#it will get better eventually! its still a good ending i can assure you~

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

You're Still The One ♥️

Coupled up Virgin Eddie and Virgin reader having their first times with each other, and - from both love and in defiance of the people who said they'd eventually get bored with each other - ending up married and/or with a couple of kids, and still as in love with each other and as horny for each other in their 40s/50s/60s/+ as they were in their late teens/early 20s?

Request by anon.

Also this request reminded me of the Shania Twain song-You're still the one so the lyrics are at the end of this fic 🥰

Mdni. 18+. A little bit of smut at the start, fluffy and sweet. Eddie and you being utter simps for each other.

♥️

Eddie's hand gently clasps yours, the two of you are nervous, entwined together and naked in more ways than one but there's so much love and trust, the eagerness to give each other everything.

He's gentle, so very gentle as he thrusts into you. Well as gentle as he can be and holds your hand whispering words of love as he moves in and out of you, only begins to move faster when you assure him you're okay.

The sharp pain you felt at the start dulls and in its place is an all-consuming need for Eddie, you're begging him to move faster and meet his lips in a clumsy but perfect kiss.

"You okay princess?" he strokes your cheek and you nod clenching around him, he lets out a guttural moan and his thrusts become harder, a little bit sloppy at first but he gets into the most perfect rhythm that has you seeing stars.

"You feel so good, so tight sweetheart, I can't believe you're mine"

The pleasure is like nothing you've ever felt before and you know Eddie feels that way too, moans issuing from the both of you as you both reach your climax.

You're giddy and on a high, so is Eddie and the two of you kiss, giggling and so in love with each other.

"That was fucking incredible princess" he sighs then he pauses his eyes flashing with anxiety, "Was it okay for you too?" You rest your forehead against his and smile, feeling like you're on cloud nine.

"It was perfect Eddie"

♥️

People warned you that the two of you wouldn't last.

"You'll never last, you'll grow bored and move on. You're young and being so head over heels in love doesn't last forever"

All of the naysayers were proven wrong, through utter love and defiance you and Eddie fell more in love with each other and that love lasted.

Eddie proposed one beautiful spring day, he had the ring for a long time while trying to think of the perfect time to propose. He had big ideas for doing it, maybe a campaign where at the end he would propose or he could take you to a fancy restaurant and propose to you there.

In the end, though the proposal came on that spring day while you and Eddie were enjoying some quiet time together after a busy week. It was windy and a little chilly, with blossom trees in full bloom (a sight you always loved) and Eddie tearful and struggling to get the words out.

You had pretty much screamed yes and nearly tackled him to the ground when you hugged him. He was grinning widely, all dimples and glee as he slipped the ring on your finger. It was perfect.

The two of you married in the autumn, with just Uncle Wayne, very close family and friends in attendance. It was outside, in the park you and Eddie loved so much, under pretty autumnal trees painted in golds, reds and rich browns.

It was one of the best days of your life and Eddie's too.

♥️

Adelaine was the first of you and Eddie's kids to arrive, from the minute you found out you were pregnant you and Eddie pored over every pregnancy book the two of you could find. He was extremely protective and completely enraptured with your growing bump, talking to the baby and telling the baby stories.

"I want to be the best dad sweetheart. Better than my old man ever was" he murmurs as you both look at lists of baby names. Gently you squeeze his hand and press soft kisses on his forehead.

"You're going to be the best daddy Eddie Munson, you're already the most amazing husband, I know our little one will be loved and so lucky to have you" he still looks anxious so you climb onto his lap and hold him close to you.

"Eddie you're nothing like your father. He was an asshole, cold and cruel. You're nothing like that, you're so full of love and gentleness, I love you so much and so will our little one. Any anxieties we have we get through together okay?" He nods his eyes brightening and a small smile on his lips that soon turns mischievous.

"Hey, how about the name Gandalf?" you snort and shake your head.

"Absolutely not" he pouts and wraps his arms around you, rests his hand on your bump and grins when he feels a kick.

"It would be so fucking metal babe, Gandalf Munson, we could be on to something. Popularise the name" You can't help but start giggling, Eddie pouts again but lets the name game drop for now.

Five months to that day Adelaine Maria Munson was born and Eddie was wrapped around her little finger which was adorable.

Samuel Munson followed and then Arwyn Munson, completing your little family.

Not to mention the many stray cats and dogs you adopted over the years as well. Ozzy, Sabbath, Midnight, Gandalf and a lot more.

Your house was always filled with love, laughter and a dozen pets, you could never resist a cute kitty or dog and Eddie could never say no to the combined forces of you and the girl's pouts.

"Sammy, they're doing the puppy eyes again dude, help your old man out" he would playfully joke to Samuel who was pretty much Eddie's mini me and idolised Eddie.

The first time Samuel and the girls begged Eddie to teach them about D&D, he almost cried. (He totally did) and rushed to make up a campaign for them.

Sundays were campaign day every week in your house after that and Friday nights were reserved for Eddie's epic bedtime story hour - Lord of the Rings was a hit in your household.

Not to mention he made up stories for the kids and dramatically acted out each one (with your assistance) you think Eddie enjoyed telling the stories even more than the kids.

❤️

You and Eddie being still so completely in love year after year made your kids whine that the two of you were "so gross" when you kissed or were particularly touchy-feely, Eddie always over dramatically kissed you even more just to make them laugh.

All these decades later and the two of you were more in love than ever and despite what everyone said the two of you did last.

Soulmates until the end.

♥️

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my baby, We mighta took the long way.

We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on. We're still together, still going strong.

Mm (you're still the one) You're still the one I run to, The one that I belong to. You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one), You're still the one that I love.

The only one I dream of, You're still the one I kiss goodnight.

Shania Twain- You're still the one

[gemini-sensei]

Imagine alpha!Hawk coming home only to find his mate omega!Moon comforting her friend omega!Reader. The omegas are on the couch with Reader's head on Moon's lap, crying softly. Hawk doesn't ask what's happened, worried that it will only upset Reader more. It doesn't come to light what happened until Reader cries herself to sleep and Moon slipped away to talk to her mate

Turns out Reader's alpha partner cheated and kicked her out. That would explain the luggage by the door. She came straight to Moon because she didn't know where else to go. And Moon being Moon of course took her in. And Hawk won't say no to her ever so when Moon asks if Reader can stay until she can get her own place, of course he says yes.

However, as the days pass, Moon realizes that Reader is struggling to sleep alone at night. She had gotten used to sleeping with her partner and sleeping alone for the omega is hard with the sudden loss. She tosses and turns all night long and she gets no good sleep, that is if she falls asleep to begin with. It becomes so bad that Reader loses her job next, which isn't helpful to her emotionally at all.

So Moon talks to Hawk and suggests letting Reader sleep with them in their bed until she feels better. She's such a caring omega and doesn't see a problem with this idea, and Hawk agrees to it because his omega is so optimistic about it. However, when Moon suggests the idea to Reader, she is resistant at first. "I don't want to get between you and your mate. It's bad enough that I'm even here and you two are worrying over me to begin with..."

"There is nothing bad about you being here, Reader," Moon assures her. She hugs her and tells her that they just want what's best for her. "Try it for one night. You're not gonna bother or get between us."

Except that is literally what ends up happening. The three of them can't get comfortable for the life of them until Reader is in between the couple. She tries to keep to herself, arms tucked in and trying to make herself as small as possible. However, she falls asleep a lot easier like Moon thought she would and by morning, she and Moon are cuddled up, arms wound around each other and legs entangled.

As the nights like these continue, Hawk is in on the cuddling in no time. Reader's back to his chest, both omegas in his arms. He keeps telling himself this is temporary, that Reader will go back to the guest room at some point - maybe not soon, but eventually - failing to realize that he and his mate are steadily falling for the abandoned omega...

This goes on for months without the couple realizing it or anything else for that matter. They don't see how long its been, how they take to caring for Reader like she's their partner. They don't make her look for a job, don't pressure her or even bring up the idea of her moving out. It's as if this was how things were supposed to be the whole time. Nothing is wrong, but they aren't talking about it either. The situation just is what it is.

Until one night Reader is squirming and whining. She wakes up in the middle of the night with burning pain in her abdomen. It hurts so bad, she can't stand it, but doesn't want to disturb Moon or Hawk. Unfortunately, she can't keep quiet. So despite her trying her damnedest to keep still, her unmuffled whines and chirps wake Moon, who tries to shush her, still half asleep. "It's okay, Reader... what's the matter?"

"It hurts..." Reader mumbles.

Moon is confused at first until she picks up on the scent of the omega's full-on heat. She opens her eyes and looks at her. "Oh my- Reader, you didn't present a pre heat..."

"I don't have them," Reader informs her between whines. "I-I never have. They just- just show up."

She's close to tears from the burning need. Moon wipes her tears away and comforts her, pulling her close. "It's gonna be okay. I've got you. You don't have to worry about anything."

And she means it as she pushes her hand into Reader's pajama shorts. She rubs her fingers over Reader wet panties, realizing she's coated in slick.

"Aww, baby, how long have you been laying here like this?"

"Too long..."

Moon pushes her panties aside and slips two fingers into Reader's cunt easily. She finger fucks her as Hawk manages to stay asleep after a long day of hard, tiring work. She pleasures Reader, finding her clit with her thumb and pressing it as she curled her fingers. Reader buries her face in Moon's neck, moaning and whining as it helps relieve the aches and pain. She whimpers as she quickly reaches her climax and comes all over Moon's hand. But the little fun Moon had playing with her slick soaked folds wasn't enough to keep her at bay for long.

Moon is soon shaking Hawk away. "Hawk... Hawk... Eli!"

His eyes snap open and he's overwhelmed with the smell of heat and slick. "Holy shit, are you in heat?"

She shakes her head and looks down at Reader between them. "No but Reader is. And she needs an alpha..."

He blinks as he realizes what she's saying. Suddenly, he's wishing they had that conversation way before now. "Are you sure?"

Reader looks up at him, twisted up in her sweat soaked pajamas with a needy look in her eyes. "Alpha?"

He pets her hair and shushes her gently, his instincts taking over. "It's okay, omega."

"Yes, Hawk, I'm sure," Moon tells him, sitting up more. She starts undressing Reader, who whines the whole time. She peppers kisses all over her omega "friend" and whispers assurances that it's going to be okay.

At the same time, Hawk it pushing his sweats off with his boxers. Soon, the two are mostly nude and Reader is begging for the pain to go away.

Moon lays down again and pulls Reader's leg over her hip, shushing her. Hawk turns onto his side, his cock hard from the smell of heat and the whines of a needy omega. He slots his cock against her folds, slick immediately wetting his cock. He hardly needs to do anything to prep before Moon is guiding his tip to Reader's cunt and he's pushing into her.

Reader throws her head back against his chest, letting out a drawn out moan. Her eyes flutter closed as he pushes his length into her with ease, bottoming out sooner than he expected, his knot pressed against her stretched out pussy lips. He doesn't sit there for long, knowing that her heat won't be satiated like that. He set a steady, easy pace that she whined and whimpered for him to quicken. He was in no state to deny her what she needed, the pace quickly becoming fast and rough.

As he pounded her cunt, Reader almost didn't realize Moon was playing with her tits. As they bounced she grabbed hold of them and brought one of her pert nipples into her mouth, sucking on it hard. It made Reader moan loudly, embraced in pleasure all over. Hawk squeezed her pudgy belly, holding her in place as he pummeled her gushing cunt.

It wasn't long before she was babbling about how she was going to come, to which Moon responded aptly. She snaked her hand down to Reader's clit while she kept sucking on her tits. Her fingers met her clit again and drew quick circles against it, making Reader squirt hard. Slick and hot fluid gushed from her cunt as Hawk groaned, feeling her velvet walls constrict around his heavy cock. He kept pounding her, hips meeting her fat ass. Her squirting made it easy for his pulsing knot to pop into her and she came again once that happened, her whole body shaking.

His knot swelled and trapped him inside her before he started to come, filling her with heavy ropes of cum. She moaned as she already felt full just from his cock and know. His cock seemed to go off like a firehose, filling her with so much cum that she thought she was going to pop. However, it wasn't really a concern for her heat riddled mind. If anything, the thought made it all the better.

"So much..." she moaned, looking over her shoulder at Hawk as he humped her ass.

He growled as he looked down at her. He licked his lips, too high headed to say anything to her. He only buried his face in her neck and breathed in her scent, teeth grazing her bond spot. Moon watched him, then giggled and pushed his head away.

"Now is so not the time for that," she reminded him. They did not need to bond with their omega "friend" while she was in the throws of heat. It could end badly for all of them, not that the idea of her joining their relationship upset Moon. As she lay with them, she realized it was all she wanted.

Satiated or not, Reader ground her ass back against Hawk's ceaseless hips. She moaned, begging for more. "Alpha... need you."

"I just fucked you," he laughed.

"Need you to fuck me again, hard," she told him.

Moon smirked. "You heard her. Fuck her hard, alpha."

So despite his knot still swollen in her tight cunt, Hawk fucked her. He rut into Reader hard and fast, making her cream all over his cock and knot. The cum leaked out from around the tight seal they created and he knew he was going to have to fill her again and again and again, for as long as her heat lasted.

The sun was rising when they finished round two and Reader fell asleep. Hawk wrapped his arms around the omega and scented her so she'd feel comforted by his musky, protective scent when she woke up in another needy state. Moon slipped out of bed to call their workplaces and inform them that they wouldn't be in due to an unexpected heat. She didn't tell them it wasn't her heat because it was none of their business. Then she got to work making breakfast, knowing her mate and their hopefully soon-to-be mate would need their energy for all the fucking they were about to embark on.

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 2

Since the Vitrichl tasked me with observing the "human", it was not surprising that I was assigned with waking the "human“ from its recharging time session. The quarters of the human were at a, for my species, tolerable pressure, so I was not required to wear a pressure regulating suit while entering.

I found the human to already be up in its cell. Its cell did not vary much from the other‘s quarters. In one corner, there was a metal cylinder with padding inside, so it was certain to assume that "humans" were one of the species that recharged by going unconscious for a certain amount of time.

 The human looked up as I entered its quarters. It did not move at first, seemingly scanning me with what could possibly be their sight organs (two white spheres set in the skull, with a small brown ring in the middle, facing my general position). I could not be certain. The moment did not last long before the human raised itself to its full height. Four limbs. Bipedal, it seems.

I, urging to not offend the Terran, decided on simply asking "How was your recharging session?", something that would not usually be seen as a threat. I seemed to be correct, as the Terran opened one of the holes on its face, revealing a horrifying amount of what seemed to be teeth. But then it spoke. The translator in my internal auditory organ made a crackling sound, before immediately translating what was said. "Oh, uhm, it was alright, I just couldn’t find the light switch, so it was…kinda bright. But still, it was way better, I‘m not complaining or anything! On the prison planet, you could barely sleep because it was so loud. Everything‘s better than there. Hell, I‘d rather sleep on the cold hard ground here than go back there." 

I blinked with four of my six eyes. "I am afraid I do not understand."

The human, seemingly mirroring my motion, blinked back with both of its two eyes. "Well…humans usually require it to be dark in order to get a restful sleep. Or, not require, but most prefer it."

"I see. I will look into the issue." I would have expected this offer to bring the human joy, promising to change something that was bothering it, but apparently, I was wrong.

It stepped forward, and its face suddenly warped into a horrifying grimace. Its mouth, in fact, seemed to contract in a what looked awfully painful movement, reforming its shape so that the corners seemed to point upwards. I stepped back a step, finding myself in the doorway. 

But it did not attack. Instead, it raised one of its upper limbs and extended it into my direction. The ends of its limbs each had five small junctions, possibly fingers, if this species was in any way similar to any other species I have ever met. I was unsure what it wanted me to do with its extended limb, and I was careful not to act impolite towards it. Eventually, it let its limb fall to its side again. I was afraid I might have angered it, but it did not seem irritated.

"Not a shaker? Yeah, me neither, really. I‘m Quinn, by the way." It spoke again. I could not fathom what a "shaker" was supposed to be, so I decided to try a distraction method.

"A part of the crew is taking in one of their cyclic meals in the meal hall right now. I am unfamiliar with your species‘ eating habits, so I apologize if this is an insensitive request, but would you like to dine as well?" 

"Oh. Sure, food sounds good." It raised and lowered the part of its body where its limbs were attached to its upper body, a gesture that I could not fathom, but I did not question it.

I went back to the meal hall, the human following me, and I showed them what to eat. The only food we regularly carry on the SIIR Noxos are different vitamin components, which, when mixed together form a not very delectable looking but nutritious gruel. This way, we can assure the nourishment of all the crew members without having to go to ridiculous lengths to get what their bodies need to keep on working.

The human seemed to share my opinion about the looks of our cyclic diet, contracting its face muscles into what seemed to be a grimace of distaste.

Nonetheless, it consumed it without further complaint, but for an odd reason it did not sit down, but rather kept standing next to the supply depot. It finished its meal rather quick, and then we parted ways, as Vitrichl required its presence.

I did not encounter the human again for the rest of the cycle, as my species usually only consume one meal per cycle, and there was a leak in one of the machinery rooms, which I had to assistance in repairing.

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter Two I Tell Me About You

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 2481

Warning: I have literally no clue how football works. Enemies to lovers. First Person. Minimal Y/N.

A/N: LMAO I LOVE THIS GIF One of my favorite chapters! Hope y'all are enjoying!

Prologue One

Nearing a year later, I was outside the club, again, in the early morning. After being regulated at the end of last season, I had blamed myself. Ted assured me that it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Just bad luck. But I took it as a chance to do better. To be better.

But recently I’ve been having a mental blockage. I couldn’t picture myself playing the game anymore. I was struggling to coach and to train on my own. I know they hadn’t said anything, but I could tell the other coaches had noticed. With Nate being promoted I was worried that I was going to be let go or replaced. It didn’t go unnoticed to me that I was having the same insecurity that Jamie had been feeling before he left.

But still, here I was looking down the field trying to shove all those feelings of fear and insecurity aside so I could just train. I took a breath and closed my eyes, slowing my heart so I could focus on the game. With a deep intake of crisp morning air, I pulled back my foot and-

            “’Morning (Y/N)!”

I whiffed my foot right over the ball and stumbled a few feet before whipping around to see who caused the distraction.

            “Oh, good morning, Ted,” I sighed. There was no way I could be cross with him. I kicked the ball up into my hands.

            “Sorry, I didn’t interrupt you, did I?” Ted apologized as he approached.

            “No, no. I was just finishing up,” I conceded. I spun the ball in my hands wishing I could feel the same magnetism to it I had when I started the job.

Ted took a long look at me before speaking again. “Ya know… when I was little, I had this puzzle. I loved this puzzle more than anything. I would take it apart and put it together over and over, excited to see the same photo every time I put it together.  But one day, when I put it together, it felt off. Different. I tried everything to get that feeling back. The excitement to see that photo again. But eventually, I realized I had outgrown that puzzle. That it was time to move on.”

My stomach dropped. This was it, this was the moment he was going to tell me I was being let go.

            “Are you firing me, Ted?” I asked, my voice shaky with fear.

            “What? Oh, good heavens no!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “Oh my god. You scared me. I thought that was what you were saying. With the whole puzzle metaphor.”

            “Yeah, I can see how you would think that, but most certainly not.” He chuckled and made a dramatic sweat wiping motion with his hand.

After our laughter died down a moment, I twisted the ball in my hands again before looking at him to continue. “What were you trying to say then?

            “I’m just saying that sometimes it time to try a new challenge,” he paused. “I wanted to get your thoughts on bringing Jamie back.”

My eyes widened in surprise. As far as I knew, Jamie wasn’t even an option. He had quite a fall from grace after he left Man City and had his brief stint on ‘Lust Conquers All’. Sam and Isaac had hosted quite a few watch parties to watch his floundering attempt at finding love on the dating show. As expected, he was kicked off early in the game after double crossing one of the girls on the show. It was fun to watch, especially after what he had said about me in the press.

Yesterday, Sam had come to me, showing me a photo of Ted and Jamie together. He was nervous about Jamie coming back, scared of how he might ruin the good vibes that the team had now with Ted in charge. But Ted had assured us both that Jamie was not coming back. He had told Jamie no. I couldn’t lie and say that brining back Jamie wouldn’t have its pluses. The boy was talented and that’s a fact. But was that talent enough to outweigh the team dynamic.

            “Jamie?” I echoed. “I thought you said that you had told him no.”

Ted shrugged sliding, his hands in his pockets. “I did. But it’s been nagging me anyways. He’s going through a tough spot right now.”

            “Oh, really, he’s going through a ‘tough spot’?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

            “I know, I know, but there is something different about him, I swear.” Ted continued. “It takes a lot for a guy like that to come asking for help. And I’m thinking he might deserve another chance.”

I skewed my lips to the side in thought. “Jamie is… talented. But you saw Sam. He wasn’t just angry he was scared. Scared of how Jamie would treat him when he came back. It’s not about talent. It’s about… personality.”

            “So, you think it’s a bad idea,” he clarified.

Is that what I was saying? The truth was bringing Jamie back could be just what we need to push forward in the league. Get out of the tie streak and start getting back to promotion. That, or we could be stuck in the Championship League forever. And I would be known as the coach that ruined AFC Richmond. But how could I know that if we didn’t try. Something had to change. I couldn’t just keep putting together the same puzzle, hoping it would excite me every time.

            “No, I don’t,” I decided, looking at Ted. “I think we just need to be careful.”

Ted sent me a dazzling smile. “Good, cause I’m putting you on Jamie duty.”

            “Jamie duty?”

            “Yeah, cause he’s coming back today!”

            “Today- TED!”

That’s how I got stuck waiting for Jamie in the locker room. Ted thought it would be a good idea to start him slow. Get the team used to him being back, make him earn his spot.  I leaned against the doorframe, waiting for him to finish changing. Out he came, bouncing from foot to foot, punching the air occasionally.

            “’Morning! Ready for a great day of trainin’” He exclaimed, seemingly unable to stop bouncing.

I didn’t react, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. “Alright then, let’s go.”

I pushed myself off the wall and headed towards the pitch. But as I walked past him, he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

            “Wait, before we go, I just wanted to tell you that I’m different now, yeah? I’m not a prick, like I was,” he told me sincerely.

I glanced between him and where his hand touched my arm. For some stupid, idiotic, unbelievable reason, it made my heart skip a beat. His eyes looked so desperate for me to hear him. I pursed my lips and gave him a sympathetic, albeit somewhat sarcastic smile.

            “Sure, Jamie, whatever you say.” I gave him a pat on his hand, signaling for him to let go. He withdrew his hand, looking for something more from me. A sign that I had forgiven him for everything. I rolled my eyes at him. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Practice was a mess to say the least. All the lads seemed determined to bring Jamie down as far as they could. Ted told me it was my job to make sure Jamie felt comfortable coming back to practice, but it was really hard when watching Colin and Sam take their revenge was just a little too sweet.

            “Hey (Y/N), why don’t you stick around a bit after practice, give Jamie some one-on-one training to get him back into the sense of what we’re doing around here,” Ted suggested after watching Jamie flub yet another pass.

            “You want me to what?!” I blurted out before I had a chance to think.

            “Yeah! Just give him the run around. Ya’ know, literally!” He smiled at me, like it was the most amazing idea in the world. “Give you a chance to catch up on that personal training you missed this morning.” 

Ted was about to be ded. As in dead. This whole Jamie thing was HIS idea and yet here he was shoving it on me! He’s a shover.

            “Ooooh she’s looking at you with her angry eyes,” Beard cautioned, lowering his sunglasses.

            “That’s actually quite scary,” Nate chimed in.

            “Ted, I swear to god, I better not be your new puzzle,” I sneered at him.

            “New puzzle?” Nate questioned, turning to Beard.

            “Oh, the puzzle metaphor…” Beard whistled lowly. “He’s really trying something out.”

            “You know the puzzle metaphor?” I accused, narrowing my eyes at him.

            “Oh, yeah I know the puzzle metaphor.”

 “Woo, I love the puzzle metaphor, let’s get these kids in the showers!” Ted finally joined in. With that he walked forward, blowing his whistle to signify the end of training.

Then it was Jamie and me. I kicked the ball onto the field. Jamie, somehow, was still bouncing with energy.  

            “Did you see how they was treating me, (Y/N)?” he said, kicking the grass. “I’m trying me best here.”

I passed him the ball. “Score a goal.”

He backed up and readied himself. “I mean, I said I was sorry.”

With that he moved forward and kicked the ball, sending it flying on a beautiful arc to swish into the goal. I rolled him another ball.

            “Yes, you did,” I agreed, rolling him another ball. “Take 5 steps back and score again.”

He did as I instructed, stepping back to score again. “I just don’t know what else they want from meh.”

He moved forward and scored again. This time, however, the ball moved further to the left. Still in the goal, but drifting. I eyed where the ball landed. I rolled him another ball.

            “Another 5 steps,” I instructed. “Are you being serious right now?”

He took another five steps back before jogging forward and hitting another swish of a goal. This time it was even further to the left. “Yeah, I’m being serious. I’m still new at this whole nice thing.”

            “Go get the balls,” I told him. “So, you really just thought you would come back and say you’re sorry and everything would go back to the way it was?”

He jogged back with the balls. He kicked one towards me. “I mean… yeah?”

I studied the ball on the ground. Then I took three steps back, dragging my feet back as I did. Then I jaunted forward and kicked the ball, it flew through the air and swished into the center of the goal. Jamie starred at the ball.

            “You’re trying too hard, Jamie,” I explained to him. “Things aren’t going to go back to the way they were. And it shouldn’t.” I kicked a ball towards him. “You were a prick.”

He stops the ball. “What do you mean.”

            “Score a goal from there,” I told him. “I mean… do you actually know what you’re apologizing for?”

Jamie took a breath before sending the ball flying. “I mean, yeah. I was a dick. I said shitty things. I did shitty things.”

            “Do you know why I’m mad at you?” I asked him. I placed the ball on the ground and took a few steps back, dragging my feet again. The ball flew through the air and landed in the middle of the net again. Jamie looked between the ball and me.

            “How many times do I have to say that I was a prick,” he whined.

            “Go get the balls,” I shooed. “And always, you always have to say you were a prick.” He began jogging towards the goal. “And, you were a prick, but do you know why you should be sorry.”

The kicked the balls back in my direction. He furrowed his brows, thinking hard about it. I rolled my eyes at him while kicking the ball back, at nearly the halfway point of the field it was a long goal. I took a deep breath, taking three dragging steps backwards, then one step to the side.

            “You aren’t actually going to- “

I didn’t listen. I could see it. I visualized the ball and the opponents. I could see the clock ticking down as I set my feet in motion. Like slow motion, I kicked the ball and watched as it went soaring until it landed in the goal with a satisfying noise. I smirked.

            “Holy shit,” Jamie gapped. “That was like… really impressive.”

            “Jamie, I know. I’m fucking good at this. And I am the first female coach in the league. And every day I woke up with a million reasons why I shouldn’t have my job or come to work. I convinced myself every day that it would be worth it. And every day I you came up with another 20 reasons why I shouldn’t be here.” I kicked a ball up into my hands. “And you made sure to let me know that you thought you were better than me. Think about that.” I pressed the ball into his hands. “Score a goal.”

He took the ball from my hands and dropped it on the ground. He took a step backwards before kicking the ball. He missed, but just barely.

            “You need to plan where you hit the ball. The further back you go the further harder it is to get it in the goal,” I explained. He scoffed at me. “It becomes more important to really know where your boot hits the ball.” I placed the last ball on the ground and motioned for him to come stand next to me. “If you drag your feet, it gives your legs muscle memory. You’re more likely to get the ball where you want it to go.” He looked at me skeptically. I moved my hand in a swooping motion, presenting the ball to him. “Well, I’m not going to wait all day.”

He looked at the ball, then down to the goal. He mimicked my movement, backing up three steps with his feet dragging on the grass then one step over. Then he moved forward and kicked the ball. Swish. The middle of the goal.

            “Damn,” he sighed. I came up next to Jamie and stared at where the ball sat in the goal.

            “You made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be here. And that’s what I can’t forgive you for,” I stated, not looking at him. I could feel him turn to look at me, but I shook my head, feeling tears spring into my eyes. “Pick up the balls and go get showered.” With that I spun on my heel and walked inside, Jamie’s eyes burning on the back of my head.

[strwbrrykss]

𝖉𝖆𝖉𝖉𝖞 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐 | 𝖐. 𝖆𝖙𝖜𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖗

{𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕} 𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝑭𝒊𝒗𝒆: Daddy Kink 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓: Kevin Atwater 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: THIS IS AN 18+/MDNI EVENT, language, brat!reader, Daddy Dom!Kevin, overstimulation, begging, use of a vibrator, if I missed anything lmk!

                                                     -/-/-

It had come about harmlessly. An open conversation between you and Kevin one night where you put your cards on the table. Talking about what you wanted to explore and try out in the bedroom. It was a conversation you both equally participated in and worked out how to proceed.

“Kev... Is there something you’re not telling me?” He shrugged and seemed to become a touch unsettled, as though he was unsure about what to say.

“No - I mean... There’s somethin’ else I wanna try -”

“I’m listening,” you assured him, putting yourself in his lap and resting your hands on his shoulders.

“How would you feel about - About callin’ me -”

“Daddy?” you guessed and the way he swallowed hard gave you his answer.

“I’d be okay with that, Kev.”

And it had snowballed from there. The title had worked its way into more or less everyday life, no matter how much you tried to deny it. It was only ever out of earshot of others and in the privacy of your apartment. Like this very moment, where you were sat at the opposite end of the sofa to Kevin, your legs clenched together as he changed the frequency of the vibrator he’d put into your needy cunt just two hours before.

“Kev - please, please!” you pleaded with a whimper as you closed your eyes and clenched around the vibrator as he changed it again from his phone.

“Uh-uh, babygirl. You know the rules...” he taunted and continued watching the 90s sitcom re-run on TV.

“I’m s-sorry. I’ll behave next time -” He laughed, almost. A half-assed chuckle that passed his lips with an exhale. Another climax inched closer and you found it increasingly more difficult to focus. Growing desperate and needy, you eased yourself to the floor and shuffled across to position yourself at Kevin’s feet.

“Please - I wanna cum, so bad -”

“You shoulda thought about that before you went mouthin’ off. You know what I’m waiting for, sweetheart.” Kevin changed the frequency again and you couldn’t help but grip his thigh and screw your eyes shut as the sensations rocked your aching clit and made it hard to breathe. Kevin reached out and ran his thumb along your bottom lip, before pushing it into your mouth, with no resistance.

Your moans and whimpers were muffled by the addition of his thumb, but they were still loud enough to compete with the noise of the TV. When he changed the frequency or pattern of the vibrations, he only gave you a few minutes to adjust before changing it again, just to keep you on the edge of release. Eventually, you removed his thumb from your mouth and looked up at him with teary eyes.

“Please, Daddy,” you pleaded with a desperate keen when you shifted slightly and pushed the vibrator further against that one spot that made your eyes roll ever so slightly. Kevin sat up and muted the TV, now paying attention to you.

“What do you want, babygirl?”

“- Wanna cum! I wanna cum so bad, Daddy.” The more you begged and pleaded with him, the harder he seemed to get. It was even more obvious than normal, since he was wearing his favourite grey sweatpants.

“I think you can take it for another minute or two,” he stated coolly and sat back, pushing his sweatpants down just enough to free his half-hard cock from its confines. You practically started drooling on the spot at the sight of Kevin stroking himself slowly and deliberately, base to head, whilst you could only look, not touch.

“You gonna be a good girl from now on?” You nodded frantically and despite wanting to reach out and stroke him yourself, you knew better.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you,” he goaded with a smug grin, sinking further into the sofa as he watched you with heavy eyes.

“Yes, Daddy, I’ll be good,” you promised, though in the back of your mind, you knew that you’d find another, new way to act up tomorrow. When he gave you the go-ahead, you climbed into Kevin’s lap, trying not to move too suddenly or sit down too hard.

Kevin pulled down your pyjama bottoms, revealing you still had no underwear on, and your slick cunt was his for the taking. When he turned the vibrator off and pulled it out, you felt unbelievably empty. Though that feeling didn’t stay for long when Kevin got you by the hips and pulled you down onto him, all the way to the hilt.

“Fuck!” you cried, your head spinning with white-hot ecstasy. Another laugh rumbled from Kevin’s chest as he let you steady yourself first.

“That feel good, baby?”

“Yes! Yes, Daddy - so good...” Without having to be told, you began to rock and bounce on Kevin’s cock, the only input he had was his hands on your waist, controlling your pace and nothing else.

It felt beyond euphoric to finally be able to feel all of him and not have the dizzying string of almost-orgasms that came with using the vibrator. Evidently, that was one of the reasons Kevin loved it so much - perhaps more than you.

“See, I knew you could be a good girl.”

[bucketfullofstrawberries]

You know what,

Yeah

Fuck the system, Edgar lore I haven't shared with tumblr like. Ever. Enjoy, I think;

Edgar may seem like he's simply an overly-dramatic, overly emotional being that's an all-around sweetheart no matter what you throw at him - always bouncing back bright and happy as he'll ever be. And you may be right... but you do have to wrap your head around the fact that He's Nearly Older Than The Human Race Itsself. His Curator included, obviously. Though.. she's far older than Earth. An Elder of the everlasting Universal plane.

However, Edgar.. well, he's been around for Centuries upon Centuries. He's witnessed land fall and he's seen Kingdom's Rise. He's been at the feet of God and met both sides of the pendulum between life and death. He's been through the incomprehensible. He could of been a destroyer - chosen to lead a path of destruction. To be heartless.. and cold. To simply be another corrupted curve of the Universe.

But he didn't. He willingly, unguidedly chose to be in this life he lives today. To experience this timeline. To be here. To create,, to love,,, to heal,,, - to Live.

He knows the danger and the risks of doing this this way. He's VERY well aware of such. He knows he may stop this path he leads at any given moment. But he doesn't care. Because he knows how stories end. They don't always come to an end, of course... some stories live on forever, continuing on with their ups and downs.. and that's a beautiful thing to behold. Hell, he's watched them be spoken into existence. However, ending or neverending, those that eventually will come to a close are precious... stories that he still wants to have a positive impact on & bring people a happy ending. Endings they deserve. Endings that they may only live through once. But it was worth it in the long run.

He doesn't want anything in return, either. He doesn't seek for material possessions. He doesn't seek out actively for fulfillment, though that is a bonus he receives nonetheless. But he's not doing this for himself. Hes doing it for you. And he's doing it for everyone. If he can bring a smile onto someones face... if he can turn someone's life around, spin it on its head and turn things right-side up for the better - then that's what he'll do.

He stopped believing in a strict set storylines long ago. He doesn't believe there's a script to how you're allegedly supposed to live your life nowadays. He doesn't believe there's a certain way to run through your life to get somewhere in particular. You should be free. He wants you to be free. Because when you're trapped, your story won't thrive. It will simply end on a death note. Nothing else uttered.. If, however, you let yourself be set free from strict shackles.. you will surely create yourself a story worth remembering. You'll make an image for yourself. You won't be forgotten. And a being such as Edgar will make sure that you recieve the freedom your soul seeks tenfold.

And yet choosing this life, out of selflessness, he's still managed to achieve and recieve so much. And he's learnt more than he expected to... He's been taught how to love, for before he had never loved. He's been taught how to cherish, because once there was nothing worth cherishing. He's been influenced to give, because, before, there was nothing left to give. And he, himself, has been given so much. So much. More than enough. And he'll never.. be able to repay it. That's what he's told himself, anyway.... but he still wants to try. And he'll spend his whole, entire life trying.

He'll keep a precious life living. He'll assure it's kept safe & he'll do what he can to set it free..

And though, sometimes, for something so complex as him, it can be rough.. and frustrating... and difficult. But no matter how rough things may get, and how hopeless it all may seem, he will continue to persevere. He's never been one to consider his own state of being. And so he will persevere.

A life that was not fufilled with kept from goodness in a worn-away birdcage.. is not a life that seems worth living. That can correlate to the life of humanity... but that can also correlate to the life of an immortal.

What's the point of existing a life full of hatred if all you get in return is the worst parts of existence? Live free and live joyously, is something that Edgar lives by.

Coldness is barren. And unforgiving.

Love is bright,... & beautiful. And it's what he wants to share with the world. With the Universe. And Universes BEYOND this Universe.

He will share his story..... But only once he's helped write yours. And centuries worth of others.

Despite being a figure of a god, though, he doesn't perceive himself as one. On the contrary. He sees himself as lesser than most. He doesn't think of himself as a high figure of authority. Hell, he daren't even speak of himself as hierarchy. He doesn't seek worship. Or praise. He's actually overbearingly humble when it comes to things such as that;

"No need to thank me, your happiness is surely enough!"

"Oh, it's no bother.. no bother at all! Your smile is all I should need!"

"Seeing you content is the only repayment I could truly ever ask for, my dear.."

When he says things, such as the former few examples, he MEANS it. He genuinely, truly and wholeheartedly means it. He's not expectant. He doesn't secretly think in the back of his head; "I still deserve something in return for how good I've been. I'm their God. I deserve the praise". He doesn't think like that - no, not at all. He believes those thoughts aren't pure or truthful. They're tainted -- and he doesn't want to associate himself with such self admiration. The gift he only hopes to receive in return is joy, laughter & Goodness. To turn something pure is a miracle in its own right.. and thus quite the gift to recieve as a whole.

Edgar, himself, is not pure by any means. But it's not his fault. He was created as a means for achieving.. well, perfection. In a way. A perfect being. Humane enough, but not weak. But being "perfect" meant having a strict purpose.. and following it through. He's never had a set purpose. He merely does what he feels is in the right. He's done what he feels is good. He's not perfect. He's flawed. And his flaws are impure -- if you were to take them raw. But set them aside, and put them in Edgar's hands... the impurity of it is what makes him special. It's what makes him capable of loving and it's what makes him capable of being outrageously, spontaneously excitable. It's what makes him laugh, it's what makes him cry. If he were perfect - well, there'd... there'd be no Edgar. Just. A shell.

That's not what he was purposed for. And you know what?

He thrived. And he lived. And observed.

And after years of observing, quietly waiting in the shadows, finally coming out of his shell - he created something beautiful for - not only himself - but so many others that have walked their way into his life. Not a game.. or a place to keep orderly with instructions allegedy set in stone. No,

He's created a family.. ♡

If he were to have the option either keeping his joyous demeanor and ways of life, and cutting off the rest of the lively, excitingly beautiful nature of the rest of the universe - or, instead cut off his own happiness and let the universe live on as something to be glorious, leave a legacy and to flourish. He'd choose the latter without another thought. He'd be a husk of what he once was, sure,.. but deep down he'd still know, somewhere in his soul, he'd done the right thing. As the good within everything outweighs his own existence by a LOT. It's certainly worth a lot more to save all of that. Right?

But, if he were to do such a thing, he'd do it with a smile on his face. He'd do it with a gleeful, joyous smile with absolutely zero reluctance whatsoever. His story can end when it's his time to go... just as long as others may carry on a legacy. Live the lives the Universe had purposed them to live.

..That's only a hypothetical, though.

...but still. He would sacrifice himself.

He'd do it a million times over. Because he has no reason not to. Why would he hesitate if it meant the magnificent beauty of life itself would live on forevermore..?

If he could relive his own, personal experiences - with all the joys & laughter he'd brought upon people, recreate the smiles on faces that came and went, he would. He really.. really would. He'd redo it all again.

If he got to meet everyone he's ever met once more, if he got to save things that were once lost. If time itself had warped back and set him to the start. Even if he hadn't a single, slightest clue it'd happened. Despite all the pain,,, all the torment and agony he'd have to endure. He'd re-live it all again.

Because this was a life worth living.

And it may be the only time he gets to live it. With everyone.... With all that he knows and loves...

With you...

❝ I've said many things throughout my time and repeat my words like a broken record. But Your universe is Mine. And I treasure it like the precious thing it is. A Tender.. fragile thing. I've never once seen a place like yours... And I don't think I'll get to see one quite like it again...

It's insignificant, if we were to compare along side every other universe before it, and every other universe after it. But this one is lit by a flame. This one... it sparks with something special....

The hands of time tick down to inevitable death. And others may see it that way, and they will run. And they will hide from it.... But you... people like you-- you don't.

You value your worth. And you treasure every second you have living & make it as memorable as you see fit. And that, in itself, is beautiful.

Keep living... dear explorers. Keep thriving.

Your stories may come to an end some day. But they pass... and will carry on through generations who wish to tell your wonderdul tales.

..And I will be there to tell those tales for the rest of time.

Because I've watched...

And I know;

..You're lovely. ❞

~ E.M.☆

[hikariale]

love overflow!

"want to place that hoodie you took off by our pillow and eventually eat rice from its warmth. i know. that's not something that's easily understood, but i won't give up and i'll keep telling you how i feel!"

headcanons about peculiar habits formed out of love

characters: jade, jax briggs, shang tsung, skarlet, tanya

content warnings: mentions of injury and gore, smoking, timeline ambiguous but written with the original timeline in mind, ask to tag!

Jade will gossip with you. She takes her job extremely seriously and tends to distance herself from unprofessional things, so even the way she interacts in casual settings can feel uptight. Though she claims she has no vested interest in gossip, she always seems to know the juiciest things. Being in touch with court intrigue is just another duty of protecting Kitana, so she always has an ear to the floor. Technically, since they're palace secrets, telling them to an outsider is unthinkable and borderline treasonous... But if you press her, it's rather easy. She has her own opinions, even if she pretends to be above it all, so once you break the dam, you'll get the entire flood. Being able to confide in someone without courtly pretences is a treat to her, so she actually looks forward to you asking her about it.

Jax won't smoke around you if you aren't a smoker. He doesn't quit smoking, but the only time you will see his lighter is during camping trips. His clothes still smell of smoke, but if you spend the entire day with him, you're more likely to learn what kind of laundry detergent he uses. He doesn't want you to be stuck inhaling his secondhand smoke because he knows that it is objectively bad for people, so even if you say it's alright, he will probably abstain. If you are a smoker, he may have casual banter with you over your respective brand picks. Still, he won't knock it until he tries it, so you may end up swapping cigs one day. Though it's his biggest vice, he will unquestionably kick it if you ask him to. And if you're both smokers, he will try to keep both of you accountable and responsible with intake.

Shang Tsung will never treat you like a glass doll, but he will micromanage your health. Unless he takes care of things with his own hands, he won't feel satisfied that everything is in order. In some ways, it's a blessing. But depending on your tolerance for unconventional treatment, it can be a bit of a curse. The good news is that you could be sliced down the middle and thrown into a pool of acid and still live to see the next day. The bad news is that, if he cannot prevent your death, he will rouse you from your eternal slumber. The words "favourite person" may not seem to mean much from him, but the key term is "person," as opposed to "subject" or "pawn." A person may be physically cloned, but Shang Tsung knows better than anybody that clones are not the same person.

Skarlet will take the blood from your wounds like a keepsake. Though it might make you uneasy, she doesn't have any ill will. In her mind, it is the same as keeping a photo of you in a locket. No matter the severity of the injury, Skarlet can keep you from bleeding out, so you could joke with her that she's taking a blood tax for her services. Depending on the situation, she might even crack a smile! It is hard for her to explain why she takes your blood when she doesn't really need it for anything, but just be assured that she could distinguish your blood from anybody else's. Even if yours was a single drop in a bloody ocean. That attachment is, in its own morbid way, the red string that she's tied between the both of you.

Tanya will just lie on your behalf. You don't want to go to a meeting? You can't because your ceiling caved and you had to stay home all day to deal with the issue. Someone is giving you unwanted attention? Better luck next time because Tanya will make up a list of reasons about why that person shouldn't try to approach you anymore long enough to be a legal document. It would be nice if she let you know ahead of time, but she will set a wedge between you and your petty inconveniences as soon as she hears about them. You can fight your own battles, but if she doesn't think it's worth your time, she will swiftly sweep and smother them under a rug. If it is something that has been causing you a lot of duress, she might go the extra mile of stomping on that spot as you walk along your merry way.

[wri0thesley]

Cat dad anon here: ironically by the the time you posted my response I got sick again lol funny how that works (I’m not mad btw i thought it was just funny because i forgot i sent that originally)

I would like to add to this with genshin WOMEN as cat moms.

Arlecchino is technically a cat dad literally because she has Lynette and Lyney. But also those two have snuck in many a stray into the hearth to keep as their own. Ironically enough many end up becoming hers in the classic: dad who didn’t want cat ends up being cat’s favorite. Well she sees no reason to fight it now, it makes the kids happy to have the cat even if it seems to prefer her. Rest assured that kitty will be well cared for not just because it has a bunch of orphans caring for it but because Arlecchino makes sure it only eats the most delectable of fish.

Jean is probably the one who gets a emotional support cat. A gift from Lisa perhaps? A affectionate little fluff ball that lingers around her helping her feel more at ease. Its been trained to bump her with its head whenever she gets too tense or stressed in order to indicate its time to relax and give the kitty some pets. It helps immensely as if she stays up too late the cat will simply lay ontop of her work forcing her to turn in for the night.

Another is Undoubtedly Chlorine. Awaiting her each day is a cat waiting by the door to greet her by immediately begging for food. A very loud kitty maybe a siamese as its miles more chatty than she herself is.

Ningguang possesses a common breed of cat surprisingly. Not s luxurious breed at all but rather a simple black cat. (Fun fact black cats were originally thought of as good luck) but this cat isn’t not at all poised or graceful. Infact its quite troublesome. It seems to be mischievous on purpose. If it is hungry then you will know from the sudden sounds of pottery falling. Since then most pots are reinforced to not be knockable. But the cat is a plump bastard because the staff struggled to calm it. Still even with its mischievous nature is Ningguang quite content with the creature. She sleeps with them cuddled by her as she used to cuddle cats while she lived on the streets for warmth. In fact the very cat she owns was picked out because it resembled her stray cat friend who passed long ago. Which is also why she will not even entertain the idea of replacing it and glares at anyone who suggests it. Her kitty is her respite from her stress as she can now spoil her little friend.

Beidous cats would be different. As she is a captain it actually would make sense to have cats onboard. Infact its a common. Ship cats are good for mice management but that also means they may not be as affectionate as they’re more wild like. More busy below decks stalking the mice. But beidou’s cats are a bit different. They proudly display to her their bounties so she’ll reward them with much love and affection. Plus there’s her pal kazuha who is canonically a cat magnet. Those cat lives better lives than some people!

And of course Lisa. Lisa definitely seems like she’d end up attracting other cats than actually having one of her own. Like if Kaeya has a kitty then it may find Lisa swaying it to her side with promise of quality naps and treats. Or if Jean is out on business she is the cat babysitter who will be lounging with the kitty enjoying a nice nap. Eventually she’d end up attracting a permanent cat who snuck into the library during a storm. She let the guy stay in of course but even after weeks have passed does it refuse to leave. Its more of the library’s cat but she is the librarian. She playfully gave it the title of her assistant as it likes to sit at her desk with her paperwork displayed like its actually doing buisness. It even has its own Favonious collar labeling it as a official employee of the Knights. The cat seems to Mimic Lisa alot. It follows her to greet and check on jean and play with Jean’s own kitty cat. But it doesn’t like going outside where its more noisy. It would rather nap on the sunlight coming through the window.

CAT MOMS . . . be still my heart. and oh no anon i'm sorry to hear that; i am sending you soup and hoping if you have a kitty of your own it is providing the healing snuggles and purrs that you deserve!

lisa's library cat is making me feel so soft; i adore her and the thought of walking into the library to see her snoozing behind the desk with the cats of the rest of the knights of favonius deciding she's a lovely pillow and a perfect napping spot . . . sigh.

navia definitely has a plump spoilt kitty who is dressed in the finest of clothes; she can't resist giving it a sweet treat now and then, and everyone in poisson knows that the cat with the lovely ornate collar belongs to their demoiselle and as such gives the cat a freshly caught fish or a bit of chicken or too many pets and loves!

miko is very fond of cats because they're just as tricky as she is; they tend to follow her around - but her favourite is a sleek black cat who sits, mostly, off to one side. it follows her but it doesn't want fusses or too many pets; it follows her to the shrine, to the publishing house . . . she's named it 'ei'.

[hearts401]

can you pass the golden duo headcanons i think you would have good ones

🤲🤲🤲my hands are open ready to catch them

RUBS MY FUCKING HANDS TOGETHER IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THEM SM UVE COME AT THE RIGHT TIME

echolalia. i already said that but. ECHOLALIA. shit gets tossed around. funny words youd find in a dr seuss book.

holding hands, leaning on each other, and lots of hugs!!!! best friends 2 me :(

cassidy wasnt super nice to him when they were alive and she regrets it a lot because of how things turned out and shes super defensive of him now

that being said, she never bullied him and was actively rude to anyone who did. she didnt particularly like him but she wasnt gonna stand for the harassment. if shed known about his party, she couldve saved him and i think she thinks about that a lot

i think eventually she apologized formally and he assured her it was fine and that he forgave her. because she of all people deserved it

he listens to her vent her frustrations. sometimes she reminds him of michael with how angry she is, but he knows how to calm her down and he always remembers shes nothing like michael was

he keeps her company in ucn when being around everyone is too much. hes forgiven them but sometimes things are hard still. sometimes he cant be around them. and she really needs company too. he knows she wont come to him, so he goes to her.

he doesnt like the gore or blood so cassidy will talk to him when theyre stuffing nightguards

hes still scared of animatronics so none of the kids greet him as animatronics. they care about him sosoososo much

evan would do fucking anything for cassidy. anything.

she knows his anxiety triggers pretty well by this point and she knows how to distract him. and vice versa.

casisdy doesnt panic as much as she gets over emotional and freaks out. does that make sense? she has more anger than fear and it fucks her up and hes always there when she gets tired of it.

he does her hair because he died before he could ever do his own. he wishes hed grown out his hair before he died

she encourages any behaviors he hid because of michael. she encourages anything that goes against michael.

shes a terribly influence on evan but its because she lvoes him and thinks he deserved better. he thinks she has enough anger for the both of them. she knows hes right and she hates it because HE deserves this anger.

they fight a lot but its never like cassidy and charlie. if cassidy fought with evan like she fought with charlie itd ruin both of them.

if theyd lived they probably wouldve run away together and been roomates

they like to joke that theyre soulmates (platonically) in both a figurative and literal sense. get it? because their souls are connected in golden freddy? they are my world

when they first meet in GF its tense. they end up caring about each other but theres lots to figure out and understand. she cant yell too loud at him because it reminds him of his dad, she cant play certain pranks on him like she might with her friends because it reminds him of michael.

she learns when to be loud and open with him and when she has to be gentle. he gets used to her shenanigans but sometimes things are too much

shes jokingly mean to her friends but not as much to evan because he doesnt always get its a joke

shed have loved to do his makeup and his nails. if theyd lived and moved out together the first thing they wouldve done is dye their hair and paint their nails and do their makeup and buy clothes they KNOW their parents would hate.

thats all i have in my brain rn they make me sad

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[jechristine]

Going to round up a few similar opinions on SAG’s interim agreements that people have sent me since yesterday and respond all at once—

With all due respect, and I especially love Boots Riley and his politics, these positions are wrongheaded.

Roughly 100 (and rising) indies who have been offered the interim agreement (not “the waiver,” a word which I wouldn’t be surprised to find out originated in the anti-union trade magazines) have for the moment agreed to give SAG-AFSTRA members everything that their union is asking for. In return, the union has said that all of its members are allowed to work on those productions and wouldn’t be “crossing the picket line” if they do. When the strike ends and the AMPTP and SAG sign the new contract, those indies will then move to a “me too” agreement, something that exists in all industries that bargain. That is, they’ll abide at least by the industry standard set by the AMPTP.

First, there’s the pipeline issue, which I think is the best of the arguments against this course of action. The idea is that these indie productions are making films that they’ll ultimately sell to the streamers, so the streamers will get their content right on time without having suffered at all. Since they know the content is coming, they have no incentive to end the strike to get production up and running.

So here are the problems with this line of thinking: 1) It levels all new content, treating it as if it were all equal in the eyes of the producers, like what Netflix or WBD or any of them really want is a bunch of indies to push out, as if that will satisfy their audiences. That simply isn’t the case. The studios want their blockbusters and their shows that millions and millions of people tune in for. And those big projects, which are produced by the big studios, continue to be the struck work. And 2) It imagines that without these indies there will be no content for the streamers. Not true. The streamers can and probably already are buying foreign-made non-union projects, a la KDramas. They can increase their historical libraries (cf Suits). They can get non-scripted, non-union shows. There’s plenty of places in addition to the indies for streamers to scrap together content, but the very fact that these plan B (or C) projects weren’t ever the main source of income tells us that they really aren’t want the streamers want. So yes they’ll get some projects in the pipeline, as literal stop-gaps, but I doubt they’re celebrating.

Then there’s the “me-too agreement” issue, which is standard in labor. The idea is that because the indies will eventually be party to the new AMPTP/SAG contract once it’s negotiated and signed, the concessions they’re making now—accepting all of SAG’s proposals—don’t amount to much.

I honestly don’t get why some people have treated this argument as if it’s so strong. Yes, it’s likely that SAG won’t get everything that it wants, but final terms will include many of SAG’s proposals and will be significantly better than the status quo. In the meantime, the union refutes the AMPTP’s claim that it’s proposals are unreasonable and unrealistic. Of course the AMPTP doesn’t really believe it’s own claim, but the primary audience is the general public. Part of the strategy is waging a public relations war so that the public helps by putting pressure on the AMPTP to capitulate. People may think the idea of public support is hokey or whatever, but I assure you it’s a real thing and effective.

And this—

If the strike never ends and all the work goes to projects with interim agreements, that would be fine, too!

I think it’s also good to note that the indie producers are not struck companies. If Walmart workers are striking Walmart, they’d still be allowed to work at Target, and especially so if Target said that it’ll give Walmart employees everything that they want! Same idea. (I know it’s thornier because of the streaming distribution piece, but I address that above.)

It is really important in the labor movement to reward the people who say yes to your terms and conditions of employment. You say yes to us; we say yes to you. Otherwise, what is the incentive for companies to bargain with you?

And meanwhile, some actors and all the workers on the productions that have gotten the interim agreement will be gainfully employed. Isn’t that good?

[macgyvertape]

Thoughts on Season of the Wish

Its funny that Mara has now been the focus of 2 extended seasons. Overall I love how this expansion year has had a lot of female antagonists, and conflicts between characters who are against the Witness but not allies like Mara vs Riven, Eris vs Savathun.

Also Bungie has really been able to iterate successfully with randomized maps and enemies in seasonal activities. Its fun to have modes where abilities or weapons are boosted like Asha’s Gifts, the Arcana Cards, and buying things from Riven it can really let niche or non meta builds shine.  Gameplay:

Is Mara’s outfit more shimmery this season or is it just my better graphics card? It really is a good design for space royalty

Understandably the devs wanted to get their full use of the Riven’s paths, but between appearing in the story missions, Riven’s Lair activities, and The Coil I was tired of running them by the season end. I’m not sure if it was a limitation of how randomized areas worked, but it was annoying to have one extra connecting hallway and portal from the start to the first combat area. 

The Coil once scoring was buffed was a very fun activity, Riven’s Lair however didn’t seem to have rewards worth it until Bungie started the daily red borders from activities. Frustrating however that the reprised Undying weapons weren’t included in the red border buff. 

The Guardian Games skimmer has been so much fun to use, especially how it can cross gaps or height differences that are meant to block sparrows, shame that getting it was obviously set as a player engagement grind; watch twitch a lot, be lucky with your personal schedule for focus activities to compensate for bugs, or compete with the streamer try hards for top 10%. 

I noted in this season the other player engagement metrics; “please login each week” with the free bright dust but the 20% silver sale popup felt much more predatory, especially how there still isn’t a silver package that directly matches the silver price of one season.

Blind Well got a buff in difficulty which is understandable since the power sandbox has changed. However I wish the Ada bounty would be reworked to compensate, since it's not worth the time spent.

Never thought I’d say it but had a great time with the Crucible seasonal challenge. I haven’t touched mayhem in a while but running arc staff hunter, Shinobu’s vow exotic, and demolitionist perk Mountaintop led to some really great combo loops. 

I enjoyed Onslaught a lot, however I wish instead of a short playlist mode that isn’t rewarding, there was a 30 minute based mode since an hour for a full run is a big time commitment. No wonder 2 rounds in Legendary then leave became so popular as being most value for time vs reward.

The Archie quest was cute and a lot of fun, nice to go back to older areas for hide and seek. 

I thought Pantheon was fun and I hope a version of it comes back since sadly I didn’t do more than week 2 due to time constrictions and trouble finding a group. I’d love to play through the 2 Rhulks especially at a less than -20 power difference. 

Plot

I love summoning Riven ended in a dramatic “I refuse”. Sloane and Ahsa's storyline was about trusting someone’s good intentions, this season was about a “bargain not based on trust” just the mutually assured consequences of breaking it

Really like the song that plays in boss fights in the Coil as a remix of Forsaken tracks. I hope it appears on the Destiny Music archive eventually since this season didn’t have a soundtrack released

I can’t believe after all that hype we don’t even get to see a Harbringer

“I yearn for you to stop talking” IMO Crow is at his most enjoyable when he has a bit of fight to his comebacks. This really is the season of re-evaluate my feelings on Crow, where I really disliked him in season of the Risen and have overall been bored by him since he got his memories back. 

Riven imitating Shaxx and then threatening to imitate Sjur was really mean, and really funny direct nod at the Shaxx/Mara fanon. I really enjoyed the mutual antagonism this season between Riven vs Mara, Crow, and Petra. Really curious how bad Riven would twist the wish of the Dreaming City safe that she dares them to make

Hearing the Oracles in the one mission was startling enough to gimme flashbacks to hours spent in VoG. It's an unsettling tone, though musically I’m not sure why, or if its just that my raid role was oracle spotter.

The “can only send 1 person reveal” sparked such a fun fight between Mara and Riven that it made it my 2nd favorite season this year. I really have missed the story element of people on the same side being antagonistic towards each other

“You and I will see where the river flows” Riven has been the most interesting character this season, and this has been my favorite Mara character writing since her brief appearance in Forsasken. It felt like a good final send off for Riven, with the slight possibility that she could come back if there was an interesting enough story reason

Lmao Crow Mara special twin bond magic, and he says it was his purpose. I dislike this being his Destiny (pun intended) or that any of the Sovs have a fated path vs making their own choices.

“I’m tired Mara I’m ready for what comes next. It's ok to admit you are too”. Osiris was a side character this season but I really like his character arc about being excited there might be a resolution, an end in sight. Hope that works out for him

Its a big contrast to Petra who starts the season worn down by the curse in the dreaming city and fighting an unwinnable war, and ends the season saying that her focus has to be on her people in the future, with the implication the attacks by the Vex will be The Final Straw (pun intended)

Awwwwwwwwww I feel so sad finishing the story and getting [defeaning silence] when doing The Coil. I then stopped doing seasonal activities in that character and didn’t finish the story in the others

Lmao Crow hammer firing Hawkmoon then using melee recharge dodge when no enemies were around. His ass is not proccing Paracausal shot (there’s a reason I deleted Hawkmoon and don’t use it)

Interesting that during the Crow vs Cayde standoff “Thin Line” which is Uldren’s leitmotif doesn’t play. It did of course play when Uldren shot Cayde but also when Zavala discovered who Crow was. I feel like Crow shooting Cayde has been covered exhaustively so I hope that isn’t a major point of The Final Shape. 

Also I’ve been saying Rheasilvia wrong. Rey-a-silvia. I’ve also been pronouncing Jolyon wrong all these years

[fumikomiyasaki]

[evil] Hewwo bestie i offer ❝  you know i’m yours,  right?  i only have eyes for you.  ❞ for jealousy dialogues and [ CARESS ]  for actions for anyone you want :))c

Jealousy

❝  you know i’m yours,  right?  i only have eyes for you.  ❞

Old wounds carve deep they said... and similar it was for Phobetor... even if he was getting better, being closer with Orphne and slowly dealing better with his cursed body... on that day he noticed himself glancing back at his former lover... given this joined event settled different students from different schools into this room, yet Orphne ignored him and focused on what the staff had to say... eventually he snapped out of it and turned his gaze back to her instead of Camilla... feeling somewhat guilty he did and took a deep breath.

He tried to join her in listening but eventually his gaze shifted once in a while... pain stinging in his chest as it got better once Orphne accidentally let her arm lean on his... moreso to relax but it snapped him back... once the talk was done the two oft them were alone near the rose gardens as he spoke up.

"Something on your mind?"

"Nothing really just another daydream..."

She was the same as usual but still he took her hand feeling the guilt pressing into him.

❝ You know i’m yours,  right?  I only have eyes for you.  ❞

"I know, so what?"

"I... often still feel trapped by the past... like some things are left unsaid hence... I felt bad looking at her."

"And what do you want? For me to punch you about it? Whats done is done... and you should accept that."

"You are right..."

With a small smile he held the Dame's hand... walking with her... its good he had her as a somewhat calming force to his broken state of mind... and so he managed for the rest of the day to not look back anymore... only at his current partner... in hopes to not be consumed by the nightmares himself.

---------------------------------

[ CARESS ]  for one muse to possessively kiss the other in public.

Keres didn't really want to be here, but still they accompanied hiding behind Nanoya and Flynn to this gala to celebrate Flynns debut... in the end for most of the time they were just standing to the side with Nanoya and chatted a little but even he was dragged away being questions by some paparazzi while they hoped nobody would spot them... just to be approached by an actress who looked at them in disdain.

"Urgh and somebody like you gets to hang closely with such a refined actor... he really must take pity on you."

Pity, huh? Thats what they thought alright... it always been like this... people only hanging out with them cause of pity, at least thats how they saw it... maybe it wasn't the best idea to come here... what if they ruin the reputation of the both of them... what if this all is just an elaborate scheme over all this time.. they gripped their arms in annoyance untill Flynn stopped by with smirk.

"Hey is this colleague of mine bothering you, my dear Amber."

"Just admit it, Flynn... You only hang with this person for your own entertainment, they seem like a good person to fool... our scene had far more impact toget-"

Before she could talk on, Flynn already gave her a light smack across the face, much to Keres surprise... but even moreso that he pulled them close for a passionate kiss... clearly marking his territory among the other guests that they belong to him, glaring sharply.

"I am sorry, deary but... if you dare to insult my dearest partner then, you can be assured your next few auditions for roles might not go well... you should watch your back if you dare slander my dear Ambers name."

"You little."

He turned to Keres.

"Are you alright?"

"I a-am but could you not focus on me."

"Right... let me draw all the attention to me so you can rest."

He took one of the mics and went onto the table... it was like he was set on ruining that womans name in front of the crowd... deserved it seems cause she been causing quite some trouble for a while... Nanoya meanwhile came back and leaned his arms around Keres.

"If there is one thing Flynn is passionate about its protecting who he cares about... its always been this way..."

They looked back at him, feeling the warmth of Nanoyas arms and looking how much he made a show out of this somewhat pushed some of the bad thoughts from before away.. but not all of them.

[ginger375]

LUtober

See the full collection on AO3.

Day 20: Desolation

Twilight did not understand Wild some days.

Trekking through the Gerardo Desert of Wild’s era was a trial on the best of days, but actively taunting a Molduga was not his idea of a good time.

He sat on top of some ruins with Wild, having tagged along against his better judgment. The rest of the group was back at camp, taking a well-deserved rest in the shade.

Wild, however, was just gleefully tossing bomb after bomb down on the sand, trying to lure the beast to breach the surface. They had planned to come this way tomorrow, and Wild decided the best option was to rid the area of the Molduga now so they wouldn’t have to deal with it later.

“I don’t think it’s working, cub,” Twilight said as he held a hand above his eyes to try and shield the sun’s glare off the sand. He could barely see a ridge of moving sand on the far side of the ruins where Wild assured him the Molduga was lurking.

“He’ll be along eventually,” as he chucked another round bomb as far as he could. The desert wind picked up for a moment and rolled the bomb closer to the far end of the ruins. “Ah, perfect.” Wild detonated the bomb, causing the moving sand to pause and change direction. He threw another a bit closer, the movement drawing it even closer.

Finally, the beast went for the bomb, bursting forth from the sand and nearly blocking out the sun. Wild detonated it, stunning the creature as it fell back to earth.

“Hold this a sec,” Wild said, handing Twilight the Sheikah Slate while he readied a bomb arrow to fire at the Molduga’s thick hide.

Twilight held the slate like it had personally offended his ancestors (maybe it had?), but took a closer look at the map on the display screen. Wild had left a pin marker for where camp was, a spot called the Southern Oasis, and a yellow arrow for where they were now. Twilight fumbled his fingers a few times to zoom in on their spot when words appeared over the area.

“This is… Arbiter’s Grounds?” Twilight trailed off, looking around at the desolation before him. A few pillars and archways in varying states of decay and weathering were all that remained.

It can’t be the same, can it? Wild is however many thousands of years ahead of Twilight, there’s no way this was the site of his…

“Yes! Done like dinner!” Wild cheered as the Molduga met its end in a massive puff of black smoke, leaving behind pieces of fin, guts, and a couple of… treasure chests?

Wild jumped down to collect his spoils, leaving Twilight to slide down after him with far less enthusiasm. He still held the slate as he looked around at the ruins, trying to picture the structure in his own era.

He heard Wild say something about a Golden Bow, but his own thoughts were racing–Did the structure crumble, or has it been buried? Is the Mirror Chamber buried beneath his feet? Is this really where he last saw her–

A loud ringing sounded in his ears, blocking out any other noise around him. He could feel his heart racing and his vision started to darken around the edges. His hands started trembling as he sank to his knees. What was happening to him? He couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he couldn't BREATHE—

“Twi?” He felt the hand on his shoulder “Look at me, please?”

Twilight forced his eyes open to see Wild with deep concern etched on his face. He was still having trouble catching his breath as he felt tears well up.

Wild took his hand and rested it over his own chest before placing his hand on Twilight’s chest in return. “Breathe with me, okay? Inhale with me… and let it out… slowly now.”

As his breathing slowed, so did his heart beat. Wild pushed a waterskin into his hand and asked him to drink. The water was warm, but welcome on his parched throat.

“I don’t know what just happened…” Twilight trailed off.

“You were having a panic attack. Flora has them sometimes,” Wild said softly. “Let’s get you out of the sun.”

Twilight allowed Wild to lead him to a pillar that offered a small amount of shade, where he all but collapsed and rested against.

“I’ve never had that happen before,” Twilight said after another drink of water.

Wild hummed in acknowledgement, letting Twilight speak if he needed to.

“There’s an Arbiter’s Grounds in my era. It’s where I…I’ve never told you about this, have I?”

Wild shook his head. “You don’t have to if it’s too much right now.”

“No, I think it might be a good idea.”

The sun reached its zenith and was on its way back down to the horizon by the time the two heroes made their way back to camp, with Twilight’s heart feeling a bit lighter than before.

[pinnithin]

long kind of sad gay poast ahead

saw something about loving the unlovable and it got me thinking about how its a central theme in most of my writing. paired with like, isolation, being separate/other, the doomed concept of human connection, being the only person who can love and understand you the way you need, etc - i watched evangelion way too young if you couldnt guess.

anyway and this is due to the fact that a core part of my identity and personality revolves around the fact that i considered myself unlovable for the majority of my life, first unconsciously through childhood neglect, then by choice as some "you cant fire me i quit" teen angst sort of thing, then by a doomed sense of resignation all through college. its a significant part of how i see myself even now after years of working to unlearn it - ive managed to dial it back to "im difficult to love" which still isnt great but yknow. better than it was

which is why i have attachment issues and preferred one night stands for a long time. my romantic relationships (many of them short lived) have been with well meaning partners who assured me constantly that like, even though youre difficult to love its worth it. and that was all nice and good but it made me feel so fraudulent and disgusted with myself because it put me in the position of thinking either 1) this person doesnt actually know me that well at all or 2) i have somehow tricked this person into thinking under all the baggage theres someone worth loving. which is something i find difficult to reconcile with because the baggage is me too. i cant get rid of it. inevitably those people got wise and it ended up not working out.

by now have all these arguments and strategies geared up to explain to people who make the mistake of caring about me that its really not worth the effort, we're better off as friends or acquaintances, etc. im very transparent about the issues i deal with so its all just laid out there from the beginning and im not like, tricking people into being in a relationship with me or whatever by hiding it. ive talked in circles with exes over and over along the general lines of "im difficult to love" > "no youre not" > "i have xyz wrong with me and i push people away, trust me you dont want to deal with this" > "okay well we can work on that, and youll get better and itll be worth it" > "what if i never get better" > "you will, ill help you" > [me relenting bc im unable to dash their hopes and dreams that even if i Get Better im still Me at the core and the things that make me difficult to love are a permanent part of me]

the relationship im in now doesnt even let me get into that. shan is just like, youre not. youre not difficult to love, youre actually very easy to love and it has always been easy to love you, even before we were dating. and i dont have a comeback for that.

even with my usual strategy of "heres an itemized list of all the reasons dating me is a risk" theyre just like well sure, thats difficult for you to deal with, and im sorry its so hard for you, but that doesnt make you difficult to love. the loving is easy. that part has always been easy.

she doesnt treat me like a problem that needs to be solved she doesnt try to be my savior from myself she doesnt give any indication that shes just waiting it out until i reach a certain threshold of acceptable or unacceptable. she just loves me and trusts me to take care of myself, and it places a lot of personal responsibility on me to be better - not for us but for me, because im the only person who can do that and they know it.

its the healthiest relationship ive ever been in and ive never felt so safe and free to be myself. i dont need to live up to any expectations to eventually make myself lovable. im easy to love. hard thing for me to believe in self practice but going back to the inherent disconnect between all humans, who am i to know or control what they consider easy or difficult? i dont judge her when something she finds difficult is easy for me, so why wouldn't the opposite be true?

[chubbycutegirl]

Trigger warnings ⚠️

Cancer

Injury

Surgery

So I'm going to try blogging every week about little and big things. Try is the keyword here, who knows how this will go.

So recently we found out my aunt was very sick, she has stage for breast cancer that spread to her bones.

I got to visit her this past Saturday in the hospital, and to my surprise she is doing better than I thought she would. I thought she was going to be on her deathbed, but as always she was fighting. I wouldn't say she was comfortable it was obvious she was uncomfortable, but she was able to hear us to squeeze my sisters hand and make eye contact with us. I'm hoping and praying she recovers. I have a good feeling she can pull out of this.

About a month ago I hurt my right knee (not the wrong knee) in hapkido. We were doing this jumping excercise, and my leg went to far out my knee popped and I fell to the ground.

Since the incident my knee has hurt a little. I would say it's consistently at a 3 out of 10. Which isn't all that bad just more annoying than anything else. I saw my orthopedic on Tuesday May 30th. He told me he is suspicious of a torn ACL. Which to me would make sense because I haven't been able to do everything since the incident. I get an MRI on this upcoming Tuesday to see what all is going on. If it is a torn ACL that will require surgery to fix it.

The idea of surgery does not bother me. If it will help me get back to 100% sooner put me under the knife. Just assure me I'll wake up from it. Of course I will its an outpatient surgery that only takes an hour, so it isn't a huge deal.

I actually looked up how the surgery is done and it really isn't all that complicated. And this is where the surgery trigger warning applies itself, so if anyone is reading who gets bothered by surgery this is your place to stop reading.

******

They make 3 incisions on the knee 1 for a small camera and 2 for the tools. They remove the torn ACL and shave down the bone in order to prepare it for the "new" ACL. they then drill a hole through the femur and the tibia that way they can insert the "new" ACL there and they will stretch it as much as a normal ACL is. They place a button on one end and a screw in another to keep the ACL in place. The screw is biodegradable so it will eventually just become part of the bone. Then after that they stitch you up.

******

Okay for all of those who don't like surgery talk you can continue reading from here. This surgery does not bother me. However, my grandmother had issues with general anesthesia I can't remember exactly what it was besides she couldn't wake up on her own afterwards. Both my parents are okay with regular anesthesia so I shouldn't have to worry about that. I still do though because what if that skips a generation and next thing I know I wake up a long time later. What if I wake up alone in the hospital or surgical center.

Another thing is I just learned that Ehlers Danlos Syndrome runs on the paternal side of my family. My grandpa had it my uncle and his daughters have it and my father has it.

For those who are unsure what this is. Here is what Google says in simple terms is this:

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is a group of genetic disorders that affect the connective tissues. Connective tissues are proteins, such as collagen, that provide elasticity and support to the joints, blood vessels, and skin. Most children with EDS have hypermobile joints that are prone to full or partial dislocation.

So this could be an explanation as to why a fall could leave me hurt a month later. If I have this I don't have a severe case of it because I would have been hurt a lot worse a lot sooner in my life.

So you know a lot of stuff happened this week/month. Hopefully I'll get some answers on Tuesday and get this all figured out. Also I will make the doctors aware of what happened to my grandma under general anesthesia and that Ehlers Danlos Syndrome runs in my family.

~Chubby Cute Girl