#its my life so i hyperfocus when it comes up

[scoobydoozombieisland1998]

at this point its ethans dogs like he has said he doesnt train them and im just like bro please just because they are small doesnt mean you can do that hasans dog is a lot better trained shes just a puppy though so it makes more sense

no definitely, hasan is a very good dog owner by my extreme pet care industry veteran standards and i certainly dont think ethan is a bad owner, but when it comes to introducing dogs/letting them interact freely its not about who is better trained its just a total behavior thing, and its really unfair to expect any dogs, especially small ones, to have measured emotional reactions when they have no idea whats going on, nor is it fair to let dogs police each other particularly when they dont know each other. ive just worked in daycare for too long to have that much trust in dogs social skills without handlers setting them up for success individually

ethans also funny cause he does have an understanding of stuff like barrier frustration regarding leashes but he trusts dogs to be chill too much

i dont ACTUALLY care that much, i dont think anyones in danger and i think kaya is way too chill of a dog to be meaningfully negatively affected by a little ritualized aggression from a yorkie(? idk i only listen while i work) partly bc hasan has been doing a good job from what i can see raising her to be a well adjusted dog

my only quibble is with the language and rhetoric they use when they talk about it. we have to Leftify dog training. its not about showing dominance its about insecurity.... just like in people who wouldve thought! if a dog feels safe and secure it wont react like that

TLDR: more nuance to dog stuff than dominance

[turbulentscrawl]

Could I get an Aesop, Norton and Kevin with a S/O who gets turned into a hunter because they learned too much? Like. Their Significant other was always very enthusiastic about discovering secrets and stuff, and they started acting off because they discovered something BAD. And within a month or so. They moved officially to the hunter manor? 🙏

If that's too much, feel free to ignore or decline!

I put my own spin on this, i hope you don't mind! This is SFW but going under the cut because it plays into the horror aspect of the game. Also, I don't have the time to whip up a kevin header currently and don't have the patience to wait on posting this....so I'll get his made and added later!

Warnings: body horror, angst

The worst part of it all is that you can’t even remember the reason for it all.

You were a seeker, a searcher, always nosing into places and subjects you didn’t belong. You craved to know the world’s secrets and that included the manor’s. You spent long hours, days, weeks, investigating the manor’s records, the histories of its inhabitants, obtaining the aid of…some horrific woman. A veritable snake. She told you something. Something bad…. Something that ruined you from the inside out, necrosing its way through every cell.

The changes come slowly at first, and painfully. Your muscles and joints would ache. Your head would throb. Your bones would move on their own, shifting and stretching inside your tearing meat. You drowned in darkness, and suffocated in blinding lights. The worst moments of your life came to you again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again!

And when all the pain finally melted away, you were different. The friendly faces around you were once your enemies. Your own face was that of a lion, and the original of it staring back was the clueless lamb.

Aesop

-He showed little interest in your “search for answers.” He wants to understand everything better too, true, but even the detective sorts among you had found few answers. Orpheus, Alice, Naib…. No offense to you, of course, I’m just saying he wasn’t be holding his breath….

-But far be it from this recluse to stop you. He of all people understands what it means to hyperfocus on your work. Work is familiarity, truth, and on some level he can imagine how a tangled mystery might be as comfortable to you as a corpse is to him. They both reveal truths in indirect ways.

-Because of your busybody separation from one another during this time, he likely doesn’t notice the changes right away. He probably finds out from someone else about the aches and pains you’ve been having, the sweats, fever, and all without a match in the records to explain them away. People didn’t get sick in the manor, yet somehow you inexplicably were.

-Then you sleep. For days. You’re still enough that Aesop almost feels like he’s watching over one of his 'normal' patients, like he should be doing your makeup. He’s calm, but checks for your pulse and breathing a lot. That’s when he notices you crying in your sleep.

-And things only go downhill from there. Aesop is generally level-headed, but there’s something about your aura that begins to disturb him. He refuses to leave, to abandon you when something is obviously wrong, but you go more and more still under his watchful eyes. You stop breathing, your skin goes pallid, but blood is still hot in your veins—he gives your thumb a pinprick to be sure of it. Your pillow is always wet because you won’t stop silently crying.

-On a whim one day, he decides to check your eyes. He collapses to the ground when he realizes the sockets are empty and raw. He runs from your room then, and when Emily returns to investigate your body is gone.

-The next day, you return in perfect condition. Healthy, though confused, and with no memory of that last several weeks of pain. You both had a match the next day, and Aesop decided he would focus on protecting you above anything else.

-But the Hunter was new. Eerie, unspeaking, blind…and cried ceaselessly. Aesop was frozen in genuine fear when the other you lumbered by him, choking on pained sobs, perhaps in search of your old peace.

Norton

-He told you from the beginning that it was a bad idea. Norton was not an educated man but he had sense—and experience—enough to know when paranormal shit was not to be trifled with. He still had nightmares about that eye….

-But you went on ahead with your business anyway. He let you, albeit while watching his back a whole lot more. Isolating. Swallowing his dread. You remind him of his mistakes before you even make them.

-He doesn’t think much of your first symptoms. Norton gets sore sometimes, and feels ill. The Black Lung never did leave him, and some days he handles it worse than others. You have nothing like that, though, and after several days of persisting discomfort he remembers that fact and sends you to Emily. She’s as perplexed as him though, and that makes him feel even more nervous.

-He also doesn’t notice for a while that you’ve stopped talking about your search entirely. He asks you about it once, when he catches you staring at the wall in a daze, and feels like a knife pierces his lung when you say you don’t have the faintest clue what he’s talking about.

-He keeps catching you like that. Paralyzed in a particular spot. Watching things, unblinking. When you come to, you don’t remember what you were doing. Your memory starts go slip away like Luca’s does, but somehow it’s more severe. You remember who you are, who he is, but everything else is gone. Some evenings he practically has to spoon feed you dinner because the concept of silverware and food have escaped you.

-Paranoid of what it all means, Norton starts to stay with you at night. But he gets no sleep during those times because all night you moan in pain. When Norton wraps his arms around you for comfort, he wears he feels your muscles twisting and undulating under your skin.

-Norton does not remember the last time he’s screamed, but he did the day after you finally seemed better. After he finally started to relax again. He was decoding in the top floor of the hospital when he heard that familiar moaning coming from below. He freezes at the sound, and when he looks over his shoulder he sees a twisted, stretched figure crawling up through the gaping hole in the floor. He knows the hair, the voice, but nothing else is you.

-And he screams, backed up against the cipher like a cornered animal. Never in his life has he not tried to run for his life, but when this Hunter of you locks eyes with him he can’t. He can’t run from what he didn’t fight harder against. Even when facing Fool’s Gold—himself—he’s never felt so much like a failure.

Kevin

-He’s always known he lacks your foresight. Kevin can’t begin to suspect the truth of things like this place. The sprawling vastness of it, he doesn’t trust himself to comprehend the complexity, the darkness. But you? Well, even if this it all a bit eerie, he’s got faith in your intelligence.

-He plays closer attention to you than the other two. The second you start to look off, he tasks notice. He sees the obsession in your face, the dark bags under your eyes, the way your nose digs deeper into things than before. You become…pushier with people.

-Kevin suggests you take a break, but you wave him off. You’re onto something, you say, and just need a little more understanding before everything unravels. He doesn’t like that word. “Unravel.”

-Which is perhaps a premonition, because it’s a great word to describe what happens to you. When you’re awake—and you are awake for irrationally long hours—you seem positively mad. You whisper to yourself in words that don’t sound human. He catches “Hastur” among them a few times, and “Witch” but once again his own comprehension fails.

-And when you sleep, you scream. The fist few nights it happened, he and a few others came running from down the hall and roused you. You didn’t remember the terrors. Night after night it happened, the response dwindling until it was just Kevin abandoning his own sleep to help you from whatever was terrifying you in your sleep.

-Then, you stopped waking up. He tried everything! Water, those smelling salts Emily had. Nothing would wake you and you just kept screaming, screaming, screaming like you were being dissected in your bed. After three days of not sleeping himself, Kevin carried your thrashing form to the infirmary. He was horrified when Emily suggested restraining and gagging you, but he had no other ideas himself. He slept in the chair nearby for what felt like weeks.

-And one day it all stopped. Kevin woke up, cracked his stiff neck, and noticed you were gone from your restraints. Emily was as confused as he was, but before the panic could build you emerged from your own bedroom, right as rain.

-He pulled you aside and cried in your arms until he passed out himself.

-The next match, though, started his own series of nightmares. Only a few minutes in he heard that scream. That blood-curdling wail that had been seared into his memory. It paralyzed him, and everyone else, on the spot. And then the vestige of your suffering appeared. Dark, shivering, voice raw and pained. The new Hunter that rounded the corner was undeniably you, and Kevin was sure he’d never know another peaceful day again.

[kayas-kosmos]

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.

[orcelito]

orcelito's trigun fic recs!

making this for @trigunfanfic's fic appreciation week! this is a nonexhaustive list & not in any particular order (aside from the smut fics, which i separated into another section). just a few fics i rly love & think should get more attention!!

so Here are the multichapters (some of which have smut, but it's not the focus):

someone to last your whole life by catchatter / @needlab7

this one is sooooooooooooooooooooooo 🥺 i was reading it as it was being released and MAN it drove me insane. every bit of the post-trimax love and healing i couldve ever wanted. genuinely one of my fav trigun fics. it's just so well written & evocative. it really does feel like Vash and Wolfwood... and just. aughghghgh im gonna have to reread it sometime bc it truly is something special

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples) by neatrogenous / @floofyfluff

this is the other post-trimax fic that Changed My Life. i read it all in one go in one euphoric hyperfocus. i felt every emotion known to mankind. it is just. slkdfjsldfjlskdfj god. i adore how Vash is written here. both of them, really. it just feels so much like them. someday, i will reread this one Too...

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi (on both ao3 and tumblr)

god. what to say about this one. honestly i have never watched Demon Slayer so going into this fic i was missing that context, but i never felt like i was actually missing out on much. Allen does such a fantastic job at bringing u into the world without having to know anything about it at all. i LOOOOVE demon vash sooo much. so very much. im a little behind on updates rn sldfsdfkj but im excited to catch back up bc everything about this au is just Sooooo fun. everyone potentially interested in Demon Vash should read this. Do it. Right Now. 🥺 pls

Trillium and Ivy by @shastafirecracker (on both ao3 and tumblr)

AUGHHHHHH omfg this one was one of the first fics i read for trigun, and MAN it really set a high bar for me. im a little picky when it comes to modern aus, but this one is just so.... WONDERFUL... i read the entire thing in the first half of my day one day and spent the rest of my day in a fugue state. it was just SO SO SO good. i recently reread it and even having read it before, it was just as wonderful to read. realistic relationship development, compelling Saverem drama, all of it. it's also probably my favorite fic for the depiction of Vash's injury & recovery. the first time i read it i was just blown away by how realistic it felt, right down to the trauma memories of watching bargain bin movies while he was stuck in bed. honestly i could rant for forever about this one lol. it truly is special.

and RELATED TO THAT,,,

Wildflowers, also by ShastaFirecracker

i actually didnt know these 2 fics were written by the same person at first lol. Wildflowers got linked in my trigun server & i checked it out bc Fuck Yeah trans wolfwood. and then had my world just blown away. it's SUCH a good fic, & i really am such a sucker for fantasy au. and i was just absolutely gushing about how realistic the depiction of trans wolfwood was even before i finished the fic. SUCH a great fic. so imagine my surprise & delight when i went back to reread Trillium and Ivy and realized -- OH FUCK, it's by the SAME PERSON !!! such beautiful writing, For Real. i really do love these 2 fics.

Sun, Moon, and Stars by tragic_unpaired_electron (can't find a tumblr link on the fic or ao3 profile, so if anyone knows them feel free to share this with them pls !!)

WOW LOOK it's a fic that doesnt have VW as the main focus!!! unfortunately the only one of those on this list (i May be a tad predictable...), & it really earned its place here. it's just such a fascinating fic that answers the question of What If Tesla Survived? i adore the exploration of her strengths and struggles, as well as her sibling relationship with Knives and Vash. it's so INTERESTING, and it gets into the meat of fighting for the rights of Independent Plants (and plants in general) and just. man. i read this and wanted to devote my life to one Tesla Saverem. she is so precious and hard-headed and SUCH a good big sister. pls do read it, it's such a lovely fic

and NOW...

onto the smut fics lol.

there are Plenty of very good smut fics around, but these are the ones that really stuck with me. either for being Different than the norm, or just being very... well. ya kno lol.

dont worry about the picture this paints of me lmfaoooo

you'll never get enough by tagteamme / @phaltu

AGHHHHHHHHH oh my god this fic made me FEEL things. it's a boxer / gym au, and MAN does it do it well. u get the sweaty gym setting, u get the homoeroticism & horny pining, u get the blatant masochism that drives them both... im just obsessed with it. that stove scene is going to stay with me For Life. & the smut is of course VERY good, but the Vibes... oh the Vibes are so impeccable. obsessed.

there is a season for all things by SolidShrimp (cant find their tumblr on the fic/profile, but i Know ive seen them on tumblr 🤔 if anyone knows their url, pls do me a favor and send this to them!)

THIS ONE.......................... man. man. man. man. like i know xeno is The Average for fandom vash, except the normal flower "plantussy" doesnt really do much for me. im too much of a monster fucker for that i guess. it's not BAD, just not particularly exciting. this, though? now, THIS one left an impression. ive already gushed about it to the writer in the comments of the first fic (havent kept up with the sequel fics, tho i really should catch back up sometime) so i'll keep it brief here. just. such an UTTERLY delightful inhuman vash portrayal, to the point where his reproductive biology is just plain incompatible with Wolfwood & Meryl's (oh yeah, it's mashwood, which is WONDERFUL...). wolfwood and meryl are in over their head trying to figure out how to get vash off in his own way, but they do their Absolute Best!!! it's just rly sweet and i adore the way the writer went Full Ham into the inhuman aspects. utterly delightful.

Kick me once again, and say we'll never part by epsilontauri (doesn't look like they're on tumblr? there's just a link to their twitter on the fic. but if anyone knows them, feel free to send this to them!)

this one is. so. very. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok i will be honest this is probably my favorite vw smut. and it's barely even smut. the sequel is definitely much more sex, but this one is. well. it's some extreme, dangerous, and barely negotiated S&M. as the saying goes, it's neither Safe Or Sane, but it sure is consensual! it's just so. well looking at just the tags sure does reveal it. horrible coping, it's an intense fic, but it's just so.......... DELIGHTFUL........... i really really really love fics that stick to their guns like this. and i love how even though Wolfwood had a GREAT time, we get to see how it kinda freaked Vash out (he did Not like hurting Wolfwood), so the sequel is good for a fic where they're both genuinely having lots of fun. this one is actually rather not fun for Vash. but it's just. it's about the Extremity of it. the Possessiveness. pushing someone to their absolute limits!!!!!!!!! this is another fic that i rambled in the comments about bc. yeah. yeah. it's. just trust me. if ur into fucked up dudes being fucked up dudes, this is the fic for you.

& OKAY i think that's my list. again, it's nonexhaustive, but ive had enough typing i think lol

hope u guys enjoy the recs 🥺

[stopxplease]

so uh i just realized how much of a BANGER Maps by Maroon 5 was and also realized its very jovier core

hear me out girlies

john misses the gang not for what they did, but for the sweeter things like the conversations they used to have.

while john is searching for "a song", he is "changing the stations" to find it. the song he is referring to can be taken literally as a song javier used to sing, or can be taken as being javier himself.

at the time, the gang was the best thing to happen to john and living free and on the run could be seen as having it all to him, especially when they were 'fighting for the greater good'.

when john gets shot off the train during the train robbery in chapter 6, he comes back to the gang and says to dutch "you left me to die", but frequently throughout the first game he says javier also left him to die, which would mean he feels betrayed by javier for not sticking up for him in that moment and siding with dutch, thus running away from him.

throughout the game, during most of the campfire talks where javier opens up about some very personal stories, john is usually there for them and listens to javier. john and javier also seemed to be very close, drinking with each other, and doing lots of things together. buts its obvious by the events of rdr1 that john's feelings for javier have switched dramatically.

john's worst can be seen as either when he gets shot off the train or when he goes to prison. either way hes still bitter about having trusted javier to have his back.

honestly, this line kinda confused me on how it might work with jovier because im very dumb, but i think it could reference how john feels like javier is stuck in the past, and the road javier is taking is coming back to john in a way, because now that john is being forced to capture or kill javier, it has come back to them.

its a literal map john is using to find javier, or could be the map they "drew to a better place", which could be seen as their life together if they werent outlaws.

(btw there is only one real line i wanna talk about after the chorus so wawomp)

john is hearing javier's voice like how he hears the camp noises if you go back to the previous camps during the epilogue.

the temptation is him wanting to stay with javier and running away together.

the "strange" thing coming over john could be how he is being forced to hyperfocus on javier.

and now john cannot get over the fact that he doesnt know why javeir left him to die.

sorry if this is absolute hogwash, its like 1am, i did not proofread this, and i just wanted to quickly ramble about my babies.

[howhow326]

What if I reworked the Miraculous Powers Part 2: Zodiac Boogaloo

(Part one here)

Unlike the Yinyang/Wu Xing miraculous, the big problem woth the Zodiac miraculous is that some of them are waaay overtuned while the rest are situational. So my solution is to make all of them situational! The Pig miraculous has an amazing power, fight me. Because most of these miraculous fit the idea I have for them, Ill only focus on the ones that need a change.

Mouse miraculous of Multiplication

Multitude: Stays exactly the same, I love this superpower!

Ox miraculous of Determination

Resistance: I previously changed the Ladybug miraculous so it can counter every other miraculous, which makes this miraculous kind of redundant... but I can't think of a better power, so I guess it stays?

Tiger miraculous of Elation

Clout: The user roars with exhilarating energy, forcing the target(s) of their choosing to focus on them. (Who's bright idea was it to make this thing a Black Cat knock off? At least the Goat miraculous is used differently than the Ladybug, but the Tiger and Cat have the same job of destroying stuff!) (So Juleka's whole character arc is that she wants to come out of her shell and she wanst her dad to see her so, maybe invisibility isn't a good power for her miraculous fandom:/ Anyway, the new power is just a video game taunt, forcing enemies to hyperfocus on Juleka. You can even give her some rockstar style roars to tie that into her identity)

Rabbit miraculous of Evolution

Rabbit Hole: The user rewinds their pocket watch a set number of times to travel back in time for 5 minutes. During the 5 minutes, the user can change events in the past which is guaranteed to change events in the present. The user can also choose to go back to their time period during the 5 minutes, and if they don't they will become stuck in the past because this power cannot travel to the future outside of resetting itself during it's 5 minutes. (That paragraph up there is the only way I knew to nerf this dang thing because I couldn't think of a new rabbit based power that dosen't step on another miraculous toes. WTF. Where do I even begin. Why is the shows Rabbit miraculous so incredibly different from every other power??? Why does it get its own Doctor Who room? Why does it not have a time limit and NO I do not accept that nonsense, timey whimy answer! Just why time travel in general???? I just, oof. Anyway, the rabbit miraculous is now used the same way Marinette used it during the season 4 finale, we need to do one thing in the past to save the future and then we go back to our time. Doing anything else is going to cause a paradox)

Dragon miraculous of Perfection(the name needs to be changed but I can't think of one that relates to the weather powers)

Wind/Water/Lightning Dragon: Sigh, ok this miraculous is what I mean when I say overturned. You can change into an element, you can control an element, and you can do it 3 times in a row??? No, the Dragon miraculous power let's you control one of three elements and then it goes on cool down. No using 3 powers in a row unless you're mature.

Snake miraculous of Intuition

Future Vision: it's literally a rip off of Garnet's power from SU. The user winds up their snake bracelet to play out different future scenarios in their head. These scenarios are life like to the user, but are not actually happening. (I like the idea that this miraculous seems like it's a psychic power when it's actually time travel, but time travel is waaay overpowered for a zodiac miraculous. Clairvoyance it is then)

Horse miraculous of Transportation

Voyage: The power gets you to your destination because it's a horse, get it? It's super lame, but I'll take it (at least this miraculous requires intelligence to use effectively, which matches its holder's personality. More than I can say for some other miraculous) (wait a minute this is the Miraculous of Migration now, wtf)

Goat miraculous of Passion Imagination

Genesis: Miraculous of Passion, dafaq??? Anyway, the power is still a discount of the Ladybug miraculous but it gets to stay for having a different function than the Ladybug power (I win button vs imagination power)

Monkey miraculous of Derision

Uproar: The power is a little op, but because of the changes I made to the Ladybug and Cat it shouldn't be too bad. (I like how this miraculous title foreshadowed that Kim is like low key a jerk.)

Rooster miraculous of Pretension

Sublimation: The user makes an impossible claim about one of the abilities they already possess, and the power makes that claim true for 5 minutes. (it was so easy to not make this thing broken, but the writer just had to use it as a lazy reason for why Hawkmoth can turn invisible! My reworked power works the way we all thought it did before season 5, it only effects physical abilities you already had. Kicking a ball into a goal is something you can already do, but with the rooster you can never miss a goal. This rework is still pretty powerful as far as zodiac miraculous go, but its no where near as bad as before)

Dog miraculous of Adoration

Fetch: Stays the same, it's not overtuned and it makes thematic sense for a dog hero.

Pig miraculous of Jubilation

Gift: Stays the same. F everyone who says its a bad power, its one of the best!

[legolasghosty]

For the au generator I got Scientist au and Enchanted Forest au! If you want to make it willex that’s a bonus 😊

@beencryingfor25years

Hiiii @beencryingfor25years, thanks for the ask!!! And of course I want to make it Willex, everything is Willex!

So! We have Willie, who is a really good chemist and researcher (Hey, that hyperfocus and need for answers has to be good for something, right?). He gets selected to be a part of a team to go in and study this massive forest (I have no clue where in the world) that seems to have some... odd properties.

Teams have been sent to research it before, but none have been able to get in, or they've been kinda insane when they come out, much later than they should have and never together. But it's been a few decades since someone tried, so time to sacrifice some more scientists to the scary forest in the name of research!

Willie is understandably freaked cause like... the only people who have been able to pass safely in and out of the forest are the indigenous people of the region, who tells some pretty wild stories about what lives in the wood. They range from giant monsters to pixies to robots to dinosaurs. Either way, everyone agrees that the forest is scary and to be respected at all costs.

The only reason Willie agrees to go is because his boss, Caleb (duh), says he has to in order to keep the business's assistance in paying off his student loans. Guess what, getting a doctorate isn't cheap...

So Willie, along with Julie (physics), Flynn (biology), Bobby (zoology), and Nick (geography/maps), goes off to wherever it is that the scary forest is. They are able to hire a local guide, who takes them into the forest (after telling some more terrifying stories). Unfortunately, they all get separated really fast.

Willie swears up and down that Julie only took three steps away from them and then he couldn't see her anymore. He couldn't see any of them. Nor was there any trace of the path they'd come down. It was like the forest itself had just swallowed him up.

They wander around for a bit, trying to find them, but suddenly run smack into someone else: a blond boy with twitchy hands and an odd, golden tint to his skin. Willie doesn't really understand the boy's response when he asks for a name, but the hums and clicks sound a bit like an Ah, then an Ex, so he goes with 'Alex' for simplicity's sake. Alex's sound for their name sounds more like We-Leh, but they both let the name butchering slide for the time being.

They kinda have to communicate without words for the most part, since Alex doesn't speak English and Willie doesn't speak whatever magical language Alex is using, but Alex shows Willie that the forest has a power of its own. It doesn't come from any battery or source, it just is. And it must be cared for and nurtured. That is why Alex and his people exist.

Initially, the plan of the magic folks had been to separate the mortals, show them a bit about the forest to see if they would respect it, and then probably capture them or drive them insane when they inevitably did what all mortals do: take and destroy. But Willie surprised Alex by actually showing respect for everything they were shown. Sure he didn't fully get it, but there was so much in the world that he knew he didn't get. He's a frigging chemist after all, there's so many unknowns that are just a part of his everyday life. So a magic forest maybe isn't as much of a stretch.

So Alex deems Willie safe to learn at least a bit more, and takes him back to the magic village. In my head, these folks are some mix of elves, fae, and dryads. There's also some variety, and multiple villages throughout the forest. There, Willie is startled and relieved to find Julie sitting beside a soft fire, beside another being like Alex, though this one shorter and with darker hair. The two seem to be communicating in melodies, humming bars back and forth instead of using words.

Julie is super happy to see Alex as well, and they have a lengthy discussion about what the heck is going on here. Bobby and Flynn also make it to the camp, though they are assured that Nick was deposited safely back with the local guide to go home. Apparently he didn't mean any harm, but also couldn't really wrap his head around the whole magic thing. It seemed safest for his health and the forest that he return home as soon as possible. The science gang decides that they're here to study the forest, so they might as well learn all they can. Respecting the things they study is essential to all of them, so they get along well with the Caretakers, as they've decided to call them.

Bobby has a massive shock a few days in though, because one of the Caretakers looks so much like his sister, Caroline. But that's impossible. She died when they were kids, in a car accident with their mom. But it is her. Part of the magic of the forest is that it gives new life to those who are lost, generally due to the fault of another. So Caroline, or Carrie as her name sounds in her magical voice now, is alive and well. The siblings are reunited!!!

Willie, meanwhile, spends a lot of their research time with Alex as their guide. He's good about warning them about what they can and can't take samples of, what is dangerous, and where the connections are between various life forms. He's also just a really nice person to hang out with. They start to learn each other's languages, mostly small words at first, but they learn. And as time passes, they grow closer. And Willie wonders if Alex would even know what he meant if he asked him on a date.

Apparently Caretaker courting is rather different from that of modern mortals. But they find a nice blend. It's not like Willie has anyone outside to go back to. So he mostly stays in the forest, learning and studying and being with Alex. The others come and go, they all have more family ties and stuff, but the forest takes them all in. It becomes their home.

Willie didn't know something like this was possible, and magic still doesn't make sense, but the feeling of Alex's hands in his and the way his heart races when the enter their new home for the first time can't be explained by science. It's magic, plain and simple.

Ack sorry about how long this got! Hope you enjoyed!!!

[ghostlycorvid]

2023 Introspective

This year started with cutting off a toxic person who had already shut me out of mutual friend spaces but kept stringing me along with "maybe in a few more months I'll let you back in". 2022 was rough on its own, especially pre-antidepressants, but a huge part of it was stuff involving this person. Blocking them and finally accepting that it was not worth trying to repair what little relationship was left was the most freeing thing I've ever done and helped me to continue that with any other rude unpleasant individual I've had to share spaces with. It's been genuinely wonderful to realize I don't have to sit there and listen to bad takes or people who are needlessly mean, so I'm glad something came out of that friendship nightmare scenario.

It still took a lot of time to not sit there in anger and frustration spirals over the way things ended up, but in February I got permission from my bosses to bring my dog Chili to work with me due to needing to keep him and our other dog from playing while she was recovering from her spay. I ended up realizing that even though Chili is a huge anxiety baby, having him with me legitimately was helping distract me from negative thoughts spirals and gave me something positive to focus on when I was getting frustrated by work-related stuff in the moment. He ended up helping a couple coworkers come down from panic attacks later in the year too. My boss likes how "calm" he is enough that he gave me permission to bring Chili to work all the time (within reason), so he's come with me on most non-event days. His progress has been slow, but he's also been improving from the regular socialization!

I finally started to really focus on my own art and developing my own products and designs, both for my personal shop and for the shop at work. I've come out the other side of this year with 9 new enamel pin designs between the two! (A couple I haven't shared yet! ;D)

I was finally given an Adderall prescription which magically solved my problem where I couldn't stay awake during the day no matter how much sleep I'd gotten! And also it started helping me focus a little better too, but genuinely the non-sleepy thing was the most lifechanging part of the medication for me. The pit in my stomach when I was told that person felt like I was stalking and surveilling them if I was quiet in a call or stream despite years of me communicating that I was constantly struggling to even stay conscious was... HOO BOY. After years of fighting for my life to stay awake in college and sometimes even while DRIVING TO AND FROM WORK,,,,,,,, I really thought something was seriously wrong with me (besides the ADHD since I didn't realize it was a symptom of that)

With toxic people removed from my social spaces and general perception, I've finally started to join group calls with my friends again without anxiety or fear of not being welcome. It's helped me start to get back into playing games again, and I've been able to get into a few that either have built in accessibility features to avoid hand strain, or I've been able to modify my hardware setup to help with issues I was running into before. I've finally managed to pick up Warframe again, and I'm bouncing between that and Path of Titans without being hopelessly deep in a hyperfocus.

I officially got promoted at my job to Retail & Visitor Services manager (and got a $3 raise in Nov!!). While I'm struggling with finding help to ease my increased workload, I'm definitely way better off than before we hired on extra staff. It's given me a lot of networking opportunities (and excuses to go on field trips on the clock for ~*networking*~) and I've been juuuust starting to poke my head into local groups. One is a monthly artists crafting meetup right by work that starts right when I clock out! :D

I had the energy and free time to start branching out and trying other arts and crafts hobbies that had been interesting me! Ended up getting a serger machine to help really tidy up clothes that I make! I got into linocut & block printing, and have been having a lot of fun working on designs for that kind of printing. I even made a few printed shirts! And of course there was Andromeda, the first puppet I've ever made, and pretty much my proudest achievement in all my years of art so far.

I've honestly been spending less time on social media proper, usually forgetting to check tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Which has been good and bad, but overall better for me to stop feeling like I HAVE to fully backlog everything ever.

I got my first tattoo this year after wanting one for years and years! And that opened up a whole new can of worms and now I'm ending the year with 5 tattoos and 2 more scheduled in the next couple months oops! My first tattoo was Joltik, with my first ever pet spide!

I started keeping spiders this year after years of being too concerned about keeping pets that required live feeding! That also was a slippery slope. I picked up Indrid my red-backed jumper and Autumn my pumpkin patch t at the end of January, and now I have them, a regal jumper, a red-knee t, and a togo starburst t. You'd never guess that less than a decade ago I was scared shitless of all spiders. :> Especially now that I will occasionally free-handle wild spiders that need relocation to someplace safer. (Mostly still just jumpers tho)

Things aren't perfect by any means and I still have a lot of areas I want to personally improve myself in, but I feel like overall this has been a really really good year for me and I want to keep that momentum going into 2024! More art! More projects just for me! More time with friends! More enjoying games! More tidying my space literally and metaphorically!

[asterchats]

(this is a word dump about being neurodiverse and disabled but also traumatised enough to be able to mask sometimes, and medical people's reactions to it, you're good to skip this if you wanna, i'm fine just complaining, love u)

also the fact that my adhd is so unconventional for what it is. i did really, like, REALLY, well in school. i can usually rely on adrenaline (anxiety) and hyperindependence through trauma to help push me through 3/7 days a week, which isn't bad, and the after-effects only come in from exhaustion of masking all day (although bump it up to four and i do get. suicidal kdslfjlksj). i can keep clean spaces if anyone else might possibly ever see them but cannot keep clean spaces that are private/my own. and also i forget everything i try to do for myself, never buy what i went to the store for in the first place, constantly forget that friends exist, hyperfocus accidentally, i am able to do things ONLY because of deadlines

all of the hallmarks of "your disorder is ONLY a disorder if it's stopping you from achieving things in your day to day life" are things that i don't meet because i have about 20929348 systems in place which I've developed over the years to force myself to meet deadlines and not forget things Including a great deal of childhood "you're not good enough/independent enough" trauma resulting in hyperindependence. and then unmasking at home is Exhausting and i haven't eaten or peed all day or had anything to drink and I haven't spoken to any friends and have no energy to speak to any friends and i have to go lie in a dark room for two hours and i have chronic pain i haven't noticed all day and i'm too exhausted to even cook and i semi-regularly end up not eating at all on the days i work and my friend tells me something and I !!!!!!!! have no idea what they said two seconds afterwards!!!!!! sometimes i literally forget what i am saying right in the middle of saying it like 3 words into a 10 word sentence!!!!!!!!

something something pathologising neurospice and prioritising predominantly medical views of it (i.e. rejecting self-diagnosis - although I do have a diagnosis from a nd-specialising psych) completely ignores that neurodivergence! should not be! diagnosed! by its deficits!!!!!!!!! you can't just LOOK at someone and say "hey you're, like, surviving in this society so we're not going to Label You As X" like being offered access to 'x' is a Fate Worse Than Death. like anyone who is neurodiverse is not allowed to have figured out a way to survive when in fact figuring out a way to survive is something we've been doing our entire lives.

also!!!!! my systems i've put in place are literally the systems explicitly taught to people who have adhd to make their lives easier!!!!!! i just didn't have a diagnosis before i started figuring out how to make my life easier for myself. so like what? i don't count now because i didn't pay someone with a medical degree to "coach" me?

and as much as this is a critique of the medical model of disability it's also a critique of the way the disability community goes "well EVERYONE..." like it is everyone. it is not. hate being alienated from people who Get It because they get it but they don't get the way it applies to me. i am privileged to be able to work 3 days a week consistently for 3+ years at this point, i also sometimes starve idk. idk idk. i have an entire internal phenomenological experience to write about but i am not sure i have anything interesting to say in the disability context that hasn't already been said.

part of being neuro-affirming is knowing that everybody is different. and not everybody can be looked at from the outside through a Deficit Model because they're very good at hiding it. and in fact affirmation starts with knowing those strengths are there and have been there all along

[watatsumiis]

hi general, passing by to send you some kisses /p

im handing you blankets (if the weather is cold where you are) and your favourite drink <3

might I ask you to tell us about any random hc you have about ayato? (for example, that he has lots of moles or that he has calloused hands because of how much paperwork he does) If not it's completely ok!

Hiya Lucas! It's great to see you in my inbox !! thank you for the blankets and drink, feeling very cozy right about now :> !!!!

This has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute because I just haven't had much motivation to write, so sorry about that!

But Ayato headcanons, hooh, I certainly have a few!!!! I'll toss them below the cut :3

He's ambidextrous - with both writing and weaponry. He can seamlessly switch and tends to just use whichever hand is convenient (though he favours his right when he's doing calligraphy so he wont accidentally smudge the ink).

He tends to hyperfocus on things (especially work-related things) and will often forget to look after himself entirely, only realising that he has been sitting hunched over his desk for hours on end when Thoma tells him.

Speaking of, I really love the idea of Thoma and Ayato having a QPP-type relationship, they're really casual behind closed doors and just act like best friends when others aren't watching.

Ayato is really good with kids, though he isn't particularly fond of them (as in he won't go out of his way to interact with them). He got a lot of experience growing up with Ayaka and always knows how to deescalate situations or play along with silly little games and the like.

He shares a study with Ayaka, so they can keep each other company! They have two big desks in one room, though Ayaka tends to be out and about more often than not.

He gets really irritated if anyone moves anything on his desk - he's always able to tell right away, even if everything has been put back in its rightful place. His desk is often a horrifically chaotic mess, but he has a system in place and archons help the poor new hire who tries to neaten it up a little.

Terrified of insects. Gets super grossed out and may actually shriek if he comes face-to-face with a creepy crawly unexpectedly. Thoma is also afraid of them, leaving Ayaka or another housekeeper to have to scoop them up to take outside.

Had a bit of a rebellious phase growing up, though after his parents passed he matured quickly, though sometimes his defiant streak may shine through, especially when dealing with uppity nobles.

Can and will bitch and moan endlessly about all the stuck up idiots he has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Ayaka and Thoma often get an earful of this - sometimes his gripes become super petty and specific (for instance, he hates the way that the Guuji Yae smacks her lips when she eats).

Speaking of bad noises, he totally has misophonia - he's extraordinarily good at masking his negative responses to things (especially around others) but certain noises just trigger the rage response - Thoma and Ayaka have learned to keep an eye out for that slight twitch in his eye and the tense way he holds himself when he's close to snapping - not that he'd ever do anything outright rude or bad, but he may try something a little underhanded or not ideal for the current situation just to get out of it.

Ayato is a bit of a pessimist too, he calls it 'realism' and cites the fact that it's good that he's always "either correct or pleasantly surprised" as an excuse to continue being vaguely negative about things.

He twirls his hair a lot - I like to imagine his hair as being longer than in canon (more like how people theorised it when he was first revealed) and so often he'll just absently fidget with it.

He's awful when it comes to music. He cant carry a tune or hold a rhythm to save his life. If he's heard a song enough, he may be able to sing it presentably well, but ... not amazingly.

He likes to play silly little practical jokes on people when he gets the opportunity. I'm imagining this scene from mlp when it's in a situation where he needs to be polite and well put together, but there's definitely been times when he's had a bit of extra time on his hands and pulled together a pretty crazy and elaborate scheme (such as making poor Thoma think the entire household had been replaced by yokai after he'd been out to purchase some things)

Oh also !! I like to think that Ayato and Kokomi would get along pretty well and have a lot to talk about. I think Ayaka would also get along really well with her, but there's just an unspoken bond between Ayato and Kokomi as heirs to large important families who were burdened with their duties at too young of an age. They often correspond through letters and the like.

His expensive taste is not optional. He will literally break out in a rash if he has to use cheap soap or crappy sheets.

Does NOT know how to deal with animals at all. Has been chased around by the estate's chickens multiple times (mostly because Thoma babies them too much and they think every person is a friend)

Ayato's sense of personal space is really ... weird, too. With people he doesn't know well or doesn't care for, he stands several paces away (probably a little more than what's considered socially acceptable), but for his close friends and family, he's practically shoulder-to-shoulder with them.

Is super prone to misplacing or losing his things - others (read: thoma) usually have to keep track of important things for him or else they'll just disappear forever in his eight billion pockets.

Wears lots and lots of layers because he likes the comfort that the extra weight and pressure brings.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagiarise my writing! I do not consent for my works to be translated and posted elsewhere, or used to teach bots!

[the-fiction-witch]

Date

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Sexy

Concept Date Night

I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off making sure everything was as perfect as possible fixing the flowers, fixing the candles, making sure dinner was not gonna burn, making sure the music was at a sensual low that could easily be spoken over, having changed my shirt about six times because I changed my mind on how I looked in the mirror. Scratch that I just caught myself in the mirror by the door and this blue shirt is out because I'm sweating! God fucking damn it I'm bad at this. I threw my shirt into the laundry spraif half a can of deodorant and body spray on myself and grabbed a black shirt when I heard the door.

"Fuck! No no no I'm not ready!" I complained fixing my hair and opening the door but I relaxed "oh thank god. Your a life saver jack" I told him as I quickly ushered him in and he handed over the bag from the shop with the bottle of wine I forgot 

"You okay tom?"

"Yeah. Fine why?" I asked cleaning the bottle and adding it to the table 

"You seem a little… panicked"

"I'm not panicked. I'm just… anxious. I haven't been on a lot of dates since everything and even the fee dates I have been on haven't gone particularly well. And I really like y/n she's cute and she's funny and she's literally like a fantasy come to life. And I'm terrified of fucking something up with her. Especially given this is our tenth date which is the furthest I've gotten with anybody since… everything." I explained and I noticed his face "I'm fine. Really" 

"You say so. Still a lot of work for some girl." He says moving some cutlery on the table 

"She's not some girl." I answered fixing it back "she's y/n." I said "jack… I really really like this girl. And if I fuck it up now I may never forgive myself."

"Fine. But I wanna meet her soon."

"If tonight goes well I promise you'll meet her."

"This hyperfocus doesn't have anything to do with you not getting laid for over a year does it?"

".... It's not helping." I admit "especially given… what we've been texting." I nervously admit 

"Ooooh give me the phone"

"Hell no!" I yelled immediately hiding it

"Thomas I've been your best friend since literal preschool. We were once roommates. I've seen you naked more then I like to admit. I know your a weird pervy little fuck. Now let me read the kinky texts"

"Their not kinky!" I defended "we haven't got that far yet. We're still in flirty. But there uhh may have been suggestions. That we may. Get physical. Tonight. Or at least within the next couple of dates." 

"Alright. Have fun. You know the rules"

"Don't add to the population. Don't subtract from the population. Don't be a cunt."

"Good, and relax a little okay girls smell fear" he laughed before he headed out 

Well that didn't exactly fill me with confidence. I finished up setting up and right on time I heard the door so I went waiting a moment next to the door to check my hair and my shirt and everything. And I opened the door immediately being taken back.

She had these little white wedges sat on the doorstep, flesh toned stockings, a sweet blue and white off the shoulder gingham dress with a wide white belt and her usual silver necklace, her hair perfectly done as was her natural but still very beautiful make up. Her coat over her arm and a glass tray in hand.

"Hi Tommy"

"Hi y/n" I smiled egarly

"I bought brownies" 

"Aww your so sweet we'll have those after dinner" I smiled taking the tray from her happily letting her inside shutting the door up behind us.

I took the brownies to the kitchen fighting my urge to taste them as they smelt so delicious but I lead her to her seat and took her coat doing her a nice glass of wine.

We chatted as we always did had dinner and her sweet brownies as we talked about everything and nothing, I was so happy so smitten across the table from her, until our conversation began to get a little more… interesting talking about maybe going in a trip together, maybe staying over one night at hers and where we potentially saw us going and amazingly she was on the same page as me what and excited to continue seeing each other and eventually got into a little bit of a steamy conversation.

"Thomas, I really think if they're going to start… seeing each other more I really think I should tell you some things"

"Of course, tell me whatever you want to" I told her holding her hand across the table 

"Well, if things are going to be getting more physical I feel it's only best to warn you my tastes… aren't that common" 

"Oh?"

"Some guys don't-"

"Its okay just tell me we can be adults about this"

"Well, I really really like sex"

"Okay?"

"Like almost an unhealthy amount, like my sex drive is higher than a rabbit' 

"Oh"

"And you wanna know one of my favourite things to do?"

"Uhh yeah sure tell me."

"I don't know most guys get out off when I talk about this stuff"

"Ohh well I uhh I'm open minded, whatever it is I'm sure it's not that bad"

"Okay" she blushed "I really love sucking a guys dick"

".... really?" 

"Yeah" she blushed "I don't know why it's just I really really love doing it. It's so fun. I love the action, the sounds guys make. Especially doing it sneaky places."

"... really?"

"Yeah, I hope this doesn't change anything"

"Uuughhh so you're into giving blow jobs?"

"Yeah,"

"Well in sure I could learn to live with that" I smirked 

"Oh and my favourite position ever is reverse cowgirl"

"Ah then we have a happy coincidence" I smirked giving her a kiss "I have no problems with any of that. Frankly I'm confused what man would. But I don't mind." 

"Okay," she smiled giving me another soft kiss "so?" She smirked running her foot up my leg "please?"

"Absolutely!" 

[xenomorphee3]

Will you consider writing a new Quartich story about a new OC from a different clan or will this really be the end 🥲😭

Wow okay this question made me so sad when posed like that! So bear 🐻 with my emotional reply.

Almost a year ago, I finished A New Mission: Ash to Fire having started it in January 2023 and completing it in June. It took about 5.5 months to finish that nearly 400,000 word longfic. But I loved this world and the characters and felt there was more story to tell. And so I started A New Mission: Happiness is Simple in August 2023 having posted the first chapter on September 1st and proceeded at a much slower pace than its predecessor. But it too is coming to a close. I anticipate late June, not too far from a year after ANMAF finished which is a funny coincidence.

I love my story and my OCs so much. My life has been dedicated to them for a fascinatingly long time considering the random urge to just start this massive saga in the wake of my many Avatar 2 theater viewings and borderline obsession. I was a sleeper Avatar fan since the first came out and boy did the vindication of the second's success feel sweet. I was ready to ride the Avatar wave and I certainly did 🌊 But writing these longfics was an unexpected way to ride it.

To be honest, I don't know if I'd write more stories. A big part of me—and I'll be sincere in saying this—I wish I didn't start A New Mission at all. Not because I don't love it, but because I do. Too much. When all is said and done, my series will be about 740,000 words. All written in about a year and a half. That is... a remarkable feat, shocking even to myself. It was a result of the longest actively cultivated dedication and hyperfocus I've ever had. To keep this up, I have been purposefully strained from all my hobbies and even other movies and shows to not get in the way of my "Avatar high". My stories together are over 10 times bigger than my dissertation which I finished while writing the sequel. Geez.

My sadness over starting these stories primarily stems from how as soon as Avatar 3 comes out, the void that these 740,000 words fill for myself, Avatar readers, Quaritch, and recom fans is officially filled. And I hate, despite the frothing at the mouth excitement I have for Avatar 3, how sad that makes me. Sure some people here and there will still find my stories, but I don't see how there will be much interest and demand given the third film and new canon. I accept that, even for my own mind, but it still saddens me deeply. At least my stories will be able to breathe on their own for about a year and a half before Avatar 3 releases.

I just wish to close this interesting, complex, and fulfilling chapter of my life. So happy to have done it with such a dedicated cabal of amazing readers. Everyone has been so kind and supportive and your enjoyment has kept the fire going 🔥. As a thank you, I hope you can all tell that I've been desperate to keep up the quality of each chapter. I never want to give the impression of losing interesting or untidily wrapping it up. I am as dedicated to the closing of this fic as you all are to read it.

I won't say I'll *never* write again. There will be a four year gap between Avatar 3 and 4 and I think Quaritch is going to do some cool stuff in A3. Maybe I'll be inspired again. But damn I really do love Zu and her and Quaritch’s little made-up family. It would be hard to let them go.

[bookishblogging]

Mediation Resources For The Witch Who Can’t Meditate 💫

Howdy! It’s your friendly neighborhood witch here FINALLY back with some witch tips. It feels like its been forever since I’ve made a genuine Tumblr post so here I am! I have a lot more free time + free space to really enhance my practice so I’ve gotten a second wind when it comes to witch blogging! 

Anywho, that brings me into today’s topic: Meditation! I personally HATE the act of meditating like listening to guided meditations and doing deep breathing- it really irks me. I can never quiet my mind enough and I end up getting really frustrated. What i’ve realized now is that meditation isn’t all that black and white. 

If I don’t do traditional meditations...then how do I meditate?

For me, i successfully meditate when I’m able to hyperfocus on a task for the pure joy of it. The ability to hyperfocus on something really brings me into that meditative mindset. Meditation- to me- is just giving your mind the ability to do whatever it pleases. In the ADHD world, we call this chasing the dopamine. 

Another Method: Mind Retreat

Another method to go about reaching that meditative mindset is to take a few moments to close your eyes, and really listen to what thoughts you’re having. Don’t try to filter yourself, just let your brain THINK! Listen to what your mind is telling you, and just let all of your thoughts flow freely, without judgement. Do this multiple times a day, just to give yourself a truly *safe* space to THINK! 

Meditation and Ritual 

You may often hear people telling you that you need to meditate before any spell/ritual/etc. This is true- to an extent. Many practitioners (to no fault of their own) will emphasize the importance of a completely clear mind when performing rituals/spells/etc. THIS IS TRUE, but for me having my mind completely clear is quite literally impossible. I used to fault myself for not being able to meditate “correctly” and not being able to have a clear mind when I was practicing. BUT NOW I understand that it’s not about literal clearness of the mind, but rather clarity of the mind. Those may seem like they are the same thing but when I think of a “clear mind” i think like- no thoughts (which i thought to be impossible but my mother informed me neurotypicals don’t have a constant never-ending monologue going on in their head) where clarity is a focus on the task at hand. Therefore, getting into that calm, meditative mindset is beneficial when going to perform rituals. 

Other Meditation Resources

I know that my approach to meditation is a bit different than what you may regularly envision, so I’ve linked a few other resources to help you along your journey. Feel free to leave me a DM or an ask (can’t promise I will remember to check my asks lol) if you have any questions or just want to talk :) 

Yoga With Lakshmi- Yoga can be very beneficial when thinking about meditation, as it’s a peaceful and calm way to approach clarity of the mind whilst also taking care of your body. 

5 Senses Grounding Exercise- I made a post about grounding (FIND IT HERE) a while back but here is another exercise to help ease anxiety and reach clarity of the mind. I’m sure you’ve heard of this one lol

Mediation Playlist- This is a playlist I found with a bunch of videos about meditation and meditation-adjacent things (I will be honest with you, I haven’t watched all of them but I want to give y’all multiple different types of resources) 

THERE ARE TONS OF GUIDED MEDITATIONS ON YOUTUBE IF THAT’S UR JAM! 

REMEMBER...

Meditation looks different for everyone, so don’t bring yourself down if you see someone doing something differently! Meditation is just another useful tool to help you in both your practice and your daily life. Remember you are important, you are loved, and you are going to do great things. Have a good day :) 

[allycryz]

Back on my Strahd hyperfocus planning for a possible campaign this summer and am once again annoyed at Tracy Hickman's foreword to CoS 5e.

I'm going to paste it below in full under the cut so no one can say I'm taking it out of context, but I will bold the parts I find especially annoying:

----

We turned the corner, and there was a vampire.

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

It was 1978, and I was playing in one of my first dungeon adventures. It was being run by a friend I had known in high school, John Scott Clegg, and it was typical of the type of adventure that people played in those days. It was all about exploring a hodgepodge collection of rooms connected by dungeon corridors, beating up the monsters that we encountered, searching for treasure, and gaining experience points.

Now we were face to face with random encounter number thirty-four: a vampire. Not a Vampire with a capital V, but a so-many-Hit-Dice-with-such-and-such-an-Armor-Class lowercase vampire. Just another monster in the dungeon.

I remember thinking at the time, What are you doing here? This creature seemed completely out of place with the kobolds, orcs, and gelatinous cubes we had seen thus far. This was a creature who deserved his own setting and to be so much more than just a wandering monster. When I came home from that game, I told all these thoughts to Laura.

That was when Strahd von Zarovich was born.

Strahd would be no afterthought—he demanded his own setting, his own tragic history. Laura and I launched into researching the mythology and folklore surrounding the vampire. We started with the vague, black-and-white image of Bela Lugosi in 1931, but found so much more.

The first "modern" literary foundation of the vampire was penned by John William Polidori based on a fragment of a story by Lord Byron. It was while at the Villa Diodati—a rented house next to Lake Geneva, Switzerland—that Byron and Polidori met Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin and her husband-to-be, Percy Shelley. One night in June, Byron suggested that they each write a ghost story. Mary Shelley's contribution to the effort would later become Frankenstein. The short story "The Vampyre," published in 1819, was Polidori's contribution. He was Byron's personal physician, and the first of the so-called "romantic" vampires under Polidori's hand was actually modeled after Lord Byron.

Byron—like the fictional vampires that he inspired, from Polidori's Lord Ruthven down through the penultimate work of Bram Stoker—was a decadent predator, an abuser hidden behind a romantic veil. He was a comely and alluring monster—but a monster nevertheless. The romantic vampire of the earliest years of the genre was not just a spouse abuser but a spouse killer, the archetype of abuse in the worst kind of destructive codependency.

For Laura and me, those were the elements that truly defined Strahd von Zarovich—a selfish beast forever lurking behind a mask of tragic romance, the illusion of redemption that was ever only camouflage for his prey.

Initially we were going to title the adventure Vampyr—one of a series of games we called Nightventure that Laura and I were self-publishing back in 1978. The castle was called Ravenloft, and when Halloween came around each year, our friends asked us if we could play "that Ravenloft game" again... and so the better title won out. It was, in part, because of this design that I was hired by TSR, Inc., to write Dungeons & Dragons adventures in 1982. Soon thereafter, I6 Ravenloft was published.

Since then, fans of Ravenloft have seen many different creative perspectives on Barovia (a country which, by absolute coincidence, is featured in a 1947 Bob Hope movie called Where There's Life). It continues to be one of the most popular Dungeons & Dragons adventures of all time. In its various incarnations, each designer has endeavored to bring something new to the ancient legend of Strahd, and to each of them we are grateful.

But the vampire genre has taken a turn from its roots in recent years. The vampire we so often see today exemplifies the polar opposite of the original archetype: the lie that it's okay to enter into a romance with an abusive monster because if you love it enough, it will change.

When Laura and I got a call from Christopher Perkins about revisiting Ravenloft, we hoped we could bring the message of the vampire folktale back to its original cautionary roots. The talented team at Wizards of the Coast not only graciously took our suggestions but engaged us in a dialogue that delivered new insights on the nightmare beyond the gates of Barovia.

Now we invite you again as our guests to pass through the Svalich Woods if you dare. For here the romance is tragically dangerous... and a true monster smiles at your approach.

----

It's just so

Patronizing

It would be an entirely different post to talk about the meaning of the vampire figure in folklore and literature and what it represents; because you cannot pin it to simply one meaning. Vampiric folklore can speak of fears of disease and death and plague, Dracula can represent xenophobia AND classism AND sexuality, Polidori's Lord Ruthven can be a high society predator AND an emblem of repressed queerness

But even if Tracy was correct that the vampire has one specific meaning...so what? Why can people not subvert and change the stock characters of fiction? Is there really a problem if Interview with a Vampire turned tropes on their heads? I'm no fan of Twilight but its sin is absolutely not "it made Vampires hot and romantic"

This is especially galling because when you release a ttrpg story or system out into the world, it's going to be changed at every table. For every group that runs a module as is, there are dozens making it their own.

I do think Strahd as written, as a monster who cannot recognize his faults is fascinating. I also think there are a lot of possibilities to mine if you have a table who likes romance and intrigue. My most frequent table plays a lot of Good Society and they get very excited when similar options show up in other systems.

And, honestly, at the end of the day Tracy just sounds like every guy whining that they made vampires sparkly and those aren't reaaalll vampires and every internet user handwringing over oh no there are people who find villains hot

[vvatchword]

I nearly forgot to post my monthly for August. August has been just... oh jesus. something else. Here. Take this ugly first draft thing. I don't like it very much right now, but it exists, and that's more than I could say before.

Technically, I've been in crunch for the last three months. This has not stopped me from writing. There's a post going around right now by a... I don't know who they are? A public speaker?... who shares a little story about Van Gogh, with the moral of the story being "Art is in spite of suffering and not because of it." And although I think that can absolutely be true--that you don't need to suffer to produce good art--it certainly ain't true of me. I need to be in pain. I need to be angry. At the very least, I need to be confused. And in each of these states, I need to be curious about why that is. Suffering is very often meaningless, but it's also nice to build a framework for comprehending it.

If you can't have a plot without fictional suffering...

August is too many words again, although this time at least 20,000 words came from only two days. Early in the month, I had a deep desire for Good Endings, and wrote a few for myself. Very doubtful any of them will make it into public, but they were very good for me, thanks.

The real reason I haven't been able to finish this story, despite its absurd size, is that I was fixed firmly on Johnny Topside and only Johnny Topside. Every now and then I'd get a brain bug and work on Dr. Lamb--but even then, that was somewhat grudgingly. I'm now at the point that any kind of work on Topside relies almost entirely on what happens to Dr. Lamb and how she influences her followers.

And so, with a great grumble, I finally started working solely on Dr. Lamb and Lackeys sections.

Stanley Poole is absurdly fun to write--if I can get this done, you'll see why. I ended up stumbling into a facet of him that was weirdly personal. Unfortunately, I wrote as far as I could on his storyline; I now require the other three generals, because ideally all five of these characters rub off on one another and help illustrate and build up Lamb herself. I've got Grace down, I've got Gilbert... the only real problem now is Wales, the Biggest Nothing Ever. There is no reason for him to be Nothing except that I know nothing about architects, architecture of the period, or the place Wales came from. The only things I understand about him are Objectivism, Puritanical Belief Systems, Art, Perfectionism, the Sting of Failure, Depression, On the Outside Looking In Because U Just Got Punted into an Alley for Being Shit, and the Lure of the Metaphysical. You will note these are very imprecise and say little, really. I need to know about his childhood. I need to know about where and when he grew up. I need some colours out of earth.

One thing I'm very curious about is how this writing hyperfocus--which, if I can get to November, will have lasted an ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR, fucking unhinged and completely unlike anything I've ever experienced before--will affect Future Me. A winter is coming for me, whether I like it or not, and I'll definitely need it, but... I wonder if I can carry any of this knowledge and capability into future projects.

So much of this was fueled by passion. It's arguable it was nothing but passion. It's me taking my lumps and then translating them into prose as fast as life gives them to me. But I'm also impressed by the pieces of the work that I just worked on because they needed to be there and for no other reason. I'm impressed by the work I did out of duty years ago that still holds up, and the work I did on the bus while someone was screaming slurs. Art that exists is always better than the art that seems perfect in your head--at least it's out now, at least it's saying something, even if that something is imperfect. You can't fix what doesn't exist.

I'm also impressed by how I now know instantly what kinds of sections are necessary and in what orders, up to how many chapters are necessary to express the points that need to be impressed, with the only question marks being how to illustrate those points best. The next step will be to see if I have gotten too rote and see if I can't break out of those habits--maybe look up some alternate styles and writers and try to copy them. Just for challenge's sake, you know. I often find favorite phrases and methods and overuse them.

You might be asking at this point: "Wait! What about the BioShock Infinite stuff?" And I reply: this is about August and I only started writing BSI stuff in September. And also, I realized (very grudgingly) that I need to read a LOT more books before I can really start work, then play/watch BSI again. Napciyunka shared some headcanons with me and I played with them and then I realized he was like Oh Jesus don't take all my headcanons and I was like OH yeah that would be awkward and rude wouldn't it

...wait a stinking minute. Look at my story statistics. There is no reading time. I broke it rofllll

[diviinitatis]

tw // uncensored (because this isn't the clock app) talk of mental illness, addiction, eating disorders, and weight. read at your discretion

i do want to talk a bit about my writing and art and what i want to do with it-- i think it comes as no surprise that i actively want to explore and depict the uglier and darker sides of life, and a lot of it is coming from my own feelings and experiences and problems, but i remain terrified of coming across like i'm romanticizing it or actually romanticizing it, even by accident.

we're taking d'ablo in this example as he's my most outwardly fucked up character. yes there's the obvious drug abuse and alcoholism that i casually sprinkle into our threads and any writing i do with him, but to examine where this tendency is coming from is important to me. more than that, though, i especially want to talk about my depiction of his eating disorder, which, while restrictive, doesn't fall into an*rexia or b*limia (censoring these so they don't end up in tags or search function) but rather an EDNOS, or eating disorder not otherwise specified.

i've not made a post on its manifestation in d'ablo yet but i came to the realization some time ago that i was unintentionally writing him with adhd for years (surprise, i also have adhd), and accompanying that was his EDNOS. in d'ablo it manifests itself as "forgetting" to eat in several ways -- entering hyperfocus and not feeling the hunger cues, simply not getting any hunger cues because his body is used to starving, suppressing his appetite (both intentionally and by accident) with drugs, and not deriving any pleasure from the act of eating and frankly finding it a chore. all of that combines into not eating much-- when he does remember or bother to eat, his body often rejects it entirely and he has to go throw up.

so eating is not a pleasant experience for him, combining adhd and other pysiological factors including a very fast metabolism whose needs are not being met. d'ablo is underweight (at 5'11, weighing ~135 pounds)-- he's always cold, he's easy to throw, and even if he is a very pretty/attractive/whathaveyou man, his bones are visible: ribs, shoulders and shoulder blades, vertebrae. people worry about him, he's cranky, and he's weaker than he should be for a vampire his age and experience.

it's important to me to combine all of this, though, with the fact that d'ablo still lives his life. his eating disorder isn't supposed to be depicted as extreme and debilitating. he still goes to work, goes out, has sex, falls in love, fights, makes bad decisions, laughs. his life is affected, but not consumed by this sickness.

and this is where i get nervous, because to me it's so important to depict these things, but depicting them as a fact of life rather than a debilitating curse with a million disclaimers about how this is a bad thing is, in fandom and online spaces, equated to romanticizing it. that because d'ablo is still capable of happiness despite this sickness, i'm saying that it's totally fine and healthy to have an ednos, actually. people seem to think, or worse, genuinely believe, that if you depict an addict or a sick person not at rock bottom, or managing to cope with their disease (whether well or badly), that you're condoning it. when really, it's just a part of a very rich and multi-faceted life.

d'ablo doesn't need to be skeletal and bedridden and having his hair fall out for this to be a valid depiction of an eating disorder. i shouldn't be afraid that my writing and art will be misconstrued as romanticizing an illness just because i'm not depicting it at its ugliest. it's important to portray things at their extremes, but to me it's even more important to write about them in a more common, everyday setting, where maybe somebody else who is struggling with it may recognize it for what it is.

outside of that deep reason for depiction, though, it's fucked up that writers and artists feel the need to post a million disclaimers whenever they post something. there should be a rapport, sure-- something that's depicted inaccurately should be pointed out and hopefully the creator will be mature enough to take the feedback and fix it. i say innacurately, not "badly," because that is a subjective term-- people's experiences are different, and portraying something differently doesn't mean it's being portrayed badly (or even innacurately). care and research should go into depiction, but sometimes the depiction won't follow the research because people's experiences are individual and sometimes even non-academic, so much so that the creator isn't always held to taking the feedback they're being given.

so i'm going to try to push this. i'm going to try to work on being unapologetic in how i portray these uncomfortable subjects, and the fact that i portray them in the first place. i always have and will welcome feedback and i'll incorporate what i want/can, when i want/can. generally i think we should extend grace and the benefit of the doubt when we see something we don't like being portrayed, or if something is portrayed in a way we don't like. chances are, it's out of ignorance or a thought-out, well-researched, and careful decision that, just because you don't agree with it, didn't come from a place of malice. fandom and online spaces aren't fun when they're so militant, and they're just getting more and more restrictive and aggressive. i really don't know how to finish this post except by saying i'm tired of it