#its always nice to hear back from ppl in a positive way (which is pretty much always when i do interact/recommend LOL idk why im so scared)

[dandyshucks]

SORRY IF THIS IS OUT OF NOWHERE BUT I listened to A Hundred Million Suns like you recc’ed in my tags a bit ago, and u we’re right it does have good songs :D but WHY IS THE LIGHTNING STRIKE 14 MINUTES 💀 anyways I wanted to let u know I listened to it and liked ur recommendation so ty :3

- @sheepie-self-ships 🦇

YAYYY it's one of my fav albums from when I was in highschool :D !!! (tourist history by two door cinema club is another good one that I've been relistening to LOL)

SBDHDJL FOR REAL THAT ONE SONG IS SO LONG, i wish they'd split it up into its three separate-ish parts because it was rough using a CD player to skip to certain parts dhdjdkl, but tbh the only part i usually listen to nowadays is this first part ⤵️

(linking it for anyone who is curious) it feels like the sort of song where u lay in the dark and stare at the ceiling while listening fhdhdkl

THANK U FOR LETTING ME KNOW U ENJOYED IT I'm so glad :] YIPPEE !!!

[lovelybunn]

𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.

warning(s): swearing, mentions of depression

author's note: I DONT HAVE FAVORITES I PROMISE this is a high-school au bc i'm trying to cope with it (even though i've only been there for a few weeks lmao)

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐇.

“ 𝐇𝐄𝐘, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍! 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 sweater you got there, bud! ” you give the boy a small smile. he frowns and looks around, pointing at himself. “ yes you, silly. who else in the class is named stanley? ” you giggle, stan glances away in embarrassment, “ o-oh. thanks, i guess. ” he sits down with a bit more force than he expects, causing him to cuss under his breath.

“ what’s wrong? ” you ask with genuine concern. without making eye contact with you, stan replies, “ nothing. just kinda stunned. ” as if just now realizing what he said, his eyes suddenly widen. his cheeks flare up, “ oh shit– i mean, tired. yeah, that's what i meant, not stunned. why would i be stunned? ” your worried face slowly melted into a teasing snicker. “ you're funny, stan marsh. ” with his face even more red that it originally was, he stammers, “ what are you talking about?! what's so funny, huh?! ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

manz doesn't know how to take a compliment tbh

he has a very low self esteem (bc of his depression), so he'll take anything he can get. beggars can't be choosers, right?

when he does get complimented, stan almost always gets all red and shit and it's so precioussss

he doesn't usually reply with some kind of counter compliment bc he sucks at talking to ppl :(

but the good thing is that he always repays you back in some way for the simple act of kindness to him of all ppl. you know that meme/phrase where its like “ *character* will remember that ”? yeah, that's stan marsh.

he doesn't automatically register when someone is speaking to him, so you prob will have to repeat yourself multiple times before he realizes that your even there lmao

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐈.

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄, 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 to leave his hair down for school, and to be honest, you think his natural curls are gorgeous. you grin and wave at the ginger as he walks into class, placing his things down. “ sup, kyle! seems you know how to take very good care of that mane of yours, don't you? ” with pursed lips, he raises a brow inquisitively at you. “ hm? what's that's supposed to mean? ” your grin grows wider. “ it means i think your hair looks sick, man. ” kyle's screwed up expression slowly melts into slight shock. his face flushes into a deep red against his scattered freckles, “ aw, thank you. ” kyle smiles goofyily.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

kyle doesnt expect kindness/flattery to ever be targeted towards him, mainly bc his friends are kinda dicks (AHEM CARTMAN AHEM)

but when he does get this kind of treatment, he's pleasantly surprised. especially when he's at his at most limit (which is pretty frequent), being able to hear that little positive thing said about him will help kyle rest peacefully for the rest of the day.

don't worry though, a genuine nice response will almost always come in exchange. (unless the poor boy is having a really bad day, then he'll prob just act like you simply don't exist)

kyle is very good at nick-picking certain specific quirks, behaviors, and traits of the ppl he adores. like with his baby brother ike, just one little head jerk or hand movement from ike, and kyle will instantly know exactly how his baby brother is feeling.

so, in relation to you complimenting him, he now is, of course, fond of you. (ex. your eyes look a little droopy one day at school? “ hey, (name), i brought some coffee in my bag, you can have some if you want. ”)

overall a sweet boy w/ anger issues but we don't talk about that :)))))))))))))))))))))))

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐍.

“ 𝐘'𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖, 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊, you're actually a pretty cool dude, cartman. ” you exclaim dryly, making little doodles on the assignment you presumably are supposed to actually be doing. he slowly turns his head to face behind him. a large scowl plasters on eric's expression. “ i'm cool all the time, motherfucker. ” you roll your eyes dismissively, “ the entire campus would beg to differ. ” he opens his mouth to respond with some sort of snarky remark, but he changes his mind and turns around in defiance. cartman laughs proudly. “ you're just extremely jealous that you'll never be as cool as me. ” you sigh and mutter, “ keep telling yourself that. whatever helps you cope, i guess. ”

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

boy thinks that's his birthright to have everyone within his vicinity praise him in some way bc his name is eric theodore cartman

but deep down this boy hates himself with a burning passion, like all narcissists lmao

two words, backhanded compliments.

well, unless he doesn't like you/thinks your ugly af or sumn, then he'll be like “ yeah, i know. couldn't say the same for you, though. ”

but i'll be honest with ya'll, if he even moderately likes you in any way, that one compliment will cause him to attach to you until you have to literally force him to back off. (ex. imagine his relationship w/ butters)

the only plus to that is cartman will be a little bit nicer to you than he usually is. “ hey bitch (affectionate)! ”

ㅤ

ㅤ

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊.

𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇 and it's kenny's turn to read a section of the excerpt the class is assigned. none of his three best friends have this class with him, so he's practically mute for most of the period. you never hear his voice other than a few “ hey ”s, “ mhm ”s, and “ what ”s, so a tiny part of you is lowkey excited to be able to hear the orange hooded boy speak a full few sentences for the first time. he isn't the fastest reader in the class, and definitely not one of the loudest, but something about his soft tone relaxes you. kenny's voice is strangely soothing. after he finishes, you decide to point it out.

you tap on his desk to get his attention, “ wow, i didn’t know you sounded like that, kenny. ” since you didn't elaborate, he stares at you with a blank expression in his big baby blue eyes. he slowly squints at you, silently asking for an explanation. you chuckle, “ i think your voice sounds nice, mate. you should run an asmr channel or something. ” kenny's eyes avert from left to right for two rounds before he becomes a popped bubble full of agressive cackles. the entire class stop whatever they're doing to figure what's going on, but you just give kenny a huge toothy smile.

ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

bruv will never take compliments seriously, like he legitimately thinks your joking.

but he'll still flash his pretty crooked whites at you, and nod his head like a child that just got asked if they want a cookie (pls he's baby <33333)

most of the time kenny's eyes are dull bc he's depressed, but when he's really happy, they'll sparkle, like a lot. remember that.

small talk isn't kenny's thing so after you say whatever you wanted to say he'll prob instantly go back to blocking you out like what he does to his parents when they fight

but after a while of processing what you said, he's truly touched, sometimes he'll even tell karen about how much you made his day with that little comment alone

here's a plus, if kenny thinks your cute enough, he'll start lowkey flirting with you, complimenting you over literally everything you do (sometimes he's a lot more straightforward, but he tries to keep it as discreet as possible)

[shootthemessenger]

all the fear and the fire of the end of the world [w.v. ; b.d.h.]

wilhemina venable x fem!reader x billie dean

requested: how about reader being possessive clingy sub with any combination of (at least two) wilhelmina, billie and/or cordelia, please? like reader asking for attention and them always giving it to her and making sure ppl know she is theirs, this is pretty much just fluff with no real plot

disclaimer: strong language, sexual nature

Nestled between Wilhemina and Billie is how you spent most of your mornings, afternoons, and nights. It had become such a habit for either of them to settle at your side and it was never long before the other followed.

Wilhemina had long since lifted the ban on PDA and fornication; driven mostly by her and Billie’s desire to hold you and show you off and also your fondness of touching them at all times.

So when you woke up, it was no surprise that you were cuddled between the two.

You were turned towards Billie, hand flush against the bare skin of her stomach and ear pressed into her chest just enough to hear the gentle hum of her heartbeat.

Wilhemina was behind you, front pressed into your back and arm slung around your waist. Her breath fell against the back of your neck and you shivered at the feeling.

Wilhemina twitched and you could hear her take a long and sharp breath as she began to wake up.

You turned excitedly, smiling before you even had the chance to meet her hooded eyes. “Good morning.” She smiled at you.

“Morning Mina.” You beamed, toying with a loose strand of her fiery red hair.

“Kiss me?” You pleaded to the taller woman, barely giving her time to open her eyes.

A small squeal left your open mouth when she pressed forward to connect her lips to yours. She hummed in delight before her hand found the dip in your waist and gripped it softly.

Your heart fluttered at the sound and you collected her face in your hands. She pulled you impossibly closer until your bodies meshed like two smoothed puzzle pieces finding their places.

“You two have to fuck so early in the morning?” Billie quipped sarcastically from behind you, causing a whole new smile to break out on your face. “We’re not fucking, B.”

Wilhemina huffed as her forehead settled against your chest, “And if we were you should have just let me enjoy it.” You laughed and pushed her away with a playful smirk before flipping yourself over and settling to sit on top of Billie’s hips.

“Wake up.” You hummed, kissing her collarbone with gentle lips as she glanced up at you with tired eyes. “Mmm, don’t wanna.” She mumbled tiredly, rubbing at her eyes.

You began to crawl off of the blonde and the bed entirely, coaxing a chorus of whines to fall from the lips of both of your girlfriends. “I have to get dressed.” You explained yourself, pushing off the bed.

You could feel two sets of eyes watching you in the candle light. You made a show of stretching the muscles in your naked body before turning your head to meet their gaze’s.

Billie’s eyes traveled along your figure as Wilhemina took her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Are you sure you don’t want to crawl back into bed with us?” The blonde prompted, eyebrow twitching up in suggestion.

“For a proper goodmorning?” You mused with an innocent bat of your eyes, already knowing what the two women had in store.

You giggled once again and looked at them from your wardrobe. “That does sound nice...” you began to toy with the idea.

They both groaned in annoyance as your flirting was cut off by a knock echoing from your bedroom door.

You quickly tied the purple robe around your waist and padded your way to the door before swinging it open.

A grey stood under your gaze, his demeanor faultering slightly. He began to blubber out a sentence, mumbling and stuttering as you watched his eyes fall onto what little skin was exposed on your chest.

You could feel a surge of warmth behind you before a hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you in protectively.

“Quit your stuttering and spit it out.” Wilhemina hissed as she pulled you behind her towering body which was now dressed in her own pale-purple robe.

The grey’s eyes left your chest to meet the harshness of Wilhemina’s glare, “Well?” She barked.

He finally shook himself clear of whatever was running through his head, “I-um. Breakfast, Ms. Venable.”

You could smell Billie’s perfume lingering behind you as a slender hand wrapped around your exposed thigh. Wilhemina began to smirk and Billie made a show of using your clothed form to shield her own naked one.

“Yes, we were just about to eat.” Wilhemina hummed with amusement, watching the young man’s face go ridiculously red before she closed the door without another word.

“That was inappropriate.” You teased, tongue peaking out between your smiling teeth.

Billie flipped you around and lifted you off the ground with ease before settling you on the end of the bed and kneeling onto the ground between your legs to kiss the inside of your thigh.

She hummed, eyes wandering up your body to meet yours. “It’s the truth.”

Wilhemina was eager to move onto the bed behind you, her lips easily finding your neck as you basked in the feeling of both women on either end of you.

Wilhemina used her thumb to guide your head to look at her before she kissed you. You whimpered and your thigh twitched underneath Billie’s open mouth.

Once again, a knock sounded from the door. “Fucking hell.” Billie hissed as she called out. “Go away!”

You began to protest both women moving away from your quivering body before you were sent a pointed look by Wilhemina, “Later, kitten.”

In the matter of a few short minutes, the three of you were scattering around the room and nearly ready for the day.

“That dress looks striking on you.” Billie mumbled her compliments as her eyes landed on you.

You shimmered under the light with a glow that forced a softness onto her heart, tugging at something deep within her.

She watched your every move closely as you shuffled around in front of the mirror to get ready. Moving towards you, her arms found the dip in your waist to pull your back against her front.

Her lips pursed, a soft sigh escaping her throat. She was intimidatingly tall as she stood behind you in her usual heels and met your eyes through the reflective glass.

“Thank you,” you turned your head to press a kiss to the warm skin on her cheek. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

Her fingers found the seam of your dress and danced along the edge, traveling towards your hips where she bunched the skirt of the dress forcefully which only caused a giggle to fall past your lips as she admired the newly-exposed skin of your thighs.

“We could always...stay in today.” Wilhemina interrupted suggestively, turning from her wardrobe as she finished off the last of the buttons on her dress.

Her shoulder was pressed against the side of the wardrobe, a smirk tugging at her lips when you craned your neck to meet her eyes.

You laughed, “Why are the both of you always so insistent on crawling back in bed?” You knew the answer, it had to do with the hungry looks in both of their eyes.

“We have an outpost to run.” You scolded gently as Wilhemina approached the both of you and shut you up with a gentle kiss to the base of your neck.

Billie sighed in defeat and moved from bunching the dress in her hands to gripping your hips with a bruising hold.

Wilhemina spoke once again, “But,” she whined with a mocking tone, “You do look delicious in that dress.”

You offered a delighted smile before pushing Billie away with your hips, “You’ll have time to admire me in this dress later.”

You ducked between the two women, using the edge of the bed as an anchor to slip on your heels.

You could hear Wilhemina whispering something along the lines of ‘or out of it’ before she moved back towards her dresser and, soon after, bid the both of you a goodbye to observe what the day would look like for the lot of you.

It wasn’t long after that you and Billie had joined her in the common room, settled on the couches as music echoed softly.

The other purples where scattered around the outpost, most of them in their respective rooms.

You had settled into a gentle position, your head in Billie’s lap and feet in Wilhemina’s.

Billie gently stroked your hair with her nails as you read the book in your hands, stopping every now and then to meet her soft brown eyes.

Every so often she would lean forward to press a kiss to your forehead and you’d smile at her lovingly.

Wilhemina, on the other hand, was listening rather intently to your reading of the book. She had always been fond of you reading to her. You could feel her slender fingers toying with the hem of your skirt.

“That’s the end.” You concluded as you closed the book and gently set it onto the coffee table beside you.

Wilhemina hummed, “We’ll have to get you another, yeah?” You nodded eagerly, carefully sitting up to face her.

You placed a quick peck to Wilhemina’s lips before settling yourself eagerly into Billie’s lap with your head against her shoulder.

Her hand traveled to your back, rubbing gentle circles. “Baby?” You hummed out, not bothering to move your face from the crook of her neck.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Her finger traveled under your shirt. “I love you.” You giggled.

You could feel Billie’s jaw flex against your head as she smiled, “I love you, sugar.”

Wilhemina’s hand came down to stroke up your thigh, nails grazing the warm skin. “What about me?” She mused, eyes glinting with playfulness.

You pushed forward and connected your lips to hers, despite the greys standing at attention around you.

Wilhemina let you, thumb stroking the crease of your hips. “I love you, Ms. Venable.”

She shivered and brought her hand to caress your face gently, “And you, my dear.”

Taglist: @mssallymckenna , @proudnlittle , @coxmicbabygirl , @sapphicpaulsxn , @its-soph-xx , @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k , @paulsonix , @madamevirgo , @kikaykimkim , @billiedeansbottom , @d14n4ol

[kaitosimp]

As a filthy, filthy multi shipper I’d like to know both headcannons you have for all his pairings and why you like them so much, if you want to of course!

As soon as I read this, my mind started ranting so hard 😂 I will happily answer! And tysm for asking bc if being able to talk about kaito is rare, imagine how much ive talked about the ships i have with him, so im very happy rn!! 🥰 WARNING: dis gonna be long as hell 👁👄👁

OKAY SO the two main ships I have for Kaito are Oumota and Saimota, Saimota is my fave ship and Oumota is my fave comfort ship! The other ships I rlly like with him are Akamota, Amamota, and Momoharu, i pretty much read any fic that has him paired with someone but these are the ones i search for on my own whereas the others its a "i'll read 'em if i come across em" type of deal! So lets dive in 👁👄👁 (i have endless hc's for my ships so i'll only give a few or else this'll never end)

🌌🎭 Oumota 🎭🌌

Reasons: I am a goddamn sucker for thematic parallels, enemies to friends to lovers, and the rivals tropes 🌚 I dont even know how i fell into the oumota hole, cause i didnt consider it much in game, but after reading a few fics it just made me so happy! I love their banter and clashing personalities and stubborness lol, and goddamn, the post game/hangar fics for them are *chef's kiss*

Hc's:

-The way Kokichi tried to get Kaito to see he had feelings for him was by bothering/pranking the absolute shit out of him, but Kaito's dense to these things so he didnt even realize Kokichi stopped bothering other ppl to target him specifically

-When Kaito realized he had feelings for Kokichi, his initial reaction was "oh fuck oh no why him pls no-"

-Eventually Kokichi had to directly tell him to his face he liked Kaito cause Kaito wasn't getting the message at all

-Kokichi loves stealing Kaito's clothes, esp his jacket

-They argue a lot but its over the absolute dumbest shit like before they got together, its usually nothing serious

-Kokichi secretly loves listening to Kaito talk about space, though he teases Kaito about it

-Kaito's fave thing is to cuddle/spoon Kokichi, cause he's the perf size to snuggle with

🌌🔍 Saimota 🔍🌌

Reasons: CAUSE YES!!! From the beggining of Shuichi being the main, Kaito is there for him and supports him so much and makes sure Shuichi is okay, he's just so supportive and loving and helpful and motivational and he's something Shuichi def needed to move forward in the killing game! I just fucking love their dynamic and how they help each other and how they balance each other out as well, plus the whole hero and sidekick thing is adorable! AND OFC THE FAMOUS "i shouldnt be talking about another boy like that" LINE ASDFGHJKL ITS CANON OKAY

Hc's:

-Shuichi confessed first, it took a few times for him to get his feelings across properly bc each time he said something like "i like you" or whatev kaito was like "aw bro i like you too!"

-Kaito tried to get over his crush on Shuichi bc he thought Shuichi wouldn't go for someone like him (i hc him being kinda insecure and covering it up with that confident persona of his)

-Shuichi isn't big on physical contact, but he makes the exception for Kaito bc he's always so warm and gives the best hugs

-Shuichi is the only person who Kaito lets see him vulnerable, it took a lot of time but he eventually learned to stop bottling everything with Shuichi

-Kaito constantly takes Shuichi stargazing, its his fave thing to do and Shuichi is ever so happy to accompany Kaito and listen to space rambles

-Their first kiss was beyond awkward and Shuichi nearly fainted but they got the hang of it eventually

🌌🥑 Amamota 🥑🌌

Reasons: I literally saw an amamota fic on ao3 and it won me over oops- to me it just makes sense! They're both adventurers in a way and i love their personalities together, Kaito's boisterous nature would be a nice change of pace for the ever calm Rantaro and Rantaro's mellow nature would be something refreshing for Kaito y'know?

Hc's:

-Kaito always tried helping Rantaro catch up in classes bc he always misses 'em to travel and he was always the first one to welcome him back

-Rantaro got attached to Kaito and didnt even realize it until he came back one day and kaito wasnt there to greet him (cue disappointed rantaro and bAM thats when he realized)

-Kaito loves hearing about Rantaro's travels, he's always asking for pics and details

-Kaito confessed first, he literally couldn't take it anymore and just threw it out there while Rantaro was mid greeting

-Rantaro didn't tell Kaito about his sisters until about a year into their relationship bc he was scared Kaito would disappear too

-Rantaro literally re-visited a bunch of islands and countries in the artic circle just to take pics/vids of the aurora borealis for Kaito

🌌🎹 Akamota 🎹🌌

Reason: I just think they'd be sooo cute together 🥺 Kaito and Kaede are both positive people who try to help others and their personalities fit so well together! Idk man it just makes sense to me

Hc's:

-Kaito absolutely loves hearing Kaede play the piano, sometimes he'll sneak record her so he can listen to it whenever he's feeling down

-Kaede tries teaching him how to play the piano, instruments aren't his thing but he tries his best in the lessons cause it makes her happy

-Kaito's confession was accidental, he was just listening to her play when he blurted out how pretty she was, which led to an awkward confession talk with lots of blushing

-Kaede has tried to compose a piano piece that embodies Kaito's personality but she fails everytime, cause his larger than life personality is hard to capture perfectly

-They're both big on affection, so they're constantly holding hands and hugging

AND FINALLY, 🌌🔪 Momoharu 🔪🌌

Reason: THEY'RE GREAT TOGETHER OKAY 🥺 I just love how Kaito got Maki to come out of her shell and how he trusted her/accepted her!! He gave her the cutest nickname and befriended her and literally gave his life up to protect her, aND MAKI'S CONFESSION ABOUT FALLING FOR KAITO STILL MAKES ME CRY

Hc's:

-Maki confessed it ever so casually while mid training, which literally made Kaito fall over in shock

-Kaito loves Maki's hair, he could spend hours playing with it and he always helps her brush it

-Maki hates her scars, but Kaito's always there to kiss em and remind her how beautiful she is, he always traces constellations on 'em when they cuddle

-Maki's constantly scared she'll accidentally hurt Kaito, or that he'll get hurt bc of her past

-Kaito's very protective of her, just like Maki is of him

-Maki loves the sound of Kaito's voice, her favorite thing is to listen to him talk about space

W O W i am so sorry for this massive post 💀 I seriously tried limiting myself asdfghjkl oops

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[babysizedfics]

I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.

hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too

WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS

also this is a VERY long headcanon!!

so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy

patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking

but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead

things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(

while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.

vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.

logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time

Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it

during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))

it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.

logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.

patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues

logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.

around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.

he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment

'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness

virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor

logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it

'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose

'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks

'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'

theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.

'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever

'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.

logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'

at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'

vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'

'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'

vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'

with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers

logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'

virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'

'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'

vee nods with a pout

'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'

thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up

he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)

by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too

by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself

but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby

yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event

[taekooktimeline]

1) I admire a lot the hard work you put into your timeline, please don't take it the wrong way, but how do you make sense of taekook happily dating but not seeing eo during their long break in 2019 ? Ppl keep saying it's not healthy for couples to be always together and it's normal to take alone time since they're workmates but it's not like they can actually "be" a couple during work

Kayla: Sara and I have a goal to go back through 2019 and firm it up even more, but we will have to agree to disagree, and that’s ok! ☺️We both don’t see any breakup in 2019. Tae commented 2019 was an okay year, which I doubt he’d say if they had broken up. Not only that, but through 2019, into 2020, both Tae and Jk were loud in their own ways to one another, which I just don’t see happening if there is a breakup.

We delve into 2019 a little more here: https://taekooktimeline.tumblr.com/post/639391942900350976/december-31st-2019-january-1st-2020

But will expand further as we can.

Keep in mind, they’re closeted so they can’t be fully forthright. Perhaps they did see each other during the break, but they omitted sharing that which is their right to do. Being closeted, not out, it wouldn’t surprise me if Jk decided to not mention this when he spoke about who he saw. And maybe he did only see Hobi and Jimin. I’m going to Japan for 3 weeks without my partner this year (if the pandemic lets up). It doesn’t mean we have issues. I am a person outside my relationship and I like to go do things separate from that. Maybe it’s as simple as that. But I’m not a fan of how people (I’m not saying you necessarily, just Tkers in general) seem to actively look for negativity when I find this quite straight forward - a closeted couple who can’t be fully open, not disclosing all of what they did on their break (which is their right), and people analyzing it so deeply. We only see a fraction of their lives. They aren’t obligated to share, and also keep in mind, as upsetting as people weirdly get hearing this, BTS do lie and avoid being fully forthright and that’s fine. They don’t owe us a thing. So the way I see it, maybe Jk omitted he spent time with Tae, or maybe they did take time to see other people, since they are busy 10-18 hours a day with BTS. There is such a thing as FaceTime when you’re seperate from your person. And I just am a firm believer being closeted means we’re not privy to everything. I wouldn’t necessarily take that comment at face value when factoring in other variables.

Going with the point we only see a fraction - remember how out of pure luck we caught Tae leaving the boathouse Jk slept in during IST? We would’ve never known Tae had even been in there before the sunrise if we didn’t see that one specific frame. They didn’t mention it. They gave no indication of it. What about the drama with hot 100 and the contradictions in stories that got everyone confused? Those examples show they omit. We only see so much. They only share so much.

Leading up to that break Jk gestured very obviously to Tae that he is his life partner. They were spotted going to the movies together. Only Jk knew Tae got nail care one day in a run episode filmed that summer. Jk sat on Tae’s lap. Jk is at Tae’s army zip photo shoot. They’re filmed listening to “winter bear” and are rumored to have shared a 1 bedroom space separate from the members during summer package. Jk gives Tae the “way beyond my imagination” award. In BV4.. which needs to be addressed since people find drama here too for some reason I can’t understand ... he buys Tae a coat, happily announces (mistakingly) he is Tae’s roommate, helps him with Uno, they take photos together and Jk recognizes his playlist in the RV .. plus he protectively offered to cut the thorns when Tae comments on them. Fast forward after the break and Tae holds Jk’s hand, the first public appearance after the tattoo girl scandal. To me that’s a statement on its own. And then from there you have “the closer you are the shorter the letter”, among many other cute moments in winter package, Jk flirtingly asking Tae to car share, and you jump into 2020 with GDA, back hugging in black swan, being loud in general in America (dancing together, being affectionate), Tae being loud about Jk or 🐯🐰on Weverse .. I mean.. I just don’t see how that all happens if there’s an issue. All before the month break, and after the month break, they don’t show any tension or issue. So because a closeted, private couple doesn’t give a full break down of what they did every single day of their vacation, which were not entitled to know, we just ignore all the positive actions and words they made about or towards each other before and after break, or the fact Tae said 2019 wasn’t a bad year overall? I don’t get that.

I mean .. if someone sees an issue so be it but my mind is really firm there was no issue in 2019.

And as far as the living situation goes, we all know Tae has his own space but I actually don’t have any insight into the living situation further. It’s too complex. But I highly doubt Taekook are not seeing each other outside of work commitments. No matter what the living situation is, I’m sure they’re spending time together, or else the relationship would collapse. We get comments, pictures and videos from people seeing them out and about (movies, shopping, food, Namsan, etc..) so that’s pretty obvious they spend time together outside of work.

And as far as Jk’s birthday goes, I’ve heard rumors but I’m not going to share because I’m not comfortable and it’ll just start arguing. Plus I have an opinion on some of the drama of that but again I’m not going there because I just know where that will go. So all I’m going to say is again, we are only privy to so much going on in their lives. But as far as I’m concerned, Tk were fine before, during and after BV4, tattoo girl and jk’s birthday.

Again, totally cool we disagree but this is my stance. Thank you for the well wishes. That’s very sweet 💜

Sara’s General Disclaimer: I may select some asks, think about them and answer in the future through either Tumblr, Twitter or YouTube. Kayla will take over the discussion section as she enjoys active debates and will make the time for it, but I still read them all. Be nice to each other 💜 As it’s natural, I may or may not differ with Kayla’s take/ words.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Azula Week 2020: Day 7 - Repaired

Prompt: Success Pair: N/A Song: 69feetofsmoke - Ppl That I Luv

Summary: Zuko comes across Azula's paintings and sketchbook and finds startling self-portraits. 

The paintbrush slashes across the canvas leaving a thick and heavy trail of black. One harsh, angry brushstroke after another and another and another and…

Red comes next, vivid and bright. There is nearly as much red as there is black. It is thrown and spattered by flicks of the brush from a distance.

A touch of gold. Only the faintest trace of it.

The painting is cast to the side amid the rest of them. She curls herself up on the bed feeling drained. She is well aware that painting shouldn’t leave her feeling such. But it always does.

Azula has become a ghost of herself. Zuko sees it in her dulled eyes, in her loose stance and her slouched sitting posture. He sees it in her disheveled robes and her disarrayed hair. Sees it in her paled skin and hears it in the dejected way she speaks.

She hasn’t been the same since their Agni Kai. She isn’t as unkind, on some days she is actually rather pleasant to talk to, but she is deeply sad. Even when she smiles it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I’m fine, Zuzu.” She insists again. They sit in the shade of a dragon maple.

“You aren’t acting like yourself.”

“Everybody wanted me to change.”

He presses his lips together. He hates when she does that. Even if she doesn’t mean anything by it. Even if she only means to lay down facts as she sees them. He never knows how to reply to that because she isn’t entirely wrong, but she is missing some critical aspects. “That’s not what I mean.” He finally settles.

“Then what do you mean?” She asks, eyes fixed on her hands, clasped atop her knee.

“You just seem...really...unhappy.”

“I’m fine.” She repeats as though rehearsed. She does this a lot too, has him talking in circles.

“I just want you to be okay.”

“I am.”

He has to hold back a frustrated sigh. He has run out of things to say. But he doesn’t think that it is a good idea to leave them in silence. “The pond looks nice today. Katara said that she saw you decorating it?”

Azula shrugs. “I moved a few rocks around because I didn’t like where they were placed.” She pauses. “And I thought that a couple of fire lilies would look nice around it.”

He recalls that her bedroom window faces the pond and wonders if this is a small way of trying to lighten her mood.

“It does look nice.” He smiles. She doesn’t return the smile.

.oOo.

It feels weird talking to them. Talking to any of them. Every time she begins to feel secure, like she might be fully accepted, she makes a mess of it. And it is usually over the most mundane and trivial things.

Today’s argument has an extra bite considering that she’d taken something positive and turned it sour.

“You’re really going to choose flowers over people!?” Katara asks.

“They’re just flowers” Mai adds nonchalantly, “Sokka did even know that they were yours.”

Azula fixes him with a cross stare, his arm is slung over Suki’s shoulder. Suki who now wears Azula’s fire lilies in her hair. They aren’t just flowers. They are her flowers. Were her flowers and they made it, if only a little, easier to pull herself out of bed. They gave her something pretty to look at. They made her feel as though she could create something beautiful. She folds her arms across her chest. But even when she does create something beautiful it becomes vile in the end. “They were mine.” She says flatly.

“They were in the palace gardens.” Zuko says gently.

“Which are also mine.”

Zuko sighs, presses his hands together, and holds them to the bridge of his nose. “They’re my gardens too and…”

“And what!?” Azula asks. “And I think that you’re overreacting, a little.” He replies.

“A little?” Mai quirks a brow. “They’re a bundle of flowers, she can grow more.”

Azula clenches her fists beneath the table. “I shouldn’t have to. People should know better than to touch what belongs to me. They should know better than to disrespect…” She hisses.

“I didn’t even know that they were yours!” Sokka throws his hands up.

They are all looking at her. Glaring at her with such hatred and aggravation.

“Ya know we’re trying so hard to be nice to you.” Katara interjects. “We don’t have to and we really shouldn’t. You’re lucky that we’re giving you a second chance.”

But she feels neither lucky nor like she truly does have a chance. In fact, all she feels right now is anxious and angry. But she thinks that she might be angry at herself. She buches the fabrics of her robes beneath the table.

“And you aren’t even putting in any effort!” Toph declares.

“We thought you changed.” TyLee adds softly.

“Who gets mad over flowers?” Suki mutters. “I thought that they were pretty enough to wear.”

Azula bites the inside of her cheek, she hadn’t thought of that. Hadn’t considered that she had created something beautiful after all. Something so beautiful that someone wanted to wear it. Beautiful enough that it could have created joy for someone else. And suddenly she agrees with them, that she has made a problem out of nothing at all. Suddenly she feels horrible.

“They were my flowers…” Is all she manages.

She wants to cry, but, Agni, she can’t do it now. Not in front of so many enemies, especially ones that already gnash at her with razor teeth. She gnaws her lip that much harder. She can feel the tears building behind her eyes and they keep talking. She isn’t quite listening but they are still talking and they are still chastising.

She feels like a little girl. She feels pathetic and immature and an assortment of other dismal things. She can’t cry and she can’t look away, she is already being ridiculed enough. She feels as though they are closing in on her, she has to take her mind somewhere else… She has too…

The heat comes to her fingers before the tears have a chance to come to her eyes. She presses her fingers into her forearm and heats them much further. Everyone hates her again, they probably always will. She keeps her mind fixed on the burning sensation. It isn’t potent enough yet so she heats her fingers further still.

“Azula!” Zuko is loud enough to break through her concentration.

She stands up and pushes her chair in. She thanks Agni that her sleeves are long enough to cover the burn marks beneath. It isn’t as though she hasn’t done this before. She’d just never done it with other people in the room.

“Azula, we’re not done talking.”

But she is. She is done with a lot of things; hope and creating joys for herself among them. She pulls out her sketchbook and a fountain pen and begins slashing at the paper.

.oOo.

Azula’s room is vacant when he comes to check on her an hour later. The servants assure him that she has gone for her bath. He seats himself upon her bed. An hour later he sighs to himself, he is nodding off. He forgets how long she takes in the bath.

He stands to stretch his legs when he glances at her nightstand. At first he thinks that it is a journal, and in some sense it might be. It rests face up and open, an image done with thick ink. He knows that he ought not to, especially since their entire argument just hours ago had been about touching her belongings. But curiosity gets the better of him. He takes note of the picture she’d left open and flips to the first page. This one is just as dark, maybe more so.

The ink is applied so heavily that he can see indents on the page beneath it. The figure is hunched over, its face obscured. A plethora of weaponry juts from its back. Some arrows and a few throwing stars, but mostly there are knives. Red ink is used generously.

He turns the page to see another figure this one also has its face obscured, this time by hair. But he can sense the wild eyed gaze beneath. It wraps its arms around itself, nails clawing into its skin. Azula’s artistic talent is so much that it almost feels real, like he is looking at actual flesh that is being gripped to tightly. All around the figure are shadows, faintly human in shape, some are only hands.

The next page is much simpler; another dark-haired figure but the face is violently scribbled out. And the one next to it is similar but instead of ink, Azula blotted the face with paint. Deep, dark, paint.

The fifth image reveals a face. It’s eyes are dark and empty. There is such a deep sadness in them. He wasn’t aware that a single painting could convey such an emotion. He is so distracted by the face reveal that he almost doesn’t notice that the rest of the figure is in shambles. It’s right leg is seperated at the knee and the left is obviously broken. The left arm is twisted and bent. And its right arm is cracked and covering a large hole on its head, the cracks spiderweb onto the forehead. There is no blood, somehow this leaves him more unsettled. In the teeniest font at the bottom of the page he sees the word, ‘broken’.

He quickly flips the page. This one is not much better. Fierce and angry golden eyes look up at him. Golden eyes... The figure emits such an air of hatred that he almost closes the sketchbook as he should. But he can’t tear his eyes away. It is bleeding, its throat slashed from side to side and its wrists mutilated. Zuko finds more tiny writing. ‘Deserved.’

He comes to the page he’d first happened upon. The newest one. The worst one. It is the same figure, this time its eyes look dead and empty, thick black ink runs down its cheeks. It holds a dagger in its right hand, it’s blade adorned with red ink. The figure is naked and upon its stomach is the word, ‘monster’. His stomach sinks, in an instant he becomes aware that he has been referring to the figure as ‘it’. It is a human. It is undeniably a twisted, mutilated self portrait.

On her portrait self’s forehead, Azula had scrawled, ‘crazy’ and in smaller print, ‘lunatic’. It doesn’t matter where on the image he looks, it is full of words. Her left arm read, ‘disappointment’, ‘dishonor’,  ‘bitch’. and ‘hateful.’ Her right arm  is marred by, ‘ugly’, ‘damaged’, and ‘a mess.’

Her legs are decorated with various synonyms and the red ink drizzles down them pooling at her watercolor feet. Her chest is censored with two words, ‘heartless’ and ‘unlovable.’ The background is made of more words still but these are all overlapping one another so much that he can’t make out any of them. He doesn’t have to, to know that they are just as demeaning.

He looks back into those gold ink eyes. The sorrow within them is so complete that it is overwhelming. He hears footsteps and hustles to put the sketchbook back in its place. And pretends to be observing the dragon mural hanging at the other end of the room.

“What do you want, Zuzu?” She grumbles. Her hair is dripping, she smells like the bath she’d just taken. He might have mistook the grumble for an argumentative growl, but now it only seems dreary.

“Just to check on you.”

“For what?”

He shrugs. “I just. I know that it’s hard to try to fit in with a group of people that you hurt.”  He wants to bring up the sketchbook, but he isn’t sure how without rousing her temper.

She shrugs and sits herself back on the bed. Her eyes look nearly as vacant as they do in her portrait. “Are you okay.” He hears her insist that she’s fine in his head before she opens her mouth.

“Are you?” He asks with a pointed stare to her nightstand.

She goes very tense.

“I told you not to...we just fought over…” Her voice seems to catch. “You shouldn’t go through my things.”

“You left it on the nightstand…”

“You shouldn’t be in here at all.” Her demand lacks its usual sting.

He takes the sketchbook, “it’s not true, we don’t think those things about you.”

“You do think them.” She insists. “You just don’t say them. Not to my face. But I overhear Mai and Suki. I overhear the palace staff. Iroh…” She pauses.

His mind runs in circles trying to figure out which thing Iroh had said. Perhaps heartless...or crazy, he’d heard his uncle call her crazy before.

“I doesn’t matter anyways because even if you don’t, I…” she stops herself. Her eyes seem to go hollower still.

He rubs his hands over her face. “It wasn’t just about the flowers today, was it?” He asks.

“No.” She replies.

“What was it about?”

She waves her hand. “It doesn’t matter.”  Her head seems to droop ever so slightly. He’s going to lose her if he doesn’t do something.

“Will you come downstairs with me?”

“No.”

He takes her by the wrist and she flinches and pulls her hand out of his grasp. “Sorry,” he mutters, “I forgot that you don’t like to be touched.”  He furrows his brows. “What happened?”

.oOo.

She doesn’t resist as he takes her hand again to inspect it.

“No.” He shakes his head sadly. “No. Don’t don’t do this.” He gestures to the burn marks.

Usually when she makes him cry it is because she’d hurt him. She always imagined that he would be delighted to see her hurt. She isn’t sure why he isn’t thrilled. This is what he wanted, to see her fall and hit the bottom so that he could have the top.  

She doesn’t know why he is babbling apologies to her. He never did anything wrong. That is her job. She’s the cruel one. She’s the one who hurts people. She is hurting him now and all she had done was hurt herself.

He gives her a light shake. “Answer me?”

But she hasn’t much to say. He can pretend to care...he can actually care but it makes little difference when everyone else  hates her. When no one else does. In time, he’d be better off anyhow.

But he doesn’t let her go, Agni she wishes that he would. He only releases his hold to let her lie down but he doesn’t leave. Hours go by and he sits there quietly, occasionally nodding off. It makes her feel teary all over again, but she can’t distract herself with pain with him watching so closely.

Azula squeezes her eyes shut as the first few tears free themselves. She must have made the smallest noise because his hand now rubs small circles on her back. She tries to force herself to stop crying but his hand on her back only makes her weep harder.

And then harder still when she hears footsteps heading their way. She doesn’t know who it is, it doesn’t matter. One person seeing her like this is bad enough. “Is she gonna be okay?”

Zuko glances down at her. “I hope so, Ty.” He gives her a small nudge. “I want her to be okay.”

She swallows. She wants to be okay. But she isn’t, there isn’t one okay thing about her.

.oOo.

He can’t seem to get her to move, not for the first week. For the first week she stays in bed. During the middle of the second week is when she emerged. She was sluggish and untalkative, a silent presence at the breakfast table.

But he was thankful to see her at least up and about. He wasn’t sure exactly what had motivated her to finally leave her room. But, Agni, was he relieved. If he’d known she’d be joining them for breakfast, he would have had them cook her favorite, pancakes with mango slices mixed into the batter. An eccentric choice if he must say. He’d requested it for her the next morning.

Still she didn’t talk. She sat with them but her presence was like that of a specter or a doll. It is her sixth day of not speaking a word. He sits the pancake before her. This time she finishes a little more than half of it before staring blankly at it.

“Hey, let’s go for a walk?” He offers.

“To where?” She speaks up for the first time in ages. He never thought that he’d be so relieved to hear her voice.

“Just out back.” He smiles.

She looks around the table, “where is everyone?”

“Come on.” He helps her out of the chair and leads her outside.

.oOo.

She squints against the sunlight, she wants to go back to her room. Instead she lets Zuko lead her towards the palace gardens. They are all there; Mai, TyLee, the Avatar and his gang, and Iroh. The smell of tea, jasmine, she believes, dances on the breeze.

“What is this?” She mumbles.

The little crowd parts and she sees them. A dozen or so vividly orange fire lilies. She looks up at Zuko in both confusion and a sudden wave of distress. He must sense it on her because his hand is on her back again, “sit down and let Iroh pour you some tea.”

Azula feels shaky, she thinks that she ought to sit down. She lets Zuko lead her to the foldout table that Iroh has assembled. He pours her a cup and she takes it in her hands. She wishes that her hands weren’t trembling so obviously and that the tea cup in them didn’t make them tremble moreso.

“I’m sorry about the flowers.” Sokka says, “I didn’t realize that it bothered you that much.”

She shakes her head, “it wasn’t just about the flowers…” She pauses. She has already made herself plenty weak, they haven’t taken advantage of it yet. And so what if they do, they can’t make her feel too much worse than she already does. “They helped me wake up in the morning. To see them out there. And then I woke up and I didn’t see them…”

A little thing to latch onto. To keep her going and she couldn’t even have that. She rubs the petals of a new one between her fingers. But she does have that. Yet they aren’t the ones that she planted.

She swallows. They are the ones that were planted for her though. Maybe the thought that went into them has more weight. “Why?”

“Because you haven’t been okay for a long time and we want you to be okay.” Zuko says.

She hopes that she hasn’t told them about the sketchbook.  She stares into her empty tea cup. Iroh offers her a refill.

.oOo.

Things were different after that. Azula still didn’t talk very much in the beginning but she would tag along when they went out to eat or to see a play. She wouldn’t necessarily part take, but at least she was getting out of the palace.

He is surprised to see her on the beach, digging her toes into the sand. Every now and then she scoops a handful of it and watches it slip from the space in her fist to reach the ground it had come from.

He takes a seat next to her. “I can get you some ice cream, if you want.”

She stands up and brushes the sand off of the back of her legs. “It’ll melt by the time you get it back to me.” She lets him lead her to the stall that is selling all of the cool beverages. She decides that she wants a pineapple drink instead.

He watches her drink it down, it is hard for him to gauge how she feels. Over the next few days, they talk to her, mostly sharing stories that have no relevance to the war. Sokka tells the most horrendously unfunny jokes. She finally opens up, near the end of the week. She is more sociable and her eyes have more life in them, tired as they still are.

He catches her firebending once or twice and on another occasion he sees her teaching Aang some techniques. After that he suggests that they each have some one on one time with her. An idea she protests but goes along with.

.oOo.

Azula still feels awkward and out of place. Her stories don’t seem to have the right amount of lightheartedness, they all have somewhat of a dark edge or undertone to them. Yet they listen to her anyhow. Mai, with the faintest trace of an amused smile. The same one she always gives when Azula shares the flaming apple and fountain story.

TyLee and Katara weave hibiscus into her hair as she talks. The shell bracelet around her wrist tinkles in the breeze. Sometimes she catches one of them staring. She follows their gaze to her lightly scarred arms.

“What are you staring at?” She asks crossly, without thinking.

“Same thing I always stare at.” Toph shrugs. “Absolutely nothing.”

She manages a small snicker. It feels so normal. It all just feels so normal. She thinks that she needs normal.

.oOo.

Azula is painting different things now. He opens the door to her beach house bedroom to see several larger canvases. Most of them are recreations of the sunset. One of them is a painting of a pineapple drink.

She isn’t in her room but she has been recently. There is a scatter of seashells on her nightstand that hadn’t been there a few hours ago.

He peers out of the window and finds her playing kuai ball with Mai, Tylee, and Suki. On the other team are Aang, Toph, Sokka, and Katara. He makes his way down to the beach and waits for them to tag him in.

Their month on Ember Island is coming to a close. In just a day or so they will be making their way home. Azula, decently taken by cactus juice, has fallen asleep not quite on the couch. He hadn’t taken her for a lightweight. He especially hadn’t taken Toph for one. But the two of them are out for the night and the others aren’t far behind. Zuko doesn’t know how he has become the designated babysitter.  

Their final day on Ember Island is coming to a close. Zuko finds himself on the balcony, looking out at the sun as it casts its warm glow on the waves. Sparkles dance across the surface bathed in pinks and oranges.

“Zuzu.”

He turns around and smiles. ‘I’m glad your trip ended up going well. It did go well, right?”

She doesn’t say anything, simply pushes her sketchbook into his arms before padding away, presumably to help Mai and TyLee start their bonfire.

He opens the book to find several familiar pages of artwork. He cringes to himself as he turns to the first of the new pages. The inkwork is much lighter, less aggressive now, but the image is still melancholy. The ink rendition of Azula is laying on the ground with her hair swept out in front of her, five small burn marks are the only color on the page.

The next one over shows a familiar broken and beaten body. But this one has little plants sprouting from the cracks and insufficiently small bandaids patching them up. The next few pages to follow don’t pertain to Azula at all, not without context anyhow; there is another pineapple drink, a very lifelike shell, and an elaborate door knocker--the one they pounded furiously with at Chan’s house before running away. Of course she would draw that.

He flips to the final page. He sees another figure. Like all of the others, its resemblance to her is unmistakable. More so now that there is life in the golden ink eyes. This image exudes as much cheer as her old ones had exuded sorrow. This one has color too; bright orange watercolor paint makes a crown of fire lily around her head.  He realizes that there are a few figures in the background, little yellow blurs that glow on the page where he is used to seeing deep dark shading. He finds a single word at the bottom.

‘Reparied.’

[floorbed]

7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl

thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr

7. which party member do they understand the least?

for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!

for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 

he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh

agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 

agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!

35. which party member do they worry for?

pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 

agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?

40. do they enjoy poetry?

pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺

agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!

52. from whom do they seek validation?

pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 

growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 

69. how would they describe their party members?

for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.

for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 

[tslasvegas]

Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier

Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...

That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward

I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`

A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out? 

Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!

....five seconds later

I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk

I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!

My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand 

....five seconds later

Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof

If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.

...five seconds later

UGH just rename Luxor to Loser

Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....

Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.

So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.

Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.

UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao

These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.

....five seconds later

Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.

Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay

Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING. 

....five seconds later

Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.

Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.

It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...

[dolphin-enthusiast]

good evening to you, sunshine! 💌✨🐤 how has your day gone?? hopefully it was good, that's what you deserve after all!! i was able to get some tasks done today, and luckily it was actually enjoyable! 💫 (1/9)

"all of you anons out there asked such funny and sweet things today,, i got a good kick out of them hehe,, the one about shinobu and kira made me laugh for a good 6 minutes (even if i'm not the biggest kira fan hehe) and the one asking for autographs made me giggle a bit,, i'm not sure why people would want my autograph, but whatever makes them happy i guess! (though with how amazing you are,, i wouldn't be surprised if people want your autograph 😘)(2/9)

also, to the one anon who was worried about how i am after the incident,, i assure you, i'm doing okay,, sure, it was very scary, but i've been through worse situations in the past,, don't worry about me!! and to the old follower anon, thank you for for being so kind!! of course you're invited to the wedding sweetie! 💕 (3/9)

oh, and i was not at all expecting such a positive response to that little post of mine,, i assure you i am not that photogenic or pretty 😅 just a lucky shot i guess?? ah boh,, darling you are to good to me, no? and the same goes for all of those other anons out there 💞💞 you truly know how to flatter me morgy dear!! (4/9)

now then,, my day was pretty nice i suppose, nothing special!! i finally got to practice my dancing again, which felt nice after having to lie down for so long,, and i got to cook again too!! ooh, and i helped my papa start the process of making plum wine!! i had to help crush up lots and lots of plums and grapes,, and we're gonna ferment it for a total of 2 months, before bottling and aging half of the bottles for 6 more months,, (5/9)

though the winemaking process is very long, it will be so worth it in the end!! 🌹plum wine has a nice, not overly sweet, full bodied and mellow flavor,, my mamma loves to use it in so many recipes!! plum wine has to be one of my favorite wines, maybe because i grew up with it,, my nonna used it in cakes, spritzers, and occasionally sauces! ahhh it really does take me back,, perhaps we can share a bottle sometime? that sounds like a lovely idea to me~ 💘 (6/9)

my gardener neighbor is gone for two weeks, and tasked me with taking care of his garden and his 5 pet bunnies,, awaaaa they're so cute!! i've been giving them little nicknames to remember them, my favorite bunny is a dark grey one,, i named him chippy since his one ear has a tiny chip in it hehe,, and i must say, his garden is very impressive in person!! its huge and full of vegetables/fruits! (7/9)

he said that when he returns, he would pay me and give me some of his produce, but i'd honestly do it for free, it's very fun and i would love to make it a long term job! 🌺 ah, and one last thing that i'm sure you'll be very happy to hear dolcezza,, i'm starting to get into ace attorney !! so far from what i've seen, i absolutely adore edgeworth and franziska,, and phoenix too hehe! i really love it even though i haven't dug too deep yet, and i'm very excited to see more! 😊 (8/9)

mamma mia,, i apologize for those little rambles of mine,, i know they tend to annoy some people 😖 oh my, it's 2:57 as i finish this,, time to get some sleep i suppose?? well then, until tomorrow my love! buonanotte, e sogni d'oro~!! 💗💗💗💗💗 - much love as always, waifu xoxo 😊😘😍🌺💕💞💌💋💘✨ ps: i'll make it a promise to visit countries with you amore 💖 (9/9)"

Darling no matter how many times u try uno reversing me i'll keep saying this: UR the wig snatching one here and tbh i'd say that was no lucky shot bc from what other pics u posted i can confirm that u are indeed vogue worthy😩✌️

On another one i think i tasted plum wine before?? Here we have another type of traditional plum (and other fruits sometimes such as pears) drink thats v e r y strong shxhxhx but either way we will def share a bottle (AND travel countries) someday 👁️👁️ and i swear ur way too kind for ur own good dear, constantly helpin out ppl like dat ahxhxhdh we S T A N sis (u can be just too cute with all those nicknames u give to animals and such)

ALSO HOLY SHIT IM SO HAPPY U GOT INTO ACE ATTORNEY SGAGSXGXGXGXXH ITS DEADASS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVE GAMES BRUH😤😤😤 i will do my best not to spoil shit since my dumbass finished the entire series back in june and i can get v e r y hyped but like... amazing taste darling my chaotic edgeworth simp ass approves (also franziska is best girl everyone who hates on her has a small pp)

[literally-magnus-bane]

random things I’ve said in quarenteen pt 2

@thewaywardimpala HAPPY BIRTHDAY I wish I could come celabrate with you in person but sadly I cannot so here is me being stupid in quarantine thb the first list was better but I continue to be an idiot in this one too

1) so like does he not understand head?

2) what are you trying to invent a time machine to meet her in highschool?

3) ohhh its rona that’s why ppl want it

4) “I love emo music” “no you don’t your not @thewaywardimpala“

5) *bro tightens belt* me- are you trying to strangle yourself from the lower waist? bro- are you stupid?

6) me- talking exited ly about trying @thewaywardimpala‘s chia mom- I’ll try some me- some what?

7) cream cheese on toast it’s like a bagel but with less carbs

8) hot take, beer is just wheat juice

9) whats wow? that I know 18thC slang or that macaroni used to mean cool?

10) *sitting like a boss* mom made me stand up so now my not even in a comftorable sitting position

11) ‘what would your charicter die for’ some good fucking tea

12) I feel like I’m going to hate this which is exactly why I’m going to watch it

13) trust me boys are overrated get you a nice girl

14) romance is friendship plus

15) *closes spotify* why the fuck isn’t my music playing

16) bro- that sounds like a tall order  me- yeah well your pretty tall so maybe you could fill it

17) it works like 90% of the time the other 10% people can just suck it up

18) the vibe of yes

19) *hears fierworks* It’S thE FucKeN SeVenTh

20) look at me using fancy words like similarly

21) vowels can suck my dick

22) I mean I’m barly working and y’all arnt gunna replace me

23) a sunshine vampire

24) I promise that I am 100% sober but fucket I can totally see dolphens being rasest

25) ummmm good ideas.. ummm.... I’m pretty friken cute

26) america ain’t shit

27) I thought it was “no taxation without representation” and yet we have shit representation unless your a rich white man we should stop doing our taxes until we get our representation

28) mom- and this is exactly why so many kids give up and drop out of school   Me- well there is money is stripping

29) *non-stop* eliza- helpLESS    me- god damnit Eliza you are the oly woman who can get me to cry......... so we’re just gunna leave that there

30) that would be enough gets me week in the knees, Elizaq deserves better than men

31) ya know hamilton could have always just like not published his affare like... that could have worked too

32) me- there is no proof that I can die until I do die    dad- ...... thats true

33) *pre-get together* fic- “he had a feeling this would cost him” me- yah your verginity

34) bro- Orion (our cat) can you say Irony    me- Orion can you say choke on a cock?

35) fic- “im pretty sure that’s cannibalism     me- yah but in the fun way

36) oral is just sexy cannibalism why else would it be called head

37) my pettyness and bitchyness are why my friends love me

38) “I don’t wanna eat cat fur N” *dad is confused*

39) you can’t even tell if they have a nice ass and there’s nothing else to look at from the back

40) *bro sitting in a chair* me- like a fucking coward

41) I can't tell if I need a chiropractor or a masseuse

42) hank- as someone whos been on the internet for 15 years...     me at 19- THAT’S LONGER THAN I’VE BEEN ALIVE

43) safety’s for pussies

44) honestly my parkikng is the only thing straight about me and even then its not very

45) I see what I did there I’m just not sure why

46) not a bee still kinda cute

47) I know trama isn’t a compitition but I’m still winning

48) If the Catholic Church can change up Jesus to fit their narrative I can change up Jesus to fit my narrative Jesus is a homosexual

49) bro- rats and bevers are the same thing   me- yeah there marsupials

50) pain is the spice of life

[dreamy-stars]

7/30/20

i’ve never felt this low in a long time, not even in sophomore year of college?? it’s like rly concentrated sadness and rly hit hard within the last month?

- i went through my first breakup, which affected me a lot more than i thought it would. it was so short lived i don’t even want to call it a relationship. i hate to admit it but it hurt so much bc it seemed like he wanted to be with me for a while. he has his reasons and he should take care of himself but i can’t help but feel thrown away without care? i wanted closure and he couldn’t even give me that. my self confidence went down the drain, and i kept questioning if there was something i could have done differently. i even contemplated if i was pretty enough XD can you believe i let a 5’6 man make me feel like this...pathetic...but yeah he rly has no emotional intelligence or something man cmon i wanna talk it out.. - it took me a while to get over him and now i dont miss him specifically, i just miss being wanted and having that connection? anyway my confidence was bad at this point and was feeling insecure in so many ways. maybe 3-4 weeks ago i started going down this dark hole, just questioning my purpose here. i’m not smart, pretty, or talented in any field. i felt kind of useless? just there... (even typing this im like tearing up hehe) comparing myself to ppl again..how i’m not good enough (in eng) just kinda wasting my parents money? and i think about if i were prettier i’d prob be treated better and those around me would pay nore attention to me? brings me to my next point :p - i feel SO lonely. it doesnt help that i went through a break up and the person i was talking to all day every day is suddenly cut from my life. my friends can contact me and stuff but i feel so left out sometimes. it’s not their fault, it’s just how my brain is ig lol. it felt like i was back in high school. i had acquaintances and was surrounded by friends but couldnt rly connect and be close to ppl. what i remeber most was being at the booth and being surrounded by girl friends and not adding to the convo at all. i felt so lonely and insecure i never want to feel that again. recently i felt it with my cousins who i have always felt close to. can u believe? i can’t rly explain it. but when sp brought her friends to the lake i felt ostracized. its so stupid for ne to feel that way, they’re literally strangers and i wish we could be like white folks that introduce each other right at the start of meeting new ppl U KNOW?? idk i’m so fucking sensitive LOL. like at least mai did it with her bf. I Am Nothing. like sp didnt introduce tp so why am i feeling like this. i guess its just me and my deep rooted trauma of being overlooked and forgotten! even when we went to the lake with just our cousins i felt SOOO SOOOOOOOO down and lonely, even more than before. i was sticking near ap bc it was kinda awkward still and i didnt want her to be lonely. i was just floating around and they played games and talked together and stuff and i felt invisible i felt so lonely even with so many ppl i love there. it didn’t help that they had sleepovers and hung out together so ich and never asked me. they even planned to sleepover later that night and didnt ask me. i wonder if it was bc i was neutral and stuck with ap? oh yeah i forgot that i couldnt go eat with them bc there was no room for me which is understandable but i still felt shitty and i think i cried that night :p it’s small insignificant things that build up for me and make me feel like an afterthought. it rly fueled my self confidence issue. AGAIN no one did anything wrong i’ve just been very sensitive and analytical of everything lately. it’s kind of led me to being distant with sp kinda like im testing her and seeing if she would reach out to me at all? its petty but i feel like she hates me fr 😂 might just be me. I Am Nothing...

ANYWAY ive been crying like pretty often just having these thoughts eat me up. it’s better now i think? it’s scary to admit but i’ve thought about dying so many times recently and i hate it. almost like it’s normalized to me now. it’s not that i would ever attempt but i understand what ppl mean when they want to disappear? i’m very blessed with loving parents and a healthy able body and a good living situation. i never want to put my parents and family through something that traumatizing. i haven’t properly expressed these feelings to anyone besides one watered down text to darwin. it was hard to even type the text, i ended up crying in the bathroom. i’ll have bad days and the thoughts creep up on me and i try to distract myself by watching stuff and it helps. i’ve been working out and dieting and i feel a lot better about myself and more positive. i’ve thought about therapy seriously but im hesitant still. if i still have issues i will, but talking through a screen and the risk of others hearing kinda turns me off. just processing my feelings and thinking about them extensively has helped me a bit but i think having a professional tell me about my feelings will make me feel better. idk how to bring it up at all, and i feel like my issues arent serious enough? but my brain been going cwazy :3

 i’ve been having a rough time at home just doing a lot of nothing but being sad and working out.. i hope with school starting soon i can get out the house and be productive again! recently ive been dealing with the problem of “living for others” i notice that i care about the comfort of others and how i can satisfy them and appeal to others at my expense.. i’ve been thinking about how im not good enough for this type of guy to like me LIKE WHO AMMM IIII WHY DO I CARE...WEIRDO..... maybe im dragging myself too hard i dont think i do this much but i do be a nice comfy doormat for others :)

but overall i feel better than a few weeks ago i think! idk what that was about why is my brain like this....making irrational thoughts and hurting my own feelings...idk but it will be okay :)

[abloomingperiod]

junmyeon as a bf

the softest of the softies

kim junmyeon is an old-fashioned guy

and i’m not saying that in terms of being conservative or anything, ‘cuz i really hope he isn’t

i mean in the sense of love

like you know that kind of person who dreams the whole picture

like

he dates for a reason

unlike other members, junmyeon isn’t the type to not think about the future

being a leader makes you like that

but this gets less harsh on him when u arrive in his life

yk that whole romantic comedy movie where a guy runs into someone and it’s this beautiful woman with the biggest smile and they fall for each other and shit

well.......not exactly your case

he indeed ran into you with an iced tea in hands

except you didn’t smile at him

you basically screamed “SHIT IM SORRY ILL PAY U BACK”

he got so flustered w your reaction like

this really pretty girl just offered me some iced tea”

he was all like nonononononoooo don’t say that it’s fine don’t worry aha

you kept insisting but were late for work so you made him promise to come back to that bakery the day after bcs he WOULD be paid back no matter wHAT

he didn’t feel the need butyou were cute and he wasn’t with a thick schedule so why not right

so yeah ofc prince suho showed up

the next day he entered the place and saw you

you were so pretty watching you crinkling your nose over the hot coffee in your hands was already a payback

a cute one

cmon he’s cringey give him a chance

you bowed at each other and he realized you didn’t mention for Once between the whole minute after the accident and his arrival abt his name or profession as an idol

which for him

was nice

not a big deal, but nice

after you gave him his iced tea he was so polite you actually smiled bcs ajshskjsks cute ?

and then you started talking for a while

you introduced yourself, told him abt your dream to become a writer someday and he !!!!!

okay junmyeon easy on the hearbeats you got it

he just thought of this as such a COOL dream

writing for a living

now he was like this pretty girl... is a poet

i know

lame

but he’s adorable so who cares tbh

he talked to u abt being an idol and how was the position of the leader

you listened to every word and even though you lost a fee of them along with the honey like voice and puffy cheeks of his, you loved hearing abt it

after like 2 hours he had to go bcs schedule

but before you parted your way you had to go to the bathroom

when you went pay for your payback iced tea, you hear a waiter asking “mrs y/n? i believe that for you”

no shit there was the waiter holding a cappuccino

you got like Dude. there must’ve been a mist-

you turn the cup and there it is:

“for y/n

i loved the iced tea but since my goodbyes were a little earlier i most definitely own you a payback too. how abt sushi? xx” and the waiter hands you a note with his name and number

and that’s how you started seeing each other

jun is a quiet person so he won’t be like vocal abt developing a crush on you more and more

it would b like

you guys would hang out sometimes

and little by little he would catch himself getting the heart eyes

like you’re at a coffe shop

you would get passionate talking about some movie or song and suddenly there’s a drop of coffee on the side of your lip. you didn’t notice but he did but he thought you looked so cute popping off about ur favorite music he would just sit there like,,, 💖nvm💖

and with those little stuff he would catch himself thinking yup they’re gonna b mine

so one day he went like soooo maybe i’m catching feelings i didn’t know this was happening sorry??? so i think u should know that bcs it’s abt u... i’m fancied by u i didn’t mean it to happen

like straight up he APOLOGIZED

FOR LIKING U

you were like goshkjsjksj so cute

and decided to play w him a little

“so you don’t want to like me” “NONONOOO THATS NOT WHAT I MEA-” “jk i got it i really like you too and maybe we could kiss to see what happens”

he combusted

so yeah you’re dating that’s what happened

so caring literally sO CARING

calls you on a daily basis when he’s away to talk abt the weather the boys his breakfast how much he misses you how he saw those flowers outside and it reminded of you or how he will bring you to that country when it’s vacations

he’s such a husband material fuck me

keeps notes of things you like so he can hit the high score on important dates

talking abt dates

fancy

i mean he’s bourgeoisie ofc it’s fancy

such a lovely boyfriend i’m actually sad

jun is restaurants with low lights, candles, roses and holding your hand while talking about how he never seemed to figure out the food app to find a cool place to go to so he just asked chanyeol with a pout on his lips

“you’re such an old man” “i’m simple it’s different”

on your 1 year anniversary he took you to a boat ride on a lake witha guy playing violin and wine and cheese waiting for you

simple my ass

keeps bringing coffee and flowers for you every friday night you get together bcs it’s your “tiny vacations” as he calls it

on weekends with you the only ppl he answers is either manager or a serious question from the boys/his family

and it’s always a short “yes” or “no” or “👍🏻”

fuck it he’s with his baby leave him alone

loves cooking with you

like fuck it if it’s not that tasty he just LUUUVES doing it with you

probably because he gets to hug you a lot

like you’re in the stove and he had already placed everything in its own place so he goes behind your figure, hugs your waist and places his lips on your shoulder to give you tiny pecks and praise your cooking

“junmy this is practically burnt” “you’re the best cooker i know”

once you guys were enjoying a whole ass week together and the last time you were together for more than a day were like 6 months before

you were so all over each other he went to do the same thing and you guys ended up making out in front of a precooked pan of french fries

long story short, your toasted it and only saw that coming bcs jun went to embrace your waist and his fingers touched the hot pan

“that happened bcs of you and your teenager behavior” “YOU COULD’VE MOVED” “I WAS TRAPPED”

so guess what you did after you applied some salve om his fingers

he was staring @ u all 💖💖💖💖💖

you were like ,,,what

he just shrugged and murmured “you’re beautiful”

that’s right

you fucked

not fucked in a Fucked way

yall made love

kim junmyeon is all about luv

i remember someone posting here that he probably fucked like white people and i-

that person ruined it for me

i hate yall

i will defend him till the end of time my boi DOES NOT fuck like a white person

takes it very seriously as he sees it as an opportunity to shower u with the love u deserve

on that day you actually convinced him you should do the hard work

HELL YEAH YOU RODE THAT BITCH

jun seems like soft dom for me like just bcs he’s in charge for most of the time doesn’t mean youon get to do a thing

that time as you rode him you got very like Very excited but you saw in his eyes how desperate he was to touch you entirely so you catch his hand and kiss his fingertips slowly

he kept smiling for you saying “god you are so beautiful” “i love you so much”

but you’re a little shit and always tries and bring his rough side out

so you open your mouth and lick his two burnt finger from the knuckles to the tips

he got so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not really a vocal guy

heavy sighs and low groans are it for junmyeon

very into dirty talk

but a fancy one

“does my baby likes it when i make her beg?” “look at me, love. do you want it from where i can kiss your back or your breasts?” “you’re mine to take and no one else”

we don’t support women treated as objects but this is a sexual environment and you’ve always consented him to say things like that in bed

he’s a gentlemen fuck it

once you were so horny you straight up said “i don’t give a fuck about formality just make me cum at least three times”

he got 😳 for a sec but got your point

not a rough lover but once you get in a fight

bitch

you’re both pretty mature ppl so every rare time you fight it’s very Very serious

will kiss you until your both breathless just so you can not even catch your breath bcs he will be kissing your neck and liking your skin

slaps your butt?

absolutely

a fucking lot

“funny how you turn shut the fuck up as soon as i lay my hands on you”

makes you strip for him

has a thing for watching where your bodies connect

call him baby and he’s got a 3 secs tops soft jun

like a little grin with puffy cheeks

and he’s back with the restless pounding

bathtub aftercare is a must

massages your feet as you talk sweet nothings for him

if you’re feeling feisty might get a romantic round two

loves doing it slowly so he can drag it to the point you get so hot and bothered you beg

“oh god- just please- jun, faster”

likes it when you rub his back after

get a shot of soft myeonie post-sex

lays in his stomach and quietly asks “can you”

you lay there also on your stomach and rubbing his back drawing circles and talking about life

once he got so full of idk emotion?? love?? idk never been there

he just poured a whole “marry me”

like dude.

“WHAT” “not today, like... in a few years maybe idk forget it”

he closed his eyes to dismiss your reaction and just felt a warm peck on his naked shoulder

“of course i’ll marry you a few years”

his eyes shot open like This woman. the loml. dead ass said yes to my hypothetical proposal”

he actually got emotional

“kajsksjsksjsk really?????????v

“yes really”

and there was a teardrop

you felt like dying

i mean I feel like dying rn

doesn’t say it but thinks abt having kids someday

and u know that bcs honestly it’s suho everybody just Knows that

his parents? ofc they know you

exo? absolutely sure they know you

“one day we’re gonna have a dinner on like christmas with my family and yours” “baby they don’t even live in korea” “i don’t care we’ll pay” “STOP”

really treasures your relationship like i’m not here to play games i’m past mid-20’s this is Serious

and because he’s so worried and serious he nevers seems to let loose

which is probably normal since he’s a leader

but it makes him so !! all the time u get worried

once he actually CRIED out of stress

and you ofc were there

you kept hugging him tightly and slowly rocking his body with yours kissing his tears away as he kept softly saying “i’m fine, don’t worry”

you didn’t stop worrying

you said “if you’re fine then i can stay here hugging my boyfriend”

he nodded and kept sobbing for a little while

his head was pounding so you literally laid him down and cuddled him in your arms, fingers between his locks and hot breath on his neck

he once said the sound of your breath calmed him

so that’s what you did

you calmed him

and that’s everything he ever wanted

someone to be there for him on tough times like he’s always there for everyone

he loves the fact you’re always so calm and ready to solve any problem that appears

he loves the calmness and ““““normal”””” atmosphere you bring to him

after all those years of hardship and responsability

you showed him he could be a leader and have more fun on a daily basis

he deadass thinks abt your marriage

like it’s barely 6am, he wakes up and sees you sleeping next to him, hair everywhere on the pillow and mouth open

his heart goes 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

his arms goes to your sleeping body

& his mind “i’m gonna marry this girl someday”

idk i feel like i could write a whole ass fanfiction of 50 chapters on suho and id still have 100 scenarios of him in mind

i honestly love him sm

such a nice boy

he deserves so much more

give lota of love to him he’s perfect

that’s it i’m done

[coralstudiies]

Apart from selective hearing, how do u try and not be put fown by ppl like yr family and annoying ppl at sch, and focus on ur studies n be happy at the same time? It was easy in my younger days, now it requires substantial effort. How do b mentally happy n free, n be productive and study well too? Everyone thinks I can't make it to a junior college.

well for those people at school i’ll suggest outright ignoring them. by giving them a response you’re ‘rewarding’ their behavior and thus they’ll feel like continuing to do/say nasty things. as for parents, don’t argue or talk back (u know the drill lol sometimes its better to shut up) and just take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself.

tbh to be happy and free is like,, it rly lies in adjusting your own mindset bcos face it these kinda trash ppl are everywhere so you will never be in an environment in positive vibes only. sometimes you need to let go and i cant rly teach you how to do that bcos i think its smt that ppl have to learn for themselves.

now one issue you may face is worrying about such people and such comments. I’d say if this affects you, learn to guard and use your time. don’t spend like 1 hr dreading the moment when you have to meet/interact with them because that means your brain isnt focused and even worse, you’re trapping yourself in a perpetual state of tension which isnt good for your mental health. rather than letting negative ppl cloud your mind, try to strike up positive conversations with people around you, or just think happy thoughts or listen to your fav songs. it can be hard, but that’s because it’s not a habit yet. think of it as ‘trading’. whenever a negative thought enters your mind, exchange it for a positive one. it doesn’t even have to be related. for example: ‘oh man, felicia’s talking shit about me again’ turns into ‘hey, the weather’s pretty nice today!’ or ‘i feel like drinking bubble tea, i’ll get one for myself later’. make it a habit! it’s difficult but also rewarding. not just for your mental health, but also your grades (you wont be thinking about nasty ppl while you’re doing math problems which is already nasty enough HAHAHA)

another tip to counter negativity is to refocus your thoughts around these ppl. pay attention to and observe how your thoughts and mood change near these negative individuals. notice the telltale signs in your own brain that they’re going to ruin your day. and then squish it! it’s easier to think ‘ok, i know that nagging/horrible comments are inevitable, but rn i have a task at hand so i will not give it any thought’ if you know that you’re gonna start reacting to their presence. i assume you’ll be around such people most of the time, so in those periods of time, the less time you spend fretting, stressing and rehashing, the more time you’ll have to devote to actual productivity. it may be painful to directly tackle your negative thoughts (even more so when negative ppl are in the vicinity) but this one is rly crucial if you wanna get your work done. note the difference between this and the first: the first is when you find yourself worrying about such ppl even when you’re not around them, the second is when you have no choice but to be near them. also the second one has no ‘trade’ of thoughts so that you don’t distract yourself. learn which solution is the most appropriate for each scenario! you dont wanna compromise your productivity,

of course, you can always seek out positive people who genuinely care about you and love you and support you. at least your mind wont always be clouded by negativity, harsh, rude or discouraging words, and that might motivate you to study harder. 

like i said a lot of it is in the mind. you need to learn to let go -- of those ppl, their words and of yourself. like seriously i think it’s more important to let go of yourself. the more you torture yourself by letting them get to you (because these ppl will always be trying to get to you, and you rly have to try to not let that happen ok? i know it’s hard but tell yourself you’re a strong lady/man and your capabilities are not determined by someone else’s idea of you) the more you’re never gonna get out of this vicious cycle of self-pity. so start now, take things lightly, have a routine, form positive, self-care habits and then you’ll be on your way to better days and better grades  :^)

(anon im so sorry, i rly have not much ideas on how to help you because i relied a lot on this selective hearing so much that i numbed myself to negative and positive ppl lol HAHA but im sure you’ll be able to go JC ok! work hard and never give up! have faith! and if u need help you can always dm me or send asks)

[aspnspncr]

hi there guys! i am so so excited to join this group and i can’t wait to meet yall and plot with you! my name’s lily, i’m 19, n i’m currently in the est timezone. i love my mini dachshund, twix bars, and everything about my husband harry styles. anyway this is my bby aspen, she’s a brat but i love her! there’s more about her under the cut so if you want to plot or just talk about like… anything you can smash that like button, message me here or on my discord @𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐧𝐨. 𝟏#5964 !

( SABRINA CARPENTER, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) Oh hello, you must be ASPEN SPENCER it’s so nice to meet you. Is it true that you’re a SEVENTEEN year old LEGACY student and in your SIXTH YEAR? I should warn you, rumour has it you’re pretty DRAMATIC & MANIPULATIVE but I think you’re really CHARISMATIC & INTELLIGENT - people like to gossip around here, but you’ll find out for yourself. Let me show you to CHAMBERLAIN HALL.

ok aspen is.... a spoiled lil brat tbh

she was born in aspen, colorado, which is why she’s named aspen. her parents were on vacation from london when she was born.

her parents divorced when she was three and her mom moved back to her hometown of london when aspen was five. her mom has since made her way through a string of men but has not remarried. she still uses the title, although they are divorced. her mother’s a bit of a social climber, which annoys aspen to no end. 

her dad is like,, rich,,, but from titles. he doesn’t work, but has a lot of money based on this handed-down position. he’s the kind of guy to think designer clothes replaces a visit. not that aspen minds, honestly. she’s very close with her mom but she doesn’t really care about her dad besides the gifts he sends.

if aspen had a label, it would be the sovereign. i imagine her having a relatively high social status at bodley manor, and thinks of herself as a queen bee type. she definitely has been going to bodley as long as possible in order to get away from her family situation.

her social media is perfect. very aesthetic, follower ratio on point - she curates her feeds to perfection. i made a little page for her if you’re interested in checking it out - click here!!

i haven’t sent in her clubs/activities yet? oops. but i imagine her as a centre forward on the footie team, suiting her aggressive nature. she also plays tennis and is surprisingly good (years of training will do that). as far as clubs, she’s involved in ballet, dance, and events committee. 

she’s actually really smart?? but she chooses to hide it. she’d rather surprise people after they underestimate her. she does it a lot and it never fails to make her laugh. she also doesn’t really like the expectations and stereotypes that come with being a smart girl. she’d rather people think of her as cunning.

the only time she does use her smarts to her advantage is when she’s dragging people. she loves coming up with witty comebacks

the most manipulative person you will ever meet. will do or say anything to make you think she’s on your side. aspen is always looking out for number 1.

once she actually likes you though... she’s the most loyal person ever. this girl’s a ride or die

the icy front is honestly just an exterior. she keeps herself really guarded, mostly because she doesn’t want to be abandoned or hurt by someone she loves. inside... she’s a sweet sof bean tbh she just wants to be loved!! she’s a little bit of a nerd, a little goofy, and sweet. but you will never see that side of her unless you’re really close to her.

odds and ends: an eye rolling Queen. always wears at least one pink item (because her idol is elle woods from legally blonde and pink is her power color). secretly loves photography and the #aesthetic. dreams of going back to america for college. loves old movies, especially ones with audrey hepburn.

some wanted connections:

girl squad - just some ppl she rly vibes with, u know

exes - on good terms or bad, just could be super fun

fwb/ex-fwb - listen i love drama bring me the love interests

crush - bc u KNOW this lovey dovey bitch got one !! bonus points if its an opposites attract type situation

frenemies/rivals - bc aspen is DRAMATIC and honestly, she prob got a few of these!!

almost step-siblings - ok this sounds a lil weird but hear me out. so aspen’s mom is kind of a serial dater and hasn’t really settled down with anyone, but imagine if she almost did, and aspen and ur muse were set to be stepsiblings until the relationship fell through. did they hate each other or was it fun? lets figure it out!

anyway that’s pretty much it !!! message me if u want to plot i will luv u forever <3