#it’s STUNNING that they actually followed through with it but the utter JOY of good storytelling

[un-pearable]

ok. i was like 99.9999999999 % confident they werent going to actually follow through on that but there is still the 0.00000000001% chance they would and . i was. that was very shockgin.

mHM!!!!!!!!!

[ellana-ravenwood]

“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : After a few shitty weeks of everything going wrong, you somehow find yourself faking a relationship with the one and only Bruce Wayne. 

That’s it. I did it. After 3 years posting stories on this platform, I finally succumb to one of the biggest fanfiction cliché of all time haha. The infamous fake boyfriend trope. And I really hope you will like it : 

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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The Gap Year of Disaster

Today, you were an utter mess, and you couldn’t care less.

You know, this kind of days where you wish you would just have stayed in bed ?

Where everything goes wrong and you just want to hide under your blanket and pretend you don't have any responsibilities ?

Well today…Today was most definitely this kind of day.

It was suppose to be your first day at an exciting new job and you were so psyched about it, that you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. 

You finally fell into a deep slumber during the very early hours of the day, and…

Of course you woke up late ! You didn't have time to take a shower, or to do your make-up nicely or even to brush your hair. But worst of all you didn't have time to get coffee !

When you got out with your bike….it was pouring outside. Ah but of course, because when one thing goes wrong everything has to follow. Everything WILL go wrong. Murphy's law or some stupid things like that !

It's in those moments you wish you had a car ! Because when it rained in Gotham…It felt like Noah was ordered to built another ark !

So, sleep deprived, soaked, in a bad mood and looking like a mess, you managed, by some miracle, to arrive at your job on time.

Only to discover that this wasn’t at all what you were expecting. It was NOT what was promised to you, which was experience in an exciting workplace and a way to make the most of it. 

Instead, it was a desk job where you ran errand for everyone. Amazing. 

This was supposed to be your first try at “real life”, this was why you took that gap year from college. 

“I want to find myself, find who I really am !” You told everyone around you, ignoring those who were negative and telling you you should finish your study first. 

Now, as you were stuck in a tiny cubicle with an endless list of coffee orders you had to get for everyone else, you felt like maybe they were right, and that this wasn’t quite the way you were going to “find yourself”. 

Then again, wasn’t it through hardship that this sort of things unlocked ? Wasn’t it with great determination and knowing how it was to struggle, that you were going to thrive ? That’s what they said in TED talks dedicated to “success”...

So far in your life, things had been rather normal. Not particularly easy, but not hard either. You grew up in a small town in New Jersey, no troubles on the horizon. You then moved to Gotham for college as you had a scholarship for Gotham’s University, and as you were about to start your third year you sort of questioned wether or not this was your path...

One of your favorite professor told you to maybe take a gap year. A few semesters off, to think things through. Taking advantage of it to do some soul searching and try to know what you really wanted and...It sounded wonderful ! 

That’s when you started to have job interviews in many different fields, and it took you three months to finally find something. Three very stressful months of wondering how long you could live off of your measly savings, and wether or not you’d have to move back in with your parents (anything but that !)...Not a very good start to that gap year for sure. 

And when you landed what you thought was going to be a great job, things definitely were looking up ! Ah, but the fact that you were chosen while you had NO experience and such, should’ve been your first warning that this was too good to be true. 

You were trying to stay positive though. Maybe it was only for the first day ? Maybe their coffee person was sick or something ? It’d get more interesting later ? Yes. Yes let’s keep a positive outlook on everything. 

Except right now, as your entire morning was made of you walking up and down the building (the elevator was not working, but of course), to the coffee shop at the corner of the street, and bringing back orders for people, you didn’t feel in the mood to try and stay cheery. 

And the worst in all that ? You didn't even get ONE cup for yourself…This “real life” thing was not starting very well. 

And so here you were, during your lunch break, looking like a mess, bag under your eyes and still wet from the rain (your trips up and down the street for coffee runs not helping drying yourself off), your morale at its lowest..And…

"That'll be 3 dollars and 50 cents for the large latte with triple espresso shot, m'am."

Catastrophe. 

Proof that things could ALWAYS get worst. 

As you were looking through your bag, you couldn't find your wallet !

Did you leave it at home ?! Maybe. 

People at your work gave you the money to buy them coffee (and not a single tips, bunch of cheapskates). And you didn’t notice you were missing that oh so essential part of your daily life...Your credit card. Or any type of money. 

Damn it ! 

“Um, excuse me miss, that’s 3,50 please ?”

“Oh yes yes, um, you know what I just-” 

“Here, miss, you dropped this.” 

As you were about to explain that in fact, you didn’t need coffee (even if when you asked for it you might’ve mentioned it being a question of “life or death”), too embarrass to admit you didn’t have the money to buy it, a...very handsome man handed you a twenty dollars bill. 

You were a hundred percent sure this wasn’t yours. You never carry lose cash like this. A quick look to his kind deep blue eyes, and soft smile, and you realize...

Oh. Great. A total (very handsome) stranger took pity of you. 

You probably looked even worst than you felt. You were about to say this was a mistake, but before you could, he gave the bill to the barista, and left with a last smile to you, taking his own cup of coffee away with him. 

Damn. You didn’t have time to say “thank you”. He vanished as fast as he appeared, disappearing in the crowd of the busy coffee shop. 

“Here’s your change, m’am.” 

“Ah you know what ? Keep it buddy. Thanks for the coffee.�� 

“Wow, thanks !” 

You were pretty sure that barista never had such a big tip, and it oddly made you feel better, to make someone else’s day like that. Your grandma did always say that you found true joy from helping others...

Oh, yeah, ok, you just helped someone out, why was the universe so angry at you ?! 

As you turned around and started to leave, almost at the exist of the shop, mood a little better after this nice encounter with a (again, handsome) stranger, and the barista, you see him. 

Him. One of the reason you sort of decided to take a gap year. 

Him. 

Your ex-boyfriend, Eric, who cheated on you with your friend Monica. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good memory. And you hadn’t seen neither him nor her since you left college, especially not since you heard they actually got together. 

Your FRIEND. With your BOYFRIEND. And it went on for a while, before you finally discovered it (that day was as shitty as today...). 

Oh. And of course Eric wasn’t alone. She, was there too. The one you thought was your friend, and who stabbed you in the back like that. Both of them discarding you like a dirty old sock. 

Great. Really. Awesome. This day was going from “bad” to “please kill me.” 

“(Y/N) !” 

He looks surprised to see you, although also a little pleased. And it makes you want to punch him in the face. You don’t care if it’s because he wished things ended another way, they both betrayed your truth and then never even tried to talk to you again afterward. 

You’re not sure you would’ve forgave them, but at least, it would’ve shown they still cared about you in a way. Nobody chooses who they’re going to fall in love with (that, you’d soon discover for yourself). But she was your best friend. And he was with you for over a year. 

She’s a little more awkward than him, and smiles, clearly embarrassed. You always knew she was a bit of a coward, if she wasn’t, she would’ve face you, right ? 

And that’s when it happened. The decision that would forever change your life.

In this great moment filled with despair and awkwardness.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw that nice stranger who paid for your coffee. The handsome one. He didn’t leave the shop, but instead went to seat at a table that was a little further away than the rest of them. 

His eyes were glued to his phone, and you thought : “Well, fuck it, all this can’t get any worst right ?”

You were sort of hoping that, since he had been nice with you once and offered you those twenty dollars without knowing you (although you were very aware it was probably just pity), maybe he could help again ? 

Maybe it was the fatigue, the fact you were getting sadder and sadder, that you had a terrible day, and that you just saw two people you loved and who threw you away like you meant nothing (oh but not before being super fake to you, pretending they WEREN’T cheating behind your back)...maybe it was a combination of all of that, that made you act crazy. 

But here you found yourself, sitting at that stranger’s table, and saying, as he looked up from his phone clearly surprised : 

“How are you guys ? As you can see, I’m great.” 

You don’t dare to look at the handsome stranger, and hope he’ll be too stunned to say anything, and you can make your ex-friend and ex-boyfriend feel embarrass enough they’ll leave quickly. But then Monica says something that makes your heart skip multiple beats : 

“You...You know Bruce Wayne ?!” 

You turn to the man who gracefully paid for your coffee, and your eyes go wide. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How did you NOT recognize him ?! Of course. Chiseled face, beautiful blue eyes, a suit that was definitely worth your entire year’s salary, a very charming aura...

Your hazy mind full of “fuck this day” didn’t register that THE Bruce Wayne, was the one who helped you out. How did you miss that ? His face had been plastered everywhere in Gotham for the past year, since he came back to the city, in fact. 

You hear yourself wish with all your might to be struck by lightning this instant, as the two assholes who hurt you so much are looking at you expectantly and are not about to live (of course, they just met celebrity BRUCE WAYNE !! Could someone be as unlucky as you were today ?!)

And that’s when you hear a chuckle, a beautiful deep chuckle, and finally turn to look at Bruce. He smiles at you, and takes your hand, saying : 

“Honey, who are your friends ?” 

Your brain go full “ERROR 404″, not quite able to grasp the fact that THE Bruce Wayne just ran with what you were trying to do. How ? How was this possible ? You initially went to sit with him in the hope that Eric and Monica would see you were totally ok and with a hot date, not quite sure still yet how you ever thought this was a good idea and...

It was turning out alright ?! 

HOW ?! 

“Oh um, I’m..Eric. And this is my gir...This is Monica.” 

What a piece of shit. Not even brave enough to call her his “girlfriend” when he cheated on you with her for months and months. You glare at him, unable to stop this gut reaction. 

And that’s something Bruce caught. 

In fact, as soon as you sat down, avoiding looking at him and nervously looking at those two people, Bruce sort of knew you were in an uncomfortable situation. One that made you take an irrational decision. 

And oh, he didn’t like the look Eric and Monica gave you. Like they felt superior as they caught you in a bad moment. Bruce hated, people who thought they were superior to others... 

And you clearly seemed in distress and in need of help so...He ran with it. 

Bruce had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t enough that it felt natural, to run along with what your hazy mind thought was a good idea. 

“Nice to meet you, are you friends with-” 

Damn it. He realized he didn’t know your name. Quick thinking saved him, and he managed to keep his tone even, as to hide his hesitation : 

“My love ?” 

His hand around yours felt warm and reassuring, and you still couldn’t believe that, not only a total stranger, but THE Bruce Wayne was helping you out like that. Especially after you had such a bad day. 

Him calling you his “love” made your exes feel very awkward, and they shake their head “no”, suddenly pretending they’re very busy and have to meet up with someone. They leave the coffee shop, clearly stunned, whispering things to each others that you knew were probably : “how did she get a guy like him ?!”

You can’t help but glare at them some more...But then your hand feels cold again, and you realize Bruce let go off it. Well. Duh. Of course he would. 

You turn to him, your feature softening, and say : 

“Are you an angel ?” 

Ah yes. Your defense mechanism. “Humor”. 

He chuckles, and says : 

“Well, I’m afraid not. My butler would think this is very funny. But thank you.” 

Awkwardly, you rub your neck, your free hand nervously turning your cup of coffee clockwise in your palm. You don’t really know how to end this, what : “thanks for that” and leave ? 

“Thanks for the coffee. And for um...Saving my ass, just there.” 

He smiles, and wow hello white teeth and charming dimples ?! 

“You’re very welcome. They looked like they were jerks.” 

“Haha oh you have no idea.” 

“Glad I could help.” 

“Thanks again. Really. This means a lot, especially since we don’t know each others. Well, I know you. Everyone in Gotham does haha. And ok I’m going to leave now, my lunch break is almost over and I don’t want to make this even more awkward.” 

You start to rise up, but he holds you back by catching your sleeve, and says : 

“Actually miss…?”

“(Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Miss (Y/L/N), you are kind of saving my life right now.”

“…I am ?”

A flash blinds you. Not a lightning, a camera flash. You turn, just in time to see a guy hastily hiding a camera and running away. 

“What the...” 

“A paparazzi. Good timing, for once.” 

“Huh ?” 

You wish you had some witty come back, or would just know what to say. But you’re confused. And this has been a really weird day. 

“I am sorry if this will seem forward, or like I helped you wanting something in exchange. But I promise I will make it worth your while if you just sit back down and listen to me for a few minutes.” 

You sit back down. More because you’re unsure your leg can still support you in this moment, than because he asked you to. With a smile he continues : 

“Thank you. So. Let me explain a little, and again, sorry if this is too forward. If you don’t want to help of course, I would understand. I’m about to ask you something rather odd, I guess. And I’ll clear things up with paparazzis. I also promise I did not help you with your “friends”-”

“They’re not my friends.” 

“I figured that much. And I promise I didn’t help you with them and ran with whatever you were trying, just so I could ask you this.” 

“Ask me what ?” 

“Well, you see…it’s arranged marriage season.”

“What ?”

“Every year, every single rich family try to make me marry their single daughters. It’s a very tiring season, but I’ve never been able to avoid it…I thought about having a fake fiancee before but could never find the right person.”

What he says does not register with you. His clear proposal doesn’t hit your brain. And you just stare at him, waiting for him to keep going. But he doesn’t, and by the way he looks at you, you slowly starts to understand where he’s getting at. 

You gasp, now pretty sure this is all a dream (or a nightmare) and say : 

“And I’m the right person ?”

“Well, yes. You seem to be a...“normal” person.”

“…Thanks.”

“In that case it’s good. It’s very good. It means that if I’m dating you, a woman that has nothing to bring me, then it must be true love.”

“Wow, stop with the flatteries already mister Wayne, I can’t handle it…”

Ah, your slight wits are back. Good sign that you’re regaining your senses. Everything that happened in the last ten minutes still feel like a bad dream, but you’re back in reality now. 

“No no no, I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way ! But it’s just, you’re not rich, and you’re not famous or have political ties. You’re just a regular person. So they won’t think I’m trying to trick them, even if I am, do you know what I mean ?”

“Gotcha. My broke ass person cannot bring you any value, so it must be love and not just an arranged thing they can break. Cool.”

There’s a slight silence. And you find it a little fun, to play a little bit with the famous Bruce Wayne. He seemed so confident and cocky on TV, you never thought you’d be able to make him look so guilty. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you.”

He says, clearly meaning it. But you shake your head and smile at him (and oh why does he feel his heart tightening slightly at your smile ?), and reassure him instantly (you feel a little bad, actually, to mess with him while he did just really do a huge favor to you while he had no obligations to) : 

“Haha, just messin’ around with ya Mster Wayne. I’m not bothered by it, it’s the truth. I’m really broke, and I don’t think you could find more “regular” than me right now. So, and because you really did save my ass from an extremely displeasing experience back there. And also because you allowed me to see those assholes’ face of surprise and “how did she manage that ?!”, tell me more about your plan, and let’s see if I can help you back.”

And so Bruce starts to explain to you how, every year, this beginning of Fall is the worst time ever, as it’s a moment where everyone seems to want to marry off their daughter. And of course, Bruce Wayne is a good “party”. 

The plan was fairly simple. You’d fake a relationship with him, so he could avoid all of this, and in exchange...Well. You’d gain a lot in exchange. 

This is how you started to really feel like you had fallen into a “romcom” by accident...You and Bruce, became an actual living trope. 

************

“And then when the “marrying season” is done, you can break it off.”

“I ?”

“Well yes, I can assure you you’ll gain quite a rep if you break up with me haha.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure you like that sort-of overly confident side of him. But you can see something behind his eyes, like a slight unsureness as he looks back at you, trying to see if you’ll agree or not.

“I don’t really need a “reputation”.”

Breaking up with THE Bruce Wayne himself. For sure people would talk about it a lot, and maybe it would help open some doors for you ? But you felt a little odd taking advantage of this like that. 

Seeing that he hadn’t convinced you quite yet, he adds : 

“Of course, I will pay you.” 

What kind of Pretty Woman sort of nonsense was this ?! You were about to protest when he added, realizing how he sounded : 

“I mean, you ARE doing me a great service. You ARE going to have to act, you know ? An...actual job ? And I will be honest with you, it won’t be easy, to find yourself in the public eye. I think it definitely justify a salary.” 

Put that way, you had to admit that, well, yeah it sort of did. Especially since you knew how crazy tabloids were about Bruce Wayne. Becoming his “girlfriend” would definitely put you on the front lines. 

“And it would truly help me tremendously.” 

Your grandma always said it : “True joy comes out from helping others !” So. What if you benefit from it a little ? If it helps you financially, and you can get a little network out of it ? First rule of Alchemy (what a weeb) : “equivalent exchange” ! Plus, he did really help you with your coffee, but also with Eric and Monica so...

And hey, this gap year was meant to help you find what and who you wanted to be. Help you go through this little twenty-something crisis. And this ? Living a literal romantic comedy cliche by faking being someone’s girlfriend ? Well, it definitely felt like the kind of adventure that could help you figure things out.  

With a smile, you finally nod and shake his hand, not knowing quite yet in which mess you actually put yourself into...

Briefing. 

Like every “secret mission”, this one too needed a “briefing”. 

A little meeting to put all the rules down, and the goals too. 

And here you were, feeling very out of place in a huge conference room in the biggest and tallest building in Gotham : “Wayne Tower”.  

The concierge stared at you for a very long time, when you said you were there to see Mister Wayne. No “nobody” like you ever called for his boss. 

Suspicious, as it was his job, he called security on you...Until it was finally cleared up that you DID have a meeting with Bruce Wayne ! 

Both the concierge, and the security guys, stared at you as you left to take the elevators they indicated to you, wondering who the hell had the kind of credentials to go all the way up there to see their boss ?! They didn’t recognize you from anywhere, not a model, not a famous politician or CEO, just...A regular person ? 

That was odd. And they noticed, it was odd. Which you assumed was what Bruce was aiming for, but it felt so awkward, to walk through this huge hall under their scrutiny. 

You finally arrived on the right floor, and oh look, some more staring. 

From his secretary, this time. She was used to see women coming to see her boss. But they’d usually wear Prada, and have plunging necklines full of pearls and fanciness. They weren’t...like you. 

You felt like it was easy, to know that you were just a “normal” person. You were definitely not wearing any designer clothes, and you were pretty sure the way you carried yourself made you super obvious. 

Hence all the staring. You could clearly see in her eyes, that she was wondering who the hell you were... 

She had her answer when Bruce came out of his office, and made a gesture as if he was going to throw his arm around your waist, and kiss you (which made you downright panic). But then, he looked awkwardly at his secretary, and instead just shook your hand. 

Something that DID NOT go unnoticed by his secretary. 

You saw how her eyes widen, and how she clearly hitched to take her phone out and call everyone...and you realized Bruce did this awkward thing because he knew his secretary, and her tendency to be a little gossipy. 

You’d discover later, in fact, that he hired her entirely because he knew if he said something, she would pick up on it and it would help him control rumors and such. Clever. 

For the moment though, he took you to a large conference room with huge windows. 

“I’m sorry for the weird “hello” back there, I wanted Shirley to think I was embarrassed to display affection to you in front of her. Usually, I do not mind at all. So doing it would make her think that-”

“I’m someone special to you.” 

“Exactly !” 

He smiles widely as you understood his plan (not sure how you felt about it, then again, that’s why you were here for, making sure you knew where both of you stood in all this), and then tells you he’ll be back in a few minutes. 

You have time to feel anxious and stressed before he finally comes back. 

“Sorry for the wait.” 

“Oh no, I bet you’re a busy man.” 

“Yes well. Anyway. Let’s get to it shall we ?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ok. So. I thought we’d settle sort of a little contract, so neither of us ever feel uncomfortable ?” 

“Sounds good, mister Wayne.” 

“Yes well first, please call me Bruce.” 

“Only if you call me (Y/N).” 

Oh and you two were still on the path of “romcom cliches”, with this conversation. He smiles, nods, and continues : 

“Ok, then I thought we could-” 

And so your fake relationship started, with some little ground rules. Like he could only kiss you after you gave him permission, if you ever felt overwhelmed everything would be called off, etc etc. 

Most rules were in your favor, to be honest. And WOW the paycheck he was going to give you for this little farce...Hey, maybe this gap year was finally gonna get interesting ?

Meeting the Little Buddy. 

It was sort of necessary. By then, Dick had been his son, officially, for a few months. He wasn’t calling him “dad” yet (and Bruce didn’t particularly want him to, at the time...ah but everything change one day, right ?), but they were already family. 

And it was a needed step. 

It wasn’t in the little “contract” you made, and honestly you could’ve refused to meet him but...Well, you liked kids. In another life, it felt like you could’ve been a teacher (A/N : AH, like in this story ;) : “Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” ). 

And you’d feel awkward, to fake a relationship and not ever meet his boy. 

The first time he saw you, it was at the Wayne Tower, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed : 

“Wow you’re so pretty ! Are you Bruce’s girlfriend ? You’re too good for him, you know.” 

You could feel your heart melt, how adorable this little guy was, right ? You chuckled, and almost full on laughed as you saw how vexed Bruce was by the comment. 

Not that he thought he was too good for you, no, he was just a little unhappy his son was stealing the show, and thought he couldn’t land someone like you...Oh but that, you couldn’t guess at the time, of course. 

“Nice to meet you, Dick. I’m (Y/N). And...I’m not really his girlfriend.” 

“Can you be mine then ?” 

You laugh again. You and Bruce had decided to tell him the truth, Bruce assuring you that kid was good at pretending too. You answer : 

“No, I’m saving him from marriage proposal.” 

“Oooooh !” 

Good at pretending. Dick had no idea what you were on about, but he was very good at acting as if he knew. 

It’s only way later, that he finally got it. By then, he already accepted you as : “his dad’s girlfriend”, and even knowing the truth, there was no way to change his mind. And to be honest, out of everyone, little Dick Grayson was probably the most aware of what the situation truly was. 

He had a knack, to notice how people felt. 

A “family” outing.

Two months in, and it was going GREAT. Faking a relationship was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was hanging out with him (and he was very nice to hang out with), and when a paparazzi was around, quickly kiss his cheek, or hold his hand, or let him put his hand in your hair...All those cute things new couples do. 

Today was one such small date. 

You could see Bruce was nervous, though.

After hanging around with him that many times, you started to know him a little better. Started to know he wasn’t really that persona he portrayed publicly.

He was actually quite a dork. What a pity, nobody else would ever know his real self...Yet, it made you happy you were one of the few in on the secret.

“Ok, out with it mister, what’s up ?”

He looks at you with such surprise in his eyes, as if it was the first time someone guessed what he was feeling...and, well, yes. It was. It was the first time someone who wasn’t Alfred got it. Someone realized something was on his mind. And asked him about it, didn't just ignore and move on. Actually cared to know. 

“I-Um...”

“Well ? Come on, I think literally nothing can surprise me by now, given you know, I’m faking a relationship with a billionaire, and it’s like, my job now.”

He smiles, and he couldn't possibly know how soft his look was, as he gazed at you.

“I...well, people don’t quite believe in us because-”

“WHAT ?! With all the “dates” and kisses and lovey dovey shit we did ?!”

He chuckles at your reaction, loving how honest you always were, and adds :

“The problem apparently is that you weren’t seen with my son yet, so many don’t believe we’re serious.”

“Oh...”

You met Dick. Because it felt like a necessary step to yours and Bruce’s scheme. And you knew he knew this was all fake...But neither of you wanted to confuse the boy in any way so he was kept mostly out of the plan.

“I talked to him, and it’s actually really up to wether you’re comfortable with it or not. I know he wasn’t part of our contract, and I should’ve probably thought about it, I’m sorry. But um...If you’re ok with it, we could..Do things with him, too ?”

Bruce is really nervous; And you’re pretty sure no one but you (and maybe Alfred) ever saw him like that. It’s kind of...sweet. But you let the silence linger for too long and he hurries to say :

“You really don’t have to ! It’s ok if they don’t think we’re that serious and I get some proposals. I can manage ! You’re still a great help right now. It was just an idea. Dick is a very social kid, he would go along with anything and loves to do activities outside. He would be fine. But if you’re not then we can-”

“No. No no it’s...It’s ok Bruce. The few time I saw him, Dick did seem absolutely a peach to be around. And I always have fun with you, so sure, let’s organize a little something and show those bastards we’re totally real.”

You chuckle a little, your smile and carefree face making his heart skip a beat, for some reasons...Bruce also decided to ignore how happy it made him, to know you were always glad to be with him, and instead, he smiled and settled a date.

************

And here you were. In one of Gotham’s biggest park, opening a basket full of delicious sandwiches made by the one and only Alfred. Pretending to have a great family outing.

“Hey, hey look !”

Dick was absolutely amazing, at acting as if you were really a thing. As if you were really a “family”. Right now, he was doing flips and cartwheels, demanding your attention with avidity.

Bruce made sure to always hide his face from pictures (he was GREAT at noticing where paparazzis were hiding, a life of practice, you assumed), as he wanted to keep as much as he could his son’s privacy (especially after he made all the headlines when he lost his parents).

It was quite adorable. And...You were really having fun.

Dick was such a lively kid, and he was full of talents. The food was good, and it was so comfortable around Bruce. It felt so natural.

This wasn't all that bad. To fake being a family. A good use of your gap year, really. 

You purposefully decided to ignore the glint in the boy’s eyes. The way you sort of suspected for him, this was getting real, and not only pretend.

You and Bruce purposefully ignored it, actually. And you both felt shitty for it. Because not only were you risking to break that little boy’s heart when it was all over but...It was too hard to accept that maybe, maybe he was right.

And that all of this ? Might’ve not been as fake as you’d love to repeat yourself.

First Official outing. 

First gala. You were terrified. So far all you had to do was hang out with Bruce in the afternoon, there and there. It mainly consisted in him buying you coffee, and keeping the addiction to caffeine real, while talking about anything that would come to your mind. The conversations between you two was always fluid and pleasant. 

Or you’d go out with him and Dick, to do some fun things like mini-golf or catching a movie. Nothing too big and scary. It was mainly just you guys, no one else. 

It seemed like he knew where the paparazzis would be (most likely because he was “anonymously” tipping them off himself), and he’d take you on random short dates when he had time in between his work, slowly fueling the rumors Bruce was not a heart to steal anymore. 

And that he was dating a “commoner” ! (He hated this name for you, while you really didn’t mind that much). 

And this gala, was what made it completely official. Finally. It was your idea, to take things “slow”, and hang out with him and his son BEFORE hanging out in public areas like this. 

It was clever, really. To make it seems like you were trying to “hide” your relationship by being low-key, to then finally announce everything in public like that, at such an event. 

Bruce went to get a drink for the both of you, and you were looking around you, horrified at the mere idea that someone would come talk to you. 

But for some reasons, nobody seemed to dare. Maybe Bruce made sure that people would leave you alone ? Even as if you were clearly the talk of the evening, all eyes on you, and not even trying to be subtle ? 

You knew he did the same with little Dickie. That he made sure he was safe from the paparazzi and that no unsolicited journalist would come around him.

Thinking of it, where was the little one ? Usually, according to Bruce, whenever there was a gala he would spend his entire time near the food table, eating as much as he could, and he would come home feeling nauseous because of it...Haha sounded like Dick alright. That kid was so-

Oh oh.

Who was that sleazy looking gal talking to him ? He seemed so uncomfortable, yet too polite to brush her off...Oh no, she wasn’t one of them, was she ?

Without thinking twice about it, wether it was your place to do what you were about to do or not, you resolutely walked towards them.

“-Think it’s because he relates to you ? As both of you lost your parents in horrific situations, you know ?”

“I-I don’t know m’am.”

When you saw Dick’s distressed face, and his eyes slowly filling with tears, there was no doubt in your mind.

This woman was not supposed to be there, and was definitely not supposed to talk to that child...

This woman was a - shiver of disgust- tabloid journalist.

Your blood boiled as you saw her take a picture of the teary eyed Dickie, and you were standing protectively in front of him before you could even think about it. When you felt the boy clutch to your sleeve, hiding behind you and holding on for dear life, you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

“Can I ask you why you’re talking to that boy, please ?”

“What, it’s illegal to talk to fellow guests now ?”

“Lady, you’re well in your thirties. He’s eight. You have no right talking to him. Not only is it weird, but I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, and pray tell, what am I doing, lovey ?” 

“You’re trying to get a story out of him. And you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s eight ! And from what I heard, you were asking some very disgusting things back there !” 

“I-”

“Shut up.”

Your words came out harsh and determined, and the woman was so shocked she stayed silent for a while. You crouch down to Dick’s level, and ask : 

“Are you ok, my little buddy ?” 

He nods weakly, and then burst into tears as he launches himself in your arms, clinging to you tightly. You turn your head towards the woman, glaring at her so fiercely she doesn’t dare to take a picture of the scene, even as she knows she could sell them for a golden price. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s just a child !” 

The woman was about to say something else, something you knew would fuel your anger further, when Bruce arrived, and it was clear from his face that he was not happy. 

A quick look to you holding his crying son in your arms, and to the lady with the camera in her hands, and he understand what happened. With a cold voice you never heard him use before, he says : 

“I suggest you leave the area now, before I force you to.” 

There was something almost scary, in his demeanor. Almost like...No. Impossible. In any case, you didn’t worry about it much, drawing soothing circles with your hand on Dick’s back, trying to calm him. 

People around quickly stopped staring as they met Bruce’s assassin glare. It was not secret, that he was very protective of his son. And of his new girlfriend, apparently. 

You picked the little boy in your arms (Dick, at the time, was still so tiny), and Bruce comes closer, trying to soothe him too. And it really looked like all this was real...

Dick fell asleep in Bruce’s arms shortly after that, and was still there when it was time for the gala official pictures. Not wanting to wake him up, for once, Bruce allowed people to photograph the boy, as long as they did not frame his face. 

He laid his free hand on the small of your back, and just like you got used to those past months, you pretend to be head over heels for him and have one of your own arm around his waist.  

“Would you please allow me to kiss you on the cheek, for the cameras ?”

His question is so sweet, softly whispered in your ears. And you felt like a tease tonight, and maybe a little tipsy too. You tell him : 

“On the cheek only ? Let’s give them a show no ? Let them forget about what happened with Dick.”

Of course, you’re only joking, but there’s a light in Bruce’s eyes you haven’t seen before and...It disappears quickly. He chuckles, of that low chuckles that would charm anyone in the world, and says :

“I don’t want to force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to. Actually kissing me, I realize, might be too much.”

You know he caught on your joke, but you can’t brush off that light in his eyes that ignited when you suggested to kiss him...You don’t know why, and it feels you’re not controlling your own words, as you hear yourself say :

“Oh because kissing you would be such a horrible thing wouldn’t it ? Oh my, you’re only one of the handsomest man in Gotham, a rather attractive fella, how could I handle kissing you ? So disgusting !”

Your tone is teasing, and a little bit challenging. He catches on that, too. He answers : 

“But I am merely here to serve. I will do as you wish. You only have to say the words.” 

His smile fills your vision. His face. And the way he softly holds your waist, even as his other arms is carrying his son (the man was BUILT). And you think...Well, fuck it ! It was time for the first (fake) kiss, right ? 

Right here, in front of the cameras, where everyone was seeing you. Making it go full circle. Making it “official”. 

“Kiss me then, if you dare.” 

You simply say. Releasing a breath you were unaware you were keeping in. And he feels his heart squeeze, and as if he’s sweating a bit. When was the last time he was nervous about kissing a woman ? 

He couldn’t remember. 

And then he kisses you, the flashes of cameras slowly fading away as his lips melt onto yours. 

Wow. What a perfect, and nice, first kiss. 

As fake as it might be.

Your room. 

Your room at Wayne Manor was bigger than your entire apartment. 

You and Bruce decided that sometimes, so you wouldn’t raise any suspicion, you’d sleep at the Manor. Paparazzi were so on top of everything, it would seem weird if he was in a “committed relationship” and you never slept at his place. 

So Alfred settled a room for you. 

Oh. Alfred ! You met him not long ago, and he was the best ! 

It felt like he could magically guess what you wanted when you wanted it, and magically appeared with that warm cup of tea you craved, or that meal you’ve been thinking about all day. 

But beyond that, he was genuinely nice and made sure to make you as comfortable as possible. He showed you around, and his conversation was so pleasant ! 

You could actually see a lot of Bruce in him. Or, rather, it was evident that Alfred had raised Bruce most of his life, because they had a lot of similar mannerism, and were both kind and caring (Ah, imagine if Superman knew what you thought of Bruce, how crazy it’d sound to him eh ? But of course, that you’d discover way WAY later). 

You never went to explore much when it was time to go to bed, too afraid to get lost. This place was huge, and you never quite had a good sense of orientation. 

One could only wonder, what would you have discovered if you ever dared to wake up during the night, and explore his home ?

Build a Bear. 

Sometimes, Bruce really had to wrack his brain for original date ideas. Ever since he came back to Gotham, his dating days consist of pretending to sleep with every model in the World. 

He’d take them to fashion shows, to galas, to charity events...All very public places, unsuitable for a “serious” relationship like he was hoping to make yours and his pass for. 

Enter : Clever little Dickiebird, who always had an idea (and who might’ve been the best wingman someone like the Batman needed...that, of course, he’d discover it way, WAY later) :

“You can take her to a build a bear !” 

“Build...a bear ?” 

“Yeah, you know. You go and you make your own teddy bear !” 

“I do know, I took you to get Chester - the name of Dick’s favorite plushie toy now, and maybe with which he slept-. But...For a date ?” 

“What ? It’s cute and intimate !” 

“Huh ?” 

It has been a long time, since Alfred Pennyworth had to hold his laughter in that hard, and try to stay impeccably neutral. And there, faced with his master Bruce, who was known as the “ultimate womanizer”, the “perfect playboy”, and who was currently taking advice from his eight years old son...It was really hard to keep a straight face. 

It was also incredibly adorable. Especially how Bruce seemed to genuinely listen to the little one, unaware that he seemed actually way too interested for things just to be for his “fake relationship” to be more convincing. 

Not that Alfred was going to tell Bruce anything. 

“Dick, you know (Y/N) isn’t really my girlfriend, right ?” 

The way the boy talked about taking you to a date, felt to Bruce like he was forgetting this was all fake. And it was important to remind him.

But Dick had to invoke all the efforts in the world to not roll his eyes as to say : “sure she isn’t”, by now, it was oh so obvious to everyone but you and Bruce that there was a very real thing forming between you two. 

Instead, he said : 

“But you’re suppose to make the public really believe it right ? If you take her to build a bear, I can assure you they will think you guys are the real deal.” 

Bruce pondered this for a little bit, and realized that his son was right. It did seem like a cute and intimate date to bring your girl to, even if she was your fake girl...

Ah. Bruce forgot his own words. “Dick is great at pretending.” He is. He really is. Just like right now, he was pretending his idea was completely innocent, while he knew it would bring you two ever so closer. 

That whenever you’d see those bears you were going to build in your home, you’d think of one another. And remember fondly of the memory. 

And oh. Oh that boy was right. 

Your bear was sitting proudly on your couch, and every time you saw it, you remembered how clumsy Bruce had been, filling his own bear up. And how cute he was, carefully thinking of his options. 

And every time Bruce saw his own bear, that Alfred, for some reason, settled in the Batcave on the “trophy shelves” (and for some reason Bruce didn’t take it off of it...), he couldn’t help but think how he had genuine fun that day. 

Genuine fun, for the first time in what felt like ages. And how your smiling and giggling face didn’t seem to leave his mind, whenever he saw that bear...

Conniving traitors. 

“We both agree, he’s in love with her right ? He’s just too dense to realize it.” 

“Oh yes, young Master Richard, he definitely is. And he is dense, at times.” 

“Should we do anything ?”

“No more than what you’re already doing.” 

“Which is ?” 

“Which is continuing to push them in the...Right direction.”

“Oh ! I get it ! I’ll keep going Al’!” 

“And I’m sure you’ll make miracles, young master.” 

Dick’s smile to the old butler was so pure and happy, that Alfred had a hard time keeping his composure once again. 

And oh. Oh how he wish they were right, and that his Master Bruce would FINALLY allow himself to be happy... 

Rumors and Truth 

Bruce was just a tiny bit older than you. 24, according to his wikipedia page. 

And you couldn't help but be a little jealous, as you were looking at the page to re-enroll yourself in Gotham’s university, knowing he was done with college.

Then again, he was obviously a genius and would’ve been done faster than you anyway, even if you were the same age, since he finished his PhD just the year before, while most people don't even START their doctorate until they're around 23/24. 

Mmmm. Made you think. Was this just yet another rumors about the man ? 

Maybe not, after all it was proven he started college at age 14, and in Ivy Leagues ones, all across the world. 

From Cambridge, to Oxford, without forgetting La Sorbonne (A/N : by the way, this is canon haha, Bruce really did start college that early and went to many different places, and honestly, is anyone surprised ?). 

This wasn't really something you absolutely couldn't believe, compared to other crazy rumors about him. And you knew he WAS smart. 

By then, you couldn't count how many things were circulating about him, and how hard it was to know the truth from just plain old rumors. 

He had over a thousand lovers, he had MORE than one PhD (impossible, right ?), he had died once but survived somehow, he was part of a cult, he often lost his status as a billionaire because he gave so much money to charities and such, but his companies meddled in so many areas that his bank account was always filled more and more…

Honestly that last part didn't really surprise you. You saw him gave his money away to things he cared about (like education and medical care) without a second thoughts, so the fact he constantly oscillated between "billionaire" and "multi-millionaire" didn't really surprise you, not when you knew him like you did now. 

You totally trusted the rumors that said that by now, he gave away more than he currently owned. It sounded like him alright…But how to know the truth from the downright crazy ? Did he really have a PhD or was this just an addition to how special and different Bruce Wayne was in Gotham ? What kind of PhD did he have anyway ? 1000 lovers, really ?!

So many questions. And not a lot of answers. Even if you grew closer (as friends, of course), Bruce was still somewhat of a mystery to you. 

He never really tried to dismiss rumors, even the bad ones (unless they touched his son). Which made you wonder if they were true or not. And you really, really, for some reasons, wanted to know more about him...

“Is something the matter ?” 

He asks. Oh goddamn you, day dreaming on one of your regular “coffee date”. 

You shake your head, sipping on your drink and say : 

“Was just thinking about...Tabloids.” 

“Ah.” 

He frowns. For understandable reasons.

“I was just thinking about wether some rumors were true or not.” 

“What do you think is not true ?” 

“I don’t really know, and you never really say a rumor is false so it’s hard to know.” 

“Do you want to know anything in particular ?” 

Bruce knows it’s dangerous, to let you enter his private life like that. There’s a reason, after all, why he never dismisses any rumors. 

It helped build his fake persona, and take away any suspicions that he might be the infamous Batman. 

But he felt weak, around you. As if he just wanted to please you, no matter what. Sometimes, he felt dangerously close to just tell you : “ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth”, even if it meant revealing his night activities...

Crazy, right ? 

He knew it was. And that he shouldn’t let it happen. Yet here he was, asking if you wanted to know something. Craving your attention. It felt so unlike him. But...You seemed to unlock a certain part of him. 

The one that didn’t die with his parents, and remained hidden. The one that was the old little Bruce, full of hope, honesty and happiness. Full of wish for the future...Even if he knew there was none. 

“How was college, for you ?” 

You hear yourself asking, really wondering if it was true he was 14 when he started, and if it was...How different you guys were, right ? You were 21 right now, and taking a gap year after two years of college...When he was your age, he had already finished a master (or even maybe two). 

"My college years were actually pretty boring, and unlike some rumors say, weren't particularly wild. I was really young."

"Ah, I heard the rumors."

"Those are true, I'm afraid haha."

"Afraid ? You're a genius !"

Which is why you found, more and more, his "himbo" persona to be odd. WHat was Bruce Wayne trying to hide ? Mmm…

Bruce recognized that look in your eyes. The look of someone who was onto something, and it was too frightening to let it happen. So he said :

"Yes well, I feel I missed a lot, during those years. Which is why I make it up now hahaha !"

His boisterous laughter seemed genuine, and totally fooled you. You couldn't always be on top of everything eh ? And this, did answer your question about his himbo persona…Oh, Bruce was good.

And he knew it. He trained for years, to make sure nobody would ever even suspect him to be Batman.

But he had to be careful with you. He knew it. It was obvious. You weren't that easy to fool…

The Day Batman saved you. 

The fact he had to be careful with you was confirmed not long after. When, as Batman, he came to your rescue.

He should’ve known, that even with a voice changer, and a mask covering most his face, plus a demeanor that was completely different from his usual one, you’d still get suspicious...He should’ve known because he, by then, knew you quite well. 

But, what ? Was he suppose to just let you get mugged ? 

He couldn’t. 

Even if in the grand scheme of things, it would’ve been better, and he would definitely intervene if it got too rough...He couldn’t. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or feeling distressed.

He knew this was stupid. That he shouldn’t get so attached. That muggings weren’t really his area of expertise, that to stop them, he had to hit the big bosses. He knew. Small thugs weren’t his target. He had a much bigger vision. And rationally, he should be somewhere else right now. 

Yet he couldn’t resolve himself to. Because, and that was a dangerous thought and feeling, he was in l- 

“Why are we spying on your girlfriend ?” 

Dick’s voice takes him out of his reveries, good. It WAS getting dangerous. Still keeping you in his field of vision (you were slowly going back to your apartment, a few minutes still, and he could leave to do other things knowing you were safe and sound in your home), he answered :  

“We’re not spying on her, we’re making sure she’s safe. And she’s not my girlfriend, you know that.” 

“Oh yeah ? We’ve been following your “totally not girlfriend” since the night started, awfully looks to me like we’re um, you know, stalking her.”

“We’re not.” 

“Suuuuuuuuuure.” 

Bruce gives an annoyed look to his son, who had way too big a smug face right now, and says : 

“The night is calm, if something comes up we’ll go. But right now, it’s alright. And it has been made official, that she and I are a couple.” 

“Fake couple.” 

“Fake one to us, not to the public eye.” 

“Ooooooh !” 

Connections were quickly made in the boy’s head, and he understood why they were following her. After all, this was Gotham. And if THE Bruce Wayne had ONE known lover...Well, it was easy to know it’d attract some nasty business. 

Dick was about to make a smug remark of which he had a talent for, when it happened. He pointed at you, fear in his eyes, and Bruce focused your way again. 

“Stay here.” 

“What why ?! I wanna help her too !” 

“Because she’s too smart not to put two and two if she sees you with me. She knows us in our day lives. She’ll recognize us for sure, if we’re together.”

“Oh...”

“Just stay still, ok ?” 

“Ok.” 

Without a second thought, Bruce jumped down in the street down below, under Dick’s worried eyes. If anything happened to you, he knew his dad would never be the same again. 

And he knew he couldn’t bear to lose yet another person he cared about. Even loved. Yes. Yes Dick loved you, as if you really were part of his family...

The months of “faking” family outings made it so. Your worst fear happened. Dick was getting attached, hardcore. And he really hoped you and Bruce would figure out you were actually in love with each others before the end of your “contract”, and before his sometimes very dense dad would decide to let you go...

For now though, he was anxiously looking at Bruce making his way to you, after he spotted a suspicious group of men genuinely stalking you. 

************

“Hey pretty girl, can we talk ?” 

You stop in your track, turning around, cursing yourself for not having the instinct to just take off running. Oh. But you can see at least one of them has a gun. You can’t run faster than a bullet... 

“Ah it is you, isn’t it ?” 

You don’t answer, knowing what they mean. Bruce sort of warned you against this. But you didn't take his warnings seriously, and here you were, going home at night, something he definitely told you not to do. 

You just couldn’t sleep that night, and needed a walk...And here you were. 

“You’re gonna come nicely with us, right ?” 

“I dont’ think so.” 

Uh ? You’re pretty sure that weird robotic voice wasn’t yours. Even if that’s exactly what you wanted to say. And that’s...oh wow. 

That’s when you see him. Batman. 

Immediately, the atmosphere grow even tenser. And you can see the thugs who wanted to take you with them fearfully looking at him. 

“This has nothing to do with you Batman, leave us alone, we didn’t do anything wrong !” 

“It has everything to do with me. Leave.” 

“We have to-You don’t understand. We have to take her to-” 

“Nowhere. Leave.” 

Even if he was protecting you, you had to admit that, that dude was frightening. He had his back to you, and even then, he looked so intimidating and tall and broad...

Bruce was tall and broad too. But he was soft and sweet, not scary at all.

“OH MY GOD LOOK OUT !!” 

One of the thug had a gun pointed at Batman. Right at his head. He didn’t have the time to enforce his helmet yet, and if he shot around his mouth, he was done for...

A rock coming out of nowhere hit the thug right in the face. 

Coming out of nowhere ? To you, maybe. But Bruce knew that this was little Dickie’s doing. “Robin always has Batman’s back”, he said often...

For the time being, the one taking his gun out being knocked out triggered a “fight or flight” reaction in the others, and as two took off running (and were mysteriously hit by rocks too, knocking them out), three decided to attack Batman. 

Bad move. 

Very bad move. 

In a matter of second, it was over. 

He turns to you, and it’s hard to discern any emotions with his lighted eyes and mask. He asks : 

“Are you alright, (Y/N) ?” 

“How-How do you know my name ?”

“Well, you’re Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, right ?” 

There was no hesitation in Bruce’s voice as, as soon as he pronounced your name, he knew he messed up...but he trained himself to think quickly. And this “fake” relationship was a perfect excuse, of course. Everyone in Gotham knew about you two, by now. 

“Oh, right, ok.” 

You seemed a bit disappointed, and Bruce couldn’t quite understand why...

It only hits him later, as he was going to bed, why you looked like that. And it made hi heart beat widely. Because he was pretty sure that it was because you sort of hoped Bruce talked to “Batman about you...Oh...Oh this was getting dangerous. 

But of course, Bruce had a reputation to be the one funding Batman’s gadget (a really good cover for the fact he was actually Batman). So they’d know each others...

But right there and then, as he just saved you, you felt so stupid, hoping that Bruce would’ve talked to you to Batman. Why would he ? How the hell would your name even show up in a conversation between Bruce Wayne and Batman (but oh, if you knew you occupied his thoughts many times, and who he really was, maybe you’d feel less bad ? It was, in a way, Bruce talking about you to Batman, right ?). 

You smiled weakly and shyly at this impressive being in front of you, and thanked him one more time. He nods, smiling too (oh ?), and bid you farewell. 

Ah. But Bruce didn’t notice your eyes go wide, as he took off with his grappling hook, and you caught the side of his face in a certain light...

Fake ?

"You know, he smiles more when you’re around.” 

Dick tells you once, you look at him curiously, as he continues : 

“And before you say it’s “all pretend”, let me tell you there’s a difference between this smile and the fake one. Look, that’s how he pretend.” 

On that note, he looked at you and smiled widely, exaggeratedly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. And it was so like how Bruce portrayed himself in public, that it made you chuckle. 

It also scared you a little. 

Not because there was a possibility Bruce did smile more around you, but because as that little boy was being silly, and now imitating his adopted father further and oh so perfectly...You felt a surge of love for him. 

And that wasn’t good. 

Because the day, which was coming soon now, you’d have to “dump” Bruce Wayne, you wouldn’t be able to see that little one again...why would you ? 

It’d be too weird, right ? Someone like you, once “broken up”, would have no reasons or ways to ever interact with billionaire Bruce Wayne or his son ever again. 

That little boy was the sweetest child you ever met. He suffered a great loss so early in his life, and there he was, making you laugh and being nice by saying you made his dad genuinely smile. 

It hurt, to know that one day, you wouldn’t see him again. That he’d grow up, and you wouldn’t know what he became. 

You were sure he was destined to become a great man, and you wished you could see it...No. No this was bad. This was so bad. 

“I mean it you know.” 

His little voice brings your attention back to him. 

“I think you make him happy. With you, it feels he can be himself. He laughs more, really laughs. And it’s often that he tells me “oh this makes me think of (Y/N)” and calls you. He doesn’t need to call you for the fake relationship thing, right ? Yet he does. That means something. I think he likes you.” 

You shake your head, smiling at this little boy’s wild imagination. No way. No way was THE Bruce Wayne falling for you in any way. Were you guys becoming real friends ? Sure. But it definitely stopped there. Right ?

Oh but if only you knew Dick had a knack to see this kind of things, and to guess people’s real feelings. If only you knew, that yes, Bruce was starting to fall for you...It would make the next episode way less painful for you. 

“Catch me dead before you catch me catching feelings” - You to yourself, a few days before starting a fake relationship with THE Bruce Wayne. 

“Fuck you” - You to yourself, almost six months in faking a relationship with Bruce Wayne. 

This was...bad. 

Soon enough, you and Bruce will break this entire deal off, you will “dump” him, and you’d go on your separate ways. And...

This was bad. 

Why ? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST HANG OUT WITH THIS AMAZING CHARMING MAN AND THAT’S IT ? Why ? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND CATCH....

Catch...

Catch those body shivering “feelings”. 

Not just for Bruce though. But for the little buddy too. 

You felt yourself fall for Bruce slowly, and as if it was completely out of your control. But you also felt like if Dick wasn't in your life anymore...You wouldn’t feel whole again. Like he was sort of your son, too, by then. 

This was so bad. How did you get yourself in this mess ? What was that FIRST rule you gave yourself when all this started ? 

Right, “Catch me dead before I catch feelings”. Damn it. 

Thanks GOD the “marrying season” was finally coming to an end. Both you and Bruce settled you’d wait a few weeks after it to make your break-up official, so nobody would be tempted to cancel any wedding plans to try and force their daughter onto him.  

And it couldn’t happen soon enough. 

Being around him now, faking being in love, was torture to you. 

Kissing him knowing he felt nothing. Holding his hand in public while you knew in your heart he was just putting a show still. And hanging out with him feeling that you had absolutely no chance of this ever evolving...

It hurt.

It hurt so bad. 

And you were slowly hoping you never agreed to being his fake girlfriend. Being a living cliche, the money and the fame were REALLY not worth the heartache. 

So not worth it...

The end...?

"Well mister Wayne, it has truly been a pleasure to be your "girlfriend" haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun, and a little revenge on life. You know, I saw Eric and Monica not long ago. They tried to become my friends again, knowing I was with you. It was great, to ignore them like they ignored them. You’re right, they’re really not worth it. And honestly I still don’t think we’re even after they hurt me like they did but...In the end, they looked so outraged. Win-win, really. Thank you very much."

"Thank YOU, for playing along and doing more than you bargained for. You really saved me a lot of hassle and…I had fun, too."

Your taxi was pulling in front of the Manor, and honked as he parked. Clearly, not a very patient driver.

"Well, see you around, Bruce ! If you're not too busy, you know…I kinda consider you a friend by now ?"

"Me, too."

Bruce lied. A "friend" ? No, it couldn't cover and explain all his feelings for you. A "friend". How ridiculous.

As you walked away, giving him a last smile, Bruce felt a pang in his chest.

A painful and yet happy one. A longing one. One that told him that "friend" wasn't what he wanted to be…Not anymore…

But was there really a future for you and him ? Probably not. His nightly activities would get in the way. You deserve more than the life he could give you. Being his "fake" girlfriend, you only took part in his public matters. Part in a fake world full of nice things, that was far from his actual life.

"Friend", he wished he could be more to you than this.

But he knew.

He knew that for your own good, he had to stay away. And oh, oh how he wished he could be more than just your "friend" or "fake" boyfriend. 

Yet he watched as you walked away. Without doing anything. 

He watched you leave, and felt the hole in his heart expand a little more. But didn’t try to catch you, or stop you from leaving. 

And your taxi was already far, now. On its way to Gotham. 

"So you gonna run after her oooor…??"

Dick's little voice takes him out of his reveries.

“Mmm ?” 

“(Y/N). Are you gonna run after her, or stand there looking like a sad puppy for the rest of your life ?” 

“I do not look like a sad puppy.” 

“Yes you do, and you know it. Come on dad, why are you doing this ?” 

This was the first time Dick called him dad. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce. It meant...It meant something was definitely happening. He felt it in his heart. Something that was dangerous. Oh so dangerous. 

Hope. Like the “old Bruce” had. Hope. Full of it. Before his parents were murdered in front of him, for no reasons. Meaningless. 

Hope. 

To have a family again. Ah. But...Being with you was impossible. And Dick would be enough. He would. He was already enough... 

“How long are ya gonna torture yourself exactly ?” 

That boy was too smart for his own good. Bruce said : 

“I’m not. I just...I can’t be with her.” 

“I cAn’T bE wITh hEr !! ...Why ?!” 

“You saw what happened, when it was made official we were together. She almost died.” 

“And you saved her. Your point being ?” 

“Dick...”

“Don’t -he takes a mock Bruce voice- “Dick” me mister ! You’re afraid to be happy, and I won’t have it. You gave me another chance to have a family. A dad. And I’m not about to let my dad punish himself for feeling good. You told me yourself my parents would like for me to be happy. Well yours would too, you big idiot ! So now, you listen to me.” 

Dick, meaning business, jumps on the stairs’ bannister to sort of be on eye level with Bruce, and says, pointing his finger at him : 

“You take one of those fancy useless sport car, and you run after her. Capish ?” 

There’s a moment of silence. During which Bruce is unsure of what to do. And then...Then he smiles at his son. 

His son. 

“Capish”, he simply says, and he rushes towards the garage’s entrance, under Dick’s happy look. 

Success. 

Bruce’s car was leaving the estate, when Alfred joined Dick at the front door. 

“You did it, Master Richard.” 

“I hope I did !” 

“Oh you did. You did. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son...”

Dick turned to Alfred, who couldn’t keep a straight face this time. Small tears gathered in the old man’s eyes, and sweet little Dick did not hesitate one second before jumping into his arms and giving him one of his famous “Grayson special” hug. 

It’s real. 

Back to square one. 

You. A bad day. Looking like a mess (this time not because of the rain, but because you cried a lot). Your gap year almost over and still not knowing who you were. With no coffee, but at least, you had a tub of ice cream. 

You already missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. 

You couldn’t believe those six months of “faking” would end up meaning so much to you, and feel so devastating as they ended. 

You wish you had never met Bruce. And that you’d been ridiculed by Eric and Monica, that your life would still be pathetic...Pathetic maybe, but at least, your heart wasn’t completely shattered. 

You don’t hear the hurried knocks on your door, at first. Entranced by your own sadness. It’s only when they become loud and insistant you react. 

You really hope it’s not a journalist. They sort of tried to talk to you so many times, since you “dumped” Bruce...You knew he made sure that they’d stay away, but some were particularly persistent. 

Including that awful woman from the charity, who was asking Dick those horrible questions. “Vicky Vale”, was her name, apparently. What a witch. 

Clearly, the knocking wasn’t gonna go away, so you stood up, settled your tub of ice cream on your coffee table, and went to the door, ready to fight if need be. 

But there was no need for fights. 

At least, not in the literal sense of the term. 

“Bruce ?” 

He seems out of breath. Incredible, given how in shape he was. He doesn’t really leave you any time to say anything else, as he blurts out :

“I was wrong.”

He blurts out out of nowhere, and you’re even more confused. Before you could ask what was all this about, he adds : 

“I was wrong. When I said you were the right person because you were “normal”. You’re everything, BUT “just a regular person”. You’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met. You decided to help a total stranger just because. I know I helped you before, but it doesn’t compare to what you did for me. Especially on a matter that seems so silly to me now. You put yourself in a very awkward position for someone you didn’t even know. In front of the public, for a guy like me. You knew I was a “playboy”, and that I could very well use you. Yet you still put up with it. You accepted my son, even as you didn’t have to. Even as, just like me, you are so young. You were nice to Dick, even if all you needed to do was pretend. You’re...You’re...You’re just something else entirely. It feels like you know me, the real me. Like you can read my very soul. Like you’re the only one for me. I’ve known for a long time. I ignored it because I was afraid of what that meant but...but a certain little one made me realize this was time. It’s time to move on. It’s time to allow myself to be happy. And so, here I am.”

Was this...it ? The point of your gap year ? To discover that finding yourself...Meant finding your soulmate ? 

It sounded silly. While at the same time, not. Because you felt it. You felt it deep within you. From the moment Bruce handed you that twenty dollars bill, fate was in motion. 

You meeting Eric and Monica wasn’t bad luck. It was the opposite. It was the Universe’s push towards your real Destiny. 

Towards Bruce. 

“You’re not saying anything. Is this bad ? Or does it mean I blew your mind away ? I’m clearly hoping for the latter...”

Over the months, you discovered how huge of a dork Bruce Wayne could be. Even as if there was often a darkness right behind his smiles. Deep within his eyes. You discovered he wasn’t always this cocky arrogant man he portrayed himself to be while in public. How he was actually pretty funny and oh so empathetic. How...How so many things, the list seemed endless in your mind. 

And it only added to everything, that he looked so unsure. And so you smile. You just smile at him. And everything you feel is in that smile. 

You don’t even realize you’re holding each others now, and that you’re kissing...

It’s not pretend this time. 

A real first kiss. 

Though maybe all your kisses until now weren’t as fake as you pretended them to be. 

In any case, this, right now, is a real kiss alright. 

A real one. 

Full of all the pent up emotions. Free of all the fear and hurt you both felt as you realized you were in love with the other one, yet you thought things were all “fake”. 

Because it wasn't fake. It wasn’t. 

“I love you.” 

You don’t know who said it first. You, or him. You felt so in sync, that it didn’t matter. What is sure, is that you both said it. Before you closed the door to your apartment, leading him in. 

Before you spend the night in each other’s arms.

Bruce not even thinking about going out as Batman..

For the first time in years, he decided to fully embrace being happy. 

“You always told me my parents would wish for me to be happy, well yours too !” Dick said. And oh, he was so right.

By the way, I’m Batman. Surprise. 

“It’s not like I didn’t know, you know.” 

“Huh ?” 

Oh. Oh the delight to see that surprised expression on Bruce’s face. It was quite a rare one, really. And as he finally gathered the courage to tell you who he really was, risking losing you in the process but wanting to show you his full self...

It was particularly delightful. 

“Busted you on that night you saved me. As if I wasn’t going to recognized that jawline.” 

“Wait, really ? I really thought you bought my lies !” 

“Well now, you know not to underestimate me.” 

“I...Do.”

A natural smile reaches his face, and he approaches you, pulling you to him, and laying a soft kiss on your lips. Feeling fully accepted and loved, like never before. And he could see you-

“Oh NO EWWWWWW !!!” 

You pull away from Bruce’s kiss (noticing his slow grumble, displeased to lose  your warmth), and look at little Dickie (your son too, now !), staring at you two, looking disgusted. 

“Get a ROOOOM !!” 

This makes you laugh. A lot. And oh. Oh how would you ever guess, in that moment, that one day, this “get a room !!” said in such a disgusted tone would be the trademark of your children (SIX OF THEM) whenever they’d see you and Bruce display any sort of affection to one another ? 

You couldn’t guess, of course. But even in that moment, as you softly laughed, in Bruce’s arms, while looking at your son now making exaggerated noises and acting silly, you knew this...

This was what you’ve been looking for during this gap year. 

This was who you were. 

Right there. 

At the heart of a loving family, even if right now, it was just the three of you (four, let’s not forget Alfred !). 

The end. 

_________________________________________________

And here we are. I hope you liked it ? I feel particularly nervous about this one haha. Don’t hesitate to leave a little comment and reblog :),  It’s always greatly appreciated, and encouraging :D. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with a new story ! 

[aizawaslovebot]

NOW PLAYING: the ex factor by iwaizumi hajime

—reader pronouns: he/him

—warnings: curse words ; had to be cut into two parts bec i want it that way ><

—summary: desperate times mean desperate measures, and y/n l/n is definitely the embodiment of desperate. eager to make his ex jealous for reasons undisclosed (read as: he's just petty), he asks his long-time best friend, iwaizumi hajime, to pretend as his boyfriend.

—note: the second part will be out in 3 days! VERY SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG WAIT UHU

TAGLIST: OPEN ; send an ask to be added even if you've already sent an ask back then!! because all that i could recall is @ohmygodronnie2020 and @beyond-the-mxxn

<- the sweetheart playlist | part i | part ii ->

Iwaizumi Hajime should’ve trusted his gut when it went crazy at the sight of you, Y/N L/N, whose eyes held a very mischievous glint that Iwa hated. He also should’ve turned you down immediately the moment you opened your mouth. Iwa definitely should’ve reprimanded you for roping him into this stupid plan.

Sadly, all he’s doing is crying over spilt milk.

He could remember it like it was yesterday. Years of dealing with Shittykawa meant that he knew when bullshit was about to happen. He thought going to California meant finally meeting someone who isn't an idiot on the daily. You were his contradiction. You were his idiot— basically like Shittykawa’s younger, much more mischievous brother.

Honestly, did Iwaizumi only attract idiots?

On the days you aren’t going on and on and on about why the government should be overthrown or why the both of you should buy a frog table for your shared dorm, he found you to be a nice guy. The people Iwa has met always had a hidden layer to them and you were one of them. Shittykawa was one too. Though Iwa wishes he didn’t introduce the both of you to each other— you become an unstoppable ball of everything annoying when you talk to each other.

But I digress. Iwa isn’t here to cry over why he only had chaos for best friends. Iwa is here because you, Y/N L/N, while you happened to be Iwa’s contradiction for all things he considered his norm, had asked him a very big favor.

“No,” Iwaizumi grunts, regretting even entertaining the male’s request. He could see your (h/c) hair bob as you groan out of frustration. Unbeknownst to the male, you were mulling over using what has to be Iwa’s biggest weakness: your very adorable puppy eyes.

“Iwa-chaaaan,” You sniff, putting on doe-eyes for Iwa to see, “I really want to make him jealous.”

Iwa sighs, subtly turning away so he didn’t have to see the tear-stained cheeks and the glossy eyes. The poor male was about to speak, pointing out that you had been influenced by Oikawa with the damn nickname, but he was cut off.

“He hurt me a lot, y’know?” You started to well up, for real this time, “I just wanted revenge…”

Iwa sighs again but he noticeably softens, opening his arms to let you cry while he hugs you. As you wept, you accepted his gesture and immediately let yourself be engulfed in your best friend’s arms. “You’ve yet to tell me why you two broke up, dumbass,” Iwa chided, though it was lighthearted.

“Zumi, is this your backhanded way of saying yes?” You asked, but your voice was muffled by his chest.

Iwa sighs for the nth time that day as he finally resigns to his fate, “Yes.”

That encounter was a week ago. You gave Iwaizumi enough time to prepare and regret his life choices. Honestly, he should’ve predicted that his idiot timed things perfectly so that your stupid plan would take place on the university-wide party the following week. Iwa could proudly say that most of his predictions were accurate and on point. Then again, his predictions were futile anyway— the best example could be his judgement on your then-boyfriend, Akuma Azamuku.

The brunette could clearly remember how he was able to discern more than enough red flags from just meeting the god forsaken guy. It was annoying how blind you could be when you’re heads over heels in love with the wrong people. Were you not really able to see how toxic this… Akuma guy is? Terrible name too, might he add. Iwaizumi would rather you date him than this devil spawn.

But he didn’t move a muscle. Iwaizumi didn’t move a muscle especially after that thought emerged from his head. What in Godzilla’s name was he thinking anyway?

Even if he could celebrate his on-point prediction on how much of an ass the spawn of Satan was, he couldn’t exactly bring himself to mock you with an angry ‘’I told you so!” Not when it meant that your damn ex-boyfriend cheated on you, covering it up by saying that he wasn’t actually gay. Not when it meant that you had been used. Not when it meant that you, his idiot, were hurt. His idiot was hurt.

“You’re being a martyr again, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa tutted through the phone, tactlessly commenting once the brunette finished relaying what was going on.

The male snorted, “What are you on, this time, Shittykawa?”

“Don’t turn this on me, you idiot.”

How the hell was Iwaizumi the idiot? No. He’s lived with idiots his entire life but he wasn’t one. If anything, both of his friends were the idiots. Not him.

“Selflessly complying with dear (N/N)’s outrageous request, regardless of how much it hurts you. Tsk, Iwaizumi Hajime. You’re one big idiot,” Oikawa sighed.

Iwaizumi scoffs at his friend’s claim, “Why the hell will helping him out hurt me? Shittykawa, did you leave your single brain cell in Miyagi?” The brunette growls, annoyed at the way Oikawa avoided giving him the straight answer.

“Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi’s breath hitches as he hears the next words, “you’re in love with (N/N), aren’t you?”

Iwaizumi Hajime was, in fact, an idiot.

He was an idiot for realizing it much later than wanted; for allowing Shittykawa, of all people, to know this one fact before him; and for opening an avenue for bigger wounds because all he wanted was to help his best friend. He probably had to be the biggest idiot among the three— and that’s saying a lot… like more than a lot.

The soon-to-be trainer could hear his pro best friend sigh in response to his stunned silence. Iwa concludes that it was weird to be on the receiving end of a tired sigh but he doesn’t utter a word. Not even after Oikawa begins to speak again. “I can’t even bring myself to tease you tonight… or today… or whatever time it is there, Iwa-chan. What will you do now?”

Iwaizumi wasn’t the type to let himself get involved in petty things like this nor does he let himself go against judgement. That is, if you weren't in the question. The brunette was very sure that you were his contradiction— unknowingly forcing him to go against all the boundaries Iwa had set and done. You, also a trainer in the making, could easily be the death of Iwaizumi Hajime. But if it’s you, then he’d gladly embrace this death.

“I’m going.”

Those two words were a lot harder to say than the tired male liked to admit. So as he ends the dreadful phone call with Oikawa, he secretly hopes that next week will never come.

Even if Iwaizumi tried his hardest to deny, next week actually came. Not that it was a surprise. No one could stop the turning of time, the rotation of the Earth, nor the ticking of the clock. How the hell would he even stop next week from coming? Heck, Iwaizumi couldn’t even stop you from this stupid revenge quest that you had set.

Pretend to be his boyfriend, you said. It would be easy to do anyway, you said. We’ll be in and out in a jiffy, you said.

To hell with all the lies that you had promised. It was beyond Iwaizumi’s skills and strength to pretend to be someone you romantically loved when he actually wanted it to be true. The Aoba Johsai Iwaizumi would’ve dipped; Iwaizumi from last year would’ve never pushed through. But here he is, standing in front of the mirror in your shared dorm, preparing to do what he deemed an impossible feat.

You will always be Iwaizumi Hajime’s contradiction. And at this point, he isn’t sure whether it was a good or a bad thing. All Iwa knows is that this will soon end and like the way next week came, tomorrow will soon be today.

So all Iwaizumi could do is psych himself up to do impossible— the same way he had convinced himself he was an ace in volleyball or the same way he gave himself assurance with his college application— and push through with the plan.

I can do this. I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, former volleyball ace and soon, an athletic trainer. I’ve dealt with Shittykawa all my life. I was able to get into a college in California by myself. This should be easy. I can do this.

“Should I wear this, ‘zumi?” You call out from the bathroom, holding two slightly different tops for Iwa to see. The way the brunette spluttered at the sight of a half-naked you was embarrassing to say the least, but Iwaizumi was thankful that you had been too engrossed to even notice the reddening of his ears. ‘God damn it, Hajime. Half-naked Y/N isn’t new,’ he chastised himself mentally as he coughs. “Use the darker one,” was Iwaizumi’s curt reply.

I can do this.

You should not have lit up at his answer like that. The sight gave Iwaizumi more joy than he liked to admit. Nothing could ever top what you said next though.

I c-can do this...

“Oh! This one matches yours too! We look good together, huh?”

I cannot do this.

“Idiot,” Iwaizumi sighs to mask his flustered state, “just shut up and wear it already.” You only laugh in response, already used to Iwaizumi’s brash way of dealing with things. “Alright, puddin’. Just wait. You can’t rush art,” You reply sarcastically, using the other nickname that Iwa had begun to dread.

Iwa resorts to the comfort of his phone— or rather, he uses the phone to conceal the undying pink on his cheeks so you wouldn’t see. Maybe if he spared a minute before he did so, he would’ve seen that you were equally flustered; seemingly embarrassed to have said what you had in their conversation. But it is what it is, and Iwaizumi has to continue his emotional constipation without ever knowing that had ever happened.

You take Iwa’s hand in yours before you lead Iwa out of your dorm and to wherever the god forsaken party was. “What’s with the skinship?” Iwa asks, though the way he adjusts the grip so it would be comfortable didn’t go unnoticed. Maybe he had started to like the prospect of this whole fake dating fiasco because it let him taste of what could’ve been instead of just wondering how it felt.

“Nothing you’re not used to, puddin’. And uh… uh… this way we could look like an actual couple,” You stammer and avoid eye contact, your hand still in Iwa’s warmth though.

If Iwaizumi hadn’t been too distracted, too haunted by the reminder that this was just pretend, then he would’ve noticed that you had seemed unsure, seemed too engrossed in the feeling of your hands together that you weren’t able to make a great excuse. He once again resigns to what has been destined. “The Y/N L/N I know doesn’t do things half-assed,” Iwa claims as he drops their hands, “By that logic this should be okay right? So people would really think we’re together.”

‘It isn’t okay,’ You croak internally. Iwa decided to go against all things normal by doing this… this very compromising position that ensured the two of you looked like nothing else but a couple. Iwa decided, despite not knowing how much damage it would bring to your poor heart, to wrap an arm around your waist.

Unknown to the soon-to-be trainer, you were just as, if not more, smitten with him as Iwa was with you. You almost revealed the reason behind your bad break-up and even let Iwa see that he had this much of an effect on you. So this, to see Iwa be so into the role of his pretend boyfriend, both flustered and somehow hurt you.

You didn’t know why it hurt though.

“You okay there, dumbass? ” Iwa asks, getting too close to your face and being far too concerned than your heart could’ve handled.

Everything about this was confusing. Both of your minds were having their own storms as the both of you stumbled upon this new, confusing field in between friendship and romance. Closeness with Iwa wasn’t new to you at all. Him lightly calling you dumb wasn’t new at all. So why, in God’s name, did your ribcage feel like breaking apart from the very loud beating of your heart?

If Iwa had to ask himself the same question he asked you, he would’ve gotten a big ‘NO’ from himself. Initiating skinship to this extent made Iwa’s brain malfunction. Not only that, but the feeling of your waist was very much heavenly and mind-boggling. To put a cherry on top of the sundae called “Iwaizumi Hajime’s gay panicking,” the speechless and cute expression you had was too much for his heart.

Turns out that you would answer the same as Iwa, not that the brunette knew though.

This plan of yours started on the right course. Your dick of an ex did cheat on you and you wanted to make him regret ever even thinking of using you as a scapegoat from his problems. It was common sense to ask for the aid of your best friend, right? He, of all people, would know you and understand you best. So when did your fake dating extravaganza take its turn? At what point did this plan converge into something different?

In other words, did you still want to make your ex jealous? Or did you want to see how it would feel to date your best friend?

Time did not let you answer the many questions that formed in your pretty head. Before either of you knew it, you’ve arrived at the party.

You turn to look at Iwa, who was somehow already gazing at you with that intense fire in his eyes, and nod.

It’s showtime.

—reblogging helps a lot !! thank you for reading !!

[band--psycho]

Bucky Barnes x Reader-A Stupid Plan

Kicking the new year off the right way with this request!

Requested by Anon-I wanted to send in a Bucky imagine. Maybe where you're best friends but you have feelings for each other but don't talk about it. When you finally have the courage to tell him, you see him with another girl at the compound (talking, smiling..) so you leave the scene heartbroken and avoid him since that day. He feels sad without you and misses you so he tries to find a way to show you his feelings and explains that it was a misunderstanding & he only wants you?

Thank you for such an awesome request, I kinda got a bit carried away with this but I hope you enjoy it! 

Y/Ns POV

A startled yelp works it’s way up my throat before I can think to stifle it, panic setting in as I find myself suddenly airborn and thrown over a meaty shoulder. My mind was racing with ways to free myself but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t seem to break free from the hold. I tried to recall the moves Bucky had taught me in training, but all the memories seemed to blur into one as I attempted to focus on getting free from the hold. I knew Bucky would kick my ass for such a delayed reaction, but it all comes to a halt at the sound of a familiar throaty chuckle.

“Bucky?!Buck, Really?” Propping myself up as best I can, my grip slips as he loosens his hold, arms tightening just as I slip down to his chest. I felt butterflies erupting in my stomach at the thought of him holding me so close with one arm.

“We spoke about this, doll,”  He replies with a lilting tone, the amusement in his eyes clear as day, though I knew him well enough to recognise the underlying reprimand. I was too slow. Bucky was constantly reminding me to always keep my guard up and be prepared for any and all threats. 

“What if I was someone else?” He asked, with a tilt of his brow. 

“Then I’d have a hell of a lot to say to Tony in regards to his security systems,” I joked, causing him to shake his head as a small smirk graced his face, the familiar banter flowed seamlessly, helping to settle my nerves slightly.

Falling in love was never something I planned on. Least of all with my best friend, not that he knew. It took me a long time to admit to myself that had feelings for Bucky, to some of the people that knew me best it was obvious. Nat and Wanda knew how I felt about Bucky even before I truly did. Anytime they’d mention if I’d brush it off, tell them that they were just imagining things and that we were just friends. Wanda said that that’s how all the best love stories start, not that I paid much attention to what she said. Until things began to change...my feelings for him started to change, whenever I saw him I’d get this warm feeling in my heart, and I found myself worrying about how I looked around him. When I admitted to Nat and Wanda how I felt, they laughed, revealing in their triumph that they were right about how I felt, they said it was obvious by the way I looked at him; they said that they noticed the little twinkle in my eyes that would appear whenever  I was with him, whether it be training, talking or just simply being around him. It made me question if he knew. 

~~~~~

Third Person POV

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Y/nmuttered running a hand through her hair.

“It’s gonna be fine!” Wanda reassured, putting her arm round Y/n comfortingly,pulling her into a friendly side, making sure not to smudge any of the makeup Nat had decorated her face with.

“You look absolutely stunning, Y/n/n, he’s gonna love you,” Nat encouraged with a warm smile on her face.

“Now c’mon, let’s go,” she continued, extending her hand to Y/n, pulling her up with a small smirk on her face. 

“You’ve got this,” Wanda whispered in Y/ns ear as they made their way out of the room to the party. 

~~~~~

The party at the compound had only been going for about half an hour before Y/n made a swift exit,retreating back to her room. The water from her eyes mixed with the mascara she was wearing, causing trickles of black tears to stain her face. Y/n thought she had everything figured out, she was going to mingle with the other avengers for a while and then she was going to pull Bucky aside and take him to the terrace and admit her feelings to him...it all sounded so simple and romantic. But what Y/n hadn’t expected was to see another girl with Bucky. She was stunning. Her body was pressed closed to Buckys, one had lightly wrapped around his neck whilst the other stroked up and down his arm, meanwhile Buckys hands were sitting delicately on the girls waist, both of them laughing and smiling at each other in unison. The sight was enough to break Y/ns heart. She couldn’t work out what she hated more, the fact that she didn’t admit her feelings to him sooner or the fact that she let herself fall for him in the first place. They were friends and that’s all they could ever be even if Y/n wanted something more. 

~~~~~

Buckys POV

“It’s been three days, Steve,” I sighed, putting his head in his hands. I knew I never should’ve gone along with Starks plan, I should’ve listened to Steve and just been honest with Y/n. I’d love to say that I didn’t know what possessed me to listen to him, but that would’ve been a lie. I know why I listened to Stark instead of Steve because I was scared. Scared of rejection, of ruining our friendship for feelings only I felt. But by following Starks plan I managed to ruin our friendship anyway. The plan was to make her jealous so that she would admit if she felt anything for me...not to make her avoid me. I missed her. I missed everything about her, from our conversations and training sessions to just being around her in a comfortable silence.

“I miss her,” Steve just placed his hand on my shoulder at my words, a solemn smile coming across his face. 

“She’s hurt, Buck, you’d be the same if you saw her with another man.” He said simply and I knew he was right...I needed to tell her how I truly felt. I needed to tell her that I loved her and hope that it wasn’t too late. 

“Buck, where are you going?”

“To find Y/n/n and tell her how I feel, like I should’ve done,” I explained simply, leaving the room to go and find her. 

~~~~~

Third Person POV

Bucky quickly found Y/n, she was training. Releasing all the hurt, anger and sadness in every punch, the tears brimming in her eyes as she thought back to the party.  Bucky silently snuck towards her, worried if he announced himself she’d run away and he’d lose his chance. When he was just mere steps away from her, Y/n turned round with her fists still clenched, missing Buckys face by mere inches. 

“Sorry,” she muttered out reluctantly, part of her horrified at the fact that she nearly hit him, the other part of her wishing her fist had actually hit him. She went to make a quick exit but was stopped when she felt Buckys hand on her shoulder forcing her to face him.

“Can we talk,” he wasn’t asking a question, he was more pleading with her, begging her to let him explain. 

“I don’t think we have a lot to say to each other,” Y/n replied, trying to break free from his grip but to no avail.

“Doll, let me explain,” Bucky began calmly.

“You don’t need to explain anything,”Y/n interjected, cutting him off. The slight venom in her voice catching Bucky off guard.

“You’re with that girl and I’m happy for you, I’m happy that you’re happy because you deserve it but-“ 

“I’m not with her,” Bucky answered simply, causing Y/ns eyes to grow wide with confusion.

“Wh..what,” Y/n stuttered out, unsure if the words she heard were real.

“It was..it was part of Starks plan to make you jealous, the plan was that you seeing me with that girl would make you jealous and that if you did have any feelings for me you’d admit them,” an ashamed look came upon his face as he uttered those words.

“But instead I ended up losing you,” Bucky breathed out, the sadness washing over him as he let go of her arm, coming to terms with the fact that he’d lost the woman he loved.

“I’m so sorry, doll, I should’ve just told you the truth, I should’ve told you that I love you, you’re the only person I want,” the tears filling his eyes as he declared his true feelings, preparing for rejection. But no words came from Y/n. Instead he felt her soft hand caress his cheek, before rising up slightly on her tiptoes to place a delicate kiss on his lips. As soon as their lips touched both of them felt like there hearts could explode with sheer joy.

“I love you, too” she whispered against his lips, a beaming smile coming across both of their faces at her admission.

(Credit to the gif owner)

Tagging those who may enjoy this fic: 

@little-diable @xacatapelsyx @sarcasticallywitty15 @amythedvdhoarder @drabblewithfrannybarnes @chrissquares 

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

[sepublic]

Y’all ever read an angst fic without a happy ending that just UTTERLY wrecks you. And even if you know what happened in the fic would never happen in canon, that the characters would never do that, that it isn’t canon by the end of the day and just someone else’s interpretation- You just can’t rest?

Because even if you look at other fan content that has the characters be happy or reconciling, deep in your heart you know that this version of the characters, from that fic you read, will never get that happiness? And even if they did, that doesn’t change nor retcon the tragedy of what happened, it still happened and will forever mar their memories, and it’s just so unfair-

And then because you’re an utter wuss, your heart hurts. You feel a genuine pressure there from the ache and emotional pain that makes the chest feel heavy, that’s how powerful this fic was, especially if you really resonate with the characters hurt! Sometimes you gotta take a deep breath, just to relieve the physical hurt, and all the while you curse yourself because why are you so goddamn sensitive, they’re just fictional!

Just move on but you can’t, the worry and lack of closure is getting to you even when you should be working on something else, and then suddenly it’s hard to focus! Then you can’t even enjoy other happy content, especially if it included those hurt faves, because you keep thinking back to THAT fic and how that happened and how it ended there, and how it will always be left off at that point forever.

Seeing your faves, even in a happy context, just reminds you of that unresolved angst and it leaves an empty hole in your heart. It’s this bitter feeling and taste in your mouth and a part of you wishes you never read that, especially if the angst came as a gut-punch and back-stab to genuine emotional vulnerability and happiness, because there’s just that feeling of frustrated betrayal! And you WANT just the happy bits but not the sad bits, and it reminds you sometimes of things in your life that went so right until this one thing at the very end ruined it all. And now that happiness is forever tainted by the bitter potential that was torn away- And you can never take that back, can’t take back what happened, not in the story nor in real life. And it’s just utter despair when you realize that because what’s even the point of trying then?

Just... man. People really write this stuff for free, stuff that makes me FEEL, huh? And then they tear out my heart and stomp on it and I’m impressed but also lowkey salty. And obviously this all speaks to the larger wonder of the human condition and experience, but just focusing on the moment wow this really sucks. The characters really deserved better and seeing them happy is like a reminder that this is a lie of what they won’t ever have in that fic, and JEEZ why are you such a drama queen over a piece of fiction?!

And by the end of the day, there’s that bitter resignation that it might just take time. Time for you to heal and move on. But you’ll be damned if you won’t be kicking and screaming the whole way because that stuff made you FEEL things, and if you’re going to tease me with happiness, follow through on it! You’re lowkey salty and in some ways wish you never read that. But who knows? Life is weird. There IS a catharsis to sadness for many, but for some you also really need relief afterwards, especially if you really care for and resonate with these characters, that angst for them actually hits close to home!

So then you’re just bitterly left considering what could’ve been. Oh, if the author had cut things off at that happy point! Just kept it fluffy! But of course you’re not entitled to their writing decisions and the fact that it makes you feel this way is a testament to how good it is. And sometimes you’re just left wishing it wasn’t that good. Alas, that’s just how it is sometimes- Opening yourself to joy means opening yourself up to despair. And writers are entitled to make what they want, you kind of accepted the warnings. Plus as someone who’s written angst without a happy ending yourself, you’re not one to talk- There’s this dim realization of “So that’s what it feels like.”

You have empathy for your readers now and does this mean you will be more merciful? Who can tell. Sometimes if something hurts you as a writer that YOU made, you kind of revel in sharing that with others so their reactions can validate your feelings, and so they can get that unusual catharsis too. There’s that satisfaction that you can inspire emotion. Maybe we can BOTH share the pain and move past it together, of what happened in this story- Especially if you don’t intend to expand on it. Like damn that’s cruel exposing others to that misery of your own making, but that’s also media and content and catharsis y’all.

And sometimes it’s worse when it’s not a fanfic but a fully official piece of media. Sometimes that can be WORSE because it IS fully canon, even if there’s usually a hopeful guarantee that there has to be a resolution. But not always, depending on the type of media at hand. And as I said, that’s just part of the risk, and really the thrill, of emotionally opening up and engaging with media, with putting yourself and your heart there, seeing yourself, and having empathy that feels like pain to yourself when those characters suffer. Empathy sure is a bitch, but it’s a begrudgingly worthwhile one that you’d never give up. And that’s just for FICTION, too- Stuff that isn’t even real, characters not even actual people with real emotions!

Jeez- You’re an utter mess. And lemme tell you it’s even worse when that fic leaves off right in the middle of that despair, not even giving either you nor the characters that coping period to come to terms with what happened. Just leaving them stunned in that eternal hurt, right smack dab in the middle of where it hurts most. Not even the luxury of getting to step back and look back, no you and the characters, they never left that moment, and that’s what I mean when it sucks about that lack of closure. This is their ending and that’s all there is, any speculation lends to the worst of your imagination.

So it’s like you’re both trapped in that moment. No time afterwards to recover. No time afterwards to reflect, even if it still ends in despair, because there’s not even that solace of it ending, of you getting away physically- You’re still IN that moment forever, and it’s lowkey suffocating and feels like it’s surrounding you 24/7. You can never escape, you won’t, it’s still there and always will be- You’ll always be there. You’re trapped and you need an escape, anything, but it’s not there. And even if you write your own escape and happy resolution or alternate ending in denial, that’s just your imagination and wishful thinking, not the reality of what happened in that story. So not even your or others’ fanfic can help, and dammit this really sucks huh?

You can’t move on because you never got to see the characters do the same, after all- And unfortunately, you’re seeing too much of yourself in them. It’s all fun and games torturing the reader until you, the writer, are one of them! And in some ways the writer IS the reader too, of their own work, they have the control so that just makes it all the more funny that the writer still subjects themselves to that anyway, stubbornly. With determined, sadomasochistic resolve. You’re gonna make your own bed and lie in it, yet you complain how the bed was made and that you’re lying in it in the first place, when no one is making you!

Why are you like this, why do you keep coming back to this? But again, such is catharsis and that release of emotion that puts it into words and something that feels real and validating, when otherwise you’re just dead inside and can’t explain nor justify it. Sometimes it’s easy to be cruel when you’re detached, other times you deliberately hurt yourself when writing or reading- Because somehow there’s a relief in THAT to your emotions, that you get to feel them fully now instead of just dully grasping at them numbly but not really...

...But damn if you don’t wish it could’ve gotten the happy ending. If you’re writing, there’s always that relief that you’re in control, that you chose this, that you can always reverse it if you wanted. But if you’re a reader or viewer you’re at the helpless whims of someone else, vulnerable and out there. As the writer you saw it coming, but as the audience you’re just as blindsided and betrayed as the characters. There is no hope of agency or change or control, no realization of what’s to come, and THAT. Sucks.

But hey- At least you’re writing about this. At least you’re putting this out there into tangible words, because that makes it feel real. Your feelings are real and valid. And it helps to cope and process and realize how this made you felt and sometimes that’s worse, but also that understand grants some lose agency and control, because you can now at least comprehend it. And maybe then, can you come to terms with it. Accept, and finally... move on. Hopefully to happier things. And if you see yourself in those characters, then it gives hope that they can move on too, in this hypothetical fic, in this universe of theirs where something inevitably had to have happened afterwards.

...Unless they died. But uh, at least YOU can move past that I guess. And that shows that even amidst that despair, others can feel joy afterwards, and damn it if it wasn’t all worth it anyway for those characters, too! You can look back and decide it was worthwhile, so can they in there hypothetical sense, so they don’t regret living even if their ‘death’ wasn’t exactly ideal. That somebody, out there, understands, that it wasn’t all for naught- That the audience can benefit at least from the joy and pain, that the character is at least understood before death, and that provides a relief and closure of its own, that the story is not unsung and unheard nor forgotten, far from it. They are in a sense immortalized by the media and thus protected and preserved, and that can help make up for it- Not just another nameless and senseless tragedy but one that can be learned from and felt for catharsis!

...I dunno, I’ve just been really waxing and poetic lately over angst without a happy ending. I guess talking about that helps to prove my earlier point about coping, but also reassuring myself that it’s not the end of the world. And sharing those feelings out there means others who feel the same can arrive. They can also feel solace and reassurance and validation from this perhaps, and provide it as well. And we realize that in the end, we’re not alone and it’s okay to feel- It gets better. Maybe not that moment, but life as a whole, and even if life doesn’t improve, at least you got that and the release in the first place.

And that’s that relief that because it’s all fiction, it gives you a place to be ultimately safe as you explore these ideas and feelings, VS real life. Your feelings are still real probably, but at least the suffering of the characters themselves isn’t, and that is in many ways a relief, because even if there IS something to be learned from this- There are better and infinitely less painful ways to do so! And dammit, the tragedy can be salvaged to a degree, but the pain was not at ALL worth what we got out of this! This is more minimizing damage by trying to control it than an actual trade really. Suffering CAN be learned from, but let’s be a real, it is it not at all worth it, nor justifies its cause by the end of the day.

Even if the characters’ suffering and by consequence joy isn’t real- Even if they themselves do not exist, what you see in them, what’s reflected from yourself in them, the feelings they inspire... THAT is real and if you can see and feel yourselves in that, in some ways they’re real too, because aren’t you as well? And again, it’s like you’re exploring yourself, but ultimately there’s that safe reprieve that comes from fiction.

...But dammit you really do wish that author had just stuck to the happy bits and not bothered with the angst, we could’ve had it all! And Y’know what, those feelings and gripes are valid, even if the author’s choices are as well. Reader and writer are both valid, just don’t put them in the same room together, because there is SALT there!

[roger-that-cap]

once upon a december

knight!steve x reader (sort of an anastasia au type thing!)

word count: 4.09k!

warnings: i think swearing! but other than that this is good for everyone!

did not check her for errors, sorry!

part two!

You rode for about fifteen minutes at medium speed on the huge horse that felt like seconds to you by the time you were coming into town. The way the horse stopped startled you, because just as fast as he started his trot, it felt natural to you. It would have brought you all the way to sleep, if your mind hadn’t been so wary about who was right in front of you. 

“This is our stop,” he muttered, getting off of his horse and turning to you, and you reached your hand out to be helped down, landing softly on your feet. “You good?” 

“I am, thank you.” You said out of politeness, and he nodded. You looked at where his eyes were looking as he tied his horse to the tree, and you immediately recognized it as a bar. “A bar?” 

Those were forbidden back at the orphanage. You had been told that only low people went there, people with no class. As far as you were concerned, orphans were the lower class. You couldn’t get lower than that in the kingdom. Right above you were the common bargoers, you believed. 

“There a problem with that?” 

“I don’t speak to drunk men.” You surely didn’t. You had learned from others that men who were drunk wanted one of two things at all times, and that was to start a fight or to make children. At first, you had faith in the men that people talked so down on. But you learned. Like all other women, you learned. “If he wants to speak to me, he’ll have to come outside.” 

 “It’s cold,” James said, giving you a face. 

You weren’t going in a room full of rowdy people. You much rather preferred hushed, passionate conversations and whispers. It was just… better. “If he’s a good man, he won’t make me go in there.” 

“What does him being a man have to do with that?” 

“Men are nasty,” you said boldly, and he gave you a slightly amused, slightly agitated look. “And they’re all in there,” you said, grimacing when you heard boisterous laughter. “If you want a good seamstress, you’ll bring him out here to talk.”

“Where are you from?” He asked out of nowhere, and you were both shocked at his blatant attitude and relieved by it. 

“Why?” 

“You don’t sound like you’re from around here.” He per his horse twice before looking back at you. “So, where are you from?” 

You took a deep breath and then exhaled, watching it leave your body with an intense curiosity before you answered his question. “Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t know?” 

 A slow smile spread across his face, and then he was grinning, a shallow but true grin. And then, he shook his head once. “No.” He turned around and walked straight into the bar. 

You had no idea what to do. Were you supposed to stand there and wait, possibly even freeze? Or was that a sign for you to follow him or go on your own way? You had already tried to be on your own, and that didn’t work well at all. Maybe you were a team player before you were an orphan. 

  You stood with your arms wrapped around your body, swishing back and forth and bending your knees every so often, locking eyes with the horse every now and again before finally turning away from the bar and throwing your head up, giving out a groan. 

  “Hey,” you tilted your head back down. “Buck tells me you’re a seamstress for cheap.” You turned around and faced the direction where the sound of boots slapping snow came from, and immediately you were stunned. 

 A blonde man, even taller than his brunette companion, was standing there, his steps long stuttered at the sight of you. You could see his blue eyes clearly even through the flurries of snow that were still coming down. You frowned subconsciously, something about the sight of him tugging at your mind. 

He took a few steps closer, and you stayed put. You could have sworn that his head was going to pop right out of his neck when he pushed it forward, trying to get a good look at your face. He was close enough where you could see the looks of surprise, confusion, and anger morph into one. His jaw slacked, and as quiet as the wind, he said one word. “Alexandra?” 

Just like that, your enchantment with the second grown man that you had seen during your journey dropped. You shook your head at him. “Who’s Alexandra?” 

His slight joy dropped, plummeted so far that you couldn’t have caught it even if you tried. “Who are you?” He questioned harshly.

“Y/N,” you said cautiously, narrowing your eyes on him. “I make clothes. You said you needed help,” you said, and you looked towards the hole in his pants and how they were shorter than what they needed to be, and you also caught sight of a huge hole under his arm. You gave him a look. “And it seems to me that you do need help, so don’t be so hostile.” 

“Buck, who-”

“I found her. She sprained her ankle.” 

The blonde man had you on the receiving end of a harsh look and then yanked his friend to the side, seemingly for a private conversation that wasn’t so private because of how loud he was, and how good your hearing was. 

 You could tune into nearly anything, and tune out of nearly anything. It was the perk of being the oldest for most of your time at the orphanage. Some kids were fighting while another needed some help, and you couldn’t listen to both. And so, you adapted. 

 “This- who is she? Who is that, Bucky?” Bucky? His name was Bucky and not James?

“She says she’s-”

“I know, but she sews, too?” The man’s voice was quiet. “She- she looks like an older version of Alexandra.” 

“I know.” 

Whoever this “Alexandra” girl was, the blond man was not happy about you resembling her. It was all over his face and in his body language. “So, why did you bring her here?” 

“He brought me here because your pants are too small,” you chimed in, and they jumped. “What? I have good hearing. What can I say?”  

 “It’s not polite to eavesdrop.” 

“Guess my parents never taught me that,” you joked, knowing that they wouldn’t get it. “I can fix your clothes. I just need money, and quiet. All the whispering freaks me out, and I can hear it.” 

 “Who are you really?” 

“I’m Y/N, I’m an orphan, and I’m a seamstress in training.” 

“You’ve never worked in a shop?” 

“W-well, no, but I- I know how to sew,” you said, getting tripped up on your words the second he started to ask you about what you could do. “In fact, I did all of my clothes myself.” 

He looked you up and down. “How did you learn?” 

You had a feeling that I always just knew wasn’t going to be enough for the blond man, especially because he already didn’t like you. “I… it’s a natural talent.” 

 “Ha!” His laugh was more of an exclamation than anything as he looked up to the sky and shook his head. “When will I be done paying for the past?” 

You made a face at him and waited for his dramatics to subside, tapping your foot in the snow despite your utter freezing. “So, are you going to give me your pants to work on…?” 

“What’s your rate, girl?” 

“Don’t call me that.” You retorted. “Who are you, anyway?” 

“Sir Steven,” he answered, and you saw James give him a look. “What pay do you want?” 

“Enough to get a train ticket to Auren.” They both looked at you strangely, and it was for long enough that you took a step back and crossed your arms over your chest. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Why are you going there?” James asked carefully, almost as if he was walking on the thinnest sheet of ice over a lake that he was standing in the middle of. You didn’t like it. 

“Because I want to.” You didn’t even consider trying to explain to them about the pull you felt. They looked rich. They looked like they had never experienced loss before. You hadn’t met many knighted men, but you felt like they were too pretty to have seen much at all. “So, if you can’t trade me some new clothes for a ticket, then, I’ll find someone else.” 

“We were actually heading that way.” 

“That way?” You asked, a brow cocked. “You mean to get there by horse?” 

  “It’s no more than a three week ride from here, if we’re fast.” James explained, looking to his partner, who was still staring holes in your face. “The trail is already made.” 

  You knew what he was insinuating. Was it wise to agree to it? Probably not, and at the same time, it may save you money and time. It would take you a long time to work up what you needed for a ticket, but if they were offering to let you ride with them if you fixed their clothes every so often, that could be it. On the back of a horse could be the way you got to Auren, away from the snow, away from everything you’ve conditioned yourself to know again. 

“Are you offering for me to come with you?” The huge, blond man looked horrified. 

“If you’re comfortable with riding,” he said, ignoring the lethal look that “Steven” gave him. “We mess up our clothes a lot, we could use someone who knows how to fix them. How fast are you?” 

“Very.” And you were. You were quick and accurate, and you only got quicker with every passing month. 

  “I’m sorry-” the glowering man gave you a fake smile and turned around to his friend. “We need to talk.” He pulled him off to the side, way too far for you to hear, and sighed and shook your head. 

 “Hey, horse.” You muttered, petting him a few times. “Do me a favor, would you?” There was no verbal answer, of course. “If you think I should go with them, stomp your foot twice. 

You didn’t even need for him to stomp his huge feet for you to know what you were doing. The men seemed more honorable than the ones you were warned about, and for some reason, you knew that you could trust them more, even if the blond one was angry. The time it would take for you to earn the money would be past three weeks, and in three weeks, you could potentially already be in Auren. It made no sense for you to not take the deal, so you decided that you would make sense. 

  Minutes later, a red faced Steve and a frustrated James came back over, only to find you talking sweet to James’ grey horse. 

“What do you need to sew?” James asked, hands on his hips, near his sword though you knew that he wasn’t going to be using it. “Supplies?” 

You tried not to smile. “I have everything but cloth and string that matches the colors of your clothing, really.” 

“We don’t care much for looks,” Steve muttered and turned to his own horse, giving you his back. “Just do what you do, and we’ll pay you.” 

“We’ll pay you and,” the brunet added, giving his friend a dirty look. “You can ride with us, but you’ll have to share horses with someone.” 

 “You,” you said automatically, making Steve turn his head your way. “You seem to be the one most on board with me coming, so… you. Please.” 

  “Fine by me,” He said, shrugging. “We should get you out of the cold and set up camp.” 

  You nodded, and your shoes crunched on the snow as you walked forward. Right before you hoisted yourself up on Bucky’s horse, you heard the other man call out at you. “Don’t try it if you can’t do it yourself-” you interrupted him by effortlessly swinging onto the horse, scooting back to give the man enough room for when he got up himself. 

 “You ever rode a horse before?” 

Not to my knowledge. “No.” 

Steve gave you a long look, scrutinizing and breaching into the rude factor. He nodded his head after the lengthy stare and then looked towards Bucky. “We riding out?” 

“She’s going to freeze if we don’t set something up, and a fire, too.” You agreed with that mentally. Bucky hoisted himself up and then tapped his horse quite lovingly before the both of you started on a trot, your legs trembling against the backs of his from the freezing cold. 

 §§

You didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep until you felt yourself hit the ground. Not a sound came out of you as you roused yourself from your sleep, blinking slowly as you registered the cold, and the sound of shouting. 

“Shit!” You felt yourself being picked up by the arms and you sighed, feeling your wet clothes get even more damp. Your shoes were as good as gone. Your shirt was barely salvageable and your pants were probably better off if you took them off. “Are you-”

You were traded off into another set of arms, and you nearly flinched when warm hands touched your neck. “Is she alive?” 

“Yeah, but we need a fire. Now.” 

You shook your head and opened your eyes, blinking once you saw the night sky above you being halfway blocked by Steve’s face while he peered down at you, that same suspicious and questioning look that he had before on his face again. You raised your arms up and put your hands together, rubbing them to get some friction going, and hopefully some heat. You were cold, and hardly awake. 

Before you even knew what you were doing, you stood up on your own, reaching for the bag on your back and pulling it in front of your eyes, your hands digging for something.  

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, his tone annoyed. “Take it easy.” 

You ignored him easily as you took out the thick quilt that you made that was folded up and nearly done. You grunted when you realized that you never quite finished it, and then you pulled out your scissors. Your hands shook as you found where you left off and realized that cutting and tying would do nothing but ruin it. 

“Are you seriously trying to knit right now?” Steve asked, irritation leaking into his question as Bucky worked on starting a fire not too far away, diligently blowing and running stones against each other.

“Gotta finish,” you mumbled, and then you shook your hands out. 

“Just put it on, worry about finishing later-” he was cut off by your hands working rapidly, threading the thick material through your largest needle at what was almost your top speed, never missing once. He stared down at your hands and your face as your concentration never broke. You finished the last line, grabbed scissors, and ended it before you wrapped it around yourself. “How… I thought you said you were never taught.” 

“I wasn’t.” 

“Fire’s ready,” Bucky called, and you stumbled during your first two steps only to fall forward and be caught by Steve, who made an exasperated sound. “Don’t put the blanket in the fire, Y/N.” 

You were freezing. You were tired. You had just finished a knitting project that you assumed would take you much longer than you thought. And you had a feeling that everything you were feeling was going to be a constant thing on the journey that you had barely begun. 

The morning after you felt better, and the sun hitting your skin made you glow like a golden flower. You were back to the slightly bubbly attitude you naturally had, waving to Bucky when you woke up and saw him still on watch, immediately starting to knit something. 

“Those socks?” He asked I’m a raspy voice after watching you for a few minutes, and you nodded. 

“I’m making a few pairs for all of us.” 

“How much material do you have?” He looked at your bag, and you laughed. It seemed small, but you lived confined all your life. You knew how to compress things to make them fit, and you knew that to anyone else, your bag probably seemed like a magic trick. 

“A lot,” You mused, looking to the side as Steve woke from his sleep at the sound of your voice. “All my life’s savings have gone to material to sew, fabrics of all kinds.” 

“Why didn’t you save to get a train ticket?” He asked softly, almost like he knew that he probably shouldn’t have asked. 

Your fingers stopped moving as quickly as you thought, your movements much slower, slow enough for them to see what you were doing with them. “I could live without making it to Auren, I suppose,” you replied just as soft, looking back down to your hands. “But… sewing? No. I couldn’t live without doing that.” 

 “You love it that much?” 

Your expression of nonchalance turned into muted confusion when he asked that. Did you love sewing? You weren’t sure. You weren’t sure if you loved it or if you knew it, and those were two different things. It was your way of life that you would never abandon, but did that mean that you loved it? “I… I know it, I think.” You dropped your arms onto your lap. “It’s the only thing I have, I guess.” You had sewing and dancing, the kind that all the commoners learned to do. 

Steve frowned, too. “Have from when?” 

A small scowl formed on your face, the same one that you hid from the younger kids when they pressed on for you to remember something that you clearly didn’t. You wiped it off of your face and just gave a shrug. “I don’t know. But it’s the only thing I have in this world that is mine, so I’ll keep it.” 

“Okay,” Bucky said, giving Steve a look when he saw that the ever persistent man was about to keep pressing. “Do you think you can sew and ride at the same time?” 

“Probably,” you answered. 

Steve stood up. “Then let’s get it moving.” 

You had been given Steve’s pants to work on while you rode, and you started with the hole first. You found a fabric that matched the color relatively closely and went with it, finished within forty minutes. You couldn’t do much about the length other than estimate how much longer he needed them, and your guess was two and a half inches or so. 

By the time you were almost done with the first leg, you looked at the sun and realized that you were going in the wrong direction. “Uh…” you started softly, and you felt Bucky tense up. “Where- this isn’t the direction we’re supposed to be headed.” 

“We have to make a short detour, pick up a friend.” 

“How far is your friend?” 

“Shouldn’t be more than twenty leagues from here,” Bucky answered, his strong voice louder than the cutting wind. “He’s good people.” 

“Does he live where cloth is available?” 

“I thought you spent all your money?” Steve asked from beside you, his eyes watching your every move, like they had been the whole time. 

 “I did,” you confirmed, and you smiled when he looked confused. “I can basically talk my way into getting anything,” you said, and you watched him roll his eyes. “Except for someone to adopt me, I guess.” 

You felt Bucky’s snort more than you heard it, and Steve had a look on his face that said that he didn’t know if he was allowed to laugh at the joke or not, but you shrugged. “Is that one of your talents?”

“What?” 

“Sweet talking.” 

You made a face. It had been something that came slower, like a memory that was in the part of your brain that was much less quicker than the rest. It was the reason some didn’t ever warm up to you at the orphanage, especially the adults. They called you charming, they said that the combination of your smart tongue and your “accent”, whatever it was, was telling a different story than the one you remembered. 

“If I hadn’t seen you being brought in by that man myself, I would have called Marta a liar. You’re no orphan. You- you were something else. Someone else.” The Warden’s words haunted your mind every so often. 

“It’s something I think I might have known how to do before.” 

“Before what?” Steve asked, and you breathed in through your nose, ignoring the sting of the cold air. 

“Before I lost my memory.” The world froze there. “I woke up in the snow, someone brought me to the orphanage, and I don’t remember anything before that.” 

“What do you mean, you don’t remember?” 

“It means that I don’t know,” you said. “I don’t even think Y/N is my real name. I didn’t remember what it was, so I picked it. I knew how to read, and I saw it in a book, so I took it.” 

“Holy… when were you put into the orphanage?” 

“I was… I think I was fifteen or sixteen. It’s hard to say, no one could tell my age without giving me an exam and I said no to that one,” you chuckled, but neither man was laughing. You hadn’t even realized that you stopped riding, and that Steve had turned his horse so that he was looking at you head on without having to turn his body. 

  “You don’t know who you are?” 

“I know who I am,” you said, getting a little defensive. Even though

“You just said that you didn’t remember what happened to you through the first sixteen years of your life, that’s a huge chunk of time.” 

 “Well, I know who I am now.” Steve frowned deeply. “I’m Y/N, I like to knit, and I’m good at talking. That’s it. That’s all you need to know. That’s all I know.” 

“Have you tried to find something out?” 

“What do you think going to Auren is about?” You quizzed, feeling oddly satisfied when that shut him up. “I think someone’s there.” 

“Who?” 

“Someone who knew me,” you said. 

“How do you know that they’re there?” 

“I just have a feeling,” you said, your voice slightly whimsical as you thought about being reunited with people who cared about you, the people you had guilty lost recollection of. “And I also have nothing to lose.” 

“None of us do,” Steve said, and then he snapped the reins on his horse and began trotting forwards. 

“Steve, Buck!” You had fallen asleep and woken up to the enthusiastic shouting of a man. “That was much faster than expected.” You wiped your face with your hand and straightened your posture, attempting to stop your teeth from chattering like they previously were. “Do you have someone- oh, Holy Hera.”

A man with nearly the same look of shock that you had was looking at you, eyes wide. You would have assumed that what he felt was terror, if his lips weren’t slowly curling up into a smile. The world stood still again as you both analyzed each other, him with much more confusion and enthusiasm than you. 

 “Alexandra!” He nearly shouted, and he bent his body downwards, into a deep kneeling position. You tilted your head to the side, so confused by his sign of respect that you didn’t see the looks of panic on the other men’s faces. “I always-”

“Y/N.” Steve said sharply, interrupting him and catching all three of you by surprise because of his hostility. “Her name is Y/N.” He was the first to climb off of his horse, and he gave the man a pat on the back before entering the house like he had been a thousand times and lacked the need for invitation. 

“Who is Alexandra?” You asked again, upset at being mistaken for someone for the second time.

“She’s um, she’s no one.” Bucky said, shooting his friend a look. “This is Sir Sam Wilson. He’s a great man, very honorable.” 

“A pleasure to meet you, Sir.” You responded, helping yourself off of the horse and ignoring the icy air that surrounded Steve’s sharp actions. 

You saw him look at your quilt, and then at the bag that had needles dangerously poking out. “You sew?”

“I do,” you responded, and he smiled. “I think I’m hired to be their seamstress and accompany them to Auren.” 

“You have interest in going to Auren?” 

“Yes,” you answered, drawing out the last letter to make it sound like less of a short answer. You smiled at him and moved to get off of the horse, ignoring the way that he rushed forward, hands outstretched to help you down. You swung both of your legs around and hopped right off without problems, prompting for the knight to give you an impressed look. 

“You’ve ridden before?” 

You knew you looked like you couldn’t even afford a bucket to put the horse food in, and that was why he was asking. It didn’t bother you at all, because the assumption was painfully true. “Actually, before I met them,” you nodded towards Bucky and Steve’s horse, “never.” 

“Never?” He echoed. “Even the noblewomen request help from getting down off of their horses. I’ve helped probably every noblewoman who ever stepped foot in the palace walls by horse, besides- yes,” he cut himself off, brushing his hands on his pants and nodding sharply, like he had just remembered something. “Well, I’m sure you’re starving and in need of warmth. I think Steve has already seen himself to the food.” 

Sam was right. There were already bowls out, and Steve had filled them with soup and was waiting for everyone else to start eating, even though he looked like he was using all of his strength to do it. His hands were hidden under the table and his leg was bouncing up and down as he stared at his bowl, hunger evident in his expression. 

 “What have you been eating?” 

“We’ve only come across rabbits and squirrels,” Steve muttered, clutching his spoon. 

 “It’s been an unfortunate season,” Bucky added, giving Sam a look. “And you know that Steve doesn’t operate on an empty stomach.” 

  “Oh, do I,” He said, a grin on his face as he said it. “Help yourself, Y/N! Don’t be shy.” 

“If you insist, Sir.” 

“So polite,” he teased, and you cracked a smile. “Where are you from?” 

You almost grimaced. “A small town, a ways away from here. Yakir.” 

  “Really?” 

“Yes. It’s not very fun, nothing much to do.” That was the grossest understatement ever. There was quite literally nothing to do, and even if there was something to do there, you were restricted by the operators at the orphanage. “Except for learning manners, I suppose.” 

  That gained you a smile, and you took your own spoon, first putting it on the other side of your bowl before eating, and folding the napkin out on your lap, crossing your legs and sitting up straight in your chair, leaning over slightly to blow on the soup that you picked up with your spoon. 

  “This is very good, thank you for making it,” you said after having a bit of it, and you were being honest. It was good, even though you were sure that anything would have tasted good at that moment. 

  “You’re welcome,” Sam dragged out, eyeing you oddly as you ate the soup in your bowl, which put the attention on you at the table. 

“Um…” you trailed off, trying to get at least one of them to explain why they were staring at you like you grew a head and cut it off and then went back to business. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Bucky assured, and he picked up his own spoon and waved it around, making a big show of starting to eat and hoping that the others would do the same. You raised your brows and then put your lips together before parting them again to drink from the spoon, figuring that whatever weird exchange that was, was going to eventually be explained. 

  You finished first, and you felt weird about it. Your stomach was full, though, so you watched the fire crackling in Sam’s fireplace with a far off look in your eyes as you thought about Lucas, and what he could be doing. 

  Did he miss you already like you missed him? Did his young mind offer to spare him some pain by forgetting you were ever there? You almost preferred it to be that way, because you knew that the kid didn’t sleep without you feet away from him. He didn’t eat if you didn’t, he didn’t go outside if you weren’t watching him. You prayed that he wouldn’t remember you.

  “What are you thinking so hard about?” 

The words that came from Steve took you right out of your mind as you kept your eyes on the burning fire, a small smile gracing your face as you thought about him again. “Nothing.”

****

hey junebugs!! how are y’all? this is entirely self indulgent at this point- and i love this! can’t wait to do more with this steve! we’re gonna build a relationship here with this miniseries, no love at first sight this time! i don’t think anyone’s vibing with this rn but i at least hope y’all liked it! if you did like it, please drop a like or reblog or a comment! i loveee comments omg

[saladejin]

Admire | 05

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: Some depressing and painful talk but nothing crazy, a few fluffy and domestic-ish moments for u all, and oh ... there’s only one bed? O_o

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: This is so different from what it used to be, wow. I was out here changing entire paragraphs lol, but anyway sorry if there are any mistakes! Let me know your thoughts at the end :)

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The road fell away in front of you as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone. After a round of brusque insistence on his behalf, you'd finally given in and let Seokjin convince you into relinquishing the driver's seat after a couple of hours on the road. You made sure to grumble in protest before plonking yourself down on the passenger side, him brushing you off easily.

You’d put the memory of the thoughtless kiss to the back of your mind, hoping that he’d forgotten just as swiftly. You were here to enjoy your trip, not to overthink about what had happened in the past. Thinking back on the past 24 hours, you sighed in defeat.

Let’s hope we don’t crash. 

*hours earlier*

You both arrived at the meeting place after countless attempts of stuttering out the most confusing directions to the driver. At this point, you almost wanted to pass out and it was still relatively early. 

Managing to greet all your aunties, uncles, and cousins as a couple of lovebirds came effortlessly enough. It was nothing but a way of life for you and Seokjin these days.

“(Y/n) you’ve grown so much. Oh, I’m going to cry!”

You tried to calm one of your more eccentric aunties while your husband stood awkwardly to the side, looking around at the gathered group of people in contemplation. Dressed casually again, he hadn’t been prepared for the sheer number of everyday individuals preparing to depart. All beside a line of large black and white motorhomes which were currently fuelling up under the shade of nearby woodland.

Once the two of you finally managed to break away from the introductions and reunions, you let out a sigh of relief. You were finally alone, sinking into the refurbished leather seats of the vehicle to regain your composure. Dealing with a horde of chipper relatives can deplete one’s energy like a starved leech if it continues for too long.

“Sorry, they’re just excited.” You laughed airily, leaning forward to switch on the air conditioner. The temperature outside was already heating up from the unforgiving sun, and you were going to positively drown in sweat if you didn’t get some cold air blasting on you lickety-split.

“They’re…lively. But it’s okay, I signed up for it anyway,” the tall man replied with a smirk of his own. He seemed amused at how quickly you'd been swamped, but he also seemed to notice how happy you were at receiving all the attention.

“The first one will probably leave soon. I’ll start driving and then if you want you can switch with me later. We won’t make it to the first stop today, but it’ll most likely end up being late tomorrow morning,” you explained while readying yourself at the wheel of the vehicle. Seokjin hummed in acknowledgement and craned his long neck backwards to ensure your bags were all safe a secure.

You admired how comfortable he looked in his simple travelling clothes. How he could pull off such a simple but effective appearance that highlighted his handsome features, such as his dusky brown eyes and midnight coloured locks of hair - hair that had grown out and gotten nicely longer, you might add - was a complete and utter mystery to you.

“By the way, we don’t have to put on as much of an act here with these people,” you began on a weirdly sombre note, trying not to look over at him for a reaction. “The whole relationship thing doesn’t matter to them as much. They won’t get suspicious or question us, so don’t stress too much about going all out, alright?”

“Okay,” came his simple reply, void of much emotion.

You didn’t know why you expected anything else, but a small part of you longed to continue pretending. You wanted to be with him, wanted to feel his hands on your skin again. It was almost too much for you to handle. You couldn’t imagine anyone else ever feeling so conflicted about their own lover, not to mention having hands on your arms of all places.

Absurd. Right?

Suddenly, the motorhome in front of you began rolling forward and you pressed down slowly on the gas pedal to follow suit. Seokjin twisted his broad shoulders back around to face the front, blinking harshly as the sunlight shone through the windscreen and hit him forcefully in the face.

Your lips quirked up in an amused smirk. What a goof.

*present*

Your eyes drooped with a heavy sleepiness as Seokjin finally pulled the truck into the site where everyone would be camping. The drive had been quite lengthy, but you’d been swapping every few hours or so until you’d become too tired to go on. Being the husband-material he was, Seokjin gladly took the burden of getting you both through the rest of the way.

“Hey wake up, everyone’s getting out for some reason.”

You blinked the sleep out of your eyes and groaned, feeling slightly more energised from your nap but still groggy. You slowly made your way down the steps and outside into the humid air, nostalgic memories finally flowing into your mind as you watched the members of your family collecting around several bright vans.

“Oh, this is the food truck stop,” you rasped out in a matter-of-factly tone, causing Seokjin to eye you in confusion. It was luckily still light enough to catch his dumbfounded expression.

“There are food trucks in this parkland area, so we can go and buy some hot-dogs or something if we want. It’s always the first dinner stop,” you tried to explain mid-yawn. The sky was blending into darkness as the sun began to set below the horizon.

“You’re so sleepy.” Seokjin snorted lowly, almost chuckling when you looked up at him through glaring watery eyes from the yawn, as if it weren’t obvious enough. He looked fairly relaxed, and you gently smiled at the sight of his beautiful eyes lighting up with wonder at the view of the campsite around him.

It was enthralling, how fascinated he was with absolutely everything. Even though the red cap sitting atop his black mop of hair cast a shadow over his face, it was still easy to spot just how eager he was to just enjoy life normally for once. To be a commoner and forget about all the pressed suits he had hanging up at home, the bucket loads of cash sitting in his bank account, the disapproving parents.

Now was the time he could finally taste the sweetness of freedom.

All of a sudden, the tall man left a tap on your shoulder and leaned in close once you faced him curiously. The stuffy fog of sleep was immediately chased away from your whirring mind, and you widened your eyes in shock when one of his hands pulled you closer, indicating what he wanted you to do with a simple touch.

Is he initiating a kiss, for once?

You reacted almost instantly to his subtle body language, everything coming naturally as you stepped in closer and raised your lips to peck his plump ones sweetly. Your whole body was buzzing with eruptions of joy, heat and surprise at the impulse; hands curling into his shirt so that you could feel the warmth of his body even more…for just a little bit longer. It was so rare for him to be bold like this.

For a single second, you forgot what your relationship truly was and felt - for the first time - what it was like to pour your heart into loving another person.

An older man cackled with his friend as they shared a beer together. “My, you young ones are just so passionate, aren’t you?” You swept some hair back behind your ear and ducked your head to hide the embarrassed flush. Or maybe you were trying to hide the stupid smile sitting on your face.

“I’ll get some food for us,” Seokjin said after another few moments of observing the place. You inwardly gaped at him as he moved towards one of the colourful food trucks, wondering if he was going to actually cover you for food.

What's gotten into him? Maybe it’s just because he’s used to putting on a performance, and that it’s such a different setting on top of that.

You shook your head to rid yourself of the fluffy feelings and jogged up to where your dark-haired partner was lining up for hot dogs.

“Do you want me to give you some cash for mine?” you asked hesitantly, gaze imploring for his attention again.

“No, go find a table to sit at,” he murmured, flicking his head upwards to point out a group of empty wooden tables nearby. You were pleasantly surprised at his motive and couldn’t help the way your jaw went slightly slack, simply stunned. Eventually, you complied and headed over towards the seats.

He'd looked so refreshed and so pleased with himself. Even with the weariness brought on by the long and tiresome journey.

The whole area was illuminated by a few atmospheric park lamps, but everyone knew that it would soon grow too dark to stay outside for much longer. Plus, you’d all need a good night’s sleep if you were going to make it to your stop tomorrow. You almost groaned again at the thought of driving so early.

“Here, I forgot to ask what drink you wanted, but you usually like bubbly stuff so I got a soft drink.”

Bit different from champagne, you surmised, but it was cute that he thought like that.

Seokjin placed a can next to where your arm was resting on the tabletop. Then, he held out a delicious looking hot dog sprinkled with fried onion rings, and you couldn’t stop the way your stomach grumbled and growled at the sight.

“I’m a starved woman, thank you.’’

He sat down and glanced around at the groups of people chatting, the strange but somehow never misplaced glimmer of interest never faltering in his eyes. On the other hand, you essentially inhaled the meal in front of you despite how weird it felt to ingest such cheap and fattening food. After months of high-class dining, it was more peculiar than one would think. Even something as unfamiliar as eating such a messy meal didn’t bother either one of you after the day you'd had.

“So, you don’t go around and talk to them much?” Seokjin questioned in a light tone of voice, picking his long and slightly curved fingers clean of any crumbs. The man was picturesque in how calm and concentrated he was. You decided that you liked that look of determination on him, even if it was for something so insignificant.

“I do, but I’m not really in the mood right now.” You sighed, resting your face into your palm so that you could ease the tension in your sore neck. You cast your gaze downwards and hoped that you wouldn’t regret your next words.

“Plus, I kind of want to spend most of my time on this trip with you.”

His eyes stared into yours from across the table, unblinking as he was thrown into one of his strange thoughtful silences.

You rushed to elaborate in a panic. “I-I … well I’ve done this trip many times and I thought it’d be nice to get to know each other a little bit more. We haven’t really asked many questions during the past few months, and I already feel so peaceful travelling together that I thought it’d be cool to just spend some time away from all the parties and shit to really relax and talk, you know?”

Cool? Did I really just say it'd be cool if we talked? Fuck you (Y/n).

You took a rickety breath and clasped both your hands together to try and hide your flustered appearance. With pursed lips and a slight cringe from the ranting accompanying your nerves, you searched his gaze with your own to try your best at reading him.

“Yeah, I know. It would make everything easier if we knew more about each other, so I don’t have to make up more lies,” he eventually spoke after clearing his throat quietly.

You thought he would’ve been more uncomfortable, or rather less than willing to take you up on the suggestion, but you were surprised yet again at his almost enthusiastic response. Was he finally letting you see past the high and sturdy walls he’d built up at the beginning of your relationship? If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was coming out of his shell a little as well, but then again it wasn’t as if you knew enough to make that observation in any kind of confidence.

Maybe he's always been more open like this to people he was close with, and you were only just beginning to see this side. Even if that was the case, it made you happy to think that he was starting to trust you enough to change the way he acted. You were content enough to be considered as something close to a friend, at least.

“It’s late. We should head in,” his familiar voice snapped you out of your rampant thoughts, causing your feelings of bewilderment to skyrocket.

I need to keep my shit together!

“Yeah, sorry for spacing out.” You laughed, trying to shrug off the mortification at failing to keep your wits about you. Maybe if he stopped being so oddly charming with his perfect lips and enigmatic eyes, you’d be able to focus a little better.

You made your way to the last motorhome in the line. Seokjin had parked it a little ways from the others, almost as if he’d sensed your need for privacy and solitude. You were somewhat introverted at the best of times, so after a whole day of socialising you really wanted nothing more than to retreat back to your own little space to recuperate.

Had he figured that out, or was it just a lucky guess? Maybe he was just the same…

You followed him into the portable house and weaved yourself around the table and sofa lounges, eventually coming to stop by the comfy looking queen bed at the very back. This was where things would get weird again. You’d never shared a bed before tonight, and the couches weren’t large enough to allow anyone space to sleep either.

“Ah, I guess we don’t have a choice. You don’t mind, do you?” you remarked reluctantly, knowing that you were more than happy to have company in your bed, but he might not feel the same.

“Well what else can I do?” He shrugged with indifference. “I would’ve taken the couch if I could’ve already.”

“Right, sorry I didn’t tell you before we left.”

You sighed, more embarrassment clouding your vision as you hurriedly searched the inside of your suitcase for a flimsy shirt. It was way too hot during the summertime to wear a full set of pyjamas, so you hoped Seokjin wouldn’t feel even more uncomfortable by your choice of clothing.

Better than being naked.

You shuddered with heat at the thought but pushed it all away quickly. This was already bad enough as it was.

“It’s fine, I honestly don’t mind if you don’t,” he grunted while beginning to unbutton his shirt. You swallowed thickly at the sight of his broad chest and collarbone slowly getting revealed the lower he went. That, paired with the way his hair had become messy and rugged after driving and running his hands through it, was a dangerous combination you were enjoying way too much.

“Well, I don’t. Never did." You smiled nervously before moving to the bathroom to get changed.

You knew that sharing a bed with him after so many months was never going to be an easy feat. It was awkward at best, with you trying your best to ignore the thoughts of him being so close - thanks to your fear of doing something unpredictable - and him having no trouble forgetting you were there altogether. It was nothing for him. Somehow, he could just sleep the night away and not think about the presence of other people constantly.

The sound of soft breathing, the occasional movement of a foot or arm, the slight rise of the duvet with every deep inhale, or even the dreamy mumbling slipping past lips every now and again. You envied the peaceful way he drifted off, knowing that living with siblings most likely allowed him to factor these things right out.

For you, they were things that kept your eyes wide open, mind running a million miles a minute.

~

The next morning brought you to the first town on the itinerary. The sleepless night faded away as you parked the large vehicle next to the others, legs already bouncing with excitement at the thought of finally visiting some of your old childhood pastimes.

You all spent the day traipsing through the streets while some of the older family members greeted the shopkeepers and residents heartily. You could feel your heart bursting at the sight of Seokjin looking around the place with wide eyes, obvious amazement lighting up his face as he regarded the interactions of those around him. There was a growing fondness there you never thought you’d see.

One parkland picnic later, and the two of you found yourselves mingling with the crowd. You surprisingly found it easy to talk about your married life together. Even though he was quiet and unsure of how to act, everyone loved Seokjin and found great amusement in teasing and joking around with him. Many times you had to bite your tongue to hold back a snort of laughter. The old uncles and aunties never did hold back their rowdy banter.

“I remember when I was first married, son,” your eldest cousin said and clapped a hand firmly onto Seokjin’s shoulder, “It’s always magical at first, but soon you’ll want to chew your own ear off!”

You all laughed at his sardonic humour. Everyone, even the hopeless romantics, knew that marriage was never supposed to be perfect.

“It can’t be magical the whole time?” Seokjin asked thoughtfully, the tone of his voice light-hearted but the nature of the question way too innocent for your boisterous family to bypass.

Okay, maybe not everyone knew.

You almost choked on your sandwich when the people around you burst into loud laughter, feeling sorry for your husband. He just didn’t know the group of people he was dealing with yet.

The older men clinked their beers together. “Look at this guy, he wants a life-long honeymoon phase!”

“Nah, I think he’s looking for an early grave instead.”

You furrowed your brows and yelled through a smile, “Hey! What do you take me for, a monster?”

They exchanged wide-eyed looks and chuckled again before waving you off and tousling your hair affectionately.

“Be careful or I’ll tell Aunty what you said.” You giggled, trying to fix your messy tresses.

The loud and harmless jesting continued amongst the rest of the group while you turned to see how Seokjin was going with his food. A smile curved your lips again when you spotted the slight crinkle appearing at the corners of his eyes. He was amused, and the way the beaming sunlight streamed down through the tree branches to light up his grinning face was breathtakingly perfect.

His eyes shifted to meet yours suddenly, and you were glad it didn’t cause his expression to change. His gaze, irrevocably beautiful, was so warm and lively. If you could, you would want to see him this happy for the rest of his life.

“Son,” he mouthed quietly after shifting his gaze away from your awestruck scrutiny, “I’m still waiting for my own father to call me that.”

A ruthless stab to your chest. Not only from his words, but rather the lack of emotion he expressed while speaking them.

You didn’t know the kind of relationships he’d had, or how he’d lived his life so far, but trying to find out was like trying to connect with a brick wall. This simple statement about his father had you swallowing back sympathy, and it was upsetting to think that you’d never even once thought to ask him about it.

You wanted – no, you needed him to open up to you.

Quickly sifting through one of the cute picnic baskets led you to find a bundle of sweet packaged snacks. You would do anything to wipe that distantly forlorn look off his face, and universal law stated that candy was sure-fire way to lift anyone’s spirits. You personally loved them, but it was tough to determine if his tastes would match.

“Want a jelly?”

“Wait, you mean-” he started, but cut himself off when you finally fished out a specific packet and let out a small ‘ah!’ of triumph. His eyes shone with recognition, and you became confused at his unexpected reaction.

“I haven’t had these since I was young. They were my favourite, but my mother wanted us to stop eating too many sugary things…” Seokjin revealed, his lips pulling up into a smirk as he recalled his childhood memories.

“Well, you’re on your own now, and I’m not going to stop you. So here.” You chuckled and waited until he’d grabbed a handful of jellies before popping one into your own mouth.

Seokjin shook his head with a huff. He obviously found it stupid how he’d followed the strict rules of his parents for so long, not allowing himself to rebel in the slightest. It had never been an option before, but now here he was – living in a motorhome, eating hot dogs and jellies, basically hitchhiking through old weary towns rather than having his head down working for a big-time business firm.

You watched his eyes trail over you again, almost picking up his phantom of a voice saying, “So this is the life I could have lived.”

It brought a smile to your face as you thought about the way his gaze had lit up and drank everything in with such fervour. His cold and masquerade-like world was changing, he was seeing life from a different perspective, and knowing that you’d played a part in that brought you immense joy.

It was a warm glow of happiness you’d never felt or known before.

Night fell once more. Everyone filtered away to their beds, eyes drooping and bellies full of the various baked goods of the town. It had been an amazing day, and you knew you couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to help Seokjin emerge from his shell.

He seemed to be enjoying the trip for the exact same reasons you always had. Except now, you had another.

Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.

[elliestormfound]

You won’t believe how much mutual pining I fit into this fic

Chapter 2

read this chapter on ao3

Chapter: Prolog, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

———–

Jaskier stood on top of the outer wall of Kaer Morhen, taking in the stunning view of the blue mountains. It was windy and cold and he stood wrapped in a thick woolen cloak. The sight of rain on another mountain peak a few kilometers away while he stood in rays of sunshine fascinated the bard. The dramatic scenery and the rapid changes of the weather were breathtaking and he was still at a loss how to form this beauty into a song. 

Thinking back to the conversation he had with Geralt, the witcher finally asking him after years of joint travel and parting ways for winter, if he wanted to accompany him to Kaer Morhen, made him smile softly. 

If he didn’t know better, he could have sworn that Geralt had been nervous. It had been a usual evening camping out in the woods. Geralt had been sharpening his steel sword with slow, precise movements, gliding the whetstone along the blade. He had not looked up as the questions popped out of him, using uncharacteristically more words than strictly necessary. 

Of course Jaskier had instantly said yes. 

And he had tried to snuff out the guiddy hope that had bubbled up in him unwanted, hope that Geralt may have another reason to invite him - not just to spend the winter with his friend -, but alas - his hope was as hard to kill than a rock troll. And even though he was no witcher he would wrestle this troll for the sake of their friendship.

He inhaled the cold mountain air deeply and slowly let it out again as he let his eyes wander over the ragged mountains.

He was glad to have the white wolf as a friend. 

Nothing more was needed. 

Jaskier had always been curious about the infamous witcher keep, that had not only been the scene to a siege by fanatics and the following massacre only few witchers survived, but was also a huge part of Geralt’s life.

He was not sure why he had always been convinced that humans were not allowed at Kaer Morhen, because he couldn’t recall Geralt ever telling him that. And he never asked because he assumed it to be a touchy subject. And it was at first. 

Geralt had just grunted at his careful question if they ever had guests at Kaer Morhen. But Jaskier occasionally peppered this question casually in their conversations and because Geralt was not prone to lying he eventually told him that there was no rule forbidding guests - human or other kinds. 

In that moment Jaskier had not been sure if he wanted to know the answer to the question, why Geralt had never asked him to spend the winter together. 

But to be honest, he had never asked Geralt either. It had always been an unspoken rule that they would part ways when the nights in autumn got too cold and to run into each other again in spring. And it had never really bothered Jaskier. He had always looked forward to enjoying the luxuries of a civilized town for a few months at a time: warm, soft and dry beds, clean bathhouses and high-class brothels.

But somehow this year has been different. In hindsight it had seemed that both he and Geralt had delayed their yearly separation for longer than usual. Jaskier had debated with himself to ask Geralt to accompany him to Oxenfurt this winter, but knew it was really important for the witcher to retreat to Kaer Morhen and meet up with his brothers. 

And then Geralt finally asked him if he wanted to accompany him to Kear Morhen and warned him in the same breath that winters there were not easy or comfortable. As if to give him an easy out. 

But Jaskier had been giddy with joy and extatic to get the opportunity to get to know a side of his longtime friend that he had never known before. Meeting the other wolf witchers - Geralt’s family, seeing the fortress he grew up in and retreated to in the winters and seeing him staying in one place for more than a couple of days. 

It had been a hell of a journey to get up to the keep. He was used to traveling with Geralt, to walk for days and sleep on the hard ground. But to hike up the mountains was something else. It was painfully more exhausting, even though you got rewarded with the most beautiful views when you paused and just looked back at how much you had already accomplished. 

The first time Jaskier did that he had actual tears in his eyes from a mix of utter exhaustion, the delight that they had already climbed higher than he had thought and the breathtaking beauty of the rugged mountains. Geralt had just stared at him intently, probably rolling his eyes. 

And now he was standing here on top of the world, removed from the bustle of human lifes, royal intrigues and monster attacks. 

He heard someone clear his throat behind him and as he turned around he found Vesemir standing in the doorway, nodding at him.

“Are you enjoying the view?” he asked in his deep voice, not unlike Geralt’s.

“Yes, it’s lovely,” Jaskier said, “breathtaking, isn’t it?”

The older witcher walked over to stand next to him, shoulder to shoulder they watched out over Morhen Valley. 

After a while Vesemir broke the silence, “it is good to have you here, finally.”

Jaskier whipped his head around and couldn’t suppress a smile. “Finally?” he asked.

Vesemir hummed in confirmation and the sound reminded Jaskier more of a bear than a wolf.

“Geralt has been talking about you,” Vesemir said a moment later, “a lot over the years.”

“He has been talking about me?” the bard echoed. Another bear-like humm followed.

Jaskier wasn’t sure what to say or think about that. Before he could sort through the avalanche of thoughts, Vesemir clapped him on the shoulder and left him alone once more, cheeks red not just from the cold wind.

———–

Link to the next chapter on tumblr and ao3

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@jaskierswolf @geraskier-trashh @hailhailsatan @panerato @marvagon @x-anxious @moonysourenza @kaktusbambus @wildonewrites @dapandapod @honeysuckletook 

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[ayyyez]

Could you do hc on Tobirama and s/o (she would be the younger sister of Madara and Izuna) on an arranged marriage to make peace and to make his brother's village dream true? SFW and/or NSFW

a/n: Heeeeeell yeh you can! Alright Tobirama hoes who love Uchiha!Readers come get ya’ll juice! Thanks for the request friendo! (hope it was worth the wait omg I’m finally getting these requests down) sorry these are so damn long I didn’t make it to the nsfw lol next time I promise! warnings: ahh little angst didn’t make it to nsfw 

-Tobirama is entirely indifferent to marriage. For him it’s something to create alliances and project the strength of the village. It makes no difference to him whether you are an Uchiha or not. Low-key will keep an eye on you but other than that it’s much of a muchness for him. 

-Let’s say it’s canon compliant and Tobirama killed Izuna well that makes things complicated but you try your best to no outright hate him. You have seen your fair share of war and it also ripped your family apart. All you have left is Madara and even he is left a broken husk of a man. So you decide to sacrifice your own self for the dream and light you brother once held. You agree to marry Tobirama.

-On some level you hope Tobirama sees things the same way and that he will make an effort to be kind. You knew it wouldn’t bring back your brother but it would make the marriage less insufferable. But Tobirama isn’t that sort of man, he will either say what he thinks or nothing at all. Niceties don’t come naturally to him and it’s foolish to expect them. 

-When the talks for marriage first happen it’s a sit down between Hashirama and Tobirama across from yourself and Madara along with the new Uchiha leader for good measure. You knew he was nothing more than a prop, a gesture of good will to show the Senju that your clan had changed. Hell, if you didn’t have to marry in order to add security then you would be the leader. Fate was certainly laughing in your face. 

-It wasn’t long before Madara blew up at Tobirama and the two were duelling a battle of the wits. Normally, Hashirama would step in to mediate but before he could utter a word you slammed your fist against the table startling everyone. 

‘Might I say a word toward my own marriage proposal?’ You said, not bothering to hold the air of formalities since your brother already broke them. 

‘Of course.’ Hashirama replied. 

-You looked between them. Tobirama looked shocked and honestly it was the first time you had seen much emotion etched on his face. Were it under any other circumstances you would have laughed but you were frustrated. 

‘Whatever the terms you wish you put forward,’ you took a deep breath, ‘I’ll do it. I’ll marry Tobirama Senju.’ 

Quite possibly the most regrettable words to ever come from your mouth but your options were taken from you. 

Madara called your name. ‘You can’t possibly consider actually agreeing to-’

‘I just did.’ You looked around at each other their stunned expressions. ‘If this is what keeps people safe, what keeps peace then I’ll do it. That is why we are here, right?’ 

-And that was how you signed yourself over to a Senju, the clan you were pitted against from infancy. Still it was worth it enough just to rile each of them up and remind them that you were no pawn to be trifled with. If you were to play then you would be a key player. As you should have been as the leader. 

-The ceremony was simple but with a large gathering expected of both an Uchiha and a Senju. But honestly it seemed everyone was enjoying the day more than the actual couple. You noted that there was nothing unusual about that. Marriage even before peacetime always hinged on power and passing on abilities. Your own mother coupled with your father for the strength of the clan.

-It was when you entered your new home, left alone with the man you now called you husband that you realised the reality of the situation. There was no going back now. You laughed to yourself as you looked out the window, realising the ridiculousness of the situation. ‘Sorry, Izuna.’ You whispered as you retreated to the bathroom to bathe. 

-You had become so numb that you barely felt the heat of the bath water against your skin. The steam cloaked around you like a defensive bubble as you scrubbed your skin. Maybe you would wake up and everything would be a dream? No, that wasn’t the cruel world you knew. 

-When you walked into the bedroom Tobirama was sitting at the end of the bed, staring at something on the wall and deep in thought. You didn’t bother speaking to him as you climbed into bed and beneath the covers. It wasn’t a marriage built out of mutual affection so why bother acting like it? You turned away from him and willed sleep to take you.

-Tobirama spent a few moments in the same position before he eventually shut out the light and climbed into bed beside you. He didn’t bother speaking to you either. It was one of the most restless nights for the pair of you and you never knew how much of a void there could be between someone so close beside you. 

-When the morning light shinned in through the window and the situation didn’t dissolve you knew this was your life now. The two of you lying there, on your backs in silence. 

‘I wondered what kind of man you were,’ you began, bluntly, ‘a killer sure but we are all killers.’ You swallowed. ‘What I didn’t know was whether or not you were the sort of man to force someone to do something against their will in order to secure this arrangement.’ 

‘You are not one to be forced and I am not one to force such things when they are not wanted.’ Tobirama said, flatly. ‘So let us leave it at that.’ He climbed out of bed and left the room.

-A smile came to your face. Should you be at least be happy your new husband didn’t have violent delights in that respect? You could hear Izuna mocking you in your head. Kami if he could see you now he would never believe it. With a groan you got out of bed and contented yourself with making breakfast. 

-The days passed by the same way. You and Tobirama spoke no more than a sentence to each other. You filled your days with errands, seeing old clan members and training your abilities. Possessing the sharingan was a precarious thing if you didn’t continue to train it. Sometimes you fantasised about over powering Tobirama in battle. You imagined the shocked look on his face. 

-The days bled into weeks and you were growing bored of life. There was only so much to keep you busy and you were going to lose your mind. That was when you walked by the newly established academy, watching the kids run in the field and an idea struck you. You could pass on your knowledge to the next generation and do something useful besides being someones wife while they ran the village. 

-There at the academy you found your new lifes purpose teaching the children of the new generation. It was challenging but also incredibly rewarding. Knowing these kids weren’t sent off into battle to watch people die was something that kept you going. Something you would fight to keep that way. 

-This new found light gave you hope. Maybe you could help achieve you brothers original dream after all and do Izuna’s memory proud? Perhaps all the of this wasn’t for nothing. 

-The new found joy began to light up your hope in home life as well. You began to converse more with Tobirama. It started with business talk. Enquiring about the academy and sharing your ideas. In turn he gave you his honest opinion, shutting down ideas that wouldn’t work but adding onto those that did. It was almost as though the two of you began respecting each other. 

-Tobirama was not blind to the shift too. He saw this as an opportunity to strengthen your marriage which was always so strained. He made it a point (although he would never tell you or anyone) to set aside time to work on plans for the academy. He would charge you with testing out ideas and plans and trusted your feedback on the matter. 

-He began visiting the academy more, speaking to you more and it wasn’t long before the two of you actually got along. It was nothing deep but it was so much more than it was before. It made you think that this could work. This could be a liveable life. 

-During the nights you noticed the distance between you and Tobirama wasn’t so vast like the empty void it was before. In fact, you could swear that physically he was closer to you as well. You wondered whether it was conscious or not but either way you didn’t mind. 

-When the two of you were home you would spend hours talking about the possibilities for the village. You talked about the children and your hopes for their future. He in turn explained how that could incorporate in everyday life of the village and create more opportunities for people. It was stimulating and it was nice. You felt yourself drawn closer.

-But then the anniversary of Izuna’s death hit you like ice water. You woke up with a feeling that something was wrong and then Madara came to see you. That’s when you remembered and with that came the memory of who killed him. You felt guilty for entertaining the thought of enjoying the company of the man who killed your brother.

-That day you spent with Madara, talking about the past and your family. With that came soul crushing pain but you didn’t cry. You had wasted all your tears years ago. You weren’t even sure you could cry anymore. Just like you could never see Izuna again. 

-That night you got home late. Tobirama inquired to your whereabouts but you ignored him. Once you reached the doorway of the hall he called out to you again. 

‘What are you doing?’

You stopped your hand curling over the frame.

‘It’s the anniversary of Izuna’s death,’ you said without turning back, ‘and I’m going to bathe.’ 

-You couldn’t look at him so you kept walking. He didn’t say anything after that either. After your bath you went to bed and he followed behind. You didn’t talk like you usually did, you didn’t even look at each other. And suddenly the void was back and you felt further away from him than you did in the beginning. It hurt more than you could bear. 

-The two of you grew apart after that. There were no more late night conversations or sharing ideas. He didn’t visit you at the academy anymore. When you came home you could look at him again but you didn’t say anything. 

-Tobirama was entirely aware of the change. He didn’t enjoy it but he wouldn’t accept full responsibility either. You knew he had killed Izuna when you entered the marriage so why was it different now? Deep down he knew why. The circumstances of your feelings for one another had changed substantially. But he would not feel guilty of something he had done in the past. Yes he had killed Izuna but honestly, if he hadn’t then it was likely Izuna would have killed him. They were at war after all. 

-Still, he did not enjoy that that fact was the reason for the shift between the two of you. However he would not move to remedy it either. It just wasn’t in him when he didn’t feel responsible. Well, that and he was stubborn. But perhaps he cared more than he would ever admit. 

-As the weeks moved on you didn’t feel such a heaviness weighing over your heart anymore. You would never truly be over Izuna’s death but you didn’t want that to weigh over your relationship anymore. You wanted it to be light again, liveable. 

-But when you got home you couldn’t bring yourself to say as much. You looked at him intently and when his eyes met yours you held their gaze. But still you couldn’t say the words. He seemed unbothered by this, glancing over at you ever so often through dinner.

-By the time you were in bed you contented yourself by promising to fix the void. And you lied awake thinking everything over, feeling angry, sad and confused all at once. You went through each emotion over and over until something moved next to you and broke your thoughts.

-The next thing you knew Tobirama was pressed against you back, his arms wrapped around you and clinging. At first you held your breath wondering what on earth was going on. But then you realised he was asleep and it made a little more sense. You had heard him roll in his sleep before but he had never clung to you like this. And suddenly all the sadness and anger inside you disappeared and you wanted to just savour this moment. 

-Taking a deep breath you turned in his hold to face him. You could barely see in the dark so you activated your sharingan. Then you saw his expression a lot softer in sleep than it did when he was awake. He looked so different, like the weight of the world no longer sat on his shoulders. And as you sharingan eyes shone through the night you imprinted his face on your mind, making a note to lock it away forever. 

-Then you sighed and closed your eyes willing sleep to take you. And it finally did, allowing you to get the rest you had been without for weeks. 

-In the morning you awoke, keeping your eyes closed as you felt Tobirama stir beside you. You felt him tense, as if he realised the position the two of you were in. He went to move but you reached out to stop him and he tensed again. This was uncharted territory between the two of you.

‘Let’s just stay like this for a little while.’ You mumbled, pressing toward him.

You felt his arms relax a little as they ease back around you.

‘I didn’t know you were a clingy sleeper.’ 

‘It’s not a fact I share easily.’ He grumbled. 

-You smiled, the first real smile in weeks. And then you opened your eyes, blinking them as they focused. In front of you was Tobirama, staring at you curiously but with no other discernible expression. You knew it wanted to ask what had changed between you two, why you were suddenly acting this was but he didn’t. Maybe he didn’t want your wrath to complicate things.

-You sighed. 

‘I’m not ever going to be able to forgive you for Izuna,’ you said, swallowing audibly. ‘But I won’t allow my feelings on the matter get between whatever this is anymore.’ Your eyes met his. ‘Are those terms agreeable?’ 

Tobirama looked at you, studying your expression for a moment. 

‘Yes, that is agreeable.’ He said, softly. 

‘Good.’ You whispered.

-The two of you laid there for a few moments, looking at each other, wondering where the two fo you would go from there. But then you decided that you weren’t the type of person to half heart anything. 

-With another sigh you leant forward, inching ever so closely until your lips touched his. The kiss was light for a moment, testing the waters until you pressed them closer, more firmly, cementing that you wanted to try this. And Tobirama kissed you back, his hands pulling you closer as his mouth moved against yours. And finally you were able to accept your marriage to Tobirama Senju.

[symphonic-scream]

Here's an expanded scene idea for soulmate Julix.

---

In this world you get your soulmate mark when you both "prove" yourself through an action, task, or promise. For many this can be as simple as a well thought out gift to someone you might care about, to a promise to be best friends forever becoming a sign of so much more. There really was no limit to the stories you'd hear of how marks could appear as everyone had their own way of expressing themselves.

Of course for Kim, he found that his prefered proof of love to be in challanges and dares. In his own words "what could be a better sign of love than to throw your whole self into a situation so ridiculous or embarrassing that it'll prove there's nothing you wouldn't do for someone."

Alix, on the other hand, felt that it was a little crazy to just challange random people to dares, or more often, have people give HIM the dares, but given that's how he discovered his bonds with both Ondine and Max, she couldn't really say it'd never work. Maybe that's why on what should have been a relatively stress-free day at the skate park, she was now having to deal with yet another of Kim's "Dare-athons" where he tried to get anyone and everyone to play the biggest games of dare and dare most people had ever seen.

They've been going at it for a while, and while there was a decent sized crowd enjoying the fun, most had already taken a turn a two, Alix herself even joining in if anyone tried directly challanging her. The only one who hadn't, or at the very least the only one Alix bothered noticing, was the tranquil goth teen sitting in the shade of a large black umbrella. Alix would never admit it to anyone, but she never help but notice the one girl most thought faded into the background. It might be the historian in her blood, but she couldn't shake the thought that girls like Juleka were the reason people carved statues.

Shaking herself free of those thoughts, she was glad the heat and sweat would hide the blush speeding across her face. Unfortunately it seemed she didn't free herself from her daydreams quick enough and the ever opertunistic Kim followed her line of sight right to Juleka. She could recognize that look in his eye that oh so perfectly matched the accompanied shit eating grin and like hell was she going to let the big lug, best friend or not, try and drag the goth into his shenanigans. So, she did the only thing she could think of, and beat him to the punch.

When she rushed over to the goth on her board, her only thought was to stop Kim, so she really wasn't prepared for what to do when was actually face to face with the girl. A face that was now looking at her own, crimson irises full of curiosity and Alix could only imagine was amusement.

"what's got you in a hurry to reach my little patch of shade, speedster?" Juleka asked her and it took Alix a moment to remeber how to speak.

"O-oh um , you've probably been watching the dares, and we'll... it looks like Kim noticed you haven't really tried yourself so I thought I'd probably ask you an easy one so Kim drag you into anything insane." Alix replied.

"Sounds like you really are a hero come to rescue me" Juleka chuckled at the shy and awkward energy coming from the normally bold girl. "So what does my rescuer recomend?"

Alix's brain short circuted for a moment as she scrambled for something she ask the goth to try, when the answer came to her the moment she looked down.

"Well... We are in a skate park, how about I teach you the basics on my board?" Alix said.

"Sure, could be fun" Juleka reached out her hand and Alix couldn't help the little jolt she felt touching Juleka's had as she pulled her up.

They spent the better part of an hour together like that. Alix flowed back into her natural rythym as she taught juleka the basics. Alix secretly prided herself on only slightly blushing everytime the two touched. When it felt like Juleka had all the basics down she surprised Alix with a challange of her own.

"it's only fair" Juleka replied to Alix's curiosity. "how about this, since you've been such a good teacher, let's test your lessons out. If I manage to land a trick all on my own, you answer one question of mine."

"What's the question?" Alix couldn't help but ask.

"there's no fun if I just tell you. Besides, there's something I want to test first."

Deeply curious but otherwise seeing now real problem with it Alix accepted the challange. Juleka began slow and steady, putting extra emphasis into the lessons Alix taught her. But then Juleka turned around and with a wink she began to speed up. The wind made her hair flow like a river of obsidian sand and like a gust Juleka flew twoards the ramps and half pipes and to the complete and utter shock to Alix, Juleka began to SHRED. Like a goddess of wheels juleka tore through the park and landed incredible stunts at every opportunity. Alix was stunned as she watched poetry in motion from the girl who would seldom utter a word. She lost track of time as she watched juleka up until the moment she returned.

"What was that?!" Alix shouted in disbelief and excitement.

"You've met Luka right? Bro had a massive skater phase and I learned how to skateboard to spend time with him" Juleka replied.

"that was amazing, but if you already knew how to skate then why didn't you say anything when I was teaching you?"

"couldn't resist the chance to spend some time with you, besides it was a good excuse for you to accept my challange" Juleka took Alix's hand in her own placed a small kiss on the back of it. From there a small glow appeared on the back of both of their hands and an image appeared, a large black unbrela and skateboard made of its shade. Alix couldn't breath as she looked up and saw the gorgeous smile on Juleka's face just radiating pure joy. "I think now is a good time to ask that question."

"O-oh and what's that?" Alix managed to ask as her heart beat like a drum.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

---

Ok so im not sure how good this came out as I think juelka came out a little ooc and there might be some typos from writing this late and on my phone but i hope you enjoy it.

--

THIS IS SO SICK IM SCREAMING I LOVE IT SO MUCH

[sliggoons]

Raihan, hm? How about a Drabble of Raihan and a crush that has an altaria that mega evolves??? And he's like, j e a l o u s

Yesss FINALLY my time to write for raihan has come!! Also, to be honest, I haven’t finished any of the games or watched the show that actually HAS mega evolution in it (YET) so I did a teensy bit of research and hopefully I’m getting all this right lmao

(also I just wanna say that this was the perfect request UwU so thank you! Specific enough that I had something to go off of, but it left plenty of room for creativity, it was so fun to write!)

???? And I can’t remember if the actual battle against Raihan is in the Vault?? Or just the gym mission thingy? Forgive me 

Mega Crush, Raihan x Reader

    Raihan was confused from the moment you set foot into his gym. Well, long before that actually. There had been talk amongst all the gym leaders that there was a particularly strong challenger battling their way through the league. Milo had confirmed this, adding in the details that you were from a far away region and you were older than the typical preteen gym challengers. Nessa learned that you didn’t Dynamax your pokemon, which Piers was over the moon about, he couldn’t wait for your battle. And Kabu had told Raihan about your beautiful, strong Altaria. 

    As soon as he heard that, Raihan was weak in the knees. He could not WAIT to battle you. He had never seen an Altaria in person. So soon after your victory against Kabu, Raihan spent his free time loitering around Hammerlocke, hoping to find you as you passed through on your way to Stow-On-Side. Just to his luck, he did just that. He had watched recordings of your battles with the previous gym leaders after they told him about your Altaria. And he had watched you blow through the battles with ease. You didn’t even need to use your dragon type pokemon in the first two battles. Through this, Raihan was able to recognize you as you cleared the long staircase leading into his city. He followed after you, conveniently ‘bumping into you’ as you were headed into the pokemon center. 

    “Hey, you’re Y/N?, right?” the gym leader asked, grabbing your attention from the mid-day bustle of the city. 

    “Hm?” You turned to look at who had called your name. It couldn’t possibly have been Raihan. You weren’t from Galar, so you didn’t know him as well as the other gym challengers, but you could definitely put name to face, and you knew the status and fame he held in the region. 

    “I’m Raihan!” He greeted, sticking out his hand for you to shake and flashing you an award winning smile. 

    “Uh, yeah. I know. I’m surprised you know who I am?” You said curiously. He had to admit, Raihan’s heart sank a little when he found out you knew who he was. He was hoping he could just meet someone who would get to know him as Raihan, not The Great Raihan, or Gym Leader Raihan, or Dragon Tamer Raihan. Don’t be mistaken, Raihan loved the fame, and adored his fan base, but it’d be nice for someone, especially if they were as cute as you, to have no previous opinion of him. 

    “I saw your match with Kabu! That Altaria is sick!” Raihan’s heart skipped a beat as he saw your face light up. “You know, all the gym leaders are saying you’re the trainer to watch out for. Might even light a fire up under Leon one of these days.” 

    “Oh, for real? Well, I’m flattered then,” you could feel your face flushing red. “I gotta get some of my pokemon into the center, though. You coming?” 

    “Oh, yeah, that’s where I was headed. The whole reason I ran into you,” Raihan laughed, nervously, it starting to dawn on him that this whole situation might come off as slightly… creepy. He was just doing his duty as a gym leader right? Keeping up with all the strong challengers who have a chance at the championship. You walked up to the counter, handing over your pokeballs to Nurse Joy for treatment. 

    “Can I buy you something to drink while we’re here?” Raihan asked you, following you over to a small table and set of chairs. “Maybe some fresh water or lemonade? I take it you just got in from training hard in the Wild Area?”

    “You don’t have to do that. But yeah, it’s a good place to train up! There’s nothing like it back home. Weren’t you here to heal your pokemon too?”

    “Oh! You’re right. I’ll just go, uh, do that then.” That was a big, fat lie. Raihan’s pokemon were perfectly fine and he knew it. In fact he had only left the house with his Duraludon. But Raihan was in too deep now. So he awkwardly shuffled over to the counter, greeting Nurse Joy and handing over his sole pokeball. 

    He stopped by the cafe to get two lemonades before plopping down opposite of you. Within seconds, Nurse Joy came back over with a tray, delivering your healed pokemon to you. She handed Raihan his one pokeball, a confused look on her face.

    “Raihan, your Duraludon was just fine, there was no need for it to be healed.”

    His face turned red, he looked over at you, a questioning look on your face along with a slight smirk. “Oh, uh, really?” He chuckled. “My mistake!” He gave Nurse Joy an innocent smile, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. When Nurse Joy left, he turned back to you. 

    “What’s that all about? Everything okay, Raihan?” You sipped your lemonade, watching him from over the top of your glass. 

    “Yeah, it’s nothing. I’m just really looking forward to our battle!” Except nothing was okay. Raihan had just made a complete and utter fool out of himself, and the way you said his name might just send him into cardiac arrest. He wished Nurse Joy would have just played along. 

    “Oh.” It seems like he took you by surprise. “I’m looking forward to it too. I’m sure you’ll be quite the match.”

    “I’m sure I will be, princess,” Raihan smirked, his confidence slowly coming back.

    The next time you saw Raihan it was at Stow-On-Side Gym. You weren’t even sure it was him. You caught one quick glimpse of a very, very tall man in the commentator’s booth during your battle. Of course, you were secretly hoping it was him, coming to watch your battles. But your logical side knew he was busy, and besides, would he really be that interested anyway?

    You flew through the Stow-On-Side Gym with ease, passed Opal’s tests with flying colors, Circhester started to slow you down a bit, until finally you reached Spikemuth. You had heard Piers didn’t Dynamax his pokemon. You were a bit disappointed, actually. You respected his traditional ways, of course, but you were hoping for an opponent whose strength called for the trick you had been hiding in your sleeve all this time. Your Altaria’s Mega Evolution. 

    You were confident you saw Raihan’s signature hoodie and bright orange headband sticking out of the crowd in Spikemuth like a sore thumb. Was he really coming to watch you battle?

So when you found yourself walking into the Hammerlocke City Gym, Raihan was eager to get to know more about you. What better way to do that than through the long anticipated battle? The media had picked up on you too, anxiously awaiting for the day you faced off against Raihan. As one of the few remaining challengers, you’d be surprised if all of Galar wasn’t familiar with your name by now. 

Raihan’s team was no laughing matter. He had managed to get you down to only one pokemon, your Altaria. But luckily you had done the same and you were facing off against his Duraludon. The gym leader certainly knew how to manipulate the weather, and his unique double battle style had helped him gain the advantage. 

You smirked, knowing you had finally found what you wanted. Mega Evolving your Altaria took a lot of effort, and wore it out, just like Dynamaxing, so you saved it for when it really counted. You had seen Raihan eyeing the Mega Bracelet that hung on your wrist, and you wondered if he recognized it. He had to, right? He was a gym leader after all, but then again the entire Galar region was hyper fixated on the Dynamax phenomenon. 

You watched as Raihan called his Duraludon back, preparing to Gigantamax it. You knew this would be a tough match up. Your Altaria transforms into a dragon and fairy type during mega evolution, so Raihan’s dragon type moves would do nothing. Mega Altaria would be weak to steel type moves, however. You had spent extra time training your Altaria’s speed. You knew that in order to win this match, you’d have to be able to dodge some powerful blows. 

Raihan had never been this exhilarated in his life. Pokemon battles were when he really came to life. He loved the atmosphere in the stadium, the thousands of fans yelling his name, the raw energy pouring from his Gigantamaxed Duraludon. He was so curious to see how this would play out. He had gone to watch every one of your matches after he met you, and you had yet to dynamax your altaria, or any of your pokemon for that matter. At the beginning of the match he saw something glint on your wrist. Not a dynamax band, definitely not, could it be a Mega Bracelet? Soon all his questions would be answered. 

“Ready, princess?” he asked, just loud enough for you alone to hear over the stadium, a wild smile on his face as his Gigantamaxed Duraludon loomed behind him, dwarfing your Altaria. 

The entire stadium fell silent as you Mega Evolved your Altaria. This was a very, very rare occurrence in the Galar region. Most of the spectators were witnessing this for the first time. Raihan was among them. 

The color drained from his face. A MEGA ALTARIA? He knew your Altaria’s flying type moves would barely harm his Duraludon, but this was something very unexpected. He had learned somewhere that some pokemon switch types when they Mega Evolve. What type your Altaria switched to was a mystery. 

Raihan quickly gained his composure, even though his heart was beating a million times a minute. You were ogling at the crowd, flattered by their insane interest in your pokemon, and Mega Altaria seemed to be enjoying it too. Your opponent took this chance to fire off his first shot, Max Wyrmwind, a dragon type move. He stood there stunned as Altaria remained unaffected.

Unfortunately, neither dragon nor fairy moves would work great against Duraludon’s steel and dragon type, but you did your research. You had been helping your Altaria perfect it’s Fire Blast over the last week. You were surprised to learn that Altaria could learn the fire type move when you found the TM in a dusty old shop in Motostoke, but glad it could come in handy. Steel types were hard to beat. 

Mega Altaria immediately retaliated with Fire Blast, and you could tell how effective it was against Duraludon. Raihan looked even more shocked as he gritted his teeth, dug in his heels, and told Duraludon to use Max Steelspike. Your Altaria just barely missed the hit, moving out of range before you even began to shout. 

“Great dodge! You can do this!” You cheered on your Altaria. It seemed like it was your lucky day, because one more powerful Fire Blast fainted Duraludon, sending it shrinking down to normal size, and back into Raihan’s pokeball. 

You met the gym leader in the middle of the pitch where he gave you a hearty handshake. “Well met, Y/N! What a stunning battle. It seems I might have gotten a bit too cocky with my team, huh? And who knew, that was Mega Evolution, wasn’t it?”

“It was! You definitely presented quite the challenge, I just had to do some special training before I came.”

“Well, congratulations, princess. You beat the Great Raihan,” He handed you the Dragon Badge, a huge smirk on his face. “You get the honor of going through the Finals now! I’ll be looking forward to our next battle, facing off for the chance to take down Leon. Though I s’pose I’ll have to find a way to beat that Altaria, huh?” You thanked Raihan before being ushered off the pitch, a few reporters waiting to greet you and ask about the battle. 

After all the chaos subsided, you were surprised to see Raihan jogging over to you as you left the gym. “I thought you might want this,” Raihan gave you the dragon type TM, as well as the dragon type gym uniform. “I just wanted to say, that Mega Altaria is super cool! Way cooler than I wanted to admit out on the pitch,” He chuckled, nervously. 

“What, is the Great Raihan scared of looking like a total nerd in front of his fans?” you teased.

“Oh, shut up. It just wasn’t a good time. Besides, I’m getting to talk to you again now, aren’t I? How about I take you out to dinner to celebrate your victory?” Raihan winked, taking your hand to lead you to his favorite restaurant.

[eleven-times-lively]

The Twins - Part 1

In which Fred and reader welcome their new bundles of joy into the world.💕 Masterpost

Summary: The first children of Fred and reader are born as the couple beings their adventures in parenting and the first real trial of marriage. With a bit of angst IM SORRY. Word Count: 6845 oops Note: So I kinda forgot I had to do this lol. I wrote this at 1am on Friday cause I had two history essays due that I procrastinated hehehe.

You found him in the kitchen and wrapped your arms around him from behind. “What’s this for, love?” He giggled as he turned to face you. You cupped his face in your hands and looked him right in the eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

The tears quickly began to well in his eyes, his emotions processing before his thoughts. “You’re, pr-”

“Yes, Freddie! Pregnant! We’re going to be parents!” He picked you up into the air like you were no more than a feather. Embracing you in the tightest hug he ever had he nuzzled into your neck. 

“How do you know!? How long have you known? How far along are you?! Did you tell anyone else before me? This is amazing! Are you okay?” The amount of questions--both spoken and underlying--that he was throwing at you was unreal.

“I’ve been vomiting, I’m two weeks late, and yes it is amazing!!!” You pulled him into a deep kiss as you celebrated together.

“We need to tell everyone!”

“Woahhh… slow your roll, Weasley. I think I should head to the doctor first. And besides, you aren’t supposed to tell anyone for a few months in case something… happens.” His face contorted a bit at the last part. He had just found out about the little bean inside of you and he already couldn’t bear the thought of something bad happening. “Here, sit down. Can I get you anything?”

You let out a light chuckle. “Fred I’m not diseased. I can’t be more than a month pregnant, it’s almost as if I’m not at all.”

“I knowww,” he groaned, “but you have our baby in there, and I need to protect you at all costs.”

You blushed at his words. “A cup of tea wouldn’t hurt I suppose.”

***

Three days later you and Fred were seated in the doctor's office, practically vibrating with nerves and excitement. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Weasley! Nice to meet you! I’m Dr. Bloom. Congratulations on the news!” Dr. Bloom was the peppiest woman you’d ever met. She couldn’t have been more than five foot two and her dusty brown curls bobbed about the room along with her. “Now, when did you find out?”

You sat up a bit straighter, matching her warm smile. “About three weeks ago I missed my period, and I’ve been dizzy and nauseous ever since… Although I just put the pieces together a few days ago,” you added with a chuckle.

“Great! So you could be about a month along already! How exciting!” She grinned at you and Fred, seemingly more excited for the baby than you two were. “Now normally we would wait until about seven weeks to do an ultrasound, but because we aren’t entirely sure how far along you are we may as well do one today. Mrs. Weasley if you’d please hop up here and just life your shirt a bit.”

You stood and did as she asked, and Fred gripped your hand once you were settled. 

“Now this may be a bit chilly!” she remarked as she began. Her gleeful face quickly contorted into a cross between confusion and concern. You could practically hear Fred’s heart sink as you both feared the worst. “Mrs. Weasley, how far along did you saw you were?”

“Well I missed my period about three weeks ago, but we did skip protection at the beginning of… last… month…” you’re words trailed off as you realised.

“How fun! Mr. and Mrs. Weasley I’d estimate that you are about six weeks along! Good thing I did an ultrasound, it’s the perfect time!” You and Fred grinned at each other with all of the passion in the universe.

“Could we um… is it too soon to see the baby?” He asked sheepishly.

“Of course not, Mr. Weasley!” She grinned up at Fred… very far up. “Here’s the little bean!” She turned the monitor and your heart melted.

“They’re beautiful,” Fred sighed, the tears welling up in his eyes. “Y/n, love, that’s our baby.” Now you were crying.

“Oh… wait.” Dr. Bloom piped up, except she didn’t sound even the least bit concerned. She turned the monitor back to herself as she searched the screen. 

“Doctor?” Fred questioned, a hint of fear pricking at his words.

She turned back to you, practically jumping out of her seat. “Mr. and Mrs. Weasley you are having twins!!” She practically shrieked as she turned the monitor back to you and Fred. “See? There’s one and there’s the other! Now, it’s too early to tell the gender but you do have two separate amniotic sacs so they could both be the same or you could get a boy and a girl!!”

You and Fred looked at each other once more before wrapping in a tight embrace. “Twins!” You both exclaimed in unison.

“Twins!” Dr. Bloom chimed back. “Twins are quite rare at your age, Mrs. Weasley. Do they run in either family?”

“I have a twin brother,” Fred replied, sounding quite proud of himself. “I can’t wait to tell Georgie!” he whispered to you.

“How fun! Aren’t genetics so interesting!?” She once again grinned up at both of you, both now standing. “Now I should mention that this immediately makes the pregnancy high risk.” Even while delivering somewhat concerning news, she still sounded chipper. “You’ll have to have more ultrasounds, you’ll get a lot bigger, and there is a chance you’ll have to go on bedrest for the last few weeks or you’ll have to deliver early. However, it is a good thing that you two are so young because that reduces all of these risks by a lot!” There were smiles around the room as she handed you the printed picture of the sonogram. “Oh! I almost forgot! Your due date is around early January, of course expect mid to late December since twins are usually born around 36 weeks rather than 38 to 40.” You and Fred thanked her as you headed out of the office.

*** Two months later...early July...14 weeks pregnant.

“Ugh! I look like a whale!” You cried out as you tried to tug your dress on. “Whyyy twins!? I’m barely four months but I look huge already!”

“Nonsense!” Fred piped up from behind you, peering in from the doorway. 

“Honestly I can’t believe I didn’t know until six bloody weeks! I was already showing then I just thought I got fat!”

“Nonsense!” He repeated. “You are bloody stunning, love.” He walked over to you and placed a kiss to your shoulder before crouching down and placing both hands on your belly. “No matter what you look like, you’ll always be gorgeous in my eyes.” He placed a kiss to your belly before standing up again and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Yeah you say that now, but wait until after I have these beans and I’m all saggy,” you chuckled, a tear pricking at your eyes at your true thoughts behind the joke.

“Still beautiful,” Fred kissed you again, laughing. Then he noticed the tear rolling down your face. “Love, what is it! For real, tell me.”

“I’m massive! And these stretch marks! I mean seriously, why do these have to be a thing?! You’re gonna see me after I have our babies and question why we even got pregnant in the first place.

“Y/n! Stoppit, please. These stretch marks are a sign of power and strength. What you’re doing is a bloody amazing thing, especially since you’re doing twice the work. You are the strongest, most fearless woman I know, and no matter what you look like, that won’t change. I can’t stand to see you talk about yourself like that,” he spoke softly, running his hands through your hair as he went. “I’m not walking away until you say that you love yourself no matter how you look. And you have to mean it.” He smiled down at you as he moved behind you to look at you in the mirror.

“I know you love me, Freddie. Thank you. These changes are just...hard,” you sighed a bit as you spoke. “But I love myself, and my body, and all of the amazing things I’m doing right now.” You smiled at him in the mirror. “Happy now?” There was humour in your tone but he could tell you meant what you had said.

“Very.” He kissed the top of your head before he spoke. “Now, we have a busy day. I told mum to gather everyone at the Burrow to share the news, although of course I didn’t tell her that bit. So we are heading there, then we have to take the photos to send out the announcements to everyone else, and then we have our visit with Dr. Bloom later.”

“I’m exhausted thinking about doing all of that,” you added with a laugh. “Can you believe it’s already our third visit? And we get to find out the genders today!” You added with a smile before trailing off, “Of course, only if you want to.”

“I’d love to find out what you’ve got in there, love,” he laughed at his remark, “But only if you do. And I suppose it doesn’t matter all that much in the end, does it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s all up to them anyway. Boy, girl, somewhere in between, maybe it’ll change. I don’t know, I just want them to be happy and be who they are.” You almost burst into tears at his words.

“I love you, Fred. And our babies.”

“Love you, too.” He gave you a kiss as you both headed out of the bedroom door to apparate to the Burrow.

***

You and Fred tried your best to hide the bump as you came up the path to the front door, but of course everyone noticed as soon as you stepped inside and you were met with a barrage of excited comments.

“Fred Weasley I haven’t seen you in mo-, Y/n you’re pregnant!!” Molly shouted.

“Oi! Look at you, y/n!” Ron and Harry said in unison, “Congratulations!” Ginny and Hermione followed.

“Well would you look at that,” Bill uttered in surprise, “my baby brother’s going to have a baby of his own!” You and Fred exchanged knowing glances, wondering if you should tell them the extra surprise just yet.

“And you didn’t even tell me, your own twin brother!” George scoffed, sounding fake annoyed. “Congratulations, mate!” he said as he patted Fred on the shoulder, “and y/n you’re looking radiant as ever.” You just rolled your eyes and laughed.

“Actually…” Fred began, “we have an extra surprise.” This was met with puzzled looks all around. “Georgie, I guess twins run in the family cause we’re having our own!” This only welcomed another wave of excited shouts from the group.

“Twins!” Fred and Geroge exclaimed in unison, sharing the most excited faces you’d seen in a while.

“How wonderful!” Molly exclaimed, lightly touching your belly, “how far along, y/n? Do you know the genders yet?”

“Fourteen weeks, and we find out today!”

“Fourteen weeks!” George gawked, “Happy birthday to you Freddie…” Fred just rolled his eyes at his brother.

“Fourteen weeks and you’re already huge!” Ron piped up, earning a slap from Molly and Fred. “Heavens no I didn’t mean it like that! I just would’ve thought you were a bit farther along. My apologies, y/n. You look amazing.”

“It’s fine, Ron, I know,” you said, genuinely meaning it, “you get a bit bigger with two babies.” you laughed.

You all sat and talked for a few hours. Discussing everything from how you found out, when you told Fred, and how you felt about it. You noticed it was nearly time for your appointment, so you and Fred rose before saying goodbye to the group and apparating away.

***

“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, good to see you again!” Dr. Bloom said, chipper as ever. You and Fred looked down at her, smiling. “Y/n, you know what to do, dear. Will you two be finding out the genders today?”

You and Fred looked at each other expectantly before pronouncing a resounding “Yes!” in unison.

“Fantastic,” Dr. Bloom laughed as she got started. “Alright Mrs. Weasley, the babies look amazing, perfectly healthy and the size we’d expect for fourteen weeks.” She smiled at you and Fred as she spoke. “Are we ready to have a look?” You and Fred nodded and grinned. “Alrighty, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, you are having girls!”

“They’re both girls?!” Fred exclaimed, both stunned and overjoyed.

“Yes! Congratulations!”

You and Fred embraced, both crying.

*** Three months later… end of September… 26 weeks pregnant

“Twelve weeks to go, love,” Fred said as he rubbed your belly, “can you believe it?”

“I certainly cannot. But I can believe that I wanna have these babies and be done with pregnancy,” you groaned. “I’m so excited to meet our beautiful baby girls, Freddie.”

“Me too, y/n. I’d never imagine you’d be so eager to give birth. I mean you look radiant and don’t all women just love being pregnant?” Fred muttered as the two of you were cuddled on the couch.

“Are you serious?” You asked, looking down at him.

“What?”

“I mean look at me!,” you exclaimed as you stood, looking at his seated figure on the couch. “I’m absolutely massive and I still have three months to go! I waddle when I walk, I can barely go upstairs without having to take a break at the top, my ankles and back hurt constantly because I’ve already gained thirty pounds and I can barely keep anything but toast down!” you continued, practically yelling, “I mean, how in the world could I be happy right now!”

“Cause you’re carrying our children…” Fred said softly, standing up and resting his hands on your belly. “Our daughters are in there, y/n.”

“I know that, Fred,” you sighed, “and I can’t wait to meet them. I’d just rather be done with this pregnancy. It’s been horrible! Does everyone feel like this?”

“I mean I know you’re extra hormonal but I think you’re overreacting just a bit, love.” wrong answer, Weasley.

“Excuse me?!” You shouted, taking a step back from Fred. “You try gaining this much weight, carrying TWO children,and being in constant pain!” You were yelling now.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry, I- I don’t know where that came from…”

“Yeah? Well you said it so there has to be some truth behind it, Fred. This is my pregnancy, not yours. I’m allowed to feel however I want right now and you can’t say a damn thing about it! At least make an effort to understand what I’m feeling.” You walked away and out into the gardens before he could respond.

Fred came outside to find you about thirty minutes later, wanting to give you some time to cool down. He found you lounged on the chair in the garden, a tear rolling down your cheek. “Y/n? Love, I-”

“I’m sorry, Fred.”

“What? Why? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” he nearly whispered as he crouched down next to you and wiped the tear from your cheek.

“I exploded on you for no reason. I hate yelling, especially when it’s at you, especially when I have our daughters in me. I feel bad.”

“Love you absolutely had a reason to be upset, I made a horrible comment cause I wasn’t thinking. I’m so, so sorry, y/n. What you are going through is a massive change, and you’re right, I can’t even begin to comprehend what it’s like. It’s your body, your emotions, your experience and I stepped on that. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I love you so much, Freddie. And you’ve been absolutely amazing throughout these past six months. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband.”

“I love you, y/n, very much and I hope you know that.”

You slowly and painstakingly rose to your feet before taking his hand and heading inside.

*** Three months later… Christmas Eve… 39 weeks pregnant

“Fred!” you shouted from your bedroom at your husband. He was busy getting the gifts together so the two of you could head to the Burrow for the Christmas festivities. You were huge, tired, and pretty miserable given that you were now a week past your due date of December 17.

“What?!” Fred called out when he reached the bedroom having sprinted upstairs. He’d been on edge ever since your due date and every time you yell his name he thinks this is it, I’m going to meet my daughters. “Is everything okay? Is it time!?”

“No, Freddie,” you said slightly chuckling with an apologetic look on your face. “I just wanted to show you my Christmas Eve outfit.” You looked extremely festive in your red sweater, leggings (you had chosen jeans just ditched them for comfort), and little booties, which all came together with the little Santa hat atop your head.

“You look amazing, love. Ready to go?”

“Absolutely!” Fred went downstairs and came back up with the gifts and from the bedroom floor he grabbed your bags to stay a few nights at the Burrow. You didn’t even have the energy to apparate yourself, let alone go downstairs to do it.

Moments later you and Fred stood in the chilly air outside the Burrow. He quickly ushered you inside while struggling to balance the three bags he was holding.

“Freddie! Y/n!” Molly called out. “Here y/n, please sit,” she offered out the stop on the couch she was just in. You sat down rather fast for your condition, grateful to be off your feet. Molly took the bag of gifts from Fred as he went upstairs to put your bags in his old bedroom, which you’d reluctantly have to share with George and Angelina. “So how are you, darling? The kids are all outside gathering more wood for a fire, and probably getting into trouble,” she chuckled, “Can I get you anything?”

“Oh no, I’m perfectly fine thank you Molly.” She seemed satisfied as she hurried away to call everyone else in from the snowy backyard. The once quiet living room where just you and Arthur, who was asleep, sat quickly filled with Weasleys and their companions.

“Y/n! So great to see you, love,” Ginny smiled warmly at you.

“No babies yet?” Harry asked.

“Unfortunately not,” you chuckled. You answered other questions from the many Weasleys as you greeted them all. Fred then came running down the stairs when he heard everyone.

“Georgie!” he shouted, leaping into his brother’s arms.

“Well hello, Freddie!” he laughed as he hugged his brother. Everyone found various seats around the living room as they asked you more and Fred more questions.

“When is your due date, y/n?” Hermione asked.

“Well it was December 17, but as you can see we’ve since exceeded that.”

“Do you know the genders? If so, why haven’t you told me, er- us?” George questioned.

“We do know, and all in due time, brother.” Fred laughed.

“Are you nervous? Scared?” Charlie asked as Bill shot him a look.

“Extremely,” you and Fred said in unison, exchanging glances. “I’m just so scared I’ll do something wrong, you know?” Fred continued, “Like what if I’m not a good father and I mess them up somehow?” he asked, voice shaky.

“Freddie,” you said softly as Molly spoke up.

“Fred, honey, you’ll do great! Your father and I have surely raised you right and you’re a bloody amazing person, dear. You’ll be one of the best fathers out there!” This was met with affirming nods and ‘mhmm’ from around the room. Seemingly calmed down, Fred took a deep breath as Fleur spoke up.

“Do you have any names in mind?”

“A couple,” you responded, “we definitely want them to have some sentimental or family value to them.”

“Little George Weasley Junior!” George exclaimed. “Or Georgina,” he quickly added.

“They aren’t your kids, you git,” Fred laughed. “Perhaps their middle names could be Molly and Ginevra.” Fred quickly realised his slip, earning a death glare from you as he turned pale as a ghost. He quickly corrected himself, “Or maybe even William, or Percy, or Charles, or… uh… um George, or Ronald, or even Arthur.” He was rambling and it was obvious he was only trying to cover up.

“Y/n Weasley do you have two baby girls in there?” Molly asked, grinning.

“Yes I do! But they aren’t identical,” you said proudly. “We were hoping to announce it tomorrow but someone can’t keep his mouth shut,” you laughed. You and Fred were met with more congratulations and excited sentiments, and Ginny looked like she was about to explode.

“Two baby girls!” she exclaimed, “Harry, we may have to have our own soon!” Harry just froze in his spot and paled.

After many hours of conversation between everyone, it was getting late.

“Alright, kids,” Molly spoke up, “bedtime.”

“But Mummm,” George whined, “ we aren’t children anymore.”

“Then why are you whining like one George Weasley?” Everyone snickered as George turned red. Everyone retreated upstairs to their childhood bedrooms.

“You know, Georgie, sharing a room was great when we were kids but now we’re adults with wives and it’s rather unfortunate.” Fred said to his brother.

“I think it’s quite fun,” George responded, “like one last sleepover before you and y/n are boring adults with kids.”

“Hey now Georgie,” you chimed in, “you seemed awfully excited about these babies a moment ago.”

“Well of course I am, y/n! I can’t wait to meet my little nieces, but I will miss my brother.”

“Oh you wish I’d leave you alone, Georgie,” Fred laughed. 

After getting organized and settled you all climbed into your respective beds. At least they weren’t too close to each other. It was quite difficult to squeeze into the twin sized bed with yourself, Fred, and the baby bump. You eventually made it work and found yourselves cuddled closer than ever, though neither of you seemed to mind.

***

You and Fred woke up Christmas morning to an empty room and the smell of breakfast creeping up the stairs. 

“Morning, love,” Fred whispered sleepily. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, love,” you said as you kissed him. He helped you out of bed before the two of you got ready for the day. You and Fred went downstairs and were met with warm smiles from the Weasleys.

“Morning you two!” Molly smiled at you from the kitchen, “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Molly, and everyone else of course!”

After breakfast everyone found a place in the livingroom and around the tree, elated to receive their Weasley jumpers. As she was passing them around Molly whispered only to you, “I made you one a bit bigger. It’s not for pregnancy cause I figured you’d have the babies by now, but I figured it’ll be nice right after you have them.”

You felt a tear prick at your eye, “thank you, Molly.”

“Of course, dear,” she said, then continued at a normal volume, “I was going to knit some for the babies but we don’t know their names yet! As soon as they’re born I’ll get to work!”

Gifts were passed out between couples, in-laws, and siblings as laughs and smiles were traded around the room. You were about to give Fred his gift when you felt that dreaded pain in your lower back and abdomen. You stopped mid-movement to clutch your stomach, clearly in pain.

“Y/n?” he asked. Between your noises in pain and his questioning, you had the attention of everyone in the room and quickly felt yourself turn red. “Is this what I think it is?” 

“Yeah, I think it was,” you responded once the contraction subsided.

“Merlin!” Hermione gasped, and Fred only turned stark white and didn’t know what to do.

“Is it time?” Ginny asked, sounding more than a bit concerned. Her voice matched the face of everyone else in the room.

“No, I don’t think so. That’s the first contraction I’ve ever had. It’s either my body giving me a little ‘preparation’ one or this is early labour.” Fred winced at ‘labour’.

“Could it be false contractions?” Molly asked, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t think so. Dr. Bloom said that at this far along any contractions are probably real. She also said that I wouldn’t be able to talk through them, which I couldn’t, and that they’d last at least forty-five seconds. Was anyone timing that, by chance?” you chuckled, expecting the answer to be no.

“Actually, yes,” Hermione spoke up, “fifty-two seconds precisely.”

“Do… do we need to go to the hospital?” Fred asked, finally out of his daze and finally able to speak. 

“No, dear,” you and Molly both said. You took a deep breath before continuing, “Dr. Bloom said early labour is confirmed when you have at least two an hour that are forty-five to sixty-five seconds long. And to notify her and get to the hospital when they are five minutes apart and at least two minutes long, or whenever my water breaks.” Fred winced again at that. “There’s still a chance that could’ve just been a… warning contraction,” you said looking around the room, “Even if this is labour, can we please go about the day normally? I’d like to enjoy Christmas.”

“Of course, love,” Molly said, “but you’re going to the hospital as soon as it’s time, Christmas or not.”

About forty minutes later, you had another contraction. You were in the kitchen talking to Bill as he was washing up dishes from breakfast. 

“So have you and Fred gotten the nursery set up? I’d sure hope so considering you’re in labour,” he chuckled.

“Well I may not be in la-” you groaned in pain as the second contraction hit.

“Y/n? Is it-” You could only nod your head in response.

“Well I guess I’m in labour,” you chuckled.

“Forty-nine seconds,” he told you, and you were grateful he had counted. You thanked him and walked off to find Fred after assuring him you were completely fine.

Bill finished up and everyone was in the living room. You came back downstairs to share the news. “Looks like I’m officially in labour, everyone!” You were met with cheers, everyone knew it would be soon considering you were overdue.

As the day went on you kept having contractions, and it was like the world would stop spinning whenever one would hit you. Whoever you were in the room with would stop whatever they were doing, count the time for you, and not resume their actions until triple-checking that you were okay. You had also been keeping track of the minutes between contractions, holding steady at about thirty-five. You and Fred went to bed early that night as you were so exhausted from the contractions. You could barely sleep as the contractions kept coming. You’d hoped that they would just hurry up and get you into active labour, but they stayed at no less than thirty-three minutes apart.

Another contraction woke you up the next morning after what couldn’t have been more than an hour of sleep. You just stared at the ceiling, uncomfortable until the contraction passed. Fifty-six seconds. You assumed it was rather early as Fred, George, and Angelina were still asleep. You wandered downstairs, expecting mostly everyone to be awake, thinking it was a normal hour knowing the twins always sleep in. Instead you were welcomed by early morning darkness, save for Percy and his small table lamp. 

“It’s barely even six, what’re you doing up?”

“Barely slept, didn’t realize how early it was.” He shrugged and put his book down for you. The third-born Weasley was quite a unique being. Priding himself on his neatness, intelligence, and punctuality, he was already dressed in his daily suit. Come to think of it, you weren’t sure you’d ever seen him in anything other than a suit.

“Still only a half hour apart?” he asked as he headed to the kitchen.

“Unfortunately,” you sighed, “twenty hours now, Percy.” He sighed in content as he handed you a mug of tea, which you then thanked him for.

“What do they feel like? Is it terribly painful?”

“Eh, I wouldn’t say painful. It’s more like pressure and squeezing. I’m sure they’ll hurt more in active labour.” And as you finished your sentence a contraction hit you.

“Merlin,” Percy said when it was over, “that was sixty-one seconds, y/n.”

“That’s the longest one yet,” you said, looking slightly concerned, “and I had one when I woke up, which couldn’t have been more than twenty-five minutes ago.”

“Well I guess things are finally speeding up, eh?” You smiled at him as you sipped your tea. You had always taken a liking to Percy. Sure he was nearly two years older than you, but you had always had the most in common. You can recall all of the late night conversations you’d shared in the Hogwarts library when you and Fred had just started dating.

*** 

It was around four that afternoon and your labour was finally starting to move along. You were just so happy to be almost done with pregnancy that it was like a little celebration everytime you had a contraction, although they were getting more painful. You were out in the garden with Fleur when another one hit.

“Exactly! So these rose-” you froze in pain, the worst it had been yet. You could see Fleur counting silently, her lips moving and eyes darting around in concentration. When it was over you let out a tired yet excited sigh. “How long?” you asked eagerly.

“Seventy seconds, mademoiselle!” you had confided in Fleur about your struggles and she was now just as relieved as you were. “How long since the last?”

“Fifteen minutes!” You practically cheered. You had been in labour for thirty hours now, and not even active labour yet, and you were over it. 

The day went on and the contractions got closer and closer together, but of course more and more painful. By eight that night they were nine minutes apart and Molly made you sit on the couch, not allowing you to get up. “I know it’s not time to go yet, but you need your rest, y/n,” she said, “you have a lot of work ahead of you. Let me get you some tea, love.” She gave you a sympathetic smile before walking away. 

Not ten seconds later you groaned loudly in pain as another contraction hit you. Luckily Ron had been in the living room and was crouching at your side in an instant. You whimpered as the pain took over, just wanting it to end. The contraction finally subsided as Ron was running his hand up and down your leg. “Eighty-two seconds now, y/n. Almost there!” He gave his lopsided smile before standing up. “That one seemed bad, are you okay?”

“That one was pretty bad, but I’m fine. Thank you , Ron.” He smiled again before returning to his seat. Molly had been in the doorway and was smiling proudly at her son. She handed you your mug of tea.

“Let me go fetch Fred, love. He’s been outside with Georgie shoveling snow but I’m sure you’d rather have him with you.” She walked off before you could thank her or respond.

Moments later Fred joined you on the couch. Laying back and settling you between his legs so he could place his hands on your belly. His warmth enveloped you and would surely be comforting with the next contraction. “Hi, love,” he whispered, “how are you?”

“Miserable, Freddie,” you answered honestly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he kissed your head. A few minutes later another contraction hit and you tensed against Fred. He gently rubbed your belly and whispered in your ear, helping you through it.

“Eighty-five seconds,” Ron piped up. “Getting closer!”

You smiled at him, silently thanking him. “I think I just want to go to bed now.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, dear,” Molly said, “you’re getting very close and if your water breaks while you're asleep you may not notice.”

“I probably won’t be doing much sleep, but I know I shouldn’t go up.”

“Just relax, darling,” Fred whispered, “I’m right here, you’ll be okay.”

It was now ten thirty, and your contractions were now just under seven minutes apart and very very painful. A particularly bad one hit you as you let out a small scream, you were breathing heavy when it was over. The entire group was in the living room, practically watching your every move.

“Just shy of two minutes, y/n.” Ginny said.

“Thank you,” you said. “You can all go to bed,” you addressed the group, “it’s late.”

“Nonsense!” George said, “We aren’t sleeping until you have those babies.” Everyone nodded and agreed with him.

“I think it’s time to head to the hospital, love,” Fred said.”

“No, Fred,” you replied, a little more sternly than you had intended. “They aren’t five minutes apart yet and they aren’t two minutes long.”

“Love, you’re in a lot of pain and the contractions are barely seven minutes apart any more. That last one was three seconds shy of two minutes.”

“I said no, Fred. I will when they get to six minutes, okay?” He just sighed and placed another kiss on your head.

An hour went by and you were seemingly stuck at seven minutes apart. The pain wasn’t any worse or any better, it was as if you were stuck in labour limbo. You’d been in labour for thirty eight hours now. Various Weasleys had drifted in and out of sleep, but everyone remained relatively alert and they all were at attention when a contraction hit. And after a few more minutes, one did. You let out a louder cry as this one was particularly bad.

“Merlin, that was only six minutes since the last one!” Charlie said, realising what this meant. “Two minutes and two seconds.”

“Love, can we please go now?” Fred asked. “You promised we would when they were six minutes apart.”

“Just a few more contractions, Freddie. They may not stay that close, it could go back up.” Fred only groaned.

“Y/n,” Molly began, “you know I love you but that’s not usually how that works. Speaking from experience, you know I have done this a few times, I think you should go.”

“I don’t want to…” you muttered quietly, but mostly everyone still heard due to the night time silence.

“What’s that, love?” Fred asked.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Well I know you don’t just yet, we can wait a little bit if you’d really like.”

“No, Fred, I don’t want to go at all.”

“Pardon? I don’t think mum would like it very much if you had our babies on her couch.”

“I scared Fred,” you whimpered, holding back tears which inevitably came down. Everyone in the room was looking at you with either concern, sympathy, or both. “I can’t do this… I can’t do this…” you were fully crying now.

“Love, what do you mean? Of course you can do this. You’ve been carrying our babies for nearly ten months now. You’re the strongest woman I know, you can do anything.”

“I know, I’m just scared that something bad is going to happen.” Molly crouched down next to you when she heard that.

“Y/n, I was bloody terrified the first time. We were so young just like you and Fred were. I had all of the same feelings, and believe it or not they all came back again with the twins even though I’d done it three times before. I’ll be honest, having a baby isn’t easy, especially when you do it twice in one day, but I know how strong you are and I know you can do this.” She took your hand in hers and smiled at you. “So would you like to go to the hospital now, love?”

Everyone in the room looked at you expectantly awaiting your answer. You could hear the collective sigh of relief when you nodded your head. The house was quickly alive in an instant. Molly helped you to your feet, everyone put on their winter jackets, Fred called Dr. Blom, and George grabbed the hospital bags. In an instant you had all apparated away to the hospital where you were quickly ushered into a room. The nurse had gotten you situated and into the bed as the Weasley family removed their coats and hats as they found places to sit or stand around the room. Your contractions were four minutes apart now and your water had broken. Fred and George stood on either side of you, squeezing your hands and helping you through each contraction however you needed. Dr. Bloom burst into the room a few minutes later, looking rather peppy for it being midnight, as she began to ask you all the standard questions. You had started to answer, but Fred took over when another contraction hit. Dr. Bloom estimated you had about twenty more minutes to go. Your contractions were now two minutes apart and lasted nearly three minutes. You were showered with words of encouragement from all around the room and George and Fred kept your hair out of your face and rubbed your shoulders. Just as Dr. Bloom has estimated, twenty minutes later she declared that you were ready. “Alrighty! Everyone except the father out!”, a nurse declared as the room burst into a flurry of activity.

“You heard her, love,” Fred began, “out you go.”

You wanted to laugh at his joke but another contraction came over you. “Alright Mrs. Weasley,” Dr. Bloom said, “you can start pushing now!”

About ten minutes of horrible pain later, Dr. Bloom announced, “here’s the first baby, born 12:34 am on December 27, 2002!”

You and Fred both began to cry as the screaming baby was placed on your chest. Sure she

was red and wrinkly, but she was yours. “Ready for round two, Mrs. Weasley?” After a longer amount of time Dr. Bloom spoke up again, “And here’s baby number two! Born 12:50 am on December 27, 2002!” The second baby was placed on your chest and you and Fred were still crying. After a short time, two nurses came to clean the babies up as Dr. Bloom finished what she was doing. Not ten minutes later the babies were handed back to you in their little caps and hospital blankets. 

“They’re beautiful, love. Fantastic job.”

“Thank you, Freddie. But I suppose you had a part in this as well.” You both chuckled as

Fred gently ran his finger over the cheek of the baby closest to him. The girls weren’t identical, but they may as well have been. Every single feature was the same, all except the hair. Both girls were born with a full head of hair, and the only difference between the two was that one had the trademark Weasley red hair and the other had your hair color. The rest of their features were practically a direct copy of Fred. “Would you like to hold your daughters?”

Fred nearly fainted at those words, his daughters, he gently cradled each baby in his arms, whispering to each of them. “Hi, loves. I’m your dad. And that’s your mum over there, she’s the bravest woman you’ll ever meet. I can’t wait to bring you two home.” You practically melted at his words. After a while longer the rest of the Weasleys were brought in and welcomed by you and Fred, who each had one baby. They all remarked over how both girls looked just like Fred, and how the hair was the only difference.

After a moment you spoke up once everyone surrounded the bed and you had their attention. “Everyone,” you began, slightly holding up the red-haired baby in your arms, “this is Cassiopeia Ginevra Weasley.”

“And this,” Fred began with the other little girl in his arms, “is Calliope Molly Weasley.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as everyone admired the newest Weasleys.

“You did have the names picked out!” Bill exclaimed. Molly and Ginny were crying the most, looking overjoyed at the babies named after them.

“I love the names, y/n,” Percy said, “you could call them Callie and Cassie for short.” There was a collective ‘awww’ around the room as everyone had realised what you and Fred had done.

After another hour or so of everyone admiring the babies, you started to drift off to sleep. Everyone agreed it was time to be heading home to give you so much-needed rest. You quickly fell asleep, happy to not have to worry about contractions anymore, as Fred set the girls in their little carts before sitting in the chair beside your bed.

“I love you, y/n,” he whispered, “and our new family.”

[kellbellsparkles]

Chapter 11 of my Ratchet and Clank fanfic "Family"

Ratchet learns more about his father from his mother. Meanwhile, Talwyn undertakes a task to procure the means to find out why Aphelion is signaling for help.

Click clink.

Ratchet wound the handle of a custom made green cubicle action figure he fashioned. He let go and off it went across the floor. Edith watched with eyes of a child wandering into a toy store for the first time and clapped her hands.

"That was the very first invention I ever made," Ratchet said. "I think I was three." 

"You remembered and you were able to make that all by yourself," Edith said with wonder and aw in her eyes. 

Ratchet's creation soon stopped in place. Ratchet picked it up and traced his fingers along the design.

"Was it normal for Lombaxes to build things so young?" he asked.

"The most common age for children to start playing with actual machinery was five to six years old," Edith replied. "You were an early bloomer."

"Was Dad, too?"

"He was, but--" Edith cut herself off with a bout of giggles. "Oh dear. He figured out how to make his own pipe bomb after memorizing the code for his family's garage." 

"Wha--huh??" Ratchet shouted, exasperated. "Explosives??"

"Kaden was building his reputation for "really" thinking outside the box. He wanted his central command and warring factions to feel "authentic". His older brother, your Uncle Mace, took notice first and raced to take away the bomb, but it went off in his hand before he could throw it away. He lost all of his fingers." 

Ratchet's jaw hung open. His head reeled from the new information about his father and their species as a whole. His chest rose as his heart eagerly pounded away.

"Were kids always that dangerous?" he asked in disbelief.

"They were always supervised and mandatory inventing safety was taught in schools," Edith said. "The government poured much of its resources into playgrounds and logic based toys to keep them stimulated. That didn't stop your father from getting into trouble though. He built his very first space ship when he was eight." 

Ratchet removed his cap once more and fanned himself to remain grounded from the surge of overwhelming joy and giddiness.

"Holy crap," he uttered.

"He was headstrong, confident, and unwavering," Edith said warmly. "He inspired me to want to leave my comfort zone."

"So how did you two meet?"

"Well, I had already known of him, but he was going places and just starting out as a Pint Magistrate of the Praetorian Guard. I thought it'd be impossible to get his attention, but I knew if I didn't do something, then I would never have another chance. I decided to enter the annual Sterling Heralding Inspiring Talent Showcase as a singer. There was just one problem: how would I know if Kaden actually watched the program? So, I did what I thought was the most reasonable thing; I asked his best friend." 

Ratchet's ears perked at the last two words. He gritted his teeth as Edith continued her story, knowing exactly who she was referring to.

"Would you believe my luck that he was right there as I was realizing my predicament?" Edith went on. "Now, this was Alister Azimuth. His family was famous for being the overseers of the planetary defenses and scientific research, and that very same man was the key to your father. I asked him to tell Kaden to please tune in to the talent showcase that night."

"And he did."

"I didn't make it past the first round, but Kaden found where I lived and said that I deserved better, that no one put as much heart and soul into their act as I did. He brought me the biggest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen gifted to anyone." 

"Talk about making a first impression."

"We just took off from there." 

Edith swayed back and forth with a lovestruck smile. Her heart tickled and fluttered while remembering Kaden's heroic charisma and the admiration he had when they held hands and stared into each other's eyes. She couldn't wait to share those feelings with their son. In the background sat Ratchet's chest strap that served as a portable link between him and Aphelion. It laid on the muffling surface of the bed, thus its vibrating fell on deaf ears.

A fair distance away, Talwyn had reached the bustling vullard settlement. The citizens carried supplies and scraps in the carry-on compartment on their backs and traded with one another. She caught glimpse of a seemingly working space craft in the nearest shop. She hurriedly trotted over.  

"Excuse me," she called out to the shopkeep. "Is it possible that I can borrow your ship for a reasonable price? It's an emergency."

The shopkeep stood and pondered for a moment, scratching his chin.

"I don't see why not," he said. "As for payment, I'd like for you to collect something for me."

Talwyn rolled her eyes; there was always a classic catch for needing something.

"What do you need?" she asked.

"I am in need of Torrencian Crystals to craft my night light products, see? My good friend, Brom, normally helps me, but he's taking time for a personal family project, whatever that means, unless he considers every single one of us his family."

"Where can I find them?" 

"They're in the deepest reaches of the cavern they call Hulsk's Mouth. You can't miss it. It's the one with teethy rock formations."

"How far is it from here?" 

"Just head north for twelve miles then make a thirty-seven degree turn east and keep going until you see the trademark landmark."

Talwyn looked over the rocky horizon with looming dread. Aphelion's distress signal made her feel pressed for time. She checked the gauge of her hover boots by clicking her heels together. To her dismay, they let out a weak puff of smoke, signaling they won't be of any use much longer.

"Is there any down-payment for a mode of transportation?" she inquired.

"I have the most effective means of transport on the house," the shopkeep replied. He reached under his stand and pulled out a coily, dusty pogo stick. 

"Tadaa!" he chimed.

Talwyn stared at the device, dumbfounded and in disbelief.

"A pogo stick?" she said. "How is that supposed to help me?" 

"It's not JUST a pogo stick," the shopkeep stated. "It's the Bouncer Extraordinare Exclamation Point, thus giving it the singing abbreviation of BEEP. It's got more spring in its hop than a first-timer like yourself makes a judgment on. Its balance will make navigating the ruggedy terrain safe and its bounce will provide the fun." 

"This sounds like something Ratchet would come up with," Talwyn remarked. She took a hold of the BEEP. "Alright. I'm game." 

Suddenly, a flap of fabric slapped the wind. A tall, goofy looking robot dawned a crimson cape, standing heroically with his hands on his sides.

"I have traveled far and wide on a daunting, daring quest to save my dear friend!" he proclaimed. 

"Oh boy!" the shopkeep squealed, running to take hold of the cape. "I was looking for that!"

He yanked it off the robot, making him twist and twirl in a rapid fashion. He straightened out the fabric and hung it to reveal his shop shine: Chisel's Night Lights.

The visitor was revealed to be Sigmund. The Zoni watched as Sigmund held his head in place to collect himself, his eyes circling from being dizzy.

"Wait," Talwyn said as she furrowed her brows, registering his appearance. "I think I heard about you from Ratchet and Clank." 

"Ratchet and Clank!" Sigmund blurted out. "Yes, that's me! I mean-- no, I'm not! I'm Sigmund!" He let out a frustrated wail. He bowed his head and hobbled towards Talwyn.

"I'd formally introduce myself as senior caretaker of the Great Clock," he said. "But if you're friends with Ratchet and Clank, we have no time to lose. Clank is in unspeakable fathoms of danger." 

"That's what I feared," Talwyn fretted. "We need to get Torrencian Crystals so this guy here can give us his ship for us to get to Aphelion." 

The shopkeep, Chisel, tossed Sigmund a spare BEEP.

"What's this now?" Sigmund said, stunned and flabbergasted. 

"Just follow my lead," Talwyn said bluntly as she fastened herself onto her BEEP.

"I feel this a tedious chore quest that takes away from the dire and urgent main quest!" Sigmund bellowed in great annoyance. "Plus I don't have feet! How am I supposed to work this BEEP thing?" 

"That one's an automatic bouncer for the feetless or otherwise crippled," Chisel explained.

"That is so weirdly convenient and I don't have time to ask how you're oddly prepared for our situati-OOOOOOON!"

His hand slipped onto the button that turns on the BEEP. It launched him at least ten feet off the ground then forward double the amount. Talwyn followed suit after him, holding her breath at the sudden ascension and flight of the bounce. The Zoni looked on as they hopped away.

"Go on without me, dear Zoni!" Sigmund's cries echoed from a distance. "Carry on my legacy!!"

The Zoni looked to each other. They held hands and continued through the settlement towards their destination.

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

Heat in the rain pt. 10: New Years Eve (FINAL)

(Can you believe it’s the end? Writing hitr has really helped me get back into writing, and honestly, all of your responses have exceeded any of my wildest expectations tbh, I’ve loved every moment of writing this series thanks to you all!) 

Description: It’s new years eve and well, George has gotta kiss someone, right? 

Warnings: None

Word count: 1159 

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 

New years eve had always been your favourite holiday if you were being honest. There was something about the prospect of a whole new year in front of you that excited you much more than the cosiness of Christmas or the fleeting joy of your birthdays. And it seemed, that as this year came to an end, everyone residing in the burrow was looking forward to leaving 1998 behind. 

***

“Exciting, isn’t it?” Fred mused as he picked up a cracker and handed it to George who took the other end, putting down his glass of Old Odgen’s, 

“Sure is,”

“Whole new year,” 

“Yep,” 

“Only a few minutes left to,” BANG “sort out any unfinished business,” Fred’s eyes held a twinkle as George looked at him with annoyance, “It’s not like she disappears after the clock strikes twelve, Freddy,” He scoffed, picking up his glass again, 

“Who’s disappearing?” Ginny asked as she appeared in the kitchen, holding two empty bottles of champagne, which she placed beside the sink, “No-one,” Said George insistingly, shooting a glare at his twin, “Right Fred?” 

“Absolutely, Georgie,” Fred sniggered as he went to grab his own glass, which he had abandoned earlier, “No-one at all,” He said, making a grimace as if asking his brother -who-could-it-be? while George sipped his whiskey slowly, daring Fred to mention Y/n, 

“Say, George,” Asked Ginny, “Who’re you kissing at midnight?” She gave him a knowing smirk causing George to draw in a sharp breath through his nose, 

“You too?” was all he asked, Ginny smiled, “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” She stopped in the doorway and turned to wink at her brother, “but you should probably know that Y/n’s still available, unless you wanna kiss Fred,” She chuckled and exited the kitchen, 

“Fred stop snickering or I swear,” George began but Fred put up a hand, “Oh don’t worry Georgie, we’re only teasing, besides I’ve given up on being your wingman, you’re far too slow,” Fred smiled, “well, there’s only,” Fred checked his watch, “four minutes ‘til midnight, should we go in?” 

George looked at the whiskey swirling in his glass, “You go ahead, I’ll be there in a second,” 

*** 

You checked the time anxiously, only three minutes left now. The whole family stood ready, Harry and Ginny were handing out champagne glasses to everyone when Molly looked around and asked, 

“Where’s George?” 

“He said he’d be here in a minute,” Fred said, sipping his champagne, 

“Well in a minute it’ll be past twelve!” Ron said, 

“I’ll go look for him!” You said, raising a hand, you grabbed two glasses of champagne, if you didn’t catch him in time, at least you’d be able to celebrate a late new years eve together, smiling at the thought you headed towards the kitchen. Behind you Molly made movements to go as well but was stopped by a reassuring hand from Arthur, the two exchanged a knowing smile. 

***

You found George in the kitchen, he was looking out of the window in the far end of the room, someone far away, you expected the Lovegoods, were already firing off fireworks, the room lit up in shades of green and pink with every muted bang, 

“Oh good, George, I was afraid you’d run off somewhere far and-”

“I’m in love with you.” 

Stunned, you froze, there was another muted bang, this time the colour was a brilliant red. 

“George, what-” 

He spun around, 

“I’m in love with you,” he said again, a little more insistently, someone in the living room called out for you, you didn’t hear, you didn’t hear the fireworks either but you saw the golden shine appear behind George, enrobing him momentarily like a halo, 

“whatareyouonabout,” you whispered, people in the living room started counting down, starting at 30, 

“I have been for a while, actually,” he made his way towards you, grabbing the champagne glasses and placing them on the counter, “-probably put those down before you drop them,” He let out a breathy chuckle, his hands found yours, you couldn’t stop staring at him, unable to form any words, “I-George,” you choked out, 

“It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, really it is, but I wanted you to- needed you to know,” He said, squeezing your hands, “New Year's resolutions and all that,” He added, nervously grinning down at your intertwined hands, 

You looked up at him and his eyes found yours, he opened his mouth to say something but your lips met his before he could utter a word. The kiss was sweet and soft at first, and as the Weasleys broke out into a collective cry of cheers, his arms snaked their way around your waist as you deepened the kiss, your hands trailing upwards into his hair. When you broke apart, both a little breathless, you looked at each other in awe, then you broke out into a giggle, 

“Why on earth didn’t you say something sooner?!” You asked, 

“I thought you were in love with your co-worker, y’know, the one with the dark hair and shiny teeth!” George proclaimed, his hands finding yours again, 

“Gabe?!” You exclaimed, “George, he’s gay, he’s literally in Cancun with his fiancé as we speak!” you laughed, George looked stunned for a moment, then he too broke out into a laugh, 

“GEORGE IT’S TIME!!!!” Fred yelled from the living room, followed by a “Don´t! they’ve just gotten together let them be!” from Ginny, 

“How do you know that?” asked Ron, 

“Duh- I peeked through the opening to the kitchen while we were all hugging and kissing and whatnot,” Ginny said, 

“I DON’T CARE, THEY’VE HAD TEN WHOLE MINUTES AND WE’VE GOT A WHOLE BOX OF FIREWORKS TO SET OFF!” Fred yelled, at this point, he was standing directly in front of the entrance to the kitchen, 

“Mate, you’re looking at us, we can hear you,” George chuckled, 

“Good, then come on,” Said Fred, 

George leaned down and placed a quick kiss on your forehead, 

“Let’s go outside,” He said quietly, squeezing your hands again. You followed him outside, grinning like an idiot. 

As you arrived in front of the house along with everyone else, Fred had already set up the first of many fireworks, however, he only got halfway through his salesmanlike speech about the firework before a crack of thunder could be heard and soon rain was pouring down, causing the family to react in groans and then laughter, you and George were both dripping already when you made it inside, Fred trailing behind you, looking like he was silently cursing every god of whether he could think of. As people were getting towels and talking about getting changed you couldn’t focus on anything other than the heat coming from George, as he hugged you from behind, whispering quietly in your ear how much he loved you, and at that moment, you didn’t want to be anywhere else.

__

Taglist:  @lilcutekittykat​ @proflongbttm​ @silentexplorer18​ @lovinnholland​ @veraart​ @ren-ela​

__

Okay now that it’s finished, can I just say what a dumb name Heat in the rain is? okay, thank you and that’s all lol 

[voldemorthatesnose96]

ABRUPT

My second “first meet” AU of SOBBE. Please enjoy❤️❤️❤️

“Happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me... happy birthday dear Robbe... happy birthday to me...”

A lonely brunette hair guy blows the candle on his birthday cake—well, it’s not actually a cake but a single chocolate cupcake he bought earlier after walking from the morning shift at the mini market. Today is his 20th birthday and Robbe IJzermans is celebrating alone, again. His friends back home and his parents are congratulating him, of course, but it doesn’t feel the same when they’re all together.

Robbe is an exchanged student from Belgium and been studying at University of Central Florida (UCF) for two years now. Time goes too fast, and there isn’t a single moment passed without him missing home and everything.

It’s only eight in the morning. Even though, his body is tired but his mind is restless. Robbe’s already know this kind of situation. There won’t be any use if he’s trying to get some sleep. So instead, after eating his cupcake, he grabs the jacket, backpack and leave his humble flat—suddenly have this idea of going to the theme park and treat himself there.

———————————

It takes more than two hours by train from his flat to Universal Studios, and when he’s finally get there, he whispers to the air, “home!” and smiles to himself as his feet enters the theme park.

Robbe ALWAYS love the theme park, any kind of it; probably the second favorite place in the world besides the local caffe near the college. His inner child screams in utter joy whenever he sees rides such as roller coaster, haunted house—basically, everything.

Wizarding World of Harry Potter is the place where he can NEVER EVER get bored. So many things to do, too many things to buy, but he always saves the rides for later. For now, he just needs to take a walk for a bit to clears his mind. Not many people comes at this hour, so it’s a good thing.

After buying a cold butterbeer, Robbe’s first plan is to see the castle and takes a selfie (if he brave enough).

“Ah, what a beauty!” Robbe says while admiring the Hogwarts Castle from afar. He knows he’s a Hufflepuff through and through but would it be so much more amazing if this school actually exists in real life? A guy can dream.

When he’s satisfy enough looking at the magical castle, Robbe continue his walking to the ice cream parlour. When he’s almost there, for the tenth time since he got there, Robbe stumbles over his own feet and.... he accidentally trips his drink over someone’s t-shirt and also knocks down theirs.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT! I AM SO SORRY! SO SORRY!” He panicks without looking at the person. “I DON’T HAVE TISSUE! SO SO SO SORRY! I STUMBLED OVER MY FEET! YOUR DRINK IS FELL TOO! I’M SO STUPID! SORRY SORRY SORRY! I WILL—“

“Dude, stop!”

Robbe’s body freeze for couple seconds after he looks up and sees a guy around his age, wearing black everything but his bleached hair is making a beautiful contrast to the appearance. This guy’s looking... handsome? Devilishly handsome? In a way; and he’s looking rather pissed.

I’m dead, Robbe thought.

“I’m so sorry. I accidentally—“

“Yeah yeah, I heard you before. You accidentally stumbled over your feet, I know. I’m not deaf. But now what’re you gonna do to fix this? This clothes is expensive. Can you buy me another one?”

Robbe is super embarrassed right now. Cursed his feet and his too-clumsy nature!

“Look, I can make everything’s right again, okay?” He finally manage to find his voice and courage. “I can wash your t-shirt, even your jeans and buy you another drink. But please, forgive me! I’m sorry!”

Not long after, the bleached hair guy snorts and laughs loud; he’s too loud, almost everyone looking at them now.

“OH MY GOD, YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE! YOU LOOK TERRIFIED. SMILE A LITTLE, DUDE! IT WAS JUST A JOKE!”

“W-what?” Robbe asks, genuinely confused.

“This fucking t-shirt isn’t expensive,” the bleached hair guy says after he finally manages to calm himself from laughter. “In fact, I wanted to burn it.”

“But why? It’s nice.”

“Nope, you should buy me a cup of stracciatella ice cream then I’ll talk.”

Robbe can’t believe this weird guy; a total stranger, a little bit bossy but also exciting at the same time can stunned him easily. Feels like there’s an invisible sign above his head that speaks “DANGER!” but to hell with this—it’s still his birthday and no danger will be happened at the theme park, as far as he knows.

“Yeah, okay.” Robbe says as he follows the handsome stranger to the ice cream parlour.

Robbe almost trips when the bleached guy abruptly dead-stop in front of him.

“What is it?”

“Almost forgot,” he says, as he turns around and offers his hand. “Sander, 22, Juilliard student.”

Robbe takes Sander’s hand. It feels warm and strong in his, “Robbe, 20, exchanged student at University of Central Florida.”

Sander smirks, letting go the handshake, “cool. Come on, then!”

After they buy some ice creams and eat them on the spot, both agree to ride a Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey after this.

While they walking side by side, Robbe says, “now that I’m finally bought you an ice cream, mind to tell why you wanted to burn your clothes?”

Sander doesn’t answer for a minute or two. But when they walking pass the souvenir shop and Robbe’s being a little distracted by the wizard hat in the window, Sander says.

“Because my girlfriend gave it to me,” then he adds. “Well, an ex now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah, don’t be,” Sander shakes his head. His voice is surprisingly calm and playful still. “She was cheating on me. Here, at this very park.”

“ARE YOU FOR REAL?!” Robbe absentmindedly yell but quickly compose himself. “I mean, what? Here? That’s not possible!”

“But it IS possible, Robbe.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Stop saying that!” Sander giggles. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m glad I could finally get rid of her!”

“Can we... can we just sit somewhere and talk?”

Robbe doesn’t know where he gets the idea but one thing for sure, he also have the need to pour his heart out too to this guy. They may just know each other less than 2 hours, but... don’t know, but Robbe’s already trust Sander; something that never happen with anybody else, ever. And mostly, he feels that Sander need someone to talk to, even though his exterior speak otherwise.

“Because it’s you, I’ll do it.”

Wait, what? What does it mean because it’s me? Robbe thought, feeling bewildered but doesn’t mind.

“Before I continue,” Sander says after they finally sit at the cafetaria. It’s so crowded now, that they have to wait for almost 15 minutes to get a seat. “Do you think I’m a bad person for saying those things?”

“About?”

“That I’m happy for getting rid of her.”

Robbe shakes his head and smiling softly, “not at all. I swear.”

“Okay, then,” Sander sighs in relief. “We’ve been together for nearly a year now. Ups and downs, of course. But never in my life, even for a second that I thought she’d cheated on me,” he sips his iced-tea before continuing. “Like I said before, I’m a Juilliard student, that’s in New York and she’s in USF, which means we had a long distance relationship. You can still keep up, right?”

Robbe nods, not saying anything.

“Long story short, I just got here yesterday and we’re supposed to have fun today blablabla... then when I came back from the restroom, she was supposed to wait for me near the giant globe but she was nowhere to be seen. Was looking for her for nearly half an hour when I accidentally saw her french-kissed this asshole near the haunted house. Well, I took a pic of them, sent her that and said ‘wow! A public porn!’. She still had the audacity to sent “I CAN EXPLAIN, OK?!” but I blocked her number after that. The end. Happily ever after.”

“Wow...”

Sander gives him a mocking snorts, “that’s it? Just wow? What’s wow about that?”

“Um, sorry. No, of course it’s not a wow. Not that kind of wow. It’s just,” Robbe takes a deep breath to calm himself. Damn this nervousness! “I can’t believe someone actually did that. Cheating and everything.”

Sander lets a huff and rolls his eyes, “but some people could. But enough about me. Let’s talk about you.”

Robbe is a bit perplexed by the sudden change of topic, “me?”

Sander smirks while pierce his stares at him, “only you.”

Why does everything he said does something weird to my heart and stomach??? Robbe thought with annoyance.

“What do you wanna know, then? Ask away!”

“Why are you here alone?”

“Because I want to.”

“Give me a better answer, Robbe.” Sander mocks.

Robbe gulps. He plays his thumbs as self-assurance that what he’s going to say next isn’t that embarrassing.

“Well, today’s actually my birthday and I’m celebrating alone for 2 years now. I’m from Belgium, by the way. I always miss it and my friends.”

Looks like there’s only single information that Sander catch because he says “happy birthday” without making any comment about other things.

After saying that, he smiles as his hand ruffling Robbe’s hair. This gesture make Robbe’s heart beats even faster than before. But it’s only a friendly gesture, right? Like what big brother usually do to his little brother? Or as a friend. Right? No matter what is, he likes it too much to care.

“Thanks.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Robbe laughs at this, “no.”

“Boyfriend?”

“No but I’d love to.”

Sander’s green eyes widen, “so, you’re a...”

“Gay, yep!”

“Good for you,” Sander grins. “But did you realise that you just come out to a stranger?”

“You’re not a stranger anymore,” Robbe mumbles shyly as he holds his glass tighter. “I trust you, Sander.”

Both are silent for few minutes before Sander taking off a necklace around his neck and place in Robbe’s palm. It’s a gold necklace with a mini violin as the pendant.

“Yes?” Robbe asks, utterly confused. His brain’s momentarily has stopped working when their hands touch once again, but this time they linger.

“This is your present.”

“For what?”

“For your birthday, dummy!” Sander says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“No, Sander. I can’t! This is too expensive!” Robbe yelps but the bleached hair guy holds his hand even tighter.

“I need you to keep it!” He demands, “my mom gave it to me for my 4th birthday. It’s for a good luck and now it’s yours.”

“But—”

“I gave it to you, okay? Keep it,” Sander cuts him. “Or if you still insist, give it back to me when we meet again next time.”

“What?”

“I’m having a solo concert at Juilliard in two months. Would you be there?”

At this point, Robbe can never say no to him. Probably ever. He doesn’t know the reason why, but he’s certain that this sudden friendship will turn into something more. Hopefully. God, is he already whipped for someone he just met today?

“Are you gonna play a violin?”

“Yes,” Sander beams. “So? Would you?”

“I’d love to.”

“You promise?”

It’s true that they just met, it’s true that both doesn’t know each other that well yet, it’s true that this is quite abrupt but who would’ve thought, behind Sander’s devil-may-cry attitude, there’s an innocent and child-like insecurity? And Robbe is more than happy to get to know more about this special person.

This time, Robbe place his hand on top of Sander’s hand and whisper gently, “I promise.”

He isn’t sure how it’s gonna be, where it’s gonna lead but just them being like this—it’s more than enough. It left unsaid, but both already understand.

And that’s all that really matters.