#it’s made so so so fucking much worse by the fact that he totes himself as the most smartest specialest most important boy on the planet

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[demonsfate]

sorry but jin was interesting pre-tekken 6 because he was different from kazuya and heihachi. he wasn't just repeating the "morally gray guy becomes worse" story that we've already seen with kazuya. jin was designed with the intent to be kazuya's foil; to show what kazuya might've been had he stayed on the right path and was raised with love. having jin be exactly like kazuya ruins that point, and again, gives us a repetitive story. not jinpachi, not lars, but jin was supposed to be the good mishima. jin was supposed to be the exception - that's what originally made him stand out. yes, kazuya being Not So Good was a subversion of the Fighting Game Protagonist, but jin being the good guy was a subversion of the other mishimas, and well, a subversion in tekken itself.

and like yes, jin is a mishima, but he's also a kazama. to want him to be just like heihachi and kazuya takes away his kazama heritage. jin being a good guy who sometimes goes off the edge (such as wanting to kill kazuya, heihachi, and himself) and is sometimes a punk makes him a perfect mix of the two. he's not totes evil like kazuya, but he's not exactly a saint like his mother. jin is a bit of both, but ultimately - a good guy in the end. perhaps even taking his father's better qualities.

tekken 4 is known as one of the best written tekken stories. and y'know what's a big part of it? jin. jin's character is a big part of it. how he's portrayed and everything is executed so well, way better than tk6 could ever do, and way better than even tk8 did. it was the endings in tk4 that SOLIDIFIED jin as a good guy. in both heihachi and kazuya's endings, it ends with them killing everyone for their selfish gain. jin's ending is the only ending where everyone lives, where jin shows mercy. this is because jin is NOT like the other mishimas. this is what sets jin APART from the other mishimas. by making him just like kazuya in tk6, it ruins the story of tk4, and everything else about jin. all of what made jin GOOD.

i don't feel like getting the pictures to compare but if y'all played the games, y'all would know. in his tk6 intros and outros, jin crosses his arms and smirks - just like kazuya does in tk4+. when defeating an opponent, jin says "pitiful!" just how kazuya does the same when calling defeated opponents "pathetic". kazuya wears a suit, now jin wears one too. kazuya threatens to kill people, jin threatens to kill people. kazuya wanted to make an independent nation with an army in tk2, jin declared the zaibatsu's independence from the world with his own army in tk6. kazuya kidnapped dr. bosconovitch, jin kidnapped dr. bosconovitch. like jesus christ. you can say jin is boring or not like his character much, but at least before tk6 - he was an original character and wasn't just goddamn kazuya again.

"good guys have no place in tekken, that's what makes tekken tekken." okayyyyyy... then what's the point of lars? alisa? xiaoyu? shaheen? do you know how many goody characters are in tekken? in fact, the whole "every person is bad in tekken!!1!" is becoming a Thing of the Past (if it was ever an actual thing to begin with lmao). just because look at tk7... what did it do? make heihachi look like a better person. look at tk8... what did it do? make the fucking devil himself into a good person. when the devil HIMSELF is a GOOD PERSON, i think that's a sure fire way that "every character in tekken is edgy and bad" is a thing that's no more lmao. in fact, we can argue more characters are now good in tekken than they are bad.

i understand people will have their own opinion but my god... it just drives me crazy how common the "tekken 6 made jin interesting achtually!" take is... it's just, sorry. but i think it's wrong.

[mintmatcha]

10 Months - Chapter 4

9 months, 1 day

Matsuhana

CW- Angst, mentions of death

Chapter 1-3 on AO3

A/N: i think all the pieces are set now.... 

“Are you all caught up with My Hero?”

Matsukawa catches the bottle cap against the corner of his counter and, with the heel of his palm, slams down against it, hard enough to pop the cap off. It flies halfway across the room, clattering against the floor before sliding halfway under the fridge. As he walks by, sipping off the foam of his beer, he kicks it deeper into the unknown with the rest of the bottle caps. It would be a nice surprise for the next tenant: a private little collection of bottle caps stashed under every appliance.

"Nah, I'm a couple chapters behind," Mattsun replies as he leaves the kitchen, grabbing the remote along the way. "I'm surprised you're all caught up. Aren't you, I dunno, busy torturing athletes?"

"I have to be!" Iwaizumi groans, propping his feet up against the coffee table to bury himself further into the couch. He's still in his work clothes, the polo shirt struggling to stretch over his thick biceps as he buries his chopstick into the takeaway for another bite. "Bokuto spoils the new chapter for me every week!"

"That guy’s too excited for his own good." Mattsun takes a long swig and sucks air through his teeth, trying to savor the less than appealing flavor of IPA. It’s much too bitter, heavy enough that it sits in his stomach- but it does the job. "Sure you don't want a drink?"

"No, thanks. I have to be at the gym at 5am." Iwaizumi can barely rip his eyes off the screen long enough to pick out the mushrooms in his meal, placing them on a side plate, just like he does every week. As he flops down beside him, Mattsun unpauses the program and music fills the room.

Mattsun isn’t sure how this became a tradition, Wednesday night anime binging, but it was something he really looked forward to. It was a good break from the usual stress of the work week. They could just sit in silence for a couple hours, watch the anime they had recorded through the week, and relax; a rare treat for both of them.

The day sticks to him. It clogs his throat and makes every breath labored, every swallow thick. Usually, he can just ignore it, leave it in the corner of his mind to be lost to time.

But the coffin was so small.

Youth doesn't protect you. It gives you a fake shield of longevity, a shallow promise of tomorrow.

That little girl, face painted with a thick layer of makeup to make her cheeks seem rosy with live, probably had plans for the future, just like Makki does-

He tips the bottle back hard and takes a long drink. Iwa’s eyes meet his over the brown bottle before returning to the screen.

By the second episode and third beer, he’s feeling better. His brain can focus on the fuzzy numbness that pulses through his gums instead of how the parents today were his age, except they looked so much older, aged by tragedy -

Fuck.

He gets up mid-show to grab another. Iwaizumi doesn't look up, even when another bottle cap flies across the room.

The faux marble countertop is marred with multiple jagged chunks missing from the edge, cut all the way down to the wood. He wasn’t getting his security deposit back, but that was fine.

The alcohol must be hitting him already, Mattsun tells himself. That's the only reason his eyes kept wandering to where the hem of Iwa's shirt had ridden up, exposing just a whisper of skin and the middle of a happy trail. Sure, he had always known Iwaizumi to be an attractive guy, but the years of physical training certainly showed. Iwa wasn't his type, but he could definitely appreciate-

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Fuck. Mattsun shakes his head like a dog, trying to knock away whatever sort of nonsense was possessing him. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

Mattsun traces the half circle mark that’s formed on his palm. "I saw Makki the other day," he admits, "We talked for a while."

"Wow, really?" Iwa has forgotten all about the show. He’s moved up to the edge of his sheet, looking at his friend with disbelief. "Didn't think that would ever happen."

"Yeah, me neither," Mattsun drapes himself over the counter, knocking over the empty plastic containers, "He looks like shit."

"Did he tell you?"

Iwa doesn't need to clarify.

"Yeah."

Iwa nods solemnly, nibbling on the end of his chopstick as he thinks about what to say. It’s no secret that Iwa and Makki had stayed friends since graduation, but it was definitely a subject that wasn’t discussed.

A splinter of wood is pressing against Mattsun’s stomach, piercing through his shirt, but he doesn’t stand up. Instead, he digs more of his weight against it. The sharpness of the pain detracts him from the guilt.

“It’s sad.” It’s the only thing Mattsun can think of. “Tragedy.”

Iwa and Mattsun's friendship was usually based on being quiet. They were always surrounded by louder personalities, people who demanded attention, so they usually just enjoyed shutting up with each other. Mattsun can't remember talking about anything of merit with Iwa. Ever.

And that's the way they liked it.

"I'm glad you hung out. I think he's been lonely since-" Iwa stops himself.

"Since what?"

"It's not my place to tell you, just…." he says, "It's been a pretty bad year for Maks. I bet he's glad you made up."

"Let's not go that far. We just talked."

He doesn't mention the planning. Something about it feels sacred between them.

A question nips at the back of his mind. He shouldn’t address it, but-

"Hey, did Makki ever talk to you about me? About why we fought?" Mattsun, pretending to watch the television, rests his head in his hands. His palms are slick with sweat, nervous about the answer.

"No," he can see from the corner of his eye that Iwa is still watching him and yet a wave of relief crashes over him, "Whenever it came up he told me it was 'Mattsun's story to tell'."

Good. The secrets are still safe.

"Maybe I'll tell it at his funeral," Mattsun raises his empty bottle in a fake toast, "Make a whole big speech about why the man of the hour hates my guts."

"Matsukawa! That's- that's not funny. What's wrong with you?" Iwa sneers, "I don't want to think about that."

He shrugs. "Me neither."

The early morning is still painted black, the sun still tucked away behind the city’s skyline. The only light that peers into the room is from under the door, a low glow that creeps all the way from the kitchen. If he listens, Mattsun can almost make out the voices of Makki’s parents, keeping their voices low so as to not wake the rest of the house. From his place on the floor, nestled in a lumpy, half stuffed futon, Mattsun stares at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars had long lost their color, but he could still make out their borders. If he really focused, he could ignore that strangling tightness in his chest-

.

night

.

"Issei." Makki's voice cuts through the silence, groggy, "You awake?"

.

“Yeah.” he sighs, "Can't sleep."

"That futon sucks," Makki shuffles in his sheets before peering over the edge of his bed. Strange planes of his face are illuminated but the low light, and yet that tightness in his chest only gets worse. Sleepovers weren’t uncommon- in fact, they did them almost every night before a game, so they could make it to school together- but lately they were changing. More awkward pauses, more knees brushing against each other under the table as they did homework together, more quick turns away when the other was changing.

"Sucks major dick." Mattsun agrees.

Maybe all friendships go through this.

"Just sleep up here. We've slept closer on-"

Mattsun doesn’t let him finish justifying himself. He gets up, toting his pillow under his arm, and stands at the edge of the bed where Makki lays. The eagerness of his actions are so embarrassing, but that doesn’t slow him. Under the covers, Makki’s form was just a long, misshapen lump.

This is what friends do.

"Move over."

Friends sleep next to each other sometimes.

"This is my side."

"I'm not crawling over you- move over."

"Or what?” Makki teases under his breath, quiet enough not to be heard in the hall.

"Or I'm going to sleep on top of you."

"You wouldn't dare." He says it like an invite, with a smile.

Friends joke around like this.

Mattsun lifts his knee onto the raised part of the blanket, accidentally (accidentally?) separating Makki's legs. Time seems to stretch as he lowers himself down onto his elbows, giving Makki every chance to protest, but the blonde just watches with wide eyes and parted lips. He uses a melon flavored chapstick during the day. Does the flavor linger?

Chest against chest, so close yet parted by layers of fabric. Makki lets out a groan when the weight finally fully drops. It's an innocent sound, just a protest, but suddenly Mattsun is thankful for the space between them because he hides the way his body shutters.

This must be what a stroke feels like. Pressure builds behind his face, like his brain can't process everything happening right now.

Friends do this. Friends rough house, friends sleep.

“Would you still be my friend if I do something stupid?" Makki interrupts his thoughts with a hand. It hovers inches away from Mattsun's cheek, cupping the air. His fingers are trembling and Mattsun thinks, despite his confident grin, Makki might be nervous.

“How stupid?” Mattsun’s voice cracks, despite how low he keeps it. His face would fit perfectly in the palm of his hand if he were to just gather the courage to close the gap. He tries to repeat to himself, friends, friends, friends, but there’s a louder voice in the base of his head that asks for more, more, more.

“Like, actually stupid.”

Mattsun closes his eyes with a deep breath and headbutts Makki’s hand. The trajectory is off, his chin barely scrapes by his fingertips, but the touch is cool against his blushing skin, so cool that it burns into his memory. “I’ll always be your friend, even if you’re stupid.”

His left leg is halfway off of the bed, dangling there, but he doesn’t dare move. Makki’s trying his best to shift under his weight, pressing up onto his other elbow in sudden, jerking movements. Nothing happens for a moment and Mattsun worries he’s misread the situation, that the electricity in the air was all in his mind.

Then, so gently that he thinks it’s his imagination, breath tickles his nose right before lips meet his. Neither of them move at first, but waiting for a protest-

Friends don’t do this.

Makki doesn’t taste like melon, he tastes like sleep. The drag of his stubble against his chin is rough, so harsh compared to the plush softness of his lips, but he wants to feel more of it- feel it against his entire face, his neck, his chest-.

Excitement takes over. As he tries to deepen the kiss, teeth clash against teeth. Makki flops back down, holding his mouth.

“Ow, what the fuck-”

“Sorry- I’ve never-”

Makki runs his tongue over his front teeth, checking for any chips. “You suck at this.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“It’s fine,” His hand is pressed against the small of Mattsun’s back. His fingers are thick, yet long, the span of his hand taking up nearly half of his back. “We can practice.”

“I’m fine.” His voice is flat, far too blunt.

He doesn’t turn to face Mitsuri as he gathers himself, heartbeat still racing right under the skin, but he arches away from her touch. The bare skin of her thigh rubs against the back of his and he has to swallow back his sneer.

“You sure? I-”

“‘Kawa, sweetie.” a small hand, curled into a ball, is pressed into the center of his back when he jolts awake. “You’re talking in your sleep- are you okay?”

“Positive.”

“Oh,” she swallows. “I love you.” Dejection clings to her voice as she withdrawals back to her own side.

He doesn’t respond.

“I said I love you.” she repeats.

“Love you too.” he says, out of obligation more than anything.

What kind of monster wouldn't tell his fiance that he loved her?

[popatochisssp]

I need memes for the new boys. Meme me, Poppy. Meme me.

As always, I am ashamed at how well-equipped I am to answer this question...

Meme Fluent: Ash (Undergloom Sans), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans)

Can At Least Ask Where The Bathroom Is In Meme: Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Meme-blivious: Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Very savvy and up on all the most popular memes, scrolling through memes is an activity very low on the ‘activity’ part and great for when he’s feeling a little too tired to do anything else. He’s very into tiktoks, which help him keep up to date on the latest meme songs-- some of which he might try to learn to play on his own. In general, he’s also into memes with funny or weird-looking animals (frogs, possums, axolotls, etc), no specific kind of meme, the presence of a goofy-looking creature in it is usually good enough to get a smile or a chuckle out of him.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Not all that up to date on the meme scene, he’s usually busy with other things... but! He really loves relatable memes, especially ones about procrastination or not being able to focus on work or having to do chores, everyday mundane irritations that everybody can relate to! He also thinks reading comprehension errors are great harmless fun (i.e., “my bad i thought u said moths”), just silly misunderstandings that make for confusing interactions until someone realizes.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Doesn’t always remember every meme, but he gets the gist of most of them. His favorites are the MS Paint memes, usually the more poorly drawn, the better (but a fan of pretty much every catcrumb image he sees, those chaotic little cats are great). He can also be caught laughing himself to wheezing and banging on the table over completely bizarre and out of context interactions--for some reason, they just hit right on the funny bone and he has no defense against them. (The ‘Nyquil Detroit Become Liquid’ post nearly killed him, but he would’ve thanked it.)

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Not too interested in memes. He’s peripherally aware of them but rarely knows the latest trends or cares to know them. He does have a slight fondness for evil memes--ones about being evil or having an evil lair or just have the word ‘evil’ as an adjective in front of something else seemingly incongruous--he finds them silly and they can usually win at least a smirk out of him when he happens to come across one. If you want a laugh, though, find him some of those screenshots of old newspapers from the 30s-50s, formally written humor that still holds up even now (like The Windsor Star, Ontario, November 1, 1958, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, February 21, 1947, or Barnard Bulletin, New York, December 20, 1935). Sensible chuckles abound from those!

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): Not too into memery, he’s definitely got a lot of other things going on and isn’t always online. Still, he is a fan of stuff like one-time-i-dreamt and other accounts of peoples’ dreams or thought processes. He thinks it’s interesting, the little peek into the wandering, strange, and sometimes funny subconscious, or how people think about love and tenderness and nostalgia and remind others to appreciate those things, too. It’s a very niche, wholesome sort of enjoyment for sure... but not to worry! If you’re looking for something more mainstream and ‘haha funny,’ he also got very into the whole ‘Surprise! It’s cake!’ meme trend that was going on for awhile and is still delighted to find a video where a realistic object is cut into and turns out to be cake. He’s definitely going to make one himself, maybe as a social media marketing thing for his home business...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): Very meme savvy and tends toward some of the maybe darker types of humor--stress and anxiety memes, introvert memes, et cetera. Animated text is a big one he likes, with enough of a mix of pessimist and optimist memes that he doesn’t come away from checking it actually bummed out or feeling bad, a fine line to walk to be sure. He also likes coding and programming humor! He’s still kinda teaching himself, so he definitely doesn’t get them all, but it gives him a little sense of accomplishment and community when he does, which he really likes.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Not interested in memes, and a lot of them are heavily based on visuals which, unfortunately, he’s going to miss the context. Still, he does get a hell of a kick out of brazen and blatant misinformation--the smooth sharks post, facts-i-just-made-up, and the like--and finds it hilarious when someone insists something that is obviously untrue, especially if a lot of people aren’t getting the joke and are trying fervently to convince them of their wrongness. He’s also a little bit evil, so whenever he learns a new piece of whatever slang is popular and in at the moment, he’s going to use it incorrectly, or use outdated slang to induce cringe in those around him. ‘Totes yeet yo’? Yes. ‘That is so pog, as the kids say’? Of course. ‘It’s lit, fam’? Definitely, who do you take him for? The cringier, the better, he revels in the discomfort of others when he throws one of those babies out.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Definitely knows a little bit about memes, not always the latest trends but his base knowledge is pretty good, and of course has his favorites. He loves John Mulaney references and reaction images, they just Speak to him, y’know? Outside of that, he’s very fond of day-of-the-week memes, Tuesday Again?, Out of Touch Thursday, Fat Fuck Friday and so on. Aside from being a useful reminder of what the hell day of the week it is, he likes the consistency and recurrence of it, just a silly little moment to look forward to at some point like, “oh yeah, it’s el muchacho monday, nice!”

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Pretty wise to the meme scene overall, loves the fun and creativity of it all. If you want him to absolutely lose his shit, though, show him a terrible picture of an animal--by which I mean, poorly photoshopped, blurred, in mid-panoramic, as long as the end result is an absurd or very screwed up image. Why are things like ‘buff half cat’ and ‘dog but very, very long’ his sense of humor? He has no idea, but the worse it looks, the harder he laughs. He has a bit of a fondness for ‘gotcha’s too, like a Rickroll but really anything where you go into it expecting one thing, and get trolled by receiving something else. (If Megalovania memes were a thing in his universe, he would be all over them, if that gives you an idea of the kind of gag he thinks is funny!)

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Aware of memes, but not all that invested in them. He likes corporate and office/business memes a lot-- the kind that roast bosses and unnecessary meetings, translate ‘polite’ corporate phrases, anything to do with emails--because they can be very relatable. He also likes seeing screencaps of people on Facebook or Twitter getting dragged for misinformation, or trying to act like a pompous jerk and getting shredded (for legitimate reasons of course, not just random unprovoked cyberbullying). He...may be involved in a bit of that sometimes himself: he may not be working in a scientific field, but he is half of a scientist, and just petty enough to spend a few hours of his free time looking up and reading through a few credible sources to cite in a strong and well-crafted rebuttal argument if someone is being especially, dangerously wrong about something. Not everyone has the time and resources to do it, so why shouldn’t he? 😇

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 31

First

Previous

Next

Idk what happened. I was struggling to get this chapter to reach 1k words and then I blinked and it was 2k

... sorry?

Rena was the queen of pissing people off.

(She pinned most of it on her kwami, but it might just be because she had siblings. She’d been the baby for over ten years. It was the youngest’s job to piss off the older ones, it was basically in the job description.)

But even she knew that Chat had gone too far. She didn’t even have Chloe’s power of sensing emotions, but she knew from the moment Ladybug walked inside that shit was going to go down.

There are two types of anger.

Some people’s anger runs hot. Red faces and a voice raw from screaming and tears rolling down their cheeks. Rena’s anger ran hot, so did Chloe’s and Carapace’s. When Ladybug had stormed into the house, eyes full of fire, Rena had placed her in the hot anger category with them. She was fine with that. Preferred it, even. It was easy, predictable.

But it ended up not being predictable. She’d pointed the woman on her way and waited for the banging on the door, for the screaming to start.

… it never did.

Rena hesitated for only a few moments before heading up the stairs. For once, she was glad her kwami made it so people couldn’t easily sense her presence, because she did NOT want Ladybug’s anger to transfer over to her.

The woman’s hands were limp at her sides, her head resting against the door, her eyes squeezed shut. Rena watched, not daring to breathe…

And then Ladybug’s face forced itself into a neutral expression and she headed up to her room.

Rena watched her go and found herself almost scared of one of the people she’d used to idolize.

Ladybug had cold anger. Cold anger was everything that hot anger was not (obviously, cold and hot are opposites...). It was all thin lips and quiet words and dead eyes. And it was far, far worse for anyone involved. Because hot anger was traceable, there was a distinct escalation to follow until fists and words were thrown at each other. You knew when it was coming, you knew that when it did it would be over quickly.

But cold anger… it simmered under the surface. You may be able to detect when someone was experiencing it, but you’d never know when it would boil over or how.

Rena hoped that, whatever Ladybug did to retaliate (because she WOULD retaliate, pretty much everyone does at some point and she’d already had something against Chat), that it wouldn’t be too bad.

She made sure to be extra nice to the woman as she waited for something to happen. Ladybug probably knew why she was doing it, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t accept Rena’s offer to take patrols off of her hands when she’d noticed she was swamped with work or say no to the snacks she was giving her.

It was great. Rena’s chance of being murdered was like… 10%. Which she would take. It was better than Chat’s 90%.

~

Days passed, and the tenseness in the house did not leave.

Rena, obviously, was not a fan of the high tensions. No one likes to be in a tense place, and in Paris this was even worse. She was practically waiting for an akuma at all times.

On the other hand, it was a pretty good distraction. If she was constantly worried about what Ladybug was planning, then she wasn’t worrying about what Fu said --.

Damn it. Now she was worrying about what Fu said.

Because, as much as she hated it, the words they’d exchanged about her possibly getting corrupted felt far more real.

Back when she had only known about the other four miraculous holders, she hadn’t been worried. He’d gotten it right four times in a row; even Chloe, who was decidedly NOT a nice person, was very kind. All four of her predecessors were clearly chosen very carefully to fit the characteristics of their miraculi while also possessing heroic traits. Why would he drop the ball with the last hero?

But, no, now she had to live with the fact that he wasn’t totally infallible when it came to choosing heroes. Had Pieris been a fluke? Had the other miraculous heroes been the flukes?

Pieris had had the easiest miraculous to control. She had the hardest. Would she be able to stay sane while using it?

Part of her hummed that she’d already slipped some. That her time watching Chat had been an abuse of power and she knew it. So why had she done it?

Because it was necessary, the other part of her whispered. It was for the good of Paris.

… was she even completely sure that part of her WAS her?

She curled her fingers around the miraculous that hung around her neck like a noose.

And then Ladybug walked into the room and thank FUCK a distraction. Chat tensed up from his spot at the window.

… Ladybug brushed past him, her lips pressed together thinly as she made her way to the kitchen.

Rena couldn’t stop wondering about Chat. He had a tiny frown on his face as he watched the doorway she’d disappeared through. She wondered, vaguely, why he’d done it. It was a bad idea, anyone with two brain cells to rub together would know that, so why?

But she wasn’t really close enough to ask. So, she was left to just look on the internet for some theories.

(Her personal favorite was ‘it’s flirting!!!!!!’. The LadyNoir stans were always fun. Wrong, but fun.)

~

Four days in, Ladybug struck…

How did she know? Chat screamed at five o’clock.

She groaned and shuffled out of bed, rubbing her eyes as she slowly poked her head out the door to see what had happened.

Chat was standing in the doorway to his room after a long patrol… and it looked like he’d dropped into a pool of glitter… or, as her eyes took in the amount of glitter around his feet and the polka dotted tote bag resting on top of his head like a hat that was much too large for him to pull off, a pool’s worth of glitter had been dropped on him.

There was a beat before he slowly pulled the bag off of himself and tossed it into the room. And… wow, there was even more glitter than she’d thought.

It stuck to everything about him (the sweat probably didn’t help). She no longer felt like she should be rubbing her eyes because damn did he need it more. Not that it would help all that much, his hands were just as coated in glitter and it would probably only hurt him more.

There was a click of Chloe’s door opening and the woman stared at the scene before she mumbled a ‘it’s too early for this’ and closed the door again, presumably to go back to sleep.

Carapace walked out, the bags under his eyes more pronounced than usual and the cup of coffee in his hand was the size of a water bottle. It was midterms for him. He was… not taking it well.

“Sorry, Carapace, go ahead and go back to studying. Didn’t mean for him to come home so early,” called Ladybug. She was sitting in the ladder to the attic, legs swinging idly. She tipped her head to the side as she considered him. “Go back to studying. If you need help, I’m good with math and science.”

He looked between her and Chat, who was struggling to blink his eyes open without permanently going blind.

“Do you really want to get on my bad side, too?” Mused Ladybug. “You don’t need anything distracting you from school right now…”

Carapace winced at the threat. He continued to look between the two of them before sighing and slouching a bit. “Can I at least help him get to the sink? He’s going to blind himself.”

She clicked her tongue but nodded. “Sure, I guess.”

Rena hesitated. “May I take a video?”

Ladybug fixed her eyes on her and she fought the urge to shrink back into her room or look away.

And then she shrugged. “Sure. News is kinda your thing, right?”

Rena tensed a little, her brain screeching to a halt. Did Ladybug know about her Ladyblogger days? There was no way she did, right? Sure, Ladybug had known her a little bit back in the day because Rena had often hung out around akumas for her blog, but surely it wasn’t well enough to figure out her identity, right --?

… wait, no, she was still talking about the TikTok. Ladybug looked very confused about her sudden freeze up and Rena had to think of an explanation FAST.

She pulled a bright smile to her face. “Yeah. Not allowed to do as much as I’d like, but y’know… it is what it is.”

Ladybug still looked a little confused, but she shrugged to herself and started heading up to her room.

~

The video on Rena’s account was just a video of the aftermath in short cuts.

“Ladybug got Chat back for that video he posted about her!” She explained to the camera.

Chat was covered head-to-toe with glitter outside of a small area around his eyes. He was also struggling to figure out how brooms worked, it seemed. Rena had considered helping but honestly it was kind of funny to watch him attempt to sweep something with the wrong end and how did he not know how a BROOM worked it was a BROOM --?

“Regretting it?” Said Rena, sitting down beside him.

He wore an irritable expression, though that was hard to look at all intimidating when he looked like a child’s arts and crafts project. “A little, yeah.”

“It was dumb to mess with her.”

“A little, yeah.”

She laughed a little at that.

He brought up a hand to rub his eyes tiredly, because he wasn’t as used to not sleeping as Carapace and Ladybug were, and Rena had to grab his arm to stop him so he didn’t die by glitter-in-eyes-syndrome.

… but now she was kind of regretting it. Because her hand was all glittery.

He gave her a tiny smile.

“Thanks. And, uh, sorry about the hand.” He looked down at the broom and dustpan he was apparently still unsure about how to use. “Well, at least it’s over, right?”

Rena privately disagreed. But she didn’t say that aloud, instead she just smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek… which she also regretted.

The camera caught her vague choking noises and curses for a few seconds before it cut.

Carapace was struggling to write an essay because of all the glitter on his hands.

“Fuck I should’ve let it go I should’ve let it go fuck c’mon I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to my professor fuckkkkkkk --.”

“Do it online.”

He whipped around, brandishing his pencil like a weapon, and only slightly relaxed when he realized it was her. “When did you --? Nevermind, whatever.” He sighed. “My teacher is old so he only accepts stuff on paper. It’s stupid.”

Rena reached out and gave him a little head pat.

The video cut briefly to a video of Chloe sleeping and decidedly not helping anyone with anything.

Ladybug was only there for a few moments. Rena had gone up to see her in a red crop top and black leggings. She sent her a smile and a wave despite the fact that she was currently doing her best impersonation of a pretzel. “Hey! You filming a video, too?”

Rena stared at her, wondering how she’d managed to get that flexible, and then realized she was talking to her and quickly nodded. “Yeah yeah yeah, just reporting on the incident… how’re you feeling?”

She watched Ladybug do a back roll and by the time she was finished all of her limbs were miraculously untangled, which was insane and should be impossible but I digress. “Great, honestly! I mean, it was bad that the internet got to see me on an off day and all, but…” She shrugged. “I feel much better now.”

She smiled at the camera and waved it goodbye.

The video ended.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali

[star-spangledstud]

Better Than Me (2/2)

Part one is here!

Summary: You really are better than them. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x (female!)Reader.

Word Count: 3000-ish.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

It was ridiculous. So ridiculous that it bordered near downright insane. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Impractical, stupid and completely, utterly ridiculous. Beautiful, sparkly and downright amazing, but ridiculous. You fucking loved it.

The baby pink, bejeweled handgun sat inside a pink velvet box on your lap. The bow, which was also pink, of course, was lying at your feet, which were clad in bedazzled silver Louboutins. Gems of all colors on the rainbow covered it on all sides, from the barrel to the handgrip and along the safety pin.

You gazed up at Tony, who wore an amused expression on his face, before glancing over at Pepper. She had her hand over her mouth in embarrassment, clearly horrified by Tony’s gift choice. The card read that it was from both of them. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. 

“Happy birthday, kid.” He said with a smirk that nearly extended from ear to ear.

“I don’t even want to know how much you spent on that,” Pepper muttered, shaking her head while you took the thing out of the pink and white polka-dotted tissue paper.

The others sighed audibly when you smiled, annoyed that Tony’s gift overshadowed theirs yet again. To be fair, they’d all expected it, but all of them secretly hoped any one of their gifts would be your favorite. 

“I love it,” you said, twirling the weapon around in your hand, “and I agree with Pepper, I can’t even imagine how much you spent on this thing...”

“You’ll make it work,” he mused, “Two million dollars, by the way, and you could just thank me.”

Your breath caught in your throat and for a moment, you were sure Pepper was going to faint. Natasha shook her head, watching the scene unfold in horror. It was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. Wanda, who seemed to share none of her feelings, had created a monster out of you.

“Thanks, Tony,” you blew him a kiss, unable to get up from your seat at the dinner table that was covered in white roses in silver vases and wine that came from expensive bottles.

“It’s very pretty,” the witch said, “Can I hold it?” 

“Please,” you shoved it into her hands, “by all means.” 

“You’re insane, Tony,” you said as you took the gift Bruce had gotten for you from his outstretched hands with a smile, “Absolutely fucking nuts, but I love you for it.”

Your eyes went around the room, finding Steve at the end of the table of which you sat at the head. You were the birthday girl, after all, the pink satin sash draped around you said so in large, cursive letters and so it was your turn to have the most important seat of the house. It was a ridiculous ordeal, he thought so anyway, but you were smiling and chatting and enjoying the company of your friends and it was good to see. He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened and knew very well he was to blame. 

He was the one who pushed you away, even though it was for your own good.

You took Thor’s gift just as the waiter began to serve your first course, and since he was seated closest to you, you thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Steve’s gift came last. You didn’t expect anything from him given the circumstances.

Four hours, six courses and many glasses of wine and Asgardian mead later, you found yourself back in your room. Gifts given to you by your fellow team members were sprawled out on your bed, ranging from a pair of silk pajamas with glittery Ugg slippers to match from Wanda to Starbucks and Sephora gift cards from Sam and everything in between. Chocolate covered strawberries in a glittery box, two romance novels, a bottle of beautifully aged red wine from Asgard and a peach-toned Dior lipstick, all tokens of appreciation given to you by the people you cared about the most. 

Despite the hardships that you faced the previous year and the social distancing that occurred during that time, you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be with the team again. You’d changed a lot in a year, grown to be a different person than the one you were before. It wasn’t necessarily a good or a bad thing in your mind, it just happened naturally.  

You sat down beside the velvet box, eyes automatically flying towards the item on your far left. A drawing of you, sitting on a terrace, staring out into the sunny skyline with a cup of coffee in your hand. It was an old drawing by the looks of it because your hair was much shorter and a different shade and your clothing was far plainer than it was now; black jeans and a white t-shirt. A signature that read SR sat in the bottom right corner in messy, doctor-like handwriting. It made your toes curl. 

Of course, he was the one with the overly personal gift. You didn’t know whether it was because he simply had no fucking clue what 21st-century women liked to receive for their birthdays or whether he’d purposely done it to make you remember the day it was drawn, but the latter happened and now, you were sitting on your bed with prickling eyes and goosebumps that lined your skin.

You remembered that day very vividly. You’d only been an Avenger for three months and were struggling to adjust to the fact that you had to suddenly follow orders. Before joining the team, you’d worked alone, hired by people with deep pockets and dark intentions. You made your own rules. 

The first time Steve had taken you out for coffee he kind to offer you advice. At first, you thought it felt a little like he was trying to be the human resource manager with the way he talked to you, you continued to meet up every Saturday afternoon and as the weeks passed, something in the dynamic changed.  He loosened up, got rid of his Captain America persona and instead became Steve. You didn’t know what caused the change, but it was good, allowed you to actually get to know the man behind the suit and vice versa. 

That particular day was a good one, It was a sunny day in spring, not too hot and not too cold, with a soft breeze that carried the scent of fresh flowers across the terrace. You’d ordered a latte, Steve liked it black. You weren’t talking, but instead, a comfortable silence hung between you. You’d brought a book just like you always did and read it while occasionally eyeing the people that passed you by. Steve, whose cheeks had become fiery red out of the blue, pulled out a leather-bound sketchbook and began to draw.

You never asked him what he was drawing, even when he stored away his pencils and shoved the book back inside his tote did you not bother to pry. Not even when you became so close you’d sometimes fall asleep together on the couch, did you not ask. 

You knew now, but they didn’t say ignorance is bliss without reason.

You began to mindlessly pick at three layers of lavender toned sparkling nail polish, pulling at it as it came off your fingers with far too much ease. You’d paid the lady $60 for your manicure three days prior and now, you were ripping it off. With a deep sigh, you pushed yourself up, gripping the back of your heels so you could slip them off with ease. You’d probably never wear them again. 

You slowly began to clean up the mess, discarded packaging, boxes, and gift bags and placing them in the corner of your room near the door. You put everything away except for the drawing, which you couldn’t decide what to do with. Why was it such a big deal to you, anyway? You hardly spoke to Steve anymore and if you did, it was during pre- and post-mission briefings. Maybe that’s why it made you feel so strange. it didn’t feel right, such a personal, intimate gift after how far the two of you had drifted apart. 

He hadn’t asked you about Netflix in four months and you hadn’t offered your expertise on which shows and movies were the best. You didn’t bring him coffee anymore but instead, he made his own, never leaving enough in the pot for you to make a cup as well. The message he sent you was loud and clear and in return, you were an open book. 

He’d grumble when a stranger was seated at the breakfast table on Sundays courtesy of your hospitality, avert his eyes when they tried to kiss you openly (which you refused). The pang in his chest would hit him when he saw Ubers out front whose engines were running to carry you to your dates in high-end restaurants and fancy bars. He wasn’t jealous, he kept telling himself. He was just worried about your safety when you disappeared into the night with strange men. Men that weren’t him, ironically. 

He should’ve seen you when you were right in front of him. When you were there, literally waiting for him to make a move on you, begging him with your mannerisms and your looks, your glances, and smiles even when his jokes weren’t funny. He knew damn well you would make an amazing couple, that you could take on the entire fucking world as a duo, but he was too scared to put it on the line, too scared of what might happen once the bad guys caught a whiff of your relationship. They’d already tried to destroy Bucky and Jesus Christ, they nearly succeeded. He couldn’t handle the thought of losing you to an organization like HYDRA, or worse. He never told you this. You had no idea. You were convinced he didn’t want you because of your flaws. Because of who you were. 

You got over it, shut out the thought of ever holding hands with Steve in public, the thoughts of ever feeling his lips softly pressing against your plump cheeks and his body weighing down on top of you while his voice vibrated against your ear and neck. You managed to forget about him, managed to exchange the memories and fantasies of him for diamond necklaces, silk blazers, and expensive shoes. You traded him in for strangers with big bank accounts driving nice cars wearing expensive suits. They managed to fill the void he created by pushing you away. 

So yeah, the gift bothered you. It was too nice, too sweet, so sweet you had to struggle to stay stoic when thanking him earlier. You literally had to stop yourself from smiling too big, from allowing tears of gratitude and happiness to completely ruin your make-up. if things had been different, you would have done those things. They weren’t. He didn’t want you and now he was being nice. It didn’t make sense. 

Just as you were about to change into a different outfit for the evening, your phone vibrated. You picked it up off your nightstand and opened it. It was a text message, but not from the guy who would be knocking on the front door in the coming hour.

I didn’t get a chance to personally wish you a happy birthday. Can we talk? -S

You gripped the device so hard you nearly crushed the screen. Six months ago, a message like this would’ve had you crying on your bathroom floor for four hours. Now, it just made you angry. So angry, that you picked your studded Louboutin off the floor and chucked it at the wall. The heel broke off against the concrete, but you didn’t notice. You weren’t going to wear them again anyway.  

Your fingers typed furiously, breathing coming out in shallow huffs. Images of the girls he’d brought back to Tony’s party’s flashed before your eyes while your fingers went faster than your brain could keep up with. 

Roof. Omw. 

Whether he understood the abbreviation ‘omw’ or not, you didn’t take the time to guess. You left your room without changing into the other dress or putting on new shoes. The elevator went up agonizingly slowly, but it was too late to go back and take the stairs. The buttons were pushed and the door closed. 

He was standing by the edge, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. In contrast to you, he had changed his attire, leaving the light blue button-down he was wearing earlier for a plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants. He looked down at your feet, noticed how your polished toes were bare and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when he caught the expression on your face. You weren’t surprised to find him there first. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d come up there running. Apparently, though, he did know what ‘omw’ meant.

“What the hell is this?” You asked, waving your phone in front of his face, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

“What do you mean?” He asked, voice wavering. 

“What do I mean? What...,” you snorted, “What do you mean?! The gift, the talking? We shouldn’t be here.” 

“But why?” He knew why but chose to ignore the sensical part of his brain that told him he shouldn’t be doing this.

You lifted your arms, a deep breath leaving you while you considered what to say. You wanted to come up with an excuse, tell him you were busy or that you’d lost sight of not just him, but the entire team, but fuck it, lying wouldn’t get you anywhere. It had never gotten you anywhere before.  

“Because I have to get over you.” 

He was silent, taking in your words. They stung, even though he already knew the truth they carried. 

“I couldn’t have you constantly hanging around me anymore. I couldn’t stand seeing those girls hanging off your arm at those stupid parties and I sure as hell didn’t want to hear how fun they were and how great and wonderful and how amazing, and-”

He stepped forward, gripping your arms. The sudden contact made blood rush to your head, making you nauseous and dizzy simultaneously. 

 “I spent so much time wondering why they were better than me,” you mumbled, “I still haven’t figured it out.” 

“They aren’t better than you,” he replied softly, “they don’t even compare to you.” 

You looked up, eyes large and glossy and so goddamn pretty with that champagne eyeshadow and winged liner and Steve thought he was going to lose his mind then and there.

“I had to let you go because I’m afraid,” he admitted, “terrified of what might happen if anyone tries to get to you because of me.” 

“Steve,” you tried, but couldn’t find words. 

All this time, you thought he didn’t like you. That he wasn’t interested in you, didn’t want anything from you but a friendship at most. You’d taught yourself to ignore your constant desire for him because it would never be reciprocated.

“When you distanced yourself from me, I knew I’d messed up, but it was too late. I’d dug a hole for myself and there was nothing I could do to get back out,” he snorted, “I needed those girls as a distraction, but none of them are as good as you.” 

He smiled sadly, taking your hands in his larger, calloused palms and began to rub circles on your knuckles. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I’ve been stupid and an ass and I don’t deserve to even be in the same room as you. I fucked up, Y/N.”

The skin on the back of his neck was soft when you clasped your fingers around it, muscles tensing up when you began to pull him down to meet you. Without heels on, you’d lost a significant amount of height on him, causing him to tower over you. On a hot day, he could be your personal parasol, shielding you from the sun with his entire body.

“Idiot,” you mumbled before his mouth found yours. 

He kissed you, hands gripping your waist out of fear that if he were to let go, he’d wake up in his bed alone. But it wasn’t a dream, he knew it because the soft feeling of your glossy lips against his own was unlike anything he’d ever felt. 

“Idiot,” you said again when you took a moment to breathe. 

“I am,” he kissed you again, the sweet taste of Chardonnay and that night’s dessert - creme brulee and vanilla ice cream - still lingering on your tongue, sending his senses in complete overdrive. 

“I don’t want to stay away from you anymore,” he said finally, “I’d never let anyone hurt you.” 

You smiled, heart ready to explode from the sudden burst of happiness you experienced for the first time in a long time. Maybe Wanda was right all along. 

“Steve, I can defend myself. You know that, right?” You mused.

“I’ll kill them if they try.” 

He captured your lips with his again. The scent of his cologne, oud, and pine, nearly caused your knees to buckle from under you. You didn’t even realize the goosebumps that lined your skin, or the fact that the date you were supposed to meet up with had already bailed on you. It didn’t matter, because you finally had Steve where you wanted him. It only took for the two of you to drift apart almost completely for you to realize that you could never truly get away from one another. 

You placed your head on top of his chest, allowing his body heat to warm you up in a hug that engulfed you. It was nice, the feeling of his chest rising and falling slowly while you watched the city’s skyline in the dark. The want for it had been suppressed for so long you almost forgot what it felt like. 

“Steve?” You asked, peeking up at him through false eyelashes and three layers of waterproof mascara. 

“Hmm?”

“Your gift was my favorite.”

Yeah, all of those bitches definitely weren’t better than you. 

[magniloquent-raven]

@bambixxblue wrote this absolutely gorgeous piece and i got a little carried away writing my take on billy’s pov and so here we are lol pls enjoy!!

--

Billy always figured rock bottom for him would be something Shakespearean. Self-inflicted tragedy. Family bullshit gone too far. Madness and mayhem and spectacle. 

He did not picture this. Dying slowly of boredom, too fucking exhausted to even stay pissed at Max. When he got to Hawkins all he had was his anger. With the ocean two thousand miles away and his first and only relationship ended with an awkward, “Clean break, y’know? Don’t really...want to do long distance.” The guy couldn’t even make eye contact when he said it. But then, he never could stomach looking at Billy’s bruises. 

It felt empty. Their breakup. Billy barely felt anything afterwards, and that numbness had...grown. Spread. Without any of the things he used to give a shit about, he’s drifting tetherless and cold and so fucking lonely. He hit rock bottom in Hawkins, Indiana, when he shrugged off Max’s needling because he just can’t bring himself to fucking care anymore. 

She’s noticed, he knows she has, he isn’t subtle. He isn’t terrorizing her anymore and she’s started to poke at him again. Hesitant, asking about innocuous shit, trying to figure out if he’s forgiven her, but he can’t tell her it isn’t as simple as that. So he ignores her. 

As much as he can, anyways, he’s still playing the big brother in front of Neil. Driving her around and shit, pretending he isn’t counting the days until he graduates and he can ditch her. This town. Everything. 

He hasn’t found anything in Hawkins worth sticking around for. It’s not like he has friends here. Tommy and his posturing, Carol and her wandering eyes, they don’t give a fuck about him. None of the people who hang around him do, they’re just idiots trying to seem cooler than they are. Or get in his pants.

Makes pretending easy, at least. It’s not like there’s a shortage of girls to hit on. 

Even though he kind of wishes there were. Wishes going through the motions didn’t make him feel so sick, didn’t leave his stomach hollow and his heart heavy. With girls back in California it was...whatever. It was fine. Something to do. It made him feel wanted, and that was enough sometimes. But now… now he knows what it’s supposed to feel like, and he hates how wrong anything else is. 

There was this one girl, Heather, and talking to her was actually nice. They got along well enough that he didn’t have to fake laughing at her jokes, smiled a little more real around her. Except the whole time she was playing with her hair, and biting her lip, and he had to act like that was what he was focused on, not the fact that they could actually be friends if that was something he was letting himself do. 

Because Hawkins isn’t worth his time. It isn’t. Fuck this town and fuck Indiana and fuck trying to make this shithole more bearable because having one conversation with someone he actually got along with opened up a chasm in his fucking chest. He cried himself to sleep that night. Felt everything he’d been pushing away since he moved to Hawkins. All the ways he missed California, and feeling like he belonged somewhere. 

The taste of salt made it worse. He hated crying. Biting his lip hard enough to draw blood and holding his breath until it hurt because he couldn’t make a fucking sound or Neil would hear him. He’d always hated it. But especially now. When the taste of salt makes him ache for things he can’t have anymore. Nights by the pier, stolen kisses that tasted like cheap beer and the saltwater still on their lips. Afternoons spent teaching Max to surf. The precious few memories of his mother, sunshine in her hair and sand between their toes. 

He avoided Heather after that. Hadn’t exactly started keeping to himself as much as...trying to disappear into a role. The one Hawkins High had assigned him. Brash outsider, newcomer, bad boy, whatever. He made damn sure that was all anyone would see him as. Acted the part. Didn’t talk about anything that mattered. 

And he kept driving Max around. To school, mostly, since they were both going to the same one, which was fucking weird, but made shit easier. To the arcade sometimes. And to her little nerd club.

She’s talked about it, he’s sure, but he couldn’t be bothered to listen. It was enough that he got her there, he didn’t need to know what she was doing once he dropped her off.

But she still chatters away, gushing about having friends and talking to people who get her. He’s not jealous. He isn’t. 

He turns the music up a little and ignores her scowl at the obvious brush-off.

He also ignores how hard she slams the door when she gets out. It’s passive-aggressive, but they’ve perfected being assholes to each other in several languages by now. She doesn’t flip him off as she stomps away though, and he’s not sure if that’s progress. 

Billy’s itching for a cigarette. Neil hates it when he smokes around the house, and if he brings Max back stinking like Marlboro Reds... well it wouldn’t be good. So he can’t even smoke in his own fucking car.

But it’s cold as fuck in Indiana and his leather jacket isn’t enough.

He shifts in his seat. Fuck it. He’ll wait. He can smoke anywhere that isn’t the high school fucking parking lot. He’s about to take off, one hand on the steering wheel, when he looks up and-- 

Oh. Fuck. 

There’s another car in the parking lot. There’s… fuck the car, there’s this guy in the driver’s seat, and--

Forget Indiana being cold, he’s suddenly warmer than the California sun, could heat the whole damn state with what’s unfurling in his chest. 

Because...because holy fuck. 

He was already looking at Billy, with big fuckin’ doe eyes, soft lashed and expressive, and sparkling with something Billy doesn’t quite have a name for. 

And somewhere in the back of his brain he remembers Tommy whining about some guy, some guy who drove a beemer, always toting those kids around. Max talking about one of her friends’ babysitter or whatever, talked about him like he hung the fucking moon, and--

And Billy kind of gets it now. Understands the fuss over Steve goddamn Harrington. 

The smile tugging at the corners of Steve’s mouth-- that mouth, goddamn-- is...it’s soft and small, and weirdly intimate considering they’re making eye-contact through two sheets of glass. Billy almost feels like he’s intruding on a moment, except...the warmth in Steve’s eyes is inviting. Makes him feel more at ease than he’s been in...ever. 

Jesus fucking Christ, the way the September sun makes Steve shine, his thick brown hair well-kept and glossy, the faded remnants of a summer tan making his skin glow. He’s beautiful. Like a work of fucking art, somehow made flesh and living in Indiana of all places. Billy could spend hours looking at the lines of his profile, the cut of his shoulders, the way his hair falls across his forehead.

Three seconds and one smile. That’s all it took to make him waver. To light him up and make him forget about not caring, about keeping his distance and running the second he gets the chance.

He’s run from a lot of things in his life. Some things he regrets, but he knows he wouldn’t regret anything like he’d regret running from this. 

So he smiles back. Almost. Enough. Enough to bring a pretty flush to Steve’s cheeks. 

Yeah, this is going to be fun.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 8 Thoughts Part 2

Well, this is it. Last part of the last season (that has come out) and I haven’t even watched any of it (though, I have heard things). Part 1 can be found here.

8x14:

- Why is this opening with a concert scene when literally the second to last scene in the previous episode was a musical number? At least there was that cute Stella and Brandon moment after to make up for it.

- This is actually a legitimate issue but I do not expect the show to handle the fact that Sky has clashing responsibilities on his shoulders well. They’re already implying that it’s more important for him to be a Specialist rather than a prince and that is not true. Eraklyon will suffer without a good king. Though, on the other hand... how good a king would Sky be? Maybe this is better, after all. At least someone actually interested in doing the job can take over.

- They legit made Erendor a lot thinner than he originally was? And somehow ruined his design also. As well as Diaspro’s. Ugh, why is there gonna be drama with her again????????????????? How many times?!?!?! For fuck’s sake! Just let it end!

- Seriously? They’re all blaming Stella for Bloom’s gloom? Stella has the right to talk about her own relationship as well. And when the fuck have Musa and Riven ever talked? Not to mention that now Riven is trying to communicate with her but she doesn’t even want to give him a chance!

- Valtor has become more cringe than he used to be. At least the Trix seem to have become smarter. We didn’t need him to tell us who they were, however. Also, why does he think that they will not use the star for themselves.

- His new powers literally come from stolen star energy and he just said that stars are made from the sparks that witch and fairy magic are also made of. Aka his magic should be compatible with that of Winx and the Trix as well.

- Oh, great! Now they belong to him. They really didn’t have to make season 8 Valtor a Darkar 2.0 and yet, they thought it was a good idea. I just... nggggggh!

- The Wishing Star... is a woman? And wait, what... They’re saying that Valtor is over a 1000 years old now? Yeah, ‘cause a 1000-year-old sorcerer/demon will totes lose against a bunch of high-schoolers. Makes fucking sense.

- How did Stormy summon an asteroid field?

- What... the hell just happened? Don’t tell me the Star made herself fall apart in the different colors of the color spectrum and they’ll need to gather all of them in the stupid star-shaped box!

- Twinkly is back on Lumenia? Did we really need her back? And why is the star-shaped box chasing her?

- If I were Sky, I probably would be scared to tell Bloom that it is Diaspro texting. She can have terrible reactions to just the thought of Diaspro. Though, to be fair I have no idea why Sky keeps speaking to Diaspro. He has every right to just cut her off completely after what she did in seasons 3 and 6.

- Brandon, you know very well who Diaspro is! And no, I don’t care that they are giving a really crashing crash course to the new audience. This is terrible! Also, you have to love how Sky didn’t even think about calling Erendor to ask about the mission. He just took Diaspro’s word for it. Because she is sooooo trustworthy.

- I was almost right. Instead of colors they are going to be collecting Prime Stars instead. I still got the right idea, though. It is a bit... lame.

- Enchantix looks a lot less elegant and a lot more... second-hand fabric sewn together poorly. Also, I hate the fact that they had the transformation song from the first movie and not the original. And they basically used the same sequence as the one for Sirenix but they are only popping their Enchantix on instead.

- “I didn’t think it would be so easy.” Same! Finding that Compass was the easiest thing ever and it doesn’t matter that things will get heated now that the Trix are here because the Compass didn’t pose a challenge of its own.

8x15:

- I am living for the dramatic opening of this episode.

- Why aren’t the rest of Winx covering Bloom so that she can grab the Compass? Five against the Trix should be enough for her to take it.

- Really? You can’t figure out who freed them? I love that they told Bloom to ask herself. That was great!

- I was getting excited that Valtor showed up but it was just an illusion of Darcy’s. Anyway, the question that came to me involves the Trix as well so... How come they followed Winx in the box since Winx needed to use Enchantix to miniaturize?

- So it turns out that it wouldn’t have been so easy to take the Compass even though it looked that way in the beginning.

-Tecna!!!!!!!!!!!! What Musa is hearing is the key to getting the Compass, you idiot! It is important and not something to leave for later!

- They’re just gonna chase after it without paying attention to what the voice told them? Fucking amazing! And Bloom is sending her Dragon after it? I am so glad that this is not working!

- Lmaooooo @ Layla catching Bloom in a baseball glove. XD

- Why are they so fucking dumb? The whole thing is controlled by the notes Musa heard SINCE IT’S A FUCKING MUSIC BOX, NOT LIKE THERE’S MUCH TO IT! and they just need to figure out the pattern. That’s what they were told. “Only the one who listens” Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- I love the spells they’re using, though. They seem to be more creative with their powers here and it is actually interesting enough to distract from their zero comprehension skills and abilities to make deductions.

- Oh, I love the balance thing in the labyrinth! And the Compass hitting Icy on the head was just priceless! But why are you so rude to Stormy, Icy? Don’t be like that.

- Yes, you will make the same mistakes because you are still not FUCKING listening goddammit!!!!!!!!!

- Oh, come on! Don’t tell me Bloom will be the one solving this!

- Good! It was actually Musa that fixed the whole thing. I still cannot make sense of the musical theme of this challenge in-verse but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be so I’m gonna close my eyes for that.

- Why didn’t they try to capture the Trix or something? They just let them go.

- Arken got this right in no time at all and knew it had been Valtor who had freed the Trix. Why is he the only one thinking?

- Is Valtor really going to try to pit the Trix against each other once again? God, please, tell me that they will not be falling for that this time! It is ridiculous!

- Why would Wizgiz be in a trashcan? And they just destroyed the entire classroom looking for him while I suspect he is actually truly just running late... Yep, got that right.

- Don’t tell me Bloom will see Sky with Diaspro at Red Fountain! He’s supposed to be on a mission, not at school!... Oh, good. He’s not there. But why is Bloom weeping? He is on a secret mission! It may endanger the job, him or anyone that knows anything to reveal details! Can she just not be a baby for 3 seconds?

8x16:

- HE’S ON A MISSION! HE MIGHT BE TIED UP!!!!!!! CHILL FOR A FEW MINUTES!!!

- Diaspro is actually climbing? She could just fly! But I guess they didn’t want to draw her fairy form. Don’t tell me they’re retconning her being a fairy! I will smack someone if that’s true!

- She legit threw herself off the rocks just to make sure Sky wouldn’t text Bloom? Crazy much? What if he hadn’t managed to catch you? Girl, you need some perspective! Sky is so not worth this.

- Griffin looks and sounds horrible. And why the actual hell is she exactly as tall as Faragonda?!?!?!?! She used to be half a head taller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Disguise? You call that disguise? You changed your goddamn hair color!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And what is worse - IT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did Stella not recognize them? You’d think that she will when she is supposed to be such an expert on fashion and makeovers! And this didn’t even have magic involved in it! (they could have changed their hair without magic is what I’m saying)

- Wait, they actually extended the Cosmix song? Is that new or did I just not notice because I’ve been skipping the transformation sequence?

- I LOVE Griffin and Faragonda’s opening! They are both showcasing the fact that they’re opposites and also being the dramatic bitches that they are and I am so here for it! Yes, this is everything I have wanted (if only it could have been in the old art style).

- The plants won’t speak to Flora? I actually like the fact that they have to work all together AND it is not convergence! This is more like it!

- No! I don’t want the Trix fighting because of Valtor again!

- Why is Stormy playing twister? XD But I love the implication that there are different tests given to anyone who enters but they all require teamwork! That is awesome! Just, please, make something good with it!

- I just thought that Winx were really gonna beat the Trix with a lot this time but it turned out they are not paying attention to their colors! This is kinda like the finale of season 2, except it doesn’t feel as dumb for some reason. Maybe because Stella is just as useful as everyone else.

- Another game? I actually like this? There is the need for logic to be applied here.

- I wish the Trix would just stop fighting! Well, it’s just Icy and Darcy. Stormy is being calm and thinking! I honestly thought that their portal would close while they were fighting but it sucked them in instead.

- They’re gonna be having more fun with the spheres again. Just like with the Compass, I have a feeling there is a catch here.

- Wait, what did Darcy do? Weren’t they supposed to work together? How did she figure that out on her own? That didn’t make sense but okay.

- I love how Valtor is actually gonna fuck himself over because he is trying to make the Trix fight but in order to find the Prime Stars they’ll need to collaborate. This is some delicious irony!

- And Winx found it!

- If I were Diaspro, I would actually have a fake map at the very least instead of a heart of me and Sky on the parchment. If he takes one look, he’ll know she’s deceiving him!

8x17:

- They’re having a test about their biggest insecurities in the episode in which they’ll be looking for the Prime Star of Confidence? And why are these things always about Stella? The Gem of Confidence back in season 5 was also on Solaria and she was the one to get it. Also, I am not thrilled about the fact that they will be pushing each star on a single girl from now on since there are six more to get after the first one that they had to get through teamwork.

- Musa’s biggest insecurity is making mistakes? They could have done something that would speak about why she is so unwilling to get back with Riven but no. Instead Bloom’s biggest insecurity is about Sky because of course it is! God forbid she has something else on the brain!

- Why are we doing the Stella and her parents’ divorce again? And in the exact same old way we have already seen it back in seasons 1 through... about 5? Issues evolve! They could have put a new spin on it!

- How is making a dress going to solve this?

- At least Stella asked for help after she figured out she can’t do it on her own! And I always love seeing Tecna and Stella moments! Stella and Musa are good too!

- We’ve seen that dress already. Stella wore it in season 6. Come on, writers!

- Ah, I see. Stella is trying to please both her parents and is not being herself aka not being confident. Fucking fantastic.

- I think Stella and Stromy passed because they were the first ones to do so and the challenge accepted them as contenders. So now they are separated form the rest because they have to handle it on their own.

- Awww, poor Stella! I think that kids of divorced parents are not the only ones that can relate to her problems! This is so heartbreaking!

- I am getting some bad vibes from Stormy over here, though... Oh. No. She actually totally rocked this because she has confidence in herself and her sisters! That was pretty awesome!

- Woooooo, the Trix actually got the second star? And they left with it?! They are actually making this interesting????? I cannot believe it!

- I absolutely love how both Winx and Stella’s parents showed her how much they love her. And Luna and Radius are not fighting! *wipes away tear* Beautiful!

8x18:

- Bloom is so not here. And Palladium really chose her even though she is distracted after Stella would injure herself because she was so eager to do the potion? Fuck you, show!

- Well, he got what was coming for him! XD And Stella got the last word. Yes, I stan that!

- Damn! I’d completely forgotten about Twinkly. And I could have had that continuing but they had to bring her back.

- If Bloom doesn’t lose her shit over the unicorns and finally stops thinking about Sky, I will be so mad. They already gave her the unicorn obsession! They are obliged to put it to good use at the very least!

- Aaaaand cringe! They had to bring back “starsome” as well.

- Oh, god. They really retconned the fact that Diaspro is a fairy, didn’t they? Otherwise, why would they give her a gadget to fly? Also, please, don’t tell me that they’re at the same place that the Winx are.

- Well, the unicorn lumens seem to imply that they’re at the same place that Bloom and the Winx are.

- See? This is why you need an actual fake map instead of just a doodle of you and Sky! Now he found out! Love how it took him a while to grasp the fact that there is no medallion as well. And wasn’t that a pendant the first time they spoke of it?

- I honestly thought he would let the lumens handle Diaspro but he didn’t. I can’t say if I’m disappointed or impressed. Or kinda both.

- At least Winx missed Diaspro and Sky and the drama that would have started. Thank everything sacred!

- So that’s what Twinkly was for. To make sure Winx don’t have to fight the other lumens. But the Trix will probably have to so that will give Winx an advantage. Just don’t tell me this will stretch for over an episode.

- I loved the way Layla was holding Stella bridal style... right until she threw her to the ground. Dammit, Layla! Be a little more patient! You know how Stella is. And you don’t have to risk breaking all her bones!

- Well, what luck that there are exactly six unicorns. I would be a little worried about Stella’s outfit because that is what allows her to travel through space. So what if it doesn’t work when it’s damaged? But damn, they’re really trying to stretch this to take up two episodes! After they retconned Stella already being a cowgirl as we’ve seen in season 1.

- Poor Stella! She has a fear of heights and her unicorn seems to be an asshole for no reason.

- Why are Sky and Diaspro still there? At least Sky is actually not letting her get away with everything just like that this time. But Diaspro’s arguments are stupid.

- THAT’S “him”? A black uni-pegasus? It looks evil but it probably isn’t. *sigh* And why didn’t Sky just fly up when he faced that rock? It would have ended eventually and he could have passed above it!

- Oh, come on! The drama will be in the next episode and that is why they were stretching out this one? W.H.Y?????? Also, how is Sky flying in the synopsis for the next ep if he broke his flying gadget? Don’t tell me he actually gets Diaspro’s and they leave her there to sulk while they go get the star? (That might actually be the one good thing coming out of all this.)

8x19:

- Of course, Bloom would fly right into Diaspro! (Well, Diaspro was screaming for help but still).

- What happened with Sky? The black unicorn was about the blast him into oblivion at the end of the previous episode but now he somehow got away? And how did Diaspro get there as well? He left her on a much smaller rock island.

- Well, of course, the black unicorn isn’t evil even though he’s just been trying to kill two people. Didn’t I tell you so?

- Ah, so Tecna fixed Sky’s gadget. I thought that would be the other option to fix it.

- I was just gonna say that the horn of the black unicorn looked chipped. Poor guy. They actually made it understandable that he was so mad.

- And Bloom is absolutely exploding. I can understand that she would be angry Sky didn’t tell her and hid the truth from her. But that was not what she was mad about. She was mad that he even WENT on the mission which is stupid because, for all she knows, it could totally be an official mission ordered by his father.

- I knew it! I knew the black unicorn would pick Diaspro. Except, I have zero idea why the hell he would do that. Why, after being hurt? Diaspro is not the most polite person and he saw that for himself. Wtf, writers? I could understand it if Diaspro had been like she was in season 2. But this?!?!?!?! And that was just,.. there? Like, there was nothing more to it. Just a loose end. We didn’t even get to see what happened with Diaspro.

- At least Bloom and Sky are actually talking about the hiding things issue. I have to say, though, that I can’t fully support Bloom because Sky is right. She freaks out over just hearing Diaspro’s name which, again, would have been a totally reasonable reaction considering Diaspro brainwashed Sky if they hadn’t COMPLETELY IGNORED THAT FACT AND PRETENDED IT HAD NEVER HAPPENED. Bloom is not mad because of how much Diaspro has hurt them both but because she doesn’t believe Sky will keep choosing her if Diaspro is around. And this is an issue SHE has to work on.

- The Trix are still bickering. But at least they look a lot more competent in this season. But did they all really think that Stormy wouldn’t have her dramatic ass entrance? If I could summon thunderstorms, I definitely would for making my entrance. Just saying.

- Layla’s morphix bubble was so powerful! I love!

- Wait, Sky and Icy will be fighting for the Prime Star while Bloom was left looking at them disappearing after she stopped her own fall like she should be able to do instead of having to be saved despite being able to fly? Wow. This is getting interesting.

- I should have known they would fuck it up! They should have left Sky and Icy to fight it out instead of having Bloom go in there and “trust” Sky to get himself out of a cage that wasn’t even closing in on him? She could have just went after Icy and freed him after she was done. There was no immediate danger for him. There was no reason for their great trust.This scene had so much damn potential and they wasted all of it. Great going!

- Why is there a musical number when the only public is the landscape (okay, and the lumens and unicorns)? This was so unnecessary. We got it that they trust each other now. Stop driving nails in our heads.

8x20:

- Dammit! I thought that they would head to Linphea right after the unicorn realm. But they’re back at Alfea? And since when is Griselda teaching about plants? That was always Palladium’s job! Wtf?!?!?!

- You’d think they already know all of this about plants considering that Butterflix was a GODDAMN NATURE TRANSFORMATION!

- Griselda is cutting them slack because of saving the universe? Yeah, right.

- How long will Stormy keep bragging about getting the Prime Star? They act like that’s the only thing she ever did. Also, why is she so hung up on being the one to bring Valtor the Prime Star? Her test was legit about her standing up to him (which went over too easily considering Valtor is supposed to have control over them since he even put his mark on them but that did not appear in the vision for a second in order to make it actually complex or something).

- Well, Miele looks younger than she used to in season 7 but they didn’t totally reverse her back into a kid. Yet, it’s stupid that they are still having the argument of “this is too dangerous for you” after season 7 and her saving them. Besides, Flora should know damn well that Miele will follow. She always does! It’s like the writers have no idea who Miele is if they aren’t having her following secretly and proving that it is not too dangerous for her to go.

- They can’t use magic in the forest? Come again? This is such bullshit. It has never been the case on Linphea. I hate it.

- Why do they have to do ballet to open a stupid gate? But I love the fact that Darcy made illusions of them to perform the dance and let the Trix pass as well. She was using her head. And her magic in a really cool way. Plus, it would have been OOC to have the Trix dancing ballet. Can you imagine? XD

- So we’re learning to plant seeds and water flowers? Since when is this one of those shows that are for ages 0-3?

- Is that... a carnivore radish or something? And yeah, Flora, that totally doesn’t look aggressive!

- When is Flora gonna stop treating Miele like she’s three after all the times she’s proven herself (I don’t care if this is a soft reboot)? Though, Miele would have been more convincing if she hadn’t thrown a tantrum and then started crying much like toddlers do.

- Of course, Darcy will use Miele. That was so damn obvious. Love how Miele didn’t even get to transform. Honestly, at this point I am not even sure whether I want Winx or the Trix to get this Prime Star. They’re all being annoying and I don’t care enough for either side to root for their victory.

- Now you’re taking Miele with? When she can’t move? Fucking sound logic!

- Ooh, I guessed that that was actually Darcy disguised as Miele a few seconds before she revealed herself. But if I were Flora, it might have been enough to regain the advantage.

- Darcy just left Miele sleeping out there in the forest? Not that evil. She could have done something much worse.

- What, Layla? Like none of you ever got tricked?

- They are really playing it as if this was Miele’s fault? Man, this season is really starting to waste opportunities which is really annoying because they actually have interesting premises. They just need to do better during the execution.

- At least I hope that Stormy will shut up about recovering a Prime Star now that Darcy has done the same. Ironic how Icy is the only one that hasn’t managed yet. But I suppose that she will also recover one for a 3 on 4 with Winx and a final battle turned cooperation for the usage of the Prime Stars.

8x21:

- At least Griselda is back to self-defense classes. Though, why the hell is she teaching them deflection spells? They should know those already! They had that lesson in season 2! And why are Knut and Kiko assisting her? Kiko has been sidelined with Knut all season! It feels like he’s not Bloom’s bunny anymore!

- Why does this show hate Kiko so much and has him getting hurt all the time? At least Bloom caught him when he got catapulted. But poor Griselda. I have to say that this is her most OOC moment yet. And she even let them go again. She didn’t have to end the entire class, though. She could have kept going with the rest of the students but once again, the world revolves around Winx.

- You want Riven to SHOW his feelings? Which he has been doing ever since he came back so, like, ALL FUCKING SEASON?!?!?!?! WOW. Fuck you, Musa!

- Whyyyy did they think the Trix wouldn’t show up on Melody? But I am glad we skipped the obligatory Valtor scene because it is unnecessary.

- Galatea doesn’t look too much like herself.

- Bullshit. Stella made them much better outfits when they went to Magix in season 3. And there were other designs that were better than these that, frankly, look pretty bland.

- Sooooo... Musa, the fairy of music, isn’t going to be in the dance competition? Are they trying to level up things? And are you seriously telling me that the Trix are going to dance? Ugh, what the hell?!

- Awwwww, look at Riven! He really wants to try and he is even opening up to the guys about his relationship problems. I love it! Idk what Musa’s stupid problem is.

- This dance competition is so dead. You can only hear Galatea. The public isn’t cheering. But aww, at Bloom catching Stella when she got yeeted off the dance floor. That was really cute.

- I guess competitiveness can make even the Trix dance. It doesn’t change the fact that the competition is still fucking dead! And their dancing feels so arhythmical and slow. The music is fucking dull and practically non-existent.

- Ho-boe doesn’t feel like himself either. And doesn’t the house look so different as well? Also, did they ever do anything that doesn’t involve music? I know they’re a musical family but they must have done something else as well!

- Tecna is killing it! But Stormy’s abundance of energy seems to give her a big advantage here. Though, I still love how confident Tecna was! I have to say that this would have been absolutely epic if the music had been intense enough to match their moves. Why did they have to do these scenes so dirty by barely having any tune to them?! If I’m watching a dance competition, I want it to be good!

- Musa and her dad are talking about Riven? And there is a Riven and Darcy confrontation?!?!?!

- Scratch that! They fucked it up in 0.3 seconds! Are you serious? This is literally Riven and Darcy’s first meeting ever since they broke up in season 1 and THIS is how it goes?! She hypnotizes him to use against Musa?!?!?! I hate this! At least let this be the end of their stupid drama.

- Why did the synopsis of the next episode instantly spoil that Stormy will win the fifth Prime Star? You just revealed all the surprise there will be next ep! Man, they really don’t know how to advertise, do they? Also, this dance battle is really stretching over two episodes?

8x22:

- Now all I wanna do is write a fic in which Darcy gets really violent and there are heavy consequences after Riven’s fight with Musa.

- Wait! “...rough and soothing combine artfully and that perfect sound will yield the Star of Harmony”? And the harp that Ho-Boe says needs to be played by two people? That’s gonna be Musa and Riven, isn’t it? And they’ll get the star which will be the twist and that is why they spoiled Stormy wins in the teaser at the end of the last episode.

- Thank you, Musa! It took you long enough! He is so obviously spelled. Though, I kinda love how Darcy was there like “You can’t resist”. This could be so dark if it weren’t a kids show. And now I wanna write it!

- Dammit, Musa! You have your stupid Enchantix in this season! Use your goddamn fairy dust! Or any other kind of magic! And you’re really so damn surprised that it is Darcy?! It was obvious!

- That was the big idea? That Riven is “finally” proving his feelings by refusing to hurt her? Gee. And that’s how the battle between Riven and Musa and Darcy is going to go down? With some stupid formless monsters?

- Well, of course, Bloom beat Icy. But I suspect that Layla is gonna lose against Stormy so it doesn’t matter much.

- You’re now starting to get used to fighting alongside Riven even though he’s been gone a year and they were together for 4 years before that and fought together for about 5-6 years? Really? And that was the big battle with Darcy? They all had about 3 movements!

- Why is Bloom still in this? They should have given us Layla vs Stormy! We know Layla is the best at dancing (or tied with Musa).

- Why doesn’t Ho-Boe know how they met? They used to date for years before Riven left!

- When have you ever felt harmony in your relationship, Riven? Don’t start lying now! And why does he know how to play the harp? I saw this coming but it still kinda doesn’t make sense!

- Finally! The Layla vs Stormy dancing duel we deserved! And the music is more lively now! At last!

- Oh, come on! That’s how Stormy beat Layla?! By distracting her?!?!?! I wanted it to be a fair fight. And why the hell is there goo or jello or whatever falling on Layla? This is terrible. You wouldn’t catch me taking part in that dancing contest. Not to mention that they competed in vain. Although, it was a nice touch to have them misinterpret the riddle.

- Okay, but Riven is definitely not the rough part in that “rough and soothing” combo. He has been nothing but amazing all season while Musa has been pouting and whining!

- The sad thing is that the Trix would have gotten the star if Stormy hadn’t blabbed to Layla where Darcy was. But her cheating came back to bite her in the ass.

- It would have been nice if Musa had saved Riven instead of having Bloom melt him.

- Oh, Riven is a part of the band now? But seriously, will we ever see them talking? Like, actually communicating which is always where their problems lie? Of course not. Why would that be important?

- They’re really saying that Layla is more impulsive than Bloom? Yeah, fuck that big time! Also, don’t tell me that the last star will be obtained by all six Winx again and that is why they will be combining Tecna and Layla in the next ep. Or even worse - by Winx and the Trix together.

8x23:

- “An ounce more or less won’t matter”? That is so not like Layla! It is more like Stella and even Bloom! What the hell? I hate what they’re doing just to set up their stupid conflict for this episode!

- Okay, that shot with the Trix sitting all over Valtor’s throne was pretty cool! And I actually like the fact that he is not exploding at them about the fact that their last mission failed. That was a nice change of pace! Also, digging Darcy and Stormy taking over the throne and the way Valtor is collecting the Prime Stars when he doesn’t have the box. It is... symbolic.

- Be my guest, Flora, and get between Stella and her tanning!

- Reasonable question, Stella! I was also gonna ask why the hell there are corals on dry land. And the Compass is going all crazy.

- Oh, goodie! Hawaiian lumens. In case we’d forgotten about the first half of the season. Which I honestly had.

- Bloom, you really have no other choice but to split up because Tecna and Layla will kill each other otherwise. And yes, Stella sure doesn’t sound distracted now. Only panicky and possibly on the verge of becoming hysterical over the volcano.

- You mean, this isn’t Valtor creating the lava gollems? At least it’s implied that there is one for each girl so the split-up doesn’t put them at a disadvantage.

- Poor Stella, being used as bait. And they just made more of the monsters. I guess her shining personality is not going to be enough to spare the others the notice.

- Did Valtor actually say “boo”? Wow, okay.

- How is a shell the symmetry between light and shadow? It is on the land and not halfway between land and sea! This was absolute bullshit! Meanwhile, Stella and Bloom are getting overwhelmed back there at the volcano against six opponents!

- Valtor cut in just in time! I thought his presence would have been useless. But he upgraded to adapt to his “inability” to touch the Prime Stars even though the source of his magic is literally stars in this season!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just cannot even anymore.

- Yeah, and this bullshit choice again between two things that are important. We’re using this for the third time in ten episodes! Really need to come up with something else over here.

- And we didn’t even see Bloom and Stella really do anything. This episode is put together in a horrible way. Plus, how the fuck are you getting in a volcano that is already erupting! I would have loved for Bloom to use her Dragon Fire here because at least that would have made sense instead of this bullshit we got!

- At least we got that cute Layla and Tecna hug!

8x24:

- Tecna turning into a sheep seemed OOC. And Flora choosing a tiger? Why didn’t she just stop chasing after “Stella” when she saw she was scaring the poor thing? That was unnecessary.

- Stella skipped classes to write homework? And why the hell did Wizgiz give everyone homework when it was obvious that they didn’t know about Stella’s deception?

- Icy could have played that *dramatic pause* cooler. She was being obviously panicky about going to Diamond. She’s better at pretending than this. And her keeping a crystal flower? Waaaay OOC. I don’t care if it is about her dead/lost sister which they totally pulled out of nowhere to make her “relatable”.

- Shouldn’t Sky have asked if he can come along instead of just tail them? He can help resolve things faster... or he can become the reason for their defeat.

- The architecture on Diamond looks kinda... Russian (which would make sense if they’re trying to parallel Siberia with the frozen land). But I am dying at the idea of Icy being Russian. XD

- What trees, Bloom? Where did you see trees? Everything is deep frozen!

- Don’t tell me that fox is Icy’s sister. That will be too dumb.

- Well, of course Bloom doesn’t like Icy’s home planet. How could she? That would have been too mature a notion for the writers. After all, she must hate everything icy.

- What temper? That fox has legit not done anything. Also, it has got to have something to do with Icy. Look at its eyes! And now Icy is attacking Stormy because of it?

- Aaaaand now we’re getting a flashback. You have to love how they made it look like Icy is the little sister when she’s not, And I hate how they made her younger and “untainted” self so different! Like, dammit, a tragic backstory does change you but you need to keep something from your core personality! She is being a totally different person and this totally came out of nowhere! I hate it!

- Took Sky long enough to catch up. Why is he the one saving the fox? And Icy totally went nuts here. This is more like her but still... the dissonance between season 1 and this... Why?

- I knew he was gonna fuck up this whole thing.

- Damn, the fox is looking so lovingly at Icy. It might as well be her sister. But it may just be one of those foxes we saw that isn’t aging because of the ice that appears to be magical. I still can’t decide what they’re doing here.

- Why the fuck do they need Sirenix? But I have to say that Crystal Sirenix (which they totally just made up here because that was never actually a thing and would have been nice to have been mentioned when Daphne was using elemental magic in season 6 since she is the Nymph of Sirenix) looks better than ordinary Sirenix. Except for the... capes? The animators need to consult Edna Mode!

8x25:

- Sky is actually fine? Well, in the very real danger of drowning but still fine-r than I thought he would be. Sky, think about yourself. Bloom is not the one that is this fucking close to dying!

- Aaaaand... she saved him. He wasn’t even underwater that long! Why wasn’t he waking up?! Man, the Dragon Fire healing is getting annoying.

- Yes, spend time together while putting yourself in mortal danger. Sounds like fun times! You can even be buried together!

- Sky is supposed to be a Specialist aka capable of handling himself. And how many times is Tecna gonna be fixing his gear? Though, I am at least glad that Icy’s first instinct was to damage his flying gadget.

- So the fox is her sister. Fucking great! Why are they alone and talking about leaving? Where the fuck are their parents? Also, how does that fit in with the fact that the Trix are descendants of the Ancestral Witches?

- Firing all my thoughts here at high velocity: Who the fuck is that? We don’t get a name? Fucking splendid! Why is Sapphire still transformed? Icy is super powerful at this point and if the Shaman Witch is so powerful, why the hell hasn’t she conquered any other realm? Why does she need a whole planet that is completely frozen? Where is she now? What the fuck is up with all of this? And what happened to Icy’s mother? Was Icy a witch all along? Her being so “obedient” in that flashback is so totes OOC. I hate all of this. And we didn’t need the parallel between Bloom and Icy.

- Icy saying that the Trix are “friends maybe” and the the only real sister she has is Sapphire? Worst moment of the whole season! How fucking dare you?! I never thought that they were related by blood but that didn’t mean that they weren’t sisters!

- Yes, Stormy, tell everyone else (aka Winx) where you are! Or bury all three of you in an avalanche. Such planning! Much consideration!

- Icy, stop being a wimp! Yes, this is all hard but she is not behaving like herself at all! You need to get it together if you want to help your sis, girl! And how do you plan on getting the power to save your sister without the Star to bring to Valtor?

- Why is the Star going in the box? Oh, it’s not. But I hate the implication that only “sisterly” love can get the Star. Icy has been sisters with Darcy and Stormy since season 1 and Winx are all like sisters as well! Fuck that! Also, why is it that this one could have only been earned by two blood sisters? That means that Winx didn’t have the chance to take it at all! This is really stupid!

- The Trix are free now? How did that happen? And Sapphire is back aga- Oh, wait, no! Wtf????? Do they even know what they’re doing anymore? This is becoming such a mess! And why is the finale only one episode long when we wasted two episodes on 3-4 of the Stars? This is stupid!

8x26:

- What the fuck are these things? “Brothers from the Dark Dimension”? What the absolute honest genuine fuck? Why have these things never been introduced if they have always been a part of his plan? What the fuck, writers? You just sent the whole structure of the season to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How was any of this a good decision?!?!?!?!

- The Trix just showed up at Alfea? And Kiko is beating them single-pawed-ly? Why? But I like the idea of the Trix at Alfea.

- Oh, it was actually Winx. This is part of the plan for beating Valtor, isn’t it? Damn, I was just getting hyped that the Trix decided to work with Winx to fix this whole mess and make sure Valtor won’t trap them again once they disobey.

- Is Icy going to give him the star? Oh, no. She wants to challenge him to get the other Stars. Goddammit! But I love how excited Darcy is about getting to explore more of her illusion powers! Also, Icy both being grateful that they’re with her but telling them to save themselves if things get rough? THAT HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stormy was so ready to cry! Ugh, that was so amazing! Almost enough to make up for the bullshit they said about them not being sisters!

- They didn’t feel it? That was like a goddamn earthquake!

- I have a question, though. Why didn’t the Trix try to take on Winx? That implies that Valtor is weaker than Winx. But at least the Winx’ plan is actually pretty good.

- Why isn’t Stella Darcy, Layla Icy and Musa Stormy? They could have covered if they needed to use their powers! Stella could have dimmed the light as if Darcy is using her darkness powers. And the other could have pretended to be Stormy and Icy as well!

- Okay, but Winx’ voices are still the same! Why can’t Valtor tell that it’s not them? He’s literally so not paying attention and they fucked up with the spell because it is incomplete!

- And now the plan went to hell because Bloom decided to crash the party! Great going! So it was all for nothing.

- Now Valtor is back in his demon form? That was a curse his mothers put on him and Bloom destroyed that form in 3x26! But at least the remake looks better than the original!

- Why would Valtor destroy the universe? Where is he gonna go after that? Also, what the fuck? You’re making this Icy’s motivation?!?!?! For helping the Winx?!?!?!?!?!?! THE TRIX LITERALLY WERE ABOUT TO DESTROY THE MAGIC UNIVERSE IN SEASON 1 AND IT WAS THEIR ORIGINAL PLAN! NOW SHE’S LIKE “I WON’T WATCH ANOTHER WORLD GET DESTROYED”???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Is it only me or does this really remind of 3x25? Because the writers were probably trying to cash in even more nostalgia?

- If they don’t bring Icy’s world back, it will be really stupid because that was why she was even doing any of all this (according to this whole season).

- They wished for a power-up? I’m sorry, a power-up driven by how noble they are? The bullshit is unreal. I cannot even.

- No one cares about all the lumens! They should have given the Trix something for their trouble after all of this bullshit and used the screen time in a better way.

- OH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY GET A CONSTELLATION NOW?!?!?!?!? THEY WOULD HAVE NEVER WON WITHOUT THE TRIX WHO WERE LEFT WITH A BIG DAMN ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (except for being freed, that is)

- In my book this is the absolute worst finale this show has ever had! It contradicted everything we know about certain characters as well as events from previous seasons, had a theme that sucked completely and had Winx make a seemingly selfless wish that actually seems super shady, gave them glory they do not deserve, introduced a new plot point at the beginning of the very last episode, fucked over the Trix (or at least Icy), did not tie up their loose ends and just completely failed to be thrilling in any way because everything was upside down! I cannot even.

This season started out so well. The first three episodes were extremely promising and had the writers kept their streak, this season could have risen to the levels of the first seasons or even surpassed them. However, things quickly started derailing. First, just lightly and then totally going off the rails. The two halves of the season felt super disconnected, the villain plan sucked, Valtor was destroyed as a character (and as a villain) and the Trix were just... what happened there? The new backstory Icy was given was dreadful because of how much it contradicted what we know about all three of the Trix and it destroyed their sense of unity by obviously placing the narrative emphasis on her not just as the leader but as the one that is most important of the three. The second half got stupider and stupider until it reached a finale that just didn’t logic in any correct way. There was so much wasted potential here that it is unreal. Season 7 had nothing going on but it did not enrage me as much as this one (and especially the last few episodes) because there wasn’t so much absolute waste of perfectly good opportunities. Season 6 retains it’s place as the worst season in my book but the end of season 8 annoyed me enough to make me feel like I could put it over season 7 for worst of the series.

[hermannsthumb]

Newt, being the New England trash that he is, insists on taking Hermann to a baseball game that’s totally not a date...

secret baseball fan newt is so fun. i made the opposing team my team because we may be bad but gotta represent and they can win in my fantasies 😔 also will newt starting college when he's like 12 ever not be funny to me? no

------------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s the great American past time,” Newton says. “Like--I don’t know. Cricket for you. Right? A cultural thing. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“Technically speaking, Newton,” Hermann says, feeling very much like he does understand, and that he is very much on the right side of the argument here, “you’re not American either.”

Newton laughs. “And thank fuck for that! Okay, these are our seats.”

Their seats are--perhaps predictably--stiff, uncomfortable, and grimy, though Hermann’s thankful Newton was conscientious enough to book them ones designed for disability access. But Newton stops him with a hand to his chest before he can so much as take a step towards it and begins digging around in his tote bag. “What is it?” Hermann says.

“One second,” Newton says, and then--pulling a large, thin something out--laughs triumphantly. “Cushion! For you. More comfortable.”

Hermann takes it. It’s torn in one spot, its white padding poking out, and looks as if it’s seen better days. “‘MIT Dad’?”

“I played Little League in college,” Newt explains with a shrug. “I wasn’t really good, though. The pitchers always threw the ball over my head. Come on, sit, sit.”

The MIT Dad stadium cushion is placed over Hermann’s seat, Hermann’s cane is tucked comfortably to the side, and they sit down. Newton immediately begins digging in his bag once more. “Oh, I almost forgot! You need one of these.”

He presents Hermann with a Red Sox cap that matches his own. Hermann takes it gingerly. “Are we rooting for the same team, then?”

“Obviously,” Newton says. “I’d have to stop speaking to you if we weren’t. Kidding!”

He gives a loud, fake laugh, one that makes it clear to Hermann that he was not, in fact, kidding. The only thing that Newton takes a fraction as seriously his work is baseball: Hermann doesn't think Newton ever missed listening to a Red Sox game on the tiny, cannibalized radio they kept in their laboratory. “Thank you,” Hermann says, a bit awkwardly, and slips the cap on. It’s too big.

Newton insisted they show up abysmally early, so early they were the first in their entire section, and they watch Newton’s team practice as other spectators finally begin to file in. Newton is already fidgeting. “Should I get us beer now? Or later? I have peanuts in my bag--”

“Peanuts?” Hermann says. 

“Tradition,” Newton says. He suddenly stands up. “Okay. Okay, I’ll get us beer and see if I can snag you a score card from somewhere. It’s a lot of, like--paying attention to numbers, and addition, you’ll love it.”

He scurries out of their aisle and past two men wearing the opposing team’s colors, though he stops--briefly--to scowl at them. They scowl back. Hermann desperately hopes a repeat of the last World Cup Germany played in isn’t in store for tonight: Newton became so excitable that he got into a shouting match with a j-tech and ended up with a rather furious black eye. Potential injury aside, Hermann really just doesn’t fancy holding an ice pack to Newton’s face for hours on end again. “Be quick!” Hermann calls after him.

The two men in orange and black sit further down Newton and Hermann’s row. They give Hermann a dirty look, too. Right--the hat.

Hermann will admit that this is not how he expected the weekend to go. A brief stopover in Newton’s hometown between speaking engagements--surely (Hermann thought) that meant an awkward dinner with Newton’s father, Geiszler family photo albums dug out of storage and presented to Hermann proudly, perhaps a tour of Newton’s old campus. But all Newton wanted to do was go to a bloody baseball game, his first in a decade--and he wanted to go with Hermann. Hermann couldn’t really begrudge him the request.

“Got the beer,” Newton declares proudly. He hands one large plastic cup to Hermann, then digs around in his pocket and produces the promised scorecard and a golf pencil. He’s penciled in the team names: Red Sox, surrounded by exclamation marks and underlined thrice, and Orioles, with a frowning face to the left of it. 

“Don’t you think I ought to pick a side independent of your bias?” Hermann says, staring down at it.

“It's not a bias if I’m right,” Newton says.

“But the other mascot is much more interesting than yours,” Hermann says, casting a glance down at the opposing fans Newton had a run-in with earlier. A little cartoonish oriole smiles back at him from their own caps. “It’s a bird, not--someone’s laundry.”

Newton’s expression darkens. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that for the sake of our friendship. Peanut?” He holds a plastic bag out to Hermann. Hermann shakes his head; though, secretly, he can’t help but feel a bit pleased Newton implied they were friends. “I can get you other food if you want? They have big hot dogs and stuff. I’ll pay for anything you want.”

“I’m fine,” Hermann says.

“Anything. I’m serious.”

“I’m fine,” Hermann repeats.

He takes a large sip of beer so Newton will stop scrutinizing him. It’s not exactly to his taste: Newton prefers the lighter sort, IPAs and the like, and can never seem to understand that someone (in this situation, Hermann) might prefer something else. Though it's not as if any American beer is up to Hermann’s standards, to be frank. “You have a foam mustache,” Newton says, and wipes off Hermann’s upper lip with the cuff of his sleeve.

Hermann blinks at him. “Ah,” he says. “Thank you, Newton?”

They share a few seconds of strangely tense eye contact. Then Newton shakes his head. “Laundry,” he grumbles. “Unbelievable. Wait, it’s starting! Shut up!” 

It turns out Newton’s behavior during baseball games is far, far worse than his behavior during the World Cup. He shouts and cheers himself hoarse; he holds one-sided arguments with the umpire; he boos so obnoxiously someone two rows back throws a peanut at him to shut him up; he grabs Hermann’s arm after every mildly interesting play, wrings it, and excitedly recaps it with commentary, as if Hermann himself hadn’t witnessed it only seconds prior. Hermann must admit Newton was right about his being amused by the scorecard, however, and after the fifth inning (when the Red Sox are leading by two runs) a high-spirited Newton treats him to a second beer he actually enjoys. Not even an awkward singling out by the kiss cam--in which they stay motionless, Newton blushing so furiously he looks like a freckled tomato, and Hermann avoiding eye contact so intently his eyes begin to sting--could put a damper on things, nor even Hermann inadvertently catching a fly ball while Newton--who’s been trying, fruitlessly, the entire game--is out getting him that second beer.

It goes downhill after the sixth inning.

“That was the worst playing I’ve seen in my life!” Newton hollers as they wait by their T stop a few hours later. He’s long since ripped off his hat in disgust, and Hermann saw him eyeing the trash bins contemplatively with it in hand on their way out of the stadium. “Fucking ridiculous! Can you believe it, Hermann?”

“Mm,” Hermann agrees.

“I shell out a fortune for these tickets,” Newton says, “and--we fly all the way from fucking Hong Kong to watch them lose!”

“We flew here because we were asked to give several guest lectures,” Hermann reminds him.

“Whatever,” Newton says. “Ugh. This is the worst! My first game in over ten years--”

Perhaps it’s because the sensation of Newton gently brushing foam off his lip lingers even now, hours later, or perhaps it’s because he can’t stop thinking of what could’ve happened if they hadn’t botched up the kiss cam, or perhaps it’s merely because he wants Newton to shut up, but (in a fit of desperation) Hermann suddenly finds himself seizing Newton by the collar of his oversized Red Sox t-shirt and kissing him until his shocked, undignified squeaks turn pleased. Even then, Hermann kisses him a bit more.

Newton’s eyes are as wide as saucers when Hermann finally pulls away. “There, now,” he says, and pats Newton’s cheek. “The night wasn’t all so terrible, was it?”

Newton shakes his head. He does seem remarkably cheered up.

“I might even go as far as to say I had fun.”

“Oh,” Newton squeaks. “Good.”

[wxrm-pxddxng]

Ch 3 of My life (but the better version)

Looks like SOMEONE forgot to post Chapter 3 here (glares at myself

As the time passed, and a lot more time passed for sure, Tord was thinking. For once in his life. Was it even his life? Would he be considered dead right now? A huge part of him still believed all of this was a weird dream, some specific version of hell made just for him. He felt like it would get worse later on, become a nightmare. He wouldn't be surprised.

Despite the television playing almost the entire time, he had enough time to get lost in his thoughts.

He was stuck here until- ugh, he didn't remember the exact time anymore, until more things healed he guessed. A few days had already passed, but he could barely register them. Everything was moving so slow and so fast at the same time for him. It felt slow, as if a day was a week long, but fast as if the month that week was in was only 2 weeks long.

While being there he was supposed to remember his old identity and life and all that since he said that he forgot it but honestly? He'd rather actually live up to his own lie and forget than admit what he could recall everything. If he can convince others he forgot maybe he could fool himself too at some point. Those weird therapy type things that happened to try to trigger his memories did nothing when he already remembered everything.

There was just so much. He would rather focus on the shitty hospital TV in the corner. Nothing engaging was usually going on there, and right now it was just… mediocre. He could imagine it playing in the background of something if anything. Not enough to drain his thoughts out. He increased the volume, maybe that would somehow make it interesting or something.

"-After that sudden earthquake in Little Oakmoor, a lot of victims had to move to the Oakmoor homeless shelter temporarily. Today, we are in front of the homeless shelter, and our newest journalist, Theodore Andrews will be asking them about their feelings while it was happening! Take it away, Theo!"

The lady at the news station looked towards the screen that showed a young, nervous man with a microphone.

Not interesting, he didn't wanna hear earthquake victims talk. From what he gathered, nobody died or was hurt so what was the point of asking people what they thought in the first place. Stupid Theo and his stupid questions to those stupid people with their stupid little problems. Tord decided to keep switching channels until he couldn't help it, he got lost in his brain.

He tried turning to his side, hoping that just maybe he could fall asleep and stop thinking for an hour or two. But he just wasn't tired. And he hated how the pillow felt against the scarred half of his face, despite how old that already was, he could feel the pillow pressing into the bandages.

Eventually, as time passed he passed further, despite the fact that he felt like he drank 3 energy drinks, a coffee and a cola, he did eventually find himself asleep. Or the opposite because you don't exactly find yourself asleep, you usually wake up and figure that you can't wake up from being already awake, accompanied by the feeling of time having passed and realize that you were most likely asleep and wish you could go back.

Either that or you're like Tord and swore that not a single minute passed and you don't feel different so you must have only closed your eyes or taken a very short nap? Nope, when Tord used the TV to look at the time, it was the next day already. Time really was strange in hospitals, he figured.

Was it the hospital, really? Or was it him fucking switching realities that caused a mixup? He had no idea. He also still had no idea what to do, since sleep doesn't give you the answer to everything, or someone would have already invented the cure for cancer by being asleep. That would be funny.

Imagine what the interview for that would be like. That guy Theo with his bright-ass red microphone walks up to some young person with a golden crab shaped medal around their neck and goes like "So, how exactly did you find the cure?" And the person looks off into the distance, almost looking like they've decided to remember the comments of an entire novel before they respond, "it came to me in a dream" "The cure for cancer came to you in a dream" "Yeah" "If other scientist fell asleep before we could have found it sooner, ey" "Have you seen scientists" "I-"

But no, sadly sleep didn't solve all of his problems despite how much he hoped that 'eternal sleep' would do so just a few days ago. He still didn't know what to do. He couldn't keep pretending to have forgotten everything forever after all. And he didn't exactly have a home here.

But it's not like he could just tell someone he remembered, that wouldn't really do anything even if they somehow believed him.

What was he supposed to say, exactly? "Oh yeah I totes remember everything about my old life, but you wouldn't believe me! I killed people. Then I fetched a robot I forgot- and the nurse? Yeah, he should be dead! More shit happened and I actually killed myself! Hey where are we going why does that look like a psych ward-"

Yeah, no, that was off of the table.

Tord has grabbed two of the plastic flowers someone placed in the vase next to him and started moving them across the bed.

He changed the pitch of his voice whenever he made the yellow flower move.

"So do you remember anything?"

'Yellow' asked the other flower.

The red flower, AKA Tord was then moved. His voice went back to normal,

"No, sorry! I don't remember anything at all! Nothing, nada, not even my name. I can speak all 3 Scandinavian languages perfectly if that helps somehow."

"You have no known family here, nobody came looking for you and you don't remember where you come from! That means we're going to have to kill you"

Yellow responded. Tord was over dramatic, he knew, but he had no idea what would actually happen. He was wondering why he was afraid of dying a second time.

"I don't think they'll kill you!"

A voice suddenly came from the door, which had opened at some point.

"Jon, don't do that-"

Tord said. Both of them sorta- I guess you can say they became friends over the days Tord stayed here. It's weird because Jon didn't have any name to address Tord by, but that didn't matter much.

"What I was saying is- you can stay with me- eh, my roommates and I! I'm sure they won't mind and we'll find space for you!!"

Jon offered, a small grin on his face as he spoke. Thinking about his opinions, Tord looked back at the flowers. This was most likely a bad idea… he's literally their neighbor. They would definitely see Tord at some point. And he wasn't sure if he really wanted to deal with those roommates, knowing exactly who Jon meant.

But… he also didn't want to stay in this boring ass hospital and well, who knows what will happen to him when he's healed. He wasn't sure how exactly he could kill himself here, and what was the point of letting himself heal for a few days, make friends with someone and then die- would he even die, or just be sent back?

Whatever the case, that didn't matter.

"Yeah sure, if you think it's a good idea"

Tord eventually agreed.

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[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Ballad of a Shelby and a Solomons

Summary: Following the events of Burned. Ruby Shelby and Teddy Solomons fall in love.

@justanothershelby​ Because I love you and I’m so sorry you’re going through a rough time.

(gif isn’t mine)

Birmingham-1948

         “I’m in love with Teddy Solomons.”

          Arthur Shelby was far too old for this shit. He couldn’t handle the scares that he used to be able to experience every day. Normally, he was pretty quick on his feet, maybe less so than his younger self. But the announcement from his niece completely caught him off guard. So much so that he spat out his whiskey.

          The eldest Shelby was sat with his brother at the Garrison, a few hours before it was due to open for the night. It was a little odd because Tommy seldom visited Birmingham. He was far too busy in the Commons to visit Small Heath. Likewise, Ruby rarely traveled back and forth. Either she was in London or in Warwickshire.

          “Solomons?” Arthur sputtered, his face already turning red.

          Tommy stood behind the bar much calmer than his brother. A hint of a smug smile crossed his face. He knew almost instantly that the two young adults were going to spark up something. The way Teddy could hardly speak clearly in front of her and the way Ruby’s fair complexion turned bright red under his eyes.

          “You’ve met up with him again?” Tommy asked.

          Arthur was practically spasming with anger. “As in Alfie Solomons?!”

          “Yes.” Ruby held her head high, her lips pursed. She looked just like her mother when she gave him that confident look. “Several times, in fact, and I love him.”

          “Tom!” Arthur erupted. “You knew ‘bout this?”

          “Easy, brother,” Tommy replied coolly. “The two met when I was going to see Louise’s new foal. He’s a very respectable young man.”

          Ruby was a little surprised by her father’s steady demeanor. She expected there to be an issue, like the issue her uncle was clearly having. “Well-well, yes he is.” She hesitated and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Why on Earth was he being so nonchalant about the whole issue. When she was younger, Ruby had declared her love for one of the Lee boys. Granted she was only fourteen and it was simply because the teenager could tame any unruly horse. When Tommy heard the news, he had a fit and threatened the boy to stay far, far, far, away from his beloved daughter.

          So that was that. Ruby never saw the boy again. But now she was confessing her adoration for the son of an old colleague. Rival? Friend? The details were murky.

          “Louise said he served during the Second War.” Tommy poured himself and his brother another glass of whiskey.

          Arthur gave him a flustered glare. Like Ruby, he was bewildered by Tommy’s reaction.

          “Yes.” Ruby nodded.

          Tommy beckoned for his daughter to sit at the bar and poured her a gin and tonic. Warily, she sat down beside her uncle. “Where did he serve?”

          “France. Like you.” Ruby replied. “He was hurt by a grenade. You should see the scar, nearly lost his entire leg. He’s so brave.” She chewed on her lip when she thought of the handsome young man who had won her over.

          “You’ve seen the scar?” Arthur demanded. “On his leg? Under what fucking circumstances!?”

          “Pral.” Tommy hushed him.

          “We went swimming behind his home in Surrey.” Ruby lifted her chin again, pretending not to be bothered. “It isn’t 1920, Uncle Arthur.”

          “Fucking…kids these days!” He threw up his hands.

          “I’m not a kid!” She argued. “I’m an adult and so is Teddy. He almost died serving our country just like you lot did so you shouldn’t treat him and fucking differently! He goes to university and he’s fucking smarter than any of you. And he loves me.”

          Arthur grimaced but shut his mouth, for the time being, downing the fresh drink Tommy put in front of him.

          “And he loves horses,” Ruby added, her blue eyes glancing over to her father.          

          Tommy nodded in acknowledgment. “I know. Mrs. Carleton told me he’s a very gifted rider. Perhaps we ought to invite him on a hunt at Arrow House.” He suggested. “We can see what sort of a shot he is.”

          Ruby’s eyes lit up. “Really?” She jumped up and reached over the bar to hug her father tightly. “Thank you, daddy, I’ll call him right now!” She left the Garrison so quickly that she nearly tipped over the stool she was sitting on.

          Arthur pouted in his seat. “I don’t like it, Tom.” He muttered.

          “He’s nothing like Alfie.” He assured his brother. “And it doesn’t matter what either of us says anymore. She’s going to see him whether we like it or not.”

          Arthur grumbled his discontent but just shook his head. "Shelby women, aye?"

          "I'm afraid she won't be one for much longer." Tommy sighed and briefly wondered what Alfie would've done if he were still alive. A Shelby and a Solomons. Perhaps he would assume the world was crumbling.

Birmingham-The Midland Hotel-1950

            “Mr. Shelby, would you like a drink?”

            The lobby of the Midland hotel was fairly quiet for a Friday morning. A few ladies sat together talking avidly amidst the lavish décor. A couple of businessmen greeted one another properly. A maid was busy dusting the many gilded ornaments around the large lobby. It had been refurbished after the war had ended, giving all the intricate fixtures and architecture life again.

            “Yes, bottle of whiskey, Irish. Bring the bottle ‘round.” Tommy answered one of the barkeeps as he slipped off his hat and sat down. He cleared his throat and checked his pocket watch.

            Perfectly on time, Teddy Solomons came in, shaking off his umbrella. He removed his hat and headed upstairs to the bar where Tommy said he’d be. He’d never been to the Midland before, in fact, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever been to Birmingham before. Well, before he met Ruby, that is. Sometimes she would be there visiting family and Teddy stopped by to say hello. More often than not, they’d both be in London. Ruby working in the family business and Teddy still in university.

            “Mr. Shelby.” Teddy smiled as he greeted him.

            Tommy stood up to shake his hand. “You can call me Tommy, known each other long enough.” He chuckled. “Have a seat, glad we could get together to chat you said it was important.”

            “Yes, sir.” Teddy sat down and set his cane to the side.

            Tommy took note as he pulled out a cigarette and lighter. “I didn’t know you walked with a cane.” In all the times he’d spoken to the young man, he hadn’t seen him with a walking cane. He noticed the limp, but only after Ruby mentioned it, Teddy did a good job of covering it.

            “Gets worse with the rain, I’m afraid.” Teddy grimaced lightly. He never liked calling attention to his limp. It was something he would much rather ignore if possible. It only brought up terrible memories. Memories of the grenade exploding near him. Fortunately, he didn’t recall much after that. Only remembered waking up to hearing a doctor discuss the possibility of amputation. After that, it was a long and torturous recovery. Having to comfort his mother when she worried over him. Learning to walk differently. All things he would rather forget.

            “Much different from your father’s.” Tommy smiled slightly. He could recall the slender, simple cane that Alfie sometimes toted around.

            “Yeah, my mum pulled it out but it was too weak.”

            “I thought sometimes he would carry it just for emphasis.” Tommy chuckled and shook his head. “Smoke?” He offered the pack to Teddy.

            “No, thank you.” Teddy declined politely.

            The man arrived with the whiskey, setting down two crystal glasses. “Anything else, Mr. Shelby?”

            “That’ll be all for now.” Tommy nodded and began pouring the whiskey. “So, what’s the matter of importance, Teddy?”

            “Well, Mr-erm-Tommy, as you know Ruby and I have been going steady for a couple of years now.” Teddy swallowed and tried to maintain a façade of confidence, even though his palms were sweating. He’d nearly lost a leg in Normandy but Tommy Shelby was just as terrifying. “And we’ve discussed the possibility, well, the future I suppose. That’s why I’d like to ask for your blessing.”

            Tommy had been half-expecting it. Ever since they’d met, Ruby had been head-over-heels for Teddy Solomons. The girl could hardly stop gushing about him. One night at dinner, Charlie finally had to shout at her to, ‘stop fucking talking about Teddy Bloody Solomons!’. That hadn’t ended well.

            As the years wore on, Tommy had gained a bit of softness. None for his enemies, political or not, but for his family and friends. Nothing brought him more joy than his beautiful princess smiling. And Teddy made her smile.

            So, when he called to request a meeting, Tommy assumed it could only mean one of two things. Either he wanted to ask for Ruby’s hand in marriage, or she had mistakenly gotten pregnant. Not that Tommy could really say anything about that, he’d gotten both Grace and Lizzie pregnant before he married them. Still, it was a relief that Teddy was requesting marriage instead of planning for a baby. Tommy wasn’t ready to be a grandfather yet.

            “I think that would be a wise choice. I doubt she’d marry anyone else and she’d most likely marry you without my blessing.” Tommy admitted. He had no one but himself to blame for his daughter’s stubbornness. “It would be in my own best interest to say yes.”

            A look of relief and happiness flooded Teddy’s eyes. “Thank you, sir. I promise I’ll give her everything I can. She’s very important to me.”

            Tommy held up his glass for a cheers. “I trust you’ll make a good husband.” Trust was scarce, but it could be afforded for the shy, polite, Solomons boy. Tommy could only imagine what Alfie would say if he were still alive.

Warwickshire- June, 1951

            Teddy Solomons didn’t know how wild a Shelby party could get. Even a big blow out wedding didn’t seem to curb their thirst for a rowdy night. Luckily, Teddy’s side of the wedding guests didn’t seem to care much or they had been expecting such an affair. He didn’t care at all; in fact, it was all in good fun. His heart had been pounding all day. First out of nervousness, then out of shock when he first saw Ruby walking down the aisle, and then euphoria as they said their vows. He was breathless from dancing with her all night. And even though he was a bit awkward with his stiff leg, he couldn’t deny Ruby one more song.

            So, they kept dancing until Ruby wore herself out. That’s when Teddy suggested they get some air outside. His ears were ringing from the loud music and chattering from inside Arrow House so they had to adjust being out in the summer air. The soft sounds of crickets lulling his heartbeat.

            “I can’t wear these fucking shoes another moment.” Ruby groaned and bent down to take off her heels. She set them side on the patio.

            “Want to walk? Or do your feet hurt?” Teddy asked.

            “We can walk. Unless I’ve worn you out from dancing.” She teased and linked arms with her husband.

            “I might be sore in the morning.” He chuckled and kissed her temple. “It’ll be worth it though.” They started off past the garden and across the lawn. The lights from Arrow House fanning over the grass and dimly lighting their way. Fireflies blinked across the forest-line and the sky was clear of clouds. Every star seemed to be shining its brightest just for the occasion.

            Teddy stopped for a moment to look up at the half-moon hanging in the sky. “I wish my dad was here.” He said quietly. A hint of melancholy draping over him as he realized there was a piece missing. It’s how most occasions in his life felt. There was always something missing. Sometimes, Teddy didn’t realize what it was until he was alone with his thoughts.

            But it was always Alfie. How Teddy wished his father could be there to see him at his proudest moments.

            “Oh, Ted, he would be so proud of you.” Ruby touched his cheek.

            He leaned into her touch and nodded. “I know. I just think it would’ve been a bit more fun.” He smiled weakly. “Shelbys and Solomons aren’t supposed to mix, y’know.”

            She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, what do you call this then?” She murmured before kissing him deeply.

Warwickshire- April, 1952

         Teddy thought it was such a good idea. His brother-in-law had suggested he bring along the mare on the hunt. Apparently, she was a gift from the Lees and she was very green, hardly broken in at all.

But Charlie said he would be more than capable. And Teddy did not want to shy away from such a task. He’d only been married to Ruby for a little under a year, they’d been engaged for six months and dating for three years. Despite that amount of time, Teddy was still slightly terrified of the Shelby boys. He wasn’t too keen on Arthur unexpectedly grabbing him by the shoulders and jostling him around, he sweated under Tommy’s icy eyes, and didn’t care for Finn’s scathing remarks about his university studies. But it was all in love, at least that’s what Ruby said. Charlie was perhaps the hardest on Teddy, but as the older brother, it was to be expected.

Moments after the engagement at a family event, Charlie hugged Teddy, only to whisper in his ear.

“If you ever break her heart, I’ll fucking gut you and make you eat your intestines.”

All in good fun.

~~~~~~~~~

“You think you can handle her, Teddy?” Tommy asked as they began down the trail.

“That’s what he was asking himself when he proposed to Ruby.” Isaiah jeered and exchanged grins with Finn.

“Oi, enough.” Tommy glared at them. “Fucking beautiful day out, don’t want you idiots ruining it. Now jog on.” He shooed them off and began walking side by side with Teddy.

The young man’s face had gone a little pink. “She was steady on the cross-ties, didn’t fuss much when I tacked her up. Erm, not Ruby I uh-meaning the horse.”

Tommy chuckled and lit up a cigarette. “I knew your father very well. Not as well as your mother of course. But I did see a different side to him.”

A hint of a smile crept onto Teddy’s face. Before, he only used to get sad when Alfie was brought up. But as he grew into a man, he learned to accept the wisdom. Accept the things he never knew about the mysterious man. To listen to the people who had a clearer memory of him. They were his key to getting closer to his late father. “Mum said he was rough around the edges.”

“We were raised very similarly. Raised poor on the streets so we grew to have a rough side.” Tommy agreed, his eyes on the trail ahead of them, steadily moving along with his horse’s smooth walk. “He was fucking clever though. Never could underestimate him ‘less you wanted to get cut.” He let out a sigh, exhaling smoke into the foggy air. “I remember when he told me you were born. Just a little bit before Ruby was born. There was something in his eyes that I’d never seen before. He cared about your mother and you very deeply. That night he was willing to risk his life for you both.”

Teddy listened with bated breath. He wanted his father-in-law to tell him everything. Describe every interaction with Alfie. What was said, what they did, what he looked like, what his emotions were. He wanted to shed more light on the man in the photographs and the man in his dreams.

“You’re not much like him. Not in the way he conducted business.” Tommy clarified before the young man wilted in shame. “But I see the way you look at my daughter. It’s the same look that your father had. I know you would risk your life in order to save her.”

That was a no brainer for Teddy. If it came down to himself or Ruby, he wouldn’t have to think twice about it. “Of course. I would never let her be hurt.”

Tommy smiled slightly and nodded. “That’s how you and Alfie are alike. And it’s a good thing too. Loyalty is well-liked in this family.”

Before Teddy could say anything else, they came across a glen with tall grass. Isaiah, Finn, and Charlie had gone ahead and began hunting through the grass. Without warning, one of them shot wildly into the air.

The young horse under Teddy spooked and began to buck. He did his best to stay on but soon found himself thrown into the ground.

For a moment, he hadn’t even realized what happened. His thoughts became a little fuzzy. All he could process was the sound of the mare galloping off without him. Then, Tommy’s voice found his ears. He was ordering someone to catch the horse as he dismounted and jogged over to Teddy.

“You alright?” The Blinder knelt down and tried to assess any damage. “D’you hit your head?”

Teddy blinked a few times. “Don’t think so.” He groaned when he tried to move. “Can’t feel my fucking arm.”

“Think you landed on it.” Tommy reached out. “I’ll help you sit up. Easy then...”

“Fuck!” Teddy shouted when the movement caused a sharp pain shoot up his arm and into his collarbone.

“Easy, easy. Try to stay still.” Tommy stood. “Curly! D’we have any wraps for the horse’s legs?”

There were a number of footsteps that came running over. Arthur had managed to wrangle in the spooked mare while Isaiah, Finn, and Charlie came to see what the commotion was.

“Couldn’t handle her, Ted?” Charlie chuckled when he saw his brother-in-law sitting in the mud, clutching his arm.

“Oi!” Tommy grabbed his son by the back of the neck. “You fucking warn us when you’re going to shoot, you know that.” He scolded. “Now you can go back to the house with Teddy and explain to your sister what you’ve fucking done to her husband.” He smacked him on the face and went back to tend to Teddy. He did his best to create a makeshift sling with the leg wraps Curly had brought over. “And you better fucking hope that horse isn’t injured either. Now go.” He ordered.

Charlie grimaced but threw his rifle over his shoulder. “C’mon.” He held a hand out to Teddy to help him up.

~~~~~~~~~~

The two walked back down the muddy trail, Teddy clutching his arm, the wraps loosely supporting it.

“I didn’t mean to get you thrown, mate,” Charlie said after a few minutes of silence. “I really did think you would be able to ride her. Rubes always talks about how great of a rider you are.”

“It’s alright,” Teddy replied gently. He didn’t blame his brother-in-law for the incident. All in good fun, right?

Charlie shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’re all just tryna wind you up, you know that right?”

“Oh no, I…Ruby mentioned it wasn’t in malice.”

“Thing is, you’re Alfie Solomons’ son. Y’know people still talk about him? Talk about what he was like and you’re just-you’re very different.”

Teddy might’ve been irked had if not been for the conversation he just had with Tommy. Perhaps he wasn’t capable of the violence his father inflicted. But he would protect his own no matter what.

Charlie chuckled, interrupting Teddy’s thoughts. “You should slug Isaiah for what he said ‘bout Ruby.” He mentioned. “We all want to see if you can throw a punch.”

‘Oh, I’d rather not.” Yes, he’d never been in a fight before but none of the Peaky Blinders needed to know that.

Disappointed, Charlie sighed. “Alright then, I guess Ruby’ll handle it. She’ll never let me live this down.”

“She doesn’t have to know any details.” The two young men exchanged smiles, agreeing to secrecy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby was outside on the lawn reading with her mother when her brother and husband came walking back. She was shocked to see the state Teddy was in, shooting up out of her chair and running towards him.

“What happened?!”

“I got thrown off,” Teddy admitted. “I’m alright, though.”

Ruby glared at her brother. “You put him on that wild mare, didn’t you?” She demanded. “I told you not to fucking do that, you fucking idiot!” She emphasized every word by smacking Charlie with her book.

“Hey, hey!” Her brother tried to bat her away. “Lay off!”

“It wasn’t his fault, love, I was too confident.” Teddy intervened, holding out his good arm to stop the literary assault.

Her forehead wrinkled and she pouted. “Oh, you must be in so much pain. Come inside, romer, I’ll take care of you.” She kissed his cheek and ushered him into Arrow House.

Charlie laughed and shook his head. “I’ll get you to throw a punch one of these days, Solomons!”

All in good fun.

London-1954

            “Fucking hell, Rubes, you’re as big as a whale!” Charlie snickered.

            “Yeah? I could still probably kick your ass!” She snapped back at him but decided to slump down on the couch. It was Christmas and Ruby Solomons was due any day with her first child. Everyone was gathering at Polly’s home in London for the occasion but Ruby arrived before most guests were supposed to arrive.

            Polly smacked Charlie with a dish towel. “Be lucky you’re a man and never have to push out a baby.” She scolded. “Now help me in the kitchen.”

            Charlie sighed but obliged.

            Moments later, Tommy and Lizzie arrived. Lizzie greeted her daughter affectionately. “Oh, you’re just glowing!”

            “God, I feel like I’m dying,” Ruby complained and propped up her feet. “I just want it out of me. And I’m hungry too.” She groaned. “M’always hungry.”  

            Lizzie smiled and kissed her forehead. “I’ll get you something to nibble on before dinner.” She promised and went into the kitchen.

            Tommy sat down in an armchair by the fire. “Where’s Teddy gone off to then?”

            “He dropped me off, wasn’t any parking close enough. Should be here soon.” She answered.

            “Any guesses on the day, then?”

            “Hopefully soon.” Ruby sighed. “Feels like it’s been forever.”

            “Any word on the gender? I heard Polly might’ve told you.” Tommy recalled.

            “A boy.” She smiled. “Ted and I talked, we decided to name him Alfred. And if Polly’s wrong, then we’ll improvise.”

            Tommy frowned a bit. “Alfred? After his father?”

            “Mhm.”

            “Well, did Thomas ever come up in discussions?” He asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

            Ruby glanced over at her father. “Yes, Teddy mentioned it. But I said we ought to name him Alfred. You’re alive, dad. Teddy’s father isn’t.”

            Tommy had a hard time arguing with that logic. “So, if I die soon, you’ll name the next one after me?”

            Ruby snorted and laughed. “Sure, dad, sure.”  

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Masterlist

[shannygoatgruff]

Stay Safe, Stay Home Writing Challenge - (Call me if you need anything) @waiting4inspiration​

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Modern Ivar x OC

Warning: Language, strong sexual content

Rating: M

A/N:  First my apologies for taking so long to post this chapter. I lost the original version of chapter 7, but I hope you enjoy this slightly longer re-write.  I think this story only has 1 or 2 more chapters and it’s done.  I’m almost through telling the story I wanted to tell.

Next, I got the idea for this from experience I had with an ex, with whom I am still very close friends. We were actually talking about this particular encounter recently, and I thought it would be fun to write it. I will say, if you have never had sex with someone that you are truly friends with, you have no idea what you’re missing out on!  I think the sexiest sex is the kind where you talk to your partner.  Maybe it’s just the stage I’m in my life.  What you’re doing doesn’t interest me as much as what’s going on in your head.

Finally, I used the lyrics to ‘Imported’ by Jessie Reyes without permission.  I love her and that song and when I hear it, I see Ivar and Cash.  I have included the video at the end of the chapter - the vibe of the song is how I see them as a couple.

Enjoy!

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7

When Ivar moved across the floor, there was grace in his movements. His motions were fluid, and because he didn’t use his legs to aid him, how he curved his spine to usher his mobility gave him the agility of a big cat stalking his prey. One-shoulder worked in tandem with the hip on the opposite side of his body creating this... glide, that was simply fucking sexy.  Cash found herself wondering how good the view of him crawling would look from underneath him.      

Crawling for Cash, however, was anything but graceful. She hadn’t gotten very far, just from the dresser to the full-length mirror, but fuck a duck if it wasn’t hard. At first, she tried to be all sexy, and crawl on her hands and knees, but when she realized Ivar couldn’t use his knees, she switched to an Army crawl.  

After the first pass across the floor, she knew this crawling idea was going to be short-lived.  Not only did she not possess the upper body strength to keep it up, but she was also getting hella ashy.  It was bad enough the rain had washed away most of her lotion, but now she was sliding around on the carpet. She was going to look like she had been rolling around in flour at any minute. Her mother would have a fucking fit if she saw the state she was in.

And how the hell was she supposed to get her toiletry tote across the room? It wasn’t like it was a backpack. It was hard enough trying to maneuver herself around, let alone bring something with her.  She had tried dragging it and even pushing it in front of her.  Both ways were taking forever.  At the rate she was going, she and the tote would get to the mirror by her 30th birthday.  

Ivar leaned against the bed watching with curiosity.  He had never seen an able-bodied person struggle so hard to crawl. Why didn’t she just get up on all fours? He appreciated that view of her.  It was much more seductive then whatever the hell she was doing now.  Currently, she looked like she was trying to do the worm in a breakdance competition for quadriplegics.  

“It may be easier if you use your arms.  You have all of your weight on your elbows.  Try using your wrists and hands. That way, you can move your bag with you.” Ivar laid on his stomach facing Cash and demonstrated, “See?  Like this…” 

“See, like this,” Cash mocked in a high pitched voice rolling her eyes as she continued to struggle across the floor.  Suddenly, she felt the sting of his hand as it landed flat on her ass. It sounded much worse than it felt.  It didn’t hurt in the least, but she still gave him the evil eye, “Did you just?” she feigned shock.  

Being the youngest child, Ivar got away with a lot of shit.  He was used to blaming one of his brothers for everything and he always got away with it. It became a little game he liked to play with them that he lovingly titled, ‘How much trouble can I get you in?’  It was during that time that he started doing this mocking, side to side head motion to symbolize his victory.  As an adult, during a triumph, he continued to rock his head in this obnoxious manner, only now, it also included a shit-eating grin, followed by a dab.  

Cash watched the most incredibly mischievous smile spread across Ivar’s face as he bobbed his head and then he dabbed the air.  He spoke some foreign words and seemed mighty pleased with himself. “Oh, chuckle it up, Chuckles.” She rolled her eyes and sat up.  “Ya, perv.”

God, he had been wanting to do that ever since she started crawling. He just wanted to see if her ass was really as soft as it looked.  It was, and it had the right amount of bounce.  “Sorry. I could not resist,” his smile was so big, it was hard to make out what he was saying, “You were making fun of me. It was all I could think to do,” he whined.

Cash turned toward the mirror and started to dump out the contents of her bag. She picked up her wide-tooth comb and folded her legs beneath her. Leaning into the mirror, she fixed her eyes squarely on his image, “If you wanted to cop a feel, all you had to do was ask.”  She watched as his mouth opened and closed, like a fish. 

“What are you going to do?”  He asked, folding his hands in his lap. 

Cash parted her hair down the middle and secured half of it with a ponytail holder. Carefully detangling the other half with a comb, she reached in the bag for a jar and struggled with the top, “I’m going to put my hair in two braids, so I won’t look totally crazy.”  She held the jar out to Ivar.  “Can you open this for me?”

Silently, he crawled to where she sat and took the jar out of her hands.  With one turn he had the lid opened.  “This smells wonderful. What is it?”  

“A moisturizing mask.”

“It smells like coconuts and berries, and…and,” he took another big sniff but couldn’t quite place the scent, “I don’t know but it is amazing.  It smells soft. Like you.”

“Jasmine,” she took the jar from his hand and tried not to blush.  He thought she smelled soft?  “I made this.”

“You make this?”

“It’s not hard,” she shrugged, “All you need are some essential oils for the smell and different kinds of butters.  It’s pretty easy.  It’s good to keep moisture in.  I could even use it on your hair and it wouldn’t be greasy.  See feel.” She titled her hair for Ivar to feel her hair without the moisturizer. “Now you know I must like you because I’m letting you touch my hair.”  Then, she scooped a small amount of product onto her palm before rubbing it into her hair. After she had worked it though she tilted her head toward him again.  “Now feel.”

His eyes grew with amazement.  “That feels awesome.”  Of course, he couldn’t help but bring his nose to her hair.  “And it smells good.” His nose brushed the side of her ear before making its way to her neck, then back into her hair.  “I like this smell.”

Cash giggled at the feeling, but she couldn’t ignore the tiny goosebumps that started to prickle every inch of her skin.  “Do you know how to braid?”  She asked feeling her neck slowly start to lean more into the warmth of this breath. 

“Hmm?” He looked at her eyes in the mirror and noticed that he had been rubbing her arm.  When did that happen?  What the hell was in that jar? “Braid?  A little. I used to help my mother when I was young. She has very long hair.” He watched as a smooth smile crossed Cash’s face.  “Oh, no.  I cannot. I am terrible at it.”  

“Oh, you know nothing, Jon Snow,” she handed him a brush, “you do mine, and  I’ll do yours.”

“And we can have a sleeping party, like girlfriends,” he mocked in a high pitched girl voice and twirled his hair around his finger, “...and paint each other’s nails and do make-overs!”

“That’s a slumber party, jerk. And as long as there are no pillow fights, I’d be okay with it.”  She nudged his shoulder with her own. “But, I hope you don’t want to be my girlfriend.”

Ivar took the comb from Cash and looked at the floor.  He didn’t want to chance to catch her eyes in the mirror, just in case, “I was really kind of hoping that you would want to be mine.”  

“Really?”  Cash asked said softly before capturing his lips for a soft kiss.  “Good. It’s about time.  I was getting gray hair over here, waiting on you to make a move...”  Smiling into his lips, she wondered, how did her tongue always end up in his mouth?  Was she capable of kissing him without needing to feel his velvety tongue on hers?  She pulled away slightly and pecked him a few more times. “Now, I can’t be all kissing and everything with my hair looking like this.  I’m too cute to be looking this tore up. So you helping or nah?”  

Braiding each other’s hair had been the most intimate thing Cash had ever done with a man, besides Glenn, with her clothes on.  Why was it so easy to trust him?  She let him touch her hair – generally speaking, black women don’t let people other their mothers or their hairdresser touch their hair. Hell, Cash’s parents had been married for over 30 years and she seriously doubted that her father had ever touched her mother’s hair. She had known this man for almost 48 hours and she had already let him see her with ashy legs.  What the fuck was really going on?  

It was something more than just being comfortable around him being bushy and ashy, that’s for sure.  Maybe it was the fact that the things that she normally would be embarrassed about she didn’t give a fuck about anymore. She was pretty sure that if she needed to fart in front of him, she would have,  That’s how secure she felt with him.  

Ivar was amazed that he stopped focusing on his the fact that his bare legs were showing and that he was crawling, hours ago. Whatever it was that he was nervous about before he had met Cash in person seemed like a distant memory.  He had just let this woman braid his hair like he was a girl playing beauty shop. 

Granted, the hairstyle looked badass, especially with the way his head was shaved on the sides – but he knew for sure none of his brothers would have let their girlfriends do that.  Hvitserk would talk shit to him about it for years to come because of it, too.  But, he didn’t care, it felt right.  Everything about her delicate fingers gripping his hair and gently massaging his scalp felt incredible. If she wanted to take every braid out and start all over, he would let her.  He would let her do whatever she wanted if it would make her smile.

Speaking of smiling, as he flipped through his phone for more music for them to listen to, his face lit up when he ran across their song. “You feel like singing?” As soon as the opening beat of Imported by Jessie Reyes ft. 6lack started playing, Cash let her head lean back and smiled.  

Ivar grabbed a brush, and handed her one, too.  If they were going to do this duet any justice, they both needed their microphones and to get into character. Mother nature was already setting the scene outside with the rain still beating down against the patio, creating the perfect backdrop for their music video. 

Bringing the hairbrush up to his mouth, he wanted Cash to see how he had choreographed his movements to the song.  He only wished that he had his braces on because he had an entire dance to go with it.  

Hi, my name is 6Lack And sometimes people me SIX-LACK I don’t mind because they stubborn And my bank account is looking mighty fine We can skip the wine and dine Go straight for the wind and grind She wanna cum, I can make it happen, fuck trying

Ivar rolled his hips from his sitting position on the floor with a devilish look on his face that made Cash lick her lips.  Damn, that boy could sing. Plus, he was sexy and gyrating…fuck! She was trying so hard to be good, but the song was talking about going straight for the wind and grind making people cum and sexy stuff and whatnot…she was only human.

Sometimes, I get messy, you can be my biggest secret I ain’t sliding if you wit him Baby, you gon’ have to have to leave him

Ivar wagged his finger at Cash to let her know that he wasn’t the cheating type. He winked at her when she smiled. 

I got morals on Sundays, sometimes on Wednesdays

He shrugged his shoulder and raised a brow.

Really, it depends but,

Ivar tried his best not to laugh at the face she was making at his stage-worthy performance. He was giving her his best big dick energy vibes. 

You, you’re in love with somebody else Maybe I could offer some help (Maybe I could offer some help) Get over them by getting under me

He watched as Cash closed her eyes and began to sing.  He could listen to her sing all day.  She had a beautiful voice and he loved the changes she made to songs. He especially loved what she did to Jessie Reyes’s part of this song.  

But you might O.D. if you get too much of me Might O.D. if you get too much of me

Cash, too, had a routine for this song, but she was not going to do it for him. Instead, she just did what felt natural at the moment.  She ran her hand down her throat to her collarbone then pulled her legs up to her chest. As she sang, she rubbed her cheek against her knee and gave him a vulnerable stare…

Hi, my name is not important I’m not from here, I’m imported I drink liquor like it’s water Hope my liver can afford it I’ve been lyin’ here with I’ve been lyin…, I’ll be lyin here I’m under the covers like

Her voice…that was the same voice he had listened to countless times over the phone, that was singing to him in person.  It was a little overwhelming.  He reached up and cupped her cheek, and when she opened her eyes he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss so slow and deep and it conveyed every thought and feeling that Ivar couldn’t put into words. 

He had so much he wanted to tell her, too.  Like how he was glad she replied to his comment that day on the Jessie Reyes blog for this song.  He had been listening to Imported on repeat because he was still in love with Freydis.  Even though they had been broken up for a couple of years and he didn’t want her back, he couldn’t get over her.  He was stuck mourning for what they could have been. He had so many hopes and dreams for them.  He thought he had found a beautiful woman that could love him despite his disabilities and he would have a chance at a normal life.  But, it didn’t work that way. Nothing in his life ever worked out that way.

Enter this song and this girl: the song was about finding someone to help you get over a broken heart and the girl...she was feeling a certain way because her first serious boyfriend, who she hadn’t been for over five years, was getting married.  Feelings had a funny way of fucking you up.  

But there they were; keyboard gangsters, in their feelings and being flirty.  They were two people on different continents who were never going to meet, so what harm was it to bare their souls?  Nobody ever died from having another friend; especially friends that liked to sing loved musicals and could go into a monologue from a movie with just the last word of a sentence. Really, friends like that were hard to come by.  

Now, if things kept going in the right direction, soon they would be lovers.  

Thank you, Jessie Reyes.

Cash bit Ivar’s neck, causing him to groan and squeeze her body tighter. Good thing the rain hadn’t washed off the scent of Aqua di Gio that seemed to be oozing from his pores.  Damn! How did he know exactly what scents got her going?  Did this man always smell like walking sex?  And was it natural for a man to have skin this damn soft?  

She watched her fingers as they trailed the lines of his tattoo along his left shoulder.  “What’s this?”  She asked as her fingertips came dangerously close to his nipple, before tracing the line back up the head of the figure to the center of his chest.

Ivar watched her nail slowly move across his skin and tucked his lip in between his teeth at the feeling.  “The mythical Norse dragon, Fáfnir.” Did his voice just crack?  She made him feel like a teenager all over again.  

Cash giggled.  She loved the way he suddenly started rolling his “r” and how his “th” started to sound like a z.  Had it always and she just not notice?  “Your accent is stronger,” she let her tongue follow along the line of his jaw, “it’s so sexy.”  

“It’s hard to concentrate on English,” he said matter-of-factly, making sure to slur his Norwegian tongue into his English words,  hands still gripping her waist, gently rocking with her on his lap, “when you do that.”  He pointed his chin toward the ceiling to grant her better access to his Adam’s apple, “You know, I don’t think I have ever been in this situation and had to speak English.”

Cash's eyes opened in bewilderment as she lifted her head. “You know what? I’ve never seen an uncircumcised penis.”  The thought just hit her.  If they were about to go there and she hoped to God they were, they needed to get all of this shit out of the way.  She sat back on his thighs and looped her arms around his neck.  

Ivar’s smile was so big, his eyes crinkled in the corners.  “Now?  You think of that now?  Really?” 

“I’m serious.”  She said settling back with a slight pout, “Circumcision is a big thing in the US, like everybody does it.  But here, not so much, right?  I mean, you’re not Jewish, are you?”  She raised her brow and nudged her head toward him.  “You know what I mean?”

He shook his head.  “You want to know if I am?”

“Kinda?”  Talk about killing the mood.  There were things that she might want to try with him, but she wanted to know what she might be in for first. Nobody liked those kinds of surprises during sex.  “ Is that weird?”  There were just certain things you need to be upfront about. Even though she suspected she wasn’t certain. 

Ivar shrugged with a glint of mischief in his eyes.  “Perhaps you will just have to find out.”  

“Oh, just tell me.”  She slapped his bare chest and rolled her eyes when he made a face like it hurt. “I’ll tell you something.”  

“I’m not telling you that.  But, I will tell you, that I have never seen brown nipples.”  He ran his fingers between Cash’s bra straps and her shoulders, slowly lowering the straps down her arm. When she didn’t protest, he continued to pull the straps lower.  He looked her in the eyes while she bent her arms through the loops to free herself of them. 

Sucking his lip, he let his eyes trail from hers down to her lips, then lower to her neck.  He admired how her pulse quickened when his hands touched just above her cleavage and when his thumbs gently pushed the lace down to expose her to him, he wanted to lick the hollow of her throat.  “You are beautiful.”  

Brown, white, black or pink, skin was skin, and Cash’s was beautiful and the skin on her breasts was just as soft and warm as the rest of her.  He patiently waited while she unhooked her bra and discarded it away from them, before he wrapped his muscular arms around her, burying his face in between her breasts. “I love boobs.” 

“Really?” She said smiling, as he looked up at her from the middle of her chest. “You didn’t strike me a breast man.” 

“I am an everything man.”  He smiled rubbing his face across her soft skin.  “What is that smell?  God…”  

“Ahh…that is Heliotrope Gingembre,  my favorite perfume.”

“Mine now, too,” he said absently.  Closing his eyes with his head laid on her chest.

She kissed him on the top of his head and started to rub the back of his neck, “You think I don’t know that you’re avoiding my question?  I shared.”

“I did not ask you a question and you did not tell me anything.”  He looked up at her and started to bob his head with that shit-eating grin again.  

“I will pop that little bobblehead of yours off your shoulders.  Now you’re just cheating.”  She rolled off his lap and laughed when he pouted at her and started to reach for her like a child.  “Not until you answer me.”  She sat next to him, but faced him and absently rubbed her hand along the hair on his legs.

He watched in amazement as she did.  She didn’t seem the least bit weirded out by his scars. “Okay, I’m sorry. You want to know if I was cut as a baby?” Ivar laid back on the floor and laced his hand with hers.  He looked at their joined hands and held them up to his line of vision before rolling his wrist. Why prolong the inevitable?  She was going to find out sooner or later.  He figured, if she could see his legs and be perfectly with fine them, odds were she'd okay with an unsnipped prick.  “No,  I was not.”  He laid her hand on his stomach with the laziest hint of a smirk on his face.

“Hmm. Interesting,” she responded wiggling her toes.  She chewed the inside of her lip for a moment then shrugged her shoulders.  “Okay,” she got up on her knees and knelt beside him.  Cash let her hands trail down his muscular stomach and found herself smile when she realized that he was ticklish in the spot between his navel and his waist. 

Carefully, her deft fingers slid under the grey waistband of his boxer briefs before she smoothed her hands around to his hips.  Slowly, she lowered the shorts down his legs, never once taking her eyes off of his.  Since Ivar couldn’t hoist his backside off the floor, he aided her by rocking from side to side as she continued to pull the garment down lower and lower. 

And there he was.  Ivar Ragnarsson in all of his birthday glory.  He was a sexy man.  It was the moment of truth and Cash didn’t quite know what to do or say. Was she supposed to comment or compliment?  Was she supposed to touch him or ask questions? There was so much she wanted to do, but she wasn’t sure if any of it was okay.  

“So?” Ivar placed one hand behind his head and the other on his chest.  “No witty observations?”

“Well, you already know you’re sexy, AF.”  She tilted her head and let her fingers trace the dark line of hair that traveled from his navel to the soft tufts at his groin. “But this…it’s different.”

“Different?  What the hell does that mean?” Ivar laughed.  “It looks the same to me.” 

Her eyes got big and she nodded, “Well, you’ve seen it before.  I haven’t…” She touched it.  It felt the same as others she’d held in her hands.  It was thick, had a nice length, and just the right amount of curve to it.  The bounce back, when she pulled it toward her and let it go, so that it slapped back against his pelvis, made a good sound.  By all accounts, it was a normal cock.  It was hard, and hot in her hands and she even noticed how Ivar’s stomach clenched when she made contact with it.  “So does it feel different?”

“Different than what?” He asked with a labored breath as she continued to hold and turn him over in her hand.  “It feels the same to me.”  Did she know what she was doing to him? She wasn’t jerking him or doing anything sexual, not really, merely touching and having a conversation with him.  It was such a turn on.  

“Let me show you.”  He removed his hand from behind his head and placed it on himself. Lifting his head, he attempted some sort of origami thing with the skin.  “This, I think, is what you are used to seeing.”  He rolled his eyes in his head and sucked his teeth, “Whatever.”  He released the skin and smiled.  “My way is much better.  Much more sensation.” 

“Oh, really?”  She was intrigued.  If she were being honest, it wasn’t the cutest one she’d ever seen.  But, that was because she just wasn’t used to it, yet. She was sure in a few days, she would think it was the hottest one she’d ever seen! “How so?”

“This part in there…feels everything, sometimes too much.”  He picked up her hand and placed it back on his swollen member, before closing his eyes at the feeling, “Sometimes, you have to touch it through the skin…”

“Like a clit?” 

Ivar shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know.  I do not have one of those.”  He let his hand travel up Cash’s thigh and settle right below her hip.  “If direct pressure is applied to you, does it make you,” he wound his hands to try to drive the words forward, “finish faster?”

Now it was Cash’s turn to shrug, “Honestly?  I’ve never had an orgasm with another person.”

“What?”  Ivar sat up, instantly regretting the warmth of her hand leaving his body.  “Are you serious?”  This was great!  Neither had he. But wait…if neither of them had, then this could be the worst awkward first sexual experience in the history of awkward first sexual experiences. They would either be eternally frustrated or their first sexual encounter could literally last indefinitely.  

“Yup. Not ever.”  Cash sat up on her knees so that he had full access to her hips. She placed her hands on his and watched as he slowly started to pull down her panties.  “I think the guys that I’ve been with think all women like the same things.  They don’t want to hear that you might want something different, or they just are in it for themselves. I just usually finish myself off.”

Ivar smoothed the lace down her thighs and held still as she used his shoulders to brace herself against him so she could lift each knee up to allow him to slide the material under her legs. 

He didn’t want to seem like a total pervert but he couldn’t help but look at her. She was right next to him with the most neatly trimmed Mohawk he’d ever seen.  “You’re into landscaping?”  He didn’t reply when she nodded.  Instead, he pressed his lips to her stomach.  “So, when you finish yourself off, do you do it alone or in front of others?”

“Like do I perform?”  She gently caressed his head, “It depends on how deserving the audience is.”  

God, he wanted her.  But, he needed to get one more thing out in the open before that could happen.  He wanted total transparency between them, once and for all.  “Me either.” 

He felt his head being lifted from her warm skin and but he immediately dropped his eyes in embarrassment, “I have never had an orgasm during sex.  The doctor thinks it was stress.”   

“That is so sad,” she wanted to hug him, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad.   She was used to it.  There were millions of women who never had and probably never will have an orgasm – so was the plight of being a woman. But for Ivar to never experience it?  He was too sweet a guy.  It nearly broke her heart. “Do you at least get anything out of it?”

“Yeah. I like giving pleasure to someone else.” He tried to sound upbeat, but it wasn’t exactly a happy subject for him.  What he was saying was true, he used to thoroughly enjoy making Freydis feel good. But, what about him? Didn’t he deserve to feel that way? Shouldn’t he get to experience an orgasmic high, at least once in his life?  At least one time that wasn’t self-inflicted? “ And it does feel good.”

“Do you finish yourself off?”

“Never in front of anyone.”  A devilish smile crept across Ivar’s face and when Cash saw that mischievous twinkle in those beautiful blue eyes, her face broke out in a smile, too.  

Ivar had had many sexual conversations with women before but never before had he had a sex conversation with his partner.  This whole thing, this talking and being together, looking at, touching, and getting to know about each other…all of this intimacy was amazing.  

It was scary as hell for both of them, but damn it all if it didn’t feel natural.  Even if their first time together wouldn’t be perfect, or they would have figure out who couldn’t do what because of physical limitations or just plain dislike, it would all pay off in the end.  Neither of them had a point to try to prove to the other or to themselves.  All they needed to do was enjoy each other.  Who cared if neither had an orgasm?  For the first time, they both were feeling something they hadn’t felt in a very long time.  They felt at home, and safe with each other.   

Cash closed the space between them and pressed her lips to his, “Bed or floor.” She laughed when he laid back and put both hands behind his head.  “Oh yea, carpet burns and group masturbation...I knew you were freaky.” 

Tags: @oddsnendsfanfics​  @a-mess-of-fandoms​​ @waiting4inspiration @simsadventures​ @chipster-21​  @tgrrose​  @alicedopey​   @thelastemzy​​  @naaladareia​ @alexa4040​ @absolutelynotanidiot​ @pokeasleepingsmaug​ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme​ @skadithegoddess​  @dina-m16​  @tiyetiye​ @synnersaint​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings@moonlightsspirit​ @geekandbooknerd​​ @dreamlesswonder86​ @inforapound @youbloodymadgenius​ @cruelfvckingsummer​ @mummybear @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @honestsycrets @thatendymion @jzr201

[murasaki-murasame]

I knew that Ao no Flag was ending soon, but I didn’t expect chapter 53 to straight up be the second-to-last one, lol.

Anyway this chapter was fucking WILD and I legit have no idea how it’s going to end now.

This is also a good time to do my monthly reminder that volume 1 is going to be coming out in English in April, a few weeks after the final chapter comes out.

Thoughts under the cut.

I guess it should have been pretty obvious that this whole trip to visit Touma would be The Big Emotional Climax [tm] of the manga, but I still thought we’d have slightly more to go. I’m not complaining, though, and I don’t necessarily think the ending feels rushed. The time skip is kinda jarring, but that’s just because I didn’t see it coming. It makes a lot of sense that we’d get a big time-skip epilogue after the main drama between the main trio was wrapped up.

I think one reason why I thought we had slightly more left to the story was because volume 8 looks like it’s now going to cover chapters 49 to 54, which is six chapters, compared to how most volumes have had seven chapters thus far. It’s entirely possible that the final chapter’s going to be longer than normal, though.

Anyway, the bulk of this chapter was basically what I expected, but it was still really heartwarming. I still hope that certain things with characters like Masumi get resolved in the final chapter, but it made sense to have this chapter be entirely focused on the main trio, and how they more or less resolved the emotional tension between them.

There was something almost anti-climactic about it, but there were only so many ways it could have gone, and as the end of the chapter spelled out, it’s not like everything was suddenly perfect between them after that point.

It was a little annoying how in spite of what Taichi said about wanting to have a proper conversation with Touma, we didn’t actually get to see Touma talk very much. But oh well. We’ll probably see more of him in the final chapter as well.

For better or worse, the whole scene of the three of them at the beach together shouting ‘I love you’ into the sea was really cute. And then all that heartwarming teenage emotional sincerity gets stopped dead in it’s tracks with the sequence of time-skips where we immediately find out that Taichi and Futaba broke up a few years later and then years after that he gets invited to her wedding, lol.

Not to be extremely biased on main or anything but I feel slightly . . . validated by the reveal that their relationship didn’t last long. Something about it always felt a bit superficial and childish. But in a normal, realistic sort of way.

I’m kinda curious to see who Futaba ended up married to, even if they’re just some random person we haven’t seen before. In my heart of hearts I want her to have ended up with Masumi, if only to help make up for Masumi’s lack of character development and emotional resolution, but even if we ignore the fact that, y’know, Japan hasn’t really legalized same-sex marriage yet, it’s probably a bit of a pipedream anyway.

Honestly anything would be fine as long as she didn’t end up marrying Touma, lmao. That’d basically cause me to immediately regret ever having read the series. But I think that’s pretty unlikely. I think she probably just ended up meeting someone during the whole time-skip period who we haven’t seen before.

The final chapter’s still probably going to give a run-down of where all of the important characters are at this point in time, though, so hopefully one way or another we’ll get some resolution for characters like Masumi.

I’m really curious to see how things turned out with Taichi after he broke up with Futaba. There’s some visual hints that he’s currently living with someone, but he might just have a room-mate and there’s nothing noteworthy going on there.

Is it too much of a pipe dream to hope that he and Touma actually ended up dating as the years went on? lol

I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of them are just, like, totes 100% platonic roomies now, but that’d feel a little bit awkward, all things considered. It’s one thing to have them just be friends with each other from that point on, but still.

One way or another it’d be nice if we find out that Touma got himself a boyfriend. I’d feel kinda depressed if both him and Masumi ended up single. The dude deserves SOMETHING after all the shit he got put through in the main story.

There’s really just not much to go on at this point, though, so basically we’re all just left to speculate about how we hope things ended up for everyone after this whole time-skip, and we have to just wait until next month to see how it all wraps up.

The final chapter has a lot of potential to completely taint my enjoyment of the series as a whole, but with how things stand now, I still really like it, in spite of it’s faults. I still think it’d be nice if it ended up getting an anime adaptation as well. Now that we know it’s ending with the next chapter, I think it’s safe to say that it could be fit pretty nicely into a 24-ish episode length. But in the short term I just hope that I actually like how the ending goes, lol

[scandeniall]

mirrors for friends ch //4

pairing: TBD x reader

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wc: 2338

during songs: reader is normal text, atsumu is italicized and bold denotes them singing together

Ch 4 New Tattoos and Dates

The bell above the door rang signaling a visitor to the tattoo shop. Iwaizumi didn’t pay it much attention as he continued setting up his station, one earbud in. If it were some walk in, he had no doubt that one of the other artists would take it and he didn’t have any scheduled appointments. It was an average Wednesday afternoon. Very few walk-ins during the middle of a workday, and he had 2 appointments which had been done earlier, and a consultation in the early evening. The call of his name by the shop's receptionist, caused him to halt. Looking at the cause of his disturbance he was met with the familiar face of his friend and lead singer of his band. After a quick thanks and greeting, Iwaizumi led the girl towards the back of the shop, to his station. 

“So what’s up (Y/N).” Iwaizumi had, texted you earlier in the day, to confirm whether or not you two were still in for a quick session. He’d also checked if you were interested in color so that he could be as close to set up as possible for when you arrived. He knew it wouldn’t be too long, or else you wouldn’t have made the trip during your lunch break. 

“Well obviously I want a tattoo,” you murmured, shuffling through your tote bag for something. You heard Iwaizumi restate obviously, before he went to get a new box of gloves from the back room. By the time he had come back you found what you were looking for and handed him a sheet of paper that had been folded at least 10 times. “I want this.”

You watched as your friend traced his fingers over the lines of the worn paper. “It’s pretty. Did-“

“Yeah. He did,” you cut your friend off confirming his suspicion on who drew the design. “He did it a few months ago. And the way things are now, I just wanted to finally get it on me. So I could quit walking around with the paper, y’know.” Iwaizumi nodded in response, before pulling you into a hug. “How’s he doing,” he whispered, pulling away just enough to look at you. “Same as usual.” The sad smile on your face caused an uncomfortable pain in his own chest. “But hey, at least things aren’t getting worse. Now stop going all soft on me, I’m tryna get tatted.” Your voice didn’t have its usual lilt present when teasin, but nonetheless Iwaizumi pulled away after placing a light kiss on your temple. “You know we’re here for you,” Iwaizumi felt the need to remind you and with that you slightly returned to normal. “Yes dad I know. Now c’mon I only have an hour.” Unbuttoning your shirt, you relaxed on the cushioned table. 

The needle buzzing was like music to your ears. You’d laid quietly on your side, scrolling through your phone as your friend bent over you, bringing the picture to life. The stinging on your side wasn’t too bad. You'd been able to do that until he got to the part of your tattoo that came on your inner rib cage. Your flinching hadn’t gone unnoticed by your friend. “How you holding up. This area hurts like a bitch.” You hummed in response before telling him to distract you. 

“Well I’m going on a date this weekend after practice,” Iwaizumi said pausing to dip more ink. 

“The Iwaizumi Hajime is going on a date. Dude how long has it been.”

“You’re annoying. It hasn’t been that long you know.”

“It’s been like 3 years dude. But you’re better than the rest of us I suppose. Our band is literally full of failures in love.” You laugh before wincing. Iwaizumi offers a quick apology before agreeing with you. He was the member that went on the least number of dates, mostly due to not wanting to deal with the games and drama that came with dating in your 20s. Iwaizumi had always held some sentiment of not wanting to waste his time, but that seemed to only grow stronger the older he got. 

The man remembers his only serious and long term relationship years ago. He met her at 17, the two dating for 4 whole years. Years that turned out to be a waste of his time. He’d ended up getting sent pictures of his girlfriend cheating on him. Her and the guy were cuddled up kissing and seeming very much in love right in the middle of a park. The guy was completely opposite of him. Once he confronted the girl about it she told him that he was too rigid for her. Too made of steel and rough around the edges. He was more outgoing and extroverted and everything Iwaizumi wasn’t. He wore the type of clothes Iwaizumi would cringe at but wore anyway to make the girl happy. The new guy didn’t have any tattoos or any ear piercings and apparently the two of them just clicked. At the time of the breakup the artist had been in the early stages of his friendships with you and Kuroo around that time, and the two of you helped him deal with his heartbreak through writing. 

The three of you crafted one of the songs that the band still played often. If You Can’t Hang. It was written before you had even met Atsumu, let alone became a band. It was the first time Iwaizumi had gotten into song writing, and that first song is still being played by you all. 

“She came in for a tattoo a few weeks ago. We’ve been texting since.” You hum in acknowledgement, as he put the finishing touches. The minute you felt the fmailr coolness of foam hit your skin, you locked your phone. “All done, come take a look.” You took your friends hand as he walked you towards his mirror. Maneuvering the button up blouse, you looked at the art, a gasp escaping your mouth. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.” While you were usually better with words, your friend knew that this time was different. He carefully examined your posture, to make sure you were really ok, before you turned to face him. 

The sincerity in your eyes whenever you allowed Iwaizumi to tattoo you never failed to put a smile on his face. While this wasn't the first tattoo he’d given you (you insisted on never going to another artist since you and Kuroo met him all those years ago), this one is now your most personal one to date. He knew it, and you trusted him. “Anytime kid,” he replied, now covering the new art with plastic. “You're only a year older, Iwa.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you buttoned up your shirt. “Yet, I’ve become a dad to three brats. I know you have to go, so let's get you all checked out.”

You paid and then started your trek back to work, pulling up the band group chat: 

‘Just got tatted ;)’ Attached was a photo of your new tattoo. Three wildflowers whose stems overlapped to resemble a bouquet. A budding rose, a peony and a gardenia, whose stems had small buds coming out of them. You laughed at the reactions from your friends. Atsumu uses a sickening amount of emojis to hype you.

‘Damn (Y/N).’ 

A minute later you opened up your individual texts with Kuroo to see his response to the new ink. 

‘Just let me know when, and I’m there.’

----

You eyed the time on your phone before glancing back towards your drummer who had been typing away at his phone. When you caught his eye you gave a knowing nod. His date was tonight, and he hadn’t mentioned it to any of the other two boys chatting away. It was nearing 8pm, around the time you guys usually stopped for the night. You all had time to practice 1 more song.

“Hey how do you guys feel about running Agree to Disagree again. I wanna try the guitar backing for Kuroo again. Then let's call it a night?” The rounds of approval caused you to go pick up your own guitar. “Yo (Y/N) we doing version 1 or 2,” Atsumu asked excitedly. Considering this song was largely written by him, it was one of his favorites. You had to admit, it was a fun song as well. If Kuroo was your meaningful genius, and Iwaizumi the heartbreak specialist, Atsumu’s songs were fun.

Agree to Disagree absolutely screamed Atsumu. It was smooth, and cocky just like him. His bass in the song was also insane. It was him in a song, and that showed whenever you guys played that song. You remember when you first heard the lyrics in the first verse about him not having time for anyone other than himself. You’d teased him about the fact that at least he was self aware. This song was also one of the only where you, Atsumu, and Kuroo all did some vocal work. Kuroo being on the bridge had been due to the fact that he helped Atsumu write the song and that the two of them didn’t know what else to do for the end. 

The differences in the song versions were whether you backed Atsumu more or if he backed you more. The two of you also went back and forth more creating for what felt like a more energetic and dynamic version of the song on 2. After thinking about your attempt at guitar in this song, which you didn’t do too often, you felt confident in your choice. “Fuck it, lets do version 2. All in boys” You high fived your bassist as you heard Iwaizumi count you all down and Kuroo strums the first chords.

Maybe I should care a little more about what everybody thinks But I just don't have the time for nobody but me The mood I'm in keeps changing like the weather So you can keep the sun 'cause I like the night time better You think you're better than me? You don't like what you see? I think it's best we agree to disagree

You’d picked up the guitar backing easily this time around, and felt comfortable enough to start engaging with your bandmates. The second half of the chorus you’d made your way over to Atsumu, leaning so that you were sharing his microphone. 

I'm doing fine by myself I never asked for your help I think it's best we agree to disagree

I wear my heart on my sleeve like a worn-out sweater But with a needle and some thread, I've been keeping it together Life's too short to be worried 'bout whatever So you keep shining in the sun, but I like the night time better

The ending of the song was met with high fives all around. “You did good (Y/N). Think we’re ready to take that version live.” Kuroo complimented you, taking the guitar you handed him before running your arm across your sweaty forehead. “Thanks dude. Maybe. That felt good. What’d you think Tsumu?” You were meant with a sweaty body throwing himself at you, to which you cringed. 

“Hell yeah. Stop pushing me away, I’m tryna love ya.” 

“Iwa, get him off of me.” You managed to push the younger boy off, but not before the oldest member told you that you were out of luck. The 4 of you cleaned up, 3 of you grabbing your instruments and their cases, as you all made your way to Iwaizumi’s front door. “Samu’s going out tonight any of ya wanna join?” Iwaizumi made some excuse about wanting to clean up, causing you to laugh at the lie. You looked at Kuroo who shook his head. “Can’t man. Got an early meeting tomorrow for this project. I need my beauty sleep.”

“Too bad your beauty sleep doesn’t do shit for your hair.”

“Says the old man, turning down a night out to clean up.” Kuroo yawns, being the first one to head outside the rest of you following. He reaches for your guitar case, now holding them both before nodding towards your car. “I took the motorcycle tonight.” He spoke, forcing your attention to the bike, his mother had gifted him once he graduated college. “I just had Iwa stop by my place earlier and pick it up. Anyways, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. We’re filming a youtube video right?” At your confirmation, Kuroo nodded before placing both instruments in your back seat. He gave the three of you a last wave, before riding off. 

“I’m down to go out. Just let me head home first to shower. I miss Samu anyways.”

The bassist nods, typing a message, presumably to Osamu. “I can pick you up, just text me when you're ready.” You groan, causing him to shoot you an annoyed glance. “Dude, that means I’m gonna have to sit in your backseat while you take your hookup home.”

“That hasn’t happened in years. Besides, I’m too tired to pick up someone tonight. Just tryna get a drink or two and hang out.” Your reluctant agreeing, causes the bassist to head off, He bids Iwaizumi a goodbye, and promises to see you in a few. 

“Has it really been years, since he pulled that?” Iwaizumi’s question causes you to laugh. He knew the three of you well enough to know that saying years was probably a stretch. “It's been maybe a year. But this time, I won’t have you or Kuroo to call.”  

“You’ll be fine. Text me what bar you guys go to so I go anywhere but there. Be safe tonight, and tell Osamu I said hello.” You give the man a nod and a thumbs up before walking to your own car. You notice he watches as you get in the vehicle and roll your window down to yell out. “Good luck on the date. Go get us a real band mom!”

a/n: whew yes i am finally on plot track now. Also remember because i dont know which guy this is gonna be (only because i love my ideas for them all) for I take any and all suggestions. Anyways, the link is the exact tattoo and placement bc its cute to me. I’ve honestly had this written for at least 2 days now but i dont want to seem like im posting too much? BUT Let the plot commence now! 

taglist: @o51oc

[bittysvalentines]

Only if You Want To

From @bitty-smol​

To @pastelle-pvnk

Rating: Teen (for swearing)

Hey pastelle-pvnk! I hope you like your gift, because I had a lot of fun writing it for you! (P.S. we should totes become friends because we have a lot of the same interests, so hit me up <3)

That being said, he was sure of at least one thing: he was in love with his coworker, Derek Malik Nurse. 

He was not necessarily a willing participant in this. The revelation came as a shock to him and once the thought crossed his mind, it wouldn’t leave. No matter how many times Dex tried to forget about his unfortunate unrequited love, it would just come back full force. 

It came like this: Nursey chirping him in the middle of a shift and then proceeding to eat shit while hopping the counter.

how am i in love with a man who can barely stand on his own two feet?

oh shit.

If anything, that should’ve helped the whole “in-love-with-your-completely-idiotic-coworker” thing, since Nurse was forced to take paid leave for a good month while his leg healed. Dex thought that not seeing him would lessen whatever he was feeling, but in retrospect it made it so much worse. 

He missed Nursey. Like, a lot. Like, more than you should hypothetically miss a coworker, regardless of the crush you have on them. 

That’s why, when Nursey finally returned, he couldn’t help the small tug he felt in his chest or the urge he felt to step out from behind the counter and hug Nursey as soon as he got close enough.

“Woah, Poindexter. Did you really miss me that much?” Nursey muttered against Dex’s shoulder. 

Dex’s heart hurt.

“No, but I did miss you at register. Johnson kept telling the customers that he was only taking over until the main love interest gets back, whatever that means.” Dex folded his arms and looked over at Johnson who was currently staring at him and Nursey as if he knew something they didn’t.

“Yeah, well I’m glad to be back,” Nursey stepped back from Dex, “I didn’t think I would miss going home smelling like pastries, but turns out it grew on me. I’m gonna go say hi to Bitty and clock in.” Nursey turned towards Bitty’s office and started walking away.

“Um, Nursey!” Dex shouted, his hand coming up to the back of his neck as if he could cover the blush that was creeping up. Nursey turned slowly, his face blank.

“Yes, Poindexter?”

“I, um,” Dex met Nursey’s eyes with his own.”I did. Uh, miss you, that is.”

Dex’s blush couldn’t help but crawl up his cheeks as he saw the smile that spread across Nursey’s face. 

“I missed you too, Dexy.” Nursey said, turning his back and heading back towards Bitty’s office.

Before Dex could let the “I missed you too” comment take over him he managed to call back “Don’t call me that, Nurse!”

Nursey couldn’t help but smile.

_X_

Nursey is in love. But then again, he always is. 

Derek Nurse cannot remember a time in the immediate past where he was not waxing poetic about some person or another. His sister called him a “disaster bi” and like, yeah, he could agree with that. But something about Dex was different.

His dreams were filled with fiery red hair and pale, freckled skin. More often than not, he found himself writing poetry about a muse that hardly even gave him the time of day and when he did, it was to chirp him. 

Maybe he was a glutton for punishment or maybe he was in that purgatory where life is just slightly shitty. Like, yeah, you can be in close proximity with the one you love, but they will never give you an ounce of reciprocation. 

That’s why when he finally came back to work after the counter incident (“Nurse, the counter lifts up for a reason.” “Now that wouldn’t be any fun, would it, Dexy.”) he couldn’t help but take the hug that Dex was offering.

Fuck, he missed him. 

And then Dex had said that he had missed him and-

Fuck, he was fucked.

After the hug, he found himself walking to Bitty’s office in a sort of daze, opening the door to find Bitty chatting away on the phone.

“Oh, I’ve gotta go, sweetpea. Nursey just walked back into the office,” Nursey took a seat in front of Bitty’s desk as he finished up the call. “Yeah, honey, I love you too. Bye.”

“So, how’s Jack?” Nursey asked, with a smirk on his face.

“He’s great. He just finished up teaching a class, so he called me before his office hours began to talk about dinner with his parents tonight.” Bitty said, smiling as he did. 

Seeing Bitty and Jack’s relationship gave Nursey genuine hope for his future love life, as well as a model for how a healthy relationship should look. They had been together for at least three years now and on their way to many more. 

“That’s great, Bitty.” Nursey smiled.

“Well, I know you didn’t come in here to talk about me. How’s your leg?” Bitty asked, standing up to walk around his desk and get a better look.

“Good as new,” Nursey said, bending his knee back and forth as if to prove his point.

“Oh thank goodness! You had me worried there for a second, Derek.” Bitty paused. “So uh, have you seen Dex yet?”

So, here’s the thing about being friends with your boss: they know far more than a boss should at any given time. 

It also doesn’t help that a few work outings ago, when Bitty was watching a drunk Nursey (a job, lovingly titled Nursey duty), he ended spilling his guts to Bitty. It was quite cute, really, aside from the vomit that ended up on his shoes for his troubles. 

“I have. Uh, seen him, that is.” Nursey stopped and looked at Bitty from across the desk. “He gave me a hug. It was… really nice.”

“That’s sweet, Nursey,” Bitty smiled, a small grin tugging at his lips.

Bitty finished giving Nursey the rundown of new recipes and products, but he couldn’t help but think that work at the bakery was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

_X_

Eric Bittle was no stranger to pining. Nor was he a stranger to emotionally constipated boys. He knew how to spot said boys from a mile away and he has made it one of his personal missions to help them as much as he possibly can. 

Bitty’s love life had been rocky to say the least. He moved out of Georgia and straight to Providence, Rhode Island to pursue his baking career. He’s not exactly sure why he chose Providence, but as he stared at a map one day it just seemed… right (that and when he threw a dart at the map, that's where it landed). So there he was, enough cash in his pocket to rent out an old restaurant space and a whole lot of motivation. 

Not a month after he had opened, Bitty had already become a staple business in the community. He had a solid group of regulars and found himself making more than enough to sustain his business and set himself up in a nice apartment. 

He loved his employees, his customers, his job. He really just loved his life. So when all of a sudden Mr. Tall and Handsome walked into the bakery, Bitty knew he was gonna have a problem. He knew as soon as he had seen those bright blue eyes and, oh lord, that <i>butt</i>, that he had to get to know that beautiful man.  

And so it turned out that his name was Jack Zimmermann. He was a history professor at the local university and an avid runner, as Bitty would come to find out. 

He came in almost every morning during his runs and often times after teaching classes to grade papers and answer emails. It was in times like these where Bitty made it his mission to befriend Jack. Before long, he found himself talking with Jack longer and longer and even took it upon himself to make Jack his favorite pie after a particularly hard week at school.

It wasn’t until Dex brought it up that Bitty had even realized what was happening. 

“So, like, are you ever gonna actually ask him on a date?” Dex had asked the day after Bitty had presented Jack with his pie.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean, William.” Bitty said, playing coy. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with Jack, but he wasn’t about to make one of his favorite customers (and people, in general) uncomfortable if everything went south.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Dex said. “He’s smitten with you, I just don’t think he realizes it yet.” 

So one confession and an ice skating date later, they were official. It didn’t feel like some big event though, it just felt like something had clicked into place. Like this was exactly how his life was meant to be. 

And he just wanted Nursey and Dex to feel that too.

_X_

Once Nursey fully returned to work things got back to normal. Or as normal as they could be, he guesses.

He found himself working with Dex more and more often, whether it be opening or closing with him. It’s kind of nice, if he’s being honest. He couldn't remember a time when work was so fun.

Not to mention that he and Dex become a lot closer than before and dare he say it- friends, even. Sometimes after they closed they’d go out for drinks and when they’d open Dex would make Nursey his favorite salted caramel latte before the early birds arrived. They didn’t fight about dumb shit anymore, only the important things, like if pineapple belongs on pizza or not (Derek totally thinks it does). 

While all of this is all well and good, Nursey’s feelings are only growing. He found himself staring at Dex more and more often and can't help but try to make him laugh every chance he gets. 

Dex has a really nice laugh. 

But that's besides the point. They're friends now and Nursey does not want to ruin that. Even if it does mean suffering through work or staying out much later before opening shifts than he should, just so he can spend more time with Dex. He can handle a little self-control. 

Or at least he hopes he can. 

_X_

Jack Zimmermann was a lucky man and he knew it. He had a job that he loved, teaching at a well-established university. He had amazing students who wanted to learn. He had a devastatingly handsome boyfriend (soon to be fiancé, if he plays his cards right) who loved him.

That being said, he knows exactly the kind of person Bitty is. He's got a big heart, sometimes to a fault. He wants to see everyone happy and Jack can’t be mad at that. 

Which is why when Bitty tells him all about the plan he comes up with, he can’t help but go along with it.

He sends out an email to his students to let them know that class on the 13th is cancelled due to an “unforeseen emergency” and heads to the bakery per Bitty’s request.

It’s going to be a long night.

_X_

Unsurprisingly, Valentine’s day was one of the busiest days of the year at the bakery. They always ended up selling out of their chocolate strawberry creme pies and heart-shaped sugar cookies. Nursey and Dex started their shifts at the same time, as had become normal, neither looking forward to the rush that would inevitably come.

Nursey was taking orders and dishing up pastries, while Dex was making the drinks. They made a solid team and time seemed to pass so much faster when they worked together. When Jack came in around seven Dex was shocked to find that he had almost been working a full seven hours already, the hours flying by. He finally stopped to look at Nursey, who looked about as tired as he felt. His heart fluttered at the little smile Nursey gave him, before he turned back to take another customer's order.

“Jack, honey, what are you doing here?” Bitty said, as he came out of the kitchen. He was a mess, covered in flour from head to toe and smelling of chocolate from baking with it all day.

“Bits, I told you that I had made a dinner reservation for us at 8, didn’t I?” Jack said, coming around the corner to press a kiss to Bitty’s forehead.

As he said that Bitty couldn't help the look of shock that crossed his face. 

“Oh sweet pea, I can't believe I forgot! I'm supposed to close tonight.” 

Nursey and Dex exchanged a look between the two of them, before Dex made a resigned sigh and mumbled, “We can close if you need us to Bitty.”

With that, Bitty turned to the both of them with a smile wider than they had ever seen. 

“Y'all would really do that for me?” Bitty was still looking at them with shining eyes. 

“Of course, brah. It's chill.” Nursey spoke up, after a moment. “We want you to have your romantic date night so that we can live vicariously through you.”

“The night is still young,” Bitty sang as he brushed past the both of them, “I'll go grab my stuff from my office and then we can leave, honey.” 

“So, euh, thanks for doing this you guys,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck as he did so. 

“No problem, Jack,” Nursey said, “Bitty deserves a break anyways. He said he stayed late last night working on something.”

“Uhm, yeah, about that-” Jack started.

“Alright, sugar, let’s go,” Bitty said, as he came back from the office. He laid a hand on Jack’s arm and looked right at Nursey. “Close the doors right at nine and make sure to take the money back into my office. Don’t bother counting it tonight, I’ll do it in the morning.”

“Ready, Bits?” Jack asked, smirking and cocking an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

“As I’ll ever be, Mr. Zimmermann,” Bitty said, turning back to Nursey and Dex. “Thank you boys, have fun!”

“Yeah, we’ll try,” Dex mumbled, bumping into Nursey’s shoulder as he turned back to the espresso machine to make a drink.

_X_

Luckily, the rest of their shift went by pretty quickly. All of the customers had cleared out around 8:45, presumably to spend the night with their significant others. They had cleaned the cafe area and were finishing up the kitchen, when Nursey went to the front to begin collecting the money and closing out the register.

“Lame Valentine’s day, right?” Dex said, walking up behind Nursey as he was putting the cash in the bank bag.

“Eh, it wasn’t too bad,” Nursey said softly, as he glanced back quickly to look at Dex. “There isn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.” He whispered, turning around fully to face Dex. 

“Derek…” Their eyes met and they stayed that way for a few moments, before Nursey broke the trance.

“C’mon, let’s take the money to the back so we can get out of here,” Nursey mumbled, brushing past Dex. He’s not sure if he’s getting warm because he’s embarrassed or nervous. It had sounded as though Dex was going to respond to his advance, but instead he just… hadn’t. 

Nursey had been thinking so deeply about the encounter they had just had that he hadn’t noticed the giant red heart on the outside of Bitty’s office door. He did, however, notice that the normally plain office now looked as though Cupid himself had thrown up all over it.

There was a round table in the middle of the room, where Bitty’s desk usually sat, covered in a rich red table cloth, roses, champagne, and of course a strawberry chocolate cream pie. Next the the pie sat a note that read:

Dear Nursey and Dex, 

It was clear to me that neither of you were going to make the first move, so let this be it. The way you look at each other reminds me of the way that Jack and I used to look at each other. How we still look at each other. Y’all have something so special and I just want you both to be happy. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love,

Bitty

“Hey, what’s- oh holy shit.” Nursey turned to find Dex staring at the office with wide eyes. He looked like a wild animal trying to decide whether he should run away or not. “What the fuck is all this?”

“Well,” Nursey started, “It’s Bitty’s Valentine’s Day present to us.” He finished, chancing a glance at the other boy as he moved to take the note from Nursey’s hand to read it. Dex read the note, before taking a seat at one of the chairs seated at the table. 

“Am I that fucking obvious?” Dex asked, running his hands through his hair. 

Which is… Not exactly what Nursey was expecting to hear.

“What are you talking about?” Nursey could feel his forehead scrunching as he asked the question. He was really fucking lost.

“Oh c’mon Nurse, there’s a reason that Bitty did this. Apparently I’m shit at hiding my feelings and he wanted to pity me by giving me a little hope today.” Dex sighed, “You don’t have to go along with this Derek, I understand it makes you uncomfortable.”

Nursey just sat there dumbfounded, because- what?

“Dex, are you fucking kidding me?” Dex’s head shot up at that. “Did you even read the note?”

Nursey couldn’t help but to laugh. How is this his life? He crossed the room to stand in front of Dex, whose expression was still blank.

“He did this for the both of us, you idiot,” Nursey couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face. “Apparently neither of us have been very good at hiding our feelings. Although in my defense, I was drunk when I confessed to Bitty. You’re just always in awe of my beauty, apparently.” That final jab was the one to snap Dex back to reality.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much Nurse,” Dex mumbled, crossing his arms and refusing to meet Nursey’s gaze.

“It’s okay Dex. I’m always in awe of you too.” At this, Dex finally looked up at Nursey, who was slowly uncrossing Dex’s arms. “Kinda hard not to be.” He whispered, taking Dex’s hands into his. They stared at each other for a few moments, both men afraid to look away.

“Did our boss just fucking matchmake us?” Dex whispered, rubbing his thumbs back and forth on Nursey’s knuckles. Nursey couldn’t help but laugh.

“I guess he did,” Nursey said, flicking his eyes down to Dex’s mouth. “So like, I know we both just became aware of this whole thing, but can I kiss you? I’ve waited so fucking long.”

Dex’s eyes widened and he began shaking his head. 

“Fuck yes,” Dex said, stretching up to meet Derek’s mouth and covering it with his own. By the time they finished kissing they were both breathless.

“Okay, so,” Dex started, “I know that Bitty planned this whole thing for us, but-”

“You wanna take this elsewhere?” Derek finished.

“Only if you want to,” Dex said, looking happier than Derek had seen him all night.

“That’s alI want,” Nursey whispered.

With that, Derek couldn’t help but think that work at the bakery was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

[slvtbible]

I should’ve walked away | pt. 2

[In which he says everything he needs to say]

Warnings: mentions of terminal illness, tears, curse words

[If this sucks i’m sorry:/ i have never been good with part twos unlike some other talented writers out there, who are killing it lol]

[But anyways, i hope you guys like this. Sorry for taking this so long!]

**

You thought that heartbreak will only last for a couple weeks. But you were wrong about that.

The night after you left the party was also the night you went back home to your small apartment. You blocked his number right after you reached your home, have no absolutely intention on rekindling the relationship,

You called your mother and told her about everything whilst your cried. She tried to calm you down but it didn’t work. You weren’t crying over the fact that your relationship with Harry had ended, but you were crying over how completely different Harry was that night. And how his friends were no better than him. That broke your heart to pieces, because you had been together for three years and expected that Harry was the guy that everyone talked about on the media. Yet, they proved you wrong.

Sobs were uncontrolled as you cried to your mom, cursing him over and over but surprisingly, although you told your mom how disrespectful Harry and his friends had been to both of you, she only sighed to herself and smiled softly. Knowing that this would happen either way, because your family were never been blessed with good wealth and people will always look down on you no matter what. She knew that already so she wasn’t disappointed nor hurt.

But she also knew Harry is a good person. Though only had a chance of meeting him once, he was the most polite and kindest man you have ever dated. She told you herself and she remembered how pink your cheeks were when you blushed, it was truly the most heartwarming and cutest thing your mother ever had to witness.

Now, those days were over. To you. You swore to yourself to never ever fall back to the arms of a man who is disrespectful towards your mother.

It is four months later after your break up with Harry and you’d be lying if you say you didn’t miss him. During work or during your sleepless nights, he would always manage to find his way to sneak in to your mind and it’s hard for you to get rid of those thoughts.

Harry is suffering just the same as you. Perhaps even worse.

He is not himself anymore. After he spat those terrible things towards the only woman he’s ever loved and he’s ever going to marry, he could never forgive himself. He blames himself for your departure, he curses himself for using your insecurities against you and that was not fair.

He’s very much aware of how privileged he is and so are the people around him, yet he decided to go and rub it on your face. Even made fun of your mother’s income. His mother would be livid if she finds out how terrible he treated you. Anne favours you very much, she always have.

**

This year, turns out to be a not pretty good year for you. Your mother had informed you four months ago that your sister, have been adapted with cancer. Both treatments and surgery costs $30,000 combined and you have no idea how to earn that much money in less than three months to pay for them all. Especially when you only have one job while you have classes to attend to. 

But you made up your mind. You decided to drop out of college and started to take three jobs—which are not really helping at all, the money aren’t enough just yet— to pay for the surgery. The university offers you to pay for all of your tuition including the living costs, in order for you to stay because you’re one of the best students and they don’t want to let you go.

However, you declined. It’s not fair and you have always been taught by your parents to work hard on your own. Earn your money and one day all of your blood, sweat and tears will pay off. Someday.

“Want me to close this one up, darling?”

Your lovely co-worker, Maria asks. She’s a couple years older than your mom and have been nothing but nice to you ever since you applied for this job. She knows all about your problem as well. Harry, his friends, the money, everything and she doesn’t judge you. You’re grateful for that,

With a smile, you nod your head softly at her as your eyes starting to get heavier. “Are you fine with that? Don’t wanna be a bother”

Maria scoffs, waving you off as she locks the cabinet. “You were never a bother, Y/N. Go get some rest, you do have another job to work at tomorrow don’t you?”

Again, you nod. Untying your white apron and fold it neatly, putting it inside your tote bag. You hug Maria as you thank her and kisses her cheek before walking out of the shop to walk home,

You see, for the past four months you work as a bartender on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, from 11 am - 3 am. A waitress at a diner on Wednesday and Friday, from 6.30 am - 12 pm and babysitting on Saturday. So the only day you don’t have work is Sunday, where you spend it almost everyday just sleeping. Wether in your bed or the couch.

Tired is the perfect description about your daily life. Though your friends are all dying to meet up with you, you know you can’t. You have absolutely no social life and you’re just waiting for all of this to end. But you’re not sure when.

As soon as you step inside your small apartment, you lock the door and throw your keys on the counter before walking upstairs and run yourself a bath. You decide to spoil yourself for a few moments then go to bed,

**

Harry is suffering.

His days are supposed to be the days where he should write new songs for his next album. But the papers are only filled with dozens of messages he wanted to say to you. Crumpled and ruined. In which he have no slight intention on throwing them away because the paper is the only source he gets to say what he wants to say. And he can’t no longer say them to you,

He knows you’ve blocked his number, he’s hurt to say at least. Numerous voicemails and messages he sent were left unopened. The thing that drives him even crazier is that he doesn’t even know where you live! He needs to know wether you’re okay or not, are you eating well enough, drink enough water or not. Or have you found someone else that can love and care for you the way he does?

The thought of you finding someone else hurt his heart but he understands why. He has to. You’ve put up with his shit—his friends included— longer than anyone else does. That’s why he loves you.

His tears hasn’t stopped either. Everyday he wakes up, and finds himself crying over you, wanting you back in his arms. Every night he falls asleep with the thought of you on his mind makes him cry while he hugs your perfume scented pillow tightly against his chest. If he can’t hold you close to his heart then maybe your pillow will do.

“You want anything, mate?” Jeff swings the door open, voice fills with concern and fear. Ever since that night happened, Harry has done nothing but cold to his friends. Except for his band.

He shakes his head, rubbing his slightly red nose with his eyes glued on the journal. “No.”

With his one simple worded answer only leaves Jeff to nod his head, grabbing his black coat from the sofa and walk out of the studio.

Mitch looks over at Sarah for a split second before settling his eyes back on the piece of white paper,

“Have you... tried to talk to her? Perhaps, reach out to her again.” Mitch asks, carefully looking up.

Mitch learns that whenever he or anyone for that matter mentions your name, he gets aggressive then cries. So he reminds himself everyday and to everyone to be careful everytime they want to speak with Harry. He’s a fragile human being right now,

Harry lets out a small sarcastic laugh, closing his journal and lean his back against the couch. “Of course i did. Many times. But she never even answered my call or text. Her friend Jenna left me on read when i asked her to tell me about how Y/N is doing. It’s hopeless, besides it’s months ago. I bet Y/N has already forgotten about me.”

His voice cracks as the last sentence comes falls from his lips. Grabbing a water bottle from the table, he takes a slow sip as his eyes begins to water and he has to inhale deeply to keep them from falling,

Sarah looks down, sighing to herself. “You’re saying that as if it’s her fault for forgetting about you that fast.”

“I wasn’t-“

“Need i to remind you that you were the one who compared her to Kendall. From her appearance to her income. Her job wasn’t fancy or popular, yeah i get that but she was struggling, Harry. Did you ever learn that your girlfriend was an immigrant when she came here? Finding a job with such a reputation was hard for people like her! They don’t immediately give you the chance to work as models, fashion stylists or musical producers like us! Think about that Harry. Or were you too wrapped up around Kendall’s or any Victoria’s Secret models fingers that you had the audacity to bring your ex girlfriend down like that!”

“Sarah” Mitch tries, trying to keep her calm,

But she isn’t having any of it. “No, Mitch he needs to hear this!” She protests as she looks over at Mitch then back again at Harry. “You out of all people should know that! You were her boyfriend for fuck sake! And she didn’t need any of you snobby asses to remind her where her insecurities lay! She already knows she don’t fit in! She knows her place Harry, and she knows she’s not as pretty as Kendall Jenner, Camille, or Georgia or Nadine. Stop moping around and hope that people will have sympathy for you because you don’t deserve mine!” She snaps, breathing in heavily and stands up to walk away, trying to calm her down,

Harry is struck. Sarah is known to be one of those people who rarely gets angry because she seems to be walking in a ray of sunshine everyday, a sweet smile never leaves her face. As if there’s nothing can bring her down.

But today is completely different, Harry watched Sarah as she outed everything she had deep down in her heart. You and Sarah have always been so close, you two are like one of those two best friends in high school. The Betty to her Veronica. And to see Harry broke your heart, played a insecurity against you made her cry too. She was disappointed in Harry.

Still, Harry can’t accept the fact that Sarah put all the blame on him when you were the one who chose to walk away.

“I love her, Sarah. What makes you think that i would intentionally hurt her like that? That night, she was the one who walked out on me. I told her that i would help her, support her, financially and emotionally. She was my girlfriend but she left!” He bursts, looking up at his bandmate with his nose flaring in anger,

Sarah looks at him in disbelief and lets out a sarcastic laugh. “And have you, really?” She questions, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know, she thought about leaving you for a long time Harry. Way before we celebrated your victory win at that club. But she stayed. Did you know? She fucking stayed. Because to her it didn’t matter if the world was against her, if the fans hated the two of you together, or even if your exes stared her down like she was a peasant. All she ever needed was you. You and Y/N against the fucking world.”

Sarah leaves it at that, before walking away from the two of them. She needs to cool down before she completely loses it,

Harry looks down on his lap, taking each and every word of hers and input them in his brain. He bites down his lip trying to contain the tears that are threatening to spill from his eyes. He presses the home button of his phone and see a picture of you laying on the bed, wearing nothing but a white duvet to cover your naked body. A toothy grin stretches over your pretty face with your eyes closes a bit,

He smiles sadly at the memory. He remembers taking the picture on the next morning after making love to you all night. It was the best night of his life, he got to hold the woman of his dreams and the dimpled smile never leave his face. He wishes he never let you walk away. He should’ve beg you to stay that night. He swears that the day after he met you, he would leave his career and dreams behind if it means being with you forever. Yes. He thought of forever and it doesn’t scared him. But it’s all too late is it?

“I miss you” he whispers, tracing a finger over your picture on his wallpaper. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m really sorry.” He gives a small peck on his phone where your lips are, imagining that you were also there with him.

It doesn’t matter if it hurts him. Because nothing compares to what he has done to you few months ago

**

“Here are your hot cakes and coffee?” You smile sweetly at the customer, placing her orders on the table,

“Thank you, can i have a napkin please?” The customer smiles back, reaching over for the coffee and take a sip,

You nod your head, telling her that you’ll be right back before going over behind the counter and grabs a pink napkin, handing it to her.

“Is lover boy coming today?” Maria asks, as she places the order on the tray and giving it to you,

Rolling your eyes, you tell her to knock it off. Earning a loud giggle falls from her lips,

“What? That man has done nothing but come here to see you. And he only comes to your shifts! Don’t tell me that he’s not in love with you”

“Maria, no!” You laugh, picking up the tray full of food and handing it to the other waitress, “he’s just been so... supportive of me. I mean-he’s been helping me taking care of my mom and sister. Did you know that he offers to pay Beatrice’s surgery?”

Maria gapes, halting her moves as she stares at you. “That’s amazing!”

However you give her a look and a slight chuckle. “Don’t get too excited, i turned that offer down.”

The answer you give, wipes the bright smile off Maria’s face. “What? Why? Y/N! A kind and handsome man who’s been there for you through these past difficult months offers you to pay your sister’s surgery and you said no? Are you kidding me, honey?”

Nope. You aren’t. Sure it sounds good to have someone pay for something so important and urgent but you can’t let him do it. Not when this man is associated with your one and only former boyfriend who has the same circle of friends that will tear you apart all over again. You can’t go through the same thing twice.

Yes. Former boyfriend as in Harry Edward Styles. Dean is his right hand when it comes to writing the lyrics. He participates 80% on his first solo album, meaning that he plays a big role on his music and that’s very important to him. Dean is one of Harry’s good friends as well, though you had never seen them hang out that much.

The two of you have become close after your messy break up with Harry. Dean reached out to you and sent his love, and truly you didn’t expect that. You’ve never interacted with Dean before then to found out that he called you by his number, left you surprised. In a good way.

Ever since, Dean has been very kind and supportive towards you. He takes you home sometimes, whenever he gets the chance. He brings you food at late night though you tell him numerous times that you weren’t hungry, he knows you’re lying so he did it anyway. He knows that you don’t have the best place to lay your head since months ago. The small and crappy apartment that you only managed to afford for now, isn’t exactly the best one yet. People are selling weed and hardcore drugs in the building, you’ve gotten sick of it but you have to hold on.

And again, he offered you to stay at his place because he can’t stand to see you at that state. But you were so head strong that it makes him upset and admired you than he ever did before, you truly are a gift.

You’ve come into a conclusion where Harry prefers to keep his toxic friends closer to him than the ones who actually brings positivity. Dean is obviously the most positive out of them all, well apart from Sarah, Mitch, Adam and you haven’t seen Clare that much.

Dean decides to keep this friendship of yours a secret between the two of you. He can’t risk of getting caught by Harry and neither can you, Harry will tear him to limbs if he finds out that his best friend is talking with his ex who he still loves dearly.

Harry does talk about you to him all the time. How he cries at night for hours and how stupid he was to let go the only good thing in his life. Sure, Dean feels guilty about it but Harry should’ve known better than playing the victim in front of him. You were the one who got walked over by Harry and his friends, the one who puts up with his shit despite the hate and the judgemental looks, you’re working your ass off to earn money though it’s not one of those jobs that you can be proudly show them off.

Dean maybe his best friend but he disagrees with everything that Harry had done. And he just felt so bad that he wasn’t there that night to stopped them.

Rolling your eyes again, you give her a lopsided smile. “I’m not kidding, Maria. I’m gonna work to get that money, by myself. I admit, i would be glad to take the money from Dean but it’s not fair. So I won’t do that.”

Maria sighs, but a smile is playing on her lips. She completely adores you, the hard work you have given throughout these past few months she has seen you, never fails to make her heart melts. The love you have for your family is completely indescribable. And she prays that you’ll hold on to that,

“Okay, then suit yourself. Now, go ahead and brings this order to the coupl right over there.” Maria points with her thumb, sliding the tray to you. “I think there’s someone outside would love to meet you”,

In confusion, you turn your head around and spot a familiar young man with brown hair smiling softly at you. He gives you a gentle wave as soon as you turn around, mirroring his smile.

You hold your finger up, telling him to wait for a minute before taking the tray off the counter and place it on the couple’s table next to the window. Maria glances at you and gives a playful smile which you silently tell her to knock it off,

Dean is leaning against his car with hands in his pockets when you walk out, smiling over at you before regaining his posture to stand straight. A shy smile casts over your lips when the two of you greet with a friendly hug,

“Hey. What are you doing here?” You ask soon as the both of you pull away from each other’s embrace. “My shift is almost over.”

He nods, shrugging. “I know, that’s why i’m here.”

You stare at him with a sketchy look on his face, baby blue eyes staring at your brown ones and you can’t read what is going on his mind. “Okay...? what is it?”

“Was just thinking that maybe... you can swing by at the studio today.”

After he mentions the word studio, your face fall. Does he really thinks by bringing you over to the studio where your ex-boyfriend works at is a really good idea? You are not ready to face him nor will you ever be.

You let out a small laugh, “you’re crazy Dean. The answer is no. I don’t want to see Harry”

The way his name rolls out of your tongue feel so strange, considering you haven’t spoken his name for months. And honestly, that name used to give you goosebumps and the cause of your blushing cheeks. But now it doesn’t anymore.

“You don’t have to interact with him! Just stay with me. Besides, it’s not like you will be all alone. Sarah is there, Adam and Mitch are too.”

“They’re Harry’s friends” you state with an obvious tone,

“at the moment, not really. They’re giving him cold looks lately. Won’t speak to him unless for rehearsals and songs writing. Apart from Jeff, Lucy, Don, Annie, Jordan, Kel-”

“Why am i not surprised? Those people are the ones who trash talked about me. Wether it’s in front of Harry or not, and he had no interest on defending me whatsoever.” You cut him off before he can finish, breathing in deep as you recall the last moments you had together with him. “i just-- don’t want to get hurt anymore Dean. And they are not even his friends! They’re using him. They use his name to get into clubs, restaurants, after parties, you name it. As much as he had hurt me, i don’t want him to get hurt. He’s sensitive, you know that.”

Dean only nods, he knows that his friends are nothing but utter scums. He has been observing them for months and he cannot believe that Harry is gullible enough to think that they actually cared for him. They don’t and they never did. It was always him or Mitch who looks out for their green eyed friend, but he shoves him off and tells him to mind his own business. So he left it at that.

Then to see how frustrated you are at this time, he can feel a tug at his heart. You have condoned so many things lately, seeing you’re drowning yourself in bills, taxes, jobs, sweats, tears, makes him want to take your pain away but he doesn’t even know how. 

Harry has hurt you deeply, yet he can’t understand why you still care about him. 

“You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.” he says after five minutes of silence. “If i had an ex who treated me like dirt, i wouldn’t want to see her ever again. Probably would run for my life if we were in a room together.”

You let out a small laugh, it’s not really funny but you think that he’s doing that to only lighten up the mood. You gotta give him credit for that.

“I’m sorry Dean, maybe next time yeah?”

**

Harry is now sitting on his car, parked in front of your mother’s house as he thinks about what to say as soon as he walks towards the small house.

He tries so hard to get rid of the redness that is clearly visible on his green irises, but it’s no use. The tears are still falling from his eyes, no matter how many time he tries to get rid of the thoughts when he had hurt you. Seeing you cry was the most heartbreaking sight he could have ever seen, and to know that he was the cause of your tears few months ago he could never ever forgive himself.

Before stepping out of his Range Rover, he takes a deep breath and looks over at the mirror to make himself look presentable. He doesn’t want to look gross or disgusting when meeting your mom. And he definitely doesn’t want her to think that he’s looking like this because of you, he doesn’t want to play the victim. He’s the one in the wrong,

Harry takes long steps towards the house, his body is clad with sapphire blue sweater and a beanie thrown over his head, so that the fans won’t notice that Harry Styles is around.

He doesn’t want to be that guy at the moment. He wants to be just Harry this time. The Harry that is about to ask your mother’s forgiveness in less than few minutes.

His heart beats louder as soon as he hears your mother calls after he knocks on the door. Leg is bouncing rapidly as he waits.

“Just a second!” She calls out, shuffling inside

He can hear her steps getting closer and he feels his palms are sweating. Bottom lip is taken between his teeth, waiting for her to open up the door.

The door swings open suddenly, and your mother’s exhausted face comes into view. Messy dark brown hair is pulled into a bandana, he can tell that she’s about to leave judging from her choice of clothing.

As soon as she looks up, her eyes are widen and her body freezes as she stands in the doorway. Taking in Harry’s appearance, glancing him up and down before letting out a shaky breath.

“Harry... what are you doing here, my love?”

His heart wrenches. After all this time. The talks, the looks, the whispers that had been thrown at both you and her, she still calls him an endearing nickname and nothing breaks him even more than that. He doesn’t deserve that, at all and he should be ashamed of himself

With a soft smile, he nods at her. Pulling his beanie off slowly. “Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N. Can i come in?”

Your mother is struggling what to say, and wether it’s a good idea for her to invite him in. But she knows that what happened in the past, stays in the past and she can never hold a grudge against him. 

Harry is a good man, is what she always says to you. Despite everything, she knows damn well that he is not a bad guy. And she believes that he has a good intention on coming here, she can’t reject that.

She softly nods, a smile pulling into her lips as she opens the door wider to let him in. “Of course, make yourself comfortable.”

He thanks her before stepping inside carefully, his eyes are observing the small place she called home. To say that he’s hurt is an understatement, he pays attention to every small details in the house and noticing that they aren’t in a very good condition. The ceiling has a hole on it and there’s a leak in it too, a big pink bucket sitting on the corner to capture the drops.

The kitchen is a mess. Vegetables are sprawl all over the counter, cups are messily falling over the place as well. He sees there’s a few papers laying on the coffee table, and his heart almost drops when it says ‘Eviction Letter’. There are five of them, and he doesn’t know where your mother will go from there.

He wishes he could help you and your family, but he knows that you won’t approve of him doing so. This hurts his heart more than it should be, he imagined it if it was his mom in this state. He knows damn sure that he will fills her bills with his money,

Your mother motions him to the small dining table, gesturing him to take a seat. “Here you go, mijo. Sit down” She smiles as she takes a seat as well. “Sorry if it’s a mess. Have no time to clean it today.”

Harry waves his hand off, telling her it’s completely fine before taking a seat beside her. Setting down his beanie, he clears his throat before opening his mouth to say something. But nothing comes out.

“What is it Harry? Are you okay, my dear?”

He flinches when her knuckle makes a contact with his cheek, seemingly concerned as she stares at the bags under his eyes and puffy nose which she can only assume that he had been crying for days.

Now, she knows why he’s here,

Looking up to meet your mother’s eyes, he takes a deep breath in as he reminiscing the words in his brain before pulling himself together to speak to her. He doesn’t understand how you mother treats him like her own child this moment, yet he let his friends talked shit about her and you. The love of his life.

“I’m sorry” he croaks out, sniffling as he feels his nose starting to get runny. “i shouldn’t have done it. I love your daughter more than anything in the world and i’m sorry for treating her like shit while we were together. I couldn’t find a reason on why i said all the things to her because i wasn’t thinking. Then i let my friends talked bad about you and that was completely unacceptable.”

Your mother closes her eyes for a while, sighing as she nods. She listens to every word he says to her. Her hand coming down to rub his arm slowly as he cries, fresh tears are running down his soft stubbled cheeks and he cannot stop them. No matter how many times he tries to wipe them off,

“She’s an amazing woman. And you are too, Mrs. Y/L/N. I’m sorry for being such a coward. I’m sorry for not defending you and Y/N. I’m sorry that i had the nerves to let my friends got away with the words they had thrown about you. Words cannot express how sorry i am because my mother would be livid if i treated the both of you this way.” He chuckles sadly, remembering the times where Anne would just love to give him lectures and scolds about how to treat a woman right,

‘You’re a handsome boy. Don’t go around breaking girls’s hearts, yeah? Because that will break mine too.’

“But, i hope you can forgive me Mrs. Y/L/N. I know i have no rights to say it but i hope you can.” He whispers the last sentence and lean his back against the chair, fiddling with his thumbs with his eyes looking down on his lap,

It takes a while for your mother to process all of this, and it’s not easy. She appreciates every word he had just said and she knows that Harry meant every word of it. She believes him. He’s a very good and well-mannered young man and sometimes she feels sorry of how his friends treat him like he doesn’t matter, how they can just use him for their own pleasure then discard him like a piece of garbage.

She can’t lie to him if you don’t love him anymore. You still do, but you just don’t want to admit it. Every day your heart breaks a little when the thought of not having him by your side anymore.

“I believe you, Harry. I do.” She speak with a soft smile. He looks up to her with eyes brimming red, face looking skeptical because he can’t believe the words just comes out of your mother’s mouth. “And... Y/N, she still loves you too.”

For the first time in months, his lips pulls into a genuine smile as he no longer bother to cry again. He sits up straight, leaning forward to place his arms on the table. “She does, huh?”

Your mother gives him a wide smile as she nods. “She’s just a little stubborn to admit that. You know how Y/N is, right?”

Harry lets out a small laugh, nodding his head eagerly as he remembers how hard-headed you were while the two of you were together,

“Classic Y/N” He shakes his head, suddenly missing you more than ever. “Are you going out, Mrs. Y/L/N?” He asks, changing the subject,

Your mother checks her watch and curses before standing. “I am, thanks for reminding me Harry. I appreciate you coming in here, Harry thank you.”

He hugs your mother and kisses her cheeks before pulling away from the embrace. “Where are you going? I can drop you off.” He offers, grabbing the keys from the table,

Your mother is quick to shake her head, grabbing her brown coat from the rack as she slips in on her body. “No need my love, i’ll walk.”

And in that time, she also panics. Panic because she can’t just say that she’s going to the hospital to see your sister. He’ll freak out and ended up insisting to drive her there,

“Nonsense, I’ll take you it’s fine. Just tell me where to go.”

She learns that Harry is stubborn as well. He looks at her pleadingly, and she thinks that it doesn’t matter how many times she’ll turn him down because it won’t work. He just keeps on asking and asking until she says yes. 

“To the hospital, my love.” She whispers, opening the door so the two of them can walk out,

But before Harry can take a step, the colour drains from his face and his rosy lips tremble soon as the word hospital fall from your mother’s lips. Thoughts are running on his mind as he thinks the worst possible reason on why your mother is going to the hospital with a sad look on her face.

Is your mother okay? Are you hurt? Were you in an accident or sick? Why didn’t you just tell him? Why did your mother invited him in when she was going to the hospital?

Smiling sadly, she extends her hand for him to take.

“I’ll explain in car, okay?”

**

“Maria! Can i take a rain check?” You call her out from the kitchen, busy dropping the dirty plates on the sink as you hurriedly pull the strings of your apron,

Maria barges in minutes later, her nose puffing as heavy breathe emerges from her mouth. She grabs her small towel and wipe the sweat that is forming on the crease of her forehead and down to her neck,

“Why? What happened?” She asks, eyes looking at you concerned with her hands settle on her hips. “Was it the landlord again? What was he saying?”

You shake your head, pulling your hair into a messy bun fast before checking your phone again to see if there is anymore messages from your mom,

“No. My mom told me to come to the hospital quickly. I don’t know why but it could have something to do with Beatrice. I have to get there quick.” You stumble with your words, thoughts are running through your head as you panic. Small tears starting to prickle from your brown eyes, you have no idea what to do if your mother is about to hit you with bad news. You can’t cope with that,

Maria rushes over to you and places her palms on your cheeks, trying to get you to look at her as she sees how much of a mess you are right now. “hey, hey. Stop it. Don’t over think something, Y/N. Everything is going to be okay, alright? Don’t stress this much. Your sister is fine, your mom is fine. She’s probably asking you to come over because Beatrice asked her to. You haven’t seen her in a while, right?”

You sigh, nodding your head slowly as she wipes off your tears. “yeah. Been so occupied with work i never got to see her in a month, i’m such a terrible sister.”

“You are everything but terrible! I have never seen a woman worked so hard in her life to help her family. I have never seen a woman sacrificed her school just so she can work to pay her family’s bills and sister’s surgery. I have never seen a woman so independent that she does not need a man to take care of her because she knows, she can handle herself well!” Maria snaps, eyebrows furrowing as her eyes stare at yours.

“Now, you’re going to take back everything you just said to me and get your ass to the hospital, sweetheart. Your family needs you more than this diner does. i’ll cover for you, don’t worry” She says, kicking her chin up to get you moving so you don’t have to take long.

She grabs your purse and jacket, shoving them to your hands then scrambles around the kitchen to find your house keys because she knows how clumsy you are with them. Good thing you don’t have a car, or else you would lose both of them.

“Here. Don’t rush okay? Take your time and let me know.” She softly says, kissing your forehead,

The love you have for her is indescribable. You look up to her after your dear mother, you rarely gets to see her these past few months and the only person that has the personality and mind as close as hers is Maria. 

With a nod, you hug her tight closely to your body. “Thank you so much Maria. I’ll pay you back, i promise.”

Maria rolls her eyes playfully and shushes you, “aish! No need to dear. Go on now. Don’t forget to text me!” She reminds you again, pointing her red manicured nail finger at you,

Without doing anything else, you swiftly turn around and head towards the exit to haul a cab. You usually prefer to take the bus than a cab or uber, but the station is 20 minutes away from the diner you work at and you have no time to reach there. 

Your mother has been blowing up your phone with dozens of texts, adding exclamation marks at the end of every sentences and nothing worries you more than that. Well not really. You’re scared that something already happened with Beatrice and then it would already be way too late to save her. Maybe that’s why your mom is sending you texts every minute...

To be honest, you have no idea why out of positive things that you can think of, the horrible thoughts manage to make their way to your brain and causes you much of a distress and nerves. You can’t contain them.

You’re pulling and tugging the strings of your jacket then switches to play with the hem of your diner uniform because of how nervous you get. Haven’t even realised that you’re biting down your soft lip too hard until your tongue manage to swipe your lower lip and taste a familiar metallic liquid, making you stop.

The driver parks the vehicle in front of the hospital lobby, and you’re way too deep in your thoughts that you really have no idea, you have arrived at the building. Pulling out a ten dollar cash, you shove the crumpled money towards the driver before stepping out of the car and rushes over to the receptionist and asks where your sister’s room is. 

And for Heaven’s sake! Can they go any slower?

“Room 187. Just straight towards the hall and the room is on your left” The middles age woman gives you a tight smile before resuming to type obnoxiously on her keyboard,

Muttering out a faint ‘thanks’, you fasten your pace quickly towards her room as you feel your heart beats louder and a small sweat forming on your neck as well on your forehead. You pray to God that nothing will happen to your sister.

She’s just a baby,

You waste no time to swing the door open when you spot the room already and soon your mother figure and your paled sister comes in view, they shifts their eyes to you and breathes out a sigh of relief. Your mother smiles at you and gives you a hug, letting it lingers for a while before pulling away.

“Thank God, you’re here.” She sighs, looking at you in the eyes. “What took you so long?”

Pulling your jacket off, not once your eyes leaves your mother’s neither on your sister’s. “What happened? Is she okay?”

Beatrice looks over at you and smile weakly before coughing furiously, lifting her arms slowly at you. “Y/N” She croaks, holding another cough in her throat. “I’m so glad you’re here”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you smile back, taking slow steps closer to the bed and gently wrap your arms around your baby sister’s fragile body. Sobs breaks out of you when you pull away from the embrace, but your hands still tightly wrap around hers, not wanting to let go.

“I’m sorry for not being around much. How are you feeling?” You softly ask her, moving your arm a little to not nudge her injected dorsal palm. 

She nods, eyes turning into slit and you can only assume that she’s pretty much exhausted. Perhaps from waiting for you and the dozens of medications they keep giving her. “I’m okay. Was just... waiting for you.”

You reply with a smile, gazing at her with much love and admirable in your eyes. The moment soon cuts off when your mother brings up a topic that had your eyes nearly pops out of their sockets.

“Pay her surgery? What? Who” You demand an answer from your mother, though you can see how she struggles not to say any word. But it’s too late to back out, your mother chooses to say it. “Tell me, who mama. Was it--was it, Dean?”

She’s quick to shake her head, moving her seat closer to sit by the bed so she can talk better with you. You watch as few strands of her dark brown hair falls to cover her eyes, causing her to push the hair back behind her ear.

“No, chica. it’s not... him. It was someone else” She speaks, hands intertwining as her voice gets lower, as if she’s afraid that you will break into a rage once you finds out who it is.

Feeling frustrated and annoyed, you give her a cold laugh. Eyes moving back and forth to look at her then back to your sister, who’s breathing is heavy and slow. You wish you can take the pain away from her.

“Are you just going to keep me waiting or what?” You ask with a rough tone in your voice. You don’t want to be mad or pissed, but you have sworn to yourself and to your family that you will pay your sister’s surgery with your own money. it’s a risk but she finds it better than to have herself rely on someone else’s cash.

The silence is driving you crazy. Because you try to get her to say what she wanted to say yet she can’t seem to find the courage in her to say it. Your mother looks down on her lap, debating on wether she should say it but mostly, she’s mentally beating herself up for speaking out too fast.

“It’s Harry.” You mother says at least, eyes looking up as she waits for you to burst out any second.

Then your face paled, brows furrowing as you retreat your hands from your sister’s causing her to whimper at the sudden contact. You cannot believe your ears! Is your mother insane or hallucinating?

“Harry? What the hell are you on about, Mom! This is not funny.” You snap, eyes burning in anger as you think to yourself how stupid and inconsiderate her mother is that she can pull out a joke at the time like this. “Come off with it, mama! Don’t fuck around!”

Suddenly your mother’s fear and concern turns into an anger soon as she hears you spoke the word. She sits up straight and lean forward. “Listen here Y/N. You will not talk to your mother with that kind of tone and words. You’re still my daughter and i’m still your mother. Respect me as your own or so help me God, i will kick you out of our lives!”

She finishes with a heavy breathing, glancing at Beatrice for a moment as she pleads to her to not start any fight. Your mother feels guilty afterwards, she shouldn’t have done it at the hospital. That’s just going to hurt your sister alot more.

You take a deep breath, nodding at your mother but still you’re upset and confuse of how your mother could bring up Harry this moment. You want to know why.

“I’m sorry. But please, explain to me what’s going on. What are you talking about? He didn’t even know you exist mom!” you jokingly add the last one but still manage to keep your tone firm. “Just tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.”

“He came to my house earlier. We... talked about something. Then he offered to drive me here and i told him why i had to go to the hospital. He broke down as soon as i told him what happened to Beatrice, my love. He cried... extremely hard and asked me how i was going to pay for all of this.” She explains, voice gentle as she traces her thumb over Sofia’s palm. “I told him that you’re paying. And that you had to quit school just so you can have three jobs to pay her surgery. He didn’t like the sound of that, chica. He knows how much you love your studies, so he can’t bare it. He wanted to pay for it all.”

“He’s a good man, Y/N. Please, you need to give him a chance.” Beatrice pleads, voice breaking as she speaks but you ignore her.

You sit there speechless. How dare for him to came to your mother’s house, asking for forgiveness and pay for all your sister’s medical surgery then hoped everything will turn out fine! That is not how it should goes and you can’t believe your mother would believed that man after he lets his friends said about your family. Your mother forgives way too easy and it has always been a trait of hers you particularly dislike.

“What the-” You stand up quickly, going to the other side of the room, pacing back and forth because you have no idea how to fucking deal with this. “How did he even find you? Mom, we can’t trust him okay? This has nothing to do with my break-up with him but who knows what he will about to say next! He would probably rant this shit out to his friends and i will no-”

“Carmen, i got you the caramel macchiato hope you like it. The espresso ran out. The line was super long.” A familiar voice cuts you off with a small chuckle follows after. 

It’s Harry.

His eyes moves from your mother’s figure to your eyes and shock is evident on his beautiful face. Breathing stops and mouth parts open as he struggles what to say next. He can sense that he’s about to loose his grip around the coffees.

You’re here. You’re really here.

“Y/N, y-you’re-” He says, still looking at you,

You scoff, not in the mood for any of this. “Save it. I’m gonna get some fresh air.” After that, you quickly move towards the door and shoves him with your shoulder, walking out of the room as you runs to exit the building.

Tears starts to stream down your face. After not seeing him for months, he’s finally there standing in your sister’s room. Thoughts are running on your head, not knowing how to face him nor your mother at this point. You should feel happy and grateful that Harry offered to pay but you don’t want to be someone else’s gossip anymore. This is completely bullshit and you refuse to even stand near him after your break-up.

“Y/N! Wait!” He calls out, you crane your neck briefly to see him running to you, nearly knocking a few people. “Slow down, please! I want to talk to you”

You don’t listen, you keep walking and walking as you finally walk out of the building. Breathing out a shaky breath, you pull out a pack of cigarette from your purse as you struggle to take one stick out.

You heart someone’s panting from behind and you don’t doubt for one bit that it’s not Harry. Hand running over his brown hair as he tries to get closer to you, a frown on his face after he sees you holding something that he hates.

“Y/N, love. Please listen to me.”

Shaking your head, you turn your head about to leave. “No. Leave me alone.”

You haven’t even take a step because Harry has already marches his way towards you and grabs your fore arms, turning you to look at him as you squeal and struggle to let go from his grip.

“Let me go! You don’t deserve to be here. Just go, Harry!” You shakily says, sniffling as your eyes meets his green ones. The eyes that you adore throughout your relationship.

“Not until you listen to me.” He states again, and he hasn’t notice that he’s crying until he sees you. Here, standing close to him with his hands wraps around your delicate ones. “I’m sorry.”

Closing your eyes you look down, shaking your head as you continue to struggle so he can let go of his grip. You don’t want to heart this. You had enough. He hurt you badly that the thought of you talking with him again had not once crossed your mind. 

You miss him but you don’t want to talk to him ever again.

“I was a fucking asshole to you. I was a terrible boyfriend and i let those people got into my head. You were so perfect for me that you’re willing to give up everything including your classes. But i was so blind to see that.” He whispers, sobbing but he keeps maintaining his posture and say what he needs to say because he does not want to lose you again.

“You have done everything for me. Sacrificed nearly everything as well and i didn’t give a single damn about it. They--they were wrong about you. They were wrong about your family, they were wrong about your mother, they were wrong about your background and it pisses me off that it’s all they care about.” He continues, hands slowly falling to rest on your hips and his heart moves a little to see you’re not pushing them away.

“It doesn’t matter, Harry. It doesn’t matter now, you’re too late. I-- i refuse to let you or any of your friends talk like that about me. You have no idea what it’s like okay?!” You yell at his face, hands on his chest to keep him from coming closer. “You have no idea what it’s like to have a mother who doesn’t have a decent job, a father who went to jail for something he didn’t do, a sister who’s life is on a line because i have no fucking idea if she will survives or not!”

You break out into sobs, pouring everything you haven’t got the chance to say to him. He looks hurt. Hurt because he had no idea about everything that has been going on in your family and he’s a fucking dumbass. Why? Why would he hurt you like that?

“People look down on me many times. Including your friends. But i stayed because i loved you, Harry. I loved you fucking much and you didn’t care.” Tears are blurring your vision and it’s pointless to wipe them away, knowing they just keep on coming. “We won’t work. We won’t ever work.” 

He shakes his head, hands grabbing the either side of your face as he forces you to look back at him again. “No. No, no, no, no. We will work. We will, okay? I-- i love you, Y/N. I never stopped, i missed you laying next to me and i missed seeing you looking at your laptop for God knows how long because of school’s paper and it breaks me to hear it from your mom that you quit. I can’t let you do that, i want you to do something that you love. That’s why i’m offering, Y/N.” he reasons, thumbs wiping the salty liquid falling from your eyes.

“I care about them and i care about you. I love you.”

There’s a million reasons why you should give him up at this moment. You can’t bare the thought of getting hurt again in the future, that would be a huge risk. Heartbreak is something that you had overcome for numerous times and you can’t say that it wasn’t a big deal. Because it was. And you don’t know how long you can pull this through. You’ve lost so many good thing in your life and you can’t ask to God to give them back to you.

But, you still love him. Despite everything he had put you through, you still love him. The love in his eyes is undeniable, it’s all for you and not even him can’t deny that. He’s a beautiful person, inside and out. He would never ever had the intentions of hurting someone on purpose. Especially the one he loves. And that is you.

Your mother always says, ‘beautiful person deserves second chances. But remember it’s not the beauty of appearance you should see. It’s their hearts.’ She always reminds you of that with every chance she got.

And maybe... you should.

“Harry... i would be lying if i say i didn’t miss nor love you” You watch as his eyes lights up a little but he knows deep down that he can’t get his hopes up. “I’m not sure how we’re going to do this but... i’m willing you give you a second chance.”

He breathes out a small laugh, nodding his head rapidly as he feels the butterflies erupts his stomach. He truly can’t hide the excitement over the fact you still love him.

“Okay, baby. Okay. I’m just, so glad to have you back. Also i wanted to let you know that i’ve cut ties with all of them. Told them to never speak to me again or there would be a hell to pay.” He assures, biting down his lips trying not to smile hard because he knows for a fact that his cheeks will hurt.

You nod, stretching your lips into a happy smile. “Okay. I’m-- glad to heart that but you shouldn’t hav-”

“No. I should. And i’m glad i did. Fuck them. They have no rights to say that about you.” He scoffs, cursing them over and over in his head. “You’re the love of my life, Y/N. Thank you. Oh my God, thank you baby”. He whispers, slowly leaning into your lips and presses his rosy ones to kiss you,

It catches you off guard but you kiss him back nonetheless, and you feel him smile against your soft lips because you decides to. Nothing truly makes him happier than this. Nothing.

As the two of you disconnect your lips, smile is adorn on both of your faces. Foreheads leaning against eachother, unable to contain the small giggle that escapes from your lips.

“Welcome home, baby”