#its been a while hope u like it!! i enjoyed drawing this. am still working on the others. its a very stressful time in my life rn tho.

[5piecechickendinner]

i would lov to see some engineer/pyro one day;; its oki if not of course!! i luvs your art <3

pyro deserves some love !!!!!

[tomb-of-madeline]

Hiiii!! I really enjoyed the bird daughters comic. I think its very creative and very neat but i also feel like theres a depth to it that i cant quite reach. I hope i dont sound too cliche or too stupid, but i really do want to know. What was the meaning behind it? What is the purpose of the message? For what reason did u create it? Its just a very unique kind of story, i think, and id like to know what inspired u and what are the hidden themes and motifs of it. Thank u!!

Thank you for reading and thinking about my comic! I am sure you are capable of understanding Bird Daughters and I value your thoughts and interpretations.

I’ll talk a little bit about what I was thinking while making this comic. Sometimes, my process is imagining a horrible little guy and then thinking about how she lives and what she does. That is the inspiration for Tern, the conflict of her monstrosity and her desires. Her ability to imagine the life she wants and her passivity about actually changing. I imagine her father as isolated and paranoid and surrounded only by his daughters. Daughters who have only passing interest in understanding the realities of their father’s subjects. I am thinking about a very lonely woman who fantasizes about having a boyfriend. I also wanted to make something with sex and violence after working on kids books for 5 years... I also like to draw monster women tormenting men...

My inspiration comes for a lot of sources, but more specifically I was doing a reread of wolf hall that was started after a reread of a place of greater safety. Which began after reading Rose of Versailles for the first time. I was also reading through the book of the new sun, and how can you not read that and want to make up your own horrible little guy.

Anyway, thank you for reading my ramblings, I will go get my MFA and return in a few years and be better at talking about themes and stuff. I’ve been very pleased by the response to this comic on here. It’s heartening to know that after all the years there are still a lot of people on tumblr who read and enjoy comics.

[elbertsbabygirl]

Title: Wounds of the heart

Nica X Y/n Reader

Note: Hello Robins I missed you all so much it's been A months since I started posting for Fanfiction story because of work I stopped posting for a while but I am here now to present on our new boy in our ikemen villians JP server I hope you enjoy our boy!! Love u all

A field hospital near the frontlines of the war between Germany and England. The sounds of distant gunfire and the occasional explosion can be heard outside, but within the tent, it’s quiet except for the soft rustling of bandages and the murmurs of the wounded.

Y/n is gently tending to the wounds of Nica Schwartz, a German soldier with a mix of pain and intrigue in his eyes. His face is marred by dirt and blood, but his gaze remains fixed on Y/n as she works.

Nica: (His voice is low, almost a whisper, as if testing the waters) "You’re far too kind for this place, Y/n. Someone like you shouldn’t be here, surrounded by all this death.

"Y/n: (She pauses, meeting his gaze with a mix of firmness and softness) "And what about you, Nica? You speak as if you’re any different. War has taken its toll on us all.

"Nica: (A ghost of a smile plays on his lips as he leans in slightly) "Perhaps. But I’ve never met someone like you. So gentle, yet strong. You make me forget, if only for a moment, that we’re on opposite sides of this madness."Y/n’s hands still for a brief second as she processes his words. She’s heard such lines before from soldiers trying to charm their way out of pain, but something about Nica’s tone is different—dangerously sincere.

Y/n: (A soft sigh escapes her as she resumes her work, her voice barely above a whisper) "This war… it’s not something we can forget, Nica. It’s always there, lurking in the background."

Nica: (His expression shifts, a flicker of something darker crossing his face before he softens again) "But what if, just for tonight, we pretended it wasn’t? Just for a few moments, Y/n… let’s be two people, not a nurse and a soldier. No England. No Germany. Just… us."

Y/n feels a tug at her heart, but she’s wary, knowing that Nica’s words could be just another game. Still, the way he looks at her, as if she’s the only thing keeping him tethered to humanity, stirs something deep within her.

Y/n: (She finishes bandaging his wound and meets his gaze, her voice tender yet firm) "You speak as if we have a choice, Nica. But we don’t. Not really. The war will always be there, between us."

Nica: (He reaches out, gently taking her hand in his, his thumb brushing over her knuckles as he speaks with a mix of sincerity and something more elusive) "Maybe. But I’ve never been one to follow the rules. And I think, deep down, neither are you."

Y/n’s heart skips a beat at his touch, and despite the alarm bells ringing in her mind, she doesn’t pull away. There’s something about Nica that draws her in, like a moth to a flame. She knows she should be cautious, but in this moment, all she feels is the warmth of his hand in hers.

Y/n: (Her voice is soft, almost hesitant) "Nica… I…

"Nica leans in closer, his voice a hushed whisper that sends shivers down Y/n’s spine.

Nica: "Just for tonight, Y/n. Let’s forget the world outside this tent. Let’s just be…

"The tension in the air is palpable as Y/n’s mind races. She knows she should step back, remind herself of the boundaries, but something in Nica’s eyes holds her there, teetering on the edge of something she can’t quite name.

Y/n: (She finally whispers, her voice barely audible) "Just for tonight…"

As the words leave her lips, Nica’s grip tightens slightly on her hand, a silent promise of something more, something dangerous yet alluring. And in that moment, as the world outside continues to burn, Y/n and Nica are just two souls seeking solace in each other’s presence, if only for a fleeting moment.

The night deepens, and the sounds of war outside become a distant hum. Inside the tent, the soft glow of a lantern casts flickering shadows on the canvas walls. Y/n and Nica sit close, their hands still entwined, the tension between them thickening with every passing second.

Nica: (He tilts his head slightly, his voice low and almost teasing) "Tell me, Y/n, have you ever thought about what you’d do when this is all over? When the war is just a memory?

Y/n: (She hesitates, her eyes searching his, trying to decipher his intentions) "I… I haven’t allowed myself to think that far ahead. It seems almost impossible to imagine a life beyond this."

Nica: (He leans closer, his breath warm against her skin as he speaks, his tone more serious now) "You should. A woman like you deserves to dream of something better. A life where you’re not surrounded by blood and pain."

Y/n feels a pang in her chest, a reminder of the harsh reality she’s living in. But Nica’s words, though seductive, are also tinged with a sadness that tugs at her heart.

Y/n: (She tries to pull back, to distance herself from the emotions swirling inside her, but Nica’s grip on her hand tightens, keeping her close) "And what about you, Nica? Do you dream of a life beyond the war?"

Nica: (His eyes darken slightly, a shadow passing over his face) "I used to. Before… everything. But now… my dreams feel as distant as the stars. Perhaps that’s why I find myself here, with you. You make me feel like there might still be something worth dreaming about."

Y/n’s breath catches in her throat at his words. She knows she should be wary, that Nica’s intentions might not be as pure as they seem. But there’s something in his voice, a vulnerability that she can’t ignore.

Y/n: (Her voice is soft, almost pleading) "Nica… I don’t know if I can trust you. We’re on opposite sides of this war. How can we even think about… anything beyond this moment?"

Nica: (He leans in, his forehead almost touching hers, his voice a hushed whisper filled with an intensity that sends shivers down her spine) "Trust is a fragile thing, Y/n. But I’m willing to take the risk, if you are. Let’s leave the war outside this tent. Just for tonight, let’s pretend…"

Y/n closes her eyes, feeling the warmth of Nica’s presence, the steady beat of his heart through his chest. She knows this is dangerous, that she’s treading on thin ice. But the way he looks at her, with a mix of desperation and hope, makes her want to believe in the possibility of something more.

Y/n: (Her voice is barely a whisper, filled with a mix of fear and longing) "What are we doing, Nica?"

Nica: (He gently cups her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek as he looks deeply into her eyes, his voice soft and sincere) "We’re holding onto the only thing that feels real in this madness. Each other."

For a moment, everything else fades away—the war, the pain, the uncertainty. All that exists is the two of them, caught in a moment of shared vulnerability and the flickering hope of something beyond the horrors of war.

Y/n’s heart races, her emotions a tangled mess of fear, desire, and the yearning for something more than the life she’s known. And in that moment, she makes a decision—a small, quiet one, but one that will change everything.

Y/n: (Her voice trembles slightly as she speaks, her heart in her words) "Just for tonight, Nica… let’s pretend."

Nica’s eyes soften, a rare, genuine smile curving his lips as he leans in and presses a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead. The gesture is tender, almost reverent, and it makes Y/n’s heart ache with the realization of how much she’s come to care for this enigmatic, dangerous man.

Nica: (His voice is a whisper against her skin) "Just for tonight."

And as the night stretches on, Y/n allows herself to fall into the fantasy, if only for a few fleeting hours, knowing that when the dawn breaks, they will both have to face the harsh realities of the world outside. But for now, in the safety of the tent, they have each other—and for tonight, that is enough.

LOVE MAKING SCENE!! ( MINORS DON'T INTERACT SKIP THIS!!)

The night has grown quieter, with the distant sounds of the war almost completely muffled. Inside the tent, the lantern's soft glow bathes Y/n and Nica in a warm, golden light. They sit close together, their hands still entwined, hearts beating in sync as the tension between them reaches its peak.Y/n can feel the weight of Nica’s gaze on her, his eyes filled with a mixture of emotions—desire, tenderness, and something deeper, something that she’s been trying to ignore but can no longer deny.

Nica: (His voice is low, filled with an emotion he’s no longer trying to hide) "Y/n… I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re… everything I never knew I needed."

His words send a shiver down Y/n’s spine. She knows she should be cautious, that she’s walking a dangerous path, but she can’t stop the way her heart leaps at his confession. Her breath hitches as Nica’s hand gently cups her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek with a tenderness that makes her chest tighten.

Y/n: (Her voice is barely a whisper, filled with both fear and longing) "Nica… this is crazy. We shouldn’t…"

Nica: (He leans in closer, his forehead resting against hers as he speaks softly, his breath warm against her lips) "I know. But I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to think about what we should or shouldn’t do. I just want to be here, with you."

Y/n’s heart races, her resolve crumbling as she feels the warmth of Nica’s touch, the sincerity in his voice. She’s tried to resist, to keep her emotions in check, but in this moment, with the world outside forgotten, all she can think about is him.Slowly, almost hesitantly, Nica closes the small gap between them. His lips hover over hers for a brief, agonizing second, giving Y/n a moment to pull away, to stop this before it goes any further. But instead, she finds herself leaning in, closing the distance, her eyes fluttering shut as their lips finally meet.The kiss is soft at first, tentative, as if both are afraid to fully give in. But as the seconds pass, the tension and longing that have been building between them finally break free. Nica’s hand slides to the back of Y/n’s neck, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss with a desperation that matches the pounding of his heart.Y/n melts into him, her hands slipping up to his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his uniform as she loses herself in the kiss. All the fear, the doubts, the war—all of it fades away, leaving only the two of them, connected in a moment of pure, unfiltered emotion.Nica’s kiss is filled with a passion that takes Y/n’s breath away, his lips moving against hers with an intensity that leaves her dizzy. She can feel the depth of his emotions in every movement, every touch—this is not just a kiss; it’s a confession, a plea, a promise.Y/n’s heart swells with emotions she can no longer deny. She’s falling, and she knows it, but she can’t bring herself to stop. Not now. Not when Nica is holding her like she’s the only thing keeping him grounded, like she’s his last link to humanity in a world gone mad.As the kiss deepens, Nica pulls her even closer, his other hand wrapping around her waist, holding her as if he’s afraid she might disappear. Y/n responds in kind, her own arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him in as if trying to fuse them together, to make this moment last forever.

Time seems to stand still as they pour everything they’ve been feeling into the kiss—every fear, every hope, every longing they’ve kept hidden. It’s as if the world outside has ceased to exist, and all that matters is the two of them, lost in each other.Finally, after what feels like both an eternity and no time at all, they slowly pull back, their foreheads still pressed together, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Y/n’s heart is pounding, her lips tingling from the intensity of the kiss, but she doesn’t pull away. Neither does Nica.

Nica: (His voice is hoarse, filled with raw emotion as he speaks, his lips brushing against hers as he does) "Y/n…"

Y/n doesn’t let him finish. Instead, she closes the distance again, pressing her lips to his in a kiss that’s just as desperate, just as full of love as the first. She’s no longer thinking, no longer worrying about the consequences. All she knows is that she needs this—needs him.They kiss again and again, each one more passionate than the last, as if trying to make up for all the time they’ve spent denying their feelings. Y/n can feel the love in every touch, every caress, and she knows, deep down, that this moment is real. This love is real.When they finally break apart again, both are breathless, their hearts racing, but neither pulls away. Nica rests his forehead against hers, his breath warm and uneven as he speaks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Nica: "I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, Y/n. But right now, I know that I love you."

Y/n’s eyes well up with tears at his words, and she can’t help but smile through them. She’s scared—terrified, even—but in this moment, she knows she feels the same.

Y/n: (Her voice is soft, filled with all the love she’s been holding back) "I love you too, Nica. I think… I always have."

And with that, they kiss again, sealing their confessions with the kind of love that can only be born in the midst of chaos. For tonight, at least, they have each other—and that’s all they need.

With that, they settle back into each other’s arms, holding on tightly as if afraid to let go. The night continues to stretch on, but for Y/n and Nica, time has lost its meaning. All that matters now is their love and the promise they’ve made to each other.As they drift off to sleep, their fingers still intertwined, the outside world fades away, leaving only the two of them—two souls bound together by love, determined to fight for their future, no matter the cost.

I hope you guys enjoyed This I love you guys so much and I promise to make it up to you all to post more fanfics🥰

Taglist: @lilaccosmic @sh0jun @natimiles @judejazza @candiedcoffeedrops

[tomatoart]

mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great 

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light  

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL” 

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

[3terna15unshin3]

Then Because She Goes

When you leave, I cry on the inside

★ Chapter 11 of 15, 5082 words

★ Matty Healy x Original Female Character

★ warnings: !!! mature content, minors please do not interact !!!, smut, thigh riding, edging

<< 10

9 June, 2019

“Fuck,” Este cursed, as a loud sound in the flat below hers caused her to spill a drop of tea on her pants. She quickly wiped it away and got up to grab her beloved Tide pen—drawing on the spot to prevent any staining.

With a film on the TV, it was a quiet morning and a relaxing day off for her. She stayed in comfy clothes, hair tucked away messily in a clip, not worrying about work or bills needing to be paid or how desperately her room needed tidying. Her body had been stationary for most of the morning. It was a deserved laziness, in her opinion. But, a buzz from her phone signalled an incoming text, interrupting her and her tea once more.

matty <3

Sun, 9 Jun at 10:59 AM

Attachment: 1 Image

Thinking of you x

It was a photo of a small yellow origami star. He held it delicately between his thumb and middle finger, raising it up in the air in front of his hotel window. Este could see the architecture of the city he stayed in in the background. Germany, I think, she considered, though she couldn’t remember which city.

Sun, 9 Jun at 11:00 AM

Xx

:((((((((

Why the sad face

You’re getting all sappy on me and i miss you

Am I being too sweet for your liking??

Yea like chill for a sec

I’m smiling at my phone and everything

Soz x

But you’ve got me doing little crafts alone in my hotel room just because they remind me of you so maybe you should chill

Or maybe be less chill bc why are you never sappy or sweet with me ????? Hm???

hey I’m sweet !!!!!!!!!! Don’t be rude

The star thing is like painfully cute tho how do you expect me to top that

--- 22 June, 2019

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 18:35 PM

Hey, I know it’s been hard lately and that you’ve been busy writing but this poem makes me happy and I think you need some hope at the moment

Attachment: 1 Image

Maybe you’ve heard of it already or will think it’s too simple but it's what I want to say to u :)

Matty’s heavy eyes stared at the bright blue light of his screen. The band were closing out on their sixth month of touring, and his head had gotten a bit cloudy. Desperate to get Notes On A Conditional Form out as soon as possible, any free moments they had were spent writing and recording. He poured so much of himself during every show and even more into every song written that not much was left when he was on his own. It was nonstop. Slumps like this were bound to occur while on the road, and now that Matty had healthier ways of coping with them, they weren’t as big of a deal. But they were still there, eating away at his energy—blurring the lines of his self esteem and self hatred.

The poem Este attached was “The Orange” by Wendy Cope. He hadn’t heard of it before. So, he read the words quietly to himself.

“At lunchtime I bought a huge orange—the size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave—they got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do. Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park. This is peace and contentment. It's new.

The rest of the day was quite easy. I did all the jobs on my list and enjoyed them and had some time over. I love you. I'm glad I exist.”

Este was right about it being simple. But it was its simplicity that made Matty feel it deeply in his stomach. If he’d been sent such words by any other person in the world, it might have felt patronising—but coming from her, it made sense. There wasn’t anything that he loved more than things, art, that commanded him how to feel. Este knew that. And the words she sent commanded him to find light in the simple things. To bask in the innocence of life. To realise that if he isn’t happy, he’s just human. Fleeting moments of beauty are what matter. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

Este ★

Sat, 22 Jun at 19:00 PM

Please never stop sending me stuff

Reading the line “I’m glad I exist” felt so important

Because I am

Especially with you around x

--- 1 July, 2019

Luckily, flying from Stockholm back to Manchester wasn’t very far. So, it was easy for Matty to get on a plane to catch Este’s 28th birthday between his shows. He was a day early, but it was the only chance he had to come see her—so he took it. And somehow managed to keep it a surprise.

With Cate’s help, Matty followed through with his plan to Uber to their flat as soon as he landed; to drop off his stuff, grab food, and set up birthday decorations before walking over to Greenhouse to see Este. A bouquet of variously coloured tulips with brown paper surrounding it was cradled in his arms as he made his way. The sun peeked through the partly cloudy sky, beaming down on his tired state. He shook the nerves out and reached for the door handle.

The familiar chime caught him by surprise, as the seven months it had been since he’d last stepped into the shop forced him to forget that they were there. It brought Este’s attention to the front from her spot in the back corner where she was shelving. Sam poked his head out from the back room in curiosity.

“I heard an ‘Este Manansala’ turns 28 tomorrow…” Matty announced sarcastically before she realised who he was. The look on her face once she did was priceless.

“Oh my god. Shut up,” muttered Este as she weaved through the cramped furniture to embrace him excitedly. A giddy and uncontrollably happy laugh came from her belly had Matty leaned back while they hugged to lift her feet off the orange carpet.

“Happy Birthday, love.” he whispered in her ear before putting her down. Este tried to wipe the dumb smile on her face but failed. She kissed him instead.

Matty tasted like cigarette smoke and smelt of the flowers he held. The month between their last kiss didn’t stop her from recognizing the familiar shape of his lips when they were against hers. It lingered long and deep. They sighed into each other with satisfaction.

“What are you doing here? You’re mad,” reacted Este when they pulled away.

“To take you out on your birthday.” His hand remained on her cheek as he responded, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin. “And by ‘take you out’ I mean take you to the food I’ve put on your dining room table.”

“Have you already been by my flat?”

Matty nodded. “Went straight there after I landed. We boarded early, so Cate said I almost caught you before you left.” He laughed at the dumbfounded look on Este’s face as she struggled to accept the fact that he was real and face-to-face with her. His arms extended to shove the flowers into her grasp. Tulips were her favourite.

“Are you going to introduce me?” His finger pointed at Sam. “Or will you just stare at me with your mouth open right in front of your boss?”

She snapped out of it and turned to face the blond shop owner.

“Gosh, I’m sorry. Sam, this is Matty. My, um, my—”

“Nice to meet you, mate. I’ve been in here a couple times over the years and seen you then, but I’m glad to be formally introduced, I guess,” interrupted Matty.

It was a bit odd that he cut her off so quickly, as the timing allowed her to almost hear his fear of the topic—audibly in his voice. Her smile faltered slightly as the two men made small talk, and she spiralled silently about what she could’ve said. I should’ve just stopped at ‘This is Matty,’ instead of trying to explain who he is, thought Este. Did Matty think I was going to say he was my boyfriend? Do I want him to be my boyfriend? Does the idea of me thinking he’s my boyfriend scare him?

Her ears perked and she snapped back into the conversation when Matty mentioned that they should be taking off soon.

“Food might be getting cold by now, E. We should get going,”

“Matty, it’s half two.” She looked over at Sam for confirmation that she couldn’t just leave in the middle of her shift, but was met with a smug smile instead.

“Go on.” he encouraged with little explanation.

“Who’s going to look after the—“

“Oliver’s on his way. He wanted extra hours this week anyway.”

Guilt settled into Este’s chest. “You didn’t have to call him in and make him rush over just for me, Sam. I feel terrible,”

“I didn’t call him in. I put him down for a three o’clock start when I made his schedule last month.” Sam reassured, as he came around the counter to stand in front and lean on it. He crossed his arms, waiting for Este to accept that he had been in on the plan to let her off early.

But, she didn’t let down. “Then why would you schedule me as well?”

“Jesus Christ Este, to surprise you! Now please leave, I’m begging. I can’t take this any longer,” Sam said while laughing in her face and forcing her towards the door. “Happy early birthday.”

“How long have you had this planned?” asked Este, turning to Matty and waiting for a response.

“A while. Any more questions, or can we go?”

-

Este’s arm tangled within Matty’s as they walked the few blocks back home along the pavement. Her work bag was slung over his shoulder as she held the tulips and sniffed them occasionally for the comfort of their fresh smell. Now that the shock had disappeared and she had the time to fully take in his appearance, Este smiled at his outfit. The Vans tied round his feet were paired with a bright and fitted graphic tee, tucked into high-waisted green trousers.

“You’re staring at me.”

A giggle escaped her lips as her and Matty turned down her street and approached her flat. “Am I not allowed to?” she argued.

He shrugged, with a smile. “I don’t mind. Just want to know why.”

“Dunno, really. You’re just pretty. And I like your outfit.”

Her keys jingled when she pulled them out of her pocket to let them into the building. As they stepped in and through the next couple of doors, soon finding and pressing the ‘up’ button for the lift, Matty said, “You know, you’d think I’d be weird about you calling me ‘pretty’, but it actually felt quite nice.”

“I can call you ‘pretty’ more often, if you want. I think of it all the time, so I’d just have to start letting you know when I do,” Este suggested, turning her doorknob and entering her place.

There was a banner of letters that spelled out ‘happy birthday’ delicately strung across the wall that sat above the dining room table. The decoration was slightly crooked, but colourful and iridescent—so the sun pouring in through the window bounced off of them and shone glittery reflections all over the room. Floaty balloons were trapped against the ceiling with their strings hanging downwards at different lengths. A vase of water was the centrepiece, ready to be the home for the tulips that Este still held as she looked around. Her eyes travelled to everything else littered on the table; noticing the handful of tall tapered candles whose colours matched that of the flowers, confetti scattered across the surface of the stained wood, a bottle of wine, and a couple of takeaway bags.

A nervous Matty stood behind and waited for her to say something. When silence remained, as she continued to search for ways to thank him, he filled the space by slinging his arm around her shoulder and rubbing it gently.

Bringing his face next to hers, Matty asked, “Do you like it?” and pecked her temple.

“Does the general public know that you’re this soft of a bloke?”

He shook his head at her inability to take things seriously. “They’ll catch on eventually.”

Este laughed and turned to him, grabbing his chin, pulling it towards her to give him a kiss on the cheek back. “It’s perfect. You have a good eye,”

“Cate helped pick everything out. I’m not the best decorator. But she was busy dealing with the helium tank to fill all the balloons so I ended up laying everything out by myself in a rush. That’s why it looks a bit shit.” Matty explained, pointing at the crooked letters on the wall.

“Stop it,” she insisted, unwrapping the tulips to dip their stems in the vase and complete the decor. “There’s nothing ‘shit’ about you. It would’ve been enough even if you’d shown up empty handed and sat on the sofa with me all night.”

Stepping closer to the table to copy her, Matty unpacked the food he’d ordered for them. He uncorked the bottle and poured a glass of wine for each of them. She sat down, getting comfortable and increasingly hungry as her stomach rumbled. Hearing its noises and laughing, the two of them dug in.

Once their plates were scraped clean, Matty threw out a “Room for cake?” while a smile sat on his face, knowing they were both too stuffed to even sniff something sweet.

She cradled her full belly, slouching in her chair. “I can’t bring myself to turn down cake but I’m frightened that like, anatomically, it won’t fit in here.”

Matty got up and walked to the fridge to fetch it anyway. “Let's just do the whole ‘sing and blow out the candles’ thing. We can eat it later.”

The white box was set on the table. He let her open the lid and slide out the dessert herself. It was a small heart-shaped cake with light green and white piped icing, reading ‘Happy 28th Este’ across the top. Bright maraschino cherries lined its edge. She grinned at how perfect and delicate it was. A 2 and an 8 candle were peeled out of their package by Matty, who stuck them into the icing, getting a bit on his finger in the process and licking it. Once a match was struck and the wicks were ignited, Matty sang the classic song to her gently.

“Happy birthday to you,” he finished with the last line, maintaining eye contact from across the table.

Este’s brown irises glowed a honey colour from the warmth of the flickering fire, while her cheeks ached from the smile plastered onto it that refused to leave. Looking down to the cake to avoid confronting Matty’s phone that now pointed up at her as he took a picture, she paused to make a wish. He admired her through his screen. A couple of seconds passed before she finally blew out the flames.

As expected, they couldn’t bear the idea of eating a slice. So, they packed it up into its box and placed it back in her fridge, continuing to clean their lunchtime mess, collecting the dishes in the sink and tucking their seats in. But, Matty knew that the corny birthday celebrations weren’t over just yet—he still had her small pile of wrapped presents sat next to his bag, which he then picked up and brought over.

“You really didn’t need to get me anything. All of this is so great already,” she complained, guilty that she hadn’t done anything for his birthday, and gesturing to everything he’d done so far.

They found comfort on her fluffy sofa as he shook his head.

“It’s just something small. Don’t worry.” reassured Matty, who set the three rectangular gifts in her lap. They were similar in shape and size, individually & messily wrapped in patterned paper. He watched as Este’s apprehensive fingertips ripped through the material and revealed what was beneath it.

Of course they’re books, she thought, smiling at how predictable the two of them were. But, what she saw next caught her by surprise. As the other two got unwrapped, Este came to realise that they were all books she had been desperate to read. The shock came from the fact that she hadn’t ever mentioned the titles to Matty, and that as she flipped through them, they were written in. Sticky tabbed, underlined, and starred lines jumped out to catch her attention. Her mouth remained agape for a minute.

“How did you know that I’ve been wanting these?”

“Just looked at that app you showed me during Big Weekend. Came in handy,” he explained. “I picked the five from your ‘to read’ list that seemed the most interesting to me but only ended up getting to finish these three.”

“See, I told you it’s useful.” She laughed in disbelief as she inspected each novel. “Did you really read all of these and write in them for me?”

Matty nodded, grabbing one and looking through it himself. “They’re all great. Helped quiet down my thoughts, I think, since they’ve been too loud lately. Plus, they’re kind of like letters—everything I marked as important or stand-out, and every note I wrote in the margins was done with you in mind. Written for you. It made it fun,”

Este pulled him in for an embrace, squeezing him with delight. A couple of repeated pecks landed on his cheek.

“This is so thoughtful of you, Matty. I don’t know what to say,”

He kissed her once she finished speaking. Her lips had a minty flavour to them.

“So what did you wish for? When you blew out your candles?” Matty wondered aloud, while turning sideways and crossing his legs over one another, to face her fully.

Este copied him. “It won’t come true if I tell you,” she defended, “But there is something I was thinking of getting for my birthday.”

“And what’s that?”

“Do you know of a good piercer around here?”

-

Less than ten minutes later, Matty and Este found themselves walking side by side into the heart of downtown Manchester. Affleck’s was their destination; and the journey was short and sweet. She’d explained to him that she loved the adrenaline of getting pierced and was in the mood for some change. Since The Studio, the piercing and tattoo parlour within the beloved market, took walk-ins, they wasted no time before heading out of the flat with determination.

It was the early evening on a Monday, so there weren’t many people around, and there wasn’t a wait to get seen by a piercer. A couple of waivers were signed before Este winced in pain from the needle going through the cartilage between her nostrils.

Matty held her hand while it happened and hissed painfully alongside her as she squeezed his fingers to brace herself. The minute he complained that she was hurting him, Este gave him a death stare as the needle still sat in her nose and the piercer prepared the jewellery for insertion. Clearly her pain was a bit more intense than his. He got the message.

After it was done, she was handed a mirror to take a look. Este liked the symmetry of the new silver hoop that went through her septum; how it balanced out the weight of the plethora of jewellery stacked on either of her ears. She grinned at her reflection.

“I love it, thank you so much!” said Este, to the piercer. She then looked over to Matty, waiting for his opinion. He reached out to flick a piece of fluff out of her hair, lovingly.

“You’re like my little bull.”

There were stars in his eyes.

With their mission accomplished, they wandered around the rest of the shops without any intention of buying anything else. Her arm was linked with his. They pointed at mannequins clad in heinous clothing to make fun of them and people watched.

“Want to see something funny?” asked Matty as they approached a stairwell far too familiar to him.

“Depends on what it is.”

He dragged her up the first flight and Este’s eyes scanned over its walls. Every inch was covered in posters. A certain one caught her eye, and she instantly knew what he was referencing. Young Ross, Adam, Matty, and George were displayed on an angsty black and white poster near the floor, casually accompanied by ones of David Bowie, The Smiths, and Bob Dylan. Este couldn’t help but laugh at how different Matty looked in the dramatically contrasted shot.

“My god, look at the state of your hair!” she teased.

“A lot of people actually want me to bring the shaved sides back, you know.”

She stepped back and held her phone up, gesturing for him to pose for a picture next to the silly anecdote, still laughing. “I can’t even recall how many times I’ve walked up these stairs without even noticing your little face down there.”

Matty kept a straight face and held up his hand in a thumbs-down position for her photo. “I like to come here whenever I’m in town and have the time to. Seems to get smaller every time.”

“Okay, granddad.”

-

Their legs grew tired of sauntering around with no objective, so soon enough, they collapsed back onto Este’s sofa. She lazily put something random on the telly and sprawled her legs across Matty’s lap—laying down while he sat upward. Rhythmic circles were traced onto the skin right above her ankles by his fingertips as they happily relaxed in the privilege of doing nothing, but together. The lack of plans helped them appreciate every minute passing; how they somehow seemed to pass by slower and feel sweeter as they sat in each other’s company.

In need of the toilet, Este forced herself to leave the nestled position they’d spent the recent hours in. The chill enveloping Matty after her body warmth was no longer draped across him made him frown. But, she came back quickly, and wasn’t even gone long enough to need to ask him what she’d missed on the episode of Bake Off that flashed on her TV screen.

Returning to Matty and the sofa, she decided to sit on top of him. Her knees were on either side of his hips. He smirked at her forward and suddenly bold demeanour as his hands found themselves on Este’s arse. They were comfortable there.

“Have a good wee?” Matty asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, great actually. Thanks.” Her fingers combed through the long and shaggy section of his hair, near the front, to part it down the centre and tuck the curls behind his ears. Seeing more of his face was the goal in her action. “You look pretty.” she repeated, from earlier. Matty’s smirk morphed into a closed-mouth smile at the sound of her niceties.

“I feel pretty with you on top of me.” he retaliated, suspending the suggestive mood she initiated.

Este’s hands remained on either side of his neck when he brought her lips down to meet his. They moved against one another delicately, but both wanted more. It was only a matter of time before the lust between them escalated the heat of the moment. So, she deepened their kiss, pulling Matty in closer and shifting her hips to feel more of him and humming in the process. She winced when his nose brushed against hers and her fresh piercing, but it didn’t stop her.

The friction she created over his bulge made him groan. He pinched the skin at her waist with greed as his hands crept beneath her top. It only encouraged Este to continue with her fluid movements, his pants growing tighter.

As much as Matty wanted to revel in the pleasure of his girl hovering above him—one of his favourite places for her to be—he considered the fact that it was her birthday. Her day. The thought made him want to try something new.

“Can I make you feel good?” he whispered, breaking their lips apart for air and to squeeze his question into the muggy air.

She nodded against him, beginning to climb off of his lap to lay on her back; assuming Matty wanted to go down on her. But, he stopped her before she could. Instead, he just sat up straighter, nearer to the edge of the cushion beneath them, and used his hands to position her straddle over only one of his legs. He wanted Este to ride his thigh.

They didn’t bother taking off any of their clothes. His hands guided her back and forth, her eyes fluttering shut in indulgence as the seam of her shorts and the pressure of his leg pressed against her clit. She bit back a moan with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

“Let me hear you, E.” encouraged Matty. Obliging, the next roll of her hips dragged a string of profanity out of her throat. “That’s better.”

The tightness in her lower stomach grew. Hot breath cycled between them as they breathed through their mouths during the lulls that found their lips no longer tangled together. Este could feel his hard-on when the top of her thigh came forward to graze it, growing wetter and closer to her climax by the second. She was a mess, and putty in Matty’s hands.

His eyes were glued to her. The way she moved and moaned his name with determination drove him insane, and made it hard for him to ignore the throbbing in his pants. Her face dropped into his neck, scratching at his skin softly with her teeth as she whined.

“Harder,” Este muttered, clearly getting close. He listened to her command and used his hands to bring her heat along his leg with aggression. The increased force made her cry out into him, head still hidden beneath his jaw.

Matty let her moans heighten in pitch, feeling her start to shake against him. But, suddenly, his hands slowed down her movements. “No,” he told her, “Not yet.”

Cruelly, he deprived her of the feeling she was chasing. A gentler and slower pace continued, much to Este’s dismay, as she quietly begged for more.

“Matty, please,” fell from her lips with desperation.

In response, he began building up the pressure, but at a snail’s pace. Her hips buckled forward in attempts for any pleasure she could get.

“Ask me one more time, baby.”

Her thick hair fell around her face, sticking to her sweaty skin as her head spun. “I need to come. Please, let me,” she forced out to him between her heavy breathing, and as soon as Matty heard her words, he tightened his grip and encouraged her hips to move faster. The sudden boom of resistance on her sensitive core drew more noises from her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Este could almost see stars. Only a couple seconds of him grinding her against him and uttering filth into her ear finally brought her to her orgasm, the convulsed muscles in her abdomen releasing their pressure. A wet patch soaked through her shorts and onto Matty’s when she moaned his name. The two of them slowed to a stop to catch their breath and kiss hungrily once more. A giddy expression couldn’t be wiped from her face if she tried.

When she gained a bit of her composure back, still sat on Matty’s lap, she took note of the almost concerning amount of sweat that encompassed their skin and the now dirty clothing they were wearing. “I think I need a shower,” Este decided.

Matty scoffed. “You’re going to leave and take a shower? When this is what you did to me?” he pointed to his crotch in disbelief. He was painfully hard.

Giggling and with a shrug, she responded, “Then come with.”

--- 2 July, 2019

That night, they washed the perspiration off of each other (after the shower head Este promised) and threw on comfy clothes. Both exhausted, they planned on climbing into her bed—but when Matty caught The Goonies popping up on the TV out in the lounge, they ended up staying awake.

Not for much longer, though. They must have only seen ten minutes of the cult classic film before dozing off and spending the night with their jumbled limbs squished together on the sofa. Aching muscles were a theme of the morning that followed.

It was reasonably early when they woke. Matty remembered to wish Este happy birthday the minute he learned she was conscious, showering her face in playful pecks. She didn’t want to do anything more with her day though, and thought yesterday was kind enough for him to plan. A quiet day in with Matty by her side was what she wanted. So they did exactly that, and stayed round her flat to do more nothings. It was peaceful. It was needed.

The annoying thing was that Este didn’t allow him to smoke in the house. When it was a joint, cracking a window was fine—as she frequently did so herself—but she forced him to take his cigarettes outside. As Matty needed another one, she followed him down, to soak up all of him she could get.

But, in the back of her mind, Este knew she was looking for a moment to be serious with him. Have a conversation about what had been fogging her conscience since he surprised her at Greenhouse the previous day.

Leaning against the wall of her building while he took a drag next to her, she mustered up the courage.

“So,” she started quietly, “Do you see other people?”

12 >>

[pigefox]

11/30/2012 ... 11/30/2022

It’s been ten years.

Let’s see how we compare.

2012

2022

What’s wrong with you right now?

I have fallen and I can’t get up

Work in seven hours, and I am awake.

Are you mean?

can’t do mean 

Sometimes. 

What movie did you last see in the theater?

I think it was Dark Shadows…

I couldn’t even say.

Do you think that you’re a good person?

Sometimes… though I’d like to believe everyone has a good person in them.

We’re a work in progress. 

Do you like to hold or be held?

It really depends… xD I like to hold when I know it’s appreciated, and I can say that much is true.

To hold.

Are you listening to music right now?

The Honey Trees - “Love and Loss” on my lullaby playlist. ^u^

Silence. It is midnight.

Is there something that happened in your past that you really hate talking about?

Humm… I keep a lot to myself, but there’s a lot of things I don’t like talking about.

I talk a lot about the past nowadays. But there are still some things I keep to myself.

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?

Nope… xD

One person, and it made my heart soar.

What do you want in your life right now?

I just want to keep living… to keep enjoying things. I want to be happy and healthy… :)

To do better.

Do you think skydiving would be sweet or terrifying?

For  one who’s horrified of heights, probably terrifying… but in an exciting kind of way. xDD

Terrifying.

Are you currently missing someone?

Every now and then.

Yeah.

Smoke or drink?

Smoking: never. Drinking: not something I’ve tried yet, but I feel like I need a reason to do it.

No smoke. Yes drink. Not my best moment. But, I’m cutting back.

Are you smart?

Smart has a broad meaning… smartass maybe. :P

All circumstantial.

Waiting for?

A bunch of things. But I’m a patient person.

A lot of things to just figure themselves out. But I know I need to do my part, too.

If you could own a non-traditional pet, what would it be?

One of these beauties.

Dragonflies.

Do you find it easier to forgive or forget?

To forgive. You can’t just forget something. It’ll always be there. Sometimes, it’s better to hold onto things you feel like you need to forget. Lessons of learning.

Neither are easy. Neither are necessary.

Would you ever stay with someone just because you didn’t want to break their heart?

I follow my own heart. I know what’s best for me.

Are you sad?

That’s a reluctant yes, but that’s all based on feeling. I know the most important person in my life has to be me, but that’s such a hard concept to grasp sometimes.

You know, change my mind. No. I wouldn't.

Not so much anymore. I’ve been very hopeful and happy lately. ^u^

2012 KiM was a fucking liar.

I’ve been sad, on and off a lot this year. But it’s not like it was before. Sadness is temporary.

What’s a sure way to catch your attention?

A kind smile, and a tireless spirit. Music in the air… maybe a feather or two. xD A lot of things catch my attention…!

It always helps to bring some food. Or a bird. Free plants are nice.

Would you marry just for money?

Never. But I hear happiness has a certain wealth all its own. :)

I know people answer yes to this question. And man. That’s just sad.

Do you dream in color or black and white?

I dream however my brain wants me to dream. xD

Color. Always color.

Often take surveys?

Sometimes. I find them fun! :D like little personal interviews…!

Not nearly as much as I claimed to. This is the first in a good, long while.

Do you write poems?

I used to.

I write whatever is on my mind nowadays.

Do you get along with your parents?

From time to time with mum. We have our share of arguments, but we come back in the end.

Our relationship is like a broken switch. Sometimes works. Sometimes doesn’t.

What do you do when you’re sad?

I think about the things that make me happy. I listen to music, and draw things. I go for walks, and sometimes talk to people (depending on the kind of sad). Sometimes, I just need my time to work things out with myself. A sad KiM is a sad sight.

I lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling. I go shopping for plants. Go for a drive, listening to music at an aggressively loud volume. Cry about it. Ambush my friends into getting food with me. Typical stuff, you know.

7 things in your bag

Empty bank envelopes. XD … my phone, PSP, pencils, some mints, my bandanna, and a sketchy pad!

Bank book. Pen. Wallet. Probably $20 in change. Phone. Lotion.

things you do when you’re really stressed:

Depends on the kind of stress. If it’s an inner stress, I might go and let it out to a friendly ear. But most of the time, I’ll shut myself out and keep myself occupied.

Change the hair. Go for a drive. Listen to some good music, and veg out.

Can you watch scary movies alone?

I can hardly do scary things alone. Dx I have a horrible paranoia that just overruns my thought process… though sometimes, I find myself watching scary game walkthroughs alone, unintentionally.

Oh, absolutely not. 

Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational?

It really depends… I can be an idealist at times, but I find myself more of a realist in most situations. When confrontation needs to happen, I typically let it. I prefer peaceful resolutions over it, however.

Peace is preferred, but I’m much more temperamental than I used to be.

Do you keep secrets well?

There is no benefit in telling secrets to anyone.

More often than not. The secrets I do tell are the ones that need to be said. Ones that will bring harm to someone if it’s not.

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body?

I think it might be a little weird… but I guess I don’t know. xD probably not…

Absolutely not.

Do you like beer?

I don’t know yet? XD

Did.

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Why not?

You can tell this was a question of its time.

Do you still watch cartoons?

Of course!

Of course.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Any and all Miyazaki films~

I can’t say for sure, I hardly watch movies. I love slice of life though.

Afraid of heights?

Terrified. xD

Not really. Vertigo is a pain in the ass though.

Are you patient?

Patience is golden.

Sometimes. It wears thin in some situations.

What is the hardest thing for you to say?

Goodbye. (tied with “no, I will not [insert answer to obligatory question here]”)

Goodbye.

What do you want to receive on your birthday?

I appreciate whatever I’m given. But I prefer time spent over things.

Good company, and good memories.

What makes you frustrated?

My lack of motivation sometimes.

Not knowing what the answer is.

Who will you turn to if you have a huge prob?

I often times keep to myself… but sometimes friends, and mum.

My best friend. Always.

In a relationship?

Nope.

I'll never tell.

Do you cry a lot recently?

I used to. But not anymore.

Whenever I need to.

How many kids do you want to have?

I’m aiming for one right now. Girl or boy, either one will make me happy. :) I wouldn’t mind twins so much…

I don’t think kids are on my radar at the moment... but I suppose you could say, if the time calls for it, I want to adopt two.

Would you take a bullet for someone?

Yes.

Yes.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone’s life?

I feel that everyone can make an imprint on the life of another, whether it is realized or not.

I know that I have.

Say something about your love life.

Art… music… we’re good. ^u^

It is just what it needs to be.

Are you a warfreak?

A what?

If the insinuation is... someone who is obsessed with war... then no, no no.

What do you have to do before you sleep?

I typically go and look back on my day… and think about happy things. ^u^ get any drawings out that I have in mind… listen to my lullaby playlist, drink some water… snuggle up in my blankets… and sleeeep~ :3

Align the energies. Meditate. Think about my day. Think about the next day. Reflect. Breathe, stretch, relax. Close eyes. lol.

Will you donate organs after you die?

I don’t know. I don’t think about it.

Cremation, baby. Throw me in a meadow. Make me into some pretty wildflowers.

Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately?

Mmm… nope.

Oh, absolutely yes.

If you’ll go on a date, what would you like to do?

Ahh… I don’t know. I think having fun should be first and foremost! I’m not an overly romantic person… I don’t think. xD but I guess I don’t know yet.

In actuality, more than likely just a lunch or dinner, and some kind of activity, even a walk or something. I’m... lowkey.

But in my make-believe imagi-verse, I’d want to travel somewhere new, and get lost somewhere.

What would be the best partner of a good cup of coffee?

I’ll pass on the coffee and go for some tea… and with the tea comes the muffins!

I forgot 2012 KiM was a coffee-virgin.

A sweet n’ tasty snack.

Have you ever stayed up all night while drunk or high?

Uh… no. XDD

Sweet summer child...

Drunk, for sure. 

What makes you laugh no matter what?

A lot of things. XD I think the real question is what doesn’t make me laugh no matter what…

The Game Grumps. Fat birds. Silly dogs. 

Do you think it is bad to have sex at your age?

22?

… No. XD

32?

... n o ... 

Will you get married?

I’ll admit that I didn’t see it as an option before… but some things have changed my views on it. I wouldn’t mind. Having a family would be nice.

I refuse to answer this question.......

Would you change yourself for the person you love?

Honestly, I opt out of changing myself to fit the ideals of others. But if it’s something that would benefit me as well, then I’d go for it.

No. Because... the person I love would probably not want me to change.

What do you tell yourself when times get hard?

Smile! :)

You’ll be okay.

have you started a horrible rumour about somebody?

Never.

Never. Still going strong.

have you ever done hallucinogenic drugs?

No.

I’m going to say no, but who actually knows anymore?

have you ever been too drunk to remember a certain night?

Nope.

No. I remember everything.

do you think your future will be a good one?

Let’s see if the stars work in my favor. ^^

Time will tell.

Do you think you were raised well?

In some aspects, yes. But I want to strive to be a better person.

Nah. I grew up in a toxic household. And I know now that the good person I am today, is a direct result of me trying to do better.

If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which one would you pick?

I hate questions like these… true love doesn’t just sit on the side of the street!

I’d just keep walking. Money won’t follow. But true love just might...

If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with?

Well, considering this already happened… and considering my mum has been my best and only support, mum.

I mean, now, with everything I’ve learned since... I’d rather live alone. And I do love my mum dearly. I’m just at the age now where... it would be nice to be independent.

Do you think you know the meaning of true love?

I don’t think anyone really does. Even when you’re in love… even when you marry, and have a family… I don’t think it’s really something anyone knows. But I believe once you find yourself happy, that’s when you’ve reached the state of “true love”. :)

Still learning.

Do you wish someone was with you right now?

Sometimes. But I don’t want to just be with anyone. I want to be with someone who wants to share their heart with me. I’m not one to push myself for the wrong reasons. If that were the case, I’m better off alone.

... I’m pretty sure I read this question wrong.

At this very moment, do I want someone to be with me? 

Yeah.

What time did you go to sleep last night?

2:30AM.

12:30AM.

Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

Never.

I am very fortunate to be where I am today. I spoil myself when I can.

Did you sing at all today?

Today and everyday! ^_^

Everyday. And that will never change.

[doodleodds]

So the twilight corridor in maruki’s palace has a lot of stairs in it. like a LOT

Hey guys, long time no post! I’ve been really busy trying to finish my senior project for school....so much so that I really haven’t had a lot of time to draw things for myself :( But!! Here’s something kind of experimental I did to unwind a little in my downtime! I’d like to add (full) color to this eventually, but knowing me there’s a very high chance that I won’t! So I’ll just post this now, I guess.

Also, here’s the original sketch I was going off of before I realized “shit man I can’t draw backgrounds, how tf am i gonna animate/color that” and changed it:

:^)

[koushou]

hey can i request a oneshot or hc for megumi, thank you 😩❤️

insufferable

pairing : megumi fushiguro x f!reader {small angst + fluff}

warnings : reader injury, gojo being a perv

word count : 3k

a/n : thank u for requesting! i'm a sucker for enemies to lovers, so this was fun to write, i hope you enjoy !

he’s been your rival for as long as you could remember, it was always some kind of competition between the both of you. although, the feeling you both feel for each other, is it truly as simple as hatred? 

Insufferable.

It was the only way to describe the dark haired boy standing in front of you, a smug grin playing on his lips.

“Alright, calm down, you two,” your teacher’s voice rang over to where you were standing as he made his way over.

Gojo sighs, running a hand through his hair as he eyes the both of you. 

“What did I say abo-”

“He clearly had a head start!” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest, glaring down your rival across from you.

“Are you accusing me of cheating?” He raises his eyebrows at you tauntingly.

“Anyone could tell that you ran before sensei blew the whistle!” 

“Maybe you should stop focusing on me, and work on bettering your own abilities instead.” He rolls his eyes while starting to walk away, obviously getting bored of the conversation.

“You—!” 

“Okay, okay, come on,” Gojo leads you away before you could tackle the boy with his back turned to you.

Megumi Fushiguro.

Your life-long rival, you guys had been by each other’s side for as long as you could remember.

Not that you wanted to remember, you hated him. And so did he.

Everything was a competition between the both of you, and although you would die before admitting it, your constant battles did improve you as a jujutsu sorcerer.

When you both found out you were going to be attending Jujutsu Tech together, you personally saw it as an opportunity to fight him even more, to prove that you were the stronger one, while Megumi-

Well, he didn’t care. He never cared about anything, anyway.

“Come on, we’re heading to the mission location,” Gojo begins to walk ahead of you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

You let out a sigh, wishing you could be in the safe confines of your room instead of fighting alongside your least favorite person in the whole world.

“Sensei, what are the curses’ grades?” You ask after the tall white-haired man, who was getting into the front passenger seat of a black car.

“They said it would be a couple Grade 3’s, nothing too much,” the older man yawns, stretching his arms over his head before cursing as they bump against the car’s roof.

“They also mentioned a special grade or something, I don’t really remember,” Gojo slams the car door shut, leaving you to roll your eyes at the man’s irresponsibility.

About to make your way to the car as well, you stumble as a force pushed you from behind, turning around as you get ready to attack whoever was-

“Try not to die to a couple Grade 3’s, alright?” Megumi smirks down at your fuming expression, before making his way to the car.

“I mean, I know they can be quite a hassle for you, but take your time.”

Inhaling sharply, you massage your temples with one hand, trying to suppress your frustration and holding back from tackling the boy to the ground.

“He’s so immature.” Nobara, one of your closest friends at Jujutsu Tech, comes up to you, rolling her eyes at the boy.

“Ignore him, let’s have some meat buns when we get back.” She sends you a wink before walking towards the car, to which you respond with a laugh.

There will be meat buns waiting when I get back, you thought to yourself, licking your lips unconsciously. It will be worth it, snuggling up back in your fluffy blankets, binging your newest favorite show that was airing today-

“You coming or not?” A voice breaks you from your daydream, snapping your head up.

“Ah, are you scared? Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” Megumi smiles at you mockingly, chuckling as he shoves his hands into his pockets and entering the car in the back seats.

Ah.

This was going to be a long day.

-

“We’re here,” Gojo announces, unlocking the car door to get out. 

You all exit the car, stretching as you take note of your surroundings.

The mission assigned this time was to eliminate a couple curses who had sneaked their way into an elementary school. The students were still inside, so you had to be extra careful with fighting.

“Well then, let’s head in.”

Starting to make your way toward the school entrance, a small groan from the side halts you all in your tracks.

A green, slimy creature emerges from the bushes, crawling on its legs as it stares up at all of you.

It leaps forward suddenly, lunging at you, as you raise your sword in time to block it, slicing it in half in one swift motion.

It lets out a final groan as it drops to the ground, melting into a green blob.

“Not too bad, you actually killed it.” Megumi raises an eyebrow in amusement as you clean your sword of any of its remains.

“Thanks for the compliment.” You snarl at him sarcastically, drawing another sigh from Gojo.

You all continue making your way to the school’s front doors, when suddenly your teacher holds an arm out, stopping all of you.

“Shh, listen.”

There was a quiet voice- no, many voices coming from down the hallway of the school. The building was filled with black smoke, restricting your views of where the sounds were coming from.

It sounded as if the many voices were chanting a curse or spell of some sort, and you all knew instantly.

This couldn’t be the doings of a grade 3.

It had to be a special curse.

Gojo steps forward slowly, entering the black smoke as he checks the left hallway, before returning and nodding to you that it was safe.

You nod, slowly making your way into the school as well, turning to check the right hallway. 

The black smoke almost made it hard to breathe, you trying your best to swat away any smoke making your eyes tear up.

The chanting became louder as you entered the hallway, and you saw a figure standing in the middle.

Your breath catches in your throat, ready to turn and tell Gojo what you saw, but could you really describe what it was?

It stood at least two feet above you, with gray skin mixed with red blotches here and there and multiple arms hanging by its side. Horns and unidentifiable liquids stuck to its skin, with its mouth hanging open. It had the sharpest teeth you’d ever seen on a curse- no, you’d ever seen in your life- and drool pooled at the corners of its lips, if you could even call them lips, before dripping down its chin, staining the marble floor.

It continued to chant its spell, however it sounded as if the voices were in your head, in your eardrums, echoing through your brain. 

You could hear your name being called from behind you, probably Gojo, but the chants were getting louder, louder, and louder until the special grade was standing right before you, its tall figure looming over you.

Snap out of it, you thought to yourself, trying to shake its voice out of your head, commanding your legs to move. To turn back. To run.

Finally you felt your legs listening to you, and you turned around and ran. Ignoring the pattering footsteps of the creature following close behind you, you ran as fast as you could.

Finally, you could see the light at the entrance, where you all had been before, and you could almost see their faces, until-

“Y/N—!” 

A sharp pain shot through your stomach.

Ah, that voice.

The voice of your rival who had been competing with you, fighting with you, for your whole life.

It was like it all happened in slow motion, like in the movies.

Megumi and the others stood before you, with a horrified expression as their eyes travelled down, down to your stomach.

You followed their gaze, a dark crimson stain beginning to seep through your uniform, a sharp horn stabbed from the back, right through your body.

Ah, this was it. That jerk was right, huh? I am weak after all.

At that moment, your body went limp. All feelings left your limbs, leaving you to free fall forward, eyes closing as you begin to lose consciousness.

But not before you felt a pair of arms wrap around you, stopping you from the impact.

“Y/N! Wake up, come on, wake up—!”

Why do you keep shouting? You’re so loud, be quiet.

“You can’t do this, wake up— please—“

I told you to be quiet, geez, let me sleep already.

And the last crumb of consciousness left your body.

-

A horrible thumping pain in your head. Hushed voices from next to you. Fingers entangled with yours.

Wait- fingers?

It had never been so hard to open your eyes, wincing as a bright light from above hits you directly. 

Taking a moment to adjust, you finally looked around your surroundings.

It seemed as if you were in a hospital room, long tubes connected to your arms, hands, legs, making it hard for you to move at all.

You notice a doctor and Gojo speaking by the door, but what shocked you was the sleeping boy by your bed.

The sunlight seeping through the window shines on his slender face perfectly, dark strands of hair framing his sleeping face, one you could’ve almost teased him for until you notice his hands. Your hands. 

His fingers entangled with yours by your side, the warmth from his palm radiating through yours as the rise and fall from his breathing caused his hands to move slightly every time.

You wished you could snap a picture of this right now, but the comforting feeling of his hands against yours made you not want to move an inch.

“Ah, you’re awake, Y/N,” You recognized your teacher’s voice as he makes his way over to your bed with a relieved smile.

You feel the boy wake up with a jolt, eyes blinking to focus themselves, before settling on yours and widening. 

It was only then that he became aware of your entangled hands, quickly pulling away and coughing to cover the slight pink spreading across his cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor next to Gojo asks, holding a clipboard in his hands.

“Just a bit sore in my ribs, but nothing too much.” Megumi glances in your direction, and you would’ve thought it was out of concern before mentally slapping yourself at the absurdity of it.

“Alright, we’ll need to keep you here for a few weeks,” the doctor says, noting something on his clipboard. “I’ll be right back, we still need to give you a check-up.”

He leaves the room, and Gojo takes a seat on the other side of your bed, across from Megumi.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Y/N,” he sighs, before leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Good thing you were brought back in time, doc says that any longer and the injury would’ve been more severe.” 

You nod, facing your teacher, “Thank you sensei, I should’ve been more careful.”

He shakes his head, “It was a special grade, my fault for not notifying you all earlier.”

A grin spreads across his face, leaning forward slowly in his seat. 

“But I’m not the one you should be thanking.” He nods his head slightly to your left, making you turn to see a coughing Megumi, who suddenly thought his shoes were the most interesting things in the world.

Gojo chuckles, patting your shoulder as he gets up to leave.

“I’ll leave you two alone, Megumi take care of her, alright?”

Even behind the blindfold, you could sense that he was sending a wink your way.

The boy only grumbles in response, fiddling with his hands nervously.

You stare at him, before bursting out in laughter.

His head shoots up, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at you still laughing.

“What’s with that gloomy look? Don’t tell me…” 

You tilt your head at him, a smirk spreading across your face.

“Aww, are you worried about me, ‘gumi?” 

The use of the nickname you made for him makes him scoff, turning away from you.

“As if. Just wondering about how stupid you were to get yourself hurt.”

He bites his lips for a moment, as if pondering his next words.

“And stop laughing so hard, what—”

Megumi stops and looks away.

“—what if your wound opens again?” He murmurs quietly, but you managed to catch it.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, before chuckling at him teasingly, “So you are worried about me, liar.”

“Am not!”

“You totally are.”

“Keep lying to yourself.”

With a sigh, you close your eyes, refusing to argue with the boy any longer.

“By the way, what did sensei mean before? That you were the one I should be thanking?”

You open your eyes, waiting for his answer.

His eyes widen the slightest bit, before looking away once again.

“...s’nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You raise your eyebrows at him, confused.

He shakes his head, showing that he wasn’t going to answer.

Groaning, you roll your eyes at his childish behavior, “God- you’re so infuriating sometimes, why—”

“When you fainted, I carried you all the way to the hospital, okay?! On my own damn legs, I ran all the way here, I don’t know why I did, but I did so stop asking—!”

Megumi shouts, panting as he finishes talking with an unreadable look in his eyes.

You gape at him slightly, still trying to register his words.

“You...carried me here? Why didn’t you just take the car?”

He scoffs, “The car is way too slow, I would be faster. Plus, your injury would’ve gotten worse so you should thank me.”

He eyes you, searching for any emotions on your face, but all you felt was confusion at the moment.

A few beats of silence pass, and Megumi sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Well? At least say something.” He mumbles, shifting his feet on the floor.

You just look at him, not believing what he said, before laughing softly.

“Man, ‘gumi, if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you liked me so much that you were scared that I would die.” 

You teased him, expecting a scoff or an insult thrown back of some sort, but he just rolls his bottom teeth in between his teeth, not making eye contact.

“...so what if I do?” He finally says, so softly that you wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t so close to you.

Wait, why was he so close to you—

The distance between you two closed as he leaned forward to meet your lips with his. The kiss was slow, inexperienced, but honest and passionate. 

Your eyes widened in shock, while his were screwed tight, afraid to open and meet yours.

A contrast to his appearance and personality, his lips were soft, fitting snugly against yours, the taste of him sweet, like cherries.

After a few seconds, he pulls away hesitantly, sitting back down in the chair.

The tension was so thick in the room, not even a knife could cut through it.

It was awkward for a few beats before he spoke.

“I-uh, sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” he rubs the back of his neck, a heavy pink dusting his cheeks.

“It..it’s fine, it was nice,” you spoke softly, almost whispering.

His head shot up, facing you. “You liked it?” 

You bit the inside of your cheeks, before nodding, slowly meeting his gaze. 

“Thank you, for saving me.” 

A small smile spreads across his lips. Not a teasing one he would use when he was making fun of you, not a fake one, no. This was different.

Megumi was genuinely smiling at you like you were the most amazing thing he’s ever seen before.

“No problem,” he speaks, before slowly reaching for your hand.

Watching you with a careful gaze for any signs of discomfort, he intertwines his fingers with yours, giving it a small squeeze.

“... I was scared, you know?” He sighs, eyes never leaving your face.

“Scared that… I would lose the one person I care about.” You flush at his words.

“I know, I treat you like you’re below me all the time, like you’re weak, but I-“ He clears his throat, not wanting to mess this up. He only had one chance after all.

“-I do care about you, and I get happy whenever we fight against each other, or with each other. I was scared that- that I would lose the most important person in my life.”

You couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face, one part of you wanting to tease him like usual, but the other part of you, wanted to do something else.

You tug on his hand that was still holding yours, making him lean forward as you met his lips halfway.

The kiss was a little longer this time, you didn’t have to use words to convey your feelings. He knew. And you knew, too.

Pulling away at last, you lightly flicked his forehead, causing him to pout and rub the sore spot.

You giggle, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“I care about you too, Megumi. A lot. I always have.”

You smile.

“And I always will.”

He smiles widely, leaning forward once again until you hear muffled voices on the other side of the door.

“Do you think they’re having s-”

“Sensei! Stop being so loud, they might hear you—“

The door suddenly slams open with Nobara and Gojo tumbling onto the floor. 

Silence.

Laughing awkwardly, they finally stand up, nudging the other to speak.

“I- she- uh, we- woah—!” Gojo gasps dramatically at the sight of your hands together.

“So you were having s-”

Both of you flush at the same time, shouting at him.

“We weren’t—!”

You all burst out laughing, feeling Megumi squeeze your hand softly.

Gosh, making you feel butterflies in your stomach like this?

Megumi Fushiguro was truly insufferable.

[theringers]

counting crimes - pierre gasly

illicit affairs, part three

summary: “wandering eyes and comfortable lies, you seem to sleep just fine” counting crimes / nessa barrett

a/n: i’m thinking there’s only gonna be two more parts but that may change, we’ll see. enjoy this and let me know what u think! feedback is always appreciated xoxo

also this gif today killed me

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, semi public sex shocker!, lil angst, cocky pierre

Your eyes widen as you try to comprehend what to do. Someone was at the door and Pierre was still inside of you, in shock. “Hey, y/n? Are you in there?” Max’s voice could be heard through the door. He tried to push the door in but the deadbolt stopped him.

You glared at Pierre, cleared your throat and placed a finger on his lips. “Yes, give me a few seconds.” You panicked and pulled your dress up, trying not to make too much noise.

Where the fuck was Pierre supposed to go? You should have just kept quiet. Your eyes focused on the window and you pointed towards it, quietly shoving him out.

He squeezed himself through the window and stepped down onto the grass. After quietly shutting the window, you looked in the mirror and readjusted your dress. Your hair needed some readjusting as well, so you quickly brushed through it.

You unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door to see your husband. “Hey,” he smiled at you, genuinely happy to see you.

“Hi, Max.” Your voice was shaking but you smiled to try to play it off. You usually had a good amount of time to psych yourself up before you went back to Max but you could still feel how Pierre had fucked you.

You were awful. He placed his hands on your hips and kissed your cheek. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You’re kind of hot.” He placed the back of his hand to your forehead.

“Yeah, it was really hot in there but I feel better now.” Hopefully he would buy that story.

“Well, if you’re feeling better now, I have an idea.” His hands rested on your hips again and pulled you into his body. “We have a few minutes to kill. What do you say we have a little bit of fun in here? It is our anniversary after all.” His lips found your neck and placed soft, gentle kisses on the skin. “You look so beautiful tonight, baby.” You were feeling sexually frustrated after being interrupted but he was right. It was your anniversary, so what the hell.

You leaned your neck to the side, inviting him in. “I love this dress, but it needs to come off.” He looked you in the eyes and smiled, reaching around for the zipper. He bent his knees and slowly pulled your dress to your ankles. His hands rested around your calves and move upwards while his lips trailed kisses on the soft skin of your thighs.

His finger pushed aside your panties and he slid a finger between your folds. “Jesus baby, you’re so wet.” He smiled and looked up at you. You moaned and rolled your eyes into the back of your head to avoid making eye contact with him. His tongue found its way between your legs, licking lightly before fucking your pussy with his tongue. You let out a moan while your body jerked toward his face uncontrollably. You needed him to finish you off so badly.

His fingernails ran lightly over the skin on your abdomen down to your thighs. “Oh, Max” you moaned.

Your hand quickly covered your mouth, remembering that even though he wasn’t out there possibly listening there were other people who shouldn’t hear you right now either.

He pulled his suit pants down and took himself in his hand, smiling at you. “I love you,” he said before entering you. He pressed against your body and thrusted up into you while looking in your eyes.

“I love you too, baby.” You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a moan.

Sometimes you forgot what it was like to have sex without the looming threat of someone finding out. Instead of worrying about someone catching you cheating, you were able to focus on the sensation and the intimacy but even now, something was missing.

Max left the bathroom before you, allowing you more time to clean up and look normal. You didn’t want to draw any more attention. “Hey guys, sorry I wasn’t feeling to well.” You said, grabbing your napkin off the table and taking your old seat. Max looked flushed for obvious reasons and couldn’t hide his smile.

You turned to your left and smiled at Pierre and Anna. “Did I miss anything?” Pierre’s gaze was glued to the stage ahead and he refused to look at you. His jaw was clenched and you could feel the steam coming out of his ears. You made eye contact with Anna and cocked your head in confusion. Why was he acting this way? Maybe Anna thinks it’s something she did wrong.

“Nothing important, for us at least,” she said, fixing single pieces of her hair.

Max’s hand gripped your inner thigh and he looked over to you and smiled. You returned the smile but immediately looked in Pierre’s direction to see him still refusing to look at you, his fist balled at his side.

Hotels in random cities at 2 am are lonely. The sound of Max’s snores kept you awake longer than expected. Your mind was wandering to places you wish it wouldn’t and you couldn’t get silence long enough to dream. The air conditioner in the room was set to the coolest temperature - hotel air always hitting different. Your mouth was dry, making you uncomfortable and adding to another thing making you unable to sleep.

You pulled the covers aside in frustration and grabbed a pair of shorts to put on under Max’s oversized Red Bull Racing shirt. You looked around for the room key and slid it off the table as soon as you spotted it.

As you stood in the elevator, you looked down and noticed your bare feet. It was 2 am so you were hoping there was no one important in the lobby. You just wanted a sip of cold water to help put you to sleep.

The night before races always made you nervous. You never knew what was going to happen so you had a constant pit in your stomach over your husband’s safety. That stress only increased when you began sleeping with another driver. Someone else’s safety to worry about.

You smiled at the older couple that greeted you when the elevator door opened. You crossed your arms and tip toed to the mini bar, grabbing the largest bottle of water they carried. After giving the gentleman your room number, you ran towards the closing elevator doors only to be met with familiar blue eyes. His hair was messy and his skin was glowing from sweat.

“Don’t mind me,” he said, stepping to one side. Even though he clearly just worked out you could still smell the strong scent of his cologne. “How have you been, y/n?”

“I’ve been okay. Your summer break looked fun,” you took a quick sip of your water and smiled at him.

“As did yours.” The silence was uncomfortable. You two were always laughing and talking nonstop. It was what you loved about him.

You focused on the pounding of your heart and your eyes wandered, trying to pass the uncomfortable time.

You suddenly lost your balance as the elevator shook, the lights flickered off, and the cables stopped. Turning your head towards Pierre, you began to get worried.

“Did this just break?” He asked, pressing the floor buttons and hoping the lights would come back on.

“Just our luck.” You laughed at yourselves. Why did the universe hate you? You plopped down onto the ground and twiddled your thumbs, realizing that you left your phone in the hotel room. “Do you have your phone?” You asked Pierre.

He lifted his wrist to show his apple watch. “I just went on a run. I never bring it with me on a run.” Of course he didn’t.

You groaned and banged your head on the wall behind you.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me.” He laughed, pleased with himself. He slid down to join you on the floor, the summer heat starting to creep into the elevator.

After not speaking for the entire summer break, this unconventional meeting was quite uncomfortable. You watched on Instagram as him and his wife vacationed in Bali, looking happy as ever. Granted, he did the same with you but he would never admit it. He had too much pride.

“Why didn’t you ever reach out?” You asked him, bluntly.

He looked at you making you feel dumb. “Why do you think I didn’t? I spent four weeks straight with Anna. Would you want me calling you up while you were on holiday with Max?”

“I don’t know,” you stumbled over your words. “I just would have liked to talk to you.”

“I told you before, I can’t keep doing this.” He said, exhausted at the back and forth you two had done.

“Yet, you do. You tease me and torture me and then say you need to be devoted to her. It’s not fair to me.” You let out a deep breath, exhausted over feeling this way.

“You want to talk about fair? You had sex with Max right after me. Less than five minutes after I was inside of you, he was too.”

You looked at him confused.

“I thought you were just going to talk to him for a few moments and then send him off.” Oh no. “I was waiting for you to open the window and let me back in.” He ran his hands over his face.

“Pierre, I’m so-”

“Don’t, y/n.”

He heard you and Max. You felt remorse for doing it, putting Pierre through that. But at the same time, you didn’t. Pierre is sleeping with his friend’s wife. He has no place to be jealous or mad. He comes second.

“How much did you hear?”

“I left when I heard him talk about how wet you were. He thought it was because of him but he had no idea that it was all for me.” Pierre scooted closer to you and put his hand on your thigh.  “He has no idea how wet you get for me.” He moved in closer to your ear. “How good I make you feel.”

Your head spun at his words. When he made you cum, you forgot about everything in the entire world except for him.

“I’m really sorry, Pierre. That was shitty of me.” You rested your hand on his chest. “Let me make it up to you.” Your hand moved to his thigh and grazed over his thin mesh gym shorts.

You pulled his shorts off and took him in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head. He pulled your loose hair into his hand as a makeshift ponytail. He let soft groans escape his lips, being mindful of the setting. He would look down to see you taking him fully and have to look away or else he would finish quicker than he would like. Each time his eyes trailed down, his hips thrusted uncontrollably and a grunt would leave his lips.

“That’s it baby,” he said, in a low tone but almost whining. “God, your mouth feels so good. It was made to take my cock.” He continued to fill your mouth and throat, making you gag and tighten around him.

He pulled your head up by your hair and looked at you. “Come sit on my face.” He looked at your outfit, examining how he could take it off in the easiest way possible. He slipped off your comfortable sweat shorts, leaving you in just your Red Bull tee.

He laid down on the ground and hoisted your legs up and around his chest, getting the perfect view of your ass.

You stroked his cock and started to grind your hips against his chest. He took you in his hands immediately, not up for teasing, and pulled you onto his face. You rocked your hips over his face at a slow, light pace while still focusing on taking him in your mouth.

His tongue flicked your clit while his thumbs massaged your ass, pressing down hard and most definitely leaving bruises.

You moaned at the feeling of your legs beginning to tingle. He loved to 69 with you because every time you got an ounce of pleasure, your moans vibrated around his cock. You would tighten your throat and gag, sending him down a spiral. You both knew how to make each other feel incredible.

His facial hair tickled your inner thighs and left light scratches on the skin. As you ground your hips into his mouth, the sensation got rougher but the pleasure just increased.

He used his ab muscles to thrust into your throat, looking for his release. You tightened your grip around the base of his cock and suctioned even harder with your mouth as he let go.

Your legs went fully numb as the tension began to build in your stomach. You reached your peak, hearing Pierre’s tongue lap at your juices.

You rolled off of his body, looking for your shorts. The guilt was already beginning to set in and you couldn’t escape it now. You were stuck.

Pierre wiped his mouth with his hand and you noticed his whole face was wet. He was still smiling.

“I just hope Anna and Max aren’t standing there waiting for us when these doors decide to open.”

“Wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake?” You laughed, brushing your fingers through your now knotty hair.

Pierre pulled his shorts back on and looked at you. “Now be honest with me, who eats your pussy better? Me or him?”

“You can’t ask me that.”

“I can and I did.”

“Well, I’m not going to give you an answer.”

He laughed at you, not the reaction you were expecting. “Don’t worry, I already have the answer. I heard the sounds you make when he’s between your legs. It’s nothing compared to the sounds you just made for me.” He winked at you, knowing exactly where you stand with him.

next part

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

[itsevanffs]

Hihi!! I've been hyperfixating on tommary lately and I absolutely loved (In the dark!)! I wanted to see if u have any tommary/harrymort fics that u recommend.. preferably ones that feature a possessive Tom ^^ ty in advance

I guess this would be the right time to publicly declare my bookmarks as open? Everything on there is a hard rec, and I vigorously quality-check those... for my liking and my liking only. (Sorry, not sorry. They're there for me, after all.)

That being said, hmm. I've got a few you might like.

Below the cut: more (additionally to my bookmarks) Tomarrymort (Tomarry or Harrymort) recommendations with possessive/obsessive Tom in alphabetical order; NOT order of how much I enjoy them. I'd argue I enjoy them all equally, just in different ways.

Ps: thank you! I'm incredibly flattered you liked my work :D

and don't let the police know anything by littlecupkate https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920947

Ted Dirlod is dangerous, Harry Potter knows this for a fact, but the man was still his only hope at escaping a doomed fate. It is never wise to blackmail a crime lord. It is even more unwise(?) when said crime lord is obsessed with you. An expanded version of "praying to whatever's in heaven, please send me a felon"

Genuinely lovely? Ticks all my boxes, at least, and minimal angst, which is always a plus. That being said, you should probably read the work mentioned in the summary as well for context. But hey. Two cakes by one person ;) Can never go wrong, can it?

As Certain Dark Things Are to be Loved by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/6015619

Tom was Harry's best friend growing up and his first love. At eight, Harry gave Tom his first kiss before moving away. As a freshman in college, the name of the RA on the door across the hall is terribly familiar.

Also absolutely deliciously indulgent. Tom is a possessive terror and Harry loves him for it. Need I say more?

Harry Potter and the Search for Ancient Magic (series) by Snickerdoodlepop https://archiveofourown.org/series/1133141

Once Voldemort realizes that Harry Potter is his horcrux, his plans change drastically. So does Draco Malfoy's assignment for the school year. Harry's sixth year starts going very differently. Snape is on a mission. Harry needs to learn pureblood politics. Draco Malfoy is trying to convince Harry to forgive him. Voldemort finds himself visiting Harry Potter in his dreams. Everyone is realizing that no one is quite what they thought. And through it all, there's a mystery. What is Ancient Magic? Can Harry use it to save himself or will it pull him toward the dark side?

Honestly, genuinely, hands down the best fucking tomarrymort series I've ever read. Hard, hard rec from here. The first work is completed and the second is in progress, so it's a nice pile of words to chew through!

can't commit to anything but a crime by caelesti https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286483

Excitement is the word he does not dare utter, even in the privacy of his own mind. It’s wrong, he knows. These women are people, in their own right; people with fears and aspirations, with friends and families and dreams, and to have anything cut those lives short is nothing but tragic. To have anyone cut those lives short is nothing but condemnable. He doesn’t have James Potter’s laugh lines, but he does have his father’s innate flair for danger. He doesn’t have Lily Potter’s enthusiasm, but he does have her insatiable curiosity. (In every world, Harry will excel at finding the biggest spot of trouble available and sticking his nose in it.)

Hot serial killer serial killer hot. That's it, those are the thoughts. Please read.

Dripping Fingers by May_May_0_0 https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440826

When Harry finds Tom Riddle's diary he does not write 'Hello.' He does not write anything at all. He draws. Tom Riddle falls in love with the artwork. _________________ Sketch by sketch, drawing by drawing, the ink Harry pours into the diary manifests as creations in Tom's monochrome world.

Okay so if I'm the reincarnation of Shakespeare, May_May_0_0 is fucking... Ted Hughes. Which doesn't say much to your average viewer but that man wrote my favourite poem ever (the one I based my war fic off) and I hold him in very high regard. This story? It is poetry in its rawest form. Pure, condensed beauty. If you decide to read only one of the fics in this list, please choose this one.

Either must die at the hand of the other by Metalomagnetic https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356095

Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts because Harry Potter had not been the one to kill him, as the prophecy demands.

When is Metalomagnetic not a master of words? When will I cease becoming breathless at every paragraph, at every cleverly twisted word that comes back and reveals itself so beautifully later?

Fine Line by galaxiesundone https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949952

Magic always leaves traces. The lingering darkness of Sectumsempra, combined with Harry’s nature as a horcrux, awakens the soul piece contained within Ravenclaw’s diadem. At twenty years old, Tom Riddle walks a fine line between man and monster, the devil and the light-bringer in one. His influence forces Harry to face an ancient enemy unlike anything he has faced before: temptation.

Long story short: Tom Riddle is Hot and Good At Being Hot and Harry truly doesn't stand a chance and I am here for it. Lord help me I love this fic to pieces.

Good Intentions by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035334

Five year old Harry Potter meets and befriends a seventeen year old Tom Riddle while hanging out at his dad’s station. James Potter decides to take Tom under his wing, using Tom’s connection with Harry to try and keep the teen grounded, even as he begins to investigate the Death Eaters, a dangerous organized crime group and their mysterious leader only known as Lord Voldemort.

The sheer potential of this fic. The horrible, terrible dread of future events that have yet to be revealed. I will cry.

Honey, Smoke, Shiver by machiavelli https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068062

Harry - Omega, only son of Lord Potter - is nothing more than a useful playing card in a political game of power and money, one that is bought by the famed Tom Riddle: powerful, dangerous, pureblood Alpha. Unsurprisingly, Harry loves being underestimated.

Machiavelli is always a rec from me. Sorry lads but that's the way it is. Never a moment where I won't recommend their stuff.

Sickly-Sweet Obsession by maquira https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259103

Quiet, studious Tom Riddle spends his first year thirsting after an older student—Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain, Harry Potter. His crush is common knowledge, and even Harry finds it cute… at first. Possessiveness spawns monstrosities. Tom does all within his power to mess with Harry’s dating life. And one seemingly harmless crush spirals into something darker, begetting deadly consequences.

Again; the potential. Delicious. This will bloom into something beautifully twisted, I'm sure of it.

Stars, Hide Your Fires by Audair https://archiveofourown.org/works/27745546

Riddle’s undivided attention snapped to him with the swiftness of shattering glass. His turbulent magic receded from where it had besieged the shop. "You,” he breathed. Coiling in leisurely motions, the eager tendrils of his magic reached for Harry, swathing about his limbs and neck and chest with a liquid, flowing fascination. "I’ve been looking for you,” Riddle continued, tilting his head to the side and sweeping his gaze over Harry. It was an appraisal that felt simultaneously like the raking of iron nails and the tender drapery of silk. It was so familiar, and yet… so foreign. In the winding streets of Knockturn Alley, an intricate dance of mutual obsession unravels between twenty-three-year-old Tom Riddle and a time-travelling Harry Potter.

This work has recently been undergoing a rewrite, and I can tell you with certainty it's only gotten better for it. It's beautiful; the setting, the atmosphere, the vibes... Perfection. Captures Knockturn Alley's mood impeccably and does not disappoint a single moment.

the pleasure, the privilege by asterisms https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227528

It begins with Vernon Dursley's body, dead across the table. In which Voldemort is dosed with amortentia, and nothing is better for it.

Completed, terrifying... and gorgeous.

The Shrike (to your sharp and glorious thorn) by PaperWorlds https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380079

Shrike: A songbird with a sharply hooked bill, known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling their bodies on thorns, the spikes on barbed-wire fences, or any available sharp point. A young Harry Potter survives an attack by notorious serial killer Voldemort. Over a decade later, they meet again.

Lads I'm so desperate for an update from this fic that I might cry if I think about it for too long. I keep saying it and I'll say it again; this is one of those fics with amazing potential that are sure to never disappoint no matter what path they take. An incredibly hard rec.

To Raise a Servant by bluegrass https://archiveofourown.org/works/19780816

Tom had found the boy amidst pouring rain. He figured he'd always wanted a pet snake.

Surprisingly not quite as dark as the summary makes it seem? I certainly enjoyed it, though, and that's why it's on this list.

What He Grows To Be by Severus_divides_into_H https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042240

Tom Riddle is a frightening coil of darkness, cruelty, and greatness, and changing him is Harry’s only hope for saving people he loves. Going back in time, he takes Tom from the orphanage, but his optimism shatters with every year they spend together. Tom still longs for darkness. Tom stifles him in his possessiveness. Tom is fixated on him to the point of destroying the world just to keep him. But Harry loves him. And the future changes.

Beautiful. And absolutely terrifying. I've started crying mid-scene at least three times for this fic, and it honestly seems unfathomable if you haven't read it if you're on my profile, since I think this is one of the fics that have shaped my style and ambitions. It is what I aspire to be.

[spyoikawa]

hello hello! i hope you’re doing well :D

i am currently on that saiki k brainrot and was wondering if i could request saiki, aren (okay but like he’s so attractive for what aksjdhgajd), metori, and hairo with an s/o who’s a non-binary afab (assigned female at birth) ballet dancer? (if that’s too specific just a ballet dancer is fine) as a non-binary afab ballet dancer myself (who’s currently on break from ballet) it can get pretty hard and damaging to my mental health and i just need some validation from attractive fictional characters-

thank you! <3

Y o u. Your interaction makes my day 💀 but oml I love this, thank you for requesting! (I 100% agree with your opinions on aren)

And I am so sorry how long this took I've been in a writing block lately-

A/N I heavily recommend trans and nonbinary readers check out

*READER IS AFAB*

Saiki, Aren, Saiko, and Hairo with a Non-Binary Ballet Dancer S/O

♡romantic♡

Saiki Kusuo

He *supposedly* can't go to your practices, because there's too many things that would draw attention to him, but he still makes sure you're OK using clairvoyance, he watches from a distance

However when practice is over he will go over to walk you home with snacks and drinks

If you forget something he quickly pops over when no one is looking and slips it into your bag

He does go to as many of your performances as possible though. He acts like its a pain but he enjoys seeing your hard work pay off. He stays in the back rows, so it might be hard to see him while on stage but he comes up to greet you after the show

He knows it's difficult doing such a binary coded activity, so he offers as much mental help as possible

Placing good affirmations in your thoughts, hanging out with you while you're on a break, and showing interest when you're ready to start again

Aren Kuboyasu

Let's be 100% honest here, he has no idea how tf ballet works, but he knows it's not to be taken lightly and it's a lot of work

He shows up to as many practices as possible, and if he can't he insists on at least walking you to make sure you have everything you need

Is blown away by every single one of your performances, it doesn't matter how you think you did, all he knows is that to him it looked stunning

Brings you your favorite flowers or treats as a congratulations and treats you to dinner after :)

He was a bit confused when you needed to take a break

But upon realizing how strict and traditional ballet can be, he supports you through your break

He's proud of you for making it this far, and prioritizing your mental health

Once again, he doesn't know anything about ballet, but he probably goes on a tangent or 2 about how stupid it was that all your outfits had skirts

If you ever go back to ballet after your break, he makes sure to go to your first practices to make sure you're ok

Saiko Metori

He gives off "took ballet classes as a kid cause it was either that or piano" vibes, so he probably understands your situation more than anyone

He definitely goes to most of your practices to make sure your studio and instructors are at least decent in his eye and is sure to get you nice equipment to prevent discomfort or injuries

He's probably more eager for you to take a break than you are, because he knows it's hard. When you do take a break, he becomes uncharacteristically nice to you

If you're bummed about loosing practice time, or missing the movements or how you felt while by yourself, he has a little studio in his house that you can use

If you just need time to recharge and calm down, he's ready to just chill and hang out with you all you want

Once you're ready to go back, he starts going to practices with you using his former knowledge to keep up. If you're gonna have to partner up with anyone it's going to be him. End of discussion

He usually doesn't like wearing clothes like this, but he'll carry around a sweatshirt with him so you can cover up after practice if you're feeling a bit dysphoric

Hairo Kineshi

Goes to all your practices

Even if he can only show up for 5 minutes because of his own sport practice, he will show up

As a class rep and competitive athlete, he knows that a little encouragement can go a long way, so imagine how far a lot can go!

He just wants you to know you have his support and he thinks you're doing a great job

He makes sure to get seats front and center at all your recitals, he wants to have a clear view of you, and wants you to be able to notice him in the audience

Number one hypeman after you do literally anything!

He knows you're working hard and putting in your effort and there's nothing more admirable than that

However if you need to take a break that's ok too! Breaks are good for you, because it means you'll come back better than ever

Contrary to the others who soften up for you, Hairo stays the same as ever, if anything more enthusiastic. Maybe you need a break from ballet but that just means there's more time to indulge yourself in other interests and time with him

When you're ready to go back, he's thrilled and ready to see you back in action! Nothing makes him happier than seeing you enjoy yourself and seeing all the hard work and dedication paying off and coming to a beautiful resolve

I hope that was OK! Thank you very much for your patience! Please let me know if there's anything I can do to fix it or improve my writing! I did write this at 1 am so theres bound to be a blip or two there 😅

[eirian]

regarding facets and the future of my story projects

hi guys !!  for those of u who have followed me since mirrors started (and ended) youve probably heard me talk about its sequel: facets!  ive always been very excited about facets and i still am.  

however, since writing it and finishing its prequel, ive realized that i dont actually enjoy making comics as much as i thought i did.  it’s really unfortunate b/c i love drawing my ocs and telling stories like this, and i love comics when theyre done, but the work and effort and time and energy that needs to go into my comics to make them look the way i want them to is just...not working out for me anymore. that’s part of why mirrors didn’t end as a comic and instead ended as a written story supported by illustrations scattered throughout it.

with this in mind, i’ve decided facets is going to go the same route; it will be in a written, text-based format, and it’ll have illustrations to support the story and offer a visual aid to what’s happening!  this is mostly for my mental and physical health at this point.  i hope you can understand and will still enjoy reading my story!

in the same vein, i have other story projects that id love to get out there--alien love, step, new light...maybe even doppelganger 2.  i’m a little sad about the whole thing, not gonna lie; ive always pictured these stories in a visual medium because i have visions in my head for certain scenes and expressions and reactions from characters, yknow?  especially stories like the shadow of doubt (remember shadowmancer?).  but its just so physically and mentally taxing i dont think its a good, viable option for me anymore.  i’d rather have a finished story with little to no artwork than a completely visual story that never ends up being finished.  maybe i’ll throw in mini comics here and there for scenes that i really have a mental image for, but other than that, no more comics from me going forward.

while i’m sad, i’m also excited a little, too; i love writing, and that was part of the fun of making comics for me anyway!  so hopefully youll still enjoy reading my writing even if it’s not in comic format <:) who knows--maybe one day i’ll turn some of my stories into short books or something.

now, in regards to villain + school: i feel like a story like this NEEDS to be in a visual format.  it just fits!  the character designs are absolutely meant to be in a visual medium.  still, v+s is actually what prompted me to make this post; i’ve been incredibly stressed about the comic and story for a hot minute and it’s gotten to where i had a mental crash over it yesterday, so i’m gonna need to step away from it for a while and do something else, as much as id love to keep at it.  in the future i will pick it back up, but i’m honestly considering either enlisting help from others (maybe for bg artists or colorists or maybe even more) to help lighten the workload and take some pressure off me, or--more excitingly--pitch it as a cartoon instead!

for now, though, v+s is taking a hiatus.  i’m sorry to anyone who may have gotten interested even a little--i’m invested, too, obviously!  i love the characters to death.  it’s just that the story has been driving me bonkers trying to write it and flesh it out, which is frustrating b/c this wasn’t the case with mirrors and facets, both of which were completely written and scripted out with ease...

i’m trying not to take this decision too negatively, though!  i know a few other creators who have fun character designs and fanbases around them when the main stories are actually books.  strong hearts are mandatory is the first thing that comes to mind, as well as warriors, which is huge and has an amazingly creative fanbase!  so i think i’ll be ok :)

anyway, thanks so much for your support along the way to making this decision!  i’ve absolutely loved the feedback and reactions ive gotten from my work up to now, and i hope you’ll stay with me for the rest of the ride and whatever the future may bring for me!

<3

[illumiru]

hi cami!! based on literally everything because you have good taste I was wondering if u had any fic recs?? I am in like a good fic desert and if u have any good reads would love to read them! thank u!!

Thanks!! I have to be honest that I don't read a lot of dc fics lately bc a lot of what's posted on AO3 doesn't appeal to me tbh. But I do have some favorites that live rent-free in my head. I hope you enjoy!

baby, it's a sign of the times by danishsweethearts

Dick Grayson has a pretty bad day, but hey, he's coping.

let your love grow tall by danishsweethearts

In a move endearingly predictable and highly amusing, Dick Grayson buys a bunch of plants and proceeds to pack bond with all of them.

cold was the night and hard was the ground by danishsweethearts

Laundromats are save points.

i've been longing for silence by danishsweethearts

The Titans are Dick's family. Damian is also Dick's family. Cue the collision.

un haeng il chi by danishsweethearts

un haeng il chi (언행일치) | yán xíng yī zhì (言行一致) idiom 1. word and actions coincide; to live up to one's word 2. to match words with deeds 3. practice what you preach

The Cassandra Wayne guide to truth-telling, manifestation and prosperity.

big d stands for big (demon)or by danishsweethearts

The one where Titans Tower is haunted, and Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder, original Robin, one and only Nightwing, esteemed leader, part-time exorcist, un-haunts it.

young volcanoes by dottie_wan_kenobi

You should join the Justice League, Dick says when he’s ten years old and hopeful. No, Bruce says. You should join the Justice League, Dick says when he’s fourteen and realistic. No, Bruce says. I’m going to join the Justice League, Dick says when he’s seventeen and furious. No, Bruce says. No, you are not.

Dick is nineteen now. And he’s not joining the Justice League—he’s joining the Titans.

the last of the real ones by dottie_wan_kenobi

Gar is like a blessing. He doesn’t seem to notice the shiny parts of Vic, not until it really counts—when there’s wires sticking out, something shoved through Vic like it was nothing, when he’s in danger. And even then, he treats them like any other part of the body, like a wound is a wound and it doesn’t matter that it’s not flesh, but technology.

When he asks, Gar tells him about Cliff Steele, and shrugs like it’s nothing. “I’m just used to robot guys, I guess,” he says, flippant like he’s not the first person Vic has met who didn’t recoil at the sight of him.

Vic manages a laugh, his eye—his real eye, his human eye—stinging.

if you just call me by BeatriceEagle

“Dick.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Dick, look at me.”

Slowly, as if he were pushing against a terrible force, he lifted his head.

“I have known you since I was thirteen years old, and I have known you in a dozen other lifetimes, so I need you to believe me when I say that there is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you.”

Dick held her gaze. He looked like he was searching for something in her eyes, so Donna held still and hoped he found it.

“Did you really know me in other lives?” he asked.

_____

Dick and Donna, after the action, through the years.

once upon a time... by Mayarene Rose (DickRoy)

The announcement is the talk of the kingdom. Men on horses, coming from the capital itself, shout it to every corner of the land to make sure everyone hears.

There will be a three-day festival held in honor of the crown prince’s name day!

So of course, no one can shut up about it and everyone’s making plans to make their way to the capital, one way or another.

Gotham, after all, isn’t known for its decadence. Celebrations from the capital are few and far in between. But, it’s also well known that the king absolutely dotes on his children. The has the makings of being the biggest feast anyone has seen in their lifetime.

“Huh,” Roy says. He’s in a farming village when he hears, about five days ride from the capital if he had a horse, which he does not.

Or the one where Roy is a knight errant, Dick is the crown prince, and there is a three-day celebration.

Dr. Wilson, Will I Ever Play the Violin Again? by HoodEx (DickJoey)

1 Missed Call 1:12 PM TUES 9 MAY Frank Hardy

A fond smile spreads over his face. He remembers Dick writing that as his own contact name in Joey's communicator the first time he and Joey exchanged numbers. Joey knows it's an action influenced by paranoia rather than something meant as an inside joke between friends, but he likes to think of it as a mixture of both.

"Who are you mooning over?"

Lissa crosses her arms over her chest and cuts across the room to get closer to him. Joey tries not to instinctually jerk his communicator closer to his chest as she peers down at it with a curious glint in her eye.

"Frank Hardy," Joey spells out with his fingers. "He's a friend of mine."

Her brow furrows. "Frank? Have I met him?"

Joey shakes his head.

"What do you think he was calling for?"

Hopefully not to tell me that the world is on its way to ending, Joey thinks, worrying at his lip.

"Not sure," Joey signs. His thumb hovers over the call-back button. "I guess I'm about to find out."

Red Letter Day by silverwhittlingknife

Dick Grayson, stressed pseudo-parent to a preteen assassin, tries to solve the case of Damian’s Mysterious Wednesday.

He never expected it to help him fix his relationship with Tim, too.

(... Though only after everything fell apart first.)

Eventual fix-it for Dick & Tim’s Red Robin fight, but other rocky relationships - Dick & Jason, Tim & Damian, Damian & Bruce, Dick & Bruce - wow, this family is dysfunctional - might improve too. Eventually. They just have to, y’know, work through All of Their Issues first. XD

Two of Six by silverwhittlingknife

There’s nothing special about this kid, no reason to remember him. But Dick remembers. Because of the photo.

Dick and Tim’s pre-nu52 relationship, from the beginning all the way to the end.

or: how Dick acquired a stalker, attempted to make him go away, and failed so badly that he acquired a brother instead.

(So far: missing scenes from childhood, Lonely Place of Dying, Knightfall, and Knightsend. Current arc: Prodigal.)

In the Palm of Your Hand by lapsedpacifist

Dick was forced into becoming a host for an entity of unknown strength, unknown motive, and unknown reach. The only thing he did know? It needed him alive.

Neurodegenerative series by lapsedpacifist

The general premise: Bruce has completely forgotten about Dick, and Dick only. Now tension is high between them and the rest of the family as they attempt to resolve the memory problem -- while drawing battlelines and realising that Dick had always been much more than a brother to them all.

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul

"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask."

— Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays

Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.

This is all I could think of at the moment! I'll add more once I read the ones I encountered while I made this list. Enjoy!!

[fandom-blackhole]

Sinful Sunday

AN: Alright everyone, here it is this week, and I just gotta say that they all are VERY sinful this week so go crazy lol. I do have a taglist for this now, so if you want added just let me know! (Also ik this is super early, but it is almost 3 am and I stayed up late writing these, and skipped a THOT and I just wanna wake up to validation)

Sinful Sunday Masterlist

Pairings: Captain Rex x Reader, Commander Wolffe x Reader, Boba Fett x Reader, SUB!Din Djarin x Reader

Rex was finally home on leave after months of being away on missions and leading men into dangerous battles. After being separated for so long it was hard to believe that you were actually cuddled up to him with his chest to your back watching a movie in your living room. The movie that was playing had been some movie that released while Rex had been away and he had specifically requested to watch, saying he thought it looked good. But here you were, neither of you paying attention to the movie, at all. It had started innocently, Rex just running his hand along your hip and thigh as he actually watched the movie. But it was very obvious that the touches didn't stay innocent long no matter how much he tried to fake it. Soon his hand started moving its path more towards your inner thigh, then higher up your inner thigh, high enough that with each pass he brushed softly against your clothed core. It wasn't until Rex was working his hand into your sweats and panties that you grabbed his hand and groaned out, "You wanted to watch this." Rex replied almost immediately, and in a whispered, almost needy, tone right in your ear, "Sorry darling, but I just can't help myself, I havent seen you in so long." And with that he pushed his hand out of your grip and slid his fingers right through you wet lips, brushing over your clit making you whine, and shoving his fingers as deep as possible into you, drawing out a gasp of his name from your lips. Rex only took enough time to groan about how wet and warm you were before he started fingering you like his life depended on it. As always Rex knew where to hit inside of you to bring you the most pleasure, and as he did he kissed and sucked on your neck. As Rex's fingers sped up you couldn't help but to grind down against his palm and when your clit was pressed into his palm you couldn't stop the shout that passed you lips, and you could feel the smirk that spread across Rex's face when you did. You felt yourself get closer and closer to your peak, and as Rex felt you start to tighten on his fingers he made sure that with every grind of your hips your were rubbing your clit on his palm. It took you no time at all to reach down and grab his hand over your clothes as you moaned out his name and came explosively all over his hand. When you finally caught your breath, you looked over your shoulder to look Rex in the eyes, only to find them blown wide in lust and him growling, "I hope you're ready, because I am far from done with you, darling."

Moderb!Captain Rex x Reader

So this THOT bloomed from the idea of Modern AU Captain Rex, who is still a captain in the army so you rarely get to see him because he is active duty.....

The first time the two of you actually had sex you had been surprised when Wolffe had buried his teeth into you shoulder as he came. You hadn't brought it up after, especially considering he hadn't broken any skin and only left teeth marks and a decent bruise that you would run your fingers over in the coming days while he was away on a mission. After that the bites and nips started happening more often, and you couldn't help but enjoy the feeling and the colorful marks he left for you that reminded you of him while he was gone. Neither of you brought it up, but it was obvious that both of you enjoyed it.

Commander Wolffe x Reader

Okay so another clone boi is getting a THOT this week and it is the sexy and grumpy Wolffe and his biting kink that he soooo has and I refuse to believe otherwise......

It wasn't until after a particularly long mission that when he was getting ready to go down on you, you gently pulled his hair to pull him away from you. And while avoiding eye contact you mumbled out asking him to bite and leave marks all over your thighs, and well, Wolffe didn't need to be told twice. Immediately feeling list flow through his veins Wolffe praised whatever deity was out there for giving him the perfect significant other, and went to town. Wolffe liked and gave soft nips to one thigh first before kissing a spot by your inner thigh and following it quickly with his teeth. He repeated that action two more times on that thigh before switching to the other one and starting the whole process over again. By the time wilffe was finished both of your thighs were covered in marks that were already bruising and you were a squirming mess. Wolffe, running out of patience and just wanting to fuck you silly and leave a few more marks an your shoulders, stood quickly and slammed into you with a grunt.

You were honestly kind of suprised that you managed to get Boba to sit on the edge of the bed and agree to him letting you pleasure him for once. But now, as you kneeled between his thighs, with his thick cock standing tall in front of your face you wondered where you should even begin. And what was making it worse was that Boba was watching your every move intently. You gingerly reached out and wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, noting that your fingers didn't even wrap around completely because he was so thick, and then you leaned forward and gave the head a small kitten lick that dragged a small grunt from Boba. Feeling a bit more confident you wrapped your lips entirely around the tip and sucked and ran your tongue around it and over his slit, which is what cause Boba to tangle his fingers in your hair and pull slightly, grumbling about no teasing. Smirking, you pull back and spit in your palm before wrapping your hand around his base again and start moving your hand up and down at a nice steady pace. Then you smile up at him before leaning back down and swallowing as much of his cock down your thoat as possible, which wasn't as much as you would have liked. Boba cursed, and you could feel his hips twitch wanting to thrust up bjt he held back. Then you went to work bobbing your head and pumping your hand in time, while curving your tongue along the under side of his cock. You stayed at this pace, occasionally pulling off for air, before plunging him down your throat again. At some point you look up to meet his gaze at the same time you cup his balls and that's when you saw his resolve break. With a curse Boba's hand in you hair tighten more than you thought possible and he apologized quietly before lifting his hips to start fucking your mouth and throat. It didn't take long at all before you felt his cock twitch and balls tight, before he pulled out so his head was the only thing still in your mouth and he spilled everything, completely filling your mouth and some dribbling out with the spit trailing your chin and neck.

Boba Fett x Reader

And because my head is full of THOTS for Boba, here is a tiny THOT that is literally just giving Boba some head....

You weren't sure how you got into this situation entirely, but maker you were so turned on by this turn of events. The original plan had been to only put the strap on and give Din everything he had ever given you and more. But the second you put the strap on this time, you instantly went into a power trip, and from the way you had Din on his knees licking and sucking on the plastic cock you were currently sporting, well you think it would be safe to say that he too was enjoying the turn of events. Gripping onto his hair you tsked at him and made him look you in the eyes, "Oh, pretty boy, if you are gonna suck my cock, you're gonna have to do it right. Open up for me." The second he did you groaned at his obedience and you cooed out good boy, before slowly starting to slide the dildo into his mouth, you gave him a few shallow thrusts,  before slowly and steadily pushing the entire thing down his throat, which him only gagging once. You groaned and gripped his hair telling him, "Kriff, you're such a good boy, why don't you suck this cock for a minute and then I'll fuck you like I promised." As you spoke you saw his own cock twitch between his thighs before he started bobbing slowly on the strap. Like you promised, it only took about a minute before you got impatient and pulled him off and you leaned down to kiss his forehead and told him to climb onto the bed and lay down.

Din Djarin x Reader

Haha, did I hear more Sub!Din? No, well too bad, here's some filthy Din getting pegged.....

You quickly followed and kneeled between his thighs, throwing one leg over your shoulder and keeping the other on you hip as you pressed into Din slowly and watched his eyes close and forehead wrinkle up in pleasure. Once you were fully inside you praised him for taking you so well and rewarded him by pumping his weeping cock a few times, which resulted in a long groan and a choked, "please!" Abliging him you started giving small harsh thrusts, circling you hips, and trying to find the spot that made him moan your name so sweetly. The second you hit his prostate you knew because he did just that and you drilled into him while smirking and watching the flush flow across his face, ears, neck, and chest. The sight was beautiful and hot and you told him just that, which pulled a whine from him as he turned his head and buried it in the pillow. You spent alot of time at this pace and angle praising him and pouring as much pleasure into Din as possible, but then he brokenly whimpered out your name and a "please...moOore." Smiling you lean down to his ear and say, "Only because you asked so nicely, pretty boy." And you pulled almost completely out of him before slamming back in, and you grabbed his angrily red cock and started pumping it in time with your thrusts. Din didn't stand a chance to hold out much longer and after a handful of quick thrusts and pumps he was cumming all over you hand with a shout as you continued to rail into his prostate to drag out his pleasure. When you were satisfied that you couldn't give him anymore, you gently laid down his legs on the bed, and slowly and carefully pulled out of him, before standing up intent on cleaning him up so the two of you could cuddle peacefully.

Taglist: @ollovaemisc @googiebeankat @shellyc9 @vikingqueen28 @altarsw @rosegoldarti @groovinomicon @jessaminejaylinnreaper @randomfangir12718 @moodsare @virgil-nonbinary @embonbon @meabravo @joculatrices @evensisacaption @saveatruckrideoptimusprime @hayley-the-comet @blackmarketmummy @callme-eds @fuckyeahbeskar (crossed out names are ones I couldn't tag, sorry!)

[anniebibananie]

love your ray and heather story! i don't know if you're accepting prompts, but would you write something about heather finding out about ray running into the fire for her?? I just need that SCENE

thank you! i'm so happy you enjoyed i wish i could leave you my love.

also ty for the prompt it's been a while but i do love writing prompts so here you goooooo

[side note: wyattnash on ao3 (if someone knows their tumblr lmk) also wrote a oneshot for this premise: Blame it on the Flame]

my heather & ray playlist for listening as u read

***

It's been two months since Panic ended. As much as Panic ever ends for someone who has played it, or for Carp where Panic sometimes feels like its secret beating heart. The one thing that keeps the youth of this town alert, alive, aching for bigger and better things.

Panic may be dumb, but sometimes Heather thinks it's the one thing that reminds them all they have any say at all in their own lives.

"Heather! You dropped this," comes a voice from behind her, and Heather turns. Drew is holding out the pack of crayons she'd just bought from the pharmacy, which clearly fell from between her arms. "Seems important," he says with a kind smile.

"Thanks, Drew." Heather sighs as she reaches out and takes the pack, stacking it back into the crook of her arm with the toilet paper rolls and bottle of ibuprofen she'd just purchased.

Lily is out of crayons, and Heather can't forget the expressive hope in her eyes when she'd asked for more. Her and Ray had started drawing together on afternoons when he was over, and Heather wasn't going to be a contributing factor in ending that wholesome activity. Something they both seemed to enjoy.

"Lily would be sad if her and Ray couldn't work on the town map they've spent the last week drawing together. I've never seen either of them so focused on anything." She puffs out a breath.

It came as a surprise at first to see Ray so tender with Lily, so receptive, until Heather thought about it and realized maybe it wasn't a surprise at all. Ray, at his core, is a sweet person who simply had built a million protective shells around it. That's what kind people who live in the dirt were forced to do. Heather got it.

Drew's eyebrows quirk up. "You and Ray going well then?"

"Hm?" Heather tilts her head. She knows what he's asking, but Heather isn't ready to spill her guts on the sidewalk to Drew. Even if she likes Drew.

Because what her and Ray have has grown into something tender, too. Something she holds so closely and dearly to her chest that sometimes she's afraid if she holds it in the palm of her hand someone might grab it away, tear it before she can stop them.

Drew rolls his eyes. "You're not tricking anyone. He's such an asshole sometimes, but when we all saw him run into Graybill's house after you? I've never heard anyone scream someone's name like that. Dude was so into you even then."

Her eyebrows scrunch, meeting in the middle. "Graybill's house? What are you talking about?"

Now Drew is the one confused. "No one ever told you? As soon as we realized you and Natalie were missing he ran straight back into the fire. I can't believe no one mentioned it."

The conversation fades quickly after that, Heather making some passing remark, and the two saying goodbye companionably. But Heather can't stop thinking about it. The image of Ray running straight into the fire, calling her name, trying to save her from danger.

That was after she'd upset him. Even then he cared. Which isn't really a surprise, either, she supposes, but it does something to her heart. Makes it tighter, the fondness tightening something wicked in her chest. The inescapable feeling she has for him even more irrevocable.

***

She returns home to find Ray and Lily already in place. Heather ditches the toilet paper and other odds and ends into a nearby chair, tossing the crayons onto the coffee table they're circled around.

Ray looks up at her with a smile, dimple on display, that makes a smile of her own grow across her features.

"Thank you, Heather!" Lily sings, and Heather shoots a look her way before going to kiss the top of her head.

"Course, bug." She pauses to look at the map. They've made good progress. It has streets and houses drawn out but also little things. A book colored by the library. A pair of scissors by the hairdressers and a little heart Heather knows Lily must have drawn for their mom, even now. "Ray? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Ooo," Lily jokes, though her head remains dipped forward in concentration.

Ray holds out his hand, and Heather releases a huff of breath as she pulls him up to standing. He kisses her briefly, hands still connected between them, and she rolls her eyes.

They make their way to the kitchen, where Heather gets a pot of water boiling for dinner before turning around and kicking her foot at his leg.

He tilts his head, crowding closer to her. "What's that for, Nill? Gonna reprimand me?"

She crosses her arms, mostly because she wants to maintain some distance while she says what comes next. Ray can be too persuasive when he closes in, making her forget words she wants to say.

"You ran into the fire at Graybill's." It's not a question because they both know the answer.

She watches his face, and there's that wrecked look again he'd given her after she asked about the words he said on the bridge. Like she's seen a part of him he hadn't actually anticipated anyone getting a glimpse of, and he dips his head. It comes to rest on her shoulder for a second before he pulls back.

"How'd you find out?"

"Not telling." Her lips twist into something between a smirk and a smile. "You don't get to get hurt because of me, okay? That's not love."

He hums, clearly not agreeing, and Heather is mad at him almost. The fact that he believes his life to be more disposable than hers, but she supposes she's honored, too. That Ray would be willing to do that for her and not seek thanks, not even needing her to know it.

"My only regret is I couldn't save you." He shakes his head, looking out the window over the kitchen for a minute instead of at her. "But you didn't need me, hey? Did it all on your own like the badass you are."

"I am a badass," she agrees. He turns his head back with a laugh, and he flows like water when she pulls him in by the belt loops to kiss her. "Thank you, but you don't do that again, okay?"

"Panic is over, remember? No more opportunities to throw myself into the flames for Heather Nill."

Which isn't an agreement, and Heather thinks it's wrong anyways because Panic is never over for them. Panic is a game they're alway playing, trying to keep themselves calm to get through all of the challenges Carp throws at them.

But she loves him. She really does, and she thinks she'd probably do the same if she had to. The way she'd gotten behind the wheel for Lily. The way she'd jumped from a cliff for freedom. She would do a lot for the people she loves.

"You're an idiot," she reminds him, words meant to be sharp but coming out fragile anyways.

His smile is radiant. "Yours, though," and he kisses her again against the counter.

Yes, she thinks. You are.