#its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'

[moghedien]

i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking

[featherwingfae]

Gonna try to make this a "Quick post".

(warning some light swearing)

Maybe, just maybe one of the reasons we're seeing so many new Therians nowadays is because humans have fucked up the earth so bad that the universe just went fuck it and threw in a bunch of nature brains to balance things out. People who wouldn't just be able to look at the devastation of wildlife and their homes and just move on like nothing happened. Because they can see themselves in those creatures, and it hurts them to know that they are suffering. And maybe if there's enough nature brains, seeing themselves in the withering world around them, then more and more people might stand up and say this isn't right. We need to fix this. And maybe in a human world where one of the most lovely traits of humanity is being able to work together a bunch of nature brains with human faces can make a difference. They say animals can't speak human. Well they can, and are. Maybe Therians are the voices of nature coming out from the wilds, to places and bodies where they're not comfortable, where the air is heavy with pollution and trash litters the ground. And they have to learn weird shit like math, and work exhausting jobs that are often just to pay the bills that allow them to keep surviving. All so that they can see the damage from the other side and better understand the problem and together find solutions to stop it.

I'm not saying humans (and others) can't and/or dont do anything. I'm saying it's harder to do nothing when you look at creatures suffering and see yourself. Empathy is a beautiful thing. It helps connect us. But in a world where almost no one can afford the barest minimum just to survive. Where finding happiness feels like a struggle because you're constantly grinding and pushing yourself beyond your mental, emotional and/or physical boundaries, how easy is it to just shut yourself off. To put on the blinders because you're stuck yourself and you don't feel like there's anything you can do, so why upset yourself further by caring. It's sad. Terribly sad. Soul crushingly, heart wrenchingly sad.

Most people nowadays suffer from anxiety, depression or some other mental illness. And yes those illnesses are more known and understood now, and are more easily diagnosed. But I think the reason we see them everywhere now, is as simple as everyone is suffering. The human world in its current state, is not a healthy place. Fun times are often merely distraction from the crushing reality around us. It hurts to accept how much hurt there is right now.

I'm not saying it's all on the shoulders of Therians. I'm not saying you have to quit your job or your school and run off into the wild picking up every piece of litter and chaining yourself to trees. That's not what this post is about.

This post is about the increase of Therians and my personal hypothesis as to why there's so many now. And it's as simple as this. One Therian does not shoulder all the burden of the earth. Just as one human does not. But if there are Therians in schools, going "hey look at this little/big guy isn't he cute/cool" showing their friends and classmates"it's so sad he's going extinct because his home is being destroyed" , Therians on trails, streets, beaches seeing litter and using just a little bit of their time to remove at least some of it. Therians in stores refusing to buy certain products because of animal cruelty/testing, Therians manifesting/praying to help even if it's just a little bit, Therians on the Internet/TV spreading awareness, Therians in government actually trying to do what's best for the environment and the people, instead of just what's best for their bank account etc etc.

In reference to that horrible math stuff, a million ones together doesn't equal nothing. No matter how small an act it still adds up to something. Therians everywhere means more people who can't forget, who can't move on, who can't just shutdown and hope for the best. People who feel like they have to do something. So they don't eventually see themselves disappear (go extinct).

The universe and the earth can sometimes have a funny way of balancing things out. Maybe Therians are one way to at least try regaining that balance.

I'm overjoyed to see more Therians. Because I feel like more Therians means more voices for nature, and more chances to save this beautiful planet ☺️✨🌍🌎🌏💚

Anyway that's my two cents. Sorry this post ended up being longer than I intended 😅

And now my fascinating and fantastic creatures, great and small, furry, feathered, scaled or whatever-ed, and all others of open mind who took time to read my ramblings, I wish upon you a most glorious day/night. May we all follow our hearts/souls to do what we feel we can for this magnificent planet. ✨

👁️🪽✨🌟🌱❄️🪻🍀🌎🍄🌹💚🌍🌵🌈⛈️🌠🦊🐁💙

Till next time

[not-poignant]

Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

[kasumingo]

People who are like, get medicated, get therapy, get help, as if its the easiest most effective thing ever boggle the mind. Like i know they cannot know unless theyve been in the system for any length of time but theres so much to unpack here. Theres LAYERS

Theres the fact that everyone should be aware of by now, that its often expensive and inaccessible to many as well, but thats entry level shit. It goes deeper.

The fields of psychology and ESPECIALY psychiatry are steeped in stigma and dogma and straight up bad info. Everything is depression until proven otherwise. Gender stigma is very very real with autism and ad(h)d and so is actual genuine oppression that can come with those diagnoses and anything "more serious". God help you if youre diagnosed with or suspect cluster A or B personality disorders or ANY psychotic ones. I dont have firsthand experience but ive heard enough to know that often those with ASPD and schizoaffective/schizophrenic get treated as subhuman. Not to mention how severe antipsychotics are as medication, theres good reasons people often dont take theirs.

But even if youve got one of the "easy" disorders, guess what? "Success" is still not guaranteed. Figuring out medication and dosage can be a long and exhausting process, a lot of them have significant drawbacks and restrictions.

And cognitive behavioral therapy can also have negative effects! Especially if ur misdiagnosed! Or do it while youre still in survival mode! Or have alexythimia like myself! Its not an one size fits all cure.

People are so ready to condescend to the mentally ill and say stuff like "get therapy" as if its the holy grail of mental care without a trace of irony. People lapse treatment and lick their own wounds the best they can for so many reasons, A LOT OF THEM RELATING TO HOW SHIT AND INEFFECTIVE THERAPY CAN BE, and instead of that being the focus the talk about it is so often boiled down to them being lazy or incapable of taking care of themselves.

I know this couldve been its own post but honestly with you posting abt it i feel better giving this here directly. It got kind of ranty but just, people who use "get therapy" as the ultimate gotcha BOIL MY BLOOD.

People think that therapist, psychologists, psychiatrist and similar are these unquestioned authorities that always have your best interest in mind and have the answer for anything.

While the truth is that the psych field is filled with incompetent bigots either entering the field for the power trip or having an incredible biased and misguided point of view at best.

I don't personally have the experience with BPD or ASPD myself either, but it's not hard to imagine how they treat individuals they don't even consider people… that the majority of society don't consider ones either and doesn't care what happens to them.

AND YES GOD IT'S INFURIATING.

Especially since in many cases it doesn't come from genuine care, but as a dismissal and denial that many people ARE broken, weird, strange, peculiar, different but they do NOT need fixing, CAN'T be fixed and certainly don't owe strangers recovery.

Modern attitudes I'm seeing in online spaces are only setting mental health of the societies back years if not decades and leads to mental health of all involved unnecessarily dipping even further, only adding to what's happening in the world as a whole lately.

It's frustrating and I only can hope that my yelling in the void brings someone peace or makes rethinking the attitudes they've been carrying up until this point.

[cityandking]

i'm late but!! A3, C7, E4, F12, H3, L1 for minah, vesper & bran xoxo

thanks babe // Big Ol’ Honkin’ OC Question List

A3: Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? 

MINAH — likely has a bit of PTSD or some other undiagnosed trauma response. she’s aware of it in that she’s aware that sometimes things Freak Her Out for no discernible reason and she has to cope with the ???????, but I don’t think mental health practices in the Towers Age offer a succinct vocabulary for acknowledging and processing things. mostly she tries to ignore it into going away. obviously that’s going great for her. VESPER — to be honest once you get past the general sense of martyrdom and exhaustion and the dregs of cricle "magic is made to serve man" conditioning, vesper is surprisingly stable both mentally and emotionally speaking. she has some addictive habits, but none that have spiraled into any long-term substance abuse problems BRAN — bran’s definitely got some kind of anxiety disorder, and also probably pretty pronounced seasonal affective disorder. it’s easy to forget about it when she’s living somewhere bright and warm all year round but every now and then it rears its head. she’s more aware of the anxiety—some days when it all gets too much she secrets herself away and waits for the waters to calm.

C7: Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

MINAH — believes people change, but she’s a little iffy on the natural vs effort debate. people change because they have to, or because they’re forced to. how aware they are of the process doesn’t necessarily play into it VESPER — believes people can change if they want to, but it takes effort to do so BRAN — believes people changed based on where they are and who’s around them—there’s an element of effort in there, but change is also a reflection of how the world effects you, whether you realize or not

E4: Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

MINAH — it was okay. some parts of it she liked a lot (seeing other kids, some lessons, skipping out lessons with the other kids, music) and some things were an absolutely pain in the ass to sit through VESPER — vesper (as a nerd) liked school! she liked classes, she liked learning, she liked magic and history and all her instructors who encouraged her questions (well. most of her questions). she liked knowing exactly what was expected of her and how to perform in those areas. and she liked teaching, once she became an enchanter. for all its ills and horrors, she did enjoy the college part of circle life. BRAN — bran was not a great student and really didn’t care for school. there were so many other things she could be doing! also she was kind of one of those kids who either Got something and enjoyed being good at it (maths, navigation, history, fencing) or didn’t get it and hated it (literature, languages, diplomacy).

F12: Would they enjoy a theme park?

MINAH — minah would love a theme park. there are rides, there are performances, there are trinkets, there’s all the fried food you could want! she’d have a great time at a theme park VESPER — she’d have fun, but be slightly overwhelmed by the crowds and probably need to take some time to find a quiet corner and recharge. I’m not sure if she’s the kind of person who enjoys the windswept thrill of a coaster or if she’d prefer to stick to something where her feet are closer to the ground BRAN — absolutely! yes! she’d have the best time. she’d ride everything, especially the big extreme scary stuff. bring on the thrills!

H3: Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

MINAH — in her deepest secretest heart of hearts minah’s a romantic who believes in One True Love. rationally she knows people make relationships work through love and dedication and effort and whatever, and that believing everyone can only have one ideal partner is childish and irrational, but there’s a part of her holding onto the idea that there's one Person out there VESPER — vesper believes relationships are the kind of thing you have to grow and tend, which means they can appear in endless forms and permutations. rightness is relative BRAN — bran believes in multiple partners who could be the “right” one, for multiple reasons. honestly she’s a little iffy even on the concept of a “right” partner at all (sabine, as usual, is an outlier adn should not have been counted)

L1: How have your characters changed since you created them?

MINAH — minah's much quieter and more blunt than I originally intended, but that's because a) the perils of playing over voice chat (my discord has been shit lately and keeps building up delays which is annoying af) and also because b) I am way less social and improv-y than she is which makes things hard. one of the perils of playing a high-charisma extrovert when I am neither of those things. such is D&D VESPER — vesper went through a pretty rigorous creation process and was sort of birthed out of the ashes of an older trevelyan mage, which feels appropriate for vesp given all her fire symbolism (the og gal was named mara and was a knight-enchanter). that said, once she existed in the world, she's kind of stayed the same. no major changes, just more depth BRAN — she’s changed so much from her very initial conceptualization—a villainous (antihero?) doomed love interest in my 2015 nanowrimo novel to a noble and cleric of a sea god to her current iteration. that said, once she reached her Varania Form I think she's been pretty settled—she just gets deeper and richer and more nuanced the longer she lives with me

[meatmensch]

Journal entry

Genuinely my life is so stupid now and the psychological toll is enormous and I'm scared of everything all the time and I feel like I need something huge and awesome to happen just to keep me from unbearable dread monotony and fear.

Like last night was amazing and definitely important and huge and awesome and everything I hoped it would be but the thing about the good times is they only last so long especially when they're partially beer-induced and inspired by most of the homies being in one place and everything else in life is fucking stupid

Just wish it would all get less scary and overall easier. Going through life feeling like I'm constantly hanging on by a thread and it's literally just back to business as fucking usual because this is just how I was brought up - dealing with this same old stupidity. I know it was good for me to grow and hope but I do get to feeling naïve and stupid for hoping this kind of pain was behind me!

And I fucking know what I can do to make it all easier and feel less scary. The same shit I've been doing for a long time now. The everyday self-care and beating back the brainwashing and effects of all the trauma with a baseball bat and spending time with people who really love me and care about me. But the thing is the one person who was always supposed to love me and care about me is out of her fucking mind and I can't help but feel like a coward for not trying to stop things from going down the way they have but I know it's all just one fucked up trolly problem and she's fucked either way and I would've only gotten even more run over by a train than I already am if I tried to get involved. But man my own fucking mother is in such a vulnerable position and so much danger and our world is so fucking hostile towards severely mentally ill people and people who use drugs and people who are houseless. And I truly fucking hate her stupid backwater goyish Republican family members I really really do. What's happened is no one's fault but if there's anyone to be angry at it's fucking them!!!

Anyway. All this to say I feel frightened and disconnected and like what tethers I have are frayed. And all I can fucking do is keep trying my best. Man when will the grind fucking stop! When will it get easier! Fuck! And I talk to my friends about all of this and they're so nice and there's not much more they could possibly do for me but I just. feel like grabbing everyone by the shoulders and shaking them and screaming DON'T YOU GET IT??? IT'S OVER!!! IN WAYS I NEVER DARED TO FEAR, IT IS OVER! But we just hang out and move on and talk about TV or baseball or the weather. Life grinds on and I and many other are mutilated by its gears.

One of the most frustrating things that I'm dealing with because of all of this is my anxiety is so high we are nearing delusion territory. It is just exhausting 'cause I have to think so much harder about social interactions to assure myself that I'm not behaving like a bad guy and people don't fucking hate me. And even when I've arrived at the correct conclusions logically I still just think and think and think about that shit. It takes a lot of the fun out of hanging out with friends and it makes me feel so sad that my brain is being unfair to them by throwing out all these nasty thoughts about how they don't like me or what have you. I'm like brain this is very rude! But I know I can't get down on myself for that shit too much because I must be so compassionate and loving with myself right now and being a self-hater is not going to help anyone or anything. Anyway. Feels truly so shit and frustrating and embarrassing. My perception of reality is more skewed than normal!!! What the fuck!!! How do I get out of here and back to the world that makes sense and isn't so so scary!!! (I know how: see 4th paragraph.)

The good thing about being in PTSD/familial hell is at least I have Dean Winchester to rely on. I wore my mother's wedding ring yesterday because well I have a bleeding heart and the deancoding runs so so deep. And I've just been thinking about. well. "My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He's the one who let Mom die, who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!"

I will now end with some slay words of hope. "Take it easy, but take it." "God would like us to be joyful even when our hearts lie panting on the floor." "Hope for the best, expect the worst." "To everything, there is a season." "Stop the world! I wanna get on!" Also "I guess I was wrong when I said I never promised anyone. I promised me" and "we close our eyes and dream."

[amyriadofodd]

You know... I've been thinkin'..

Narcissists.

Narcissists have become such a hot topic in the last couple years. It's such a scary idea too think we have encountered one. A person that is characterized by an insatiable appetite for malice and spite, envy and vengefulness. Not that that I've provided an exhaustive definition of them, I am not an expert, if you're wondering. But I happen to be a person who has encountered individuals with a remarkable capacity for unsolicited meanness, and my observations are just as allowable as any.

I happen to be an empath that has learned the hard way that certain patterns should earn my distrust when it comes to other people. I am still eating the fruits of this lesson even now. A worthwhile meal, too, if I am honest. If i knew better, I would've done better at the start of adulthood. I did not, and so I had to learn what i should do. It's cost me years and years. I've gained the wisdom of an adventurous sage in my travels of ups and downs.

It's okay to say no to people that have demonstrated harmful intent. It's okay to not believe the words they say. I will not be further gaslight into believing that i am wrong for not doling out chance after chance. But what about the narcissist?

It may be surprising to know that narcissists are the ones mistreated in their "origin stories", if you will. The mind will develop ways to cope, sometimes long before we recognize the toxic behaviors that pull us through difficult times and harsh interactions.

Narcissism in some extreme cases is classified as a personality disorder, with real diagnostic criterion. Why is there no reprieve for such individuals in the mental health community? It seems that mental health providers would rather condemn and discard them, rather than continue to embrace and sufficiently care for the psychological needs of the people who may need it most. It is as if psychologists have grown tired of their duties, and would rather be our friendly neighborhood "Narc busters", alerting us of how to spot, and run away from, people showing signs of a valid disability.

To me, it feels like a celebration of failure to see so many experts join in on the narc bashing trend. Where are your answers for us? What help is there for my loved ones who struggle amidst their harmful tendencies? Or have you given up? Now is not the time to glory.

Maybe my burden of love for those who hurt me is the beginning of more research. I have been a consistent target of a number of bullies in my life, but I cannot be the only person unwilling to settle for less than a proper and empathetic solution for fellow mental health warriors, who have been counted causalities on the battlefield. There are people I love counted in that number.

After all, I have had my own share of mental health battles. And not small ones. Violent disruptions of my mental peace have plagued my life and checkered my past. I am not a sufferer of the malicious varieties, but nevertheless my issues have cost me a great deal and many delays in life. Even when I myself am confused on how to respond, i know that further stigma for the mentally ill is not what's truly best. Identifying the problem is a necessary start to the solution, not the end fo the search for one. And so, I have not been overcome, as long as there is breath in the body, all is not lost. There is ground to be regained. Where there is weakness, there is strength to be found. Where there are problems, there are solutions yet fulfilled. If it's possible for me, it's possible for anyone. I believe this strongly.

Narcissists need our help too. We cannot give them away to their pain and its overwhelming expressions. Our western approaches to mental health are just not sufficient. We cannot be content to leave any suffering person behind.

Dare to dig deeper, experts. Our narcissistic society is depending on you.

In the meantime, I will maneuver to the best of my ability. As long as we keep asking questions and thinking critically, the future is still bright.

--- The Musings of MilPickle

[moosecow]

UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME!

Ten things I wish would just DIE already…

10. Miraculous Ladybug

Before you sharpen your pitchforks! Hear me out! I actually REALLY like this show…but GOD It is the BIGGEST tease I have EVER seen! Marinette and Adrien should have gotten together at the end of the first season, and maybe we could have explored their relationship, given them more depth? Raised the stakes instead of the CONANT. ENDLESS. FILLER. Of absolute nothing that is this show. We all know they’re going to get together, just rip the bandaid and let us move on. I’ve never seen a show jerk its fan base around so much!

9. Avatar the Last Air Bender

Again, I LOVE THIS SHOW, SO, SO MUCH! But I can tell that they’re now turning this into a cash cow. I don’t want to see another avatar show, especially after what they did with Legend of Korra. What made Avatar so special was that, yes there was a lot going on in their world, but it never stopped focusing on the core cast, their development, their relationships, and their reactions to the world they live in. Korra just gave us more and more characters instead of focusing on the ones we had, and it lost me with its overcomplicated plot, and I fear legend of Genji, AND the live action remake (which already has alarm bells going up because it’s live action and when has worked out well?) Can we just…revive an old gem on Nickelodeon? Or make something new and substantial instead of relying on SpongeBob reruns?

8. Dragon Ball

Yes, another show I like! But MAN! How many power-ups can we go through before it gets old! Even ASH finally reached his goal in pokemon! There’s so much content here, and I’m grateful for that! I don’t mind more games and merchandise, but enough of the show! It’s clear that only Goku and Vegeta are the only characters capable of beating the big enemy, and no one cares much for the younger characters taking over. But at this point their not that interesting. ESPECIALLY Goku. He’s just a guy that likes fighting. Vegeta was more interesting with his reformed villain arc, but he is constantly overshadowed by his dumber super-saiyen. It feels like they’ve exhausted all their stories….

7. Velma

I’m gonna barf. Seriously, all people do is complain about this show. Can we just, STOP? Review bombing it, complaining about it, making reaction videos to it, is just…feeding it at this point. If all of us hate so much! So many shows that deserved to be watched and enjoyed were completely ignored and faded away from the public consciousness, but not this one, at least, not yet. I see video and video about it! Ignore it. Let it die like it’s supposed to! And now I will never mention it again, and neither should you!

6. Marvel

It’s not so much as I want this franchise to die…more like…I think we need a break! It’s been like 20 years of non stop Marvel and I feel like we already peaked with the Avengers Endgame. Besides Moon Knight and Wakanda Forever, all I’ve seen is general dislike of all the new stuff coming out. I know that Disney is a big conglomerate and they’re going to milk this thing for all it’s worth…but wouldn’t people enjoy it more if you let it simmer for a bit, let the ideas come back after some rest, and then get back into it?

5. 13 Reasons Why

This show should have stayed a book! Oh. My. God. As someone that struggles with mental illness, watching this get sensationalized and reduced to nothing more then teenage angst for badly written teenage characters is so gross! I don’t have much to say about it. It just makes me so angry! How do people actually like this and continue to watch and recommend it? It’s basically the same as every other “dramatic” teen show out there, but uses suicide as a hook to draw people in, which is so disrespectful! You want a show that is more mature then this and actually handles mental illness well? Watch BoJack Horseman.

4. Grey’s Anatomy

I don’t care about the relationships in this show. I don’t who broke up with who, who died, who couldn’t have a kid, who cheated on who. I cared more, in the first season at least, when they were just young surgeons, and they were dealing with the struggles of that. BUT MAN! This show quickly became a soap opera! I mean what did I expect from an ABC show. Just end it already! If you want a good show about doctor’s that focuses on their personal growth and the difficulties of the job watch House, or better yet, watch Scrubs.

3. Kingdom Hearts

This hurts. This hurts. So. Much. GOD! I love these games…but I REALLY hate the direction they’re going. KH3 was such a red flag! The story was complicated enough with time travel, the whole foretellers things, how we keep adding characters instead of focusing on the core Destiny Islands Trio, how Kairi is basically a plot device where, EVEN IN HER OWN GAME, she has to be rescued by Sora. And now, KH4 is on its way and Nomura is basically turning it into versus 13….I don’t even know anymore. Things were getting real dumb in Dream Drop Distance. I’m just going to pretend thee series ended at KH2, where the emotions were there and the story wasn’t derailed and removed of all the charm it had…Either end it…or do something actually good with it, because at this point, it’s just getting ridiculous. And this is coming from someone that loves this series with every fiber of their being.

2. Stranger Things

Yeah, Netflix will cancel actually interesting things like Inside Job, Dead End National Park, I’m not okay with this, Sense 8, and introduce stupid ideas such as removing password sharing (EVEN AFTER RAISING THE PRICE BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE PASSWORD SHARING) but they will keep things like Cuties and…this show. At this point, Stranger Things is a shadow of its former self. Not only are there no stakes, because everyone has plot armor, but it’s basically just teenage drama at this point. Remember how in Season 1, the demagorgan was actually scary? Remember how going into the upside down had health consequences? The characters just walk around now without a problem. But this show is just drama filled enough to keep the attention of the masses without actually having any substance. It makes me sad that it followed the pattern of the first season being the most interesting season and then everything going down hill from there. How did THIS show, of all shows…make me not care? What could be worse then this?

Well…

#1. Harry Potter Series

I loved this as a kid. I read this thing so many times…but now…I’m past it, and JK is just. A. Terrible. Terrible. Person…the fact that it doesn’t end with her words, that she actively gives money and supports hate groups, kind ruins the messages I learned in HP. As a kid, I thought part of the point was to be inclusive, and to make life better for people that are mistreated by the mainstream. But no. Not only were the last few movies terrible, but Rowling keeps digging that hole. Even if I wanted to, I just can’t enjoy it anymore. So, even if not everyone will. I’m going to let it die. We need another book series to inspire a generation…I just can’t with this anymore…

[waitwithwaluigi]

Why I like Quirkless!Midoriya AUs

TW: explicit mentions of discrimination and bullying against disabled (ends at ***)

TL;DR at the bottom

So I've got mental illness. (I know, I'm a pretty rare find on tumblr) Despite the fun cocktail of disabilities I had, I wasnt diagnosed until later in my teens. As you can guess, school wasn't very fun. I was disadvantaged because I was different. I was treated as less, as if I had something missing and nothing I could ever say or do could fix that. I didn't know what people thought of me though.

Dont get me wrong- I am not my disabilities. But I can say for certain, it's been a huge factor in how I see the world now, how I move around it. The protective rage and resigned acceptance I feel when I see discrimination against minority groups might not be the same as an able person. The desperate kicking and clawing to establish better resources for people like me isnt the same. The frustration and exhaustion I feel when the school board sees my 'condition' listed and having to prove myself competent over and over again isn't the same.

I've had my fair share of Fun!! and Exciting!!! experiences in discrimination!!!!

Like saying hello to the koi fish while trying to rescue my school bag that a teacher had flung out of the classroom after she got tired of my ADHD ass. (I bet you can guess how I felt when I saw That™️ koi pond scene) I was called out to the front of the class and told to unpack my bag and and show my classmates how disgusting I was (I was depressed and decided to just carry all my books around instead of unpack and repack according to schedule). I remember sprinting after my packed lunch but being so depressed and exhausted to keep going for more than 5 minutes. I was made an example of when I forgot my things and had to go back to school during the afternoon classes to grab the worksheet I left in class.

Through it all had to keep quiet. I was less, after all. If I wasn't, why did so many ignore the bullying? Why did they let go of me and say I was exagerating when they found me Too Much To Handle?

(Not looking for pity btw, just giving context)

***

Now, I initially began reading MHA fics because I was a teen who saw pretty people and cool fighting and was like "damn shawty, I'm gonna need more". (All hail Yaomomo) Then I came across the Quirkless Midoriya Izuku tag and was like huh.

Pretty interesting concept, right? So I read. And I read and I read and I read. And something just clicked. It wasnt like one of those mental illness success stories where they where overly positive or ones where I had to keep taking breaks because I kept getting reminded of the bs I went through. It was just removed enough but still relatable to my experience. Midoriya wouldn't be less if he didn't get a quirk.

In these fics, he found ways to work around it. Like yeah, maybe finding a work arounds when fighting your besties with god-like abilities while you have nothing isn't the same as finding a way to study that best suited my ADHD ass. But the fight to be considered equal, the ways I had to find creative ways to problems that my classmates thought nothing of. It resonated with me. (The fantasy and escapism were bonuses too)

It gives me a little extra push when I get too exhausted after the 100th time that day I have to prove that I am just as capable as anyone else.

While I'm not really a fan of Quirkless Villain!Midoriya cuz its typically a little too edgy for me, I do like it when its written well. Fuck the system and fuck the assholes who doubt us, right?

Something Fun!! I've experienced with disabilities is that you sometimes have to ignore any system entirely and just Do It. Just kick people in the shins and carve out the opportunity that nobody would bother giving you. Maybe one day they'll recognise you, maybe not. But you're doing what you've always wanted to do. That's something I feel when I read Quirkless Vigilante!Midoriya fics.

Quirkless AUs aren't like Batman where he's Super Intelligent and has 70 black belts. There isnt as much angst oof. He was just some Dood with determination and some smarts. We get to see him train, see the emotions and struggles all written out. Not to mention, I was a teen when I found MHA so it was extra relatable. I'm very sure that there are superheroes who fit that description but this niche is what I found.

That's why I like Quirkless!Midoriya AUs so much.

Do I think him becoming a hero will change a lot? No, not as much as me becoming a world famous super star would. But it would inspire. Even if it inspired just one person, stopped one person from doing something bad to soothe the ache, wouldn't it be enough? It inspired me at least.

Tl;dr: I seeing people with 'less' ability than their peers be equal and overcome challenges using creative solutions since they arent as 'catered' to, just like a disabled person. Its also easier to read without getting triggered compared to an actual book about mental illness discrimination.

Please enjoy this adorable panel as thanks for reading

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW agoraphobia

hello! im just looking for some kind words and maybe some resources or advice if you have them.

I was doing some reading and I think I might have agoraphobia. I always thought it was just fear of leaving your house like tv/movies make it out to be, but after reading more about it, all the symptoms of it fit me perfectly.. I always thought I couldn't have it because I can leave the house by myself, but only within a very small bubble and to very specific places without triggering a panic attack. I don't know why its so shocking to me that I probably have it since I show so many obvious signs of it, but it is and im trying not to have an anxiety attack about it rn 😅 I don't know, maybe it's the thought that I have something *else* wrong with me alongside the other mental conditions (gad, social anxiety, cptsd, depression) but being unable to fix them is just overwhelming or something.. my life is so screwed up by mental illness and I keep trying to fight against it but its so hard and so exhausting and my efforts seem to always be in vain. these things will just never go away and I have to live with them for the rest of my life..

anywho, im just so tired of everything and I wish my life wasn't such a struggle. thank you for listening, I can't really talk about this with anyone in my microscopic social circle, so I appreciate what you all do here and that you give people like me a space to talk and seek advice and comfort. thank you

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. Please know you're not alone.

I don't know if you've seen this, but you may be interested in this article on how to cope with agoraphobia. I'm going to copy paste an excerpt that you might find particularly useful:

Stay where you are – try to resist the urge to run to a place of safety during a panic attack; if you're driving, pull over and park where it's safe to do so.

Focus – it's important for you to focus on something non-threatening and visible, such as the time passing on your watch, or items in a supermarket; remind yourself the frightening thoughts and sensations are a sign of panic and will eventually pass.

Breathe slowly and deeply – feelings of panic and anxiety can get worse if you breathe too quickly; try to focus on slow, deep breathing while counting slowly to 3 on each breath in and out.

Challenge your fear – try to work out what it is you fear and challenge it; you can achieve this by constantly reminding yourself that what you fear is not real and will pass.

Creative visualisation – during a panic attack, try to resist the urge to think negative thoughts, such as "disaster"; instead, think of a place or situation that makes you feel peaceful, relaxed or at ease: once you have this image in your mind, try to focus your attention on it.

Do not fight an attack – trying to fight the symptoms of a panic attack can often make things worse; instead, reassure yourself by accepting that although it may seem embarrassing and your symptoms may be difficult to deal with, the attack is not life threatening.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[caestusvulpes]

The thing I'm most interested in exploring with part2kari is her intense self hatred and grapple with both her humanity and mental health, comparing and contrasting what having a support system can do for someone struggling vs. not having one, and soooo many more themes. If you thought dckari was fucked up in the head oh my god dude you don't even know the half of it.

A lot of key differences involve doing things alone for most of her life. Wandering as a vampire, living off what animals she could catch and even sometimes stealing blood from hospitals when she needed it, keeping all those negative emotions bottled up so she didn't deliberately hurt anyone with immense willpower, ect. She didn't have her Stand, so she was alone even in her darkest moments-- not even having a fighting spirit to guide her or aid her when needed. She went into Soft Cell completely alone, endured its trials alone, and took a lifetime from Sinclair alone, and felt the sun on her skin for the first time in 3 years alone. She cut herself off from her family out of shame of what she'd become, even if she had no say in the how, why, or what. This amount of isolation is crushing for someone who's only 21. LaBrie haunted her memories as the vampire who turned her, and no amount of searching for vampires' origins could give her any information besides a handful of occult books she studied in local libraries at night as a drifter, or one odd isolated case in England fifty years prior where, allegedly, there was an undead onslaught in a small town.

Where partflexible hikari had things happen to her in a similarish fashion ( attacked by labrie twice, turning into a vampire for three years, developing her stand after a short illness post first-labrie, soft cell's entire shit ) she HAD people. She knew people. She had Tenmei and Yukako and Astrid and Sadzi and whoever else she met along the way that lead her away from destructive impulses and within six years of being around she has a stable career as a Stand user agent in the Foundation within a wonderful community.

part2kari doesn't have that support. She left home just shy of 18 to be independent, was turned for her trouble, and apent those 3 years researching what had become of her, and how to cure it. Nearly obsessively. She succeeded at the cost of a part of her she'll never get back. Soft Cell shows someone their worst possible traumas to soldier through and claim their cure, and this mental torture was what claimed so many lives for the Stand to draw on. Hikari persevered out of sheer force of will, even as her body slowly lost the curse as she progressed. By the final chamber, she was weak, exhausted, and in pain. Hikari hadn't felt legitimately fatigued in the whole time she was a vampire, and here she was, clutching the wispy and intangible chains of gold pierced through her heart and panting and sweaty, feeling her fangs piercing her bottom lip as she tried to fight and not keel over from the sheer oppressive weight in that room.

And then, release. She's outside, stepping out from under the trees all by herself and no one to share in that victory with. It feels remarkably hollow as she stands there, hand encased in light and not searing in agony. Why don't I feel better? This should have fixed me.

I have a lot of thoughts abt her.

[mimiatmidnight]

We need more side to side collages of headlines about Diana and the Sussexes but even with many examples out there that family's supporters still lie and say the monarchy has never tried to destroy those perceived as a threat to its successful continuity. Same papers, same exact shit with the added bonus of 1)monetizing racist hate 2)disrespecting Diana in death by bashing her son's family with a fabricated version of her. This is what I meant by imo Harry should address his cult female following. That blog would call him my Harry. I can't believe my Harry is a dad, my Harry married well, my Harry is leaving, my Harry destroyed my heart, how can my Harry do this to me. Literally what the fuck? Who the fuck are you? Of course she's friends with the neutrals. You know, the people that follow the Waleses but "can't see anything that points to them leaking, only genuine criticism is given here", dislike Diana because "she showed many signs of undiagnosed mental illness and was a cheater too so why hate Charles and Camilla only", liked Doria because "she's so elegant and classy" (oh, the racism here makes me shiver), tried to support Meghan but "what a bitch to say Kate would be defended, she should just work more and ignore the papers". She showed some promising signs but I have to wonder if that only happened out of self insert fantasies. All I can say is refusal to examine one's own bias is so dangerous and disgraceful.

Does the toxic harry girlies realize it's okay for harry to say his family has wronged him??? And that the brf are humans who have a right to be mad at each other??? Or did we all collectively forget the whole 'it's okay to challenge your family when they hurt you' message tumblr loves so much

---

I see Harry-Sussex blog still delusional as ever glad she still blocked 🚫. I still think she may need to talk to someone

---

Man I used to follow that blog and I liked her until the H&M exit announcement and she got so angry at Harry, it was ridiculous. Went to the blog a couple of months ago to see what's up and it seemed like she completely stopped blogging about M who she supposedly liked before. Those harry girls are weird as hell

---

Thank you all for these thoughts! Suffice to say, there are some real weirdos around these parts, peddling some extremely disturbing sentiments. Everyday I wake up and thank the human race for inventing the block button 🙏🏻

Now let's end this discussion here, because there's no point in continuing to exhaust mental or emotional capital on that group. We think they're freaks, they think we're freaks, and the best part is neither of us have to cross paths with the other ever again :)

[ashtraysystem]

its okay to focus solely on my mental health and school. its okay to focus solely on my mental health and school. its okay to focus solely on my mental health and school.

I do not need to please anyone by working outside of my comfort areas and pushing myself too hard just to please others. The only thing that matters is my well being. If it is something I don't feel comfortable doing I can say no. How they choose to deal with it is not my problem. The consequences of me saying no do not matter. It is not my problem. It doesn't matter what may happen to others based on me respecting myself and my own boundaries. It is not my problem if they can't find a work around. Me saying no is the same outcome if they had never asked me at all. I am not a disappointment for saying no and respecting myself and my needs. I am not a bad person for knowing my limits.

It is okay. It is okay. It is okay.

I do what I can and that is okay. If something is outside of what I feel comfortable doing I do not have to do it, even if it makes other people upset. I am not any less of a good person for listening to myself and my needs. I am not obligated to help. I am not obligated to be my mother's therapist or her personal helper at her work. I am allowed to say no to her. I am allowed to say no to mom. I am allowed to say no to mom. I am allowed to say no to mom. It is not my fault nor my problem if she gets overwhelmed by work. It is something she has taken upon herself. I do not need to try to mitigate her emotional responses.

She knows I don't like working at the elementary level, regardless of class type. The only reason I did it that one time was because it was a class size of 5 kids that I had to watch for half a day. And even those kids were exhausting. Elementary children want your attention 24/7. Split your attention between 20+ students and it starts to become a splitting headache. I cannot handle every little problem that crops up at the elementary level. Middle and high can practically take care of themselves, which is why I feel comfortable with them. I can give certain students special attention when needed, and nobody grasps at my attention. I can have conversations about real things with them. Elementary schoolers are disgusting. There's too many bodily fluids that go on. Ones that I'm not comfortable or confident dealing with.

Grade schools are just cesspools of diseases, and in my compromised state I am more likely to get some sort of illness that will put me out even more than I have been with my mental health.

It is okay to say no for selfish reasons. It is okay to say no for Selfish reasons. It is Okay to say No for Selfish Reasons. It Is Okay To Say No For Selfish Reasons.

[munku-collar]

admetus or demeter for the bingo :o i love hearing all your hot takes, and i must say i agree with pretty much all of them. why is this fandom so weird when it comes to, well, everyone????

Admetus/Plato is mwah I love looking at him, he's gorgeous and I love seeing him he's just so sweet and interesting and also a little bit of a cheeky bastard and all of that just kind of gets erased by people to make him really stupid or once again to take a photo of him and put it on a dart board to pick a random partner to ship him with. Let the poor boy EXIST

Me being Demeter kin is literally in my blog description so unsurprisingly my opinions fall in 'that is literally me and no one understands me the way i do,' and that I guess means the 'mentally ill' and 'project my issues' sections count for this one though it's less projecting and me recognizing shared traits and expanding upon them. I can't STAND how most of the fandom interprets demeter.

Either she's portrayed as wimpy and demure and in need of rescue, also much like bomba, honestly MORESO, has her sexuality and hotness erased CONSTANTLY(making designs for her without lipstick while bomba gets to keep hers, dressing her in jeans and sneakers or frumpy clothes while bomba gets to wear cute outfits, making her extremely self conscious about her appearance when she literally leads the most sexual song in the show and feels herself up), or she is cut out of characters' stories to make room for gay ships. The amount of people that ship every Macavity ship under the sun EXCEPT for Demecavity will be the reason I end up in jail for manslaughter one day. Fucking double standard.

Stop fucking erasing women from stories and stop ignoring their canon traits. Deme is confident and brave as well as anxious and loving. Women can be more than one thing at a time!!! She attacked Macavity first and is a happy member of the jellicle community. And I swear the next person I catch disrespecting her will get slaughtered on sight

But yes anon I just...don't understand why the fandom has a hard time viewing characters as complete people. Part of me thinks its because many fans are young and so they simply don't think so much about it, but it's super frustrating for me because I've been in fandom circles since I was 14 and I've always done my best to be faithful to characterization and consider all the details of a character if I'm going to make content for them. I don't understand the appeal of twisting a character so far that they're unrecognizable for the sake of a ship or anything else. Like what's the point then? Make an OC instead. And it's equally frustrating to see the people who do make content that resembles canon or delves deeper into character exploration get ignored in favor of crack content or nonsensical headcanons. It happens in every fandom and it's exhausting. This is why I make things for myself and for the most part ignore everything else.

[daegulinekush]

Just a random Yoongi piece

Words: 685

“Min Yoongi is not a talker” it’s what many had warned her about.

He’s not the type to talk a lot or generally make a lot of reactions. He’s chill, the kind of guy who does his thing in silence and doesn’t bother others.

When she met him, she hadn’t expected much. With his calm aura and careful eyes, with the way he stood in a corner, simply listening intently. She had simply known from the start he was an introvert. It didn’t take a master's degree to realize such a thing, honestly.

What people never seemed to figure out is that she herself is not exactly the most extroverted person either. Sure, she’s loud parties and crowds of people, she’s talkative and dramatic by nature, an entertainer. She’s what you would describe an extrovert to be and she won’t deny she’s as typical as an ENTP could get, really.

But at heart, she remains an analyser. She needs her week of peace and doing nothing while cozy after days of loud, ambiguous people she interacts with. She needs her peace and nobody can rip her out of her home when her battery decides to die. Sometimes, she’ll need her stupid walks and interactions with people for her mental health. Other times, she’ll feel entirely drained after one text and will ghost everyone.

Everybody loves to say an extrovert will always adopt introverts, but never seem to realize the reason behind that is the extrovert isn’t as extroverted as people would believe.

As someone surrounded by introverts, she did fit the stereotype. But it also meant she knew better than to believe anyone saying an introvert is quiet.

Introverts are anything but quiet, in all honesty. They just need a safe space and person they can vent to.

That she so happens to be that person is a mere coincidence.

So no, Min Yoongi is not quiet. No, he doesn’t talk little. In fact, he doesn’t shut up. She loves him dearly for that.

Yes, she will be the one having the awkward interactions with new people. She will be the person making the phone calls and keeping tabs on their friends’ lives. She will schedule meetings and places and just do the stuff that costs of socializing.

But Yoongi is not quiet. She will randomly say something about a subject and he’ll talk for hours about it and switch to others too. She’ll off handedly comment men are exhausting and he’ll engage into a discussion about patriarchal societies and how much bullshit they consist of. She’ll whine about how art is exhausting and he’ll make her rethink her whole life with a session of how mental illnesses are more prone in artists because nobody who doesn’t suffer in this life could understand its lows and highs better and how stupid it is that many artists are appreciated just after they’re not alive anymore.

It truly fits them, somehow. The way they’re both analysts and forever learn from each other.

Yet, it doesn’t make it less annoying to hear of her Yoongi supposedly not being a talker.

He is. The others just don’t know how to fucking listen.

It also annoys her how he’s a walking encyclopedia, while also making her endeared. She feels boring even compared to him.

And then, will come the intimacy.

“Yoongi is not a moaner” will be something everyone who’s been with him would tell her.

And she’ll have yet again to disagree. Because with her, Yoongi is reactive.

Maybe it’s not in the ways others would expect, with loud moans and groans. But it’s the way his breath stutters. It’s the way his limbs twitch. It’s the way his pupils dilate and the way he hides his face at her neck and the squeeze of his fingers.

It’s things that are so natural and she cherishes so much. Things that bring more intimacy, things that make her feel closer to him.

And so, everyone could say anything they wish of him, but she knows better.

Knows better how sweet he is. He just needs a little bit of time.

[qui-qui-quee]

Thoughts Are Fleeting (Post-Duty Stream of Consciousness)

There’s a good reason I’ve barely been writing, barely been journaling lately. Because I’ve seen a consistent pattern of feeling one thing, thinking one thing and then the next day, my outlook changes and the cycle repeats itself.

“You lack conviction” One might say. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s not. It really depends on the topic. There are a few things that I remain steadfast in, including my faith in Christ, my love of art (regardless how intense or faint it gets), and whatnot. But meanwhile, I sit here writing all this in my condo unit, trying to mentally assess all the events I went through for the past two months while I was in face-to-face hospital duty.

For those who don’t know (since I rarely post here anyway), I was working in the wards of our teaching hospital as the final hurdle of our medical education. Needless to say, it was the busiest I’d ever been in...well ages. Twelve and 24-hour duties, constant monitoring of patients, participating in surgical operations and bonding or clashing with my groupmates (I didn’t have much of the latter though, thank God), it was a lot to take in and so my thoughts and my feelings were mostly put in the back burner (minus the times I went through emotional breakdowns from exhaustion and stress). As always, I was questioning my choices, doubting myself, you know the usual from your neurodivergent, possibly mentally-ill individual. All the masking, creating social energy just to talk to peers and superiors. all the works.

I’m not even sure what else there is to say as I write all this. My stream of consciousness is once again beginning to wane but perhaps that’s because I choose not to share the deeper thoughts that’s been echoing in my head for...quite some time now, and has probably contributed to my lack of initiative when it comes to human relationships and interactions and social behavior. Anyway I won’t go any further than that, seeing how this is a public space and though I intend to be talking to a void, I know I still have a bit of an audience here.

Anyway.

Medicine is hard guys. And yet it was during this time that I appreciated being and working with people again. You all have no idea how much I missed spending time with folks other than my family members and now that we’re back to online (heck we’re not even doing anything as we speak), I’m feeling some slight pseudo separation anxiety because of how abrupt our clerkship duties ended. I got to know my groupmates more, saw both their flaws and strengths (and they saw mine). It’s just...boy this COVID business has made so many things difficult. I still feel like a fish out of water, a baby giraffe just starting out on its legs. Two months simply isn’t enough and I don’t even know if I’ve completely settled on becoming a doctor past boards.

And what about now? What am I to do now? I have comprehensive exams that everyone else but me is getting anxious about. I’m doing what I can to study but it I’ve learned that there are many things that are simply out of my control and sadly it might be contributing to a sense of learned helplessness I’d developed from the past (yes I think I need a therapist and have yet to find one). 

And loss. Loss is something I’m so used to I think I’ve become numb to it. It all started with high school, even middle school when close friends would leave the country, then my entire HS barkada left after graduation leaving me behind, then there’s losing my cousin to some unknown illness, so...it really became easy for me to let go of relationships if it seemed like the other wasn’t meeting me halfway.

Why am I being this honest here? I dunno. Maybe because no one else feels right to talk to and even if I did have a therapist, it feels too formal of a setting. I know God can read exactly what I’m saying. After all, doesn’t He know what I need before I even get to say or figure it out?

Anyway my stream of consciousness is starting to feel forced so I’m gonna end my thoughts here. Keep me in your prayers, folks. Thank you.