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glassartpeasants · 6 months

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How to Love .02

Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, self-esteem issues, fluff, semi slow-burn, author writing this at 4am in the morning

A/N: here ya'll go. Sorry if i missed some @ there's just a lot of ya'll

prologue pt.1 pt.2 pt.3

music playlist

~~~

Laying on the couch in Law’s apartment, you couldn’t help but constantly stare at the clock. Watching time go by slowly felt like hell, but there was nothing else you could do. Nothing you had the energy to do. With it being 2:03 am, the whole city was dead, and everyone snuggled in their beds. Dreaming peacefully. Yet here you were, awake and unable to have anything other than nightmares.

Every single night since you caught your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend, the same nightmare happens. A replay of what you walked into when you went to confront them. You’d wake up from the nightmare, and when you’d go back to sleep, you would be right back into the nightmare. It was almost mentally easier to just stay awake than go to sleep.

But the times when you wanted to sleep, you just couldn’t. You’ve gotten so used to Eustass’s heartbeat as a lullaby to help you sleep that now it's almost impossible to sleep without it. Or how sometimes he’d run his fingers through your hair when he thought you were asleep. Just the small things had such an effect on you that even after knowing what he’d done, it infuriated you.

How dare your heart demand his presence despite it being broken?

You don’t know if Eustass has tried to call or text you. As soon as you entered Law’s car, you blocked him on everything you could think of. It took everything inside you not to leave him unblocked on one thing, just to see what he had to say. Being so in love with him that even seeing the color red reminds you of him. His lipstick and the stains it’d leave behind when he kissed you. His beautiful red hair and how it was soft to the touch haunted your fingertips. The image of him laying his head on your chest, sleeping as you combed through his hair after a long day.

Your vision grew blurry as tears started to slip from your eyes. Pain and heartbreak fill each tear as it burns along your skin. Curling up in a ball the nest you could, you try your best to provide yourself comfort. You had no one’s shoulder to cry on. The two most influential people in your life betrayed you and left you all alone. You didn’t want to bother Law since he was suffering, too, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. He already has so much on his plate, working nonstop, the initial betrayal of (.....), and no doubt other things he hasn’t expressed or that you’ve observed. He’s already been kind enough to let you stay at his apartment for a bit until you find someplace. You didn’t want to be even more of a burden by asking him to listen to you sob.

The whole situation was a mess. Never in your life have you felt more alone than you do now. You lay on a friend's couch, trying not to sob and wake them up. You couldn’t turn on the TV to watch something because Law was sleeping, and from what (.....) told you before all this happened, he was a light sleeper. Probably, even closing the refrigerator door would wake him up.

A memory from when you and Eustass would get midnight snacks before watching some sort of show. When grabbing a drink of water, you’d only come back and see him pouting like a child when he awoke to see you not in his arms. You used to love times like those. He was always so cuddly during those times.

“Why the long face, babe?” Setting a foot back into your room after grabbing some water, you return to see your lover with his arms crossed as he sits up to look at you.

“You're not in bed.”

“Yeah, 'cause I was getting water. Am I not allowed to be thirsty?” Giggles leave your lips as you make your way over to your side of the bed. Placing the water glass on your nightstand, you snuggled back under the covers. Not even seconds pass before you feel two hands grab your waist and pull you closer to the man beside you. Your body is wholly trapped as Eustass wraps his arms around you. Burying his face on the top of your head, you hear him let out a contempt sigh.

“I love it when you're all cuddly. It makes me feel so safe when you're next to me.” You feel him placing kisses on your head before making you face up so he can kiss your lips. You can still see the pink on his pale, freckled skin even in the dark. Placing your hands on his cheeks, you rub his cheekbones and look into his eyes.

“So glad you never gave up, and I’m so glad I said yes. I’ve never been happier.” As he groans in embarrassment, you begin to plant kisses all over Eustass's face.

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing the places the angels missed. You need to be covered in kisses 'cause I said so.” Eustass hides his face in your neck before kissing it.

“I love you.” While quiet, you can still hear his confession as he whispers against your skin.

“Love you more.” You heard him say no before repeating your words. Fake scoffing, you smile as you play his game.

The sound of your sniffling broke through your flashback as reality came back with a punch. Instead of laying in bed with two strong arms wrapped around you, you were sleeping on a couch with your pillow drenched in tears. The roll of toilet paper you stole in place of tissues was almost gone, as the garbage was filled to the brim. Suddenly, the familiar jingle of Bepo’s collar rang through your ears.

“Meow…” Through the darkness, you can see his beautiful while fur rubbing against the couch. You watch him lift his body so his paws are on the cushions before fully jumping onto the couch. The feeling of him lying by your chest made you sniffle yet smile. Moving your arm, you go to pet the animal lying peacefully beside you.

“Guess you know exactly when someone needs you, huh?” The sound of his purring made a shaky sigh leave your lips. The vibrations against your chest calmed you down slightly. But while the harsh tears subsided, the burning pain in your heart stayed the same.

“Why wasn’t I good enough? I did everything right. Is there something wrong with me?” Racking your brain, you struggle to think about Eustass without having the gnawing urge to sob into your pillow.

“Am I ugly? Did he just get sick of me? I don’t understand.” Swallowing the lump in your throat, you feel your fingers twitch.

“I wanted to marry him Bepo. I imagined the rest of my life with him. I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved him.” As the confession left your lips, the sound of Law’s bedroom door opening made you shut up altogether. Looking at the clock, you see that it’s precisely 4:30am. How time went by so quickly from your sobbing is unknown to you. Quick to rub your eyes, you listen carefully to Law’s footsteps approaching the living room. Despite your heart telling you to stay down and keep quiet, you ignored it and carefully moved your body up to see Law staring at you.

“Jesus Law! I heard you coming, and you still scared the shit outta me!” You hear him let out a small chuckle in the darkness.

“Why are you awake?” Pulling yourself up more, you try to sit up without kicking Bepo off the couch.

When you finally get a better look at Law, your heart skips a beat. There was Law, standing in front of an open window. The moonlight gave him a slight glow. Almost as if he were an angel. You could see a ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’ themed shirt hugging his frame along with grey sweatpants. The sound of your heart beating faster made you come back to the present.

“Oh! Well, I guess I’m just so used to sleeping beside someone that sleeping alone is hard. That and some other things.”

“Ah…”

“Also, I didn’t know you liked ‘Sora: Warrior of the Sea’!” Law’s face goes into shock as he looks down and remembers the shirt he wore to bed. A light pink dusted his cheeks, but he was thankful it was just dark enough for you not to see it.

“Oh…yeah.”

“What’s your favorite comic they’ve made? Mines volume 106.”

“You read the comics?”

“Of course! I have the whole collection in that storage garage down the street. It’s in there along with everything else I’ve gathered from my old apartment.”

“I guess my favorite is Volume 200. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, though.”

While you and Law hung out a lot during that semester in college, he wouldn’t have called you a close friend. A friend but not close enough for him to let you stay on his couch. So when he said that you could stay at his apartment the day everything happened, it shocked him when it slipped from his mouth. But now here, a week later, he’s glad he did. While neither of you spoke about the whole situation that had you sleeping on his couch in the first place, knowing he wasn’t totally alone was nice.

Especially when the person liked Sora just as much as he did.

“Do you work today? Is that why you're up so early?”

“Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah. Well, do you want to watch a movie? Like a Sora movie? I’m sure we can find one on Netflix or Hulu. We can even make popcorn so we can take our mind off, you know what.” Law stayed silent as he pondered your offer. Even though he’s not really a movie guy, he’s seen every Sora movie at least twice.

“Okay. But I don’t have any popcorn. I don’t like how it gets stuck in my teeth.”

“That’s fine! I think I bought some trail mix if that’s more to your liking. So which movie did you wanna watch? From what I remember, there's Sora: Warrior of the Sea vs. The Dark Depths. Sora-” Law fades out your voice as he feels a spark of joy when he hears you name off all the movies without missing a beat. A smile on your face the entire time you talked about it.

Somehow, even after catching Eustass cheating on you with your best friend, you still had a smile on your face. Yet, he could see the pain behind your eyes if he looked hard enough.

“The third one sounds fine.” Smiling at him, you pat the spot next to you on the couch.

“You need to tell me where you got that shirt. I want one.” Law watches you log into your Hulu account before searching for the movie.

Sitting down, Law relaxes on the cushion next to you. You grab one of the many blankets you have and hand him one. The warmth of the blanket held from being so close to you slightly soothes Law’s aching heart, if only for a bit.

“Alright! Movie on!” Law catches you, placing the remote between you before you turn your back to him.

“Can’t forget about my little marshmallow Bepo!” Law watched you grab Bepo and hold him close before giving him a little kiss.

“Since when did you two become so close?”

“Since he let me bawl into his fur. What? Jealous?” Law rolled his eyes, seeing you smirk.

“Not long ago, you said he needed a diet.”

“I still stand by that. Now, let’s appreciate the beauty of our favorite hero!” The situation Law found himself in was something he could’ve never foreseen. (.....) wasn’t interested much in Sora, so he never watched them with her or asked her to. But now, here you were with a big smile on your face as you watched his favorite movie with him, an obvious excitement coursing through your body as you hyped up the movie to the cat in your arms.

While Law wasn’t a movie guy, he thought a movie every now and then wouldn’t be so bad as long as it was with you.

~~~

“Thanks for coming to Skypeia Cafe! Have a good day!” Handing the freshly made latte to the lady on the other side of the counter, you receive a wave and a smile before she leaves. As soon as the door closes, you let out a heavy breath. The rush has finally gone down, and it feels like you can finally think straight.

“Don’t pass out on us now (Y/N). We still have the after-school rush.” Rubbing your eyes, you lean against the counter before turning your head to see who’s talking to you.

“Oh. It’s you, Killer. Haha, don’t remind me of it. The worst rush of the day.”

While it was awkward, you managed to get past the unease of working with your ex-boyfriend's best friend. It wasn’t fair to be mean to a man who had nothing to do with your ex-boyfriend's infidelity. Plus, he was pretty funny when he wanted to be.

You’ve known him for much longer before dating Eustass. The two of you have been co-workers from the start of college till now. While this was your only job, Killer worked at the cafe for some extra cash, but his real job was working at the mechanic’s shop about half a mile from your old place. He worked there with Eustass when he wasn’t at the cafe.

He didn’t talk much before Eustass properly introduced the two of you, but he got more talkative as time went on. It was nice talking to him despite everything that’s been going on outside of work—a breath of fresh air.

“How you holding up?”

“Best as I can. Thankful I have a place to stay until I can find another place to live that I can afford.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. Have you heard from Eustass?”

“No. I have him blocked on everything. Have for awhile now.”

“That’s good. You should keep it that way.” An itch formed in your head because of the way Killer responded to you. While it could just be normal advice, you felt like there was more to it.

“Hmm? Is he doing something stupid?”

“You're coping much better than he is, let’s just say.” Killer's words made your brows furrow as you became more dedicated to figuring out what he meant.

“What? What is he doing?” You hear him suck air through his teeth from behind his mask, and it has unease filling your gut.

“I’m guessing you’ve blocked him on snap too?”

“What is he doing, Killer?” Killer sighs before grabbing his phone from his pocket. You watch him tap on the screen before letting you see the photos on Eustass’s snap story. Looking down at it, you feel your mouth drop as you stare at it closely.

While you’ve been crying out your soul, that bastard was out partying. It was obvious by the way the picture showed him sucking on a random girl’s face. And another one of him with a girl on his lap. Squinting your eyes, your disturbed to see (.....) being the one sitting on his lap. Only then is when you feel a tear drop onto your hand.

“That bastard, I can’t believe him. It hasn’t even been a full month, and he’s acting like I was some fling. Did I really mean that little to him?” Standing up from the counter, you excuse yourself to the backroom so you can calm down.

“Sorry (Y/N), are you okay?”

“I guess it’s my own fault. I wanted to see the pictures, and I took the risk. It just still hurts—hurts a lot.” You laugh pathetically at your final words, trying to cheer yourself up.

“You know what? Let’s just continue working and pretend this never happened. Please?” Seeing Killer give you a nod, you let out a relieved sigh. Rubbing the tears from your eyes, you get ready to go back and do your job—just on time, too, as a familiar face walks through the door.

“Law! What a surprise! What brings you here? I thought you worked today.” Seeing your roommate’s face immediately brightened up your mood. You’d never seen him at the cafe before while you were working.

“They were Overstaffed, so they sent me home. I thought I’d come say hi.” Walking up to the counter, you see him looking at the board.

“Well, I appreciate your coming to see me. I just finished with the rush, so take your time.”

“Never been here before. Got any suggestions?”

“My favorite personally is (----), but the refresher Citrus Sunrise is a popular one. I’ve also noticed a lot of doctors like the Vanilla Cloud Cold Brew.”

“Cold brew? And what’s with all the sky names?”

“Well, the theme at the cafe is basically the multiple phases of the sky. But the cold brew is coffee that makes you see doubles. It keeps a person awake for much longer.”

“I’ll get that then.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escapes your throat when he orders.

“Should’ve bet money on it. Might have been a dollar richer.” The chuckle that left Law’s lips made a bigger smile appear on your face. You were thankful that there was a little mercy in the world.

“Ah, Law, haven’t seen you since college, it feels like.”

“Probably. I’ve been busy. How’s life going for you?”

“Good. What about you? How’s doctor life?”

“As good as it can be when the person sleeping on your couch snores.” Killer watches you whip your head around with an offended look on your face.

“I do not snore! Never have I in my life!” A content chuckle comes out from behind Killer's mask as he watches you and Law playfully bicker. It hits him that his place must be where you're staying. He supposes it makes sense. If what Eustass told him was true, then you both would be struggling with your partner's affair.

Before Law came through the cafe doors, he worried about how you were taking the breakout behind closed doors. But watching you and Law interact with one another let him know that you’ll be doing just fine, which might leave a bad taste in someone else's mouth.

~~~

“She’s still staying with Law?! That fucking-AH!” Killer watched as Eustass kicked a lone tire on the ground. It bounced away from them before hitting another tire and stopping. He ran his fingers through his red hair before hitting the wall with the side of his fist. The concrete bricks that made up the mechanic shop's wall stayed put even with how much force Eustass put into the hit.

“Eustass, you have to understand how you sound right now-”

“I know how I sound! Alright?!... I know how I sound.” His voice trails off as he stares at the ground. The burning in his heart feels wrong, as he knows he has no one to blame but himself.

He flew too close to the sun and let his ego get the best of him. Everything he could ever want was in his hands, and yet he still wasn’t satisfied, so he threw it all on the line simply for a circumstantial thrill. And the consequences came crashing all around him like an earthquake.

When you busted open that door, Eustass knew that no amount of bargaining would have you staying to talk to him that day. The heartbroken look on your face continues to haunt him every night. Not a day goes by where he didn’t feel disgust for himself after being the reason tears ran down your face.

If he could take it back just to have you in his arms again, he’d crawl out from hell itself.

“She’s also seen those party pictures from last Saturday.”

“What?! How’d she see them?!”

“A co-worker showed her. Apparently, she was at the party.” Eustass puts his face in his hands.

“Can’t even drink away my problems without having new ones show up.” Rubbing his face, Eustass lets out a sigh.

“I had it all. Had the girl, the job, all the works, and I managed to fuck it up. Now, no matter what I do, I’ll never get to wake up next to her.”

“If you even want her to look at you in a way that’s not disgust, I suggest you block (.....) if you haven’t already.” Killer watches Eustass sit down on some stacked tires before putting his head in his hands.

“I did that the day (Y/N) found out. Yet somehow, she keeps coming back into my life no matter where I go!”

“There’s always a retraining order?”

“It’s not that bad. It's just extremely aggravating.” The two men remained silent before Killer spoke.

“The best advice I can offer you is get your shit together before even making an attempt on contacting or acting civil with (Y/N).”

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.”

~~~

When you got home from work, you took a nap and a shower, then decided to go for a walk around Law’s neighborhood. You wanted to get some fresh air and check out some new places. There was a thrift store nearby that you really wanted to check out, so you grabbed your wallet/purse and put on your shoes. Yet before you walked out the door, you called out to Law.

“Hey, Law?” A few sounds of movement come from his bedroom direction before he pops out from behind the wall.

“Something wrong?”

“Oh, nothing’s wrong! I just wondered if you wanted to go thrift shopping with me. We could just hang out, ya know?”

Hearing your offer, Law originally wanted to say no. He wasn’t much of a people person, and going out willingly, which didn’t involve working or getting groceries, was usually a no-go for him. But he supposed it’d be fine. Just for today, to go out.

“Okay.” As soon as the words left his lips, he watched your smile grow and couldn’t help but smile slightly himself. Walking over to the door, he grabs his shoes and coat.

“Meow!” The sound of Bepo’s meow makes the two of you turn your heads.

“Bepo!” Law watched as you picked up his cat and started kissing him. Bepo’s loud purring had you holding him even closer.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t take you with us. Your dad and I are going out, and we can’t take you with us. I promise to get you something, though!” Giving Bepo one final kiss to his head, you carefully put him down before making movements to leave.

“Say goodbye, Law! Don’t make him sad!” Your teasing made him roll his eyes before he scratched Bepo’s ears and said goodbye as well.

~~~

“Hmm. What do you think about this? I think it’s kinda cute!”

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Yes, I do! I think it’d look cute at the apartment!”

“It’s ridiculous. We have a perfectly good honey container at home, which is the bottle it came in.”

“But it’s so cute! I’m trying to liven up the place! Give it a woman’s touch.”

“Our place is fine.” Law’s eyes widen when he realizes what he said. Looking over to see if you caught his slip-up, he is grateful when he sees you looking at another knickknack on the shelf. His heart feels like it is going to jump from his chest. Despite all the chatter the thrift store holds, all he can hear is his own heart.

“Oh my gosh, Law, look! It’s a Sora: Warrior of the Sea mug! We have to get it!” Grabbing the mug, you hold it by its handle and pretend to drink out of it.

“Okay, I found my perfect find. Let’s go.” Just as you turn around, your face to face with a woman with a slight scowl on her face.

“Jeez! You scared me! Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Yes, actually. You see, my son loves Sora. So I was gonna buy him that mug for his tenth birthday. I just needed cash to buy it.”

“But this place takes cards?-”

“So I need you to hand it over so I can give my son his birthday present.” The lady reaches out to grab the mug from your hand, but you pull it away before she can.

“Woah, hey! Sorry, lady, but it’s mine now. It was on the shelf, so that means it’s up for grabs. You could’ve asked them to hold it. Finders keepers.” Was it mean? Perhaps, but you already had your mind set on this mug, and you couldn’t go home without it.

“You're really gonna ruin a child’s birthday over some stupid cup?!”

“First of all, it’s a mug. Second, yes, I am. It’s for someone I care about. And if it’s so stupid, go buy it on Amazon or buy him that Spider-Man cup behind us.” Too busy trying to leave the store and pay, you encase your hand in Law’s and start to drag him away from the lady.

“You really think there’s a child? I don’t think so. I think she wants it for herself.” You start ranting and ignore how your hand is still holding Law’s. Yet Law was overheating with how fast his heart was beating. The warmth of of your hand against his cold one felt unfamiliar, but it was more than welcomed.

“2.99, please.” The sound of the cash register opening brought Law out of his trance. Once he was back to reality, he also noticed that your hand was no longer in his. Even though it was only in there for a second, the warmth was addicting. While his own hands were freezing, the calming feeling of your fingers intertwined with his own made a light pink spread across his face.

“Thanks, and have a good day.”

“You too! Okay, we can go now.” Motioning Law to fall you, you both head out of the thrift shop. The sun shone down on the two of you as you admired the Sora cup.

“Are you happy with your purchase?” Lay playfully comments when he sees you smile.

“Very, Now here!” Turning your body, you face Law and hold out the mug to him. Your whole face felt like it was on fire, but you pushed through it.

“What?”

“Here! I bought it for you…” With wide eyes, Law looks at you before looking down at the mug. Carefully, he grabs it from your hands and examines it. His heart pounded against his ribs and felt as if it was going to break free.

“For me?”

“Yeah. You’ve been so kind to me during this rough patch that I need to repay you. I know you're probably tired of me thanking you so much, but you really are my knight in shining armor at this time. Expect more gifts in the future, haha.” Putting your hands to your sides, you begin to fiddle with the bottom of your shirt. You watch Law look at the mug in shock before going back to his usual stoic demeanor.

“Thank you. And it’s fine.” There was a seconds silence before you spoke up.

“Well, where should we go next?”

“Going home sounds nice.” Law couldn’t help but roll his eyes at your pout.

“I promised Bepo I’d get him something! I can’t go home empty-handed!”

“I thought you said he needed a diet.”

“He does! I was gonna give him a little toy or perhaps a cat bed!”

“Cats never sleep in cat beds. They rather sleep on top of the fridge than in a bed.”

“Fine! Maybe some clothes.”

“You're not dressing up my cat.”

“I don’t know. Better keep an eye out, Law.” You nudge Law with a smile on your face. Hanging out with him made all the pain disappear, as his presence was calming and gave you hope that you’d be able to get through it all—perhaps even together.

~~~

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#one piece x reader #eustass kid x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader

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jewish-vents · 3 months

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9 years ago, I adopted a little girl. When I found out her birth parents were Jewish, I started reading up on Judaism as thoroughly as I could and talking to the local rabbi, because I didn't want to disconnect her from her heritage. I ended up converting. I found a spiritual home, I found a way of thinking that spoke to me, I found endless people who were surprisingly supportive of my being a single dad who adopted a child, and I was happy. I was often clueless, yeah, but I learned. I got to educate other people in the synagogue about what synesthesia is and why my daughter sometimes gets sensory overload from it just like I do. One little old lady, upon hearing me explain how rare the condition is, that there's thirty-six variations of it but yes, my daughter and I have the same kind, told me this was Hashem's plan. I told her I hoped I was doing this whole parenting thing right. "I'm onboard with the plan, but I'm not always good at it," were my exact words.

I am very sure I'm not good at it now. I'm trying. But how do you explain to your daughter that no, you honestly do not have reason to believe things will get better? How do you explain that her grandparents don't want to talk to us since October because they think we support genocide? When you're awake at 4am because you had a nightmare about her being a hostage or being attacked, how do you play it off as if everything is fine? I want her to be happy. I don't want her to know that I'm as scared as she is. It doesn't help that I'm a rape survivor so not only do I see my daughter in the faces of the hostages, I know what that pain is like and see myself in them, too.

The form of synesthesia my daughter and I have causes us to visualize colors when we hear sounds. The ways our brains are wired cannot be treated or fixed. Many, many Jewish prayers and songs are blue, or green, or indigo, or teal. Sometimes there are bits of gold.

Antisemitic chants and the screams of protestors and the anger in the voices of so many people I used to love and trust - that my daughter used to love and trust - are searing orange and vicious magenta and sharp red and rust colored at the edges. The fury is bright in a way that stings. And because I share her condition I get hit with it and I know she's being hit with it. I'm failing her. I'm not protecting her. Maybe I was the wrong choice of father for her. Maybe there's something more I should be doing. Maybe there's nothing more to be done. I don't know. All I know is I go to my job at the university and get a barrage of blood orange-red-rust-blood and my mind goes get out of here, run, run, run and it hurts. I do it for her. I do it so she can afford Jewish summer camp and books on Jewish history and piano lessons and everything else she wants. I don't know if it's enough to drown it all out or compensate for it. I don't think it is.

I wish we could move somewhere safe. I want my daughter to be able to go back to a life in blue. We weren't made for this much red.

#jewish vents #antisemitism #antisemitism on campus

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azurevi · 2 years

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in a crowd of thousands

aka a collection of ideas for my childhood friends to lovers leona au / aka my headcanons of the entire life of leona kingscholar. jeez

note: am i dumping all my ideas for this au here because they’re too disorganised and messy that i can’t work out anything but i don’t want to just let them go to waste? yes i am. this au has been tormenting me for weeks but my brain just can’t figure how to seamlessly plan it so chances are i’m gonna put it away. it’s not like i laid awake in bed till 4am because i was thinking about it last night anyways lololololol

i did actually write a bit for this au, which you can find at the end of all the points, but it is unedited and was done before the tamashina-mina event so it’s definitely not perfect. i would be happy if it was readable-

this idea dump is 5.8k (god bless), and the attached work is around 4k? so yea

The story starts when Leona is 8, begrudgingly attending Farena’s coming of age ceremony. Everyone is cheering and celebrating the beloved first prince’s birthday, all the while Leona sulks in the carriage, feeling the acidic jealousy rot in his stomach. He’s never received a celebration this grand in his name before, and he’s certainly never worn something some extravagant, even on his own birthday.

Just as he’s fighting his urge not to jump off of the royal carriage, he’s approached by an eager kid who, judging by appearance, can’t be older than him. they’re putting their short legs to use by chasing the carriage, a bouquet of fresh flowers secure in their grip. Leona thinks at first that it’s yet another present for Farena, but they’re calling for him instead, asking that he take the flowers. So he does, reaching all the way out of the carriage to grab the gift, earning surprised and distraught yells from the guards.

By the time he’s seated and looks back again, they’ve already disappeared in the sea of people.

Leona’s never received anything like this before. People only ever compliment and offer gifts to Farena, fuzzing over his bubbly personality and applauding the grace he presents himself with. Even back when they were faced with their mother’s death from a deadly illness, he was still praised for upholding his dignity and composure, while Leona stood at his side, mourning the death of one of the only people who truly cared about him.

So naturally Leona’s curious about the nameless admirer. And what better way to meet them than to order flowers from each and every florist’s shop in Sunset Savannah to see if they’ll show up for the delivery? It’s a long shot, one that depends entirely on the assumption that they even work at a flower shop and didn’t just buy the bouquet somewhere else. But he’s willing to bet on his luck.

So days passed, Leona’s made like twenty or so orders and his room is filled with foliage, from small pots of plants to tall wide leaves. Kifaji is honestly a bit confused by this, and a lot of guards are saying that he’s throwing an unreasonable tantrum. But never-mind them, because he eventually gets what he wants.

So on a fine early afternoon another delivery comes. This time it’s a whole cart filled with blooms of different colors. Sort of looks like a whole bush has been moved onto it. It’s so huge that he can’t see the person rolling the cart, but then he lolls his head to the side and spots those familiar eyes, the ones he’s been wondering about when he’s wide awake at midnight.

And guess what? They’re excited to see him too. So much so that they topple over and cause the entire cart to fall forward. The bush cascades onto him like a waterfall, but luckily the cart doesn’t crash him, but instead fall backward with a loud CRASH. Kifaji almost has a heart attack at that.

At Leona’s command the retainers and chamberlains leave him alone with the kid, and they get to know each other, like where the kid’s from, why they gave him the flowers etc. Turns out they wanted to thank him for the clothes donation he did for the poor kids living near Elephant’s Legacy a while back then.

Leona doesn’t have the heart to tell them that the donation wasn’t his idea, that he only said ‘whatever’ when the tailor suggested that he gave the ill-fitting outfits to kids in need.

Wanting to spend more time with his new ‘admirer’, he ditches class and sneaks them all around the palace, showing them things that have their eye’s sparkling in awe, but especially his personal achievements. They’re amazed by all of it: where people states that his interest in chess is somewhat boring (even though it’s just because he’s not as energetic and sociable as his brother), they think that it’s cool and smart. Even though he doesn’t like painting as his brother and father do, they don’t judge him for it, but instead agree that spending time in the library reading ancient books is more worthwhile.

Then they move on to talk about magic. Leona is obviously proficient, but they on the other hand actually don’t possess it. At least not yet. So they’re like ‘omg you have a unique magic already can you show me’ and that’s when Leona hesitates. He has endless ways to impress them, but his unique magic has always been something that others frown upon. It’s destructive, it’s messy, and it’s not beautiful. But you insist anyways, and young Leona decides, what the hell, screw it.

And to his surprise, they’re not a bit terrified. Quite the contrary, as you goes off on a tangent talking about how it could come in handy in so many situations.

And that’s the start of a precious friendship! Leona decides to order flowers regularly from their shop alone, and they get to know each other a lot better from there onward.

Years pass and they’re basically besties now. The young florist visits at least once a week, and the second prince is always more cheery and energised when they’re hanging out.

He tells them all about his life, how his mother had been sick for as long as he could remember and how her death took a toll on him. How Kifaji is pretty much the only chamberlain that doesn’t talk behind his back. How the others do it all the time just because Farena shines far brighter than he does.

The florist talks behind their backs as revenge, and it makes him feel just a bit better. And proud too.

It’s great knowing that someone cares and appreciates him. It makes him want to keep trying.

Similarly they let him into their life. They show them where they live, which is somewhere near the border between the bustling city and the neglected neighbourhoods, the poorer villages that fail to catch up with the Sunrise City and other major cities’ developments. Due to the country’s insistence to uphold the ‘coexistence with nature’ mission, little progress is resulted in those areas, and the disparity is beginning to look like a wide canyon.

Having lived in the palace for most of his life, this is the first time Leona learns of the parts of Sunset Savannah that the royals don’t talk about.

And as a result of the slow, almost stagnant growth of these places, infrastructures are nearly unaccessible. Even if people get sick (and they get sick quite a lot) they don’t get much medical support, at least not nearby.

One of the victims is the florist’s mother— and this is entirely the reason why they need to be working at such a young age. She’s been ill for a long time and is bed-ridden for the better part of a day, so they have to support the family. There is little medicine they can get their hands on, and even if they do get something, nothing really works.

With such a important mission on their shoulder, they’ve never really considered what they wanted to be in the future. The immediate goal was to have their mother get better, and to keep the family business going.

Looking at the ghastly lives of the people is sort of a reality check for Leona. And that’s when he begins to feel an ambition grow inside him.

He wants to change things, because no one in the palace seems to care about the people who are suffering so long as they’re out of sight.

The first time he raises the idea with his father, the king does take his words into consideration, but ultimately decides that it’s more important to preserve the country’s culture. Plus the councillors / politicians etc don’t agree with his views anyways, claiming that he’s too young to understand that ‘some sacrifices have to be made’.

Which is absurd, because he’s looking right at one of the sacrifices right now, and it’s their most important friend, who’s forced to provide for their family all on his own.

Leona doesn’t give up. He goes on learning more about the country he lives in, spends a little more time away from the glorious Sunrise City, and comes up with plans to improve Sunset Savanna. They’re not perfect, most of them are not totally feasible, but at least he’s doing something. Even Kifaji gives him his own opinions at times, unlike the other chamberlains who dislike that he’s trying to upend how the country’s always been operated.

All the while the florist gives him all the support he needs. Even when it feels like the majority of the world is against him at times, with them by his side, he feels invincible, like he can really change the world if he wants to.

Them making flower crowns for him as he works on his projects… that’s it. That’s the image.

Leona is maybe around 14, 15. His father falls ill (why is everyone sick in this story…) and there is a dire need of a new ruler to watch over the country in his hopefully momentary absence.

A king. Leona’s spent his whole life looking at one, and though he’s far from a mature adult, he tries his hand at politics anyways, hoping that he at least has a shot at becoming one in the near future. But everyone has already had their pick, and it’s none other than Farena. Farena, who rejects Leona’s ideals like everyone else.

“It’s simply too complicated”, he says, but Leona doesn’t see how hard it can be to take a new path.

But he’s still trying, at least for his dear friend. His dear friend, who’s been sticking with him through all the doubts and rejections. His dear friend, who’s promised time after time that they’ll never leave him or turn their back to him. His dear friend, who is there for some of the worst nights he has, comforting him as he winds down from nightmares. His dear friends, who always smells like a walking garden. His dear friend, whom he inevitably falls for.

At the same time, a romance is blooming somewhere else in the palace. Farena has fallen in love with Malaika, and after perhaps a few years of dating on the down low, they are ready to get married. And obviously this is good news. People see this as another indication that Farena will be a great king, seeing as he’s already had so much planned before him.

It’s like they don’t even plan to give Leona a chance.

But as always, his friend somehow sees the better side of things as they always do, telling him not to lose all hope yet.

Sometimes it feels like they’re the only person keeping him going. Would be. sad if they were to. Leave him. (clear throat) Anyways.

In the meanwhile, he decides to take advantage of the wedding. Perhaps the passionate atmosphere can assist him in his own romantic endeavours. Though it’s usually unusual and almost unorthodox for a commoner to attend a royal wedding, they get a pass since Kifaji assigns them to help with the decorations.

And it kind of does. He gets to dance with them, though the music is way too quick for him to really soak in the moment. He gets to see up close how there are stars in their eyes as they watch the bride and groom exchange their vows. Eventually, during dinner, he becomes annoyed by the other guests’ heartless questions about his life and sneaks away with his friend. It ends with a few guards hot on their tails, and in a moment of fight or flight, they dart into one of the empty rooms to hide.

Which just so happens to be the throne room. There’s no one around to berate him anyways, so Leona decides to stride towards the throne and take a seat on the gilded surface, overseeing the now vacant room. There seems to be power infused in this simple throne; the power he needs to make a change in the world, to make the ignorant listen to not just him, but also the demands of the people.

As if that’s not enough, they move to his side and jokingly calls him ‘your majesty’ and his heart does a whole somersault. Even though it’s just for a moment, he feels like he has everything he needs in his hand: the person he loves, and the throne that he so deserves.

And really, he could’ve just told them his feelings there and now, but he’s so caught up in the moment that he decides to postpone it. He’ll have the opportunity to do it in the future anyways. He’s certain that they’ll stay with him till the end of time.

When the invitation letter from NRC comes, Leona doesn’t bat an eye. There’s nothing the school can teach him that he hasn’t already mastered. Plus he’d rather stay here with his friend than go somewhere else all on his own.

Not to mention he’s busy trying to persuade those in power to agree with his vision about rebranding the country, which has been largely unsuccessful. Farena has been busy attending to other matters, and though Malaika sees where Leona’s coming from, she too is burdened by her share of responsibilities.

Time after time the officials have described his ideas as foolish, irresponsible, unreasonable, as if they still see him as an incapable child. Meanwhile it seems like they go along with everything Farena does, even if it jeopardises the livelihood of those under poverty line. All the while his friend's mother withers away. Watching the impending death looms over them places a knife in his chest. He doesn’t want to see them grief like he did when his mother left.

Leona can’t help but feel frustrated. Years of hard work hasn’t led him anywhere. As a kid he was more often frowned upon than not, but now that he was a teenager he still hasn’t gained the respect he deserves. Projects after projects are banned, to the point where the council members groan every time he shows up to their meetings. His ambition starts to dwindle. It feels like he’s trapped in the same tunnel with no hope of escaping.

Well, except when he’s with the only person who understands him. Even when they’re spending most of their time taking care of their mother now, he still derives strength from the occasional letters exchanged between them. (i loveeeee letters i love epistolary fics)

The pent-up frustration eventually leads him to do something rash: he challenges Farena for the position of Sunset Savanna’s ruler. To anyone else, it sounds like an absurd comedy. Leona— 16 and still growing— is challenging Farena, who not only is a decade older but also has more experiences than he does in managing a country.

I feel like challenges to the throne can go two ways; either they settle this with a physical fight or a peaceful voting. Obviously the former is going to hurt a lot more but I feel like it’ll be more impactful…

So say the rules require them to settle this with a fight. Which now that I think about would be more reasonable because there’s no way Leona will get enough votes anyways. So under a stormy night (for dramatic effects) the two brothers have an inevitable clash, and this isn’t just for the title of king.

It’s also the anguish Leona feels from living in Farena’s shadow all these years. His anger at the unattainable standard he has created for him. His jealousy at all the love that’s been thrown his way, all the attention their father has given him. But also the sadness from having him as a brother, from the lack of connection between them. It’s never really Farena’s fault, more like since the day Leona realized why the guards were more concerned with a paper cut on Farena’s hand than half of his room dissolved into sand, a crack formed in their relationship, and it only grew larger until it’s an impossible canyon.

The ending is written in stone. The guards and Malaika watch on, the spectators sparse and few. They’d rather not have the people know about such dispute within the royal family. The rain washes away the beads of red on the ground, but not the bruises on each of them’s flesh, and certainly not the gaping wounds in their hearts. Even as Leona is pushed to the corner, he doesn’t let himself stay down, his aching legs and sore arms be damned. And with him not admitting defeat, Farena can’t end the fight.

In the end, it is Kifaji who pulls him away before he’s injured beyond recognition, but even then he thrashes and attempts to push him away. “Let go of me”, “I’m not losing”. The words scratch his throat as he yells. Finally, Kifaji lets go of his arm, his face twisted in hurt.

“Tone it down, my prince! You’re being difficult!” It hurts him as much as it does Leona, but he goes on, “There’s no point.”

It feels like yet another inescapable twist. Kifaji, who’s always given him the silent approval. Kifaji, who treats him to sautéed mutton every time he’s faced with defeat. Kifaji, whom he trusts with his life. It turns out that he’s just like everyone else.

That day, it’s not just his relationship with Farena that shatters, but also the bond he shared with Kifaji.

Allowing no one near him, Kifaji has no choice but to visit his only friend. They rush with him back to the palace upon hearing about everything that’s happened, and feels their heart lurch uncomfortably at the sight of Leona’s battered state.

With utmost precision, they clean and bandage his wounds like how they wrap papers around bunches of flowers. The silence stretches, as if the moment it’s broken, the tears welling in their eyes will fall uncontrollably.

And so neither of them speak a word. Once they’re done with throwing away the bloodied towels, Leona lets his head loll onto their shoulder. Even in their presence it feels like his heart is hardening into a rock, one that upon being crushed, will never be recovered again. The night embraces them; two souls beaten down by life, robbed of their hopes and dreams.

Leona will never admit it, but that night, he holds their hand like it’s his only lifeline.

In the end, the thing that stomps on his aspirations is but a little child.

Cheka is what Malaika and Farena decide to call him. The young, adorable son of the king (in all but name anyways), who is also a promise that Leona shall never get the throne.

It’s… devastating. His steely, cold eyes are fixed unblinkingly on the snoring infant in his arms. Cheka had been crying non-stop in the middle of the night, craving his mother’s embrace, but Malaika is caught up in a meeting. As it turns out, funnily enough, he only goes quiet when he’s shoved into Leona’s arms.

Leona wills himself to feel hatred, to feel spite, but nothing comes out but for a single tear that rolls down his face. The only thing eating him up inside is pity for himself.

He feels lost. For the longest time he’s felt like he’s playing on the losing team, like the game’s rigged, but to think that the definite indication of his defeat is a young child?

The walls of the palace close in on him. Any second now they’ll come crashing down. Would anyone notice if he’s buried under debris? Probably not. The beloathed second prince, the disappointment in everyone’s eyes.

Is there any point in trying?

As hopelessness engulfs him, his only hope is to call for the only person left in his life who would still back him up. After all, they’ve promised time after time that they wouldn’t give up on them both. Hours tick by; he paces in his room, feeling every hair on his skin. There seems to be a predator in the corner of his room, looming over him, waiting to catch him in a moment of weakness.

He waits, and waits some more. When the guard returns empty-handed, he goes there by himself.

When was the last time they met? Right. Last month, when Leona asked the royal healer to gauge the cause of their mother’s illness. Dread overcomes him as he nears the shabby shop. Paired with the crumbling depression he’s been feeling the whole day, he won’t be surprised if the ground under him caves in swallows him whole.

It’s empty. The wooden sign says ‘closed’. There’s no light from the second floor, where they live. The flowers in front of the shop has withered. It looks vacant, deserted. Coincidentally, that’s also how Leona feels.

They’re just … gone. No one has idea where they’ve gone to; all of their neighbours claim that they just disappeared one day, like they were taken by the wind. Leona sends out anyone who’s not caught up in caring for the newborn prince to look for them, but to no avail. He has no idea what has happened to them, or whether they’re even still— alive.

The thought makes him sick to the stomach.

He waits for days. Weeks. Then he realises that he’s truly alone. For the first time in his life, there’s no one left in his life who know him.

Call it impulse, call it his mind playing tricks. He doesn’t have it in him to think about reason anyways. All he knows is that the longer he stays in this cage of a palace, he’ll suffocate.

A fortnight later, he digs out the crumbled, forgotten invitation letter from his drawer, and leaves for the college far away from his homeland.

Three or four years of school. That’s quite enough to make someone become a bitter, cynical person. That’s where Leona finds himself anyways, lazing his time away at NRC. He doesn’t technically like it here— too many people, too noisy— but it’s better than being stuck in the palace, forced to come face to face with the fact that he’s born with the short end of the stick.

Classes are largely meaningless. He doesn’t have to listen to a single lecture to get full marks in tests and exams. Leading his dorm and the Magift club doesn’t give him as much satisfaction as he initially expected. Most days it feels meaningless to do anything, but it doesn’t kill him. Whatever sadness or problems that come his way can be solved by a nap. If they persist, then two naps. Eventuality they will leave him alone; there isn’t much point in trying anyways.

Why the botanical garden? Well, it’s just a personal choice of his. Maybe it also has something to do with the fact that the mix of flowers and grass reminds him of a softer, better time. Not that he will ever admit it. If anyone asks him why he knows so much about botany, floriculture and all that, he can just brush it off by saying that he’s spent too much time in the garden.

He doesn’t really miss anything. Or anyone. This life he’s leading is not ideal, but, again, it’s just enough to get by.

At least he’s not totally lonely. There’s always someone bothering him, like Ruggie right now, who’s berating him for being late for the preparation of the entrance ceremony.

The corridor is packed with new, curious faces. Most of them seem to recognize the lion beastman and stay out of his way smartly. As he lazily trails behind Ruggie, he hears a bit of commotion coming from just around the corner. Gasps and cusses, and also muttered apologies.

It’s probably nothing, he thinks to himself as he turns— only to come face to face with a stack of books higher than him. It looms over him, threatening to fall directly on his head.

(is this… deja vu?)

Moments before he can feel the impact, Ruggie yells, “Laugh with me!” and manages to balance whoever’s holding the books. “Come on, Leona! We’re already late!”

As he clicks his tongue in annoyance and walks past the faceless student, he hears them mutter a thanks under their breath. It sounds- awfully familiar. Familiar enough to make him swivel around sharply, gaze drilling holes in their back.

“Leona!”

Damn it. He shakes the thought away and follows the hyena instead.

The little encounter gets forgotten in the back of his mind as he prepares to welcome a new group of dorm members. The newbies stand in a crooked queue, turning around and talking to the strangers around them. Some of them are adjusting their robes, the others fidgeting nervously. Whispers fly, most of them speculations of whichever dorm the speakers are about to be sorted in.

It doesn’t surprise him that most his new dorm members look to be physically advantaged. He wouldn��t want it other way; it helps raise his chances of victory in the next Magift tournament.

As he’s about to drift off into dreamland, he hears the next name being called. A name that he hasn’t spoken in years, a name that he’s been trying to bury in his memories.

There’s no mishearing it— his eyes are wide open now, landing on the hooded figure in front of the mirror. Their face is obscured, but then they give their own name to the mirror, and that’s when Leona knows for sure that’s it’s them.

He couldn’t put to words what was happening in his head. Happiness? Surprise? Confusion? An amalgamation of emotions blur within him. He holds his breath, waiting for the announcement of the dorm. What’s it gonna be? No, how even are they here? Have they somehow figured out magic? Where have they even been?

“The shape of thy soul belongs to… Savanaclaw."

Well, he'll be damned.

Immediately after hearing that, their head shoots up, eyes landing on the tall and muscled group of students. For some reasons he cannot fathom, he turns his face to the side, concealing himself. Is it because he's unready to confront a face from the past? Is it because he's hung up on the fact that they left him without a word?

No, it feels more like shame. He isn't sure if he wants to be seen by them in this state. Not yet.

He remains quiet during the trip back to the dorm. Ruggie shoots him a confused glance as he's supposed to give a short speech to welcome the first-year students, but he lets it slide.

Even as he's standing in the very front of the queue, he can make out that distinct flowery scent if he tries. Years of memories come crashing on him, so sudden that he finds himself at a loss of words as he leaves Ruggie to assign the rooms.

He knows there's no point in hiding when he's literally the dorm leader, but the thoughts within him are too much of a whirlwind. Even when he's time after time fantasized about meeting them again, this feels way too sudden. He needs time to untangle his feelings. Maybe then he'll have the guts to face them.

This plan goes down the drain in the end. He hates feeling like a coward, but what he hates even more is that they are literally in the same building as him, and he's knocking himself away. Propelled by nothing but a racing heart, he gets out of bed and down the hallways, coming to a stop in front of a room that he hopes is correct.

He knocks.

Seconds pass. No one seems to be answering. Just as he's about to give up and return to his room, the door is swung open, and in the doorway stands the person that's been weaving in and out of his dreams.

Time has been good to them. Their features have become more defined, and they are holding themselves up with more confidence now. Leona freezes right there like an awkward statue, mouth agape. Words fail him. What is he supposed to say anyways, except that he's missed them?

After a beat, recognition dawns on their face. The beam on their lips is so beautiful it could light up the whole building. They all but throw themselves at them, and Leona stumbles backward from the strength.

What is he to do but to wrap his ams around them as well? It feels like he's back in the palace again, only this time without any sourness coating his tongue.

So they finally get to talk about everything that's happened in the past years. It turns out that one night their mother got dangerously close to the edge of death, and in a moment of bone-chilling fear, they woke up the neighbourhood doctor for help. As usual, he couldn't do anything, but at the sight of their distraught tears, he advised that the two of them go away to this other country, where developments in technology and medicine were more advanced. With no time to waste, he helped them sneak onto the last late night ride out of Sunset Savanna and to the foreign land.

It turned out that there was indeed a possible cure for their mother, but the follow-up treatment was a long, taxing journey. They found a place to stay in, and it took six months for her situation to finally stabalize. By the time they had the time and money to return, Leona was already long gone. All they knew was that he'd gone to a prestigious school for magic users.

With the responsibility to support the family and continue the family business off their back, they could do whatever they want. And, as can be seen, they chose to pick up a few books from the local library and teach themselves magic, all so that they could meet Leona again.

At this, he is once again rendered speechless. All this time they've been giving their all just to get to him, and what has he been doing? Letting time slip through his fingers like sand? Suddenly he feels very, very small standing in front of them.

But as always, they don't push him away even after all this. Because they know the Leona who's buried under all these layesr: the Leona who's unafraid to speak up for his beliefs, the Leona who looks out for those around him, the Leona who never gives up no matter what. They're sure that he can pick himself up again.

And perhaps, with their hand securely in his once more, he can really try again.

I feel that it's a bit obvious that the ending is a bit rushed, even though it's supposed to be the 'to lovers' part in the 'childhood friends to lovers' equation. The truth is that my ideas only reached as far as the point where Leona goes to NRC, so the rest I just came up with on the spot. Not to mention this is just roughly how I imagine the au would go, so there may be plot holes. That being said, here are some other ways the ending could go:

They don't get back together right away, but instead they slowly approach each other again, tip-toeing around each other the whole time. Perhaps they meet when his friend is visiting the botanical garden, because of course they would. Leona is distancing himself a bit cause he doesn't want them to see how he's turned out. But they eventually get familiar with each other again.

Similarly they don't confront each other immediately, but this time Leona's overblot does happen and they show up to stop it. I feel like they'd be disappointed at his ourburst and him using underhanded methods to secure victory, but give them a few scenes and they'll work it out together and Leona will see his faults.

And now onto a little reflection about this au of mine... it's such a precious brainchild of mine I want to cradle it in my arms until it eventually grows up to be an actual fic. But regretfully I have neither the time nor energy to plot everything out, only scattered ideas as you can see. There are quite a lot of things I want to develop in the story:

obviously the relationship between leona and his childhood friend

relationship between leona and kifaji

leona and farena

leona and his parents

leona's backstory, specifically how he became who he is today

the theme of trying again and again

the theme of mutual support in a relationship

Juggling all of these and attempting to expand them to each their full potential have been a challenge. There are also other things that stand in the way, such as how to portray Leona in a young age. Personally I have almost zero recollection of my childhood so I can't help but struggle with balancing the helplessness he feels and the naive hope every child possesses.

But all of those aside, at least I'm putting this au out in the world. Maybe one day I'll get around to making it a real thing :) I hope y'all have enjoyed this mess of an au as much as I do!

If you're interested in the stuff that I came up with for this au weeks ago, it is linked below. JUST A HEADS UP: it's unedited and written before the recent event, so there could be inaccuracies. I also don't like how I've made Leona too bitter for a 8 year old. But feel free to read it and give me a few feedback!

google docs

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #sie writes #leona x reader

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gumnut-logic · 4 months

Text

Lego Volcano (Part 4)

Alexander Sweetapple series | Lego Volcano - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Here is the next bit. I apologise for the chaos that is Alex's brain. Unfortunately, I think he inherited it from me.

This one was sparked by @idontknowreallywhy, @sofasurf, @womble1 and @sailing-on-a-puddle and other wonderful Thunderfam peeps.

Many thanks to the amazing @onereyofstarlight who read through this one and helped me tweak things. Sorry I am so mean to da bois.

This fic is m/m romance fluff with a dash of h/c and sickfic. If that isn't your thing, this isn't your fic.

This is definitely turning out to be bigger than expected, now at 6500+ words with plenty more to go.

I hope you enjoy it.

-o-o-o-

Alex was awake.

Since it was barely 4am, this was annoying.

Beside him, the slightly too warm mass of Virgil was breathing noisily but slightly better than he had been earlier.

Gordon was right. This bug, whatever it was, had hit Virgil hard. The engineer, however, routinely tried to rise above it, attempt his usual activities and then fall on his face.

It was irrational and Alex could clearly see why their grandmother was so often exasperated with them if this was the norm.

Over the last three days, Alex had made it his sole purpose to keep Virgil distracted and cared for as much as possible.

He may have resorted to using their grandmother as a threat at least once. Mostly because of his own exasperation.

“Virgil, you’re sick. Slow down.”

“Two needs her checks before she can go out again.” The man was throwing on clothes and while Alex was definitely admiring the scenery, five minutes earlier Virgil had been sleeping.

But even through the soundproofing of the villa, he was able to hear his Thunderbird return from its latest mission.

Virgil hated being left behind. That much was so obvious.

“I’m sure Gordon is quite capa-“

“Gordon?” It was said with both offence and love at the same time. He shoved on his jeans.

“Brains then.” Alex had met Brains once and…wow, he lived up to his name. How had Alex ever had a chance with a genius engineer like that on the Island? But it was clear Virgil and Hiram were only very good friends.

The Island was full of geniuses and just slightly terrifying.

But at least the mention of Brains had Virgil pausing.

Alex took the opportunity and slid off the bed. He came up behind his frustrating hero and wrapped his arms around him. “C’mon, love, stay with me and rest.”

“You could come down to the hangars with me.”

“And be castrated when your grandmother discovers I colluded with you?”

That did it. Virgil’s shoulders dropped and he relaxed just a little back into Alex’s embrace.

Alex planted a kiss just below his ear. “Brains can do the maintenance. Stay here with me.”

Ultimately, he had been successful in keeping Virgil out of the hangars, but he could clearly see why Gordon had thought it necessary to haul in Alex.

Sometimes the hero needed reining in.

Alex brushed a kiss into sleeping Virgil’s hair and quietly slipped out of bed.

If he was honest, he wasn’t used to getting this much sleep himself, so being unable to sleep at 4am was no surprise.

Erica would laugh at him, so much.

She certainly had enough words to say about Alex working from Tracy Island yesterday. Just because he felt bad for leaving Erica on the lurch to go save his boyfriend from himself was apparently not enough excuse to log into his workplace when said boyfriend was ill.

Erica had been very emphatic about that. To the point of kicking him off the server, claiming he didn’t trust her with their work, and to damn well go look after Virgil.

Virgil, at that point, was absolutely fine apart from the convulsions of laughter he was struggling with beside Alex on the couch.

Of course, laughter led to a coughing fit, so Alex did end up signing out rather quickly. But despite grabbing water for the man he loved, said man still managed to rib him about it for the next hour.

So Alex had a work ethic. Virgil certainly couldn’t talk.

Alex sighed just a little as he threw on Virgil’s spare dressing gown.

Every time he landed on Tracy Island, Alex ended up stealing clothes. Usually Virgil’s, but there had been some obvious additions to Virgil’s wardrobe that Alex doubted had ever fit the well-muscled and shorter man.

It was just another thing to love about him.

And a possible reason why Alex hadn’t moved anything here but the basics.

He slipped out of Virgil’s rooms with the intention of maybe hiding for a little in the guest quarters that were his officially allocated space when on the Island. He did spend a lot of time in Virgil’s rooms, however, and was seeing less and less of being a guest.

It was still dark, starlight shining through the rafters of the residential block. He padded down the hallway only to encounter the glass that led out onto the residential balcony. The doors were closed, but the vista was enough to take his breath away.

Starlight gave the Island shape and glittered on the ripples in the lagoon. Despite having visited here multiple times, Tracy Island still held magic for him.

His mum wasn’t wrong when she said he had looked for this island so many times.

Considering who lived here…

He swallowed, as always, completely blown away that Virgil loved him and the events of the last couple of years had even happened.

He shook himself. It was too early in the morning to be thinking straight. Or maybe he had had too much sleep over the last three days. That was probably it. His brain was in shock.

Erica cracked up laughing in the back of his head.

Yep, losing it.

He turned away from the vista and headed down the stairs to the comms room. At least there he wasn’t going to disturb anyone.

The villa was a maze that he was slowly becoming familiar with. He was pretty sure he wasn’t aware of all of it. There were gaps in the structure, places he couldn’t account for in his growing mental map. But this was Tracy Island and it needed its little mysteries.

He slipped into the comms room on bare feet and found the glass doors open with the tropical breeze wafting through.

Wow, the scents, the sounds, bloody amazing place.

He eyed the mound that outlined Lego Tracy Island, still in the process of being rebuilt and made sure to give it a wide berth.

“Alex?”

He jumped.

How had he not seen Mr…Scott sitting there? The man was at his desk, the hologram in front of him lighting up his face like someone about to tell a horror story around a campfire.

A blue campfire…must be odd chemicals in the wood…but-

Focus.

“Mr Tracy?”

“What are you doing up? Is Virgil okay?” His eyes caught that blue holographic light and lasered it at Alex as he moved to get up.

Alex held up his hands and hurried over. “No, he’s fine. He’s sleeping.”

Scott sat back in his chair. “That’s good to hear.”

Alex let his hands drop, ever so aware of those eyes gauging everything about him. Mr…Scott had been so kind to him since Virgil declared his intentions.

Intentions.

Virgil’s intentions…he wanted to bounce on the spot.

Scott cleared his throat and Alex jumped.

Just a little.

God, he was hopeless.

“He listens to you.” There was something in those eyes. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“He’s sick. Of course, I came.”

Mr…Scott looked away, back to whatever he was working on. “Thank you, anyway.”

It was a dismissal. Alex frowned. “What are you doing up this early?”

“Things to do.” And Mr Tracy was doing something. Numbers flashed across the hologram as he shunted something aside. He looked up at Alex again. “You?”

“Uh, just stretching my legs.” Those eyes weren’t tearing into his chest, ripping out his soul, and dissecting it for answers. No, not at all.

The eye of Sauron had nothing on this.

But then blue was on the high energy end of the spectrum and Scott did have two eyes.

Did that mean Sauron had poor depth perception?

Probably how two hobbits made it into Mordor without him noticing.

One eyed and all.

“Alex?”

Those eyes wanted answers.

“Uh, yeah, you have a great view.” He gestured towards the balcony.

Those eyes followed his gesture.

“We do.” Mr…Scott stood up slowly and walked towards Alex, momentarily disappearing into shadow as he moved away from the hologram, only to appear beside Alex at the doors to the balcony.

Alex did his best not to bolt entirely.

He muted it down to a small step sideways.

He was being stupid and he knew it. Scott was Virgil’s brother. Scott held all the values Virgil held. Scott could be a goofball; Alex had seen him with his brothers many times now. The man was commanding kindness itself.

But Scott was Mr Tracy. Even now when Mr Jeff Tracy had returned and made his space in the family. Scott was THE Mr Tracy. He was someone Alex had admired and looked up to for a good percentage of his life. The man’s values and charisma infected all of those around him. He had power in a mere glance.

Eyes of bloody Sauron.

And maybe Erica was right when she said Alex shouldn’t make any decisions between one and five in the morning.

A heavy, warm hand landed on Alex’s shoulder and he tried not to flinch.

“I meant it, Alex. I’m very grateful you are here for Virgil.”

“Um, yeah, me, too.” Get it together, Alex, for goodness sake.

Mr Scott turned to look towards the sky and all the stars. So many stars with the lack of light pollution. Bloody amazing.

Magical even.

“I worried about him, you know. All of them really. We live like monks out here. Day in, day out, saving so many lives, but not living our own.”

What?

Mr Scott let out a breath. “It is so easy to get caught in doing what is right…for everyone else.” He turned to look at Alex and his eyes glistened in the starlight. “I’m so glad he found you.”

Umm…

He looked away again. “Virgil has been so happy these past months. You’ve brought so much joy into this house.”

Uh…

The hand on his shoulder gripped tight as those eyes turned back to Alex and pinned him where he stood. “So, when I say thank you, I mean it.”

Alex stared at him. This was a side of Mr Scott he had not seen. He knew he cared for his family pretty damned intensely. He’d heard International Rescue working over comms those few times he had been on Tracy Island during an incident.

Incidents happened a lot. The Tracys worked themselves to the bone.

Maybe Scott was just tired. Alex had seen Virgil tired enough. The man had fallen into his arms more than once with exhaustion, curling up in Alex’s bed, sometimes fully dressed.

Alex could understand the obsession with work. Especially since the Tracys’ work involved lives. So many lives. It was one of the reasons why he had come without Gordon asking. Virgil was as obsessed as any of them and if Alex thought too hard it led in the direction of Virgil one day sacrificing his life for a stranger and Alex’s brain just did not want to go there.

But Mr Scott…

“Are you okay?” It fell out of his mouth without thought.

The hand on his shoulder disappeared and Mr Tracy straightened. “I’m fine, Alex.” He stared out towards the caldera every bit the starlit hero.

But his eyes were still glistening.

Alex reached out and touched his arm. Heat seeped through the thin fabric of Scott’s shirt.

Far too much heat.

“Mr Tracy?!”

Those eyes turned to him again, emotion in their depths. “Promise me you’ll look after him.”

“I-“ But Alex was grabbing the man as he suddenly wavered on his feet.

Heat radiated off him. What the-? “Mr Tracy?!”

“I’m f-ine.” But it was little more than breath as Scott’s focus faltered.

And those gloriously powerful eyes rolled up in his head.

Alex struggled to catch him as he fell.

His knees hit the wooden floor hard and his foot collided with something that clinked and broke into pieces.

A vague neuron in Alex’s head acknowledged the objects scattering around and jabbing him were probably Lego, but Scott’s head was lolling onto his shoulder as his limbs splayed everywhere, and-

“Mr Tracy?! Scott?!”

No response.

Those eyes remained shut.

“John!” He yelled at the top of his voice, knowing somewhere someone would hear him. “Thunderbird Five!”

“HELP!!”

-o-o-o-

TBC

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #scott tracy #virgil tracy #alexander sweetapple #virgil tracy/alexander sweetapple #romance #big brothers #sickfic #nuttyfic

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lauriemarch · 3 months

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the little girl in my head wears a side ponytail like deb from napoleon dynamite because she genuinely thinks it looks good. she has a round face just like me, the little girl thinks. and she is pretty, so i must be pretty.

the little girl in my head lies to her fourth grade class about her parents getting a divorce and cries at every 9/11 presentation because her dad took a flight only a week before that. the little girl in my head does not believe she has anything true to offer to the world, so she makes up stories to hide her plainness.

the little girl in my head wears pink plaid shorts and reads in the library at lunch. the little girl in my head looks at a tweet i saw today that read "i'm so glad my pain didn't make me cruel" and she turns to face me. why did you let your suffering turn you savage? she asks. it is not judgemental. just curious. the little girl in my head is so curious. she does not know that my barbaric life is for her, i bear my teeth and hiss-spit my venom to protect her and give her reason and meaning. everything is a defense mechanism.

the little girl in my head is too afraid to try the monkey bars because she is embarrassed to be out of breath in front of the other kids and the 22 year old body i occupy is too afraid to be courageous in anything because she is embarrassed to be wrong. the little girl in my head watches me skip out on the first time i could actually call something heat and frowns, turning to her books, and catalogs all the ways we have prepared for this moment. a shiver runs through your spine, she pushes her purple glasses up on the bridge of her nose. you blush. you dream of nothing but them. how did you miss the signs?

the little girl in my head wears an itchy black and white dress to read a few verses from the Bible on the stage at Christmas service. she skips around in patent leather shoes and screams "FORGOTTEN, FORGOTTEN, FORGOTTEN, FORGOTTEN!" in circles while i claw at the earth around me, my years of life laying in heaps and puddles, trying to justify every action i have taken to be here. "EVIL, VILE, UGLY, LAZY, MEAN, ANGRY, STUPID, DISAPPOINTING!" she's crying and she does not understand why. i am awake at 4am and i feel the weight of years i never got to live pressing down like an impossible force of gravity. "UNLOVED, UNWANTED, UNNECESSARY!" she dreams of a future where she is picked first, called best friend, seen as the love of someone's life. i sit in my car and wrack the frame with sobs that are so violent i have to throw up on the side of the road.

i have let down the little girl in my head. if she met me, she would be afraid. chalk the distant ghost of a woman down to a cautionary tale and open another library book, careful not to spill her capri sun on the worn-down pages. i do not know how to change i whisper through the pages if i could i would and i would do it all for you i am sorry that i have killed and maimed for you next time you grow up do it gently please please please please please

#i am not doing well #but the only way out is through #what does this mean you ask #i don't know i respond #dark academia #light academia #studyblr #booklr #studying #light acadamia aesthetic #study notes #book blog #little women #poetry #words #spilled ink #spilled writing

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searsage · 3 months

Text

-PDA/message transmission: Time: 0437-06/22/*****-

Robin: SAM! SAAAAM HELLO? ARE YOU AWAKE?

Sam: Robin..? Why in the devine hell are you texting me this late?!

Robin: Oh good you're awake!

Sam: Now I'm awake, it's 4am...did something happen?

Robin: What? Happen... Like what?

Sam: I don't know anything, Something bad..? Throw me a bone!

Robin: Ohhhh! No...but YES!

Sam:...What? Robin you're not making sense..

Robin: Stop talking so loud he's sleeping, you know they hardly do that..?

Sam: I'm not talking loud, I'm texting you god damn it! I'd ask if those architects switched your brain out for a chipmunk's but you've always texted like you were half in the barrel of helium poisoning...

Robin: What!? Rude!

Sam: Why are you texting me in the middle of the night Robin!?

Robin: Oh! Right-right! So..like he's bigger than I thought... like I only reach his chest.

Sam: Is that bad..? Should I be worried..?

Robin: Oh..well no, it's ok I guess. He wants to take me on a tour of the planet, it's not the worst idea, it's kind of gorgeous here, even if it's mostly water.

Sam: That sounds fun...so why are you on the phone at 3 am..?

Robin: Right! I'm getting there, stop rushing me! I asked him about the whole intimacy inquiry in his ad, he claims it wasn't necessary to be compensated for my time.

Sam: That's GREAT! It would have been a deal breaker really, at least you know he's a freak but not that type of freak.

Robin: Haha..yeah...but like..

Sam: Like what..?

Robin: He's not so bad, kind of stuck up and awkward but knowledgeable when it comes to the wildlife here.

Sam: Uh-huh..well just make sure he doesn't try any funny business, you're there to keep him company and aid in his research so..he better not get any ideas.

Robin: Trust me he doesn't seem interested really, far too enthralled by the alkaline levels in the water!

Sam: Oh he's that type of nerd..

Robin: Yeah.

Sam: Jeez i almost feel bad setting this up, seems like you're going to spend the next month licking stones.

Robin: Hey! That's a valid way of testing sodium levels

Sam: Yeah. For a moose!

Robin: You're...not wrong. Ok i'm going to go to bed now

Sam: Ok keep me posted, let me know if i need to fly there and kick his shrimpy architect ass

Robin: Oh his tail! It wiggles sometimes! Usually when he's startled or excited! It's really cute if I'm going to be honest here..

Sam: Shut up, I need some sleep!

Robin: I'm texting remember!

Sam: Oh for the love of god!

Robin: Your words not mine!

Sam: Just be careful and get some sleep.

Robin: Okay..and Sam..?

Sam: Yeah?

Robin: Thanks for setting this whole thing up, I was really in a pinch, it means a lot..."

Sam: Sure Robin, anything for my little sis. Love you too, good night"

Robin: Night..

-PDA/message transmission: Time: 0313-06/27/*****-

Robin: SAM!!! SAAAAM GOD DAMN IT BE AWAKE NOW!!!

Sam:WHAT what?! Where are you!? Are you okay?!

Robin: Saaaaaaam!

Sam: Are you in serious danger or something?!

Robin:Huh? Oh! no, I'm fine...physically...

Sam: Then why the hell are you spamming my phone at 3 am in the morning Robin?! You almost gave me a heart attack!

Robin: Oh sorry.. I just needed to talk..

Sam: Okay, about what? is everything ok..?

Robin: No, Not really..

Sam: What happened? Was it something with Alan? Was he being a creep?! Damn it! Do you need me to pick you up? Because I will! Just say the word.

Robin: Uh...no, it's...nothing like that...really.

Sam: Then throw me a bone here Robin! You've been acting strange as hell tonight...I'm worried..

Robin: I...I we..uhh...I slept with him...

Sam: You WHAT?!

#Sbz #The arrangement au #Tfw your sister calls you in the middle of the night #When you accept a shady contract to by some suger daddy alien with a terminal illness with his fortune on the line #al an x robin #al an #robin ayou #Fumbling Romance #His that said he's dying soon and wanted a companion to help him wrap up his life work..and maybe get laid #BUT that soon is in architect time frame..ten millinias #Sam being done with this shit #Robin being the typical walking timebomb #Al-an being comically easy.and soft

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luvdzu · 2 years

Text

🕗 ALICE : 4-5AM | NCT 127 24hr RELAY CAM

“Good morning.” Alice grumbles under her breath, half awake, half asleep, staring right in front of the camera. Snuggling in her gray hoodie, rubbing her eyes awake.

[a night owl waking up early]

“It’s 4am- actually it’s 3:56am, I woke up earlier so I don’t have to struggle when I start… Oh well.” Shuffling in her bed, Alice places the camera on the drawer which doubles as a wall on the other half of her bed.

“Young-ie is still asleep so I won’t leave here for a while...” Alice stays silent, as her eyes slowly close as she falls asleep, still sitting down on her bed.

A few minutes after Alice blinks, as her lips turn into a small pout of frustration. “I need to go to the washroom.”

[the bladder wins against alice]

Behind the camera, Alice tiptoes and turns on the lamp on her side, which causes Doyoung to shuffle on his side of the bed. “Just turn on the light, I’ll cover my eyes instead.”

[considerate roommate doyoung~]

“Okay, just go back to sleep okay?” Alice whispers before the sound of the door opening was heard.

“I’m back~ I was fast, but it’s still so early so I’ll whisper instead since Doie is sleeping.” Alice stands up, fixing her bed before taking out the books on the wall behind the camera.

“If you’re curious what I do early in the morning, it’s studying. I have an 8am class and I study in the morning since it’s the only time I have if I don't have practice so I wake up early.”

[diligent student and hard working idol alice]

Alice goes quiet as she continues scanning her notes, reading in advance and checking given case digests and lesson packets from the professor.

[a laptop appeared out of nowhere]

Typing her notes in her laptop, before writing notes down in a separate notebook, Alice continues her day studying and reading for the next thirty minutes.

“This is a natural occurrence, I do this most of the days, this is even better because sometimes when we have practice or a shoot I have to read in a moving vehicle which sucks.” Alice smiles as she shows the time on her phone,

“It’s already 5am, Doyoung woke up and got me cereal to eat. He’s making breakfast I think, and I will be finishing up my readings, doing a bit of homework and reviewing my answers before going to take a bath.”

[alice is starting off with a busy yet productive day]

Alice faces the camera wearing a pink crop top and black jeans, “I am ready for my class! I’m in the kitchen with Doie~ Do you want to say anything to the camera?” Alice asks Doyoung from behind who is preparing her lunchbox. Tilting her head to the side Alice nods her head before placing the camera in front of her.

[doyoung is busy cooking breakfast]

“Doie is busy and he can’t say anything at the moment, another reason is that Doie doesn’t have proper clothes on.” Alice whispers before shouting as Doyoung’s hand appears in the frame.

[alice is teasing her friend early in the morning]

“I woke up and made you food and this is how you repay me?” Doyoung can be heard from behind the camera as he nags at Alice.

[alice is scolded by her roommate doie]

Alice pouts before takes a bite of the food in her bowl nodding along while Doyoung talks behind the camera. “Go ahead and eat your food, or else you’ll be late, have you prepared everything already?”

[this seems like a familiar scene in the 127 dorms, alice and doyoung eating breakfast together]

Alice nods as she takes another bite of her kimchi fried rice that Doyoung prepared for her. “I already have my bag sitting on top of my drawer, why?”

Looking up, Alice's eyes follow Doyoung as he walks up to their room to get the bag. “Oooh, you're so cool today Doie, what is this? Why are you being like this?”

“What’s weird is you acting like this, as if I don’t do this everyday.” Doyoung scoffs at the female before handing her bag.

[alice never ceases to tease doyoung when she gets the chance, their friendship is questionable…]

“I’m just kidding you, thank you!~ Just put it on the side so I can get it before I leave.”

“Aren’t you running late?” Alice faces the camera before checking her phone seeing that her time is almost running out.

“I’m not, but I do need to end the video quickly. I should finish already.” Alice finishes the remainder of her breakfast before cleaning up the table and washing the dishes she used, and Doyoung’s.

Facing the camera after drying her hands, Alice picks up the camera as she walks towards her bag, “My time is up!~ I will go to my class now, today I’m using public transportation! It would be nice if we're coming together but it’s not my time anymore and I still have to arrive on time. Bye now!~”

[alice went to practice after her classes, do well in class czennies!~]

#nct 24th member #nct female oc #nct female member #nct female addition #nct 127 female addition #nct 127 female oc #nct 127 10th member #nct 127 female member #female kpop addition #female kpop oc #kpop female addition #kpop female oc #kpop female member #female kpop member

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iamlittlelostsoul · 1 year

Text

First Love

Hello my lovelies~!! It's 4am here and I can't sleep yet I'm feeling a lil romantic today (cries in single) no angst (wohooo!) and a lil bonus of some smut<3

Malleus is such a bbg CHANGE MY MIND I DARE YOU<3

first time writing smut so hope you all liked it ≧◉◡◉≦

Summary: Falling for her was the happiest I've ever been. Stay by me hold me tight and kiss me.

warning/s: NSFW. smut.

MalleYuu || Malleus x OC(Yurika)

if you're curious of my oc here's her profile! -> Yuri

(and if you'd like you can listen to this while reading it <3)

youtube

______________________________________________________________

Malleus pov

It was a hot summer evening when we first met.

By the garden at the abandoned dorm called Ramshackle a place that is almost in ruins but still has its lovely charms.

It was where I spend my evening or midnight strolls because of the quiet and perfect atmosphere.

Never did I expect that this place that looks almost like some ancient ruins have 2 inhabitants, If I'd not missed the opening ceremony maybe I might have known?

So like I was saying I was on my stroll when a cat or raccoon (?) looking monster kicks open the door and started throwing a tantrum like a small human child about how is he not getting any cans of tuna when he is such a great and mighty creature soon to be a great mage.

A girl with short, silvery purplish curls came following the monster, grabbed her shoe, and threw it at the little thing before it could even think of running and escaping her wrath.

It was quite a sight I couldn't help but snort.

She halts scolding the little monster and stares up at me.

It was quite weird I felt my chest tighten and my heart skip a beat as her curious dark gray eyes bore at mine.

I could clearly remember how our first conversation went that time.

"Oh-..hey! Sorry you had to see this." she says as she bows politely.

"it's no problem child of man" I said as I take a few steps towards them.

The talking cat monster took this chance to flee which the girl responded to with a groan of frustration.

"I'm Yurika. Yurika Evermore by the way! Call me Yuri" she says as she switches back her attention to me with a smile. It picked my curiosity that she doesn't seem to fear me does she perhaps not know me? I thought that time.

Which turned out to be correct as she waited for me to introduce that time.

Not wanting her attitude to change once finding out who I really am I told her to call me whatever she wanted.

It's better later that she finds out who I am.

She has a very charming personality I thought as I left her that night and lay on my bed fully awake a smile graces on my lips which I only found out when Lilia pointed it out as I came back though I gave him no details on why perhaps I am smiling.

It was not long till we met again. And she was as bubbly as our first meeting, although she does have a slightly sarcastic and sassy attitude it's no surprise she managed to befriend so many such as myself.

Every time we met my heart always skips a beat and would sometimes pound loudly.

Even when she finally discovers who I am she still treats me like she does to her friends and still calls me "Tsunotaro" which somehow eased my heart I got a little too fond of her calling me Tsunotaro.

She taught me so many things and somehow managed to help me get a little closer to the other students.

'I like her.' I thought. 'I really like her very much.' I thought once again as I stroll Ramshackle's garden in the middle of the night. The place is slowly becoming more homey and lively as flowers bloomed along the patches and of course, the garden while to dorm is slowly getting redecorated using the allowance she gets from the headmaster, it was quite a surprise she managed to bargain for an allowance knowing how stubborn the crow man was.

We gradually grew closer and closer. And I was never not thankful for my lucky star for sending this girl to NRC and allowing her to meet me. And become my first friend....or maybe something else?...

Gradually my thought gets almost filled up with her. How is she doing today? Has she eaten already? Is Grim giving her problems? Is she having a hard time with classes? plenty of questions fill up my head the temptation to check on her every time and day is quite a struggle to resist.

And somehow Lilia has me all figured out telling me I fell in love.

'Love. So this is love?' I thought. 'I like it'

If there would be anyone strong and capable enough to steal my heart I knew it definitely is her.

Although I was a little anxious though...does she likes me back? or will I get friend-zoned like Shroud's depiction of an anime he watched.

I was fearful so I got as much bits of advice from Lilia on how to court a human.

And I start with gifts. I send her jewelry, dresses, and fabrics she could use for her hobby. I'm not sure how much I should give to make her content so I gave her as much as I could which is a huge pile that reaches up to the door.

That should suffice right?

I followed it up with quality time. There's nothing best but spending time with the person you love. Watching movies, evening/midnight strolls, studying, and many more. And she seemed quite pleased with my presence in her life.

He also tries to ward off any possible rivals not like they're strong enough to even rival him nor would they even dare or maybe a certain lion beast man might? Although he did try his best not to push them off too much and upset her.

He did everything he could to court her he's not sure though if he's succeeding or not...but seeing as she never reacted badly maybe he is succeeding...

So putting up a brave and confident face as I went to visit her for their usual hangouts.

I enters her dorm and I'm so proud of her seeing the dorm looking more livable and home-like.

We went on with our usual routine chatting about what went on our day, watching movies, and such...till I decided to spill the beans.

"Child of man" I whisper as we watch a musical show she loves so much that she claims exists in her world.

"Yeah?" she says as she turns her attention from the screen to me.

"I...would like to tell you something" I confess I could feel my cheeks heat up and my heart pound loudly.

"go on" she says as she stares up at him curiously

"I...love you." I said.

So many emotions passes through her face as her mouth hangs open and she stares at me in disbelief. "O-oh...really?? Like really?? romantically?" she says sounding a bit too eager and excited.

Which made my heart soar and I felt the butterfly in my stomach flutter around at her words. "Yes...yes I do. I love you, Yuri." I whisper directly on her ear.

She shudders in response as her mouth kept hanging open until she spoke "yes! I love you too" she says jumping in my arms as we tumble and fell on the couch with her on top and we both stare at each other for a moment before laughing in unison.

I've never been so happy in my whole life. Neither could I then imagine a world without her after meeting her I think the world would feel all monochrome and blue.

Cause she's my world now. And I revolve around her like a planet to the sun.

I wrap my arms securely around her waist as I asked permission to kiss her.

She answers with a nod. And I made little effort to waste time as I press my lips on hers.

She answers my kiss with a kiss and we share it passionately on the living room couch thank seven Grim is sleeping over at Ace and Deuce's room.

I roll my hips on hers and she lets out a soft moan as she felt my arousal press on her womanhood.

I continue kissing her not wanting to let go we didn't even realize we were already standing and walking up to her room with her legs wrapped around my torso and I carry her while are tongues clash and dance into the passionate rhythm we share.

I press her on her bed as I pull back to catch our breath. Were both panting with our cheeks flushed and clothes a bit wrinkled and messed up but neither do we mind it as I pepper her neck with soft fluttery kisses before gently sucking and nipping leaving a hickey or two near her jaws.

I hastily began to remove our clothes a little too eager and impatient as I struggle to unbutton the last button of her blouse.

She laughs as she lends me a hand.

She looks so beautiful bare and naked for someone like I. I cup her breast and gave it a few squeezes. She writhes and moans as I gave her left nipple a small lick.

I circle my tongue around her already hard nipples before suckling on it she moans a little louder.

I repeat the same actions on her right sooner she's moaning my name. Oh how lovely it sounds coming out from her lips.

I spread her legs and gets in between her.

My hands slowly glide from her chest to her cunt, gently exploring the entrance before putting a finger inside.

Her eyes flutter close as she throws her head back and her body arches towards me. I continue thrusting and curling my finger in her cunt.

Once i'm sure she's comfortable enough I added another this time moving my fingers faster and pushing in a little deeper. Her walls clench and unclench on my fingers as I move and add another in.

Our hearts pound loudly and became one, our breathing ragged.

She writhes and moans loudly pleading for more and whispering sweet I love you's.

Pulling out my fingers I decided to take it a step up. Making sure she's comfortable in her position I pump my cock a few times and gently rub the tip by her entrance before slamming in.

I groan and she moans. Grabbing on her waist I thrust in while her arms hook around my neck and pull me in for a passionate kiss.

Eager for more I began fastening my pace and pushing in a little too deeper. She moaned loudly as we kiss tongue-to-tongue teeth-to-teeth. Her nails dug on my back it'll surely leave some marks and I'd gladly wear it with pride.

My cock twitched inside her and her walls pulsate and tightens.

A low rumble came out my throat feeling closing and I knew she does too I hasten my pace and thrust deeper occasionally grazing her prostate making her scream and beg.

I let out a groan as I did one final thrust deep inside of her before releasing his orgasm. She follows along after a few seconds passes by.

We're both pant chest rising and falling, eyes hazy with lust and love, Cheeks burning red with passion and adoration for the latter.

Her pussy is filled to the brim with his cock still inside and their adjoined cum some even leaking out of her entrance.

I lean down on her chest, face nuzzled on the crook of her neck as I pulls out. Cum oozes out of her cunt dripping along her thighs to the sheets

"I love you, my child of man" I whispered lovingly.

"I love you too, Tsunotaro" She whispers back.

[...end]

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starlightshadowsworld · 21 days

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hii may i ask which country do you live if you don't mind?? bcuz it's 4am in my country and i wonder if you also have a bad sleep schedule or it's morning/afternoon etc where you live :3

(and pls don't question me about why im awake rn- [i dunno either])

Did not expect to be called out like this.

I’m kidding.

You’re good it’s fine. To answer your question, I am from England and it is a little over 2am here. I do find it funny I get this ask as I’m making tea.

So it’s not that late but my sleep schedule is…not great. It used to be a lot worse but baby steps I guess. Not these days tho I got way to much work to do.

Hence the tea.

Hope you have a nice night whether your awake or asleep.

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frecklystars · 2 months

Text

Aww, GAD anon 🥺🥺 I want to selfishly keep your message in my inbox to look back on again, but I want to let you know here that I did read it and I appreciate every word you wrote.

I'm so glad my own message back to you could make you feel better. I do mean it, I am spiritually here with you and supporting you and holding your hand through every single hard thing. Like I said, if you're struggling to sleep because you're anxious, chances are I am definitely awake at the same time as you. 2am, 4am, 7am, hell even 10am, I am most likely still awake. I go many days without sleeping bc, y'know, anxiety lol. or any of the other things you mentioned you struggle with, I struggle with too, you are not alone in those things at all. You can always think to yourself "well hey right now this task is really hard, but at least Keri is also dealing with this right now and she is so proud of me for trying!" because I am! so proud, that is -- of you! for trying! bc I know it is hard as fuck to push yourself to do literally Anything when your brain makes you feel consumed by panic 24/7. you are so strong and I believe you can do this!!!! one day we are both gonna be able to sleep more and eat more and relax more and just, exist without the little monsters in our head feeding on our fear. i got you. we got this 💪✨

And all the things you said about Barbie and Ken ;-; wow. Thank you so much. I really, really, REALLY needed to read that... 😭😭😭 That helped me feel a bit more comforted after... everything that's been happening. I had a really, really heavy trigger hit me recently, and it got to the point where today I woke up and Everything That Has Ever Traumatized Me was the first and only thing in my head, and it just stuck in my brain, wouldn't go away. I was having a reeeeally difficult day bc of it, but then I read your message when it was slow at work, and I started to relax, I just kept reading it over and over and over again and finally I wasn't as shaky, I was starting to get more control of myself ;-; It helps when someone is telling me "hey, logically, here is why your F/Os would not harm you" and yours made me laugh too. You were absolutely 100% correct and the way you phrased it was so funny. Especially what you said about Ken... that was hilarious, made me smile when I was having such a rough day.

And I also appreciate you phrasing it as "hey btw your F/Os are normal people who love in a normal way. whoever is claiming to love you in a way that is harming you is... literally Not Normal. most people are not Like That." and I literally sat there staring out into space for a few long seconds and muttering to myself "my god, they're right. it's literally... not fucking normal for people to behave like the way I have been treated." and tbh that made me feel so much better. My F/Os ARE normal!!! I mean yes some of them are evil wicked murderers or silly silly villains who try to take over the world or they like to set things on fire -- but they're, like... not manipulators who are endlessly dedicated to the bit! and it genuinely helps me SO MUCH when somebody tells me "hey your F/Os would not hurt you, and here are the logical reasons why." I always appreciate when people say "hey they won't hurt you :)" but it doesn't really "click" with me or calm me down as efficiently, because my brain will constantly be asking "yes they SAID they wouldn't hurt me, but... what if they still would ;-;" like I literally just get consumed with what-ifs. but ppl saying "no actually here's some ACTUAL REASONS why these characters would be gentle with you, and how hurting you is out of character for them, here's EXAMPLES" - that does wonders for me, dude.

So!!!! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a nice message for me to look back on. And hey, if you ever need to vent about anything, please feel free, my inbox is always open. Sending you lots of hugs and little stars to wish you a good night (or day depending on your timezone)!! 🌟✨🌟✨🌟✨

#asks #anonymous

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lunarsun12 · 2 months

Text

Lee Know Cat Channel

Masterlist

It was 5am and Lee Know was secretly filming his cat videos. As he doesn’t want someone in particular to steal his channel and as well his cats are most cooperative at 5am. It’s was all going well until Felix and Han saw Lee Know trying to put on tap dancing shoes on his cats.

How will the rest react to the sudden discovery of the channel?

Back At SKZ Family Chat

Today 5:00am

Felix☀️: EOMMA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!

Lee Know🐱: I’m chilling with my cats…as you can see..

Han🐿️: We can see that! Why are you trying to make them play the piano!

Lee Know🐱: Why not? Stop asking questions and do what you need to do. It time for the tap dancing segment

Felix☀️: That explains the tiny tap dancing shoes in the mail the other day. I thought it was han with obsession with tiny things!

Hyunjin🕺: Don’t ask why am I awake at 5am!? Seungmin was sleep talking again! Also why the old man..looks upset

Bangchan🐺: This not so old man! Is upset as the dancing cat trio hasn’t uploaded yesterday! What if something happens to them!?

Felix☀️: Isn’t that for kids Appa?

Bangchan🐺: NO! Adult can watch as well! I need to see the tap dancing segment!

Few hours later…

Changbin🙄: This is getting out of hand…Eomma has just bought a flaming ring….i just got it in the mail

Seungmin🐶: Welp- looks like Hyunjin is going to get toast!

Changbin🙄: Its so tiny and has bells…i don’t think hyunjin can even fit in there

Bangchan🐺: Lee Know! What did I say stop buying cat toys!! This time with fire!

Lee Know🐱: Chan it’s for a good cause!! My audience has been demanding for ages!!

Changbin🙄: Audience? Since when Han cares for your dumb cats?

Lee Know🐱: Not Han but my YouTube channel!

Bangchan🐺: Wait a second…

Han🐿️: EOMMA IS TRIO CATS

Bangchan🐺: SINCE WHEN!! I can’t believe I simped for Lee know cats

Lee Know🐱: Since last year…

I.N🦊: That explains a lot why I keep on hearing noises at 4am. I thought it is han…

Han🐿️: Yah! You know I’m not the only crazy person here *coughs* felix

Felix☀️: Again…Han is lowkey scared mentioning Hyunjin name…

Lee Know🐱: I mentioned it a lot all time! How can you all not know…

Hyunjin🕺: Becuase you are a cr-

Changbin🙄: Crazy handsome Hyunjin meant that…you did filmed at odd timing

Lee Know🐱: Whatever I’m gonna plan the next video! Before your Appa cries again

Lee Know🐱: And Hyunjin touch my channel and I’m gonna sell you gucci stuff to the charity stuff

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glosskirt · 11 months

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Aren't you stressed, my dear? || KSJ

Synopsis: It's the fourth night you stayed up 'till 4am to finish work. You're THIS close to crying, but you still say you're not stressed? Jin finds out, but he's not okay with this.

Genre: Fluffy, what I think is amusing

Warnings: Kind of cringey romance, a little cursing

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'I can't do this anymore...' you thought to yourself. It was 12 minutes past 4:00 AM, and you were sitting in front of your laptop, about to cry. You hadn't even finished half of what you needed to do! And tomorrow your boss was going to add even more things to do. While thinking, you decided to go grab a snack. Maybe that'd make you feel better?

"Why are you still awake?" Jin asked. He was in the living room playing Super Mario Kart. "Work. And more work. That's it. You having fun?" You asked, on the way to the kitchen. He nodded while smiling. You found almost no snacks to your interest! "Jin! Did you finish the snacks?!" You yelled. He flinched. "Yeah, I did. Sorry." He mumbled. You were already upset, but now? No snacks? "Jinnn. I'm hungry." You complained. "What am I supposed to do about that?" He joked, but you were dead serious. "Oh, sorry. Joke only! I'll make you food. Go back to the room." He said, getting up from the sofa.

10 minutes had passed. 'Where the fuck is my food,,," You wondered. Jin entered the room with a tray. "Here you go. Jin Ramen. A specialty! With cheese and sausage. Just how you like it." He said, smiling. A gleaming smile. "Thank you, Jin," You said. While eating, he was looking at your laptop with a serious look. "What's wrong?" You asked. He looked back at you. "Aren't you stressed, my dear? That's so much to do. Do you need help?" You smiled. He's very sweet. "No, I'm okay. I just need your undying support." He smiled and took your hand. "You always have my undying support." You held his hand. "I love you." You said.

"I love you more." He whispered.

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tagging ; @haecien 💘

#glosskirt enthuse #gloss!🍊#soliloquise #seokjin #short story #jin x you

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pacifymebby · 1 year

Text

t r o u b l e / chapter 5

a peaky blinders modern au

Chapter List

"Don't fuck with him right now Fen," smirked John as he closed the door on Tommy's study and, still with my sister tucked under his arm, took us up the stairs to a bedroom someone had made up for us.

I bristled at his persistence, still using a nickname I'd not been called since I was a little girl despite my protests. Despite my certainty that none of them had the right to behave so familiar with me now.

"Where was all this familiarity when we were inviting you to our fuckin ballets eh big brother?" I turned to him in the doorway, blocking him from entering the room after me so that Sonya had to slip under my arm but he could not pass.

I didn't expect the same temper from him as Tommy but I didn't expect him to smirk either.

"Don't kid on you ever really wanted us to taint your little illusions little sister," he said shaking his head and stepping back, the look in his eyes one of disappointment. One which might have left me feeling guilty if he hadn't betrayed us earlier, tricking us into getting into his car so he could do our brothers dirty work and drag us back to Birmingham.

When I closed the door I turned to see Sonya stood in the window looking down at the miles of garden. The long drive that lead to this converted "farm house" which was, in comparison to the tiny flat we'd been children in, was like a palace. It didn't feel right, being stood in that bedroom with her, miles from anywhere we called home.

I could see it in the way she was standing, leaning in the arch of the window frame, her head resting on a beam of waxed wood, that she didn't feel right here either.

"am 'sposed to be at a fucking rehearsal in four hours..." she said softly with a sad smirk on her lips when I came to stand next to her, my head resting against the opposing frame.

"Hes a total cunt Sunny," I said with a shrug before pushing myself away from the frame and throwing myself down onto the bed stretching to shimmy my legwarmers and tights off. In truth despite the hatred which had been keeping me awake only fifteen minutes before, I was exhausted now. I'd been up since 4am and it was past midnight now. I'd not eaten since before my final class of the day and my body felt frail with lethargy.

I wasn't going to sleep comfortably, I knew that, but I still needed to rest my head and shut my eyes and hope that when I woke up my pig headed cunt of a brother would have seen sense.

"He can't fucken keep you locked up here Sunny an he knows it... He's a complete bastard but he's not stupid... He'll have to let you go home."

"This is our home..." she turned to me then with a smile just as bitchy as mine had been bitter, the glow returned to her eyes so that she looked a little stronger than she had earlier when our brother had reduced her to tears.

"He'll have changed his mind in the mornin," I said stubbornly certain that I was right. That he'd see sense, let her go back to London where Alfie and his men could protect her. They were just as cut throat as any Blinder. She'd be safe there and she could keep dancing, keep working, protect her name and the bright lights which glistened around it above the opera doors. "Alfie's men are just as good as ours, Tommy fuckin knows that an all..."

At the name of Alfie's name however Sonya lit up, returned to herself as if remembering something that had happened years ago. In fairness the last few hours of our day had dragged out that long.

"When I saw him earlier he said he wanted to speak to you... Told me to tell you.." she said turning back to the window, eyes on the grass which was a strange shade of midnight then. The night sky full of stars shrouded by cloud and the mist from the peaks.

"Alfie?" I frowned sucking my cheek in as I pulled my top over my head and crouched to search the bags John had "packed" for a tshirt and some trackies.

"Yeah," she said, "why does Alfie Solomons wanna talk to you Sylvie?" she asked glancing back at me then. Seeing that I was changing for bed and realising that that was what she should have been doing too. That starring out the window listlessly wasn't going to take her back to London. Wasn't going to make her feel better or solve any of the shit our brothers had dragged us into that day.

"No fuckin clue..." I said pulling the covers on my bed back to see something I hadn't seen for a very long time.

I picked up the small soft rabbit toy Aunt Pol had brought for Sonya on the day we were born and examined it with a stunned smirk. It had been through the wars in its time. Sonya had taken it everywhere with her, refused to let go of it no matter where she was going nor who she was going with. She'd been adamant she was taking him to school with her when we'd started and John had had to bribe her with all sorts of treats before she agreed to leave him at home.

"Hey Sunny," I said holding him up for her to see, "look who it is..."

She gasped, her hand delicate over her mouth as she starred in surprise.

"Surprised they kept him," I said knowing when the words left my mouth that I was being unfair now. That I was being my usual sullen Shelby self. Lashing out in the most petty of ways.

"Course they did, I'd fuckin kill him if he got rid of Buttons!"

When I tossed him to her she caught him and held him right up to her nose, hers touching his just the same way she'd done when she was only four and I wondered what had happened to my equivalent.

"You think they kept Pip an all?" I asked thinking of the mouse toy I'd been given on the same day. He'd been through the wars too but for very different reasons. I'd been too curious for my own good as a wee girl and poor Pip had suffered for it with a singed ear and a tail ripped off and stitched back on so many times that there were several coloured threads left in his bottom by our Aunt Pol.

"Be surprised if they kept one and not the other," she said lifting the covers from her bed, smiling softly when she saw him, singed ear and all sitting against the pillow. "Which one do you think went to the trouble of making the beds?" she asked quietly though deep down I already knew who had made them.

As much as I'd have liked to believe it had been one of our brothers who had searched through the left for all our old things, I knew it hadn't been any of them.

"I saw uncle charlie leave just as we came down the hall," I said catching Pip when she tossed him to me. Examining everything about him that hadn't changed at all. Tried not to miss the girl who'd held him last, before she'd gone away to London at far too young an age.

When a quiet knock sounded out we looked at one another, both of us with tired eyes. We knew exactly what the other was thinking and so, almost in time to beat we reached for the lamps to turn them out and plunge the two of us into darkness. Perhaps then we'd be granted the privilege of a moments peace.

The knock sounded out again but no one spoke and I watch Sonya through the dark, how still she stood, how she held her breath. I held mine too and for a second the world fell silent, a quilted cotton wool silence broken only by the sound of footsteps retreating. Whatever they had wanted could wait.

I listened to Sonya pulling the covers back, the shift of fabric as she tucked herself in, the soft hush as she fidgeted for a second to get comfortable with her head on the pillow. I didn't want her to go to sleep yet. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts just yet.

But Sunny felt the same and after a moment she let out a sigh and whispered to me through the dark.

"You sure you don't know what Alfie wants to see you for?" she asked and though for the second time that evening I felt the guilt tug on my conscience, I stayed quiet, pretended to be thinking.

"Probably nothin the old mans insane... He say that to you today?"

"Yeah..."

"Probably just tryin to wind you up Sunny... You know what he's like..."

"Yeah..." she said softly, dissapointed.

For a minute or two more we slipped into silence again. I started to feel nervous, scared that she would fall asleep first, that I'd be the last person awake in the house. It had been a thought which had scared me ever since I was a little girl but on nights like these the anxiety gripped me harder than ever. I'd have probably confessed to her, told her exactly what Alfie wanted with me if only I'd thought it would wake her up, keep her there with me all night.

"Hey Sylvie..."

"Yeah?"

"Been keepin secrets from you too you know..."

"Yeah," i said softly, "You're shite at hiding things..."

"Tommy's right," she spoke gravely then, "he's right and he doesn't even fucking know why he's right..."

"Don't give him so much credit Sunny," I yawned turning over to face the window and the curtains which were open letting only the smallest slither of light in, "Alfie Solomons is a headcase who never leaves his 'bakery' but he was there on Camden High Road exactly where you needed him to be wasn't he... Our big brother might have shipped us half way across the country and only spoken three words to us since we were eight years old, but not without sending his little spies after us... He probably knows exactly why you can't go back to London," I said, fearing for a moment that my whisper in its rushed hushed tones had been too harsh. I hadn't wanted it to be. Even if I didn't know her secret, I knew whose side i was on and whose side I always would be on. "Even if I don't..." I smirked then, not really asking her to tell me, both of us knowing she might as well.

"I was with Freddie..." she sighed.

"Sabini?"

"Yesterday yeah, that's who I was with..." she was mousy, lying on her back, hands covering her eyes. "Fuck... You really think he knows?"

"Yeah," I said softly, "maybe not everything but he's probably guessed..."

"Shit," she winced and I could hear the beginnings of a sob in her voice.

"S'okay... He probably knows about me too," I said with a half hearted consolatory smirk, "what dya thinks worse? Sleeping with the enenmy or using your family connections to sell coke to the toffs at school?" I asked dryly, smiling softly when she gasped.

"Sylvie!" she whispered, "tell me you're fucking kidding me?"

"I don't know how Alfie fucking Solomons knows about it but yeah... I think thats why he was lookin for me..."

"Fucking class A's Syl!" she hissed though I could tell that she wasn't exactly angry, that her shock was the awe tainted disbelieving kind of shock.

"And ain't our school on the edge of Solomons territory..." I added with a wince, knowing full well that it was in his territory, knowing full well that that was why he knew, why he wanted to find me.

"It isn't on the edge Syl its slap bang in the fuckin middle of it!"

"Well then," I yawned, "I guess that answers that..."

"What?"

"I'm in more trouble than you..." I said with a small smile, hoping to quell her own anxieties as I rolled over again and nuzzled into the pillow, determined that despite my discomfort in this new house, I was going to get some sleep.

🐻🌿

"Fuck you Tommy!"

We were woken around 4am by another familiar sound. A familiar voice shouting familiar words.

Ada hit the Shelby "manor" like a flash flood, filling every crevace and nook with the vitriol she directed at our brother.

"Ada love come on little sister don't be like this eh I thought you'd calmed down in the car eh, I thought we was calm now..." Arthur followed her up the stairs and down the hall, their footsteps echoing past our bedroom door and up another set of stairs. It didn't take a genius to guess who she was looking for.

"Leave me alone Arthur I don't want to calm down! I want to go home!" she cried and I imagined the way she swept him away without looking back. Without fearing what he would do if she disobeyed him. Damaged enough by the past that she knew she could never be hurt deeper than she had already known.

"Where is he? Where the fuck is he?"

"Ada come on now sweetheart what about Karl, he's only a littlen all this shoutin an screamin can't be no good for the boy..."

"Don't you dare talk to me about my fuckin son John Shelby!" she snapped, "not when you shits are the ones who've dragged him back to this... This evil fuckin place!"

They were arguing just past our door and I heard little Karl beginning to cry. And though Ada hushed him a little she didn't stop her arguing, didn't stop putting up a fight.

"One of you two shitheads better take me to my brother right now or I promise you won't live to see the fucking sunrise..." she demanded, so defiant, a flare spitting in the night. Fearless the way I wished I'd been earlier that evening when Tommy had reduced me and Sonya to tears.

"Alright Ada I'm here I'm here, no need to wake the whole country..."

I slipped from the bed, the covers falling away from me as I trod two feet down carefully. I couldn't tell if Sunny was asleep though I'd have been amazed had she really managed to remain dead to the din that was happening right outside the bedroom door.

"Tommy!" she started, her voice wobbling because he'd caught her off guard, because the sight of him at times was enough to shake even the sturdiest of women.

"Alright love I know you're upset, I know you're worried about Michael..."

"Fuck Michael..." she shrugged but Tommy carried on, leaning on his words to quiet her.

"And I know you're worried about your sisters, you're worried about all of us eh, the whole family... But thats why..."

"What family..."

I smirked, my ear pressed up against the door to listen now that their voices were lowered and a little muffled. I remembered Sunny, how she'd uttered those same words. I wished she could hear them echoed now by someone as unflinching as our big sister.

"Thats why Ive brought everybody back home eh, the whole family, safe and sound under one roof... So you don't need to worry anymore yeah, as long as everyones here, together... The whole family is safe..."

I wondered if he was proud of that speech. If he believed a single word of what he'd said. If John and Arthur really believed it. I knew Ada wouldn't, she was too much like me and Sonya. Or we had grown to be too much like her.

The hallway was quiet for a moment. I listened with my eyes closed as if trying to fine tune my remaining senses. Ears pricked to hear them talking. But for a moment no one did. For a moment the house was swallowed in the early morning's bleak hollow and we were all of us, quiet as mice.

And then, without shaking, without stifling a sniff or a sob as me and Sonya had earlier that evening, Ada spoke again and when she did all I wanted to do was run to her. Hold onto her as tightly as I could. Bury my face in her sweater as I'd done when I was young. Because she said everything I never could.

"There is no fuckin family here Tommy, just you and all the people you command like little puppets on little strings..."

Next Chapter

#peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders fanfiction #original female character #Bonnie gold #Trouble

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