i shouldnt be at the club i should be at a monastery. illuminating texts and shit
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
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i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.
(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)
hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.
ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!
the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!
the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!
(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)
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i am fucking Thinking about how death is handled in destiny 2 once again.
in regards to guardians it’s almost treated as like a joke or something deeply unserious? possibly even alien in a way due to how we kill and destroy and wreck havoc against our alien foes, but we ourselves never die. it’s really interesting to me cause there really isn’t a lot that can permanently kill a guardian so it makes sense we’d have this perception. like off the top of my head you have weapons of sorrow, hive rituals where the light is drained from a guardian, and paracausal beings which ofc includes other guardians. but that isn’t a lot, most deaths are not permanent and so this perception of death among guardians seems like death really isnt that big of a deal.
we jump off the tower and then get resurrected and have a little laugh about it. guardians constantly kill each other for fun in crucible. we are always doing incredibly stupid shit but we are rewarded because our enemies do not share in our immortality. it’s fascinating bc this not only makes us become riskier as time goes on due to being rewarded (enemies defeated) for our lack of self preservation, but this also makes guardians as a whole uniquely unsuited to handle grief and loss. if you spend your whole unlife winning and thinking that if a friend dies they’ll just come right back, it’s such a shock if (or rather when) they actually do die permanently. and then that guardian has to spend the rest of their immortal, undying life remembering. they have to live with that while they watch the newer guardians flood into the tower with the same naive disposition as they once had.
i’m sure guardians know theoretically they could die permanently at any point, especially because of those like dredgen yor, but i feel like for most it’s one of those things that most would say “well that would never happen to me” until it does happen. guardians seem to just have this inability to let go and it makes me want to bite drywall because i think abt it too long and start going feral. like!! the past may be the past but it sure doesn’t feel like it when you’re immortal and you remember that shit clear as day!!! aghhhh pacing around my room in circles and eating ROCKS
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a lolcow is obviously a bad and harmful thing but studying weird people online is a wonderful and soul enriching experience. but if u treat the fun of it as a product and engage with them to get more of this product, if youre "milking" the "lolcow", youre fucked. youre going down the path of darkness. it needs to be aetherial and loose. the better alternative is looking at lolbirds instead which is quite beautiful cuz, like birdwatching, its a process where u do not enact power and force over ur subject to make it show u what u want, you just let them naturally come by and show off their plumage (10000 near identically composed deviantart illustrations of different kids show character crying while getting knead into dough and baked[this happened in a single episode of a show the artist saw when they were 4]) and then u maybe show some of ur favorite feathers of theirs to your close group of friends and then let them pass on with the wind and u keep them as a sweet memory ❤
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