#it’s a dream of mine to one day play the game myself (watched a let’s play!) and see the dialogue of NPCs and find out more secrets!

[stardusttshowers]

one of the things i love about super paper mario is the way the villain characters (count bleck’s crew) exist in the world (or at least; flipside/flopside and lineland) outside of the castle, outside of the heroes’ mission and the villains’ missions. it just makes the world so much bigger!! people are aware of them!

the rumors you get from carson’s bar in flopside about who the villains are, their backstories, what they could be! and then the gossip we share with sipsi in lineland, and a few npcs in flipside/flopside talking about them. it just makes the world bigger and real, and lets us get to know them better. (even if said dialogue is quiiite obscure if you don’t go looking, or don’t know where to look)

the amount of detail (and writing!) they put into this game and its lore and characters, and worldbuilding never fails to impress me! they have a lot for us to create our own stories with, while also letting us imagine and answer what is left unanswered, and I think that’s just one of the many things I love about this game!

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Falling in love again (Christen Press x Reader)

Writers block is being a pain at the moment so sorry it's been a while since I posted. I'll be back to trying to write my list of requests in a few weeks when I'm back from holiday. This wasn't requested, just a random idea and probably not very good but I hope you like it!

Warnings: Death of a partner, grief. If you find anything else let me know and I'll add it!

Words: 4.3K

---

Almost two years had passed since I lost my person. The person I thought I would spend my life with, the person I loved more than I thought it was possible to love someone. Life was cruel like that, giving you a person who understood you, who loved you so deeply, only to rip it away in the worst way possible. The day the phone call came, telling me Talia had been in an accident that claimed her life was a blur. Honestly, at times it still felt like a dream. The overwhelming grief, disbelief and fear I felt that day still ever present if I thought back to it. 

I had almost quit soccer for good after that, but I knew she wouldn't want me too. Talia loved watching me play, she knew how much I loved it, always encouraging me and supporting me in everything I did. So I kept going, every game I played, I played for her. The grief had faded since then. It was always there, it always would be, some days were worse than others, but it was bearable. It didn't consume me like it once had.   

One of the things Talia used to love was colouring in my tattoos. Not that I would have admitted it to her, but once we started dating, my new tattoos were purely designed so she could colour them. Our spare time was often spent with her colouring them while I drew or did random stuff. It was something I found myself doing often, especially when I was missing her.

Someone sat down next to me as I slowly coloured in one of the many tattoos scattered over my body. I didn't pay them much attention, continuing colouring, "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, not looking up at Emily, "Colouring."

"Is she colouring in her tattoos again?" Kelley asked sitting across from us.

"Yup, we really need to get her paper or a colouring book."

"Have you ever noticed even when there's paper around she still does it? Look at how comfortable and peaceful she looks. It's like a built in stress relief." I fought the urge to chuckle at how they talked as if I wasn't there. To be fair I was only half listening. 

"Why do you colour in your tattoos?"

I sighed, putting down the pen. The team had been bugging me for months now about it. These were some of the people I trusted most in the world, there was no reason to keep hiding it from them. "It reminds me of my wife. She would sit there for hours colouring in my tattoos while I drew. It became sort of a routine."

"You're married? You don't wear a ring."

I pulled the chain around my neck that held a simple black band and a silver band with a line of diamonds. "Mine and hers," I took a deep breath trying to control my emotions, "She died almost 2 years ago, I only take it off for games."

"God Y/n, I'm so sorry," Ali said, pulling me in for a quick hug.

Alex was the next to pull me into a tight hug, "How come we never knew? We've known you longer then two years?"

"No one knew except our close friends and family. At the time we weren't as close as we are now and I guess I couldn't bring myself to mention it after. We never specifically hid it, just didn't put it out there. She never wanted to the world to know who she was. Never wanted who she was with to impact her kids."

"She had kids?"

"She was a teacher at a school for kids with disabilities. They meant the world to her, she would do anything for them. It was always a worry that her suddenly being known would affect her job in some way."

"It sounds like she was an amazing person. I'm sad we never got to meet her."

"You did, you just never knew who she was to me."

"Talia? I remember you mentioning that she passed away and that's why you took that break," Alyssa asked.

"Yup, we had been married 4 years the day you met her."

"That's why you completely disappeared that day then wouldn't tell us why."

A small smile appeared on my face remembering that day. We had booked a hotel room, ordered way to much room service, gave each other massages, then had a bath and watched movies. It was simple, but one of my favourite nights besides the day we got married, "She had flown in that weekend just so we could celebrate our anniversary. We never spent one apart."

---

Christen sat down on her bed, staring up at me for a second before speaking, "That's why you turn everyone down when they ask you out? Including me."

There had been many people over the years that had asked me on dates, all being turned down for obvious reasons. Christen had been one of them though, about a year after Talia passed. Besides Talia, Christen was the only person I could actually see myself with if I ever got to a point where I felt ready. That wasn't now, but part of me hoped it would happen soon. Despite the guilt and grief that was there, I wanted the chance to be happy again with someone. We had talked about it a few times and neither of us wanted the other to hold on for too long. Talia would want me to be happy, to move on and one day, when the time was right, I would.

I sighed sitting down next to Christen. Sitting or lying on the others bed was a pretty common occurrence when we roomed together. "You know I know she would want me to be happy, but every time I even think about starting to date again, it feels like I'm betraying her. Like if I start something, I'll forget her."

"You'll never forget her. No matter what you're doing or who you're with, she will always be in your heart. She'll always be your person, but you can love someone else while still loving her just as much as you always have. It's not one or the other and if the next person doesn't understand that then they aren't worth the time. There's no rush to move on."

"Thanks Chris. Out of all the people that have asked me out, you're the only one I thought about saying yes to. I'm sorry I wasn't ready."

Christen placed her hand on my knee, squeezing gently. Something that always seemed to make me feel peace. "Don't be. I always knew there was a slim chance of you saying yes and I accepted that. I was just happy that it didn't change our friendship."

"Would you still be open to that date? Not right now, but sometime in the near future."

"Of course I would. There's no rush or pressure though Y/n/n, whenever you're ready, I'm ready. And if you're never ready that's okay too."

--- Today was two years since Talia was taken. Of course it was game day. When I realised the date it was like a weight was sitting on my chest. Christen was still asleep so I slipped quietly into the bathroom to shower and let the tears out. I had originally been thinking about pulling out of the game, but after my shower I was actually feeling okay to play. I was determined to win for her. 

The final whistle blew as I clung onto whoever was closest, my knees trying to give out on me. The rush of emotions I felt was not what I expected. Happiness, relief, grief all rushing through me as I tried to hold it together in front of everyone. Letting my emotions show in front of friends or family was hard enough, I didn't need that happening in front of the fans. 

I managed to hold it together enough to greet the fans before we made our way to the locker room. As I put the necklace back on, I broke. Tears silently streaming down my cheeks before a sob forced it's way out. Instantly, Ali's arms wrapped around me tightly as I sobbed into her shoulder. I didn't like crying in front of people, but there was no stopping it. So for once, I just let it out with the comfort of the people I trusted most. 

Once I had calmed down, Ali finally spoke up, "What's going on Y/n/n?"

"I-it's been 2 years sin-since- I'm sorry."

Ali's arms tightened as another hand squeezed mine, "Never apologise for feeling how you feel. You can always feel how you feel with us. We've got you always."

We spent longer in the locker room than we normally would as the girls took turns comforting me and making sure I was okay before we left. After dinner, most of the team ended up in one of the rooms for team bonding. There were quite a few questions about Talia, normally I didn't talk about her much because of the emotions it brings up, but everyone seemed genuinely interested in her.  Also, talking about her was actually quite therapeutic.  

Even though it was therapeutic, talking about Talia still brought up emotions so I had found myself cuddled up with Ali for comfort. I had almost went to Christen for comfort, but the guilt had started to creep in again making me decide against it.

"How old were you when you got married? It must have been quite young," Tierna asked.  

"We were. We started dating at 19, married at 23.  Possibly too young in some peoples opinions, but at the time we just got the idea in our heads and went with it. I proposed and 2 months later we were married. My time with Talia was incredible, it was fun and low maintenance. We met in college when we both didn't have a lot of money, most of our dates in our first few years were picnics, walks or movie nights. 

I mean our first anniversary, we made each other homemade cards. Talia got me marshmallows because I was obsessed with them at the time and I got her chocolate and gummy bears. We ended up at the beach, making smores before going back to my apartment and making pasta for dinner. To this day that was probably one one of my favourites. Talia never cared about fancy or expensive things, that never changed the further I got in my professional career or as our money situation changed. She was just happy if we were together."

I knew I was rambling, but I couldn't help myself. Talking about Talia before I lost her was one of my favourite things. The girls didn't seem to mind though as everyone's attention seemed to be completely on me. "She sounds like she was an incredible person."

"She was. I think she would have gotten along with all of you. Especially Emily and Kelley. Talia loved pranks and just being annoying. She wrapped up a carrot and gave it to me more than once, she would pull little pranks all the time or poke and prod at me constantly."

Later that night, Christen got my attention as I slipped into my bed, "Hey, you doing okay? I know today was hard."

"It was, but I'm feeling okay right now. I think talking about her helped. I've never really let myself because of the emotions it brings up. Turns out it's quite freeing to talk about her."

"The team would agree, it was nice to hear about her. I can see how much you love her."

"It's uh not weird for you is it?"

"No. Y/n, she was your wife, you love her, you always will. I know that. If we were to eventually get to a point past friendship, I would never expect anything else. You can talk to me about her whenever you want and I don't want you to feel bad about it."

"Thank you Chris. I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything. I have every intention of asking you on a date, I just need a bit of time."

"Hey, I don't think that at all. Like I said, there is no rush, there's no expectations."

---

It had been about six months since mine and Christen's initial conversation. I was finally feeling like I was ready to try dating again, all I had to do was ask. It had taken longer than I thought it would and a part of me was thinking that Christen would have lost interest by now or just didn't want to deal with my past. A part of me was tempted to not ask, to save myself from rejection, but I also knew there was no way to know unless I asked. 

"So."

"So?"

I took a deep breath, trying to clear some of the nerves that had been building. I had never asked one out let alone dated anyone else besides Talia. Christen sent me a small smile, the nerves melting away when I saw the adoration in her eyes. "Will you go on a date with me Chris?"

"You're ready for that?"

"I think so, I've been thinking about it a lot recently. It's just this is something I haven't done with anyone besides Talia so I might not be perfect or even close to it, but I'll try."

"I would love to Y/n. Just tell me if we go on this date and you realise you're not ready. I'll understand. You also don't have to be perfect, we'll figure this out as we go okay?"

"Thank you Chris. I'll pick you up at 6?"

"We're sharing a room."

"I'm going to get ready in Ali and Alex's room, that way I can pick you up."

"And they say chivalry is dead." 

---

Trying to plan a date was so far out of my comfort zone that I didn't even know where to start. Of course I had been on many dates with Talia, but that was different. It had been 10 or so years since my first and only first date. I knew Talia like the back of my hand, I knew what she liked, where she liked to go. Christen on the other hand, I knew her, but to a far lesser extent which was making me overthink. What if she didn't like what I planned? What if I did too much or not enough? 

Before I could continue to spiral, I decided to enlist the help of Tobin. Normally I would go to Ali, but Tobin was Christens bestfriend. 

"You okay Y/n?"

"No. Well yes but also no. Christen and I are going on a date tonight and I'm freaking out. I cannot for the life of me decide what to do. Every time something comes to mind, I convince myself that it's not enough. Chris will be the second person I've ever taken on a date, it needs to be perfect."

Tobin led me to sit on the bed as I had started to pace across the room. "Don't tell her I told you, but Chris doesn't care what you do, she's just happy to go out with you. Tell me your ideas?"

"I know she likes parks or gardens, beaches, picnics, museums, that sort of thing. There's not a beach around otherwise I would take her there and it'll be too late to take her to the museum but I found a nice park the other day. It has a lake and there were heaps of like lights and stuff. Was thinking picking up some takeaway and other bits to have a picnic at the park, but it doesn't seem like enough."

"Y/n, that is perfect. I know this is pretty much completely new to you, but you just need to try relax a little bit. You know Chris, she's your friend, you know what she likes. She's going to love a picnic in the park, maybe a walk around after."

"Thank you Tobs."

"Hey Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"Chris is going into this knowing there's a chance you realise you're not ready and she'll understand that, everyone will. There'll be no hard feelings or anything. Just if that happens, please tell her sooner rather than later. I know you won't do it on purpose, but I don't want her to get her hopes up."

"I will. This wasn't a decision I made lightly, I feel ready and I'm really hoping I am. I admit, it does feel a bit weird, but I really like her Tobin. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

Tobin smiled slightly, pulling me into a quick hug, "I know and so does Chris. Just take it one step at a time, you don't need to rush anything or do anything that doesn't feel right."

After one last hug I made my way to the door, "Thanks Tobs, I should go get ready before I make myself late."

Before heading back to my room, I ran down to the shop to get a few things. Picking out what to buy took longer than it should have. Everything I thought about buying, I ended up second guessing if Christen actually liked it. Time was running out though so I ended up picking out some wine I thought she liked and some other picnic type things.

Despite almost making myself late, I knocked on the door at exactly 6 pm, trying my best to push down the nerves. Tobin was right, Christen was my friend, I knew she didn't expect or even really like some fancy date. There was no real reason to be this nervous. Part of it was probably because of how new it was, part of me was second guessing if I was truly ready for this, but I think that was due to nerves and not wanting to hurt Christen. Another part was because it was Christen. Gorgeous, kind, thoughtful Christen. Anyone in their right mind would be nervous to be going on a date with her. 

"Hi Y/n/n."

"Hi."

Christen smiled, kissing my cheek softly, "You okay?" 

"A bit nervous, but I'm okay. You ready to go?"

We made our way out of the hotel, stopping to pick up takeaway before starting the ten minute walk to the park. Christen didn't ask about what we were doing, instead making random conversation. Knowing I was nervous, I had a feeling she was doing it on purpose to try calm me down. It was definitely working, my nerves were fading away the longer we talked and I wasn't thinking so much about if it was enough. Instead, I was letting myself be excited about it. 

When we got to the park, Christens eyes lit up as she looked around. I found a nice spot by the lake, spreading everything out on the blanket as Christen got comfortable. "How'd you find this place? It's beautiful."

"I stumbled upon it when I went for a walk the other night."

"You went for a walk, alone at night?"

"Maybe not my best idea, but I needed to clear my head away from our room, away from the hotel."

Concern covered Christens face as she straightened slightly, "Away from our room? Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, no you didn't do anything. I was trying to figure out if I asked you out or not. I guess I was worried that I had left it too long and maybe you weren't interested anymore. I also felt a bit guilty, making you wait so long. It seems unfair to you. Got in my head about it I guess. If you can't tell, I'm a bit of an overthinker sometimes."

"Well I'm glad you did. This wasn't unfair to me, I promise. You were honest about everything Y/n, you didn't give me false hope or lie to me. That was all I could ask of you. Are you feeling okay about this?"

"I am. Honestly, it feels a little bit weird which maybe you don't want to hear, but I'm really having a good time."

Christen smiled, taking my hand gently, "Look, I don't get how it feels, but I will never dismiss anything you're feeling. You can always talk to me about it. It's okay for it to feel weird because it probably is for you, I don't take offence to that."

"Thank you. Now lets eat before it gets cold."

We spent the next couple of hours talking about anything we could think of. There had never been anyone but Talia that I could talk to so comfortably without running out of things to talk about. That was until Christen came along. Long before there were any feelings, there had always been something about her that made me feel comfortable talking to her about things. Now I craved the conversations I could have with her. I wanted to get to know her more, from the mundane to the personal. 

Conversation continued as we walked around the park hand in hand then back to the hotel when it started to get late. The nerves had long faded by now, instead being replaced by giddiness and maybe butterflies. Going on a date with Christen felt right. Despite the lingering guilt, I knew Talia would approve. I knew that out of anyone to move on with she would have chosen Christen for me. That in itself brought a sense of peace. 

---

Christen slipped under the blankets on her bed, pulling me down with her. I laughed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, mumbling something about wanting cuddles. Pulling her closer, I left a soft kiss against her forehead before speaking. "You want me to sleep in your bed tonight?" 

Christen just nodded. We had just got back from our fifth date in two weeks. They could have been spaced out since we lived in the same city, but I felt like a smitten teenager again. Instead of the nerves that plagued me for our first date, I was excited about the dates. Maybe to some it was too many too quick, but I didn't care and Christen didn't seem to either.

Despite the amount of dates we had been on, we were planning on taking things slow. It was my idea to take it slow as this was something I hadn't done in a long time. We had kissed for the first time at the end of the last one, but even though we were rooming together, we hadn't slept in the same bed yet.

"That can be arranged, but I need to get changed and brush my teeth." She groaned dramatically, but let me go with a pout. After completing my nightly routine, I took my necklace off, putting it next to the bed. It felt unfair to Christen to be sleeping in the same bed as her while still wearing my wife's ring.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking it off."

"Because you want to or because you feel you have to?" I just shrugged, Christen stood up, grabbing the necklace and putting it back around my neck before her arms wrapped around my waist from behind. "I will never make you take this off. I never want you to feel like you have to for me okay? You will always love her and that's okay. It doesn't mean you can't have that love for someone else as well."

I nodded leaning back into her. One of my biggest fears with dating someone new was that they wouldn't understand or get mad at the fact that I will always be in love with someone else. That person just happened to not be here anymore. It was scary that I already felt myself falling for Christen, she was just such a beautiful person, inside and out. I don't think I could stop myself from falling even if I wanted to.

---

Christen and I were lying on my bed as the movie credits started to play. We were supposed to go out, but I wasn't feeling up to it. Talia's birthday was in a few days and I had been thinking about her a lot. No matter how much time passed, I still missed her just as much. I was feeling somewhat guilty about the new realisation that I was in love with Christen, like I was being unfaithful to Talia. I felt guilty a lot when Christen and I first started dating. It had mostly faded over the 6 months we had been together, though it always got worse near dates to do with Talia. I just had to keep reminding myself that there was nothing to feel guilty about and that she would be happy for me.

"I hope she's proud of me," I stated quietly, mostly to myself.

Christen turned her head slightly, "Maybe I didn't know her very well, but I know she is. You've come so far in your life and career. You are an amazing person, anyone would be proud of you."

"Sometimes I wish I could have one last conversation with her. See what she thinks of my life, where I am, who I'm with. I still talk to her sometimes, almost expecting a response, but of course it'll never come."

Her fingers laced with mine, squeezing slightly, "I'm sure she's listening and she's happy that you're living the life you want. That's what the people who love us should want for us."

I rolled over so I could look at her properly, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, "Have I ever thanked you? For letting me talk about her, for understanding that me loving her doesn't take away from what I feel for you, for always being there for me on days like our anniversary, or her birthday or the anniversary of her death. It's something I am forever grateful for Chris."

"I will always do all of those things, you don't ever need to thank me. I love you Y/n, I'll always be there for you no matter what."

"Y-you love me?"

"I do. You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know."

I kissed her softly, trying to show everything I was feeling, "I love you Chris."

[mr2swap]

wedding gift for "dad"

I feel terrible about how things turned out for me and my son David, but there is nothing I can do now. All I can do is live the life David always wanted for himself and his husband, Andrew.

I met Andrew when he was just a little boy who used to come every afternoon to play with my son David, the two of them were inseparable so much that I came to consider Andrew as the second son I never had, the years passed, and I saw how Andrew and David became men, until that moment I never believed that there was more than friendship between them, they were always so fanatical of spending their afternoons training in the gym until long hours of the night, studying in long sleepovers that lasted all weekend week and rehearsing their choreographies for the dance club they were both enrolled in. I guess I should have seen the signs.

10 years ago while the whole family was together and David was next to him, he decided to tell us the truth, they had been secretly dating for so long that I almost choked on a mouthful of my wife's delicious meatloaf, they all seemed quite happy at that moment everyone except me.

I was so stupid back then that at that moment, I decided that the man in front of me was not my son anymore, I started treating him differently, I cut myself off from him and Andrew completely, damn it! I even felt sorry that everyone on our street knew about it before I did. I'm 59 years old, in my day all that shit was kept secret, of course there were gay people, but I never thought David would be one of them.

For the good of the family I decided to just ignore David, but when he and Andrew came to my house with an invitation to their wedding I just couldn't help myself anymore, I told David that I didn't agree with his lifestyle and if he wanted to be gay had to be done outside this house and forever, I wouldn't attend the wedding of two fagots, let alone let someone from my family know about it.

From that moment I did not see David or Andrew again, until their wedding day, I was alone at home watching the football game on television, my wife had betrayed me and left me alone to go to the wedding from David and Andrew, I drank a six pack of beers just to forget today's wedding, but while you were watching the game something strange happened, I don't know if it was the effect of the beers or maybe the strange wish that my son made, I swear that In a simple blink that I lived in slow motion I was transported from the comfortable sofa in my house to a hotel room.

I looked around surprised because my living room had become an elegant room on the twelfth floor of a hotel, believing that I was in an extremely realistic dream, I looked at my hands, they were no longer old and wrinkled, now they were firm and young, my clothes I had also changed instead of a dirty tank top that highlighted my huge belly and yellowed boxer shorts I was now dressed in a fancy tuxedo, I looked down in surprise that my belly didn't obstruct my vision to see my feet which were now in a pair in elegant black shoes.

-This must be a dream…-

I said out loud and startled by the sudden change in the tone of my voice, something seemed familiar in that voice, but I didn't know what it was, I decided to believe that I was in a lucid dream thanks to all the pain that I normally suffered in my back and on my knees they disappeared, with my long and firm fingers I held my hard and firm pectorals, even the sensations on my skin were different and for some reason my nipples were also much more sensitive.

I kept using my fingers to highlight each of my muscles, I continued down towards my chiseled abs, surprised to find myself with the hardness of my muscles instead of a grotesque round belly, I looked to the sides trying to find a mirror, so I could see myself better, and luckily I found one that was on the other side of the huge hotel room.

When I first looked at my reflection, I immediately recognized the face that was now mine.

-AHHH!!!-

Indeed, that was not my face, it was the face of my son David, I fell backwards terrified by the impact of seeing my son again and at the same time knowing that I was him, I remained silent for a whole minute making movements slowly while crawling to the mirror my eyes did not take off for a single second from the reflection in the mirror that imitated each of my movements.

As I knelt in front of the mirror, I examined my son's mature handsome face, his perfectly trimmed beard, his whitened teeth, and his hair which I had recently painted black.

-What the fuck is… This?-

I caressed my new face while making strange expressions with my son's face in the mirror, to verify that it was me who was there. Suddenly, from the other side of the room, the ringing of a telephone made me wake up from hypnosis in who was submerged while looking at my face.

I stood up and awkwardly walked to the phone now that I was aware of the vast difference between my obese body and the young body of my gay son.

Before I had the phone in my hands I looked at the number, immediately recognizing it was the number we had had in the house for years, less and less convinced that this was a dream, I picked up the phone and simply answered it.

-He-hello?-

For five long seconds that seemed like an eternity the phone remained silent, a hoarse and thick voice broke the silence in which we were.

-Dad are you?-

-Who speaks? David? for the love of god what's happening?-

-Oh shit! If you are the one in my body, I… I'm sorry, I think this is my fault.-

-David, where the hell are you? and where am i? why is this your fault?

I had to sit down for the long conversation we had that day, he doesn't know exactly what happened, he was just getting ready to go down to the reception and be on his wedding day, but it seems an unexpected gift arrived, from out of nowhere a mysterious gift appeared on the floor, it was in front of the door so I guess it was a gift from her future husband or maybe the reception had sent them something in gratitude for renting the ballroom, the gift box was simple and it only had a name on it.

From: Mr2 Swap

He thought the gift was a mistake, that it simply wasn't for him and one of the hotel workers had got the wrong room, but for some reason he couldn't leave the gift unopened, it was almost as if he was calling him .

When he finished dressing, the gift was still there and David could not resist the supernatural curiosity that invaded him, he took the gift in his hands and opened it, he was not expecting anything specific, but what the box contained surprised him, it was a simple golden ticket

"Valid for one wish"

David looked everywhere, but there were no more letters or signs of who had sent the ticket.

-A wish huh?… I just wish dad was here to see how I get married-

And after that we both woke up in each other's place, while there Disney was counting all this madness I looked everywhere even under the bed, but there was no ticket not even a gift box it was like after his wish was fulfilled would have vanished.

While I was still looking for some clues as to where that strange gift had gone, my wife also dressed in an elegant dress entered the room, as soon as I saw her I knew that she had to find out what had happened to me and David But the words wouldn't come out of my mouth no matter how hard I tried I couldn't say a single word about the exchange or about the real David now being drunk in my body thousands of miles from here.

-the wedding planner is waiting for you son, if you take longer on the phone, we will have to postpone dinner-

Caught by the magic of the ticket, I act exactly as David did, I took one last look in the mirror and with a smile I fixed my hair, I definitely wouldn't act like this in a situation like this, but David's personality was so dominant in to my mind that now that so much time has passed since then I can't believe that I actually married another man.

I drank a couple of drinks to ease the tension but as soon as I saw Andrew for the first time through my son's eyes it was like seeing him for the first time, he was a bit taller than me he had a lovely smile and had a body so fucking hot in that body hugging black suit that a boner formed when I kissed him in front of my family and David and Andrew's friends

I will never forget my first kiss with Andrew, his lips were firm but soft, his tongue was so wild that I was carried away by the intoxicating taste of his saliva and that slight taste of champagne, with his long and strong arms he caressed my round butt giving me a prelude to what would be my wedding night, the grip on his fingers dug into the meat of my ass like teeth, in my old life I never allowed myself to be weak, but now I enjoyed my newly husband's manipulations.

By the time the wedding ended I was drunk enough to let myself go, the real Andrew noticed my nervousness a bit, but he thought it was just the nerves before the wedding, I hadn't seen my son or Andrew in years, I knew what enough for the time we were together and for what his mother said to convince him that I was the real David.

Hours went by and it got darker and darker, when all the guests had left and me and Andrew went up to the room, the real performance began, the second we walked through the door immediately Andrew took my hands and he tossed me onto the bed like I was a wild animal I stripped naked revealing my son's years worked muscles, my heart was pounding like crazy as I watched Andrew take off his shirt in front of me, I had seen Andrew shirtless a lot of times when I was in my old body, but now it was very different.

As if they had a life of their own my hands began to adore Andrew's massive hairy pecs, I pinched those nipples that were in front of me and buried my face in the middle of his pecs, the smell was delicious, sweat, and a slight scent of champagne spilled on his shirt, Andrew seemed to be enjoying it even more than I was, his moans that must have seemed repulsive to me before now only turned me on more and more as he released one.

Andrew I can't contain myself for another second he took me by the waist and turned my body so that I was lying face down towards the bed, my legs settled as if they knew exactly what was happening, I arched my back and lifted my ass to display it in front of Andrew, this time the moans that filled the room were my own.

Andrew had plunged his face into my ass and with the same ferocity that he had desecrated my mouth he did with my anus, even though he had magically acquired the personality of my son David, all the sensations will be new to me, and my God. , what fucking incredible sensations!

As he used his tongue to please me with his strong, calloused, firm hands, he took my penis and began to masturbate it, for a straight man and I have done the old-fashioned like me all these pleasurable sensations were incredible.

But neither me nor Andrew were satisfied, Andrew stuck his tongue out of my hairy ass and slowly inserted his cock inside me, it was a painful sensation, but somehow familiar and pleasant, he fucked me so hard that day that surely we didn't let sleep to the people in the next room.

He was so drunk and so tired that day that I didn't realize when he had put me to sleep, and when I woke up to the rest of Andrew, I almost fell out of bed. Immediately, all the memories of the day before came to mind. I got out of bed as quietly as possible, took the phone and unlocked it with Andrew's face, it had 58 calls from the real David.

I changed into a pair of my son's tight revealing underwear and went into the bathroom, called David and told him everything that had happened that night, completely avoiding that Andrew and I had fornicated.

It was strange hearing my son cry in my old voice, but there was nothing I could do to comfort him, I just promised him that he would try to figure this out and not ruin his life or his new marriage.

Since that day I have been pretending to be David, every day is something new and to be honest it is exciting, thanks to my new personality I was able to fully adapt to David's gay life the new ideas did not seem disastrous to me as they would have seemed to me in my Old body, I always thought my son was a model or something, I soon found out that he and Andrew were the best strippers in the city where we now live, we had loads of money, I never thought fagots would pay so much just to see me dance, having fun, kissing and stroking my husband's cock in public.

It's been three years since then, Andrew and I have a nice house that we remodeled, a lot of savings in the bank, and we recently started an OnlyFans account as a couple, and he never suspected that she married her boyfriend's father.

Actually no one ever found out about the body swap, that's still our secret between me and David, and speaking of David we talked again after the swap, he has a hard time adjusting to his new life as a bigoted middle-aged man, all those stupid ideas that used to be in my head are now in hers but I think she's adjusting to her new gay son.

It's a bit hard to admit, but I prefer my new life, so I'll try not to open a mystery gift from Mr2 swap again.

Hello, if you liked this story and you want more, you can take a look at my Ko-Fi page to see my most recent stories, see my new stories and support me to continue creating this hot content.

[adsosfraser]

always

everlark; post mockingjay; jealous katniss

The roof is leaking. 

The tin bucket rings with the tap tap tap of the evenly spaced droplets. 

The deluge of rain hit hard last night and it has me humming happily, excitement in my chest. 

I’ve always loved thunder. The way it rolls deep within my chest and echoes in the deep old bones of the mountains around us. I would squeal with each clap and reach up to catch it in our Seam home as my daddy smiled from his chipped armchair. We’d play a game of hopping from spot to spot on the floor at each rumble and though his eyes hung in deep dark circles from his shifts in the mines, my father never tired. Then, Prim was born and she was terrified of thunderstorms for a time. 

It’s just one leak in our shiny and spiffy Capitol made home that’s been standing for almost a century now though. Thom and his builders have much more important things on their minds than a tiny leak in our roof. 

Some people still don’t even have roofs. The make-shift canvas of the sturdy tents lining the district hardly constitute roofs. 

When the war began, the Capitol wasn’t quite as invested in the architecture in their dear sweet Victors’ homes. They couldn’t keep up their perfect veneer in District 12 when they obliterated it into the ground. The poor things. 

And besides, a little water didn’t hurt that much. In my father’s home, we had at least ten designated containers to catch the drip of rainfall. 

When I step outside into the morning, the sun is bright and clear in the sky. No trace of the ominous grey and green puffs above remains. The grass is wet and smells of rain. A small trickle of a stream has formed on the gravelly road, opposite our home. At least the geese have been subdued into some semblance of peace because of the storm. 

Peeta had left this morning before the sun even stretched out into the sky. Usually I would already be out in the woods too, or by his side watching him knead dough or wipe sweat off his brow. 

But, I couldn’t settle last night. Even in Peeta’s arms I was restless. And when my eyes finally drooped shut, a nightmare had found me. The giant crash of thunder that split the sky in two in the middle of the night woke me up. In my dreams all I heard were bombs and gunfire. It had reminded me of-

Peeta let me rest in this morning when he heard my grumpy grunt as I shoved my face under the pillows to hide from the sunlight. Not that he let me do anything. But he had gently tucked me back in and left a muffin on my nightstand for when I was ready. 

Part of me wanted to pull him back in by the shirt of his buttoned collar and waste away the day. But even my arms wouldn’t listen to my demands. The bed was so nice and I fell deep into the mattress covered in one of the sheets as Peeta left the fan to run for me. The cinnamon and dill buried deep within the fabric of his side made me feel like I was rocking on a boat, in a lake with gentle rolling waves in my head. 

Besides, we haven't even kissed since he returned to me almost four months ago. At first the chaos of finishing the important parts of the bakery and going through the final touches to get it up and running had us distracted. Now I’m not so sure he wants to kiss me. 

I kick the loose rocks littering my path to the bakery. They skip and hop and fling themselves in the air. One hits another rock and angles itself to launch at someone passing me clear across the street but their back is turned and they don’t even feel it ping off the heel of their boot. I mumble an apology to myself though, and feel the heat of shame caving in on me from every inch of air around me. 

Before I know it, I’m in front of the bakery. It was one of the first buildings up in Twelve. Everytime I see it my heart swells with pride for Peeta. Even though it’s just the bare bones now, I can see its future clear across every brick. The sign hangs proudly over the front. The ‘s’ in Mellark’s is slightly crooked and splotchy because of my shaky hands, but when Peeta began painting it with such excited and reverent hands, he insisted I contribute to at least one part of it. 

Normally, I never enter through the front door of the bakery. The back door has always been home to me in a way. The first time I ever came to the back doorstep, I was sitting tall on my father’s shoulders and happily babbling along to a tune he was singing. He and Mr. Mellark quickly exchanged two squirrels with a respectful nod and I mimicked them which put the trace of a laugh onto the baker’s weathered face.  

Now, I want to surprise Peeta as one of his customers. The bell of the door jingles as I walk through the door. No one mans the front counter so he must be in the back. 

“I’ll be with you shortly.” 

His voice carries through the opening to the room with the ovens and prep tables and my shoulders relax at his calm but steady voice. The way the bakery was built and rebuilt, it’s easy for him to call out to customers without having to yell. My lip twitches up into a soft smile and I pull out one of the chairs dotting the tables around the room. 

His clomping footsteps and another ring of the bell clash together in my mind. I look up to see the new customer, expecting someone from Thom’s crew but I instantly tense up at the sight. 

Her hair is coiled perfectly into ringlets around her face and a big fur coat rests on her shoulders. Her chest is unnaturally large and her bottom even more so. But she’s perfect, right down to her nails. Not a blemish in sight and her blonde hair shines with health and lustre. 

She’s big and pretty.

“Artementia!” 

Peeta’s shout pulls me from my scrutiny of the clearly Capitol woman. His steps are quick as he approaches her and wipes the flour off of his hands onto his apron. 

My head jerks back when he reaches for her across the counter and they embrace. His smile is brilliant and he doesn’t even notice me lurking in the corner. 

“Oh my dear.” They pull back from their hug and that woman kisses both of his cheeks, dangerously close to the corner of his mouth. “It’s been far too long.” 

“It really has Artie.” He squeezes her hand. “How have things been for you?” 

“Well why don’t we go and have lunch together? I’m sure you’ll be having your break soon anyway.” 

“It’s just me today, I’m not sure I can just close up shop for my lunch break.” 

“They can survive without you for an hour I’m sure. Just flip your little sign over and we can go to the opening of that restaurant down the street.” 

Peeta’s head turns to the back, searching a long moment for something. When he turns around, it seems he’s already made up his mind. He lets out a sigh before plastering his smile back on for the woman. 

“Well alright,” His hands work swiftly to unknot the apron around his waist and place it on the counter. “Sure wouldn’t want anyone else to give you the grand tour of our pristine district.” 

She places a hand over her chest and lets out a soft laugh and Peeta’s chest rumbles with a short chuckle. 

They walk over to the door, not even glancing my way as Peeta flips the sign on the door over to ‘closed’ and locks the door. Before the door smacks shut behind them, I shove it open and storm past them in the opposite direction. To the woods. 

The rock in my hand scatters to the ground. 

It was pretty and I thought Peeta would’ve enjoyed its smooth surface and swirling brown rings. 

But maybe now it’s not enough to preoccupy his mind with the pretty blood and flesh woman beside him. 

His head whips back to the loud sound of the slamming door and ping of the rock and I quickly turn my face away from his line of vision. 

“Katniss?” His hopeful voice calls out. But I’m already pushing to round the corner of the rebuilt merchant businesses. “Katniss!” 

He can have fun with his gorgeous Capitol woman on his arm. I don’t care. 

I save the grumbling for later though, my mind focuses on the ground below me as my legs carry me in a spring towards the fence. I duck under my spot in the chain-link and snatch up my bow and arrows. 

After the fifth poor squirrel participates in my very important exercise of letting my feeling’s flow for the day, I climb up a strong and tall tree. I lean into the familiarity of pulling myself up its sprawling branches and swinging my body up and up. Reaching for the sky just as its leaves are. 

Have I really lost my dandelion in the spring already? 

Did the hungry storms of last night, and the contrast of the harsh summer sun this morning already wilt it?

He so easily welcomed that woman’s touch. Someone from the Capitol no less. And he’s barely touched me in months. Save our desperate grip on each other as the terrors of the night take over. 

I will not be sharing a town with the woman Peeta so readily shares himself with. 

Instead of rough bark behind my back, I feel the hard arm of a rocking chair digging into my spine. The room is cosy and safe, like Peeta. I feel the sway of my body with the branches of the tree and hug my knees tight to my chest. 

“This baby takes nothing from you Kitty, my heart just has to grow some more. Like my tummy. That’s all.” 

I relax into her arms, feeling the steady beat of her heart where my head lays. Her stomach is fat, nice and cushy. As fat as anyone in the Seam could ever get. She smells pretty. Like the dirt and plants Daddy lets me dig my grubby little fingers into. I feel the song rattle through my chest as she hums to me. My head gets droopy and I curl further into her. Her hands run through my hair and as she rocks our bodies together on the chair, my head clouds with dreams that I can’t touch yet. But I know they’re there. Happy and warm. 

“I’ll always be right here with you baby.” 

Shivering in the downpour I’ve been caught in, I hum the same tune she soothed me to. Without thinking, my body rocks back and forth on the soaked moss and lichen on the limb closest to the ground. If I let my hand hang limp from my side I could probably brush the tops of the chives sticking out near the base with my fingertips. I don’t remember my journey down from the top of the tree, but it must’ve happened somehow. 

I could be crying. I don’t know. The fat raindrops on my face disguise any that may come. 

But it would be hard to disguise the snot squirming its way out of me. I rub my bare forearm under my nose. 

I do what I do best. 

I run. I hide away. And I sulk. 

It doesn’t matter. 

They all leave. 

Even if they don’t want to, they always do. My father and Prim's choice was made for them. I don’t know what’s worse. To have Peeta’s choice made for him or for him to actively choose that I no longer fit into his life. 

Either way, it’s all unbearable to think about. I gasp in sharp breaths and my chest is tight with the pain and fatigue of it all. I feel like I’ve just run the worst marathon of my life, and I’ve never even gone over five miles when training for the Quell put a stick up Peeta’s ass. 

His clomping footsteps alert me to his presence long before I can see his form through the sheets of rain obscuring my vision. Maybe if I tuck further into myself he won’t notice me sitting on the lowest branch of the tree. 

I was never a lucky person though. 

He approaches me slowly, like I would a skittish animal. I tuck my chin into the safety of my knees. Surely he’ll go away if I ignore him hard enough. 

I feel the air move around me as he swings a leg up and over and brings his body to rest on the same branch as me. It’s not without difficulty though, I know his leg still bothers him and can be cumbersome at times. After a quiet moment of him gathering his balance again, he lifts my chin up with his finger. 

I can feel the tear tracks, dry and crusty against my cheeks and I know I look like a drowned rat, or rather a drowned Buttercup from my little pity party under the torrential rain. 

“Oh, Katniss.” Warmth floods through me, all-consuming and relieving as his thumb traces the skin under my eye. “What’s wrong baby?”

My nose stings again as a fresh wave of fat tears fall from my eyes at the nickname. My lip wobbles and I can’t breathe. I try to answer, but everything comes out as a choked sob. Peeta reaches around to wrap his arm around me, rubbing my back in comforting circles. When I finally get the words out, they’re incomprehensible with my stuttering breath, throat full of tears, and snot muffling everything. To anyone but Peeta, who knows me so well, past the need for language. 

“Why doesn’t she want me anymore?” 

“What brought all of this on sweet girl?” 

“You’re leaving me.” 

“Not real.” 

“Maybe not your arms. But you are. Your heart.” 

“Never Katniss.” 

Fat rain drops fall from his delicate eyelashes, leaving behind them a darker shade of blond from the moisture. 

“You’re right here Katniss.” His steady and warm hands take my hand that’s shivering from the cold. He guides it straight over his chest and the comforting thump of his heart beneath warms me more than his coat he wrapped tightly around me does. I blink at his motions, my mind puzzling and patching them together into an attempt at coherency. 

His other hand reaches towards me and he watches me closely for any sign of apprehension in my eyes. I can’t manage any to bubble up in me at the moment. Tentatively, he presses the pads of his fingers against my own chest, speeding up the beat of my own heart along with his under the firm press the palm of my hand has against it. His fingers straighten until the heel of his own hand is flush against my heart. The soaked fabric of my shirt clings to us both from the water of the rain. 

“And I’m right here.” The pitch of his voice sounds at the edge of a question and a statement. 

It’s not fair to him to be stuck with me though, just because he knows I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He deserves someone good and beautiful. Just like him. 

Not a girl scarred from the fire she wore for pageantry and glory. 

“I’m not pretty enough for you. I’m not big enough.” 

“Sweetheart.” 

“I wasn’t enough.” 

“Katniss.” My name breaks on his tongue; he physically can’t even force the muscles to move again, as if the ache in his chest is agonisingly painful from the blow of my words. I understand now. His heart is broken. Like I shot an arrow through him instead of the truth. Maybe I did, the day I sang to the birds in kindergarten and we’re forever tethered now from the invisible line of bow string to arrowhead. 

“I love you.” 

His beautifully made eyes well with tears, glossing the blue over with his pain. My eyes begin to water again, even after I’ve exhausted myself of the hydration required to sustain them. It’s not hard to feel what a man like Peeta feels for yourself, deep in your bones. 

“I came back for you. Back to twelve. Back to myself.”

“It kills me that you think you’re not enough. I’m so sorry I said those words in 13 to you. I know I’ll never be able to take them back. Or the-” He stares at my throat, where his hands once wove together into a nest of fear and pure hatred and I swallow under his gaze. “But I promise Katniss. I will remind you how beautiful and smart and brave and loving you are every single day. You are perfect for me.” 

“But you don’t want me.” 

“I’ve wanted you that way ever since I’ve understood what it meant.” 

But that doesn’t make sense. His constant distance and the sincerity behind his words clash within my mind. My brow furrows and my face deepens into a scowl.  

“Show me.” 

His eyes drag from their connection with mine, down to my lips. He looks back to me and his eyes widen with an emotion I’m all too familiar with. 

“I’m afraid.” 

“What?” 

“I’m afraid I won’t stop Katniss. They changed me. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“So don’t stop. You’re my Peeta. No matter what.” 

The kiss is gentle and sweet and I pull my body back against the rough bark, forcing him to lean into me even more. I cradle him between my thighs and smile against his lips. They taste like a fresh burst of blueberries on my tongue and my smile widens at the thought of him sneaking his own fresh muffin from the bakery’s supplies. The way his lips slide against mine, slick with the torrent of rain that assaults us is new and exciting. To consume the very rain itself off of his lip makes my chest flutter at the fact that not even the rain will get the chance to touch him that way so long as I remain in this embrace. 

He shifts slightly against me and I immediately panic at the feel of him in that way. My body stiffens straight under him and he pulls back from my lips with a sheepish grin. 

There’s an apology in his clear eyes but I won’t have that. I speak before his mouth can form the words.  

I blurt out in a pant. “I like kissing you.” 

I tuck my head into his shoulder to hide the blush that crosses my cheeks. But it’s too late. He’s already seen it if the dopey smile on his face is any indication. 

“I like kissing you too.” His lips find the small space of skin by my hairline that isn’t hidden. 

I scoot closer to him and burrow into his chest. 

And that motion was a big mistake. Or maybe the best mistake I’ve made today.

We both carreen down into the cushion of soft grass below us when I push Peeta off-balance. A giggle bursts from my mouth unbidden as I land mostly on top of him. His body bears the brunt of the fall but he seems completely fine and a goofy grin crosses his face. He leans up to me and my heart flutters when he pulls me in for another short, sweet kiss. I nestle my knees around his hips and pull back from him with a smile. 

I reach my hand to his ear and tuck a wisp of blond back behind his ear. The kisses and our proximity have made me bolder. Bold enough to interrogate him. “What is your little blonde girlfriend going to think about this?” 

He sits up to bring his upper body off the damp ground and my body follows him. 

“Who?” 

I roll my eyes at him. I hold a hand to my chest and bat my eyelashes at him. “Oh Peeta it’s been far too long.” 

“So that’s what this was all about. You were jealous?” 

“No.” I scowl, crossing my arms tight over my chest. 

“Katniss, she’s old enough to be our mother. Maybe even our grandmother.”

“Hmm.” My eyebrow twitches. “Maybe you’re into that sort of thing.” 

He wraps his arms tighter around my waist, deliberately lower than where they were last time. He looks into my eyes for any sign that he’s gone too far but I won’t give him any. With a light pressure, he squeezes my backside tentatively with a wolfish grin, as if he’s just gotten away with stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar. 

“What I’m into is what I have my hands full of right now.” 

“But seriously Katniss, she saved us from the bombing in the Capitol after I tried to drag you away. She visited us both but I was the only one awake when she did.” His eyes are tender as he brushes a sopping wet piece of hair off of my collarbone. “It’s only ever been you my darling girl.” 

“And it only ever will be?” 

“Always.”

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

PHIA SABAN INTERVIEWED FOR CONTENTMODE MAGAZINE.

CONGRATULATIONS ON HOUSE OF THE DRAGON! HOW HAS THE PROCESS BEEN SO FAR?

"Thank you! It’s a cool thing."

"When we’re working on it we’re in our own little microcosm with each other and those characters, and now it’s coming out and we’re seeing it all link up and become something else."

"It’s very new to me."

"Acting on screen still feels very new to me."

"I am so lucky to get to work with this group of people, they are so clever and loving."

"Recently we’ve been promoting the show and have been asked for opinions and explanations about our characters and the story."

"I’ve found it a new and funny facet of the job, to be asked sometimes to represent myself and speak from the character and for the bigger picture."

"It can feel different from acting, where you engage with the contradictions and spend more time with the mystery and the magic than the answers."

"I guess I’m saying that I’ve found this process contains multitudes."

"And watching the show is surreal — there are all my pals in wigs!"

MANY DIE-HARD GAME OF THRONES FANS HAVE READ THE BOOK SERIES AND ANTICIPATE PLOT POINTS IN THE TELEVISION SERIES. HOW DO YOU PROVIDE A FRESH TAKE ON FAMILIAR MATERIAL?

"It’s major to be part of something that people already feel passionate about, but it’s also exciting to have the chance to subvert expectations."

"It’s fun to make up little secrets that only you know about."

"As a viewer, I always like to be surprised anyway."

"I think it’s important (and fun) to have some irreverence for the genre so that you’re not patronizing your audience."

"The hope is to be part of something that challenges people!"

YOU'VE FOUND SUCCESS IN THE FANTASY AND DRAMATIC GENRES. ARE THERE ANY OTHER GENRES YOU'D LIKE TO EXPLORE?

"Yes! I miss being in plays so much."

"I cannot wait to be in the theater again."

"I’ve never been in a film, I’d love to make an independent one."

"Oh! To be in something people call a ‘picture’!"

"Recently I’ve been fantasizing about learning motion-capture and playing some sort of animal or creature."

"I’d love to be part of a suburban coming-of-age film, like the ones I obsessed over growing up."

"I’d like to do a great limited series, an intense crime one."

"And I could narrowly avoid being eaten by a shark, or an alien."

"I have dreams of doing a time-spanning project."

"I’d like to be the voice of an animation!"

"I‘d love to have a go at the present day."

"And maybe a dystopian future."

"And a Western?"

"I always want to do something funny."

"And strange."

"There are so many TA and filmmakers I admire (I won’t list them but they’re always being lovingly scribbled in my notebook.)"

"I’ll learn Norwegian and French for them!"

"I’m excited to keep finding new people too."

"More than all these, there are so many more things I hope to do, if I’m lucky."

"Not that I give it much thought or anything…"

HAS YOUR REAL LIFE INSPIRED YOUR APPROACH TO YOUR CHARACTER IN ANY WAY?

"Sometimes a character can be an expansion pack for your real life, like a new way to see things."

"So maybe it’s more that the fantasy inspires your real life!"

"It’s been really fun to explore Helaena’s interests."

"I’ve thought quite a lot about bugs."

"I get a huge kick out of investigating how her mind works and finding all the ways her’s overlaps with mine."

"I do lots of people-watching, which is great because now when I’m staring at people on the bus I can tell myself that I’m ‘working’."

WHILE FANTASY CAN SEEMS UNTETHERED FROM REALITY, DO YOU THINK IT CAN REFLECT THE REAL WORLD?

"Haha I hope so, otherwise that would be boring!"

"I suppose these stories are full of archetypes, which should mirror universal truths."

"But maybe that’s just good TV?"

WHAT TYPES OF NARRATIVED DO YOU FIND YOURSELF DRAWN TOWARDS WHEN READING SCRIPTS AND CHOOSING ROLES?

"Something surprising and honest that doesn’t tell me what to think!"

"And I love it when a script lets sad things be funny."

WHAT INSPIRES YOU AS AN ACTOR?

"Other actors, a lot."

"On a good day, almost everything can…"

"That might be one of the best things about being an actor."

[coraniaid]

5, 13, and 15 for btvs for the fandom ask game

#5 … the scene from it that lives in my head rent free.

Too many to choose from, really. Without thinking about it too much, I guess my top ten (in no particular order) is something like:

Buffy finding out that she's going to die fighting the Master in Prophecy Girl: "They say how he's going to kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? [...] Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't want to die." [Season 1 has its growing pains, but SMG's acting was incredible right from the start and this scene is no exception]

Buffy's confrontation with Ford in the Sunset Club at the end of Lie To Me ["you don't have a good choice but you have a choice" is the most memorable and most often quoted line, but the whole scene is really good and I think my rewatch last year cemented my belief that this is the period where the show really consistently starts to find its feet]

Buffy blowing up the Judge with a rocket launcher in Innocence (complete with the Judge's puzzled "what's that do?") [there's a reason this scene made it into the opening credits of Season 3]

The final scene of Becoming Part 2 (or really the multiple scenes in the few minutes after Buffy has just sent Angel to hell and leaves town while Full Of Grace plays in the background) [still one of the most effective season finales I've ever watched and, for my money, the best musical montage in the show's entire run (with apologies to the many Goodbye To You fans)]

The scene in Revelations where Gwendolyn Post visits Faith in her motel room and we really start to see how desperate Faith is for any hint of positive attention from an adult in her life [maybe not as obvious an example as some of the others on this list, but I've been thinking about this scene a lot this year]

The Amends porch scene ("Looked like that party thing was going to be a drag ... I didn't really have anything ... you know.") [yes, Faith, we all know]

Graduation Day Part 2's hospital dream sequence ("is this your mind or mine?" "Beats me"), complete with Buffy waking up, finding Faith still unconscious and gently kissing her on the forehead [the fact Whedon insisted this scene is entirely non-romantic while claiming that Buffy's relationship with Riley next season is an example of a 'healthy and happy' and 'normal' romance explains, I think, a good third of everything wrong with Buffy as a show (the other two thirds is mostly the racism)]

Faith-as-Buffy whaling on Buffy-as-Faith in the church in Who Are You? while Faith-as-Buffy screams abuse at herself through tears ("do you think I'm afraid of you? you're nothing ... disgusting ... murderous bitch ... you're nothing") [it's not subtle, but then Buffy isn't an especially subtle show]

The opening few minutes of The Body, up to Buffy's shocked reaction after she hears herself tell Giles that "...we're not supposed to move the body" [I genuinely still cannot bring myself to rewatch this; it's one of the most upsetting things I can remember seeing in a work of fiction]

Buffy clawing her way out of her own grave in Bargaining [in general I have kind of mixed feelings about Season 6 but this moment and in fact this whole two-parter is really well done]

#13 … which canon or popular fanon relationship I can't stand or feel 'meh' about and why.

I don't think I'm brave enough to answer this question in any detail.

Uh. There are a number of popular canon and fanon relationships in the show that I do not especially care about and try my best not to talk about to avoid getting into unnecessarily tedious arguments. Let's just leave it at that.

#15 … which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

Hank Summers.

OK, that's kind of a glib answer.

The truth is I don't think there are really any remotely sympathetic characters whose deaths would improve the show. I don't think any of the Core Four should have died. Obviously I don't think Dawn should have died. I don't think Robin or Kennedy or any more of the former Potentials should have died. And annoying as Andrew Wells often is (and interpreting 'sympathetic' rather generously) I think his story works better if he survives.

If Oz had died on leaving the show it would have made the writers' double standard around what happens when a woman breaks up with one of the Core Four as opposed to what happens when a man breaks up with one of them a bit less pronounced, I guess. But I don't think Oz's death in and of itself would improve the story; if anything I would have preferred Oz to come back to the show at some point and return to being a regular (and have to relate to the gang in a way beyond being Willow's boyfriend).

(There's a persistent rumour -- one that I don't believe -- that says that 'originally' Oz was going to die in Passion instead of Jenny Calendar. But, quite separately from my thoughts about Jenny's death, I don't think that would have worked thematically or really made any sense.)

And who does that leave? Olivia shouldn't have died [but she should have been on the show more]. Ethan shouldn't have died [but we should have seen him at least once more after A New Man]. Amy shouldn't have died [but she should have been written very differently when she came back to the show]. Harmony already dies once and I don't think the show would treat her second death any better. Drusilla just kind of vanishes after Crush (barring flashbacks), but I wouldn't have wanted her to die if she came back. Who else? Percy? Parker? Graham? I don't believe anyone cares about any of these characters (and obviously Parker at least is, uh, not sympathetic).

So, back to where I started.

I don't think Hank Summers' death would affect the story much, if at all [I genuinely don't know if Buffy and Dawn would ever even find out] and I don't think anybody who watches the show could possibly mourn him, but I'd certainly find it satisfying in a purely vindictive kind of way. So, yeah, let's go with that.

[darlingillustrations]

Will You Be My (Platonic) Valentine?

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I’m as shocked as anyone to realize this, especially since I haven’t had a serious romantic relationship in years. But February 14th isn’t just a day for traditional lovers. It is also the day I came out of the closet as queer. It is the day I chose to stand up and show the world who I am. It is a day about self acceptance.

It is a day on which I commemorate loving myself.

After my divorce I started a tradition. Each year for Valentines day, I ask a single friend of mine to be my Platonic Valentine. Every time I do, it creates so much joy and surprise that I can’t help but wonder why more people don’t do this.

There are so many ways to love and be loved. That’s part of what inspires my Affectionate Animal series, in which I strive to paint as many different expressions of loving connection as I can. To me, deconstructing what our ideas of “love” are and reconstructing something that works for us is what lies at the heart of being queer.

I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I haven’t even had a date in longer than I can remember. But I remain open and curious to what the universe has in store, and I believe in the power of connection.

Love saves us, in the end, from a world of isolation, both in the giving and the receiving.

If you would like to send someone a little love this Valentine’s Day, consider one of these ideas:

1. Mark the Calendar

Schedule a time to meet for drinks or take a walk and catch up. The anticipation of plans warms the heart as much as the actual plans themself. Quality time is one of the most cherished things we can share.

2. Write a Letter

Artifacts of our connections, like letters and notecards that we send through snail mail, have a way of anchoring our relationships with a weight that online “likes” and “reblogs” do not carry.

3. Potluck

Breaking bread together is one of the oldest forms of intimacy, and it doesn’t even have to be fancy to hold meaning. Invite a loved one over for spaghetti or pbjs. Light a couple candles to make it feel special. Or make time to play a board game afterwards.

4. Book Club

Read your best friend’s favorite book, then talk with them about it. This has been my favorite way to show my kid I love them lately, by reading the Percy Jackson books they are obsessed with, then watching The Lightning Thief TV shows on Netflix with them.

5. Early Spring Cleaning

Make a pact with your friend to each fill up a box with things you don’t need anymore and drop it off at a second-hand store together. Maybe even stay for awhile and thift something new to cherish once you get home.

We’ve all heard Marie Kondo’s mantra “Does this spark joy?” It’s time to apply that to your relationships, as well, and make time for the people who spark joy in your life by letting go of those who don’t.

6. Lend a helping hand

When you feel isolated or lonely, one of the most effective ways to dig your way out of that is to uplift others. Talk about your friend’s hard work or business online, raving about them. If your friend has an event or a project, spread the word about it. Use your voice to spread awareness of others’ dreams, and that will strengthen your connections.

7. Say “I love you.”

It’s so simple, but many of us go so long without hearing simple words of affirmation. It’s never too late to say it, and it’s never too much.

My Affectionate Animal series is available as art prints, notecards and stickers. You can buy them in my online shop.

[dsireland86]

There is Beauty in the Pain: Chapter 4 Pt.3

"Cause your love is fire warm I'll be the calm babe, before the storm You got me fallin' in love, in this bad dream" -bad dream- Nerve

TAGS: @lma1986 @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @thatamazingvampirestory

Folio:

“That hit her pretty fast. Do you think she’s okay?” Noah brushed the hair out of Sophie’s face. He was holding her still body, as they sat on the floor where she fell waiting for the situation to calm down. Noah nodded and kissed the side of her. “She’ll be okay,” he affirmed, giving me a half smile. I knew she would be, but still, watching someone go through something so intense as a panic attack was crazy when you don’t fully understand it. I didn’t, but I knew Noah did. When the events happened with Sarah a few years back, I didn’t think he was going to pull through, yet here he was. So I guess he was right; Sophie would be okay.

“Will you go grab some chocolate? I think Jolly left a bar on the kitchen counter." "Sure. What for?" "It helps calm the brain cells and the blood pressure." “Alright,” I agreed, walking away in search of what he needed. My head was reeling with so many questions and wondering if and how Sophie was going to pull through this. My head and my heart were being pulled into two different directions at this point and I didn't know how to feel about any of it. “This should work,” I said, grabbing the chocolate bar Noah was talking about. I took it back, sighing with relief when I saw Sophie sitting on the couch. “Will this work?” handing the chocolate to Noah. Sophie’s eyes met mine and I was glad to see they were less strained with worry. I smiled at her and my heart fluttered when she softly smiled back and reached for my fingers, lightly caressing their tips. It was just enough to ease the tension in me. “I’m okay,” she assured me. I shook my head. “No you’re not, but that’s okay. Like I told you before, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here.” She knew what that meant, and by the smile that finally reached her eyes, I knew she believed me. 

Sophie:

I hated myself. I should’ve had a much better grip on my anxiety. Perry was right when he said it would always make me weak. I cradled my head in my hands. Even though I felt a little better from the small bites from the chocolate Folio gave me, I still couldn’t shut my brain off. And I didn’t know how much worse it was about to get. 

Jolly handed me my phone and reluctantly I turned it on. The anticipation of knowing what I would find ate away at me, because like all the times before, I was sure Perry had called me or at least texted. He always did. He would apologize and later fill my apartment with flowers. It was nothing but a sick game that he loved to play. 

The missed call icon appeared at the top of my phone, standing out like a dark cloud on the sunniest day of the year, confirmed my fear. I thought I was prepared to face the truth, but I wasn’t, and the sudden feeling of falling ten thousand feet into nothing came over me like a tidal wave. Twenty-seven times he called me. Twenty-seven times he attempted to continue playing his sick, twisted game, but this time it was possible that I might have found the ending to it. But just the same, my eyes welled up with tears and I clenched my teeth together as I breathed slowly in and out through my nose to keep calm, refusing to let the anxiety take over me again. But I was weak, just like always, and eventually the demon took control. The phone fell out of my hands as Noah’s voice grew distant with the ringing in my ears growing louder. My demon had won again and was dragging back down to hell.

Noah:

I was very familiar with anxiety attacks like the one Sophie experienced. Anxiety was a fucking demon that had no sympathy. It had the power to bring anyone to their knees and make them believe they weren’t worth saving That's what happened to me. The constant loop of reminding myself my thoughts weren’t facts and anxiety always lied to me grew exhausting as I was trying to be stronger than I felt. This is what I was seeing with Sophie. She was fighting a battle she was never going to win unless she had help. I wanted to be that help.

Sitting calmly in the aftermath, Sophie was putting on a good front out of habit. But inside the battle was still raging on, hiding inside her mind in an effort to regain some sense of stability. Folio brought over the chocolate, giving her a piece and I watched the way she gravitated towards him. I don’t know why but I felt jealous when she reached for his hand. The way they looked at each other and the things I heard Folio say to her made those voices in my head scream loud. Breathing in deeply, I remembered what my therapist said about jealousy; “It’s a form of hatred built upon your insecurity.” I had no reason to be jealous of Nick or feel insecure in any way. He was my friend, my brother. I trusted him with my life. I should trust him that he’d respect the feelings between me and Sophie, as he would mine. The connections we both shared with Sophie were very different, but yet the same; we both deeply cared for her.

Jolly handed over her phone and she unlocked it. But from the moment she did, I knew something was wrong. Her body stiffened and a tear fell, softly sliding down her cheek. “Sophie, what is it?" But I had lost her. The anxiety came faster and the panic attack hit her quicker than before. “Just breathe Sophie,” I encouraged her, rubbing her back as she rocked back and forth gasping in between desperate gasps. “Noah, this is bad,” Nicholas pointed out, picking up her phone just as teardrops hit his hands. He paused, taking a moment to stare at them. He slowly looked up at Sophie and his face softened in a way like I’d never seen. “Hey, Sophie, there’s a good girl,” he said, grinning. “Can you hear me enough to listen to me?” Sophie slowly nodded. Nicholas’ voice was soothing, slowly working a magic that I never knew he had. “You’re okay. You’re safe; you’re protected. You know that, don’t you?” She nodded quickly. “Good. Can you take my hands?” Sophie gave Nick her shaky hands, exhaling a quivering breath. Nick massaged the tops of her hands, rubbing small circles on the skin, as he continued talking to her, carrying her through the attack. I sat back in amazement, never knowing he had it in him. 

“See, everything is okay. What's on the phone doesn't matter. What does matter is in this room with you.” Jolly handed Nicholas some tissues which he used to dry off Sophie's face, smiling at her as he did. “You're strong Soph. You're not weak. You have to believe that you are to fully work through all of this mess.” Sophie nodded, blowing her nose. Now that she was done crying she turned her face towards me and my heart shattered. She looked exhausted, worn out still from everything. Whatever she saw on my face was enough to make her tear up again as she fell into my arms and curled herself up into me. “Noah, you should see this,” Nicholas insisted after picking up Sophie’s phone and checking to see what triggered her, and then handed it to me. “He called me twenty-seven times, Noah. Who does?” Sophie muttered against my chest. I tensed, checking the phone to see that she was right. “I don’t understand why he just doesn’t leave me alone. Why does he love torturing me so much?” She began to cry again so I just wrapped my arms around her and held her tight while she clung to me and cried. The vibration of her phone still in my hand startled me and I almost dropped it, but the sound made Sophie spring up off me as if I were a burning hot coal or something. Her face filled with fear. “Hey it’s okay,” I told her, rubbing her arm. “It’s okay. I’ll check it okay?” She nodded, relaxing a little, putting her pin in when I handed it to her. She quickly handed it back like it was burning her hand. 

The text message icon was in the top left corner. Sophie had two new messages. The phone vibrated again. Three new messages; with Perry’s name and number attached to all three. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw tight, reluctantly pulling the bar down and opening the messages. The first one was a picture of him and Sophie together. I cringed the moment I saw him with his hands all over her. Even though this was a past photo, it enraged me to see them together. The message read

“This was us, baby. And I miss us.”

I wanted to vomit. The second one was a picture of just Sophie. But instead of her sweet, pretty face, there were bruises, a black eye, and a busted up bloody lip. Groaning, I knew what had happened moments before this picture was taken. Her eyes were closed, but the outside around them was moist. I was glad they were closed. I didn’t want to see the pain and fear that I knew were lingering in them. Peering down at Sophie, she had nestled back into me, but was wide awake and staring into nothing. I went back to looking at the messages.  

“Do you remember this? I do. It was the night I promised I'd never hurt you again. I lied.”

The last message was too hard to read.

“I hope you understand that everything I've done to you, you've deserved. I hope you understand that there were so many times I showed you mercy and didn't discipline you like I should have. Sophie, all the harsh punishment you've ever received was because you disrespected me. I won't be disrespected and you will come to know this; no matter the cost. Come back to me, my love, come back and I'll do better. I love you. I still want you. No matter what you do.”

“Holy shit, motherfucker,” I cursed. “What?” Sophie sat up, wiping her face and drying her eyes I didn't want her to see the last message and thought about deleting it, but that wasn't going to protect her from anything. It would only be lying to her, and I wasn't going to lie to her. Sophie stared at me, waiting for me to answer. Instead I just handed her back the phone. As she was reading, I got up and went to the kitchen, needing something to drink. Folio followed me.

“How bad is it?” I filled a cup with fridge water and drank the entire thing. “That motherfucker deserves to burn in fucking hell for what he's done to her Nick. Not only did he hurt her physically, but he took pictures and sent them to her.” Folio hung his head, shaking it in disappointment. “Animal,” I railed, hitting the counter top with my fist. “And that's just half of it. He told her she deserves what he does to her; that it's because she is disrespectful to him and that’s what makes him do what he does to her. The man is fucking sick. He’s deranged!” I balled my hands into fists again and closed my eyes. Hoping the anger would pass, I rubbed my neck, rolling my head, from side to side, trying to work out the tension. “Hey, Sophie’s out there crying,” Jolly stopped himself after one look at me. “What’s wrong with you?” “Nothing,” I shook my head, instantly burying the rage inside me once I heard Jolly say Sophie’s name. “What’s going on with her?” Jolly stared at me, skeptically. “She’s crying and asking for you.”

I didn’t wait to hear anymore. I walked out of the kitchen only feeling angrier. “Sophie, what’s wrong?” “He sent another message; a video” She held up the phone for me to see and I snatched it out of her hand a little harder than I meant to. It was a graphic short clip of Perry fucking another woman and he was looking right at the camera as he did. I shifted my eyes to Sophie. Her head was buried in her arms, shoulders shaking from her quiet sobs. Seeing her that way triggered the rage I thought I’d buried. Raising my arm, I howled in anger, about to throw the phone against the wall. “Wow, hey, Noah, don’t!” Nicholas yelled, grabbing my arm just in time. “Dude, what the fuck,” he said, grabbing Sophie’s phone from my grasp. I was breathing heavily, trying to calm down. Sophie was watching me and she was in shock. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” running my hands through my hair and squatting down eye level with her. “I’m sorry, okay. It just pissed me off seeing that clip.” “Why?” Her forehead creased with confusion as if she really didn’t understand why I was so angry. “What do you mean why? He shouldn’t have sent it to you. It’s disgusting and a fucked up thing to to do to someone.” She shrugged, looking away. “I’m used to it.” “Yeah, well you shouldn’t be.” “But I am, Noah. I am; I have been for a long time. I have to be,” she snapped, glaring at me.

“Besides, he’s right. I do disrespect him; a lot.” “I’m sorry, what?” I wasn’t sure I heard her right. “I have been really disrespectful to him, Noah. I shouldn’t have set him off back at the apartment. He only came to apologize, but I was stubborn and hard headed. I didn’t hear him out. He deserved better.” Sophie hung her head, sniffling back the tears. “You’re fucking joking, right? Please, tell me you’re joking.” She slowly shook her head. “Just drop it, Noah okay. Forget about it.” I stood to my feet, looking over at Nicholas. “No. I’m not gonna drop it, Sophie.” Jolly and Folio joined us once they heard the commotion. “Is she for real right now,” I said to Nick, motioning to Sophie with my hands. “Why is she protecting a monster?” Her sudden behavior change was infuriating. 

“I’m not protecting a monster, Noah. I’m protecting myself,” Sophie yelled at me, jumping to her feet. “You will never be able to understand how I feel, how I’m afraid all of the time.” “Then make me understand, Sophie!” “I can’t. I don’t know how to,” she sniffed, wiping away the tears that were falling. I scoffed, turning my back to her. “I don’t understand how you can’t explain it to me.” Sophie growled in frustration. “Why are you so freaking impossible, Noah.” The room went silent as we all stood in a somewhat of a circle, staring between each other and the floor. “Look, Noah, I already told you to drop it; implying I don't want to talk about any of it anymore, yet you keep insisting.” “That’s because I fucking care about you, Sophie!” “Yeah, well I didn’t ask you to care, did I?” I winced, stung by the words that just fell from her lips. It felt like she had just slapped me across the face, it hurt that bad. I didn’t know how to react or what to say for fear of hurting her, so I just stood there, speechless. “This isn’t about you, Noah. This is about me and my fucked up life that I’ve drug you and your friends into. None of you deserve this mess I’m in.” Sophie looked around at all of us, her tone and expression somber. The sadness I heard tore my heart. “I shouldn’t have gotten any of you involved in this. I’m sorry.” She lowered her head while taking a deep breath to try and compose herself before coming over to me. “Thank you for caring enough though,” she said softly, laying her forehead into my chest. I laid my hands gently over her neck and kissed her hair. “No one ever has because I have no one to care. My parents are both dead and I was their only child. Alex is the closest thing to family that I have, but he had his own life. That’s why Perry means so much even though he shouldn’t. He loves me in his own, fucked up, messed up way. And I need that love, Noah.” I pulled Sophie back to look at her. Hooking my finger under her chin, I raised her face and let my eyes wander over all the bruises of what she thought was love. I traced it lightly with my fingers, feeling the way she pushed into my touch, making my heart race. “But that’s not love, Sophie; that’s abuse. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. He just didn’t give a fuck. His reasoning, his excuses, his words,” I paused as she finally look into my eyes, “his actions, none of it was love; just heavy fucking manipulation that you endured because you had no other choice. Now you do, and it’s in this room with you.” My voice was soft, but my face was stern. I needed her to really understand that I wasn’t about to bail out and abandon her. I was in this with her now; we all were. “He doesn’t have a clue how bad he fucked you up, Sophie, and even if he did, I don’t think he would care,” Folio added. “But we do,” Jolly confirmed, giving her a soft smile. Sophie’s emotional wall broke again and she fell into my chest crying. “He abandoned me, over and over again,” she cried, raising her fists to my chest. “He ignored me and hurt me, only to come back and tell me how much he loved me. I just wanted him to really love me, not fucking destroy me!” Her small firsts pounded into me, and even though it didn’t hurt, I could feel the angst, the hurt, the pain she was releasing. And I was more than willing to take it all if it meant she would feel better. “People don’t abandon people they love. People abandon people they’re using, Soph,” Nicholas affirmed her, caressing her hair. “I know. I know,” she agreed, raising her head and breathing deeply. “I just, I don’t know. I was just wishful thinking the whole time I guess.” She let out a little sarcastic laugh. 

Cupping her face in my hands, I gently dried her eyes with my thumbs, noticing the way the feeling made her wince, but she smiled anyway. "I don't have any answers for you," I began, shaking my head as hair fell over my eyes. Her small hand reached out and sweetly brushed it away, trailing her fingers down the side of my face as she did and I placed a small kiss on her wrist. "And I'm not going to lie to you and tell you everything's going to be okay because I don't know if it will be. You have a lot to deal with; you have a lot of choices to make."

Sophie's head fell, but I wasn't going to let her linger in her thoughts alone. I lifted her head with my finger under her chin to look into her eyes. "But you won't be doing it alone. Whatever happens, whatever you're going to face, I'll be, we’ll all be here to help you face it." The hesitation to not believe me was there; the apprehension was clearly visible. “Don’t play with me, Noah. I don’t trust easily.” I shook my head, giving her a soft smile. “I’m not playing with you, Sophie. I’m one hundred percent serious.” “When I tell you “I trust you”,” she stopped. Inhaling deeply, Sophie closed her eyes, then exhaled. “Please, don’t make me regret it, please don’t make me regret showing you my brokenness.” When she reopened her eyes, they were glistening with tears, but she refused to let any of them fall. I took a moment to allow her words to sink in. I understood what she was asking of me and I knew, in times, it would prove to be difficult. But I was willing to try. Sophie needed me to try. Since the day Sarah left me the way she did, I’d been looking for a reason to love someone the way I loved her. But I never found that reason; until now. That reason was standing in front of me, begging me to not give up on her. And I wasn’t about to. Taking her face in between my hands I made her this promise; “If you promise to stay, I promise to never leave. I don’t want to fix you. I know I can’t heal you, but I can help you see how beautiful your brokenness is even if you don’t think so. Each little cracked piece fits into the masterpiece of who you’re becoming, but also who you are right now. And, right now, I see a beautiful soul; your soul, Sophie. I won’t make you regret trusting me if you won’t regret believing in me.” I thought I was going to feel pangs of regret saying those words, but I didn’t. Instead I felt the opposite. Sophie looked at me even more confused than before. “I know absolutely none of this makes any sense, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to. Just trust me when I say I won’t hurt you, okay?” She nodded then fell into me, curling herself into my arms. I was becoming aware of how often she did this and I was growing to deeply love each time she did. I held her close to me, putting aside my own fears and worries for the time being. I could deal with my shit later. Right now, my goal was to help Sophie get better, and I knew I wasn’t alone. 

He leaned against the wall with his arms folded over his chest and his eyes fixed on me and Sophie. I’d known him long enough to know that he didn’t fall easily or get hooked by a girl simply because he thought she was pretty. No, when he was interested, he was all in; no matter the cost, no matter the pain that would come if rejected, no matter if he gave her all of his heart only to have it shattered. I saw the way he looked at her; like she was the best thing to walk into his life. I knew exactly how Folio was feeling; because I felt the exact same way.

CHAPTER 5 PT.1

[nikethestatue]

The Paperman

Elriel Month 2023

I don't even know what the prompt is, but I wrote this. Thanks to @gracie-rosee for suggesting Paperman.

It's short and has language.

For A. 

Always the man of my dreams

When you know, you know, right?

And I knew. 

I knew that the girl with the big brown cow eyes–maybe doe eyes would be more appropriate–would be irreversibly tied to me. In some strange, cosmic way, in that sugary sweet Nicholas Sparks loopy, wordy nonsense, I just felt it. In my gut. My dick. My brain. Don’t want to say heart, but I have to admit, in my heart too. 

Brown-eyed girl was the girl. 

Only problem is, I didn’t know who the girl with the cow eyes was. Or how to find her.

It was a blustery day, so common in April, in Chicago. The weather playing mind games with the occupants of the city, taunting them with warmth and sunshine in the morning, only to plunge the temperatures to near freezing by the afternoon. Ha. Ha. Ha. Suckers!

I was standing on the CTA platform that morning, opting not to take the car to work, and now berating myself for that. ‘It’s a nice spring day’ they said. ‘A little windy’ they lied. It wasn’t nice and it wasn’t a ‘little windy’. Like a dumbass, I decided to walk to work, and not 3 blocks in, I was fucking freezing. Now, I am a big guy. I am 6”6 (like I said, I am a big guy), and you’d think that big guys, with 4% body fat and a couple of stints in Afghanistan back in the 2000s would be okay with the wind and the cold that was coming off the lake. I don’t know what it was about me–maybe it was that back then, I was in my early 20s, running hot all the time, or maybe it was my huge ass beard, or all the velcro gear that I had to schlep around on my body–but now that I was 34, I sure couldn’t tolerate the cold quite as well as I did back then.

Hence, me standing on the open platform, waiting for the train. Freezing my nuts off.

And then, Miss Thing saunters in. And to me, she is the best thing since…forever. Forget sliced bread. All I hear in my head is ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC. Or AccaDacca as my Aussie friends call it. 

So I stand there, in the howling wind, under the shade of the old timey skyscrapers, shivering like a wet poodle in only my suit…and…

I am falling in love.

Like, legit falling in love. 

Tumbling.

Because cow-eyes is perfection. 

I find myself thinking that she is everything that I’d ever wanted.

I am not a white picket fence kind of a guy, but if there was a girl that i’d trade my loft for, and end up in the suburbs with, mowing the lawn every Sunday and going to Costco to pick up 96 rolls of toilet paper–this is the girl I’d do it for. 

I am hoping she is not one for the Costco trips: because if she is perfect, if she is mine, if she is carved out of my own damn rib, if she was placed here, on this platform because she belongs to me, then Miss Cow Eyes isn’t a Costco girl.

But I don’t even care. 

I stare like a creeper, because if I close my eyes, I fear that she’d just disappear and I’d have to be committed, due to some intense nervous breakdown, because I let MY GIRL go and didn’t approach her.

Now, here’s where being 6”6 sucks. 

Yeah, I got a nice Italian bespoke suit on, and my watch costs more than a house, but I also got neck tattoos, hand tattoos, Freddy Kreuger-level scarred hands, and I am 6”6 and I scare the ladies even on a good day. Yeah, I fucked a lot, still do–though now that I am in love with Cow-Eyes, I am going to be faithful forever–but the girls I fuck(ed) were still cautious, and only found their courage after the help of some alcoholic liquids. They are never disappointed when they say ‘yes’ and take a walk on the wild side with yours truly, but Cow-Eyes doesn’t seem like that kind of a girl.

She is like…pure. 

Not sure. 

Maybe she is not pure, but she is a good girl. 

She’s got a cute pink and gray checkered coat on, she’s got cute white Adidas skater shoes on, cute jeans, and a cute pink beanie, on her extremely cute head. Waves of golden brown hair whip around her perfect face, smacking around the red-painted lips that I am absolutely sure I will kiss one day. And do some other very objectionable, but very hot things with. The sight of her makes me think depraved thoughts, even though she is just standing there, being all cute, clutching a leather folder to her chest. The chest–I also want to do unmentionable things with.

Here I am, suffocating with love and lust, and Cow-Eyes has no idea and the wind is just brutal. 

A gust hits us so hard, it almost knocks her off her feet. She takes an awkward Bambi step, trying to hold on to all her crap, and I, being a gentleman and a dick, let her fall right into me. Into my ever-loving arms she stumbles, clutches my biceps with her little hands that have short, imperfect nails, and her sweet Altoids-y breath washes over me, as I hold her up. She smiles at me, all cute and flustered, and I smile like a shark, because I smell the delicious scent of fresh meat. My meat. This will all be mine, very soon.

The rumble of the upcoming train sends me into a sudden panic. 

Are we sharing the same train?

Is she hopping on one and I am on the other?

Are we destined to miss each other like two ships in the night? Nope. Not if I have anything to do with it.

Cow-Eyes is blushing like a virgin, touched for the very first time, and I don’t want to let her go, but I also don’t want it to be weird.

It’s already weird, because I am in love with her, and she doesn’t know it. She doesn’t know that she will be in love with me too. Like this is how weird this is–here I am, staring at the future mother of my children (I am hoping for twins, boy and girl, but I am flexible), and the love of my life is trembling in my arms, not knowing that I will be attempting to impregnate her pretty soon (with consent, don’t worry).

The crowds swell and she separates from me, while another gust of wind almost fells us all down. In this instance, all it does is it makes her lose hold on her folder, and out flies a piece of paper that smacks her right in her perfect face. 

I am losing her. She is fleeing my arms and I am feeling hollow and fucking empty, like she just tore a piece of my soul and took it with her. Dismayed, I watch her shoulder her way inside the train car, and she gives me a look…And I fucking freeze. Because the look is raw and full of understanding. Like she’d known me all of my life. Like she understands every strand of my being and every fucked up thought in my head. Cow Eyes blink at me, and the doors close and I watch her go. Away. Without me. 

I am so discombobulated, I feel as if a limb was severed and her phantom presence is still with me, the scent of perfume and Altoids marks my skin, my shirt, but she is not here.

Dazed. I am dazed and confused, and I watch the train snake forward, feeling like a new bride watching her lover go off to war never to see him again. 

Fuck.

How do I find a girl in the city of 5 million?

My girl.

My Cow Eyes. 

My beautiful girl who is cute head to toe and who’ll have me as a husband, and will never lose me in the crowd, because she can always spot a 6”6 monstrosity with neck tats. 

Now, who is dry humping my leg?

I look down, and there is a piece of paper wrapped around my pant, stuck there and held up by the wind. Thanks buddy! Never loved the wind as much as I love it right now. There is a rowdy looking pigeon that’s eyeing my paper like a bastard, or maybe it’s the remnants of the burrito that someone graciously tossed right on the platform, because throwing it out in a garbage bin is too much work apparently. Anyway, I don’t care, because I beat the pigeon to it and sweep the paper up in my hand, before he flies into my leg like a bull attacking a matador. I nudge the burrito towards him–buon appetito, pal–and look at the paper.

First thing–there is a perfect imprint of my girl’s lovely lips right on the paper. It’s smeared a bit, as she’s been sucki-

Okay, focus. Time for that later. The pouty outline of her lips is pure deliciousness, but I am not after spank bank material right now. Priorities and all.

It’s an invoice of some kind. To a tattoo shop.

What?

My girl looks like she’d faint at the sight of needles, but maybe I am totally misreading her? What if babygirl has a sleeve going? I mean, even I am doubting that this is the case, but why the heck would she have an invoice for some dude named Martin Scalia for $350 from Jade Eyes Tattoo and Piercing Parlour, LTD. Props to the British spelling of ‘parlor’--a classy move–but Jade Eyes??? They literally have some kind of unfathomable connection to Cow-Eyed Girl and they call it ‘Jade Eyes’? Dumb.

-

I am pensive and kind of an asshole for the rest of the day.

I have Martin Scalia’s invoice sitting on my desk in my office, and I am staring at the slightly smeared lipstick imprint like I am deranged. 

I am deranged.

I have an 800 million deal that I am working on, but all I can think of is my girl. I look out at the vast expanse of the city, its skyline dotted with an endless number of skyscrapers, all looking like overly erect dicks, the dickest of which is of course the Trump Tower. And somewhere, in this Forest of Dicks, is my girl. Who is currently not with me, and that’s just throwing me. She should be resting her sweet ass on my lap right now, looking at me adoringly, calling me ‘my love’ or ‘master’ and eagerly thinking of what I would do with her once we get home. Instead, she is gallivanting somewhere unknown to me and it’s irritating as fuck. 

My buddy Cass sticks his big head in the door of my office and asks me if I am in love, because I am, apparently, mooney-eyed. He snags a look at Martin’s invoice and the lipstick smear, then grins like an asshole and leaves me be, while whistling ‘Strangers in the Night’. I love him as much as I hate him. But mostly love. I only love two people–Cow-Eyes and Cass.

I am sprinting out of the office and onto the street like a young buck. I am a young buck. Or maybe, a middle-aged buck, but I have a plan and it’s giving me wings. I get into an Uber and we drive all the way to UIC, which, in my opinion, is still a neighbourhood that’s shady as fuck. I hope that my girl is safe walking around here. 

The car drops me off at the infamous Jade Eyes Tattoo shop.

I am gonna be honest here, I didn’t give this too much thought.

My brain is so full of my Cow-Eyed girl, that there is absolutely no space left for anything else. Like planning. Like not being a creeper and just barging in. Or considering that she might not even be there. Why would she be? Maybe she is an accountant and this is her client? I guess I can beat the shit out of the tattoo guys and demand to know the whereabouts of their sexy, gorgeous, perfect, incredible, stunning accountant who will be my wife, though I prefer not to go that route. I try to be peaceful. Usually. 

Also, she cannot be an accountant.

She is definitely a writer. Yes. She writes dark romances. I can feel it.

So….I actually don’t have a plan.

But I walk in anyway and figure I’d play it by ear. 

And there she is. The beanie is off and her golden hair is gilded by the light, gleaming light the sun at dawn.

Those large brown eyes flicker and blink, and she recongises me. The moment is right there. Seared into my memory forever. She blinks. And she knows me. She knows me through time and space, like I know her. She is my girl. It’s inevitable.

When you know, you know. Right?

“Go on a date with me,” I order.

“Okay,” she says. 

[thebroccolination]

Be My Favorite - Intro

WELCOME TO KEY’S SUMMER FIXATION SERIES. \:D/

Hello! I’m Key, and I’ll be your Be My Favorite historian and enthusiast.

I’ve been really excited for Be My Favorite ever since the series was first announced in December of 2021. The premise grabbed me right away since I’m a big fan of time loops (please watch Triage if you haven’t already, I’d say it’s the strongest BL series to date), and Krist’s one of my favorite actors, so it was an instant five stars of anticipation for me. Then in September of 2022, Gawin (another favorite of mine) was cast, and I had a dream casting I think I might have joked about once. (So I did this, you’re welcome.)

Whoever cast Gawin, I’ll send you a basket of whatever you love and aren’t allergic to.

THE CASTING HISTORY

Be My Favorite had a rocky road to casting.

From what I’ve been able to follow, it was initially meant to be a KristSingto comeback vehicle. (Their last BL together was the SOTUS Our Skyy episode in 2018.) However, in 2022, Krist tentatively told fans at a fan meeting that Singto’s schedule didn’t work out with filming. Seeing as GMMTV didn’t want Krist acting in BL series without his brand partner, I think they knew Singto wasn’t planning to renew his contract, so they cast Mike instead. Personally, I was excited to see Krist step outside his comfort zone with a different actor, and he’s close to Mike, so I figured it’d be a good match. I was also happy for Singto, because he’s wanted more independence in his career. He’s into photography and directing, he’s made his own studio, formed his own fan club in Japan, etc. (I think it’s likely he and Krist will work together again, though. They’re still very close, they play video games online with their friends from university fairly regularly, and Singto went out of his way to organize a KristSingto concert in December of 2022 through his Japanese fan club. KS used to hold their GMMTV-sponsored concerts there annually before the pandemic, so I think it was both a “final chapter” to one part of their lives and evidence that they can collaborate again if they want to.)

I didn’t have strong feelings about Mike’s casting. I haven’t seen him in much, but I liked him in the teaser, and he’s already close to Krist, so I was on board. After seeing Singto improve through his series with other actors (something he might have had to fight for, but that’s pure speculation), I was just excited for Krist to get the same opportunities.

And then…Gawin. [seventeen sparkle emojis]

As I said on Twitter the day Gawin’s casting was announced, “I could not be more pleased and delighted that I’ve built a reputation for myself that makes people think, ‘Krist and Gawin? QUICKLY, LIGHT THE FIRES AND TELL KEY,’” because I woke up to not one but three separate friends letting me know about it.

I went from excited to feral in the four seconds it took my brain to go from, “This can’t be real,” to, “Finally, bizarre breaking news that isn’t actively traumatizing.”

Truly, I have to hand it to Krist, because he's wanted this project to do well from the start, and he's stuck with it and worked hard on it through potentially three scene partners. And he really seems to have grown and learned from Gawin, so good on him.

THE WRITER/DIRECTOR

My one worry was that I haven’t enjoyed most of Jittirain’s adaptations.

But then I found out that the director, Waa, directed The Gifted and also has screenwriting experience. Krist has worked with Waa before and speaks highly of his process. There are a lot of scenes in the first episode of BMF that seem very clean and well edited, so I have hope.

On top of that, I’ve also seen fans mention that Be My Favorite is “inspired by” Jittirain’s novel, not adapted from it, which I think is a crucial distinction. (I don’t know the source for that, but I want it to be true, so I’ll believe it for now.)

Krist has said that they changed a lot from the novel, and based on what I know, the first episode has already departed quite a bit, so I have put my faith in Waa.

POSTPRODUCTION

For many reasons, some series just get the short stick with the amount of postproduction and budget they get. Some series are still filming as they start airing, some have budget cuts during production, etc.

Filming for Be My Favorite began on November 19th, 2022 and wrapped two months ago on March 24th. That same day, Waa shared on Twitter that he’d be starting work on intense editing right away. That was a great sign to me. With filming complete and two months of postproduction, he was almost certainly able to do a cleaner job than if he’d had to struggle under continued filming and simultaneous editing while the show was airing.

Also, BMF definitely seems to have money behind it. For example, this upgrade from the trailer to the first episode. In the trailer, as Kawi makes his first trip to the past, there's a bright, swirling glow around him.

When the episode aired, the effect looked a lot cleaner and had scenes from future episodes woven in.

Also, I loved this transition shot with the blurry background, and the dandelion seed floating across the screen was a cute detail, since that's the flower in the time loop globe.

Little things like like this tells me they’ve had the time to do this series well, and that there's a lot of love and effort going into it.

THE ACTING COACH

This February, the acting coach for BMF did an interview (1 & 2) that I really enjoyed. She said she’ll be sharing a video of their workshop now that the series is airing, so I’m keeping an eye out for that.

THE ACTORS

Like I said, I love both of them. I first watched SOTUS and the Kiss series in 2020, so I became a fan of both right around the same time.

In April of 2022, I made a top ten list of what I thought were the best acting performances up to that point. Krist was on it, and so was Gawin. I admire both of them a lot, and I think they’ve both improved tremendously over the years.

Krist, from what I can tell through interviews, leans toward method acting. For example, in the scene I included on my list above, Arthit was apparently meant to cry a few lines later on, but Krist lost it earlier than scripted because in order to channel the emotion he needed for the scene, he imagined how he’d feel when Singto followed through with a long-time dream of studying overseas. It ended up one of their strongest scenes together because it was genuine.

Meanwhile, Gawin was interviewed in November of 2022, and while I think the whole interview is a great read, I wanted to emphasize this part:

“When I prepare for a role, I really have to dig into the story of the script,” [Gawin] explains. “Sometimes they do the last scenes of the series on the first day of being on set. So, you have to be really prepared with the entire story. You’ve got to know the whole thing, what emotions that character went through, and the changes with that character.” 

I think part of what makes Krist and Gawin a good combination is that they’re strong actors with different energies who might just have different ways of preparing for a role. I’d love to hear both of them talk in more detail about their processes, but it seems to me like Krist looks inward for personal experiences to connect with the character, and Gawin creates the character he’s playing based on research.

Another interesting point is that In that same interview, Gawin says he thinks Saifa from Enchanté most resembles his personality (easygoing, music lover, etc.), but he got his start as Mork from the Kiss series (attitude issues, perfect sasspot, etc.). Meanwhile, Krist had an easy link to his first major role, Arthit, in that he’d also been head hazer in university. So Krist started his career able to access a common point with his character, so that might’ve influenced his approach to future roles. Whereas Gawin started off with a character completely unlike himself, so he started from a place of more emotional detachment and probably a more research-oriented approach.

Also, they just seem to have connected on a personal level.

Working with someone so different gives actors the opportunity to learn from each other. When interviewed, Gawin said he and Krist discovered they have a lot in common, and it seems like they bonded over music and spent a lot of time on set singing together. (Their harmonizing is genuinely beautiful.)

Krist’s OST for the series is one of my favorites and Gawin has a ballad coming up later in the series, but I hope they give them a duet at some point. (It’d be a huge missed opportunity if they don’t.)

CATS???

One of the sponsors for the series is fucking Wiskas.

This could just be because Krist is their brand ambassador. (The man has four cats. He has an army to feed.)

OR there is a feline presence in the show. If this is true, I will die, because Triage, series of my soul, also had cats in it.

Listen, I will send TWO baskets of whatever Waa likes if he's enabled me to make the "if I had a nickel for every time there have been cats in a Thai BL time loop series, I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" joke.

CONCLUSION

Big fan! Love it all! (PLEASE CATS.)

I’ll leave this here as an introductory post, and I’ll make separate posts for my individual episode thoughts using #key watches bmf.

[rebelwrites]

Winner Takes It All || Three: Living In The Past - Charles’ POV

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: Charles is having a hard time, four years down the line he shouldn’t still have Valentina on his mind but no matter how hard he try’s he can’t help it

Warnings: sad Charles, Mentions of a manipulative girlfriend

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

November 2013

The mustang sat on the driveway with a large black bow on the bonnet, I couldn’t help but smirk knowing exactly how Valli was going to react when she saw it. This had been her dream car ever since she was old enough to drive a kart.

This was one of the hardest secrets I ever had to keep from her but it would be so worth it.

“You ready?” Pierre grinned as he joined me on the driveway, letting his eyes run over the candy apple red Mustang.

“Let’s go see the birthday girl.” I nodded, waving the bunch of flowers in the air.

Before we could move away from the car Valentina came running out of the house, instantly froze when she spotted the Mustang.

“Urm, what is this?” Vali breathed, blinking back the tears.

There weren't very many times that I had seen this girl speechless but this was one of them. She wasn’t meant to see this just yet. Me, Pierre, her dad and Jules had everything all planned out and this definitely wasn’t it.

Placing the bunch of flowers in the wall I engulfed Vali in a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head as everyone else came out onto the driveway.

“We thought it was time you stop whining about this bloody car.” Her dad smirked, shoving his hand in his blazer pocket fishing out the key for the car. “Buon compleanno, mia dolce ragazza. Happy birthday, my sweet girl.”

“This is a present from all of us,” Jules beamed, pulling Vali from my arms, spinning her round in a circle like she was still 5 years old. “Question is who gets the first spin?”

Valentina pulled back from Jules raising her brow at him with a wide smirk on her face before she wiggled out of his grip practically running to the driver's door.

“Leclerc, vieni o no?. Leclerc, are you coming or not?” she shouted as she effortlessly sunk into the driver’s seat.

Quickly Pierre removed the black bow from the metal of the car. Without a second thought I joined Vali in the car, watching as her eyes lit up the moment she started the car up and the V8 engine roared.

“Nugget, do not wrap this around a tree.” Pierre winked, causing her to flip her middle finger up at him as she reversed off the drive.

Present Day

Leaning against the railing of the yacht I couldn’t help letting my mind wander, I knew I shouldn’t have but it was an instinct I couldn’t control.

Even four years later I found myself letting the memories me and Valentina shared play like a move. I knew it was wrong especially with Becky laying on the sun loungers less than 100 yards from me but once I started on the Valli thought train there was no stopping it.

Every day I found myself thinking of her at random points of the day, she always found a way to creep into my mind no matter how hard I tried to block her out.

The sun was starting to rise across the Moroccan sea, this was one of my favourite places to be other than on the track. It gave me time to clear my mind.

Pulling my phone out I found myself pulling up Valentina’s instagram, it was a bad habit of mine. I sighed heavily when there weren't any new posts, swiping off her profile I started aimlessly scrolling pausing when I saw the post from Pierre.

So she was in Italy with Pierre.

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them at a coffee shop, everyone knew that Valentina was a huge coffee addict. If that girl didn’t have coffee then it was game over. Even though she had her sunglass on something told me the look of mischief was twinkling in her eyes, just the sight of her made my heart skip a beat. In a way this wasn’t fair on Becky but then again I also didn’t give a fuck she was the reason I was unhappy, the reason that I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.

I knew that I should have come clean about what happened but I couldn’t, Becky made that perfectly clear. She was blackmailing and manipulating me because she knew I would do anything to protect Valli’s secret come out. If I tried to I break up with Becky then she would tell the world about Valli’s police record and there was no way I was letting that happen so I did the one thing I swore I’d never do.

I broke her heart.

Running my hand over my face I quickly wiped away a tear that had slipped down my cheeks. I thought I was protecting Valli but I hurt her even more.

“Charles,” Becky called from the sun lounger.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. Even after four years I still couldn’t stand the sound of her voice but there was nothing I could do about it.

“Yes, darling.” I hummed, locking my phone, slipping it into the pocket of my hoodie.

“I’m bored, can we go home?” she whined.

“I mean we haven’t been here that long but yeah sure.” I nodded, trying not to show how annoyed I was. She knew that I loved spending the mornings on the yacht watching the sun rise but she didn’t care. She never did. “Let me just make a phone call and then we will head off.”

I didn’t give her a chance to respond before I walked off into the cabin of the yacht. I needed to speak to Pierre, I just needed to know if I was able to see Valentina over the off season, I missed all three of us being together and I know it was my fault.

Hitting Pierre’s name I pulled my phone to my ear letting my eyes close at the sound of the dialling tone buzz in my ear.

Sighing when it went to voicemail, this wasn’t unusual. Ever since I walked out on Valli four years ago everything changed. Pierre and I were perfectly fine when it was racing season, it was like nothing had changed but whenever we weren't racing he was with Valli and we hardly spoke.

I needed to stop living in the past, I couldn’t change the past no matter how hard I tried.

-

Walking back into my childhood home, I was instantly greeted by my mother. The tight embrace she pulled me into made me feel safe. Once again Becky made her presence known by moaning she was thirsty.

I didn’t miss the eye roll that came from mum, she didn’t try to hide the fact she hated Becky.

“Tu sais où est la putain de bouilloire. You know where the fucking kettle is.” Mum snapped, causing both me and Lorenzo to wince. It wasn’t often she lost her cool but when she did we all knew to run.

Ducking from her arms I shuffled to the kitchen, greeting my older brother with a hug. I chose to ignore the questioning look from him as Becky strolled into the kitchen, huffing at the fact my mum didn’t offer her a drink.

“How long are we staying here?” Becky asked, running her fingers up my back.

“I told you last night, we are staying for the two weeks for Christmas.” I nodded, thanking my back was facing her as I pulled a face to Lorenzo. “This has been planned for months now. So if you don’t want to be here, order an uber or something because I am staying.”

A deathly silence fell across the room, I was actually proud of myself for standing up for myself, there was no way I was bailing on Christmas with my family.

Becky didn’t say anything, she huffed like a toddler that wasn’t getting their way before she stormed out of the house, letting the door slam behind her.

“Well, that answers that question.” Lorenzo chuckled, pushing past me to grab a couple of beers from the fridge. “Pourquoi es-tu toujours avec elle ? Why are you still with her?”

I just shook my head at my older brother. “I can’t tell you,” I shrugged, taking the bottle from him and followed him outside to join the rest of the family. “But I don’t wanna talk about it, I just want to enjoy my time with you lot.”

Sinking onto the outdoor sofa, mum pressed a kiss to the top of my head as she walked by.

Once again my mind was in overdrive, more memories of Vali popped into my mind and I couldn’t stop them.

July 2017

The sound of Valentina’s laugh was all I could focus on, it didn’t matter about the music that was playing, all that mattered was her.

Watching my girl run around the garden in a pair of denim shorts and bikini caused my heart rate to increase. This is what I loved, nothing was more important than family time and Vali got that coming from a close knit family herself. The garden was full of people that I saw as family.

“Sharl, come on, stop being boring.” Valli shouted across the garden, resting her hands on her hips staring me down from across the garden. The smirk on her face made me weak at the knees. I honestly had no idea what she was wanting me to do but I would do anything she wanted.

“What are we doing sweetheart?” I grinned, pushing myself off the sofa, making my way across the garden to her.

As soon as I was close enough I pulled her into my arms, pressing my lips against hers causing a few whistles to echo around us.

“We set up a mini RC race track.” Valli grinned, her eyes shining bright with excitement. “I needed a team mate.”

“Pass me that controller, you goof.” I chuckled, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.

Present Day

“Are you even listening to me?” Mum scolded, clipping me round the sound of my head.

“Sorry,” I sighed, running my hand over my face. “Got lost in my thoughts again, what did you say?”

This was getting ridiculous now, I couldn’t even hold conversations anymore without my mind drifting, this was getting worse and time went on. I would have thought four years down the line things would have gotten easier not harder.

“I said I spoke to Valentina the other day.” she said softly, taking my hand in hers. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked at me. She saw Valli as her own daughter, the one she never got.

“How is she?” I asked, refusing to make eye contact with mum in fear I was going to end up crying.

“You know what she is like, she is good at masking the truth.” Mum whispered, brushing her thumb over my hand. Her movements were soft and slow like I was going to break any second and the truth is I wasn’t fair off. “Why don’t you reach out to her?”

“Après tout ce que j'ai dit, tout ce que j'ai fait. Il n'y a aucun moyen de réparer ça. After everything I said, everything I did. There's no way to fix this.” My voice was breaking as I spoke, the tears were threatening to spill over my lash line. “Il n'y a aucune chance qu'elle me pardonne un jour. Elle ne comprendra pas pourquoi j'ai fait ça. There is no way she will ever forgive me. She won't understand why I did this.”

Shaking my mum’s hand off mine I needed to go for a walk, I needed to try and clear my head even though I’d never be able to get peace.

My heart always belonged to her and it always would.

Valentina Hendrix was the one who got away.

@chibsytelford @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @stillbreathin @angywritesstuff @miamedyu @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @micks-afterglow @livo67 @buendiabebeta @pleasedontfollowinlost @ferrarifwendvale @hungryhungarian @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @sunf1owerrq @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @sessgjarg @derpinathebrave @idkiwantchocolatee @littleobsessionsandlifeslessons @alynoa @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @organasith

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

You didn't actually think I would miss this, did you? (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Just a short little fic for Tobin's birthday. Not really edited so mind any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

Between work getting busy and studying, life has been busy lately so writing has unfortunately been put on the back burner so fics might take longer than usual. My final essay is due in less than 2 weeks so hopefully I'll have more time to write after that!

Words: 1.4k

Y/n: Nobody on earth can make me feel the way you do. Everyday I wake up you continue to amaze me in every way possible. Your kindness, empathy and compassion are what make you the most amazing woman I've ever known. Please never stop being the beautiful, confident and sexiest person that I am madly in love with. Everyday I am blessed to have you by my side. I hope today is filled with love, friendship, surprises and fun. Thank you for going through life with me. Happy birthday my love. I love you today and always.

Toby: Thank you baby. There's no one I'd rather go through life with than you. I love you so much.

Toby: I wish you were here with me today... I miss you

Y/n: I miss you too Toby. We'll see each other soon. I'm sure you'll have an amazing day regardless. I wanted to have this text ready for you to wake up to, but I got busy :(

Toby: It's okay, facetime later?

Y/n: Wouldn't miss it. I have to go, but I'll message you a bit later. I love you

It was Tobin's birthday today. We had been together for 7 years and this was the first birthday that we would be apart for. Since we started dating, we had always made sure to be with each other on our birthdays. This year though, I was playing in Europe meaning I couldn't be there this year. Well that's what she thought anyway. I was out for a couple of weeks with an injury and coach had agreed that I could return to the states as long as I kept up with physio. 

Tobin's birthday happened to fall in the middle of a national team camp. One that I couldn't attend due to being injured. I knew they would be planning something so I had reached out to Ali to let her know I was surprising Tobin. I trusted her to not let it slip and she was able to keep me updated on their plans so I could surprise her. I didn't want to miss her whole birthday, instead I had found a flight that would get me there in time to surprise her at lunch. 

I got through security as quickly as possible. Knowing I was so close to seeing Tobin again was making me impatient. This was probably the longest we had gone without seeing each other. I hated it, but playing internationally had always been a dream of mine. They had organized lunch in the meal room at the hotel seeing as there were so many of them. I quickly dropped my stuff in Tobin's hotel room and cleaned myself up a bit before heading down to the meal room. 

Ali had organized a game of guess the person. Tobin was blindfolded and had to guess who was in front of her based on the feel of their hands and face. The girls smiled widely when they saw me, somehow managing to not completely freak out. I watched Tobin go through a few more of them. There was a wide smile on her face, the corners of her eyes no doubt crinkling. I knew pretty much all of Tobin's expressions at this point, even without properly seeing them. It made me happy knowing that even though she was missing me, she was still able to have fun and be genuinely happy. 

After a few minutes, I stepped up to Tobin, placing her hand on my arm first then my face. I knew there was a high chance that once she felt either of my hands she would know it was me. Besides the years of almost constant hand holding, I had a scar on one of my hands that was very noticeable.

I lent into her touch, enjoying the feeling after almost six months away from her. That must have been a give away, because her hand froze briefly before moving to my eyebrow that also had a scar then my left hand. She ripped the blindfold off, eyes wide as she stared at me in shock. 

"Y/n!" Tobin pretty much squealed, jumping up, arms wrapping around me as she jumped up, legs around my waist, "You're here, you're actually here."

"You didn't seriously think I would miss your birthday did you?"

Tobin kissed me hard, filled with passion and love. I knew the team were watching, fake gags coming from them, but I did care as I cupped the back of her head, not letting her move until we were both out of breath. Tobin watched me for a few seconds before speaking, "I love you so much. How long do I have you for?"

Reluctantly, I put her down, feeling my knee starting ache, "A couple of weeks. Pretty much until I'm ready to join practice again as long as I keep up with physio here."

Since there weren't any real plans for after lunch, Tobin and I snuck off to the room. We didn't do anything other than cuddle and make out a little bit. I was exhausted from my flight, all I wanted to do was hold her after months apart. When Tobin eventually had to go to the bathroom, I got the piece of paper and ring box from my bag. I quickly hid the ring box as Tobin came back into the room. I still wasn't sure if I was going to propose right now with just the two of us or do something with the team later. I wanted to have it with me for when I decided the time was right.

"I got you something."

"You didn't have to, just being here is enough."

"Shush and take it. I think you're going to like this."

I handed her a piece of paper. She read over it slowly before jumping on me, peppering kisses across my face, "You're coming back?!? We get to play together again?"

"I'm coming back. I still have to be there for a couple more months though. I love playing for arsenal, it's been a great experience, but it's not worth how much I miss you." 

A few tears fell down her cheeks as she kissed me slowly before a smile stretched across her face, interrupting the kiss. Her smile was one of my favourite sights so I wasn't mad about it, "You are amazing, I love you Y/n."

"I love you Toby." 

Once again I found myself watching her. Taking in her smile, the way her eyes crinkled, the dimples I was obsessed with, her beautiful eyes that I could look at forever and the short hair that drove me crazy. It was my first time seeing it in person, I had ran my fingers through it countless times already and was currently resisting the urge to do it again. I loved her more than I thought it was possible to love another person. She was the person I craved, the first person I thought of when I woke up or before I went to sleep, the first person I wanted to tell when anything happened. She was the person I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. 

"I meant what I said in my text."

"Which part?"

"All of it. Even after 7 years, you still make my heart race, butterflies and sparks to explode at even the slightest touch. No one has even made me feel the way you do and no one else ever will. I thank everything in this world that you chose me, that I get to be with you and love you every day. You are the only person I want by myside through everything life throws our way. The good, bad, funny, messy, whatever it is, it will be okay because I have you. I am so madly in love with you Tobin Powell Heath, I want to do life with you for as long as you'll have me. Will you marry me?"

Tobin launched forward before I could even get the ring box. She hugged me tightly, tears landing against my neck, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I love you so fucking much Y/n."

My own tears fell, the happiness bubbling over as I chuckled, "Can I get the ring now?"

"You got me a ring?"

I reached under the pillow for the ring box, opening it for Tobin to see. It was just a simple rose gold band, it fit who she was and the type of style she liked. She grinned widely as I easily slipped it onto her finger, "Of course I did. I've been planning to do this for months now. Only the best for my girl or should I say fiancé?"

"God I can't wait to marry you Y/n."

[rhodesrider]

When it’s Time…

Solo S. x Virgin!Black! Fem Reader

NSFW! 18+! Minors DNI!

Warnings: Oral Sex, throat creampîe, rubbing

Word Count: 1.4k

~

I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything. Different hobbies, I’ve tried video games, knitting, poetry. Hell even other crafts but I can’t get my mind off of sex. More importantly off of Solo. I’m terrified of what he will think. I gave him the whole speech of how I wanna save myself for marriage, save myself for the right one. But now I can’t stop thinking about it. He’s gonna think I’m just a whore…

I sigh as I shake my leg just trying to knit something. I soon heard a car door, had to be the twins and Solo. I heard the door next and I just made it look like my mind wasn’t on nothing, just knitting and watching YouTube. “Hey old lady.” Jey snickered and I threw a wad of yarn at him. I received a hug from Jimmy and Caught the Load of yarn back from Jey. “Next time imma throw one of these sticks.” I smirk. Soon I felt a kiss on my cheek from solo, I glanced as he sat by me looking at my cardigan I’m almost done with. “We gonna let y’all have ya little alone time. Night bro. Night y/n.” They both went upstairs and solo kissed my hand smiling. “How was your day baby girl?” He asked low since it was late and he didn’t wanna wake anyone in the house, his voice could be heard anywhere.

“It was ok. Finished up some work for school and I’m almost done with this little project.” I smile readying the next loop starting it like clockwork. “I’m glad you had a ok day. I miss you baby.” They were at rehearsal all day so I didn’t see him, I only saw him getting up so early then leaving out. “I miss you too baby.” I smiled and turned to him, soon sharing a sweet kiss. But that kiss turned to a hungry makeup session slowly, our fingers roaming, god I want more. He holds me close, moving my knitting he continues, the make out session goes for a hour, I wanted him bad.

“God I’m sorry baby I didn’t know I over did it.” I blink looking to see what he was talking about, my panties had a little wett spot on them. I blush hard and cover myself with a blanket embarrassed. “It’s ok baby um I’m actually a bit hungry.” I could feel him smile and get up. “I’ll fix you some food and we can watch tv ok?” Solo got up and went to the kitchen. Soon I’m receiving a text. Great, it’s from Dasha.

Dede: I know they home because I heard y’all come in did you ask him?

Me: No. And weren’t you sleep?

Dede: I was till the boys came in now I’m just sitting in bed playing animal crossing Looking at Roman sleep. But that’s besides the point, why didn’t you ask him?

Me: I’m not sure…

Dede: You vented to me for 3 hours today. About you feeling like solo was the right one to give that v card too and you didn’t ask him?

Me: ITS A PROCESS TO THIS.

I sighed and threw my phone to the side as solo came back with some food. He gave my plate getting the blanket ready but sad enough I’m still horny. I wanted him bad. I bit my lip squeezing my legs together needing some relief.

“Oh baby I’m sorry. I need to get rid of something, I’ll be back.”

He only saids that when he needs a cold shower, this is my chance!

“Baby wait-“

He stopped from getting up, putting his plate on the table and mine I put on there as well. “Baby, um, maybe I can help with that?” He blinked looking lost. “Baby you wanna..?” He pointed at his shorts and I nodded. It’s been two years, and I never did anything sexual with solo. Im surprised I’m still with him. “Baby are you sure?” I nodded once more blushing and biting my lip. I’ve have dreams of it, just letting him fuck my throat. Grip my hair and just use my throat till he cums down it. He sighed nodding and he started to remove his pants.

“Baby, are you sure?”

I nod once more and he removed his boxers. I blinked and watched as he stroked his long thick dick in front of me. He was big. “Don’t worry take your time, he doesn’t bite.” He chuckled. I got closer and soon solos free hand went to my back rubbing it, comforting me. I sat up to get a good focus on it and started at the tip. Licking and sucking on it slow. Solo blushed shivering some feeling my warm mouth on his sensitive tip. His precum was landing on my tongue, but I continued to go down on the shaft. “F-fuck mamas…” he moaned a bit making me blush and not noticing my panties getting a wett spot again. His groans and moans are so hot. I could hear em all day if I wanted to I wanna hear more. I started to suck him off my mouth barley letting me get to the base of his dick, I felt his hand soon on the back of my head for me to go deeper. I did so gagging on his size and he soon helped me up to check on me. “Baby I’m sorry am I too much?” He asked. He wasn’t, he was just right, him checking on me to make sure I’m ok is making me more horny.

“More,Please…”

He was taken back by my beg. I thought I saw his dick jump from it. He led me back to his dick soon letting me deepthroat, I gag some again but I continue sucking him off. Going down to the base as tears fell as a reaction from my body, but he watched me. I think he likes seeing me like this. He sighed out and bit his lip pulling me up some letting me get some air. “Fuck that feels so good, you’re doing so good baby.” He..is he praising me?! It like my body got more relaxed and my mind is melting. I’ve never felt this way before. He led me back to his cock and held my head slightly. “Baby I’m gonna fuck your throat ok? So just tap if you need air ok?” He smiled and bit his lip, I nodded giving the go and he started throat fucking me moaning out, I drooled in his dick sneaking my hand on my panties rubbing my self teasing myself. He just fucking my throat feeling his dick down my narrow ass throat, fuck I loved it. Was this was it called being used? It felt amazing. “B-baby I’m gonna cum~” he announced and kept going, please keep doing baby, fill my throat up I wanted it for the longest. I rubbed myself more close to my orgasm and soon my face was planted in his pelvis.

The warm nutt down my throat. He groaned as more pumped in my mouth. I shivered as my panties were ruined. He pulled out slow and his dick leaked out cum from his tip, I coughed some and he was gonna help me but I regained myself quick and licked his tip not wasting any nutt. I swallowed and he blushed hard. We both sighed from our orgasms. Looking at each other. “I’m sorry baby if I did too much-“

“That was so good~”

I felt like my mind was re-educated. I looked up at him smiling as he was just taken at the fact of me sucking his dick for the first time. “Baby it’s just I know you like never wanted to really have any like sexual activity-“ “I enjoyed every moment of that solo, I’m very great full that you are patient with me, this was my choice and I made such a great choice to try something. I just need to change my underwear…” I showed him my drenched panties and he blushed more. “You came while you were sucking me off?” He asked in a low voice. I like that tone a lot. “Yes sir I did.” He looked like he wanted to fuck me hard after I answered him like that, I learned that from Dasha. Which means, my dear solo is a bit kinky. I smiled walking away and felt eyes on me the whole time.

Soon a text.

MyJoJo: Baby. I’m willing to wait. I’m willing to do this slow. Until the finale. I love you so much.

I texted him back smiling. I think imma take it slow too until it’s time. It’s gonna be time soon. I know he’s the one to take it but I have to be sure.

~

✨Thanks @jillnjones57-blog for the idea ✨

[phlurrii]

Speaking of shiny mews…

BABY ACQUIRED.

So after squealing and screaming like a made woman, so much my poor cat rolled off my lap, I shoved this baby in a dive ball and OFFICIALLY CAUGHT THE ONLY CATCHABLE LEGITIMATE SHINY MEW. Still available… I remember seeing this event when I younger and watching how you could chase mew, almost playing with it before encountering it. Being both memorized and devastated I missed it and would never get to experience the epitome of mew events.

Playing through all the Pokémon games, I would always fall for every fake video, online rumour, or trade to get mew. I offered any Pokémon of value I had to trade for one and finally got a Japanese mew around age 10. I loved that lil cat to death, though I’ve since lost it to the void of time and foggy childhood memory; my next mew that was all mine were two lil babies I got in an XY mystery gift event. That was birth of Meau and Mew for me, the first I always called my “original” mew or “ancient” mew like the card, while the second I considered my cannon mew. I still have both babies to this day and have since brought them to home.

Despite such, I never forgot about the catchable mew in emerald, though conceded to move on to more modern day mews! From shelling out 50$ to get mew in that bloody pokeball in lets go, to my father letting me catch the mew in Pokémon Go (I didn’t care much for the game, but my chad of a father got into it solely to bond with me, Rest In Peace you lovable bastard) and finally my level 1 mew from BDSP. Which, due to my interest in breaking/glitching Nintendo games, has now given me infinite access to level 1 mew and up via the god egg in SWSH. I can now perpetually have a starter mew in any future games that mew is in, eheheheheh childhood dream accomplished >;3c

That, so far has been my journey.. though it didn’t quite end there. With my attention being brought to the pomeg glitch in emerald, reactivating the old sea map event, and hunting/catching myself a shiny lad… there is only ONE mew to left for me to get. The original Red, Blue, Yellow, and Green glitched mew. Now the issue with them is they are not transferable out of those games, unless you do another intensely complicated glitch up, right, down, left, left, clap your hands, and do a lil jiggy lol. So with shiny mew caught, I’m on my way to dragging the TRUE ancient mew out of the first games, naming the bugger Meau, and bringing them all the damn way up to Scarlet!! My army of mews will only then, be complete.

Finally, for those fellow weirdos that read this far, due to my now infinite amount of mews, both shiny and otherwise; if anyone would like a legit, albeit cloned, mew with a specific name, feel free to reply to this post and I’ll do my best to sort it out! Shiny one’s will have to wait tho cuz transferring those bad boys through 5 generations is a biTch.

[sillysurrealwriter]

Gaming Oddyssey

It was a sunny day, early in the morning near my home. I was lying on the couch and was playing some videogames, on my good ol’ Nintendo Switch. I smiled, as I cleared another level and I returned to the title screen.

I smiled. 100%. Like usual.

Oh, right? Let me introduce myself. I am Harvey Harriette. I am 17 years old and today was the first day of summer vacation. Those last exams during those last weeks had been tough, yet I somehow pulled through. Especially, Math. That class was a pain in the ass.

But right now, I could finally relax. 3 months of summer vacation, which meant for me 3 months full of gaming, to play so many games and to complete them 100%. A dream come true, you might say.

There’s just one problem though.....I kinda ended up beating all the games I had bought over the last weeks, last night. And now, I didn’t have any games left to play. Which was kinda annoying, not gonna lie.

Because I already bought almost every video game I could find. From X box, to PS5, to Switch...I got them all, really. Mom always complained that my room was quite messy, because all those game boxes were littered across the floor. Her complaining became annoying, so I ended up cleaning my room for a bit. But only for a bit.

Mom and my other mom were not here, right now. They were going to Europe, in order to watch some musical in Hamburg. Initially, they wanted me to go with them, but I refused. Because I really don’t like musicals whatsoever.

With musicals, all you could do was sit on your ass and watch. But with games, you could be actively be part of the action. Who wouldn’t want that? Probably some boomers, like my two moms. Urgh....

Oh well. It’s fine, really. I mean, not everyone has to like games or something. Even so, I was beginning to get bored. I definitely needed to buy a new game.

Which is why I got up and headed towards the hallway, putting on my shoes and smiling at the mirror. Short dark blue hair, a shirt so tight that it would make sure to flatten that stupid chest of mine, strong grey boots and some ripped jeans. Perfect.

I opened the door and headed downstairs. We were living in a big apartment complex, which for some reason didn’t have an elevator. Walking up and down was a pain, but it was manageable. Plus, I wouldn’t mind if I were to gain some muscles thanks to that. Then people would finally see that I am not a girl.

In any case, I opened the door and stepped outside. The sun greeted me with its warm smile and I heard some birds chirping, as I walked towards my bike. I unlocked the lock, climbed on top of it and then began to drive through the neighbourhood. The streets were clean and didn’t have any filth whatsoever, given that this was one of the more better neighbourhoods and cities in general. Where the government actually cared about us. But I digress.

Right now, I was making my way to the downtown part of this city. There, I’d get myself some new games from my local video game store. It wasn’t that far from my home to that one shop. After only about 9 minutes, I arrived at the big plaza of the city. The fountain spewed out fresh water and people were passing by, some couples taking pics of themselves and kissing each other, while street artists performed and had their best time, as they attracted a respectable audience. Seeing them dance was quite fun and I had a good time watching them for a bit.

Yet, I still needed to focus on, why I was here to begin with. I needed me some new games. So, I approached the shop that said: WonderGame. I entered through the door and the cashier, a rather plumb old man known as Mr. Marty in some grey overall and some bald hair, smiled at me.

“Ah, Harvey!”, he greeted me happily. “How are you doing?”

“I am fine.”; I answered happily and tilted my head. “Business going well?”

“Yes, indeed. Customers are coming and leaving, with many games. And you are one of them, naturally.”, he said to me, before giggling. “I assume you are here, to buy another game.”

“Damn right.”, I said and smirked. “So...got any new deliveries?”

To my dismay though, Mr. Marty shook his head.

“No, I won’t get new games until next week. I am sorry.”

“Until next week?”, I asked disappointed. “But I want to play some new games now! Are you sure that there is a game that I haven’t bought from you, yet?”

“Well......”

Mr. Marty seemed pensive, as he got up from his seat and motioned me to come closer.

“Follow me, okay kid?”

Confused, I nodded and watched, as Mr. Marty went into the open door near the counter. I followed him inside and was met with a relaxing smell. I knew this place of course. Those were what Mr. Marty would call, the catacombs. A place where he would often store games that didn’t sell quite so well in the past and would remain here, in case anyone was interested. I’ve been here a few times, to play some retro games. Yet as we passed by, I saw that I already knew most of those games and I frowned.

“Mr. Marty...What do you want to show me?”

“You’ll see.”, he told me and then moved a wardrobe aside, revealing another door. He took out a key, put it into the hole and turned it, before opening it up and revealing a set of stairs.

“What the..”

“You haven’t seen this part yet, kid.”, he explained to me, as we went downstairs through the dark cellar. “Normally, this is just the place where I store all the junk. Like broken game consoles and games and whatnot. However....”

He opened another door and we stepped into a messy hallway that reminded me of the lower part of Peach’s Castle from Super Mario 64.

“...recently, I was cleaning here and whatnot, when I found something.”

“You..found something? What is it?”

“Let me show you.”

Eventually, we reached a couple of boxes and he pushed a few of them away, before I saw it.

What I saw in front of my eyes, was a game console. It had the form of a cube, yet it was smaller than the NGC and upon closer inspection, I saw several ports on the back, so that the console could be connected to the TV. Not only that, but there was one controller plugged in. And the controller itself, was....off.

Its shape reminded me of the Wii Classic Controller. only that the color was dark red and that there were only two buttons. A and B. Just like the original NES controller.

What the......

“I found this here, a few days ago.”, Mr. Marty explained and scratched his head confused. “I had no idea, why this was here. As you know, I’ve been running this store since the 80s and yet, I never had anyone deliver me a console like that.”

“I see....”, I mumbled and took a closer look. Judging by the ports, the console must have been made around the time the N64 was produced, given the exact same ports. The colour itself was off in some areas, meaning that this thing was old and not new. I also saw a small writing in front of the cartridge slot. It said: Odyssey- A fantatic time

“Does this thing even work?”, I asked Mr. Marty. He nodded.

“Yes. I plugged it, into my TV at home. And indeed, the console works quite well and the games were fun too. Controls were solid and I had a bit of fun with it, I won’t lie.”

“Uhuh....Then why are you not selling it, upstairs?”, I wondered and for a moment, Mr. Marty remained quiet. Then, he let out a sigh.

“Truth be told, I wanted to. Yet....I had a feeling I shouldn’t. I have no idea why, though. So...”

He put his hand into a small box next to it, which had a green cartridge with the words “5 in 1”

“...do you want to have it?”

“Hmm.....”

I thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

“Sure, I guess. How much do I need to pay?”, I asked and took out my wallet, but Mr. Marty shook his head.

“You can have it for free.”, he told me. “Under one condition.”

“That being?”

“I want you to record your gameplay.”, he explained to me. “You know, to see what happens when you 100% the full game. Would that be fine with you?”

“Hmm...Sure, why not?”, I asked and nodded. “I already have a youtube channel, where I upload gameplay videos regurlarly and I make enough money from it. So, of course I can do that.”

“Excellent.”, Mr. Marty said and then put the controller on top of the console and then added the cartridge onto it, before giving it to me. I grabbed the box and was a bit surprised, as to how light it actually was. Honestly, it wasn’t heavy at all. Or did I gain some muscles?

“Thanks, Mr. Marty.”, I told him. “Once I am done, I’ll send you the videos to your mail. Have a nice day.”

“Thank you. See you kid!”

With that, I left and 10 minutes later, I was back home. I opened the door to the apartment and then closed it, before placing the console on the ground, grabbing the cables in order to plug them in. It wasn’t difficult at all, given that it was easy to see what those cables were. I then grabbed the cartridge and pushed it into the slot, before I turned on the TV and then pressed on the on button, of the console.

The TV screen glitched briefly and then turned black. For a moment, I was worried that I accidentally broke the TV. But thankfully, an image began to appear. My recording device got turned on as well and I watched, as a red spiral symbol appeared on screen with the word “Ripple”, on it.

Ripple....huh....

I took out my phone and googled the name of the console and the company of the game.

But I found nothing. Weird...

In any case, the screen changed and it showed me 5 options to choose from. They were as follows:

VeloSpeed

TheSuperstar

BeatoDanco

Crystal Venture

Evoke

Curiously, I grabbed the controller and selected the first game. Again, the title screen glitched and then, the title screen showcased some strange racing car with a black color and some Cyrillic symbols on the front, staring at the screen. It was of rather high quality and then, I pressed on start. Then, a vehicle selection came up.

There, I saw the names of the vehicles

Black: 1951 ZiS-112/1

Blue: Moskvitch 404 Sport

Green: Alpine A350

White: Alfa Romeo Tipo 512

Weird...I never heard of any of those names before. Eh, I’ll just go with the first option.

I expected a track selection to pop up, but instead I was immediately booted onto the track. It had a sunset background and the graphics reminded me indeed, of the N64. I grabbed the controller and focused my attention on the road, which would lead to a forrest apparently. I saw on the top right two goals listed:

1: Win the race

2: Beat the race, in under 2 minutes

Hm.

The traffic light turned from red to green and the race began. I had 3 competitors and indeed, the game controlled quite well and the controls reminded me a bit of Mario Kart 64. I dashed through the track, easily leaving my opponents behind. There were some tight corners in the forrest and yet, it was nothing hard. Which is why in the end, I approached the finish line with a time of 1 Minute and 30 seconds, when...

Huh.

The race cars barely moved from their spots. They...weren’t moving at all.

Weird....must be some kind of bug.

I finished the race and then, a trophy was shown to me saying:

Win you have done are

“The hell? What kind of grammar is this?”, I muttered bewildered and pressed on continue. I waited for the track to load....

....but the next track didn’t come. And after a few minutes, I realised why.

The console had turned itself off. Did the game crash?

Weird....

I turned it on and tried to select the first game again and....

...it was gone.

Huh?!

I turned the console off again, took out the cartridge, put it back inside and turned the console on again.

But....VeloRacer went missing.

Okay......

I decided to just select the next game, as I rubbed my eyes a bit. The title screen showed some Drag King jumping on a....on a...

..on some kind of giant lizard thing with a red suit and a cube-like mustache. Weird....

I pressed on start and the screen switched, to a 3d world. It looked like I was in some sort of palace, given the interior and I was controlling this Drag King. I then noticed two objectives.

1. Beat all soldiers

2: Find all Gold Coins.

Okay.....

Like the last game, the controls were solid and could kick and punch my opponents, while jumping extremely high. Moving around the castles, I beat all of those lizard soldiers easily, passing through the red doors and collecting coins. It was not hard at all. Once I was finished, a message popped up that said:

Go back to the main area, to finish.

And I was about to do that. But, then I noticed in the courtyard level that there was a door ahead. I approached it and opened it, wanting to explore as much as possible.

But when I did that, an error popped up. It was written in gibberish and I only saw tons of numbers, before it shut down and-

Wait.

Was it just me...or did I see a face staring at me? It looked like the moon....

Huh. Needless to say, this was weird. The game shut down again and when I turned the console off again, that game was also gone.

Only 3 more left.

What the hell......Urgh, my head hurt......

Okay, now I was extremely confused......Was the cartridge broken or why did each game disappear? I don’t get it....

This was getting weird and I wasn’t sure, if I wanted to play more. All of this felt like some cheap creepypasta, about some cursed game console. But.....

So far, the games weren’t creepy. Sure, they all crashed and yet, I didn’t see anything gross or something.

Well....let me try the next game. Beato Danco.

The title screen showed some strange orange haired girl with black eyes and colorful clothing dancing. She was smiling and even though she looked creepy, she also looked a bit cute.

I turned the game on and it appeared to be some DDR clone. I had to dance and press on the button at the right times, while fighting more of those lizard soldiers. I had two objectives.

Objective 1: Beat the level

Objective 2: -

Huh. Only one objective, huh?

Again, the game was easy to play and I had some fun too. But as I went on to play, I realised something.

None of those games...had any music. Sure, they had sound effects, but no music at all. That’s strange.... Were the developers unable to add some music? If it was an early console from the 80s I’d get it. But that console seemed to be from the early 90s and yet, no music at all.

Something felt off and I finished the level and as I expected, the screen turned black and...

Wait....

There was a text on the screen.

“Can you see me?”

But it was only for a split moment and then the console turned off again.

Okay, this was beginning to creep me out. I needed some answers.

So, instead of turning on the game again, I hopped onto reddit and went to r/retrogaming and typed in the following:

“Does anyone know this console? I got it from a local video game store and yet, I can’t find anything online. Can you help?”

I added some pics of the console and then sent it.

....only for a message to pop up that said:

You have been banned from r/retrogaming, for inappropriate behaviour.

Excuse me?????????

My post got deleted too. What the...What rule did I break? I didn’t even curse or anything?!

Okay..........

I coughed a bit and rubbed my eyes. What the hell.....

I glanced at the game console. Maybe...I should take a break and...

........

....

I turned the console on again and selected the fourth game. Crystal Venture.

The title screen showed a rainbow crystal and when I pressed on start, it seemed to be some sort of Tertris Clone, only with diamonds. I had two objectives.

Objective 1: Beat the level

Objective 2: Lose the level, please.

Eh?

But those goals were complete opposite of one another?!

Well.....I doubted that I could just play this game a second time, so I did my best.....I played and like usual, I beat the level.

I saw the trophy symbol again and yet....

....I saw no continue button.

The hell?

Suddenly, the screen glitched and it was all black. Then, text appeared on it.

Listen. Turn the console off.

Do not beat the gamesies.

You will just sufferersies.....

Pleasies...Pretty?

And then, the console turned off again.

I really didn’t want to play the last one, but my body didn’t listen to me. It...turned the game on again....and my hand selected the last game.

Evoke.

This time around, I was just on some black meadow. The game was in first person and it was so dark....

The.....sun had set. It was night. I had no idea, why it was nighttime already......

My hand moved the joystick and I walked around......I walked...and walked...........

Until there was something in the distance. Something with several white glowing things and long orange hair.

And to my surprise....my console spoke.

“HELLOSIES”, it said with a glitchy feminine voice. “YOU::::DIDNT LISTEN TO ME::::UWU:::::YOU NEED:::TO TURN:::THE CONSOLE OFF::::BEFORE ITS TOO LATE::::::”

“Wh..What?! Wh...What’s going on?!”, I exclaimed and felt my headaches getting worse.

“YOU::::HAVE FOUND:::::FORGOTTEN:::::YOU::::::::HAVE:::::::::BEATEN::::THE GAME::::::::::::::AND::::AND::::NOW:::YOU NEED TO TURN::::IT OFF::::PLEASE::::”

And then suddenly, I saw a timer at the top.

30 seconds.

I tried to reach to the off button, but......

My body wouldn’t move. I...I couldn’t move at all. And my head began to hurt even more.

“PLLEEEASSEE:::::TURN OFF::::GAME:::”

20 seconds.

My vision became blurry and I heard a strange noise from somewhere, yet I couldn’t find out from where. I coughed.

10 seconds.

“NOOOOOO:::::TURN OFF:::::NOW:::::NOW:::::::::::::NOW!!!!!”

The screen began to glitch heavily and I coughed again...some liquid. I thought it was blood, but.....

...it...was some dark gooey liquid...What the.....

I coughed it up more and felt it leaving my eye sockets, as also my hands were full of them. I coughed up even more.

5 seconds

“CLOOOSEEEE::::YOUR EYEEEEESSSS”

I tried. But I couldn’t.

The time went up. And I vomited even more black goo and then collapsed, feeling my brain bursting through my forehead. The last thing I heard from the glitchy voice was this:

“I:::::::::::AM::::::::::::::SO::::::::::::::SOOOORRRYYYY:::::::SOORRY:::”

..............................

A 17 year old kid was found murdered, yesterday. The victim was discovered by their parents, who had left their child one week ago, to attend a musical. When they returned, they found the victim on the ground, in a strange dark substance. Police entered and investigated, yet they couldn’t figure out what the substance was. They also found the TV all broken and some loose cables hanging from it, yet nothing was plugged into those. According to witnesses, no one entered the home except the kid and there was no sign of breaking in either. The autopsy discovered strangely enough that the victim had died a week ago, yet all of his organs seemed fully functional, except the skin which had some dark veins. Police is still investigating and the lead detective said that they found a suspect and that they are interrogating them, as they speak. And they also learned from said suspect that the victim visited them 3 times over the last week, even though they supposedly died a week ago. Camera footage is rather broken and the suspect claims that they gave the kid a console to play. But no console was found at said scene. Stay tuned for more.

[rosemary-morgan]

Gavin Reed X F.Reader - Wicked game (Part 1)

(Pictures are not mine! Found on Pinterest/Google - Collage made by myself.)  

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹  

Summary: After a long time, Gavin Reed receives a message that evokes many memories in him. Memories that he would prefer to banish! He hates them, detests them! He almost succeeded in forgetting you, but then you try to enter his life again and he doesn't like that at all...

Warning: A little bit spicy, language

Gavin Reed X F.Reader - Wicked game (Part 1)

Gavin glanced at his watch and sighed with relief, knowing that in a few minutes he would finally be able to go home and enjoy a well-deserved rest. The numerous murder cases on his desk were piling up, and by now the detective was simply stressed out. Accordingly, his mood was not exactly the best. A week's vacation, out of Detroit? Yes, that would be just the right thing, but that was probably out of the question at the moment. Sighing, the young detective leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on his desk. He might as well spend the last few minutes relaxing. Picking up his phone, he searched through it for any new emails and messages. As usual, there was nothing interesting, except for one message that caught his attention. Suddenly, he threw the phone carelessly on his desk; he did not even want to open this message that had come to him a few days ago. Gavin was more of a loner; this was probably also due to the fact that he was not too popular among his colleagues, his arrogant nature also playing a big role In this. He was rude, sarcastic and a big asshole. "Fuck..." He yawned, and feeling the tiredness overtaking him, Gavin rose from his seat, grabbing his leather jacket. He walked toward the exit and thought about whether he should really go straight home? Perhaps he should let the evening fade away in a different way? Maybe he would find a nice companion or two with whom he would spend the night? Gavin actually played with this thought, but by the time  he had gotten into his car and started the motor, this idea had vanished. For something constantly prevented him from getting involved with a woman, even if it was only for one night. Gavin growled in annoyance as she crept back into his mind. He had to concentrate on something else. ''Some music should work...'' he muttered softly to himself and turned on the radio. At first, Gavin could actually relax, but as quickly as he had pushed it out of his mind, it returned again and that was just because of that damn song which was playing right now. It was an old song, but this very song reminded him of his common past with this woman. ''Fuck...'' Why couldn't he just forget about her? Why wouldn't she leave him alone! Gavin looked at the piece of jewelry, on his left ring finger, and again let a discontented growl slide across his lips. The truth was, he didn't want any other woman. All he wanted was Y/N. Since she had left him, there had been a huge void in his life and no woman had ever managed to fill that void. There had been enough one night stands, but what good did that do him in retrospect? And had he never desired any of those women the way he had desired Y/N....  he still craved her like a madman. The young detective didn't even notice as he pushed the gas pedal harder and harder, driving well over the speed limit through the streets of Detroit. Gavin thought about his shared past with Y/N. They had dreams, had gotten along well, loved each other, and were going to get married! Damn and how he had loved her! And he still loved her. Deep inside, he knew that. He kept trying to tell himself that he hated her for just leaving him;that she had just left without trying to talk to him, without any explanation on her part, but he couldn't... as much as he tried, he failed again and again. After all, he couldn't even manage to get rid of that damn ring on his finger! He should hate her, for God's sake! She had ripped his heart out of his chest and thrown it to the ground. Stomping on it, she had left him behind. Why had she done that? What had he done wrong? Was it up to him? Had he made mistakes without realizing it? Of course, there had been disagreements from time to time, but never had they parted in a loud and dramatic argument with door slamming or the like. To this day, Gavin didn't know if Y/N had betrayed him with another man. Finally arrived at home, he threw the house keys into the small bowl, which stood on the side table in the hallway. The first thing he did before getting rid of his jacket and shoes was to get himself an ice-cold beer. That was exactly what he needed. Gavin's interior was rather plain, but there were rare collectibles in many corners. Among them were golden records of Elvis and some merchandise of movies. He just liked the old classics. Gavin leaned against the kitchen counter as he sipped his iced beer. Y/N was spooking through his mind again... ''Fuck!" That had only caused something to stir in his pants and now he slammed his beer down on the counter in a rather foul mood and ran to the bathroom. So much time had passed and yet this woman still managed to make his head turn crazy. Gavin stripped off his clothes, tossed them carelessly into a corner, and stepped into the shower. First, he ran cold water, gasping a little in shock as the cold water wetted his heated skin, but it was just what he needed. Staring at the blue tiles in front of him, Gavin sighed softly and leaned his arms against them. He couldn't help but think about her. Day and night,it had never been any different. He could still remember how it had been in the beginning of their relationship. Gavin hadn't been able to keep his hands off her...

Three years ago....

It was a hot summer night. Gavin and Y/N had arranged to meet at her place for dinner. She was standing in the kitchen, while Gavin had taken a seat at the dining room, watching her from there and smirking… or rather, he admired her. His gaze slid over her entire body. She was beautiful and desirable. Her tight skirt, emphasized her wonderful butt and her legs were more than seductive. At the sight of her, the young man became quite hot. How long would he have to wait for her? Gavin rose from his seat and walked towards the young woman, with an mischievous smile. Y/N didn't notice him until she felt his strong arms wrapped around her hips. ''Mhm, smells more than seductive...'' Gavin purred into her ear, which made Y/N shiver pleasantly. She really didn't expect this gesture. ''Gavin?'' ''I didn't scare you, did I?" he asked, smirking seductively. But from the looks of it, and he could literally feel it, her heart seemed to be beating wildly against her chest. But also his was beating faster. This woman was the purest temptation. Y/N closed her eyes as he pushed her long hair aside, to caress her delicate neck. Y/N's skin was incredibly soft and Gavin snuggled even closer to her, causing the young woman to support herself against the counter. Gavin took in her delicate, feminine scent and it clouded his senses. ''Ahh... Y/N...'' He gasped hoarsely in her ear, nuzzling his hips against her firm ass, and that made the young woman moan. ''Gavin...'' She seemed caught off guard and made it seem like she didn't know how to handle this situation. But Gavin knew from the way he had met her, she really didn't know. She was so innocent and that made her so damn desirable and that didn't stop Gavin even more from continuing to tease her. ''You're so beautiful... so sexy...'' He gently bit her earlobe and purred like a cat against her ear and Y/N, was completely addicted to him and she couldn't help it. The young woman did not know how to deal with this situation. She felt a bit overwhelmed, since this was the first time that a man was so close to her. Well, Gavin had flirted with her and kissed her time and time again. But this was the first time he had been this close to her. ''You're making me crazy, sweetheart,'' he whispered to her, gently biting her neck, then gently running his tongue over the spot. His left hand found its way to her thigh and he pushed the fabric of her skirt up her skin. ''Gavin!"

The young man gently turned her to face him, lifting her chin as he saw her shy gaze resting on the floor. Looking downwards to where she was looking, he saw her chest rise and fall in a quick beat; her breasts stretching the white fabric of her blouse. Gavin almost choked at the sight. He then looked into her beautiful eyes, which looked at him insecurely, yet full of desire. Gavin caressed her delicate cheeks, which seemed to glow in shame. ''Are you afraid, Y/N?" He asked because if she was unsure, or afraid of this big step, he would not force her to do anything. The worry was clearly written on his face but Y/N smiled at him, as she placed her delicate hands on his strong chest. ''No... I'm just... inexperienced, Gavin,'' she admitted softly, even though it made her a little uncomfortable. After all, she was twenty-five and still a virgin. Gavin, however, just grinned. Yes, he had thought so but that was not a big deal for the detective. ''Don't worry...'' Gavin whispered, lifting her arm to rest it on his shoulder. Then he pressed her hips firmly against his; Y/N could certainly already feel his hard manhood nestling against her. ''I'll be gentle.'' But suddenly, he saw tears shimmering in her eyes. What Gavin didn't know was that she was just happy at the moment and he completely misread her reaction. Was she uncomfortable? Was he pressuring her? That had not been his intention. Gavin gently put his hands to her cheeks. ''Shhh, hey... Look at me.'' Y/N looked at him and blinked away her tears. Gavin looked at her with genuine concern. ''I didn't mean to push you.'' Y/N smiled at him and that relieved the young man immensely. Now he also smiled and gently kissed her tender lips. ''You didn't, Gavin. I like it...your little games. I enjoy it.'' Her voicesuddenly gave off an erotic undertone and when Gavin heard this, he gave her a seductive smile. She had no idea what he was able to do with her. He leaned down, kissed the tears from her cheeks, following the wet trail to her throat. He heard her gasp in pleasure as he kissed her passionately, and at the same time, he opened her white blouse, slowly pulling it over her arms. In doing so, Gavin went very slowly and gently to increase the young woman's pleasure. It hadn't taken two minutes for them both to make their way into her bedroom. Before Y/N knew it, she was lying on her soft sheets with Gavin bent over her. She saw the fire in his eyes that blazed for her. It was an untamed fire and he wanted her to feed his desire. Gavin reached with both hands into her hair, holding onto it gently. At the same time, he slid his tongue over her soft lips until Y/N opened them, returning his kiss. They both gasped in pleasure and Y/N opened her eyes, pausing in what she was doing and that didn't escape Gavin's attention. He opened his eyes, looking at her face. She still seemed unsure. ''Do you want me to stop? But the young woman shook her head. ''No, Gavin. I want to feel you. Deep inside me...''

Present day

Gavin turned off the water and sighed heavily, running his hands through his dark brown hair and brushing back the wet strands. He sighed softly as he ran his hand over his face, preferring to do nothing but make himself comfortable on the sofa, watching a good movie on TV. Maybe that would finally bring him his peace. Gavin stepped out of the shower, grabbing a clean towel and used it to dry off his well-toned body before heading to his bedroom and throwing on a black shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants. Gavin let his gaze slide over his bedroom and it was time to put it in order. He hated disorder. Yes, he really hated it, but due to his work he often didn't get a chance to tidy and clean everything the way he would like. But for nothing in the world would he bring an android home to do the housework for him. He would rather die into his own garbage. While the young detective was bringing his bedroom up to standard, the doorbell rang about twenty minutes later. Sighing heavily, he rolled his eyes. ''Everyone is really getting on my nerves today,'' he grumbled to himself in a bad mood. Whoever that was, he would send them away. With quick steps Gavin made his way to the door and he could hardly wait to see the stupid face of the person, when he would tell him to get the fuck out of here. He literally tore open the door. ''The fuck is wrong...'' He immediately fell silent when he saw who was standing at his door. His eyes just stared at the person and Gavin didn't even manage to get a word past his lips. ''Hey, Gavin...'' Y/N was standing in front of him, and God knows Gavin hadn't expected that. But Gavin managed to find his voice again and he leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms in each other. ''What a surprise. What are you doing here?'' His eyes looked at her icily, while Y/N's eyes were lined with regret. It had not been easy for her to take this step and drive here; back to Detroit and back to Gavin to deliver him an explanation for her disappearance. ''May... may I come in?'' ''No'', Gavin replied coldly. He was so angry with her and actually didn't feel like listening to her either. What else did she want from him? Had she been gripped by a guilty conscience and had come here to soothe it? As if it were that simple! ''Gavin, I want to talk to you. Please...'' ''Oh, you want to talk?" Gavin pushed himself off the door frame and walked towards the young woman. He was quite a bit taller than her and as he stood in front of her, he looked down at her. As Gavin looked into her eyes, he saw that she deeply regretted something, but that would not soften him. Her sweet doe eyes would not bring him to his knees. He wasn't an idiot. She had used him once before, and he wouldn't let herself be used a second time. ''After all these fucking years, you come driving up here, thinking you need to talk to me? What do you want to talk to me about, Y/N? Huh?! Wasn't it enough of an answer for you that I ignored your mails? Are you that slow on the uptake?!' His tone was sharp and Y/N had to swallow. She knew Gavin would react that way. He was still the hothead she had come to know. ''Gavin, I-I'm sorry...'' The detective kept his distance from her and now his anger was unstoppable. He was simply stunned by her impudence! She just come here, thinking she would fix anything? With an apology? ''So, you think you can just come here? Apologize and then expect me to forgive you? After all these years, by just leaving me alone? I didn't even know where you were or who you ran off with!'' ''I didn't run off with anyone, Gavin!'' ''Stop lying!" he snapped at her loudly, causing the young woman to flinch. ''And get off my fucking property! Do you understand? I never want to see you again, Y/N!''

"That's the problem, Gavin! You don't listen to anyone, you don't give anyone a chance to justify themselves!'' she replied a little louder now. ''I know I fucked up, okay? But I'm here to talk about it! I don't want to talk my way out of it, but I want to tell you that I made a big mistake and that you detest me for it, I can understand! But please, listen to me! Even if it's only five minutes! Please!" Gavin, however, just shook his head and went back into his house. He slammed the door loudly behind him and just left the young woman standing outside. He didn't want to hear anything! She should get out of his life! She had already done that once. Gavin was growling deep and swallowing hard, his heart hammering wildly against his chest. Suddenly, he swept the bowl off the table that stood in the hallway and cursed loudly. ''FUCK! Why had she come back into his life? No! He wouldn't listen to her! He would only regret it! ''GO TO HELL, Y/N!" he shouted loudly to her and these words hit the young woman very hard. But could she also completely understand his anger. She had just left, broken up with him via text message and he had every reason to hate her. But Y/N owed him an explanation and she hadn't driven all the way out here to leave now. And she wouldn't. She wouldn't wait until Gavin would be ready to listened to her. She didn't expect him to forgive her, because he certainly wouldn't. Y/N knew Gavin very well, and she knew that it was not in his nature to forgive another person for his mistakes. That was just the way he was.

Gavin saw her standing in his front yard from the living room and he could only scoff at that. ''Is she fucking serious?!''

She wasn't going to soften him up with that. For him, she could to stand out there all night freezing her pretty ass off! The young detective took a sip of his beer, and tried convulsively to keep his eyes on the TV. But his eyes kept wandering to Y/N, who was standing there quietly. Heavily annoyed, the detective rolled his eyes. Finally, not wanting to be able to see her anymore, he turned off the television and left the living room. She's acting like a crazy person! She couldn't be that serious! Y/N had had her chance and she had thrown it away. What had he done wrong? Hadn't he always been there for her? All right, he had put a lot of effort into his career to get to where he was now. But if he was honest, he had never blamed himself. He had only ever been angry with her. It suddenly started thundering and it let out such a loud thud that even Gavin winced. ''Oh, shit...'' The water literally shot down from the sky. The young detective looked out the kitchen window and saw the rain pouring down. ''Well, sorry, sweetheart! I guess you should have stayed home!'' He grinned in amusement, imagining how wet she must be now,but she had probably already gotten into her car and driven away. Thinking how she must have run to her car, he laughed in amusement. ''Serves her right. I would still have let the lightning strike!'' But as he walked back into the living room, his laughter faded. Y/N had not moved from the spot. Gavin sighed heavily, and somehow, in retrospect, he felt sorry for having made fun of her just a few minutes ago. He bit his lower lip and looked down at the floor. He wasn't really getting soft now, was he? ''Fuck..." Gavin walked to the front door and opened it. He just couldn't bring himself to leave her out in the rain. Y/N turned to him when she heard the door open and she cautiously rose from her spot. ''Come on in, Y/N...''