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saintobio · 5 months

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sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem.

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that.

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you.

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe?

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him.

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.”

Talk about self-control.

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss?

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member.

What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch?

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself.

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh?

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you.

“Y/N…”

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of?

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.

No, no…

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.

“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight.

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine.

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home.

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen.

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast.

Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?”

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks.

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?”

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her.

“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.”

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?”

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.”

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance.

The only problem was you.

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise.

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?”

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.”

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.”

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself.

You agreed.

And he did his part.

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro.

——

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started.

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi.

The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl.

Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip.

Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end.

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories.

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured.

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here.

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!”

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.”

“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.”

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent.

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?”

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.”

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.”

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.”

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.”

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.”

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.”

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.”

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully.

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.”

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this.

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward.

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father.

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job.

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy.

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him.

Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo.

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe.

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.”

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.”

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond.

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji?

Either way, you were on your own now.

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted.

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers.

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle.

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?”

He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?”

“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.”

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?”

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.”

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it.

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there.

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event?

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events.

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.”

Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?”

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.”

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.”

“Did you ask?”

“He’s tight-lipped about it.”

You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through.

“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.”

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.”

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes.

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise.

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times?

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden?

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?”

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then?

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body.

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.”

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.”

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth.

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice.

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.”

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Alcohol is a truth serum.

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all.

A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side.

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son.

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him.

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around.

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?”

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.”

“—Satoru?”

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely.

Sera and Sukuna.

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child.

He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.”

Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.”

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit.

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home.

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him.

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.”

“...Same.”

Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.”

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.”

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.”

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo.

What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time.

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you.

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to.

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him.

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do.

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him.

You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind.

You had to have your son. You had to hold him.

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!”

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son?

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.”

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.”

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back.

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?”

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence.

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother.

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through?

How many more tears do you have to hold back?

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend.

Now, he even refused to go home with you.

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck.

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you?

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.”

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.”

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.”

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you.

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.”

#series: sincerely yours #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo angst #jjk angst #gojo satoru angst #gojou satoru x reader #gojou satoru x yn

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poppadom0912 · 4 months

Text

Excuses

Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries

Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.

A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.

I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!

Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!

Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.

Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.

Since day one, you knew you hated her.

It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.

This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.

Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.

In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.

The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.

Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.

So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.

However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.

"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.

She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.

"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."

Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."

You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.

It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.

However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.

Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.

Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.

Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.

With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.

You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.

*****

It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.

That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.

Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.

They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.

In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.

Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.

"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.

"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.

"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."

"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."

Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.

"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"

"Go get her. We're done here."

*****

Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.

"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.

"It's Y/N."

Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.

"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.

"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."

"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"

You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.

Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.

It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.

"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.

And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.

"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."

Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.

"Hmm, maybe."

*****

Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.

Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.

He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.

Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.

One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.

This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.

It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.

"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"

The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.

"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"

This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."

The principal remained silent.

"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"

The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.

#onechicago #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #halstead sister #jay halstead #will halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x reader #will halstead imagine #will halstead x sister!reader

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lustspren · 5 months

Text

Darkbloom ft Arin.

length: 7k words✦

Arin & Male Reader

genres: succubus¡ (or maybe something else) dom¡ Arin, femdom, cum denial, hard sex, bdsm, diabolical breeding (?, blowjob, overstimulation, thriller, horror attempt (?

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Skepticism is a double-edged sword. You learned that in a way that you wouldn't wish even on your worst enemy.

You were always told to take care of your stress, keep it at a healthy level so that it didn't affect other aspects of your life and your physique, but life events weren't exactly working in your favor. Quite the opposite.

Abusive boss at work, parents who do nothing but trample all your achievements and point you out for what you could be but aren't yet, a completely brainless roommate, a landlord who made your life miserable with the rent, and if all that wasn't enough, you were a complete failure in love. Things seemed impossible to get worse, but you were very wrong.

All the accumulated stress began to take its toll on you one by one. The mildest thing was the constant headaches and chest pains, but as the days went by your face began to stain, it wasn't acne, but you had more pimples and blackheads than normal. You didn't worry too much about it, you just bought a few skin care products and the problem went away.

Until anxiety arrived. And for that there were no products you could buy.

It wasn't something pleasant at all, especially considering that they were random episodes when you least expected it. Knots in the pit of your stomach, panic attacks in high-stress situations, a constant layer of nerves wherever you go, lack of appetite, etc. You lived with it every day, but that didn't stop you from staying strong and continuing to fight life with your head held high.

But since there were never enough misfortunes, something happened to you that, in your 22 years of life, had never happened to you. Sleep disorders. They weren't a big deal at first, from 3 nights you could suffer from insomnia in 2, and it wasn't even anything severe, it just delayed your usual bedtime a little, however, everything went downhill very quickly. The insomnia had almost completely disappeared, but now every time you woke up you felt as if an African elephant had walked over you several times. You slept, but you didn't rest. And that led to the damn narcolepsy.

Just like anxiety, it came at the most unexpected times and in the most inopportune situations. You got more than one scolding at work because of that, and your boss, as asshole as always, didn't even bother to try to understand you or find a solution to your problem no matter how much you explained it to him. Of course you never told him that he was part of the problem.

Everything accumulated, and as if living with anxiety problems, headaches, narcolepsy, and poor sleep wasn't enough, strange things began to happen.

One night you went to bed early, it had been an extremely exhausting day and you had a migraine that was going to kill you at any moment. You thought that valerian tea would help you sleep peacefully that night, and surprisingly you were right, but when you woke up in the morning you felt an intense burning on the right side of your body that went from your ribs to the mid of your thigh. You thought it was due to a bad sleeping position, surely the fabric of your pajamas had been making some kind of harmful friction, but when you undressed to take a shower you froze when you realized that what was burning on you was a large mark of red-hot scratch with a little blood seeping from several of the wounds that, you didn't have to be very smart to know were from a hand. You would associate it with something caused by sleepwalking issues, and taking into account your recent history it wouldn’t have surprised you, but those were nail marks. And your nails were neither long, nor sharp.

You were never a believer in paranormal things, you looked for a logical explanation for everything or left it as a mystery, no matter how incredible it was. But with the incident that night, no matter how much you turned it over in your head and discussed it with one of your close friends, you couldn't come to any coherent conclusion. Something had given you that scratch. Something big.

However, being the skeptic that you were, you didn't let that affect your bedtime —which was already screwed up enough. You continued to sleep every night with the same false optimism, thinking that it was only a matter of time before the insomnia and all your sleep problems would disappear. Much to your misfortune, this time you were wrong. And not only that, the worst was yet to come.

One day you couldn't stop tossing and turning in bed, looking for a comfortable position to sleep for about an hour. Finally you were just on your back, with one leg drawn up towards your body, your left arm on your chest and the other on your head. You did your best to relax with breathing exercises, and after a few minutes you fell asleep.

Hours later you woke up with a start, agitated and in a cold sweat. Your chest inflated and deflated as if moments ago something had been cutting off your breath to an almost fatal point. You didn't remember anything at all, you hadn't even had a nightmare as such, everything just went from deep black to sitting in your bed, at 3 in the morning, with the strange feeling that you were being watched. Everything seemed in order, but the aura in the bedroom was heavy, as if you were at a high latitude where oxygen became more difficult to breathe. You looked to the left, towards the door whose lower frame let in the light from your hallway, and then to the right, staring out through the translucent curtains that covered the exit to your balcony. The deep silence was overwhelming even though you were used to it, but the wind began to howl, shaking the branches and leaves of the tree that was right in front of your residential building. It was normal at that time, but it started to blow harder, to the point where you thought the tree was going to fall. Your anxiety attacked the pit of your stomach, and as panic began to take over your body, you heard a feminine laugh in the distance that gave you goosebumps.

Despite being several meters away from your window you could hear it clearly. It was creepy, high pitched and uncontrolled, like those you heard coming from witches in the movies, but she didn't sound like an old, dilapidated and crazy woman, she sounded like a whole and upright young woman. It could have been your suggestion at the time, but you felt as if the echo of laughter was resonating within your walls. You soon realized that wasn't the case, but rather the laughter was getting closer and closer. Until he was inside your room.

The noise came from all directions, from the floor, from the ceiling, from the corners and from the walls. It felt like a powerful sound system installed inside the concrete, playing the unbearable sound over and over again. You desperately covered your ears with your pillow, but the noise was so loud it was useless. You had an uncontrolled urge to cry, but just when a tear was about to run down your cheek everything stopped. Sudden silence, once again.

Distrustful, you slowly removed the pillow from your ears, looking at every corner of your room in case the macabre woman appeared, but nothing happened. Everything was still in deep silence, even the wind had stopped blowing, and when you decided to lie down with your heart still in your throat, something started trying to open your door.

With a scream you turned and stared at the door, the knob was moving violently, and the entire door seemed about to fall out of the frame because of how hard it shook. You looked through the frame below, expecting to see the shadow of whoever was trying to break in, but there was nothing. Whatever it was, it was doing it from inside. You were immersed in a deep dread that led you to hide under your covers like a little child, just waiting for everything to stop. A few seconds passed in which you simply stayed in the fetal position, did breathing exercises to counteract the panic, and clung to your pillow as if it were going to protect you. That thing would come in any second, you were already resigned, but everything stopped. Sepulchral silence.

You didn't want to get out from under the covers, the fear that something was still out there not letting you move. The notion of time became blurry for you, it could have been 10 minutes or an hour until you gathered the courage to peek over the top edge of your blanket. There was nothing in your room, everything was still perfectly in order.

Your phone served as a distraction for a few minutes. You scrolled through every social network non-stop, looking for stimuli that would make you relax and forget about what just happened. However, the funny posts did not make you laugh, the tender things did not move you, and the news did not produce the slightest emotion in you. And even though you were still terrified, your body demanded you sleep again, so you put the phone aside and turned to your natural side, turning your back to the door.

But looking there made your blood run cold. The glass door that led to the balcony, which you locked every night without fail, opened.

You couldn't sleep the rest of the night.

From that day on you decided to finally try to make a change in your life. You had a small savings fund that was going to help you survive for at least a month, so you quit your job. Your parents reproached you for this, but you cut off communication with them in absolutely every way. Two stress sources less. Thanks to that you had several days of peaceful rest. You believed that everything would get better for you, however, you had the feeling that it was already too late.

Everything had disappeared, your anxiety, your stress problems, your insomnia and your narcolepsy, but now there was one last big problem that was the icing on the cake. Sleep paralysis.

Same as always, it started in an almost harmless way. The paralysis lasted less than a minute, nothing comparable to those that followed. It got worse and worse with each day, you heard whispers, voices, shadows where before there was nothing, dark silhouettes that looked at you from outside the balcony, and worst of all, you woke up with random scratches and bruises on parts of your body that you would never have hurt yourself.

That was not an impediment for you to continue living your life normally, it was going too well for the first time in a long time for something that happened only once during the night to ruin it, so you decided to focus on the good part that life offered you. Exercise and good nutrition became part of your daily routine, as well as normal interpersonal relationships. Many toxic friendships that did not bring you anything good were also put aside, and you felt like a fuller human being since then. Your life was going so well that sleep paralysis seemed like a rather small price to pay compared to what you got after overcoming it.

But you remember when I said the worst was yet to come, right? Yeah, yes you do.

The worst night of your life. At that moment you thought it would be the last.

That night you had your valerian tea as you always did, an hour before your bedtime. It had been a productive day for you, in the morning you went to the gym, you came home and then you went out to lunch with a girl you met at one of your training sessions, and when you got home you dedicated yourself to building a Lego set that you had saved for a long time, but you left it halfway because you got distracted and got busy with other things.

When you put on your pajamas and got under the blanket you were more than ready to face whatever you were hallucinating when you woke up in the middle of the night. That had become a habit for you, and you already knew how to get out of it quickly. But this time you noticed strange things again, none of them were especially strange as such, but things that hadn't happened months ago and that were now all coming together. To begin with, the wind was blowing much stronger, just like that traumatic night, and a light drizzle disturbed the previously profound silence that characterized the street where you lived. It was not unpleasant for you, the sound of the drops falling in a certain way contributed to your tranquility and relaxation.

One of the dogs on your street was howling repeatedly, and no matter how much Mrs. Yvonne told him to shut up, he just wouldn't stop. The last time he had done that it was because someone who lived in that house had died, but earlier that day you had greeted Mrs. Yvonne's daughter on the way to the gym and everything seemed in order. The howl could be heard far away and was covered by the sound of the drizzle, so it didn't bother you either. Maybe the booming music just a few apartments away could have been a little annoying, but you could perfectly fall asleep that way. After a while looking at your social networks you were ready to close your eyes, and when you turned to your side you saw something that you wanted to never see again. The damn door was open again, just like that night.

Not wanting to give in to panic, you got out of bed as quickly as you could and closed the door again, but not before taking a look at the long street in front of your balcony. Everything looked as usual, only now the asphalt shone from the reflection of the lights in the puddles that the drizzle was beginning to form. You could see the dog howling at the window of the third floor apartment at the end of the street. You noticed that in his pauses between howling he was looking in your direction. A chill ran down your spine, but you wanted to think it was just a coincidence. You turned to go back to your bed, but first you looked at the Eiffel Tower behind the Paris buildings, hoping that perhaps its light would protect you from the night. How deluded.

As you settled back into your bed you thought about the door, this time trying to fool yourself that it would surely have a logical explanation this time. Maybe this time you did forget, or maybe the wind had shaken it in such a way that the lock came out of place. Whatever it was, you weren't about to ruin your night, so you just turned your back on the balcony, hugged your second pillow and closed your eyes.

You opened your eyes and you were in the most terrifying, atrocious and colossally brutal place you could imagine. The glare of the gurgling river of lava just meters from your feet blinded you and prevented you from seeing the entire scene. You took a few hasty steps backwards, tripping over a rock that made you fall on your butt to the ground, the dark, hot reddish sand staining your hands. When your eyes got used to that light you felt like your soul was leaving your body. Hundreds of people of all ages and ethnicities, chained one behind the other by rusty metal hooks stuck in their empty eye sockets, slowly walking along the river of lava that stretched from up the hill, winding through large rocks of all shapes, most of them with sharp peaks and whose foundations fell off to fall into the lava with big splashes.

The line of people moved forward at slow, tortuous steps, their decomposed and burned bodies somehow still standing. Their feet were scorched up to the fibula thanks to the lava, and their hands were cut off so that they couldn't remove the hooks from where there used to be eyes. But they still had a mouth with which to scream in deep agony and suffering, in a way so heartbreaking that it penetrated your bones and managed to convey to you what they felt. You wanted to look where they were going, but your stupor didn't let you take your eyes off what was watching those people.

Humanoid-looking figures, as tall as a four-story building, with spindly limbs and glossy skin as black as the night itself. They were not wearing any clothes, so their thin, almost bony physique was completely exposed. They also had no facial features, just slight depressions where their eyes should be and a line that ran from their chin to the middle of their neck. Their heads were completely bald, and the fingers of their hands were long and pointed, reminding you of the legs of a spider. They did not interfere in any way with those condemned to torture, they only limited themselves to watching while they prowled around in an apparently intelligent manner. Detailing them, you realized that they did not walk, they floated just centimeters off the ground. All looked exactly the same, some flew away into the air and disappeared in the smoke, others stayed to watch with interest what was happening there.

You looked away for a second, and as you looked further the river became thinner and thinner and the rocks much bigger, now looking more like small mountains. Behind them, a flaming lava fall that came from so high the smoke prevented you from seeing the origin. It was like a huge hellish cave with no roof, a cave in which you were trapped with those things.

You tried to run, but when you tried to turn around, something kept you pinned in place. You didn't feel anything touching you, it was as if your entire body was inside an intangible prison that made your paralyzed muscles vibrate and feel outside that plane. You would soon discover the horrible reason. One of those things was facing your direction. No, in fact it was looking at you. The thing had no eyes, but you knew it, you knew that you had attracted its attention. Not exactly for the better.

You were terrified, you wanted with all your might for that horrible nightmare to end. The humanoid thing, however, had other plans. If it had any plan. The vibrating feeling in your body disappeared, that was a good thing. But you no longer felt your body at all. The next thing you knew, you were levitating very slowly away from the ground, and that damn thing was coming towards you. It wasn't until it was in front of you and you were level with its non-existent face that you really realized the colossal magnitude of that thing. Its head was easily larger than your entire entire body.

You levitated in the air in front of the thing for a few seconds that felt like hours. You didn't know for sure if looking at the slits that it had instead of eyes was the right thing to do, but you couldn't do anything else, in fear even your eyes were paralyzed.

After a while of just floating you started moving again, this time forward. The line that ran down to its neck, which from that distance you noticed looked like a stitched scar with hundreds of small interlocking stitches, opened wide to either side. There was nothing inside, and that was the scary thing. It was pure black in there, not a hint of shadow, or light, or anything. Pure emptiness that you didn't know why, but you had the feeling that it wasn't emptiness itself. There was something in there, something that perhaps escaped your understanding as well as that of the human being.

You floated slowly in there, unable to scream or move a single muscle. Your limbs disappeared into nothingness, and the only thing your peripheral vision saw was pure black. The sound was completely suppressed, similar to when you went underwater. And when you noticed the scar closing behind you, you woke up with such a start that your chest hurt.

You tried to scream with all your might, but nothing came out of your mouth. You also tried to move without any success. Another damn sleep paralysis. You closed your eyes, already used to the sensation and knowing how to get out. However, no matter how much you closed your eyes, the paralysis did not go away. Resigned, you opened your eyes again, thinking that maybe it was a matter of time, but looking around your room you realized that something was not right.

A shadow in the upper corner of your room. It shouldn't be there, there was absolutely nothing to project it, much less when your entire room was dark and the only light in it came from outside. You stared in that direction, and then you heard that damn laugh again, only this time it was within your four walls. It came from the darkness. You were coming from a horrifying nightmare worthy of the most disturbing horror movies, the last thing you needed to hear that maniacal laugh again. The shadow seemed to pulsate with a life of its own with each laugh, and spread in all directions until it broke away from the corner. A speck of pure blackness floated slowly through your room, and after a few turns around each corner, it came down to you. You shouldn't have, but you felt weight on your body. Not the typical feeling that there was something on top of you like in all sleep paralysis. No, there was something on top of you.

The darkness had materialized into a physical object. More specifically a person, who was straddling you and who you could see. She was a woman, but not just any woman, possibly one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your entire life. She looked dark due to the lack of light, yet you could make out a faint shine in the dark brown hair that passed behind her ears and fell free down her back. You would have been somewhat turned on by the fact that she had two pretty small breasts exposed, if it weren't for the two enormous horns protruding from either side of her head, curving back and then forward in a hooked shape. Her horns weren't the only thing different about her, so was the strange artificial fabric that seemed to cover every part of her body except for her torso, neck, crotch, and apparently her buttocks. Detailing it, you realized that it looked exactly like the skin of those things in your nightmare, and that it was part of her body, not some kind of suit. A symbiotic relationship between woman and... something.

Dread invaded your body again.

"What's wrong, little boy?" the woman asked with a giggle that you knew more than well. She leaned forward, and you delved into her delicate, princely features. Completely contrasting with the two shiny black irises in her eyes, "Oh... right, you can't talk," her voice sounded like any girl's, even sweet.

She raised a hand and brought a long, sharp nail to your mouth. The nail didn't touch you, but it seemed to tear something in the air around your lips. You were finally able to scream in terror.

"What are you?!! What's going on?!!" you whimpered, trying to move even a single muscle in vain.

"You humans are too stupid to understand," she leaned in even closer, her breasts now pressed against your chest, her face inches from yours, "But I think you saw something very similar to me in that nightmare of yours," Her smile gave you chills. She didn't have teeth, she had blades.

"A-are you one of those things?!"

"See? You're too much of an idiot," she remarked, "I'm one of those things... but at the same time I'm not. If I were, you'd already be dead inside the void."

"The w-...what?"

"In your nightmare one of my kind swallowed you, right? Inside you cease to exist. Your body leaves the physical plane, and your soul is sent into nothingness. Nothing pleasant of course. But luckily for you..." she pressed her nail in the middle of your chest and moved down past your navel, tearing your t-shirt along the way, "I'm not here to do that."

"Please leave me alone... I haven't hurt anyone! I'm a good person!!" Despair grew more and more inside you, and with it, fear.

"I don't care if you're a good person or a bad person," she laughed again, "I just care about what's right here..." her hand moved down to your crotch to cup it against your cock.

"Don't touch me, god, please don't," you wanted to cry, but your eyes didn't even produce tears, "Don't hurt me!"

"Aw..." she straightened, "but I'm not going to hurt you! At least... not too much," her macabre smile spread from ear to ear, and her eyes looked at you before she transformed back into a shadow

The speck of darkness, smaller and more concentrated this time, fluttered throughout your entire body. You tried to follow her with your eyes, but the only thing you saw was how all your clothes were torn to pieces by what you knew were her nails. Once again you tried to scream, but nothing. When you were practically naked she materialized again on top of you, and your body began to burn everywhere. When you looked at yourself you noticed that your entire body was scratched and red hot, some wounds were even bleeding a bit.

"Stop trying to yell, you're annoying," she rolled her eyes, "and don't make me stop you from talking again."

"What are you going to do with me?! Why me?!"

"Because you used to be a little ball of negative emotions... you lured me here. And there's no turning back, not until you give me your darkbloom seed," you didn't have to be a genius to understand what she meant by that.

"But I'm not one of yours!!"

"I know. But I'm not looking to create one of my own..." her devilish smile terrified you again. On the other hand, you weren't completely in control of your body, and her thighs even covered in that fabric felt pleasant on either side of your hip, "You wouldn't understand. You're a stupid, primitive human."

"Y-You're not a demon, aren't you?"

"Demons don't exist, fool. Stop asking questions, you wouldn't want your little brain to explode with information it can't understand... wouldn't you?" She brought her hand closer to your cock, you feared thinking she would rip it off, but she just subtly grabbed it and started rubbing it. You hated that it felt good, but you hated more how you went rock hard in a matter of seconds.

She kept moving her hand on your cock, maybe a little too hard, but it felt like any other girl's hand—clearly none of those girls were half of a species unknown to you. At first she did it slowly, and you enjoyed it. In a normal circumstance you would have let out a small moan, but you couldn't produce any sound other than words.

"Just… don't kill me," you pleaded, looking into her eyes. The fear in you didn't go away, but you weren't going to let it control you. It's not like you could do anything anyway, you just didn't want to give in to panic and test the patience of a supernatural being.

"No one said anything about killing you. But I hope your body can withstand what I'll do to it."

The woman got off you and lay down on one side of you, with her head above yours, so that what was on your right were her pair of pretty tits. You didn't know why, but you wanted them in your mouth. She raised a thigh on top of yours, the artificial fabric covering her body feeling soft and warm against your skin. Her body pressed against the side of yours, her pussy—seemingly as normal as her tits—rubbing against your pubic bone.

"Suck my tits. You humans love that, don't you?" she ordered over your head. Her hand gradually moved faster on your hard cock.

"To human women... yes," you believed what you were saying, but those tits and she looked like a human, "I-I can't move anyway."

"I'd let you move and take control. But I don't think you want to suffer the side effects of touching me with your hands," she moved her hand faster, and suddenly you were able to gasp.

"And they are?"

"You could become addicted to me. Dependent on my body. And believe me, you wouldn't want that," was what she said before covering your view with her chest and putting one of her tits in your mouth.

You expected a different taste, maybe a pungent or rotten taste, but it tasted like skin, normal skin. You started moving your tongue and lips. Her chest felt soft, like a small cotton cloud inside your mouth. You still felt a little uncomfortable and strange with what was happening, but when the hand on your cock started to feel that good you had no choice but to give in to your carnal impulses. Now every time she switched from one mound to another inside your mouth you ate it as good as you could, sucking and licking both nipples as if your life depended on it—maybe it did.

"You seem really good at that," you never thought she would moan, but she did, "what else is that mouth good for other than asking questions you don't want to know the answers to?"

Without stopping moving her hand, she sat up and climbed on top of you again. This time she turned her back on you, which she also had uncovered. At that moment the moon came out of the clouds, and illuminated both her "normal" skin and her other skin. One looked beautiful and pale, the other looked smooth and shiny despite being a deep black. Just like those damn things in your nightmare. Her hair looked normal too, a deep brown and with a shine that looked like hair gel, but you couldn't be sure. Anyway, you stopped seeing both her back and her hair, as she leaned back until her unexpectedly beautiful ass was planted against your face.

Her pair of thighs pressed on either side of your head, as you felt them you realized that the closest thing to what that second skin felt like was the tightest latex. But it wasn't latex, there were no seams or edges anywhere, both skins fused together naturally. Of course that wasn't the important thing at the time. Your face was buried between her ass cheeks, and your mouth met a very dangerously delicious pussy.

You were going to put your mouth in motion, but you felt a tingling in your lower abdomen. She had not stopped moving her hand for a single second, she moved it in a frantic and tireless manner. You were about to explode, and just as you were going to release your load—or your darkbloom seed, as she called it—she stopped. Now you could scream and complain, but it was no use being smothered against tender, warm flesh. You couldn't squirm in protest either. It was a desperate feeling.

"Stop complaining and eat, you damn scum, eat!" it could have been a figment of your imagination, but you almost felt her voice distort a little as she said that.

You ate. You ate as well as you could, imagining that she was a normal woman—in a way she was. Passionate kisses, licking, sucking, everything necessary to make her moan more and more, and louder. You wondered if the neighbors would hear any of it through the walls. It was quite late, maybe 3 or 4 in the morning. If so, you were going to get a good scolding later.

In an unexpected act she collapsed forward, and with one hand grabbed your cock to put it in her mouth. You had to make a mental archive, but you were sure it was the best that had ever housed your cock ever. It was a feeling impossible to describe in words, but it made sense for you to attribute it to her simply not being human. She bobbed her head up and down expertly, as if it were the most exciting sport for her. You just ate, tasting the most delicious pussy you had ever felt against your lips.

Her mouth took every inch of your cock without any problem, making it clear that her gag reflex was non-existent. With each pump you felt her nose touch your balls and her chin touch your pubes. You moaned against her pussy, and she moaned even louder. Her thighs pressed on either side of your head tensed, and you felt that if she wanted to, she would have crushed it like a watermelon. She ground her ass against your face, rubbing her extremely wet pussy against your mouth and nose. That didn't make much sense to you, if she wasn't human, how could she secrete fluids?

Your cock vibrated with her moans, and her pussy vibrated with yours. You knew she wasn't going to let you cum unless she did first, so you doubled your efforts. These paid off faster than you expected, as she seemed to orgasm with a ragged, uncontrolled scream that made her pull your cock out of her mouth.

"Oh yes! YES!" Once again, her voice seemed to distort as she screamed and writhed on your face, but you were no longer sure if it was your imagination, "now you let me see that seed!"

She didn't reintroduce your cock into her mouth, but rather she went back to what she was originally doing. She grabbed your cock with both hands, and she started moving them aggressively up and down. Without any care or kindness. It hurt you a little the way she did it, but apparently that point of ecstasy brought her to a state where she didn't care about you—she never did in fact—but about her own pleasure and desires. You didn't mind this at all, you were already too close, and this time it really seemed like your lucky moment.

Her thin hands rubbed your cock up and down so hard and fast that you felt like it was going to catch on fire any second. You let out a loud muffled moan against her pussy, and in the midst of rapid movements of her wrist you came.

"That's it, give it to me!" She grunted as you shot jets of hot cum into the air, and then she squeezed your balls so hard that you screamed in pain, "More, give me more!"

She didn't stop moving one of her hands, nor did she slow down even though you kept shooting cum everywhere. The overstimulation and the grip on your balls continued to bring uncontrolled screams from your throat. Your cock ached, and you didn't think it was possible, but as soon as you stopped cumming, less than five seconds passed until you had another spike of pleasure. More cum shot everywhere, more screams of pain.

"So hot, so thick… so delicious!" This time you confirmed that, indeed, her voice did distort when she felt sexual arousal.

You were starting to feel too much pain, but she stopped right then and got off of you. When you saw her she was all covered in your cum, from her face to her tits and her abdomen. You also noticed that she had eaten some, as it was between her lips. Her dilated eyes seemed to have a glow coming from within, a sparkling white glow.

"Now you're going to give me your seed..." her tone of voice was normal again, but it sounded menacing and malevolent, "you're going to fill me with that magnificent piece of meat, and you're going to make my dark womb awaken."

"I don't want to put anything inside you… just leave me alone," it wasn't unusual to say that you felt drained during sex, but this time you felt literally drained of your vitality. You even felt dizzy.

"YOU DON'T CHOOSE THAT!" she screamed again with her voice distorted, so much that it didn't sound like her. Then she swiped your cheek with her nails, which sharpness you felt piercing your skin. As you felt the liquid run down your cheek you knew you were bleeding, and not a little.

Dread took over you again, and you began to hyperventilate.

She straddled you and then planted both feet on the mattress, adopting a squat form. She then took your still sore cock in one hand and started to stroke it until in some mysterious way it was hard again. She looked into your eyes, and after putting your cock straight, she impaled herself completely on it. She let out a squeak in her throat and threw her head back.

If her mouth felt good, her pussy felt like a transcendental experience for you. It was a mixture of overwhelming sensations, it felt wet, extremely soft, and extremely tight. You felt it throb around your shaft, producing tickling sensations that made you shudder. It would have felt better if it weren't for the fact that your cock felt like it was going to melt and you felt on the verge of throwing up and passing out.

Of course she wouldn't be nice to you at first, she started jumping on your cock with all the strength she had. You felt her ass bump against you so aggressively that you thought she was going to split you open. It felt wonderful, your cock sliding in and out of an unearthly pussy entirely, the non-existent friction making you moan with what little energy you had left. She dug her nails from each hand into your ribs, and you whimpered in pain. She didn't dig those blades deep, but enough to make you bleed there too.

"YES YES YES! IT FEELS DELICIOUS, YES!" she moaned between growls of pleasure, jumping on top of your cock again and again.

Your room was filled with violent sounds of flesh hitting flesh. You would have worried about the neighbors—not just your building, the entire street—but you were in the middle of a situation that you felt was close to literally killing you with pleasure. Her tight pussy wouldn't stop throbbing and working wonders on your cock. You also started to feel that her walls were feeling warmer than normal. Hot, not enough to cause burns, but hotter than a normal pussy could be.

Inevitably that led to you cumming again. You felt pleasure, and a lot. But you also felt pain, proportional to the amount of pleasure. A bittersweet feeling that made you want to cry. You shot much more cum into her, and felt her walls squeeze your shaft with the force of a hydraulic press.

"GIVE IT ALL TO ME, MGHHH!!!" distorted voice. This time she terrified you.

She had another orgasm while you filled her with thick liquid, but that didn't stop her. On the contrary, she looked even more excited. She didn't seem to look overstimulated, yet you were dying of pain.

"Stop it, please! It hurts a lot! STOP!!" you pleaded desperately, your jaw tense as well as your teeth. You closed your eyes, hoping that everything was just another horrible nightmare and that it would be over. This one didn't.

"SHUT UP, YOU PIECE OF SCUM, YOU'RE MINE!!" The distorted and terrifying voice not only echoed in your ears, but also the walls of your room. Just like that night.

In the blink of an eye she turned into a ball of shadow again, and in a matter of milliseconds she was now bouncing on your cock but with her back turned to you. Now you could see her beautiful ass bounce against your pubes and your cock continually appear and disappear between her butt cheeks. She knew it was going to turn you on. The bitch knew it, and that penetrated your bones with anger.

Her nails dug in again, but now in your calves. Same thing, you felt the burning of her tips digging in. You began to feel pleasure and the tingling in your lower abdomen again. You were close, but you also started to feel terribly bad, as if you had caught a sudden fever that made your body ache all over. Your head hurt too, and your eyes felt heavy. You were fainting.

"GIVE ME MORE!!" With that last evil scream from her you came.

The last thing you saw was your cum spilling between her folds and staining all over your cock. This time she did move slower, and the moment she got up from your cock, her second skin began to crawl with a life of its own to cover her entire body in black. Your cum stayed inside that bodysuit, and your vision went black.

The last thing you heard was that damn maniacal laugh.

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Spren Notes:

Well, this is certainly radically different than anything I've written before lol. I hope I did well and didn't embarrass myself.

#oh my girl smut #smut #kpop smut #smut fanfic #x male reader smut #x male smut #horror smut #arin smut #male reader smut #male reader insert

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