#it’s about. fighting to make a better world. or fighting to be a parent. and believing in goodness & being kind and continuing on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cod-imagines · 2 days ago

Text

imagine #6

character: Keegan P. Russ words: 8059 cw: 18+, bit of angst, very mild sexual content (just a little) description: in which Keegan hides out on your family’s farm when a mission goes wrong. (requested anonymously, hope I did it justice!!) a/n: yee-haw I love farmer!Keegan lmfao I hope you guys like it!! this is set before the events of the cod: ghosts game btw!

Your routine never changed. There wasn’t room for variation anymore, not in this world — not here, beyond the Liberty Wall where the Federation watched everything. You got up with the sun, worked until it set, and tried not to be noticed. That was how you survived.

They said your family was spared for “provisions,” but you’d long since stopped pretending that was anything but a half-truth. The Federation let your family exist because you were useful — because your fields fed them, your cows gave milk, your hens laid eggs. And in return, they didn’t burn your land to ash like they did to the neighbours. As long as the soil stayed fertile, as long as the silence was kept, you were allowed to live. But that wasn’t freedom. It was barbed wire shaped into a leash.

You’d been young when it all fell apart — San Diego, your parents, the sky itself. The fire from above had blotted everything out, and by the time the smoke cleared, you were a teenage orphan on a half-burnt patch of land with two aging grandparents and nothing else. Ten years later, you were still there, grown now, hardened by it all. The sun was meaner, the wind sharper, and every shadow on the horizon made your chest go tight.

You stood among the chickens as they shuffled and clucked around your boots, their beady little eyes focused only on the corn you'd scattered. Stupid, greedy birds. But they were gold, in their own way — eggs for barter, meat for when things got bad, and the illusion of normalcy in a world that had long since turned to hell. You wiped your hands against your trousers, faded denim nearly threadbare at the knees, and turned back toward the house. The barn’s wide mouth yawned ahead of you, and your stomach growled as you passed through it, already thinking about the dinner you’d saved for yourself. One meal a day. That was the rule.

You didn’t make it far.

A pair of arms seized you from behind, fast and brutal. Hands clamped over your mouth and nose, cutting off your breath, dragging you backwards before the scream could even leave your throat. You kicked, thrashed, elbowed, but your attacker was stronger — taller, heavier, lean muscle packed into unforgiving armour. Your back slammed into the packed dirt, the scent of hay and oil thick around you as you were forced down behind a pile of straw bales. You twisted, but his weight pressed you flat, pinning you beneath him.

“Stop fighting me, kid—”

You bit his finger.

Hard.

He let out a sharp hiss, yanking his hand back before slamming you down again, his body pressing close to restrain yours. “Fuck,” he snarled. “Alright, alright — just stop! I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Your chest heaved, your pulse thundering in your ears. You froze, just long enough to get a better look at him. His face was half-concealed by a balaclava, a rough, dark thing marked with the faded white of a skull. His gear was military, American — though beat-up and dusted with travel, like he’d been crawling through hell just to get here. But it was his eyes that truly held you in place. Blue — so blue they almost looked unreal, stark and cold and furious. Watching everything.

“Don’t scream,” he said, voice rough, low. Not quite a command, but not a plea either.

You gave a small nod.

He hesitated, then peeled his gloved hand away from your mouth. You gasped in a sharp breath, the air thick with the scent of sweat and grain. Your throat felt raw already.

“You’re not Federation,” you rasped, eyes narrowing.

“No.” His voice was quieter now. “Definitely not.” A beat passed. “Are you?”

You scoffed, disbelief tightening your face. “Do I fucking look like Federation to you?”

“I’m just asking,” he said, raising one hand defensively, as if you were the unpredictable one here. “Calm down.”

The rage hit you all at once — hot, fast, blinding. You twisted your leg and kicked him square in the chest, hard enough to shove him off balance. He grunted, staggered back onto one knee.

“Fuck you,” you snapped, scrambling upright. “You don’t get to grab someone like that, asshole! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done? If anyone saw you — if a patrol even thinks someone’s here — my whole family’s dead.”

His head tilted, skull mask shifting with the motion. “Do that again,” he said, voice clipped, “and I’ll break your leg.”

But there was no fire behind it. Just exhaustion. And something else — something that sounded a hell of a lot like desperation, thinly buried beneath the steel. He didn’t reach for his gun. He didn’t move to stop you again. He just looked at you like he was weighing something in his mind — whether to keep speaking or vanish back into the dust.

“I need somewhere to lay low for a while,” he said, his voice rough with fatigue but steady. “I got separated from my unit a few miles back. Your farm was the first shelter I saw.”

The audacity of it struck you like a slap. For a moment, you could hardly process what he was asking — not because it was complicated, but because it was so unbelievably reckless. Outrage rose sharp and immediate in your chest. Who the hell did he think he was? Some stranger in combat gear, skulking through your barn like a ghost, grabbing you in the dark — and now he was asking for sanctuary like it was nothing? Like it wasn’t your family’s blood on the line?

“You do realize,” you said, slowly, the words raspy, “that if they catch you here, we’ll all be executed. My grandparents. Me. And you.”

It wasn’t a hypothetical. The Federation didn’t ask questions. They didn’t issue warnings or offer mercy. They came with fire and bullets and orders, and they left with corpses. You’d seen it before — neighbours who made the mistake of helping the wrong person, or even just saying the wrong thing. You’d helped dig the graves afterward.

But then — he moved. One gloved hand reached up, and in a single motion, he tugged his balaclava off and dropped it into the hay beside him.

You weren’t prepared for what you saw.

He was a little younger than you’d assumed — probably just over thirty, if that — with sharp, storm-cut features that should’ve belonged in a world untouched by war. High cheekbones, a strong jaw shadowed with stubble, a mouth set in a thin, pouty line. There was a deep, stubborn dimple in his chin, like a scar from childhood. And those eyes — still blue, still cutting — suddenly seemed far too human up close. Too beautiful. They caught you off guard in a way that had nothing to do with safety. Something pulled low in your stomach before you could even pretend to stop it.

“I’m asking you to trust me, kid,” he said, voice softer now. “Can you do that?”

You gritted your teeth. Manipulation. It had to be. A face like that didn’t just happen to look at you like that — not in a world like this. Not unless he wanted something. And maybe he did. Shelter. Safety. Food. You didn’t know. But what infuriated you the most was that it was working.

“You’ll have to speak to my grandfather,” you muttered. “I don’t call the shots here.”

He nodded once. “Fine. Take me to him.”

Of course your grandfather had said yes. Because that was the kind of man he was — old, wise, and generous to a fault. He’d looked the soldier up and down, taken in the dirt and the way his voice dipped with exhaustion, and simply nodded. No questions, no fuss. Just a quiet, “You’ll stay as long as you need to. Might as well eat too.”

Now, Keegan — he said that was his name, only once, like it didn’t matter — was seated at the dinner table, freshly changed into an old pair of your grandfather’s jeans and a soft, sun-bleached flannel. The shirt was a little too small for him, stretched tight across his chest and shoulders as he worked steadily through a plate of food meant for someone else. Meant for you.

You hadn’t said a word. Just watched from the corner of the kitchen, arms folded, mouth pressed thin. You hadn’t offered it to him, hadn’t made any grand gesture of sacrifice. But you’d let it happen. You’d stood by while your dinner was scraped into his bowl and you told yourself it was fine. You’d get used to the ache. You always did.

He spoke softly, now and then, responding to your grandfather’s occasional remarks or your grandmother’s quiet questions. Nothing personal. Nothing deep. He was careful not to give much away — always watching, always assessing — but polite. Cordial. It made you feel even more on edge.

When the dishes were cleared and your grandparents had retired for the night, you found yourself in the living room, dragging old blankets out of the chest by the hearth. The couch creaked under your touch as you layered one over the lumpy cushions, then another. You didn’t want to be hospitable. But your hands moved anyway, folding a pillow, adjusting the threadbare quilt. It felt mechanical. Performative. Like you were playing a role that had been handed to you long ago: the girl who obeyed, who made room, who didn’t ask for anything in return.

“I’ll sleep here,” you said without looking up, smoothing the blanket. “You can take my room upstairs.”

Keegan stood in the doorway, one hand braced against the frame, arms crossed. You could feel his eyes on your back. You didn’t know if it was suspicion, or guilt, or something else entirely.

He didn’t thank you.

You didn’t expect him to.

⟡

The coughing didn’t stop. It had started faintly sometime before dawn, low and rasping, buried beneath the creaks of the old farmhouse, and by the time the sky turned the colour of pale ash, it had grown louder. Wet. Persistent. You heard it before your feet even touched the floor. It twisted low in your gut, a sound you recognized far too well, one that always carried the same dread-heavy question: Is this the one that ends him?

You padded down the hallway, socks catching against rough wood, and stepped into the kitchen that still smelled faintly of last night’s boiled potatoes. Keegan sat at the table, elbows resting on his knees, hunched forward like a man used to discomfort. His head tilted up slightly as you entered, eyes scanning you briefly before flicking back to the empty wall as if trying to make himself smaller. He didn’t speak. There was no food on the stove, no plates set, no hum of the kettle — just silence, thick and watchful, and the rhythmic hack of your grandfather’s lungs echoing faintly from the room upstairs.

Your grandmother came in moments later, her apron still tied from the night before, her hands trembling and dry at her sides. The way she looked at you — soft, resigned — told you everything before she even opened her mouth.

“He couldn’t get up,” she said, voice barely a whisper. “He’s burning up. Said it hit him in the night. You’ll need to tend to the fields today, sweetheart.”

You nodded stiffly, though a raw panic was beginning to thrum beneath your ribs. A cough like that could be anything — pneumonia, a cold — but none of those things ended well out here. There were no doctors. No antibiotics. No trips to town that didn’t come with a Federation checkpoint and the risk of being disappeared. And he was old. Too old to be fighting off something like this without help. You clenched your jaw to keep your voice steady.

“Okay,” you said.

You didn’t wait for Keegan’s reaction, didn’t look back to see if he was still watching. You shoved on your boots by the back door, pulling your coat over yesterday’s clothes, the fabric still stiff with dried sweat and dust. The barn smelled like cold diesel and sun-warmed hay, the morning light filtering in through the warped wooden slats in pale stripes. You moved automatically — feed first, then fence checks, then water line inspection — already running through the order of tasks in your head like a prayer. Like if you just focused hard enough, you could keep everything from falling apart.

You were halfway through setting the buckets when the barn door creaked behind you.

“You alright?” Keegan’s voice broke the quiet like a stone tossed into still water. You didn’t turn around.

“I’m busy,” you muttered.

He stepped inside anyway, heavy boots crunching on old hay. “I’m sorry about your grandfather.”

“Sure.”

“I mean it.”

You spun, fast and sharp, the tension crackling off you like static. “Look, I don’t need your pity, alright? I need the sun to stay up, the cows to not kick over the pails, and I need him to not die, so unless you’ve got something helpful to say—”

“I want to help.” He met your glare without flinching. “I know I’m not family. But I’m here too for now. Let me do something useful.”

You blinked, taken aback by the way he said it — flat, almost weary. No smugness. No charm. Just that gravel-edged voice and those winter-coloured eyes trying to make you understand something unspoken. It should have softened you. It didn’t.

“What, you think you can just roll in here with your guns and your uniform and suddenly you’re farmhand of the year?” You crossed your arms. “You think pulling security detail and running through training drills somehow qualifies you to mend a busted irrigation pipe or birth a breech calf?”

Keegan’s brow twitched, but his voice stayed even. “Didn’t say I was an expert. Said I’d help.”

“You don’t know how,” you snapped. “You don’t know the land, or the soil, or how the gates swell in the rain and need a hard shoulder to close them. You don’t know the difference between feed hay and bedding hay. You’re a soldier — not a farmer.”

“I’m a survivor,” he said, stepping closer now, the quiet heat of his presence suddenly tangible in the morning chill. “And survivors adapt. You don’t think I’ve had to fix a generator in the dark with a busted hand? Or shovel out latrines after someone dumped a septic tank in the wrong place? You think I’m too soft because I slept on your couch and ate your stew?”

You scoffed, but your arms dropped to your sides. “No. I think you’re used to shooting your problems.”

“And you’re used to ignoring anyone who offers to help you.”

That landed like a slap.

You stared at him, jaw clenched, fists curling at your sides. You wanted to scream, to shove him, to ask who the hell he thought he was, stepping into your barn, into your world, and pretending like he had any say in what happened next. But the words didn’t come. They sat bitter and heavy in your throat.

“You want to help?” you said finally, your voice low and shaking. “Fine.”

You turned and stormed out of the barn without checking if he was behind you. You didn’t need to. You could already hear his boots crunching in the gravel, steady and maddeningly sure.

⟡

By the time the sun hit its highest point in the sky, the heat was a weight pressed against your back. Sweat soaked the collar of your shirt, dust clung to your skin, and the ache in your arms had settled into something dull and constant. Even Keegan looked worn, his sleeves rolled to the elbows, dirt streaked along his forearms and across the side of his neck where he’d wiped his face. You hadn’t spoken for the last half hour — not since your fourth argument, this one about whether the fencing near the orchard should be patched from the inside or out. You’d called him a stubborn bastard; he’d called you a mule in boots. Neither of you had been wrong.

Eventually, you muttered that you needed a break, and he followed without comment.

You led him to the clearing nestled deep in the cornfield, a place carved out by your own hands over the years — small, shielded, quiet. The stalks surrounded you like walls, thick and golden, swaying gently with the breeze, their dry rustling voices swallowing up the sound of the outside world. Even the house felt far away here, unreachable. This was where you came when everything grew too loud. When you needed to scream or cry or just sit and remember how to breathe.

You tugged the frayed old blanket from where it was folded in the crook of the crate you kept hidden beneath the corn, shook the dust off, and dropped it down over the grass. It was faded, sun-bleached, a patch of something that once might’ve been blue. You sat cross-legged and tossed a few apricots into the center from the bag you'd carried — soft-skinned and warm from where they’d been tucked in your pocket.

Keegan dropped beside you, lowering himself with a tired grunt. His weight sank heavily into the blanket, close enough that you felt the shift, but not close enough to touch. He took an apricot without asking, wiped the fuzz on his jeans, and bit in.

For a while, that was all you did. Sit. Chew. Swallow. Watch the sky through the weaving blades of corn above. The silence was almost comforting.

“They asked us to evacuate,” you said eventually, voice quiet and raw at the edges. “A few months after everything went down. They came in trucks. Told us it wasn’t safe to be here anymore. Said anyone who stayed was choosing to be forgotten.” You looked down at your hands. Dirt under your nails. Small scratches on your knuckles. You flexed them. “But my grandparents have lived on this land since they were kids. Same farmhouse, same soil, same prayers every Sunday. They weren’t going anywhere. And I wasn’t about to leave them behind just because some guy in a uniform told me to.”

Keegan didn’t respond right away. He leaned back on his hands, tilted his face up toward the sun. The light caught in the strands of his dark hair, made the blue of his eyes seem even sharper when he finally glanced at you.

“I get that,” he said, low and even. “I was eighteen when I enlisted. Barely out of high school. Didn’t even wait for the ink on my diploma to dry. Just signed up. Thought I’d see the world. Serve. Do something that mattered.” He took another bite of the fruit, chewed slowly. “I was a Marine. Before ODIN. Before it all burned.”

You looked at him. He didn’t seem lifetimes older than you now, but there was something about the way he sat — bone-tired and wary, like every inch of him had been carved out by years he didn’t talk about.

“Did you ever think it’d turn out like this?” you asked softly.

He didn’t answer. Didn’t even blink. Just stared out at the stalks like he saw something else through them — ghosts of a world that had already crumbled.

You didn’t ask again.

Instead, you wiped your hands on your thighs, brushed crumbs of apricot from the corner of your mouth, and said, “Thanks. For earlier. I know I wasn’t easy to deal with.”

Keegan gave a short grunt that might’ve been a laugh. “Understatement of the century, kid.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled despite yourself. “Still. You didn’t have to help.”

“Yeah, well. I’m stuck here, remember? Figured I might as well make myself useful before you try to smother me in my sleep.”

You laughed, quiet and short, and then stretched out on the blanket, arms above your head, letting the sun bake into your skin. The air smelled like warm earth and drying leaves, sweetened faintly by the apricots. For a moment, everything felt almost normal.

Keegan shifted beside you, the blanket rustling under his weight.

“Has it always just been you?” he asked after a pause.

Your eyes opened lazily, squinting up at the sky. “What do you mean?”

He scratched his jaw, glanced sideways. “I mean… anyone else around? Someone you care about? You got somebody waitin’ on you out here, kid?”

The word kid landed different that time. Less condescending. Softer, somehow. You turned your head toward him, caught the flicker of curiosity in his expression — genuine, but guarded. Like he didn’t know if he had the right to ask, but couldn’t help himself anyway.

You didn’t answer right away.

You turned your face back up to the sky, lashes fluttering against the swell of sun. It was easier than looking at him—than facing the question for what it was. You let the heat settle on your skin and inhaled deeply, as if oxygen alone could soften the ache in your chest.

“I can’t even think about that,” you said finally, voice quiet but edged. “Romance. Love. Whatever it is you’re asking about. It doesn’t matter here. My grandparents need me. They’re old, and this land is the only thing they know. They’ve got no one else. If I leave—” You trailed off and shrugged, a sharp motion against the warm ground. “Then I’m just one more person who let them be forgotten.”

Keegan was quiet for a second too long, and you could feel the tension pull taut beside you, coiling like a live wire. When he spoke, it was with a roughness that hadn’t been there before.

“You gotta live your own life, kid,” he said, the word clipped, tired. “You can’t just keep putting yourself last forever. That’s not survival. That’s slow suicide.”

You frowned, sitting up now, brushing bits of hay off your arm. “And do what, exactly?” you snapped. “Where the fuck am I supposed to find someone? Where do you think people like me go to fall in love? The ration line?”

His gaze cut to you then, sharp, but not cruel. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You sure?” you asked, your voice getting tighter, thinner. “You come in here, sleep under my roof, eat our food, help out for half a day and suddenly you’re giving life advice?”

He let out a slow breath, like he was trying hard not to let the bite creep into his voice. “North of the Liberty Wall,” he said finally. “It’s not paradise, but it’s not this. There’s no patrols breathing down your neck. No risk of being shot for walking too far from your own damn porch. No curfews. No checkpoints. It’s still broken, sure, but there’s a kind of freedom there. People date. They laugh. They live.”

You flinched, only slightly, but it was enough. He saw it. And the silence that followed dragged heavy between you, thick as the summer air.

You shook your head, eyes fixed on the crumpled blanket beneath your hand. “There was a boy,” you murmured. “Years back. I was maybe nineteen, twenty. He used to help around the farm. He was kind. Brave. I thought—” You stopped yourself, then blew out a humorless laugh. “Well. I thought a lot of things. And then one day, he shows up in Federation gray. Patch on his arm. Said it was the only way to stay safe. Said it didn’t mean anything. That he’d protect us.”

You looked up, eyes cold and distant. “Two weeks later, he watched them burn the neighbouring field. Didn’t even blink.”

Keegan didn’t say anything for a moment. His brows were drawn tight, but he didn’t speak until the silence stretched too long to ignore.

“Not everyone’s like that, kid,” he said gently. “Some people still know where the line is. Some still fight for the right things.”

“Do they?” you asked. “Because I haven’t seen them.”

“I’m right here, aren’t I?”

You looked at him then, really looked. The way his shoulders sat stiff beneath the worn flannel, the way his fingers flexed against his thigh like he wasn’t used to being still this long. His face was serious, unreadable, but his voice stayed low.

“I could get you out.”

You blinked. “What?”

“When my unit comes for me,” he said, eyes holding yours, “and they will come for me — I could get you out. Not your grandparents — we can’t make it to the wall with them. But you. I could get you north. Somewhere safer. Somewhere you could start over.”

The words hit you like a slap. You sat up straighter, heart pounding with a mix of disbelief and fury.

“You think I’d leave them?” you asked, voice sharp now, loud in the little clearing. “You think I’d just run off and start a new life somewhere while they stay here and die in the dirt?”

“I didn’t say that—”

“You did. You fucking did. Think you can just throw a lifeline and make everything disappear.”

His jaw tightened. “Forget it.”

“No — go ahead. Tell me how grateful I should be, how lucky I am to be your little charity case.”

“I said forget it.” His voice cracked out like a gunshot, louder than you’d ever heard it. He pushed himself to his feet in one motion, tension bleeding from every line of his frame. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

You stared up at him, breathing hard, chest tight with something hot and cruel and unspoken.

He didn’t look at you as he turned to walk away. Just muttered under his breath, “Never mind, kid.”

His boot came down hard on the last apricot between you, crushing it into the blanket with a dull squish before he stalked off between the corn, vanishing into the rows without another word. You sat there alone, the sun heavy above you, and listened to the wind move through the stalks like a thousand whispers you didn’t want to hear.

⟡

A few days passed. The corn kept growing. The sky stayed blue. And against the odds, your grandfather began to mend.

It was a slow thing, the way his breath came easier, the coughs less chest-wracking. He could sit up by the third morning, grumble about the soup being too thin by the fourth. He still wasn’t out of bed, but you could see it — life returning in fits and starts, that same stubbornness you knew too well shining through the cracks in his frailty. Your grandmother wept once behind the shed, soft and private, her apron bunched against her mouth, but said nothing about it after.

And Keegan—

Keegan stayed.

He kept working. Fixing the fence you’d sworn couldn’t be salvaged. Feeding the livestock without needing to be told. Helping your grandmother carry buckets, lifting things with quiet precision. Still fought you on everything, though — still made you roll your eyes, still made you want to scream when he refused to back down about the proper way to fortify a trough or check for signs of rot. But he was there. Solid. Capable. And worst of all — he had planted something in you. Not quite a dream, not yet, but something just as dangerous: hope.

You hated him for that.

Because you caught yourself wondering, in the quiet hours, what the world looked like beyond the Wall. What your life might be if it wasn’t measured in chores and ration lines, in sacrifice. You wondered what your hands would feel like without blisters. What your name might sound like when it wasn’t only called in need, but in want.

And that made you sick. With guilt. With shame. Because you’d chosen this. You’d promised to stay. You were the one who didn’t run.

But still.

That night, you couldn’t sleep. Your grandparents had gone to bed hours ago, the farmhouse fallen into its usual hush, all the weight of the day settled into the floorboards. You lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, a threadbare blanket tangled around your legs. The porch light still burned beyond the front window — dim and golden, filtering through the curtains like a safety net. You hadn’t turned it off in years. Couldn’t. Something about total darkness always made your chest tighten.

You heard the stairs creak, slow and hesitant.

Then Keegan padded into the room barefoot, dressed in a soft, washed-thin T-shirt and a pair of faded flannel pajama pants that looked older than both of you. His hair was messy, sticking up at strange angles, and his expression was quieter than usual, as if the night had made him smaller somehow.

“Can’t sleep either?” you asked, sitting up and drawing your knees close.

He shook his head, rubbed the back of his neck. “Nah. Not really.”

You moved over instinctively, and he took the offered space beside you. The couch dipped under his weight, his thigh warm and close beside yours, and the quiet stretched between you like a thread pulled too tight.

“I owe you an apology,” he said eventually. “For before. For — all of it.”

You raised a brow. “You? Apologizing? Did you hit your head on a rake or something?”

He gave a dry huff of a laugh, shaking his head. “I’ve just been — on edge. Not knowing if my unit’s still coming. Not knowing if I’m making things worse by being here. I didn’t mean to take that out on you.”

You looked at him then, more closely. Even in the low light, you could see it — how the skin around his eyes was tight, how the shadows clung to him. Not just fatigue. Fear. Loneliness. The kind that settled in your bones when you’d gone too long without touch, without kindness, without someone looking at you and seeing you.

“I get it,” you murmured. “Doesn’t mean you weren’t an ass.”

“I’m always an ass,” he replied, voice a little softer. “But yeah. More than usual lately.”

You nudged him lightly with your shoulder, just a little tap, a half-hearted gesture meant to tease. But the way he tensed ever so slightly, the way his breath hitched for just a second — it told you everything. He wasn’t used to being touched. Not like that. Not without it meaning pain or orders or nothing at all.

Which was fucking rich, because you were starving too.

You tried to ignore how close he was. Tried to focus on the porch light, the faint rustle of trees beyond the window. But his warmth was radiating off him in waves, and every breath you took seemed to sync a little more with his.

You nudged him with your shoulder again, more out of habit than playfulness, trying to shake off the heaviness that clung to your conversation like dust in the air. He didn’t move away. If anything, he leaned closer, his knee now brushing yours where it hadn’t before. You should’ve shifted, should’ve drawn back, but the truth was — it felt nice. Familiar in a way that made you ache. Too many nights spent alone in that same spot on the couch, watching the porch light flicker against the glass while the rest of the world forgot you existed. And now here he was, warm and solid beside you, quiet for once.

Keegan glanced over, and his eyes lingered a moment longer than they should have. “You ever get tired of pretending you don’t want things?” he asked.

You blinked, not sure if you’d heard him right. “What the hell are you on about?”

He smiled, faint and crooked. “Means you act like you’ve got everything under control. Like you don’t want more than this — more than this damn farm, this life. But I see it, kid. I’ve seen it in your face every time you look past me when I talk about the Wall.”

You swallowed hard, throat dry. “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what I can live with.”

“And you can’t live with wanting something?”

You didn’t answer, and maybe that was answer enough. The silence stretched again, thicker now, more charged. The air between you felt heavy with everything neither of you was brave enough to say.

Keegan leaned back slightly, resting one arm along the back of the couch, his fingers just barely brushing your shoulder. “You know,” he murmured, eyes flicking down to your mouth, “I’ve been thinking about kissing you.”

The words made your pulse spike. They landed too suddenly, too softly, and for a moment you weren’t sure if you’d imagined them. You turned your head toward him, slow and unsure.

“What?”

“I said,” he repeated, voice low but unshaken, “I’ve been thinking about kissing you. For days now. Maybe since you bit my fucking finger back in the barn.”

You huffed out a breath that was almost a laugh, but it didn’t quite reach your chest. Your throat was too tight. “You’ve got a real talent for choosing the worst possible time to open your mouth.”

“Yeah,” he said, eyes still locked to yours, his tone dipping even further, “but I’m saying it now because I want to. Because I’m tired, and you’re tired, and if this is all we get — this night, this moment — I’d rather not waste it.”

You stared at him, trying to be angry, trying to summon that same edge you always had around him. But it slipped away, like mist between your fingers, leaving something rawer in its place. Want. Need. The horrible, aching recognition of being seen when you’d spent so long convincing yourself you were invisible.

“You really wanna do this?” you asked, voice rough.

“Yeah,” he said. “I really do.”

You opened your mouth to reply, maybe to tell him to shut up, maybe to warn him that you’d regret it, maybe to say yes. But before you could decide, he was already moving — leaning in slow, as if to give you time to pull away. You didn’t. You couldn’t.

And then he kissed you.

It wasn’t cautious. There was no hesitation left in him. His mouth pressed to yours with a hunger that had clearly been building in the shadows of all your arguments, a collision of tension and heat and breath. His hand came up to cup the side of your face, his thumb rough against your cheek, and he kissed you like someone who hadn’t touched softness in years. Like someone who wasn’t sure if he ever would again.

You kissed him back just as hard.

Your fingers curled into the front of his shirt, pulling him closer until there was nothing left between you but shared warmth and the scrape of breath. He tasted like salt and dust and something clean beneath it all, something warm. Your body leaned into his without thinking, your knees brushing, thighs flush, the whole couch groaning beneath the weight of it. His hand dropped to your waist, not demanding, just holding — like he needed the contact to stay tethered.

You broke for air, only barely, your foreheads pressed together. Neither of you spoke. You didn’t need to. His hand was still at your jaw, thumb stroking the edge of your chin, and your own fingers clung to the fabric at his chest like you were afraid he’d disappear if you let go.

You stayed like that for a long moment — forehead to forehead, your breath mingling, the only sound the soft creak of the couch as the house settled around you. His hand hadn’t moved from your jaw, but it loosened now, easing into something gentler, his thumb brushing across the edge of your cheek like he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

But eventually, he did.

Keegan pulled back slowly, just far enough to look at you. His expression had shifted — less heat, more something else. Something careful. His eyes searched yours for a beat, and then he gave a faint exhale, almost like he was laughing at himself.

“You should get some sleep, kid,” he said, voice quieter now. Rough around the edges. “It’s late.”

You didn’t respond right away. Your hands were still fisted in the front of his shirt, and for a second, you thought about holding on a little longer. Just a little more warmth. Just a little more proof that someone saw you.

But you let him go.

He stood slowly, the couch groaning beneath the shift in weight. His silhouette moved through the dim gold of the porch light as he crossed the room, every step a soft thud against the wood floor. At the base of the stairs, he paused, one hand on the banister. You thought he might look back, say something more. Offer another fragment of comfort or tension or whatever the hell this thing between you had become.

But he didn’t.

He just disappeared up the stairs, leaving you behind in the silence.

You sat back, slowly, your fingers tingling where they’d held onto him, your mouth still warm with the memory of his. The blanket was half on the floor. The porch light burned steady.

⟡

The kitchen was warm and still, the porch light casting soft gold across the floorboards as you stood in your worn nightclothes, spooning cherry stems into your mug. You could hear the frogs outside, the low rustle of wind in the corn, that sleepy hum of the house settling into silence for the night. Everyone else was asleep. You were supposed to be, too.

But you couldn’t stop thinking. Couldn’t stop remembering.

The kettle hissed on the stove, its steam barely audible, and you watched it with glazed eyes. The cherry stems were from the last harvest, dried and kept in an old jam jar, their scent delicate and faintly sweet. You brewed them sometimes to calm your nerves. Headaches, your grandmother claimed. Nightmares, maybe. But tonight you weren’t sure anything could settle you. Not when you were still carrying the phantom weight of Keegan’s kiss on your lips, your hands, your goddamn spine. You hadn’t stopped replaying it since it happened the night before — how close he’d been, how his breath had caught when your fingers curled into his shirt, how he’d looked at you like he meant it.

And fuck, you’d wanted more. Not just the kiss, not just the heat of his mouth against yours. You’d wanted to ride him into the couch cushions and grind every ounce of control back into your body. You wanted to stop feeling like a ghost haunting her own life and instead take something. Someone. Him.

But he’d walked away. Left you curled on the couch with your heart thudding in your ears like it was trying to break free.

You reached for the kettle just as a hand clamped over your mouth.

It happened so fast your brain didn’t have time to catch up — just the weight of an arm around your chest and the thick press of a body behind you, yanking you back so hard your feet left the floor for half a second. Your mug slipped from your hand and shattered across the kitchen tile, the smell of tea mixing with adrenaline, with panic, with your own stifled scream caught beneath a stranger’s palm.

“Where is he?” the voice growled in your ear, low and sharp and unfamiliar. “Where’s Keegan Russ?”

You thrashed, trying to turn, elbowing wildly against the stranger’s chest, but he didn’t let go. He gave you a hard shake — sharp, jolting — and repeated himself, louder this time. “Where is he?”

The floor creaked.

Then more footsteps, heavier now, coming from the stairs behind you. Light burst from the hallway as your grandmother’s voice rang out, trembling and confused. “Who’s down here?”

Another creak. A shift of weight. And then—

“Ajax.”

The voice was low and unmistakably Keegan’s.

The grip on you vanished in an instant.

You stumbled forward, catching yourself on the counter, gasping for breath, head spinning. Behind you, the stranger backed off, hands up in a half-apology, his frame still blocking part of the kitchen doorway.

Keegan came into view fast, shirtless and barefoot, flannel pants slung low on his hips, his expression half panic, half fury. Behind him, your grandmother hovered near the wall, her hands trembling slightly at her sides.

The man who’d grabbed you straightened and grinned like it was nothing. “Shit, my bad,” he said, voice relaxed now. “Didn’t realize she was yours.”

Keegan didn’t look at you yet. He stepped forward, shoulders relaxing slightly, and walked straight into the stranger’s open arms. They embraced like brothers, with a quick, hard clap on the back, and then another.

“Thought you got yourself killed,” the man said. “You know how long we’ve been combing this fucking region?”

“Long enough,” Keegan replied, voice quieter now. “You scared the hell out of her.”

“She looked like she could handle herself.” The man glanced back at you, grinning like you were in on the joke. “Didn’t expect you to be hanging around in civilian clothes and sleeping with chickens.”

You didn’t say anything. Your chest was still heaving, your hands trembling slightly. You could hear your grandmother breathing fast beside the doorframe, trying to calm herself, trying to make sense of the armed man in her kitchen.

Keegan’s attention turned sharply toward her then, his voice softening. “It’s okay,” he said. “They’re my team. This is Ajax. They’re not here to hurt anyone.”

Another shadow moved through the door, this one broader. A wall of a man, easily over six feet, with a square jaw and quiet authority that filled the room before he even spoke.

“Captain Merrick,” Keegan said, acknowledging him with a nod. He stepped back from Ajax, then motioned to you and your grandmother. “This is the family that took me in. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be standing here.”

Captain Merrick stepped forward and offered a short, respectful nod. “We appreciate what you did,” he said, voice low but clear. “You didn’t have to, but you did. That means something.”

Keegan glanced back at his team, who were starting to crowd the entryway — more soldiers, all armed, all watching everything with sharp, tactical eyes. And then he looked at you, really looked. And his voice, when he spoke again, was softer than you’d ever heard it.

“She’s the one who saved my life.”

⟡

The realization that he was really leaving didn’t hit you like a sudden blow — it came in slow waves, creeping through your veins like cold water. Your fingers wouldn’t stop shaking. You’d pressed your palms together, tucked them under your arms, curled them into the fabric of your shirt, but it didn’t matter. The tremble was inside you now, deeper than bone, and it only grew worse every time you glanced at him. He looked too much like a soldier again, already halfway gone. Already belonging to something you couldn’t follow.

You didn’t say anything as you followed him up the stairs, your footsteps muffled by the old wood, shadows stretching across the walls like long fingers. His presence filled your bedroom again, but not like before — this time he moved with quiet purpose, his breath steady, his hands practiced. The gear you’d stashed beneath the floorboards now lay out in careful rows across your quilt: the worn fatigues, flak vest, the sidearm, the boots. You hadn’t touched it since the night you’d buried it there, just in case. Just in case the Federation came.

Keegan stripped out of his sleep clothes and began dressing in silence. You watched as the softness you’d seen glimpses of — the man who sat beside you in the dark, who kissed you like he meant it — slowly disappeared beneath layers of armour and camo. He tightened his vest, slotted his sidearm into place, adjusted the strap of his knife sheath. By the time he stepped into his boots, you weren’t looking at a person anymore. You were looking at a ghost, already halfway out the door.

You stood at the foot of the bed, arms wrapped around yourself. “So this is it,” you said, and even to your own ears, the words sounded small.

Keegan looked up, paused. His hands stilled over the last strap on his thigh. He didn’t ask you what you meant. He knew. The silence between you said everything. He walked toward you, slow, steady, until he was standing right in front of you again, reaching out to cup your face with both hands. His palms were warm, his thumbs rough from calluses but gentle as they brushed against your cheeks. You hadn’t realized tears had gathered in your eyes until that moment.

“It’s not too late,” he murmured, his voice low and thick with something heavier than he could hide. “You could come with us. With me.”

Your throat closed around the words. You blinked quickly, the tears refusing to fall, refusing to move. You wanted so badly to say yes. To grab your boots, your coat, throw yourself into one of those trucks and never look back. But you’d made a promise. And out here, promises still meant something. Especially when the people you made them to were old and tired and had already lost too much.

“You know I can’t,” you whispered, shaking your head slowly against his hands. “They need me, Keegan. My grandparents — they can’t do this alone. And I can’t — I won’t — abandon them.”

He closed his eyes. Just for a moment. When he opened them again, they were clear and quiet, but something in his jaw tightened, like he was biting down on the things he couldn’t say.

“You’re too good for your own good, kid,” he said softly, and there was no teasing in it this time. No edge. Just something close to grief. “That’s the problem with you.”

You almost laughed, but it came out as more of a broken exhale. You leaned into his touch for one final moment, pressing your cheek to his palm. Memorizing the shape of him. The warmth. The steadiness you wouldn’t have tomorrow.

Downstairs, Ajax’s voice cut through the stillness. “Clock’s ticking, Russ. You ready?”

Keegan didn’t move right away. Just dropped his hands from your face and gave you one last look before turning to grab his balaclava off the dresser.

You walked beside him down the stairs, neither of you speaking now. Outside, the world felt larger than it ever had — too many shadows, too much air, and none of it felt like yours anymore. There were armoured trucks parked just beyond the corn line, their black paint glinting under the moon. You counted four, though there were more figures than that in the field — men in gear, weapons slung across their backs, all moving with quiet, military precision.

Keegan stepped off the porch, his boots crunching against the gravel path. You followed him, your hand brushing against his once, briefly, and he didn’t pull away. Didn’t say anything until you reached the edge of the field where the tall corn began again, shivering gently in the wind.

He turned to you there. The moonlight caught in his eyes, made him look younger for a second — like the boy he might’ve been once, before the world cracked open.

He didn’t say goodbye.

Instead, he leaned down and kissed you.

His lips brushed your jaw first, then your cheek, slow and reverent, and finally found your mouth like it was the last thing he’d ever let himself have. His stubble scratched your skin, rough and real, and the kiss he gave you wasn’t frantic or hungry — it was honest. Warm. Full of everything he hadn’t said out loud. Full of everything you’d never forget.

When he pulled back, his breath was shallow. He rested his forehead against yours for a beat and whispered, “I’ll be back for you, kid.”

Then he stepped away and pulled the balaclava over his face, the white of the skull grinning back at you like a warning.

And without another word, he turned and walked into the field.

You watched him until the corn swallowed him whole. Until the trucks rumbled to life and slipped back into the dark, engines fading into nothing. Until the porch light behind you flickered once and then held steady again.

52 notes · View notes

sylus-shivanika · 13 hours ago

Note

The Shaadi idea with Sylus - Mendhi night. Since he doesn't have any blood family aside from the twins & Mephisto, your family invite them over. They're given flower garlands and turmeric/haldi facials, forcefeeding them sweetmeats and snacks.

But Sylus misses you (he's not allowed to see you until the next day for the wedding) and you text him that you're getting your Mendhi done. You send him a picture. You simply tell him that his name is hidden somewhere in the patterns and that he has to find it on your wedding night - If he wants to do anything after.

There's something so innocent & sweet about these wedding rituals that caters to his possessive nature. He tolerates all the fussing over him and gets to bond with your family, knowing what's in store.

The bride he couldn't resist.

Sylus × desi fem!reader.

It all began on the haldi day.

You and Sylus sat side by side, glowing under soft golden sunlight, surrounded by the laughter and teasing of your family. He wasn’t used to rituals like these, but he quietly let them smear turmeric on his cheeks, allowed them to place marigold garlands around his neck, and accepted every sweetmeat and snack offered with affection.

He stayed calm and observant, his usual intensity softened just a little in the warmth of the moment. Yet, every time someone mentioned your name, there was a flicker in his eyes that told a different story. One that only you understood.

When he tried to leave after the ceremony, your family gently stopped him. They asked him to stay until the wedding, knowing he had no blood family. He only had the twins and Mephisto, and they wanted him to feel like he belonged. He wasn’t just marrying you. He was becoming part of your home.

And Sylus had already earned their love. He was quiet but respectful, polite yet protective, and there was something in the way he looked at you that made everyone believe you were the safest person in the world.

That night, you had an idea. A game.

You remembered how your last prank on him had failed miserably. This time, you wanted to make it count. So, you chose something from tradition, something playful yet rooted in culture. In some weddings, the bride and groom were not allowed to see each other until the wedding day. What better excuse to tease him?

You told your parents, and they laughed. Not only did they agree, they encouraged it. They wanted to see how far Sylus would go.

That evening at dinner, Sylus sat with your parents, talking more than he usually did. But soon, he noticed your absence. His expression shifted. He looked around once, then again, confused.

“Where is she?” he asked your parents.

Your father smiled, taking a sip of water. “She won’t be joining tonight. You’re not allowed to see her until the wedding day.”

Sylus looked genuinely stunned. “What? Since when?”

“Since now,” your mother replied, amused. “She wanted to try a tradition. You’ll see her tomorrow.”

Sylus clenched his jaw slightly but said nothing. The idea of not seeing you until the wedding day didn’t sit well with him. You knew that. You were counting on it.

But he didn’t fight it. He waited until dinner was over, then quietly picked up a food tray and walked toward your room. Your parents saw him, exchanged a knowing glance, and let him go.

Just before he reached your door, Mephisto arrived at your window and let out a loud caw. You grinned. That sound had always been his warning. Sylus was close.

You picked Mephisto up with a giggle. “Thanks, Mephie. You didn’t let me lose this time.”

You quickly covered your face with your dupatta like a soft veil, and just as you finished adjusting it, there was a knock. You opened the door slowly. Sylus stood there, tray in hand, clearly annoyed to find your face covered again.

“Oh? Is someone upset?” you teased, your voice light and sweet.

Sylus narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t win. That’s cheating. Mephisto warned you.”

“He just helped me. That’s not cheating,” you pouted.

He gave a short chuckle. “Keep going, kitten. I’ll come up with a stronger plan next time.”

He handed you the food tray and walked off, still visibly frustrated. You turned to Mephisto and whispered, “Keep an eye on him. Let me know if he tries anything sneaky.”

Mephisto cawed again and flew away. You couldn’t help but laugh. The game had only just begun.

That night, Sylus tossed and turned in bed. The idea of not seeing your face for even a single day burned in his mind. It was unbearable. You knew it would be.

The next morning was the mehendi ceremony. You sat with your friends and cousins, hands outstretched as the artist drew delicate floral designs across your palms. The scent of henna filled the air, and with a playful smile, you leaned toward the artist and whispered your request.

“Can you hide the letter 'S' somewhere in my right hand?”

The artist smiled and nodded, working the hidden letter beautifully into the pattern. You had another plan. Another challenge.

Later that night, you were hungry but unable to eat. The mehendi on your hands was still fresh. You were just about to call your mother when she called out instead, saying she was getting her own mehendi done.

You frowned. That wasn’t the plan.

Before you could react, arms wrapped around your waist and turned you gently. Your breath caught in your throat as you came face to face with him. Your veil slipped, revealing your face fully for the first time since haldi.

“Sylus,” you gasped.

He looked down at you with that same fire, only stronger now. “You were going to call Mom to feed you.”

“She was supposed to help me,” you said, still surprised. “This isn’t fair.”

“I told her to get her mehendi done,” he confessed, his voice low and teasing. “I warned you. You wouldn’t win.”

You clenched your jaw. “Fine. But be ready for tomorrow. I’ll make you lose.”

He smirked. “I’ll always win if it means I get to see your face.”

Before you could respond, he took your hand, brought it to his lips, and whispered, “Let me feed you.”

He took you to your room, sat you down gently, and began feeding you small bites. He even blew on each spoonful to cool it down. Each gesture, every glance, felt like a quiet promise. You watched him, heart full, thinking how lucky you were to have someone who played, teased, protected, and cared so deeply.

When he finished, you leaned in with a sly smile. “Tomorrow, wedding night. I’ll make you lose.”

“We’ll see,” he said, eyes darkening. “You lost too easily today.”

The next day passed in a blur of celebration. You became his, officially. His wife.

And now, you were sitting in his room. Waiting.

You were dressed in a lighter version of your bridal attire, veil loose, mehendi still staining your palms. The air was quiet. Your heart was not.

Sylus walked in, finally yours in every way. His eyes softened the moment he saw you. That raw desire, that deep affection, all tangled up in his gaze.

He sat beside you on the bed. You looked at him and smiled. “Remember I told you about a game on our wedding night?”

He raised a brow. “I remember. So you’re ready to lose again, wifey?”

You offered your hands to him. “Find the first letter of your name. It’s hidden in my mehendi. If you fail… you don’t get to kiss me tonight.”

Sylus growled softly. “Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll make you lose. Just watch.”

He took your left hand and began searching. His eyes traced every swirl and petal, his brows furrowing more with every second. You stayed silent, barely holding back your laughter. Minutes passed. He searched, and he failed.

You giggled softly. “Sylus… you lost.”

He looked at you in disbelief.

“Oh, my dear husband. You were so frustrated about not kissing me, you only checked one hand. The wrong one.”

You held up your right hand with a proud little smirk. “It’s hidden here.”

He snatched your wrist, eyes narrowing as he scanned your palm. And then he found it. The small, elegant S nestled into the pattern.

Before you could say another word, he cupped your face and kissed you.

It was deep and slow and full of every emotion he had been holding in. His longing, his need, his desperation to finally call you his. You kissed him back, your hands trembling slightly under the weight of everything you felt.

When he pulled away, he kept his forehead against yours and whispered, “Do you have any idea how hard it was not seeing your face for even one day? Kitten, don’t ever make me suffer like that again. Your face is all I want to see when I wake up and before I sleep.”

You kissed his forehead, fingers brushing his cheek. “Okay, I won’t make you suffer. But if I didn’t tease you like that, you wouldn’t have kissed me like there’s no tomorrow.”

He smiled and tucked your hair behind your ear. “Is that what you really wanted? Jaan, you could have just asked.”

You grinned. “Then kiss me again. And prove you want me.”

He didn’t wait.

He leaned in and kissed you again, this time deeper and intense. He didn’t move, didn’t pull back. His kiss held the weight of every unspoken vow, every wish he’d carried for years. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

Just you. Just him. Just forever

#ask #givemeabite #sylus x desi reader #desi fic #sylus desi fic #desi tumblr #love and deepspace #sylus #sylus love and deepspace #lads sylus #otome game #lads #l&ds sylus #l&ds #sylus x you #fanfic #sylus fanfic

50 notes · View notes

05-simply-06-simping · 2 days ago

Text

A possesive Yandere!Gojo, but his darling knows hes doing it.

Who knows, but doesnt care. Not to say shes obsessed back, but shes not trying to fight it, either.

He doesnt want you to work? Hell yeah! Who wouldnt want to be home without a care in the world? He can, will, and does take care of your every need. You want for nothing. maybe some independence, but its a sacrifice you're willing to make. After all, you can have all the freedom and independence you want in his mansion

He doesnt want you talking to your guy friends? Sure you may have been closer to them than your few girlfriends, but you can understand his point of reason logic. Empathize with him. Get in your own head about it a litte too. You know what hes doing, but you dont say anything. Just give your friends a goodbye and well wishes, and forget their numbers, their socials. You were even willing to do the same regarding your girlfriends, but even he knew you needed some human contact outside him even if he didn't want it, he was willing to grit his teeth throigh it for you.

A Yandere!Gojo who allows you total and complete freedom over what you do in the house, and in the gardens of course. Something you accept to an extent. Knowing you just had to wait and go with him if you ever wanted to go anywhere else. Reminding you of those summers as a kid, stuck at home waiting for your parents. How that same waiting at home still happened even after you go your license. How it came full circle with him, and gave you some twisted sense of comfort.

You knew what he was doing, but you didn't have the care to complain. He was keeping you safe, keeping you happy. He didnt stop you from enjoying your at home hobbies. Ones that you had years of practice with from childhood, and even new ones you had an endless budget and time to indulge in.

Hobbies that would keep you busy most of the day, and almost like magic, the moment you grew a bit tired of them, your favorite person in all the world was back home. To love and dote on you, and who you could unbashfuly love and dote on too.

Never afraid of scaring him off, or being too much. Confident and happy to be you full, weird, self. Because you knew, he would never let you go.

You weren't obsessive over him anymore than a girlfriend in a heathy relationship well, maybe a bit more jealous, and a bit more clingy, but thay was a given. You knew he was obsessed, but you were glad for it. No more fear of ever being alone or unwanted. Those life long insecurities and fears, and dark episodes reduced to nothing. Or, as near to nothing as possible. Anytime they reared their ugly heads, started whispering again, he was quick to notice.

Quick to chase them away with endless attention and affection. Cheering you up in any and every way he could think, until the dark cloud passed, and you felt better. Who didnt let up on his expressions of affection, until you lightly told him it was a bit much.

A Yandere!Gojo who, even if reluctant, was proud of you telling him, and eased off a bit. No longer glued to you the moment he was home, but he did at least stick around in the same room as you. Even if you didnt know it. But you did know it.

Even with as sneaky as he was, you could sense his very being. Hear him, catch a flicker of movement or feel the suble shift of air.

You had grown up in the harsh, dangerous world, and was raised to be aware and always cautious. Always ready to defend yourself. Your senses honed to a sharp point, able to wake you from even your deepest sleep if someone was so much as outside your room. Senses that gladly relished in easing their duty, since you never had to worry about being safe again, when you had him.

You knew what he was doing, you knew it wasn't normal or healthy for anyone to be this obsessed, but you didnt care. You loved him and found that comfort and love in his possesive actions too. He just loved you so much, after all. And touch and love starved as you were before, you ate every bit up.

You were glad he was so obsessed. Glad he would never, ever let you go. Knowing you were far too indecisive of your own, you didnt mind when he made choices for you. You made your own few too, that you were sure of, but for the most part you let him.

Want to go to school? Get another degree in anything you wanted?

"Sure thing, sweets. Online classes, and you have my card already."

Hell, if you for some reason wanted a job, some motivatior or reason to work, sure. As long as you could do it from home. Maybe once ore twice he had let you tag along to be his personal secretary when yoh wanted real work, but that was soon put to an end when you got a few too many stares.

Even then, if you were just a touch disappointed, you didnt complain much. You had felt the eyes that lingered. Ones that made you feel acutely aware. Ones that, even with Satoru, made your instincts and life long habits spark to life. Even if it was just a little over reaction. Could they blame you for being a little paranoid?

Always be aware of your surroundings, never be alone from Satoru, never trust anyone. Always know the exits, always know who and how many people were there, never trust you were safe.

Something drilled into you from childhood, and wordlessly reminding you of itself in moments like this. Unfortunately having been put into practice a few times before you met Satoru, and even a few moments early in your relationship. Going out for coffee or a quick store run before he told asked you to stay home waiting for him. Something Satoru made sure you never had to worry about again with him.

You knew what he was doing, but you didn't complain. Becase maybe in your own, a bit twisted mind, you felt you found your perfect match.

Really long drable hope you liked. Just a thought that sprouted from my real life experiences(the danger anyway) and yandere!gojo readings. Like, I wouldn't be oblivious maybe just a bit, but I dont think I would care lol. Can be read as older Satoru, can be read as husband/fiancé/boyfriend Satoru. If anyone writes related drables or a fic from this, please tag me, I would love to read it.

Im not encouraging this behavior or acceptance of it, I'm just writing a demented drabble

Plagiarism is not authorized, this is an original work of mine that I ask to be credited in. Should other writings occure.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.

29 notes · View notes

adanseydivorce · 21 hours ago

Note

hiii :)

for the prompts, how about some adansey making up after an argument (they might even kiss idk) okay thank you!

classic miscommunication! they miss their boy okay!! also some mention of the parrish parents :(

“I’m sorry.” Gansey says.

Adam doesn’t particularly know how to deal with this statement. They’ve fought, sure. The entire time they’ve been friends, they’ve had arguments. It hasn’t been like this in years. Not since they were high schoolers.

The entire exchange had been stupid, but there was no Ronan around to do something more stupid for them to forget about it and move on. He’s in Tennessee. A fact Adam is very much not happy about. His bed is too empty and he hasn’t been kissed in approximately eleven days (eleven days, sixteen hours, and forty seven minutes) not that he’s counting or anything.

He has a tendency to act out, when Ronan’s gone. Blue says it’s because he’s not having consistent orgasms. He’d say that was a lie but considering his behaviour towards all of them, especially Gansey, he can’t be too sure.

The fight had been about a lie.

Adam’s parents were still alive, he did not care about them and they did not care about him.

This fight had spawned from Gansey seeing Robert in line at the store. Robert had cornered Gansey in the parking lot to ask, “Is my son still with that devil boy?”

Gansey was not one to show his true emotion towards someone. He could aim a shining smile at you like you were the best damn thing in the world but could think you were the scum of the Earth.

Adam would have wanted Gansey to lie, say him and Ronan broke up ages ago. The thought wasn’t pleasant but he didn’t have the time nor energy to reopen the parent wound. Gansey did not lie.

Instead, he had stood straight up and faced Robert Parrish with all the malice in his heart and said, “Yes. They are still together. Married in fact. I was Adam’s best man.”

Gansey had decided not to tell Adam about the entire exchange until Adam’s mother had shown up at Fox Way posing as a customer. It had been messy. It was ugly. Calla chased her out as soon as she touched her to read her palm.

The fight that came from Adam finding out was the worst one yet. Gansey had accused Adam of not loving Ronan, if he was willing to lie about that. Adam’s blood had boiled, he had hurled off insults he didn’t mean because he was threatened. Had wanting to protect Ronan, to make sure Gansey wasn’t hurt by his father an act of selfishness?

“I know.”

“It was never my intention to imply that you weren’t in love with Ronan. I know you are. I see it. I’ve seen it since we were eighteen.”

“You fucking better. The things I’ve put myself through for that man, dear God.”

Gansey laughed. A full belly laugh, it was infectious.

“It’s funny to think that he has no idea this happened. He has no reception down in the middle of the bush where he is. What’s with dreamers and magical forests?”

“God could only tell you. We’ll ask Ronan when he gets back. You miss him?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe. I think that’s why I’ve been so fucking mental lately. Missing Ronan Syndrome. You?”

“I miss him, too. You think that syndrome is contagious?”

“Yeah,” Adam nudged Gansey with his shoulder, “the first symptom is being an unbearable asshole. I’m sorry for the way I was acting. I didn’t know how to deal with the whole thing and missing him so I took it out on you.”

“I should have kept my head down and not acknowledged him. I’m sorry, too. For the whole thing.”

Adam stretched his arms to wrap Gansey up in a hug. He was solid and warm, his very best friend. Adam doesn’t know who he would be without him. Gansey reciprocates the hug, squeezing Adam in a way that would be suffocating from anyone else.

“I love you, Adam. I know you love me too. I do, but sometimes I wish we could just get over ourselves and learn how to properly show it.”

Adam knocked their foreheads together in a comforting gesture. An agreement, “Ha. We’ve been at this for ten years, this is just what works.”

#do i change the user to adanseyremarried #thank you very much for the prompt!!!#the raven cycle #adam parrish #richard gansey iii #gansey #trc #writing prompt

21 notes · View notes

casscainmainly · 1 day ago

Text

Thoughts on Asian David Cain and New 52/Rebirth Cass

Nothing prompted this I just wanted to spew out my thoughts on the New 52 decision to make David Cain Chinese instead of White. And what else changed - suddenly David was not the main actor in Cass' life, but was a subordinate to Mother (a White woman). On the one hand I think they did this to make him not purely evil (I do see the effort, since they make David sacrifice himself for Cass at the end of B&R Eternal), but it's still worth noting that making him Asian correlated to kneecapping his agency.

Obviously I prefer David as a White man because I read Cass' story as about model minoritisation and the ways White people project onto/manipulate Asian people, but to be fair New 52 David and Cass is still fundamentally a story about a White person abusing and manipulating their Asian children. It's just that the Asian child now includes David, since he was manipulated by Mother alongside Cass. New 52 David is a Cass parallel, which wasn't as much of a thing in pre-52.

And this is actually (in a vacuum) interesting!! An AU with an Asian David who also suffered from racism could be really neat (and how it would complicate Cass' feelings even MORE than they are in canon). But obviously Asian David didn't work for several reasons. One, HE DIED. White!David got to live forever but the moment he becomes non-White he's wiped out :(. My hottest Cass take is potentially that I enjoy Cass taking David's name after his death 😭 Orphan is a silly name but this is something I think Cass WOULD do given David had just sacrificed himself for her. I read Orphan as a punitive identity Cass wore out of shame/guilt (the opposite of Batgirl), and ideally she would've let go of Orphan as she overcomes her guilt over the murder of Harper's mother and David's death. But Tynion never brings up David again so this is all nonexistent 😭😭

(Speaking of Harper Row - I don't hate the set-up of Cass having murdered someone she later meets the child of, but it puts an emphasis on Harper rather than Cass herself. Now her redemption is somewhat contingent on a White girl's forgiveness, another lessening of Cass' agency in her own healing).

Two, Asian!David contributes to the weird set-up where Bruce no longer parallels David, he instead is the opposite of him. The great thing about original Bruce-David were that they're both White men who use Cass, and Puckett (and Horrocks) never let you forget that Bruce is flawed in strikingly similar ways to David. But New 52 unfortunately veers into White saviour territory - with Bruce no longer paralleling David, he's unequivocally the 'White knight' to David's evil Asianness. Though as I stated above they try to offset this by having Mother be the big bad, N52 still definitively positions Bruce as Cass' saviour in a way the og run did not.

AND it gets worse with evil Shiva. New 52 is a bizarro world where David is written more sympathetically than Shiva, like David gets to sacrifice himself dramatically for Cass and say "you deserved better than me" while Shiva gets beaten up by Cass and then shot by Ra's!!! I find the Cass-Shiva fight in #957 a little gratuitous tbh particularly in the violence against Shiva. Again there's an attempt - like with David - to make Shiva not fully evil by giving her motivations against Ra's, but it's evil Asians all the way down this time. And Shiva is portrayed to be the Bad Murderess to Batman's Good Upstanding Morals. The contrast between this and og Shiva is startling - BG 2000 Shiva helps Cass overcome her death wish, while New 52 Shiva is an obstacle Cass must punch in the face before she can accept herself.

Kind of strayed from the point but anyway Shiva dies too, and although she obviously gets resurrected it's just strange. New 52/Rebirth Cass has both parents (both ASIAN parents) die in front of her at the end of their arcs. It prevents either David or Shiva from reappearing in her narrative (at least, for Shiva, until later), which leaves the rest of 'Tec having Cass interacting with White people only basically (she doesn't even talk that much to Luke). It's not like BG 2000 was perfect - Cass rarely interacts with Asians (rip Tai'Darshan) and is also very much enclosed in Whiteness. But there is some great stuff in BG 2000 about being a model minority, being misunderstood as a woman of colour by White parental figures, finding solidarity and freedom with other POC etc etc. All that is missing from the New 52, in favour of a racist portrayal of David and a racist + misogynistic combo for Shiva.

So I'm really glad David is White again (never thought I'd say those words 😭) and that Shiva isn't like. as bad as she once was (though she could still be way better). Tbh their relationships to Cass were already ruined pre-52 - Shiva by the end of Batgirl (2000) and David by Batgirl (2008), so it's not like N52 was the main culprit here. But N52 really did erase a lot of the nuances in Cass' original story and somehow ended up way less progressive (at least in a racial lens) than her original inception.

But ANYWAY! Asian David does not work at all in canon, but an Asian David AU has tons of possibilities. Really exploring how he was victimised at the hands of Mother, and how him being a parallel to Cass would fundamentally change their relationship (but also how him being Asian does not erase the misogyny he directs towards Cass) could be sooo good. I think there are elements to the N52 origin that could work if the racial ramifications of their choices were actually delved into, but oh well. Definitely not in canon because Cass being biracial is imo important to her character and informed the way she was written in her solo run. ALL THAT TO SAY if anyone is curious why N52 origin is bad beyond the name 'Orphan' and it being different from the original, to me the way they handled Cass' Asian heritage + David and Shiva was the worst part.

#i'm not gonna main tag this because it's not really that important #me talking about events from over a decade ago that are more or less reversed 😭#thoughtsoup #<- thinking about this as a new tag for these long rambly posts that aren't really analysis #ALSO disclaimer i did not reread anything for this post so i maybe misremembered stuff #anyway. apparently good david characterisation is very important to me #i haven't seen anyone say cass is fully asian in a while but there have been a few people before #this post is basically why i side eye that stuff #i keep wondering whether they thought making david asian made cass like. more asian? more diverse??#i just don't understand the thought process tbh

19 notes · View notes

gcddcsscs · 2 days ago

Text

kate smiled at duncan and looked at jorah in the eyes. she loved seeing his eyes full of love, fascination and admiration towards their son. he was the perfect creation of them both, perfect result of their love together. a perfect little baby who didn't know what the world looked like outside. how his father fought bravely, never ceasing to think about him and his mother. kate knew it and she couldn't be any prouder of jorah than now.

as jorah talked to their son, the woman smiled warmly. the little one held her breast protectively while his mouth sucked fiercely, pinched her even. as always, kate pressed her breast for him to get a better flow. she had learned the hard way that their son was quite impatient and could fight her breast if he didn't get enough milk in his stomach. "easy..." she whispered.

looking back at jorah, kate smiled and whispered to him: "at least you are gentle with these.." she laughed and kissed his lips tenderly before then looking at him in the eyes. "you both can share. and you both will have beautiful moments together. i promise you."

duncan finished his meal and kate gently handed him to jorah. "take him.. rub his back, he will burp." she smiled and slowly pulled back her gown to cover her tender breasts. duncan burped in jorah's arms and when kate laughed, the baby looked at both of his parents and then back at his dad before chuckling. his smile revealed two lower teeth that were starting to grow.

"i will give you some time together." she whispered before slowly walking out of the room and fetching a bucket of water. she came back to set it on the hearth to make sure some warm water would be ready in a few hours, when they would need to bathe their baby. kate was quite protective over duncan. if one of them had to be cold, it would be her and not her son. he would get everything.

her smile grew as she saw the baby slowly falling asleep. as she crawled back in the bed, kate whispered to jorah: "you can bring him back to his crib. he will sleep for the next five hours at least." she chuckled before sliding under the blankets, resting and watching her two men.

Jorah watched them in the soft candlelight—Kate curled around Duncan, her hair tousled from sleep, eyes warm and a little tired, but still shining when they met his. He felt it deep in his chest, the certainty: she had missed him just as he had missed her. It was there in the way her fingers lingered on his skin, the way her voice softened when she spoke, as if still trying to believe he was truly home.

He knew she loved him. Even in the silence between them, it clung to every look, every touch. But the guilt was still there, quiet and steady—six months away, missing the first laugh, the first time Duncan grasped her finger with that tiny fist. He hadn’t been there to hold her on the hardest nights, to reassure her when the baby cried, or when the wind howled through the walls and she lay alone in their bed.

But he'd gone for them. That was the truth that kept him steady through long nights in the field, sword at his side, smoke in the air. He’d gone to help make this land safer, to hold back what might otherwise tear through their village, their home. He couldn't take back the time lost, but he could build something from it now—something strong, lasting. He could be the man both of them needed, not just in name, but in every day to come.

As Duncan’s blue eyes settled on him again, Jorah leaned in with a soft smile. “You’ve had her all to yourself for a while, haven’t you?” he murmured, brushing a hand along Kate’s arm. “Don’t worry, lad—I’m not here to take her from you, but you will learn to share. I am your father after all."

#isles of man #jorah & kate

31 notes · View notes

adeptune01 · 6 days ago

Text

I have to resurrect my tumblr from the dead for my thoughts on the new Superman movie:

THIS WAS AN AMAZING MOVIE. THAT WAS SUPERMAN.

He’s corny, he’s midwestern, he’s a nerd and everyone kind of bullies him for it. He says things like “what the hay dude” or “I’m punk rock- I’m totally punk” completely seriously. He takes several extra precious seconds to save a squirrel. He’s ready to fly headfirst into danger to save his dog because the dog’s probably “scared and all alone” even though it’s not a particularly good dog all the time. He loves his parents. He has bad band posters hanging in his childhood bedroom. He takes the time to calm a lady on a rooftop in the middle of a fight. He cares.

As for the actual plot- it’s really difficult to make a Superman movie feel high stakes, especially while trying to keep it real. In the comics Superman gets into situations it would be nearly impossible to show on screen, like fighting in front of a black hole, but somehow this movie makes it work. James Gunn tapped into his experience making Guardians of the Galaxy and it shows in the best way possible. You find yourself wondering how in the world Superman is going to win- and that’s what makes this such an amazing superhero movie.

Superman’s true weakness isn’t kryptonite, it’s thinking and planning ahead. All the villains that beat him in the comics match his brawn, but have the brains to get an edge and have better fight strategy. All superman knows is that “people were going to die” and since he’s such an unbelievably GOOD guy, that’s all that matters to him. We saw it when the “justice gang” was helping him fight the alien monster and we saw it in Louis’s interview. When you have a superhero with barely any weaknesses, you need something more than the threat of losing a fight to make him interesting.

Now for Lex- no notes. He was brilliantly written. It can be difficult to take his character seriously, but that speech at the end where he was screaming to be recognized because, to him, humanity’s ability to overcome odds and achieve through innovation is critical and Superman’s existence risks overshadowing that? That was deadly serious.

Last serious note- I’m glad they kept it political. The United States government being scared of an alien and the threat of invasion despite the fact that Superman has done nothing but help them? A billionaire approaching the government to encourage foreign intervention because it will allow him to profit? A foreign power that the U.S. is officially allied to even though everyone knows they’ve committed horrible war crimes but nobody actually KNOWS that and the smaller neighbor they’re threatening to wipe out in order to “free” them from an oppressive regime? Superman declaring that he’s just like everyone else, that he’s human too and that’s his greatest strength? The idea of radical love? Yeah.

FINAL NOTE: I think that a scene from this movie sums up what I got from it very well. It’s when Louis is talking about how Clark isn’t punk rock. She says that he trusts everyone he’s ever met and he thinks that everyone is beautiful. And he responds: “maybe that’s punk rock.” He’s right. It is. And that’s Superman.

Anyways…good movie. Go watch it.

#superman 2025 #superman #dcu comics #dc comics #dc cinematic universe #james gunn #superman movie #clark kent

6K notes · View notes

arolesbianism · 8 months ago

Text

Rotating Ginger and April in my head. Siblingsssssss

#rat rambles #oc posting #theyre just so!!!!#from childhood both of them had the experience of people being uncomfortable and agressive around them all the time and that lead to both #of them closing themselves off from the world a lot but ginger never fully closed herself off from april and april never rly realized that #and its just. fun to me thinking abt their different perspectives of their relationship with eachother.#april never like. properly hated ginger even if she thought she did at times. she was jealous of ginger but most of her anger was towards #basically everyone else in her life that had been actively treating her like shit for her whole life #she was just a very angry person in general when she was younger so she was just very used to hating people #so she always had a very hard time interacting with ginger because she was so used to constant hostility from both directions in all #interactions she had so even when she tried to be bitchy towards ginger her fire would die quick due to ginger not getting mad back #ginger never really saw april's attitude as agression due to it being very different from their parents agression #this doesnt mean april didnt have any negative influence on ginger tho just that ginger was never like. scared of her at all.#which is smth that astonishes modern day april to no end almost as much as learning that apparently other people found ginger scary #they both leaned into freaking people out as they got older but april mostly grew out of that after moving out since she was tired of #fighting ppl all the time and was hoping that the new city would mean that she could slip under the radar this time #ginger on the other hand ended up committing to her bit much harder since she found it funny when people would rumor abt her being #a ghost or smth and also it felt better than hearing the things theyd have to say otherwise #the more she could make sure ppl only new this crafted persona the less theyd talk about her and the more theyd tell ghost stories

0 notes

jaxon-exe · 3 months ago

Text

That’s your dad?!?

First up, this is set centuries into the future. Danny is the ghost king and ancient of space and has taken Ellie (I like that name for her better) in as his daughter.

As is normal for all families, Danny and Ellie don’t always agree on everything. One particular point of contention between the two is Danny being overprotective. She understands that it’s in his nature as a protector spirt but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to have him hovering over her all the time. Just because she’s eternally 12 doesn’t mean she’s defenceless.

After one particularly bad fight between the two she flies off into a random dimension to get some space. The dimension she ends up in being the dc one. After awhile a just exploring and following the heroes of this world she has an idea. What better way to show to her dad that she can handle herself than by becoming a hero?

She introduces herself to the heroes of this world and (after confirming with JLD that she is in fact a ghost and she does in fact have good interiors) ends up joining one of the younger teams (I’m parcel to YJ but teen titans works to)

Now here’s the thing about Ellie. Just like her dad she sucks at explaining things. It just isn’t her strong suit. So when one of them asks about her death, she (after explaining they shouldn’t ask that) explains that she’s a neverborn. She never died, she’s just always been a ghost. Later on when someone asks her how neverborns come to exist she gives the ‘ectoplasm forming about an idea or concept’ explaining and completely forget to mention that’s not the only way.

Needless to say, the team think she doesn’t have parents. Especially adding on the fact she’s still a little pissed at Danny so doesn’t talk about him.

This lead to them being very confused when, in the middle of a huge alien invasion that they were very much about to lose, Ellie yells out “DAD!!!”

That confusion turns into terror when the night sky itself opens its eyes.

#dp x dc #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc crossover

5K notes · View notes

readwritealldayallnight · 10 days ago

Text

Part seven of ‘Bird Watching’ aka hot construction worker Simon x single mom reader

The fight happens on a day like any other, a random Tuesday in early March

Stepping outside as you clutch your baby close to your chest, you’d almost expected to find the earth to have stopped spinning, to see birds dropping dead to the ground midflight, for dogs to bark incessantly at seemingly nothing at all, hell maybe even for the sun to have disappeared from the sky entirely

But no, everything was still the same, the world went on, the earth kept spinning, and life continued, even in spite of that heavy feeling in your chest telling you that nothing would ever be the same again, not when your world had just seemingly slipped out from under you

What else were you to think after learning what you’d just been told?

You’d sat in that office for far too long, the bright murals on the walls more obnoxious than ever, smiling paintings of woodland creatures mocking you with every second that ticked by, your mind unable to wrap itself around the words being thrown at you, seeing as they were so contrary to everything you knew, so opposite to the man you’d come love

“I’m sorry but- I think you’re wrong. There’s- there’s got to be more to this that I’m not understanding. It doesn’t- this doesn’t make any sense.” You’d mumbled, staring into space as though caught in a daze, certain you’d wake up from this dream sooner than later and laugh about it in the morning, though with every pitiful look the assistant director sent your way, you were worried this was one nightmare you wouldn’t be able to pinch yourself out of

“Hon, I really wish I was wrong too.” She said, rubbing what you’re sure she intended to be a soothing hand across your back, though everything felt too hot right now, too claustrophobic, and you were resisting the urge to flinch from her touch.

“You must be.” You practically whispered to yourself. It had been at least twenty minutes of this now, going back and forth in disbelief despite the paper trail before you

“What about that small chance that I’m not, though? What if this is what’s happening?” She added, pulling her hand back and angling herself to better face you, her expression still pinched into that look of pity and concern you wanted to smack off of her, despite knowing she was speaking with the best of intentions

“What? That he’s trying to trap me?! Has been from the beginning? There’s no way, nuh-uh.” You shook your head adamantly, refusing to believe that there was any possibility of something so ludicrous being true, of being your reality, your life

“Please just- just hear me out?” She all but pleaded, glancing towards the closed door as you heard the sound of laughter echoing down the hall, parents still filtering in and out, picking up their children like any other day, unaware of the drama unfolding in the office. “We always thought it was kind of strange at first that he wasn’t listed on her birth certificate when you submitted it with all your other paper work but- we really didn’t give it much more thought. Really didn’t think twice when he added himself to the list of contacts after you hadn’t put him down, because he told us you’d just forgotten to. I mean from the moment he walked in here he’s always called himself your husband, and you his wife, always claimed to be Rosie’s dad.”

At this point your eyes are squeezed shut, unable to differentiate between what you’re hearing and what you know to be true in your heart. Or at least, what your heart desperately wants to believe is true- your confidence slipping with every word she speaks

“And when he insisted a few months ago that 75% of Rosie’s daycare fees be charged directly to his account, we-”

“What?” You all but hiss at her, eyes snapping open in shock

“So you didn’t know about that either.” She mumbles, cheeks reddening in apparent embarrassment, whether for your or herself you’re unsure, though you’re certain you’re starting to see red the longer you sit here. “I mean, is it even all that surprising at this point? You just got done telling me he’s been trying to have you financially depend on him from the get go.”

“I said he’d offered to help me with the bills when we first started dating. Not that he tried to entrap me!” You bite back, unable to feel sorry yet that you’re being so short with her when this isn’t her fault, right now you need someone to be upset with, someone to take your feelings out on, and unfortunately she happens to be the unlucky messenger caught in the crossfire.

“I’m sure that’s how he made it sound, but hon, I’m just seeing red flag after red flag here. It starts with small ‘favours’ like that, then he’s telling you that you don’t have to work anymore, that you can rely on him. And asking you to move in so soon-”

“It- it isn’t ‘so soon’. We’re already practically living together, we- we’re in love. This- this isn’t- I don’t-” you cut off yourself off, unsure what you’d even say at this point. You can feel a headache coming on, your mind running a mile a minute, you wouldn’t be surprised to find steam coming off of you you’re feeling so heated. You’re beyond confused now, your heart knows that Simon’s never led you astray before, never give you a single reason to doubt him or think of him as dishonest. But you can’t ignore what you’re hearing either, as contrary as it might be to what you’ve known to be true, the facts are set out before you

“I know you love him.” She says softer this time, eyes trying to convey a comfort you don’t want right now. “But I can’t lie, I’m worried now. Like you said, this could all be some very strange misunderstanding. But from where I’m sitting babe, it seems like he’s been lying to you for months now, if not from the start. And the only reasons I can think of him doing that, aren’t very good ones.”

“I just don’t-” Your words are cut off when a knock rasps against the office door, both of you glancing over in time to see the door open.

“Hey Emma, Rosie’s mum hasn’t picked her up yet and I have to clean the room- oh! There you are!” One of Rosie’s educators says, stepping into the room with none other than your baby sat against her hip

You can feel the tension momentarily leave your body as Rosie spots you, her neutral expression turning into one of pure joy as she realizes her mama’s here, tiny arms reaching out towards you as she starts to flail in her teacher’s arms, sweet little coos erupting from her as she all but tries to leap towards you

“We were just chatting. Sorry to have kept you waiting with her. Hope she wasn’t too much trouble.” You say, standing from your chair and taking Rosie into your arms, feeling her lay her little head against you as she makes herself comfortable in your hold, a comfort you desperately need yourself right now

“Her? Trouble? Never. She had a great day today.” The teacher smiles politely, excusing herself to likely go finish her closing duties, certainly eager to get out of here now that you’ve got Rosie off her hands

“Maybe we could-”

“I’m gonna get this one home.” You cut Emma off before she can start, readjusting your hold on Rosie as you take a steadying breath. You want nothing more than to get out of here, to pretend that this never happened, though you aren’t sure you’re ready yet for what’s certainly about to happen at home. “Thanks for the chat. I’ll think about what you said and- I’ve got some talking to do with Simon now, I suppose.”

Perhaps by some small miracle, Simon ends up having to work late that night, shooting you a text to let you know that he’s sorry he won’t be home for supper and to please give Rosie a goodnight kiss from him if he isn’t back by her bedtime

You don’t reply to his message

You feel numb, as though this were something that was happening to someone else, a story you might overhear people whispering about while in line at the grocery store, or even an all too cheesy reality TV show storyline, certainly not something that’s happening in your home, to your family

You feel akin to a ghost, a spectre simply going through the motions as you float through the flat, following Rosie’s bedtime routine with nothing more than muscle memory to guide you from step A to B

She’s nodding off in your arms before you know it, blissfully unaware as to the turmoil happening in her mum’s mind, the fight that’s likely to ensue when her dad comes home, none the wiser as you lay her down in her crib for the night, a soft kiss planted on her forehead for Simon’s sake because as conflicted as you are, his love for her is undeniable

If anything, that’s the very thing that has you feeling so confused right now, is because you know Simon loves you, both you and Rosie, and so everything that’s just been revealed to you is so utterly contradicatory you can’t even begin to try and wrap your brain around it

He’s never been anything short of wonderful to you, willing to bend over backwards to make you smile from the very moment you met

The Simon you know wouldn’t lie to you, wouldn’t hide things from you, wouldn’t try to entrap you in any way like Emma or anyone else might try to insinuate

And yet…

Shutting her door quietly, you make your way down the hall, glancing at the piles of boxes that have only recently made a home for themselves along the walls of your flat

Moving boxes, the majority of them being from Simon’s own place across town that he hasn’t been to in months, as you prepare to move into the new house in the upcoming weeks

A house that you love, a house that you dreamt about, a house you can picture becoming a home, and yet still, a house he bought without asking you first, apparently a common trend

Plopping yourself down on the couch, rubbing furiously at your tired eyes as you try in vain to make sense of this conflicting situation

Because the Simon you know, isn’t capable of lying to you

The Simon you know has never once failed to fulfill a promise to you, never ceases to exceed your wildest dreams and expectations time and time again, always coming through for you in every way you’ve ever wanted and never knew you needed

The Simon you know is one who works harder than anyone you’ve ever met before, but didn’t hesitate for a split second to drop everything when Rosie had her first runny nose, fussing over her incessantly until you were both sure it was nothing more than a case of the sniffles

The Simon you know never lets you go through a late night feeding alone, getting up out of bed with you every single time her cries reach your ears, or sometimes insisting you stay asleep while he either goes to retrieve her for you or feeds her a premade bottle himself

The Simon you know doesn’t complain when the kitchen sink springs a leak after he’s had a long day at work, but rather angles Rosie’s high chair so she can see him working as he talks her through every step of the repair, teasing her about starting to pull her weight around he house as she giggles

The Simon you know pretends to grumble when you insist on applying sunscreen to his face on particularly sunny days, but secretly loves every second you spend so close him, fingers tracing his skin and taking care of him as delicately as you would with Rosie

The Simon you know shamelessly carries the diaper bag over his shoulder wherever you go, proudly wears Rosie on his chest in the baby sling any chance he gets, and most of all, never fails to hold your heart in his hand no matter how full they may already be

Tonight however? You can’t help the way your heart seemingly drops when you hear the telltale sound of keys at the front door

Simon is home

“Birdie?” His deep, Manchester accent calls out from around the corner. You’re hardly in control of your body as you rise to your feet and all but float towards him, torn between needing his comfort during such a confusing time, but equally fighting off the hurt and skepticism you’re beginning to feel

“Hi Si.” You meekly respond, coming into his view just as he’s toeing off his mud-caked boots, his eyes lighting up once he sees you

“Hi love.” He replies, stepping closer until you’re within his reach, naturally falling against his chest as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head, your eyes closing as you breathe in his scent. “Rosie asleep yet?”

“Put her down just a couple minutes ago.” You answer, arms snaking around his torso to embrace him tightly, unable to deny the hot tears beginning to prickle at the corner of your eyes.

“M’sorry I missed bedtime.”

“S’alright. Gave her your good night kiss for you. And I saved you supper. Just some chicken and salad but-”

“‘Jus’ chicken and salad’ is already more than I deserve for coming home late to my girls. Thank you, birdie.”

You know your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes when he pulls back to look at you, pulling yourself out of his hold to head towards the kitchen, his footsteps right behind yours

“How was your day? Not workin’ you too hard are they?” He asks, opening the fridge and pulling out the plate you’d saved for him

“No, work was fine.” You answer, awkwardly rubbing your arms as you lean against the wall, poking the edge of one of his moving boxes labeled simply as ‘stuff’ with your socked toes. “Actually, my day got kind of weird towards the end, if I’m being honest.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Simon asks you, peering at you over his shoulder as he gets ready to reheat his food

“Well I uh- I went to pick up Rosie from nursery and wound up talking to Emma. You know, the assistant director?”

If you didn’t know Simon so well, didn’t know his mind and his body language like the back of your hand by now, you might have missed the oh so subtle way he tensed up for no more than a split second, his large frame perfectly still as he held his breath for no longer than a blink of the eye, but you saw it

“‘Course. How is she?” He asks as casually as he can, though he pointedly isn’t meeting your gaze anymore

“She’s fine. Busy as usual. But anyways, I got chatting with her in the first place because I was just letting her know about the move soon. Wanted to update our address.” You add, waving a hand towards the many boxes dotted around the place

“Ah, right. Smart o’ you to get a head start on tha’.” Simon chides in, still not looking at you as he goes about grabbing himself silverware and a drink, keeping his head down the whole time

“I thought so too.” You say, pushing yourself off the wall to step closer to him, feeling your heart begin to pick up pace as dare to say what you’re too afraid to confirm. “Also figured I would go ahead and update Rosie’s contact information, while I was at it. Was well overdue adding you.”

At this point Simon has stopped moving entirely, his back turned to you as he faces the kitchen sink, not a word to be said as you continue

“But then she told me that you were already on there.”

Nearly a full five seconds pass by in complete and utter silence, before Simon slowly spins himself around to face you

“Oh.” Is all he can apparently manage to say at first, his face pulled into an expression you aren’t overly familiar with, eyes glancing everywhere but at your face. “Did you somehow add me and forget?”

“That’s what I thought at first too.” You elaborate, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, despite knowing that there isn’t a logical explanation for the second half of what you’re about to say. “But it was strange because she told me that she remembers having a conversation with you, after our first visit. Said that you were the one to add yourself.”

Again, Simon seems to forfeit to what he knows best in moments of high stress, a painful silence that echoes louder than any shouts ever could

“Things got really strange though, the more she told me. Like how you’ve been paying the daycare bills behind my back.”

“Love, I-”

“What was she talking about, Simon? Please tell me she was wrong.” You interrupt him, feeling your cheeks begins to burn with untamed emotions you haven’t dared to let out yet, the stinging at your lash line growing stronger as hot tears threaten to topple over

“No. She wasn’t wrong, but-”

“What?” You interrupt him, trying your best to keep your volume low for Rosie’s sake, though you can tell your emotions are already starting to get the better of you

“Look birdie, I- I’m not ready to talk about this yet. Let’s leave it alone for tonight, yeah?” Simon says as coolly as he can manage, though you notice the way his jaw ticks, how he runs his hand through his short hair as he only does when frustrated

“What the hell does that mean? You’re not ready to talk about what? Simon what is going on here?” You ask him, feeling yourself becoming light headed as the conversation takes the turn you were fearing it would, his words failing to reassure the uncertainty brewing within you

“Love it’s not- there isn’t anythin’ going on. I’m only jus’ trying to take care of you. So please, let’s just leave it.”

“No, Si. I can’t just ‘leave it’. Not when I’m finding out that you’ve been lying to me for who knows how long!” You insist, reaching behind you until you feel a stack of the moving boxes hit your calf, sitting down on the large box as you look up at Simon across the room. “What am I supposed to-”

“I said enough! Just drop it, please birdie. It’s nothin’.” He snaps at you, going to slam a hand down on the kitchen counter but catching himself at the last second, glancing down the hall towards Rosie’s closed door as he shakes his head to himself

“No! I’m not just going to drop this, Simon. How am I meant to know that you haven’t hidden anything else from me?”

“Oh, because you don’t hide anythin’?” He asks, stepping closer to you while trying to keep his voice down, lest you both wake the baby up

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Christs sake, I’m talkin’ ’bout Rosie’s father. What else would we be talkin’ ‘bout?” He admits, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat, coming to sit on the boxes across from you

“Are you kidding me?” You ask, narrowing your eyes at him. “We’ve gone over this before, it was a fucking one night stand Simon! Rosie doesn’t have a father, because I don’t know who her fucking father is! Is that what you want to hear? That I dont know the stranger who knocked me up after sleeping with him one goddamn time?”

“I don’t know what happened because we never talk bout it!” He replies, one foot incessantly tapping agains the tiled floor as he struggles to keep his cool. “There’s some bloke out there who could show up one day and take everythin’ I’ve worked for, so bloody fuckin’ right I’m concerned! How could you not know who he is? Might not know his name, but you could pick him out of a lineup surely? Describe him?”

“Are you seriously that insecure right now? You’re feeling threatened by a ghost? Because that’s all he was Simon, was a fucking ghost! It was a goddamn Halloween party. Every single person in that was wearing a mask, including me!” You argue back to him. “You want me to try and describe some tall guy wearing all black and a stupid skull mask? Is that it? How he didn’t even take it off while we were having sex? How he only wanted me to call him Ghost the entire goddamn night? What does it matter, Simon?“

By the end of your rant, you’re left huffing and puffing, borderline seeing red as you can’t believe of all things, this is what Simon would feel the need to bring up at a time like this

You’re expecting him to argue back, waiting on him to retaliate with whatever other ugly words you’re going to throw at each other tonight, the first proper fight you’ve ever had

And yet, he’s sat perfectly still, eyes locked on your own though it’s as if he isn’t quite seeing you

Rather, he looks like he’s seen a ghost

“Simon?”

He remembers that night almost too perfectly

Exactly half a year since his forced retirement, Simon was all too eager to get through the last of his ‘highly recommended’ therapy sessions

The older gentleman he met with once a month wasn’t all that bad, to his credit, had some decent stories to share and never pressed Simon to fill in the silence when he wasn’t in the mood to do so

But he was still a shrink at the end of the day, wasn’t he? Still wanted the former Lieutenant to talk about his feelings and his past and his thoughts and his nightmares and just about everything Simon would rather keep under heavily guarded lock and key

Even if he never insisted on making Simon spill his guts the way he might have imagined a shrink was obligated to do in their mandated fifty minute sessions, he’d still somehow managed to get the younger man to open up to the smallest degree, learned as much as he was willing to share within these bleak walls

Though he held no ill feelings towards him nor his profession, Simon couldn’t help but glance at the clock above the shrink’s head at least every other minute, looking forward to having his Saturday afternoons back to himself soon as this last appointment was done and over with

“Simon?” He remembers the old man saying, catching his wandering eye. “Did you hear me?”

“Sorry. Go on.” The muscular man had said, crossing his arms across his chest as he’d fought to give the man before him his full attention.

“I was only just saying,” he kindly went on, a soft smile appearing below his white moustache. “If if was something you might be open to exploring, I don’t think it would be the worst idea if you wanted to wear the mask out in public again. One last time.”

“Why would I do tha’?” Simon had questioned.

“Please correct me if I’m wrong, but you’ve spoken before about feeling conflicted between who you used to be six months ago, and who you’re having to become now post-retirement. A man with a name and a job and obligations. Whereas for over a decade, you were certain you’d never be anything more than this Ghost fellow you’ve mentioned. This man without a name, without a face. Am I right on this?”

“Suppose so.” He grumbled, shifting in his spot, the softness of the cushions around him a mundane luxury he was still growing used to feeling.

“You’ve also said that the honourable discharge came as a bit of a surprise, an unexpected end to this Ghost, as it were. Something, or someone, you never had the chance to truly mourn.” The shrink had gone on, gesticulating his pale, wrinkled hands with every word he spoke in Simon’s direction.

On his end, Simon could only manage to nod in response, taking in the man’s perspective

“The mask was something pivotal for you, something you held on to without fail for years, Simon. Years. It’s understandably difficult to be told you would no longer going to need this thing you had grown to, dare I say, depend on? Something that kept you separate from the rest of the world? A world you were being thrown back into without a choice?”

The older man had allowed for a beat of silence as Simon absorbed his words, only keeping his eyes on him as any indication now that he was still listening

“Now, I know you’d said that you haven’t put the mask back on since. We also evidently can’t replicate the sort of environment that Ghost used to live in. But if you wanted to put the mask back on for one night. If you wanted to put the mask back on for just a moment and perhaps allow yourself to make peace with this change in your life, to say goodbye to Ghost and give yourself the chance to fully become Simon, well, tonight might not be the worst night to try and do so.”

As if he needed his own shrink reminding him that it was Halloween that night

He remembers the odd few pumpkins lined up outside the apartments he’d passed on his walk home from the session

Remembers the posters for discounted costumes and reminders to check your children’s candy dotted along brick walls here and there

Hell he’d even had a group of giggling trick or treaters run past him at one point that evening

Staring at the handful of boxes he still couldn’t bring himself to unpack yet, Simon sat ins his flat entirely too long that night with a drink in hand, staring at the very one he knew held the thing he woulnd’t have been caught dead without less than a yer ago, now ruffed between some folded shirts

The more drinks he got in his system, the less ludicrous the doc’s idea had sounded to him

Perhaps he should don the mask one last time, if only to see what it felt like to have his second skin back on him again, to be Ghost for only just a moment more

He had been tearing the cardboard box open before he knew it, ripping through clothing until his hands met the familiar feeling of the skull beneath his fingertips

He hadn’t bothered looking in a mirror or anything dramatic of the sort as he slipped the material over his head, not feeling the need to glance at the face he once relished in knowing was the last one countless had ever seen in their lives

Unsure of how he felt but knowing he didn’t want to sit still, Simon had gone back out onto the streets, the sun having set long ago and trick or treaters certainly tucked into bed by now with lollipop coloured tongues and wrappers awry

He knew he wanted to keep drinking that night, seeing as it was the only way he could fall asleep most nights, and needn’t go very far before following the noise of the nearest pub, only just around the corner from his measly flat

Though the place had been crowded that night, packed with the young and old all dressed in differing levels to commitment to their costumes, Simon was pleased to see he could still part a crowd with ease as he’d slunk his way over to the busy bar

The music had been damn near defeaning, and the heat from all the dancing bodies was poignant, his senses kicking into overdrive as he fought the urge to turn hightail and head back to the solace of his empty four walls

The barkeep hadn’t even bat an eye at Ghost’s appearance as he’d made his way over and took his order, making haste to keep up with the demanding crowd

What had the doc said, again? That he ought to be taking this time to say goodbye to Ghost and welcome in Simon?

Pure rubbish, as far as he was concerned

He would always be Ghost in a way, wouldn’t he? Mask or not, his hands would still be stained with someone’s blood, his eyes will still be ones that witnessed death for a living, his heart would still beat to a broken drum, he would always be a ghost of a man on way or another

And so, no, he likely would not have said goodbye to Ghost that night, had he had much of a chance to continue thinking about it

But then again, fate has a way of making things fall into place right when they need to, doesn’t it?

For Simon had only just received his drink when a young woman had suddenly come crashing into his side, her hands unabashedly coming to grasp onto his bicep as she leaned her weight into him

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” She’d said, loud enough to be heard over the music, glancing not at Ghost, but rather at someone who’d come to stand just behind him

Prepared to swing around in his seat and size up the person behind him, Simon’s eyes had gotten caught halfway there, when they landed on the stranger holding onto him

Donned in a flowing white dress with long billowing sleeves, a single red rose tucked behind her ear to match the red painted across her enticing lips, Simon was surprised to find an almost perfect Christine from the Phantom of the Opera stood before him, though perhaps more so that the young woman was also wearing the Phantom’s half mask across her face

“You’re expecting me to believe that this is your boyfriend?” A gruff voice had spoken out from the din of the crowd, Simon’s gazing finally landing on a poor imitation of a superhero, the lad clearly wasted on one too many drinks as he tried stepping closer to the mystery woman

Simon’s gaze had fixed back upon the woman’s face, eyes locking for the first time that night, the music in the room suddenly no longer so intolerable, nor the heat so unbearable, not when she was looking at him like that

Simon was smart enough to catch onto what was going on here in time to step in, cutting into the man’s attempt to squeeze closer to the young lady still clinging to Simon’s arm, his tall stature alone enough to have the bloke taking a step back

“Husband. Actually.” Ghost had decided to clarify for him, slinking an arm around your shoulders and ignoring the spark he felt as he did so, blaming the drinks he’d had himself. “Best move on to the next one, mate. She’s taken.”

Luckily, the lad apparently still had enough common sense, or at least self preseration instincts, to know when it was time to back off, moving back through the crowd with his head hung low, not that either of you were still looking at him, instead turning to face one another again

“Jesus, he’s been hounding me all night, wouldn’t take no for an answer, but you say all of ten words to him and he’s over it? Ugh, men I swear.” You’d said, leaning your elbows against the bar top as you went to wave down the barkeep, before catching Simon’s eye again and sending him a playful smile

“Funny way to say thank you.” He’d said, ignoring the way the genuine widening of your smile at his words had sent a jolt through his heart

“Hey, I was getting there.” You had laughed, the sound barely making its way to his ears through the noise of the crowd, but even just the whisper of it has him unconsciously stepping closer to you. “Would a drink be enough to repay for you saving me?”

Simon had glanced back over his shoulder, the tosser nowhere to be seen amongst the flashing lights and ever moving mass of bodies strolling and dancing about

You’d been nearly blinding to him in the darkness of the bar that night, your pale dress and startlingly white mask illuminated by the moving lights, the fog of his drinks already catching up to him, you were an image to behold nonetheless

It’d been a long, long time since Simon had had a girl in his bed, let alone a bird as pretty as you, but Ghost however? If he was lucky tonight, he might be able to get you to come back home with him, and then never see you again when he took the mask off in the morning

“Only if you’ll have one with me.” He’d replied, watching as you lifted a single brow in amusement. “Got to keep up the appearance that we’re here together now, haven’t we?”

“Hmm, suppose so.” You’d agreed easily, hopping up onto the barstool next to him as it freed up, the blush on your cheeks apparent when he’d reached his muscular arm behind you to drag the stool closer. “So, what’s my knight in shining armour’s name, then?”

“Call me Ghost.”

Muahahaha

I’ve been dropping hints in the chapters for a while now, and quite a few of you have guessed it, but yes, it seems Simon might know the baby daddy better than he thinks he does

As an almost strictly fluff writer, the angst in this one was so tough to write! Luckily next chapter will be filled with lots of fluff and smut to make up for the fight

- M 🫶🏻

Tag list: @dawnnightshade666 @topaz125 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @th3on3and0nly1r1s @sirbonesly @biscgutz @cmbghost @glossy01 @slowlyshycomputer @barcelonaaababe @astrxsee @sweetpeakarolinaaa @aqua-nina @wizzdot @beautifuleaglealpaca @peachy-satan00 @drewsuncrustables @pato-spoiler-27 @lem-hhn @dravenskye @juullllssss @mxsatorisimp @merkitty49 @monssan99-blog @notkyleelol @tessakate @sahvlren @danika1994 @viennakarma @pastel-devil-06 @asoulsreverie @puppydollgstar @strawberrygato @heletsmelovehim @404creep @just-lilita @desiretolive @marigold-morelli @robinfeldt98 @sleep101 @scaleniusrm @wh0reforstars @beebeechaos @lulutheoverthinker @casterblue @amans-puer @mestrecadumaverick @loud-mouph @t3a-bag @enfppuff @kneelforloki @scorpio-echo @casketofroses @vintage-karma (Taglist is full, tumblr only lets you add 50 users)

#bird watching series #bird watching #readwritealldayallnight #call of duty #simon ghost riley #call of duty fic #simon riley x reader #call of duty fanfic #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost x you #cod simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost fanfic #call of duty ghost #cod simon riley #simon fluff

2K notes · View notes

abbotjack · 3 months ago

Text

A Year of You

LIFE WE GREW SERIES MASTERLIST <3

summary : Jack experiences the life he never thought he could have—one small moment, one milestone, one quiet act of love at a time. Through first steps, long winter nights, and the ache of watching her grow too fast, he learns that family isn’t something you find. It’s something you make—and hold onto with everything you have.

word count : 11,658

warnings/content : 18+ MDNI! marriage intimacy including smut, emotional vulnerability, parenting milestones (first words, first steps, first birthday), marriage-coded affection, strong family themes, soft but explicit depiction of married sexual intimacy, very husband-coded and dad-coded Jack Abbot energy.

MONTH ONE

It’s the first night home from the hospital when Jack realizes no amount of emergency training prepares you for a seven-pound newborn screaming at 2:00 a.m.

You’re crying, too.

Soft, exhausted tears you wipe away with the heel of your hand while trying to figure out the damn swaddle that looked so easy in the maternity class.

Jack watches you for a second from the nursery doorway, heart caught somewhere in his throat. Then he steps in, limping slightly from the long day and the prosthetic pinching at the socket, and kneels awkwardly next to you on the carpet.

“Move over, honey,” he mutters, hands gentle as he scoops up the baby—your baby—his daughter—like she’s something sacred.

"You’re doing good," he says, voice low, rough around the edges. "We’re just outnumbered, that’s all."

You let out a low, breathless laugh and lean into his side, drawn in by instinct more than thought. Jack smells like the hospital—something sharp and sterile clinging to his skin—but beneath it, there's a rougher pull: warm skin, worn leather, the dark, carved scent of mahogany and teakwood.

“C’mon, little bean,” Jack murmurs, voice low and rough with exhaustion. “We’ve made it through worse nights than this.”

You snort under your breath.

“She’s five days old, Jack. What worse nights?”

He shifts the baby higher onto his shoulder, the motion easy, instinctive, like she’s already been part of him forever. Without missing a beat, he deadpans, “You ever been stuck inside a Black Hawk during a sandstorm?”

You smack his arm, half laughing, half crying again, the sound breaking loose before you can catch it. Jack just grunts, the barest curve tugging at the corner of his mouth. He rocks the baby gently, his palm splayed wide over her tiny back like he could shield her from the whole world if he tried hard enough.

“You’re not in a war anymore, Jack,” you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them.

He doesn’t look at you. Just leans down, pressing a kiss to the soft, downy hair at the crown of your daughter’s head.

“No,” he says, so quietly you almost miss it. “But I’m still fighting for something.”

The first month is a mess.

The kind of beautiful mess Jack would throw fists for if anyone ever tried to take it from him.

You both live in pajamas now. The kitchen has surrendered first—an open graveyard of half-drunk coffee cups, takeout containers, and meals nuked just enough to be edible. Some nights, you collapse into bed with the baby between you, swearing you’ll move her to the bassinet as soon as you can feel your legs again.

Jack, somehow, turns out to be better at diaper changes than either of you expected.

“Field dressing a sucking chest wound’s harder,” he mutters at four a.m., hands steady as he peels back the tabs of a fresh diaper. You’re blinking back tears over the latest catastrophic blowout, but Jack just shrugs, casual, like he's back in the desert again. “You just gotta respect the shrapnel.”

You’re better at feeding her—at being soft, patient, warm, even when you’re dead on your feet.

Jack watches you from across the couch sometimes, nursing her with your sweatshirt slipping off one shoulder, and he thinks about how he almost didn’t get this.

How easily it could’ve gone the other way.

And he aches.

God, how he aches.

At her two-week checkup, Jack nearly decks a stranger.

You’re pushing open the door to the pediatrician’s office when it happens—some old guy with too much time and too little shame leers and says, “Bounced back fast after birth, huh?” His eyes drift lower, lingering where they have no business being.

You freeze, the words catching in your throat.

Jack doesn’t.

He moves without thinking, sliding in front of you with the kind of quiet, coiled force that doesn’t ask twice. It’s instinct, muscle memory, something deeper than thought. His frame blocks you from view, every line of his body taut with warning.

“Move along,” Jack says, low enough to rattle the floorboards.

The guy doesn’t argue. He takes one look at Jack—at the broad set of his shoulders, the dead-calm heat in his eyes—and stumbles off without another word.

Your fingers find Jack’s wrist, a light touch, grounding him before he slips somewhere darker.

He flexes his hand once, twice, the tension bleeding out slow. Then, wordlessly, he threads his fingers through yours, squeezing once.

He doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t have to.

On the nights when the house feels too small and the baby won’t sleep unless she’s moving, Jack drives.

He straps her into the car seat so carefully you'd think she’s made of glass, adjusts the rearview mirror just to catch a glimpse of her, and drives the empty streets of Pittsburgh while you nap in the passenger seat, a ratty Allegheny General hoodie drowning you to the wrists.

Jack hums under his breath to fill the silence.

Old Johnny Cash songs. Some half-forgotten lullaby he doesn’t realize he knows.

You wake up once at a red light and find him staring at the baby in the mirror like she’s the first sunrise he’s ever seen.

You don’t say anything.

You just reach across the console and wrap your fingers around his wrist again.

Jack squeezes back.

Always back.

By the end of the first month, the house is wrecked, your work email has 235 unread messages, and Jack is one wrong word away from brawling with the guy at the grocery store who keeps asking if he needs "help carrying his bags" because of the limp.

Some nights you fall asleep on the couch with the baby breathing soft against your chest, too worn down to even shift her to the bassinet. Tonight’s one of those nights.

Jack walks in from the kitchen and stops when he sees you there—both of you curled into each other, the porch light casting a soft glow across the room.

Slowly, carefully, he lowers himself down. Not onto his knees—he plants himself into a sitting position, legs stretched out, leaning his good shoulder into the side of the couch so he’s right there, steady and close.

He brushes your hair back from your face with the backs of his fingers, so gently it almost doesn’t touch.

You stir at the contact, your voice thick with sleep.

"You’re tired too. Let me take her."

Jack shakes his head.

"No."

It’s soft. Absolute. Final.

He reaches up, sliding his hand over your shin, anchoring himself to you. His other hand comes to rest lightly on the baby's back, fingers spanning nearly her whole body.

"You’ve done enough today, baby," he murmurs, voice rough and low, barely stirring the air.

"You both have."

Jack tilts his head against the couch, eyes slipping closed. He doesn't need to say it—how much this moment means, how deeply it roots itself inside him.

The weight of it—the love, the exhaustion, the brutal, perfect ache of having something to lose again—presses deep into his bones, his chest, his blood.

And he lets it.

Finally, finally, he lets it.

MONTH TWO

The second month of her life feels quieter—but not easier.

The house settles into a strange rhythm: sleep in broken stretches, coffee going cold on the counter, laundry half-folded before someone cries (you, him, the baby—any of the above).

And Jack, god love him, tries to hold it all together like he's still back in combat—shouldering it, swallowing it, limping through it even when it's bleeding him dry.

You wake up around 3:00 a.m. to the soft, rhythmic creak of footsteps.

The baby’s crying had pierced your dream, but what keeps you awake is the sound of Jack pacing the living room—steady, stubborn, relentless.

You get out of bed and creep toward the hallway, heart aching at the sight you find:

Jack's shirt is rumpled, hanging loose over sweatpants. His hair's a wreck. He's moving with that stiff, exhausted limp he gets when he’s pretending everything’s fine. When it's been rubbing wrong all day and he hasn't said a word about it.

Your baby is pressed against his chest, tiny fingers clinging to the fabric of his t-shirt, and Jack’s rubbing her back in slow, soothing circles, murmuring nonsense under his breath.

You stand there for a second, heart splitting open inside your chest.

He’s trying so hard.

He’s carrying all of it.

And you’re not about to let him do it alone.

"Jack," you say softly.

He startles a little, blinking over at you with that war-tired look he gets sometimes, like he forgot he's allowed to have backup now.

You cross the room without hesitation.

"Hey," you murmur, gentle but firm, sliding your hands around his forearms. "Give her to me, baby."

Jack opens his mouth to argue—but you’re already untangling the baby from his arms, lifting her carefully against your chest.

He lets go with a shuddering breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

You bounce your daughter lightly, whispering soft, nonsense words into her ear while you use your free hand to tug Jack down onto the couch beside you.

"You’re limping bad," you say, thumb brushing over the line of tension at his brow. "You’re running yourself into the ground."

Jack huffs, looking away like he’s embarrassed, like admitting to needing anything is too much.

But you don’t let him.

You tilt his face back toward you with two fingers under his chin—gently, insistently.

"You don’t have to earn this, Jack," you whisper, so low it barely stirs the air. "You already have."

He closes his eyes like the words hurt—and heal—all at once.

You settle your daughter into the crook of one arm, and with the other, you start tracing slow, soothing circles against Jack’s wrist.

Just touching him.

Just reminding him you’re here.

That you’re not going anywhere.

Jack leans his head back against the couch, breathing you in. He doesn't say anything for a long time.

He just lets himself be touched.

Be loved.

And somewhere around the fourth circle you draw against his wrist, he shifts closer and drops his forehead to your shoulder with a heavy, broken little sigh.

You turn your face into his hair and close your eyes.

In the second month, the baby starts to smile for real.

Real, gummy, lit-up smiles that make Jack feel like some knife's getting twisted deeper and deeper in his chest every time he sees them.

She smiles biggest when Jack talks. It doesn't matter what he's saying. He could be reading off the damn grocery list, and she lights up like he’s singing Sinatra.

You catch him one afternoon standing in the kitchen, holding her in the crook of his arm like it’s second nature now, explaining in a deadly serious tone why the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to break his heart again this year.

“Listen, kid, it’s tradition. You root for them, they let you down. Builds character.”

You grab your phone and snap a picture before he can bark at you not to.

Jack scowls, but you see the faintest twitch of a smile he can’t fight back.

He wants to remember this.

You both do.

The second month also brings the first real fight since bringing her home.

It’s stupid.

It’s exhaustion and hormones and pride, the way all stupid fights are.

You leave the car seat in the wrong spot—tilted funny, not latched all the way into the base—and Jack’s voice cuts sharper than he means it to when he points it out.

“She’s tiny, for Christ’s sake, you can’t just—”

“I’m trying, Jack!” you snap back, tears already stinging because you’ve been running on fumes for weeks and you hate feeling like you’re screwing up.

“Yeah? So am I.”

You’re both breathing hard, the kind of thin, angry breaths that never come from real hatred—only from fear.

Only from love.

You turn away, chest heaving. Jack grips the counter, knuckles white, wrestling the instinct to bark something else, something mean just to end it.

Instead—he exhales hard, walks over to you, and wraps his arms around your shaking shoulders from behind.

You don’t fight him.

You crumble.

"I’m sorry," he says, rough against your ear. "You’re doin’ good. Better than good."

His mouth presses to your temple.

"I’m just... scared, honey." It guts him to say it out loud. It tears something wide open. But it’s the truth.

You turn in his arms, grab two fistfuls of his t-shirt, and bury your face against his chest.

Jack just holds you.

Breathes you in like it’s the only thing keeping him standing.

At her two-month appointment, the pediatrician grins and says she’s perfect.

You hold Jack’s hand in the sterile white room, squeezing so tight he must feel the bones grind together.

He doesn’t pull away.

He squeezes back.

Hard.

In the car afterward, Jack drives one-handed with his other hand curled protectively around your thigh, thumb tracing slow, steady lines into your jeans.

You lean into his shoulder at the stoplights, both of you blinking back tears that neither one of you says a word about.

That night, when the baby finally sleeps and the house goes still, you coax Jack into the shower first, insisting you’ll handle the night feed if she wakes.

He tries to protest.

You kiss the protest right off his mouth, slow and deep, until he’s dizzy from it. Until he forgets how to argue.

And when he comes back. you’re waiting for him in bed, the baby curled between you like the only piece of heaven either of you has ever touched.

Jack hesitates for half a second in the doorway, looking at you like a man seeing home for the first time.

Then he crawls in beside you, tucking you against his chest, wrapping his hand around both you and the baby like he can physically keep the whole world at bay.

"You’re my best thing," you whisper into his skin.

Jack's arms tighten around you instinctively.

You feel the rumble of his voice more than you hear it when he answers.

"You two are mine," he says hoarsely.

"My only thing."

And for the first time since she was born, all three of you sleep through the night.

Together.

Whole.

MONTH THREE

The first real laugh doesn’t come from you.

It doesn’t come from the hundreds of stupid faces you’ve been making, the toys you bought, the songs you sang off-key.

It comes from Jack.

Of course it does.

You’re sitting on the floor one slow Sunday afternoon, sorting laundry, when you hear it—a sharp, surprised little giggle that bubbles out of your daughter’s mouth like she’s just been given the whole damn world.

You snap your head up so fast you almost get whiplash.

Jack’s standing over the bassinet, freshly showered, shirt slung loose over his broad frame, cradling her under the arms and bouncing her so carefully.

She’s looking up at him with those big, bright eyes—utterly delighted just to exist in his arms.

And he’s looking at her like she’s gravity itself.

Jack bounces her again. She squeals, full-body, gummy-mouthed, hands flapping.

Jack grins—a real one, crooked and wide and rare—and chuckles under his breath.

"You like that, huh?" he mutters, voice going soft the way it only ever does for her. "Yeah, you would. Tough little thing."

You don't realize you’re crying until Jack glances over and sees you.

His grin fades, replaced by that worried furrow between his brows you know too well. "Hey. Hey, honey, what's wrong?"

You crawl over the laundry, heart a molten, useless mess, and surge up to kiss him—just grab the collar of his stupid, soft t-shirt and haul him down into a kiss so full of love it knocks both of you sideways.

He catches you with one arm, the baby cradled between you, and lets you sob into his mouth without complaint.

Lets you cling.

Because he knows.

Of course he knows.

"I love you," you breathe against his jaw when you finally surface.

"I love you so much I don't even know what to do with it."

Jack presses his forehead to yours, breathing hard.

"You’re doin’ fine, baby," he says hoarsely.

"You’re doin’ perfect."

Jack starts pulling on his black scrubs again.

Not full-time.

Not yet.

Just a couple shifts. Just enough to feel like he’s still the guy who shows up when it counts.

You watch from the kitchen doorway, the baby warm against your hip, as he adjusts the fit of his prosthetic with practiced, impatient hands. The grimace flashes across his face for just a second before he smooths it away.

You shift the baby higher, heart aching.

"You don’t have to prove anything, Jack," you say softly, voice thick with sleep and worry."You’re already everything we need."

He exhales slowly through his nose, scrubbing a hand over his jaw, his movements stiff with exhaustion.

Then he shakes his head once — small, stubborn, final.

"I gotta do it for me," he says simply.

No drama. No explanation. Just truth.

You don’t argue.

You just step closer, barefoot across the tile, and reach up to cup the back of his neck — that vulnerable, familiar spot you’ve loved for years — pulling him down into a slow, steady kiss.

"Come back safe," you whisper against his mouth.

Jack leans into you for a second longer than he means to, his hand sliding instinctively over the baby's small back, grounding himself in you both.

"Always," he promises, voice rough.

You let him go — but not before slipping a small, folded scrap of paper into the chest pocket of his scrub top when you hug him goodbye.

A stupid, crumpled love note, already warm from your palm.

He doesn’t find it until hours later — after he’s stitched up a kid with a broken bottle wound, after he’s cleaned puke off his boots, after he’s barked orders across the trauma bay like muscle memory.

It’s almost 3 a.m. when he sinks down onto a bench in the stairwell, legs aching, head heavy.

Jack fishes the note out absentmindedly, thinking it’s a scrap of gauze.

But when he unfolds it, it’s your handwriting — messy and rushed, like you couldn't get the words down fast enough:

We miss you. We love you. Come home to us.

Jack stares at it for a long second, the breath catching thick in his chest.

He presses the heel of his hand against his face — hard — willing the burn behind his eyes to back off.

Then he folds the note carefully, tucks it back into the pocket over his heart, and pushes himself upright again.

One more patient.

One more hour.

One step closer to home.

The baby starts reaching this month. Grabbing everything. Blankets. Your hair. Jack’s dog tags, which he sometimes wears tucked under his shirt when he needs grounding.

The first time she grabs them—those worn, cold little pieces of steel swinging free when Jack leans over her bassinet—he freezes.

She wraps her tiny fist around the chain and pulls. Hard.

Jack just stands there, staring down at her like she’s cracked open his chest with one touch.

You come up behind him, pressing your hand to the small of his back, feeling the shudder that goes through him.

"You okay?" you murmur.

Jack swallows.

Nods.

"Yeah," he says roughly.

"Yeah, she’s just... strong."

You curl your arms around him from behind, forehead pressed to the sharp line of his spine.

"You’re allowed to be soft too, y'know," you whisper against him.

"She's allowed to make you soft."

Jack closes his eyes and lets the weight of your words settle into his bones.

Late one night, after a particularly brutal shift, Jack comes home bone-deep exhausted. You meet him at the door, baby asleep on your shoulder, wearing nothing but his oversized hoodie and a pair of fuzzy socks.

Jack stares at you like he’s forgotten how to speak.

You press the baby into his arms without a word.

Then you wrap your arms around his waist, lean your cheek against his chest, and stand there breathing him in—hospital soap, sweat, exhaustion, love—until he finally melts against you.

Until he finally lets himself be held. He presses a kiss into your hair, breathing out a laugh that sounds more like a sob.

"Missed you" he rasps.

MONTH FOUR

Jack notices it before you do.

The shift.

One morning, while you’re wrestling a footie onesie onto the baby and cursing under your breath about the tiny snaps "Who invented these? Satan?", Jack leans against the doorframe, rubbing a hand absently over the back of his neck.

“She’s different,” he says quietly.

You look up, exhaustion written all over your face, and squint at him.

“She’s four months old, Jack. She’s not gonna start driving a car yet.”

But he just shakes his head slowly, eyes never leaving her.

“No. She's holdin’ herself different. Stronger.”

You look down—and sure enough, your daughter is sitting up better now, her spine wobbling but proud, little hands planted on her thighs like she’s ready to start throwing punches.

Jack steps forward like he can’t help himself.

He drops to a crouch—careful with the stiff pull of his prosthetic—and cups one big hand around her tiny side, steadying her without overwhelming her.

"Look at you," he murmurs, voice breaking a little at the edges.

"Look how tough you are, bean."

You watch him, heart climbing into your throat. Because you see it too. Not just the way she’s changing—but the way he is.

Jack Abbot, who once stood half a step too close to a rooftop edge because the world was too heavy, is now kneeling barefoot on the carpet, whispering praise to their baby girl who thinks the sun rises and sets just for him.

You slip your arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing your cheek against the crown of his head.

"I love you," you say simply.

Jack kisses the back of your hand.

"I know," he whispers. "And I love you back, honey. 'Til my last damn breath."

This is the month she starts teething.

You survive it through sheer grit, coffee, and the unspoken pact of taking turns walking endless circles around the house with a red-faced, furious, drooling baby in your arms.

Jack handles it the way he handles everything: quietly, stubbornly, with a fierce, aching kind of patience that makes you want to cry and kiss him all at once.

You find him one night at 2:00 a.m., swaying barefoot in the kitchen, shirtless, sweatpants slung low on his hips, the baby gnawing furiously on his knuckle while he hums some gravelly, broken tune into her hair.

You lean against the doorway and just watch him, blinking hard against the tears that well up.

Jack catches you watching. Doesn’t say anything—just crooks a finger at you without shifting the baby from his chest.

"Get over here, pretty girl," he rumbles.

You go willingly, sliding into his side, wrapping your arms around his middle and burying your face in the warm, solid plane of his ribs. He smells like soap, exhaustion, and her. Your whole world tucked into one man.

"You’re the best thing that ever happened to us," you whisper into his skin.

By the end of Month Four, she’s rolling over.

You’re standing in the living room when you hear Jack’s startled bark of laughter from the floor.

You whip around to find him sprawled out on his side, laughing helplessly, while your daughter beams at him proudly from her belly, arms and legs kicking like she just won the goddamn Super Bowl.

Jack slaps a hand to his heart dramatically.

"Baby girl, you’re killin' me!" he groans. "You’re growin’ up too fast already. Slow it down, huh? Let your old man catch up."

You cross the room, scooping the baby up into your arms. "You hear that?" you coo into her hair. "You’re makin’ Daddy emotional."

Jack props himself up on an elbow, watching you two with the softest damn look you’ve ever seen on his face. The one he only ever shows you. The one no one at the Pitt would even believe exists.

You kneel down beside him, easing your daughter into his arms again. You watch the way his whole body softens around her without thinking. How his scarred hands are somehow the safest place in the world.

"She’s perfect," you say softly.

Jack leans down and kisses the baby’s forehead, then yours.

"Yeah," he murmurs.

"So’s her mom."

You spend the rest of the evening curled up together on the living room floor—baby between you, laundry forgotten, the whole messy, perfect world you built breathing around you.

And for the first time since she was born—you’re not scared of time passing. You’re just grateful for every second you get.

MONTH FIVE

It happens by accident.

The first time she says it.

Jack’s sitting cross-legged on the living room rug, hair mussed from sleep, still wearing the black t-shirt and flannel pants he stumbled into after pulling an overnight shift.

You’re curled up on the couch, fighting to keep your eyes open, watching the early spring sunlight spill across the floorboards.

Your daughter is sitting between Jack’s legs, gripping his dog tags in one tiny fist, drooling determinedly all over them while Jack pretends to be scandalized.

"Hey, those are government-issued, kid," he drawls, grinning like a fool. "You gonna pay for ‘em with your drool tax?"

And then—like it’s the most natural thing in the world—she looks up at him, eyes bright, and squeals:

“Dada!”

The word is messy. Slurred. Half-drooled through.

But it’s real.

Clear as day.

Jack freezes.

Completely still, like something in him just snapped loose.

You sit up fast. "Jack," you breathe.

He doesn't move.

Doesn't blink.

The baby bounces in place, fist still clutching the tags, crowing delightedly: “Dada!”

Jack finally exhales, a broken, wrecked sound like he just got the wind punched out of him. He scoops her into his arms so fast she squeals again, arms flailing, laughing.

He presses her tight against his chest, hands shaking.

"You talkin’ to me, bean?" he rasps, voice thick, kissing the top of her head over and over.

"That me?"

You slide off the couch, crawling across the floor to them, feeling your heart explode into a thousand shimmering pieces inside your chest.

You wrap yourself around both of them—Jack and the baby—your forehead resting against Jack’s stubbled jaw. He’s shaking. Full-body, unstoppable tremors. You just hold him tighter.

"You deserve it," you whisper into his skin.

"You deserve every single thing she sees in you."

Jack swallows hard, arms crushing both of you close.

"You’re my whole damn world," he chokes. "You and her—you’re it."

You kiss the corner of his mouth, the scar on his jaw, the salt of tears he didn’t mean to shed.

And when the baby says it again—“Dada!”—giggling and tugging on his shirt, Jack laughs through the wreckage of himself.

Laughs like he’s got a whole new heart built from the two of you.

This month, Jack comes home earlier when he can. Steals hours when the Pitt is short-staffed but Robby covers.

You make a ritual out of it without even meaning to:

Jack coming through the door, dropping his bag with a heavy thunk, immediately seeking you out first.

He always kisses you first.

Even if the baby’s squealing for him, even if she’s kicking her legs and reaching. He presses his mouth to yours first—hard, desperate, like he’s coming up for air.

Then he takes her from you, murmuring nonsense into her hair, like he can't bear to go another second without her.

You watch him sometimes from the kitchen, heart brimming so full it feels like your ribs can’t contain it.

You let the pasta overboil, the laundry pile up, the emails from your accounting firm stack unanswered.

Because nothing matters more than the way Jack Abbot holds his daughter like she’s sacred. Like she saved him.

Late one night, the baby finally goes down after an hour of slow rocking and whispered lullabies.

You tiptoe out of the nursery, heart thudding like you just disarmed a bomb, and find Jack waiting for you at the end of the hallway.

He’s leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. That tired, crooked half-smile lifts his mouth when he sees you.

"She out?" he murmurs.

You nod, grinning like an idiot. "For now. If we breathe too loud, she’ll start screaming again."

Jack chuckles low under his breath. Then he crooks two fingers at you—small, unmistakable—come here.

You pad over and melt against him without hesitation.

Jack’s arms slide around you automatically, strong and sure, pulling you flush against the solid line of his body.

For a few minutes, you just stand there.

Swaying a little.

Breathing in sync.

Letting the world be small and soft for once.

His hand comes up to cup the back of your neck, thumb stroking lazy circles into your hairline. "Miss you," he says roughly, voice low enough that it rumbles against your chest.

You pull back just enough to look at him—really look. At the dark shadows under his eyes. The worn edges of him. And the way his whole face softens when he’s looking at you.

"I’m right here," you whisper, sliding your hands up under his old t-shirt to trace the warm skin of his back. "You always got me."

Jack huffs a soft, broken sound and leans down to kiss you.

Slow.

Lingering.

The kind of kiss that says a thousand things neither of you knows how to say out loud.

His fingers flex against your spine, like he’s grounding himself. Like he’s still a little terrified that one day he’ll blink and you’ll be gone.

You deepen the kiss, tipping up onto your toes, tangling your fingers into the short hair at the nape of his neck. Jack groans quietly into your mouth and tightens his arms around you, lifting you slightly off the ground like it costs him nothing. (You know it does—you know he’s tired and sore—but he doesn’t care.)

He kisses you like you’re oxygen. Like if he stops, the whole world will collapse.

When he finally pulls back, breathing hard, he presses his forehead to yours and just stands there.

Silent.

Anchored.

You guide him gently down the hall, fingers laced through his. The two of you slip into your bedroom, leaving the door cracked just enough to hear the baby if she wakes.

He eases onto the bed. The prosthetic comes off with a practiced, tired motion — a routine so familiar it barely registers anymore — and he sets it aside without ceremony, like he can't stand the thought of one more thing strapped to him tonight.

You slide into bed beside him, the mattress dipping under your weight. Jack doesn’t hesitate—he hooks an arm around you and pulls you in close, pressing you against the steady, grounding thump of his heart.

With his free hand, he pulls the blanket up over both of you, tucking it carefully around your shoulders like he's sealing you in. Then he drops a slow, tired kiss into your hair, lingering there for a second longer than he means to, breathing you in like you're the only thing anchoring him to the world tonight.

You fall asleep like that—safe. Held. Loved. The two of you breathing slow and steady together, with your whole world sleeping peacefully in the next room

MONTH SIX

The thing about six months is—everything starts feeling bigger.

Her smiles.

Her babbling.

The way she kicks her legs like she’s training for the Olympics whenever Jack comes home from a shift.

And your love for her—your daughter—isn’t something neat and quiet anymore. It’s loud inside your chest. It’s messy.

It’s overwhelming in the best way.

You get the morning to yourself one rare Saturday.

Jack’s still knocked out in bed, sleeping off back-to-back night shifts, and the baby wakes early, squirming and babbling in her crib.

You scoop her up before she can start crying and carry her to the kitchen, heart already aching at how much bigger she feels in your arms.

She babbles nonsense at you while you fix a bottle one-handed, bouncing her on your hip.

You talk back, just as nonsensical, just as giddy.

"Yeah? You think so? I dunno, kiddo, the market’s not looking great for that kind of investment portfolio," you joke, nuzzling her soft cheek.

She giggles—full, wild baby giggles—and you feel it shake right through your ribs. You feed her at the table, tucked into the crook of your arm, sunlight pouring across both of you.

The house is still and warm and safe.

It’s just you and her.

When she finishes, you keep holding her, rocking gently. Her little fingers find your hair and tug, clumsy but affectionate. You laugh quietly and kiss the top of her head.

"You’re my best girl," you whisper.

"My whole heart."

You don’t even hear Jack come in. You just feel the change in the air—the way the world gets steadier when he’s close.

You glance over your shoulder to find him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his chest. Sleep-tousled hair. T-shirt wrinkled. And looking at you like you hung the goddamn stars.

"Hey," you murmur.

"Hey," Jack echoes, voice low and rough with sleep.

He crosses the room without hesitation and drops a kiss onto your hair first, then the baby's. Then he sinks into the chair beside you, resting his forearms on the table, eyes drinking you both in like he’s starving for it.

"You’re beautiful, you know that?" he says softly.

It’s not performative.

It’s not dramatic.

It’s just the truth, plain and steady, the way Jack says everything that matters.

You feel your face flush, your chest tighten.

Even after everything—even after the sleepless nights, the spit-up stains, the exhaustion—you still feel beautiful when he says it.

You still believe it.

Because it’s Jack.

And Jack doesn’t waste words.

That afternoon, you all pile into the beat-up Jeep and drive out toward the river, just to get some fresh air.

The baby's strapped into her carrier against Jack's chest, her little arms poking out. He adjusts the straps with the easy, absent-minded care of a man who would walk through fire just to keep her comfortable.

You hold hands as you walk, your fingers laced tight, your body leaning naturally into his.

Jack lifts your joined hands sometimes just to kiss your knuckles, like he can't help it. Like the love is leaking out of him at the seams.

The baby finally goes down around 9:30. You stand frozen outside the nursery door. Across the hall, Jack leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching you with that sleepy, crooked smile that always gives him away.

The 'I’d burn the world down for you' smile.

The one he thinks you don’t catch.

You tiptoe toward him, socks sliding slightly on the hardwood, and he lifts his hand—palm up, waiting. You grin, fitting your fingers into his without hesitation.

He squeezes once, slow and firm.

"Mission accomplished," he murmurs, voice low enough that it doesn't even ripple the heavy quiet of the house.

You snort quietly.

"One kid. One bedtime. And it almost killed us."

Jack tugs you gently toward the kitchen. "Almost," he says, mock serious. "But not quite. ‘Cause you married a damn machine, sweetheart."

You roll your eyes so hard you almost sprain something.

"A machine who just bribed a six-month-old with four rounds of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and half a pack of graham crackers?"

Jack smirks as he grabs two beers from the fridge—one for him, one he opens and hands to you like he’s presenting you with fine wine instead of a Sam Adams.

"A win’s a win, pretty girl. Don’t question the strategy."

You lean your elbows on the counter, taking a long pull from the bottle, watching him. Loose, hair messy. T-shirt stretched across his shoulders. Grinning at you like he’s just happy you’re standing in the same room breathing.

He sets his beer down, then leans in until his forehead bumps yours lightly. "Still married to me," he murmurs, like it’s some grand, ridiculous miracle. "Still puttin’ up with my ass."

"Somebody’s gotta," you tease, nose brushing his. "Can't let you run around unsupervised. You’d live on black coffee and beef jerky."

Jack laughs, low and warm, and drops a quick kiss onto your mouth—chaste, easy. But you feel the zing of it anyway.

The way you always do with him.

Like the earth tilting a little under your feet.

You set your beer down blindly and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Jack goes willingly, hands sliding low around your hips, thumbs slipping under the hem of your sleep shirt to find bare skin.

He grins against your mouth, voice rough with teasing. "Careful, honey. House is quiet. Baby’s asleep. Husband’s feelin’ reckless."

You tilt your head back a little, laughing softly.

"Oh yeah? What exactly is reckless gonna look like?"

Jack leans in again, bumping your nose with his. "Thinkin’ about throwin’ you over my shoulder. Maybe take you to the bedroom. Show you you’re still my girl first and her mom second."

You feel it—the way your heart slams against your ribs, the way heat flares under your skin.

God, you missed this.

Missed him like this—teasing and full of life and all that wrecking ball love aimed straight at you.

You tug his shirt higher, fingers skimming the hard plane of his back. "You’re all talk, Dr. Abbot," you whisper. "You forget—I know you."

Jack’s grin turns dangerous. "You sure about that, honey?"

Before you can answer, he sweeps you off your feet with one fast, practiced move—arms under your thighs, lifting you onto the kitchen counter like you weigh nothing.

You gasp, laughing breathlessly as your beer bottle clatters harmlessly.

Jack crowds into your space, standing between your knees, hands braced on either side of you. His eyes are heavy-lidded, burning dark under the dim kitchen light.

"You’re still my girl," he says, voice dropping.

"Always gonna be."

He kisses you then—and it’s nothing like polite.

It’s deep, dirty, teeth dragging gently against your lower lip before his mouth seals over yours in a kiss so consuming it makes you whimper low in your throat.

Jack groans in answer, sliding his hands up under your shirt, palms rough and reverent over your ribs, your back, the soft curve of your waist.

You clutch at his hair, pulling him impossibly closer, your body arching into him on instinct.

The kiss goes on and on—long, slow, greedy—like he’s trying to make up for every second the two of you have been too tired, too busy, too wrapped up in being parents to just be husband and wife.

When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathing hard, faces flushed, chests heaving.

"Love you," he murmurs, so low and wrecked you almost cry. "More now than the day I married you. More every damn day."

You kiss him again, softer this time, and thread your fingers through his.

"Same, Jack," you whisper. "Same. Always."

Jack presses another kiss to your temple, then another to your cheekbone, then one to the corner of your mouth—because he’s a man who doesn’t know how to stop once he starts.

And you let him.

You let him kiss you like he’s starving, let him hold you like you’re the only thing that’s ever made sense.

Because you are.

You always have been.

MONTH SEVEN

The late afternoon light spills golden across the living room, catching on the scattered toys and half-folded laundry.

Jack’s flat on the carpet, army-crawling after your daughter, who’s shrieking with laughter as she belly-flops toward her stuffed dinosaur.

"And she’s on the move!" Jack calls, his voice exaggerated and playful, dragging himself forward with his arms, shifting his weight carefully off his prosthetic like it’s second nature now.

Your daughter lets out a victorious squeal as she clutches the dinosaur, kicking her legs against the carpet.

Jack grins up at you from the floor, flushed and a little breathless. "Looks like the rookie’s got me beat," he says, dragging himself into a full, lazy sprawl. "Think she’s got a better crawl time than I ever did."

You’re sitting on the couch, your legs tucked under you, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

"Maybe if you had a binky and a stuffed T-Rex in basic, you would’ve made it further," you tease.

Jack barks a laugh, slow and rumbling.

"You tryin’ to start something, honey?" he says, rolling onto his good knee and levering himself upright in that smooth, practiced motion he’s mastered without fanfare.

"You got the mouth for it."

You arch a brow, playful.

"You wouldn't dare."

Jack tilts his head, that cocky, lopsided grin tugging at his mouth. "Wanna bet?"

Before you can move, he lunges—slow enough for you to see it coming, fast enough that you shriek anyway, scrambling off the couch.

You dart for the hallway, laughing breathlessly. Jack’s heavy footfalls thud behind you—the lighter footstep mixing with the solid stomp—and you’re laughing so hard you can barely breathe as he catches you around the waist.

You squeal, kicking your legs uselessly as he lifts you, hauling you easily against his chest.

"Gotcha," he murmurs, nuzzling into your neck, his voice a low, delighted growl.

You slump against him, laughing helplessly, your heart hammering in your chest.

His hands are warm on your hips, steady and strong. Jack chuckles low, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

"Raincheck," he murmurs against your skin. "Handle her first. Then you’re all mine."

It takes an hour to get her down.

A bottle.

Three lullabies.

Some quiet rocking with Jack swaying on his feet, his body moving instinctively to keep her settled. You watch him from the nursery door, heart aching so sweetly it hurts—the way he holds her, the way his whole body softens when she finally, finally gives in to sleep.

When he lays her gently in the crib and brushes a calloused knuckle over her cheek, you know you’re done for.

Jack straightens slowly, adjusting his balance before he turns back toward you. He’s flushed and tired and barefoot, in an old black t-shirt and sweats—and he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

You take his hand silently.

He lets you.

Lets you pull him down the hall, fingers laced tight into yours.

The second you’re both inside the bedroom, Jack tugs you to a stop.

"You sure?" he says, voice low, serious. "Honey... we don’t gotta rush. You’re tired, I know—"

You cut him off with a kiss.

Hard.

Needy.

Full of every word you can’t fit into your mouth fast enough.

Jack groans low in his chest and lifts you carefully, steadying you against him before easing you back onto the bed.

No rush.

No slam.

Just the kind of rough, reverent touch that only he knows how to give you.

He crawls over you slowly, moving like he’s already half-drunk on you. His weight shifts naturally off the prosthetic, instinctive after all these years—but this time, he pauses. Sits back on his heels, eyes never leaving yours.

Wordlessly, Jack reaches down and unclips the prosthetic, setting it aside with a soft thud against the floor.

He exhales through his nose, rough and steady, the kind of sound he only makes when he’s dropping the last of his defenses. When it’s just you and him and nothing else that matters.

Then he’s back over you, heavier now, hotter, real in a way that steals the breath from your lungs.

Jack fits himself between your thighs, the mattress dipping under his weight, his hands bracing on either side of your head.

"You good, baby?" he mutters, voice gravel-thick, the words brushing warm against your mouth.

You nod, already arching up into him, already lost.

Jack smiles—slow, crooked, hungry—and kisses you like a man who’s got nowhere else to be. His hands slide under your shirt, fingers rough and reverent against your skin.

"You’re so goddamn beautiful," he mutters, voice wrecked.

"Been drivin' me crazy all day. Chasin’ you around the house like a damn fool."

You giggle breathlessly into his mouth, tugging his shirt off over his head.

Jack chuckles low, dragging your sleep shirt up inch by inch, kissing every new patch of skin he uncovers.

He’s warm and solid and stupidly good at this—kissing you until you’re panting, until you’re squirming under him, until you’re gasping his name.

"You’re mine," he murmurs against your skin. "Still my girl. Always."

When he finally slides inside you, it’s slow.

Deep.

A rhythm he sets without thinking—steady, grounded, devastating.

You clutch at his shoulders, your nails scraping gently over the broad planes of his back. Jack buries his face in your neck, groaning low as he rocks into you, one hand sliding under your thigh to angle you closer, deeper, better.

"God, baby," he pants. "Feels so good—always you, only you—"

You arch into him, every nerve ending blazing, every breath catching.

He kisses you like it’s the first time.

Like it’s the last time.

Like it’s the only thing that’s ever made sense.

You come apart first—soft, wrecked, clinging to him—and Jack follows with a groan that sounds like your name shattered across his lips.

He stays there, breathing hard against your skin, his body heavy and warm and so damn real on top of you.

You thread your fingers through his messy hair, stroking gently. Jack hums low, shifting carefully so he’s not crushing you, pulling you into his side, tucking your head under his chin.

"You’re my whole world," he whispers, voice cracking. "You and her. Always."

You kiss the center of his chest, right over his hammering heart.

"You’re ours too," you whisper back. "Always."

MONTH EIGHT

The house is so quiet in the early mornings now.

Jack is always the first one up. Not because he has to be—but because he wants to be.

You find him almost every morning sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand, the baby in his lap.

Sometimes he’s got her pressed against his chest, one hand wrapped completely around her little body.

Sometimes he’s reading aloud from whatever’s nearby—sports page, medical journal, the back of a cereal box.

This morning, it’s the latter. Jack’s deep voice rumbles through a very serious dramatic reading of the Lucky Charms ingredients list.

You lean against the doorway, grinning like an idiot, just watching them. Watching the way he sips his coffee absently between sentences, the way the baby clutches a fistful of his t-shirt, drooling contentedly.

The way Jack drops a kiss onto her hair every couple minutes without even realizing he’s doing it.

This is what love looks like, you think. This is what home feels like.

It happens on a Sunday morning.

One of those soft, slow days where the house smells like coffee and pancakes and the baby’s shrieking happily in her bouncer.

Jack’s at the stove, wearing nothing but flannel pajama pants and an old army t-shirt, trying to flip pancakes while holding a spatula and a coffee mug at the same time.

You’re sitting on the counter, swinging your legs, wearing Jack’s hoodie and absolutely no pants, grinning like an idiot.

"You're gonna burn those," you warn, sipping your coffee.

Jack glances over his shoulder, smirking.

"Negative, pretty girl. This is controlled chaos."

The second he turns back, the pancake flops halfway out of the pan, folding over itself in a sad, gooey mess.

You laugh so hard you almost spit out your coffee. Jack groans dramatically, setting down the spatula and mock-bowing to the baby.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he says solemnly. "Your breakfast has been compromised."

The baby claps her hands excitedly.

And then—clear as a bell—she looks straight at you and says, "Mama!"

You freeze.

Jack freezes.

The whole house freezes.

Your coffee cup slips out of your hands onto the counter with a thunk. Jack turns, eyes wide, mouth falling open in slow motion.

"Did she—?" he croaks.

"Did you—?"

You slide off the counter, rushing over, scooping her up in your arms, laughing and crying all at once.

"Say it again, baby," you whisper, beaming through your tears.

And sure enough, your daughter beams back at you, kicking her little legs, babbling happily: "Mama! Mama!"

Jack’s standing frozen by the stove, coffee mug forgotten in his hand, just staring at the two of you. His face is flushed, his eyes suspiciously bright.

You turn toward him, bouncing your daughter on your hip.

"Jack," you laugh, voice thick.

"She said it! She really said it—"

You don’t even finish. Jack’s across the room in three strides, careful not to trip on the rug, pulling you both into his arms.

He hugs you so tight you can barely breathe, his head dropping to your shoulder, his whole body trembling with the force of it.

"I’m so goddamn proud of you," he mutters hoarsely, pressing a kiss into your hair, then one to your daughter’s head.

"So proud of my girls."

You blink up at him, overwhelmed with love, cupping his face in your hand. Jack leans into your touch shamelessly, his lashes lowering, his mouth soft and wrecked.

"Mama," the baby chirps again, and Jack laughs—low and broken and full of more joy than you’ve ever heard from him.

"Yeah, that’s right, bean," he whispers. "That’s your mama. Best damn one in the world."

You end up on the couch in a heap—Jack stretched out with you sprawled half on top of him, the baby curled between you, all three of you breathing each other in.

It’s messy.

It’s imperfect.

It’s everything.

The first real crisp Saturday, Jack piles you both into the Jeep.

No agenda. Just air. Leaves. Time.

He drives with one hand on the wheel, the other reaching over to hold yours across the console.

The baby babbles in her car seat, kicking her little feet at the window, and Jack keeps glancing at her in the mirror with that soft, wrecked look you’ve come to recognize.

You end up at a small park—just woods and trails and a rickety playground. Jack lifts her out of the car seat with the same appreciation he uses for the most fragile patients.

Presses his forehead to hers.

"You ready to see the world, little bean?" he whispers.

You walk the trails together, Jack keeping her tucked close to his chest, narrating everything he sees: "This is a maple tree, sweetheart. Turns red in October. Looks like the whole damn world’s on fire when it hits right."

"These are squirrels. Little thieves. Don’t trust ‘em."

You laugh the whole time, half at him, half at the sheer overwhelming joy of watching the two people you love most in the world wrapped up in each other.

Jack pulls you into a kiss when you least expect it—deep, slow, hungry—with the baby giggling between you.

Like he can’t help it.

Like loving you is as natural to him as breathing.

MONTH NINE

Jack’s the one who insists on it.

You catch him late one night scrolling through his phone in bed, looking at local pumpkin patches like he’s planning a heist.

You smother a laugh into his shoulder.

"You serious about this, Abbot?"

Jack snorts.

"First Halloween. First pumpkin. Non-negotiable."

He books it two days later—drives you both out on a crisp Saturday, one hand on the wheel, the other resting over your knee the whole time. Your daughter’s bundled in a little fleece onesie with bear ears on the hood, clutching the strap of her car seat and babbling to herself.

When you get there, Jack’s all in.

Wheeling the wagon.

Letting her "choose" a pumpkin by the scientific method of whichever one she tries to eat first.

Crouching slow and careful so she can sit in a pile of leaves while he snaps a thousand photos on his phone like a proud dad on steroids.

At one point you turn around and find Jack sitting in the dirt, legs sprawled out, your daughter crawling all over him—tugging at his hoodie strings, trying to steal his hat.

He’s laughing, full and unguarded, his face lit up in a way that makes your heart physically ache.

It happens when you’re least expecting it. Which, you’re starting to realize, is how all the big moments happen.

You’re doing dishes in the kitchen. Jack’s sitting on the floor, flipping through a toy catalog someone left at the nurses' station, pretending to be very serious about Christmas gift planning.

The baby’s on her playmat, babbling to herself, surrounded by stuffed animals and teethers.

You walk into the living room—and freeze.

She’s got her tiny hands braced on the couch. Her legs wobble dangerously under her.

But somehow—God, somehow—she pulls herself upright.

Your mouth drops open.

"Jack—"

Jack’s eyes are wide, almost panicked.

Like if he blinks, he’ll miss it.

Like it’s the most fragile miracle in the world.

She wobbles, Jack lunges—and catches her gently before she tips.

"That’s my girl! You’re gonna take over the world!"

You sit down hard on the couch, heart pounding, grinning so wide your face hurts. Jack beams at you over her head, and you swear to God his eyes are shiny.

He won’t admit it.

But you know.

You both pretend it’s for her.

It’s not.

It’s for you and Jack.

Jack spends hours on the couch sketching costume ideas like he’s designing a battle plan.

Pirates?

Farmers?

Superheroes?

Jack suggests "trauma surgeons," but you veto it when he tries to strap a fake scalpel to the baby’s diaper bag.

You finally settle on a simple one: A little pumpkin suit for her.

You and Jack wear matching orange hoodies.

Jack grumbles, but secretly loves it—you can tell by the way he keeps brushing his knuckles against your side every time you get close.

At the neighbor’s block party, Jack holds her the whole time, proudly accepting compliments like he personally grew her in the backyard.

He lets her chew on his hoodie string.

Lets her grab fistfuls of his hair.

Lets her shriek in his ear without flinching.

Later, back home, you find him sitting on the floor in the nursery with her asleep on his chest—both of them still wearing their pumpkin outfits.

MONTH TEN

The front yard was Jack’s idea.

"You can’t stay cooped up in the house forever, bean," he tells her, propping the storm door open with his boot while he adjusts the old quilt he spread out over the browning fall grass.

"You gotta touch some dirt sometime. It's character-building."

You smile from the porch, arms folded loosely over your chest, heart full to the point of aching. It’s cold enough that you’re both bundled up—Jack in an old hoodie and jeans, your daughter in a too-puffy jacket that makes her arms stick out like a tiny scarecrow.

Jack crouches carefully. He sets her down on the quilt.

She sits there for a second, blinking up at him.

Then at you.

Then down at the crinkling, crunchy leaves scattered across the grass. Jack tosses her one—big and orange, almost bigger than her face. She squeals, clutching it in both hands, waving it around like a victory flag.

You laugh quietly.

Jack turns his head, grinning that slow, easy grin that still knocks the breath out of you.

And when he turns back—it happens.

She pushes herself upright.

Wobbly.

Determined.

Like the whole world’s just waiting for her to take it.

Jack freezes, one hand still half-extended like he was about to offer her another leaf.

You watch, breathless, from the porch—hands fisted in the sleeves of your sweatshirt, heart pounding.

And then—one step. Another.

Toward him.

Toward Jack.

Jack doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. Just stays absolutely still, arms hanging loose at his sides, his whole body vibrating with the effort not to rush forward and grab her.

When she stumbles into him—three full steps later—he scoops her up so fast you barely see it happen.

Lifts her high into the air, spinning once under the porch light, laughing that full, broken, wrecked-little-boy laugh you only hear when he’s completely undone.

"That’s my tough girl," he breathes, pressing kiss after kiss into her pink cheeks. "God, you’re somethin’ else, baby bean."

He tips his head back toward you, still holding her high against his chest—and you see it.

The way his mouth is trembling.

The way his eyes are suspiciously bright, blinking hard.

Jack Abbot, who’s been shot at, seen death on rooftops and in ER trauma bays—wrecked into soft, helpless pieces by a pair of wobbly baby legs and three whole steps.

You jump down off the porch without even thinking, running toward them, wrapping yourself around them both.

Jack catches you one-armed, pressing his face into your hair, breathing hard.

"You see that?" he mutters against you, voice rough and low. "She chose me. Took her first steps to me."

You nod, laughing through tears.

"I saw it, Jack," you whisper back. "I saw everything."

The first real cold snap hits two weeks later.

Jack makes a production out of it—dragging down tubs of winter clothes from the attic, testing the space heater, checking the baby monitor batteries like you’re preparing for the Arctic.

You find him one evening sitting on the floor of the nursery, surrounded by a sea of tiny coats, mittens, hats, and boots.

The baby’s crawling around giggling, trying to chew on every hat she can get her hands on.

Jack’s holding up a toddler-sized snowsuit with a deeply skeptical expression.

"She’s gonna look like a marshmallow," he mutters. "Can she even breathe in this?"

You laugh, sitting down beside him. "You’re gonna be that dad, huh?" you tease, bumping his shoulder. "The one who brings her to preschool wearing a parka in 40 degrees?"

Jack lifts his chin stubbornly. "Better too warm than too cold."

He glances at the baby trying to fit an entire mitten in her mouth and grins. "Besides. She’s gotta survive Pittsburgh winter. It’s a rite of passage."

You didn’t plan on getting a tree that day.

Jack says it’s too early. You agree.

But when you drive past the little lot tucked between the church and the fire station—when you see the tiny white lights strung overhead—you both say nothing.

Just look at each other.

And turn in without a word.

Jack lifts the baby out of her car seat, tucking her close against his chest inside his coat. You wander through the rows slowly, letting her grab fistfuls of pine needles, letting Jack argue seriously with the teenager working the lot about which tree "looks the most structurally sound."

You settle on a small, sturdy one.

Jack ties it to the roof of the Jeep himself, refusing help.

You know better than to argue—watching him knot the ropes with steady, competent hands, his mouth set in that focused line you love so much.

When you get home, he lifts the baby onto his shoulders and lets her "help" you string lights—her squealing laughter echoing off the walls.

Jack catches your hand as you walk past, tugging you into his side.

"We’re makin’ a good life, huh, pretty girl?" he murmurs.

"One hell of a good life."

MONTH ELEVEN

You didn't plan to make a big deal out of it.

First Christmas.

She's too young to remember.

That's what you kept telling yourselves.

But Jack...he can't help himself.

You find him at the kitchen table on Christmas Eve, hunched over a roll of wrapping paper, tongue poking out slightly as he wrestles with Scotch tape and a box that’s clearly too big for its contents.

The tree glows in the corner of the living room, soft and gold, the whole house smelling like pine and cinnamon.

Your daughter babbles from her playpen, chewing on a crinkly ribbon Jack forgot to hide. Jack just shakes his head fondly and lets her.

When he sees you standing there, arms crossed and smiling, he tries to scowl. Fails miserably.

"What?" he mutters, sticking another crooked piece of tape down. "Santa’s gotta show up somehow."

You cross the room, sliding your arms around his shoulders from behind, resting your chin on top of his head.

"You’re gonna ruin her for real Christmases when she’s older," you murmur against his hair. "Nothing’s ever gonna top this."

Jack hums low in his throat, one hand reaching up to squeeze your forearm where it crosses his chest. "Good," he says simply.

"I don’t want her ever thinkin' she’s gotta go lookin’ for somethin' better. She’s already got everything she needs."

It’s still dark when you feel him stir.

Jack’s body slides out of bed carefully, trying not to wake you. You crack one eye open and watch him pad silently to the nursery in sweatpants and a ratty old Steelers hoodie.

You follow a minute later, wrapping a blanket around yourself.

You catch the scene from the hallway: Jack crouched low by the crib, one big hand resting gently on the bars, his head bowed.

Not saying anything.

Just... being there.

Breathing her in.

He lifts her slowly, carefully, pressing his face into her hair, and you hear it—the soft, wrecked sound he makes when she cuddles into him without hesitation.

"Hey, bean," he whispers, voice cracking.

"Merry Christmas, baby girl."

You stand there, hand pressed to your mouth, heart splitting wide open.

Jack turns finally, cradling her tight against his chest. His eyes find yours in the half-light. And even though he doesn’t say anything, you hear it clear as day:

Thank you. Thank you for her. Thank you for this. Thank you for choosing him.

It starts snowing after breakfast. Big, lazy flakes drifting down outside the windows, blanketing the world in white.

Jack builds a fire in the living room fireplace, cursing gently under his breath when it smokes at first.

You bundle the baby in a ridiculous red-and-white onesie covered in tiny reindeer and sit her in the middle of the couch with a pile of pillows on either side like she's royalty.

Jack flops down beside her with a grunt, stretching out his long legs and tilting his head back to watch the snow.

The fire crackles low. The tree lights blink softly. Your daughter babbles, chewing happily on the sleeve of her onesie. You settle into Jack’s side, his arm automatically looping around your shoulders.

He kisses your temple without thinking. Without needing to.

"You warm enough, pretty girl?" he murmurs. "Got everything you need?"

You don’t answer.

You just nod, curling closer into him, breathing in the scent of smoke and pine and Jack. Because you do. You really, truly do.

The baby sleeps early, worn out by too many presents, too many relatives, too much excitement.

You and Jack stay up late.

Too late.

Sitting on the living room floor like teenagers, backs against the couch, drinking hot chocolate and eating the burnt-edge cookies you forgot to take out of the oven in time.

You talk about stupid things at first. Work. Sports. Whether the baby's going to end up a hockey player or a piano prodigy.

And then Jack gets quiet. Staring into the fire. "You ever think it’d be like this?" he asks finally, voice low and rough. "Back then?"

You know what he means.

Back when the world was a lot harder.

When he never thought he’d make it past thirty.

When you weren’t even sure you believed in happy endings.

You slide your hand into his, threading your fingers tight.

"No," you whisper. "Not like this." You turn your head, smiling soft against the firelight. "Better."

Jack squeezes your hand once, hard, and you feel him nod. Feel him breathe. Feel him let it in. The good. The love. The life he never thought he deserved.

MONTH TWELVE

The holidays are over. The tree’s gone. The stockings are packed away. The house feels a little empty without all the lights and glitter, but honestly?

You’re relieved.

You and Jack have been circling the same conversation for two weeks now: How big should her first birthday be?

Jack leans over the kitchen counter one evening, thumbing through a battered old notebook, his mouth pulled into that stubborn line he gets when he’s pretending to be casual but is actually spiraling.

"I mean..." he says, flipping a page. "We could just do somethin' small. Family. Cake. A couple of her toys. No big deal."

You lift an eyebrow at him.

"And by ‘small’ you mean...?"

Jack shrugs, grinning sheepishly.

"Maybe invite, like, Shen. Dana. Robby. Princess. Perlah. Ellis. Collins. Langdon. McKay. And maybe the rookies if they don't annoy me"

You snort, dropping into the chair across from him.

"So, basically... the entire Pitt."

Jack smirks. "You wanna tell Ellis she’s not invited to her honorary niece’s first birthday?" He taps his pen on the paper. "'Cause I’m not getting in the middle of that one, pretty girl."

You shake your head, laughing under your breath.

"You’re impossible."

Jack leans across the counter, catching your chin lightly between his thumb and knuckle, tilting your face up.

"You love me anyway."

The January sky is sharp and dark, heavy with the kind of cold that makes the world feel smaller.

You find Jack in the nursery after you put the baby down—sitting in the old rocking chair, one foot nudging the floor in a slow rhythm. He’s staring at the crib. Silent. Still.

You lean against the doorway, watching him. Watching the way the weight of the year—the weight of love—settles heavy over his broad shoulders.

Jack finally looks up, catching your eye. His voice is low, rough with something he hasn’t figured out how to say yet.

"You remember..." He clears his throat. "You remember when we brought her home?"

You nod, stepping quietly into the room. Press your hand to the back of his neck, feeling the tension there. The life humming under his skin.

"I didn’t know what the hell I was doin'," Jack mutters, a ghost of a smile tugging at his mouth. "Didn’t know if I deserved her. If I deserved you."

You slide your fingers through his hair, soft and sure.

Jack leans into it like he can’t help himself.

"You do," you whisper. "You deserve all of it, Jack. You always have."

He pulls you into his lap then, wrapping his arms around your waist, tucking his face into your neck. Holding you like you’re the only thing keeping him anchored to the earth.

And maybe you are.

Maybe you always will be.

The day of her birthday dawns cold and gray, the streets dusted with a thin layer of January snow.

You wake up to Jack already downstairs, setting up balloons and streamers with the grim determination of a man trying to fix a leaky roof mid-thunderstorm.

You find him half-wrestling a giant "1" balloon into the living room, muttering curses under his breath when it refuses to cooperate.

"You good, champ?" you tease, sipping your coffee.

Jack glares at you over the top of the balloon, but there’s no heat in it. Only love. Only joy. Only him.

"You wanna fight the damn helium next?" he mutters, half-laughing as he pins the balloon to the back of a chair.

The party is perfect.

Small, chaotic, full of noise and warmth.

The Pitt crew shows up—Dana with an armful of presents, Robby with some ridiculous talking toy that immediately gets banned to the garage after ten minutes, Shen slipping Jack a flask when he thinks you’re not looking.

Jack never puts her down.

Not really.

He lets her toddle a little—lets her show off the new steps she’s so proud of—but he’s always within reach. Always there to catch her.

You cut the cake.

She smashes her tiny fists into the frosting with a triumphant shriek. Everyone cheers. Jack laughs so hard he almost drops the camera.

Later, when the guests trickle out and the house quiets, you find Jack standing in the kitchen, wiping down the counters like he can scrub the day into permanence.

He turns when he hears you, setting the rag down. Looks at you with that look—the one he only ever gives you. The one that says everything without a single word.

You cross the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his waist, pressing your face into his chest.

Jack hugs you back immediately, fiercely. Kisses your hair. "She’s gonna be so damn good, honey," he murmurs against your crown. "You’re makin’ sure of that."

You pull back just enough to meet his eyes. "You too, Jack," you whisper. "You’re the best thing she’ll ever know."

"Can’t believe we made it a year," he murmurs. "Can’t believe we get to keep doin’ this."

"Best thing we ever did." you whisper.

#jack abbot #jack abbot x reader #dr abbot #dr abbot x you #dr abbot x reader #the pitt fanfiction #the pitt x reader #the pitt hbo #fanfiction #shawn hatosy

2K notes · View notes

dcxdpdabbles · 2 months ago

Text

DCxDP Fanfic idea: The Cousin

Clark had always known that Krypton was an entire planet with more than just a few cities scattered about, but it was a very distant knowledge that he grew up with.

Yes, it was sad that he was among the few Kyptonians left in the universe, but Clark has always considered himself human before anything else. He was Jonathan Kent and Martha Kent's son long before he learned of his identity as Kal-El.

It made him feel guilty that he preferred being Clark Kent to Kal-El, but it was the honest truth, as mean as it was.

Kara had once accused him of not understanding what it mean to have lost their home planet like she did. She often pointed out that his Kryptonese sounded like someone who had learned it as a second language. She also claimed that he was only pretending to be Kryptonian in another argument, and the worst was when she stated he wasn't Kryptonian enough. She raged because she was mourning the loss of her planet and people, and lashing out at him was easier.

He knew that, but it still stung, though not in the way she wanted. It stung because of the guilt: He agreed that he was prouder to be considered an Earthling than a Kryptonian.

He couldn't help that English rested more comfortably on his tongue or the scents of Earth's food were far more appetizing than the meals Kara made (As close to her family's recipes as she could. There were some spices Earth similarly couldn't substitute)

His rocket ship was his parents' attempt to stuff as much of their culture as they could into it before their people were wiped out. He tried hard to learn everything they managed to save, but he didn't connect to it as strongly as he did in history class listening to the USA's humble beginnings.

He felt guilty about that, too.

When they found Kon-El, he let Kara give him a name, only to later discover what Kon in Kryptonian meant. By that point, the clone had built an entire identity out of the name, and seeing his cousin's smug smirk made his insides turn.

He didn't like the clone, but he didn't think the boy deserved that. Though Clark should have done something, eventually, he would help rebrand the name, shifting the translation of the more modern (or it was before Kypton was no more) to an older Kryptonian one. Although Kara acted like he was destroying more of their culture, Clark felt it was better this way.

It was a struggle to be trapped between two worlds, but Clark knew which one he would choose every single time.

Then Bruce found the boy.

As usual, Bruce kept an eye on all major powers, including up-and-coming heroes. He first gained wind of the young hero in Amity Park from a young Wes Weston, who posted daily about Phantom. Since Phantom seemed to fall under the jurisdiction of the Justice League Dark, Clark didn't pay much attention to him.

Bruce had eyes on the young hero and had sent Robin to offer training and support, but the boy seemed much more interested in staying in his own part of the world and fighting the dead. Clark could respect that.

All heroes had an area that was undoubtedly theirs, and Phantom picked the most haunted place in the country to protect. It made sense. Months went by with Bruce occasionally bringing up the boy in meetings, to either update them on his work or praise the child for his missions in that weird, emotionless way Bruce talked as Batman.

Then, one day, Kara barged into the meeting, about to argue for her right to join the Justice League, when her eyes landed on the hologram of Phantom, which was frozen in place. Her mouth opened and closed, eyes wide, before she blurted out, "You found someone from the house of Lor-Van!?"

"What?" Clark sat up, recognizing his mother's maiden name.

"Look at his chest! That's the Lor-Van symbol!" Kara screeched, hope starting to bloom in her eyes. "He's your cousin, Kal. Likely from your mother's young brother! I heard he was attempting to make a rocket on the other side of Kypton, but I never knew if he was successful....but he must have! He has your mother's eyes!"

Clark feels like someone kicked him in the chest. His voice cracks as he asks, "There were other refugees from Kypton?"

Whatever glee was on Kara's face died a painful death as she turned away, hiding her tears. "Not everyone believed Uncle Jor, but not everyone thinks he was lying. They just didn't make it."

The silence in the meeting hall is heavy. Clark is only half aware of his teammates shooting unsure glances between the two aliens until Bruce clears his throat. "If Phantom is truly of house Lor-Van, I think it's time to approach him again, especially since he's a ghost. Anyone with magic can take control of him."

"Oh," Kara's voice is small. "He didn't make it either."

Clark leaps to drag Kara into a hug. She goes willingly, but doesn't hug back as she stays stiff as a board, hiding her face in his chest. "He should have been your age. Makes sense why he's still a teenager."

He doesn't know what to say to make her feel better. Nothing will feel better when you lose your entire world.

"We could go meet him, " he offers instead. Clark feels Kara move her head against his chest in one brisk nod, but it's enough for him to excuse himself from the rest of the League. They wave away his apology, offering to come with them for moral support, but Clark feels it's something he and Kara should be able to handle on their own.

She's crying on her way back to Earth, aiming for the part of the planet that houses Amity Park. Clark could have just had the Zeta beams from the Watch Tower, but he felt a flight would have done her some good.

"I don't know why I'm sad," She laughs wetly. "It's not like he's my cousin. He's a cousin of a cousin. I just thought...."

"I know," he tells her, pretending not to see the flooding tears behind her. Maybe we can find out what happened to him."

Maybe he was raised on Earth before his early death. Maybe Phantom is like me. Clark says, but he hopes. Even if it were a ghost, it would be nice to have someone understand.

The two Supers don't say anything else as they re-enter Earth's skies, and they can spot a ain't green glowing monster fighting against another smaller white glowing figure on the horizon.

#dcxdpdabbles #dcxdp crossover #The Cousin #The doddle Sam made turns out to be a alien house crest #Danny is confused for Clark's cousin on his mother's side #Clark's Pov #Is he actually a Kryptonian?#Who knows #Kara is a bit mean here but she's just a angry teenager lashing out #She gets better #Clark is trapped between his two cultures

1K notes · View notes

tojicide · 5 months ago

Text

chapter one ── pest control. the spider’s sense: a spidercaleb series.

♥︎ spider-man!caleb 𝑥 fem!reader

synopsis. ┆ caleb’s life was perfect—until it wasn’t. a radioactive spider bite turned him into linkon’s friendly neighborhood spider-man, the daily bugle started hunting for the man behind the mask, and to top it all off, he was forced to partner up with you—his smart, competitive, and infuriatingly perfect classmate who threatened his spot as number one in the class rankings.

warnings. ┆ college/modern au, academic rivals to lovers, fluff, angst, eventual smut, gran isn’t evil in this LOL, the canon event, college parties, alcohol consumption, cliches, depictions of serious crime, references to the spider-man comics and movies

chapter summary. ┆ caleb's worst fear comes true when the two of you are assigned as lab partners, especially after your first experiment together goes horribly wrong in more ways than one.

series masterlist. ┆ next: chapter two.

Most days in Linkon City begin with sirens.

Loud, blaring, unmistakable screeches that cut through the early morning quiet like a blade, carving their way through alleyways and avenues alike. They seep into walls, curl beneath locked doors, and coil around the restless minds of those who have long since stopped flinching at their call.

To them, the inhabitants of this city, it is nothing more than background noise—a city’s heartbeat, rhythmic and ceaseless. But to you, it is a warning. A sign that the world beyond the window of your dorm room is a battlefield, and you, a stranger in its midst, are only beginning to understand the rules of this strange place.

Perhaps, in time, you will grow desensitized as they have. Learn to sleep through the wailing cries, to walk these streets without the ever-present weight of caution pressing against your ribs. In a way, they forbade you from venturing out, instilling a fear within you that if you did, you would be the individual these melodies chased—or worse, the victim they had been called for in the first place.

The entirety of the first semester has passed, and you haven’t even finished unpacking. Your suitcase remains half-full, a tangible reminder that you do not yet belong here. That you still have a choice—to do something before this place sinks its teeth into you, before you become just another soul who mistakes chaos for comfort.

But that choice is an illusion.

Here, people like you make no difference. You are not a hero, nor anything close to it. You are just a student who knows better, one who recognizes that the sirens will always be there, a requiem for the city’s unrest. And the crime will persist, as will the men in uniform who fail to stop it.

Somewhere beyond the blaring wails, beyond the tangled skyline and shadowed alleys, someone is fighting a battle you will never quite understand.

And for now, all you can do is listen.

Yet, in a way, you know that this was exactly where you wanted to be.

Despite its rapidly deteriorating surroundings, Linkon University remained a place of prestige. Young children dreamed of acceptance into its ranks, babbling to their parents about how they, too, would one day make these halls their stomping grounds. Maybe it was naivety that brought you here. Or maybe it was the last remnants of a dream that hadn’t yet died on your tongue.

Or perhaps, it was the medical journalism program—a rare gem, dwindling into obscurity at every other university.

You were lucky to be accepted. But humbly speaking, luck had very little to do with it. Your stats spoke for themselves: a 1540 SAT, a 4.98 weighted GPA, more extracurriculars than you could count on both hands. A smart cookie, as written in the shining letters of recommendation that paved your way here.

And yet, imposter syndrome festered like a quiet disease, creeping into the spaces between your confidence. You have spent your entire life at the top. Always number one.

Here? You were number two.

Number two to whom? You did not know. Not yet, anyway.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Caleb’s perfect life has unraveled in the span of a week and a half, but he positively swears it’s not his fault.

It’s yours.

Ten days ago, at precisely 12:57 PM, he endured the worst torment known to man: his seat in the lecture hall was stolen. A cruel move, truly. Class had been in session for four days, he’d claimed that seat twice—twice—and by the unspoken law of university students everywhere, that granted him full ownership. So why, then, were you sitting in his allotted property?

Looking back, Caleb sees only two possible explanations. The first: you had unknowingly taken the seat after enrolling just before the census date. The second: you were out to get him from the very start.

And personally? He’s convinced it’s the latter.

But alas, he hadn’t made a fuss about it then. It wasn’t like he’d just lost the single best seat in the entire hall—the one with perfect access to the exit, the projector, and the professor’s desk. But hey, he could be cool about this, right? Yeah… totally cool. So cool. The coolest.

Days passed, and everyone seemed to be settling into the spring semester just fine. The weather was getting warmer, flowers on the great lawn were blooming, and Caleb was thriving.

That was, until the unthinkable happened.

Time? 2:19 PM. Class? CHEM 001 AH. Location? The Grand Hall.

Caleb sat directly behind you, having resigned himself to the second best seat in the room, as the sound of pencils scratching against paper filled the otherwise quiet space.

Taking practice exams felt pointless. A waste of time, really. His efforts could be better spent elsewhere—like taking the real exam or absolutely demolishing his roommate Zayne in Apex Legends yet again. But instead, here he was, surrounded by classmates diligently scribbling away as the session inched closer to its eventual end.

And when it did, Caleb would have simply packed up and gone on his merry way—if not for the single most bone-chilling sentence he had ever heard in his entire academic career.

You were chatting with the girl beside you, talking about things he had zero interest in. Your shared biology class at 3 PM, your dorm building, plans to meet up at the dining hall later… blah blah blah. But then—an acronym. A single, horrific acronym triggered him like a sleeper agent.

“My GPA? Oh, it’s… 4.30. I think. To be honest, it’s been a while since I checked.”

His jaw went slack. His eyes widened. The color drained from his face.

A 4.30 GPA? No. No. That couldn’t be real. That could not be real.

But as his gaze flickered between the back of your head and your friend’s, he came to the most horrifying conclusion of all.

You weren’t lying. And if that were true… then that meant you had the same GPA he did.

Which meant that, depending on your course load and how well you performed, you could take his spot as number one in the class rank.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Caleb burst into his dorm room, slinging his backpack onto his mattress before face-planting into it with a sound somewhere between a groan and a hmph.

Across the room, Zayne didn’t even glance up from his desk, fingers tapping away at his mounted laptop. Click, clack. Click, clack. For a stretch of time, that was the only sound in the room, rhythmic and endless—until he finally exhaled.

“Rough day?”

Caleb didn’t even hesitate. “The worst day.”

Zayne closed his eyes for a moment, like he was mentally preparing himself, before pushing away from his desk and turning his chair just enough to look at his roommate. “What happened?”

Still face-down on the bed, Caleb let out a long, exaggerated sigh—nowhere near as silent as Zayne’s. “I think I have to take trig next semester. Honors.”

That made Zayne pause. Brow quirked, he leaned back in his seat. “Why? Your counselor quite literally said you’re already on track to graduate with honors and as one of the top-ranked students in our year.”

That was the problem, though. Caleb wasn’t satisfied with being one of the best. He wanted to be the best—and now, that source of pride was under attack.

“Well, that was before I found out I’m sharing a GPA with some girl in my chem lecture,” he said, rolling onto his back to stare blankly at the ceiling. “Which means if I don’t get my shit together and pack on a few more honors courses, I’m cooked.”

Zayne laughed and shook his head. He turned back to his desk, plucked his glasses off the mousepad, and slid them on. “You should hear yourself right now.”

Caleb’s head snapped to the side, eyebrows pinching together easily. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just amusing, is all.” his roommate smirked. “I find it endearing that you, Mr. ‘I can skip the final and still pass with a 94%,’ Mr. ‘I think I might take astronomy honors for fun this semester,’—”

“All riiight, I get it,” Caleb cut in. “What’s your point?”

Zayne was still clearly amused. “My point is that if you of all people feel threatened by a classmate you hardly know, maybe there’s a reason for that.”

Caleb hated that there was probably some truth to that. Not that he’d ever admit it. Being threatened by a classmate he barely knew? Please. He knew enough. (And yes, he had meticulously sifted through the entire roster of his chemistry class to stalk your Canvas profile. What? It’s… field research.)

“Y’know, you’re terrible at pep talks,” he muttered, folding his hands behind his head.

“I’m not trying to be,” Zayne replied easily. “But if you want my input—take the trig course next semester. Something tells me you’ll need it.”

Caleb rolled onto his side, fishing his laptop from his backpack as the weight of his evening workload settled in.

And maybe Zayne was right.

Maybe he would need all the help he could get.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

It wasn’t until six days later—today—that Caleb knew for certain fate was no longer on his side.

The professor’s voice cut through the shuffle of students packing up their belongings, all of which were currently praying that their first lab of the semester wouldn’t be a complete and utter disaster. It was a well known fact that Dr. Rappaccini was quite the harsh critic, and an even harsher grader. Her score on Rate My Professors was a whopping 2.8/5 for crying out loud.

“Alright, it’s time for you all to receive your lab partners for the semester. Before heading to the lab next door, please check the list of pairings at the front.”

Luckily, Caleb had committed the syllabus to memory and knew that each person was scored individually no matter how their partner performed, but it was recommended that the pair conduct their experiments together to save time and... okay, maybe he hadn’t memorized it as well as he thought, but at least he knew the core details, right?

Scanning the list, his blood ran cold. He squinted, hoping that the prescription of his glasses had failed him, but of course, it was unmistakable. Your name was printed next to his. Emboldened, unignorable, in a perfectly neutral 12 pt Times New Roman font.

The walk to the laboratory was a quiet one, and you were walking a few feet ahead of him without a care in the world. Reaching for the door handle, he twisted the metallic lever and gestured for you to enter ahead of him with a single nod of his head. It was a force of habit. He may not care for you as an academic peer, but you didn't directly wrong him in any way. Not knowingly, that is.

With a curt nod of your own and a sliver of a smile, you entered the class with a quiet 'thank you.'

And before he could follow in step behind you, the neverending line of your fellow classmates began to flood into the room, leaving him to stand idle while offering each of them a thin-lipped smile. It felt like an eternity before he was able to step inside of the laboratory too, and his first instinct was to map out the classroom to find the best possible seating arrangement.

To his surprise… you’d already claimed the most optimal lab station, and as he approached, you made the first move to speak.

“I hope you’re okay with sitting here,” you say, fishing out your sleek notebook and a bright blue pencil. “It’s the only lab station with equal access to the exit, the supplies cabinet, and the professor’s desk.”

Caleb raises an eyebrow, cocking his head to the side as bewilderment etches into his features. Were you inside of his brain? He clears his throat, shaking away his confusion as he nods. “Yeah, I’m alright with this spot. Good choice.”

Smiling, you nod too. “Cool.”

A beat of silence passes, and you smooth your hands over the black resin material of the table, a movement that his eyes instinctively follow. Then, your hand raises and extends out to him, forcing him to blink himself out of his state of daydreaming.

You say your name while tilting your head with a smile—this time, a smile with teeth—as you wait for his hand to take yours. “And you’re… Xia?”

Raising his eyebrows, he shakes his head while a chuckle slips through his carefully crafted exterior. “Caleb,” he corrects, his firm grasp enveloping your hand as he gives it a shake. “Caleb Xia.”

“Ah, got it,” you remark, an epiphany dawning on you as you slip your hand from his hold. “Well, I’m going to go get our safety goggles.”

But before leaving, you straightened, eyes glued to him—or rather, his head.

Huffing out a laugh through his nose, Caleb’s lip tugs up in the corner. “What are you doing?”

Tapping your chin, you sigh. “I’m trying to see if you have a big head. If you do, I’ll have to go fight tooth and nail for one of the ones with adjustable straps.”

Rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm, he rests his elbow on the edge of the table before leaning his cheek into his hand. “Well, lay it on me. What’s your diagnosis?”

Humming, you tilt your head back and forth before nodding your head a single time. “Big-head syndrome. I’m positive.”

Caleb’s eyes crinkle as he laughs. “I should take that as a compliment. Big head means big brain, you know.”

“Or a big ego,” you retort with a shrug, giving him a once-over with raised brows before whisking away towards the horde of students currently going to war over the remaining pick of the litter.

Yeah, that too, he thinks.

In your absence, he takes the liberty of prepping the lab for the both of you. Beakers? Check. Random substance that the two of you were going to be experimenting on? Check. Hydrochloric acid? Check. Sodium bicarbonate? Check—

“Safety goggles,” you state, plopping down on your stool and handing his pair to him.

Without missing a beat, he speaks. “Check.”

Drawing back slightly, you turn to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “Uh… yeah. Check.”

Faltering, Caleb slides the item onto his face as he stammers through his words. “I was just… never mind, let’s start.”

The class had settled into a low hum—the murmur of newly paired partners, the scribbling of notes, the soft hiss of chemicals reacting.

As the two of you began the experiment, an incredibly prominent conclusion dawned on him: Disliking you as a person wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped. As a competitor? You were treacherous. As a lab partner? You were… tolerable. Efficient. Annoyingly easy to work with.

It wasn’t the end result that he was hoping for, if he were to be entirely honest with himself. He wanted you to be difficult to be around, he wanted you to be stuck up, he wanted you to give him a genuine reason to dislike you apart from being the root of his newfound insecurity. But you weren’t, and that was a problem.

“Pass me the baking soda?” you ask.

“The sodium bicarbonate?”

“Yeah. The baking soda.”

Caleb tilts his head with a smile. “Also known as sodium bicarbonate.”

You glance his way, and your eyes met. “Congrats, big guy. You know big words. Now pass it.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Biting back a smile, he hands it over, only to retract it at the last second. “Wait. What’s it called again?”

Your force smile was all teeth. “Sodium bicarbonate.”

Finally relenting, Caleb places the bowl in your orbit with a triumphant grin.

He was smart enough to know that this was a bad idea. Despite how easily the two of you worked together, he knew that he couldn’t entertain this any further. You weren’t just his classmate, his peer—you were his competition. And while he’s heard the saying keep your friends close, but your enemies closer just as many times as the next person, he knows that mixing any ounce of developing friendship with his pursuit for greatness would be wrong.

It would work best that way. You can’t be friends, and that’s okay.

And for the first time in what felt like ages, fate seemed to agree with him.

“Hmm,” Caleb soon rumbles, squinting at the beaker. “This isn’t lookin’ too good. You said you added the sodium bicarbonate, yeah?”

You frown, glancing up from your notes. Your stomach twists at the sight of the clock—barely any time left before the lab ends. The professor would be making her rounds any second now.

“What? I didn’t add it. You said you added it.”

Caleb flits his gaze to the side of your face. “No, I added hydrochloric acid.”

Your head snaps toward him so fast he was surprised it didn’t snap right off. “No, I added hydrochloric acid.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

You exhale sharply, frustration creeping up your neck. “How are you gonna tell me what I did or didn’t do?”

Your pulse ticks up a bit faster than it naturally should, and your eyes rose up from the glass cylinder. Around the room, students were already wrapping up their conclusions while the two of you hadn’t even finished the experiment. You suck in a breath and push up from your stool.

“Fine. Fine. Can you just pass me the baking soda?”

Caleb nods, handing over the pre-measured bowl of sodium bicarbonate. While you worked to fix the mess, he jotted down a few quick notes. You added just enough of the powder to neutralize the acid—but not smother it completely.

And then? Silence. The two of you sat. Watching. Waiting.

Then, miraculously, the beaker decided to behave and the fizzing subsided.

Like clockwork, you both exhaled, shoulders slumping as small, victorious smiles tugged at your mouths—

Until yours vanished entirely. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Caleb falters, eyes narrowing. “I didn’t say thank you.”

“Well, you should have.”

“Why? If I hadn’t pointed out the weird reaction, we’d have been screwed.”

“Oh? If I hadn’t realized neither of us added the sodium bicarbonate—which was your responsibility, by the way—we would’ve actually been screwed.”

Tension thickened between you like a drawn bowstring. You clench your jaw and look away, scribbling down your final observations. Stupid man, you thought to yourself. And here you were, actually believing that this semester wouldn’t be a total shitshow, that maybe, just maybe, you’d gotten lucky.

Unfortunately not.

Then, your attention was caught by something out of the ordinary. Your gaze lands on his neck, and your breath hitched. Staring back at you was a small, multi-legged beady eyed monster. Sticking out your pointer finger, you still find yourself instinctively drawing back, as if it were out to get you next. “There’s a spider on—”

But before you could finish your sentence, Caleb winced, his veins tightening as he instinctively flicked the eight-legged menace off. You sucked your teeth, drumming your fingers on the table. So much for your timely warning.

Glancing his way, your brows elevate as you see the already forming bite mark on his neck. “Yikes. It got you good.”

“Did it?” he asks, raising a hand to rub over the mark with narrowed eyes. “Hm. Guess so, yeah.”

Reluctantly, you ask, “Are you okay?”

With a nod, he picks up his pencil once more and works on finishing the last of his lab report. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Sighing airily, you can’t help the smile that tugs on your mouth. “Poor spider, being flicked through the air like that.”

Like routine, Caleb shot a glare your way. “Funny.”

“Thanks.”

With that, you left for the washing station. Meanwhile, Dr. Rappaccini stood from her desk, making her rounds. It was in that moment that a shrill of panic shot up his spine—the stimulation foreign, unfamiliar, and… terrifying.

He could feel his heart rate shooting through the roof, a sweat break on his forehead, and his fingertips flex at his sides—all things that he wasn’t even conscious of. And before he knew it, he was glancing in your direction, noting that you were distracted. Good.

With a quick ease, he snatched up your notepad and erased a few numbers, replacing them with subtle, logicless mistakes. 34? Now a 26. 32 to the power of 5? Not anymore.

It wasn’t his proudest moment. Sabotaging his own lab partner’s work? Definitely not.

Ten seconds. That’s all it took to ruin you just enough. He slid the notepad back into place, brushing away the eraser shavings. Like clockwork, you returned, none the wiser.

Exhaling softly, you turned to him. An apology burned on the tip of your tongue, whether it was for the sake of seeking genuine reconciliation or your forced proximity for the semester was unclear. “Look, I just wanted to say that—”

“Now, you two,” Dr. Rappaccini’s voice cut you off.

You both turned as she scanned and picked up Caleb’s report, making a few marks with her fine-pointed marker before sliding it back into place. You glanced over, making note of his grade. 94.

Then, she picked up yours. A moment later, she handed it back. Your professor held up a roll of stickers, tearing two off before setting them down on the table.

Despite the vibrant designs on the stickers, your stomach dropped. Your grade was big, bold, and unmistakable. 82.

“Wait—Dr. Rappaccini,” you call after her, staring at the page with widened eyes of shock. “I… I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

“Well, your experiment was solid—your observations were well-written, and your documentation was precise. But your math?” She sighs. “Completely off.” A beat of silence. Then, a smile. “Don’t feel discouraged. You’re a good student as you are—no need to compare your scores to others.”

The implication was clear. She thought you were smart—just not as smart as Caleb.

Huffing, you toss your notebook onto the table, fingers curling against the edge of it.

“You got cut off earlier,” he says casually, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “What were you sayin’?”

Blinking, you tried to retrace your thoughts. “Oh, yeah… I was just saying that…”

Your voice trails, eyes drifting to your lab report. Caleb caught the flicker of realization dawning on you—and when you turned to him, his not-so-hidden grin said it all.

“I was just saying,” you snap, “that you’re an asshole whose handwriting looks like a drunk chicken clawed at my report.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he says with a shrug, peeling off his sticker to plaster it onto your shoulder. “Good luck on the exam tomorrow morning.”

And with that, he walks out of the lab.

“Yeah, you too,” you murmur, though he was already gone before he could hear the hissed “bitch” that followed.

Irritation pricks at your skin as you stuff—more like shove—your belongings into your backpack. Prick. So much for not knowing the single person you were beneath in the class ranks.

Guilt stirred in his chest as he walked towards his dorm building… but only a little.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

By the time Caleb stumbled back to his dorm, he felt like he’d been hit by a freight train.

He barely managed to push the door open before kicking off his shoes, letting his backpack slump to the floor with a heavy thud. His head swam, his breath uneven as he widened his eyes in a feeble attempt to stay awake. Slapping himself on the cheek, he quickly realized it was no use. His neck stung worse than it had when the spider first bit him, the dull throb pulsing beneath his fingertips as he rubbed over the puncture point.

"Are you drunk?" Zayne’s voice drifts from across the room.

"No," Caleb mutters, face buried in his pillow. "Just… tired. Really tired."

He sank into the thin mattress like dead weight, the springs groaning beneath him. With sluggish hands, he pulled his glasses from his face and tossed them onto the bedside table, missing by an inch. His breathing grew heavier, his skin slick with cold sweat. His pupils—blown wide as saucers—fluttered shut as he barely mustered the strength to tug his shirt over his head and toss it aside.

And within seconds, he was out like a light.

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

The morning sun sliced through the blinds, painting golden stripes across Caleb’s bare back as he jolted awake.

His chest rose and fell in sharp, erratic breaths, but despite the abruptness of it all, he felt… alert. Fully awake in a way that didn’t exactly make sense.

Blinking rapidly, he reached for his glasses and slid them onto his face with a groggy groan. And then—he froze.

His vision was still blurry.

Frowning, he pulled his glasses off, breathed onto the lenses, and wiped them against his bedsheet. When he slid them back on—blurry again. He pulled them down. Clear. Glasses up. Blurry. Glasses down. Clear.

He stares at them in his hands. “...Weird.”

Setting the frames down, he threw his legs over the bed and staggered toward his closet—only to catch sight of his reflection in the mirror. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

Since when the hell did he have abs?

He flexed instinctively, stomach tensing under his own scrutiny. Then his gaze trailed up—to his arms. His biceps. His shoulders.

Turning, twisting, he inspected every angle of himself like a stranger in his own skin. He’d been in shape before, sure, but this? This was different. He would’ve noticed this.

Knuckles rapped against the door, making him flinch.

“Caleb? Are you awake? I forgot my key.” A pause. Then, “Are you feeling any better? You slept like a log last night—perhaps you’re catching a bug.”

"A bug?" Caleb echoes under his breath, flexing again just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “Holy shit… Uh, yeah, man, I’m good. Just—gimme a sec.”

Turning back toward his desk, he reached for his chair, only meaning to push it aside—but the moment his palm touched the wood, it stuck.

His brows furrow.

He yanks once. Then again.

Nothing.

His heartbeat quickens as he curls his fingers, attempting to lift his hand—and instead, he lifts the entire chair clean off the ground.

“What the—” His stomach drops. He waved his hand. The chair waved with it. Up. Down. Side to side. Still stuck.

“Caleb?” Zayne calls from the other side of the door.

Caleb whips his head toward the sound, panic tightening in his throat. Shit. He bolted across the room—chair still attached to his palm—and somehow managed to unlock the door just as Zayne strode in.

Zayne, clearly in a rush, barely spared him a glance as he grabbed a stack of papers from his desk, clipped them together, and breezed back out with a nod.

The door clicked shut behind him.

Caleb exhaled sharply—only to realize his hand was still stuck… to the doorknob.

Huffing, he gave it a firm tug, expecting it to pop free. Instead, the entire knob wrenched out of the door, hinges snapping with a loud crack.

"Shit."

He barely had time to process before his body betrayed him once again—this time, with a sharp thwip.

A thick strand of silk shot from his wrist, attaching him to his bedpost.

His pulse stuttered.

"What. The. Fuck."

Another sharp tug. Another web. More panic. Before he knew it, his dorm room looked like a crime scene from some horror movie—threads of silk stretching from walls to furniture to the ceiling.

His gaze snapped to the clock on his desk. 12:56 PM.

"Alright," he mutters, inhaling deeply. "Exam starts in four minutes. I’m sticking to everything I touch. I’m half-naked. Cool, cool, cool."

But nothing about this was cool.

If anyone in the history of Linkon University could take an exam like this, it was going to be him.

series masterlist. ┆ next: chapter two.

a/n like & reblog if you enjoyed!! this was really fun to write :) also i should’ve mentioned it rly isnt specified how old reader is, just that she’s in college and just starting her second semester at linkon university :) she can be a transfer student (which is kinda what i had in mind), a first year, etc lol it doesn’t really matter bc i’m fine with that being a “plot hole”

i could not stop laughing while writing this at 4am bc i was just imagining caleb coming up with an elaborate ass internalized beef with reader and she’s just sitting in her chem lab like

taglist. (join it by commenting under this post)

@leonskenthusiast @universallysoulcreator @devonjs-blog @lacieohlacie @kisswithyoureyesclosed @lovesick-sylus @livonianmaia @hqnge @yuuuumii @mizzfizz @simpfortheseven @nyxthejinx-rantsaboutlads @mariojins @rcvcngers @yizhoupilled @irlsammy @gloomuri671 @risagichi @drinking2nite @seikamuzu @flowers-wilt-on-juniper-lane

@that-one-scoundrel @joy-laufeyson @missaengg @wheatrice @gvenone @desiree-archive @jayhyunglover @flwerie @miffysoo @jijijihanji @ssetsuka @mglwhor3 @sureconfused @vorfreudevortex @honehbee42 @angelbeat994 @codedove @cheesemachine44 @mocha-the-muse @msanimeotaku181 @breadiestpuffs @idkwhatursayinh @hannahchk @rxelarailuj @littlebabyypeach @wooasecret @nikilig @theweevilofsweetreef @etsuniiru

2K notes · View notes