#ive been trying to think of a reply All Day what am i seeing here

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ma-yawntu]

mine, all mine. iv.

chapter four: divine

pairing: neteyam x female!metkayina!reader

summary: Your brother was always getting into trouble– and somehow it was always your responsibility to get him out of it.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: punching, blood, injury, lil surpriiiise, like one swear word

now playing... learning 037 by sandy crow

series masterlist

“Eyes,” you made the sign for eyes with your fingers, watching Kiri make the sign effortlessly back to you while Lo’ak and Neteyam fiddled with their fingers before clumsily copying your sign. “Good,” you smiled before moving onto the next sign, “now, this one is ears.”

You had been teaching the siblings sign language for the past few days, helping them with very basic signs to help them communicate important information while underwater. Kiri seemed to get the hang of it rather quickly while Neteyam and Lo’ak seemed to struggle, the two of them staring intensely at their own hands as they attempted to copy you. 

“What is the sign for ‘beautiful’?” Lo’ak asked, Kiri and Neteyam snickering to themselves. Lo’ak looked at his siblings with an offended expression, “I was just asking."

“It’s okay, Lo’ak,” you chuckled before showing him the sign. “You… Are… Beautiful,” you signed slowly, letting him copy your movements. You knew the boy had a crush on your sister because she was crushing just as hard on him, talking your ear off every night about him until you fell asleep. You found it cute at first until she found any and every chance to talk about him. You felt like you knew him more than he knew you. 

“You… Are… Beautiful,” Lo’ak copied, mumbling the words to himself. You laughed softly, reaching over to fix his finger and hand placement. Neteyam watched you correct his brother, wondering if he should mess up every now and then so you’d correct him too. 

The four of you sat on the beach, the waves gently caressing the shoreline as the sun began to set. The Sully family had been staying in your village for almost a month, all of them getting much better with their free diving and breathing, though you had very little to correct with Kiri, she was doing remarkably well for a Na’vi who grew up in the forest. 

You were almost thankful for the arrival of Jake Sully and his family– while you were disappointed you weren’t able to train with Teyoa as much anymore, their sudden arrival had made it difficult for your parents to arrange as many meals with possible mates and their families. You had the odd one here and there, but teaching the forest Na’vi the way of water had occupied a lot of your time and to you, it felt like time well spent. 

“Have you been practising your breathing?” You asked Neteyam as the two of you swam toward the middle of the reef. Tsireya had taken Kiri and Tuk with her to show them how to use the txampaysye [Gill Mantle] to their advantage while underwater, while you decided to spring a challenge on Neteyam since he’d promised to practise his breathing. 

“Yes,” he replied, trying to catch up with you as you used your tail to push you through the water. “I think I’m the only one of my siblings that actually practises.”

“We’ll see about that,” you sang, rolling onto your back as you swam toward the deepest part of the reef, the bioluminescent water glowing with your movements. Neteyam watched you sway through the water, mesmerised by your comfort in the water around you. “I want you to catch this,” his attention snapped back to your voice, watching as you held up a small glowing shell.

“Catch it?” He asked curiously. 

You smiled cheekily before throwing it a few metres away from you, he watched you do it before he looked at you again, eyes blown wide, “catch it,” you nodded.

Neteyam stared at you in disbelief, “how am I supposed to–”

“It’s getting awfully far away, Neteyam,” you teased, pursing your lips. 

Neteyam sucked in a long breath before diving down after it, doing his best to keep his eyes trained on the tiny glowing shell that just seemed to get further and further away the closer he got. The reef glowed brightly with different hues of blue, green and purple as he swam straight down, his hand reaching out and barely grazing the shell. He let out a small frustrated huff, bubble bobbing to the surface as you watched from above with a stupid grin on your face.

He finally wrapped his fingers around the shell, his ears sore from the pressure of being so deep in the reef. Neteyam quickly looked up, smiling to himself at seeing you floating above, watching him intently. He pushed off the plush sand, quickly rising to the surface with the shell tucked in his grasp. His chest was hurting from the lack of oxygen and when he finally surfaced, he took in a deep breath, panting slightly.

“I got it,” he beamed, showing you the shell.

You smiled, reaching out to grasp his wrist, “see? I knew you could do it,” you laughed, his skin suddenly feeling hot from you touching him. You were easily one of the most beautiful girls in the village, he understood why you were so sought after by the village boys but you seemed to be disinterested in them, it made him wonder if you’d ever consider him.

“Did you really have faith in me or was it a shot in the dark?” He asked curiously.

“A shot… in the dark?” You repeated, unfamiliar with the phrase.

“Right, I forget other people don’t know human phrases,” Neteyam laughed. You almost forgot his dad used to be one of the Sky People but then Lo’ak or Tuk would say or do something strange that would remind you of the fact. “It means to… to guess, you know?”

“Oh, I see,” you laughed, “No, it was not a shot in the dark, I had complete faith in your ability,” you retorted as you began swimming toward the shore. It was starting to get late, with the majority of the village either gathered at the beach for their meal or sleeping. 

Neteyam fiddled with the shell in his hand as the two of you walked down the beach. You had a habit of walking him home, he never pointed it out, wondering if you noticed your habit yourself or if you just liked talking to him– he’d like to think you were just too lost in the conversation to notice. 

You had warmed up to Neteyam a lot, you admit that you found him and his siblings a little annoying at first, only because you didn’t want to have to babysit them on top of tending to your own duties as the tsakarem, but you found them to be good company. You even enjoyed spending time with Neteyam, almost a little too much. Most of the men in the clan that attempted to court you didn’t seem interested in you, only interested in being the leader of the clan. They brought you gifts that you didn’t even like and only talked about themselves. But Neteyam– he was different. He seemed interested in getting to know you– something you’d never experienced before.

“What do your tattoos mean?” Neteyam asked curiously, eyeing the intricate art that adorned your ribs. You looked at him and he quickly clarified, “I just see a lot of people with tattoos on their arms, chest and face but I haven’t seen any like yours.”

You smiled at his nervousness before you spoke, recalling the story, “when I was born, I wasn’t breathing. Metkayina are born in the water and it’s tradition that we swim to take our first breath. But I did not move and I wasn’t breathing,” you said softly, reaching up to play with your hair. “But after a while, I was able to breathe on my own… My mother always told me that Eywa gave me a second chance.”

Neteyam listened to you intently, unable to take his eyes off you as you spoke, “when you get tattoos after your Iknimaya, they chronicle your life. And for me, I was given tattoos on my ribs as a way to signify the breath I was given by Eywa,” you laughed softly at the last part, recalling the story your mother told you again and again. “Silly, right?”

“Not at all,” Neteyam replied honestly, if anything, he thought that was a beautiful way to honour the life you were given. 

“I think that’s why my parents expect a lot from me,” you shrugged, “they just want me to live up to my ‘potential’,” you said the last part sarcastically, laughing to yourself. 

Judging by the way you said it, Neteyam thought you didn’t think you’d lived up to your parents expectations. “You don’t think you have?” Neteyam asked.

“Not in the way they want,” you replied. “They want me to be the Tsahik, be a good healer but– I don’t think it’s what I’m made for.”

“What are you made for?” Neteyam asked gently, eyes never leaving you.

You paused, Neteyam stopping beside you, “I’m not sure.”

You stood in the shallow water by the shore, plucking ripe fruits from the soft sand. Neteyam’s question had been haunting you since the night before– you felt like you were having a crisis thinking about what it was you wanted for your life, why Eywa kept you alive. You wanted so badly to be a warrior, but you knew your parents would never allow it, wanting to keep their oldest daughter safe. You understood why, you really did, but it didn’t make it any less hard. 

Your ears perked up at the sound of commotion behind you. You stood up from your spot in the shallow water, watching as your brother and his friends picked on Kiri. You frowned, dropping your woven bag of fruits on the sand with your blade, watching the scene for a moment. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but the moment Ao’nung tugged on Kiri’s arm, you cursed under your breath and started stomping up the sand. 

“Back off, fish lips!” Lo’ak got there first, emerging from the village as you moved up the sand bank. 

“Oh! Another four-fingered freak,” Ao’nung teased. Eywa, he was such a jerk sometimes.

“Look at his little baby tail!” You hadn’t even bothered to learn half of Ao’nung’s friends' names. One of them pulled on Lo’ak’s tail, starting to piss you off. Lo’ak shoved him away, your brother attempting to shove Lo’ak back.

“Leave us alone!” Kiri shouted, standing off to the side, not wanting to involve herself but still attempting to break up what was inevitably going to be a fight. 

No one seemed to notice your angry surge toward them, too busy trying to get under each other’s skin as Kiri watched on, unable to do much else. But they were quick to notice your presence when you pulled on Lo’ak’s arm, effectively pulling him behind you to shield him from your brother’s antics. You planted your hand flat on Ao’nung’s chest, pushing him back.

“Leave it alone,” you said lowly, staring daggers up at your brother.

“Uh oh, big sister’s here–” Ao’nung held up his arm, silencing his friend behind him. Lo’ak and Kiri stood behind you with bated breath, watching you diffuse the situation. 

“What is going on?” Neteyam’s voice almost surprised you, Ao’nung’s friends briefly turning their attention to the oldest forest Na’vi brother but your own brother didn’t take his angry eyes off you, trying to intimidate you. 

“We were just leaving,” you said, giving one last push to Ao’nung’s chest before you turned around, placing your hand gently on Kiri’s back as you guided her away from the beach. Neteyam and Lo’ak hesitated for a moment before following behind you.

“You sure you want to hang out with these freaks?” Ao’nung called behind you. Lo’ak and Neteyam quickly whipped their heads around, Lo’ak quick to march back down to your brother, standing chest to chest with him. 

“Hey! No, Lo’ak, don’t,” Neteyam urged, trying to push his brother back. You kept your hand on Kiri’s back, your breath hitched in your throat as you watched.

“You want to see something real cool?” Lo’ak tilted his head sarcastically.

Neteyam gritted his teeth, “Lo’ak–”

“I mean, I know it’s weird, huh?” Lo’ak wiggled his pinky in Ao’nung’s face. “I am a freak; an alien. But watch–” Lo’ak balled his hand up tight, “first you do this, then–”

Lo’ak quickly swung at your brother, once, twice, knocking him flat on his ass. Ao’nung’s eyes widened in disbelief, “don’t ever touch my sister again!” Ao’nung got up, quickly slamming his body into Lo’ak’s, the two of them tumbling into the sand. 

You watched as Neteyam laughed for a moment as his brother rolled around in the sand with Ao’nung and his friends, blindly throwing punches. You almost groaned when Neteyam scratched the back of his head, his shoulders shrugging as he went to join in, “Neteyam, don’t– and there he goes.”

“This is so stupid!” Kiri yelled, groaning in disbelief. 

“Ao’nung!” you shouted, grunting angrily before you surged forward, yanking on your brother’s tail from where he straddled Lo’ak, trying to throw a punch at him. You dragged him across the sand but you were quickly knocked to the side as one of Ao’nung’s friends tackled Neteyam, pinning his legs down and throwing a punch at his face, splitting his lip. 

You quickly stood up, “get off him!” you shouted, yanking on his kuru and punching him square in the face. The chaos subsided, Kiri gasping and throwing her hands over her mouth as Ao’nung’s friend stumbled back off Neteyam, clutching his bleeding nose and letting out a cry. 

“What the hell,” everyone comically turned to look at the source of the voice, Jake Sully standing there and taking in the bruised and bloodied faces of his kids and more terrifying– the Olo’eyktan’s kids. 

“Shiiit,” Lo’ak cursed. 

Your mother arrived shortly after Jake, ordering Ao’nung’s friends to go see the healers while she dragged your brother to his feet by his kuru and grabbed the back of your neck tightly, holding the two of you as your father came storming down the beach. Jake spoke quietly to Lo’ak and Neteyam, though his voice was stern, Lo’ak staring at the ground while Neteyam huffed, seeming ashamed. 

Jake grabbed his sons harshly by their shoulders, forcing them to stand in front of the Olo’eyktan, Neteyam and Lo’ak standing beside you. Your father directed his attention toward Jake for a moment before looking over his sons. Neteyam’s lip was split, a bruise blooming over his chest while Lo’ak had a bruise forming on his cheek and a split in his brow from where Ao’nung had thrown a punch. 

“Why are our children bleeding?” Your father questioned loudly, your ears pinning back at the sound. 

“Tell your father what happened,” Ronal ordered, pushing you and your brother forward. Ao’nung hung his head, seemingly able to close his big fat mouth for once. 

“It is my fault,” you stepped forward, feeling Neteyam, Lo’ak, Ao’nung and Jake look at you.

“I do not believe this,” your mother scoffed, swatting the back of your head.

“It is true, father,” you sighed, looking up at your dad who had his jaw clenched as he looked down at you, unsure if he believed a word you were saying. “I threw the first punch.” You massaged your bruised hand from where you had rather harshly punched Ao’nung’s friend in the face. 

“This is improper, child,” your father whispered harshly, “they are guests here, we do not do this–”

Neteyam and Lo’ak’s brows knitted together, your father believing you had hurt them when you were simply defending them and their sister. You were always getting your stupid brother out of trouble, he was going to owe you big time for this one, “it will not happen again, father.”

“Sir,” Neteyam stepped forward with his hands raised, Jake attempting to silence his son by grabbing at his shoulder. “This is not her doing–”

“Please, Neteyam,” you sighed, your hand wrapping around his arm.

“It is not right,” Neteyam looked at you, his golden eyes filled with such worry. He stared at you for a moment longer before glancing at your father, “she was defending me, sir. My brother and I…” he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully, “It was my fault.”

Tonowari stared at Neteyam for a moment before looking at you, your hand squeezing Neteyam’s arm gently, your silent plea for him to take back what he said and let you take the blame– it would be easier for everyone. Tonowari looked to his mate and Ronal slowly shook her head, not believing that either of you were to blame for what happened.

“Fix him up,” your father ordered. You looked up at him and he quickly flicked his head toward the village. You bowed your head, your hand slipping down Neteyam’s arm to grasp his large hand, pulling him toward the village. As you walked in silence, you couldn’t help but note the roughness of his hands, feeling the calluses forming at the base of his fingers from his years of climbing and hunting in the forest. 

“Why did you take the blame?” Neteyam asked as you ushered him into the healing marui. You pushed him to sit down, quickly moving to find the things you needed to clean the cut on his lip and tend to the bruise on his chest and jaw. 

“It is easier,” you huffed, “I have a way with my father, he would have let me off easy. I was trying to do what is best for my brother and for your family, Neteyam,” you didn’t mean for it to sound as harsh as it did. 

“But what about what is best for you?” he asked, confused by your thinking. You grabbed some cloth and salves from your mothers collection, ignoring Neteyam’s question as you moved around the marui with urgency– you were frustrated and angry; annoyed that your brother keeps getting himself into trouble, annoyed that he won’t take accountability when he does something wrong, and annoyed that Neteyam wouldn’t let you just take the blame for it. 

Neteyam grabbed your wrist gently, stopping your angry pacing. Your chest was heavy, rising and falling rapidly as you tried to just breathe through your anger, “this is not about what I want,” you muttered, feeling hot tears forming in your eyes.

“It was not fair,” he replied softly as you wiped a tear from your cheek. “I…” he watched you for a moment, his heart aching at the sight of your tears, he stood up, gently resting a hand on your shoulder as he glanced at the side of your face, “please, do not cry.”

You sniffled softly, wiping your face with the back of your hand before turning to him with your salves, some water and a cloth, “I am fine,” you mumbled, “sit down, I’ll fix the cut on your lip.”

Neteyam hesitantly sat down, face still etched with worry as you got to work, gently rubbing an ointment into his chest over the purple bruise. It looked like it hurt, yet he was more concerned about you and your crying. You could feel his eyes on you as you worked, doing your best to ignore his breathtaking eyes as you cleaned the dried blood and sand from his chest and shoulders.

“Your hand,” Neteyam whispered. You paused for a moment before looking at your knuckles decorated with purple bruises.

“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt,” you whispered back, grabbing at Neteyam’s jaw to inspect the cut on his lip. Neteyam was much taller than you, his lean figure towering over you when you both stood together, but even when he was sitting he was only mere inches shorter. 

You felt Neteyam’s hand wrap around your wrist with the bruised knuckles, pulling it away from his face to look at it. While he has no real healing experience, leaving that to his grandmother and sister, he still wanted to make sure you were okay. He stared at your bruises with such worry, as if he wasn’t literally bleeding in front of you. 

You used your other hand to tip his jaw back to look at you, finally catching his eyes, “Neteyam, I promise you, I am fine. You are the one that is bleeding.”

Neteyam huffed out a sigh, “yes, I know but–”

You gently put your hand over his mouth to shut him up, laughing softly, “I sneak out to train with one of the warriors in the village. That is why my punishment is looking out for you and your siblings,” you whispered, his eyes staring so intently at you, “I have broken my own nose trying to use a spear on a bag of sand, this–,” you lifted your hand, “–is nothing.”

You pulled your hand away from his mouth, reaching for your wet cloth to begin cleaning the blood off his slightly swollen lip. Neteyam stared at you fondly, pondering your confession, “you broke your own nose using a spear?”

“Do not ask,” you shook your head, laughing softly. You fell into a comfortable silence as you gently cleaned Neteyam’s face, your hand gently cradling his jaw. You noticed how he stared at you, a little smile tugging at his lips. You felt your face heat under his gaze, laughing nervously, “what?”

“You are beautiful,” he breathed, voice barely above a whisper. You felt your eyes widen, never having been complimented with such sincerity. You paused your movements, unable to function for a moment. Neteyam stood slowly, his head craning to look at you. He swore your eyes were the most beautiful he had ever seen, dazzling and bright, matching the colour of the crystal clear reefs your clan held dear. He slowly brought his hand up to cup your jaw, your breath hitching in your throat. “May… May I kiss you?”

You felt your eyes widen a fraction, your lips parting as a nervous breath squeezed past. You didn’t know what to do or to say, you had never been this close to anyone before, especially a boy you had grown to enjoy the company of. A smile tugged at your lips as Neteyam’s eyes flickered from your lips back to your eyes, “I… I think I would like that,” you whispered.

Neteyam’s smile was unmatched. You could feel his breath fanning over your face as he leaned in closer, your eyes instinctively fluttering shut– taking in the delightful silence around you, only listening to the sound of his breathing and the beating of your own heart.

You felt your heart begin to race as his lips grazed yours and–

“Sister! Are you okay, I heard from– Oh.” You and Neteyam leapt away from each other, you quickly coughed awkwardly while Neteyam tried to look like was doing something other than what your sister just caught you doing. “I’m– I’m sorry, I’ll uh, I’ll come back later,” Tsireya smiled awkwardly, bumping into a table in the marui then finally finding the doorway and leaving.

You quickly turned to Neteyam, “I should… I should go check on her,” you said awkwardly.

Neteyam scratched the back of his neck, “yeah, of course. I should go see my parents anyway– hope they haven’t skinned my brother yet–”

“Right, yeah,” you said sheepishly. The two of you stood there staring at each other for a moment before you bowed your head, your lips forming a tight line as you scooted past him toward the doorway. Way to ruin a moment, Reya. 

You paused in the doorway, wanting to give him something before you left. You quickly turned back, his eyes wide as you approached him again. You stood up on your tiptoes, one hand gently holding his face as you planted a kiss to his cheek. You didn’t wait for him to react before you bowed your head and left, determined to find your sister before she babbled.

a/n: damn, so close

taglist: @s0urw00lf, @peqch-pie, @greatsstuffsposts, @lavzxx, @quaint-and-curious-being

[b1mbodoll]

gabi every time u post what ur thinking abt i am condemned with incurable brain rot :( ive alr sent u an ask abt puppy jake so im here to talk abt sungkitty ! who manhandles u to sit between his thighs so he can ‘clean u’ after a long day, hard in his shorts where he’s been practically edging himself grinding against your lower back, licking at your cheeks and neck and everywhere else. he tuts at you and growls against your neck when he realises what a mess you’ve made a mess of ur panties, pins you underneath him and spends what feels like forever licking at the sticky, milky-white mess you’ve left for him. sucks the sodden material of your panties and pockets them, claiming it’s been forever since you got him a new toy, the least you could do is let him keep these. palms at your boobs and asks what he has to do to have you leaking for him there too, mumbles against your clit that he’s gonna breed you til it sticks. sometimes he hates the way jake is always yipping at your heels, and takes it out on u :( hits your toothbrush when you’re brushing your teeth to watch you gag n tear up, glaring at him so cutely it makes him want to push you to your knees and give you something else to gag on. he always messes with the thermostat in your apartment, he’s a kitty, he doesn’t like the cold all that much, but it gives him an excuse to drape himself over you, knead your thighs and pinch your nipples because they’re poking through your shirt :( shoves jake out of your bed at night because he wants to be the one watching when your pretty tits slip out of your shirt, wants to bite at them when you stop stroking behind his ears, but also suck and lick at them when he’s drowsy and wants to be a little affectionate :(( tells it’s so gross that jake is always peeing on you or in you when you fool around to mark you up, scoffs and skulks around the apartment scoffing abt how a pretty, refined kitty like him would never do something so disgusting, but he will ! has you sucking his cock when you feel his grip tighten in your hair, and suddenly he’s tilting his head to the side, frowning that the first thing you tried to do was pull away when you feel his warmth trickling down your sore throat. you let jakey mark you with his piss, but you won’t let him do the same? he accuses you of playing favourites and makes you swallow every last drop, so hard that it’s painful watching the few droplets that escaped around the girth of his cock trickle down over your tits :( (ik my asks are alw soso long gabi so please don’t ever feel any pressure to answer them or write smth in response, i js wanted to share my thoughts + i hope ur resting well i miss seeing u on the tl :( from ur fairy anon !)

pairings: park sunghoon x f! reader

warnings: hybrids + kitty! hoon + puppy! jake mentioned + masturbation + lactation + oral + anal ment + omorashi

💌: my fairy… i dont even know what to reply to this. i fear i’ve gatekept this for long bcs its quite literally perfection.. i think m gna pass out.

mean kitty hoon is such a little pervert n ur so right he would steal your drenched panties :( takes his time dragging his rough tongue over your clothed cunt because he loves how wet n messy you get 😵‍💫 such a nasty lil thing he 100% uses them to jerk off later 😖 or better yet, uses them to tease puppy! jake :x

“hates the way jake is always yipping at your heels” oh… my god. poor jakey he’s just a little himbo :( feel like sunghoon would try to distract the poor mutt with your messy panties n it works 😓 yunie jerks his cock with your panties n completely misses out on fucking you bcs that’s what hoonie wanted :( whines n begs you to let him breed your overstimulated hole bcs your kitty was sooo mean to him!!

god him asking what he’s gotta do to get your tits leaking… im gonna pass out!!!!!! once he realizes knocking you up causes your tits to leak milk, he’s not stopping until you’re bred properly n his cum fills your womb 😵‍💫 hoonie’s so fucking desperate to taste your milk he doesn’t even care whose cum it is that sticks.. when his cock is spent n the poor thing’s shooting blanks he doesn’t stop… he lets jake be the one to fuck you but he talks the puppy through the whole thing. hisses when jake cums too early n pulls harshly on his fluffy ears to get his attention.

when they’re finished, an obscene amount of cum is steadily dripping from your cunt n it makes hoon’s ears lay flat against his head as he glares at your leaking hole. purchases a plug immediately n every time after they’re done with you, he never forgets to slip it inside, not wanting any more to go to waste before you’re knocked up.

im so weak for omo, you’re soooo twisted for this part… gosh just prim n proper kitty hoon that’s disgusted by jake pissing on or inside his owner :( joins you in the shower n helps clean you off because he absolutely Hates that your filthy mutt is able to get away with such depraved asks.. always sneers at him n complains to you that you’re too nice to him n that you jeed to put your foot down every once in a while.

you listen, n ask jake not to do it for at least a little while bcs your kitty doesnt like it 🥺 jake’s whiney but ultimately agrees n sunghoon’s behavior changes. rather than wrinkle his nose n tell you that you smell too much like jake, he becomes more possessive because you smell like you again. curls his tail around you as you deepthroat his cock n when he cums in your mouth you swallow all of it, peering up at him through wet lashes as you noisily suck his tip.

the sight’s too fucking much for hoonie, you look so pretty on your knees for him n he’s dying to ruin you. uses his thumbs to wipe your tears before placing his big hands on the back of your head and forcing you to take him all the way inside your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat n making you squirm n struggle to pull off. warmth floods your mouth n you choke it down, some of his piss dribbling down your chin and tits, making you moan around his cock. hoon’s soooo upset that you even struggled in the first place and pouts his way into fucking your ass full of cum next, somewhere you havent even let jake use yet <3

[sevcasejay1chicago]

Don’t tell Jay -Jay Halstead

Summary: When you are still in pain when you should be fully recovered from surgery, you try to sneak to Med to not bother Jay. Will is not having it.

Mentions: Natalie Manning, Will Halstead, and Maggie Lockwood

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and medical talk. Nothing really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up still in pain after tossing and turning in Jay’s arms all night, you knew you needed to go to Med. You pretended to be asleep when Jay left an hour ago, knowing he would stay home and insist on accompanying you to see Natalie. You had surgery two weeks ago today, and you FINALLY just convinced Jay to go back to work three days ago. He had been by your side for a little over a week and a half, pampering you and making sure you were healing up nicely. You loved him and appreciated him, but you could tell he was ready to climb the walls. He was a man of action and, though he loved taking care of his wife, he needed to be with his unit and in the action.

Hopping into your car, badge in your backpack even though you hadn’t been cleared for duty yet, you made your way to Med. You knew Will was most likely on shift this morning, so you prayed he wouldn’t see you. He would call Jay as soon as you were put in a room.

Walking into Med, you bypassed Leah, smiling at the receptionist and waving like nothing was wrong, and made your way toward Maggie. The charge nurse looked up as her ED doors slid open, immediately coming around the desk at the sight of you.

“Hey Y/N. Here to see your brother in law?” Maggie asked, smiling and pulling you in for a quick hug.

You mustered up the biggest smile you could and shook your head. “Actually, I need Nat.” You barely got the sentence out before Maggie was pulling you into a room.

“Sit down. You look flushed.” Maggie said, placing you on a gurney and pulling out her phone. She pressed a few buttons before placing it to her ear, balancing it with her shoulder. “Nat. I need you in treatment 4. Now.” Maggie said, waiting for a second before hanging up and taking your temp as she went. “100.” She muttered, placing the pulse ox on your finger and blood pressure cuff on, pushing the button to start it as Nat and Will walked in.

You groaned, making immediate eye contact with your brother in law. “Ah Hell.” You muttered, causing Maggie to chuckle. “Don’t call Jay.” Was your immediate reaction to his presence.

Will rolled his eyes, staying in the doorway as Nat approached you. “You know he will kill us both when he finds out.” Will replied, looking cocky cause he knows you know he’s right. “You never know when he will walk through those doors either.” He pointed out.

You nodded, throwing your head back in defeat. “Fine.” You caved, crossing your arms and looking to Nat.

“What’s goin on?” Natalie asked, coming to your side and rubbing your arm.

“I’ve got some pelvic pain. And lower back pain. It doesn’t feel normal so here I am.” You explained, gesturing around the room.

“Heart rate and BP are high. Temp of 100 and oxygen is at 95.” Maggie rattled off, looking at Natalie first and then Will.

“I’ll be back. Hang in there kiddo.” Will said, patting your leg and taking out his phone. He was gonna call Jay.

Natalie nodded and started pulling off her stethoscope. “Let me take a listen and then I wanna look at your incision site and take a feel. That okay?” Natalie asked, already adjusting her ear pieces.

You nodded and laid back, trying to relax. After taking a listen and feeling your abdomen, Natalie stepped back and grabbed the Ipad Will left for her at the foot of your bed. She typed a couple things as Maggie started an IV on you.

“I’m gonna get some blood work on you and a CT. I’ll be back in a bit. Maggie, hang fluids and give her something for the pain and a mild sedative. Jay can take her home later if all turns out well, but I think the high BP might be a stress response.” Natalie rattled off, before giving my leg a squeeze and leaving Maggie to work.

“Jay is gonna have a cow.” I muttered to Maggie as the charge nurse started to put an IV in my arm.

“Moo.” Jay deadpanned, walking in with a serious face but playful look in his eyes.

“That was fast.” I muttered as Maggie laughed at his response.

“Hailey and I were already here to check on a Vic. I was upstairs.” Jay replied, coming to sit next to you as he took your hand. “Why didn’t you call me or tell me before I left? I know you didn’t sleep well.” Jay said, nodding a thanks to Maggie as she finished up and left the room.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” I muttered, looking down and picking at the blanket Maggie had put over me at some point.

Jay sighed, figuring this would be your answer. “Hey. Look at me.” Jay waited until you looked at him, tears in your eyes as guilt flooded your system. “Listen to me. You are my wife. My first priority. You matter more than this job or anything else. You hear me? You are NEVER bothering me.” Jay said, reaching up to wipe your tears.

You nodded, biting your bottom lip. Jay reached up, gently pulling your lip down with a thumb on your chin. “Just hate this.” You sighed, wiping at your eyes. “I wanna go back to work and put this behind me.” You were beginning to get sleepy. You knew the meds were starting to take effect.

Jay sighed too, standing up and telling you to bunch over. You did as he asked, allowing him to crawl onto the gurney with you and take you into his arms. “I know baby girl. I know.” Jay muttered, leaning up to kiss your head. “But you gotta let me take care of you. The more you relax and let me take the reigns, the faster you will heal up and be back in the bullpen with the rest of us.” Jay reassured, rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

“Nat gave me a sedative.” You muttered, leaning your head into Jay’s chest. You were already exhausted when you came in. These meds were gonna knock you out.

Jay nodded without needing an explanation and pulled you closer, being careful of the wires. He placed a hand in your hair as he pressed the bar to recline the bed back a little bit from his position. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to recline you a little more and make you more comfortable. “Alright. Well, you just let it work. Relax, okay? I’ll be right here.” Jay said, pulling the pony tail holder out of your hair and massaging your scalp.

You hummed in response, allowing your eyes to slip closed. You knew he was disappointed that you didn’t call, but he wasn’t going to press the issue now. You were in enough pain to come in and need a sedative for what he figured was anxiety, so he wasn’t going to add any more stress into your life. He would have time to talk to you later when you were feeling better. Your heart was in the right place, but you needed to let him take care of you. After all, he made a vow and he did not intend on breaking it.

[forhereyesonlyyy]

cupid’s work. — a jang wonyoung x reader short.

word count: 1.9k

author’s note: trying something new! a lot of the things in my drafts are super long, so i wanted to try my hand at writing a short that is actually short (and very vague) where i’m less strict with spelling and grammar and all that jazz and just try to vibe, ha. anyway, i hope you enjoy this~ if i see that you guys like this enough i might make a cute little continuation too <33

author's note 2.0: YA'LL... tumblr is becoming my worst enemy idk why the order of the paragraphs(?????) is getting jumbled up PLS BEAR WITH IT 😭😭

warnings: none.

sometimes you wondered if you were extremely lucky, or horrifyingly unfortunate.

when your managers had told you and your group that you would be filming a variety show with another girl group, you were overjoyed. you have always wanted to make friends with your colleagues, but have been too shy to do so. jayoon was more fit for that kind of thing; socializing. but you thought that you would finally try to come out of your shell in this variety show by making the first move on whoever the other girls may be, until you were told of them.

“ive.”

you didn’t miss the way chaeyoung and sieun gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the popular group. while jayoon and seeun shared a high five, and yeeun and sumin nodded excitedly, you were sinking into your seat.

“what, (y/n)? not happy with the other group?” your manager asked, noticing the distraught look on your face.

you perked up, “i am!”

“i bet you are.” jayoon teased. you kicked her leg under the table, but she only laughed.

your managers decided that it was better not to know whatever it was that bothered you, and had concluded the meeting right after they dropped the date when the groups will meet up for further discussions about the show. nobody talked for the first few minutes after the meeting ended, but when you saw chaeyoung smiling at you, you knew all of them were going to speak of a certain someone.

“so,” sieun started. you busied yourself with looking at your nails, pretending as if you didn’t know that sieun was talking to you. “i think i speak for everyone when i say that you should shoot your shot during this show.”

“absolutely not,” you replied immediately. “that’s... that will never work out! right, sumin?” it was your futile attempt to pull someone on your side.

much to your dismay, your leader only smiled sheepishly at you, “i agree with sieun. it’s getting a little sad seeing you pine for her from afar.”

“and trust me, we all want to be spared of your awkward greetings and even more awkward small talks in the music show hallways.” seeun added, shaking her head. you scoffed, crossing your arms, but you didn’t find the grit to fight back. it really wasn’t your fault that you get tongue-tied in the presence of the idol of this generation!

“hey, we’ll help you as much as we can. but seriously, have faith in yourself! everything will work out fine! you’ll see in the meeting that we’ll have with them that you two will get along well!” chaeyoung, bless her heart, holds your hand in consolation.

“unless you shit your pants, then i don’t think we’ll be able to help you with that.” jayoon said. you groaned, hiding your face in your hands while chaeyoung scolds jayoon in the background.

seriously, what were you going to do?

~

“i feel like my heart is going to break out of my ribcage and make a run for it.” you paced around the practice room restlessly. it was the day that stayc and ive will have their meeting for the variety show. when the news was announced on the internet, everybody seemed excited for it. what was better than having one girl group in a variety show? two, of course! both fans of the groups were excited for all of the members of be interacting, and your heart warmed at the encouraging comments of you fans, saying that you will finally have your moment to make friends, like you have always said you wanted to do.

“they’ll be here in a sec, girls.” one of the staff said. you heard jayoon and yeeun snickering behind you, but they both patted your back for good luck.

“i’m gonna faint.” you told sieun.

but you weren’t going to lie, it felt like it was the end of the world.

“you’re not gonna faint.”

and then almost immediately, the door swings open and the first face your eyes set on were jang wonyoung’s. she towered above everybody else and in your eyes, she always had that glow around her that made it hard for you to ignore her. and really, it was your big pathetic crush on her that just automatically made you look at her.

chaeyoung, who was genuinely worried that you would pass out, places her arm around your waist and had you bowing towards the other group with her, as well as the rest of your group.

“hi, (y/n)!” rei greeted, grabbing both of your hands and shaking them. you got acquainted with her a long time ago, after bumping into her in a bakery and finding yourselves being completely at peace in each other’s company. ever since that, you’ve been friends, but you hadn’t told her about your infatuation towards her fellow member though.

“hello.” wonyoung greeted you, bowing again. you found your words stuck in your throat, and only bowed back. you avoided looking at her because every time she was around, it was hard to keep yourself together. (which was a shame, because you would’ve seen the slightest look of disappointment on wonyoung’s face when you avoided her eyes.)

once the groups were introduced to each other, the producer of the show, who was a relatively young woman, ushered you all to sit down on the floor with her. you sat in between seeun and rei and about three seats away was wonyoung. you continued to look at everyone else but her.

“oh, (y/n). are you not feeling well today? you look a bit pale.” the producer said.

everyone turns their head towards you, making you flinch. even jayoon seemed genuinely worried. she was afraid that she might have taken her teasing too far and had actually scared you into ignoring your crush. but you frantically shook your head, laughing nervously, “i’m alright!” you told the producer.

seeun puts her hand on your forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?” she asked. 

you gently took her hand and rested your joined hands on your lap, “no, no. i’m fine, really.” you said.

(wonyoung studied you closely. she noticed the way you didn’t know what to do with your hands after seeun lets go of it, the way your eyes darted everywhere, and the way you didn’t look like you were listening at all. she got worried.)

after that, the producer then went on to the details of the show. the groups will be traveling together in popular tourist spots and will occasionally have friendly competition from time to time. the show is mostly about building friendships between idol groups and overall just wholesome content for the groups’ fans. everybody loved it, and you felt genuinely excited about it all.

“speaking of games, there’s no way we can’t not do the lie detector game.” the producer said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. the lie detector machine was filled with bullshit, as you have come to know, but every time your members get shocked by it, it was always fun.

plus, it was the only time that you got to do the teasing.

“although we might need to protect anyone who might be weak to being poked fun at,” the producer joked. your members nodded, and of course the producer sees the way jayoon and yeeun looked at you while they giggled. “(y/n), you’re not good with jokes?” the producer asked.

you shook your head, playfully glaring at jayoon and yeeun. “it’s just that you don’t really need a lie detector to find out if she’s being truthful or not.” sumin clarified, which really only made things worse on your end.

the producer laughed, “really? should i try it out then? (y/n)-ah, do you have a crush on someone right now?” well, that was a conveniently timed question. your members laughed, so you couldn’t help but laugh with them while your cheeks inhabited a very deep red color.

rei looks at you with wide eyes, “whoa.” she said. you covered your blushing face and leaned into rei, shaking your head. while your members started teasing you about how big of a trouble you were going to be in once you all play the game, you made eye contact with wonyoung, who had a fond smile on her face, and only blushed harder.

you looked away, but you couldn’t hide your shy grin.

(wonyoung’s heartbeat started racing. no way. her own cheeks started flushing pink. oh, good god.)

when the meeting ended, it only felt like there was the start to a great friendship. you hugged rei goodbye and gave yujin and leeseo a warm side hug (those two talked to you a lot during the meeting, always adding onto your ideas and looking at you attentively as you talked).

“goodbye for now.” wonyoung tells you as she approached the door with her members.

“goodbye—” your mouth clamps shut and your heart drops when wonyoung suddenly squeezed your hand before waving and bowing towards your members. once ive was out the door, you stared at your hand with wide eyes.

“holy shit, (y/n).” seeun, who witnessed the whole moment, said.

you nodded and breathlessly you replied, “holy shit.”

“i’m not the only one who saw that, right?” yujin asked, nudging wonyoung with her elbow. wonyoung has been smiling for a while now. “i can’t believe you’re going to get a girlfriend before i do.” the leader said, sighing.

~

ive was a mess in high up entertainment’s parking lot.

“i knew i wasn’t hallucinating when i saw it!” liz exclaimed, bouncing on her feet. they were, of course, talking about the very brief moment you looked at wonyoung when the producer mentioned crushes.

yujin smirked, “how did you know she was talking about (y/n)?”

“what? (y/n) didn’t even say she was crushing on me! also, that would be ridiculous. i’m just me, and she’s (y/n) of stayc.” wonyoung said, forcing herself to laugh.

gaeul stared at her, simply amazed to see the wonyoung looking so infatuated, “you’re in deep, huh?”

wonyoung paused, and once again, she found herself blushing.

yes. terribly so. jang wonyoung has had the biggest crush on you for... wow, she can’t even say exactly when. but she remembered it as clear as yesterday. being friends with rei, it made sense that you would do everything to support her and her group. so, it didn’t surprise wonyoung when you made a surprise visit during an ive comeback show. what did surprise her was how you had apparently worked hard getting the perfect bouquets for each and every member.

wonyoung found herself feeling completely enchanted by you when you handed her a beautiful bouquet. her heart melted at your words that day too.

“i saw these light pink tulips and thought of you. they’re candid, yes, but they’re very beautiful. i felt like they suit you the best — simple, but that factor is what made them so perfect. a-ah! i hope you don’t take that the wrong way! i-i wasn’t trying to insult you, or anything...”

wonyoung spent the next couple of minutes consoling you that time. those tulips were long gone now, but wonyoung never forgot about your words. ever since then, you have been on her mind, as well as her heart.

her holding your hand for a brief moment was only the start of her attempt to finally tell you of her feelings, which she hoped that you shared.

throughout the ride back to the dorms, wonyoung was smiling quietly in her seat, with only the thought of holding your hand a lot more in the future in her mind.

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance (Chapter 21 Part 2)

Word count: 20.3k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Jake x OC

Warnings: Alcohol, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Angst Including: Talks of Infidelity, Toxic Themes, Arguing, Yelling, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Abandonment, Heartbreak, Talks of Illness, Extreme Illness, Fainting, Hospitalization, Hospital Procedures and Protocols, Mentions of IV, Needles, Talks of Death and Dying. Fluff.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

JAKE POV

A knock at the door caused your eyes to flutter open from the in and out sleep you’d been in all day. The medicine they were giving you, keeping you constantly fighting off sleep. You were breathing better, but still in an incredible amount of pain, and feeling worthless to boot. You turned your head to look at your mom, who was already standing to open the door. 

As it swung open you saw Y/N, standing in the door, like your own personal angel. Your eyes widened as they focused in on her; wavy hair and red eyes, her favorite sweatshirt that always smells like her. She was upset, that much was obvious. Well, to you at least. 

“Oh sweetie! I am so glad they finally called you!” your mom said, pulling her in for a hug. You watched her wrap her arms around your mom, wishing, praying it could be you instead. 

“Jakey, it’s Y/N. Can you sit up?” your mom asks. 

You press the button on the remote and the bed sits you up, and you're positive that in your entire life you’d never felt more pathetic, as she watched you come to eye level with her. As your eyes met hers, you could see them tearing up. You hated for her to see you like this, but seeing her is the only thing you’ve wanted since you got here, and you weren’t giving it up for anything.

You looked over to your mom, who was gathering her things with a knowing grin, “I know, I know, I’ll give you two some time. I’ll be downstairs if you need me honey.” she said, walking out and closing the door behind her. 

You watched as Y/N pulled a few items out of her bag, and placed them on the counter. It looked like a change of clothes, but it was so far away you couldn’t really tell. You hoped that meant you were getting out of here soon.

She walked over to the side of the bed, sitting on the edge near your feet. “Hi…” her voice rang out like music.

“Hey…” you breathed. “I’ve been asking for you…”

“I know, they wouldn’t let me come up until they got my negative test…” she replies quietly. “You scared me Jake.”

“I know, I know. I was so stupid, I just thought it was a little cold, and that it would just go away, but it didn’t. I was fine, and then… I don’t know, it happened so quick, and then I was here and you were gone…” you stammer.

“I was scared and Sam and Danny were scared, Josh was scared. We had no idea what was going on. The doctors didn’t know what was wrong. I thought you were dying or something and I couldn’t even come see you…” she said, as a single tear slipped from her eye. 

“I was scared too. Scared this was it…I think I almost lost a lung last night.” you admit.

“Jake…” she says, another tear falling. 

“Don’t cry, please…” you beg, “I’m okay now, I think…I’m feeling a little better.” 

She puts her hands over her eyes trying to conceal her tears and sniffles.

“Come here. Come closer to me.” you ask, watching her slowly shift her body closer. 

You lay your hand on her thigh, as her eyes meet yours. “I’m sorry you thought you were going to lose me. I promise I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

She nods, and continues to blink away her tears. 

“I missed you. All I could think about was you.” you admit.

“Jake, you don’t mean that… You shouldn’t– you should be mad at me, hate me, just two days ago you told m–”

“I know, I remember what I said. I do, and I am mad. But I’ve been laying here, just staring at the ceiling, thinking… of all the things I’d rather be doing than laying here. Wishing you were here…” you say.

“You have…” she questions.

“Yeah. Remember, the other night, you told me all the things you miss about me? Well, I have a list too. I’ve always had a list. I should have told you that night. I really should have, but you’re here now. So now I’m going to tell you, because if I don’t, I think I might burst.” you answer, a smirk crossing your face. 

Her eyes search yours, “Jake, no… you need to rest, you shouldn’t even be talking. It can wait…wait until you’re thinking clearly.”

“No. It can’t. Just let me tell you, please.” you ask.

She nods her head as you move your hand higher on her leg, letting your weak hand squeeze into her thigh.

“I miss the way your mouth subconsciously sings along to the songs I’m practicing when it’s late and I’ve been in my study playing all night…songs you’ve learned just from hearing me play them over and over without even a single complaint…I miss laying in bed and arguing over what show to watch, and me finally caving and letting you pick, only for you to fall asleep on my chest five minutes later…the fuckin’ best…” you see a small smile form on her lips, as you continue.

“I miss hearing you hum along to literally any Beatles song in existence while you cook or while you’re cleaning. It’s always the Beatles. You love The Beatles white album the best…I miss your pancakes… god I would kill for those right now…and yeah, I know it hasn’t even been that long, but it feels like years. I hate it…I miss walking around town with you when the weather is pretty, watching you furiously dig around in your purse looking for cash to give to the buskers. I can’t think of one time that you haven’t given money to someone playing music. Always smiling at me and reminding me ‘that was you once’. You’re right, it was, and even then I loved you.” you go on, feeling her hand rest on top of yours. 

“I miss how you get road rage so easily, but immediately apologize after you say it. I miss taking you and seeing how you are always so nice to servers at restaurants even if they mess something up, because they ‘might just be having a bad day’…I love how much you love your parents, shit and mine too. I love how much you love the ocean, and that we both find the same tranquility on the water. But I really miss the look on your face when you’re watching us play, and knowing that I wouldn’t even look at you when I played your song the other night....I can’t take that back. But just know, next time it's for you.” 

You watch a tear fall down her cheek, as you reach up to swipe it away, pushing her hair over her ear. 

“I swear to god I don’t deserve you, Jake.” She mumbled out. 

“Shhh, stop with that shit.” You said, your already shaky breath catching in your throat as you notice the glint of the silver necklace around her neck.

You let your hand glide over it, seeing the side of it being held together by a small piece of black tape.

Oh no.

“You found it…” you breathe.

She nods defeatedly. “I know you told me not to wear it anymore, and I know I shouldn’t but… I can’t. I feel naked without it. I have been trying to not wear it around you but I saw it in my bag today and…I don’t know I just needed to.” she admits, too nervous to look at you.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” you confess.

“The chain was broken when I found it on the floor, but when you left for Michigan I tried to fix it. It was so small and I could hardly see what I was doing. I think I cried out of frustration more than anything. I just wanted to fix it. Fix one thing. I eventually found some electrical tape in your desk drawer and decided it would have to make due.” she says.

Oh my god, what did you do?

A new pain had crept into your chest but not from your sickness. She was hurting, you knew that. But you had been cruel. Mean just to be mean. You ripped it off of her neck…

“I’m so sorry.” was all you could manage. 

“I deserve everything you’ve said and done.” she whispered standing up and walking away from you to look out the window. 

“You think you can bust me out of here?” you ask, trying to lighten the dreadful mood.

She smiled a little, and shook her head. “No, I think you need to stay. Get better. I brought you some clean clothes though..” she said pointing to the counter. 

“Thank you, though I am enjoying this hospital gown. Very breathable. Might start wearing them for shows.” you smile.

Finally a genuine smile crossed her lips, the most beautiful thing you’d seen in days.

“Come here.” you asked, reaching your hand toward her.

She sat in the chair next to your bed, and placed her elbows on the edge of the bed.

“Why did you want me to come so bad Jake? Why were you asking for me? We aren’t…I thought…” she asks.

You paused, turning on your side to look at her for just a second before you answered. 

“Because…even after everything…You make me feel safe. You feel like home. You are home.” 

A knock at the door startles you both, ripping you away from the moment.

Carson comes in with her laptop cart, ready to do her check of your vitals.

“Oh my gosh! You must be the girlfriend! He has been talking about you all night!” she says.

Damn Carson, give me up why don’t you…

“Oh. No… we aren’t together…” she says, letting her face fall.

You immediately grab her hand and lace your fingers with hers giving her hand a tight squeeze.

“Well, he gave us quite the scare last night!” she says, as Y/N stares off into space.

“Wait, Y/N? You… you were in Sam’s class right?” she asks, catching Y/N’s attention.

“Yeah! Yes, sorry!” she says, refocusing on her. 

“I know we didn’t talk much but I remember you. You and Sam were best friends! I remember you two watching me kick Jake’s ass on the practice fields.” she laughs, tapping on the monitors to check your levels.

“Oh yeah, I guess I do remember that. It’s nice to see you again.” she smiles, pulling her hand from yours. 

“You’re looking good Jake. You’re looking really good. Drastic improvement since my last round. She must be your lucky charm.” she smiles, “You might even get out of here tomorrow if you keep it up.”

“She is.” you smile, looking over at Y/N, who has blushed a deep red. 

“I’ll be back tonight. Keep resting!” she says, letting the door close behind her.

You recline the bed back a bit, letting out a deep breath as the pressure dissipates from your chest. 

“Maybe you should stay laying down. I want you to rest so you can get out of here like she said.” she says, putting her elbows back on the bed. 

“I will… but, I don’t want you to leave yet.” you admit.

“I know, but Josh is here. Do you want to see him?” she asks.

God, Josh…

“Yeah, I need to. But just stay for a few more minutes…please?” you ask.

She nods her head and settles back into the stiff hospital chair, as you turn to your side to face her. 

“I do think you’re my lucky charm you know…” you say.

“I guess I just don’t feel very lucky.” she says. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask. 

She took a breath and rested her chin in her hands. “I don’t know, it feels like I’m more like your bad luck charm. So much has happened since I’ve been around, I’ve caused you a lot of unnecessary pain, Jake. And I take responsibility for that.” 

You thought about that for a minute. It wasn’t completely untrue, she had issued you some heartbreak. But knowing what you know now, about everything that happened in Vegas…your intentions with Elle, you felt pretty shitty. And she didn’t even know the extent of it. It was eating you alive not telling her the truth, especially after everything that just happened. But you couldn’t find the right time, she deserved to learn about that when everyone’s worlds weren’t so hectic from you being in this godforsaken hospital. 

“You deserve the world, Jake. And all I’ve done is rip it out from underneath you time and time again. And I’m feeling really horrible about it. Like a really bad human. I’m…working on it. I’m working on myself. I’ve realized some things lately, and I have you to thank for that. I need to grow up a bit, take responsibility for my actions and make better choices.” 

She reached and grabbed for your hand, squeezing it tightly as you took in her words. “Listen, I want you and me to work. I want us to really work out. Okay? Do you get what I’m saying? I know we’re not together at this point, but. I want to make myself the person you need again. Someone you deserve to be with. And to make that happen, I know I’ve got some shit to work on. I’ve got some baggage to unload. I’ve got to get my shit together, Jake. For you. And for me. I know it’s going to take a while, and I know you’ve been saying all these sweet things, but I’m aware of my faults that you don’t need to patch up. I’ve got to. They’re my burden. And it’s time for me to learn how to take care of you now.” 

Wow, what in the world… who is this woman?

You nodded slowly, unable to form a response. Honestly, how do you respond to that? 

“So, I’ve decided since you’re on the mend now and in better than wonderful hands, I’m gonna head back to Nashville since the next few shows are canceled…I hope that last part isn’t news to you…” she said, standing up from the chair. 

“Nah, I figured as much. Fucking pisses me off, I hate cancelling shows more than anything. But, why are you leaving? Why are you going back? We’re all here..” you said. 

“You don’t need me, Jake. Everyone’s going to go home when you’re better, I don’t need to do my job while you’re home with your family.” She went on. 

“Hey listen, Y/N. I know I’ve been so shitty toward you lately. And…I honestly hate myself for it. But I don’t want you to think you’re just an employee to us…did you not, read my text? You are my family, always will be.” You said, sitting up a bit in the bed. 

“Go stay at my parents house. Stay in Michigan, please? Don’t leave…” you reached your hand out for her to grab. She glanced at it, taking it slowly in hers. “You’re not my bad luck charm. You’ve brought me some of the greatest gifts I’ve ever known. I don’t want to be without you when I finally break out of here…okay? Please?” She nodded again, wiping a tear from her cheek. You didn’t want to bring up the fact that Andy was still on the loose, too, and she needed to be with people who could protect her, if need be. 

“Okay. Okay, I’ll go stay with them, if that’s what you want.” she whispered. 

“I do…” you said, giving her a look that said a million words. 

Just then there were three knocks on the door, and Josh was peeking his head inside. “Hey guys…”

You felt her squeeze your hand and look to you with excitement. She was overjoyed you finally got to see your brother now. 

“I’ll see you later…” she said, pulling away. You squeezed her hand harder. 

“Hey, Y/N…” you muttered. She turned back, eyes questioning. “Take care of our family while I’m in here.” 

She smiled wide with her eyes. “I promise.”

You watched as she passed Josh on her walk out, taking him in her arms into a big bear hug. “So good to see you up and at ‘em, Joshy! You okay?”

He nodded. “Better than yesterday, will be better tomorrow.” He said, rubbing her arms as she made her way to the door. 

“Heyyyyy asshole. How did I end up in here and you didn’t? Not fuckin’ fair…” you said, voice still gravely. 

He walked over and took the seat Y/N had just been in, kicking himself back with his hands behind his head. “Guess it’s because I’m the more powerful twin, obviously.”

The two of you laughed and caught up with each other, you only being attacked with a few coughs along the way. 

“I’m sorry we had to cancel some shows, it’s my most unfavorite thing on earth.” you admitted. 

“I know, mine too. But it’s okay, I know you wouldn’t have made it through. We aren’t mad at you.” He went on before leaning forward on his elbows. “Jake, ahh. You know your road to recovery isn’t gonna be a short one, right? You had a very serious illness, and it’s not just gonna go away overnight.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. What are you getting at?” You answered. 

“Well, we were all talking, me Sam and Dan, and Richard and your doctors and everyone…we think maybe we should take some time. Step back and let you heal like you need to.” He said, voice stern. 

“NO, Josh. I’m fine. We have like, fifty shows this tour, we can’t start canceling them already. I will be fine, I’m already feeling so much better.” You argued. 

“I talked to Jay from Rival Sons, we tried to come up with a solution to even maybe play together, take some of the main effort off of you, but then we all agreed that wouldn’t work either.” He said, grazing his mouth with his hand. 

“No, not ‘that wouldn’t work’. I would never agree to that!  It’s all or nothing for our shows from now on, remember? And I can give it my all, I promise Josh. I can do it. I can’t let everybody down. You guys, the crew, the fans…god. They’ve all already got tickets and planes and hotels–”

“Jake, listen. It’s already done. Sam, Daniel and I had to make an executive decision. I’m sorry. We’re picking back up in Brazil.” 

“Brazil?! That’s in like, over a month! I don’t need that long, Josh! Tell them nevermind. I can be there.”

“Jake, stop. Listen, you’re going to be healing for weeks, you’re going to have debris in your lungs for a long time. You’re still gonna have all these side effects…tiredness, a cough, dizziness, all that. And they said it could come back if you don’t allow yourself time to heal completely. You have to allow yourself that, or else…you could end up worse and we have to cancel the rest of the tour. Okay?” He said. “And I don’t need you worse, I need you better. 100%.”

“I will be, I swear. I’m already getting there. Don’t worry about me…” you spat, feeling aggravated. 

“Don’t worry about you?! Really Jake? All I’ve done for the past three days is worry myself sick about you. Hell, I could hardly breathe myself and I wasn’t even half as bad off as you were! Laying in that damn hotel bed not able to leave or call you, no one had answers and no one knew what was wrong with you. Do you know how that felt for me? Telling me not to worry about you, fuck off. You know I feel all your shit, too.” Josh said, bringing his hands in for animation. 

“You didn’t need to worry about me, Josh, damn. I’m in a hospital in good hands…they–”

“Yeah no shit! And the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with you for a good bit of time! Sam kept us up on your state, and he didn’t tell me, but I think something really bad happened to you. I can just tell he’s not telling us the whole story. Am I right?” He went on. 

You swallowed. Your memory was fuzzy, but yeah…you think something did happen. And Sam was here for it. You stayed quiet, truly unsure how to answer, because you didn’t remember much. So you just nodded. 

“I thought so. I was worried sick, Jake. I was so scared you weren’t gonna…no one was telling me anything cause they didn’t want to upset me, make me feel worse…I thought you might not make it back to me.” He said, completely vulnerable. 

Shit. 

“Brother, you know I wasn’t going anywhere, hell. They were taking good care of me here. You know I’m not going anywhere without you, we’re going out the same way we came in, remember? You shoving me out of the way to get there first…but I’ll be following you close behind.” You said, trying to offer him some solace. 

“I know, I know. But you know how your brain works when you’re helpless and sick, it wanders off to scary places. I was trying to communicate mentally with you, begging you to please stay… I just, started thinking how fuckin’ scary that would be, if you weren’t here with me anymore. In my fever dream state it felt real, and it was shit. Okay?” He rambled. 

You laughed a little. 

“What, asshole?” He barked. 

“You really love me, don’t ya Josh?” You teased. 

“Of course I love you, you idiot.” He smiled. “Just don’t ever fuckin’ scare me like that again, understood? I’m not dealing with Sam’s shit by myself for the rest of my life.” 

You laughed again. “Alright, damn. I promise.”

“Where is Y/N? I figured she’d be back by now…” he asked, looking at the clock on the wall. 

You shook your head. “I don’t think she’s coming back tonight, Josh.”

“What? Why?”

You took as deep a breath as you could. Might as well break the news now. “Things with us are…delicate right now. I fucked up. Well, we both fucked up, actually.”

“You’re kidding me. I knew something felt weird. What happened?” He asked. 

You nodded your head to the bedside table. “Gimmie my phone.” He did, and you unlocked it, scrolling to the text thread with Elle, “Just read this.”

You watched as he silently scrolled, his eyes growing ten times in size every few seconds as he read. “What the…what the fuck?” 

Finally he handed you your phone back. “What the hell, Jake? You were going to sleep with Elle?! When did this happen? Why didn’t I know about this?”

You decided to lay the entire story out for him, beginning to end, detail by detail. He was going to find out the hard way, anyway. What you were left with at the end was his face in utter disbelief. 

“God damnit, Jacob. What kind of fuckery…” 

“I know. It’s a shitshow. But, things are alright, I guess. I just had to get pneumonia before I could really kick Sam’s ass. But Elle doesn’t know they slept together, so please, let Sam deal with that on his own. We’ve all done a lot of soul searching these past few weeks, I can tell you that.” You told him. 

“All this time, you’ve known? And you’ve been okay being around Sam?” He asked. 

“Yep. Y/N and I have been lying to all of you. I had to hang it up, put it away for the sake of the band. It’s been fucking terrible.” You relented, feeling a cough coming on. 

“I’m fucking furious, Jake. At him, at Y/N…all of you. You and Elle? Really?” He seethed. 

You nodded. “I almost did it, Josh. I really did. It almost fucking happened. And Y/N was okay with it. Wild, I know. But then your drunk ass called me to come rescue you.”

“Saved by the bell?” He said. 

“Hah, I guess. Fuckin’ always cockblocking me since we were teenagers...” You clicked your tongue. “I never did that shit to you.”

“You never had to, jackass!” 

You continued your normal conversation, going on about life and what the fuck you were going to do with it. You told Josh that you told him all of that in confidence, and as mad as he was, he agreed to go along with the act until things went back to normal. 

He left, leaving you in your bed to rest a while while he went back down to the lobby. You laid there for a long time, running over everything that had occurred in the past couple of hours. Y/N, telling you she wanted to work on things. Wanted you to work out for real. It gave you a little bit of hope that she didn’t hate you like you thought she would. But still you knew deep down that you both needed time apart. It had to happen, whether you wanted it to or not. 

The canceled tour was ripping you apart. You felt the need to apologize to everyone, tell the fans you were so sorry. You decided that when you got home, you would. And you knew exactly how you’d do it. 

You grabbed the remote from behind your head and turned on the tiny TV across the room, flipping through the channels to find something, anything to take your mind off of being in here. Carson came in a while later, startling you from a sleep you didn’t realize you were in. 

“Hey, hey! Sorry I woke you. Just gonna check some things out. Can you sit up for me?” She said. 

You pushed through every ache and pain your body presented you with while you brought yourself to sit, the weight of your lungs still heavy. 

She pressed her stethoscope to your chest and back and had you breathe deeply a few times. 

“Definitely getting better, you don’t sound nearly as raspy as you did. I’m going to give you your next dose of antibiotics through your IV now. And when you’re all through these next few doses and your levels stay up, we can remove the IV. Sound good?” She said while she recorded your blood pressure. “Then you’ll move to a round of them in pill form.”

“Sounds great. Just lovely.” You said, defeatedly.

“I’m surprised you even found somewhere to put my IV in that hand, busted up as it is.” You said, lifting your right hand and inspecting it. 

“Yeah, you were so dehydrated I couldn’t find a vein in your arms at all. Hand to resort to your hand. I noticed it’s been through some things…” she said, noting all your scars. 

“Yeah, my other arm has scars from both times I broke it, but these…all these little ones…” 

She looked closer, seeing all the little places that shards of glass had ended up that night so long ago at the bar. 

“Geez, there are tons. What did you do?” She asked. 

“Shattered glass beer bottle. Had a rough time fending off some jackass one night.” You said. “Still hurts sometimes.”

“I’d say it does. I hope you won…” she said, flicking her eyes to you. 

“I like to think I did.” You smiled, huffing loudly and readjusting yourself. 

“You hate it in here, don’t you?” She asked. 

“Eh, I’d rather be on my way to our next show right now, that’s for sure. But thank you for taking care of me. You’ve really been a light during my whole stay here.” You relented, feeling thankful that she ended up as your nurse. 

“No problem, Jake. You’ve been an excellent patient. And it was good catching up with an old friend again. I don’t get to do that much.” She said, smiling as she pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Did I really give you a scare last night?” You asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah, you did. Your vitals started crashing kinda fast. You weren’t knocking on heaven’s door or anything, but. It could have gone south fast if you weren’t here already.” She clicked a few times on her computer. “We had to call in the respiratory team. You tested my training after we left this room, and your brother's sanity, that’s for sure.”

Damn, Sam must have been just as scared as you were…

You smiled at her sudden nervousness. She leaned over you to fluff your pillow behind you. As she pulled away, your hands brushed together on the bed sheets. She decided not to move it. 

Your eyes quickly flitted up to meet hers. “Did you save me, Miss Carson Neely?” 

She giggled, shyly looking away. “No, Mr. Jacob Kiszka, me and my team saved you.” 

You felt a strange wave of something sweet fly through your body, a new, light, buzzing sensation that your brain hadn’t felt in a long time. 

She gathered her things onto the cart and began to walk away. “Just think, only a couple more days in here, and you won’t have to see my face everyday anymore.” She opened the door and began to back out. “And how did you know my Instagram name?” She left, winking secretly as the door clanked shut. 

You were left stunned. You quickly grabbed your phone, opening the app and typing in the search box. 

misscarsonneely

Follow. 

HER POV

As you step out into the lobby you see the family sitting in the same place you left them, although this time they look a lot happier, with smiles on all of their faces. As you approach they wave you over as excitedly as possible.

“Were you up there when they told him?” Karen asks.

“Told him what?” you ask.

“His doctor just came down here and told us that if he continues to improve overnight they will release him tomorrow or the next day!” Karen says. 

“Oh gosh. I hope so. I know he is tired of being here.” you reply. 

“So I was talking to Kelly, I think we are gonna checkout of the hotel and head home in the morning. I want to wash his sheets and clean up the house some. Oh, and go to the grocery store…” she pauses. “Do you want to ride with us, or?” she asks.

“Oh, um, yeah I can ride with you guys in the morning. I just need to pack up our stuff tonight I guess.” you reply.

“We’re going to head back to the hotel now, do you want to come or stay here?” she asks, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I drove here, so I will follow you guys.” you answer.

“Me and Sammy and Danny are gonna stay here and wait for Josh, then we will probably head back too.” Elle says, trying to reassure you.

“Okay. Just…text me if anything happens, I guess.” you smile.

She winks at you and you wave bye to Sam and Danny as you follow Karen and Kelly out the doors. 

—

Tapping your keycard to the door you step into the hotel room, grateful that you already cleaned up a little bit earlier in the day. You tossed your things onto the dresser and flopped down onto your bed. You grabbed your phone and rolled to your side trying to catch up on all of the calls and texts you’d received in the last few days. 

You click on your thread with Karen, confirming plans to leave in the morning, and realize that you need to finish packing everything up. With a groan you roll off the bed and drag yourself over to your suitcase, setting out fresh clothes for tomorrow and collecting the rest of your things. 

As you zip your suitcase, you make your way over to his, opening it and beginning to refold everything and trying to organize it better than it currently was. Bringing a couple of his shirts to your face you breathe him in, a smell you miss desperately. A tear pricks at your eye as you remember everything he said today. He misses you too. 

Collecting his toiletries you walk them back to his suitcase and place the bag inside. The tiny white bag catches your eye again, and you try to ignore it. Pretend you never saw it. But, you did. You grabbed it, and pulled it out, walking over to the desk and situating yourself in the chair. You slide the ring out of the bag and in an act of pure insanity, slid it onto your finger. 

You held your hand out, admiring how perfect it looked on your finger as a hot tear rolled down your cheek. You stare at it, and again wonder if he really was going to propose. When he would have done it. How he would have done it…where did this ring even come from? 

You pull yourself up from the desk and continue packing his suitcase, the extra weight on your finger feeling like a thousand pounds. When everything was packed away you walked back over to the desk, giving your hand one last look before sliding the ring off and putting it back in the bag. You tuck it away at the bottom of the suitcase, hoping he would think you never even saw it. But you did. And now you’d never forget. 

—

As you slid into bed later that night, you grabbed the TV remote flipping through channels, hoping for something that would take your mind off of him. But instead you found yourself settling on The Food Network, because you know that’s what he would have picked. Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives lights up the screen and you suddenly feel as if you’re back home with Jake.

You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and opened your texts looking for your last message with him. You open the camera and snap a picture of the darkened room, with just the TV as the focus, hoping he will see what you’re watching. You attach the photo to the text and press send.

You

10:44pm: *Attachment*

10:44pm: It’s not the same without you… 

You set your phone down on the nightstand, knowing he is probably asleep, or just wont respond. You wouldn’t blame him. You watch for a few minutes as you learn about a Mexican restaurant in El Paso, silently wondering if you’d ever go to El Paso…

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand and you grab it as quickly as you can, hoping it was him. 

Jake

10:56pm: *Attachment*

10:56pm: I know…

Tears fill your eyes not only because he did reply, but his response, which included a photo of his view from his hospital bed, where he was watching the exact same thing.

You swiped your hand over your eyes as you replied.

You

10:59pm: Do you think we’ll ever go to El Paso?

Jake

11:00pm: I think we have to now...

You snapped another photo, of his suitcase zipped and ready next to his guitar case as they laid on his bed. 

You

11:04pm: *Attachment*

11:04pm: Ready for you to come home.

Jake

11:06pm: Me too baby

Baby? You feel your insides practically melt away reading the simple text again and again. 

You

11:10pm: See you soon…

Jake

11:11pm: Not soon enough.

You fall asleep that night with a warm feeling in your chest. Maybe there was hope. You knew you both needed time, and you’d gladly give him that. It was the least you could do. But you knew you would also give him every drop of love you had, and maybe, just maybe that would be enough to help the two of you weather this storm. 

JAKE POV

It was late when your eyes shot open, still blurry from the sleep filling them and the dim light of the room. You rolled over on the hard plastic-like pillow, the sheets scratching you as you twisted. You glanced at the clock, 2:20am. Blah. Only a few more hours until they come in to check your vitals and give you more antibiotics. You flipped to your side, hugging the extra pillow they’d given you, when something sitting in the chair caught your eye. 

What the hell is that? 

You flipped the overhead light on, illuminating the room with a buzzing fluorescent glow. 

It’s…a guitar?

You sat up, reaching hard to grab the neck of it, noticing a small note tucked between the strings. You unfolded it, turning it toward the light. 

Congratulations on beating bacterial pneumonia!

Thought you’d like to borrow this to get through your last day…

Don’t beat her up too much ;)

-Carson 

Holy shit, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you. You tucked the note onto the table beside you, and laid back down on the bed. You grasped the old acoustic, feeling its weight in your hands sit just right. You positioned your hands just so, and strummed a light chord. My god, the joy you felt. This was probably the longest you’d gone without holding a guitar in your hands since before you were a teenager. You tilted your head back and let out a tiny howl at the sound of it, before tuning it up just a tad. 

You had no idea how much you missed it, the feeling of your absolute favorite object in the world in your hands. Your means of communication. Your way to make an honest living. Your tool for storytelling. One of the only things that was constant for the entirety of your life so far. She’d never let you down. 

And Carson had given it to you. Well, let you borrow it, at least. You continued playing quietly until the sun was peeking through the curtains, giving the room a dull blue tint. Your fingers were starting to ache from being out of practice for the past few days, but you welcomed the feeling. The true attachment you had with this instrument was unending. 

You grabbed your phone, opening Instagram to your direct messages. You found Carson, sending her a quick message. 

You: Thank you for the loan, I haven’t been this happy in days

To your surprise, she answered. 

Carson: Not a problem at all. How does she play?

You: Perfectly. Could use a new set of strings, though ;)

Carson: Ah, I bet it does. I haven’t picked it up in quite some time. Promise, I’ll get some new ones asap

You: See you soon?

Carson: I’ll be there to sign your discharge papers :)

You locked your phone, letting your mind drift as your fingers grazed the strings again. You closed your eyes, watching as the music floated from your fingertips directly along with the colorful waves behind your eyelids. 

Oh, shit…

You grabbed your phone again, sending Josh a quick text. 

You:

5:48am: Hey, when you come pick me up later, can you have Sam get you a new thing of acoustic strings and bring them with you? Thanks please don’t forget.

Right as the sun began to hit your face, the warmth making your skin tingle, you began to think about Y/N asleep by herself, probably still worried about you. You thought about everything she’d said, how horribly you’d treated her lately…your heart started to ache. The guilt of not telling her about Elle began pulling at your insides. You were tearing yourself up, you’d waited all your life for her, and right when you both were in a perfect spot, twisted fate came in and ripped it away. 

But she had been there all day. All week. By your side. Your fingers began to play a tune you’d never heard before, never played before…light and solemn, but happy at the same time. You memorized it, writing the notes down mentally. This sounds good… You promised yourself that you’d make it work this time. You had to, you didn’t have any other choice. You hoped to god that she intended to stay this time. 

You drifted off to sleep still playing that tune, letting the guitar slip from your hands as you slept, dreaming of finally seeing your girl tomorrow.

HER POV

The ride from Saginaw to Frankemuth was short, only half an hour at most, and you spent most of the drive laughing with Kelly and Karen about the funny things your parents got into with them before you were born. 

You knew all you could do was laugh, otherwise you’d all cry about how scary things were with Jake. You hadn’t received any updates about Jake since yesterday afternoon before you left the hospital. You hoped that no news was good news, but still, another word of reassurance wouldn’t hurt. 

As you pulled into their driveway, Kelly unloaded your bags and brought them up to Jake’s room. You and Karen made a plan for the day of the things you knew you both wanted to get done before you picked up Jake tomorrow, god willing. 

You spent most of the day assisting Karen in cleaning up, doing some of Jake’s laundry, and putting fresh sheets on his bed. You two also made a trip to the grocery store, picking up a few of his favorite things. 

It was weird being in his house without him, let alone his bedroom surrounded by his things. But you embraced it. You loved him, and all you wanted was for him to come home to you. Even if it was in a different way than before.

Around 5:00 Karen got a call that he would be discharged tomorrow, and to pick him up around noon. The house was filled with happiness and joy, but also, a bit of nervousness as none of you knew what to expect with his recovery. 

You helped Karen make a huge batch of chicken noodle soup, and later that night the three of you sat around the table testing the recipe. 

“Perfect as always, my love.” Kelly said, grabbing Karen's hand. 

You felt a shock shoot through your body. Your mind flashing to a memory of Jake saying those exact words, and sounding the exact same. You wondered if you’d ever hear those words again. 

After dinner you excused yourself to bed, ready to take a shower and get a good night's sleep before your long and emotional day tomorrow. You took extra time in the shower, letting the hot water soothe your tired muscles, and relax you enough that you would fall right asleep. 

You pulled on your favorite t-shirt and a pair of his old sweatpants and slid into his bed, wishing so badly he was there next to you. You thought of him, alone at the hospital and sighed. You hadn’t heard a word from him all day, so with the rest of the courage you had, you grabbed your phone and sent him a text. 

You opened your thread with him, and hit the camera button, snapping a picture of you curled up on his pillow, and hit send. 

You

9:47pm: *Attachment*

Jake

9:49pm: My shirt, in my bed? That’s just mean…

You

9:50pm: Clean sheets too. All to myself…

Jake

9:51pm: *Attachment*

9:51pm: This is what they are calling a pillow.

You smile as you open the photo to see Jake, laying on a flattened out piece of cotton wrapped in plastic. 

You

9:52pm: Lol, don’t worry, tomorrow you can have all of these to yourself…

9:52pm: *Attachment*

You laugh, sending him a photo of both of the pillows on his bed, looking fluffy and full.

Jake

9:54pm: Then what will you sleep on?

You

9:55pm: I don’t know, one of the pillows on the basement pull out couch.

Jake

9:56pm: No, I can probably share. Just this once…

Jake

9:57pm: What are you doing?

You

9:58pm: Rifling around your room looking for treasures…

Jake

9:59pm: Hmm, want to go on a scavenger hunt?

You

10:00pm: Okay…

Jake

10:01pm: Alright, get out of my bed and walk over to the desk

You

10:02pm: Okay I’m here…

Jake

10:03pm: Okay, open the second drawer from the bottom.

You

10:04pm: Done

Jake

10:03: Okay in the very bottom of the drawer there should be a little brown cardboard box

You

10:05pm: Yes, I see it.

Jake

10:06pm: Look inside.

Pulling the box from the drawer you open it and see it filled with CD’s. You pull one of the jewel cases out and smile. Their very first CD. You grab the next one, different from the first. Flipping through four of five untitled CD’s before getting to one you recognized, Oh, Live from Detroit, I remember that…I think I was there…

You

10:10pm: Wow, is this every single one?

Jake

10:11pm: Yeah, should be. I’m pretty sure some of those are like, the only copies in existence anymore.

You

10:12pm: Is there a CD player in here? I have to listen to these.

Jake

10:13pm: Nope. Ready to see my most favorite treasure?

You

10:15pm: Yes

Jake

10:16pm: Okay, walk over to my dresser

You

10:17pm: Here

Jake

10:18pm: Ok you see all the photos stacked in the corner?

You

10:19pm: Yes

Jake

10:18pm: Okay, ignore those. Instead, look up.

You look up and are met with your reflection in the mirror. You. You are his treasure. You aren’t even sure what to say. You just stare at the screen of your phone as you feel your heart flutter.

Jake

10:20pm: It’s true. You are my most favorite treasure. 

You swallow back the lump in your throat and walk back over to the bed, sliding in once again and snuggling up to his pillow. 

You

10:22pm: You know you’re mine too, Jake…

He doesn't respond and you figure he probably fell asleep, and you weren’t too far behind him. You place your phone on the nightstand and turn off the lamp, ready to let sleep take you away when you hear it buzz again. 

Jake

11:01pm: Remember when we used to sneak out of my window and sit on the roof and smoke so my parents wouldn’t know?

You

11:03pm: Lol yes and I was always afraid we were going to get too high and fall off.

Jake

11:05pm: You know I’d never let anything happen to you.

You

11:07pm: I know…

Jake

11:09pm: Wish we could go back.

You

11:07pm: There’s a lot of things I wish I could go back and redo.

Jake

11:11pm: All part of the journey babe, good or bad.

You

11:13pm: More bad than good…

Jake

11:14pm: And I’m still here…

You

11:16pm: But it’s not the same.

Jake

11:18pm: Not yet.

You

11:20pm: But maybe?

Jake

11:21pm: Definitely maybe

You

11:23pm: Then maybe I can make you pancakes and sing Sam Cooke with you?

Jake

11:25pm: God I fuckin’ hope so baby.

You

11:27pm: Me too. 

Jake

11:30pm: Enjoy that bed to yourself while you can…

You

11:31pm: Like it better when you’re here.

Jake

11:32pm: Me too. Goodnight babe

You

11:33pm: Night Jake ❤️

You placed your phone on the nightstand, hugging his pillow tightly to your chest, letting out a breath it felt like you'd been holding in for weeks. And as you fell asleep, you let yourself believe that things might actually be okay. 

—

You tapped your fingers nervously on the arm of the couch, you were ready to go, and you had been for nearly two hours. The clock ticking by slower than it ever has. The hospital called again this morning to confirm Jake’s discharge, and Josh was planning to meet you there and ride back with the three of you. 

“You ready to go get your man?” Karen asked jokingly.

You laughed nervously, “Yeah, I think he did his time.” you replied as you followed her out the door. 

The ride to the hospital was nervous but hopeful, you and Karen chatting about the weather and anything else you could think of, but the closer you got the more the nerves set in. Things between you and Jake had taken a drastic turn in the past two days, talking more than you had in the past few weeks. 

As you stepped into the hospital and made your way to the elevator, Josh greeted you with hugs and ‘hellos’.

“Have you been waiting long?” you asked.

“No, not really, had to come up here earlier actually, Jake needed guitar strings? I don’t know. I didn’t ask, came and brought them up and they were getting ready to start his discharge. Checked out of my hotel room and just got here a few minutes ago.” he said.

Guitar strings?

The three of you rode the elevator up to the fourth floor and you took a deep breath as Josh knocked on his door. 

Seconds later the door was opening, and for the first time in days you saw Jake behind it. 

“Wow, honey you are looking better!” Karen said, pulling him in for a hug. As he hugged her back his eyes met yours, looking much more lively than just a day ago. 

“You ready to get the fuck out of here?” Josh joked.

“Hell yes, what took you guys so long?” he laughed.

With Karen and Josh looking to you now, you stepped forward towards him as he reached his arms out to you. He wrapped his arms tightly around you like it was the only thing tethering him to earth. His face buried into your neck breathing you in as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“God, I am so glad to see you.” he said. Part of you wondering if he meant it or if this was part of his act. 

He pulled away quickly as a cough shook through his chest, not nearly as bad as it was, but still not great. 

“Alright alright, let's get you home and back into bed. You’re not healed yet, son.” Karen said playfully.

He nodded and grabbed his few items, before stepping through the door and grabbing your hand in his. 

“Hey, thanks for the serenade all night, that’s a story I’ll be able to tell my grandkids one day.” The guy at the nurses station said, saluting Jake as you left. 

“Tell them you listened to me write a new song in a hospital bed!” he responded. 

“Did you really write something new?” Josh asked, leaning in close. 

“Sure did. It’s pretty sweet…think you’ll like it, too.” he said, looking over to you, his sweet grin filling your stomach with butterflies as he squeezed your hand. 

You were completely unaware that the emotions he came to terms with while laying in that bed inspired something beautiful and brand new. 

The two of you walked hand in hand to the elevator, taking the short ride down to the lobby with Karen and Josh. 

As you loaded into the car Josh joined Karen up front and Jake sat in the back with you. Each of you sat on your respective sides of the car, casting glances at each other every few seconds. You could hardly tear your eyes away from him, dressed in your most favorite item in the world. You wondered if he really meant it all those days ago when he said it wasn't his favorite. That he was going to donate it. You hoped he wouldn’t, and thankfully he didn’t.

He talked to Karen and Josh most of the drive home, but still he would look at you, the color back in his face and a small smile on his lips. 

He stretched his arm over the headrests, letting his hand fall at the nape of your neck. His fingers gently dusting the skin there as he continued to talk. Your mind began swirling with the memory of the last time you felt his touch this way. So soft and gentle. You looked over at him meeting his eyes as his thumb pressed into your skin letting you know he was thinking the same things you were.

Minutes later you were pulling into the driveway and making your way up to the front door. Sam and Elle had arrived while you were gone and were happy to see Jake in better condition. You ushered Jake upstairs, knowing he still needed tons of rest and that it was almost time for his next dose of antibiotics. He agreed, slowly making his way upstairs to his bedroom as you followed behind him. 

JAKE POV

She shuts the door behind her and leans against it as you walk over to your suitcase, laying open on the floor. You pick up a t-shirt noticing its soft texture and folded state. You pull it to your nose breathing in the scent and feeling your body physically relax. 

“Did you wash my clothes?” You ask, looking over to her still leaning against the door. 

Her eyes flick up to yours nervously, “Oh, um yes.”

You bring the shirt to your nose again breathing it in. Smells just like her.

“How does it– it smells just like you?” you question.

“Your mom and I went to the store yesterday. I picked up the laundry soap we use at home, thought it might…I don’t know, make you feel better or something.” she answers.

You stand up from your suitcase, throwing the shirt over your shoulder and walking over to her. You grab her hands and pull her into your arms, wrapping them tightly around her. Her arms snake around your back, her hands gripping into you as the two of you stand there breathing each other in. 

“Thank you.” you whisper. 

“You’re welcome…” she replies. 

You release her, stepping back and just looking at her. Really looking at her. You can tell she is nervous. After the way you’d treated her the last few weeks, you’d be nervous around you too. 

You pull off the flannel and toss it into the suitcase, pulling the black t-shirt over your head and pulling on the one you’d grabbed from your suitcase. You kicked off your jeans and threw your phone onto the bed, as she turned away.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, as you turned your attention back to her. “Hey, c’mere…”

She walked over to you, as her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She pulled it out, and looked at the screen before her eyes flashed to you.

“Time for your meds…” she said.

“Oh, are you my nurse?” you asked playfully.

“For now, though I am probably not as qualified as Carson.” she laughed.

Shit. Did she know?

“Your mom and I made chicken noodle soup for you yesterday. Do you want some? Then you can take your medicine?” she asks.

“You made it?” you ask.

“Well, yeah. Me and your mom. It’s your moms recipe, I just helped.” she admits. 

A smile crosses your face, “Yes. Please.”

“Okay, stay here. I will be back in a few.” she says, disappearing through the door.

Just ask her when she comes back. It’s just Y/N. Why are you so nervous?

A few minutes later as you’re laid back on your pillows your bedroom door opens and you see Y/N and Elle carrying in all kinds of things. 

“Brought you lunch! And snacks! Heard they were starving you in there!” Elle says. 

“I think prison food would have tasted better.” you laugh.

“Well this should be good, especially if Y/N made it.” she smiles.

“I just helped! I swear I didn’t do anything special!” she interjects.

“Sure you did. You made it for Jake right?” she asks.

A puzzled look crosses Y/N’s face, “Yeah?”

“So it was made with love. That makes everything special.” she says, scampering back through the bedroom door, shutting it behind her. 

Y/N places the bowl of soup, crackers, and water for you at your desk, motioning for you to come over. You stand up from the bed and walk over, mouth already watering just from the smell alone. You sit down and turn to her, as she places the two white pills in your hand. 

“I will be downstairs if you…need anything. You can just text me or whoever…” she says, backing up towards the door.

“You’re leaving?” you ask.

“Well, I figur–”

“You figured wrong. Stay…Hang out with me for a little bit?” you ask.

“Are you…sure?” she asks.

“Find a movie for us to watch?” you offer.

A smile slides across her face and she tries to stifle it back. She kicks off her shoes and grabs some clothes from her suitcase, running off to the bathroom to change. Minutes later she is walking back into your room in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. You swallow nervously as you take her in. Your favorite girl.

She grabs the TV remote, climbing into your bed and nestling herself into the blankets. You have a hard time keeping the smile from your own face, knowing it would be mere minutes until you were there next to her.

—

You were nervous to crawl into bed with her, but you knew once you were there everything would fall into place. It always did. You slid into the bed, pulling the familiar blankets up over your body, as she hit play on the movie. 

You rolled to your side looking up at her, deeply invested in the movie starting on the tiny screen across the room. You had no idea what movie she picked and honestly you didn’t care. The medicine you had to take made it hard for you to keep your eyes open for longer than five minutes at a time. It had been too long since you were able to just relax with her. Not a care in the world, just you and her and that's it. 

“You want this, or do I get to use it?” she smiles, offering you the pillow behind her.

You smiled back, “You can use it, but I have the freedom to change my mind at any moment.” you say playfully. She lays down into it, closing her eyes as she breathes you in. Her eyes reopen and look at you as her hand suddenly comes up towards your face. 

Her fingers gently glide over your top lip, “I kind of like the mustache Jake. It’s…I don’t know…It’s hot.”

“I couldn’t shave in the hospital, been a few days. You like it?” you ask.

Her fingers run over it again, lingering for an extra second, “Yeah. I do. Maybe you should try it out.” she smiles.

“I don’t know, maybe.” you reply, rolling to your back.

A cough rips through your chest as you turn away from her, but you feel her hand press to your chest, warm and soft even through your thin t-shirt.

You roll back with a sigh, wondering how long this cough will stick around. 

“You know, I kind of feel like this is partly my fault.” she said resting her face on her arm. 

“What? No? Why?” you question.

“The other day, in the hotel room, you were kind of out of it, coughing here and there, kept getting headaches…I asked you if you were sick and you said no, but I knew you were. I should have made you go to the doctor sooner.” she says quietly.

You roll towards her, letting your feet graze against hers, “I shouldn’t have pretended that I was okay. Just, with everything that was going on, I couldn’t deal with that too. It caught up with me though. I was stupid for thinking it wouldn’t.”

“Thank you, for taking me to the hospital though… I…am glad you were there, in the room with me. I’m glad I didn’t move you to your own room.” you admit.

Her foot slides against your leg, sending a shiver through your body, “I did. I changed all the rest of our hotel bookings for the rest of the tour. I got my own room so you didn’t have to be near me.”

“Why?” you ask, unsure you even wanted to hear the answer.

“Because you’ve spent the past two weeks showing me that’s exactly what you wanted.” she says, driving a dagger straight through your heart.

You grab her arm pulling her to lay on your chest as you wrap your arms around her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I was mean. I didn’t want to be, I was just…hurting. I shouldn’t have said those things. They aren’t even true.”

“No, I deserved it. I still do.” she says, cheek to your chest.

“Will you just, lay here with me?” you ask, into her hair.

“Am I allowed to touch you?” she whispers.

“Of course you can touch me, baby.” you answer, completely shocked that she thinks she needs to ask. 

Her hand snakes up under your shirt, resting on your chest. You can tell by her urgency that she had probably been thinking about it for a long time. You knew laying with you like this was one of her favorite things in the world. Her fingers rubbed small paths over your skin, almost like she was re-familiarizing herself with your body. You missed the way her skin felt on yours, and if it was up to you, you wouldn’t move from this spot for the next three days.

It was quiet between the two of you for a while, just the gentle rise and fall of your hand on her shoulder as she breathed. The movie continued to play across the room, but neither of you were watching it. You knew that both of you had fallen into a deep spiral of what exactly had happened between the two of you that you’d ended up here, together, but not at all.

—

The two of you later found yourselves seated around the kitchen table as your mom finished cleaning up dinner, finding that the extra long nap earlier had you waking up feeling even better than you had this morning. Part of you wondered if it was because Y/N was wrapped around you, or maybe just the new medicine you’d been given. Either way, you were starting to get into better spirits, even given your current situation.

“Our flight is leaving tomorrow, Daniel’s too.” Sam said, leaning back in the old wooden kitchen chair.

“Sammy do not lean in my chairs, the rules have not changed!” your mom yelled from across the kitchen. 

You lifted your middle finger, flipping him off with a shit eating smile as he rolled his eyes and sat back down. He scoffed and flipped you off with both hands cutting his eyes at you.

“Samuel Francis!” your mom yelled, peeking her head around the corner seeing Sam with two middle fingers in the air.

“No! That was to Jake, not to you!” he said, trying to explain. You let a small laugh leave your chest as you watched him get scolded.

“Don’t let me see that again…” she said pointing at him and returning to the kitchen.

“Fuck you Jake…” he muttered under his breath.

“No, fuck you, Sam.” you replied with a grin.

“Annnnyways….I’m probably gonna stay here with Jake, someone has to drive his ass home, and I’m not making Y/N do it.” Josh says.

“What! I can do it!” she interjects.

“I know you can, but I need you to watch him while I’m driving. I can't be chauffeur and nurse.” he laughs.

“When do you think you’ll be ready to head back?” he asks.

“Probably, like…another day or so? I am feeling way better. I could probably drive, honestly.” you say but are met with a resounding ‘No’ from everyone seated around the table.

“Jake, you can barely keep your eyes open.” she smiles.

“Okay, so tentatively the day after tomorrow…”Josh says.

“Yeah, I think so. Y/N?” you ask.

“Yeah, whatever you guys want.” she answers, as you slide your hand to rest on her leg. You feel her hand grab yours and give it a tight squeeze before she stands up and walks into the kitchen.

Sam and Elle follow after her, leaving you and Josh to sit at the table. 

“I think I would kill a man for a beer.” you say.

He laughs, and pats you on the shoulder, “Damn, you are feeling better, huh?”

You nod and send him a smile.

“I’m glad. Was scared there for a minute.” he admits.

“You can’t get rid of me, fucker…” you laugh.

Y/N walks back in with a glass of water and another handful of pills, handing you both, as she watches you take them. 

“Gonna go take a shower, don’t stay down here too long or I’m starting the next episode without you.” she says, with a smirk.

“I’ll be up in a bit.” you say, squeezing her hand as she walked away and disappeared up the stairs.

“So, are you two like…good now?” he asks.

“I mean, no. I haven’t even told her about Elle yet. Gonna wait until we get home. I just… I spent the last two weeks being a complete dick to her. Hated her, or– what she did to me. Said some really fucked up shit to her, then I found out what happened with me and Elle, and knew I fucked up. Knew I overreacted. That morning I was going to try to start being nice to her again, but then, next thing I knew I was in the fucking hospital. I spent the entire time I was in the hospital thinking about her. I fucking love her man, that shit doesn’t just go away. As much as I wanted to hate her and never talk to her again, when that alert thing started going off and I couldn’t breathe…when I thought I was about to fuckin’ die… It was her. I know it’s always going to be her.” you pause as he nods his head. 

“So I wake up and she's in my hospital room and she’s just… god, I don’t even know. Just so attentive and wants to listen to me, and be there with me. How could I not want to forgive her? I put her through hell, and I know, she’s no angel, but even after all the shit I said to her, she still came. I know I hurt her, but I know she still loves me too.” you finish.

“She does Jake. But what her and Sam did is a far worse offense than what you and Elle did.” he says.

“I know. I know that, but…I feel just as guilty. I was planning to do the same thing. I just…how can I stay mad at her when she all but gave me free reign. The only difference is that I didn’t give her permission.” you say. 

“Would you have given it?” he asks.

“No? I don’t know? Maybe? That whole night is a fucking blur, I barely, barely remember it. It was like a movie, man. Wild shit and bad decisions happening everywhere. Way too much alcohol. We were having fun, we all felt really free, I guess. One of those once in a lifetime nights, ya know? Do you know that I came and slept in your room that night?” you ask.

“What? No.” he replies.

“Yeah, after I told her we were done, I left the room. I didn’t know where to go, so I slept on the couch in your room. Left before you got up. Tried to talk to her again, went pretty fucking poorly, so I went to the bar and drank myself stupid.” you confess.

“I just feel like…I got really lucky that she was in the room with me the other night. I don’t know what would have happened if she wasn’t. I got a second chance, you know? So why shouldn’t I give her one, too?” you finish.

“That’s your call brother. I know she loves you. I know you love her. But sometimes things aren’t that cut and dry. I know you’ll make the right call though. You always do. I’m glad you are feeling better and I’m glad you told me about everything. You know I will help you any way I can.” he says, standing up from the table. 

“I realized while I was in the hospital that I don’t tell you guys that I love you, nearly enough. You know I’m not an emotional kind of guy, but… I do, love you.”

A smile crosses his face at your confession, “I love you too Jakey. And for the record you might be the most emotional guy I know.”

You smile and pat his back as you walk away up the stairs, trying to keep your heart rate down and avoid a coughing fit. You twist the door knob, and as you step inside you see Y/N squatting down in front of her suitcase looking for her pajamas, her towel twisted on top of her head. 

You’d missed seeing her like this. Sure you’ve been with her nearly every night in the hotel room, but something about being here was different. You pulled your shirt over your head and tied your hair up at the base of your neck, letting your sweats fall to the floor before sliding into your bed with a groan. Your body was sore from all the coughing you’d done the past few days, and your muscles were extremely tight as a result. 

Y/N flipped the towel off of her head, dragging her brush through it, and tossing it back into her suitcase. She had on her normal pajamas of an oversized t-shirt and panties, though she’d been opting for shorts as well more recently. You were interested to see what she would choose tonight. 

She looked over her shoulder as you watched her make the decision, and as she shut her suitcase you couldn’t help the smile on your face. She turned off the overhead light, leaving the room lit by the TV, as she crawled over you into the bed. 

“You gonna turn it on?” she asks, positioning herself under the blankets.

“What?” you ask.

“Our show?” she answers, so normally. 

“Do you want me to?” you ask.

“Well yeah. Don’t you want to know what's going to happen to the cigarette smoking man?” she asks.

You turn to her and pull her into your side, letting her cuddle up to you in her favorite spot as you hit play on the remote.

About halfway through the episode you feel your eyes starting to get heavy, thanks to that damn medicine. You have been lazily running your fingers through her still damp hair, and halfway paying attention to the show on the screen as you just enjoy the feeling of her draped over your body.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand causing both of you to turn your heads. You reach over and grab it, pulling it out in front of you to see who it is. You and Y/N both squint at the brightness of your screen as you quickly turn it down. 

You click on the notification letting it open your Instagram DM’s and seeing Carson's name appear at the top.

Carson:You changed my strings? You didn’t have to do that! You’re a sweetheart. 💕

Your heart starts to race as you quickly lock your screen and place the phone back on your nightstand, hoping she didn’t see. 

“So that’s why you needed strings…” she says, laying her head back down on your chest.

“Just trying to be nice. She practically saved my life you know…” you say, hoping to play it off.

A few minutes pass and it's silent between the two of you. You swallow nervously as you grab the remote and pause the show, before turning off the TV. She turns to look at you, resting her chin on your chest.

You turn onto your side, letting her fall beneath you, as you cup her face in your hand.

“For three days that woman had to listen to me ask for you. Beg, really. Were we good friends in highschool, yeah, sure. But I haven’t talked to her since graduation. She did something nice for me, so I did something nice for her. If anyone knows how I feel about you, it’s her.” you say.

“How do you feel?” she asks.

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told Josh. When I was scared to death, thought I was about to die, your face was all I could see.” you reply.

“Really?” she breathes.

You lay your face onto hers, letting her lips lay against your cheek, as you force yourself not to show her exactly how you feel. “Yeah, baby.” you whisper.

“You wanna go to sleep?” you ask.

“Will you hold me?” she asks, the tone in her voice nervous that you might say no.

You roll her to her side and pull her into your chest, letting your head settle into your pillow as you twist your fingers with hers. It feels so, so good to be with her like this. Your missing piece. 

You breathe in deeply and let it go, finally feeling the weight lift from your chest as you let your eyes close. Suddenly you feel her turning in your arms, her face centimeters from hers.

“Hey Jake?” she whispers. 

You open your eyes and see her looking back at you, “Yeah?”

“It’d be you, too.” she says.

You send her a puzzled look. 

“If I was dying. It would be you, for me. It always has been.” she breathes.

You grab her face with your right hand, cupping her cheek as you press your lips to hers in the kiss that has been dancing between the two of you all day. Her lips are soft and full, and warm, and everything you thought about for the past two weeks without her. Her hand snakes up your bare chest, resting on your neck as she kisses you back; her lips like velvet as they move against your own. 

After a minute you force yourself to pull away from her, just looking into her eyes for a few seconds, before you pull her body back into yours and lay down on your pillow. Though this time you are holding her closer, and holding her tighter, knowing you can’t let her go again. Not ever.

“Goodnight, love.” you whisper softly into her ear.

She rolls her neck to the side, letting you place one soft barely there kiss to her skin as she whispers back to you in her perfectly sleepy voice, “Goodnight, babe.”

HER POV

Evening was drawing near again; you’d spent almost the entire day at your parents’, soaking in the hours you had with them and explaining everything that had been happening the past few days. They were devastated to hear about Jake’s health and the cancellation of the next shows, but they agreed it was in his best interest. 

After dinner and more sweet goodbyes, you told them you were off to play nurse again, and you’d call them when you got back to Nashville. 

You crept back into Jake’s house, the smell of leftover dinner aroma filling your nose. It seemed though mostly everyone had gone to bed, until you heard laughing outside on the back porch. 

You waltzed to the sliding door, peeking through the blinds and found Jake and Josh sitting and talking, bundled up with jackets and scarves. 

You slowly opened the sliding door, and poked your head out. “What are you two doing? It’s freezing out here!”

“No it’s not, Y/N, you’ve just gotten accustomed to the warmth of Tennessee.” Josh laughed. Normally you would find them out here having a beer or sharing a joint, but both of those things weren’t allowed in the house for quite a bit yet. 

“Yeah. Both our doctors told us fresh air would do us some good, so here we are…” Jake said. “I’ll be in in a minute, though.”

“Take your time, get all the fresh air you can! I need you both well.” You closed the door quickly behind you, stopping the brisk air from entering the house. You wondered if Jake had told Josh about anything, and you wondered how he was going to react when he finally did. You weren’t looking forward to that. 

You’d been cuddled up in Jake’s bed reading a book when you heard his door squeak open. You turned sleepily to find him pulling off his scarf, hat, coat, and all the layers he had bundled up in. 

“Hey, whatcha been doing today?” You asked. 

When he was down to his boxers, he climbed in bed beside you, pushing his chilled body against yours. “Missing the hell out of you, that’s what I’ve been doing.”

“God, Jake! You’re so cold, quit!” You laughed and pulled away as he placed his cold hands on your stomach. 

“But I need you to warm me up!” He complained as he grabbed you again, pulling you closer. His freezing cold face was buried in your neck, his hot breath a contrast to the frozen nose pressed into your ear. You felt your whole body tingle, feeling him this close again. Mmm, slow down Jake. But also please don’t…

You let your body roll over against his, sucking up the fact that he was almost frozen solid and giving you chill bumps. “Ahh, that’s better…” he said as he shivered into you, letting out a low growl as he thawed out. Your lips traveled on their own, slipping down the curve of his cold neck, laying tiny kisses as you trailed down to his shoulder, your body begging you to keep taking it further. 

But you couldn’t. You had to go slow, keep your feelings at bay. You weren’t together…but then you saw his deep brown eyes flick up to yours, his eyelids heavy already. His hand grabbed the back of your neck softly, pulling you to meet face to face. Your lips fought to reach out to his, connecting again like they had last night. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this…” he whispered. 

“No, we shouldn’t.” You answered, as he pulled your neck again, letting you stop just millimeters from his lips. You let your tongue sneak out, brushing it into his mouth before pressing your lips to his in a flurry of hitched breaths and grabbing hands. His kiss was hurried and hot, pulling you over on top of him. His hands buried in your hair, and yours cupping his head. It was fast and frantic, like you’d been starved for one another for years upon years. Finally, so perfect. Your Jake…

…but wait. Suddenly you pulled away, disconnecting the two of you as you wiped your lips off with your hand. You shook your head quickly from side to side. “This isn’t right Jake. We can’t…” you laid back down beside him. 

“Fuck you’re right. You’re right you’re right. We can’t. I’m sorry, I just–”

You leaned in and kissed him again, the pull to him overtaking your entire mind, body and soul. He kissed you back, this time slow and sweet, the kind that set your insides on fire. You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips at the overwhelming feeling of passionate want for him swimming through your body. 

“Mmm, gotta stop making those noises baby, driving me crazy already…” he whispered between deep, engulfing kisses. “We can’t be doing these things…breaking our own rules…”

You rolled him so you were on your back, him hovering over you. His hand instinctively reached down and pulled your leg over his, hitching it and burying his hand in your hip. 

“Truly not the best idea…we should really stop while we’re ahead…” you breathed into him, tongues searching into each other’s mouths again. “But we never came up with any rules though, did we?” You stated more than asked. 

“Mm, nope. We should have laid some down.” He said, gritting his teeth together, flexing his jaw and moving his eyes from your lips down to your breasts. “What’s rule number one, baby? Tell me what we can’t do…” he said, kissing you hard again. 

Your mind was swirling, fighting between wanting to say fuck it and sleep with him, and deciding that you needed to stop. Truly stop. And show yourselves that you could do it. It was time to grow up…but god…his hands on you…

“Rule number one is no kissing.” You said as he brushed his hand down your neck, pulling your tit into his hand and squeezing it, the touch alone making you want to moan obscenities. He pulled his mouth away from yours. 

“Okay, no kissing. Got it.” He breathed, chest heaving. 

“Rule number two, no touching, like that…” he firmly gripped your tit again, pulling and twisting your nipple just the way you fuckin liked. 

“Okay, no touching like that. And three?” He asked, body buzzing. 

“Rule three is… I still get to tell you I love you every single day, how much I care for you, and how sorry I am that I hurt you so badly. How much I want to make this work. And how much I want you to be the person I wake up next to every single morning for the rest of my life.” You spit the words out before you could think about them, and they took him by a little bit of surprise. 

He sat back, admiring you. A small smile crept to his lips as he brought his lips to your forehead, kissing it hard. He nodded. “Okay. Okay baby.”

You let yourselves calm down, settling into a state of relaxation again after getting so worked up. 

“So, you never said no sex, though. So we can still do that, right? Just no kissing or touching?” He said after a few minutes. You rolled up and smacked him across the chest. 

“Jacob!” You laughed. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Lay back down. Go to sleep.”

“Gonna be hard to go to sleep after feeling you like that again…” you said, laughing. 

“No shit, I already wanna break those rules so fuckin’ bad.” He laughed too, both of you realizing how much you turned each other on. 

“Jake, I wanna tell you something.” You sat up on your elbows. “We both know we’ve got to give each other time, right? We owe it to each other.” He nodded.

“I talked to Logan, and he and a couple friends have a big house, and they’re looking for one more roommate. I told him that I’d take the room. I think it would be best for us, right now. So we can truly have our space away from each other.” You went on. You watched his face fall. “Things feel okay right now, but let’s be honest Jake, I hurt the hell out of you. And I still harbor that guilt. I’ve got to have my time, and I have to give you yours.”

He sighed deeply. You could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t like the idea, but he understood where you were coming from. You thought back to how horribly he talked to you just a week ago, how awful things were…you didn’t want to end up there again. 

“Can we talk more about it tomorrow?” He asked. You could tell his meds were kicking into overdrive. 

“Yeah, babe. Tomorrow.”

You both ended up cuddling again, each of you falling asleep with the love of your life. And you promised yourself right there that you’d spend everyday proving it to him. 

——

The next morning you woke up early to head back home, Jake finally having more strength than he had all week. It was good seeing color in his face again and you knew he was anxious to get back to Tennessee. 

You made your home in the backseat while Josh hopped into the drivers seat, and Jake manned the copilot seat. You’d made yourself a little bed in the back, ready to curl up with your book. 

You’d been on the road maybe an hour or so when you got a text from Jake. 

Jake

9:12am: Please don’t move out

You

9:13am: Jake, you know we need our space right now

Jake

9:15am: Yes, we do. So I’ll just go to the guest room. You can have our bedroom again. Just… please stay. Don’t go away.

You looked out the window at the passing trees, knowing in your heart that you truly didn’t want to move out. But could you make it work? Moving away from him seemed like a good idea, but also, what if it wasn’t? What if it drove you even further apart? What if so much time passed, that you never ended up coming back? 

You

9:20am: Okay. One condition. 

Jake

9:21am: Tell me

You

9:22am: The guest room is mine.  

——

A while later, you’d made it to somewhere deep in Kentucky when you felt your stomach rumble. 

“Do you guys wanna stop for food soon? I’m starving.” You said, closing your book. 

“Hell yes I’m starving too.” Josh said, bringing up his GPS. “Jake, you’ve had nothing but jell-o and hard boiled eggs for 4 days, you pick where we go.” 

“Do you guys really wanna know what I want?” Jake went on. “You can’t say no…”

Josh nodded. “Yeah okay I guess…”

“I want fuckin’ Dairy Queen. Chicken strips, and honey mustard, and french fries, and a giant turtle blizzard.” He said, making weird mouth sounds as he talked. “My mouth is literally watering right now. All I could think about in that damn hospital bed was fucking up a blizzard bigger than my face.”

You and Josh erupted with laughter. “Of all the places in the world, and you want Dairy Queen?” He laughed at his twin. 

“What do you have against the Queen of Dairy, Josh?” Jake said blankly, his British accent coming back full force. “Shit’s delicious and that’s where I want to go, got it, damn it?”

You were laughing hard now. “I love Dairy Queen. Sounds good to me babe.” 

Josh raised his eyebrows. “Oooookay then, find the closest one.”

——

Jake was still eating his ice cream on the walk back to the car, a giant smile planted across his face as his red spoon hung from his lips. 

“I’m gonna sit in the back with you. I’m getting tired.” He said, going around to the back door of the car. 

“Meds kicking in already?” You asked. 

“Yep. Big time. Plus I know if I lay down in your lap you’ll play with my hair.” He said, raising his eyebrows in question. 

“I don’t remember making that deal, now.” You answered, knowing that yes, you would play with his hair if he laid in your lap. 

Josh started the car up again and rerouted the GPS. “Josh, I didn’t even see if you needed a break, want me to drive any?” You asked. 

“No no, you coddle him. I’m good to go. Had me my strawberry sundae so I’m ready for the next 200 miles, baby.” He said, placing his sunglasses over his eyes and pulling out of the lot. 

Jake finished his oversized blizzard and put the cup in the door, curling his legs up underneath him as he laid his head onto your lap. He then fished around behind him for your hand that was once again holding your book, grabbed it, and threw it on his own head. “Pleeease?” He whined. 

You giggled, knowing he wanted you to play with his hair. So you obliged, holding your book in your left hand and pulling through his long silky strands with your right. 

You didn’t even notice him on his phone at first, but your eyes inadvertently popped down to his screen below your book. You saw the name Carson, and immediately your stomach fell. They’re still talking? What could they be messaging about? But you couldn’t say a word. It wasn’t your place. 

“Ya know Jake, with your peach fuzz mustache growing in and your hair getting longer by the day, you might actually turn into a pirate by the time we get back home.” You laughed. 

“Mmm, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” He said flirtatiously look up at you. 

“Uggghhhhhh…gross.” Josh said from the front. “Don’t make me turn the music up louder cause I will.”

“I’m thinking about cutting it. I miss how bouncy it was. Now it just sticks to my face when I sweat. I hate pulling it off my neck during shows.” Jake went on, his voice getting sleepier. 

“But that’s what they love, Jake. Haven’t you seen all those crazy people on your TikTac or whatever that things called? Wanting to collect your sweat in fucking vials and shit?” Josh yelled. 

“Oh my God, Josh!” You laughed hard. 

“What? I can’t help it that I’m a super fuckin’ sexbeast on stage! It’s not my fault…” Jake laughed, obviously feeling himself from the medication and overload of sugar.

“My god, you two are insane. And don’t call yourself a ‘sexbeast’ ever again.” You mumbled, going back to your book. You rode on for a little bit, feeling a bit drowsy yourself. Your eyes kept flitting open and closed while the words began to jumble. 

Suddenly you saw a finger flick down onto your page. “Ya like it so far?” Jake asked through a yawn. 

You smiled. “Yeah, I’m really into it. I hope you don’t mind I borrowed it…” you said, realizing you never asked. 

“What’s mine is yours, babe. And that is one of my favorites.” He said, tucking his hand between your thighs, and curling up on your lap again, letting himself drift off into a much needed slumber. You traced the plains and curves of his face with your fingers, letting them drag over his eyebrows and down the slope of his nose. Even in his sleep he would whine at the pleasant feeling, leaning into your touch. You loved him. More now than ever before. The thought of losing him, showing you everything you already knew, in a whole new light.

An hour or so passed and you somehow manage to stay awake, the upbeat lull of Josh’s quirky playlists keeping your mind piqued. 

“Almost home, you wanna drop Jake off at the house then take me to the office to get my car?” Josh asked, turning the music down. 

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” You said, placing a dog ear on your page and setting the book on the floorboard. 

A bit later you pulled onto your street, the sun beginning to dip low in the sky. You jostled Jake awake as best you could. “Hey Jake, we’re home. You wanna go ahead inside? I’m gonna take Josh back to his car.”

He stretched, rubbed his eyes, and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll get the bags and stuff out.” You all slinked out of the car, stretching your legs after the long ride. 

“Ahh, feels good to be back in the non frigid temperature, eh guys?” Josh said, helping to pull your suitcases from the back of the car. “I’ll get it brother. You don’t need to get winded.” He handed him a small bag, and wheeled his larger one up to the door. 

“I’ll be back in just a bit.” You told Jake as you placed your suitcase inside the front door. 

You switched Josh out to take the driver’s seat, adjusting the chair and mirrors a bit to fit your liking. This was going to be your first time alone with Josh, and you wondered if Jake had mentioned anything. 

You’d been on the road just a few minutes before he spoke up. 

“You know, you guys don’t have to keep the charade up when you’re around me, right?” He asked, breaking the ice. 

Fuck. Of course Jake told him. 

“Ah, Jake had a little conversation with you, didn’t he?” You said, flipping the blinker to turn into traffic. 

“He did. I’m still not very happy with you, Y/N. I hope you know. Sam either.” He said blankly. Ouch. Would you ever stop hurting Josh, too? 

“I know you’re not, Josh. I wouldn’t be happy with us either. Hell, I’m still so mad at myself I can hardly see straight.” You were both quiet for a bit before you decided to keep going. 

“I know there’s nothing I can say to fix it, except that I hope you know that Jake and I have talked through everything, for the most part. He knows and I know that I made a huge mistake. I can’t go back and change anything, so I’m just going to take my mistake and grow from it. I’m really ready to grow up now, Josh. I have to. I have to be the person he needs, and the person that I need. I’m going to start working on myself, fixing my faults and moving toward better days.” You were quiet again. 

“I hope you know how much I love him.” You mumbled, wishing that Josh would say something. Anything. 

“I do. And I know how much he loves you. Even though I can’t believe the shit that went down, with Sam and everything, I know that you guys will figure it out. You have to.” 

You nodded. “Thanks, Josh. Remember you can stay mad at me for as long as you need. But I’m still going to keep being here for him. And for you guys.” 

“I know you are. You’re family, remember?” He muttered. 

You glanced at Josh, a tiny smile on his lips. 

“Yeah, family.” You smiled, holding your hand out to hold his. He grasped it back, squeezing it tightly, and placed a tiny kiss to your knuckles. 

“I have a question, though. Well, a condition, maybe. An option?” Josh said. 

“Ha ha, yes?” 

“Start coming to yoga with me. Take some classes. You said you wanted to work on yourself, what better place to start than right here?” He said, reaching his hand over and touching the spot right below your breastbone. 

“No, Josh, I can’t! I’ve never done yoga…” you went on, surprised at his proposition as you put the car in park in the lot. 

“So? That doesn’t matter. Yoga is an actual journey, and I’m telling you right now, it’ll help you get in touch with yourself quicker than any self-help podcast or whatever. Come with me. I’ll even go back to beginner classes with you.” He said. 

You considered it, biting your cheek into your mouth. “You really think it would help me?”

“I know it will help you. I promise. And, it feels good. Every single time you leave, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner. And you’ll get to hang out with me, and what’s better than that?” He joked. 

You giggled, punching him on the shoulder. “Okay, I guess I could try it out. Yeah, let’s do it.” 

“Perfect! It’s settled then!” He leaned over to kiss your cheek. “I’m still very disappointed in you, but I’m also excited. When we go back on the road, I have some great classes on YouTube I use.”

He climbed out of the car, letting the cool rush of air cut through the blowing heat from the vents. “See you later!”

Hmm, you, a yogi?

JAKE POV

Walking back into your home after the past few weeks felt eerie. The walls felt warm and welcoming, but the darkness is what got you. After lying in a hospital for days, all you really wanted was to be back in your home, with Y/N, a fire going, music playing, and life happening all around you. 

You walked yours and Y/N’s suitcases to your bedroom, switching on all the lights as you did so. You lifted the suitcases, placing them on the bed so you could unpack a little later. A cough rattled through your chest, sending tiny shooting pains into your lungs, but not nearly as bad as it hurt a few days ago. 

You could still feel the lethargy, the exhaustion, and the body aches hanging in your body, and you knew they were right. You needed rest. No way you could go back out on the road right now. 

You walked around the house, ready to pick up the little messes you’d left behind before you left. But there were none. In fact, the place was so clean you could eat off the floor. The floor…had the wood been shined? You walked to the bathroom. Spotless. Shower scrubbed, laundry done, bedsheets changed with folded extras in the closets…what the hell? It almost felt sterile…

You decided you’d talk to Y/N about that when she got home. In the meantime, your fingers were itching to play something, so you decided to go into the study and turn on the fireplace, drifting away playing that new tune you had written in the hospital until Y/N got back. 

You walked into the study, finding that your acoustic wasn’t in its normal place. Oh, you’d taken it upstairs to hide away forever in the closet. Back when things were bad. Back when the guitar held horrible memories. 

You ran up the stairs and pulled it from the closet, also in a different place than you’d left it. 

Fuck. 

You made your way back downstairs, completely winded, and sat down in your leather chair to check the tuning. It felt so perfect in your hands, your old faithful. Always there when you needed it. You glanced to the desk, as something out of place caught your eye. Small and red…

Wait. Your notebook. The one you’d given to Y/N for Christmas. Sitting right here on your desk. And…a flower laid perfectly on top? Dried and wilted and brown, with only one petal. 

——

You aren't sure how long you'd been sitting there staring at the notebook, it had to be at least an hour. Flipping through the pages reminiscing on all the memories it held. Finding it on the desk felt like someone had ripped your heart out of your chest. Why would she leave this? Did she not want it anymore?

You sat back in your chair twirling the flower stem in your hand. One last petal. One last she loves me. Or maybe she loves me not and that's why she left it? 

You hear the front door open slowly, and seconds later she’s stepping into the house. You continue to sit there, twirling the brown stem in your fingers, just waiting for her to find you.

“Jake, what are you doing babe, you need to get in bed.” she says, tossing her things on the table by the door.

She steps into the study, and as she gets closer she spots the notebook on your lap at the flower in your hand. Her face goes white as she makes the realization.

 “You don’t want it anymore?” you ask.

“No…Jake…” she says, fighting off tears.

“You left it…were you not… were you not going to come back?” you ask, your voice shaking.

“When I left here, we weren’t even speaking Jake, I– I didn’t think you wanted me back here. I thought we were done, over, all of it. I couldn’t take it. I could hardly look at it. Just reminded me how badly I betrayed you. What I did to us.” she admits.

“The flower. You left one petal…” you question.

“I just…wanted to tell you I loved you one last time.” she replies quietly.

You run your hand over your face. It’s time. You have to tell her.

You stand up from the chair, and reach your hand out to her, letting her clasp her hand with yours as you lead the two of you to your bedroom.

You lead her to the end of the bed, and she sits as you kick off your shoes and flannel. You join her on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath. “I need to talk to you. I need to tell you something. I’ve needed to tell you for a few days, but… I just couldn’t find the right time.” you say.

Her face drops, and you wonder what she's thinking. 

“You know that whole night… it’s kind of a blur to me. I really don’t remember much of it. I think I was just so mad initially about you and Sam, that I kind of blocked out everything else. My brain was only focusing on that hurt.” you start.

She nods her head as you continue, grabbing her hands in yours, “I don’t remember much of what happened in that hotel room with them. Part of me tried to just forget the whole thing ever happened, but a few days ago, Elle texted me.” 

Her eyes widened at her name, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. She, apologized for kind of pushing the limits, so to speak. At first I had no idea what she was talking about, so I told her that. And well, she told me what happened.” you say, pulling your phone from your pocket. You scroll to your messages with Elle and hand the phone to her, to let her read for herself.

You watch as she reads the messages, her brow furrowing and relaxing a few times over before she reaches the end. She looks over at you, a confused look on her face. 

“You don’t remember any of that?” she asks.

“No, well, I didn’t but, now I kind of do. Bits and pieces.” you confess. “I’m so sorry. I…I wouldn’t have been such a dick if I had known that… I don’t know… that I was probably going to do it too. How could I be mad at you if I was going to do the same thing? I– I don’t know what to say other than I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Jake… It’s not the same. I went behind your back. There was no conversation between us where you said it was okay for me to do that... I cheated on you. It’s different because I knew you two were probably going to hook up and I was okay with it. Do you not remember our conversation about it, either?” she asks.

“Not much…” you breathe.

“Jake, I told you right as you got that phone call from Josh. I told you it was okay. I told you I knew things with you and her were looking like they were heading that way. I gave you a free pass, I told you I trusted you both. I’m not mad baby, I gave you permission.” she says, rubbing her hand up your arm. “I thought you knew that…”

“Did I…tell you, you could…?” you ask, hoping she knows what you’re asking.

“No. We never finished the conversation. Your phone rang, and then you left. Part of me thought maybe, you kind of had? We never spoke the words, but we both sort of acted like we were going to…ya know. Switch, I guess. But I don’t know, the second it happened I knew what I was doing was so wrong. The biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I shouldn’t have stayed. I should have left with you. I know that now. But I had to learn the hard way.”

“Y/N…” you say, running your hand over her shoulder. 

“Why aren’t you mad baby? The guilt has been eating me alive for days…I feel like you should be mad at me.” you say.

“Because Jake, I knew that you two were probably going to. I came to terms with it the second the two of you started making out. It hurt a little, but I knew it was just a one time thing. I knew you loved me, and you were coming home to me. You promised me that. What did I have to worry about?” she pauses. “But… the weed, the alcohol… it got to me. I took things past where they should have gone. And I ruined it. I ruined everything we built.”

“You had every right to do what you did that night Jake. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but…I hope that maybe one day…” she trails off. 

You twist your fingers with hers as you bite your lips together. “One day.”

“That’s why I feel like we need space from each other. So that you can process and have time to figure out what you want. So maybe you can forgive me. It’s easy for us to fall back into our same pattern if I am here everyday, and around to tempt you. If I’m gone, maybe you’ll realize that this isn’t what you actually want, or maybe we will both realize it is. I don’t know, do you know what I’m trying to say?” she says. “None of this makes sense, it’s like there’s not a correct road to take.”

“Y/N…I completely understand. But, can I ask you a question?” you ask.

“Yeah…” she breathes.

“Do you love me?” you ask.

“Yes, I do.” she replies.

You nod, “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” you ask nervously.

“Every single second.” she replies.

“So why would you walk away from that?” you ask.

“I…I just want to give you space to figure out if that's what you want, Jake…”

“Baby, I have known that since the night you picked those glass shards out of my hands. There’s nothing left to figure out.” you reply.

“So please. Don’t go because you think it’s what I want, or what I need. What I need is you. Always you. I know I need time to forgive you, but that’s something I am willing to work on together. I want you to have your space though, so I am fine with you staying in the guest room, as long as you want. We can follow all your rules, and shit, I don’t even care if you add ten more. I’ll follow them. All of them. I just… I know what I want, and it’s you and it will always be you.” you finish.

She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you into her. You wrap your arms around her and pull her down to lay back onto the bed. You hold each other there for a few minutes, just feeling each other closely as your bodies melt into one. 

It’s quiet, just the sounds of your breathing filling the air in the dim room. Your room. The room you hoped to share with her again one day. You would. You just knew. 

Her phone alarm began to echo through the house, bouncing off of the walls and into your ears as she pulled away from you. You held her hand as she pulled away walking towards the door to grab her phone. The alarm stopped and you heard her make her way into the kitchen before returning back to the bedroom with a glass of water. 

She came back to the bed, standing between your parted legs, “How about you take a shower, and get in bed, while I find something for you to eat before you take these pills.”

“Is it time already?” you ask.

She grabs your hand and pulls you up from the bed, shooing you off to the shower, as she disappears through the door. 

You had to admit the shower felt good. As much as you hated postponing the first leg of tour, there was nothing quite like being home. You ran your towel through your hair and pulled on a pair of boxers before making your way back to the bed, and pulling back the duvet. Sliding into your own bed felt like heaven. You opened your side table to grab the TV remote and stopped when you saw her photo.

Fuck.

You had forgotten you took it out of your wallet. You pulled it out, tattered around the edges and looked at it. You looked into the drawer again, finding the pick, right where you left it. Thank god. How could you have ever been that mad?

You quickly got up, finding your jeans on the floor, and fishing out your wallet. You hastily put the items back where they belonged, and jumped back into bed before she came back. 

You grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, seeing it still paused on the documentary you started a few weeks ago, but at the end, not the beginning where you left it. Did she finish it?

Seconds later Y/N walked back into the room, carrying a plate.

“Best we had. We need to go to the store.” she laughed. 

“We can go. Do you want to go tomorrow?” you offered.

“I will go. You need to stay in bed and rest.” she says.

“But I want to go do something…I’ve been in bed for days…” you whine.

“Okay, maybe.” she concedes.

“Make sure you take those after you eat, okay? Almost done with them. Two more days I think.” she says, pointing to the pills on the nightstand. 

“I will.”

“Okay…I’ll see–” she says, slowly walking to the door. 

“Wait! Are we…not gonna see what Scully’s solution is?” you ask, hoping she would come back.

“Jake…” she groans, leaning into the door frame.

You nod towards the TV, bringing up the episode you stopped on. 

“Let me change, and then we can watch one episode. But I’m staying on the other side of the bed, then I am going to the guest room when it’s over.” she says.

“Yes Ma’am.” 

—

A few minutes later she is walking back into your room in a blue silky pajama set, your mouth positively watering as she releases her hair from her bun as she walks to the other side of the bed. 

She pulls back the duvet and slides into the bed, sighing as her head hits the pillow, “God, I forgot how comfy this bed is…”

“Mmhm….” you smirk, biting your lips together as you look at her. 

She turns to look at you, you still examining every inch of her body that she was willing to show you.

“What?” she scoffs.

You smile and shake your head, “Nothing. You’re just…gorgeous.”

“Jake…” she warns.

“I’m not breaking any rules.” you quip.

“Just hit play.” she says, turning back to the TV.

You finished your food and took the pills like she said, and within minutes you start to feel drowsy. You turn off the lamp that was lighting the room, and roll toward the center of the bed to keep watching. 

When the episode ends and she doesn't make a sound, you turn to look at her, only to realize she's been asleep the whole time. You just look at her for a minute, taking in the subtle part of her lips and the way her chest is rising in falling in her deeply content sleep. How could you possibly dream of waking her up?

You pull the duvet up over her shoulders and brush the hair from her face before quietly rolling out of the bed and bringing your dishes to the kitchen. As you place the items in the sink you spot her phone on the counter, and decide to bring it to the bedroom for her. You grab the phone charger she keeps in her purse and quietly plug in her phone and place it on the nightstand next to her head. 

You return back to the bed, and let out a sigh, ready to finally sleep in your own bed. As your eyes close you feel her body move closer to yours, cuddling into your side before going still once again. You wrap your arm around her, and gently kiss her forehead, closing your eyes and finally feeling like things might turn out okay after all. Just you and her, right where you should be.

—

Your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light of the room as you blink away the sleep. You let out a huge yawn, noting that your deep breath isn’t nearly as painful as it has been. You reach your arm to the other side of the bed to feel for her, but all you’re met with is cold sheets.

You sit up on your elbows looking around to see her phone gone and her side of the bed made. What the hell?

You roll over to your side to grab your phone but see a folded note sitting on top of it. You grab it and rub your eyes before opening it and reading it.

Jake,

Went to meet Logan for breakfast. 

Will be back soon and we can go to the store. 

Next dose of medicine is at 9:45, don’t forget.

xo

You fold the note and set it on your night stand, laying back into your pillow. Logan?

You roll out of bed and into the kitchen, seeing the coffee pot still on and half full, your favorite mug waiting by the machine. You smile to yourself, knowing she took extra time to do that for you. You pour some coffee into the mug and make your way back to the bedroom, rummaging around for a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, finding everything you’re looking for simply because she did all your laundry. While you were a total asshole to her. While you left her here alone. While she thought you hated her.

God, I fucked up.

You pull the clothes on and make your way to the front porch, settling yourself in the wooden rocking chair as you enjoy the sun on your skin. You scroll aimlessly on your phone for a while, wondering what time she left this morning, and how long you slept after. 

After draining your mug you returned back inside, deciding that if you were going to be banished to your house for a few weeks you would at least be productive. You made your way over to your record cabinet and pulled the entire stack. You made piles by letter and began organizing each one into the appropriate pile, by artist name. 

You must have lost track of time, because the next thing you knew your phone was ringing alerting you that it was time to take your pills. You pulled yourself up from the floor and made your way into the kitchen, grabbing the medicine and a glass of water and following the rules laid out for you. 

You returned back to your study and finished putting the last of the albums into the cabinet, very satisfied that you’d completed a project you’d been wanting to do for a long time. 

You drug yourself into the bedroom to start unpacking your suitcase, taking out the clean items and putting them away until it was time to pack again. As you reached the bottom the tiny white bag laid there just staring at you. Shit. You had almost forgotten about it. Where should you put it?

You grabbed the bag, sitting on the bed and dumping it out into your hand. You held the tiny piece of circular gold metal between your fingers letting the small diamond glint in the light. You imagined what it would look like on her finger, tying her to you forever. You wanted it. You wanted it more than anything. You wondered if you would ever get back to that point with her. You hoped and prayed you would, but for now you needed to hide this away. Somewhere she would never ever find it. 

You stood up and walked into the hallway, spotting your guitar case leaning against the wall. Perfect. You bent down and unlatched the locks, opening it up to see your guitar sitting perfectly nestled in the red velvet confines. You opened the tiny pick slot, and slid the white bag inside, shutting the small slot, and reclosing the case. Safe and sound. You knew the crew guarded this case with their lives. No one was getting their hands on it other than you. You walked the case upstairs to the music room, putting it there with the others, just waiting for their time to play.

You made your way back downstairs, positioning yourself on the couch for a while flipping through TV channels as your stomach rumbled. Shit, you hadn’t eaten yet today.

You drug yourself to the kitchen and began pilfering through the pantry, looking for anything you could eat before you went to the store today to restock. Finding a lone granola bar you scarfed it down, hoping she would be home soon so you could go. 

You took a quick shower and shaved for the first time in days, hoping Y/N wouldn’t be too sad to see it go. As you dressed yourself in fresh clothes, you heard your phone chime on the dresser. 

Danny

11:14am: *Attachment* (4)

Danny

11:14am: I know it’s probably nothing, but didn’t want you to randomly see these scrolling through socials. They’re eating her alive in the comments…

What?

You opened the attachments seeing screenshots from social media of photos of Y/N and Logan, from what had to be this morning. Comments about her being with someone else, or speculating on her cheating on you. People wondering who that guy is since she wasn’t with you… Photos showing them walking together with his arm over her shoulder, at what seemed to be a farmers market. Photos of them eating this morning. To be fair, it didn’t look good, but after everything last night, surely it wasn’t what it seemed. You had a nauseous feeling in your stomach, but you pushed it away, knowing that she loves you, and only you. She told you. Right?

You

11:18am: Thanks dude. 

You tossed your phone on the bed, pacing the room for a second as you tried to let the negative thoughts leave your head. In a split second decision you decided to call Josh, grabbing your phone again and hitting call. 

The line rang out until you were met with his voicemail, groaning and throwing it onto the bed once again. You carried yourself to your study, turning on the TV again and starting a documentary knowing she would be home any second. 

Your phone buzzed on the couch next to you, picking it up, you saw her name. 

Y/N

11:27am: Hey, Wanda from next door just called me. She was confused why we were home early since she was going to keep our mail for us until the end of April. Anyways we were talking and I told her you got sick and we came home so she wouldn’t need to get the mail anymore – all that to say she is making you ‘get well soon’ muffins. So check the porch in a little bit. Be home soon!

You

11:29am: Thanks baby

When another hour passed and your stomach continued to growl, you snatched your keys off the counter and drove to Publix, buying any and every item that looked even remotely appetizing. As you walked the aisles you dreamed about the sandwich you were going to make when you got home, piling it so high that it might be physically impossible to eat it. 

Your phone buzzed in your pocket as you perused the wine selection, needing to refill your stash with her favorites. You placed them into the cart as you pulled your phone out, seeing her name on the screen once again. You swiped your thumb across the notification, expecting to see that she was on her way home, but instead you were met with the opposite.

Y/N

1:10pm: Running longer than I thought. I’ll be back soon! ❤️

Right.

You shoved your phone back into your pocket and headed towards the checkout. You swiped your card and made your way back to your car, filling the trunk to the brim. As you pulled up to the house to see that she still wasn’t there, you felt your face grow warm. You spotted the muffins on the porch, smiling and telling yourself to walk over and say ‘thank you’ as soon as you could. You carried all the groceries and the muffins inside and put them away, finally able to make yourself that sandwich and of course have a muffin.

The day continued to tick by and Y/N still hadn’t come home. Part of you started to worry if she was okay. Around 2:45 you took your next dose of pills, retiring to your bedroom for a much needed nap. Even the simplest of tasks were exhausting you. You knew the guys made the right call postponing the shows. There’s no way you could have played a show in a few days. 

You scrolled on your phone for a while, eventually falling asleep as the TV played in the background. 

The chime of the security system woke you up, and you sat up instantly knowing she was probably home. You looked at your phone. 4:03pm. Damn.

You stood up from the bed and walked over to the bedroom door, leaning into the frame as you watched her kick off her shoes and coat, arms full of various paper and plastic bags and a bouquet of flowers. 

You crossed your arms and looked at her as she finally saw you standing there, dropping most of the bags and the flowers as she stared back at you.

“How was your breakfast date…” 

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@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner @eyelinerjake@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @violet-hayes@indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123 @reesetrippingthelight @lightmylove-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf@fulltimecynical@ageofbajabule@ageofsinners@indigostreakslut @katelynn-gvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @joshskittytickler21 @mp0801@starcatcherry @samsbirks @darianh07 @cassiesgreta @becinabubblegvf @hanntisocial @demonrat444 @mrbrownstne @gretabyss @bizzielisteningtogreta @samsbirks @jakes-archer @laneygvf @jaketsword @hangvf @indigostreakmorgan @sadiextricia @thunderstomp-and-tequila @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @lyndz2names @brujamagik @overtheehillsandfaraway @gretavanfan @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @slightly-russian

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[interpolanticssuperfan]

nothing natural | ken x fem!reader | part 3 | 18+ only

hii everyone! thank you SO much for the incredible kindness youve shown me and sweet words so far! and thank you all for reading. i accidentally made this chapter longer than i intended to.. oops. i hope i am doing a good job at slow burning because ive struggled with that in the past. warnings: reader goes outside to smoke a cigarette. lol. enjoy and as always feedback fuels me!!

also, i wanted to let you all know that you can listen to the playlist i have been listening to as i work on this fic which is sort of a mix of stuff that reminds me of ken and stuff i think he'd like. idk i love when authors share what they listen to, so you can check that out here.

you can also reply to my posts or message me if you want to be tagged for updates. i am posting a masterlist today for ease of access.

tags: @heyareyoulistening @itsametaphorbriansblog @alyeria

In the span of one hour, you absorbed more information and somehow became more confused the longer Ken spent investigating every inch of your apartment. You explained to him that you did not own this entire building, and that only one unit was allotted to you, but this still impressed Ken.

“Are you friends with all your neighbors?” He asked, squinting closely at the magnets on your fridge, touching them and flipping frantically through the notepad you used for grocery lists, like he needed to see more of your handwriting, more of the things you used every day. Ken murmured to himself as he took in the words: flour, one dozen eggs, croissants.

You’d reinstated yourself at your dining table with your work laptop, creating an elaborate lie for your supervisor as to why you missed the weekly team check in. My cousin’s dog was assaulted by a rabid possum and we had to take him to the emergency vet, please excuse my brief absence… I’m happy to work overtime to accommodate this inconvenience… He was only a puppy…

So on and so forth. You were confident you could schmooze your way out of a write up. Ken couldn’t stand still, couldn’t contain himself – had whizzed through the front door when you unlocked it, bouncing off the walls with questions and comments that flowed freely.

“No, I’m not friends with all my neighbors. There’s gotta be at least forty other people that live here. Are you?”

“I know all the Kens. We are not all friends. But I know all of them.”

“You’re all named Ken.”

“No. There’s Allans.”

“Right.”

Ken gleefully picked up each cookbook stacked on top of a low hanging shelf, tearing through each one and making tiny astonished faces at each new dish he was introduced to. Recipes on the sweeter side piqued his interest – cinnamon rolls, pastries, cookies. You had suspended disbelief long enough to just let Ken do this, let him touch everything even if he moved your belongings out of place. It wasn’t typical for you to have a man over, let alone one who was learning how the natural human world worked. (And had to ask you with stars in his eyes what ovens were for.)  

“These pancakes look divine. They’re putting all kinds of stuff in these. I didn’t know you could put blueberries in them. They taste good, right?” You craned your neck to get a look at the recipe he was referring to.

“If you’re a decent cook! You just have to pay attention to what you’re doing, measuring, how long things stay on the stove. It’s like that for anything you cook. I’m not great with pancakes, for some reason I always tend to burn them.”

“So what’s your favorite food?” Ken asks, setting the book down and taking to the fridge, flinging the doors wide open and surveying each salad dressing, bottle of water, every can of cold brew coffee. He ran his fingers along the labels, as if reading braille, receiving telepathic information about these products from just handling them. It was an odd sight. Everything he held looked so small in his hands.

“Er… I guess I really like sushi. But I haven’t had it in awhile. Trying to save money, make a habit of eating at home. And I just like to make simple things.”

“What’s in sushi?” Ken’s rotating a banana in his hands, picking at the stem to see what it does.

“A lot of things. Usually raw fish. Rice that sticks together to make a shape, seaweed, different kinds of sauces.” It’s making you laugh, seeing Ken size up this banana with a puzzled look on his face. “Do you want to try eating that?”

He shifts uncomfortably, placing the fruit back down on the counter like it had offended him. “We have these in Barbieland but they are not nearly as squishy. Ours are rock hard. And not brown!”

Ken was right – that banana was probably past its prime, but you hadn’t cleaned out the fridge in a few days. You’d gotten sick of refreshing your inbox waiting for a reply from your supervisor, so you got up and pulled a knife from the drawer, setting the squishy banana on a paper towel to cut it.

“Here. Try this,” you cut through the peel and divide up a small end slice into two pieces, holding one out to Ken who seems frightened by it, squares his shoulders.

“There’s something inside that peel?”

“Go ahead, just take a bite! You might like it, how else will you find out what you like?”

“But (Y/N), I’m not… hungry.”

“That’s okay. It’s a very small slice, I promise it’ll be alright, Ken.”

His eyes flash with trust at the promise you’ve just made him, so he abandons his apprehension and plops the bit into his mouth. It’s like watching a baby bird clamor for its mother’s offering of regurgitated seed and berry mix. Ken doesn’t instinctively chew, he just lets it sit in his mouth like he’s waiting for the fruit to do something. You raise up the other banana slice, catch his eye and show him how to chew, slowly, and then swallow. 

Ken nods, although his movements are strange and exaggerated, but eventually allows a smile. “That was pretty good. Mushy.” He searches your face to see if he’s given the correct answer, which is even funnier to you than him trying food for the first time.

“Did you like it? Bananas are on the sweet side.”

“Definitely. I think I really like them. Can I have the rest of it?”

“So you can taste!”

Ken grins to himself, gives you a proud stance and swaggers to the side, popping his hip out as he starts cutting up the rest of the fruit. 

“Oh, yeah. I can taste everything. Nothing I can’t taste.”

“When I go to the store next I can get you some more sweet foods. But you can’t just eat sweets. Fruit is naturally sweet, but for example, you can’t just have ice cream and brownies all the time. Your body will hate you for that.”

“And I can make you pancakes with bananas.” Ken adds, cocky as ever, already physically spreading himself out in your kitchen like he owns the place, thighs open and easy and confident as he leans back. He adjusts quickly to new situations, you’re discovering, with none of the social anxiety most people might feel.

“Let’s save the cooking and… turning on the stovetop… for when I can teach you. It can be dangerous if you’re not familiar with what to do.”

“But what if I want to surprise you, (Y/N)? You wouldn’t want to ruin it, would you?”

“I’d rather ruin the breakfast than have you accidentally catch my apartment building on fire.”

Ken considers this, starts chewing at the rest of the banana slices while still committed to looking cool as he does so. “You’re so right. So, where do you think I should sleep?”

You put some distance between the two of you, since proximity to the blonde had begun to make you feel inexplicably self conscious, and sit back down at your laptop. You hadn’t gotten this far, hadn’t decided where Ken could stay and if he was even going to stay. Stay for what? A crash course in becoming a member of society? Turn him into the perfect roommate who’s convinced you’re dating now? And how in the hell were you qualified to teach him anything about life, fulfillment, health or success when you were far from the epitome of any of those?

“I thought you said you didn’t get tired.”

“There’s something I need to tell you about,” the sudden change in Ken’s tone caught you off guard, so after taking a brief glance at your emails again and confirming nothing of substance had arrived, you folded your hands in your lap and turned your body towards him, anticipatory and patient.

“When Barbie went to the real world, almost everything about her changed. She still looked like herself, but… it was different. She told us that she got a cold.” Ken gestured to his nose, crinkling it up in dismay. “Sniffling. She had to use tissues.” 

“You’re worried about getting sick?”

“No, not… right now.” Ken tried again, attacking it from a different angle. “Barbie said the longer she was here, the more she kept changing. Barbies never got sick before. But she had to see a human doctor, and she started making her own food and eating it. Sandwiches. And her flat feet never went away.” Ken’s distress was evident, but you weren’t sure what he was getting at, couldn’t see what panicked him so much about this topic.

“I don’t understand. What are you saying, Ken?” You tried to keep yourself casual, so as not to freak him out even further; he’d already begun pacing, boots clacking against your kitchen tile with each step.

“I’m saying that the longer I stay here, the less I’m going to be like… how I was.” He sounded so unsure, on the precipice of a conclusion, fearful of what he might learn. “Don’t you get it? I’ll have to brush my hair. Call the dentist. Pay taxes. Wear deodorant. I might get a breakout on my chin, just like Barbie did.” The last part sounded like the nail in the coffin for Ken, who looked weak just recalling the memory.

“Taxes? But you don’t have a job, do you? For all the city knows, you don’t even exist.”

“That’s not the point, (Y/N)! I’ll have to get a job.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. So… it sounds like you’ll become less like a doll?”

“Exactly. And I’ll have to do it alone.” Ken was silent, pensive as you let his confession settle. Perhaps it wasn’t the changes that he dreaded.

It was doing it without any support.

“I see. So you’ll have to sleep. You’ll have to eat. Is that scaring you?” Your intention was to minimize these facts of daily human life, shrink them down to manageable tasks, not to trivialize his valid concerns.

Ken hollowed his cheek, bit the skin in between his teeth and looked around for something to focus on while he reflected on what you asked. Noticing the cage you had set up for your guinea pig, Ken crouched in front of it without so much as a knee crack, raising his eyebrows up inquisitively.

“Who’s this?”

“I should’ve introduced you to her earlier. She’s my guinea pig, her name’s Willa. See her long hair? It’s really beautiful, but she’s pretty high maintenance.” 

Sounds like someone else in this room.

Being so close to Willa appeared to calm Ken down, and you watched his shoulders drop slightly, saw the veins in his neck depress, growing less agitated. “Does she have to brush her hair?”

The cookbooks, grocery lists, the banana had inspired Ken to ask countless questions, but meeting Willa, Ken merely watched in quiet awe.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his purported  jab. “I help her with it every day. She’s got a special little brush.”

“Hers is longer than mine. At least she gets some assistance.”

Ken sighs deeply, not taking his eyes off tiny caramel colored Willa, who has no idea what’s happening, just lounges in the paper substrate fleece and wiggles her nose up at the blonde staring her down. He rubs meager circles on his knees as if to soothe himself, then sighs again, long and dramatic. From minute to minute, Ken’s moods shift so drastically – he could be lovingly describing his newfound obsession with bananas and then just as easily pivot to jealousy over a guinea pig receiving grooming services from its owner. Decoding him was like whiplash.

“Ken?”

“I’ve been putting off thinking about this part.”

“You mean losing your doll-ness?”

“Yeah.” Ken’s voice is small, terrified, unbefitting of how he presented himself. Put together, well dressed, toned, tanned, oozing with charm. It all dissipated with his answer. 

With your foot, you push out the dining table chair adjacent to you, the scrape spooking Ken as he jumps. “Why don’t you come sit here and talk with me? You can bring Willa, she likes making friends. Just be mindful of her.” Nervous, Ken obliges, sticks a hand into her enclosure and waits for Willa to crawl over to him. 

To your shock, she comes without a moment’s hesitation, nosing at his palm and blinking at him. Willa ardently disapproved of your last boyfriend, and she never seemed to like the odd hookup you’d bring over after your explosive breakup. She’d ignore any man in the apartment for the most part, but you couldn’t believe how easy it had been for her to warm up to Ken, snuggling up to him already. 

“Wow. She normally doesn’t like strangers.” 

“Looks like she prefers your friends. She’s so soft,” Ken notes, temporarily forgetting about the needling anxiety he’d been expressing to you, and sits down. At your table Ken seemed larger than life, so full of color and irresistible personality. The most interesting irregularity you had ever entertained. He flattened the backs of his hands on the placemat and smiled down shyly at Willa, gentle like he was convinced the tiniest movement could hurt her.

(A smile that had the power to devastate – could ruin your life, could make you want to throw it all away just to know him; a smile that Ken saved specifically for a defenseless creature that nibbed at his thumbnail.) 

“Go ahead and pet her! They like that,” you encouraged Ken, denying the lump in your throat, who obeys and brings a steady forefinger to Willa’s back, warily petting her in one stunted action. Willa rustles, but doesn’t flee or make any noises contesting his presence. “She might try to run away, so just make sure you keep an eye on her.”

“I promise I will, (Y/N). How old is she?”

“She’s two and a half.” You raise your eyes to Ken, who’s entranced by the small animal and her lustrous coat, indifferent to his surroundings now that he’s connected with this hairy comrade. “How old are you?”

“I have no idea. How old are you?” 

This shouldn’t have surprised you at this point. Nothing could catch you off guard now as you went down the list, dedicating yourself wholly to figuring out what to do with this guy. Given how unadjusted he is to the world, is Ken your responsibility now? What would happen to him if he went out, unprepared, unassimilated, and tried to do things like get a job, buy something from the store? Had he ever seen currency before? 

Would you have to teach Ken math? You failed calculus. More than once. This wasn’t boding well.

“I’m twenty five. You don’t have a birthday?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s how you keep track of your age. Could you look at me for a second? Maybe I can try and guess.” Ken’s reluctant to stop looking at Willa, but does as you say, and it strikes you to admire him overtly like this, free from the guise of contrived modesty, not hiding how strongly you want to see him. He’s open, almost tranquil, those wide eyes continuously following yours, every single aspect of his demeanor softening the more you drink him in.

You couldn’t help but freeze. Pinning him. You could hear the robins chirping outside on the patio. Buses shuttling along on the road outside. Your blood pumping in your fingers, the hot curl of desire in your stomach. At once, everything felt vibrant, felt… exceptional.

Because of him.

Blonde angel, almost porcelain. Kind with your pet. Enthralled with the simplest items you owned. Eager to assist you with any task, however minor. Naively trusting. 

Blind to the ways this world could twist and chew you up. Brand new.

You wouldn’t ever be the source of pain for Ken. In that moment, searching his stark blue eyes for an answer to a question you couldn’t articulate, you wrote it on your heart, that no matter what happened – whether Ken stayed in your life, as a friend or something more – you would never hurt him.

You don’t even remember what you were trying to do with him. Mesmerized, you simply just enjoyed the sight, at a loss for words. What was there to say that wouldn’t fizzle out and die on your lips?

How are you real? (He wasn’t.)

How did you get here? (He’d waited for you.)

Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?

“(Y/N)? Did you calculate it yet? Maybe it’ll be easier if I unbutton my jacket. Willa, stay put, I need to do something,” It flew over your head, you couldn’t hear what he said, just gawked and felt your pulse thrum as Ken started to undo the top of his denim jacket. Deft fingers working, you had to be aware of how affected you looked. You couldn’t hide it.

To see more of Ken’s chest physically pained you – it hurt to look, hurt to squirm and act like it wasn’t overwhelming, burning you up. He showed off his defined, carved muscle, smooth and enticing like a joke or something. 

Willa sniffed the salt and pepper shaker, not moving even a millimeter away from Ken as he undid the last button with a muffled pop. 

Where wisps of blonde hair would’ve led down to the tip of Ken’s waistband, there was nothing, just more of that milky white skin, blameless and pure and teasing. Where ribs should have anatomically been, his chest expanded then deflated, ripples of flesh rolling, then relaxing.

All of him on display. All of him so… bare.

Well – not all of him. Not yet.

You hadn’t felt anything like this before, not ever. You were experienced – you weren’t uneducated when it came to sex, or… pleasure. Yet it was impossible that you’d felt true desire in the past, even for the man you’d fallen in love with and been betrayed by, because those memories shriveled in comparison to what you felt in this moment, seeing Ken like this, expectant and unrestrained and so fiercely magnetizing. You saw your future, you saw his body, you saw Ken’s long eyelashes fluttering and pretty like a girl’s, and it was too fucking much, louder than your heart slamming inside your chest.

You began to question if you were even real. If this was happening. Maybe you were the lifeless doll. Harsh stings peppered out along the slope of your neckline – for the second time since meeting Ken, did that really just happen today? – and you made the horrible mistake of telling him the truth just as he was starting to visibly fidget, awaiting your reply.

“(Y/N)? Is this helping? If not, I can –”

“You’re so goddamned gorgeous. Fuck.” 

“What?” Ken blinked, taken aback. He looked like he wanted to say more, to press you, but he couldn’t form a response. 

“I’m. Jesus. I am so sorry, Ken. That wasn’t appropriate at all. I’m… supposed to be helping you. I’m sorry.” Dizzyingly, you shot to your feet, dug your heels against the floor just to feel grounded, and reached over the table for your purse. 

Weren’t you the one supposed to be in charge of boundaries? Teaching Ken how to act, how not to rush things when you met someone you wanted to get to know? 

Ken had flushed a deep shade of peach, an obvious blush that mottled his neck and spread out to his clavicles, nearly reaching his shoulder tips. 

“Did I do something wrong? Can you please tell me what it was?” Ken urged, pupils the size of saucers and still dancing to follow your every move. His face was frantic, lips parted revealing more of his perfect teeth, just another element of his perfect face, everything so perfect about him, and your headache threatened to return in full force.

“No – no, you didn’t, Ken. I promise. I just need to go outside and smoke, it’s not your fault, okay? Can you please stay here with Willa? I’ll only be a minute.”

Ken clearly didn’t know what you meant, or what smoking entailed, but he stayed fused to the chair, biting at his lip again in fragile confusion and not daring to abandon Willa. Fumbling for your lighter through the fabric, you caught the unmistakable downturn of rejection swimming across his features, and the notion that you might have inadvertently let him down made you sicker than the intense wave of lust that had just crashed over you, almost crumbling you, reducing you to nothing but a star cursed to orbit a bigger, more important planet. 

[aziraphales-library]

Hello!

I was wondering if you have any fics about jesus and the second coming so a continuation of season 2!

Ive been trying find a tag for it but I cant fine any unfortunately

Thank you!

Hi! Tags on ao3 I'd suggest are The Second Coming (Good Omens) and Jesus (Good Omens). We also have series three speculation fics here. Here are some more fics for you...

Fallen from the sky-The Second Coming by Bucky1984 (M)

After the abandonment of Aziraphale, Crowley struggles to reinvent himself and finds comfort in the daily lives of the inhabitants of Soho... Meanwhile, the new Supreme Archangel has been entrusted with the new phase of the Great Divine Plan! Determined to use his new influence to save humanity from the worst, Aziraphale is torn between trust and conscience. When Good and Evil become diluted, there is no longer black or white. Only grey remains...

Once for the Devil, Once for Christ by Eighty_Sixed (G)

During the Second Coming, Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves on opposite sides. Meanwhile, the newly returned Jesus Christ isn't quite what everyone expected.

Falling with Style by NooRose93 (E)

Aziraphale is having a difficult enough time averting the second coming without an amnesiac demon to look after, thank you very much. Crowley has always been the one to rescue Aziraphale, will Aziraphale be able to save Crowley's memories before the end of the world?

I am with you always, to the very end of the age. by garlicpasta (NR)

Then will appear in heaven the sign of the Son of Man, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other. Or maybe not. Aziraphale and Crowley get together after they last saw each other to save the world once more. But working together won’t be easy if they don't stop arguing every five seconds. Will Muriel and Jesus Christ be able to save their marriage, I mean, the world? Saving the world was never this fun! –Muriel I just want to get over with this already so I can see Hozier live. –Jesus I think everyone should just die. –Michael

Demiurge by PanderrynRose (E)

As the dust settles, Crowley drives. Away. Away from everything. He can't stay, not now. Not when warm memories have frozen into icy shards that shred his heart and lungs every time he sees something that reminds him of everything he's lost. But just as he can't stay, he also can't stay away from those who need or ask for his help. Earth--for all intents and purposes--is his home. And he can't leave the planet to the whims of the same bureaucracy and being that harmed him.

From Foxclere (with love?) by Bohemia (T)

There, in the small space between the dessert bowl and Crowley’s coffee saucer, was a partial map of the cosmos, rendered delicately in Châteauneuf-du-Pape. “How’s your mythology these days?” Crowley asked, head bent down, keeping the conservation cloistered without any need for a miracle. “As good as it always was, thank you,” Aziraphale replied primly. ---------- Wherein Crowley restores himself to the Court of Hell, Aziraphale just wants to Do The Right Thing, and they are still very firmly Not Talking. An imaginary Season 3, featuring terrible choices, heartbreak, ridiculous situations, Jane Austen, Greek Mythology, a hefty dose of plot, and perhaps a long overdue Conversation.

- Mod D

[daryldixonsdoormat]

idk if ur still writing Outsider fics but if you do, i would DIE, i mean die begging on my knees for HCs of ur favs (Two, Darry + Steve and soda if your willing) of the reader flashing them during an argument idk why its so funny but man i think its hilarious and the boys’ reaction would be so funny

OMFG YESSSSS, I LOVE THIS. I'm doing the 'adults'. Which would be Darry, Twobit, Sodapop, and Steve. also mini stroy for each and headcannons because ive been so absent.

Warnings: implied sexual themes, steamy situations (nothing crazy)

Darry ( the actual love of my life).

~ “You dont ever think” he cuts in with a tired sigh, attempting to not raise his voice. “Darry, you gotta be fucking kidding me, I think more than anybody in this house there is no way your saying that to me”. “I am and I mean it, you need to be more careful and stop worrying–” you interrupt him quickly stepping closer to him and sticking as finger up. “Darrel Curtis don’t you raise your voice at me like im one of your siblings”. Darry groans loudly throwing his hands up obviously not letting this silly argument go easily. “I just wish you would—” you lift your shirt up flashing Darry silencing him immediately. Darry walks over to you his calloused hands sitting on your waist, “Darling this conversation isn’t over even when you try and distract me” he looks at you smugly with his eyebrows raised. You reply with the same smugness bringing a hand to the back of his neck to pull him inevitability closer, “worth a shot though”.

~ definitely doesn't let arguments go easily , but he definitely loves that mini distraction and some stress relief (ifykyk).

Steve Randle (Goofy ass mf)

“Steve I don’t know why this is a big deal to you honey” you say in a calm and settle voice trying to calm him down. To your dismay he is still not happy about the situation at all, “No you can’t just throw stuff out like that, what if I still wanted it? Then what?”. You rub your hands down your face unamused by his ridiculous behavior, “Steve that shit has been sitting out for days now, I would’nt of let you eat it anyways”. Steve starts pacing back and forth in the kitchen thinking of something to say to “win”, then a new idea comes to mind which will end this banter once and for all. “Are you still mad Steve?”, he turns around abruptly “of course im still mad—”. Your shirt is lifted up giving Steve a good view for a few more seconds before you drop the fabric down, “how about now?”. Steves lips are parted still looking in the same direction where your breasts were once on full display, he glances up, “what you say baby?”. “Come here Steve”, Steve walks over his hands grabbing your face about to kiss your lips, “I’ll make you more ok?”. Steve pecks your lips a few times before replying, “Ok baby”.

~ he will probably purposely start arguments so you can flash him more often, obviously you'll catch on and ignore his attempts.

Dallas Winston (mama im in love with a criminal)

Dally pulled you into his room at Buck’s obviously pissed over a encounter downstairs. “Why the fuck didn’t you call me over, I could’ve easily handled that fucker” he says holding onto your wrist you guys nearly face to face. You pull back from him forcing him to release the grip he had on you, “He was just having  a conversation with me Dallas. Whats your problem?”. Dally runs his fingers through his hair while backing up instinctively, “ That motherfucker was practically undressing you with his eyes. Let me see him even glance at you again I swear y/n”. Dally turns around and slams his hands on his dresser with his head down. Your fed up, Dally is fed up why not end this right now, you walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. “What?” he says still not looking at you, quickly you throw off your shirt as well as your bra, “Dally can you look at me baby?”. Dally sighs but complies none-the-less, a smirk graces his face beautifully as his hands make contact with your chest. “Trying to cheer me up doll?” you kiss him deeply making Dally stumble back a little. “Im always yours Dally not some random guy”.

~ poor thing is always so jealous and protective over his girl.

Sodapop Curtis ( I want to be that towel)

You canceled plans on Soda, work asked you to stay late, the more hours the better especially because some of that money is going toward Sodas family. You walk into the empty Curtis house where only the shower is running, Sodas clothes are laid on the couch. You sigh and drop your bag down, taking off your shoes and getting into comfier clothes. The water stops running, you walk over to the door and knock on it softly, “Soda? Can I talk to you honey?”. The bathroom door opens showcasing Soda with just a towel wrapped around his waist, “Sure hopefully you wont cancel our conversation next”. He walks past you and into his room rifling through his drawers for socks and a pair of boxers, you tread behind him leaning on the door frame. “I took the extra hours so I could help you and your family” Soda groans because he knows he shouldnt be upset over it. “I know but I can still be disappointed, we havent been able to be alone for weeks now”. You smile lifting your shirt over your head about to ask him to turn around, “Come on Soda can you at least look at me?” you say walking up closer to him. Soda turns around sighing, his eyes widens and he stutters over his words a little at the surprise, “Baby, you look..gorgeous”. Soda hold you by the sides and smiles, “Wanna spend some alone time with me y/n?”.

~Sodapop definitely values quality time

[ryescapades]

comfort | haitani rindou

— in which you were feeling overwhelmed with everything that has been happening in your life.

character(s): bonten!haitani rindou (tokyo revengers) x fem!reader, a hint of ran x f/n

genre/warning: intended lower caps, swear words, mention of blood and killing, slight🤏 angst, some uses of pet names, ooc rindou probably, comfort, fluff

a/n: oh look another comfort fic 🤔 what a surprise haha ..😀🚶‍♀️ anyways HWHDHSH majority of the stuff in this fic is a self insert bcs ive been in a slump lately so yea enjoy :)

the city was bustling; the sounds of vehicles driving about and pedestrians chattering filled the ears of the two men walking side by side as they exited from the back door of a flower shop.

one of the them, the mullet-haired man sighed, swiftly tucking the gun back into the back of his pants as he wiped the last bit of crimson on the inside of his dress shirt, hidden by his suit jacket from prying eyes.

meanwhile, the taller of the two squinted his eyes at the brightness of the sun rays while he spoke on the phone, “yes, we’ve finished taking care of everything– shut the hell up, sanzu. i can still hear you from here,” the man rolled his eyes, a hand went up to rake through his short, out-of-style lilac hair. “alright. we’ll see you there, boss.” at that, he ended the call.

turning to his younger brother, ran was about to call out for rindou who was still busy making himself look like the two of them didn’t just kill a man (they did, but no one needs to know that anyway) when suddenly a smaller body bumped into the latter.

“oh shit, i’m sorry–“

“fuck, what the–“ rindou didn’t get to finish his curses when the person who ran into him, a girl, pointed her finger at him. “haitani!” she exclaimed.

holding in his chuckle, ran watched as rindou resisted the urge to twitch his eyebrow in annoyance when the brothers finally recognized the girl. “oh, aren’t you y/n’s little friend?” ran voiced out what was passing through both their minds,

this time, your friend, f/n was the one who resisted the urge to twitch an eyebrow in irritation at the older sibling. “yes, i am. it’s f/n if you already forgot. anyway, have you heard from y/n?” f/n looked to rindou, her voice switched to a more grave tone as she went straight to the point.

the mention of you got rindou straightening up. “no? why, did something happen?” he asked, his low-lidded eyes stared at the girl.

to outsiders, the man might look nonchalant and relaxed but ran noticed. ran noticed how his brother turned rigid, the pair of eyes that matched his sharpened and voice turned slightly lower with a hint of concern laced underneath it.

f/n grumbled, “that’s the thing! i’ve been trying to reach out to her for hours but she never responded. we are in our finals week after all and you know how she gets during times like this so i’m kinda worried if something happened to her.” she said, shoulders drooping.

rindou furrowed his eyebrows. of course he knew you’ve started revising for your exams; he even got your schedule remembered so it wasn’t such a surprise when you began to contact him less these days.

he even ignored the way your texts have been a little dry as of late, thinking you were just busy with your studies so you probably didn’t have time to reply to him that much like how you always do.

he’s also been occupied with bonten work that the two of you rarely spend time together in the past few days. truthfully, he felt like even he hasn’t heard from you for ages despite the few texts you two shared here and there.

rindou tried to pay no heed to the gnawing feeling inside his chest.

because if something did happen, surely you’d tell him.

..right?

“haitani? haitani~” f/n’s voice calling him went from one ear and out the other as he furrowed his eyebrows further.

“you do know there are two of us here, right?”

“huh? bro, obviously i wasn’t talking to you,”

ran laughed. “did you really just bro me?” he shook his head in slight mirth before turning to rindou, eyes turning serious as he inspected the younger man.

“try calling her, rin.” he suggested, knowing the conflicts going on in his brother’s head.

rindou brought out his phone, immediately going to his contacts to search for your name. he pressed the phone to his ear, waiting as he listened to the sounds of rings beside his ear while f/n bit at the edge of her nails in anticipation.

two rings. three rings. four. almost five, then it went to voicemail.

rindou’s grip on the device in his hand tightened.

you never missed his calls.

sure, you missed f/n’s calls and even his texts sometimes but no matter what it was; you were sleeping or even in the toilet, you never failed to answer him. not even once throughout your whole almost 2 years of relationship (it is indeed due to the fact that you’re in love with him but no, you’re not gonna tell him that obviously).

“i’m going to see her.” was the last thing he said before he turned on his heels towards the direction of your home.

“whoa, wait wha–“ ran was about to question his brother’s rush but he didn’t get the chance as rindou already sprinted off without so much as glancing back, leaving only with a “aniki, tell mikey and the others i’ll catch up with you guys later!”

a few seconds after he left, ran turned to f/n.

“the offer to take you out on a date still stands by the way–“

f/n groaned. “bye, ran.”

===

it’s spinning. everything around you was spinning.

you dropped the pen you were holding and ran a hand through your hair, a whine almost coming out of your mouth. “fuck, i hate this.” you cursed out, staring at the textbook on the coffee table where you got yourselves sat on the floor.

feeling like you can no longer comprehend the contents, you closed your eyes and leaned your head back on the couch. you felt your heart constricting.

no, you have to continue. you have to pass this or you won’t graduate. or you won’t get your degree and you won’t have anything else going on for you, why were you here anyway, you’d feel worthless and, and–

the sounds of heavy knocks at the door broke you out of your stupor, making you flinch. furrowing your eyebrows, you wondered who could be at your door in the middle of the day.

you exhaled and stood up, realizing tears were pricking at your eyes. “get yourself together, y/n.” you mumbled, shaking your head a little to try and remove all possible presence of unsightliness that were caused by the previous breakdown you just had.

walking up to the door, you called out a short, “hold on!” before gripping the knob to pull it open.

the person you saw at your doorstep was not what you expected.

“r-rin! what are you doing here?” you stumbled over your words, giving him a smile which looked almost like a grimace with how awkward it was. you moved your arm that wasn’t on the door handle behind your back to put it out of his sight.

to hide the fact that it was shaking. to hide the fact that you almost had a mental breakdown like the many times you had before for the past few days. that you have been crying days and nights worrying about your grades. that you had thoughts about wanting to end it all so many times. that you haven’t been properly taking care of yourself. that you can’t remember when was the last time you had your last meal. when was the last time you talked to someone– anyone, even?

rindou didn’t say anything at first, only standing there with an incomprehensible look on his face. his low-lidded lavender eyes stared at you, making you fidget slightly on your spot.

“did you need anythi–” you didn’t get to finish your sentence when the man took a step towards you, entering your household as his hand went to close the door behind him. you weren’t expecting him to suddenly move that you stumbled a few steps backward, the wall colliding softly with your back.

“rindou?” you asked, voice breathless and cheeks slightly flushed when you realized he was standing close, so close you could see the specks in his beautiful eyes, so close your lips almost touched his.

rindou’s hands reached up to cup your face in both of his hands, fingers touching the corner of your eye and his guess was right. it didn’t look like it but the skin there was swollen to the touch. you were crying. and he wasn’t there. he frowned at the thought, noticing the heavy eyebags, slightly messy hair, your meek voice, the way your body was a bit slumped earlier.

you looked fucking terrible. and yet the first thing that came into haitani rindou’s mind was the fact that you still looked pretty as the day he first laid his eyes on you.

the gentle hold rindou had on you made you lean further into his hands, seeking their warmth. you watched him with a slight confusion, still wondering why he came over to your house without notice. the silence had a weird feeling to it, but it wasn’t uncomfortable either so you took the chance to bask in it.

a minute passed between the two of you when suddenly rindou spoke, breaking the silence.

“you’ve been so strong, angel.”

you tensed. his deep yet soft voice hit you like water breaching through a dam, and that was all it took for you to finally break down. to finally let go of all the stress and intrusive thoughts running through your mind, tears pooling up in your eyes.

you cried. and cried. and cried.

rindou held you in his arms, a hand keeping your head on his sturdy chest as you gripped the front of his shirt tightly, not even caring about the specks of blood because right now all that mattered was that he was there for you, keeping you close as if to hide you from the cruelty of the world, of his world.

===

you resisted the urge to cringe away in embarrassment.

“m’sorry for ruining your shirt..” you mumbled, voice hoarse from all the crying as you stared at rindou’s tear-stained clothes.

at the time the two of you were laying on the couch with you sitting on his lap sideways. rindou shook his head. “never mind that. you should really take a break sometimes. hate the way you look thinner now.” he said, voice gruff.

“i know, but i still have so many stuff i don’t understand and my first paper is like, in two days–” he cut you off with a half joking grunt, “why study when you can just become my personal little secretary,”

you chuckled, heart warming up at the possibility of being close to him almost every second of the day. “i guess studying is the only thing i’m good at, rin. it’s the one thing i got going on for me.” you said, mindlessly playing with your boyfriend’s fingers.

he took hold of your fingers, not completely having your hand in his but that subtle hand holding was enough for the both of you. “that’s not true. you’re good at everything you do, though not perfect but still. you’re so good to me, baby. so good for me, you know that?”

you held in your snicker at how short his comforting words were, how they were so him but the breathy, deep murmur made you look up to him. your heart skipped a beat, almost tearing up again at the fond look rindou has on you. the way the tips of his ears flushed red made you fluster as well.

god, the things you were willing to do, the length you would go just to keep this man for yourself. to keep him as yours forever.

you hummed, head moving to nuzzle yourself back into his chest. “thank you for coming to check up on me, rin.”

i love you.

“anytime, angel.” he said, kissing your temple as his hand patted your head gently.

i know, and i love you too.

[marcothephoenixhusband]

Mating Season

Marco x F!Reader

🔞18+

This is long.

Warnings: Soft and hard sex, fingering, giving head willingly, pining for one another, Slice Of Life, Proposed too, Angst, Pregnant at Marine Ford but escaped with Ace and Pops, give birth on the Moby Dick, baby, and a BONUS after everything, also Fluff and Romance.

Your a natural born Phoenix from two other Phoenixs. Youve been flying around the world to find a suitable mate as Phoenixs have become near extinct. You fall in love with the first commander Marco who on a whim you decided to join the Whitebeard pirates. After a couple of years your captured by Teach/Blackbeard because of Ace. Ace wasnt captured then you find yourself imprisoned at Marine Ford as the Whitebeard pirates come to rescue you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcos POV

~

'Ah another patrol' you think to yourself as you look up at the sky its so peaceful then you see something in the sky high above you its shimmering.

"Well its over my patrol area I should check it out Yoi" you say as you fly higher and faster to cetch up with it.

~

(N) POV

~

'What a gorgeous day today' you think as you feel a presence flying behind you.

'Its too big to be a small bird' thinking. You choose to ignore it but it flies at your side now. Looking over you see a blue Phoenix shocked you try and communicate with it.

"Hello?" You say using telepathy.

"Hello there im Marco the Phoenix who may you be Yoi?" Marco asks.

"I am (N) the Phoenix. Where are you from Marco?"

"Are you busy? I can show you Yoi" he says. You sigh and say

"Okay Ill humor you Marco lead the way" you say as he flies down and you follow.

"Hang on its dangerous down there, humans live there" you squawk. Hovering in the air he turns around and says

"These are good humans please trust me no harm will come to you. Ill make sure to protect you Yoi" he says and you reluctantly agree. You follow him again swooping down to see a ship.

"Thats where you live?" You ask.

"Yup its called the Moby Dick my dad, we call him Pops is the Captain Yoi" Marco says sweetly.

"Ahhh" you just reply. You go down further flying dragging your talons into the water then fly up near Marco. You and him go to opposite sides of the ship to perch on the railing. Surprising a lot of people as it was dinner time. Everyone was looking at you then Marco then you.

"What are you humans looking at?" Using telepathy you think into everyones heads. Suddenly Marco transforms into a human and jumps on deck.

"No one here will hurt you I promise. Come have a chat with Pops Yoi" Marco says as you jump and land gently in the middle of the deck. You transform into human form. With fiery eyes that never extinguish while wisps of flames flow out of your body in human form your wearing white Skypeia crop top and a short skirt with (c) hair and your shorter than most men especially Marco who is six, eight leaving a whole head off. Alot of the crew start whistling and hollering at you and your skirt and crop top. Marco glances at you then back at Pops.

You and Marco stand before Pops.

"My son whats this another Phoenix? I thought Marco was the only one." Pops asks.

"I am (N) a real Phoenix! I was born being a Phoenix!" You yell.

"You know me and Marco visited Skypeia and I met two other Phoenixs before perhapse they were your parents?" Pops says quizzically to you. A single tear falls down your face as you notice Marco glance at you.

"They were my parents before Enel came... I am the last of my kind. Ive been searching everywhere for another Phoenix."

"Well do you have a place to call home child?" Looking down you admit

"No..."

"Why not join our crew then? Were all family here and youve found another Phoenix now" Pops offers and you think about it.

"Yea join our crew (n) Yoi" Marco says.

"Hmmm okay yes, I appreciate your offer. I can fight well as well"

"But I request to be near Marco since hes the one who said hell protect me. A fellow Phoenix is comforting." Your serious flaming eyes piercing through whatever they look through.

"Hahaha looks like your sharing your room Marco. And you can work under Marco to earn your keep, food and drink will be provided to you fair deal?" Pops says.

"Sounds good" you notice. You sense Marco tense up at the deal. The crew cheers loudly whistling and saying.

"Finally bird brains gonna get some!" Startling you but you feel a gentle touch on your shoulder. You can sense everyone very well as you have been training since birth.

"Go children eat drink" Pops says. As you follow Marco to his seat he made room for you as you notice two other black haired men sat at your table one has short shaggy hair with a tattoo that says ASCE with the S crossed off and the other one looks like a samurai.

"Let me introduce you to Ace (the one with the tattoo), and Izo (the samurai). Ace is the second division commander Izo is the sixteenth division commander. You know me but im the first division commander, Izo is last Yoi." Marco explains with a small chuckle then smiles.

"Its an honor to meet the great Phoenix of Wano" Izo says

"How do you know where I come from?" You question Izo.

"The true Phoenixs used to live in Wano. Phoenixs are the sacred bird of Wano and I came from Wano" he explains and you nod.

"My parents never told me why they left Wano." Looking over to Ace he says

"Hey there I hope we can be friends!"

"Im sure ill warm up to everyone as long as nothing bad happens." You say as Ace replys

"Dont worry (n) well protect you" you just chat, eat and drink until Marco excuses himself so you do the same.

"You start work tomorrow (n) Yoi" Marco says seeming tense. Some of the crew who were drunk were cheering Marco on saying

"Its finally happening" Once inside his room you see furniture which you havent seen in a long time. You start to undress but Marco stops you.

"Here wear this, god girl are you trying to give me a heart attack? Yoi" Marco says blushing hard.

"So its bad to undress in front of others? And ill have you know I am thirty years old in human time I am a woman!" You question.

"Yes, unless your mates, lovers, or married. Oh sorry woman Yoi" he chuckles, turning around closing his eyes thinking about what you said. You undress and wear his button up shirt.

"Im done." He turns around bkushing his shirt fits your cleavage perfectly while it stops at the middle of your thighs the rest fits like a dress. The arms however flapped around which you were flaping around giggling.

"Hey...Yoi"

"Yes?"

"Why are you so comfortable with me we just met.Yoi" he asks.

"I cant explain it that well but you remind me of home... I feel safe with you Marco ... I hold all humans to their words so I am comfortable for now. That and im stronger than you in battle I can just sense it. That and im almost unkillable" what you said made him looked insulted but also made him blush again and made you blush too.

"Well turn around so I can change Yoi" he says and you obey closeing your eyes. After a couple minutes.

"Im done Yoi" you open your eyes and turn around blushing cherry red.

'Hes only wearing boxers and shorts ah god those abs and chest those shoulders' you think. He notices and says

"What? See something you like? Yoi" he says.

"Iv.. ive uh .. never seen such a handsome man before." You admit and he blushes deep red now.

"I dont think anyones ever called me that, since im intimidating Yoi"

"Well just so you know you are a.. very handsome man" you say the last part quickly.

"Well thank you. Now just go to bed (n) how do you sleep? Yoi" he asks.

"Well I am always usually in Phoenix form but ill make an exception" you say as you jump on the bed near the wall in the corner. You pull the blankets up.

"Well I usually sleep in the middle. Ive never had a woman in my bed before Yoi" he trails off, seeing youve decided your fate. You could feel Marco enter the king sized bed and roll into the middle.

"Just do whats comfortable" you say facing the wall then turning around. Facing him you scoot a little closer to him. Eventually he falls asleep and your cuddling his side. Now warm you fall asleep.

~

In The Morning Marcos POV

~

Rays of light poke through waking you but you stop moving, noticing your position. She was laying her head on your chest hugging around your abs. You sigh.

'How do I get out of this Yoi? She is cute like thi- wait why am I thinking that? Im a higher rank than her. I cant be abusing my power Yoi' you think to yourself. Luckily or unluckily for you she started to wake.

~

(N) POV

~

You start to wake up. Feeling something warm under you, you open your groggy eyes to see Marco looking down at you. Arms behind his head. Waiting it seems. You notice your position finally and get up but he turns slightly trapping your hand making your head stay on his chest cheek to chest making you blush which he takes note of.

"Stronger my ass Yoi"

"You sure like to cuddle. You should have just told me Yoi" you hear him say while smiling making you blush cherry red. Your attempt at words was a bunch of sorrys and mumbles unable to speak clearly. He finally lets you go chuckles and you just say

"Im sorry I sleep weird... you were just so warm.." you admit which makes him blush.

"You could have just said that Yoi" he states. Marco gets up, puts his glasses on, and goes to the vanity with sink and mirror looking at you.

"Well time to get ready (n) Yoi" Marco says to you as he watches you get out of bed cetching a glimpse of your panties to which he immediately turned his head to the vanity sink and mirror blushing red while finishing brushing his teeth.

"All done?" You say as you twirl and twirl until your dizzy and fall down.

"What are you doing silly Yoi?" He chuckles loudly making you smile too. You hold a hand on the sofa and slowly get up slowly becoming un dizzy.

"Just waiting on you, so I can use the sink." You say. Once he was done

"I thought you didnt have anything with you Yoi?" He asks but as hes watching you make a circle in the air a portal opens (like Dr. Stranges portals but with fire) and you grab a tooth brush, tooth paste, and deodorant. Then the portal closes. Shocked he says

"Thats pretty cool and handy. Well now its your turn Yoi" he says

"You shouldnt assume things of others Marco at least give them a chance to hurt you first" he looks at you with an eyebrow raised.

"Im assuming youve been hurt before by others Yoi?" He asks as you finish up you put your toothbrush and paste you put on the sink and in his cup. You walk up to him and point in his chest.

"Yes I dont trust humans. But your another Phoenix so its different. ... you seem kind..so.dont let me down too" halfway through explaining you lightly blush as your touching him looking up at his eyes then away lightly blushing.

"I give humans one chance then its done normally" you explain.

"Well lets get to work now" you say wiping your tear away. Your in your Skypeia outfit again just cause you really like it. He leaves the subject alone and leads you out the door to the office him grabbing his doctors coat slipping it on.

"Your a doctor?!" You almost yell.

"Uh yes im the crews doctor and first division commander Yoi" he blankly states like it no big deal.

"Maybe thats why I trust you over the others too" you question yourself as he says

"Well im also, id say laid back Yoi" he grabs a stack of papers, brings them to your desk, then tells you what to do for them.

~A Year Later~

Over the year you HAD become friends with mainly everyone. Ace was your best friend and youd constantly talk about Marco to him about liking him alot but he didnt mind. He would give you advice to just ask him out allready but you couldnt. And when Ace talked to Marco he just said he didnt want to abuse his power but he admitted that he at least liked you alot.

After working, asking Marco all kinds of questions, which he happily answered every one with a smile, it was dinner time. You happily sat next to Marco warming up to him more. He seemed to notice your attitude.

"Looks like someone's cheery today Yoi" he says calmly. You just look up at him and smile a genuine smile making him smile as well.

"Id say today went pretty good, though I need to speed up more on paperwork." Marcos arms resting on the top of the booth.

"Youll get the hang of it dont worry Yoi" Marco says and pats your head as Ace and Izo walk over to their seats.

"So (n) how was working with ol bird brain over here?" You see Ace say you look at Marco who ignores the comment and you say.

"It was good as always thanks Ace."

"Dont worry I bet youll speed up in no time" Ace says with a smile making you smile slightly and sigh.

'That would be nice wouldnt it to be more helpful to Marco?' You think to yourself little do you notice that Marcos staring at you while your thinking.

~

A Full Year And A Month Later

Its Mating Season!

~

You let it slip to Ace that you love Marco then the suddenly the whole ship knows. Little did you know of his feelings towards you. Everyone knew how you both felt about eachother but no one dared say anything. That is until today. Even Pops knew.

You woke up feeling hot and bothered laying on Marcos chest hugging him again. This was the new normal and he eventually got use to it. You inhaled his scent which was driving you crazy inside woody musky but clean. You leaned up getting off of him seeing his face was red also. You panting and just knowing your wet down there. He eventually wakes up panting. Sitting up now both of you.

"Ugh it must be that time of the year my little bird Yoi" Marco says to you and you just nod panting harder than him since your more animalistic than him.

"Ugh time for work" you say really not wanting to go to work today. Once you dress in shorts a crop top no bra and mini boots your finally ready finishing your necessities. Marco led you out the door and locked it.

~In The Office After A Couple Hours~

Someone knocks.

"Yes Yoi?" Marco asks and Aces head pops in and stares at you both.

"Geez whats wrong with you two? Got fevers or passing it between you two or is it just matin-?" Ace says slightly chuckling then gets cut off.

"What do you want Ace? Yoi" the blue Phoenix snips.

"Okay dam I just came to get a painkiller, you sir need to get laid" Ace says then leaves the office with a thud. That makes you crack up laughing.

"Oh come on not you too my little bird Yoi" Marco says crossing his arms slightly frowning. Finishing your laughing you say

"Well its true you do need too, your all uptight than your normal chill self" you say expecting an answer.

"You of all people should know why (n). Its mating season dont tell people about it I normally just tell everyone its a annual fever Yoi" he says. Scratching the back of your head Marco says

"What did you do Yoi?"

"It kinda slipped out while drinking with Ace haha" you say as Marco takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose then puts his glasses back on.

"Ill be right back get back to work my little bird Yoi" he says as you nod knowing he was probably going to find Ace.

~

Marcos POV

~

Finally youve found Ace sitting on the back of the Moby Dick.

"What were you trying to pull back there? (N) told me she let it slip about Mating season while you both were drinking and you had to go telling the whole ship. Dont lie either. I know how it works around here Yoi" You say as Ace looks taken aback.

"Gosh your really pent up have you been sleeping well~ with (n) right by your side? Must be painful to have a forbidden fruit but never taste it" Ace counters.

'Hes partially right. I do get to sleep by her but that also was by her request but what if she likes Ace? Who am I to deny her? She couldnt possibly like me though some signs are there to suggest so, maybe shes just overly nice with me since im a Phoenix? Yoi' you think as Ace says.

"Your dam right Im in love with her, maybe I should just ask her out allready and have her sleep with me instead?" Ace threatens.

'He knows shes in major heat too. It would be so easy for him.'

"Dont you even think about it! (N) is mine! Im in love with her too. Yoi" you yell startling yourself at what you just said.

'Im in love with her I cant bare the thought of (n) with someone else her moaning someone elses name' you think to yourself.

"So bird brain finally admits it out loud. Look im a nice guy. Ill give you one chance then im going all in." Ace says as you stand to walk away but then something he says makes you look at Ace in shock before calming down. You throw him a small pill and he looks at you.

"Painkiller Yoi" was all you said as you both nod knowingly now.

~

(N) POV

~

Youve just finished the last paper when the door opens to reveal Marco.

"Big bird ive finally done all these papers" you say happily you both wearing slight red on your faces from mating season.

"Oh good job my little bird Yoi" he says clearly distracted by something so you stay quiet but get up to take a break.

"No breaks today little bird Yoi" he says to you calmly.

"Ookay" you just say as you go to pick up another pile of paperwork to do.

~At Dinner~

You sit in your normal spot next to Marco.

'Izos allready here. Where is Ace?' Your pulled from your thoughts by Pops.

"Tonight we will dock on an island for restocking so behave yourselves. Thats all kids" you turn your attention back to your table to see Ace poped up sometime.

"Hey Ace when did you get here?" You ask quizzically.

"I had to finish up some commander stuff but the parties here now haha" Ace says loudly as he starts drinking. You see Marco glance at Ace then start eating and drinking his ale quietly. Izo doing the same.

'Well I knew restocking was tonight, everyones probably tired from preparations' you think as dinner flies by. Then its time for the commanders to go restock after dinner. Marco cetches you on deck looking at everyone.

"(N) I need your help with restocking tonight Yoi" You hear and turn to Marco.

"Oh okay sure commander!" You chime as your walking off deck with him Ace runs up and asks

"Hey (N) you want to go for drinks?"

"Ace im-" you were cut off by Marco

"Shell be busy helping me with restocking Yoi"

"Well thats strangee because thats the commanders job" Ace insinuates something.

"So then that means the Second division commander isnt doing his job? Yoi" Marco pressed Ace then their almost glaring at eachother.

They both look to you.

"So what will it be (n)?" Ace asks as you think.

"Im sorry Ace can I get a rain check? He is my commander" You ask sweetly.

"Uh sure no worries sweetie (n)" Ace smiles softly then runs to cetch up to his buds. You feel Marcos glare on Aces back.

"What was that all about Marco?" You question.

"What do you mean little bird? I dont know what your talking about Yoi" Marco plays dumb and smiles wide. He holds your hand then goes into town for supplies which was unlike him normally he wouldnt be so bold turning heads from the crew, making them all wonder. Once found, you both load up and head back to the office. Once put away Marco turns to you

"How about we relax in the room for a bit? Theres still plenty of time to go out. Yoi" Marco asks.

"That sounds nice big bird" you say following him to your guys room. Once in you take off your boots and lay on the bed so he could sit down next to you.

"(N) theres something I have to tell you. Yoi" hearing him say that made your heart race as you sat up pretending everything is okay.

"Whats up Marco?" You ask patiently looking him in his blue flaming eyes as they meet your fiery ones.

'Why is he so nervous?' You think.

"(N) I... I...." he cups your cheek and leans in as you lean in too and gives you the softest most loving kiss ever. Foreheads touching after breaking for air nuzzling noses, both of you panting he says.

"(N) I love you I have for awhile now. Will you please be my Mate? Yoi" he softly says as its almost, almost completely quiet for once on the Moby Dick. In shock you swallow.

"Marco I love you too! I have for awhile, and id love to be yours and only yours. Your mate" you say connecting a kiss again this time he brings the passion for all the lost time making you both pant loudly tounges fighting for dominance to see who will be victorious. He breaks from your kiss and starts sucking hard and kissing your neck leaving hickeys every where as you moan loudly

"Marcoo!" Which turns him and you on, even more than you were allready. You can feel your pussy is soaked allready, throbbing for him as you pant

"Marcoo I need you!" Moaning loudly. He picks you up and puts your head on a pillow while he undresses and asks

"Just to be clear your okay with this? Yoi" he asks.

"Yes a thousand times yes my big bird" as you unbutton your shorts but hes allready undressed, now undressing you yanking your shorts, panties and shirt off throwing clothes on the ground. He suckes your neck in various spots.

"Marco everyones gonna see! Ahh yess!! big bird!" His hand sliding up and down your slick finding your button swirling around up and down it making you moan the most sexy moans you could muster.

"Thats the point (n) to show everyone who you belong too Yoi" Panting harder you moan

"Marcooo please!"

"Please what my little bird Yoi?" He asks teasing you you look him in his eyes his blue fiery eyes as he stares into your red fiery eyes. Squirming you moan

"Please Marco fuck me I need you so bad its painful! Im in heat!" You yell as he pins your arms down with one hand, his legs ontop of yours. His throbbing cock dripping precum onto your inner thighs. He leans down cock rubbing your pussy as he gets his cock wet he nibbles at your nipples then sucks hard on them around them making more hickeys.

"Yes Marco! Please fuck me I cant help it its too much stimulation!!" You yell as their were few souls on board at this time.

"Someone's impatient, fine my little bird you wish is my command Yoi" he positions his twitching cock at your entrance.

"Marco I forgot to tell you im a virgin" panting loud he doesnt look surprised with how your reacting.

"Ill be gentle my little bird. I figured as much Yoi" he says to you.

"Marcoo that was also my... first... kiss" you moan his name loudly for anyone on board to hear unfortunately their was a group who came back and heard your commotion.

"It was mine as well Yoi" Whistling and hollering they yelled

"Atta Marco!" Which he growled at. He released your pinned arms to prop himself up on his elbows. Redirecting his attention to you, you wrap your arms around his neck pulling up sucking on his neck hard making him moan your name loudly

"Ahh! (N)! Yoi" Marco moans.

"Your mine Marco!" As you loose the strength to keep yourself up you fall back down. He slowly slides his twitching cock into you as he pauses so often for you to adjust.

"Ahhh MARCO your so big!!! You yell as he asks

"Are you ready (n) Yoi?" And you just nod in complete heat.

"Take me im yours, first commander Marco!!" You yelled very loudly as he penetrates your virginity makeing you gasp in pain but before you knew it his lips were on yours as he rubs your button in circles helping the pain go away. Breaking for air he growls

"Now your mine! Yoi" He asks

"Is this better my love? Yoi"

"Yes im okay now thank you" you say as he replys

"I never want you to feel pain my little bird Yoi" he says sweetly. He uses his blue flames pressing on your abdomen to heal your virginity around his cock so it heals but doesnt grow back. You nuzzle his neck as he starts to slide in then back out just a little then in so you can adjust to his big size. Once he bottoms out on your back wall he starts sliding in and out slowly going faster with your moans.

"MARCOO YESS RIGHT THERE!!" You yell as he listens to your commands. Both of you panting hard almost hyperventilating as hes now pounding you, balls slapping against your ass. Keeping time fails you.

"OH First Commander YESS!!!" You yell.

"(N) god your so tight!! Yoi" he yells into your ear.

"Marco your gonna make me cum allready!!" You whine.

"Cum for me baby bird Yoi!

You obey and release

"First Commander im cuming!!" You scream as he continously pumps through your high making you dizzy but he continues you hanging on to him wrapping your legs around his torso, arms wrapped behind his neck. He grabs your thighs for a better pounding. And goes animalistic as you moan

"Yess!!! First commander Marco!!! You fuck me so good!! Dont stop! Cum in me!! Please mate with me!" You beg shouting.

"You want big bird to cum in you, beg more Yoi!!" Hes thrusting so hard you can barely breath but manage to say

"Please I need you!! I need your cum creaming in me!!" Which makes him go faster and harder making you see stars and black spots.

"Im gonna cum little bird!! Yoi"

"Cum all in me Marco! Fill me up!!" You yell not knowing how much time has really passed and how many others could hear you both.

"Ahh! First commander im gonna cum again!" He grunts

"Cum baby bird cum with me yoi!!" He keeps pounding you, sweat dripping off him onto you. Both of you huffing for air

"Ahhh!! Big bird im cuming!!! You yell as he yells

"Im cuming!!! Im creaming, take my hot cum little bird!! Yoi" he hes pumping hard making you see stars as you both cum. You could feel his cock release his hot cum as your walls constrict.

"OHH MARCOO!!!" You scream his name tearing up.

"(N)!!!! Yoi" he yelled as well, him thrusting through your and his highs, eventually slowing his pace to a stop. As you both are huffing hard he huffs

"It may hurt pulling out, here let me pick you up well go to the shower Yoi" he says as you clinge onto him, him holding your shaking thighs. Once in the shower he holds you up and slowly slips out with friction which takes a minute.

"Ahh!" You squeal as his girth is now missing. He sets you down but you hug onto his waist and abs for support wobbly legs.

"Did I really do that good of a job? yoi"

"Uh does it look like it? It was my first time" You reply as he hugs you offering his support under your arms.

"You were my first as well Yoi" After you can somewhat stand you both get cleaned up and dried off.

"Do we need to go out? I dont think I can walk straight" you ask giggling.

"We can do what ever you want my sweet little bird Yoi" he chuckles to you petting your wet (c) hair. As you both get cleaned up then he turns off the water he hugs you using his hybrid form to dry you both off.

"Can we just cuddle? We can go out after tonight right?" You ask.

"Yes we can and yes love Yoi" he says hugging you picking you up laying you on the bed. Then hopping in with you pulling the blanket over you both one of his arms under your head as he snakes his other arm around your waist and pulls you close as you wrap your left arm around his waist and abs, legs entangled. You could feel his cock near your pussy and felt euphoric with afterglow sex.

"I love you my big bird Marco~" you whisper.

"And I love you (N) my sweet little bird Yoi" He whispers back and gives you a forehead kiss. You give him butterfly kisses on his tattooed chest and neck which were covered in hickeys and slowly fall asleep.

~The Next Morning~

You both get dressed side by side looking in the mirror.

"Marcoo you gave me soo many hickeys I cant cover these up!" You squeal.

"They arnt meant to be covered dear. Show them off! Wear this instead of that. Yoi" It was a black low cut crop top and a different pair of black shorts.

"Thats a command from your commander" he says with a husky voice on your neck making you shiver and softly moan. Hes behind you now leaning down kissing and sucking on your hickeys making you moan

"Marcoo" your bottom was still bare. He touched your pussy sliding back and forth

"Ahh looks whose soaked my little bird do you need release? Yoi" he whispers slowly in your ear while slipping a digit in to you making you gasp and moan.

"Marco yes!" You lean on the glass of the shower from the outside proping yourself up with your hands while hes fingering you then he adds another digit pumping in and out for a good minute

"Marcoo yes Marco" you moan as you whine at him withdrawaling from your heat. You look up at him with pleading eyes as he puts the soaked fingers in his mouth and swallows your juices.

"Ill save the rest for later tonight Yoi" he gives you a devilish smile. Your now craving his cock so you pull down his pants and boxers to reveal his erection. He tries to back away

"What are you- ahh!! Yoi!" You wrap your arms around his legs as you put his member in your mouth and start pumping with your head.

You look up meeting his eyes as you go deeper and deeper until your deep throating him.

"God (N)!!Yoi!" You feel his cock twitch and his legs weaken hanging onto the sink. Then you slow to a stop and release him swllowing all the precum and saliva.

"Ill save the rest for later tonight~" you cutely say as you clean yourself up.

"Oh so you want to play dirty do you little bird? Yoi" You put on the outfit your Commander gave you after you cleaned up your pussy.

"You started it first, First Commander" you poke his abs as he adjusts his cock in his pants. He puts on his purple jacket and you put on your platform boots three inches high. As you and him clean up the room you finally finish and exit the room. He locks the door and you both go past crew members who were whistling and hollering at you both because of the hickeys were so visible on you both.

"Bets hes not pent up anymore." One says.

"He finally with (n) finally" another one says. He just ignores them smiling wide, intertwines his fingers with yours and walks off deck. Walking past the bar Marco says

"I want to take you on a date Yoi" you stopped and asked

"Whats a date?" You ask.

"Hmm its what mates, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, and married people go on. Like go to a restaurant take a walk, holds hands, kiss, be romantic-" he was cut off by

"Hey you guys. Woah thats alot of hickeys, good for you both! Haha Bet your not grumpy anymore Marco huh? Whatcha up too?" Ace wrapped his arms around yours and Marcos shoulders.

"Were going on a date!" You chimed and Ace glanced at you guys hands intertwined then to Marco then back up.

"What are you up to Ace? Yoi"

"Oh back on speaking terms now? Good and im just hangin with the buds drinkin anyways."

"Good for you guys, welp have fun. Dont wanna keep you" Ace says waving headed back to the bar. You wave back. As Marco starts walking again you follow him to a sushi bar and sits at the bar, and so do you.

"Isnt this place expensive?" You ask.

"Anything for my little bird besides isnt sushi your favorite food? Yoi" he questions and you nod.

"I knew it Yoi" he chuckles and smiles at you making you blush.

"Dont worry about it im First division commander remember? Yoi" he smiles at you. You both order. You got the sashimi tuna with a bowl of rice and lemons, he got a strange pineapple roll which you giggle at. Of course you both order the sake and drink it all too even if it doesnt effect you both. Once done he pays and you both leave headed to the koi pond.

"Oh look they have bread you can feed them!" You happily look at Marco who just smiles at you and walks up next to you while your feeding the koi.

"Here Marco try it!" You gleam up at him making him slightly blush. He takes the small bag and feeds the rest to the koi then puts the bag in the trashcan smiling. You both roam the island then he stops in the middle of the main plaza.

"Here wait right here so I can see you through the window. Ill be right back Yoi"

"Okay big bird ill wait here" you motion for him to lean down to which he does and you give him a kiss on his cheek. *click* He stands back up slightly blushing.

"Thank you my little bird Yoi" he says then waves to you. You look at a clothing store on the same side as the shop Marco went in. After about five minutes. Then you felt someone grab your arm. And another come from behind you to your side and one directly behind you.

"Look who strayed to far boys" one of them said.

"My mates coming back any second" you retort and turn your head to the one behind you.

"Oh yea and whose this whimp mate of yours?"

"Marco the Phoenix" you say plainly.

"Haha yea right! Well we wont believe such a lie"

"How about we beat him up and take you back home and cover you in more hickeys than that while were bangi-" The one behind you said but got cut off.

"Unless you want to die where you stand, then youll let go of her and leave right now" you heard a low husky voice say on your free side turning to look.

"Holy shit its really Marco the Phoenix run!" They yell as they let you go and ran away that blue flame in his eyes.

"I said id always protect you Yoi" you look up to him and smile wide.

"Marco!" You hug him and he hugs you back. *click*

"Uh thank you for that, shall we continue our date? Oh what did you have to get?" You ask.

"Yes lets continue and its nothing, they didnt have it. Yoi" he says frowning as you nod

"Okay I really want to go to that clothing store right there please?" You hold his hand.

"Sure lets go Yoi" he smiles at you, and you both walk over entering the store. You get heart eyes on this one outfit it was all black skirt with a velvet black choker with a sapphire dangling from it and the top was short sleeved but shear draping down partially your arms as it was a v cut too with black thigh high boots.

"Excuse me miss how much is this whole outfit?"

"Oh thats been there for awhile its a bit pricey its 50,000 Berries mainly because the genstone is real." She says smiling.

"Ill take it all!" Marco looks at you shocked you even have that much Berries, while you open your portal pulling out a gaint bag of coins.

"Heres another bag miss. Ill count it out for you" after about an hour.

"And that makes 50,000 Berries gosh miss you have good taste. Feel free to take it off the mannequin." She says and you nod. Opening your portal you start throwing the outfit in the portal.

"Thank you miss have a great rest of your day!" You say as she says the same then you and Marco leave the shop.

"Whew that took longer than expected sorry big bird" you look up to him as he says

"Its fine this is what people do on dates Yoi"

"Oh okay where next my love?" You question

"Oh come with me Yoi" he says as he holds your hand gently as always leading you to a secluded area with a pond with unlit candles and various colors of birds right before the sun sets. He motions for you to sit with him which you obey. He holds out his hand flaming the water and lighting the candles blue illuminating the birds flowers and you both.

"This is so romantic Marco!" You exclaim half hugging him.

"Ive always wanted to show someone important to me these beautiful moments in the world" suddenly as the sun sets he gets on one knee.

"I know its a bit early for this but I couldnt help myself I love you (N) Yoi" he pulls out a sapphire and gold ring and says.

"(N) The Phoenix will you do me the honor of marrying me youd make me the happiest man in the world Yoi" in shock you point at yourself and he nods.

"I would really love that Marco!" You kneel and hug him. Once you stopped hugging him he slipped the ring on your finger.

"Wow a perfect fit!" You happily say as he smiles from ear to ear and picks you up twirling you around then setting you down.

"I love you so much (n) Yoi" he says as your place your hands on his chest.

"I love you so much too Marco, soo much" you retort as its dark now.

"We really should get back to the ship they may have left without us" your face grows grim.

"Lets go regardless. I hope you had at least an okay time Yoi" he says softly. You look him with a bright smile and firey eyes

"It was perfect, just like you" you poke his nose and he chuckles. Walking back hand in hand intertwined you both chat, him making you laugh and giggle then you finally reach the beach and you both see the Moby Dick out at sea.

"Are you ready Yoi?"

"Yes big bird" you both transform into Phoenix forms and you both hear a *click* then Marco flew up and you did the same another *click* but you ignore it if Marco ignores it.

'Did he even realize it was a camera click I think I heard it earlier too.' You think. You both fly away as you look back you saw a news reporter then look in front of you, you circle around Marco then fly higher Marco following you above the sky line.

"Having fun? Yoi" he asks.

"Yes very much hey dance with me?"

"Dance in the sky? Sorry I dont know how. Yoi" he says a bit saddened.

"Like this follow me" you do some flashy moves with a dive swirl then come back up. He tries it too with you and does it successfully. He chuckles

"This is fun your right (n) haha Yoi" he laughs. Once youve both had your fun and stretched your wings you both flew over to the Moby Dick and landed in the middle transforming into human forms.

~Its Dinner Time~

You both take your seats.

"Ah (n) and Marco as I allready said be wary of photographers and the news. Their trying to get any intel on you and (n) also any new big bounty crewmates" Pops says. You raise your left hand with the ring up.

"Yes child?" Pops asks.

"Were compromised then we took off a news guy took some pictures of us sorry Pops"

"Marco is this true?" Pops asks.

"Yes I was a bit .... occupied Yoi" he admits giving a small blush. The crew whistles and hollers.

"I do see... Did they get a picture of your faces?" Pops asked.

"Im not sure my back was turned to him, he may have taken a picture of (n) though. How could I be so careless. Yoi" Marco puts a hand behind his head.

"Well we all make mistakes son im sure itll work out some how for now eat and drink well figure it out" Pops says.

~After Dinner~

Clothes on the floor, heavy panting, loudly moaning, balls slapping. You both couldn't help yourselves your both at peak heat.

"Ahh!! Marco!! Im gonna cum again!" You moan loudly. He moans in your ear

"Little bird you feel so good! Cum my baby bird cum all over my cock Yoi" hes holding you up against the shower wall pounding your cervix making you see stars.

"First commander im cumming!!" You yell arms around his neck water trickling down both your hot bodies.

"Again? Thats the third time baby! Can you cum one more time for me? Yoi" as he thrusts in and out letting you ride out your high.

"Ahhh!! Yes for you I can Marco!!!" Moaning almost screaming riding on your high.

"Your so good to me!! Marco!!"

"I try my best (n)!! Ahh!! Im gonna cum soon little bird! Yoi" he yells in your ear sucking hard on your neck, breasts and nape.

"Aghh im!!! Im gonna cum again Big bird!!" Yelling in his ear. Him thrusting harder, him grunting in your ear.

"Cum with me my baby bird!! Yoi" he grunts as he thrusts again and again making you see black spots and stars making you tear up at the ecstasy.

"Im gonna cum again Marco!!" You moan loudly.

"Ahh!! Me too cum with me (n)!! Yoi" A few more hard thrusts and you cry out

"Im cumming Marco!!!" He keeps thrusting moaning as he felt your walls constrict around his cock sending him over the edge.

"(N) my little bird ..*grunts*.. im cumming!! Im creaming in you my mate!!" He yells loudly. Thrusting through his and your highs you both moaning eachothers name.

"MarcoOO!!!!"

"(N)!! My baby bird!!! Yoi" he slowly comes to a stop you both huffing. After a minute he slowly pulls out of you seeing, both your cum flow down the drain. He gently sets you down hugging you close to support your legs which were twitching and shaking.

"Ahh (n)..my sweet little bird. I told you id save it for tonight Yoi" he chuckles cetching his breath.

"I love you Marco" you say both hands on his chest and abs.

"I love you my sweet (N) now lets get cleaned up. Yoi" you scrub and wash Marcos back and he does yours. Once clean you both dry off using both your wings cuddling heat encapsulating you both while kissing. Him giving you butterfly kisses on your hickeys. Once dry you both transformed out of hybrid form into human form. Crawling under the sheets cuddling up and slowly falling asleep.

~Months Later~

"Good morning my baby bird Yoi" you hear your mate say as he brushes your hair with his other hand then kisses your forehead. You laying your head in the crook of his neck laying on his other muscular arm. Facing eachother you give him butterfly kisses on his neck and chest.

"Ahh feels nice Yoi" you look up to him as he looks down to you. He leans down and you lean in, lips connecting tounges swirling around sucking swallowing then breaking for air.

"Come on sweetie lets get up Yoi" he says as you both get up, get ready, then head out on deck as it was both of your day off. You were wearing the outfit you had bought from the island Marco proposed to you on. Then he locks the door as you both go out on deck. You spy Ace who walked up beside you.

"Whatsup Ace?" You say as he shrugs looking forward not looking at you and your hickeys even though everyones gotten used to yours and Marcos love making over the months except Ace had been talking to you less and less. You all go up to Pops.

"Pops wheres Thatch??" Ace asks.

"Son ... he was killed by Teach and Teach jumped overboard stealing Thatchs devil fruit" Pops says as you feel an overwhelming urge to kill and you knew Marco could feel you. Transforming into your Phoenix form you hear

"What?! Ill kill that bastard!" Ace yells.

"Not if I kill him first!" You yelled as Ace jumps off on to his parasail blasting off and you flew off deck following Ace. Both Marco and Pops screaming

"(N), Ace come back!!!!"

~A Week Later Marcos POV~

(N)s absence has been worrying you non stop. Your in your room looking at the mirror when you kicked the wall making the trash bin knock over.

'This isnt like me. Ace is with her so shell be okay. Better clean up this mess. Yoi' you think to yourself as you bend done you spy something that shouldnt be there.

"A pregnancy test? Yoi" since your a doctor you were familiar with these things but (n) pregnant? Allready? Digging a little you find the box.

"(N)s pregnant?! Dammit now shes off with Ace! Why would she go when shes carrying my child? ... unless she didnt see the results? I could have came in while she was waiting.. she hid it so im assuming the latter. Regardless I need to find her soon. Yoi" you speak to yourself.

~(N) POV~

Ace left his parasail on the beach as you landed keeping in Phoenix form.

"You really think that info was right Ace?" You questioned.

"They said he should have just arrived here in this old bar town." Ace replys walking as you walk feet taller than him. You two searched the town Ace and you ontop of a buildings roof. Then you spy Teach.

"Ah look who showed up, mad about Thatch I see!" Teach yells to us.

"You are disgusting Im gonna kill you!" You yell through telepathy.

"Hahahaa Id like to see you try Aces misses." Teach says as he shows off his powers.

"Tch! She belongs to Marco!" Ace shouts as Teach attacks, grabs Ace and punches him sending him flying into the building your perched on.

"So you never told her? Well then I shall" Teach yells to Ace.

"No dont!!!" Ace screams.

"You see our little lover boy is in love-"

"Stop!!" Ace interjects but Teach continues.

"Lover boy is in love with you, thats why itll be so much sweeter to have the government kill him or even you the last born Phoenix!" Teach laughs as you hop onto the ground beside Ace.

"Ace tell the others what happened" you say as he replys

"Wa-what do you mean?"

"Brace yourself Ace!" You yell to only him as you do a J kick to his abdomen as he falls all the way to the beach by his parasail.

"Go now!!!" You use telepathy to only Ace. You glance at him, him blazing away on the water. You let out a battle squawk before attacking.

~

Marcos POV

~

"Whats the commotion outside? Better check it out. Yoi" standing from your desk with doctors coat on, you walk out of your lonely office. On deck you see Ace but no (n).

"Ace wheres (N)?! Yoi" you yell walking up close to him, not knowing what to think. Ace looks up to you, then back down his hat covering his tears but you see through him. The wind knocking his hat on his back. Now exposing his tears. You walk up to him and give him a good punch from the side knocking him onto the floor.

"Shes alive!" Ace yells. Which calms you a bit but a crowds developed around you two.

"Ace!!! Things are far from okay!! First you both take off weeks pass of nothing no word and now you tell me shes fine because shes just alive shes my fiance carrying my child!!!! Yoi" you scream at him as the crowd gasps, blue flames are coming out of you. Aces eyes grow wide and you did not like that.

"(N) was captured by Teach he said he would turn one of us into the world government at Marine Ford that he got two for one deal. She kicked me away and told me to tell you guys everything that went down. Im sorry I couldnt protect her Marco!" Ace yells while crying.

"Tears wont solve anything Ace Yoi" you say as Pops says

"Marco go cool off we will get her back" reluctantly you obey and transform into Phoenix from flying up high while hearing murmuring about you and (N) and Ace.

~

(N) POV

~

Your in your human form because they bound your ankles, wrists and neck with sea prism cuffs. Little do they know you just need your hands and feet free to go into Phoenix form. Sea prism does nothing to you since your not a devil fruit user though they assumed it would help.

"Get up its time." Two gaurds came to get you. A single pair of shoes for you. Slipping them on the gaurds say.

"Walk" which you obey up the millions of stairs. Once to the scaffolding and stage they hook you to the stage as you knelt down.

"No ones coming for you" Sengoku says. The broadcast was being shown all over the world you were pretty sure. You couldnt help but cry silently. Suddenly a ship floats out of the water with a pop. You know that ship anywhere!

"The Moby Dick" You whisper. As Sengoku becomes flustered as three more Ships arise from the depths.

"(N)!!! Im here!!!! Yoi!!" You knew that voice anywhere.

"Marco!!!!!" You yelled back.

"Well rescue you!!!!!! Yoi!!!" He says as Sengoku says into the snail mic for the snail projector

"Dont bother pretending what he is too you, our intel says hes your Mate, which is why we must execute you (n). The very last true born Phoenix must die. Phoenixs are much too dangerous to the public to be free. Youve destroyed entire islands before. Lets bring up your bounty. It says 2,300,000,000 Berries for a reason." Sengoku takes a break and swallows. Marco looks shocked but regains his composure.

"And who were your parents?" Sengoku asks you.

"Whitebeard is my father I dont have a mother!" You yell into the mic.

"Wrong our intel says you were born from two Phoenixs who were killed by Enel, but one Phoenix survived, now so shall you be killed!" He clicks the mic to talk with Pops. Tears streaming down your face you look up at Marco whose looking at you. You then see Whitebeards allies. Pop's used his Tremor-Tremor fruit causing a tsunami. Aokiji uses Ice Age to freeze the ships and keep the tsunami in place.

"Save (N)!" Pops yells as all the commanders jump onto the ice running into battle with the Marines. You started using your Flame Beam to try and destroy the scaffolding again and again wipping your head everywhere to destroy your enemies destroying cannons and parts of the scaffolding Then you stop feeling useless but notice the scaffolding moved.

"Just leave with your lives!!! I ran off without permission I dont deserved to be saved!!!" You screamed at Pops and Marco.

"Child I told you and Ace to go isnt that right Marco?" Pops says calmly.

"Thats right sorry to give you so much trouble (n)! Yoi" hearing Marco say that you cry sobbing at their gesture. Sengoku announces to the world that Ace must be killed as well for being Rogers son. You bet gasps were all over the world. As the battle continued pirates entering the plaza fighting, you saw Ace hang on to Marcos talons as they flew to the scaffold suddenly a Vice Admiral came up in front of you punching Marco down.

"Noo!! Marco!!" While Ace jumped up unlocking your wrists then the scaffolding came crashing down while you felt Ace unlock your feet.

'Where the hell did they get a key?!' You think. In the thick of the smoke you transform into full Phoenix form Ace in Fire Fist form.

"Go back to the ship now Ace!" You think to him as he obeys but while kicking ass. You fly around looking for Marco once found, you grab onto him he has a sea prism shackles on one of his legs, on deck next to Pops you rip the shackles off of Marco. Using your regeneration flames on Marco.

"Their after you too Ace stay out of it! Pops call a retreat!" You say in their minds.

"Retreat my sons!!!" Pops calls the word. You flew off as Marco held his chest which you noticed.

'Theres only one person who shots beams of light' you think to yourself.

~

Marcos POV

~

"Agh! Dam these wounds!

'I cant just blurt out your pregnant though, but its obvious she doesnt know. What if our baby di ... no I cant even fathom even thinking it. Yoi' You think to yourself regenerating faster now thanks to (n) flames. Ace was still on the ice with Akainu following him.

~

(N) POV

~

Flying above the island you feel Ace is in danger so you fly down blocking Akainu from punching Ace with your flaming wings becoming as hot as they can be like lava. Ace looks shocked as Akainu says.

"Once I start an execution I intend to see it through."

"Oh yea well lets make an exception!" You yell. Suddenly you jump kick Akainu sending him flying back to the scaffold. You look to Ace as Marco flew down to meet you both.

"What are you two doing (n) come onto the ship now thats a command!! Yoi" Marco yells.

"Im busy!!!" You yell back

"Your pregnant with my child dont strain yourself anymore!! Yoi!!" Marco yells at you. You just look at Marco.

"Really?"

"Yes really! Be way more careful! Yoi" Suddenly Marines are yelling at Sengoku. You see him pick up the snail com and say

"Shes pregnant kill her and Rogers son Ace D. Portgas!!!" Gasps from everywhere were heard and probably from all over the world as well.

"Dammit!! I shouldn't have said anything. Yoi!!"

"Come back to the ship!! Yoi!" Marco pleads.

"Grab Ace put him on the ship. Ill be careful!"

"You better be! Yoi" Marco yelled to you as he flew Ace on the ship. You flew up high.

Once everyone was on board Pops used his Tremor-Tremor fruit to break all the ice surrounding the ships the back three ships started to leave as the Moby Dick started to turn around. You battle cried, and used a lot of your flames to create a false sun covering the entire island. Youve had enough.

"Well this isnt good" Aokiji says. As your sun is flying down it impacts with the island but the Vice Admirals used their powers to block it in certain spots. Akainu uses his meteor fists in the sky as your sun tears apart the island everyone is shocked and only the strong withstand the sun you threw. You bet it took out all the visual snails too. Now you have another problem.

You hear commotion from the Moby Dick that theyll all be killed. Before the meteors fall onto the ships youd lived on for so long you yell

"Phoenix Guard!!" Using your hottest flames possible dripping with lava you create a circle on a angle in the air, so as the fists hit the circle of flames they slide off onto the island. After the ships are all sailing away and Akainu stopped using his attack you jet fly to the Moby Dick transform into human as Marco runs to you. Jumping onto the deck mid air you suddenly feel immense pain in your chest see a light beam and tumble falling onto the deck blood spilling out of you and from your mouth. You feel Marco pick you up.

"You guys did do it..." you say as Marco is shaking and says

"Shh dont speak. Yoi" Marco starts crying.

"Tell.. me... how.. bad is... it?" You ask. He just hugs you blood getting on his jacket and abs so you could see. You feel everyones eyes on you

"Its been... a while.. to feel... myself.. slip.... away.." you say as Marco hugs you as your body falls limp.

"(N)!!!!!!NO!!!!Yoi!!!!!!" Ace is crying as well as Marco and the crew. Your body grows cold quick then turned into ashes in Marcos arms. Suddenly once everyone was crying, your ashes heat up again then flames start appearing making everyone watch in awe. First they were blue flames then they got bigger and more red then the ashes suddenly burst into flames and you transformed into Phoenix form then transformed back into human form. Jolting up from Marcos hands, breathing like its your first breath of life. You cough up some left over blood. Inhaling deeply. Then falling back into Marco. Him crying over you as he holds you close.

"(N) your alive. Yoi" you hear Marco say.

"Dont.. want... to.... speak... hurts..." you say softly as he uses his regeneration flames on your whole body. Looking up at him tears fall on your face.

"Shhh.... im.... fine... just.... tired... so... tired..." you say quietly as you fall into unconsciousness.

~

Marcos POV

~

"....so... tired..." she says then she goes unconscious in your arms. You check her pulse before reacting this time. Pusle is strong and steady. As everyone is looking at her like a miracle just happened. You pick her up and go to the med room in the med office without a sound from anyone just stares. You got her a blanket and set up IVs in her to help her body recover everytime your flames went out you gave her new ones to help aid her recovery.

'She must have definitely over exerted herself' you think.

~

Two Days Later

~

Your working on paperwork barely have gotten any sleep. First you hear her heart monitor raise in bpms. So you stand and go around her bed holding her hand. She stirs at your touch.

"Mar..co..." she whispers its barely auditable but it makes you smile that shes alive and the whole in her chest closed up when she was reborn.

~

(N) POV

~

You flicker your eyes open, groggy and sleepy but warm. 'Whats this,.. my hand' you think as you boot up, the lights blinding you from above. You turn over feeling something snag on your inner elbow.

"Agh!" You cried out.

"Here let me undo your IVs yoi" you hear a familiar voice say as your vision is spotty and blurry. The husky voice took out your IVs and all cords attached to you.

"There my little bird, feel better Yoi?"

'Wait I know this voice,... its... my mate.... Marco' you think and blink away the spots to see

"Marco...?" you speak as he holds your cold hands warming them up.

"Yes my sweet (n)? Yoi" he says softly to you

"Hi.." you say putting up a hand to his cheek softly rubbing his stubble.

"I missed you" you sit up slowly him supporting your back.

"I missed you too Yoi" he replys.

"Do you remember what all happened love Yoi?" He asks you as you start to think

"I was going to be executed... then you guys came and saved me... I think I died for a minute..." you touch the spot where the light beam hit you which Marco took note of.

"Thats all I remember doc" you say shrugging your shoulders. Slowly swinging your feet to the floor. He grabs your hands.

"(N) listen... Yoi"

"Yes Marco? What is it?" You ask quietly. His fiery blue eyes met your fiery red ones waiting with anticipation.

"I saw the test result Yoi" he says calmly as your blush tomato red covering your mouth as you gasped softly.

"I thought I hid it, you were coming into the room so I put it in the trash"

"Well I found it. The result was positive, you have our child in you. Im guessing here but I hope its okay. I need to buy an ultra sound machine if I can after all this. Yoi" he states and finishes.

"And yes you did hide it, but I was angry and kicked the trashcan over and found it. Yoi" he explains. As it sinks in you point to yourself and he nods smiling wide. You stand up and jump up to hold his neck with your arms hugging him, wrapping your legs around him.

"Oh Marco were gonna be parents!" You shout. He chuckles/laughs loudly holding you with one hand.

"Yes and im gonna be a daddy Yoi!" he says hugging you tightly twirling you around. Then you slid off of him as he leaned down to kiss you deeply breaking for air he started a rant

"Youve had me worried for weeks! There had better not be a next time of you running off with Ace Yoi"

"Ouu yea that probably looks bad now that I think about it..." you trail off.

"You think? Imagine what I was thinking not knowing where you were or if you were alive or dead and having my child in you Yoi" he replys getting choked up with tears. You hug him close kisses his chest and abs.

"That wont ever happen again I promise Marco" you reassure him.

"Ill stick to your side like glue from now on okay?" You question him. He takes off his glasses to wipe his tears then put them back on, he nods then says.

"Ill hold you to your word (n) the Phoenix Yoi" hugging and kissing his sweet lips and neck.

~

Nine months Later

~

You weren't allowed off the Moby Dick for the entire nine months by Marcos command. He got Thatch to give you special foods and fruits so the baby will be extra healthy. Marco went and got supplies for you and the baby when the ship docked at different islands making sure to be careful not to transform into Phoenix form or hybrid form. As they never changed Marcos wanted poster picture which was his full Phoenix form. So he could still walk around freely but they upped your bounty to 3,000,000,000 and plastered your face on your wanted poster.

~

You wobble from your shared room after locking it. To the med office where your fiance was working so you could do some work as well. Opening the door you see your lover turn his head back to you.

"Hello my little bird how are you feeling this morning? Yoi" asking as he helps you to your chair.

"He's kicking again want to feel our baby handsome?" You ask Marco as he smiles wide. He gently placed his hands on either side of your swollen belly then leaned down to listen to your belly. *kick* *kick* *thumpa thumpa*

"I can hear him kicking, and his heart beat Yoi" he looks up to you then kisses all over your tummy tickling you making you laugh.

"Hey that tickles!" You laughed as Marco let go of your belly he leaned over to kiss your lips. Soft and sweet, he gave you a peck then went to his side of the table facing you.

~After A Couple Hours Of Working~

You both hear a pop/click then a whoosh of water. You both stop and look at each other.

"Umm I think my water just broke...Marco.."

"Well thank god your in the right place allready Yoi" he quickly got up and helped you up. Picking you up bridal style and setting you on the med bed. Hurrying to get the proper drugs and IV in your arm.

"Take these pills dear Yoi" he hands you the pills and gave you a cup of water. You gulp the pills down and chug the water then it started.

"Aghhh!!! It hurts Marco!!" You yelled loudly as he gets ready.

"Dont worry little bird these are contractions they will pass.

"----" you couldnt talk at all when the contractions started and you figured theyd only get worse. You could barely breath then it would stop and start again.

"Your contractions are lasting forty five seconds inbetween every ten minutes its just starting. Yoi" Marco says to you as you both hear the door open.

"Hey doc-"

"Were closed for now get out!! Yoi" Marco snaps

"Ohh shit okay bye" the crewmate runs out the door alerting the crew that your in labor. Your Phoenix goes and locks the door then runs back.

"Aghhhh!!!" Tears sting your eyes as you felt the need to push after hours and hours of Marco trying to comfort you.

"Your contractions are lasting thirty to seventy seconds, with breaks five to ten minutes. Now your in true labor dear your gonna have to push soon let me know when you feel the need to push Yoi" you hear Marco say calmly.

"Okay please keep talking and I feel the need to push!" You yell loudly as another contraction happens you arching your back.

"Then its time to push sweetie Yoi!" He says as you felt the need to push with the contractions. You push when you feel the need and eventually you feel the baby come out. You both hear crying feeling relief as Marcos and your baby is alive and well. Marco snipping the cord, and takes the baby for a while to clean it. You feel yourself slipping away from life again.

"(N)! Stay with me! Yoi" The heart monitor beeping slower and slower until it goes *beep*.

Opening your eyes you gasp for breath like its the first time. The heart beat monitor spikes to your breathing level. Breathing hard you look around and see Marco with your guys baby lullying it to sleep. Your fully healed from being reborn.

"Ahhh I feel so much better now...." once your breathing stabilizes your heart beat normalizes Marco looks at you and hands your guys baby onto your chest.

"That always scares me when your reborn Yoi" You coddle your baby.

"It is a him right?" You ask and your fiance just nods.

"Hello there our baby bird" you coo as he sleeps.

"What should we name him? Yoi" Marco asks you.

"Hmmm ......... I like Kai what do you think Kai The Phoenix?" You ask him as he crosses his arms raises a hand to his chin thinking.

"It has a nice ring to it dear. I love it Yoi" he says smiling wide to you making you smile wide too. He walks over to you both and strokes your hair.

"Hello our baby bird Kai Yoi" Marco coos as you smile raise your hand to cup Marcos face rubbing his cheek. He looks at you with tears in his eyes.

"Awe honey are you okay?" You ask him. He takes off his glasses and wipes his tears then puts his glasses back on. Looking at you he smiles wide

"Im .. just so happy your both alive and healthy. My heart stopped when I heard the heart monitor go silent. Yoi" Marco says hugging you below the baby.

"I need to give Kai his immunization shots then he can be introduced to the crew and Pops Yoi" Marco tells you as he cleans your bottom up picking up your dress then laying it on you again. Your dress is soaking wet. Sitting up you hand Kai over to Marco.

"Ill be back I really need a shower, can give Kai his shots sweetie?" Marco holds Kai then looks to you.

"Of course little bird go feel better. Ill take care of everything. I love you (n) Yoi" Marco says quietly to you as you slide off the med bed.

"I love you Marco" Knees kindave weak, but once stable you walk to the office door unlock it and go to your guys room lock the door. Crew members looking at you in awe. Then take a shower. After drying off with your wings you open your portal and change clothes into shorts and a crop top and mini boots.

'Its been so long since I could where these' you think to yourself. Once ready you go back to the office open the door then lock it.

"Marco big bird" you call out as you hear a *shhh*" as you round the corner you see Marco sitting on a chair holding Kai lulling him to sleep.

"Awee look at you two, your allready such a good daddy" you walk up to Marco and brush your hand through Marcos hair.

"So how long was everything?" You ask him. Him checking the clock he says

"About six or seven hours its dinner time now sweetheart" your Phoenix says.

"Six or seven hours?! No wonder im beat" you tryied to hush yourself.

"Well at least you dont need to heal that much now Yoi" Marco says to you. You noticed Marco had wrapped Kai in a baby blanket. Your lover stands handing you Kai as he goes and undresses his medical gloves apron etc. He goes to his desk and pulled out a paper and signed it except for one spot.

"Here dear let me see him, sign there Yoi" you hand over kai again and see Marco was writing up a birth certificate the mothers name is blank. You sign your full name then set the pen down. You go up to Marco and Kai and gently hug around Marcos waist you both gently swaying with Kai in the middle. Closing your eyes head leaning on Marcos chest you smell that brand new baby smell intoxicating you and Marco. Maternal instincts kicking in.

"Well be late for dinner (n) Yoi" Marco says rubbing your arm. You look up at Marco with puppy dog eyes and he allready can tell what you want. He hands you Kai gently as you smile wide. And he cleans up everything that was dirtied. Then after everything was cleaned, sanitized and put away. He unlocked the door and led you out of the office. Holding Kai with your left arm and holding Marcos hand with your right heading to the dining area everyone stares and cheers for you both as you both walk up to Pops.

"Son is the baby okay?" Pops asks concerned. With a extra wide smile Marco says

"Yea Pops guess what your a grandfather now. Hes name is Kai! Yoi" which makes Pops chuckle and smile. You offer Kai up to Pops as Pops takes Kai gently in his hand.

"Ahh my grandson Kai the Phoenix! Cheers everyone to my grandson Kai! And to Marco and (n)!" Then Pops lowers his hand for you to take Kai which you do and Marco guides you by your waist to your table. Sliding into the booth Marco first then you. He wraps his left arm around you as he eats and drinks. Once hes done he motions for you to hand him Kai. Which you do and start drinking and eating.

"Congratulations you guys!" Ace says as Izo says

"Congrats Phoenixs may you live a lovely life"

~

After Dinner

~

"Im so tired how about you big bird? You delivered our baby all those hours" you say as he seems sleepy.

"Yea I am tired lets go to bed little bird Yoi" he says as you both slide out of the booth and you both head toward your room hearing hollering and whistling. Once in and locking the door Marco sets Kai in his crib. Kai being a heavy sleeper is a god send. Once ready for bed you crawl into bed with Marco as you both turned into hybrid forms wrapping both your and his wings around eachother.

~

Bonus Five Years Later

~

Marco married you five years ago. Kai was growing up good, he learned many things Phoenixs and humans needed to know. You and Marco are very protective of Kai, and taught him how to read, write, and speak how to transform into different forms and many other things.

"Kai get over here!! Where is that boy? Yoi!" You hear Marco yell. As you pop behind Marco looking around you scooch out of the office. Turning into Phoenix form you fly up seeing Kai in the crows nest sleeping. You perch on the crows nest.

"Kaiii..... Kaiiii wake up baby" Kai stirs rubbing his eyes waking up.

"Momm I was sleeping" he jumps up.

"Listen to your father, hes calling you. Youlll get a candy." Kai in human form whines

"Awee that means a shot!"

"Its either that or no dinner." You state you knew he loved his food. Kais blonde hair flying in the wind. He mumbled.

"Okay..mom" he transforms into Phoenix form and flew down to the deck with you and transforms into human form him jumping on your back. You giggle as you walk back to the med office and Marco just smiles wide crossing his arms as he holds the door open for you both.

"Are you ready baby bird? Yoi" Marco asks Kai as he jumps off you and hops up on the med bed.

"Yea dad im ready" Kai says in a sad and scared tone.

"Its okay it only hurts for a second Yoi" Marco says as he prepares the needle.

"Ready 3...2...1... and done Yoi" Marco says softly as he puts the needle in the hazardous waste bin.

"See youve done so good our baby bird Yoi" Marco says as he gives Kai a lolipop.

"Yay!! Thanks Dad, Mom!" Kai yelled as he went to Pops, you and Marco watched from the door.

"Grandpa! I did it!" Kai boasts.

"Good job child" Pops says and pets his head. Then Kai transforms into Phoenix form and flies to the crows nest again. You and Marco close the door and sit across from eachother doing paperwork.

~

After Dinner

~

"Time for bed Kai" you say as he talks to his uncle Ace.

"Awee come on I wanna sleep with uncle tonight mom!" Kai whines.

"Is that okay with you Ace?" You ask him. He nods and says

"Yea no problem come on ya little squirt race yea!" Ace yells.

"No fair your bigger than me wait up!" Kai yells chasing Ace. Suddenly Marco wrapped an arm around your waist leading you to your guys room. Once ready for bed you both slip into bed transforming into hybrid form. Cuddling eachother Marco says

"Goodnight mama bird I love you Yoi"

"Goodnight daddy bird I love you" you whisper.

[eomayas]

Hiii love ur writings 💘💘

And now since your requests are open .... Can I request for a fluff / angst Loey scenario where reader has panic attack in the middle of night and calls her bf Loey who was busy in study but she doesn't wanna disturb him so she doesn't tell him what actually happened but Loey figures it out anyways and comes home to comfort her? 🥹🥹 I hope it's not too much to ask for

call me what you want, when you want, if you want • pcy [req]

pairing: chanyeol x f!reader, established relationship

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of panic attacks and anxiety

a/n: thank you for the request! i apologize for the lateness🤧 i hope i didn’t generalize too much or anything, ive only had a panic attack twice in my life and was trying to recall what it felt like and how i managed it. apologies if misinterpreted anything. thank you for your patience and support 💕

your eyes fly open and your hand clutches at your chest. you lie flat on the bed, blinking rapidly as a tightness in your chest spreads across the expanse of your sternum. it feels like there is a car resting on your chest, hindering your ability to breathe properly, thus making you panic even more.

you try and recall what your therapist said to do when you start recognizing all of the signs, but your brain is too scrambled to even focus on one single technique, so much so that you start to jumble all of them together and make yourself hyperventilate.

blood pounds in your ears and you push yourself up and lean your back against the headboard. you close your eyes momentarily, your throat feeling tight. this didn’t happen often, but lately you’ve started to feel that particular tightness in your chest more frequently before bed. you’ve been able to work through it, to convince yourself that you’re fine, to breathe, and that you’re fine. you should’ve known that could only work for so long, that one day it was going to take the reigns and do a number on you—you just weren’t planning on it being tonight.

he said you could call him whenever, no matter what. you always felt bad calling him while he was busy, especially when he was working. but he always told you you could call him, even if it was to just talk.

you fish around for your phone in the dark, your hands finding it on your nightstand. the bright screen makes you squint, though you find chanyeols number quickly and press call. you place the phone by your ear and listen to it ring and ring, more anxiety creeping over you the longer it trills.

just when you think it’s going to voicemail, chanyeols soft voice sounds through the receiver. “hello?”

“hi, yeol,” you say, chewing on your thumb nail. you hope your voice sounds normal, and not like you’ve been gasping for air and fighting back tears for nearly thirty minutes. “what’s up?”

his deep chuckle makes you slide down your pillows until you’re flat on your back, your grip on the phone tight. “nothing, really. what’s going on with you, baby?” chanyeol asks. you can hear papers rustling and soft music in the back.

you let out a breath and shrug though he can’t see you. “nothing. am i interrupting you?” you ask, rolling onto your side and bringing your knees up to your chest.

“i told you that you can call me whenever,” the answer is yes. you hum and the two of you get quiet, the only thing to be heard is the quiet music on his end and your breathing. you’ve managed to find some semblance of peace compared to how you felt only moments ago. the trick is to distract yourself from what’s really happening, and before you know it, you’ll feel normal again. “are you still there?” he asks, pulling you out of your own head.

“yes, im here,” you reply softly.

“are you having trouble sleeping?” he asks and you bite the inside of your cheek.

“no.”

“y/n,” chanyeol says, his voice accusatory. “it’s okay if you are.” he adds quickly after.

“i just want to hear you, that’s all,” chanyeol makes a sound on the other line as if to say ‘yeah, right’. he’s going to figure you out and you know it, but you don’t want him worrying about you. “i’m not having trouble sleeping.” you say, and you don’t know who you’re trying to convince more, him or yourself.

chanyeol let’s out a breath and looks at the space around him. he’s not near finished, but he knows you, and knows it’s something else. maybe you aren’t having trouble sleeping, but you rarely call him this late and when you do it’s because you need something. “i’m almost done here, i’ll come home soon, okay?” he says, but the moment you hang up he’s jumping in his car.

“okay,” you say, and you two say your goodbyes. you wonder if you’ll be able to fall asleep by the time that he gets here, but you’re too awake now, and too excited to see him.

when chanyeol makes it home, you’re still in bed, rolled over to face the window. he can tell you’re still awake by the way your shoulders move up and down too quickly for you to be knocked out. “baby,” he says, setting his stuff down and slipping off his shoes. chanyeol walks around to your side of the bed and turns on the bedside lamp to look at you. “it’s late.” he says, sitting next to you.

you only shrug and he peers down at you, his eyes squinting as if he’s trying to figure you out. “what?” you question, looking up at him. chanyeol gently places a hand on your cheek, his thumb absentmindedly stroking under your eye.

“were you crying?” he asks quietly, a small frown on his face. you shrug and his frown deepens. “did it happen again?” and by it, he means your panic attacks. he’s known about them as long as he’s known you, experienced them too and has tried to help guide you through.

you dont say yes or no, but your silence is enough of an answer for him. “was it just tonight? or did it happen yesterday?” chanyeol asks, concern evident in his voice.

there is no point in trying to hide or keep this from him, so you decide to be honest. “well, it happened tonight but i’ve been feeling it all week. i’ve just been stressed,” you admit and he sighs. it’s not a coincidence that they’re happening the week he’s busiest and isn’t by your side in bed. it’s not like you can’t sleep without him, but you’ve been stressed lately and when your thoughts start to spiral you can typically roll into him and distract yourself with his closeness, or focus on his heartbeat to distract yourself.

“you need to tell me these things, baby,” chanyeol pleads. he removes his hand from your face and opens up his arms for you to crawl into. he moves so his back is against the headboard and you’re sitting between his legs with your cheek pressed against his chest.

“i dont want you to worry about me,” you say.

“i’m always worrying about you,” he replies, and you snort a little.

“well i don’t want to know that you’re worrying about me. it’s fine—i’m fine.”

chanyeol pets your hair and doesn’t respond. you both know that you’re not fine and that this isn’t going to end well if you don’t do something about it. “i think you should go back to talk to Dr. Choi. at least tell her that you’ve been going through it again,” he suggests. Dr. Choi is your old therapist that you recently stopped seeing. you started feeling like therapy was a waste of time so you stopped going, but it seems like it was the opposite given that you were better managing your anxiety when you were seeing her regularly.

you let out a shaky breath and nod your head. “i’ll call in the morning,” you mutter and chanyeol kisses the top of your head. “thanks for coming home.” you whisper moments later, snuggling deeper into this body.

chanyeol kisses your head again and runs a hand up and down your arm comfortingly. “of course. please keep calling me, even if it really is just to talk. you know i don’t mind—even when i’m busy.” he says softly.

you nod and close your eyes, his embrace and warmth making you feel safe and calm enough to start to doze off.

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 31

Chapter 31

I woke up the next morning to the sound of my alarm on my phone. I let out a groan as I turned it off. I don’t think I had gotten much sleep at all. But now that I had a new day, that meant I could see my love soon.

I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face to help wake up before heading into the kitchen. I dug through the cabinets, happy to find some coffee. I brewed the coffee and poured myself a cup. Just the smell was already starting to perk me up a bit.

“Oooh, coffee, how I have missed you.” I spoke to my cup before taking a drink, feeling that first sip in my soul. “When we get back to the Sengoku, I’m going to have to talk to Sasuke and see if we can find a way to get the importing process of coffee started earlier.”

I drank my coffee, finishing off the entire pot before finishing getting ready. I didn’t have the choice but to get back into my kimono. I grabbed the purse Sasuke and his professor had prepared for me and pulled out the prepaid bank card. There was a number on the back to call and check the balance.

I called the number and went through the automated prompts. My eyes were practically bulging out of my head when I heard the number. That was WAY too much. There was NO WAY I was spending all of that. I made the plan to just buy a few basic pieces for myself and Shingen. Who knew how long we would be here? Depending on how things went, perhaps I would find a small office job like I once had before. That way I wouldn’t have to rely on this money.

“Alright, time to go shopping.” I told myself once I had finished getting ready. I headed out on the town, hitting a few clothing stores and just buying myself the basics. Simple pieces that could be used to make multiple outfits so long as you mixed and matched. Also with it being summer I did pick up a couple of sundresses. I went ahead and picked up a few things for Shingen as well. Though I didn’t know how long we would have in the modern day…I had to admit I was looking forward to when he got out of the hospital and getting to dress him up in various modern styles.

Once I had finished my shopping I returned to the apartment to put away the clothes and change. I decided to put on one of the sundresses. It was a simple and cute dress with spaghetti straps and came down to just above my knee. White flowers patterned the dress and the skirt was so flowy and breezy.

I couldn’t help but to smile as I thought about Shingen seeing me in modern clothes for the first time. Since we’d arrived he’d only seen the doctors and nurses, so he hadn’t really seen the full array of clothing that was worn now. 

I grabbed my phone and looked up the nearest breakfast places and what they had to offer. “Hmm…donuts should be a good first sweet treat breakfast for Shingen to try.” I muttered to myself.

I left the apartment and headed to the restaurant and ordered the donuts to go. By the time I had finished, it was finally visiting hours at the hospital once again. I couldn’t wait to see Shingen again. I hope he was able to sleep well last night. I thought as I walked the sidewalks to the hospital. I was so happy Sasuke and his professor had been able to set me up in an apartment so close. I’ll have to do something really nice for them.

Once at the hospital, I made my way to the floor Shingen was on and to his room. The door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open further to peak my head in. Shingen was sitting up in his bed looking a bit groggy as a nurse was checking his vitals and making sure his IV was all set.

Shingen’s sleepy eyes turned to me as I came in and a smile spread across his face, making my heart melt. “There’s my angel.” He said.

The nurse looked up. “Ah, you must be Mrs. Takahashi.” She greeted me.

Takahashi…oh right Shingen’s alias here! I thought to myself. I smiled. “Yes, I am the lucky woman.” I replied.

The nurse smiled. “You must be very special. Even in his sleep after I gave him some medicine he wouldn’t stop talking about you.” She said. “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit. You’ll be having more tests done today.”

The nurse then left and I was making my way over to Shingen’s bedside. “How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Better now that you’re here.” He answered, his arms reaching for me and pulling me into the bed with him before I even had a chance to sit down in the chair.

I giggled. “Careful or you’ll make me squish our breakfast treats.” I said, holding up the box of donuts, though I was happy to be in his arms.

“I thought you were my treat.” Shingen replied, kissing my forehead. “Especially when you’re looking so cute.”

I felt my cheeks heating up, but I couldn’t deny that I was happy right where I was…or how much I enjoyed Shingen’s flirting. “Well this is a bonus then, I guess.” 

“So, what is it?” Shingen asked.

I smiled as I flipped open the box. “They’re called donuts. A deep-fried sweet dough covered in other various and delectable sweets.”

Shingen’s eyes widened as he looked at the donuts…I honestly thought I might see some sparkles in those gray eyes. “They all look so good…”

I had picked up a variety of donuts so that Shingen would have some options to try. “You really can’t go wrong with any of these. However THIS is my personal favorite.” I said, reaching into the box and pulling out a chocolate eclair donut. “This icing on top is chocolate…my absolute favorite sweet and the inside has a delicious sweet filling.”

“I don’t want to take it if it’s your favorite.” Shingen replied.

“That is why I got two of every flavor in this box.” I informed him with a proud smile.

Shingen grinned. “My goddess is brilliant and beautiful.” 

I held the donut to his lips. “Come on now, try it. I know you’re gonna love it.”

Shingen parted his lips and then bit into the donut. His face…he was like a little kid who had just been introduced to sweets for the first time. “That is delicious.” He said after swallowing the bite before going in for another. He was then reaching into the box and grabbing out the other eclair donut for me and holding it to my lips.

I smiled before taking a bite. I must have had stars in my eyes too…it had been SOOO LONG since I’d had a donut. I forgot just how much I loved them. “Mmm…” I hummed as I closed my eyes, smiling in contentment.

“Should I be jealous of this donut?” Shingen asked, a teasing smile on his face.

My eyes popped open and instantly my cheeks reddened. “No…it’s just been so long since I’ve had a donut.”

Shingen smiled and hugged me closer. “It is a rather tasty treat.”

I smiled as I nestled into his embrace. “While we’re here I’ll have to bring you all kinds of sweet treats to try. We have waffles and pancakes…those are also breakfast foods. Then there’s ice cream, slushies, cookies, all kinds of cakes, and a HUGE array of candy.”

“And when we go back we don’t say a word to Yuki.” Shingen replied.

I giggled and nodded. “Agreed. We’d never hear the end of it.”

We continued to enjoy the donuts together. “How did you sleep last night, my love?” Shingen asked me as we continued to cuddle up even after finishing the donuts. 

“Okay…once I got to sleep.” I replied. “I missed you.” There was no point in trying to lie or hide it.

Shingen couldn’t hide his smile. “I’m glad to know the feeling is mutual.”

“I set my alarm early so I could get up in time to get here as soon as visiting hours started.” I confessed.

“You’re so cute.” Shingen told me.

I felt my cheeks redden. “I just wanted to see you as soon as possible.”

“That makes me happy to hear.” He said. “I’m also happy to see this…new kimono you are wearing.” His fingers were trailing over my bare arms and exposed legs.

I felt myself warming under his touch. “It’s called a sundress.” I replied. “And I had hoped you would like it.”

“Very much.” Shingen replied. “Is this…normal attire for this time?”

I nodded. “Very much so. Especially for the hot summers.”

“I like it.” Shingen replied, his hands still roaming over me.

“You know, being like this is going to be when the doctor or a nurse walks in.” I told him. “We should behave ourselves.”

“I am behaving.” Shingen replied. “If I weren’t my hands would have already wandered under this… dress.”

I laughed and shook my head. I reached for his hands, bidding them to stay still. “You are here to get better.” I reminded him. “I don’t want them kicking you out before they cure you.”

Shingen chuckled. “Alright, I’ll behave myself.” He said, settling his hands in more appropriate places. “But once I am cured and out of here, I don’t have to, right?”

“You’re shameless…but it’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“That wasn’t a no.”

I giggled again. “As long as the doctor releases you and says you have made a complete recovery, then no, you won’t have to.”

“Well, now I have even more motivation to listen to what the doctor says.”

It was then as if on cue, there was a knock on the door and the doctor was coming in. “Good morning, Mr. Takahashi….Mrs. Takahashi, I see you arrived as soon as visiting hours started.”

I felt my cheeks flushing. “Yes…”

The doctor gave us a smile. “It’s good to see Mr. Takahashi has such a loving and supportive wife. Patients always do better when they have a strong support.” He said.

“My angel is truly my greatest blessing.” Shingen said, causing me to turn redder.

“Well, today we will be running some more tests on you. I want to get a chest X-ray, a CT scan, and an MRI.” The doctor said. He then rattled off a few more tests that he would be conducting as well. “Mrs. Takahashi, if there are any errands you need to run, you might want to do that while we are conducting these tests.”

“I…I can’t just wait here?” I asked.

“You can, but it is going to be an all day thing.” The doctor said. “We have your contact information should we need to get a hold of you. Though we should be finished by dinner time.”

“I’ll be alright, Ava.” Shingen assured me. 

“I’ll be sending someone in to start the tests in about fifteen minutes.” The doctor said.

Shingen and I nodded as the doctor walked out the door. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I asked.

Shingen smiled. “Isn’t this the best place for me to be?” He asked.

“Okay, that’s fair.” I replied.

“Is there something you need to do?” Shingen asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. My Oba-san…I need to see her.”

“Then you should go.” Shingen told me. “I will be fine here.”

I nodded. “Alright, but I am staying here till they come get you for the tests.”

Shingen chuckled as he hugged me tighter. “I can accept that.” He said, pecking me lightly on the lips. “You were close with your grandmother?”

I nodded. “For a time after my father left, my mother and I lived with her.” I explained. “She can be a bit…eccentric, but she is a lovely woman.”

“What makes you say eccentric?” He asked.

I pursed my lips in thought. “It can be a bit hard to explain. But…for example when my mom disappeared, she said she knew she was okay and that she’d found some place she was happy.”

“How did she know this?” Shingen asked.

I shrugged. “Not sure. She claimed she could just feel it that my mom was fine.”

“And you didn’t agree?” Shingen asked.

“No.” I answered. “But I’ve come to realize that maybe it was just her way of coping with the loss of her daughter, especially in such an odd way.”

“I can understand that.” Shingen replied.

It was a few minutes later, a couple of orderlies were coming into take Shingen for his tests. We shared another hug and kiss before I was climbing out of the bed and they were wheeling him out the door. Hopefully soon we would find out what was going on with Shingen…and hopefully I would be able to have a good talk with my grandmother.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16 @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260 @selenacosmic

[theshiftingwitch]

hello!! this is my third or fourth time asking you questions here and your advice has been greatly helping me and i appreciate that, could i be 🫐 anon from now on? thank you! once again, i am in need of some advice.

for the past few days, i have been robotically affirming a lot during my days with the same one affirmation “i have all of my desires in my script”, i made a list of all of my desires that i am manifesting right now, and i also made a board on pinterest divided into sections on my new life as a way of scripting and a vision board, and now i feel like some things are going in the opposite way, and i know that this happens to some people, but it’s still stumping me a little.

one of the things im manifesting is wealth for me and my family, i added those things to my script yesterday and today i tried to buy something cheap and my card declined, i got over £200 on my birthday in july and have been buying things freely since then, and the day after i added wealth to my script my card declines.

i am also manifesting a close bond with my father, the last time i saw my dad i was 12, i am now 16, and the only time we interact over text message is during birthdays or christmas, and whenever he asks to meet up, i don’t reply out of anxiety of seeing him. in my script i go into detail about how we are very close and i still see him regularly, and i am also revising the fact that i didn’t see or talk to him for years, and two days ago i randomly had a thought of him and my step-mum having a baby together, and this morning while i was sleeping he text me for the first time in months to tell me that they were having a baby, so i think i accidentally manifested that, but i also am scared that he’s going to forget about me and focus on his new baby, when im trying to manifest a good relationship between us.

i am also manifesting for my brother to start behaving better and my mum to become a good parent, they are still the same, a few minutes ago my brother was misbehaving as usual, but at least my mum said he needs to start behaving, but that’s nothing… i know i should keep persisting, but it’s doubting and gets harder to keep my faith in the 4D during these circumstances and situations, but i am trying.

i also have some concerns over the speed of my manifestations. i know that with the law of assumption, whatever you assume is true, and that includes how quickly you manifest, but i don’t even know myself how long im assuming it will take. i see people say “time isn’t real” but i also don’t get that. i know that it’s meant to be motivating and relieving, but all i am experiencing is that time is in fact very much real. ive been having issues with school for years, and haven’t been in for a single school day for 3 years, and didn’t been do my GCSE’s, i was meant to be going to a specific type of college at the beginning of this month, but i don’t even know what’s happening with that at this point, but they could call at any time and tell me i have to be there, and im manifesting against that. in my new reality, i am also revising that i never missed out on school, i just went to a new school and instead of going straight to college, i want to do sixth form. the problem with this is that while im currently manifesting my new reality as quick as possible, it’s worrying that i will be pushed into these unwanted circumstances like college before i have manifested my new reality where i was always in school, and am happily in sixth form instead. i can’t understand that “time isn’t real”, because it is. there are so many time limits and i have to manifest these things before certain times (like college) that come catching up to me.

i need help, im scared. how isn’t time real? and how do i speed up my manifestations, really, im trying to shift to a whole new reality.

thank you!!!!!! — 🫐

Hello 🫐 !

First, I'm so happy that my posts are helpful, thank you for coming back with more questions! I'm always happy to dissect the law with you!

Now let's get to your "problems":

Reading through your question, I have noticed that you're worrying about a whole lot of things that are not yours to worry about. You told me that you started scripting recently, and you chose one umbrella affirmation along with vision boards to manifest your desires, which I have to say is a wonderful method so good job on that and I want you to stick with it because it will work.

Now your first issue is that your 3D reality is not reflecting your script and your vision board back to you just yet. Here's the thing though, you have only started this method according to you a few days ago, but you have been living in this 3D reality for 16 years. Through those years you have lived through trauma, limiting beliefs, and unfavorable circumstances that have shaped the way your subconscious mind works and reacts to the world around you. So as of right now, the 3D reality is still reflecting back to you what you have assumed to be true your entire life up until this point, including your relationship with your father, your brother's behavior, your mother's personality, and your struggles with school. These things have all been happening for a great chunk of time, that doesn't mean that they will continue to happen forever. The more you keep affirming, the sooner it will happen because like I said in a previous post: robotic affirmation creates new neural pathways in your brain and those new neural pathways will create the new future that you are trying to manifest.

Now, what do we mean when we say that time isn't real? It is a spiritual and philosophical idea that suggests that time was man-made. Calendars, clocks, days, weeks, months, years, were all made by people who needed to make sense of the world around them. How does this relate to your manifestations? All we have is now. The past no longer exists, it is gone forever, that is why we are able to revise it and essentially rewrite history because the past is over. The future doesn't exist just yet, there are endless possibilities, endless realities, and endless futures that you can experience and the only way to to know for sure which one you're going to experience is by manifesting your desired life. So all you have right now is this moment, all that exists, all that ever existed, and all that ever will exist is right now. That is why we tell you to decide on what you want right now and stick with that story because you're not creating your reality, everything that could possibly exist already does. You're choosing what reality you want to live and your reaffirming that choice in your brain by your various methods of manifestations. Think of it like a catalog, you have a magazine in your hands and you are picking and choosing which future you want to have. When you order something online, do you sit by your window and watch for the delivery driver that is going to deliver your package to you every second of every day until that package gets to your door? No, you click order, and you sit back and wait because you know with a 100% certainty that your package is going to come to you. That's exactly what manifestation is, you pick your desired reality, you hit order by affirming, and you wait for the universe to deliver your package to you.

What's standing in your way right now is your lack of trust. And I understand, because as of right now you think that everything is going exactly against everything you're manifesting. You are not seeing the results, you're only seeing the opposite of what you want, and to that I will say this: ignore, ignore, ignore. If the 3D is showing you unfavorable circumstances and old stories, ignore it, turn around, close your eyes, and imagine what you want coming to you. Affirm, visualize, decide, and let go because there is no other choice, you will get your manifestations, that is how the law works. it's not a game of chance, it is reality.

If I tell you that the only way your manifestations will not come to you is if you let your fear of time and unfavorable circumstances hold you back from getting everything you want, will you still be afraid? That is how you need to look at things, you have all the power, you have endless possibilities, and your potential is unimaginable. You are the universe, stop doubting yourself, stop doubting your power, but most of all stop doubting the universe because it always has your back. It always gives you what you ask it, you want money? the universe says yes. you want love ?the universe says yes. you want a good relationship with your parents ? the universe says yes. you want fame and glory and a lot of friends ? the universe says yes! all you have to do is let it bring what you want to you, that is all.

Relax, stop being so afraid, stop throwing a temper tantrum every time you see something that does not align with your new story and let things flow to you because trust me when I say this, they are flowing to you as we speak. Do not go back and forth between the old story and the new story, you're only confusing yourself and delaying your manifestations. You have already decided on what you wanted, now let it come to you. The more you convince yourself by affirming and reaffirming the faster it will come that is all you have to do.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[moonysimp]

i've got my eye on you –pedri

pedri and gavi met y/n and they both have a crush on her, pedri decides to step aside and let his best friend go after her. but turns out things are not as simple as that.

all pedri could think about was that girl he had just met. his friend laura had came by his house to return something she had borrowed from pedri and she had brought a friend with her. y/n was by far the prettiest girl he had laid eyes on. he had asked them to come in and have a drink with him and gavi, who was also at his house. gavi had introduced himself to y/n, and also invited her and laura to come him but the girls couldn't stay so they left. and that what all it took for pedri to have y/n constantly in his head for the rest of the day.

what he didn't know was that the same thing was happening to gavi.

"look man im pretty sure i fell in love at first sight", gavi said in the car, while pedri drove him to his place.

pedri laughed, "well that's the first time ive heard you say that"

"i know, i don't usually say this but you know the girl that was with laura today? y/n? ive been thinking about her all day" , gavi brought his hands to his face, embarrassed.

pedri's stomach sank. okay, they both thought y/n was a pretty girl, nothing was wrong with that. but he had never ever heard gavi -who was never seriously interested in any girl- speak like that about anyone.

"she is beautiful, the most beautiful girl ive seen, and she also seemed pretty sweet", gavi said looking at his best friend. "you gotta invite laura to hang out, and tell her to bring y/n"

pedri laughed again. "okay, lover boy." he tried to wipe y/n's pretty smile off his mind. gavi was interested in her, and he was like his little brother, he couldn't be in the way, no matter how much he thought of y/n. he wouldn't let his attraction to her go any further.

...

"im gonna ask you a favor, and it's one that you'll probably like", laura said wiggling her eyebrows and entering your room.

"what is it?", you asked smiling, knowing nothing your roomie could be planning would be good.

"i know you have to go out today to buy some food so on your way here could you please give this to pedri? he left this sweater here forever ago and now he wants it back for whatever reason", she said. "you know where his place is, i'll let him know you're the one going because i am busy."

"laura you are NOT busy", you said giving her a judgy look.

"i know but im in my pajamas and i don't want to get changed", she whined, "besides you can see your new crush."

you threw her your pillow, "oh my god i only said that he was really cute shut up!!"

"same thing darling", she winked at you, "but please i'm being serious, would you do it?"

you were actually excited to see pedri again so you couldn't say no to her.

you remembered where he lived since you had met him about a week ago, you got to his front door and knocked.

"hi, y/n", pedri said with a smile.

"hey", you replied, "i brought your sweater", you handed it to him awkwardly.

he thanked you and before he could really think it through he said, "do you want to come in and have a drink?" he knew he shouldn't, but he had been thinking about you for days and now that you were here he couldn't resist to try yo make you stay a little longer.

you said yes, maybe even a little too quickly but you were a bit nervous so you just blurted it out.

and just like that you spent all afternoon talking, to be fair time went faster when pedri was with you. even though he was quite shy for a football player, you two seemed to connect and conversation would flow easily. you told him how you had met laura and he told you how she and him were friends since they were little.

"wow i should probably get going, surely lau is wondering where i am", you chuckled.

"yeah no worries", pedri said standing up, and he accompanied you to the door. "it was... very nice talking to you", he couldn't help to say it, he had loved every minute of it, getting to know you a bit more. just as friends, of course, he kept repeating that to himself.

you blushed a little and you heart started beating faster. "i feel the same way", you smiled at him.

he opened the door for you, "see you soon, y/n"

you remembered that barcelona was going to play tomorrow so before courage left you, you leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, "good luck on the match tomorrow", you said and giving him a little smile, you turned in your heels and left.

pedri closed the door and let out a sigh. he really wished that gavi suddenly had forgotten about his crush on you because the last thing he wanted to do was stay away from you.

two weeks had passed and now laura, gavi, pedri and you were sitting together. the four of you had been all day planning fer's birthday surprise, the birthday of pedri's brother was in 3 days and even though he would spend most of the day working, pedri wanted to surprise him with a little something when he got home. and so, he had asked laura to help him organize everything, and to bring y/n along because 4 minds thought more than just 3. and of course, he really wanted to see you again.

"should we get some food? or just a cake and some drinks?", gavi asked.

"well i know we can get a bunch of free bananas from pedri, count that as the first thing ready for the party", you joked and he laughed, your eyes finding his immediately. you loved his smile. whenever you two shared a smile, or a look, you felt like everybody else disappeared from the room, only the two of you remaining present.

he felt it too, like you were the only one there with him, and his heart couldn't help to beat faster. but then reality would hit him, and he would hear gavi's voice asking you something, trying to make conversation, and he would look the other way. because it was not right.

gavi hadn't forgotten about his crush on you and in fact, he had told him that he would ask you the day of the party to go out on a date with him. so pedri had decided to step aside because his best friend liked you, and he couldn't do that him, no matter how he felt towards you.

..

the party was here and even when pedri invited only a couple of people, the place was crowded and he didn't know how that had happened. he went to get a drink to the kitchen and on his way back to the backyard he found gavi eagerly talking to you. he paused and stayed there, watching the two of you from a distance. gavi was probably asking you out right now. he turned and went looking for his brother.

you felt very weird. you arrived to the party with laura, and quickly found gavi with who you started talking. he introduced you to some of his teammates from the club who had attended to the party, you thought it was really sweet of him. but, you couldn't find pedri, and you found that really weird.

"im gonna find something to drink", you said to gavi.

"oh if you want i can bring it for you", he offered smiling.

"oh don't worry i'll be quick", you said and went inside the house, heading to the kitchen, you opened the door and there you found pedri. you couldn't help but to smile. "well hello, i finally found you"

"hey", god you looked gorgeous tonight, he thought. he really needed to stay away. "have you seen fer? im looking for him"

"yeah he's talking to one of your teammates", and you hadn't finished when he rushed past you, murmuring a "thanks"

the night was really different from what you had expected. from pedri being far away from you for a reason you couldn't comprehend, to gavi looking nervous and then asking you to go on a date with him, and you awkwardly telling him that you saw him as a friend and that you actually liked someone else. after the party ended, you stayed to go talk to pedri.

he was in the kitchen, yet again. "did i do something?", you asked, his behavior was hurting you, why would he act distant so suddenly?

"what do you mean?", he acted he really didn't know what you were talking about.

"you've been avoiding me all night, don't act like you haven't realized that"

he closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "it's for the better", he murmured.

"what is that supposed to mean?", you furrowed your brows, you were getting angry by all of this confusing conversation.

"did gavi left?", he asked you suddenly, completely changing the topic.

"i don't know and i don't care, pedri", you said truthfully, all you cared about was the boy in front of you.

that threw him out of balance, and he realized that you both had taken steps throughout the conversation and now were face to face. "didn't he... ask you out?", now he furrowed his eyebrows. he had stayed away from you all night because his friend was gonna shoot his shot with you.

"he did, and i said no", why would he care about that? it was obvious that you didn't have eyes for anyone else but for pedri.

his eyes widened and he couldn't help but to ask, "why?"

you gave in, you placed your hand on the side of his neck and leaned in to kiss him tenderly. he kissed you back and his hands found your waist. he felt like he was dreaming. you broke the kiss smiling and slight shaking your head, "you're the reason why"

everything clicked then, and he understood that it didn't matter if he stayed away, it didn't matter if he looked the other way, because it wouldn't change the way you felt about each other. he pulled you to him and kissed you again. this one being very different from the one moments ago. it was the kind of kiss that left you breathless, the kind that left you spinning. the type of kiss that made you feel like you were the only two people on earth.

but you weren't.

"you son of a bitch", you heard. you both separated from each other and turned to the kitchen door. gavi stood there, his jaw clenched.

———————

part 2

[kosmicdream]

I got this ask on curiouscat but.. the site wont let me post my reply?? so i just decided to put it here since i dont get a lot of questions these days. so i like to answer them when i actually have something more to say. this one also went kinda off topic but w/e.

==

Q: How do you keep the motivation to work on all your long comics? I always start and then abandon a project cause another distracts me or I feel unsatisfied with the result... I admire your commitment so much!

===

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. But don’t get too discouraged.. I get distracted too! I currently have 9 ongoing comic projects with 2 more i eagerly want to start drawing, and at least a dozen concepts on the backburner that have been around for sometimes over a decade. I think that what I’ve found, is that starting a new comic takes so much time. It takes a lot of time to get a story really rolling, time to learn how to draw the story how you want and in a weird way - having a longer comic you’ve had more experience with, you can pull a lot more things from. I generally find that FFAK and NRD are much easier comics for me to work on because of all those years of experience with them. But it still can get demoralizing if i focus too much on the faults or how long I still have to go. Sometimes its easy to feel that readers have lost interest and moved on, or its just not as good as you wanted it to be, ect. If you look for reasons like that, reasons to demotivate you, you’ll find them in spades.So i try my best to NOT do that, because working on a comic is hard enough.

In a weird way, when i sometimes find myself in the pit of struggles like this - i realize every author ive ever read has been in the same shoes as me. There is no artist that just magically has it easier and never runs into some challenges like this, some challenges can never be overcome because they’re part of the experience of making the project. There’s limitations involved and things change overtime. You won’t always have the same experience with the same story as you make it, or the same feelings involved. Sometimes that's really hard to let go of, if you feel the earlier years were so much better than the struggles you have now. I know I faced that hurdle with FFAK and I am currently going through that with NRD, but even the harder times do change too. It never gets easy to make a comic, but it changes. 

With FFAK, i don’t honestly know how I will finish the complete story. I often struggle too, especially with the third (final) arc, if it really is good enough. In a way, a lot of places of it feel incomplete and rushed, so I tend to worry a lot about how that will go. However, I never thought i’d have a comic like FFAK in the first place, so i feel really lucky to have made it this far at all. Endings do scare me, as there’s just so much pressure involved to deliver and even reach it at all, that it feels almost like an impossible fantasy to pull off in a satisfying manner to yourself or the readers. However, I do think I’ve gotten more excited to reach endings than I used to be even a couple years ago, and I have gotten more forgiving of myself for not being perfect at it. No matter what I manage to make, I’m going to have my own critiques of it because there’s improvements to be made in all aspects of the story. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can actually do so I can learn from it and be more confident in the future. 

FFAK also has such a huge cast, it can be a technical nightmare to figure out. I dont envy authors like GRRM that have a seemingly endless cast to deal with. I already have so much of my hands full with what is essentially one family. And I know for my other comics that I’ve made, the cast has never gotten as out of hand as FFAK’s. But I dont mind having FFAK be like this, because it has been part of my enjoyment of writing the story too. FFAK is generally very motivating because I always have something I’m excited to share about it, and every small progress is a big reward for me. I’ve put a lot of years of work into ARC2 and i am desperate to get to share it with everyone, so I hope readers will enjoy what is to come for the future of the story even though it already is a decade old at this point.