s you asking tho, he has an obvious soft spot for you

-The others call him a suck up behind his back because of it

-You were so happy that you managed to pry Lucifer away from his desk, you were basically skipping alongside him

-Long story short, you tripped over your own two feet and fell

-Luckily, your knees and palms were the only things that got a bit scruffy

-Well, actually your right knee looked as if someone tried removing your entire knee cap with a scalpel, skin and all but adrenaline was kicking in and you couldn’t feel much

-You’ve never seen Lucifer freeze the way he did then

-His mind just drew a blank

-You were about to shrug it off and call it a day, get up and continue your walk but daddy Lucifer can’t have that

-He has six younger brothers (and a younger sister at some point) he is pretty experienced when it comes to treating injuries

-You aren’t walking for the rest of the day, let me make this clear

-He will carry you back to the House of Lamentation no matter how much you protest

-In case it wasn’t obvious already, Lucifer gives off massive dad vibes and now he’s bandaging your leg while you’re laying down on his bed

-While the rest of the brothers watch the two of you from behind the door frame because they are all equally worried

-Get ready for the three hour lecture coming your way

-He’s pissed and amused at the same time tbh

-Silly human, falling over like that and hurting themselves

-Lord Diavolo forbid you try to get out of that bed, he will drag you back and make sure you stay there until your knee is better (kinky)

Mammon:

-He was on his merry way to the casino to blow off all of Lucifer’s money and you tagged along solely for the purpose of making sure he didn’t spend all of Lucifer’s money

-You’d both be done for if he did

-But I guess fate really had it out for you on that day since your foot slipped on....something and you tripped

-Both of your knees looked bloody and damaged as hell but you were more irritated than anything

-Mammon on the other hand did a fucking double take and almost passed out

-He screeched his lungs out

-One look at your injured knees and he was ready to drag you all the way to the human realm on foot to find you a doctor

-“MC ARE YOU OK WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH BLOO-HOLY SHIT STAY STILL DON’T MOVE! THE GREAT MAMMON WILL FIX THIS...SOMEHOW.”

-It was very dramatic, he cried

-You stood up to prove that you were alright because you thought he was going to have a seizure soon enough

-OK, that helped him calm down a little

-At least now he knew your legs weren’t about to get torn off and you weren’t on the verge of death

-Fuck the casino, you were going home

-Like Lucifer, don’t expect you will walk home by yourself

-He will carry you, a bit embarrassed by his initial freak out but still eyeing your wound, concerned

-As soon as you get home and the other brothers help you out because he’s shit at bandaging, he just sits in his own pool of misery and guilt

-Your poor knees wouldn’t be so jacked up if you hadn’t come along with him today

-He was so determined to make it up to you, he stayed by your bedside like a loyal puppy with a wagging tail (flashback to the animal event)

-Overall, he almost went into cardiac arrest and was too panicked to realise you were fine

-You thought he was smothering and overprotective before? Good luck for the rest of the week

Levi:

-“See, this is why I don’t like going out. There’s always some normie laying on the groun- OH MY LORD DIAVOLO, MC IS THAT YOU?? ARE YOU OK?”

-HIS HENRY ALMOST DIED ON THE NEWLY POLISHED FLOOR OF AN ANIME CONVENTION, HE HAS VERY MIXED EMOTIONS

-You fell knees first and hurt them quiet badly but you could stand, even if the pain made you twitch a little

-This confused Levi because you looked fine even though your knees certainly didn’t

-You told him you felt alright and it wasn’t that big of a deal and he absolutely rolled with it

-But you guys still went home after that

-He said it was because you bled all over your cosplay but that’s just him being a tsundere

-Levi is usually very shy when it comes to physical contact but he firmly insisted that he help you walk home

-I mean, he knows you said you were feeling OK and maybe humans just have a lot of tolerance for injuries like that

-But he still felt it was necessary that he took you home and checked out your injuries

-He kept the mood light while disinfecting you’re wound with some help from Satan by talking about how the convention went

-High low-key relieved seeing you walk around like normal two minutes after that

-He started bitching to you about how you made him miss his the event but he didn’t mean any of it

-“Stupid normie, making me miss my favourite Ruri-chan event. You’re lucky I love you and think you’re cute....did I just say that out loud??”

Satan:

-Oh dear, why would you go out for a walk in the middle of a rainstorm? What were you thinking?

-Actually, it was Satan’s idea

-He may be a demon and the prince of Wrath no less, but he is such a sappy, cheesy bastard at times

-He definitely thinks that walking and kissing in the rain is very romantic (bet he read something like that in an erotica)

-You know what’s not romantic blondie? Slipping on a very small puddle and potentially fracturing your leg

-It was just a scraped knee but you were frustrated enough to be extra

-He’s helping you up before you even have the chance to realise you fell in the first place

-Your knee was looking pretty bad so you guys went home just to avoid any further casualties

-He’s actually chuckling all the way back while you playfully glare at him because how dare he laugh at your misery?

-Date night was ruined but at least he got to take care of you

-He knew your knee must have hurt and he felt bad but he couldn’t help but giggle a bit to himself because your fall was so comical

-Ah but he does enjoy fussing over you for the rest of the night a bit too much

Asmo:

-You thought Mammon was melodramatic?

-Take a look at this fucking guy

-He actually screeches even louder than his brother and probably falls to his knees too (but not really because those pants were expensive)

-His screams definitely got the attention of at least 10 random passerbyers

-He’s actually on the verge of crying

-I mean, can you blame him?? Look at your beautiful knees!! They were ruined

-He felt so bad for you, he actually babied the hell out of you that day

-“Asmo, it’s fine. It’s just a scrap.”

-“A SCRAP, MC IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNEE IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF YOUR POOR SKIN-“

-It was just a scrap but Asmo’s secret talent is being extra as fuck

-He totally spilled all the tea to the rest of the brothers when he got home

-And then he ushered you into his room

-Funnily enough, he’s pretty good with injuries. Not as much as Satan and Lucifer but still

-He pampered you for the next few hours but that image of your skin being all grazed like that will forever haunt him

-How can you not be so bothered by it?? He’d die if he was in your place

-I love Asmo just because of how dramatic he is

Beel:

-Your shoelaces were undone and of course that meant a fun little trip to the floor of Hell’s Kitchen

-Beel didn’t notice you fell at first, he was concentrating on his food and assumed you were next to him

-But then he realised that you weren’t and for a moment he thought you disappeared or something

-Before he turned to find you laying on the floor, curled up because life was pain and you were suffering

-“Are you OK? Or are you just tired? Belphie does that a lot when he’s tired.” Or depressed one might say

-But for real, he’s good at identifying serious wounds and less serious wounds since he’s an athlete

-He can tell your knees were bleeding way more than they should have from just a simple scrap

-He slinged you over his shoulder and carried you, calmly, back home, with a burger still in his hand

-He’s actually really collective and talked to you while cleaning up your injury to take your mind off the pain

-He knows humans are a little more fragile than demons so even though he knows it’s not a big deal, he can’t help but worry

-It’s kinda hard falling around him tho because chances are, he will actually catch you even if he happens to hold something

-He’s sad if you’re sad so please don’t cry he will bandage your scraped knee do you want the last bit of his burger to make you feel better?

-Comfort hugs afterwards!

-Which is awesome because Beel gives out best hugs :)

Belphie:

-Ah yes, another beautiful day at RAD

-Walking alongside with your grumpy and sleepy boyfriend when a random demon bumps into you

-Wel not bumps, more like shoves you so hard you fall down and tear the fabric of your pants

-While the dude shrugs it off and speeds away

-You were a bit pissed off because rude

-But Belphie was fucking fuming

-He felt so offended on your part

-I mean, the nerve of him

-He was tired as shit but he wanted to chase after him and throw hands, possibly fill his pillow with rocks and hit him over the head with it

-He forced himself to focus on you first before hunting the moron down

-He was a bit concerned when he didn’t see you come back up after you fell

-Turns out, you scraped your knee pretty horribly and now you were bleeding all over the floor

-He’s even more quiet than usual as he helps you up and half carries you to your next class

-He starts taking care of your knee in the middle of DevilDom history he doesn’t give a flying fuck

-He’s still furious by the time he gets home and most of his brothers know to leave him be when he makes that scary ass face

-No talk to him

-He angy

-“Does your knee still hurt?”

-“A bit but it’s not-“

-“Come nap with me.”

-“Why?”

-“Naps shall cure your pain.”

-“...”

-“Nah but for real come take a nap with me.”

-Next day at school, the dude from yesterday walks by him and Belphie smashes his head against the wall

-Before walking away as if nothing happened

-I stan protective Belphie

These HCs are really bad but I love them anyway

Al~

[gothighunicorntolerance]

At last, my Big Bang fic!

When Roman and his friends go hiking, they expect to see some birds, some lizards, maybe a deer if they were lucky- not a hidden cave with a sleeping person inside, unable to be woken up by anyone. His friends decide to let the sleeping person stay put, but there’s some feeling Roman just can’t shake off. Red chapter one below, and the full fic on AO3, accompanied by amazing art by @littlebigmouse

taglist: @theimprobabledreamersworld @edupunkn00b @ts-storytime

AO3 link

art post

The tranquility of the forest was quickly interrupted by the banter of several people standing by a parked car, their faces illuminated by the pink-tinted full moon low on the horizon.

“Come at me, Mothman! I have a very juicy ass you would LOVE!”

“Remus, you IDIOT. Mothman lives in West Virginia!”

“Well what about the skunk ape, Virgil? Don't you want to see the Skunk Ape? SKUNK APE! SKUNK APE!” He chanted, his voice echoing in the parking lot.

“Remus, would you shut up?!” Roman shoved his brother. “We are actually going to try and find wildlife like deer and stuff, and that’s not going to happen if you keep shouting for cryptids to fuck you.”

The rest of the group sighed collectively at the antics of the twins, though Roman didn’t pay much attention to his friends’ groaning.

“Anyways,” Roman said louder than necessary. “Logan, you have the compass, right?”

“Of course. I also brought several yards of paracord, just in case. And also cereal bars, batteries, and water.”

“Thank you for being the responsible one,” Roman laughed. “Virgil, it’s your job to make sure that the entire state of Florida doesn’t find out that my brother is a monster fucker.”

Virgil groaned. “You know that’s going to be impossible.”

“Just punch him when you think he’s about to say something stupid.”

“Oh, like this?” Virgil smacked Remus in the arm.

“Ow!” Remus groaned.

“Well, I thought you were about to say something stupid.”

“Can we please just get on with our hiking-adventure-whatever you’re calling it?” Janus spoke up.

“Please.” Logan agreed.

“O-KAY! Into the woods!” Roman sang.

The five hikers walked down the small dirt path, the mud from last night’s storm splashing their ankles. The colors of the sunset were barely visible through the branches of the trees, which cast long shadows onto the ground and Roman still quietly humming all parts of the song by himself.

As Roman’s song ended, trailing off into the instrumental bits, Remus had finally shut up about various cryptids, and the only sounds were the squelching of mud sticking to their shoes and the occasional snap of a stick or crunch of a fallen leaf underfoot.

The May nights were cool and humid, so most days like this, Roman wore cheaper jeans and a hoodie that he was willing to throw away if it got too dirty or torn.

About half an hour into their adventure-hike, Logan silently passed around flashlights to everyone, which Roman gladly accepted. It had gotten dark quickly, to the point where Roman had been barely able to see his feet.

Suddenly, Virgil, who was in front, stopped.

“Deer,” he whispered, aiming his flashlight into the trees.

Roman followed the flashlight beam onto a huge buck, its pelt speckled with mud and antlers extending far beyond its ears.

“The inside spread is over twelve inches,” Logan whispered.

“That’s big, right?” Janus asked.

“Yes, it is. The largest recorded spread in the state of Florida was nineteen and a half inches.”

Roman knew that Remus was about to open his mouth and say something stupid, and apparently, so did Virgil, because Remus groaned again after he was hit in the shoulder, the rest of the group snickering.

The deer eventually ran away, and the group continued on until the dirt path ended.

“Hey, look at this!” Virgil waved the group over to where he was standing, shining his flashlight into a large opening in the side of a rockface.

Roman jogged over and looked into the cave- as far as the flashlight illuminated, he could see moss and other plants clinging to wet stone.

“I haven’t seen this before- I think I’d remember,” Janus commented.

“It must have been uncovered by erosion from the storm last night,” Logan added in.

“Let’s go in!” Roman and Remus said at the same time, grinning at each other. They might not agree on much, but when it came to deciding whether or not to explore a creepy-looking cave, the answer was always going to be yes.

“Don’t you think we should- never mind,” Virgil sighed as the twins started swinging their flashlights across the wet ground of the cave.

“Look at this!” Remus whisper-shouted to Roman, pointing out some kind of slime growing on a rock.

“That is disgusting, put it down or I’m not letting you in the car,” Roman said as Remus began to poke the slime.

Remus stuck his tongue out at his brother but reluctantly stopped poking the unfamiliar growth. Roman turned around to see that the rest of the group had followed them in.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Virgil asked worriedly. “I mean, this cave wasn’t here before, and we might be the first living things to step in here in maybe hundreds of years.”

“And this is how people find monster boyf- OW!” Virgil once again took it upon himself to hit Remus in the arm to stop him from talking about various cryptids in a non-child-friendly manner.

“Caves such as this one are particularly interesting because you never know what you might find- oh, look!” Logan pointed to another small opening at the back of the cave.

“I’m going to crawl through!” Roman declared after the group had spent a minute or so deciding what to do.

Roman got on his hands and knees and started to wedge himself through the opening, quite aware that he would likely have to put his clothes through more than one wash cycle to get the stains out. He bit down on the flashlight, illuminating what was in front of him, but only barely.

When there was finally room for Roman to stand, he turned and called through the opening, “I’m fine! You can come through, it’s safe!”

The second part of the cave was much wider than the first part, and Roman was able to stand without hunching over.

Swinging his flashlight across the ground, Roman suddenly gasped.

There was a man laying on the ground, hands folded across his chest, dressed in- were those robes?

“Guys…? You might want to see this…” Roman called out again, his voice shaking.

“Ro? Are you okay- HOLY SHIT!” Janus crawled through, his eyes wide with disbelief and perhaps a little fear.

Remus and Virgil came through next, Remus uncharacteristically silent, his mouth open in an ‘o.’

Logan was the last to crawl through, and he, like everyone else, stood silent, looking at the figure laying in the center of the cave, arms crossed over their chest and wings spread out- Roman rubbed his eyes. This couldn’t be real- he couldn’t have found some guy in a cave that hadn’t been touched in years!

Maybe they had gotten drunk or something and put on a very realistic-looking cosplay and then ran through the woods? Remus had done odder things, so it couldn’t be completely ruled out.

Janus slowly walked up to the figure, stepping over the silken blue robes and putting his hand on their neck, careful not to knock off the wire framed glasses.

“There’s a pulse, but it’s really faint.” Janus announced to the group. “They’re definitely not dead.” The hikers stepped closer to the sleeping person, forming a circle around them but careful to not touch the giant gray bird wings sprouting from their back. Roman noticed a strand of curly brown hair had fallen into their eyes, and resisted the urge to reach out and tuck the strand of hair behind their ear.

After a moment of silence, Roman spoke up. “Should we… try to wake them up? I mean, what else should we do?”

Roman was careful not to touch the sleeping person. Roman wouldn’t admit it, but he was afraid there would be some kind of horror movie scene- where as soon as he got close enough, they would sit up and try to murder him. Or something like that.

Logan crouched and tapped his phone, and the default alarm sound echoed through the cave. The person didn’t stir.

Virgil stepped up next, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle and pouring the contents onto their face. “Seriously? Nothing?” Virgil muttered.

“Let me try,” Janus said, grabbing the person’s shoulder and shaking them.

“Alright,” Remus said, stepping forward and rolling up his sleeve. He looked up at Roman, grinning, before bringing his arm down to the person’s face and slapping them on the cheek. Roman cringed at the echo it created, but there was still no reaction from them.

“How the fuck did that not work?” Remus stared at the still-sleeping person.

“Heavy sleeper?” Roman suggested.

“Coma?”

“Dead?”

“Are we about to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved?”

“Underlying medical condition?”

“Alright, it’s your turn, Prince Charming. Go do a true love’s kiss on the guy. You never know,” Remus laughed.

“No way! I’m not touching that guy with my finger, let alone my mouth!” Roman protested as Remus tried to drag him over.

Another beat of silence passed before Virgil spoke up. “I think we should leave. This dude’s probably not okay, and I don’t want to have to call the police or paramedics. I don’t want to get involved in anything, whether this guy is just stoned or in a coma or whatever.”

“Yeah.” Roman said after a minute of consideration. “You’re right. I don’t want to get involved. We should just- I dunno, leave the guy here? Maybe check later to see if they’re okay? I mean, they’re not dead.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, and soon crawled back out the way they came. Roman exited last, and couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder at the sleeping figure. A small part of him wanted to stay behind, try and wake them up.

But Roman ignored that feeling and left the cave with the rest of his group.

Once the group srood back on the path, all a little shaken or confused from what they had just seen, Roman said, “let’s all just go back home. If we want to, we’ll come back next week or whenever to make sure the guy’s either okay or gone, but for now just leave it alone.”

Roman said the last part for himself, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that he was missing something. He shook his head and followed Logan and Janus, who had already started walking back to the parking lot through the wet grass and still-sticky mud. Even in the dim light, Roman could tell the two of them were holding hands. Roman opened his mouth to tease the two of them but thought better of it. They had all just seen something pretty weird in that cave (Roman was still trying to decide what he really saw), and Logan and Janus hadn’t announced that they were together, probably for the exact reason that Roman would tease them.

Oh well, there would be plenty of moments for teasing later. For now, Roman just focused on dragging his feet along the muddy path back to the car, though he kept glancing over his shoulder. He told himself that it was to keep an eye on Remus and Virgil and make sure they were still behind him, but the nagging feeling that he had forgotten something still lingered.

[jasthelazyelf]

All the Obey me! boys discovering MC has kosmemophobia

Turns out I really have to write overly specific scenarios myself, so here I am. This was my first time writing headcanons, it’s more difficult than it looks like, but I managed! It also turned out way longer than I thought it’d be.

Kosmemophobia: a “fear” of jewelry. People with kosmemophobia will either not wear any jewelry at all, or may be comfortable with wearing non-metallic jewelry. Touching or being touched by jewelry makes these people feel somehow dirty (even though we know majority of jewelry is sanitized), uncomfortable, and will make people want to wash that part of their body it touched. People (dare I say mostly afab) usually notice it early on in their childhood. It is not known what makes people kosmemophobic atm, considering people have it since early childhood.

If you have further questions about it, feel welcome to ask. :)

Total word count: 4800-ish 

Gender of MC is not mentioned

Slight season 2 spoiler alert in Simeon’s part

Warning for verbally abusive parents in Belphie’s part

You have been warned.

Lucifer

He wanted to make the shopping trip enjoyable for the both of you, but especially for you

 He just wanted to take you on a date somewhere where his brothers wouldn’t constantly interfere, even if it was only for a few hours

You two were just window shopping at the mall when Lucifer decided to take you into one of the stores

 It was a store with magical items, from stones to a number of different trinkets, including jewelry

Somehow this was the part he was most interested in in the whole shop

Watching him look over it, especially necklaces made you feel uncomfortable and you had a feeling you knew where this was going

With what little hope you had, you subtly tried to nudge him away, but he wouldn’t budge

He finally took one of the necklaces out of the display and turned towards you

"What do you think? Wouldn’t it suit you?“

en he saw your eyes widen and you taking a step back, a shiver running down your spine, he was taken aback. Did he do something?

"Is something wrong? You don’t like it? It’s fine to just say so.“

 Oh well, you would have to tell him one day, right?

"N-no, that’s not exactly it, it’s just that just the thought of wearing jewelry or even touching it is making me uncomfortable. I know it’s weird, but please don’t make me do this…“

Well this he did not expect at all. He put the necklace back and putting one hand around you, he turned you around and moved to a part of the shop with crystals and rocks of all different colours instead

 "I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Let’s look over something else.“

You smiled at him and nodded. You had him curious about this fear of yours, he might have asked later on to give you more details on it.

Whether you are comfortable with sharing information about this with him or not, he respects your fear and does his best not to make you uncomfortable in the future

Mammon

-          Chaotic snuggle boy was all about protecting you and also hugging you, especially when in private where none of his brothers could see

-          It dawned on him pretty quickly that something about you was strange when you sometimes flinched every time he touched your skin

-          It wasn’t every time, and he just couldn’t understand the pattern

-          One day he had had enough, he just couldn’t wrap his head around it, it was driving him absolutely crazy

-          He finally mustered enough courage to ask you

-          "Oi, human, what is it with ya flinchin‘ when I touch ya?“

-          Damn… he noticed after all. You were trying to hide your phobia as much as you could, but you couldn’t help yourself. Well, better come up with the truth now

-          "Hah, w-well it’s not you, I swear. It’s gonna sound weird, but it’s your rings. The feel of them on my skin feels… uncomfortable.“

-          You tried to explain the feeling as best as you could, mostly how touching jewelry just makes you… want to wash your hands and the feeling appears also on other parts on your body

-          First he blinked in surprise, but listened to your explanation

-          Suddenly it all made sense. He only wore his rings on his right hand. You only flinched when he touched your skin with his right hand. How could he not notice this detail sooner?

-          Well, now he knows. He asks you if you’d rather he didn’t wear them near you.

-          If you say you’re going to hopefully get used to it over time, he will keep wearing them, but sometimes takes them off on his own

-          If you state that you’d rather not have to touch them, he will keep in mind to take them off before going for snuggles

-          Doesn’t really think much about it afterwards, he just takes it as a fact

Leviathan

-          Your birthday was getting closer and Leviathan wanted to get you a gift, but didn’t have many ideas

-          So he decided to invite you over to his room to watch some anime and play games, so that he could subtly take the conversation where he wanted and get an idea of what you might be interested in

-          When watching anime, he saw that you really liked the main character

-          Well what a coincidence! He totally imagined you cosplaying the main character and him cosplaying the character’s best friend. Duo cosplays are always the best!

-          "Oh! I once saw a set of their pendants and bracelets as a set on Akuzon! Wouldn’t it be a nice beginning of another cosplay?“

-          Your face completely changed its expression and you tensed when he mentioned it

-          This, of course, didn’t go unnoticed. Was he wrong all along? Did he assume wrongly that you liked the character? Do you actually not like the character at all?

-          Panic intensifies

-          "Oh no, I am sorry, if you don’t like the character, maybe we can cosplay another duo? Forget I said anything about it-“

-          "Levi… calm down, it’s not that I don’t like the character. It’s just the jewelry I am uncomfortable with.“

-          Oh

-          OH

-          Just like- nevermind, even though he probably watched the majority of anime in existence, he couldn’t remember a character who’s trait this would be

-          You tell him it’s okay, it’s a very rare phobia and not even that known

-          May ask a few questions about it and if there is a loophole for it

-          Either way, the idea of getting you jewelry gets thrown out of the window

-          For you birthday, he gets you and him matching hoodies

-          They‘re so soft

Satan

-          That day, Satan invited you on a date to his favourite bookstore

-          You were totally up for it, who knows, maybe you’d find something really interesting

-          Or something that is SO stupid that you just wouldn’t be able to not get it (Yes, I have one such book, I love/hate it so much)

-          He decided to také you to a bookstore you haven’t been to yet. Yay, more adventure! New store layout! So many possibilities!

-          You were browsing through bookshelves, Satan sometimes told about a few books he has in his own room that this bookstore also had

-          Suddenly he spotted someone and got rather excited

-          It turns out it was one of his aquintances and he wanted to introduce them to you. It was an elegant demon, by the looks of it quite rich

-          You were soon told they were one of the best selling authors of the Devildom, with a rather original, but easy to read writing style, which was probably how they got so famous

-          They wanted to shake your hand as a sign of politeness

-          When you saw the massive rings and bracelets on their hand, you gulped and widened your eyes

-          You didn’t want to be impolite, though, so you decided to shake their hand anyway

-          You couldn’t get the feeling of metal out of your hand and you wanted to go to the restroom to wash your hands real quick

-          Satan noticed you were getting tense as you tried to subtly rub your hand with your other hand and ended the conversation smoothly and took you aside

-          "Is there something wrong? Did they hurt you? You can ask for an apology if they did.“

-          You had to smile at this assumption. It warmed your heart to know Satan cared about you

-          "No, it’s just… have you seen all that jewelry? I am not saying they shouldn’t wear it, it’s their choice, but for me that was a living nightmare.“

-          Well he was glad they didn’t hurt you in any way. He was a bit surprised by your explanation and truth be told, he got very curious

-          After you quickly wash your your hands in the nearby restroom, he wants to know more about your phobia.

-          How long do you have it? How much does it affect your life? How did you find the right term? Do you personally know other people with this condition?

-          And so many more. Feel free to tell him there have already been too many questions answered and that you could continue another day in this interview. He’s already thrilled.

Asmodeus

-          You both planned the perfect spa day together

-          After all, who’d know more how to make you completely relaxed, if not Asmo?

-          You end up having lots of fun and you feel SO GOOD and relaxed after you’re all done

-          You hair has never been so very well taken care of, no matter you lenght or type, he probably gives you some useful advice you’ve never heard of yourself, bt it seems to be working, so why not?

-          And your skin is finally properly moisturized

-          All right, what now? Asmo doesn’t want this moment to end yet, he loves hanging out with you and you still had time

-          You end up visiting Majolish and trying on different clothes, even if it’s just for fun. Asmo loves picking out clothes for you and he really does have a good eye for what would suit you

-          You ended up putting on your 20th outfit. Asmo looked at you and thought for a bit. Something was missing.

-          Yes, sure, the outfit was nice and all, but it was missing something… but what?

-          He suddenly got an idea. He ran off for a bit and soon returned with something in his hands

-          When he got cloce to you again, you realized it was a set of small thin elegant bracelet and a metallic necklace to go with it

-          Your blood froze and you started to back away slowly, putting your arms up in defense and shaking your head

-          "What’s wrong? Do you think it’s too much? Maybe even too little?“

-          Before he could run off again for something different that could be to your taste, you quickly stopped him before he could do so

-          "No, wait, the jewelry… is pretty and you’re right it would go well with this outfit. But I am not willing to wear any jewelry. At all. It’s a very rare phobia and I can’t do much with it.“

-          You were surprised this hasn’t come up sooner, but oh well, it happened now

-          Asmo looked a bit disappointed at first, but upon hearing it’s a phobia, his expression softened and he gave you a little smile

-          "O-oh! All right, back this goes, then! The outfit looks good even without it, I just thought it would be a nice touch, that’s all!“

-          You smiled and nodded in acknowledgment

-          He would definitely question you later if it bothered you on others as well and how much. He’ll make a note to himself to wear as little jewelry as possible when spending time with you, depending what you’re comfortable with

Beelzebub

-          You were just meeting everyone in the human world for the first time

-          You were so excited, you had no idea you would ring the bell and Asmo would open the door

-          Everyone started greeting their favourite human like they haven’t seen you in years, when it’s probably been just a few weeks at most

-          These babies

-          Beel wasn’t home at the time, so you decided to surprise him and wanted to make his favourite human world food

-          Luckily, they already had enough ingrediants in the kitchen, so you didn’t have to go shopping as the first thing you’d do

-          Just as you finished, Beel came home. He got very excited to see you again

-          He took off his jacket and- oh no

-          He wanted to hug you, as was his habit even when in the Devildom, but upon seeing that heavy necklace, you had to move up your hands in defence

-          He got confused. Did he sweat too much and stinks now? Did you not like him anymore for whatever reason?

-          The biggest baby made confused puppy eyes, he just wanted to greet you

-          „Ah, I am sorry, could you please take the necklace off? Jewelry and especially jewelry like that makes me uncomfortable when I touch it.“

-          He sighed in relief. You didn’t hate him after all.

-          He quickly ran off, presumably to his room and came back in a minute, now without the chain necklace

-          You smiled happily and opened your arms, an invitation for him to hug and greet you

-          And he sure did!

-          He was just happy he could hug you again without you feeling uneasy about the situation

-          Doesn’t really ask anything else, just in case you’re not okay with talking about it, but he keeps that fact in mind and is now rarely seen with the chain on

Belphegor

-          You were once more taking a nap together. It became a pleasurable habit of yours to join Belphie. After all, you didn’t have to do anything and got some sweet sweet cuddles. What could be better?

-          Well, you finally managed to fall asleep

-          And Belphie got curious about your dreams, so he decided to visit your dream for once.

-          He was really there just to observe, he didn’t want to interfere with anything

-          He wondered what you’d dream about

-          Was it something really sweet? Would you go on an adventure to find the root of youth? Would you be enjoying a swim in a pool? Maybe you’d meet your friends from the human world

-          The posibilities were endless

-          What he didn’t count with, though, was the possibility of you having a nightmare

-          You seemed to be having a fight with two older humans. Maybe they were your parents?

-          You tried to persuade them not to make you wear the massive necklace the woman was holding

-          They had absolutely none of it

-          "Please, just don’t make me wear it. It’s not like it’s mandatory, nothing will really happen if I don’t put it on!“

-          „Nonsense! You need to! We chose this for you before you were even born, how dare you not want to wear it!“

-          "This youth, I swear, what is it that you want?! That it’s not made of silver?! OF GOLD?! Huh? Is that it? Are you really that spoiled?!“

-          "You don’t understand, I wouldn’t wear it even if it was made of the rarest metal ever! Why is it so difficult to understand it!“

-          Belphie was taken aback. He had no idea you were dealing with a struggle like that. When he thought about it, he realized you never wore any jewelry to anything, you always kept it simple with fabric patterns

-          He wondered if this dream was inspired by real life events

-          Why couldn’t some humans understand the boundaries of others was a hard thing for him to grasp

-          He decided to leave the dream and wake up for a bit. He felt you shivering and when he raised his head, he saw a pair of tears running down your cheeks

-          He hugged you tighter and fell asleep again, joining you in your dream

-          You were now alone, angry and upset at your parents

-          He came up to you and started to calm you down. You appreciated it. He couldn’t deny his curiousity and asked about the situation

-          Truns out talking about it helped you calm down more than anything and he spent the rest of the dream with you

Diavolo

-          Diavolo invited you over to hang out

-          He normally doesn’t have much time off, but since he took a liking to you, he managed to persuade Barbatos to give him more free time to be with you

-          Or he just straight up slacks from his work, he doesn’t really care

-          After sitting in the garden for a while and just catching up with each other, you suggested making anouther castle tour

-          Seriously, the castle is huge, you couldn’t fully enjoy it in a day or two, it took a while

-          He hapilly obliged, he knew the whole castle like the back of his hand

-          And there were so many stories connected to different parts of the castle

-          You loved listening to these stories, it was almost like a proffesional castle tour

-          Private, and for free and told by the actual owner

-          By now you at least vaguely remembered some of the more important royals except for Dia, Barbatos and the brothers. Maybe not in detail, but you can at least say you’ve already heard the name before

-          Today he decided to show you the treasury. You were curious what you’d see and if it also held some interesting stories to be told

-          Once the guards let you inside, you found yourself in a huge room with display boxes. Some of them were open

-          Inside the boxes was… jewelry. All different kinds, sizes and colours. You started to look over them

-          You admired the pieces for the fine craftmanship, you really did. Some of them were beautiful and breathtaking

-          Dia saw your awe and wanted you to experience as much as you can

-          "If you want, you can try some of them on, it’s okay.“ He beamed happily

-          You had to laugh a little. You got a bit nervous, but decided to calmly deny his proposition

-          "Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful pieces. The composition of some looks really nice! Some look so mild, yet they still say royalty. It’s almost as if it were engraved on them. But I am happy to just admire from aback, wearing jewelry makes my skin crawl. It’s something I’ve been dealing with my whole life.“

-          He nods

-          "That’s perfectly fine, too. I wouldn’t want to make you upset.“

-          He wonders if it is perhaps a common human thing and when you explain it’s extremely rare, he gets excited because he gets to experience something through you that is not common.

-          The rarity of this phobia makes him curious, so he may have some questions, but not as many as Satan

Barbatos

-          OH HE FINALLY GOT A DAY OFF

-          He needed it. He wouldn’t have ever admitted it, but he got slightly clumsier that day, which didn’t go without Diavolo noticing

-          He protested at first, but had to accept his fate anyway, because Diavolo insisted he take the day off

-          You wanted to spend the day in the mall and visit different shops to observe the differences between the Devildom and the Human world

-          You were supposed to write an essay about differences between these two worlds for the Human studies 101 subject

-          Why you had to take THAT class was completely unknown to you, but you attended anyway. I mean come on, those were some easy grades for you, since you were brought up there

-          And so Barbatos joined you on your adventure through the mall

-          Although there were some differences, most of the shops were similar to what you knew

-          Restaurants, cafés, boutiques, wine bars, adult toys stores, book stores, you name it

-          What you didn’t have in the human world was obviously magic tool stores, potion stores and potion igredients stores

-          Barbatos seemed to really enjoy talking about some of the peculiar potions that caught your eye, be it for their vibrant colours or the fact that some seemes to have sparkles in them

-          At last, you managed to come by goldsmith’s. When you saw this shop, you acted like you didn’t and went on your way to a tea house Barbatos suggested visiting after your tour

-          This surprised barbatos, since you spent some time at least writing the name of the shop down to make a note of it, but you weren’t even acknowledging the existence of this one store in particular

-          Once you both got yor tea in the tea house, he couldn’t help but ask why you just did that

-          "Oh, me and jewelry are old enemies. I don’t like wearing or even touching it, I just always want to wash my hands afterwards. I guess it’s sort of like your relationship with rats.“

-          When you mentioned rats, a shiver ran down his spine and immediately understood what you meant. He just took it as a part of you, the person he adored so much and didn’t qestion it any longer

-          He just suggested if you ever needed to vent, he’d be there for you

Solomon

-          You two made plans to bond together in his room in Purgatory Hall after school to let off some steam and vent to each other like human to human

-          This became a semi weekly tradition for you two, you both enjoyed it and you were glad you could relate to another human being

-          You were also staying for dinner that day, luckily for everyone, it was Simeon’s turn to cook

-          Don’t think he didn’t try to swap with him just so he could "impress“ you, though, he totally did

-          You were glad Simeon didn’t budge

-          After eating your meal, you both just flopped onto the couch and just decided to relax a bit

-          In silence

-          He enjoyed these silent moments, the joy of doing nothing together

-          You two soon drifted off to sleep on the couch, so when Simeon was about to tell you it was time to get you back to the House of Lamentation, and found you two asleep next to each other like that, he let Lucifer know you’d be staying the night with them

-          When you woke up and checked your D.D.D. you  almost jumped out of your skin, but then saw the message from Lucifer knowing about your situation through Simeon

-          You decided to scroll through social media, while Solomon was still sleeping

-          He soon woke up when he heard you looking through memes and trying not to laugh. You were failing miserably, though

-          Oh well, what’s done is done, now he is watching you scroll and when you find something funny, you both laugh, but not too loud, to not wake up Luke. It was around 11PM after all

-          Whenever you scrolled past an ad that was advertising jewelry, Solomon noticed you were furrowing your brows every time you found one

-          What’s more, you even hid the ads, hoping you wouldn’t get another one, but they just kept coming

-          You groaned

-          "Do they really bother you that much?“ Solomon asked sleepily

-          "I normally don’t bat an eye when I see an ad, but I do not and have never worn any jewelry, since I have kosmemophobia and touching or wearing it makes me uncomfortable. But even if I keep hiding these, they just keep popping up like they want to change my mind about it. I would much rather have ads for overprized pencil sharpeners.“

-          Well that was something he didn’t know about you. And he couldn’t even say he knew people that had the same problem as you, since he either didn’t notice it or he really just never met anyone like that

-          He asked a few questions about it, since he didn’t know anything about this phobia, and was glad he could learn something new. Even better that it was about you

Simeon

-          You decided to have picnic in a park

-          Not the most private setting but it’d do

-          You were just chatting about your lives, you mostly telling stories from the House of Lamentation, him mostly talking about his ideas for a new story

-          You were his huge inspiration and sometimes he straight up wrote down one of your stories. He assured you he would mention you as a co-author if he ever decided to publish those

-          It was getting rather late, so you packed up, carefully put all the plates and bowls back into the big basket and folded the blanket you’ve been sitting on the whole day

-          When heading back to the Purgatory Hall, he mostly talked about Luke’s different pastries. Just the description made you hyped up and you wondered if he was making something at that moment

-          You know he did. When you got back, your nose was hit with the lovely smell of cinnamon and apples and you couldn’t wait to try whatever he made

-          You had to put the things on their places first, though

-          Simeon asked you to put the basket to its place and you agreed. What you forgot though, was that its place was in a cupboard… too high for you to reach

-          Lucky for you, you knew a few spells and levitation was one of the first ones you purposely learned

-          Once Simeon saw you looking at the cupboard, he wanted to suggest you to take the folding stairs to help you, but you declined

-          "I want to do this alone, I know I can do it.“

-          He smiled and nodded, he knew he couldn’t change your mind

-          First you managed to open the doors and then you carefully levitated the basket to its place. While you were directing it where to go, your mind momentarily lost its concentration at the basket as you stared intensely at the Ring of Light on you hand

-          The name described it perfectly. It was literally a small band made out of pure light hugging one of your fingers. It was othwerwise incorporeal and only visibly showed when you used your magic

-          It took you a second to regain your concentration and you finally put it to its place

-          However, Simeon definitely noticed your momentary loss of composure there

-          "What made your mind wander off so suddenly?“ he asked, genuinly curious

-          "Oh it’s just… I am still not used to seeing the ring on my finger. It’s so weird, it doesn’t feel like anything, it just shines and what’s most surprising, I don’t feel like washing my hands constantly. It’s what would happen with normal jewelry. I am just not used to it, it’ll probably take some time.“

-          Huh! Okay then! He was just glad it wasn’t something you couldn’t handle

-          In all his long life he never met anyone who would openly speak about being disturbed by jewelry, so this was new experience to him

-          Will have questions, but reassures you you don’t have to answer any questions that might make you too uncomfortable

Luke

-          You two were assigned to find some rare herb that was supposed to be growing in the field

-          Fortunately it wasn’t far from Purgatory Hall so even if you somehow got lost, there was a high chance of actually finding your way back

-          While you were at it, you took it as the perfect time to bond with the young angel

-          So while you were searching, you both started weaving flower crowns

-          It was a fun activity and you even got to tell each other stories

-          You were reminiscing about the time you learned how to weave flower crowns and Luke was telling you things about the Celestial Realm and Michael

-          Once you were both finished, you put on each other’s flower crown and continued looking for the herb

-          Somehow it didn’t take too long for the two of you to find it

-          When you were picking it up, you flower crown fell from your head, but you managed to catch it… and not break it

-          Luke almost shrieked, but sighed in relief that nothing happened to it

-          "I have an idea, what if I transform these to not wilt! You know, like real crowns!“

-          With the mention of that, you just had to ask this question

-          "What would they then be out of, though? Metal? Plastic?“

-          He didn’t understand the intention of your question, so he straight up asked what you meant by that question

-          "Ah, excuse me, I’ll explain. I am kosmemophobic and especially metal jewelry makes me uncomfortable. I they were ot of plastic, though, I wouldn’t mind.“

-          Oh, well that explains it. He reassured you they would feel like out of resin, so you didn’t have to worry at all

-          Now you both have matching flower crowns and you can always remember Luke when you look at it

[misterewrites]

Intro to Caitlyn 101 (Mirror’s Edge)

Summary:  Caitlyn is a thief looking for the next big score. Used to taking wristwatches and wallets from rich folk, she's aiming to take down bigger game as she discovers the hidden magical world within her hometown. Her first mark is an unassuming shopkeeper and his collect of ancient relics. All set with a plan, Caitlyn makes her move. Though plans rarely go off without a hitch.

Hello everyone! E here, hoping you are all well and staying safe. So the next chapter of my little side project is here! Honestly wasn't planning on getting back to this so soon but I was having fun worldbuilding and character creating and here we are. You can blame my friend @hains-mae for enabling me.

Right so the next thing I write will probably be the part two to this then the next chapter of the Underground. Umm that's really it for me so have a great week, be safe, wear your mask, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Please feel free to reblog, share, leave kudos or leave comments with things you liked or feedback if you read it on a03. I promised I'd try to promote myself more and it feels weird haha.

E is out, have a great one everyone! and here’s the link to the doobly do 

---> https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/76014323

There was an arrogance that seemed deeply etched into every aspect of the magical world. She stood among valuable, ancient relics from throughout human history: Vases from Greece lined the shelf above her. A row of Roman gladius blades in various states of decay with only a flimsy glass case between them and Caitlyn’s pocket. Tarnished Victorian era slivered lockets left about like loose change.

Millions dollars worth of the past and she, a stranger, was left unattended with it all.

Technically she wasn’t supposed to be in here with the locked door and close sign but the fact in the 5 minutes it took her to pick the lock and scout the first floor without a single soul attempting to stop her really was a testimony to the haughtiness of the ‘shopkeeper’.

It had been only few months since she saw past the false reality that was superimposed onto hers and she was still readjusting: Magic was real. Elves, dwarves, little halfing folk? Real. People shooting bolts of lightning and flames while riding storm clouds? Real. The guy who kept awkwardly hitting on her every time she tried to get a hotdog from the cart at the corner? Just a regular creep BUT could’ve been magical.

Even their currency was a show of their excessive wealth: Sliver, gold, platinum coins Actual platinum traded away like it was nothing! People starving and helpless on the streets and these bastards just walked with some of the rarest metal on the planet in their pockets like chump change.

Anger bubbled within her stomach along with self righteousness and a bit of her breakfast but she took a deep calming breath, closing her bluish gray eyes. ‘Calm down Cait’ she scolded herself ‘This isn’t the first time you’ve seen excessive wealth squandered and wasted. You’re here for a job so do it and never come back.’

She glanced around the waiting room she found herself in. It was off to the side of the shopping front andthere were very few things of interest in the tiny room: Some old, tattered chairs that had seen better days. A very, very tacky abstract painting hung over a bricked up fireplace. There was a scattering of magazines older than her with loose stables and free roaming pages everywhere.

A place of show and very little use.

“Hello my angel.”

Caitlyn seized up. She had been so caught up in her rage she hadn’t been paying attention to anyone coming down the stairs. Three stories with a handful of people about and nary a sound could heard. Must be some sort of magic.

She shook herself out of her stupor, slowly exhaling to calm her nerves. She forced her lips to curve into the cutest, lost smile she could muster. She opened her purple jacket a bit further so the guy could get a clearer view of her tight white tank top and running shorts.

“Helpless. Remember you’re helpless.” She whispered to herself before whirling about, her long black hair with dyed purple coloring flowed behind her gracefully as if she was an actress in those stupid hair product commercials.

“Oh!” she spoke with mock surprise, scrunching her face cutely as possible “I’m so, so, so sorry! I’m lost and the door was open and sorry!”

She leaned forward, sheepishly scratching the back of her neck as she gave whoever it was a better view of her outfit.

Hook, line and sinker.

“No problem sweetie. No need to lie to me.”

Hook, line and sunk apparently.

She blinked, unsure if she heard what she thought she heard. She glanced up to find a strangely dressed man with the goofiest grin.

He was cute in a ‘I dress as an obscure, indie character for cosplay’kind of way: His messy, unkempt black hair sat under a black fedora. He wore a long black trench coat that had seen better days. At least he preferred more colors than black on black. His collared shirt was a nice baby blue with an equally nice light brown vest. Black dress pants because men’s fashion is incredibly boring and shiny loafers to completed the look. Whatever the look was.

She expected him to be taking a good look at her attire.

What she found was him staring at her.

His warm dark brown eyes were soft, gentle and he refused to break his gaze from her bluish grays even though there were more tempting sights on offer.

She was on the back foot. No wandering glances, no self pleasured smiles. Not even a creepy chuckle. Just a strangely dressed, inch shorter guy looking like he just found the love of his life in this moment.

“I…” she cleared her throat “Umm….did you hear me?”

He gave a quick nod “Yeah. You broke in and you were trying to cover your tracks.”

It wasn’t that he guessed correctly what was she up to that threw her off. It was how casually he said it. More discussing the weather than committing a felony.

She raised an eyebrow, not sure how to proceed from whatever this was. There were always some people who caught on about her intentions fairly quickly but no one had ever been so….indifferent about it.

“I don’t work here.” the man offered, slowly closing the distance between them but leaving the doorframe wide open “I really don’t care that you’re here to rob the place.”

This has to be a trap. This had to be. No one was ever this….laidback. Were the other goons on the side waiting to jump her when she bolted? Was she on camera and he was letting her go knowing full well he had all the evidence he needed to track her down?

Or maybe he really didn’t care. He seemed more interested in talking than stopping her and there was this strange presence about him. A calm she’d never felt before even when her parents were alive. It was odd and foreign to her but she felt safe. Protected.

She shook her head, slowly inching closer to the doorway. The man made no attempt stop her. He just stood there, smiling, hands in his pocket.

The rational part of her brain said to run. This whole thing was botched and it was better to cut her losses than find out first hand what magical creatures could do to her. The less rational side of her head told her to wait, to talk this guy. Lying was obviously pointless but she had a feeling he would answer any questions she’d had and she had plenty.

“So…” she rose a suspicious eyebrow “Not gonna stop me?”

He shook his head “I wish you’d stay but I understand if you don’t want to be found in Andor’s shop. He’s one of those new elves. Less honor more power.”

She blinked. He said elves right? Just threw it out there like it was an everyday matter of fact and not a deeply held secret of her hometown.

“Elves aren’t real.’ Caitlyn said matter of fact.

“We both know better than that.” The man gave a bright smile.

“What do you want?”

The words spilled out of her mouth despite her best attempts but this guy was throwing her off so badly she forgot how to function.

“Talk to you of course.”

The worst kind of people were the sincere ones. They were sappy and gooey. They just so happy it was sickening. They had to be up to something. They had to some scheme or scam or something they were waiting to drop on you. No one was that happy, that purely honest. They were the liars who were so good they convinced themselves they were good people. No one was good and everyone had a dark corner in their soul they hid from the world.

Caitlyn knew she had plenty in whatever was left of her ratty soul.

“And if we talk? Will you let me go?”

The man nodded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Caitlyn licked her lips anxiously “Promise?”

Promise? What was she 12? No one kept their promises. Not even her.

He placed his hand over his heart “Cross my heart.”

“Let’s talk,”

He jerked his head towards the door “Outside. Don’t want you to ruin your heist.”

-----

Today was not going how she was expecting. She was thought she was going to break into an elf ran front, scout the area and come back in the middle of the night. She hadn’t been expecting to have coffee and bread with a random stranger on the street.

Well she had coffee, mystery man opted for hot chocolate.

They stood in a strangely comfortable silence a block from Andor’s. The man offered to pay for whatever she wanted and she took him up on it. Couple of baked goods, a sandwich for lunch, some water and of course her cup of wake up juice. If he was mad at her for her splurging at his expense, he hid it well. He just took his coco and some fancy elvish bread. Looked good but Caitlyn wasn’t up for trying other beings food. She didn’t know how it would sit with her stomach.

The elf who ran the cart, a few months ago human to her, waved goodbye to the pair as he counted the human cash the man gave him.

The trench coat cosplay stood patiently, sipping his drink and waited for her to break the silence.

She refused to break the silence first. Not wanting to sound too eager. Eagerness was a weakness and this guy was already throwing her off her rhythm.

“I’m Finnrick by the way.”

She turned to him, unsure if he was messing with her or not.

He gave her the same goofy smile “Finnrick Drift, private investigator.”

“Ah huh.” She nodded slowly “So you’re a magical P.I.? Like elves cheating on their wives, dwarves dodging their taxes P.I.?”

“Sometimes.” He shrugged his shoulders “Ironically elves like dodging on their taxes more than dwarves.”

“Right.”

“You’re new to the whole other side of Newton Haven huh?”

She glanced at her coffee “Lived here my whole life. Really makes me wonder if I lost my mind.”

“Don’t worry, we’re all mad here Alice.”

Why was she talking to him? Why was she being honest? This was weirder and getting weirder every passing second.

Finnrick changed subject “So, robbing Andor? Any particular loot you are after?”

Caitlyn narrowed her eyes “Trying to fish something out of me Finny?”

“Guilty as charged” He beamed with pure happiness “Don’t want you wasting your time on shiny trinkets he cares nothing about.”

Caitlyn remained silent. She wasn’t used to such transparency. Normally this would be the point where the guy would lie or pretend to not have heard or awkwardly switch the subject but Finnrick answered openly and honestly. So far.

“So” Caitlyn straightened up, pulling her jacket wide open “What do you think? Great outfit right?”

Finnrick turned to her with a grin, his cheeks turning a pinkish hue as his eyes locked onto hers “Your body is absolutely lovely but your eyes even more so.”

Caitlyn could feel the flush coming. She coughed loudly, focusing on her drink as she willed the embarrassment away.

Finnrick chuckled lightly but returned to his drink. The silence returned, still comfortable as before.

This is was bad whatever this was. She needed to regain some level of control and stop acting like a teenage girl on her first garbage fire of a date.

“So” she cleared her throat “Mister P.I. what would you recommend taking if not all those millions of dollars of historical items he leaves about?”

Finnrick crushed the foam cup effortlessly as he gestured to the third floor of the shop “His office has a pretty simple safe. He keeps loads of paperwork. His various contracts, accounts, treasure hoards”

Caitlyn scoffed in disbelief even though her eyes shone with excitement “Treasure hoards? Elves? I thought dragons were the hoarders. Weren’t elves supposed to be above all that lovely corruption?”

“No one is above corruption.’ Finnrick answered “Elves are just like everyone else.”

Caitlyn crossed her arms and leaned back with a cocky swagger “And why, pray tell, would I care about boring paperwork?”

“Because it really hurt him in the pride.”

Damn Finnrick was good. Not only she was eager to learn more, she could already feel the smug satisfaction of bringing a powerful prick down a peg fill her cause.

Finnrick seemed to notice this because he went on “Andor is a young elf. 100 years give or take.”

“A hundred years is young?”

“When you live a thousand years every other race is a child to you. Andor’s old man is a swell guy. He’s one of those good elves you see in Tolkien.”

“Tolkien?” Caitlyn furrowed her brow “He wrote the books that those Lord of the Rings films are based on right?”

“Yeah actually.”

“Oh and the Hob…”

“We don’t talk about that.” Finnrick quickly added “But see the problem is Andor’s old man doesn’t know his son has become the small time crime lord. Thinks he’s running an antique business selling off old junk that was gathering dust in the family’s attic.”

Something clicked into place for Caitlyn “Wait. Junk from the attic? You mean all those relics on the shop floor?! THAT’S OLD JUNK!?”

Finnrick gave a casual shrug “Elves are weird. Andor don’t know shit about selling, all his money comes from his illegal business practices. That’s how he keeps the shop afloat.”

“I see” Caitlyn spoke, her bluish grays sparkling with mischievous intent “If those records disappeared, his shop sinks and he has to run back home to daddy.”

“And out of the city” Finnrick finished with a smile “And those records are pretty valuable to loads of people. Easier to fence and less messy to explain than a long lost Greek vase showing up in someone’s private collection. You’d get good prices for those hoard locations alone. Better than trying to carry tons of stolen and lost treasure back to your house.”

Caitlyn eyed Finnrick carefully “And you’re doing this out of the kindness of your heart? Trying to do your ‘civic’ duty to our fair city?”

“Among other things” Finnrick admitted “But mostly for the greater good.”

“Pfft, greater good? Yeah sure buddy. Like you know what’s the greater good.”

“Will you do it?”

Caitlyn paused, allowing all this information sink in. It was much better than she had planned and while she wasn’t sure of Finnrick’s angle, he seemed honest enough. Of course everyone seems honest enough the first time you meet them.

“Let’s say I do” she spoke, placing her hands on her hips to play the part “What’s in it for you?”

“A favor” He replied simply.

She rose a curious eyebrow “A favor? It’s not date with me, is it?”

“No, I plan to earn that one myself.” Finnrick answered cheerfully.

Caitlyn coughed “Fine, good. Not a date. Least you’re not a creep. But a favor is pretty vague.”

“It’ll be simple I promise.”

Caitlyn narrowed her gaze suspiciously “You promise?”

Finnrick put his hand over his heart again “Cross my heart.”

Caitlyn took a moment, weighing the pros and cons of the situation.

Caitlyn offered her hand towards the trench coat cosplayer “You got yourself a deal.”

He gently took her hand in his own and gave it a firm shake. She was surprised when, as he pulled back, she felt a strange metallic item left behind.

She looked at the crystal butterfly hair clip he placed in her hand: It was a beautiful with sliver hues and multi-colored shards of glass across its wings.

“What’s this?”

“A gift.”

Caitlyn felt uneasy with the ornament in her palm: It felt cold and distant like it was feeling her out and wasn’t liking what it found.

“It’s attuning to you.” Finnrick explained “It’s syncing up to your whole aura.”

“Aura?” Caitlyn shot him a glare of disbelief “This isn’t one of those new age hippie things is it?”

Finnrick shook his head “It’s a magical item. Yours specifically. Everything alive has a deep and very convoluted to explain connection to this plane. The hairclip is trying to match yours so you and only you can use it.”

“It feels wrong.”

“Because it doesn’t know you yet. It will.”

Caitlyn felt unease about whatever this was. Part of her wanted to toss it as far as she could. The worst part was she felt the item probing at her, changing temperatures as if trying find a comfortable setting for both of them. Burning one moment and too cold the next. This was magic and it made her felt like she knew nothing.

But part of her felt it slowly and subtly trying to match her, focusing on her and on her place in the universe. It felt more natural each passing moment and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t curious what mister detective over here was letting her borrow.

Caitlyn blew a strand of hair out of her face “How long does this usually take?”

“An hour.” Finnrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone “Oh shoot I have a meeting to get to.”

He turned to leave and suddenly Caitlyn felt alone. Awkward just standing in the street without someone to talk to.

“Wait!” She reached for him but quickly pulled back when he faced her “….any advice?”

Finnrick scratched his chin for a moment “Red tiles. Avoid them or they’ll blast you off the roof.”

“G-gotcha.” Caitlyn didn’t want to know what blast off the roof was code for “A-and the hairclip? What’s it do?”

Finnrick gave a cheeky grin and Caitlyn could feel her face flush “I guess you’ll have to find out angel. Bye for now. May we meet again soon.”

And like that, he was off. Strolling down the straight with a bounce in his step and humming a tune.

Caitlyn glanced at the ornate hairclip in her hand.

Turns out there was a lot more to this magical world than she thought.

[evertriedsoywithyourpopcorn]

5 Reasons Roman Is Infuriating (And Why I DO NOT have a crush on him)

Chapter 5: To A Land Of Our Imagination

Read on AO3 

Chapter 1

Word count: 3471

Tw: Wounds, food, swearing

~~~

Logan planned the second date two days after the first. A picnic in the imagination, that Roman insisted on helping out with.

It took them quite a while to prepare everything. A red gingham print blanket in a field of many flowers on a hill, the sight of a rather giant disney-inspired castle in the far distance, mountains enveloping the horizons; very picturesque, certainly. He even offered to set up an orchestra off the side for them, but Logan declined. Logan was worried that they would get sunburnt due to the realistic touch that he brings, but Roman insisted that wouldn’t happen. And then Logan insisted that he didn’t know that it wouldn’t.

The banter was probably what took the longest time. It started with the back and forth about the likelihood of a sunburn, and then whether Thomas would typically tan or burn, and then it spiralled into nothingness. Obviously Roman made zero sense, but Logan was still determined to prove his point.

“No, Thomas should not get a surgical beauty mark. It’s pointless and expensive when you could have the same results with the smallest amounts of makeup.”

“But it adds character! All of the glamor girls have beauty marks! And besides, why put in the effort of putting on the beauty mark every day when you can just wake up that way?” Roman rebuttals, and Logan cannot begin to express just how stupid that argument is.

“A few seconds of a makeup pencil and maybe some powder isn’t that much effort. What would be an effort is spending a ridiculous sum of money on something he might regret and want gone. It would be a waste of resources for something thought of on a whim. That money would also go into the beauty industry, the industry that profits off of one’s self-hatred.” He argues, because yes, in a world where hating oneself is so common and so profitable, the most rebellious thing one can do is to learn to love themself.

“Makeup is also a part of the beauty industry.”

“It’s nowhere near as harmful and expensive though. It’s not just about insecurities, but also accentuating features that you enjoy in yourself. It also happens to be an art form, so I’m surprised that you’d even try that useless fact.”

Roman huffs. He’s probably not that interested in the beauty mark, but sometimes impulse can make you do stupid things. He does however look upset, and Logan hesitates.

“You know what you can do with makeup?” Logan asks, and they look at each other.

“What?” He asks, still pouting.

“Make many beauty marks. And change their locations when you feel like it.” He offers, and Roman lights up like that very dangerous chemical reaction Remus and himself attempted on bonding day.

“By the fourth musketeer, you’re right!” Roman touches his own face, lost in thought. “You could switch it up daily!”

It took a while longer for him to acknowledge what they were supposed to be doing, and then they were touching up the flowers (which is when Logan notices Bells of Ireland, sticking out amongst the other flowers, and assisting in integrating them into the green fields, like the flowers just popped up amongst nature. He believes Roman had summoned them around for him, and he can’t help but smile.) and then heading to the exit so Logan could get the ‘object of his affections’.

“Are you going to be in the imagination?” Logan asks him.

“Well, duh. I’ll obviously be out of earshot, but duty calls, and I have quests to attend to! Can’t have a realm without it’s heroes, right?”

“I guess not.” Logan nods. Roman’s going to play immersive make-belief then. Very well. That does usually help with Thomas’s motivation. Logan thinks of asking to join him sometime, and then decides that would most likely end horribly. Maybe Dungeons & Dragons would be a better solution.

He leaves Roman at the doorway, going to retrieve Patton. It isn’t very hard; he finds him in the living room holding a picnic basket and smiling brightly.

“That really, isn’t necessary.” He points to the basket. “We have food at the location.”

“What’s a little more? Besides, I have a little surprise to help with the planning.” He leans in and fake whispers.

Logan blinks. “A planner?”

“No, even better. But don’t guess. You know your old Patton-ership Person can’t keep a secret for very long.”

Logan groans at the pun, and they head back through Roman’s door to the imagination. It isn’t long before they reach the flowery hills (Logan wanted it to be accessible, to avoid an awkwardly long walk), and he sits down on the large blanket. Patton coos at the view, and the enchanting flower fields.

“Is Roman here?” He asks, looking around. He sets the basket down.

“He said he wouldn’t be nearby, and I trust his word, but he is in the imagination.”

Patton lets out a sigh in relief and sits down. “Okay. I just know he’d be mad if he found out, buuut…” He opens the petite basket’s lid, and like the objects from Mary Poppins bag sprouts Janus, arms held out dramatically.

“What is up losers? I’m here to foil all of your plans.” He lightly steps out of the basket, and plops down so they’re all facing each other in a triangle. “By making them better. You’ll thank me later.”

Although Logan is surprised, he isn’t really bothered. He’s quite similar to Roman in the theatrics, so perhaps he’ll prove to add ideas that would give life and a charming flair to his own.

“Very well.” Logan pulls out a notepad from god-knows-where. “Welcome to the ‘date’.” He does quotation marks with his fingers, and Patton leans excitedly to Janus.

“I think that’s what we’re calling it now. ‘Date’, but you have to do the thing with your fingers.” He does the finger quotations.

“What a lame concept. I love it.” Janus smiles. “I’m absolutely dreading spectating this ‘date’.” He does the finger quotations, and adds a little more emphasis on the word. At least he seems to be having fun.

“So. First step: The goal.”

“Find out if Roman really does have legs.” Janus answers at the same time Patton exclaims “Marry a pretty prince!”

“That was not supposed to be a guessable statement. And both of you are wrong. Patton, we do not have legal documents and cannot legally marry. The goal is to ‘woo’ Roman.”

“There may be or may not be a very easy solution for this.” Janus suggests, lounging back and checking his nails despite his gloves.

“What would be that solution?” Logan narrows his eyes at him.

“Oh I don’t know… Tell him how you feel.” He looks at him face-on, dead-serious.

“But… He most likely does not feel the same way. Besides, he wouldn’t like something so… Insignificant. He’s embodied himself after a prince, for Newton’s sake.” Logan argues, heart clutching painfully (metaphorically, obviously. If someone’s heart clutches painfully in real life, he recommends they go to a doctor and get it checked), and looking off into the distance, calculating the odds of rejection. He so far has not detected any signs or repercussions in the romance, and with Roman’s celebrity crushes being people like Adam Driver and Orville Peck, how is he supposed to compare? He can make a schedule planner less important than a social engagement.

“Oh come on, cheer up champ! I’m sure he’ll love it no matter what you do!” Patton encourages, giving him thumbs up. Logan looks at him, unimpressed.

“But will he really? These… Unnecessary feelings have rendered me even less functioning around him, so psychologically speaking, I’ve been even less perfect around him. He lives off the idea of a perfect, film-like life. Disney prince… Disney Relationship, Disney prince partner. Why would he like me? I look like a teacher.” As Logan continues his rant, now up and pacing, Janus shoots Patton a knowing look, and Patton eventually looks at him with an unknowing look.

“What?” Patton asks quietly, as Logan rambles.

“You don’t know?” Janus looks surprised.

“Know what?”

“Roman hasn’t told you about… You know…”

Patton looks at him, attempting to decipher what he means. Eventually, he quizzically does a limp wrist.

“No!” Janus whisper-shouts, exasperated. “Of course he’s gay. I’m talking about something else.”

“I’m lost.” He admits.

Janus leans in and whispers into his ear.

“Oh yeah! He has.” Patton gives him a thumbs up.

“I need a new style!” Logan turns and points at them, and they both display their shock easily.

“Dear god no. You’d look more out of place than Remus during the cosplay phase.” Janus jerks back, appalled. (Besting Remus in being out of place while he was in Thomas’s cosplay phase is nothing to roll your eyes at. Stripper Kermit is only one of many horrendous ideas that Janus has had the pleasure of being scarred by.)

“But think about it. You often see someone in a new light when they go through a big style change, whether they’ve changed as a person or not. When we altered our outfits for the first time, it was like a fresh new start. We were new, and more impressive models of our past selves of just three seconds before.”

“I see your point kiddo, but that just isn’t you! It’ll work against you in the long run if you try to be someone that you’re not.”

“Agreed. Seriously. Not to mention you’d be boring no matter what you wear; might as well be more comfortable doing it.”

Logan considers it. He nods, and sits down. “Alright. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m still not going to tell him outright.”

Patton raises his hand. “I have an idea.”

“Alright, hit us.” Janus looks at him.

“If you are to hit us, do it gently please. And preferably on the arm. I quite like these glasses.” Logan nods, accepting his fate.

“It’s an expression.” Janus side-eyes him, and gestures for Patton to start.

“How about… We leave the idea of telling him directly as an option, but also make a plan? That way, you have many options to pick from!” He encourages, looking like a parent bargaining with their toddler.

“That wouldn't be unreasonable.” Logan takes out a pen, and clicks it on. “Now, why don’t we start?”

By the time they leave the imagination, Logan has notes full of ideas. It’s a little bit difficult to have the best brainstorms without a literal embodiment of creativity, but both of them are bad ideas to invite for different reasons, and not being in charge of creativity doesn’t stop the rest of them from coming up with creative thoughts. (If that were the case, the same concept could be applied to himself, and it would have probably killed him by now if he were the only one with an ounce of logic.)

He steps into Roman’s room. Nice as always, if not looking slightly blank. Maybe he’s just used to the disorder now.

He rips out a separate paper, and leaves it on Roman’s cluttered desk, to notify him in the future that he is no longer in his realm. He catches a glimpse of other papers on his desk, and is that-

“Poetry?” Obviously, Logan does not want to disrespect his privacy, but he does read the line he has seen. It was quite good. It seemed to be about jealousy, but he’s not the best at deciphering emotions, so he isn’t completely sure. He also catches a few typos.

He stands straight again, paces a little bit and just as he's about to sink out, he hears the imagination door open.

Roman stumbles in, heaving and drenched in sweat. He looks dull and lifeless, until he looks at Logan. It’s like a switch goes off, and he looks like his usual self again.

“Heading out?”

“That’s right. The date just ended.”

“That’s wonderful! How did it go?” He asks, strutting over, trying hard but failing to hide a limp.

“Are you alright?” Logan looks at him, and the standard first aid courses that Thomas has taken in his lifetime start kicking in.

"I'm-" And a poorly concealed wince. "Okay. Just a scrape from the dragon witch. Nothing a happy pappy prince can't handle."

"That's not something you usually say." Logan squints at him, taking a step closer. "Did you hit your head? You're starting to sound like Patton. I'm not leaving here until you let me help you."

"Ugh, fine." He flails out his arms, and then jerks them back in pain. "But seriously, how did it go?"

"It went well. Thank you for the Irish bells. We discussed things that one would do in a romantic setting, and then we dispersed. There will be another date fairly soon. I just stayed to drop off a note on your desk to inform you of our departure."

His eyes go wide. "My desk? Did you read any of my writing?" He asks, sounding panicked, with a hint of defensive nature.

"I did, actually. Not on purpose, I'm sorry. It was a poem that I believe is about jealousy. I read the third paragraph. It was quite well done." Logan bashfully admits.

"Oh. Thank you." He offers a small smile.

Logan suddenly remembers the wounds. "Now. Let's get to fixing you up. Do you have any cuts? Scrapes? Open wounds?" As he sits Roman down and checks over his injuries, he can't help but hurt a little bit on the inside. Roman's self preservation seems to have left him a long time ago, and he always gets reckless. He can't seem to let anyone see his weakness, and that's perhaps what he and Logan have most in common; although, Logan hasn't been injured physically in quite a while.

He finds a first aid kit (in Roman's nightstand. How concerning.) and helps patch up his wounds. Thankfully, Roman wasn't fully lying, as his injuries mainly consisted of bruises and mild cuts, but Logan made sure to take care of them all the same.

"I just realized." Roman whispers, eyes closed as Logan puts a band-aid on his arm.

"That's a new concept."

Roman ignores that. "You've done so much for me over the last while. To be fair, you always do things for me, but this week... Teaching me how to bake, leaving out cookies for me, which were heavenly by the way, thank you, helping with nail polish even though it was on your bed, this... It's quite a lot. I feel like I haven't done enough for you."

"Oh come on, don't metaphorically sell yourself short. This whole time, you've helped me set up my dates with Patton. Many of them, in fact. I had been nervous to tell him, and you helped me the whole way along. I am quite grateful for your contributions, Roman." Logan chuckles a little bit, because although expressing your gratitude for something that you don't care about may seem pointless, Roman still put in all of the effort. He did the planning, the setup and design, and wherever he was needed, he'd be. Logan had heard that he even managed to convince Remus to keep the funky business away from the 'dates'. That's quite a lot of work, and Logan appreciates every second of it.

"Nooo but that isn't enough! I want to take you somewhere special to thank you."

"Really Roman, that isn't necessary-"

"Thomas!" Roman screams into his ceiling. "You know how you're free in three weekends!? Yeah, well you're going to a planetarium now! Bring friends so you don't look like a loser." And sure enough, he can feel that Thomas has got the idea.

Logan's heart metaphorically explodes out of his chest with how strong it's beating. Thomas hasn't been to a planetarium in ages. It isn't really Logan's role to suggest activities on the fun side, so he's kept to himself, silently hoping for another side to bring it up. They have spare money for it. And here it is. In three weeks from now.

"That's... I don't know what to say. Thank you." He clutches the first aid kit to his chest.

"Well duh thank me, but it's okay. It's payback." Roman gives him two band-aid speckled thumbs up. "Consider it a date."

Uh-

Hm. Well, there goes Logan. On the floor. Dead.

~~~

"More sophisticated and logical word for fuck."

Logan slams open Virgil's door, just as he's putting the last details on his embroidered spider web jacket.

"Dude, what?" Vrigil turns to him, only to see Logan laying on the floor, malfunctioning.

He goes over to the lifeless form. “Logan… You, like, never come to me with your emotional problems. I can’t help people. Do you want me to tease you? Because I can totally tease you.” He pokes him, and Logan rolls over to face the ceiling.

“It’s because I never have emotional problems, Virgil. I believe in you to keep a secret however.”

“Is this about the planetarium Thomas just planned? Because I can totally see why he shouldn’t go, with all those people around, judging his every step, and the chance of being separated from his friends, or seeing someone familiar and it’s just awkward..”

“No, I agreed to the idea. I had wanted to go for quite a while.”

“Does it… Have to do with Roman?”

“Of course it has to do with Roman. Even now, he is still the largest thorn in my side.”

“Apparently you’re a masochist then. So, what’s up with him and the planetarium?” Virgil circles him, seeming bored but willing to hear the story.

“He was the one who suggested it. In fact he said to  ‘a date’.”

“Ahh. So you are here for emotional issues.”

“It’s not an emotional issue. I simply wanted to tell you that I think it is an optimal time to tell Roman about my newfound fondness for him.” He sits up, and Virgil gives him a hand to stand.

Virgil chuckles. “It’s not bad to ask for help, Logan. But that does sound like a good idea, or whatever.”

“Of course it’s a good idea.” Logan says, hand bouncing up and down at a rapid pace. He looks like he’s sweating. Virgil squints.

“But you’re nervous.” He observes. “And you want to talk about it with someone.” He holds up a hand before Logan can protest. “Ah-ah. Don’t lie to me on this one. Sit down.” He takes out a chair, and then looks at Logan. “You know what, maybe not in my room.”

So they go to Logan’s room, and he explains his plans, and some worries, and Virgil nods along and agrees.

“By the way, have you been seeing the way Roman’s been acting lately?” After Logan seems to have finished with ideas, and they were just sitting together, Virgil speaks up.

“No? Perhaps. He did want to make cookies, which is odd for him, and he called me kiddo, if I remember correctly.” Logan recounts the last few days. He’s not completely sure. Roman has always been a slight enigma to him.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. A few days ago, he came into the living room, and he was wearing a polo! If it weren’t for the colors, I would’ve thought he was Patton. And then.” Virgil stares at Logan, who looks impassively back at him. “Just yesterday, Remus told me that he dumped some of his posters into the trash.”

“Ah, perhaps he’s finally taking advantage of his wall space.” Logan says quite proudly, in a room where there are many cork boards on every left-over piece of wall he has open.

“No, you don’t get it. When’s the last time you’ve seen his room without posters?”

“To be honest, I don’t remember.” Logan admits. Virgil nods along, his eyes staring at him intensely. “Because I barely ever go into his room.” Virgil slumps. “Listen, Virgil, the concern is appreciated, and I support you continuing to collect evidence on this matter, however, it sounds like he’s trying something new out. I have no reason yet to be concerned.”

“Okay, whatever.” He gets up from his chair. “I hope you feel better, nerd. Catch you later.” He salutes, and just sinks out.

Logan continues to stare at where Virgil once was, thoughts jittering. Is Roman really acting that strange? He almost sounds like he’s trying to become Patton. Maybe he’s looking to renew his look for Thomas? He had been rather heart-broken when he misinterpreted Thomas calling him his hero. He also likes costume changes. Maybe he’s preparing something.

Logan hopes that Roman will be alright in the end. And that he himself will be as well. He takes a deep breath. He can do this.

~~~

Taglist: @crossiantgay 

[thiswasinevitableid]

29 for indruck nsfw? i am already amused thinking about what sport either of them would play

Here you go!

29. I’m a professional athlete and I just fired my personal assistant and my manager sent you over but you don’t even know what sport I play or who my team is

When you’re in an aggressive profession it’s best, in Duck’s experience, to be as calm and friendly as you can the rest of the time.

But this whole shit-show is testing his fucking limits.

It’s been two days since he found out his perfectly fine P.A was working for the Wallstreet Journal, hoping to learn that Duck was somehow using his T or his identity to gain an unfair edge in matched. Ned fired him on the spot, thank god, but it took less than twelve hours for the guy to publish some fabricated piece on his attitude and for Duck to remember why he needed an assistant in the first place. He’s gotten so used to having one that he keeps forgetting stuff or dropping the ball on appointments, and the last thing he needs right now is to look like some stupid hick.

When Ned texts him to let him know his new P.A is en route, Duck groans “thank fuck” loud enough to startle the cat from her tree.

He goes to the door when someone knocks, but doesn’t open it.

“Who is it?”

“Indrid Cold? I, ah, Mr. Chicane said this was Duck Newton’s address and I’m supposed to start as his assistant tomorrow.”

Duck opens the door, “Fuck tomorrow, you’re startin today. I gotta focus on strategy with Minerva the next two days if I don’t wanna show my ass Friday night and it’s real fuckin hard to do that with people callin me left and right.” He guides the startled young man inside, then stops to take a deep breath, “sorry, lemme try that again” he holds out his hand, “Nice to meet you, Indrid.”

“Likewise, Mr. Newton.”

“Duck is fine. It’s a nickname. You bring your stuff with you?”

“Yes, it’s all in my car.”

“Good. Here, lemme give you the, uh, the grand tour, so to speak, on the way to your part of the place.”

Indrid smiles and nods, hanging back slightly as Duck leads him through the house. They cover the living room, kitchen, Duck’s bedroom, then come what was once the garage door.

“This here’s the gym; you can’t find me in the rest of the house, I’m probably here.”

“Goodness” The other man’s eyes widen behind his red glasses, “that’s an impressive array. I mean, I know professional athletes need to train but I, ah, I assumed you did it on site with the rest of your team.”

“Team?” Duck closes the door, spots Indrid’s fingers diving into his pockets to hide their twitching.

“Yes.”

“Which team?”

“Your...sports team?”

“....you got no fuckin clue who I am, do you?”

“No.” Narrow shoulders sag in his sweater.

Duck chuckles, “Figures.”

The silver haired head snaps back up, “Mr. Chicane didn’t say it was a prerequisite for hiring me.”

“Guess he didn’t. And I guess it ain’t. Just hoped they’d hire someone who knew what the fuck he was gettin into.”

Indrid crosses his arms, “They gave me a very thorough job description. I assure you I can do every part of it. Laying out your pre-workout and scheduling appearances isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t matter if the dry cleaning I pick up is for a, a baseball after party or some sort of charity basketball fundraiser.” It dawns on the taller man that he’s just snapped at his boss. He contracts in on himself, staring down at his black converse.

Duck takes the chance for a more careful look; all of his clothes are second hand, chosen as if he’s cosplaying a jock who went into white collar work. There are piercing holes in his ears, flecks of silver polish on his nails. This job application was a hail mary and Ned Chicane went ahead and caught.

“No harm done, slim.” He rests a friendly hand on Indrid’s arm, “think it’s time I enlightened you.”

His office doesn’t get used much, so a sprinkling of dust greets them as he flips on the lights and reveals posters, magazine covers, and newspaper clips bearing Duck’s face. The gloves he used to win his first fight hang in a place of honor, right above the photo of him and the other fighters from Amnesty Boxing. It’s an older photo, taken the first time they sent a team out of state, sun-faded to the point the writing on it is disappearing. It makes him smile all the same.

“This does explain the set of instructions for helping you cut weight if needed.” Indrid takes in the posters, then turns his attention to the corner dedicated to Duck’s model ship collection. He cocks his head, says more to himself than Duck, “boxer. Interesting.”

“Were you just gonna bluff about knowin who I was until I said somethin?”

“That and look for clues in the rest of the house.”

He smiles, “Like a man with a plan b. C’mon, lemme show you your room.”

-----------------------------------------

Alright, so Indrid should have researched Duck Newton before turning up at his house so he didn’t come across as ignorant and unprepared. But he was busy running every Taskrabbit and UberEat he could get just to scrape up enough to keep his landlord off his back. Sue him for not wanting to sleep in his car again.

He never expected to get this job; live-in P.A who doesn’t have to pay for groceries (buy them, yes, since that’s one of his jobs) is not the kind of luck he’s familiar with. He keeps waiting for the catch, so nervous that when Duck pops in on him unpacking he assumes he’ll scold him for his wardrobe.

“I, should I buy some more professional clothes?”

Duck takes in the two duffle bags and backpack, “Up to you. I don’t mind you lookin like the little art punk you are, but a dress shirt or two might help if we gotta go somewhere real upscale. Don't worry about buyin it yourself; just use the same card we do for groceries.”

Indrid is still hung up on why the fact a man three inches shorter than him calling him “little” makes his chest burn. Luckily, the phone rings and distracts him. Then it rings again. And again. And again. All while the inbox doubles every time he looks at it.

This turns out to be the catch; the work is actually hard. Everyone and their uncle wants to interview Duck, get him to sponsor something, or proposition him. Four hours in, he’s overwhelmed, overstimulated, and ready to hide under the desk. His fidget necklace isn’t helping, so he pulls out his chewable one; it often helps him think in high pressure moments.

The phone rings again and he growls at it.

“You’re allowed to let things go to voicemail, y’know.”

He spins in his chair, black rubber moth still in his mouth. Duck leans in the doorway, tank top soaked in sweat and towel around his shoulders

“I, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to drop anything important.”

“Ned handles the fights and the money, and anyone I care about has my private number for emergencies.”

“Right. I knew that.” Indrid can’t have his boss thinking he’s a total space-case.

Duck smiles, “What I’m sayin is; ain’t the end of the world if you don’t get back to everyone right away. Besides, right now you need a lunch break, slim. Lemme go rinse off and I’ll join you.”

By the time Duck enters the kitchen in an old “NIN” shirt and jeans, Indrid has his protein bowl laid out for him and is finishing microwaving a hot pocket for himself. Before he can scurry away, Duck pats the seat beside him and Indrid sits down, preparin to politely listen to Duck talk about himself or his sport.

He talks for ten minutes about the trees he saw on his run that morning before asking Indrid what he did before coming to the house. Indrid explains about his art and his side hustles in tarot and palm reading, about the run of bad luck that saw him without roommates and lost him his steady gig at a coffee shop. Duck makes genuinely sympathetic noises, lets Indrid change the subject when the fact he was on the edge of disaster makes Indrid’s chest tighten. They’re still talking about music as Indrid returns to his desk and Duck goes to meet Minerva in the gym.

By the time Duck’s fight rolls around that weekend, Indrid is feeling much better. He has a system of sorting emails that works for him, some mothman stickers to help him organize the paper calendar on his desk, and more confidence in his ability to spot callers with ulterior motives. He’s shut down two separate ones looking to trap Duck into interviews where he’d be forced to defend his very identity. Duck overheard his responses to the second one and brought him back a fancy creme brulee latte from his breakfast as a thank you.

He doesn’t go to the fight; it’s a small one for charity and Duck has Ned to manage him, Minerva to train him, and Leo to coach him ringside. He doesn’t need his P.A. Instead, Indrid finishes up his correspondence for the day, makes sure Duck’s breakfast is all set in the fridge, and confirms the masseuse is coming in the morning.

Once in bed, Indrid gets sucked into the commission he’s doing and is lost to the world until a tired, satisfied face pokes through his door.

“Oh! Hello Duck. Did it go well? Do, ah, is there something you need from me?”

“Yep, I won like I thought I would. And nope; was just poppin in to say goodnight.”

No one’s said that to him in a long time. The bitterness of that realization is sweetened by Duck’s smile.

“Goodnight to you too, Duck.”

------------------------------------------

Minerva is sick, which wouldn’t be a problem except for one part of his workout. He could skip it, but he needs to keep everything sharp for when they go to L.A.

“‘Drid? You got a few minutes?”

His assistant appears in the doorway, black jeans and white “Cramps” tank-top fitting him in a way that makes Duck want to hold him face down on the floor and find out how to take his breath away.

“What do you need?”

Duck points to the heavy bag, “You up for bracin this while I hit it?”

“I...I am not as strong as Minerva.”

“You don’t gotta be; this is just to keep the damn thing from swinging while I’m doin this speed drill.”

“Alright.” Indrid takes off his glasses and sets them on the folding chair, joining Duck, “how do I hold it?”

Duck shows him, does a few test punches to make sure he won’t send the poor guy flying. The round clock dings green, and he’s off. The bag wobbles for the first few seconds, then Indrid seems to find his footing and holds it stable enough for the drill to work. When the round ends, Duck steps baack, “okay, you can let go until the next round.”

“Goodness.” Indrid stretches his hands, “I feel for your opponents. I’m jarred just from that.”

“You need to stop? I got two more rounds at least, but if it’s hurtin you I caan skip ‘em.”

Indrid shakes his head, smiling, “nono, I like helping you with this. It’s exhilarating.”

The bell dings.

“Glad to hear it. Now brace it again.”

By the end of round three, Indrid is panting loud enough for Duck to hear him over the fan. He looks up, glove still on the bag, and finds them face to face.

“Minerva said three to five rounds for this. You wanna keep goin?”

Indrid, breathless and grinning, nods, “Can’t have you slacking off, now can we?”

Duck wants to bite his lip, just to see what happens. Blames the thought on the adrenaline. Then discovers the exact same thought waiting for him when Indrid, cleaned and in his most respectable clothes, joins him in the car to go to an interview.

Ned gave the P.A a list of likely questions, so they practice those as they creep across the Bay Bridge. But Duck notices that on both the trip there and back, whenever there’s a lull in conversation Indrid is on his phone reading about boxing. Duck knows the other man fixates on topics that interest him; knowing one of Duck’s passions has earned that distinction makes him smile.

After that, he starts inviting Indrid to watch him train, or shares his thoughts about matches with him. That’s all it takes for Indrid to start drawing him into long, animated conversations about his sport. When Indrid asks why there’s such debate over the proper way to wrap hands and also how does Duck do his, Duck demonstrates.

“Here, ‘Drid, now you try it on me.”

The P.A moves the wraps slowly, deliberately, moving Duck’s hand like it’s a priceless treasure he’s readying for transport. Every time he bites his lip in concentration or brushes hair from his forehead, Duck has to remind himself to breathe.

“Done.” Indrid is still holding his left hand, “Did I do well?”

The boxer tests the wraps, wiggles his fingers and clenches his fists. Then he squeezes Indrid’s hand, “you did perfect, slim.”

Duck can wrap his hands in his sleep. But whenever he’s home, he finds Indrid and asks him to do the honors. Indrid does them every time. Perfectly.

---------------------------------------------

Indrid stands in the green room with Ned and a cluster of arena employees. The roaring crowd a few walls away echoes through the screen. He’s never seen Duck fight, but this event required all hands on deck to handle P.R, scheduling, and making sure Duck had what he needed to win.

Duck and his opponent enter the ring. Touch gloves.

Indrid’s pulse climbs.

Then the bell sounds and no useful noises come through the T.V. Just the announcers shouting and being drowned out by the crowd. Indrid gives up on parsing the cacophony, focus only on Duck. He’s seen him practice, but in a true match he’s a different beast. His opponent is faster, that much is clear, but Duck is patient, steady, blocks and weaves until he can land blows that make Indrid hurt just watching them.

Duck is magnificent like this. Indrid has to draw him like this, has to capture this and keep it forever, he has to, he has…

He has a hard-on in the middle of the green room.

He sticks it out long enough to see Duck win and then bolts to the bathroom so it can be taken care of by the time the boxer is done with the post-fight interviews.

They go out to celebrate, and Duck never nudges Indrid aside to let someone more important sit next to him. And as the drive to the hotel, he nods off with his head on Indrid’s shoulder.

It only gets worse after that.

Duck will coax him into joining him for a run with the promise of a fancy breakfast. On cheat days, Duck orders food to the house or takes Indrid out to lunch, and somehow the thing he wants when not focused on macros is always the thing Indrid mentioned he’d been craving. He invites Indrid on hikes with him, starts taking him to all his events even though he seldom needs help or herding at them (“yeah, but it’s nice to have someone to crack jokes with”). And on days when Indrid needs to be alone, or wants to see other friends, Duck simply smiles and closes the door.

The most dangerous days are the ones without anything on the schedule. Then it’s all too easy for Indrid to pretend that they’re something they’re not while he draws at the table across from where Duck is building his model ship. Too easy to imagine that the water-wise garden Duck tends is something he put into their house, not his house that Indrid happens to live in. Too easy to admit that Indrid wants to look after him for no payment except being looked after in return.

Duck reciprocating his feelings is within the realm of possibility. Indrid’s caught him staring when he walks in on the P.A doing yoga, and the casual touches long ago made the leap from accidental to deliberate. He also knows that Duck can’t fire him--only Ned can--and hopes that might lead to the boxer slinging him over his shoulder and tossing him on the bed one of these days.

There’s also the tabloid site circulating a photo of them with a caption claiming he’s Duck’s “boytoy” in spite of them only being two years apart. They’re not even sitting that close in the picture; Duck’s just smiling at him like he’s the only thing in the world, that’s all.

Currently, he’s having an easier time keeping his feelings buried because--ever since they landed in Vegas-- Duck has been a dick the rest of the day. Well, as much as a dick as he can be; his offenses are mainly snapping at people and lacking his usual patience.

When he scolds Indrid over something silly in the hotel that night, Indrid turns and stares at him over his glasses.

“Duck, what’s wrong?”

“Wh-uh, fuck, nothing, why do you, uh, fuck, I’m fine.”

“You just snapped at me in a way that was completely uncalled for.” He crosses his arms, “is it the fight? I know it’s a big one but that’s no reason to be rude.”

Duck scratches the back of his neck, “You’re gonna laugh at me.”

“I swear I won’t. Or, if I do, it will be after you leave.”

That gets a smile, “I’m uh, well, I’m what you’d call ‘horny as all fuckin get out.’”

Indrid’s immediate thoughts would solve the problem at hand while creating a new and far worse set, so he keeps them to himself and replies, “If need privacy, I can come back later and hold all your calls.”

“Nah.” Duck sits on the bed, “You’re not supposed to get off before a fight. Makes you too relaxed.”

“That strikes me as an old wives tale. Old boxers tale?”

“Either way, it’s one Minerva still believes. If I lose, she will ask about every possible cause, includin that one. Better if I just cat nap before I start all my pre-match stuff. Come get me in fort minutes?”

“Of course.” Indrid waves and closes the door before he offers to lay down in the hopes of Duck having a wet dream while holding him.

--------------------------------------------------------

Duck wins, though it’s a tough battle to get there. He fucking hates these Pay-Per-View fights, they try to make it sound like he’s got beef with the other guy. In reality, once he’s down from a knockout, Duck is the one who helps him to the other side of the ring.

There’s a flurry of press afterwards, of questions and congratulations while all he wants to do is shower. He gets clean, promises Ned they can all go out to celebrate later. As he and Indrid finally escape to his suite he’s forced to admit that--if the thoughts of hitting the “fire” button and fucking Indrid against the wall are any indication--his problem from earlier hasn’t gone away.

“Do you need me to see if I can get a masseuse up here? You look very stiff.”

“Just uh, just tense.” Why did he tell Indrid he liked those jeans on him? He’s worn them as often as he can since.

Indrid cocks an eyebrow, “Still pent up even though the fighting is done?”

“Yep.”

The P.A shakes his head, hiding a smirk, “Do you need me to find something for you to watch?”

“No.”

“I mean it, this place has all the good channels.” He’s so earnest, picking up the channel guide like it, rather than those fucking jeans and shirt with Duck’s name on it, has what Duck needs.

“No.” He growls.

Indrid sighs, sets the book back down, “This mood is annoying us both, so just tell me what kind of porn you want and I can go out and buy it.”

“Unless they got somethin called ‘boxer jackhammers skinny artist until he cries’ we’re gonna be shit out of luck!”

The P.A blinks, “Duck, this is Vegas, I can probably find that. Or look for it on your laptop…” he trails off when their eyes meet. Duck knows he must look like he’s ready to jump him. Indrid licks his lips, “Duck? What, ah, what exactly lead to this situation?”

“You really wanna know, slim?” Duck steps across the carpet, notices Indrid padding over the black and blue patterns to meet him.

“Yes.”

Duck removes Indrid’s glasses, “Had a dream about you while I was on the plane. Woke up havin just finished fuckin you open. First thing I thought was “no big deal, ‘Drid’s right here. We can do the real thing once we get to the hotel.’ Then I fuckin remembered that we couldn’t, and I know for damn sure that if I jerk off I won’t feel satisfied because you’re be over there” he jabs his thumb at the door connecting their rooms, “so close and completely outta my reach.”

“So keep me right here instead.” Indrid purrs, fingers tentatively finding Duck’s hips. The light contact splinters his self-control and he practically tackles Indrid onto the bed, kissing him as the taller man moans and paws at his clothes.

The kiss takes the heat off enough to clear the steam fogging up his head and sits up, “This really okay?”

“I would have said if it wasn’t now for goodness sake please get back down here.” Indrid yanks him forward by the front of his shirt, smashing their lips together. He’s humming and sighing every time Duck touches him, rolling his hips to display a quickly forming hard-on.

“Aw, sugar, you gettin excited just from kissin’?” Duck grinds down just to see him gasp.

“Y-yes. I, Duck, I’ve wanted this for months.”

The implication of those words slam his desire into overdrive, “You sneaky little thing, that why you kept runnin around in tight clothes?”

“Most of my clothes h-hang off me.” Indrid holds tight to Duck’s thighs as the boxer strips his shirt off, “but yes I, I did start wearing what you liked more often.”

“Ain’t that thoughtful. And what were you hoping would happen, slim?” Duck yanks his sweats off and kicks them to the floor.

“This.” Indrid’s eyes keep slipping down to stare at Duck’s dick.

The boxer strokes himself lazily, “like what you see?”

“So much.”

“Then how about a closer look, sugar?” He crawls up Indrid’s body to straddle his face. It looks even better than normal framed by his thighs.

“Do I get to touch too?”

Duck guides his hands onto his ass, “As much as you want. You gonna be sweet and let me fuck your face, or am I gonna have to hold your mouth open?”

Indrid opens his mouth instantly, a whimper creeping out of it as Duck strokes his hair. The sound morphs into a louder, but muffled, moan when Duck sinks down. He teases his dick against Indrid’s lips, drags slick across his chin, feels his jaw tremble with wanting to close. Duck shifts so his dick touches Indrid’s tongue, “get to it. Oh fuck” he braces a hand on the wall, “heh, didn’t know Ned screened for cocksuckin skills.”

Indrid shakes his head, brown eyes wide as Duck roughly rides his face.

“No? He didn’t make you demonstrate on some of the other fighters? Didn’t make sure you could make a whole gym cum to prove your mouth was good enough for me?”

“‘O” Indrid shakes his head again, silver strands sticking to the pillow as he kneads Duck’s ass in a way that makes him groan.

“Too bad for them. Because now they ain’t ever gonna get a chance.”

A whimper and write of the torso; Duck glances over his shoulder to watch Indrid buck his hips in the air, pre-cum clear on his crotch. His feet, still in their shoes, point and flex as he moans around Duck’s dick.

“You like that, don’t you sugar?” He threads both hands into Indrid’s hair, pinning his head down or pulling it closer as it suits him, all the while gently rubbing his scalp “like knowin’ that you’re doin well.”

A harder suck in reply.

“Then be a good little cocksucker and make me cum.” He holds his head down and let’s loose, grinding and grunting in pursuit of the heat that starts at Indrid’s tongue and is steadily curling up into Duck’s belly. The other man holds him tight, moaning and licknig and sucking until Duck cums on his mouth, the lasts bursts of it happening against a slackening jaw.

As soon as his legs cooperate, he climbs off and guides Indrid to sit up in his arms. His attempt to check on the other man is interrupted by a frantic kiss.

“I was gonna ask if you wanna keep goin’, but I think I got my answer.”

“Yes, I mean no, I mean please don’t stop yet. Please I, we can do whatever you like, we can do just this, you can drag me out on the balcony and fuck me in full view of the city-”

“Easy, slim, easy.” Duck cups his cheek, “let’s start with somethin simple. Get naked and get comfy on your back for me. I gotta go grab somethin from down the hall.”

His memory turns out to be spot on; the vending machine on this floor has toiletries, including condoms and a travel bottle of lube. He buys ten of one and three of the other, drops them in the pockets of his robe and hurries back to Indrid. Sprawled on the bed, he looks painfully vulnerable, like someone who got used to life kicking him and telling him to stay down.

It’ll be different when they’re together, Duck can promise that much.

“Seem to recall you wanting me to keep you here.” He grabs a handwrap, holds it where Indrid can see, “how do you feel about me usin this?”

“Extremely good. Oh, oh hello.” He laughs when Duck rolls down beside him to pepper his face with kisses. The process of trapping his hands to the headboard is prolonged thanks to their mutual need to keep kissing every five seconds.

“Now” Duck kisses his shoulder, “I didn’t bring any toys to fuck you with, so it’s just gonna be my hand.”

“You say that as if it’s a disappointment to me and not incredibly sexy.”

“Some folks don’t think you’re fuckin ‘em unless you use somethin dick-shaped.” Duck shrugs with a flicker of sadness from the last time he had that conversation.

“Tell me who insulted your body or your skills in bed and I shall stand outside their window with a megaphone informing them of how terrible their manners are and how they missed out on the finest man in the world.”

“That’d be funny” Duck leisurely kisses his belly and hips before sitting up, “but you’d have to get outta bed.”

“True. Ah well, a sternly worded email will have do OOOh, oohhhyes.” He wiggles his hips as Duck presses in the first finger, relaxing under his touch.

“Get the feelin you’ve done this before”

“Yes.” Indrid’s chest is flushed and Duck reaches up his free hand to play with his nipples.

“What’s the most you’ve taken?”

“Th-three, I believe. I, ah, I’m usually facing away so I sometimes lose track.”

“You're takin four tonight. Can’t believe anyone would wanna miss out on how you look when you’re getting fucked.” He teases the second finger to prove his point and Indrid’s mouth curves with bliss.

“My ass is many people’s type; my face not so much.”

“Fuck that.” Duck pushes the second finger in. Indrid arches, then sighs as Duck keeps working him open.

“I find it difficult to care what they thought right now. I, ahhhn, it’s much more fun to think about you.”

“About me…?”

“About right you’re doing right now and, AH, what we can do next. I do so want to sit in your lap in the hot tub back home.”

“Can manage that. What else?”

“I’d very much l-like to fuck you, however you’ll let me and, and I want us to do it right after you train some day, you look so good like thatAHgod.” The third finger is in and Indrid is now steadily pushing down on them, “and one of the times you get me to run with you I expect a blow job in reward oh, ohfuck” his eyes are wild and eager, “please do the last one, I’m ready, I want it so badly, please.”

Duck begins teasing the fourth finger, “Think all those wants of yours sound real good. You wanna know mine?”

“Absolutely. AHaahnnnahgod” The wrap tightens as Indrid clings to it, trying to stabilize himself as Duck fucks his hand into him hard.

“Soon as we get home, I’m gettin the strap-on and fuckin you for a solid hour at least. Gonna leave you so fuckin raw and relaxed you won’t wanna do anything but lay there, and you’ll goddamn get to because you’re mine and I’m gonna take care of you.”

“Duck” it’s a happy sob, Indrid’s cock bobbing in the air.

“Gonna take a trip somewhere private, just the two of us, and you’re gonna spend the whole fuckin time tied up, to the bed, a chair, whatever the fuck else I feel like so I can ride your dick whenever I want.”

“Yes.” Indrid is barely getting out words between his cries.

“And the next time you have the fuckin nerve to wear tight jeans the day I gotta fight, I’m gonna shove a vibration plug up that cute little ass and lock your cock in a cage so we can both be horny without bein able to get off.”

“Duck please, I’m close, please touch-”

He wraps his fingers around Indrid’s dick and works him over hard and fast, “Soon as I’m done with that fight, you’re gonna blow me in the locker room so I can focus on nailin your ass into next week when we get--ohfuck!” Cum hits his chin as Indrid gasps and squeaks, scratching at the wraps and the headboard.

If Duck ever loses his memory, he hopes this is the last moment to go; Indrid Cold, happy, safe, and satisfied while he moans Duck’s name.

Indrid is boneless as Duck undoes the bonds, though he rallies enough to pull the boxer into a hug so he can cuddle him like a teddy bear. He kisses his throat, feels his pulse even out beneath his lips.

“Duck? Does, ah, does this mean what I think it does?”

The phone rings right as he’s about to answer. It’s probably Ned, so he holds up a finger and grabs the receiver.

“Go for Duck. Yeah, yeah that’ll be fine” he nods as Ned explains the plan for their exclusive, late night dinner, “yeah, tell ‘em five; you, Minerva, Leo, me and” he winks at a beaming Indrid, “my boyfriend.”

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi Logan, how do I even start? Save this number, if you want to. I have been supporting Remy through texts for a bit. They have revealed to me some very troubling things in the past. Things like, their boyfriend kicking their cane from under them as a ‘joke’? Those kinds of things.

Virgil, that's his name by the way, also kind of yells at them a lot at times, and tells them they're worthless except for the use he can give to their body and that nobody else will ever love them. They believe they are horrible. They believe they deserve it. They appear to think their disability makes them only a burden to him and nothing else and while I have tried to convince them to the contrary I honestly don't believe I can when they're still trapped by choice in such a toxic environment.

I have tried to help and give them the tools to better their self-esteem and combat that, and send them nice text messages in general, but that hasn't helped in anything more than a superficial level. If you can do something, anything, or could take their case to someone who can something, I'd really appreciate that.

(Words: 2088)

(Talk of U!Virgil)

Logan: "That is...That is" He took a moment to gather himself "That is even worse than I had estimated"

"This must have been happening the other times we met them too right? And we didn't notice anything. We should have- we-" Patty mumbled out. Her voice was shaky.

She had just gotten home half an hour ago or so, she wasn't even fully out of her cosplay makeup. Logan had immediately pulled her into a hug which wasn't uncommon but he'd held onto her so hard it hurt and he’d been close to collapsing into the hug.

All it took was her asking if he was alright for him to tell her everything. He couldn't keep a secret from her even if he tried.

Now they sat in the couch. Logan had his head leaned on her chest and she had moved her arms around his waist. All they'd eaten was some of the leftover pie from Lo's date a few days ago because both of them were far too worked up to even think about cooking.

Patty pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to think "Okay well if they're being emotionally abused as what we know suggest then...I..is there even anyone we can contact that could help. I mean there's no- there's no evidence right? Or well- it's just- it's their word against Virgil's and if they won't even say Virgil is abusing them then there's nothing!"

"We can kidnap them" Logan pointed out.

"That we can"

Logan sighed “Do you think talking to them would even make a difference? They seem to already hate me so now it’s even less likely that they’ll listen”

“Well honey you can always try. They go to the same therapist as Janus right? So you can just casually ‘run into them’ right?” She gave him a loving kiss “I know my lil smarty-sweetheart can help them”

He sent her a tired smile “I’ll try”

--

Remy wasn’t as upset from the therapy session as they usually were. It had mostly been discussing how they felt about maybe being poly. They still thought they deserved a smoke break afterwards though so now they sat on bench right outside the entrance, they were on their third cigarette.

They had their head leaned against the back of the bench and was looking up at the greying sky and falling leaves so they didn’t notice when Logan sat down. He kept his distance to not startle them but cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Are you also waiting for someone?” He asked.

They glanced over to him “Girl go fuck yourself with a rake”

“Noted. I will put it in my calender. I for one am here to pick up Janus after his therapy is over for the day. Mayhaps I will show him some more star trek”

“Okay great gal. Then I’m just like waiting for Remus I guess” They pressed the cigarette into their leather jacket to put it out so they could leave as soon as they saw their cru- friend.

Logan inched closer “Is your bruise healing well?”

“Just ‘cause we’re in the same place doesn’t mean we have to talk to each other!” They snapped back.

“Exscuse me, I was simply worried about your physical health”

They rolled their eyes and crossed their arms before mumbling out “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I haven’t done it again so like forget it” 

“I am relieved to hear that”

Silence fell over them. Remy refused to look at him. Logan tried to figure out what was the best way to ask them about Virgil.

“....Your boyfriend did not insult you once you came home right?” He asked them in such a soft tone as if any slight wrong saying would make them implode on themself.

“Girl there you go again with your stupid fucking bullshit. I don’t wanna like talk about it!....Not ‘cause anything happened but ‘cause I hate you! You don’t- we don’t- we’re not friends! Why are you just like forcing yourself in on my private life! It’s like- it’s like fucking stalking!”

Logan reached out his hand to comfort them but quickly stopped himself “I am sorry. I don’t know how to best formulate this but I sincerely don’t mean to upset you like, neither do I know how to not upset you. All I know is that I want you to be okay and that if my partner treated me like yours seem to do I wouldn’t be able to stay”

Remy’s hair fell in front of their face as they leant their head in their plams “You don’t get it” They muttered.

“I am sure I don-”

“IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY! It’s not like I have any savings an-and I’m not able to keep a job and without Virgil I have no way to buy medicine and- Like do you just want me to walk out and become homeless and like starve to death? Is that it? Like even if I wanted to leave, which I don’t, It’s not like I have a choice!”

A quiet sniffle came from them. Logan gave them a moment to gather their breathe.

“I...I didn’t mean to make it sound like leaving was easy” Logan murmured “I understand that you have probably been forced to think like you have no choice but to stay. I am aware of how crippling manipulation like that can be” 

He leaned closer and even though they didn’t look at him he still sent them his most caring look as he continued.

“But I promise you that there are other options. You aren’t stuck. I am willing to let you stay at my apartment for however long you need and if you aren’t comfortable with that I am sure Janus or Remus would let you stay as well. I can even pay for a motel if that would be better. Depending on what part of your disability is making you unable to work I am sure that could be fixed. For example a wheelchair could help! My point is that you do have a choice, even if it’s very understandably hard to think that”

Remy’s shoulders were shaking. Logan gently placed his hand on top of their bony shoulder. Every vein was visible through their light skin.

At just the hint of his touch they flinched away. They stumbled up from the bench and took a few steps away. They looked at him with reddened eyes.

“No. No. Girl you- you just don’t get it! That’s all!” They spat out, their voice was shaky as well “You haven’t like lived with me. Once you or Remus o-or anyone spends enough time with me you’ll realize what an annoying overemotional burden I am! An-and then I’ll get thrown out! Okay!? So-so it’s not really- I don’t actually have a choice ‘cause I’ll just get thrown out. Virgil is the only who will ever bother to deal with me for this long! ‘cause he loves me! And no one else will love me like he does. S-so just shut up!”

Logan stood up as well and took an unsure step towards them. They looked so weak, as if a single push from the wind would make them crumble. 

“It’s okay. I hear what you are saying” Logan assured.

“An-and it’s like- Virgil needs me! And I need him! That’s like how it works! I can’t just leave him! What if- who will calm him down from his panic attacks?! And if I leave what if he gets s-so upset and like anxious he hurts himself! He’s said there was a chance he would!! I can’t risk it! I have to stay! He needs me! I-I need- I can’t- I can’t leave”

Logan nodded along “It’s okay. I understand. I understand”

“You don’t! You’re a idiotic bitch! I hope all your stupid fucking ties get destroyed in the washer!” Remy was close to yelling.

“Harsh but I see your point. To be honest everything you have said has made me even more worried. From my experience a relationship shouldn’t make you feel this way! It shouldn’t make you come up with reasons to stay! It shouldn’t hurt you!” Logan reached out to comfort them once more. “I promise it shouldn’t hurt”

“It’s not hurting me! YOU are hurting me!”

Logan was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say. His arms moved to hang helplessly along his sides. Remy opened their mouth to say something more but then

“Hey uh what’s going on? Are you roleplaying a death match?” Remus stood in the entrance to the building. He glanced between the two of them.

“This idiot is trying to destroy my relationship!” Remy exclaimed.

“While it is not my place to explain the full situation without their permission I can assure you that I am merely worrying for their mental and physical health and I am unsure if their relationship is good for them from what I’ve heard” Logan explained.

Remus barely even hesitated before moving in front of Remy. He moved his arms out and let them lean against him to catch their breathe, like he was a human shield protecting them from Logan. 

Logan hadn’t seen Remus angry before and he didn’t look fully enraged, but there was a hint of anger in eyes as he sneered at him.

“Well I’m sorry Loganson but not every relationship is totally perfect and works without any arguments like you and your wife relationship apparently does!” He spat out.

“I can assure you that me and my wife’s relationship hasn’t been argument free but that doesn’t mean I have ever even thought about insulting her like Remy’s boyfriend seemingly ha-”

“You’re not Remy!” Remus snapped “You’re a guy who dresses like a 40 year old math teacher who is losing the children in the divorce! Leave them alone!” 

Remy was bordering on cowering behind Remus. Their whole body seemed to shake as a few tears spilled down their cheeks. They met Logan’s eyes.

“If the bullshit you’re saying is true, which it like isn’t but if it was that- that means I’ve spent my whole life being abused” They forced out through tears “How can you Ever you expect me to live with that?”

Logan didn’t have an answer to that. He watched on as Remus placed his hands on Remy’s shoulders and gently guided them to turn away. He bonked their foreheads together and wiped their tears away.

“C’mon beanie-boo I can take you to the amusement park to cheer you up! Or we can find some lsd and get high so you can hallucinate beating the shit out of the stinky Log guy!” Remus exclaimed as they walked away.

A headache began to form in Logan’s head as he slumped back down on the bench. He stared out at the nearly empty parking lot. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. 

He wished he could talk to Virgil. He wished he could see him eye to eye and chew him out for ever making Remy feel like a burden, for ever making them feel trapped. A part of him wanted to punch him.

He was so zoned out into the overthinking he didn’t realize how much time was passing until Janus got out from his therapy session. As soon as Jan saw his boyfriend he let up into a shining smile and hurried over to him.

“Hi dear! Aww did you miss me so much you had to come pick me up! How charming!” Janus hesitated before kissing Logan on the lips. It still made him all giggly.

Normally seeing him so giddy would have made Logan overabundant with happiness....but now all he could think about was if he should tell Janus about Remy’s situation or not. They were friends right? Could it help? Would they listen to their friend?

Logan’s head hurt so bad. None of it made sense. There was no logical answer. How Janus reacted could make everything worse. He didn’t want to ruin everything more than he already had.

“Darling? Are you feeling alright? Has something happened?” Janus asked while taking his hand.

“I....I....” Logan looked over to you.

Logan: “I am so sorry to do this but do you have any idea what to do? The human emotion and it’s reactions are so illogical I don’t- I don’t understand- I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry- Should I tell Janus about the suspected abuse or should I lie?”

[pricemarshfield]

i dig you

A fluffy, angsty Amberprice fic. Chapter 2/2. Read the chapter on AO3 here, or the full fic here.

It's hard to drive with only one hand, especially a truck as big and old and clunky as this one, but Rachel doesn't plan on letting go of Chloe's hand for anything short of divine fucking intervention right now. Right now, Chloe's happy--definitely still drunk, which means definitely still a little volatile, a little quick to anger, but smiling right now, looking out the window like Arcadia Bay's not such a terrible thing to look at, here on the way out.

Out. God, it feels like the whole world's opening up, and that's exciting, that's wonderful, unless Rachel missteps and it'll just expand until they're nothing, just someone on the side of the road.

But that's not important. She's not gonna think like that right now. She can get into a big crazy anxiety freak-out in her own head, later, once Chloe's fallen asleep. For now, she squeezes her hand again. Chloe squeezes back immediately.

The drive to her house takes awhile longer than the drive from Blackwell to Chloe's place. Chloe lives on the--not the bad side of town, because she's through falling for her dad's smug, self-assured way of seeing the world, but definitely the...less wealthy one. It's not something Rachel likes to think about, especially not once Chloe had confessed to giving away a couple hundred they could've used to get out of here so that her mom wouldn't have to pawn her wedding ring, something Rachel had gotten angry about for a minute, something that had led to a full-on screaming fight in the junkyard.

Rachel had basically had to grovel for forgiveness. It's one of the times she's had to that she thinks was actually justified.

You can see the difference between their two parts of town as Rachel drives. She crosses one intersection, and the houses stand taller, colors brighter, more uniform, no chipped paint or cracked windows in sight.

There's also plenty of campaign signs scattered about here, her dad's annoying face peppered everywhere. Chloe must catch Rachel's face, because she leans in conspiratorially, like someone else is here that could hear them, and says, "If I were driving, I'd run it over."

Rachel laughs, startled out of her confusing mood, and says, "Keep an eye out for one that isn't above a curb. I don't think your truck could take it."

"My truck can take anything," Chloe says, then snickers at it. "Take anything, that's what she said."

"You dork," Rachel says. They're getting close to her house, now, and the houses are all second-story, all have wide, pretty lawns with flowers, all have stained-glass windows. She'd used to love those, especially the ones in her house. They're not there anymore. She'd gotten drunk and angry and didn't have Chloe's lighter that time, so she took her anger out by throwing a rock through the glass in the front of the house.

It shattered really, really satisfyingly, but now, when she pulls up, there's just a single pane of glass, tinted so that no one can see through. She'd lied and said she was looking for the spare key and just dropped the rock and it had fallen just in the wrong way, that she wasn't fucking drunk, God, why does James have to be so fucking paranoid?

Neither of them had believed her. Rose pretended to, at least.

Rachel has the art of sneaking into her or Chloe's house down to a science, and Chloe's muscle memory makes up for her being drunk, and they're up the stairs and in Rachel's room without making a creak or anything. She taps her hand against Chloe's in a silent high-five, back to excited. Chloe's all bright eyes and excitement, grabbing a duffel bag that's been underneath Rachel's bed for "when they're ready" for almost a year now and shoving random things in there.

"Chloe, c'mon, I don't need all that crap," Rachel says, kneeling down next to her. "I mean, this is--my Theater 1 textbook, are you trying to tell me something about my acting skills, Price?"

Chloe giggles, a sound she doesn't think she's heard ever, and Rachel can't help but beam at her. This, this is what it should be, this is what she wants! She wants Chloe to keep looking at her like that, happy and ready to take on the world and at Rachel's side forever. "No! You know I think you're--I mean, you're good at acting, you know that."

"I do," Rachel says, and risks a quick kiss to Chloe's cheek, because she can't not kiss her. Chloe actually puts a hand to her face, which is just about the sweetest thing, even if it makes Rachel feel bad about the fact that Chloe's so taken aback by it. "Want to help me pick what clothes to bring?"

Chloe sighs, but she's still smiling. "Sure. But we're not doing full fashion show, I want to be out of here before sun-up."

They have, like, six hours before sunrise, but Rachel doesn't actually want to do a fashion show, either. It's just--something, Chloe picking what she'll wear. Rachel's closet isn't that big, but she's packed so many clothes in there that a few fall over onto the floor when she opens the door. The first shirt she pulls out is Firewalk, which she shoves in the duffel bag right away.

"Aw, sentimental," Chloe teases, poking her cheek. Rachel bats her hand away. The next shirts are all boring, discarded without a conversation. Next is her costume for one of her first plays. It doesn't fit her, and it makes no sense to bring it, but she holds onto it for a long moment anyway, the bright red and completely historically inaccurate dress that she wore the first time she stood in front of a crowd and knew they were all watching her.

"You wanna do cosplay?" Chloe asks, voice gentler than the words would imply, and Rachel puts it firmly in the do not bring pile.

"We'll get it back when we get a place," Rachel says, and Chloe nods. "I'll ask them not to touch any of my stuff."

"That'll just make them think you're coming back," Chloe says, voice dull.

Rachel shrugs. "Not my fault what they assume."

That fixes it; Chloe's back to smiling. She vetoes one shirt, approves most of the rest, and then the bag's half-full and Rachel realizes that she's got so many other things to get through. Her tarot decks take up room, and then her flashlight is huge, but they can carry that one, and Chloe's face goes bright pink when she makes a beeline for it, so.

The bag fills up fast, and Rachel's left thinking...she wants more. They have a whole truck, they can fit a second bag, right? But deciding what to bring: she wants her bullet journal, she wants her pipes, not just the weed left in a little baggie, she wants she wants she wants.

"I know that look on your face," Chloe says, and it comes out bitter and mean, and Rachel's already prepping to defend herself. "You're chickening out?"

"I don't want to leave all this behind," she says, and sounds very young and very stupid.

"It's just--stuff! Who gives a shit!" Chloe says, loud enough that Rachel instinctively shushes her, which just pisses off Chloe more, even though she quiets down. "I knew you'd do this. I can't believe I got my fucking hopes up, you want to leave me, not Arcadia Bay, where are my goddamn keys--"

"Chloe, no," Rachel says, because Chloe is still drunk enough that Rachel can picture her in some fiery wreck of a fucked-up cycle that Rachel would never forgive herself for. "Chloe, come on, we just need to plan more, I still want to leave Arcadia Bay with you--"

"Fucking Bigfootville, I hate this fucking place, and I hate--"

Rachel doesn't want to hear another rant about this place, doesn't want Chloe to be pissed at her, really doesn't want her behind the wheel, and she just wants Chloe to be happy like she was not twenty fucking minutes ago, so she does the only thing she can think of, and kisses her.

Chloe doesn't step back, leans right into it, hungry for the kiss in a way that has Rachel's toes curling, a little. This isn't anything like Frank; it's better and sweeter and feels like something she could do forever. Minutes later, or maybe hours, Rachel eventually pulls back. Chloe's not smiling like she was earlier, but there's a raw hope on her face that's so much better, that hurts so much worse.

"Oh," Chloe says.

"Of course I wanna leave with you," Rachel whispers, right against Chloe's lips, and she shivers. "I just wanna do it right. We need more money, for one."

"Okay," Chloe says with a nod. "I can do that."

When Rachel leaves Arcadia Bay with Chloe, it'll be a victory march, the start of a grand new adventure. But for now, this: Chloe's hand in hers, a bag under the bed with all her favorite things...it's enough.

[canonconspiracy]

Khaleesi (Ben Wyatt x Fem!Reader)

AN: In efforts to post more on here specifically, this is one that I just cross-posted into my Michael Shur Oneshot Collection (Wattpad and Ao3 - rmorningstar21).

Fandom: Parks and Recreations

Pairing: Ben Wyatt x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

"Hey there, you stunning woman you!" You said into your phone, a smile across your features.  You sat upon your dresser, staring at your newest project confidently.  It had just been finished, and you couldn't be happier with how it turned out.  Everything was as perfect as you could make it, from each in seam all the way down to the wig styling.  Your best friend was the first person you thought to contact, primarily for a fun little favor.  She always seemed to love participating in your little projects anyhow, when she wasn't busy.  "Guess who just finished up a masterpiece." 

"No way, Joe Biden?" She guessed, with a clear smile against her own features.  

You rolled your eyes at your silly friend.  "I'm sure Markie Mark would be so jealous," you teased back.  "But seriously, Les, I'm super duper proud of this one.  You have any time coming up that we could head over to the park for some pics?" 

"What did you do this time?" She said curiously.  "Come on, you're on speaker.  Let us hear all about it!" 

"Who am I on speaker phone with?" You asked cautiously.  "Oh well, eff it.  I'm going to be the mother of dragons, Khaleesi outfit.  I even made a little dragon plush for Drogo." 

"I have no idea what any of that means," Leslie said with a chuckle, a smile clear in her voice.  "But the stupid surprise face on Ben's face means it has to be nerdy." 

"Hey!" You heard a male voice counter, likely the Ben that she meant.  

"I figured you wouldn't," you said with a chuckle.  "It's fantastic that at least someone does.  It's Game of Thrones.  I know your schedule is normally packed, but I'm flexible.  Whenever you're up for it." 

Leslie paused for a moment, an idea coming to mind as she glanced between the others at the Parks Department meeting.  "Do you mind if I bring some friends?" She said slyly.  "I've been dying to get you to meet them." 

You bit your lip, thinking about it.  Your eyes glanced over to the hopeful outfit that you had made, thinking maybe one day you would have you Khal.  "You think any of them would fit in a male's medium?" You said slyly, a little jest in your tone.  Knowing best not to get your hopes up, though you would love some killer Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen photos.  

"I mean," Leslie said, laughter clear in her words, "if you want to drop off the outfit at City Hall, I could have someone try it."

*** 

You felt a little anxiety bubbling inside of you as the time drew closer.  A few days prior, you dropped off your Khal Drogo cosplay that you custom made at City Hall, with absolutely no inkling as to who Leslie was going to have wear it.  On top of that, she gave you that whole sneaky wink that she has that only showed she was up to no good.  Being her best friend, you knew she was far from sneaky.  

"Well, if they all hate me, at least they'll hate me as Dany," you mused as you spun around in front of your window, checking out the cosplay one more time.  You were in your mid twenties, likely younger than most of Leslie's friends.  As the Khaleesi, you wore practically snow white blonde hair down past your chest and slightly crimped.  Your outfit consisted of the ragged off white outfit that Daenerys wore after marrying Khal Drogo.  Everything you had created for it was mint, while the little dragon plush was simply for a little extra fun.  

A knock sounded at your door and you inhaled deeply to calm yourself.  Striding to the door with confidence, you slipped out your door to literally be surrounded by the entire Parks Department, and more.  Apparently when Leslie meant she wanted you to meet her friends, she meant all of them.  Immediately pulling Leslie into a hug, you whispered, "You're lucky I have a lot of acreage." 

"Well, I couldn't pick just a few, so," Leslie said with excitement in your tone, "I brought everyone." 

Beside her stood Markie Mark, as you liked to call ark Brezanowitz, her long term boyfriend.  Next to him stood Ann Perkins, whom you had met offhandedly a few times.  The rest of the crew, though, you had no idea.  After greeting Mark and Ann, Leslie introduced you to each and every one.  

As you noticed that little twinkle in her eyes, you knew there was something strange up.  For one, no one out of the group you were introduced to clearly wore your Khal Drogo outfit, and the fact that she was practically beaming at you had you curious.  When she said, "I already set up your backyard for the set!  Let's go!"  you could feel anxiety rising.  

When she said she set it up, it was clearly an understatement.   The camera was set up professionally, surely by someone else, since you always had to fix it for her.  What caught your eye was something that would truly have the Khaleesi blush, and your face was as red as a tomato.  

Looking off, clearly awaiting everyone's arrival, stood a handsome and lithe Khal Drogo.  Though he did not have the perfect body type for the cosplay, he was clearly handsome covered in the outfit you created.  He stood taller than you, and once he glanced your way, you could see his chocolate brown orbs that made you melt.  The excited smile that tugged upon his lips had your heart aflutter.  

"M'ach," you greeted in Dothraki as you moved closer to the male.  "I didn't expect Leslie to get me such a handsome Khal, but I greatly appreciate you doing this." 

"You speak Dothraki?" He said with an eyebrow raised, though the excitement did not leave his face.  "I was thrilled to be chosen, especially since I'm sure I'm the only Game of Thrones fan in the majority of City Hall.  I'm Ben Wyatt, and you must be Y/N?" 

You nodded with a large smile against your lips.  "It's a pleasure, and I speak a little," you said sheepishly.  "Just as Dany, I know bits and pieces of the dialect." 

"Okay, nerds," the man you were introduced to under the name of Tom Haverford said with a laugh.  "How about you two get into positions." 

You ended up positioning your Khal for multiple photographs, before he began getting into the character more.  The two of you had been blushing messes half the time, and you were sure that a great deal of the photographs would not be useable, but kept for memory purposes.  

As the two of you got further into shooting, Ben moved his hands to either side of your face as he said, "Yer zheannae sekke." 

You prayed your face did not hold too much blush as you replied, "Yer mezahe sekke."  A smirk pulled upon your lips as you replied, though you did wish to call him handsome instead of simply sexy, your knowledge of Dothraki was small.  

As the two of you simply stared into one another's eyes, you could hear the camera continuing to take photographs.  The one thing you had been too shy to accomplish, Ben was not, as he captured your lips for the photographs.  Surely, you thought he was simply putting on a show for your collection, but you could still feel your heart reverberating in your chest.  Mentally, you had been screaming.  

When the two of you had been done modeling your outfits, you both excused yourselves inside to change.  Ben had thankfully brought a spare outfit, knowing he wanted to leave your property with you.  Once he entered your home, though, his eyes were wide in shock.  

"So, you're a professional cosplayer?" He questioned as his eyes moved between different creations you had made.  

You hummed in approval, a smile against your lips as you moved to grab your street clothes.  "Are you sure you haven't modeled like that before?" You asked with an eyebrow raised, turning to meet chocolate brown eyes.  "You surprised me out there." 

He took off your wig to reveal partially mussed brown locks, appearing much more handsome than he had even in the Khal Drogo attire.  Sheepishly, he smiled, a clear bit of blush risen in his cheeks.  "That was genuine," he replied sheepishly.  "You're very beautiful, and I apologize if I crossed a line." 

You told him just a second before you went to change back into your normal clothes.  Brushed through y/h/c locks and your normal attire, you bit your lip gently, wondering if the handsome man would still be attracted to you as, well, you.  Emerging from the bathroom, you were shocked to see that he had already changed out of his own outfit as well, simply buttoning up his shirt as you came out.  

"I'm curious, handsome, do you still think that without the cosplay?" You teased, a smile tugging against your lips.  

His chocolate gaze was sincere as he smiled down at you, nodding and he said, "Khaleesi or not, you're beautiful, and I'd love to get to know you better." 

"I'm sure I'd love that," you said shyly.  

____________

Leaving this note at the end as to not ruin the one shot itself, but like - can you picture Ben as Khal Drogo?  I think I would die immediately. 

[thekitsune]

MikaSasha Week Day 6 - First Kiss Late Submission

This is two days late. Sorry everyone, but like I mentioned before. Work at my job was just awful the last two days. I finally got it done though, and before the Week ended thankfully ^^

This is a continuation to my ‘First Date’ submission so I hope you all remember it or are excited. Also, I made a slight reference to one of @llamaalpacca ‘s submissions in this, but it isn’t in the same continuity as their’s. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Sasha was not sure how they reached this point. After their first date, she was worried that Mikasa might not have been too happy with it, but then she was presented with a bracelet as a gift followed by a kiss on the cheek. To say that she was flustered would be an understatement. (She ran into two poles on the way home). She was so happy for the next few days and continued texting with Mikasa all that time. (She did spend several minutes on each text though. She was lucky enough to have a good date with her, she didn't want to ruin it with some stupid text!)

Where was she going with all this? Oh yeah, she had no idea how she ended up stuck in a closet with Mikasa. She remembers that their college was throwing a festival, and she wanted to enjoy it with Mikasa. So she asked the girl out on a second date. Mikasa was surprised, but she instantly agreed. The moment they arrived, Mikasa took Sasha's hand into her own and began walking around. Mikasa seemed to be enjoying herself. She had to refrain from laughing at the cute look that the girl had when she spotted a four foot stuffed panda at a sharpshooter's booth. She had made a mental plan to come back to it so that she could win it for her.

Anyway, they ran into Connie and Eren who asked them if they could grab something for them from the closet for their class's cosplay cafe. (they were cosplaying as characters from some kind of giant-slaying anime) Honestly, Sasha justed wanted to enjoy her date with Mikasa, but she owed Connie for lending her the money to pay for the bill at the restaurant they went to on their first date. Plus, Mikasa mentioned something about owing Eren for something as well so they agreed to go grab it for them and continue with their date.

They got to the closet, and Sasha began looking around inside it for whatever Connie had said they needed, honestly she couldn't remember what it was now. When she told Mikasa, her date walked in and also began looking around. As they looked though, they were surprised to hear the door behind them slam shut. Gasping, Sasha had grabbed the handle to try and open it, but the door wouldn't budge. Mikasa kindly asked her to move and proceeded to ram it with her shoulder. And while it was impressive, and hot, to see the door, and wall, gain cracks from the force of the hit, the door remained shut.

The two groaned and went to text Connie and Eren, but the boys were not messaging back for some reason. Sasha had groaned and pulled at her hair in anger. Mikasa just sighed in annoyance before sitting on the floor, or she would have if Sasha hadn't stopped her. The floor was filthy so Sasha had placed her jacket on the floor for Mikasa to sit on. The memory of Mikasa's blushing, smiling face just caused Sasha to get flustered again.

Hm, yeah everything is caught up now. "So, how much longer do you think we'll be in here?" Sasha asked Mikasa from her spot on the floor in front of her. Mikasa sighed as she leaned back against the wall.

"I have no idea. When Eren cosplays, he gets really into the role. Like really into it. I'm surprised he dropped the act long enough to ask me for a favor," Mikasa informed Sasha who groaned as she looked back at her phone.

"And Connie was probably too stupid to charge his phone today so it's probably dead," Sasha groaned as she began to pound her head against her knee. Mikasa watched for a few seconds before gently taking her by the shoulder and stopping her. Sasha looked at her with an embarrassed smile before stopping.

As the two sat there in silence, they began thinking about their situation as well as other things. "Sasha...?" Mikasa quietly uttered Sasha's name which caused the girl to look up at her in confusion. "Yes?" Sasha responded.

"I'm sorry I let our second date end up like this. I should have told Eren I was spending time with you so I could pay back my debt later," Mikasa apologized while looking at Sasha apologetically. Sasha's eyes widened before she quickly got on her knees and leaned over so she could cup Mikasa's cheeks.

"Hey this is no one's fault...besides whoever hit the door outside. I'll beat the crap out of whoever did it even if it was an accident! *ahem* Anyway, this is not your fault. I also agreed to do this to pay back Connie for a favor he did for me. Besides, our date isn't over yet nor is it ruined. I'm still with you after all! I would happily sit in silence with you over doing literally anything else even eating!...okay maybe, not eating...well...let me get back to you on that one, but everything else I would put to the side to spend time with you!" Sasha reassured Mikasa with a smile on her face. Mikasa's face lit up red as she heard this.

Sasha blushed as she saw this and was about to move back, but Mikasa had gently taken hold of her shoulders and leaned up. Feeling her eyes widen, Sasha let out a small gasp as she began trembling in shock, anticipation, and slight fear. However, all that evaporated as soon as she felt Mikasa gently kiss her. Closing her eyes, Sasha wrapped her arms around Mikasa and melted into the kiss. Shifting off Sasha's now dirty jacket and onto her lap, the two continued kissing...until the door opened and they fell out and into the hallway.

Feeling both of their faces going red, they looked up and saw a smug Eren and Connie looking down at them. "Told you they would end up finally kissing if we locked them in a room together," Eren smugly stated causing Connie to laugh.

"Yeah, you were right. Hopefully now, Sasha will shut up about not having kissed Mikasa yet. That got annoying fast," Connie replied with Eren nodding in response.

"I totally get what you mean. Mikasa went on and on about how she just wished Sasha would swoop her into her arms and kiss her already. I had to get them to kiss somehow. There's only so much I can take," Eren complained with Connie laughing. All the while, the two boys were absolutely obviously to the growling, angry girls slowly raising to their feet behind them. Having stood up first, Sasha tapped Connie on the shoulder which caused him to turn and immediately pale. Eren, confused, did the same only to gasp.

"I want to beat the living crap out of the both of you, but," Sasha motioned to her girlfriend who still had her head down and was still growling...while the closet door behind them finally shattered as if by Mikasa's own anger, (or it was a delayed effect from her ramming into it earlier) "I think you both will face much worse. Thank you for the help with the kiss. Accept our appreciation." Sasha proceeded to step back as Mikasa took a step forward in silence now. The boys whimpered as they glanced at each other before turning and running for their lives.

Mikasa moved to chase them, but momentarily stopped as Sasha gently put her hand on her shoulder. "When you're done with them, meet me at the sharpshooter's booth," Sasha simply stated before giving a small smile. Mikasa returned it with a nod before scowling again and chasing the boys. Sasha would pray that Mikasa went easy on them, but she honestly didn't care at this point.

As she walked over to grab her dirty jacket, the memory of the kiss flashed in her brain for a moment which caused her to blush. Smiling softly, she began to head to the booth. If she managed to win Mikasa that panda then maybe she will be rewarded with another kiss. Chuckling with a dopey smile on her face, she ran to the booth. All the while, everyone in the festival heard the screams of terror and pain from two, very dumb  boys.