#i can very confidently say that i have never really understood what it meant to “feel like myself again”

[shitpostdevil]

watching this blog come together is kind of wild

like I would actually perish at this point if it disappeared bc I've put so much work into it

[tan1shere]

Slumber Party

Ellie williams x fem reader!

A/n: Hello my lovelies, first post on here (more active on wattpad) but thought I'd occasionally post here when I'm bored. If you have any requests at all they're definitely open! Also this is kinda short but I don't plan on making the next part as short. Enjoyyyy ☆°•

My masterlist

Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend

Warnings: smut, (not in this chapter) read at your own risk (mdni) Dom but soft, protective, ellie! Reader is quite innocent, is very soft also. Cunnilingus (duh- also not in this chapter) your girlfriend in this is an asshole. Abuse, somewhat angst, crying. Lmk if there was anything else!

Pt 2 here! ~ pt 3 here!

Ellie hated Isabel, your girlfriend. She treated you horribly, and Ellie really hated when you'd bawl your eyes out over the phone to her whenever Isabel would storm out of your shared apartment. She hated the fact anyone would make you cry. She never liked seeing you unhappy. Isabel shared this hatred. She never liked you hanging around Ellie, even if you have known Ellie almost all your life. She would scold you after everytime you and her would hang out. You'd come back to the apartment smiling. "What're you smiling about?" You just smile more happy to tell. "Ellie she makes the funniest jo-" "I don't like you being round her Y/n." You would always stare blankly at her, struggling to find the words, leaving your mouth open while you ponder.

Today was not off to a great start. Ellie had just been over, you two were having such a great time. "I should probably get going squirt." She would flash her smile at you, ruffling your hair slightly, as she stood to go to the door. Ellie was a bit older then you, and come to think of it so was Isabel. Let's just say you had a thing for older ladies. (Only by like 6 years) You also stand up, seeing her out and saying goodbye. But as you open the door you're met woth those dark brown eyes. Isabel had just arrived back from work. She glares at the auburn haired girl, making her way inside. "Well hi to you too." Ellie scoffs then looks at you. "Text you when im home." You give her a small nod and a smile before she leaves to her car. You turn around to be faced with a stern Isabel. "You know how I feel about her being in our home. Especially when I'm not here." You never really talk back to Isabel you always apologize and go into the kitchen to make food. She was truly a bitch and she started showing her true colors the moment you two moved in together. You never understood what you would do so wrong. You made every dinner. Every lil food she'd want. The laundry. Just to please her. And although it'd work, it'd never last. "I'm sorry Iz.. She just really wanted to show me this art she was working on and in person. Nothing more I swear." She let's out a scoff. "Why should I believe you it's almost every day you spend with her. It's sickening and pathetic." You stare at her as she says that. She would always make you feel stupid. When in fact you were quite smart you knew what most things meant. Maybe not so much bedroom stuff. But you were book smart nonetheless. Speaking of bedroom. You were basically a virgin. You've kissed Isabel many times done a lil something here and there but it was definitely not much. So you were certainly not confident on that subject. Although Ellie would tell you all sorts of stories about the girls she's been with. It fascinated you to learn all these new terms and what everything was. "I promise to talk to you before hand next time-" She instantly cuts you off. "Why are you still standing here. Cook, I've been working all day." She spits going to your guys shared bedroom. You sigh doing so. And that was your life.

It was maybe a couple weeks after, you had felt like you were coming down with something so you decided that bed rest was the best thing. It was now 3 in the afternoon. You were sleeping in your bed when the door busted open. "What the fuck are you still doing in bed it's almost 4!" Isabel was home and not happy. You sit up a bit. "Yes I know I'm sorry bu-" She drops her bags. "This place is a mess, there's dishes out. Foods not even ready. Laundry is still in the hamper. What fucking else." You look at her softening your look. "Iz, I'm sorry- I woke up feeling horrid so I decided to stay in bed." She shakes her head. "Even when I have the worst headache known to man I still get my ass up and work. You know all that sweet money, I work for that. And you work here that is your job." This was one of the moments were you'd feel bad for yourself. Weak. Weaker right now considering you're sick. You look down at the sheets. "Are you even listening to me? You spoiled brat." She doesn't do what she does next often but when she does you know you're in the shit. She hits you. Hard. "Wonder why I have a headache all the time. It's you and your whiney voice. Look at how pathetic you are." She glares down at your drowsy figure. You feel tears finally sting as you had held them in. Refusing to let yourself be so weak, but you give in. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions right now. "What the fuck are you gunna be like when I go away in a few weeks huh? You better keep this place spotless you know about the cameras. I'll be watching you." Yes. The oh so lovely cameras. They're only in the kitchen, living room and laundry. The only places you slave away at. "I will iz I promise." She hums. "I'll believe it when i see it. I needa go out and grab some stuff. Make sure dinners ready when I get back." She says before getting her keys and leaving. You then sob. Letting it all out as you shakily grab your phone going to the only person who knows how to comfort you. Ellie.

When she arrives not long after, giving a honk. You go outside and get in the passenger seat. "Off anywhere?" You shake your head. "No that's alright. I don't want to get yelled at.." Ellie sighs. "Bub, you can't keep letting her treat you like this-" "if I left I'd have nowhere to go Els.." She keeps looking at you. "Yes you do. Mine." You let out a small breath looking down at your hands. "Everythings so messy." She nods, even if you can't see. "I know angel but my offer still and will forever stand. I think you should take it." You just wipe the small tears forming at your eyes. "How was your day?" She hates how you change the subject. She always has. She wants to talk about it with you more. Comfort you more. "Pretty easy going. Do you want a hug love?" You shake your head. "Its best if you don't come near me right now-" "I promise it's not gunna affect me if you cry. You know that." You nod. "I know, but I'm sick- thats why she yelled at me.." She furrows her brows. "She got mad at you because you weren't feeling well? What a fucking bitch." You sigh, in the midst of a slight cough. "Angel you should go back in and rest. Let me help-" You immediately shake your head. "She'd know you were there. I- I couldn't risk that." You always felt awful. Not because you got yelled at but because she would want to pick a fight with Ellie too. Ellie was older then Iz too, more mature. Never bought into her crap. "I'll make sure she doesn't yell at you, you really need rest you work your ass off-" You stop her talking. "I don't want her to try anything with you Els." She shakes her head. "She won't. I promise just let me make you some soup and tuck you in. Please, just that." You contemplate whether or not you should but you nod regardless.

She was making the soup trying to be as speedy in hopes she wouldn't bump into Isabel. "Here you go. Say you made it for yourself. I also cleaned a lil." She sends you a wink. And when she says a lil she means the whole lot. "Els, you seriously didn't have to." She smiles gently. "No but I wanted to. I also made something else. Knowing grump would be hungry when she gets back." You look at her so thankful. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you." She gives you a kiss on the head. "Call if you need anything else. I love you." She says while looking in your eyes. "I love you too Els." You respond sweetly. Oh how stupid you were to realize how INlove she was with you. But she plans to show you sooner or later. As she's the one you should truly, be with.

[redcrescentmoons]

Can you write a fic where Logan (If you write for him ofc if not, it could be Max, too) meets reader (Reader could be a celebrity of some kind like an actor or a NASCAR driver) in a gala or fancy event and it's kind of just love at first sight. For the rest of the event Logan/ Max tries to ask the reader out maybee? :3

It would be pretty cool but I'm pretty sure this idea has already been used countless times already buuuuut it would be pretty cool though

Thanks for reading this :D

Can’t keep my eyes off you

Logan Sargeant x gn!actor!reader

Note: You didn’t specify a reader gender (I write male and gender neutral readers) so I made it gender neutral but I can change it on request

In all honesty, Logan had never been a fan of all the fancy events he had to go to. He understood what it meant for him and for the team of course, but that didn’t mean they were his cup of tea.

Luckily for him, Alex was there too, and he knew that meant they could spend the entire evening chatting and waiting for the event to come to an end.

They weren’t the only Formula 1 drivers there; and frankly, apart for Lewis, most of them wanted to leave as well.

And so Logan stuck to his group, the people he saw every week, because it was better then socializing.

As they talked in their corner, drinks in hand, Logan fidgeted around; his suit was too uncomfortable, it was too warm in the crowded room, his dress shoes were squishing his feet.

A late arrival had everyone turning their heads: it was a very good-looking person, one that Logan didn’t recognize, but captured his attention nonetheless.

His fidgeting stopped; he went completely still, jaw slack and eyes wide, as he observed the newcomer.

"Who is that?" he was whispered to Alex, in hopes of getting some information about the stranger.

"Oh them? That’s Y/N L/N, they’re a super famous actor, I can’t believe you don’t know who they are."

So that was your name and job down. But what else could he learn about you? He had already been scolded by his team principal for using his phone too much during events, so that was ruled out.

He settled for the closest thing he could find to Wikipedia: his friends.

"What do you know about that person? Y/N L/N?" he asked the entire group.

They started blurting out random things, from your nationality to the name of your pet, and put together the information was actually quite a bit. Impressive for who he was asking.

But there was one question Logan still wanted to ask.

"And are they, by any chance, into men?" His mumbled question still managed to get picked up by his group, luckily, because he didn’t think he could say it again.

"Yes don’t worry" said Charles, the only one to have met him before "And they’re single too" the monegasque added, winking at Logan.

A slight blush spread on the American’s cheeks at being teased; and yet he couldn’t help but think about the actor, even as the conversation switched subjects.

He couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering across the room, to where you were stood, looking perfect, greeting those who came and talked to you.

Logan wondered if there was a chance he would be one of those people, to confidently walk up to you and just start a conversation.

But that wasn’t really him, was it? As much as he liked to exhibit a confident personality in interviews and such he couldn’t flirt for the life of him.

And so Logan settled for observation from afar, at least for a little bit.

He listened to what his friends were saying distractedly, half listening and the other half of his mind consumed by the stranger.

It was so unlike him, to see someone for the first time and completely fixate on them, and yet he just couldn’t help it.

Even when he tore his gaze from you it always wandered back, like a magnet. He kept thinking about what it would be like to talk to you, to actually be close, and in that moment there was nothing Logan wanted more.

He had completely spaced out, staring at you from across the room, until Max brought him back into the conversation with a "What do you think Logan?" that he honestly couldn’t respond to.

His friends laughed, finding his cluelessness funny, while filling him in on what he had missed. While he actually listened this time, Charles moved closer to Logan and whispered in his ear "Shoot your shot. Just trust me."

He couldn’t say it wasn’t helpful, given Charles was the only one to have met you before, and yet that just wasn’t enough to convince him to do it.

He turned away from their little side conversation to join back into the groups, shooting you a glance while he could.

Each time he saw your smiling face he thought about how inviting and nice you looked and how easy it would be for him to actually talk to you, and yet he still chickened out.

It was nearly two hours later now and Logan hadn’t stopped thinking about the actor for a second.

He was afraid of the evening coming to an end without him having talked to you, and it filled him with dread.

He went down the rabbit hole in his mind: What if he never did talk to you? He didn’t think he would be able to bring himself to stop thinking about you, and knew he would regret not speaking to you if he didn’t. And yet he remained afraid.

That was until Logan looked over to where he had seen you last and didn’t find you there. He looked around the large event venue, unable to find you, getting worried you had left already and he had missed his chance.

He was beginning to spiral, until he felt someone’s arm brushing against his own; no wait, someone was hugging Charles from behind. Logan didn’t think much of it until he realized it was your arm against his, and he began to blush madly.

You hadn’t seen Charles in a while, and you couldn’t wait to talk to him again, but people kept getting in your way, asking about you and telling you their opinions about their latest movies. And frankly, you wanted to check out the cute blonde boy standing next to your monegasque friend.

Logan watched you pull away from Charles, who messed with your hair playfully the moment he realized it was you.

You slotted yourself in between Charles and Logan as Charles introduced you to everyone, and Logan could feel his heart beating faster.

You started chatting with the whole group, getting to know the friends Charles had promised to introduce you to long ago.

Logan stayed quiet, admiring your beauty, and wondering if it was appropriate to pull you aside to talk privately.

Ultimately he decided it couldn’t be that bad, and when the conversation took a turn and you stayed quiet he pulled you aside, not far, just enough for a little bit of privacy.

You weren’t entirely sure what was happening, but followed suit as Logan pulled you a couple meters away from the other drivers.

"Hi! I’m Logan, we didn’t get to talk much." yep, that was a good opening line.

As Logan started his conversation he couldn’t help but fall further in love with you, entranced by your voice and personality.

Eventually he told himself he had to do it and, during the conversation, he blurted out "Do you want to go out with me?"

He wasn’t very happy with how he had done it, but knew the nerves had just taken over. He hoped it hadn’t put you off.

"I would love to" you said, smiling gently at him. He realized that wasn’t your fake smile, the one you were giving those that greeted you earlier; he felt special: he had caused your genuine smile, and he was the one that got to see it.

Little did you both know his entire group had been listening, and began to cheer as you both exchanged numbers and promised to keep in contact, right as the event came to an end.

You walked outside with Logan, Charles and their friends, Logan still smiling as he talked to you.

As you stepped in your own car, and they went to theirs individually, you said goodbye, and Logan watched you until the very moment he couldn’t anymore, excited at the prospect of your future date.

He was glad he had been unable to keep his eyes off of you.

[neos127]

Haechan was completely enamored of you— but he just couldn’t speak english. The language barrier frustrated him to no end and he wished it was as easy to convey his feelings in english as it was in korean.

You noticed how tired and distracted Haechan looked during your lunch that day. His hair was a bit messed up but it was cute and like always, he never failed to look good. Snapping out of your thoughts, you turned back to your conversation with Mark, who had been a helpful friend and translator when you met up with Haechan. The three of you all went to the same university and became close— although Haechan felt as if you preferred Mark’s company over his. After all, he grew up in an english speaking country. It was just easier for the two of you to connect.

Haechan subconsciously glared at Mark, his lips forming into a pout. He picked up a few words from the conversation, but most of it fell on deaf ears. He was frustrated and longed to make you laugh the way Mark did. He never told you, but he spent most nights studying english on some app after he finished his homework. He really wanted to talk to you— maybe even more than talk but Haechan had a long way to go before then. He knew that you were practicing korean, but it isn’t very easy to pick up a new language, especially overnight which is what Haechan wished would happen.

“Are you okay?” You suddenly asked, making Haechan’s head whip around to face yours. Mark translated for him even though Haechan understood the question perfectly. He didn’t have the energy to tell his friend off and decided to keep his eyes on you.

He nodded, putting a fake smile on his face. You frowned, quickly pulling out your phone. Haechan could see you typing and immediately knew that you were on the translation app. He tried to hold back his groan of frustration as much as he could as you wordlessly passed your phone to him.

‘You know you can tell me anything. I care about you.’

Haechan glanced at Mark before looking down at your phone again.

‘I just really wished that I could talk to you without needing Mark to translate. I want to hang out alone.’ Haechan typed out his message before sliding the phone back to you, quick enough so that way Mark couldn’t see. Haechan watched as you read the text, his stomach doing somersaults as he waited for any reaction.

You smiled slightly, quickly typing a response and handing the phone back to Haechan.

‘Who says we can’t?’

Haechan looked up with furrowed eyebrows, wondering what you meant until you sent a wink his way. He held back a smirk, sliding your phone towards you before turning to Mark. He explained that you two were going to see a movie— Haechan hoped that his friend bought the lame excuse. A sly smile stretched across Mark’s face but he waved to you guys anyways, getting up to head home.

“You ready?” Haechan asked, feeling more confident at that moment than he had all day. He held out his hand and you took it with a smile.

“Of course, cutie.”

saw an anime fic like this and was inspired! also im in my hc feels soooo

[whetstonefires]

See I don't necessarily disagree with what seems to be the primary reading that Yue Qingyuan's shifu fucked him over, caring nothing for his needs or preferences and only for whether he was useful. That makes sense, it ties into plenty of the generational and societal themes of the story. It fits.

But iirc we don't actually get enough information to know that's what happened.

And the thing is it would be so in-character and also thematically appropriate if Yue Qingyuan absolutely did not explain his goals or why he was working so hard, because it was private and shameful and he didn't expect any sympathy, and there was a high risk of losing everything if he blabbed.

And also if he engaged with the existing ruleset with which he was presented, i.e. 'can't go off on your own on personal business until you've mastered your sword,' in the most negative and controlling manner possible, as absolute commandments.

He's a different kind of guy but he comes from the same background as Shen Jiu! It fucked him up also!

He is very very very not a guy who trusts the system to make allowances for him--even once he has all the power he 'does what he wants' and 'makes selfish choices' as a conscious transgression; not something he has a right to do, just something he can get away with so he's gonna. (And ofc he spends almost all the latitude he grants himself on sqq.)

And even less is he a guy who opens up easily.

He isn't too proud to ask for help or pity, so much as he just doesn't expect to get any.

So in this interpretation, he understood that rule as a non-negotiable barrier in his path, the target to overcome, and focused all his considerable will and talent on overcoming it through the sphere of action he felt he had control over.

And fucked himself up bad.

Whereupon his teacher, possessing absolutely no context for this dumb shit their star pupil pulled, did the only thing they thought might work to save his life, paying in the process no attention to the raving of someone deep in a psychotic break.

Like, I feel like there should have been a better, kinder medical option, but I don't know for sure that there was, so I can't say with certainty this was the kind of cruelty that derives from not caring enough.

And it really would be kind of elegant and so typical of Yue Qingyuan's fundamental tragedy if the real mistake was 'not confiding in anybody' the whole time.

And he was just so deeply sunk into the understanding that explaining and asking were useless that, even looking back, it never really occurred to him that maybe his mistake wasn't 'fucking it up when trying too hard to solve everything on his own' but 'assuming there was no help to be had, and that he had to do it all on his own.'

Like. What if this really could all have been avoided if he'd just trusted and communicated with the adult in charge of him? But of course, of course his history of trauma (neglect, child abuse, exploitation, being the One Responsible for the younger kids whom he could not keep safe) meant he was absolutely not going to do that.

It was basically impossible. For the person he was, the person the world had made of him. And that's always been the core tragedy the whole novel circles back upon.

People can only ever be themselves, and so very often the elements of self that let them survive until now are that which dooms them, that means they need someone else to intervene if they're ever going to be saved. Because your personal doom is always the thing from which you can't save yourself.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

[rekino2114]

Denji discovering your relationship with makima

This is kind of a sequel to this, like all of the makima posts that I will do

"Is it just me, or does makima seem happier lately"

Aki almost immediately regretted starting a conversation with that question when he heard denji's answer

"I dunno but she's still as hot as always"

"I can't imagine what she would have done to you if she had heard that. What I meant is that she seems... more genuine if that makes sense, like something really good just happened to her. Before, she had this uncanny aura around her, but now she just feels happy."

"I believe I, the great power know the reason why"

"Oh really, why then?"

"I believe makima is in a relationship with someone"

"WHAT?"

After he heard that, denji immediately lunged at power and shook her by the shoulders.

"WITH WHO?"

"I've heard it's with a certain human called y/n l/n"

"Ah yes, I have heard of y/n. Apparently, they joined public safety just a while ago but have managed to climb through the ranks incredibly quickly, even reaching the rank of makima's most trusted subordinate. Some even consider them her right-hand person. I did hear rumors of them being in a relationship, but I never thought they'd be true"

"I'll fucking kill them, I'll slice them in half, no one steals miss makima from me"

Before aki or power could stop him, denji stormed out of the house and went to public safety headquarters, and entered makima's office and found you two......kissing.

"Ah denji, I thought I informed everyone that I was in a very important meeting, may I ask why are you here"

"Sorry, Miss makima i-i just"

"It's fine. I think I know why. Anyway, now that you're here, I should probably introduce you to each other. Y/n,this is denji, a member of Division 4 and the Chainsaw Hybrid. Denji this is y/n, my second in command and...... my lover."

Your heart skipped a bit. That was the first time she had called you her lover in front of another person. Meanwhile, denji could feel his own heart breaking at those words(poor pochita), and he immediately sprinted at you

"So it's true you're the one who stole Miss makima from me"

"I suggest you do not touch them, you might not like what happens if I find a single scratch or bruise on them"

Those intimidating words from makima were enough to make him stop.

"i-i'm sorry miss makima but could I ask why are you in a relationship with them"

"Simple, because I love them. They made me feel happy, and I eventually understood that it was love"

"I-i see sorry if I wasted your time, I'll go now."

Before he could walk out, makima placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, denji, I want to tell you something. Even if I do not love you, I'm sure other girls will. Even with all of your flaws, you're a good person, which... is a lot more than I can say about the me from a couple months ago. What I'm trying to say is.. if someone managed to love and change me, then you absolutely have a chance"

She spoke with a sweet and caring tone devoid of any manipulation or evil. For some reason, she felt the need to comfort him... you had truly changed her.

Denji, after hearing that, immediately broke into a smile, showing his very sharp teeth

"Thank you so much, Miss makima I feel a lot more confident now"

He walked out of the building, leaving you two alone once again, makima walked near the window and looked at the sunset while thinking:she had helped someone feel happy, she had gained nothing from it and yet it felt so much better than when she manipulated people.

"Are you alright makima, you look... emotional"

Your words made it clear to her, Yes, emotional she was happy now, and she was emotional, and she loved this feeling.

"No, it's alright dear. I was wondering if you would like to have a movie date tonight?"

"Of course there's this new, really good movie everyone is talking about"

She turned to you and smiled brightly

"No, I was actually in the mood for a bad movie today. Is it alright?"

[spacesurfing]

❛ would you like to go somewhere a little more private? ❜ with Anakin? (A girl with a big metal hand kink as I have one as well)

-- I love the metal hand as well, it's just so yummy. Thank you for sending in a request!!

•--•

Good Resolutions

Anakin Skywalker x Reader Smut

Summary: You and Anakin never found a way to get along. With your feuds and the war occupying your minds, you were convinced Anakin Skywalker only cared about himself. So maybe you should try as well. And you did.

Warnings: Anakin does make fun of the reader!!, violence, injury, blood, Metal hand kink, Dom!Anakin, brat tamer!Anakin, rough sex, p in v, oral (m receiving), slight humiliation, slight praise kink, inappropriate use of the force, hair pulling, soft ending :)

GIF NOT MINE!!

•--•

You didn't want this war. It had caused pain to everyone; to you, to Obi-Wan, to the clones that knew nothing more than fighting and to the civilians that had to endure it all. You felt horrible for all of the factors in this war. It had caused yourself grief and stress, things that the Jedi were forbid of, but you never understood how the Jedi just saying, "Hey, just don't feel anything and you can stay in our cult of magicians!" would fix any of your emotions from straining against your mind.

And him. Oh him. If you weren't a Jedi, you would've ripped Skywalker's face apart. You hated him, more than you had hated anything. There were only few things you let yourself hate, and one of them was no doubt him. He crawled under your skin, biting at you, irritating you. And the council always thought it was a good idea to bring you two together. In their eyes, the more you had to see him, the more you two "got along" (and the less they had to deal with his bullshit). And through the war process, you hated him even more.

The flirting, oh you couldn't stand the flirting. You didn't dare say anything to the council, you didn't wanna hear about your snitching from him everytime you walked beside him. You'd rather the unnerving silence that was always there till he wanted to brush his gloved hand against your arm, move a piece of loose hair from your face, have the audacity to correct your stances everytime you found yourself in battle. The way he called you 'pretty girl' whenever it was just you and him. You fucking hated everything about him and his stupid, handsome face.

He was really at your throat this whole week though. You'd been sent to Geonosis, another secret imperial base had been made for them to perform their various meetings. It also was supposedly a site for explosives construction on their half. So, you were happy that meant not blowing something to smithereens due to the possibility of very fatal explosives.

As the 501st communicated with your battalion of calm soldiers, you had to stand beside the rat they assigned you to help. You wished that Rex would find a question for you, so you could talk to him instead. You walked in silence with Skywalker, only few of your most skilled men behind you - Commander Tank, Reaper, Mitch, Magma and Cub.

Your men talked to you a lot, they loved jokes and sarcasm, but they didn't like bothering their General, especially when you were next to the man you hated more than anything - in those moments your shoulders were so tense your men thought you were about to punch something. But you honestly wish your men didn't care for your sanity because them being a distraction was better than them being silent and watching your back as Skywalker walked confidently next to you.

"Do you always breathe that loud?" Anakin peeped up, looking over at you. His face was blank but you could tell he was holding in a devilish smirk that you swear to maker you always wanted to slap off of his face.

You looked over at him with pure confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You sound like you're suffocating, is it too long of a walk for you little miss princess?" he asked, purposefully mocking you, just needing to get to your head, to tickle your insecurities.

Your nose scrunched up at his comment, "I've been breathing perfectly fine this whole time, Master Skywalker. Don't you have better things to listen to than my breathing anyways?"

"Well, when you're being incredibly loud, I can't focus on those 'better things'."

You turned away from him, your face hot. Did you really breathe that loud? No, he just wants to get to you. But what if you did really breathe that loud? You felt embarrassed beyond belief. All you wanted to do was fall back and escape to the transport ship that had left what seemed like a millennium ago.

Before you could think too far into it, one of your boys, Mitch, spoke up, "I don't think you breathe that loud, General."

The clone outfitted in white and a forest green fell into step next to you. You smiled widely at him, looking up. It was funny, the clones being taller than yourself - yet they only listened to you. You'd seen other people attempt to boss around your clones, but they had hard heads and they liked to knock them against anyone other than yourself.

Anakin muttered something under his breath, eyes averting away from your figure. You would've asked him what he had said if it weren't for you just simply not caring about his opinion on anything.

Mitch fell back into step with the rest of the men, leaving you in the same atmosphere that you were in before he trailed up on you; in Skywalker's restrained silence. You knew he wanted to say something else, he always wanted to say something about your men being "kiss-ups", just wanted you to give them your full attention.

'If you really want to insult me, don't do it in front of my men,' you spoke through thoughts. You'd think you'd have a force connection with someone you liked, someone that made you cherish their time and attention. The one between you and Anakin was unnecessary and stupid - that's why you never got into verbal arguments. It was almost like texting someone over a holopad, except you could hear their voice almost as if it were in a dark chamber, echoing off the walls of your mind.

He didn't respond, his eyes forward, watching the trail with carefulness that he only faked. He just didn't want to look at you is what the problem was, cause when he did, he would say something nasty. 'Come by my quarters when we get back to Coruscant, then I won't have to say a single word in front of your men.'

For once, you were up to the challenge of talking to him. You always denied his offers, which only sent more teases your way, more glares. The less you interacted with him, the more he mocked you. 'Fine, then I will.'

You watched out of the corner of your eye, a smirk spreading across his face.

It did take long to find something, the hideout that everyone was speaking of. It was small, carved into a peak. "Great, we'll be lucky if we don't find tunnels in this thing."

For once, Anakin let out a small huff of air - a laugh sort of. It was quiet, like he didn't want you, or anyone, to hear that he was laughing at something you said. We easily found the entrance, walked in with muffled footsteps, trying to sneak as quietly as we could try. Tank stood behind you protectively, the rest of your men in line with him. It was the same for Skywalker's battalion - Captain Rex in line with the rest of the 501st. And of course, you never got out of sync while next to Anakin, now closer than you were before in the tight halls.

"I don't like this one bit," Tank said under his breath, looking around while keeping his shoulders tense, ready for whatever there was to come.

"I know Tank but we'll get out of here as soon as possible," you whispered back, keeping your voice low. You were watching cracks trail up into the ceiling, the deep hum of machinery vibrating the atmosphere around you.

Anakin knew too, you felt it, that there was indeed a factory hidden in the cavern you were walking through. You kept your hand close to your hip, though the thought of a fight was very deep in your mind. All you were searching for now was the vibration of voices.

You closed yourself into your own thoughts, listening for noise. For a moment, you could only hear the soft whisper of a joke send over from Reaper to Kix, then you closed out that train. You heard the conveyer belt to the left of you, taking a turn down the next crossroad and simply walking straight. And to the right, you heard the voice of Poggle, speaking in native Geonosian to the other close members of the separatist alliance.

You held up your right hand, stopping your men and Skywalker's men in their tracks. As soon as that happened, you felt a jolt through your mind as he shared the same force channel as you did, listening to a language you never understood. Then you directed him to the left, listening to the sounds of machinery.

"We certainly got lucky this time boys," you claimed, turning around, addressing in a soft voice, "Mitch, I will need you to find a way to shut down the factory when we enter, Kix and Cub with accompany you. Rex and Tank will stay with me and General Skywalker. Hardcase and Jesse, you will stand guard in front of the factory, and the rest of you will take out droids that might be there and find explosive deposits."

The men all nodded, not daring to speak a response and they followed you in the same quiet march that they had kept up that whole time walking in.

"Master Skywalker, you are to take Rex and collect some of the most dangerous explosives when they are found. Tank and I will join you soon after, I would like to continue listening."

Anakin snickered, "They why don't you just take guard and Jesse and Hardcase can actually put the backpacks to use."

You hummed, beckoning Tank to take his backpack off and you dropped both yours and Tank's into Anakin's hands, "As you wish." He looked disappointed. Even though this was your mission, he had bossed you around without getting you upset. What a shame.

•--•

The mission went exactly as planned, which was something that never seemed to happen when you were beside Skywalker on a mission. But today, everything had went exactly as we planned it to go. Well, up until the end. You had hurried your men out and told them to call for a transport as you and Anakin stayed inside, cutting up some of the machinery, the lock on the controls not going to hold up forever. Mitch was good, but not that good.

And, we found a stray droid in the process, wandering into the factory after he must've heard no noise from it. As soon we we rushed at him, he had the last laugh, contacting Poggle to your location on the spot.

You scurried behind Anakin, talking to your men. They reported the transport ship was close, flying down to them now. As soon as you turned the corner to the main entrance though, you felt a sting in your arm. Eager to get out, you tried to not focus on the pain, rushing your men into the ship as you hurried out fast. Reaper threw down one of the explosives, it soon beeping and caving in the entrance.

You smiled in relief. This was the first good mission in a long time, your men keeping Anakin's calm. It was funny, the contrast between how you and Anakin interacted and how his men and your men interacted. Rex pointed that out once. You and Anakin then didn't communicate with each other the rest of the mission.

As you became grounded though, you grasped your arm. It hurt, bad, a searing pain. As you held your fingers up, you saw blood. You tried to hide the injury for the time being, the transport ship making it's way to the command ship and you scurried off as soon as it landed. Or well, tried to.

"Is that... blood, General?" Cub spoke. You winced at his question, turning around to see him standing right there behind you, checking out your wound.

Anakin stepped over, speaking in a commanding voice, "What do you mean blood?"

Cub turned you, showing Anakin the blood forming a circle on the fabric where the wound was under. Anakin grumbled, grabbing your wrist in a way that made you dizzy and dragged you to the infirmary, setting you down on a medical cot and calling over Kix.

The man in blue took off his helmet, setting it down and looking at your arm. "Could you, um, undress for me. If you need a shirt or something we have plenty."

You waved him off, stripping yourself of your long sleeved top and your robes. You had a tight breastband on, not revealing anything in particular but your arms and your stomach. You knew that the men were mature, not taking a wounded woman soldier as some sort of sex worker when she was to be almost half naked to receive medical attention. All the men were very respectful - too good to deserve the lives they had to live.

You waited for Anakin to leave, but as Kix tended to your wound, rubbing some bacta ointment on it and wrapping it up with bandages, Anakin continued to glare at you. You felt his eyes burning right through your head as he waited for Kix to finish.

"Are there any other wounded?" the medic asked when turning to Anakin. Anakin shook his head and Kix simply nodded, saying a goodbye to Anakin and walking back to the hangar bay to connect back with his group.

You downcast your eyes, a frown tugging at your lips as you avoided looking at his figure, broad and hovering over you like a building. You knew that if he was still standing there, arms crossed tight against his chest, he wanted to say something.

When the metal of the door shut with a mechanical noise, and Anakin burst into flames.

"You were injured, and you did tell me?!" he asked, raising his voice as he stared you down. You couldn't avoid his eyes now, looking back at his face you saw the fury in his expression, his eyebrows scrunched, his face in pure anguish.

You inhaled, looking away frantically, then back at him, "Why are you asking me like you've ever cared? When have you ever gave a shit about me?"

"Are you saying you don't believe I care?"

You scrunched your nose up in a way that flipped Anakin's heart, watching as you turned from this closed book into this flaming ball of emotion. "Why should I believe in any universe that you would care about me? You mock me in front of my men, criticize me constantly and overall, you're a huge dick."

Anakin was quick to unfold his arms and cage you into the medical bed, his hair falling in his face as he stared you down. Maker he was big. You had thought he was tall of course but as he really hunched over you, got in your face, he was intimidating to say the least.

"I have always cared about you, do you understand? I worry every moment you are on the field. You do not tell me I don't care about you, I would travel to the end of the galaxy to find you."

You huffed, not letting his fake front manipulate you. It wasn't fake, everything had come out of Anakin's mouth aggressive, yet true. He cared deeply, he thought of you constantly. He was always in a bad mood cause he couldn't have you. He acted like a playground bully because he was convinced it would protect you from his feelings. But fate always prevailed.

"Get out of my face."

Anakin tilted his head and in a mocking manner, spoke, "And what if I don't? You gonna call Mitch? Is he gonna kiss your ass like he always does?"

"You don't talk about Mitch like that, you slimeball," you growled, pushing at Anakin's shoulders. He stumbled a little, but not enough to move his arms from keeping you sitting on the cot.

"Then tell me. What. Are. You. Going. To. Do. About. It?"

As a Jedi, you knew you couldn't use aggression against him. The tones you two were using already was bad enough, biting at each other's necks like stray dogs, but you weren't gonna hit him.

Anakin's blue eyes pierced your soul, they were clouded, his face so close to you that butterflies roamed in your stomach and his lips were plump, curled into a snarl. But soon, a smug smirk played on his lips, "Nothing, you're too much of a good girl. You wouldn't do anything but sit there all pretty, waiting for one of your boys to pick you off your feet and pamper you."

"They don't pamper me, they protect me, something you just seem incapable of."

A rope snapped in Anakin. He couldn't take it anymore, pretending he didn't want you, trying to tell you he cared without actually saying it. Maker, he wanted to be the one to pamper you and protect you. He'd spend countless nights imagining you curled up in his lap, talking the day away, telling him about your latest mission, talking to him in that soft voice you always addressed Ahsoka in.

He knew there was nothing that would make you hate him more, so he move his hand up your arm and pressed his lips to yours. For the anger emitting from Anakin, his lips laid on yours tenderly. He wanted to be mean, he wanted to leave small bruises on your neck and thighs, he wanted to be rough with you, but he couldn't just ruin the first kiss out of a temper tantrum.

When you didn't kiss him back, he pulled away, looking at you with the same expression he had before, but his mouth was relaxed and his eyes had a soft look to them.

You didn't know how to respond. The kiss had made your heart throb, made your eyelids droop as if they wanted to close forever. Your lips felt hot, so did your face. And as if Anakin was water in a dessert, you lurched forward, catching his lips with your own in a desperate kiss. You grabbed at his shoulders, your lips moving against his as he snatched your waist with both hands.

Everything about this encounter made your ears hot, your face was on fire, your body felt like it was made of lava. Anakin tasted so sweet, something you would have never expected. You heard a loud laughter through the durasteel walls of the ship, pulling away from Anakin and pushing lightly on his chest.

"Anakin, there are people-"

"Would you like to go somewhere a little more private?" he asked, his metal hand massaging your waist as he pressed light breathy kisses over your lips. This is the most vulnerable he had ever seen you and maker did he want to make this last forever. But he was still so upset at you, for hiding from him, from keeping the injury to yourself.

You nodded, and Anakin simply whisked you away by your arm, puling you through a side door in the infirmary, leading to a private meditation room, one where no Jedi was to be disturbed if not for their commlink going off. There were only two on each command ship and they were used often, the cheap soundproofing keeping out most of the loud talking and resulting in a hum that most Jedi could be okay with. They were convenient, down a hall that most weren't even permitted to be down anyways, the door with a solid lock on it.

It felt wrong, allowing such feelings and bringing them especially into a Jedi-oriented place. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was forbidden, but Anakin refused to bat and eye at anything being necessarily wrong. This was only a show of passion right? You had to have passion as a Jedi, attachments were forbidden, but didn't you have an attachment to the Jedi order as a whole? It was something you always kept with you, something you could never defy, something that ran your whole life, it was a commitment. So, an attachment?

Your head ran dry of thoughts as he promptly locked the door. Immediately his lips latched themselves onto yours, hands holding your hips close to him as the top of your back pressed against the wall. His hair tickled your forehead, your hands reaching to hold the sides of his face, feeling the fluff of it tangle between your finger tips.

You could already feel him, hard against your thigh, pulling away for a moment to breathe before kissing you again. It was hot, his lips smothering you, heavy exhales between kissing him like our lives would end.

He squeezed your hip tight, making you gasp before sliding his tongue into your mouth. You felt yourself growing wet by the second. Maker, you hated this man more than anything, but the way he touched you and kissed you, the way his face felt under your hands, you never wanted to be away from him.

There was a counter in the corner of the room with a tea machine next to it. He didn't hesitate to move his hands down to your ass, giving it a squeeze and muttering an "Up" before carrying you over to it, mouth still locked onto yours as he dropped you on the counter. You were perfectly level with him in that moment, his tongue sliding against yours. You ached for him and his touch, you wanted to feel him everywhere. He pulled down your pants and boots, leaving them in a pool of clothing next to one of the meditation cushions. You felt absolutely bare, nothing but your breastband and panties on.

Anakin rested his forehead against yours, sharing the same air with you, staring at your curves and the way your panties clung to you. You looked so delicate to him, in a way where he didn't even want to touch you.

"You're so pretty," he groaned, gripping the side of your thighs, "I wanna fuck you, will you let me do that angel?"

You grinded yourself against his bulge, needy for something, anything from him, "Please Anakin, I-I need you."

He knelt down before you, dark blue crystals staring up into your own eyes, prompting you to watch him. He nipped a piece of the fabric, pulling them down your legs as his hands held you off of the surface. You felt like you were gonna start drooling over him, he was delicious to look at, something you always ignored. But you couldn't now, the eye-candy almost in shining light, the only single thing you could focus on.

And you didn't focus on anything else. Which is why you moaned in surprise when you felt cold against your clit. His glove must've been somewhere on his lap, but that didn't matter because his metal thumb rubbed circles against your clit. The contrast felt so good, and you couldn't help but become a whimpering mess.

He prodded a finger at your hole, "Do you like it when I touch you with my metal hand? You know, I did think you were weird, but I never suspected you were this weird."

You were about to make up a comeback, but when he slipped his finger into you, your thoughts were muddled. Your teeth latched onto your bottom lip and you unintentionally grinded against his hand.

"Ani..." you moaned, one of your hands gripping the end of the counter while the other moved to tangle itself into his hair.

He tilted his head, bringing his finger out from you, eliciting a noise from your throat. He popped his finger into his mouth and you could've sworn you could cum just to that sight alone.

"So sweet. I could just eat you up," he said, smirking as he slipped his finger back in, licking through your folds.

You died in that moment, adding a second finger, his lips circled your clit, sucking lightly. You moaned at his action, watching him. It was almost euphoric, the eye contact you two kept. You tugged lightly at his hair as he licked up your juices. He groaned, vibrating your nerves and making you moan his name.

He open-mouth kissed your pussy. "Keep making those nosies, y'sound so good," he muttered, attacking your clit with his tongue and lips, moving his fingers as he began to take them out before shoving them knuckle deep again.

You felt like he was pulling your soul out of you body, hand tugging his hair more often than not, but he loved it, groaning or growling before fucking his fingers into you harder. His fingertips caressed a spot in you which turned your eyes heavy and made you feel weak. He knew you were close, your stomach and walls were tight, your moans turned into whimpers and sighs, and you grinded against his face like a loth-cat in heat.

Anakin's last move was one you never expected and never would have in a million years. He pressed his metal fingers against the one spot inside of you, removing his mouth from your pussy. But, as soon as you thought he was just gonna teasingly edge you, you felt a tingling sensation at your clit. Was that-

"Cum for me, pretty thing, wanna see you cum on my metal hand. I know you wanna," he said, licking at you once more before you saw white, pulling him by his dirty blonde locks, his face so close to your womanhood you only saw his curious eyes as you came on his lips.

Anakin removed his fingers licking at them and cleaning off his lips. Lust was plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms around your thighs, the bend of your knees resting on his shoulders as he cleaned up the rest of your juices with his tongue.

"Sweetest thing in this galaxy, fuck," he muttered, closing his eyes for a second before pulling away from you, untangling your limbs from his own and pulling you off the counter. Anakin turned you around, shoving your chest against the counter. The cold surface made your nipples hard.

"Do you want this?" he asked.

"Yes, please Anakin, I need you," you whined. Okay, he had you tied around his finger now and he fucking knew it.

He hardly even took off his clothes, pulling out his length. You wish you could've seen it, knew what you were getting into before you took him straight. You had heard rumors from ladies at his favorite bar about how big he was. Sometimes you and Obi-Wan would go, equaling the time spent between you and Anakin, only for you to get mad from the mention of his name. But you never expected it to be that big. When you felt the head push against your entrance, you only slumped down and moaned.

Maker he was big, and you could feel him throbbing against your tight walls as he added more inches into you. It felt like he was in your stomach by the time he stopped, pelvis against your ass.

Grabbing your hair, he pulled you head up. You whimpered, attempting to grasp at something around your area, finding nothing and resulting to splaying your hands on the counter.

"You're so fucking tight, pretty thing. I'm surprised that it only took me kissing you to get you all shy. Always seemed like a brat to me," he whispered in your ear, slowly grinding his hips into you. You felt like puddy in his hands, taking everything he gave you, begging for him, letting him use you.

When you spoke, your words came out hoarse, "Shu- Shut up, nngh-"

As soon as the words came out, his hips pulled out before slamming down on your own. He kept you hair bundled up on his hands, keeping your head up.

"Don't back talk me, I'll fucking ruin you," he growled, "Tell me you're mine, tell me how much you love my cock in your pretty little pussy."

As he continued the teasing motion of grinding himself into you, you couldn't help it. " 'm all yours Ani, love how big your cock is, need you to fuck me so bad."

He laughed, straitening himself before taking your hands and keeping them together, pressing them down onto your back as he thrust into you shallowly. His movements made you squirm, pushing back against him.

"So needy," he groaned, smacking your ass, "Beg for it, angel."

"Please Ani, please. I need more, need you deeper Anakin."

It didn't seem to take much of any convincing before he started fucking you deep, rough thrusts that had your eyes going to the back of your head. You were completely useless, being used as a fuck toy for him. You grabbed the wrist that kept your arms pinned against your back, the only thing keeping you grounded to reality.

Anakin was in bliss, feeling your walls lightly spasm everytime he brushed your g-stop, hearing you moan his name like it was a prayer to some god. He might as well have been to you in that moment, he wanted to give you everything, watch you whimper for him. He wished this could've been softer, sweeter, but he wasn't gonna start sex over an argument and not blow off the months of steam you had caused him.

"You're never gonna lie to me again, right angel?" Anakin asked, pulling you up against by your hair.

"Y'never asked, I wasn't lying 'bout something you never asked," you managed, but you soon came to realize that he did not like that answer.

If you had thought Anakin was fucking you within an inch of your life by that time, maker was he pounding into you harder. You all but moaned louder than you've ever even talked and prayed nobody from the outside heard. Anakin had no room for talking anymore, angling his hips up and taking you so hard that you couldn't even focus on breathing correctly.

You weren't gonna last that long, not when he was pounding into your g-spot, fucking you like a ragdoll. You felt your core clench around him, stomach tightening. All you could make were whines of 'Anakin' and 'please'. And when you finally let go, you felt your soul leave your body.

"Good girl, cum around my cock, just like that," he whispered, voice all breath and rasp, feeling you release around him. He pulled out soon after, spilling his seed all over your lower back.

You stayed down, recovering from what you'd feel for days after this. His scooped up some of his cum with his index and middle finger, "Open up."

You took his two fingers into your mouth, sucking eagerly. It tasted tangy, but you didn't mind, better than him being rude and using your clothes to clean it up.

After making sure you were "clean", he simply fixed himself up, which hardly took long as he didn't really undress, put his glove back on and dressed you up. You didn't need his help, trying to push at his shoulders to let you take care of yourself, but he only shoved you back.

"Let me help you, please," he said, pressing a kiss to your hands before fixing your clothes while you gave into the attention.

He pulled you to your feet, looking down at you. Maker you were the most beautiful mess he'd ever seen. A small spot of drool patched the crease of your lips, your hair was a tangled mess, and your eyes were half-lidded. You must've been exhausted.

He only laughed, kissing your forehead sweetly, "How about we go back to the infirmary, get you a shirt and then we'll clean you up, okay?"

You nodded, holding onto his gloved hand and following him. What were you two even arguing about?

•--•

[ot9snumber1]

craving

son chaeyoung x reader

summary: you never understood why chaeyoung refused to show you her sketches until you find her sketchbook on your desk. warnings: smut, thigh riding, fingering, degradation, perv!chaeng notes: let's pretend this hasn't been in my drafts for months... dedicated to my favorite @nr1chaedickrider <3

———

"wait for me, chaengie! i just need to grab my keys!" you yell at chaeyoung, who was already halfway through the front door by the time you dash back to your shared room.

a loud groan can be heard, and you only chuckle at the response. you nearly burst into the room, but you don't rush to find your keys.

you think to yourself, why the hell did i take them up here when there's a place for it downstairs...? but there's no time to have thoughts when your roommate is already yelling at you to hurry.

"y/n! come on!" you hear, imagining chaeyoung's pout accompanying her whiny voice. "you promised me we'd be early tonight!"

you scoff, poking around a little bit faster around your desk. your eyes eventually land on the keys, and you whisper a little hell yeah! as you pick them up.

you're about to go back down, until you see the sketchbook your keys were previously on top of. it was chaeyoung's, for sure. you were aware that she's an artist, but you never really get to see her art.

chaeyoung didn't like showing her art. to you.

her friends have talked about her art a lot, even showcasing different shirts and knickknacks that chaeyoung had designed for them. it always made you feel a bit jealous, why is chaeyoung so protective of her art around you?

it was wrong to look at someone else's sketchbook without permission... but you've been chaeyoung's roommate for two years and been her friend for even longer, you feel like you deserve even a glimpse into her artistic mind.

you flip through the pages carefully and your jaw drops. her art is beautiful! why had she been gatekeeping it this whole time? the whole world deserved to—

oh!

you're being dramatic. drawing naked figures are completely normal! chaeyoung's just studying anatomy for sure. sometimes studying the human body requires putting them in provocative positions, of course.

...

she really likes anatomy, huh? you don't even know how she comes up with the positions the figures are in, you haven't seen her bring a girl home in forever! you chuckle at your own thoughts to ease nonexistent tension.

...

okay, maybe it's a little weird how the drawings are starting to look a bit too familiar. you try to convince yourself it's just chaeyoung improving as time goes on, but your eyes can't help but notice that you and the figures are starting to share the same hairstyle, same body type, eye color, facial features, even down to the body hair?

you also can't ignore the elephant in the room. those hands. there are two pairs of hands accompanying each figure, always groping their tits or fingering them or choking them or—

was chaeyoung really drawing you?

you decide to just forget about it. maybe you were seeing things? still, you felt weird about it, and maybe a bit turned on by the fact your roommate had a very vivid imagination.

you close the sketchbook with a long sigh, turning to leave but freezing when you see chaeyoung in the doorway. she looks just as surprised as you, color drained from her face.

the two of you just stare at each other.

"did.. did you get the keys?"

"were those drawings of me?"

you ask at the same time, and chaeyoung feels lightheaded. you were never meant to see that sketchbook! she doesn't even know when she left it on your desk.

neither of you speak for a moment. you were waiting for her response, not letting her get away from this scot-free.

chaeyoung wanted to lie, to forget about this and move on. but where was the fun in that? it's not like you slapped her in the face for obviously drawing you being fucked over and over again.

"so what if they were?" chaeyoung says confidently, crossing her arms. "why, you liked them?"

you pause, taking your time to actually think about what you felt. it was definitely weird and maybe creepy that she was drawing you naked. on the other hand, it meant she'd been thinking about putting you in those positions.

you must have been taking too long to think, because chaeyoung takes your blush as a sign and traps you against your desk. she leans in close to whisper, "you wouldn't mind skipping the movie and staying home to help me draw, right?"

you felt unsure, so you just shook your head. chaeyoung frowns, "aw, come on. i'm sure momo and jihyo wouldn't mind watching without us."

"plus, we were going to be late anyway."

"i thought you wanted to impress jihyo?"

you both stare at each other again. chaeyoung's eyes were dark, it made you uneasy and horny at the same time. "i've got more important things to be doing than impressing her now."

you raise an eyebrow. "me?"

chaeyoung blushes, her 'cool' act dropping immediately. "...yeah." she nods shyly. you chuckle, she was being incredibly adorable—but it wasn't what you wanted from her.

"only if you recreate what i saw." you whisper, bravely putting your finger under her chin to make her face you. chaeyoung's smile grows, the lustful glint in her eyes returning.

"i can do that."

—

you're gagging on two of chaeyoung's fingers as she presses her clothed thigh against your bare pussy. "you look so pretty, all slutty for me." chaeyoung chuckles when she sees your arms jerk as your wrists strained against the cloth she tied behind your back. "you'll tire yourself if you keep doing that." she hums, making you huff.

you desperately wanted to tug at her hair, leave scratches on her back, anything—but she decided that you were being a brat prevented you from doing so. if you weren't desperate for your release, you would've protested her decision entirely.

the way she bit her lip as she looked you up and down got you even more wet—you were sure her jeans were ruined by now. your movements grew erratic, nearly putting chaeyoung in a trance.

"god, you're such a whore. you don't even care that i've been drawing you while you slept." she snickers, removing her fingers from your mouth. all you could reply with was a moan.

maybe you should care. but does it matter when she replaces her thigh with the fingers you were choking on seconds ago? not really.

the ring on her finger brushing against your folds made you wince. the cool metal feeling so delicious against your wet heat. "fuck—fuck, don't stop." you beg, making chaeyoung chuckle.

"so needy." she mumbles, her fingers working in and out of you at a quick pace. the sharp gasp you let out when she pinches your nipple combined with the lewd sounds of your cunt made her own underwear damp.

"and so cute." chaeyoung adds, pulling your shirt all the way up and making you bite down on it to keep it there. "you like it, don't you? the fact i've been spying on you?"

you nod, almost looking pathetic in your roommate's eyes. chaeyoung's grin grows as she curls her fingers in you and makes you scream. "don't worry, baby. i won't stop anytime soon."

the way your thighs closed around her wrist as you came all over her hand gave her the biggest smile. "what a good girl." she coos, kissing you as she helped you come down from your high.

you ended up calling jihyo to tell her you couldn't make it. the reason she heard was that chaeyoung got sick suddenly.

sick with lust, maybe. the way chaeyoung had you bent over your desk confirmed that neither of you would be stepping foot outside of this room for a long while.

[bomberqueen17]

*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

[berryhobii]

Hiiiii i just absolutely love your work and your representation for us black fans/readers thank u sm!!! im also extremely obsessed with Late for Work couple but this could go for any of the couples. im not sure if youre still taking requests (if not im so sorry not trying to be pushy kdjsks) but i wanted to know how would you think reader x Jungkook handle being an interracial couple in korea?! esp w her being a black woman? like reader feels a moment of insecurity or something and JK feels angry that someone made her feel that way and just loves her and makes her feel better? pure fluff or smut, ik you'd capture it perfectly 🥺💞 love you keep up the amazing work and take it easy!!!! xoxoxoxxxxx 💜💜💜

Hi! Thanks so much for your request! It really inspired me because I definitely understand being in an interracial relationship and the prejudice and problems we as black people face when he decide to date outside of our race. To my black people, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. We have always been beautiful. People who hate on us fear our beauty because they know they could never replicate us or do what we do. Again, thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy! I made it a angsty but with fluff and just a tiny little piece of smut at the end. I also set this with the LFW Couple during their engagement phase🩵🩵🩵

~

Being a black woman, you’ve faced a lot of hate and turmoil. Some from your own community, some from others and even some self deprecation from yourself.

Regardless, you had amazing parents and friends who always assured you that your skin was beautiful and that you were beautiful. You were a black woman—the blueprint, the most elegant and graceful, the most envied.

You should be proud and you were.

Despite having so much overflowing confidence, there were moments where you could feel that little monster called insecurity crawling up your spine.

The most recent moment you could remember was a few months after you got engaged to your now wonderful husband, Jungkook.

He had taken charge of a lot of the wedding planning, saying he had a lot of good ideas and since he spent a lot of time at home anyway, he’d do most of the searching and calling. Of course, you’d come home and give some of your ideas as well.

“It’s your day, baby. I want you to have everything you want.”

Your heart and tummy soared with butterflies at hearing that. He really treated you like a princess. It was both of your wedding but Jungkook wanted you to have the wedding of your dreams. He didn’t care if you wanted him to wear pajamas or dye his hair orange, he’d do it if it meant you’d be happy.

With wedding preparations came things like makeup consultations and hair trials. As a black woman in Korea, there wasn’t a lot of options for makeup that fit your skin or people who understood your natural hair so you knew you’d probably be relying on yourself a lot for the time being. Good thing you knew how to do your own makeup and hair but doing it yourself kind of took away the magic and experience of wedding planning.

Thankfully, with some hard searching, you found a salon with a black employee. You could have cried tears of joy, seeing as her skin complexion was close to yours and that she had experience with wedding makeup.

Her name was Jazz and she was actually born in South Korea. The salon she worked at was owned by a close friend of her parents and she’s been working there for a few years.

“So, tell me about your fiancé. Is he handsome?” She asked you in English as she detangled your hair. Your Korean was pretty good but you sometimes preferred English.

You smiled just thinking about him, pulling up a photo of him on your phone. It was a selfie you two took after getting engaged—your left hand raised to show off your ring and him cheesing hard at the camera.

Jazz made an ‘oooo’ sound, looking a little closer at him. “He is very handsome. How’d you bag someone like that?”

With candy crush, you thought.

“Yeah. He’s amazing. He’s so kind and sweet too. I can’t imagine life without him.” You chattered dreamily. Your life had barely started with Jungkook but you wanted to live the rest of it with him. You wanted to laugh with him, to scold him for staying up too late, to argue with him and then make up later, to experience every joyous moment with him.

You only wanted him. For the rest of your life.

Jungkook came to pick you up after your appointment, waltzing into the shop like he owned it. You bit your lip at the sight of him—he’s being growing his hair out, claiming he wanted to see how it would look before the wedding. He asked how you’d like it and you insisted you’d love his hair any kind of way but you were secretly wishing he’d grow it out and wear a ponytail. Fingers crossed!

When you started spending more time together, you noticed how many hours he spent in the gym. You’d FaceTime him sometimes and he’d often be boxing or lifting weights, sweat dripping down his neck and muscles bulging. And yes, the first time you two had sex was after one of those calls. You had given yourself a 90 day time restraint, just to make sure he was pursuing you for more than just sex. 89 days was pretty close though so you considered it a win!

He scrunched his nose in a cute smile when he saw you, long legs carrying him over to where you were getting some final touchups by Jazz. She noticed him approaching, jaw dropping at your fiancé.

She leaned down to whisper scream in your ear, “girl he is fine as hell!”

You chuckled. “I know.” Standing to your feet, you greeted your sexy fiancé. “Hi baby.” You greeted in Korean.

Once he was close enough, he pulled you into a hug, inhaling the scent of your clean hair and all the products Jazz used. He pulled away to get a good look at you.

“You look beautiful baby.” He complimented and you smiled even wider, feeling all giddy under the praise. “Do you think this is the hairstyle you want for the wedding?”

“I like it but I don’t know. I’m gonna come back.”

“Please do!” Jazz chimed from behind you, making both of you laugh.

“Jungkook, this is Jazz.” You introduced. He smiled politely at her, reaching out a hand for her to shake.

“Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasures mine. I have so many ideas for the wedding and I just know your fiancé will look amazing in anything.” She gushed.

You felt Jungkook’s hand squeeze at your waist, looking down at you with soft eyes that made your heart flutter.

“I know she will too.”

You wanted to plant a smooch right on those lips, squeeze him tightly and never let him go.

Jazz’s grin was wider than the damn Joker. Ah, she loved love.

Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly as he remembered something, turning to Jazz, he inquired, “hey, do you guys dye hair here? I’m thinking of going purple.” He followed an excited Jazz over to the wall where they kept hair dye samples.

You smiled endearingly at both of them. They both gave off golden retriever energy. You hoped they’d be friends.

While they did that, you went back to the waiting area. You had seen a wedding magazine that you wanted to show Jungkook.

There were 2 older Korean lady’s sitting there, chatting to each other and reading magazines as well. They looked up when you entered, giving you looks that you’ve grown used to living here. It wasn’t really disgust or anything, it was more like a “what are you going here” kind of look.

You smiled at them, bowing your head a little in respect before shifting through the magazines for the one you were looking for. You found it, flipping through the pages to search for the centerpieces you saw.

“She’s marrying him? How distasteful.” You heard one of them say. You paused for a second. Were they talking about you? No, right? They were already having a conversation before you walked up. They were probably talking about someone else.

Just mind your business, you thought.

“It’s bad enough one of them is working here. I don’t want her touching my hair but Sunhee insists she knows what she’s doing. I don’t believe it. They can barely take care of their own hair. Just look at it.”

There was no way you could doubt that. They were definitely talking about Jazz. She had hair that appeared shorter, compliments of shrinkage. She showed you a photo of her hair straight and it was very close to her butt. You knew of the negative implications behind natural hair, especially when it came to shrinkage and the stereotypes surrounding it. You wished people understood more about black hair but ignorance had no bounds.

“I’d never let my son marry one of her kind. Look at her. She looks dirty. Just imagine their children. Ugh.”

Dirty? You weren’t dirty. And what was one of your kind? They were talking about you like you were less than human. You’ve experienced a lot over the years living here in South Korea—fetishization, discrimination, even people randomly touching you but you’ve never had anyone be that bold to speak about you right in front of you. They must have heard you speaking English with Jazz and assumed you didn’t understand them. Or they could very much well know you spoke Korean and just didn’t care.

You didn’t even realize Jungkook approaching you, startling a little at his hand on your back.

“You alright, baby?”

You managed a convincing smile. You didn’t want to cause a scene or anything. Jungkook was very overprotective of you. He didn’t tolerate disrespect and your comfort and safety was his number one priority. He was quick to remove you from any situations that he thought you’d be unsafe in and he was even quicker in shutting someone down who tried to embarrass or disrespect you.

You trusted him with your whole heart so why was it so hard to tell him? You took one look in those doe like eyes and you never wanted to see them harden in anger or get misty with tears.

So you smiled and reassured him. “I’m fine. I wanted to show you these centerpieces. Aren’t they nice?”

“They’re wonderful. I really like that arrangement. Let me take a picture of it.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick photo. “Ready to go? Taehyung and Namjoon invited us out to dinner.”

“Yup. All ready. Let me just say bye to Jazz.”

He nodded and let you go. Your smile dropped when you turned around, speed walking over to Jazz who was cleaning her station.

She noticed you walking up. “Oh, your fiancé already paid for you. He also made an appointment to dye his hair purple. Can you believe it? I personally think red would suit him better but-“

You cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug. You know you just met her so this was probably strange but you just needed her to know something.

She did think this was the tiniest bit weird but she still reciprocated your hug. You were a really nice person and she loved knowing of another black woman living in the same area.

“You okay?” She asked.

You pulled away and smiled at her. “I’m wonderful. And you’re beautiful.”

Her expression softened. “Thank you. So are you.”

“Here, take my number. I’d love it if you could come to my wedding.”

~

The entire car ride home, you were quiet. You had turned on the music to avoid any conversation. You knew if Jungkook started questioning you about what happened at the salon, you’d break and tell him about those women. You also knew it was stupid of you to hold it in but you just couldn’t tell him. You’d just forget and move on.

Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

When you got home, Jungkook went to take a phone call and you went to the bedroom to stare at yourself in the mirror.

You loved your hair. You loved yourself. You loved your skin. Those women were just ignorant. You shouldn’t let them get to you.

But you couldn’t stop thinking of what they said about you and Jungkook.

“I’d never let my son marry one of her kind.”

Did Jungkook’s parents think that of you? They were very kind to you and never made you feel not welcomed. You spoke to his mother all the time about the wedding. She’s even taught you how to cook Jungkook’s favorite meals. His father was a bit more stern but still a very kind man.

And what about Jungkook? Did he have an issue with you being black? You don’t think he would have dated or proposed to you if he didn’t, right? You never assumed he had an issue with your race just like you didn’t have a problem with his. Of course, you acknowledged he was Korean and you did your best to respect him and his culture. He was always so open, assuring that you could ask him anything and you did the same.

He admitted you were the first non Korean woman he’s ever dated and he didn’t want to do anything to offend you. Like he assured you, you told him that you weren’t much different from others. You still expected him to treat you well in this relationship and vice versa. Your differences in your races and culture didn’t really change very much.

So moments like these really made you wonder if you were too different.

“Baby, we have a few hours before dinner. Did you want to play It Takes Two with me?” Jungkook asked as he entered the bedroom. He noticed how you were staring at yourself but not in the normal admiring way you often did.

This time, your face looked somber. Was something bothering you?

“Baby? Are you okay?”

You looked at him through the mirror.

You couldn’t keep it from him any longer.

Sighing, you turned to face him. He had moved closer to you so now he was just inches away.

For some reason, you couldn’t lift your eyes to meet his. Shame burned at you.

Jungkook pouted his lip and tilted his head, reaching out a hand to cup your cheek and raise your head. Your eyes met and suddenly that dam broke.

He could see how your eyes began to tear up and he panicked. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He racked his brain for anything he could have done to upset you but nothing was really coming to mind. Was this one of those times you wanted him to pick up on hints? He could be a little dense sometimes which you thought was cute. You were good at communicating which helped both of you avoid any unnecessary problems.

So what was wrong?

“Jungkook…..do you….have a problem with me being black?”

Wow. Not what he was expecting. Then again, he didn’t really know what to expect. You hardly cried so he hasn’t gotten very good at determining your types of crying.

He was baffled by your question. “What? What are you talking about?”

You sighed again. “Well, I overheard these women talking at the salon. They were talking about me and Jazz. They called me dirty and said that they’d never let their sons marry one of my kind….” You inhaled a shaky breath, looking away from his eyes. If you looked any longer, the tears would fall.

Jungkook felt two emotions well up in him. The first was pure rage because how dare someone speak about you like that? He wished he had heard it because he would have given those women a piece of his mind. Respecting your elders was an important part of his culture but he didn’t give a damn about that when someone was disrespecting you.

The second emotion was sympathy because he hated seeing you doubt yourself. You were such a wonderful person, surefooted and with an unflappable spirit. You let comments roll off your back like water, only looking ahead and never letting people taint your energy. He knew you used to struggle sometimes with self love, especially trudging through the world as a black woman but he never saw it get to you and he admired that about you.

So to see you ready to cry over this made his heart ache for you.

“Sweetheart, look at me.”

You blinked your tears away, slowly shifting your gaze to stare back at him. A gentle smile was on his face, one you only ever saw during moments like this—those moments where he could fully open his heart up to you.

“Do you really think I would have even pursued you if I had a problem with that?”

You shrugged your shoulder. “I don’t know….” You mumbled, averting your gaze again but he moved his head a little to make you look at him again.

“I think you’re the most stunning person I’ve ever laid eyes on. When I first saw you, all I could think was how could such a gorgeous person exist? Naturally, I noticed your skin but only because it was glowing. You were brighter than anyone in that restaurant.”

You choked out a watery laugh. You remember that day. It was one of those days where you felt particularly hot. You weren’t expecting to meet someone but there was Jungkook, a little awkward but so charming. He caught your attention immediately. No one knew but receiving those flowers from him solidified your attraction to him and a part of you knew you’d be together in the long haul.

“I don’t care about you being black.” Then he realized what he said and backtracked a little. “Well, of course I care but you know, I don’t and….wait let me start over.” He stumbled, making you laugh again. That boyish awkwardness always managed to rear its head but it only made you fall for him even harder.

“I get what you mean.”

He sheepishly grinned before continuing, “I care about it because I care about you but I also don’t care because that’s not all you are. You’re sensible and bright and clever and so self assured. Not to mention, your ass is absolutely amazing and I want it tattooed on my forehead.”

You snorted a laugh, playfully smacking him on the chest. He was so silly but he knew if it was possible, he’d do it. He was that obsessed with you and everything about you.

“You’re ridiculous.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, sparkling eyes blinking up at him.

“And your laugh is goofy and you’re bad at reading directions for furniture and you put your freezing cold feet on me at night which drives me insane.” He huffed.

“Socks are uncomfortable.” You defended.

“But…” He leaned down to brush his lips over yours. “I love all of that about you. I’ve never once doubted that. I love you, all of you.”

The tears finally fell but they weren’t because of your insecurity, not anymore. They were because you adored this man in front of you and you felt so unbelievably lucky to have him in your life.

“I love you too.”

Your lips met in a kiss that reminded you that he was what you needed. He was the only person you wanted.

And as you made love that night, sweet whispers of his love warming your skin, all of those previous anxieties had completely dispersed from your mind. His cock stretched you open, your arms holding him tightly and his hands grounding you to this reality. His lips blazed hot kisses across any skin he could reach, hips pushing slow and deep inside of you and bringing you closer to euphoria.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, gripping your thighs that were wrapped around his waist and keeping him close.

“Jungkook….” You breathily uttered his name, not knowing what else to say but he didn’t need you to. He could feel all of your emotion through his name and he wanted to hear more of it.

“I got you, baby. Always.”

That little monster was locked back in its cage for now. You couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t break free again but you knew Jungkook would be there to help you through everything.

Everytime.

[linphd]

They develop a crush on you | Headcanons

gender neutral

-> They didn’t plan on falling for some 1A student. Had to borrow a bit of my oc’s quirk for Shishida.

-> Shihai Kuroiri, Jurota Shishida, Juzo Honenuki.

Shihai Kuroiri

He had seen you before, and he had just noticed that you were good-looking… but many people in this school were, after all. So, it came as a surprise to him when he realized you had a bubbly personality during the Joint Training.

« Hey, Shihai, right ?! » you said, as both teams were walking towards the right spot. « Yeah, what ? » he asked, arching an eyebrow. « I heard your quirk kinda is like Tokoyami’s, that’s cool ! Mine isn’t that impressive. » you started. He scoffed, but seemed to be smiling a bit. « Yeah, I bet mine’s way better. »

That said, he understood why you had been recommended during the training. Nice quirk, rather clever despite how bubbly you seemed to be, and actually really nice and not judgemental for someone in 1A. Guess he only had an image of early Shoto or Bakugou in mind ?

As you seemed interesting to him, he walked to you after your fight was over. « So. I noticed you gasping when I arose from the shadows. » he stated, a bit grinning. You started giggling. Like a lot. « How Aoyama screamed ! It was so funny ! Your quirk is so practical ! » and you just couldn’t stop laughing at this point.

That’s when he realize he stared at you. And Kinoko got on his mind. He had a crush on her, right ? But couldn’t he have a crush in the other class ? Wasn’t it why high school was made for ? Have some silly little crushes ? Anyways, he was now eager to see more of 1A, if it meant he could see you.

Jurota Shishida

You never really noticed Shishida before. Seemed to have been invisible during the Sports Festival, and because of how extravagant Monoma is, you never really noticed anyone else in 1B whenever they were around.

That’s why you didn’t really expect him to shine that much during the Joint Training. His quirk was cool and purely physical strength, but his beast capacities were really impressive. Though you wouldn’t say it out loud.

On the other hand, he had noticed you. One of 1A’s big personalities. Sure, you weren’t like Bakugou, but your confidence was really overshadowing some of your classmates’. And you were good-looking. With a nice quirk. And you ended up 3rd at the sports festival.

It’s after his fight that you went to him, eager to learn more about his quirk. « Hey, Shishida ! If you can smell where everyone is, how can you do it if my tentacles go everywhere, hm ? » He started to think but you weren’t done. « Cause you thought there were three Tsuyus, right ? »

You continued. « I could beat you if we fought. » He looked at you. « Well… I’m twice your size. » you snorted. « Well, I might be twice your strength. » he smiled at your answer as you walked away, getting ready for your own fight. God, did his classmates make fun of this interaction during the whole week !

Juzo Honenuki

To him, it was very early. You were at the recommended students exam, just like him. There wasn’t any 1A and 1B back then, and that sort of rivality that seemed to have emerged as soon as the Sports Festival happened.

He liked your quirk, and then you had been nice to him, and then you had even asked about his own quirk. « Oh, so it has nothing to do with the skeleton face ? » you had asked, feeling a bit bad because he seemed to have been embarrassed after that. « No, not at all ! »

Sure, Juzo was insecure. Why did his face have nothing to do with his quirk ? But with you, it was different. It was purely a question, you didn’t have any resentment towards him and he had noticed how it embarrassed you when he became awkward about it.

No one knew about his crush on you since you guys never really talked and since 1A and 1B didn’t have any class together. So, he stressed a bit hearing about the Joint Training. But luckily, you weren’t against him.

You did walk to him after his fight, actually. « Juzo ! You got way stronger ! » you admitted. He smiled, happy to have kept his helmet on. « Thank you, you too ! I’m glad I didn’t have to fight you, to be honest. » Monoma heard that. All of 1B heard about it after it. Now everyone knew because of how awkward he had sound in only one sentence.

[chimielie]

having this idea of an hq character (you can choose who it suits the most) where the reader and them are like lowkey flirting and do couple things ig but they both don’t realize that they like each other? like they are just going with the flow, and doing those things for shits and giggles but then when someone else in their friend groups point it out they are like hmm.. and then they give it some thought and then they have an oh shit moment like “yea I do like them” idk if that made any sense (feel free to ignore this too 💀)

note! i have a full fic that’s similar to this concept with akaashi, which you can find here! tysm and hope u enjoy <3

“Why do you call Kenma babygirl?” Shōyō wants to know.

“How about we stop talking for a little while,” Kenma says placidly, eyes glued to his Switch, nudging your hand with his head. He’s lying in your lap, molten-gold locks spread out so you just had to comb your fingers through them.

You don’t answer, head leaned on the window of the train. You get motionsick easier than he does, so you’d taken an anti-nausea pill and fallen asleep within ten minutes, hand still in his hair. He can feel your breathing, the side of his head pressed up against your stomach.

Shōyō, on the other hand, presses on from his seat across the aisle. “Don’t you ever think about settling down?”

“Do you? And be quiet, they’re sleeping,” Kenma says protectively. This is why you’re his favorite friend. When he slides his gaze to his orange-haired friend, he’s kicking at the floor, looking pouty.

“He means you look like a couple.” Kuroo is sitting in the corner where he shouldn’t be able to pass snarky judgment and yet he still does. Incredible.

“Don’t say what I mean!” Shōyō says to Kuroo. “But yeah, that’s what I meant.”

“We look like two friends riding the train together. Two friends who are going to get off a stop early and find their own hotel so they don’t have to deal with their other... acquaintances.”

“A love hotel,” says Kuroo, dragging out “love” into four excruciating syllables and earning himself the lowest rank among Kenma’s three (3) friends yet.

“I’m going to put a hit on you on the dark web,” Kenma says. Kuroo (who doesn’t understand the internet) is deeply, deeply afraid of the dark web.

“I get it,” Shōyō says thoughtfully. “You’re just like two friends—”

“Yes,” Kenma says. For once, he feels understood, listened to, heard.

“Who do all the things couples do but they don’t call it that. Platuney.”

“No,” Kenma drops his Switch to his stomach.

“I think the word is platonically,” says Kuroo, pronouncing it wrong with total confidence.

“You are all idiots,” the beleaguered gamer pronounces. “Name one thing Y/N and I do that I don’t do with one of you.”

“Sleepovers—”

“Takeout and a movie—”

“Animal Crossing dates—”

“Grocery store dates—”

“Who even does that, except married couples—”

“You make tea for—”

“Kissing—”

“You dared me to!” Kenma snaps, way louder than he meant to. He takes in a surprised, short breath, and then glances guiltily up at you, trying to determine whether he woke you up. Thankfully, your breaths remain deep and even, your face peaceful. He’s glad. “We’d never kiss if we weren’t in a situation like that.”

“But you want to,” Kuroo guesses. Kenma presses his lips together, a tight line.

You shift in your sleep, and he’s shockingly, acutely aware of every place you touch. The softness of you and the places that cover bone. He wonders if it was the same for you, when the bottle pointed between you both and you’d flushed but stuck your chin up bravely, and that subtle motion made him brave too.

It was so fast and he was so nervous. He can’t really remember the kiss, but he has your face memorized. He can imagine it.

Shit. He wants to kiss you again.

“Doesn’t matter,” Kenma says, picking his console back up. “Not if Y/N doesn’t want to.”

“What if they do?” Shōyō asks. Kenma rolls his eyes. This is a very annoying train of thought, since it’s derailing straight toward absolutely nothing but endless pining for him. He didn’t want this; he wanted things to be simple.

“They don’t,” he says flatly. He’s so distracted he doesn’t notice your hand sliding out of his hair or the way you stretch, rolling out your neck.

“Don’t tell lies about me,” you say, loud and clear. “I definitely do.”

Only years of lightning-fast gamer reflex training (and maybe volleyball, too, damn it) save Kenma from dropping his Switch right off the seat.

“What?”

[trashcanfills]

So I just read your hanzo space hcs and I loved the part about hushed conversations between him and genji in Japanese and I'm sorry if this request doesn't make a lot of sense but could I ask for a reader who finds out hanzo likes them because they know Japanese and listen to the arguments between hanzo and genji? Thank you and I'm sorry if this is long or confusing.

Mam/sir no this is not confusing. I like that you elaborated on the scenario u wanted me to write cus boi it helps hehe.

This became a monster of a fic jesus so uhhh more content for you i guess pardon the wait. I might edit this later cus Im not sure if Im happy with it now but eh its been stuck in my inbox for so long with some other requests better release now.

Shimada Hanzo x Reader - Hidden Confessions

Hanzo would likely be crushing on you after spending quite some time with you as friends. It’s hard to tell though because he never really says how he feels out loud, like I doubt you even are aware he considers you as a friend unless you confident/observant as hell or sth happened that both of you had to clarify for the sake of your friendship.

But alright lets say that you both consider each other as friends and you both know that. Cus friends to lovers tropes are gucci hehehehehe.

Ok so you def have to be crushing on Hanzo at this point, which I dont blame you for btw like look at the man. There’s a reason for the loads of fanart around him.

Unfortunately as we all know with the fucking friends to lovers trope drama, you cant just admit you like Hanzo that way, cus what if he doesnt sees you that way and it ruins your friendship and makes everything btw u??? Uh yea better safe than sorry bitches. Just keep it down and appreciate that you get to hang out with the angsty ass archer anyway.

Except…some kinda weird things have been going on with Hanzo and Genji? You think you see Genji talking to Hanzo in hushed whispers abt something that, based on Hanzo’s flushed and irritated expression, Hanzo clearly doesnt want to talk abt. It HAS piqued you interest when it tends to occur more often whenever you see the Shimada bros tgt. Asking Hanzo about it however just has him to dismiss it and change the subject. Rip.

Later on those hushed conversations do end up occurring in front of you and other overwatch members, in Japanese, since not many people do really know the language and the conversation was prob meant to be abt sth private and secretive.

Except, you do know Japanese. You didn’t exactly inform Hanzo or Genji of it because it seemed really entertaining to have them have these supposedly private Japanese conversations OUT LOUD without realising there were people who understood what they were saying. I mean, if it was a really sensitive thing they should be speaking behind closed doors right? Like cmon lol.

Usually, whenever the Shimada brothers talk to each other in Japanese, they would exchange some form of wit or ridiculous reference to their past (like that time Genji tried to cajole Hanzo into joining the DDR contest during one of the weekly game night sessions, until Hanzo said he still has pictures of Genji’s 16th Birthday Party Incident in Japanese. Ngl you were a lil curious what the incident was, but its likely some form of embarrassing blackmail).

However THIS TIME, it was completely different. You were chilling with a few other overwatch members plus Hanzo and Genji in the recreation room. Cue your surprise when Genji decided to ask Hanzo in Japanese:

“Sooooo…have you confessed your feelings yet, brother?”

Im sorry HANZO?? HAS FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE????? Thank god they weren’t really focusing on you that much otherwise they would have noticed your body tense a little at that. You don’t know exactly how to feel about this because this can either spell sth great or very bad for you, but most likely bad because what are the chances…right?

Hanzo predictably flushes a little, scowling even harder. If you didn’t know any better you would probably have thought that the archer was pissed at Genji about something instead of being embarrassed (tho i mean when has hanzo never been annoyed at genji lol)

At Hanzo’s expression, Genji sighed out loud. “You do realise you can’t stew on your feelings forever-“

“I can if I want to and that is my decision to make, not yours.” Hanzo hissed back. Genji, unbothered by the interruption, continued:

“-and you have been pining for them for like almost a year.”

Hanzo scoffed. Genji kept going. “I mean they are literally just RIGHT THERE. You can ask them out on like a freaking date-“

“-and risk the potential embarrassment and fallout of our current platonic relationship?”

“Look, I doubt y/n would be the kind of person to-“ Sorry, hold the phone. Did Genji say YOUR NAME?? DOES HANZO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BACK??? HOLY SHEET???? It was literally taking all of your concentration to not combust on the spot and give away the fact you could understand what they were saying in Japanese because HOLY FUCK HANZO RETURNS YOUR FEELINGS??

Ok ok calm down and listen back to the conversation because you were zoning out a bit from the revelation that Hanzo has a crush on you. Genji was still talking.

“-and you can’t be sure that they aren’t interested in you. Heck, from what I see, they seem very receptive to your boneheaded ass-“

“Being friendly and polite in a platonic relationship is no grounds for speculating romantic interest, you idiot. It’s only a common courtesy-“

“-dude do you NOT notice how much closer they are to you compared to anyone else here-“

“-and that means nothing, Genji. Cease this conversation.”

“Hanzo-“

“No. I do not wish to discuss this any further. Regardless of what you say, I severely doubt they would even like me that way.”

“Even then, just TRY. That is all I am asking of you, Hanzo. Because I want you to be happy for once-”

“You know, you guys could just asked me yourself right now if that’s what you are worried about.” You chimed in. “And speaking of which, I do actually like you too, Hanzo, and uhhh I would be totally open for a date anytime?”

Their reactions were priceless. The moment you spoke up in Japanese had the two Shimada brother halt their conversation to look at you in shock. Hanzo in particular had a myriad of expressions too entertaining to watch.

Hanzo practically went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions when you interrupted. Shock at you speaking Japanese, horror when he realised you spoke Japanese and understood it which meant you were able to listen through their conversation this entire time, until he processed the part on you liking him back which turned into a mix of joy, relief, embarrassment…yea rip Hanzo lol.

Genji meanwhile was trying so hard not to laugh because holy sheet your timing was excellent.

He had to shake Hanzo a bit to get him out of a daze, and gestured at him to ask you out. Hanzo gets his wits back after, glares at Genji because he’s such a lil shit. He then glanced at you briefly before looking away all flustered. “So uhhh…I’ll pick you for dinner at 7pm later?”

You gave him you biggest smile and agreed. That was the start of your beautiful romance with Hanzo, albeit with a mildly embarrassing start but hey, you guys got together since then. :3

BONUS: during the date

“I wasn’t aware that you knew Japanese.”

“You didn’t exactly ask me.”

“…Fair point but still.”

BONUS BONUS: immediately after Hanzo asks you out

“Holy fuck finally!”

“I-Cassidy WHAT?”

“Look. I had to sit through y/n telling me that they are crushing on Hanzo, and listen to them whine about how unfairly hot and cool Hanzo is. I couldn’t do anything about it because I had to keep it secret.”

“Mood.”

“Genji, why are you saying mood? I didn’t tell you about my crush on your brother-“

“I had to sit through Hanzo waxing poetry about you whenever he gets in this weird mood or when he gets drunk during our drinking sessions. It was funny at first but then got sad after a while when he kept making himself depressed over the idea you didn’t see him the same way.”

“You did NOT have to reveal that information-“

“You were the one who chose to confide in me, brother.”

“Hmph, then I suppose you won’t mind me showing y/n my collection of blackmail material of you, then.”

“Woah woah woah let’s not go THAT far-“

[antisocialxconstruct]

You already made me play shadowrun, convince me to play elden ring as well 👀

oh HMMMM an interesting challenge :o

In one sense it might be an easier sell to you personally, I know you're more into fantasy than scifi to begin with and Elden Ring is definitely a familiar "swords and dragons and magic" kind of setting, albeit with the gothic and eldritch sensibilities you'd expect from FromSoftware. In my opinion this is a major selling point, it feels distinctly high fantasy without just feeling like, y’know, Skyrim But Harder. (And considering I'M someone who's definitely way more into scifi than fantasy, I feel like it's noteworthy that I was still really compelled by the setting.)

The infamous Soulsborne Difficulty is obviously the big sticking point for most people. I can't confidently compare it to other Fromsoft games, but I can say that as someone who doesn't have a ton of experience with soulslikes and generally doesn't think of them as a genre I'd actively seek out, I DID eventually get extremely comfortable with Elden Ring. It can be challenging if it's not a gameplay style you're familiar with, but especially early on you have a lot of opportunities to experiment and mess up long before mistakes start feeling really costly, so it's a good time to try a lot of things. Look up guides, read the wiki, skim some recommended builds... that way if you realize you picked a starting class that doesn't have optimal stats for the skills and weapons you want to use, you can reroll early (unlike me, suffering with a steep faith handicap despite it being like the second or third most important stat for my build =_=) Also, just approach the game with the knowledge that you WILL die and you WILL have to try things more than once, especially if you're not well versed in the genre. I feel like it's much easier to have fun with this kind of game if you approach the challenging fights as earnest attempts and experiments to build a strategy on, rather than "failures" that just mean you have to Do Better. And of course, if something is just too hard to be fun... you can go somewhere else 🤷 hardcore fans might be horrified by my approach but often I would drop one thing that was too hard and wander off somewhere else, get caught up in some other quest line or dungeon or something, and come back to the first challenge so long later that I would be comically overleveled and just get the satisfaction of steamrolling it.

The equally infamous Oblique Soulsborne Storytelling is probably the OTHER major sticking point, and on that I have to say... it is extremely oblique lmao I think @axperjan got way more out of the lore than I did because they actually stopped to read item descriptions and such, so I guess my advice there would be take the time to read item descriptions if you want to know who the fuck everyone is and what they've been up to. But even with the minimal amount of lore I was actually absorbing, I still felt like I was absorbing the ~vibes~ and a lot of the time, that was enough for me to feel like I understood the kinds of struggles and conflicts I was dealing with and how I was meant to feel about them. I got very invested emotionally in several specific characters, and actively want to play the game again in order to absorb more about others and understand them better. Overall I really enjoy the tone of Elden Ring's narrative: there's an unavoidable sickness and despair to the world you're exploring, but an equally clear and distinct note of hope and optimism, a feeling that everything is on the brink of a dramatic change and an earnest desire for that change to be for the better, even if the cost is high.

The game's soundtrack and art direction are beautiful, and MOST of the combat encounters (especially boss fights) feel elegant and satisfyingly structured, so even if you never engaged with the story or lore even a little bit you would get the pleasure of playing through an expansive and competent work of art. There are definitely some recycled maps and enemies that can feel a bit tedious after the first couple times, and some sequences that feel just a little too mean-spirited to be fair, but maybe that's a bit inevitable and in my experience even the ones that made me rage-quit for a night were never enough to sour my opinion of the game as a whole.

I think Elden Ring is a great soulsborne game for people who WANT to like the soulsborne genre but are intimidated by its reputation. It's not so much "easier" that it feels like a disingenuous introduction, but it allows you to be a little more patient and go at your own pace long enough to understand what the genre is actually asking of you and start engaging with it on its own terms. I'm only two boss fights away from finishing the core game and I'm excited for the dlc, which is further than I've ever gotten and more time than I've ever invested in any other soulsborne/soulslike.

Also you get a cool goat-horse and you can feed him snacks while you're riding around 🐐

[indianchindian]

Curly Hair in Young Royals

This is another Young Royals word dump that I constantly think about, and it is about Felice, who is my favorite character in the series. Felice is mixed-race girl with a Black father and a White mother, hence part of the racial minority in Hilleska. In the first season, she was obsessed with the idea of a façade of perfection, as shown when she posted a selfie of her and her horse Rousseau and captioned about having a great time at the stables, and that she has a good relationship with Rousseau while the opposite was true, as it was Sara who truly bonded with Rousseau. She was always shown posting selfies on her Instagram account. However, one thing I found interesting is her hair.

In the first season, Felice straightened her hair because she wanted to "look" perfect and fit in with her white counterparts (who have, I'd say, racial blindness). She would wake up really early just to straighten her naturally curly hair, and it took hours. Throughout the first season her hair was straight, and according to me, it didn't suit her enough. With straight hair, she didn't look very authentic, and that is the point. Her hair is a symbol of authenticity, and initially she didn't accept that she can have flaws, whether physically or personality-wise.

However, in the first episode, when Felice was throwing up in the back door of a party was when Sara met her, drunk. She asked Sara if her hair looks curly, to which Sara, being Sara, said that it did. This caused Felice to be anxious about her looks, and explained Sara about the amount of time it takes to straighten her hair. But Sara was unfazed, and instead complemented the way she looks in curly hair. In the third season, Felice stated to Sara in the last episode that this remark meant a lot to her. That was because she internally never liked herself in curly hair and wanted to fit into the crowd of majority white students.

However, in the second season, there is a change; Felice stopped straightening her hair, and it continued in the third season as well. It was during and after she became friends with Sara and Wille, and it indicates that she has come to terms with her flaws. With the curly hair, we see a more confident and supportive Felice, especially when she's around Sara and Wille, her closest best friends.

This continued in the third season as well. And that's where racial discrimination in subtle but also no subtle ways starts. Felice was cold out for her open hair, unlike her white counterparts. She stated that there's a clear hierarchy here and in the initiations, only for one of her friends to say that she's pretty. It's evident that her friends live in a racially blind environment. They never understood what Felice had to go through as a black girl because of their shared economic and social privileges. They never understood that she woke up an hour early so as to straighten her hair. It was maybe because of her growing friendship with Sara that she started to embrace her natural hair more. Her no longer straightening her hair signifies that she's close to becoming her authentic self.

The fact that she stated that Sara saying that her hair looks pretty when curly is already evident when she stopped straightening her hair. This remark by Sara was the first step to embracing herself and her identity. This is the reason why she missed Sara even though she was very angry and hurt by her actions with August, because she was the first true friend she had, and still deep inside was grateful for the kind of impact she made. This didn't cost her self-respect though.

The impact of her curly hair is more with her conversation with her father about his experiences at Hilleska being the only black student there, and for him the hierarchy was even more evident. Curly hair is seen in mostly African people, and considering the history of racial discrimination in Europe, her hair was seen as undesirable, which is why the headmistress would tell her to tie her hair up when it was opened. And this is the reason why she straightened her hair. However, I'm glad she stopped straightening her hair because curly hair really suits her :)