Silly/Dumb Things that Make Me Irrationally Angry
disclaimer: the key words here are “silly” & “dumb”
The “Narnia Kids are the Founders of Hogwarts” theory
The “it was all a dream” theory
Thinking protagonist = hero
When fandom villainizes a character simply because they’re “in the way of a ship”
Character in relationship starts pursuing a different character (typically the MC) but doesn’t break up with the character they’re currently dating?????
Speed running enemies to lovers trope (that’s a trope for slow burns wtf are you doing put it down!)
Calling Disney’s Beauty & The Beast a story about Stockholm Syndrome
Calling any diverse media “woke” to undermine it
Misunderstanding how tags work on ao3 (particularly the / and & for pairings)
Misunderstanding the purpose of tags on ao3
Calling Lucy Heartfilia weak
Forgetting that Dick Grayson was a mathlete
Basing all of Jason Todd’s personality on his anger and ruthlessness
Misunderstanding Jason Todd’s anger
The DCEU butchering my boy Batsy
The “I was accidentally eavesdropping and left believing they were talking shit about me but turns out I missed the most important bits” trope
Being a military historian who loves the Civil War (I don’t trust you)
Using the word “females” to sound smarter (you just sound dumb also “women” is right there)
Spring Break being colder than usual (IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF MARCH IN TEXAS WHY WAS I SHIVERING)
Calling me by a nickname that I already refused to (you gotta earn that shit)
Ep 2.08 is never really touched on again after it’s “resolved”
vld’s lost potential (while i have made my peace, i will still bare my scars)
text blocks in fics
dialogue with no quotation marks
“Oh lookie, we got this wonderful fantastical world (that takes some inspiration from history) with it’s own politics and world building BUT we keep the sexism and racial prejudice bc the inspiration we pulled was medieval times :)” <- i will fight you for sport
mistaking rivals to lovers for enemies to lovers (similar flavor just R to L is slightly tamer. can they blend? yes, but they are not the same thing)
the blatant disregard for internet safety on tiktok (why tf would you announce your age, show your face, and air out your dirty laundry to everyone??? where is your caution? this is not vine, lil beans, y’all are stressing me out. did you miss the pbs episode about the dino agents and stranger danger??? or the fever dream computer game our 1st grade class had to play at school???)
if you have the sniffles, for the love of all things holy, please stand up and get a tissue. no one cares if you get up. i honestly prefer hearing you blow out your nose than hearing you suck up snot every 5 minutes.
taking the backstories told by Macaque and Azure about the Monkey King in lmk at face value (biased narratives are a thing! unreliable narrators are a thing! i will give the biggest sigh if Sun Wukong is placed as the sole character at fault in another fic i read with this)
“redemption” arcs
“sympathetic” villains
missing the fucking point about why Batman chooses mercy and rehabilitation over baseless violence (this also coincides with my issue with how some people view Jason as the Punisher 2.0 bc it suffers through the same fucking glorification of justifying apathy of human life and rejection of 2nd chances)
missing the fucking point about what makes Superman super (here’s a hint: it’s not his fucking power)
the fact that i missed most of Vine’s peak bc i wasn’t allowed a phone until middle school
i lost my post canon script of Cinderella in the prince’s POV that i wrote in 6th grade (rip, i should have created a personal gmail so much sooner, i could have saved you T^T)
understanding a motive does not equal justifying or excusing said motive. you just now understand why a person did what they did. maybe you find justification in it, maybe not, but it’s not absolute!
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
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KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”
COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.
EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!
- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!
- “Sure is.”
DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?
YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”
DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!
YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”
KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.
INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.
ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.
HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!
VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.
KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”
YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”
LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.
KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”
YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”
YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”
KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."
He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”
EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.
YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”
KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.
YOU - “…”
KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.
YOU - “Kim?”
KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.
YOU - “KIM!!!!”
uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt
(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)
also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes
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ok this sounds insane but in 2018 i went to a few carnivorous plant talks at the botany conference in minnesota. i got caught up in conversation with one of the guys there who was a huge nepenthes guy who told me a story about another collector in the pacific northwest who'd been buying poached plants, like a huge amount, and eventually got staked out by the fish and wildlife service and arrested and had all his plants seized and went to prison for it. idk if i ever talked about this on this blog before-- i know i liveblogged a lot from that conference but cant remember what all i posted-- but ive avoided talking about it since then because i was never able to find like, news articles or anything covering it, but behold.... we now have proof it was real, and im like 80% sure this was this guy he was talking about. the raid happened in 2016 and they'd been staking them out since 2013. he had nearly 400 plants and had been sourcing many of them from poachers in indonesia and borneo.
remember folks: poaching happens with plants too! it's a huge problem not only in carnvirous plants (nepenthes especially, which this piece is dedicated to talking about) but also in native plant populations in the US, including native carnivorous plant populations (north and south carolina's venus fly traps, california's darlingtonia, and sarracenia from the east coast), native orchids (historically one of the most poached categories), desert plants/cacti/succulents, and slow-growing woody ornamentals (cycads, for example). never buy bare-root plants off ebay or facebook! your best bet is local nurseries (which usually purchase farm-raised plants that do well in a wide range of conditions, and as a result have a healthy population in the wild) or specialty greenhouses (more expensive, but at least in the case of carnivorous plants offer young plants bred from established adult plants in-house, raised in captivity).
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