#its okay if it kills me i enjoyed every single one of them

[ranticore]

We know the werewolves were one guys specific indentured servants. Are there any other monsters that were just one specific guy’s? Actually. Is that wizard still around and how does he (it?) feel about it? Did Revelation’s specific underlings also get hit especially hard or just it?

Anyway your Kosa setting is cool as hell and I love everyone and also Revelation. And its wife guy (guy who is a wife guy to it).

hiii i'm going to answer all your asks in this one post to make things easier, thank you so much for giving me a lot of stuff to think about

Anyway, werewolves! It's accepted that pretty much every wizard had a lot of servants, this guy (Onozar The Transcendent, the green wyrm with red markings) just happened to have a lot in the general region i do most of my worldbuilding in (the two of Kosa is here, the Ama plains, other areas etc). That means werewolves are pretty common here, and have spread elsewhere from here, but other areas and regions have their own different population densities of werewolves and other 'beastified servant' type monsters.

Onozar isn't open about it, his faces are now very different to how he looked back in the day (aka the face on the werewolf masks) and he has very purposefully put his past behind him. Yes he did terrible stuff and was essentially a magical dictator once upon a time. But that was so long ago and he was punished for it so as far as he's concerned he's done with it and the werewolves are unrelated to him (and if somebody else brings it up omg you're all so obsessed with the past, don't you know people grow and change?? it was NORMAL to have slaves back then okay it was just part of the culture and it's honestly really suspicious and hurtful that you would bring this up to attack him at a time like this, and-)

Revelation was not a big shot among wizards. It had servants yes but not so many that they became their own species of monster (many of the monsterifications were chosen as a form of dramatic irony based on the individual person's personality). I still have to design a bunch of other monster types but I'll say yes they were probably hit harder than they should have been, everybody in and around Revelation's tower were made An Example.

It's a little easier to scapegoat the guy who has no real influence and no real friends in this social circle ain't it

He's only good at killing crawling beasts lol, that's partially why king harpies evolved after all - to fight and kill the crawlers, which are very strong but not very fast. His type eat mainly rabbits and hares, and he tends to be not quite fast enough to consistently catch them himself, the much swifter and smaller cobs and pens take care of that (he still runs far faster than a human tho, he's had some luck catching antelopes if he gets close enough before the chase). He is part of a flock, he just kinda... drifted away from living with the others, splitting his attention between Revelation and his other duties. Like many kings he's fighty and opinionated, with the added assurance of a creature that knows it's too big and strong to fall prey to... pretty much everything else. He enjoys art and beautiful things and has happily worked in alliance with the local wolfmen packs in the past in return for some of their dye products.

So his flock is a multi-type coalition between a collection of eyries (or whatever word I'll use for the small harpy settlements that form under the banner of a single flock). He's not the all-king of the flock, but he is the king of the terror bird types. The other types within the flock are all ground-nesting but not necessarily flightless harpies. His eyrie has about thirty individuals living there and he had three tiercels (not including Revelation). Revelation didn't kill all his flockmates but it did quietly disappear his other tiercels at some point. I need to do a little more work on them but yea

These different characters actually represent different time periods in the setting (the guy, Ambrose, is from the 1600s, while Mikalai and Cuinn come from the 1800s!). I think the whole thing with Revelation is much earlier, going for a more medieval look with those guys. It means that Revelation's march is technically just a part of history for Cuinn and the rest of them :) The world didn't end. But it DID change (.... not many wyrms around these days, anymore, i wonder what happened to them...)

[promiscuouscutie]

Marking His Territory

Ethan Landry x shy fem. Reader, Ethan being possessive and jealous, HE IS A GHOSTFACE IN THIS, SMUT

Word Count: 1766

Warnings for this part: non-consensual videotaping, P in V sex, fingering, unprotected but no finishing inside, biting, if you don’t like controlling behavior this isn’t for you

A/N: I’m kinda iffy on this ngl. I think I could’ve dragged it out longer but this was all I came up with. I still hope you enjoy :))

You thought you and Ethan were pretty similar. You both were pretty reserved, and that’s what drew you two together. You found yourself more comfortable around him when it was just the two of you doing assignments together, eventually going on late night walks around campus. You remember the fluttery feeling in your stomach when he held your hand for the first time, pulling you close to his side under the dark sky.

To you, it was like fate! You were always a bit of a romantic, liking the idea that there were strings attached to souls, connecting people with their true match. When he cupped your face and kissed you in your dorm for the first time, you couldn’t imagine being without him. You were nervous to ask him out, but that was okay! He ended up asking you to be his girlfriend the next night and giving you a bouquet of roses.

You and Ethan had gone through the honeymoon phase of your relationship, loving every minute of it. You thought it would last forever, but it didn’t. You started to notice Ethan acting different in the relationship: he was starting to control your life. Well, you wouldn’t put it like that. But anyone who noticed would disagree with your constant efforts to brush it off.

If you didn’t answer his messages right away, he’d blow up your phone. He’d walk you to each of your classes, walk with you to lunch, and come to your dorm to make you dinner as you both worked on assignments. You’d see your friends on the weekends; he never objected to that, unless they were guys. The male friends you had at the beginning of the year had faded from your life because of Ethan’s presence. Well, all except one guy: Lucas.

Lucas was someone you used to be very close to, until Ethan claimed he was into you and wanted to get into your pants.

“Baby you can’t seriously be this naive,” he scoffed. You lifted your head off his shoulder, sitting up in his lap. “What?”

“Lucas wants to fuck you. You realize that, right?”

Now you were the one to scoff. “No he doesn’t. We’re just friends.”

“He doesn’t look at you like he just wants to be friends.” You dart your eyes down to stare at his chest, playing with the buttons on his blue shirt.

“Do you think I’d cheat on you or something?” You asked. His gaze softened and he cupped your face.

“No baby no. I know you’d never do something like that to me. You’re a good girl.” You smiled at the praise, feeling reassured. You kissed his cheek and leaned against his body again, going back to watch the movie. Ethan ran his fingers through your hair, glancing at the incoming messages on your phone. Every single one of them was from Lucas, which made Ethan clench his jaw. At this rate, Ethan was gonna add him to his kill list.

After that conversation, you didn’t talk to Lucas as much. When he’d ask why, you’d say you were just busy and it was nothing personal; he’d believe you, but still push to talk to you. Ethan didn’t like that one bit. He just wanted him to give up and move on, find some other girl to leech on. You were his, no one else’s. His hatred for Lucas only grew, but it reached its peak when he found out he invited you to a study session.

“You’re not going.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re busy. Just tell him that.” You sighed, putting your buttoned-gray sweater over your black tank top. He comes up behind you and hugs you, holding you in place. You sighed, leaning your head against his body.

“Stay here, with me. C’mon baby, forget about Lucas,” he whispered.

“I’m just gonna help him with his project, and then I’ll come back here.” You turned around and put your hands on his shoulders. “Will you wait for me here?” He dragged out a sigh, but eventually nodded. You smiled and kissed his cheek before grabbing your bag with your notes.

When it’s time to say goodbye, you kissed him deeply with an embrace. “I’ll see you later!” Before you could put your hand on the doorknob, he grabbed your hips and held you in place. You could feel his body against you from behind. You could smell the perfume of yours that lingered onto him.

“That’s all you’re gonna give me?” He faked a sad voice. One of his hands snuck under your top and rubbed your lower stomach.

“Ethan,” I let out a breathy laugh. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, placing kisses along your skin.

“Just stay with me. Lucas can fend for himself.”

“Ethan that’s not very nice.”

“Just a few more minutes, please.” His grip on your hip grew tighter. You winced as he bit down on your skin, leaving teeth marks on your neck.

“Ethan!” You wiggled out of his grasp and touched the throbbing mark on your neck. You looked at him in shock; he had never bitten you before. “What’s gotten into you?” You gape at him.

He no longer had his doe eyes. His face had hardened, but his eyes were filled with desire.

The phone in your pocket started to buzz. You took it out and saw Lucas’s contact; he was calling you. Ethan took your phone out of your hand and answered the phone for you.

“Hello?”

“Uh hey! Who’s this?”

“It’s Ethan, her boyfriend.”

“Oh…hey man! I just wanted to check in and see if she was coming over soon. She’s got the notes, so..”

“Oh, well she’s not coming.”

“She’s not?”

“No, she can’t make it.” You had been trying to grab the phone out of his hand, but he was much stronger than you. You groaned every time he pushed you away.

“Are you sure?” Ethan looked at you, noticing your pleading expression. You mouthed the word “please,” making him bite back a sigh.

“You know what? She will be there. Just give her some more time to get ready. Is that cool with you?”

“Yeah! That’s totally fine with—”

“Good talk,” Ethan hung up. You stared at him and held your hand out, waiting for him to give you your phone back. But he doesn’t, not yet. He looked at Lucas’s number, memorizing it in his head. He took your hand and led you back into your room, pushing you onto the bed.

“Ethan I thought you said—”

“I know what I said,” he said as he unbuttoned your pants, “but you have to do something for me.” He yanked your pants off and threw them onto the ground. You closed your legs immediately, feeling the cold air hit your thighs.

“I know I haven’t been very reasonable when it comes to him,” he admitted. He pulled you closer to him by your legs, placing him in between them. He pressed his lips against your skin, leaving those kisses that gave you butterflies.

“All I ask…is that you promise me something.”

“Okay..” you trailed off. You didn’t understand where this was going, even as he moved your thighs further apart. He could see a damp spot on your panties, making his cock twitch.

“Already?” He smirked. You averted your eyes, not wanting to respond. But he could see the blush growing on your cheeks.

He moved your panties to the side and exhaled heavily at the sight of you. He traced his finger down your slit, making you quiver. You laid back on the bedspread, looking at the ceiling as he continued to tease your pussy. He traced circles on your clit, prodded at your hole a few times before pushing the finger inside you. You let out little whimpers and whines, sounds that Ethan enjoyed. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted you to be louder.

What you didn’t know was that he began recording you on his phone, a little homemade video.

“Flip over, on your stomach baby.” You do as you’re told, whining at the loss of his touch. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled his boxers down, letting his cock spring out free. He rubbed his tip against your pussy, pushing it inside you for a fleeting second before taking it out.

You would cry out his name, wanting to feel him inside. “I know baby, I know. It’ll be over soon, I swear.” He pushed himself inside, letting out a loud moan as he felt you clench around him.

“Oh my god,” he gritted his teeth. He could barely take the feeling of you around him as he started to move his hips. He could barely handle the sight of you grabbing your sheets, muffling your noises. He grabbed his phone that had sitting on the bed, only recording the sounds you were making. But now, he would capture the sight of you two fucking.

He’d save the video for himself, of course. But he had another plan in mind. He would send the video to Lucas as you left to go to his place. That would send the message to him, and you wouldn’t be the wiser. You’d have no clue, and that was how it would stay.

He truly was capturing gold with his phone. He was fucking you so hard that you couldn’t muffle your moans. You didn’t even care that your neighbors could hear you; you felt phenomenal.

You felt Ethan’s weight on your body, leaning closer to your ear. He wrapped your hair into a ponytail and pulled you closer. “Lucas could never fuck you like this, right?”You shook your head and continued to whine.

“Say it,” he panted.

“N-no! Never! He could never make feel this goo—holy fuck!” Ethan almost dropped his phone as you babbled out those words. He couldn’t contain his excitement; he was ready to cover you in cum.

And that’s exactly what he did: he pulled out so fast and let his cum drip all over your ass, letting it drip down your thighs. That was probably the fastest fuck he had ever had with you; he couldn’t help himself. He let out a breathy laugh as he smacked his cock against your hole a couple times before ending the video.

He’d clean you up, help you out your pants back on, kiss you goodbye, and send you on your way. He’d have the video sent to Lucas before you arrive at his home.

He could only imagine the look on his face.

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Hello, hope you're doing alright. I have a pretty twisted one shot request concerning our amazing Shadowsinger. I was looking at the super natural dark dialogue prompts list and I feel like the #24 and #36 would fit perfectly for my request.

So basically: I was thinking about Azriel capturing the reader. She's a spy from the Spring Court and she was on a mission wandering at the border of the Night Court. When the reader wakes up, she's tied up in Azriel torture room. She also realizes how Azriel seems to be drawn to her. As she tries to find a way to make him untie her, she remembers something about Illyrians obssesion with bargains and deals. She offers to make a deal with him that the first one to make the other cum earn a favor. If she wins he spares her life, and if not he can kill her. And like as they conclude the pack, a tattoo appears on both of them and bla bla bla... and she ends up winning this challenge maybe?

Can't wait to see if you'll be willing to write this! I think it would have a lot of potential if written by you. Anyways, keep up your good work. I love your writing.

Okay, I know I said my next release would be the POM bonus bits, and then I’d be working on my other pieces, but I got this request and had immediate inspiration for it, so here it is!

Thank you to whoever sent this in! I hope I did it justice. It was very fun to write! I hope you enjoy 🫶🏻

The prompts you requested to be included in this will be written in bold.

Note: I haven’t tagged anyone in this because I desperately need to sort out my tag lists and haven’t had the chance. I’ll add them later if I get the time. Sorry!

Warnings: Smut! 18+, minors dni. NSFW. Some details of aggressive behaviour. Azriel being a sore ass LOSER.

Lust is a Losing Game — Azriel x Reader.

You can feel the caress of Night before your eyes open.

Every single court you have trespassed and traversed has its own distinct feel. The Autumn Court feels perpetually — and unsurprisingly — like a stroll through a forest, touched by brisk air and hues of oranges, yellows, reds. Your home court — Spring — has a feeling of renewed hope; like the first rays of sun after a long, harsh winter.

The Night Court is blood-drenched, rippling darkness, and the allure of scandal, of want, of lust.

Night time is for secrets and exploration. It’s for burning the bridge between who you are in the daylight and becoming something…else. It’s exciting, and it’s coaxing, and—

Cold, sharp metal prods beneath your chin. Its point is lethal. Any wrong move, and you’re bleeding.

Perhaps even more lethal is the quiet voice that commands, “Eyes open.”

Slowly, you comply — because you are both intrigued and wise. Intrigued by where you went wrong and where you ended up. Wise, because you know that cold, granite voice.

It doesn’t surprise you in the least to open your eyes and find Azriel the shadowsinger stood in front of you, his blade at your throat.

You know of him, of course — spymaster of the Night Court, a rare species of fae, far more powerful than many realise. You’ve sat across from him during terse meetings between courts and been the target of those guarded, icy stares. You’ve never heard him utter more than a few words at a time; he is spoken for by reputation, by violence and threat and battle.

But you’d know that voice anywhere.

You peer up at him through eyes blurred by some sort of power. And when your lips tilt up into a smile, a subtle tick of his jaw tells you it incenses him.

“Hello, Azriel.” You rasp.

The blade presses into your skin as he asks, “What were you doing at the border of our court?”

“Picking wildflowers. Foraging berries. Making a daisy chain. All the things a lady loves to do.”

A quiet noise sounds in his throat. “Is that what you are? A lady?”

“I’m whatever you want me to be, shadowsinger.”

His answering smile is cruel. A harsher press, and his blade nicks your throat. A drop of warm blood blooms on your skin.

Your eyes, rapidly clearing, take quick stock of your surroundings. The room is dark and damp and cold, empty save for the chair on which you sit — to which you are constrained. You can scent the blood of a thousand previous victims of the shadowsinger, and you imagine the vacancy of the space must have been more intimidating to them, somehow, than if the room were filled to the brim with torture instruments. The lack thereof tells anyone who finds themselves here that the Night Court’s spymaster does not need such things to do his work.

You try to shift in the chair, and find yourself well and truly stuck in place. Your gaze drops to your feet, where shadows act as manacles, as firm and strong and steel. Though your hands are restrained around the back of the chair, the cool touch tells you that a shadow binds them, too.

Azriel follows your gaze. A smug smile graces his mouth as he watches you try and fail to move.

“An impressive little trick.” You offer, nodding to the shadows around your ankles. “Now be a gentleman and untie me.”

“Tell me what you were doing at our border, and maybe I will.”

“Tell me your secrets and I’ll tell you mine.”

“You’re not really in the position to barter, right now, are you?”

“And yet, here I am.” You smile. “Bartering.”

He stares down at you, shrouded in shadows, in night. His aloofness has been perfected over centuries, but you somehow know where to look in order to tell — you’re getting on his nerves.

A slight angling of his head. Shifting on his feet. He drags the tip of that blade up, not pressing quite hard enough to draw more blood, but to make a twisted heat enter your veins. The blade stops at your cheek.

“I don’t know how you do things in the Spring Court.” His breath caresses your face. “But I can’t imagine it’s part of your job description to be a smartass who can’t keep her mouth shut.”

Your eyes flick down to that blade. Back up to his gaze. “I can’t imagine it’s part of yours to lust over me so tirelessly.”

The shadowsinger actually falters.

Something tells you he would never do that in front of somebody else.

His teeth grit. He bites out, “Tell me why the fuck you were at the border—”

“I’ve seen you, you know.” A satisfied smirk curls your lips. You will not give away that your arms and legs are beginning to ache. “I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me for years.”

A clatter bounces off the walls as he tosses his dagger to the floor. Can’t be one that means much to him, then. You almost laugh, but a scarred hand is gripping your chin to the point of pain. He tilts — yanks — your chin up. “Pray, tell, how do I look at you?”

“With hunger.”

“Hatred.”

“Lust.”

“Loathing.”

“Like you want to touch me.”

“I am going,” he snarls, “to wrap my hands around your throat and—”

“Fuck me?”

“Kill you.”

A mocking pout puckers your lips. “Less sexy.”

"You must be a fool," his fingers bite into your skin, "to laugh in the face of such danger."

"What danger would that be? You've handed me your threats. What are you waiting for, Azriel? Kill me."

He could easily retrieve his blade and gut you then and there. You know it. He knows it.

And yet he doesn't do it.

He clenches his jaw so hard that you hear his teeth clash. He squeezes your chin, calluses and scars grazing you. It feels...good.

But then a growl is ripping from deep within his chest, and he's tearing his hand away and pivoting on the spot. He's confident enough in the shadow bindings to turn his back to you, clearly.

You just smile. He can't do it. Can't kill you.

"I'll do you the courtesy of asking one last time." His voice is strained. "Why were you snooping around our border."

"Perhaps I was hoping you'd find me and tie me to a chair. I'm into that kind of stuff, you know. We could make this fun."

"You think this room is intended for fun?"

"I think you and I could have fun anywhere, shadowsinger."

He says nothing. You watch as he sucks in a deep breath, steels himself. By his command, a shadow dances out and retrieves his blade from the floor. His fist flexes at his side.

Perhaps you can irritate him enough that he'll either kill you or let you leave out of pure exasperation. Or turn on the tears and plead innocence, that you're just a foolish, foolish girl doing her High Lord's bidding.

Or perhaps you can have fun.

You scan your brain for what you know about this court. How you can use it to your advantage — use Azriel to your advantage. An idea knits itself in the twisted avenues of your mind.

"This court has a thing for bargains, does it not?" You watch Azriel's shoulders tense at the sound of your voice. "How about making a bargain with me?"

He chokes on a scoff. "Why would I want to make a bargain with you?"

"Because you want me."

Slowly, he turns. His eyes are narrowed, mouth pinched. He looks two seconds away from using that blade to wipe your head clean from your neck.

But then he smiles, cruelly and coldly. "How very sure of yourself you sound."

You mimic that smile. "I am." Damn right you are. "So here is my deal: you toy with that lust however you like. We tease each other. Coax reactions from each other."

"Where is the bargain in that?" No outright refusal.

"If I make you cum first, shadowsinger," your eyes fall to his breeches. You could swear you glimpse the outline of a bulge. "If I make you cum first, I get to walk out of here with my head still attached to my body. But if you make me cum first...well. You get to know why I was snooping around the Night Court border, and you can send my head back to my High Lord in a pretty little box."

He stares at you for what feels like so, so long. Head to toe, his eyes rake over you. His shadows whisper in his ears, things you don't need nor care to hear.

Because you might not have his shadows, but you are a spy, just as he is. And you know his mind is already made up.

Shadowsinger, spymaster, feared member of the infamous Night Court — but still, a male weakened by lust. Lust for you that has driven him mad for a long, long time.

Still, he tries to keep up a front. He sneers at you, "You'd so willingly barter away your life?"

You smile. Simply, prettily. "It turns me on."

Oh, he's lost to his need. There's a newer scent that has joined the present ones of cedar and night-chilled mist and bloodstains. This one is deeper, smokier. Spicier.

He points his blade at you, the tip glimmering. And the shadow binds fall away as he demands, "Undress."

Your hands fall back to your sides. "Are you saying you agree to my terms?"

"Yes. Now take. Your fucking. Clothes off."

"What way is that to talk to a lady?"

"You are no lady—" His words fall short as, with a snap of your fingers, your clothes disappear. Leave you in nothing but your undergarments. His eyes drink in the brassiere, the silky little fabric that hangs from your hips. He swallows. "And I am no gentleman."

A spy you may be — someone who throws themself into danger and risk and dirt and blood, time and time again. But you never see a reason not to wear pretty underwear while doing so. And gods, in this moment, you're very glad of that choice.

It's the same colour as the siphons that adorn the male before you. The coldness in Azriel's eyes is replaced by intense, raw heat. He takes a step towards you, but you kick out a leg.

"Your turn." You say.

He pauses. Chucks his dagger aside again.

And then his clothes are gone.

He doesn't seem the slightest bit fazed by the fact that he stands utterly naked before you. So much golden, sculpted skin on show. All over, white scars tell the stories of previous injuries. His body is a novel written over time.

That silky underwear of yours is already soaked as you take your fill of him. For a moment, you think you might stumble in your bravado. He's huge and hard and standing to attention. Utterly perfect.

But you sit up straight in the chair and plant your hands on the arms. Your legs part, and Azriel hungrily tracks the movement.

"There is only one rule." You tell him. "We don't want to make this too easy, after all."

His jaw flexes. Eyes don't stray from the growing damp patch between your thighs. "What's the rule."

"You can touch me. You can lick me. You can put your cock in my mouth and my hand and rub it against my skin. But you can't fuck me."

He starts, pupils blowing wide. "But—"

"Not today." Your lips curl up. "But if I win, and I walk out of here? Some other time, Azriel, you can fuck me."

"You are wicked."

"Do you accept my rule?"

"Yes."

You are wicked, indeed. You widen that gap between your legs until you're hooking them over the arms of the chair. Baring your silk-covered cunt to him. His eyes damn near roll into the back of his head at the sight.

"Do you think you can stand to touch me without fucking me?" You hum, your fingers dancing down to that, sweet, sweet spot. You run them over the dampness, biting your lip. "I don't think you can."

"You underestimate me." Azriel growls. "And you're going to cum first."

There is no opportunity for you to volley a response. Not as Azriel surges forward and yanks you out of the chair, his arms securing you. His firm, velvety cock presses against your stomach. His lips slide over yours in a harsh, bruising kiss.

A male of natural elegance and grace, he doesn't even falter in the kiss or his steps as he marches you back, back, until you're pressed up against a cold wall. You nip his bottom lip and reach between your bodies, wanting to feel the pulsing weight of his cock in your palm, but his hands are grabbing your wrists and holding them above your head.

"No hands." He snarls onto your lips. "Just my cock and your cunt. Whoever cums first is the loser."

You almost want to laugh. So, so easy this will be.

But then he's letting go of your hands and pinning you with a knee. And out of fucking nowhere, a slim bottle appears between his fingers. You watch, leaning against the cold surface of the wall, as he pulls the stopper out of the bottle and tilts it towards you.

Oil drips onto your chest. Rolls down your breasts, your stomach. Azriel watches with predatory focus as it floods to where he wants it — soaking your underwear.

The blue silk darkens, sticks to your skin. Showcases everything that Azriel so desperately wants, but everything he will not get — today.

And then so quickly, he's hoisting your leg at his hip. So quickly, his cock is pressing into your soaking undergarments.

He positions his length between your thighs and guides it through your clothed folds. Both of you let out an immediate gasp at the taunting sensation — that a mere bit of fabric separates you from what you both want.

"Is this how you're going to play it?" Your head falls back, teeth digging into your lower lip. "You think thrusting through my clothes is going to stop you from cumming?"

"No." He makes a small noise, slowly rolling his hips. Watches his glistening cock rubbing against the silk. "But I think I'm going to make you cum fast from it."

"And then you get to kill me."

"And then," the head of his cock nudges your clit, "I get to kill you."

The sensation is divine, you can’t deny it. A coiled, aching pleasure that sits tightly in your lower belly. Azriel hears your intake of breath, and he smiles like this will be easy for him. You’re having none of that.

You’re thankful for your refined stealth and balance as you clamp your leg tighter around him, pull him harder against you. His hands press flat against the wall either side of your head, and you both gasp as his cock rubs so torturously against you, up and down and up and down.

“Gods,” He grunts, dipping down to brush his lips against yours. “This is torture.”

You smile. “Does it feel good?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to remove my underwear? You still can’t fuck me, though.”

A suffering groan chokes out of him, and he throws his head back. Because yes, he fucking wants you to remove your underwear. Yes, he wants to feel his bare skin rubbing against your bare skin.

But gods, the temptation to slide his cock into you is going to be unbearable.

But even though he knows that, and you know that, he smiles like this is nothing. He bites out, pleasure wavering his voice, “Why not? It’ll only make you lose.”

“I think you’re giving yourself a little too much credit.” You say, and then your underwear is gone, leaving you naked and dripping with nothing to shield you.

Not expecting it so fast, Azriel’s cock slides easily through your folds — and the head nudges your entrance. Very nearly slips in. He growls and halts the roll of his hips.

“Oops.” You smirk. “Careful, shadowsinger.”

“You’re fucking insufferable.” He bites back, and then he’s kissing you.

The kiss robs you of breath and of words. All you can do is twine your arms around his neck and welcome the sensation of him fucking through your folds, your wetness his pleasure. You’re lost to the feeling of him bumping against your clit, rubbing against it. Your legs are beginning to tremble.

“I want to fuck you.” Azriel moans, dropping his head to take in the sight of his cock against your pussy, never entering, never going deeper.

“I know.” Your fingernails dig into his shoulders. “And you have wanted to for a very long time.”

“Yes.” He can’t even deny it. “Yes.”

“You think about me.”

“Yes.”

“You wonder what it’s like to be inside me.”

“Yes.”

“But not today.” Your hands stroke down his muscled arms, and you moan as he grinds his cock against your clit. “Not today.”

“Nor any other day.” His hand fists in your hair, yanking your head up. “Because I will have your head. Cum for me, lady.”

He kisses you again, and gods, you want to cum. Every single inch of you begs and trembles for it. You’re clenching around nothing, desperate to feel him inside you, fucking into you, spilling into you—

But through your pleasured haze, you remember: you will be victorious. Azriel cannot win.

And so when he’s kissing you and kissing you, moans catching in his throat and landing in your mouth, hips faltering with every thrust, you pull your lips from his and sink your teeth into his neck with a harsh bite. You’ve always imagined he’d like that.

And simultaneously, you lock him between your thighs and roll your hips torturously slow, dragging every last sensation from him.

Azriel’s cock, nestled snugly between the folds of your cunt, spasms and twitches. He slams his hands against the wall and goes still. Tries to pull back the control.

But it’s too late for that.

“Fuck!” He shouts, and then ropes of cum are spurting out of him and landing on your stomach, your breasts, your arms. Beads of it roll down his cock. He trembles hard, panting, groaning, growling.

And you suck harshly at his neck. Suck until it leaves a mark. And then pull away with a smile.

Breathing so, so heavily, Azriel’s gaze drops down to his cock like the damn thing has betrayed him. He’s wide-eyed and outraged. He’s not sure what’s just happened.

A horrid longing still aches between your legs and makes you want to continue until you’re exploding, too. But the triumph of a win is pleasure in itself.

“Well, well, well.” You glance down at the cum now coating your skin. “I do believe I was right.”

“What—” Azriel breathes, shaking out of his lust. “What kind of witchcraft was that?” He touches his neck, where you bit him. As though the answer lies there.”

You shrug. “No witchcraft, though I’m flattered you think so. You simply lost the game.”

“I. Don’t. Lose.”

“You just did.” You pat his shoulder. “There, there.”

He rips away, so fast that you almost fall. “Get the fuck away from me.”

“Gladly.” With a snap of your fingers, you’re squeaky clean and clothed once more. Azriel’s clothes return, too. “And I’ll do so with my pretty head still on my shoulders—

“Get out.”

“Because I won the game—”

“Get. Out.”

“A bargain’s a bargain, after all—”

“I will not tell you again.” His hand grabs the back of your neck, hard enough to bruise, and he marches you to the door, yanking it open. “Out.”

You’re thrown into a dim-lit hallway, your body colliding with a cold brick wall. You throw Azriel a smile over your shoulder, despite your teeth singing at the impact.

“Try not to wank over me too much!” You call, as he slams the door shut behind him. “See you around!”

It’s only once you’ve winnowed back to your own court, and you’re bathing the day from your skin, that you notice the small black band inked into your upper arm. You scrub at it until it’s red raw. It doesn’t budge.

The mark of a bargain. But you had always believed that the tattoos of bargains disappeared once the terms were fulfilled…

But if I win, and I walk out of here? Some other time, Azriel, you can fuck me…

It had all been bravado. And yet…it had unwittingly been woven into the bargain.

Some other time, Azriel, you can fuck me.

That’s the only way you’re getting that mark off your skin.

[sarah-yyy]

what: period cdrama // 40 eps, roughly 55 mins each  where: youku (you can also dl the app) // youtube // coming up soon on viki (usual disclaimer that i do not use eng subs so i don’t speak to the quality of subs) why: do you love watching a poor little meow-meow get tortured in a variety of ways before he decides to go fuck it, i’ll be a demon lord and kill everyone who wronged me?? do you like enemies to fated to kill you lovers??? do you enjoy PAIN AND SUFFERING??? this is the show for you

meet tantai jin, the cdrama fandom’s newest obsession 

cursed prince of the Jing kingdom who was sent as a hostage to a neighbouring kingdom. he’s been unloved and bullied all his life - think, discarded and left to die by his own father, kicked around by servants, begging for scraps of food, abandoned and slowly betrayed by everyone around him... it’s NOT GOOD buddies, you will watch his life unfold and you will become attached and want to let him do whatever the fuck he wants 

surprise surprise this sad pathetic man will one day become

THE demon lord who destroys all of humanity etc etc. look at this wardrobe upgrade??? amazing. beautiful. bad for humanity but great for him. good job, bud, you did well.

ANYWAY this show opens with demon lord tantai jin (affectionate) going on his lil’ murder spree (understandable). the fate of humanity as we know it to be rests on the shoulders of one li susu

to defeat tantai jin, she will transmigrate to the past into the body of ye xiwu (tantai jin’s evil wife who whips him every night (not in the fun way sorry buds) and tortures/bullies him for because it pleases her) to try to kill him while he’s weak, before he turns evil and amasses power. this is for the good of humanity!!! but also he’s truly so pathetic in the past that she can’t quite seem to put her heart into it (there’s also this whole finding his evil bone and getting rid of that before she can kill him problem but HMMM) and decides that?? maybe if she shows him some care and love??? she’ll subvert his murdermurdermurder tendencies????

this is the gist of the show!! there are a few arcs that we go through like all good xianxia cdramas, so we get to see them live through a few different lives (think: ten miles of peach blossom, pillow book etc etc), and every single dynamic between them is SO GOOD!!!!! we have spicy enemies to lovers!! cutesy arranged marriage between strangers to lovers (who don’t communicate enough for them to be happy)!!! star-crossed lovers fated to kill one another!!! 

the show is so goddamn pretty!! the aesthetics!!! the cgi!!!! the costumes ohmygod, i have never wanted to buy so many headdresses before

LOOK AT THIS!!! HOW PRETTY WAS THIS!!!!

he’s got this whole demon look LOCKED IN who else does it as well as my boy tantai jin

this show is very PRETTY but make no mistake there will be a lot of angst!!! that’s part of what makes it so good!! luo yunxi does Tortured, Feral and Deranged™ SO WELL i weep every time i see him on screen, i have truly not been Okay since this show started airing, buddies please join me in till the end of the moon hell, you will not regret it, promise 😇✨

⚠❗ few post-finale thoughts so y’all go into it with full disclosure (and can’t yell at me for inflicting pain on y’all, just know what i am also Suffering™) - stop reading from here if you want no spoilers for the show at all. 

trigger warning: there is some dubcon in ep 14 (stretches between approx. the 25:00-27:25 min mark) between ming ye and sang jiu 

we were all hoping for a happy ending, but this ends on a bad-open scale, depending on how you look at it. @minmoyu​ has helpfully directed me to a happy audio-epilogue which was apparently shot but didn’t make its way into the episode?? we still dk if the footage will be released as an extra?? we can all form a prayer circle and HOPE i guess

the plot is HMM the further to the end we get, probably because they had to cut the eps down, so it’s a little choppy, esp the last few scenes??? idk idk. it’s a bit exhausting to watch towards the end, because you root for ttj so so much and he tries so so hard and SIGH. i need another few working days to digest this, i’m still a bit :/ about the ending

would i still rec the show, post-watch? yes! this show starts off really solid, and luo yunxi carried the show throughout. like. y’all thought lyx was good in ashes of love?? watch him in this. every single micro-expression was flawless. bai lu’s acting is always so dependable, and it’s the same with this show!  

this show has an a+++ ost (i mean it’s got the king and queen of cdrama osts liu yuning and zhang bichen, literally how could this be bad)!! and CERTAIN side characters are so so good (pian ran my baby girl, ye qingyu who grows on you, decidedly NOT bingchang/tian huan/mo nv although i will concede that chen duling’s acting in this show was Incredible). 

[akiranzee]

in mge, there's a species of ogre known as Bogey. they are drawn to sadness and usually they comfort the person experience it. their embrace is soft and warm, and its known to actually help the person that needs it. (look em up its rather neat.) with this in mind... i was thinking giyuu could use comfort from reader, who is one that senses a LOT from him.

💙 • ° ` — “DEAR OLD FRIEND”

-> PAIRINGS: Giyuu x gn!Merchant!Y/n -> SUMMARY: Two people. One who seeks comfort, and one who gives comfort. -> WORD COUNT: 2.6k+ -> CONTAINS: angsty giyuu, sprinkle of fluff at the end, platonic rs, u’re js friends, bestfriends trope!!, sabito mentioned, comfort, & giyuu is 21 while reader is 20. -> A/N: honestly, i was shocked when i searched up mge bogeys.. it asked me to choose filter on or filter off😭😭.

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------------Complete!------------

The wisp of air that passed along with leaves, the light of the sun that filled in the empty dark alleys, and the breeze of cold seawater in this early morning.

It were all something Giyuu liked.

It were all something that atleast gave him some reason to still live, to still continue with this living torture, to still continue breathing amidst all the crisis and losses he had dealt with. Even now, he is still fighting against the very loss he hated most, he is still battling the guilt that flowed through him every, single, second.

Giyuu decided to jump down from the tree, and reveal himself to the pure nature around him. It had relieved him and freed him from all the stress, constantly and continuously strolling around the open park in his free time.

Although, he was here many times, more so, every day, he had seen an unfamiliar face today.

One that wore a smiley, happy-go-lucky expression, one that wore a long-sleeved haori with a white shirt inside, and long baggy pants. Needless to say, they were a foreign sight to him, but they looked as if like they were long close with the townspeople.

But Giyuu realized, that they weren’t just a random stranger, they were behind a stand, perhaps the one selling things that looked exquisite and eye-catchy enough that had caught the townspeople’s attention.

When the crowd slowly died out, Giyuu decided to approach you and see what were the things you were selling, only to see that your stand was freshly cleaned.

Awkwardness, he slowly retreated back, not wanting to catch your attention or bother you. But in all unfortunates, you had heard him, even the faintest sound he could ever produce.

“Ah! Mister! Are you here to buy my products?” Cheerly, you asked the man who looked at you like he’s seen a ghost.

“...” Slowly, he nodded, but you only chuckled, “okay! Make sure you’ll be here tomorrow once the sun rises, before I run out of stocks again!” You waved him goodbye then, as you shouldered your heavy bag on your back, and walked away.

Before Giyuu could even talk, you were already out of his sight. But he was wondering why, why did he feel a rush of excitement or a rush of impatience for tomorrow to come. It was just the same after all, wasn’t it? He’d have missions to accomplish, have demons to kill, and have another day to live on whilst carrying so many burdens on his shoulders.

He walked away too, feeling the cold breeze hit his face, as he slowly closed his eyes, wanting to feel relief and relaxed amongst them. But then again, he felt like something was missing. Even the things he liked, the refreshing wind, the illuminating sunlight, and the sea breeze are all in front and around him, he still felt as if he was not complete, nor enough yet.

~~~~~

June 14, XXXX.

Once again, the refreshing winds, the illuminating sunlight, and the sea breeze is present, but he still felt the same, feeling that something was missing.

He looked around, looking at his surroundings, as people do their own whatevers, a group of elderly gossiping in the background, merchants calling customers to their stalls, couples relaxing, families enjoying, and... children running around.

Perhaps it was a mere coincidence that he had remembered something, something that gave him quite the déjà vu. But he was sure the two children running around were like him and Sabito.

The relaxing and relieving feeling he once felt has now faded, soon replaced by a pang of hurt and grief.

Sabito was more than a friend to him, he was like a brother, or a guardian angel to Giyuu. Yet, knowing that Sabito had risked his life just to save him... is just utterly bitter for him. He now has to live with that guilt, bringing it along with him even in his deathbed.

Times like this, Giyuu had always asked if he was worth saving. The answer he’d always reply? No. He does not think he is worth saving, nor worth all the risk. He does not even know where to lead his life anymore, even. All he knows is that he must continue living on for the sake of the sacrifice of his one and only bestfriend.

The soft and gentle whisper of the winds, the good morning of the beautiful, shining sun rays, and the dazzling breeze of the seawater seemed to not comfort him anymore. He wants to let it all out, those tears, emotions, feelings, that he has been keeping hidden since, he wants it all gone.

The guilt was continuously welling up within him, the agony and grief as he remembered the brave sacrifice of his best friend again and again.

But, for whatever surprise that was, someone tapped on his shoulder, that just so happens to be you.

“Mister? Oh! It's you!” Enthusiasm laced your voice, as you greeted him joyfully with a smile of yours brighter than that of the sun.

“...” Giyuu only stared at you as he saw you bringing loads and loads of sacks, perhaps the things you’re selling today.

Giyuu stepped aside as he let you go to your designated spot, yet, for some reason, he had the urge to follow you.

“What were you thinking of, mister? — If you don’t mind me asking, ehe.” Sheepishly, you chuckled and smiled, as you placed down the sacks you dragged all the way here.

“...Thoughts.” He replied nonchalantly, but his inner mind has been deep in thoughts. Of course he wouldn’t tell you about Sabito.

“Haha, of course they are thoughts! But what kind of thoughts?” Tilting your head a little as you continued setting your stand for the day.

“...What are you selling?” Obviously, he changed the topic. But you paid it no mind, and answered his question, “oh! I sell these potions, ancient and historical scrolls, and these rope-like ornaments to bring good luck to you demon slayers!” You had quite the variety to show, especially when all these were really foreign to him.

“Hmm... good luck, you say?” But amongst all those, one particular thing caught his eye, which was the rope-like ornament, specifically color white and blue.

“How much is this?” He had already kept the rope within his pockets, “that would be ¥274.24!” A change of coins happened, the clinking of it was a nice sound to your ears.

He stood there awkwardly, as he didn’t know what to say now.

“Mister... did you know those kids over there?” you pointed at the children that were running around, that made Giyuu remember of Sabito. Shaking his head no, you simply nodded, “well, let me tell you. They were actually three best of friends. But the other one died due to the incurable disease, cancer. When I saw the both of them sitting on the sides the other day, I asked them, and they told me what happened. I felt sad and pity for them, especially to the deceased child. But did you know what the other kid said? He said it was okay, because his friend was now in heaven. But of course, he couldn’t keep his tears from falling out, and ended up wetting my haori with snot. It just... never fails to amaze me how a child’s mind could think of something so positive like that, even in the midst of darkness. Hehe..” You giggled sheepishly, as you just noticed how Giyuu attentively listened, and that his quiet-nonchalant-chill-cool guy facade slowly broke little by little, as you saw his emotions right through his eyes.

Giyuu departed almost immediately, not even bidding you goodbye. But you understood well enough, that Giyuu was like that of a child, too.

He too, was like the child, keeping a facade to keep the sadness from flowing out, but they will always fail to hide their longing.

Least to say, Giyuu thought well about it. He sat on the sides, and tied the rope on the scabbard of his sword. He thought too, if Sabito was happy and well off in heaven, or if that truly exists, or if heaven was just a mere child’s imagination.

He was still well off in the grieving stage, even after all these years, he could never accept the loss he had suffered. He wished then, right at that moment, that he was still a child and never grew up, so that he could still be with Sabito, and so that he could never feel this way again.

~~~~~

Days passed, until Giyuu showed up again. It took him three days to complete the mission Oyakata-sama gave him, which was the complete reason why he couldn’t show up. But now that he’s here, and you’re here, things are back to normal.

“Hello. I’d like to purchase this.” Giyuu presented a mini, thin, book in front of you, one of your bestselling and expensive ones.

“Ah...! Mr. Tomioka, welcome back. Yes, let me just..” as an exchange of coins happened, Giyuu never failed to look at you, and none other. His eyes were placed on you as you counted the coins slowly and properly, as his eyes landed on one particular thing. The rope-like ornament that he bought a few days back; swinging by your hips. He looked at his, too, and realized that the colors of the ornaments matched. You, too, had white and blue as your color of the rope-like ornament.

You traced where his eyes landed, and chuckled; “would you like to buy again?” It took Giyuu aback, but he eagerly shook his head no. “Are they your favorite color?” Suddenly, he asked out of pure curiosity; “yes! they complement each other so well — and blue is the most mesmerizing color I have ever seen! — just like your eyes.” gently, you smiled at him that made his heart melt. No one after Sabito had ever smiled at him like that. And that made him all the more happy.

~~~~~

Days, weeks, months, and almost a year had passed as your friendship grew.

And you never fail to see how his eyes would darken, how he’d grow silent, and how he’ll try to change the topic whenever he sees children having fun, or if you talk about them.

It had made you sad about his well-being, yet, he had rejected almost all of your comforting offers, because both you and him know that the longing will not fade ‘till thousands of years to come by.

“Y/n! Y/n!” A child-like voice called out, as you saw Tomoko, one of the children that you and Giyuu both befriended, and the same child that reminded him of his bond with Sabito.

It took you aback, really. You’ve never seen Tomoko that excited and happy ever since his friend’s passing. Immediately, his arms wrapped around your hips, almost making you stumble back, “look! Look! I found Aruno’s diary!” The excitement was obvious in Tomoko’s eyes as he eagerly flipped the pages of his deceased friend’s diary.

Hastily, he pulled your hand and forced you to sit down by the gathers, as Giyuu followed along. “Y/n! Can you read this to me, please? I can’t really understand his handwriting..” He flipped a few pages forth, and tapped on the page that contained quite a lot for a diary.

June 18, 10XX I met two friends, Tomoko and Naroi! They were really kind, and I had a great time with them! We played the whole afternoon, and went home at night! My mom called me home though, so I was a little sad. That night, I really couldn’t sleep. It was the first time I had friends after a long time! I was really excited for the next day that I couldn’t wait! I ended up sneaking out and writing this diary, as I count how many stars there are in the sky. I managed to count just 78 — but I immediately lost track when I felt something behind me! But it was just my friend Patrick — our neighbor’s cat! It was soo fun playing with Patrick, but when he scratched me, I got scared and didn’t go near him. But now that he’s here, maybe I should forgive him, right? I love you too Patrick! Well then, going back, Patrick is now laying on my lap, I lost count of the stars, but whatever! There will still be tomorrow night and next times to count the stars!

October 23, 10XX It’s been a long time since I wrote here, hehe. Well, honestly, I got an illness called cancer. I didn’t know what it was, but when mom explained it to me, I was so scared. She told me not to tell Tomoko and Naroi, but I feel soo bad for hiding it from them. I mean, friends should know and share everything, right? We promised no secrets! But mom said that it was for the better and I believe her!

November 1, 10XX Today, just a while ago, I saw mom crying. I didn’t know why, but she explained it to dad, but I can’t hear her. She was mumbling this and that, but I cried too, I didn’t want my mom sad.

November 10, 10XX I’m scared and I can’t stop crying. Mom said we need to go somewhere, but this place doesn’t look fun at all... I see people laying down in beds, with bandages and blood. It’s scary, but my mom said it’d be alright after a few days...

November 30, 10XX Mom lied... it wasn’t just a few days, I’ve been here for weeks and I’ve turned bald, now. What about my friends? What if Tomoko and Naroi laugh at me? But mom said true friends will accept me for who I am! My hair also was slowly falling off, so they decided to cut it.. I’m really scared.. I don’t look like how I used to be..

December 12, 10XX I met my friends again, but Tomoko and Naroi weren’t all that excited.. are they mad at me? For not showing up many months? They look at me so scarily, like they feel sad for me.. but I don’t want that.. I’m strong, aren’t I? Mom said so..

December 18, 10XX My eyes are heavy, like I just wanna sleep forever.. I can’t really breathe right, I feel like there’s a booger stuck in my nose, a huge one.. I think I’m growing weak, I just wanna rest forever, lay in bed even if this is not as comfy as the one at home.. I hate seeing my mom cry.. and I miss Tomoko and Naroi..

“...waah..” Tomoko’s eyes spilled his tears, as his sobs were getting louder and louder.

“...waaaaaaahh!! I-I hic- I didn‘t know Aruno- wah- had to go through all- hic- t-that...!!” Tomoko tried to wipe his tears, but only served useless as it only multiplied. After all, what could be more heartbreakening if not for a child whom only wished for a simple life?

“T-Tomoko...!” Tomoko ran away, perhaps trying to hide the tears uselessly, trying to save his tough facade. But, it was already broken from the moment those words were written in that diary. And same went to the man beside you, his tough facade too, slowly fading away.

“G-Giyuu.. a-are you crying?” You asked nervously, you never planned any of this to happen.

“I wonder... if Sabito thought the same.” He didn’t even try to hide his tears, he let it all flow out, as he knew; trying to hide his tears would never take away his pain and guilt. He only stared at the now dark sky, looking up at the moon that served as the light in the dark night.

“This Sabito... was he... like Aruno?” You knew you had this coming, but you didn’t expect Giyuu would break over a child’s diary, despite him keeping up the good work of hiding his feelings away.

“No. He killed himself for me. I should’ve... been the one in his place right now, if I wasn’t so cowardly.” This time, he looked down, as he relived that day, the day that he lost his one and only bestfriend.

“Wha-! D-Don’t say that, Giyuu-kun! I’m sure he did that for the better!”

“Yet he died for the worst.”

“Did he... sacrifice himself?”

“He wanted to protect all of us, and charged on straight to the demons. I wanted to fight by his side, but it was too late. And I could... only watch.” He chuckled at the last sentence, remembering his petty choices and past patheticness.

“I’m sure he did that with no regrets, Giyuu.. I’m sure that was what he wanted, to keep all of you safe and sound.”

“Yet it was in an exchange for his life!”

“Death is inevitable!”

“He was only thirteen!” You gasped. You never thought children would be fighting demons so early. So it was... what? Few? Many? Years ago and yet he still has kept it within him?

“But... he sacrificed himself for all of you, Giyuu.. you can’t keep blaming yourself, it was his choice..”

“He had no choice! He was the only one who could fight amongst all of us! Stronger than I am!”

“Exactly! And that’s why he protected the weak!”

“Yet even the weakest can do something! I could’ve been the one to charge on straight to the demon, but no — it was him instead!” His sobs were getting out of control, as he looked at you with eyes just like Tomoko’s.

“But you couldn’t fight! If you truly wanted to switch places, then you wouldn’t be here now, you wouldn’t be-”

“Then I wish I died instead of him!” Silence filled the air as your bicker had stopped. You scooched closer to him, and pat his back, slowly.

“He did that for you to live a better life, Giyuu.. even if you hate him with all your life for doing that, it wouldn’t change the fact that he wanted nothing more but for you to succeed.”

“You can’t make me think otherwise, Y/n.” This was a version of Giyuu that you hadn’t known until today. It was as if he was not the Giyuu you once knew, it’s as if he turned into one that is so resentful, and angry.

“...So what? Are you just gonna let his sacrifice go to waste, as if it was nothing, knowing that the main purpose of it all was because he wanted you to live on to this day!? Is it so wrong for you to atleast give credit to yourself? Correct me if I’m wrong — but I know for a fact that he wanted you to live on to this day — every single day, so that you could help those in need, protect those who’re weak, and continue on his last, and final wish!”

“...” Giyuu only said nothing, nor does he even have anything to retort back. You were right, but it doesn’t make his guilt fade. It didn’t help at all, that he was only a mere bystander on Sabito’s fight, not his bestfriend.

“Sabito... would really like for you to continue on living, despite the hardships and adversities you’ve gone through... after all, wasn’t he the sole inspiration you had all this time? To reach the highest, and kill all those demons.. but you don’t have to live your life repeating those things...! There are so many wonders and beauty of this world that you have yet to discover... as a merchant, I’ve travelled from different villages, cities, districts, until I’ve reached here...! Please, don’t let Sabito’s sacrifice go in vain. I’m sure he had no second thoughts, nor regrets — because he only wanted you to live your life and experience every single thing! The guilt may not wash away — but I’m sure, once you see my point, you wouldn’t have to live with that anymore because Sabito doesn’t even blame you. He did that, and he knew his choice — because he wanted you to reach this day, and tomorrow.” A string in his heart had been pulled, he felt like he was suffocated as your hands hovered over his. “So please... don’t give up... atleast for me...”

He really didn’t know what Sabito wanted back at that moment. But if Sabito really has any regrets, then why didn’t he look back in hesitation, right before he charged on to the demon?

“Giyuu-kun, tomorrow, let’s meet here again, and let’s go to a different place, so that by the day our time has come, we will leave no regrets.”

★ • ° ` — BONUS:

The days has passed, and Giyuu had left the Demon Slayer Corps. Truth be told, he really didn’t want to leave, as half of his life and memories had been imprinted there, but he wanted to find the meaning of his life, just as you told him.

“Giyuu-kun! Over there! I see a starfish!” You pointed across the shore and ran over to the starfish, and decide to poke it. A giggle left your mouth as Giyuu picked it up and put it on top of your head.

“Oh you think you‘re so funny, huh!?” Immediately, you splashed seawater at him, and his laughter echoed the whole beach.

It was the first time he had let out a hearty laugh, and definitely not the last, because you’re there, his new bestfriend.

a/n: im ok w JUST being his bsf guys, i swear

[kodamaghost00]

30 Charlie headcanons

———————————��———————

[Disclaimer!!]

I know Chaggie is canon but for the sakes of this post Charlie will be single. [Im a passionate chaggie shipper pls don’t kill me]

This post will contain: NSFW,Sfw, Fluff, Smut

It's also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You're a new resident at the Hotel in this scenario.

———————————————————

Let’s begin!

Her favorite nicknames for you are “Sunshine” and “Pumpkin”. And everything sweet in general.

She makes you breakfast every morning and gets excited when you do the same.

Loves morning cuddles. She’d stay in bed just enjoying the embrace and warmth of your body.

Would not really understand your interests but enjoys seeing you being happy. So she will engage and learn about your interests and hobbies. “So you’re into that? Sounds interesting, Sunshine!”

She is definitely an early sleeper. She wants to get the most out of a day as possible.

Listens to 2017 white girl music on a daily basis and you guys vibe all the time.

After she got to meet Rosie she always went to her for advice or help in general.

She gets very flustered and ashamed when people as about her sexual life and declines to talk about it openly.

She likes PDA a lot though. Showing off her perfect partner with kisses and hand holding? Fuck yeah!

She definitely confessed her love to you first. She gave you flowers and a love letter wich read “Please be mine and go on a date with me!”. With an adorable doodle next to it.

She’s more of a dog person but loves KeeKee with her whole heart.

She’s is surprisingly dominant in bed. She pins you down aggressively but afterwards asks you if you are okay with it.

She is very flexible so there are many poses you guys could try out.

She enjoys oral a bit more than anything else. Seeing you shutter under her control makes her feel very reassured.

She definitely goes into her demon form when she’s close. Her tail wrapping around her waist trying to keep her composer.

Great at aftercare. She makes sure you feel reassured and comfortable once you’re finished. Cuddles and kisses are a must.

“Are you comfortable pumpkin? Would you like a towel?” And also whispering reassurance to you is important. “You did great by the way… you look so cute!”. A total sweetheart.

She is great with all sorts of people. Even the ones who are really disrespectful to her. So sometimes you keep those people in place.

Won’t curse until she needs to. She isn’t really going hard on the curses when she does curse. A simple “Fuck you” or “Motherfucker” is enough for her.

She absolutely adores kids. She also wants at least two in the future.

Gets shy easily. When you compliment her hair or her big round eyes she gets flustered right away.

In her emo phase she definitely said “ITS NOT A PHASE!” and now she looks back on it and laughs every time.

Hopes she will see Emily again one day. They definitely had a great time together.

If you’re not able to sleep at night she’s singing you to sleep. With your head on her lap and her playing with your hair.

LOVED the Barbie movie and rewatched it twice. And cried at the ending.

She is an hardworking woman so she’s encouraging you to help her out a lot. Trying to make you feel included!

When she gets overwhelmed she locks herself in her room and cries herself to sleep.

“Hey Charlie…? Are you okay…?” You asked knowing she’s feeling down. “Y-yeah! I’m fine pumpkin… don’t worry!!” “You don’t have to pretend my love…”

She sighed as she opened her door. You see her puffed up eyes so you open your arms wide. “Come here…” she hugs you deeply. “Thank you…”

You kiss her forehead as she embraces the hug. “No need to thank me sweetheart.”

———————————————————

Yes I know no one asked for this but I love Charlie so you gotta listen to me rant about her. Give my girly more love and attention! So as always I’d love to get some requests for characters, I’ll try to do all of them but there’s so many! Thanks for reading my dear friends and have a lovely day/night!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

[nettleclanstale]

Writings of NettleClan #2- Bumbletumble

Bumbletumble Oneshot

The sky was crimson, and the trees were black.

Bumbletumble padded down the seemingly endless trail, mentally taking note of the way it weaved and winded around the decaying trees. The air, which felt stuffy and thick, was filled with the sour scent of death. The scent of prey gone bad.

Sensing a presence before her, Bumbletumble paused. She looked forward, keeping her ears perked and nose twitching in interest.

A brown and white she-cat stood a few lengths away, her tail swaying back and forth. Blood dripped onto the ground from a long, deep wound in her belly. 

"No..." Bumbletumble whispered, taking a step back. "Hazelstar, please, I'm sorr-"

It was like she just blinked, and next thing she knew Hazelstar was on top of her, front paws on her throat. Bumbletumble writhed and gasped, letting out ragged sobs and doing anything in her power to push the stocky she-cat off of her. A cold feeling of dread filled her when she put her own paws onto Hazelstar's chest, only to see them stained with blood.

When she looked up at Hazelstar's face, it had morphed and distorted into a disturbing version of itself. The satisfied grin on the former leader's face widened as she pressed down harder on Bumbletumble's throat, making her world fade to black around her.

"Go ahead, Bumble, push me off. Kill me if you want to." She taunted. "You already have blood on your paws anyway."

As Bumbletumble's vision faded out completely, Hazelstar had some final words for her.

"You'll end up in the same place as me, anyway."

...

With a gasp, Bumbletumble jolted awake. She looked around, fur bristled and eyes wide, before realizing she was snuggled safely in the warrior's den. The familiar sights and scents of her clanmates' pelts huddled around her, soft snores heard.

Another nightmare.

Another star-damned nightmare.

Panting, Bumbletumble looked down at her paws, expecting the dark red stains to be there. To her relief, they were clean.

At least, physically.

She knew she hadn't been herself lately. Dewshade, Hazybloom, and Ambershard's deaths had put her mind in a horrible haze. Every single day she felt like her mind was filled with a thick cloud of smoke she couldn't get rid of. Her heart felt heavy, and sometimes just getting through the day proved itself to be a daunting task. She spent most of her time shuffling around camp nowadays, fixing up dens and picking up loose debris. 

One of the things she recently found out she enjoyed was making toys out of moss, sticks, and leaves for the kits. Well, kit. Alderkit was the only one in the nursery right now. 

Hauling herself to her paws, Bumbletumble left the warrior's den. She was careful not to step on any loose tails or paws as she made her way to the clearing.

She looked up at the moon. Judging by its placement, it was early morning.

Bumbletumble sighed, quietly making her way to the entrance. All she needed was some water. She could feel how damp her fur was from sweating so much.

But it's hot, She thought, trying to reason with herself and pry her wandering thoughts away from her nightmare. We have so many warriors. That's a lot of fur...

She continued, soon stopping when she reached the river's edge. The current was calm, meaning the water was safe to drink.

As Bumbletumble leaned down, lapping at the cool water and holding back a purr when the soothing liquid flowed down her throat, a voice behind her made her flinch.

"Mom...?"

Bumbletumble turned, smiling when she realized it was only Hawkheart. Her son returned the smile as he trotted over to her, sitting beside her and pressing his head against her shoulder. 

"You should be asleep," Bumbletumble murmured, rasping her tongue over Hawkheart's head to fix some ruffled fur. "Did you follow me?"

"I saw you leave." Hawkheart replied, so fast it was almost like he knew what Bumbletumble was going to say. "I wanted to make sure you were okay...You've been looking so tired...Meadowbreeze and I are worried."

Bumbletumble nodded, a low hum escaping her as she looked away.

"I'll be alright," She said, her voice gentle. "I just have a lot of thoughts..."

Her gaze wandered, settling in the direction of NettleClan's burial grounds. So many cats she loved and cherished lay there, including her littermates, her father, and her own son.

Hawkheart followed his mother's gaze, whiskers twitching. He made a noise, frowning.

"I miss Maplekit sometimes." He finally stated after a moment of silence. 

"I miss him too. I miss him every day." Bumbletumble replied, drawing her ears back slightly. "It's a shame. You two would've been amazing warriors together..." 

"Will you ever have more kits?" Hawkheart asked, looking up at Bumbletumble with a hopeful glint in his eyes. 

Bumbletumble smirked, touching her nose to Hawkheart's. "Maaaybe. Who knows, maybe you have more siblings on the way now!" She purred in amusement, making Hawkheart giggle. "It all depends on your father, really."

"What's my father like? What's his name?"

Bumbletumble chuckled. "Curious tonight, are we? Well, his name is Hayquill. He was a clancat, a QuailClan cat to be exact, but decided that the life of a loner is better for him. Surprisingly he looks nothing like you...He's gray."

Hawkheart nodded, listening intently. "Is he nice?"

"Oh, very. You remind me so much of him..." Bumbletumble replied. "You're both very troublesome, but...You're both kind. And gentle...I couldn't ask for better cats in my life. You two...And Meadowbreeze, of course...Mean the world to me."

"Aww, mama..." Hawkheart's expression softened, and for just a moment Bumbletumble saw the same little kit who used to wake her up in the middle of the night. The same kit who, upon finding out Maplekit was sick, made sure his brother had the softest moss and tastiest prey. The same kit who Bumbletumble stayed up with for hours on the night before his apprentice ceremony, talking about his fears, his wants, his dreams. 

The same kit she loved so much.

Trying to hide her forming tears, Bumbletumble nuzzled into Hawkheart's fur, purring loudly when he returned the gesture. "I love you." She told him.

"I love you too, Mama. A lot of us do. Please don't forget that."

The two cats remained there for a long, long while, talking quietly and sharing tongues until the moon began to set.

For the first time in a long while, Bumbletumble's heart felt lighter, even if only for a brief moment. And she was grateful. 

End.

[ateriblewriter]

I’m Here (t.z)

a/n: i’m having big feelings tonight. and yeah. im really sorry for this. most of this is under a read more for a reason that will become very clear. please be careful. It might not be for you. im sorry.

TRIGGERS: self harm, self worth, hinting at other things (if you or anyone ever needs help please do reach out)

enjoy?

You woke up to the phone ringing, the paper you had gotten for your report sat on the table in front of you blank. When did you fall asleep? You don’t remember doing that.  You needed to keep up on your work, you couldn’t let yourself fall anymore behind than you already were.

Your phone going through its ringing cycle broke you out of your trance once again. You had a feeling you knew who it was. Trevor had started to call you a couple times a day once you stopped showing up at the usual hangout spot. You ignored every single phone call. Maybe if you ignored him, he would forget about you. Like he should. You were not a good person.

You felt terrible about doing that. You couldn’t let him know what the problem was. You didn’t want to be the monster that wiped the smile off his face. It would have killed you even more to see that happen and be the one to have done that. No, it was better to ignore the problem and leave him be.

Half an hour after the phone rang there was a sharp knock at the door. You could only imagine who it was. He shouldn’t be here.

“Open up Y/N.” Trevor knocked frantically. “Come one. I know you’re home. Just come to the door. Please.”

“Go away, Z .” You quietly mumbled walking up to the door. You knew you were a bother to him, just a worthless bother. A monster some would say.

“If I go away, I’m only going to come back with reinforcements and I don’t think you want them knocking at your door.” He was right. You didn’t want Jamie or any of the others tearing down the gateway to your home. It would be too much for you and you knew you would do something even more drastic than you already have.

You rolled down the sleeves of your sweater to cover the fresh scars that adorned your wrists. You didn’t want him to see the extent of your punishments. You needed everything to seem like it was fine. Maybe then he could go back to not checking in on you. Taking a deep breath you opened the door.

“Fuck.” The way you looked worried Trevor. He knew your inner demons could sometimes come out to haunt you over the little imperfections you made in life. He wasn’t expecting this. You had changed, and it scared the shit out of him. Gone was your beautiful smile and bright eyes, only to be replaced with pale tear stained cheeks, dark rings around your eyes, and an unkept mop of hair that looked nowhere near its usual lush perfection. It frightened him seeing how dead inside you looked.

The unease in his voice hit you. You were making him feel like that. That was the monster in you. Something you couldn’t contain. You couldn’t stand to see him anymore. You fucked everything up by being yourself, your stupid worthless self.

“What happened?” You just stared at him. Your voice failed you at that moment. You wanted to tell him to go away and leave you alone. But the words weren’t there. “Y/N. Please talk to me.” he pleaded urgently.

“You shouldn’t be here Z. I’m not worth it.” Tears started to slide down your face. He couldn’t be here. He needed to leave. Now.

“Y/N don’t say that. Please don’t ever say that.”

You didn’t answer as the door swung open and his hand reached for your wrist. You tried not to wince at the contact. Trevor noticed this. Shoving the sleeve of your sweater up, he saw them. The marks you had made.

“What have you done?” He mumbled panic and fear making their way to his face and voice. That hurt even more. You did that. How could you do that? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You slumped to the ground into a sobbing ball.

“Hey. No no no no. It’s okay. shh. It's okay. It’ll be alright” he sunk to the ground and held you in his arms. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Leave me.” You murmured quietly. “Please just let me go. Leave me be. I’m not worth the pain. I’m a horrendous monster that doesn’t deserve to be here.”

Trevor didn’t know what to say. This time his words failed him. He just wants you to be okay. He needed you to be okay. But all he could do was sit there and hold onto you as you told him what a waste of space you were.

Once again really sorry. I was feeling some big feelings.

Please let me know what y’all think. Let me know your thoughts, comments, and complaints!

Please vote if you want this story to possibly continue and how

[liquidstar]

Okay so like I know little about ReZero (would love to watch it one day but, the content warnings) BUT I love people talking about things they like so. Assuming this isnt already a plot point, who in your opinion would be the FUNNIEST character to also be aware of/remember the time loops (Subaru in this case does NOT know they are in on it lol). If this is already a plot point please tell me about a neat bird or something you saw recently instead, thank you :)

THATS SO SWEEET THANK YOU <3 I ENJOY IT TOO SO IF YOU EVER WANNA INFODUMP ABT STUFF MY INBOX IS OPEN ^_^

ANYWAY. UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS A PLOTPOINT AND ITS NOT FUNNY </3

in the 4th arc subaru meets this witch lady, echdina, who kinda exists in a dreamworld, hard to explain, but shes aware of his timeloops. she implies that shes aware but tries to get him to say it himself. which he does so veeerrry hesitantly because he cant tell anyone Or Else. but after he realizes he can say it here, he has like, a total breakdown and keeps repeating his confession over and over again because he can finally tell someone about all this pain and suffering. and its an incredibly cathartic scene buuuuut she is very much manipulating him.

another character is vaguely aware of the loops but doesnt experience them/cant see them. that character is roswaal who is actually his boss. and the guy who has literally been PERSONALLY causing every single fucking issue hes had so far because some book told him to. and when things start going wrong he starts to, like, kick the shit out of subaru to try and get him to restart. yeah bosses are like that sometimes idk. everyone takes turns punching him at the end of this arc so its fine.

personally though if i had to pick a character whod be aware of the loops... id actually go with otto despite Everything. because i think hes the most likely to come out of the experience of watching his friend die horribly and come up with a plan, while also genuinely having subaru's best interest at heart. he doesnt care about anyone elses best interest tho, he was willing to let an entire country die for this guy. hes willing to kill the child he just adopted. so i think otto being aware would cause some fucking situations, especially if theyre not working together for a solution. i also think itd be funny if hes like "if we get gay in the timeloop no one has to know. ill just play dumb."

SO YEAH hes my pick for funniest one. all that being said im pretty sure i wrote up an episode by episode trigger guide if youre ever interested, i might have to touch it up tho. BUT if youre not interested theres never any pressure, this ask is already so sweet tysm again <3

[yandere-kokeshi]

— You deserve the world

Pairing: Yandere overhaul x female quirkless darling

Request(ed?): Yes! - Heyo!!! could I have Overhaul with an female darling (who is quirkless) gets taken hostage? — submitted by overhaul anon!

Warnings: stockholm Syndrome/and yandere behavior and violence.

Author Note: Thank you so so much!! Overhaul is my favorite villian. Feel free to request again!!

Overhaul is known for his villain ways: wanting to get rid of germs of the world and protect the most important person in the world. He tried his best to make sure you always felt comfortable, no matter how tired he was or how touch-starved he was towards you; your needs were and always are higher than his.

Any call towards his name with the voice of his beloved was more important, especially right now. His mind was racing per second, thinking the worst cases possible.

All he wanted was to keep you safe, the reason he took you to your new home. But, while he was trying to finish some paperwork; called to rearrange a meeting with a group of lousy villains, they had broken in, trapping him in a room with smart moves while killing any guards and then… Taking you in the process.

He was angered, fists clenching in worry as he walked down the disgusting corridors of the hidden base the villains decided to take cover in. All he could think was the ‘if’s’.

What if they touched you with their disgusting germs?

What if you got hurt, would it be infected?

What if they hurted you and you were gone?

What if…. So many of them surrounded his head like a cartoon show.

He wanted to crush every single one of them, cause them enough pain, the amount he felt when his heart shattered when he saw you being taken away from the security cameras.

Overhaul killed anyone who deemed to stop him or let alone get in his path, the whole base looked like a brutal murder scene: blood on the walls, floor, even on his clothes and mask.

He didn’t bother cleaning the blood that splattered on him, nor did he worry about it. All he wanted was to come get you and make sure you were okay.

—

“You're quite stubborn, ain’t ya?”

A pool of blood mixed with spit dripping down your jaw. Your breathing was heavier than normal, time was lost to you. It could've been a few hours or a whole day since you were taken, the men watched you like a snake ready to pounce on its prey.

All you were doing was laying in your room, waiting for Kai to be done with work till you door busted open: two men grabbing you and throwing you over one of their shoulders, covering your mouth with some type of rag before you passed out.

You woke up with a pounding headache, as well as a cut lip and your nose bleeding from the impact of the slap they did to wake you up.

The greasy man, in front of you, lit a freshly drawn cigarette, taking a deep inhale, while blowing the smoke towards your face. “Now, how much long do you think you’ll hold this up?”

You refused to look at him, gagging at the heavy smell of smoke mixed with copper.

Your body was in pain, a few scratches on your face, along with a bruise on your cheek; throbbing every time you slightly moved.

From the sound of screeching of his chair and the loud footsteps forward, he showed himself, yanking the back of your hair and making you face him: “I can hold as long as I can, trust me. I can see why Overhaul would want a pretty thing like yourself.”

You kept a stone-face, not wanting to show the enemy the pleasure of you being scared but; it was thinning out, all you wanted was to be in Kai’s presence.

“Yeah… I think i’ve found something to enjoy, darlin’,” The man spoke loudly, causing the two lackeys to snicker.

Before anyone could manage to say anything, loud clutter noises were heard down the hall, being stifled through the thick walls, constant and growing closer.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, a warmth of relief spread through your stomach.

“The hell…?” One of the men by the door, guarding, pulled out his gun.

“Don’t ask me! Go check it.” The leader barked. The man who was by the door side-eyed the man next to him and unlocked the door, two of them walking out to check the noises.

As the door closed shut with a loud bang, the leader turned back to you with a sly smirk. “Now, where were we—”

There was a loud slam against the door to the room: a large, rounded dent showing in the thick metal. Then, another pound came, adding a newer, thicker bulge to the door.

By the time you counted down to one, the door was thrown across the room, knocking into one of the men: blood seeping under it as it spread against the greasy floors.

Kai showed himself in the doorway, golden eyes that shone in the low-light. In just a moment with him connecting eyes with yours, it showed a wave of relief and rage; his eyebrows pressing against each other once he saw the position you were in.

The man, somehow, screamed at his other men to attack, though Overhaul was on a warpath, wanting to kill every single last of them till he could get his end goal: you.

One of the men thought it was a good idea to start shooting at him; ringing the bullets till he was all out, until, his upper body was destroyed.

You couldn’t help but watch closely, seeing him move through the room, calculating, quick, and aggressive eye movements towards you and the men; snapping through the men in half like they were twigs, blood splattering on the walls and ceiling. These men were stupid, not highly smart to think they’d even survive Overhaul’s quirk and his tactical moves against them.

Each time, the men either were destroyed or collapsed, laying dazed on the ground. All while he was fighting them, his eyes were glazed over in a look of fury and duty. Except, whenever he looked towards you, quick looks that showed apologetic and worried gaze, saying “I’m sorry, please hold on.”

He was killing the last of the men, when you felt a hand grip your hair, yanking it back while digging a gun into your temple; feeling the metal shake from the leader.

Overhaul spun around, his sight set on the handgun. His body tensed, and for a minute, you saw pure fright through his golden orbs before they rounded back to a glare, meeting the gaze of the man who had hurted you and held you captive.

“Don’t fucking take a single step,” The man stated, digging the metal more into your head: threatening the stoic yakuza who he knew had the upper ground.

As the man gripped your hair tightly, the gash on your face started to dribble down your neck, mixing with the torn and bloodied shirt you were wearing.

“You come any closer — and her brain turns into confetti.”

Kai was angered, fists clenching in fear and unpredictableness. His terrifying golden-eyes that shook you to the core, as he stared hard.

Within a second, a loud bang and the connection of your body hitting the floor, hard. Blaring noises surrounded you: gun shots, alarms blaring, and muffled screaming.

As you blinked multiple times, trying to refocus your vision and the now high-pitched ringing in your ears; the heavy scent of copper and rapid sizzling surrounded you.

You couldn’t see what happened, but from the view of the blood splattered against the room and the muffled noises; the voice in your head told you, Kai was giving a thorough, yet justified, beating to the man who dared to touch you.

As you lifted your head, you saw Kai’s silhouette walking towards you, gently pulling your form and the chair upright. As he twisted and untied the knot on the ropes, attempting to safely free you; he kept glancing at you, before saying something.

“When we get home, I'm gonna clean and disinfect your injuries. After that, we’ll bathe you.” Kai stated. It was quiet before he spoke up again once the ropes were off. “Are you hurt anywhere...else? ”

You mumbled a small no, exhausted by the pulsing adrenaline.

You pulled away briefly, feeling tears run down your face, a type of relief leaving your body. His gloved hand gently padded them away, careful to not apply any pressure. You had no idea how much you missed him until you locked eyes into each other, seeing the worry in his eyes present.

Your stomach swirlied, feeling nauseous. You started to reflexively pull at your torn clothes around your chest until you felt the warmth of Kai’s jacket covering you. It smelled like clean sheets, smelling just like — him.

As you went to turn to look at him, he covered your eyes with his gloved hand.

“Please don’t move my hand,” He stated, he doesn’t need you to look at the bloody mess he caused to get to you; something you shouldn’t and never see.

He hooked his right arm under your legs and picked you up bride-style, keeping his other hand over your eyes. You rested your head against his beating chest, trying to feel less-lightheaded.

As Kai sped-walked from the scene, he noticed your fatigue state. “Oi, hey.” he called, carefully poking the side of your head a few times to rouse you. “Stay with me, please.”

“M’ sleepy…” You mumbled, trailing off unwillingly from the dizziness and heard him slightly curse as he hastily moved faster.

As he kept glancing at your passed out state, he made a promise to make sure that this mistake won’t happen again and that nothing would hurt you, ever again.

Even if it includes his death in the process.

—

Masterlist | Requests closed (7/24/2022)

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

[camilaxmartin]

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

[parsnips-and-meth]

Boiling Over (Part 1)

Hi! This is my first time posting an exclusive tumblr whump piece - I hope you enjoy. This one features some Todoroki whump, BKTD and a little bit of Dadzawa. Includes: Fever, Vomiting, Vertigo.

__________________________

He should have listened to Bakugou. 

            Shouto had woken this morning in a feverish haze. Shirt clinging with sweat, ears ringing. He’d nearly fallen and cracked his head open on the desk trying to get out of bed. But he’d put it down to quirk overuse – yesterday had been intensive. It wasn’t unusual for his body to overcompensate… or undercompensate. 

            He’d sat panting on the tatami mats, right hand pressed to the back of his neck. It had been soothing, and after a few minutes, he felt more centred. Certainly not bad enough to miss training. Besides – he was sure his temperature would regulate by lunch. 

            He had been wrong. 

            Bakugou was glaring at him over his mapo tofu. He stabbed around in the sauce for a while as Shouto shivered, yet to even pick up his chopsticks. There was nothing appealing about his soba today. The sight of the noodles sitting slumped and wet like fat, brown earthworms made his stomach churn. 

            “You’re an idiot,” Bakugou hissed, a cube of tofu circling his mouth. Shouto swallowed. “I told you to stay in bed.” 

            Shouto could feel a twisting burning in his chest. He pressed his left hand to his sternum and activated his quirk. 

            “Go back to the dorms,” his boyfriend ordered. “Go back or I’ll fucking kill you.” 

            “There’s only one period left,” Shouto murmured, closing his eyes. The lights in the cafeteria were beginning to coagulate and blur. 

            “I don’t care,” he growled. “You look like shit, Icyhot.” 

            Shouto frowned but didn’t open his eyes. “That’s not very nice. You’re supposed to be nice to me.” 

            “I am nice to you, you stupid fuck.” Bakugou’s calloused hand landed on his cheek, thumb stroking back and forth. “God, Sho, you’re burning.” 

            He opened his eyes and shot Bakugou a soft smile. The blonde just squinted further, clearly not placated. “Just one more period,” Shouto said, “and then I’ll go straight to bed.” 

------------

He should have listened to Bakugou. 

            He didn’t even remember changing into his gym uniform. But he was wearing it – he could feel every single fibre of it tearing at his skin. The grey expanse of Gym Gamma was so wide, so bright today. 

            Oh god. Not once in his life had he ever felt this awful. 

            He was paired with Kirishima for a round of quirk combat in close quarters, but neither he nor the redhead had moved an inch. Shouto could feel his stomach bloating against his waistband, could feel its contents seething. He snaked his right arm around it, hunching his shoulders and taking deep, shuddering breaths.  

It hurt. 

            The sounds of their classmates around them were building, fights underway. Still, Kirishima waited, watching him nervously. Shouto wondered why he didn’t jump at the opportunity – there was no way Shouto was winning this one.��

“Hey, man.” Kirishima’s voice was quiet, “you wanna sit down? You don’t look so good.” 

“Mm,” Shouto grunted. “I’m okay. Just need a minute.” 

“Dude –” 

He straightened up, pushing his shoulders back. A deep, rippling ache spread up from his stomach to his throat. He could taste acid. “Let’s go,” he said, pushing his right foot forward. 

The fight didn’t last long. His ice was sloppy, arching just past where Kirishima stood, and the other boy skidded round and started barrelling towards his left side. Fire licked its way up Shouto’s arm, but the heat was searing, unbearable – his head throbbed, and his vision narrowed, a rotten, sour taste flooding his gums. He put out the flames as his knees buckled, catching his fall with one hand, and clamping the other over his mouth. He could hear Kirishima shout, but it was indecipherable over the tinnitus. Shouto’s oesophagus burned, stomach cramping and knotting, and he burped, saliva sticking to his palm. 

He felt vile.

“You idiot.” Bakugou was next to him. When had he got here? “You stupid, fucking idiot. You never listen.” Shouto shuddered, and he felt his boyfriend’s hand run up his back, gentle, soothing. “You gonna be sick?” 

He couldn’t answer. He dropped his hand and belched again, rocking forward over the floor. Hot saliva rolled off his tongue and hung from his lips in strings. Bakugou moved his other hand up to cup Shouto’s forehead, pushing his hair back. 

“Yaoyorozu, could you make us a bucket, please?” That was Aizawa. His teacher stood in front of him – Shouto could see the scuffs on his black boots. “The rest of you can wait for me in the changing rooms.” 

Shouto heard lots of whispering and shuffling, and then blessed silence. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe – in, out, in, out. A bucket was put in front of him, along with a flannel and bottle of water. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Yaoyorozu asked, voice trembling. 

He heard Bakugou scoff. “He’s chronically stupid.” 

Shouto lurched forward with a dry retch, forehead hitting the rim of the bucket. He moaned, gulping in another round of air. In, out, in, out. Cool fingers brushed against his skin, followed by a hiss. 

“Christ, kid. That’s a nasty fever.” Aizawa took out his phone. “I’m going to call Recovery Girl. Let her know we’re coming.” 

The nausea was so rampant he could feel it in his eyes. Shouto reached out and grabbed at Bakugou’s knee. “No,” he mumbled, “don’t… can’t move –”

He was cut off with another unproductive gag. He felt like he was choking. Bakugou brushed a hand through his hair, hushing him. “Not yet, Sho. When you’re ready.” 

He sobbed as another cramp ripped through his stomach. “Katsuki.”

“It’s okay, Sho. It’s okay, you’re okay –”

He heaved violently, and this time a slurry of undigested food made it into the bottom of the bucket. Bakugou was holding him steady, mumbling things Shouto couldn’t quite hear, couldn’t quite understand. But the sound of his voice was enough. He burped, bringing up another mouthful of liquid, and then his back was arching as his body tried to wring itself dry. Round after round of vomit, until he had nothing left but spit and dry air.

The stench of the bucket was cloying. Bakugou pulled him back even though he was still gagging, rubbing his back in circles. “I think you’re done, babe. Here, come on. Breathe for me.” 

Shouto hiccupped, leaning back into the blonde’s chest. “I – I don’t feel well.” 

“No shit.” Bakugou used some of the water from the bottle to dampen the washcloth. He tilted Shouto’s head and began wiping away the bile and spit sticking to his chin, the snot under his nose. Aizawa took the bucket to wash out, and Yaoyorozu took his place in front of Shouto, smiling softly. 

“Want to try a bit of water?” she asked, holding out the bottle. Shouto groaned, pulling away from her. The nausea had just barely let up – he wasn’t sure he was ready to swallow anything yet. 

“Hey. Have just a little,” Bakugou said, taking the water from her. He unscrewed the cap and pressed the bottle to Shouto’s lips. “Dehydration is dumb.” 

He felt it wash over his tongue. It tasted acrid and did little to settle his stomach. He pushed the rest away and belched into his fist, shivering. 

“You think you can stand?” Aizawa asked, returning with a clean bucket. After a few measured breaths, Shouto nodded, clinging to the bucket as Bakugou eased him onto his feet. Yaoyorozu moved to stand on his other side, taking some of his weight. His teacher’s gaze was scrutinising, brow furrowed. 

“Let’s go. I want you checked out sooner rather than later.” Aizawa held the door open for them as they left the gymnasium. “But tell me if you need to stop, alright?”

“Mm,” Shouto said, not sure what he was agreeing to. Colours and sounds were starting to melt together. He leaned into Bakugou on his right, eyes searching. “Kats-ki?” 

“I’m here, Sho.” He pressed a chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. It was scorching, even on his right side. Bakugou bit his lip and tried to temper his anxiety. “I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he murmured. “I promise.” 

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

[crestfallercanyon]

@its-tea-time-darling thank you, actually, for driving me to headcanons again, because you’ve inspired one that I have to talk about more —

Gally is ABSOLUTELY the guy who calls someone if they so much as text him more than two times. Especially if they are paragraphs, he’s just going to call someone. Some people like this/aren’t bothered by this most of the time/know this about him and accept it (I’d say probably Teresa, Alby, and Frypan respectively) but everyone else is absolutely fed up with it (Thomas doesn’t answer, Newt answers but reminds him that he was texting for a reason, Minho straight up declines the call and continues to bombard him, Brenda likes to answer his call and start saying the most fucked up shit just to make him stammer and wish he’d never called).

Minho responds to someone with memes almost always. He has a meme or a gif for literally every single situation. Eventually though, whenever someone has bad news he will respond with “BUMMER” but then send an actual “ah that sucks man,” after because personal growth. He does however love to vent in text and will also send paragraphs of funny rants about his day.

Thomas sends paragraphs. All the time. Where three words would suffice he texts out fifteen. He also is the one who asks too many questions and if the group is meeting up somewhere he always has to ask again what time/where/dress code/parking etc. (Brenda actually secretly really appreciates this). He also sends out videos and articles but he’s not a big meme person (he’s never sure he’s using em right but he laughs at Minho’s and Brenda’s).

Newt doesn’t actually text the group that often and usually just texts people directly, but he does pin things if the app they’re using has that capability/answers Thomas’s questions and pins it (or reminds him that it’s already pinned, ffs, can’t you read?). He occasionally sends pictures of what he’s doing and has to be reminded to text someone where he’s going so that if something happens people know where he is because he often goes out on his own.

Teresa sends news articles, and other things she thinks others might enjoy learning about. (Alby and Thomas always feel the need to actually reply instead of just react like “this is neat!” Which actually Teresa really enjoys). Teresa also sends a bulk paragraph of plans or is the one to initiate “okay, we talked about hanging out, but what is the plan” and forces people to actually commit to things.

Alby has not mastered that certain apps are for certain things and always tries to talk about subjects that are in other apps in the wrong one. Do not start a serious conversation in the Instagram group chat, that’s for texting, the insta is for memes, articles, videos, etc., not convos. Facebook messenger is for meetups in person, discord is for FaceTime calls, etc. and he always mixes them up and someone (Newt or Teresa) usually gently delete and redirect him every time or don’t even say anything and just ignore it.

Brenda, like Minho, knows her way around memes and gifs and could be a comedy/influencer if she wanted to but she has no desire to post every day. She and Minho would have absolutely killed it on vine. She texts a lot and seems to know how to keep a conversation alive if it seems like it’s stalling.

Frypan is typically more of a responder than one to start the conversation. He actually engages with a rant and says things like “that’s rough!” Or whatever and also reminds everyone to text when they get home from an event safely. He actually has the most active social media following because he’s starting a restaurant and always posts videos about his new food and things like that and it looks delicious. He didn’t really mean to get big on Instagram it just kind of happened because his food looks good and he just wanted to share his food with his friends or his home recipes but things spread much quicker than he expected outside his own page. He’s known for being very wholesome and having super delicious food.

And maybe I’ll do a follow up about whose location is shared with who but I think that’s all I got for now 😂

[lil-melody-moon]

OKAY IT’S HAPPENING, EVERYBODY STAY CALM!! I’ve finally finished my opinion on “The who by numbers” This took me so long but it’s finally here so I hope you enjoy:

Before I start, I feel the need to say (once again) that I really love the design of the cover and the fact that John Entwistle actually drew the cover himself makes it even better. I love a talented King ❤️

Okay, now the opinion you’ve been waiting for:

1. Slip Kid: The cowbell at the beginning of the song?? I LOVED IT. Great intro. I think it captures the vibes of the album really well. Btw Is that Roger on backing vocals?? I love the song. I have no idea what it is about but I love it 🤣

2. However much I booze: Ummm excuse me??? This song is a fucking vibe. Now I understand why this song is your favourite😍 I don’t know what they put in this song but fuuuuck it’s so damn groovy and the melody it’s soooo catchy. Keith’s drumming and John’s bass in this one are superb

3. AAAAA SQUEEZE BOX MY BELOVED, MY BABY. I literally forced all of my friends to listen to this one. They looked at me weird when I played the song for them in the car but idc. Anyway, This one is my favourite and you already know the context behind why I love this one 😏🤣

4. Dreaming from the waist: All I can say about this song is that I absolutely love the dedication John Entwistle and Keith Moon put in this song. All I can hear is bass and drums 👀❤️

5. Imagine A Man: Okay confession. The first time I listened to this song I did not like very much but now that I’ve listened to it a few more times I think It’s starting to grow on me. Also, the line “Imagine a past where you wish you had lived” literally wrecked me, I felt it in my soul 💔

6. Sucess Story: I have the feeling that I’ve heard this song before…. It sounds like a mix between “All the way from Memphis” by Mott the Hoople and “It’s only Rock N Roll (But I like it) by the Rolling Stones. I might be wrong tho but all these songs have the same vibes 🤣

7. They Are All in love: This is probably my least favourite (don’t kill me) the song is good and I like how Keith and John sound together but idk. Maybe I need to listen to it more

8. Blue Red and Grey: IS THIS PETE ON VOCALS TOO?? Holy sweet mother of jesus his voice feels like a warm hug. Is that an ukelele?? YEP IT IS. I’ve read that Pete wanted to commit suicide and that’s why he wrote this song. If that’s true I feel so sorry for Pete :(

9. How many friends: HELLO?? THE DRUMS? THE GUITAR??? Holy fuck I like everything about this song. “How many friends have I really got? Well you can count ‘em on the one hand” THAT’S LITERALLY ME. I only have a few friends but feel so lucky to have them.

10. In a hand or a face: This song reminds me of Baba O’Riley for some reason🤣 Are we absolutely sure that this isn’t a leftover song from “Who’s Next?”

Oh, by the way, I still can’t tell the difference between Pete and Roger’s voices but I feel like Pete sings in almost every song of the album so I don’t really know what to say about Roger’s input in the album except for the backing vocals (he sings beautifully)

Overalls, this album is really fun to listen to, it’s very complete and catchy. From what I’ve read, this album took ages to be completed cause Pete had a writer’s block and depression but I’m so glad he recovered and finished the album. So far, this is probably my favourite The Who album. I still need to listen to Quadrophenia in its entirety tho.

Okay so first of all, to clear your doubts, Pete's voice is the warm one, "However Much I Booze" and "Blue Red and Grey" are sung by him, the rest is Roger. Roger has a distinct voice, if you know "Squeeze Box" by heart, you know Roger's voice <3

Normally Roger sings, occasionally Pete does, Pete and John are always the backing vocals, Keith only shines from time to time, not a single song of his on this one, BUT I'm so glad to hear that the rhythm section is catching your attention this much - you would have to see me grin when you said you can't hear nothing but bass and drums XD

About the stories you mentioned there, I didn't read much, so I believe in what you're saying. I somehow can't bring myself to really dig in the history of the band, I'm probably afraid of a thing or two, but like, I'm so glad Pete recovered from depression as well - he's a lovely guy really, deserving the best <3

I'm very happy that you love the album this much and I certainly can't fucking wait for you to dive into "Quadrophenia". You'll hear my screaming when you send me your opinion, plus... I'm still waiting for your opinion about "Tommy" and the revenge. Take care, my dear and have fun on the path to become a The Who fan <3

[statelysapphic]

Letters to Emily

Emily Prentiss x Reader

Summary: When Ian Doyle takes away the one person you love, you find solace in writing her letter.

Warnings: Typical talk of Emily being dead. Hurt. Let me know if I missed something<3

A/N: Hi friends! It’s been a while. I’ve been working on this for a while, and idk how I feel about it. I very lightly edited this. Feedback is appreciated as always. Ao3 Link. Enjoy!<3

July 26, 2011

Emily,

I accepted the job. I’m not sure what would piss you off more though: the fact that it’s a desk job or the fact that it’s in Phoenix and I’m leaving Quantico. Leaving the team. I know you’d tell me that I’m making a huge mistake but it’s just too painful.

JJ brings me coffee every morning, just like you did, and even though I know she means well, it’s a painful reminder that you will never bring me coffee again. When I look up from my desk in the bullpen to see the empty one across from me, I’m reminded that I won’t be able to watch you work anymore. I loved watching you pour over files, watching the gears turn in your head. Putting the pieces together and catching the bad guy. You were brilliant.

Emily paused as her vision blurred, the burning sensation of tears threatening to spill catches her attention and shifts her focus. She was angry. Angry at Doyle for forcing her into this mess. Angry at JJ for not telling her that you transferred. Angry at Hotch for even approving your transfer request. Angry at Derek, Spencer, and Penelope; Did they even try to convince you to stay? She took a deep breath, and then another. As she felt her heart rate return to normal, she wiped the tears away from her cheeks and continued reading.

Everything here is a painful reminder of you. Everything. I walk past a framed photo of you every single day and it guts me. Every single time. I can’t keep doing it, so I’m running. I know you’d be so disappointed in me. Virginia isn’t home without you, Em. It stopped feeling like home when JJ told me you “never made it off the table.” I don’t think I’ll ever find your feeling of home again.

I’m not sure how to tell the team about the transfer. Maybe I’ll buy them a round after this case and break the news to them then. Booze and karaoke should soften them up, right?

I don’t think they’re going to take it well. I just hope they skip the guilt trip.

I hate to end this on a sad note, so I will say that I think Arizona will be good for me. Lots of sunshine and wide open spaces. New people, new experiences. I actually think I’m excited, even though I feel guilty for it. I suppose that will get better with time. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, the one item on my bucket list is to go rockhounding out west. Maybe I’ll treat myself once I get settled.

I miss you so much, Em. But I love you even more. Always.

Emily refolded the letter and slid it back into its envelope. As she placed it on the coffee table in front of her, she finally allowed herself to cry. She had done everything in her power to protect you from Doyle and her past. Although you were physically safe, it was clear from your letters that the emotional toll was severe. She was only about halfway through the stack that she found in your bedside table, and she still had three months worth left to read. She knew she wouldn’t finish by the time you got home, but that was okay.

The raven haired woman sighed, picking up the next letter in the pile.

August 12, 2011

Emmy,

Fuck I miss you today. I wish you would’ve been here to ground me though that. Or kick some ass for me. The movers were nice enough to break my bed frame while bringing it up the stairs and then denied doing it. I watched him drop it, babe. I wasn’t even mad until he denied it. Don’t worry, I called the manager and received a full refund for the trouble.

I wish you were here to cuddle on this couch with me. I miss the way you’d hold me. I felt untouchable when I was in your arms. I think you’d like this new apartment though. The master bedroom has a killer view AND a balcony. It also has plenty of south facing windows for my houseplants, and room for many more. My collection has grown exponentially since you’ve seen it last. As odd as it sounds, they’ve helped me through this.

Sorry for the short letter today. Who knew moving halfway across the country would be so tiring? Could’ve fooled me. I love you, Emily. Always.

Emily chuckled lightly at your sarcasm, but soon felt the tears return.

Sadness began to fade within Emily, and anxiety soon took its place. She was unsure of how you would react when you came home after a long day at work to find your not-actually-dead partner sitting in your living room, reading your private letters, no less. Sure, they were technically addressed to her, but she knows you never thought anyone would read them. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to do this, but Emily vehemently rejected all help that the team offered. Hotch offered to call your Supervisor to have them sit you down to talk you through it. JJ nearly begged Emily to help in some capacity, already feeling immense guilt over the situation. Though, she almost let Rossi accompany her when he offered, and she was beginning to regret not doing so.

The regret faded almost instantly as Emily heard a key in the front door. Her heart rate increased and her chest became tight. The reality of the situation had settled in for Emily, and the uncertainty was paralyzing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, a sorry attempt to calm her nerves, as she braced herself to face you. She heard the door shut, followed by footsteps that grew louder and louder until there was silence. Emily didn’t dare look up. Even as she heard the loud clatter of what she assumed were your keys colliding with the hardwood apartment floor.

“E… Emmy?”

~