#it was really sad and they did a lot to spread awareness

[kaybreezy3000]

You say five likes blonde women, I think five doesn't give a shit what color someone's hair is. Dolores usually has no hair at all, does that mean Five likes bald women?

No it doesn't, it just confirms that Five doesn't give a shit.

Dolores even has brunette hair in one episode and? Five doesn't care, if Five cared he would have said something about it.

Saying that Five only likes blonde women because he looks at a dancer and flirts with a woman who has blonde hair is kind of weird.

Dolores most likely had a blonde wig on at the beginning, which is why he imagines her like that.

Wow. There's some very anger laced 'shits' dropped in this one and I even got passive aggressively called a weirdo. This is me after reading this.

Just kidding. I am not Ron Burgendy and I didn't get this unpleasant message while in a telephone booth.

(Added-6-21 I just want to say thank you to the kind person that did an ask to respond to this and the nice things you said. I don't want to reply to that through the ask option because it won't come to you directly, but just know that I got it and I really appreciate your words and support. ❤️)

This is not my first comment on here that's not all that nice, and I am not shocked by it at all. I figured there'd be people who would get bent out of shape by my reply, but this anon ask I received today makes me think about people I care about on here who have been hit with mean spirited comments. It's so sad that people feel the need to do this in this way, and it worries me because there are people of all ages on here just trying to chat and make friends with people who are into the same things as them.

My point in answering it is not to start a pissing match. It's to make note of what my real reply actually said because this person got it all sorts of wrong. I also want to make people aware that this stuff happens a lot on here and other sites, and it really shouldn't.

I think we all agree that this is not the place to spread hate and angry speeches at people. This fandom is a kind one that is full of enthusiastic people that love the show and the characters and just want to have fun talking about them and speculating all sorts of things. With that, many in the past have made fun intended posts pointing out that the Hargreeves men tend to have a thing for blondes, that being Grace is blonde, Sissy was blonde, Dolores was blonde in Five's trippy spit goober moment with her, and even Lila dyed her hair blonde. That said, we all know that Sloane is not blonde, and Harold wasn't either, but that was not the point, and it didn't even occur to me to blast them with shit bombs of anger about it. It was just an innocent musing, and I am assuming the person who wrote this for me would take issue with that innocent musing as well.

The point is, sending anonymous asks to people like this is not a cool thing to do, but I am guessing the person who wrote it is aware of that. People on here and A03 and Reddit get hit with this kind of negativity all the time on their ideas, stories, and art, and I wish those that feel the need to so bash others would think twice about it and look back at themselves and try to figure out why they are so mad about such silly things and if it really makes sense to feel that way at all.

That said, I seemed to have hit a sore spot with this person with my response on the original 'ask' someone gave me on Five maybe liking/or having a preference for blondes.

Link to the original post.

To the person upset, keep in mind that Five is a fictional character from comic books and a Netflix show. Five Hargreeves, in his mind, one that isn't even real, other than in what the actor gave us with his brilliant insight and the helpful direction of the producers, and what we individually like to imagine for him, may not as you said, 'give a shit what color someone's hair is or have any preferences when it comes to attraction.' But there is no need to be so upset or blow me up like this about it and I'm not so sure you even read my response because I myself fictionally see him with many other kinds of people.

You apparently by what you said above, have direct knowledge of what this fictional character would say or do, so maybe instead of posting this to me in your anon mad person style, you can do a post and speak your mind on the topic and give your reasons for your thinking and back it up with stuff from the show or comic or don't back it up with anything at all-anything goes on here, not sure if you noticed that yet.

I am sure you are not the only one who thinks I am 'weird' for what I came up with and my reasons. You are not the only one out there that thinks I am horribly wrong for my interpretations of these scenes. And maybe you are right that Five would 'say it out loud if he cared one way or another if someone was blonde or not.' Not that you agree based on your emotional statement, but to me, that really is neither here nor there because the show didn't have that happen and the topic didn't come up for Five to say anything like that. I was only basing my reply off things actually shown us, so that's why my response was stated the way it was. You can think and do as you please, just please don't fire your opinions so vapidly and maybe do it with your actual username next time. If you really feel this way, you will have no worry putting it out there for people to respond directly to you.

I'm not a beautiful blonde or a sexy club dancer and I don't feel called out by the show making it look like Five likes blondes and likes watching girly shows, so I am not sure why you'd be so miffed about the idea the show gave us or it being discussed between fans of the show.

Someone can have a liking to a certain attribute in others but not have it be the only way they like things. My intention in answering that ask was in fun and simply looking at the things that point to yes, based on the show and the parts it gave us with Five and him eyeing up women, it does give the impression that he likes/enjoys blondes. The dancer part doesn't really matter, but he was at a club with scantily clad dancers so... yeah again, try to chill out about that, it wasn't even a point in what I was saying, it was just what the show had him doing.

I never said Five only likes blonde women because he looked at a dancer and flirted with a woman who has blonde hair. It's weird to me that you read all that and that's the take on all of that you chose to get disgruntled about.

The main part of what I wrote that matters was that if Five didn't like blonde hair, he never would have envisioned Dolores as a blonde in season 3 when he had no reason to otherwise. That said, for all I know, he could have seen her with a different color of hair every other day or even as a bald piece of plastic like she really was.

Again, my reply is only based on the source material they gave us, not my own projections.

Dolores's wig was actually brown-ish auburn in the store when he found her there in season 1, so it's probable it was still the same wig she had on when the blast happened. Five may not have seen that though because it may have been ruined and it may not have mattered to him in what he later saw her as. I mention that in my post and in the comments on the original post after someone else pointed that out who seemed upset, and I also said many other things in regard to Five and his seemingly being into blondes on the show, and that I personally feel very flexible on that idea. I write and read about him with other types of people-not all blondes.

Five Hargreeves is just a fictional character, so we can all put our own take on him and his preferences and that is all good with me and I encourage it. The post I did was merely intended in good nature to chat with a fellow fan and to discuss the show's version of him based on the scenes they gave us.

Perhaps trying to look at it less seriously and go with kindness towards yourself and others, and perhaps doing some personal reflection next time if something so unimportant sets you off is a better place to spend your time.

Or...my suggestion to all of us on here would be that if you see something you don't like, ignore it. My ideas and thoughts and art and stories are nothing but jack-shit in the big scheme of things that matter. So, ignore the post I made like so many other posts out there that I am sure don't agree with you.

As always, ☮️&❤️ and long live TUA fandom-you are a uniquely passionate crew and I love you all,

Breezy

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I’m legit gonna start saying ‘chronically unhip’ irl that’s so funny

*tragically unhip

It's a pun off of the band Tragically Hip. But yeah it's a pretty good reference and joke tbh

[evansbby]

𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒☆.｡.:*

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐕 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐛

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mean jock!Ari Levinson x naive!reader, mean jock!Steve Rogers x naive reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smutt, dubcon, daddy!kink, size difference, innocence kink, HEAVY MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL AND DRUG CONSUMPTION, mentions of depression, mentions of self-medication, seriously, if you're sensitive about that kind of stuff please do not read, 18+ only, minors dni!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You're done with both Ari and Steve. But they're not quite done with you...

𝐀/𝐍: Here it is. Again, I'm putting up a disclaimer: Please beware of the strong mentions of irresponsible alcohol and drug consumption in this chapter. Also be aware of the depictions of depression in this chapter. Stay safe & only read what you are comfortable with. This is a dark story. This is chapter 4 of Wicked Games. It is 33.6k words. Enjoy, besties!

Steve: Hey. Look, I’m really sorry about what happened yesterday. Things got out of control and I really did not mean to scare you. Could we talk in person?

Steve: I did plan a date for us. I know you don’t believe me, but I did. For whatever that’s worth. Look, just text me back, okay? Or answer my calls.

Steve: Sometimes I just get like that. Even if you don’t understand, just reply and say you’ll talk to me. I’ll explain everything. Please.

Steve: Can’t you see I’m trying? I want us to work.

Steve: It wasn’t just about sex to me. I know that’s what it looked like but it wasn’t.

Steve: ?????

Each time your phone pings with a new text, you feel a stronger urge to just throw it out the window. Oh, why couldn’t he just leave you alone? You feel awful and on edge, the night’s sleep had done you absolutely no good. You’d tossed and turned the whole time, crying and feeling sad about how terribly your “date” had gone down yesterday. How you’d been used. How it was all just about sex for him, no matter what he claimed.

Your phone starts pinging again.

Ari: Are you okay?

Ari: You need to tell me exactly what he did to you. I’ll set him straight, I promise. I just need to know what he did.

Ari: You were really worked up yesterday so I gave you your space but I’m worried. And pissed off. Just answer me.

Ari: Pick up your phone.

Ari: I’m coming over.

No, no, no. You don’t want him to come over. You don’t want to see either of them. To hell with their mood swings and cocky egos and fake concern for you. Now you know there was only one thing that men like Ari and Steve truly ever wanted from you – sex. Fuck them both. If Ari came over now, you’d scream your head off and not let him in again.

You were done. Completely and irrevocably done. Not just with Ari and Steve, but with men and relationships in general. You were going to make a solemn vow to yourself that from now on, that–

A sudden knocking on your door interrupts your thoughts. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you feel the anger surge through you. Who the fuck was that? Ari? He’d only just sent his last message a minute ago – how was he already here?

A wave of anxiety overtakes you suddenly… What if it was Steve?

Another knock. But it sounds a lot softer than Ari’s usual loud banging – which was what he did on days where he’d forget your dorm key at home.

“Y/N?” You hear a faint, familiar voice from the other side of the door. “Are you there?”

Huh. That was definitely not Steve or Ari…

It takes you about five seconds to haul yourself off your bed and across the room. You open the door cautiously, only to find Sharon standing there. Her face is swollen, red and blotchy, her shiny and usually pristinely styled hair scraped back in a low, sad ponytail. Not a trace of makeup on her face, and she’s wearing a loose, wrinkled St. Andrews sweatshirt instead of her usual cheerleading uniform.

“Ari broke up with me!” She bursts into tears, pulling you into a hug that you have no choice but to return. And the guilt is immediate, spreading throughout your body, thrumming through your bloodstream along with dread. Of course, you knew Ari had dumped her… for you.

“Oh, Sharon…” you mumble against her sweatshirt, a huge lump forming in your throat, “I’m so, so sorry.” Sorrier than you realise…

Sharon sniffles, “I know we’re not really close, but I just didn’t know who else to talk to about this. All my friends are also his friends, or girlfriends of his friends, and…and…and I just needed someone who was my friend, and not his, and–” She breaks out into a fresh wave of tears, hugging you tightly again, burying her face in your neck as she cries. You awkwardly pat her shoulder, feeling like the world’s worst person.

“Come in,” you say reluctantly. Sure, you had your own problems, but you weren’t just going to leave her crying out in the hallway, were you? Especially not since you were basically the reason for her tears.

She smiles weakly, “Thank you.”

You manage to quickly type out a message to Ari while she isn’t looking:

Sharon’s here. Don’t come over. And stop texting me.

“It just came so out of nowhere,” she says, following you into your room and sitting on the edge of your bed, “Well, we weren’t having sex like how we used to but I just assumed he was stressed about basketball or something.”

“Wait, the two of you weren’t having sex?” You blurt out a tad too eagerly, but she doesn’t seem to notice. You sink down beside her, “I mean… wow… so you guys weren’t being – uh – intimate?”

Sharon shakes her head, using the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe her eyes, “Not for, like, the past month. But I really didn’t think he was cheating on me… But he basically told me he was dumping me because there was someone else.”

Your heart jumps up to your throat, “H-He said that?”

“Yeah. Well, at first, he kept saying the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ crap.” She snorts, aggressively twining a loose strand of her blonde hair round and round her pointer finger, “But I told him to be honest and just tell me straight up, and I was yelling and so upset and finally he said that there was someone else. Can you believe that?”

Your hands feel clammy, the guilt and anxiety churning around in your stomach like a witch’s cauldron. Should you tell her now? Tell her that you’re the reason her boyfriend dumped her? That you’d been sleeping with Ari behind her back for months? Oh God… You were an awful person, weren’t you? Well, you hadn’t known about Sharon at first… and back then you were innocent enough to believe Ari when he said he’d broken up with her. But you’d wisened up to that and still had sex with him at the party, hadn’t you?

You gulp, “Sharon, there’s something–”

“And can you believe that for a split second I thought it was you?” She says suddenly, her eyes wide and unblinking.

Your blood freezes, “I, I–”

“I know, I know… Totally ridiculous, right?” She laughs. And you’d expected her laugh to be all cute and twinkly and perfect how she is, but it’s low and hoarse and ironic. She squeezes your arm, “I hate that my mind even went there. I don’t know you that well but I just know you wouldn’t do that to me, Y/N.”

“Sharon–”

 “It’s just that one time, at that basketball practice when the ball hit your face. The way Ari carried you off… I just got this feeling in my gut, you know?” She laughs again, “But that was just Ari being Ari, stepping up and taking charge of a situation when no one else would. And it’s awful of me to even think you’d do something like that when you’d just got struck in the face and were probably in a lot of pain. Gosh, I’m so sorry for even thinking it!”

She hugs you again. You can smell her sweet perfume, and it goes straight to your head, making you feel sick. Or maybe it’s the guilt eating away at your insides that’s making you feel sick.

“There’s something I have to tell you–”

“–We were together for almost a whole year, you know?” Sharon cuts you off again. “I was gonna take him home for Thanksgiving and everything.” She’s still hugging you, and her cheek rests against the bare nape of your neck. You weren’t used to being this touchy with your girlfriends, but you continue to pat her back nonetheless, feeling like the world’s most awful person ever.

“He’s just the world’s most awful person ever!” She cries, “Like he threw our relationship away like it was nothing! And I was so good to him, Y/N!”

“I know, I know,” you say softly. You feel a wave of disgust for Ari overtake you, but the disgust you feel at yourself overshadows it completely.

“But maybe it’s for the best,” She sits up suddenly, her eyes wide and glistening, an almost daring look on her face, your hand still encased in hers. “Maybe me and Ari weren’t meant to be, and he was just a stupid phase in my life.”

“He’s just a fuckboy,” you agree truthfully, despite feeling rotten over your role in all of this. “You can do so much better than him, Sharon.”

She nods, “Yeah, I think so too. I mean, he’s super hot and all, but…” And then she pauses, looking at you with a curious expression. She bites her lip, still holding on to your hand. “Maybe this is too much information, but lately, even when I was, you know, taking care of myself… I wouldn’t think of him. I’d think of someone else.”

“That’s good!” You say enthusiastically. “Who were you thinking of? Like an actor or singer or something? Or a cute guy in one of your classes?”

She stares at you a bit longer, before suddenly dropping her gaze, “Yeah, something like that. Anyways, thank you so much for being there for me, Y/N. I know I just barged into your room unannounced.”

At that moment, your phone vibrates. Once, twice, three times. More texts. You’re thankful you left your phone facedown; in case they were from Ari and she saw.

“That’s probably Steve, isn’t it?” Sharon says.

You nod quickly, suddenly in a hurry to stop talking about Ari, “Yeah. They’re all from him. He’s been texting me nonstop since last night when me and him had a fight.”

“Oh no. Is everything gonna be okay?”

You shake your head tersely, not wanting to talk about the disastrous date. “No. Me and him are over. Forever.” And so are me and Ari.

Sharon nods, giving you another hug. “Men are trash. I’m so glad we have each other, Y/N. I’m so happy we’re friends now.”

You swallow harshly, hoping the guilt isn’t so evident on your face. Inside your head, there’s about a million different thoughts racing each other. Should you tell her about Ari now? Or wait till later when she was more distanced from the situation and less distraught? Oh God, it was like problems followed you wherever you went! First Steve, then Ari, and now Sharon was in the mix too. And the worst part was, how kind she was being. How genuinely good she was and how she didn’t deserve to be lied to in the least.

I’ll tell her, you promise yourself. I swear I’ll tell her soon…

***

“You need to stop moping around so much,” Wanda says as the two of you walk down the corridor after a lecture. Well, she walks. You just drag your feet. It’s been two days since the “date” with Steve and the subsequent scene with Sharon in your dorm room, and your emotions have been all over the place.

“Like okay, so the Steve thing didn’t work out. It’s not the end of the world, is it? Just get over it.” Wanda continues scanning the crowd of people in the hallway.

“I just feel like nobody wants a relationship with me, Wanda.” You say softly. “All they ever seem to want is sex.”

“Huh? Yeah, that really sucks,” she says distractedly, standing on her tip-toes to look over the sea of heads all milling around or heading to their next class. “Where’s Curtis? He agreed to meet me here.”

Your stomach drops. Curtis again? Oh, you hope Ari’s not with him! You’d successfully been able to avoid him since the night he’d left your dorm room, and you didn’t want to break that streak now.

Wanda spots her boyfriend a moment later and squeals, jumping up and down trying to get his attention. Thankfully, he isn’t with Ari. But he is standing in a cosy corner of the corridor, deep in conversation with a tiny brunette cheerleader. You watch as she laughs at something he said and puts her hand on his chest.

You glance warily at Wanda, but she still has that determined bright smile on her face as she charges over to him, pulling you along with her.

“Curtis! Hey!” She wraps her arms around his neck territorially, plastering her lips on his. The cheerleader smirks, and you see her wink at him before she leaves. Only then does Curtis finally give his girlfriend some attention. You stand there, awkwardly staring at your shoes for the next five minutes while they noisily kiss next to you.

“You still in a bad mood, sweetheart?” Curtis grins once the two of them finally break apart.

“She’s always in a bad mood,” Wanda interjects before you can respond, “Hey, Curtis, you wanna check out the new drive-in theatre downtown? I don’t have any more classes today and I know you don’t either.”

Curtis yawns, “I don’t know. I kinda just wanna chill today.”

“Oh. That’s fine too, I guess. You wanna just grab lunch on campus?”

“Nah. I think I’ll just head back home. I have stuff to do.”

Wanda nods, “Okay, can I come too?”

He shrugs, “Sure. If you must.”

They start towards the exit, and you have no choice but to follow them. But when Wanda stops to talk to one of the girls in her Philosophy class, Curtis shoots you a smirk.

“Sweetheart, why don’t you come back to my place too?”

You frown, “What would I do in your room with you and Wanda?”

The spark in his eye is nothing short of devilish, “I could think of a few things the three of us could get up to.”

“You’re disgusting, Curtis.”

“You sure about that? I have some more of those magic pills you’re such a huge fan of. The three of us could have some fun.” His eyes rake over your body brazenly, and you feel the urge to throw up. So, it was true. All men viewed you as an easy hook-up. A slut. Ari, Steve, now Curtis too.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Wanda is your girlfriend and you should have more respect for her.”

He rolls his eyes, “You’re one to talk about respecting girlfriends.”

The jab stings, especially since it has a ring of truth to it. But you glare up at him nonetheless, “Fuck you.”

“Are you and Ari both perpetually in a bad mood these days or what?”

“I’m not speaking to Ari, so I wouldn’t know what kind of mood he’s in.” You answer curtly.

“He’s in a shitty mood, I’ll tell you that much,” Curtis snorts. “You’d think he’d be over the fucking moon after finally dumping Sharon, but now all he does is glare at his phone because you won’t answer his texts.”

Sure, Ari had been continuously texting and calling you for the past two days, but you’d gotten better at ignoring him. The last text you’d sent him was when you’d told him not to come over because Sharon was there.

“Are we ready to go, babe?” Wanda asks, waving goodbye to the girl from her Philosophy class.

Curtis stretches and grunts, “Yeah, let’s go,” He looks over at you, “You need a lift to wherever you’re headed?”

“No, she doesn’t!” Wanda interjects quickly, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the exit impatiently, “You wanted to be alone, didn’t you, Y/N?”

You shrug, “Sure.”

Watching them leave hand in hand, you stand there in a sea of people – and yet you feel more alone than ever. You know you need to snap out of this funk, but it’s so hard. Even now, as you look around, you can see about five different couples. All happily hanging out, talking, eating lunch together, kissing, holding hands. Would you ever experience anything normal like that?

You’re about to leave when someone grabs your wrist, yanking you sideways. You yelp, barely catching a glimpse of Ari’s brown waves before you’re pulled into an empty corridor.

“Ari! What the fuck–”

“Stop it with the ignoring my texts shit!” He spits out, eyes already blazing, “I’ve been worried sick about you.”

“Let go of me.”

Surprisingly, he does. But he blocks your path with his huge frame, stepping in front of you every time you try to push past him. This continues for a solid minute and a half before you finally huff and give up trying to escape.

“I went to see Steve that night.” Ari says finally.

Your stomach churns at the mention of the blonde’s name.

“I don’t want to hear this.”

“He wasn’t at home. And the other guys in his frat wouldn’t say where he was,” he runs a hand through his hair, “But I’m guessing he was probably hiding out at his parent’s house.”

That was exactly where he was. You knew that.

“Please tell me you didn’t go there.”

Ari regards you closely, as if you’re made out of glass and he’s trying to formulate his sentences as carefully as he can. “I didn’t,” he says finally, sighing, “I was about to, but–”

“Good,” you interrupt, “I don’t need you fighting him or whatever. Not on my behalf.” You narrow your eyes, “How do you even know where his parents’ house is?”

He hesitates, “I don’t know off the top of my head, but I would’ve found out.” He grabs your hands, his blue eyes looking earnest, which is a look you aren’t used to seeing on him at all. “He’s clearly avoiding me, but look, the sooner you tell me what exactly happened between you and him, the sooner I’ll deal with it.”

From over his shoulder, you see a group of cheerleaders walk by. In a panic, you snatch your hands away from him. Was Sharon with them? Had she seen you with him? No. She wasn’t there. And yet now you feel more paranoid than ever.

“We can’t do this, Ari,” you mutter, trying to sidestep him again, “We can’t be seen together now or ever again, so just move so I can leave–”

“No.”

“Yes!” you try not to explode or lose your patience, “This isn’t right, okay? You and me, we’re not right. Sharon doesn’t deserve us going behind her back, she doesn’t–”

“I told you, I broke up with her.”

“That doesn’t make any of this okay, so just move!”

He doesn’t. Instead, he grabs your arm again, tugging you somewhere deep into the corridor before you have a chance to stop him or finish your sentence. And he’s too strong to fight against, so you don’t even try it. The last thing you want is to put any more attention on you or him. Even if Sharon wasn’t around, one of her friends could see you with him and report back to her. And after everything that happened with you and Sharon, you wanted to come clean to her yourself, rather than have her hear about you sleeping with her boyfriend behind her back from somebody else.

“The supply closet? Really, Ari?” You plant your hands on your hips, watching as he shuts and locks the door of the dimly lit room.

He shrugs, “If it’ll get you to stop running away from me...”

“Well, why can’t you just get the message? I’m running for a reason.” You try to push past him, but the closet is way too small to allow that type of movement. He easily grabs your waist and lifts you back in front of him, making you scowl. “Look, I don’t know what you expected would happen between us when you dumped Sharon, I already told you we’re done. She doesn’t deserve this.”

Ari has the audacity to look confused, “Since when do you care about her?”

“Since I developed a brain and realised what we did behind her back for months was wrong!” You explode, hating the fact that you have to spell this out for him. “You know that she came to my dorm room the day after you dumped her? She was a mess, Ari! All because of us, and she doesn’t even know it!”

 He sighs, “If you want, I could come clean to her and tell her it was you who I was sleeping with. You shouldn’t have to deal with that, it’s my problem, anyways.”

“No, you don’t say anything, Ari! I’m going to tell her myself.” Soon.

“Okay, but trust me, don’t worry about her too much. She’s a strong girl, she’ll bounce back.”

You stare at him incredulously. Strong girl? Bounce back? Oh, he was infuriating!

“Whatever, Ari.” You mutter, once more trying to push past him but he places you back in front of him with such ease that it’s almost comical.

“What happened to you that day with Steve?” He asks again, his brow furrowed.

“It’s none of your business.”

He scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. “You came home in tears with your dress all torn up and you expect me to just go about my business as if all that was nothing?”

“Yes. It shouldn’t be too hard for you considering you’ve left me in tears yourself a couple of times.” You think back to the frat party, how he’d left you drunk, high and in tears in the bathroom. By the guilt that flashes in Ari’s eyes, he remembers too.

“I told you I was sorry about that.”

You shrug, “Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways. You used me, and Steve used me too.” Your voice almost breaks but you clear your throat quickly, not wanting to cry in front of him.

“What do you mean Steve used you?” Ari grabs your shoulders with a note of urgency. “Did he do something you didn’t want to do? Did he fuck you? Goddamit, I told you not to speak to him!”

Shaking out of his grasp, you feel another flash of anger. The same flash you’d felt surge through you the night you’d kicked Ari out of your dorm room. A part of you wants to start yelling and screaming again, but you know you can’t do that here.

“What does it matter, anyways?” You snap, feeling the walls building up around you. Half of you wants to scream and the other half wants to curl up and cry. The two emotions swirl inside you like a whirlpool, making you feel lightheaded.

A handful of seconds go by and all Ari does is stare at you. You can hear him breathing hard, almost erratically, as if deciding his next move. Finally, he bends down so his face is level with yours, his hands leaving your shoulders to cup your cheeks instead. His eyes, so bright blue despite the dark mustiness of the supply closet, bore into yours so intensely.

“Did. He. Fuck. You?”

“No.”

“Did he hurt you?”

You don’t answer, instead staring at the dark nothingness beyond Ari’s shoulder. Maybe if you focused on it hard enough, you could dissociate and float away from this situation. Float away from anyone else who could hurt you or use you or manipulate you. Float away from the guilt, the shame, the sadness, all of it.

Instead, you feel the wind being knocked out of you as Ari roughly pushes you against what feels like a shelf. The wooden edges poke against your back, and your mouth curls in pain.

“Listen to me. I’m not fucking around anymore, okay? You need to tell me what happened right fucking now.” Ari growls, his face inches from yours. It seems like someone’s ignited a fire in his eyes, twin fires – one burning bright in each eye, and you can practically feel the heat of his anger radiating from his being.

“You’re hurting me!” You cry out pitifully.

Like a hot poker, Ari drops you immediately, regret seeping through his features before he takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…” He pauses, and for a second his whole face screws up and contorts, like he’s inwardly examining every corner of his brain to conjure up the right thing to say. “Look, I care about you. A lot. And these past two days have been torture, knowing that he did something to you and I couldn’t protect you.”

He sounds sincere, but you know it’s all an act. He doesn’t mean it, he’s only trying to be nice so he can have sex with you later, the voice inside your head cackles.

“So just tell me what he did, and I’ll–”

 “WHAT PART OF IT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, ARI?” You burst, “What part of the whole ugly thing would you like me to relive first? The part where he promised he’d take me out on a date but he took me to his bedroom instead?” You duck your head in shame, “I suppose I should be used to that by now, but I was stupid enough to let myself hope.”

Ari draws his breath but stays silent.

“Or would you rather I tell you everything he said? Down to the last fucking detail? How he basically implied that I was the world’s biggest slut?” This time, you can’t keep the tears at bay. “H-He said… He said I should stop acting like a nun because I had no problem with you fucking me at the party!”

You don’t mention the part where Steve had also said you’d had no problem spreading your legs for Steve too the night of the party. You have yet to come to terms with and address that little detail, and so you push it back to the depths of your mind for now. Ari couldn’t know about that, not when you didn’t know yourself.

Instead, your face crumples up, and before you realise it, you’re heaving with tears. Waterfalls pouring down your cheeks as you cry and cry. You don’t even notice Ari picking you up, you don’t notice him sitting down on a nearby stool and holding you in his lap. Carefully holding your head against his chest, rocking you back and forth as his other hand rubs up and down your back.

So much for all your bravado, so much for keeping up a strong front and resisting Ari at all costs. Here you were again, crying in his arms like you always ended up doing.

“H-He was so awful!” you sob, burying your head deep in Ari’s shirt, inhaling the manly scent of his aftershave, and it calms your hurting heart a little bit. But not enough. “He said all these mean things, and he…he wouldn’t stop, Ari! I k-kept saying no, but he wouldn’t listen at all! It was like something came over him!”

You fist the soft material of Ari’s jersey, taking comfort in the feel of his strong arms wrapped tightly around you. His familiar, manly scent and his soft hair tickling your face as he holds you carefully against him. And despite everything, you can’t help but note how strange this is. Of course, Ari had held you while you cried about a dozen times – but this seemed different. For one, he wasn’t cooing sweet manipulations into your ear. He was just… silent. You risk peaking up at him through teary eyes, to see him looking straight ahead with a grim look on his face, the beginnings of a sneer forming on his lips.

“It’s okay,” Ari says softly, his voice sounding thick as if there’s something stuck in his throat. Was this what true, earnest sympathy sounded like coming from him? Or was it all just an act? You’re too busy crying and seeking solace in his warm chest to really mull it over, and the beefy basketball player continues to stroke your back, “It’s okay, baby. He won’t hurt you anymore. I promise he won’t.”

“JUST SAY IT ALREADY! Just say ‘I told you so!’” You sob, “He didn’t care about me at all, Ari! Just like you said. He was just using me. He just wanted sex, or to get back at you, or both!”

He doesn’t say I told you so. Instead, his lips press down on top of your head, kissing you gently. And you know you should push him away, but you reason with yourself to hold on to him just for a little bit longer. Just till you felt a little bit better. Was that so wrong?

“He won’t hurt you again,” Ari repeats firmly, now cupping your face with both his hands so you look him dead in the eye.

“He scared me so bad, Ari!” you sniffle, “H-He punched a wall when I said I wanted to leave, and then…and then he wouldn’t let me go!”

Ari mutters something unintelligible under his breath, before using the corner of his sleeve to wipe your cheeks. “How did you get him to stop?”

“I couldn’t. But thankfully, his sister was there and she stopped him.”

Ari freezes, “His sister?”

“Yes.”

“Did she say anything to you?”

“Not really,” you look down at your hands. Recounting the whole horrific ordeal with Steve had caused them to start shaking, and you grip at your skirt to get them to stop. Before you know it, Ari’s larger hands cup your own, holding them in place on your lap, stilling them, calming you.

“Well, don’t worry,” Ari says firmly, “he won’t touch you ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

His face looks earnest, sincere. A large part of you feels comforted by him, but there’s also a dwindling doubt in the back of your mind. A little speck of mistrust growing larger and larger, fuelled by all the times he’s hurt you. Fuelled by how Steve had hurt you. Despite the fact that you don’t want to, you snatch your hands out of his and shoot up off his lap as if he’s shot you. No. You weren’t going to do this again. You weren’t going to fall for his false promises. Not this time.

“Stop lying,” you say shakily, backing away from him slowly. “You don’t care about me so stop pretending like you do. You just want me for sex, and you’re angry that someone else got close to having me like that too. But you don’t actually care about me or how I feel, Ari, so just stop lying!”

He stands up too, frowning, “I’m not lying. I dumped Sharon. I’ve been texting and calling you this whole time. Hell, I’m standing inside a fucking supply closet just to get a minute alone with you. What part of that says I don’t care?”

“You don’t care,” you repeat softly, “It took me a while to realise it, but now I do. All I’m good for is sex.”

“That’s not true–”

“Yes it is!” You cry, “Remember all the times I begged to be your girlfriend and you came up with a bullshit excuse each time? It’s because you knew that I wasn’t worth anything more than a hook-up for you!” You shake your head bitterly, “God, you must’ve been laughing behind my back at how stupid and naïve I was for expecting more from you. Steve’s probably laughing too. You’re both the same and I’m not going to let you or him or anyone else hurt me ever again! So, for the love of God, just leave me alone!”

You turn to leave, but Ari grabs your hand.

“What’s it going to take to show you that I care about you? Because I’ll do it.”

You don’t turn back around, waiting two long seconds before you tug your hand out of his grip. But you do open your mouth to respond – except nothing comes out. Instead, you sigh. There was really nothing more left to say, was there? Except perhaps just one more thing…

“Nothing, Ari. People don’t just change overnight. Especially not people like you.”

You step out of the supply closet, carefully shutting the door behind you and finally walking away. And hopefully this time, it’s for good.

***

Ari: WTF. Why did you change your lock???

Ari: Stop avoiding me.

Ari: If you weren’t so hellbent on ignoring me, you’d know that I have changed. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.

Ari: ???????

Ari: Steve’s still dodging me, by the way. Me and Curtis went over to his frat house but he wasn’t there again. Clearly, he’s afraid of me, but don’t worry. I promise I’ll make him pay for what he did.

The days go by, and Ari continues to text you daily all while you lock yourself up in your room and pretty much avoid the outside world. And his last text makes you want to tear your hair out. Why couldn’t Ari just butt out of your life and stop trying to fight Steve on your behalf!? You’d never asked for that; you didn’t want that! You just wished the whole ordeal with Steve had never even happened, you wished you could will it out of existence.

And speaking of Steve, he still texted you too. Not as frequently as Ari, which made him better at taking a hint than he was at planning first dates. But you still received a message from him every now and again…

Steve: I get it. I fucked it all up.

Steve: I need to see you again. I’ll make it right. Please.

And sure, there was a tiny part of you that did want to hear Steve out. But you were afraid of him, afraid of what he’d do or say. Plus, he’d literally lied to you, pretended he was interested in having a relationship with you when really, he just wanted sex. So, who was to say he wouldn’t lie again? Oh God, everything felt so wrong, how could he possibly make anything right!?

And why couldn’t you just block them both and move on!? You wish you could, yet you can’t find it in you to block or delete either of their numbers. Not Ari’s, and not even Steve’s. Maybe it’s the naïve little girl inside you, the insecure little girl who wants to hold on to the only male attention she’s ever gotten – despite the fact that your relationships with both men had gone up in smoke. And so you settle with just muting and archiving their chats. Out of sight, out of mind – except not really. But it’s the best you can do for now.

And you feel more alone now than ever. With Wanda always preoccupied with Curtis, you had nobody to confide your heartbreak in. But ironically, you began to grow closer with Sharon. On the rare occasions you actually left your dorm room and made it into campus for your lectures, she always seemed to find you. You realised quickly that she no longer hung out with her usual cheerleader friends. Either she herself had opted to leave them, or they’d decided to leave her because she was no longer the basketball captain’s girlfriend. Either way, you didn’t ask.

“It’s probably one of them,” Sharon mutters darkly one day as the two of you walk past a gaggle of cheerleaders, “The bitch he was cheating on me with. It’s probably one of them.”

You gulp. You had yet to come clean to her – but you could never find the right moment. And as time went by and she started spending more and more time with you, it got even harder to just drop the bomb and be like, oh hey, by the way! That bitch who your boyfriend cheated on you with? That was me!

But apart from all that, Sharon was good company. Both of you were dealing with heartbreak (she seemed to be dealing with hers better than you were dealing with yours), and so there was a kind of understanding between the two of you. Not to mention, hanging out with her turned out to be useful in keeping Ari away from you. Any time he spotted you on campus, he’d start making a beeline for you before freezing when he realised you were with her.

“You know, I think I figured out why both Ari and Steve treated us the way they did.” Sharon pipes up one day whilst the two of you are leaving campus. “It’s because we’re too nice.”

“Hm?” You barely utter a word, just wanting to get home and wallow in bed. You hadn’t told Sharon the extent of what had happened between you and Steve on your “date.” All she knew was that it was over, and you never wanted to speak to him again.

“Yeah, it’s because we’re too nice. Bad bitches don’t get their hearts broken, but nice girls always do.” She says, unscrewing her lip gloss and touching up her lips. Unlike you, she’d gotten some of her pep back since her breakup. In a way, you were glad. You’d rather her be happy than you – she deserved it after getting cheated on. 

You manage to laugh cynically, which eggs the blonde on as she continues.

“I’m serious. From here on out, let’s promise not to take any shit from anyone. That way, no one can hurt us again.”

No one hurting you ever again? That sounded like a dream. You knew you could be naïve at times, especially months ago when Ari had first started hooking up with you. Back then, you really thought you’d hit the jackpot and found yourself the perfect boyfriend. Now, months later, it was like you’d mentally matured at rapid speed. Could you be tougher now? Stop being the stupid, naïve little girl that kept getting played by men?

“That’s easier said than done,” you remark softly.

Sharon shrugs, “It’s worth a shot. I think if you act like an ice queen well enough, people are gonna know not to fuck with you. So, like, next time Steve tries to approach you or sweet-talk you into taking him back, just act like you couldn’t care less. Keep a strong resolve, he’ll get the message.”

You think back to all the times in the past you’ve tried to keep a strong resolve. Not with Steve, but with Ari. And every single time, you’d ended up crumbling and crying in his arms. Giving him the perfect opportunity to manipulate you again. Would the same thing happen with Steve? Who could be extremely charming and angelic when he wanted to be? You hoped not…

Turns out you don’t have to wonder that for too long. Because as you walk up to your dorm building after parting ways with Sharon, you see Steve sitting on the stairs of the entrance. He stands up quickly when he spots you, and your heartbeat quickens. Oh no, why was he here!?

“I didn’t mean to ambush you,” Steve calls out when you stop dead in your tracks a few feet away from him. “But you wouldn’t return any of my calls.” He starts making his way over to you, and you remain frozen in place. Despite every cell in your body screaming for you to run.

“Please, stay away from me.” You mumble.

Steve stops short, holding his hands up defensively, “I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to apologise.” His face softens, and you notice how he’s got a bit of facial hair now, like he hasn’t shaved since you last saw him. His hair looks scruffier too. He’s also got dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept. In fact, in his black hoodie (the hood up) and black sweats, he looks about as depressed as you feel.

“Sorry, I’m not interested in your apology.” You stick your nose up and resume walking, trying your hardest to follow Sharon’s advice and be the stone-faced ice queen who didn’t let anything phase her.

Steve, of course, follows you up the steps and into your building.

“I wasn’t thinking straight that day in my bedroom. Sometimes I get like that.”

“I don’t care.” You try to sound nonchalant, but now you’re a bit scared. What if he followed you all the way up to your room? Forced his way inside? Locked the door and had his way with you like how he’d tried to last time? There was no Kira here to pacify him, either… Abruptly, you turn around, trying to keep your voice from shaking, “Steve, please don’t follow me inside.”

He bites his lip, looking every bit as handsome as he always did. Which sucked, because he deserved to have somehow become ugly after how horrible he’d been the last time you’d seen him. But no such luck, he still looked angelic. A bit dark and twisted and scruffy, but angelic nevertheless.

“But I need to explain to you why I acted the way I did.”

A bitter chuckle forces itself out your mouth, fear momentarily forgotten. “I know why you acted the way you did. You wanted sex, and you thought I was so naïve and easy, that I would easily provide it for you. And when I didn’t, you lost it.

“No, that’s not it at all!”

You jump at his tone, but try to keep your expression unfazed. “Well, I don’t care and I’m not interested.”

He clenches his fists, his jaw tensing too. But he relaxes when he notices the way your eyes widen in fear, and how you take a few steps back.

“Please, fuck, just don’t be scared of me.” He holds his hands up defensively again, and this time, you notice one of them is bandaged up. The one he punched the wall with. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“No, you already did that, Steve.” You turn back around and continue walking up to your dorm room, trying so hard to appear nonchalant.

“I’m not the best at controlling my emotions, okay?” He calls out behind you, and the steady patter of his footsteps reveals he’s still following you as you go up the stairs of your building. “My parents, they’ve made me see a bunch of doctors for it, and lately I’ve been able to cope but I’ll admit, something inside me snapped that day, and I took it out on you when I shouldn’t have, and–”

 “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID I’M NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY!” You reach your door before angrily whipping around, “Just leave me alone, alright? I don’t care if you’re sorry, it doesn’t take back the fact that you lied and made it seem like you wanted to date me when really all you wanted was sex! Not to mention, all the vile things you said and how scary you got. Now just leave me the fuck alone!”

Quickly, you slip inside your room and slam your door shut, locking it at lightning speed. Steve calls out your name, he knocks, he rattles your doorknob. And all you do is lean against the door, breathing fast and willing yourself not to cry. It was okay, he wouldn’t hurt you. There was a locked door between the two of you.

“(Y/N), please. Just give me another chance,” Steve knocks again, “I know I acted like a complete asshole, okay? I knew it the second I snapped out of it. And I really didn’t mean to say all those things.”

You feel that sudden flash of anger again. Bolting through you like lightning. After everything he’d said to you, after he’d forced himself on you… The best he could come up with was “I was an asshole and I didn’t mean it,”!? No, you couldn’t let him get off that easily. There were things that needed explaining and questions that needed to be answered.

Before you can think better of it, you throw the door back open. Of course, he’s still standing there, and you muster up the toughest, most ice queen-esque expression you can possibly make.

“Fine. We can talk.” You fold your arms over your chest, “But you need to answer me honestly. So don’t try to lie or manipulate me.”

Steve nods immediately, “Okay. Thank you.” He steps forward, as if he’s trying to get into your room. You quickly raise a hand up.

“No. Out here.” You don’t feel comfortable being in a bedroom alone with him. You take a deep breath, “You said that I spread your legs for you the night of the party. What did we do? And don’t lie.”

“We hooked up.” Steve meets your steely gaze evenly, before shaking his hoodie off his head and running a hand through his scruffy hair. It’s gotten long enough that the ends are starting to curl up, kind of like how Ari’s do – not that that was relevant at all right now. “In the cab when I was taking you home. We didn’t have sex, but we hooked up and I got you off.”

You wrack your brain, willing yourself to remember that night. But all you can muster up are fragmented pieces of memory. In the car with him, and you remembered how good he’d smelled. You remember his varsity jacket, and how it had somehow ended up around your shoulders. But… what else? Oh! You remember being in his lap, you remember the car hitting some bumps, and… Oh.

You nod slowly, “So then why did you lie? At the practice game, when you could’ve mentioned what happened?”

Steve exhales, “I did, but you were all confused. I thought you’d remember, but when I realised you didn’t, I just… Well, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I just… didn’t.”

For a guy who was so hell bent on explaining things to you, his explanations sure did suck.

You laugh bitterly, “No, you were too busy flaunting me in front of Ari’s face during that practice.” God, how could you have been so stupid!?

“Look, I said I’d answer everything and tell you the whole truth,” He shifts from one foot to the other, scratching his neck as if debating whether to say what he’s about to say, “And yes, I’ll admit that a part of me was using you to get to Ari.”

It feels like a punch to your gut. You’d suspected it, but the fact that he was so readily confirming it made it all the worse. With just a few words, Steve had confirmed all your insecurities. Not only did he not want to date you, not only was he just using you for sex… Oh no, as if that wasn’t enough, he’d also been using you as a pawn in whatever sick, longstanding rivalry he had with Ari.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…

“Please don’t cry,” Steve steps forward, closing the gap between the two of you. And you’re so distraught by the bomb he’s dropped on you, that you don’t even try to run away from him. Instead, you lean against the door, breathing heavily, trying to keep your tears at bay.

He continues, “This is me being honest, alright? Something Ari never is with you. And yes, I wanted him to be jealous, I wanted to get a rise out of him, so I flaunted you in front of him. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you. I still care about you.”

“How can you possibly say you care about me after everything you’ve just admitted?” You manage to get out as you try to get your breathing back into order.

“Because I do care! I think I’d know what I’m feeling better than you would!” He’s growing visibly frustrated. “Fuck, sorry. I’m so bad at explaining shit.” He smacks his forehead hard several times and yet you don’t even have it in you to flinch.

“Goddamit, look, I’ll start from the beginning.” He takes a few, gulping breaths. “When I first saw you at the party, it had nothing to do with Ari, I didn’t even know that you knew him. I approached you that night because you looked cute and lost, and I liked how feisty and sweet you were–”

“That’s a lie!” You wipe at your eyes roughly, “That’s a fucking lie, Steve. Aren’t you forgetting what you said last time you saw me? You knew what Ari and I did that night, you called me a slut for spreading my legs for him in the middle of a party! And you expected I’d do the same for you.”

“No, that’s not it at all!”

He gulps as if trying to get his breathing even once more, and you realise that’s his way of calming himself down. And you can tell that he’s trying, that he’s trying so hard not to have a meltdown like last time, and you just look at him apprehensively. You know you could back away at any moment, slam the door in his face again and lock it and be done with him. And yet, your feet remain planted in place, as if a part of you just has to hear him out.

“I’m sorry I called you a slut. It’s all a big fucking blank in my head, like I blacked out and said all those things. And I never saw you and Ari fucking at the party or anything like that. I only found that out days later through the grapevine. But I shouldn’t have used it against you, that was wrong of me. I’m sorry I fucked it all up by saying that. You didn’t deserve it.”

You shake your head but he hurriedly continues, “I was always going to ask you out, Ari or no Ari. It’s only when I saw how jealous he got when he saw you with me, that I realised how much he liked you. That he liked you more than he liked his own girlfriend. That’s when I realised I could be with you and get back at him at the same time.”

Get back at him!? For what? Did you even care, at this point?

Anger. Fear. Confusion. Pure fucking discombobulation. That’s what you feel. So much so, that you don’t even know what to say or how to act.

Steve takes your lack of response as his cue, moving forward and reach out to cup the side of your face slowly. And you fucking hate how soft and warm his hand feels, how it’s bigger than your whole head yet feels gentle at the same time. Gentle, when the last time he’d had his hands on you, he’d been holding you down on his bed while he tried to force himself on you.

“But I like you too,” Steve says quietly, almost like a whisper, “I like you more than he ever could. And whenever I like something, whenever I have something good in my life, I always fuck it up. But this time, for once in my life I want to make things right.”

“I kept telling you to stop,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut as the memories from that night barge their way back into your head. “Y-You ripped my dress.”

“I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

“You wouldn’t stop, Steve. It’s like you weren’t there, like something came over you and you weren’t there anymore.”

He nods fervently, his fingers stroking your cheek, “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I can’t help that I’m like this, I really fucking wish I could be normal and react normally to things like how other people do. I wish it more than anything in the fucking world.”

It’s like he’s a completely different man from the one you’d first met and thought you knew. The man who’d been so shrouded in mystery, oozing with confidence and charm. His intense aura, the smoothness with how he’d spoken to you in the past. But in this moment, it’s like all of that had melted away. And here he was, stripped back. Rough round the edges with bags under his eyes, an earnest look on his face. And this time when you look into his eyes, for a moment it’s like you really see him; you see someone fighting to be normal, desperate for another chance. Oh, should you…?

And then you blink. And there it is again: Steve, the very same man, saying all those vile things to you. All because you wouldn’t fuck him. Him ripping your dress, him holding you down. Him losing his temper. Him punching the wall. The way he’d held you so hard, not letting you leave. That dark, faraway look in his eyes. How scared you’d been… And here you were, letting him cup your face and speak all tenderly with you!?

What if he got like that again?

It’s like a lash of electricity jolts through you. You push Steve away hard.

“Listen to me carefully, Steve, because I’m not gonna say this again. You’re not who I thought you were. You lied about what happened on the night we met, and you lied about your intentions with me. It doesn’t matter if you say you wanted to date me, because your past actions speak louder than whatever words you’re saying now.” You take a deep breath, “That’s why I want you to leave me alone. Forever. Just walk out right now and never look back. Because I’m done with you. And I really, truly mean it.”

He freezes, an unreadable expression on his face. A myriad of emotions flitter through his eyes. Shock, sadness, anger. Disbelief. Resignation. And then…

“And what about Ari?” He says quietly, “You’re choosing him?”

“No, I–”

Steve spits out a bitter laugh, as if he wasn’t gently cupping your face and promising you everything just five seconds ago.

“You don’t know him, (Y/N). Okay fine, I wasn’t completely honest with you and I guess that means I’ve fucked things up between us forever. But you think Ari hasn’t lied to you?”

“I know he’s lied–”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!” Out of nowhere, he raises his voice. And it cuts you like a sword, reverberating off the walls. You flinch at the booming loudness of his words, the aggressiveness back on his angelic face and now he’s scaring you again. “You don’t know what he’s done, okay!?”

“You’re scaring me.”

You try to say it calmly, but your voice breaks right at the end. Steve blinks rapidly, several times. Breathing hard, he looks down at his fingers which are enclosed tightly around your arm. Just like that day in his room. Like a hot poker, he drops it immediately. And again, it’s like he’s waking up from some sort of a momentary trance. Or rather, a momentary wave of anger.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats in a low tone, “but if you knew the things he’s done, you wouldn’t have picked him–”

“I HAVEN’T PICKED HIM!” It’s your turn to explode. “I didn’t pick him, Steve. This isn’t about picking anyone. I’m done with you, and I’m done with Ari too. I’m picking neither of you. Goodbye.”

You turn around and slam your door shut before he can get another word out.

***

“It’s like, a fundraising gala type thing held at the Hilton. The money raised gets split down the middle, half going towards the basketball team and half towards the cheerleaders,” Sharon explains, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around her finger. “Which, by the way, I think is totally lame, because the basketball team doesn’t even need any more funding. Unlike the cheerleaders.”

She swivels around in your desk chair, her sock clad feet waving around in the air. Outside, the sun sparkles and a gentle breeze flows in through your window. The weather had been great lately, as if the atmosphere knew you’d finished the final chapter of the Ari and Steve saga and closed the book on both of them. As if nature itself was willing you to go outside and begin your new chapter, one where you were sexy and single and thriving.

So then why could you still not find it in you to step outside of your room on most days?

“I’ve been on the planning and decorating committee for the Athletic Society’s Annual Gala for the past two years,” Sharon continues, “it’s like, one of the biggest events of the year. All these important sports execs and school alumni show up, not to mention half the college. Wanda, I’m guessing you’re going with Curtis, right?”

“Huh?” Wanda glances up from her phone for a split second, looking as if she has not the slightest clue what Sharon is on about. Burying her nose back into her screen, her acrylics start tapping ferociously. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess who she’s texting. In fact, you were surprised when she’d showed up alongside Sharon outside your dorm room this morning. It was very hard to pin down Wanda lately, since all her time was devoted to her boyfriend.

Sharon raises an eyebrow before shifting her attention back to you, “Well anyways, I think this would be a great opportunity for you to get out of your funk, Y/N. We could go together! As friends, obviously.” She adds hastily.

You manage to muster up a smile, “I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on! It’s been weeks since you ended things with Steve!” Sharon says, and you no longer shiver when his name is mentioned. It’s like the last confrontation you had with him cleared up the fog in your head a little bit. It still depressed you to the core, to know that you’d been used, but at least you didn’t flinch at his name anymore. That was something.

He’d also stopped texting you at all anymore. Which you should be happy about, and yet you still found yourself looking at your chat with him. God, what was wrong with you!? He’d finally left you alone just like how you’d wanted him to, and yet a part of you still felt like it was yearning for him.

“And I know how much you love dressing up and doing your makeup. Hey, we could even go shopping together for dresses!” The blonde claps her hands, clearly unaware of your current inner turmoil as she works herself up into a frenzy.

“We could make it into a proper girl’s night,” She sits on the other end of your bed with a bounce, “Hey, Wanda, why don’t you get ready with us too? You could always just meet Curtis there.”

Wanda scoffs, “Uh, no. I think I’ll go with my boyfriend, thank you very much.”

Sharon rolls her eyes, “Ugh. Fuck boyfriends. I was gonna go with Ari, but that’s obviously not happening anymore. Plus, a girl’s night sounds a lot more fun.”

Your poor, gullible, traitorous heart jolts. “Ari’s gonna be there?”

Unlike Steve, Ari was still texting you and trying to somehow see you in person. You’d successfully avoided him since the supply closet meeting. And yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about him either. God, were you just incapable of not thinking about the two fuckboys who had fucked your entire life up!?

“Yep, but it won’t bother me, I promise.” Sharon says determinedly, “The banquet hall is huge, so I’ll easily just avoid him. He’s probably gonna be super busy, anyways. Word has it that they’re giving him the Basketball MVP award this year.”

“Oh,” you breathe, before quickly clearing your throat, “I don’t know, Sharon. It sounds like fun, but–”

“Curtis says that he’s going to the gala with the basketball team, and that no one else is bringing dates,” Wanda interrupts you as she reads the latest text from her boyfriend. Finally, she looks up, “I guess I’ll go with you girls, then.”

“Great!” Sharon cheers, “You’re in too, right, Y/N?”

You smile, not really knowing what to say. Being in the same banquet hall as Ari and Sharon? At the same time? That was just trouble waiting to happen.

But is this how you were going to spend the rest of the college year? Letting your feelings towards Ari dictate where you went and didn’t go? You think about the old you, the one before Ari or Steve or anyone. The one who loved to dress up and go out to have fun. Before Wanda had got a boyfriend, the two of you used to go out all the time. Another girls’ night wouldn’t harm anyone, would it?

Sharon senses your hesitation, “Come on,” she urges, “It’s not like Steve’s even gonna be there. It’s strictly a St. Andrews’ event.”

You bite your lip. You doubted you’d ever see Steve again. Clearly, since he no longer texted you either. And a part of you is bittersweet as you think about what could have been. Absentmindedly, your eyes divert to your desk chair, where his blue and white varsity jacket still lies. You hadn’t even thought to throw it away. You bet it still smells like him…

Oh God, you had to get over him. Get over both of them and get the fuck out of this funk you were in. So what if Ari would be there too? This was your chance to prove to yourself that his presence didn’t make a difference in how you lived your life.

You take a deep breath, “Okay. I’ll go.”

***

 PART II

“Open up, sleepyhead. I’m not leaving and I’ll camp outside your door if you don’t open it.”

You’d woken up the next day to a loud knocking on your door. And you’d tried to ignore him. You really had. It was so much easier to just remain in bed, rotting and feeling sorry for yourself despite the promise you’d made yourself to get over the two men who’d betrayed your trust, and get out of the funk you were in. But the knocking was incessant, going from soft-knuckled raps to full on banging. You were sure he’d wake up your entire building, and then you’d have to pay a noise fine.

That’s why I’m opening the door, you think to yourself. Not because I actually want to see him.

And there’s Ari, standing outside your door with a picnic basket under his arm. And he looks kind of funny, his big athletic self holding such a dainty little thing. He also looks extremely pleased with himself, and you don’t even have the energy within you to argue with him or tell him to leave. You and him had gone non-contact ever since the confrontation inside the supply closet. Or rather, you’d gone non-contact whilst Ari tried to find ways to talk to you. He couldn’t corner you on campus anymore because you were usually with Sharon, and you’d changed your locks so he couldn’t exactly barge into your dorm room like how he used to.

“Go away, Ari.”

“Hey, nice to see you too. I come bearing food, because I know you haven’t eaten. And don’t ask me how I know, I just know.” Ari says breezily, and you frown at how chipper he’s acting. As if the last time you’d seen him you hadn’t stormed away and told him the two of you could never see each other again.

He follows you inside, and you quickly swipe Steve’s varsity jacket under your desk so he doesn’t see it. You don’t know why you still haven’t thrown it out but you really can’t be bothered to get into another fight with Ari over it.

Earlier in the day, Sharon had texted you asking if you’d wanted to hang out. You’d declined, finding the comfortability of your bed and the prospect of watching old reruns of trashy reality television much more interesting. What you hadn’t expected was Ari Levinson of all people showing up at your door, however. Although, you’re not too surprised. He was still texting you nonstop, wanting to show you how he’d “changed.”

Ari plops the picnic basket on top of your desk, and you sigh, sitting down on your desk chair while he grabs a stool. You already know how this is going to go. He’d tell you to open it, you’d say no, he’d say yes, you’d say no again. Then he’d open it and make you see the contents anyways. You decide to stop wasting either of your time and look inside the basket yourself.

“Cheese sandwiches?”

“Uh huh. And don’t knock it till you try one, sweetheart. My mom makes these for me.” Ari winks before flashing you a smile. And doesn’t contain even a hint of his usual cockiness or smugness – it’s just a regular little smile that makes his eyes light up all pretty too. And you’re not used to it at all, it looks almost displaced on his face. Was he being genuine? You can’t even tell anymore. But probably not.

You pick one up and eye it carefully, and your heart can’t help but throb at the thought of him standing in his kitchen making it for you. Big, bad basketball captain fuckboy Ari Levinson carefully cutting the sandwich into little triangles and packing it up for you in this little picnic basket. How had Ari even gotten hold of a picnic basket to begin with?

“So, it’s a family recipe?” You take a cautious bite.

“Yep. Passed down from generation to generation. Don’t ask me how you make it because it’s a Levinson family secret,” he grabs a sandwich of his own and wolfs it down in two bites, “I mean, you could always become a Levinson yourself and have my kid, then I’d tell you.”

Your cheeks heat up. Oh, a few weeks ago he didn’t even want a relationship with you and now he was joking about marriage and kids?! Would you ever understand him?

“It must be some recipe,” you remark, trying your best to keep your tone even and unamused. Instead of looking at him, you observe the sandwich. It tastes good – he’s used some type of expensive artisan bread and fancy cheese. A step above your average grilled cheese, and it tastes even better on an empty stomach since he was right, you hadn’t eaten anything since last night.

“It is. Have another one,” he thrusts another sandwich in your hand.

Your frown, “Ari, stop, I don’t want–”

“You haven’t eaten all day, (Y/N).” His tone drops, growing more serious.

“Well, stop acting like you care!” You shoot back.

But Ari looks unperturbed as he helps himself to a third sandwich (he was going through them remarkably fast), “I do care.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I fucking do,” he says, the slight sharpness in his voice taking you aback. “What other girl have I cooked for and lugged a fucking picnic basket halfway across campus for?”

You settle back begrudgingly, taking another bite out of the sandwich, “I’d hardly call this cooking.”

You know you sound mean and bitter, but it’s like you can’t help it. Like there’s a deep black hole filled with anger still swirling within you. Anger at both Ari and Steve and you don’t know how to sort through it or make it go away.

“Oh yeah? Well, you’ve never cooked for me so I’d say you’re hardly an expert on the subject.” Ari shoots back, grabbing another sandwich from the picnic basket as well as a can of soda. “You want a coke?”

“No.”

You start tearing your sandwich into tiny pieces just so you have something else to focus on and you don’t have to look at his face. Because you’re afraid this newfound earnesty of his, afraid it would reel you back in hook, line and sinker. Afraid he was just putting on an act to convince you he’d “changed.” That’s also why you’re being cold – you can’t let your walls down with him again. Not this time. Not when Sharon was literally your friend now.

“So, I was thinking we could catch a movie after we eat,” Ari continues talking all casually as if the majority of the conversation so far hasn’t been extremely one-sided. “Have you seen the new Godzilla vs Kong? Probably not, you’re not into stuff like that.” He pauses only to consume his sandwich in two huge bites, before grabbing another one. His voracious appetite almost makes you smile. Almost. The only other times you’d seen him look this starved was when he was going down on you…

No, stop! Don’t think about that!

“Sure, we could watch some girly movie instead, but you’d have to pick it because I have no idea about shit like that, obviously–”

“I told you; we can’t go anywhere that Sharon or someone might see us. Besides, the last thing I want to do is go out with you. In fact, you can show yourself out now because I’m gonna go back to bed–”

Ari slams his coke can down on your desk with a loud clunk. You jump, before narrowing your eyes at him. First, he practically broke into your room, then forced you to eat his dumb sandwiches. Now he was making obnoxious noises? Oh, you were just about done with him–

“That’s it.” he grunts, standing up to his full height. You gape up at him, suddenly nervous. You barely have the chance to yelp before he grabs your arm, yanking you up with him.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”

He lifts you up off the ground with ease, throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You start pounding on his back immediately, but you only hear him snort in return.

“Put me down right now, Ari! I’m not in the mood for this! Put me down!”

“I gave you a pass to be a little sassy, but you need to remember who’s in charge.” He starts walking across the room. And you may as well have been an insect on his back with how unbothered he was by you wiggling and trying to fight out of his grip. Oh god, what was he going to do?!

Panic bubbles up in your chest, your heartrate increasing tenfold in about five seconds flat. You struggle harder against him, before realising there’s no use. He was way too strong. You shut your eyes and brace yourself; any moment now he’d throw you on the bed and have his way with you just like he always did, just like how Steve had tried to do, and you’d be powerless to stop him because you couldn’t stop anyone, and they all just wanted one thing, and–

“Please don’t,” you whisper, on the verge of tears, “Please, I can’t have sex. I don’t want to have sex, please don’t make me. Please, please don’t make me.”

Ari freezes, and you wish you could see his expression but in your current predicament, dangling over his shoulder, you cannot. But then he starts walking again, and he goes straight past your bed. That’s when you notice the picnic basket in his other hand.

“I’m not trying to sleep with you.” He mutters.

Oh. But then what was he doing?

You get your answer less than a moment later, when he swings your door open and carries you outside. That’s when you start punching his back again.

“Ari, take me back inside! I’m serious, okay? Someone’s gonna see–”

“Then I suggest you stop making so much noise that’s gonna attract attention towards us.” He shoots back, giving you a reprimanding pat on your thigh. Not your ass, you note, but your thigh. Immediately, you shut up. But you fix a scowl on your face, vowing you’d keep it there permanently until he could see it.

A minute later, he dumps you unceremoniously into the passenger seat of his car. By the time you scramble into sitting position, he’s already in the driver’s seat. The doors, predictably, are locked.

“So, it wasn’t enough that you barged into my dorm room uninvited. You felt the need to kidnap me, too?” You snap, irritated yet at the same time slightly amused. But you can’t let him know that. No, you had to maintain your ice queen persona.

“Please,” Ari snorts, starting up the car. “You were talking about going back to bed. If anything, I’m doing you a favour. It’s a nice day, sweetheart, let the sun shine on your face for a few hours.”

You deepen your scowl, crossing your arms over your chest, “I’m not going outside.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m literally not, Ari. Because you didn’t even think to let me put my shoes on.” You wiggle your bare toes, suddenly feeling the strong urge to smile at the ridiculousness of your whole predicament. But you pout to cover it up, suppressing whatever amusement you’re feeling because you don’t want him to see.

“Don’t fucking pout, it makes me want to kiss you.” Ari murmurs, keeping his eyes on the road but you can see him licking his lips.

“Don’t.”

“Did I say I was going to? I said I want to. There’s a difference.”

Again, you want to smile. You quickly turn your head away, looking out the window instead, watching the trees and buildings roll by as he drives you out of campus. “Whatever, just stay away from me.”

“Don’t be a brat.” There’s a warning edge to his tone, one that you’ve come to know very well. But surprisingly, you don’t feel unsafe. For once, you feel like maybe he won’t just stop the car in the middle of nowhere and try to fuck you.

You’ve been in Ari’s car before, and you’re no stranger to how it always goes when you’re in here. Back in the early days of you two hooking up, he’d pick you up in the dead of the night. And you were so innocent, you’d think of these midnight drives as romantic, magical even. He’d have a cigarette in his mouth, his long hair either slicked back or flowing in the cool night air. A wild look in his eyes as he’d pull you inside and kiss you headily while still trying to focus on the road. And he’d have one hand on your thigh, squeezing it before pushing his fingers between your legs.

In his hazy, smoke-filled car, you’d always find yourself underneath him. Splayed out in his backseat while he licked his lips and loomed above you. His dark silhouette so handsome, and you remember thinking how he was such a bad boy, and you were such a good girl, and how hot it was. He’d tell you how much he loved the tight little skirts you always wore, and yet he’d always rip them in half and then laugh and kiss you when you pouted. Tell you how he’d been waiting all day to fuck you, how he just couldn’t wait now that he had you, that he’d been thinking about you and him, that he just had to have you now.

You remember feeling like such a little girl compared to him. Ari was a senior after all, and you only a freshman. Once, you’d tried to impress him by wearing red lipstick. That night, he’d pulled you over the console and made you suck his dick. Till your red lip prints were all over his fat cock, and he’d told you how you were such a good girl, and he loved how cute you were, and that he knew you were trying to impress him.

 All those nights in his car, and you remember each time you’d ask him if he’d broken up with Sharon, and each time he’d tell you that he was “working on it.” That he didn’t see a future with her, that you were so much more special. “I can’t stop thinking about you and I,” he’d say, blue eyes dreamy and you thought he sounded so earnest. And eagerly you’d say the same, excited that someone like him could ever be that interested in someone like you.

And then he’d push you into the backseat, or he’d stay in the driver’s seat and pull you into his lap. Or sometimes, if the place you were parked at was secluded enough, he would take you on the hood of his car. Fuck you in every way imaginable, use your body for his pleasure whilst also giving you the most intense pleasure you’d ever felt. And sometimes, the moonlight would reflect off his eyes and make him look like something so special, and you’d feel so special, and you’d feel like you were in a movie. You still remember it now.

You doubt Ari does, though. You doubt those nights were ever special to him.

“Where are we?” You ask fifteen minutes later when he pulls up somewhere. You peer out the window and see trees – a bunch of them. He’s parked in a clearing, only a single dirt road leading up to it and the rest of the area covered in a thick forest of trees. The sun sparkles through the leaves, and you can hear birds chirping louder than you ever do back in the city. “Are we in the woods?”

“Yep.” He’s out of the car in an instant, grabbing the picnic backet which he’d thrown haphazardly into the backseat before making his way to your door. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“If you think I’m going to hike out into the woods barefoot–”

Ari scoffs, “Don’t worry your pedicured little feet off, princess,” he turns around, “Hop on.”

You eye him carefully, as if you’re assessing a threat. Going into the woods with Ari of all people may not be the best of gameplans for someone who was actively trying to avoid men in general. When Steve had forced himself on you, it had been in his room and luckily Kira had been nearby. The secluded woods, however, were a completely different story.

And yet, it’s like you know deep down that Ari won’t do anything. Not this time. Then again, you’ve been wrong about him before. Were you being naïve all over again?

Maybe you were, but you hop on to his back anyways. His muscular arms catch you easily as you wind your legs around his waist. Your arms lock around his neck and you nestle close to him instinctively. So close that you can smell his grape shampoo, and you admire how pretty his hair is, how it curls up slightly at the base of his neck like he’s a movie star or something.

You hate how you’re still so attracted to him.

He gives you a piggyback ride all the way into the woods, and it’s kind of neat being up so high. Ari was so tall, and with you on his back you felt like you were six foot six inches too. So this is what he sees, you think to yourself, finally indulging in the nature that surrounds the two of you. The way the oak trees soar up as high as skyscrapers, how the smaller trees sway with the breeze. The rustling of the leaves, and you think you hear a distant trickling of water, too.

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” Ari breaks the comfortable silence, continuing to trek forward into the woods.

You’re about to heartily agree, before you remember the cold persona you’re meant to be adopting with him. So, in the dullest, most bored and nonchalant voice you can muster up, you say: “It’s whatever, I guess.”

He snorts.

You frown, “Are you laughing at me?”

“Nope.” He sounds amused.

“Yes, you are!”

“Well, it’s cute how you’re trying so hard to be something you’re clearly not.”

You’re thankful that he can’t see the way your jaw drops open, “And what exactly do you think I’m trying to be?”

He shrugs, inadvertently bouncing you up and down on his back.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I like this sassy side of you. Especially since I know you’re still the same naïve little baby on the inside.” He looks back at you, and you catch a glimpse of his glittering eyes, framed by those impossibly long eyelashes.

“I am not!”

Ari chuckles, “You can act as tough as you want, it amuses me how cute you look when you do it.”

You scowl, despite the fact that his constant flirting was starting to thaw you from the inside out, making your cheeks burn and your mind feel more muddled than ever. What was the truth and what was a manipulation? This was him just trying to win you over so he could fuck you, right?? Or maybe, maybe he genuinely liked you… Maybe–

You forcibly make yourself scowl again, “Fuck you.”

“Say that again and I’ll drop you,” He threatens.

“Don’t you dare!” You squeal, winding your arms tighter around his neck, almost choking him.

He snickers as if he’s cracked the funniest joke in the world, before continuing to walk. The two of you settle into another spell of comfortable silence. You take in all the bushes full of wild berries, the pretty flowers that are luckily in full bloom, scenting the air with a sweet fragrance that tickles your nostrils pleasantly. Another gentle breeze has you relaxing more against Ari, and you’re almost about to nuzzle your face against his strong shoulder before you catch yourself and freeze.

“I discovered this place last year,” Ari announces five minutes later, gently setting you down on a patch of vibrant grass. To your delight, only a few feet away from you is a stream! The water flows and sparkles in the afternoon sunlight, rushing over rocks and plants and making a pleasant trickling sound that has an oddly calming effect on you. And the grass feels nice against your toes, so much so that you don’t even mind your bare feet on the ground.

You don’t say anything, just watching as Ari settles down beside you with the picnic basket. You stretch your limbs out, secretly happy that he brought you out here, that you didn’t spend another day rotting in bed.

“I found this place last year,” Ari repeats, “A few of us were camping nearby and I hiked out further away to see if I could get cell reception. That’s when I found this place.” He leans back, lying down completely with his arms crossed behind his head, “It’s nice and private here, huh?”

A thought enters your head, jolting you down to the core, “Private? So, this where you brought Sharon? Or your other hookups?”

“No. You’re the first person I’ve ever brought here.”

The straightforwardness of his answer jars you, and you find you have no quip or jab to respond with. Instead, hesitantly, you lie down too. A few inches away from him, but he makes no move to grab you or pull you closer. A large part of you is relieved, but you want to strangle the tiny part of you that’s disappointed that he’s not touched you.

“It’s nice.” You say finally.

“Yeah, I come here sometimes. To admire the nature or whatever.”

That makes you pause, and you look at him incredulously. He’s lying there with his eyes closed, yet he’s got a completely straight face.

“You? Admiring nature?”

Ari scoffs, “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes, actually.” You can’t imagine Ari of all people, who only cared about basketball, partying and sex, to be one with nature. Unless it was weed. “What aspect fascinated you the most?”

There’s a long beat of silence.

“I don’t know, the plants and shit?”

You can’t help but burst out laughing. And it feels good, to just let go and laugh for a bit. To just forget about how shitty you feel and just laugh. Even if it’s just for a moment, to just forget about how awful Ari’s been to you in the past, how awful Steve turned out to be too, just forget it all and allow yourself to laugh. And you can’t even remember the last time you laughed.

“Haha, very funny,” Ari rolls his eyes, but you can see the slight smile playing on his lips before he clears his throat. “Alright fine, I couldn’t give a fuck about nature. But I do like this place, it’s good for when I need to think.” He hesitates, “When I was dating Sharon, I felt like I never had the space to really think, and so I’d come here.”

You cease your laughter immediately at the mention of her name. Now that you were friends with Sharon, it made it a lot harder to talk about her with Ari. Because now, she was actually a person to you rather than some distant illusion that you tried not to think about. And it wasn’t her fault that Ari felt he couldn’t think with her around. She wasn’t the villain here, Ari was.

You clear your throat, heart suddenly beating very fast. “C-Could I ask you a question? And please don’t lie, okay? Just be honest with me, Ari. For once.”

He nods, not saying anything else.

“Were there others?” You ask hushedly, your tone wavering slightly as you voice the thought you’ve never wanted to speak into existence, never even dared to wonder about. “Was I just one of many girls that you were cheating on her with?”

Ari sits up, rubbing his temple. You watch him carefully, watch how his eyes scrunch shut before opening. He blinks several times, his lips pressed into a thin line before they part and he exhales slowly. Then, he turns your way, looking you dead in the eye.

“No. There were other girls before you, but once I slept with you, it was only you from then on out.”

“Yeah, me and Sharon.” You say bitterly, although the guilt is eating you up inside. You feel guilty for even feeling hurt or bitter, because he was never yours to begin with. Sharon was the girlfriend – she had every right to feel hurt and bitter. You? You were just the other woman. All you should be feeling was guilt and shame. Especially since here you were, out alone with him again when you’d vowed yourself you wouldn’t do this.

You sit back up too, and he makes a move to grab your hand but you shuffle away quickly. You hug your knees, resting your chin against them as you huddle into yourself. You can feel his gaze penetrating holes into you, but you only focus on the steady flow of water in the stream.

“Even with Sharon, it didn’t feel right sleeping with her. Not after I’d been with you.”

 “Then why didn’t you break up with her?” Your voice breaks at the last second, and you turn away from him so he can’t see the lone tear that trails down one side of your face. Just a second ago you’d been laughing and now here you were, crying over the same question that had plagued your mind for months. The question that had been beaten to death, and yet you knew you’d never get a straight up, honest response.

Ari sighs, and you hear him moving closer to you. A second later, he takes hold of your chin, gently turning your face back to him.

“Hey, listen to me. I was an asshole, okay?” He sucks in a breath, closing his eye again for a handful of seconds. You want to look away but you can’t help but watch him, watch as he breathes, watch as he finally opens his mouth again. “Before you came along, I was this guy… This hotshot guy who could do whatever and everyone would just worship the ground I walked on. And, well, I guess I thrived on that. I liked how easily I could use women. I knew I had a girlfriend but I liked how I could get any girl to sleep with me–”

“I don’t want to hear this,” you mumble, pushing away from him.

“No, wait, I’m just trying to explain myself.” He runs a hand through his mane impatiently, “Look, I’ll admit it. All those times I strung you along, it was to feed my own ego. For a while, it felt like I was on top of the world, like I had two girls and neither of them knew any better, and–”

“Stop telling me this,” your voice hitches, more tears rolling down your cheeks.

“I was being a fucking asshole, that’s what I’m trying to say!” Ari grabs your hand as if to stop you from running away, a note of frustration in his tone. Or was it desperation? “I’ve never been good with voicing my feelings and all of that shit, but that’s what I’m trying to do right now. When I saw you with Steve, it’s like he was taking my girl, taking away everything I’ve always wanted. The night of the party, and then again at the game, when I saw you with him… It got me so fucking heated, and I’d never felt like that before. It felt like I was wasting my time in a relationship I clearly didn’t want to be in, and he was moving in on the girl I did want to be with.”

You look up at him, breathing heavily yet not daring to say a word.

“I’m sorry for lying to you, I’m sorry for using you. I’m sorry that it took you being with someone else for me to finally wake up and realise you’re the only one I’ve wanted this whole time.” His hand slips up to cup your cheek, and it’s like you’re frozen. You don’t know if you want to stop him or if you want to lean into his touch. You don’t know if this moment is even real. If this stream is real or if the woods are real or if Ari is real or if he really is saying everything you’ve ever wanted him to say.

“Why couldn’t you have said all this before?” You say shakily, afraid to look him in the eyes in case you see anything other than sincerity, in case you see even an inkling, even the tiniest spark of a hint that he was manipulating you.

“I was immature.” He continues to wipe your tears, before making you look up at him. “I was just so wrapped up in being the guy who could have any girl I wanted, but I promise you I’ve grown out of that now.”

“Really?” Your voice comes out so small, filled with hope mixed with a bit of hesitance.

Ari nods, “You said before that people don’t change overnight. But if you let me show you, I’ll prove to you that I have. And that I’m serious about us.”

Ice queen persona be damned. You feel more tears well up in your eyes. “Y-You are?”

“Yes. I wasn’t going to mention this but…” He runs a hand through his hair, brushing back a wayward lock that flops over his forehead, before taking hold of your hand, “There was an NBA scout at the last game. He said they want to sign me, that a lot of teams are eyeing me as a draft pick.”

Oh. The NBA. That put everything into perspective for you. He wasn’t like you, with three and a half years of college ahead of you. No, he was almost done… And then he’d be gone. You’re happy for him – the NBA was a huge deal after all. But you also feel a little sick, like time’s going by too quickly, like maybe you’re not ready to let go yet after all.

Your mind also briefly flits to Steve. Had he been approached by an NBA scout too? You think back to when you’d last seen him, outside your dorm room with the dark circles under his eyes, the withdrawn look on his face. He didn’t look like someone who’d just been scouted by the NBA. Oh God, were you feeling bad for him now?!

“Congratulations.” You say slowly, not really knowing how to feel. Suddenly, you’re hyper aware of Ari holding your hand, and now it’s like you don’t want him to let go.

“The reason I’m telling you this is because I have it all planned out. Our future.” Ari continues, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen him look. “I know you’ll still be in school, but I really think we could make it work. And by the time you graduate, I’ll have made it. We could settle down together, and I’d make it all up to you. That’s how serious I am about us.”

You simply just stare at him in complete awe. Who was this man? It was like an alien from outer space had taken over Ari’s body. Because the Ari Levinson you knew was a manipulator and a cheater. A man who stayed away from commitment with a ten-foot pole, a man who had just now professed to you that he enjoyed two-timing his girlfriend because it made him feel like he was on top of the world.

And yet… And yet you’re only just a girl, and you can’t help but picture the story his words are painting for you. Just indulge yourself a little bit, just a tiny little bit… You know you’re teetering on thin ice, and you know how dangerous it is to allow yourself hope when it comes to Ari. Hadn’t he squandered your hope time and time again for all those months he never made you his girlfriend?

But you can’t help but imagine, can’t help but think maybe this time he means what he says…

“We could buy a house in the countryside?” You whisper.

Ari cracks a smile, “Sure. And you could pop out a few Levinson babies too, make cheese sandwiches for all of them.”

“I’d have to establish myself as a model or a fashion designer before that.” You say, feeling the corners of your lips twitch upwards as you dare yourself to dream.

He looks amused, “Fashion designer, yes. Model, no. Too many pervy photographers.”

“I’ll be a model if I want to be one!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No way.”

“Yes way!”

“Fine. I’ll be in the NBA and you can be a model. Maybe. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He chucks you under the chin playfully, like how he used to do all the time. And you giggle, feeling like you’re floating. Like the two of you are encased in a bubble and you’re floating and time’s standing still and just for this one moment you could pretend everything was alright and your future with him was as secure as he was making it out to be.

“And you’d never lie to me again?”

He nods, “I wouldn’t. Never again.” And then he takes a deep breath, “There’s this fundraising gala thing coming up, and I’m supposed to win an award. I’d love it if you could come with me as my date.” He says with a note of seriousness in his tone, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear.

But rather than let you answer, he instead cups your face with both hands, pressing his forehead against yours. Immediately, the smile on your face freezes, and now you can feel every pore, every muscle, every cell in your body screaming. Screaming for what? For him to kiss you? Oh God…

“Let me kiss you,” he breathes out of nowhere, sounding like he’s parched. “Please, baby. I know I’ve fucked up but I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

“Oh, Ari…”

“Please.”

You never thought you’d live to see the day where Ari Levinson was begging you for anything. It was such a stark contrast from how your relationship had begun, almost as if the tables had turned now. Were tables capable of turning that quickly? Or was this all part of an act? Oh, you’re sick of asking yourself that question! What’s real and true is that earnesty in his eyes, and you want to kiss him so bad too. So fucking bad.

He moves closer, and so do you. Inch by inch, almost like first-time lovers. His lips purse slightly, looking so warm and soft and inviting. Closer, so close that they brush against yours for a second, and you can hear him breathing and you know he can hear you too. You wonder if he can hear your heart too, hear how it beats louder for him than it does for anyone else.

“We shouldn’t…” you murmur, but your words are laced with doubt. Just one kiss, your mind cajoles you, just one kiss won’t hurt.

There’s a gentle breeze around the two of you, swirling softly. Rustling through his hair, feeling cool against your face. Encasing the two of you in a private whirlpool where it’s just you two, and the sound of the stream, and the beat of your hearts.

“I know, but I want to so bad,” Ari’s hands are cupping your face so tenderly, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones as he slowly angles your face upwards. “Please, let me kiss you. Just once.”

It’s like the breeze jostles you forward, as if the universe wants you to kiss him. Your willpower’s hanging on by just a thread, your mind swarming with memories of every time you and him had kissed in the past. How magical it had felt for you, how it felt like you could never find someone who’d kiss you like that again. Oh, fuck your willpower!

He surges forward one last time, but his lips have barely touched yours before you pull away, turning your head to the side. Breathing hard, the anticipation still burning through your body in waves. Heart beating like crazy, and yet you swallow and shake your head.

“Ari, we can’t,” you force yourself to say firmly.

Ari sits back, looking slightly dazed and yet running a hand through his hair in frustration. For a second, you wonder if he’ll be mad, call you a tease for leading him on. Call you a slut, tell you how the least you could do was kiss him in return for all he’d done for you today. But he just sighs thoughtfully.

“Not until I come clean to Sharon about everything,” You explain, “And I know about the gala, Sharon told me. I-I’m actually going with her and Wanda, like a girls’ night.”

He raises an eyebrow before nodding slowly, “Well, as long as I get to see you there when I go up on stage to accept the award.”

“Yeah, but we can’t talk or interact or anything. Sharon’s my friend now, and I owe her the truth before anything more can happen between us.”

Ari gazes at you carefully, but there’s a hopeful glint in his eye. “So, it’s just the Sharon issue then. You forgive me for everything else?”

You hesitate. Well, did you? Did you forgive him for leading you on? Lying to you multiple times? Manipulating you? Leaving you drunk and high and alone in a party bathroom? God, why did he have to remind you of the asshole he’d been all this time, up until very recently? It pops the bubble your mind has created right now, the one that you and him were encased in, in this little clearing in the woods.

“I don’t know if I forgive you.” You say honestly, hoping he doesn’t question you further.

To your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, he lies back down on the grass, stretching his long limbs out to make himself comfortable. You watch him as he lazily grabs another cheese sandwich from the picnic basket, wolfing it down before offering you one. Stifling a smile, you shake your head.

Ari shrugs, “Well fine, more for me.”

And it’s later, after the two of you sit there by the stream in comfortable silence for a little while longer. After he’s piggy-backed you back to his car, and after he’s driven you back home. It’s when he’s pulling up to your building, that he puts his hand on your knee to make you look at him.

“I know you said before that nobody changes overnight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying until you see that I have.” He says firmly, his hand feeling so warm on your leg, causing heatwaves to radiate up and down your whole being. “And I know you, baby. I know you like me too. I know you want this to work out between us too. And it will. Once you tell Sharon, and we’re free to be together, everything’s gonna work out. You’ll see.”

Oh, he was so cocky! And yet, it’s a different type of cockiness than what you’ve usually come to associate with him. It’s more of an honest sincerity, this confidence that one day you’ll be his. And oh, you want to believe him! You really do! You want to believe in a perfect world where Ari proves himself to be more than just a manipulative fuckboy, a world where Sharon understands and forgives you for everything.

A world where you forget all about Steve Rogers, and never find yourself thinking about him… Thinking about what could have been.

You say nothing, not until he’s carried you back into your dorm room. Not until he’s about to leave. That’s when you speak.

“Ari?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

He looks surprised, as if he hadn’t really been expecting you to say anything at all after his whole speech. The truth was, you’d been silent for a while now, ever since the two of you had almost kissed in the woods. But there’s a newfound serenity inside you, a feeling that wasn’t there before.

“For what?” He asks, a shy little smile on his face. One you’ve never seen on him before.

For bringing me outside. For taking me to your special place. For not making a big deal out of it when I didn’t want to kiss you. For carrying me. For not losing your patience with me. For making me laugh. For making me smile again.

“For the cheese sandwiches.”

***

The night of the gala is cold for springtime, the blustering winds revving up and roaring to life. Looking outside your window, you can see the smaller trees swaying roughly against the unforgiving nature of what looks to be the beginnings of a windstorm. It gives you a peculiar foreboding feeling, listening to the ominous whistling of the winds, so loud as if they’re warning you. You back away from your window, and yet something inside you doesn’t close it and lock it as you know you should.

You float back over to your vanity table, feeling pretty in your new dress that you and Sharon had gone shopping for, just how she’d promised. You haven’t felt this pretty in a long time, and as you gaze at your reflection, you feel another pang of foreboding. Quickly, you busy yourself with powdering your nose and fixing your hair, wondering if maybe you should have agreed to get ready with Wanda and Sharon after all. You’d told them you wanted some alone time before the busyness of the gala. Some time to yourself where you could draw a bubble bath, and then shave and pluck and preen and pamper yourself till you felt somewhat ready for the big night out.

And it had made you feel better, your solo pamper session. Sure, your thoughts had spun into overdrive as they always did. Replaying all your recent interactions with Ari, with Steve, even with Sharon. The reflection made you chuckle at one point, because when had your life become so like a tumultuous soap opera? With secrets and lies and betrayal and deceit coming from all corners?

A loud gust of wind knocks you out of your reverie, and again you feel it. The feeling that something big is swirling up in the atmosphere, like the howling wind itself is trying to warn you that soon, it would all come to head.

“Fuck you! Try an’ scratch me again and see what happens!”

Your head snaps up at the sound of the familiar male voice. And it’s the proximity that makes your heart skip a beat. The voice sounded close, like it was coming from mere feet away from you. Fearfully, you look back at your window, only to see that same angelic face you know so well seemingly levitating outside.

“Steve?” You whisper, blinking several times. He doesn’t seem to hear you, and you wonder whether you’re imagining things. Slowly, you venture forward, back to your window which lies open. And that’s where you find him, standing on the ledge outside of your bedroom window which was two storeys high.

Steve whacks a wayward branch that looks to be tangled in his jacket. And his movements are oddly sluggish as he flips the bird at the tree adjacent to your building which the brand is attached to. “Damn stupid fuckin’ tree, tryna pick a fight with me,” he mutters before his eyes fall on you, and they brighten up instantly, “Hey, baby girl, fancy seeing you here!”

And then he bursts into a fit of giggles, while you just stare at him in awe, your mind still not having come to terms with the fact that Steve had somehow climbed all the way up to your window. In the dark. With the wind blustering insanely around him. Warily, you peek downwards, heart jumping all the way up to your throat when you see how he’s just casually balancing on the extremely thin ledge, the street below looking very minuscule with how high up your floor was.

“How did you get up here?” You breathe, still half in shock that he’s here that you forget how explosively your last encounter with him had gone down.

“Who, me?”

“Yes, of course you. Who else!?”

He shrugs, “Scaled that tree over there, then it decided to scratch me so I fought it off an’ jumped onto the ledge. Now here I am!” He ends his explanation with a flourish that causes him to stumble backwards. It almost happens in slow motion; you don’t even have a chance to react to what you’re seeing. But he catches his balance again just in time, grinning up at you mischievously.

“Whoops!” He laughs heartily, a type of laugh you’ve never really heard from him before. He shuffles along the ledge till he finds a spot he’s more comfortable with, leaning in through your window and shooting you a smile, “almost fell to my death there, didn’t I?”

“Steve, you need to get back down. You’ll hurt yourself.” You bite your lip, wondering whether you should let him in through your window just so he’d be safe. But the thought of being alone with him within the four walls of a bedroom again gives you the creeps, and so you refrain.

“Maybe I want to hurt myself,” he answers, staring at you almost quizzically. His lips are full, his cheeks flushed. His hair looks longer and even more unkempt than last time, that stubble still on his face, his eyes dark and unfocused. It was weird, because you’d always known Steve to be meticulously well-groomed and almost preppy with his clean-cut good looks. He was still handsome as ever now, but he looks darker, almost tortured, with dark bags under his eyes and even his cheeks looked kind of hollow.

“I’m serious, climb back down.”

“I just wanted to see you again,” he breathes softly, and his entire expression morphs to tender as he reaches out to touch your face. “And I knew you wouldn’t let me in the normal way.”

You can’t help but flinch away, and he sighs, bringing his hand back down to grip at your windowsill, “You’re so pretty.”

That’s when you smell it. Vodka. Suddenly, his erratic behaviour makes a lot more sense. His pupils are dark and blown out, and he’s swaying dangerously on the spot.

“You’re drunk, Steve.”

“Nah,” he bats his hand dismissively, but with such force that he stumbles forward. And again, your heart lurches in your throat, thinking he’s going to fall. But lithely, he grabs on to something or the other, regains his balance, and flashes you another smile, “okay, maybe a little bit. But being drunk helps.”

You frown, not knowing whether to feel scared or concerned, “What do you mean?”

He shrugs, “Helps to forget all the shitty stuff.”

A wave of anger passes through you, “Shitty stuff? You mean like all the awful things you said to me when you tried to force yourself on me?” Hell, maybe you should be the one drinking if it meant you could forget how he’d called you an easy slut.

Steve bows his head, still swaying slightly, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, sweetie.”

“Stop it, Steve. I’m serious.”

He sighs again, “So am I. I hate how I lose control like that. It’s like I zone out, and something takes over me and I’m there on fucking standby. Watching this one version of myself lash out and say all these shitty things an’ I can’t do anything to stop it.  And when I zone back in, it’s too late an’ I can’t take anything back.”

He explains with surprising eloquence, despite being so drunk.  And God, why did he have to look all rugged and heartbroken right now? Dismissing him would be so much easier if he was ugly.

There’s an emotion swelling up inside you as you look at him now, but you try to suppress it. Instead, remembering your ice queen persona, you cross your arms over your chest and force yourself to narrow your eyes. “Is that your explanation? That you zoned out? Because honestly, the lack of accountability–”

“I don’t think you’re a slut,” Steve interrupts you, “you’re sweet, and beautiful, and innocent. That’s what I thought the night I first saw you. And sure, I guess I used you because I was trying to get back at him–”

You flinch. There it was again. The reminder that Steve had indeed used you. And you’d fallen for it… Hook, line and sinker.

“–but at least I’m honest enough to admit it. Doesn’t that count for something?”

He finishes, blinking up at you with large eyes framed with those impossibly thick lashes, as if waiting for you to respond. When you don’t, he sighs, swaying again as another strong gust of wind attacks from the outside.

“I like you a lot, okay? I know I haven’t known you as long as he has, but it doesn’t matter. I think what we have is special.”  He swallows, his eyes squinting as he searches across the plains of your face, either trying to gauge your thoughts or trying to come up with the right words to say next. “And I know I fucked it up because that’s what I always do. So fuck it, I don’t care anymore.”

He shoves his hand inside his jacket, conjuring up a glass bottle of Gray Goose vodka out of what seems to be thin air. Your jaw drops open as you watch him take a hearty swig from it – and it was already half empty!

“Okay, that was a lie. I do still care.” He wipes his mouth roughly, stumbling about and still very much on the window ledge. “There’s just so much going on inside my head,” he says, and he demonstrates by smacking the side of his head with his open palm, “School, basketball, taking care of Kira – all of it just keeps building up. And I try my best, okay?” He loses his footing and sways some more, “but it’s never enough, and all my thoughts get louder and louder, like voices fucking screaming inside my head, and then I just explode. And I get so fucking angry, and it’s always directed towards the wrong people – whoops!”

He slips. You cry out in terror and impulsively grab hold of his arm. But he regains his balance and barks out a laugh, as if he’s tripped whilst taking a simple stroll in the park and not currently balancing on top of a very high and very dangerous ledge.

“It wouldn’t matter if I fell, you know?” He muses, taking another long swig of the vodka. And he doesn’t even flinch as the bitter liquid goes down his throat, as if the taste no longer has any effect on him. “I mean, my life’s a fucking mess already. Basketball’s completely fucked, anyways…”

“What do you mean?” You ask, your heart pitter-pattering in fear. His overtly reckless behaviour is scaring you, and you realise you’re holding your breath as you watch him callously standing there.

Steve shrugs, “Got kicked off the team today.”

Oh. You feel a surge of pity. And you know you shouldn’t. Not after how he treated you. And yet you can’t help it. Tonight, Ari was going to win an award for being the best basketball player of the season, and in the summer, he was going to the NBA. You can’t help but feel for Steve’s starkly different fortune.

He takes another gulp of vodka, “Coach said I couldn’t control my emotions and I’d keep costing the team if I continued playing.” He gazes off into the distance, and you try to gauge his expression but it’s quite unreadable. He laughs bitterly and smiles again, but it looks more like a grimace, “Fuck him. He’s right, but fuck him anyways.”

“Steve, this is dangerous. You could fall–”

“Fuck basketball,” he continues swaying around like he hasn’t even heard you, “it’s not like I was ever gonna make it to the NBA, anger issues or not. No, I have to become a surgeon. Like my parents.” His words slur and ring with sarcasm, and he barks out another laugh, “If I don’t fuck that up too…”

“I’m sorry that happened, but–”

He scoffs, “Can’t even fucking imagine being a doctor. My patients would probably be scared of me, just like how you are.”

“Please, just get down–”

“And Kira…” His expression morphs from bitter to sad in less than a second, and he clutches your hand suddenly. The one that you hadn’t realised was still holding on to his arm. And you don’t pull away, almost like you don’t want to. Either that, or you want to keep hold of him so he doesn’t fall.

Steve coughs, “God, I wish I took care of her better. I feel so fucking guilty, living on campus while she lives by herself in our house. Our parents are never home, they don’t even know what she went through… How she doesn’t even speak to anyone but me, how she doesn’t go out anymore...”

Another long swig. It’s a wonder the bottle isn’t empty yet. You want to interject, beg him once more to climb back down to safety, or at least hand you the vodka so he doesn’t drink anymore. But he’s not done speaking, and cuts you off when you try to get a word in edgewise.

“My parents, the award-winning heart surgeons!” He raises the vodka bottle up in the air in a mock toast, “They’re here, there, everywhere around the fucking world!” Another swig, more swaying. “Everywhere except for at fucking home. So then I have to handle everything, don’t I?”

“Steve–”

“They don’t even know how bad she’s gotten, how their own daughter’s shut herself off from everyone.” Steve shakes his head in both resignation and frustration, “and I try so fucking hard, okay? Try to help her with her anxiety, help her make new friends. God, all I do is worry about her. And school. And basketball. While they jet across the world doing their fancy surgeries and not giving a damn about her or me. Fuck them!”

Whoa. Wow. Okay. Now, you look at Steve with new eyes – you had no idea there was so much going on in his life, in his head. It still didn’t excuse the way he’d spoken to you, the way he’d forced himself on you – and yet… Yet you can’t help but feel another pang of sorrow and pity for him.

His eyes are dark and stormy as he looks out into the early evening sky, before looking back to you. His gaze falls down to your hand holding on to his arm, and he smiles softly.

“You were the only thing in my life that was good.”

You shake your head, your barriers going back up, and you try to pull your hand away, “No. Stop lying, Steve, just don’t even try it, don’t even–”

“No, it’s true!” He insists, holding on tightly to your hand as if he’s on a sinking ship and you’re his only lifeline. “That one week before I fucked it all up, that one week when we were just texting. I’d be on my phone, smiling like a fucking fool. You can ask Kira! She knew about you because I couldn’t stop talking to her about you.”

You bite your lip, and despite everything, you find yourself wanting to believe him so bad. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind has Steve clutching your hand even harder as he teeters on the ledge, bringing his face closer to yours, his eyes hooded and lashes fanning over those impossibly sharp cheekbones.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says.

“Don’t, Steve…”

He sighs, breaking eye contact as he plays with the glass bottle in his hand. But his other hand seems to move off its own accord, his pointer finger trailing up your bare arm. And it’s so intimate, that simple touch, leaving a trail of fire and goosebumps in its wake. Your skin feels like it’s buzzing, burning almost, as he traces his finger up your shoulder blade, as if he’s testing to see how much you’d let him touch you.

“I miss you.”

You feel your resolve crumbling…

“No, you don’t. All we did was text for one week. We never even went on a date, so you can’t possibly miss what you never had.”

“And yet I still miss you.”

He leans in, his eyes fluttering shut. His lips look so pink, so warm, so hesitantly inviting. Slightly pursed, as if he doesn’t know if it’s going to happen but he’s going to try anyways. Another sharp gust of wind blows past, almost pushing him into you as if even the universe itself is cajoling you to just give in to him. You can smell the alcohol on his pores, and yet you can also feel his warmth, his musky cologne, the way his breath hitches as if he can’t believe this kiss is actually happening…

Except you turn your head at the last second, and he sighs.

“Should’ve seen that coming,” he says to the evening sky, “lost my place on the team, lost my girl, I wonder what I’ll lose next? You wanna take any guesses? Hey, maybe I’ll lose my balance! That would be funny, wouldn’t it?”

You watch as he looks down, all the way down to the ground with a peculiar gleam in his eye. The type of gleam that reflects that he’s a man with nothing to lose. And it’s a long way down. What the hell was he thinking?!

“He really fucked her up,” Steve murmurs softly to himself, a whisper that almost gets lost in the great gusts of wind that swirl around the two of you. “And I tried to do something about it, tried to get back at him, but I fucked it up. I always fuck up. Maybe it’s best if I just–”

“Steve, stop it! Stop being so reckless!”

You tug hard at his arm, and at the same time a heavy wind blows. Steve stumbles again, but mercifully, he falls forward instead of back. Through your window and right on top of you. You both land on the floor with a thud, and despite how drunk he is, he manages to bring his hands out in front of him, preventing you from getting crushed by his huge frame.

“Whoops. Sorry, baby.”

He flashes you a cocky smile, as if he hadn’t just been teetering on your window ledge in the middle of a sad, drunken rant. The bottle of vodka is still snugly clutched between his fingers, somehow having also survived the fall onto your hard bedroom floor.

You open your mouth to tell him to get off of you, but the words die inside your throat. Instead, you look up at him, at his face so close to yours. So close that his nose is an inch away from brushing against your own. And his eyes, navy and blown out and yet still so pretty, blink down at you imploringly. The last time, when you’d been in his bedroom, they’d looked so stormy and far away. And here, now, he was drunk and yet he looked present. And you realise that you don’t feel unsafe at all.

“I really, really want to kiss you right now,” Steve says, slurring and stumbling over his words.

“Don’t.” You warn him, although you notice your own lack of conviction. In that moment, had he actually done it you don’t think you’d have objected too much. But you don’t want to give in to him, not after how scary he’d been last time. Despite everything, you still haven’t forgotten.

He nods slowly, “I know, fuck, I know…”

Shakily, he gets off of you, swaying slightly as he gets on his feet, and then he yanks you up too. Before you can stop him, he takes another swig of vodka before his eyes once again settle on you.

You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard, biting his lip as his dark eyes drink you in. In your form-fitting emerald dress that wraps around your body like a second skin of smooth satin. The ruching which accentuates your curves even more, the delicate lace detailing, the smooth dip of your cleavage. The gleam of your bare legs that peak through the slit of the dress. The demure heels that makes them look longer than ever. And yet you can’t help but shift shyly under his intense gaze.

“You’re all dressed up,” Steve says softly, reaching out to touch you before thinking better of it, curling his outstretched hand into a fist and pushing it down to his side, “You look… incredible.”

“Th-Thank you.”

“You going somewhere?”

“Uh… yes.”

He nods before his brow furrows, “Is he taking you out?”

“What–?”

“Levinson. Is he taking you out? Are you two together now?” His tone hardens, and you feel your heart jump up to your throat. Oh, please let him not get all angry again like how he did last time!

“No.” You say firmly, “There’s this gala, this fundraiser thing at the Hilton Hotel. That’s where I’m going. Me and Sharon and Wanda.”

“No Levinson?”

You shake your head, “N-No, Steve.” It was only white lie, because you weren’t going with Ari and you probably wouldn’t speak to him tonight. It was a girl’s night out, if anything. Plus, you’re scared that Steve might flip out if he knew that Ari would be there too.

“You promise?” He looks at you meaningfully, and he’s got that same intense look again. The look you’ve grown to associate with him, that eery, almost glassy stare. “Promise me, Y/N. Promise me that you aren’t going out with Ari.”

You don’t owe him anything, certainly not any promises. And yet, yet you can’t help but nod, “I promise, Steve. In fact, Sharon and Wanda are on their way to pick me up.”

Steve nods approvingly, looking somewhere beyond you. His eyes look sad once again, and he takes another long, lingering sip of vodka. “Good girl. You stay away from him, okay? All he does is hurt people.” He shakes his head, his mouth pulling downwards in a grimace, “He hurt her so bad.”

You frown, “Hurt who? Sharon?”

The blond doesn’t answer, but he continues talking to himself. “What did she ever do to him? He didn’t give a damn about her, and now look at her…”

You feel an uneasy wave of guilt, “You mean Sharon, don’t you? I know…”

Steve frowns, opening his mouth to answer you before he grows distracted by something beyond your shoulder. A slow smile spreads across his face, and he stumbles over to your desk in the corner of the room.

“My jacket!” He grabs the blue and white varsity jacket he’d given you the night of the party, “You still have it. You kept it.”

“You can take it back!” You say quickly, a bit too quickly judging by how his face falls. Quickly, he drops the jacket as if it’s made of hot coals, a bitter look enveloping his features.

“You should throw it away. Or burn it.” He says simply, throwing his head back and taking a hearty sip of his vodka, “thought you would’ve looked cute wearing it to one of my games but I since I won’t be playing anymore, there’s no point anymore, is there?”

What follows is an uncomfortable silence. And oh, why was he making you feel bad for him now?! After everything he’d said and done? But then he’d apologised too… Were you being too hard on him? Now you feel more confused than ever!

You sigh, “Steve… Look, I just don’t know how to act around you. One second, you’re so intense, and you’re calling me a slut, and you’re being all scary. And then the next it’s like your entire personality changes. And I just… I don’t know what to believe, okay?”

“Why can’t you just believe that I’m sorry for what happened? I’m sorry for all of it.”

You shift uncomfortably, looking down at your heel-clad feet. You wrack your brain, trying to choose your next words carefully, “I… do believe that you’re sorry.”

He stands there expectantly, as if waiting for you to say something more, to say that you forgive him, perhaps? But you don’t think you do. Do you? A few more empty seconds pass before he clears his throat.

“They put me on some kind of medication. Added it to the ones I already take.” He volunteers, breaking the silence. He avoids your gaze now, instead focusing on his bottle of vodka, tossing it from one hand to the other and tapping at the glass. “For my anger and mood swings, or whatever.”

You nod, “That’s good, right? You saw a doctor?”

He snorts, “No. My parents just heard about me flipping out and contacted the family physician Got him to prescribe me all these different pills. But this,” he raises the vodka up in the air and waves it around, “This helps more than any medication ever could. It stops all the screaming in my head. And luckily, Mom and Dad left the house full of booze, so I’m all good to go.”

You nod slowly, furrowing your brow, “Steve, maybe you shouldn’t be drinking while you’re on medication–”

Your phone vibrates loudly from its place on your bed, the sound shaking you from the inside out. Even Steve blinks several times, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding as you make your way over to your phone. It’s like the bubble of intensity the two of you have been encased in has popped, and now you’re back in the real world. It was crazy, because being inside the bubble felt intoxicating, like everything was moving in slow motion, like you were in some sort of fairytale and the troubled prince had just climbed in through your window.

Your screen glows with a new text.

Sharon: We’re on our way! Wanda’s already so drunk lol we’ll be there in ten minutes!

Oh no. You’d rather your friends didn’t run into a drunken Steve Rogers when they came to pick you up. Especially not when you were supposed to have sworn off men anyways.

“Steve, you–”

“–I need to go,” he completes sombrely, picking at a piece of loose thread on the sleeve of his expensive-looking sweater, “I know, I know.” His eyes narrow, “That wasn’t Ari, was it? Who texted you just now?”

“No.” 

He relaxes, “Good. Okay, I guess I’ll leave then.”

You chew your bottom lip anxiously, “H-How will you get back? You didn’t drive here yourself, did you?”

He waves your question off as if it isn’t important, backing away towards your door, “You don’t worry about me, sweetheart.”

“Steve Rogers, don’t you dare drive back home in the state you’re in!”

He just stares at you, that same bittersweet look on his face. Finally, he nods, “I’ll be fine. I came here with Bucky.”

You nod, “Okay, then. As long as you don’t drive…”

Steve shoots you a sad smile, one that doesn’t really reach his eyes. His eyes that are still glued on just you, only you. He crosses his hand over his chest, “I promise I won’t. Scout’s honour… Although I was never a scout, so who knows if you can take my word. Ha ha.”

He finally makes it to your door, almost as if he’d been walking in slow motion, wading through quicksand. Why? Because he didn’t want to leave? And you feel a lump in your throat, one that won’t go no matter how many times you swallow. There’s an odd yearning inside you, like an itch on your hand. No, an itch in your heart. Your fingers twitch as if wanting to reach out to touch him. Did you not want him to leave, either?

You press your lips together, rooting yourself in place as you watch him go. At the last second, he turns back around again.

“I am sorry, okay? Sorry about everything.”

Once more, all you do is nod. The expectancy in his eyes fades away and he sighs, his hand resting on the doorknob as he goes to shut the door. 

A second passes. But it feels like the longest second you’ve ever lived. Like your heart seems to beat about a thousand times in that one second, like a drum reaching crescendo. Feeling like you’ve reached that part in the movie, that page in the book where the climax happens and then everyone can breathe again. Outside, the winds seem to be charging up again, readying themselves for an almighty, blustering blow. And you can feel the booming whistle of the winds ringing all around you, when you suddenly drop your phone on your bed and rush over to the door before you can think better of it.

“Steve, wait!”

You press your lips to his in a searing kiss, catching him completely off-guard. He stumbles back slightly, either by how strongly you’ve jumped on him or because of his own inebriation. Either way, he recovers quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against him as he reciprocates your kiss.

And you don’t know why you’re kissing him, but it’s like your body’s gone past the point of rationale. Like your lips and your limbs have a mind of their own and your brain is no longer part of the conversation. And Steve’s lips feel so soft, and this time you feel like it’s you in control. He’s too drunk to take charge, you suspect, as his lips move languidly against yours.

Your hands cup his face, his bristly skin pricking the pads of your fingers, and yet it doesn’t bother you. Not when he’s kissing so softly, so cautiously like he’s afraid he could hurt you again. It’s you who presses your tongue against his, stroking it, biting and nipping at his lips. He smirks at your overexcitement, finally injecting more passion into the kiss by tipping your head back slightly and pressing his lips harder against yours.

He tastes like vodka, but you don’t mind. He also tastes kind of sweet, kind of irresistible. And oh, you know this makes no sense! And you know you shouldn’t be kissing him! What about Ari? What about your own dignity? What about swearing off all men? What about–?

You pull away as abruptly as you’d kissed him, and both of you stand there breathless for a handful of seconds. Your lips still tingle pleasantly, and before he can say anything, you gently pry the bottle of vodka from his hand.

“I’ll keep this, okay?” You say softly, holding it behind your back. There’s still quite a bit left in it, and Steve looks like he’s one sip away from disaster. Or at least a very bad headache tomorrow morning. You pray it’s only the latter.

But he’s got a sparkle in his eye now, and he doesn’t spare the vodka a second glance, “It all went away for a second.”

“What went away?”

“All the fucking screaming in my head. All that pressure I was telling you about. Kissing you made it all go away. Your lips are magic, baby girl. Better than the vodka.”

“Oh.” You don’t know what else to say, but you feel a lurching pull in your heart nonetheless.

“Yeah, like I’m numb to it all now. Comfortably numb. And it’s such a fucking relief.” He closes his eyes for a second, as if he’s savouring the feeling. You’re so intently looking at him that you don’t even notice when he grabs your hand, and his eyes flutter open, “So you forgive me?”

You hesitate, “Steve, I…I don’t know.”

His serene smile freezes on his face, and he drops your hand like it’s a hot poker. You feel it again in your heart, that lurching fee ling that you can’t place. You watch as his face falls, almost in slow motion. And it feels like you’re sitting front row in the cinema, watching his expression turn sad, his eyes clouding over once more like he was depending everything on your forgiveness.

“Okay. Goodbye.”

He stumbles out of your room, out into the stairwell where he trips before grabbing on to the banister.

“Steve, please be careful,” you say again, your tone laced with worry.

He glances back at you, that ever-charming smile back on his face. Back from when you’d seen it that first night when you’d met him. Almost like he’s put on a mask. He gives you a sluggish thumbs-up, “I’ll be fine. I’m comfortably numb, remember? I just hope it lasts…”

What the hell did that mean? Should you go after him? You hear your phone vibrate loudly, and you glance back at your bed to see it glowing with several new texts. But then you look back at the stairwell to find it empty. He was gone. Gone like a gust of wind. Gone like he was never there.

But he was. You can still feel him on your lips.

As if in a dream, you float back into your room and pick up your phone. Two new texts.

Sharon: We’re five minutes away! Traffic’s crazy lol.

Ari: Hey. I just want to say that I’m happy you’re coming tonight. Even if we don’t get to speak, just know you’ll be on my mind all night. Fuck. That was cheesy. Anyways. See you there :).

You sink down on your bed, already feeling exhausted and mentally drained. Despite the fact that the night was nowhere near over yet. In fact, it hadn’t even begun.

***

“Where’s Curtis?” Wanda wonders aloud, scanning the sprawling banquet hall and immediately grabbing a flute of champagne from an elegantly dressed waiter holding a tray full of them.

The banquet hall where the gala is being held at the Hilton is reasonably full, and you recognise a bunch of familiar faces from campus – both students and professors. Everyone’s dressed smartly – the men in tuxedos and the women in evening gowns and dresses. Sharon and the decorating committee have done a great job; each table swathed in ivory cloth, with red rose centrepieces and golden gilded chairs. Matching golden lights against an otherwise dark room gives an almost ethereal ambiance.

“He’s probably over on table 2 with the rest of the basketball team,” Sharon nods to a table at the front of the room near the stage. “I did the seating arrangements and the place-cards.”

Predictably, table 2 is the rowdiest table in the entire banquet hall. Clearly, the basketball team didn’t give two fucks about what was considered proper black-tie etiquette. You can see Ransom Drysdale and Andy Barber having some kind of a drinking competition, chugging down wine glass after wine glass as if they were cans of beer. Lloyd is acting like their referee, half on top of the table as he tries eggs them on. Colin is laughing his head off as he looks to be live-streaming this whole performance on his phone. And then there’s Ari.

And oh, he looks so breathtaking! Your heart physically skips a beat when you see him. His brown hair slicked back sexily, but the ends curling around his stiff white collar. His tuxedo looks well-tailored and expensive – Armani probably – and a white bow tie that makes him look more handsome than ever. He’s sat in the middle of his table, looking very much like the leader of his group. A smirk on his face as he watches his teammates horse around, but then his eyes meet yours, and the cocky smirk turns into the most adorably lovesick smile that does not look like it belongs on his face – only because you’ve never really seen him smile like that ever before.

“Oh gosh, there’s Ari,” Sharon says, coming up closer to your side and making you snap your eyes away from her ex-boyfriend immediately. The blonde takes a few deeps breaths to calm herself, “And he’s looking straight at me! Well, who cares? I’m not gonna let him affect my night. In fact, I’m gonna go over to him to prove how unbothered I am–”

Before you know what’s happening, she starts making a beeline straight over to table 2 – with you in tow! Wanda follows, her eyes still searching the room for Curtis as she downs her champagne quickly.

“Hello, Ari,” Sharon says stiffly, hanging on to your arm for dear life. You hope you don’t look as mortified as you feel, watching as Ari looks up at the two of you, his charming little smile still on his face.

“Hi.” He answers her, giving her a quick nod before his eyes shift to you, and you see them sparkle as he looks you up and down, taking in your emerald dress, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards again in another sweet little smile. Oh God, damn him for being so obvious!

“Well, I just came here to congratulate you on your award,” Sharon says, a determinedly happy-yet-nonchalant look plastered on her face. “So, well, congratulations.”

Ari nods again, physically tearing his eyes away from you, “Thanks.”

“Where’s Curtis, you guys?” Wanda interrupts the awkward exchange, looking expectantly at the basketball team. You watch as she grabs another champagne from another cocktail waiter who happens to pass by, downing it as quickly as she had the first.

Ransom snickers, “He’s somewhere around here, sweetheart. But I wouldn’t bother him if I was you, he’s kinda busy.”

Wanda doesn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence before she’s off, weaving across the banquet hall at lightning speed. You watch her, mildly concerned as she grabs yet another glass of champagne, her previous one still in her other hand. She’d been antsy the whole ride over, because apparently Curtis wasn’t texting her back, and hadn’t since last night.

“She’s already a mess,” Sharon murmurs to you under her breath before smiling brightly at Ari, “Well, see you around, Ari.”

He nods at her for the third time, before his eyes rest on you once more. There’s a hint of yearning within them, and his lips twitch as if he wants to say something. Oh, when did it get so easy to read his expressions? Did you know him that well now? He gives you a soft, private smile – one you know is meant just for you. One that seems to convey a thousand words in just a single twitch of a muscle. You almost return it, before remembering who you’re with.

“Thank God, he didn’t bring her,” Sharon mutters to you as the two of you walk away from jock table.

“Huh?”

“The little skank he cheated on me with. I would’ve died if he brought her along as his date.”

You gulp, eyeing one of the champagne flutes yourself. After tonight, you absolutely had to come clean to Sharon. There was no other choice, you’d kept this secret long enough. And if it meant she’d no longer be your friend, then so be it. You deserved that. But no more excuses, you had to tell her tonight after this event was over.

And the event itself is fine. You hang out with Sharon while she makes small talk with a bunch of different people. You don’t talk much, simply staying quiet and observing. People’s outfits, their makeup, their shoes, everything. It’s nice to be out and about again, after spending what felt like an eternity rotting in your dorm room and feeling sorry for yourself. You even find yourself catching Ari’s eye every now and again, and each and every time he’d give you his sweet little private smile that made you want to die. You’d look away, of course, or busy yourself with talking to Sharon or someone else, just so you wouldn’t smile back. Even though you wanted to. You really, really wanted to.

You do get a handful of texts from him though.

Ari: You look beautiful.

Ari: I can’t take my eyes off you.

Ari: Seriously, I don’t think you realise how beautiful you look right now.

You don’t reply, but you know he can see you looking down at your phone and smiling like crazy.

About a half hour into the gala, the hosts beckon everyone to sit at their assigned tables because the award ceremony is about to begin. That’s when you notice that Wanda’s been missing for a while now. You scan the room while a retired basketball coach hobbles his way onto the stage, beginning a very long-winded speech on how he��d single-handedly led the St. Andrews’ team to victory back in 1993. Where the hell was Wanda? You realise you’ve been so wrapped up in the event and playing secret smiling games with Ari from across the room to notice that you hadn’t seen her since the three of you had arrived here.

Luckily, you spot her stumbling towards the bathrooms that are in a corridor off the main banquet hall. Stumbling being the key word, and you quietly curse yourself for allowing her to drink so much. God, Ari was just so distracting! Even when you weren’t even speaking to him, just his presence alone was making you forget about everyone else!

You tell Sharon you’re going to get Wanda before quietly sneaking away, hoping to discreetly bring her back before she wanders off somewhere else. You just hope

“Wanda, hey! Wait up!” You catch up to her, “Let’s go back to the banquet hall.”

Wanda rolls her eyes, “Leave me alone, Y/N. I’m looking for my boyfriend.”

Oh. She still hadn’t found him yet?

“C’mon, our table’s this way,” you try again, grabbing her hand, about to lead her away. Then you notice her eyes light up as she looks beyond your shoulder.

“Baby, there you are!” Wanda slurs brightly, snatching her hand out of your grip and making a beeline down the hall. You whip around to see Curtis closing the bathroom door behind him, his other hand wiping his mouth. His tie loose around his neck and top collar button undone. And you also see a tiny brunette in a silver dress slip out of the bathroom behind him, the dim lights of the hallway swallowing her up as she slinks away into the darkness, Wanda not even noticing her.

“Wanda.” Curtis blinks, looking entirely unperturbed. “You’re here.”

She hits him playfully on the shoulder, “Of course, I’m here. I came with the girls, remember? And I wanted to support you!”

He scratches the back of his head, “Yeah. Cool. Look, I’m gonna go back to the boys–”

“Great, let’s go!” Wanda links her arm with his, making his jaw tense and eyebrow raise. And you watch this whole ordeal with a sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Babe, remember how I told you this event was a no date kind of thing?” Curtis carefully peels himself away from her, making her pout. You cringe when she doesn’t get the message, grabbing his bicep again, her manicured nails like talons holding on with all her might.

“But I missed you, baby,” Wanda smiles up at him drunkenly. “I’ve been looking for you all night!”

Curtis visibly cringes, “Come on, babe, don’t be like this.” Again, he dislodges his arm from her grip, pushing her off of him not-so-gently. “I’m here with the team tonight, but I promise I’ll come by your room later. Maybe. Like way after midnight probably.”

You can’t hide your disgust, openly frowning and shaking your head at him. God, why did all men suck so much?

“Come on, Wanda,” You grab her hand once more, “You don’t need him to enjoy your night. Let’s go.”

“Um, fuck off, Y/N, I’m talking to my boyfriend right now.” Wanda pushes you off her before sidling up to Curtis again.

You gape at her, feeling a pang of hurt. She’s just drunk, she didn’t mean to say that…

Curtis sighs, rolling his eyes, “Listen to your friend, Wanda. I gotta go.”

“I’ll come with you!”

For a third time, she grabs on to his arm tightly. That’s when Curtis huffs, clearly annoyed.

“Look, I don’t know what you think is going on between us, but stop acting like we’re in some serious relationship or whatever.” He says, a frown bordering on disgust on his face as he shakes her hand off of him.

Wanda gapes, and even your mouth drops open. How dare he? How fucking rude!

“Baby, you don’t mean that–”

“I mean sure, we have fun together but please don’t get the wrong idea, Wanda. You can’t just chase me down at these public events like you own me or something. That’s not how this works. In fact, all it does is make you look kind of desperate.” He continues, getting his phone out and nonchalantly scrolling through it as if this whole painful conversation isn’t even worth his time.

How the hell was he speaking to his own girlfriend like that?

“I-I’m sorry for being desperate, Curtis,” Wanda says earnestly, her eyes wild and pupils dilated, “Please, don’t do this! Don’t break up with me like this!”

He rolls his eyes, “Do what? I’m not doing anything! I can’t break up with someone who was never my girlfriend to begin with. Sure, we had fun for a few weeks but it’s not like we were ever exclusive, let alone dating. You were too clingy for my liking anyways.”

“Curtis, that’s enough!” You admonish, your heart breaking for poor Wanda. Curtis was a joke.  You can’t believe he’s standing here denying he was ever in a relationship with her. Hell, you’d been a third wheel to them enough times in the past month to know the two of them had definitely been a thing. How the hell was he just so casually gaslighting her now, as if none of that ever happened? God, you would never understand men!

Curtis glances at you, a devilish twinkle in his eye before he turns to Wanda again, “Hell, I’m pretty sure I tried to sleep with your friend Y/N before I settled for you that night at the party.”

“Oh, you’re such an asshole!” You explode, pulling Wanda away, “Stay away from her, you piece of shit! C’mon, Wanda.”

What you haven’t noticed is Wanda standing deathly still. She snatches her hand away from you, a look of absolute loathing, shock and betrayal on her face. And a part of you wants to see her give an asshole like Curtis a piece of her mind. But then she turns to face you, her eyes drunk and accusatory.

“Y-You…” she points at you, swaying in her heels from all the alcohol in her system, “You slept with my boyfriend?”

“What? No, he tried to sleep with me, but I wasn’t interested. It really wasn’t a big deal–” You try to hold her hand to calm her down, hoping she doesn’t make a big scene.

“Later, ladies.” Curtis grins, squeezing past the two of you and strutting over to table 2 with the rest of his team. You watch him for a moment, slack-jawed at his nonchalance and how badly he’d just hurt your friend.

“I can’t believe you!” Wanda hisses, pulling away from you yet again. “I can’t believe you slept with him!”

You shake your head desperately, “No, no, no! I didn’t sleep with him! That’s not what he said!” You take a deep breath, stopping yourself from raising your own voice out of desperation to get her to understand. Instead, you speak slowly: “Wanda, I did not sleep with Curtis. Yes, he did try it on with me ages ago but nothing happened.”

“You’re the biggest bitch in the world, Y/N! I can’t believe you slept with him!” Wanda sputters, tears welling in her drunken eyes. It’s like her brain has only selectively heard what he’d said and is running with it, and she’s unable to compute what you’re saying to her now. “I knew you weren’t above sleeping with other people’s boyfriends but I never thought you’d do it to me!”

“No, please, just listen! You’re not understanding–”

“Let go of me!” She bats your hands off her when you try to grab her again, backing away and stumbling out into the main banquet hall. “Don’t even speak to me again, Y/N! How dare you sleep with Curtis?! When you knew how much me and him meant to each other!”

Helplessly, you watch her as she marches across the banquet hall, and you trail behind her with a lump in your throat. You’d have to wait until she was sober to explain things to her properly, which was another conversation you weren’t looking forward to. But for now, you just watch her, hoping she doesn’t injure herself with how determinedly she’s walking. You expect her to head towards Curtis’ table, which is why you freeze when she walks straight past him and up towards the stage.

The retired basketball coach is just about done with his speech, and you nervously rejoin Sharon who is also looking at Wanda climbing up the stairs of the stage with a confused look on her face.

“We need to go get her,” you murmur.

“Why, hello young lady,” the retired basketball coach greets Wanda warmly, “Are you here to present the first award?”

Both you and Sharon spot Wanda eyeing the microphone with a gleam in her eye, and the two of you stand up in unison, exchanging alarmed looks.

But Wanda is quick, bumping the retired coach out of the way with her hip. She grabs the mic, tapping it quickly many times in succession. A high-pitched feedback echoes across the room, and more eyes turn towards her from all the other tables in the hall. The retired coach gives her a confused smile before shrugging and slowly hobbling away. A number of stagehands look on in confusion, checking their clipboards to see if this was part of the show.

And that’s when Wanda starts talking.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an award of my own!” She grips on to the mic like a vice, teetering on the middle of the stage. Her hair’s messy, her face stained with dried up tears. The straps of her dress slipping down her shoulders, and the half empty wine glass still in her hand, the remaining contents of it sloshing out onto the polished wooden floor.

“What the hell is she doing?” Sharon whispers from beside you. All around you, everyone in the banquet hall is whispering amongst themselves, and now all eyes are glued to your drunken best friend on stage. The tables full of professors, coaches and alumni all look around in bewilderment, frowning as if Wanda being on stage is all part of some kind of skit before the award ceremony.

You glance over at the jocks on table 2. Ari shoots you a perplexed look, Ransom’s got his phone camera out, Andy’s grinning from ear to ear. Colin has the decency to look away, an embarrassed look on his face. And Curtis? Curtis leans back on his chair, an amused look on his face as if he’s ready to kick back and enjoy the show.

That means it’s all up to you.

“Wanda!” You hiss, glad that your table is close enough to the stage that she can hear you, “Wanda, you’re drunk. C’mon, let’s go to the bathroom so I can fix you up.”

She looks down at you and smirks evilly, before looking away as if she hasn’t even heard you. Instead, she once more taps the mic once, twice, three times. She giggles drunkenly, “Testing, testing, is this thing on?”

“Wanda, babe, come down please!” Sharon joins in, but she also gets promptly ignored. She bites her lip before turning to you, “God, how did we not realise how drunk she’d gotten? She’s gonna make a fool of herself.”

“Wanda!” You try again, raising your voice slightly, “Come down, Wanda, please! The awards ceremony is about to begin!”

“It’s already begun! And like I said, I have an award of my own,” Wanda says, looking beyond you but never fully at you. You can see her lip curled slightly, and either it’s a smile or a sneer – you can’t really tell. But it makes your blood run cold, and a strong sense of foreboding washes over you again, like how it had earlier in your bedroom.

Quickly, you make your way over to the stage, hoping to pull her off before she said anything to embarrass herself too much. And it’s when you’re climbing up the stairs at the side of the stage that she resumes speaking:

“I know you’re all here for some… some random basketball award,” Wanda slurs, “But I wanna get my award out of the way first. And it’s the award for St. Andrews’ college’s biggest fucking slut.”

You’re halfway up the stage by now, and it’s when you step up on to the polished wooden floor that you pause, her words sinking in and a horrific feeling dawning on you. Oh no…

“And look! Here she is, the slut herself!” Wanda cheers, pointing straight at you with an unsteady hand. She throws her head back and laughs, her other hand gripping on to the mic for dear life. “Everybody, please give it up for Y/N! She already knows she’s the winner, nobody else could ever compare! Y/N is undoubtedly the biggest fucking slut on campus, and she wholeheartedly deserves this fucking award!”

Pin drop silence. For the first second, that’s all you hear. Silence that’s so loud, it’s almost deafening. Ringing in your ears, closing in on you like a siren. Then, you feel the waves of heat. Red hot fire radiating all over your body. Your face, your arms, your neck. Everywhere. You can’t quite believe what’s happening, but you know there’s a banquet hall filled with strangers staring straight at you as if you’re swathed in a spotlight.

“Curtis, get your girl the fuck off the stage!” You hear Ari say somewhere in the distance, and you can see him getting to his feet.

“No fucking way, that bitch isn’t my problem anymore.” Curtis whispers back, a note of glee in his tone.

You remain frozen on stage, your heart thrumming up to your throat. Wanda cackles, drunkenly beckoning you closer. Someone – either a professor or a coach – tries to coax her off the stage but she bats him away as if he’s an insignificant fly.

“C’mon, Y/N! Don’t be shy, come accept your award!” Wanda holds up her now empty wine glass as if it’s a trophy, “Ladies and gentlemen, don’t be mistaken! Y/N isn’t normally this shy! I mean, she certainly wasn’t when she fucked my boyfriend!”

A hushed gasp fills the hall, followed by a host of whispers. There’s a tiny voice inside you, telling you to run. Just run, run, run away from it all. But your feet don’t move, firmly planted in place as your whole body buzzes with heat and the lump in your throat gets bigger and bigger. Why was Wanda doing this? Oh God, what was happening!?

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Ari scrape his chair back and stride over to the stage, a venomous look on his face. At the same time, you feel a warm hand on your shoulder as Sharon comes up the steps to stand beside you.

“Wanda, honey, that’s enough.” Sharon says softly, holding her other hand out to your drunken friend. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

“Don’t you honey me,” Wanda spits out, “And don’t look at me as if I’m some sort of fool. If anyone’s a fool, it’s you, Sharon!”

Oh no. You feel yourself going light-headed.

That’s when Ari jumps up on stage, looking huge and menacing as he strides over to Wanda. He grabs her by the upper arm roughly, “Carla, shut the fuck up right now if you know what’s good for you,” He hisses.

“Well look who it is! Mister Knight in Shining Armour, here to save the fucking day!” Wanda laughs, and at least she’s not speaking into the mic anymore, but did it even matter? “Y/N doesn’t need your help, Ari! She’s a fucking slut who enjoys sleeping with other people’s boyfriends, and she’s proud of it! You’re proud of it, aren’t you, Y/N!?”

You’re in no condition to answer her question. Now, your body seems to be experiencing rapid hot and cold flushes. Icicles, then fire, then icicles, then fire again. And your face feels like it’s been stabbed by a thousand pins and needles. It’s a sensation you’ve never felt before, almost like an out of body experience. Like you’re floating except it feels terrible instead of liberating, and there’s absolutely no way for you to escape the impending doom.

Someone’s directed the live band to start playing again, and the room fills with music to combat the earth-shattering silence. But you know everyone’s eyes are still on the spectacle that’s taking place on stage. Everyone’s looking at you. And it’s like all your insecurities from the past month had come back in full force. Except so much worse, because now everyone thinks you’re a slut.

To your horror, Wanda goes to speak into the mic again. But Ari quickly snatches it out of her hands, throwing it aside and shooting her a glare, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

“Okay, Wanda, you’ve made your point,” Sharon interjects gently. “I don’t know why you’d spread all these lies about your own best friend who’s been nothing but good to you, but it’s done now. Let’s just go.” Again, she reaches for Wanda’s hand, only for the latter to shoot her a sneer.

“Stop acting so holier-than-thou, Sharon. You’re not worth shit anymore, not since you got dumped,” Wanda laughs, suddenly aware of who exactly is on stage with her. She glances from you to Ari to Sharon, a look of evil glee spreading across her drunken features. “Why don’t you ask Ari again why he dumped you? Or better yet, why don’t you ask your new best friend Y/N?”

The band’s now playing an upbeat song, the lead singer urging everyone to get up on the dance floor in a bid to distract them. A few people do, but most stay planted in their seats, their focus still on the stage. Not that any of that even matters, not when Wanda’s words hit you like a ton of bricks. Out of your peripheral, you sense Sharon inhale sharply from next to you, and a deep feeling of dread starts spreading across your chest.

“Curtis, get the fuck up here and deal with her,” Ari seethes through gritted teeth. Curtis rolls his eyes, slowly making his way up to the stage like a panther going on a leisurely stroll.

“She sleeps with everyone’s boyfriend!” Wanda explodes, pointing another accusatory finger at you. “She doesn’t care about ruining relationships, all Y/N cares about is herself, Sharon! That’s why she’s been sleeping with Ari for months behind your back! And I kept her secret because I was being a good friend to her! Little did I know she fucked my boyfriend too!”

“That’s it, you’re fucking done,” Ari yanks Wanda off the stage, roughly pushing her down the steps all while keeping an iron grip on her forearm.

Thankfully, and yet a little too late, a stage hand drops the curtains. Dramatically, they fall down, shielding you from the stare and gossip of the audience. But you don’t feel any better. No, all you feel is pure, frozen shock. And the chaotic pantomime continues, even with the stage curtains now drawn.

“She’s been fucking Ari this whole time! She even fucked him out in the open at that frat party. In front of everyone, because that’s the type of slut she is!” Wanda cries out, stumbling over her words that act like bullets directed straight for Sharon. And, of course, you. “And she fucked Curtis too that night! Like the biggest fucking whore in the whole world! It’s true ‘cause he just told me! And God knows what she did with Steve, she probably let him smash too! As if slutting around on one campus wasn’t enough, she had to target a guy from a different college, and–”

She’s cut off by Ari plastering his huge hand over her mouth, all while she struggles and fights against him. He continues dragging her down the steps before throwing her into Curtis’ arms. Immediately, Wanda pacifies, grabbing on to Curtis for dear life while the buzzcut-haired man holds her gingerly.

“Get her out of here. I don’t care where the fuck you take her, I just want her gone.” Ari orders, narrowing his eyes when Curtis opens his mouth, “Don’t fucking argue with me, Everett. Go.”

Curtis rolls his eyes again, cautiously taking hold of Wanda who shuts up momentarily when she notices who’s holding her. She looks up at him with shining drunken eyes. “Curtis! You came back for me! Oh, I forgive you for fucking Y/N! I know she’s a huge slut and she probably seduced you! It wasn’t your fault at all, baby, I know that! Please let me be your girlfriend again, Curtis, please, I’ll do anything–”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Curtis grunts as he drags Wanda towards the exit. Thankfully, she’s docile enough in his arms, and easily goes with him.

Leaving carnage in her wake.

They all think I’m a slut, you think it again, still frozen in place. And I am! I am, I am, I am! I’m a backstabbing slut and this is what I deserve. Total public humiliation.

You pull yourself out of whatever catatonic state your body wants to shut you down into. The stage curtains are drawn and you’re protected from all the stares of the guests, and yet you feel like you can still hear the buzz of their whispers. The gossip formulating, your name on the tips of all their tongues. Spoken with disdain and disgust. Oh, you want nothing more than to just shut down and disappear. But you can’t. You can’t shut down yet, not yet. Instead, you force yourself to face Sharon head on, and come clean about what you should’ve come clean about ages ago.

“Sharon, please, just let me expl–”

“It’s not true, is it?” Sharon says slowly. Her cheeks look red, her eyes stricken, as if Wanda’s drunken bombshell has reached out and slapped her across the face. Her mouth downturned as if she’s about to cry, and yet she’s using every fibre of her being to hold herself together.

Ari chooses that moment to come up next to you, instinctively putting his hand on your shoulder. And Sharon looks from him to you back to him again. And then her face falls, and it’s like it’s all happening in slow motion and you’ve got a front row seat to someone’s heart being broken in real-time. Her face crumples as realisation dawns on her, and a whimpering sound leaves her mouth.

“It is true…” She breathes.

“I am so, so sorry,” You begin, not even knowing how to start. You feel numb and disorientated, like Wanda’s screaming expose has hit you like a freight train you may never recover from. And yet you know not to be selfish enough to make it all about you in this moment, not when Sharon looks so betrayed right in front of you. And yet a tear rolls down your cheek as you look at her, “Sharon, please understand how sorry I am. I know I should’ve told you before, there’s literally no excuse–”

“You’re right, there isn’t.” She cuts you off coldly, but the iciness doesn’t reach her eyes which shine with a mix of tears and betrayal. “How could you? You were supposed to be my friend. Th-This whole time I thought you were my friend…”

“Hey, leave her alone,” Ari interjects, positioning himself in front of you protectively. “If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me. She’s already been through enough tonight.”

“DON’T YOU DARE DEFEND HER, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT!” Sharon bursts out in a blaze of fury, “For once in your life, show me a little bit of respect and don’t fucking defend the girl you cheated on me with right to my face! I was your girlfriend once upon a time, Ari. And you act like it meant nothing.”

Her voice breaks at the end, and she fiercely wipes away her tears. It smears up her makeup too, but she looks like she’s past the point of caring.

“All I’m saying is to leave Y/N out of this, Sharon. Whatever happened between me and her wasn’t her fault at all. You and I can discuss this privately.” Ari says, his tone hard and serious. He’s standing tall, as if being exposed for your joint betrayal has him completely unfazed. You, on the other hand, feel like you’re about two feet tall.

Sharon looks at Ari incredulously, before her eyes shift back to you as if she can’t help it. “I trusted you, Y/N.” She says brokenly, “I..I liked you. I liked you so much. You have no idea how much I…” Her voice trails off for a second before it hardens: “…and this whole time you were going behind my back.”

You swallow harshly, “I’m so sorry. Please, I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. But just believe me when I tell you that I’m so, so genuinely sorry. Wh-When me and Ari started… I didn’t even know you back then and I know that doesn’t excuse it–”

“IT DOESN’T EXCUSE IT!” Sharon screams, and beyond her shoulder you can see a few people peeping through the curtains as if to continue watching the show. “It doesn’t excuse it at all, Y/N! You had so many chances where you could’ve come clean to me, but you chose to lie to my fucking face.” She laughs bitterly, as if she can’t believe all this is actually happening. “Oh God, how stupid could I have been? All those times when I was crying to you about my breakup, or when I was trying to help you get through your boy troubles… All that time you were sleeping with Ari and I never suspected a damn thing?! Oh, you must’ve been laughing your ass off behind my back!”

You scramble to explain yourself, you want to say more, but it’s like your throat’s closing up now. Like you’re experiencing some type of allergic reaction. Your skin feels like it’s crawling, like your self-disgust has just boiled over the edge and you’re covered in the shame and guilt that’s been festering inside you. Except it’s now also mixed with the sheer humiliation from everything you’ve just experienced. What could you possibly say to explain yourself? She was right. She was one thousand percent right.

They were all right about you, the voice in your head cackles. Steve and Wanda and probably everyone else who’s thinking it right now. You’re a slut.

“Leave her the fuck alone, Sharon.” Ari threatens lowly, dropping his hand from your shoulder and taking a menacing step towards the blonde. “I mean it. Not another word.”

Sharon tilts her head, and you find her looking at you. Really looking at you. As if she’s searching the plains of your face to detect the level of your honesty. And you want to look away, want to look down because of how humiliated you are. But you look back at her meekly, feeling like a fucking backstabbing rat. Oh God, why had you not just come clean to her weeks ago when the two of you had first started becoming friends? Were you truly that spineless? Were you really that much of a coward?

“Get out.” Sharon says coldly, the hurt on her face now replaced with an impenetrable mask of stone-cold indifference. “Get out of here, Y/N. I don’t want to look at you. I thought we were friends but it’s like I don’t even know you. And I never knew you. So just get out of here. GET OUT!”

Her venomous words make you jump. Your lower lip quivers, and you feel like the dirt at the bottom of everyone’s shoe. Ari turns around, tries to grab your hand but you back away quickly. Your heel catches on something and you stumble. Regaining your balance, you see Ari coming towards you, and Sharon staring you down from behind him. The pity and concern in his eyes, the pure betrayal in hers. Oh, you don’t want any of it! You just wish you’d disappear!

You take off into a run, your heels clacking on the wooden floor noisily but you don’t care. You do exactly what Sharon’s told you to do – you run. Gathering up your dress so it doesn’t get caught in your shoes. Oh, and who cares if it did? Who cares at all? Certainly not you.

You run out into the full banquet hall, trying not to meet anyone’s gaze. Trying to block out what they’re whispering. You know they’re talking about you; you know they’re looking at you as if you’re the biggest backstabbing whore in the whole world. Which you are. Oh, how spectacularly everything had fallen apart!

Somewhere behind you, you can hear Ari calling out your name. But you don’t stop, don’t look back. Not this time. You weave through the crowd, your tears blurring your vision but you don’t dare stop. Out into the hotel lobby, down the marble steps adorned in grand red carpeting with gold tassels. Feeling like a warped Cinderella who wasn’t the helpless princess after all, but instead the backstabbing villain. Out the front entrance, and the doorman stares at you but you don’t care, and the outside cold hits you like a ton of bricks.

As if on cue, the wind roars loudly, slapping you in the face with all its might and fury. And you remember earlier tonight, when you’d wondered whether the winds had been trying to warn you about something. Oh, your intuition had been right! Why hadn’t you just stayed at home?! Now, the wind swirls around you threateningly, and you just stand there in the bitter cold, as if daring it to attack you. All around you, the grass rustles, the trees cower, the very ground seems to shake as gust after gust hits at you, and your hair comes loose, and you’re about to start crying in earnest, and–

“Y/N, wait! Stop!” Ari grabs your hand, his familiar warmth shooting through your entire body. He pulls you into his arms, embracing you fiercely. Your burst into ferocious tears that you hadn’t realised you’d been holding in. Loud, wracking sobs muffled by his strong chest as he holds you close. “I’m so sorry that happened, baby. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I did!” You cry, another gust of wind hitting you like a wake-up call, and you push off of him with tears streaming down your face. “I did deserve it, Ari! I deserved all of it!”

There’s an invisible whirlpool around the two of you. Maybe you’re imagining it in your delirium, but it’s like a swirling of energy, entrapping the two of you together on this stormy night. The wind howls around you both, ringing in your ears as if to warn you again, telling you this is all wrong, wrong, wrong!

And Ari looks at you like his whole heart’s in his eyes, and they glisten with emotion that you’ve never seen in him before. And he holds you close, and cups your face. He wipes your tears as if to soothe you, but how could you soothe someone who was so beyond repair that perhaps repair wasn’t even an option anymore? How!?

“Let me take you home,” he whispers, “I don’t want you to be alone tonight. Please, let’s just go. And I swear I’ll deal with everything; I’ll deal with all of them. I’ll make them pay for hurting you. Just please, stop crying and come with me.”

“No!” You snatch your hand out of his and step back, shaking your head fiercely. “Don’t you get it, Ari? We’re not right together and we never will be!”

“That’s not true–”

“Yes, it is!” You sob freely, “How many people do we have to hurt for it to sink in that we just don’t work?” Ferociously, you wipe at your tears, not that it matters when new one’s flow down your cheeks freely, “All we ever do is fight, Ari! We just run around in circles and fight and hurt each other and hurt everyone around us! And now I know it’s ‘cause we just don’t work, and we never will!”

“No.” Ari says firmly, “I’m the one who hurt people, okay? Not us. Just me. And you got caught in the crossfire and I’m fucking sorry.”

You shake your head, “It doesn’t matter anymore. None of it matters, Ari. They all think I’m a slut and they’re all right! And I’ll never live this down and I don’t deserve to live it down! So just leave me alone, okay? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“NO!” Ari roars, louder than the wind itself, and louder than you too. “No, I’m not fucking leaving you alone! I told you that I care about you, and I’m never gonna leave you alone. So just… just come on. Let me take you home, baby. I’ll make it better, I promise.”

The blustering winds form an impenetrable current around the two of you, whistling and swirling with rogue leaves like a tornado that you seem to be trapped in with him. And in an ironic way, it perfectly encapsulates your relationship with him: a whirlwind. A tornado. A constant uphill battle filled with fights and arguments, always one step forward and then two steps back. Maybe it was time to just give up, to come to terms with how it just didn’t work between you and him.

You sniffle weakly, “Nothing can make this better. Whatever there was between us, it was never going to work. Not when it started out as a lie.”

Tenderly, yet charged with an electric emotion you can’t quite pinpoint, he cups your face again. Your freezing wet cheeks welcome the warmth they bring, despite everything.

“I’ll make it better,” Ari repeats, softer this time. He presses his forehead against yours. “You mean more to me than Sharon or anyone else ever did. And I know our relationship started out wrong because I lied to you. Constantly. I know that. But I promise you I’ll make it all better and you’ll never hurt again how you’re hurting now.”

You feel like you’re at a crossroads. You’ve gone through more emotional turmoil in these past few weeks than you have in any other point of your life. And each time, you’ve fallen back into Ari’s arms in a heap of tears. So, what about this time? Would you do the same thing again? Another circle? Another fight? Another heartbreak?

“I’m in love with you.” Ari breathes. And in that moment, even the winds stand still. And his eyes look like twin oceans with stars scattered inside them. And those stars in his eyes, those stars get bigger and bigger till they’re all you can see. And you can’t hear anything anymore, except for his breathing and yours. And you can feel only one thing, and that’s his hands cupping your cheeks as he gazes at you with a look of desperation mixed with something else. Something passionate. And honest. “I’m in love with you, okay? I’ve never been in love before but I’m pretty positive that I love you, and I promise I’ll protect you from ever being hurt again.”

In the distance, beyond his shoulder, a branch from a tree falls to the ground. As if unable to stand the wrath of the wind on this night. It crashes down, all the way down till it’s no longer a part of what it had once always known. You focus on it for a split second, before some kind of magnetic pull makes you look back to Ari.

“Why does it always take some sort of traumatic event for you to say these things?” You whisper, letting his words bounce off you. Not letting them permeate into your heart and set camp, not allowing them to let you hope. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted to hear from him!?

“I’ve felt this way for a while,” he says earnestly, “I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But I told you, I’m ready now. For everything. I love you, and I want everyone to know it.” He draws you closer, cradling your face in his warm hands. How are they so warm on such a cold night? How was he so warm when you felt so cold, cold, cold?! So freezing cold from the inside out?

I love you. I’m in love with you. I promise I’ll protect you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Oh, his words were finding their way into your heart! You take a timid step closer, allow yourself to look into his eyes. Everything was crashing and burning around you. Your life was ruined, and so was your reputation. Everyone thought you were a slut and you had no friends left at all. But Ari was here. Solid. Real. Right in front of you. Saying all the right things on a night that had gone so horrifically wrong. Should you allow yourself this? Did you deserve it? Did he?

His lips have barely brushed against yours when you hear a loud shatter right next to you.

“You told me you weren’t going to be with him tonight.”

Steve. Standing less than a foot away from you. A glass bottle lying broken by his feet, the smell of vodka strongly emanating from him. His hair falls over his forehead, swaying gently in the roaring wind. His eyes black, blown out, barely there. Hooded, like he’s sad. Betrayed. Oh, how did he even get here!?

Your jaw drops open, “Steve, I–”

“How fucking dare you show your face in front of her after everything you put her through?” Ari growls, pushing you behind him before squaring up to Steve. “Get the fuck out of here, Rogers. Before I break your neck.”

You swallow harshly, “Ari, don’t…”

Steve sidesteps Ari, and those sad eyes look straight at you. Penetrating down straight to your soul.

“You kissed me earlier tonight, but now you’re choosing him.”

He says it matter-of-factly, his words slurring slightly but still clear as day. You feel a pang in your heart. From your peripheral, you see Ari bristle at Steve’s words, clearly taken aback by what he’s just revealed.

You open your mouth, but it feels all dried up. Like you’re back in the middle of the stage with an audience of people watching you get exposed for your betrayal.

“You don’t have to answer him.” Ari says to you, quickly recovering and grabbing your hand protectively before turning back to sneer at Steve. “Get the hell out of here. Tonight isn’t the night for your bullshit.”

“He’ll only hurt you,” Steve says, ignoring Ari and looking directly at you. “I told you; all Ari ever does is hurt people.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Steve, or else I’ll–”

“Or else you’ll what, Ari? I don’t give a fuck what you do.” Steve finally looks at the brunet, squaring up to him till they’re both face to face. Each as big as the other, each as menacing as the other. But that’s where the similarities end. Ari looks wary, on edge. And Steve? Steve looks like he has nothing left to lose.

“Oh yeah? Is that why you’ve been dodging me all these weeks?” Ari barks out a laugh, but it sounds hollow, almost forced. And his eyes keep darting between Steve and back to you. “I’m telling you for the last time, Rogers. Walk away so she doesn’t have to see me kill you.”

“Stop acting like some kind of fucking hero, Ari. You of all people should know that’s not what you are.” Steve fires back, “You’ll hurt her, just like you hurt–”

“My car’s parked around the corner. You know what it looks like. Go, I don’t want you to see this.” Ari says to you, his hand dropping yours as he keeps his eyes on the blonde in front of him. You watch as his fists clench by his sides.

There’s a pause before Steve laughs. And just like Ari’s from earlier, Steve’s laugh sounds hollow too. Like neither of them are enjoying this confrontation. And neither are you, and yet your feet remain planted to the ground. The winds are still howling around you, encasing the three of you in a whirlpool. And within it, you sense the strongest feeling of foreboding you’ve felt yet.

“You still haven’t told her, have you?” Steve accuses.

A dark, anxious feeling pools inside your chest, twisting your veins, reaching straight for your heart. More secrets? “Tell me what, Ari?”

“Go to my car, I’m serious.”

“I heard your little speech from just now. I heard all your promises. How you’ll never hurt her again,” Steve shoves Ari. And it’s a drunken shove, but a hard one. “How you’ll protect her,” another shove, “How you’re in love with her.”

“Shut the fuck up, Steve. You have no idea what you’re–”

“Tell me, is that what you told my sister too?”

Everything stops. Even the wind, with how fierce and mighty it had been all night, comes to a screeching halt. It’s like the grass stops rustling, the trees stop swaying. You think your heart has stopped too. Steve’s sister? Kira? Ari knew her? The dark, anxious feeling doubles up, multiplies in a millisecond. You feel like your insides have turned to tar, and your blood freezes in the worst way possible.

“Wh-What’s he talking about, Ari?” Your question comes out soft, timid. As if you’re afraid of the answer.

Ari’s head whips around, and his cheeks are flushed. His jaw tensed, his eyes wild. Quickly, he shakes his head, “He doesn’t know what he’s saying, okay? Clearly, he’s drunk, and high off of something, and he doesn’t know what he’s saying–”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID KIRA EVER DO TO YOU, ARI?!” Steve erupts, making you jump. Ari flinches too, but Steve closes in on him, his dark eyes blazing. “What did she ever do to you? Except trust you?” He laughs bitterly, “Maybe that was her mistake. Trusting someone like you.” And then he looks straight at you, “Don’t make the same mistake, Y/N. He’ll run you out of this place just like he did my sister.”

Your lower lip quivers, “What do you mean?”

Ari grabs your hand and pulls you back, “Let’s just go. He doesn’t know what he means. He has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.”

Like it’s a hot poker, you pull your hand out of his grip, staring up at him incredulously.

“I have no fucking clue, huh? As if I haven’t been in the same house as her, watching her lock herself up in her room and cry for the past fucking year!” Steve says, and this time he squares up to Ari again, grabbing the brunet’s collar to make him look at him. “As if I haven’t watched her become a fucking shell of her former self, as if I haven’t watched her lose her smile, lose her personality, lose her fucking will to interact with anyone. All because of you!”

Now it’s Ari’s turn to shove Steve, and he does it with full force. Steve stumbles backwards, and Ari looks at him in fury. And yet he doesn’t say anything, nothing at all. And the sticky black tar coats your heart and starts seeping into your lungs, making it hard for you to breathe. Making it hard for you to make sense of what’s going on. Oh god, what exactly was Steve saying?! And why wasn’t Ari denying anything?!

“You can’t even deny it anymore, can you?” Steve spits out, “And now you’re out here actin’ like a fuckin’ superhero, promising Y/N the entire world. Well, why don’t you answer my question, Levinson? Is that what you promised Kira too? Is that what you fucking promised her before you spread those pictures of her to every fucking person you know?”

That’s when you feel like the wind’s been knocked out of you. You feel faint, dizzy. Like you’re no longer real. Ari turns to look at you, and you can’t even begin to decipher his expression but it’s like you no longer want to look at him. Pictures? Like nudes? Ari? Spreading private pictures of Kira around campus??? You shake your head, willing him to say something, to deny it all vehemently.

“She’s my sister,” Steve’s voice breaks, an outpouring of emotion that you’ve never ever seen from him. His face red, his fists clenched but not in anger, more so in desperate sadness. “She’s my sister and you were my friend and you fucking broke her, Ari. She couldn’t handle it, everyone talking about her, laughing at her. You ran her out of school, and you broke her. And now you’re gonna do the same thing to Y/N too.”

Ari swallows, looking stricken how you’ve never seen him look before. He sucks in his breath, and when he speaks, it sounds like it’s a stranger talking: “Don’t even act like you have Y/N’s best interests at heart, after what you did to her. And you have no idea what you’re sayi–”

“This is who he is!” Steve erupts again, this time looking straight at you, “My sister was so fucking trusting, she did whatever he asked her to. She sent him pictures that were supposed to be private, all ‘cause he told her to. She never should’ve trusted an asshole like him but she did, she trusted him with everything she had, and now look at her.” He shakes his head, his entire body shaking from either anger or grief or both. “And Kira, she was so broken over it, she told me never to mention it again to anyone, she made me promise not to. But you need to know who he really is. He’s a fucking asshole who’ll hurt anyone! He hurt Kira, he hurt Sharon, and he’ll hurt you too.”

“Let’s go,” Ari says to you, gathering himself and grabbing your hand, “Let’s just go and I’ll explain everything.”

For the second time, you snatch your hand away from his and shake your head, your mind racing and you think you’re going to be sick. Oh God, how many more times would Ari lie to you? “Don’t touch me.”

“Baby, I said I’d explain–”

“You knew Steve’s sister this whole time?”

“Yes, but–”

“Wh-Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you mention it even once?” Your voice sounds high, like you’re about to start crying from shock. And betrayal. You suck in your breath. He’d been hiding this from you, so what else was he hiding?

He tries to grab your hand again, but you take a step back in disbelief.

“Don’t you dare touch me. Y-You’re a liar! You lied again. You told me you wouldn’t lie to me but you lied again!” Oh, you feel like you don’t even know him anymore! Did you ever truly know him to begin with? You think back to Kira, so anxious that she couldn’t even look you in the eye. Had Ari really hurt her so badly? Spread around nude pictures of her and ruined her life and then continued on with his own as if none of it had even happened? “H-How could you do that to her? How could you–”

Ari opens his mouth to speak, but that’s when Steve tackles him. You scream, caught off-guard as the two behemoths fall to the ground. The wind resumes its wicked gusts, and this time it’s like it’s taunting you. Taunting you for forcing yourself time and time again to live in this fairytale utopia where Ari and you could ever possibly work. Each slap of cold air on your face reminding you that nothing, nothing in the whole world, could ever make the two of you work.

And maybe it was written in the stars, maybe this fight was bound to happen between the two of them. And yet you can’t make sense of it, watching with stricken horror as Steve grabs Ari’s collar again.

“You sick, twisted bastard! Fuck you for ruining my sister!” Steve punches him, but Ari quickly dodges it. And Steve’s movements are slower, sluggish. You feel sick thinking of how much he’s had to drink tonight. He was already drunk hours ago when he’d showed up at your dorm room, but now? Now he looks doubly wasted, teetering on the verge of no return and completely past the point of even caring about it.

Steve’s fuelled by alcohol and a tragic rage. No, rage was the wrong word, because the anger he was exhibiting now was nothing like when he’d punched the wall or when he’d lost his cool at basketball practice. Now, it felt different. Like he was charged by his own sadness, and an underlying sense of resignation. Like a part of him didn’t care what would happen to him by the end of tonight. Like he was getting all his punches in before he… before he…

“Stop!” You finally find your voice and yell out, but it doesn’t carry, your words getting lost in the wind. Ari shoves Steve off of him, dragging both of them to their feet. Steve throws another punch, and Ari dodges it just in time so instead of his fist connecting with his jaw, it slams painfully against his shoulder. But Ari doesn’t flinch.

“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about!” Ari snarls, drawing his fist back to punch back. That’s when you throw all caution to the wind and run forward, coming between them.

“Don’t, Ari! He’s drunk, and he took all this medication, and…” your voice trails off, but the worry is evident in your tone as the realisation hits you. His medication for his mood swings. How much of it had he taken? Ari pauses, still glaring daggers at Steve, who looks back at him just as venomously.

“HIT ME, LEVINSON! DO IT, JUST HIT ME!” Steve shouts, louder than the wind itself. “It’s not like I’ve got shit to lose, so go right ahead! I’ve said what I had to say and now I’m fucking done.” His face twists, veins popping in his forehead, his blonde locks brushing over his wild eyes as they rest on you. His gaze softens somewhat, like a drunken, tragic hero. “I’m done, Y/N. It’s okay, I’m done. And I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for scaring you. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”

Why was he talking like that? You have no time to contemplate his words, however. Because Ari steps forward in front of you, his fist clenched to his side. And you’ve never seen him look this angry, and once more he draws his fist back, and you try to find your voice to stop him but nothing comes out. And the wind hits its crescendo, and there’s a clap of thunder serving as an exclamation point to this disastrous evening. Your entire body jerks, as if expecting something terrible to happen, and you close your eyes and you brace yourself…

A loud thud. You open your eyes, a scream getting caught in your throat when you see Steve on the ground. Motionless.

“Ari, what did you do!?” You cry.

Ari turns to you, breathing hard and yet he’s got a confused look on his face. His fist is still clenched but he shakes his head in shock.

“Nothing. I swear I didn’t do anything, he just… He just collapsed.”

You run over, crouch down next to Steve, trying to survey any damage. Sure enough, his face looks pristine, apart from a bluish-purple hue to his pale skin that you hadn’t noticed before. No signs of having been punched, however. But it’s his eyes that catch your attention, stricken and looking straight up. Almost like he’s unresponsive, when just a second ago he’d been on his feet and just fine.

“Oh god, oh my god. Steve!?” Your voice goes high with panic. With trembling hands, and quick, flurrying movements, you shake his shoulders. But all that does is make his head loll back, and he’s still staring up at the sky with a glassy look on his face, not reacting to you at all. Almost like he’s on another planet. Trying to keep your panic at bay, you quickly try and feel for his pulse, and that’s when you really start to lose it.

“Oh my god, Ari, he-he doesn’t have a pulse! I can’t find his pulse, I c-can’t– ARI, DO SOMETHING!”

Ari, who up until this moment seemed to be frozen in shock, staring at his still clenched fist as he stood over the two of you, seems to finally snap out of it. He springs into action, pushing you aside and crouching down next to the blond. He grabs his wrist while you look on, horrified beyond belief over what exactly was happening in front of your eyes.

He knew that mixing alcohol with his medication was dangerous, you think to yourself, another bout of sick realisation dawning on you. He’s pre-med, he’s studying to be a doctor. Of course, he knew! Had he… had he meant to do this? Oh God…

“He’s got a pulse,” Ari mutters, “He’s got one but it’s weak.”

Tears gather in your eyes as your head starts to spin, “H-He was on this medication, he told me earlier F-For his mood swings or something. And he was drinking too, and he probably took his pills and he drank and, oh God, I should’ve done something! I didn’t think it was that bad, I didn’t–”

“We need to call 911.” Ari says firmly, and you’re relieved that at least one of you is keeping their wits about them. You don’t know whether Ari’s just good under pressure or whether he’s in genuine shock too, judging by the frozen look on his face. Nevertheless, you watch him as he stands up, getting his phone out of his pocket and dialling the number.

And, almost like in cruel irony, the howling winds that had been swirling around you have now gone silent. Deathly silent. It’s like the three of you are in a vacuum, and yet you can barely even hear Ari talking on the phone. All you can hear is your fucking heart in your chest, and the racing of your own thoughts: this is my fault, this is my fault, this is my fault…

“Come on, Steve!” You urge, grabbing his hand and almost recoiling because of how limp and cold it feels. He’d been so warm when you’d kissed him hours earlier, so warm and soft. And it seems like lightyears ago, that kiss followed by the breathless silence. How you’d noted how he looked like he was one sip away from disaster. Oh, why hadn’t you done more? You could have sobered him up, but you’d been so wrapped up in your own problems. And now?

“P-Please, don’t do this. Just wake up. Or say something, just please!” And you don’t know why you’re having such a reaction – wasn’t it you who’d told Steve hours ago how you and him barely even knew each other? How there was nothing between the two of you? How he’d ruined all of that? Then why, why, why was your heart burning up right now? Like a ball of fire deep in your chest, waiting to explode. You tap his cheek desperately, noting the blueish tone of his lips, wondering why you hadn’t noticed that earlier. Beating yourself up over it.

“They’re coming,” you hear Ari say behind you, “An ambulance is on its way. It’s gonna be okay.”

But you don’t even hear him, too busy thinking back to when Steve had been in your dorm room earlier tonight. The sad look in his eyes as he’d turned to leave after your kiss. You can feel your tears soaking up your freezing cold cheeks now as you squeeze his hand.

“I forgive you, okay? I forgive you! Just wake up, please! Steve, just wake up! Didn’t you hear me? I forgive you!”

Your tears blur your vision, and his face becomes a pale blur. Fiercely, you wipe your eyes with your one free hand. And vaguely, you can feel Ari’s hand on your shoulder. And his is so warm. And Steve’s is so cold. Hot and cold. Cold and hot. You don’t even notice when you feel your own hand being squeezing lightly.

“That’s good,” Steve says faintly, his lips barely moving. You gasp and move closer, hoping you haven’t imagined it. His eyes flutter gently, like he doesn’t want to keep them open anymore. But his face looks relaxed, so relaxed that it’s scary, and it feels like you’re looking at a ghost. Those blue lips part once more. “Don’t worry about me. I’m comfortably numb, remember? I think I finally made it last…”

“No, no, no, no…” you scramble, watching as his eyes slip shut. You squeeze his hand again, shake at his shoulders, tap his cheek. Oh no, no, no, no. And all around you, the trees start swaying once more. The great gusts of wind continue, almost like they never even stopped, and another branch falls to the ground. The grass rustles beneath where Steve lies, and the moonlight shines on his face, making his pallor look a deathly kind of beautiful. Like an angel.

And it reminds you of the first night you’d met him. The night you’d dreamed of him. He’d looked like an angel in your dreams too.

The wind whistles with great might, and it sounds like a cackle. As if it’s mocking you. And Steve is still, and Ari’s still holding firmly on to you, and you can barely hear the blare of the siren as the ambulance slowly approaches.

A/N: .....did Steve just.... OH MY GODDD. Well, if you made it this far then congratulations!!! I really hope y'all liked it. I'm so scared it didn't live up to expectations. I KNOW there was no smut but you guys I tried my best to see where I could fit it in... I just couldn't justify putting it in anywhere in the story and it actually making sense, pls understand! UGHHH I'm just so insecure about this chapter, but if you liked it PLESE PLEASE let me know what you think! Any thoughts, comments, feedback would genuinely be appreciated SO much like SO SO much omfg. Like any favourite parts etc? I really wanted to focus on romantic scenes between reader and the two guys and i hope i showed that! BUT YEAH PLS LMK WHAT YOU THINK ILY ILY.

Okay and as usual, here are some questions!! (y'all don't have to answer them, but just in case anyone does!!!)

Which romantic scene did you prefer? Steve coming up reader's window or Ari taking reader on a picnic? OR NEITHER???

What are your thoughts on Carla Wanda after this chapter??? LMFAOO.

Why was Sharon more upset with reader than with Ari? Hmm.....

Did Ari really spread Kira's nudes around :( ?? Or do you think there's more to the story?

TEAM ARI OR TEAM STEVE? ( if he's okay that is damn )

AND THAT'S IT! Hope y'all enjoyed it! I'm gonna stop yapping now bahahaha byeee ily ily ily

[cxlamarisalxmi]

Being Miguel’s daughter and hosting Venom [2]

[Platonic One-Shot]

c/w: fighting, depictions of violence and gore, angst, female pronouns (she/her), feminine gendered terms used to describe reader, Venom is a big softie, only for you though 🤭

a/n: this is marked as part two because the first one shot was the first part, the drabble was more of an introduction to the idea 😭 I understand there might be some confusion about how these parts are set up but yeah the drabble was intended to introduce the idea more than it was meant to be an actual part of the series— like an extended epigraph… sort of

—

It was raining the day your father had decided to return to your dimension— the dark and gloomy rain clouds above thick and heavy as they devoured the sky.

With them they brought raindrops thick and heavy in density that were spat out in a torrential downpour. Falling in copious and rapid quantities.

You had been sitting perched on the corner of a building’s roof, observant and watchful as you patrolled the streets from your perch.

The darkness that had followed the overcast night sky left the street lamps and starkly bright city lights bright and prominent in their glow. And your sensitive and finely tuned auditory perception picked up on the sounds of tires driving through rainwater on the pavement. The sound of particularly nocturnal people walking, bustling and moving about— the way their shoe soles stepped on the soaked through concrete of the sidewalk, some splashing as they came across puddles in the divets of the ground.

Everything that involved your senses and being aware of the world around you sharpened dramatically, now keen on focusing on the world around you. Listening starkly for any kind of traumatic event occurring.

“I like the rain.”

“Me too.”

“The atmosphere is relaxing. We feel at peace.”

You couldn’t help but agree, the weather more than accommodating in the sense your mood had improved drastically.

It had been two weeks since your father had made his appearance, and since then you had been tightly wound and more than a little hurt at his abrupt intrusion. Even more hurt at the way he had just left without so much as an ounce of effort in trying to get you to talk to him.

He had called your name, and he did speak to you— that was something you could acknowledge, but the fact he hadn’t bothered trying beyond that spoke a lot about what your relationship had come to. What it still was.

He didn’t care about you, he never had and the encounter from a little less than half a month ago gave you the impression that he never would.

A small part of you could admit that you had hoped maybe he would come after you, chase you down, take you into his arms and hold you tenderly. Lovingly.

An even larger part overwhelmed that feeling with a cold and bitter indifference that made you more angry than sad. Sparked to life when he left you behind in a home you didn’t know, with people you didn’t trust— and festered to much more significant levels as the years continued to pass with not a single word from him.

You shouldn’t have expected him to make an effort to fix your relationship, and you hated that you were so bothered that he hadn’t tried at all. You should’ve known that he hadn’t ever intended to be involved with you at all. And you should’ve just accepted that your relationship was beyond fixing— and there was no point in trying to repair something that had died a long time ago. Irreparable— damaged and broken.

And whilst anger and hate had spread and taken over most of your heart and soul, there was still a small part inside that was more hurt than anything.

That small child inside that had depended on her father more than ever in the wake of her mother’s death. A little girl that had quickly learned he wasn’t dependable, she couldn’t count on him at all. And she was quick to learn that there wasn’t anyone who had her back, was on her side. It developed into her trusting absolutely no one— “the only one I can really trust.. is me.”

“[Y/Name]? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you murmured quiet and tame as you continued to watch over the city. The darkness and ache that had consumed your heart so very deeply at the remembrance of your father had dissipated when your friend had spoken to you. “I’m fine V.”

“Was it about him?”

You didn’t respond and they had expected that you wouldn’t, and didn’t say much after that. And you appreciated their understanding that you didn’t want to talk about them.

There was a moment of tranquility, peace in the loud bustle of your city as the rain continued to fall. But then your senses tingled as the familiar sound of a portal spinning open erupted behind you. There wasn’t a moment of stillness that you allowed before you were spitting webs at the wall behind the portal.

Miguel walked through the portal a moment later, it closed a second after and then you were launching yourself at him.

He may have not had the tingle at the expense he wasn’t even really changed like you had been. He hadn’t been bitten but had his genetic code changed, and his abilities came from a vial of liquid he injected directly into his bloodstream to keep his powers sharp and potent.

So, whilst he didn’t have the spider senses that tingled anytime danger was nearby, his natural instincts had been sharpened finely. Thus, he was able to bring up his arms as you drop kicked him into the wall you had slung your webs at.

Even though he was blocking his face protectively you had put enough strength behind the kick to hurt him, and he grunted as your kick connected sending him flying back.

[Y/Name] jumped to meet him against the brick wall and grabbed him by the throat, tightening her clawed fingers around his neck before she was pulling him from the wall and throwing him off the building to the street below.

The previous feeling of peace and content that had warmed her chest and blood had diminished, and was now replaced with thorough rage. Hot and ferocious.

[Y/Name] had sworn to Venom that she absolutely would resort to murder if her father ever returned to her universe, and here he was. So the alien didn’t falter nor make an effort to halt the anger that was slowly but surely filling his host’s body.

Another portal opened up behind her and she felt an itch of annoyance as she felt the familiar presence that made her senses tingle. Jessica Drew.

A snarl tugged at her features as she curled her lip and looked over her shoulder, a ferocious glare fierce and angry in her bright eyes.

“Venom.”

“Of course.”

Jessica stared as a thick, black matter pooled from her back and slid across her lean and muscular frame. The alien-like viscous oil gliding across every plane of her frame, concealing her entire white and blue suit in a tightened black version of it instead.

“[Y/Name],” Jessica began soft and quiet— an attempt to somehow quell the furious fire of rage she could feel hot and angry from where she stood several feet behind the young teenager. “I know what you must be feeling—”

“You don’t know shit.”

“You want to kill him. And I can’t let you do tha—”

Her sentence was cut short when she was suddenly thrown backwards, her senses had tingled but not nearly quick enough. And she had been sent backwards to the brick wall in consequence, she gaped at the O’hara stood in front of her on the edge of the roof.

She had turned to face Jessica with her back, and the blackened webbing surrounding her body seemed to pulse and tightened around her body. Every time she squirmed attempting to loosen them, cut them or escape they would just tighten. She resorted to calling out to [Y/Name] instead—

“Spider-Woman doesn’t kill people!”

[Y/Name] willed her mask to peel away, the small and thin tendrils crawling up her neck and hugging her forehead only made the harsh glare she threw at Jessica over her shoulder much darker. The snarl she gave baring abnormally sharp canines seemed to make her even more intimidating— it made Jessica uncomfortable how a simple look made a chill rake down her back.

“You’re right. But we do.”

And she shivered again at the alien voice that rumbled from the young adult’s chest. The words she spoke only succeeding in making her all the more uncomfortable and frightened. The tone she spoke in was deep and ferociously monstrous. And Jessica stared as the O’hara glared back for a single second before she jumped disappearing over the side of the roof.

[Y/Name] landed on the sidewalk paved along the side of the asphalt road, she jumped forward flipping out of the way as her father shot a web at the spot she occupied previously.

But he had jumped to meet her midair and they grappled as they fell back to the road, she managed to wrangle a hold on the back of his suit and brought forth Venom’s strength to throw him down the road before landing on it herself.

Miguel’s sharpened instincts flared aggressively as his young daughter launched a car at him. He spun around extending his arm forward simultaneously— the long and sharp blade on his forearm cutting the car cleanly in half. But she had been there to surprise him, lunging forward after she had thrown the car knowing he’d cut it in half opening up an ambush as she erupted in between each piece of the vehicle.

He gasped silently in shock at her appearance through the split and grunted when her punch connected to his face. Enough strength from her abilities coupled with Venom to send him flying back. And he flipped midair to land on his feet several feet down the street, he dug the blades on his forearms into the pavement to halt his movement as he looked up.

“I suffered! Alone! For twenty years, because of your cowardice!” [Y/Name] shouted as she stormed down the street, the mask Venom provided peeling back to reveal a ferocious snarl tugging her lips back and baring abnormally sharper canines.

“Protecting the security of the multiverse is not cowardly!”

“You knew invading another universe at the expense of your variant’s death was wrong! You knew your presence could collapse the very fabrics of a dimension! You always knew!” She roared in exclamation to his rather weak defense, having stopped just a few feet in front of him to properly put her feelings forward. Give him everything she had bottled up inside that had erupted suddenly since his abrupt appearance in her dimension two weeks ago.

Miguel just stood there, he swallowed thickly at her statement as he held eye contact with her. There wasn’t any indication he was intimidated by her on his face, his expression blank and guarded with slanted brows and narrowed eyes. But internally he was dreading the fight that would no doubt occur, she was anomoly after all.

“But— when she told you she was pregnant, when she told you she was excited to start your family.. what did you do? What did you do? You. Ran!”

“She was never meant to bear children! Never meant to give birth to you— that was not my fault!”

The audacity he had to ruin her life and not even acknowledge it only made [Y/Name] all the more furious, her blood boiling beneath her skin as she tightened her vicious snarl. “Not your fault?!”

[Y/Name] advanced forward, she reached to her left— her muscular forearm flexing beneath the deep black Venom suit as she gripped the side of another car and effortlessly lifted it throwing it at him.

He jumped to the side to dodge but she was there to meet him once again, having leapt from her spot on the street to put her knee in his face. He couldn’t bring his arms up quick enough to block it this time, and she forced him backwards when she utilized Venom’s alien strength to really hurt him.

Miguel grunted as her strike connected and he was thrown into the side of the building off to the side. She followed right behind him tearing her arm back and throwing it forward the second she was close enough. The hit had enough power and strength in it to send him right through the brick wall and into the empty warehouse within.

[Y/Name] landed several feet away from the form of her father on the ground, he was slow to get back to his feet but once he had he turned to face her. And she could tear his throat out at the scowl carved into his features, the conversation that followed only making her all the more infuriated.

“I’m not here for any other reason than to capture the anomaly in your dimension.” He says, a still blank and guarded look on his face. One that his young daughter matched only to a degree that looked more like she was enraged rather than unbothered.

“There’s no anomaly here, Venom and I would’ve picked up it’s unnatural scent immediately.” She reasoned.

“You wouldn’t know of it’s presence. Because it’s you.”

“What?”

“You are an anomaly, you were never meant to be born.. never meant to be bitten… never meant to host Venom. You don’t belong. You need to be contained.”

[Y/Name] froze, Venom inside stilling too as he and herself processed the words that had just fell from her father’s mouth. All was quiet for but a moment—

“You…”

Miguel watched as a dark look overtook her features, from enraged previously to downright hostile as her eyes darkened to an unseen degree. He felt a shiver of fear and intimidation shuck down his back in a brief burst.

“You bastard.”

The snarled words growled from her throat sent another ripple down his spine. And he swallowed thickly as the deep black viscous matter of Venom returned, and then she bore the same appearance as before.

The same lean and muscular frame but now entirely black with a white spider insignia, her mask’s eyes now more monstrous-like as opposed to the regular diamond shape as most spider people.

“Fine.”

[Y/Name] Venom snarled ferociously, Miguel watched as the alien bulked up his daughter. Not so much so that it wasn’t proportionate but enough to have him breathe out a brief exhale of uncertainty and anxiety.

His daughter had become powerful in his absence, and he had caused the black hatred to plague her heart. The fact she only looked at him with hate and a fiery light of murder and bloodthirsty rage was his fault and his fault alone. He had no one to blame but himself.

So, he really had no one to blame for this fight that would occur one way or another. He wasn’t sure he could beat her, and for the first time in a long while he felt a surge of anxiousness brew to life in his stomach. His heartbeat slightly erratic at the new feeling of diminished confidence in his chest.

He knew this would be hard, he knew he was walking into this fight with a significant power difference, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t certain he’d keep his head. And Miguel had no one to blame for it—

But himself.

—

a/n: started writing out requests so expect to see those soon but don’t get too excited as I can’t promise when exactly they’ll be finished and posted, my classes are kicking my ass and my job fucking sucks so.. bear with me please and I hope you enjoyed!

—

Taglist: @violilaqrs @christinesdemoness1958 @erensbbg @nickey-diano @gamersansblog @ayyybee @raweggeater @shrekstoesblog @azzy-ozborn @nda-approval @9kaaulitz @jazjelspen @myconglomerateromance @sweetheartlizzie07 @nyx-does-stuff @krazy-kattzz @sparklyphantom @loser-alert @bath1lda

Sorry if I missed you on the taglist!

[mcmansionhell]

a fine selection of bonker facades from the DC suburbs

Howdy folks! In honor of Halloween, here are some of the scariest houses currently for sale in the ever-cursed suburbs of Washington, DC. It's been awhile since I checked in on this particular hotspot, and once more, it did not disappoint.

I'll just get this one out of the way. Long-time McMansion Hell-heads are well aware of this monster estate in Potomac, MD, once allegedly owned by a particular professional athlete who will not be named, because the house should suck on its own merit. The only nice thing I can say about this house is that the designers kept the materials and colors consistent, which adds some unity to what is, in reality, five turrets in a trench coat.

Some things, the economists tell us, are too big to fail. This is not one of them. Let's move on.

Many McMansions exist to mock the concept of architectural consistency and historical continuity. This is one of them. About every single type of expanded second-story window elaboration exists here: bay window, covered balcony, juliet balcony. None of them work. The house can't decide if its 19th century eclecticism or tony DC Georgian/Federal cocktail. The random cupola merely adds insult to injury.

I don't know where realtors learned how to do photoshop, but whoever taught them should have their Adobe licenses revoked. There's a certain type of McMansion I call a "hat house" - which is exactly what it sounds like. It's a house with multiple bays or masses and each has its own special hat. This is one of the most egregious examples because all of the hats are different shapes and scales. Not even the most Disney Theme Park pink sky and fairy lighting can mitigate the controlling aesthetic influence of hät.

No compilation of Bad Facades would be complete without at least one Frankentudor™. Rich people in America really like to harken back to the days of feudalism, yet uglier, more drab, and using materials mostly derived from petrochemicals. The lighting is not helping this house, which is about as gloomy, hulking, and bloated as they come.

I have some fondness for houses that derive new, inventive forms of being ugly. The spread eagle McMansion is one of them, two oblique wings with no real core. A corner lot specimen. This one is especially weird, with the quadruple portholes, the windowless bays, the mall foyer, and the hipped roof that's not quite clipped, complete with tacked on gables. Kind of neat, sad to say.

I know most of you won't agree, but I actually believe this is the worst McMansion of the set. The absolute banality of it, the out-of-proportion everything, the compound-like demeanor, the nonsensical spacing of the mind-numbingly identical windows. The most infuriating part is that whoever designed this had some kind of order, continuity, proportion in mind and just failed utterly at it, like Sideshow Bob stepping on all those rakes. I hate it!!!!

When rich people try to make overly-inflated temples to their dumb piles of money, it's deeply satisfying when they end up looking like this house, which is just a pile of roof and wall tacked on to the worst proportioned portico imaginable. Classic McMansion Hubris. Let us all laugh.

Now we're getting into the more eldritch horror part of the list. Some houses make me wonder if I have the same set of eyeballs and conceptions of what "a house" looks like as other people. This one is playing dress up games with foam stickers. It looks like Steve's shirt from Blues Clues. It abuses the prairie muntins, which is an insult to my chosen hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Bad house.

Not enough time is devoted on this blog to bad modernism, though it would be rather generous to call this house modern. It's more like postmodernism trying to remember what modernism looked like and tripping down a flight of stairs collecting random masses and windows on the way down. Houses like this give modern architecture a bad name. It's borderline libel. Also it looks like it was made out of cardboard.

This brings us to our final, and objectively worst house:

I don't even know what to say about this freak of architecture. I don't know how it came together or why. I don't know what it wants or even pretends to do. It is a horrorshow. Gables protruding from random places, stealth roof fragments, windows too small for the walls they're embedded in, a weird cathedral-like entrance, the mosquito-infested pond, the worst example of realtor sky I've ever seen, all of it is terrible. It's haunted. Trick or Treat, but without the treat.

Anyway, that does it for this installment. If you're curious about more McModern badness, this month's Patreon bonus post will be to your liking!

Happy Halloween and Día de Los Muertos!

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including extra posts and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.

[icallhimjoey]

Reinvent Love

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, jealousy, accusations, soft fluff, season 3 of my flatmate!joe

Author’s note: the first cracks; they're here - and, again, you don’t need to have read define close or explain us, but it’ll obviously give you backstory, which might help!

Wordcount: 3.6K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

It was silly. Joe was being silly.

He knew it, and felt so stupid for it. Like, in hindsight, the worrying felt so dumb. The constant milling shit over didn’t change anything, there was no real point to it. Although, maybe you being on his mind in this... new manner was what summoned you last night.

You just showed up, talking about a crazy day, no sad pouts, no needy touches. Just jittery movements and a lot to tell him.

Joe kind of sat back on his sofa, spread out and leaning into his left elbow and watched you pace around his lounge. Something about something a colleague had said that then turned out to be lies and you found out something by overhearing a phone call you weren’t meant to overhear – Joe was barely following along. Didn’t really try his best to, if he was honest.

He was moreso paying attention to what you were actually doing – were you even aware that you had started grabbing random things he had left lying around on his coffee table, on the kitchen island, on the counters, and one by one, put everything away where it was meant to go?  

Joe pursed a smile as he realised you knew exactly where everything went. Why did that make his chest ache in the best of ways?

This new casual form of intimacy seemed so small, but Joe felt how it smothered that little grain of doubt that resided in his chest. That little grain that had convinced him that you were probably going to fall into a new routine with your new flatmate after he moved in and, then you would probably grow close to him and Joe knew how you... no.

No.

He couldn’t think that.

It wasn’t fair on you. He caught himself trying to finish the thought a lot, but he knew it wasn’t fair. Wasn’t true. He didn’t even fully believe it. It was this thing. Still, he also couldn’t help how it simultaneously made him grow a little more possessive and made him want to prepare for the worst.

But, she was here, he had to remind himself.

She’s here.

And she was wandering around his space, letting her train of thought flow freely from her brain into his living room and he used to witness this all the time when you lived together still. Joe realised he’d actually missed it a lot, and wasn’t that the whole point? That he got to miss you now?

God, Joe missed you a lot and you were right there and he could just burst at the seams at how fucking lucky he felt.

He was a just normal guy in a normal flat with a normal relationship– well, normalish relationship, anyway. Not that you had talked about anything yet. Of course you hadn’t. But it was pretty fucking obvious what this was. So he had started shrugging whenever someone would ask if you were actually together, which felt a lot better than the forever, “No, we’re flatmates, what are you talking about?” he used to throw at people, practically gaslighting them out of whatever they thought they’d witnessed between him and the girl that he used to live with.

It was working. The plan he had made, this vague idea of normalcy; it was working out the way he had wanted it to.

And yea, sure, you were getting a new flatmate and Joe had a difficult time not feeling some type of way about that, but, he had made the decision to move out and, look at you now.

“Do you think I can get a raise out of this? Or at least get a weird bonus, mid-term?”

Joe had a hard time not laughing at your question as he saw you had already mentally moved onto something else. You were stood in the middle of the room, both hands on your hips, eyes scanning the room. Everything tidy and organised.

“Joe, when did you last clean?”

Joe followed your gaze up into one of the corners of the ceiling.

“I cleaned today.” Joe said, knowing you’d likely not take it as an honest answer. You had lived together, remember? No fucking way was Joe ever going to feel the urge to maybe sometimes swipe a feather duster across the upper corners of his living room.

You shuddered at the thought of what resided behind his curtains there.

You sighed and tutted and turned back to Joe’s kitchen like you were going to start cleaning his fucking ceilings at half past ten at night.

“Hey, no. No, no. Stop. Will you come sit down a second? My god.” Joe huffed, feigning annoyance. When you turned on your heel and giggled as you scurried over, Joe let a laugh escape his throat just before you let yourself fall into the cushions next to him.

He hooked an arm around your neck to pull you in so he could press his nose into your cheek a second. You gladly let him, and when he held you close like that for longer than you initially thought he would, you suddenly realised you’d just been talking about yourself for twenty minutes straight.

Just barged in with unimportant thoughts on your mind that you just verbally vomited right into Joe’s space. You knew it was mostly nervous energy that was only there because your new flatmate picked up his keys earlier, which now meant there was every opportunity for someone to just... walk into your flat at any given time. That had unexpectedly brought on way more anxiety than you previously thought it would do.

Hence why you decided to just... escape it, and went over to Joe’s to spend the night there.

Joe was pressing his nose into your cheek and held you in place for a bit before he moved his head down, hiding into your neck a second.

“You okay?” you asked softly, head tilting down a bit.

“Mm, yea, fine.” Joe inhaled deeply, before pressing a few small kisses to the crook there and moving back to look at you the in eye. He unhooked his elbow from around your neck and placed two cupped hands on either side of your face, swiping bits of hair back in the process.

Joe was leant all the way back into the sofa, head squished in between two of the back cushions and you took a moment to look at each other. Joe studied your face and rubbed his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks until you grew shy.

“You look tired,” you softly said before Joe sat up a little and leant closer. It had you close your eyes just before scrunching up your nose as he kissed the very tip of it.

“I am tired.” He mused, copying your nose scrunch when you blinked your eyes open again, and Joe looked so soft. Sort of pleased with life, happy to be where he was and like he’d just had a really good productive day. He blinked slowly, eyes only half open, and looked sleepy enough to slip right into dreams the second his head would hit his pillow.

You loved him like this. His hands on you, all soft touches. Comfy and cosy and calm. Just you and him. No one else. No threat of someone randomly walking in.

This was perfect.

“Mmm, me too.” You smiled and let Joe grab one of your elbows to pull an arm across his stomach as he sat back again.

“I’m not surprised. You’ve just done a 5K as you tidied this room, I think.”

You huffed a laugh as you sank into Joe’s side, and then you sat like that in silence for a moment. No TV on. No phones in sight for some easy distraction. Just you and Joe and the view of his living room.

“Are you okay?” Joe suddenly asked, emphasis on the you, and you tried hiding the small, hitched intake of breath by quickly nodding and casually going, “Yea. Fine.”

You could feel how Joe tucked in his chin to look at you.

He waited. Wasn’t going to tell you, “No, be honest...”, but also wasn’t going to accept it and move on. It was still like that. He knew you were lying, and you knew he knew, no words shared at all.

So you sighed and took a second, and then said, “Josh picked up his key today.”

And you didn’t want to explain what that meant.

Didn’t want to tell Joe that, for a while, this existing-in-two-flats thing had just felt like a bit of a joke. Just the two of you playing and being silly about whatever you really were. You still sort of thought of him as a flatmate because he still came over all the time, and you went over to his all the time too. You existed in the same space almost just as much as before, sort of.

But now a new flatmate was actually moving in, and suddenly, it felt like reality had slapped you right across the cheek like it had done that day that Joe moved out.

You’d gotten to hide away for a lot of that.

And there was no real hiding this time around.

You couldn’t go home and pretend Joe was going to move back in eventually, because now Josh’s things were going to be all over the flat. Which was fine. Josh signed a lease. His things were allowed to be all over the place.

It was just... things were getting real now.

Shit was real.

“Which reminds me,” you suddenly piped up, pushing uncomfortable thoughts down, tucking those away for another time and place. “This is going to save you some money!”

You saw how Joe’s mouth slowly stretched into a smile as he watched how his own feet rubbed against yours. Then he caught himself and quickly furrowed his brow, saying, “No, I don’t think it works like that.”

You copied his expression, but were more confused than anything else.

“Of course it does. Josh signed the papers, he’s going to start paying rent now, you–”

“I said that I had taken care of things, didn’t I?” Joe interrupted you, fingers playing with the folds in your sleeve of the arm that rested over his stomach. “Can’t just not keep a promise like that.”

You blinked at him a second, then moved to sit up to stare at him harder. If both Joe and Josh paid rent, that basically meant that you... got to live for free for a while? That math wasn’t mathing. One plus one wasn’t equalling two here. You looked around Joe’s flat and tried to think of his own expenses, and... what the fuck was he doing?!

“Joe,”

“You’re not going to be able to talk me out of this.”

“Joe.”

Joe ignored you and faked a yawn, sped it up along with stretched out arms above his head and quickly said, “So tired. Bed?” before getting up and leaving you on his sofa as he left the room.

“You’re insane if you think I’m just going to accept that!” you called after him and heard him laugh from down the hall.

“Did you not just say you were after a weird mid-term bonus?”

And you hated how that made you smile. Made you punch one of the cushions and sink your teeth into your bottom lip begrudgingly as you forgot to breathe a second.

Joe smiled to himself too as he turned on the lights in his bathroom. It felt like he was winning a contest - there was no contest, no one to fight, not really, but, he was definitely winning.

“You coming?”

Breathe.

Calm down.

You could pretend to fight him on this once more in the morning.

Crawling into bed with Joe had its own little routine which was different from the one at yours. Different order of things, because the lay out of the flat was different.

Bathroom first. You brushed teeth together, always had to stop Joe when he washed his face too aggressively and then used your own moisturiser on him. “Just for your dry patches,” you’d always say, but would end up swiping delicate fingertips all over anyway. There’d be a snarky comment, of you using too much, of him feeling too greasy, of how he was going to stick to his pillow all night now, and then you’d always kiss him to shut him up before moving on to do your own skincare routine.

When you’d get into bed, Joe would already be in there, giving his phone a last once-over before he’d scoot down and get comfortable.

This time, however, when you walked into his bedroom, the lights were already off, and it looked like Joe was already falling asleep.

This soft man.

So sleepy.

He was all messy curls and bare arms, duvet tucked under them, curled up right in the middle of his bed. You slid in and cuddled up right behind him, hips against his bum, chest to his back.

You were right.

Joe was already falling asleep.

You pushed a leg in between his for warmth and snuck an arm around his front.

“You’re crazy,” you whispered into the skin of his shoulder which prompted Joe to grab hold of your hand and pull it into his chest so you were hugging him properly. The big spoon to his small one. Then he just hummed as you pressed a small kiss to his warm skin there.

“So crazy.” you nuzzled into his pillow, your nose rubbing his back as you did, and you felt how he ducked his head down to press a small kiss to your fingers.

You fell asleep warm, comfortable, and smiling.

You woke up in the same way.

Just on your stomach now, and with Joe’s heavy limbs slung over your body. When you turned over, it woke Joe up, and for five blissful early morning minutes, you tried crawling into each other’s skin as best you could. Breathed each other’s breath and tasted each other’s skin. Stroked hands underneath clothes and had fingers crawling into underwear, just to touch and to hold.

When you quietly asked if Joe wanted coffee, he groaned and told you to shut up. He was able to feel you giggle to that, and he could cry with how happy he felt in that moment. Why would you have to go and ruin it by getting up to go and make coffee?

“Five more minutes.”

“Mmm... it’s never just five.”

Joe sighed, “Just five.” speech slurring with early morning drowsiness and then burrowed himself into you even more.

And fine.

Joe could have five more minutes.

But then they easily turned into twenty, because they always did, and you had to eventually bribe Joe with breakfast for him to let you go so you could sit up.

“If you take a slow shower, I’ll have it ready when you finish.” You looked over your shoulder where Joe, still with his eyes closed, smiled widely. His nose was slightly red from pressing it into your skin, and his bedhead made you have to suppress a giggle that you hid by leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead before you got out.

Joe barely even felt that little grain of bad in his chest when he thought of how much he loved you.

Because he did.

Joe fucking loved you.

There was going to be a moment soon where he was just going to have to say it. It was going to spill out of him in some other way if he wouldn’t simply use the words, he just knew it.

Joe loved you as he watched through squinty eyes how you reached for a pair of white socks of his to borrow.

Loved you as he watched you pull one of his old sweaters over your head before you walked out, bare legs still on show.

Loved you when he stepped into his living room after his shower to the smell of burnt toast and scrambled eggs and coffee.

Loved you as he watched you step onto a chair in the corner of his room, wet dishcloth in hand to remove the strings of dust you had scolded him over the night before.

Loved you as he felt what the sight of your stretched body, your bare tighs, and the little peep of your bum did to him inside of his boxers.

Loved you as he groaned and let his head fall onto the counter, having to breathe through it, because you were just cleaning his living room, and not giving him a sensual striptease act or whatever.

Loved you as you looked back over your shoulder, raising your eyebrows in surprised confusion before accusingly asking, “Really, Joe? Cleaning?”

Loved you as he stutteringly defended the blood rush down south by saying, “You have no idea what you look like right now.” into his elbow where he had to hide his face for a second.

Loved you, loved you.

He was hardly able to deny any of it.

And he didn’t feel that he had to, either.

Because, you were there. In his flat. In his clothes. Cleaning his dusty ceiling corners. And wasn’t that just something he wanted to tell the whole fucking world about?

That small little green grain of doubt and worry and negativity dried out and got no sunshine to really grow into anything. Thank fuck.

He got to ignore it for a while.

Forgot about it entirely, and pretended it wasn’t even there for a bit.

It was easy.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

Would tell you soon.

Didn’t know how.

Or where.

But he was going to say it.

He was going to use his words because he was just a normal guy who loved a normal girl and you weren’t being weirdly secretive about what you got up to in private. At least, not how you used to be, anyway.

Joe loved you.

You brought Joe flowers and cleaned his ceiling and wore his clothes and cooked his breakfast.

Joe loved you, even though your new flatmate Josh turned out to be impossibly good-looking in addition to being incredibly kind as well, so Joe didn’t even get to have a real reason to dislike him at all, which seemed unfair, but, all right.

Joe loved you, even when suddenly two shiny black acoustic guitars appeared on your living room wall, because Josh worked in music, and wasn’t that just so cool?

Joe loved you, even though his very first thought after that was, well I know how to play guitar too, don’t I?! which you had never even mentioned before.

Joe loved you, even when he walked into your flat one evening and interrupted a dinner you were having with Josh and one of your friends and, look, Josh cooked for us, and for the first time ever, he felt uninvited and intruding.

Joe loved you, even when your friend jokingly said, “You’re over here at lot for someone that moved out.” right to his face, to which you then heartily laughed, because she was only joking, Joe, and then you didn’t say anything about how you were together, but, you were together... weren’t you?

Joe loved you, even when he stuck to the bit and handed you his flat key like he always did, expecting to find it in his coat pocket later, but then ended up finding both his pockets empty when he went home the next morning, which, yea actually, that made sense, because Josh lived there now, and it was a little weird to have a key still, wasn’t it?

Joe loved you, even when you had told him to come over on Friday evening because you’d had a shit day at work, and for the first time ever, he had to ring the doorbell to get inside.

Joe loved you, even when Josh was the one that answered the door, and Josh almost didn’t let him in, telling him, “Oh, she’s fallen asleep on the sofa, mate.” to which Joe just smiled as he stepped around him, because what the fuck did Josh even know about falling asleep on the sofa in this flat?

Joe loved you, even when he found you asleep on the sofa, curled up under a blanket he’d never seen before, with an empty pizza box bar some crusts still on the coffee table, and you never ate a whole pizza yourself, so that was obviously shared with someone else.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

But there was a playstation besides the TV now, and a cool record player on the side, pile of vinyl next to it, and, God.

Joe fucking hated this.

Whatever was inside of Joe’s chest, that thing he didn’t even want in there, was growing.

Was getting fed without Joe even fully realising he was feeding it.

He hated those guitars. He hated that he no longer had a key. He hated that stupid blanket. And he hated that empty pizza box.

Still, he sat down beside you and placed your socked feet onto his lap. Watched the last scenes of whatever film you’d put on as he slowly kneaded a foot and let you sleep, and he tried his best to not get bitten. To not let it sink its teeth in. To not let it hurt.

It was silly.

Joe was being silly.

Rational thought saved him.

Rational thought told him he still loved you.

And he hoped rational thought was going to be enough.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson,

@choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn,

@dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee,

@figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4,

@hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke,

@lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr,

@munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories,

@phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420,

@songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73,

@werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[auras-moonstone]

okay okay hear me out this is a good one WHAT IF!!!! WHAT IF!!! reader x jack play love interests in Freaky Tales, and like everyone on set KNEW they were obviously into each other right? right. so, sundance film festival comes along a year-and-a-lot-of-pinning-later, and when the kiss scene between their characters comes up they’re both just blushing and smiling and they’re so cute during the interviews the internet goes CRAZY anyway pedro ends up talking some confidence into jack and he asks the reader out 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

from friends to this — jack champion

word count: 1,6k

pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader

summary: after months of not seeing each other, jack and y/n reunite at the sundance festival. with feelings still in the air, jack is persuaded to finally ask her out.

warnings: fluff.

Freaky Tales had been a completely different experience for Jack. Until that movie, he had done roles where his character didn’t have a love interest, much less a kissing scene. It was a thing that had made him nervous since the beginning, because he knew that his co-star, Y/N, had been involved in several romantic comedies so she had experience.

However, his fears were soon erased once he got to know her. Y/N made him feel comfortable and one thing he loved about her was the way she complimented him every time they finished filming a scene together. Jack was immensely glad to call her his co-star and was happy with the chemistry they showed on camera.

The two teenagers relationship soon started resembling their character’s one. Lucid and Vicky were two friends who were obviously into each other, but were too scared of rejection so they kept their feelings to themselves. For that reason, it wasn’t hard for the actors to get into their characters and nail the sentimental parts. And even though both of them were excellent at their job, the whole cast knew there was something deeper there, that there was more than just acting. The two friends could fool each other, but everyone in that set was aware of the way they basically radiated happiness when they were together. Hence why they were all sad when the last day of filming arrived and there hadn’t been any changes on the relationship.

And now, one year later, the cast was finally going to reunite for the premiere of the movie at the Sundance Festival. Y/N and Jack had been looking forward to the event because it had been months since the last time they saw each other.

“Oh my god.” Jack heard a familiar voice speak. He turned his head to the side, spotting his friend who was smiling like the Cheshire cat. Forgetting about the flashing lights and the interviewers, he made his way to her and instantly wrapped her in a hug. “The mullet is back.” she said against his chest.

Jack laughed and stepped back. “Hello to you too.”

“Sorry, hi.” she chuckled. “The mullet is back!”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time.” he rolled his eyes. “I kinda had to bring it back, you were harassing me.” he said in a playful tone.

“I did not harass you, idiot.” she softly pushed his shoulder.

“You have been sending me daily texts for a month, telling me to bring it back.” he pointed out.

“I was doing God’s work.” she shrugged. “You look really good, Jack.”

He felt the warmth spreading on his cheeks. “Thanks, Y/N/N. I missed you.”

“Missed you, too. And Jesus, have you gotten taller?”

He smirked “Maybe you’ve shrunk.”

“Fuck off.” she rolled her eyes.

“Let’s go, smurf.” he grabbed her hand, guiding her towards the carpet to take pictures. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”

They smiled at each other, the butterflies in their stomachs let them know that despite not having been able to see each other often, their feelings were still intact.

Y/N and Jack sat next to each other for the movie screening. It was the third and last day of the festival, and the two friends were sad they were going to be apart again. They hadn’t acknowledged it because they didn’t want to ruin the mood, but their hearts sure felt heavy.

The kissing scene was approaching and they began squirming on their seats, remembering that day at the set and most importantly, how good kissing the other had felt. They both replayed those moments more often that they’d like to admit, and they’d be lying if they said they didn’t want to experience it again.

When the kiss was shown on the big screen, Jack and Y/N couldn’t help looking at each other. They exchanged love-sick smiles and began blushing when they felt the cast’s eyes on them. Trying their best to ignore it, they set their focus on the movie until the credits rolled in.

Now was the part Y/N dreaded the most. not matter how many times she had gone through them, interviews still made her anxious.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. This time, we’re doing them together.” Jack rubbed her arms. His words calmed down her nerves, and after giving him a quick nod, they walked towards the interviewers.

They started with simple questions, regarding their characters and the movie plot and then the male interviewer finally asked the expected question, “How did you feel during the kissing scene?”

Jack spoke first, “When i first got the script, I was super nervous about the relationship between Lucid and Vicky. It is my first character with a romantic interest, and that made me worry I was going to act awkward, especially because Y/N was used to it. But I soon realised I was being silly, she never once made me feel insecure about it. She helped me a lot, never judged, and always asked if I felt alright. And when the day of the kissing scene came, she basically tired herself out by reassuring me it was going to turn out perfect. So I felt very comfortable during the kissing scene. I’m very glad it was with her, she’s not just an amazing actress, she’s also the best co-star in the world and the sweetest girl I’ve ever met.”

She looked up at him in awe, wondering if he realized he was the most perfect man to ever exist. Okay, maybe she was a little biased considering she was head over heels, but Jack truly was incredible.

“Wow, how could I ever top those words?” she laughed, “I really don’t know what to say. I never doubted he was going to nail his performance, and I’m really glad he felt comfortable with me, because I sure did feel comfortable with him. Since the very first day. I mean, just one look and you can tell he’s got a heart of gold. There was nothing awkward about the kiss because we trust each other so much and we knew that there would be no judgment or weirdness after the director yelled ‘Cut’. We have an amazing friendship.”

“Well, shit- oh sorry, shoot.” he apologised. “You didn’t have a problem with topping my speech, that’s for sure.” he smiled at her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. “But yes, she’s right. We formed an amazing friendship, and she’s stuck with me forever now.”

God, I hope so, Y/N pleaded internally.

“Kid, come here.” Pedro told Jack once he saw Y/N was nowhere in sight. “I think it’s time. I beg you, ask that girl out.”

“W-what?” Jack squealed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on.” the older actor sighed. “Everyone knows it. To be honest, we expected you to end up together before the filming ended but it’s already been a year and you’re still stuck on the friendzone with her.”

“I don’t know… what if she says no? I might die, and I’m not even kidding.”

“She’s not going to say no, kid. She’s down as bad as you. Ask her out, you’re not going to regret it. Trust me, okay?”

Jack thought about that conversation for the rest of the evening, and he decided to risk it. If Pedro was right and everyone else thought the feelings were mutual, there must really be something between him and Y/N, right? There was only one way to find out.

“I can’t believe it ended.” Y/N pouted.

“Me neither. I had the time of my life.” he smiled. then, after taking a deep breath, he tugged her arm. “Y/N, I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I… If I’m wrong, things might turn uncomfortable, but I honestly have a really good feeling about this. And before I ask you, I need you to know that there’s no pressure and that no matter what you say, I’m still going to be here. You’ll always have me, okay?”

“Okay… you can trust me. You’ll always have me too.”

Jack nodded and looking her straight in the eyes, he said, “I really like you, Y/N/N. I’ve liked you for a whole year, and it’s insane the amount of times I wanted to tell you, but fear got the best of me. I just, I don’t want to keep on hiding my feelings. I like you so much it’s consuming me. and I need to ask you, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Y/N had daydreamed about this day for a year, so it felt a bit surreal. but Jack was actually there, in front of her, telling her he liked her and wanted to be more than friends. “It was that day you brought me breakfast at the set.”

“What?” Jack frowned.

“Remember that day I forgot to have breakfast?” Jack nodded. “You told me to wait, and then appeared fifteen minutes later, with my favorite coffee, that vanilla muffin I love and the most beautiful smile ever. That was the day I realized I liked you.”

“For real?” he asked, unable to hide his happiness.

Y/N nodded and quickly raised onto her tip-toes to hug his neck. “I like you so much it’s consuming me.” she repeated his words. “And there’s nothing I’d love more than to go on a date with you.”

He let out a breath of relief and hugged her tightly. “By the way, you’re so good at speeches. This is the second time tonight I’m trying very hard to stop the tears.”

Y/N laughed “Oh, prepare yourself for cheesy posts on instagram with even cheesier captions.”

“You make the posts, I make the playlists. Deal?”

“Deal.”

spiderboyjack if those two don’t start dating soon, i’m going to jump off of very tall somethings…

landrysweetthing great, i’m crying over two actors being in love with each other.

deadpoets i will watch the movie for jack and y/n and for jack and y/n only.

aurasmoonstone someone put these two on a rom-com already!

fearlesslandry i already made a folder on tik tok for their edits. bring them on!

liked by jackchampion and y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n share the links <3

jackchampion with taylor swift songs please, those are y/n/n’s favorites

aurasmoonstone okay but are you two dating or not? the people need to know jack champion y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n we’re just friends

jackchampion SMURF DON’T NEGLECT ME 😡 y/n.y/l/n

y/n.y/l/n i love you, boyfriend jackchampion

jackchampion love you too, girlfriend y/n.y/l/n

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

as someone who's an azul kinnie im curious why you placed azul on the slightly dislike list considering you like scheming characters

[My TWST character tier list is here.]

I think the easiest way to explain it is that I came in with the wrong expectations of him? I thought Azul would be similar to what Jade’s character actually was, so Jade ended up upstaging him in that regard. Essentially, not all scheming characters are equivalent; Azul has other traits which weigh him down for me.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll reiterate it here because I feel it is very relevant for Azul. I… tend to not like “main” guys because of of how much they appear everywhere (including merch and marketing); it makes me feel like I’m being “pushed” to like them specifically rather than being allowed to think for myself about who I like. This is the case for dorm leaders, which includes Azul. Additionally, “main” guys tend to get more of a story focus (also true of the dorm leaders), and that in of itself can be a double edged sword. It means more information + backstory about that character, and while that’s great for lore and fleshing them out, it also means potentially polarizing the fans who were content with their perception of the character prior to the reveal. Once that change happens, it completely shifts how you see the character and then you can’t go back to how you felt before. This was a painful factor in what I call the “stock market crash” of my opinion of Azul Ashengrotto.

I actually quite liked him at first. I took his hand at the start when I first started playing TWST back in 2020 ^^! I even *gasp* simped a little??? (weird AU where Azul was my oshi instead of J word…) He was every bit an intelligent and calculating deal maker as I suspected he would be—well, at least that’s what the few vignettes available at the time and book 2 implied. Back then, only books 1 and 2 were available in full and book 3 was slooowly being updated in chunks. And really, I was liking book 3 a lot (he was still being a silly little scumbag, lol) and took no issue with it… UNTIL THE LAST PART DROPPED 💀 AND WE GOT HIS BACKSTORY…

Now 💦 I’m aware that the OB boys’ backstories usually garner sympathy and enhance the preexisting love we have for those characters but… Azul’s backstory actually had a very strong opposite effect on me. It was the moment I realized, “Hey, maybe I don’t like you as much as I thought I did.” I’d describe the feeling like having a pleasant dream and then you’re suddenly violently awoken by a loud alarm clock, a screeching parrot, and Sebek shouting in your ears at once.

I want to be clear when I say I do not mean to demean or to diminish Azul’s experiences of being bullied. I also do not mean to shame Azul for being (rightfully) upset about his circumstances or for being emotional. When I say that I started disliking Azul because of this backstory, it’s for a very personal reason: I just don’t like stories where a victim of bullying becomes a bully, thus perpetuating the cycle. It’s sad to see someone go down that path, spreading more hate because of the hate they had received before… and I’ll never believe that revenge is a good response for an injustice 😔 Azul’s case is a little different, as he does eventually go on to recognize how far he has strayed from the benevolent ideals of the Sea Witch and is now actively trying to work on himself (which I appreciate and applaud him for). However, it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth that I can’t quite scrub away. I think it’s because I found myself relating to kid!Azul in some ways, so that personal connection amplified the disappointment I felt in the decisions he made. It feels like looking into an alternate reality where I, too, went down a dark path—and that thought is unpleasant, to say the very least. Now I view Azul more like a cautionary tale and keep a safe distance from him.

[ellies-little-thing]

I thought you hated me (e.w.)

My masterlist <3

Warnings: Roommates; modern Ellie; Mature content; swearing; fluf; smut; arguing; reader is referred to as she/her; Ellie is mean; Readers first time with a girl; Mentions of past relationships; cheating, mentions of drinking; love/hate relationship; Reader has a vagina; enemies to lovers (kinda); Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This is my first ever fanfic, I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy! 

Hi i re-edited this fic, I hope you like the sligth channges!

Word count: 25k

NSFW MINORS AND MEN DNI!!

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You and Ellie didn’t exactly get along, sure you had to hang out with each other because of your friends, but you guys always teased and bad mouthed each other until it ended up in a full-blown argument.

Maria was rearranging roommates for each dorm and as you approached the door  that was supposed to be your new home, your breath hitched.

Ellie opens her door in a hoodie and shorts and sees you standing there. “Great, you’re the one living with me” she scoffs, clearly annoyed.

“Happy to see you too.” Y/N says sarcastically. Ellie rolled her eyes, walking into the room and sitting down on her bed.

“Of course, it’s YOU living with me, I can’t even be in peace in my own room?” She crossed her arms and gave Y/N a stern look.

“It isn’t like it was my choice!”

“Oh, I’m aware, the fact that we’re forced to live together is absurd, I want no trouble.” Ellie sat her head in the palm of her hand, she was very annoyed.

“I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.” Ellie seemed surprised that Y/N had already given up, she had been expecting a lot of trouble.

“That’s it?” Ellie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t want to argue.” Ellie seemed almost sad when she heard Y/N’s words, sure she had expected them but she wanted to argue.

“I was looking forward to that…” Ellie said, almost whispering.

“What?” You asked because you couldn't hear what she'd just said.

“Never mind, you don’t wanna argue.” Ellie stood up and crossed her arms. Ellie took a look around the dorm that was now her new home.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” You say mockingly. That was the perfect sentence to piss Ellie off. Ellie marched up to Y/N, she was now looking down on her with a blank expression. Y/N was about 5 feet tall (1.52m) and Ellie was 5’7 (1.70m).

“Hurt my feelings? I don’t have feelings, you’re an ass anyways, why would I care.” She scoffed.

“Nice one dickhead!” That actually caught her off guard. Ellie actually had to think of a comeback to that. Ellie had a stern expression as she thought of something, she had to think fast. Finally, she had an answer and a smile spread across her face.

“Well, at least I’m a dickhead, you can't even get any dick.” She said almost laughing.

“Like you have one…” Ellie almost lost it at that comment.

“Ohhh, but I do..” She smiled, she was now very amused by the fact that she caught you off guard twice.

“Oh, do you? Since I last checked, girls don’t have dicks.” You said annoyed.

“Check again dear, girls can have dicks. I am proof of that.” Ellie was still smiling, the look on your face was hilarious.

“Let’s see it then.” You challenge her.

“Oh please, a gorgeous lady like me doesn’t need to show you, how about we skip straight to your bed?” She asked in a cocky tone, she had clearly already won the argument.

“Fuck you, go beat one off alone and leave me be.” Ellie actually started laughing, she couldn’t help herself and she had to cover her mouth to stop laughing.

“I wasn’t being serious, that’s not very polite of you my dear.” She said, holding back laughter.

“ha ha.” You say dryly. Ellie was still amused by the conversation, she had actually enjoyed talking to you. She had been expecting an argument, but this was actually very entertaining.

“What should we do? Are we gonna hang out or something?” Ellie asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Do what you want, I’m putting my stuff away.” Ellie watched as you put your things away, it looked like you weren't gonna budge on doing anything with her. Ellie was stubborn and also a bit annoyed, she had to come up with a plan to get you to spend some time with her.

“You’re not gonna do anything fun with me?” She asked, trying to make herself sound convincing.

“Hum… Since the last time I checked..I thought you hated me?” You said, not even looking at her.

“What? Who said I hated you?” Ellie asked, sounding confused. “You and I are gonna be roommates, I just thought I would try to make this easier for both of us.” Ellie explained. “Can’t we just hang out for a bit? You look fun…”

“Fine.” You said.  Ellie felt accomplished, she had successfully convinced you to spend some time with her and you had only been roommates for about an hour. Ellie sat down on her bed and looked over at you putting your belongings away.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask annoyed.

“What? Am I not allowed to look at you?” Ellie asked. She had crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly; you were confusing her but Ellie still had a plan. Ellie wanted to hang out with you, if she couldn’t convince you to hang then she would just force you to be her friend.

“No, that is a privilege honey.” You mocked.

“I don’t think I’m your honey.” Ellie laughed a bit while she spoke.   Ellie still wasn’t used to the fact that this girl, who she thought would be mean and not like her at all, was actually willing to talk to her. It was very confusing to Ellie but she was now actually looking forward to hanging out.

“Just leave me alone.” You say quietly.

“You know I can’t do that, we’re roommates, remember?” Ellie was persistent, she wasn’t just gonna let you do whatever you wanted right away.

“Plus, being annoying is kinda my thing.” She shrugged.

“Perfect.” You say annoyed. Ellie smirked; she knew you weren't serious about your comment. Ellie actually felt better talking and hanging out with you, she had assumed you would be a very mean and awful person. Ellie got off her bed and continued looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna watch a movie or something?” Ellie asked.

“I’m going to take a shower, bye.” Ellie was surprised by this response, but she was still persistent.

“Fine, but after you take your shower, we’re watching a movie.” Ellie had to admit though, the thought of being alone for hours was scary.

“Hhhghhh….” You say annoyed.

“What?” Ellie looked at you, now confused. She had thought that you had agreed on watching a movie with her.

“Pick the movie then.” Ellie was surprised, she had expected you to refuse and walk away.

“Alright then, um… do you like Horror movies?” Ellie actually didn’t like horror movies, but anything for you to see the other side and to have a chance to become her friend.

“You pick! “ You get to the bathroom and close the door. Ellie knew that this was her chance to pick a romance movie, but she decided to still stick with the horror movies. Ellie put on a horror movie that her friends had recommended for her awhile back and then knocked on the bathroom door. Ellie had to admit that she was a bit nervous, for some reason just talking to you felt weird. She figured this was because she didn’t usually spend such a long time with someone who didn’t like her.

You get in the shower and start singing. While waiting outside the bathroom, this gave Ellie an idea. As you were singing in the shower, Ellie put the volume down on the TV and started singing the exact same song that sounded like you were singing. Ellie knew that this was the perfect opportunity to get your attention and maybe even have some fun.  You get out of the shower and get dressed. You then open the door and your hair is still dripping.  Ellie noticed that you hadn’t said anything and decided to keep singing, she had a plan.  Ellie started singing a lot louder and tried to mimic the voice that you had. You would hear Ellie singing and hopefully come over, at this point Ellie didn’t have any other plans. She hoped that you would come check it out. You look at Ellie but don't say one word. Ellie decided to say something, she was waiting for a reaction but you remained silent like always.

“Hey uh. Y/N… Can I get one of your hair ties...?” Ellie asked a bit awkwardly; she still wasn’t used to you at all. Ellie figured that giving you a task might help you loosen up a bit.

You throw Ellie a black hair tie. Ellie caught the hair tie and put her hair in a half bun, now she just waited for a response. Ellie was feeling nervous, she couldn’t let this chance slip. “Can I try something?” Ellie asked as a grin spread across her face.

“What?” You looked at Ellie while drying your hair.

“Um… can you do me a favor...?” Ellie was already starting to turn red from embarrassment, she felt anxious. Ellie hadn’t ever been this close to you, she was starting to feel a bit nervous.

“What is it?" Ellie looked at you and her expression turned from nervous to excitement.

“This might sound a bit weird but can I just… hug you..?” Ellie asked, her tone was a lot shyer and softer than it usually is.

“Humm…. “ You get a bit surprised. Ellie’s heart beat rapidly, she felt a bit nervous. Ellie thought about it for a moment and then just reached out her hands , she was going to take her chances and go for a hug.

“Okay…” You let Ellie hug you. Ellie took her chances and hugged you, it was a bit uncomfortable but it was worth it. Ellie then let go of you and looked down, she was now smiling. “Let’s go watch the movie.” Ellie said in a very confident voice, she was feeling much better after the hug.

“What is up with you?” You were really confused at this point. Ellie looked at you, this was another question that Ellie expected to be asked. Ellie took a second to think and then responded. “Nothing, nothing is up with me. I just felt like showing affection to my roommate.” Ellie shrugged.

You  look at Ellie suspiciously. “Hum…. I have my eyes on you, Williams.” Ellie smiled; she was very happy that you hadn’t refused to do anything with her so far. Ellie sat back down on her bed and put the TV back up to the volume it was on before. “Do you wanna watch the movie or not?” Ellie said.

“Fine.” You sit on the couch.  “What did you pick?” Ellie looked at you as you spoke.

“It’s gonna show some blood so it’s 18+ if that’s okay? The movie is called “It Follows”, ever heard of it?” Ellie was excited to see if you would enjoy the movie she picked.

“I love horror movies!” You say excited.

“Then this should be right up your alley.” Ellie pressed a button on the remote and the movie played. Ellie was nervous, she had thought that the movie would be perfect to watch with you. Ellie then looked over at you to see if she had a response. you were excited to watch the movie.

Ellie was so happy to see that you actually wanted to watch it, everything was going the way Ellie planned. Ellie looked over at you once again, to try to see how you were reacting so far to the movie.

Ellie was now hoping that the horror elements of the movie would make you scared, Ellie wanted to see you act like a scaredy cat. You jump at one of the jump scares and then burst out laughing. Ellie started grinning as you jumped, she was so excited to see you act scared.

“You scared?” Ellie asked, trying to hold in laughter as she spoke.

“No! It was really funny actually.” Ellie tried to maintain a serious expression but when you said that the scare was funny, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ellie just broke out laughing, she felt like she had already made a lot of progress. When Ellie finally settled down, she glanced at you.

“Do you find the movie funny?” Ellie asked, she was genuinely curious.

“I find all horror movies funny; can you imagine the actors doing all this stuff?? They sure are trying really hard not to laugh whilst the cameras are rolling.” You say, talking almost like a little kid talks about their favorite things.

“Really? Do you not find any horror movies creepy?” Ellie looked at you, she expected the answer to be a big no. Ellie found the majority of horror movies creepy so the statement that she found them all funny was bizarre and confusing to her. Ellie actually liked the answer though, it made you sound less scary and more human.

“Why? Are you scared?” You teased her.

Ellie blushed slightly, you had caught her off guard. But you were right, Ellie did find this scary movie creepy. Ellie had to respond to your question to avoid being mocked, so the answer she gave was an honest one. “A bit.” Ellie admitted. Ellie didn’t want to admit it but there weren’t any lies to hide behind in this situation.

“Oh, I have such a baby for a roommate.” You teased her again, smiling.

Ellie was expecting you to say something like that. Ellie now had her moment to tease you instead. Ellie put on a cocky expression and nodded. “Yes, I’m a big baby and I’m scared of scary movies.” Ellie spoke in a deep voice as she pretended to fake cry. Ellie kept doing her fake crying while looking at you.

“Too bad I don’t care.” You scoffed. Ellie was enjoying herself way too much to stop, she kept the deep voice going.

“I’m so scared!” Ellie said, doing her best acting. Ellie was waiting for your reaction; she felt a smile spread across her face.

You just laughed at Ellie’s bad acting skills. Ellie was still pretending to cry, but when you laughed, she stopped. Ellie pretended to wipe tears from her eyes as she spoke, “Hey, I thought that was some grade A acting! How come you’re so mean to me?” Ellie pretended to fake pout; she was just gonna keep this up until you couldn’t stop yourself from responding.

You turn sad all of a sudden. “Are you crying...?” Ellie sounded surprised at the sudden change in emotions, she was trying to hold back a laugh but she didn’t want to sound mean. Ellie just watched as you sat on the couch, you really were the most unpredictable person in the world. Ellie had to try so hard not to laugh at your sudden mood change.

You look away from Ellie and continue watching the movie. Ellie decided to say something, she was very curious to know if something was wrong. Ellie didn’t know what actually made you sad or even why you were sad. “Hey umm. you alright?” Ellie asked.

You smirk.  “Now who’s the best actor here? I am!” You tease ker. Ellie turned bright red; she had been caught off guard. Her mind had been racing at what she could say as a response. Ellie decided to just accept the loss and move on, so she responded with. 

“Yeah, okay you win. You’re the best actor.” While Ellie was admitting your acting to be superior, she didn’t feel like it was the truth. You just smile.

“You look cute when you smile.” Ellie blurted out before even thinking about it. Ellie realized what she said the moment the words came out of her mouth. As soon as this happened Ellie’s cheeks turned bright red, she just smiled awkwardly while she waited for a response.

“You think I’m cute?” Ellie felt herself so embarrassed but didn’t want to deny that she meant what she said. Ellie took a second to think before responding to your comment. “Yes, I’m sorry it’s just you look kinda cute and I don’t know... I just feel like I have to be honest.” Ellie said while her face still remained red.

“You look cute all flustered like this.” Ellie was not expecting you to continue flirting. She turned even more red; she felt her face burning as her emotions started to go crazy. Ellie was actually really flustered, she felt herself turning red even more.

“I-… um, thanks.” Ellie finally stuttered. She wanted to say much more but it was difficult to talk when her face was almost as red as a tomato! You chuckled softly and continued watching the movie. Ellie was glad that you just laughed, but since if you kept trying to flirt, Ellie would’ve turned into a mess.

“Hey um… can I say something?” Ellie eventually asked. She knew that the answer would be no, but she still wanted to say what she was gonna say.

“Yeah?” You respond.

“Okay this is probably gonna sound a bit strange, but I think you’re actually really cute.” Ellie looked at you and spoke, her face was still red but that was ok. She wasn’t gonna just hold it back, she wanted you to know. Ellie was glad she said it in the end, even if you completely rejected her, she felt good not keeping it inside. You blushed. Ellie was expecting so many different reactions, maybe you would smile, say no , laugh or be mad. Ellie never thought she would see you actually blush! Ellie watched as you turned a bit red, her face lit up as she smiled at you once again. Ellie was so happy that you blushed, she didn’t even care if you didn’t feel the same way about her. Just seeing your reaction made Ellie’s day a lot better.

“Oh, shut up!” You pushed Ellie playfully. Ellie laughed; she thought that your reaction was hilarious even though you were trying to sound mean at the time. Ellie pushed you back and tried to be mean back, although she didn't think she succeeded that much. “Am I too cute for you to handle?” Ellie said in a mocking tone. She now had a wide grin on her face, she was having a lot of fun.

“Just watch the movie!” You smiled looking back at the tv. Ellie knew that it would be best to just watch the movie, so that’s what she did. Ellie turned back to the TV and watched as the movie continued playing. Ellie had been enjoying herself a lot, the movie was scary but she was having fun with you. She noticed that you hadn’t tried to flirt with her again, but that was ok. Ellie was having fun in the current situation; she hadn’t planned this but everything was going better than she could’ve imagined.

You glance at Ellie to see if she’s scared. Ellie was doing a pretty good job at pretending to be scared, she wanted to see if you believed it. All of the horror scenes made her jump and she kept glancing over at you too. Ellie was hoping that after the movie you would say that she was acting. You noticed Ellie getting scared. During the last scene in the movie Ellie got the biggest scare, she actually yelled out loud in the middle of it. Ellie sat there not knowing how you were gonna react to her acting. she was doing her best to pretend to be scared when she actually wasn’t. The way she reacted did seem a bit over the top, but she figured it was fine. Ellie just looked at you and waited patiently for a response.

You laughed as soon as Ellie jumped. Ellie looked over at you when she started laughing. She now knew that you just didn’t believe a single bit of her act, but it was still ok because it was fun to do. Ellie laughed and was glad that you were laughing as well, she didn’t want this movie watch session to end yet.

“Hey ..” Ellie said, trying to get you to speak again.

“What?”

“Can we watch another movie?” Ellie asked in a soft voice, she was getting a bit nervous. Ellie wanted to keep enjoying herself by watching movies with you, but she had no idea how you would respond to the question she just asked. Ellie didn’t wanna sit in silence, she was gonna watch another movie with you no matter what.

“I think you’re enjoying my company after all.” You say in a slightly teasing tone.

“Yeah, I am.” Ellie said. She wasn’t lying. Ellie really liked you, you was the first person Ellie had ever liked this way. Ellie felt her heart beating rapidly as she waited patiently for you to put on another movie.

“What movie are you gonna put on next?”  No matter what you decided, Ellie was gonna watch the movie with yor. Ellie liked spending time with you and if it kept going like this , she might fall hard for you.

You were a bit surprised at Ellies response. Ellie watched as you seemed kind of surprised by her honesty, Ellie was too nervous to speak, she just looked at you and waited for her to say something else, she really wanted to know what movie you were watching next. Ellie was just happy that you weren't mad, that was the only thing she was worried about before she admitted her honesty. Ellie’s heart was beating a million miles an hour, this was one of the most important moments in her life.

“What about some cartoons? “ You tried to seem chill about the whole thing.

“Uhm… sure?” Ellie was confused about why you  were suggesting cartoons but she didn’t mind. She just liked being in your company and spending the evening with you by her side. Ellie watched as you put on the cartoon, she didn’t wanna take any of the attention away from you. But Ellie couldn’t resist a moment more to ask you a question. “Hey…  How come you want to watch cartoons?” Ellie asked in a tone that was a bit softer than usual.

“I always liked animation movies.” Ellie smiled at you as you spoke, she was now really happy that you liked cartoons.

“Alright then!” Ellie said as she looked over at the tv and watched the cartoon. Ellie thought that this was probably one of the best nights of her life , she was so much herself while being with you and she couldn’t imagine how much more there was to come in the future. Ellie looked over at you again to see if you would say anything else. “What do you like?” You asked her, watching the tv.

“About cartoons?” Ellie looked at you, she really didn’t think you even cared about what she liked about cartoons. Ellie thought you just wanted to watch cartoons and didn’t want to know what she loved about them. Ellie decided to say what she loves about cartoons anyway. “Well, I kinda just love everything about them! They have the best plot and animation! I love how they can tell stories with so many morals and lessons!” Ellie explained, her eyes were sparkling while she spoke.

“I know right? Everyone thinks cartoons are just for kids.” You respond enthusiastically.

“I know right!? Cartoons are amazing and not just for kids! There are so many different types of cartoons!” Ellie was very passionate about cartoons and could go on for hours about how amazing they are. Ellie was still trying to learn more about you, and now she knew what you liked. Ellie was so happy that she found someone who loved shows the same way she did. “You gotta tell me your favorite cartoon now, don’t leave me hanging.” Ellie said jokingly.

“Arcane, definitely.” You responded with a serious tone.

“You like Arcane!?” Ellie looked over at you, she wasn’t sure if she heard her answer right. Ellie loved Arcane; she couldn’t even explain how much she loved the show. Ellie wanted to know everything about your opinion on arcane. The fact that you loved arcane made her night so much better! 

“I’ve watched it more than a dozen times at least, almost know all the lines by heart.” You say a bit timid.

“You’ve watched it more than a dozen times?! You must be obsessed!” Ellie was starting to sound like a giant nerd, but she didn’t care about that one bit. Ellie just looked at you smiling after her comment. Ellie also thought that the idea of you knowing all the lines was super cute. You blushed a bit. “Yeah, maybe I’m a bit obsessed….”

Ellie couldn’t help but look at you as you blushed. She started getting the feeling that this night was turning into something amazing. Ellie also felt herself blushing, she just had to keep looking at you.

“Well, what’s your favorite episode?” Ellie asked, she liked asking questions at this point in the night, so she didn’t mind asking again. Ellie felt like you were the only person she could really open up to right now.

“Oh, I can’t really choose, but my favorite scene is when Vi and Jinx reunite.” Ellie nodded and listened to you speak, her eyes were following you.

“You can’t choose?” Ellie asked, she really liked being able to speak about arcane with you. Ellie then watched as you talked about her favorite scene in the show. The idea of the two sisters being reunited was a great scene, Ellie also agreed it could be a favorite.

“That’s actually one of my favorite scenes too, even though it felt pretty sad to watch.” Ellie said as she smiled at you.

“Yeah, I still cry every time I watch it.” You admit quietly.

“Me too, but I do love how the two of them can just forget their past problems just for a moment and be sisters again.” Ellie looked at you as she spoke, the two of them talking about their favorite parts of one of their favorite shows was something else. Ellie just continued to smile. “I still haven’t seen season 2, have you?”

“It only comes out next year, can’t wait!” You responded excited.

“Neither can I, I wanna see it soooo badly!” Ellie looked over at you and tried not to look too excited.

“We should watch it together! When it comes out.” Ellie just wanted to watch more cartoons with you. Ellie was starting to wonder what else the two of you could watch to keep this night going.

“You wanna watch more shows, right? I have a few others that I recommend…” You wait for Ellie to continue. Ellie looked at you and tried to think of shows that you might like. She went through her brain trying to make a list in her mind of everything you could enjoy. “We could watch Adventure Time; it is technically for kids but it’s amazing.” Ellie was kinda rambling at this point, she had way too many choices of what to watch. Ellie was also really curious about what you might wanna watch.

“Oh, I love Adventure Time! " and  "The Amazing World of Gumball"! " You said with a grin on your face.

“You like both? oh I can already tell I like you.” Ellie got really excited at this point, she never met someone who enjoyed the same shows as her this much. “We should watch one of them next, which one do you wanna watch first?” Ellie was trying not to freak out about how cool this night was turning out.

You tried to look cool when Ellie said she liked you, to not blush again.

“Why did you just turn red?” Ellie saw that you turned red at the comment she made and she was really confused as to why? She didn’t think you would care this much about her opinion. Ellie was kinda worried she made you mad or something, she didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, it’s nothing, let’s watch Adventure Time then.” You say quietly.

“Are you sure nothing is wrong?” Ellie was still looking at you, not sure if she made you mad or not. “Alright then let’s watch adventure time! What episode should we watch, just the next one in the series?”

“Sure.” Ellie put on the next episode on Adventure Time, she was super happy that you actually liked the show as well. She looked over and smiled at you, she didn’t even realize that she was smiling as hard as she was. Ellie knew that the night couldn’t get any better. It was starting to get late and you were getting sleepy. Ellie looked at the time and noticed that it was actually getting pretty late. Ellie didn’t want to ask you to leave just yet because she really wanted to talk to you more. Ellie decided to compromise and ask you to stay a little bit longer.

“Hey Y/N... are you tired at all? We could just watch one more episode if you want…”. Ellie just wanted to see your response. Ellie felt like she really enjoyed herself and didn’t wanna end the night yet.

“I’m a bit tired, I think I might head to bed.” Ellie’s heart started beating faster as you told her you were a bit tired. She was kinda disappointed, but that was expected at this point in the night. Ellie was hoping that you would say that you wanted to watch one last episode, even though she knew that her chances were low. Instead of pushing for you to stay, she thought it best to just respect her decision. Ellie smiled and replied back to you. “Yeah ok…. Well, um… alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

“See you tomorrow, Ellie.”

“Good night, Y/N.” Ellie tried to hide how sad she was now that it was the end of the night. Ellie could already tell that she wanted to see you again and spend more time with her. Ellie wasn’t gonna ask you to stay and talk anymore, she felt like one of her favorite nights was ending and there wasn’t much to do. Ellie was just glad she finally met someone like you.

You laid on your bed thinking of Ellie. Ellie was in her own room; her eyes were glued to the ceiling while she thought about you too. The past hour was amazing, but now that it was over and the two of you were in their own rooms… Ellie began to realize just how much she liked you. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast and she felt a feeling of warmth in her stomach as she thought about it more. Ellie felt like you were thinking about her too, even if you weren't. Ellie just laid there with a smile on her face from thinking about you.

You couldn’t go to sleep thinking about Ellie. How could you have had such a pleasant evening hating each other just the day before?

Ellie decided to text you, the idea of texting a girl just to talk to her seemed like such a new thing to her, but she wanted to continue speaking to you. Ellie quickly typed the message she wanted to send and sent it immediately after.

“Hey, I know it’s late, but I wanted to say that I really enjoyed spending tonight with you.” Ellie read the message back to herself at least ten times, she didn’t want to write anything that would weird you out.

Your phone buzzed. It was Ellie. You smiled at the text. " Me too Ellie" you responded. Ellie smiled when she saw your text. Ellie started to type another message, but wasn’t sure what to write. Ellie looked at her phone and reread her message about 10 more times. Ellie eventually went back to her blanket and laid there, she was still thinking of you. Just the idea that you also enjoyed the night was enough for Ellie to fall asleep. Ellie fell asleep with a smile on her face and couldn’t wait for the next morning.

You  got up early and walked to the kitchen to have breakfast. Ellie was still in bed, feeling lazy and cozy. Ellie wanted to spend as much time as possible in bed feeling comfortable. She didn’t really plan on doing anything today, it was just a normal weekend day after all. Ellie thought about you from time to time while in bed, she couldn’t really help herself. She was getting really attached to you after a single day together, it just felt so crazy to think about.

You wondered if Ellie was going to wake up. You ate and got dressed to go for a morning walk while Ellie still slept. Ellie eventually woke up at around 10:30 am, she was a pretty late sleeper. She wanted to go back to sleep almost immediately but a feeling in her gut made her decide to get up. Ellie didn’t have anything important to do today so being lazy didn’t matter too much. Ellie sat on her bed trying to figure out what to do today, and of course… She kept thinking about you and couldn’t get you off her mind.

You sat on a bench soaking in the sunlight.

Ellie walked outside; it was now around 11 am. Ellie didn’t really have anything to do today but still wanted to get some fresh air. She couldn’t stop thinking about You and her mind was full of thoughts about her. Ellie was hoping she saw you outside, maybe they could hang out again today. 

You kept thinking of Ellie and your conflicted feelings. Ellie felt the cold breeze hit her skin as she walked around. She was a little nervous about where to go now that she wasn’t in her room anymore. Ellie wanted to go to your room and see what was up, but she didn’t want to be too weird by showing up at her bedroom early. Ellie wasn’t really sure where to go now that she was outside and didn’t know when to stop looking for you.

You spotted Ellie walking. Ellie felt like someone was watching her, she looked over trying to figure out who it was. Ellie saw you as she looked over and her heart started to beat faster. Ellie walked over to you. “Oh, hey Y/N! I didn’t know you’d be outside this early!” Ellie’s face was as red as can be, she tried so hard not to look too excited to see you. “What’re you doing here?”

"Just soaking in a bit of sunlight.”

“Oh, alright! We’ll, uh… I was thinking maybe you wanna go do something right now? Like, we can maybe go get something to drink or we can watch something?” Ellie was trying not to sound too pushy but she really wanted to hang out with you right now.

You patted the seat next to yours on the bench for Ellie to sit. She slowly walked over to you and sat down on the bench. Ellie was a bit too happy to be sitting with you, she tried to calm herself down. Ellie felt like you two would be really close really fast if the day kept going the way it was going right now.

“This place is so calm and relaxing; I could stay here all day long!” Ellie pointed to the nearby trees and birds; she thought it was beautiful.

“It really is.” You looked around at all the trees. Ellie looked at you as she smiled, she loved how cozy the day felt. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast as she just looked at your face. Ellie wasn’t saying a thing right now, she just wanted to enjoy the moment. “It’s really nice sitting and talking with you here.” Ellie said after a moment of silence.

You didn’t look at Ellie, not wanting to show how happy you were. Ellie felt like she made you feel uncomfortable, she tried her best to try and put you at ease. “Hey, is it ok if I sit here and talk to you? Or did you want to just sit here and relax alone?” Ellie said she felt like she might be bothering you if she tried to stay here. “We could also just talk and not look at each other if you want to...” You nodded, “It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Alright, thank you.” Ellie smiled again as she continued to just sit there with you. Ellie’s heart continued to beat fast and her face was super red. She wanted to talk more to you, she didn’t want this moment to end yet.

“So... why didn’t you like me before? I know I’m not very pleasant, but still.” Ellie thought about your question for a moment. She then looked over at you for a second and decided to just be truthful for once.

“To be honest, I didn’t really have any good reasons for not liking you…” Ellie tried to sound as honest as she could, it was nice to not lie for once. “In reality, I don’t think I could’ve ever really disliked you.” Ellie tried to hide her blushing face from you, but she didn’t know if it was working or not.

You started fidgeting with your hands, you were nervous but didn’t want to show it. Ellie noticed you fidgeting with your hands, she wondered why that was. Ellie didn’t want to embarrass you in any way , so she decided to continue the conversation and change the subject. Ellie decided to ask you another question to get her mind off of the previous subject. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Yes?”

“So, um… do you like cartoons?” Ellie was just talking about whatever came to mind to keep up with the conversation. Ellie was kinda nervous that you would see through her attempt at making small talk.

“Yes, we watched some yesterday, remember?”

“Oh, right!” Ellie laughed nervously, she was realizing how dumb she sounded just then. Ellie was nervous now, maybe you were already thinking that she was annoying? Ellie hoped you weren't annoyed already...

You saw how nervous Ellie was. She tried to just ignore how anxious she was feeling and try to act normal. Ellie was really scared that she was going to push you  away somehow and make the day really awkward. Ellie didn’t understand the reasons behind these nervous emotions she felt for you, but she also didn’t want these emotions to ruin today. Ellie felt the need to say something to keep the convo going. “Do you wanna go and watch more cartoons in my room?” Ellie said, trying to ignore her anxious mood.

“Sure Ellie. It’s starting to get cold out anyway.” Ellie smiled at you and then got up off the bench. Ellie didn’t want to force you to come into her room with her, she wanted you to choose to come inside. Ellie then turned to you and smiled. you followed Ellie as she smiled even harder, Ellie looked back at you every few seconds to make sure that you wanted to follow her to her room. Ellie couldn’t believe how well the day was going so far.

You looked around Ellie's room. Ellie’s room was a bit messy, it looked like there were just piles of clothes thrown everywhere. Ellie had no problem with this, but she wasn't sure you would be a fan of the mess in her room.  “Sorry if my room looks messy…” Ellie was afraid you would just walk out right now.

“Are these drawings yours?” You look at the wall above her bed.

“Huh? Oh yeah they are!” Ellie laughed a bit and pointed to some of her drawings in a corner in her room. Ellie was super proud of her drawings and was glad that you took a look at them. Ellie took a step closer and watched you look at her art. Ellie was glad that she showed you something about herself and was now wondering about your own art skills. “Do you like to draw or paint?”

“They are beautiful.” You say still admiring her drawings.

“Thank you, Y/N…” Ellie was really happy that you liked her drawings. Ellie wanted to try and make you show your own drawings now, she could already tell that you were probably a better artist then she was.

“Hey Y/N, do you maybe wanna show me some of your drawings?” Ellie said as she was super curious to see what you made in your free time.

“Sure, I think I took some pictures of a few with my phone.” You show Ellie your art. Ellie’s eyes brightened when you pulled out your phone. Ellie was super excited to see the drawings and was glad you would be open about your art. Ellie took a step closer to you and looked at the images on your phone. Ellie was speechless when she saw your art.

“Oh my gosh Y/N, you’re such a good artist!”

You blushed. “They’re nothing special really…”

“Oh come on Y/N, you really know how to make anything look so realistic!” Ellie kept complimenting your art, she couldn’t help herself. Ellie felt like you were way too hard on yourself and thought the art was amazing. Ellie now felt the need to try and one up you and make a better piece of art then yours. Ellie wanted to impress you so she decided to try and draw something on a piece of paper she found on her bed.

“Hey, what are you sketching there?” Ellie hid the drawing she was working on and looked over at you. Ellie then hesitated before speaking. “Oh uh… just... just a doodle...” Ellie said with a slight nervous laugh, she was starting to feel really embarrassed now. Ellie was getting really nervous that you would judge her art and end up not liking her anymore over it.

“Let me see,” You teased. Ellie felt embarrassed, you were definitely playing with her. Ellie decided to give in and show you the drawing she was working on.

“Alright… here!” Ellie showed you the drawing she was working on, she covered her face a bit so she couldn’t see your reaction to it. The drawing Ellie drew was a picture of you. Ellie got worried that you wouldn’t like it and tried to hide her smile while looking at your reaction.

You were surprised and blushed at Ellie’s drawing. Ellie felt really happy with your reaction. Ellie’s heart was beating fast, and she had a really big smile on her face. Your happiness just made everything 10 times better for Ellie. Ellie wanted to thank you for all the compliments she was getting from you. “Thank you, I’m surprised you liked my drawing of you.” Ellie smiled once again. You smiled and asked quietly. “Can I keep it?” Ellie hesitated for a second. Ellie wanted to be nice and let you have the drawing, but at the same time she wanted to keep it for herself. Ellie was conflicted for a few seconds before replying.

“Fine then...” Ellie then handed over the drawing to you. Ellie had a small smile on her face as she let you have the drawing she made of you.

“Thanks, Ellie.” Your smile grew wider.

“No problem, Y/N.” Ellie felt really happy that you liked the drawing. Ellie could tell that this was the best day in her entire life.

“Hey, uh… Y/N?” Ellie hesitated to ask. Ellie was wondering how you were so bold at times. “Can I ask you a question...?” Ellie said nervously.

“Yes?”

“How… how are you always so brave and not afraid to do or say things?” Ellie asked with a serious look on her face, she wanted an answer badly and to learn more about you. Ellie wanted to be as confident and bold as you as of right now.

“Hum... I’m not always like that…”

“But you seem so confident most of the time, you just say things and don’t let yourself hesitate.” Ellie sounded a little jealous in her tone. Ellie tried to hold in how impressed she was with your personality. Ellie felt like her whole personality was changing now just because of one person.

“I think it’s so no one really notices how anxious I am all the time.” You said, looking at the ground embarrassed. Ellie’s heart beat fast at this comment, she felt bad for you and the fact that you were always anxious in social situations. Ellie was a little shocked that you would go through all of that every time you talked to someone. “Hey Y/N, if you are ever nervous talking to people, you can always talk to me. I promise that I’ll never feel like you’re bothering me.” Ellie said with a slight smile.

“Thanks Ellie, it’s okay though.” Ellie felt even worse when you said it was alright and that you didn’t need to be anxious around her. Ellie just wanted to feel like she could help you in some way. “Hey, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you needed someone to listen to you.” Ellie sounded pretty serious about this topic. “I mean, you can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you no matter what you’d have to say.”

“Why are you being so nice?” You asked a bit lost in your thoughts. Ellie was surprised by the question. She was even a little shocked, she took a few seconds to think about an answer and not sound weird. “I just… I just like making people happy and I don’t want you to feel like you have no one. I feel like you’re a really cool person and I don’t wanna make you feel like no one cares about you.” Ellie smiled. “… you can ask me anything as well if you want...”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this before? I really thought you didn’t like me for the longest time…” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie got a little awkward hearing this. Ellie was worried this made it seem like she wasn’t interested in you this whole time. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you earlier that I liked talking to you. The main reason I didn’t is probably because I was nervous…” Ellie then went silent for a second. Ellie quickly changed the subject before too many awkward questions got asked. “So, um… can I ask you another question now?”

“Yes?” Ellie took a second before asking her question. She didn’t wanna ask you a weird question and make you uncomfortable. Ellie then decided to just ask a question about yourself. Ellie was super curious about your past and how she is the way she is. “Hey Y/N… how did you get into art?” Y/N smiled softly.

“I have always liked drawing since I was a kid I guess.”

“Oh, that’s cool Y/N.” Ellie thought it was cute that you always liked art ever since you were a kid. Ellie then looked over at you, she was now super curious about one thing that she wanted to ask you. Ellie was quiet as she thought about this question for a second. “H-hey Y/N…” Ellie hesitated to speak at first, but she got the feeling that she had to say what she was thinking. “Why were you always so mean before?”

“It's a defense mechanism, I think.” You responded, shyly. Ellie’s heart started to beat fast at that answer. She felt awful for you, she knew you probably had a rough childhood and used your defense mechanism as a way to cope with it. Ellie now just wanted to hug you, she wanted to show that she’d always care about you.

“Well… even if you feel like you need it as a defense mechanism, I can promise you that you don’t need it around me…” Ellie said while still looking at you  in the eyes. You felt nervous. Ellie kept staring at you as she saw that you were feeling anxious. Ellie was trying to make you as comfortable as possible. Ellie then decided to get even closer. She wanted to let you know that she was gonna be here for you. Ellie smiled as she said.

“Please don’t feel nervous, I’m never gonna judge you… Ever.” Ellie then leaned in and gave you a quick hug like she wanted. You looked at Ellie and smiled softly. You then touched Ellies hand. 

“Thank you.” Ellie felt even happier when you thanked her for hugging you. Ellie felt like her and you were already closer friends and that was just awesome, Ellie then realized something. She never held someone’s hand like this, at this point it seemed like the two of you were getting really close. Ellie’s cheeks turned red as she was now blushing. Ellie was quiet for a second before trying to change the subject. “I wonder what time it is right now?”

“Hmm... “ You looked at your phone to see the time. Ellie decided to also check her phone to see what time it was. Ellie was surprised to see it was already 4:00 pm.

“My goodness, the day is flying by already?! I don’t want it to end!” Ellie said jokingly. Ellie then turned to you and smiled.

“Hey Y/N… do you ever have anything more planned for today or are you just hanging around? Ellie wanted to get to know her friend a bit more.

“It’s the weekend so I don’t have anything planned.” You said casually.

“So you’re free today? Well... um... what if I ask you something then?” Ellie was very nervous at the question she was going to ask. “H-hey Y/N… d-do you maybe wanna hang out for a little bit? I-It’s ok if you don’t want to." Ellie said she was super embarrassed to ask the question but decided to do it anyway.

“Sure, I think I would like that.” Ellie was surprised when you agreed to hang out with her. Ellie could now see herself just talking and hanging out with you all day.

“Oh… t-thank you Y/N… I actually really needed this today…” Ellie gave you a bright smile as her cheeks became a little red. Ellie was really excited to spend time with you and she couldn’t wait to talk to you even more.

“Are you okay?” You asked Ellie. She was surprised at the question. Ellie didn’t even notice that her emotions must have been noticeable on her face.

“O-oh… um... yeah I’m fine… you don’t need to worry about me.” Ellie said awkwardly, her face turning even redder as she tried to hide how she was smiling at you. Ellie felt a little uncomfortable telling you how she felt, she wanted to stay away from her own emotions as much as possible.

“Oh, okay.” You said looking around the room. Ellie then had an idea, she wanted to figure out a way to change the subject. Ellie didn’t want to get all emotional again and have you notice. “Hey… I uh… have a question for you...” Ellie said while slightly hesitating.

“yes?”

“Hum… What do you like to do for fun? I mean besides art of course.” Ellie was curious about Y/N’s interests and what you liked to spend your time doing. Ellie was kinda hoping to join you in your hobby, just so she could spend more time withyou. Ellie wanted to learn more about you and now she had the perfect chance to do so.

“I love video games even though I suck at them.” You smile. Ellie was surprised when you said you loved video games. Ellie loved video games too! Ellie got really excited when she heard you liked them too, now she had another way to interact with you. “Wait .. you’re telling me that you like video games?” Ellie’s eyes lit up and she was now super happy.

“Yeah, what’s your favorite?” You asked her Ellie was so surprised this was a thing that she and you both liked. Ellie really wanted to ask if they could play games together now. Ellie thought about if she was asking too much, but then decided to ask anyway.

“O-oh uh… i uh… l-like a lot of video games actually… I-I actually really like… playing horror games.” Ellie said nervously, she was now trying to think of how you could ask you if she wanted to play video games together.

“Shall we play one together? Just be warned I’m really bad at them” You smiled.

“Oh, I don’t mind if you’re not good at them! I’m fine with it!” Ellie sounded excited in her tone, she was just happy that you agreed to play with her. Ellie felt like she was gonna be closer to you because of your gaming interests. “How about… we play one of your favorite video games first?” Ellie said with a slight smile on her face.

“How about some Mario Kart to start?” Ellie then realized that she never really played any Super Mario games before, but was very happy that she got to try out a new game for the first time. “Sounds good to me!” Ellie smiled.

“Oh, alright then. Do you wanna start?” Ellie now felt even more excited to play the game. Ellie didn’t realize this was one of your favorite games! Ellie now had a really good impression of you now; she was starting to understand what kind of person you were outside of being artistic. Ellie felt even closer to you now than she did when they first met.

“Let's go!” You both start playing.

“Heh… this already seems fun!” Ellie now understood your enthusiasm for video games. Ellie was very focused on the game and tried to get into it as much as she could. She was starting to think that this was also one of her favorite games as well. Ellie kept playing the game, she was having so much fun and she wanted to spend as much time with you . Ellie even felt like the two of you were getting a bit closer already.

“Whoa, you're definitely cheating!” You tease Ellie.

Ellie felt embarrassed after hearing you accusing her of cheating. Ellie was just trying to play the game as well as she could. Ellie tried to defend herself. “Hey! I’m not cheating! I just… I’m just good at playing the game!” Ellie sounded like she was joking, but she really wasn’t cheating. Ellie didn’t want you to think she was cheating on this Super Mario game.

You laughed. “Just messing with you!” You nudge Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie was happy that you laughed. Ellie had a big smile on her face and even giggled a bit when she got nudged by you. Ellie then nudged your shoulder as well. She was then silent as she kept playing the game. Ellie won. She was proud that she won, but at the same time felt bad for you that she lost. Ellie thought about asking you to play again right now. Ellie didn’t wanna brag about winning.

“Hey Y/N… can we play again?” Ellie asked with a nervous smile on her face.

“Okay, but I'm going to win this time, just you wait!” Ellie smiled at you and just knew that it was gonna be super fun. Ellie liked how confident and competitive you were. Ellie got her controller ready and was excited to play! She then decided to get the game started and the characters picked. Ellie decided to go with her favorite character, Luigi! She got ready to try her hardest to win this time. Ellie was silent as she got ready for the game to start again. You chose Peach and then started the game.

Ellie was super focused, she really wanted to win so she tried her absolute hardest to not make any mistakes. Ellie looked out for any power ups or any good opportunity she could use to her advantage to win this game and beat you. Ellie was silent as she was playing this time. Ellie’s smile faded once she made a mistake and was now trying to recover. Ellie felt a bit nervous as she didn’t know if she was gonna win this time. You were in the lead, smiling.

Ellie’s eyes filled with worry as she saw that you were in the lead and winning. Ellie couldn’t help but try her hardest to get it back from her. Ellie was still a little nervous that she wasn’t gonna win this time. She tried to do everything in her power just to try and catch up with you and win the game. Ellie’s face was filled with concentration as she kept.

You stuck her tongue out in concentration. Ellie was trying not to laugh when she saw you sticking your tongue out in concentration. Ellie tried to hold back and focus on the game and winning. Ellie was in close second place in this game now though. Ellie’s heart started beating faster as she was a little excited that she was this close to winning the game. Ellie stayed quiet still for now and focused on playing. Ellie was super excited and nervous at the same time.

You won the game and jumped excitedly as it ended Ellie felt her heart beat quickly when she lost. Ellie was so close to winning but then got beat at the end! She felt a mix of emotions when the game ended. Ellie’s face was a mix of shock and disappointment. Ellie was not only happy she got to spend time with you but a little sad she didn’t win the game. 

You celebrated for a bit and tripped landing on Ellie, her face grew bright red. Ellie felt surprised when you tripped and fell onto her and felt a bit embarrassed. Ellie then started laughing a little when she saw that your face turned bright red. Ellie could now see your real face, it was super cute. Ellie’s face was a mix of embarrassment and laughing while smiling at you. She felt a little hot and got nervous.

You quickly recomposed herself, embarrassed. “Sorry about that.”

Ellie still smiled and said: “O-oh it’s completely fine...” Ellie then realized how close her face was to yours. Ellie quickly turned her head away from yours just so she wouldn’t get too embarrassed. Now Ellie’s face was bright red too. You sat, both really nervous. Ellie felt like it got super silent all of a sudden. She couldn’t help but feel nervous after what just happened. Ellie was wondering how she could continue this conversation and get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

You relaxed a bit and held Ellies hand looking straight ahead at the tv, still nervous. Ellie was stunned to be honest when you suddenly decided to hold her hand.  Ellie’s face felt really hot as she had no clue how to respond to this situation. For now, Ellie stayed silent. Ellie then started to play with your hand a little bit. Ellie wanted to make you even more comfortable and closer to her.

You felt Ellies touch and got butterflies. Ellie felt like she was melting. Ellie liked holding your hand and it felt really nice. She then held your hand a little closer to her chest. She liked the feeling of having you so close to her now and didn’t wanna break this precious moment. Ellie was quiet as she still played with your hand a little bit.

You got really nervous and took your hand back. “Sorry. huh... I think I should go...”

Ellie felt her stomach sink to hear that. Ellie felt hurt when you took your hand away. She was now left silent and felt like she could say anything to get you to stay with her. Ellie’s eyes looked at you but she didn’t say anything for now. She was just waiting for you to say something…

“I’m sorry, I... see you tomorrow yeah?” You left her room feeling super anxious about what happened and headed to your own bedroom.

Ellie was shocked to see you leave. She was super confused about why you left so suddenly. Ellie was scared that she did something wrong and wanted you to know she cared about you. Ellie didn’t want you to leave at all.

You couldn't believe how close you and Ellie had been. You closed your bedroom door and sat down playing the moment in your head. Ellie then slowly got up from the couch and knocked on your door. She was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were alright. Ellie just couldn’t bring herself to leave her friend like this. “Y/N… are you okay? Please...” Ellie hesitated for a bit. “Can I come inside?”

You don't respond waiting for Ellie to go away. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you just like that. Ellie kept knocking on the door for a bit before finally deciding to just open the door herself. Ellie felt kind of bad for opening the door without any permission but she just didn’t want to leave you alone like that. Ellie was quiet as she just didn’t wanna say anything wrong. “I’m sorry for just opening the door like that...”

You looked up, nervous. Ellie kept her eyes on you and said. “Y/N… can you please tell me what happened? Why did you just leave like that? It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it but please… tell me what happened.”

Ellie looked worried when talking to you. Ellie still wanted to know what happened but she also didn’t want to push you too much. She was now silent while waiting for a response.

You didn’t know how to respond.  “I think I just got too anxious. Ellie saw that you were kinda embarrassed and anxious. Ellie realized that she definitely put some pressure on you asking you stuff. She then tried to lighten the tone a bit.

“Oh, it’s alright… you don’t have to tell me anything…  I just don’t wanna do anything that ends up hurting your feelings or making you feel a little anxious.” Ellie smiled sweetly at you and looked a little worried.

“Thanks, Ellie. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? “ You wanted to be alone to calm down right now

Ellie saw you and nodded her head. Ellie understood that you  just needed to be left alone for now. Ellie didn’t really wanna leave you but understood why she had to do it. She let out a small sigh. “Okay... see you tomorrow, Y/N.” Ellie walked out and closed the door behind her.

You let out a long sigh when the door closed.

Ellie walked back to her room as well and then sat down on her bed. She just felt a bit disappointed in herself. She wondered, “What did I do wrong this time?” Ellie just tried to be nice to you and it ended up like this… Ellie just couldn’t comprehend what made you leave. Ellie just felt a bit scared she might not even be friends with you anymore …

You got in bed and tried to sleep. Ellie got into bed as well but couldn’t sleep. Ellie felt even more anxious and worried about what she did. She realized she had to do something or else the tension between her and you wouldn’t get fixed at all. Ellie then got up and decided to go over to your room to talk. Ellie couldn’t just wait around and do nothing and wanted to apologize as quickly as possible. Ellie didn’t wanna wait until morning…

You heard a knock at your door. Ellie waited a few seconds before knocking again at the door. She just hoped that you would answer and let her in already. Ellie really wanted to talk to you and see if all the tension between the two of them could just be fixed. She kept knocking for a few more seconds waiting for you to answer.

“Yes?”

“Can I please come in?” Ellie sounded so nervous. She was almost begging for you to just let her inside already. Ellie thought of you as a close friend and this was the last person she wanted to upset.

“Yes, come in Ellie.” You sat up in your bed. Ellie quickly walked inside and closed the door. Ellie went to go sit next to you and just had to try and explain herself. Ellie’s face was filled with concern. “Y/N… can I... talk about what happened before? Please I just….” Ellie froze for a second and didn’t say anything for a bit, she just didn���t wanna mess anything up again.

“It's my fault. I’m sorry.” You said hugging your own legs. Ellie looked surprised to see you blame yourself. Ellie then decided to at least try and assure you it’s not her fault.

“No Y/N… please. This isn’t your fault at all. You don’t have to worry.” Ellie smiled at you and just wanted to make you know everything was alright. Ellie stayed silent for a bit. “Can I please just know why you suddenly left like that?”

“I never... I never held someone’s hand like that and I got scared I think...” Ellie felt super surprised to hear what you just said. She then felt a bit confused but also interested at the same time.

“Y/N… What do you mean? Have you never held someone’s hand before?” Ellie felt a little shocked to say this. Ellie looked at you  with a confused look on her face.

You looked down. “No, I know you’ve had a few relationships but I’ve never done anything like this before.” Ellie had her suspicions that you didn’t really have this kind of experience at all. “… so let me get this right. You had never held anyone’s hand… especially another girl…?” Ellie’s face was filled with curiosity now. Ellie looked at you and expected a response.

You nodded embarrassed. Ellie now felt kind of bad for you as she could tell you were feeling embarrassed about this. “Oh wow… so I guess I was sort of your first person to do that with?” Ellie asked while smiling at you. 

“Yeah, you were... and I felt too overwhelmed…” Ellie looked at you for a few seconds. She was surprised to hear that she was your first girl to go this far with. Ellie felt more concern hearing this come from you. She didn’t know how to respond. Ellie saw your face turn bright red, almost as if you were blushing. Ellie was thinking of ways to comfort and make you feel more comfortable again. She didn’t want to have anything awkward or uncomfortable like this happen again between you.

“Y/N… you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m here for you if you need it.” Ellie said, looking at you. Ellie knew she couldn’t say any more words to make you feel better. She knew words wouldn’t really change anything. Ellie didn’t wanna leave you alone like this because she didn’t wanna hurt your feelings. She was kinda scared to say anything now.

“I’ve never been with a girl before. I had a boyfriend or two but realized I didn’t really like boys.”

Ellie felt curious to know more details. “Oh… if you don’t mind me asking, what made you realize you didn’t like boys anymore?”

“Never felt attracted to them but I tried since it seemed to be what everybody did.” Ellie felt sad to hear that you didn’t feel that attraction when it came to boys but Ellie understood why you would’ve tried it out since it seems like a lot of people did it too. “Oh… I’m sorry to hear that you felt like you had to try those kinds of things just because everybody else did it.” Ellie paused for a second. “Did you ever feel attracted to me at all?”

You blushed when Ellie asked that. Ellie smiled when she saw you blushing at her question. “Y/N… do you wanna know why I asked you that question?” You looked at Ellie waiting for her to speak. “Well, I’m gonna be honest with you here… I felt kinda attracted to you myself.” Ellie looked down at her lap feeling nervous when saying this. Ellie was almost red at this point, she was so nervous about how you would respond to her statement. You blushed even more as if  that could be possible. You did know what to respond, but you had had a crush on Ellie since forever. You just hid it really well.

“Y/N… can I tell you something?”

“Yes Ellie”? You asked nervous.

Ellie took a deep breath before saying what she wanted to say. She was shaking a bit due to the nervousness. “Y/N… I have to say… I’ve had a crush on you… for a while now…” Ellie waited to see your response to this. Ellie was starting to sweat. She was so nervous.

You looked Ellie in her green eyes. Ellie didn’t really know what to say next when she met your eyes.  “Y/N… I wanna let you know that I’ve felt like this for quite a while and I feel so lucky that I can be friends with you.” Ellie  felt like she just couldn’t look away from your eyes. She felt her heart beating loudly against her chest. 

“So... that was why you were always teasing me before?” You smiled. Ellie just nodded yes when you asked her. Ellie smiled shyly again when you smiled at her for that comment. She felt like she could get closer to you again.

Ellie then put her arm around you as she smiled and then slowly pulled you closer to her. Ellie then hugged you before saying. “I’m so glad you’re my friend…”

You got caught by surprise when Ellie hugged you at first but then you  hugged Ellie back. She then started to lean on you a little bit. Ellie was feeling so comfortable and relaxed now. Ellie just wanted to be closer to you. Ellie now laid her head on your chest as she also felt your arm lay on top of her. She then decided to move her head to your neck before saying. “Your neck feels so soft….” Ellie said this in a very gentle but also teasing way, she smiled sweetly again.

“Ellie, this is a lot to process.”

Ellie looked up at you again, she was now holding your hand. “Hey… don’t worry too much about it alright? I’m glad you at least know what I feel for you now. You don’t have to say anything either. Just know that I’m here for you if you need anything… always!”

You look at Ellie sweetly. Ellie smiled back and just kept holding your hand as she now wanted to cuddle with you a bit. Ellie wanted to sit you on her lap. “Come on… let’s cuddle a little bit.” Ellie said while pointing towards her lap in a sweet way.

You sat closer to Ellie as she then gently pulled you onto her lap. Ellie was starting to gently rub your back. She whispered to you. “I’m glad I can finally cuddle you and hold you this close… I’ve wanted to do this for so long…”

You melted into the cuddle not really believing this was happening right now. Ellie continued to cuddle with you as she felt pretty happy. “Y/N…. Can I say something?”

“What is it?”

“… I’ve always wanted to cuddle with you and just wanted to be close to you forever… I even imagined things like this but always thought it would never happen. And now that it’s actually happening … I can’t believe it. I’m just so happy right now.” Ellie’s face had the biggest smile ever. Ellie looked at you again while still cuddling. Ellie wanted to say more stuff but didn’t want it to be too much for you.

You blushed more and your heart was beating really fast. Ellie could tell that you were feeling nervous and shy at this moment. She decided to whisper something so she put her lips very close to your ear and just whispered. “You’re honestly the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.” Ellie then slowly kissed you on the neck. Ellie felt her heart racing too.

You almost jumped as Ellie kissed your neck. Ellie stopped for a moment and looked at you. Ellie pulled you towards her and started to kiss you on the lips. She was starting to feel a bit light headed. You were surprised by the kiss at first. After a few seconds you kissed Ellie back. But you were really nervous though.

Ellie kept kissing you as she wanted to express all her feelings. Ellie just felt so overwhelmed by the feelings right now and she didn’t wanna hide it from you anymore. Ellie’s face was now completely red due to the amount of blushing. She loved every moment of this kiss.

You broke the kiss. She was a bit flustered. “Ellie... I...”

“What is it?” Ellie looked really surprised to hear you say “Ellie…” like you just had to say something. Ellie was just a bit confused. Ellie now thought of another thing to say.“Y/N… that was the best kiss ever.” Ellie said this in a really soft and romantic tone.

Your heart felt like it was going to jump right out of your chest as Ellie said that. Ellie then got closer and gently started to kiss you again. Ellie’s face was still red. She just wanted to keep expressing how she felt and showing you how much she loved you.

“Ellie.... I’m... I think I’m not ready for more yet... this is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never done this before...”

Ellie was pretty surprised when you said this as she thought of how she was the one who wanted to keep doing it. “Oh… well it’s fine… you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do alright?” Ellie tried to sound as sweet and gentle with her tone as possible.

You went back to hugging Ellie. She hugged you back as tightly as possible. Ellie’s face was still red as she hugged you. Ellie just kept her lips near your ear as she whispered. “Thank you… thank you so much…” Ellie continued to hug you as she was still very happy.

“Ells I think maybe we should go to sleep. It's late.”

Ellie thought for a second, she didn’t wanna leave you yet. “You’re right… but can I at least lay my head on your shoulder for the night? Can I please stay with you a bit more?” Ellie was now trying to convince you to let her stay with her a little longer.

“Okay. “ You agreed. You both laid in your bed and Ellie put her head on your shoulder before going to sleep. Ellie was feeling happy but also kinda tired at the same time. She was now falling asleep with a smile on her face from what just happened a little while ago. 

You fell asleep feeling happy. You couldn’t believe Ellie liked you. Ellie couldn’t stop smiling as she was laying down with you. Ellie was starting to think if she should kiss you again but decided not to since it was late. She looked up at the ceiling and just started to slowly drift into a deep sleep.

As the morning came Ellie slowly opened her eyes. Ellie then realized she was in your bed. Ellie was pretty surprised as she sat up while covering herself with the sheets. She looked over at you to see if she was awake yet or not. You were still asleep. Ellie then decided to lie back down on your shoulder and just watched you as you slept. Ellie was really curious to know what you were thinking about. You seemed like you were dreaming about something.

Ellie continued to watch you as you slept trying to get any idea of what was happening in your dream. She was just very curious but also didn’t want to wake you up just yet. Ellie was really just hoping you were having a good dream at least.

Your breaths start getting heavier. Ellie noticed then took a deep breath before saying something. “Hey there… Are you starting to wake up?” Ellie wanted to know if you were finally waking up. Ellie was really hoping you were still having a good dream though. You make an uncomfortable face while still asleep.

Ellie noticed you making some kind of face. Ellie then gently shook your shoulder to see if you would fully wake up. Ellie didn’t want you to have a bad dream or be uncomfortable. You were having a nightmare. Ellie didn’t wanna have you wake up and remember this nightmare. Ellie kissed you on the cheek. Ellie looked for your reaction to the kiss, she hoped this could cheer you up. You opened her eyes and were surprised and almost scared to see Ellie looking at you since you normally sleep alone. Ellie quickly gave a reassuring smile as she noticed you woke up and looked at her. “Hey… I noticed that you weren’t having such a good dream. It’s okay… you’re awake now. You don’t have to be worried when I’m around you alright.” Ellie  smiled again before kissing your cheek. Ellie wanted to cheer you up as soon as possible.

You eventually calmed down. “Good morning, Ellie.”

Ellie then started to feel a bit awkward since she wasn’t sure what to say now after you spoke to her.

“Good morning… Are you feeling alright now?” Ellie still wanted you to feel okay. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, you?”

Ellie felt pretty happy to hear that you were now feeling okay. “Yeah, I’m feeling alright… I was a bit worried after I noticed that you were having a nightmare.” Ellie waited for your response again after she said that. She wanted to know if you were alright now or not.

You stop for a moment remembering your nightmare, You didn’t really want to talk about it. “I’m okay.”  You held Ellie’s hand. Ellie noticed that you didn’t want to talk about your nightmare. Ellie smiled at you as she held your hand.

“Well… I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a bit. Sound, okay? I’m gonna make something for both of us.” Ellie opened the door of your bedroom and walked out while blushing.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there in a few moments.” Ellie then closed the door and walked off to the kitchen to get things ready for you and her. She wanted to make a big breakfast in order to cheer you up. Ellie started to make the breakfast as she wanted things to be perfect.

You went to the bathroom and washed your face. Ellie was still in the kitchen, almost done. Ellie put the last thing in and set it down on the table. Ellie was pretty proud of what she made for you. Ellie hoped that you would like what she made. She walked into the living room.  “Hey, breakfast is ready now. Do you wanna join me?”

“I’ll be there in a minute!” You said finishing your business in the bathroom.

Ellie was pretty happy to hear that you would be joining her for breakfast. She walked up to the table and sat down just waiting for you. Ellie then grabbed a fork and started to eat some of her own breakfast. You joined Ellie, happy that she made breakfast for the two of you.

Ellie smiled at you and invited her to sit next to her. Ellie wanted to know what you thought about the food. “Y/N, try my food… I made this just for you. See if you like it.”

Ellie was a bit excited to hear your response. “It’s really good Ellie, thank you.”

Ellie smiled at you and felt happy that you liked the food. Ellie then kept eating her own food, she just liked having you so close to her. Ellie then finished eating and looked at you to see if she was done too. Ellie was just feeling happy now and a bit tired too. “I’ll be in my room now… you can find me there whenever you need me, okay?”

“Okay Ells.” Ellie then got up and walked away from the table. She was going back to her own room while trying to hold back on blushing. Ellie sat down on her bed and just kept thinking about you and what happened last night between you. Ellie was tired and decided to go to sleep. 

You clean up the table and head to her own bedroom. Ellie continued to sleep as she was feeling really tired. Ellie was now dreaming about you and was smiling a lot in her dream. She felt really happy and at peace right now in her dream.

You sat in your bed thinking about last night’s events. You were happy but conflicted at the same time. How could Ellie change so much in just a couple of days? She used to act like she hated you before every time they interacted. She still remembers all the nasty arguments they’ve had.

Ellie was sleeping deeply and  was still dreaming about you and was holding her hands while they slept. Ellie felt a lot of things for you and just wanted to be with you for the rest of her life. Ellie still kept holding onto you  in her dream. She would never let you go.

You decided to go and talk to Dina, your mutual friend. Maybe she could give some advice. You headed to Dina’s house and knocked on the door. You were thinking of what you should even say to Dina right now. You were just feeling a bit anxious and didn’t know how you could explain her situation. You waited for Dina to come to the door. “Hi Dina! Can I come in? I need some advice on something.” Dina let you come inside and closed the door behind you. Dina looked at you and was curious to see what she needed when it came to advice.. “Okay, what do you need advice on?”

“You know me and Ellie got assigned as roommates, right?”

Dina nodded as she started to speak. “Yes, of course I remember. You 2 were assigned as roommates.” Dina just kept a steady look at you.

“You know how me and her always break into fights and arguments all the time…” Dina nodded once again as she kept listening to what you were saying. Dina had a feeling she knew where this was leading to but was curious to hear you speak anyway.

“Ellie kissed me last night, Dina. I don’t know how to feel…”

Dina started to look confused as she realized that this was what this was about. “Wait… what? Ellie kissed you?” Dina was a bit surprised when she heard this because she thought Ellie hated you. Dina kept listening to you while trying to make sense of everything.

“Yeah, and she said she had a crush on me for the longest time and I can’t understand why she was always so mean to me” Dina was just really confused as to what was going on. “Wait… so Ellie has liked you for a while now?” Dina was just trying to get a better understanding of what the whole situation was like between Ellie and you.

“That’s what she told me. And you know I like girls but I’ve never been with one and don’t want this to end badly.” Dina was really listening to what you were telling her and was a bit confused on why Ellie was actually mean to you.

“Huh… So Ellie liked you for a while now and has kept it a secret?” Dina then smiled when you mentioned that you liked girls. “So… you like Ellie too then?”

“I think so, I don’t know. She seems like a whole different person right now.”

Dina then started to speak again to you. “Yeah, that is strange… Ellie didn’t really act like she liked you at all. Especially since she’s always been so mean to you. But… does that mean you want to be with her then?”

“That’s why I’m here, do you think this is a good idea?”

Dina thought about this question for a bit before she spoke. “If I’m being honest with you… I do think it sounds like a pretty good idea… just give it a try and see what happens. Just don’t try to force anything… be yourself and just think about what makes you comfortable with each other okay?” Dina just wanted you to listen to her words and know that she was always there for you.

“Thanks Dina. “ Dina invited you to her party later that day. “No problem, honey… oh, and I’m also planning on throwing a party in a couple of hours.” Dina then looked at you and waited for your response. Dina wanted to make sure you were fine with this. “You can come if you want… it’s just gonna be a few people.”

“That sounds good, I’ll see if Ellie wants to come too. “

You hug Dina. Dina hugged you back. “Alright, just see if you can bring Ellie too.” Dina then let go of you as she was still smiling. “See you later then Dins, bye! Thank you for the advice!” Dina smiled again and nodded. “No problem… talk to you later honey!” Dina then went back to her own apartment and she closed the door behind her.

You were feeling better after the talk she had with Dina about you and Ellie and were now just thinking about what Ellie really feels. You then shook your head and tried to not think about that any longer. You then started to think about what to do with the rest of her day. You get home and go to your bedroom to pick her outfit for the party.

Ellie was still feeling a bit awkward about breakfast. Ellie then sat on her bed and started to get dressed. She thought for a moment about what outfit to choose for the day. Ellie eventually decided to put on her favorite flannel and her trusty black converse. 

“Hey Ellie! Dina invited us for a party at her house in a bit. You want to come too?”

Ellie noticed that you were done putting your outfit on. “Hey, Y/N, yeah, sounds fun.” A few minutes pass and Ellie is nervous.  “Hey, are you ready to go? The party should be starting soon.”

“Almost ready!”

Ellie smiled at you and spoke. “Okay, then we ought to get going. The party isn’t that far away and I think it’s about to start.” Ellie started to walk towards the front door while also expecting you to follow her.

Ellie looks at you in your favorite dress all dolled up. Ellie then smiled and was really proud of the dress you chose. Ellie then went over to you and gently put her hand on your shoulder. “You look really beautiful… I really love that dress. It suits you really well.”

Ellie then leaned in and kissed your cheek. It was like Ellie couldn’t resist flirting with you. She felt a bit flustered around you after you kissed her last night.

“Thanks Ellie, you look nice too! Let’s go then.”

Ellie smiled again while still blushing a bit. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door with you. Ellie felt a bit happy now while also feeling a bit nervous about the party. No one knew you were okay together. Everyone still thinks you two hate each other. Except Dina but Ellie doesn’t know that yet. Ellie took your hand gently and walked out of the door. Ellie felt a bit happy while also feeling nervous about what you would do while you were at the party. Ellie doesn’t know you told Dina about your kissing yesterday. Ellie continued to walk through the city streets with you right next to her.

“So, this party is just gonna be a really small event… Dina invited me earlier today to it.” You said. Ellie smiled and kept holding your hand.

“It’s gonna be fun to spend some time with friends and to relax before the day ends.”

“Yeah Ells, it’s gonna be fun, I think Jesse is going too.”

Ellie smiled again and was happy to hear that her friend Jesse was also going to be at the party. Ellie then continued to hold your hand. “Yeah, it’s gonna be fun! And it’ll be nice to see him.”

You arrive at Dina’s house. You both knocked on Dina’s door so she would let you in. After a few moments, Dina opened up the door. Dina smiled when she saw Ellie and you there. “Ellie! Y/N! You two are finally here… the party is about to start!” Dina invited both of you into her apartment. “Hi Dins! you look amazing!” You keep talking to Dina. 

Ellie doesn’t feel ready for everyone to know about you two and goes to sit in the living room. Dina smiled and nodded when she saw Ellie in the living room. Ellie sat down on a sofa and started to feel tense. Ellie was worried that you would tell everyone about your situation soon. Ellie couldn’t stop thinking about this and just kept trying to relax herself.

You and Dina started talking and Ellie couldn’t resist listening. Ellie kept listening in on what You and Dina were talking about. Ellie noticed that you were talking about how things between you and Ellie went over the past few days. Ellie felt worried as well because she didn’t want Dina telling anyone what they had just done the night before. Ellie felt a bit nervous while still keeping an ear on the conversation.

You notice Ellie looking at you. Ellie then blushed since she knew you were watching her. She then turned away while trying to stay quiet on the sofa. The music started playing as Jesse arrived with the drinks. Dina looked over at Jesse as he arrived. Ellie started to feel worried as well as she saw Jesse walk over to them.

“Hey!” Ellie greeted Jesse. “Missed you man!” Jesse smiled at Ellie as he put down the bottles he was carrying. “Hey Ellie! Nice to see you again, how’ve you been?” Jesse then looked over at you. “Come and take a drink everyone! “ Jesse said loudly. Dina and Ellie both decided to get drinks and walked over to Jesse. Ellie took a drink while she spoke. “Thanks Jesse, and I’ve been doing alright. How about you?” Ellie was smiling while she spoke and felt a bit better after having her first drink of the night. Ellie smiled a bit more as she started to talk while she was drinking. “It’s so nice to relax… I needed this. Thanks Jesse.” Ellie drank a bit more she kept smiling now.

*An hour passes*

Ellie was feeling more relaxed because she was drunk right now. Ellie was dancing to some of the music and was having fun while also watching you and Dina dance together.

Ellie spoke to Jesse. “Jesse… you know… this party is a lot of fun right? I haven’t felt this relaxed since… well... since now.”

Ellie felt like she was in her own world. She starts to forget about the past few days due to the drinking and starts dancing with another girl. Ellie was having so much fun dancing with the girl that she wasn’t thinking about what had happened the other days. Dina and you were dancing with each other and were having a good time as well. You looked at Ellie and saw she was dancing with another girl. You felt nauseous.

Ellie kept dancing with the girl who was just enjoying herself as well. Ellie was so drunk that she didn’t even notice that you were seeing her dance with the other girl. She just kept dancing with her and having a great time. Ellie then spoke to the girl she was dancing with. “Hey! You know… you’re a really good dancer…” Ellie then laughed a bit and kept dancing. They were touching bodies and almost kissing her. Ellie kept dancing with the girl and was smiling so much. She felt so free doing this right now. Ellie just kept dancing and drinking. Ellie laughed a little bit when the girl kissed her. It’s like Ellie was drunk to the point where she was forgetting that you were even there.

You ask Dina who the girl is. Dina spoke as she was dancing with you. “Oh, I only know her first name… which is Jenny. She actually works with me and asked me if she could tag along with this party.” Dina was now just keeping an eye on Ellie while dancing “I think I know her? Wasn’t Ellie in love with her at some point?” Dina then looked at you and spoke. “I’m not sure if Ellie was in love with her because Ellie never told me.” Dina then kept dancing with you as she saw Ellie drinking some more.

“Come honey, no need for you to be watching this, I’ll go give Ellie a talking.” Dina said. “I’ll be right back.”

Dina left you in the kitchen and went over to talk to Ellie. Ellie was drunk and didn’t seem to care that this was happening. The girls kept dancing while they were kissing. Ellie looked happy now as she was kissing Jenny. Dina pulled Ellie out of there and far away from the girl.  "Are you stupid or just plain mean?" Dina asked Ellie. She was still drunk and didn’t respond to Dina immediately. Ellie thought back to what she just did and couldn’t believe she did that to you.

“I-I… I don't even know what came over me… I was just thinking about Y/N and then this girl just came up and-“ Ellie started to feel a bit upset as she was remembering what she just did.

“That's no excuse!” Dina said. A few of the other people at the party heard Dina and Ellie arguing. “Dina… I’m really sorry… I-I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better. I should’ve just controlled my feelings better…” Ellie was trying to fight back the tears that were starting to roll down her cheeks. Ellie felt so mad at herself for doing what she did. “You better tell Y/N that then!” Dina almost shouted at Ellie. Ellie then sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes as she started to calm herself down. “Yeah… I need to talk to her…” Ellie was now ready to set everything straight with you.

You had left Dina’s house in a hurry, to get away from Ellie, crying. Ellie saw you leave. She started to chase after you. Ellie didn’t want you to be crying. She managed to catch up. “Y/N, wait… let me explain… I’m really-“

Before Ellie could even finish her sentence, you turned and started to walk away again.

You stop in her tracks and look at Ellie.  "I can’t believe you just did that." You were mad and hurt.  Ellie then slowly stopped as she saw you turn to look at her. Ellie wiped her eyes and spoke. “Y/N… I was drunk and wasn’t thinking straight… I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have even danced with that girl and… and I shouldn’t have kissed her.” Ellie then looked away as she felt ashamed for what she just did.

“Am I just a toy to you?  Forget it… I’m going home, just leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait!” Ellie then tried to keep you from leaving by stepping right in front of her. “No… you’re not a toy to me… Y/N please… I… just listen to me for a moment…” Ellie then started to explain everything while she was still crying. “You… you have to believe me… I-I love you… I just couldn’t control my feelings anymore… and… I didn’t want to lie about them to you anymore…”

“Why would you do a thing like that in front of me!?” You shouted. Ellie kept crying and spoke. “I don’t know… I still don’t know why I did it… I-I just felt like it was gonna be the right choice at the time… but… you’re right… I shouldn’t have done it. I-I never wanted to hurt you like this.” Ellie started to feel really guilty for hurting you.

“You should have thought about that before!” You said, angry. Ellie kept wiping her eyes. “Oh god… I’m so stupid… I’m really really stupid, Y/N… I-I don’t deserve someone like you after everything I just did to you.” Ellie just kept feeling guilty. 

“And I know you used to like you or maybe you still do, just stay away from me and go to her since you are so eager.” You started crying.

“I-I don’t like her… anymore that is… I… I only like you now Y/N… please… just give me a chance to… to fix all this… please… I-I love you… I don’t want to hurt you and… and I don’t want to lose you…” Ellie kept trying to reason with you just to get one last chance to make everything right with her. You walk home.

“Y/N, please wait… please… I still love you… Don’t leave me like this…” Ellie was still trying to get a last chance to fix all of this…  Ellie was still holding out on the hope that things could be better between You two.

“And I can't believe I have to live in the same house as you, just do what you want but don’t bother me.” You said sadly. Ellie got the feeling you didn’t want to talk to her. She started to let you leave so that you could just have some space. Ellie was still hurt and crying a bit. She felt like she had lost you after this.

You get home and go directly to your room.

Ellie just stayed outside the house for a few more minutes as she kept wiping away her tears. She then finally went back inside to her room. Ellie just laid on her bed and kept crying. Ellie couldn’t believe how things turned out in the end… She lost you because of her foolish decision. She gets up from bed and walks to your door. Ellie tries to talk to you and knocks at your bedroom door. She kept knocking gently. Ellie  waited a few moments before knocking again. She was trying her best to be gentle and didn’t want to upset you even more. “Y/N? I-it’s me… Ellie… I-if you wanna… c-can I come in please?” Ellie opened the door cautiously then walked into your room and shut the door behind her. Ellie turned to face you. “I-I… I just wanted to say one more thing to you now that I’m sober… I-if you’ll listen to me, I mean…”

“What do you want?” You ask crying.

“I… I just wanted to say sorry… and… I hope you can forgive me for what just happened…” Ellie wiped her eyes and didn’t know what to do now. She was scared that you wouldn’t accept her apology and that Ellie had permanently ruined the relationship between you.

“I need time to think.” You say in a low and sad tone.

“T-take all the time you need…” Ellie just continued to stand in your room. She didn’t know what else to say or do right now. All Ellie wanted was to fix everything between her and you. Ellie was scared that if she were to leave the room right now that you wouldn’t forgive her. Your face was red from crying, and you did not look at Ellie.

Ellie felt really bad about seeing you like that and she wasn’t sure if she did the right thing by trying to talk to you. Ellie’s face was also a bit red from crying earlier and she didn’t want you to see her like that. Ellie tried to look everywhere but you. “Y/N? I… I-I’m really sorry… I- I… I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after what just happened…”

“Why did you do it?” You ask sadly. Ellie felt like crying but then started to explain to you again. “Like I said… I-I can’t control my feelings… I just thought that dancing with her and… and-“ Ellie then just remained silent for a few seconds as she didn’t want to say more. 

“and?” You ask sadly.

Ellie then looked back at you. “And… I don’t know… I-I thought doing that would be alright…” Ellie started to feel tired and was just confused and didn’t know what her feelings meant anymore. She sighed. “Y/N… I… don’t know why I did all of this now that I’m more sober. I-I just want everything to be okay again…”

“Do you like her?” You asked quietly. Ellie just remained silent for a few moments as she was thinking about it. “No… I don’t like Jenny… I only like you now.” Ellie was starting to calm down.

“Why did you kiss her?” You were really hurt by Ellie's actions. Ellie felt scared for a moment then took a deep breath before she spoke. “I was drunk… and I didn’t mean for it to happen… I should’ve known better though… I-I just thought that would’ve been what I should do then… I was being stupid…” Ellie just didn’t want you to hate her. Ellie felt bad for how dumb she was just a few moments ago.

“Why did you treat me so badly before all this?” You ask her, tears falling down your face.

Ellie looked down at the ground. “I-I… I just- I just thought I should ignore that I liked you… I didn’t want to ruin things between us when I told you how I felt… b-but…” Ellie was starting to feel more of her emotions come back. Ellie started to feel sad. “I just made it worse in the end… I should’ve just told you the truth right away…” Ellie was really starting to worry. She was scared that she might’ve ruined the relationship between her and you. She went back to sitting down on your bed, she was too tired to stand now. “Y/N? …Please let me make this up to you…”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” You say angry.  Ellie started to think for a moment. She didn’t know how she was gonna make up for what she just did. She just kept sitting there not saying anything for a long time. Ellie was scared and didn’t know what to do,  then looked up at you as if she was about to say something. She wanted to make things right with you but she didn’t know how to do it.

You wipe your tears away. “Y/N?” Ellie spoke again “I know I can’t make things up to you right now but… I want you to know that I don’t like Jenny… I only like you… ok?” Ellie felt bad that you were still crying. Ellie just wanted to do something to make you happy again. You looked at Ellie very seriously.  Ellie was looking back at you but she felt a bit scared. She didn’t want to say anything to offend you anymore but she also wanted to help make you feel better. “Y/N? … I-I …” Ellie seemed to have an idea to make you feel better again. You continued looking, waiting for her to talk. Ellie stood up and walked towards you. She was going to take a risk right now and she was a bit nervous.

“Y/N? … Can I kiss you?” Ellie was waiting for your answer on this… she didn’t know if you would allow her to kiss her because of everything that just happened.

You looked sad and surprised at Ellies words? Ellie felt afraid as she kept waiting for you to respond. Ellie could feel her heart beating in her chest as she thought this could ruin things more than if she hadn’t just asked you. She couldn’t bear to mess up with you again. She started to get a feeling in her gut that you were gonna say no to her. “Please? … I-I need this right now… I-I hope you still feel the same way about me… please…”

You looked up at Ellie, still very sad. Ellie was  really close to you and she could feel her heart beating in her chest. Ellie was afraid but she also felt like she had to make her first move now because she didn’t want to ruin what was left with you. Then she leaned in and went in for the kiss. Ellie felt her lips touch yours and she felt so relieved that you let her kiss you.

You kissed Ellie back, still crying. Ellie started to kiss harder, she got the feeling that you were crying but she couldn’t tell if it was because you were still hurt or just happy. She kept kissing you and was beginning to hold you closer. Ellie kept feeling like she needed to hold onto everything she could with you or else she’d lose her forever.

You melted into the kiss and put her arms around Ellie. Ellie then kept kissing you for a while. She felt so happy. Ellie started to hug you tighter and she didn’t want this to end anytime soon.

Ellie then decided to sit down on the bed with you and she kept kissing you om. You let Ellie take the lead since she's done this before and you haven't. Ellie kept kissing you and the more she kissed her the happier she felt. Ellie felt so lucky that you were giving her another chance. Then Ellie started to kiss you on the neck a little bit and started to take things a little further… 

“Ellie.., i... I've never done this before.”

Ellie felt a bit confused. “What- wait… what… d-did you mean that… Y/N?” Ellie thought she just heard it wrong. Ellie was wondering if you meant she never kissed anyone before? Or if that meant something else?

“I never... had…” You were embarrassed to say the word.” I’ve never had sex.... “ You said this very very quietly .” I’m still a virgin.....”

Ellie’s face got red as she thought she heard you right. “W-wait… really?… I-I… you…”

Ellie was so in love right now. She kissed you back harder and for a much longer time. She pulled you close to her, Ellie just couldn’t stop kissing your lips. Ellie was starting to kiss you on the neck. She felt so happy, she was enjoying this way too much and she didn’t want to stop.

You let out tiny moans as you felt Ellie kiss her neck. Ellie then pulled you even closer towards her, pushing you up against her. Ellie started to kiss your lips again for a while. She put her hands on your cheeks, holding your face. Ellie felt like doing this forever but… she knew she couldn’t, she didn’t want to get too into it.

Ellie then pulled back from the kiss and was breathing heavily. Ellie looked at you as you looked at Ellie wondering why she stopped. Ellie then started to say something.

“Y/N… I… I wanna do something with you now… are you ready for it?” Ellie was nervous to say those words but she just wanted to make you happy. You nodded in agreement and kissed Ellie again. Ellie then smiled. She felt so happy. Ellie was so ready… Ellie then put you on the bed. You two felt really close to each other. Ellie started to kiss you on the lips again and put her hands all over you. It was getting passionate and exciting.

You tried taking Ellie’s shirt off, she then helped you  by taking her own shirt off. You looked at Ellie’s body amazed by how much more attractive she was without clothes on. Ellie couldn’t say anything right now… then started to kiss you again. On your neck and more all over her body. Ellie then went back to kissing your mouth. 

You were starting to feel her core heating up under your dress. Ellie kept on kissing you all over your body. Ellie wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. She was beginning to feel more and more excited. Ellie went back to your mouth and started to kiss you passionately again.  Ellie then kissed your legs and up your thighs. Ellie kept on kissing you, going higher. Ellie felt like she was about to… do the unthinkable.

Ellie was now taking off your dress slowly. You felt shivers and Ellie noticed. She then started taking your dress off quicker. Ellie notices the wet patch on your underwear. Ellie suddenly looked away. She felt embarrassed and didn’t want to embarrass you. You blushed a bit.

Ellie could see you were embarrassed. Ellie started to feel ashamed. Ellie could feel her face get hot. Ellie felt like she needed to explain herself. “Y/N… I-I’m so sorry… I-I… I wasn’t trying to look… I… I just… I guess I got a bit carried away… please don’t think I’m weird… I…”

“No, it’s okay Ellie.” Ellie felt a bit relieved. “Y/N… d-do you forgive me?” Ellie felt like she had to know if you were still okay with her. You were a bit surprised by Ellie’s words. “I’m still hurt Ellie, but I do forgive you.” Ellie was still feeling ashamed but… she was at least relieved that you weren't mad at her anymore. “Y/N… w-we’ll… I… I… I wanna make you happy again…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous again. You kissed Ellie as to calm her down

Ellie wasn’t expecting that. Ellie felt calmer as you kissed her again to help her feel better. Ellie was slowly forgetting about what she did. Ellie felt a bit better after you kissed her again and pulled you closer to her. She was enjoying this with you, she felt so loved again. You put your hand on Ellie’s abbs. Ellie looked down at your hand on her skin. She then put her hands on your face again.

Ellie was feeling so happy. Ellie was kissing you over and over all over her body. She was starting to get more excited. You were loving this. Ellie kept on kissing you as if she couldn’t stop anymore. Ellie was feeling so excited and you were enjoying it too. Ellie was just too happy to stop doing this.

Your dress was pulled up and Ellie could see your underwear. Ellie couldn’t believe what she was doing. “Y/N, I… um…”

Ellie was feeling a bit scared. She pulled herself away from you. Ellie was feeling worried that she was taking things further than you wanted to go.

“What’s wrong? “ You got a bit embarrassed and covered herself with the dress's skirt.

Ellie felt embarrassed as well. “W-oh nothing… s-sorry Y/N… I was just going a bit too fast, I…” Ellie was really nervous. She felt like she went too far for you to handle. Ellie didn’t know what was going to happen now.

“I was liking it...”

Ellie felt a bit surprised. “Y/N… w-wait… you… you did like what I was doing…?”

“Yes…” You blushed.

Ellie was blushing too. Ellie didn’t realize you liked what she was doing to you. “Y/N… can I keep going?” You nodded, eager to kiss Ellie again.

Ellie then smiled and got closer to you. She then started to kiss You again. Ellie’s kissing got more passionate as she kissed you more and more. Ellie felt like she couldn’t get enough of you…

You got on top of Ellie whilst kissing her. Ellie felt shocked as you got on top of her. Ellie couldn’t say anything, she just felt so excited. Ellie was starting to let her hands and her lips do as they pleased. Ellie enjoyed this moment and she couldn’t let it go. You looked into Ellie’s eyes to see if she was okay. Ellie nodded. Ellie felt like she couldn’t let this stop now. The two of you were kissing very passionately. Ellie was ready to take things even further.

Ellie put her hands on your legs and under your dress. Ellie was now thinking about what she was doing… She was trying to see if you were still okay with her but… it did seem like you wanted to continue. Ellie was  feeling like she was taking the lead with this. She continued touching your thighs. Ellie felt so happy … Ellie was really getting into this. She didn’t want to stop yet…

You kept kissing Ellie harder. Ellie was kissing back with a lot more passion than before. Ellie’s lips were all over yours. She was really starting to enjoy this, she was not planning on stopping yet. Ellie touches your underwear. She feels your wetness. You look at Ellie when she touches you. Ellie lays you on the bed and kisses you again. You felt Ellies hands on your thighs again and you were starting to get excited. Ellies smiled when she noticed how wet you were for her.

“Is this all for me?” Ellie asked, starting to feel cocky.  Ellie touches your pussy through your panties, “oh, someones really excited, hum…?”

You looked at Ellie as she touched you, you were really turned on right now, and wanted to do this with Ellie.

You kissed her as she continued to touch you. You started moaning. Ellie was happy to hear you moan for her. She started to kiss down your body and gave your tighs extra attention. You were very sensitive and felt every kiss Ellie left on your skin. You started to feel your core really getting hot as Ellie kissed your things and pushed your dress up. 

You look down at Ellie and Ellie looks up at You. “Are you sure you’re ready baby?” 

“Yes, I want to do this with you Ellie…” You said, Ellie took that yes and started to take off your panties. At this point they were soaked. You couldn't wait to feel Ellie.

Ellie looked at your pussy mesmerized. Ellie couldn't believe she made you this turned on. Ellie wanted to dive right in but remembered you had never done this before and wants it to be special for you. She started kissing up your thighs  and up to your beautiful pussy. She pressed a light kiss on your clit. You slightly jumped at the feeling. 

Ellie started licking your clit slowly to see how you would react. You start moaning in pleasure. She smirked and continued to massage your clit with her tongue. Then she put her hand on your thighs and guided them up to reach your core. Ellie felt your juices on her fingers and started to feel a patch forming on her own boxers. Ellie took her fingers to her mouth and sucked those lovely juices and moaned as she tasted them. You were moaning at Ellie’s skill. You started to feel a knot forming in your  belly. Ellie carefully and slowly inserted one of her fingers inside your tight hole. You moaned louder than before as you felt Ellie enter you. 

“You're so tight baby, damm…” Ellie started pumping her finger in and out slowly, as You started relaxing a bit. “You look so beautiful…. taking me so well…” Ellie smirked to herself proud of what she saw.

“fuck… that feels amazing ells…” You moaned ever more “please dont stop” Ellie starts going faster as she feels your hole is getting used to the intrusion. She is taking real good care of your clit at the same time.

You feel like you can't take much more as the feeling in your core is getting stronger. “Ellie… I'm getting close…” Ellie inserts a second finger inside and you gasp. She looks up to see you enjoying it. She started going faster and hitting your sensitive spongy spot. “Ellie… I think I'm…. I think I'm… going to cum….” Ellie continues at the same rhythm, increasing the speed slowly. “Cum for me baby, let me drink all that cum…”

You close your fists as you are about to cum. You feel the knot in your tummy coming undone. “Ellie, I'm cumming….”

“Yes baby, cum for me… '' Ellie is so excited to see you cum for the first time and feels so proud of herself for being the person that is making you feel this good. 

You start feeling a little overstimulated as your orgasm reaches its peak. “Ells… is too much...Ells too much…” You gently push Ellies head so she knows to stop now. Ellie sees you are getting overstimulated and starts slowing down sucking all of your juices at the same time. Ellie comes up to kiss you and you can taste yourself on Ellie’s tongue. Ellie takes her fingers out slowly and brings them to her mouth and tastes your juices one last time looking you directly in the eyes. 

You breathe heavily as you're coming down from your high, looking at Ellie sucking the fingers that just made you cum…

“Y/N, baby, you were amazing… did you feel good?” Ellie asked and kissed you lovingly. “Ellie I… That was the best thing I've ever fel…,” Your face is all red and she is breathing heavily, still a bit lost in lust. Ellie kisses your forehead and holds you in her arms. 

You never felt this good in your life, you feel like you are dreaming. You both lay back on the bed as Ellie stroked you gently. “ You did so good, baby. I'm so proud of you…”

You feel tired and close your eyes, whilst in Ellie’s embrace. Ellie just keeps holding you as you fall asleep in her arms. “Good night baby, sweet dreams..” You fall fast asleep after the storm of sensations you just felt. “Night Ellie”. Ellie stays with you all night, ending up falling asleep as well. Ellie feels so lucky having you in her arms. She doesn't want to let you go ever again.

In the morning, Ellie woke up and saw you still next to her in bed… Ellie was starting to feel happy that you were still there. “Hey… good morning Y/N…” Ellie had a smile on her face now.

“Morning, ells” You smiled. Ellie was still smiling.  “I just wanted to say thank you for staying with me last night… I just felt so… so happy with you…” Ellie wanted you to know how much she appreciated you. “Y/N… can… can we still do this again sometime…? If not… that’s perfectly…”  Ellie was starting to feel a bit awkward about it now. She didn’t wanna push her luck and you didn’t wanna try to get you to do something she wouldn’t wanna do. Ellie felt comfortable with you now and started to get overwhelmed by her feelings. Tears started forming in her eyes.

“We can talk about it, I wont judge anything.” You tell her, when you see her tears.

“Yes… I… I do wanna talk about it… I just… I don’t know if you wanna hear about it…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous. “Maybe some other time… I’m sorry… I’m just still feeling nervous… I’m glad we had this conversation though… I’m just glad that we still feel comfortable with each other… ”

“It's okay Ellie. You are safe. I won't ever judge you.” You caress her cheek.

Ellie started to feel more relieved now. “Y/N… Thank you so much… I really needed to hear that…” “If I’m being honest I feel like… I feel like I am a… a disappointment to most of the people I’ve met… Ellie didn’t know if you wanted to know the details. Ellie was still feeling a bit nervous about talking about her past.

“Why would you say that?” You look at her still caressing her face.

“My past life was… hard to say the least. I never really had anyone to support me through my tough times. I didn’t have anyone to support me… I was on my own.” Ellie felt like she was beginning to open up to you a bit more.“Do you wanna hear the rest…?” You nodded reassuringly.

“My parents weren’t supportive of me… they told me they didn’t care about me… They even sometimes blamed me for the bad things that happened to them. They… they…” Ellie then got a bit emotional. Ellie didn’t wanna cry in front of You.

“I-I’m sorry… I just… I needed to talk about it… I needed to tell someone about it… it’s okay… you can ignore me if you want…”

“It's okay to cry, Ells, I'm here now.” You stroke her hair. Ellie then started to cry a bit.

“I just… I just wanted supportive parents… I wanted… I wanted to be loved…” Ellie wiped her tears. “Y/N… thank you… thank you so much for listening to all of this, I really needed it…” You hugged Ellie. She gave you a tight hug back. Ellie felt really happy to have someone supporting her now. “Y/N… I don’t know how to thank you now…” Ellie wanted to give you something back to show how much she cared.

You look at Ellies drawings. “Oh, my drawings? I mean… they’re okay, I guess… I mean, it’s not really that much… ” Ellie was trying to be humble. “So… Y/N… you saw my drawings… well… do you… do you wanna see more…? I mean… only if you want to… of course… I mean… that’s only if you actually like them… ”

“I love them Ells, you're really good!” Ellie was surprised to hear this. Ellie felt like you were lying but she couldn’t tell if she really was or not. “Y/N… are… are you actually being serious?… I mean… they’re not that impressive… ” Ellie was getting a bit embarrassed.

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” You said turning back to face her. Ellie then giggled a bit. “That’s so nice of you, Y/N, I… I never imagined that I’d have someone support my art like this, it’s just…” Ellie then started to tear up a little. “All my life people kept telling me that my art was bad but… you… you… actually like it…” Ellie was getting a bit emotional.

“Bad? They must be all blind.” You were a bit confused about how anyone could say that about her art.

“Yeah… I mean… maybe they were blind… maybe they just wanted to make me feel bad… I mean… my parents always told me that…It’s a good thing for me that I’m away from them now…” Ellie started to feel happy about not needing to see her parents again.

“Ellie, you can talk to me, I see you need it. You will feel better after.” You reassure her.

“Yeah, you’re right… you’re right, I do need it… I’m just… I’m just glad you’re here listening to my problems… this… this is what a friend does… I’m so… so happy that you’re this kind.” Ellie was feeling a lot better after saying that. “Y/N… I just… I just really appreciate you listening to me.” You smiled and held Ellies hand. Ellie’s cheeks began to get a red shade to them. Ellie then felt so happy to see your smile. “Y/N… can… can I just give you a hug now?” Ellie then waited to see if Y/N wanted a hug. “Of course, come here.” Ellie moved over to you and gave you a hug.

“Hey Y/N… can I… can I just ask you something…?”

“Yes honey?” You say as you break the hug.

“I… I feel… I feel like… maybe… just, maybe… could… could I maybe… maybe spend the rest of the day with you… I mean… if you want to… I don’t wanna push my luck and I can always leave your room… b… but… just… just let me know if you… if… you want me to stay…”

“I want to be here with you Ellie, there's nowhere i'd rather be.” Ellie got a bit embarrassed but then got a smile on her face. “Well then... if you're okay with it... I guess... I'm spending the day with you... I mean... I'd love to spend all my time with you... I mean... you're just one of the nicest people I've ever met... you're really… really awesome…” Ellie was now full of love for you. “If it makes you feel better I can share my past too.” Ellie then got a curious look on her face. Ellie wasn't sure about asking you but she wanted to know more about her. "You can tell me about your past if you like... You... you don't have to... but... I wanna be here for you... to... to support you... that's what friends do... right?"

“Exactly.”

"I like being your friend, Y/N...I just... I just wanted to ask... um... if... if you wanted to... um... do you wanna... do you... would you like to know more about my past?"

“I'm all ears.” You smile at Ellie. Ellie got a big smile on her face. Ellie felt like you were the best person she could talk to. “I… I had a really bad childhood… my parents… my parents…” Ellie’s voice was starting to shake a bit as she spoke.

“It's okay baby, you can tell me.”

“I… uh… my parents… t… they… they weren’t good people, Y/N…” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous talking about this. “They… they… they abused me… they… they physically abused me… they hit me and… they would tell me how awful I was… they… they… they kept telling me that I meant nothing to them… they… they…”

Ellie was starting to cry a bit now. You hold Ellies hand to help Ellie calm down a bit. She was holding back tears, but she still held onto your hand. Ellie was so happy to have you here for her. Ellie then spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m so… so sorry Y/N… I hope I haven’t just made you feel worse… I… I just… I’ve never really admitted… I’ve never really admitted these things before… “

“It's okay, you're okay now, they can't hurt you anymore.”

Ellie then wiped her eyes. “Y/N… thank you so, so much… I-I just, I… I really needed to tell someone about this… ” “I… I… I just… I just have… I have a lot of emotional wounds from the past… they… they can affect me a lot… and… and I just… I just don’t wanna scare you away… “ Ellie felt like she was being too blunt with you. “I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense right now…”

“You can't scare me away, I'm never leaving your side.”

“If that’s the case then… then I think I… I feel like I can tell you everything now… like I can just… I can feel safe with you… I… I… I trust you… ” Ellie was getting happier and happier. “You… you’re the first person in my life to make me feel loved and supported… I… I just… I just wanna know… know that we’re still gonna be friends… like… after this talk…”

“I'll always be your friend, I'll always be here.” Ellie smiled again. “Thank you so, so much, Y/N… you… you have no idea how much you’ve helped me now…”

You two spent the day talking to each other about your lives. About all the bad stuff and all the good stuff too. Your bond grew bigger by the hour. You lost track of time as you were too invested in each other's words. You felt happy and safe together.

“Y/N… could… I ask you one more favor…?”

“Yes baby?”

“Well, um… may… may I… c-can I stay here for the night… please… I… I… I really don’t wanna go back and sleep alone… ” Ellie was feeling a bit nervous asking you this. “I… I don’t wanna overstay my welcome and I’ll understand if you say no… I just… I wanna stay with you now… “

“We are roommates honey, I won't leave you alone, only if you want to.”

“Hey Y/N? Please, if you need me for anything, even if it’s during the night, please… just… just wake me up. I wanna be here for you … I wanna be as good a friend for you as you are for me… “

“I wont leave your side baby, I'm here.”

“Thank you… I’m gonna sleep well now… I… I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow… “ Ellie then shut her eyes and layed down on the bed.

*it's the next morning*

Ellie was sleeping in the exact same spot she was last night. She had slept like an angel. “He… hey… I’m up, I’m up… “ Ellie was still pretty drowsy though. Ellie sat upright. Ellie spoke and her hair was messed up and she had a tired look on her face. “Huh?… what time is it… is it time to wake up now?… “ Ellie’s voice was quiet as she spoke.

“You look so cute. It's 9:30 Ells.” You smiled.

“You… you think… you think I’m cute?…” Ellie then looked a bit surprised by this.

“I do” You smiled, taking Ellie's hair out of her face and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Ellie was blushing a lot. Ellie hugged you. “You… you… you make me feel so… so happy… I’m so thankful you’re not leaving my side…” Ellie’s blushing still hadn’t calmed down, she had a full on face flush at this point. Ellie didn’t wanna leave your side. You held Ellie and stroked her hair. Ellie smiled and had tears in her eyes. She spoke in a quiet voice. “I-I… I… I never realized how… how much I needed affection in my life… I… I’m just glad I can get all this now… “

“Why did you wanna be roommates with me… why… Why do you want to be so close to me?… ”  Ellie wanted to know these things.

“We got assigned together and i didnt want to piss Maria off, so I did not protest. I'm glad you stayed,” Ellie felt her face turn red again. “… but… you like being roommates with me though, right?”

“Yes honey.”

“Y/N… I… I really wanna kiss you… C-Can I?…” You looked Ellie in the eyes and nodded. She had a big smile on her face. Ellie then got closer to you and kissed your lips “I… I wanted that for so… so long… “Ellie still had a big smile on her face. Your breath got faster as Ellie got closer.

Ellie was feeling her heart beat a lot faster now. Ellie then got even closer to you. You kiss Ellie softly.

Ellie then started to kiss back. The kiss between you lasted for a few seconds. Ellie felt so happy, she then broke the kiss.“Y/N… thank you… I… I love… I like you so much… “I like you too, Ells.” You blush. Ellie then looked at you again. She just smiled and started to kiss Your neck. Ellie  spoke between her kisses.“Y/N… you… you look so beautiful… so… so pretty… “Ellie started to keep kissing Your neck. You shiverd. Ellie felt like you liked it so she kept kissing your neck for a few more seconds.

“Mmm… you… you feel so good… you… you smell good… “Ellie looked into your eyes.“Y/N… can you… can you do something for me… can you…can you kiss me… please?… “ You were nervous because of the previous night but still kissed Ellie. Ellie was blushing a lot. she kissed back. She didn’t wanna stop though. Ellie kept kissing you for several minutes. Ellie had butterflies in her stomach.“if you don’t mind… I… I wanna do more… Y/N… I… I… am just… just so in love with you… I… I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable saying that but… I need to tell you how I feel… “ You blushed more and kissed Ellie again more passionately. Ellie let herself get lost in a love she couldn’t believe she actually felt. Ellie was in a euphoric state right now all because of you and she couldn’t be happier about that.

I hope you liked this. I know I'm not very good at writing. This Was a lot of fun! Let me know what you thought. Comments and reblogs are always welcome! Part 2?

[bucknastysbabe]

My puppy man is trained,,,

Rating: Explicit what’s new

Word Count: 1,544

Tags: 40’s au continued, BIG OLE SUB BUCKY, chubby!bucky, dom!afab!reader, lots of name calling and teasing, Degredation, ye olde butt stuff (m!receiving), begging, man tears, oral (m!receiving), he’s the whiniest of babies in this bad boy

A/N: I told y’all thoughts were incoming about those Bucky pics from CW I found also this gets kinda weird as in The Other Kink bleeds thru at times but hey I write smut for fun so LICK IT UP

Bucky was whining and whining for her attention, eyes shot red and glassy from tears. She turned a page in her book with a manicured hand. His wife was clad in only her undergarments, perfect body on display. The Sargeant eyed her legs, gasping in strung out pleasure.

Her red lips moved. Bucky had to really focus to understand, especially with his hips jerking into the pillow. “Horny puppy,” she laughed. He frowned in distress, a sad noise crawling up a raw throat. Bucky could barely think straight, even fucking his cock against the pillow was hard.

His frantic rocks against the silky thing were disjointed and sporadic— Bucky would stop to beg some more and fail. His balls hurt and the damn thing Buck’s pretty wife had shoved up his ass didn’t help. It grazed against his prostate on the right move, but the needy brunette really just wished it was something he could bounce on.

Bucky swallowed the drool in his mouth at the thought of having something heavy sitting on his sweet spot, crying out in a surprised manner. Her eyes flicked up at that, a questioning look on stern features. She asked, “Did something come up? Dumb puppy have a thought?”

He nodded desperately, lips unable to form anything besides another whine. Bucky’s mind was growing more scrambled by the second. She put down the book carefully, sitting up to peer at her mess of a husband. Oh fucking please, please, Buck thought.

Her victory red lips curled into a smirk as she crawled forward off the chaise lounge— slinking towards Bucky. His wife cooed, “What were you wanting sweet boy?” She watched him grab harder onto the pillow, shoving it firm between his trembling thighs.

The sargeant mewled, “Ah- hngh- I wan’!”

He couldn’t finish the rest of the sentence, too overcome and fuck dumb to talk. She giggled softly, pressing a thumb between his bite-swollen lips. Bucky sucked at the intruding digit eagerly, eyes peering wide up at his wife. She hummed, “Poor pup, can’t even talk, only good to hump and look pretty.” His eyes slid shut quickly, a frustrated moan echoing in the room.

“Let me guess, you want more up your greedy ass,” she said to Bucky’s excitement. He nodded and sucked harder on her thumb to show, yes, he really really really wanted that. She grabbed at the soft flesh on his side, teasing, “Always gotta have more huh sweetheart? Glutton.” Bucky blushed in hot shame, making his dick throb worse.

His wife had a point, he did over-do most things in life. His eyes flicked away as she continued in a low purr, “Never know when enough is enough. More work, more food, more sex.” He frowned deeper. Bucky’s currently very mean wife tutted and said, “C’mon then pup, turn around so I can fuck you.”

He peered up at her in confusion, her thumb sliding out from puffy lips, a thin string of drool connecting the two. “God, you’re clueless,” she patted a full cheek attentively, “On your back.” Bucky blushed in embarrassment. He truly was brain dead right now. The man’s wife always liked him to be exposed. He discarded the pillow slowly, rolling back to lay down.

Bucky was acutely aware of his flushed cock, soft belly, and stretched ass on display. He felt his whole body heat up at her predatory look, a hand planting on his hip with a rough squeeze. Bucky whined through his nose and shut his eyes tight. God- he was a mess but she made it feel so damn good.

“Spread em’ babydoll.”

He did so with a broken pant of her name, eyes still closed. The sargeant’s cheeks were flaming and probably matching her lipstick by now. Her other hand thumbed his nipple before sliding down to his belly. She mused, “Chubby pup.” Bucky trembled when she grabbed a handful of his softened tummy, nails digging in just so.

“F-fuck, god, please n-no,” he begged breathlessly.

She gave another possessive squeeze and let go. Bucky could breathe again, slightly. He’d get so overwhelmed when she’d tease about the extra weight, but he never made an attempt to work it off, because Bucky was apparently masochistic like that. Insanity really.

“You’re so pretty like this,” she commented, squeezing at a thigh, leaning forward to loom over him. Bucky couldn’t catch his breath, sounding like he’d run across the entirety of Brooklyn. She cooed, “Relax sweetheart, shh, I’ve got you, shh.” He laid his head back down and sucked in a breath to steady himself, focusing on her hand rubbing methodical circles on the softer inner thigh, dangerously close.

“You want me to open you now sweet pup? Such a good boy.”

Good boy. He was being good.

Bucky’s eyes pricked with tears, again. He whimpered uselessly, “P-pluh-ease.”

She pressed a kiss to Bucky’s knee, smiling real gentle and sweet at him. He stuttered on a breath, chest heaving when his wife eased the plug out of his ass. The tears ran down his full cheeks at the aching feeling of being empty, the sargeant blubbering about the horrid sensation. “I know, just a second baby,” she promised. Two of her fingers slid into the heat of his ass, moaning under her breath.

Bucky’s cock twitched at the sensation, mouth falling open on a weary cry. She scissored him for a bit before sliding in her ring finger with a soft coo, “So wet for me baby, lookit’ you.” He whined her name, spreading his legs wider and dragging fingertips into the wood floor. Bucky’s absent mind tittered about him making claw marks.

He definitely made scratches with his metal hand at the feeling of his wife’s hot mouth around his cock. Bucky arched into her touch, shouting when she found his swollen prostate. Her fingers rubbed slow circles into the sensitive gland while the woman’s tongue assaulted his tip. The brunette begged in a pitch that hurt his throat, “Ohh, baby, ohmygod, oh it feels s’good s’good please pl-please!”

He had no clue what he was begging for. Only that this felt like heaven and she was the angel. His wife bobbed her head along, fingers still making the maddening circles. Her free hand groped at Bucky’s thigh before cupping his sac and rolling. He arched painfully and shook, noises getting higher and higher, louder and louder. She pulled off his dick, Bucky choking on a breath.

She laughed, “Sound so damn cute. Put you behind a curtain and those SSR boys would think I was the one getting fucked.” Bucky brokenly whined again, sweet shame licking up his spine. Her hand lifted from his sac to jerk him off firmly, rambling in a raspy tone, “Yeah? You like that pup? Big strong Barnes is a whiny little slut when he gets something up his ass huh?”

His baby curled her fingers up harder with a grin. Bucky wailed, shaking his head to deny her words. Even if he was proving the point to be correct. She quickened her fist around his achy cock, purring, “Why are you lying baby? You can’t go more than two days without something in there.” Bucky sobbed softly, coming extremely close to that breaking point.

“Slut. That’s what you are,” she breathed over his sobbing lips, “You’re gonna cum from me telling you that.” Bucky rode her fingers in earnest, more of a jerky movement as he couldn’t figure out the hand and fingers thing. He moaned deep in his chest, “M’a slut, oh god, yes!” She pecked his wet lips and slid her thumb across his weeping slit.

“There we go. My greedy, soft, pretty slut. Wanna see you let go now sweetheart.”

The missus didn’t have to tell him twice, Bucky wailing again and painting his tummy and her hand with his spend. His thighs trembled and fingers scraped feverishly. The brunette couldn’t stop crying, his ass squeezing her fingers like a vice. She kept up the movement of her digits, hand sliding slick over his dick overwhelmingly.

“Fuck, Bucky, so precious,” she gasped in awe.

He finally sobbed from overstimulation, “S’too much s‘ much I’ve been good- hngh! N-no more!”

Her hands cleared from Bucky’s throughly used body, relocating to his belly and thigh. She whispered, “Such a good boy, came on my fingers like you were made for it.” Bucky could only respond with a breathless warble of nonsense, blue eyes lidded with exhaustion. He couldn’t even manage to bitch about his wife’s slim hand rubbing his pudgy belly. Bucky blinked away more tears, nuzzling her neck, panting.

“Do you want some water? Maybe I can draw a bath after huh baby?,” she asked slowly. Bucky held onto the words and finally nodded, his scrambled brain was still offline. His wife smiled and let him pull her flush on top of him, chiding him for getting her dirty. She said that with no heat, instead laying featherlight kisses and praises in Bucky’s ear.

She sighed, “I love you, my sweet Buck.”

Bucky clenched her closer and tapped back ‘I love you’ in Morse code, earning a delighted laugh from the woman. The Sargeant could truly say, he has it good, for once.

[ghostchems]

Can you write an angst that leads to smut abt terzo just getting dragged off stage and he feels worthless so reader (gn plz) gives him a little.. Uhh...ego boost? (Bj)

so sorry for taking SO long. mdni! 18+! about 1.4K words. some angst some sads some sexy

Terzo feels like he can’t breathe, still in the arms of the security team as he reaches off stage. The last thing he saw was his father, waiting in the wings, watching his son get dragged off stage with a stern look. His head is pounding and he can hardly think as he’s forced backstage and toward his dressing room.

Everything had gone according to plan. Terzo had given his all for this performance, his final performance of the tour and was looking forward to taking some time off from the demanding schedule. Their attendance has been up, the word of the Morningstar has spread and so has the influence of the clergy — and it is because of him whether they see it or not. It’s true that he butt heads with leadership, with his father, but their success was also his success. Were they really punishing him for this?

It’s true that Terzo has become disillusioned by the clergy leadership and that members close to him started to catch on. Terzo didn’t let that get in the way of putting on a show of the highest standards. He could hardly think. His head is pounding, his eyes wincing with each sharp jab of pain shooting through his forehead.

The security team plops him in the dressing room and leaves to let you take care of him. You weren’t aware of the plans, just that you need to be here for him and keep him in the room while the crew breaks down the stage. You stay quiet and watch him rage, shocked by how angry he is. What did they do to him? Terzo smashes a few glasses of water and shoves the alcohol off of the stocked bar, the bottles shattering on the ground. You’ve never seen him this out of control before and you’ve been his comfort after each show this particular tour. Your job ranges from getting him the snacks he needs to helping him come down from the high of performing.

You know him inside and out and you have never been afraid of him.

Until now.

“How dare he!?” Terzo’s voice rips through the dressing room, his anger and desperation making your own chest hurt. He furiously smooths out his jacket, having been crinkled by the security guards who had him in their grasp, then he runs his fingers through his hair. Everything must be perfectly in place or else the feeling of being out of control will have won. If anything, he can still control how he looks. Terzo’s eyes flit around the room before they settle on you. After a normal show he would be delighted to see you and you him, singing his praises on how well he did while you helped him with his wardrobe.

“You! Did you know?!” He points to you and nearly runs at you, the rage in his eyes making you flinch as he gets closer. You take a step back but he’s too quick, his hand grabbing you by the throat and squeezing before you’re even able to respond. A growl rumbles through his chest, your hands finding his arms to fight back, to try to wrench his hand from around your neck. Terzo’s white eye is shining, wisps of power seeping from it as you struggle against him, wheezing pleas pushing from your throat. He blinks, his white eye returning to normal as he loosens his grasp on your throat. Air fills your lungs, gasping and breathing heavily while you stumble away from him.

“M-mi dispiace.” His voice is hoarse, tinged with a whine. Terzo runs his hands over his face then his arms hang numbly by his sides. “How could he do this to me?” He sounds so desperate, so broken. You can’t stay away from him, your own arms wrapping around him to pull him into a hug. Terzo melts against you, burying his face in your shoulder as he squeezes you in his embrace. You’ve been through a lot together. You want to tell him that things will work out but you don’t want to give him false hope. All you can do is hold him and help him with what you can.

Terzo’s grip on you grows tighter and tighter as his mind races. Is this the end of his reign? Will the Papa position be vacated? What will he even do with himself now? His fingers start to dig into your back, a growl rumbling up from his throat as you struggle to breathe in his grasp. His hand knots in your hair and he rests his other on your shoulder as he starts to force you down to your knees. You try to pull away from him but he doesn’t let you so you relent, slowly dropping to your knees in front of him. He groans just from the sigh of you, his hand still firm in your hair as his other one fumbles with his zipper.

“Papa needs you, tesoro.” Terzo hums, freeing himself from his pants and tugs you toward him. Your lips meet his tip, giving it a soft kiss before you part them and swipe your tongue along the underside. He gives a hoarse grunt, fingers digging into your scalp as he pulls your hair to force you further down his cock. You whimper and do as instructed, sinking slowly down him, relaxing your jaw to take as much of him in your mouth as possible. You exhale through your nose and tilt your head up to look at him through thick lashes.

Terzo chokes out a moan, his cock twitching in your mouth. You start to bob your head along his length, using your tongue to swipe along his slit, a technique you know he enjoys. He twists his fingers in your hair and jerks his hips, his cock thrusting to hit the back of your throat. You gag and your throat convulses around him, tears stinging your eyes. Your eyes flit up to his and they are nearly black with arousal, his teeth gritted and a growl rumbling up his chest. Terzo’s hips snap roughly, his cock gliding down your throat with each violent thrust. You start to drool and you move your hands to grip his thighs, trying to hold on as he fucks your face.

His breath starts to grow more shallow, cut off by moans and grunts, his fingers scratching into your scalp. Your cheeks are stained with tears now, gagging around his thick cock with every downstroke, drool pooling from the corners of your mouth. You wonder if this makes him feel powerful, if this is helping the situation at all but your mind drifts to the assault on your throat.

“That’s a good -ah- puttanella, pleasing your Papa with that p-pretty mouth of y-yours.” He groans as his hips stutter, sucking in a sharp gasp. Terzo manages a few more thrusts before he gives a deep moan, his eyes squeezing shut as he empties himself into your mouth.

You gasp for air as you pull your lips off of him, your bleary eyes darting up to his face. Terzo catches his breath, letting go of your hair to tuck himself back into his pants. It’s evident by his expression that his mind is still racing. You sit back on your knees and open your mouth to ask if he’s okay but you’re cut off by the door swinging open. Sister Imperator enters, her hands clasped behind her back. You wipe your lips off with the back of your hand and quickly climb to your feet, your face flushing with embarrassment. Terzo spins on his heel, his face twisting in a rage once he sets his sights on her.

“Che cazzo! Where is he?” He growls, annoyance dripping from each word.

“You may leave us now, sibling.” Imperator peers around him and gives you a tight lipped smile nodding toward the exit. You suck in a sharp breath, starting to walk past the two but you can’t help but look back at Terzo. The daggers in his eyes soften and you feel a pull to stay with him, to be there for him — but you’ve been relieved by Sister and there’s no one in the clergy you fear more than her.

You offer him a weak smile and leave the dressing room.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Twilight Confessions (Fluff)

Dark Michelangelo x reader

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something for this guys for quite some time now, so here ya go🖤🧡

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Warnings: Spelling🖤🧡

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The hum of the futuristic city echoed through your best friend, Cody Jones' luxury penthouse, its sprawling skyline illuminated by the vibrant glow of neon lights, casting vibrant colors and shadows across your face. As you stood on the balcony, gazing out at the mesmerizing view, memories flooded your mind, a fond smile spreading across your face, along with a small ping of sadness.

It had been a year. A whole year since the turtles had left, somewhat accidental, and gone back to their own time. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss them, because you did. You very much missed them. They had been fun to have around, bringing you and Cody much needed joy in your daily life. Therefore their departure was bittersweet, making both of you slightly sad, yet fully aware of the fact that their own time needed them. Without them in their own time, you and Cody’s life would never be what it was in 2107.

Although it had been a whole year without the turtles, you would probably have to specify that. It had been a whole year without the original turtles. The original turtles from the past. The turtles Cody’s great-grandparents had been friends with. But it had not been a year without turtles at all.

After the turtles left, Cody had his final showdown with his uncle, Darius Don. Using his newly learned ninja skills, Cody managed to take his uncle down, handing him over to the peacekeepers for several crimes that would take too long to mention. This left Cody with more than a few things from his uncle. Actually four. Four kanabo turtle clones to be specific.

It wasn’t easy, but over time the kanabo clones started to fit into society. At least enough for you, Cody and president Bishop to be pleased. It was more than a little fun to watch the dark turtles get used to their new surroundings. A luxury penthouse, and enough food to last them for the rest of their lives. It was even more fun to watch Cody train them in everything the original turtles had taught him, and see how naturally it came to the dark turtles. It was like watching a puzzle finally coming together. Almost heartwarming.

Over time you really came to care for these kanabo clones, in the same way you had cared for the original four turtles. Even though it wasn’t exactly like having the original turtles around, it was comforting in their own way. They were more noisy, took up more space and were messier. Yet they were quicker to admit any of their wrong doings, cleaning as soon as you and Cody told them to do so. It was nice to have them around.

In turn, the dark turtles found you and Cody’s presence just as comforting. They looked to the two of you for the form of guidance, they never got from either Darius Don or Sh’Okanabo. Dark Raph accidentally called you mom at one point at  the dinner table, causing extreme embarrassment for his brothers. Especially Mikey. The poor guy was so embarrassed that he didn’t dare to look in your direction. That was the first time you saw the tall yellow turtle without his signature manic smile.

You smiled at the thought of the often dancing turtle, as the wind picked up and blew a few hairs out of your face. He had changed a lot since the day you met him and the other dark turtles. You remembered it clearly. Although back then, you never thought you would think back on that time fondly. You had gone with Cody to find the place the dark turtles had kept the original turtles captive, by the orders of Darius Don. Back then you had felt nothing but anger and slight sadness at the sight of the dark Mikey and his brothers. And look at you now. Now you saw them as part of your fun little family, and couldn’t imagine a day without any of them. Especially Mikey. How boring your days would get if you didn’t have him around.

Unbeknownst to you, Dark Mikey lingered in the shadows inside the penthouse, his golden eyes fixated on your silhouette on the balcony, as the light of the moon lit up all of your features, making them shine brighter than the city before you. He felt his toes wiggle in an unwilling dance as he felt his stomach tingle. Mikey just couldn’t help it. The enigmatic turtle had developed an inexplicable attraction to you, drawn to the way you carried the weight of the past with a gentle grace. Even after everything he and his brothers had done to you and your friends, you still gave them another chance. You had given him a chance. You were patient with him, caring for him throughout the past year. You made him feel happy. You made him feel special. And tonight, Mikey had finally decided to tell you how you made him feel.

Silently emerging from behind the glass sliding door, Dark Mikey approached, his heart pounding and his hands sweating, his fist clenching and unclenching repeatedly. You turned at the sound of the door, a warm smile gracing your lips at the sight of the yellow turtle.

"Hey, Mikey", you greeted, your voice a soft melody in the evening air. A sharp contrast to the night sounds of New York City.

"Hey", he responded, his usual swagger momentarily replaced by a nervous demeanor. He went to the edge of the balcony, taking in the city before him. The sight still surprised him whenever he looked at it. “Enjoying the view?”, he asked, unsure of what else to say.

You let out a small chuckle that made Mikey’s heart skip a beat. “Of course I am”; you smiled. “Are you?”

“Uhm, yes”, Mikey said, tapping his fingers on the edge. “Always pretty out here”. He looked away from you, trying to seem as casual as possible. You hummed, before turning your own gaze towards the skyline. Mikey seized this moment to look at you, taking in your face as you peacefully watched the city lifes before you. Mikey bit his bottom lip, before finally trusting himself enough to speak. "Uhm… (Y/N)... Can we talk?"

Curiosity danced in your eyes as you nodded, inviting him to continue. Mikey scratched the back of his head, a habit that betrayed his unease. The city lights reflected in your eyes, making his throat curl up before any words could make their way out of him. He stammered nervously, playing with his fingers, feeling the stress build. He wanted to tell you. He had to tell you. But he did not know how. Mikey did not know what words to use.

Before you could ask him if he was okay, Dark Mikey, driven by an impulsive force that had led him most of his life, closed the distance and pressed his lips against yours in a gentle kiss. But just as fast as your lips had connected, he pulled back, his face red as he once again started playing with his fingers.

"I... I just thought you should know," he mumbled, his gaze dropping to the ground as he spoke.

Time seemed to stretch as you processed the unexpected turn of events. Mikey’s gaze alternated between uncertainty and hope, as he moved his weight from one foot to another, getting more and more nervous as he waited for you to speak, watching for any signs of rejection on your face.

A small smile played on your lips as you processed the whirlwind of emotions. You reached out, lifting Mikey's chin to meet your eyes.

"I appreciate your honesty, Mikey", you said, your voice soft and understanding. "And, you know, I feel the same way".

The tension in Dark Mikey's shoulders eased slightly, a flicker of relief in his eyes. Together, you leaned against the balcony railing, the city below a backdrop to the complex emotions swirling between you.

"I never expected to find someone like you, nor did I ever expect to find myself attracted to you after all that has happened between us", you admitted, breaking the silence. "But I'm glad I did. You are an amazing guy, Mikey".

Dark Mikey nodded, his usual cool demeanor returning. His big smile appeared on his face once again, his tongue having a hard time staying in his mouth. "Yeah, well, you're not so bad yourself, (Y/N)".

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Dork”, was all you said, before pulling him down for another kiss, this one longer than the other, both of you humming in delight as you wrapped your arms around each other-

As the night unfolded, you found yourselves sharing stories of the past, laughter punctuating the air. The shadows that once cloaked Dark Mikey seemed to dissipate, revealing a vulnerability that made him all the more real. The city beneath you buzzed with life, a testament to the ever-changing nature of time. And in that moment, on the balcony of Cody Jones' penthouse, you and Dark Mikey stood at the crossroads of past and future, uncertain but willing to explore the possibilities that lay ahead.

[roseapov]

Under a spell

Vampire Lilia x GN!Human Lover

Tw: Blood, deaths and killing, possessive behaviour, obsessive themes, reader under the effect of a spell, memory manipulation, dub-con/non-con blood drinking

Povtober 2023, Day 1 [Masterlist]

The sun went down a long while ago and your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. You started to get really worried about him, as you both agreed to meet at your house right after the sunset.

Lately the rumors started spreading around that the vampire was seen feasting in your village. You of course knew about it all too well, after all your lover was this scary vampire protector of your village, who worked tirelessly for everyone's sake.

You were aware of how much harm good he brought to the people here, as he was the one to treat you, like you hung up the stars at the sky.

His gentleness, his touches, playful teasing, meetings under death of the night and his mesmerizing eyes. The way he looks at you was enough for you to fall head over heels for him.

Hah, maybe he used some kind of spell on you?

Your reading time was quickly interrupted by the sound of the knocks at your door. You quickly put the book away and skipped a bit towards the door, hopeful to see the exact person you've been waiting for.

Your eyes unknowingly turn magenta for a second.

'Lilia!' You said and hung yourself on his neck and started laughing as he spun you around joining into your laugh.

'I missed you so much' he quietly said as he pulled you closer by the waist and stared at you with those eyes that had you melting down instantly, which never had happened to you before, before meeting him at least.

By the corner of your eyes you saw a blood in his lips inner corner, so you took your thumb and brushed it off.

You looked at your now blood stained thumb and as perceptive as he were, he instantly took your stained thumb between his lips licking the blood off, so you're not gonna ponder on his previous meal honorable fight.

This just as planned averted your attention from the blood and made you a flustered mess, which he greatly enjoyed.

He took you into his arms and walked into your house 'I'm sorry Dearest, some unexpected things happened along the way but I'm finally here', he said while nuzzling his face into your neck, inhaling your scent.

'I missed you' He said again, slitted eyes looking straight into your own misty ones, before they started to wander throughout your body.

His eyes stopped at your neck, where you wore the mark he had inflicted on you, smirking at the sight. You were marked by him, so you had nowhere to run - he could find you at the other side of the world for all he cared, in which he did care. A lot. Too much in fact, if all the bloody dead bodies were any indication of it.

But it can't be helped, they dared to make his lover feel sad, insecure, unsafe - name it and you have it, a dead body. Another one to the collection. After all he is very protective of the one he possess.

He doesn't see the problem. If they keep their mouths shut they wouldn't be dead now, would they? It's their own fault for not knowing when to shut their mouth.

The fact that he put so much effort for a mere human made his stomach curl with sickness, and yet your blood was so rewarding, it could make him drool at the mere thought of it.

He picked you up, bridal style and took you to your bedroom wasting no time, and closing the doors behind with his foot. After gently placing your back onto the bed he immediately laid on top of you, snuggling his face closer into your neck, he needed it now.

From the position he was in, he looked you straight into the eyes, and you could only nod in response not sure about what you agreed to when your mind started to spin.

After your 'consent' he slowly picked out an appropriate spot on your neck, the one where the veins were showing off the most, and sunk his fangs into it. While he was feeding off on you, you started to feel even worse.

When you were at the brink of closing your eyes, magenta light appearing before your vision again as you tried to fight your sleepiness but greatly failed. After all not many can resist such a powerful spell.

You woke up in the morning to the sun strides falling onto your skin, tickling it. As you tried to recollect your memories from last night, you were pleased to remember that you and your completely human lover read books together till you dozed off in his arms.

He must've taken you here after you fell asleep, he's so considerate.

I hope, that you enjoyed this, and are pretty satisfied with what I had wrote here. I also hope for feedback on this work as well as on my others works, please feel free to criticize me and tell me what can be changed to improve the quality of my works and the comfort of your reading.

I also apologize for any grammar and language mistakes that could've happened in this post. Thank you all so much for all your support and see you soon!💕

~roseapov

[archangel-seraphiel]

Love of my life

Crowley X Nephalem!Reader (f) X Aziraphale

Warnings: Angst, sadness, comfort, leading to fluff and maybe light smut in the next parts

Part 1

English isn't my first language, please pardon me. This is my first story, too!

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The stars shimmered on the velvet night sky as you sat on the balcony of your apartment, all alone. The feathers of your softly glittering wings gently swayed in the fresh breeze, silence put its heavy blanket around you.

You held onto your cup of hot chocolate, gazing at the sky. A sigh escaped your lips. You felt alone.

You never really had a family; you were a mistake, something that shouldn't have been born in the first place. Nephalem like you were rare, for the reason that they usually got rid of as soon and fast as possible. But at the point, they weren't aware of what you were.

Nephalem are Angel-Demon-offsprings with immense powers. You couldn't care less though. You never wanted to side with either one of them, and just wanted peace. Which is why you led a normal life, among humans. Only in solitude and night you would spread your wings in comfort.

After a while, you fell asleep on your cozy seat, drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

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You walked through London, early in the morning. The park wasn't so crowded yet, you enjoyed that. You sat down on a bench, taking out a book from your bag to read.

You forgot about time, and probably sat there for hours. You didn't even notice the lots of people that went past you, alone, with friends or with their dogs.

"Would you mind if I sit here?" A voice said. It wasn't the voice that disrupted you, but rather the aura the Person was surrounded by. Definitely not human. You looked up from your book to see a man dressed in a light suit and a friendly smile. "Of course, take a seat" you said and shifted a little to the side to provide more space. "Thank you, mylady" he said, and sat down. "I see you have quite a good taste in books." You glanced over to the man. You weren't really set up for a conversation, you were quite shy around strangers. "Oh, I kind of read anything I get my hands on." A simple answer from your side. You felt his aura so strong at this point, you knew what he was.

An angel. But what does he want from you? Did they find you? Does heaven want to cage you in now? You started to get nervous, your head exploding with questions. The man seemed to notice. "Did I say something wrong?" He asked concerned as you quickly got up and left, without even saying goodbye. He got up too but didn't follow. "Wait, miss, your book!" He said, reaching a hand out after you. But you were off into the nowhere already.

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-Aziraphale's POV-

"Crowley, she was most definitely a rarity. Believe it or not, I'm sure she is more than just an angel" Aziraphale said to his friend, who sat opposite to him in a cafe. He was so struck by meeting you this morning, he had to tell Crowley right away about it. "And? Even if, why would we care. There's lots of weird ethereal beings out and about." The demon said, taking a sip of his espresso. "No, not like that. She beamed of angelic grace but something was off. She seemed scared of me. I know that she must have felt my angelic presence." Aziraphale was concerned. He was sad that he might have scared you away.

He saw you in the park and immediately caught interest in you. Your whole being drew him in like a beautiful piece of art. "Aziraphale. Stop overthinking about it. It's just a girl you thought was cute, that's all." Crowley sighed. "There is no such thing as angel-mix-whatever-thingies. They get eliminated as soon as birth happened, if not before already." Crowley must be right, Azira thought. They changed conversations, but Azira just couldn't get you out of his mind. "I need to give that girl her book back."

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-Your POV-

After the Meeting with the angel, which was your first in thousands of years, your mind went crazy. You fled to your apartment, closed off everything and hid in your bed. You were scared. Scared as you've never been. Trembling and heavily breathing. You always tried to surpress your aura as good as possible. Was it not hidden well enough this time? Has it really come to an end for you now?

On the other side, he didn't seem like he wanted to harm you. He would've acted right away if he was to take you in for heaven. You remember his eyes, and his beautiful aura. You lost yourself in the memory of his eyes for a moment before you shook your head. Are you going crazy now? A stranger angel you see for the first time, and you already fall for their eyes? You let yourself fall back, laying straight on your back.

You probably overreacted, you thought, as you warmed another cup of cocoa later. It was your save haven after stressy days. With the cup in your hand you went to your window. It was rainy tonight. Typical weather. No stars to be seen, just clouds. A sky as clouded as your mind.

You sat down on the soft carpet, and with a light fluffy sound your wings spread across the room. Unlike most others, you had 6 Wings instead of two. A little bit like the Seraphim. 2 on your head, 2 on your back and 2 on your lower back. They were slightly transparent, of silky white colour. The tips of the wings faded into darkness, with glittering spots like the most beautiful stars one could imagine. But except you, noone has ever seen them.

You wrapped your wings around you, covering your eyes and body. You always liked to imagine it as a hug that you've never gotten. And with that hug, your day had ended. But this time, you wouldn't sleep dreamless, but rather with the image of a certain angel in your head.

..

You decided to get your mind off the happenings of yesterday and took a stroll through the city. You were a mousy, yet pretty lady. You didn't want to attract too much attention.

You came across a certain bookshop you always felt drawn to, but never dared going in. It seemed like a shop with not too many customers, so whoever owned it would surely notice you.

But today you took all your confidence and went in. With a little ring above your head you entered and got greeted by a friendly "Hello! Have a look around, I'll be with you right away!" You froze.

The voice was all too familiar.

The voice was now accompanied by a figure coming from behind the shelves, and your guess was right.

"Oh, it's you again!" The man beamed, coming closer. "Please don't leave right away, I didn't want to scare you. You forgot your book, too!"

You felt overrun, but were too struck to leave now. "oh uh... thank you.. I'm sorry for yesterday I... I didn't mean to run away like that" you stammered, looking to the ground. He stepped closer. "My name is Aziraphale. Would you mind sharing your name with me?" "(Y/n)." You said, looking him straight in the eyes. "You're a principality, yes? Guardian of the eastern gate?" The words spilled out of your mouth. Did you really just ask that? Aziraphale blinked surprised. "Well yes, I certainly am. But how do you know that? Are you an angel too?" He knew you were, stupid question. "Uh, kinda.." you scratched your head. "I don't like talking about it. It's a rough topic." And with that the door of the bookshop flew open, a red headed man bursting in. "Angel, there's a demon in your bookshop I sense it!" He growled, furrowed his brows and stared right at you. And this was the moment you wanted to snap your fingers and sink into the ground. "But Crowley, she's an angel!" Aziraphale protested. Crowley came closer, surely not trusting you. "What in hell's name are you, girl?" You sighed, sadly. Just as you thought, you met a nice ethereal being like you, it got destroyed again. "A Nephalem."

Silence.

"Who were your parents?" He straightened up, glaring at you. "Crowley that is none of your business!" Aziraphale said, standing protectively in front of you. You smiled a little at that, but stepped forward to face the demon. "My mother was Jophiel. My father, I don't know. I am no harm to anyone, I just want peace. I'm sorry if I bothered." You explained, bowing your head a little. You knew, compared to them you're just a little youngling and had to show some respect. You were merely about 2000 years old.

Silence laid heavily on the bookshop. Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other. Aziraphale went up to you and took your hands. "We aren't bothered by you. After this whole Armageddon thing we're just.. cautious. But I felt right away you are no harm."

Crowley came closer to you now too, eyed you up and down. "Sorry mylady. I didn't mean to be rude, just making sure you ain't here to turn us into mincemeat."

You smiled lightly. This could be the beginning of a great friendship.

[thebottomfromhell]

We know the demons lost and in the context of courtship headcanon, what happened to their "marriage"? Like, who died first? The Upper Moons or their husbands? What are their last thoughts, especially for those left behind? Did that increase their hatred for hashiras/hunters in general? Were they just sad?! I hope you are well and don't overwhelm yourself, mainly because I saw that you updated a lot in the last few days, but every work of yours is a pleasure to read!

To be honest, I didn't want to add those details because depending on the reader's character it can change a lot. Like, a clumsy and reckless one could die because they lost track of time and got trapped under a shadow below the sun the same way a very capable one could die just because they had the bad luck of finding a Hashira when they were just chilling out.

I try to make PoV aproachable and and relatable, obviously keeping some traits that would benefit the relationship. Besides that, I like to let the reader project their idea.

Still, for it to be easy I can make a pointing of reader dying in or by canon events and what was more likely to happen. Demon male reader, of course. These ones stick to canon way too much, so you might end up disappointed.

Thank you pretty much, btw. I'm glad you enjoy what I write.

Warnings: Manga spoilers, Cannibalism, Character Death, Mentioned brutality, Reader's death, Angst.

Gyutaro:

You died before Gyutaro.

You were found by Uzui Tengen in the Enternaiment District Arc and beheaded at sight before you could react, just like Daki. Unlike her, you could not survive decapitation.

Gyutaro wasn't there, he was still inside Daki and isn't really aware of what it's happening at that state, so unless Daki calls him, he doesn't go out.

Uzui implied your death in the same statement he comfirmed he was great to Gyutaro after his speech of envy. Something in the line of "And no matter how many of you are, I will finish to kill all the demons here by daylight. As the most flamboyant Hashira, I will end my duty."

Gyutaro instantly knew, and it was the Ume situation all over again, so he went on rampage.

Uzui did die in this one, since Gyutaro started to tear him up even when he was down, even began eating him alive.

Watching this, Hinatsuru tried to help but also died.

Obanai decapitated Gyutaro from behind, comming up last second without the demon noticing as he was spreading Uzui's guts on the floor. Both Inosuke and Zenitsu still managed to defeat Daki.

Gyutaro started to curse everyone while dying, his last thought still being remembering his sister's name as he called her.

In between hell and heaven he hoped to find you in hell. He asked Ume before going with her in his back. "Do you think that Y/N will be there? Or thet he will still like me after I failed? Just a useless ugly freak?"

Ume comforts him instead of cry this time, projecting herself into the answer "Of course! Y/N is your husband and loves you! He will be mad if you ever think otherwise! I promise you he doesn't blame you for not being there! Nobody would!"

Gyokko:

You died before Gyokko.

Because he wanted to do art and would let his summounings do all the hard labor, he decided to bring you with him, to have a good time together between husbands in the Swordsmith Village Arc.

You got separated when you went to get more materials for his art, Kanroji Mitsuri found you first and decapitated you.

Because she and Gyokko never met, he didn't knew you died, so he even started conplaining of what was taking you so long when facing Muichiro.

Gyokko last thought about you were "You better be smart and scape before sunrise. At least you will remember me as the artist I am."

Hantengu Clones:

You died after the Clones.

Hantengu, Sekido and Aizetsu didn't want you there, and even if Urogi and Karaku did, the others convinced them that it was too dangerous since the village could be protected by a Hashira. There you were not taken to the Swordsman Village Arc.

When they began losing, your respective husband started to think desesperated that he wanted to see you again so badly. That is when Sekido forms Zohakuten.

Because they were being Zohakuten they didn't get to have any last thoughts about you.

Also, Zohakuten doesn't like you, no matter who you're husbands with. He is very protective towards the rest of Hantengu and you are glad he is barely formed because that kid is literally the personification of hatred. While he accepted that you are married, no matter what you do, he just doesn't like you.

You neither died with Muzan's death or got reckless with the slayers since you got used to having an Uppermoon protecting you.

Nakime:

You died after Nakime.

She kept you safe inside the castle, one of her main priorities was to make sure to keep you safe and for the Hashira to not find you in the Infinity Castle Arc.

While you found several slayers you had the territory you knew how it worked to your favor and used it to kill some and scape if things got hard.

Once she died the story got different, you knew she died the second the fortress no longer protected you.

Nakime last thoughts about you were "I'm sorry. And thank you. I wish I could tell him that."

You die at the hand of the slayers inside the castle, probaly by Murata's squad or Murata himself.

Akaza:

You died with Akaza.

He got scared for your safety, so he didn't take you to the Infinity Castle Arc. He was more worried for you than you were worried for him, which was funny and heartbreaking.

When Akaza discovers the origin of his constant fear of losing you, the second he gets back his memories, he was about to kill himself to be back with his beloved ones and repent.

Then Akaza remembers you are waiting for him. "Y/N! I can't go yet, Koyuki! I'm sorry, but my husbad-" she interrupt comforting him, telling him she is happy he found some happiness after everything. Koyuki also tells him she wants to meet you and that she'll wait for both of you.

He manages to scape the castle, the slayers and Muzan's control. He is threatened by your death, but fortunately Akaza finds you first.

You are scared, you feel him angry at both of you. "Akaza, what are you doing?!"

He doesn't get to explain anything, the second he puts his hands over you thinking "I love you so much, please don't die just yet!" both of you explode.

As a reward for his hard work, Kibutsuji Muzan kills you and Akaza at the same time.

Douma:

You died after Douma.

You had to cover his absence during the Infinity Castle Arc, so you stayed at his place while he was fighting even if he wanted you to go with him. You were confident he would come back just fine.

Douma still had attraction toward the canonical female characters, so he does confess his "love" towards Shinobu.

She still rejects him, and so he thinks about you, about the fact that you are waiting for him to go back.

"Well, what a pity. He will have to wait forever like an idiot! Shinobu-chan, you just made my consort an idiot!" He would say, but in the back of his mind he would think "I wish Y/N dies soon so we can be together."

You do die not lo long after, you desintegrate with Muzan's death and find Douma's head. "Oh, hi Y/N!"

Kokushibou:

You died after Kokushibou.

He wanted you out of the way, he didn't think you would be usefull in battle, so he left you back (oh,but he had no problems taking Kaigaku to the Infinity Castle Arc >:v)

This guy. Abandoned his wife. To chase. After. His. Brother.

This guy died out of shame and nothing about you convinced him to come back.

At least he had thoughts of you before leaving for good by his own will "Y/N.... you were good for me. Always so good. You deserve something better. Thank you for taking care of me."

You were still waiting for him when yo died, desintegrating after Muzan's death.

[wonderland-x-showtime]

I'm sorry if I submitted a request alr or if reqs r closed - I'm forgetful with things like this - but could I ask for some rui x reader comfort where reader is someone who gets along with basically everyone at school well and Rui feels like he isn't deserving of them as a partner because he's not as emotionally open or "normal" as them? So, reader asks him about not spending as much time next to them at school as he typically does which causes him to just break a little and cry.

Thanks in advance, you obv dont have to do this tho!

RUI WITH A MORE POPULAR READER

THIS IS SOOO BITTERSWEET poor rui frfr…,,, sorry this took so long! like i said finals is literally this week and I’m more busier than usual! and don’t worry, you haven’t submitted a request until now! also, i didn’t really understand what it meant by "reader asks him about not spending as much time next to them as he typically does”, so i went with my best guess and though that maybe you wanted RUI to just.. slowly avoid reader subconsciously as he also subconsciously held himself back during the Halloween event in wxs when TSUKASA gets injured by one of his inventions? sorry if this is not the case, please let me know and i will rewrite it. hope you enjoy the show!

KAMISHIRO RUI (神代類)

when you first started dating, RUI was honestly surprised. of course he didn’t doubt your love as just a simple prank on him, but he did overthink a lot bit since he’s well aware of both your social status’

you’re incredibly popular and loved by many people in school while he’s.. nobody. he’s a weirdo, as others would put.

you knew that and you still loved him despite the rumors spreading around that he might plan on blowing up the entire school, why? he genuinely believes he’s ruined your social reputation just by talking to him. despite all the rumors and weirdness he brought, you genuinely loved him.. right?

he doesn’t open up to you about his concerns as he was afraid you would realize that he’s right and leave him. instead he treats you in the best-RUI way possible.. although he’s a bit dumb when it comes to having a romantic relationship.

slowly say by day, the constant overthinking about how much he thinks he’s ruined your social life has taken a negative toll on his mental health and thus subconsciously led him to avoiding you more around school. it hurt him doing this but knew you’d be better off without him

this devastated you greatly, but you weren’t ready to give up on him. one day you finally corner him (NOT LITERALLY LMAO) and desperately ask him why he’s been avoiding you many times during the weeks which eventually led to months.

while he wouldn’t really cry at any situation, this one led him to slowly break down a tiny bit as he still tried to smile a bit, although it was very wonky and just sad to look at. he’s a quiet crier, so he whispers gently and tells you everything he’s been constantly thinking about. your reputation, his reputation, how he feels like a bad curse that’s ruining your reputation.

in the end though, you comfort him with a hug and a pep talk (or just a simple pep talk if you’re uncomfortable with physical touch) that you don’t care how negatively he affects your social reputation. if anyone dares to ask why, you will by staying by his side no matter what. you chose him as your boyfriend for a reason.

eventually this calms RUI down as he apologizes for crying a little bit in front of you, feeling very embarrassed by it. you tell him it’s fine, and he thanks you, thanks you for everything you said specifically. he knew you meant it deep inside your heart, and eventually he was able to return back to the same old RUI after that moment of vulnerability he had

while after since then he’s been less concerned about his reputation ruining yours, the thoughts will still be in his mind no matter what. it’s not like it’ll go away the minute you told him how you truly felt about him, but it’s mostly in the back of his mind now. he tries now to be more open to you privately about his feelings, knowing he shouldn’t keep you in the dust anymore.