#it's also really interesting to see the different ways/contexts in which these greetings are said

[guardian-angle22]

911: Lone Star | TK & Carlos + various greetings ↳ for @ladytessa74

[imagineanime2022]

The Hashira See You As A Sibling

Giyu Tomioka X Platonic!Reader, Obanai Iguro X Platonic!Reader, Sanemi Shinazugawa X Platonic!Reader Gyomei Himejima X Platonic!Reader Muichiro Tokito X Platonic!Reader Kyojiro Rengoku X Platonic!Reader Tengen Uzui X Platonic!Reader Shinobu Kocho X Platonic!Reader Mitsuri Kanjiro X Platonic!Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Hihi!! First off all I hope you are having an excellent day / afternoon / night! May I request some headcanons of the hashiras seeing reader (who's also a hashira) as an older sibling figure (Gender Neutral if possible!)?? If it's possible all of them, if not that's alright! Please and thank you! ^^

A/N: This took far longer than I thought, sorry about that.

General

So for a little bit of context you have imitation breathing, which means that you can execute any other type of breathing after seeing it, you freaked out the others when they first met you because of it.

They all saw you as an older sibling even if you weren’t actually older than them, you joined before most of them and had been there with them and had yet to leave.

You were close with the master because of how long you had been a Hashira and you often spent time with him and he asked your opinion on a lot of things.

You were the one that was often called for a rescue mission when the Hashira needed help, you never really stayed in one place, you travelled around a lot so you were probably the closest to trouble at any given time.

They all loved you, none of them said a sincere bad thing about you, they might tease you from time to time but you honestly teased them just as much.

They each had their own way of greeting you but you made sure that you split your time with all of them otherwise there’d be complaints from everyone except for Giyu or Mitsuri.

There aren’t many outside of the Hashira that knew you, you were more like a phantom that the demon feared.

Mugen had fought you once and you both came away gravely injured, the upper moons knew of you and hated you and the lower moons had been killed by you on a few occasions and promptly replaced.

Now let’s get a little more personal.

Giyu Tomioka

🌊 Giyu is often the one to take a step back and wait for the other to finish whatever they wanted with you, he never thought that he was worth your time and you were likely going to have to seek him out to actually spend time with him. 🌊 This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to spend time with it’s just that his inferiority complex is acting up again. 🌊 That being said, once it’s just the two of you it’s easier to talk to him, he might still be quiet but you often talk to him and soon enough he’ll involve himself in your conversations. 🌊 If you tell him that you have an interest in something, if he comes across it on his travels he’ll pick it up and give it to you the next time that he sees you and he always remembers what versions of something that he got you, so you never end up with doubles. 🌊 Compliment his jacket, if you close enough he might even tell you what had happened then give him that jacket and from there you’ll realise that survivors guilt weighs on his mind. 🌊 Giyu is one of the youngest and yet acts like one of the oldest, so sometimes you have to remember that his view of the world would be different than yours and you explain the nature of friendships to him because he really doesn’t understand them. 🌊 When you were out on missions with Giyu, you often let him take the lead, you wanted him to be confident in himself, when he was on his own. 🌊 You were probably the only person he was confident in starting a conversation with and/or asking to spend time with. 🌊 You never missed a chance to stick up for him no matter what the others said, he was probably the one with beliefs closest to yours. You did agree with his choice for Nezuko and Tanjiro after all.

Obanai Iguro

🐍 Obanai was snarky as hell and was often sassing you in some way, you were never not hitting him upside the head for trying to start a fight with someone. 🐍 The rest of the Hashira watch with great amusement when you were both involved in arguing back and forth with each other neither one of you ready to admit defeat. 🐍 His snakes often wrapped around your arms or neck, so whenever they went missing he knew that you were around. Sometimes they’d even take your side in an argument, especially the argument about his feelings for Misturi. 🐍 You’ve told him on many occasions that he should just tell her how he felt but he kept denying that he felt anything at all. Which we all know is a lie so you teased him about it every chance that you got. 🐍 Your arguments with Obanai were strictly verbal considering the fact that you are physically better than him, he never tried to take past that. 🐍 Obanai spent a lot of his time trying to sneak up on you but it never worked, that was usually the greeting that you got from him. 🐍 When you were on a mission with Obanai you often took a step back to allow him to do his thing, you helped him where you needed to but for the most part it was his mission and he’d complete it. 🐍 You often rolled your eyes at his unrealistic expectations of others, he very rarely berated you because you very rarely came back with any injuries, that being said he was probably harsher on you than the others because you would fight back. The next time that he came back injured you were the first one to comment. 🐍 You were probably the only other person that he could stand spending time around without some kind of return and you were probably the only person that didn't get hurt by everything that he said.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

🌬 Sanemi treated people a certain way because of the way that he was treated which was why you were a little more gentle with him where you could be. There were times that called for you to be firmer with him but for the most part you tried to avoid clashing with him. 🌬 He learned to respect you after picking a fight he had no chance of winning, now he challenges you to fights to see how much he’s grown in the time that he hasn’t seen you. He literally greets you with a punch and there hasn’t been able to dodge yet. 🌬 You often told him off for the way that he treated his brother, you understood the way he felt about loss but that didn’t condone the way that he pushed his brother away and hurt his feelings. 🌬 Because of that you actually ended up spending a lot of time with Genya too, you made sure that he didn’t feel like it was his fault that his brother treated him the way that he did and honestly that made Sanemi kind of jealous sometimes. 🌬 Sanemi did ask you how Genya was getting on when you did see him because he refused to go anywhere need him. 🌬 You almost never agreed with the way that Sanemi went about things and even got angry with him at the meeting for the way that he handled Nezuko, you even put yourself between the box and his sword at one point. Which you got a mumbled apology for later. 🌬 You were often the mediator when he was on missions, he could be a bit harsh and sometimes he didn’t look before he leaped so you were the one to watch his back and maybe point him in a different direction. 🌬 Sanemi would never admit that he liked having you around but you biggest clue was that he never told you to go away and actually listened to a suggestion that you gave him every now and then.

Gyomei Himejima

🪨 Gyomei was the oldest of the bunch and the one that needed you the least, he’d spend time with you because he wanted to not and you were able to spend time with him because you wanted to not because you thought there was something that you could offer him. 🪨 You guys trained together all the time and by extension made each other way stronger than you would have been alone. 🪨 You were probably the only person that could keep up with him on a mission and with your breathing allowing you to copy his means that he didn’t have to worry about the strength that you possessed because it equaled his in most scenarios. 🪨 You were always there to make sure that he was okay, you comforted him when he cried no matter how small the issue that caused him pain was. 🪨 You engaged in prayer with him where you could and even asked him about his beliefs when you guys had the time to talk properly. 🪨 He warmed up to you easily but that was probably because you had been together for longer than any of the other Hashira, you both know things about each other that none of the others did. 🪨 You tried not to disrespect his beliefs or make his go against his principles and he knows that you're trying your best even going as far as offering to give the killing blow if it helps. 🪨 He’d often mindlessly talk to you about anything and everything, his voice was always soft and he encouraged you to give your views (which was probably why you knew so much about each other). 🪨 Gyomei was the one that you’d often spend time with when you had been through something taxing, he doesn't always need to talk or fight sometimes you can both sit there.

Muichiro Tokito

☁ Honestly for the longest time you didn’t know if he even knew who you were, he proved that he did one day when he mumbled your name in conversation. ☁ You were a little more protective of him though because he was the youngest of the Hashira, he was very good at looking after himself when he needed to. ☁ You would often be the one to relay information that he missed when his mind wondered, he’d often tug at your arm to point out a cloud as you half listened to the conversation so you wouldn’t both be lost. ☁ There would be times when he’d use you as a pillow and you’d never wake him, unless there was a mission you needed to go on or there was some kind of danger. ☁ It didn’t take long for you to realise that he didn’t put much stock in emotions, so when he talked he didn’t necessarily mean to hurt your feelings and you often had to defuse situations between him and the others. ☁ On missions you wouldn’t need to watch his back in the actual fight he was pretty good at doing that himself, it was in the moments that you were travelling from place to place or looking for information on the demon that you needed to be there. ☁ Sometimes you carried him to where he needed to go but that was faster than any other means of transportation. ☁ Muichiro would often use you to hide from conversations or interactions because the others were less likely to bother him when he was with you. ☁ He was more like an aloof little brother, you checked in more often with him to make sure that he was okay and worried that he’d get more lonely than the others so you hung around with him a little more than the others.

Kyojuro Rengoku

🔥 Bless this ray of sunshine, he’s probably the only one that actually asks how you're doing from time to time. 🔥 He respects you and treats you as such, he offers you food that he thinks is tasty and strongly advises that you taste it. You’d always accept what he gave you and compliment him on his tastes. 🔥 Rengoku would actually ask you for help when he needed it, as well as drag you into whatever stupid thing he and Tengen were getting up to that day, since you were the only one fast enough to keep up with them. 🔥 Rengoku was more than happy to introduce you to his brother who you became fast friends with. He made you promise that you’d look after Senjutro if anything happened to him. 🔥 That being said, you weren’t actually going to let something happen to him and that was why you went after him when Mitsuri said that she had a bad feeling, you ended up saving his ass when Akaza came calling (that was the day Muzan decided that you were a nuisance that needed getting rid of). 🔥 Rengoku holds you closer from there on, even going as far as introducing you to people as his sibling. 🔥 He’s usually the first to greet you and you always smile no matter how loud he’s being, took the time to learn and/or teach him sign language for stealth missions together or general secret keeping. 🔥 Rengoku was one of the older Hashira and yet ended up being one of the most childish so you spent a lot of time making sure that he was okay but he’s the one that you get the most reward from because he shows his gratitude for you.

Tengen Uzui

🔊 Tengen was the one that always successfully snuck up on you, you hated every moment of it but no matter how hard you tried he got you every time. 🔊 He would often challenge you to a race and you were the only person that could beat him, but that being said you were still in a rivalry and there was a scoreboard with the other Hashira had placed bets on. 🔊 Tengen actually tried to get you to be one of his wives which you denied, if only because your independence was important to you. 🔊 On that note his wives love you and when they can’t go on a mission they’ll send a message to you, to ask if you can keep an eye on him, which you had no problem doing. Though you had no problem looking out for them, Tengen would often send you a separate letter asking you to keep an eye on them while he was gone. 🔊 Tengen is forever jealous of the food Hina kept aside for you, the gift that Suma made for you or how Makio would always ask how you were doing after he came back from a mission. 🔊 They invite you for dinner all the time so when you are in the area you stop by and join them. 🔊 After getting word that Tengen’s wives had gone missing you were the one to save them from Daki, then promptly slapped Tengen around tha back of the head for putting 7 different people in harm's way before asking you for help (Zentsu and Inosuke were so confused, Tanjiro had to explain that you were a Hashira). 🔊 You help him beat Daki and Gyutaro. Gyutaro referred to you as the phantom which confused everyone but now that’s all that Tengen will call you. 🔊 Tengen is by far the loudest of the Hashira and the one you probably had to watch the closest because despite the fact that he was a trained shinobi and probably the fastest Hashira out there, he’d forgo all of that for a flashy entrance and that will be what gets him killed.

Shinobu Kocho

🦋 Shinobu was reluctant to actually treat you as a sibling, after what happened to her sister that part of her was closed off for two reasons. 🦋 The first fear and the second not wanting to replace the sister that she had already lost. 🦋 You never tried to replace her sister and you never pushed her to be more than she wanted with you so the relationship developed slowly. 🦋 She was probably the only one that you needed to earn the trust of but that happened over many injury treatments. 🦋 You really earned her trust when you got very badly injured for her and she spent months nursing you back to health, it was then that you told her about your relationship with her sister. 🦋 You often drew fire on missions with Shinobu, you knew that she worked better being about to get a knick in and most of the time, she was testing something new so you served to keep the demon alive long enough to see if whatever new poison she had developed worked, all while getting jabs at each others fighting skill or the fact that you gotten hit. 🦋 She’d often send you off with something new that she had developed because she knew that you’d stay alive long enough to report back to her. 🦋 You guys could spend hours talking about anything and everything, most of the time it was Shinobu talking through ways to treat wounds so that she was sure that you could make it back here to get properly treated. 🦋 You guys would often have sarcasm battles with large smiles on your face, anyone who saw them wouldn’t know if you guys were serious or not. 🦋 Your relationship was probably the closest to a love hate one, no one could tell whether you actually liked each other or not and that was for you to decide.

Mitsuri Kanroji

❤ Literally worries for you all the time, from the moment that she met you to the present day. ❤ Always wanted a sister, so it took literally no time at all for you to become close, she’d come to you whenever she felt like something bad was going to happen or when she needed encouragement. ❤ Girls nights happened often if you were both in the same place and that meant that she helped you with self care and you encouraged her to face the crush that she had on a certain snake hashira (never worked but you tried). ❤ You guys communicate with looks and in some cases noises, you’ll be able to tell what she’s thinking and send back a response that she understands completely. ❤ You watched her carefully when she felt strongly about something. Her health took a back seat sometimes, so you made sure that she ate properly and looked after herself especially when she felt guilty about something. ❤ You often found yourself telling her that she wasn’t a burden to you or any of the other Hashira. ❤ You two have so much fun when you are on a mission together, she likes that she has your full attention and there’s no one to hide from, she could be herself around you. ❤ As much as you both acted like siblings, the love that she felt from you reminded her of a parent and she wouldn’t change it for the world, being away from her family and the people that she grew up with, she likes that feeling that she gets from you.

Request Here!!

[enby-wrights]

(warning i do not understand how tumblr works i have been on here for like two months and gathered absolutely nothing so i apologize if i did something wrong with like tags and the like? also i think i kind of sound like a youth pastor towards the end of this but it’s okay i do what i want. anyways)

greetings marble hornets fanbase i just have some (long) thoughts to share on tim and alex :) i have some Mental Health Hot Takes that are not worded well because i wrote this at one in the morning but feel free to read anyways. also i know that the marble hornets mental illness allegory conversation has been done to death but please let me throw in my two cents i am just a little guy and i even said please

in all my six long years traversing the Deep Dark Depths of the marble hornets fanbase, i’ve never been all that interested in exploring any kind of close relationship between alex and tim within the story-- i think 2006 alex comes off as a bit desperate and overbearing, and i think that would have made 2006 tim a little too anxious to attempt to get close to him. it’s just interesting to think that they wouldn’t quite fit together at the only point in their lives where they would have had the chance.

their position in the overall story as narrative foils to one another, however........... now that’s a tasty character dynamic if i do say so myself :) although essentially all of season three revolves around the conflicts between people as they react to the mental illness metaphor operator in their own Fun And Unique ways, alex and tim are undoubtedly the poster children of this concept. both of them begin dealing with almost identical issues, and their reactions to these issues shape their individual narratives in completely opposite directions. i was thinking about it while listening to the podcast great, more tapes today (which if you haven’t listened to it i totally recommend it even though it has been dead for a year) and it’s kind of a really great allegory for the ways in which people’s reactions to experiences with mental illness can either make or break our recovery. as someone who has intentionally made my own recovery worse on multiple occasions out of general manic faux edginess, the parallels kind of hit me really hard

i’m gonna highlight the differences between alex and tim’s reactions to the mental illness metaphor operator using a bullet point list because i’m autistic and all of my thoughts occur in bullet point lists actually

during the filming of alex kralie’s marble hornets, as their symptoms are both beginning to set in, we see alex alone incredibly often. tim, on the other hand, is always seen surrounded by other people (this also comes down to the contexts in which they were filming but whatever it’s artistic framing or something idk)

tim seeks medical attention. duh. i think it’s probably pretty safe to assume that alex did not seek any sort of medical attention for his mental health issues leading up to all that murder, otherwise there maybe wouldn’t have been murder

aside from seeking medical help, we also see tim seeking help (or at least visibility) from his peers. entry #66 is just tim yelling at jay about how scared he is. and even if jay isn’t really much help, he can at least see where tim is coming from in the future and has the opportunity to act accordingly (he does not take this opportunity but hey at least it’s there. as alex’s condition worsens, all we see is him lying to his loved ones about what’s going on. which is bad.

alex constantly walks in anger and fear. tim doesn’t stifle his emotions (i.e. him beating the shit out of jay), but he also acts logically and doesn’t dwell on them for too long

by season three alex is just fucking living all alone in the woods (which if you didn’t know is the opposite of seeking help)!! not only is he running around in an echo chamber but he chose to bring a gun into the echo chamber with him which is a really great way to become more mentally ill. tim on the other hand has a job, and a life, and people in his life who at least care enough about him to call him and see if he’ll be at work on time. he keeps busy and he interacts with the world around him and even when he’s having to constantly check in with his doctor to make sure he stays okay he is out and about and being a person

and it’s a weird thing to think about because when i’m at my worst psychologically i tend to bring a (METAPHORICAL) gun into my own echo chamber and sulk around in there until i start to believe some pretty shitty things about the world around me

but on the few occasions where i do manage to reach for help and respect my feelings while still existing outside myself it’s a miraculous feeling. i get better. and then i get worse again, because mental illness is a bitch, but it gets easier and easier to reach out every time.

and i think that’s part of the reason why alex gets eaten up by the idea of the operator while tim doesn’t. tim has experience with getting help, and he’s clearly developed a skill for taking care of himself. he just got lucky that his first time dealing with a mental health crisis wasn’t as fucked up as alex’s.

anways tldr alex kralie is my new example for what not to do in my mental health recovery journey also he’s a bitch 

(ps i don’t understand how i got to the end of this rant without mentioning masky a single time but i promise he fits into the mental illness allegory somewhere probably maybe)

[minecraftbookshelf]

Mistakes Are Made Chapter One Dialogue Breakdown

This was hard to make it turns out. A combination of "how do i format this" and trying to comprehensively summarize the thought processes and decisions going on. I think this works though.

Honestly, this sort of thing would probably work a lot better as like, a live conversation but we work with what we've got XD

I won't be including every bit of dialogue from the chapter but it will be most of them.

Disclaimer that this isn't a "How To" or any kind of "you should do things this way" this is just an explanation of what I put into my writing, and dialogue specifically. Also that I write in limited first person most of the time, so in a way, all the narration can be considered dialogue and as examples of character voice.

This is also only the first part of a long story that is intended to a) be re-readable and b) involve a lot of discovery as the story progresses, so a lot of the decisions I made are based off of things that will come up/be revealed later in the series. I will be talking about those, sometimes with no helpful explanation, sorry XD

I'm using color coding to specify what parts I'm talking about at any given time, so hopefully that helps.

This is going to be a long, wordy post, its entire point is to be an insight into the intentionality and consideration that goes into writing dialogue for me, if this isn't something you're interested in, absolutely pass it by. It will also likely "take some of the magic out of it" for some people. But I like to think that it might also add a bit more magic to it for others. So here we go!

On with the show behind the scenes! [AO3 Link to the Chapter] if you want to follow along there with more context to the selections.

"Hello, Jimmy!" He manages to clamber out of the fountain without tripping and falling flat on his face at least. He splashes Katherine in the process, where she is hovering off to the side but he can't really be bothered to worry about that. All he can manage to do is stare at Sausage's smirking face. "Hello, Jimmy!" Katherine's greeting is much less mocking

Starting off with the very first dialogue of the chapter, which doesn't occur until a few paragraphs in and then proceeds to be the exact same line said by two different characters.

This is one of the times that I am heavily relying on the fact that I am writing fanfiction and these greetings are words that we hear the characters in question (Sausage and Katherine) say multiple times. So I don't go into much detail with dialogue tags, counting on the reader to fill that in themselves. Even if they/you aren't imagining the exact tones I had in mind its a fairly easy extrapolation that these are said in wildly different tones. The emphasis on Sausage's is to imply the more mocking/antagonistic tone, helped along by the mention of his expression, but can also just convey that its louder and more emotive (As Katherine is trying very hard to be OfficialTM in this chapter) Also describing her greeting as "less mocking" helps fill in the appropriate tone for Sausages retroactively.

"What is he doing here?" He jerks his chin at Sausage, who is still giggling like a child. He sees Jimmy looking and grins at him, all teeth. Behind the mask, Jimmy bares his own teeth and takes some comfort in the knowledge that he has more of them; and they are sharper.

This is the first instance of Jimmy's inhuman body language being used as an extension of the dialogue/conversation between the characters. The use of teeth as a threat being a hybrid trait.

Sausage's smile is also part of this, something that isn't actually said in this chapter but will be demonstrated later on is that, as the ruler of a kingdom with a heavy hybrid population, Sausage knows this and his own body language is chosen accordingly.

Sausage keeps giggling and Jimmy can barely hear it beneath the roar in his ears. He leans down to try and whisper into the faerie queen's ear. "I really need your alliance right now, Katherine." He hopes his desperation doesn't show in his voice. She gives him a reproving look that throws him right back to his brief time spent in a classroom. "I'm allied with everyone, Jimmy. You know that."

This is the first example of really incorporating distinct character voices into the dialogue. I'm a liberal user of italics and in this case I'm using them to indicate emphasis where the ccs tend to stress their words to encourage assigning that voice to the dialogue itself. These are also, if not direct quotes from canon, very similar to actual things the ccs and their cubitos have said so it isn't exactly what I would consider heavy lifting.

Jimmy at this point is still fully informal. He's surprised and he's talking privately to a friend.

This is also more natural dialogue from Katherine, whose exasperation with her friend is partly overcoming her attempts to be Formal Faerie Queen.

I'm trying to keep the early dialogue fairly simple and close to canon voices because that way I can transition slowly and naturally into slightly different voices that suit the atmosphere while also preserving their more casual voices as the way that they talk when they are more comfortable and in less official settings. Setting up the contexts for different manners of speech is a big thing in this chapter overall.

"He invaded the Swamp," Jimmy hisses, his ear-fins flaring, ignoring the shudder down his spine from her use of his Name, even in part. "He crossed our borders. Again. He's threatened war." He's no longer whispering by the end, standing to his full height, shoulders back, sword hand by his shoulder. "And according to him, you've threatened it right back!"

Another instance of emphasis on Jimmy's inhuman body language.

This bit is actually more about Katherine than Jimmy. It does show a bit of Jimmy's sensitivity to magic but more than that, it incorporates Katherine's willingness to invoke her own flavor of threats, even in casual conversation with friends.

This is the first real deviation from canon dialogue in the entire chapter. This is the blending point where I'm taking the characters voices and using them myself instead of just channeling the pre-existing ones. The emphasis for this was important to me to try and keep it Jimmy's voice saying the words.

The body language here is a physical representation of Jimmy's shift from more informal speech to a more tense and emotionally and politically fraught situation.It's also the transition of Jimmy taking this from a private conversation to a more public one, now in earshot of both Sausage and Katherine's guards and staff. He's beginning to speak more as The Codfather than Jimmy and his physical stance is the biggest indication of that.

This is Katherine's last "private conversation" line and is, again, indicative of her frustration with her friends and the situation they have put themselves and everyone else in. It's a fairly sharp statement, geared to indicate that she is not really on Jimmy's side here. ("all sides" = "no sides" and a part of Katherine knows that, even if she refuses to admit it out loud, mostly because it is a role she has trapped herself in and can't leave.)

Sausage recovers quickly and shakes out the fur lining of his coat. "Is it just me or does it smell fishy in here, now?" "Sausage," Katherine looks disapprovingly back over her shoulder. "That's rude." "Oh," Sausage blinks at them both, "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't realize."

Jumping ahead a bit we're in the "polite conversation because political masks" phase of dialogue.

Sausage is Not Being Polite. This is his attempt at "polite rudeness" but he's not very subtle in general so its blatant enough for Katherine to call him out on it. It's also a continuation of Sausage speaking more informally in general. He has something of an upper hand in the situation, and an abundance of bravado, and that is reflected in the way he talks. (Sausage just also has a very distinct voice in general that is already leant towards melodrama which works very well for the au's setting as a whole)

His apology is also disingenuous. In retrospect I should have probably used some italics or some other indicator to help convey that. (I might go back and edit something in. I do that sometimes on AO3. Major edits get notes made at the chapter end but minor fixes happen a lot.) He makes the "apology" and that connects Jimmy to his original statement, even if it hadn't been blatantly obvious.

"Oh, this one is new!" Sausage immediately changes the subject, pointing at one of the skulls hanging on the wall of the hall. It's some kind of middling-sized land animal...a sheep maybe? with poppies filling the eye sockets and woven in a crown, there are delicate lines of gold painted across the surface of the bleached bone. Katherine beams, her irritation at the rudeness forgotten (or at least set aside, fae never truly forget breaches of etiquette) "It is! It's a gift from a childhood friend," she looks fondly upon the skull for a moment. "We've been reconnecting lately." Sausage nods sagely, "It is always good to spend time with your friends." "It is," Katherine's ears twitch and her wings flutter briefly before she resumes walking. "Which is why we are going to fix this."

This is a slightly better attempt from Sausage at maintaining political etiquette by complimenting the host. A distraction and a peace offering.

And this is the first mention of Scott in the chapter, in what I am now realizing (it was not intended that way but here we go) is a context that kind of foreshadows his role of peace offering. It also is an establishing line for Katherine and Scott's relationship, as well as a nod to their short-lived plushie business (my beloved) from canon.(And the adaptation of it that exists in the au, which will come up later in Katherine's backstory at the very least.)

Sausage is being ingratiating here. It's a kind of wink wink nudge nudge "we should be friends and you should do what I want" moment.

Katherine knows what he is doing. This is also an incorporation of Katherine's inhuman characteristics, though a bit more subtly, specifically because this is Jimmy's pov and he is neither familiar enough with her mannerisms to break down exactly what they mean the way his own are, or unfamiliar enough with them to register them as odd and worth commenting on.

And then we have the POV switch to Xornoth

The entirety of Xornoth's external, out-loud dialogue is one single line, but the internal dialogue is their narration of the situation at hand. Ft. "helpful" commentary from Exor.

Xornoth's voice is arguably the trickiest part of the entire chapter as it is the part with the least canon basis. Xornoth is a character I am functionally building from scratch, given that the majority of their canon appearances are arguably as much Exor as they are Xornoth. (at least in the context of this AU)

Xornoth's canon voice (on a purely literal level) is "Scott Smajor with a script and a voice changer" and, on the occasions they are on screen together, "someone else with a script and a voice changer", and then the single epilogue bit.

So I'm working with somewhat stilted, formal speech and a tendency for dramatic declarations.

For this first chapter there was actually a bit more effort put into characterizing Exor, as, despite it being in their pov, the majority of the Xornoth characterization is happening in Chapter Two. (which is also mostly from their pov)

Honestly, this is already really long, I'll probably do the dialogue in the second part of the chapter as a part two, but I do want to put a compilation of Exor's commentary down here to talk about.

I opted to make Exor's dialogue bold instead of italics both to distinguish it from Xornoth's own internal dialogue and to emphasize how unavoidable it is for Xornoth. It's not something they can truly ignore, its too loud in their head.

Meaningless frivolity.

Disparaging commentary on the priorities of the other emperors and Jimmy in particular, leaning into one that Xornoth themself is inclined to agree with.

Do not pretend such reluctance. I see the truth.

Denying Xornoth's knowledge of themself in favor of asserting their own.

You are still only a student. And you will be so long as you refuse to take what is rightfully ours.

Exor's goal is and always has been (as long as Xornoth as known them) world domination. This is his most blatant statement of it, coupled with a disparaging comment towards Xornoth's own authority.

Like a fish on a hook.

Dehumanization with a side of violent imagery.

They are going to hurt themselves, trying that hard to utilize what little intelligence they have.

General scorn towards the intelligence and competence of the other emperors.

If we pinned her wings to the wall like a butterfly and made her watch, that would phase her. If we gutted him like a fish he'd squeal so nicely.

Violence. Rather graphic, worded in a way to make Xornoth/The Reader paint a stronger visual image to accompany it. These are the ones that both Exor (in-story) and I (out of story) designed to have a stronger impact. For Exor its about sowing thoughts in Xornoth's mind and having them doubt themself, for me its about really conveying Exor's intentions.

Rip them all to pieces, give the farmer the fight she wants.

This is a half-step back into a more friendly-aligned bit. Pearl is Xornoth's friend. A war would make her happy! Pearl is not Xornoth's biggest weakness, but she is one and Exor takes as much advantage of that as he can.

Wheat fields burn so easily, all it would take is a single spark in the right place and all of Mythland would be in flames. Carefully, carefully, Xornoth sets their book down on the table beside them and places their hands in their lap. Katherine will stop allowing them to borrow her books if they start spontaneously combusting them. Hopefully she doesn't notice the slightly singed cover.

Arson yay!

With the previous comments designed to rile Xornoth up the invocation of fire is a deliberate reference on my part to Xornoth's powers (with the follow up in the next paragraph) and on Exor's part is a provocation towards losing control/making it harder to stay in control of their powers.

Why do you consistently choose to prove your incompetence.

Even gods that crave violence can be disappointed.

this was equal parts chosen to add to the overall comedy of that exact moment and as a final nod to the way that, while he spends a lot of time tearing down other people in Xornoth's head, he also puts a lot of time into tearing down Xornoth himself.

-

I'm going to leave it there for now, if just because of length. I can come back and make a part two for Xornoth and the other emperors during the second part of the chapter later.

[cherryjuiceblues]

Re: mb5 sneaky.

I think it’s important to note that y/n *wants* to be a stay at home wife. And while the expectation for her to have dinner on the table every night when he comes home isn’t reasonable, they are in a relationship, so when she commits to doing something, that’s her version of “pulling her weight” in the relationship. It has to feel balanced for both of them. He makes good money and really doesn’t ask a lot of her. And it isn’t just an agreement for sex — they’re choosing to be exclusive and build a life together romantically. So I think that’s what’s really tough:( because shit happens. She got distracted!!! Lord knows I’ve done that!!!! I think Harry is justified in being a bit upset. But I also think it’s completely appropriate for y/n to bite back at his reaction. His tone and demeanor are not okay. Bestie this angst felt ALL too real:(

The way you’ve written their two points of view is so brilliantly done that it makes you understand both sides. And it makes you feel for both of them. Because it does give this vibe, like, um, excuse me? Not your housewife? But also understanding why Harry would be so frustrated. It’s so real.

The fact of the matter is that they are both wrong and they are both right. Real relationships are complex like this. It’s not all black and white. And you’ve managed to ride that delicate balance perfectly? And then her feeling sad that her pet name is being associated with an unpleasant experience? So real, oh my heart felt that one 🥺

Also mentioning that she had wondered what it would take to push him to his limits? Because he’s been so patient. And then this moment where she sees it coming. The contrast in the way he greets her. She’s watching him really lose composure and unravel for the first time. And how scary it is to be on the receiving end. And to feel like she’s the reason for it. But she still stood up for herself? I love her? I don’t think people give mb y/n enough credit! Like she’s so soft but she’s not going to be kicked around?

Truly it’s just the way Harry is presenting himself that’s wrong. Him coming off as a little entitled and her calling him out on it is a beautiful way to show her little fire. I think it’s interesting—because personally I feel like the fact that it’s happening in the kitchen is what makes it so easy to misconstrue as misogyny, which heightens our reaction to it. But the reality is it’s about following through. Her pulling her weight. In a different environment, it might not feel so extreme. It’s just about doing what you said you’d do. But I feel like this could leave to some really great makeup sex 😵‍💫

So anyway this hit different for sure ��

Also hiii, first ask not on anon 🙈

- 💌

bestie :((( you're so kind. ily. and your analysis makes me so so happy.

i love love love your take on things! i hope that when i post the full part that more context will smooth things out!!! all of this is so beautifully written, i don't have much else to add apart from my gratitude honestly!! the time you always take to leave feedback and share your thoughts never goes unappreciated. your opinion means so so so much to me. i feel so lucky to have you <3

and yes the makeup sex will be super yummy :DDDD

AND SO PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING OFF ANON BESTIE <333

[charincharge]

AAAA ok so update on meeting that girl for the first time. Pretty sure you’re absolutely right, thanks for the help <3 Going to try to keep this update somewhat in order: When we get to the meeting place, we realize we have no clue what anyone looks like + no one knows real names, so my family goes to sit down. Meanwhile, I see a REALLY PRETTY GIRL (who I highly suspect is LGBTQ also (I’m pan) but didn’t get to confirm) standing off to the side. Anyways, I said something to my parents about if we had a way to contact her or her parents somehow and the girl I had seen just snaps up to look at me and there’s just a silent “YOU” that passed between us because she recognized my voice from when we play games together. Anyways, yeah she’s SUPER PRETTY???? jshdkdja So after talking to confirm via online aliases, we both get VERY nervous and kind of mumble awkwardly to each other in greeting. Everyone else gets along great right away, so that’s good. BUT THEN we go on the tour and I’m kind of mumbling some comments about things we saw and she laughs and !!!!! We start talking and literally will not shut up by the end of the day. Like, we get along so well???? Even as we were walking back to the cars at the end of the day, we were staying together just talking the whole way. + after the tour we went out to lunch / early dinner and got ice cream. AND apparently she just recently found her first shark tooth and is really interested in them. Since I live like.. 30 mins max from the beach (with tons of teeth!!) I decided to invite her to the beach and now we’re planning to meet again sometime to go look for shark teeth together + she doubts that the aquarium is very interesting so I may or may not take her there too afterwards to prove her wrong :D (context: we have one of the largest, most interactive aquariums and, as someone who normally dislikes going literally anywhere, even I find it really fun). Anyways, today was great and she’s amazing and we’re definitely planning on doing more stuff together soon!!! As I’m typing this, I’m actually waiting for her to come online so I can finish teaching her how to play a game I like (we played for like 4 hours and haven’t even made it through the tutorial yet bc we were laughing too much and getting way too distracted just messing around last time) for the next few hours (aka probably until 2:00am or so-)

But yeah, you’re most likely right. Which also kinda scares me bc I’m also demi and I’ve never felt like that before?? So it’s weird just meeting her for the first time and instantly getting along THAT well. Your advice absolutely helped though, so thank you again <3 I probably wouldn’t have recognized what the source of nervousness was otherwise + I was basically mentally repeating “just act natural, just act natural, …” the entire first half.

Other great stuff: she sat next to me on the bus!! we hadn’t really talked aside from the mumbled greetings at that point and she could’ve easily sat with her family, but NO. She chose to sit next to me instead. we’re also just generally interested in a lot of the same stuff (but in a way that weirdly compliments each other?? Like, same general interests but different aspects of them that often are best when working together). Also pretty much the exact same sense of humor (hence us laughing and talking so much after my initial muttered comments about the tour). Overall, just AAAAAA jshsjdja it was so much fun and after the initial awkward mumbly stage we both were just having a ton of fun.

This sounds like it all went SO well!!!! I’m so glad!!!! I hope it continues on, and even if it doesn’t, you should still be so proud of yourself for getting out there 🥰

[jobugg]

Entry 5: Religious Diversity in France

Before coming to Paris, in class, we talked about something called Laïcité which is word roughly used to describe secularism in France. France has a much stricter version of the separation between church and state. The government of France cannot be associated in any sense to any part of religion. France’s Government, at least compared to the United States, leans closer to Socialism. The things France’s government does is for the good of all of the community and ALL of the citizens of France. Not just those on top or those in power. Therefore France has significantly more public universities that private ones because school at a public university here only costs about 200 Euros, compared to thousands of Dollars for even public institutions in America. And since anything that is connected to the state cannot relate to religion that means in order to be educated to the point of being a religious leader one will either need to seek out one of the astronomically more expensive and rare private non-secular institutions in the country, or leave the country to be educated. It’s a religious brain drain occurring in France. I hadn't considered this idea and how it could potentially effect the country's overall numbers of those practicing religion as well as the number of people with the education able to run religious institutions until we visited Mosquée de Paris. The mosque was absolutely stunning and it was really nice to have a refresher on the ideals of Islam, especially learning again about the 5 pillars and learning about the historical context of Mosquée de Paris being the only Mosque in the central Paris and the only one built by the state before Laïcité. 

We also visited 2 churches as a group: Saint-Chapelle and Saint Eustache. At Saint Chapelle we saw an Opera concert that was exceptional. The church inside was beautiful with tall renaissance inspired stained glass windows and figures of saint that looked down on us. I was really intrigues by these saints because it felt like they all had a purpose and were protecting those sitting in the audience in different ways. Before entering this church we learned about how the church was de-christianized during the revolution and the beginning of Laïcité and how It is now more of a concert hall, but back when it was a church it housed the crown of thrones which Is said to be what was on the head of Jesus when he died on the cross. It was interesting to be in the church because you could see where the crown was meant to be before the revolution. I think the architecture of the church including the stained glass windows really helped to give the opera a more emotional impact. 

When we went to Saint Eustache we went to attend mass. This was only the second time I had ever attended a catholic mass. The first time was in my home town when my sister was singing. The mass was very long and a bit exhausting so what I was expecting at Maas wasn't at all what I experience. The mass was only an hour long and honestly mimicked a service I would have experienced back home very closely (of course except the one here was in French). For example this Maas had an opportunity for you to greet those around you also worshiping, this is something we do in church every Sunday and call it passing of the peace. It was nice to give going to a catholic Maas a second chance though especially since Gabby who is one of my close friends and is on this trip is Catholic. So it was nice to get a feel for what she experiences in her life. 

Besides mass the church was absolutely stunning. It was incredibly grand and from the outside honestly looked like a castle. Before we enter this church Dr.Janes and Dr.Kraus talked about how the area in front of the church used to be where at the crack of dawn farmers would come into town in this spot and sell their goods to all of the people that would then go set up markets around town. I was really intrigued by this story because I like the idea of thinking about how spaces change and are used through time. The space around the church now is mostly a mall/park. Later in the trip I took a visit to Petit Palais a small local museum and there I saw a painting that depicted the Farmers Market for the marketers with the church in the background! It was amazing to come full circle and see this depicted in art.

We also visited the Immigration museum which had a temporary exhibit about Jews and Muslims in Paris. It was especially interesting to go through the art and artifacts and read the texts about how Jews and Muslims have been treated differently in Paris over time especially when looking at colonialism and how Laïcité as well and white dominance had an impact on the hierarchy of religion in these colonized territories. When looking at Judaism specifically it seems that after colonization Jews in these colonized territories gained power and respect because Judaism tends to be a more white dominate religion compared to Islam. However the Museum also ended making the point that all of these religions are founded on the same principals of love kindness peace and more which is an interesting point to be made about intersectionality. 

overall it was really nice to have a religious aspect introduced into this trip because I was able to relearn some of the islam information I had learned before mostly through Phelps Scholars as well as get a feel for the historical spaces that have been used for secular and non secular purposes over many years!  

[tomatograter]

What are your Thots on jake’s pq route?

I already wrote some about it in this post where I discuss the problem with taking dirkjake as a literal parallel to tavris (Mainly, that it’s inaccurate to both situations and misrepresents the dynamics at play) but it’s been long enough since release that I feel like I can talk about it without that criticism being taken as a personal witch hunt. TL;DR: As a general rule of thumb I don’t cite Jake’s PQ as part of his characterization, and I think basing your Jakewriting on it will only lead you astray.

I liked a lot of the Pesterquest routes and the alphas were among some of my favorites, but I think when you play the four of them in sequence Jake’s really... stands as the odd one out. It’s almost as if he’s afforded way less sympathy from the get go for some indiscernible reason, or like MSPAR took a day to say ‘I can’t stand this kid in particular’ after dealing with waaaaaaaay more mindboggling troll customs or stupid dangerous situations that tested their patience and their limits. When it comes down to it, it’s mostly an issue of framing.

Let’s go with the “Just the Alpha routes” example, because I think that makes the overall context clearer and the response/reactions it gathered (or the lack thereof) easier to understand. The alpha kids were the last 4 Pesterquest episodes. They were also afforded entire volumes just for themselves, which cemented our expectations on “oh, they’re going to really dig into unexplored territory!” and for the most part, that’s what we got! It was really nice to see the internal mechanics of Jane as someone raised within a corporate echochamber, Roxy as a grieving, isolated kid, deprived of all human contact, and Dirk as a nerdy doomsday prepper haunted by private flashes of himself as a supervillain. It all works! Those are things the alpha kids were dealing with on the background of the broader Homestuck story, things we were only hinted at as the *larger* problems played out. It makes you understand their point of view. Except on Jake's route, where nothing about his life seems to be relevant at all? 

With Jane we get discussions about HIC and her family, with Roxy beautiful passages about a mother they never met and growing up alone— Same for Dirk, who gets a whole brother zapped from an alternate timeline. But on Jake's route there's not even an expansive dialogue path dedicated to Grandma English, Skaianet, the rebellion, or the giant red ship that came and murdered her in the night and then bombed his house, leaving him trapped inside his only surviving tower. No understanding passage realizing that this kid has had to fend for himself in an island full of Actual Giant Alien Monsters trying to eat him alive, or that he cremated his guardian specifically to avoid attracting predators to the scent of fresh blood drying on her mutilated corpse at the age of an actual toddler. The text refuses to dig into any of the psychological implications or impact an environment like this could have on a kid, which is even weirder when you consider MSPAR has met and helped Vriska get out of a similar situation. The whole thing with Jane in the previous volume has just happened, even, while Jake's particularities go unremarked. He was just supposed to deal with it. And that's because a choice was made to portray all of Jake's problems in this route as sort of... single handedly Dirk's fault? Something he should have Just Dealt with?

There's not even a hint that Jake knows Hal exists. Which is important! Jake can pick out Hal from Dirk based on *verbal cues*, and the fact that he considers Hal a barrier between him and his "real friend" getting to communicate with one another is a whole point of contention (and even comedy) in the story proper. Instead of examining Jake's isolation, or grief, or how he literally locks himself in his room and plasters it with cinematic posters to pretend he's just the main lead of a wacky adventure movie in the face of the immense shitshow outside, we get brobot acting nonsensically and threatening to break into Jake's room to beat him up. 

A general reminder on brobot: He was programmed to scout the jungle and deal with predators so Jake could a) Be allowed to safely leave his room (something he simply didn't do before age 13 out of sheer terror, and we know this because dirk and jake talk about it on his birthday conversation, when he first gets brobot) and 

b) Learn how to defend himself in the case of a surprise attack, with different combat settings adjusted to his level. The brobot has a novice mode Jake feels patronized by, but pushes him up levels quickly enough. In Homestuck proper, the brobot only enters "stalking mode" after Hal gets pissy with Jake for finding him out, and forcefully switches the setting on to make Jake work for the Uranium inside it. When you take Hal out of the picture, this plotline makes no sense! Jake's route is set way before the Alphas even think of entering the game, so this particular event hasn't even happened. Jake goes on to text Roxy and she turns the stalking setting off remotely anyways, so even if brobot was programmed to murder Jake in his sleep, or jump him inside the safe zone of his room (he's not) he has literally no reason to be acting like that when he's been set to Baby Buff Up Mode.

(Brobot does end up spontaneously pulling himself apart to give Jake his reward after this)

Which brings me to my other problem with the general framing of this volume; the alpha kids don't feel present in Jake's life as friends at all. It's all "romantic options" and "shipping discourse" and MSPAR making these silly logic jumps to justify insisting on this line of query, and all it does is completely flatten out anything of interest having to do with Jake as a Person, to build up an image of Dirk as being suspicious and shady for his volume and more or less come to the conclusion that Jake sucks because he just Cant Choose Who To Date Between All His Friends! And that's why jake is just like tavros… and dirk is just like vriska! Or something. 

And just as a reminder, here's Jake talking with Roxy so I don't have to explain why that feels like a weird choice to me. (click to zoom)

And then there's the endings. On the vriska ending, MSPAR just ends up weirdly angry at jake for being such a piss baby and not getting that he's tavros and dirk is vriska so he had to… uh… take all his anger out on this 13 year old alien girl he has never met and teach her a lesson to prepare to do the same on dirk, or something. And on the other ending Jake mentions his pen pal, is zapped to meet jade, they have some non-committal greetings and then a cosplay party where Jake insists that he totally likes Lara croft not because she's a femme fatale and he relates to that, because he's never ever in his life thought of anyone being interested on him. Or Something. He likes Lara croft for normal reasons only. He wears really tiny shorts and does sexy poses because he's not aware at all of how other people find him attractive. He's just too dumb to get this, or the shipping thing, or that he's tavros and Dirk is vriska (who the hell are these people?).

Jake feels like an afterthought in the grand scope of events. Sidelined on his own episode. This volume is busy with rehashing age old fandom arguments that have little to do with his character, because said arguments were started and maintained by bored teens engrossed on fighting online instead of analyzing Homestuck; we introduce vriska for no interesting reason at all (thank god at least Jake has enough decency to say he's not into hitting on 13-year-olds, because that would have been particularly rancid.) And aside from catchphrases and old slang sprinkled liberally into his dialogue like a fog making machine, none of the motivation for the character is there. What does he want? What does he fear? Why does he act like the way he does? What would accommodating him look like? What would helping him look like? We get this on Jane's volume, Roxy's volume, and Dirk's volume. To really heart-wrenching and dramatic results, too. You get to know who they are, where they live, what they want, what they fear, what might help them get better, but Jake is just sort of There. He's a burden. MSPAR either ends this volume berating him for not doing what they want or finding him weird and confusing and like they don't know each other at all, and the fact both of those were marked as dubiously bad ends in the game files speaks for itself, I think.

[scoobydoofenshmirtz]

The Horny Cinematography of Seasons 4 and 5 of Supernatural

So I made this kinda silly post about how horny the late Kripke era of Supernatural was and it was mostly meant as a joke, but then it got me thinking. So I did a little bit of digging, went through some memorable scenes, and noticed some actual patterns in the way Dean and Castiel are shot versus other characters. Disclaimer: this is not exactly a scientific analysis. I didn’t rewatch the entire two seasons for this and there are probably shots with other characters that I missed that go against it, but this is just the general trend that I noticed. 

Click on the images for higher resolution. Analysis is under the cut.

So the general premise of this analysis is that Cas and Dean are shot noticeably close-up, typically staring intensely into each other’s eyes. I think we all know about the whole staring thing, but the actual close-ups were way more intense then I think some people might realize, especially when compared to other interactions between different characters. Cas in particular is shot very close-up frequently whether he’s talking to someone else or by himself (there are so many gorgeous close-ups of Misha in season 4), but the intense eye contact is pretty much only with Dean. 

It starts off almost immediately in 4x01 Lazarus Rising where in Dean and Castiel’s very first interaction, they stand very close and the camera focuses on their faces. First we have two close-ups, then in what is maybe my favorite shot in all of Supernatural, Castiel steps in closer to Dean and the close-ups get even tighter. He tilts his head and stares thoughtfully at Dean with those big blue eyes. Cut to Dean’s look of discomfort after being told (very accurately) “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

Things amp up in literally Castiel’s second appearance in 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester with one of the horniest Destiel scenes in the show (again this is only their second interaction!) We have Castiel unexpectedly showing up at Bobby’s house, Dean sassing him, and Castiel stepping very close to Dean and saying “You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.” This is a very tense interaction with some beautiful low key lighting that pretty much went extinct after season 5. Notice how tight the frame is, even compared to 4x01. These are extreme close-ups where both Dean and Castiel’s chins and foreheads are cut out of the frame. 

Castiel’s third appearance in 4x03 In the Beginning is a lot more prominent as he has many scenes throughout the episode instead of just one. I’m not gonna include pictures of all of them because there’s lot, but there are plenty of close-ups and intense gazes between the two (e.g. sitting on the bed, “Hello Dean. What were you dreaming about?” which according to Misha, Kim manners said was “too gay” but they did it like that anyway) and contains the first time they touch and the first time they are shot in more high key lighting. Go rewatch the episode if you want to see more lovely close-ups between Dean and Cas. 

Next I would like to draw your attention to episode 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. This is Castiel’s fourth appearance and the first time we see him interact with a character who’s not Dean. This is where the differences between how they’re shot start to become apparent. First we have Sam’s first interaction with Castiel (greetings blood freak) that is shot with standard close-ups. Eventually, Dean comes in, conversation happens blah blah blah and we get to the more intense discussion about how the angels want to destroy the town. The discussion is between Dean, Cas, Sam, and Uriel, but Dean and Cas get most of the focus. The camera tells us that they are the main subjects in this scene. Dean and Cas are shot more close-up and tighter and they are standing closer and looking in each others eyes unlike Sam who is looking back and forth between them and standing a few steps back. 

Of course this doesn’t stop in season 4. Here is a similar example from 5x02 Good God, Ya’ll! but the difference between Dean and Cas and Sam is even more obvious. This is the “I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you,” exchange which I find interesting. Some people could say here that Cas means “you” plural as in Sam and Dean but the Camera is so focused on just Dean and Cas while Sam just sorta hangs there in the background. 

One thing that I think is interesting is that these types of shots-extreme close-ups with two characters looking into each other’s eyes and standing no feet apart-are not necessarily exclusive to Dean and Cas, but they are usually in a different context. Pretty much all (at least that I could remember) the other examples of this type of shot are between one character and a villain. Below we have three fairly intense confrontations between characters, Sam and Uriel in 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester, Dean and Alastair in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin, and Dean and Cas in 4x22 Lucifer Rising. The composition is almost exactly the same with similar lighting as well, but one of these things is not like the other. Very obviously Cas is not a villain and this scene in particular is a huge moment for his character that cements his decision to fully rebel against Heaven for Dean. 

Also characters that tend to be that close together looking into each other’s eyes in two shots are usually villains except for Dean and Cas. Below we have a shot of Ruby and Sam very close together right before he drinks her blood and a very close-up shot of Dean and Alastair both in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. Compare that to the two shot from 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester above for example. There is a certain sexual nature in these two villain scenes (and a lot of villain interactions on Supernatural in general). Obviously, Sam and Ruby are literally having sex, but Alastair is also portrayed as a villain who sexually objectifies his victims (the torture scene with Ruby, calling Dean “Daddy’s little girl, etc.) but Cas is not a villain and yet the framing is very similar. 

Now I want to compare two fight scenes, one in season 4 and one in season 5. Here we have the fight scene between Ruby and Sam in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer. Ruby is of course a sexy lady who Sam sleeps with in a sexy fight scene where she “proves” that she wants to help Sam by killing the other demon instead of Sam. But of course, the fight scene in 5x18 Point of No Return is shot way more close-up and Dean and Cas are inches away from each other. While I wouldn’t described this scene as “sexy” (Cas is literally beating Dean to a pulp) it is way more charged...intimate isn’t exactly the right word but there’s a similar but more intense erotic energy than in the fight scene with Ruby. 

Unrelated side note: there is a great use of breaking the 180 degree rule in this scene that I think works way better in this instance at disorienting the viewer than the shaky cam does. 

Next I have some random examples I noticed that show some of the different shots between characters. We have Anna in 4x10 Heaven and Hell right before she has sex with Dean. It’s fairly close-up, but still pretty loose framing compared to a lot of scenes between Dean and Cas. Anna’s entire face is still in the frame. Then we have a scene between Sam and Ruby in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer that is also not as close-up as a lot of Dean and Cas scenes. On the bottom is a shot from 5x17 99 Problems which is I think the closest Sam and Cas physically get in these seasons before they ever hug. It’s more of a medium close-up than most of the scenes between Dean and Cas where they get that close. Lastly I have probably the tightest close-ups between Dean and Cas from 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. It’s similar to the shots from 4x02 but the context is pretty different with Cas trying to reassure Dean about the apocalypse. I know these don’t really have a theme but I thought they were good examples of the general pattern.

Finally I would like to point out a scene that is sort of the opposite which is the infamous staring scene in 4x21 When the Levee Breaks that goes on for like an hour. I don’t really know what to say about this scene only that I can’t believe it’s real. They literally just stand and stare at each other.

So what’s the point of all this? I honestly don’t really know. None of these observations are hard and fast rules and I’m sure there are times when other characters are shot like this. However, Dean and Cas seem to be the only ones consistently framed this way-tight close-ups, staring into each other’s eyes standing zero feet apart. What does it all mean? To me it shows that their bond is unique and special (profound you might say). It’s not even like they’re shot in a similar manner to love interests, it’s that their framing is unique, it stands out. Was it on purpose? Maybe. How shots end up looking is interesting because it really is the work of a lot of different people including the director, the cinematographer, the editors and more. I don’t think they were thinking “we should film Dean and Cas in this very intense way because they’re in love” or anything, but they obviously recognized there was something special between these two characters. And truly, the intentions don’t matter all that much to me. What’s there is there, and watching it the first time around I noticed how close Dean and Cas always were and watching it back post 15x18 all those shots stand out even more to me. There’s really no conclusion here, but I think it’s interesting to look a bit more closely at the cinematography in TV shows that we don’t always think of as having the highest quality production. There’s a lot of layers to be discovered outside of scripts and acting and things we tend to focus on more as viewers. 

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 2

Khem-khem, ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue out praising Apritello's episodes. And yeah, this part will be dedicated, in entirety just one episode.

Purple jacket. April and Donnie's episode.

I really love this piece of masterpiece, because it show April and Dee relationship, better reveals them as characters, and demonstrates their connection. (My previous points at this whole situation)

The episode begins with Donnie sneaking into April's school under the pretext of helping her. Soon, April stated the reason why she called D - her science computer project. Actually, she could take a photo of the code and sent it to Donatello, and I'm sure, he would send her the correct one right away, he's coder, he's prodigy, no probbles.

But still, April just asked him to come over and help her without stating any reasons. And he, indeed, came at speed of the light.

I want you to understand what exactly does that mean.

First: April is aware how much Donnie is into human culture. He wants to study in normal human school, do some average teen stuff. Especially, he is loving school and science-related stuff, all these science school projects, visits to botanical gardens, experiments and laboratory work. Because it's his field. It's exactly his domain, where he's good at. His family does not share his interest in science, and April is only one who can understand him. Probably.

Also, April know, how badly Donnie wants to go to school, which gives him an excuse, even if not the most solid one, but an excuse, nevertheless, to visit her school again.

Why again?

Because he has no problem navigating there. Donnie went directly to April's computer class.

He loves this place. And he'd already helped April with her projects.

Even so, knowing that every time she asked guys, especially Don, for help, it turned into a cataclysm, April still called him to help.

It's just a weird, indirect way to say, " Let's hang out, I know how much you like this whole situation with science, school and etc. Here ya go, buddy"

It seems like April did that to make something pleasant to him, something small, but nice to make him feel better. Because, as I state before - he likes to help April (praise, doing something useful for April - still counts as a motivation) and he likes school.

Second: khem-khem, D came at her school, as it seems, right away she called/texted. He didn't even know the proper reason, but c'mon: April ask for help, plus, her school. Sounds legit, don't you think?

Anyway, April has always been being the reason and excuse for teetles, but especially for Donnie. Clear? Clear. Good.

Donnie also tends to not think things through when he is excited. Because he went at the daylight in place, full of people just to help April.

ROTTMNT shows us how turtles were really afraid of human reaction and possible consequences. They have plan "H" to pretend they are going to Galaxy Con, brothers have explanation why they look weird and it's definitely not because boys are mutants, uh-huh, no, plus, guys go on surface at evening or night hours, when there are not so many people, and it's dark, obviously, to cover them and keep unseen.

Yeah, of course, Donnie seems more capable then his brothers to handle the surface (he has cash, D's dressed up as old ladies more than once, according to Leo, he was in April's school before, so yeah, no big deal) and I suspect that his friendship with April is one of the reasons.

Third: do you remember how April worried about looking "normal" when she was finally invited to a school party? She even forbade Mayham to appear nearby, just not to look like the lizard boy. Because cool kids don't bring pets to school. April doesn't have many friends, or rather, there are none at school, and she's been trying to solve this problem by getting close to Taylor Martin, the coolest girl in school.

And April O'Neil just calls Donatello, an objectively strange guy (since when is it normal to be a fan of school? Pretty questionable) in place, where her reputation is hanging in a balance. Our girl does not try to hide Dee, as it usually shown in shows for kids, and April do not pretend that she sees him for the first time in her life because, you know, Donnie will catch everyone's attention being himself and may embarrass her in front of her classmates. But no - April says with all her actions: "Yes, I know him. Yes, that dork is with me. And I don't give a damn about your opinion. Your problems, not mine. And yeah, I'm fine with him being here."

I mean it, guys. The devil is always in the tiny details.

The way they behave around each other.

Donatello is way more, MORE relaxed and just being himself: dramatic dorky nerdy ninja with current obsessions. The way he sneaked in school and April's classroom, the way he behaves alone with her is contrasting the way of his attitude while his brothers are near.

Don has a specific way to shown up. Instead of texting her, Donnie used shurekens. Yes, he almost fell off the lamp, but still, that's... quite an entrance he makes there.

April worries about him, when he fell from ceiling.

Our girl feel relaxed enough around Donnie, so she winks at him.

A wink is a fairly casual gesture that shows some expression of sympathy, trust, and togetherness. It's both good for saying "We're in same boat, we're team" and show the playful attitude towards someone. Isn't that an indicator?

Ironically, that being the best friends April and Donnie do not have any secret handshake/brofist/special greeting, as it usually the besties have at kid's series. Like Kendra and Jeremy have.

I can do only one possible logical conclusion: their relationship is far beyond "friends," "best friends," and "family".

Btw, about this certain phrase about secret five.

- Nay, fair April. A secret five[...].

Once again, nice wording, Donatello. Fair April? Maybe I'm too critical, but often when someone wants to convince their interlocutor and at the same time show one's condescension to them, it's usually uses "my dear ..." or something like that. I understand that semantically the difference is not very big, but in the first case, you can feel Donnie's personal attitude, even though he uses a book word. The second is just formal politeness, which emphasizes the difference between the rightness of the disputants.

This phrase were interpreted on official Russian dub as (okay, it's really hard to choose the correct word, because there's a lot of synonyms in English that sits quite well, while on Russian it's just one word, damn) "Нет, милая (No, honey/sweetheart )". Actually, a strange choice of wording, 'cause this is not what usually friends use to say to each other. We prefer use words like " my darling", "my dear", to demonstrate leniency. And again, most often this prerogative belongs to the older generation. Russians rarely throw around such words as "honey", "dear", "sunshine", because this deprives these endearments of any meaning, and a person using them, as a rule, is familiar. Of course, there are people who use them on a regular basis, but I HIGHLY doubt that Donatello is one of them. It's not his style.

But still, maybe I just too critical at this point.

April, as it is shown, have some kind of power to cool and calm him down and bring Donnie back to life reality.

1. Don awakes from his daze while heard April's voice

2. He's literally coming back to life, when April said about his broken jetpack.

3. Dee obediently interrupts his touching farewell to the jacket when April yells at him.

Oh, and his face. I remind you, fellas, we're talking about Donatello, "I really do not like to express emotions"-guy and "I will die if someone broke my bAbEyS"-guy.

And what do we see? Donnie's emoting. And feels free to do that. He's even drooling. (What seems kinda interesting without context, if you're understand what I'm talking about ;))

Dee doesn't seem angry about broken jetpack. And his wide smile, while he's assuring April he can fix it? A few minutes ago, he was steamed when his stuff was stolen, but when the jetpack was broken, he doesn't even raise an eyebrow. Very eloquent.

April is his support

April also supports Donnie whatever he's up to. Yes, she hadn't been excited when Othello had expressed a desire to join the club. However, she also introduced him to Kendra and company. Yes, she showed by her whole appearance that she did not share his joy, but nevertheless, our loyal captain O'Neil was there for him, by his side all this time.

And her sweet facial expression. From "Srsly? Join this jerks?" to "If you dare to even think about to hurt him, I'll smash you".

And one more cute detail about Dee. Even if he does whatever he wanted so badly, Don constantly looks around at April, looking for her approval.

- Be honest, April, do I look fantastic, or SUPERBLY fantastic?

- You look like you drop a juice box in a laundry. (Play nice, April, don't be mean)

He cherishes her opinion.

April had even called him late at night just to, technically speaking, say that his tech were stolen. And what's the big deal with all his outfit? It's late night, they can just sneak out into Nakamura in their usual form. But noooo, April give a special ride on her bicycle. Just. You know. Our girl carried her own weight and his all the way without stopping. And then she went up 53 + floors running non-stop because Donnie's equipment was stolen. And then she had to chase the her classmates, dodge and jump out of the window. Because Purple dragons stole Dee's tech. Like shooting fish in a barrel, no big deal at all.

And it's definitely not because he will be totally crashed or he'll do stupid things during his anger, which will then come out sideways.

And April comes along with him to very end.

By the way, their phone conversations.

Donnie is the very case when "Call at any time of the day or night and I will pick up the phone".

When April called him when he needs D's help with Albearto, when something is definitely going on behind.

As it says in transcript of the episode:

[April takes out her phone, scrolls to Donnie’s listing and calls him. Donatello appears on screen. Behind him a flying microwave wearing boxing gloves shoots lasers at his brothers.]

Don: "You are conversing with Donatello."

April

[Crouched on floor in hiding.]

Dude, I need your help."

Don: "For you, anything. As long as it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls.

[There’s an explosion behind him and his brothers cry out, which he ignores.]

And yeah, he took her incoming immediately, he ignores absolutely and totally everything around him, because... April? Expositions, bloody flying microwave bot turned to destroy mode, his brothers screaming and being in life-threatening situation? Naaah, it can wait.

Donatello was at Todd's, building "the puppiest place on Earth" and was very enthusiastic about to finish this thing. But he paused anyway to answer April.

We already know how obsessive with work Don can be: if something interesting gets into his field of view, he begins to do it all day long. Remember "The Purple Game" - a very revealing case. Yeah, we weren't shown how much Donnie is into engineering, but I can guess that point remains the same.

April called him at late night and Donnie picked up the phone.

April, unlike Donatello, is a teenager who is burdened with social relationship such as family, school, and work periodically, which implies a more or less strict schedule to follow and some conventions, such as " April, you can't go out late at night to catch robbers, you are underage and you have to go to school/work tomorrow). However, she was watching the news late at night, so she called Dee. ( I have a lot of questions, but I'll never get answers, as it seems)

D, in turn, doesn't have so many contacts with the outside world. I highly doubt that anyone else outside of the family and April has his number. And yet, when he hears the call late at night he takes it. Yes, he had awaken from the nightmare, but still.

And what's up with his usual "You're conversing with Donatello"? He didn't even understand what's going on, as it seems, he's too sleepy to play his usual image and playfully attitude as we could see in "Hypno Part Deux" and "War and Pizza".

Adorable couple-like D&A arguing

April very rarely uses "I told you so" against anybody, or rather, this is almost the only case. This phrase is more suitable for Leo or Donnie, and you know," I told you so! " we usually use on people we know well, and we want to tease 'em about them being wrong. Which, in fact, once again highlights and proves how close D&A are. And I don't even get started about the fact that this is more like a couple's quarrel, not a friend's.

And one more time - in the end, when April suggests using the jacket to stop Kendra.

Their teamwork

I stated that before, I'll tell it one more and more times. The chemistry of their team interaction is incredible. It's as if they can feel each other, and each knows what the other is capable of doing in the next moment. April easily adapts to Donnie's attack, realizing his plan.

Donnie also throws them both out of the window in order to continue the pursuiting Kendra on the jetpack. Don is one hundred percent sure of April, that she will understand what he wants to do, Dee trusts her with his life without hesitation, and she has never used his jetpack. He just puts her before the fact: April will be using the tech.

Up for Donnie!

I really like how this scene was made. Donatello struggles with his own tech, somewhat he made by himself, having invested almost whole himself and his soul, but what "betrayed" him in end. When Dee finally managed to shake one of his battleshell, which almost choked him, Donnie feel so scared and unsecured. We can see his anxiety - Dee's coaching position with covering his head with his hands and tucking his knees.

Defenseless, helpless, and mostly lost, and then, just in time - hero comes to save his life. She uses Donnie's name as battlecry, look how furious she is.

Funny fact: on Russian dub April yells "Don't touch Donnie! (how dare you, madafaka)

April fits in Donnie's type of girls. She's cute (obvious) and mean (not so obvious).

I can't say that meanness is the main feature of April's character, as we can say about Kendra. But this personality trait is still present in her and sometimes it does not manifest itself so widely. April's meanness is not so pronounced, it is much softer and smoother, and it is not exposed.

But April becomes really mean when someone messes up with Donnie.

She's his support and prop. Literally. Just look at first frame, okay-okay, jokes aside

She's genuinely enjoying of kicking bad guys ' asses, even letting go of witticisms and barbs.

Last scenes

Don survived a rough night: he was used, his tech was stolen, so he and April had to chase the satin robed punks. Donnie was hit in the head with a hammer, he fell from a bird's-eye view, passed out and then his battleshell tried to strangle him. And April is here to comfort him, to cheer him up.

Yes, we don't get any hugs (because it's kids show, bleh), the tactility is kept to a minimum, except for April's comforting hand on his shoulder, but they don't even look at each other. But the softness of her voice, the intonation with which she utters a phrase (that is usually sent to the friend zone, but "pal" is really neutral word, and the most important how she said that) turn the scene upside down. It is not what April did to comfort him matter, it's how she did this.

I said "yes" to you way too often

April mirrors Donnie with his "Anything for you". Yes, of course, she said this with a certain amount of grumbling, but her voice and her demeanor suggest otherwise - she is not at all averse to going to giving in him.

And the way they're look at each other.

This one

And one more detail

It's really tiny, it's hard to catch from the first watching the episode, but still, it's possible. I'm talking about graffiti on the walls of the alley where April and Don had landed.

This one

Yeah, if we speak about reality it's quite normal to see graffiti like this. But we talking about TV-series, where everything has its own place and meaning. And if there something, it must be there, it's not just whim of artist who put it in there. But this little graffiti changes the mood of scene.

[bopbopstyles]

CROWDED PLACES

RATING: R/smut (sex, cursing, some handcuffs)

WORD COUNT: 7.8k

CATEGORIES: roommate!harry, bi!y/n

MASTERLIST |  TALK TO ME | REST OF THE BIFICATHON

a/n: here is my entry for @harrysclementines​​ and i’s bificathon (view them all here)!!!!!! i had prompts 18 and 19 (”Y/N brings home girls and guys (roommate!harry)” and “Harry asks her about the differences in sex between guys and girls”) and here’s what happened. as a bi person i had SUCH a fun time writing this, and i hope you enjoy. named for the BANKS song of the same name. xoxo, love u all my bi angels!

“Are you saying I can just have sex in your bed without you there?”

You grimaced. “Actually on second thought, please don’t do that.”

“Only with you present, I promise.” The words were out of his mouth before he had even processed them, the unabashed flirtation so sexual and clear. It made your eyes widen and you stop midway through the sip of wine you were about to take. He didn’t even know what to say after that—did he apologize? He couldn’t read your face, couldn’t see if you were okay with his words or made you uncomfortable.

“H, are you trying to get me into bed with you?”

The nickname you had for him fell differently in this moment, the sexual context sending blood straight to his pants. “What if I was?”

or

Y/N is bi, Harry’s her roommate and curious

pls reblog and share with your friends 💕

Harry found out you were bi by walking into your shared kitchen and finding a girl struggling to figure out your shared intricate coffee maker dressed in your clothes, her hair tangled around her shoulders.

“Need help?” He asked, walking toward the stranger in his kitchen.

The girl’s head bounced up at the sound of his voice and sighed. “Fuck, you scared me. Uh, yeah, thanks. I was trying to make coffee for Y/N but…”

He chuckled to himself and nodded for the girl to move to the side. “Nice of you.”

“I’m Emily, by the way,” the girl told him. “You’re Harry, right? Y/N mentioned she had a roommate last night.”

Harry flicked some buttons on the machine, fiddled with the coffee filter, and then the machine whirred to life. “Yeah, I’m Harry. Y/N mentioned she was going to some club last night—that where you two met?”

The girl nodded, leaning against the counter. “Yeah.”

Harry paused, not really knowing what else to say over the sound of the coffee dropping into the cup situated below the spout. He had come in for some breakfast and coffee, but he didn’t really want to make small talk with your hookup of the week, if he was being honest. So he decided to table coffee, and instead grabbed a box of cereal from the cabinet and the milk from the fridge and made himself some cereal.

“Nice meeting you,” he said to the girl before turning around and heading back to his room.

“Bye,” Emily replied and with that he left the kitchen, beelining for the safety of his own space.

Settling down into his bed, he thought about the girl in his kitchen and you, obviously still tucked into your bed. You two had never really had the conversation about your sexualities—you’d become roommates last year through an advertisement you placed on Craigslist and had spent most of the year just figuring one another out and becoming friends. The topic had never really come up and he had just assumed—wrongly, apparently—that you were straight, since he only really saw you with guys. Although, to be fair, there were nights that you didn’t come home and he didn’t know where you ended up on those nights.

He didn’t care in the slightest, just intrigued by this new piece of information he had discovered. He was curious, if he was being honest, but he didn’t really know if it was his place to ask you about it. Was that rude? He didn’t really know. He’d never just…found out about his friends’ sexuality like this, usually they told him outright at some point, so he was in uncharted territory.

Perhaps he’d just let you bring it up. Or he’d mention that he had met Emily in the kitchen, and see where the conversation went. He settled on the latter, deciding that would open the discussion up but not be too aggressive. More than anything, he wanted you to feel comfortable talking to him about these kinds of things, and also know that he didn’t mind who you brought home or dated.

So, he settled into his pillows and turned on Netflix, starting up a crime documentary he hadn’t seen yet, and ate his cereal.

When he resurfaced two hours later, you were in the kitchen with a skillet of eggs cooking, scrolling through something on your phone and sipping on a cup of coffee. You greeted him with a quiet “good morning” and he responded with the same, before going to the sink to rinse out his bowl and place it in the dishwasher next to him. Then he grabbed himself a cup of coffee, adding a dash of milk, and settled in at the breakfast bar.

“So,” he said, making you turn and look at him. “I met Emily this morning.”

Your eyes widened slightly, but then you nodded. “She told me. Said you helped her with the coffee maker.”

“I did.” He took a sip of his coffee and paused, unsure of what to say next. “She seemed nice.”

You stood up and fully turned so you were facing him, your phone forgotten on the counter. “Yeah, she is.”

“Are you going to see her again?”

You seemed a bit shocked by the question, but shook your head. “I’m not really looking to date anyone right now.”

There was the confirmation he’d been seeking—that Emily had in fact been a hook up. “So all the people you’ve brought back…?”

“Are just some fun,” you finished. “Where’s this all coming from? We don’t usually talk about this stuff.”

“I was just trying to figure out if I needed to prepare to have another roommate,” he quipped, and you snorted before turning back around to where your eggs were sizzling in the pan.

“What about you?” You asked him, using the spatula next to the stove to lift the eggs out of the pan and placed them on a light blue glazed plate, one of the ones you’d bought when you moved in and adored. Harry was banned from using them, relegated to the white porcelain ones he’d purchased.

“Sorry?”

You grabbed the salt and pepper and sprinkled a bit on your eggs, then grabbed your slices of toast from the toaster where they were waiting. “Are you looking to date right now?”

He hadn’t been expecting you to throw the question back at him, but he figured you had every right to. He’d asked you, why not share himself? “I mean, if I met the right person I would be. But I’m not like, actively seeking a relationship.”

With a set of silverware in one hand and your plate in the other, you walked towards him, setting your food on the counter on the other side of the bar so you could face him as you ate. For some reason, you loved to eat standing up  and it had never made sense to him. “So you’re not on dating apps and all that? Hinge and that shit?”

He shook his head as you swiveled to grab the jam from the fridge and began to spread it on your toast. “I can never figure out how to talk to people on them. They’re just so awkward.”

You nodded in agreement before taking a bite of your toast. “Meeting people in person is way better. I tried one once and it was so unpleasant. Felt like so much work, you know? Like finding someone shouldn’t feel like a part-time job.”

He chuckled to himself at your observation. “Right? I’d rather just meet someone through friends or something and talk to them, be able to figure out in person if there’s something there.”

“One time I’d been talking to this girl on Bumble for two weeks, we met up, and I immediately was like, ‘fuck I have no sexual interest in her.’ You know? Like there was no chemistry. We would’ve been great friends, but the other stuff? Nada.” You always talked with your hands and even did in this moment, you slice of toast in one hand and a fork in the other.

“What’d you tell her?” He asked, taking another sip of his coffee as you took a bite of egg.

“The truth,” you said, covering your mouth as you spoke and chewed at the same time. He loved how comfortable you two had become with each other, the natural result of sharing an 800-square foot apartment with another person. “And then she texted me like a month later saying she thought ‘We had really good energy’ and wanted to see if I was interested. So I had to tell her again that I wasn’t interested.”

“Shit,” he said. “That’s brutal.”

“Yep,” you replied, popping the p of the word as you took another bite of your breakfast. “So, what are you up to today?”

He shrugged. “Nothing, really.”

“I was planning to go to IKEA to look at a new bed frame and look at all the room set-ups—want to come with?”

It was one of your favorite shared activities, which you had discovered when he had moved in and needed to buy a whole host of new furniture. You’d tagged along since you knew the apartment better, and you’d ended up spending practically the whole day inside. Since then, it was your rainy day activity.

“What’s wrong with your current bed frame?”

You shrugged, picking up your toast and taking a final bite. “It creaks too much. I think it’s just old, so I want something different.”

Harry tried not to think about why your bed creaked so much, and instead told you he’d come with.

Harry was pushing you around IKEA and frankly you were having the time of your life. Just to piss him off you’d gotten into the cart, folding up your body and leaning against the front of the cart, and he’d just rolled his eyes at you and called you a child before rolling the cart towards the entrance to the store.

You had made it through the bathroom section without much incident, but when you had reached the living rooms you had decided that you simply had to try out all of the couches, even though neither of you needed to buy one. Together you developed a rating scale—firmness of cushions, bounce level, and ability to lay down comfortably. A couple ranked high on all three scales, but none just blew you away, so you jointly decided you definitely didn’t need to invest in another couch for no reason.

In the kitchen department, you both oohed and ahhed over countertops and backsplashes, pointing out appliances you desperately wanted. You tried to convince Harry that you really needed new bar stools, but he wasn’t swayed. However, he did relent and allow you to buy some new spatulas and other kitchen utensils after you told him they were replacements for the current ones, which were two years old at least.

Finally, you reached the beds. Bed after bed laid out in front of you, just waiting for you to try them out and see which one was both sturdy and sleek. You beelined for the first one, sitting down on the mattress and looking up at Harry, who was leaning on his elbows on the handlebar of the cart and watching you.

“Come test it out with me,” you said, patting the bed next to you. “I need to see how the weight of two people feels on it.”

His eyebrows furrowed, but he left the cart and moved towards you. He was dressed in one of his favorite sweatshirt, a black one he’d gotten in Tokyo at a DJ Harvey and Keb Darge party, and a pair of blue jeans with a frayed hem, and white Vans with the pink and blue laces you’d given him for his birthday threaded through each one of the shoes, a beanie covering his curls and his black sunglasses tucked into the neck of the sweatshirt. You adored Harry’s clothes, frequently stealing them which he found aggravating and you loved doing for that very reason.

He settled on to the bed next to you, his knee knocking against yours as he settled back on his hands. “So? Thoughts?”

His eyes flickered over to you. “Seems sturdy enough, but I hate the headboard.”

You turned to look at the headboard, which was just one long piece of skinny blond wood. Upon investigation, you also hated it. “Agreed. Next one!” You scampered over to the next one, which had a wrought iron headboard in black and you quite liked the look of it. The rest of your furniture was black and your duvet was a light blue, so it would fit in perfectly. “What do you think of this one?”

Harry moved to sit next to you and shrugged. “Seems good.”

“The headboard up to par for you?”

“I like it. You?”

You nodded and then looked at him, deadpanning, “You could hook handcuffs through it.”

Harry choked on air, before bursting into laughter at your comment. “Is that a priority for you? The ability to handcuff someone to your headboard?”

“Honestly, yeah. Otherwise what good is it?”

He bit back a smile, and then turned to look at the other beds around you. “Well on that basis, we can cut out most of the beds here. Ones like these are the best, nothing that’s wood.”

“Know from personal experience, do you?” Harry blushed and you poked his side. “Didn’t know you were so kinky, Styles.”

“Right back at you,” he replied. “So what other tests are involved in the purchase of a bed?”

“Well,” you began, pushing yourself higher on the bed. “Mine creaks a ton, so I need to know how much this one does.”

He glanced between you and the bed, and then the number of people around. “What’s your plan? Jump on the bed or something?”

You shrugged. “Maybe. Got a better idea?”

“You could like, try and push it forward and back?”

“Go for it.”

Harry stood up and walked to the head of the bed, grabbing onto the frame and pulled it forward and back—or tried to. The headboard didn’t budge and you watched with a quirked smile. “It’s not moving,” he mumbled. “Maybe that’s good? Means it’s strong and all that?”

For being two 26-year-olds, you realized, the two of you still didn’t know much about furniture. “Probably. But I still think we should do the jump test.”

“I am not jumping on that bed with you.”

“Harry…”

“No, Y/N, we’re in the middle of a store!”

You huffed out a breath. “Fine.” Then, you turned over and got up on your hands and knees and pushed all of your weight into the mattress and moved backward and forth, trying to see if it would creak or sway as you moved. You could feel Harry’s eyes on your form but you paid him no mind, your focus on the task at hand.

Harry, meanwhile, swallowed thickly as he watched you, the sway of your body sending thoughts he really shouldn’t have been having through his head. Did you realize what you were doing? The position you were in and what it made him think of? Probably not.

“I think this one’s actually pretty good,” you informed him, turning over and lying down on the mattress. “Should I get the mattress too? I’ve had mine for like five years. What’s the lifespan on a mattress?”

“Dunno,” Harry answered, leaning his arm against the wrought iron headboard. “Can you afford both?”

You groaned and sat up. “Why on earth did you have to bring up money? I was having so much fun until you got all responsible on me.”

“Hey, someone’s got to have some sense in our apartment.”

“And that someone is you?”

“You’re the one who wanted to jump on beds in the middle of IKEA on a Saturday, not me.”

You huffed out a sigh and pushed yourself off the bed, coming to standing. “Come on, let’s go look at desks.”

“So you’re getting this one?”

You nodded. “It’s the best one for the handcuffs, isn’t it?” He blushed and you walked ahead of him, letting him push the cart after you.

You spent the rest of Saturday deconstructing your old bed frame and building your new one with Harry’s help. It was definitely a two person job—screwing together the support pieces to the headboard and placing the slats properly, lifting your mattress onto your new bed. By the end of the whole process you were tired, hungry, and a bit cranky, but you had a new bed that you adored. Harry ordered you both pizza, and you opened a bottle of red wine once you’d finished your food, pouring you both a glass.

Harry was sitting on the couch, his sweatshirt long gone, in just his jeans and a black t-shirt stretched across his muscular upper body. In the year he’d lived with you, he’d gained a significant amount of muscle mass, transforming from the more ropey guy who moved in, into this man who looked like a fucking Greek God after a day in the sun. You carried over the wine, handing him his glass and setting the bottle on the table for refills that would definitely occur.

You picked up the remote, anticipating a night of re-watching each of your favorite trashy teen dramas from the early 2000s (yours was What a Girl Wants or the Lizzie McGuire Movie, depending on your mood) when Harry spoke.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” you answered, taking a sip of your wine and opening the Netflix app on your TV.

“It might be a bit too personal, so if you don’t want to answer, just don’t—“

“Harry, just spit it out,” you said, cutting him off.

“What’s the difference in sex between guys and girls?” His question was rushed, but you made out every word and it made you choke on your wine a bit.

You set down your wine glass and turned to fully face him. “Like…generally?”

The blush that crept across his cheeks was endearing, obviously regretting the question once it was out of his mouth. “I don’t know. Fuck, forget I asked—“

“It’s fine,” you told him. You considered his question, mulling over the experiences you’d had with both sexes and comparing the two. To be honest, you didn’t spend much time comparing them because they were different in so many ways. “The most glaring thing,” you began, “is that sex with women can just keep on going until one of you like…can’t anymore. There’s no waiting or anything like there is with guys. So it means that it’s really intense for like a long period of time.”

He was listening intently, fingers tight around his wine glass as you spoke. To be frank, you couldn’t really believe you were having this conversation with Harry of all people. “I guess it’s also different because you don’t have penetration with girls—at least, not in the same way. I’ve never used a strap-on with anyone, just like oral and hands, so it means those things are more intense, in my opinion. Also, girls are really fucking good at oral—not that guys aren’t—but it’s just so good.”

“What makes them better?”

“Not better,” you said, “just different. Softer, in my opinion—like their fingers and hands are softer. And they also can figure out what you need faster, or maybe that’s just the people I’ve been with. There’s definitely something to be said for being a woman and knowing what other women need.”

If it wasn’t for the wine in his hand, Harry might not have had the courage to have this conversation. It had been sitting in the back of his mind for ages, before he even found out you were bi, but now that he knew you were you were one of the few people he could talk to about something like this. You were also one of the few people he trusted to have this conversation with and it to not become too awkward. He felt more comfortable around you than he did with most other people, that was for sure. He considered what you had said, mulling the words over in his head. Softer. He understood that—he loved the softness of women when they touched him, their longer fingernails and the kitten licks they spread over his body.

“Why do you ask?” You tucked your legs up, hooking your arm around your knees as you took another sip of your wine.

He chewed on his lip for a minute, rubbing his finger across the exterior of his glass. “I was just curious, I guess. I didn’t know you were bi until you brought Emily back, so I just started thinking about it a bit. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” you told him. “I guess I didn’t even realize you didn’t know, to be honest. I don’t really feel the need to constantly be coming out to people, if that makes sense. Especially if I trust that they won’t care either way.”

“It does.” He shifted forward, taking another sip of his wine and mirroring your position. “And I don’t care either way, just so you know.”

You gave him a smile. “I appreciate that.” You fiddled with the hem of your pajama shorts, the old ratty blue ones from Target you’d had since college, before asking the question floating around in your head. “Now that you’ve asked me a sexual question, it’s my turn.” His eyebrows jumped, but he nodded his okay. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?”

“Are you asking me about my kinks?” He asked, a playful grin on his face, and your eyes fluttered down in embarrassment. “To be honest, I haven’t really tried all that much—haven’t been in that many relationships where I feel comfortable trying stuff out, you know?”

“You’ve obviously tried handcuffs,” you quipped, and he blushed.

“I haven’t, actually. Just…thought about it, I guess.”

“Well,” you said, the wine emboldening you, “you’re always welcome to try it with my bed.”

He laughed, one of his full body ones that made you smile widely at him. “Are you saying I can just have sex in your bed without you there?”

You grimaced. “Actually on second thought, please don’t do that.”

“Only with you present, I promise.” The words were out of his mouth before he had even processed them, the unabashed flirtation so sexual and clear. It made your eyes widen and stop midway through the sip of wine you were about to take. He didn’t even know what to say after that—did he apologize? He couldn’t read your face, couldn’t see if you were okay with his words or made you uncomfortable.

But then you saved him, giving him a small and flirtatious smile, one he’d only seen you give others, never him. The one where your eyes had a fire to the edges, a slight curve to your pink lips, your tongue dart out to wet them. “H, are you trying to get me into bed with you?”

The nickname you had for him fell differently in this moment, the sexual context sending blood straight to his pants. “What if I was?”

The conversation had taken a rapid turn and it had your skin warming, your brain abuzz. What if he was? You had to admit, you’d always found Harry attractive, from that first moment you met him in a coffee shop after he responded to your Craigslist ad. You had always told yourself it was just normal attraction, the same attraction you had to that boy you’d known your entire life and knew was attractive but never actually considered anything more with. It was platonic. You lived with the guy, for Pete’s sake—you witnessed his messy room and how he struggled to cook fish properly and when he had vomited after a night out with his friends. You’d seen him at his worst and at his best, but so had he.

Living with Harry had brought you close in a way you didn’t expect—you didn’t necessarily share everything with him, but he knew you in a way few others did. He could read you well, know how your day was by the way you entered the apartment. You liked the same type of movies, you had routines, you shared about your families over pasta dinners and a bottle of wine when the power was out and you had nowhere else to be. More than anything, you felt safe with him, comfortable, valued. He had always gone out of his way to make sure you felt comfortable with living with him and you thought he was honestly the best roommate you had ever had. You were endlessly grateful he responded to the ad and you’d ended up living with him.

But sex with him? Would it change everything? Probably. Would it change it for the worst, though? You weren’t sure. “Would it change anything?” You asked hesitantly.

He paused, the tension between you thick in your small living room, the soft light from the lamp in the corner basking you both in a warm yellow glow. “Not unless we wanted it to.”

You swallowed thickly. “Then I wouldn’t say no,” you said, voice soft.

Harry’s eyes were boring a hole in yours, his breaths shallow and frequent, panting as you both stared at each other, trying to figure out if what you thought was going to happen would actually occur. “Are you sure?” He asked, leaning slightly towards you.

You lowered your legs so that your knees weren’t up to your chest, and pushed your body closer to his in answer. He reached out and hesitantly brought his hand up to your cheek, his palm warm against your skin, finding your gaze before leaning in to close the distance between you.

The second his lips brushed yours you wondered why you hadn’t done this earlier. With his hand cupping your cheek, he pulled you in closer, his free arm wrapping around your lower back and tugging you into his body. He tasted like pizza and red wine and you thought that you probably did too. Your hands reached up to grip the back of his neck, holding him closer to you and shifting towards him. It felt electric, kissing him, and you were falling into it faster than you could think, craving more and more from him, desperate for his touch and the way he prodded open your lips and touched your tongue with his own.

He was grabbing at your hips, squeezing your skin through your pajamas shorts and the oversized band t-shirt you wore, the pads of his fingers digging into you and his rings heavy against your clothes. Fuck it you decided, and pushed back on his shoulders a bit, unwinding your legs, and swinging them onto either side of his hips, settling firmly into his lap. He looked surprised at your movement, but not mad, especially whenever you adjusted and brushed over his hard-on.

“Fuck,” he mumbled against your lips when you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as you kissed him. Pushing up the hem of your shirt, his fingers danced across your back, sliding up your bare skin. You never wore a bra at home, something he’d long ago gotten used to, but to have you pressed to his front, your nipples peaking out, and feeling your bare back under his hand was a completely different experience.

You tugged on the ends of his hair and he groaned into your mouth, a smile spreading across your lips that were between his. With your teeth you tugged on his bottom lip, pulling it away from his mouth and watching as his eyes fell to your mouth, his chest rising and falling as you let go of his lip and sat an inch away from him. Then, he was surging forward again, holding your head in one of his hands and pulling your mouth back to his, chasing you.

Everything about the moment felt good—from the way his hands felt on you to the smell of his cologne and the shower gel you both used, the shared laundry detergent on his clothes. His lips on yours, the prod of his tongue against yours, the way the sounds that left him rang in your ears. Your chest was crushed against his, knees tight against his hips, pushing him back into the pillow behind his head so that you were both horizontal on the couch, your body hovering over his.

The two of you lingered in that position, letting the swivel of your hips over his pelvis draw moans from you both, soft and breathy sounds that filled your living room. Harry’s hands ran under your shirt and then back down to your hips to guide you, a path he repeated over and over again and you weren’t complaining. You loved the feeling of his hands on your body. You were resting fully on his chest, your nipples hard under your shirt as you ground yourself against him, your forearms resting on the pillow behind his head for leverage.

When his hips bucked up into yours, you couldn’t help but rasp his name, a “Harry,” falling from your lips with ease. You trailed your lips down his neck in response, pushing at the neck of his shirt to find the spot at the base of his neck where you sucked harshly. His fingers pressed tighter on your hips and you smiled against his skin. “Like that?” You asked, licking over the mark you’d made.

“Yeah,” he said, rolling your hips over his. You could feel how hard he was through your pajama shorts and his jeans and you were curious. Living with him you’d seen him in just his briefs and the occasional swimsuit when he was heading to the pool with friends, but you’d never seen him fully nude. However, you had a pretty good idea of his size and you couldn’t say you weren’t eager.

Slowly, you inched your hand down his chest, digging your nails into his skin through his shirt, loving the noises that spilled from his mouth at the feeling. When your hand reached his jeans, though, he pulled at your wrist, ripping you away. “What?”

“I wanna do you,” he said. “You were talking earlier about oral and now I’m curious where I fall on the scale.”

He was going to kill you, wasn’t he? “Okay,” you told him, pressing your palm into his torso. “Where do you want to be?”

“Bed,” he replied, nudging at your nose. “Let’s see how much that new bed creaks.”

You pushed up off of him, and he followed you to your bed with his hands on your hips, tugging you back into his chest mid-way through the way to kiss you again, pulling a gasp from your throat when he surprised you. When you pushed open your door, for the first time there was no point in closing it behind you because the only other person who could have seen what was happening was already in the room with you. Harry’s body mirrored yours as you stepped backwards towards your bed, following you as you fell onto the duvet that you had placed there only a matter of hours earlier.

You wanted his skin, to see him and feel him in this way, and so you pushed at the hem of his shirt, the word, “Off,” sticking in your throat when he pulled it up and off of his body, tossing it to the side without consequence. Bare skin stretched in front of you, covered in swirlings of black ink that you had seen before, but never like this. Never when it was yours to see, to touch, to feel. So you took full advantage, sliding your palms up his chest as he leaned back down.

“Your turn,” he mumbled, sucking on your nipple through your shirt, your back arching towards his mouth in a silent beg for more. Fingers pressed into the sliver of your stomach that was exposed, and you raised your arms as if to tell he could push it off, which he did, creeping the fabric up your body and leaving kisses in the wake of the hem. Once it was over your head, he licked over your bare nipple and your a wet mewl left your lips.

“H,” you rasped, tugging on the locks of his hair, the strands threading between your fingers.

His head bounced up, the forest green of his irises barely visible, his pupils blown out with desire. “What?”

You opened your legs wider, and Harry smiled devilishly at you, giving your cleavage on final pull with his lips before creeping down your body. You didn’t stop him when he went to tug off your shorts, nor did you stop him when he laid between your legs, or when he licked and sucked and pulled at your inner thighs, making your chest shudder with desperation.

Nor did you stop him when his tongue touched your clit, licking a straight line up from your slit to your bud. Instead, you gasped his name, a curse mixed in falling from your lips, and tugged his head closer to you. He’d collected saliva on his tongue without you realizing it and the wetness of it was running all over your hot skin, a distinct slurping noise filling the air that only made it hotter. You picked up your head and watched in rapture as he licked into you, his curls falling into his face as he moved between your legs.

He alternated between sucking on your clit and swiping at your slit, nudging his tongue into you just to drive you crazy. Which he succeeded in doing, based on how your hips picked up when he did it, chasing the pressure he left in his wake. He was turning you into a mess, a mess only for him, desire and your orgasm falling through you faster than usual. For some reason he had been concerned about how good he was, but now he was between your legs and you didn’t know how you had gone twenty-six years without him. How you had lived with him for a year and never felt him like this, seen him like this—his head tilting up and the sight of your juices on coating his lips and chin, his tongue darting out to taste them.

“So?” He asked, pressing into your plush thighs, his rings leaving an indentation in their wake. “Where do I fit on the scale?”

“You haven’t made me come,” you responded, voice rough, breath catching in your lungs as you tried to inhale properly.

A wicked smile flashed onto his face, and then he brushed his tongue in a circle around your clit, your fingers tightening in his hair. “I’m not done yet.” Then he was back between your legs, drawing mewls and moans from you like it was his job, and there was nothing you could do to stop them. Your eyes fluttered shut and your head fell back against the mattress, back arching as you tried to grind down on his face. You could feel your walls tightening around nothing and you needed something there, a little bit more.

“Your fingers,” you said, picking up your head to look at him. “I need your fingers.”

Harry glanced up at you, before he answered your plea with his touch, not his words. Not being a man for warning, the tips of his forefinger and middle finger brushed at your entrance just once before pushing inside of you, a deep and unrelenting moan flowing from you with ease. “Yeah? That feel good?”

You could tell he liked praise and so you tightened your hold on his hair and muttered a Yes, bringing his lips back to your center as he drove his fingers inside of you at a brutal pace. The sound of his fingers and your wetness echoed in your ears, but the louder sound was Harry’s grunts and moans and curses below you whenever he brought his head up for air. Somehow, he seemed to be enjoying this as much as you, which definitely gave him some bonus points in your book.

“Gonna come for me, Y/N?” His words were rough and deep, a lower octave to his voice you hadn’t heard before, and it made you desperate for him. Your hips pushed down against his hand, craving more inside of you, and that was when the cold metal of his rings brushed your entrance. The coldness against the warmth of your skin felt heavenly and you mewled at the touch, Harry chuckling lightly from where he laid.

You could feel your belly tightening, the tell tale sign of an orgasm quickly approaching, but you needed just barely more from him. You didn’t know what it was, but you needed more. So you asked, a “More, please,” leaving your mouth in a chant.

He was unfazed, doubling his pace inside of you and suckling on your clit repeatedly before letting his lips fall to your entrance, slipping around the taught skin with his tongue to add to the sensation. It had your back arching and you knew you were mere seconds away. “Don’t stop, please, don’t stop,” you called into the room, your grip on his hair lethal as he licked you into your orgasm.

It crashed into you and he fucked you through it with his fingers, sucking and pulling on your bud as you rode his fingers, back arched and a series of curses circling around you. “Beautiful,” you barely heard him mumble into your skin, the low rumble of his voice sending vibrations through you.

Once you’d regained your breath he was crawling up the length of your body, kisses littered across your bare skin. “Fuck,” you said, a chuckle leaving you as you were reacquainted with the sight of his face hovering above you.

“So?” He asked, hands coming to rest on either side of your head. “What’s my rating?”

You tugged at his neck and dropped his body to yours, his lips meeting yours in a cruel fire. You rolled your hips up and wrapped your legs around his waist, shoving him to the side that he rotated, falling to his back and you above him. “You know exactly how good you are,” you told him, licking and pulling at his neck. “You arrogant asshole.”

A laugh rumbled in his chest, his hands coming to sit on your waist as you brushed back and forth on his jeans. “I distinctly remember you asking me not to stop, so I’m going to go with a high rating? Perhaps the best of all the men who have come before me?”

You knew his ego was big enough that you didn’t need to inflate it, but for some reason you did anyways. “You’d be right about that,” you told him, shoving his legs apart so you could sit between them and popping the button on his jeans. “Now, can I fuck you?”

Harry laughed one of his full body laughs, his head raising off the bed at your words. “Yeah, go ahead, sweetheart,” he said once he’d calmed, a smile stretched across his face at the sight of you between his knees.

With a roll of your eyes, you tugged on the denim, pulling it down his legs. “Do you ever wear underwear?” You asked him, pushing the material off the bed and gazing at his erect pink cock resting on his belly.

“Why?”

“Just trying to figure out how you manage to walk around with that thing and no underwear.”

“Oi!” He said, a frown fixing onto his lips at your laughter. “It’s not a thing, it’s my dick and it’s about to be fucking you, so no mean words, hmm?”

When your fingers wrapped around him all of his laughter and complaints were gone with a string of curse words, his hips bucking up at your touch. You pumped him a few times, nosing at his thigh just to rile him up a bit more. He was warm and heavy in your grip. For the most part, you found dicks the same as all body parts, but Harry’s was beautiful in a way few were. It made you even wetter than he had left you and gathered saliva on your tongue, and when you pushed on the tip delicately with your thumbpad and heard him groan, you knew you couldn’t wait any longer.

You pushed up off of the bed and he whined at your absence, but you ignored him. You had a mission. Rifling through your bedside table, you finally landed on the item you were searching for—the handcuffs you’d purchased a few months ago and had been waiting to try out.

Harry’s eyes widened at the clink of the metal and watched as you swung them on your finger, a coy smile on your face. “Remember these?” You asked, moving to the headboard where you threaded through the wrought iron. “Didn’t think I’d forgotten, did you?”

“No,” he said, gulping and raising his wrists to you, pliant as ever.

“Good,” you answered, a kiss to each of his wrists before securing them in the handcuffs, tugging on the chain to make sure it would hold. “Now then.” You re-positioned yourself over his hips, one knee on either side, and trailed your fingers down his chest. “You look so pretty laid out for me like this.”

Harry’s mind was spinning as he gazed up at you. He’d never felt quite like this—so powerless, but so desperate for someone. You’d turned him to mush with just a few touches and he wanted you in a way he had needed few. The handcuffs weren’t what did it, either, it was the way you touched him, the quirk of your smile and your laughter, how you had bucked into his face, how your fingers touched his skin. He didn’t realize until he was underneath you how long he had been waiting to be there at your mercy, willing to take any shred you’d give him.

“You okay?” You asked, voice soft as you touched his cheek.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “I’m okay.”

You leaned down and kissed his chest, before snatching the condom you’d laid out on the duvet. Rolling it down his length he hissed at the touch, but you tried to be gentle, knowing that the handcuffs were probably a lot. Then, you rose up onto your knees, positioning yourself over him, and raised his cock, brushing the tip against your entrance. Your eyes found his as you lowered onto him, a groan leaving both of your chests as you took him.

“Holy shit,” he said as your hips met him, his length fully inside of you. “Shit, Y/N.”

You rocked back and forth on him, your fingernails digging into his chest at the feeling of him fitting so snugly inside of you. “Feels so good,” you mumbled, your words long gone from making sense. It always happened—you lost the ability to think about what you were saying, words becoming a string of consciousness. “So deep, H.”

“Yeah?” You could hear the handcuffs rattling against your headboard as you moved over him, but the bed wasn’t creaking yet, just shifting back and forth. His hips raised up to yours, pushing him deeper inside of you somehow and it made you both moan, deep and unrestrained.

Not having to censor your sounds was a completely different experience and you loved it. Your eyes flickered up to where his wrists were clasped in the handcuffs, his nails digging into his palms, the cross tattoo on his thumb shining in the light of your bedroom. “How do they feel?” You asked, bouncing up and down on him.

He couldn’t answer at first, mind swimming from the tight metal on his wrists and the way you held him inside of you so snugly. His whole body was warm, from his sweat and your touch and just the overwhelming desire rolling through him. “Like them,” he finally got out, because he did. Something about the restraints made it more intense, the fact that he couldn’t touch you, the fact that you were just fucking him like you wanted to. It was making his orgasm rush towards him, a twitching throughout his body he was barely staving off.

“They’re hot,” you said, using your knees you speed up your tempo, needing him faster inside of you. “Like seeing you all tied up.”

Usually you didn’t feel this comfortable this quickly with someone you were hooking up with, but with Harry you knew he would never judge him. You trusted him fully and here, in this room, was no different. “I’m close,” he rasped when you swiveled your hips, brushing him against your g-spot and whining out his name.

“Yeah?” Your fingernails crept down his torso leaving long red marks in their wake. “Wanna see you come, H,” you mumbled, splaying your palms out on his abdomen, which was taut from the pleasure he was trying to hold off.

“Fuck,” he yelled when you clenched down on him, his hips bouncing up immediately, slamming against yours. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” then he was coming, the combination of the cold metal on his wrists leaving him at your mercy and the tightness you held around him combining to send him toppling over the edge.

You bent over, your torso resting on his and fucked yourself on him as best you could, not wanting to overwhelm him but also chasing your own release. The sound of your name on his tongue, a raw and unhinged moan ripping through him from his own sensitivity. “Close,” you said, kissing across his collarbone and blowing softly on the mark you’d left earlier.

The sight of his eyes screwed shut and the panting of his breath, the way his chest heaved as he tried to calm down, mixed with him begging for you to find your release left you squirming above him, body rattling with your orgasm. You clenched down on him as you came and he grunted at the feeling, but you couldn’t stop it, a call of his name leaving your mouth.

It left you worn-out and desperate for cuddles, so you reached up, unfastening the handcuffs and releasing his wrists. His hands found your skin immediately, hooking them around your back and pulling you flush. You lifted up off of him so that he could pull the condom off and you whimpered at the loss. “Tired,” you mumbled into his chest.

“S’okay,” he replied, kissing the top of your forehead. “You good?”

“Yeah,” you answered, shutting your eyes against his skin. “How was that?”

He let out a breath, taut and tight in the room. “Fucking insane,” he answered, and you giggled next to him as he pinched your ass lightly. “You’ve been hiding that from me for all this time, huh?”

“Guess so.”

He chuckled, nudging your forehead with his chin. “Think you might want to do that again sometime?”

You picked up your head, opening your eyes to look at him. “Sure I didn’t scare you off with the handcuffs?”

“Fuck no,” he replied in a rush. “Blew my mind.”

“Then yeah,” you told him. “As long as it’s my turn next.”

One of his eyebrows quirked up, and then a grin spread across his face. “Your turn, eh?”

His red-tinged wrists wrapped around you and smothered you in kisses, your hands batting at his body in a fit of laughter, but he didn’t quit. Instead, he pulled you close, a final press of his lips to your cheek, and you settled in against his body, knowing he’d be there in the morning.

He was your roommate, after all—where else did he have to be?

thank you for reading!!!! please go check out the other writers in the bificathon here, reblog this fic, and come chat with me in my inbox about this fic if you liked it. xoxo love you all!

[tomhiddlestonfanfic]

I Can Ease Your Pain Chapter Five

NUMBER OF CHAPTERS: 5/5 (Chapter Index)

WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Doctor Tom Hiddleston

GENRE: Drama, Hurt/Comfort (no Romance)

SONG: Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd (with Bowie) (with Cumberbatch)

PICTURE CREDIT: Banner made by the amazing @prislaa 

WARNINGS: self-harm, suicidal ideation, depression and anxiety

TAGLIST: @sleutherclaw​ @christineblood​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​

AUTHOR’S NOTE: If you think any of the subjects in this story might have a negative effect on your well-being, please DO NOT read this story. Take care of yourself and don’t worry; you can check out some of my other fics instead that don’t have those warnings on them. Love, F.

SUMMARY You’re an awfully shy and quite awkward person. After an incident at an acquaintance’s party, a close friend takes you to the hospital to get you stitched up from a self-inflicted injury. At the hospital, you’re faced with a choice that might just change your life forever.

Chapter Five: Get You on Your Feet Again

Friday came and you felt more than ready to leave the psychiatric ward. You had looked forward to what would be your last meeting with your doctor. You knew you were going to miss seeing him every now and then, but you accepted that it was part of the process. You were now well enough to go back home, and there were other people in a greater need of professional help than you who needed your bed at the ward.

“[Your name]. It’s good to see you,” Tom greeted you with a warm smile as he let you into his office.

“It’s good to see you too,” you replied and smiled back at him. “I wrote a haiku,” you added and handed him a post-it note with a short poem on it. He read it and looked genuinely impressed.

“It’s brilliant,” he praised and you felt your cheeks grow warm. “It really captures the feeling of being depressed. Would you mind if I kept this?” Tom wondered eagerly.

“You can keep it,” you confirmed and his smile widened.

“Thank you so much. You know what? There is this writing class I’ve signed up for,” he said and pulled out a drawer and grabbed a piece of paper from it. He handed you the paper and you saw that it was a flyer for a writing class. “It starts in two weeks and will be on Thursday evenings. I would be delighted if I saw a familiar face there.”

“That sounds really nice,” you replied but frowned slightly. “But are you allowed to do this?”

Tom smiled at you and nodded. “Since you will no longer be my patient, I don't see any problems with it. After all, I’m allowed to spend my free time however I like. If you happen to attend the same evening class as I do, then so be it.” 

You smiled in response and glanced down at the paper again. Now you had something you really looked forward to. It would be exciting to share your works with other people who also enjoyed writing. And the fact that Tom would be there too, only made it better.

A few weeks after your discharge, you went to the writing class your former doctor had told you about. Tom’s smile widened at the sight of you and he walked up to greet you properly.

“[Your name]! I’m so glad you came!” he said enthusiastically.

“Hi Tom. It’s good to see you,” you replied with a smile. It felt good to see him in an entirely different context than as a patient in a psychiatric ward. Here, there was no power imbalance between you. Here, you were simply peers with a common interest.

“It’s good to see you too, [your name],” Tom replied and pulled you into a friendly hug. You wrapped your arms around him in response and smiled. You felt genuinely happy to have found a way to keep him in your life, and if you had interpreted the hug correctly, the feelings were mutual.

[charming-2d-boys]

We back! This is the anon who shared the idea of Chrollo dating Hisokas twin. Can I get some of how you think dinner would go? Format is your choice!

Oh oh oh, hi! 🙋

Yeah, I remember!

This is the ask in question, for those wanting to know the context 😄

Thanks for requesting and please enjoy it! 🙇💕

A/N: I might’ve changed a few things here and there, hopefully it’s nothing too drastic 🙇

Word count: 1753

Parts: Two, Three ...

Not you again! - Chrollo x Reader (feat. Twin!Hisoka)

   If he was being honest, one of the first things Chrollo noticed about you were your eyes - golden, sometimes like the sunset, other times like honey. He loved looking into your eyes and seeing those little specks of actual gold in them. It always reminded him of the gold in the treasures the Troupe had stolen.

   Paired with your smile and your personality that attracted him like a magnet, Chrollo could honestly say that pursuing you was one of his best decisions yet. Of course, he couldn’t be 100% honest with you and just spill everything about himself. But he did realise that with you, it was a give-and-take relationship. And also a pretty honest one - not your boyfriend’s style at all. You’d tell him things about yourself, but he’d have to do the same thing. And he had to be truthful - after all, he did try to lie to you... it didn’t work and you didn’t speak with him for an entire week until he apologised.

   Now, he wasn’t going to pour all of his thoughts and insecurities to you just because of that. But his curiosity about you would often win and he’d end up saying something personal in return. Which he didn’t really mind, not anymore, at least. He knew you weren’t the type to just go and talk about unnecessary things with others – despite knowing who he was and what he was doing, for the most part. When you heard that it was illegal, you told him to not tell you anything unless he had to. That was something Chrollo liked about you, mostly because he didn’t want you to be too involved into the Troupe’s business. But being able to talk to you so freely without too many worries and being vulnerable around you as time passed seemed natural.

   You felt the same, especially when you told him that the only person who might want to know him was your brother – seeing as your relationship was going on and stronger. From everything you’d told him, he seemed like more of a lone wolf and someone who people tended to avoid – though you stuck by his side like glue and vice versa. Even you had a lot of fights with him, even now, as adults. But he was your twin brother and you loved him, as much of an idiot as he was. Which made your boyfriend chuckle.

   Right now, you and Chrollo were on the couch, hanging out. Though there was something different about him. He was upset and when you asked him for a reason, he only told you that he had lost a few friends. You thought there might’ve been something more, but you left it at that, instead consoling him as best as you could. Your boyfriend deemed the temporary inability of using his Nen and the Judgment Chain bound to his heart – that could kill him if he broke any of the set conditions – as part of the “unnecessary things” that he didn’t want to tell you. Worrying you was one of the last things he wanted to do anyway. Good thing you weren’t a Spider and that your home always felt like some sort of a safe haven – blending in perfectly and without standing out. Plus, you were always careful – Chrollo thought that was just who you were and never asked.

   “So, what do you think about dinner on Saturday at my place? I really want the two of you to meet already. Ever since he heard about me having a boyfriend, he’s been on my case and I might love him, but I’m going to kill him soon.” Chrollo laughed, thinking that this might not be so bad as he agreed. He was charming and always got on pretty much everyone’s good side. He was sure that your brother wouldn’t be any different.

   Unbeknownst to him, you hadn’t told your brother anything, not even Chrollo’s name. And you hadn’t told your boyfriend what your brother’s name was either. Unfortunately, Hisoka’s name was infamous among Nen users and pretty much any potential partner… ran for the hills when they heard it. Plus, you’d had issues in the past with people who wanted to fight or get their revenge against Hisoka – and somehow found your home. You’d get rid of them quickly, of course, but you’d learnt your lesson. You both kept your secrets to yourselves when you wanted to and wouldn’t let go of them, not even to one another. He might’ve been your brother, but he was an annoying and persistent one at that. Good thing he wasn’t in town yet – on a mission with some friend of his or something – otherwise he might’ve come right then and there.

   That Saturday night, both you and your boyfriend were making the last preparations for dinner. With how often he left, you’d forgotten how much fun cooking with Chrollo was. On the nights where neither of you were too tired, he’d gradually pull you into a slow dance while the food was left to simmer or cook. It was always relaxing and he’d always twirl you around at least once before leaning you backwards, only to pull you back in for a kiss. Those nights were honestly the best.

   Chrollo had just finished bringing the food to the table while you were trying to open a bottle of wine, only to spill a little on your shirt. Right then, the doorbell rang and you sighed.

   “I’m going to change my shirt. Can you get the door, please? And don’t kill each other while I’m gone!” You said loudly as your boyfriend chuckled and walked towards the entrance. What greeted him on the other side left both him and your brother with wide eyes and pretty much frozen.

   “You… ♣” Hisoka’s voice died in his throat as he stared at his “former boss”, who quickly regained his composure as he stared at the magician’s attire.

   “So you’re the infamous twin… Should’ve known it was you when I saw their eyes the first time. Hmm… dark red suits you.” Chrollo commented as he inspected Hisoka’s clothes and lack of make-up – so different from what he was used to.

   “Chrollo! What’s taking you so long? Oh, hi, Hiso! Long time no see!” You greeted your brother as you came behind you boyfriend, finally dressed in a clean shirt. Hisoka’s eyes moved to you before Chrollo moved aside, letting your twin get inside. You guided him to the table as soon as he took his shoes off, asking him about how he’d been and such. Hisoka’s answers were short and gave almost nothing away, his attention somehow on Chrollo and his movements. Both of them were quiet, but you chalked it up to nerves. Even during dinner, the two of them said nothing to one another and you were left talking – more like being interrogated – by your twin brother.

   “How long have you been together for? ♣”

   “A couple of months now.”

   “Why didn’t you tell me? ♣”

   “Maybe because it’s none of your business who I date? I’m an adult, too, you know? I can make my own decisions.”

   “But why him? ♣ Of all people! ♣”

   “Hiso, that’s rude. I don’t judge your dates, so don’t do it to me either.” Chrollo seemed amused by how childish Hisoka was acting. “What’s so funny?” You asked, smiling at your boyfriend. He only shook his head, grabbing onto your hand that was on the table.

   “Nothing, love. It’s just funny seeing the two of you banter.” Hisoka felt like he’d pop a vessel. This guy, the leader of the Phantom Troupe, now useless because of the Judgement Chain on his heart, was your boyfriend? Just the thought of his opportunity for a fight with Chrollo being so close and also the fact that you were with him made his emotions feel mixed up. But he had no interest in Chrollo, now that he couldn’t use his Nen. But at the same time, he couldn’t just stand by and watch you be with him. Who knew what he was planning?

   What if he was only using you?

   What if he would kill you when he had no use for you anymore?

   What would he do if you were gone and it was all because of Chrollo?

   “Hiso, are you okay?” You asked, worried about the glare your brother had set on your boyfriend and his silence. He only nodded and the three of you continued to eat. You guessed your brother was just worried about you, which was sweet. Though it was clear he didn’t really like Chrollo. You were sure he’d come to like him in time.

   “The food was great. ♥️️” Hisoka complimented you, seemingly in a slightly better mood now that he’d eaten.

   “And I have dessert as well. I made your favourite. I’ll go get it.” You quickly kissed Chrollo’s cheek before taking all the plates – you refused to let any of them help – and going to the kitchen.

   “If you hurt them in any way… ♣” Hisoka said in a low voice, eyes almost ablaze with how he felt: confusion, anger, fear – all for your safety.

   “I don’t plan on hurting them, I assure you.” There was silence for a while as you were bustling about, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and taking clean plates and cutlery for the dessert. “I managed to acquire a copy of Greed Island. Unfortunately, you need to use Nen in order to be able to play it, otherwise I would’ve done this myself. If you can find a Nen Exorcist and remove the chain user’s ability, I’ll fight you.” Chrollo saw the little glint in Hisoka’s eyes return, knowing that there was indeed a chance to finally fight the Spider. Maybe then you’d find a better boyfriend.

   “Here, I hope you’ve missed it, Hiso. Have you tried this before, Chrollo?” You brought the plates and started sharing the sweets to each one of you before taking your seat next to Chrollo. Your boyfriend shook his head before accepting a spoonful from you.

   “Tastes great, love. You’ll have to teach me the recipe some time.” He immediately felt Hisoka’s glare on him and he smirked as he glanced at your twin.

   Really now, how did he not realise that you were related? Those golden eyes that you had were also glaring at him from the other side of the table. Good thing the one he cared about only showed their love for him with those eyes.

[disfordevineaux]

Character Parallels: Chase vs Julia

First off, let me start with:

SEASON 3 SPOILER WARNING.

This is somewhat a continuation from my original Chase Devineaux Case Study I did a while back. Feel free to read it to fully understand the context behind my opinions and thoughts on Chase, Julia and such discussed below. Let’s begin.

Although Season 3 was short, it was still a season that provided us with a new potential story catalyst to propel the plot in the form of major character development.

A bit of context:

Throughout the series, Chase Devineaux was always sceptical and often outright against the idea that Carmen Sandiego could have ulterior motives (due to his ill-fated meetings with the said person driving that home and on the surface she literally is stealing), an idea his previous partner, Julia Argent, was the spokesperson for. To quote a long story short, Chase was not too pleased or in agreement with the idea proposed by Julia: Carmen Sandiego isn’t the real enemy. Others shunned this idea too (Zari & Chief) and consistently was never outright ‘proved’ from a physical evidence standpoint. Both stood on opposite ends of the ‘who really is Carmen Sandiego’ spectrum. This was the major theme of division between Chase and Julia, a plot point further driven by the unlucky streak he suffered when dealing with Team Red, and VILE. Mostly he, and ACME, could not separate the entities completely, even up until the end of Season 3.

In the S03E04, ‘The Masks of Venice Caper’, after 3 seasons of being moments away from Carmen Sandiego at every step, Chase succeeds. After a long and clearly exhausting chase throughout the streets of Venice, he is able to finally catch up.

He leaps aboard after making the jump and officially bears witness to the handing over of goods, something which Julia was only ever afforded. Chase is blindsided at her easy surrender, simple innocent explanation and instantly clean escape. He does not go after her, instead stands bewildered at what she said, leaving him with the important line of: ‘Jules would understand’, (because she would with her prior knowledge and experience), to digest what just occurred.

This was not what he was expecting, as on other occasions they met him with hostility or evasion without explanation. Instead, he is treated as if he were Julia, filling the role as a substitute, as she is no longer on the scene to be the recipient of the ‘handoff’. At this moment, thanks to Carmen’s finale line, it all clicks. Previous conversations run through his mind, visibly questioning, as he makes the connection before being interrupted by Agent Zari, congratulating him on stopping the robbery.

The confirmation that he finally gets it is reaffirmed by a theme of a ‘silent partner’ which he now uses himself with commenting, awkwardly, that ‘I did not do it alone’ (A call back to S01E09, see below). This is the formal affirmation that he now understands that Carmen is not the enemy. There was no way he would have ever connected the dots without visual verification, experiencing it for himself first hand, a situation Julia experienced multiple times by fortune, something people forget when watching him grapple with his inability to detain the ‘thief’. Julia was provided with many chances throughout season 1-2 to work with or in situational coincidence with Carmen and aid in the protection of potential goods in harm’s way. (Most notably S02E04)

Julia’s departure, though disappointing to fans (and myself), was a crucial plot device to enable Chase to be finally exposed to the events which would lead him to change his mind for the better. Unless by some miracle he was chosen as the recipient of Team Red’s well wishes with Julia on the scene and/or in tow, it would have taken far longer for the realisation to be made. An understanding that is only able to be fully recognised by Julia and Chase. The only two people around long enough and familiar enough with Carmen Sandiego and the entire case to be in any position to come to the right conclusion about her intentions.

As many may say, seeing is believing. And seeing was what he needed to believe, both Chase and Julia needing that direct witnessing to understand. Seems the red lining of his original coat meant something after all.

(Do note: Julia was more inclined and susceptible to a conflicting opinion due to her heightened observation skills from the get-go but still needed visual confirmation, which she got, to stand strong with her diverging opinion on Carmen Sandiego.)

The Parallels:

In the next and final episode of S03E05, "The Jolly Good Show Caper", we are greeted with a callback to S01E03’s episode "The Sticky Rice Caper". Instead of Chase and Julia being on their way to interrogate Gray in the Paris Interpol office, Agent Zari and Chase are walking through the halls of the Italian Interpol office to interrogate their latest captured VILE operative, Neal the Eel. From a clearly visual standpoint (see below), the makeup of the scene and placement of characters is a direct callback to the dynamic between both Chase and Julia, and now between Chase and Zari.

S01E03 VS S03E05

Chase now takes the place of Julia, physically and mentally, who listens to a rundown of the situation, proposes a vague counter-argument which is disregarded by Zari. Chase is now wanting to look beneath the surface of the robbery or incident (like Julia always did), unlike before. Similar to the situation in S01E03, Zari is unwavering in her opinion that Carmen and the new detainee are in cahoots, Chase stating that his previous statement was merely ‘entertaining all possible angles’, a comment he further elaborates on to Chief at the end of the episode.

S03E05:

S01E03:

After coming to the interrogation room, Zari dramatically pushes it open in the same style as Chase did seasons earlier, halting her statement to reveal the suspect has ‘escaped’. Zari is stumped, Chase not too phased at this revelation and quickly checks the documents to understand what has occurred, once again.

S03E05

S01E03

Chase again, takes the stance of the ‘Julia’, all-knowing and proceeds to correctly recount the possible scenario that they have found themselves in, having experienced this once before. This ‘recounting of events’ is confirmed to the audience by Chase’s voice monologuing of sorts over an escaping by boat, Neal.

S03E05

S01E03

This scene is interesting for obvious reasons: it’s a direct call back to a later episode and the dynamic within. It is also a pivotal moment we see that Chase was always fully aware of what is happening around him, and really only required the correct pieces to fall into his lap at all the right times to now be the new ‘Julia’ in the dynamic. That style of a sequence of events is what helped Julia see the truth in Carmen’s actions in the first place. Chase has always been cognizant of the events around him, even if they could be contradictory to his main beliefs. Actively choosing not to present it to the audience, in favor of the popular opinion presented by and through ACME, their agents their leader that Carmen Sandiego is the enemy. Half of this being pressure, wanting to succeed in his work, gain praise for it and lack thereof witnessing first hand some sort of ‘positive’ reaffirmation of Carmen’s good intentions and that he really thought he was right. We see this through his sheer self disappointment and embarrassment when facing Chief after mistakes he had no true control over.

Towards the end of the same episode. Carmen is ‘captured’ in London. Agent Zari and Chase receive this development while travelling, Chase jumping out of his seat surprised, shocked, concerned that she was detained saying ‘that is terrible!’. Zari is notable taken aback, Chase quickly tries to collect himself and adjusts his statement and ends with ‘that. we were not the ones to make the arrest.’ Time has passed since the escape of Neal, Chase left to stew with his changing opinions and it clearly appears as if he no longer wishes for Carmen’s capture in the traditional sense, knowing that what she has been doing, is not criminally based. It’s unsure what his plans are when facing Carmen once again, but it at the very least no longer her capture.

Not only are Chase and Julia’s mindsets on the same path, but Chase is also no longer the driver between the pair. A fun nod to how Chase always drove, if dangerously at times.

After events unfold, Chase and Zari soon discover the planted crown jewels in Roundabouts office after a tip off, they run to retrieve them and Chase stops to glance out the window, witnessing Carmen Sandiego flying away from the scene. This is important, if a small detail, in once again showing us he has changed. He is far more observant and is the new candidate to witness the usual things Julia would if she were there. He stopped, was in the right place at the right time, recognised first hand the role Carmen plays in the grand scene of things, as a protector who runs interference.

When things have seemingly been resolved, Chase and Zari are in conference with Chief who details how she deems that it was all an elaborate plan where Roundabout and Carmen were in cahoots. In what is shown to be his first moment ever displaying his new and differing opinions to Chief on the events prior, he details how, maybe, Carmen left the items here for them to discover purposefully. Chief glares at him silently, Chase displaying an awkward reluctant smile, then ignores his opinion moving on. She informs him that it is his job to interrogate Roundabout for answers on how Carmen is connected to him, disregarding his prior though they are not united until Zari receives a phone call. They are informed that Roundabout never reached the destination and has escaped.

S03E05

A Sum Up:

In conclusion, Chase has officially changed opinions on Carmen Sandiego and has fallen into the role Julia left for him when she departed from ACME. Even with the pre-existing knowledge of the hacking by Player and all other indiscretions against him perpetrated by Team Red. He has been through a journey and come out the end with a new perspective

Agent Zari has now acted as both Julia’s and now Chase’s, well ‘Chase’, when it comes to the dynamic of the pairing. In many instances when consulting Chief, Julia has been informed to essentially ‘do her job’ or is only half-listen too, in a subtle way, instead of coming up with theories that don’t necessarily correlate with the majority. This all comes ahead in S03E02 ‘The Day of the Dead Caper’, where Chief is finally blunt with Julia (see below). The same thing has now befallen Chase (see below), except with little to no lead up to instant rejection. All of Chief’s patience for differing opinions was used up, all on Julia it appears.

S03E05

S03E02

The summation of all this produces a new defender of Carmen Sandiego; Chase Devineaux. The likely future outcome will be Chase attempting to contact, seek an audience with Carmen as Julia once attempted, and would succeeded in part from time to time. It is unlikely how well this will go considering Chase and is usually outwardly expressive with his determination to arrest her. One can only hope he is given a chance to rectify his past miscalculations and is able to further support these new set beliefs to ACME, Carmen Sandiego and himself. 

One can also hope Julia returns, maybe by a proposition from Chase, who will no doubt have trouble enacting his new purpose of true justice, and seeking answers/help from Carmen Sandiego. This would also promote a chance for an adult discussion, an apology, one sorely lacking in Season 3 between them. With this new air of familiarity between their opinions on Carmen, a rare opinion it appears, a chance for a reformation of a proper team dynamic is possible.

They lacked a connection throughout season 1 and 2 which aided in their bitter union, both full-heartedly, if not realised or intentional, determined to have their opinion victorious over the other to themselves and to those around them. Chase far more openly critical and cynical, Julia keeping such comments more hidden and modest, but also far more willing to stand up for herself to and in front of Chief. (Prominent examples seen in S02E02,4 & 8, S03E02) Chase was aware of his poor behaviour but found it justified in a sense that he truly believed she was misguided, that he was correct about Carmen Sandiego, now knowing she clearly was right all along. (This does not excuse/justify his rudeness in any sense, but can explain it.)

They would be a great team, now finally on the same page but unfortunately separated. Julia has the nohow and Chase possess the drive to make it happen. They do share those traits, each more natural at one over the other. Neither are willing to give up without a fair fight, and proudly declare and justify themselves at every turn, both proud individuals. (Julia far more modest in comparison). If they worked together, who knows the possibilities, if they can change ACME’s stance on Carmen Sandiego or if they decide to abandon it altogether and aid the other fighter of VILE, Team Red. Either way, it was clear Julia could not do it all on her own and I’m sure we will see Chase realise and suffer the same fate. Hopefully reasoning that he needs help, not getting it to form anyone else, remembering Julia, seeking her out and bringing her back to ACME.

Her reason for leaving ACME was that her heart was no longer in it, her passion snubbed out. Her work now directly contradicts her beliefs which are doubted by all those around her at every turn.

A sad but visibly true thing as no one else in ACME was willing to consider her way any longer, her opinion not shared by anyone else, a very demoralising thing to go through. She was always fighting and standing up on her own.

With Chase now sharing this opinion, the burden of seeing and knowing the truth, it will be easier to stand behind with full conviction, to attempt to highlight the innocence Carmen Sandiego has hidden in plain sight, together. Only time will tell how it all plays out.

[needsmoresleepwrites]

He was in his second year of university when he met Reigen (ReiMob, same age AU)

One Semester

Read on Ao3

Mob wouldn't really describe himself as insecure. Or at least not anymore.

He remembers his middle school years and how he'd always stutter and choke on his thoughts and words, especially anything regarding his childhood sweetheart Tsubomi. But there were many events in his short esper life that had helped him grow and before he knew it, he'd graduated high school and finally started university, and all of those insecurities had stayed in his past. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't insecure sometimes even as an adult. Sometimes, when his new friends would invite him out, he'd stand in front of his bedroom mirror and ponder what to wear, unsure if he should put more effort into his looks. At other times, when, as Ekubo so kindly assured him he was being hit on he'd feel a flush on his face, confused as to why this could be true, and he'd once more trip over his words, but it was nothing compared to how he felt now

He was in his second year of university when he met Reigen

Normally, their classes wouldn't overlap since Reigen was a senior and in the business department, and Mob was still taking beginner classes as an undecided major, but they'd somehow picked the same elective course, and, Reigen with his affability, had pretty much charmed everyone. Especially Mob

So much that during their first month of classes together, Mob was sure he'd never been more embarrassed. His being an esper wasn't exactly a secret and he'd never particularly enjoyed showing off, especially after Tsubomi had lost interest in his powers, so he had kind of panicked when he'd lost a bit of control and made all the desks in the room float. Not even Ekubo's voice had been able to penetrate the haze he'd apparently been in. It was Reigen's exclamation that had brought him back to Earth, and with him, the desks as well, all of them falling with roaring thuds. Luckily nobody had been hurt, but Mob had been so sick, he'd missed the rest of his classes and even decided to skip the next day

He remembers Ritsu at his door trying to coax him out

Ekubo was the one who managed to get Mob back to class, that business kid, the one you like, he wants to see you

He really didn't want to, but he was also curious. His heart was racing, not just from the nervousness of seeing the guy he was currently crushing on (he remembers Ekubo's shocked face when Mob blushed during their introduction on their first day. He'd gone over to him and nearly screamed, Are you serious?! This one?!), but from the uncertainty of their conversation. What did Reigen want to tell him? Why did he want to see him? Was he mad? Upset? He was in business, Mob wasn't sure what career path, but perhaps he...Mob felt something get stuck in his throat...wanted to s-sue him? Damages? He vaguely remembers something similar happening when he was younger

Trying to figure out the reason was tougher than a test question with the "all or none of the above" option. Ekubo just picked his nose, claiming he didn't know either. He'd just heard the kid asking about Mob, but no he didn't seem upset

Mob had somehow sat through his classes, all of them, even as he felt a penetrating gaze at his back. After his classes, he'd walked to the quad and sat at a bench by the library entrance, waiting

"Mob!" he heard his name called out and when he looked up, there he was

Mob hadn't known Reigen for long, but the few times he'd seen him, Reigen was always wearing a suit. He'd never understood adults who wore them. They seemed constricting and stuffy, but the way Reigen looked in his suits somehow fit. The suits also made him look a bit older, more precise, and when he spoke, it seemed to give him more authority. People always listened to him, enraptured, not just by his voice but his body language, the flow of his hands, his confident stare

By then, perhaps because it was near the end of the day, the sun was nearly setting, Reigen had changed. He wasn't wearing a suit. Instead, he wore a white t-shirt and some grey sweatpants, a pair of sneakers on his feet. His hair was also slightly messy and Mob wasn't sure which Reigen he liked best, this one that looked softer and his rightful age, or the suited and more mature one

He barely registered Ekubo's, ugh, I'm heading home

"Hey," Reigen greeted him and Mob only nodded, then reminded himself that this was his chance to properly speak with him!

"H-Hi," he stuttered and felt his cheeks flush. Reigen only grinned

"I'm glad you came back to class. I thought maybe you'd drop the course. You seemed kind of...well, not okay that day when you left." There was an unspoken question in the air and Mob felt his body heat up remembering what happened. He swallowed the lump in his throat

"I'm o-okay," he assured, "I don't normally..." he made vague movements with his hands, "I was just d-distracted. It won't..." he took a deep breath to calm himself, "It won't happen again."

Reigen seemed to deflate a bit, "Wait, seriously? But that was so cool!"

Mob felt his heart skip a beat but he stayed firm, "I could have hurt someone."

Reigen frowned slightly, not upset, more so thoughtfully. He angled his hips for a moment, his hand on his chin, and then straightened out with a smile, "Hey, I know! Why don't you practice your powers with me!"

Mob could feel this was a bad idea, but the way Reigen's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and knowing that they'd be interacting more if he said yes...

"O-okay," was his mumbled reply

----

After that, the two of them saw each other more frequently "to train" Mob's esper powers. He actually had stopped using his powers in middle school, preferring to hone his body and mind (or at least attempt to), which is probably why he struggled with some of the tasks Reigen gave him. Or perhaps it was because it was Reigen talking to him, smiling at him, touching his arm, throwing his arm around his shoulder, taking him out to eat, that had Mob at his limits. But if anything good came out of this, and Mob could list a few things, it was that Mob got used to Reigen. He still felt himself get nervous around the confident man, but at least he could speak without stuttering

The activities that Reigen came up with were usually childish and easy (like the time Reigen had Mob levitate some desks while he played loud music and sang along. He remembers Ekubo screaming about his ears and ok, Mob had to admit that Reigen couldn't hold a tune but he'd found it cute so while his ears did hurt for a bit, it was worth it. Or the time Reigen tried to tickle him while he concentrated on making water bubbles, except he wasn't ticklish. Mob would have counted this as a victory but then Ekubo went ahead and loudly exclaimed, careful, he's going to put his hands into your pants and Reigen's hands were a bit close to the edge of his pants and his concentration completely unbalanced and the water bubbles splashed them both. Ekubo couldn't stop laughing at how red Mob had gotten), so instead of training, Mob would often feel like they were just...hanging out

Ekubo would just roll his eyes, Shigeo, sometimes I wonder how you're twenty, you're so naive

He didn't really understand what Ekubo was trying to tell him but he knew these feelings for Reigen weren't "naive" or at least not always. He remembered the time Reigen, so perceptive, had noticed that Mob often "spaced out". Reigen had been slurping on some noodles, the broth getting all over his face and some, Mob noticed, sprinkling onto the table they sat at. "Not sure what's going on, but it's like, you're going to think I'm crazy, but it seems like you're listening to someone talk to you."

And Mob had confessed that that was exactly what he'd been doing. Reigen nearly choked from the excitement on his face, "Ghosts are real?! Can I talk to him?"

Ekubo hadn't liked the idea. For some reason, he'd never particularly liked Reigen and Mob had yet to figure out why, If he can't see me, he can't see me. Probably doesn't have even a spark of power. Mob had relayed the message and Reigen had just shrugged. He'd seemed nonchalant about the topic, but Mob, after spending so many evenings with him, had noticed the slight droop of his frame

After eating, the two decided to walk back to the dorms, but right before parting, Mob had taken Reigen's hand. Reigen had just looked at him curiously and Mob hoped and prayed his hands wouldn't suddenly start sweating too much, "I have an idea."

Mob pushed some of his own power into Reigen. He wasn't sure if it would work, but it was because of his own power that Ritsu's had manifested. Perhaps Ekubo was right and Reigen didn't have any abilities, but perhaps he did. Or perhaps he could temporarily share his own, just a tiny bit

Reigen's eyes grew wide as he felt Mob's esper powers flow into him and he couldn't help the grin and exclamation that escaped his lips, "He's a green blob! Can I touch him?"

Without waiting for a response or releasing Mob's hand, Reigen reached out towards Ekubo, who was Not Amused, "Hey! Hands off kid!" he floated behind Mob, "Shigeo, keep him away or I'll possess him!"

"Shigeo?" Reigen tilted his head, "He calls you by your first name?"

Mob felt his hand warm at the sound of his name coming from Reigen. He knew Reigen wasn't technically calling him but just hearing his name coming from his crush...he felt the butterflies again. Butterflies that quickly turned into a burning sensation as he imagined Reigen calling him Shigeo in a different context. He pulled his hand away and wiped them on his pants, having felt them start to sweat and become clammy. His face was red, he could feel it, but could also feel Ekubo's stare, Reigen's stare...it was too much and he excused himself. It was late, he had to go to bed, they had class the next morning

----

Sharing his power with Reigen was experimental. He hadn't ever done that before and he wasn't sure what the consequences would be. In the end, Reigen develops the ability to see Ekubo without Mob's help. There aren't any other spirits in the area so they can't really test out if perhaps Reigen can see or sense others. They decide that can be an experiment for another day. Instead, Reigen tries to befriend Ekubo, which doesn't exactly turn out well, but the two of them are civil. Mob is glad since Ekubo is his friend and Reigen, well, he likes Reigen

They become busier with school work as the semester starts coming to an end. All the teachers have surely conspired and Mob has too many final projects to go out with Reigen like they used to. This also means Reigen is busier since he's also taking his business core classes.

On the night of their last class, Reigen sends him a text, meet me at the quad

Mob checks the time, it's almost midnight, but he doesn't hesitate to put on a hoodie, slip on the closest pair of jeans, and head out. The moon is bright as he walks the block to the quad and a few people walk past him, taking a night stroll or heading home after a night of last-minute submissions. He doesn't pay much attention to them and when he finally reaches the quad, he sees a figure sitting on the ground, looking up at the sky. Reigen is wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. There's a curious design on the shirt that reminds Mob of Ekubo and he wonders if maybe Reigen bought it because of that. He smiles

"Reigen," he calls out, announcing his presence. Reigen leans back, tilting his head and smiles, patting the space beside him. Mob sits down, listens to the night creatures and the sound of the few cars passing by the school, the engines quiet and almost soothing. A few voices reach them but they are far enough away where the words don't register. It's a peaceful night

There is a sense of dread building in Mob's stomach. They only really started to hang out when they started taking this class, when Mob showed his powers, and while he now had Reigen's contact information, a part of him wondered if this was the end. Maybe Reigen wouldn't want to hang out with him anymore.

Mob wasn't usually this pessimistic but Ekubo had been kind enough to remind him that Reigen, if anything, was only interested in his powers, And you already showed him all you can do. He's probably gotten bored. For a moment, Mob wishes he had used his powers when he was younger, done what Ritsu and Ekubo had told him, but it's a thought that comes and goes. The use of his powers was something he has always been firm about and while these last few weeks have been fun and nothing has happened, Ritsu is the prime example that something can always go bad

After a while, Reigen finally speaks and Mob thinks that maybe there's sadness in his voice, "Today was the last day of classes, submissions too. Gah! I can't believe they didn't give us until the weekend, grades aren't even due until a few weeks from now."

"They do have to grade everything," he commented, not especially caring about the topic. If he had more time, there really wouldn't have been much of a difference

Reigen lets himself fall onto the ground, "I doubt they actually grade everything. There's too much!"

He's not expecting an answer and Mob doesn't really know what to say so they end up in silence again but only for a moment. Reigen turns to him, "Lay down next to me."

Mob feels himself grow warm under his sweater but does as Reigen says. They both lie on the grass and he knows and feels how close their hands are to touching. Ekubo had decided not to join them and he's glad for that. He's sure he would comment on how Mob is blushing, how loud his heart is beating, how his fingers twitch in anticipation, hoping there will be an excuse, anything, for them to close the distance (but of course, he can't really think of anything, the last time they held hands was because Reigen started running and didn't want to leave Mob behind, before that it was to check and see if Mob had started bleeding after falling, before that to forcefully hand him his payment for the ramen they had after classes, and before that-)

Reigen holds his hand. His hand is clammy and warm and soft, Is he nervous too? His heart is in his throat and ears and maybe even on his palm and he wonders if Reigen can feel it beating so quickly

"Hey Mob," he says softly, he's turned to look at Mob

Mob does the same, "Yes?" And he just stares at Mob for a moment and seems to nod to himself

"I, I don't usually eavesdrop you know," he started, "but I saw you with Ekubo the other day. I heard him saying...I heard him say I only hang out with you because of your powers." Mob feels Reigen squeeze his hand tighter, "So I decided not to see you this past week. I mean, I was also busy with school work and you were too but I was thinking too and I wanted to tell you something."

Mob can't look away and he nods, letting Reigen know he's listening, that he can continue.

Reigen takes a deep breath, "I like you!"

It's so sudden and loud that Mob freezes in place, his pulse skyrocketing, the confession echoing in his mind and he's confused as to how they went from talking about Ekubo and his powers, to suddenly being confessed to. Reigen looks down at their hands and just smiles, moves his fingers away and Mob doesn't want that. He feels like he can breathe again and he nervously grabs Reigen's retreating hand.

It's his turn now, "I-I like you!...too."

It's quiet for a moment and then Reigen laughs, his body relaxes, and he threads their fingers together, "I'm so glad! I'm so happy, can you feel it?" He's moved their hands onto his chest and Mob can feel how fast his heart is beating. Exactly like his

"Mine too," he confesses.

Reigen grins at him, leaves their hands on his chest but rearranges them so that it's more comfortable, "This is the best day," he all but whispers. Mob only catches it because he can't look away

"You know, the first time I saw you, I thought you were so cool," Reigen confesses, "Well, you're still cool but you're also really cute."

Mob feels like he's burning up again, "The time with the desks?"

Reigen turns to him, a bit of a blush on his face, and Mob is fascinated. Reigen doesn't really blush, not even when he gets nervous (not that he gets nervous often, he's very confident and knowledgeable), "Well, about that...actually, this is going to sound kind of weird but...that wasn't the first time I saw you..."

And now Mob is confused because he's pretty sure he would remember someone like Reigen

"You went to Salt Middle School, right?" he doesn't wait for Mob to answer but Mob nods, "Well, I have a friend who went there, and I went to see him. There was some event going on, I just remember a marathon, but he was faking being sick and kind of left me alone. I know, what kind of friend does that, right? Well, I was just walking around and I somehow ended up watching everyone run and then I saw you. Your knee was bleeding but you had this really determined look in your eyes, I think I heard someone say you eventually passed out but I really thought you were cool. That same friend mentioned you got into this university and I thought maybe we could be friends. Well, that was before I actually saw you."

He's grins at Mob, "After I saw you I knew I wanted to date you."

"D-Date?" Mob croaks out but then he pauses, that's the logical next step, right? If they both like each other then...

"Are we boyfriends now?" he asks quietly.

Reigen sits up and turns to Mob, "That's what I forgot! Yes! Do you want to be my boyfriend Shigeo Kageyama?"

Mob smiles. He sits up too, "Yes."

----

OMAKE (One year later)

Reigen finishes up the tidying and turns to Mob who is setting up the "counter" where he will mainly be taking payments. They don't have a lot in terms of starting capital so everything they've bought or scrounged up are the bare essentials. Reigen starts, "You know, you don't have to stop going to school. You could help part-time. I don't want your scary brother to think I stole you away or something."

Mob can't help but let out a small laugh at the almost accurate accusation, "It's okay, I talked to him about it, and my family too. I didn't really know what I wanted to continue studying so this works out." He'd finally finished up his electives, leaving him no wiggle room for classes. His counselor had scheduled a meeting with him and pretty much said that if he didn't have a career path in mind, it was best to just take a break. School was expensive and Mob's grades had never been great. He'd taken a break and in that time Reigen had finished his own degree

Ekubo comes in through the window, "Shigeo, you sure you want to be part of this shady business? Spirits and Such Consultations? Sounds like a con-gig to me."

Reigen claps loudly, "Not conning people! We're really going to help some people out. Mob can exorcise spirits and if there aren't any spirits involved, we just find a solution to what's bothering them. Here are some fliers." He hands a stack to Mob and then looks at Ekubo, "Well, I guess you can't pass these around. That's fine."

Ekubo sighs, "I wouldn't even if I had a body. Shigeo, we're going to get shut down."

"Not all businesses are successful the first time! We just have to be flexible, right Mob?"

Mob nods, and pulls Reigen into a back hug. He's sure everything will work out. Reigen is passionate and hardworking, and Mob is willing to match that dedication with his own love.

There's a knock on the door and they all scramble, even Ekubo.

"Our first customer!" "I can't believe someone actually came in here!" "I'll get some tea started!"

Reigen calls out that the door is unlocked and three kids come inside. They're all wearing the same uniform, a baseball one Reigen notes, and they look so different in personality it's almost jarring, but a customer is a customer. He gestures towards the "sitting area" and as they all settle down, he begins...

"Welcome to Spirits and Such Consultation, what can we do for you guys?"

One of them looks like he's already fallen asleep and the smallest looks over to the brown-haired kid and nudges his leg.

"Well, you see..."

---

A/N:

OMG it's been AGES since I last wrote in this fandom!!

I hope you guys enjoyed and that I wasn’t too rusty...!

Some notes + I like to play around with ages but this is the first time I've done a same age AU + GOD I hope they're not TOO ooc (but they probably are *cries*) + I originally had this other idea with ghosts but then this one won out

[365days365movies]

March 21, 2021: Orlando (1992)

Tilda Swinton...confuses me.

Like, in a good way. Because Tilda may be the most versatile actor working today. I mean, look at the goddamn filmography, and you’ll see what I’ve mean. I’ve seen Tilda Swinton in a lot, surprisingly, and I don’t think anything I’ve seen was bad. For example, I am an ARDENT defender in the portrayal of the Ancient One in the MCU.

I understand the controversy here, but I actually think this is excellent casting. Especially considering...being comic book-accurate would NOT have been a good idea with this role, if we’re trying to AVOID controversy. But Tilda Swinton FUCKING KILLED IT in this role, and I will always be happy for this choice.

Let’s see, there’s Jadis in the Narnia films, as shown at the top, there’s Snowpiercer, as Mason (an amazing character, and an acting job that Swinton disappears into), Moonrise Kingdom as Social Services, The Grand Budapest Hotel as Madame D., and Gabriel in Constantine. Which is a good segue to the next talking point...

Gabriel is pointedly androgynous, and honestly, Tilda Swinton kind of is as well. You may have noticed that I haven’t used any pronouns in referencing to Tilda Swinton, entirely out of respect. Gonna be a little hard to keep up with, so I’ll be using she/her from here on out, only because those are the pronouns that Swinton’s most recently promoted for herself. She’s also referred to herself as queer of some variety, as well as being famously gender non-conforming.

Which is fitting, given that a lot of that public image began with today’s movie, one of her first big roles. I’ll be revisiting Swinton in the independent movie scene in a couple of months, but this may be a good introduction. Instead of spoiling anything off the bat, I’m gonna jump right in. And so, I present: Orlando. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin with a young man named, well, Orlando (Tilda Swinton), a young man with a feminine appearance and a good upbringing. His name means power land and property, but all he really wants is company. He writes and rests by a tree in the day, but falls asleep by mistake. When he wakes up, he runs back to where he’s meant to be, with a tribute to Queen Elizabeth I (Quentin Crisp) playing in the background. And that’s a REAL song, by the way, actually sung in the 1600s for Elizabeth! Very neat.

A title screen flashes, reading “1600: Death”, and we see where Orlando is meant to be. He speaks poetry for the Queen and her court, but is interrupted by the aged queen, who asks whether or not his poem is appropriate for her presence, as the poem is about youth, and Queen Elizabeth is not that. Orlando’s father (John Bott), who is serving as host to Elizabeth, intervenes on his behalf. However, it doesn’t seem to matter to the Queen, as she invites Orlando back to England to serve as her “favourite”. He accepts, and soon lives alongside the Queen. She quickly promises Orlando much land and property, for him and his heirs, but on one condition: that he does not fade, wither, or grow old. 

The same wish cannot be applied to Elizabeth herself, nor to his father, as both grow old and die soon afterwards. Fast forward 10 years, and it’s a cold winter in England. Visiting Orlando’s vast estate is a woman from Russia, named Sasha (Charlotte Valandrey), and Orlando quickly falls for her. This is to the dismay of Euphrosne (Anna Healy), his fiancée? I’m not sure, to be honest, but they’re definitely involved, and she’s definitely upset.

However, this is also a scandal for everybody else as well, not just because Orlando’s already engaged, but also because Sasha is Russian, during a particularly poor economic period for the country. Euphrosne angrily throws his ring back at him, and Orlando speaks directly to the audience, telling us that a man must follow his heart. The two go to his private cottage, and they start to make out, when Orlando suddenly comes down with intense melancholy.

Because this is such great happiness that he feels, but this happiness too will one day end. Which is, like, the most emo-shit I’ve ever heard, but I’m kinda here for it. And yet, that happiness does indeed end, when Sasha is forced to return to Russia, despite Orlando’s pleading for her to stay. He asks her to meet him at London Bridge, so that they may elope together.

Later, Orlando happens upon a performance of Othello, noting to us that it’s a terrific play. This is as the death of Othello is being played out, so that’s probably foreshadowing, right? Anyway, Orlando leads two horses through the thick fog, waiting for Sasha to arrive and come away with him. But as a storm sets in, there is no sign of Sasha. And Orlando stands there in the rain. Said rain, though, soon becomes ice, underneath his feet, floating away down the river, along with his hopes of a happy future with Sasha. The treachery of women, according to Orlando.

Over the next week, Orlando languishes in his bed, asleep for the entire time. Increasingly more servants are brought up to try and rouse him, only for him to remain asleep, no matter what they do. But then, he wakes up, noting that he can only conjure three words to describe women, none of them worth explaining.

Forty years later, and the title screen cries “Poetry”! And Orlando looks exactly the same. Guess he really took that whole “don’t grow old” thing from Elizabeth to heart, huh? He speaks to a poet, Nick Greene (Heathcote Williams), and gushes about his poetry, which is a pursuit that he loves greatly. But Nick is...well, Nick is kind of a dick, to be honest. Orlando wants only to share his love and his poetry with him, but Nick’s only in it for the money. Not a true artist, and he mocks Orlando’s poetry, which he reads only after Orlando offers him money. And then, he writes a poem mocking Orlando further, which angers Orlando...but doesn’t stop the money flowing to Nick.

Orlando moves onto his next pursuit, in 1700, in the next section: Politics. Now over 100 years old, Orlando becomes an ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, and travels to Constantinople. There, he receives a somewhat rough and awkward greeting, which Orlando is not helping with. They share some Turkish coffee, Orlando has trouble drinking that Turkish coffee, they drink a LOT of Turkish coffee, and they toast to multiple things, including the “beauty of women, and the joys of love.” Orlando pauses at this, and reveals that he is still suffering quite a bit of heartbreak. His Turkish friend, the Khan (Lothaire Bluteau), bonds with him about this.

After 10 years, Orlando has fully retreated into life as a Turkish man. This is interrupted by a British emissary, sent to bring him news of a new appointment and power from the Queen. However, something goes wrong when the Khan arrives and takes Orlando hostage. The city is under attack, and the Khan asks Orlando if he will help against their enemies. Orlando agrees, and gives them arms, and heads to help himself at the walls. There, he witnesses a man dying, and it shakes him greatly. And just like before, he sleeps it off for seven days. And then...she wakes up.

YUP. WHAT.

Yeah, um, Orlando is now a woman. Like she says: “Same person, just a different sex.” Which is a very interesting premise, not gonna lie. Looks like Orlando now has to live life as a woman, which is going to be...difficult in 1700s Turkey. Or England. Or anywhere. Or any time.

Still, Orlando approaches this new life with aplomb, and without really any needed caution. Parading in some awesome dresses, she greets fellow nobility as the lady Orlando. However, the emissary from earlier, Archduke Harry (John Wood), begins to recognize her as similar to the lord Orlando.

In speaking with a group of poets, however, Orlando learns EXACTLY what men think of women in this society, and it’s not even a little bit good. She leaves, enraged and embarrassed. Harry also speaks with her, assuming that she was a woman all along. However, Orlando’s in EVEN MORE shit, as she’s quickly served with papers that are an attempt to take away all of her property and titles, because Lord Orlando is legally dead, and Lady Orlando is a woman, which one of them says is basically the same thing. FUCKIN’ YIKES, BRUV.

Ah, but Harry tries to help by proposing to her ON THE FUCKIN’ SPOT. He believed that Orlando was perfect as both genders, and is happy to do it. However, Orlando understandably refuses, and after Harry tells her that she will die as a spinster, alone and dispossessed, she runs into a nearby hedge maze. And while in the hedge maze, time passes, and her outfit changes to match the period accordingly.

Forward 140 years now! The year is 1850, and a new chapter begins: Sex.

And as she runs from the maze, she runs into who else...but Shelmerdine (Billy Zane), a man who...Shelmerdine? SHELMERDINE? What fuckin’ witch cursed his entirely family line to have THAT name? That’s the kind of family that was named AFTER a bridge, not the other way around! WHAT KINDA NAME IS FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE?

Well, I’ve looked it up now, and it is apparently a real name. So, if any Shelmerdines are reading this...I mean, I’m sorry, but also, FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE? OK, back to Shelmerdine. He’s twisted his ankle falling off his horse, and Orlando is now taking care of him. She reveals, in the process, that she’s about to lose everything. The reasons for that aren’t quite said, but Shelmerdine offers a place at his side, back to the great free land of America.

After having a conversation about the roles of men and women in the world (which is interesting given the context of the film in general), the two fulfill the chapter’s imperative. And we never see the act, but we do get some interesting angles and hand-holding. But the next morning, this post-coital reverie is interrupted by the lawyers from the Queen. The lawsuits have been settled, and Orlando has been legally declared a woman, meaning that unless she has a son, all of her possessions will be lost.

Shelmerdine (I swear, every time I say that name, a fairy gets chlamydia) leaves as well, with the southwest wind. As he heads back to America to fight for freedom, Orlando stands in the rain, facing an uncertain future, and broken fully by the politics of the time period.

And then...the sound of planes overhead. Looks like a new time period once again, heading into the periods of World Wars, and Orlando is now...heavily pregnant. OH. FUCK. Welcome to the next chapter: Birth.

We jump past the period of World War II, and to the 1990s! Orlando is presenting a book to a publisher, and he believes that the book will sell. With her young daughter in tow, she finally goes back to her old mansion, now finally able to go back after losing it 100 years prior. The narration from the beginning repeats, recontextualized for Orlando’s new life. She is over 400 years old, and finally, FINALLY...she is happy.

And that’s Orlando! I think I loved it. Real talk, this was a fascinating movie, and I’m into it. I’m very much into it. I’m sure there’s more to be gleaned from this film, but I’m glad I watched it regardless. More in the Review, though! See you there!