#it wouldn't even have to be retelling the same scene

[inklings-sprint]

I just had a thought about something that could be interesting and/or fun. Not something necessarily for this year, but it's still early enough that you could still do such.

But now that we all have our teams, it would be neat if there was a story that had multiple parts that were contributed by people on the same team. I know it's not a team challenge like that, but it would be kind of interesting to see.

[genericpuff]

All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (The Twist)

Alright y'all, I've been waiting a hot minute to talk about this because I wanted to see how it fully panned out before saying anything about it. And it's not even specifically about LO, but I do think it's very adjacent to it in a way that I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear. Much of it speaks to how we prop up white writers even at the expense of POC.

This is 'the twist' attached to my first post that I made just a couple hours ago that concerns an entirely other topic but I feel ties into this subject very well.

If you haven't heard, there's this author who recently fucked around in the Del Rey publishing scene.

Her name is Cait Corrain.

In the original tweet calling this person out, names were not dropped, but it was made very clear that what Cait did was unacceptable behavior.

You can read the entire thread that started it all from Xiran here:

There's also a GREAT recap thread from one of the affected authors, Bethany Baptiste:

I want to make it clear that Cait Corrain isn't just a debut author.

Cait Corrain is - or now, was (foreshadowing is a literary device that-) - a debut author who had an agent, a publishing deal with Del Rey (an imprint of Random House which is a MAJOR publisher) and even an upcoming Illumicrate deal - meaning, her book was going to be packaged in a monthly loot crate subscription shipped directly to people's doors, quite possibly one of the best marketing deals a debut author could ever get, usually unheard of in this industry. All the pre-reviews were strong and positive.

Cait's book was literally set up for success. All she had to do was sit back, relax, and watch the fruits of her labors roll in. She had written the book. It was ready for release. The hard part was technically over.

But I guess the racism brainrot got to her because as it turns out, since April - for EIGHT MONTHS - she's been making alternate accounts on GoodReads to review bomb the indie and debut works of her friends and peers, most of whom were POC and did not have the same opportunities set up for them as she did. There are loads of receipts to back this up that you can find in those above threads ^^^

To say that this is appalling is an understatement. This was an intentional and deliberate act of racism by a white queer writer who claimed to be "jealous" - of what, I can't imagine - so much so that she deliberately sabotaged her peers, people who had supported her and her book.

And then when she got caught? She doubled down on it and claimed it was a "friend", also an alternate account she made up.

The exchange between her and this made-up person is actually the funniest shit out of this entire thing, it's so poorly written and as soon as people noticed the time stamps were out of order, that was when it truly cemented her newfound clown status.

"oooooh he's standing right behind me, isn't he?" energy right here LMAO

yes keep expositing cait, that's really selling the "this is a genuine conversation that really happened with a real person" bit 🤡

Anyways, it became abundantly clear that Cait was just going to continue to dig her heels in over something she caused.

This has been a hot topic in the UnpopularLO Discord, not just because of how crazy of a situation it is that we had to talk about it - and we have people within the community who work in the literature and media sector - but because we noticed one very telling thing in the list of series that she had review bombed in her very own personal act of wrath.

You see, Cait made one fundamental mistake that led to her undoing - she didn't just review bomb the works of her peers, she positively reviewed her own book and others.

What's her book about though?

It's an Ariadne x Dionysus retelling set in space.

It's literally another "modern retelling" of Greek myth.

And wouldn't you know it, guess who else created a modern retelling of Greek myth that she included in her positive review raiding while she was sabotaging the work of her actual peers?

Now, I think it goes without saying that what I'm about to say should be taken with MOUNTAINS of salt, I'm sure a lot of you are reading the headline and going, "Ugh, really? You're gonna make this about LO? Could you give it a rest already???"

I need you to understand, with the current state of Rachel's fanbase and 'modern' Greek myth literature as a whole, at this point Lore Olympus - and the works that are literally inspired by it such as A Touch of Darkness - has basically become the shopping cart litmus test of basic decency. It's like when someone says they like Harry Potter - you can't take it automatically at good faith anymore, because there isn't a whole lot separating someone who simply liked Harry Potter as a kid and still rewatches the movies from time to time from someone who fully supports the politics and agenda of J.K. Rowling. No, not everyone who still watches the movies or reads the books fondly is a TERF by default, but it's justifiably a reason for suspicion when the consequences are often too dire to risk.

There's this thing that's been happening in the LO fanbase that I frankly saw coming, but has really recently started to hit its peak. It's what I call the "Kanye Effect", where the comic has become so absurd and backwards in its misogyny and white feminism that the only people who seem to be left supporting LO are the people who are legitimate white feminists and misogynists - because all the normal level-headed people fell off the comic ages ago (or transitioned into the critical side of the community).

I mentioned it in my last post, but it bears repeating - Rachel's fanbase has literally been shipping Hera, a victim of abuse, with her abuser, Kronos. I'm really hoping a lot of them realize how fucked up that is now that Hera herself has called it what it is - abuse - within the comic, but I also can't count on the LO fanbase picking up on that or even noticing it with how quickly people swipe through it each week, it's very apparent at this point that most of LO's readers don't know how to chew their food and don't pay attention when Persephone and Hades aren't onscreen.

But I'm digressing. Or am I? We're talking about Crown of Starlight after all. The debut Dionysus x Ariadne sci-fi/fantasy romance that was quite literally advertised using Lore Olympus as its baseline-

This. This is what the ongoing cultural erasure and white feminist uwu-fication of Greek myth is doing to the literary zeitgeist surrounding Greek myth as a whole. This is why we criticize Lore Olympus and works like it that are created by disingenuous people who only seek to use the assets of Greek myth material as a way to shoot themselves up into fame and stardom. This is why we demand better standards in the literature and webcomic industry, so that people like Rachel and Cait can't use their privileges to quite literally erase the source material that they used to make themselves famous in the first place.

If anything, Cait's actions didn't just affect the people she negatively review bombed, or the people she was affiliated with, but also the people she positively reviewed. While I don't support what Rachel creates, she wasn't the only one who Cait went out of her way to review positively from her alt accounts, there were many others as evident in the Google Doc - but all this really does is tarnish the legitimacy of these books and their ratings by artificially jacking up their numbers that are advertised to others.

Making Greek myth fanfiction or fun creative retellings was never the problem, but it's now being sabotaged alongside so many other genres and mediums by toxic white individuals who can't even keep themselves from committing hate crimes, let alone create something purely for entertainment that's transparent in its illegitimacy, lest it destroy the illusion that these people are qualified to speak over those whose voices are being stifled, often by these very same people. Many of these writers get caught and are still allowed to continue what they're doing - that was certainly what we feared with Cait.

Until today.

It was revealed today that Cait's book will no longer be featured in the Illumicrate May 2024 box.

Del Rey has dropped Crown of Starlight from their publishing schedule.

Daphne Press will be hopefully following suit.

And, most telling of all, Cait's own agent has severed ties with her.

For anyone not familiar with the inner workings of the publishing industry, Cait has essentially been blacklisted. Without an agent or a publishing house, she'll have to entirely rely on her own resources through self-publishing. Unless she manages to sneak her way back in under an alias (which I wouldn't put it past her to try) she no longer has access to the mainstream publishing industry that was already guaranteed for her before she let her 'jealousy' get the better of her.

Her career was already made for her. She had a red carpet laid out for her debut. Her book was getting good pre-reviews and she had quite literally nothing keeping her from her success. The best thing she could have done was nothing. Somewhere in her head, she made up a threat that didn't exist, and sealed her fate in acting on it, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I think in these situations such as with Cait Corrain, Rachel Smythe, and - also recently and relevant - James Somerton, we need to become increasingly aware of how white voices are still overpowering POC voices, not just in their actions, but in the opportunities they're given over others which they then use to further stifle the voices of those they feel "threatened" by or feel entitled to speak over. While neither James nor Rachel have used sock puppet accounts to "take out the competition" (at least as far as we know lmao) James did quite literally steal the words and voices of queer writers who were deserving of their time in the spotlight, and Rachel's work is being quoted as "rewriting Greek myth" as if its blatant gentrification and appropriation should be marketed as some sort of positive.

It's all too common for these deeply-rooted prejudices to rear their ugly heads and for the people who carry them to act out in this way while justifying it as "jealousy" or "a mistake". This isn't jealousy. This isn't a mistake. This isn't someone "starting drama". This is genuine, targeted hate, with the intention of snuffing out the voices of others who should be empowered, not silenced.

All that time and effort, and for what? Racism and petty jealousy? It just goes to show, it doesn't matter how many opportunities you're given, how high up on the ladder you already are - it won't fix the deeply-rooted insecurity and racial pettiness that spurs people on to do such horrible things.

I've spent enough of my time and words today talking about Cait, and James, and Rachel. So to end this off, I want to join in with all the others who have highlighted the books that were review-bombed by Cait, and help in uplifting them so they can have successful debuts. I'll be pre-ordering a few of them, so I'll be happy to make dedicated posts for them in the future after they release. Please consider purchasing them for yourself if you want some new reading material <3

The Poisons We Drink by Bethany Baptiste:

So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole:

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X Chang:

Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright

Voyage of the Damned by Frances White:

(I'm sure there are plenty others so if I missed any here, please let me know so I can add them here and check out their books!)

If there's any silver lining to this, I hope that it makes people aware of the media they consume and who it's being created by. I hope it makes people more willing to seek out the books that aren't getting the same opportunities as Cait Corrain and Rachel Smythe. I hope it's a wake-up call to the industry that matters like this need to be taken seriously and that POC writers are still being silenced under their own noses. And most of all, I hope it's a reminder that we shouldn't even need at this point that this behavior is not okay, no matter what level a person climbs to - that just because someone is part of one minority doesn't mean they're not capable of sabotaging another. It sucks that that has to be said, it sucks that despite these groups being so intersectional there are still people within them who submit to their deeply-rooted insecurities and find ways to feel threatened that they use to justify hateful behavior.

Having a platform is a privilege. It should never be weaponized against your own peers or those who you simply feel "threatened" by for no reason beyond your own imposter syndrome or doubts or internal struggles. Because as much as you may feel like you've earned where you are, that never gives you the right to weaponize your opportunities against others who were never given those same opportunities in the first place. "Feminism" is not using your power to crush "other women". "Progressiveness" is not exclusive to the progress that only benefits you.

I wish only the best to those who were affected by the actions of Cait Corrain. You deserve to be heard and seen and appreciated for the work you do and the abuse you've had to tolerate. I look forward to your debuts in 2024 <3

[crooked-wasteland]

There is much to be said about the latest episode of Helluva Boss, and it is a bit of a tragedy that the animatic release felt like a more complete version of the episode than the actual finished product. From losing out on the visual intensity of Fizzarolli's injuries to the complete erasure of Barbie in the background of the disaster, it feels like these small changes removed the visceral intensity of the scene and its repercussions. Especially as Barbie is now the obvious point of conflict in Blitz's storyline, it feels like the impact of that part of the story is now devalued by her absence.

But that is hardly the end of the issues at play.

Medrano and her team rushed this story arc.

There are clear parallels to Bojack's two major story beats of Bojack abandoning Herb and the Sugarman Summer Home season arc. It is obvious that Blitz and Fizzarolli have a relationship paralleling that of Herb and Bojack in season one. However, Medrano pulls back in a multitude of ways and fails to commit the plot to a natural conclusion. While Herb rejects Bojack due to the fact that the latter never came to check up on him following his public disgrace and outing, Blitz is absolved of even that.

In the Bojack episode, Herb makes it clear that he doesn't blame his old friend for not standing with him when he was removed from Horsing Around. While he may have been upset at one time, he had cooled off and recognized that if the studio had let them both go, that would have been terrible for both of them.

Rather, it was Bojack assuming Herb's desires and thus avoiding his best friend for years under the belief that he had betrayed Herb so completely that the other wouldn't want to see him anyway. Bojack's insecurity was his own undoing in that relationship, even though it showed that both Herb and Bojack were still very compatible friends. Bojack's background of conditional relationships from his own parents set the groundwork for his hyperavoidant personality and how allowing generational trauma to dictate your relationships in life is a good way to lose everyone you ever hope to keep.

Here, Blitz didn't abandon Fizzarolli. Skipping to the end, Blitz was kept from seeing Fizz in the hospital by a currently unknown third party. Which removes his flaws on a fundamental level. While one could argue ripping off the storyline wholesale would have been just as bad, at least it wouldn't feel like a fanfiction retelling of that Bojack episode. It feels like Medrano had a very negative opinion of Herb and how he rejected Bojack and that this reiteration with her own characters is her way of "fixing" that relationship. At the same time, what Blitz ended up doing is far and above worse than Bojack simply not risking his career.

The episode takes the sequence as dark as they'd dare, Fizzarolli crawling out of the explosion as his body burns and disintegrates. The show really does want to bank itself on the emotional impact this sequence should have, picturing how afraid Fizz must be. The amount of pain he would be in as his mangled body turns to ash as he forces himself from the fire. His flesh melted, his horns seared red and glowing like it would if they were made of real keratin, his bones themselves falling apart as he forced his body to escape the disaster. And he calls out to the one person he held such admiration for, his best friend since they were kids, who turns his back on him and runs.

And somehow, that is not the reason the relationship has become so bitter and vile. Not because Fizzarolli, most likely believing he was going to die, watched his best friend run away and "save himself" (from Fizz's perspective), leaving him to die alone in this calamity. It's because Blitz never came to talk to him. And even then, it wasn't Blitz's fault.

While that reveal worked for Bojack and Herb, it doesn't actually work for when a character almost actually loses their life. The figurative end of the world that comes with losing a job you love and a creative passion project stolen and bastardized can not begin to amount to the physical act of dying. That is actually the entire point of Herb's story as well, why Bojack's initial betrayal is forgivable, but his avoidance was not. It's because what felt like the end of life in the moment didn't actually end anything substantial for Herb. He still lived a full and complete life, minus his best friend who left him to rebuild on his own. And you can not, in fact, make up for lost time.

Speaking of comparisons, the dialogue of this sequence in particular feels quite off-putting. Blitz's line of "You have e no idea what I lost in that fire" is accusatory and draws up a direct comparison to what each character lost. Fizzarolli is physically scarred by the events as well as mentally and emotionally. Horns are shown to be a source of social pride for imps, adding self-esteem and identity to the list of things Fizz lost in the disaster. But because it is implied that Blitz's mother actually did die in the fire, that is a tragedy somehow beyond belief for someone like Fizzarolli. It would be safe to assume that Tilla's death would have been felt by everyone who survived the circus, or at the least for the kids. The dialogue sets up a divide that somehow Blitz watching how his careless moodiness almost killed his crush is not at the top of the list of traumas Blitz has to sort through from this sequence is hard to believe.

Speaking of crush.

And that gets to why this episode as a whole fails to work on a fundamental level. For what it is, what it wants to be, and what it is trying to set up, this episode consistently drops the ball. It is confounding to think that Medrano believed that the relationship for Stolas and Blitz was for more necessary to show than this.

This episode should have been a flashback.

The entire episode should have been the lead up to the disaster. Show us the relationship of Blitz and Barbie and Fizzarolli. Show us the way Blitz is treated by others at the circus even as he ages.

Show us Tilla for five minutes for the love of everything meaningful. It's so hard to believe this should be important to the characters or story when we are given nothing concrete about who Tilla was as a person or mother. We lived the flashbacks of Bojack, no matter how short a snippet they were. We experienced Beatrice's callous nature or his father's self-centered abuse. For as important as she is implied to be, Tilla is not so important as to be an active participant in the story.

At the end of all this, I believe that the greatest issues boil down to a set list

- Characters do not have any lasting responsibility to the situation, their actions or the outcome.

- Somehow a character like Tilla who has never been seen and lacks any personality outside of early Steven Universe Rose Quartz perfection is a loss that is elevated over the trauma we are allowed to very distantly experience in Fizzarolli's monologue.

- The fact that we still have no idea about who any of these characters were to appreciate the sense of loss that this episode was supposed to supply.

- Fizzarolli and Blitz make up completely by the end of a single episode.

- The lack of buildup to the disaster causes confusion as to why it ever happens. Blitz throwing the confession letter on the ground and walking away has no rhyme or reason to it.

This episode is a literal laundry list of bad choices and poor structuring. When a school teacher writes in the margin, "Show, don't tell," this is what they are talking about.

[demeterdefence]

you know, for a comic that claims to be a "feminist retelling," it is incredible how meaningless and vapid the actual "feminism" tends to be

just using the latest update, where ouranos is verbally trying to tear rhea down and metis just kind of ... does this? and let's be clear, i don't expect metis to break into some kind of longwinded speech, considering the moment, but it doesn't like ... do anything.

is there even any reason to say rhea and metis knew each other? beyond just being fertility goddesses, have they ever actually met? metis reaching for rhea would have a lot more power if we knew of their relationship prior; because we don't know if there was one (and there very likely wasn't, rhea mentions metis to zeus while she's dying in his arms and tells him to use metis like ouranos used her) the casual aspect of this interaction falls flat on its face.

it's great to have girl boss moments and "fuck yeah" scenes, and those can be great as a feminist aspect, but feminism and women solidarity is more than that. it's something rachel has tried to do numerous times but can never actually stick the landing on. the concept of all the fertility goddesses working together could be empowering, but thus far, we haven't seen them connecting - they're just posing in their met gala reject dresses, framed in such a way that we see their breasts over and over. wouldn't this moment have been better if metis and the other fertility goddesses had put their hands on rhea's shoulders, or shown that they were together beyond ouranos? there wouldn't even need to be text; showing the three of them surrounding her, showing her love that she couldn't find with kronos, showing her that she wasn't alone.

if rachel wanted to prove that rhea was too badass to be affected by ouranos, then metis reaching for her just serves as pointless space filler. there's no point to her repeating "no, no, no" because it defeats the whole purpose of rhea being strong. it makes it seem like rhea is as fragile and timid as ouranos is trying to claim. again, we don't even know if metis and rhea know each other, and we have to remember that in previous chapters, rhea is the one who told zeus to consume her, and that metis slept with zeus when he was very much underage. we don't exactly have positive links between the two, so having metis act as some kind of comfort just feels. obligatory. like, throw in some surface level girl comfort.

visuals can be so powerful, and just seeing all the fertility goddesses rallying together facing ouranos, rather than separately posing, could have been so phenomenal. isn't that the whole point of this narrative? isn't the whole point that love goes both ways, that strength comes from connection and love (not just romantic, but maternal, friendship, allyship?)

unrelated, i don't think it's a coincidence that both persephone and rhea have been bashed by their father-in-laws in The Big Showdown, or that the bashing follows the same line of taunting. both have been called useless and weak, and it just seems to drive the point home that rhea and persephone are more or less twins. this is the most persephone-looking rhea has ever appeared, which is gross for a lot of reasons, but i digress.

showing, not telling, goes a long way, and it would be nice if we could see the actions of women supporting each other, rather than being told it's happening.

[t0bey]

sorry!! I meant the new storymode chapter for idv that came out!

ohh i see! ty for clarifying ^^ forgive me bc this is gonna be long and i have MANY thoughts

i actually really loved this episode a lot?? in terms of actual gameplay content i think i even enjoyed this more than TOR, (excluding out of game elements of the event like the animations) and considering my main gripes with episode 1 was how short it was, this ep being 50+ minutes in total definitely solved that problem i had!!

i really enjoy the pacing of everything so far, even if im kind of confused on if our choices actually impact anything? i think part of it is explained by orpheus clearly trying to manipulate what alice does in certain parts of the game like confronting frederick, but others seem like its just the option of choices getting in the way of the game's v obvious linear storytelling lol. i hope that the choices that affect relationships actually serve a purpose long-term

i was wondering how they were going to include mary in the main lore considering for years she's only really been a retelling of marie antoinette's history, but honestly? i love that they fleshed her out into her own character being mary de capet instead of just marie antoinette, and she has her own lore with the racecourse and frederick too. i loved the chase between her and alice sm, and it was interesting how it turned out that in actuality it was *frederick* that alice was hallucinating as mary

anyways mary showing up in HD and having a badass entrace was very cool

also i think everyone knew frederick was going to be taken out somehow and i like that its very open ended what happened to him so far? personally think he might've gotten killed or something after alice fainted at the racecourse, since his stuff was still in his room + Norton is very obviously his replacement at the end (him sitting in fred's chair). plus i think game participants only get replaced if they die, like what happened with servais replacing murro after he got killed by naib

I was REALLY hyped to see the secret medicine lab return from TOR!! and i like that alice used the same rat testing method detective did back then too lol. what really piqued my interest was realizing that when she starts hallucinating and runs away from fool's gold, it wouldn't make sense bc she wouldn't have met him until breakfast the next day. but then when you look at the figure who forced her to drink the drugs to knock her out, if u look close enough it's clearly Norton.

seems like he is working with orpheus at least to the degree that he knows what to do down in the lab by himself, which is interesting and explains why alice would hallucinate FG before actually being introduced to norton the next day.

also considering orpheus chloroformed alice while she was hallucinating before she woke up strapped to the chair and norton made her forget what happened, p much spells theyre working together imo?

overall i really like that this episode leaves you with just as many questions as it did answers (mainly about frederick) and im very curious how they explore melly and orpheus's ACTUAL involvement in the manor games, considering its p obvious theyre both lying to alice in the bedroom scene. have my thoughts on orpheus's actual deal w the forest ranger he mentions but this post is already long enough lol. i hope melly gets more spotlight next episode 🙏

[kaelidascope]

Dude, I love this fanfic so much! I just wanted to ask where you got the idea from. Did you have any inspiration from anyone? Also, what's your favorite fanfic? And want do you recommend ?

AWE bless!! Thank you so much I'm glad you're enjoying it <33

So actually a good 80% of this is written from personal experience LOL I used to dance and was into drift building/racing in my late teens/early twenties! Most of the references or scenes in Midnight Menagerie are references to things I've seen or done in real life, OR stories friends have told me within the same field. (Nora is literally just a rebranding of this one mutual friend we had who just. Absolutely fucking unhinged) Like for example, the anticipated Hangover Chapter is just a retelling of an insane Summer weekend I had in 2017 ☠️ it's a personal delight being able to translate things into the narrative, even more so knowing people find my stupid, terrible decisions as amusing as I do in current times lol

My general rule of thumb is to write from experience. Things I understand either on a technical point or emotional connection. So, if you've read it in my work, it's probably something I've done LOL

Another reason I find drive in writing this type of narrative is that MM!Blake's type of dissociative PTSD is something I haven't seen much in media in general. I've seen people depict her in various ways (some of them good!), but none of them ever really apply directly to me, so I wanted to make something that I could relate to and how to properly navigate life, given the environmental circumstances. Plus some us need better examples on how to juggle mental illness as adults and also be in healthy long term relationships because damn I have zero reference LOL

For the fic recs, oh boy I have so many LOL time to be a pathetic fangirl on main but okay here's the ones that immediately jump to mind (also heads up most of these are mature or explicit rating);

Certified Kaeli Fresh Fics

Let You See My Wilder Side (If I Can See Your Bones)

We all know this one but it is, hands down, my favorite piece of literature of all time. Masterfully crafted and a timeless classic worth several rereads (and I have. Embarrassingly so)

Written by @/lucytara on tumblr || @/explosive_sky on twitter

honestly all her works are immaculate and beyond compare. Also a major fan of I Have A Bullet With Your Mouth On It (That was first RWBY fanfic I ever read LMAO a friend recommended it to me before I even watched the show) I aspire to write like her some day. It's what got me writing fanfiction in the first place. So, credit goes to Erin for inspiring me to post my manuscripts at all. Words cannot express my gratitude and appreciation. I have two book series in the process of being published now and I wouldn't have had the nerve to do it had it not been for this specific fic.

2. One Day At A Time

Also one of the earlier fics I read before getting into the show LOL I love all of @/Frenchsoda 's work, the full list is also worth checking out. I'm a fan of disgruntled Blake who doesn't understand her attraction to Yang but it's so god damn sweet ugh

3. Fucking In Love

Written by @/Set_WingedWarrior and @/Softlight

This one circulates a lot in my social circles. Everyone I know LOVES this one and after reading it earlier this year, now I see why. As someone who worked in the sex industry for a brief period of time, this one's not only accurate but also A DELIGHT to read. The premise is fun, captivating, and worth the wait. I actually discovered a chapter update earlier this year and sent the gc into hysterics because we thought the fic was dead LMAO props to these authors!! They're doing an amazing job and deserve praise

4. You're A Mountain, Full Of Glory

written by champion author @/lescousinsdangereux

I should just preface already that every book Blake reads in MM is a fanfiction that exists because I love Easter eggs. Everyone knows I had Blake reference this in chapter 3 LOL but it's equally as immaculate as Erin's work. I LOVED especially the dynamic between Weiss, Yang, and Ruby in this one. Baby, we're complicated fucking murdered me 😭 also that fuckass Christmas scene, that's my favorite Christmas song LMAO

5. The Home Inside Your Head

Written by the ever skilled @/writeriguess . I found this fic by accident by seeing fanart for it floating around on this site. Got curious, picked at it, and. Oh, my god. It's not very often my brain gets scratched in the right way, but boy this one does it. This author does something specifically unique I haven't seen many do before, and I applaud them for it. There's great detail on the scenes that matter, and the fucking organic build up between Blake and Yang is just. God. Chef's kiss. Truly. It feels so god damn natural and healthy and it's already crossing off several of my agendas already. Give this one a read and give the author some love. SENSUAL FACE TOUCHING? CHAPTER 13????? BOOOOOOOYYYYYYY I'm normal about it

6. You'd Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)

Written by @/WabaJaba_ on twitter

Okay so this one's completely different than what I've previously listed but HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS IT A THRILLER. It doesn't nearly have the amount of love and attention it truly deserves. A friend of mine recommended it to me because it shook them so fucking hard they were in total brainrot hell for a MONTH. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY LMAO God I was obsessed with this for weeks myself. It obviously lives up to it's rating, horror fics aren't for everyone. But if you're able to read it, good lord you should. It's chilling, captivating, and had me on the edge of my fucking seat the entire time. Both endings are good, I still can't decide which one I prefer but RAH I will make sure this is seen god dammit

and last but certainly not least

7. You And Me and This Temptation

written by talented author @/ProfessorSpork

Okay this one was an accidental find as well. A friend sent it to me because THEY found it by accident, I clicked on it for later, went looking for a completely different fic that I mistook for this one, started skimming and realized 'wait a minute LMAO I don't recognize this'. But the thing you have to understand is I hate reading. I'm not a reader, I'm picky and it needs to be worth sitting down for long periods of time. This is one of the rare instances where I was so captivated by it I kept reading more and more from the middle where I landed, and eventually just said ykw let me just start from the beginning cus LMAO context.

This one is, by far, one the healthiest and loveliest depictions of first times I have ever seen. This shit was so inspiring to me that it literally kickstarted an essay in someone's DMs why depictions like this are so important. I didn't have this experience irl, and why MM is written the way it is is because its meant to serve as a lighthouse for those who, like me, haven't. This fic however I feel like should be a required read for anyone getting into relationships for the first time because if it's not like how these two interact, LEAVE IT. This is the standard. This is amazingly written, it's the closest I've ever seen canon Yang and Blake be written to date. The fucking souvenir bit 😭 NJKFGNFJKGNGJ killed me, I was kicking my feet laughing for a good minute. This is the kind of standard everyone should look at and go 'yeah, I want what they have' BECAUSE IT'S CORRECT. LOUD CORRECT BUZZER NOISES

Honestly everything in my bookmarks is certified Kaeli Fresh but these 7 are my top faves. They're probably also really commonly known I'm sure but LMAO like I said I don't read much 😭 which is heavily ironic considering I write myself. Anyway this ended up way longer than I intended but LOL <3 <3 go give these incredible authors love!!

[ssadumba55]

Being Rapunzel and Flynn Rider's Kid Would Include

Request: Hey, may I request being Rapunzels and Flymn riders kid headcanons please?

Rapunzel and Flynn would be amazing but chaotic parents, you have to admit

Neither really have childhood experience to draw back on in terms of proper parenting. They definitely try their best though, even despite that.

Story times with Flynn, in which he loves to read his favourite book as a child to you (The Tales of Flynnigan Rider)

Even though you have tons of servants to do things for you, both your parents teach you the importance of doing things on your own. Neither of them grew up with things being done for them and they want to instill that same work ethic in you.

Painting, cooking, baking with Rapunzel. She loves to teach you the skills she learned while trapped in her tower, it doesn't matter if you're good or not, she'll encourage you to keep at it

Spending time with Maximus and Pascal, any child of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider would love causing mischief with their parents animal sidekicks

Days out in the town with your parents, the people in town love you

There would be lots of singing and dancing, even if Flynn isn't always the most into it. The three of you will sing and dance as you do even simple tasks.

Lots of mischief, there's no way Flynn wouldn't teach you how to pull pranks and play tricks on people in the castle. The two of you can usually be spotted running from the scene of some practical joke, laughing

There's never a dull moment, your parents try their best to make everything you do memorable even if it's something small

Despite the fact that they want you to have a good work ethic, they spoil you beyond belief, anything you want/need is basically yours if you ask for it

Cuddling at night when you have nightmares, Rapunzel would wrap you in her arms and sing to you, Flynn would make a big show of scaring the "monsters" in your room

No matter how old you get, they'll drop everything to help you, even if it's for something small. They would never leave you on your own to figure things out

They'd also always be supportive in whatever you choose to pursue, even if it's something they're not too fond of it themselves, they believe in you

And before you ask, yes, they love to retell the story of how they met (and fell in love) for you every time you ask, it's one of your favourite stories

[cryptocism]

i know you've said before that you had a lot of missed opportunities with moments between three and four in the past, (mainly to keep the story moving through six's perspective,) and i'm just curious if you have any specific instances in your brain that you'd like to share? i wouldn't blame you if you didn't but i love these guys and i thought i might as well ask !!

oh yeah there was a handful of scenes i had outlined. originally my idea was to have short flashbacks from Three's POV at the beginning of each chapter, basically functioning as a simultaneous vehicle for empathy and to flesh out his backstory. A lot of it was going to be retellings of canon Inertia Moments from Three's perspective, sort of like "missing scenes" in canon.

a lot of those discrete moments i ended up reusing and combining into the scene that Six witnesses, but originally they took place over a handful of instances.

one of those "missing scenes" bits was going to be referencing F:FMA #7 where Four brings CRAYDL some CD's from the past:

basically taking place in the gutter between those last two panels. lots of drama and unspoken tension: four's much more positive relationship with CRAYDL, the fact that CRAYDL calls Four "Thad", and lil sprinkle of foreshadowing for the CD's and other "artifacts" from the past that are clearly ferried to the kids in the basement without Three or Four's knowledge.

throughout the flashbacks would be a narrative thread where Three is holding tight to some hypothetical future where Four lets his guard down and Three can kill him and take his place. Then gradually the existential doom of the situation seeps in through the cracks of Three's psyche while he watches Four (failing, despised by hero and villain alike) and realizes that existing as Inertia is just a shadow of a real life, and that taking Four's place would doom him the exact same way. plus the bonus drama of wanting Four around even when he's terrified Four is going to come back, connecting neatly with the way he keeps Four's corpse in the future because he needs the reminder that Four is dead but can't stand the thought of letting him go.

anyway it all ended up staying in the outline phase because at that point i was more committed to Six unwillingly bearing witness to the past in a bid to avoid his doomed future bc it felt like it got more mileage story/character-wise. as much as i love Three and Four's insanely toxic dynamic, i think if i wrote out their scenes as originally outlined the tone would really blend together as one long bummer.

however i did really like this one line that went something like: "Being without powers was a helplessness that caught in Three's throat like a fish hook." so rip to that one ill have to find a way to repurpose it in something else.

[blizzardstarx]

And you’ll never see the reasons I had, for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you.

Cat!Vanessa AU Fic

Warning: Child/animal death, child/animal abuse, a LOT of gore, implied suicidal thoughts (?)

A/N: I have not written in years 😭 last thing I've written about cats/warrior cats was three years ago, and my English is kinda ass. Also, everything is the same except they are cats and some things are replaced with cat-related things or actions. The pizza is cat-safe. The animatronics/suits don't exist and instead are replaced with a kind of illusion that is still called suits that makes William or the ghost kids look like the respondent animals. The suits have spring locks. Also, some lines and scenes have been inspired by the movie novelization. Her cat character is slightly inspired by my character study essay of her 💀 which had a bunch of theories and headcanons.

The fic is divided into three parts, marked by the snowflake time skips. Vanessa’s happiest day is the three snowflakes, two snowflakes being the cat retelling of the FNAF movie, and one snowflake is the end scene with Vanessa and William.

Total stats: 6038 words, 33061 characters

Fic word count: 5868

Be compliant. Lay low. Don't disobey him.

❆ ❆ ❆

It was Vanessa's happiest day. She had turned six moons old! She could taste the rich pepperoni pizza that wafted through the air on her tongue, a soft smile on her face as a euphoric feeling filled her body. Today was perfect. Her father, William Afton, was amazing in creating this place. It was going to be the best day ever, spending it at Freddy's with her friends and family!

Vanessa had brought her plane plush with her, the orange toy in her jaws, setting it down on one of the tables. Her father had given it to her just as Freddy’s had had its grand opening. Vanessa remembered the squeal of happiness that had come out of her mouth as he gifted it to her, softly smiling. She recollected her father’s praise, her father pressing his nose to hers affectionately. She’d carried it around everywhere with her since. The she-cat’s ears perked up as she heard the small thudding of her brother's paws, followed by a few others. She turned around, spotting the group of kits. Vanessa bounded towards them, feeling the fuzzy floor beneath her tickle her paws. She approached one particular kit, a light cream tom who was barely taller than her.

A soft yelp came out of the tom's mouth as Vanessa tackled him, her blue eyes shining happily.

"You're here!"

Her brother, Cassidy chuckled underneath her.

"Of course, I wouldn't miss this for anything! And I brought our friends here," he said, a grin on his face as Vanessa got off of him, letting her brother stand on his paws.

Soft chuckling could be heard around her as Cassidy got to his paws, shaking his fur out. Vanessa glanced at the crew gathering around them, seeing a mix of colors. A golden she-kit, Susie, twitched her whiskers as she glanced at the two littermates. They were almost identical, but Cassidy was a bit taller than her, had four light paws, and was a few moons older than her, even though Vanessa felt as if they were twins. The blueish gray tom, Jeremy, was audibly laughing, while the red tom Fritz let out a soft mrrow of amusement. Gabriel, a brown tom, was the most composed, but his brilliant blue eyes shone with held-back laughter.

“This place is so cool, I can’t believe your father made this!” Fritz yipped, the three-legged cat prancing around the place.

Susie’s mouth watered at the delicious scents as she sniffed the air, following after the red tom with her cupcake plushie in her mouth. The four others followed them as they explored the pizzeria, playing the arcade games.

❆ ❆ ❆

They’d settled on sitting down at the table that Vanessa had put her toy airplane on, munching on the delicious pizza and talking. Vanessa closed her eyes as she savored the taste, praising how good it was in her mind. Music played over the speakers, playing in the background as Fritz made up a story about how he lost his leg, even though everyone knew he had been born like that. The pizzeria felt a bit empty, Vanessa’s eyes landing on the empty stage across the room. I wonder what Daddy’s going to put there? She thought, flicking her tail.

No one had yet noticed that Susie was gone, and her cupcake plushie with her.

The five finished their pizzas, and suddenly, Gabriel looked around, his blue eyes wide. “Where’s Susie?” He asked. He glanced down at her plate, that still had half of her pizza on it.

“Maybe she ran off to the arcade games again,” Fritz chuckled, his whiskers twitching.

Cassidy shot him a look before turning to Vanessa, his eyes full of worry. Vanessa returned the glance.

“I’ll go check,” Jeremy meows, the blueish-gray tom getting to his feet and padding away.

Vanessa fidgeted on her paws as she looked around, hoping to see Susie’s golden fur anywhere, to see a hint of the she-kit, to see anything.

Where did she go?

❆ ❆ ❆

Jeremy and Susie had not returned. Fritz’s usual unseriousness was turning into seriousness as the minutes went by. Gabriel shifted on his big paws, the broad brown kit’s eyes darting around nervously. “I’ll go check on both of them…” he murmurs, glancing at the three. Cassidy dipped his head, nodding as he watched the stout tom walk away. Fritz got up as well, following Gabriel.

❆ ❆ ❆

They did not return.

It was just Cassidy and Vanessa alone together.

“...Cassie… why is everyone disappearing? What’s happening to them?”

Vanessa frowned as a dreadful feeling began to creep into her fur, glancing at her brother with her wide blue eyes, her ears flattened and hackles raised.

“I don’t know, Ness… Stay here, alright? I’ll be back.”

“...Okay…”

The tom padded off to the back rooms, a grim and worrisome look on his face.

Vanessa trembled as she watched her brother, feeling as if this was a bad idea. She went against his words, silently tailing him. Cassidy ducked into the shadows, entering the room.

Vanessa saw a flash of cream fur as Cassidy recoiled away from the room, his blue eyes filled with horror and his mouth slightly agape in a silent scream. She darted towards him, revealing her presence as he spotted her. Her brother tried to keep his composure, but he could not hide the look of pure terror in his eyes. “Why did you follow me?” Cassidy yelped, blocking the room with his body, not wanting his sister to see. “C-Cassidy.. What’s happening?” Vanessa mews softly, shrinking as she tries to look past him, trying to catch a glimpse of what he has seen.

“Cassidy.”

Cassidy pushed her away forcefully, shooting her a glance as he turned his back on her. Vanessa got to her paws brushing past him, her brother yelping in horror. Bile rose in Vanessa’s throat as her tongue grew dry, gasping in horror.

Four bodies lay broken and bloodied on the tiled floor of Freddy’s.

Susie’s golden fur was stained with blood, her jaw dislocated and broken, her mouth open in a silent yowl. Jeremy’s body lay limply, his eyes ripped out of his sockets. Gabriel slumped against the wall, his brilliant blue eyes now dull and glazed over, the sticky red liquid pooling beneath him. Fritz’s right eye had been gouged out, tears staining his face.

A metallic taste filled the air, the sickly scent of blood flooding the two’s mouths and noses. A loud wail came out of Vanessa’s mouth as hot tears fell down her face. This isn’t real, this isn’t really happening. She was rooted to the ground, frozen in fear.

“Vanessa.”

Vanessa shot up in alert at the sound of her name, her hair standing on end. Her eyes landed on the yellow rabbit figure before her, blood soaking his fur, his wide predator-like purple eyes almost glowing in the darkness of the room. The figure flickered before shifting to her father– no. This was not her father.

Cassidy’s mouth drew back in a snarl as he stared at the bigger tom. “What did you do?” He yowled in terror and anger. Vanessa saw a flash of golden fur as William smacked her brother across the face with his left paw, claws still unsheathed and blood dripping down them. Cassidy let out a choked sob, recoiling away as blood filled his mouth.

“Keep your muzzle shut,” he growled, baring his teeth at them. “You’re going to help me clean this mess up.”

Vanessa could not recognize her father. The bloody, crazed cat before her was not the loving and kind dad she’d known. “N-no!” She sobbed, choking out the word between her teeth. Cassidy slapped his tail on her mouth, dragging himself in front of her. “She didn’t mean that Dad, please,” he pleaded, tears streaming down his face.

William stepped closer towards the cowering kits, his eyes narrowed, shining menacingly. “Step aside,” he snarled, glaring icily at Cassidy as he flexed his claws.

“I won’t let you hurt her, too!”

The large tom darted forward, his claws ripping down her brother’s left side of his face, clipping his ear and clawing his eye. Cassidy winced, but he did not budge, determination filling him as he stood his ground, blood rushing down the side of his face. Adrenaline flowed through his veins as he shook in anger, blinded in one eye.

“Did you do this to mom too?”

Cassidy spat, lashing his tail as he glared at his father in fury and pain. This was the final straw for the bloody golden tom. He raised his paw and, to a shout of horror from Vanessa, brought it down onto the small kit, slashing his neck. William coldly raised his head, glaring at his daughter with those blueish-purple eyes.

“This is all your fault.”

Vanessa scrambled back, staring at her brother’s limp and broken body on the ground, feeling more bile rise in her throat as she sobbed. This isn’t real, this isn’t real, she repeated over and over in her mind, covering her mouth with her left paw. Please, please wake up… He- he’s not really dead…

“Vanessa.”

The kit wailed softly as tears fell numbly down her face, unable to take her eyes off her brother’s small frame, her paws frozen to the ground. William noticed this, glaring down disgustedly at his son’s body, taking the small kit’s tail in his teeth. Audible crunching and cracking noises could be heard as he bit down, making Vanessa flinch. With a swift motion, her father jerked his head, ripping most of his tail off.

“You don’t want to end up like your brother, do you, Vanny?”

Vanessa shook her head, sobbing as she tore her eyes away from her brother’s body, looking into William’s purple eyes as he stared down at her.

“Help me clean up the mess you created.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Be compliant.

After they were done, her father had returned to his normal self, his fur softening and flattening. He handed her her toy plane when they had passed by the table, patting her on the head.

“Good job, Vanny. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too, daddy.”

❆ ❆

Maybe one day the loving father she had known would return. The cat with those warm blue eyes, that warm smile, and comforting nuzzles. On and off again, he would come close, but it would never be the same. Vanessa had always walked on eggshells around her father. She’d known that if she stepped a hair out of line, she’d end up just like her brother. Broken and shattered. Dead. As Vanessa grew up, she knew he was capable of hurting her, and so she lay compliant. She became an EMT, to ‘make up’ for the blood on her paws, and to help others who have been injured. But of course, her father took away any control she had over her own life, ‘suggesting’ to her that she should become a police officer and twisting it for his gain, forcing her to cover up his crimes and clean up after him. Maybe one day she’ll move to another state and run away forever, to try to escape her father’s grasp. Vanessa knew she would never be free, harnessed to her father. He will always yank her back. She will never escape him, he will always find her. You don’t want to end up like your brother, do you, Vanny?

After Freddy’s had shut down because of the Missing Kits Incident, her father had trouble keeping intruders out of the place. After all, it was a high-tech building with valuable technology and games, at least for the time. He’d hired security guards, which he’d force Vanessa to ‘clean up’ if they got too close to discovering the truth of the place. Vanessa felt tied to the restaurant, unable to leave, unable to free herself from the abandoned pizzeria. She’d always go there, talking to the ghost kits– her former friends– comforting and listening to their sorrows. It was almost therapeutic for her, talking to her ghost friends and cleaning the suits. Cassidy was never there though. Her friends would talk about her brother, but he never appeared when she was there. Vanessa’s guilt never faded away from that day, shackled and chained to that horrific incident. They would never be free.

❆ ❆

Her father had told her of the newest security guard, Mike Schmidt. Of course, he reminded her of her duty, and she nodded dully. How many security guards have been killed at Freddy’s? Five… Ten… Vanessa couldn’t count how many dead cats’ blood had been on her paws. Their faces blurred together in a mushy mess in her mind, their names long gone and forgotten. Vanessa felt repulsed as she stared at her paws, feeling the layers of blood caked underneath her claws.

Vanessa went to Freddy’s to check in on the new security guard. It took half an hour and she suspected that the kits might have gotten to him, but he finally opened the door. She showed him around after treating the wound on his front leg, showing Mike the performance the animals would give if he pressed the showtime button and gave him the security guard badge.

“There. Now you’re official.”

Those words reminded her of the day shift guard that had worked at Freddy’s long ago. The brown she-cat was a friend of her father’s, so warm and kind towards her. She had given her the badge in the same way, saying those words, and had shown her the showtime button. What happened to her? What did he do to her?

❆ ❆

Stupid.

A group of cats had broken into Freddy’s because Mike had left one of the doors unlocked. Vanessa could never get used to the metallic scent of blood that filled her mouth as she mindlessly washed away the stains on the floor from the kits having attacked the cats. I should have made sure they were locked. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Her father had instructed her to stuff any cats that died at Freddy’s in the parts and services room. He’d deal with them later. Vanessa stared at one of the cats, one that had his face chewed apart, so desensitized to the horrific sight. One of the others, a red she-cat, had her body dismembered in half. She forced her feelings of guilt down as she dragged their bodies one by one to the instructed room, her ears pressed flat against her skull and tail low.

❆ ❆

Vanessa paid a visit to Mike’s house, informing him about the break-in. To her surprise, she saw a small kit with him, a tortoiseshell she-kit with matching amber eyes. Abby was her name. To her surprise, she found out Abby was his sister and sadness filled her as she was reminded of her brother. She’d filled Mike in about the break-in, and he suggested that they should take a visit down by the canal behind his house.

❆ ❆

“So, I used to have a brother. His name was Garrett. And when I was… about twelve. He was… he was taken. They never found the cat who did it– they never found my brother.”

Garrett. The name was engraved into her mind as a flash of recognition flashed in her blue eyes. She quickly hid it as she heard Mike continue his story, telling her of the dream he makes himself recount at night, silently repeating the name over and over, thinking of her toy plane that lay on one of her shelves in her bedroom. The G that had been scratched into the bottom before it faded away over time. Of course, her father had killed him. Of course, he had single handedly destroyed Mike’s whole family, with his father leaving, and his mother dying.

❆ ❆

Vanessa eyed the drawing of the five kits playing with the yellow rabbit on the wall. She remembered the day she’d drawn it, bile rising in her throat as she could only stare in horror, her ears flattened as the guilt prickled her pelt once more.

Vanessa’s ears perked up as she heard Mike unlock the door. “Guys, I’m back! Hey, Vanessa!” A small voice yipped in excitement behind her. She turned around, spotting the tortoiseshell kit bounding around, going towards the stage. Horror and dread dawned on Vanessa as she realized Abby was here. She’s going to be killed. Father- he’s… I can’t let this happen. Not again. She thought, staring at Mike, regaining her composure as frustration rose beneath her fur.

❆ ❆

The cream-colored she-cat rose to her paws as she padded towards the back room to get tablecloths for Abby’s fort, Mike following after her. She didn’t say anything, keeping her muzzle shut, going back to the same room she’d lost everything in. The familiar scent of blood flooded her senses, even though there was none. Vanessa gagged but continued her task, grabbing some tablecloths in her mouth. Mike then walked over to a humanoid suit, unlike the animal suits those kits were in, that her father had also made, tentatively reaching out to touch the exposed springlocks. Vanessa yelped in horror as she spotted what he was doing, dropping the tablecloths, completely losing her composure for a split second, yowling “Don’t!”, her ears pressed flat against her head. She shook her pelt as she regained her composure, her blue eyes wide as Mike stopped in his tracks. “I wouldn’t do that. They’re springlocks. They tend to be pretty unstable.” Vanessa explained, her voice low. “Let’s see.”

Vanessa took the middle of a broom in her teeth, jabbing the handle into the suit, wincing as it snapped the broomstick into pieces. She saw fear, surprise, and suspicion flash across Mike’s face as she turned to face him, dropping the broom.

“As I said, unstable.”

Mike paused for a moment, flicking his ear as he stared at Vanessa, the growing suspicion rising in his pelt. “Is there anything else you want to tell me about, Vanessa?” He asked slowly. “Since you seem to know everything about this place.” Vanessa studied him, her mouth slightly open to file back a retort, seeing the hackles rising on his back as more anger and suspicion grew on the security guard’s face. “And what if Abby had come in here? What if she’d found that thing?” The brown tabby tom’s voice rose higher, nodding his head towards the suit.

“You’re the one who brought her Mike, not me.” Vanessa countered, her voice low and shaky, lashing her tail in frustration. He’s not listening! “What I still can’t wrap my head around is why.”

Mike shifted his gaze towards the ground, deep in thought on whether to tell her or not. He then explained to Vanessa how his dreams were more vivid and how he felt closer to finding his brother just by being here.

Mike has to stop this. Abby- him- they’re both going to be killed!

“Mike, you need to drop this.”

“Honestly, I don’t really see how it’s any of your business.”

In a flash of cream fur, Vanessa closed most of the gap between her and Mike, anger boiling in her as she drew her mouth into a snarl. “I’m telling you to let. It. Go.” She recoiled away slightly in shock, shrinking inwards as she quickly moved back in a flash, staring at the floor, her pelt hot with embarrassment, turning her back on Mike.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Someone…” Vanessa said softly, in an almost kit-like voice. “Someone who’s trying to help.” She stumbled slightly as she stiffly strode away after she had picked up the tablecloths again.

Vanessa wiped away the tears that had welled up in her eyes with the back of her paw as she walked away from the storage room, her back on Mike as she tried so hard to shove her feelings back down and force her fur to lay flat again. Her anger had gotten to the best of her. You’re just like your father.

“Vanessa, wait!

Vanessa flinched as Mike caught up to her, tugging on her foreleg, facing him.

“Talk to me.”

She wiped her eyes again, looking away. “I’m trying— you’re not listening.”

“Please. Finding the guy who did this is the only thing that matters to me,” Mike meowed, staring at her.

“You… you don’t understand.” Vanessa shook her head, glancing at the children’s drawings, frowning.

“Then explain it to me!”

Vanessa opened her mouth before closing it again, closing her eyes as she shook her head.

❆ ❆

Abby had gotten hurt. And it was her fault.

Vanessa knew Jeremy had not meant to hurt her, but she knew Je- Bonnie’s– the name made her sick, erasing the name of the kit she’d once known– guitar had malfunctioned earlier on Mike’s first night… Why couldn’t she have warned the kit sooner? Why couldn’t she have stopped her?

“Go home, Mike. Take care of your sister.”

“What are you so afraid of? In the storage room… I saw your eyes. You were terrified.”

❆ ❆

She had found Mike’s unconscious body just outside of one of Freddy’s and she’d taken him to the police supply outpost, patching him up. The kits had given him so many wounds and injuries, controlled by her father. His brown fur had been soaked in his blood when she’d found his limp and battered body. She heard him stirring awake and walked back into the room. “Careful,” Vanessa meowed as he got to his paws, wincing in pain.

“Where are we?”

“Police supply outpost. I found you and you… you were… badly hurt.”

“They tried to kill me, Vanessa.” Mike stared at her with his amber eyes, the she-cat dropping her head as she averted her gaze.

“But I’m guessing you already knew that. Max. Her brother. And the other men. Did you know about them, too?”

Vanessa opened her mouth as she lifted her head, looking at Mike’s amber eyes with her tear-filled blue ones. “...It’s… It’s complicated.” She mewed softly after a few moments.

“Complicated? More complicated than a bunch of ghost kits murdering innocent cats?”

“They- they weren’t innocent!”

“Well, Abby is!”

Vanessa shrank away, staring at the ground as her eyes swam in tears, flinching away every time Mike would raise his voice.

“You saw her play with those things. You knew what they were capable of, and you didn’t say anything.” Mike spat in anger, stepping forward. Vanessa took two steps back. “Mike– please– just—”

“Abby’s in danger!”

Vanessa took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm down. “…Tell me what happened.”

Mike paused for a moment, staring at the ground. “In my dream, they wanted Abby. And I… gave her to them. It was a mistake, and when I tried to fix it…” Mike raised his gaze towards Vanessa. “What do they want with my sister?”

Vanessa shifted her eyes, not answering his question for a few minutes as she took in deep breaths.

“They want to make her… like them.”

She shifted on her paws as she paced back and forth, a dark look on her face as she grimaced.

“In the ‘80s, when those kits went missing… The police searched every inch of Freddy’s, from top to bottom. But… they never found them. The man who took them… he was… a very bad man. A very… cruel man.”

Vanessa knew she was visibly trembling, her voice shaky and soft. She didn’t care, wiping her eyes once more with the back of her paw. He’s going to kill me. What will he do if he finds- no, he will find out. I’m going to end up just like my brother.

“Also a very clever man… He knew the parents would cry and the police would come looking. He knew there was one place that the police would never think to check. Because… why would they?”

She raised her head to face Mike. “Why would anyone?”

❆ ❆

Vanessa felt like a little kit again, her head hung low and slightly tilted to the side, a weak smile on her face. “You have to understand… the kits.. The kits don’t want to hurt anyone, It’s him. He influences them somehow.”

“Who?”

“It’s not their fault!” Vanessa was almost pleading, urgency in her voice. “They were scared and alone, and they didn’t know any better. You have to believe me.” The words were like a double-edged sword. She wasn’t just talking about the kits.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know any better.

The she-cat shrank inwards towards herself, hot tears streaming down her face. She was shaking badly, backing away from Mike, consumed in her pain and sorrow. “He took everything from them that they don’t remember.“

“Who, Vanessa?”

“I tried to warn you… I really did try. But it– it’s too late now. He knows you’re looking for him.”

“You need to tell me who he is.”

Vanessa looked away, her vision blurred with the incredible amount of tears that fell down her face. I’m going to die. I’m going to get hurt. I’m going to end up like Cassidy. Thoughts raced through her head, echoing over and over as she held back her sobs.

“His name… is William Afton.” Vanessa could barely choke her words out, closing her eyes, still not meeting Mike’s amber eyes. A bright light shone above her head as she sat on her hindquarters.

“He’s my father.”

❆ ❆

Vanessa held a piece of paper in her paw, sliding it towards Mike. She knew he wouldn’t be happy seeing what was in the photo. It was her, as a kit, almost 6 moons old, holding the toy plane her father had given– had murdered Garrett to give to her in her jaws, with a big yellow rabbit beside the small kit. How many kits had been killed, had been robbed of their belongings, just to give to her? How many?

Mike took a step back as he dropped the photo to the ground, lifting his head to look at Vanessa.

“You… knew.”

“Mike…”

“You knew? This whole time. My brother, you knew.”

Vanessa shook her head, lowering her eyes as she shifted on her paws. “N-not about Garrett, no. At least… not when we met.” Please. “I’m so, so sorry…”

“Tell me how to stop them. Tell me how to save my sister!”

Like a kicked dog, Vanessa shrank even more, her teary blue eyes so wide as she quavered, telling him how to deactivate the suits but that it was only temporary.

“Come with me. You owe it to me and you owe it to them.”

No, I can’t. I can’t- Please.

Vanessa stumbled on her paws as she backed away from the brown tabby, shaking her head violently. “I- I can’t. If… if he’s there… I…” She weakly murmured as tears rolled down her cheeks. A thud came from behind her as she slumped against the wall, sinking in her paws. “I won’t be any use to you, believe me.” Use. She’d always had to prove her usefulness to her father. She had to be useful, otherwise, he’d kill her, disposing of and throwing away his toy once she’s lost her usefulness. Vanessa silently sobbed, her mouth drawn back, her eyes swimming in her tears. I know what crazy looks like, Mike.

“He really messed you up, didn’t he?”

❆ ❆

Vanessa heard Mike’s paw steps leave the police supply outpost and the sobs she had suppressed spilled out of her mouth, filling the room. They echoed back at her, almost mockingly, taunting her as she sank to the floor, collapsing, burying her head into her paws. She was supposed to be a good girl. She was supposed to obey her father.

What was a broken dog to its master? Useless. One that needed to be put down.

Even now, Vanessa could feel his piercing, icy blueish-purple eyes glaring at her in the shadows, feeling as if he was there. As if he was over her shoulder, his dagger-like eyes stabbing into Vanessa’s fur, trained on her, watching her every move. She could taste the sickly scent of blood and death again, the scent emanating from him.

❆ ❆

What did she have to lose anyway? She’d lost everything. Her father, her brother, her friends. She had to save Abby and Mike. She had to stop him from hurting anyone ever again. Maybe that’ll make up for the things she’s done.

Vanessa got to her paws, wobbling slightly as she closed her eyes. She shook her fur out, wiping the tears that stained her face with her right paw, taking shuddering breaths and walking out of the building.

❆ ㅤ

“I need to go get you somewhere safe so I can help your brother, okay?”

Vanessa watched as the tortoiseshell kit scrambled away to hide, looking so much like herself as a kit. She closed her eyes, getting on her paws, padding towards where Mike and William were, sealing her fate, the hands of death clamping around her.

Abby’s said brother was lying limply on the ground, blood running down the left side of his head, covering his eye as he lay there, unconscious. She watched as her father— the yellow rabbit— raised his right paw, his claws catching in the light. “Farewell, Michael Schmidt.”

A rush of adrenaline kicked in as she drew her lips back in a snarl, unsheathing her claws, trembling.

“That’s enough!”

The yellow rabbit paused, slowly lowering his paw that hung dreadfully over Mike’s body.

“A little old for temper tantrums…” The rabbit turned, changing back into her father. Vanessa shook even harder at the sight of him. “…aren’t we, Vanessa?”

Death and blood reeked from the cat before her as she felt bile rising in her throat.

“I’m not kidding, Dad.”

William pointed a claw at her as he sneered. “You may have forgotten your loyalties, but I assure you, they—“ He nodded towards the stage, where Bonnie and Freddy stood watching. “—have not.”

“Mike!”

Vanessa stared in horror as Abby ran out of her hiding spot, bounding towards her brother’s unconscious body. “Please, wake up!” Abby mewed as she tried shaking Mike, but to no avail.

“Now… help me clean up the mess that you created!”

“Please, please Mike, please…”

She could only watch the sight of Abby pleading for her brother to wake up, unable to meet her father’s piercing eyes, her body trembling even more.

“Oh come on… we both know you won't—“

Vanessa darted forward, slashing at his chest. It took out a few tufts of fur, but didn’t do anything to stop him. In fact, it made him much, much angrier. Bonnie and Freddy flickered for a second, appearing to be the ghosts of Jeremy and Gabriel before the kits changed back to the blue rabbit and the brown bear.

Don’t disobey him.

Her father charged at her, baring his teeth, reeking of that awful scent. He jabbed his claws at her chest. She flinched as he got so close to stabbing her, but still holding his gaze. “You had one job, one! Keep them in the dark, and kill them if they got too close.”

A flare of resistance welled up inside of her as she spat, “That’s two jobs,” lashing her tail.

Her father grabbed her by the throat, wrapping his left paw around her neck, his claws digging into her fur. Before she had a chance to react, he slammed her into the claw machine behind her. Vanessa let out a yelp of pain, gasping for air as his hold tightened around her throat, thrashing weakly in his paws. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at her father’s purple eyes, her ears pressed flat against her skull, looking like a wounded and cornered dog. “Dad…”

He didn’t budge, tightening his grip around her throat, snarling. Vanessa could barely breathe. Then, suddenly, Vanessa saw that something caught his eye as he turned, his mouth slightly agape. He dropped her onto the ground, and she hit the floor with a crack. She weakly raised her head, turning to see what he’d seen.

It was Abby, carrying a drawing in her mouth. She had gone up to the wall that was full of kits’ drawings from back when Freddy’s was open. The kit tore the drawing Vanessa had made so long ago off the wall, and Vanessa watched her father take a step towards the tortoiseshell kit.

No, stop! I can’t- Abby can’t get hurt.

With a surge of energy, she grabbed onto her father’s right hind leg, wrapping her paws around it.

“No!”

“Let go!” He snarled, lashing his tail in anger. Her father grabbed her once more, lifting her up as her paws flopped in the air. With a flash, he dove his head down onto her neck, sinking his fangs into her fur.

Vanessa’s face turned pale as she felt thick, coppery liquid fill her mouth, She let out a short gasp, staring at her father.

I have to make this worth it.

Her father grunted as he tried tugging away, but Vanessa wrapped her forelegs around him. She wouldn’t let go. She couldn’t let go.

“I won’t let you hurt her, too.”

❆ ㅤ

She’d always known it’d end up this way. One fess up and she’d end up like her brother. She was shacked, harnessed to her father’s paw. Every time she’d try to escape, he’d find her. He’d tug on her leash, her chains, and send her back to him once more.

Vanessa struggled under William’s grip as she tightened her wrap around his neck, almost like a hug. I love you, Vanny. She could barely hear the roar of anger that came from his mouth as the action had made him sink his teeth deeper into her throat, the cry rippling through her fur. Black spots started to dot her vision as her face grew paler and paler, blood flooding out of the neck wounds he had given her. He beat at Vanessa’s back, clawing tufts of fur out in frustration, but Vanessa wouldn’t relent.

I love you too, Dad.

She could feel her strength sapping as her grip grew looser around her father’s neck. Her body was slick and coated in red, blood dripping down her father’s mouth and flowing from her wound. Vanessa’s arms started to drop away from him, her face now a stark white. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she weakly mewed like a little kit, her eyes glazed over in pain, tears streaming down her face.

“Get off me!”

William ripped his head out of Vanessa’s neck, blood splattering his face as he grabbed her tail in his teeth, a loud crack sounding out as he flung his daughter to the side, spitting out the bloody fur he had in his mouth. Vanessa felt a blinding sear of pain as she heard the sound, losing her sense of balance. She collapsed onto the ground, pressing her right paw against her neck to try to stop the bleeding, coughing up the hot iron-tasting liquid, blood pooling beneath her.

Is this what love is?

Her vision flickered as her eyes grew heavy, feeling pain everywhere in her pelt, slipping in and out of unconsciousness.

Vanessa slid her paw away from her neck.

~

@send-me-a-puffalope HERE IT IS!!!

KILLS MYSELF <333 I’M SO PROUD OF THIS FIC SCSHCSOHVSHOVS

i finished it a few hours ago but was scared to post it 💀

constructive criticism is appreciated!!

[bside-cassette]

This is both a love letter and a retelling of @fakecrfan 's Constructor/Architect story, but set in my own superhero universe. She has a specific identity in this, as unfortunately, you can't really have the reader *be* the main character in a visual format, but I hope that's okay with you :)

-----------------------------------

My name is Na Su-Yung. Two years ago, I thought I was a normal person. Another mortal. Another drop in the ocean, looking up to the clouds. To the gods living amongst us. Until I found out that I'm nothing like the ocean around me. I was different. I was an Anomaly.

I was just a college kid in Cosmopolis, another normal human who was awestruck every time I saw The Guardsman zoom across the city, or see a news report of Nitrous' crime-fighting shenanigans in Sunset City, all the way on the other side of the U.S. Another fragile human being, merely made of flesh and bone and nothing else, that cheered each time The Vanguard came together to save the world.

When an attack on Cosmopolis by the villain Sergeant Steel destroyed the foundations of my apartment and others in my neighborhood, I thought I was gonna lose everything. That I was gonna die. I just accepted my fate as the floor began crumbling beneath me. To my surprise, however, it seemed that the entire building was frozen in time. I stopped it from falling. I gave other residents enough time to escape to a safer area. I was a hero, even if no one, not even I, knew what I had done.

I spent time exploring my abilities in my free time between lectures. I don't know why, but it took me months, nearly a year, to be able to control the same amount as I did when I first gained my powers. So I started small. I floated pebbles between my hands, then on a single hand, then I was able to attract them to my hands from a few meters away. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I didn't feel weak, or pathetic, or forgotten. For the first time, I felt like I could be more than myself. And so I did.

I'd go to places in Cosmopolis where Guardsman had recently done battle against one of his rogues. I'd studied architectural engineering thoroughly before going on my first outing, so I was able to reconstruct a lot of the buildings in a few weeks. Just the broad strokes, though. I couldn't get the electrical or water systems down, so I just left a lot of the buildings with hollow walls to let the actual electricians and plumbers do their work.

Still, no one gave a shit about me. I was just some rando in a washed-out CSU hoodie and sweatpants.

I eventually realized that I would probably be able to work better if I had the blueprints for the buildings. Just walking up to wherever they keep them and asking for them probably wouldn't work well, so I planned. Well, "planned" is glorifying it. I did the first thing that popped in my head: make a costume to get attention. And so I did.

I was never the artsy type, so I just bought a wetsuit and mask online. But it worked. After the metas had their fill of fighting, I'd arrive on the scene and start working. The bigger news reporters would keep their focus on Guardsman or Harddrive or whoever did the day-saving, but the smaller news organizations turned their focus to me. Knowledge of my presence was slowly increased, especially online. People on Reddit and Tumblr took to calling me either The Constructor or The Architect. I took up the latter.

One day, when even the larger news networks in Cosmopolis had turned their attention onto me, someone came up to me. She told me her name was Sandy and that she had a proposition. She'd be my manager, managing any relations or exchanges I don't have the time to deal with, and helping me with marketability. I took her up on her offer. She made me a new suit, talked to the city to get blueprints, and whatever else. It's been a while, I've forgotten a lot of what we did.

Hero teams contracted me to restore their headquarters, standalone heroes and vigilantes needed help with rebuilding their bases, cities wanted cheap labor. I did it all. I finally felt like I was contributing to society. That I mattered. I was finally told that I mattered. Until the day I chose to do what I knew was right.

Cosmopolis, despite what outsiders think it is, is just like any other city. One side of the city is covered in skyscrapers, the other in slums. Struggling people who can't escape their situations, whether that be out of discrimination, mental disabilities, mental illnesses, addiction, criminal affiliation, they all live with constant strife.

The worst part of it all, however, is that I'm just like everyone else. Every time I passed one on the street or from inside a cab, I looked away. Seeing them suffer under the city's hand tore out my soul. It didn't matter that my reasoning was different from those who averted their eyes out of spite or disgust, I still looked the other direction. I refused to be like them. To kick them while they're already down. So I started building them up, literally.

I'd scour throughout the city, look through sites listing run-down neighborhoods or buildings, and I'd go there. I'd tear them down and build them back up. I gave people places to stay, where they wouldn't go cold or without a bed for the night. I gave them the kindness that might help them stop simply surviving, and finally begin living.

Then the comments came. Middle and upper class began shouting their complaints online and in my face, whether personally or through a reporter. They hated seeing people, who they deemed "undesirable," getting any help. Giving some cash was already too much for them to handle, so I can see why they saw this in such a bad light. Why their hateful eyes had seen this as a sin.

I went to interviews and I kept trying to get my viewpoint out there. No one listened. No one cared. All they saw was filth getting help by more filth.

So I made shelters around the city in places no one would notice. Rooves out of land in the parks, more empathetic architecture. I removed the spikes underneath bridges that prevent people from getting shelter from the rain and made the benches softer for those who had no beds. But still, no one gave a shit. The city made laws against how much anyone could alter it. I gave up on that.

I was sent death threats. I was told that I was helping the scum grow. That I was making Cosmopolis shine less. It didn't help that Guardsman was comatose from a battle for nearly 6 months at that point. It meant I had no one, not even the hero of heroes, the embodiment of infinite kindness to everyone, to back me up. I was alone. I stopped everything. I pushed away everyone. I fired Sandy, apologizing every second of it. I basically disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Then I heard that they were building a stadium on the Southeast Side. Displacing hundreds of people. Their hope being snuffed out by the fat cats on the top of the totem pole. I wouldn't stand by it. I came as fast as I could and I tore it all down. Every beam and panel and every square inch was just rubble when I was finished.

M.I.R.A. was contacted after the cops weren't able to get me to stand down. They trapped me in an Akonite cell in Pandora's Box. The media labeled me as "a false hero," "a fallen angel," "a wolf in sheep's clothing," "a villain." I just wanted to make things better. With The Vanguard keeping their eyes on the larger threats, and each individual member focusing on the broad strokes that are their respective cities, there were barely any who were looking out for the little guy. That's all I wanted to be. The one to look out for the everyman, the people on the streets. My people. I wanted to take care of my neighbors, friends, and loved ones. But I guess all people care about are themselves.

I eventually found that Akonite didn't work on my powers. How or why, I don't know. Maybe it was because it was just another mineral. Maybe it just didn't have an effect on me. Either way, I knew that this wouldn't stop me. I'm The Architect. I'm a hero. I won't let corruption, greed, and cruelty hinder that. I'll dissent from the indifference. From the apathy. From the fear of helping my city.

[ozonecologne]

So, I love animation history, and I've been watching a lot of forgotten animated films for the last couple of weeks...

Fire and Ice (1983): the rotoscope thing is very interesting. I love Darkwolf's design and how hot Teegra is in those early scenes, but not much else. It looks too much like He-Man and the plot drags. 2/10

A Troll in Central Park (1994): charming at the heart of things. Especially with Dom DeLuise as Stanley -- what a comforting voice from my childhood. "Anything that's real starts with a dream." I do very much wish I could live in an underground garden paradise like a little socially awkward troll. 4/10

The Princess and the Goblin (1991): a little bizarre and not very compelling, but I love the bits with grandmother Irene. The way that the attic is animated to transform into an Edenic homestead is so beautiful. 4/10

Quest for Camelot (1998): have you ever wondered what Sinbad would have looked like if they had like half the budget and story? Eric Idle is going to hell. I want to fuck the griffin. 3/10

The Ringing Bell (1978): it's considered a classic for a reason! The idea that you create what will destroy you, and love it for doing so... the idea that when you force yourself to grow up you can never go back... There will come a time when you don't fit into your old life anymore, and you did that to yourself. You destroyed what part of you was innocent and belonged here, but you've also turned your back on the world that changed you. So where do you go? What are you now? What good is a strength that requires you face the world alone? 9/10

The Sea Prince and the Fire Child (or, The Legend of Sirius) (1981): a Romeo and Juliet retelling that kind of dragged, to be honest. I love the way that the fire is animated and the underwater backgrounds; they're whimsical but there's a real primordial quality to them that I like, because the ocean is weird! The sea god design is excellent and there are some sea creatures that are truly delightful, like the bunny fish and whatever Mabuse is supposed to be. Sirius is offputtingly noodly though, and he's 80% of the movie. Didn't love this one. 5/10

Faeries (1981): I cannot believe how they pronounce "Niamh" in this. The folklore designs are really cute though. 2/10

Freddie as FR07 (or, Freddie the Frog) (1992): terrible. I should make a video essay about this film because it is batshit insane in like the worst way. Completely not worth your time but I'd love to tell you about it sometime. 0/10

Felidae (1994): what is it about violent cat series that get at me!!!! A gory noir film made about cats solving a series of cat murders? Some of the imagery really was wild here; I loved the nightmare with Mendel and the puppet corpses. Trauma and eugenics and vengeance at the heart of this one too, the villain was without a doubt a monster but you still felt for them anyway. Decently scary and well-paced, a great tribute to the source material. Also, uncomfortable cat sex scene. 7/10

The Last Unicorn (1982): all of my female friends apparently decided to watch this one at the same time, and we all got weirdly emotional about it. To escape a fetishized genocide your body is violated and turned into something that will no longer interest the conquerers. You do not want this change because this is not your body. Every day is a torment knowing that you slip further and further away from what you know you are. Every day you forget more and more of what you used to be. Eventually, you wouldn't want to go back even if you could remember. Even if you are not happy, you are safe. You are alone, all alone with the ghosts that haunt your footsteps. 9/10

The Plague Dogs (1982): GOD ok. These poor things. These poor dogs haunted by pain that they don't deserve -- "I'm a good dog." "I don't think they're doing it because they think you're a bad dog." -- and are just trying to live a good life once they escape their captors. One of them even remembers life before the torture, when he had a comfortable home and love. But now he thinks it's his own fault he's lost it. They wander the wild, hopeless, unloved except by each other, and what can they do? The world is so much bigger than them. Every decision that shapes their lives is out of their hands, and has nothing to do with them. They're cursed by the narrative. They didn't ask for this. They don't even know what they're doing out here, or where they're meant to go; they have no purpose and no reason to keep fighting for their own survival except that it's the only thing they know how to do. You start this life treading water and you end it treading water. The water swallows you all the same. 10/10

Rock a Doodle (1991): Elvis chicken???????? 5/10

Happily Ever After (1989): truly one of the most bizarre films I've ever seen. A sequel to Snow White that quite literally no one asked for and no one saw coming. I am forever haunted by "dwarfelles." I do love the prince's grubby little creature design though, he's so cute! 1/10 for him only.

Once Upon a Forest (1993): I remember so vividly watching this one when I was home sick from school one time. I don't why it stuck with me; it's not very good. 3/10 because cute animal designs

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1989): gorgeous. adorable. such beautiful paintings and incredible character design! there were so many people connected to this project and it's such a labor of love. it has such a ghibli style and feel about it even though that's not technically the studio that produced it! 8/10

I also tracked down some of The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993-1995), but I'd love to watch the whole thing sometime. The Redwall series is also on my list, I loved those books as a kid.

Definitely taking recommendations! Have you seen any weird animated films you need to inflict on others?

[victoria--ft-9801]

Missing scenes from TBB

Part one: Phee shows Tech that emotions aren't completely bad, and sometimes, it's okay to express them.

Tech scrubbed at his tired eyes with his "clean" hand before continuing to work on The Maruder's hyperdrive. If these modifications worked, it might shorten the delay between when he pulled the gear to go into hyperspace and when the engines actually got them into hyperspace.

In english, he was trying to make the acceleration stronger on the hyperdrive.

Or, you know, trying to get his mind off... everything.

With his twin, Crosshair, gone... things were different.

But emotion was illogical, and a waste of time to contemplate or think about, so when Tech rubbs his eyes again, it's because he's tired and not crying, thank-you-very-much.

As Tech continued to make modifications on the hyperdrive, he heard footsteps approaching. The most likely cause would be Hunter, asking for his thoughts on something, needing to know some facts about the next assignment they had in a few days, or nagging him to take a break.

"Whatcha doing there, Brown eyes?" Or it could be Phee.

"I am rerouting the connection system on the hyperspace engines to allow for greater acceleration." Tech answered, pleasantly surprised it was Phee. Phee was always a good listener, even if Tech suspected that at times she didn't know much more of what he was saying than his brothers did. She was good at finding things to add to the conversation, even if every retelling of her tales got more outlandish. It was simply how Phee was; Tech wouldn't let them change that about her for anything in the galaxy. Except, maybe, to have everything be okay for once... but that was besides the point.

"You wanna come see the sun set? Your brothers are already on the shoreline." Phee was good at getting people to socialize, however, Tech wasn't in the mood.

"I'm quite alright, thank you. I'd like to get these modifications done before the next mission, and it will take some time."

Phee chuckled, grabbing Tech and tugging him along. "Come on, a couple minutes won't kill ya!" Phee trailed off seeing his red eyes. Red because he was tired, thank-you-very-much. Nothing else. Because emotion is illogical. "You okay?" Phee asked, stopping in her tracks and looking Tech in the eyes.

"I am quite alright, thank you," lies. "Just tired." Why was it that Tech hated making her worried? Why was it that lying and saying he was fine seemed so much worse when it was to her?

"If you need to talk about it, I'm here." Phee said. Tech was puzzled. Phee used the same, worried tone that his brothers sometimes did, but he didn't know Phee as well as his brothers. How could she care enough to be so worried?

"Talking about such illogical things such as emotions is almost as much of a waste of time as letting them affect your life is." Tech stated simply. "But as I said previously, I am okay. Simply in need of a good night's rest."

"Talking about emotions is a good, logical way to work through them. Just ignoring them means eventually it'll be too much. But do what you want, brown eyes. Just know I'm here."

She... had a point. It might be... helpful to get some of it off Tech's chest, even for a little while.

"I suppose you have a valid argument." Tech began, feeling tendrils of anxiety at the prospect of talking about emotions. "I've just been... upset. About my twin, Crosshair, leaving us."

---------------------------------------------------

Part two will be Tech actually telling Phee about Crosshair, I think. Hope you liked it! Requests comments and reblogs are open!

-Victoria

[the-nysh]

Would it be ok to start my path to the trigun hell hole with trigun stampede? I just KNOW that this show would consume and hurt me in many ways so any advice would help. Thank you.

👀👀!! Oh yes, absolutely you can - because for many newcomers who never got the chance 20+ yrs ago, Stampede was their first introduction to the series! So you wouldn't be alone there. :3 (I grew up with the 98 anime however, so that one was my first.) Stampede's also likely the shortest time-investment too, at a speedier 12eps for the current season vs the 98 anime's longer 26eps. So you're very welcome to try that when braving your first Trigun plunge~

Just note that every iteration available (old anime, new anime, manga) is different, with regards to their own plotlines and modified characterizations, so you'll gain something new out of all of them on each watch or (re)read.

For example, Stampede draws its lore/inspiration from the completed Trimax manga (but does not follow the exact same plotline; Stampede is its own separate retelling, not a 1:1 adaptation), which was not possible when the 98 anime was made, as the manga had not been completed yet. So the 98 anime adapts the first few manga vols (along with inserting many fun/silly slower character building eps, before switching to darker/heavier content in the later half) and has its own unique anime-original lore & ending (kinda like how the first fma did it), but the themes it presents are still quite solid and universal, so it's very worth a watch too! Even though yes, some parts are noticeably dated with 90s tropes (which you can 100% safely ignore, as both Stampede & Trimax Vash are not like that), just so you're aware.

I recommend at least watching the 98 anime before tackling the harder manga though, as the manga greatly expands into territory the 98 anime could never do or show at the time, so if you go say, from the manga to 98 in reverse order, there's a chance you may not enjoy the older anime as much? (Your mileage may vary.) In my experience, I went 98 -> Trimax manga -> Stampede (basically in release order), and since Stampede is very much a love letter + passion project for both new/older fans alike to enjoy, it's full of references to spot if you're already familiar with the series. I had lots of fun catching those (ep12 alone is like AAAA!!! *____* with so many Trimax elements thrown in) So you can start with it AND rewatch Stampede a 2nd time after completing the manga too, to get the most out of it! :D (Plus, the Stampede story isn't even over yet; it was more like a deliberately planned prelude, with plenty more endgame Trimax material to possibly explore in future seasons. You'll see when you get there~)

As for the manga, it begins with 2 volumes titled Trigun, before switching genres/publications to a darker/heavier seinen retitled Trigun Maximum (abbreviated as Trimax), which continues the same story right where the other vols left off, and for many fans, is considered to be the definitive Trigun ~experience~ (that'll change your life~)

It can be a difficult read, with regards to the serious subject matter presented and even for comprehending the vaguer 'up to reader interpretation' scenes (bc you can't speed-read this; there are times you may have to pace yourself with breaks to process if needed, and bc the expressive artwork itself does much of the talking through strong vibes and impression, which requires your full attention to grasp what's happening.) And since Nightow, the author, rarely draws speech bubbles with directional tails to indicate who's talking - cues which instead are understood thru context and the characters' unique accents/speech patterns, which while obvious in Japanese, is a much harder challenge when translated into english. So if you ever feel lost/confused by what's happening with the need for clarification, there's many bookclub fans here, including the main fan translator, who'll gladly help you out!

Be prepared for much mental trauma, emotional damage, character death(s), morality/reality checks and pain and suffering abound....but it's done in a very cathartic, soulful, healing way...where you suffer and heal in the same boat along with Vash instead of leaving you permanently hurt, it may leave you coming out of it feeling quite changed and enlightened refreshed and comforted by its messages instead. :')) (I've seen plenty who consider it their comfort manga bc of this, as well.) The enduring good faith Vash has in humanity, pursuing kindness as a choice for a better future (where things are not doomed when there's always a second chance to continue), and the ability to survive and recover from almost impossible, terribly hopeless (to downright suicidal) odds are what resonate strongly with me. :'3 Again, it's an ~experience~ you just have to feel to decide for yourself how it impacts you. But for some extra reassurance, the ending is not a tragic one, but something more bittersweet leaving off on a positive note, which is most importantly, hopeful. I hope you enjoy it!

And just fyi, after personally reading and comparing both the official Darkhorse and the Overhaul fan translations, I highly recommend the Overhaul manga over the official one for a much better time (since the official tl unfortunately has many mistakes, missed line callbacks, and misplaced speech bubbles, etc leading to more confusion, so yeah!) You can find the nicely accessible Overhaul manga translation (plus it seems there's plans for an improved ver2.0 fan translation in the works), along with their online reader too, right over here~

[luminouslumity]

THOUGHTS ON: ARIADNE and ELEKRA

So I've reentered my Greek myth phase and I just want to talk about these two books for just a second!

First off, look how beautiful the covers are! And second, out of all these authors who've been retelling the Greek myths, Jennifer Saint is definitely one of my favorites! Something I've always hated about a lot of retellings (even with ones I've liked) is how characters are brought down in order to elevate the likability of another, even if that character has had no basis of being petty or cruel previously. And honestly, I probably wouldn't find it nearly as irritating as I do now if it weren't done with the same characters over and over again, with many of these stories having absolutely nothing new to say! Because then it just feels less like the author is trying to be revolutionary and more like they're just following a trend. And where's the challenge in that?

Enter Ariadne, a story all about challenging perspectives, about how appearances can be deceiving, even those made by the decent ones. Of course, you have Theseus with his abandonment of Ariadne after building himself up to be the greatest hero since Heracles, but later on, you also get Perseus; whom Ariadne comes to despise both because of his beheading of Medusa and because of his refusal to let his people worship Dionysus... until she actually meets the guy and finds that not only is he actually really nice and in a very complicated situation, but she herself even acknowledges that her perception of heroes may have been warped because of what Theseus had done to her, all while still having Perseus as an enemy.

As for Elektra, I actually liked it more than I did Ariadne, but also didn't, if that makes sense. So take Helen for example. How many times have we seen her as either vapid or selfish, someone who doesn't care that lives were lost in her name? Well, in this book... I wish we could say we get the opposite of that, but the thing is, this portrayal of Helen has very little personality to even speak of other than being nice! Seriously, even what led her to run away with Paris is treated with complete ambiguity! Like, I prefer it to her being demonized (Atwood, Miller to an extent) or desperately longing for freedom to the point of selfishness (Gill, Heywood), but that's not really saying much, is it?

Compare this to the Epic Cycle, where we get scenes like this:

Then Iris went as messenger to white-armed Helen, in the likeness of her husband’s sister, the wife of Antenor’s son, she whom Antenor’s son, lord Helikaon, held—Laodike, most outstanding in beauty of all of Priam’s daughters. She found Helen in her chamber; she was weaving a great cloth, a crimson cloak of double thickness, and was working in the many trials of the Trojan horse-breakers and bronze-clad Achaeans, trials which for her sake they had suffered under the hand of Ares. Standing close, Iris of the swift feet addressed her: “Come this way, dear bride, and see the marvelous deeds of the Trojan horse-breakers and bronze-clad Achaeans, who earlier carried war and all its tears against each other into the plain, in their longing for deadly battle; these men now sit in silence, the war stopped, leaning on their shields, their great spears fixed upright beside them; and Alexandros and Menelaos beloved by Ares are to fight with their great spears on your account; and you will be called wife of that man who is victor.”

So speaking the goddess aroused in Helen’s heart sweet longing for her husband of old, her city and her children.

[...]

“Honored are you to me, dear father-in-law, and revered, and would that evil death had pleased me at that time when I followed your son here, abandoning my marriage chamber and kinsmen, my late-born child, and the lovely companions of my own age. But that did not happen; and so I waste away weeping. [...]”—Homer, Iliad (trans. Caroline Alexander)

And this:

“Come here; Alexandros summons you home; he is there, in his bedroom, on his bed that is inlaid with rings, shining in beauty and raiment—you would not think that he came from fighting a man, but rather that he was going to a dance, or had just left the dance and was reclining.”

So she spoke; and stirred the anger in Helen’s breast. And when she recognized the goddess’ beautiful cheeks and ravishing breasts and gleaming eyes, she stood amazed, and spoke out and addressed her by name:

“Mad one; why do you so desire to seduce me in this way? Will you drive me to some further place among well-settled cities, to Phrygia or lovely Maeonia? Perhaps there too is some mortal man beloved by you—since now Menelaos has vanquished godlike Alexandros and desires that I, loathsome as I am, be taken home. Is it for this reason you stand here now conniving? Go, sit yourself beside him, renounce the haunts of the gods, never turn your feet to Olympus, but suffer for him and tend him forever, until he makes you either his wife, or his girl slave. As for me, I will not go there—it would be shameful—to share the bed of that man. The Trojan women will all blame me afterward; the sufferings I have in my heart are without end.”

Then in anger divine Aphrodite addressed her: “Do not provoke me, wicked girl, lest I drop you in anger, and hate you as much as I now terribly love you, and devise painful hostilities, and you are caught in the middle of both, Trojans and Danaans, and are destroyed by an evil fate.”

So she spoke; and Helen born of Zeus was frightened; and she left, covering herself with her shining white robe, in silence, and escaped notice of the women of Troy; and the divine one led her.

When the women arrived at the splendid house of Alexandros, the handmaids swiftly turned to their work, and she, shining among women, entered into the high-roofed chamber; then laughter-loving Aphrodite, taking a stool for her, placed it opposite Alexandros, the goddess herself carrying it. There Helen took her seat, daughter of Zeus who wields the aegis, and averting her eyes, reviled her husband with her words: “You’re back from war; would that you had died there broken by the stronger man, he who in time past was my husband. Yet before this you used to boast that you were stronger than Menelaos, beloved by Ares, in your courage and strength of hand and skill with spear; go now and challenge Menelaos beloved by Ares, to fight again, face-to-face—but no, I recommend you give it up, and not fight fair-haired Menelaos man-to-man, or recklessly do battle, lest you be swiftly broken beneath his spear.”—Homer, Iliad (trans. Caroline Alexander)

And if you want to look beyond the Iliad itself, there's also this:

Next comes the Little Iliad in four books by Lesches of Mitylene: its contents are as follows. The adjudging of the arms of Achilles takes place, and Odysseus, by the contriving of Athena, gains them. Aias then becomes mad and destroys the herd of the Achaeans and kills himself. Next Odysseus lies in wait and catches Helenus, who prophesies as to the taking of Troy, and Diomede accordingly brings Philoctetes from Lemnos. Philoctetes is healed by Machaon, fights in single combat with Alexandrus and kills him: the dead body is outraged by Menelaus, but the Trojans recover and bury it. After this Deiphobus marries Helen, Odysseus brings Neoptolemus from Scyros and gives him his father's arms, and the ghost of Achilles appears to him. Eurypylus the son of Telephus arrives to aid the Trojans, shows his prowess and is killed by Neoptolemus. The Trojans are now closely beseiged, and Epeius, by Athena's instruction, builds the wooden horse. Odysseus disfigures himself and goes in to Ilium as a spy, and there being recognized by Helen, plots with her for the taking of the city; after killing certain of the Trojans, he returns to the ships. Next he carries the Palladium out of Troy with help of Diomedes. Then after putting their best men in the wooden horse and burning their huts, the main body of the Hellenes sail to Tenedos. The Trojans, supposing their troubles over, destroy a part of their city wall and take the wooden horse into their city and feast as though they had conquered the Hellenes.—Proclus, Chrestomathia

And this:

Concerning Aethra Lesches relates that when Ilium was taken she stole out of the city and came to the Hellenic camp, where she was recognised by the sons of Theseus; and that Demophon asked her of Agamemnon. Agamemnon wished to grant him this favour, but he would not do so until Helen consented. And when he sent a herald, Helen granted his request.—Pausanias

Say what you will about society in Ancient Greece, but it really is sad when the source material is even slightly more progressive than the retellings are, such as when Helen tries to resist Aphrodite. And that's not to say Helen has never been given a more assertive personality before, but when she is, it's usually at the expense of making Menelaus a terrible husband (again, Gill, Heywood). The only other one I can think of that even comes close to this without attacking another character is The Private Life of Helen of Troy by John Eriskine, and not only did it come out in 1925, but it's a sequel anyway too.

Going back to Elektra, I'm surprised there has yet to be a generational series on the House of Atreus as a whole, because wow did I forget how messed up this family was and I love it! You've got your family drama, your betrayals, your cycle of vengeance! And with Pelops' line specifically, it all leads up to a mother avenging her daughter and a daughter avenging her father. It's perfect! But seriously, if anyone knows of a show or book series covering Tantalus and his bloodline, please tell me!

Which brings me to Agamemnon, whose portrayal here I found to be interesting. So something about Elektra is that it's told from three different PoVs, and because of that, each views Agamemnon in a certain way: to Clytemnestra, he's the proud warrior who killed their eldest daughter; to Elektra, he's the kind father whom she misses dearly; to Cassandra, he's her captor and destroyer of her city. And even then, we still get these tiny glimpses of his true self beneath his usual stern exterior—that of an insecure man who's desperately trying to make something out of his family name after reclaiming his home, a name that had already been cursed since long before he was born. But maybe he can change that by gaining glory in war... even if it means sacrificing his own daughter for a fair bit of wind.

Then you have the clear parallels that are drawn between Clytemnestra and Elektra as the book goes on, simultaneously sympathizing and condemning both for the actions they take. Even Aegisthus probably would've been seen as a hero if this were any other story. And I feel like this is true to the original Oresteia as well, how not one person can be categorized as being solely a hero or villain, but human.

So go ahead and give me the love story of Hades and Persephone, but remember that it's mournful Demeter's tale as much as it is theirs.

Give me the stories of the women and goddesses who have long been ignored throughout the centuries, but remember that it's possible to write such tales without having there be a need to drag those around them down.

Give me love, give me drama, but most of all, give me understanding and complexity.

And going back to the books themselves, honestly, if there was anything negative I had to say about both of them is that the myths are retold pretty directly for the most part, something I myself didn't actually have much of a problem with, but I understand may be a turn-off for some people, especially if you're looking for something a little more deviating from the source material in terms of characterization. Also, for some reason, both Greek and Roman spellings are used, instead of just sticking to one, hence why I've been using Elektra instead of Electra, but not Klytemnestra and Kassandra for, well, Clytemnestra and Cassandra. Not unique to Saint, but still no less jarring.

Like I said, of the two, Elektra was probably my favorite, but there were still a ton of problems I had with it, some more nitpicky than others, I'll admit. I already went over my feelings on Helen, but besides that, seeing more of Elektra's relationship with her father before he goes off to war would've been nice to see too. I also feel like if each book absolutely had to be named after a single character, then I kinda think this one should've been called Clytemnestra instead since it really did feel more like her story than Elektra's, at least for me. Some parts also felt a little rushed, especially with how the final chapter just jumps from Elektra getting her revenge to the epilogue describing what had happened afterwards instead of actually showing it, which makes me wish this book had either been a little longer or divided into a duology—one part focusing on Clytemnestra getting her revenge while the other is focused on Elektra's, similar to how Aeschulys divides them in his Oresteia trilogy. Or if neither of these solutions while still keeping the book at the same length, then maybe Cassandra's PoVs could've even been saved for her own book instead.

Speaking of Cassandra, there's also the fact that her fate ends up being a mercy kill rather than the cold-blooded murder it was in the original, basically absolving Clytemnestra of any wrongdoing when it came to this. Admittedly, I wasn't as annoyed over it as I could've been and the choice made sense to me as far as the presentation of the characters in the novel are concerned, but at the same time, it'd be nice to see more retellings actually portray Clytemnestra as so far gone by the time Agamemnon returns that she ends up killing an innocent in cold blood rather than just being a mournful mother out for revenge. Seriously, it's possible to do both.

And as for Elektra herself, the fact that it is very heavily implied she has the complex that's been named after her is just... no. And if that's the case, here's hoping Saint never does an Oedipus retelling. I can handle it with the gods because they're gods, but not when its mortals.

Also, the fact that Theseus isn't even mentioned once in Elektra despite the fact that he (and Pirithous) tried to kidnap Helen when she was twelve always felt like a missed opportunity to me, especially considering the book was published after Ariadne, where Theseus is of course a major character and him and Pirithous trying to kidnap Persephone is actually mentioned. It wouldn't have added anything to the story, but I still think addressing that little connection would've been neat.

And yet despite all of this, I still loved it, as well as Ariadne, flaws and all. But here's hoping Atalanta will be even better!

[sketching-shark]

Do you think its funny that the fandom treats the Monk kinda the same way he treated Wukong, he kinda deserve it but can we at least something different about him (like I don't see anyone make bug jokes or about all the poetry)

AUGH well anon as I've said before I'm well aware that the internet is were nuance goes to die & while yes I know fandom is a place were people often just want to have fun & not think to hard, I do find it funny but also increasingly frustrating how even though fandom often purports itself as a place of massive diversity more and more it seems to be structured around creating an Official Version of characters' personalities & relationships rather than trying out many different things, or even considering the implications of the source material.

Now of course it has to be acknowledged that a lot of this is often due to what's in the canon work itself (like Wu Cheng'en himself seems to have deliberately written Tang Sanzang in large part as a caricature of fussy Confucian scholars), but in addition I feel like the popular understanding of a character as one extreme or another goes double for stories where the only easy access that an audience may have to it is from translated works or from cartoony retellings. Speaking for myself for example it's been pretty wild having gotten into Journey to the West before Monkie Kid came out & now it often seems like the lego show version of the story (well that and the sarcastic youtube retelling) is the only version of Xiyouji that people in the western internet audience primarily know/care about. But I'm coming from a position where I had the time & access to both read through the entirety of the Anthony C. Yu English translation (which as per usual I need to remind people you can access for free in PDF format on multiple posts on this hellsite) as well as was able to access some of the scant few scholarly works in English about the story. And that's just not something that a lot of people know about or have access to.

As such, it's pretty understandable why many people wouldn't know about all the poetry because well that's never even been brought up in the versions of Journey to the West that they've encountered, or wouldn't make bug jokes because there's little mention of Tang Sanzang having been Golden Cicada in any retelling that they've seen, or if it is it's just presented like fun trivia rather than one of the primary reasons why Tang Sanzang was even chosen to be on the journey in the first place (or what the religious significance of the cicada was in China). Add everything that can easily get lost in translation to the further simplification that cartoony retellings demand, and you can see why many people's understanding of the Tang monk would just be "whiny idiot who's constantly getting himself kidnapped, falling off his dragon horse, & torturing the monkey," especially since between Sun Wukong and Tang Sanzang the monk is by far the more static character (although a lot of Chinese retellings add scenes of him actually recognizing he was wrong & apologizing to the monkey in a reversal of the simplification trend afeawsdf).

Plus, well, I mean it's not like a cartoon is going to include all those scenes of Tang Sanzang tied up & sobbing his eyes out because he's literally in a gore-bespattered cave surrounded by yaoguai who plan to eat him, and they're especially not going to include the times when he's sexually assaulted. In a different approach than usual these things and the resulting trauma could be presented as explanations (but not excuses) for Tang Sanzang's ongoing hostility towards Sun Wukong (who lest we forget is the first yaoguai to try to kill him), but doing that well takes a level of nuance and care that's vanishingly rare in both big budget & fanon retellings of Xiyouji. Hell, in retrospect it's not even handled that well in Xiyouji itself, as if memory serves correctly the kidnappings & near death/consumption are mainly just framed as things that the monk needs to endure to get to the next stage in the journey, and Sun Wukong even makes fun of Tang Sanzang after he was molested by a female yaoguai for an entire night.

So YEAH I often do wish that Tang Sanzang was treated with more nuance (like I would LOVE to see a retelling of Xiyouji where he's more of an intelligent rule-breaker like the historical Xuanzang), but between how he was written in canon & the tendencies towards tropes & simplification in both big-budget retellings and fanon tendencies you can see how he would end up Journey to the West's Most Hate-able Character.

[one-thousand-and-one-fandoms]

I first watched Titanic when I was 6 years old. I didn't understand a thing, but it looked cool, I guess. Then, in middle school, my friends and I watched it at a sleepover and, like millions of preteens before us, thought Leo DiCaprio was dreamy as Jack and that Rose and Jack were the truest love ever to be found and we all wanted a relationship like that.

Now I'm twenty seven. And the 25th Anniversary came up. And I watched the movie again. Since my middle school days I've had my first love and my first heartbreak, and I've lost a lot of the friends I had back in middle school, I moved to a different country and got a new life; not unlike Rose did (except, of course, for surviving a historical shipwreck. I did not do that). And so, now my viewing experience was massively changed.

For starters, I realized that one of the underlying themes of the movie, brief as it is, is grief. Because one cannot think of the Titanic without thinking of the millions of lives lost that night. We know of some survivors, but the majority of people in the ship died and we will never know their names, what they liked or disliked, what their favorite food was, their hopes and ambitions for the future, their families, etc. These lost souls, in my interpretation of the film, are represented in Jack: at the end of the film, a wisened, older Rose retells his story and one of the members on board tells her: "We've never heard of a Jack Dawson before," and Rose, resignedly, replies, "No, you wouldn't have... now he only lives in my memory. I don't even have a picture of him." (I'm paraphrasing.) How many real people sank in the Titanic whose memory was forgotten by man?

Secondly, I realized that Jack and Rose's love story is beautiful in that it is brief. It embodies Carpe Diem. Live like there's no tomorrow, and for Jack there really wasn't. And isn't this something people love to criticize about the move? About how their relationship wouldn't have withstood the test of time as their class differences would have come between them? The truth is that we will never know what would have happened had Jack survived, but we do know how this relationship pulled Rose out of a very dark place in her life and taught her that she does have autonomy and she can make decisions even when they go against her familial and societal expectations. It helped her become her own person and grow as a result.

I remember my first love and my first heartbreak. Nothing quite as dramatic as Jack dying on the freezing water of the North Atlantic, mind you, but then it really did feel like the world was ending. Him and I stopped talking. As our friend group was very much intermingled, I ended up kind of isolated, mostly because I couldn't bear the awkwardness, and a few years later I moved and lost all contact with all of them. In a new country, I had to learn a new language and make new friends, find a new job and support myself all on my own for the first time. It was daunting. I can imagine Rose might have felt similalrly, on top of grieving her first love.

And that's the last thing I took from my latest viewing of the film. Life and love go on. Rose grieved and then found a new love, made a family and did all the things she wanted to do in life. She didn't let her grief consume her. And, contrary to popular belief, I believe she did, honestly and truly, love her husband and didn't just marry "some bloke" to honor her promise to Jack. I also underwent a period of adjustment and eventually met and married my husband a few years ago. It's not the same as my first love because first loves are always more intense and emotionally charged, but it is better in that it is more mature and more settled. Now my first love seems kind of childish in retrospect, but also tinted with nostalgia. I think the actress who played elder Rose portrayed this kind of feeling beautifully in her last scene.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Feel free to leave your own thoughts.