#it's the thought patterns- they are the same for both kinds of ocd

[wild-at-mind]

i'm starting to really resent people who clearly do not struggle with morality based compulsions who swan in, say something that would fucking destroy someone who did have that kind of compulsion if they attempted to live their life based on an extrapolation of what was just said, then swan out again happy as larry.

[gothibara]

Hii

I have no idea if you're still into Ibara, BUT if you are I've got a question: In a few of your posts you mentioned Ibara being OCD. This idea is very very interesting to me, and was wondering why you think that? And perhaps if there's any other headcannons you might have?

Looking at Ibara's general personality, there seems to be something up with her. I'm interested to hear your conclusions on this. (Again this is only if you want too! There's no pressure of course! I just think you have great thoughts on Ibara and would like to hear your take. /gen)

i am still very deeply invested in ibara! sorry for the very late response ive been dealing with med issues and my hypersomnia had my ass in a grip

Anyway, onto the ask-- keep in mind I am not a psychiatrist I am just a guy with OCD and none of this information should be used to come to conclusions about real world people. but

OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by compulsive behaviors performed in an attempt to alleviate the distress caused by repeated intrusive obsessions. These obsessions are often irrational, and the compulsion may or may not really be a "solution" to the stressor. (In fact, it usually isn't).

Obsessions are typically classified into "themes"-- the kind that most people are familiar with, mysophobia, is referred to as "Contamination subtype", but most people deal with multiple types and the prominence of these types can change across a person's lifetime or even day to day.

One of the kinds that's lesser known but probably more common than we think is "Scrupulosity" OCD, which is then sorta subdivided into "religious scrupulosity" and "moral scrupulosity"-- for the purposes of talking about Ibara, we're going to consider them the same thing because her morals and spirituality are inherently connected.

(^worlds cutest sweetest little plantimal ever)

now-- let's not get it twisted, being religious, performing religious ritual (as opposed to "ritual" in the ocd sense, which is what compulsions are often referred to), having superstitions, etc are not signs of OCD. Many people with OCD have no spiritual affiliation at all, and there's nothing wrong with believing strongly in things that aren't "rational". Scrupulosity/Religious OCD (which i'm calling ROCD from here on out just for ease) takes up an amount of time that is detrimental to the life of the haver (both mentally and physically), induces extreme distress, impede daily function and personal relationships, and often deviates from actual religious doctrine. Which is a good segue, actually, because

Ibara's religiosity really doesn't track with specific doctrine for....anyone.

Obviously we need to discard some of the more Doyleist explanations for Ibara and her behavior-- for example, Horikoshi probably isn't super familiar with Christianity, because Japan isn't a Christian-majority country-- so please suspend disbelief and let me cook teehee but

Ibara's expressions of spirituality very rarely pierce beyond "nebulously Christian"; I don't think she's ever even explicitly referred to as Christian, simply "spiritual" or "religious". She never refers to Earthly authorities of the church (priests, pastors, the pope, patriarchs) or church itself, doesn't even refer to Jesus by name (although she does mention bread being the body of the Lord), nor does she mention any specific books like the Bible (although she does reference bible stories, such as with her move "Fig Tree"). Furthermore, her values, while Christian-aligned, don't necessarily follow the pattern of zealousness you'd see in real life. "Truth" is the main pillar of her faith, and while it's certainly a Christian principle, it's not really one I'd say the Bible pushes more than ones like "love" or "charity".

I did a lot of research into Christianity in Japan when i first started really exploring Ibara's character, and it does syncretise with Buddhism and Shintoism, especially in the older kakure strain. Truth is a main principle of Buddhism-- and we know Ibara is some kind of animist, because in School Briefs 4 she mentions praying to nature spirits. But even if we take the incredibly niche Kakure angle into account, Ibara's approach to religion still sorta seems like she's just kind of cooking up her own specific soup of values and structure. It has a basis, but it doesn't seem like she's following the beat of anyone else's drum.

anyways. we've established ibara has a very uniquely ibara type of spirituality, we can examine the other big elements; compulsive behavior, frequency & intensity, and functional impairment.

We see Ibara praying a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Obsessive, repetitive prayer is a pretty common ritual for ROCD. And that's not counting any possible internal/mental praying, which still is regarded as compulsive behavior as far as OCD is concerned. More concerningly, we also see Ibara jump very quickly to punishment in both theory and practice (for example, saying that she and Shishida ought to be lashed, or a gag in BNHA smash where she crucifies herself). It's very important to note that Ibara's standards do not just apply to other people-- she's not a zealot enforcer trying to push everyone else to live the way she does. And while she does make judgemental comments about others (saying Kuroiro needs to reexamine himself, calling shoppers fighting over coats in BNHA TUM greedy), none of these compare to the way Ibara acts when it comes to things that would reflect on her own morality.

sheppard-pratt identifies the core of OCD as;

"It can be argued that many forms of OCD come down to a fear that lack of vigilance could lead to a loss of identity. One with Harm OCD may worry that failure to catch that one impulse could lead to spontaneous discovery that he/she is a violent or harmful person. [...] Nowhere is this identity over-protection clearer than in the case of moral scrupulosity."

Lets look at one of Ibara's most well-known moments-- interrupting Present Mic during the Sports Fest to correct the comment he made calling her "Class B's Assassin". Most people understand he was joking, and most people wouldn't consider that sort of thing important enough to interrupt the announcer of an event over, but for Ibara, leaving it unaddressed could mean allowing for other people to view her in that light, which is now an attack on her sense of self.

Apologizing to Gigantomachia, like in the panel I shared above, is an act of self-soothing that "proves" she's a good person, because she cannot not participate in the plan to ambush him, because to not participate would mean people might die and she knows that. And we can reasonably glean this is a source of anxiety for her-- because we see things like her crying and fainting (in the anime) in the JTA after falling for Shinsou's trap, and in the OVA we see her faint when the game escalates into fighting where people get injured, and at the sports fest we see her immediately associate failure with having taken Mineta's headband in a "sneaky" way. Ibara seems pretty placid most of the time, but these spikes in distress caused by these momentary "slips of vigilance" are enough to evoke incredibly strong emotional reactions, even to the point of fainting. It's 0-100, off or on, black/white thinking.

And this impedes things like schoolwork (not wanting to use strategies at the JTA), school life (spending days praying in the woods in order to prepare for the school play), her relationships with others (inflexibility in thought, interrupting present mic, making judgemental comments about others, acting potentially violently towards others), and her own physical well-being (stress, fainting and risk of injury, intentional self injury as atonement). Ergo, you can argue she shows all of the signs of OCD; an obsession (ROCD) with intrusive thoughts (excessive concerns/fixations on sins and wrongdoing) that leads to compulsive repeated behaviors (prayers, reassurance-seeking, enforcement, self injury) that has a marked impact and presence in daily life.

also i think shes autistic. this one i dont really have a ton to pull from but she's very B&W thinking, doesnt emote a ton (even looking unenthusiastic in the christmas art by horikoshi or on the cards for bnha smash tap), fixates on certain topics, and exhibits social behaviors such as odd speech (uses the pronoun "waga", which is incredibly archaic and formal, speaks largely in religious metaphor and doesnt seem to understand that other people dont get it (see: school briefs 5 hotpot of darkness chapter) and does so even in private (jta, "a lost lamb descends from the heavens") ), an unfamiliarity with games like baseball (ova), has miscommunications during the conversation about crushes/love because shes talking about love in terms of compassion (school briefs 2), her favorite food is one thats pretty simple, has a simple texture, and easy to find made consistently (bread), is described as "straightforward and aboveboard" (horikoshi on her sheet), jeanist when talking about her costume in the ultra analysis book says ranks it high in ingenuity because it "tells the world of her upright nature" and he "expects consistency from this one", has meltdowns (fainting when overwhelmed)... im sure i could find more but this is long enough HAHA

[jungkoode]

I just started reading asw chapter 1 and I’m curious as I know in this story taehyung is a stalker and it deals with psychological fixation… is it okay for a reader to romanticize taehyung as he is in this story? Or shouldnt we do that and always read with caution in mind ?

FIRST things first: I want to be crystal clear that ASW does not romanticize OCD, eating disorders, or trauma.

Taehyung’s OCD is not cute. It is shown as genuinely debilitating—the intrusive thoughts, the compulsive cleaning that leaves his hands raw, the way his illness isolates him and makes normal social connection nearly impossible. Same goes for Y/N. Her perfectionism and disordered eating patterns are depicted as sources of genuine suffering that have cost her normal relationships and a healthy sense of self-worth.

These are not endearing personality quirks. They are consequences. Of fear, of trauma, of emotional absence and repression. I write these things not to glamorize, but to witness. Because mental health struggles are part of the human experience, and fiction can be a powerful tool for understanding and empathy when handled responsibly.

Now. About romanticizing Taehyung.

I think the more important question here is how and why we’re drawn to people like him—people who are broken and raw and terrifyingly tender in their obsession. And that’s where I think dark fiction like ASW can hold space for contradiction. Because yes—Taehyung is sympathetic. He’s achingly soft. His reverence for Y/N feels religious. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He wants to be near her.

But that doesn’t make what he does okay. Stalking is not okay. Obsessive surveillance is not okay. Ritualizing another person into a holy object is not okay.

And the fic knows that.

His obsession comes from trauma, mental illness, and profound isolation, and while we can understand and even empathize with those origins, the stalking behavior itself remains deeply problematic. The story doesn’t shy away from showing how his actions affect both him and Y/N, including the ways they feed into her own psychological vulnerabilities.

What’s complex—and what makes this story so emotionally layered—is that Y/N, in her own fractured way, finds something in his devotion that speaks to her. She’s not helpless. She’s not unaware. She’s unraveling too, and part of her wants to be wanted in the specific, devouring way he wants her. And that’s what makes their dynamic deeply disturbing and psychologically compelling.

Trauma is not a love language. But trauma does make us crave in weird, warped ways.

And sometimes, what looks like comfort is just a mirror being held up to our own hunger.

So no—you shouldn’t read ASW and think “this is romantic.” But you can read it and think “this is fascinating. This is fucked. This is beautiful in a way that makes me deeply uncomfortable.”

And if you find yourself drawn to Taehyung—not just physically, but emotionally—that doesn’t make you a bad reader. It makes you a conscious one. Someone capable of recognizing emotional ruin and still finding the humanity inside it.

Let yourself feel things. Just stay awake to why.

It’s okay to notice that you crave that kind of attention. It’s okay to be wrecked by the gentleness he shows her. It’s okay to mourn what he could’ve been if he’d had help, or a mother who loved him right, or a world that didn’t teach him to hurt just to feel clean. But don’t let that override the reality that he’s unwell. That he crosses lines. That they both cross lines.

I think you can absolutely be drawn to these characters and their connection while maintaining awareness of the serious mental health issues at play. Good fiction about difficult topics should make you think critically about what you’re reading and feeling. If the story makes you consider questions about obsession, trauma, mental health, and human connection—that’s the point.

But I also want to stress how important it is to maintain that critical awareness and to recognize the difference between fictional exploration and real-life mental health.

And finally—if any of this hits too close to home, if you or someone you love is navigating real-life OCD, disordered eating, or trauma: fiction can be cathartic, but it isn’t a therapist. Please take care of yourselves outside the page too.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

hi! we dont know each other but ive stumbled upon your posts in which you describe your anxiety brain and borrowing trouble from the future and i can totally relate to that. and it sounds a lot like ocd, which i know i have... idk if this would be helpful

sometimes i do see things about ocd that i relate to. i think a lot of the underlying thought patterns and fears are probably similar. i don't think i respond to them in the way that somebody with ocd does, though -- i don't experience compulsions and don't find any relief from behaving in certain ways or performing certain rituals, i just experience profound dread and physical discomfort until i'm able to forget about the thing that triggered the anxiety or i move on to something else

my sister has ocd, which i only learned recently (we don't live together and aren't super close), but again, although i see overlap between our experiences, i think we respond to those triggers differently and find different things helpful/harmful. obviously everyone is different so that doesn't rule out the possibility that i'd also have it, but i think it makes it less likely

generally i think my issues are largely attributable to generalised anxiety disorder, some kind of brainweirds (not sure if autistic or have adhd or both), and a solid dose of complex trauma that contributes a fair amount of hypervigilance and fear to the proceedings which make standard anxiety tactics less helpful

i think all mental health diagnoses are labels we give to certain groups of symptoms rather than like. firmly grouped Conditions between which there can be no overlap, though. some aspects of anxiety and ocd are very similar, and some are different -- the same stars in different constellations. i think i score more points in the anxiety chart, so that's where i am for now, but doesn't mean i'm not experiencing some of the same things, if that makes sense (and it also doesn't mean that some coping mechanisms designed for one condition won't work just because i don't think i fit under that label -- sometimes they do)

[brainisonfire]

I really hope this won't come across as a way to compare different kinds of illnesses and struggles cause it's not, it's just stuff I thought about while listening to the great impersonator that I needed to share. at the end of the day, I'm just a mentally ill bitch lol

i still need time to process this record well enough to be able to fully put into words the amount of things that im feeling, but this whole thing about this album is bringing back things. so im sorry if this is going to be sort of a trauma dump.

in february one of my best friends lost her mother to cancer, and even tho it's not my trauma and my loss to claim it hit harder than i expected (and yes, i do feel like shit for expecting it to hit less). my friend and i grew up basically as one, we've been together since we were three years old, we spent so many afternoons in her room playing with her mum. i knew that woman too well to act like it didn't hurt me as well, but im not going to pretend it's my loss to grieve. she had a family i need to stay closer than ever now.

all of this was to say that when she died something in my brain snapped. i had the kind of reaction that makes you go 'life is short. i can't keep wasting mine. anything could happen at any minute. i dont want to go with these many things left unsaid'. which felt insane, and also kind of bad if i have to be honest, because years ago when my father died i didn't have the clarity of mind to act the same way and i wish i did.

it lasted a few months and then i fell back into my usual mental patterns and old habits, which I'm definitely not proud of, but i really do believe that even tho i keep telling myself that i went back to therapy because i needed an ocd diagnosis and someone to help me manage it (which is something that was and still is definitely very real), i actually needed to know i was working in a direction where i could, someday, be at least well enough to be there for my friends when they need me. because i fear that, right now, I'm not. and it's not fair to them to always have to second guess if they can call me or not when they need a shoulder to lean on, especially when tragedies like that happen. i want to be able to give them my undivided attention, not to have to fight against my brain to be able to barely have the energy to listen to them.

it was weird to listen to this album and realise that I can (in my own personal way, i dont want it to sound like i know the exact same pain h experienced cause i didn't go through the same things she did) relate to both of the points of view. my chronic illness is not nearly as debilitating as what she had to go through, but in my tiny way I've been both the 'heavy heart' that's 'too much to hold' and the one that wanted to try to be there for someone else and couldn't because of my own issues. and I swear im trying so hard to not repeat the same mistakes. im far from perfect, but I'm trying to show up more for the people that i love.

I'm not the kind of person that needs to do something big with their life or to give meaning to it etc, but i do need to know that it's worth it, that the bad parts are balanced by something positive. and, right now, i still dont know how to hope for things, cause a future is still not a concept i feel comfortable in yet. if i have to be completely honest i never pictured myself getting this far, but now that I'm here i might as well try to *actually* be here, at least for the people i care about. I can't do that if i dont start seriously working on things i avoided for ten years, and grief plays a huge part in this because spoiler: no matter how much time it passes, it still hurts.

i wish 13yo me didn't shut down completely and was able to process things instead, but apparently it's a job for 23yo me. i still need to fully accept that it is ok to miss my dad now even if i didn't let myself feel it for years, but i'm getting there. i have a million questions for him and I'll never get the answers. i still have to learn how to deal with it. this record hit like a ton of bricks.

so once again, after saving my ass with both badlands and manic at the most perfect time, h art came in at the right moment. i feel like something in me changed after listening to this album, exactly in the same way i felt in february. i felt my perspective shift again, for the better. I hope it'll last.

i might not be able to stitch my brain back together as fast as I'd like to, this shit will take time. i still have to fully convince myself that i can use the word 'will' instead of 'could' because i still dont really believe I'll make it lol, but one step at a time. I'm tired as fuck, but I'm trying.

i'm just so glad that i can do it while listening to the great impersonator. i needed this record so bad, it's unbelievable how someone who doesn't even know me is always able to give me exactly what i need when i need it. I'll forever be grateful for what she did and keeps doing for me through her music. this album means so much more than I'll ever be able to express

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on a Grosse Pointe Garden Society with some gender-social-commentary and where I spent half the time just noticing everyone's style on fleek (pardon my lateness, playing catch-up as my mom watches Equalizer at the same time so I'm glad it's moving to Fridays)

that is freakishly blue

gotta love a Michigan reference

that's a less jarring "flashforward blue"

is someone going to make some weird meta about all the implied in-universe brands that have names of time periods

going for some metaphorical motifs here are we

uh oh shit going down

my OCD-like symptoms are freaking out at the "as is" thing, I didn't think that was the commemorative urn

what's going on with the music

kid, where did you hear some of that

episode 2 and shit's started getting complicated

Alice can actually pull off the pattern-matching and I kinda want that

and I would wear something like Birdie's if it was a little longer (like the top style/pattern and the overalls combo with it)

and Birdie keeps reminding me of Tahani

says something about the engrossingness of the story that I didn't freak out at incorrect Detroit reference the way I did at e.g. the Leverage oops with Oklahoma's capital

pointlessly-gendered-ness go brr

could tell that was gonna happen and same freaky musical cue again

more gender commentary

and we have a (or at least another) villain

Birdie in another cute outfit

really we're going there

jeezus how many murder weapons

glad they didn't have to explain the blood but she still noticed

do all the ladies just dress really well

and another bun in the oven

that's one way to play the game

half expecting "it's called a hustle, sweetheart"

ok now this outfit (Alice's with the black flowered top and purple pants) is my favorite so far

I saw that slick move with the photo of you-know-who

don't do that kind of search to a boy's room

of course he got that idea from Alice getting caught with her hand in the underwear drawer

don't trust a shoe salesman

I like the tree stuff on the tree idea

of course she brings up obvious-seeming-ship

not what I thought it was going to be and another little twisty thread

so that's why he's being sympathetic

that's one way to get ashes scattered

so many truth bombs getting dropped

I guess he went both approaches about the family tree

ok so what exactly is Alice implying here but we found the handgun

[maaarrryyy]

heeeyyy marsssszzzz

Omg this is so crazy that i was able to log into my old tumblr aka this one lol. Is there a way to merge them i wonder? I could always just link both somewhere. I say somewhere bc I don't have instagram and i don't think i want to link my blog on facebook because i have a lot of family on there and I don't even think they would read my thoughts but who knows right lol.

Anyway, I have been kind of down lately and well yeah!! I guess, are my expectations too high? Am I high maintenanced? Yes I am. Maybe even a little OCD?? I have some issues that are only self diagnosed but I can see myself from outside my body sometimes almost like 3rd person and some stuff doesn't seem like an unreasonable reason to be upset.

It's actually a repeated pattern and it makes me so sad when I think about it every time because how is someone that is supposed to be close to me and love me, not helping me or by my side. Repeatedly.

In that same way I am also repeatedly doing my own type of bad habits. I know that. I know I am a red flag. We all are honestly. We just pick and choose and for me well an example is that I would be so psycho if baby boy talked to women at work lmaoooooooo to the point where they want to hang out. I would be like helllll nawwwww. Not today, tomorrow, eVERRR. lol. I think every thing is also situational. I say that but there are plenty of women I don't mind him talking to. It is just getting through the evil lingering thoughts.

We can only get better but maybe for now I will just use this time to breathe and pour into me. I say OCD because I get upset over things not being tidy when it is completely out of my control lol. It will put me in a bad mood and I am trying to do better. I will do better.

I haven't typed out anything in almost a year and that is also sooooooo crazy!!!!! Maybe I will just post pics on my other account and keep this one like this because I will spend time scrolling through my own account to remember who I used to be. <333

I think imma switch to manual mode and journal now lol so peace and blessings marsbars!! Show up for you. Keep being you. You are 1 of 1. ;) <333

Love youuuuuuuuu

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Long, rambling post about relationship anxiety and OCD under the read-more

For some reason my brain has been making me think more and more about breaking up with my partner recently. This started maybe late summer this year, and it’s driving me insane because I love them very much and I want to be with them and I wish I would stop having thoughts about breaking up with them at the slightest provocation.

I’ve determined that they’re essentially intrusive thoughts and I won’t get anywhere by ruminating on it, because every time I ruminate it entrenches the thought pattern further and further into my brain. It’s hard to let go of it though because I feel strongly that I shouldn’t string them along or stay in a relationship too long if it’s not good for me. But I do want to be in a relationship with them, it’s just all this bullshit my brain makes me obsess over because of my attachment issues or OCD or whatever the hell else.

One of the main culprits of this dumb thinking is that phrase ‘do you like them as well as love them?’ It’s actually the bane of my existence at this point because loving someone and liking them are pretty inextricable to me. I understand the point of the phrase is that people will stay with someone they don’t mesh with because of being in love with them but I find it impossible to determine if that’s what’s happening with me. Partly because I knew my partner since we were 13 and they used to be kind of annoying, lol. They freely admit this and have changed a great deal, to be honest we both have. It’s just they still sometimes do things that remind me of how they used to act and my brain jumps on it and goes ‘see? You don’t like them because you didn’t used to like them and now they’re doing something that reminds you of that.’ Which is incredibly stupid logic. Everyone I know annoys me sometimes and it’s only going to get more pronounced the closer I get to someone. Also it’s the most minuscule things that they agree they need to work on so like. What.

And the reasons I love them are things I like about them. I don’t really see how you could be in love with someone without liking things about them. I think it’s just that the way I’m wired I have to know someone really well before I fall in love with them, like it’s really slow for me. But it’s pretty much one and the same so if I ask myself ‘what do I like about them?’ the answers are the same as the answers to ‘what do I love about them?’ and my brain tries to convince me that that means I don’t like them even though that makes no sense.

Maybe I’m just too autistic for that phrase but the way it’s jammed into my brain has really been a thorn in my side. I think the annoying thing is that my abandonment issues make me sometimes want to break up with them because I’m scared they’ll leave me so I can avoid that by leaving them first. Also my OCD likes to attach itself to anything I really care about because it knows that’ll upset me the most. I think I need to put a moratorium on obsessing about this for a while, like I have with the sexuality OCD.

With that I’ve stopped obsessing over it altogether because I realised that despite the fact I’ve ruminated on it probably hundreds of times now, I’ve never reached a satisfying conclusion that I’m 100% certain of. If the other hundred times haven’t worked, what makes me think that I’ll crack the case by ruminating this time? I think this is pretty much the same. The telltale sign of rumination for me is that it feels like scratching an itch to get rid of anxiety but it just makes the itch worse in that weird pain-pleasure way. (I think I’ve had too many mosquito bites in my life). And this train of thought definitely fits that. The more I can distance myself and live with the uncertainty of ‘maybe I should break up, maybe I shouldn’t. Either way I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it and ruminating doesn’t help’ the happier and more peaceful my brain will be.

And damn if I don’t love them a great deal. This kind of thinking hurts me so much because it makes me anxious to even think about them which is so awful cause I love thinking about them cause I love them! I was reading this article about when you should break up with someone (internet research is another telltale sign of OCD rumination for me) and it mentioned that if you can’t see yourself growing old with them, that’s a bad sign. And I realised that growing old with them is one of the things I want most for my future and I just got this great sense of peace thinking of them and I being old and married and having faced all of life together and being happy and close to each other and I was like damn. I think I do want to stay with them lol (understatement).

Anyway thanks for listening to my long, rambling post that should’ve been a diary entry but Lord knows my tumblr is more my diary these days. Also I did write about this in my diary and it was still bugging me so it’s good to get it out here. If anyone wants to give me any advice I’d also be happy to hear it! You guys have been along for the ride of my relationship pretty much from the start which is kinda cool :-) Well, I’ll stop rambling now.

[awetistic-things]

hello! I believe im autistic but I don’t have a special interest. I don’t have any specific 1 thing that im completely passionate about. I mean, maybe psychology but isn’t that too broad? idk. I need to consult someone autistic themselves bc im a minor and I can’t get a therapist and probably can’t convince my parents to get me a diagnosis. my mother thinks I just have high anxiety and ocd. I definitely have dermatillamania though. here’s some of my symptoms:

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts; I go nonverbal when I’m anxious/stressed/in a social situation where I’m being forced to talk to or interact w someone.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities; i do really like sameness but I’m also super impulsive and love changing thing up that don’t have a lot of value to me. for example I would go on a trip to Chicago rn with my friends if I had the means and they wanted to but I’m not changing the way I write my notes or cleaning my room

I have a hard time understanding figurative language and kind of obsessively overanalyze most things that I don’t understand

maybe it’s a mix of me being weird, ocd, and high anxiety that’s been present for my entire life and that I also can’t pinpoint the reason for. or maybe I’m autistic. I know you can’t diagnose a stranger on the internet from a couple paragraphs and I’m sorry if this is too much info.

I’m staying anonymous for my safety but my pronouns are they/it!

hi!

okay, so for starters i'm just gonna share with you some of the articles that helped me essentially start me on my journey of "oh shit i'm autistic" and my own two cents for each statement you made

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social interaction:

What Is Social Interaction In Autism - AutismTalkClub.com

i personally relate to the "non-verbal" part of what you said. I tend to lose the ability to speak whenever i am overwhelmed due to environmental factors (senses being overstimulated), but there are many other reasons (sometimes due to masking)

being overwhelmed in social situations is really easy for me personally. mainly because of sesnory issues, masking, resisting the urge to stim, etc and this can set me off into having meltdowns among other things

--------

repetitive behaviors:

Restrictive and Repetitive Behavior | Kennedy Krieger Institute

having a schedule is really important to a lot of people on the spectrum, it can help create some calmness in constant chaos

but, sometimes (such as myself) it is nice to be spontaneous and just do random shit without planning or a schedule or anything

so although repetitive behaviors are an autistic thing, the flexibility can differ depending on the person (emphasize on its a *spectrum*)

---------

language misunderstandings:

Whose metaphor? Autism Spectrum Disorder and metaphorization (metnetscandinavia.com)

that metaphor doesn't necessarily make sense to me, but just in case it makes sense for you there it is

about overanalyzing i totally get that. something I've noticed is that autistic people tend to question "basic" rules and social hierarchies so becoming obsessed with asking "why?' questions is very relatable to say the least

i dont really struggle that much with more everyday metaphors and I love analogies, but once again its a spectrum and I still very much need tone tags to avoid misunderstandings between both parties

-------

the way i figured out i was autistic was through research, research, research. at first I thought that meant clinical studies and such but it also means learning from the community itself, so its cool that you thought to do that (I wish I thought of that immediately)

also about how you don't really have ONE thing for a special interest, that's something normal from what I've seen. you don't have to know everything about something to have it be a special interest. you don't have to have known about it for years or an extremely long period of time. its really an individual thing for how you view hyperfixations and sp.ins (special interests). so, if you think that psychology is a sp.in of yours, then its a sp.in. its really up to you

all the things i sent you arent to diagnose you, but involving yourself in the community, researching a lot, or calling yourself/self-diagnosining yourself as autistic is okay. its perfectly okay. i know you said that because of your age and your parents you arent able to get a diagnosis at this time, but don't let that stop you from finding out more (even if its not with a therapist or your parents) about autism and essentially about who you are

im always free to dm, so please reach out to me if you want to talk (doesn't have to be just about autism) :) /gen (also my discord server for autistic people is linked in my pinned post if you wanna check it out)

[laconic-nightmares]

hii im the intrusive thoughts anon. could you explain like, more further why it wouldn't work? what it feels like? what its like for the shard of me that is shouldering the thoughts? I don't mean to argue I just want to know more truly why it's not a horrible last resort I can pursue, considering the dire circumstances.

a large part of the problem is the nature of intrusive thoughts and ocd itself. while it is true that people with OCD do tend to have stronger and more common intrusive thoughts than people without it, the main problem is that your brain has locked itself into a pattern of thought > reaction > compulsion. a lot of people think the issue is the triggering thought, but it is actually the reaction and resulting compulsion that are the issue. without changing how you react, very little is going to change. our entire system continues to have intrusive thoughts but only a couple of us are particularly affected by them.

another problem is that intentional splitting/creation of headmates in order to give them certain roles/traits/personalities is... difficult, and they never turn out exactly as you 'plan' for them to. hell, cyneric and caim were supposed to be the same headmate and their personalities turned out like water and oil, and i never expected zathrian to be so aggressively possessive.

as for what it would feel like for the one taking on the thoughts, frankly caim isn't actually bothered by the violent thoughts that were given to it at the time, but the ocd adapted and decided to go for things that do bother it and we're having to work out how to deal with having sexual intrusive thoughts basically constantly when it's out because it's sex repulsed so of course the thoughts would go there

the issue i brought up in that other post was more specifically about the fact that you wanted to repress that part of yourself if you split it off. for this i suppose i will put it the way i did to a different system's host who was struggling with most of their alters being persecutors at the time;

imagine being a thinking, conscious being with your own wants and needs, but being locked away in someone else's head. you have no one to talk to, not even the one person who even knows you exist will actually acknowledge you or what you want. how would you feel in that position? it is not surprising for resentment to grow under such conditions

i would not necessarily discourage you trying to become a system if all other avenues of help are outside of your grasp at this point in time. specific OCD informed therapy with a good therapist is obviously the best case scenario, but it's also pretty rare to get ahold of, and i recognize that many of the other options are either impossible to get or risk making things worse.

but if you start off your relationship with the mind you want to bring into the world by antagonizing them, it will likely cause the both of you more pain than if you hadn't. at the least in terms of harm reduction my advice would be to show both them and yourself as much kindness as you can, to build a relationship on companionship and help for each other rather than for them to simply shoulder your burdens in silence

the only other thing i want to say is to remind you that these thoughts are not who you are. they do not dictate your morals, your actions, the safety of the people around you or anything about you other than just the fact you have them. i know it's kinda the whole point of them that that is hard to believe, but it is still true.

i know this is hard, i know it sucks so much shit, and i'm sorry you're struggling with this. you deserve peace and kindness, no matter what this illness tells you otherwise.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

How does your ideal girlfriend look like? What's your type?

I always find this questions so hard to answer!! Because like on paper I know what to say, but then attraction doesn’t always follow patterns you know? Sometimes someone can fit everything you are typically into and you won’t be attracted to them, and then other times someone who you think won’t be your type at all is suddenly the most attractive person out there! So I mean take this with a grain of salt I guess. Because while I definitely gravitate more towards casual/tomboy/androgynous women I can be and have been attracted to super feminine women as well! Heck, I made this account because I had feelings for a woman who was very very very feminine and I needed a place to vent about them ahaha.

I’ll go with personality first because I think that’s really important!

- someone kind. Like genuinely emotional intelligence is so important to me. I don’t like being around people who are needlessly mean.

- I’m a pretty indecisive person so someone who doesn’t mind being a bit more confident and just like yes okay we are doing this - but also I’m saying that I want to know that my thoughts and opinions are valued too.

- someone who is able to tell me when I’ve stuffed up or that she doesn’t want to do something. With my OCD being as severe as it is I need to have faith that the person I’m with can feel comfortable enough to say no I don’t want to do that or could you please not do that.

- I wouldn’t say it’s a deal breaker but a woman instantly becomes more attractive to me if we share hobbies. If we both like manga/anime, or books etc, even if not the same ones , I really like that. Because I get excited to talk about those interests with someone !

- I can handle a little bit of bogan, but for some reason I’m just not attracted to SUPER SUPER bogan ways of talking so I guess a no for that aha.

- someone who is okay being a bit more of homebody

- someone not super angry or argumentative. I like being able to meet in the middle and resolve things calmly without anger or yelling. Just a nice sit down trying to best figure out the solution together.

- not all the time super sarcastic but I find it really nice when I can joke around a bit with a lady. I feel like I’m more sarcastic then people first think and I can muck around a bit. So someone that has that too would be nice.

Now for appearances!

- I’m a really really snuggly person. If she’s bigger and or taller then me in any way (even if it’s only a tiny bit) I find that really attractive.

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HAPPY TRAILS!! Happy trails are so so hot to me aha. Like for the most part I don’t really mind what a woman does with her body hair, but a woman who is just ashamed of it is very attractive to me.

- not perfect teeth but nice teeth are always a plus! Because it can make for a very beautiful smile and I love to see it.

- I feel like I’m really into short hair generally but honestly there are so many women that can also pull of that tomboy long hair look and I love it.

- also this is just an OCD thing on my part , but I get a lot of heightened sensitivity to sensory things because of it, and stuff like metal is a big one for me. I find piercings super attractive but I don’t know how I would kissing a woman who has like mouth piercings or a tongue piercing. It’s really hot to look at but I feel like my sensory issues would just not handle it. But I’ve never been in that situation so who knows.

- I love when women where cable knit sweaters!! That whole grandpa aesthetic is cool. Though if she has the cool fashion choices of an anime boy that’s honestly great too.

That’s honestly all I can think of from the top of my head! But like as I said it’s really really general. I can find lots of different kinds of women attractive. I feel like I am a bit picky sometimes and I worry that maybe I’m superficial because I get angry at myself if I’m not attracted to a woman. But I feel like that’s a general outline aha. Sorry if I didn’t make any sense though!

Thank you for the question and I hope you have a beautiful day ☺️💕💕

[thebellekeys]

My experience living with both OCD and OCPD

Summer of this year, I was officially diagnosed with OCD and OCPD after suffering from it since I was born and also after being misdiagnosed 3 times over the last four years. See, the reason I'm making this post is mainly because, besides my psychiatrist and close family members and like, one specific friend, I don't really talk about it because, well, I function well, but after coming to terms with the fact that the thing living in my head since I was a child wasn't a sign of inherent wrongness in me and was an actual mental disorder, I just feel so much relief.

My psychiatrist considers my OCD to be quite chronic, and I agree. When I was about 5 or 6, I remember that's when the counting started - repeatedly counting the window panes in different patterns and the little circles on the calendars that represent each day, and when I was about 9 or 10, that's when I'd have to use the time on the digital clock to find the product of all the pairs of numbers available before the time changed. Then I'd repeat and repeat and repeat for hours at a time, thinking it was normal. I just had to count and tally and repeat to scratch the itch. To put the chaos of my psyche "in order". At about 12, that's when the intrusive thoughts started (of religious and existential nature) and then that's also when the phrases of affirmation started, those that I'd repeat in my head for hundreds of times a day to "wash away" the wrong thoughts that made me feel guilty and horrible. When I was 14, that's when I started double-reading content and double-checking every new thought and idea that entered by head to make sure I wasn't "missing anything" or "doing anything wrong" and when I was 15, the checking of my somatic functions started (checking my breathing, my bladder, my muscles, causing insomnia). I essentially had to do checks and balances on my thoughts, kind of like putting every thought and sensation in its own little drawer. I felt like I needed to do it even when it bothered me, to, again, just organize everything or else the doom would come. When I was about 16, that's when the first characteristics of OCPD started to appear with my need for perfectionism - not in terms of my image, but rather, attention to detail and productivity and unwavering rigidness. Yes, it's very possible to have both OCD and OCPD even though a couple aspects of them actually work against each other in nature. As for the skin-picking, that has always been very intense for as long as I could remember, and I still do it now. I have a few allocated spots on my body I strategically designed for picking.

A doctor first diagnosed me with anxiety and put me on low-dose zoloft and xanax even though I was pretty sure it wasn't anxiety I had, back when I was 17. Then another time he said it was GAD again and put me on low-dose zoloft and klonopin. Didn't work that time either. Then the final time the same GP fibally said it was OCD and changed up my subscription to paxil and xanax but "wasn't sure", so I referred myself to a private psychiatrist and told the whole story to him. As I had done with my previous doctor several times, actually. He diagnosed me with OCD as well as OCPD after I spelled everything out for him. As of now, I'm on paxil and klonopin and I'm doing much, much better. Despite being medicated for 4 years straight, I'm actually doing much better with this specific medication combination, and I'm finally happy that, despite being medicated and diagnosed wrongly 3 times, things are working out. I needed to be aware of what disorder I had and make my own efforts at doing ERP in order for the medication to work- there's no one size fits all for mental disorders, and my misdiagnoses only ever made actual treatment elusive in the past.

I guess what's been so cathartic is that the monsters in my head finally have a name and a face. The cause of my OCD and later on, my OCPD, are purely genetic and self-induced. It's inherited from my dad's side of the family, we learnt, after exploring my father's family's medical history.

"You are in every line I have ever read".

I hate to sully Dickens, but one of his most beautiful lines of prose is what my OCD has felt like: it has permeated through every facet of my being and personality without my understanding for 19 and a half years. It's difficult for me to separate my mental disorder and personality disorder from me, since I was essentially born with the OCD, kept it a secret from the public, and got so used to medication from a young age that's it's second nature to pop a few somethings at night. I mean, in a way it is intrinsically linked to me, but I'm working on separating the two. It'd be unfair to deny the depths to which these disorders have affected me, especially because it's my Big Secret. I've spent my whole life struggling with the rumination cycles, the itch that's constantly begging to be scratched, and the futile attempts to stop the obsessions by giving into a compulsion that, in turn, only makes the obsession stronger. I have suffered from and am still suffering from rumination OCD (Pure-O), scrupulosity OCD, and milder contamination OCD as well. But I'm improving day by day, fusing my religion, familial support, and my medication into a system that I can rely on for mental peace, healing, and growth. Through my darkest times, I've actually discovered some of the best things about myself and some truths that I needed to acknowledge.

But I just wanted to say that after my experiences, it's important to seek professional help for the things in your head. It's important to get several opinions on your conditions. It's important to be honest with yourself and to talk to the people you trust. You can't deal with sickness as if you're a lone island. To work through your disorders takes time, medication, support, and oftentimes, therapy. You need to look after your health and acknowledge the state of mental health, and if it's one thing I've learned? Sabr is essential. Qadr is real. Le temps détruit tout. Things get better with time, as nothing lasts forever. There's always an opportunity to heal and grow.

(no reblogs please)

[emiefaunwrites]

Heyyy Emie!! I know this isn’t an hc request, but I’m a little curious to know what are some of your favorite hcs that you’ve written? Or if you don’t really have favorites, what are some of the headcanons that you’ve enjoyed writing the most?

Heyyy!

Oooh I have a couple other asks outstanding but this was too interesting to ignore! Thank you for asking!

So it really depends on what counts as a favourite. There's headcanons I've found really funny and fun to write. There's also those that I find really sad or sweet. I can't really differentiate which ones would count as my absolute favourites so I'll just put a list (quite long probably haha) and why I enjoy it. Hope thats okay?

So the funny ones I like these:

Leon's Rapping Career - this was an INCREDIBLE ask and it made my brain go down so many rabbit holes. I can just picture poor Taka doing his best to listen to the shitty rapping and trying to learn it. I found it so fun!

First Time Drunk (Taka Edition) and Stag Do's - I mean. Drunk Taka is like my favourite. I totally HC him as being hella flirty drunk and very forward. And that's always fun to write. I keep trying to find ways to bring more drunk Taka into my life but not found it yet haha!

Kissing Practice - this is another case of forward Taka controlling my brain. I LOVE the idea that the floodgates open following his first kiss and that he puts 100% into each kiss...and it being really freaking slobbery. Poor Taka...poor Leon...haha!

So then there's the sweet ones:

Valentine's Day Surprise for Taka - I mean how could I not love this? As a kid I NEVER got a Valentine's Day card and I was called all the same things Taka calls himself. So I suppose I was channeling my own wishes through this for our best boy.

The Proposal - I MEAN! ITS THE PROPOSAL! Enough said really...but I loved the idea of a perfectly planned proposal just feeling wrong in the moment and the actual proposal just happening naturally. So yeah. This was lovely to write.

Wedding Day - I MEEEEAN! ITS THEIR WEDDING! Very little to explain about this apart from it was wonderful to remember a wedding again and relive the emotions I felt.

Piano Recital (Kei Edition) - I think this could genuinely be a legit favourite. I just can see it play in my head and think about it every time I listen to the song. And yeah. I just fucking love this one. So so much.

And finally there's the sad/angsty ones:

Night Terrors - so this is a favourite of mine since it's something I'll be incorporating into my main fic. And it's become such an integral part to Leon in both this and Broken Arrow. So this really hits me in the feels.

Leon's First Crush - this is another thing that hits me hard because of my main fic. A different variant of this is going into Broken Arrow and explains a lot of things about how I feel Leon became the boy he presents himself as outwardly. So this is definitely a big one for me.

OCD - this slightly links to my main fic but only slightly. I've always thought of numbers and patterns meaning a lot to Taka and once I was asked I kind of felt it be a big part of Taka. I've been thinking of maybe doing a few more posts on his OCD at some point but I'm hanging on until I'm either asked or it feels right.

Close Call (Takaaki Edition) - Ah this just hit me in the feels. I HC Takaaki as a great dad and so to imagine Taka hurting so bad because of this close call was really sad. It's also where I started thinking how his OCD would flare up in stress so multiple reasons for this.

I hope this was insightful? I'm loving this little world that you and my followers have helped me create and I hope I'll be able to keep it going!

[g00by3]

hey so my current health teachers mental health cirriculum sucks (i cant spell) so i made a list of most mental health disorders w info on each one. i plan on sending it to her but first i wanna check: is there any edits i should make? is there any misinformation or things i left out? pls let me know!! (paper below the cut):

Mental Health Disorders

Mental health disorders are a range of disorders that alter one's way of thinking, functioning, moods, and behavior. These disorders are often stigmatized but education about definitions and breaking down common misconceptions can help break the stigma. Breaking the stigma can help individuals get help while struggling with any of these disorders.

Trigger Warning for in-depth discussion of mental illness

Depression

Depression is a mental health disorder characterized through constant feeling of sadness, hopelessness, and general loss of interest in hobbies. These feelings impact your day to day life.

Types of depression include:

Major Depression/MDD (Major Depressive Disorder)- The technical term used by health professionals to describe the most common form of depression.

Manic Depression [Bipolar Disorder]- Bipolar Disorder was previously known as manic depression, and the term manic depression is outdated. The term “Bipolar disorder” was released in the DMS-3.

Seasonal Depression/SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)- A mood disorder with a seasonal pattern. The cause is believed to be due to the variation of light exposure in different seasons. Depression in winter is the most common form of SAD.

Psychotic Depression- A disconnect from reality due to a depressive condition, which can involve hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc.

Anxiety

GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder is a disorder in which a person exhibits excessive anxiety most days, for at least 6 months, about a variety of things. This worrying impairs daily functioning. Anxiety can be related to a plethora of things such as health, social interactions, work/school, etc.

Types of anxiety include:

Panic Disorder- A type of anxiety disorder in which a person has recurring panic attacks. A panic attack are periods of extreme anxiety, often including increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, and other physical reactions.

Social Anxiety- Anxiety towards social or performance situations. People with social anxiety worry about how others will perceive them or their actions, which often causes them to avoid social situations.

Separation Anxiety Disorder- A disorder commonly seen in children (while still possible to occur in adulthood) in which an individual has anxiety about being separated from people they have an attachment towards.

PTSD

A type of anxiety disorder caused by experiencing, or witnessing a traumatic event. PTSD stands for “post-traumatic stress disorder.” In the World Wars it was known as “shell shock” and “combat fatigue” among the soldiers. Can be caused by a variety of things, such as war, death of a loved one, violence, abuse of any kind, natural disasters, car accidents, etc. Not everyone who goes through something traumatic develops PTSD though, as everyone’s brain works and processes things differently. PTSD includes symptoms of nightmares, flashbacks, body memories, etc.

C-PTSD or “Complex-PTSD” is a specific type of PTSD. This disorder occurs when trauma is long-lasting and repeating.

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are a group of disorders characterized by severe and persistent disturbance in eating behaviors as a way to alter one’s weight and/or physical appearance.

Common types of eating disorders include:

Anorexia Nervosa- Individuals who struggle with this disorder often restrict their calorie or food intake, or carefully manage what they eat as a means to lose weight. Some people may also purge through the use of laxatives or self-induced vomiting, may over-exercise, and/or may binge eat. The distinction between “atypical” and “typical” anorexia is harmful and unnecessary as both are dangerous and cause the same amount of psychological as well as medical damage.

Bulimia Nervosa- A disorder in which an individual binge eats, or consumes large amounts of food in a short period of time, followed by purging.

BED (Binge-Eating Disorder)- A person with this disorder consumes large quantities of food in a small period of time, often to the point of discomfort, and experiences negative emotions in regards to it afterwards. These emotions include shame, guilt, or distress.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)- When an individual meets many, but not all, of the diagnostic criteria of anorexia and bulimia.

DID

DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder is a disorder caused by repeated childhood trauma before the age of 7-9, which is when a child’s ego state is supposed to integrate but is unable to do so due to this disorder. It is described as the presence of two or more dissociative identities, or alters, with amnesia between them. People with this disorder are known as “systems” and alters are all individual identities. Previously known as MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) until 1994, DID affects approximately 1% of the population worldwide.

OSDD (Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder), previously known as DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) until the DSM-5’s release in 2013, is a disorder therapists may diagnosis when a patient experiences distressing dissociative symptoms that impair daily functioning, but don’t meet the full criteria for another dissociative disorder. OSDD-1 is a dissociative disorder that serves as a catch-all for individuals with symptoms that do not perfectly align with diagnostic criteria for another dissociative disorder.

The two types of OSDD-1 are:

OSDD-1a- A type of dissociative disorder in which alters are present but less distinguished and cannot “front” (take control of the body), but can passively influence one another. Amnesia is also present.

OSDD-1b- Distinct alters are present, can front, but there is no reported amnesia.

Other types of OSDD are:

OSDD-2- Derealization (feeling as though reality, or one’s surroundings aren’t real) without depersonalization (feeling disconnected from one’s body, thoughts, mind, memories, etc).

OSDD-3, OSDD-4, OSDD-5- Similar to DID symptoms, but due to brainwashing, dissociative trace, Ganser syndrome, etc.

OSDD-6- A dissociative disorder in which symptoms are unclear.

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which extreme mood swings with acute highs and drastic lows occur. This condition was known as manic depression until 1980. A manic episode is when a person with bipolar experiences increased euphoria, motivation, and hyperactivity, a decreased need for sleep, and oftentimes experiences feelings of being “godlike” or invincible. Manic episodes can also lead to impulsive behavior.

There are two types of bipolar disorder:

Bipolar I- At least one manic episode has occurred, with hypomanic and major depressive episodes occurring as well.

Bipolar II- At least one depressive episode and hypomanic episode. but a manic episode has never occurred.

OCD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a disorder in which a person gets stuck in a pattern of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are intrusive thoughts that trigger negative feelings that are intense and distressing. Compulsions are behaviors that a person with OCD partakes in to control these intrusive thoughts, or manage their distress. OCD is beyond just wanting to be clean or needing everything to be symmetrical- it is an exhausting disorder that negatively impacts one’s daily life.

ADHD

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, and is characterized by symptoms of hyperactivity, difficulty paying attention, and impulsivity, all of which impact an individual negatively in two or more settings. ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) was a term used to describe individuals with symptoms of ADHD minus the hyperactivity, but as of the release of the DSM-5, it is an outdated term.

Body Dysmorphia

This is a mental health disorder in which a person fixates on a flaw in their appearance to the point where it is distressing and may cause a person to avoid social situations. Oftentimes this flaw seems minor, or even nonexistent to others, but to a person with body dysmorphia, it is anxiety-inducing.

Gender Dysphoria

Severe psychological distress due to an incongruence between one’s gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Seen in lots of transgender individuals, but not all.

Psychotic Disorders

A kind of mental health disorder that impacts one’s mind and mode of thinking. These disorders often cause a disconnect from reality.

Types of psychotic disorders include:

Schizophrenia- A person with schizophrenia experiences changes in behavior, hallucinations, and delusions, all lasting longer than 6 months. These symptoms often affect the person in their daily life or relationships.

Schizoaffective Disorder- Symptoms of both schizophrenia and a mood disorder can be an indicator of schizoaffective disorder.

Delusional Disorder- A disorder in which an individual experiences a delusion (a belief that is held, but false) involving a real-life situation that isn’t true. Examples are: being followed, having a disease, and being plotted against. This delusion must be at least one month long. The five primary types of delusions are: mood or atmosphere, perception, memory, ideas, or awareness.

Personality Disorders

A personality disorder is a type of mental health disorder where an unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning, and behaving occurs. This causes significant problems in an individual's life.

Types of personality disorders include:

BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)- A mental health disorder with symptoms of: intense fear of abandonment, a pattern of unstable intense relationships, distorted sense of self/identity, dissociation, impulsive and risky behavior, suicidal threats or threats of self-harm, intense mood swings, inappropriate anger, and chronic emptiness.

ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder)- A disorder identified by patterns of disregarding or violating other’s emotions or wellbeing. A person with ASPD may not conform to societal norms, may lie or manipulate others, or act impulsively.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)- A pattern of demands for admiration and/or a lack of empathy for others. A person with this personality disorder may view themselves as superior, expect to be worshipped or treated as above all else, or feel entitled to whatever their heart desires.

Avoidant Personality Disorder- A disorder characterized by being extremely shy, sensitivity to criticism, poor self-esteem, and feeling anxiety towards the way they are perceived.

OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder)- Similar to OCD, as both have obsessions with rituals, habits, and cleanliness, but distinctly different. OCPD is a pattern of absorption in cleanliness, control, perfection, and schedules.

Paranoid Personality Disorder- A disorder in which a person is suspicious of others and their motives, seeing them as evil or bad. A person with this disorder may believe people are out to get them, or hurt them, or lie to them, and may avoid confiding in others due to this paranoia.

Histrionic Personality Disorder- A pattern of attention seeking and strong emotions. A person with this disorder will take extreme measures to be the center of attention, such as alter their appearance or act out.

Schizoid Personality Disorder- A pattern of detachment from social relationships, and difficulty expressing emotion. A person with schizoid personality disorder often chooses to be alone, and doesn’t care what others' views on them are.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder- People with this disorder have a pattern of being uncomfortable in close relationships. have distorted thinking, or eccentric behavior. They may behave in ways that seem strange or believe odd things.

Substance Use Disorder/Drug Addiction

Substance Use Disorder is a disease that impacts a person mentally and physically, and affects nearly 21 million Americans. Drug addiction happens when a person is unable to control their use of a drug due to a variety of reasons, despite the harm it causes.

Conduct Disorder

A serious disorder in which a child/teen displays a pattern of disruptive or violent behavior, and has trouble obeying rules.

SOURCES:

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/depression#types-of-depression

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-complex-ptsd-2797491

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/eating-disorders/what-are-eating-disorders

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/anorexia

https://www.healthline.com/health/bulimia-nervosa

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/bed

https://www.dpt.nhs.uk/our-services/eating-disorders/what-is-an-eating-disorder/eating-disorder-symptoms/eating-disorder-not-otherwise-specified-ednos-symptoms

https://www.isst-d.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Fact-Sheet-IV-What-Are-the-Dissociative-Disorders_-1.pdf

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/dissociative-identity-disorder/dissociative-identity-disorder-did-statistics-and-facts

https://did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osdd

https://plurality-dictionary.fandom.com/wiki/OSDD-1a

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Other_specified_dissociative_disorder

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955

https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/index.html

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html

https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/add-adhd/difference-between-add-adhd

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria

https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/guide/mental-health-psychotic-disorders

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/delusions-types

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20370237

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/personality-disorders/what-are-personality-disorders

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/symptoms-causes/syc-20365112

https://www.addictioncenter.com/addiction/addiction-statistics/

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-conduct-disorder

also damn if you read all of this, hope ur ok lol

i literally just wrote this for fun in four hrs bc im hyperfixating on researching mental health disorders rn.

[crushaa]

Explaining the long break and how I got diagnosed with ADHD:

This is a post about mental health. There’s a TLDR at the bottom :) 

“Apply yourself, Cien. If you wanted to pass this class, you would be trying.” 

When I was 15, I got my tonsils out. I got the same kind of statement from a few friends and even family members; “Oh yeah, they used to take EVERYONE’S tonsils out! Even if they didn’t need it, it was the cure to everything. But now everyone’s got ADHD, so that’s the new trend.” 

Around the end of July 2019, I was running out of steam. I still had plenty of creative energy, but I couldn't understand why I wasn't able to work on anything anymore. The truth is that I knew I would hit another music block, and I wouldn't be surprised if anyone else expected it too. My posting history has always been very irregular, even back in high school with long unexplained breaks in between new songs. Knowing it would happen, I felt confident in my ability to tackle it and change my pattern of behavior.

I never thought it would last this long. With each month passing by I began to feel guiltier and guiltier, trying to find out why I couldn't do it. I'd sit in front of an empty FL Studio project for hours, and all my Paint Tool Sai canvases never had more than a few lines.  As the months went on, some pretty dramatic life events took place- various family deaths, 2 near death experiences myself, an abusive doctor. For whatever reason, I just could not recover. 

I used the tragedies as excuses as to why I couldn't do it. It would be reasonable to not be able to do anything. My antidepressants were definitely working for the first time in my life, but why couldn’t I work? I spent the New Year holiday feeling just as guilty and frustrated as ever…. I couldn’t do it anymore. I decided that I was going to go back to my doctors loaded with new theories and ideas as to what could possibly be wrong with me. It never occured to me to tell anyone I couldn’t write more than 2-3 songs in one year when it’s literally my job to write music. 

I began speculating the possibility of another psychiatric disorder, and that made me nervous. Would she think I was lying? Or faking it? I could no longer stand the treatment from the nurse practitioner who had been treating my psychiatric illnesses. I’d always been very uncomfortable with how she treated me, but she’d found the rare genetic disorder I had. I felt that I owed my progress to her and that I should stick it out. But I was still leaving her office in tears at the end of every session. An off color comment, passive aggressive reminders to take my medication, the feeling that I had no say in my own treatment plan… it was too much.  But she was the only one in town who was available to see me. So I went, and I was administered an MMPI by a psychiatrist in that same building. At the end of February, I’d get the results.  

The next appointment with her was the last time she’s ever going to see me. The results of the test had come in as inconclusive, and my world fell apart. She asked what I thought of the results, and I answered truthfully. I told her I was afraid that she saw me as a hypochondriac. 

“Well what if you are?” I didn’t answer. “Well, you are,” she went on with a cocky smile. 

She began to tell me it was my own fault. She told me I had brain damage. But it was fine, because she told me I could be treated for believing I was still sick. 

It affected me deeply, for days I couldn’t stop crying or eat a full meal. The guilt, frustration and embarrassment swallowed me whole; the problem was me. Of course I was making it up. I felt suicidal for the first time in 4 years. There was no point in trying anymore because I as a whole was defective. This world would be better off without a lost cause like me. 

I pulled myself out of this headspace for a while one day, and realized that a HEALTH CARE PROVIDER made me feel this way. 

WHERE WAS THE BRAIN SCAN, BITCH????

 All the guilt, embarrassment, shame- it morphed into a new red hot burning rage. I fired her immediately and revoked any permissions she had. I went to my primary care doctor and asked him to prescribe me my psychiatric medications while I looked for a new psychiatrist, to which he agreed. I asked him for an ADHD test, but he wasn’t comfortable doing it himself. He referred me to a psychiatrist with a 6 month waiting list who then tried to refer me to the abusive nurse practitioner. I set up the six month appointment wait and began to look into doctors in other towns.

On Monday, April 6th, I went to go see a different doctor for something completely unrelated and walked out with an ADHD (Inattentive type) diagnosis. And now less than a week later, everything about my life has changed. 7 long months of executive dysfunction came to an end in the 1 hour it took for the first half-pill to dissolve. Hot damn. 

It felt like everyone else in the world was allowed to use the sidewalk to get from place to place, but there was a rule that I had to dodge incoming traffic to get anywhere. Now, I can use the sidewalk too. I am relearning everything that I know. 

I am no longer ashamed that I have the GPA of a baked potato. I know that I am not lazy, I am not stupid, and this was NOT my own fault; I was sick and nobody knew. The signs were there, but how we view ADHD has changed entirely since I was a child! People still called it ADD. So why was it so hard to get diagnosed in this day and age?

The stigma has shifted into something far more dangerous than I’ve ever realized it was. I don’t hear “I have ADHD OO SHINY” jokes anymore, you know? We believe it to be a grossly overdiagnosed behavioral disorder meant to punish children for having a lot of energy. We wave it off, calling it the new tonsil removal surgery trend. Of the three types of ADHD; Predominantly Hyper-Impulsive, Predominantly Inattentive (that’s me!), and Combined Type; a mix of the two, there tends to be more stigmatized attention towards the hyper-impulsive type. We believe in what we see, breaking the first rule of mental illness: Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. 

This leaves those suffering from both inattentive type and combined type to rot. Attention deficiency itself doesn’t have much of a stigma because it isn’t even seen as having a seat at the ADHD table. This is catastrophic and will continue to destroy lives because people don’t feel hyper enough to even consider that they might have ADHD. In turn, those who are told to try harder, apply themselves, stop procrastinating, and to stop being so lazy do not receive the proper care they need. Those who suffer without treatment get worse over time; they lose confidence in themselves, they don’t start new things in fear of the inability to finish, they break promises to friends and family with the inability to follow through, damaging important relationships beyond repair. 

My confidence has been shattered. I was the artist who failed art class. College was never an option because I knew I’d go straight back to failing every class I took. I feel like I am a burden and the token “lost cause” of my family, the one everybody worries about because I’m not right in the head. I’ve grown to become a reclusive, bashful adult who struggles to make and answer phone calls and emails. ADHD devastated my life in deeper ways than my OCD, my PTSD, my anxiety or depression ever could. 

The number of diagnoses are going up because we can recognize it better. This is not a bad thing- science is evolving to show possible causes of the disorder itself. We know not to smoke while pregnant anymore, we know not to eat and drink high fructose corn syrup, we know not to sit in front of blue light screens all day, and we’ll continue to learn.

As soon as I started my medication, I was able to start taking care of myself and working again. The symptoms of my other mental illnesses began to let up, and I felt like a human being for the first time in my life. I have control over my own emotions- I can walk on the sidewalk with everyone else, I am free. 

However, it’s going to take the rest of my life to unlearn the methods I came up with to perform basic self-care functions. It will take many years to gain confidence in myself, to make phone calls without shaking or to even consider the thought of college, potato grades and all. But my mindset has transformed from “I can’t” to “Maybe I could try,” --a first for me. 

Question everything, don’t settle for the minimum, and don’t stop fighting. Thanks for reading this post. I'm hard at work on Propaganda part 2 and hope to post it on May 31st. See you then :-) 

TLDR: ADHD destroyed my life in ways my depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses never could. The stigma surrounding ADHD is shifting to become more dangerous than it has been in the past.  

We live in a society.

[lacecannon5]

Popularized Anxiety Condition In Adults.

Just How To Raise Depression Promptly And Securely.

Content

Support Web Links.

Might I Be Used Social Care Support?

Other Forms Of Therapy.

Chatting Treatments For Stress And Anxiety.

You may be assuming 'what a charming day' and also you could rejoice. Additionally, you could be assuming 'I want my partner was right here' and also feel depressing as a consequence. If you are rejoicing you may take a walk around the lake with a close friend as well as treat yourself to an ice-cream. If you are really feeling depressing and low you might leave the park and also go residence feeling upset with yourself. To find an exclusive, qualified as well as totally certified CBT therapist, browse through British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies. For lots of people it has actually been located to be a lot more handy than any various other kind of treatment, consisting of antidepressants. As soon as we approve that, we can learn to find these adverse ideas as they develop and after that obstacle as well as rethink them.

The Vicious Cycle type will aid you practice - document at the very least one circumstance everyday for the following few days. se the Self Assistance mp3 downloads to enhance treatment or as a stand-alone strategy. Generally, better degrees of cognitive impairment may make it harder to involve with CBT, nevertheless, it might be feasible to tailor CBT according to an individual's degree of functioning. Among the important things that I have actually been working with is establishing surveys that will certainly help us to comprehend which kind of CBT a specific individual living with mental deterioration may be most able to involve with. Like the remainder of the population, CBT is likely to benefit some individuals with mental deterioration and also not for others. Discover the signs as well as root causes of stress and anxiety, as well as possible methods to treat it for a person who is living with dementia. Envision that you are resting on a. bench in a park, you can listen to ducks quacking as well as water lapping in a nearby lake.

Assistance Links.

Effective conclusion of the training should gear up people to accomplish the abilities called for when checking out coming to be an independent CBT professionals. Our centers include a mock ambulance, which pupils can use as part of their studies, to aid replicate the person journey. This offers pupils the chance to discover in situations that mirror real life situations. An acclaimed college, we are committed to offering our students with the very best feasible experience. We remain to buy both our centers and also our cutting-edge technique to education and learning. Our trainees benefit from industry-relevant mentor, and also resources and support made to assist them be successful.

CBT can be delivered in correctional as well as area setups and is made use of for both adults and also young people. Admission to this course goes through satisfying wellness clearance, Disclosure and Preventing Solution checks and an effective meeting.

Might I Be Used Social Treatment Support?

Training visit are calculated on the basis of what it sets you back to educate each training course and also we go for complete economic openness. According to the National Wellness Service constitution we utilize a values-based recruitment approach in seeking candidates with the suitable worths to sustain efficient team working in delivering superb patient treatment. Demonstrate a capability to adapt CBT sensitively, and also to guarantee equitable gain access to for individuals from diverse societies as well as with different values. Practise as a 'scientist expert', progressing your understanding as well as understanding and creating new skills to a high degree. Take individual duty for professional choice making in uncomplicated and a lot more complex circumstances. The PgDip program is modular, supplied on a full time basis, as well as is supplied via a mix of college attendance, professional positioning activity, scientific guidance, and also access to on the internet discovering products.

Can you do CBT on yourself?

Many studies have found that self-directed CBT can be very effective. Two reviews that each included over 30 studies (see references below) found that self-help treatment significantly reduced both anxiety and depression, especially when the treatments used CBT techniques.

EU nationals need to have stayed in the UK and Islands for the 5 years before the beginning of their program. The function of that five year residency must not have actually been mainly for the function of getting full time education. EU nationals have to have lived in the European Economic Location or Switzerland for the 3 years prior to the beginning of their program. The purpose of that 3 year residency should not have been primarily for the purpose of getting full-time education and learning. EU nationals and also their relative beginning in the 2019/20 school year continue to be eligible for the exact same fees as house trainees and the exact same financial backing. Financial backing originates from Student Money England, as well as covers undergrad as well as postgraduate study for the duration of their program, providing they fulfill the residency demand. We satisfaction ourselves on offering affordable tuition charges which we evaluate on a yearly basis and provide a variety of scholarships to support students with their researches.

Various Other Types Of Therapy.

By approving your offer of an area and signing up with us, a Student Contract will be created in between you as well as the University.A duplicate of the 19/20 Agreement can be discovered below. The Agreement details your rights and the responsibilities you will be bound by during your time as a student and also consists of the obligations that the College will owe to you. You must check out the Contract before you accept a deal of a location as well as prior to you enlist at the University.

These array from our contemporary library and also computing centers to dedicated professions suggestions and also our remarkable Trainees' Union tasks. If you want a basic intro, without coursework or official analysis, consider our 8-day 'Intro to CBT' course (usually run 2-3 times each year). A brand-new openly offered video on how to deliver CBT for OCD utilizing remote working consisting of an introduction of formulation, theory AB as well as behavioural experiments. Postgraduate Certification in Cognitive Behavioural StudiesThis program aims to furnish researchers as well as professionals with knowledge of the versions as well as theories made use of in CBT therapy and also guidance. In training sessions, emphasis is placed on monitoring of CBT at work as well as on experiential discovering with participation in role-play and also various other useful workouts.

Several of our previous grads from our program have achieved success in gaining posts as CBT specialists in both primary and also second treatment services in the NHS, as well as third industry organisations. Some previous grads of this training course have actually also efficiently advanced to tackling managerial functions, monitoring posts and also teaching/training duties. On effective conclusion of this course this honor ought to give trainees with a strong foundation in cognitive-behavioural psychiatric therapy, as well as a chance to attempt and get a duty within the feld of mental.

CTB looks for to identify and afterwards change these adverse thought patterns for the better.

She has actually collaborated with clients throughout the life-span and also from a series of backgrounds, collaborating with common mental health problems such as anxiety and anxiousness.

CBT changed completely free of charge took a look at it and aided me approve what had actually occurred, not feel that it was my fault or anything like that-- that I wasn't as poor as I believed I was."

During CBT sessions, clients are taught to exercise alternative thought patterns that reduce adverse emotional consequences as well as their going along with self-destructive behaviors.

Cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to be as reliable as drug in dealing with some mental health and wellness problemsand it can certainly work for a large range of individuals with a wide variety of different problems.

Regrettably, much of these individuals are not fully aware of these believed patterns and also beliefs that fuel their harmful behaviors and bad psychological standing.

The course begins with a four-day training block adhered to by one full day per week over 2 terms. Professor Tom Buchanan bears in mind Professor Angus Hawkins, a historian of modern-day British national politics, the Victorian celebration system and also constitutional modification.