#its completely optional. but i included it because i feel like she really does take pride in being part of the academy

[pastasilly]

decided to redesign kate blake’s pirate outfit too!!

[emblemxeno]

This ask is going to be kind of long, but your platform is really the only platform where I feel comfortable having this conversation. You don’t have to post this if you don’t want to, I won’t feel any sort of ways about it, but I’ve got to get this feeling out of my system. The way the fandom treats Fates compared to the other games in the franchise, makes them completely unbearable. I don’t think I can forgive the fandom for it even if they did somehow start giving Fates its overdue credit. Treating its fans like shit for almost a decade is unacceptable. I don’t know how so many people can justify their behavior in regards to this game. The fans of this game have literally done nothing to the fandom other than love it unapologetically, and we still get condescended to about it. You dare offer your opinion about a take in the series and it’s like, “You’re a Corrin fan, you have no right to talk about anything.” I have never seen a group of fans that have to literally HIDE the fact that they cherish a game in order to appease its larger community, it’s so disgusting. I don’t care if I’m being harsh with this ask because I have witnessed and dealt with this condescension for years. I don’t care to spare any feelings at this point, and I think the fandom certainly doesn’t deserve any of our grace either. Calling out the elitism, cliquish behavior, and hypocrisy is the right thing to do no matter how much some people soften/normalize these issues.

Hope you don't mind me posting this anon.

It's certainly an unfortunate situation. While Fates has its problems--I say this as a diehard fan--I agree in that it's in a singular situation where it's just met with derision initially and only given praise in backhanded manners. Think "Fates sucks but it does have great X and Y" and including an obligatory compliment towards Conquest. Which, don't get me wrong, Conquest is fucking amazing in the gameplay department, but half the time I'm just like... all right, I think you're just pretending to like anything of Fates just because you feel obligated to like one of the most acclaimed gameplay centered entries in the series.

There was just the perfect storm of controversy and unmet expectations that people had towards the game: the woefully inaccurate conversion therapy accusations, the romance options, the sales model of having multiple versions, the story not being liked, Corrin not being liked, the cast being seen as tropey, the fanservice hatred, etc. Its reputation from pre-release to nearly a decade after release is just a swamp of negativity.

And, in risk of sounding defensive and deflective, Awakening did most of this first. Awakening used being gay as a constant punchline especially in DLC (but people are reclaiming that now as something to be praised cuz of course), Awakening had problematic romance options (Nowi, any of the children but especially Nah, Donnel, Ricken, and Lissa are still underage, Aversa is technically your sister and she's written in the M!Robin support to tease that aspect, Tharja in her entirety), Awakening's cast was the de facto tropey cast before Fates, its story was criticized for the same things Fates was (poorly explained lore and world, pacing issues, convenient plot devices, pandering to a previous game, and had its exclusive issue of being inconsistent with Archanea's lore), Robin was criticized for being an all loved player insert with too many powers/importance, it started the oddly designed armor designs for fanservice reasons, and while it didn't have multiple versions, it was the first game with a ton of paid DLC.

Don't get me wrong, I love Awakening to pieces. But that game started pretty much everything Fates gets shit for. Yet it gets retrospective love or at the very least a pass cuz... Fates does it worse/more and because it was gonna be the last game in the series? Wouldn't it be fair then, to give slack to Fates for following in the footsteps of the most well received and successful game in the series by replicating it while trying to improve on what some felt were lacking? But I guess at that point, people think it utterly failed in improving on the story and characters so :/

I think you have a point regarding Fates fans as well. We're pretty much the only FE fans that get unironic negative labels, at least by casual aduiences. Apparetnly we're "coomer, porn brain freaks who don't know what good games are." Though, that's about it in terms of the elitism thing, otherwise I think it's just fans of older games being out off by the direction newer games have gone, and most make no distinction and criticize all of Awakening, Fates, 3H, and Engage. Still, Fates fans are the ones getting the most accepted flak.

To end this off, let's be honest: If Fates is the example most people give of the worst game in the series, FE fans have it pretty fucking good lmao.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Honestly? The most striking thing about the sideburns and other continuity errors isn't even how bizarre they are, how numerous or how they mostly seem like easily fixable things. It's Neil's non-answers! Except for the missing fifteen minutes in the Final Fifteen I don't believe he's outright called any of them continuity errors even when that's surely the simplest option. Of course, even odds he's doing it just to wind the fandom up, but that still leaves a fifty percent chance there might be a Reason. Or, if it is specifically to wind us up and make us chase our own tails, you could argue that makes it a red herring. In which case, what Clues are the continuity errors meant to distract us from?

hey anon!!!✨ okay so here's where im just basically going to talk about good omens in general, both seasons, because honestly? im completely with you, and i think that rationale is bang on the money. its the whole reason why i try to look at outside, sometimes blatantly in a different direction, to what the show (ignoring the book for a hot minute) is telling us.

s2 in particular, but i'll include s1 slightly, feels like it really leans into misdirection as a narrative technique - the red herring. as you rightly pointed out, we have the baby swap/three card monte in s1. we have three cowrie shells in s2. we have the goats hidden as crows, where (by my count) you see two, possibly three, flying off in the background behind crowley. we have the three children hidden as lizards (lots of threes which is interesting but not my Point rn). the bullet catch. aziraphale distracting furfur with the envelope whilst he hides the photograph up his sleeve. probably others that ive forgotten.

so, suffice to say, it's a fairly major part of the story, and this is where i come to my point; in my opinion, tricks are being played on us as the audience, and we ourselves are being led by misdirection. now, im sure some of these may turn out to be true, but the below are a couple of examples of things from s2 specifically that have been spoonfed to us, and therefore - i think - are not 100%, if at all, true:

crowley was a high-ranking angel/archangel

maggie is a demon because she misspelt 'urgency'

the book of life is a book, and has the ability to erase existence

the 25-lazarii miracle was successful in hiding gabriel, or was as powerful as it was because aziraphale and crowley did it together simultaneously.

i've talked about all of them in various tags, so i won't go over them, but i think we need to consider that what we've been taking as read needs further evaluation. that's not to say that one or multiple could in fact be the truth - there is, after all, the actual money card in three card monte - but im hesitant to put a guess on which one is the case.

but this does kinda come back to the batshit time travel theory - does the magic trick extend that far? or, at the very least, what is the trick being played by the varying hair length/sideburns/glasses change, if we accept that they're not factors external to the narrative? if they're deliberate, in-story choices, what is it telling us? there's the speculation that the flashbacks in s2 are skewed because they're all told from aziraphale's perspective - is possibly the case for the entire season? does that explain the colour grading?

personally, i think we're seeing more red herrings than we realise!!!✨

[theprinceandthewitch]

Honestly, Season 3 really does feel like the entire thing is fanservice

Thanks to Them was obviously the Lunter episode where they pretty much confirm Luz is the "Evelyn" to Hunter's "Caleb". Huntlow is non existent in this episode, which makes no fucking sense given what happens in the next one. They legit just wanted this episode to be Lunter propaganda from beginning to end. And they write TTT in a way where Hunter can be seen as a homewrecker from Amity's POV. Which will never NOT be hilarious to me, regardless if this was intentional or not. We get Flapjack letting Luz use him. We get Luz telling Hunter to basically come back to her while she's straight up hugging him. Luz is also the only one having trouble fighting Hunter while everyone else is wailing on him [Willow is once again painted in a bad light]. Philip name drops Evelyn and Caleb while speaking to Luz and Hunter specifically. Flapjack also flies to Luz when hes on his death bed and not Willow. Hunter's words are what finally get Luz to stop beating herself up over helping Philip and not Luzs literal girlfriend, who stands awkwardly in the background while Hunter gives his speech to Luz.

Then FTF is the Huntlow episode. Hunter acts OOC by not being concerned over Luz taking awhile to come out of the portal, which makes no sense since he literally told her at the end of the last episode to help him fight back against Philip. Its also OOC for Hunter not to be concerned for Luz when she made it pretty clear he was part of her found family with the Hexside gang. It's also weird for Hunter not to be concerned for a person he was literally prepared to die for in the previous episode AND for a person he clearly loves and puts alot of trust in. Luz also acts OOC by not asking Hunter if he's okay after literally dying and coming back to life before her eyes. Luz is also still feeling guilty over helping Philip despite everyone not giving a shit in TTT. The reason why Hunter and Luz do not talk even though they really should is because this is the Huntlow episode. Hunter needs to have A Moment with Willow, so Luz and Hunter need to act like they're complete strangers despite Everything That Happened in the previous episode.

Hunter gets a forced moment with Willow even though literally any other character, including Amity, would have been a better option to comfort Willow. And for some reason Hunter has to comfort Willow despite the latter showing him a picture of his dead friend. Again, This is the Huntlow episode, so they need to come up with a reason for Hunter and Willow to have a moment even if it paints Willow in a bad light. Speaking of painting Willow in a bad light, they made Willow look extremely shallow for only showing interest in Hunter after he develops an internal magic source. Going back to TTT: there is literally no reason for them not to make Huntlow canon in this episode. They could have done it in the montage or put a photo of them as a couple in Willow's photobook. And they could have given all of Luz's scenes with Hunter to Willow but they dont. Willow also shows no romantic interest in Hunter during TTT. So Willow only showing interest in Hunter AFTER he develops an internal magic source makes Willow look really, really bad. Especially once you factor in that Hunter's powers come from Flapjack - who had to die in order for Hunter to receive his magic.

Flapjack literally died for a forced Huntlow moment, maybe you can forgive this sin but I never will.

As for Watching and Dreaming... so this episode was the most boring one out of all three of them for me. My eyes literally glazed over up until I saw Luz and Hunter in the timeskip part of the episode. But Amity somehow having autonomy while she's still a doll is Lumity fanservice, because Amity needed to remove the doll spell so she could kiss Luz later. First of all, Amity shouldnt be able to move as a doll. None of the other characters can move as dolls but she can for some reason. Not only can she move, she also somehow knew a light glyph would free herself and everyone else from the doll spell. I guess she was able to read the script while in doll form. This bit of writing also makes King, Eda and Lilith look like complete idiots for not using the light glyph to free people from the doll magic.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

Oooh that's an interesting premise for requests! :] May I perhaps suggest then... Uh honestly kinda feeling Terry/Nicky for this one! Also ehshsjskkwjwke maybe Jodie/Ron??????

silly little fan kid prompts

in a wildly out of character moment for me, i COMPLETELY skimmed over the rodie part of this ask fdhjgbdhb so i will ! do that next and @ you in it! BUT hey. hey. shakes a terrick kid at you

this is cameron, my new baby girl sweet daughter cameron. i like to headcanon that samantha always did terry's hair when he was young, so it was cute to me to imagine that terry would do the same to her :] and of course, nicky has to introduce cameron to all the sick ass movies that glenn showed him, including the ever famous predator handshake.

both the stamplers and the close-foster-etc families have very specific like. through-lines in their families which make this combo interesting for a fan kid? im gonna put my further notes under a cut along with some etc rambling because this is just. exciting to me. i usually make fan kids with a story already in mind, but this exercise is kind of the opposite where i have to figure out the story as i go, and thats really fun to me :D

mild spoilers for the newer episodes of season 2, but i decided to uh. Pay Attention To Biology here since terry jr was revealed to be infertile, and i think thats interesting, so cameron is adopted!! this obviously left my options pretty open, but i decided to still stick with a mixed kid, Black/Chinese, since 1. feels kinda against the point of a fan kid if i just did a random design lol and 2. considering nicky's odd genealogy as well as his severe issues with wanting his dad(s) to be proud of him and the way hes so lopsidedly attached to his family, i figured he would be the type of guy to want his adopted kid to look like him. i dont think terry would care, but he would want nicky to be happy, so it all works out in that regard ! i went back and forth a bit on if i wanted her to have freckles, i thought it could be a cute tie back to jodie, but decided against it.

she does follow the Ron -> Terry -> Ron -> Terry naming scheme, originally i was gonna go for a terry name but i figured a ron one would make more sense lol so her name is cameron! i think she would take a lot of fashion inspiration from her parents, ive always seen them as both very. emo/alternative. terry less so as he grows older, but nicky definitely clings to it, and i think that would rub off on cameron. shes not as dark and edgy as they are - i think she would be a pretty bright and bubbly kid, actually - but i kinda like the idea of her being lowkey scene/scemo. yes im biased because thats one of my favorite sub-cultures, but its CUTE. i didnt really feel like doing full outfit sketches but just know that if i did. she would be scene. and like both of her dads as teens (and nicky still into adulthood), she does dye her hair pretty heavily hehe

the only real unfortunate thing about fan kids for a series thats like. already very heavy with canon kids. is that it kind of leaves everything in a weird place where its like... do cassandra and taylor exist in this? do veronica and scary? and uhhh i dunno ghbfjdgdfhjh up to interpretation, i suppose. its easy enough to just have cassandra and nicky be divorced, but the veronica/terry of it all is murkier ... food for thought, i guess. scary would fuckin hate cameron though i think they would argue LMAO

[herwrittenuniverse]

Thoughts on Rayllum Post S4

Last week, I posted a chapter of my story Lunation and got some pretty divisive comments. It got my wheels turning and before I knew it, my fingers were flying, and I ended up writing something small an essay on Rayla and Callum's communication at this point in their journey.

I'm going to put it below because I feel like people may disagree (which, by all means, you are free to do so and keep scrolling without reading). Click below to read more.

Are you sure you want to read?

There's still time to turn around!

Alright then!

Also, please feel free to sound off in the comments or reblogging.

Edit: Adding this one because I feel like this blog is making its rounds and it needs to be said. Let me make this 100000% clear that this post is not to blindly defend Rayla in any way. Her actions (lying/leaving) in TTM were awful (and I talk more about that below). However, this post is a reaction to some comments on my story - comments that made me realize that there are those in the fandom that believe her actions are (especially to Callum) unforgivable - that no matter what Rayla does, says, or thinks in future seasons, she will forever be at fault for leaving, and doesn't deserve to reconcile with Callum.

Original Post:

I didn’t realize how much of the TDP Community takes serious fault in (ahem, hates) post-TTM Rayla. Last week, I posted a chapter of Lunation (a fanfiction/character study of what would happen if Rayla and Callum actually talked post S4) where Rayla and Callum try to talk about things. In my story, Rayla realized how much she truly hurt Callum, and while she attempts to explain herself, she ultimately apologizes, realizing her actions hurt Callum more than she could ever imagine. Callum, who is still blinded by anger and repressing a lot of his feelings, lashes out at her. It makes them both explode and nothing is settled between them (until later chapters - but that’s a different post).

Obviously, I am just a fan, and I am using this work as a creative release. But I take pride in proper characterizations - I want to be sure each party member is behaving like they would in the show. And, on top of it all, I am spending my free time putting genuine love and devotion into something purely because I enjoy it.

But many of the responses on the chapter really left me scratching my head, and quite frankly, made me…sad. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that is not the issue - I understand you can’t please everyone. I was genuinely upset because people seem completely ignorant of the absolute trauma Rayla has been through. Readers called me biased towards Rayla (with no sympathy towards Callum), called Rayla toxic, said they want Rayla to "truly regret her decision and actually apologize," calling my interpreted apology disingenuous because I used her family dynamic as one reason why she would leave to protect Callum (and honestly, likely also because she didn't grovel at Callum's feet). 

I am not saying what Rayla did in TTM was right - actually, I think the opposite. Rayla’s response was definitely not healthy, and it wasn’t correct, and there were more plausible options. Yet having been through trauma myself, I understand Rayla’s actions. When TTM begins, we see how Viren has taken away literally everyone Rayla has loved - every parent she’s ever had,  including (in a way) Ethari, who is not dead but is forbidden to see his foster daughter due to the fact that she is a Ghost. 

Rayla left to protect literally the last thing that she loves in life - Callum, and probably Ezran too (but remember, she saw Callum encased in ice along with her parents and Runaan in TTM). Through Seasons 1 - 3, Rayla is self-sacrificing, rash, and guilty - her choice to leave, while not right by any means, aligns with her character that we have all seen through Seasons 1-3. 

Again, was her decision right? Nope. Was it correct? Absolutely not. But those were Rayla’s actions, and at the time, she felt it was right and justified, which again fits into her character. In S4, we see Rayla come back empty-handed, and frankly, that shows growth. She realizes that her attempt was fruitless, and hence returns. It sure looks shitty to Callum because she has nothing to account for - and at the beginning of S4, he seems justifiably hurt, angry, yet still hung up on Rayla. So yes, Rayla’s return is incredibly hurtful to Callum - but let’s not forget that it was likely also hard on Rayla. She is both a prideful and honorable creature, so returning to Katolis empty-handed had to be one of the hardest things for her to do, especially with nothing to account for. No one likes to admit they’re wrong, especially about something as big of a decision as that. That is not to take away from Callum’s pain - it is just as hard and traumatic for Callum. But I think members of the TDP Community are forgetting that it’s hard on Rayla too. 

And Callum’s ire is understandable. However, my interpretation from S4 (and from his short story 'Inheritance') was that for two years, he stuffed down all his feelings and made everyone around him miserable. At this point, those around Callum have been dealing with him wallowing for two years - and now, the love of his life is here, in front of him, and he is still choosing not to address anything with Rayla. He is withdrawn, and has been for the past two years. Rayla's return is essentially forcing him to finally process what has happened. That’s why I decided to explore Lunation. S4 gave us no resolution with Rayllum, and it had the gears in my brain going. 

Some people are also saying that Ezran and Soren should be loyal to Callum because they know him the longest, and that they should be more angry with Rayla (both in the show and in Lunation). Yet I see Soren and Ezran as mediators, both in the show and throughout my story. Yes, they’ve seen their friend/brother desperate for nearly two years because of Rayla (which I’m sure gets tiring in itself). Now Rayla is back, but Callum is not taking any means to move communication forward. This is plainly addressed when Ezran and Callum speak in the Drakewood (“Lots of things are hard, like magic. But you figured that one out.”) and when Rayla and Soren speak on their ‘adventure’ (“When you left, you hurt him - real bad.”). It is natural that Ezran and Soren are not going to have the same bitter response to Rayla that Callum had because A. Their love/relationship with Rayla is different, and they have likely already processed what has happened. B. It is not in their nature to be inherently angry or bitter (Ezran, especially). C. I would like to think that, at this point, they want to see Callum happy. I am sure they were angry and mourning Rayla in their own way, but Callum would be the most affected by Rayla’s departure. 

Let’s also not forget…that Jack DeSena (when being interviewed about S4) himself said that Callum repressed his feelings during the two year absence, and dove into magic. 

And again - in case you didn’t read the first or second time I said it - Callum has every right to be angry. But remember, these are conflicting emotions that Callum is suppressing. He loves Rayla deeply, but is also angry and hurt. Still yet, he hasn’t talked about it or addressed it, even at the end of S4. A person who is withholding all these feelings is going to act angry, bitter, moody, and likely lash out - we saw evidence of all of this in S4. 

But…those of you who are anti-Rayla seem to miss the fact that Callum is still in love with her. He never stopped loving her - not ever in these two years. But he still has these repressed, unspoken emotions that are going to burst through, and that is what I wanted to explore in Lunation.

I deliberately made their conversation drawn out and slow, starting right from Through the Surface (my fanfic that takes place before Lunation). They’ve been slowly getting there, bit by bit…because if you’ve ever tried to repair a relationship (especially one where both parties are hurt), it takes time. That’s one reason why I liked S4, as Rayllum wasn’t addressed at all. Why would it? While it was disappointing to Rayllum fans, it was a perfectly normal response. It is not realistic for a couple to just pick back up after two years and pretend like nothing happened. 

And ultimately, that is the point of Lunation - to show that relationships are messy, are not linear by any means, and that in order to make it work, there needs to be communication, and communication is freaking hard. 

As a bonus, for those of you insisting “But Rayla hurt Callum! Rayla doesn’t deserve to go back with Callum! How can you ever go back to someone who has hurt you?” To you, I say this: it is painfully obvious that you have not had any complex relationships, life experiences, or the ability to empathize. It seems like you’ve never had someone you hurt (or they hurt you) terribly , only for the love to remain ever present. Truly, it must be nice to live on a plane of reality where things are so black and white. But in my reality, life is not black and white. Life is messy, and love is the messiest thing of them all. 

And, on top of it all, these are fictional characters that do not exist, and I (along with several other creators) am writing fanfiction out of free will and my love for the show. I don’t get anything out of this process (including writing this rant/blog post). So if a person doesn’t like my interpretation of these characters and this story, that’s cool - but you can say your opinion kindly and without aggression, or simply close out the tab and decide not to read. 

And hell, write your own damn story if mine makes you so angry.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Feel free to sound off in the comments.

[poppletonink]

Radio Silence Review

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"I wonder – if nobody is listening to my voice, am I making any sound at all?"

Frances Janvier studies. She studies a lot. Because soon enough, Frances will be applying to Oxford, and she knows that good grades will get her in. So, Frances Janvier studies, and she doesn't let anyone get in her way, because she has to go to university. Frances Janvier also happens to be incredibly boring, or so her friends probably think, because all she does is wear plain clothes and complete school work. Then, Frances meets Aled, and for once in her life she feels free to be herself. But Aled is Carys' brother, and Carys is the girl who vanished, and though she’ll never admit it, Frances may just know the reason she disappeared. With new friends, secrets that are tearing her apart, and her future on the line, what happens when her platonic soulmate and the passions she never knew she had take her down a path she never even considered an option?

First of all, I need to make it abundantly clear that the message of this book is so important. It holds the idea that school and grades are not all that makes a person. It teaches that you can make it on your own, and that school isn't for everyone. Most of all, it reminds the reader that life doesn't always go the way you want it to or expect it to. For those reasons, and so many more, I feel that it's vital for people to read this book.

As always with Alice Oseman's books, I was instantly attached to the characters. I found comfort in the wonderfully weird ways of Frances and Aled. I felt the need to protect Raine at all costs, and wanted to give Daniel the hug he clearly needs on more than one occasion. I got so absorbed in the lives of these characters, that at numerous points I wanted to throw the book across the room just because Aled's mother was mentioned. If you are, like me, a character driven reader, I must advise going to your local library or purchasing this book anywhere that you can - I guarantee you will love it. Alongside the characters as individuals are the relationships that intertwine them. It’s safe to say, the character relationships are the main drive of the plot, with Frances and Aled’s friendship being the heart of the novel, and even Aled and his mothers’ relationship displaying the toxic attitudes some parents impose upon their children.

The main theme explored throughout the book is the idea of identity. Radio Silence explores the fear of letting our truest selves be seen, of being viewed as weird for the things we’re interested in, and implores the reader to express themselves however they want to (it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks).

Alongside the theme of identity, Alice explores the idea of freedom to choose. Society often sets us up for the idea that academia is the one route we can take in life - you go to school, then college or sixth form and then university. Radio Silence discusses how this is not the only option - especially for those of us who are in the arts - and that, even if society tells you otherwise, school isn’t for everyone. It’s explored in many ways, whether its through Frances and Aled’s storylines or Raine’s or Carys’. There’s even the podcast ‘Universe City’, which presents an anti-capitalist, anti-school-system attitude, that readers can listen to exerpts of as they read (the podcast episodes included throughout the novel are available to listen to on Alice Oseman’s Youtube Channel).

Overall, Radio Silence is an amazing book - a book that should be required reading for everyone across the globe. It teaches teenagers, and adults alike, important messages (messages we all could do with be reminded of once in a while). The characters are phenomenal. The writing is easy, yet impactful. I’d definitely recommend giving it a read, especially to those of you who feel like outcasts or are misplaced in the school system. 

[sorcerous-caress]

Don’t worry, I went to sleep and I’m at university and a whole adult so you aren’t corrupting the youth or anything.

Jubilee is a gold dragon sorcerer, and I have a hell of a lot of thoughts surrounding that she jokes that she’s biologically obligated to worship Bahmut but maintains that Justice really isn’t her thing. Her companions usually tease her about this because she’s generally such a goody two shoes but she maintains that compassion and justice are extremely different and compassion is the superior option by a lot.

I also think most draconic sorcerers have keener than normal senses with her large ears Jubilee is practically a radar dish and her sense of smell is on point. It’s very useful and actually is great because most illusions don’t account for smells so she’s quite good at sniffing them out. Unfortunately these overly keen senses can lead to some pretty severe sensory overload and she has to bury her face in someone’s shoulder and try too block everything out, I like to imagine Karlach bought her earmuffs at one point trying too help but Jubilee’s floppy rabbit ears are too big for them.

I also think that if Jubilee uses too much magic (aka runs out of spell slots) feral dragon brain takes over. She still retains her personality as a sweetheart so the worst she ever really does is hiss at someone and lay on Karlach like she's a warm rock but it's absolutely hilarious to watch their normal overly chatty and charismatic leader just go creature for a few hours. Jaheria and Halsien will wild shape to join her so it's bonding time.

The best and most practiced draconic sorceress in the lore of D&D can sometimes ascend to become actual dragons Jubilee has no real interest in this however Lae’del found out and is constantly badgering Jubilee to do it and be her Dragon mount. She maintains that since Astarion didn’t get to ascend it is only fair that she doesn’t either.

She says “my friends are my horde” like it's a joke, it is not she loves them, treasures them and guards them as fiercely as any Dragon would protect its horde. Other thing in her hordes included various insects (because she thinks they are neat little guys) and recipes (because she is a baker and cooking for people is her love language.)

I can not stress how much Jubilee adores each and every one of her companions because she does to pieces, even astarion (he is lucky Jubilee has more love in her heart than I do)

She seems so lovable, She is really keen on showering all the companions with all the love they never got, which honestly yeah. Love is the best medicine especially after traumatic events.

Halsin, Jaheira, and Karlach would probably adore her creature mode. First two because they can relate and Karlach because she thinks it's absolutely adorable.

She seems like the kind of person who is immune to being teased or bullied because she is so sincere and pure hearted that the offender just feels bad or backs off. Like if someone was mean to her, she'd disregard it and ask if they're okay or need help, completely taking people by surprise and making them feel ashamed of their actions.

Maybe she can be a sister or a friend figure to Asterion, god knows he needs platonic love so desperately. He is akin to a wet cat in a basket with a soggy cardboard cutout saying "adopt me" above it.

She does seem very selfless to a self sabotaging degree, Minthara would try to half a talk with her about it maybe. Halsin might encourage it or make it worse because he is like that too.

And the companions as her hoard thing, yeah, I relate to it! My sorcerer did the same thing, except it just resulted in them being more controlling, possessive, and protective.

I don't care what Mystra says Gale, you belong here.

Shadowheart sit your ass back down, I'm talking to Viconia when we get down there.

Vlaakith can suck my massive cock, Laezel, the gith hunters can claw you out of my cold dead hands.

Also, the second they unlocked level 11, they just flew everywhere. Even places that are walking distance, they just kept flying on buildings and forgetting their companions back down.

I made them carry my 100,000 gold worth gem pouch because it got too heavy, it was a privilege to the most favourite of the day tho.

Mostly Halsin, no one else really had the inventory space tbh. The dead clown body parts couldn't carry itself.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I’m not feeling 100% so plz bear with me if this is shorter than usual. I’ll probably add on later

Also hope ur doing better from last time we talked❤️❤️❤️❤️

So I’ve read a few books on developmental trauma and we talk about it in class sometimes and we talk about the hyper-/hypo-arousal that they go through and the issues with emotional regulation and how easy it is to throw them off their axis, and I feel like you’ve portrayed that very well in this story.

Like the way that she’s either at stress level 10000% or completely shut down and there’s very little in between. Or how the it’s very unstable- every little thing throws her off her axis.

And of course the anxiety and paranoia of everything going wrong at any given moment. It’s this thing with people who’ve faced child abuse that they learn to always be on guard because they never knew what was going to set off their parents, so they’ve learned to overanalyze every little thing and we see that a lot with clover.

We also see some negative distortions, or “bad thinking habits”, such as spiraling/catastrophizing, black and white thinking, etc. which I think that you’ve written very well.

Idk I think I’m just really in love with the way that you’ve portrayed the trauma and its long term effects on her, how difficult it is to get over that, how it permeates every part of her life, the coping mechanisms that were really necessary for her survival, etc.

There’s actually a lot of brain studies on what’s called toxic stress- I’ve probably brought this up before- and how it completely rewires your brain, but I don’t think the data can properly convey the emotion of it like you have with this story.

I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the feeling that clover was describing about shutting down her emotions and everything was actually related to not only hypoarousal and repression but also some dissociation. The brain has trouble dealing with chronic stress like that, and dissociation (which includes depersonalization and derealization) is actually a response to prolonged high amounts of stress.

The hypoarousal is actually more common in situations in which the situation feels inescapable, which is common in children. Many people overlook it because they assume that all anxiety manifests itself as panic attacks, but when it comes to kids hypoarousal is very common.

It’s the whole ‘fight or flight’ idea, which pretty much all researchers agree should be ‘flight, fight, and freeze’ in terms of survival mechanisms (including against trauma). If you’re confronted with something like a bear, your first option/thought is almost always to flee the situation (same for pretty much all living creatures with “basic instincts”), then if you cannot flee then fight, and if you cannot do that, then to freeze. Freezing is a last resort because you cannot do the other two options. It’s a last resort, sort of helplessness like playing dead.

(humans are unique in that we can overcome our fight/flight/freeze response thanks to executive functioning, but that is impaired in children with trauma. This isn’t really relevant, but I always thought it was interesting. It does however take a lot of work to do so; it’s difficult to rewire your brain, esp as an adult, so how your brain gets wired as a child does have a huge impact on you, which is what we see with clover)

Okay sorry as you know when I get started talking about developmental trauma I can’t shut up. Onto other stuff:

Josie putting Anthony in his place: fuck yeah you go girl

Clover calling out Anthony about Charlie: fuck yeah you go girl

(aka fuck Anthony he’s been an oblivious ass so far and he needs to redeem himself)

Teddy is going to have three homes with three times the toys in the span of like a month lmao good for him

Clover’s aunt and uncle looking out for her 😭😭😭 also ben and Charlie and Josie and Bess and Andrew and teddy and everyone else doing the same🥺 she is so loved and she doesn’t even realize it💔💔

Man clover keeps passing out. First in her garden and now this lololololol

I’m so worried that when her parents show up, they’re going to reveal her trauma to everyone in the ton, or at least the bridgertons. That’s so horrible and retraumatizing to clover and I’m worried that even if she starts accepting her feelings and healing that she’ll be too fragile…………………

Okay going back and speaking of clover not eating and passing out, I haven’t eaten today and it’s 3 pm so I should go do that Lmfao. I just love talking to you so much that I always forget/put it off on saturdays (it’s not ur fault btw I woke up at like 2 LMFAO fuck spring forward)

Okay love u lots. hope ur well❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

OMG CMA DARLING! 🥰

I hope everything is alright! Are you okay??❤️

Aw I'm so happy to hear that I could portray it well❤️ I think especially when it comes to spiraling and anxiety, we will see just how it can affect Clover in the following chapters❤️ She never acknowledged her trauma or even talked about it with Benedict or anyone really, so she thinks repressing it will make it easier for her to handle it but it won't at all❤️

There’s actually a lot of brain studies on what’s called toxic stress- I’ve probably brought this up before- and how it completely rewires your brain, but I don’t think the data can properly convey the emotion of it like you have with this story. Excuse me while I cry, this is such a wonderful compliment darling! 😱🥰❤️ Aaaaaaa I'm so glad to hear this! ❤️

I agree with you on the dissociation thing and we will see an example of it very soon! Clover is very used to adapting like...zero emotions expression when she's scared and Benedict will witness it soon❤️

Wait I didn't know that, I thought everyone had like...either fight or flight or freeze response depending on person not that it was like a gradual reaction of the sort! 😱 That's very interesting!❤️

I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT THIS SO MUCH! ❤️❤️

Loll Anthony made a huge mistake, talking down on Clover in front of her feral overprotective big sister ❤️

Teddy will have such a happy childhood! ❤️

Oh when her parents shows up... That will cause so much angst, I already have some scenes in mind for it and you will absolutely love it 😏

OMG GO EAT SOMETHING RIGHT NOW 😱❤️

Honeeeey thank you so much for this! ❤️❤️ ILYSM, I hope you feel better soon! ❤️❤️❤️

[brightgnosis]

Kind of already slightly annoyed with my BGB Committee President, even though initially I was feeling valued for my opinion and experience; it doesn't feel like it really lasted that long, unfortunately.

At the last meeting we were digging out this one bed and it was just ... Completely overrun with Chocolate Mint throughout its entirety- and we were literally digging down nearly a foot and still finding solid roots that were putting off fresh sprouts. It was horrible (this is why you don't plant Mint inground).

We could still plant that bed this year, but it ultimately the Mint really needs to be dealt with; there's no real way to keep it in check appropriately at this level, without doing significant damage to anything we plant in there. And since that's the bed we'd planned to put Rosemary and Lavender in this year after the first meeting, there's a few additional things we need to do to make it suitable, that would make controlling (or, preferably, eradicating) the Mint even harder for us.

So I suggested taking the year to leave it fallow, and Solarizing the bed- which is a last resort "nuke everything" option that will kill everything in it, including the majority of Mint. Typically I wouldn't recommend it, but with as far gone as the bed is, and the fact none of the beds in this section have been appropriately maintained for nearly 3 years now, and they were all planted with invasive European Herbs? It's worth it to me. And we can even use it as an educational opportunity for people who visit the Botanical Garden.

After the meeting I sent her the fact sheet on Solarization like I said I would. And I got her a link to the proper clear Polyethylene Plastic we'd need, at the appropriate recommended thickness; it's definitely overkill for the bed, at 100 ft. But it's the smallest roll they have, and always nice to have backup in case the first-down rips or gets pulled up (etc). And what we don't use by the end of the season, we can donate to the City Parks and Recs department or something. But I found an affordable option at just $50.

She wants to buy a white 12 x 12 tarp for $23 instead, and just chuck that over it, like that's going to work 🤦‍♀️ I have to wonder if she bothered reading the fact sheet at all, which clearly outlines exactly why you need the product I linked her.

I suggested we maybe wait, in that case, and talk to our OSU Extension Oversight at the next meeting about alternatives we could use --- or my potentially contacting an organization I know about that explicitly does Yard Removal and Native Replacement (which is a similar but lengthier process) and see if they have any small scale tips or suggestions. We'll see if she agrees to either of those ideas.

If not, though, and she insists on going the white tarp route anyways for whatever reason she has ... Then I really don't know how to explain to her that she's just wasting our already limited funding on quite literally halfassing something that should be done properly or not at all. Because if you're not going to Solarize and area correctly, then what's the point? You're not going to kill what you intend to kill- in which case, we might as well just go ahead and plant the bed and let the Mint do whatever in Antarctica it wants.

[dr-drea]

Most Important Scenes - Kieu My Vu

Part 4 of my essays on favorite scenes for each character.

But you are good.

I would be lying if I said I was a Kieu My fan for the first half of the season. Because I didn't get her. All she was doing for the first 4 episodes, was sending Fatou the most mixed signals, from awkwardly flirting with her, to kissing her, to completely ignoring her and then making fun of her in front of her friends. I was completely on Fatous side when she told Kieu My how fake she was, because what else is she supposed to think?

And then it took exactly ONE scene to completely change my mind about her.

Here, she is telling Fatou about the amount of pressure she is under, being aware that she always lets people down and that she will never be good enough. After being this idealized crush of Fatou in season 5, and a confusing mess for the beginning of season 6, our mysterious 'Ice Queen' becomes a very vulnerable character all of a sudden.

And Fatou, who was actually supposed to have the role of the 'Ice Queen' here, simply cannot take this anymore. "But you are good" she says, which isn't a big compliment or love confession or anything, but for Kieu My it is exactly what she needed to hear in that situation. Kieu My looks up at her for the first time, and what a look it is! In her eyes no longer shame or sadness, but hope. She might be hoping that Fatou maybe isn't as mad as she seems, that she didn't screw it all up with her, that maybe, she found a person to be good enough for. Whatever it is, just these four little words are enough for her to have the courage to take Fatous hand.

And with that, all my doubts about Kieu My have vanished. Kieu My? Fake??! Said Who??? Fatou, please stop pretending to be the Ice Queen here, can you two just kiss already and be happy little sapphics? Thanks.

There is the thing about being bi, for example.

I'm not going to give you a lecture about the need of good bi-representation in media here, but bi-erasure sadly is still an issue, and that is exactly why I loved seeing Kieu My talk about being bi.

Because there is something unique to the struggles of being bisexual (I'm going to write about bisexualism here because Kieu My is bi, but the same is true for being pansexual). Some bisexual people feel being 'in between' the queer community and being straight, for example. Some never come out at all, because 'being straight is the safer option'. And the issue Kieu My is talking about here is the feeling of 'having to settle for one side' as soon as she enters a relationship. Which is an actual issue for some bisexuals, probably reinforced by questions like "Are you straight/gay now?" (which... no. Bisexuals are bisexuals.)

Again, I really love that Druck, between telling Fatou's story with all its up and downs, takes the time for adding these little nuances to the characters and their struggles, and with that educates its audience about issues which are not really talked about.

You are honest, confident, super funny and fucking brave.

I really wanted to include this one, because not only is this the scene where Kieutou becomes official and we see how much effort Kieu My is willing to put in for Fatou (Climbing a roof??!), but it is also the first instance in which Kieu My is telling Fatou what she likes about her. We know that she is struggling with expressing her feelings at times, but hearing her speak here, it feels so natural. She is without doubts in telling Fatou what she likes about her, neither does she hesitate to ask her to be her girlfriend.

But with you... it's different somehow.

And another scene where Kieu My is talking about her feelings, this time about her past experiences with love. With this, Druck creates a connection to the Kieu My we got to know in season 5 (rather cold, superficial, distanced), and explains why she was behaving this way (being scared of getting objectified/rejected).

And AGAIN, Druck is adressing an important issue here: fetishization. An issue which often gets ignored in media, but is super important to adress, as it is just another form of racism. And I think this is so well done, because how this topic is brought up is not forced or out of place. It is just another nuance of Kieu My's feeling of being reduced to her looks (just how the bi struggles fit into Kieu My's other issues of feeling pressured).

To end this on a more positive note, I think 'with you it is different' does not only show how hopeful and in love Kieu My is in this moment, but is also a really, really beautiful compliment.

Because then I see you. And how much love there is inside of you.

This is Nhungis favorite scene, and I can totally see why.

Fatou apologizes to Kieu My and tells her what she likes about her. She proves to her that she sees her, also the hidden parts.

What I love about this, is that Kieu My also lets herself "be seen" by Fatou, because she is crying, unafraid of showing her emotions this time. Wiping away someone's tears is such an intimate gesture, and it is also pretty symbolic for what is happening in this scene. Fatou is apologizing for having hurt Kieu My, and, with her comforting words, taking away the pain she caused, making Kieu My smile again.

I love you.

In the beginning of the season, Kieu My comes across as cold and superficial. We learn that she is confused, scared and under a lot of pressure. We follow her and Fatou on this 10 week journey of figuring each other out, learning how to communicate about issues and how to deal with conflicts. Kieu My learns how to open up and that this isn't a bad thing. This is her journey. She starts the season as being an "Ice Queen", and ends it with being the first one to say "I love you".

And, more importantly, after Fatou is not saying anything at first, she doesn't take it back. She doesn't run away this time, but continues to show affection for her (giving her the turtle). What a character development!

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/13/2022: NOCEBO (2022)

First things first: Right now, IMDB and Wikipedia are listing only director Lorcan Finnegan's creative partner Garret Shanley as the writer of NOCEBO. In reality, the Irish co-production is also written by Ara Chawdury, a Filipino woman who largely referenced her lifetime of research into her own family for this folk horror story involving her ancestors' religious practices. The movie is brand new, of course, so hopefully all the usual online resources will catch up soon enough.

The film itself is a curiosity, not because of its ethnographic content, but because the story is deadly serious, but the execution skews pretty campy. This review is really spoilery, but I think many viewers will cotton to what's going on right away: Eva Green plays a children's fashion designer who becomes abjectly, undiagnosably ill after an unspecified personal catastrophe. She blames her frequent memory lapses when Chai Fonacier surprises her on her doorstep, insisting that she has been hired to help out around the house. The young Filipino woman soon reveals that she is a kind of witch with the power to cure or destroy a person, and her desperate employer blithely assumes that she'll stick to the former option. Though Fonacier's true motivations are revealed slowly throughout the movie, it becomes obvious quickly that Eva Green's clothing is produced in a sweatshop where a devastating tragedy took place, and the young witch is here to enact her revenge.

The ending credits include a line that says "JUSTICE FOR KENTEX WORKERS," referring to a notorious 2015 factory fire that killed 74 people in Manila. NOCEBO is laced through with genuine angst about the perilous state of affairs for invisible brown labor, as Ara Chawdury noted in her introduction to the film at the opening night of the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival. Chawdury also acknowledged the risk she felt as a writer in vilifying poor Filipino workers, but all things considered, it's hard not to see Chai Fonacier's character as the hero, at least by the end of the film. She is a magnetic performer whose emotional performance does a lot of heavy lifting for what is a fairly simple tale of revenge.

But, at the same time that Fonacier is delivering an appropriate sense of real-world horror, NOCEBO has sort of a campy sensibility that I thought they might have pushed a little further still. The key image of the film is a zombie-like hound who deploys a whirlwind of large, pulsing ticks that trigger Eva Green's illness, and she has increasingly elaborate hallucinations about these insects that are frankly delightful, especially when they turn up at a fashion shoot and cover the dancing child models (who are "urban, ethnic, Southeast Asian!"), leaving behind infectious lesions. It's possible that this wasn't meant to be as much fun as I actually found it, but I'd like to think the filmmakers wouldn't begrudge me my good time. I also enjoyed the fact that they cast english rose Eva Green, and they just have her look completely wrung out for almost the entire movie—clammy, balding, and generally beat to shit. I appreciate the feeling of righteous vengeance that drives the plot about labor exploitation, but I also like it when movies take a little revenge on attractive people. NOCEBO just might have a little something for everyone.

[so-much-nonsense]

an episode

today started out in one the worst ways possible. my sleep was disturbed. forcing me to go somewhere i have zero interest in. something binding me to staying there so that i couldnt leave in bw. feels like hell. i watched a movie, and it felt like the whole world judged me for it. all the conversations include my dad and i am gonna throw up all over if they dont stop. i am everywhere i am happily only if i do not hear about him. listening to anything that includes him makes me sick. and seems like everyone around me forgot to grow up. conversing like children, fighting, hanging over the same topic for a million years, keep fighting with no logics. pls make this end. and i had 2 episodes today and one yesterday night. i hate being forced to do something and i think that is what is causing these and they are developing headaches. this is a real issue bc, obviously, and also bc ive never had headaches before this, in my life, ever. i just cried briefly for 2 seconds before i got interrupted. what do i hate about this? everything. i just want to live peacefully and fucking everything everyone around me does is triggering me. i cannot help but think maybe its me. but then, what can i do to change any of this? completely blacked out, unable to breath, headaches, rotting in bed, pulling my hair hoping this pain will distract me from the pain in my heart. and the worst part is that i am in this alone. nobody understands neither do they try. this is what is pushing me into this hole of not caring about anything. to just plug in and be on my phone or just sleep and pretend that nothing is happening. when i know very well the moment i turn the volume down im gonna be haunted down. if not by others, then by my own thoughts. i have no idea what will help. my dress, my hair, my face, my body, my footwear, my bag, my phone, my laptop, my behaviour, my character, my personality, my fitness, my mind, my friends, my education, my music choices, people have opinions about everything. fuck it they judge my sleep schedule. i wouldnt care if its some random people, but ur own family? something u thought u could rely on and tell things to? when u think of someone as the most important person in ur life throughout ur life time and u see them spiralling and love them regardless but something is just off? i dont even know if i can talk to someone freely without any consequences anymore. heck, im only now realising how long its been since ive talked to a person honestly and comfortably, being myself, without giving every single one of my words much thought. its been so long since ive built up these walls. being alone now feels like the new normal. and anything else is just contrary it, and ive convinced myself this is for the best. not because it is but because it is the only option i have left. CONTRARY. as i am just writing this, my aunt comes upto me and tells me how she loves me sm and not to be mad at her if she points out something about me. i mean, im never really mad. im dissapointed. im so dissapointed in everyone, it would take another lifetime to talk about it. but i wont because idc. I DO NOT CARE.

[manonamora-if-reviews]

Barcarolle in Yellow by Víctor Ojuel

============= Links

Play the game See other reviews of the game

============= Synopsis

Barcarolle in Yellow (1975, released in Italy as "Barcarolla in Giallo"), starring Eva Chantry. This lurid but stylish Italian thriller is set in Venice during the filming of an eponymous exploitation film, with the lead actress credited as "playing herself". In the day it was critically panned by highbrow critics as "yet another entertainment for those who relish scantily clad ladies being murdered in grisly ways, trippy camerawork and nonsensical plot twists" and relegated to the relative obscurity of other "video nasties". In the ensuing decades, this giallo has attained cult status, fondly remembered for its bold photography, ambiguous subtext, and of course the tragic circumstances that surrounded the production. Rumours abound about alternative endings that were cut from the theatre version, either by the Italian censors or the American distributor, with bootleg Betamax copies commanding high prices online.

============= Other Info

Barcarolle in Yellow is an Inform 7 parser, submitted to the 2023 Edition of the IFComp. It ranked 55th overall.

Status: Completed Genre: Giallo

CW: Murder, blood, sex, nudity, terrible acting

============= Playthrough

Played: 15-Dec-2023 Playtime: around 1h-ish (with walkthrough) Rating: 2/5 Thoughts: Missed the mark with loads of potential

============= Review

Barcarolle in Yellow is a meta parser, working as an interactive movie script for a pulpy giallo, blurring the lines between reality and movie scenes. You play as B-list probably-washed-out actress Eva Chantry as she gets the call to star in the eponymous movie. With a twist-on-twist-on-twist, the game includes multiple endings (found A, I know of at least 6), in-game hints, and a walkthrough for one ending (A).

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

This game got me a bit conflicted.

The premise is enticing, the poster is so eye-catching, and the starting scene? an incredible way of hooking players. So darn unique! With the formatting the game introduction and credits, the game seem to play heavily on movie codes. With its whole fake-cult movie vibe, it reminded me a bit of the Goncharov meme. I was really intrigued with what the game had to offer, what meta commentary it might be making about the genre, or how to approach the scene/real-life aspect.

Then I started the game... and the problems started. During the first proper playable scene, a Spaghetti Western filmed in Spain, events ended up repeating itself when I took off my costume after the shoot ended, with the director screaming CUT again, belittling Eva for screwing with filming. The following scene is timed, with any wrong move, any missing action, leading you to your early death. I died and restarted the game so many times because of that ONE scene needed a very specific sequence of actions to ward off your stalker. The timing is so tight it barely takes into account failing or asking for hints.

The rest of the game feels pretty railroady, with us/Eva getting few opportunities to have agency. This makes sense, considering she is an actress playing the role given to her, following the directions told. You have some options of choices here and there, which influences the story, but not much more. There is only one path you can take, or you'd lose the game, essentially.

But the game is not always clear about which actions are the wanted ones. It does provide hints, which are formatted like snippets of a movie script, telling the player a general idea of what they should do next (this was so smart!). Sometimes, the necessary (and unusual) action is not included in the hint... making things complicated. This maybe the most obvious in that first times scene. I had to look the walkthrough up to avoid (finally) dying right at the start. It really takes you out of the immersion the game so craft-fully created in the prior moments. It happens again when shooting the scene on the bridge. The undercluing really messes with playing.

After trying and failing to get through the game... I just opened the walkthrough and followed it to the letter... or tried to. Your hotel in Venice changes name with every playthrough (that was neat), but only one is included there (so I died... again and again, until I realised what was wrong). I would have been nice if the walkthrough included all possible paths instead of just that one ending... I'm sure someone will end up publishing a comprehensive walkthrough at some point...

The writing goes all-in in the giallo genre, with the depiction of Eva as this seductress woman in her hotel room - the character being overtly sexualised, but also wink-wink hihihi - as well as being the subject of quite a large amount of violence... and not being able to do much about it on or off screen. It's not really pleasant to go through, honestly, and I am not sure what the point of the game was concerning this. Was it discussing how movies with shitty budgets have bad production periods where accidents happen but everyone have to deal with it? Is this a commentary on standards in the entertainment industry for actresses, especially in terms of being replaceable when their attractiveness fade? Or about the psychology being having no agency through the frame of an "adventure" game? Is there even a message in all this? Do you need to find all the endings to get the overall picture? (I hope not...)

This game had ticked all the checkboxes for being incredible, but its potential just fell flat with the muddled and sometimes buggy implementation. It has a good solid back bone, and some neat things (the script formatting and custom messages), but it still needs quite a bit of tweaking to make it the cult movie/game it is hoping to be.

Final note: spam Z at the end of the game for bonus features.

[justlikejohn]

i really desperately want to make a little comic series about adachis perspective of the murders in inaba because i think what the writers left out (and implied) is just. SO interesting

long text post and extra EXTRA spoilery so be warned

1) its been brought up before (i think to this clip of a twitch streamer) but adachi is introduced when he runs across the screen to vomit at the sight of a corpse (fair) but like. thats the woman he assaulted a few days ago. its fair for adachi to think “i didnt kill her. but oh fuck, if the police knew that i threw her in a tv, they might suspect me, i might be FRAMED-” and to panic to that end instead. like. “if shes killed herself, or someones kidnapped her, they might think its me.” what is going through his head at that point? i dont think hed associate his actions with the outcome - i dont think hed immediately connect the tv with her death, i think hes too childish for that line of thinking. i bet hes thinking, like, “god, shes gone and gotten herself killed, this is gonna ruin my life..!” i think itd take much more time for adachi to figure out what happened than most people are giving him the credit for. and i COMPLETELY disagree that vomiting in that instance was an act to cover his ass - i dont even think he believes hes in real danger of being suspected at that point. idk i think it was just. brilliant writing. it can be interpreted in SO many ways and its such a small, forgettable part that shows SO much character

2) i think itd be fun to include a few physical bits of evidence against him, too. like, what if when he pushed yamano in, there was a struggle and he got scratched on his neck pretty badly? or, she was resisting so hard, she had dug her fingernails so far into his arm it bled and left scars? i imagine an interaction with dojima that goes along the lines of, like,

dojima: “so. had a girl over last night, adachi?”

and adachi is just shitting himself. like oh fuck oh shit he KNOWS what the fuck do i do so he awkwardly laughs and says “haha.. what do you.. whaddya mean, dojima..?” 

and dojima gestures to adachis collar. cause its done all the way up. and adachi never wears his shirt that formally, so in dojimas eyes, hes thinking “this guy has a love bite, i bet. he thinks hes slick, haha.”

and adachi is still sweating bullets cause beneath his collar are claw marks from his struggle with yamano. clear fingernail marks down the side of his neck where she tried to grab at him. and he hasnt had the time to figure out how make up works yet, but that night he goes to the drug store and gets ANYTHING that will cover up the marks. hes washing foundation off his shirts for weeks. 

and like, as the viewer, youre thinking “he doesnt need to do that; just say it was a cat or something” but thats the POINT! could you imagine to sheer PARANOIA upon murdering somebody?? youre suddenly policing EVERYTHING you do. not to say adachi wasnt aware of his presentation and how people perceived him beforehand, (i bet he did!) but it turns from “how do i play people” to “how do i get away with this” in an instant. and soon, it would turn back into “how do i play people,” but like exploring the mental strain that it would put someone under lol

3) also. this man has a persona. idk if this gets explained in the true ending (forgive me if it does; i missed it by ONE text prompt and my last save file is like 5 hours away from the option lmao) but doesnt that imply that hes accepted his shadow self..? like. THATS why hes like that. so, pessimistic and nihilistic. what was his shadow self like? what was adachi trying to repress? was it bitterness and resentment? perhaps thats why he turned out so angry - he embraced the anger he felt towards to world early on in the game. did his shadow stem from feelings of hopelessness, feelings that he has no meaning and no worth? was it an angry shadow, like yosukes? a bitter shadow, like chies? 

or - to break the pattern - was his shadow guilt-ridden, scared, paranoid? if adachi was trying to display feelings that he was functioning and well, would his shadow instead be all the fear he had tried to repress? what did adachi not want to see in himself? 

either way, he accepted his shadow, and still turned out the way he did. he was committed to his own entertainment to the end. i think thats so interesting - sometimes, you shut down parts of yourself for a reason. thats the whole fuckin POINT of persona 4!

4) im just spitballing here (this was supposed to be a paragraph and ive been writing for 40 minutes) but like. what if adachi was so insane BECAUSE he killed people, not the other way around? sort of kind of accidentally murdering someone in a fit of bitter nice guy rage, then ABSOLUTELY murdering a HIGHSCHOOL GIRL on PURPOSE, then MANIPULATING a mentally ill guy into KIDNAPPING and TRYING TO KILL CHILDREN, HOSPITALISING your besites MOTHERLESS CHILD, etc. like, of course adachi did this all on purpose, but i think its so much fun to explore his mindset! at what point did he decide to commit? how long after yamanos corspe was discovered? how long after he killed saki? because by the time the investigation team is on his ass he is FULLY dedicated to the role. not a shred of doubt. hes rationalised everything by that point. how much of his time did he spend thinking about what hed done vs how much to explain why all of it was justified..?

i think the guilt of all that would really truly fuck someone up. point of no return stuff. adachis not some master puppeteer, hes a snowballing maniac on the hunt for entertainment! i know thats like. the whole point of his character lol. but my point was, i think his actions fed his outlook before his outlook influenced his actions. i think that getting away with serial murders for MONTHS would take a real toll on someones psyche; this is especially applicable to those of us who are unstable enough to try shoving a celebrity in a television in the first place

well this was much longer than expected and turned into me rambling about adachi. hey, at least i stuck to a theme! 😅 maybe one day ill turn all these ideas into a comic of some sort. i love thinking about this guy. he is my blorbo :3c

[shititbe]

Anyway, Peter Parker is Bi, and I Won’t Be Convinced Otherwise.

Firstly, we have to get our bases covered. What exactly is Bi-sexuality? What is sexuality? 

Sexuality is defined as a persons identity in relation to gender(s) they are attracted to. Why is this important? Peter’s sexuality has never been specifically stated in the comics, nor in any other form of media. It’s assumed that he is straight because of his popular relationship with Mary Jane Watson in the comics, and the movies. 

Now that we have a bases for what exactly sexuality is and how it’s defined, let’s go over Peter’s partners. 

Obviously Peter and Mary Jane are a piece of comic book history. They eventually get married, though sadly, during the events of Civil War II (I think, don’t quote me) Peter and Mary Jane sell their marriage to Mephisto in order to save Aunt May

They later had their memories of their marriage restored, they have yet to get back together and it’s been a few issues if I remember correctly. Next we have Peter’s first, and most unfortunate love, Gwen Stacy. 

They dated in high school where she later died. Of course, Peter has dated other people (namely, Black Cat, Betty Brant, Carol Danvers, Anna Maria, Cindy Moon, Lian Tang, and so on). Since we have his known history of heterosexuality out there, we need to move onto another important part of Peter’s Bi-sexuality. An important implication in any media, especially queer media though, and that is the homoerotic subtext. 

Homoerotic subtext is important part of queer culture, a lot of the time it’s used to portray a characters queerness without saying it out (see: Dorian Gray by Oscar Wild or Great Gatsby By Fitz). In current decade, homoerotic subtext is often used for queer baiting or creating more realistic male friendships. 

So what’s the difference between someone creating a health male friendship (or a character comfortable in their heterosexuality) and implying a character is queer? 

Here are some examples of a healthy male character, both with himself and his friendships.  

Clearly he’s just taking the shit, and messing around with Reed. He’s comfortable enough (or as I like to see it, so traumatized because good god this guy has been Spider-Man since he was 15 good god that’s awful. He probably doesn’t care anymore). Here are some examples of Peter a little more than just a straight man shooting the shit. 

This has three meanings. Two of which I will take, one of which is just deeply embarrassing. Despite Peter’s history with humiliating events, I don’t think he would get his own spunk in his eyes. Leaving the other two options, he has experience getting spunk of - some kind - in his eyes, and/or he’s taking the shit again. Which is very likely. 

Kissing a cop? For....no reason? A little not so hetero of you Peter. 

You can practically hear his disappointment in his voice. Also could be read as taking the shit, but why would you. 

Making out with The Thing? Gay. 

This one is the most important. Peter is clearly tired, annoyed by his teammates (see wolverine being wolverine in the corner). Shits on fire, its mid battle, and Peter has the audacity to mutter “I hate men” to himself. The only people I have every heard say this in that was are lgbt and straight women, and lgbt men. This kind of expression only comes from people who date, or deal with men in a completely different world than straight men. Straight men use this phrase as an endearment, “Oh have you seen Bill today, I hate that guy.” “Man Jerry can do so many push-ups, I hate that guy.” Very different language, and implications (I also, obviously don’t know how straight men speak). 

 Now that we’ve gone over our bases, and homoerotic subtext. How else could we gather that Peter Parker is Bi? There are many tropes in media - queer media - that allure to a characters queerness. Like homoerotic subtext, there are ways to tell an audience something without specifically saying it. 

This is a gay wedding Peter went to in the recent comics. I don’t know if any of you have been to a gay wedding recently, but Peters face (the first panel above the wedding) is the same exact face I made at my first gay wedding. It’s the face of excitement for not only the couple, but for yourself. The hope that maybe, you too can actually be in a same-sex relationship. 

I’m also going to allure to queer tropes as stated previously. Such as the real, and fictional trope of lgbt people sticking together. Thousands of years of belittlement and oppression will make groups of people not want to wonder out, and subconsciously look for others like them. 

Johnny Storm (and Wade Wilson since he comes in later but I couldn’t find a picture of the confirmation) is cannon Bi-sexual (Pan-sexual). 

Their friendship is deeply homoerotic as most queer friendships in media and real life are. Johnny flirts with Peter on many occasions (saying his ideal women is a female version of Peter, inviting him over to watch is sex tape, and so on) and of course oh my god they were roommates. 

Some other popular queer tropes are: Found Family, Soulmates, and Enemies to lovers. Because it’s superhero related, this includes the Identity Porn tag as well.  

Peter Parker and Wade Wilson have a famous Love/Hate relationship. I mean, how could you expect anything less when your first meeting with this known mercenary is him throwing your civilian persona out the window of a car. Now, Wade still doesn’t know Peter is Spider-Man in the current run of comics, but that doesn’t make anything about them any less gay. 

For the Found Family Trope: 

Because it’s Peter and Wade, their whole development can be read as Enemies to Friends to Lovers, so I wont bother backing that up because, uh, it speaks for itself. One panel really does to add that cause though 

I’m not going to explain what a free-pass list is.

The Soulmates part I know I have to back up. 

For SoulMates:  

Now this panel requires a little explanation. Wade kills Peter, not knowing he’s Spider-Man. Weasel takes over for Peter (they don’t know its him) so no one suspects he’s dead. Deadpool begins to feel guilty he killed his best buds best bud, so he tries to bring Peter back to life. Losing his stunning good looks (switching back to how he looked before Weapon X making his wife Shiklah estranged (then she married Dracula but thats beside the point)). Spider-Man is Peter’s “true self” or patronus for Harry Potter fans. Wade is stupid and hasn’t connected the dots yet, effectively making him the biggest simp in history. Seriously, who destroys their marriage for the c h a n c e for getting some with their idol? A Simp, that’s who.

Peter forgives Wade for killing him (and for saving him from killing their genetic daughter itsy-bitsy). If someone killed me they better be hot as fuck before I even thing about forgiving them. Ignoring Peter’s super sexy forgiving nature, uh, he’s kinda simping. 

Died in each others arms. Nothing else is needed. 

They’re heartmates. From what I read, the feeling has to be mutual in order for it to work. The witches (long story, comics are hard to explain) that captured deadpool were expecting his wife so they could get the headmistress back. Instead, they got Peter. Basically Heartmates = soulmates but chosen for you instead of chosen by you. 

To conclude my point: 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.