#it's a bad day

[pajorko]

Iga lost and polwnt lost, solidarity ✌️

[oldfangirl81]

Avoidance is so much more my problem then straight denial.

Oh I fully acknowledge things becoming a problem. I'm still not going to deal with it. Yet. Someday when I'm forced to but only then.

I switched insurance in '20 to Medi-cal. I haven't had a psychiatrist since then. And only briefly 6 sessions with a therapist who I didn't click with. Here's the big help for my agoraphobia she gave maybe somebody else will find it more useful.

"Ships aren't built to stay in the harbor."

[crystalflygeo]

I need Li to comfort me rn

[altheterrible]

[catierambles]

yep

It was dark, the air dry and hot. Walter and Syverson looked around but they didn’t see anything, unsurprising as they couldn’t even see the hands in front of their face.

“Where the hell are we?” Syverson asked.

“I don’t know, but we have to find her. She’s in here somewhere.” Walter said, “Clark, you see anything?”

“Movement, monsters.” Clark said, focusing his vision.

“Monsters?” Syverson asked.

“Best way I can describe them.” Clark said. A flare was thrown between them, the light creating a halo and they grouped as the “monsters” flinched back, skirting the edges.

“‘Bout time you guys showed up.” They turned, seeing the man that had entered the light. He was tall, and muscular, with a bald head and shining silver eyes. “Keep to the light, they can’t hurt you if you do.”

“Who the hell are you?” Syverson asked.

“Name’s Riddick. You lookin’ for Cate?” They nodded. “Thought so. She’s hiding right now, but I know where.”

“Hiding from what?” Walter asked and Riddick moved his head at the creatures circling them.

“Them.” He said, “Come on, I’ll take you to her.”

“That flare ain’t gonna last forever.” Syverson said and they jumped as glowing cables appeared wrapped around them, Riddick snorting without humor.

“The mind provides.” He said, “She must really like you guys if you’re here and not out there in the light.” He snorted again as Walter pulled the slide back on his pistol, chambering a round and Syverson checked his rifle. “Those ain’t gonna do shit. Take one out, one just pops up in its place.” Clark’s eyes flared red and there was a screech of pain, but the creature just got back up again, the wounds closing. “Told you. Been fightin’ these things going on…twenty years now? You learn the rules quickly enough.”

“Twenty years?” Syverson asked and Riddick nodded.

“That’s only as long as I’ve been here.” He said, “They didn’t have a form before that, but when I came in, they got one. Gave her something to focus on, not that it does much good, mind you. Let’s get moving.” They set off into the darkness, Riddick guiding the way but whispers pressed in on them from all sides.

Stupid

Worthless

Not good enough

“You’re the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Why do you think you deserve it?”

Better off alone

Everyone will leave you

No one will ever love you

“You might as well kill yourself, no one will miss you.”

“The fuck?” Syverson asked.

“It’s them.” Riddick said, “They say this shit every day. Some days it’s whispered, others they yell it.”

“Every day?” Walter asked and he nodded. “There should be more of us.”

“They’ll make it here eventually.” Riddick shrugged, “Maybe.”

“Question,” Syverson started, “How do we stop it?”

“There’s a ship.” Riddick said, “She gets to it, we leave, and it’ll stop. I’ve never been able to get her to it, maybe you guys will have better luck.”

“Let’s just find her first.” Clark said and they kept moving forward, keeping an eye on the creatures moving just out of sight. They entered a canyon and they could see them skirting the edges, looking down at them, their claws digging into the rocks. Riddick stopped, gripping a large boulder and he shifted it aside, revealing a small cave in the rock face, glowing blue light coming from within.

“Hey, kiddo.” Riddick said gently and they pressed in close to him. They saw her then, but she was younger, only a child, with riotous red curls, wearing a nightgown. “I brought friends of yours.” She looked at them over his shoulder, a wide smile pulling at her face. The smile fell and she clutched her head.

STUPID

PATHETIC

DELUSIONAL

“Don’t listen to them, sweetheart. We have you.” Walter said and Riddick stepped aside as she came out of the cave. She went up to Syverson and he picked her up in his arms, holding her tight on his hip as she buried her face in his shoulder, arms around his neck.

“We need to get her out of here.” He said and Riddick nodded.

“Ship is this way.” He said, “They’re going to get more aggressive the closer we get to it.”

“Why?” Syverson asked.

“They don’t want her to leave.” He said, “Hold onto her tight.” They moved off at a quick jog, running out of the canyon and across the landscape, the creatures pressing in on them tighter the further they got. They entered what used to be a settlement, the buildings empty and when they rounded a corner they could see the ship, the inside glowing with a warm, welcoming light. The creatures around them screeched as they approached it but just as they were about to get there, the ship stuttered, disappearing and reappearing farther away. “Fuck.”

“What’s going on?” Clark asked and Riddick sighed.

“Really hoped you guys would have been able to do it.” He said and she clung to Syverson tighter, but her form wavered and vanished like smoke.

“Cate?” He asked and Riddick gave him a sad look, shaking his head.

She curled up in the cave, holding her head in her hands and rocking back and forth slightly, hearing the monsters outside scratching to get in.

[platypus-whit-boots]

I'm one joke away from breaking down into fetal position, ugly-crying my eyes out.

[buckttommy]

reasons to stay alive

my teddy bear would miss me

need to finish the blacklist

[animusrox]

"You Missed the Point by Idolizing Them" Starter Pack

[visit-ba-sing-se]

I love ending e-mails with "thank you in advance". Like what are you going to now? Not do the thing I already thanked you for? Bring dishonor on yourself like that? No? I didn't think so. Check mate you have been played by the master of manipulation.

[jude-us]

I’m not exaggerating when I say this post changed my life. Seeing this as a terrified self hating 17 year old was like finding a fresh water lake in the middle of the Sahara.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[millidew]

his change in career has captivated me

bonus:

[godmerlin]

nothing worse than going through the process of making a gif only to realize after it's gonna be way too big and have to start all over. I FORGOT TO CHECK BEFORE I DID ANYTHING. lol

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m too gullible with people. I’ll have encounters and be like “aw they seemed nice ☺️” and then everyone around me will be like NONONONONO THAT WAS THE DEVIL!!!!!!!

[emberglowfox]

birds of a feather