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#its HARD i can't focus on this at all
rapidhighway · 2 years
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I finally have a concept art class this semester and I've been so excited about it this is all I wanted and still i can't bring myself to do any work for it pls pls pls 😔
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sga-owns-my-soul · 3 months
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i'm this fucking close to walking out at work i fuckimg can't do this anymore
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cara-mel5 · 1 month
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christian hot take: the unforgivable sin is mentioned once in the entire Bible. can we please stop talking about it.
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yellowocaballero · 1 year
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I just finished your New Wave fic. I’m convinced everything your write is gold. I loved your TMA fics, with the most heartbreaking demon AU imaginable and the hilarity of Fahrenheit 101. I loved your moon knight fics, starting with Steven talking to animals on the reg at work to the system growing closer with a focus on Jake, i- there’s- it’s sooo much packed into it. When I’m on burnout, of art or writing (maybe life in general at times) I revisit your work and am thrown back into a creative headspace.
You are my favorite writer, you cram so much meaning and thought into your work and it shows. The characters are dumbasses and say the most ridiculous shit and turn around the next chapter and say the most thought provoking thing, and I don’t get whiplash from it because these characters just work! They just do, and I… am very much off track!
Anyways I just got into Batman and reading your fic is fueling that flame! I can’t wait to see what you have in store next, and I shall now stalk your blog for writing tips! I hope you have a nice day broski 💙
Thank you!! This is so sweet thank you so much! This ask is so nice!
Trust me, if there's meaning then it's because I get obsessive over these fics and I massively overthink them. I honestly wish I was better at making simpler, more elegant stories. I feel like nothing I do is truly going to be good until I can find that simplicity.
"Dipshit who says stupid stuff and then turns around and spouts ridiculous philosophy" is just how I talk. But I habitually approach my life from a standpoint of finding humor in everything, if only to soften the blow. I was once told that it's really hard to tell when I'm joking, because everything I say is always half-joking and always half-serious. I feel like that's pretty evident from my narration too...
As for writing advice...um, I was just speaking about this with somebody. When you're plotting a story, the first thing I like to figure out is what I'm trying to say. Everything else should be built around that. The joy of writing is that I think we all have something we want to say, or something we want people to know, or that we have an aspect of ourselves and our lives that we want to express. Most of the time, trying to convey those things verbally just results in a frustrating approximation of your true feelings. I find that when I manage a successful story, the depth and scale of what I'm trying to impart is fully understood and felt. It's rewarding. I think if people aren't understood on some level, by somebody, they kind of die.
Thanks for the sweet ask!!
#dungeon meshi is the peak of storytelling and im not joking#my asks#my writing#(my writing tag is a good place to find my dumb essays!)#i dont consider myself a creative and i barely consider myself a writer#so i professionally have no fucking opinions on art or whatever#also im not sure you can call what i do art in like any meaningful way#but i know a lot of musicians and everything#and so much art is just a person trying to convey something that can't be conveyed through words alone#so much stuff is lost in translation between our brains and our mouths - its like translating english to a foreign language#the meaning can be conveyed but inherently it'll never capture the original meaning exactly in every way#i think art can help you achieve a more perfect translation more than anything else can#you just have to feel like that poor schmuck in j alfred prufrock all the time#'that's not what i meant at all; that is not it - not at all'#JASLKDF sorry for the pretentious tags and also pretentious essay#all i do is write fanfic i dont know shit about this tbh#i just think that idk. there's things in this world that only we know#things that only we can say or understand#and sometimes we have to say them ourselves in our own words#sometimes ppl focus too hard on making their writing sound pretty or correct or 'good'#and they dont focus as much on how pretty writing is a tool to say what youre trying to say more effectively#idk! im sorry for quoting ts eliot some things can't be forgiven etc
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The Star Spangled Nightmare Chapter One: A Man Of His World
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Steggy Week Day Three: AU & Crossovers
The One Where Peggy Has Beef With Superheros But Then Meets Steve Rogers and Wants To Hate Him But Can’t. -- Peggy had a life plan for herself and none of it ever involved this superhero business. That changed when she lost everything due to a hero/villain incident, forcing her to make some quick life decisions. Now, she owns an organization where she helps people who were in the same situation that she once was in. She just made the mistake of opening it down the street from the Avengers. Well, at least her son is happy.
Peggy Carter hated superheroes.
If anything she hated more, it was their enemies, often just punks dressed in costumes with powers or technology that they shouldn’t have to begin with. They’re the ones that spurred these heroes to do anything to save the day, to drive their heroic needs into overdrive. Even if that included destroying personal property.
But did these bastards really have to destroy her apartment? She’d only just started to settle in the US, to create a new life for herself. She had her whole life ahead of her and now she was left staring at the wreckage laid in front of her.
Well, Mr. Superhero wouldn’t just have his Villain of the Week to worry about, as far as she was concerned.
She was going to make Johnny Storm pay because there was no damn reason that her apartment and others should’ve been on his war path when he could’ve taken the fight elsewhere. There was a whole abandoned warehouse just a few blocks over or better yet, take the fight to people who did more harm than good to the citizens of New York.
He was talking to a nearby news crew, while his smoldering wreckage lay behind him in the foreground. The hero’s laughter rang in her ears, causing her to grit her teeth. She wanted to wring his neck - how could he be laughing when handfuls of people had nowhere else to live?
Avengers Compound - @allcapsbingo, Love Letters - @marvelrarepairbingo
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jynjackets · 9 months
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I finally watched The Creator and holy shit why didn’t any of you tell me it was going to be that beautiful
#this movie was literally made for me#i’m a ml engineer#I research tech comms & censorship in asia and la#vietnamese language vietnamese people!!!! Thaii!! nepalese!! desi!!!#*cries* god i love being asian#Asians banding together to kill colonizing Americans ilysm#gareth edwards forever the movie maker of all time#we are going to gif the shit out of this#once I find out how to#the creator#this is the dream science fiction was made for#science fiction is not for taking from other cultures and putting white westerners in its place even when that's how it's been.#it's for telling a grave and distant future that is not so distant to deliberately expand your view of how the world works#INCLUDING outside the west and the united states#reclaiming the genre to the very culture that inspired it#And by not only showing the overpillaged overcolonized overpoached focus on southeast asia but also all of asia as a united front.#Imperialism is supported by xenophobia and racism so how else do you tell that story without casting nonwhite races & diverse nationalities#the movie said you just fucking can't!#and its apparently not even that hard with the film coming in at $80M to make (blue beetle cost $104M for comparison that's insane)#and to say 'American' so clearly and so many times oh is so *chefs kiss*#there's flaws but idgaf because they are insignificant compared to the story and themes that are so clearly and respectfully carried out#It's completely okay if you didn't know anything about southeast asia or asia in general#but when watching the movie don't you just understand that imperialism war violence are inherent evils#NOT because (a) other cultures are nice to look at and you can borrow it like through clothes dances food songs religion#(b) that we are pretty advanced and such intelligence shouldn't go to waste and perhaps be put to work#or (c) any other rationalized benefit for imperialists to put a price on a people or life#but by the simple fact that people are human and are hurting#and that the elusive concept of a soul and where we go when we die exist for everyone along with fears emotions and meaning surrounding it#it's about how we must protect these differences in meaning /because/ we are all the same
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iniziare · 3 months
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Re-tag drop: Yelan
#yelan: ic. [ that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth. ]#yelan: inquiries. [ oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then? ]#yelan: countenance. [ an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.” ]#yelan: introspection. [ like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops. ]#yelan: meta. [ the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? ]#yelan: little notes. [ how can things ever be the same again: knowing your life was saved when others weren't? salvation can be a burden. ]#yelan: wishes. [ that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. ]#yelan: etc. [ every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine. ]#yelan: home. [ i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living? ]#yelan: yanshang. [ the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out. ]#yelan: lantern rite. [ every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure. ]#yelan: chasm. [ perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too. ]#yelan: scope. [ i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets. ]#yelan: weaponry. [ water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable. ]#yelan: uncle tian. [ there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone? ]#yelan: ningguang. [ we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk? ]#yelan: xiao. [ you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that is#yelan: keqing. [ if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different. ]#yelan: ganyu. [ i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its pe#yelan: yanfei. [ when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little much#yelan: traveler. [ you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval. ]#yelan: v youth. [ you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value. ]#yelan: v. pre-qixing. [ i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a sou#yelan: v. qixing. [ seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. ]#yelan: liyue. [ liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared.#yelan: wriothesley. [ don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. ] delusionaid.#yelan. [ i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former. ]
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teobug · 9 months
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oooh the med switching. is making me want to chew on nails. it is Not Good.
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spachik · 1 year
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cerbreus · 2 years
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it’s been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didn’t tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isn’t resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brains’ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.
#bro im gonna cry#fucking got blacklisted from one of the largest rental car companies in this country and it is apparently#impossible to get off the 'do not rent' list#whats making me more upset is that i literally called them the day the windshield cracked i got things sorted out before i even dropped the#car off and still shit is so far out of my control and now i'm stuck with all these repercussions that shouldn't have happened if my#insurance that i pay a hell of a lot of money for wasn't so incompetent#bro apparently even my ROOMMATES can get blacklisted for sharing an address with me#worse yet payment has been sent out but the company is still going 'fuck you pay me killyourself never talk to us again once u pay this'#i can't get ahold of the DRU person in charge of my claim on their end to find out what happens#so it might end up going to collections anyway which will perma fuck up my credit score which i've been trying. so hard. to raise.#being an adult is a fucking nightmare i want to sleep i can't focus for longer than 5 minutes on anything before i start getting that dread#its so frustrating i can't enjoy my hobbies i can't enjoy my work (which is going well right now) bc i'm so stuck on this i need this to go#away so i can regain my brain's normal functioning and yes i have anxiety this is the worst it's been in a while though#anyway sry for the venting i'll be fine it'll be fine my insurance WILL pay for this and things will be fine (probably) once that goes thru#not that it didn't add to my stress enough that my bp probably took another year off my life lbr#personal stuff#delete later i think#DO NOT rent a car without taking the damage waiver it doesn't matter how much it costs or if you have insurance just take the damage waiver#don't be me
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soggypotatoes · 2 years
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I would actually kill for the ability to fucking read again
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foxgirlmoth · 2 years
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Girls will have a hard time sleeping
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wingsofaether · 27 days
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hm this is a bit interesting to say the least. I'm not really iffy about time travel in general and parallel universes could be interesting if done right.. just a lot to think about
Link to article
https://www.eurogamer.net/naoki-yoshida-on-dawntrail-criticism-community-feedback-and-the-future-of-final-fantasy-14
#tbh im open to whatever so its not like im gonna be heavily critical here#the only thing im reallllly looking out for is character writing done in a way that makes the characters feel like their own people and#so forth#I just don't want a bigger picture with minimal character writing.. I guess I mean I want shb/ew/hw(to some extent) lvls of character#writing#while dt had some character writing I liked it focused a little too much on the overall bigger picture than focusing on pre-existing#characters which I didn't like because why are they even there to begin with then ya know?#eh he does go into how its hard to focus on everyone individually in that sense and said that the development team will proceed to only#(maybe) take a select few of scions/pre-existing characters with us from now on since some of them really do not need to be there all the#time for real#Idk I still have hope for whatever comes next so ^_^ yay#I didn't hate dt by any means but I have looked it over and can say krile and erenville should've taken the lead by the second half way mor#overall though I liked dt just not as much as ew/shb/hw#I do have to say though stormblood did have some(very minimal) character stuff I really did like though#I do not like the whole concept of stormblood though with how they structured it. I think that was done pretty poorly#only super big issue I had with hw was ysayle dying#that was just dumb as hell like damn#she would've been such a good character moving forward but. oh well ig#zero is really good too im glad she's still alive :> can't wait for more zero story in the future and I hope she meets Cyella & ryne/gaia#Idk even much abt Cyella since I haven't unlocked those quests for her since I don't wanna lvl tank or healer but I really do love her#design and by the looks of it she's a cool character so. I would love for her to be in the msq someday (meaning soon lol) I have no idea ho#they'd do that though since she's tied to side quest hell#*more#gah I just want more character moments for reaaal#I said though so many times here ignore that 😭#*how
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whateveriwant · 4 months
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Good evening, I can't stop thinking about Simon going brain dead as he fucks you :)
Like, just imagine. You're on your elbows and knees as Simon's hitting it from behind, when suddenly you feel something wet land on your back. You know it's not him finishing given the fact that he's still buried deep inside you, so you look back over your shoulder to see what the hell that was you just felt.
And when you turn around, the sight that greets you is one for the ages. There's Simon, eyes unfocused and glazed over, mouth hanging wide open in the most fucked-out expression you've ever witnessed. He looks like he's never had an intelligent thought in his life; like he's been reverted back to a primitive brain, whose only drives are to eat, breathe, and fuck.
As you watch him rut into you like a sex-crazed animal, it's then you spy the source of the mystery liquid dripping onto your back. There, dribbling steadily from Simon's ajar mouth, flows a thick stream of drool. It leads down from his bottom lip in long, viscous ribbons, landing and settling itself along the curve of your spine. If he even notices (which, by the look on his face, he's too far gone for such higher-order thinking processes) then he doesn't care. He just lets his spit pour freely from his open mouth, like some kind of wild beast that's got its eyes locked onto its next meal.
Simon is so mentally checked out that he can't even hear you as you gently say his name. No, all he can think about – all his shriveled little monkey brain can focus on at this moment – is how fucking good you feel around him and how fucking badly he needs to fill you up.
When Simon does finally cum, he can only manage a garbled string of grunts and groans that doesn't even come close to resembling human speech. After three, four, five thrusts as deep into you as possible, his whole body is shaking, and his trembling limbs give out.
He collapses on top of you without a second's consideration of his size, pinning you to the mattress beneath his warm, heavy frame. You can still feel him drooling a little as his face comes to rest in the crook of your neck, the mess on your lower back getting smeared between your bodies.
It's hard for you to breathe being trapped under Simon's weight like that, so you try lightly tapping him on the head to ask him to roll off you. Unfortunately, I'm afraid it's no use trying to gain his attention right now. You're going to have to give him a few minutes to collect himself, love.
The poor guy just fucked himself stupid, after all.
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person: *shows even the slightest hint of interest in music that I enjoy*
me: ah yes a new victim muhahahaha
#this is what listening to the wonder years will do to your personality#it's fun because it's so easy to steer the conversation into that direction#mention hobbies then music then ppl wanna hear it bc they haven't heard of it#then they express even the slightest bit of positive feeling for the music#and it's done#you have been caught in my trap#you will never find peace from me mentioning them every single time i see you for the rest of your life#i can't even think about the lyrics too hard because then I'll start infodumpjng to myself in my head#and then whoops it's been hours and I've just been hyping myself up thinking about how good the music is#i already know this information. i know it's good. i still need to scream ITS SO FUCKING GOOD THO in my head every so often lest i go insane#i haven't generated this much dopamine since I was in middle school and foaming at the mouth over fandoms#anyway if you're wondering what sparked this it's bc i made the mistake of listening to hum again this morning#then you're listening to wyatts song and thinking of screen door and whoops time to go listen to greatest generation in full again i guess#and do not even get me started on cardinals ii#you go from brothers & right into cardinals so it flows perfectly and then into cardinals ii and that is the peak of human emotion#i meed them to play all three in a row live and i need it to be recorded so i can listen to it even though the pure bliss may kill me#it just hits different when it's live bc in the studio version the drums stop when going from brothers & into cardinals#but the drums keep fucking going in the live versions there's an actual climactic peak where it fades right into the next and it is perfect#and they have live recordings going from brothers & to cardinals and cardinals to cardinals ii#but afaik they haven't played all three in a row yet. mayhaps next year......#though experiencing that live would probably permanently alter my brain#yes i am aware that i am very insane about them i cannot stop it and it is incurable#actually literally better than drugs imo#anyway look at me getting sidetracked on what was supposed to be a short tumblr break between studying for exams#i probably shouldn't listen to twy when im trying to focus on something else lol#you get into music bc it's the only hobby where you can enjoy it without dedicating extra time to it#and then it ends up taking over your thoughts and time way more than just doing regular people hobbies would have done#music#mine
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apollo-zero-one · 8 months
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Too old to be a kid too young to be an adult just the right age to cry myself to sleep
#every day I want to give up and go back to my mom's house and apologize for leaving#I'm still powerless here but this is unfamiliar. at least I knew what to expect there#I still had people to avoid and I still didn't want to leave my room but at least I knew I wouldn't be kicked out if I broke a rule#I'm so scared and so sad and I feel so small and so alone#all I want is a home that is mine that I can feel safe and secure in that I can retreat to that I can have power in#All I want is the safety ans security to take a break and to take care of myself#I want to be able to focus on my health for a little while my mental health is so so bad and my stupid brain has realized that I only get#help when it's visible so whenever my mental health gets bad like this I have these constant terrible urges to tear myself apart#The ideas are so vivid and so constant I want to tear my skin to ribbons and break all of my bones and gouge my eyes out and bite my tongue#I want to claw up my face and bite off my fingers and snap each of my ribs#I get phantom aches all over and my body is so tense and wound up and my heart beats so hard for hours and hours#I want to slam my head into a brick wall until something cracks and I hate myself I hate myself for this I hate myself for my selfishness#and for my weakness and for my existence and I want to vomit up my guts and I want my suffering to be real and treatable#I want someone to save me from myself. I want the pain to go away. But there isnt pain is there because its all in my head#I'm doing this to myself just like I have my entire goddamn life. My mom says I was born in pain and cried nonstop for a whole year. Then I#grew out of it and I was perfect. except no I wasn't because I wrote big long notes in phonetic spirals about how I deserve to die.#isn't that a sign?? Isnt that a sign?? i was born this way and things will never get any better they will only change and change and change#and still hurt in ways that I cant prove that I will second guess because maybe they aren't real and I'm just stupid useless helpless weak#when I bleed I can ask someone for a bandaid. when I... exist like this. I can't ask for anything. What helps? What helps? nothing really.#being useless helps until it doesn't. I have to work to pay for the chemicals that barely help. Why do innocent people die every day and not#me. when I pray for it. When I beg. And I'm not afraid to walk alone at night because NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO ME. Because I'm so lucky.#Soooo lucky. it isnt fair. She deserves it more than me. who? pick. anyone. Someone who wants it. Maybe who I could have been if I were#better. Not me. I dont get hurt. I dont get lost. I dont die. Maybe I cant maybe I never will. I'm more afraid of having to live like this.#My life is always on the line of not quite not quite and I never need help and I always need help and I'm never enough and I'm average.#the standard. the center. Above me dont need and below me do and I? What do I? both. neither. I shouldn't exist. It hurts to exist like this#in between. I should be able to do this myself. I'm the worst player on the best team and the best player on the worst and I don't fit in#either and everyone hates me for being one or the other and I can never be better so I want to be worse and thats my whole life in one#sentiment. I'm always at the bar and I can never get over it. I've been begging forever please lower your expectations I cant do better than#this. so I'll do worse. I'll make myself worse. I deserve it anyway. I'll be more scars than skin and more pain than person and then maybe#I'll belong somewhere god fucking knows even if its a padded room I could belong somewhere.
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