#it’s been so long since I came out as gay I just have completely lost the ability to assert myself

[eyesxxyou]

❝ sunshine pt.2 ❞ (hobie brown x male!reader)

｡ﾟ･ ¡ content. hobie x male!reader. reader pretends to hate dislike hobie. gay longing. denial of feelings. a little internalized homophobia. leg humping. handjob thru underwear. lots of kissing. hobie being a lil shut. weeks of avoiding hobie become moot when you and him find yourselves alone in a bathroom together.

wc: 3.6k

You wish you hated Hobie Brown.

It would be so easy, wouldn't it? He kissed you, did unspeakable things to you in that closet. And you let him. You enjoyed even, you relished in the way his mouth felt, his lithe fingers sinking into your flesh. the way he cooed in your ear. It would be easy to write him off completely, hate him for the rest of your life, his smug face, his hooded eyes that gaze into yours and hold secrets only known between you, him, and God.

But you don't hate him. You can't. You hate yourself more than anything. You should have never indulged him, never let him put a single finger on you. Because now, when you lie in bed at night and close your eyes, all you can see is him on his knees, feel your cock sliding down the pocket of his throat while he looks up at you through his lashes with those dark eyes of his. You can't get it up any other way. Women don't do it for you anymore.

The moment the two of you left the closet you told everyone to leave. You picked up Hobie’s clothes and shoved them into his arms before sending him out the door with the rest of them. You never once looked him in the eye.

Your friends asked Hobie what had happened inside the hour you spent together and Hobie, being quite the convincing liar, simply shrugged as if he had no idea what had set you off. “Nothin’. Think ‘e migh’ be claustrophobic.” But he knew. You both would always know, no matter how hard you attempted to scrub it from your mind. He’d keep it a secret if you did. He might start shit from time to time but he wasn’t into outing people. He’d keep the secret for you if you didn't want it.

You know better. You know yourself. If you were alone with him, something like that would happen again and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.

So you avoided Hobie like the plague after that night. Every invitation to hang out was promptly turned down with an excuse that was only a thinly veiled lie, obvious to no one except for Hobie who knew better than to accept that you were sick 3 weeks in a row.

It was understandable. He had made you question everything you had known about yourself all within a matter of an hour. Why would you want to be around him? You feared him and everything he symbolized to you.

“It’s Hobie, isn't it?” Your friend, Riri, sighed. She had come in person to get you out of the house. There was no pretending to be sick, no feigning exhaustion. She came and she called you out so accurately you feared that Hobie might have told her what had happened in the closet. Your chest squeezed and you lost your breath, terrified that she may know.

You scoffed, anxiety swelling within your chest as you pretend to roll the question off your shoulders. “Hobie? Why would I care about Hobie?”

“Everyone knows you can't stand him. And you haven't been the same since we stuck y’all in the closet. Did he say somethin’ to you?” You looked into her eyes for any semblance of your secret and found nothing. You wished you could tell her, your shame, your pleasure, the absolute heaven you felt being in that closet with Hobie. You’d just embarrass yourself.

“No, that's ridiculous. I find him just as endlessly irritating as I always have.” You reach up, tug at your hair softly, and shift your gaze. You were telling on yourself. Fuck, if you didn't agree now, she’d definitely know that there was something up with you and Hobie. “I’ll go, it’s whatever. Just let me get ready.” Your voice was quick, snappy, you were definitely acting suspicious. But you hoped you conceding to going would distract her enough to forget.

It did. Your friends weren't the most aware bunch.

That's how you ended up here, standing in the midst of a true punk party. There was a mosh pit in the front, people inches away from getting punched in the face, starting an all-out brawl. Most were drunk or high off shitty beer and even shittier drugs.

Hobie was on stage performing. You heard his voice before you saw him, the way it echoed in your ears and left you delirious. Riri dragged you into the crowd, just far away from the mosh pit to not get trampled over, and you saw him. His dark skin glistening in a thin layer of sweat, fingers meticulously strumming at his guitar, lips pressed against the mesh of the microphone as if he were attempting to kiss it like he kissed you.

He wore a plaid skirt, his muscle shirt was just cropped enough to reveal the scant of his abdomen and the hair on his slender naval. You saw him and all you could think about was how you wanted to touch him. You wanted his black-painted lips on your neck, wanted to bury your fingers in the new growth of his hair, wanted your cock in his mouth once again and maybe to put his in yours. 

The thoughts terrified you but what frightened you even more was that when you came to, Hobie was looking at you. Smug, careless, beautiful, like he knew just what you were thinking about and he was thinking the very same thing.

Face hot and embarrassed over being caught, you averted your gaze. You turned on your heels and swiftly left Riri to make your way to the bar. You needed a drink, or five, so that maybe your nausea could be attributed to something worthwhile. But no matter how far from the stage you found yourself, Hobie’s voice was still in your ear, teasing your senses, tempting your body. You felt hot and parched. 

“Give me the strongest you have.” You asked the bartender and pressed your face into your hands.

Hobie played three of his songs before his time was over, the entire time you watched from the corner of your eye. Watched the way he swayed, jumped, wrecked the stage, a force to be reckoned with. You watched him and his bandmates, your friends, walk backstage and felt relief. You wouldn’t have to hear his voice everywhere you went. You hadn’t considered that meant that they would all gravitate over to you to have a chat over where you’ve been for nearly a month now.

They came over with Riri, the unknowing traitor, Hobie standing taller than everyone else in the back. They hugged you one by one, slapped your back, kissed your cheeks, told you they were happy you finally agreed to hang. You would have loved to see them if Hobie hadn’t tossed his arm over your shoulder and pulled you into him. 

He smelled like musk and faint, fragrant cologne, your nose pressed to the side of his chest. You look up from where you sat on your barstool only to find him already smiling broadly down at you. “Well, well, look who decided to grace us with they presence. Miss me, sunshine?” He was so smug, so proud. If only you could kiss that look from his stupid face and leave him breathless for once instead of the other way around.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him, shrugging his arm from your shoulders. “Don’t get so full of yourself.” You downed the rest of your drink and requested another one. Hobie came, sat on the stool beside you, and told the barkeep to add all your drinks to his tab.

“Ya been avoidin’ me, sunshine?” Hobie only really seemed interested in talking to you. The others chatted aimlessly amongst themselves. They didn’t seem to notice the way Hobie’s eyes glazed over you, the way his smile seemed a little different when it was directed at you. They also didn’t notice the way he placed his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles into your flesh, the way his digits fingered the rips at your jeans.

“Whyever would I be avoiding you, Hobie?” You grabbed his hand to stop his gentle assault on your thigh and he took the opportunity to lace his fingers in with yours.

“I don’ know. Why are you avoidin’ me?” His hand was hot and rough with callouses. If only he’d touch you a little more. Slide his hand up your arm, brush over your neck. You could feel your body growing warmer by the moment. You couldn’t be trusted with him, couldn’t trust yourself for that matter.

You tore your hand from his. “You know exactly why. I hate it when people play dumb.”

“Jus’ add i’ to the long list of all the reasons ya hate me.”

Oh, if only it were so easy to hate. You’d hate him till the day he died. You’d hate him beyond the grave. You’d hate him until the world combusted into flames and everyone burned with it. But it wasn’t so easy. It was actually quite hard to hate someone you longed so carnally for. If you could rid yourself of him for good, you would in a heartbeat.

Hobie ordered himself a nice large glass of beer and leaned in. “Was i’ so bad, what we did? Ya seemed to enjoy i’ in the moment.”

Your eyes grew wide, glancing about to ensure your friends hadn’t heard him.

Hobie scoffed. “Please, too loud in here. They all wrapped up in ‘emselves to pay attention t’us. Look here, sunshine.” He reached out and gently grasped your chin to make you look at him. His touch was like fire all throughout your body. Looking him in the eyes lit something in the pit of your stomach. "Ya look good t'nigh'."

His drink came and he took a sip of the froth at the top while looking at you, his gaze all affectionate and tender. The way one lover would look at another. He didn’t even have to touch you to get you riled up because you both knew him looking at you through his lashes like that was just the way he looked at you when he kissed the tip of your cock.

You needed air. It was suddenly so stuffy where you were, you felt like you were suffocating. The ache of your cock made your jeans tighten. You felt nauseous.

You must have looked crazy standing so abruptly. Your friends attempted to call your name as you pushed your way through them and searched wildly for the nearest exit. The best you could find was a bathroom sign. That would have to work.

The bathroom was grimy and covered in graffiti. Your boots suck to the floor when you walked and you’re sure you could see a leftover powdery substance on the side of the sink. You turned on the water and cupped your hands beneath it to gather some and splash it on your face. 

Nothing between you and Hobie had to change. If he would simply stop provoking you, you could ignore everything else. The way your eyes lingered on his exposed body, the way his lingered on yours, the memory of your hand wrapped around his cock, stroking till he came on your tummy, the way you came in his mouth and he drank it all up.

You pressed your hand against the bulge in your jeans and moaned softly at the pressure. Then there was a knock at the door, startling you out of your momentary pleasure and reminding you that you were indeed in a public restroom.

“Oi, sunshine! Ya alrigh”?” Hobie. He just simply couldn’t let you have a moment of reprieve. Readjusting yourself in your pants so it's not so noticeable, you opened the door only to be met with Hobie leaning against the frame. He looked at you, questioning, before inviting himself right in. “Le’s talk.”

“Talk? You wanna talk?” You slammed the door shut and locked the door behind the two of you out of instinct. “We have nothing to talk about, Hobie. Absolutely nothing.” Your demeanor was cold, your lip curled. It all belied how much you needed him to stop looking at you that way. With heavy eyes and a touch of a smirk on his lips.

Hobie quirked a pierced brow at you. “Who’s playin’ dumb now? Ya tink I ‘aven’t noticed how you’ve been actin’? Yer meaner than usual.” He approached you. Slowly. He looked at you, watched to stand your ground. “God, yer down bad, aren’cha?”

Your face was hot, cock hard in your pants. You said not a word. Let him get close, really close, leaning into you while staring into your eyes.

“It's okay, though. I like ya mean.”

You grabbed him by the shirt, hands tight in the fabric as you turned him around and pushed him against the wall. “You think this is fucking funny, huh?” You shook him a little, pressed his thin body to the door, your eyes aflame with passion and anger. Hobie just looked at you, smiling, with his hands up as if to surrender to you, his eyes heavy with seduction.

You hated that look, so cocky and proud, fucking gorgeous. 

You were rough when you kissed him. You knew you couldn't be trusted with yourself or with him. You knew it would all lead to this. And God if it didn't feel good. His lips were so soft, sweet, a little salty from his sweat. You held his shirt a little tighter, pulled him a little closer and his hands settled on your hips.

You let him slide his tongue into your mouth, let him slide his hands up and down the length of your body, slide beneath your shirt. His thumbs looked into your pants and tucked his knee between your legs to press against the growing bulge in your pants.

Just like that, he took control of you. You melted into him, licked into his mouth as you moaned, rutting yourself against his knee. You were desperate, panting, needy. You showed all your cards just as they were dealt and now you had nothing but an empty hand and a hard cock.

“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout'cha.” Hobie panted into your mouth, hands pawing at you. Your kiss was sloppy, filled with swapped saliva and sticky tongue. “Missed ya. Looks like ya missed me too.” He chuckled softly as you licked his bottom lip, sighing with pleasure when he pressed his knee harder into you.

You should stop this. You should be stopping yourself. But you simply couldn't control yourself and you didn't know if that said more about you or about him. You were insatiable. You were angry. You were horny out of your mind. 

Hobie let you suck on his lip and tongue, chuckling the whole time. It made you stop, your hands tightening up in his shirt. “Is something funny?” You pushed him against the wall harder, your body pressed against his, your aching cock against his knee. You tried to play tough, your face firming up, but Hobie already witnessed how desperately you've been wanting him this entire time.

Hobie sighed softly, looking at you, smiling broadly. “Nah, nah, ‘m laughin’ ‘cause ya definitely like me, sunshine. Just as much as I like you.” He leaned in, pressed his lips to yours, and kissed you softly. Lips latching, tongue licking, teeth nipping, you didn't resist him as much as you thought you would. You hadn't imagined for it to feel so good the second time around.

“Lemme help ya out, sunshine.” Hobie pressed his knee harder into your crotch and you crumbled, panting into his mouth with your eyes squeezed shut. One of your hands unballed itself from his shirt and found itself settled against the apple of his throat, pressing and squeezing while you humped his leg into oblivion.

The friction was delicious. The pressing and grinding with his tongue down your throat left you a little delirious. You were lightheaded and feared you might faint if he kept holding your waist like he was, moving your hips for you, pressing you harder.

“Keep goin’, pretty boy. Ya got i'.” Hobie crooned into your mouth as your lips fiended for another kiss, a lick, something, anything to satiate the burning in your chest, the fire all over. His fingers sunk into the meat of your thighs with his soft grip that meant to gently coax you towards your climax.

How embarrassing. To cum in your jeans just from humping a leg. But God, if this didn't feel good, if Hobie wasn't doing you so right. You pushed him harder against the wall, squeezed his throat a little tighter as you ground yourself into him.

Your free hand slid down his front and beneath his skirt to feel the bulge of his erection through his underwear. You weighed him in the palm of your hand, clumsy massaging and fondling. You didn't know how to handle him. Attempting to conjure up the way you touched him the last time you two felt each other, you rubbed him, felt the wet patch where precum leaked and soaked into the fabric of his underwear and stroked his tip.

Hobie shuddered, one that rattled through his entire body. He gripped you harder, bruising your hips and thighs and he drove you further into his knee and left you shivering. You squeezed him in your palm and he moaned.

It was pathetic how easy it was to forget how much you wanted to hate him. Your brain was foggy with pleasure and need. Your hands groped at each other with a fiendish desire. Hobie nipped at your bottom lip. “Fuck, jus’ like tha’.”

You were so close. Your lips broke apart from his with a string of saliva connecting the two of you. Your head felt back, exposing the supple flesh of your throat which Hobie greedily attacked with lips and teeth and tongue. “Gonna cum f’me? Hmm, sunshine? Go ‘head ‘n make a mess f’me.”

You whined, your body rocking back and forth with the waves of your orgasm. You hadn't cum in your pants since you were a teen and never before because of another man. You felt as though you should be humiliated but you were so wrapped up in Hobie's sweet scent and the way he moaned into your neck as you pressed your hand into him and felt his cock twitch in your hold.

You rubbed him harder, faster, determined to get him to come undone the way he had your world falling apart. Hobie chuckled against your throat. “Tryna get me t’cum, pretty boy?” His lips peppered kisses to your lovely throat. You nodded, your hand stroking his throat with your thumb. “Give it to me, please.” Oh how the mighty fall.

Hobie faltered a bit when you squeezed his balls in your hand, whining into you like a puppy. “Beg.” He sighed softly against your neck. “Beg fo i'.”

"Please, please. Shit, Hobie, give it to me " Overstimulated, his knee still pressed into the wet spot in your sticky jeans, your hips still rutting into the mess you’ve made of yourself, you jerked him off through his underwear, stroking it rapid, blundering twists of your wrist. Hobie liked how inexperienced you seemed, he found it amusing how hard you tried to please him.

You knew he was just on the edge of an orgasm by the way his moan lowered an octave. He sang for you like he sang on stage, your own private show. His hands gripped you with an impossible strength, tongue lavishing over your throat. He nosed at the curve of your jaw and moaned into your ear as he came in your hand, leaking out into the cotton of his underwear.

You were left panting, stroking at each other in tender touches. You were uncharacteristically affectionate, desperate for it. You needed his hands, his lips, his soft chuckles, his pretty smile. God, you were losing it.

“Fuck-” You pulled away from Hobie, your entire body coiling away from him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” It all came back to you like a tsunami. How did you let this happen? Again no less. What in the world were you thinking? What the hell has he done to you?

“Sunshine, calm down. It's okay.” Hobie reached out for you but you almost fell over trying to get away from him. Your hands gripped the sink for stability and in hopes to ground yourself in reality. “No, no, it’s not okay, Hobie! We need to stop this.”

“Whatever we have goin’ on between us-”

“There's nothing going on between us,” you insisted. “There should be nothing going on between us.” Hobie scoffed at you, crossing his arms over his chest. “Would’ja get ova y’self? We didn' make each other cum by accident. This keeps happenin’ fo’ a reason. We like each other.” He motioned between the two of you, his eyes softening.

“I can't do this, Hobie. I can't give you what you want.” You rushed past him and escaped out of the bathroom door before Hobie had a chance to catch you. It was a mistake to come out. You should have left the moment Hobie touched you. 

It was just your luck to run into Riri on the way out the door. You bumped into her just as you neared the exit. She had whipped around, ready to let you have it until she saw that it was you and worse, when she saw the tears streaming down your face. As if this night couldn't get even more embarrassing.

You said nothing to her. You simply pushed past her and left the bar with her calling after you. Hobie approached behind her, watching you leave with sulken shoulders and smudged makeup.

“Shit.”

[opal-owl-flight]

I'm going to pretend that your 3 and 4 were too busy/not mature enough at the time to be in love/develop those feelings back before 4 left.

They were just coworkers having fun, being more than coworkers (friends!), and making memories.

But when 4 came back, those feelings became so much more complex. And things only got worse and harder to understand as 4 and 3's relationship as coworkers and friends became strained, between 3's desire for 4 to surpass them and 4's self-loathing.

3's attempt at fixing things only made things worse, as those feelings became love for a friend, someone important, but not a romantic kind JUST yet. 4 was someone they couldn't bear losing. In their attempts to protect them, they invalidated 4's own feelings (which I'm pretty sure you covered), which resulted in the fight.

I think it would be safe to say that it was when 3 realized how much of the problem they'd inadvertently contributed to, that they also began to love 4 more than as a friend. But it's a bit hard to notice that when you're getting your face mashed up.

Post hospital stay, 3 finally realized that love and became super gay for 4, as seen by the inner 3 reactions.

As for 4's journey, it was very similar in that it wasn't until they were smashing 3's face in that they realized, in those moments with their hands covered in 3's blood, in the moments that they spent with them in the hospital, that some of their own feelings might be turning to love.

Of course, the main feeling during the fight was anger and then horror, but shit happens.

Sorry for the way too long ask, but I've loved your 4 and 3 comics (8 and 4 were super emotional as well, and I greatly enjoyed those ones) and just had to share! ^^;;

You got a lot of it right! Though, the gay doesnt come til after Project Piranesi/Oceanic Labyrinth -- 3's "I love you" in Break is a platonic one, a feeling they held ever since they met, and a feeling that never went away even when they parted.

The relationship strained bc 4 went off and experienced hell in college. She developed a self loathing, and took a break from there. SHe hoped that 3 would be able to fix the issue bc hey...they always know what to do with her (her thought here is "Make me a perfect agent, continue what youve been doing before")... but that didnt happen.

3, now the Captain, taken off the field and directly responsible for the lives of the agents, has become more battle hardened and strict in their duties. They drill the agents to make sure they dont suffer what they did (falling to Tartar specifically), done out of a place of care and love. Theyre scared, really, they feel all this responsibility, add the fact that they dont like acknowledging that they may not be able to save everyone like they usually do before (due to their disability).

They heard 4s pleas and tried to turn her to what she wants. Maybe more. They knew shed surpass them. Its inevitable.

They only wanted her to be the best self she can be. Protect her -- they finally got her back, theyre not losing her again -- even if their methods only served to strain their friendship further.

A huge misunderstanding of 3s motives leads to bitterness from 4. They were her best friend. Now theyre...just like everyone else in college. Disappointed in her (no theyre not). She strived to be whatever perfection they wanted from her. Maybe if she got there, shed stop hating herself. If she got there, maybe theyd love her again (they always did, if...not expressed properly).

Leads to the duel after 3 forced a Leave on her, yada yada.... they make up for lost time after, hanging out as friends again until 4 is confident/feels supported enough to return to agent duties.

In those further duties, 4 starts growing. Finally growing in the right direction. Her confidence swelling to be almost the same as before she went to college (but not completely). I think tje romantic feelings start here? Not sure yet. But its def after time spent together as pals and supporting each other through several of their internal struggles (4 and her self-image, 3 and their limitations)

The Captain's right hand.

The confession likely happens after 4 saves 3 from some situation in Project Piranesi! Consider it a knight saving her monarch from danger.

Thank you sm for the ask! Im glad I managed to get most of my points across in the comics wehe

[mr2swap]

Fun day at the beach by ZOLTAR

-This is better than I thought! Damn, my stepbrother really looks angry! - I took the can of beer to my mouth and drank it completely, after drinking the cocktail I released a stinky and loud burp from my mouth -mmm strawberries?- it made me feel dizzy but in a good mood, I thought it would be a shitty day when my older brother dragged me to the beach with him and his girlfriend after my stepdad gave him $100 to get rid of me for a while and spend his anniversary alone with his new wife, my mom.

Who the hell knew that the old mechanical genius on the beach really was magical? When we get out of the car and park near the beach at an old restaurant bar, I have to admit that her girl is really cute, but my stepbrother is a jerk, she deserves better, her and my mother.

-Listen little brother we are going to be here a long time so take 5 dollars and get lost, I don't want you to bother us or be a pain in the ass, see you in a few hours little brother-

My new stepbrother always treated me like this ever since mom married that idiot my life has been hell, I went into the restaurant and ordered a coke, there wasn't much else to do but play a bit of the dusty old video games that were on the restaurant, really none of them interested me except one, it was an old-fashioned mechanical genius, as soon as I stood in front of him his eyes lit up, and he began to move and talk.

-My name is Zoltar and I will make your dreams come true!-This thing is great, it's like…retro! I really didn't think that thing was magical but it was really hot and I was bored.

-Well, if you can give me a fun day at the beach for 25 cents, it's a deal- I put a coin into the device and his eyes lit up with a red glow, he began to recite some strange words while making robotic movements with his fingers, in a simple blink my wish came true although not in the way I expected.

I was no longer in that restaurant or in my body, I was in the hot and muscular body of my stepbrother, I recognized my brother's tiny swimsuit as well as the necklace that was now around my neck. I put my hands on my bulging pecs trying to figure out if I was dreaming or hallucinating from the heat, then I lowered my hands playing with my long hard fingers caressing my rock abs.

And of course I got my hands on my new thick cock, I'm not gay, or so I think... but when you see this cock that is now in my hands every morning while my brother walks around my house with just a pair of boxers it is impossible not to want to touch it.

After a couple of minutes I saw my old body glaring at me totally furious from afar and from my little teenage body…hey I have an idea, what if I wish my stepfather away from my mother would I end up in his body? I guess I have a lot of time to figure it out and 95 bucks, well I have to admit I'm really having fun now.

Hey! You can support me to continue creating stories, see similar stories on my patreon, you can also join my discord if you are interested in role-playing about bodyswap, possession and transformation, m2m!

[cygninae]

Hi! 👋 Could you please do 20 and 23 for the Quagmire triplets for the character ask game? :)

Hi Ven ! Sure !!

20 (Weird headcanon)

Quigley

i have literally SO many headcanons for Quigley but I'll try and hold back and only share a few. (I'll refer to Quigley with they pronouns because that is my headcanon !)

if they had been raised in the 2000s, would absolutely have thomas the tank engine or cars bedsheets. so embarrassing

couldn't take serious photos, always had to be pulling a face or doing bunny ears or something

tried to pierce their ears with a safety pin and lemon (did not go well.)

disastrous handwriting. Like incomprehensible.

Isadora

gay awakening was Veronia Lake in I Married A Witch (dir. René Clair)

went through a goth phase (after discovering Mary Shelley and Edgar Allen Poe) where she attempted to dye all of her clothes black. They came out brown.

Duncan

tried to pull a prank on Carmelita Spats by balancing a bucket of water on a doorframe and have her walk through, getting drenched. Forgot to let himself out of the room first and drenched himself.

obsessed with lava lamps

23 (Future headcanon)

Quigley

felt so betrayed by Jacques leaving, that they completely turned away from VFD. Lost a lot of their love for cartography and it took a long time for it to come back. They began to prefer sketching landscapes and people they loved.

discovered David Bowie (this depends on your theory of when ASOUE is set) and he changed their life. Became obsessed with Ziggy Stardust and embraced gender fluidity through makeup, piercings, shiny clothes, etc. learnt to love themself :)

finally got that ear piercing they had botched when they were younger.

actually became really good friends with Fiona. She taught them that it was okay to view the world with more criticism. They got along and were actually really similar. Bickered a lot.

moved to a big city with Duncan and Isadora and got really into the world of music, art, freedom, self-expression. They probably joined a band at some point, no doubt.

Isadora

in the big city, joined a sapphic society and made friends who loved poetry (and girls).

got her poetry published in the paper on multiple occasions, but anonymously. She wanted to spread the beauty of poetry without getting attention for it.

opened up to the idea of writing prose too, and learnt that she was really talented in that area, too, joining writing societies and book clubs and learning so much more about literature. it gave her the opportunity to express herself in more ways than one.

her and Klaus (if reunited) absolutely became an unstoppable best friend duo. They were practically unseperable, and he was in a lot of the same book clubs with her. He worked at one of their local libraries and let her sneak in the back to write in the staff room while he ate his lunch or read on his break.

Duncan

aside from writing journalism, he actually got really into photojournalism. He loved the peace of the dark room and the process of developing photos. He got into the habit of photographing his friends and siblings to immortalise them and kept his favourite pictures in his shirt pocket.

got an internship at a newspaper (NOT the daily punctillio, lol) and had a niche in foreign correspondence, (with the rise in use of the telephone) and he made so many connections across the world. Learning about so many cultures gave him a sense of freedom after feeling so trapped post the death of his parents.

and a dunklaus headcanon, since I can't hold back: after he and Klaus started dating, he would very occasionally sneak coded messages into the newspaper, just sappy stuff saying he missed him and hoped he was having a great day :)

interviewed Lemony Snicket once without knowing it was him.

This was so much fun !! Thanks so much for asking :)

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

So many things have been written already, but since I can't stop thinking about it, I need to write some stuff down. Or as @twig-tea would say #typed so that I can stop thinking it.

We could talk all day long about what the show intended to say or not, what the show intended to portray and what message was actually all of it about.

But, as with most things, we will never know for sure. And you know what? It doesn't matter.

Because when you make anything for others to watch, as soon as the product leaves your hands, you give up any control you have over how it is perceived. That's, more often than not, the hardest part in creating anything. You lose all control over the thing, and all you can do is hope that what you wanted to do, was what people wanted to see, and what you wanted to say, was what people heard.

Sometimes these two things don't match up.

So, I won't speculate any more about what Jojo and co. wanted to say with this, or what they wanted the take away to be.

I'm fan of Jojo. Not in the way of, everything he's done was perfect, but I adore Gay Ok, I completely enjoyed 3wbf and warp effect surprised me weekly in a good way. I was happy. I was content. And maybe that set my expectations too high, because my biggest feeling about ofts finale is disappointment.

Before anything else, I fully admit by biases influenced my viewing of some things, but that is unavoidable.

I started this show relating a bit too much to some of the characters and that made it hard for me in the beginning. Specially when you have people talk about this characters in such a way that, at times, legitimately made me feel bad about myself. So basically I had to create a barrier. And look at this show in a more critical way. I still felt emotionally connected to the chars, but in a different way. And with that critical view came a whole set of new problems.

Whatever the direction the show was heading in the beginning, got completely lost somewhere in the middle. And I'm strictly talking about the writing now. The show lost all coherence in character development and any type of episodic theme went out the window.

I’ll start just referencing the frame works. (very well documented by @slayerkitty) They started as some sort of commentary that we could point to and say, that’s what they’re trying to say about this, that's the lesson this week. That got abandoned.

As I’ve written before, when the show started and we were introduced to the characters, we were led to believe that Boston, Ray, Mew and Cheum were the mains and where going to have equal weight throughout the show. That disappeared when Cheum did. It turns out it wasn’t that way after all. And as we started to see couples forming, or at least coupling happening, we knew who the mains were again. Because we got some (Top not included) of their backstories and povs.

The fear crept in here, that, because it’s gmmtv, we were heading to shipper land and all was but an illusion. But still the in p’jojo we trust was strong so we collectively, said to ourselves – It can’t be that. This is the messy show, with the messy gays, this is Jojo! And at least for me, that’s where it all began to fall apart. Genuine character growth got substituted for easy conflict, depth of character got substituted by fluffy couple moments that seemed out of place. [That is also why the beginning of Top/Mew was so divisive for so many people. Because, it could be cute in any other show, but it couldn’t be here. Because once again - This is the messy show, with the messy gays, this is Jojo! ] We got no accountability for most actions, no genuine character growth for most characters and in the end, nothing feels earned. And personally, it pisses me of when chars don’t get what they deserve, and worst, somehow end up on top, or thinking they are on top, or are morally superior.

But, even if that didn’t make me angry, it’s lazy writing. It’s conflict for conflict sake, it’s new storylines/characters that bring excitement but no follow through. it’s trauma as the easiest way to give a character depth (which I hate with a passion), it’s moral lessons that have absolutely no place here (This is the messy show, with the messy gays, this is Jojo! ) and worst of all it’s wasted potential. I might write more about this later, or on rewatch, but for today this is what I needed to type.

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

[cryptidclaw]

Shriketail! Aka. Longtail in my AU! I've made a Longtail design before but I changed stuff about him in my au, aaaannd I just wanted to update it bec I wasn't completely pleased with it!

I gave him one floppy ear and blue eyes from his mom Downnose, and I made him look more like Down overall. I made his brown a bit paler and gave him more white to reference Down as well, plus I think it looks better. 

reblog with image descriptions

Info about him in my au below! warning it is very long (as usual lolol) v

-First off he is trans masc and Gay! He eventually ends up mates with Firestar and he is best friends/ in a queer platonic relationship with Sandstorm who is Firestar’s other mate! 

-his mother is Downnose! Down had a short affair with a kittypet, which resulted in Shrike!

-Down was extremely exited to be a mom, despite the fact that it would definitely cause some questions ... but I think that Shrike's kittypet parent (who was the one to birth him since Down is trans) didn't want a kid like Down did, and had just been enjoying a dumb affair, so they were perfectly happy with letting Down raise Shrike in ThunderClan.

-Down took Shrike to ThunderClan once he was weaned. Her showing up with a child caused a lot of drama, but Downnose refused to say who the parent was stating "I am a molly and this is my kit, Queens don't have to say who the other parent is, and that should be no different for me." The clan begrudgingly moved past it bec they knew how stubborn Downnose was and that she would not budge.

-Down looooved raising her kit, and absolutely adored Shrike, and after a while most of the clan just tried to ignore the mystery of where he came from. Though the main theory was that he was from that kittypet Down was always caught talking to (which was correct)

-when Shrike became an apprentice things went downhill, Darkstripe was his mentor and was a strong follower of "outsider bad, kittypet weak" and with all the rumors about Shrike being half kittypet, Dark was harsh on him and was determined to train the kittypet out of him. As a result Shrike became very insecure, and that took its from as anger, he chose to conform to Dark (and Tigerclaw)'s ways of thinking to prove himself and to keep himself separate from the strong possibility of his kittypet blood.

-during this time he grew apart from his mother, feeling anger and resentment towards her for having a kit with a cat outside the clans. This hurt Down a lot and she tried to get closer to her son again, but that just pissed him off more.

-he eventually became a warrior, and soon after Rusty, soon to be Firepaw, was taken to ThunderClan. All of his resentment toward kittypets caused him to start his fight with Fire, and he was only more angered when he lost that fight.

-and so began his animosity towards Fire, caused by his indoctrination to Tiger and Dark's xenophobic beliefs as well as his internalized hatred for his kittypet blood.

-over time however, Shrike started to grow to like and respect Fire, this was a very slow process, and he refused to admit it to himself or others. This process was helped by his mom constantly telling him off for being an asshole though.

-after Tiger was revealed to be a traitor, it really started to hit Shrike that maybe the things he was taught weren't something he should be believing. He stopped hanging around Dark as much and even started speaking to his mother more.

-and once Dark was revealed to be a traitor too? Shriketail came to terms with the fact that he had been wrong and an asshole, and really he always knew that deep down, he was just insecure. 

-after Swiftpaw’s death, Shrike started to grow closer to Fireheart. Fire had apologized to Shrike, stating that it was his fault that Swift had died, because he had been unable to convince Bluestar to make him a warrior. But Shrike told him he was being dumb and that Fire had done everything he could. 

-After this Shrike admitted to Fire that he didn't hate him at all, and apologized for how he had acted in the past. Fire forgave him, and they started hanging out as friends, and Shrike took it upon himself to tell others off if they said something rude to Fire, or chose to undermine his commands. 

-Shrike also became besties with Sandstorm, both having similar personalities (and they both could bond over their crushes on Fireheart) 

-Shrike was also close to his mother again, apologizing for how he had acted, and wanting to make up for the time he had been an ass to her. Down was just happy to have her baby back, though she would be sure to keep knocking sense into him if he ever acted stupid. 

-After the battle at the end of the first arc, Shrike was deeply wounded in the eyes by another cat, and would later completely lose his eyesight due to infection. 

-During this time Fire admitted his feelings for Shrike and they became mates, Fire is poly in this au, and is mates with both Sand and Shrike. 

-It was extremally hard for Shrike at first after being blinded, he had to give up his apprentice, since he was going to have to recover for a long while, he had and extremely hard time talking to his mother at first since Down is deaf, and he was unsure if he could ever be a warrior again. 

-But Shriketail’s support system came to help him! Down was determined to talk to Shrike despite their barriers, she learned how to better her speech, so they could understand each other. Down along with Fireheart and Sandstorm were determined to help Shrike learn to be a warrior again, and after a while Shrike was able to be just as good of a warrior as ever!

-Shrike helped raise Squirrelflight and Leafpool being like another parent to them, and it is often joked that it was the combination of having BOTH Sandstorm and Shriketail as parents that caused her to have that strong snarky, stubborn personality, and it doesn't help that her dad Fire is just as stubborn! 

-Shrike would later train Jaypaw, though Jay would choose to be a medicine cat, right before his warrior ceremony. Shrike and Jay have a very close relationship, Shrike basically being Jay’s grandfather, and them both having similar snarky personalities and both bonding over being blind. 

[ravenirene]

Idk who needs to hear this but Mcu buckys backstory is NOT based off of arnie roth. His backstory is based off his ultimate universe counterpart. A lot of the mcu is based of the ultimates: sam being military whil 616sam being a social worker, clint with laura barton and their 3 kid and is a shield operative while 616clint married bobbi morse and has no kid and never worked for shield, samuel l. jackson Nicky fury, etc. Ultimate universe bucky is steves childhood friend.

And secondly 616 bucky is caps kid sidekick, the mcu just didn't want to put a child soldier in their all American propaganda movie hence why rebel wasn't part of the howling commandos in the mcu either because he was a kid. As u can see in this tweet they changed it for that reason.

Thirdly even if he was based off of arnie, removing a gay character doesn't automatically make a different character gay. although i would love if bucky was canon queer but that's just not how it works.

Also what I realize about these bucky is arnie roth truthers is that a lot of u don't care about arnie or the fact he was erased from the mcu u guys just want "proof" for your headcanon/ship. Which there's no problem with having headcanons, if u hc bucky as gay and/or jewish that perfectly fine and valid but then ppl spread false info that he's suppose to be that when it's simply just not true. I don't ever see ppl bring up arnie unless it about bucky. Also steve and arnies dynamic itself never came off as anything other than friends or brothers

I don't ever see these bucky is arnie roth truthers ever talk about how thor:ragnarok replaced thors and lokis actual long lost older sister, angela, who is a canon lesbian and is dating a transwoman, with lokis daughter, hela, who has only shown attraction towards men in canon.(hela is currently married to a woman but they married out of business not out of love and it happened after the movie came out)

nor do I see them talk about in ca:tfa other than arnie roth there was also brian falsworth. In ca:tfa u can see James Montgomery falsworth, more commonly known as union jack, in the mcu he's part of the howling commandos. The thing is he's the union jack of ww1 while his son and daughter fights alongside captain America in ww2. His son Brian falsworth has been canonically gay since 2002 and was dating roger aubrey, destroyer, until he died. There's no reason why his dad was deaged and was part of the howling commandos instead of him for the reason other than he was gay because Brian shows up more in comics than his dad, u can't know about Monty falsworth without knowing about Brian

I feel like y'all don't actually care when an actual gay character gets replaced but instead make up lies about characters that u want to be gay instead. Like when eternals came out and phastos and his husband where said to be the first gay characters in the mcu and instead of complaining about loki, valkyrie, starlord, ayo, korg. Who were(at least at the time) not confirmed canon queer in the mcu despite being so in the comics, u guys complained about steve/bucky not being canon queer despite neither ever canonically showing interest in the same gender in mcu or comics because u mixed up canon and fanon/your headcanon.

Again headcanoning bucky and gay and/or jewish and shipping mcu stucky is completely fine, there's nothing wrong with it but bucky being based on arnie roth is just simply not true.

[whetstonefires]

💞 👀 for the fic asks?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

Ah. Well, that obviously evolves as you go, doesn't it? At the moment...it might actually be Lan Wangji? In that there's something I find really comforting about writing him. His perspective is deliberately just opaque enough to the reader to give the fanfic writer room to play around, but he's got some big clear outlines to stay within and all kinds of canonical internal drama to explore.

I'm not sure I ever really have just one of these but I thought of him first, so.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I am so very trapped in the mdzs gyre, okay, the wip I've been having the most momentum on recently that isn't an ongoing and isn't original is this slightly goofy but also kind of ambitious AU where I made up an excuse for the book to open with Wei Wuxian getting summoned into a body that looks like his own, as per cql, but Mo Xuanyu survives the process and is a separate guy.

Because I was like, I have rarely seen Mo Xuanyu explored at his adult age and in his original context (such that all the limited information available can be applied) and never interacting with Wei Wuxian. Because killing him is how you get Wei Wuxian.

(Ofc this is also true of the Shen Qingqius and Shen Jiu gets to strut his stuff in fanfic all the time, because his presence/absence within the narrative builds him up within canon and he's got a presence in the extras to work with, plus the setup of svsss is just friendlier to bullshit, asspulls, alternate universes, etc. Mxy is just thoroughly shafted lmao, ty for your generous body donation, please exit existence completely.)

Well, suppose you sidestep that? I put together a mental mock-up for how, and got hooked.

Mo Xuanyu is a very entertaining pov character to work with, and I'm having a lot of fun working with how differently events would unfold if Wei Wuxian came back looking like himself and was immediately saddled with a companion.

Because, you know, so much of the way the romance builds in the book is that Wei Wuxian has lost absolutely everything and is completely alone in the world, and then Lan Wangji basically thrusts himself into his life and won't let go.

Wei Wuxian could have ditched him if he'd really wanted, but since he mostly just thought it was the smart thing to do, and actually he fucking hates being alone for long, making it more inconvenient for him to run off than to stick around was all it took to maintain the proximity long enough for lwj to establish himself as the person wwx could rely on. Is my rough interpretation of where they're at, in the 'pretending to be Mo Xuanyu' period. It's kinda fucked up but not as bad as it looks at a glance.

The presence of actual Mo Xuanyu blows this setup to smithereens, as well as changing other things like Wei Wuxian's travel timing etc, so it's been a fun time figuring out how the emotional beats and relationships slide around without changing anything else about the situation, really.

Plus Mo Xuanyu knows rather more than Wei Wuxian about the current worldstate, but so much less about the personal context of every Sunshot veteran other than Jin Guangyao.

Also Mo Xuanyu is very gay so I'm tormenting him with the presence of beautiful men lmao.

[beautifulblooms]

Let Me Spoil You Darlin’ - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader

Male!Reader, fluffy tooth rotting cavity inducing fluff, the titles a dead give away, because I don't want to acknowledge homophobia rn after dealing with my southern family everyone in Hawkins is chill with the gays, anyways, onto this gay shit

This is a long one so be warned, there’s about 2k words in here, and look at me go 2 posts in one night? I’m on a roll!!

Side note, I am very sorry to anyone who saw the horrific post made earlier on the eddie munson x male reader tag, while I understand the wish to write smut for characters, I do not agree with writing about such dark and traumatizing topics, and especially not posting it publicly, please be cautious scrolling through this tag and be mindful to keep yourselves safe

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Working at Family Video with Steve and Robin wasn’t awful, no the Saturday rush was awful and the most annoying part of this job. However there were a few benefits to working with my best friends, whenever one of us wanted to leave early, the other two would cover them and act like nothing happened. We really only need two of us working in the store to keep it running, three is just a bonus set of hands to restock. One of the best parts about working here was that I got to see a special someone all the time, mainly because he won’t stop bothering me while I’m working. That person being Eddie Munson, the town freak, Dungeon Master of the Hellfire Club, and the keeper of my heart. I’m honestly not sure how it happened. All I know is that one day in the cafeteria Eddie came over to ask me something completely random and all of a sudden I was hanging with the hellfire club and soon enough me and Eddie were together.

“I’m ditching early, you two have fun and don’t cause any trouble!” Steve called as he began to walk out of the back room to leave the store.

“I don’t think so pretty boy, I called dibs on leaving early today, I’ve got a date tonight that I’ve been planning for weeks. You’re staying to close with Robin.” I moved around the front counter quickly and left whatever I was doing there before grabbing Steve’s shoulder.

“Since when did we call dibs? And besides, I’m sure you’ll do just fine waiting until closing and then running off with whoever your date is.” He tried to drop my hand off his shoulder but I just gripped harder, not enough to hurt but enough to make him stop moving.

“Steven Harringon, I have spent three paychecks total for this date, 5 weeks planning it, and I have reservations at 6:30, I’m leaving early and you’re staying here.” He tried using puppy dog eyes to get me to let him go but I was not about to let all this planning go to waste.

“Steve, don't argue with him, just stick around for a bit longer, I’m not that annoying.” Robin had come out from behind a shelf she was organizing.

“You’re supposed to be on my side Robin.” Steve poured slightly.

“Yeah and he’s been taking a lot of time to plan this date.” Sighing the slightly taller man gave in and dropped his bag on the floor.

“Fine, get lost before I change my mind.” Smiling, I hugged him and muttered a thank you before doing the same to Robin. I ran into the back room and grabbed my backpack before sprinting out the door to my car with only a “bye” to the both of them before the door slammed back shut.

“He is really in love with Eddie isn’t he?” Robin muttered to herself in a rhetorical manner.

“Munson is one lucky bastard to have a boyfriend that dedicated to a relationship.” Steve went back to the break room to throw his bag onto the table and get back to work.

Trying to figure out a date that would please me and Eddie wasn’t all that difficult. Now trying to avoid staying in the trailer all night with movies and snacks as a fallback was difficult. It’s not like I hate those date nights, I just wanted to make this one a little special for Eddie, treat him after a VERY rough school year. With all the Satanic propaganda and bs he had to deal with due to Jason and his goons I wanted to make him feel special and super loved.

I had managed to get us reservations at one of the nicest places in town, it was a family owned Italian place downtown which was known to be pricey but delicious. Shortly after all the cult leader claims against Eddie had died down he got a job at the comic store that Dustin and the other Hellfire kids frequented. It let him hang out with some of his best friends and make some money so it was perfect for him. It hadn’t taken long for me to get to the trailer that Eddie and I called home, sure his uncle Wayne still lived there as well but he was asleep most of the day and out working during the night. So in all reality there was only me and Eddie in the trailer regularly.

Hopping out of my car I grabbed the bag from the trunk, quickly opened the door and made my way to the home phone. Without even thinking about the numbers I punched in the number for the comic store. It only rang a couple times before I heard the voice of my favorite person on the other side.

“Hawkins Comics and Collectables, how can I help you?” A smile came across my face even hearing his voice.

“Hey baby,” I could almost hear his gasp of happiness.

“(Y/n)! What are you calling the store for?” He sounded adorable when he was excited.

“When do you get off tonight, I got a reservation for us at 6.” He took a second to respond, definitely checking the clock.

“Um, in like half an hour, about 5 ish. Where are we going for dinner hun?” I knew he wanted to know but I still want to hold a bit of surprise over his head.

“Somewhere nice, when you get home just change into something real nice for me okay?” He let out a sigh of disappointment because I didn’t tell him.

“Fine, I’ll be home soon, don’t do anything stupid.” A small chuckle left my throat.

“Yeah yeah, I love you Munson, don’t get into any trouble.” I can’t wait for tonight.

“Love you too (L/n), I’ll try not to but I’ve got most of Hellfire here so whatever happens, happens.” After he said that I put the phone back into his holder before heading into our room to change.

Fortunately I was able to hang my dress shirt in the bathroom while I showered that morning before work so I didn’t have to iron it now. Taking off my uniform I pulled on a plain white shirt followed by the white dress shirt. I had a pair of black jeans on but I figured I should put on a slightly nicer pair of black slacks considering where we were going. After I finished putting on my belt I leaned down to dig through the closet for a gift box buried under bags and random articles of clothing. Opening it to double check the contents were still there I left out a relieved sigh as the beautiful silver rings I had picked out for Eddie were still there.

“I hope he likes these.” Quietly speaking to myself I closed the box and stood up before putting it onto the nightstand. Sitting down at the small desk we shared for school work before we graduated I snagged a book and began reading to pass some time. Less than 15 minutes had passed before I heard Eddie’s van pull up into the driveway while he fumbled with the keys at the door. I giggled when I heard him finally open it and throw something on the floor before sprinting to our room.

“What’s the rush for? We’ve still got an hour babe.” Setting the book down I turned to look at my clearly frazzled boyfriend.

“Hey! Um, I have to shower and I didn’t want to walk out with sopping wet hair.” He smiled at me from across the room before taking a few strides towards me and leaning down to give me a kiss. It was short but sweet, how did I get so lucky to have him as a boyfriend.

“If I had known I wouldn’t have put my good clothes on yet.” He moved to stand between my legs slightly, making me move my thighs apart.

“If you had joined me we would be 3 hours late to dinner.” Eddie had a point, but I just shook my head and chucked before pulling him down to me by the back of his head for another kiss.

“Finish your shower quick baby boy, I’ve got more than one surprise for you tonight.” A glimmer of hope flashed through his eyes, for what I’m not sure. He very quickly moved from between my legs to the bathroom just down the hall. As soon as I heard the shower running I turned back around to the desk to continue reading my book. It wasn’t too long until I heard the shower stop and Eddie pull the shower curtain back, the walls of his trailer were so thin. Placing the book onto the desk once more I stood up to go grab the small gift box with the rings in it off the nightstand, right as Eddie walks into the bedroom with a towel around his waist and another drying his hair.

“Whatcha got there handsome?” A smile creeped onto my face at the nickname, I thought for a second before responding.

“I know that you really love your rings, especially the bulky silver ones, so a little while ago I went down to the jeweler and asked for a few custom silver rings. And I got them a few days ago, but I wanted to wait before giving them to you, that way you could wear them to our date tonight.” I looked up at him and slowly handed him the box. As soon as he had it in his hands he sat down on the bed and opened it with the utmost care and gentle movements I’ve ever seen from him. He took in a shaky breath before pulling each ring out and looking closely at the details, the hand sculpted silver teeth or the delicately carved eyes. Before I could ask if he liked them he started to cry, tears dripping onto his hands and the rings.

“Wait no, if you don’t like them I can return them, it’s fine Eddie you don’t have to ke-“ Before I had a chance to reassure him, he cut me off.

“No never, don’t return them please, these are the nicest things I’ve ever been given, thank you, thank you so much (y/n), of course I’ll wear these tonight and forever I’m never taking them off.” As soon as he said that he quickly put the rings down before wrapping his arms around me, careful to not bury his face into my white shirt.

“I’m glad you like them baby, I was worried you wouldn’t.” He looked up at me through watery eyes and red cheeks.

“Why would I not like them? Hell I love these things, not as much as I love you but, these rings are the nicest thing I own now, and I will always treasure them, thank you so much babe.” He was trying so hard to calm his crying down, I reached a hand up to his cheek to wipe away a few stray tears.

“Pretty boys aren’t supposed to cry, but you somehow look just as cute when you are.” Moving my head to push our noses against each other for a moment before I brought our lips together in a slow, passionate kiss. We pulled away a couple moments later and just smiled there with our foreheads resting against the other’s.

“I should really get dressed though.” His eyes opened and he looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes.

“Probably, dinner’s in half an hour.” I looked over at the clock on the bedside noting that it was 5:25 and we only had about half an hour to finish getting ready and get there.

“Oh shit shit shit shit! Alright, where's my shirt!” Eddie hopped off the bed and began a panic to find his clothes. If I was any less familiar with his body the sight of him jumping up without a towel would’ve shocked me. In less than 15 minutes Eddie had managed to finish drying his hair, put on his outfit, and pull his hair up into a ponytail to keep it out of the way during dinner.

“Don’t you look handsome in a dress shirt, I can’t wait to rip it off you later.” He slightly shuttered at my words but quickly turned around to run back into the bedroom. He emerged a moment later with the new rings on his fingers, they looked so good on him.

“C’mon, we shouldn’t be late.” He grabbed my car keys before I could and walked out the door.

“You’ll be the death of me one day Munson, one day.” I muttered to myself before I followed him out the door, tonight was gonna be one we’ll never forget.

[klownkoster]

Can I please hear some thoughts about your takes on the main 4?

Just anything on your mind I love hearing your thoughts :>

oooo good ask actually, I've been so focused on developing Dr. Hare and Binary Bard that Black Widow and Captain Crawfish haven't really crossed my mind all that much 🤔 Doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them though! I've just been brain-rotting about Hare and Bard more cause they're my comfort characters

My brain's a little scrambled right now to really go into depth at the moment, but I'll give you a few heacanons for each!

Dr. Hare ~ Autistic/has ADHD, or heck even both, and loves to info-dump about his interests to anyone willing to listen,, I'm just projecting at this point ~ Has fants(fur pants), his fur is very soft <3 Sucks in the summer, though ~ His little rabbit tail wags when he's really happy or excited about something, or info-dumping about something he's really passionate about 🥺 ~ He's envious of his pre-villain self, he wished he could go back to that young naïve version of himself, way back before the harshness of reality had a chance to crush him like it did and caused his villain totem to develop. Though at the same time, he wonders if that version of himself would hate him for who he's become, and if he would even want to associate himself with him in his current state. ~ What happened to him wasn't an accident

Binary Bard ~ I headcanon him as a masc-aligned nonbinary guy, he/they pronouns but he's cool with just he/him or they/them. I, personally, just call them what I see him as in the moment like I do with myself and my own OC's with pronoun sets like that ~ Speaks in binary to really aggravate others sometimes, just for the sake of being cryptic, or sometimes to say something he doesn't want to say directly. Luckily for him, the other three are accustomed to this and have learned how to translate it by now. ~ Knowing the things he did while under the influence of his villain totem has left him with sleeping issues, often laying awake at night feeling guilty and wondering what he could have done differently. ~ During his time controlled by the totem, it had altered his personality entirely, essentially turning him into the complete opposite of the calm inventor that usually kept too himself, he hates the person that totem turned him into. He especially hates what it made him do too his loved ones.

Black Widow ~ Black Widow and Betty Jetty are absolutely dating. Power lesbians. ~ I headcanon she became Black Widow because throughout her entire life her artistic talents were always pushed aside and belittled ever since childhood. Beautiful landscapes and still-lives eventually turned into warped portraits of herself when her totem came about, and she sought out to make the world see and recognize her talent. ~ *Rubs my gay little hands* Transfem Black Widow ~ After her totem was destroyed, she almost didn't know how to adjust to domestic life, it even scared her a bit, but with the help of her little ex-villain friend group they all learned to adjust and reflect on themselves together, which helped ease her fears. Now she's essentially like the group "mama bear" and "cool aunt" both wrapped in one.

Captain Crawfish ~ His totem came about after a previous crew he was captain of was lost at sea after a rival crew from Skullduggery sunk his ship. Survivors guilt and anger spawning both his totem and his hatred for Skullduggery, wanting to steal every bit of treasure they have like they stole his crew from him, whom he treasured as his own family. This eventually turned to stealing whatever treasure he could get his hands on, with it temporarily filling that void his fallen crew left behind, and when that feeling would wear off he'd set off for the next set of treasures in a desperate attempt to fill that void again, and that cycle would continue. ~ After his totems destruction, it took him a long while before he felt comfortable enough to return to the seas, still feeling awful about his lost crew and fearing another crew would be taken from him if he started sailing again. But, like mentioned in Black Widow's section, he and the others all learned to cope together and he eventually did return to sailing. ~ He's honestly rather protective of the other three, them being the only ones he's felt particularly close too since his first crewmates. He'll never admit it out loud, but he doesn't want to lose them like he did his crew.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Let's Love Him, Together

Words: 2,321

Character: Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin

Pairings: Kakagai and GaiRin

Back home the palace garden is giant.

There’s a huge pond in the center with a maple tree towering so high that Rin had once believed her mother's tall tales of it reaching all the way up into the clouds. All types of flowers grew in the endless garden. Hydrangeas, wisteria, spider lilies, tulips. Those were only a small selection of the flowers she could recall growing up beside. 

As a child she had found it easy to get lost in the garden for hours, just running around trying to identify all of the different plants that were growing there.

Standing in the middle of this other, much smaller, garden, she wondered if there were more than five plants in the tiny plots that surrounded a medium-sized pond.

“It’s…” she searched for the right thing to say, but none of the descriptors that came to mind were appropriate.

“Small?” the prince’s knight stepped up to her side. The entire walk to the garden he had followed behind her, directing her with short, quick instructions until they’d made it outside. Now that it seemed to be just the two of them, though, he stood at her side tall and proud.

Something that none of her guards would ever think to do.

“Small is a good descriptor,” she turned to face him and grinned. With him saying it she couldn’t be considered rude for simply agreeing. “Has it always been this small?”

“As long as I can remember, yes.” Rin raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t particularly odd to hear someone who worked in the castle say something like that, especially a royal guard. Something about the way he said it felt off, though. Rather than it being a simple statement of fact, there was a fondness in the words.

An emotion that she could only assume was attached to good memories, and while she hoped her future husband didn’t make his knights and servants' lives difficult she couldn’t imagine why any of them would hold such fondness for a place he would likely never have spent time on his own. 

She knew it wasn’t her place to ask. As the prince’s future wife, she was still an outsider to the kingdom. Someone with no power outside of her own kingdom until the day she and the prince married.

Still, she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. After the marriage was completed she likely wouldn’t have a lot of time alone with the royal knight. He was Gai’s dedicated knight. The one assigned to protect the prince and no one else. His presence at her side without Gai was a rare opportunity.

One she simply couldn’t ignore.

“So-” she tried not to look his way, but she couldn’t help but glance to her side when he didn’t respond right away. “How long?”

The knight arched an eyebrow.

“How long has it been,” she clarified. “You’re about my age so, if this kingdom follows the same rules as mine you have been a knight since you were eighteen which would be…five years.”

“Seven,” he answered. “I was knighted at age sixteen, but that’s not what you’re asking. What you’re asking, I believe, is how long I’ve been in the castle,” cupping his chin between his forefinger and thumb, he glanced up to the sky. A thoughtful look if she’d ever seen one. “Well, almost all of my life really.”

Rin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t that it was out of the ordinary for servants to live within the castle, but there were always certain areas that were reserved for the royal family.

The garden was one of those areas. Only the gardener was permitted entry, or on special occasions, the servants of the castle would be permitted into the area to celebrate with the royal family.

“Ah, I’ve confused you,” he offered her a smile. “Sorry, allow me to elaborate,” stepping forward, he pointed to the single bench positioned just under a large maple tree that resembled the one in her own garden back home. “Choza-sensei used to hold out lessons there when it was nice outside.”

“Your lessons?” she frowned, growing more confused with each word he said. ‘You mean-”

“He would teach the Prince and I, yes.”

Wrapping her head around that information felt impossible. All of her life Rin had only shared her lessons with her siblings. She had friends among her servants just as Gai did, but she’d never have been allowed to share lessons with them.

Her parents would have laughed at her if she even suggested such a thing.

“Your Kingdom certainly is-” Once again she found herself searching for the right word. Something that couldn’t be considered insulting, but nothing came up. 

“Strange?” the knight offered without hesitation. “Peculiar? Bizarre?”

Thinking about it, Rin nodded. “Yes, all of those.”

“You’re not the first to say so,” stepping to the side, he motioned toward the bench. A simple but obvious signal for Rin to take a seat. “Choza-Sensei himself argued against it, but the King insisted.”

Following his lead, Rin took a few short steps forward, turned to face him just as she reached the bench, and lowered herself onto it. 

As soon as she was sitting down, a strange feeling washed over her. A comfort that she hadn’t experienced since she first stepped onto the ship bound for her future husband’s kingdom. 

It was as if this spot, with all of its history, was telling her that she was safe.

That somewhere in this new, confusing Kingdom, she had somewhere to relax.

“It’s his favorite spot,” the knight continued, his voice full of tenderness as he looked upon the tree hanging over them. “Once a day he comes out here to relax.”

Rin frowned, suddenly feeling like she was encroaching on someone else’s space.

“No, please,” the knight protested when she began to stand. “I brought you here for a reason.”

Tilting her head, Rin felt her brows furrowing toward the center of her forehead. “What reason is that?”

“Well,” he paused, a thoughtful expression settling into his eyes as he stared at her. “I was hoping that it could be your place too.”

Rin’s brain screeched to a halt. “M-my place?”

“Yes,” he confined with a sharp nod. “You’ve been here for a week now and not once have I seen you relax. At least, not until just now.”

A week. For an entire week, he had been observing everything she did so closely that he’d picked up on her discomfort. Rin would usually be impressed with his observation skills if she wasn’t so upset with herself.

She was a Princess. From the young age of five, she had been taught how to stand, how to talk, how to present herself to others with confidence and calm, and most importantly she’d been taught to never allow her annoyance or stress to show in public.

Only one week in and she’d failed miserably.

“You’re stressing again,” the Knight spoke, a kind smile greeting her when she looked up at him. “Take a breath. The flowers may not be numerous, but they smell wonderful.”

Doing as he suggested, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep, calming breath. Immediately her nose was filled with the aroma of crisp autumn leaves and hydrangeas. Her concerns seemed to drift away with each passing moment, the scent pushing them off to the side until she could hardly remember what had been bothering her so much.

“There,” opening her eyes, she couldn’t help but let out a little puff of laughter when she saw the knight smiling at her. “That’s why he likes it here. He says all of his worries seem to wash away whenever he sits under this tree.”

Thinking about it, Rin chuckled. A real, proper laugh this time.

“Are you sure it’s just the tree?”

Now it was the knight's turn to look confused. “I don’t- I’m sorry?”

“The tree is nice,” she explained. “The garden is small, but calming. A good place for someone to collect their thoughts. But that’s not all there is.”

“What else is there, then?”

“You,” his eyes widened with shock and Rin found herself laughing more. The Knight who had been nothing but calm and collected since the moment she met him was suddenly overwhelmed by one simple word. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way he looks at you, or how he’s always asking for your opinion even though we both know he doesn’t need it.”

She had noticed.

It had been impossible to ignore. Every moment the two men stood in the same room together, Gai was always focused on his knight. 

Anyone with eyes could see that the Prince was in love, and it was not Rin who had won his heart.

“I- well…” Panic began to set in, his eyes darting around the garden. Searching for prying eyes that might use this information against him or the Prince. 

Jumping to her feet, Rin reached out and took hold of his arm. “Deep breath,” she repeated his words, grinning when he stared at her with fear in his eyes. “You are calming for him. Your presence is good for him, and I assure you I have no intention of doing anything to take it away.”

If she’d had a problem with it, she would have rejected the marriage as soon as she’d realized. Her parents may have been annoyed, but they would have understood. The choice was always her’s to make and they’d assured her of that from the moment they began negotiations. 

“Anyways,” turning back toward the bench, she smiled. A small smile shared only with herself as she thought about the life ahead of her. There was still a lot for her to do before the wedding. Adjustments she had to make to her new life, things she had to learn about the castle and the people who worked in it, and time that she needed to spend with her future husband.

After all, his heart might belong to his precious knight but it was her that he’d be sharing a bed chamber with. She had her place in the castle and the Prince’s other attractions wouldn’t stop her from fulfilling that place.

“You belong here,” the Knight spoke, his words striking right at her soul where all of her fears were kept so perfectly hidden away. “It took a long time for him to choose someone he could be happy with. Someone he might come to love one day.”

Her smile grew as she listened. “And you think that’s me?” 

“I know it is,” turning to look at him, she couldn’t help but gasp when she saw the tenderness in his eyes. “You say he loves me, but that feeling is not one-sided.”

“Then…why-”

“Because you’re good for him,” he answered without hesitation. “You’re good for this kingdom. At the end of the day, regardless of how I may feel, my duty to the kingdom and my Prince comes first.”

His emotions radiated off of him.

Love.

Devotion.

Determination.

Sadness.

“No,” she whispered, unable to ignore that overpowering sadness that seeped into his words. “I’ll only go through with this on one condition.”

It was something she’d never anticipated having to choose. A path that she’d never imagined for herself, even when she’d prepared herself for the possibility of marrying someone whom she would never truly love.

“And?” The knight prompted, staring at her with calculating dark eyes. “What is your condition?”

Stepping forward, she smiled up at him. “You love him.”

“I…” his eyes narrowed. “Don’t understand.”

“Love him,” she repeated. “Behind closed doors, where only the two of you and I know what is happening.”

Realization set in and his eyes flew open with shock. “Are you…you must be joking.”

“Not at all,” she answered with a confidence she’d been missing until this moment. For the past month as she prepared for her journey to the new kingdom, and thought about the impending wedding, she’d fretted that her marriage would end up like her parents.

Devoid of love or devotion, but full of duty.

There was nothing about her parent's marriage to be ashamed of, but it wasn’t what she wanted. An unhappy husband who would rather spend his time hiding away in the library, or entertaining guests, was not what she envisioned for her life.

“You love him,” she repeated. “And you tell me all about it so that one day, perhaps, I can love him as well.”

Two lovers. A Wife and a Knight.

It may not be the perfect arrangement for others, but Rin knew it was the one that would work for her. 

“You’ll love him too,” The Knight assured her, tenderness returning to his eyes as he thought about the lover that they shared. “And He’ll love you too.”

Rin laughed at that. “I should hope so.”

“Without a doubt,” the Knight responded with the same confidence he had shown since the moment she met him. “He loves kindness and sincerity above all else, and you are both of those things and more.”

“You barely know me, dear Knight.”

“I know enough,” he assured her. “And it’s Kakashi.”

Rin tilted her head. “Kakashi?”

“My name,” he answered. “It’s only right for you to know my name if we’re to share a lover.”

Kakashi. 

It sounded like a perfect name. A name full of dignity and respect.

“Then from now on we’ll do this together, Kakashi,” holding out a hand, she smiled when he stared down at it. “We’ll love him, together. Deal?”

Realizing what she was asking, he reached out and grasped her hand. It was something no one else would dare to do, and which he would never repeat where others could see them, but a small action which he granted her in this moment as they sorted out their futures.

“Deal.”

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2022

Another pretty decent year for pop music ; a very slow one, with a lot of trash, but the good stuff was so good making a top 10 took me ages, unlike 2021 where it was way easier. Outside of the top 100, some incredible stuff dropped this year too, so yeah - even if the charts don't always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. Again, again. How was your 2022??

Still didn't catch covid but I did catch a very nasty cold a month ago. Still drawing and writing a lot, and also spending more and more time customising my clothes with dumb patches and embroidered messages and stuff.

I went to a LOT of concerts this year, and they were all fantastic for completely different reasons! I'm so glad I finally have the budget to do this without feeling guilty or cutting down some more vital stuff. So yeah. I went to see My Chemical Romance, The Soft Moon, Sigur Ros, Placebo and Enter Shikari. Before that the last concert I had attended was VNV Nation all the way back in 2019!

Speaking of which, let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2022 or in late 2021, and this is going to be pretty long.

Albums

I have to mention that I tried to get into Ghost this year. It's definitely not for me apart from a couple of songs, but also, Impera was pretty bad. Probably wasn't a good idea to start listening to these guys in their current era.

I also have to mention that I've been thoroughly disappointed by Mainstream Sellout, because I'm one of those weirdos who actually liked Tickets to my Downfall by Machine Gun Kelly. But yeah, the guy became self-aware, and that's the worst thing that could possibly happen. Awful. Emo Girl is unintentionally funny, though.

Not sure this counts as an "album" since it's an EP, and a five minutes-long one at that, but Snake Eyes by 100 Gecs made me even more excited for their new album in 2023.

Electric Callboy's Tekkno is dumb and funny in all the right ways and I'm glad they got so much positive attention out of it. That's trolling with actual effort and passion put into it and it's kind of a lost art form at this point. The music videos are amazing too.

Rakshak by Bloodywood is exactly the kind of thing Nu Metal needed to move forward and I love the fact that energy came from India, of all places. A lot of fresh ideas, generally interesting topics and politics ; I'm sold. This is great. More, please.

Muna by uh Muna didn't leave much of an impression on me at first but I kept thinking about it and I eventually came back to it to relisten to it several times later in the year. I'm not sure what it means. Probably something good, though. Maybe it will be one of my faves of the year in retrospect..? Also it's very gay, which never hurts.

I'm somewhat conflicted about Being Funny in a Foreign Language by The 1975. Objectively, it's probably their best album ; it's straightforward, it's very well produced, it has a couple of bangers. Subjectively, I'm not even sure I'd place it above Notes on a Conditional Form, which if you recall was a GIGANTIC MESS, just because the highs of this mess were stratospheric compared to the ones the new album has. Still really good, but I miss the chaos.

Death's Dynamic Shroud's Dark Life has SO MANY different ideas going in so many different directions it's kind of a miracle that the album stays so coherent. The colors and the textures are sometimes so complex and layered that just listening to them to try to pick them apart becomes a stim to me. Beautiful.

I only found this album last month but Dimensional Bleed by Holy Fawn is one of the best post rock things I've ever heard since Sigur Ros stopped releasing new music

Exister by The Soft Moon comes so close to being my album of the year. SO close. Among all the musicians trying to become the new Trent Reznor, this guy's the only credible candidate for me, just because he's not afraid to try really weird shit. When I saw him live in October, the last thing he played had a castanets solo over huge electronic beats. And it went hard as hell! I sincerely hope his future stuff will be even better. I'm sold.

But uh. Guys. I'm sorry.

I'm so predictable. Never Let Me Go, Placebo's comeback album, is my favorite album of the year. Of course, when one of my favorite bands ever decided to release new music after nearly ten years of nothing, I was thrilled, but also worried it would disappoint me. The first singles were amazing, but what if? What if the rest of the album wasn't as good? And yet, by the time it was over, I was trying to determine if it was my third or fourth fave album in their discography. Even now, I'd only put Meds and Sleeping With Ghosts above this one. It's distinctly them, but full of new and interesting ideas. I'm beyond happy things turned out so well.

Unelligible Songs

There's a TON of them! Because that year was very good! This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill.

Should I start with some Gecs? I feel like I should start with some Gecs. So here's Doritos and Fritos, Hey Big Man and Torture Me. You're welcome.

While we're at it, if you've never watched any of the recent Electric Callboy music videos, your day is about to get slightly better. I suggest Pump It and Spaceman. Also both are actually good songs on top of being funny.

I might have trashtalked Ghost's new album earlier but Spillways is like Poison 2.0. That's a compliment by the way

I've not always enjoyed what these guys made post-Hot Fuss, but Boy by the Killers should definitely have been a hit.

What I Want by Muna also has this "should have been a huge hit" aura. I'm feeling every line of this chorus in my bones. Best song about delayed adolescence for queer people

Are we making a list of songs that should have been hits? Let me add Metric with What feels like eternity, then

However, American Teenager by Ethel Cain might still have a slight chance of becoming a hit song in the future. I want to believe

Hey do you want some cringe. Cause here's Slaughterhouse by Motionless In White oops

JEZEBEEEEEEEEEEL IF YOU'RE THE HUNTER THEN I'M THE PREYYYYYY

At this point I'm pretty sure I've listened to Precious Hearts by The Birthday Massacre for about six hours over the course of 2022 but since I'm an old idiot who only listens to music through .mp3 files and doesn't use spotify I have no way to check

My very first contact with Bloodywood was Dana Dan, and what a first impression that was. Turn the subtitles on, by the way.

Go_A dropped an absolute banger called Kalyna at the very start of the Ukraine war and it might just be their best track so far.

I am legally obligated to mention The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance. Is it their best song? Hell no. Is it mixed like shit? Yes. Is it way to long? Absolutely. Do I enjoy it? Immensely. Also it had no music video and no promotion. What a power move

Nurture by Porter Robinson, which I mentioned last year as one of my favorite albums in a year full of incredible ones, was still one of my most listened-to albums of 2022, so it feels right to mention a song he released outside of any album this year (Everything Goes On).

Avantasia is back, with a..... an album I didn't like very much, oops, but damn, The Moonflower Society is one of their best songs ever. Long live ridiculous over-the-top power metal with super-serious poetry as lyrics.

Born Yesterday by Quadeca sounds like Sigur Ros trying to make a radio-friendly song, and it sounds absolutely immaculate. Also it's about someone who killed himself just before his birthday and his ghosts deeply regrets that decision

This is not the end by Gareth Emery might be standard EDM, but it's also genuinely comforting to hear these lyrics

I need to put a break here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post this thing. Are you still there? Ok good.

El Alma Que Te Trajo (Safety Trance ft. Arca). Send tweet

It's kind of funny that emo came back a couple of years ago through 8-o-8's and sad rappers with face tattoos. It's even funnier that I genuinely enjoyed some of their stuff. It's even-even funnier that some of them are straight-up doing pop punk stuff now. All of this to say that I love Girl Next Door by Lil Lotus

If you've followed anything in the metal scene this year you already know that Lorna Shore absolutely killed it in 2022. Hell yeah let's put some melodies in deathcore, I'm all for it. Anyway Sun//Eater is great

I should probably recommend some cool music that cool people like before I humiliate myself further by recommending more edgy shit, so this is the perfect time to say that Judgment Bolt, Neon Memories and Messe de E-102 are now permanently etched somewhere in my brain. Seriously please listen to Darklife by Death's Dynamic Shroud if you have the slightest, smallest interest in electronic music I beg you

Ok back to the cringe. Speaking of neons, here's Neon Grave by Dayseeker. I've never liked a song by these guys before so this was a bit of a surprise for me

Also I've listened to it again and again but I still want to cry every time I hear This is what you wanted by Placebo. Not sure why it's my absolute favorite track on an album full of fantastic tracks. Not sure what it says about me. Not sure I want to know

I think I mentioned an Enter Shikari concert. Not sure I can call myself a fan yet, but I spent an ungodly amount of hours listening to their old and new stuff in 2022. Turns out one of my favorite songs they ever made is one of the newest ones, The Void Stares Back. This is exactly the kind of surreal and borderline apocalyptic lyrics I need in my life. I even bought a t-shirt saying "I'm the child with the telescope eyes" at that concert oops

Oh Caroline is one of the best songs The 1975 ever made and, like all my fave songs from that band, it's deeply awkward and embarrassing. It's a guy begging his ex to come back and it gets humiliating. Perfection. Thank you

Just when you thought this list couldn't get worse I'm about to confess I love The Boy in the Black Dress by Yungblud. Can't get the image of a teenager trying to remove his nail polish with his teeth after a teacher told him he looked girly out of my head now. God I love narrative songs so much

We've reached the terminal velocity of musical cringe so here's sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon because OF FUCKING COURSE I love sTraNgeRs by Bring Me The Horizon. You must be new here. WE'RE DYING TO LIVE AND WE'RE LIVING TO DIIIIIIIIIIE

Also I'm not going to recommend too many the Soft Moon songs but Become the Lies is now a classic for me only six months after it came out, and I've been obsessed with Him (ft Fish Narc, who kills it as the evil twin of the narrator) to the point of making fanart of the mental amv I have for it. Might even upload it after finishing this post, I'm not sure.

Honorable Mentions

Tití me preguntó (Bad Bunny) - I swear I had this song playing in my brain for days and I'm not even sure I like it.

Jour meilleur (Orelsan) - I'm usually not the biggest fan of the guy, but this one is really nice.

As it was (Harry Styles) - Perfectly serviceable little pop tune.

Where are you now (Lost Frequencies) - A great earworm.

Enemy (Imagine Dragons) - Listen. It's bad. But I can't get over the fact that an overly-hated band made a song where the chorus literally screams "EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYY", it's so much fun to sing along with it

Shivers (Ed Sheeran) - Do I really like Ed Sheeran now. Is this my life. Is this what growing old feels like

Belly Dancer (Imanbek & BYOR) - I'm going to the gym now and this is on their playlist. It's completely brainless but it had a serious chance to end on my actual top ten at some point. I physically can't listen to it without at the very least tapping my foot on the floor.

One Right Now (Post Malone & The Weeknd) - This WAS on my list at some point but I ended up cutting it. Nobody seems to like this song, and I love it for all the wrong reasons. Namely, the fact that a duet between two male singers talking about someone cheating on them sounds like they cheated on each other. And I think that's unintentional comedy gold.

Bad habit (Steve Lacy) - The very last cut I had to make. It's a wonderful song, and I simply adore its vibe, but I tend to lose some interest after 2:20 for some reason. No idea why.

Pretty sure there's nobody still reading this post. Which might be good because there's one deeply humiliating pick on this top ten. Let's do this

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

10 - Santé (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #90

I still can't believe this idiot climbed his way out of depression and burnout just to tell every emergency worker to join a union. What a king. Legends only

Also I seriously considered putting it at the top of this list in very early 2022 if the year turned out to be mediocre. I never expected it to be placed so low in the end. That's a good thing, by the way

9 - Break my soul (Beyoncé)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

So uh. As far as I know there's still no music video for this one, which is kind of a power move in this day and age, not gonna lie. But yeah. You know me. Can't resist a eurodance diva. And Beyoncé as a eurodance diva is all I ever wanted and more. What the hell happened this year, music-wise, seriously

8 - J'la connais, pt. 1 (Emkal)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Okay, the autotune is a bit grating. Doesn't matter.

Look, I usually dislike this kind of songs and singers always talking about girls cheating on them and stuff. But no, this dude right there is singing about people telling him his girlfriend is going to cheat on him, and he basically tells them he trusts her more than them ("Cette fille, j'la connais, eh, mais toi, tu es qui ? On se connaît ?" ("I know that girl, eh - but you? who are you again?"). Very refreshing. Well played, sir.

7 - Thunder (Gabry Ponte)

US: Not on the list / FR: #59

BEHOLD. THERE IS NOW A GOOD SONG CALLED "THUNDER" ON THE CHARTS. AND IT'S COMPLETELY BRAINLESS.

So uh, this one also plays at the gym. It's just some very basic and very commercial EDM. For some reason, it kinda sounds like a pirate song to me, the kind of thing you'd drink to on an adventure or something like that. There's not a lot that can be said about it. The colors are especially trippy, though.

Does it look like I'm stalling for time? Uh, maybe I am.

Oh god, here comes the really embarrassing part.

6 - Bad habits (Ed Sheeran ft Bring Me The Horizon)

US: #13 / FR: #53

So uh. This was in my honorable mentions last year:

And it was slowly exiting the charts when this new version dropped all of a sudden in mid-February, with way more guitars and bombast, and of course Oli Sykes screaming his head out at the end. And it climbed up the charts all over again.

And since I'm a major sucker with no taste, of course I loved it.

Doesn't make up for the fact the lyrics are still very vague and Ed Sheeran is still Ed Sheeran, but clearly that wasn't enough to keep this version of the song off my list. It's enough to make me question my choices, though. Steve Lacy should probably be there instead.

Eh. Too late now.

5 - Numb Little Bug (Em Behold)

US: #32 / FR: Not on the list

I initially put this one higher ; I'm not tired of it or anything, it's just that I don't listen to it as often as some things above it. And it got popular through TikTok, too - I'd ask if the kids are okay, but we all know the answer to that question, I think. I can't get over how brutal these lyrics are for what's essentially a cute pop song. And yeah, that's a huge mood. Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Yes! Quite often actually! Glad we're all on the same page, at least. It's somewhat comforting.

Imagine how bleak and scary that song would be if it was more serious and less upbeat, though.

Oh. Oh shit.

4 - L'Enfer (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #46

Guess we don't have to imagine. Guess it already exists. Guess it's on the French year-end chart. And it's absolutely terrifying.

Look, I'm glad Stromae is back. I'm glad he feels better. But uh- yeah. This track is genuinely hard to listen to. I'm pretty sure it's objectively better than the three songs I placed above it, but yeah.

J'ai parfois eu des pensées suicidaires, et j'en suis peu fier (I've had suicidal thoughts at times and I'm not proud of it) On croit parfois que c'est la seule manière de les faire taire (Sometimes you think that's the only way to shut them up) Ces pensées qui me font vivre un enfer (These thoughts that make my life hell)

Yeah.

3 - About Damn Time (Lizzo)

US: #12 / FR: Not on the list

I had a hard time deciding where to rank this song between #3 and #2. Maybe I should say it's a tie. It changes day to day with my mood, really.

But yeah, thank you Lizzo for being a combo breaker in this short series of songs about addiction and depression and death! This one is impossible to resist. You hear it and you just have to move or tap your feet and smile. And-

I'm way too fine to be this stressed, yeah Oh, I'm not the girl I was or used to be, uh Bitch, I might be better

Favorite lyrics of the year? I don't know. Maybe. Amazing, in any case. Thank you for this gift, madam.

2 - That's What I Want (Lil Nas X)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaaaand back to the sadness. Well, not really. The song itself is pretty upbeat. In any case, you've probably seen that one coming from a mile away because of my 2021 Unelligible Songs list:

And yeah! It's elligible at last! I'm so, so happy. And I want Lil Nas X to find love and be happy too. Montero was gay as hell, Industry Baby was a victory lap, but this one? This one is the guy bearing his soul and you can feel it even through the impeccable production and pop sensibilities. Cry your heart out to this upbeat tune, my friend, it's gonna be okay. And we love you.

1 - Meet Me At Our Spot (The Anxiety)

US: #74 / FR: Not on the list

I think I've listened to this one more than any other song this year and yet I'm still not entirely sure why I love it so much, especially considering it took literal months to grow on me. I can't even describe its vibe. Is it melancholy? No, it's too happy. Is it happy then? No, it's too tired. But it has energy, too. Is it romantic? Not really. What is it?

One thing's for sure, whichever vibe it is, I got lost in it for hours, to the point of creating entire scenes set to it in my mind. Which led to drawings. Which led to me inventing characters completely disconnected from the song and writing a story where the initial scene I visualised is only a small one in the grand scheme of things.

There's magic in this song's vibe, and I've been on a quest to transcribe it, and I will probably fail. In the meantime, thank you for meeting me at this spot. It's been a wild ride. See you next year!

[vintage-bentley]

I've been a fan of GO since I was 12 (I'm now 28) and read the book so many times it fell apart as a teen - but for some reason, I never connected with the TV version. Just never vibed with it, can't explain why. Maybe because it was Terry Pratchett I always loved and his magic felt like it was missing from it, leaving mostly NG's influence (who I don't like but that's a long story). So I feel no excitement for series 2, and that kind of bums me out because 12 year old me loved it so much.

Are there many reasons to be excited for s2? Are you?

I’m unfortunately one of the people who saw the TV series first, then read the book, so I didn’t experience the sort of hesitance about the series somebody who came from the book might. I personally love the series, and also love the book! But I can see why you weren’t the biggest fan of the series. It definitely feels like it lost a bit of Terry’s touch. I’ve said before that this worries me for season 2, because at least with season 1 Neil was working with a complete book he’d written with Terry. Now he’s on his own. I mean, it sounds like they’ve had conversations about what a second book or season would entail…but that’s very different from actually writing it together.

Personally, I feel a whole lot of things about season 2. I feel excited, because I love the story and characters and want more. But I’m also very nervous, because it could easily go wrong. Sometimes things are best left alone…and season 1 ended on such a lovely note and had so much closure, that I’m not sure how a season 2 would fit into it. I do worry that this will be one of those cases of the sequel not being as good as the original, just because the original was so good.

And of course, I’m worried that the fandom’s homophobia that Neil has eagerly endorsed will seep its way into the show. But I’m hoping it won’t, because as much as I don’t like Neil, he seems to know how to draw a line between canon and headcanons. What it looks like to me, is he’s had his ideas set in stone for years, and is just agreeing with fandom to get clout. But his ideas are still his ideas and he won’t let them get changed by the fandom…both for creative reasons and legal reasons. So I hardly think he’ll be like “you know what, I didn’t even know what ‘asexual demiromantic genderfluid nonbinary’ meant until yesterday, but I’m going to have my characters come out as it in season 2! It’ll be great!”.

The fandom has been an issue for me for a while. They’re comically sexist and homophobic, and being a lesbian that means it’s just not the place for me. So I stay away from larger fandom as much as possible, because I have no interest in seeing “progressive” takes about why actually it’s bad for the two male characters to be in love, and why actually Crowley’s a woman if he has long hair.

But I wouldn’t let the fandom ruin your enjoyment of the show. Ultimately, it’s just the fandom. There’s so many things that are great but have insufferable fandoms…and it’s not a reflection on the work, but rather just a reflection of the people who are the loudest fans (which are always going to be young people since that’s who fandom is mainly populated by, and young people right now are caught up in gender ideology). Watching the show, then seeing what these fans think of it, really just shows you that they’re hardly fans of the show, and are more accurately fans of the story they’ve created in their heads that’s loosely inspired by the show. So try to disconnect the fandom from the show, because they’re entirely different.

The fact is, fandom’s always been insanely homophobic because it’s populated by straight women who fetishise gay men. It’s just now they’ve found a new way to be homophobic (gender ideology) and they’ve found a way to play with it (a show with non-human characters and a magic system). The fandom doesn’t say as much about GO as it does about fans eagerly waiting for the first opportunity to be homophobic.

I’d encourage you to hang around the gender critical corner of the fandom. It makes the experience so much more enjoyable when you know you’re safe from homophobia and sexism and general clownery.

I’m very excited to be able to watch the new season and be able to talk about it with people who I know won’t shun me for calling Crowley a “he” in a scene where he has long hair, and who I can trust to not be homophobic and not shut down my concerns about baiting because “it’s still queer!!! Shut up cis gay!!! Not everything’s about you!!!”.

In short, yes, I’m excited about season 2. More accurately, I’m cautiously optimistic. Because I know that whatever happens, it’s still more of something I love dearly, and that I’ll have people to gush about it to who I don’t have to be wary around.

[cam-ryt]

🤝🏽

🤝🏻 - Holding hands

_______________

The first time Alec hold Magnus' hand in public, he couldn't help but feel a bit nervous.

The closeted gay he had been for more than a decade still showed up sometimes, making anxiety claw at his gut and bringing out all his insecurities.

Holding hands was not really a big deal, except it was when you came from a very traditional family with a subtle homophobic background. Subtle because nobody was going to spit in your face for being in love with a man, but they would find a hundred other ways to make you understand how that was not okay. Like putting in your mind since childhood that the only honorable way to be a Lightwood was to marry a woman and to carry on the lineage.

And still he was there, defying all the odds just by having his fingers intertwined with the man he loved with all his soul.

He should have been proud, but some days he just felt like a total failure. He was used to the disappointed looks by now, but they still hurt from time to time, especially coming from his parents. Then there was the silent treatment his mother gave him for a couple months after his coming out.

Magnus was out for so long, and he seemed so confortable in his own skin. Alec couldn't relate. Somehow showing his true self to the world sent him into a spiral of wanting to be perfect in every other aspects of his life. As to prove he could still be a good son, a good soldier or a good leader, even if he was never gonna perpetuate the bloodline.

Maybe if he worked hard enough his parents could eventually get over their disappointment.

Maybe.

- Hey. I can almost hear you think. Magnus smiled gently at him, forcing Alec to come back to earth to focus on the moment.

He had no idea for how long he'd been lost in his thoughts but he could recognize the park next to the Institute so it had been at least ten minutes.

- Sorry, I... He started before bitting is bottom lip.

- Are you okay, love ? Magnus asked softly, his beautiful eyes lighting up with concern.

- I- I'm not sure. Alec answered, suddenly feeling a bit out of breath.

Magnus furrowed his brows and stopped walking. His fingers slid up Alec's wrist and nestled against the soft spot of skin between is palm and forearm. Alec was always amazed to see how fast his boyfriend was learning every little details of his needs. Like detecting the first signs of an anxiety attack.

- Do you want to sit ?

- Yeah... Yes, please. Alec breathed, already feeling is chest constrict and his vision darken in the corners.

Magnus quickly found a bench surrounded by a couple of trees where they could be partially hidden from the mundanes around them and led Alec to sit down on it.

- Breath with me, baby. He said gently, kneeling at his feet and taking his hands in his. You're safe with me.

- I know, I- I'm sorry... Alec replied in a choppy voice, clearly struggling to draw a complete breath.

- No apologies. Magnus shook his head. No talking. Just breathing. Okay ? I'll count with you.

Alec nodded and started to count in his head at the same time as Magnus.

Inspire.

1 2 3 4

Expire.

1 2 3 4

Inspire.

Again.

And again.

Magnus was softly circling the inside of his wrists with his thumbs as he knew that was something that helped keep Alec grounded.

- You're doing great honey.

Alec's breath began to steady after a couple of minutes and he could start to feel his chest lighten a little bit. His other senses gradually recovered as he calmed down and he somehow found the courage to open his eyes. Magnus' face was only a few centimeters from his own, and the setting sun was glowing in his hair, spreading warm colours on his cheeks and lighting up his eyes with complex nuances.

- You're beautiful. He blurted out before being able to arrange his thoughts.

- Why thank you, Alexander. Magnus replied with a surprised laugh that enlightened all his features. Are you okay ?

- I think I am.

He straightened up a bit and rubbed his chest to get rid of the last uncomfortable feelings staying there. He could feel Magnus gaze on his face and guessed the next question easily.

- Was that about us holding hands in public ?

Alec swallowed around the lump in his throat. What if Magnus thought that he was ashamed of them ? What if he was never able to show his affection in public because he was still too deep in the guilt his parents made him feel ? What if Magnus get bored of being a hidden boyfriend ? What if...

- Alec, please stop spiraling my dear.

Magnus gently cupped his face and pressed his forehead against his.

- I understand if you're not ready yet. I'd never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you know that.

- But what if I'm never ready...? Alec whimpered, feeling tears prick up the corner of his eyes.

- Alexander. Magnus backed away slightly to look him in the eyes. You're the bravest man I know. And the only one that kissed someone else than the bride at his own wedding.

Alec's cheeks immediately heated up.

- I should not be proud of this.

- You should be proud of standing for who you are. You should be proud of making your own choices. What you did back then, and what you continue to do every day is not easy. Nobody said that being himself and showing it to the world was easy. But I saw what you're capable of, and I know that one day you'll be able to be as proud as yourself as I am.

Alec sighed softly and pressed his head against Magnus', interlacing their fingers.

- Thank you. You're really good at giving speeches. You should be a life coach.

Magnus let out a chuckle and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

- Maybe in another reality, who knows ? Do you need another couple of minutes ?

Alec shook his head and took a deep breath.

- No, I'm ready.

When they left the bench to continue to the Institute, Alec still not let go of his hand.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

An ode to Given

A few days ago the internet collectively freaked out - myself included - when it was announced that the next chapter of Given would be the final chapter, ending its 10-year run. I'm honestly still in shock and while I'm trying to stay optimistic that maybe the big announcement that's coming with the final chapter will involve some kind of sequel, a second season of the anime seems more likely. It's difficult coming to terms with the fact that I may have to say goodbye to a series that I love so much, and with an ending that I most likely will not find satisfying. Regardless, Given has taken up a huge space in my heart for the past two years and I just wanted to write about how I found it, my experience with it, and what it means to me.

I've enjoyed manga and anime ever since I was in middle school, but toward the end of college I got too busy to keep up. Fast forward to years later in 2020, I was stuck at home during the pandemic and decided to dive back in. After rewatching a BL anime that I really liked in high school, Given came up as a suggested series. A quick Google search told me that it was a great romance story between boys in a band, cool.

The first episode starts with Mafuyu's melancholy monologue about the dream he keeps on having and I see right off the bat that I've signed up for a bit more than a cute love story with music. Then the opening song Kizuato hits and I'm totally captivated. It's probably one of my favorite opening sequences and truly captures the feel of the series with its hard-hitting instrumentals, Cenmilli's emotional vocals, and the moody art.

The series pace is on the slower side but there was enough drama and intrigue to keep pulling me in, and it's full of comedic gold. And then... episode 9, A Winter Story. It shook me to my core, everything about it was absolutely amazing. Ue's talk with Mafuyu before the show where he admits that even he doesn't know what he is doing or how to express himself, all he knows is that he loves Mafuyu's sound. The song itself, interspersed with flashbacks of Mafuyu and Yuki's relationship and Mafuyu's monologue (his "I'm lonely" is truly devastating, major props to Yano Shogo). THE KISS. A genuine surprise, so quick and so gentle from inexperienced Ue. I had to watch the episode twice because it left me in complete awe and I needed to experience it again. Then episodes 10-11 were the perfect wind-down with a lot of cute and legendary moments, aka Ue experiencing increasing levels of gay panic. The series became an instant favorite and I rewatched it immediately. I can't find the words to properly express what it did to me but it just made me feel so many things, things I don't think I've felt for a long time. I couldn't shake it.

After that, I was still hungry for more Given so I read the manga, which is a totally different and wonderful experience. The art is beautiful, and the way Kizu-sensei portrays emotions through the characters' facial expressions is unparalleled. Soon after that, the movie came to Crunchyroll, and I've been keeping up with the series in every form since. I read the chapters as they come out bi-monthly. I watched the drama adaptation (not great but not the worst I've seen). I watched the OVA many times (my favorite, all the precious RitsuMafu moments I was missing from the movie). I splurged on a second-hand DVD set of the stage play (really well done). I even watched the anime dub (tolerable), and I hate dubs. Rereading and rewatching the series are routine. Safe to say, it's consumed me for two years and the flame has not died down one bit.

Lots of fans joke about referring to Given as our comfort series when it actually hits on a lot of heavy topics and has eviscerated our emotions on more than one occasion. But it truly is my comfort place. Just as I had finished watching the anime for the first time, I lost a very close friend to illness. This friend was a fellow anime/manga enthusiast and was probably the one who introduced me to the world of BL. Although she didn't watch Given, I like to think that it could have been something we would have enjoyed together if we had the time. And although the circumstances are different, I could relate to Mafuyu prematurely losing an important person in his life. Because the story is equal parts pain and healing, Given kind of provided me with a space where I could dump all of the emotions I was experiencing, whether they were happy or sad. It taught me about loss, grief, and above all, the way music and love can heal the wounds that these things have left behind.

I also have to speak separately about the music of Given, it's just so well done, with so much care and attention to detail. You can tell that Cenmilli worked closely with Kizu-sensei or really dived into the source material when working on the music. Every song created for the series relates very clearly to an event or element of the story. I could write praises upon praises for all of them, but some of my favorites include:

Fuyu no Hanashi, for obvious reasons. Yano Shogo's raw vocals are haunting and the guitar riffs are insanely cool. The way the lyrics change from Mafuyu being stuck and unable to say goodbye in the first chorus, to finally moving forward despite that in the last chorus, show that he's getting the closure he needed.

Kizuato - The lyrics perfectly express the series' tagline "can't say goodbye, I'm still drifting with your echoes." And the pre-chorus is so, so good.

Hetakuso - A simple but insanely sweet song that is definitely Mafuyu's response to Ue's admission that he is bad at expressing himself. I squealed when I saw the lyrics mention "covered by the heat of summer" and "not being afraid of the next winter" in reference to the two of them.

Bokura dake no Shudaika - As I read the lyrics, I can't tell if the song is referencing Akihiko and Ugetsu's relationship or Akihiko and Haruki's (maybe it's both), but I actually like that ambiguity. I also love how it beautifully incorporates the violin as a salute to Aki and Ugetsu.

Uragawa no Sonzai - I know Mafuyu is singing the song but I like to think of it from Ue's perspective. He is aware that there is a side to Mafuyu that he doesn't know, his past, a time when he cried, a person he cried over. But he embraces this "existence on the other side" as a precious part of the person he loves and vows that he will fill up for what the other is lacking, and vice versa. I'm crying.

Now that the series is coming to an end, I don't know what I'll do with myself. If it's truly ending for good, I do have my complaints, but I'll save that for another time. No matter what though, Given is solidified as one of my top anime/manga series of all time, and I'm sure I'll keep revisiting it over the years even after it's finished. It's given me so much - joy (RitsuMafu soft moments are my serotonin), sorrow (Strawberry Swing, anyone?), laughs (too many to count), and some of my favorite music - and for that, I'm incredibly thankful.