#it’s never going to happen. he lives in hawaii and even when he didn’t; he barely cared that i was alive

[fingertipsmp3]

I’ve just discovered something absolutely fucking crazy and now I’m experiencing emotions previously known only to shrimp

[hockey-fics]

One Big Charade ~ Matthew Tkachuk

Summary: Brady Tkachuk had been one of you best friends for most of your life. Matthew Tkachuk had always been the older brother of your best friend who you loved to pester. But sometime throughout the years the genuine pestering began to blur with flirtatious teasing with Matt, though you seemed to be one of the only ones who didn’t realize it. 

Word Count: ~6,400

Warnings: Drinking

A/N: Thank you to @tkachukz for the request and suggestions for this one. I made a couple little changes but I really hope you enjoy it!

You lived across the street from the Tkachuk family growing up, which was lucky for you because your mom often worked long hours and you were pawned off on any neighbours willing to take you in for the afternoon. Even luckier, you were the same age as Brady Tkachuk, who quickly became one of your closest friends growing up. 

Your after school routine usually included the Tkachuk house, or their backyard, or the park down the road. But it almost always included Brady. 

But spending that much time in the Tkachuk home meant you also spent a lot of time with -or, more accurately, around- Matthew. Matthew made his distaste for your presence known from a very young age. Not only were you the same age as his annoying younger brother, you were also a girl. At that age nothing could possibly seem worse. 

But you found Matthew’s annoyance rather amusing as a kid. You found little ways to get under his skin, pestering him relentlessly. Brady seemed to find it just as fun, the two of you giggling maniacally as you found new ways to annoy Matt. 

Half your pictures from your childhood included Brady and many of them Matt too, though those were clearly the result of parental intervention, ushering you all into the same frame. 

You would help Brady with his homework, you went to all his hockey games. He made you laugh till your stomach hurt, he taught you how to skate. He was the one who convinced you to bike down a steep hill in the forest and he was also the one who brushed the dirt out of the scrapes on your hands when you crashed. He was the brother you never had and he made your childhood much less lonely. 

As you got older you didn’t need anyone to look after you after school but that didn’t stop you from spending most of your free time with Brady at his house. Over the course of your childhood you were almost certain you had more dinners at the Tkachuk house than you had at your own house.

You remained close after graduation, through your years in university and his first few years in the NHL. You texted and called and visited whenever you could, taking advantage of holidays when you both came home and summers when you both were home for months at a time. 

Brady’s engagement came as no surprise to you. You knew about it long before it happened, being the one he ran every plan past before going through with it. Over the years you had also grown close with his girlfriend, well enough that you could help Brady put the engagement together in a way you knew she would want. 

The years had flown by so fast. Before you knew it was the night before you were flying out to Hawaii for the wedding. You were going to be a bridesmaid and you were overjoyed to be a part of such a special moment in the life of your closest friend. 

You’re sitting with the wedding party on a patio the night before the flight to Hawaii sipping a glass of sangria. The sun was beginning to set, the cool breeze was refreshing against your skin. The flight was less than 24 hours away and you were starting to feel excited energy radiating from everyone involved. 

Just as Brady says something that makes you laugh you notice another person approaching the table. Turning your head you look up, watching Matthew pull the chair beside you out from under the table, flopping down onto it. “Sorry I’m late,” he announces. 

“All good,” Brady tells him, handing him the drink menu. “How was the flight?”

“Not bad, delayed, but it was fine,” he replies, eyes focused on the menu in front of him. 

“Hey, Matt, nice to see you too,” you joke, watching him look up from the menu. 

“Sorry, yeah, hey, how’re you doing?” he asks, leaning back in his chair, angling himself to face you. 

“I’m doing pretty well,” you tell him with a playful smirk. “How’s Miami been?”

Matthew shrugs, “it’s been good.” You watch a little smirk cross Matt’s face and you narrow your eyes at him. “I see that you finally graduated.”

“Finally?” you scoff, shaking your head. “It took me one extra year, I had a job the whole time too.”

Matthew is chuckling at your defensiveness, picking up his drink menu again. “I need a drink.”

“Cause I’m so annoying to you?” you laugh, picking up your own drink and taking a sip. “The sangria is good.”

Matt turns his head, staring at you through narrowed eyes. “In what world do you think I would order…that?” he questions, gesturing to your glass. 

Giggling you reach over, roughing up his hair. “Aww, I forgot, your masculinity is too fragile to hold a wine glass.”

Matt swats your hand away, shaking his head. “You’re still very annoying,” he grumbles, closing the drink menu after making a choice. 

After a few more drinks the conversation circles back to the upcoming week. Everything from when you would arrive at the airport tomorrow to what time you would be back at the airport for the flight home was discussed that night. By the time the night was over you were quite a few glasses of sangria deep, pulling your phone out to get an Uber back to your house. Everyone but you and Matthew had already parted ways, heading home for the night. 

“I’m staying at my parent’s house,” Matthew tells you, standing beside you on the sidewalk, looking down at your phone over your shoulder. 

“Cool,” you comment, not knowing exactly what that was supposed to mean. 

Matthew reaches over your shoulder, taking your phone out of your hand. “Just Uber back with me, don’t be weird.”

Rolling your eyes you snatch your phone back. “I’m not being weird, you’re being weird.”

Matthew chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re drunk.”

“Maybe a little,” you concur, leaning against him. 

A second later Matt steps away, letting you stumble slightly before catching you, laughing loudly. 

“You’re so mean,” you tell him, pushing his hands off your arms. Even though it was mean it also felt like home, falling back into the same patterns you had growing up. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, dummy,” Matt replies, needing to add some sort of insult to the sentiment. 

The night goes by too fast for your liking as you pull yourself out of bed at 5am. Even once you’ve made it to the airport you’re still barely awake, on autopilot through security. By the time you were in Hawaii your mood flipped entirely, you were ready for everything and anything. The next couple days are filled with wedding prep, relaxing on the beach, and enjoying plenty of drinks. 

You’re sitting on a plush, white wicker sofa overlooking the ocean on the patio of the lounge Brady had reserved for wedding guests. It was the night before the wedding and everyone was mingling amongst the excited energy. You feel the sofa cushions sink and you look over, seeing Matt sitting next to you. 

“How’s it going?” Matt ask, lifting his arm over the back of the sofa. 

“Good,” you hum, shifting sideways to face him. “How’re you feeling? Your younger brother is getting married and you’re here single,” you tease. 

“You’re single too,” Matt points out. 

Shrugging you take a sip of your wine, glancing out at the ocean. “You’ve got two years on me, you never know, in two years I could be getting married.”

“No chance,” Matt chuckles. 

Scoffing you extend your leg, playfully kicking his shin. “Don’t be such a jerk.”

“I’m not, you’ve had so many boyfriends and they never last longer than what, four month, before you’re dumping them?”

“I just haven’t met the right one yet.”

“Why haven’t you stayed with any of them?” Matt asks, his tone suddenly serious. 

Shrugging you twirl your glass around in your fingers. “I don’t know, it just didn’t feel…right. Why haven’t you ever stayed with anyone?”

“I haven’t dated a million people like you have,” Matt teases. “Haven’t had the chance to find the one yet.”

Rolling your eyes you cross one leg over the other, leaning into the corner of the sofa. “It wasn’t that many guys.”

“I know,” Matt chuckles. “I knew they weren’t right for you anyway.”

“How would you know that? You met like one of them.”

Matthew glances across the patio, to where Brady was standing, chatting with a few guests. “I have my inside sources.”

“Why would you even care anyway?”

“I really do care about you,” Matthew admits with a soft smile. “You know that, right?”

You stare over at him, a warmth filling your body. “I…yeah, I guess so,” you smile, taking a sip of your drink. “Doesn’t hurt to hear you actually say it though.”

Matt stares at you expectantly for a few seconds. “And?”

“And what?” 

Matt chuckles, shaking his head. “Wouldn’t hurt to hear you say it.”

“Oh my god,” you laugh, rolling your eyes. “I care about you, Matt.”

“Thanks,” Matt says, placing his hand over his heart with a playful sense of drama. “I’ve been waiting for so long to hear that.”

“Shut up, you’re so stupid,” you joke, laughing quietly. As the conversation falls quiet you can’t help but notice the way Matt’s gaze was making your stomach fill with butterflies. Your cheeks begin to redden and you cut the mutual gaze short, looking away and taking a sip of your drink. Was Matt making you feel nervous? And how and why was Matt making you feel nervous?

“Want to get out of here for a minute?” Matt suddenly asks, drawing your attention back to him. 

“Uh,” you hum, glancing around at the gathering. You were part of the wedding party, you probably shouldn’t take off. But Matt was as well and that didn’t seem to bother him. Not to mention the fact that you had been sitting in the corner by yourself for the last hour and nobody seemed to notice your absence then. “Yeah, sure.”

Matt stands up and you follow after him, down the stairs from the patio to the cobble stone path. Stumbling slightly you try to pace your steps perfectly so your heels weren’t falling between the stones. If only Brady had picked a resort that didn’t make you feel like you needed to be so dressed up all the time. 

“Are you drunk again?” Matt teases, pausing to look back at you.

“No,” you exclaim, shaking your head. “It’s not even nine, it would be concerning to be that drunk this early.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Matt chuckles. 

“You wouldn’t be doing any better in heels,” you inform him, finally catching up with Matt on the path. 

“Then take them off, we’re going to the beach anyway.”

“Come here,” you say, reaching over and placing your hand on Matt’s shoulder. Reaching down you attempt to unbuckle the tiny silver buckle on the strap around your ankle. Wavering back and forth you clamp down tighter onto Matt’s arms, laughing softly. 

“You got it?” Matt asks, wrapping his arm around your waist as you go for attempt number two.

“Yeah, I got it,” you mutter, managing to get one shoe off before turning your attention to your other shoe. You didn’t realize how difficult it would be to ignore Matt’s hand on your waist and the strange sensation it was causing inside of you. Finally slipping the second shoe off you straighten back out, slowly pulling out of Matt’s arms. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Matt chuckles, continuing down the path beside you to the beach. “How was your last year of school?”

“Hmm?” you hum, the sudden change in topic catching you off guard. “Oh, um, it was good. Harder than the first few years, but it was pretty good overall.”

“Sorry I couldn’t come to your, uh, you know, the-.”

“Convocation ceremony?” you ask, laughing softly as Matt nods in confirmation. “That’s alright, it wasn’t that exciting anyway.”

“Well I’m proud of you…I mean, we’re all proud of you.”

Your eyes focus on the sand in front of you as you continue to walk along beside Matt, feet sinking into the soft sand, the breeze from the ocean tousling your hair. “Thanks, Matt, I appreciate that.”

You feel your fingers brush against his hand and your heart beats a little quicker. Looking up at Matt you see that he was already looking at you and you give him a soft smile, uncertain if you should step away to make sure it didn’t happen again or just let your hand fall so naturally into his. Before you have time to do anything Matt stops, lowering himself down to sit on the warm sand. 

Sitting down next to him, you pull your knees up towards your body and run your hands along your bare legs. “This is crazy,” you whisper. 

Matt turns his head, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at you. “What is?”

Brushing some sand off your hands you focus on the soft waves rolling onto the beach. “Brady…getting married. It feels like we were just twelve years old, fighting over who gets the last piece of pizza.”

Matt chuckles, throwing his arm over your shoulders and tugging you roughly into his side. “I’ll still fight you for the last slice of pizza if it’ll make you feel better.”

Giggling you scramble your way out from under his arm, giving him a playful shove for good measure on your way to sitting up straight. “Do you want to get married?”

“We haven’t even been on a date.”

Rolling your eyes you lean back onto your arms. “You’re an idiot.” 

“I do,” Matt says, his tone serious now. “Do you?”

Nodding you push a piece of your hair out of your face, finally turning to look at Matt. “Yeah, I do. I just, I don’t know…” trailing off you shake your head, looking back to the ocean. 

“What’s up? What do you mean?” Matt presses. 

Shrugging you take a deep breath, pulling your arms from behind you and leaning forward, anxiously wrapping your arms around you knees. “I don’t know, I’m 23 and I haven’t ever really even been in a serious relationship. What if, like, I’m not meant for that, you know?”

“No,” Matt says, reaching over and putting his arm around your shoulders. Pulling you into his side, gently this time, running his hand along your arm. “You’re making it seem like 23 is old… and if you think there’s no hope for you then I guess I’m fucked, hey?”

Laughing you tip your head back, looking up at him. “That’s not what I meant.” Shifting closer you rest your head on his shoulder. “I think you’ll find someone.”

Matt lets out a deep breath, tugging you a little closer. “Yeah,” he mutters. 

“Okay, rude,” you comment, sitting up straighter and turning to face him, looking into his eyes. 

“What?” Matt laughs, shaking his head as he lets his arm that was once around your shoulders fall to his side. 

“You could have said I would find someone too, even if you don’t mean it, just make me feel better.”

“Relax, I know you’ll find someone. Maybe you already have.”

Rolling your eyes you settle back beside Matt, leaning into his side. “This isn’t ‘What’s Your Number?’ I’m not going back.”

Matt wraps his arm around you and your eyes land on where his hand was resting on your body. “That’s not what I’m saying,” Matt chuckles. “I’m not telling you to go back to your ex.”

“Then who? You?” you ask, laughing softly. 

Matt is quiet for a few seconds longer than you were expecting. “You’ll find someone, I promise.”

“Well, thank you,” you whisper, noticing that the orange glow from the sun had disappeared, the evening quickly rolling in. “I guess we should head back up there,” you say with a sigh. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be mingling but something about being on the beach alone with Matt felt so comfortable. 

“You sound pretty sad about that,” Matt comments. 

“I’m not,” you whisper, not making much of a move towards actually getting up and heading back to the party. “I just…I don’t know, this has been nice.”

“It has been nice…you not being a little pest for once.”

Scoffing you sit up away from him, turning your head to look into his eyes. “Don’t even, you have to admit I made your life more entertaining.” 

Matt nods in agreement, his hand landing on your thigh. You try your hardest not to look at his hand, not to acknowledge his touch even though it was taking up every ounce of your self-control not to. 

“You still do,” Matt tells you. “It’s just different now.”

“Different how?” you whisper and your eyes glance down to his lips so unconsciously you didn’t realize you had even done it till your eyes were returning to his. 

Matt shrugs, his thumb running back and forth on your bare thigh. “We’re adults now, you’re smart and funny and you don’t actually annoy me anymore.”

His comment makes you laugh and you shake your head slightly, looking down at the sand for a second. When you look back up you’re caught off guard by Matt’s sudden intensity. You watch him shift closer and your breath catches in your throat as you realize what was happening. But you don’t do anything to stop it, instead you lean closer till your lips were nearly brushing against his. Bringing your hand behind his neck you lean into the kiss, his lips soft against yours. It’s slow and gentle and you can barely register the deeper meaning of what was happening, you were just wrapped up in the feeling of it. 

Pulling back you let out a soft, uncertain breath, slowly pulling your body away from him. To say you were at a loss for words was an understatement. “I-,” you begin, glancing around, trying to figure out a few more words to string some sort of sentence together. “We, um, we should maybe go back up there, I guess.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Matt mutters, pulling himself to his feet before reaching down and grasping your hands, pulling you up to your feet. Before letting go of your hands Matt leans down, kissing you gently again. 

You’re not sure what comes over you as he pulls back but you have your arms over his shoulders a second later, leaning up and kissing him quickly. It’s eager and passionate and you’re pushing yourself closer to him as his hands land on your waist. 

“Don’t tell Brady,” is the first thing that leaves your lips when you finally pull away, watching a look of confusion cross his face. “I mean, you can tell him after, if you want. But this is his week, I don’t want something I did to take away from that.”

Matt nods, leaning down and pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re right.” His hand slides into yours and he nods back towards the restaurant up the beach. “We should probably be back there before everyone leaves.”

“Yeah, definitely,” you breathe out, laughing softly. It was suspicious enough for you two to disappear for a little while, it would be pretty obvious what was going on if you both left altogether in the middle of the party. 

Once you get back to the path you let go of Matt’s hand, struggling to get your shoes back on before heading back up to the patio. 

It’s Brady who approaches you first. “Where’d you two go?”

“We-,” you begin, getting cut off by Matt trying to answer as well. 

“We just went, uh…” Matt begins, glancing down at you for a second. 

“We just went for a walk on the beach, sorry for leaving, I just, um, I needed to get some air.”

Brady raises his eyebrows, glancing around the completely outdoor patio. “Air?”

“Space,” Matt chimes in. “Just a lot of people here.”

You knew that wasn’t overly convincing either, you were rarely one to say no to any type of party or gathering, especially with a bunch of people you knew and loved. 

“Right,” Brady comments. “Well anyway, we’re heading out now, want to get a good sleep tonight.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” you nod, too eager for the change of subject. “I’m so happy for you, Brady, it’s going to be amazing tomorrow.”

“You’re being weird,” Brady tells you bluntly. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you assure him, swallowing nervously. 

“She’s drunk,” Matt chimes in. 

Reaching over you swat at Matt’s arm playfully, glaring up at him. “I’m not drunk, I’m just really happy.”

“Alright, well, I’ll see you two tomorrow morning, we’re still all going for breakfast together?” Brady asks. 

“Yeah, of course.” Leaning in you pull Brady into a quick hug. “See you tomorrow.”

You and Matt watch Brady weave his way out of the restaurant and back towards the hotel. “So you still suck at lying,” Matt comments.

“I do,” you whine, sighing loudly as you turn to face Matt. “I think I’ve gotten worse.”

“He’ll be too busy tomorrow to ask too many questions.” Matt reaches over, pulling you into a hug. “You heading up to bed now?”

“It’s only 9:30, I’m not tired.”

Matt pulls back, reaching down and taking your hand. He’s guiding you back into the hotel lobby a minute later not telling you where the two of you were going, but you didn’t care enough to ask, you were ready to let him take you anywhere. 

It doesn’t take long for you to find out where you were going as you step into Matt’s room, immediately noticing how much nicer it was than your own. “That NHL salary must be nice.”

“It’s not bad,” Matt chuckles, walking over to the edge of the bed and sitting down, watching you walk through the room to look out onto the patio. “Do you want more wine?”

“You have wine?” you ask, looking over your shoulder at him. 

“I can get us wine,” Matt tells you, holding up the room service menu. 

Walking back you sit down next to Matt, leaning into him to look at the wine list with him. “What kind of wine do you like?”

“I don’t really like any,” Matt admits. “But it’s okay enough to drink.”

“Okay enough to drink,” you repeat teasingly. “How about this one?” you suggest, pointing to a pinot gris. 

“Sure.” Matt reaches for the hotel phone, calling room service and ordering the bottle of wine and the cheese platter that was the suggested accompaniment to the wine, though it was truly just a way to convince people to spend more money. 

“A cheese platter, how dignified of you, Matthew,” you tease, standing up from the edge of the bed to head back towards the patio. 

Before you can take a step away Matt has his hands on your hips, spinning you around to face him. “Keep laughing and I won’t share with you.”

Placing your hands on his shoulders you give him a little shrug. “I’m just here for the wine.”

“Just the wine?” 

“Yeah,” you whisper, leaning down, bringing your lips close to his. “You don’t even need to be here.”

“Oh, really?” Matt teases, his lips brushing over yours. “You could get wine in your own room, you know?”

“But then I would have to pay for it,” you joke. You finally let your lips connect with his, kissing him slowly. Your fingers curl into his hair, his hands drifting around your body, touching each other in a way you never imagined would ever happen. 

“Oh, I see, you’re just using me for money,” Matt chuckles when you pull back. 

“Yeah, I am,” you joke. “I was playing the really, really long con. Hung around for fifteen years in hopes that one day you might buy me a bottle of wine.”

“See, I knew you were smart.” The sound of a knock on the door draws your attention and you step aside to let Matt answer the door. 

While Matt collects the wine and the cheese platter you make your way onto the patio, sitting down in one of the soft chairs, looking out at the night sky over the ocean. You turn your focus to Matt when he steps onto the patio, putting everything down onto the glass coffee table, pouring two glasses of wine and handing one to you. 

“Thank you,” you tell him, taking a sip of the cool white wine. “Are you ready for tomorrow? Got your speech prepared?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Matt comments, leaning back into the couch on the patio. “Are you?”

“I’m nervous,” you admit, laughing softly. “I’m worried I’m going to trip when we’re walking in.”

“I would say you’ll be fine but after watching you try to walk down to the beach today I don’t know.”

“Matt,” you whine, shaking your head. “Don’t make it worse.”

“Fine, you’ll be alright, it’s not a long walk, I have faith in you.”

“Very reassuring,” you joke, sighing softly as you lean back into your chair, the warm buzz of alcohol in your system. 

“What’s your plan now?”

“Now?” you ask, sitting up straighter. Was this his way of asking you to leave?

“Yeah, you’ve graduated. Are you moving back home for good or are you going somewhere else?”

“Oh,” you hum, leaning back into the chair. “I don’t really know. I was thinking about moving somewhere new, but I don’t know where. Maybe just find a job somewhere and go from there.”

“That’s exciting.”

“Is it?” you laugh, your anxiety about it coming through loud and clear. 

“Why do you sound so scared about it?”

“Because it’s scary. I don’t know if I’m ready to move somewhere all by myself.”

“I’m sure there are places you could move where you wouldn’t be by yourself,” Matt reasons. 

“What? Like Miami?” you joke. 

Matt shrugs, taking another drink from his glass. “Would that be the worst thing?”

“We’ve kissed, what? Three times? And you’re asking me to move across the country for you,” you giggle. 

Matt chuckles, extending his arm and taking your hand.”It we make it four will you think about it?”

Following his lead you settle on the couch beside him, leaning in and kissing him gently. “No,” you whisper as you pull back from him. 

“Well I’m not asking you to, but it’s an option and I’ll be there for you.”

“You’re actually kinda sweet.”

Matt lets out a breath of laughter, pulling you a little closer. “I always have been, you were just too busy pestering me to realize it.”

“You’re such a liar,” you laugh. “You were mean to me when I was a kid.”

“Mean is pretty harsh,” Matt comments. “I cared about you when we were younger, I just didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Well you did a pretty good job keeping that to yourself.”

A comfortable silence falls amongst the two. Matt was running his fingers up and down your arm gently. You had your head on his shoulder, your hand resting on his thigh. Eventually you pull yourself away from Matt, turning to look at him.  “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replies, the two of you gathering the empty glasses and dishes from the table before heading inside. “Do you want a t-shirt to wear?”

Glancing down at your dress you nod in response. “That would be great.” 

Matt rifles through his suitcase, handing a t-shirt to you before beginning to unbutton his own dress shirt. Sitting on the edge of the bed you pull your shoes off, tossing them to the side before standing up again. “Can you help me?” you ask, turning around and pulling your hair to the side, exposing the zipper up the back of your dress. 

“Yeah, of course.” His hands were gentle as he slides the zipper down slowly. “How’d you get it zipped up?”

“Not gracefully,” you laugh. “And I wasn’t about to let you see me struggle that bad.”

Matt places his hands on your waist after unzipping your dress, tugging you back against his body. “Are you sure that’s why?”

Sighing quietly you lean back against him. “I do like when you touch me,” you admit. 

You can hear Matt inhale sharply and you can’t help but giggle. Pulling away from him you slide your dress off your body, feeling incredibly exposed in front of him. You had been in a bikini around him many times before, but something about this felt very different. Quickly tugging the t-shirt on over your head you make your way to the large bed, leaning against the headboard as you wait for Matt to join you. 

Once a movie is decided upon you settle in beside Matt, your head on his shoulder, your arm over his chest. Despite trying to fight off the heaviness in your eyes you eventually drift to sleep before the movie was over. 

The next time you open your eyes the morning sun is shining in through the patio doors and you’re curled up under the soft blankets. Rolling over you watch Matt’s eyes open, a sleepy smile forming on his lips. “Morning,” he mumbles. 

“Morning,” you whisper, looking at the clock on the bedside table. Thankfully you still had plenty of time before you were supposed to be meeting everyone for breakfast. There was no way the two of you could lie your way out of both of you being late for breakfast. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Matt chuckles, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. “Yeah, how dare you,” he joked. 

“Did you like, tuck me into bed?” you question, not remembering being under the blanket at any time while you were awake. 

“Yes, but don’t make it weird.”

“Why would I make it weird?” you ask with a mischievous smirk. “You’re so sweet, just a gentle teddy bear, so caring and cute, letting me sleep in your super comfy bed, way better than my own, making sure I’m all tucked into bed,” you tease, knowing this was exactly what he was talking about. 

“Go back to your room,” Matt groans, shaking his head. 

“Fine, I will,” you tell him, climbing out of the bed and picking your dress up from the ground. 

“I didn’t mean that.”

Pulling Matt’s t-shirt off you set it on the bed, laughing at how fast he was taking his comment back. “That’s good to hear, but I really do need to go shower and get ready for breakfast.”

After a quick goodbye and a rushed shower in your own room you head to breakfast. While you definitely exchanged a few knowing looks with Matt breakfast goes by without a hitch. So does the rest of the day, through last minute wedding prep, hair and makeup, and getting dressed. By the time the ceremony was about to begin you had been so busy all day that your thoughts were not wholly wrapped up in Matthew. 

You survive the walk down the aisle without tripping and you manage to not shed enough tears to wreck your makeup while watching your best friends get married. The entire process slips by so fast, dinner and speeches being over before it felt like you even had a chance to catch your breath. 

Before you know it the dance floor is filled with people, the lights in the reception hall are dim and you finally have the chance to sneak off to the bar on your own to get yourself a drink. 

“How’re you holding up?”

Looking over you smile up at Matt, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t realize being a bridesmaid would feel like running a marathon.”

Matthew chuckles quietly, wrapping an arm around your waist as he steps closer to you at the bar. “How about we go outside? Actually get some air this time.”

After collecting your drink you follow Matt, sneaking out through a backdoor. You sit down on the stairs to the beach, Matt joining you a second later. Tipping your head to the side you rest it on Matt’s shoulder, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. 

“I’m tired,” you laugh, feeling Matt wrap his arm around your waist. 

“You can sleep in my much comfier bed tonight,” Matt says, using your own teasing words back at you. 

Giggling you lift your head to look at Matt, your eyes falling to his lips. Matt brings his lips to yours in response, kissing you gently. He places his hand under your leg, pulling it over his and turning your body towards him. Your fingers grasp at the lapels of his suit jacket, tugging him closer as the kiss becomes more and more intense. When you pull back to catch your breath you notice the figure standing near the door. 

“Fuck,” you breathe out, clambering to your feet. “Brady,” you call as he turns to head back inside. 

“No, don’t let me stop you,” Brady comments, turning back to you as you get closer. 

“I’m sorry, we weren’t going to be out here long, I promise, it’s been like five minutes,” you assure him. 

“You two came out here five minutes ago and started making out?” 

“Yes,” you insist, feeling Matt place his hand on your lower back, standing next to you. 

“What the fuck happened in five minutes to make this happen?” Brady asks, clearly skeptical about your timeline. 

“Uh,” you begin, glancing up at Matt. “It wasn’t, I mean, this wasn’t…”

Brady raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to go on before a look of realization crosses his face. “This wasn’t the first time.”

Shaking your head your lips form a tight-lipped, nervous smile. “No,” you whisper. 

“How long have you two been fucking then?” Brady exclaims. 

“No, oh my god, we haven’t,” you defend, hearing Matt chuckle at your frantic need to get that fact straight. “We kissed yesterday and then, I don’t know, we spent last night together. But I promise we weren’t keeping it a secret for anything other than not wanting to distract from your wedding.”

Brady nods slowly, glancing back and forth from you to Matt and then back to you. “Fuck,” he groans, throwing his head back dramatically. “I knew this was going to happen.”

“What?” you mutter, arms folded over your chest. 

“Well I thought if it was going to happen it would have happened years ago, you two had weird tension growing up and I don’t even think either of you even noticed it.”

Your attention is redirected to Matt, trying to figure out if you were the only one who hadn’t picked up on any tension. From Matt’s look of confusion you knew you weren’t. “Tension?” you press forward. 

“Oh my god,” Brady groans. “Everyone but you could see it. You always said you didn’t like each other but people who don’t like each other don’t spend that much time together.”

You glance back up to Matt again, feeling like your entire childhood was being laid out in front of you in a completely different light. 

“Be honest, Matt, you’ve always had feelings for her,” Brady states, staring directly at Matthew. As Matthew opens his mouth to say something Brady cuts him off. “You did, I don’t even know what you’re going to say but you did. You pretended to be so annoyed but you hung around us like a fucking fruit fly, if you were really annoyed you would have gone and done something else.” 

“Are you mad?” you finally whisper, voice meek and anxious. 

“No,” Brady exclaims loudly. “Oh my god, no, I’m actually kinda relieved I can stop pretending that you two always hated each other. You never did and you’ve made me go along with your weird little charade of always being annoyed with each other.”

“Brady,” you say softly, throwing your arms around him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that or this or anything to make you feel weird or anything.”

Brady wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. “It’s okay, but can you both come in and enjoy the party because we’re paying a lot for it for you two to just sit out here making out.”

Laughing you pull back, nodding in agreement to come back inside. “As long as you’re okay with me dancing with Matt.”

“Gross,” Brady teases, the three of you heading back into the reception venue. “But I’m going to find my wife so you two do whatever you want, I’ve got a wife now.”

“Yes, you do so go find her,” you tell him, letting yourself fall back into Matt’s arm. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his side. “So you’ve always like me,” you tease, looking up at Matt. 

“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Matt says, his cheeks red as he shake his head. 

Giggling you lean up, kissing him quickly. “Okay, fruit fly, let’s go dance.” 

You’re trying to walk to the dance floor when Matt wraps his hand around yours, tugging you back into his chest. “Absolutely not, you’re not calling me fruit fly,” Matt says with a breath of laughter. 

With a playful smirk you wrap your arms over his shoulders, “what are you going to do, punish me for it?”

Matt lets out a quiet groan, glancing up to the roof for a second. “Fuck, let’s go dance, we can’t keep going with this conversation.”

“Why?” you laugh, feigning innocence as you bring your lips closer to his ear. “Can’t handle thinking about it? Me and you, all alone, your hands-.”

“Stop,” Matt mutters, pulling away from you. “Don’t do this to me.”

Grabbing his hand you tug him along to the dance floor. “Then dance with me, or I’ll keep going.”

“You’re holding me hostage on this dance floor,” Matthew tells you, but the unwavering smile on his face tells you all you need to know. 

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it, Brady ruined your little act.”

“He did,” Matt laughs softly, “but I’m kinda glad he did.”

[floradinterlunium]

When Rationality Becomes Irrational

The number one reason people refuse to accept or admit the obvious nature of Jikook’s relationship is not because of Homophobia or Taekook, it’s because of excessive rationality--Jikook can’t be in a relationship because of the risks.

We’ve all heard the rationalizations:

1. Why would Jikook risk their careers and their bandmates careers over what could potentially amount to a fling? A break up would destroy the group! Jimin and Jungkook are too professional to take such a risk.

2. Hybe would never allow them to be in a relationship. BTS is their number one money maker and Jimin and JK are two of the most popular members. Let’s forget break up, what if they’re outed...that would destroy the group and with it HYBE’s number one source of revenue. So anything that looks suspicious has to be fan service because its financial suicide to allow Jikook to be “real.”

And I will admit all the above is true! Jikook being in a relationship is a massive risk! But this is where rationality can start to impede on our logic.

Yes, it is “irrational” to enter into a relationship with your same sex bandmate in a homophobic country when you are at the peak of your careers...but it was also unavoidable...

Let me explain:

Imagine falling in love with your best friend that you not only happen to work with but also live with. To make matter worse, let’s also imagine that your friend also loves you too. A physical relationship at the very least is bound to happen because at no point are you ever able to escape your feelings...you are with the object of your affection 24/7.

In my opinion,  It is more logical to expect a relationship to blossom out of that, regardless of the risks, then to expect these two individuals to have more self control than a Buddhist Monk. 

It is not rational to expect people to Always behave “rationally.” Thus, whether or not Jikook being in a relationship is rational or not should play no role in whether or not one thinks they are. Because there is no doubt that them being a couple is a risk...no one is arguing against that. All we are saying is risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because things like GCFT happened:

Jungkook planned and paid to take Jimin to Tokyo for his birthday--A city he said he wanted to spend his free time in on multiple occasions. He then spent a lot of time researching and constructing a romantic vlog of Jimin in Tokyo  set to the tune of a romantic song. No normal unbiased person walked away from that video thinking anything other than this video was made by a man in love with Jimin. 

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because they say things to, and about each other like, “I promised him I’d go even to the moon with him,” or “he’s my I am you, you are me,” or “I want to spend a long time with you” or “my favorite thing is waking up and seeing JK.” These aren’t things Just friends or even best friends say to each other in normal conversations. These are words lovers speak to each other.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because instead of just flying to Hawaii from Europe, Jimin chose to fly back to Korea, get JK a birthday cake, and plan a birthday party to surprise Jungkook. He didn’t just wish Jungkook a happy birthday like any just “friend” would do, he made it a point to never miss celebrating Jungkook’s birthday with him. That is something a boyfriend or husband would do for their partner.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because whenever JK looks at or talks about Jimin he has stars in his eyes. Jungkook comes live a lot and he spends the vast majority of his lives either live reacting to Jimin content, talking about Jimin, or becoming like a kid at recess whenever Jimin makes a point to comment on his lives. How can anyone watch JK’s recent lives and not conclude that, that man is in love with Jimin. His behavior is not normal friend behavior. Hobi’s support, and Yoongi’s support is normal friend behavior. They show up for him, cheer him on and even fan girl. But JK takes the cake. He spends huge chunks of time just gushing over JM, Why? Because he loves him.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because when sick the only person JK doesn’t mind accompanying him or staying in the room with him, even when he’s being stripped naked is Jimin. When RM asked if he wanted them to leave for privacy...JK said yes but no one made JM leave because it’s understood that JM is not like the rest when it comes to JK. That’s a high level of closeness...to allow someone to see you so vulnerable, in a state of helplessness and be okay with it. 

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because they are always together. Band members, staff, they themselves admit this. They are always together on and off break. JK said when they were on break the only members he spoke to were Ji-hope. When members mention them they confuse their names, or talk about them in unison...Jk and Jimin did this or JK and JM are always up late! They are a package deal. We may not see them much now days but we know they are still together a lot because of the way they speak and other’s speak about them as if they are used to seeing them together “JM will come (box) when he gets off.” “JK make ramen for me when I come over.” “JM come eat chicken with me-” JM responds I will come when done. 

Risk aside...Their closeness defies normal friendship closeness. Jikook are human with human impulses and feelings. If they started having feelings for each other there was no avoiding a relationship...regardless of the risk...regardless of Hybe...regardless of the band! No normal human being would be able to stop themselves from entering into a relationship with a person they loved if they were under the same conditions. Every day i grow more sure of the fact that they are together because when I look at them I look at the abundance of footage BTS footage, fan sightings, JIkook statements and I conclude that even though they are well aware of the risks they took it because they knew there was no other option.

Jungkook is more superstitious then Jimin he believes in things like Destiny and from the way he looks at Jimin and behaves towards, protects him and sometimes treats him like porcelain it is clear that this man sees Jimin as his Destiny. Jimin while self admittedly doesn’t believe in things like fate and destiny, he does believe in committing oneself to someone for life and I truly think he sees JK as his life partner...which is why, as careful of a person as he is, he has taken the risk...because JK is his person.

[goodnightmemes]

YELLOWJACKETS SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ The only thing you should ever say to the police is, "I want my lawyer." That's why I put it on the cookie. ❜

❛ Before you go, you should take some Hawaii 5-0 punch. It's just regular Hawaiian punch, but I gave it a snazzier name. ❜

❛ I might have to break up with him. Unless I get lucky and he just disappears. ❜

❛ I don't want to talk about the future, anyways. I'm all about living in the moment. ❜

❛ You're, like, holding on to me or whatever. That's, like, haunting 101. ❜

❛ I had to cut back the rations again. There's not much left. ❜

❛ The thought of you with someone else always scared me. But it also turned me on. ❜

❛ I'll make a solid kidnapper out of you yet. ❜

❛ There's no such thing as false hope. There's just hope. ❜

❛ I'm not scared of you. I'm never gonna be scared of you. ❜

❛ This is how you're choosing to say "I love you," for the first time? ❜

❛ You weren't the only smart one. You just liked to think you were. ❜

❛ What if my only way of dealing is to numb myself into oblivion? ❜

❛ They're too focused on their own shit to even notice that I'm gone. ❜

❛ Well...you're not a picture of normalcy yourself. ❜

❛ I can feel your heart beating. ❜

❛ Everyone has their role. ❜

❛ Stop reliving this! You're in the vise grip of your trauma. ❜

❛ Every time that you try to save someone, a lot of bad shit happens. ❜

❛ Serial killers love puzzles. It's a documented fact. ❜

❛ For fuck's sake, shut up! Don't you see how much damage you are doing? ❜

❛ I don't even know where you end and I begin. ❜

❛ Believe me, if I could relax about anything ever, I promise you, I would. ❜

❛ As I'm sure you can imagine, emotions can run high in a place like this. ❜

❛ You never know when you might need to leave the country sans passport. ❜

❛ It made me feel like...I didn't know what was going to happen. And I liked that. ❜

❛ You can't blame yourself. We all did it together. ❜

❛ Dude, I don't even remember what socks I put on today. ❜

❛ I guess I'd kind of do anything to see him again, you know? ❜

❛ Moving in with you means everything in my life changes. ❜

❛ I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here. ❜

❛ Thing is...it's one thing to point a gun at a person. It's another thing to use it. ❜

❛ There's a look people get when they realize they're going to die. It's that one. ❜

❛ My hand wasn't shaking because I was afraid. It was shaking because of how badly I wanted to do this. ❜

❛ I'm gonna live how I want to. How I know I'm meant to. And I'm gonna be the person that I know I am. ❜

❛ They're all lucky to have you. It's pretty rare to have a friend who's relentlessly got your back. ❜

❛ In small towns, everyone knows who and where the weirdos are. ❜

❛ I don't normally hitchhike and...look like this. ❜

❛ I know that you're depressed. I know that you can't see it, but I can always tell. ❜

❛ Yes, I am still depressed because it's kind of a forever thing, but I'm doing real work. ❜

❛ And I swear to God, if you lie to me again…I am so fucking over secrets. Like, I can't. ❜

❛ Oh, my fucking God. So, you… you killed a person? ❜

❛ Maybe one day I can talk to you about it, but for now, can that just be enough? ❜

❛ I don't understand why you won't see what's right in front of you. ❜

❛ I'm sorry I disappointed you. I love you even when you try to control me. But I'm okay now! ❜

❛ I think we need to get you out of here. ❜

❛ But I just got here. I don't - I don't want to leave you. ❜

❛ As parents, it's part of our job. We have to protect her, we have to shield her from making the same shitty mistakes we made. To throw our fucking bodies in front of her if that's what we have to do. ❜

❛ No, you can't deny this anymore. There is something deep inside of you that is connected to all of this. ❜

❛ So, you gonna tell me why you're here, or are we just gonna pretend this isn't super weird? ❜

❛ I'm doing a fucking thing here. I don't need you getting in my way. ❜

❛ If I happen to mention sacrificing anything on an altar, well, just ignore that part, okay? Thanks. ❜

❛ Do you get how lucky we are? Some people never find someone they trust enough to share their deepest secrets. ❜

❛ You think I'm capable of murder? ❜

❛ You're charming and impulsive, which are traits of most serial killers. Only, you pull it off. ❜

❛ Look, all I'm trying to say is, I like you regardless of your extracurricular activities. ❜

❛ That's medication for me to mind my own business. You should take two. ❜

❛ Maybe you don't have to be dying to have regrets. ❜

❛ I'm mixing my pop culture metaphors 'cause I'm fucking upset! ❜

❛ I can't ask you for your help 'cause I don't want to hurt any more of the people I love. ❜

❛ You should know better than anyone we can't define a person based on their past. ❜

❛ I don't need your fucking prayers, I need you to have my back. ❜

❛ We weren't alone out there. ❜

❛ You should get the hell away from me. I'm poison. I ruin people. ❜

❛ We did so much fucked up shit out there. And, yeah, maybe it was to survive. Maybe. But I don't think we deserved to. ❜

❛ Women have been having babies for millions of years. You're gonna be fine. ❜

❛ The wilderness recognizes your sacrifice. And so do I. ❜

❛ The power of that place. The god of that place. We did terrible things in Its name. ❜

❛ It's all your fault. There's just something wrong with you. You always do this. ❜

❛ Aren't you probably the last person who should be giving me legal advice right now? ❜

❛ I know I have no right to ask you this, but truly, what is going on with you? ❜

❛ I just want to know you haven't given up on love. ❜

❛ Maybe I have given up on love. But don't flatter yourself. It's not because of you. ❜

❛ You know I don't deserve your friendship, right? I just hurt people. ❜

❛ Suffering is inevitable. And only by meeting it with compassion can we truly begin to grow. ❜

❛ I never even wanted to be a mom. ❜

❛ I did not start out a bad person. But in case you haven't noticed, life doesn't tend to turn out the way you think it will. ❜

❛ Oh, no. What happened? Fuck, are we going to jail? ❜

❛ It's you and me against the whole world. ❜

❛ You lost a lot of blood and you were unconscious. We thought we lost you. ❜

❛ I kept surviving all this shit that should've killed me, and I just...I figured it meant something. You know, like maybe it meant that I had some kind of purpose in all of this, but, uh...Yeah. I'm not fucking seeing it. ❜

❛ I need to know why the fuck I'm still here. ❜

❛ Shouldn't you be in therapy? ❜

❛ I'm not like you, okay? I don't think of killing as a joke. ❜

❛ I really am very grateful that your hobby seems to be figuring out how to be the perfect serial killer. ❜

❛ I've always kept my daughter at arm's length. I think just out of fear that she would...die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. ❜

❛ I can't have another death on my hands. ❜

❛ I can't wait for you. I don't have that kind of time. ❜

❛ Tell me, is there anything of value in this life that doesn't come with risk? ❜

❛ Does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone? ❜

❛ What, do you want to casually reminisce about our time in fucking oblivion? ❜

❛ Well, if I'm repressing things I don't know about, I am very okay with never figuring it out. ❜

❛ I know there's a lot of pain. You need to let it out. ❜

❛ I don't understand. You measured the grave to the standard six feet? ❜

❛ You're lying to me. And I want to know why. ❜

❛ Maybe [name] dying wouldn't be the worst thing. ❜

❛ When they get a whiff of how much of a liar your mom is, they'll realize that the ❜ psychopath apple doesn't fall far from the fucked-up, man-eating tree. ❜

❛ So, this is what you've all been doing with your lives? Chasing blackmailers and murdering lovers? ❜

❛ I think we can agree that it's in everyone's best interest that [name] is gone. ❜

❛ If I die, don't waste my body. Promise me. ❜

❛ I thought you loved all of me, like I love all of you. ❜

❛ We put ourselves in danger for you. You've been using us! ❜

❛ I've been trying to fix...No. I have been telling myself that I've been trying to fix things and make the problems go away, but the truth is, I've just been doing stuff that makes it worse. ❜

❛ We're all pretty messed up. It's time we finally fucking talk about it. ❜

❛ This isn't something that therapies can fix. ❜

❛ I think that you might be taking this whole, like, cult leader persona thing... a tad far. ❜

❛ I never meant... I didn't want this. ❜

❛ You started this. It's done. And it's going to save all of our lives. ❜

❛ I appreciate you trying to teach me...forgiveness. It's a nice idea. ❜

❛ I let him die in my place. It was supposed to be me. ❜

❛ You're a good person. You really don't belong in this place. ❜

❛ I'm not ashamed. I'm glad I'm alive. And I don't think that any of us who are still here should feel ashamed of that. Ever. ❜

❛ That was a beautiful false confession. I could see it came out of real love. ❜

❛ You want to help me move this body? ❜

❛ It's up to you. You can submit. Or you can run. ❜

❛ You know there's no "it," right? It was just us. ❜

❛ I never wanted to be in charge. ❜

❛ No. I'm not supposed to be here. ❜

❛ This is exactly where we belong. We've been here for years. ❜

❛ It's not evil. Just hungry. Like us. ❜

[redfurrycat]

🤠🪅👨🐓Sugar Daddy Fic Recs🐓👨🪅🤠

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

Ao3 Authors: Chase_acow, Ginnydear, Hangmanbradshaw, LulaluzHazel, Mackwinnon, Renai_chan, Thegeckbros.

I'm a babygirl in a daddy's world > Daddy Klnk

leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream by ginnydear {E}

“Getting old,” she replies, humming again. “I guess that means you’re entering a new era of hook-ups though.” “What on earth are you talking about?” Bradley asks, turning down the television. “Come on Bradley, you know you’re gonna find some hot twenty-something who wants you to fu-” “Okay!” Bradley says, laughing a bit as Natasha sputters and laughs too. “I get it. You don’t have to continue.” “Don’t be such a prude,” Natasha says primly. “I was going to say ‘fund their grad school dreams’ before you so rudely cut me off.”

The Only Exception by mackwinnon {E}

Organized crime AU. Escort Jake meets Bradley in a club while he's with another client. Bradley's instantly intrigued and makes Jake an offer he can't refuse. It's just business. Until it isn't.

nothing’s good until it hurts by thegeckbros {E}  

there's money for the taking (and the happiness we all deserve)

“So, what, one of the richest dudes in New York wants to be your sugar daddy?” “Kinda?” Jake sits back up, straightening up and turning his body towards Javy. “He doesn’t want like sex or anything. He just needs someone to pretend to date so his uncle and PR team get off his back about his reputation.” Or a sugar daddy au in which jake is a struggling law student, bradley's a billionaire, and they weave a tangled web

you do it all your life and you never get through it

The silver lining, if there is one to be had, about watching his dad die in front of him is that the worst thing to ever happen to Bradley is over before his life has really begun. Every shitty breakup or spectacular fuckup, every broken bone or missed flight. None of it will ever come close to even touching the worst day of Bradley’s life. And then, 15 years after the worst thing that’s ever happened to him, it all happens again. Or scenes from bradley's life, before and after jake

We're Crashing Like Waves by Renai_chan {M}

Jake is a movie star looking to get some surfing lessons and Bradley is a surfer living a quiet life in Hawaii. Like the land and the sea, they come together on the edges of O‘ahu.

Sugar Daddy Bradshaw by chase_acow {E}

Cutting to the Chase

“I’ll agree to pay for one semester if you make me look good and let me touch your ass. I suppose I’ll have to live with the disappointment of no blowjob,” Bradshaw sighed, his shoulders slumping as he adopted a hangdog expression, for exactly five seconds before he grinned again. “But think about it. I can’t be your sugar daddy if you don’t give me the sugar.” “You’d be interested in something long term?” Jake asked doubtfully, wondering if he’d somehow been involved in a terrible accident and this was all a hallucination from his desperate brain low on oxygen. “Based on what I’ve seen so far, you might be sweet enough to pay through to your doctorate,” Bradshaw said with a shrug of his shoulders as if he didn’t care one way or another about throwing a hundred thousand dollars at someone he just met.

Party Favor

Bradley needed him to go to New York on a business trip, but first Jake had to have a suit that wouldn’t make the people they were meeting laugh. So Jake spent a very uncomfortable afternoon at the tailor playing a life-sized Ken doll while Bradley and the old man with too many straight pins talked about him like he wasn’t there. The suits he ended up with each cost more than his car. The bruises he ended up with when Bradley pulled him into the changing room and lifted him up to wrap his legs around his waist had faded by the time Jake got on the private plane for the trip. Earning his membership to the mile high club was kinda cool, too.

Ride 'Em Cowboy

Bradley had some work to finish, but he joined Jake in time to start the football game. As the Longhorns ran out on the field, Jake found himself sitting pretty in Bradley’s lap. His skin felt a hundred times more sensitive after staying naked and having Bradley prime him for so long. The mustache at the nape of his neck made him shiver. “Do you think you can come once for each quarter?” Bradley asked, hands on Jake’s knees to situate them to his liking. He licked his palm and then took Jake in hand, “I think you can do it.” * “Your team’s winning, baby. What do you have to cry about?” Bradley teased after they’d watched more of the game. One hand pet across Jake’s belly while the other twisted Jake’s head around so he could lick at Jake’s tears. “Is it too much?”

Know Better

“You can come, but I am not fucking you in my mom’s home,” Jake said, leaning into his stern voice. He’d learned enough about how to wrangle the older man in the last couple of months to know he had to start out solid and then stick to his guns. “And we don’t have time to fool around now. So repack, and you’d better pick at least one shirt that isn’t going to blind everyone with the print.” Bradley smirked, and Jake should have known better.

that little farm where every wish comes true by hangmanbradshaw {E}

Jake's only wish that holiday season was simple- to keep his family christmas tree farm. He never expected that wish would be granted via a man with deep pockets, an amused smile, and commitment issues a mile wide. He never expected to like him. He definitely never expected to love him. Hell, he never expected Bradley Bradshaw. Or Hallmark Christmas Movie but make it sugar (daddy) and spice and everything nice.

Serendipity by LulaluzHazel {E}

During his second year at university, Bradley found himself with no room or a place to live. Venting to his co-worker, a handsome customer overheard his problems and offered him a sweet deal: to stay at his flat in exchange for looking out for his cat. But why did his new landlord have to be a naval aviator of all things? Couldn't he just be a regular rich kid?

[amive2567]

Ingredients: Shoto Todoroki x gn!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x gn!Reader, Hitoshi Shinsou x gn!Reader

Contains: violence, mention of murder, mention of Stockholm syndrome, illegal gambling, just illegal stuff; don't take notes kiddos, yandere behavior

Type of order: macarons (headcanons), galaxy milkshake (au/ villain Au)

Hitoshi Shinsou:

He's a bounty hunter on the run, but also kinda like robin hood

He killed the rich/villains in the way and gave his money to you or donation organizations

He is always on the run, so he can’t spend his time with you

He doesn't want you to know about his doings, but he always keeps you safe from everyone that wanted to hurt you

Tbh he hid in the dark and snatched those “not so good” people away from you

He works together with the Kurogiri

His mind control was pretty helpful

Winning their trust, controlling them, and boom dead

At the end of the day, he made a lot of money and he would gladly spend it on you

With that, you could live a lavish life

He may be always on the run, but he still visits you about 5 times a week, always in another disguise

He came in for cuddles, dinner dates, or gaming nights

You knew that bringing up his work would only cause arguments, so you just rolled with it

He would kill everyone if it meant keeping you safe and sound

You are the most precious thing in his life

You are the only one who sees him vulnerable

As long as he is by your side, nothing will ever happen to you

 Shoto Todoroki:

A corrupted speculator, he started in high school and gambled with the money he stole from his dad. 

Online, of course.

He always wins and people were are by his skills

Never lost a bet and earned an immense sum of money

If he won his conqueror would never be seen again

He spends a lot of his money on you, to get you little gifts or flowers

You knew what he does as an earning and you understand it somehow, even though you were anxious at first

but he will protect you at all costs, even if it meant to freeze someone to death

Even though he loved his job, he loved you more, so he spend as much time with you as he could

even though he is feared by most, he is pretty clingy and sweet when he's with you

His job wasn’t always as fun as it sounds, he had to deal with death wishes and gang fights

Due to these circumstances, you had to move now and then

But you didn’t care, you would go everywhere he goes

Izuku Midoriya:

After all, might told him he can't be a hero, he wanted to full fill Akatsuki's dream and jump off the school, but he thought about it one last time

Rage filled him and as he turned around from the building he ran in one for all

OfA gave him a powerful quirk to help him to tear down the hero-society

He wants to have everything under control

He always got ruled over by everyone, and now he rules over everyone 

Only kills heroes with bad intentions like endeavor and other fame-hungry heroes

Has an All might hate page, because he crushed his dreams

He helps ofa as a double agent, he feels like he needs to pay him back

Izuku is a Yandere you are his obsession and no one can have you except for him

You can't escape 

He will give you everything to satisfy you 

Loves you deeply and adores you to the core 

If someone harms you he will go feral and extremely protective of you 

He creates a sort of Mafia to get the hero-society down 

Will fulfill all your needs 

New car? No problem 

Traveling to Hawaii? He will book the best flight 

If the member of the Mafia take a wrong look at you, they are instantly dead, shot in the head in the center hallway of the Mafia 

He will take revenge if someone does him wrong 

You are the only person to see his caring side 

He loves you and you learned to love him to (thanks stockholm syndrome)

 



[one-vivid-judgment]

A beach date with Ichiban, Joongi, Tomi and Chitose pls! 🌞🍹

A CHI-CHAN REQUEST GUYS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, MY BABY GIRL IS HERE 😭😭

Ichiban Kasuga

He’s down for just about anything, but one thing about him is that he can’t ever just stay still. So long as it doesn’t end up with him butt naked and arrested for public indecency again, he’ll love to spend a good day at the beach with you.

Chances are, he’s diving face first into the sea as soon as you get there. You’ll never get how he can strip out of his clothes so quickly. And you bet he’s asking you to join him, big smirk on his face and enjoying himself like a little kid swimming in the sea for the first time (considering he spent such a long time in jail, Hawaii probably was his first experience with this, and you bet he’s taking full advantage of it).

Will try to pull the puppy eyes so you stay a little longer. Whether it’s because you’re tired of swimming and want a break and Ichi doesn’t want to have fun all by himself, or because it’s getting late and you really should be leaving, but Ichi wants to watch the sunset with you (hey, it’s romantic! Don’t blame him!)

Joongi Han

Vibrating internally because yes, he did book a flight to Hawaii out of spite, but he really didn’t get that much time to just relax. When he did get to go to the beach after the whole ‘Akane and Lani are in danger and we have to go to Nele Island ASAP’ was settled, Seonhee asked him to fan her while she was sunbathing. The beach has honestly been kind of a frustrated dream for him so far, and he is excited.

He likes swimming more for training purposes, not so much to just have fun. If you want to go swimming, then sure, he’ll go along, but he probably will get out after a while. Making sandcastles on the other hand... Now that is something he can spend hours doing. It may sound childish to some people, but as Joongi himself puts it, “it is an art,” and he has mastered it. It’s not like he ever got to have a normal childhood and play in the sand like other normal children—think of it as ‘healing his inner child’.

The type who prefers the beach at night. It looks prettier and there aren’t a lot of people around. Full-beach-days are nice every once in a while, but if it were up to him, he’d rather go in the evening, watch the sunset, drink something at the bar nearby, maybe get a fruit salad or something else that’s sweet and nice to have in the hot weather, then just take a walk near the shore.

Eric Tomizawa

Honestly, he is a little tired of the beach. Between driving clients to and from there, Ichiban taking them all there, and just the fact that he’s been living in Hawaii his whole life, it’s getting a bit tiring. However, if you want to have a beach day, he won’t say no. A date is a date.

Likes playing volleyball or a nice game of cards more than swimming itself. The sea is nice and he will take a dive once or twice, but really, his favorite part about the beach is just chilling under the parasol. Cold beer, nice cool shade, tasty food. What else could he possibly ask for?

Poor man gets sunburn so easily. He’ll spend the whole day at the beach, putting on sunscreen basically every hour or two, and he’ll still get burnt. At this point, you’ve accepted it as just... something that will happen regardless. You keep aloe vera cream at home for this reason alone—not that Tomi is complaining about getting a massage, he just wishes it didn’t have to involve this; sunburn fucking sucks and he can’t move properly for at least a week until they heal.

Chitose Fujinomiya

Oh, she loves the beach! Pretty much like Ichiban, she’ll jump into the sea as soon as you get there, except she’ll straight up drag you along instead of trying the puppy eyes strategy. If she has to push you into the water to get you to swim with her, she will. You don’t want to test her.

Always carries a purse full of products with her to the beach. Sunscreen, sunglasses, lip balm, aloe vera cream, wipes, a hairbrush, flip flops, bobby pins, lotion, you name it. She likes sunbathing as much as the next girl, but she also hates getting sunburn, so it’s better safe than sorry. If it’s too heavy, she can just ask you to carry her bag!

She will ask to stay until the sun sets because she’s a romantic like that, and there is nothing more romantic than watching a Hawaiian sunset with your partner, is there? Besides, there is a bar right next to the beach, so it’s the perfect setting: get a drink (blue Hawaii, anyone?), sit down, watch as the sun goes away. It doesn’t matter how many times she sees it, it will always take her breath away.

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Author: norahastuff

Artist: Logan

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Length: 27000

Warnings: undefined

Tags: Canon compliant (more or less) Takes place during season 4 and 5 Grace Healing Dreamwalking Late night conversations A whole lot of beach talk

Posting Date: October 6, 2023

Summary: It's the end of the world, and neither Dean nor Castiel is feeling particularly fine. But while the world is still spinning, they have to find a way to keep living in it. The Apocalypse may not seem like the best time to forge a bond, but if some small measure of happiness can be found amidst all the pain and uncertainty that surrounds them, that can only be a good thing. And maybe sometimes good things do happen.

Excerpt: Dean seemed remarkably at ease, the relaxed lines of his body oddly distracting sprawled across the chair. “You sound like you disagree.” Castiel shrugged. “Sam knows you better than I do.” “In some ways. Come on, Cas, let’s not pretend. You get me.” His tone was light, but Castiel knew he was serious. He was aware he connected with Dean on a level that he couldn’t quite make sense of. Yes, Dean understood him, but he understood Dean too. While he’d been hesitant before to contradict Sam on his brother’s deepest desires, Dean had asked. Castiel met his gaze. “That life… It’s what you think you should want.” “Yeah,” Dean said, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands behind his head. “That’s where I landed with that whole thing too. Sam’s not wrong, if things were different, Lisa and I… maybe we could make it work. But they’re not. Even if we save the world, I’ll still be me. And I mean, I don’t actually know her all that well, anyway. We might end up hating each other if we try to give it a go for real.” Dean shrugged. “White picket fences sound good in theory, but really, I don’t think I’m the Mr. Suburbia type. Hawaii and Springsteen, though? That sounds like my kinda thing.” “I thought you didn’t like to fly?”  Dean waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll take a bucket of Valium. Or we can charter a yacht. I’ve always wanted to go on a yacht.” “Well, my most recent experience on a boat wasn’t particularly enjoyable.” Since he was exiled from Heaven, he hadn’t known where he was going to wind up when he’d activated the banishing sigil he’d carved into his chest. A shrimping boat off the coast of Delacroix wouldn’t have been his first guess. “Big difference between fishing trawlers and luxury yachts, buddy. Come on, me, you... maybe Sam. He’s not much of a beach guy, but we’ll give it a shot. Might have to max out a few credit cards to make it work, but fuck it, right?” Dean’s eyes sparkled from something more than the alcohol. There was a vibrancy, something unquantifiable Castiel couldn’t put a name to. He was so emphatically alive, and Castiel didn’t care anymore whether they won or lost. Everything he had done had been worth it. Every additional second that Dean’s light burned in this godforsaken universe made it worth it.  Dean had balked when Castiel had compared him to Helen of Troy. Had claimed no one would ever go to war over him. Castiel had almost laughed at the absurdity. Helen may have summoned a nation to arms, but Dean could bring this universe to his knees if he tried. Castiel was suddenly glad he’d never had any real power to speak of. He wasn’t sure how far he’d go in service of protecting Dean, of preserving his happiness if he had the ability. He’d burn it all down if he had to.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[ravcns]

Cruel Summer

Dick Grayson x reader

summary: he doesn’t do commitment well neither of you did, however he takes it to a whole other level

Dating him was like a fever dream it didn’t feel real and it should have felt amazing being together, but there was this looming feeling that something was going to happen. You two have been in a relationship for almost four months now yet you never met his family. Part of you felt disappointed, what else could you feel? Sometimes Dick made you feel like he was ashamed of your relationship then he would turn around and all he would do is show you affection. The hot and cold attitude only worsened your fears overtime. Of course you were open about some of the concerns you had.

“Why haven’t I met your family yet?” You asked him one day when the two of you were laying on his bed at his apartment in Bludhaven. He paused from caressing your hair and looked down, you could have swore a look of annoyance crossed his features but as soon as it came it was gone. “I just don’t want to subject you to that, love. My family can be a bit much at times and it wouldn’t be fair to put you through that.” He explained with a concerned look. At the time his reasoning was good enough for you, thinking how amazing he was to not want you to go through that and protecting you as he would call it.

Going on dates had always been a thing for you both, trying new things together and you enjoyed it. As time went on those happened less and less, whenever you suggested something he was always busy or would be called in for work. He was one of Gotham’s most sought after men that also came with a reputation, one which you ignored for some reason. Maybe it was the way he looked at you that could make your heart stop and face get all hot. None of the past boyfriends you had could compare to Dick Grayson. He put all your concerns to ease with his words followed by soft kisses.

With the arrival of summer you were hoping to get more time with him maybe even a vacation together. Of course it didn’t happen and your schedules got in the way once again. Now you wouldn’t say you were addicted to your phone but you did keep up with what went on in the city. “Bruce Wayne’s Ward Lives Up To His Reputation” An article which included your boyfriend dancing with a stunning red head at his father’s charity gala, scrolling you also see him with a ravenette. All this time he never took you with him to these galas but he would dance with those girls and the only thing you could do is watch.

It was the end of August, your birthday to be exact. The two of you were supposed to be out for dinner, he never came. That didn’t stop you from ordering a few drinks before calling a taxi to get to his apartment, crying during the ride. Using your key you opened the door to his apartment quietly only to see the same ravenette from the article in his kitchen making coffee, in his shirt. Her hair was messy and she had visible hickeys, many of them. You looked at her then called out, “Dick Grayson!” The man himself came out of his bedroom in a pair of sweatpants and shirtless. You didn’t even let him speak before going off, “You are a fucking coward that’s what you are, a cheater, and a liar. I knew it was too good to be true you have so many people lining up to be with you. I’m guessing I wasn’t enough huh.” You spat sarcastically. “Don’t be like that.” He said, walking towards you but you moved away. “Be like what? You are the one who cheated on me, on my birthday mind you.” You told him. The girl in the kitchen looked at him, “You said you were single, that was dick move dude.” She told him, moving to get her stuff. “Listen I had no idea, I’m so sorry.” She continued whispering, “I hope you beat his ass.” Then she left the apartment.

The two do you stood in silence before you broke it. “So this is how it is?” You asked him. “I never wanted to hurt you, I love you so much. Babe we are going to go to Hawaii and everything will be fine.” He told you. “Everything will not be fine, no stupid vacation will fix the fact that you cheated.” You were yelling at this point. “I was so grateful that you loved me, that was my mistake.” You walked out of his apartment not stopping for any of his calls.

It was a cruel summer.

[pixeldistractions]

Jack Phoenix lived a pretty ordinary life. His brother caused all the drama that people talked about in their family. In fact, when all added up, Hayden had probably caused their parents enough stress for the both of them combined, so Jack felt it was his duty to be the stable twin.

The biggest stir Jack ever caused was dumping his high school girlfriend in his sophomore year of college. He had met the woman who would become his wife, whom he married and remained happily married to for all their years since. He didn’t become a pro sports star after high school and became a cop instead. Like his father, like any other number of thousands of men just like him. Like it was a Phoenix family tradition to aspire to greatness and fall just short. They were family people, hard-working people, and their family was strong.

His family was comfortable while remaining humble. He lived in a beautiful suburban home with his beautiful wife and three beautiful children. He built a treehouse for his kids in the backyard. He was a scout club leader on Saturday mornings. He had a job that fulfilled him and a rich network of friends.

And his dad was dying.

It was early, but not remarkably so. Micah had enjoyed his retirement for a few years—not as many years as he hoped. He met his grandchildren, but he didn’t get to spend as many years with them as he hoped. No matter how early or late, would it ever be enough time?

It happened slow for a while, and fast in the end. Micah learned the news of his terminal condition last summer, and he waited until the fall to tell his family. The first months felt so surreal for them all. They didn’t understand it, since he looked the same as ever, healthy as ever. They were sure the doctors were wrong. He would live longer than twelve months, they were sure of it.

Other things took priority, as life does. Jack and Hayden talked casually about putting together a little trip for their dad. He always wanted to see Brazil, or Japan, or Indonesia. He’d been basically nowhere and his bucket list was an eternity long.

They went back and forth about where, how long, how much it should cost. But soon Micah grew too tired for even walks around the neighborhood, content to sit and watch the birds. He was watching his life go by him, slipping past more rapidly now than ever.

They didn’t go soon enough, and before they knew it, Micah was too sick for Brazil, and then, too sick for even Hawaii.

He would leave this life having never seen the places he dreamed of.

It happens to the best of us.

Micah was far too humble, having spent the bulk of his middle age caring for his family. Jack could blame his brother for being so messy for so long, but that wouldn't help their situation. There was no way to turn back the clocks.

“It’s okay,” Micah told Jack. “I’m at peace with that. But you go. You see it all, whatever it is you want to see. Do what really matters. Do it now, not later. You never know when your time will run out.”

Until you finally do know, with certainty, exactly when your time will run out.

“I will, Dad,” Jack said. “I promise.”

The only thing Micah wanted now was to pass as painlessly as possible in his home, surrounded by the family he loved.

They were right about one thing. Micah Phoenix did last longer than the doctors foretold. He lived fourteen months instead of twelve.

It happened on September 29th, 2088. He was 66 years old.

— from “intermission: when time runs out” (1/3)

Next ->

[brattylikestoeat]

Bratty! You’ve briefly mentioned your experiences with the guys in Florida (I think they were all military and you were a done?) could k please ask what you learned about yourself and about men?

The little you shared - they were nice, scarred from their experiences, some had acid tasting junk - made me curious about the whole thing.

I’m surprised they were willing to be vulnerable and share that they were so lonely and troubled - is that something you had to work at or were they already in that space? How did the pegging go - did they enjoy it or were they trying hard to prevent you from seeing how much they liked it?

Love questions like this.

1) kinda mixing up two different experiences. Gator and Chez were from flordia. When I lived in Hawaii I dealt with a few military men (guy who jizz tasted like acid).

2) my first experience with being a SB and Domme where in Hawaii. I didn’t know it was called being a SB but regardless this older Asian man paid me weekly to spend time with him. No fucking, some kissing and touching but he was mostly lonely and just wanted some company.

As for what I learned about myself, I learned to be my own ducking person. Mind you I’m 19 when I get to Hawaii. I learned that I had my own needs and wants. I learned any type of relationship wasn’t just about making men happy.

As for what I learned about men. That color, background, education level most men at the core are the same. Men wanna be around women they think are pretty and most are willing to do anything to make that happen.

People in general just tend to be comfortable around me. I can put anyone at ease, I’m a people person even tho I hate talking and being the center of attention. It’s something I can turn on/ off.

As far as men go, I can be whoever they want. My true personality is a introvert. Ted likes a damsel in distress, so that’s who I am with him. Donald like a strong take charge domme, so that who he get.

I’ve only pegged two guys. Donald and someone else. And they both enjoyed it for different reasons and they both ask for it first. I never bring up pegging to a man. Like Mr. No Name said something after we went to a adult store. Just him bringing it up means he already comfortable with me.

[rainydayhues]

Chenford Week 2022 - Day 4

title: healing doesn't happen in a straight line

prompt: “scars” and “apologies/making up”

“What’s this one from?”

“Hmm?” It was lazy and content, Lucy’s mind still in a haze from the past few hours. Because being here, with Tim, in his arms, in his bed, it’s a feeling like no other. 

But then his finger circles the not entirely faded scar on her side. He already knows about the tattoo, its crude ink still blatant, a memory, not gone and certainly not forgotten. Back stiffening, it occurs to her, he’s obviously not asking about the tattoo.

She tries to relax, not wanting to burst this bubble of bliss they’d created for themselves. But he knows her so well, too well. Instinctively, he knows there’s more to this - more to her tense body, more to the way she’s trying not to react, more to this scar. And sure, before tonight, he probably wouldn’t have had any opportunity to see it but something about Lucy’s reaction is telling him that he’s missing a piece of the puzzle. 

“Lucy, talk to me.”

She’s suddenly up and squirming out of his arms so she can sit up in bed. He’s not exactly thrilled to not be holding on to her but for some reason, he knows that this is a conversation they need to have. 

“Look, Tim, I - I need you to understand. I’m fine and I’m here now, with you. That’s what matters.”

His hackles are raised and he’s ready to interrupt her before she jumps back in, “I’m going to tell you, I’m just, I need you to understand that first. I’m fine, okay?”

“Lucy, seriously, start talking.”

She takes a deep breath, there’s no beating around the bush. He’s losing patience and she’s losing steam. 

“It’s a from a stab wound, it happened when I was working with Sergeant Murray's team…you know, back then.”

It’s like a gut punch. Back then. She doesn’t need to specify, he knows exactly when. Because yeah, they didn’t talk about it. He tried to block it out and she acted like it wasn’t a big deal but for six excruciatingly long weeks, Tim and Lucy didn’t speak and as it turns out, it was a very big deal. 

The UC op had shifted their dynamic. Over two weeks of living together, playing pretend, acting like the happy couple Jake and Juicy were and that Tim and Lucy most certainly weren’t, had taken a toll on them both. It had never veered into inappropriate territory (nothing beyond the not so fake kiss in Lucy’s apartment - yeah, shockingly, the need to repeat that had never come up again). 

But when the case was wrapped, paperwork signed and justice served, Tim and Lucy found themselves….off. A conversation needed to be had and they both knew it. At this point in their relationship (and it was a relationship) they knew each other better than most, on this they could both agree. There was so much to say but then nothing to say at all - nothing that anyone wanted to bring up so soon at least. Lucy’s approach was to give it time, let them both breathe and re-acclimate; Tim chose to run off to Hawaii with Ashley. 

There wasn’t a discussion, no goodbyes, not even a courtesy text. Lucy walked into roll call two days later only for Grey to break the news that Tim was on his vacation and she’d be riding with Nolan in the interim. 

Confusion. Disbelief. Anger. These were the warring storm of emotions Lucy felt over the next two days. It was one thing for Tim to go on vacation with his girlfriend, she’d never begrudge him that. But if he thought he could get away without even the courtesy of a “head’s up Lucy, let’s talk when I’m back” text, he was sorely mistaken. Because two could play that game. 

So when the call from Sergeant Mark Murray came, passed on from a just-on-maternity leave Harper through to Grey, Lucy leapt at the chance. It wasn’t strictly undercover. There was a lot of leg work involved - research, strategizing, intel gathering, and sure, maybe some field work. The timing couldn’t have been better - Lucy reported to Sergeant Murray for her next shift. Another week passed and when Tim finally walked into Mid-Wilshire, it was to the news that Lucy had taken a temporary assignment with another sergeant at another division for the foreseeable future. 

With each passing day, it became harder for Tim and Lucy to reach out to the other. Neither wanted to be the first to fold, each one holding on to misguided resentment. So two weeks turned into a month which turned into six weeks. Neither was looking forward to a stilted conversation or a fight. Or worse…the idea that maybe, just maybe, the other didn’t care at all - the underlying fear that they’d both moved on and what they had wasn’t even worth fighting for. 

In the end, it hadn’t been just one thing that brought them back together - Lucy’s return to Mid Wilshire, meddling friends and the general pull to each other that they couldn’t quite shake, had all led to a tentative reconciliation. 

It had been awkward at first. They were both wary, not seeing or talking to each other had taken its toll on them both, not to mention their relationships. Tim and Ashley had called it quits almost immediately after Hawaii, the last leg of their trip so incredibly strained that it had been an easy decision for them both. Chris and Lucy hadn’t fared much better; joining a new team and learning a new job had left Lucy with very little time to see Chris. And it became increasingly clear to them both that while she could make it work, she maybe just didn’t want to. So with those relationships firmly (and amicably) in the past and Lucy’s short term assignment over, it paved the way for Tim and Lucy to find a way back to each other again. 

And this time, it was for keeps. There were feelings that could no longer be avoided and frankly, didn’t need to be. Life was too short and Tim and Lucy’s feelings, too big. And so with full faith in each other and what they had, they took that final step, knowing that if they took this leap, there was no turning back (not that either wanted to). 

But maybe that six week silent freeze is something they should’ve discussed more, Lucy ponders now. 

“You were stabbed - what the - when? How? What the hell happened?”

“Tim, does it matter? I’m fine, it wasn’t even that serious in the moment. Mark took me to the ER for protocol more than anything else. It was a few stitches, a couple of hours under observation and I was home. And I worked on intel gathering for the rest of the assignment.”

A beat of silence passed as Tim’s emotions spiraled from panic to anger to disbelief, ultimately landing on hurt. 

“I didn’t know. How could you not call?”

At that her heart breaks, she reaches for his hand, speaking softly, as if to a child, “Tim, we hadn’t talked in weeks - I didn’t know…”

He pulls his hand away, as if burned and she flinches at his next words. “You what? Didn’t know if I’d care? Lucy, if you could actually believe that, then what the hell are we doing here right now?”

“Tim, that’s not it! It’s not that I didn’t know if you’d care. I knew you would. I just didn’t know….how to call. It had been weeks, I didn’t know what to say, where to start. And I…I didn’t want me being hurt to be the reason you came back to me.” 

“I just…I hate this, okay? I hated those six weeks and I know part of that is on me for leaving first. But Lucy, the idea that you were just living this other life, this life that I had no idea about, that you were hurt and I didn’t know? It…I don’t ever want to go through that again.”

“Hey, we won’t, that’s not going to happen. I…we should’ve talked about this sooner, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault and Lucy, I’m sorry too but we have to be able to talk about this.” 

“I guess - I just figured if we didn’t talk about it, if we acted like it wasn’t a big deal….it’s almost like it didn’t happen?”

“But it did. And, god, Lucy, you were hurt. I should’ve known about it, if anyone should’ve been there, it was me.”

He was right. He should’ve been there, but not because it was his right or because they owed each other anything. Tim should’ve been there because that day, hurt and alone in an ER bay, the only person Lucy wanted at her side was Tim. That was reason enough. But seeing his face now, in a moment already so fraught with tension, fear and guilt, all she wanted was to ease his mind and lighten the mood.

“Okay, fine, you can be there next time, in fact, you’ll be my first call.”

At his panicked wild eyes and subsequent glare, she places her hand against his chest, pacifying, “okay, you’re right, too soon,” before adding sincerely, “I’m sorry…really.” 

He sighs at that. It would always be too soon to think about Lucy being hurt but he knows what she means, that she’s trying to move forward. He softens his face, finds her hand again. 

“Tim, can we just - I know we can’t go back. We can’t change what happened but we can talk about it now.”

He takes a deep, steadying breath. Because she’s right. They couldn’t change the past. But still - 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

Apologies were good but if he’d learned one thing when it came to Lucy, talking was better. He leans back against the headboard, bringing Lucy with him. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation but they had to start somewhere. It was worth fighting over because they were worth fighting for. 

“Alright, start from the beginning and at least tell me you made the arrest.”

“You know I did, I had a great TO, he trained me for exactly this.”

Yeah, they’d be just fine. 

[ptrckjcne]

⇨ When the Sky Falls Down

pairing: steve mcgarrett x danny "danno" williams word count: 8.5k timeline: canon divergent / sometime towards the end of season eight, start of season nine title: inspired by / picked from and translated from the song "når hele himmelen faller ned" by anne grete preus

❝Everything happens a little slower here on Earth as the whole sky falls down.❞

short description: steve, danny, grace and charlie travel to new jersey, and visits the williams family.

read on archive of our own! || written as part of "year of the otp"

keep in mind this is not beta read, written at all times of day and contains stupid amount of fluff!

Steve was used to the snow. Naturally he was – the man was a fucking Navy SEAL, he had probably spent three years of his life living in a snow cave he had dug out himself in Alaska during his training. Alright, maybe that was taking it a bit too far – but still, the point comes across nonetheless. You see, the ever-so-versatile Steve McGarrett didn’t even flinch when Danny said they’d be heading to the mainland during the worst snow season in New Jersey. Hadn’t he known better, Danny would probably say Steve looked a little excited about the fact, and Danny wasn’t going to lie; he was more than just a little excited about watching Steve and Charlie spend hours in the snow. Just the idea of bringing Steve to New Jersey had Danny excited, a new kind of excited that he hadn’t felt before. 

He had been in Hawaii for Thanksgiving, working on the perfect dinner for the team with Steve, though it had all been disrupted when a call with a bomb threat came in, and they had instead spent the evening tending to cuts and bruises, mending each other’s hurt with whisky and kisses instead of a team dinner and celebrations. Christmas had, for some reason, been split between him and Rachel; he had the kids for the first few days, while Rachel had taken them to England for New Years. Steve – God bless him – had noticed that Danny was uneasy with the thought of only having a few days with the children over the holiday, and had put in his absolute best effort to make Christmas the best holiday ever. In hindsight, Danny had come to realise it was the best holiday ever, but that had nothing to do with the eccentric reindeer-costume that had been forced onto Eddie, or the way Steve had somehow managed to cram together an entire holiday into the span of three days. It had been the best holiday because Danny had his people with him; Steve, Grace and Charlie (and Eddie – he could never forget Eddie).

Now, however, as he was sprawled across their bed – their shared bed – he found himself simply watching as Steve packed, fascinated with the way he brought an op-like precision into everything he did. Eddie was slumbering at the foot of the bed, his head resting heavily against Danny’s ankle, seeming to be aware of how his human family were preparing themselves for a vacation he wouldn’t be going with them on. “Are you going to make running commentary, or are you just going to stare?” Steve chuckled, voice laced with amusement as he turned, shoving one final item of clothing into his bag. 

“I’m just curious to see whether you’ve packed for a Jersey winter, or if you’ve packed for – you know,” he gestured vaguely around, making it clear to himself that he meant the stupidly warm Hawaiian winter. “Your favoured winter, where you could wear shorts every day.”

Steve grinned widely, fingertips brushing against Danny’s calf as he gave Eddie’s head a couple of pats. “I’ve been to the mainland during winter before, you know. Seems you keep forgetting the years I spent in the Navy.” He turned towards the doorway as Charlie appeared, clad in his superhero pyjamas with a wide grin on his lips. “Hey, buddy, are you ready for bed? Did you pack your backpack with the things you want to bring for our trip?” Steve’s voice grew softer as he spoke with the young boy, who in return climbed onto the bed to have better reach as he clung to Steve like a koala.

“I packed my coolest action figures, so I can show grandpa.” Charlie nodded against Steve’s chest, furrowing his brow at the rumbling in the larger body as Steve responded with a chuckle. 

“Alright, well, we should get you to sleep then. Me or Danno?” Steve raised an eyebrow, as if the answer wasn’t clear enough to him with how Charlie had done his best to wrap himself around Steve, though the poking at Steve’s ribs caused the wide grin to return. “Roger that. How about you say good night to Danno, and meet me in your room?”

It caused Danny’s heart to skip a beat, the way he said it. Not long after they had admitted their feelings for one another, somehow hastily over yet another this could be the end of the world situation, Steve had made it clear that he wouldn’t want it any other way. His old room had been redecorated to meet Charlie’s standards, an odd combination of race cars, superheroes and cowboys, and Mary’s old room had been turned into a room suited for Grace, making sure she always had a place to stay whenever she decided to make her way back to Hawaii – back home – from college. In many ways, it had been the simplest yet most perfect admission from Steve that he didn’t just want Danny, he wanted it all – he wanted school mornings, homework, little league games, pancake mornings and all the messes that came with living with a child. Steve, who had never been foreign to the idea of having children, but had struggled to find the needed balance between his work and personal life, and when he in turn had been diagnosed with radiation poisoning (and, he hadn’t specifically told Danny, but the detective was well aware that if the radiation itself hadn’t made him completely infertile, there was a high chance he would never be able to have children of his own), it had seemed like the perfect time for him to commit, fully and wholly, to Danny and his children. 

Danny was pulled out of his thoughts as Charlie flopped against the mattress next to him, giggling like a mad-man as he snuggled closer. “Can you promise me that when Steve comes to wake you up in the morning, you will get up right away?” Danny huffed, arms wrapped tightly around Charlie, which made it difficult for him to jump up and salute his father with a Yessir, yes!, something he had picked up from the Navy SEAL, without a doubt. “Sleep tight, buddy, I love you.”

“Love you too, Danno.” Charlie replied, words muffled against the fabric covering Danny’s chest, before squirming his way out of the warm embrace. He could hear Steve’s chuckles from the room down the hall, followed by the low sound of his voice as he started telling a bedtime story, and based on the sound-effects – it could very well be a (hopefully) children’s appropriate version of some case they had worked (not that Danny hadn’t done the same; his mild and children’s friendly Christmas-story, which portrayed Steve as the hero who saved the holidays, had become a favourite of Charlie’s).

It wasn’t until Eddie started moving, stretching with a wide, whiny yawn, that Danny too decided he should get moving, following the dog downstairs to let him out back. Grace was on the couch, watching some ridiculous reality programme, the kind of show that Danny would never in a million years allow himself to be caught watching, yet he sunk into the couch next to his teenage daughter once Eddie was back inside.

“If you’re going to sit here, I’m not giving you a run-down of what’s happened.” Grace rolled her eyes, patting Eddie as he pressed his snout against her thigh, before wandering off to his preferred spot by Steve’s desk, curling as best he could against the rug.

“That’s fine.” Danny shrugged, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to wrap his head around the overly dramatic argument that was unfurling on the screen in front of him. However, as Grace yawned, he let his attempt of understanding go, and turned towards her instead. “You know, we’ll be getting up quite early tomorrow, probably wouldn’t be a bad idea if you headed to bed now. If you’ve packed everything you need for a few days in Jersey, that is.” Danny chuckled, knowing his daughter had his not-so-fortunate skills when it came to packing, and he was already dreading the time he would spend in the bedroom as he packed, Steve hovering over him and commenting on whatever he thought needed a comment.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer, if it means I’ll escape you and your thoughts.” Grace grinned wickedly, pressing a kiss to her father’s cheek with a muffled good night, and vanishing upstairs.

Steve appeared shortly after, leaning against the railing of the staircase, a chuckle escaping his lips. “See, I’d come over and join you, but I know for a fact that you haven’t packed, and I’m not about to have you grumpy-packing at four am.” Taking the last few steps down, he ensured the front door was locked, and headed to the kitchen to refill Eddie’s bowl of water for the night, before returning to the living room. “Let’s go get you packed and ready, and then I’m going to turn in for the night. If I’m to deal with you and Grace at that hour in the morning, God knows I’m in need of a good night’s sleep.” He rolled his eyes, calling Eddie after him as he turned back to the stairs, Danny turning off the TV and the lights as he followed suit. 

Danny was convinced, by the end of his packing, that he had not at all packed everything he needed, but at the same time, he was convinced Steve hadn’t packed what he needed to survive the Jersey snow, so maybe he didn’t stress too much about having to possibly go to the mall during their stay. Zipping his bag closed, he was about to head for the shower when Steve wrapped a strong arm around him, tugging him to the bed instead. “Steve, I should really-,”

“Save the shower for when we wake up, please.” Steve murmured sleepily against the side of his head, his stubbled chin giving Danny’s cheek a bristly nuzzle as they settled underneath the sheets of the bed. “You’ll wake up more if you shower in the morning.” He tried once more to squirm out of Steve’s embrace, but unlike the hold he had kept on Charlie earlier, Steve was adamant about keeping the detective right there, in bed. “Turn your brain off, Daniel, and sleep, please.” Steve huffed, pressing his lips to Danny’s ear, and by some miracle, Danny fell asleep. 

As predicted, he was grumpy when the alarm clock rang at 3 am, their (correction: Steve’s) clock being set an hour before the kids’, so the Navy SEAL had the time to go for his morning swim, a jog with Eddie, and to take a shower before he tended to Charlie and Grace. The thing was, even though Steve pressed gentle kisses to his head, attempting to soothe him back to sleep, Danny wasn’t able to, and found himself ambling down to the kitchen, where he made coffee – one for himself, perfectly balanced between the far-too-strong coffee and milk, and one for Steve, with the spoonful of grass-fed butter that he for some reason had to have a cup of in the morning. 

Charlie was, like predicted, awake and happy long before anyone had the chance to wake him, and Grace was a lot more like her father; tired and grumpy. However, even ten minutes before Danny had planned, they were bunched together in the car, on their way to drop Eddie off at Tani’s (Danny had to remind Steve that they needed to return the favour in some grand gesture as they returned from Jersey, after all she had voluntarily gotten up early to greet them and make sure Eddie settled in at her place before work). The next few hours were more of a haze, sleepily making their way through security, making sure all four of them ate breakfast, and the flight itself was spent huddling together and sleeping (for Danny and Steve), watching a movie (for Charlie, who had wrapped himself in a blanket on Steve’s lap, watching a cartoon on the in-seat screen, until he fell asleep during the last hour of the flight), and texting friends (for Grace).

The first thing they noticed as they reached Newark, was the chillier temperature, and Danny’s shivering told him he had gotten a lot more used to the Hawaiian warmth than he would like to admit. He was hanging back and for some reason just watching as Steve loaded their luggage into the rental car, before helping a sleepy Charlie into the vehicle, he felt like the luckiest man alive. Grace was leaning against his side, head against his shoulder as they watched Steve, and for some odd reason, it all felt like a full circle kind of moment. He wasn’t sure he would even be here right now, at the Newark Airport, with his two children and Steve, about to get into a rental car as they would be heading to Danny’s family. 

Almost as if she knew something was going on inside his head, Grace turned slightly, poking and prodding at Danny’s ribs, her jabs a lot harder than they would have to be back in Hawaii, as they now had to push through his down jacket. “Just marry him already, will you?” She groaned, timing it almost perfectly to the moment when Steve turned, leaning slightly back against the car with that ridiculous and goofy grin spread on his lips (the grin that Danny absolutely loved, and had come to realise was a grin reserved for him and the kids only). “He’s been used as a pillow by Charlie, and has been carrying around halfway sleeping and drooling Charlie since we got off the plane. Do you really need an eccentric kind of proposal or whatever after that?”

She didn’t give him the chance to answer, though, pushing away from him as she headed for the car. Chuckling, Danny gathered his energy and followed her, though instead of getting into the car, he wrapped himself around Steve’s torso, fingers in the belt loops of his jeans and head against his chest as he hummed contentedly. The smooth surface of the Navy SEAL’s down jacket was cold to touch, and in a weird way it jolted Danny’s energy levels a little, waking him up in time to notice that Steve was pressing the car keys into his hands. “Wait, you don’t want to-,”

“This is your home-turf, Danny.” Steve grinned, patting gently against Danny’s hands, which were now wrapped around the cold metal of the keys. “If you wish for me to give off the gentleman impression for your parents, however, we can pull over and swap places as we near their house.”

“If we’re going to do that, we might as well also put you in a jacket where the shoulder isn’t stained with Charlie’s drool.” Danny rolled his eyes, not failing to notice how the grin on Steve’s lips widened even more. Lowering his head slightly, Steve pressed a kiss to the corner of Danny’s mouth, warm breath ghosting over his lips, before moving himself out from his spot between Danny and the car. There was undoubtedly something odd about seeing Steve, the man who claimed to get motion sickness whenever he didn’t sit behind the wheel himself, get into the passenger seat – but maybe it was just Steve’s way of telling Danny that he trusted him with his heart, body and soul (and health). 

He was about to open the door to the driver’s seat when his phone buzzed, presumably with another text message from his mother, and quite like the last 47 messages he had received from her, this was laced with worry about how to make sure the house was properly prepared to greet Steve. At this point he was sure that if he told them Steve needed a full home gym to work out, they would have torn out everything in the basement and made just that for him. This one, however, was from Bridget, telling him that she hoped they were prepared for snow, because they sure as hell had chosen to visit New Jersey right around the time for the craziest snow fall of the year.

With fingers going numb from the cold, he ducked into the car, delighted to see that Steve had managed to wake Charlie, well aware it would be hopeless to put the boy down to sleep when it was bedtime if his nap continued long into the afternoon. However, Danny was surprised to see that, in order to keep Charlie awake, Steve had willingly given up his phone, sheepishly grinning at Danny as he realised the device had several of Charlie’s favoured games downloaded, making him just a little too well prepared for moments like this. “I know you kids were hoping to get a few things done over our days here, but I want you all to be aware that the forecast says it’s going to snow – a lot.” Danny turned, glancing between his kids, though seeing none of them were paying attention – Charlie in the middle of a very important round of what appeared to be Angry Birds, and Grace had her headphones tucked neatly over her ears, scrolling mindlessly on her phone. “Alright, lively audience we have in the back here.”

Steve chuckled, shifting slightly in his seat. “They’re tired, Danny. So are you, so am I. We’ve been awake since far too early, and we still have a few more hours until it’s reasonable for us to succumb to our tiredness.” He shrugged slightly, reaching across to place a hand on Danny’s thigh, giving it a light squeeze, just like he would do whenever he was behind the steering wheel. “Now, I don’t know if this whole place holds something of a meaningful memory for you, but I’m sure there are other parts of Jersey you’d rather show me than the airport, right?”

His tone was teasing, and his touch was warm, and alright, Danny found himself agreeing, because the neighbourhood where he grew up was a whole lot nicer than the Newark Airport, and with the rate of his mother’s preparations, he should probably make sure they got to the comfort of Danny’s childhood home. The drive seemed longer than Danny could remember, and it could be because he had Steve in the passenger seat, the Navy SEAL being completely quiet, though Danny could tell he had entered the same type of focus he did when they were on a stakeout, possibly to make sure he didn’t fall asleep. Danny found his hand, still resting against his thigh, and tangled their fingers together, giving the larger hand a gentle squeeze. 

Steve grinned at that, and though it wasn’t the most practical considering Danny was driving (he was grateful that Steve had rented a car with automatic transmission), their hands remained linked until Danny pulled onto the street where his parents were residing. Even then, it wasn’t he who pulled away from the touch, as much as it was Steve, who turned slightly in his seat to make sure the kids in the back were awake, Charlie returning the mobile device to his hand with a muffled statement that he should probably charge it. “You’ve really done it now, babe – letting him know you’ve got those games on there.”

“I don’t mind.” Steve shrugged, pocketing his phone as Danny pulled into the driveway, parking the rental car behind his dad’s sedan.

There was a thin layer of snow on the ground, maybe a warning sign of what was to come, though Danny only revelled in the sound of snow, gravel and ice crunching underneath his boots as he got out of the car. Based on Steve’s expression, it wasn’t a sound he had heard in a very long time, an expression that in turn had Danny stifling a laugh. “If this amuses you, I should only hope we get a proper snowfall tomorrow. Charlie won’t let you be inside for one second, I know that much.” He grinned, moving around the car to retrieve their luggage from the trunk as Grace made her way to the front door, and Steve got Charlie out of the car. 

With one arm supporting Charlie, who clung to Steve like his life depended on it (he had taken to doing that with Steve, and it didn’t seem like either one of them minded – Danny knew he certainly didn’t mind), Steve cheekily snuck an arm around Danny’s torso, covering his move as he picked a bag from the trunk and placed a kiss to his cheek. “Maybe I don’t mind being outside with Charlie all day, have you thought about that?”

No, he hadn’t – but then again, Danny shouldn’t be surprised about the thought either. Steve, though being an adult, nearing his 42nd birthday, was a lot like a child, and without psychoanalysing him, Danny was well aware that the answer for it all laid somewhere between his mother not being the most present, before she faked her death and his father had shipped him off to the mainland. Catching his breath, he found himself hanging back for a second as he watched Steve approach Clara and Eddie at the porch, easing Charlie into his grandma’s arms as the Navy SEAL himself was greeted with a hug and kiss on the cheek from Clara, and a firm handshake accompanied with a slap on the back from Eddie.

“Danny, will you be joining us today, or do you have other plans?” Clara called, arms wrapped tightly around the growing boy in her embrace, Eddie well into leading Steve inside, probably already chattering away about something only Steve could keep up with. 

“Take my son inside, will you? I’d prefer it if he didn’t get pneumonia because you keep him out here.” Danny rolled his eyes as he reached the porch, though his expression mellowed as Clara tugged him closer, and had him wrap his arms around them both, a move that caused Charlie to squirm. “I’ve missed you, ma.” 

“I’ve missed you too, Danny.” Clara hummed into their hug, pushing her son in front as they all headed inside. Grace had vanished, presumably to set up shop in a room that had previously belonged to one of Danny’s sisters. Steve had reached the living room, already engaged in listening to one of Eddie’s long monologues about the gratitude he had for men like Steve, who had served the country. “I was thinking maybe we could have lasagna for dinner, if you would want to help me?”

“Of course.” Danny chuckled, looking down at Charlie’s bag which stood at his feet. “Where do you want us?”

“I’ve got your old room for you, Matt’s old room for Charlie. I think Gracie ended up staying in Bridget’s old room, but that means Stella’s room is free if you, you know…” Clara trailed off, nodding slightly in the direction of Steve, and Danny couldn’t help but grin widely – it was sweet really, that she had made sure there was a way out of sharing a bed with Steve if Danny didn’t want to. Not that they would need to use that way out, of course. “I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“It’s alright, ma. We’ll share my old room.” Danny was still grinning as he toed off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, not failing to pick up on his mother’s about damn time, before approaching his dad. “Dad, please give him time to breathe, yeah?” He rolled his eyes slightly at Eddie’s wide grin, though returned the hug when the older Williams-man wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders. “He didn’t fly for ten hours so that you could be his biggest fanboy.” 

Steve grinned sheepishly, lifting a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. “It’s alright, Danny-,” he shrugged slightly, though his grin softened as Charlie came running, backpack in hand as he wanted to show his grandpa the latest additions to his group of action figures. It didn’t take a lot more for Eddie to almost seem as if he had forgotten Steve and his years of service, instead turning to the couch with his grandson. In turn, Steve turned fully to Danny, the smile still having the corners of his mouth turned upwards. “Besides, he was just promising me that he’d get around to telling me all the stories of how your former colleagues in the Jersey police had their fun with you while you were the boot of the squad.” 

Once again, Danny rolled his eyes, shifting his grip on Charlie’s bag, only then realising Steve was carrying both of theirs. “Might as well just take you down to the precinct, and you can get the stories from those responsible for it.” He brushed past Steve, though didn’t get far before he turned, making sure the Navy SEAL was following him – and was caught by surprise as Steve bumped into him, huffing out a sharp breath of air at the contact.

“You shouldn’t just abruptly stop walking.” 

Rolling his eyes (again), Danny continued walking, leading Steve down the hallway he had lots of fond childhood memories from – playing tag with Matt on summer days, where the whole house and the backyard was used as their personal running track, Bridget and Stella making creative obstacles as Danny would impress them with his skills of driving a remote controlled car (at least he thought they were impressed, but then again, with pre-teen girls he could never be a 100% sure). Steve stopped in his tracks at the door frame to Danny’s room, a goofy grin spreading on his lips as he placed his index finger to the height measurement that was last added, and that coincidentally also happened to be the very same height Danny still stood at. “You stopped growing at sixteen?”

“Shut up.” Danny huffed, furrowing his brows as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m sure you did too.”

“No, I shot up nearly four inches the summer after I turned nineteen.” Steve shrugged casually, stepping after Danny into the bedroom. It wasn’t anything of an impressive size, but it was cosy, and it soothed a part of Danny’s soul he hadn’t realised was acting up or being stressed. “Nice touch with the baseball-themed pillow cases.” The Navy SEAL stifled a chuckle as Danny’s cheeks flushed pink. “I won’t make fun of it, Danny, I promise, it’s just … I didn’t really have all of these things, you know? We’ve already established how different our childhoods were from each other.” 

Danny sighed a little, dropping Charlie’s bag to the floor, before wrapping himself around Steve’s torso – only this time, neither one of them had thick jackets to restrict their body heats from mixing. “If it becomes too overwhelming, or you need an out, you let me know. I have plenty of places we could go, and I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind looking out for the kids if you need a breather.”

“I’ll be fine.” Steve chuckled, bags dropped to the floor as his arms came around Danny, holding him close to his body. “Besides, with the snowfall I heard was coming, I don’t think it’s wise of us to go anywhere else – other than out in the snow with Charlie, that is.” 

He had half expected Danny to squirm in his embrace, wanting to head back down to his kids and his parents, but he remained firmly wrapped around Steve’s torso, relishing in the possibility of hugging without disturbances. However, as he did shimmy his way out of Steve’s embrace, with a large yawn, it was with a promise of a calm night in, and a chance of turning into bed early. While Danny made his way to the kitchen, adamant to kick his mother out of the room as he took full responsibility for dinner, Steve found himself back in the Williams’ living room, where Grace was on the phone with her niece (Steve assumed), and Charlie was still eagerly explaining the stories behind all of his action figures, some older ones, presumably ones that had belonged to Danny and Matt when they were kids, had been added to the mix as well.

“Who made the first move?” Clara asked after quite a while, having come to sit in the recliner after Danny successfully chased her out of the kitchen, her head tilted slightly as she studied Steve with that same look Danny got on his face whenever he would look at him. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“I, uh-,” Steve cleared his throat a little, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to think – because which one of them had made the first move? His trail of thoughts were cut off, however, as Charlie came crashing down on him, having long ago perfected the puppy eyes as he now was well aware of the games downloaded to Steve’s phone. “Buddy, not now, eh? It needs to be charged, and you’ve got your grandparents right here.” He ruffled the boy’s hair, half expecting him to return to his grandfather’s side, though was pleasantly surprised when Charlie settled in his lap with a couple of action figures in his hands. “I don’t quite remember, I think, who made the first move. After all these years, and everything we’ve been through, I think we just both kind of fell into it.” 

Clara didn’t respond right away, her eyes filling with admiration as she took in the sight of Steve and Charlie, her husband seeming to agree with her unspoken words as he quietly tidied together the toys on the couch. “He loves you.” She spoke after a while, nodding at Charlie, who was far too distracted with the mid-air explosions that apparently were happening right there in the living room. “Well, I think both the boys do, as well as Grace, but from what Danny’s told me, and from what I’ve seen in the short time since you arrived, he’s only like that with you.” 

In those few seconds it had taken her to say those words, Steve’s throat had seemed to close up, and he found himself saved by the bell - or Danny - as the detective emerged, shoo-ing everyone to the table to get ready for dinner, requesting for Steve to help him gather the food from the kitchen. It was a nice, simple dinner, done just like Danny had done it time and time again in their kitchen back in Hawaii; a simple lasagna with garlic bread and a salad, and just like when they ate it back home, it was the kids’ (and Steve’s, though don’t tell that to Danny, he would never stop gloating) favourite dish. It was an easy kind of setting, the kind of setting Steve hadn’t experienced a lot with his own family as a kid – the kind of setting that eased the weight of Clara’s words. He figured it must be something about the setting, or maybe the house (or maybe it was the New Jersey air?), but he found Clara to be a lot less in his face than she had been when she came to visit Danny in Hawaii. 

The rest of the evening was spent the same way; Steve helped Danny clear the table, enveloping himself around the shorter detective while they did the dishes, before they joined the rest of the family in the living room. This time it was Grace who chatted away, eagerly telling her grandparents about her quest to find the perfect college, and if Danny thought no one caught his grimace at the thought of his daughter growing up, he would have to think again. Charlie had managed to come down from his post-dinner-energy-high, and found himself crashing in Steve’s lap again, sock-clad feet kicked up in Danny’s lap – to at least have some sort of contact with his father as well.

“We should come visit you all in Hawaii soon.” Eddie suggested, immediately having his wife’s eager nodding as a support of his words. “I mean, I haven’t been in a few years, and from what I recall, it’s a wonderful place all year round. Besides, Danny’s mentioned you have a pretty Merc in your garage, Steve?”

Steve flashed a crooked grin. “Yessir. It was my dad’s originally. We would work on it together when I was a kid, and after he passed, I took it upon myself to get her back on the road. It’s been with mixed success, but she’s more or less up and running now.”

“No need to call me sir, Steve.” Eddie chuckled. “You’re family, that means I’m Eddie to you.”

At this, Charlie lit up. “Eddie as in our dog?” 

Steve grinned, picking up on the soft chuckle that passed Danny’s lips from beside him. “Almost, buddy.” Danny placed a palm against Charlie’s leg. “Maybe we have to figure out a new nickname-solution there if grandma and grandpa comes to visit?” He suggested further, the eager nodding from his son telling him he had already started the search for a nickname suited for the golden-coloured Labrador back on Oahu.

“So, you have a dog now and everything?” Clara raised her eyebrows, seemingly surprised at the admission of their canine friend. “I thought I could quite vividly remember that you wouldn’t be interested in getting another pet unless you were married, Danny.”

Danny stilled at his mother’s comment, a comment that had also whipped Grace’s attention into action, the teenager staring wide-eyed at her father from the recliner next to Clara. “Actually, Eddie and I were kind of a package deal.” Steve cleared his throat, pressing his elbow gently against Danny’s arm, a weak attempt at grounding him, soothing his nerves. “I was supposed to be a temporary home for Eddie, but he and I have a special bond, and I couldn’t let him leave. So, Danny brought his two kids walking on two legs into the relationship, and I guess you could say I brought my four-legged kid.” If Clara didn’t seem convinced, she had done a good job at schooling her expression, but at his side, Danny had resumed breathing normally, and that was a lot more important to Steve than having to explain any further on why he ended up adopting a dog who had previously worked with the Marines and the DEA. 

They sat a while longer, conversation easing into something everyone could participate in, until Charlie started stifling yawns against Steve’s shirt, the Navy SEAL chuckling as he shifted the way his arms were wrapped around him. “Maybe we should get you ready for bed, huh? You’ve got to rest up if all this snow is coming, I’m gonna need you to teach me how to build a snowman.” 

“We should let you all turn in for the night.” Eddie was quick to speak, sending his son a short, acknowledging nod as Danny looked at him. “You’ve been travelling since early morning, and as Steve pointed out, there’s going to be quite the snowfall tomorrow. Can’t have anyone falling asleep out there, can we?”

A string of hugs and good nights were shared, Clara and Eddie taking it upon themselves to turn off lights and make sure everything was closed and locked correctly. Upon reaching the row of bedrooms, Danny carefully picked Charlie out of Steve’s arms, mumbling something about him being able to walk fine (which only caused Steve to grin widely in response), before the three of them bunched together in one bathroom to brush teeth and get ready, and if any of them were jealous of Grace who had the bathroom belonging to Stella and Bridget’s old rooms all to herself, well, neither one of them said anything.

Danny took it upon himself to tell Charlie a bedtime story that night, meanwhile Steve paid a visit to Grace, who seemed comfortably at home in her aunt’s room. Pressing a kiss to her head, followed by a mumbled sleep tight, he reunited with Danny in the hallway. “Charlie didn’t want your stories?”

“Never got around to asking, he fell asleep before I was one third into the story I started telling him.” Danny shrugged slightly, a step or two in front of Steve as they moved back to the detective’s old bedroom, quietly changing to their pyjamas, which more or less consisted of Steve’s t-shirts (Danny found he was a lot more comfortable sleeping in Steve’s larger, more loose fitting t-shirts, than his own rather tight ones) and plaid pyjamas pants. “You know, it’s a good thing you’re a snuggler when we sleep, because I had forgotten that this bed was smaller than a double.” 

Steve scoffed, though allowed for Danny to settle against him under the covers of the bed, a contented hum escaping the detective. “You know, the one thing that really benefits me by enjoying cuddles is the fact that I can definitely turn you over and use you as a shield if Charlie decides to do a cannon-ball onto the bed in the morning.” His tone was warm, teasing even, as he wrapped his arms tighter around Danny, the detective sleepily mumbling a response of something against Steve’s shoulder. “Alright, good night, Danno.” 

They slept soundly most of the night, only waking once to the sound of a plough truck clearing the roads of snow outside, having them mumble incoherent sentences about having to spend some time outside with Charlie, before falling asleep again – and then they didn’t wake until Charlie had, in fact, climbed into their bed, sprawling across them with a goofy grin on his lips. “Good morning.” He giggled, before climbing fully onto Danny’s body, allowing Steve’s eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness of the winter sky that was pushing through the curtains. Danny, on the other hand, simply groaned into his pillow, an arm around Charlie’s chest as he tucked the boy into the tight space between himself and Steve, much to the squirming boy’s delight. “No, let me go, Danno, I want to eat breakfast and go outside.” Danny, still with his eyes closed and face halfway buried into the pillow, loosened his grip on Charlie, who immediately squirmed out of the embrace and turned to Steve. “Will you come with me?”

“Yeah, buddy, come on.” Steve chuckled, waiting until Charlie was halfway into the living room before he quickly changed from his pyjamas, and left the bedroom. “Good morning, Clara.” He smiled as he entered the kitchen, having already figured from the smell that she had started making a classic Williams’ tradition, with pancakes for breakfast. Charlie had been lifted to sit on the counter, in a safe distance from the stove, with a glass of orange juice.”

“Good morning, Steve.” She almost chirped happily as a response, though didn’t take her eyes off the fluffy-looking pancake she was cooking. “I hope you’ve slept well, and that the snow plough didn’t wake you too badly. They aren’t always so considerate of the time they decide to make their way through this neighbourhood when the snow’s falling like it is now.” Clara sighed, flipping the pancake before she turned towards the Navy SEAL. “I’ve set out cups for coffee, both for you and for Danny.”

Steve smiled widely, reaching over to ruffle Charlie’s hair, being caught by surprise as Clara wrapped an arm around his torso, pulling him in for a halfway hug. “Thank you, Clara.” He hummed, sneaking an arm around her shoulders to give her a light squeeze, before turning back to the coffee boiler, pouring himself and Danny a cup each of the slightly burnt coffee, made with some local blend (if the bag of coffee ground neatly positioned near the coffee boiler was anything to go by). “I’ll just bring this to Danny. I’ll be back to help with whatever you need soon.”

“Prepare yourself to go outside quite soon after breakfast.” Clara spoke up before he had even had the chance to leave the kitchen, ceramic of the cup warm against his hand as he turned to look at her, evidently curious about what she meant. “Charlie’s been telling me of how he wants to go outside as soon as possible after breakfast, but he’s also adamant of not bringing my husband out. Apparently you’re the only star shining in his sky.”

Steve had half expected her words to come laced with something annoyed, something hurt even, as they were there, with them, Charlie’s grandparents – yet the young boy wanted to include Steve in his every move - but it was nothing of the sort. Maybe it was Danny’s way of making sure Steve didn’t get too overwhelmed by the visit, by the sudden exposure to a family that was a lot closer than the one Steve had grown up with. Chuckling lightly as he saw Charlie’s grin, from where the boy was looking at him over Clara’s shoulder, Steve found himself nodding. “Alright, well, it’s a good thing I brought warm clothes then.” 

He handed Danny’s coffee to him with a stubbled kiss to the temple, quickly changing into something he knew from Navy-experience would keep him warm during an outing in the snow. Danny, on the other hand, decided to hang back when Steve made his way back to the kitchen, quickly being ushered out and ordered to sit down by the dining room table with Charlie, where the two of them, alongside Grace and Danny, who at some point had figured it was time for him to drag himself out of bed, the coffee cup still glued to his hands, were served impressive stacks of fluffy-looking pancakes. 

“Try not to eat like an animal, please, Steven.” Danny rolled his eyes, though his tone was teasing as he reached out to kick his shin underneath the table. The comment, unheard by Clara (who was in the kitchen again, refilling her own cup of coffee before joining them) and Eddie (who was out ploughing snow in the house’s driveway), only made Steve grin, as Charlie looked between them, a curious look spread on his face. “Don’t worry, Charlie, I’ll tell you later why we call Steve an animal.”

Though still looking between them, the five year old seemed content with the answer, turning back to his mission of devouring his pancakes – and it had Steve wondering if maybe it was Charlie who was the animal when all came down to it. Yet, neither one of them commented on it, instead turning to their own food. Grace kept the conversation going with Clara once she returned to the table, their chatter consisting mostly of things that caused Danny to panic on a good day (college applications, boyfriends, plans for university, if she was ever going to move back to New Jersey), yet in this setting, his legs tangled with Steve’s underneath the table, gaze locked on Charlie who was happily munching away on his syrup drowned pancakes, and with Grace right there at his side, it didn’t even seem as if he noticed her words.

Not surprisingly, Steve and Charlie were the ones who finished their breakfast first, gratefully thanking Clara for the food, before getting ready to head outside. Danny simply chuckled, lifting the coffee cup to his lips as his mother turned to look at him, a cheeky smile spreading on her lips. “You’ve got yourself a third kid there.”

“Tell me about it.” Danny rolled his eyes, sipping his coffee. “They’ve both got a lot of joy in each other’s company, though. I know there was a time where Rachel absolutely hated the idea of Steve being such a big part of Charlie’s life, but now … well, if she still has something against it, she’s doing a good job at keeping her mouth shut.”

“If she sees how happy her son is, she’ll know to keep her thoughts to herself.” Clara simply shrugged, sipping her own coffee. Grace, with her blessed sixth sense (or whatever it was), excused herself from the table with a kiss to her grandmother’s cheek, and hurried off to the room she had been sleeping in. “The way he is with you, with the kids, it’s unlike anything I ever saw from your ex-wife. The way Charlie turns to him? I hope you treasure that, Danny. If anything, I hope it helps you realise that you have nothing to worry about in a relationship with him.” She smiled, trailing off as Charlie poked his head into the dining room, a large and toothy grin flashed in their direction as he announced they would be going outside to make snowmen. “You should teach Steve the secret Williams’ snowman trick, Charlie.” Clara winked at her grandson, receiving an eager nod in response, before he hurried back to the hall, the sound of his and Steve’s laughter mixing as it grew fainter, vanishing behind the sound of the front door shutting. “I hope you see as clearly as the rest of us that he’s not just in it for you, he’s in it for the whole package. You, the kids, the family – he wants it all.”

“Yeah, we’ve talked about it, the whole thing.” Danny leaned back against the hard, wooden chair, not failing to notice the cracking sound of the chair’s back. “Sometime after we admitted it all, and I’d been staying at the house and Charlie had been situated in the room that’s now his, and Steve just kind of blurted it out over a beer on the lanai.” 

“Romantic.” Clara chuckled. 

“I don’t know, I still think he was way beyond tipsy at the point of the admission, but somehow he didn’t back down from his words the following morning, when he had gotten up early with Charlie and I found them watching cartoons in the living room.” Danny smiled, once again lifting his cup to his lips, sighing slightly into the sip of coffee. “You know, the idea of bringing him here for this visit, it was all Charlie and Gracie?”

Clara hummed, the amusement evident on her face. “I’m not surprised. They’re crazy about him, both of them.” She glanced in the direction of the hall as the front door opened, the sound of someone shuffling inside catching their attention. “Not that you need to worry, he’s crazy about them too, and I’d say he’s crazy about you.”

Eddie made his presence known with a chuckle, his cheeks flushed red from the cold, accompanied with a wide smile and a slight sniffle. “Are you talking about the two who’re having the time of their lives out there? With the rate they’re going at, either one of you should head out with something warm to drink for them, and probably dry mittens for Charlie.” 

Danny smiled a little as he leaned forward again, swallowing the last mouthful of his coffee, before getting up. “I’ll head out and make sure they’re alright. Maybe you would like to make your hot chocolate, mom?” He flashed a grin in Clara’s direction, a smile that turned almost giddy when she nodded (it wasn’t like living in Hawaii gave him a lot of chances to drink hot chocolate, when the rest of the island was already ridiculously hot as it was). He stopped by Grace on his way to find a sweater, chuckling to himself at the sight of his daughter sprawled on the bed, happily chatting away with her cousins as they planned what to do when the rest of the Williams-family would drop by. Danny hoped Steve wouldn’t feel overwhelmed at the thought of the family gathering – not that they were all unfamiliar faces. He had met Bridget before, albeit briefly, and the two had seemed to hit it off, and while he hadn’t met Stella, Danny was quite certain she would like Steve – and the other way around.

The air was sharp as Danny stepped out to the porch, the remains of snow that had fallen off shoe soles and been brushed off jackets and pants giving the darkened deck a bright and decorative pattern. Steve had seemed to tap into a Navy-like behaviour, chirping out “yessir!” whenever Charlie asked him to do something, whether it be fetching a new snowball or digging up gravel to make sure they had what they needed to make the snowman’s face. Above them, snowflakes were still falling at a rapid speed from the sky, the small white spots a stark contrast to Steve’s dark hair (because of course he wasn’t wearing a hat). 

“Danno, are you going to come help us?” Charlie cheered as he spotted his father on the porch. However, at the sight of his father’s shake of the head, the five year old huffed, before turning back to the pile of snow he was actively digging in, seemingly unbothered by the cold. What he hadn’t expected, though, was for his father to hover over the pile when he looked back up, a wide grin on his lips and the dry mittens in his hands. 

“Grandpa told me you might have some cold hands out here?” Danny raised an eyebrow slightly, stifling a chuckle at the sight of his son’s goofy grin, and Danny wasn’t going to lie – he wasn’t very impressed when Charlie tugged his mittens off, wrists red from where the snow had been layering against his skin underneath the sleeve of his jacket, hands freezing cold from having dug around in the snow. “Okay, let’s get these on, and if you can allow your hands to warm up just a little without being underneath the snow, you can get a cup of hot chocolate, yeah?”

“Okay, Danno.” Charlie grinned, carefully tucked the sleeve of his jacket over the hem of the mittens, before running off to sit at the steps of the porch while he waited for Clara to appear.

Steve, on the other hand, wrapped himself around Danny in a matter both of them had come to realise they enjoyed, stubble scraping against his ear, and a freezing cold nose pressing against his temple. “You were right, you know, there is something special about a Jersey winter.” He chuckled, the feeling of his rumble against Danny’s back sending some sort of warmth through his body. “Besides, the snowfall … it’s nice.” Steve added, extending a gloved hand to catch some of the snowflakes. “Maybe we should bring Charlie to Mauna Kea at some point. It’s not Jersey, but it’s the best Hawaii’s got when it comes to snow. He’s already a stellar surfer, he’d be an amazing snowboarder as well.” 

Danny simply chuckled, turning them to face the porch as Clara emerged in the doorway, bringing hot chocolate for them all, Charlie already fully engaged in telling his grandmother all about the snowman they were currently building. “I’d prefer for him to be a little older than five before we take him to a volcanic mountain.” He rolled his eyes, though a grin was still tugging on the corners of his lips as Steve nuzzled closer again, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Danny’s head. Reaching down, he snuck a hand into one of Steve’s gloved ones, and squirmed out of the tight embrace before he tugged Steve along. “Come on, let’s get you warmed up with a hot chocolate.”

[kaihoku]

V24 HELLO, GOODBYE – February, 1999

[meet-->met-->met] I believe meetings and encounters come in all shapes and sizes. And when these experiences happen in an organic and natural way, I think what we say to each other in parting changes accordingly. My favorite way of saying goodbye is “See you again.”

~*~

Imagine waking up, taking a shower and then opening up the curtains to be greeted by a pod of about 30 dolphins jumping and frolicking in the waves. That was the sort of nature untouched by man that I got to experience when I went to Maui Island in Hawaii for a magazine interview.  The island dwellers there are completely different from anyone else I've met. I guess there’s no better word to describe them than “mellow,” which a lot of them are. The word “mellow” itself means exactly as it sounds. They don't seem to stress themselves out much and tend to simply go with the flow. Just being able to meet people like that makes going to Maui a beyond worthwhile experience.

Surfing at a Maui beach, I would occasionally come across this famous old surfer. He’d make small inane talk like, “Great weather today, huh?” or “Didja see that whale comin’ up back there?” and we’d take pictures after coming out from the sea. The whole exchange would take maybe around 10 minutes, after which we’d part ways with a simple, “See ya ‘round.” That was it. The old timer would then jump into his car and drive off. Watching him as he disappeared from view, I’d think to myself, “I could get used to this.”

Maybe when meetings happen naturally, the parting also feel natural. Like, when we casually part ways, there’s a notion that we could just as casually meet again. Imagine how awkward it‘d be if we made a big deal out of parting ways only to bump into one another almost immediately in the same train or something.

I never felt sad even when I graduated or when I moved out to live on my own. During high school graduation, my head was full of thoughts on what to do next. The concept of parting ways honestly didn’t occur to me until I saw some girls crying about it. And well, it’s cute when girls cry about things like this. Even though we shared the same classroom for a while, it wasn’t like we ever had a single meaningful conversation so I’d go up to some of them and ask them what they’re crying for.

I'm always thinking about what comes next so, if anything, I think of it as something to look forward to when it comes time to part ways. And I think that’s because the changes that happen are all ones I’d have picked anyway.

Truth be told, I neither prefer nor agree with the term “parting,” because I believe that from the moment people meet, even if it’s just the one time and no matter how short the encounter, they are connected one way or another for life. Even when it comes to romantic relationships, even if I were to break up with the other person, I don’t want to think that’s the end of everything between us. If staying friends isn’t an option, then I’d like for there to be something still. Something new that doesn’t need to be defined.

After graduating, when I could no longer use semester to separate time, I started to book end them by the run of a drama series’ run or by the start and the wrap-up of the work that I do. Being able to meet a ton of people, there are of course going to be people with whom I merely pass by. But among all these people, there are some who may only know me as “Kimutaku” at first but see me as “Takuya Kimura” after they’ve gotten to know me.

They’d say, “Hm, you’re a lot easier to talk to then I thought you’d be,” or “You’re just a regular dude!” And we’d become friends. When that happens, it always feels like when I change out of a costume. And even for friends, I prefer not to define them separately by identifying whom I can consider as a true friend and whatnot. Whether they be a close friend or simply an acquaintance, I’m not particular. I believe it’s only natural to want to spend time with people whom we feel we can have a good time with at any particular time without the need to rank them in order of closeness.

I know it’s pretty out of character for me but I recently started using the computer.  Just a short while ago, I had thought it‘d probably be something I’d never become acquainted with. Hide, who just got transferred to play for a team in Italy, was bugging me about keeping in touch via e-mail so in order to dissuade him of the idea, I jokingly said to him, “But I don’t own a computer. Yanno, since my birthday’s right around the corner, how about you gift me one? I’ll e-mail you as much as you want then.” And, well, he did just that. He’s even got it all configured and set up nicely.

Not leaving me with much of a choice, I flew to start fulfilling my part of the bargain and managed to send him my first e-mail somehow. The next day his reply came: “See? You can do it if you try.”  It’s always nice when someone tells us we can do it, or that we did it. This part of me didn’t change at all from when I was a little pre-school going kid.

I then wasted no time in sending e-mails to the friends I made in Maui, all the while feeling like I’ve got to be one of the most blessed people on earth when it comes to meeting people.

-jimbocho-

[eyesaremosaics]

This air of desperation in the city, is thick as teeming fog. Everything feels disjointed. Misplaced. All this incessant rain, washing away the grime and the glow.

Lately I am feeling frightened. Strange how little I valued my life… even just a few years ago. Now I cling to it savagely. Finding oneself wanting to live, has been a strange and frightening concept for me these last couple of years. I forget that I have a lot of trauma until something triggers it. Today, some guy was stalking the kids and I.

At first I thought I was imagining it. A man walked in and stared me straight in the eyes for a long moment. The expression on his face—gave me chills, and set me instantly on edge. It was not a friendly glance. This was an intense, unblinking stare. A sort of “I’m watching you” kind of stare. I turned away from his gaze, and tried to focus on playing mini golf with the kids. He kept following us, going out and coming back in again. Each time staring directly at me. Even the children I was with noticed this and pointed it out to me. “He’s definitely looking at you.” She said.

For over an hour this guy was staring at us, and they eventually told him to leave, but then he just stood right outside the door and stared directly at us. I became so uncomfortable, I had to tell one of the cashiers to please call security. I didn’t feel comfortable walking back to the car alone with the kids, in the dark.

When security got there, they said they had noticed him hanging around by himself. And when we walked out, he was standing right there waiting for the kids and I to leave. It was an awkward moment where we all stared. First he stared directly at me, then his eyes moved to the security guard. They made eye contact, after which he gave the security guard a little nod. After that he walked away, and left the area entirely.

I know in my gut he was waiting for me to come out with the kids, and he was going to try something. I don’t know what, but the stare…didn’t feel good. It was an eerie feeling. My spidey senses were set off almost immediately. He was all by himself, drinking and smoking constantly. He ordered 4 beers in an hour.

Is this just trauma from the assault bleeding through? Was I imagining it? But… no…The kids pointed it out too…and so did the security guards. Why does this stuff always happen to me? I feel like I’m a magnet for the criminally insane or at least severely disturbed men.

After all my horribly unhealthy relationships with men over the years…plus the childhood trauma…matched with the assault in Hawaii—I think my brain is legitimately fried, and my nerves are shot.

Nobody talks about this. Survivors are silenced by the shame they feel in sharing their stories with others. They feel that their vulnerability is a weakness. The horror of their experience… makes others uncomfortable. So they refute it. They can’t hold space for it. They repress, and deny.

Today I spoke with the prosecutor in Hawaii, looks like 20 years is what he will get for attempting to murder me. He will be very old by the time he gets out. It’s a hollow victory. Part of me wants to wash my hands of this. Part of me wants to go to trial. Sadly, this is the best guarantee I have of him going away for most of his life. With trial, he may get a lesser sentence. I know he would hurt other women if he was back on the street. No question. I couldn’t live with myself if I did nothing to ensure he was behind bars as long as possible. However.. the justice system is so broken in this country. Justice is never fully served in all the cases I’ve studied. No one really wins. It’s a dark matter. With dark, coagulated details.

I know I didn’t imagine what happened today. It was confirmed by everyone around me. Something wasn’t right. Better to be safe than sorry.

I just keep reflecting on all the scary instances I’ve had in my life….All the stalkers I’ve had… always weirded me out. Like—why? I felt like a nobody most of my life. Perhaps it was because I was unapologetically weird. Not caring what people think—is a great power. Weird attracts weird, but there is good kind of weird—and scary kind of weird. I tend to attract the latter.

How many women have this shared experience? So many I imagine. It would comfort me to hear some of your stories. How did you deal with these situations?

[officialleehadan]

At Dinner

Hello darlings! Today’s story was brought to you by Jennifer, who is Level 35 and got to pick TWO Prompts for Prompt Month. Darling, thank you so much for your support!

Prompt: HGE – Riptide

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Evan turned in time to see Eione slip through the door with a net bag full of shellfish in her hand. Her hair was wet. She must have just come in from fishing.

Anita just gave her friend an easy smile and took the proffered bag. With a sharp knife and steady hands she neatly dispatched the spiny red-and-white lobsters and dropped them into the waiting pot.

“Nice catch.” Evan told Eione. “Free-diving?”

“Yes,” Eione replied, shy but proud. The fish were already cleaned, and ready for the pot, so Anita filleted them separately and dropped the white meat into the pot in large chunks. “I fish with a spear most of the time. Not to relaxing as with a rod, I admit, but more fun.”

Evan watched with interest as Anita snapped the ends off the conch shells with a hammer and cleaned them before dumping them into the pot of water with the lobsters. The shells she set into a bucket to go outside later.

Eione reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long?”

“Not long at all,” he assured her cheerfully. “We were just chatting about places we’ve been in the world. I spent some time in Hawaii not long ago.”

“I was born in Hawaii.” Eione nodded and came over to sit at the counter next to him. Evan slid over to give her room, but was pleased when she didn’t take it “We moved here when I was eleven.”

Anita gave the girl an odd questioning sort of look, and Evan filed it away to think about later. A mention of a move shouldn’t get such surprise. “Why did you move?”

“My grandmother and cousin live here and Hawaii was getting crowded,” Eione explained, either unaware or ignoring her friend’s reaction. “Mother wanted my sister and me to grow up where we had space to grow.”

She didn’t seem to talk like her family was still in the picture and she had never mentioned a father. It added up to the uncomfortable realization that something had probably happened to them. He wasn’t getting the feeling that they were the type to just go off somewhere and left her behind.

“Hawaii’s nice. Especially for fish documentaries.” he said, hoping to distract her from whatever put that sad expression on her face. “Not generally my kind of diving. I like wrecks and caves. I’m weird that way.”

“Have you ever been to Bermuda?” Eione asked him as her eyes lit up, frown lost in the memory of the ocean. “We went a few winters ago. I’ve never seen such amazing wrecks.”

“I barely saw you that whole trip,” Anita contributed with a laugh. “Just getting you out of the water and into the boat when the sun was setting was all sorts of trouble. We never bothered to do dinner reservations and lunch was a lost cause.”

I’ve seen all the wrecks around here!” Eione protested, not bothered by her friend’s jokes. “And I even got you some souvenirs. You loved those coins I brought up.”

Evan joined the laughter. “I mostly work with archeologists these days and they usually send me down for fossils or artifacts. Some of the wrecks there are in great shape.”

Anita turned away from them and rummaged in the refrigerator until she came up with a large container of chopped and peeled tomatoes. She added them to the pot she had thrown everything else into and gave everything an enthusiastic stir.

“You would like the bits and bobs Eione found for me on that trip,” she commented with her back to them, adding more broth to the soup. “You might have seen them. They’re in a jar on the bookcase along with some of the other stuff she brings me. Of course, my favorites are the fresh lobsters for chowder.”

“I didn’t have to go far to find them either.” Eione told her, taking the subject change in stride. “I think I may move my hunting ground soon. Mine is getting a little sparse and I don’t want to hunt it clean.”

The older woman turned from the soup and reached under the counter to pull out a food processor.

“Might not be a bad idea to move. I would like it if you were hunting closer to home during storm season,” he commented as she chopped the conch into a couple big pieces and dropped them in. “Cover your ears..”

Eione obediently covered her ears so Anita could run the conch through her food processor, before it joined everything else in the pot.

Evan watched Anita clean the lobsters and chop the meat before dumping it into the soup pot. He had seen fish sellers have more trouble with the spiny lobsters. Anita hadn’t even bothered to let them cool.

“This will be done pretty soon,” she told them when she was done, and had turned to rinsing the dishes in the sink and putting them in the dishwasher for later. “Feel like eating outside on the patio? It’s nice out.”

“Who am I to argue with a lady?” Evan told Anita, watching Eione smile and look down out of the corner of his eye. “You’ve got a great view and the sun will be setting soon.”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Anita agreed. “Wrong side of the island to see it unfortunately but the west side was farther than I wanted to drive every day just to have a nice sunset view.”

Evan shrugged one shoulder. ”Makes sense to me. Anything I can help with?”

“You could open the wine.” Anita said with a quick smile. “I think we’ve got this part pretty well covered. Eione, would you pull down the wine glasses?”

”Sure,” Eione agreed as she finished slicing the bread before heading for a high cabinet.

She was not a tall woman. He grinned when she climbed onto a stool and then onto the counter. The long-stemmed glasses were on the top shelf and Eione pulled three of them down.

“I can take them.” Evan offered, holding his hands for the glasses. After a moment Eione passed them down before letting him help her down off the counter. “Okay?”

“Thank you.” She mumbled as she grabbed the basket of bread on her way past him. She looked a little embarrassed again and he hoped it wasn’t because of him.

Anita was snickering again and gave him a wink when he looked over at her. “Don’t worry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” she told him “She’s just not used to having a guy around who’s paying so much attention to her.”

“Got it. So…” Evan said slowly. “Would it be okay if I asked her out? On a date I mean.”

“Oh honey, you go right ahead.” Anita said with a wolfish grin. “She’s a grown woman and I’m not her mama. I don’t tell her who to date. It is sweet of you to ask though.”

She pulled the pot of soup off the table. “Oh, a word to the wise. Eione swims for a living. You might want to think of something else besides that for a date.”

It was good advice.

“I’ll do that,” he agreed, grabbing the wine and taking the bottle-opener she pulled out for him. “Any suggestions?”

“She loves the beach.”

“I’ll remember that.”

The cork came free with a pop and he carried the bottle out through the door and onto the patio. The evening breeze was starting to cool off. It was a nice change from the scorching hot days. Eione brushed past him going into the kitchen for the bowls and she flashed him a quick smile on the way. He smiled back and set the wine on the table before looking around.

The patio shared the view of the ocean. It was framed by tall coconut palms that swayed, heavy with fruit.  As promised the sun was setting behind the island, turning the clouds red orange against the darkening sky Anita set the soup on a large tile on the table and busied herself lighting a handful of torches scented with citronella.

“The bugs will be out soon,” she explained as Evan poured wine for them all. “You ain’t been bit till a Bahamian mosquito does it. I swear. They leave a bump the size of a golf ball.”

Evan laughed and moved out of Eione’s way when she came back with the bowls. He pulled her chair out for her when she went to sit. Anita joined them after she finished with the torches and she began ladling out the chowder.

“I made a lot. Eat up,” Anita ordered him, filling his bowl and reaching for Eione’s before her own. “We don’t stand on ceremony here.”

Evan laughed and passed around slices of the fragrant bread before tucking into the spiced chowder eagerly.

+++

HGE - Riptide:

Under Stone

White Sand Sky

The Hint of Answers

Drift to Home

Boats and Salt Wind

Eyes of the Ocean

Dinner Cruise

Water's Cares (Subscriber Only!)

Beneath Bahamian Waters

Gossip Surf (Subscriber Only!)

Diving Discussion

At Dinner (New!)

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MASTERLIST