#it won’t be long til i’m obsessed

[goldenhypen]

sooo,,,, anybody here like tws? :D

[bunny-lily]

Satoru, who...

Did you ask for more fluff? I did, ehe~

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

CW: pure fluff, just fluff, no angst, only happiness | proposal, marriage, pregnancy, husband!Gojo, dad!Gojo, soft!Gojo, categorically fucking whipped Satoru, domesticity, kinda slice-of-life, mildly suggestive at the end

The starstruck boy, Gojo Satoru, who is utterly obsessed with you in every way possible.

AN: while I’m in the middle of writing an absurdly long fic, I wanted to post some shorter stuff to 1) keep my hands loose and brain active/busy, and 2) post something while I’m working on the fic to come. I won’t post much about it rn because I want to actually finish it first and not make any promises, so enjoy a lil fluff in the meantime <3 just something short and sweet

WC: 3k

Satoru, who is smitten with you from the very moment he first lays eyes on you. Sure, he's had infatuations before, but they were short-lived and typically lasted no longer than a week. A quick fascination, then poof. You, on the other hand – you are different.

And it is plain to see for pretty much everyone. He is normally cocky and outgoing, even during the little fads he’s had, he never let down his façade of bravado. You, though? You melt all his walls until he’s a goopy puddle of a blushing, giggling school girl.

He is whipped, almost to an annoying point. He rambles off Suguru's and Shoko's ears enough times for them to know when he’s about to start singing your praises and avoid him, or distract him somehow (which is a monumental task when his ditzy head is full only of thoughts of you).

Even so, they are conflictingly bewildered and happy for their friend. For him to have found someone that he is interested in for longer than a week – let alone several months, now – is a riveting change of pace. He seems so genuinely delighted any time you two interact, bubbly, dreamy sighs leaving him as hearts dance in his eyes.

He has fallen for you bad.

Satoru, who’s a stuttering disaster when he tries to ask you out on a date, and damn near collapses in relief when you’re able to decipher what the hell he’s going on about and agree to go to the new café that opened up near campus with him.

One date turns into two, then three, then a dozen more that become routine for you. You meet up after classes let out, then head to the café side by side. Or, if one is running late, you have each other’s orders memorized. You even go the extra mile and order him a sweet he hasn’t tried yet to surprise him with when he bursts into the establishment, panting like he ran a marathon. He might as well have, he booked it for the café as soon as he was free, dying to see you.

Satoru, who is somehow in even more shambles when he gets the nerve to ask you to go steady with him, despite the two of you being borderline boyfriend and girlfriend by now. He’s jittery, sweaty, downright vibrating with tense energy when he brings you to the sakura tree near the back of school that you two had laid claim on. Oh, and when you say yes? He’s certain he’s died and gone to heaven. Nothing can explain how an angel like you decided to grace him with your existence as is, let alone love him – even while you called him an idiot and said you thought you two were already dating.

Satoru, who was already protective over you when you first met, dials it to eleven after you agree to being his girlfriend. Gojo Satoru, the strongest man alive, could inspire fear and respect simply by being in the room with his confident and brash nature, completely relaxed and faithful in his skill. But if, gods forbid, something happens to you? Gone is that cocksure attitude. Gone are the coy smirks and passive-aggressive taunting meant to rile others up. Gone is everything but his one track mind that focuses solely on two tasks: protecting you, and destroying whatever harmed you.

Satoru, who spoons you to his chest and watches ASMR, random videos, or movies on your phone with you 'til you both fall asleep. It became routine shortly after you began officially dating. You'll climb into bed first and decide what you want to watch while he finishes his nightly regimen, then he'll slip under the blankets and pull your back flush against his front, prop his chin atop your head, slide a thigh between your legs, and off to cozy dreamland you two go as whatever you choose acts as white noise. 

It brings him an immense amount of comfort, and though he doesn't need as much sleep as normal folks, he'll refuse to leave bed until you're awake (with the exception of any needs he might have to take care of that will only see him away for a couple minutes at most before he’s cradling you in his protective hold again).

Satoru, who salts and peppers your face with endless, ticklish kisses to wake you up, saving the best kiss for when your sleepy, pretty little eyes open: right on your lips. He always wakes up before you do, and spends hours watching your blissful, precious face as you snooze, content and relaxed like a cat with full trust in its human. The comparison always makes him smile, because he, truthfully, envisions you both as being cats all the time. Lazy ones that cuddle in the sun, your smaller form using his ridiculously fluffy and larger one as a pillow-slash-blanket. His tail twined with yours, your ears twitching as he grooms you with kitten licks, ah, the dream.

Satoru, who wants to slap a ring on your finger the very moment he can. You two spend so many days and weeks raving about your imaginary wedding that he so desperately wants to be real, setting up plans, picking out what you would want for decor, scrolling through forum boards for ideas on a wedding dress for you. He is practically more excited at the prospect of getting married than you are, eager to help in every step of the process and more. 'Let me handle all the hard stuff, baby,' he nearly begs. 

He won’t tell you the cost of anything, and insists you go all out. Get the dress you want, don't you dare look at the price tag. Choose the perfect venue, he doesn't care if it's in Japan or fucking Dubai, he'll handle paying for everyone's travel and hotel needs on top of the whole wedding. Only the absolute best for you, nothing less, everything more.

Satoru, who is a train wreck of nervous excitement, anxious anticipation, and giddy trepidation when the day comes for him to propose. He takes you to the perfect location – up a short and easy hiking trail that leads to a cliffside with the most magnificent view of the ocean and setting sun. You think it's just a sweet date trip, until you see the path of tea candles guiding you to a romantically set up picnic blanket, a basket resting atop it, waiting to be opened.

When you turn around to express your shock and confusion, you find Satoru on one knee, looking up at you as if you are the most gorgeous and divine creature to ever exist. He's confident and boisterous, as always, as he plays out his little speech about how much he adores you and wants to keep you by his side, forever and ever, but he's a shaking trash fire inside. A shivering little dog that's relieved he didn't stutter or screw up the speech he practiced a hundred times over and then some.

Satoru, who's thanking every god to ever possibly reside above (and even below) when you throw your arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder as a flood of yeses pours out of you, slurred as you ramble through your tears and tell him you love him, how happy you are, and a plethora of other things that make him genuinely the most elated person to ever live.

Satoru, who slides the brilliant engagement ring he had custom made for you onto your finger; smooth, with an inset blue diamond that shares the same shade as his eyes, nestled in with a dozen tinier crystals in vine-like spirals flowing outward from the center. Swarovski, of course. He made sure that it was all flush with the platinum to ensure it wouldn't snag on anything. 

He was practically breathing down the jeweler's neck during the entire process, needing to guarantee it’s positively perfect for you. And, when he sees the glimmering jewelry cozy on your finger, the evidence of your bond and the next step in your journey to unite as one, he knows he made all the right choices.

Satoru, who only uses the finest material for your matching wedding bands, and has the insides of both engraved with each other's names. Yours in his, his in yours. He has the same jeweler as before (poor guy) design them to have two stripes of platinum within the gold of your rings, delicate and stunning for himself and his wife.

Satoru, who's jubilant and so incredibly ecstatic that you're now his wife that he can't help but tell everyone he knows, everyday, multiple times a day, even those that were at the wedding. He just can't get over it. You're his wife, the girl he's been crushing on since highschool, the girl he swore to make his, and to devote himself to. It feels like an incredible dream, and he worriedly pinches himself from time to time to make sure it's real. 

He did it. He married you, and now you carry his name in yours, in your wedding band, everywhere he could put it to subtly (not really) show you off as the unquestionably precious treasure you are, his wife, and how overjoyed he is that he managed to catch you and keep you.

Satoru, who forgets how to function when you hold up a pair of white and pink sticks on his birthday, from different brands, both showing positive symbols. You. You're pregnant. With his baby. He swears his brain short-circuits because one minute, he's staring at you like you'd grown a second head, and the next, he has you wrapped up in his arms as he showers your forehead, cheeks, nose, jaw, lips, neck, ears, anywhere he can reach, with kisses.

He's a babbling, sniffly mess as he practically crushes you to his chest and coos and preens and weeps with elation. He reveres you like a deity and he’s your loyal and pathetic servant who was blessed beyond measure that you decided to give him the gift of life. He's going to be a father, and it's all because of you.

Satoru, who completely spoils the living hell out of you during your pregnancy (as if he hadn't already been), bending backwards for you for everything. Weird cravings? He's on it. Swollen ankles and nausea? He's rushing to the store for medicine, then rubbing your feet to ease the ache. Insatiable horniness? He's your slave for you to use for your pleasure. Hormones swinging wildly back and forth? He's there with a box of tissues and his firm chest for you to beat on when you feel like you're going crazy. It's his fault you're pregnant, after all. You're doing the hard work of not just carrying his child, but of nurturing it, growing it, letting it take from you to develop strong and healthy. Of course he's going to take care of you.

Satoru, who refuses to let you do any work. You're on indefinite parental leave. From the moment you show him those positive tests, he sits your pretty ass down on the couch and tells you firmly that your only job now is to help your baby develop. He'll take care of everything else, don't even think about lifting a finger.

Satoru, who's there at every appointment with you, clutching your hand tightly as you talk to your doctor about everything you need to know. And when you have your first ultrasound, and see your fetus together for the very first time, he's crying right alongside you.

Satoru, who spent meticulous hours packing a duffel bag with everything you'll both need for when it comes time for you to go into labor. Spare changes of clothes, plenty of water, blankets to keep you warm, a couple pillows, anything and everything. He refuses to go in unprepared. As soon as it's all packed and ready to go by the 8 month mark of your pregnancy, it's in the backseat of the car. The baby car seat is in the trunk of the sleek and top-of-the-line SUV he purchased specifically for your soon-to-be family. He doesn't care that it's taking up space, or that it’s too early, he refuses to go in unprepared.

Satoru, who immediately ditches work the very instant your water breaks. Who gives a fuck if he's in the middle of something important, nothing takes precedence over you and the incoming birth of your infant. He's breaking several driving laws to get you to the hospital, but neither of you care. Not when you're panting in the passenger seat, white-knuckling the grab handle with a palm pressed to your stomach, grunting and crying out in pain any time you have a contraction. It's a miracle he doesn't get pulled over, and he's incredibly thankful (and proud of himself) for thinking of calling the hospital ahead of time so that they're ready for you.

Satoru, whose entire world becomes a blur from the second you reach the hospital, to the second you're crushing his hand in your grip, screaming as you fight to bring his baby into the world. He's letting you yell at him and blame him for the pain you're in, easily accepting and agreeing because it is his fault. 

But while your shaking sobs and shrieks of agony wound his heart beyond any possible measure, he also can't help his elation at knowing it's time, all the waiting has been worth it, every minute spent catering to your every need, want, and desire. He'll do it indefinitely, wait on you hand and foot for the rest of his life, treat you like a queen, because you deserve it and so much more.

Satoru, who's shocked by how well he's holding up when the nurse puts the wrapped up, pudgy little newborn in his arms, gazing down at the tiny being. His tiny being, your tiny being, the fragile and priceless life you both created. Looking down at his kin, his reason for being, he knows he'd do anything and everything to protect you and your child.

Satoru, who sees you, a disheveled and tired disaster, with your hair all tangled, frizzy, and astray, strands stuck to your sweaty skin, your body slack in relief as the hardest part is finally over, watching your husband hold your baby, and he thinks you're more beautiful now than you've ever been. 

You look like you’ve been dragged through hell; your legs are sticky with residue blood, amniotic fluid, placenta, and whatever else that needs to be cleaned off (though your legs are covered with a few layers of blankets to keep you toasty warm while you recover from labor), your face is a little pale and sallow, you're barely clinging to consciousness, and he's marveling at how he's never seen anything or anyone as utterly blest and sacred as you. 

A goddess amongst men, the only one the strongest man in the world would ever willingly bow down to without you even needing to ask.

Satoru, who helps place your baby on your chest, the nurse having opened the blanket for skin-to-skin contact as you feed it, and finally lets himself release all his pent up emotions of raw, unfiltered joy. Every cell, every fiber, every atom in him is dancing in overwhelming happiness. He'd do it all over, again and again, as many times as you'd let him, if it means he gets to see you this blissful and tranquil. The glow of maternity suits you like no other, even in all your unkempt and chaotic glory. 

Satoru, who can't believe he's a dad. He goes above and beyond, insisting he takes care of the baby at night so you can sleep – he doesn't need as much rest as others do, after all. He murmurs to his newborn about how much he cherishes and adores you, how much you mean to him, how you're the best wife and mommy a man could ever ask for and more. He reads the kiddo bedtime stories to help it sleep, feeds it, changes it, whatever it is that is needed, he's there and doing it. 

On top of that, he continues to be your doting, devoted, caring husband. He makes sure you're taking your vitamins, takes you to all your postpartum appointments, aids you through your subsequent depression, all of it. He's sworn himself to you for life, not just in this timeline and universe, but in any and every single one of them.

He made and said his vows with purpose and conviction. He meant every word, and upholds them like his life depends on it. Because, in his mind, it does.

Satoru, who is patient with you, and firmly commands you to not push yourself to do things you can't do while you're still in recovery. He doesn't care if he has to wait months or even years for you to be ready to lay with him again, he'll wait it out. He might not be a patient man, but for you, he'd wait until all the stars die. 

Oh, but you, darling little minx that you are, do your best to take care of him, too. Even when he urges you to rest, or not worry about it, or anything other arguments he might have against it, you tend to him in whatever way you can. Touching, sucking, rough and heavy petting, whatever it takes. You refuse to leave him alone to suffer through months and months of dryness with no relief save for his hand and the toy you surprised him with to help take the edge off.

Satoru, who can't be more grateful to you. You're more than his wildest dreams, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect person as a whole in the entirety of the universe. He really can't help boasting about being the Chosen One, because he really is, if the cosmos decided to gift him with you.

Satoru, who swears to take care of you for the rest of your lives, and does well on his promise.

Satoru, who fights for the sake of you and your kin alone. He refuses to leave you in any way, shape, or form. He refuses to let the world be a danger to any of you. He refuses to have anything happen to his family. Nothing will tear you apart, not now, not ever.

Satoru, who loves you more than the sun, the moon, and all the stars combined.

—-—-•(-•ʚɞ•-)•—-—-

Banner by cafekitsune ♥ thank you for reading

[dark-frosted-heart]

From a Mean Lie, Love Begins - Roger Barel

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. Secondhand embarrassment ahead.

After finishing dinner, I had some free time and so I decided to help Roger with his research.

As I descended the stairs leading to the basement like usual, I heard two people talking and stopped in my tracks.

(Roger and…Harrison?)

Their expressions were so serious that I couldn’t find the right time to call out to them.

Harrison: …In such a bad shape?

Roger: Yeah. Heard from experts that it can’t be returned to its original state. Spine’s so wrecked and can’t stand without support.

Harrison: So caught up in research that you can’t even take care of yourself. What a laugh. …Could’ve done something about it if it was caught sooner.

(What does he mean…? Roger, are you in such a bad state that you can’t stand…?)

He looked fine last night while happily drinking.

(But…there are some illnesses out there that are invisible)

(Was he self-destructing by drinking so much because he couldn’t save himself…?)

Roger: Well, I’ll see what I can do for now. I got a reputation of not being a quitter. Just gotta hang in there ‘til the end. If you can’t…then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.

As I secretly peeped at them, I saw Roger give a weak smile.

(Roger’s body really is wrecked…)

(He couldn’t have been lying if Harrison’s there…)

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything and quietly left before they could notice.

–

(I wasn’t aware that Roger’s condition was that bad…)

(But now that I know…I can change my behavior)

(Tomorrow, I’ll do my best to support Roger so that he doesn’t suffer)

The day after learning about Roger’s condition, I secretly made a decision. I’ll immediately start helping him out.

–

Kate: Here, Roger. Open your mouth please.

After cutting the meat on the plate into bite-sized pieces, I held it up to Roger’s mouth.

Roger: …? I can eat by myself, lil’ lady.

Kate: Please don’t overwork yourself! I’ll be supporting you throughout your life! 

Roger: The hell’s gotten into you?

Roger tried to stand up with a puzzled look on his face, and I rushed to stop him.

Kate: Ah, please don’t force yourself to stand!

Roger: I just wanna get a drink…

Kate: I’ll get it for you!

I stood up instead and got Roger a glass of water.

Kate: Here you go Roger.

Roger: Thanks…

Alfons: Good grief…Stop worrying about that muscle-headed, research-obsessed idiot and feed me, little robin?

Kate: …You’re feeling fine, aren’t you Alfons? You don’t need help, do you?

Alfons: I’m certainly feeling rather energized this morning, however…

With the way you’re speaking…You make it sound as if Roger’s not well.

Kate: …

I became depressed as I thought back to yesterday’s conversation.

Roger: …Lil’ lady?

Kate: I heard it yesterday. The conversation between you and Harrison… That your body was so wrecked that you couldn’t stand…!

Roger: Hm? That’s…

Alfons: Oh? I knew you wouldn’t live long but is it finally time to kick the bucket?

Roger: …

At the question, Roger exchanged glances with Harrison and then let out a sigh.

Roger: …Everyone’s gonna wind up six feet under eventually. It just depends on when.

(If you’re not denying it, then it’s true…?)

Kate: Please don’t talk about giving up like that…! I may not understand your condition, but I’ll be supporting you from today onward!

Roger: That’s helpful. Well I got some research I’d like you to help me with now…

Kate: Please leave it to me!

–

I was helping Roger out with his research like he’d asked and it was approaching midnight.

Roger: It’s getting late. Why don’t you get back to your room, lil’ lady?

Kate: What about you?

Roger: …I’ll get some rest too.

Kate: Liar. You’re going to keep working, aren’t you?

When I glared at Roger for that impromptu lie, he just shrugged.

Roger: …I got some interesting data so I wanna work on it for a bit longer.

Kate: It’s not like the data’s going anywhere tomorrow and the numbers won’t change. Take it easy and look after yourself.

I forced Roger out of his chair and onto an infirmary bed.

Roger: Are you planning on helping me not just today, but the next day onward too?

Kate: Yes. I’m worried about your health so that’s my intention.

Roger: Heh, your thoughts never fail to surprise me. You’d agree to anything I’d ask you right now, wouldn’t you?

Kate: Is there anything else you want me to do?!

Roger asked me to help with his research today, but…that’s just an extension of how I usually help him.

(If I could do anything for Roger since he’s not physically well…I’d do it)

Roger: Yeah…How about this. Kiss me. Roger grabbed my hand as he sat up in bed.

(Why a kiss…ah)

(If you don’t feel well, then you’ll feel even more lonely or hopeless…)

No doubt the kiss wouldn’t have any special feeling behind it…rather, it’d  just be some physical contact to fill the loneliness.

(Roger’s selfishly kissed me numerous times before)

(No point in rejecting him at this point)

(More importantly, I’d like to help Roger when I can…)

Because I’m standing, I don’t have to go on my tiptoes to kiss him today.

To keep it from getting in the way,I tucked my hair behind my ear with the hand not being held by Roger.

Kate: Nn…

I gave Roger a light peck.

Though it was just a brief, I filled Roger’s heart with all the compassion I could muster.

Roger: Ha…it’s still not enough.

Roger tugged hard on the hand he was holding.

Kate: …Oof

Roger was pushed down onto the bed as he pulled me toward him.

Kate: A-are you alright?! Does it hurt anywhere?

Roger: Nothing hurts so just leave it. That aside, do it again.

Kate: …

At his begging, I pushed Roger down and kissed him again.

This time, his hand went up to the back of my head to keep me from pulling away too soon.

Kate: Nn…haaa…

Roger’s tongue slid into my mouth and tangled with mine.

Breathtaking kisses were something Roger had shown me.

(I don’t know how many more kisses like this I’ll get…)

The thought of it made my heart ache…I continued to kiss Roger to make him happy.

Roger: …You’d really do anything, wouldn’t you?

Roger mumbled as our lips parted.

Roger: Do you do this with anyone you know is weak…?

(I tried to imagine it but…it’d be difficult to do this with anyone but Roger)

(Roger’s touched me before, so it’s a different set of obstacles from others…I think)

Kate: I think it’s normal to want to do things for someone who’s suffering.

Roger: …If that’s the case, then I can’t just go quietly.

Kate: …Huh?

Roger: Who’ll take care of Crown when I’m gone? They could call in a doctor from the outside, but it’d be hard to respond at my speed. And if that does happen, you’d have a lot of weak men lying around you. Don’t wanna put you in a situation where you’d be compassionate toward weak men besides me.

(Are you saying this to protect me…? But…)

Kate: But even if you say that, your body’s already…

Roger: Ah…Think it’s time I cleared up this misunderstanding.

Kate: Misunderstanding…?

Roger: That conversation you heard between Harrison and me was actually about—

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: …?

Harrison: What’s up?

Roger: Nothing, just heard the lil’ lady’s footsteps…But she turned back.

Harrison: She probably read the air when she saw how serious we looked.

Roger: We weren’t talking about anything important so she could’ve just come in.

Harrison: Not important…Roger, do you really understand the value of this book? It’s a book signed by Edgar Allan Poe and it got ruined by chemicals…! The spine’s falling apart and the chemical’s made the text fade so much it’s unreadable. It couldn’t even stand on its own when I put it on a bookshelf…

Roger: It was a gift, but I got so caught up in my research that I got careless.

Harrison: *sigh*...This is why people only interested in research are nothing but trouble.

~~ End flashback ~~

Roger: So…It wasn’t me that got wrecked but a book.

Kate: Really…?

Roger: Yeah, really. As you can see, I’m healthy as a horse. Sorry for playing around with you without clearing it up right away. Thought it’d be a good excuse to get you to help with some research. I’ll take all your complaints.

Kate: Y-you’re the worst!!

With a singular curse, I ran out and to my room.

After closing the door, I collapsed on the spot.

Kate: That’s a relief… At least Roger isn’t dying…!

Feeling relieved, uncontrollable feelings spilled out in the form of tears.

I ran from Roger because I didn’t want him to see me cry. 

Roger’s voice: …Lil’ lady.

Roger’s voice could be heard from out in the hallway.

Kate: W-what is it? I’m mad at you right now…!

Roger’s voice: I wanna apologize, so open the door.

Kate: Don’t want to…

Roger’s voice: That so. …With the lie I told, I don’t blame you.

I thought Roger would give up once I refused him, but he showed no signs of leaving.

Kate: Um…You’re not going back to your room?

Roger: I’m gonna wait ‘til you open the door for me.

(If you say that, then i have no choice but to open the door…)

I wiped my eyes and opened the door.

Roger: …

Kate: D-did you by chance…hear anything when I came back to my room?

Roger’s curse gave him supernatural hearing.

“At least Roger isn’t dying…”

If he heard me say that as I cried, then my angry act would be all for nothing.

Roger: No? Didn’t hear anything. Anyway, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let that misunderstanding about my life go that far.

Kate: … …You said you lied to get me to help you. So why the kiss?

Roger: You were worrying so much over taking care of me that it was endearing. I wanted to dote on you.

Kate: That wasn’t doting?! I’d call that making things difficult for me!

Roger: Really? I always thought you enjoyed the kisses. If I got the wrong idea then sorry. Let’s try again to be sure.

Kate: Why are you always taking things in that direction!  Do you even actually feel sorry at all?

Roger: I think so…Sorry.

Roger’s sudden, touching apology distracted me from my anger.

Roger: I won’t lie to you anymore. If me living longer makes you happy, then I’ll do just that.

Kate: I-I knew it. You did hear what I said when I got back to my room!

Roger: Whoops, that’s right. I didn’t hear a thing.

Kate: If you’re going to lie, then go through with it…!

Roger: Pfft…Haha.

Kate: …What are you laughing at?

Roger: Though I love how you look when you cry, I think I also love the way you yell with so much energy. Sorry for worrying you the whole day.

Roger roughly patted my head.

As I begrudgingly looked up at him, I realized that my heart was racing again.

(Roger already heard me say that I was relieved that he wasn’t going to die, but…)

(...I hope he doesn’t notice the sound of my heart racing as he pats my head)

[curiositymemes]

STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been? 

you settled down?

you feelin’ right? 

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean? 

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die. 

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim. 

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose. 

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad. 

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it. 

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes. 

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep. 

i’ll love you when the oceans dry. 

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs. 

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it. 

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours. 

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit. 

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone. 

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back. 

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive. 

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind. 

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt. 

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end. 

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’. 

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation. 

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing. 

i would leave if only i could find a reason. 

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them. 

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been. 

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick. 

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it. 

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you. 

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended). 

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth. 

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me. 

i’m angry again. 

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two. 

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there. 

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright? 

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown. 

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out. 

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i’ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far. 

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love. 

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.

[elvisalltheway101]

————Little Green Apples————

•-• A Someday We’ll Be Together Segment•-• Summary: Just another drabble from “Someday We’ll Be Together.”As thoughts continue to swarm in his head about you. He starts to question his feelings, lying in bed as he sorts his mind.

author’s note: this is all to @jhoneybees, for literaly everything that the chapter got to offer. It goes on the appearance pic (idk what they’re called BUT ITS LITERALLY SOO CUTE. ADORABLE. But ahem, remaining professional, she also introduced me to this darling song. It’s so soft and sweet, and just. AH! I cannot 🫠🫠. So all thank you, thanks, appreciation, go to @jhoneybees!!!!!!

author won’t zip it: I’m literally obsessed with this song. I was listening to this ish while writing this! AHHHHH. But ahem, I’ll be putting out requests after this bit that have been biting dust 🤗

•••••••••••••••••••

Nothing can help. And nothing will.

As Elvis tosses and turns in his stiff, cool white sheets, the blanket riding down to his waist, he just can’t fall asleep. Not with all these thoughts that are just flooding and seeping into his head.

It’s ever since that date. He groans and thinks to himself, running his hands over his face. With his mama working out late til morning, no one’s there to comfort him. Especially not you. He can’t go over at this time of the night, also since the issue is about his thoughts of you.

He flutters his eyes close and crosses his arms of his chest. “Maybe if I just let mah thoughts run, the mind motor will eventually stop, get tired and lemme sleep.” He speaks out loud to himself and nods with a satisfied hum. “Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

He lets his mind run and wander. It’s only you.

A whole flash of his imagination sparks into action. Thinking of you on a Sunday at church in a gorgeous white dress, a lacy veil a front of your face that’s nearly see-through. As you and him both stand in front of the beautiful alter, interlocking hands and nodding with grace and confident love. “I do.” Are the only words that ring through his head, and makes his mind hazy in love.

He smiles to himself, maybe letting his mind just think was a good idea. It seems to be relaxing, as he pulls his scruffy, thick blanket to his chin.

It’s you, carrying a darling child that’s bundled in layers of fabric, in your arms. He caresses you into his longing embrace, and looks ahead. Tucking his chin over your shoulder and glancing down at the child you and him have made, nourished and brought into this world. Pressing the tip of his nose to the crook of your neck, inhaling the floral, sweet scent of freshly cut, and juicy green apples.

Little Green Apples.

This was your favorite perfume now, he remembers vividly. In his imagination of the moment, he runs his hand along the immaculate stretch marks that has stretched across your stomach, love handles, and thighs. It’s all from the wonderful, brave birth of your child. He can just hear your sweet giggles and hums as he peppers kisses all over your tummy.

Oh, why did this just have to be his imagination? Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older and we didn’t have to wait so long? He frowns but his eyelids flutter drowsily.

His feelings of slight frustration subsides when he suddenly thinks of going through the door of the place you and him both call home. His cheeks gruffy and covered with oil grease and filth from the works of his plumbing job. Looking everywhere with wooden toy blocks across the floors, scribbles of the children’s art drawn along the wall and he giggled to himself. Only to be met with the comforting sight of you, all round and swollen with another joy inside of your womb, and your arms busy with carrying the two children that you’ve both brought to this earth.

Your tired but delighted eyes, smiling up at him, setting the two offspring duplicates of their parents, and your small, loving arms wrapping around him. He’s completely intoxicated with the sweet smell of your perfume. The perfume that he’s watched you apply all these years. From getting ready to go to parties while babbling to him about whatever gossip, to the day he brought you to the lake around on the first date, and now to here in this imagination.

Little Green Apples.

He nods. Answering and repeating the name of your favorite brand of perfume to himself softly, before drifting off to dream land. Laying cozily on his pillow, and now restful.

“Little Green Apples.”

••••••••••••••

author’s note: I hope you’ve enjoyed this! Especially hunny doll, @jhoneybees. This’ll be the last of the “Someday We’ll Be Together,” segments unless ppl ask for more than sure! But anyway, mwah, mwah dears!

[anchoeritic]

agh i cant stop obsessively checking your blog to see if you have a new dbf!joel drabble up i’m obsessed with your writing and him!

and i just totally feel like that man loves eating pussy, like sometimes edging you so hard and for so long that you’re sweating and crying, and someone could walk in at any moment, but he’s just feasting like there’s no tomorrow……….. anyway

he’s a munch ‘til the day he dies (lol). he would die in the pussy. i said what i said. his tongue does not fucking play when it comes to pleasuring you. honestly, sometimes, you’d prefer it over fucking him. letting him feast, lap up at all your juices and flick the tip of his tongue against your sensitive clit. doing that two finger, tongue combo and watching as your eyes roll all the way to the back of your skull, and he’s just smiling against your pussy.

when you’re being a brat, he won’t hesitate to remind you where you stand compared to him. you want to act bratty? he’ll treat you like one. it can go from edging, to mocking your stupid cries for his fingers, or begging for him to let you finish, sometimes all of the above. he’ll tongue fuck you ‘til he feels like you’ve learned your lesson and he’ll finish you off by overstimulating the shit out of you. like i said before, you want to act like a brat? you want to cum? he’ll let you cum as many times as he wants.

[tanith-rhea]

hi!! first i wanted to say that i love your writing soooo much you're really amazing

so i was thinking if you could make larissa x femreader where reader is tired and really overwhelmed with her job and feeling a little insecure, then larissa gives support and tell all the things she loves about reader, just really fluffly! thank you sooo much

You are amazing, my love

Hello, darling! Sorry for the wait, I’m trying to keep from overworking myself bc of burnout, but I loved writing this one and I genuinely hope you like it too. Thank you very much for your words and your patience.

In this one reader is a teacher at Nevermore, helping organize the Rave’N while mediating the writing club discussions at their meetings and covering for a pregnant teacher for some time. They feel exhausted but won’t talk to anyone about it until Larissa catches them ugly crying in their classroom. Comfort ensues.

Word count: <1k

Everything was fine. Really, you could do it. The Rave'N was at the next weekend, the writing club had two meetings until then to discuss the portrayal of obsession in dark academia culture and come up with a short story exemplifying their points, and you had three extra periods a day to supervise math class while Desdemona was on maternity leave.

You could do it! And you would.

That was until you couldn't anymore and suddenly you had three more days to go til the Rave'N and you hadn't graded the last projects your students turned in, or wrote your semiannual review, or compiled your student's results to show Larissa, or bought a dress.

You had thirty minutes until seven; maybe you could lean on the desk and rest a bit. But you didn't lean on it. Instead, you turned into a ball in your uncomfortable chair, hugging your knees and trying with all you had not to panic, or worse, cry. You were in your classroom, chances were that someone could listen.

In the end, you didn't have much of a choice, really. The tension had to go somewhere because your body physically could not handle it anymore. Your cry wasn't elegant, you had no capacity of being graceful about it; not when you bottled it up for so long, as you usually did. You were loud and ugly, and your sobs could probably be heard from the corridor, but now it started you weren't able to stop. You thought you would probably not be done by the time you had to leave for dinner.

After a few minutes, maybe fifteen or twenty, someone knocked at the door. You choked and coughed trying to stop before they'd enter, cleaning the tears and water licking from your nose in the sleeves of your burgundy jumper.

"Dear? Is everything alright?" it was Larissa, her soft, concerned voice filling the poorly lit room.

You didn't respond, worried your voice would betray you, but the silence didn't help much as well.

Larissa walked up to your desk and saw your reddened puffy face, your hair could not be looking good as well and you just wanted to disappear.

"I don't think I'll be able to turn in the test results until Monday," you said in a flat tone, not emotionally capable of conveying anything in your speech.

"Oh, my love, what happened?" she completely ignored your comment and went to hug you in the chair.

You were still gripping your legs to your chest, but she covered you anyway, her mouth resting atop your head while she breathed you in. You felt pathetic for the peace it brought you.

She didn't ask anything more for a while, simply rubbing your back and kissing your hair and forehead. When you felt sedated enough not to cry again, you spoke.

"I think I took on too much"

"Really? Do you think that?" she asked with good humour, but it wasn't insensitive, she sounded exasperatingly caring.

"I just really love the kids in the writing club, and I couldn't let Des down…" you buried your face in her chest, letting your legs fall "And we had discussed the Rave'N at the beginning of the term, I didn't want to disappoint you."

She laughed softly, kneeling beside you to look at your face.

"You would not disappoint me for taking care of yourself. I shouldn't have let you continue with all the things you were doing"

"I just wanted to be good" you averted your gaze towards your hands in your lap, toying with your fingers for something to do.

"I think you are amazing just for trying," Larissa's hands came to rest atop yours, urging you to calm "And the fact that you failed is inconsequential. You did wonderfully at everything and you did it alone, but now it's time for some help. I'll ask Vlad to cover for Desdemona and the Titania Hall girls to help with the Rave'N's decorations. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good…" you dipped timidly without looking at her.

"Then it's done, my sweet little doll" she reached for your face to kiss you chastely "Now how about we eat dinner in my room?"

You only nodded, brushing your noses together. She was so close you couldn't help but feel safe. Then she stood up, holding your hands to encourage you up with her, and you left quietly.

[rottencaniness]

nine people you want to know better tag game

tagged by @spnyuri thank you lovely <3

Last Song: She Thinks of Me by Landon Tewers — I’m a slut what can I say

Favorite Color: pink & black & red

Last Movie/TV Show: You — I just started today, I’m on ep3 and I’m already mentally unwell over this show

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: savory — I’m a lil bitch when it comes to spicy & stuff that’s too sweet makes my teeth hurt

Relationship Status: I have a platonic boyfriend <3

Last Thing I Googled: ‘how long is a flight to London’ — I google like it won’t be years til I’m able to travel anywhere :/

Current Obsession: spn ofc, heartbreak high & reading rlly angst fanfic if that counts — my ao3 history is just angst upon angst and some violence

Last Book: her body and other parties by Carmen Maria Machado

Looking Forward To: hopefully getting time to write soon and maybeeee finishing some wips so I can actually post something

tagging: @t4tvampirisms , @hellhoundlair , @samwinchesterpregnant , @archangelsammy , @corpsecas , @wastemanjohn , @mochatheangelkiller @twochildreninamoteldemo , @lord-angelfish — ofc no pressure at all!

[izzyliker]

edizzy is like. i love you. i hate you. you’re the only person stopping me from killing myself. i need you. i want you gone. kill me. where are you? i want to show you something nice. we’re the same person. we’ve not understood each other for a long time now. if you kill me it counts as suicide. will you kill me and then yourself? you are an extension of me. hurting you is like second nature. you hurting me is like second nature. your last name is hands, you were made to act in place of my hands. will you do just this one thing for me. of course you will. we always bounce back. what’s the point of saying anything out loud? you always understand. if we don’t talk about things we don’t have to realize we never understand each other. there is nothing else as enduring. of course you love me. of course i love you. will you kill me? it’s like asking my own hand to hold the gun. i can’t get you to hate me. i made you hate me and i don’t think i like it. you’re not a separate person to me. you’re the only person who can stand me. we don’t speak out loud. i tell myself we don’t need to. you try to talk about it and i won’t let you. i hate myself. i take it out on you. come on iz, take your boot off. we’re the same person. does it hurt? you should know better. you know i always hurt myself. run away from me. don’t leave me. pick up the gun. you know you want to. i try so hard to love you right. i don’t believe you love me. of course you love me. can’t you love me enough to kill me? i’m scared. why’d you have to say it out loud? does your foot hurt? i hope it does. don’t ever fucking disrespect me again. will you kill me? do you hurt enough? what do i have to do? how much? how indestructible is this love? is it love? our love is a cockroach spinning inside the vacuum cleaner, alive and pissed as all fuck. uncrushable. i should’ve stepped on it with my whole weight when the exoskeleton was still soft. is it love? we’re obsessed with each other. every day we poison each other but we’ve become immune to it. i drip feed you cyanide but you won’t die. you stab me in the heart and i don’t stumble. izzy, izzy, izzy. now that you’re gone i have to kill myself without your help. did you consider that? did you think about that? i wanted to die clean. blood splatter on the wall, the floor, the stairs. secret room. how long til they came looking. how long for us two together in this tomb. would you have been able to crawl over to me. i like not knowing. i wish you would’ve done that for me. i wish i didn’t have to hear you die. plausible deniability. i wish you hated me. all i do is love you. all i do is hate myself. we’re the same person. i hate you. i hope it didn’t hurt. i hope it doesn’t hurt. i hope you miss me.

[ureternalmajesty]

TF141+Alejandro,&Rudy Eating out fem!reader

Pure filth 18+ below the cut 🩷

Captain John Price (Daddy)

Could stay between your legs for hours

Loves the way your hips buck up only for him to wrap his arms around you to hold you still

Won’t stop until he’s had his fill

Legs spread your moans filled the room as John was sat between your legs happily eating your pussy out. “Taste so good.” He groans grinding onto the mattress. Your hips buck as his tongue flicked over your clit.

“Fuck John.” Your hand came down tugging at his hair as your back arched off the bed feet digging into his back. Arms wrapping around your stomach and a hand pushing your chest back down onto the bed as he peek at you from his place between you legs. “Atta girl.”

Sargent Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

FERAL

Will eat you out anywhere if he could

Loves watching your legs give as he eats you out

“Johnny can’t you wait til we go home?” You asked as he pushed you against the wall dropping to his knees sliding your pants to the side as he licked a stripe between your folds. “Can’t wait need you on my tongue now.” He had you leg over his shoulder as you leaned abasing the wall in the alley outside of the bar that you both were supposed to have drinks with the others.

The pleasure from his mouth alone made you weak but what made your other leg give out almost toppling over Johnny was when he push his fingers inside you with no warning as he practically ate you out like he was starving. Johnny was on a mission.

Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley

Man loves your thighs

Loves what’s between your thighs even more

Slaps your pussy just to watch you squirm and buck into his hand

Soap is feral but Simon is another story. This man is obsessed with you and being between your thighs. Especially after you seeing you on his bed legs spread for him.

The sound of his hand meeting your wet pussy was his entertain. “Such a pretty cunt.” He mumbled running his tongue between your folds rubbing circles on your clit. Your moans and his groans filled the room back arching off the bed. “Cum for me baby, please cum on my tongue baby.” Mans was pussy drunk.

Sargent Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Mans is whiny and desperate

If your not fast enough he will drag you hips over his face and make you sit on his face

Don’t tell him you don’t want to because your scared he’d suffocate

Mans thinks that’s a great way to go

You were taking to long for him he reached out and grabbed you by your ass pulling you up and over his mouth. “Kyle no what if you suffocate?” He looked at you with a smug smile eyes clouded with lust. “I’ll die a happy man.” Arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you down on his mouth tongue running between your folds before dipping into your hole catching you off guard as you it sent you reeling forward clutching the headboard of the bed as moans flew out your mouth.

As his tongue ran through your folds he found your clit sucking it into his mouth circling it with his tongue as you tried to pull your hips away only to be pulled back down onto his mouth as he moans into your pussy. Gaz is one happy man.

Colonel Alejandro Vargas

CANT EXPLAIN IT

He’s way beyond starved and pussydrunk

Push him away and he’s crawling back like a man crawling to water in the desert

Had you on all fours as he ate you out hands gripping your hips. “Mi vida stop squirming.” Pulling you back to his mouth. “Can’t take-“ you we’re cut off by a moan leaving your mouth. Alejandro’s beard was rubbing against the inside of your thighs distracting you from the overstimulation you were receiving. “I’m not done with you.” He spoke looking at you with lust hooded eyes as he flip you and crawled between your legs where he was happy at.

Sargent Major Rodolfo Parra

Another man that enjoys you sitting on his face

Won’t tell you the reason why he loves it

Says it’s cause he wants to repay you and make you feel good too

(He just wants your weight and pussy on his face.)

“Fuck Cariño.” He grabbed your hips stopping you from grinding on his thigh. A whine of his name falling from your lips as the pleasure that was building up started to disappear. “Sit on my face Mi amor.” You looked at him as he laid back and pull you up over his chest. “What Rudy?” Your voice was hesitant as he continued to pull you til you were hovering over his mouth. “Sit on my face.” His arms wrapped around your thighs hands caressing your stomach. “What no. What if I smother you or something?” You mumbled trying to move back down his chest. “You won’t now sit on my fucking face and let me take care of you.” Man was on a mission and he was going to complete it.

I don’t like how this turned out but it was just sitting in my drafts for idk how long so I hope y’all enjoyed it 😭🫶🏽

[che444]

I FINALLY REALITY SHIFTED. (02/27/23)

this is my raw feelings about it, might post concisely thought out ones after I get better at it.

so, excuse me if this post gets long. But i reality shifted early this morning, at around 5 or 6am with no warning and I am shook okay. I am shook. When reading this post I want you to keep in mind that everyone’s experience with reality shifting is different, and if you don’t identify with any of this, that is fine. And if you have not reality shifted yet, do not allow this to create fear or any doubt in your heart, because you have only just begun to understand the true power you have.

I was a person who did not believe. I studied LOA, read everything, forced myself to do everything I thought would take me there, and I still did not get there. I would pester myself and berate myself when I did not succeed. I was hard on myself. I never gave myself breaks, I was obsessed with creating an ability that already naturally exists inside all of us.

Well, all of that clamoring came to a stop when my grandfather died of cancer last week. It shook me to my core. Broke me. To the point I could not force myself to do anymore studying, I didn’t listen to subliminal, I cut out the whole world and I had to just be with myself. I took out time to do things that I liked, I sat with my emotions, I processed and I had to just be. And a peace came over me, a peace I have never felt before.

Yesterday night I was happy, kicking it with friends in the chat rooms I surfed through, up until god knows when because I had given myself the rest of Sunday to rest. I was up til around 5 or 6am. And at 6am I became so tired that I actually waded into sleepiness, and I started to imagine sitting in an arm chair, looking at a black flatscreen tv, that was on a brown nightstand. I don’t know why and I don’t know what came over me but I realized I was fully aware that the rest of my body was sleep. I had fought kicked and screamed to reach this state for almost a year and right now I was reaching it effortlessly. I was there. At first it was darkness, but then the image started to appear right in front of me. Now keep in mind I sleep in a dorm room, with my bed lofted in the air, and all of a sudden I was almost in the room that was completely different than where I was, centered on the floor.

I observed and thought it was strange but that I was just going into a dream. Then suddenly, I felt my spirit or soul, I’m struggling to find the right term so please correct me if you have more insight, separate from my body, going downward. Almost like I was sucked out of my body. My heart started to beat so fast, it was blaring against my chest, and I wanted to wake up. I didn’t want to believe I wanted to run from this, but I didn’t. I forced myself to continue. I calmed my mind and spoke to myself in my head which I could hear as if it were outloud. And then all of a sudden, I was in the room. The room I had imagined.

I was so stunned when it came to color and when I realized I could feel the leather arm chair underneath my body. I was there. I looked around and I felt my head move and then I slowly started to move the rest of my body. I actively stood up, and I was actively thinking about everything. I looked around and when I finally got my bearings I wanted to experiment, I told myself “if this is truly real I’m gonna see my celebrity crush in the next room” and there she was, now, I acted on my desires queens and I won’t go any further. You know the deal.

I explored, I ate ice cream of flavors I can’t even describe to you, I felt true peace, I had a blast. But then, my anxiety set in when I realized I had a class in the morning. So I almost summoned back the room, and I sat back in the chair and told myself I was going back to my current reality. At first it went to blackness and faded in and out between my desired and current reality. But then my eyes flew open automatically after I felt myself go back into my body, going up like a fast elevator until I was back in my bed in the dorm.

Now I was so overwhelmed when I realized exactly what happened that I fainted.

When I came to it was around noon. My chest hurt but I was so overwhelmed with joy and confusion that I called one of my best friends who also is into reality shifting and we geeked out, I called my other best friend, I called my parents, anyone who would listen.

Not everyone will believe but what I will tell you is that it is very real. It is true. I felt as if I had someone how convinced myself of a huge lie and I was tricking myself but no, listen to me, NO. it is real.

Today I have not been feeling real, so caught up in what happened, but I am now solidified in the fact that I can reality shift, this is real, I am the universe. I am god and I can do anything with little no effort. I wish I could tell my grandfather this.

Be still, and know that you are god. Trust yourself. Trust that you are this universe and your power is golden. You are amazing. I believe in you. I believe in me.

Don’t give up! I love you!

If anyone has any suggestions or tips for aftercare or shifting or any tips on what I should do the next time I shift, please let me know below!

- Che <3

[bookwormstarwarsfan]

Rec list of my favourite HanLeia focused AU fics

Han/Leia Appreciation Week 2023

Hosted by @hanleiacelebration

Day 6 Prompt: AU/Canon Divergence

Baby’s first fandom event! I thought I won’t participate, but my sudden thoughts about HanLeia AUs and that I saw that rec lists are also an option made me change my mind. I wanted to do this one for a long time now!

The biggest challenge in writing an AU is finding out how the different circumstances affect the charachters’ personalities, how they will be different from Canon, while at the same time finding those core personality traits that can not be changed by anything. This is why I love AUs so much, seeing all these possibilities and seeing how the wonderful writers solve the characterisations.

The Return From the Event Horizon by Ivylore – Far the best AU, not just AU, fic I have ever read! The perfect representation of Han and Leia finding and wanting each other in every story. Object lesson of how to do the characterisation of the same people in drastically different settings. On ff.net exists the first version with more chapters!

Assembled Matrimony by @ravens23princess – Second favourite, a really unique, interesting idea! Shows the opposite of what we are used to, when getting together is easier than usual, but navigating that relationship is the real deal.

Prom Series by youandmeinlove (sadly an orphan account) – shameless high school AU fluff, but hey, we deserve it, Han and Leia also deserve it!

Making Choices by Falcon_Etti – The whole fandom along with the entire Rebel Base begged them ’Just admit it!’ Well, in this they admitted it.

You Are My Sunshine by Jaina Durron – the perfect World War II story with bonus Organa family feelings!

Godhood by @silvereddaye – A really clever story and a really smart twist on Greek Mithology.

Piecing Together the Truth by @stephpuppet – Such an exciting mystery, itt kills me that it’s unfinished, but still worth the read. Again a really creative idea!

New Hope, Indiana by Cicatrick – What a fic! What a detailed story and background! Han’s characterisation is so on point! Perfect HanLeia! (And it’s finished!)

Got to kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by @otterandterrier – The Imperial Han idea is shamefully neglected, so this one is close to my heart. In AUs I prefer longfics with a solid context, but this one is a proof that in just a thousand words a so complex story with lots of little details can be created.

From a Certain Point of View by ShouldIGetOutandPush – So much angst, I cried so much, but it’s a happy end and perfect HanLeia! (And it’s finished!)

Bad Advice for Secret Affairs by LASOS @1000-alshain – Only two chapters from 15 years ago, but I’m just obsessed with the idea, I’m thinking about the possible continuation too much.

[getsomegoagain]

Youll wake up and put this on again regardless of the weather but this is very much slow rainy Sunday soundtrack. Thank you for my glowing review. I am self conscious and that took a lot. Im already upset about this weekend. Im so glad you get to see mum. I can’t wait for her to see your gifts. I want to see the hugs while I’m bringing in bags. It won’t be some broken up weekend. We’ll get til at least Wednesday as I know how family means for you. I gotta be honest mama I’m pretty broken down. But you put a rod in my spine. I know you’re in my corner and if I ask you to cut me you’ll kiss my brow and take a razor to me if it means another 6 inches to drop another problem. I know you’re anxious. I know you’re scratching and picking worried about the weekend. Understand I will never fucking ever shame you for it. I just want you to see what I see. This perfect and the good in your soul I’ve been obsessing over for more than a decade. I have a hard time with memory but if you think for a second I forgot The Grace and you explaining this record to me in the front hall of charlesgate before I had to leave for some bullshit then you’re mistaken. You are my smile when I’m worried about my teeth. You are my knees when my back says no. You are still golden morning sunshine in a futon laid out so I can fit. You are artwork and you are the muse I could never quit. 12 years and the rhythm never changed. Nothing has changed. My endless longing mama. You.

You.

You.

Forever and always you.

[500days-of-autumn]

28th of august ‘22

I was browsing over one of my favorite artists’ newly released album and I stumbled upon this. It has been a week and I am still as obsessed as ever with her song ‘Backburner’.

To be honest, I never really knew about the word backburner until I encountered it in her album. I searched it on Google, and it said:

“If something is on the back burner, it is temporarily not being dealt with or considered, especially because it is not urgent or important: We've all had to put our plans on the back burner for a while.”

I couldn’t imagine being on someone’s backburner, or their second (or maybe even third) choice, or being put to last because you’re not the priority. But actually, it’s not being someone’s least priority that made the song devastating to me.

For me, it’s how we still feel joy and settle for the less despite them treating us like that.

I can't lie, it feels nice that you're calling

You sound sad and alone, and you're stalling

And for once, I don't care about what you want

As long as we keep talking (as long as we're talking)

If the old version of myself learned about this song then, I know she would bawl her eyes out for a night. And then, after that night, I know she would still choose to go back to someone.

Actually, if someone were to read this, especially when they knew me before, they would think that I’m being too cheesy about a moment in my life that happened 5 years ago. I don’t know, I feel that people won’t actually get where you’re coming from because they didn’t experience it themselves. I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) blame them though. It’s my choice and my experience to begin with.

It's pathetic, but at least you are, too

I don't know what to do

I don't like anyone except sometimes you

Oh how I love to be self-aware (that we’re pathetic.) Yet, despite knowing, we still make ugly decisions, right? Is this in our nature as humans or what.

After everything you put me through

I somehow still believe in you

Just why are we settling for less… really.

Someone Great (2019)

I watched Someone Great for the third time 3 days ago. I was crying at 2 AM as Jenny read her letter-slash-monologue directed to her boyfriend of nine years.

Nine years.

Imagine knowing someone head-to-toe to the point that you’re able to recognize their side burns, the length of their legs, or their nape. Created memories with them that every street and sidewalk you’ll pass by has a corresponding moment of you and them together. Nine years was a lot for two people.

I was reminded of Backburner as I was watching Someone Great. The odd thing about it is that they’re not actually related to each other at all. Jenny was not on Nate’s backburner, neither is Nate was on Jenny’s. They were always each other’s priority. Again, for nine years.

But I guess what makes this heartbreaking is that despite picking each other and being their own first choices in those years, they still aren’t made to be together.

Now the question is: Would you choose to be someone’s then-priority or to be on their backburner?

Maybe I'm just not better than this, I haven't tried

'Cause maybe you'll finally choose me after you've had more time

I thought I was a fast learner

But guess I won't ever mind, guess I won't ever mind

The common thing about the two is we are all being faced with possible choices, right? But honestly, what’s the better choice between the two—or better yet, what’s the less devastating decision?

Maybe I blame my mother bleeding into my stride

Maybe it was my father and his wandering eyes

(It's their fault that) I'll always be in your corner

'Cause I don't feel alive 'til I'm burnin' on your backburner

Niki’s Backburner also mentioned something related to her (although I don’t want to assume) parents’ relationship. For me, it posed how her settling for the bare minimum is related to how her mother did. And yes, this is why some people stay with someone who gives them the least amount of effort; because even if we are not the priority, this is, by far, the most amount of love we have ever gotten. It reminded me of a quote from a movie that I love:

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

The song ends with the word backburner being repeatedly said. Like it’s haunting us… backburner, backburner.

I hope one day we’ll all realize how we all deserve the better things in life. Even if we think we don’t deserve it, but honestly, we do.

[ganbaruwayo]

メアメア・Mare Mare

Kairiki Bear ft. Kizuna Akari Translation by Platonic水を食べる / Free to use with credit and a link back to this post.

~

もう頭の中 沸いてんだ Ahh, my head’s already about to boil over 手取り合う振りして どんどん Pretending to hold hands; my head is pounding. 陰口ばっか寒いんだって Since the all the shit-talking feels so cold 耳伏せましょう ラッタラ I’ll turn a deaf ear to it; la-tta-la 仲良しゴッコの末路は The end result of pretending to be good friends is that １＋２で『惨』だらけって One plus two is just a tri-tragedy* 偽善者 笑顔 嫌いだって Since I hate the smiles of those hypocrites 手を切りましょうラッタラッタ　タ I’ll cut off that relationship; la-tta-la ta-tah

ねえ独りになって笑うんだ Hey, turning out to be all by myself made me laugh ２－２で何にも無いな Two minus two is just nothing at all, huh 胸の奥 悴んだりして The heart in my chest is growing numb to the cold ハラホロヒレハレ Halla-hollo-hillee - oh my, ラッタラッタ　タ La-tta-la ta-tah…

痛くなくならない？ Does it have to hurt? いなくなくなりたい？ Don’t you want to disa-disappear? 居たくないなら背を向けて If you wanna disappear, then, turn your back to it all!

止まんない雨々 The rainy-rain won’t stop, ガラクタみたいな人生 Right on my garbage-looking life 抱え込むココロも Saddled with cradling my heart, 腐ってくシヌマデ It too, is rotting ‘til I die わかんない あれあれ I don’t get it - what’s up with that 不正解だらけの人生 Life full of nothing but test mistakes? 塞ぎ込むココロも Saddled with my brooding heart, 喰らってくシヌマデ It too, is being eaten ‘til I die

もう歪んだ仮面 見慣れたんだ Ahh, I’m already used to seeing warped masks 手取り合って取り繕って Ones that hold hands, keep up apperances 綺麗事 掲げて誇れって And boast about touting lip-service around, 目も当てられない ナイ ナナイ God, I can’t look at this any-ny-mo-more ドクドク孤独の末路は The end result of my steady, steady solitude is that 惨×惨＝『苦』で 傷 縫って A tri-tragedy squared equals stitching up wounds with sapo-nines** 偽善者ばっか嫌いだなって I’ve come to hate all the hypocrites, ハラホロヒレハレ Halla-hollo-hillee - oh my, ラッタラッタ　タ La-tta-la ta-tah…

いつか報われたい？ Do you want to be repayed one day? いつか救われたい？ Do you want to be rescued one day? いつかシアワセになれない？ Can’t I just get used to happiness one of these days?

止まんない雨々 The rainy-rain won’t stop, ガラクタみたいな人生 Right on my garbage-looking life 立ち込む暗がりに The darkness crowding this place, 縋ってくシヌマデ I’m clinging on to it ‘til I die わかんない あれあれ I don’t get it - what’s up with that 不正解マミレの人生 Life smeared full with test mistakes? 微かな希望さえ My dimming hopes and wishes, even 奪ってくシヌマデ Are being taken away ‘til I die

ここは悪夢 ココロの明くる I’m in a nightmare; after my heart, 孤独の泳ぐ I’m swimming through solitude ここはメアメア I’m in a nightmare-mare, ココロの雨は この灯の病めだ The rain in my heart is like a faulty lamp ここはメアメア I’m in a nightmare-mare, 拘る夢は 来ない運命だ My destiny is that the dreams I’m obsessed with will not come true ここはメアメア I’m in a nightmare-mare この降る雨は… This falling rain is…

止まんない雨々 The rainy-rain won’t stop, ガラクタみたいな人生 Right on my garbage-looking life 抱え込むココロも Saddled with cradling my heart, 腐ってくシヌマデ It too, is rotting ‘til I die わかんない あれあれ I don’t get it - what’s up with that 不正解だらけの人生 Life full of nothing but test mistakes? 照らしてく明日も The shining brightness of tomorrow, 喰らってくシヌマデ It too, is being eaten ‘til I die 今宵も雨々 Tonight, it too, is rainy-raining.

*This reads “one plus two equals three”, but using a homonym for three which is an adjective that means “to be pitiable or to be saddened.” I tried my best. **An expansion of the previous pun, this is “three times three equals nine” with the characters for three being the same homonym as before equalling a homonym for nine meaning “pain/anguish.” I shortened “a tri-tragedy times a tri-tragedy” to “a tri-tragedy squared” to keep the brevity of the original line (and 3^2 = 3x3 anyway). For the pun on nine I browsed a really long list of “words containing ‘nine’”, but I eventually landed on ‘saponines’ and it fit perfectly -- the character used there is the same character in the word for ‘bitter’, and saponines are a bitter toxin that are used in medicines!

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Else

'Taylor Swift'

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: When I'm with anybody else, it's so hard to be myself and only you can tell

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Hey Stephen: Can't help it if there's no one else, I can't help myself

Change: And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you, somebody else gets what you wanted again

Come In With The Rain: I've watched you so long, screamed your name, I don't know what else I can say

'Speak Now (Taylor's Version)'

Enchanted: Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you

Ours: And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

All Too Well: And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do

Stay Stay Stay: No one else is gonna love me when I get mad, mad, mad

Nothing New: Are we only biding time 'til I lose your attention and someone else lights up the room?

Babe: You said, "No one else," how could you do this, babe?

Babe: We said, "No one else," how could you do this, babe?

Babe: You said, "No one else," we ain't getting through this one babe

Babe: You said, "No one else," this is the last time I'll ever call you babe

Run: We can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is, run

Run: We can go like they're trying to chase us, go where no one else is, run

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Welcome To New York: Everybody here was someone else before

Wonderland: You search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had

'reputation'

(nothing else)

'Lover'

You Need To Calm Down: That stressing and obsessing 'bout someone else is no fun

Daylight: I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

Daylight: I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

'folklore'

Illicit Affairs: You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

Illicit Affairs: You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

'evermore'

Willow: You know that my train could take you home, anywhere else is hollow

Right Where You Left Me: Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

'Midnights'

Paris: No, I didn't see the news 'cause we were somewhere else

Paris: I was taken by the view like we were in Paris, like we were somewhere else

Paris: Like we were in Paris, oh, we were somewhere else

Paris: 'Cause we were in Paris, yes, we were somewhere else

Paris: My love, we were in Paris, yes, we were somewhere else

Glitch: In search of glorious happenings of happenstance on someone else's playground

Other Songs written by Taylor

Christmas Tree Farm: But I close my eyes and I'm somewhere else, just like magic

Official Alternate Releases

(nothing else)