#it's been scratching my brain for weeks now tho

[thegreathomestuckreread]

been spinning my wheels again about whether or not i'm autistic

it would explain. so many things. and i feel like a lot of my experiences make so much more sense with that lens of processing the world applied to it

like at this point i've got over a decade of scattered research and reading trying to figure this shit out, including results from a smattering of self-report assessments where almost all of them place me in the autistic scoring range

but more recently all that's brought me to like. the emotional intensity of the autistic experience seems like a pretty crucial piece of the picture and i don't think i really meet that?? things like, i'm a highly empathetic person, but i don't think it's autistic high empathy, not debilitating like my high school friend who once started crying because i was describing an animal video to them. i have a hard time crying actually, it's something i do very infrequently. that's just one more specific example but just like in general, from what i can see the burning overwhelming intensity of emotion is kind of a really big part of the autistic experience, and i don't think i'm there, or at least not there with enough regularity for it to be like A Thing

and like i don't think i've ever had an experience that would fit the description of an autistic meltdown, or an autistic shutdown. i mean, maybe some of my experiences could fit into descriptions of a shutdown, but idk if the same intensity is there, and even if it is the frequency seems way too, well, infrequent to qualify. anything that might fit the description of a meltdown i think would be much better described as just a plain ol' emotional breakdown. and along the same lines i don't think i've ever experienced what would be called sensory overload

like even as a child i don't think the slipper fits on this stuff, i was perhaps a bit more emotionally intense than my peers but not like my autistic childhood best friend was, i didn't even really have tantrums that could have been mislabelled meltdowns

but there's so much other stuff that just makes so much sense. [i had a whole huge paragraph here but i've cut it and put it under the readmore at the bottom to cut length]

there's more. it's a lot. i've been adding things to this paragraph for at least 20 minutes now, maybe closer to 30. like there's a very good reason that i am still on this research thread after so many years. i just can't shake that i could be reading it all wrong

like all of the stuff i talk about causing me stress or whatever, i'm getting the sense that it's not with the same intensity as the autistic experience of that stress. like it really stresses me out yeah, but like. not enough maybe??????????? and that's kind of the thing with most of these traits i guess, i'm questioning whether i actually experience them with enough frequency and intensity that they would fall under autistic experiences

and like, i'm not going to seek professional assessment, because even with a diagnosis i don't know what that would do for me as an adult. the accommodations i got in school for my chronic illness covered any time i needed accommodations for brain reasons while i was in school, not like i plan on going back. and idk what i could even ask from a professional working environment

and at the end of the day if i'm not even seeking that what does it matter???? like can i not just exist as i am and keep using the tools that help me regardless of whether or not i may qualify as Diagnosably Autistic? i guess it all comes down to like, i don't want to water down what autism means by calling myself autistic if that's not really it. it would just be really nice to know why these things are hard and know there's a community of people who understand that. it just feels like if that's not it then what have i been doing wrong? if that's not it what am i doing wrong?? bluh

the childhood bullying and being confused as to why people didn't like me, the intense social anxiety in high school, struggling to start and end conversations that don't serve a logistical purpose, difficulty maintaining or initiating small-talk, how fucking hard it is to maintain friendships especially over time and distance, forgetting to fucking talk to people lol, literally all of the close friendships i've ever had being with people who are autistic or adhd or both, all of those people looping me in as neurodivergent without me even saying anything about it, my ex who said that when they were confused and frustrated trying to figure out what the fuck my deal was and complaining to their mom the two of them would use autism as a lens to talk out what the fuck my deal was and it was genuinely very helpful lmaooooo, my general inclination towards just telling the truth and how stressed i get about lying and dishonesty, the 'picky eating', the chewing the shit out of my lip, constant fiddling with my clothes and jewellery, being a 'high-energy child' (my mother's words) aka hyper bouncing off the walls, the specific noises that made me cover my ears and run away as a child (ripping up the bathmat and the sound of the vhs rewinder going really fast), the amount of stress i feel in unpredictable situations or when plans change unexpectedly or when i'm not prepared for a situation, how untethered i feel without some semblance of routine, the empty state of my brain when plans change and i don't know what to do with myself lol, how stressed the thought of not being in control of myself or being in an uncontrollable environment makes me, my systematizing and sorting and categorizing and organizing, when i learned what even numbers were as a child and immediately thought "those are my favourite numbers because they can be divided neatly", how i often speak in fractions and percentages, my attention to detail and noticing small details others don't (and sometimes having to pretend i don't notice things so i don't come across as 'nitpicking' or 'creepy'), researching and researching and researching for the smallest decisions, being overwhelmed with excessive options and just shutting down and not doing anything, general excessive indecisiveness, my god the fucking 'procrastination' on school assignments and communications and fun things that i would like to be doing, my 'literal' reading of school assignment outlines and surprise at seeing how classmates could twist the assignment and still do very well, my multi-year intense interests such as the sims 3 and homestuck and animal crossing, the fact that even when i play the sims i forget to make my sims talk to people until i realise their social meter is really low lol, how i lost so many things as a child, how if i don't have a written prioritized to-do list i tend to just faff about aimlessly and forget everything that i need to do and/or not get most or all of it done, the genetic factor of it running in both sides of my family

[thediamondarcher]

I'm so scared of telling my psychiatrist or my psychologist that i think i have OCD because what if they think I'm just faking it just like my brain tells me and i did way too much research and I'm just trying to get diagnosed something i don't have (i literally had a compulsion because i had obsessive thoughts about this and it gave me so much anxiety)

[peachywritesstuff]

Charlie Walker relationship Headcannons

An: I'm obsessed with Rory. That is where my loyalties lie.

This has she/her pronouns in it btw(only once tho)

He is your Gomez Addams

"Look at her. I would die for her,I would kill for her."

That is him talking about you.

Dude will literally murder someone for you.

He is the type of person to just have the biggest crush on someone and not say anything for a VERY long time.

Won't catch him confessing his feelings for you. You would be the one to have to make the move.

I don't think this would he his first relationship but his first serious one.

Dude will only have eyes for you.

Would by shy at the beginning of your relationship and be cutely awkward with you.

Movie dates 100%

Loves just staring you

Likes to rant on about horror movies and will blush when he catches himself ranting.

Not to much pda for him. Holding hands, pecks,and kissing cheeks is all I see him doing in public.

In private however...

Man's is very affectionate.

Would be the first to say I love you.

Will have a nice lil makeout but he would be redder than a cherry afterwards.

I think we all know that he is inexperienced

But here me out... he would be natural at EVERYTHING.

Will go into cardiac arrest if he sees you naked.

Brain overload. He will not know what to do.

A part of him wants to look away like a gentleman but another part of him wants to just stare.

Likes when you play with his hair.

You would definitely NOT be killed and will make it known to Jill that if she puts one single scratch on you that he will kill her.

And Jill knows damn well to not hurt you unless she wants to face Charlie's wrath.

I mean Jill saw what he did to Olivia,that could easily be her if she didn't keep her word of keeping her hands off you.

I don't even think he would want Jill to give you any calls.

Like he wanted you completely out of it.

(Lets pretend Jill didn't kill him okay?)

He is definitely two faced and takes on a whole persona when he is under the Ghostface mask.

If he does so happen to come across you during his killings then he would let you get away without making it look like he is doing that if that makes sense.

He a lil crazy,but I think we all knew that by now. He is our little psychotic bby.

soft yandere vibes

He is a lil bit toxic (just a wee bit)

When it is revealed he is the killer you just broke down crying cuz you were angry and sad that the boy you loved so dearly was a murderer.

If you caught him in the middle of an act you would not want him to touch you. At all.

He could start crying when you backed away from him

He can't just kill you when you figure out his identity he fucking loves you

He'd let you go and not go after you.

(Sorry Jill lover's but let's pretend he got away with it and Jill got caught and died for fanfiction purposes)

Since he got away with it he woke up in the hospital with a stab wound close to his heart. Jill was revealed as the murderer.

You were still in shock and did not say anything. Partially out of fear.

You didn't talk to him for weeks. Hell probably even months after.

You knew you should turn him in but you didn't.

When you do talk to him again it's the same awkward Charlie you know who was still in love with you(are we surprised??)

It took a looooong time to trust him again.

You felt like you had been lied too.

After getting away with the murders Charlie was never going to kill again.

Keyword: Was.

When you began to get calls from the new Ghostface/s he just had to get out of retirement and handle the shit.

If there is 2,he could play it smart and might kill both of them. Or kill one and Injure the other.

You didn't have to know this. No one did.

Charlie learned that some things were better left unsaid.

And he be damned if he lost you again

I guess old habits die hard huh?

[satoruxx]

HAUNTING ME TONIGHT.

✧ PAIRING: gojo satoru x reader | 0.6k words

✧ SUMMARY: this is a coping mechanism for today's jjk leaks so...SPOILERS AHEAD, blood, mentions of death, ANGST, gojo centric, vague af, hints at canon manga events, he goes back and forth between his past and present self, overall confusion bc he doesn't understand what really happened to him, it's bittersweet ig, idk man my emotions are all over the place rn

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: looks like it's a trend for me to write a gojo drabble every time the leaks fuck me up lmao. somehow after weeks of writer's block i managed to spit this out. here's part 1 from back in june when the neck slice happened. this and part 1 don't connect all that much but it's sorta hinted and i wrote this as a continuation. this can be read alone tho. whatever i'm so fucked up rn i'm gonna go back to crying...

satoru thinks there's blood in his mouth. he can taste it, metallic and coppery as it fills his pharynx and seeps into his throat.

he tastes it even when his body is free from scars and sunlight warms his skin.

it’s comforting, he thinks, the feeling of carefree youth he hasn’t been able to experience in almost ten years. the grin that's stretching across his face makes him forget the blood.

he’s choosing to focus on them instead. focusing on the faces he hasn’t seen in so long. he’s not really sure what he’s telling them, but satoru has always been good at rambling about things like death.

for a second he feels like a teacher, preaching about dying alone, but then he remembers that he’s probably still a student. young and stupid and carefree.

but for some reason, the expression on suguru’s face makes him feel oddly nostalgic.

satoru likes this. he thinks he’d like to snapshot nanami’s expression. it's strange, but it feels like he hasn’t seen him in a long time.

but that’s ridiculous because he’s still a student. he’d seen nanami in class the morning prior.

something about that is wrong. he can’t quite put his finger on it.

he’s in the middle of annoying principal yaga when he catches sight of you.

you're making a face, one that he’s never seen before. it’s half angry and half wounded, like you’ve never been so hurt in your life. the expression unsettles him, and somehow he knows it’ll haunt his nightmares from now until the end of time.

your features crumble, and satoru notices you’re going in and out of focus, so he tries to blink you back into clarity. it doesn’t work.

briefly he wonders if you’re even real.

you glare at him, eyes shining with tears and every bit of hurt in the world.

“you promised.” you hiss, shoulders drawn high and taut as your body trembles with something he doesn’t quite understand.

promised what, he wants to ask, but he finds that he can’t open his mouth to speak to you.

the taste of blood comes back again, pooling in the back of his throat. metallic and coppery.

you bite down on your lip, hard, before turning away from him.

satoru doesn’t know how to reach out to you because his body is rooted in place. it feels like his brain isn’t connected to the rest of him, neurons firing but muscles not working in coordination.

he inwardly curses.

when he looks back, haibara is grinning at him in a way that reminds him so much of someone else. he briefly thinks haibara would suit pink hair. when he catches nanami’s tired eyes, something in his impassive expression tells satoru that he agrees.

there’s a fleeting silence, and the sound of a clock ticking quietly scratches at his brain. he looks at suguru, who’s smiling at him knowingly, skin clean of any stitches, and satoru decides he should commit the sight to memory.

there’s a restlessness in his stomach now, and he feels his torso burn.

he turns back to look at you, the taste of blood now extremely strong on his tongue as he watches your figure slowly start to fade from existence.

for a second, he smells smoke, unpleasant but oh so familiar. he remembers the sound of medical textbooks turning and the echo of an annoyed first grader’s voice. a few barks of a dog follow.

through the taste of blood, he can smell bedsheets. he can smell overly sweet coffee in the morning. he can smell the shampoo you use.

he closes his eyes, smiling ruefully to himself.

you’re right.

he did promise you after all.

[caelanglang]

Who are your fav skk fanfic writers and why? Do you have their works that you love the most that you don't mind sharing here? 💘

this... this is such a hard question, *brings out a whole safe of records* /j (no srsly it's gonna be a long read--)

Here are a list of authors i really like :3 Their ao3 links/handles are:

the_most_happy: love how emotional their work can be! they have smut and fluff works, and most of all—which i think the the most delicious one, is the way they write angst <3 I actually made a bunch of fanart for their fics/aus when I was just getting into the fandom :3 They're writing is like going into a spicy sexy emotinal adventure... idk how else to describe it xD my fav fic of theirs... augh so hard to choose... In Loving Memory caught me so off guard (cuz i forgot to read the tags and immediately dived into it the moment i saw their post about it hhhh)

forest_racoon: The fluff and softness and magic in their writing is so good! I love the energy and comedy and seriousness and everything in their writing! it's always so fun to pick up any of their works~ Don't be tricked tho,, the angst they deliver have the same gravity ToT it's just so... augh... I first found them through Plate :( and have reread it several times (please check out their other works too it's all so amazing!!)

devilrin: love how she writes. period. the emotions and the poetic energy of it?? the angst?? so. good. the skk energy in their writing is more mellow(?) it feels more realistic—it's like watching people instead of characters ;w; (very cool how she world builds an entire life outside of her fic for her characters actually, got to witness the behind the scenes first hand myself its pretty insane to me) The fic that ruined me tho is Down to a Sunless Sea (which is so angsty im so--)

themadtree: The energy in their writing is just so amazing. it's very hard to stop mid-way! The dialogue feels very fun and engaging and you really get very attached to the characters because of how energetic and full of life they are. Whimsical is the best word I can think of to describe the reading experience of their work :3 They made a bunch of fun aus; their brain is just so amazing (pirate au and avatar au like broooooo) My favorite is Mors Vincit Omnia (yummy pirate au!)

StarshipDancer: one of the first ao3 writers whose name i decided to remember by heart (which means a lot considering how bad i am with names) because they are my most searched user in ao3 xD The fluff is just so addicting. The sillies and shenanegans are so on point for me, idk it just scratch this itch so perfectly in my brain. I draw a of inspiration from my skk sketches from their works actually :3!! READ EVERYTHING THEY HAVE PLS ITS ALL SO GOOD (you should check the fluff week collection augh) Without Words is one of my most reread ones... I think... I reread a lot of their works tho...

setosdarkness: let's be honest. i think everyone whose dived into ao3 skk just knows her alreayd xD she's such a kween for that, making sure we are so well fed with so much fun skk writing. Her works are so fun to read! Very comedic and has such similar energy to the gag moments and bickering and shenanigans of the anime skk for me idk why. I love how fun and unique each fic scenarios are :3 (no srsly you'll never run out of food made with so much love by athina-san)

xLillyle: I am working with Lilly for a Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood skk au!! (its Royai skk BUT it's also beast!skk) it's been so exciting to work with her :3!! You can check some of the teasers here. She made an iwaoi!skk fic recently so if that's you're type hehe *starts bawling*

there are lots of other amazing authors there but these are the ones that came to mind and i am most familiar with for now :3 Here are some other fics ~~

When I Awake: Ghost(?) Writer Dazai and Musician Chuuya. yummy angst. silly skk

castle out of couches: My favorite domestic fluff skk. it's my must read. Halfbloom is such a master of the fluff in comedic tone and capturing that skk domestic softness idk how they do it. it's just so good.

In One of the Stars I shall be Living: A sweetheart wrote a fic about my little prince skk au TT it's so well written and I am so in love with all the references and angst ueueue

Five Steps: My favorite skk knight x prince au TT

The Best Worst Thing: Another sweetheart wrote a fic based on my silly sketches ;w; it's so cute waaaaaa

okay. i am. so sorry for the long answer. I just love a lot of stuffs from these incredible writers. feel free to drop by again :3 these are the ones that comes to my mind first so i may have missed out on a bunch oop

[gl1tchy-4rt]

Maurice you Dumbass 😡(derogatory)

Me: Maybe I should continue with Spaghetti Family, or maybe answer the asks or maybe post about the other AUs or maybe actually do homework

Brain: Best is can do is

✨✨I f##king hate this man hope he dies in The Third impact ✨✨

Why has this Mets™ fan taken over my brain? And yes if you are wondering he is canon to Spag. Family.

Also I couldn't help myself:

Just like with Matteo I went Brainrot mode and made this kiddo

Here he is; the runt (Loving): Maurice Jr.

While, yes he is bratty, he has no fault of having Maurice as his Dad.

He's been left watching TV without supervision multiple times (Thanks to his Dad) due to his he had nightmares for 2 weeks and now knows the lore of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Fairly a bully but the moment you say no he stops from shock.

Not in good terms with Matteo and Maria.

He thinks Uncle Pino is weird, cause "one moment he is mean to me for having fun! (AKA: Misbehaving) but the next he is worried cause I tripped and scratched a knee?" ("It's no biggie, i can walk it off")

Lives with his Mom one week and then other one with his Dad.

He loves his Dad! And he wants to be like him when he grows up cause his Dad is soooooo cool!...

That's until he realizes that; "Oh Lord.... I'm becoming my Dad" (AKA: an absolute as###le that pretty much has no friends)

Runs away from Maurice's house and Crashed into Pino's couch for some days (Peppino had no problem with this) Now he fully lives with his Mom.

Fairly chill with Peppino's family (including Bruno's and Gustavo's) and his Mom but an absolute as###le to his Dad (As he should)

He repaired his relationship with Matteo and Maria and now they are friends :) (Tho he still traumatized his half-cousins with Neon Genesis Evangelion)

So yeah that's all for the Green man I had lots of fun with this, tho I may be a bit busy with school so I may not post as often, but that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this AU ;)

So that's all for Today's post and see y'all next time

Buh-bye!!

[ugh-yoongi]

your hand is touching mine and i can't stop myself from taking it & Yoongi

thank you for the request! i've had this sitting in my drafts forever, so it gave me an excuse to finish it (and why it's so long dgkjd one day i will learn what a drabble is). i hope you enjoy it. <3

i call this yoongi's romantic comedy of errors.

pairing: yoongi x f. reader

genre: friends to lovers, miscommunication, fluff/comedy

warnings: reader is taehyung's sister, they're coworkers, yoongi is really bad at asking people out on dates someone pls help our boy, some swearing. this was long and i was too lazy to edit it, so if you see any mistakes no you didn't.

wordcount: 2100

taking valentine's day drabble requests here ♡

Yoongi reaches for his wallet, cheeks aching from hours spent laughing.

He’s glad he did this—took a chance, asked you out properly. There’s none of the usual awkwardness that comes along with nights out, none of the dread of having to turn someone down, none of the guilt. No, this had gone well. Better than he ever could’ve imagined, and instead of preparing his trademark I had a great time, but… speech, he’s trying to figure out how to ask you out again without being a floundering, incompetent mess.

But then you reach for your wallet, too, and Yoongi—

“What are you doing?” he laughs, aiming for casual.

It works. You laugh softly, quirking an eyebrow. “Getting my card so we can split the bill.”

The words are out of his mouth before his brain can catch up. “What? I can’t let you pay on a—”

Everything comes to a screeching halt. A record-scratch moment. Because he finally figures out what’s going on, sees the way your eyes widen in panic at Yoongi calling this a date. Surely, he’d been clear enough when he asked you to dinner. He had to have been. He distinctly remembers wearing his best shirt into the office that day. He’d even worn the expensive cologne—the one he’d carefully rationed because you’d complimented it before and he didn’t want it to run out before he got a chance to use it properly.

No, he couldn’t have been that dumb. Still—he wracks his brain, tries to remember how he’d worded it, except now he’s in survival mode and everything’s coming up blank. So he does the only thing he can think of—“I can’t let you pay for your birthday dinner.”—and lies.

What a fucking idiot.

“Yoongi,” you say slowly, like you’re talking to the idiot he most definitely is. “My birthday isn’t for another four months.”

The laugh he forces out can only be described as a hellish witch cackle. “I know that,” he insists, “but I just figured why not, you know! Who says you can’t take your friends to birthday dinners four months early?”

You’re nearly stunned into silence. “But this isn’t even our traditional birthday dinner restaurant.”

“I wanted to try something new,” he answers, even though it comes out more like a question. He had wanted to try something new, and look where that’s gotten him. “Hoseok said this place was nice.”

“Yeah, but Hoseok’s been with his partner for eighty years.”

Yoongi’s laugh is pained, now. No more witch cackle, just the dying wheezes of a man running out of excuses and time. One of his favorite things about you is how smart and unwilling to put up with bullshit you are. A week ago, he never would’ve entertained being on the receiving end of it, but now it’s all he can do to tread water. “Oh, really?” he asks, playing stupid. “I didn’t think this place had, like, partner vibes.”

“There’s a little candle on the table,” you deadpan. “There’s a woman in the corner playing a violin. It absolutely has partner vibes.”

“Maybe I just wanted to splurge?”

Your stare is pointed, gaze full of suspicion. “Did you, now.”

There’s a moment where the light breaks through the clouds. Clarity, and Yoongi doesn’t make the same mistake twice. You’re not buying anything he’s selling, so he’s not going to force it. This wasn’t a date for you. He’ll tuck his tail between his legs and take the loss, and it’ll hurt, sure, and it’ll be one of those things that keeps him up at night years into the future, the embarrassment agonizing, but keeping your friendship intact is more important.

So he just sighs. Hands your credit card back to you and ignores your protests. “Of course I did,” he answers. Tries handing the envelope with just his card inside to a passing waiter, but you throw your arm into the aisle to stop him.

“Quit playing with me and tell me what’s going on,” you snap. “You’re being weird and I don’t like it.”

The waiter side-steps your arm and says, “Please unhand me, ma’am.”

(God, Yoongi’s going to have to triple his tip.)

“Shut up, Taehyung, I’m not even touching you.”

(Quadruple it, by the looks of it.)

Taehyung just sighs. “Fuck you, dude. I didn’t bother you the entire time you were on your date, and now you wanna mess with me when I’m just trying to cash out and go home.”

Yoongi says—“Oh, do you know him?”

—at the same time you say, “He’s my broth—what do you mean my date?”

Taehyung looks at you the way you’d looked at Yoongi. “Do you know where you are right now?”

You snap your fingers. “Because it has partner vibes, right?”

“Definitely has partner vibes,” Taehyung agrees. “There’s little candles on the tables.”

You turn to Yoongi. “I told you!” All he can do is shrug. Candles aren’t really his thing, mostly just ambiance, so what does he know.

Taehyung looks between the two of you, clearly running numbers in his head. How to not lose his tip, probably, or maybe envisioning what Yoongi would be like as a brother-in-law. No, wait—

“Okay, I’m gonna go. This is really weird and you’re both very stupid. Bye.”

You roll your eyes. “Yoongi’s just—”

“I literally do not care who my sister is dating! It’s none of my business!” Taehyung calls over his shoulder, much to Yoongi’s horror and the dismay of the rest of the patrons.

Once he’s gone, the two of you sit in awkward silence. He’s surprised you’re sticking around. The night has turned into an absolute shitshow, and Yoongi wouldn’t blame you a bit for leaving, though the fact that you haven’t has him hesitantly optimistic. Maybe he can salvage this, figure out a way to explain the miscommunication in a way that doesn’t sound condescending, because I’m sorry I thought I asked you out properly makes you sound like a dunce who can’t comprehend when they’re being asked out properly.

What a mess.

It’s not until Taehyung returns with his card, he’s tipped 50%, and he’s moving to put on his jacket do you speak. “Was he right?”

“Your brother?” Yoongi asks reflexively. You nod and his palms get all sweaty. “Um. I’m not really sure how to answer that.”

You snort. “Honestly, for a start.”

“I—okay,” he acquiesces. “Maybe not here, though. People are still staring and it’s making me want to throw up.”

The two of you move to his car. He turns it on and lets it idle, turns on your seat warmer and the heat because it’s cold outside and he’s already sweating buckets so what difference does it make. He’s got the anxiety shakes, anyway. And it’s not lost on him that this is new, too. Before, the two of you always met up in the city. Separate cars, separate ways. He’d picked you up tonight. Right at seven, just like he’d said, so he can’t figure out where everything had gone sideways.

“Okay, I’m just gonna—I did think this was a date,” he says. Feels good to get it out there, he supposes, but the way your jaw drops doesn’t make him feel too great.

You snap it shut. “Oh. Okay.”

He picks at his dress pants. He knows the fabric is expensive but not what it is. The salesperson at the store said it was one of their best and the charge on his card confirmed it. He’d bought three-million won pants for a date and he’d managed to fuck it all up. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Huh? What d’you mean for what. For thinking it was a date when it wasn’t.”

Friendships have survived worse, right? There’s a guy who works with both of you who divorced his wife of ten years and they still go on vacations together all the time, so the two of you are going to be fine. Shit, would Yoongi be able to go to Saint-Tropez with you after a divorce? That’s some heavy shit. That’s almost insane, he thinks. Does he have that kind of maturity? Is it maturity? The guy works in the communications department, so maybe he’s just… good at that? Maybe Yoongi should’ve asked him for some pointers.

“Can I just ask,” you start, and it’s the way you turn in your seat, angling your body towards him, that activates his fight-or-flight. Yoongi’s anxiety is not built for this kind of confrontation. Not at all. “What made you think it was a date?”

“My pants are three-million won,” he blurts out.

“You thought this was a date because… you’re wearing expensive pants?”

He groans. Bonks his head against the steering wheel and nearly has a heart attack when the horn beeps, far too loud for this parking garage. “No, it’s not just the pants. I thought I’d been very clear when I asked you to dinner that it was, like, a date. And then I almost said that and you looked really panicked, like you’d rather be buried alive, so I lied and said it was a birthday dinner even though it obviously wasn’t, and then your brother—and, yeah. I don’t know. Clearly I’m not as good at this as I thought I was.”

“Okay, first of all: yikes.” Yoongi nearly wails. “Secondly: Yoongi, you said you don’t date coworkers! Why the hell would I have thought this was a date?”

“In my defense, I said that a long time ago.”

“And never rescinded it!” you argue back. “Why would I think that’d changed?”

“Well—because!” Your stare is blank. “Because I picked you up—”

“I told you my car is in the shop three days ago—”

“And I’m pretty sure when I asked, I said, do you want to go to dinner with me—”

“Sure,” you concede, “as friends! We always go to dinner together!”

“But…” He sighs, runs his hands down his face. Might as well rip off the bandaid. “My pants.”

“Yoongi, all of your pants are expensive. You make an ungodly amount of money a year.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day?” he tries again.

You groan. “Yeah, and I’m supposed to give you a gift.” You run your hands over your face, and it’s really stupid, Yoongi thinks, because you’re wearing makeup. Did you always wear makeup when the two of you went to dinner? He can’t remember. He knows “no makeup” makeup is a thing, so he’s not all that confident he could tell what is and isn’t makeup, and it hits him for the millionth time this evening how bad he is at this.

“Look,” you continue, “let’s just… go somewhere else.”

“Maybe you should pick, since…” He gestures vaguely at himself.

You nod. “Yeah, good idea. That new ice cream place is close. We could go there.”

Yoongi glances out the window. It’s cold outside. A little gray, too, so it’s probably going to snow, considering it’s the middle of February and it’s been unseasonably cold, even for winter. But it’s not an outright rejection. It’s your idea, and if he dares to think it, the look you’re giving him is hopeful. He’s sure the wires in his brain will overheat and start crackling at the mere thought of you wanting to spend more time with him, so he’s agreeing before he can think twice. If his fucking pants are three-million won, they better keep him warm.

He doesn’t know what to do once you’re out of the car. Does he try to hold your hand? Does he loop his arm through yours? Throw an arm over your shoulders and pull you against his side? He’s already ten steps behind. He’s got a few centimeters on you, but your legs are longer, and it’s a little embarrassing, the hurried waddle he does to catch up. And he must sidle up too close, because your hand brushes against his.

Still warm, even though it’s going to snow. Even though you aren’t wearing gloves. All he can think is that the two of you are on your way to some new ice cream place because you wanted to go there, even though he’s put you through the ringer tonight, so he exchanges his stupidity for bravery. Closes in a little more, smiles when you look up at him and cock an eyebrow.

Because your hand is brushing against his, and he can’t stop himself from taking it.

For the first time all night, he knows it’s the right move when you smile.

[accopara]

Scout oneshot that i would probably find really cringe later.

TW DESTURBING DESCRIPTIONS, ARACHNOPHOBIA, MAYBE SELFHARM??

Spiders

this shit has been rough. a week of unstoppable battles sucked the hell out of everyone included. this whole thing was born doomed, but there is nothing we can do about that. it sells, it's worthy and gives a sheltering from the government, that, by the way is already a huge bonus isn't it? this was the only thoughts keeping scout up on his legs even when it hurts, but a blessing came in a really unexpected way. the BLU had to shut down for a while cause of some conditions, but Jeremy knew for sure, that the only condition leading them to cover and run - was their own fear. those motherfuckers will never learn not to mess with RED, but maybe later they will.

scout was coming down the stairs, tiredly rubbing his eyes, while the ring in his ears raised. everything was slightly blurry, head hurts and things. with every step he heard voices in his head rise, and it wasn't a good start for the night. a few meters in a hallway led him right to the medical office. Jeremy's heart rate raised immediately with a thought of having to tell medic about another thing bothering his body right now, and he wouldn't do this if it wasn't so bad. a soft knock on the door and Jeremy peeked out of it, searching for Ludwig with a quick glance. medic was there the whole time, but just busy doing something with his fridge right now.

– Hey, yo, doc, great uh... night, yeah?

scout said, making his grip a bit tighter, mentally preparing not to tell too much. it would be weird would it?

– Oh! herr scout, how unexpected.

Ludwig gave his teammate a wide bare smile, with a little sparkle in his eyes. it wasn't a common thing to accept patients at the time like this, but medic never minded doing this, after all, it was just a better timing to go a tiny bit wilder on his experiments, especially, with a person like this. no matter how much scout would doubt this, but Dr. Ludwig was the only one receiving some more information and secrets. alway sucks to admit this, but he was just a good guy to brag about something, he would just listen for hours, but today wasn't any standard situation, so it just needs to be handled differently. doctor noticed a raw silence as an answer, so decided to speak up first. nobody comes here just to chit-chat after all, right?

– So vat brings you here? muscle pain or just came for a small talk?

– Good guess, but nah. it's the thing uh, with my- with my sleep. i mean i slept bad

– Interesting.

at this point Jeremy just allowed himself in, trying to walk straight and appear as chill as possible. he settled down on a couch and smiled, scratching his head.

– Well yeah, my head kinda hurts, but- but it's not the issue, just feelin pretty active now. ya'know, needin some shit to knock me off to sleep, nothing too wild tho, I need to be up early tomorrow!

– Uh-huh, I see, I see. vell, i can look for somesing to help, but from ze ozer side i could just study up your brains a little to fix zis issue forever mein fruend... but of course, consentually...

he rambled about this more to himself, than to scout, grabbing his freshly sharpen saw, and turned to the patient, touching a point with gloved finger. his smile started to look more like a grin, but it was met with Jeremy quickly shaking his head

– Uh- no! thanks, but no. that's a sick plan, but i want my brains being whole, alright? can you just give me like a pill or something and we all good?

he tried to smile back, just not to be too disrespectful, but couldn't do more than some kind of a crooked smileish expression of a dying inside man. voices in his head were still bothering him, but scout just tried to ignore the whispers. it felt like much of annoying thing, rather than worrying, at least, he thought so.

– Hm, vell vell, you can alvays change your mind, just keep zis idea ja?

Ludwig received an active nodding, making him satisfied and finally getting to his glass cabinet.

" could it be a poison? "

someone spoke in Jeremy's head, making his leg to start twitching. it wasn't his thoughts, at least it felt like someone else's words, and even more, it was just making him confused. these weird things started not so long ago, and at first it was pretty harmless. some thoughts just wasn't consistent with his own, but that never bothered scout before, just made him feel not in the right place. he thought, that this wouldn't be for long, that this is just tiredness finally kicking in, but later it became an issue. a week of pure insomnia made him look like a vampire, but non the less - he started seeing spiders.

really strange thing, considering that spiders couldn't just live in this wasteland, it's not that spiders in New Mexico wasn't a thing, but speaking about such a specific place like this? no, a big no. even waters here are toxic, so the question is - how's so much spiders could've live in a place like that? the answer is - that's impossible, in any condition it was an impossible thing, considering that nobody on the base was complaining about finding any spiders.

but he did. he lied every night in his bed, staring at the ceiling hole, almost hypnotising it. he remembered this hole very clearly. it was born accidently by himself, and always served as a reminder of how cheap their terms of conditions were. he always was joking about the cartboard walls and ceilings, decorating this hole with some silly stuff and always tried to find a way to plug it with something, so he wouldn't be soaking wet at the rainy days. but since then he looked at that hole different every night this whole week. one day a large spider came inside of it and disappeared, but the other - a massive colony of little spider were crawling out, spreading on the white ceiling. they looked really small, like they just hatched from the eggs. he watched them silently to come out and be gone.

he saw them everywhere, and it means literally everywhere on the base. not to be too flashing with this, scout asked multiple people carefully "have you seen any spiders around lately?" and was caught up with surprise receiving "no" as an answer.

the spiders. they were everywhere, they were in the cups, in the shoes, in the cabinets, in his bed, in his mind. a huge amount of spiders were living in every corner of the base, but nobody saw even one.

it seemed like spiders were only his problem, and should stay a secret.

one day the voices in his head told him, that the spiders were crawling under his foreskin. they were screaming violently, crying to the sick stage

" GET THEM OUT. GET THEM OUT. GET THEM OUT "

and he had to.

– Herr scout?

he snapped back to reality, hearing medic's voice. obviously, it looked awkward from the outside, but it doesn't seem to bother Ludwig at all. he was holding a jar of valium in his hand, trying to give it to his patient

– What's that?

Jeremy said, hardly looking directly at the person in front of him.

– Valium, notsing too wild, as you asked. although, i could've give you a much better sedative, but since you asked. tsk.

– Oh, well thanks then!

scout nervously grabbed a small container of white pills. he shook it a bit, smiling at the sound and got up.

– You're the best, as always, doc. owe you one.

he escaped the office pretty quickly, banging the door behind as he tried to just close it. Jeremy leaned against the wall, slowly getting down on the floor. his heart was racing so hard it ached. he couldn't get this out of the head. a whole colony of small black spiders, making their way in and out of the all holes in Ludwig's cold pale face. they ate a part of it, exposing his skull on the left side, with some of the bitten flesh starting to rot. he covered his mouth with both hands, but quickly began to cough. a spider with some bloody scraps fell out of his mouth.

fucking spiders.

[lauronk]

https://www.tumblr.com/lauronk/755126061482835968/i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic-where?source=share Okay so I happen to be the person who has a lot of imagination for fic ideas even tho I don't have the writing skills.

Maybe an Star Wars AU where joel is a mandalorian and he has a mission to find and capture baby ellie for someone because she has some kind of value (like little grogu and his powers) but then he is just this hot man in a space bountyhunter suit that has a little girl hanging on his leg across space to everybody, and he can't get rid of her to his motherfucking clients because she's just so cute and likes to mess around on his spaceship and even has her own little chair and always gives a little peck on his helmet!!! And then when he finally lets her see his face, her little hand just grabs his big ass nose and he laughs because he knows it is too big, and then she finally gives him a little kiss on his nose instead of the helmet and their eyes met for the first time🥹and then when he wants to put the helmet back she makes a sad face and tries to put the helmet down, because now that she knows what her space daddy looks like she just wants to see his pretty eyes and kiss his big ass nose all the time.

okay so a couple of disclaimers before we get started:

i know SO LITTLE about star wars. i've watched mando and boba fett and ahsoka, but that's it. so if there's words or phrases or literally anything i got wrong, i'm very sorry, please be gentle with me. shoutout to my homie @princessofinterest for letting me bombard her with questions

ALSO. i sped-read this prompt, wrote the ficlet, had my friend help me fill in some stuff, and then came back and re-read it and realized...i did not quite do what you requested 😅 so i'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting but hopefully you still enjoy!

ALSO ALSO. i finished, was rereading, and realized i messed up my own timeline. so- yeah. it's been a brain-melty kind of week, so i'm very sorry

a space bound rocket ship (and your heart's the moon)

length: ~2.3k words tags: joel & ellie; star wars au; mandalorianverse au; joel is a mandalorian; din & grogu cameo; the author knows so little about star wars; father-daughter relationship; the cargo-to-babygirl pipeline remains; no beta we die like david

This was definitely not the plan.

Joel stares down at the little girl, eyes roaming over her worriedly through his visor, and she stares defiantly back up at him.

This was not the plan, and now he’s got a whole bunch of Morgan Elsbeth’s minions after him. All because he couldn’t just walk away when they tried to take her, even though it’s what he had been paid to do. Find the girl, transport her to Corvus and hand her over. The why didn’t matter to him so much as the payment. And maybe if everything had gone the way it should have - three days, max, of traveling with her before handing her over - then he wouldn’t be in this situation. But transport had taken nearly two months for an increasingly absurd number of reasons.

Dodging bounty hunters. Damage to the stabilizer on his ship. Two attempted abductions of her.

So naturally, by the time Joel had gotten her to Morgan, she had walked away with this faintly betrayed look on her face that had wormed underneath his beskar and pressed against his heart until he’d caved. He’d damn near blown the place up getting her out of there, and now she was curled up on the front seat of his ship, chin on her knees, scrapes on her hands and a scratch across her face.

Joel sighs, the sound slightly distorted by his helmet. “C’mon, Ellie, let’s get you cleaned up.”

–

Ellie’s not speaking to him, it would seem. Even though he went back for her, she apparently wasn’t over the fact that he’d left her to begin with. So she stays completely silent - more quiet than she’s ever been around him - as he wipes down her hands and her face and pulls out clean clothes for her to wear.

Once she reemerges, clean and dressed and still sulking, Joel nudges her gently up to the cockpit of the ship.

“You hurt?”

She doesn’t respond, and when Joel turns back to look at her, she mutely shakes her head.

“Good.” He lowers himself to the seat, tilting his head towards the one to his right. “Buckle up.” They’re sort of just cruising through space at this point, the ship on autopilot while Joel figures out what to do and where to point them, but that won’t be sufficient for long. He’s gonna need a plan, an actual plan. Somewhere safe for them to lay low for a bit.

And he thinks he knows just the guy to help them out.

–

“How old did you say you were?”

Ellie’s arms are crossed over her chest, face turned out the window. “Eight,” she says flatly. She looks younger than it though, probably closer to six if he’d had to guess. He’s got no way of knowing what her genetic makeup is though - and it’d be rude as hell to ask - so maybe she just aged slower, looked younger for longer.

“What did they want with you?”

“How should I know?” She bites out, still not looking at him.

Joel fiddles with the controls a bit, double checks their flight path. “They didn’t say nothin’?”

“Nope.” She pops the end of the word, emphasizing the ‘p’. “Just wheeled me back and started sticking needles in my arms.”

Joel sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them, Ellie has finally turned to look at him, staring at him so hard he thinks she’s trying to see straight through his helmet to his face. He’s never been more glad to not take it off - she’s young, but she’s too goddamn perceptive.

“Y’know,” he says slowly, gloved fingers gripping the sides of the yoke. “You asked me awhile back why I wear the helmet and don’t take it off.”

Ellie’s eyes narrow. “Yeah…”

Joel hadn’t given her an answer then, too focused on keeping a distance between him and the target. She was just a job, he’d reminded himself, even when he caught himself smiling behind his helmet at one of her many - many - ridiculous puns. Just a job. So he’d ignored that question and most of the others she’d asked.

Felt a little like he owed her an answer now, after the events of the last twelve hours.

“It’s part of my religion.” He turns away from her, finds the words flowing easier when he’s looking out at the inky darkness of space and not right into the eyes that no longer look at him so trustfully. “It’s complicated, very long story. But pretty much we wear the helmets at all times, and to remove it with those who are not family, or to have it removed, is a great dishonor. I only take it off when I’m alone. But I do that so rarely that it feels strange when I don’t have it on, like I’m missin’ some part of myself.”

Joel hears Ellie move but doesn’t look over at her, more concerned with the appearance of Nevarro in the distance.

“Cool,” Ellie replies after a pause, and he thinks her voice sounds a little warmer than it had before. “Thanks…thanks for telling me.”

“No problem, kiddo.”

–

The house is right where it should be, and as Joel readjusts his landing gear and angles them carefully down, he sees the glint of a sun off the owner’s helmet.

By the time Joel emerges, Ellie in tow, Din is standing in the doorway. Next to his boot, peeking out with wide obsidian eyes, is the small green - Joel feels bad calling it a creature, but nobody knows what species he is - form of his adopted son.

Joel lifts a hand in greeting, and Din matches the gesture. “I won’t stay long,” he says without preamble. “Ran into some trouble, and thought maybe you could help me out. If not, we’ll be on our way.”

Din’s head tilts to the side and then up, as though scanning for anyone who may have followed them. His son shifts over, and Joel catches Ellie’s whispered whoa from behind him.

“Grogu,” Din says warningly, and Grogu stops from where he’d been inching forward. His head turns back towards the Mandalorian, ears twitching, and Din tilts his head back down. Some sort of wordless message seems to pass between father and son, and then Grogu turns back to look at them, a cooing noise emanating from him. He doesn’t move any closer though.

“What do you need?” Din asks, his attention now back on Joel and Ellie.

“‘S a long story,” Joel replies. “But we need somewhere to hide out for awhile, till the people after her stop lookin’.”

Din’s head shifts minutely, as though he’s looking from Joel to Ellie and then back again. Even with two helmets - neither of their expressions visible to the other - Joel feels like he’s having his measure taken.

“She your foundling?”

“Foundl–” Ellie sputters behind him, but Joel cuts her off.

“Yes,” he says firmly.

Din is quiet for another long moment - Joel gets the sense that the other Mandalorian is a man of very few words - and Grogu coos again, his attention now on a bug crawling through the grass near him. His father looks down at him and…it surprises Joel, the visible way Din’s posture loosens and relaxes, watching Grogu waddle along slowly.

“I know a place,” he says softly, breaking the still air. His helmet is still angled towards Grogu, tracking every small move the child makes. “Safe. Quiet. Shouldn’t have any issues there.”

Relief wraps around Joel like a blanket, a weight he hadn’t even realized was on his chest lifting. “Thank you.”

Din nods. “This is the way.”

“This is the way.”

–

Joel’s careful as he sets down the ship in the field, already noting the heads emerging from a nearby field to watch him warily. They were a peaceful people, Din had said, but wary of outsiders. But once he found Omera and introduced himself, they’d relax and he and Ellie would be given shelter.

He looks back at Ellie, watches her peering out the window curiously. “Stay close to me,” he orders. “Don’t say anything.”

Ellie just rolls her eyes at him, traipsing along dutifully behind him. “Yeah, yeah.”

A fair number of people have gathered by the time he lowers the ramp and the two of them descend, the looks on their faces ranging from curious to openly hostile. Joel’s careful to keep his hands visible and away from the weapons on his hips, eyes flicking quickly from one person to the next.

“We’re not lookin’ for trouble,” he says loudly when they’re within earshot. “I was sent here by a friend. I’m lookin’ for Omera.”

A quick flurry of whispers passes through the crowd, heads turning and words hidden behind hands. Two people peel off from the group and dart away, and Joel watches them go with narrowed eyes. Nobody else says anything after they leave, all eyes remaining on Joel and Ellie. He can see them examining him from helmet to booted feet, taking in the dents on his armor, the gleam of the beskar on his chest, the gun at his hip.

But they all remain distant and observant until the two return, this time with a willowy woman with brown hair between them.

“Who are you?” She asks without preamble, coming to a halt ten feet away.

“Name’s Joel,” he replies gruffly. “This is Ellie –” he gestures behind him and sees her lift her hand in a wave from the corner of his eye “– and we need your help. Got some people after her, and my friend, another Mandalorian, said this was a safe place, if you’ll let us stay for a bit.”

“Hmm.” Her gaze narrows, lips pursing. “This friend - tell me about them.”

Joel shifts, eyes drifting past her to the still-swelling group of villagers behind her. “He’s a Mandalorian, like me. Travelin’ with his kid, small green child. Helped y’all get some raiders to leave you alone, him and Cara Dune.”

Omera’s face relaxes more and more with each word he utters, something wistful passing through her eyes before she looks away.

“Any friend of his is a friend of mine,” she says softly. “Come with me.”

–

It takes very little time at all for Sorgan to feel like home. The other children in the village take to Ellie almost immediately, and while there’s some lingering wariness towards Joel, it fades more and more each day. He doesn’t know how long they’ll be able to safely stay here, but he’s content in a way he hasn’t been in years.

“Joel!” Ellie yells, the door banging against the wall as she barges in. “Guess what?”

He uncrosses his boots, smiling behind his helmet at the sight of her. Covered in grass and dirt and what looks a bit like slime. “What, kiddo?”

She kicks off her shoes by the door, chest heaving. “I finally - fucking - beat - Visz - racing –” She doubles over, sucking in air to catch her breath.

Joel chuckles. “Nice. How about you celebrate by goin’ to wash up and get ready for dinner?”

Ellie salutes him and turns down the hall towards her room. Joel gets up to check behind her that the door’s shut properly, the curtains drawn over the windows. And then he sets the table, listening all the while for the sounds of Ellie cleaning up and returning.

Carefully, with a measured breath that does nothing to slow the way his pulse is racing, Joel lifts his helmet from his head and sets it on the side table. The breastplate and shoulder pauldrons follow, one piece at a time until he’s left in a simple long-sleeve shirt and the armor covering his legs.

And then he waits.

It’s only a few more minutes before Ellie emerges, water dripping from the ends of her hair. She’s looking down at the ground as she walks, not paying him the slightest bit of attention until she rounds the corner.

“Hey Joel, did we –”

Ellie halts so fast that she nearly over balances, eyes wide and jaw hanging. Joel doesn’t say anything, just sits with his elbows braced on his knees and his hands clasped, waiting for her reaction.

Her eyes flick to the helmet and back to him again, raking over his face. “You - you’re not wearing your helmet.” Joel inclines his head. “But you –” she pauses, clearly thinking back months ago, when he’d told her why he wore the helmet all the time. Ellie swallows. “You said you only take it off around…family.”

“I did,” Joel agrees softly.

Ellie clears her throat, takes a few careful steps forward. “So…I’m not just cargo?”

Joel’s throat tightens, jaw grinding, silently cursing himself. “No, baby girl, you’re not.”

“Okay.” A few more steps forward, until her feet are brushing the tips of his boots. “Okay, cool.”

He feels exposed in a way he’s not used to, watching Ellie take in every possible facet of his face - the scars, the wrinkles, the gray peppering his beard and hair. Nothing hidden from her this time around.

“You’re old,” Ellie finally says with a giggle. Her hand lifts, one of her fingers poking gently at his cheek. “How do your bones not collapse with all that armor, don’t they deteriorate at some point?”

“Little shit,” Joel says affectionately, batting her hand away and poking her own cheek in turn. She laughs again, hand falling to her side.

“Old man,” she retorts playfully. And then before Joel can blink - or even register the movement - she’s flung her arms around his neck, face buried in his shoulder. Automatically his own arms come up and wrap around her small frame in turn. She stays there for a minute and Joel lets her, hand rubbing softly between her shoulder blades. He waits for her to detach first, watches carefully as she steps back and scrubs at her cheek. 

“C’mon, kiddo,” Joel nudges her towards the table. “Let’s eat dinner.”

thanks for reading! you can find the full ficlet collection on my ao3.

anon, if this wasn't quite what you were looking for please let me know, and i'll try again!

[neontokyoo]

*Slides in* so. You asked for something. (I have a female reader in mind, feel free to do write however you want.)

Imagine for whatever reason, Tav/Durge/reader is turned tiny- a chibi version of her, if you will.

How would the party carry you around? What would she wear? What if they engage in a fight? What if we include Gortash in this

I suppose Gale would put her inside a floating resilience sphere (with Boo for her protection, of course.)

Imagine trying to wrap a piece of cloth around yourself for cover; huffing and puffing due to all the effort it takes and suddenly someone Astarion pinches pinches those smol, mochi buttcheeks.

Or pushing ink, paper, books and other things around on the desk as Enver writes down his plans for leading the world to a catastrophe.

Shadowheart is not above forcing her to do a fashion show with whatever she uses as dress and clothing on her.

I'm sorry this is basically brain vomit. Doesn't stop me from sending other shit in the future tho

Sorry for the wait, I’ve been really busy this week because my husband and I are expecting to have twins really soon so I haven’t really been writing a whole lot and most of my asks are either queued or in my drafts. This was made like last minute so I hope it’s alright lol

Pairing: Fem!Durge!Tav x party (with Astarion as a love interest, I’m assuming?) ft. Gortash Genre: fluff Summary: ⬆️ Warnings: sexual themes/references to sex.

Basic Headcanons:

If Tav was tiny, I would believe that everyone has a different way to carry her.

Gale would keep her in the pocket of his robes.

Karlach and Wyll would probably carry her on their heads and just let her hold on to their horns if she needs to.

Lae’zel, Shadowheart, Minthara, Jaheira and Astarion would probably just carry her on their shoulders.

The animals, such as the owlbear cub, Scratch, and maybe even Halsin would just let her ride of either their backs or their heads.

Assuming that she’s no smaller than a hamster, Minsc and Boo would probably just let her chill in Boo’s little hamster ball until she’s needed in combat.

If we include Gortash in this, I feel like he’d just be fighting everyone over Tav all the time considering their past relationship. I mean, he’d probably love to have a pocket-sized ex, honestly. He’d just carry her around everywhere and never have to worry about anyone taking her because she’s buried and well-hidden in his pocket.

But assuming that her love interest is Astarion, it’s always an ongoing battle between her current lover and her ex-lover. She’s always being passed around between the two and fought over.

Gale likes to put her and boo inside of a floating resilience sphere and just carry her around like that.

Despite being small, she’s still pretty powerful in combat. Especially being the Dark Urge. Don’t let her looks fool you, because she’s equally as aggressive as she used to be when she was bigger.

An actual story now

Being small wasn’t the easiest. It was fun sometimes, but never easy. Especially when it comes to clothing and getting certain people’s attention.

Usually Tav’s party is able to loot the armor and clothing from their enemies after a battle, which Astarion and Shadowheart cut up and use to make armor and clothing that are small enough fit her. But there are some days where she has to figure it out herself and wrap scraps of fur, wool, or fabric around herself. But that doesn’t ever work because every time she tries to cover herself up, Astarion always ends up ripping it off, being the mildly perverted lover he is.

Of course, they can’t have sex anymore because of how small she is now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t admire her tiny little body. Right?

It was very rare for her to make DIY clothing, however, because Shadowheart was always coming up with something to dress her up in, with the help of Astarion. She’d often make Tav do little fashion shows for the clothing she and astarion made for Tav.

But when Tav isn’t with her friends, she’s usually off trying to annoy her ex-boyfriend or feeding her urges. Which is almost equally as frustrating as trying to cover herself up without having Astarion destroy everything.

She usually finds a way to climb on top of Enver’s desk. But it doesn’t usually do anything because he’s always hyper focused on terrorizing the world. She usually has to shove everything off of his desk for him to notice she’s there. But when he does notice her, she’s never able to annoy him like she wanted to. Instead he ends up being the annoying one.

[anime-simp-0]

what i think each MHA 1A student would do in a quirkless society

midoriya: nurse. oh my god i saw a fanart of nurse deku forever ago and it was fine asf. but anyways. i think he would still have the desire to help people and save them, but not wanna go running head first into buildings. so, he decides to use his head and hands instead. i could also see emt since it’s still a little dangerous for his adrenaline junkie ass without almost burning alive.

bakugo: i can’t explain why but quirkless AU bakugo to me is always a firefighter 🤷. i think he is a junkie when it comes to danger and saving people is just engrained in him so, even without a quirk, he would still wanna do something whether military or police service.

todoroki: i’m gonna say family business. but he runs it the exact opposite of his old man just to piss him off.

kirishima: public service of some kind. i’m stuck between police officer or a firefighter cuz i could see both. on one hand, i could see him running head fire into fires with bakugo being each others partners and saving each other left and right since he’s the only one that can put up with him. but i can also see him as the police officer of an area. like the one that everyone loves and treats with respect. so much so that even the gangsters and drug dealers are like “hey sir, how’s your day been” because kiri wasn’t disrespect even when arresting them.

denki: i'm gonna say electronical engineer. he might act stupid but he managed to pass the UA written exam just like the other members of UA so clearly there is a brain up there. Having said that, electronics were something he always thought were cool and he started messing around with them as a kid and it stuck.

sero: i feel like he would LEGALLY sell marijuana. like he would have a license to and would sell edible snacks as well as marijuana straight. he just gives me hippie-ish "the world is less shitty when your high" vibes so he sells good quality weed so people get blissed.

iida: i think his family business would be something tech based instead of heroing. i still think they would make bank from it tho. and the family business would make him feel obligated to follow it.

aoyama: model. enough said.

uraraka: probably join the family construction company “temporarily” but then always come up with an excuse to why she needs to stay. “well, __ is gonna be on a 1 week vacation so, i’ll put in my notice after they’re back” “well, now it’s close to *insert holiday* so i better stay and help get the projects done faster” and on and on.

momo: design. whether fashion, interior design, architecture. something with design tho. she likes being able to create things from scratch. enjoys watching what she can turn things into.

jirou: musician. specifically vocalist and guitarist for a indie rock / alternative rock band.

ojiro: i feel like he would totally have a therapy office where you talk about your feelings while doing yoga 😂. his reason is it helps align your body and your mind.

tsu: i feel like she would be one of those people that study plants and creatures in their native habitats. but she would exclusively work with ponds, rivers and streams and has a deep love and interest/fascination with frogs.

mina: model. i think she would start as a model for a fitness brand and would gradually move over to being a diverse model as her career grows.

hagakure: kindergarden teacher for some reason. i can't explain why. it just seems right in my brain.

satou: baker. like come on.

tokoyami: musician. specifically guitarist for a rock / metal band. it just… fits.

koda: something to do with animals. whether that’s working at a zoo or traveling the world studying animals.

shouji: cop. he's really good at spacial awareness and protecting his partners. plus he has really fast reflexes.

mineta: he died <3

[princessmaybank]

hiiiii can you do when you're sober and new message in one? if not do the one you wanna do more bestie 💕🥺

I like swimming and reading (and writing), but I also know how to code even though I wouldn't call myself good (I mean, I know a lot but I don't personally perceive myself to be too good at it, apart from the guys in my classes who all think they are the best at everything 🙄), anyway. I'm ADHD, dyslexic and autistic lol, bingo on that shit. uhmmm I think mostly listen to indie pop, mostly pop but I go through a wide range of genres, I'm not very picky as long as my brain gets scratched. right now my most listened to artists are prolly Dominic Fike, RoleModel, Billie Eilish and Reneé Rapp. My favorite movie is Howl's Moving Castle (watching it right now for the second time this week) most ppl when they first meet me think I'm a bitch, but I think that's just because of autism and the fact that I don't trust people as easily, I'm very curious but cautions. I'm definitely NOT a passenger princess lol, I love driving too much (the feeling when you let go of the clutch and hit the gas at the exact same moment is just chef's kiss). I love cappuccino and iced coffee and peach iced tea.

idk if this is enough lol, she/her pronouns are okay, any nicknames are okay, you can go nuts on that 😘😘 love ya

OMG POOKIE!! I was in the middle of your When You're Sober and I received a letter from JJ, it's addressed to you so here ya go! I attached it here so it wouldn't get lost!

I think you are most like JJ and Kiara!

I'd ship you with JJ or John B!

And here's your letter from JJ!

Hi Babygirl!

It's been a while since I've received your last letter. Sorry bout that, haven't had much time to write!

Hope you are having fun, I can't believe you watched that movie, AGAIN! Will it ever be enough for you baby? Probably not lol. I'm glad to hear you have been drivin' tho, maybe I get you on my bike when I come back. Or even just get you to ride ;) I know you said you don't like bein' a passenger princess, but ya got no choice when I'm there baby. Not gonna let my girl do all the drivin' (but maybe I'll let you drive stick every once in a while...)

I promise I'll get you all the coffee and tea you want when I'm home again. Maybe even watch Howl's Moving Castle with you (AGAIN).

Alright gotta go babygirl, I sent a pic of me too just for you ;)

Love,

JJ

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

so ive been thinking about both Rita x Pandora and Bellatrix x Pandora and now my brain came with:

Bella x Rita x Pandora

i need your opinion, headcanons and a ship name

HSBSIEBE8EI I LOVE THEM!!!

okay, so, not sure abt the ship name tbh. maybe killerpearlgift? idk.

for the hc's:

all three of them are early birds, but pandora stays in bed the longest. she makes the other two stay with her

bella is the most possessive out of the three of them

pandora makes them join her on her odd adventures

quillkiller learn a bunch of weird funfacts through pandora that they end up sharing with their friends (without even realizing)

druella almost had a heart attack when bella told her abt her two girlfriends

they go on a date every friday. routine means a lot to pandora, and she gets upset when her routine is interrupted (one time, bella missed the date and forgot to tell her gf's. pandora didn't talk to her for a week)

quillkiller fight a lot, and pandora is their mediator

they have the softest mornings ever. they're all cuddly and clingy

they adore luna sm. she's their little girl. they spoil her rotten

(quillkiller have a bad habit of shit talking xeno in front of little luna, tho)

they make sure luna never feels bad for being different. they make sure that she knows that she is part of the noble and most ancient house of black and no one can EVER say something bad about her

rita loves to leave scratch marks all over them, bella likes leaving hickeys and bite marks, pandora also likes bitemarks (her's are (not so) surprisingly the deepest)

sry for the late reply btw. I swear I've been trying to reply. I just haven't found the time (or energy) to do so

[quinloki]

QUIN

I’m glad you’re doing okay!! I would jokingly scold you to take care of yourself but I’m operating on 5 hours of sleep and I ate pretzel bites and cookie cake for lunch so like

I can’t even speak on that I’m not doing much better xD

I took today off to take my niece (she’s 1.5) to a children’s museum out of town. Her and my sister are visiting from Florida for a few weeks so we’re bonding and omg it was so much easier when she wasn’t mobile kids run so friggin fast spending like 5 hours at this children’s museum has solidly confirmed my decision to not have children. She’s stupid cute but it’s like free birth control hanging out with her. We’re gonna watch the Taylor Swift concert movie later tho, I gotta do my job as auntie and properly educate her xD

Rambling now about your work but I cannot accurately count how often I read magic trick

Like I always debate commenting every time bc I’m like this is not normal

That and that uh… hot spring Marco one I sent you once are my go to when I want to have some light birb reading before bed >>

Magic trick is just so good and everytime it makes me stupid giggle just thinking about HIM

Ugh the whole fire following scratches makes me feral like fuck dude you were brilliant for that

I also may have an Ace and Izou kitty coming and another Marco figure >> I need to STOP but I’m kind of burnt out and apparently retail therapy is needed T_T it’s whatever the blorbos will make it better and ive been buying some stuffs second hand so the price really isn’t a a concern

The burnout is also making my brain a little more extra frazzled so sorry this is all over the place xD

I hope you’re doing so much better after the extra sleep and hope you have a SUPER weekend >o<

\o/ This was good. There's not much for me to say, you gave me plenty of cool new knowledge, and I got some praise <3

I think Magic Trick was my first real Marco piece. I don't know that I even had an event piece for him before hand.

and now look where we are. XD

Thank you Kaz, and yeah, we both need to make sure we get a little extra shut eye.

[mochinon-yah]

NUUU ITS OKEY NWS!! i've been like off-and-online sporadically but anyway coughs

yeee!!! i hope that you're able to get some time to yourself so you can do the things you enjoy heheheh (speaking of which, what are some of your fave manwhas? i need some new ones to read ;-;) but good luck with that project!

(dw i got scratched by a cat too a couple times)

YE CATBEDO!!

fr tho, i feel like he'd be a lot clingier than he normally is? especially when i'm off doing my own thing like drawing or sewing. he'd probably mess around with my art supplies at some point just out of spite /aff. "oh, i see you. you're just being cheeky."

or "i just saw you knock over my paint, don't act all cute, mister."

methinks he's not very subtle smh. i just happened to be looking jskfjsbfhs

but anyway! i'd love to learn how to drive someday, but now since i'm too anxious and i get like very overwhelmed easily guh ;3; (night drives are scary, thats why i'm usually the passenger princess + im not expected to drive but my bf said he'd teach me someday. man drives like a grandma tho JFKSNFBS)

oho icic well im slowlyyyy falling down the hsr rabbit hole bc of sunday and jiaoqiu so im like on the brink of becoming obsessed hehe

THIS IS SO LATE VIVI, I'M SORRY 😭😭😭

I got too busy with life and i forgot that you actually sent an ask 😭😭 i even forgot fish's ask hdhdhdjdjd my bad everyone, i'm not one to engange in social interactions all the time so maybe that's why i forgot orz

Anyway, moving on to the ask-

After this really busy project of mine, i'm finally able to get some me time to myself! Actually, tomorrow, i'm going to go to a haunted house near the place i live with my friends jdnddnhdjdj we've been wanting to go there but yea life got busy and the plan got postponed

But finally!!!! I am going 🤩💪

I HAVE A LOT OF FAVE MANWHAS ACTUALLY!!! Omg i don't have a lot of people to talk abt this with, but i need your fave genre of manwhas so i can recommend something that you'd like!

Catbedo.... i can totally imagine that 😆

I bet he really just annoys you on purpose so he could get attention lol, i can see him be all "what? i'm not doing anything, what do you i'm bothering you?" He's becoming so cheeky after meeting you, it's wild 😭

LMAOOO YEAH YEAH he's not very subtle but your observation skill is literally on top, so you just sometimes see him be a mess of a man and you can't help but to laugh bdnsjsjjdns

OH imagine if that's what makes him so interested in you!! He did something dumb cute -> you saw and laughed silently -> he's curious as to who saw that (σ≧▽≦)σ i think that'd be such a cute fluff story!!

but anyway! i'd love to learn how to drive someday, but now since i'm too anxious and i get like very overwhelmed easily guh ;3; (night drives are scary, thats why i'm usually the passenger princess + im not expected to drive but my bf said he'd teach me someday. man drives like a grandma tho JFKSNFBS)

Honestly being anxious to drive is so normal, so don't worry about it vivi!! Idk about the place you live in, but if you wanna drive, you should learn it continuously without stopping so your brain doesn't forget! If i remember correctly, my brother learned how to drive in one week (like actually driving a car and all that) continuously, because if he did stop, he could forget some stuff :o so i kinds think it's a matter of do u want to do it or do you reeeeaalllyyy want to do it?

Well, all in all, good luck vivi!!! (Before moving on to the last topic, i gotta mention the way you said ur bf drives like a grandma and laugh at it for a while LMAO)

Oh yk i can see why you'd like sunday and jiaoqiu, they both have similar vibe with each other 😭😭 do u perhaps like to simp for sussy guys- i mean, yeah, me too bestie- *coughs* the hsr rabbit hole is not gonna swallow you itself, so take ur time lmao once you're in, it's gonna be hard to get out 😆

[nyaawn]

Graphics Update & Derplander's face: A Research

or My Shallow Attempt to Make Sense Why That DT Derplander's Face Look So Oddly Different. For Science.

(Ok I know the benchmark has been out for more than a week and a lot has been said about it, but I was busy and only had time to mess around with it recently. Tho actually no I didn't have time and I really should sleep rather than spend my remaining braincells mulling over freaking fictional character's face. But pesky part of my brain would keep bothering me about it otherwise. So let me try putting my finger on it)

On last Live Letter broadcast they open with benchmark trailer. I thought, "Oh nice. Since I also play a Derplander I can just watch their trailer to see the graphic update on his fac---"

.

.

.

"... ...... .....Who is that?"

This Derplander was so confused and as Derplander main I was left deeply concerned.

What the heck happened?? Is it the update? Is it the new hair? Hair change can change his face so much? Why he look so off? Whhhyyyyyyyy-------

Benchmark downloaded, I embarked to find the truth *insert dramatic bgm here*

First thing in my mind, well we see that in livestream, of course streaming quality would made it look bad. Hence I start with running the benchmark right away with default character setting. The result, now I have better image quality, I can clearly see his skin texture etc and he does looks better, but still so different than what I used to. Oh dear am I doomed with this graphic update.... Well let's see how he fare in character creator next. I put in the usual Derplander/Ardbert face setting: Hyur, Midlander, medium build, Face type #5 or #7.... Hmm wait they touch up Face#7?

Yep, Face#7 isn't simply 'Face#5-with-stubble-slapped-on' anymore. There's plenty of contouring going on now. It's like make up, tho irl people use it to look flawless, here they use it to make him more flawed lol. Frown lines, dark and bright smudges to increase the rugged appearance. That highlight on his forehead almost distractingly so. It sure make his brow bones look like they jut out a lot more. Maybe that's why his forehead look so bright and prominent in that trailer? But all in all they do give the face more dimension and suitably older without changing the face model itself, which is smart. Other than contouring, they only change the eye shape a bit with sharper corner. Oh and thicker eyebrows, for some reason...

Alright, that cover the face type. Moving on with the rest of his face: Eye#1, Nose#1, Lip#1. No big change with them, at least none that I can see. Next, color: eyes blue, no lip coloring. Done!

The result... is still the Derplander that I know and familiar with. Older and more rugged, yes. But that's him alright.

WAIIIIT,,,, everyone else complain that their character look off in Character Creator but look alright in benchmark cutscene, why I'm the opposite?? I think he look okay in CC but look different in cutscene. Wth happened here?

Still scratching my head, I throw him into benchmark and...

Oh. Oooh, I see now.. Apparently, they didn't use that setting anymore...

I made wrong assumption that they use Derplander usual character setting as default WoL like in previous benchmarks. Then further assumed the change I saw was chiefly because of graphic update. But as you can see, for default they use different nose and jaw. Add those to the change with face type I mentioned above. It's not that the DT trailer Derplander's face feel different. It is different face.

*headdesk* OKAY PROBLEM SOLVED I GUESS (ﾉಥ▿ಥ）ﾉ彡┻━┻

.........

Naaah, I already staring at his face for so long only to reach such anticlimactic conclusion. Let's stare some more! *sunkcostfallacy*

Well, ignoring the new hairstyle and its floating sideburns (kek), now they use jaw#4 and nose#5, I think? And tho it can't be seen clearly in that gif quality, they also change his eye color. Before I thought it's just because of lighting, but they really change them to green hue rather than his previous blue (you got Mako-juiced bro?). I think I understand why they made those change tho. When paired with his old face, that new hairstyle can make his lower face look strangely short/squished (which was my concern when they unveil that hair in cg trailer. Even in real life that kind of hairstyle could mess with head balance). Hence the change to wider, longer jaw. And to balance that jaw, bigger nose. Dunno what with his eye tho.

It's not very noticeable but there's one more change they made, however it's one I completely onboard with: His skin color. After giving his CG counterpart a tan (hooray!), finally they also give his in-game model a (veeeeerrry sliiight) tan (still HOORAAY!). I've been saying for years that he look too pale. WoL supposedly running around under the sun all the time, why in tarnation he was still as pale as milk. This time, though I only eyeballed it, from various comparison pic I think I can say with some confidence they had moved quite a few step down that skintone table:

I would prefer they also take a step to the right (which is the skintone that I give to my own WoL, and even with that I still often think mine's too pale. But to change it I need to pay for another fanta, so I left him be), but hey baby step. At least he's more strawberry milk now rather than just milk.

Anyway, others might not think he look that different from before. But maybe since I played with him for thousand and thousand of hours, even a slight difference can cause uncomfortable sense of wrongness. This is also the case for numerous players who complained that their WoLs looks off, I guess. Though their case certainly isn't a dumb character setting mistake like mine, that graphic update sure can change character's vibe. Fortunately after scrutinizing it for some time, I think I can live with it? At least for most part..

The update change lighting and texture across the board, and maybe some modeling too? For characters, one of most visible overhaul is their skin. In that skin, well, look even more like skin, for better or worse. In face type#5 /#7 that Derplander use, his laugh lines and sunken cheek are fairly discernible now.

Same chara setting, very similar angle and lighting, across different builds. With the new lighting shadow falls more naturally, in effect giving a rounder, less dramatic impression. But more than that, those visible facial lines along with further detailed eye wrinkles make him seem a looot older. While the guy in the left might go "I'm going on an adventure!", the man in right look tired of all worldly affairs..

That said, I don't mind it that much. I want my WoL to look older with time, so I'm okay with this. Players who also use this face type but don't want their WoL to suddenly turn into middle aged man might feel different, however. Not to mention the more realistic facial lines could push it towards uncanny valley. Will need some time to get used to it, that's for sure.

But one graphic update quirk that I'm less enthusiastic with is: eyeline. I wonder, it seems there's something going on with how this new lighting interact with eye area, in that when eye rim fall under shadow of something the eyeliner immediately goes wild:

See his left eye? Nothing else change here, just his hair. But when his eye fall under shadow of sidebangs, bam. Thick eyeliner make its glorious appearance and suddenly he look super evil (Tho to be fair this shot is hardly flattering and most WoLs I saw look highly menacing there. It's just those dark rims brought him an extra malm). Maybe this is why many Viera players complained about weird eyelines? Thankfully in other lighting/ non-closeup those eyeliners seems to go away. In other scenes all version of him looks okay enough.

.............

So TL:DR I made mistake assuming the odd difference I saw was because graphic update, while in reality it's because they use different face setting altogether. I think I'm going to be fine just using Derplander's old setting going forward as thankfully the update didn't change him too badly. Imo for most part I think the new graphic looks superb even.

But yeah that eyeliner man. I hope they can tell it to chill down a bit. I'm looking forward to the further adjustment they said they'll do. Hopefully Derplander can retain his fairly nice guy, slightly derpy look that we know and love, and less looking like a guy who's ready to start his villain origin story.

........or maybe he already started? 🤔

oh well thanks for glancing at my TED talk. Ima going to sleep now...