#it wasn't until later on did she learn this about herself.

[drunk-person]

Bravery in love

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x wife!reader

Summary: For Prince Aemond Targaryen, bravery was in war and fighting. Until he met his wife and learned about different forms of bravery.

WARNING: No age restriction. Unhealthy amounts of cuteness and softness, a tiny bit of pain, and one paragraphs of sexual innuendo.

Word cont: 3.500 k

Author's note: Okay I saw a really cute video of a baby discovering that she could move her legs whenever she wanted and she was so cute and I ended up writing this story which is basically a giant fluff hahahaha. English is not my first language so be kind if you can 💕💕.

♡-♡-♡

The sun was already high in Kings Landing on a beautiful warm spring day, the beauty of the season lifted everyone's spirits, but no one had a bigger smile than Princess Y/n, Prince Aemond's wife as she ran to the bedroom door to tell them to call her husband.

The two had been married for two whole years at this point, an arrangement made between Aemond's grandfather and her father. Initially Y/n was apprehensive about the marriage, considering the many terrible stories she had heard of women who had married before her. But upon meeting Prince Aemond, her heart melted for him before she even realized it.

He seemed cold and hard at first when she arrived at the capital, but then suddenly he was so shy and so sweet when they were alone in the garden to talk for the first time. And when Y/n said she liked stories, he smiled, turning his face to the side and told her that he also really liked stories.

Later that night, when Y/n returned to her room, she found a book with a black leather cover and the title "Rhaenys, the bravery of love" next to a very small blue flower. The young lady thought she would faint right there when she touched the soft petals of the flower.

Then came the wedding and after that nothing but happiness with her husband. Every day the two became closer and trusted each other more, to the point that Aemond told her his deepest sorrows and she in return confided hers, and little by little she realized that everything her husband wanted most was just be loved, and that's what she did, she loved him.

Y/n felt happy in a way she never thought would be possible, there was only one problem, it had been a year since the wedding and her belly still hadn't shown any signs of growing. And it wasn't as if she and her husband weren't trying, after they both became acquainted Aemond became thirsty for touch and planted his seed in her every day, sometimes more than once a day, which made her even more worried.

The cruel whispers had already taken over the fortress. Words like "infertility" and "dry womb" became common when they thought she wasn't listening. And as broken as Y/n's heart was, she tried hard to pretend to her husband that it didn't hurt that much. She knew how much Aemond wanted a child, and it was her duty to give him one, guilt plagued her when she thought about it, thinking that she couldn't do so little for a husband who gave her everything she asked for without blinking.

On a winter afternoon with the weather colder than usual in the capital, Y/n was sitting alone in the garden admiring a pair of nightingales that had made a nest in a nearby tree when she felt Aemond's soft but possessive touch pulling her towards him.

-What are you doing here in this cold weather? You'll freeze. - His low voice sounded against her ear and she just smiled weakly.

-I like coming here, it's where we had our first conversation, remember? - She looked at him. - It always makes me happy to think about that day when I don't feel cheerful.

-And why would the most beautiful lady in the realms be sad? - Aemond looked at her deeply, Y/n felt as if he saw through her soul and still trying to hide his sadness, he looked down at the ground.

-Wife. - His gloved fingers guided her chin up and she couldn't escape his gaze again. - I know something is wrong, tell me.

And Y/n could no longer contain herself, the tears that were very well kept ran loose down her face as she hid them in her husband's chest, sobbing and trembling while holding on tightly to him, as if he would evaporate before her.

-I'm sorry, husband! - She sobbed against his chest.

-Y/n, my dear, did someone hurt you? - His voice sounded calm but with barely contained anger as he pulled her closer and closer in an act of protection. - Tell me who it was and I will kill him myself.

-No one has hurt me, husband. - She leaned against him, still pulling on his jerkin. - It's just me and my apparent inability to grant you a child.

-It is not up to you to grant me a child. - He said, looking at her firmly as he brought his hands to her face. - That depends on the will of the gods, when they feel it's time, they will send us a son. Until then, I don't want to see you crying because of this. - He stroked her cheeks with his fingertips and Y/n smiled, her face still slightly wet.

-Now let's go in and have some tea, I don't want you to catch a cold. - He guided her inside by the waist.

That night, amidst moans and groans of love and burning passion, Rhaenys was conceived to the joy and pride of her mother and father.

To Aemond's relief, Y/n had an easy and uncomplicated pregnancy; she just had a burning desire for him and wanted him inside her every hour of the day without rest, something he granted without discussion after a extensive research to find out if it would not pose a risk to his wife or the baby.

The birth was not much different, it was late summer and the weather was starting to get cooler, but even so, it was a difficult time and Aemond did not leave Y/n's side at any time, and the maesters did not dare ask him to leave the birthing chambers more than once after the absolutely deadly look Aemond gave them at the first request.

And when Y/n cried and told her husband that she was scared, he grabbed her hand tightly and whispered only for her to hear.

-I know you can do it, my sweet girl. - Leaving a kiss on her sweaty chest.

-I am not as brave as you. - She cried while shaking her head and holding onto her husband's hands.

-Remember that there is also bravery in love. - Aemond spoke softly, but confidently as he squeezed her hand.

And after hearing that with restored strength at the thought of her little baby, Y/n pushed even harder as she screamed through the pain and could finally hear the sweet cry of her little girl. At that very moment she burst into tears of pure relief and emotion, and when the maester placed her in her arms wrapped in a bloody white cloth she could swear she saw her husband shed a tear or two too.

And with passionate smiles the two chose the name of their little daughter in honor of the conqueror who gave the title to the first gift that Aemond gave her on the day they met. And from that sweet moment on, little Rhaenys became the pride and joy of both their lives.

Almost 7 moons later, already in spring Y/n now felt that her happiness was complete. The sparkle in her eyes could be seen from miles away as she played with her little daughter who had begun to sit up on her own. With each new discovery Rhaenys made, Aemond and Y/n celebrated as if it were a victory in a tournament.

One of the sweetest moments was the day she discovered she could control her own legs. It was something so simple, but so sweet. They were sitting on the bed talking while Rhaenys absentmindedly played with a small wooden sculpture in the shape of a dragon, using it to scratch the teeth that had bothered her since birth.

Suddenly, when they both looked, Rhaenys was laughing as she slowly raised her left leg and watched with a look of delight, only to do the same with her right leg and then lean forward trying to grab her own legs, smiling and babbling.

They both smiled and looked at her full of love, everything was perfect and Y/n had never felt so good in her life. Except for the fact that two days later she discovered that the court had not stopped talking about her. Y/n was walking distractedly towards her own chambers when she heard the whispers and low laughter of other ladies.

-So long to be able to give the prince a child and when she does, it's a girl. - The mockery was clear in that voice.

-Poor Prince Aemond, how much longer will it take until she can give him an heir? - Another lady laughed while whispering. - He'll have to settle for just a daughter, it seems.

Y/n felt her eyes watering at the same moment and accelerated her pace towards the rooms while breathing deeply trying to contain her tears and with a deep sigh she entered her own chambers while wiping away a tear that escaped. As soon as she raised her head and looked at the room she almost smiled at the scene before her.

Aemond sat on the carpet with his long legs crossed with his little Rhaenys held in his arms, his voice sounded softly through the room and now Y/n smiled genuinely when she saw what he was doing.

-Say Kepa. – Aemond smiled gently at his daughter. - Kepa. - He spoke more slowly while gently caressing the child's back.

Her husband was always trying to teach her to say "father" in Valyrian, and the little girl just babbled as she stuck her fingers in her mouth and smiled toothlessly at her father. Aemond swore that she was almost able to do it and that she had even said a syllable to him when they were alone. The prince, feeling like he was being watched, raised his head and smiled softly when he saw his wife standing near the door.

-Your muña is back byka sõvion. (Little butterfly) - He murmured softly to his daughter as he gently shook her and made the little girl smile. Aemond's loving gaze gradually faded as he noticed his wife's melancholy and he carefully placed Rhaenys on the carpet, leaving a soft kiss on the crown of her slightly curly silver hair.

-Umbagon va se ritz byka sõvion. - (Stay on the carpet little butterfly) He whispered as if his little daughter could understand every word and she just screamed and babbled while slapping her hands on the carpet.

The prince walked slowly to his wife and pulled her closer to him, caressing her hips with the tips of his thumbs.

-What's wrong, Issa jorrāelagon? - Aemond murmured against her forehead, leaving a kiss there and then brushing his nose against hers.

-People can be very cruel sometimes. - She sighed against her husband's neck, and Aemond felt his own blood burn in his veins at the prospect of someone being cruel to his Y/n.

-Who had the audacity to say anything to you? - Aemond's voice was restrained, but anger dripped from the corners of his lips and Y/n just shook her head quickly as she laid her head on his chest.

-Just nasty whispers.

-What kind of whispers? - He continued with his voice carefully restrained as he pulled her closer and closer, holding her tightly.

-Does it matter to you that I gave birth to a girl? - She looked him in the eye with pain. - Would you rather have had a son?

-Sīkudi nopāzmi. (Seven hells) - Aemond practically growled with his face contorted with rage as he held Y/n's face firmly between his palms. - Qilōni istan se wretched gīs qilōni naejot vestragon bona naejot ao? Ivestragon issa ābrazȳrys! (Who was the wretched soul who dared to say that to you? Tell me, wife!)

Y/n looked at him confused, not understanding what he had said other than ābrazȳrys. And breathing deeply, trying to control his own nerves, Aemond repeated more calmly while rubbing his wife's arms gently.

-Tell me who was wife. - He asked, looking deeply into her eyes. - Who dared to say such a thing to you?

-I just heard it when I was passing by. - Y/n had seen who it was, but she wouldn't tell him because she knew her husband would do something about it.

Aemond snorted again and pulled her back to him.

-Wife, I don't want you to listen to such nonsense ever again in your life. - He murmured to her. - You and our daughter are everything in my life, and although I wish to have more children, if we had no more besides Rhaenys I would be the happiest man in this cursed land for having you.

-To issi issa glaeson. - He sighed as he tucked a lock of Y/n's hair behind her ear.

-What does that mean? - She asked slightly emotional.

-You are my life. - He repeated, looking firmly into her eyes as he squeezed her hands in his. - And there is nothing I value more than you and our byka sõvion.

He smirked as he looked at Rhaenys who had laid down and was now trying to shove her own foot into her mouth while spluttering and laughing.

-You know me better than anyone else, wife, and I'm honest when I tell you that I've never been happier in my entire life than I am now. Our family brings me joy.

The smile on Y/n's face could warm even those beyond the wall as she jumped on her husband and hugged him happily.

-I love you, husband. - She sighed against his neck, Aemond didn't respond, but he never responded, at least not with those exact words, his heart was much more complex than that.

More moons passed, and Aemond became increasingly enchanted by his daughter, his eyes shining with each evolution and discovery that the little girl made. He never wanted to miss anything, he liked to be there for every little new thing and he made it clear to Y/n that she should call him anytime and that's what she did on one special day.

-Send for my husband! As soon as possible. - Y/n hissed at one of the maids who was passing by the hallway. The young woman nodded and ran without even looking back towards the training courtyard to look for the prince.

-Your grace, forgiveness for the interruption. - The girl said, looking at the ground. - But your wife urgently requested your presence.

Aemond's chest was briefly breathless when he heard that, and without caring about anything else, he dropped his sword on the floor and ran towards his own chambers.

He entered the room calling for his wife with wide eye, but his expression changed from fear to curiosity when he saw her with her index finger against her lips in a clear sign of silence for him, while with her other hand she pointed to the foot of the sofa where Rhaenys was standing for the first time as she tried to walk on her own.

Aemond's jaw dropped, and he felt tears coming to his eye, his little girl was almost walking.

-You forgot. - Y/n smiled and gently pulled off her husband's eyepatch, throwing it on the table. She had convinced him not to wear it around Rhaenys. At first he hesitated, but it proved to be a good thing since the little girl was completely enchanted by the sparkle of the sapphire in her father's eye, always reaching out her hands towards him and gently rubbing the area while she babbled. And Aemond wouldn't admit it out loud, but that small gesture of affection made him feel loved in a whole new way that he had never felt before.

Still with tears in his eye, Aemond turned away he slowly approached the couch as he crouched down next to his daughter, who, upon seeing him, screamed with excitement and took an excited step towards him. And as if all of this wasn't the most magical thing that had ever happened to him, Rhaenys began to babble as she tried to walk towards her father.

-Ke - She babbled waving her free hand towards him and Aemond felt his heart warm. - Ke-pa.

-Konir sagon paktot byka sõvion, māzigon tosh kepa. (That's right, my little butterfly, come with daddy) - He whispered to his daughter with a slightly cloudy voice.

-Kepah! - She screamed in that sweet baby voice as she took her hand off the couch to clap her hands and before she could fall on her butt on the floor, Aemond caught her, preventing her from falling while two tears ran down his eye. Rhaenys looked at him with wide eyes, a little scared after almost falling, but Aemond caressed her back affectionately, calming her.

-Ziry iksos byka sõvion, kepa kessa dōrī ivestragī ao ropagon. (It's okay, little butterfly, daddy will never let you fall.) - He smiled as more tears fell and Rhaenys looked at him enchanted as she once again caressed the sapphire attached to her father's eye. - Dõrī. (Never) - He reaffirmed with a look of pure love.

Rhaenys had said her first words and Y/n did not understand what her husband was saying to her daughter, just a few words that he had already taught her and the sweet nickname he gave Rhaenys, but her heart was so warm that Y/n thought it might be on fire. She could see the love overflowing from her husband's eyes in an uncontrollable way and at that moment Lady Y/n knew that only she and her little Rhaenys were enough.

About a moon later Aemond decided it was time to introduce his daughter to Vhagar. And after a short trip in the house on wheels and a walk along the edge of the royal forest they arrived at the immense dragon. Y/n already knew her, she had even flown on Vhagar with Aemond, but even so she was a little afraid for Rhaenys, something that she told herself was completely unfounded because of all the people in the world she knew that the only one who would never do anything that could put her Rhaenys at risk was Aemond.

The prince had barely approached the dragon with his daughter and she was already looking at him curiously, still with her head lying on the meadow. And while Aemond spoke to her in Valyrian, Y/n just smiled in love, the smile only got bigger after Rhaenys laughed and screamed as she took her little hands to caress the dragon's scales while babbling some incoherent things to her father.

-She'll be a formidable dragon rider one day. - Aemond stated seriously as he smiled sideways at his wife who just rolled her eyes unable to imagine her little girl on a beast that size, but she knew she had to get used to the idea, she was a Targaryen after all.

-If she's as good as her father, she'll be the best of them all. - Y/n smiled as she caressed her husband's back and left a kiss against her daughter's soft hair.

At the answer, Aemond smiled and pulled her by the waist closer to him and his daughter while leaving a sweet kiss on her lips.

-You've told me more than once that you're not brave. - He murmured against her lips as he gently brushed his own lips against hers. - But you were brave to love me when no one else tried. Thank you for being everything I wanted, everything I needed.

After saying that he extended a small flower with blue petals to her and smiled a little shyly as he made Rhaenys more comfortable in his arms.

And with tears in her eyes, Lady Y/n reached out and took the small, soft flower between her fingers, then hugged him and her smiling daughter, knowing that in her husband's strange and rigid language, that was an I love you.

Since Aemond was courageous enough to ride huge dragons, engage in sword duels and so many other dangerous things, but simple words terrified him. She didn't need them, she knew how to read her husband's heart, eyes and actions that told Y/n every hour of every day that he loved her, and even if he didn't love her, she was brave enough to love for both of them.

And with that thought she smiled and kissed him sweetly on the lips as she held both him and her precious Rhaenys close, her beloved most precious possessions.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Miracle

Aitana Bonmatí x Baby!Reader

Summary: You're a miracle

Aitana didn't take days off.

That was something Keira knew.

Aitana refused to take days off even when she was sick and injured. She always arrives ready and willing to train even though everyone knows that she'd just be sent home.

It's why this past week has been strange.

Aitana didn't come into training once. There was no hide or hair of the girl. Her phone immediately went to voicemail. The lights in her house were always off.

If there weren't still Bonmatí shirts in the kit room then Keira could almost believe Aitana never existed.

It was strange and off putting, especially because whenever she asked, Jona would respond that Aitana was off for personal reasons.

None of it made any sense until all of a sudden it did.

Keira was running later, tripping over her own feet as she hurries out of her car. She slams the door shut as she hefts her training bag over her shoulder.

The sound of another door slamming shut shocks her and she whips her head up to see which of her teammates would be having to run laps with her.

She spots Aitana though.

Aitana who is juggling three different bags and a baby.

"Aitana?" Keira asks," Are you okay?"

Aitana looks half to tears as one of the bags fall. She shakes her head.

"I've got it," Keira says," Come on. Let's get you inside."

Aitana doesn't speak as they both make their way to the empty locker room. She doesn't really do anything apart from occasionally holding you closer, breathing in your soft baby smell and pulling back with tears in her eyes.

"So..." Keira feels awkward. This wasn't how she thought her day would be going. "Are you babysitting?"

Aitana's bottom lip wobbles as she glances at you, shaking her head and Keira doesn't push about it anymore.

"Are you training today?" She asks instead," Or is this just a visit?"

"Training." It's the first word Aitana's said to her all morning and Keira counts it as a small victory.

Her friend looks distraught but you seem fairly happy on her hip.

You're sucking on your fingers and looking around, eyes wide as you garble out half words and sounds. Your happy smiling face changes though when you notice Aitana isn't smiling.

Your whole face scrunches up and you recklessly lean towards her to press what is more an open-mouthed breath than an actual kiss to her cheek.

That causes the tiniest of smiles to appear on Aitana's face. "Sí, thank you, estrella."

You giggle, kicking your little legs as Aitana moves to exit the locker room, Keira hurrying to trail behind.

Jona welcomes them both warmly and seems to forget Keira being late in exchange for greeting you.

"If you still need time," He says to Aitana," Then you're welcome to take more time off."

"No," Aitana says," I need to be back on the pitch. I...We need normalcy. The books said I need to establish a routine."

"If you need help-"

"Jona, I'll be fine."

"Of course you will but you're not alone in this. I'll help. Irene will help. You only need to ask."

"I know."

There's already a space made up for you in the shade. Aitana doesn't question who brought out the playpen to keep you enclosed but she's thankful regardless.

You'd just begun to learn how to get around by rolling and she doesn't want to have to keep one eye on you for the whole of training.

She doesn't have to do it but she finds herself doing it anyway, like she can't bare to be separated from you.

"Hey," Irene says during a little break," I heard what happened."

"From Jona?" Aitana can't help be annoyed. Jona shouldn't be airing out her personal business to anyone.

"Alexia, actually," Irene says," She said you might need some help."

"I don't need help!" Aitana snaps, fists clenched at her side," It's not the first time I've had her! I can cope!"

"Babysitting is different from being her mother."

"I'm not her mother!" Aitana insists," Her parents are going to wake up! They are!"

Paredes look tells Aitana that she thinks it's unlikely and Aitana regrets ever informing the club about what had happened. She should have known they would tell Alexia who, trying to be the ever-helpful captain, would pass on the knowledge to whoever she felt could offer the most support.

Of course, she went to Paredes, the ever-experienced mother of the group. She could have easily gone to Marta too but with her working out how to introduce Caro to her Conejita, she would be too preoccupied to offer help.

"Aitana-"

"Thank you for the offer," Aitana says through gritted teeth," But I don't need it."

She storms off then, turning on her heel. She barges past Alexia who was hovering nearby, intent on giving her a piece of her mind.

Her mouth is already open to hurl an out of character insult at her captain when she catches onto your wailing. It seems you're a bit out of character too today.

You'd slept horribly last night and the night before. You didn't eat well this morning either and you had cried all through the car journey to training. The happiest you'd been was in the locker room with Keira.

Aitana knew it wouldn't last.

But she couldn't work out what was wrong with you. You're weren't hungry. You didn't need a change. You weren't hurt.

You were just sobbing when she picks you up, hiding your face in her neck and wiping your runny nose with her training top.

"What's wrong, estrella?" She coos," What's wrong? What's happened?"

You sniffle a few more times. "Ta-Ta."

"Hmm." Aitana runs a soft hand over your hair. "You just wanted me, huh?"

"Ta-Ta."

"I understand." She sways you side to side until your sobs have turned into little hiccups of emotion and you're looking up at her with wide, teary eyes.

"Just Estrella and her Ta-Ta," She coos," This is very different, isn't it?"

Aitana sits down on the grass, digging around in one of the bags she brought for your bottle. Your parents had begun to try to wean you but the past week has been so stressful already and she doesn't want to do more to unsettle you.

You suckle aimlessly, one of your hands moving to cover the one of Aitana's that's holding your bottle.

She stares ahead as a familiar face sits down next to her.

By now, she knows that her strange behaviour has spread all over the team. Paredes and Alexia both hover uncertainly nearby like they want to offer help again but don't want to wind her up further.

Across the pitch, Aitana can spot Marta and her Conejita doing arts and crafts together.

It sends a stabbing pain into her chest and the words spill out of her mouth before Keira can even ask.

"She's not mine. I mean, she is but not really."

"Aitana, I don't understand."

"Her parents...my friends..." Her throat closes up. "I was babysitting last week for date night and they...A drunk driver hit them."

"I'm sorry. Are they-?"

Aitana shakes her head. "They're in comas. They put me down as Estrella's guardian. I...They...I'm trying my best."

"I'm sure you are. You must love her a lot."

"She's mine," Aitana chokes out," Biologically. She's mine. They-They couldn't get pregnant and I offered to donate an egg and we agreed I'd be fun Tia Ta-Ta..."

"Oh, Aitana..."

The tears are running down her cheeks now and she's can't stop them.

"They were going to have date night with her last week. They said that they'd find something baby friendly but I insisted. It was so close. She could have...Keira, she could have died."

Keira glances at you. You're so comfortable in Aitana's arms and, now that she's really looking, she can see the similarities between the both of you.

You both have the same crying face.

"But she didn't," Keira says," You were looking after her, Aitana. You had her. You kept her safe."

"Ta-Ta?" Your tone is questioning and your little pudgy hands come up to touch her cheeks.

"I'm fine, estrella," She says to you as her phone rings. She already knows who is calling. Somehow, she already knows what they're going to tell her. "Why don't you hang out with your fun Tia Keira? I'll be back in a second."

"Ta-Ta!" You whine as you're shuffled from Aitana to Keira.

"Just a minute. Then it's Ta-Ta and Estrella time."

As she answers the phone, Aitana knows that's it's going to be Ta-Ta and Estrella time forever now.

[shemybitchhh]

𝕀 𝔾𝕠𝕥 𝕐𝕠𝕦☆

HEADCANONS of you taking care of injured Ellie.

<<Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader>>

☆Ellie, who the first time you two would talk, she would have a rather serious wound on her side. You, being the daughter of one of Jackson's doctors, were always interested in medicine and learned quickly from your father. "What happened?" You asked her, worried as you saw her clutching the side of her muscle shirt that had a huge red stain on it. "Nothing, mind your business." She told you coldly but you stopped her by grabbing her shoulder. "Aren't you going to go to the infirmary?" You asked and Ellie turned her head to look at you angrily. "You don't care what I do." You bit your lip, still worried. "If you don't let some nurse take care of you, at least let me do it."

☆Ellie, who from that day on would notice your presence in every place she went, and when she didn't see you she would look for you until she found you, without knowing why she needed to keep you in her sights.

☆Ellie, who would find you one day treating the wound of a little boy who was crying because of a scrape on his knee. "Shhh, easy little one. Everything's okay." You assured him as you gently disinfected the wound with a cotton ball. "That's it. You're very brave." You told him, making the boy smile a little. Ellie felt her heart warm when she saw that scene.

☆Ellie, who wouldn't know how to start a conversation with you so she would pretend to get hurt just to have an excuse.

☆Ellie, who would start asking you anything no matter how stupid it was just to hear your voice. "So, do you swab the wound with alcohol before bandaging it?" "What's worse, a knife or gun wound?" "Can I drink booze after antibiotics?"

☆Ellie, who would look for supplies during her patrols to surprise you. "Where did you get these?" You asked, looking in surprise at the empty blood bags and clean gauze she had gotten. "They were inside an ambulance a short distance from our checkpoint. Nothing out of the ordinary." She said downplaying it, when in reality she had entered an abandoned hospital full of clickers and runners completly alone, just to get them for you.

☆Ellie, who would invite you over to her room for the first time and you would end up reading her comics together.

☆Ellie, who would ask you what your favorite band is and a few days later a CD of it would appear on your doorstep. She would never take credit for it, although it wouldn't be too difficult to guess.

☆Ellie, who would invite you to have lunch with her in the dining room, after seeing that you were too shy to sit next to anyone besides your dad.

☆Ellie, who would stare into your eyes while you told her the plot of your favorite book. She wasn't listening to a single word that came out of your mouth. Her mind was lost in the vibrant and full of life color of your gems.

☆Ellie, who would tell you her stupid jokes just to hear your laugh.

☆Ellie, who would ask you to teach her first aid so she could take care of herself. Although she would never apply the theory since she preferred to go with you and have you take care of her.

☆Ellie, who would arrive from a patrol almost fainting from the number of infected she had to kill, and you would run up to her so that she could lean against you. "Shhh, easy, I got you." You whispered to her before she passed out.

☆Ellie, who would wake up exalted on the stretcher in the infirmary and the first person she would look for would be you. She would see that it was your father standing next to her, taking her pulse, and she would instantly be embarrassed. "I'll tell her you're awake and to come see you." Your father said with a kind smile, without Ellie having to say anything.

☆Ellie, who would accept your hug without second's hesitation after you ran in to check on her.

☆Ellie, who would start spending some nights at your house, listening to music, talking about irrelevant topics to pass the time, and sometimes even cooking with you.

☆Ellie, who would stare at your lips while you chewed the chocolate she had brought you as a gift. "Want some?" You asked, extending your hand with a generous piece.

☆Ellie, who would act without thinking and would pull you towards her by your outstretched wrist and kiss you, tasting your chocolate-flavored lips.

☆Ellie, who couldn't stop telling you how beautiful you are, loving how you looked away with an involuntary blush.

☆Ellie, who would promise to take care of you from everything, just like you took care of her when she got hurt on her patrols.

☆Ellie, who would hug you from behind with her folded hands after you disinfected her knuckles for the thousandth time, and would fall asleep smelling your scent and pressing you against her.

☆Ellie, who would let you know how important you are to her. "I got you, love."

[hgfictionwriter]

Gravity - Part Two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie learns you're engaged. The lies you've been living implode on you both. It's now or never.

Warning: Smut. Dry humping Simulated intercourse, eventual intercourse, possessive sex, cheating, language.

A/N: Angst with a happy ending. Final part of the series. Part One is here. Jessie and Reader's behaviour in this is not healthy lol but I love the drama haha.

Jessie stared at the screen in her hands and felt numb. She couldn't feel her body and her mind was vacant as she sat there motionless. Her eyes remained fixated on the shine from the newly placed ring on your finger.

Someone else's ring. Not hers.

Jessie had no sense of time, unaware of how long she stared until she managed to click on the comments.

Congratulations!!

So excited for you two!

About time!

Can't wait for my invite!

She swallowed and tried valiantly to ignore the stinging sensation that was building behind her eyes. Her grip on her phone tightened. She didn't notice her knuckles growing white.

This couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. You wouldn't get engaged. Not to someone who wasn't her.

Her breathing began to grow shallow and quick and she ground her teeth together hard. She tore her eyes away from her phone and stared hard at the wall as a cacophony of thoughts and feelings began to churn.

How could you? Was she crazy? All these years, these secret rendezvouses, passion-filled sex with proclamations of love every time. She would've swore you were making love - reconnecting and cherishing each other, small moments of reprieve as you held each other between the droughts of separation. She would've gone to her grave believing that your eyes were filled with love for her.

Maybe she'd been lying to herself this whole time.

Maybe she was just a fool.

A wave of anger and devastation went through her and her shoulders shook as she choked back a sob. She sniffled, making the mistake of letting her gaze fall back down to her phone and the image of you and your girlfriend - wrong - fiancée. Another strangled cry formed in her throat before she angrily forced it down.

She really thought you'd wait for her. At least some deep-seated part of her did; that you were just killing time with these girls. A distraction while she was away. That's all her girls ever were. They were never meant to replace you; simply pass the time and give some semblance of normalcy every so often.

Anytime anyone got too close, she'd use her career and her schedule as an excuse to not go deeper. In her mind, she really saw herself coming home to you at the end of it all.

Tears fell onto her screen, distorting the image of you. She screwed her eyes shut.

She didn't understand. If you didn't feel the same way, then why did you come back to her every time she was in town? Why would you jeopardize your relationship? It didn't make sense.

Maybe it really was just fucking. At least for you.

She sniffled, again clenching her jaw as she tried to keep the full weight of her emotions at bay. She exhaled shakily as she started a comment on her phone.

Congratulations

No. She could hear the bitterness.

Congrats

No. Even worse.

Eventually, she settled for a heart emoji. She hoped you knew it should've been the opposite.

And, maybe she was a sucker for punishment.

Jessie clicked off her phone. Full sobs finally wracked her body as she tried to process. Maybe even grieve.

--------

The months passed and the news of your engagement was still a dull ache in the depths of Jessie's chest.

You'd texted her along the way and she left you on read. Something she'd never done. Jessie felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment and dejection at how much effort it took to do it. It should be easy to cut you off completely.

You'd texted again a week later to ask how she was. Jessie chose to lean into the anger she felt and ignored you once more.

You followed up again.

Please don't do this.

Jessie felt an insidious sense of vindication at how you chased her. As superficially fulfilling as it was, she didn't like this side of herself.

One night Jessie was at home relaxing after a hard day of training. She should be sleeping, but truth be told, she hadn't really slept well in months.

She didn't like lying awake in bed, so she'd gotten up and was instead immersed in her book on the couch. She was about to flip the page when her phone began to ring. She frowned and glanced over at it.

She froze momentarily when she saw your name on the screen. She subconsciously reached out, her hand hovering over the phone before she managed to pull back. She huffed in irritation before resettling herself on the couch and determinedly returned to her book until the buzzing of her phone stopped.

A mixture of relief and loss went through her when silence filled the room once more. She clenched her jaw as she tried to center herself.

You never called. And especially not at this hour. Her latent anger was briefly replaced by worry. Were you okay?

Before she could spiral too much her phone lit up again with your name.

Jessie studied the device wordlessly as your name was displayed insistently. She swallowed and her hand shot out sharply to pick up the phone. She was going to regret this.

"What."

"Jessie." If you were bothered by her antagonistic greeting, you didn't show it. Her name came through with a blend of relief and emotion.

"What." Jessie's response was harsher this time.

"You haven't talked to me." Your voice was small and Jessie frowned. It wasn't like you. Yet, she let out an abrasive scoff.

"Yeah? So what."

"I can't stand it," you said, a waver in your voice.

Her features screwed up in anger and she shut her book with a slam, abruptly pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the couch cushion. She shouldn't engage, but all of the pent up feelings she'd worked tirelessly to dampen came boiling up.

"Well maybe you should've thought of that before," she said venomously. You didn't reply right away and Jessie swore she heard you sniffle. It put a chink in her resolve. A deep frown lingered on her face, but her posture softened just so. "Why are you calling."

"I need to see you," you said, finding your voice again.

Jessie shook her head in confusion. "What the heck are you talking about."

"Can we talk? Can I come up?" You pleaded. Again, Jessie's face screwed up in confusion.

Jessie clicked her tongue in irritation. “Even if I was willing - how would you propose that, hm?”

"You didn't hear?" You asked. "I'm in town."

Jessie was beyond baffled now. You answered her question before she could ask.

"I planned for my bachelorette to be here," you went on quietly. Emotions flared up inside of Jessie again.

"Well that's a fucking coincidence," she said snarkily.

"It's not." You undermined her sarcasm without hesitation. She swallowed again and closed her eyes.

"So. Wait. Where are you?"

"Outside your apartment," you said quietly again. A beat passed. "I got your address from Teagan."

Jessie didn't know what to feel. She was outraged, but it was dampened by something else. She was so overwhelmed right now she couldn't discern how to react.

She raked her fingers over her face tiredly. “Your fucking bachelorette,” she muttered in a mixture of bitterness and disbelief. She took a sharp breath and continued.

"And where are you friends? They just let you leave your own bachelorette?" She questioned curtly.

"[Y/best friend] knows where I am." You replied. Jessie knew her - she’d been your best friend for years, meaning Jess had been friends with her at some point, too. "She's covering for me."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jessie said as she let herself fall back against the couch and held a hand wearily to her face once more. This was insane.

"Jessie. Please let me in."

A whining grumble emerged from Jessie's throat and she inadvertently dug her fingers into her face before growling and standing up like a shot off the couch.

"Fuck," breathed harshly. "Jesus. Fine. I'll buzz you in."

A short while later, Jessie paced the entrance of her apartment back and forth as she waited for you to come up. She cursed herself and cursed you, but she also couldn't ignore the way her heart raced and something akin to anticipation filled her.

Her eyes flit to the door as a light knock came through. She stood motionless for several seconds before she cleared her throat and walked over. She took a deep breath before placing her hand on the door knob and turning it.

She clenched her jaw unknowingly as her eyes fell upon you standing before her. You were in a dress and your hair and makeup was done up, but it still didn't hide the subtle bags under your eyes. Seems like you hadn’t been sleeping well either.

You held Jessie's gaze wordlessly, silently seeking her permission to come inside.

She eventually cleared her throat once more and stepped aside to make way for you. You flinched slightly as Jessie shut the door behind you harder than necessary. When you turned back to face her, she was standing there arms crossed and feet planted, a stern look on her face.

"Well. You're here. What do you want." Her voice was anything but inviting and a far cry from the tone you were so accustomed to with her.

“I needed to see you,” you repeated. Jessie narrowed her eyes.

“Why?” She exhaled, her voice growing cold. “We have nothing to do with one another anymore.”

Your gaze dropped immediately and Jessie saw your jaw tighten. You eventually met her piercing gaze once more.

“I-I don’t think I can stand that. I thought I could. But…I can’t.”

Jessie tossed her hands up in frustration. She was normally pretty composed during confrontations off the pitch, but you had her feeling out of control.

“What do you want me to say to that?" She laughed incredulously. "That we can keep fucking a few times a year, texting in between and everything can stay the same?” She paused briefly, fighting off a sudden pricking sensation behind her eyes. She took a breath. “Now that I know how you actually feel, there’s no way.”

“No, Jess-” You took a step forward, causing her to take a quick step back. You stilled. “Jess. I know how it seems. I never lied to you. I just…,” you trailed off.

“Just what?” Jessie cut in acidicly after you took too long to find your words. “And you did fucking lie. Because if you love someone you don’t go off and marry someone else.”

You gave her a hard look and spoke evenly.

“Honestly? I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jessie seethed.

“What exactly did you expect?” So far Jessie had been the only indignant one, but her accusation sparked a fire in you. “You’re off playing all over the world and I get your scraps whenever you happen to be around. You fuck me and then off you go again until the next time you hit me up.”

Your declaration silenced Jessie momentarily. She hadn't necessarily viewed things like that. And she certainly didn't think that was your perspective.

“I told you I love you.” Jessie’s voice strained as she took a step toward you. You remained rooted to your spot. “I tell you every time. I tell you I won’t play forever.”

You let your hands fall away from you listlessly. “And what was I to do with that?” You asked, your voice tense. You saw the expression on Jessie’s face and you clarified. “That you won’t play forever. That’s no guarantee of anything. Loving someone doesn't equal building a life with them.”

Jessie ran both hands through her hair, digging her fingers into her scalp painfully as she did so. She inhaled a shaky breath and did her best to speak calmly.

“I told you I love you. What do you think that means? You think I say that to anyone else?” Her defense brought up the reality of your situation and her anger returned. “No. That’s what you do. But not me.”

The hurt she felt began to boil over and she lashed out further.

“You were almost always seeing someone else. And I wasn’t going to ask you to wait until I was done. I’m not that selfish.” She paused, swallowing the emotions as best she could. “I thought.” She had to stop, dropping her gaze briefly as she reset. “I tried my best to not let it get to me, you seeing other girls - and I know I saw other people too - but I thought when everything was said and done…,” she trailed off as a lump formed in her throat. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

Jessie turned on her heel and walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. She leaned back and crossed one arm over her chest and brought the other up as she mindlessly chewed at the skin of her thumb.

You didn’t move right away, contemplating what to do next. You watched Jessie who determinedly stared at the wall; you decided to step tentatively into the room. Jessie’s eyes flicked over to you momentarily before pointedly returning to the wall.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted this,” you asked as you gestured between you and her. You suddenly felt worn out and weary. “Us.”

Jessie’s eyes snapped towards you and her tone was sharp. “I wouldn't ask you to put your life on hold. And you chose not to come with me to London. Why would I ask you to wait?”

“But you wanted me to.”

Jessie sat up, her lips drawn tight in frustration. “Well you clearly didn’t want the same,” she said with a meaningful glance to the ring on your hand. She sat back heavily once more. “So I’m glad I never asked.”

“Jessie. I came here tonight because I do want you,” you countered, your voice taut. “The closer I get to the wedding…,” you trailed off, your gaze falling to your feet as you swallowed the discomfort you felt. You felt Jessie’s eyes on you. You blinked back the start of tears and forced yourself to look at her. “The closer I get,” you started anew, voice stronger this time, “the more I realize I’m making a mistake.”

Jessie held your gaze, her jaw set. She eventually exhaled and looked away.

"You're drunk," Jessie said, her voice low.

"Hardly," you said. “My feelings for you are present all the time. The more I drink, the harder they are to hide. That’s all."

Jessie bristled and shot you a look before saying dryly. "Lucky me." She frowned, frustration anew. "And lucky for your fiancée. What a fucking joke." You heard the break in her voice. She turned her head away from you.

You sniffled, subconsciously picking at the fabric of your dress as you watched her. It broke your heart to see how you’d turned this kind, sweet woman into a shell of herself, now protecting what was left with acidic remarks and seething anger.

“I came here because I needed to know if you felt the same. Really felt the same.”

This time, when Jessie’s head snapped back towards you, her eyes were brimming with tears.

“I begged you to come with me to London. I’ve barely dated anyone, but those I did never stood a chance. I was always too preoccupied. And I don’t just mean soccer.” She blinked back her tears and ground her teeth. “I’ve always loved you. I still do. Whether you’d come with me to London or we did long distance or whatever - I felt like no matter what, you’d be my wife one day.”

Finally, a couple of tears started to fall and when Jessie spoke her voice trembled. “And it’s fucking devastating waking up every day knowing you’re going to marry someone else.”

You crossed the room to her on instinct alone and she stood as you approached. You stopped shortly in front of her and you held each other’s gaze wordlessly. Her shoulders rose and fell with deep breaths as she tried to not fall apart.

“I still believe I shouldn’t have come with you to London.” Your gaze was unwavering and you saw how the set of her jaw tensed further at your proclamation. “But I think we should’ve tried. It wouldn’t have been easy to be apart, but it would’ve been better than pretending that we didn’t need each other.”

Now tears began to form behind your eyes. When you spoke your voice was thick with emotion.

“I missed you so much. All the time. I felt numb without you. But I really couldn’t believe you’d ever truly come back for me. How could you? After all you’ve achieved and the amazing journeys you’ve been on, why would you choose me in the end?” You let out a shuddering breath. “At some point I think I felt like I needed to move on - as best I could anyway. Stop waiting around for someone who was never coming home.”

Jessie’s lip trembled as she held your gaze. “I would always choose you. You should know that.”

“But I didn’t,” you returned, your voice tight. “I’m sorry.”

You brought your hand up and gently cupped her cheek. She winced initially, her features screwing up in emotion before she subtly leaned into your touch.

“Truth is. I’m lost without you, Jessie.”

When her eyes opened, they were glistening with tears and she looked so sad.

“I’m sorry it’s ever felt like I was using you or I didn’t care.” Her voice was taut and she frowned as she worked to hold back her emotions. “Because, truth is, even after all these years, being with you feels like home.”

Hearing her words sent a wave of emotions through you and you closed your eyes and leaned forward to kiss her. She passively accepted your kiss.

You pulled back momentarily to look at her. Her eyes fluttered open to meet yours. They were truly the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen. You leaned in and kissed her once more. This time she returned it.

Your kiss deepened over several moments before you broke away long enough to gently push her down onto the couch. She looked up at you, not breaking eye contact as you hiked up your dress enough to straddle her lap. She swallowed but her hands came up to rest on your hips over the fabric. You leaned down and captured her lips in another kiss.

You subtly began rocking your hips against her and her fingers dug into you. She kissed you a while longer before pulling back.

“You’re engaged.”

You brought your hands up to clasp behind her neck, your thumbs rubbing up and down the taut muscles there.

“I know.” Your eyes remained locked on each other. “It should be to you.”

Her mouth fell open subtly and her breathing deepened. Her gaze was fixed on you.

“I know.” Her tone was almost stern before softening. “It could be.”

You leaned in and kissed her hard. She met you, returning the kiss greedily. She gripped your hips and began helping you rock against her before she stopped abruptly, moving her hands down your dress to rest on your legs.

“You’re still engaged,” she repeated. “It’s different than before. We shouldn’t…”

Despite her words, her fingers were kneading into the muscles of your legs and she still kissed you eagerly. Morally - yes, you should stop. But, as always, this was Jess.

You placed your hands on her shoulders and shifted yourself so you were straddling a single leg of hers. You moved a bit further down her leg and rolled your hips against her, your core rubbing against her muscular leg. Even though you still had your panties on, the friction sent irresistible waves through your body and left you wanting more.

Jessie could easily feel your heat through the thin fabric of her pants and it sent goosebumps all over her. She dug her fingers into your legs through your dress.

“Y/N…” Your name came out both pleading and as a warning. She tried to ignore how she instinctively flexed her leg against you. Your grip tightened on her and soon you were whispering in her ear.

“Do you know how many times I’ve touched myself while I think of you?” Your hot breath in her ear sent shivers down her spine.

“How many times you’ve made me cum without ever actually touching me?”

A small groan worked its way up Jessie’s throat and she flexed her leg again, you ground down against it immediately. You kissed Jessie hungrily and she returned it eagerly. She could feel your arousal starting to seep through the fabric that separated you.

She was trying so hard to be good, but you grinding against her and breathing in her ear was making it nearly impossible.

Jessie let out a shaky breath and despite her intentions her hands began to work their way under your dress. She stopped herself by your knees, digging her fingers into your skin there.

“I don’t want to just make you cum,” she told you between heated kisses. “I want more.” Jessie dug her nails in. “It kills me to think I’ve just been a fuck to you.” She hissed as you dragged your nails down the back of her neck.

“You’ve never been just a fuck. Ever.” You told her resolutely as you continued to grind against her leg. You could feel how your underwear was nearly soaked through already. “You’re so much more to me. You’re everything. I’m in love with you, Jess. That never changed.”

Jessie’s head fell back against the couch and she lifted her knee to give you more friction. She watched your eyes shut as you rode her leg.

“But I’m not the one who falls asleep next to you,” she challenged you. You locked eyes with her again.

“You could be.”

Jessie let her hands roam further up your legs until her thumbs rest in the crook between your thighs and hips.

“I hate that she gets you every night.” Jessie leaned up and kissed your neck. She smiled to herself as you moaned and began running your fingers through her hair. “That she gets to make love to you.”

“I think of you when she’s on top of me,” you said as your fingers continued to roam through Jessie’s hair. She flexed her leg and pushed up towards you, her hands now pulling you down onto her as well. Another moan fell from your lips.

“It’s always your name on the tip of my tongue,” you continued.

Jessie’s breathing grew heavy and a few subtle grunts escaped her as you brought yourself closer and closer to your climax. The fabric of her pants was wet with your arousal now and it was driving her crazy.

Jessie and you were in a rhythm and you pulled back to see each other. She stared into your eyes, your gazes unyielding, and it wasn’t long before you tensed up on top of her. Your panties were soaked completely through and you dug your fingers into her crown as you came.

You fell against Jessie as your orgasm faded and she absently massaged your thighs. She kissed your neck chastely and urged you to pull back to look at her. When you did, her expression was set.

“We’re not friends,” Jessie told you resolutely. “We never will be. I can’t look at you and pretend I’m not in love with you.” You nodded and kissed her tenderly.

“I know. It’s the same for me. I’ve been in love with you since I was 19, Jess.”

While Jessie’s expression was stoic a moment ago, now her lower lip trembled and her eyes glistened.

“You can’t marry her.”

You sat back momentarily and took in this woman before you.

“I won’t.” You promised her.

Jessie’s fingers dug into you once more and her jaw clenched.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” You told her with confidence.

She brought one hand out from under your dress and grasped your left hand. Her fingers gripped your engagement ring, giving it a solid tug and removing it. She didn’t break eye contact with you as she placed it in your palm.

“It should be my ring on your finger.”

A rush of emotion went through you at her declaration. You took the ring and set it aside before kissing her.

“So put a ring on my finger.”

Suddenly, everything Jessie had been holding back tonight came bursting forward. She gripped you tightly and carried you to the bedroom, quickly doing away with your dress and your ruined underwear. She kissed you possessively as she wasted no further time and ran two firm fingers through your folds.

“You’re mine from now on,” Jessie told you unequivocally. “I’m sick of sharing you.”

You moaned in her ear before adding, “Same applies to you. No more fucking other girls.”

She smirked and began circling your clit. “They never compared anyway. And why would I want anyone else if I can come home to you.”

“Remember that,” you panted, “when you’re halfway around the world and surrounded by beautiful women.”

“You’re the only one I want,” she said with no hesitation.

“Jessie,” you pleaded as you tugged at her shirt. “I want your skin on mine.”

She smirked into the kiss. “Take it off me, then.”

You reached down and pulled the shirt up her back and over her head. She sat up, straddling your leg and inadvertently showing off her incredible physique as she tossed the shirt to the floor. You tugged at the waistband of her pants and she continued to give you a charming smirk as she rose off the bed briefly to remove them.

She climbed back on top of you and ran her hands along your chest and down your stomach with a low growl rumbling in her chest.

“No more sneaking around,” she proclaimed as her eyes met yours. “I want people to know about us.”

You were dripping wet already, but the intensity of her words and the way she looked at you made your core pulse.

She leaned down and ran a thumb along your jaw, her lips hovering just above yours.

“We’ve wasted enough time. I don’t want to waste anymore.”

“Me neither,” you agreed as you cupped her face.

“Starting now,” Jessie asserted as she shifted so she was between your legs, which you readily spread for her. Her hands ran along your legs, wrapping them around her waist as she ran her fingers through your slick folds once more, lubing up her fingers with your wetness before sinking inside of you. “Fuck,” Jessie hissed as you clamped down around her fingers. “You feel so amazing each and every time.”

A wanton moan left your lips. Your fingers dug into her shoulders as you tossed your head back as you felt her digits fill and stretch you.

“God, Jessie, you always make me feel so good,” you said, feeling short of breath already. You felt her body jostle against you as she let out a smug snicker.

“I haven’t even gotten started,” she said as she withdrew her fingers slowly before plunging them back inside to her knuckles. She pulled your earlobe between her teeth and flicked it with her tongue.

“You’re always so good,” you told her as you arched into her. You chuckled. “It’s embarrassing how easily you get me off.”

“Mmm, let’s not call it easy, baby. I very much made a point of ensuring you’d remember me and how I made you feel regardless of who you were going back to.” Her breath was hot in your ear and she traced her tongue along the shell of your ear.

“Then you were very successful,” you told her, your words truncated by subtle moans as she pumped in and out of you, her body rocking above you as she did. “There were too many times I almost said your name.”

A low growl formed in Jessie’s throat again and she quickened her thrusts. “I wish you would’ve.” Despite herself, Jessie’s hand made its way up to your throat and it rest there at the base, her fingers ever so slightly wrapping around you. “I want to be the only one you cum for.”

You ran your fingers through her hair and nodded. “You will be - I promise.” You moaned loudly as Jessie’s fingers curled inside of you and stroked your g-spot repeatedly.

“Now.” Jessie commanded. “Starting now. I’m the only one who fucks you, has sex with you, makes love to you. You aren’t sleeping with her again. Or anyone else.”

You nodded mindlessly as your moans continued to fill the room alongside the sounds of her strong thrusts in and out of you.

“Say it,” she demanded. “You’re mine now. Your body, your heart, your everything - belongs to me now.”

“Oh fuck,” you said in a low moan as you writhed beneath her. “Yes, Jessie. I promise - I’m yours completely.” Jessie groaned and her strokes grew harder.

“I’ll buy a place for the two of us. And I’ll come home to you as often as I possibly can. And I promise I will make every minute away worth your while.”

You clawed at her back and she continued to chant declarations in your ear. The bed creaked with each thrust as she pushed you deeper into the mattress.

“I’ll give you so many orgasms you’ll need a break from me. And I will love you so thoroughly and deeply you’ll never feel alone no matter how far away I am. I promise.” Her voice softened.

“Jesus Christ, Jess. I’m so close.”

Jessie lifted her head and kissed you deeply.

“Marry me. Please. It doesn’t have to be soon - but please, let it be me.”

You kissed her hard, pulling her even closer towards you. “Yes. Oh my god, yes, Jessie.”

Jessie didn’t break your kiss as she continued to pump into you desperately. You both groaned deep in your throats and soon your climax took you.

You continued to moan into each other’s mouths as she rocked into you, your arousal dripping down her palm and onto the sheets. When your body grew limp, she exhaled heavily and let her weight rest upon you as you both worked to catch your breath.

She was absently stroking your hair with her free hand when you came around. You slowly blinked, your vision coming back into focus.

“Did you just ask me to marry you?” You asked.

Jessie hummed and lifted herself up enough to look down at you. “I did. And you said “yes” - but if-”

“No, no. I’m not changing my mind. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t imagine it,” you told her lightly. She chuckled softly and kissed your cheek.

“I mean, we need to have some deeper, bigger conversations about how all of this will work, but my feelings stay the same,” she told you. You nodded in return.

“I know. It’s going to be very complicated and messy for a while. Are you up for that?” You asked and she stared at you steadfast.

“I’ll endure anything if it means I get to be with you at the end of the day.” You smiled at her, but her eyes began to shimmer with tears once more. “Please don’t change your mind in the morning. It would devastate me.”

“Jessie.” You kissed her reassuringly. “You’re the one I’ve wanted all along. I’m not changing my mind.” It was your turn to frown. “If you’re uncertain at all - you have to say it now. I cried every day when you went to London. I can’t do that again.” You took a breath and held her gaze. “I can’t have my heart broken a second time.”

“You won’t go through that again,” Jessie promised. “No more heartbreak. I swear.”

[coolprettyleo]

he said he'd love me for all time - connor bedard? ☆

wc: 3.1k

tw: heartbreak. sadness. drinking. partying. lying. angst. etc?

ryan leonard x ex oc

connor bedard x oc

death by a thousand cuts au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

to the average eye frankie hughes was having the time of her life.

the tabloids were calling the youngest hughes; the newest 'it girl' of nyc, who was seen partying every weekend with big names, modeling for huge brands, and being everyone's newest celebrity crush.

to all her friends and to her ex-boyfriend, it looked like she was totally fine from the breakup, even daring to say she was even benefiting from it a bit.

but that was far from the truth.

the girl had been moving through the world with a heartbroken ever since that windy night in dc, when her whole world turned upside down in what seemed to be in the blink of an eye. she had to learn to live with the fact she was just a chapter in ryan leonards life, while he was her whole book.

but the girl was a real tough kid, and she knew how to handle her shit and put on a facade. a facade for the world, her friends, her family, and even her ex-boyfriend. and she knew how to do it well. a little too well, which she knew was bound to bite her in the ass one day. she could show everyone lies, and she would continue to do that until she felt somewhat okay. she had been doing it since he left anyways.

the only sign of a broken heart she had shown was the fact she had gone slightly manic and dyed her hair blonde, but the brands and the public seemed to love it.

at least someone loved it.

right now was a moment where she had to look okay, more than ever.

she had flown to vegas to show support for her brothers for the NHL awards and was currently walking the red carpet alongside her family, with her head held high and a smile that looked like it was her birthday.

while on the inside she wanted to die. just before her family walked into the eyesight of the cameras, her father asked her a question that made her whole castle of lies want to crumble into mere pebbles.

"oh, frankie! I ran into a few of the usa boys yesterday; ryan's linemate was one of them; does that mean he's here, too? you should invite him to dinner later" her father asked, not knowing the alarms he had set off in his daughter's head.

it wasn't his fault; she knew they were bound to ask about ryan. they loved him, but how was she supposed to tell them she'd ruined one of the only good things about her life? she knew they already didn't have the best mindset about her new life, and this was only going to feed into the fire more.

"I wouldn't know, we broke up," she said awkwardly as they walked. they all halted and whipped their heads around to the youngest hughes.

"what? what happened?" her mother said in the most heartbroken tone she'd ever heard.

"we just, kind of... grew apart, i guess. it was mutual, so I'm fine" lie. if only they knew she begged him not to leave.

"are you okay?" luke said, studying her up and down. he knew that his sister was never one to lay her heart out like she had done for ryan, so she had to be hurting.

"no, yeah! totally! c'mon, let's keep going; tonight is not about me; it's about you guys!" she said with a smile as she reached up to pinch quinn and luke's cheeks. they looked at her, not knowing if she was trying to convince them or herself more. her family gave her a worried look before looking at each other as they followed behind her.

they walked through the carpet as frankie looked like she was having the time of her life, continuing to show lies. while on the inside, she was beyond miserable; she really had never felt such a hole in her heart like this.

the carpet soon ended, and they walked into the theater. she searched for the nearest bathroom, feeling a panic attack rising, needing to get away from the worried eyes of her family. She excused herself, searching for the nearest exit.

"did you know they broke up?" jack asked his mom as they took their seats.

"no, she hadn't said anything. she looks perfectly fine, even glowing," her mother said as they all nodded.

"she has to be hurting," luke said as they watched her talk to a girl with a glittering smile, showing lies.

___

she soon found the bathroom in a hallway, and she saw a guy standing outside of it. that guy being, no other than connor bedard. she would have to be living under a rock to not know who he was, he had been dominating the NHL this last season and wasn't in any way ugly either.

he was the perfect thing to get her mind off of ryan.

she hadn't been with anyone since they broke up, but she knew she had to get back out there if she ever wanted to get the hell out of the imaginary restaurant she was stuck in. she stayed there, and she had been there for weeks. she needed an out, and this was her chance.

"are you in line?" she asked a bit confused as the boy lifted his head up to look at her, eyes widening a bit not thinking to run into frankie hughes tonight.

"uhh, no. I- I'm waiting for my sister," he stuttered, a bit flustered as frankie smirked. she made him nervous, and that was a good sign.

"hey, connor bedard right? I'm frankie," she said, outstretching her hand. the boy didn't think she knew who he was.

"yeah, I know who you are," he said with a small smile, meeting her handshake.

"you nervous for tonight?" she asked with a smile that seemed to put the buy in a daze.

"a little, but it's not the end of the world if I don't win," he said nervously, knowing he was up against her brother.

"good, you won't cry when luke wins then," she said jokingly with a wink as he chuckled.

"that bathroom smells horrible- oh my gosh! frankie hughes!" a blonde girl said as she noticed the youngest hughes. frankie smiled at he girl.

"you must be connor sister; hi, and does it really smell because I'll just hold it," she said with a smile as the girl looked astounded.

"hello! and yeah, it does- but I didn't like, stink it up or anything. it was like that already, like way before I walked in," she rambled but stopped once she noticed frankie and connor holding in a laugh, looking at each other.

"no, I get it. thanks for the heads up. i should get back to my seat, ill see you around connor" she said with eyes that made connor want to stumble. she was hot, and if he didn't know any better, she was flirting?

she bid them goodbye as madisen scolded herself for being so awkward. a trait both of the bedard siblings held.

"she's so cool," madisen said, shaking her head in aww.

"yeah, she is," he said with a small smile, not believing how the girl was so obviously flirting with him.

___

frankie returned to her seat with a heavy feeling in her heart as she sat between jack and quinn.

"I feel like I should be sitting left to jack," she told her family as quinn shook his head.

"stop it, you know that's your seat," her brother told her with a look, talking about the assigned seating they had made a couple years back, back when she actually played hockey.

she let it go, due to the fact she had nothing to say as she looked around the theater. there were many faces, big names in hockey surrounding them and maybe if she was twelve she'd be screaming but right now she could care less. her eyes focused on no other than connor.

he was cute. he had an aura that seemed like he was sure of himself, and that was a trait that made frankie want to gravitate to him. She used to love that trait in ryan.

stop thinking about him!

she told herself. the rest of the night, she spent it playing eye tag with connor. she felt his eyes on her, and he felt her eyes on him. She was sure she had him secured. but did she want to dive into that hole? part of her felt like she would be cheating on ryan, but she hadn't spoken to him since that night. she was allowed to move on, right?

she bit back the feeling as the she tried to enjoy the night. Luke had lost, but connor had won. ss he was walking up to the stage, his eyes found hers, and she playfully rolled her eyes and shook her head as she clapped.

"what the hell was that?" jack asked her leaning over luke.

"what was what?" she played dumb as her brothers looked at her funny.

"you know what," luke said as she just shook her head and smiled.

"I am single," she said with a shrug as they looked at her like she had three heads. choosing to drop it, knowing their sister had her own ways of moving on. they weren't going to question her, just give her a disgusted look as they got on with the night.

___

quinn ended up winning his award, and she got up to give him the biggest hug, beyond proud of him; she had grown closer to quinn when she moved. he always made sure to visit her and check in on her, and she couldn't thank him enough.

always making sure she had money and she had eaten. the first week she had left, he had sent her money, knowing she couldn't have that much saved up. he was really the most thoughtful one out of the hughes brothers, and she was happy to be a part of this moment for him.

the night went on, and they soon ended up in a bar celebrating quinn's win as the siblings took shot after shot, getting plastered as the night went on.

it seemed like the universe had been on her side because connor had walked into the very same bar a little later into the night. she turned to luke, knowing she had to make sure he was okay with what she was about to do.

"hey-"

"go for it," her brother said, shaking his head as she looked at him guiltily.

"you didn't even know what i was going to say" she said slightly smiling

"you didn't have to; you've been giving him those eyes all night. go be young and free," he said lightly, pushing her shoulder as she giggled.

"thanks luke. and, can i ask you something?" she told him

"shoot," he said, as jack and quinn joined the conversation.

"would it be shady to ryan? if I got with connor?" she asked, knowing they were guys and they'd probably know ryan's point of view. she never wanted to hurt anyone.

he hurt you though

"well, I mean, if you guys broke up, no. but like if you're still seeing each other on the low, that's a different story-" jack said

"we're not. I haven't heard from him since that night," she clarified as they nodded.

"were they like, sworn enemies or best friends?" quinn asked

"not that I know of," she said, thinking back to whether they ever interacted. she was sure they hadn't.

"then go for it little sis," jack said with a wink

"yeah, but don't string bedard around either," quinn said with a scolding look.

he was right. she was more than sure connor didn't need someone to play with his feelings. but he was busy, maybe he was just looking for a hookup. he went first overall; he'd had to have his fair share of one-night stands. right?

"she's young; this is her time to make stupid decisions-" jack tried to reason as she zoned out.

"if she's not over leonard, then it's just going to blow up in her face-" quinn said, arguing over luke with jack. if only quinn knew she'd never get over him. the love of her life turned into the loss of her life, and she'd continue to long for him forever. She just had to learn to live alongside that grief.

"okay! thanks for the advice guys. I'll catch you guys later," she said, walking away from her brothers, who watched as she walked up to connor and immediately caught sight of his reddened cheeks.

"she's going to break the poor guy's heart," quinn said with a guilty look as jack and luke snickered a bit evily. maybe he was a bit salty about the loss.

___

frankie woke up to a pounding headache.

she felt like she had drank more than her body weight the night before, and was suffering the consequences of those tequila shots right about now.

she sat up, only to realize she was in nothing but a loose t-shirt that did not belong to her. only now, looking around to realize she was not in her hotel room.

oh god, what did you do frankie

"hey, you're up," connor said, opening the door in nothing but a towel. he had the body made of a god, and only now did frankie remember the events of the night before where she had done body shots, those very same abs she was obviously ogling at.

"what the hell," she asked, looking around for her phone to see about a million texts coming from her family and friends, wondering where the hell she went.

"here, I thought you might have a hangover," connor nervously said as he handed her some tylenols. she drank them before trying to remember if she slept with him last night.

"did we..."

"i think we did. i kind of blacked out, you kept feeding me shots and I was trying to impress you so I ended up the most plastered I had ever been" he told her honestly as she felt like a bitch. of course, she was a bad influence on this saint of a boy. of fucking course.

"oh my gosh. i'm so sorry-" she said shaking her head

"it's okay, frankie. my life is way too serious most of the time. nights like last night remind me that I'm only eighteen. I had a lot of fun last night from what I remember," he said with a light smile as she reciprocated.

he was cute. he was handsome. and he was nice. he was way too good for frankie to go and taint, and she knew that.

"I should get back to my family before they send out an amber alert or something," she said as she stood up and looked for her underwear and dress from last night.

she lifted the sheets and searched, only to turn around and see connor standing with them in his hand with a cheeky smile.

she embarrassingly grabbed them as she got her heels and walked to the door and turned back to the young hockey player, knowing she'd have to tell him this was a one-time thing.

as she turned and saw the hopeful look on his face and his light smile she couldn't bear to tell him. he was cute, and yes, maybe it was selfish to use him to get over ryan but she wasn't no saint, and maybe if she got to know connor a little bit better, it could blossom into something more.

"I'll text you," she told him as she opened the door into the hallway.

"maybe i'll text you first," he said with a smile as he brushed the hair out of her face. she couldn't help herself and leaned into a passionate kiss. wrapping her arms around his neck as she brought him down with her. She soon pulled away and waved goodbye to him, leaving the boy standing in basically shambles as he felt something he'd never felt before. he was falling, and he was falling hard.

it seemed like the universe wanted her to suffer the embarrassment because as she looked up, she made eye contact with no other than wide eye will smith and zeev buim standing there with their mouths agape.

"hey guys," she said as she cringed. they were probably going to run and tell ryan. part of her felt like shit about that, but the other part of her hoped he knew.

they did nothing but look at each other before looking back at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"how could you do that to ryan?" will said, looking at her disgustingly.

"I didn't do anything to him," she said, crossing her arms at the two boys, wondering why the hell they were so mad. she was single.

"yeah? what the hell would you call that? you're cheating on him with bedard? really?" will said. only then did frankie realize he didn't tell them. he didn't even tell will that he had broken up with her. had he told anyone? everyone still thought they were together?

"i'm not cheating, will-" she said shaking her head

"bullshit," he said, cutting her off, that action making frankie want to literally rip his head off. he wasn't even letting her talk.

"he broke up with me about a month ago," she said as they looked at her confusingly.

"are you serious?" zeev asked as will seemed to go speechless. he couldn't believe it.

"yeah. so don't try to tell me shit, when you know nothing," she said teary-eyed as she walked past the two boys. not before bumping her shoulder straight into will. he was an asshole. he had no right to accuse her of cheating.

she wiped her tears before walking into her shared hotel room with her family, knowing she had to handle her shit and fake it till she made it. she couldn't let them see how destroyed her heart had become.

"ahh, the walk of shame," jack said, shaking his head with a teasing smirk as she flipped him off and flopped on the couch.

"not a good night, I'm guessing," quinn said with a grimace.

"it was fine," she said with a huff as she stared off into the ceiling. not being able to stop thinking about ryan. she felt guilty.

"you didn't do anything wrong if that's what you're thinking," Luke said, knowing his littlest sister.

"I know," she said, rising up and walking to her room. closing her door and finally letting her tears fall freely. she was miserable, but at least no one knew.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

More Furina asks? You don't need to ask twice :)

How about Furina and an assortment of Genshin/GFL characters taking care of a sick S/O? Thanks in advance if you write it!

Taking care of a sick S/O

(Genshin Impact/GFL/iDOLM@STER/GG:ST)

Genshin: Furina, Chiori, Clorinde, Navia, Shenhe, Xianyun, Xinyan

GFL: UMP45, UMP9, G11, HK416, WA2000, Helianthus, Angelia, Kalina

iDOLM@STER: Madoka

Guilty Gear: Elphelt

Congratulations, dear follower! You have won the lottery of where I write an ungodly amount of characters for no real reason! (Simping is the reason)

(Furina) "Y-You're sick?...Hm, this shall be no problem for me! Worry not, for you are in great hands!"

They were in fact not in great hands.

Furina doesn't really know what to do for someone when they get sick. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure she could even get a cold.

But Furina would try her best, she heard soup would do good!

As for cooking it-

(Furina) "Don't worry, I will get the best soup in the city for you! I will be back in but half an hour!"

She ain't.

Furina manages to get S/O to at least feel happy with her company, even if she had no idea what to do other than pace around nervously.

When she's out of earshot and they're sleeping somewhat comfortably, she takes a deep sigh, thankful she wasn't entirely useless.

(Furina) "Thank goodness they'll be okay..."

Chiori raises an eyebrow the moment she hears her S/O cough violently.

(Chiori) "Come down with something?" sigh "Oh well, guess I can open a little later than usual."

Even if S/O protests that they're fine, Chiori is hearing none of it.

First she makes sure to get everything they need, ranging from food or medicine and looks back from the door.

(Chiori) "I'll be back once I close up shop. Make sure you follow the instructions on that."

She won't baby anyone, since she trusts S/O to take care of themselves.

But should they get worse, she won't hesitate to close up, at least for a little bit, and experiment with her clothing at home with them.

Chiori would much rather deal with S/O's illness than having to deal with illness the customers give her by just breathing the same air.

Clorinde has her duties to attend to, but she reassures S/O with a gentle squeeze of their hand.

(Clorinde) "I will return home as quickly as I can with medicine, until then please rest up."

Clorinde is a little nervous leaving them alone and getting peace of mind once she's actually back and not dealing with the drama of the court or the public in general.

Even though it's unfortunate S/O got sick, she is at least happy to spend the time with them that she can.

And more importantly, that she's here to help take care of them when they need it most.

Clorinde puts a warm towel on their forehead, a small smile forming once she sees their body relaxing.

(Clorinde) "Are you feeling better, S/O? Here. This is from a lesser-known restaurant I enjoy, their soup is quite refreshing."

With a snap of her fingers, Navia already has a gaggle of men under her command fetching medicine, food, entertainment.

Whatever S/O required, they would get it!

As for her, Navia did not intend to leave their side, not really caring about the risk of getting sick.

She hated getting sick herself, and she knew how boring it'd be to rest in bed.

Instead, she regales S/O with tales from her childhood, interesting things she's learned, or even just enjoying the time with them in an intimate silence.

As long as they were smiling and not thinking about how sick they were, it was mission accomplished.

(Navia) "Ah, that must be our food arriving! Allow me to set up the table-...Hm? No no, stay right there! I insist that we have nothing short of an exquisite atmosphere! A better atmosphere is a better state of health, I'd say!"

This was an area of expertise Xianyun was well researched in.

Taking care of her many disciples when they were younger, this really was no problem for her.

There was nothing quite as refreshing like Adeptus Medicine!

...Well, it could actually be too refreshing since it wasn't particularly made for mortals in mind. Especially the taste, according to Shenhe.

Regardless, they could heal the body in no time, but there was nothing better to help with it than a well made soup!

Made by her personally, of course.

(Xianyun) "One has prepared a broth to help with your stuffy nose, S/O. Be sure to drink it all, it will warm both the body and soul!"

Xinyan is rushing around the harbor, grabbing every medicine she knows that always helped her in a pinch.

(Xinyan) "Here ya go, S/O! These herbs taste gross, but they'll pack a heckuva punch for that cold ya got!"

She practices her guitar while sitting next to S/O, keeping in mind of the volume the entire time.

As long as S/O wanted some company, anyway.

Xinyan will constantly check their temperatures and bring them some homemade food, smiling when she sees them laughing or relaxed on the bed.

(Xinyan) "Heh, that herb tastes gross, don't it? I used to have them all the time when I was little, sure as heck don't like 'em nowadays!"

UMP45 would tease S/O for getting sick, with a little bit of a softer expression than usual if they were alone.

(UMP45) "Aw, you got sick? Well, good thing I'm a T-Doll. Have fun with that.~"

She hangs out with S/O on the bed, giving her an excuse to not go out that day.

Depending on how severe the sickness was, she would dial back her usual snarky attitude more and more.

If anything, these kinds of moments is what she wished for, once she no longer had to fight.

But for now, UMP45 would just have to make do with these fleeting domestic dreams.

(UMP45) "...Hm? I'm lost in thought? Nah, that's just your sickness messing with your head."

UMP9 is on the case!

(UMP9) "No worries, you won't get bored while I'm here!"

She immediately plops down onto the bed, giving warmth to S/O if needed! The base was in a colder region after all.

UMP9 would talk about excitedly about all the things she had in mind to S/O, to at least get their mind off being sick!

Plus she didn't really have to worry about getting sick herself. so there was no harm!

She'd also bring all sorts of treats and food from the Cafe, even if S/O couldn't really eat it.

(UMP9) "Here's some soup! Now, say 'aaah'!"

(G11) "...Does that mean you won't be cooking dinner tonight?"

G11 sighs heavily, but whatever.

She knew there was one thing she could help with.

She immediately crawls into bed with S/O, letting herself be used like a giant teddy bear and promptly falls asleep from the warmth of S/O and the blankets.

(G11) zzz

To her credit, she at least makes sure S/O is never freezing cold, but other than sleeping, she doesn't really do much.

Unsurprisingly.

(HK416) "Tch, idiot. I told you, you should have been wearing more layers."

She rolls her eyes, but never really comments on the fact she is making sure S/O is bundled up properly, getting proper medication, and even spoonfeeding them.

Of course she's not babying them, they were a fully functional human, if anything they're wasting her time, making her do such mundane things!

(HK416) "And I'm not blushing, T-Dolls can't blush, dumbass."

Which her flushed cheeks were telling S/O otherwise.

In the end, she'll grumble and mutter under her breath, but never once will she actually hesitate to immediately jump into help S/O, unless UMP9 was teasing her.

WA sighs dramatically, immediately putting the blanket over S/O.

(WA2000) "Tch, don't get it in your head that I'm doing this because I'm concerned! It's so that you can get back to your duties already."

She is yet another German tsundere T-Doll that takes care of S/O perfectly, down to getting them a new towel down to the most precise nanosecond.

WA still attends to her duties, but S/O's room is where she returns the instant she can.

(WA2000) "Has your fever died down already?...Finally, next time take better care of yourself! What would happen if I wasn't here, huh?"

Helianthus has S/O attended to by medical officers, and makes a trip to them in person.

(Helianthus) "I'm glad to see it was nothing serious. I hope that it is a swift recovery, S/O."

In front of the others, she is extremely professional.

But in private, it's diminished somewhat but she is far more prone to getting flustered.

(Helianthus) "...W-Why do you look so surprised to see me? It's not as if we never see each other! Hmph, if you're trying to tease me, then you must be feeling better already. Then hurry up and return to your duties!"

Helianthus is far more comfortable when she knows they're remaining in the medbay and receiving the best care Griffin can offer.

Angelia is pretty neutral on the situation.

S/O got sick? Welp, sucks to be them.

Work doesn't really stop for her, but she'll at least pay a visit or three.

(Angelia) "Hey, still feeling like crap? Thought so. If you need me to grab you something, let me or any of my girls know."

Although her tone sounds dismissive, her real hand ruffles their hair affectionately before she turns to leave.

And if they can spare the time, Angelia orders DEFY to at least keep an eye on S/O until they fully recover.

Kalina pouts when she hears S/O had gotten sick.

(Kalina) "Aw man, now I gotta pick up your paperwork too, S/O! You wound my very soul!"

She's only mostly joking.

Kalina likes to bug them after her shift is over for the day, deflating on their bed and mumbling into their blanket.

(Kalina) "Did you know the Commander just plopped another stack of papers onto my desk the moment I said I was done! It's cruel!...STOP LAUGHING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SICK YA LITTLE PUNK!"

Madoka has her work as an idol keeping her busy, but after work she pops by S/O's room, water and medicine in hand.

And as usual, her expression remains stoic.

(Madoka) "Hey, got some stuff for you. Move over for a sec."

She takes care of them without saying much. Her gaze is focused, yet soft.

And once Madoka is finished, she avoids looking at them directly, her voice a bit quieter than before.

(Madoka) "...It's a bit pointless to thank me, it's something anyone would do."

It could be S/O's imagination, but they thought they saw her face getting slightly red after helping them.

She gives their arm a slight squeeze in response, still averting her sight.

(Elphelt) "Just do what I do when I have problems! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Being a Valentine, she was pretty sure(???) that she couldn't get sick. At least, not in the same way a human could.

But she doesn't like to see anyone sad, her S/O especially.

Elphelt brings S/O all sorts of things to see that smile, such as bush dog plushies, bush dog photos, bush dog songs-

And sweets! Lots of sweets as well!

(Elphelt) "...What do you mean you can't eat cake right now?...Oh, you're right! Duh, I should've brought some ice cream instead! BE BACK IN A JIFFY!"

Before S/O can say anything, else, she's already gone.

At the very least, S/O won't be bored while they're sick.

Did Elphelt make them feel better?

...Even mentally, that was up for debate. But at least they knew she loved them.

[moviecritc]

Hi! Could you do a driver!reader who is dating Max and is in ferrari and the whole Carlos thing is happening to her so in Australia she ignores team orders and goes to win the race. Charles is mad at her and in the post race interview when asked about it she is just like "Happy multi 21 day everyone" and like Max is so fucking proud his gf is in her reputation era 💅💅💅

on the edge ⋆ max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x driver!reader

word count: 1.7K

warnings: charles leclerc being himself (a bitch)

a/n: this is my first request it makes me very very happy!! thanks anon for your request, i hope you like this. i love max with all my heart and i love writing about him aswell.

just wanted to tell you guys that for the requests you can ask for reader and oc, even though when it's not a request it'll probably be an oc bc i love to give names to my characters <3

masterlist | wattpad | letterboxd

Y/N didn't have a seat for the upcoming Formula 1 season, and that stressed her out quite a bit. She and Charles had been teammates for three years, and she really thought Ferrari would keep her on the team, but upon learning that Lewis Hamilton was leaving Mercedes, they were the first to snatch him up and turn their backs on her.

Now she had two options: give up, pray to sign with Williams or Haas, or outperform herself this season and force her way into one of the top five teams. And for now, she had chosen the second option. P3 in the first race and in the top five in the second. She was extremely motivated for Australia.

Y/N loved the view of the fireworks from the podium, the champagne, and, above all, celebrating with Max Verstappen. Because let's not lie, it was obvious that Max would be on most of the podiums.

They kept their relationship out of the media. Being coworkers, neither of them wanted their relationship to hinder their success in Formula 1, but that didn't mean they didn't support each other every time the other achieved something.

Max had been with her throughout her Formula 1 career. They were the same age, but when Max debuted in the competition, she was still in Formula 2, battling against Albon and Russell for the title. A year before his debut, Y/N got a spot at Alpha Tauri as a reserve driver. It was in that year that Max and she started a relationship, at first quite casual and sporadic until they realized they were too obsessed with each other not to formalize it. And four years later, they were still together, sharing an attic in Monaco and competing together for the championship.

"It's going to be great for both of us, I'm sure," Y/N nodded. Before each race, they had a kind of ritual where they wished each other good luck, hugged, and kissed.

"I see a Y/Nstappen 1-2," Max assured before giving her a long kiss, resting his arms on his girlfriend's waist.

"I hope so,"

"Oh, come on. You're starting fourth, it'll be bad if you don't get on the podium," Max said. He knew her situation in Formula 1 was tense and did everything he could to make her feel good and positive. Max loved racing with her, and if she ended up off the grid next season, he would probably suffer from seasonal depression.

They kissed once more and were about to hug when someone knocked on Max's door to get them to the drivers' parade. They couldn't complete their little ritual, but neither of them gave it too much importance.

They went out to the parade where she was asked about her future in Formula 1, as they had been doing since the season started. That also annoyed her, would it always be like this from now on? Would everything be oriented towards whether she was unemployed or not? She answered with the best smile she could and ended the interview as quickly as possible.

She returned to Max, who was leaning on the fence of the truck they were being taken in for the parade. She leaned on the railing, holding it with her hands. Then Max discreetly placed his hand on hers, making her smile at the contact. Max wasn't very fond of physical contact, but if he could manage to brush against her shoulder, he would, maintaining professionalism wasn't as easy as it seemed.

"How's it going, mates?" Surprisingly, Leclerc approached them to start a conversation, first fist bumping with Max and then with Y/N, pressing his lips a little.

Their relationship as teammates was quite complicated at the moment. She was killing it in the few races that had passed, while Charles was just doing okay. Plus, although when Y/N joined the team, Charles and she had gotten along very well, that year they had been growing apart for obvious reasons.

They talked for a while about the race and expectations, especially Max and Charles, while Y/N disconnected from the situation a bit. Sometimes she was surprised that Charles and Max got along so well.

"Good luck today, Y/N," Charles said before leaving with Gasly.

Y/N blinked and looked at Max, puzzled. "What did he mean by that?"

"What do you mean?" Max frowned a little.

"He wished me luck, as if he thought I needed it," she insisted, biting her cheek.

"Everyone needs some luck, Y/N," Max said, knowing how nervous she could get when something didn't fit in her head.

"He didn't say anything to you," Y/N argued, crossing her arms.

"I mean…" Max tilted his head a little, eliciting a little smile from Y/N. "Don't dwell on it too much, you'll do great."

She loved that, how Max was able to lift her spirits in any situation, getting a little smile out of her. She loved him for that.

The parade ended, and they each went to their garage, fist bumping as a farewell because anything else would cause a stir in the media. In the Ferrari garage, her engineer commented on the strategies that focused on supporting and defending Charles even if he started two positions below her.

She gave Charles a short glance before going to the cars and taking their respective positions. It’s light and away we go. Y/N was so focused on passing Lando Norris that she didn't realize her boyfriend was no longer in first place, actually, he wasn't there anymore. She asked the engineers what had happened; Max had had some problems with the brakes and had retired from the race. "Don't fuck with me," she said, not fully believing it. "Is Max okay?"

"We don't know, focus on the race," her engineer emphasized.

"When you know, tell me, please," Y/N added, without receiving a response. There had been no accident, no red flag, so he was probably fine. But if there was smoke and sparks, there was always a chance that something had happened to him in the pits.

Y/N took a couple of breaths and refocused on the race. She looked on the bright side; she was third and had a chance to win. A few laps later, she managed to overtake Lando Norris. She pitted, and in the last third of the race, she was in first place. Behind her was Charles, so she thought they would change the strategy, and he would be the one defending the position.

"Y/N, let Charles pass," her engineer said, taking her by surprise.

"What?" Y/N practically shouted. "But I'm in first,"

"They're team orders, let him pass,"

"He's slow! He's over half a second behind me, letting him pass will make me slow down!" She couldn't believe this was happening.

"Y/N."

"If he can overtake me, let him, but I'm not letting him pass. I'm winning this fucking race."

And so it was. Y/N crossed the finish line first, and when she got out of the car, Max was there to greet her with a hug. He tried to make her not notice that there were hardly any people from her team there, but Y/N realized it, and her gaze darkened a little. Still, Charles came second, and when he parked his car, several Ferrari mechanics went to congratulate him.

Max watched Y/N, worried that she would take it badly. But then he saw her exchange a triumphant

look with Charles, who, upon seeing her, turned serious. And if that wasn't enough, she blew a kiss to Charles and then went with Max, who put an arm around her shoulders.

"That was incredible," Max said.

"The race or Charles's face?" she questioned, with an ironic smile.

"Both. I thought you'd be sad because there was no one to greet you,"

"You were there,"

"From your team, I mean," Max explained.

"You and I are a team, Maxie. Have you never thought about that?" She looked at him with a smile. "You're right, we are,"

"Are you okay?" Y/N asked. "I got quite worried when you DNF’d."

"I'm okay, no serious damage,"

"And emotionally?"

"I'm fine. Proud of you, above all," Max nodded. "Now go celebrate your podium, I'll be watching you from below,"

They gave each other a brief kiss on the cheek, not caring too much about the cameras; she had just won the race, she deserved at least a kiss from her boyfriend. She received her prize with a smile and celebrated the podium with Charles and Lando, more with Lando than with Charles. The McLaren driver had congratulated her countless times that day, but Charles barely spoke to her.

"Are you okay, mate?" Y/N asked, knowing what was coming.

"You didn't follow team orders," Charles said directly.

"Oh, right. That," she shrugged, raising her eyebrows. "You came second, Charles. It's not that bad,"

"Damn, but if they tell you to let me pass, you let me pass. What does it matter to you?" he raised his voice a little.

"What does it matter to you? You have your golden seat at Ferrari. Some of us have to work really hard to have a seat, crazy, right?" Y/N rolled her eyes with a smile and turned around, leaving Charles with a word on his lips.

Y/N reached the interview area, where Lando and Oscar were doing their respective interviews.

"Y/N! You won the race by disobeying team orders, does it feel the same as winning a race fair and square?" a man asked.

"Fair and square? I was fast enough to cross the line first, the rest weren't. I think that's how a race is supposed to be won," she argued. She smiled widely; she saw Max was also around, waiting for his turn for interviews.

"Don't you have any remorse?" he questioned.

"Not one,"

She ended the interview after that; she didn't feel like explaining. As she turned around, she found Max with an almost mischievous smile. They fist bumped, and he went to do the interview. "Max, can we ask you about the win of your girlfriend?"

"About Y/N,"

"Yes, about Y/N," he nodded.

"I'm extremely proud of her, it's her second victory, and even though I had to retire, I'm glad she won this race,"

"Even given the circumstances of the victory?" the reporter questioned.

"With the circumstances of the victory," Max assured with a broad smile.

[olsenmyolsen]

Bullseye

master list

dark master list

Post Hawkeye (Deaf Female Reader X Kate Bishop)

Summary: Your cute new friend Kate learns ASL for you.

Word Count: 4.4K

Content None I think... just cuteness.

Two weeks ago, Kate Bishop saw you across the library.

She had just finished classes and was rushing to pick up a book she needed for an essay she HAD NOT started when she saw you.

She hadn't seen you around before, and Kate was instantly mesmerized by how your cute face scrunched as you kept your head low to read. Kate couldn't take her eyes away, and she got to see your smile when you enjoyed a particular moment of your book.

Kate loved seeing your smile and how your eyes lit up.

Kate looked at her phone and truly needed to find the book and leave now or never. But on that day, Kate Bishop was feeling bold. Blame on the need for a certain thrill since Clint took her off Hawkeye duties to focus on school, but Kate started walking towards you.

You, however, never saw or heard her coming. Not when she tripped over her own feet. And not even when she stumbled sitting down next to you.

You had no idea Kate Bishop existed.

Maybe you would have if you had your aids in, but they made you feel embarrassed and inadequate, something you've struggled with for years. Something a certain someone would help you with in time. But, for now, you choose to go without them 99% of the time.

So when Kate started with a simple greeting, that turned into an overcomplicated rambling where she gave you numerous unwanted compliments.

You didn't hear it.

In fact, you didn't even look over to the now slummed-over pretty girl with the blue-grey eyes until she slammed her head on the table in defeat.

The vibrations of the repeated knock of the head against wood alerting you.

You put a bookmark in your book before closing it to look around, hoping maybe someone lost their friend because you had no idea why she was sitting at your table.

But at last, no one had lost the captain of the archery team. So you waited for her to look up, hoping to get an answer, and when she did, you're lucky your mouth didn't drop open.

She was gorgeous. Stunning actually. You had no idea why she was sitting here, but now you didn't want her to leave. You were about to lift your hand when you saw her eyes open in shock before her pink lips started speaking a hundred miles per minute.

Too fast for you to keep up.

You tried to get her to stop, but before you knew it, the last thing you saw was her black ponytail bouncing away.

You didn't know what to make of the last two minutes, but there wasn't much you could do. So, with a frown and shrug of the shoulder, you returned to your book. Wishing you got a chance to say anything.

Exiting the library, Kate Bishop was red in the face. You had just sat there ignoring her as she tripped over all of her words and called you beautiful and babe within two sentences. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She wanted to stab herself with an arrow. Badly!

Kate shook her head because that wasn't even the worst part.

The worst part was when you finally looked at her. You acknowledged her. Kate was already embarrassed enough. So she apologized and claimed that she would never bother you again.

But yet here she was two weeks later. Spotting you from across the library just like before.

"Go!" Kate felt a nudge on her arm from her friend Laura Kinney—a fast friend of Kate after transferring from Canada a year prior.

Kate looked back at her friend. "Stop that! I'm not going." Laura rolled eyes. "You talked about this one chick not stop-"

"No! I talked about how I embarrassed myself once! You're the one who keeps bringing it up!"

Laura shook her head and nudged her friend again. "Go! She's cute, and if you don't go, I will." Kate turned her head to her friend, surprised, but saw that maybe her friend wasn't kidding. "Ugh." Kate turned back to look at you. "Fine! Okay! I'll try again!"

"Good luck!" Laura called out, knowing Kate would need it. Kate sent a thumbs up and did her best to calm her nerves. "Just apologize and don't ramble," Kate whispered to herself as she reached your table.

However, before Kate could do anything, you closed your book and turned away from Kate to put it in your bag—the action meant nothing to you. But to Kate, it would appear you didn't want anything to do with her.

That thought was further cemented when you got up without looking at her and started walking away.

Without realizing it, Kate began to walk after you.

Her walk turned into a quick jog when her brain finally caught up to what was happening. She was right behind you when she said: "Excuse me! Hi!"

Yet you kept walking.

Okay, the library is busy, and maybe Kate could've spoken up a bit louder, so she tried again, HOPING that you weren't actively trying to get away from her.

"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I..." She trailed off when you kept moving forward, keeping your head staring straight ahead at the library's exit doors. Kate was growing embarrassed and did the one thing she could think of.

She ran ahead and turned around, stopping you in your tracks.

"Hi!" Kate breathed out with a wave, coming face to face with you for the first time. You looked up from her lips, surprised at who was standing in front of you.

It was her!

Hi. You waved back with a questioning look to Kate's beautiful eyes before looking down to her lips—something Kate noticed.

"Sorry to bother you, but I don't know if you remember me but..." That was all you caught reading her lips before Kate started speaking quicker and quicker than you could process.

In your defense, even Clint Barton, an Avenger, said Kate had more speed talking than Captain America did running.

You held your hand up, shutting Kate up. She looked at you with curious eyes and waited to hear your voice, but instead, you started signing.

I do remember you.

Kate immediately felt embarrassed. She knew very little to almost nothing of what you were saying.

She promised Clint she would start learning when he began teaching, but for someone who helped save the world, he could still be stubborn. But now The Archer regretted not learning ASL.

Kate awkwardly smiled, making you smile back, in turn, causing Kate's face to flush red. You caught it. While looking at one another, you both thought the other person was beyond cute.

"I'm sorry," Kate spoke slower than she usually would. You tilted your head as she continued. "I don't know ASL."

You made a flat smile and nodded. Most people didn't. So it wasn't surprising that the first new cute girl to talk to you in some time didn't know it either. It just meant it would be harder to forget her when she inevitably didn't want to make the effort.

But you had never met Kate Bishop till before this moment. You didn't know that she was just as stubborn as her mentor but a thousand times more annoying when she needed to be. She wasn't going to give up.

She was going to learn for you.

She was going to speak to you.

Kate watched you nod and go to walk away, but she stepped in front of you again. "Wait!" She held her hands up and quickly pulled out her phone, handing it to you. You took it as it sat on the New Contact screen and looked up with furrowed brows. "Please?" Kate asked, making you nod and blush.

Kate watched your fingers fly over the keyboard before you handed it back. You watched Kate smile and try not to laugh at your contact name: Y/N 👂❌

You bite back your own laughter. Having been used to not everyone being comfortable with something you lost at a young age.

Kate looked up to see your smile and finally broke laughing. Her pearly whites were on display until she closed her mouth and started typing in her phone.

A few seconds later, yours buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out, you looked up and smiled. The text read: "Hi Y/N. I'm Kate Bishop 🏹!" You nodded and made that her contact name.

"So Kate Bishop... what can I do you for?"

You typed and immediately regretted sending because you sounded like someone who was a boring attorney. But Kate found it kind of charming.

You looked down from her as the three dots popped up and down, but nothing happened. You looked back up at Kate, who was nervously biting her lip.

"You ok?" You typed to Kate, who stopped biting her lip, avoided your eye contact, and replied: "Yes. Sorry!" But Kate wanted to say more. She wanted to say: "I was going to ask for your number earlier, but we kinda blew through that quicker than I imagined. So now I don't know what to do?! Do I ask you out now? Is that allowed? Would you say yes?! You don't even know me!?"

But Kate didn't say that. Instead, she wrote: "I tried talking to you a couple of weeks ago because you seemed like a really cool person. Which you are! Ugh sorry. This is so embarrassing as I type this, but I wanted to know if you wanted to be friends? 😅"

Kate added the emoji, hoping to relieve any awkwardness. And it did. But Kate asking you to be friends wasn't where you thought this was going.

Truth be told, it wasn't.

But Katherine Elizabeth "Kate" Bishop wasn't going to ask you out over text. She was going to ask you face-to-face, and she didn't want you to read her lips to make it happen.

Yet you didn't know that. All you knew was that a cute, friendly girl was choosing to seek you out and wanted to get to know you. So you smiled and nodded to Kate, whose eyes lit up. "Great!" She audibly yelled, earning a fury of looks from people around.

But a smile from you.

"Sorry." You read Kates lips as she looked around at people shaking their heads and looking away.

Kate looked down at her buzzing phone to see a message from you. "Maybe we should leave the library. Are you busy rn?" Kate froze as she looked at the words on her screen. She was supposed to be courting you. Asking you out in time. Were you flirting? No. This is just what friends do. Hang out! The two of you were now friends! Right?

Kate's turmoil-struck brain could only process so much so fast before she decided to actually look at the time and realize, yes, she was supposed to be somewhere right now. Kate sent you a frown. "I actually should be on my way to archery practice."

That made a lightbulb go off above you. That's why she wanted her name like that in your phone. You thought Kate was being cute and was saying she was Cupid or was sent by Cupid or something. However, her being on the archery team made a lot more sense. You felt silly for thinking it was the former. But you pressed on.

"I have a free period right now. Can I come?"

Kate looked up from her phone and nodded with glee. "I'd love that!" Kate yelled once again, earning glares from everyone else in the room, but the two of you paid them no mind as Kate started leading the way.

On the walk, Kate and you enjoyed one another's company while also learning about the other one. It was new and slightly awkward but adorable to any outsider looking in. Like when you asked Kate if she took up archery because of the Hunger Games, she laughed and said no. She did it because she was saved by Hawkeye during the Battle of New York.

The very same battle you lost your hearing.

But Kate didn't know. She would in time.

Not right now.

The conversation about Hawkeye led to the two of you talking about your favorite Avengers. Kate's being obvious, and yours surprising her.

You said Natasha Romanoff—the Black Widow.

When asked why, you just sadly shrugged before replying through text: "The Avengers were all great. Most of them were role models. But none of them looked as good as she did in her uniform." You laughed to hide the tears in your eyes.

But Kate saw, leading you to type: "Plus, I bet she gave the best hugs." Kate smiled at that and could agree. Her and Wanda Maximoff probably gave the best hugs.

Where was Wanda, by the way??

Kate's phone buzzed, bringing her back. "Sorry... I could give actual reasons, but I don't want to cry right now." You smiled and swallowed the lump in your throat when Kate looked over at you.

Because Kate could relate, she had only gotten to hear Clint share less than a handful of stories about The Black Widow, and each time, they ended with the man in tears.

"I have a friend who's the same. It's okay." Kate sent back to you, making you feel better before you asked her if she had read Scott Lang's book, to which she said not yet.

Meanwhile, it was in your backpack.

Three weeks from now, she would borrow it and read the chapter dedicated to Natasha and cry.

As you and Kate walked up to the field holding practice, you had Kate lead you to a spot where you could safely watch from. Unbeknownst to you, the other girls around you were friends or girlfriends of the ladies on the team. So when people saw you walk up with THE Katherine Bishop, everyone started talking in hushed whispers.

But not that you knew.

However, you couldn't lie. Watching Kate's arms and fingers hold and mess around with something that's basically string and wood never looked so hot. On top of that, the shy, awkward, almost annoyingly cute girl you had become quick friends with didn't exist anymore. When the arrow flew from her fingers, she was confident, cocky, and dominant.

Also, she was easily the best of the team. Hot.

The warmth rising in you hit a tipping point when she pointed at you and then to the bullseye on the target before mouthing, "watch this." You expected Kate to turn and look to where she was shooting, but she didn't. She looked straight at you and let the arrow go. Your eyes went from Kate to the target.

Bullseye.

The girls around you erupted into a mixture of cheers, shock, and jealousy. They all turned to you, confusing you before you saw a couple of them smile and point back to Kate as if they were praising the two of you.

You're fairly certain you saw the word "girlfriend" being thrown around, but you just shook your head and waited for Kate to come to your rescue.

_

Over the next couple of months, as the season of spring was winding down to make way for the heat of summer, you and Kate had only grown closer. Your friendship had turned the two of you into being the best of friends.

Often being mistaken for girlfriends.

A mistake that always left you and Kate blushing but never saying how awful it would be if that was the case.

It was like there was a silent understanding. Kate knew what she was waiting for, and you were too nice and kind to even think about jeopardizing what you two had.

It was expected that if one of you was around, the other one had to be within ten feet. And this was true—most times. But there had been times in the past where if you woke up in the middle of the night after passing out while reading, you'd discover Kate gone. Her bag and clothes would still be there, but she was just gone. Well, herself and... her archery equipment.

That part confused you.

You wanted to bring it up to her. Because for one reason, whatever she was doing was making her exhausted. You could see it on her face better than anyone. She was tired mentally and physically. You didn't like seeing her like that.

The other reason is that it hurt you to see someone you cared about lying to you. You hated it and didn't want to hate the girl who started holding your hand on your walks across campus. The one who never missed a bullseye for you. The same girl who decided to read The Hunger Games instead of just watching the movies for you.

So when you couldn't bear yourself to bring it up to her, you decided to wait up and catch her.

Kate had no idea you had started to catch onto her. But it's not like Kate enjoyed sneaking around. Well, she did, but that was when she was chasing bad guys and doing some recon. But she hated it when it came to you. Sneaking around behind your back felt wrong, no matter the cause.

So, as Kate quietly picked up her bow and quiver, she looked over at your sleeping form and made a motion with her hands.

You didn't see it as you faked sleeping. But if you did, you would've understood why Kate was being sneaky.

Kate turned away from you and took a few steps towards her window. Kate opened it and reached back behind her when suddenly you flicked on the light in the bedroom of her dorm as she looked ready to jump out of her window. A labeled arrow prepared to fire.

Kate slowly lowered the bow and turned her head to you. You stood wearing her high school archery t-shirt and a pair of black shorts.

Kate couldn't help but smile. She loved seeing you in her clothes.

And you loved seeing her in yours, but right now, that was the last thing on your mind as Kate sheepishly said: "It's not what it looks like."

You threw your arms up at that and ran up to her, smacking your head as if to say, "what the hell are you doing?"

Kate sighed and knew that now was the time to say one thing or the other. Or maybe both?? Kate weighed her options before gently placing her bow on the bed you two had come to share. As friends of course.

You watched Kate let go of the bow before her hands found their way to yours. Taking them from your hips.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She started as you watched her pink lips speak. Tilting your head at the words she spilled before she softly let go of your hands to unzip her purple hoodie.

You gasped and covered your mouth when you saw what she was hiding. You looked from her guilty eyes back to her purple suit. Kate watched you step forward and raise a hand to her hip. The touch making her stomach flip while two of your fingers danced along the edge before gliding up the lining of the suit before they floated away.

Kate missing your contact already.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing. But yet, it made sense.

You'd been to enough practices to know the only match for Kate with a bow and arrow would be an Avenger. You looked to Kate's downward face and put your finger on the underside of her chin. Lifting it up. Her eyes meeting yours. You weren't mad. Well, you were, but if anything, now you were just shocked.

Are you Hawkeye? You signed without realizing it.

Yes. Kate signed ba— KATE SIGNED!

You took a step back in awe. Did that happen? You swallowed and stared at the girl, holding back a smile dressed in a purple superhero suit. Slowly, you raised your hands and, with a deep breath, signed: You can understand me?

Yes.Kate signed the exact same way as before, surprising you once again.

She was communicating with you in ASL. Your best friend- someone you cared for- No someone who you loved was signing!

Tears were threatening to spill as you ran into Kate and wrapped your arms around her. Your head burying its way into her neck. Kate wrapping her arms around you, holding you tight.

As Kate held you, she heard your sniffles and felt a few tears spill from your eyes. Kate bit her lip to keep her eyes from spilling.

It was then she decided she would keep the night of surprises going. So, after some time, she patted her hand against your back and removed her hold from you as you moved back to look at her. Your eyes were a little red, but Kate could see what was holding in them.

Kate smiled and started moving her hands. Since I met you, I've been learning ASL.

Your mouth dropped. With who? You could've asked me!?

You would've loved to teach Kate. But it had to be done this way.

Kate didn't answer you. Instead, she pulled out her phone and went to a secret photo album you had never seen before. Inside were pictures of her with Lucky, a family, some friends, and lastly... Clint Barton.

You looked up from the phone to Kate and back to the phone—Full-on, yanking it from her hands. You zoomed in on his face and then Kates before sliding through other pictures of the two of them together. A lot of them were unflattering pics of the grown man while Kate smiled brightly. But then there were some where Clint smiled and posed ridiculously for his mentee. You laughed and smiled at each one, including the ones of his family surrounding Kate.

You swiped once more, and a video automatically started to play. You felt the vibrations in your hand but couldn't make anything out. However, Kate knew exactly what was happening in the video.

It was Kate's first ASL lesson months prior. But that didn't start till ten minutes in. Instead, what was playing right now to the room was Kate in the video going on and on about this new friend of hers named Y/N. Kate mentions that you are the reason that she wants to learn sign language.

Slightly and purposely offending Clint.

"Okay, so let's say I manage to teach you, and you manage to learn, then what?"

Clint asks in the video.

"Then I ask her out."

Kate replies.

You looked up from the video to Kate. Asking why she is blushing, Kate takes a step closer to you and asks for her cell phone back. You place it in her hand. She hits the button on the side before putting it in her pocket.

I learned for you.

You watch Kate sign and mouth simultaneously, the feeling of wanting to cry from pure happiness returning. Why? You asked Kate as you smiled.

Kate lifts her hands and stops. She starts to sign but stops again.

The Archer breathes in and out.

Because ever since I met you, I've wanted to do one thing. Kate waits for you to nod back to her. I- Y/N... Y/N, do you want to go out?

She signs with a nervous smile.

Together? Sometime, like on a date. A real date! One where we dress up and go out on the town, not just eat junk in my-

You surprised Kate by jumping into her arms. Cutting off her ramblings in ASL. Kate barely had time to register to catch you before she felt just how soft your lips were.

Kate closed her eyes and melted into you. She marveled at the feeling of your smile as the kiss deepened. You pushed further into her and felt butterflies flutter inside of you at what you've wanted for so long.

Kate felt the same and would vow to always hold you closer than anyone ever could as she pulled you into her. Taking you all in.

Eventually, air had to return into your lungs.

You blushed harder when you and Kate separated. The heavy breathing between the two of you being the only noise in the room.

Yes, you signed when Kate placed you onto your feet. "You want to go out? With me?" Kate said, knowing you were watching her lips. But maybe she was wrong when she saw you shake your head no.

You moved back a bit as Kate kept her arms around your body.

I want to be your girlfriend. 

Kate looked at you, making sure she saw that right. "Girlfriend?!" She asked with a glint of hope. You smiled and brought your lips to hers as you nodded before moving your hands down to hers. Taking them off your body and placing them in yours as you moved them.

You kissed Kate again as she traced her fingers over your left hand, discovering the pinky and index finger were raised. She moved from your index finger down to your extended thumb.

She pulled back and looked at your hand watching it move towards her.

Kate brought her hands up to your face and quickly kissed your lips before she moved onto your cheeks and nose, forcing a giggle out of you.

When she let go of your head, she looked into your eyes and said with an unmistakable smile: "I love you too. I love you so much!"

Kate wrapped you into her arms and held you close before she could feel you patting her back.

When she let go, you smiled and asked: So girlfriends?

Kate nodded.Girlfriends.

A million more questions ran through you as you stood in Kate's arms. But before you could stop yourself, you started with: Oh, and Kate... You laughed and signed to her before continuing. Since I'm dating Hawkeye, do I get a cool name?

Kate laughed back and raised an eyebrow. "Sure! What would you want to be called?"

You tucked your bottom lip into your mouth as you thought. An action making Kate pull your lip out of your mouth with her thumb before bringing it to her lips, almost frying your brain to the point that you nearly didn't say your answer. Bullseye.

"Why is that?"

You shrugged but hid behind an innocent smile. Your eyes briefly darting to Kate's closet before looking back to Kate.

Because I want to be the only thing you can stick your arrow in.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[delulujuls]

did i even ever crossed your mind? | dr3

hi, uh, i dont even know what to say on that. here comes the over 2.5k of something that could sent current feminists 100 years back or at least i tried. i based it on #icanteven by the neighbourhood and yeah, uh, please enjoy! also please lmk if i did okay here because im still learning in writing smuts so im kinda unsure how it went

minors please do not interact!

summary: daniel and his girlfriend are constantly arguing but little does he know that this time she pissed him off on purpose

warnings: arguing, calling each other names, sexual content, p in v, spanking, choking, daniel is kinda a meanie (but so do reader), they are kinda toxic tbh

pairing: gf!reader x daniel ricciardo

Daniel knew perfectly well that he wouldn't be able to close his eyes tonight.

He knew he wouldn't sleep until Y/N will return home. However, he wasn't worried that she had disappeared for long, as it wasn't their first rodeo. There had been plenty of arguments in recent weeks, so one could get used to it.

Were they proud of it? Daniel for sure wasn't. He sat in the armchair, gripping the phone in his hand. None of his messages had been read, not to mention the missed calls. Although he knew very well that Y/N's phone was buried at the bottom of her bag at this moment, she was probably busy calling him an asshole to her new friends that she just met, he couldn't pretend that she didn't matter to him. Daniel knew perfectly well the scenario that awaited them in the coming hours - he would sit in the armchair with the phone in his hand, after a while he would make himself a drink because the anger would start to dissipate. Y/N will come home in the early hours of the morning, no later than five, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. Her mascara will be smudged under her eyes; when he'll ask her if she had been crying, she will firmly deny it. However, her eyes will be red, knowing full well that she had cried like a child in the return taxi, but she will not admit it to him. She would never show him that she was weak. But at that moment, when the man's arm will pull her towards him, she will not resist, only closing her eyes tightly and burying herself in him. They will take a shower together and go to bed, and the only remnants of the turbulent night would be the smell of cigarettes on the leather jacket thrown in disarray in the hallway.

So far, everything was going according to the familiar script. Y/N didn't answer his calls and ignored his messages, probably being in one of the local clubs, drinking shots of vodka with newly acquainted friends who probably had already heard plenty about him. Then, when after some time the anger left his body sunk into the couch, Daniel got up and went to pour himself whisky. He pressed the cold rim of the glass to his lips and leaned against the kitchen counter, glancing out the window. The sky was beginning to brighten, signaling the end of the stormy night. Daniel rubbed his face with his hand and glanced at the clock. 6:30. Y/N had never disappeared for so long before. He tightened his grip on the glass, about to return to the couch, when he heard the creak of the front door. There she is.

Daniel drank the contents of his glass in one gulp and placed it on the counter, leaving the kitchen and standing in the doorway of the hallway, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.

Y/N wasn't drunk, at least she didn't look like she usually did when she returned after a night spent away from home. She was silent, her gaze lowered, pretending not to notice him silently observing her actions. She slipped off her shoes and still wearing her jacket and scarf, began to walk deeper into the house. When she passed Daniel without a word, he just sighed. But as he was inhaling air into his lungs, he didn't catch the smell of alcohol or cigarettes. Instead, he sensed something else, something that made him tense in a second. He caught the scent of men's cologne trailing behind her.

"Stop right there, immediately," he said firmly, turning over his shoulder, but she instead of complying with his command, quickened her pace. Daniel quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm, turning her towards him. But she resisted, trying to push him away, but she didn't stand a chance against his strength. Seeing her struggling, triggered a chain reaction. Daniel knew something was definitely wrong, not thinking much, he grabbed her by the arms and pressed her firmly against the wall. She still tried to push him away, but to no avail. He easily immobilized her wrists and pressed them against her chest.

"Where have you been?" he asked when she stopped struggling. But Y/N didn't answer, still keeping her gaze lowered. She didn't look at him once since she returned. Daniel could endure a lot, but he couldn't stand being ignored. Especially when he was being ignored while anger was building up inside him.

"I asked," he gritted his teeth, grabbing her jaw with his free hand and forcing her to look at him, "where the hell have you been?"

As he lifted her head, the scarf slipped slightly from her neck. Her skin was covered in red marks, some less intense, others more so. In some places, teeth marks were still visible. Daniel knew what he was seeing, but his brain was in denial.

Y/N finally looked at his face when he lifted her head. His eyes were fixed on her neck covered in little marks. She could see his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening.

"Answer me."

"I don't have to," she said, which sounded more like a growl. She was just as angry with him as he was with her, or so she thought. She had no idea that Daniel was furious. There was absolutely no anger here.

"Did you fuck with someone?"

"Even if I did, it's none of your business!"

She retorted, causing him to grip her cheeks, one hand still holding her wrists and the other her face.

"It's quite a bit of my business, because my girlfriend apparently forgot she has a boyfriend at home, who may be fed up with her, but still is her boyfriend."

She remained silent, glaring at him angrily. She could feel her heart pounding with anger and her cheeks burning, not only from being squeezed by his large, rough hand.

"Everytime when we are after a fight you are forgetting that you are having a boyfriend who is waiting for you? Who isn't sleeping all night because he's worried sick about you?"

He asked, causing her to avert her gaze. Daniel pressed her harder against the wall, sliding his knee between her thighs, causing her to stifle a small groan. But she didn't answer his question in any way.

"Well, I see you have a really bad memory," he sighed and with one move grabbed her by the waist, tossing her over his shoulder, "and apparently I need to remind you of a few things."

"Put me down, for fuck's sake!"

The girl yelled, hitting him on the back. However, he remained unaffected, heading towards the bedroom, holding her wriggling legs tightly. When she started to struggle more forcefully, he gave her a sharp slap on her ass cheek, now exposed by her skirt. Y/N involuntarily groaned in pain, feeling the burning, spreading ache. When they reached the bedroom, Daniel threw her onto the bed without hesitation. He did it so violently that she instantly ran out of breath. She curled her legs and tried to push away, but he grabbed her ankles and pulled her closer, then climbed onto her and pressed her body against the mattress.

Y/N, as soon as he was above her, pressed her hands to his chest again and tried to push him away. Daniel sat on her hips and grabbed her wrists, struggling against her for a moment before pinning them with one hand above her head. The girl was panting, furious. But somewhere in the back of her mind she suspected what might happen at any moment, and yes, she might have been in denial, but her body had a life of its own at that moment. As Daniel's eyes glared at her sharply, his dark irises piercing her, his hot, whiskey-soaked breath fanning across her face and his strong hands gripping her wrists tightly, she would be lying if she said she didn't feel aroused. Her thighs were involuntarily clenching and her pussy was looking for anything to rub against. He might be a dick but god, a good looking one.

"I guess you didn't struggle like that when the other guy took you to bed," he said, straightening up. He still held her hands with one hand and began to remove her scarf with the other. His eyelid twitched slightly as her hickey covered neck came into full view, "though did you even let him fuck you in bed. Maybe in a club, huh? While someone in the next booth was doing cocaine, you were taking someone's cock" he muttered and threw the scarf to the ground, disposing of her jacket as well. The girl did not protest when he started undressing her. She now lay beneath him in nothing but a short leather skirt and a black top. He no longer had to hold her wrists, because she lay motionless beneath him, watching him in silence. Daniel looked over her body, his dark irises looking at her like a captured prey.

"God, look at you," he snorted, "such a little slut, with your skirt barely covering your ass and your tits hanging out. You didn't have to look long for someone to notice you, huh?"

"Just admit that you're jealous."

She hissed, glaring at him. She didn't even have time to register when her words triggered a reaction and Daniel slapped her on the cheek. He didn't do it hard, not in a way that would hurt her. He grabbed her neck and squeezed, not choking her but grabbing her sides to cut off some of the blood flow. The girl tightened her fingers on his wrist, wanting to push him away, but in the other hand she wanted him even closer. Her pussy was so close to exploding.

"No, you admit, what an attention whore you are," he growled, centimeters from her face, "admit how much you need attention, and you forget that only I can give it to you, only I can make you feel noticed, that i can make you feel good," he slid his other free hand down her body and placed it between her thighs, pressing against her throbbing pussy, which made her moan softly, muffled by biting her lip, "that you'll feel good, like this."

He slipped his fingers into her panties and began massaging her clit in circular motions. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath, feeling dizzy. Daniel ran his fingers between her soaked folds and snorted under his breath.

"Pathetic," hearing his words, the girl opened her eyes a little, just enough to see his slight, mocking smile, "I wonder what your new lover would say about how wet you are for me. And I haven't even touched you properly yet."

"At least he had a bigger dick than his ego."

Y/N muttered, which didn't go unnoticed for long. Less than a second later, Daniel slid two fingers inside her. The involuntary reaction of her body was to bend in half, however, he grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back to the mattress. The girl squeezed her eyes shut and arched her back, moaning loudly. She tightened her hands on the sheets, feeling his long fingers curl inside her and precisely touch her inner sweet spot. Daniel bit his lip as he fucked her with his fingers. At one point, he let go of a strand of her hair from his fist and, still moving the fingers of one hand in her, tried to free himself from his jeans with the other. Once he managed to do this, he pulled them down a bit, along with his boxers, freeing from them his hard, throbbing cock. He pulled up her skirt, exposing her pussy, covered only by her black thong. He moved them to the side and spread her thighs, sliding into her in one smooth movement. The girl moaned loudly, parting her lips. Daniel put his wet fingers into her mouth, with which he had fucked her a moment ago.

"You still taste like his cock?"

Y/N was all she could manage to let out a moan, which was muffled by his fingers in her mouth.

"Lick them clean"

He ordered, slowly moving inside her. After all, the last thing he wanted was to hurt her. He might be mad at her, but he wasn't a monster. The girl complied with his command, trying to clean them thoroughly with her tongue. When she was finished, Daniel grabbed her thighs tightly and pulled her closer to him, thrusting into her all the way.

He held her tightly, his fingers digging into her soft thighs. He moved inside her fast and hard, making the sound of skin slapping against each other echo throughout the bedroom as the girl's moans escaped her lips with each movement.

After some time, Daniel lay down on top of her, resting his elbows on both sides of her head, making their faces barely centimeters apart. He inserted himself fully into her, causing her to part her lips, but she was unable to make any sound. He felt so good inside her.

Daniel looked at her face for a moment. By her smeared mascara, but this time not by tears, by her misty eyes, her worn-out foundation, her lips parted into a perfect 'o'. He snorted under his breath.

"You definitely didn't take him as well as you are taking me."

He said, returning to his previous pace a second later. Y/N dug her nails into his shirt-covered back, feeling her head become lighter and lighter with each subsequent thrust and her thoughts blurring. Now all that mattered to her was the sex and the fact that Daniel was there, so close to her. She had no idea what might happen next. Daniel didn't think about it either, the only thing on his mind was the fact that his girlfriend had slept with someone else. It was the only thing that was racking his mind and burning him alive.

"Did it make you feel bad when you cheated on your man last night?" he murmured against her ear, his hot, uneven breathing giving her body goosebumps. "Did I ever cross your mind?"

Y/N struggled to look him in the eyes. Not with difficulty, because she felt bad about what she had done and felt remorse, but because she was only seconds away from orgasm. Her body wasn't thinking straight, and neither was her mind. The rush of adrenaline and endorphins effectively displaced everything she was waiting to confront.

"I-I was, i mean, fuck, Daniel, oh my god-"

He, seeing what condition she was in, straightened up and sat on his heels, still moving inside her and massaging her clit with his thumb. With his other hand, he pulled at the neckline of her top, freeing her breasts from it. He spanked each of them, and the girl bit her lip painfully, but it didn't help, because her moans couldn't stop in her throat. Feeling Y/N begin to tighten around his cock, Daniel knew what was coming. He stopped moving, which was immediately met with a reaction from the girl. Her elated expression dimmed and her hips began to move on their own. When she wanted to bring herself to orgasm with her hand, Daniel immobilized her wrists again.

"Why did you stop? I'm on the edge"

She groaned dissatisfiedly, looking at his face. Her chest was still rising and falling rapidly, and beads of sweat began to gather between her breasts.

"I know, that's why I stopped."

The girl squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her head back, trying to move her hips to relieve the almost painful inability.

"Daniel, please, I'm begging you-"

"Why should I please the person who cheated on me?"

“I didn't cheat on you,” Y/N moaned loudly, but it was a moan of annoyance, “I don't know who you think I am to think I would do something like that.”

Daniel involuntarily tightened his grip on her wrists.

"I can see what you look like, you even smell like another guy."

"I would never cheat on you, even if I were to explode with rage," she said, looking into his eyes. Her facial expression immediately became serious, now it was confident and fierce, and after the ecstatic, near-orgasmic expression there was no trace left. "Before the club, I took a cigarette from a girl, she asked why I was crying. When I told her that my boyfriend is a complete dick, she said she had an idea on how to teach you a lesson in humility"

He was silent when she started speaking, but his eyes were moving from her face to her neck covered in hickeys. He didn't know if he believed her, but he knew that she had never lied to him or made him feel insecure. Logically, she could have been telling the truth.

"After a round of shots, we went to the bathroom, she gave me a lot of hickeys. She overdid it a bit, because they hurt like hell" not being able to see his intention to interrupt her, she continued "Finally, before I got into the taxi, she sprayed me with perfume, I have no idea where she got the male perfume. But she said it would work. Well, and it worked"

Daniel loosened his grip on her wrists, he had no idea what to say.

"You are telling the truth?"

He asked after a moment, his tone of voice sounded completely different. His expression changed slightly, his eyes was no longer as dark as the stormy sky.

"I don't know how to prove it to you, I can ask for the recordings from the club, I can even go to the gynecologist in the morning," she said, looking into his eyes, "I'm not lying."

The man looked down. After a while, however, still inside her, he lay down between her legs and, resting his elbows on both sides of her head, took her face in his hands.

“I fucking love you, Y/N.”

He said quietly, looking into her eyes. His voice was filled with emotion, he honestly felt what he was saying.

"I love you too. But I'm tired of these fights-"

She wasn't allowed to finish because Daniel kissed her deeply. She hugged him around the neck and returned the kiss. He slowly started moving inside her again.

"We'll come back to it in the morning," he murmured between kisses, "Now I think we should finish something."

[litnerdwrites]

Feyre betrayed Nesta in the worst way...

It's a common stance that many people, regardless of if they love or hate Nesta/Rhys/the IC, seem to have, but I don't think it is. Was Nesta complacent in keeping it from her since she found out? Yes. Was that wrong of her? Yes again. Was blurting it out the way that she did also not ideal, to put it mildly? Absolutely yes. But was it out of malice? No.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?' Amren barked, 'Shut your mouth!' But her order was confirmation enough. Face paling, Feyre whispered again, 'What do you mean?' 'The wings,' Nesta seethed. 'The boy's Illyrian wings will get stuck in your Fae body during the labour, and it will kill you both.'

The idea that this was all said in malice just never sat right to me, and after scrolling through some comments on a video discussing the matter, the pieces finally clicked into place. First, let's talk about the hike, though.

Her breakdown after that hike wasn't a moment of catharsis and letting walls down. It was a weeks worth of exhaustion, dehydration and depression that resulted in Nesta giving in to the torture she was put through just to end it. It was a pivotal moment in the IC's efforts to break and then reconstruct her to their liking, or rather, to Feyre's liking. However, a vital stepping stone in reaching this point would be for them to gaslight and isolate her until she truly had no one. I mentioned before that I didn't think anyone in the NC would chose Nesta, and this is an example of why I believe that.

Nesta snarled, but Feyre stepped between them, hands raised. 'This conversation ends now. Nesta, go back to the House. Amren, you...' She hesitated, as if considering the wisdom of ordering Amren around. Feyre finished carefully, 'You stay here.'

Nesta is clearly upset and hurting and Feyre disregards that entierly, not even offering to discuss or find out why Nesta is hurt or feeling the way she is. Feyre didn't bother to try and understand Nesta before and she isn't bothering now. Either Feyre assumes she knows what Nesta is thinking/ feeling, or she just doesn't care. She dismisses her, telling her to go back to her prison, disregarding Nesta's choices, autonomy and opinions again.

If I recall right, it was Amren who informed Nesta that she was free to go where she wanted if she made it down the ten thousand steps. Feyre wouldn't order Amren, even to stand up for her sister, but happily go against Amren's own words to punish Nesta? Hypocrisy at it's finest.

All of this leads to one outcome: Nesta feeling trapped. Cornered and without a single ally in the whorld who would defend her properly. Isolated from anyone who'd be willing to treat her with decency, while believing she doesn't even deserve the basics of kindness. It leaves Nesta more prone to actually going through with committing suicide, since the behaviour of these people, mixed with her own self hatred, sets a precedent for how Nesta believe she'd be treated.

We see this when Nesta first meets Emerie, thinking to herself that 'the invitations would stop' when Emerie learned what nesta was really like. Or at least what Nesta perceived herself to be like.

Even though Nesta has Emerie and Gwyn, she has no reason to think, based on what brainwashing the IC has already done coupled with her self deprecating mindset, that they wouldn't side with the IC. This isn't to say Emerie and Gwyn are like the IC by any means. I think they're great friends to Nesta, and if that changes or not later on is more so up to SJM and her writing, rather than their characterisation. It's the reality that the IC have created for Nesta through abuse, gaslighting and borderline torture that's wound up feeding in to Nesta's already existing trauma and self worth that has lead to her becoming isolated this way.

And Nesta didn't care. Couldn't think around the roaring. 'Have any of them told you, their respected High lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?'

The comment on the video I saw explained that, while Nesta was angry when saying this, she wasn't trying to hurt Feyre or take her anger out on anyone. Nesta was angry because she wasn't told that she made a new trove. She was angry that these people had the audacity to vote on her life, and take bodily autonomy from her. She was angry that Feyre wasn't acknowledging or even trying to understand how Nesta was feeling. She was angry that she was treated like the bad guy- or more like a petulant child in this scene, I suppose- and had her feelings dismissed again.

Dismissed the way her mother/grandmother used to when she was trained. The way her father did when he refused to hunt. The way the Mortal Queens did when Nesta merely asked them to save her people. The way Feyre did when she asked for Nesta's help again, and again, and again during the war, only for it to never be enough in the eyes of other. The way that Elain did when she got upset at Nesta time and time again for how she handled her trauma or how she wasn't over her trauma or how Nesta tried to protect her. The way Cassian dismissed her feelings when he got mad at her for having an opinion of Rhysand.

Nesta was angry. She had every right to be angry. Most people would be angry, and alone, and if they already had suicidal thoughts like Nesta, having been abandoned by everybody while gaslit into thinking it was fine, and then only called upon to be used for the benefit of others while the snickered behind her back and dismissed her again.

As the commenter put it; She was trying to find someone who would relate to her anger. Nesta wanted an ally, someone who wouldn't leave her alone. Someone to be by her side and, perhaps subconsciously, thought that Feyre, who'd hunted for them and helped look after them for years, would chose Nesta's side.

The parallels between Nesta and Feyre's situation here are clear, and I think Nesta understood that when she said what she said. I think that Feyre believing Nesta said it to hurt her was a gross misunderstanding on her part, but it's not like she ever asked Nesta how she felt. Now that I think about it, for all that Feyre talks about Nesta feeling too much, and taking everything to heart, she never once confirms with Nesta. Never asks how Nesta feels.

Since coming to the Night Court, Nesta's feelings and traumas have been twisted and spoken about only in relation to how Feyre feels.

'Do you know how embarrassed I was when we got the bill this morning and my friends-my family- had to hear all about it?'

The intervention began, not because of Nesta doing something to risk hurting herself, but because Feyre was embarrassed and started crying into her breakfast.

'All of it pains me… It pains me that Nesta has become… this. It pains me that she and Feyre are always at each other’s throats. It pains me that Feyre hurts over it, and I know Nesta does, too.'

Cassian is pained, not because Nesta is suffering so greatly that she isolated herself for her own sisters (who didn't really act like sisters between the end of ACOWAR to... well now, so it's understandable), or because Nesta felt her only reprieve from her pain was in sex and alcohol, but because Feyre hurts over it. He knows Nesta does (but he doesn't know she hates fire? Or is uncomfortable at their social gatherings, since in ACOFS he somehow hoped she wouldn't take the bribe money and say she enjoyed their solstice party??? Because...Why?) But, of course, it's Feyre's feelings on the matter that are prioritised.

'Nesta is Nesta. She does what she wants, even if it kills her sister.'

Rhysand, not that I expect much from him, honestly, is utpse, not because he can't find a way to help Nesta. Not because his court is actively cruel to Nesta, hell, he joins in. Not because Nesta is in pain, in no small part because of him and his court. Not even because Nesta is spending his money. Because she's upsetting Feyre. Because, god forbid, Nesta have trauma and handle it in a way that doesn't make his wife happy.

Feyre tells others how she thinks Nesta feels, the others go with it, or just come to their own conclusions, not sure which is worse, but nobody stops to consider how she feels. Feyre feeling like Nesta said it to hurt her, I think, is simply proof that she doesn't understand Nesta.

Let me ask you, if you found out you were lied to in a way that affects your ability to make informed decisions regarding your own body, by someone you were supposed to trust, and who should've had your back, and that your own sibling has been betrayed by the same people in a very similar, if not identical way, and yet you're the one being turned into the bad guy, and dismissed, would that not make you feel isolated and frustrated?

It's understandable that Nesta tried, either consciously or subconsciously, feel less alone by appealing to common ground to find an ally. Nesta mentions at the end of ACOSF that she believes Feyre loved her from the start, and after those years in the cabin, I think Nesta sees Feyre as someone reliable.

This scene doesn't feels like Nesta trying to hurt Feyre. It feels like Nesta trying to reach out to the one person she could rely on; Feyre. Her mother was abusive, her father was a deadbeat, Elain was her ward, and the IC hate her.

'Nesta studied me for a long moment. And then she said with equal quiet, though we could all hear, “I can’t get into a bathtub, anymore. I have to use buckets.” I hadn’t known—hadn’t even thought that bathing, submerging water…'

Amren tells Cassian to keep reaching out his hand, even though Nesta has reached out her own time and time again. Esspecially to Feyre, as she was the one Nesta relied on before. Possibly even the only person Nesta has ever relied on, and Fyre was the one she was trying to rely on now.

Nesta relied on Feyre, and needed to rely on her again. To have strength together, in a situation where they both lost their choices and autonomy to Rhysand and his (cause don't pretend it's even slightly Feyre's) IC.

It may have been wrong to say it in that way, at that time, under those circumstances, but this, to me, feels like Nesta's way of reaching out her own hand only to be misunderstood, punished, and dismissed again. And again. And again.

In a way, I think Feyre might have, unintentionally, betrayed Nesta in a worse way than Elain ever has. Elain was a ward. Almost like a child, to Nesta. They were never on equal footing. Moreover, Nesta was never punished if she upset Elain, no that she should be, or if Elain misunderstood her. Nesta never relied on Elain the way she relied on Feyre. She never trusted or had faith in Elain, the way she clearly trusted Feyre. She had thought she'd found an ally, with similar pain, in Feyre, in the moments she spilled the secret, but Feyre didn't care.

When I was reading the scene where Cassian told Feyre his idea to take Nesta on a punishment hike, she sounded all too gleeful when telling him how miserable Nesta would be. That, in my opinion, is the worst betrayal of all.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Pretty Girl || part 1

|| Regina George x female reader

|| Warnings: Regina being mean (not to reader), jocks being jerks bullying reader, mentions of throwing up

|| Summary: you were new to NorthShore and Regina George notices you. At first, it's just small run ins. Until it becomes more...

Requests open!

~~~

Ugh, math. Regina's least favourite subject. If it wasn't mandatory she would have dropped this class ages ago. Her nails drum gently against her desk as she glares at the clock, hoping to intimidate it enough to speed through the hour faster. She hadn't even been paying attention to what Ms Norbury was saying. That was until someone came running into the classroom, completely out of breath. Regina snapped her head towards the girl, raising an eyebrow. She didn't recognize you. Why?

"I'm so so sorry! I took a couple wrong turns and got lost on my way to class-" You apologized profusely to Ms Norbury, who had turned her focus to you now.

"Oh! Don't worry about it! You're the new student?" Ms Norbury asked, watching you with a curious gaze. You nodded quickly, hands on your knees as you tried catching your breath. You'd spent the last ten minutes running through the whole damn school. Trying to find your way through the unfamiliar maze of halls. Maybe you should have actually tried more in gym class at your old school, maybe then you wouldn't be so out of breath right now.

"Y/N L/N..." You introduce yourself, taking one last big breath before straightening up your back. Offering Ms Norbury a smile.

"Well, Y/N go find yourself a seat." She nodded her head towards the rows of desks and students, that's the moment you noticed everyone's eyes on you. It sent a chill through your spine, what did they all think of you? Probably thought you were a fool for getting lost. That's when you made eye contact with one girl in particular. You felt your heart leap into your throat at the sight of the gorgeous blonde. Intimidated by the gaze she had on you, you turned your head away and walked between a row of desks. Going towards one that was empty. A guy kicked his feet up on the chair and smirked at you, as if daring to sit there. Sighing, you opted to move further to the back. Taking a spare chair and sitting down without a desk in front of you. At least it was better than the floor (cough, Cady).

The pretty girl, that you would later come to know as Regina George, was seated in front of you. The rest of that class you spent watching the blonde, if anyone had tried talking to you you didn't notice. Hell, you didn't even care. Your full attention was on Regina George. Little did you know, you had captured her attention was well. Though she never made the move to look behind her at you.

~~~

Your day dreams were interrupted by the bell. Standing, you grabbed your things and glanced up to look at Regina again. The blonde's head had turned away the moment you looked at her... had she been staring at you? Shaking your head, you painted that as just another day dream; making your way out of the classroom and onto the next.

The rest of the morning was pretty boring. Though, overhearing some whispers you came to learn the pretty girl you had seen as Regina George. The most popular (and meanest) girl in school. You didn't see Regina again that morning. Part of you was glad for it. If she really was as mean as people were saying- you didn't want to think about what she would do to you if she ever learned of your crush on her.

~~~

The next few days were some of the most confusing days of Regina George's life. She'd find herself staring at you whenever you passed through the halls. She doesn't stare people. People stare at her. She's caught herself going out of her way to try and see you more. Leaving classes at specific times, hoping to run into you in the halls. Looking for you during lunch hour. Hanging out with Gretchen and Karen by where she found out your locker was, hoping to see you going to it between classes. Though she quickly learned you didn't use your locker all that often. Which did disappoint the blonde more than she would ever verbally admit.

It was getting so bad that Gretchen noticed it one day. She raised an eyebrow at Regina when she caught her staring off in the distance at something. Little did she know it was a someone. The four sat at their usual spot, Gretchen had been trying to get Regina's help with some new TikTok trend. When the blonde wasn't responding she looked up from her phone and at Regina. Confused when she seemed to be spacing out.

"Regina?" Gretchen spoke up, Regina simply ignored her. Her features quickly narrowing with frustration and anger as she looked at you.

You. Who was currently being bullied by a group of random jocks she didn't care enough about to name. Jocks that had taken your lunch tray and tossed it in the trash with malicious grins on their faces as they laughed. Regina felt herself snap and before she knew it, she was standing next to you. People had run to get away from her, fearing that they might get caught in Regina's crossfire.

"Hey!" Regina shouted, the jocks froze in place," Take the lunch out of the trash."

The jocks shared a look of confusion. Why was Regina George defending a nobody? What was so special about you? "What?" One asked.

"Take. it. out." Regina emphasized each word, her tone dangerous. You just stood there helplessly and watched as the blonde defended you. Even if it wasn't you she was mad at, you couldn't help feeling intimidated; and turned on?

The jock who had thrown the food in the trash grimaced as he reached in and pulled it out, turning his head at the sight of the trashed food. Gross. Regina smirked.

"Eat it." Regina said. Her tone sounding even sharper, laced with authority. You understood now exactly why everyone was so intimidated by her. The jocks tensed, looking between each other like 'is she for real'? "No, sorry? Did I stutter? I said eat it." The way she said sorry made it sound more like she was offended than apologetic. As if, did they seriously have the nerve to question her command?

Very hesitantly, the jock took a bite... then proceeded to throw up in the trashcan. Regina folded her arms, watching this happen with a smug expression.

"Go on, don't waste it." Regina couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

Oh. my. God? Regina George was easily the most intimidating and hottest person you've ever laid your eyes on. You stood there, jaw dropped to the floor as you swallowed. Just... Christ. Respectfully.

The jock's hands gripped the side of the trashcan until his knuckles were white; he silently shook his head, face paler than a ghost with green hints. Looking like he might just throw up again. The thrill Regina was getting from this was almost too much for her as a smirk tugged on her lips, eyes never leaving the jock. She took a picture to spread around social media later.

"No?" She questioned, taking a step forwards. His friend took a step back while the one Regina was focused on froze. A soft pink coloured his cheeks as embarrassment flooded through him, she was about to continue when you seemed to finally find your voice again.

Taking a step towards her. It was safe to speak up if you weren't the target? Right? "Regina, I think he gets it-"

She snapped her head towards you. You froze. Wrong. Maybe you weren't as safe as you thought. You couldn't read her expression at all. The silence felt loud, quickly interrupted by the sound of vomiting. Which made you grimace. Regina rolled her eyes but grabbed you by your wrist, her touch not as rough as you expected it to be. Her grip was... surprisingly soft? It sent shivers down your spine as she pulled you away and towards the plastics table. Gretchen, Karen and Cady had been watching the whole interaction. Sharing a look of confusion when Regina pulled you over.

"Regina. What are you doing? She can't sit with us-" Gretchen speaks up, Regina shoots her a glare that silenced the poor girl.

"Whatever I say goes. She sits with us." Regina stated, taking a seat and pulling you down next to her. Did you just join the plastics? According to Regina, yes. According to Gretchen, Karen and Cady... well, you weren't sure. Gretchen and Cady shared similar looks of shock and confusion, Karen had her usual stare.

"So like, what's your name?" Karen didn't know who you were. You weren't surprised, you didn't have any classes with her. you shared health/gym & French with Gretchen, Cady English, French & science, Regina math. So all three at least knew of you.

"Y/N," You offer Karen a shy smile. You weren't good with making friends, since coming to NorthShore you've been eating basically all your lunches in the bathroom to avoid people. That's where you'd been headed before the jocks noticed you.

Gretchen studied you before she sighed softly," Alright. Well, if you're going to be part of our group then you should know our rules."

"Rules?" You looked at Regina, who simply shrugged. You didn't know they had rules.

"Yes, but there isn't a lot." Gretchen informs you," Don't wear a tank top two days in a row- I see you've chosen today as one (you looked down at your tank top with a slight frown)- hair can only be worn as a ponytail one day a week, you can only wear sweats or tracks on Friday, you cannot buy a new shirt without asking us if it looks good on you, friends ex boyfriends are off limits (Cady suddenly blushed) and on Wednesdays we wear-"

"Pink!" Karen says suddenly, cutting off Gretchen who gives her a soft smile.

"Yes, pink." Gretchen nodded her head. i got the rules off a website.

"Right..." You weren't sure how to feel about the rules, you were damn sure you would forget one. Probably the sweats one. You had a lot of sweat pants. Though you didn't have enough time to think about them when Regina suddenly pushed her cheese fries towards you. Shocking Gretchen and Cady further. Gretchen more than Cady.

"Here. Your lunch was trashed. They're cold anyway, I was going to get more." Regina explained briefly, getting right to the point. You couldn't help but stare at her. Why was she being so nice to you? Well, nice might be laying it on too thickly. Her tone still had attitude to it. You were sure nice wasn't the right word to describe how the blonde was behaving, but you couldn't come up with a better one.

"Thank you.." You say, be it a little awkwardly. You didn't mind that they were cold. You were basically starving since your dumbass had missed breakfast that morning, being in such a rush to get to school. So, cold or not you were grateful for the fries as you began eating them. It was the best school food you've ever tasted. Your eyes immediately lit up and looked down at the food in front of you. You were sure that Regina George got special treatment when it came to cafeteria food. How she managed that, you didn't know. You could probably guess, though you didn't care enough to. Your mind just focused on the fries.

Regina gave you a soft smirk as she watched your reaction to the food, finding it adorable. Wait. No. Adorable? She stood from her spot," I'm getting more cheese fries."

With that, she left. Leaving you with the confused Gretchen and Cady... Karen you weren't sure about. She was just sort of vibing. Though she did strike a sudden conversation about Halloween with you, which was a week away (you joined the school year late).

The rest of the school day went rather normally. People stopped messing with you when news about you joining the plastics spread, your classes were uneventful. Though you sat with Cady during science. You two chatted, got to know each other a little better. You found out Cady was a new student from Kenya and Cady found out you used to live in Canada. She wondered what Regina would think of that, if she even knew what Canada was. You were even paired up as lab partners. Your project accidentally exploded, which was more your fault than Cady's. You laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of your neck.

"Sorry about that.. must've mixed it too much." You state, Cady smiles. She wasn't upset with you like you thought she might be; which led you to realize she was the nicest of the plastics. Someone you definitely wanted as your friend.

"You really are Canadian, aren't you?" There was only a bit of teasing in her tone, the rest of it was soft and kindhearted.

You couldn't help but laugh, genuinely this time.

~~~

Soon enough, it was the end of the day. You were about to head for the bus when you heard Regina shout your name. You turned your head behind you and looked at her with confusion, she beckoned you towards her. You swallowed and listened, the bus leaving as you moved away from it. When you glanced back you groaned in frustration. Great, now you didn't have a way home.

"Hurry up, loser!" Regina shouted at you, you turned your attention to her again and picked your pace up. Reaching the four rather quickly. "Come on." The blonde took your wrist in that same soft grasp that made you smile as you followed her.

"Where we going?" You asked, Regina scoffed as if it were obvious.

"My place, duh." She stated.

~~~

I'm realizing this will be a multi-part series because I'm too excited about it to not post it now. Super proud of how part one has ended up turning out. Part two will be found (here) and in masterlist once it's done! I haven't even started it though so it will take some time. Feel free to leave requests in the mean time and if you have something specific you'd like to see in part two lmk and i can probably fit it in!

[coraniaid]

In Season 1's Witch Buffy insists on defending Amy's apparent use of magic, even when she thinks she's been cursed by a life-threatening spell that Amy cast on her. "It's not Amy's fault," Buffy tells her friends, "She only became a witch to survive her mother".

This is an interesting moment for a couple of reasons. It's one of the last few times on the show that anybody will stand up for Amy Madison, a character who, despite going through multiple horrific experiences through the course of the show, is treated with considerably less sympathy or respect than .... well, take your pick, honestly: I'm not sure I can think of a recurring character the show consistently has less empathy for. But also, of course, Buffy is factually wrong: it wasn't Amy who cast a spell on her at all, but rather her mother Catherine who, we later learn, used magic to steal her daughter's body "a few months ago" and imprisoned her in own home in an attempt to relive her own high school glory days.

But it's also, I think, a possible bit of unintentional foreshadowing. Later on in the show, Amy will go on to become a witch. Not just any witch but, by the standards the show will later adopt, a surprisingly powerful one: already by her second appearance Amy seems to be able to cast spells that the Willow Rosenberg of Season 3 and 4 would have struggled with (the turning people into a rat and back one in particular), and Willow is clearly meant to be some sort of prodigy.

The show never bothers to ask how or why this happened. Amy presumably had access to her mother's old spell books (in the same way Willow was initially teaching herself from Jenny Calendar's notes), but until some point in Season 3, when she starts doing magic with Willow and Michael, Amy doesn't seem to have had any one else helping her. (Although one slightly depressing possibility raised -- I think unintentionally -- by Season 6 is that Amy was already going to see Rack as early as the high school seasons: how else would she know how to find him in Wrecked only days after being turned back into a human and after having been trapped in the form of a rat since Season 3's Gingerbread?).

But, again, why is Amy doing this? We know a lot about why Willow wants to become a witch. We can guess why Tara -- whose own relationship with her mother is almost the exact opposite of Amy's -- became a witch. What about Amy herself? What is her motive? There are much easier ways to cheat on tests, surely. Are we supposed to assume that being an evil witch is hereditary or something? (Certainly the show hadn't quite yet decided what it wanted witchcraft to be a metaphor for, for all that Amy's second appearance literally begins with her asking Willow if she's planning to attend the school's Valentine Dance.)

Well, consider how Witch ends. Buffy and Catherine are fighting, Catherine casts a spell to ensure that Amy "never makes trouble again", the spell backfires and Catherine vanishes. The audience know what happen to her, but none of the characters ever find out ("There's been no sign of her?" Buffy asks Amy after she's got her own body back.) Maybe Amy wasn't quite as confident about not having to worry about her mother anymore as she claims to be. Maybe she was worried that her new idyllic life with her father wouldn't last for long (and... well, it doesn't). Maybe she was afraid about what would happen to her if her mother ever came back looking for revenge and Amy still wasn't strong enough to defend herself.

So maybe Buffy was right after all. Maybe Amy did become a witch to survive her mother.

[bonesandthebees]

Has Tommy(innit) said anything about whats all happening?

About Wilbur?

also could you explain whats going on, please?

I kind of know but not too well, I just woke up, got news Wilbur abused someone, and everyone saying 'fuck wilbur'.

I will not support anyone who supports abuse in any way, but please understand that this is quite a shock to wake up too.

oh man I am feeling so bad for people who haven't been aware of anything that's been going on the past week

alright, a week ago Shubble (aka Shelby), a popular mcyt streamer/youtuber who has been in the scene for a very long time, did a stream talking about her last relationship. she didn't name her ex-boyfriend, but discussed all the ways in which he physically and emotionally abused her throughout their relationship and how she didn't realize it until later. their stream was largely meant to spread awareness of domestic abuse and the warning signs of it. and although they didn't name him, the details they mentioned about their ex made it pretty clear wilbur soot was their ex. twitter blew up talking about it, some people tried to claim shelby wouldn't want them to speculate so she made a tweet saying it's not that she didn't want to name her abuser, it's that she couldn't. since everyone had already been theorizing it was wilbur it was pretty well understood at this point that if their abuser wasn't wilbur, they would've said so. alongside this, a trumpeter who used to tour with lovejoy and a photographer for the band both heavily implied shelby's ex was wilbur.

after trending for five days straight on twitter with everyone talking about the allegations, wilbur posted a statement yesterday confirming that yes, he is the ex shelby was referring to, and 'apologized' for his behavior. except his apology brushed aside all of the emotional abuse he put her through, and in the same statement he claimed he thought the physical abuse (where he would bite her all the time to the point of her being covered in bruises) was consensual and a 'playful' thing despite the fact that shelby explained it was anything but. basically, his apology was dogshit and was him trying to avoid taking any kind of accountability for what he put her through. many many cc's in the twitch sphere, including wilbur's former circle of friends, replied pointing out how terrible his apology was.

tommy has not said anything yet, but also I don't expect him to say anything so soon. he just had surgery, like, what, 2 weeks ago? pretty sure he's still hopped up on pain meds. not to mention, he and wilbur have been incredibly close friends since tommy was 16. it's not easy to come to terms with the fact that someone you've known since you were 16 and looked up to as an older brother is not the person you thought they were.

alongside that, ranboo streamed yesterday and discussed the situation. they've been vocal in their support of shelby on twitter, and also told their viewers to give other cc's time for a response. they pointed out a lot of their friends are only just now learning what kind of person wilbur really is. they also said that some other cc's might not make statements at all and might just silently distance themselves from wilbur.

also, shelby herself liked this tweet yesterday

so yeah, I wouldn't expect to hear from tommy directly on this for a while, if ever. I also wouldn't be surprised if he just silently distances himself from wilbur instead of saying anything outright.

[groenendaelfic]

you know I wasn't going to comment on anything s3 in detail or write a super long divisive post because that's draining and tiring and I just want everyone to have fun and find joy in fandom in whatever way is best for them. And yet here we are. Who'd have thought?

All I wanted from season 3 was for Wilmon to talk to and with each other, to get to know each other (better) and to try to understand and support each other and grow together. To be a couple in love and working on their relationship, learning from each other. Them against the world, facing problems together as a team. I wanted romance and hugs and honesty, and all I got was them being horny. I mean don't get me wrong I love them being horny, but I don't want that to be their entire (positive) relationship and the only thing they have going for them as a couple. Please just have an actual, proper conversation with each other?

This post however is not about that. This post is about Kristina.

I hate what they did with her. I hate her entire character arc (if you can call it that) in s3. I hate what triggered her breakdown. I hate that instead of breaking the circle of abuse and emotional and physical neglect she no doubt suffered, she perpetuated it.

She left her son alone when he needed her most. When all he needed was a hug and a good long cry and the assurance that he's not alone, that she's there for him. That she understands. For someone (his family) to be there and listen and assure him that for them, Wille comes first. (I mean not all, he also needed proper therapy for one, but that'd have been a great and important start)

Wille is a child. Her child. Wille needed her and she failed him. She pushed him away and she sent him away and she left him alone.

(the same is true for Ludvig of course, it'd be extremely sexist etc to not put the exact same expectations and blame on him as well, but alas this post is only indirectly about him as everything always is at best)

However.

Her son is dead.

She's been groomed to believe her entire purpose in life is to be a mascot (which comes with very specific expectations and restrictions she herself said she struggled to adapt to) and to give birth to the next mascot.

I don't pity her for that, but that's still her entire identity and purpose in life. It's always been, and now the next mascot is dead and she has to burden the son she thought would be spared with it all, pun very much intended.

But let's return to my first point first. Her son is dead. Not just the next mascot. Her son.

Yes, Wille's brother died as well and I'll never make light of that. It's horrible and a grief and pain impossible to put into words. Especially as a kid or young teen. Wille needs all the support. Still.

It's not the same.

I know it's not the same because I know exactly what it's like. Both of it.

Granted I'm not a queen, but I did have a cousin who died aged sixteen. We lived in the same house their entire life and shared a bedroom for years. We were like siblings. It was my first time experiencing the death of a close loved one and it was horrible. We all struggled for a long time. Their siblings and I and the entire family, and they will never be forgotten, but it broke my aunt and uncle. Fifteen years later and they're still broken.

I also have two sons and a spouse who are dead (no I didn't lose them, I know exactly where they are) and I promise you it's not the same. A dead sibling is nothing like a dead child. (not that it's a competition)

I'm not going to talk about what it does to you internally, but I will tell you what you'll experience from the outside world when your family dies excitingly enough to make it to the local newspaper. Then feel free to multiply it by a large number of your own choosing when you're royalty and the entire country is looking at you and you've been groomed to never lose composure.

Everyone will call and show up and want to show their support and their condolences (that lasts until about a week or so after the funeral). And they will get two words in and break down and cry, each and every one of them, and then it's your job to console them and be strong and deal with all the arrangements and lawyers and bureaucracy. And it'll have to be you for most things no matter how supportive your family might be, because it's you who needs to sign shit and show the school a death certificate. Everyone will mean well, but it'll be everyone else who'll require reassurance and you who'll have no choice but to function because at first there's so much to do. So much. You won't have time to breathe until after the funeral, and after that there're still so much more to do and take care of you'd never have considered before. For weeks. You can ask someone else to drive you but it'll still be you who's required to show up and do the thing. Some things will drag out for months and more. You don't have time to break down and be weak. You can't afford to, because you also have a job and other responsibilities and a duty to your dead loved ones.

But then the day comes when it's 'over' and there's nothing more to do. Sure people still look at you with pity and whisper behind your back wherever you go and fall quiet, unsure how to react or what to say, because you're now the lady who lost her family in a freak accident, but everything and everyone else moves on. That's normal. It can't not. But it's that quiet after which is the most dangerous.

I hate that they made Kristina's breaking point her son publicly coming out as queer, renouncing following traditions without thought and admitting to having been in the video. I hate it so much, because that was a choice made with an entirely different motive behind the one I'll expound on now and I hate that. Don't instrumentalize grief and the loss of a child and sibling to further prove and underline your political agenda (which I agree with). It cheapens it and was very much unnecessary. We all would've gotten the point without it as well.

But you know what? I can't fault Kristina for that.

You don't know your breaking point until you reach it. It can be anything. There's a reason the saying goes 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. Everyone has a different one and they often feel very ridiculous to oneself (which is a very helpful feeling in that situation, believe me /s). I've talked to numerous people who've gone through something similar. In my support group and in grief counseling and group therapy. No one I've met had a 'logical' breaking point.

Mine came late last fall when I saw a robin outside my window. Yes a bird. We'd have one come every winter to eat the oats and raisins etc we put out for it, and my youngest would spend endless hours every day before dusk looking out that window waiting for the robin to come and eat for a few moments at a time, less if he started clapping out of excitement.

That was it. Boom. I was useless for the next seven weeks.

You don't let your grief overcome you. That isn't a choice. You don't choose not to function when a loved one dies. You don't choose to be depressed or to have the most ridiculous thing be your breaking point. You don't choose to be too strong to not let the grooming break you or to be too weak to be unable to break out of it. And you don't choose to be unable to sit at a birthday party and enjoy cake with a son you know you'll have to force into a role he never wanted, the one your dead son was supposed to fill.

Does that make Kristina any less of a shitty mom? No, of course not. Nor does it change anything for Wille. Kristina's grief shouldn't be Wille's concern. But you don't choose any of that, and the stronger you have to appear the farther you'll fall once you just can't hold it together anymore.

I grew up with a very large, multicultural extended family. There wasn't an hour I was awake at home as a kid when I wasn't hugged or kissed by a younger cousin or aunt or my mom (it was super annoying). We talked and still talk about everything. I married into a family which was a bit less physical and more Swedish in showing their affection, but they are still very open and loving and genuine. I had all the support I could ask for. They're the best and I couldn't have asked for more.

It's not enough. Your child is dead. And Kristina had none of that.

Is Kristina (and Ludvig) super annoying for going on and on and on about Erik and how perfect he was? About always bringing him up when they have a son right there who needs them desperately?

Yes. It annoyed me too. I kept catching myself being furious on Wille's behalf and Simon's with how Wille reacted to the not-comparison between Erik and Sara. But I understand Wille's reaction to Simon and I understand Kristina and Ludvig.

Because once your child / sibling / spouse / dog dies?

They become perfect. My oldest once poured syrup where he shouldn't (it was a Nordic winter night and the car was thirsty) resulting in us being out of our only car, our insurance laughing at us, and us unable to afford a new one. It cost a lot of money, my spouse almost their job and made our life a lot harder for well over a year. He was old enough to know better (and leave the house by himself to go outside and play). He never did anything wrong in his life. He was perfect. They were all perfect.

Erik? What we learn about him is horrifying, and it being normalized and dare I say institutionalized, with him probably not having second guessed his actions, makes it worse instead of better. I do believe Erik was the kind of guy who just didn't (care to) think and merely did what was expected without further thought. That doesn't make it better either, because those kinds of people are the ones who keep corrupt systems running. I might be wrong about his character entirely, but it doesn't matter, because as soon as he died he became perfect.

It's weird what death does to our perception of a loved one. Or maybe not. It's also weird what death does to our perception of everything, because suddenly everything will remind us of that person.

A cloud? A scent? A sound? Toilet paper? Kristina is at the stage where everything she sees and feels and smells and hears will remind her of Erik and his death. Of how he's dead and now Wille has to become him and that is the worst.

Also her son is dead.

No she can't just pull herself together and eat the damn cake. Everything she talks about is Erik because everything she currently is is Erik. Her son who is dead.

There is a reason this is such an often used trope in fiction.

Kristina spent all her life being told that her duty to the throne is her only purpose in life. Be queen. Represent Sweden. Produce an heir. Part of why she's as old as she is is no doubt because Pernilla August is awesome and you can't not hire her when that's an option, but nothing else in this show is a coincidence and done without thought, so I refuse to believe that Kristina hasn't always been meant to be an older mom.

Maybe she had fertility issues. Maybe she for whatever reason didn't want kids and put it off for as long as she could. She's certainly not maternal. Unlike every other woman her generation, no one ever expected her to be maternal. That's not her job.

Quite the opposite. Kristina is old enough to have been raised at a time when royal mothers weren't expected to have any hand in raising their children except for approving (or rather disapproving chosen) nannies and playmates and tutors and the like. She was very likely the first female heir apparent, or maybe she was simply the heir because she had no (male) siblings. Either way her job was always to be a monarch, not a woman or a mother. That's what staff is for. That's not an excuse, but it does explain her as a character.

She was groomed and forced herself to adjust (I do believe forced is the right word, because unlike Erik she seems to (have) be(en) a lot more like Wille than she'd like to admit). She had to be strong and queen and represent Sweden. And then her son and heir died and she failed at both.

I do believe Erik was always the 'easier' child, doing what he was told and taking only the freedoms he knew he'd be granted, while Wille is willful, argues, has a temper and his own head. (that doesn't mean Erik was happier or better adjusted)

And now Erik is dead and Wille has to fit the mold. Wille who got to go to a normal school and clubbing and was let to run wild with little preparation for the role he'd someday have to support his brother with. Arguments can be made that Kristina and everyone else never cared about Wille until they needed him, but I'd like to think she meant well and gave him the freedom she could, and because she is a bad parent she thought she was being kind, and because she is queen no one told her otherwise until it became a problem.

Kristina has never been a good parent, and I honestly believe saying someone meant well is an insult and not an excuse, but I do believe she tried the best with what she knew, the best she could.

It wasn't enough, it was the opposite of enough, but she tried and her breakdown is not a weakness but something which was a long time in coming.

She's not maternal. Her job wasn't to be maternal. Her job is to be a mascot and have other people make sure the next mascot is fed and watered and able to perform. Her being too brainwashed to see how horrifying that is does not make her innocent or any less of a bad mother, but why would she think of acting any other way?

She's ashamed of her breakdown. She can't be weak. Not in front of the nation and not in front of her son and heir. Wille can learn and grow and change. Everyone can and it's never too late, but Kristina here is meant to be what Wille risks becoming if he doesn't, if he gives up and becomes a thoughtless mascot.

Kristina is not a victim and I can't forgive her for being a shit mom, but she's also not the devil. She's a mother who lost her child, and she's spent her whole life being told that the worst thing she can do is to appear weak.

Well guess what? At one point that simply doesn't work anymore.

This post by the lovely @voldiebeth is what motivated me to write a similar one. I originally planned on reblogging and merely adding my own thoughts, and I did talk to her before posting, but then it became something even more personal than originally planned, and considering the difficulty of the subject I found myself more comfortable making this a standalone post. I know that's not proper tumblr etiquette, but please bear with me. Many thanks to @voldiebeth for motivating me to put my convoluted thoughts and feelings in writing and order them a bit. It was very cathartic.

[petra-creat0r]

Deltarune: Fool's Fate Chapter 1 Shopkeep

Okay so this should be the last important character ref for Chapter 1, aka the Attic World. (i need a better name for this Dark World.) After this my plan is to post the minor characters like enemies, NPCs, and Minibosses but once those are out, I'm not sure what to start on next. I have many things I could work on, it's just a matter of choosing. Thus why shortly after posting this, I'll be putting up a poll. Anyways! Onto Jeanie!

The shopkeep of the first area, aka the Dusty Plains, Jeanie (like the spirit) is a mystic snake who lives alone in her tent and tells the fortunes of whoever enters. If we're to think in terms of mapping parts of the Attic World to Chapter 1 of Deltarune proper, imagine Jeanie as the Seam of the chapter. Some of her dialogue even makes mention to the cat plush, even though the two have never met proper.

Her name is a play on "genie", being said the same, just spelled differently, and tying to her mystic, fortune-teller vibe and occupation. As for inspiration, asides from taking on the appearance of a hooded cobra (a lot of the Attic World has some snake ties because of Broadway), Jeanie is an old fortune telling machine. I'm not sure if she's the full machine, or just a part of it, but that is her Light World counterpart. Her connection to tarot cards is likely due to the machine incorporating them into it's gimmick.

Being the first shopkeep, Jeanie's wares are rather basic. A healing item found a few times prior to meeting her, aka the Fortune Cookie, a stronger healing item in the Stitched Stew, a basic armor in the Crystal Lace, and a weapon for Chicago in the Fortune Cutters. I have descriptions for each of those items incase anyone's interested.

For a better look at her character, here's a quote from her shop dialogue when you ask Jeanie about herself.

"The name is Jeanie, like the spirit. Mystical Serpent of Mystery. This tent is my where I sell mystical charms and read palms, paws, and tails. I've seen quite a lot in my time telling fortunes. The past, the present... Perhaps even the future. Hee hee hee..."

Aside from asking about herself, during their first encounter with Jeanie, the player would be able to ask Jeanie about the Magician, ask for a Card Reading, or ask Jeanie how she was expecting the party based on her shop enter dialogue (depicted in the image above). Some of her dialogue will change later in the chapter, mostly after running into her a second time in the second area (the Feathered Forest) or once encountering Dorothy (the secret boss) both before and after fighting her. Under the cut is a list of what Jeanie has to say in her talk options.

You were expecting us?

"Legends have spread far and wide of Lightners who will come to seal fountains. Three legendary heroes who will save both light and dark from calamity. More recently, there have been tales and rumors among the Upper Choir of three young heroes destined to replace the Blue Knight and dethrone the High Priestess.

Call it premotion, call it fate, if you will... I simply call it inevitable that we would meet."

The Magician?

"Hmm? I'm afraid I do not know of the cat you speak off." She grins "Hee hee hee. Just kidding. You mean Magico, correct? He is quite the trickster, isn't he? I heard he's been trying capture the Lightners who've come to seal the Fountain. All in the name of the High Priestess. He wasn't always under her reign. None of us were. Our land did not have a singular, set ruler until recently. We were ruled by a collective choir. Until one day, a mysterious knight appeared, and appointed the highest Choir member, the Priestess, into power. After which, she appointed Magico the Head Magician and her right hand. It's been quite some time since this land has seen such upset in the Choir. Not since... Well, perhaps it's better you not learn of that just yet."

Card Reading (Beginning of Chapter, before Broadway joins party)

"The Fool, The Magician, and The High Priestess. It seems your journey is just beginning, young heroes. Yet I sense great potiental and power shining within you. Perhaps such potential will aid you in the facing the powers and entities yet unknown. Even still, buying a small protection charm wouldn't hurt."

Reading (Encountering Jeanie outside of her shop in Feathered Forest with Broadway)

"I left my cards back at my tent, but I can still read your fate through the vibrations of your soul. Hmm... Interesting. I sense a lack of control. A slipping of string. Perhaps brought on by someone close to you interfering with your prior norm? ... I suggest you talk things out with them, young hero."

Card Reading (Back tracking after CK and Remie re-join the party again but before the Chapel)

"Three of Cups, Eight of Swords, and Five of Wands. It seems the rest of your party has returned to you. Though you've been apart for a time, it's important to remember the value of working as a team. Especially since a great challenge still awaits you all on the path ahead. The Chapel and Priestess still lie ahead, young heroes. Be weary not to let your own ambition and feelings get in the way of your collective goal."

Card Reading (Back tracking after entering the Choral Chapel)

"The High Priestess, reversed Nine of Swords, and Nine of Wands. It seems the final leg of this journey lays before you, young ones. Soon you shall duel with the Priestess to end her tyrannical reign. Bringing a new light to this land. However such a battle can wait for a little while. Your adventure has been long and tiring, has it not? Why not take a short rest? I can make some tea and read the leaves before you must set off once more."

Odd Doll (After first talking to Dorothy)

"I sense you three have come across a strange presence oddly familiar but which you've never known. A strange prisoner whom speaks in stitched together tongue? ... So I see. Seems the Magician couldn't hide her from all eyes forever. ... I see many paths if you chose to go down this route more, yet oddly enough... The one in which you try and release her holds the most promise. It would not be my personal advice but... The stars have yet to steer me wrong yet. Perhaps dealing with the doll once and for all will yield a brighter future for everyone. ... Perhaps it was wrong to lock her away to begin with. A key? I do not hold it, but I have a sense as to were the Magician hid it. Hidden among the trees, in the thicket of the dark. You'll find the path you seek, if you chose to take the lark. That's all the advice I can give, so I would advise turning to the Magician if you get stuck further. I wish you luck on your journey, young ones, and my the stars guide your path."

"Gate blocking your path? As I said, I can offer no more advise. Perhaps seek the Magician for assistance."

Odd Doll (After opening Dorothy's cell)

"So you say you've opened the door? That explains the wrathful energy I feel far away..." I'm afraid can't see where your future leads from here. Do tell me how this plays out, if you can. Or don't. I merely predict your path, only you can decide it."

About DOROTHY (After defeating Dorothy)

"Judgment, Reversed six of wands, and The Chariot. I may not have known that doll for long, but I knew her cards, her fate, the path the stars laid out for her. Or perhaps the path she forged herself… Once she was nothing more than a blank doll. No face, no name, no path. She was a fool just as you are. Yet one day, she came across a strange someone and it seemed her stars had finally aligned. She had been gifted an identity and purpose from some higher power, she said. To this day, I still don't quite understand what she meant by that. Rambling on about the Truth, or our purpose, of creating our own stars…Yet I didn't NOT understand at the same time… At some point she was let into the Upper Choir, but even they eventually grew annoyed with her ramblings. And so they cast her out. Exiled her back to these dust ridden plains. She grew enraged, filled with an anger and hatred for all that betrayed her. She had to be locked away before she could hurt anyone else. It shames me that I had to be the one to call the guard… Ever since, I've mulled over the cards and stars, seeking answers to what she said. Yet the skies shone dark and the cards even darker. The only thing I've come back with are more questions than when I started. It makes one wonder…How much of the universe and fate can be understood and predicated… And how much can only be navigated by the blind?"

We Won (After defeating Dorothy)

"The six of wands, the Tower, and the Devil. So, it is true? You really defeated her? Then you three truly must be the heroes of legend after all… However be warned, DOROTHY is merely the first step in your fool's journey. There is still a long way to go, and many more obstacles to face. And one day soon… even the most darkest evil of all. Hee hee hee… Well, I can only wish you luck. Perhaps once you reach that point You can come back here and I shall read your scattered destiny once more."

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31 39s 38, 27 6 7 4 50 39 44, 15 19t 21ly

31 39s 38, 27 6 7 5 50 39 44, 16 6 9

31 39s 38, 27 6 7 1 50 39 44, 41 re49 39

31 39s 38, 27 6 7 3 50 39 44, 40 6 2 25

31 39s 38, 27 48 8st 50 50 39 23, 35 32 27 13

31 39s 35 32, 27 34 4feated. 50 39 35 32, 46s 10 47ed.

31 33s 34 39, 27 34 & 29 50r 18, yet 6 2 45ed

31 28s 22, can 35t 6 11ed 50 28 36, of 26 this 10 20s

31 43s the 24, 27 43s 15 in 47, 30 & 42ess, 34ly 14.

31 39s 38, 24ish 27 39ed 6. 50r 47 37 32. 17 39, will 35t 50?

[hwnglx]

this was a complex and long one. the more i read on wonyoung, the more in awe i get of her. like wow we all need to learn a thing or two from this girl. she's a queen.

wonyoung's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: 28 reasons by seulgi

+ so unsurprisingly, this girl is a professional through and through. very common pattern for people who entered the industry at an early age. hard work in the entertainment business comes to them astoundingly easy. (something i saw for ni-ki previously)

she's just as polished and sophisticated off cam, as she is on cam. very focused on maintaining a clean image even behind the scenes, she's aware that's what can make or break a public figure. quite a few idols put on an angel act when cameras are on them, but allow themselves to be reckless beyond closed doors. wonyoung knows people talk, there's this sense of a continuously cautious “trust nobody” in her. this is something that sets her apart from many others. wonyoung is very aware that things will get out eventually, so she's incredibly eager to withhold a flawless reputation even behind the scenes. she's also extremely protective of what is hers, whether that's her material possessions (money, expensive or cherished items), the image she's worked hard on maintaining, her loved ones and cherished relationships. wonyoung puts a lot of value into keeping them in check, making sure they're taken care of.

i looked up her mars sign and immediately went “aaah” as soon as i saw it's in virgo, because she seems to be outstanding at planning. wonyoung is very calculated, everything she does she's fully aware of. she always acts while exactly knowing the effects it has on, not only herself, but the people around her. this is also a quality she doesn't only use for her own good, but many people around her seem to appreciate. since she's incredibly intuitive, she can combine those two qualities, which makes for a person who's great at identifying and reading situations, and wisely acting according to this profuse intuition. for example, if someone she's close to is telling her about their struggles, she not only is great at making them feel cared about and listened to, offering them emotional understanding and support, but also excellent at grasping the problem and conflict, and providing the person with helpful solutions on how to act. random thought, but i could see her being a pretty good psychologist, or lawyer. (did she ever talk about wanting to work in medicine or law if she wasn't an idol?)

wonyoung is very smart. not only emotionally intelligent, but also very eloquent. great at speaking and finding the right words at the right time. there's also a lot of drive in this girl, like so much. she has a very determined attitude, which can be contagious to the people around her. amazing at pulling people out of situations that seem hopeless, and giving them courage to move forward. a very good team player, she's capable of adjusting to her co-workers and compromising, finding a middle-ground for the sake of the team. i can see many people truly enjoying to work with her, because she doesn't only have such a profound understanding of what she's doing, but is also considerate of the people around her.

lastly, this girl literally pulls the strings, has most people at the palm of her hands with ease. especially in a romantic manner, if any men mess with wonyoung.. make no mistake, she will not be played by them but instead play them swiftly, probably without them even noticing until later. the type to smile at you and hug you while stabbing an injection with your own poison in your back, knowing you did this to yourself. type to beat you at your own game while smiling politely.

she will not allow anyone to trick her, make a fool out of her. she reads and understands behaviorial patterns very well, so it just isn't easy to mislead her. however! best believe she only does this to people who do her wrong first. people who deserve it. it's giving “i'm sweet and respectful to everyone but, you better know not to mess with me, because that's when you'll get to see a different side to me” as i mentioned, i can see her being pretty cut-throat when it comes to men. especially in the industry. many weird ass men in there, wonyoung does not allow them to put themselves above her, just because of their bizarre gender superiority complex. (i remember this spiting some male idols in my reputation reading lmao well..) there's this thing of her always remaining crazy polite though, and doing just enough for payback. in this smart manner in which she can't be blamed or faulted for it.

- i hate to say this, but wonyoung can have her entitled princess tendencies. it's kinda giving spoiled rich girl who not only expects the best treatment, but is also so selective over who she calls her friends, depending on their status. not sure if she grew up in a rich household, but this seems like something that comes very naturally to her. she's very very meticulous, very very picky and perfectionistic. even if she doesn't always express it in a mean or aggressive way, it can just rub people the wrong way since it can give off pick me energy. i can see her being all “hmmm no” about some potentially beneficial things in her career like jobs or opportunities, just because she can feel superior to them. like she's above them. very much boss energy and it again, is incredibly smart in several ways, but sometimes it can be off putting, she isn't always right in her judgement without fail.

she's so invested in closely managing people's image of her, that she can quickly drive herself crazy over trivial details. there seems to be a lot of fear when it comes to letting go of this obsession and control over her reputation, as well as making herself vulnerable. wonyoung seems to have a lot of trust issues. this comes up everytime i read for her.. there's this constant feeling like everyone is out to get her somehow. i think she's seen a lot of shit happen in the industry, people in the business can be cruel and cold. just like the public, they can often look at and treat idols as these emotionless dolls. due to this, wonyoung can easily get mistrustful of people with pure and good intentions. she protects her heart in a very fierce manner. (this could for sure go up to the green flags but her immense trust issues seem to potentially stand in the way of her forming genuine and healthy connections too)

she's so scared of appearing easy to attack, easy to hurt or easy to access and weak. she hates crying in front of people, and always puts on a perfect mask she hides all her inner struggles behind. she's scared of baring her true soul to people because she doesn't like the thought of them seeing her as a flawed person. wonyoung sets herself up to skyhigh standards, because she believes she's lacking and unworthy of praise if she doesn't meet those expectations. she feels like she needs to be perfect for people to like her, which is sad and ironic, because.. they literally go on hating on her for appearing so perfect. people need to calm the hell down, shut the hell up and realize their words are making her put on even more of an act, hide herself even further, since she's actually so easily hurt. her heart is much softer than people realize, and much softer than she herself would like it to be.