#ive gone 3 days without watching it pls

[missmushroombby]

someone post the ride the cyclone slime tutorial on yt NOW

[sillyblues]

the ocean and the wind. (6)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis: tonowari is the ocean and ronal is the wind. where does it leave you?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ notes: yooo i'm so sorry for the super late update, school got me tied up again aksldnakjd i speedran writing this so if there's any mistakes i am so sorry!! anyways the next part will be the last part and can i just say holy shit??? totw is finally ending and i gen don't know how to feel about this. anyways ive read so much of your replies and i am so honoured and flattered that many of you love this story! i am kissing your forehead as you read this btw xoxo as usual, pls let me know your thoughts and which parts were your favourite! till next time!!

part 1 ✩ part 2 ✩ part 3 ✩ part 4 ✩ part 5 ✩ part 6 (here!) ✩ part 7 (final part)

Tonowari is at a loss as he watches you ignore him once more. He talked to you before, he asked you where you had been as you seemingly disappeared into thin air for a couple of weeks. He could not see even a glimpse of your hair and the days without you, his head swam in concern and worry. Have you gone sick? Were you okay? Did something happen? 

As the days without any news from gone by, he grew more distracted from his classes and it was the same for Ronal as well. She grew more anxious and distressed as days went by, and without a proper outlet to let it all out, she grew more emotionally unstable. They could only comfort each other but not once has the turbulence in their heart disappear from the thought of you.

When the news of you that you had gotten sick, he felt helpless. He wanted to come into your home and check in on how you were doing, to be by your side and take care of you in any way he and Ronal can, but your mother had not allowed it. He contemplated sneaking inside your pod to at least see you but there he could not disobey the Healer of the clan. So he sighs inside his heart and with a strained smile, he thanks your mother for the news and offered his best wishes for you to get well soon. When he told Ronal of the news, she frowned deeply and huffed. He watched her gather medicinal herbs and nutritious berries before she gripped them hard in her fist and tears welled in her eyes.

“[Name]... I want to see her,” she said in a brittle voice, her face contorted with longing and anguish for you. Tonowari grabbed her face with both of his hands and pushed the hair out of her face.

“I know,” he leaned his forehead against hers and looks at her straight in the eyes. Her tears slipped and rolled down her cheeks silently and his heart broke apart at the sight of her in pain. Helplessness crept up and weigh his heavy heart down once again. Now, Ronal was hurting and there was nothing he could do. “[Name] is strong. We’ll see them back in no time and they will be healthy when they return.”

“And when they do, they will know of the worry we have for them. The painful agony without them and they will laugh at us, tease us at how much of a baby we two are. They will say how we are just giant children that never really aged with how we cannot handle being without them.” He promised her, promised himself, that everything would be okay and would soon return to normal. Ronal let out a snort and she hid in his embrace.

“They will know of the adoration we have for them,” he whispered against her forehead and kissed the top of her head. Fear comes back and it fills his lungs dark blue. But his passion for you outweighs any of his doubts and suddenly he found himself able to breathe underwater. “We will them of beautiful they are, how they fill us with Atokirina. How much love we carry and drown for her. When [Name] returns, they will finally see how we see them.”

“When [Name] returns.” Ronal murmured against his chest with finality.

Hope swelled in Tonowari’s chest but reality burst it open. When he finally saw you again, relief and joy takes away the heavy weight from his shoulders. When he and Ronal came up to you, they were glad they could finally see you and take the Iknimaya with you. However, they were still worried if you were truly well enough to complete the ritual. But that type of worry soon turned into worry about what have they done wrong for you to avoid them.

You weren’t being the usual you, they noticed. Your happy and cheery aura was nowhere to be seen. Your usual rambles turned into small and curt replies. Your genuine smile turned into one he could not recognize anymore as it did not reach your cheeks. You did not see them anymore. He watched you excuse yourself to your other friends and leave him weak and with so much pain. He watched you the whole time during Iknimaya as you avoided his yearning gazes. He watched you as you continued to hurt him unknowingly, or perhaps you did without giving him and Ronal to ask you why. 

You do not see him anymore.

Now, he looks at you, you who is so alluring as you stand underneath the Cove of Ancestors, adorned with the garments your parents had knitted you that fit you so well and your freshly inked chest that represents your big heart that cared for everyone to which he desperately hopes that he and Ronal are included. The bioluminescent Spirit Tree underwater glows so brightly that it still shines on you. Eywa’s creations swims and streaks of light kisses your skin and he could only think how you leave him breathless of your beauty. He finds himself jealous of the water that you stand in and is closer and touches you the way he wants to be with you.

He recalls how you two promised back then that you two would complete your coming-of-age ceremony together and you two did, just not the way he thought it would. Why do you not see him anymore? Do you hate him? Had he done something wrong? Tonowari wanted to beg you and if he has to be on his knees, he will do so without hesitation as long as you tell him and he will do anything for you to see him once more. But he is the Olo’eyktan’s son, the future chief and has an image to show to everyone, as his father tells him every second. But what use is of his position without you?

Ronal grips his hand and looks at him with worry. He presses his lips into a flat lip, a horrible attempt to send her a smile to ease her concerns for him. She squeezes his hand thrice and his heart throbs at the thought of you.

He remembers how you ignored him before and how everything was just like back then. How you avoided him so and how he thought how you must have despised him. How much pain you gave him in months of you pretending he does not exist. You’re so cruel. So, so cruel. What if this time, you truly despise him now? What if he is nothing to you anymore? Can he take it? Can he truly take it and accept a future without you?

Tonowari’s face is suddenly caressed by Ronal. He looks at her in confusion and she just pushes the hair out of his face.

“When they return, they will know of the adoration we have for them,” she says quietly yet her yearning for you that he also feels is apparent, “We will them of beautiful they are, how they fill us with Atokirina. How much love we carry and drown for her.”

She says what he promised her word for word and he chuckles. He catches her hands and he kisses the knuckles of one of her hands. He squeezes the other hand thrice and finishes his promise to her.

“When [Name] returns, they will finally see how we see them.” No. He cannot just accept that you despise him now without telling him any reason why. He cannot just accept that he is nothing to you so easily. He does not want months of avoidance to happen again and perhaps turn into years of pretending he and Ronal does not exist. He will not give in to the voices that cloud his head for he knows you and you could never hate him. You care about him and Ronal too much and he wishes that it is the same care he and her have for you. Even if he did, he will not risk losing the chance of losing you and a future with you because he loves you. Ronal loves you.

“I see you,” he says to Ronal with eyes full of gratefulness that she snapped him out of his spiralling thoughts and love for her.

“I see you,” she replies with the same eyes that make his heart skip a beat. 

He just hopes that you still see both of them and see them the way they see you.

.

.

.

You are cruel. So, so cruel, Ronal thought as she watches you ignore her. When she talked to you after your disappearance, you acted like there was a barrier between the two of you. You placed a vast distance from her and it tore her heart, clawed it open and you left her to bleed so openly when you left and you didn’t even look back once. The pain from the worry and agony for your safety turned into a burning one that fills her lungs with smoke. Why? What did she do for you to despise being in her presence? Has she scared you as well? Have you grown tired of her as well?

She thought this time would be different. That you would be different. That she has finally found love in Tonowari and you and everything will be all and well. That she wouldn’t hurt anyone again, especially you who is one of the most beloved to her. Was everything a lie then? You said that this time would be different. You said that you were here for her. You said you see her. Was it all just a lie?

No, she silently scoffs to herself. She knows you and she sees you. You are kind. You have a big heart. You see everyone. Perhaps you just didn’t see her anymore. Perhaps it was truly her fault that made you turn away from her just like everybody else.

Disgusting. And so, so pathetic. Had she really not learned anything at all? How could she do that to you unknowingly? How could she hurt you, you who is one of the most precious to her? She does not deserve you, you who is so bright and so full of life and love and all she had done is hurt you. Is this Eywa’s punishment for her? For all the sins she had done in the past, all to return and come back to return in the name of [Name]?

“This time will be different, Ronal.” You said, bringing her face in front of yours. You wiped away her tears and assured her. “I’m here for you.”

“I see you.”

Your words ran through Rona’s mind and oh, despite it all, she still wants you. She still believes that you are different. She still believes that you still see her. She would never give up on you just like you had never given up on her when she didn’t want you to see her. She looks at you in your ethereal beauty that knocks the air out of her and she feels herself falling in love again. You stand there like Eywa’s most treasured creation of all time with the way all of life surrounds you. She looks at the three beads you hold in the palm of your hands and wonders if she and Tonowari would be a part of your waytelem. She finds herself envying the wind that ripples through your hair and clothes and is closer and touches you the way he wants to be with you.

And so, she tells Tonowari and tells him how you will know the wind and the ocean that carries their love for you and grips Tonowari’s hand and would not let him give up on you as well.

“Greetings, brother, Ronal,” a friend of Tonowari’s suddenly cut off her thoughts she lets go of Tonowari’s hand. She nods at him while he greeted him back.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of having my brother here before me?” Tonowari chuckles.

“I just wanted to give you my congratulations for completing Iknimaya, our future Olo’eyktan,” his friend grins to him and nods at her, “And of course, our future Tsahìk.”

She frowns at this. What future Tsahìk? She was not aware of this nor the Tsahìk had personally told her of this. She looks at Tonowari with a questioning gaze.

“Future Tsahìk? When did you learn of this?” his eyebrows press into a flat line while his ears twitched.

“Everyone knows this, brother. In fact, we are all surprised [Name] wasn’t chosen,” he told them and realization dawns on Ronal. Do you know of this as well? Is this the reason why you were avoiding them?

Ronal looks at Tonowari with wide eyes. Tonowari grips her hand and looks at her and tells her with his eyes that they both need to talk to you quickly. Perhaps his friend had sensed that there was something wrong as he apologized and asked if he was in the wrong.

“No, no, thank you for telling me this, brother,” Tonowari pats his shoulder and sends him a strained smile, “I’m sorry but Ronal and I need to go now. I will make it up to you soon.”

She and he nods at him before they go to where you were before. You were not there anymore. Panic swells in her chest as the seconds go by she could not see you. She sees a common friend you and her shared and she quickly calls her over.

“Greetings, Ronal and Tonowari. Congratulations on your Iknimaya!” she beams at her.

“Greetings. I’m sorry but there is an urgent matter I need to attend to. Have you seen [Name]?” she hastily says and concern quickly washes over her friend’s face.

“Oh, I think she left early. Why, had something happened?”

“Thank you. There is just something we need to talk to her. I’ll see you soon.” She nods at her and calls for Ilus nearby. As they swim towards her and Tonowari, she cannot help but the questions that plague her mind. What if they were too late and you refuse to hear them out? What if you hate them for the betrayal you must have felt? What if—

“Ronal,” Tonowari grabs caresses her face with one hand and squeezes her hand with another. “Deep breaths. Breathe.”

She looks at him, frustration welling up in her eyes and she bites her lip. “[Name] sees you. She sees us.”

“What if she doesn’t anymore?” she asks the question that gives them immense pain to even think about. What if? What then?

Tonowar’s eyes soften and he tries to hide his flinch. He is silent and both of them could only cling desperately to the hope that you still do.

Oh, Eywa, she begs, Please help them see our innermost thoughts and the sincerity we have in our souls.

Please let them know of the wind and the ocean that calls out their name.

Please let them still see us.

series-taglist: (tumblr won't let me tag some blogs so if you changed your username, please lmk!) @totesnothere04 @ducks118 @narutoboi @yeosxxx @fanboyluvr @ladylovegood-69 @northsoulss @thatfictionalwh0re @ghostlyworld @toodaloo432 @lovefromjazzy @greendino7 @neteyamforlife @vermilionzombie @vxncxntt @adaiasafira @tsuteysyawntu @mooniequeen @eywas-heir @arminsgfloll @dev1lm4n @myh3artttt @thehoneymushroomhealer @delightcandlelight @shadowmoonlight0604 @dae-dreamer @buttercup-beeee

[antimonyandthyme]

'until some tragic thing happens'...

Athy pls no don't do that/j

But imagine, seb and max being dynamic duo (their drift compatibility is holding record at shatterdom), max coming out of his shell, actually making effort to be with people (team playing, learning about their habits etc) and seb finally letting his accident go (visiting his friend's grave, holding max's hand (max is trying not to think how small seb's hand is))

oh oh 'until some tragic thing happens' like... like kaiju attack. not your typical kaiju attack bc they never attacked together before, always alone. but not this time. max and seb dealt with first monster but much smaller but sneakier one got behind and strikes them right in the middle, max got a hit at his head and lost consciousness for a moment, seb immediately understand what he had to do. it is tricky, to hold jaeger on your own without your partner, seb almost lost consciousness himself but he can't. he can't lose max, he won't survive it. so he dispatched max from jaeger and send him away, away from battle but in his moment of weakness he didn't close the drift. he wants to feel max right before his last breath.

imagine max waking up to news that his partner, his one and only partner, is dead trying to save him. no he screams, no he cries, no he muttered. shatterdom staff let him grieve (after all seb was beloved by many)

days come and go, max still grieves. he isn't laying down no, he is training like never before, he doesn't talk with his peers, he almost live in church, asking, begging for something he know he would never take. but something isn't right. something buzzing him at back of his mind. one day it came to him.

oh. the drift never closed. max never felt seb's death.

hope is dangerous thing but max could deal with danger. he said, asked, demanded, begged and head of shatterdom let the order to find a man. make it lowkey, search for a man (or his body) in hospitals, morgues etc.

max in his dreams started to search for that buzzing thing in his head, trying to call seb ('father, forgive me for thinking you would leave me'), it is so soft and making that noise like bees do. he is holding on that, knowing that seb would be delighted how max's end of bond looks like. max wonders how his end would look like. he can't wait until he asks the man himself.

searches went and came back, there is one man, who fits all signs and lays on hospital bed. max never run to car so fast in his life.

okay idk what am i doing but your line about some tragic event really make me think

Athy, i love all your /check notes/ 5 pacific rim aus (especially can't wait for vettonso one<3)

same seb/max pacific rim au anon

Anon are you... trying to make me cry... because I will... huehuehue... They should be making a movie out of your story I'd watch it I'd be the first in line... huehuehue... He never... cut the drift... he wanted... max to be the last thing he felt... Anon I'm sobbing on the ground...

First of all, Max giving Seb the courage to visit the grave of his old friend? The one who Seb thinks is gone because of him, and will never forgive himself for? Max holding on to Seb's hand tight as Seb dissolves into tears? Max thinking to himself, Hand tiny... Must protect forever...

Kaiju attack, Kaiju attack! They're dispatched from the Shatterdome. Anon--since this is your story, what should their Jaeger be called?

It's a fight with teeth and fangs and canons and metal-plated armour and Seb and Max are so concentrated on the Category IV in front of them that they aren't prepared for the Category III creeping up behind. Kaijus aren't known to work together. Jagged teeth rip through the centre of their Jaeger, and it's chaos. CODE RED CODE RED. EJECT EJECT.

Eject where? They're dead outside of the Jaeger, as is their city. That won't do. They stay in and try to fight, but the suit is falling apart. Machinery crumbles around them, and one large part falls and knocks Max clean out. Seb's screaming, "Max, Max! I need you, Max!" But Max is unconscious.

And well, Seb's already made his decision the day he decided to step into a Jaeger. Max will outlive him. He'll make sure of it. No one's heard of piloting a Jaeger solo for long, but this is the dead man's grip. The kind of grip that gives you enough strength to lift a car. Seb detaches Max from the suit, and sends him floating gently away. He can't bring himself to sever their neural link, it's the last thing he wants to know on this earth. And in a last-ditch attempt, he blows up the rest of the suit to defeat the 2 Kaiju.

When Max wakes, it's quiet. Why is it so quiet? It's not been quiet since Seb.

Where is he? he screams. Where is my partner? Where is Seb?

They tell him to take the time off, that the loss of a partner while in a drift is so traumatic some pilots never recover from it. Max thinks he'll fall into that statistic. He curls up in one of the benches in the church in the Shatterdome and cries himself to sleep.

Wait, wait. He jerks awake. What's that quiet buzzing sound at the back of his head? What's that pull toward someone he can no longer see? What's this?

Forgive me Father, for thinking you would ever leave me.

[threepointseven]

allow me to join them in celestia, your highness

🌺summary!🌺- These 2 fatui harbingers are ordered to kill you by the tsaritsa, what do they do? How do they react?

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= childe x gn! Reader, scaramouche x gn! Reader

Note🍀= i play favorites okay🙄🙄 scaramouche loml <3 anyways i had this idea today in school and i just finished getting stitches after my car crash so what better way to celebrate then a self indulgent genshin angst! also ive been getting no genshin requests which makes me so sad since i love writing for it so please if u have any genshin requests pls feel free to ask!

Scaramouche

10 days before the assassination of his fiancé occurred. He was called in front of the tsaritsa herself

“I need you to kill Y/N L/N.”

When he heard those words come out of her mouth everything froze, the air around him went colder than the tsaritsa’s own vision as he slightly lifted his head up.

His eyes looked shocked, scared, terrified almost.

It was the first time scaramouches subordinates had ever seen him so terrified.

Sweat rolled down his chin and his calm arrogant composure shifted

“I-i believe you may have the wrong person your highness, Y/N has not done anything wrong, they’re but a normal citizen-!”

“In 10 days time, Kill them.”

The tsaritsa’s voice spread frost around the room as scaramouche was pressured to submit.

“Yes.. your highness.”

you can see the pitiful faces that wash over the fatui’s that were watching, the balladeer completely ignored the whispers and the looks of sympathy as he takes his shaken body out of the throne room.

He has 10 days. Within those 10 days he showed you affection like no other

He was kind to you, never letting any sort of hostility out of his mouth when with you.

When he thought about how he was going to have your blood on his hands he immediately went on the verge of a meltdown.

He started letting himself be more vulnerable around you.

Everything you wanted he’d get you. It didnt matter how much mora it costes he’d get you it.

“Scara? Whats up..? Why have you been so.. gentle lately?”

“N-Nonsense.. i havent been doing anything of the sort!”

he scowls then takes you in his arms.

During the night he was supposed to kill you it was a peaceful day, you were cuddling on the bed and you fell asleep.

Tears flew out of his eyes while he pointed his electro at your neck.

the moment he felt your heart stop beating, he couldnt stand it. He had blood on his hands and not just any blood your blood.

As he shows the tsaritsa your dead body he goes into a fit of rage once he’s alone. Blaming you blaming everyone for your death.

How dare you leave him all alone in this cruel world without your warmth and without your kindness?! How dare you give him that feeling of euphoria and leave him like that!

There were multiple nights where he was tempted to meet you in celestia, multiple nights where he pointed an electro laced sword at his neck, just so he could see your smiling face again.

Childe

when he first hears the tsaritsa say that he’s been ordered to kill you he thinks it’s a joke.

“Ahaha! T-that’s a funny joke your highness”

“In 10 days, Kill them. I will not repeat it.

he looks like he saw a ghost and walks out of the throne room half shaking

The moment he sees you he pulls you into a big hug, peppering your face with butterfly kisses

You think he’s just being extra affectionate but he’s really just trying to savour your warmth.

He loves you more than anything and he’d set the world on fire for you but when it comes to the tsarist who knows what’s impulsive reckless mind might do?

During the 10 days he does everything with you and gives anything to you

He starts giving you everything you’ve ever dreamed of using his mora

Ignored all his extra missions and spends time with you. He priorities your little dates and you.

He also introduces you to his family, he wants you to know them before your gone…

His eyes turn glassy as he sees you and teucer playing in the snezhnayan snow,

“ your extra affectionate today~”

“Hmmm? Whats so wrong about loving my beloved fiance !”

he says his cheesy lines as he starts regretting even involving himself with the tsaritsa..

The night he’s supposed to kill you, you fell asleep with teucer leaning on a tree after tiring yourself out playing tag and such

“Teucer, why don’t you go inside bud?”

Childe whispers and urges teucer to go inside so he doesn’t find out that the blood stained snow he sees tomorrow in his backyard is because of his big brother.

He cant bring himself to point his blades at your sleeping face and ends up breaking down.

Just as the morning sun threatens to rise he only then puts his hydro blades to your neck, crying as he makes your death painless.

He lives with the guilt everyday as he gives his subordinates your cold dead body.

He can barely live life without your warmth and regrets it. He wishes he could turn back time, he wishes he would’ve just ran away with you and quit everything.

His soft giddy nature takes a major downfall and he looks like a corpse waiting to be killed, even the great balladeer pities the man at times.

Requests open!

[mrsmount16]

Hey I was wondering if you could write a MM imagine where him and the reader have only gone on a couple of dates then when the announcement of the first lockdown is made he asks the reader to isolate with him? Then I was thinking while they’re isolating they’re experiencing a few Firsts with each other (e.g., cooking together, sharing a bed, movie nights, cuddles and kisses etc).

I didn't know how to write this without being super long and boring so I was going to section it off but hopefully it still gives off the same energy then a normal write lmao, also thank you for the request and this is such a good idea 😩. I didn't really know what other firsts to do😕 I haven’t proof read this either, so it could make no sense at all and probably have spelling mistakes but pls just power through it 🤞🏼

Warning: None.

Lockdown was being announced and everyone was panicking, the news emphasised on the amount of food people were buying and how there was no loo roll left but also about how relationships weren't going to work out due to being locked in the houses for all this time without seeing your significant other or because you was seeing them too much.

You had only been on a couple of dates with Mason, but you both knew that you wanted to pursue something more personal and deep and not just mess around for the fun of it. Thats why when he asked you to isolate with him you didn't hesitate to say yes. Even though the news told you otherwise of how to feel you simply ignored and couldn't wait to spend as much time with him as possible, building up a true connection between you both and making your bond stronger.

Cuddling and kisses and sharing a bed.

You arrived earlier in the day and had already taken your things to the spare bedroom and now sat on his couch, him on the opposite side. You guys hadn't stopped talking throughout the whole movie that played and eventually when it ended you insisted that you bought a takeaway for the both of you.

He agreed and when the pizza arrived you both sat at the table and had a slice, talking endlessly about random things like 'why colours are named what they are' and 'how were humans created'. After about an hour, it was dark out and just turned 9pm.

"I'm gonna get comfy and ready for bed."

"Yeah, I'll meet you up there in a few." He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbing the box and walking off outside.

It was pretty cold out so you pulled on a hoodie and joggers, and you removed your makeup and cleaned your face and teeth and sat on the bed in the free room on your phone.

He knocked on the door and peaked his head through the door frame at about 10.

"You coming?" He gestures to his room.

"Oh yeah, hold up." You smile watching him leave.

He lay on the bed on his phone, lighting up when he saw you enter.

"You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to." He stated, watching as you climbed into bed next to him.

"No, I want to." You snuggled up next to him, resting your head on the pillow.

"I want you to, too." He put an arm around your waist and finally rested down after turning the light off on the bedside table.

You were both submerged in complete darkness, a tranquil atmosphere surrounded you both, the duvet lazily spread across you and your faces faced each other. His eyes were closed, but you lightly leaned in and pecked his lips causing him to open his eyes.

"Goodnight." You said, looking up at him.

"Goodnight pretty." He smiled, kissing you again lightly and resting his head.

You fell asleep in his arms, totally engulfed with his care and serenity, it rubbed off onto you. This was the best sleep you ever had in ages, and you wanted to do it a lot more.

Cooking.

"Hey! Thats not where the flour goes." You retaliated at Mason putting the flour on your nose, a sneeze followed shortly after.

"Oh, my bad." He giggled, sticking the rest of the flour in the bowl.

"These are going to be the best cupcakes you have ever baked."You said, mixing all the ingredients with all the strength you had.

"Yeah? I reckon by myself I could cook some pretty good cupcakes. With no help of Course." He leaned against the counter, his apron said 'world best chef' and he was covered in all ingredients that you didn't even know had to be in the cupcakes.

"Well, we will see about that once you taste my cakes." You smirked, sticking your tongue out at him and wiping a little bit of frosting on his cheek. "Got u back." You giggled.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you closer to him so your front's were together.

"You look amazing cooking.." He cheekily smiled.

"Not too bad yourself." You kissed him, he deepened the kiss and ran his hand up your back, until you felt a hard crack on your head and then an ooze of a liquid go down your back, mason was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach and near enough rolling on the floor.

"Mason!" You shouted, shocked and holding your head, "Did you just egg me?" You laughed, grabbing the egg that was on you and smearing it all over him.

"Two can play that game!" You giggled, grabbing flower and eggs.

Fight and makeup.

"No, I just don't particularly like her. You told me about what she did, she's a bad influence." He argued back.

"Oh, so she's a bad influence? So you think I would do something like that?" You scoffed. Your friend invited you to go on a walk around the park, and you told Mason but when he heard your friends name he instantly scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. He had no care about it and sighed, telling you to just 'do what you wanna, your choice at the end of the day.'. You asked why he was being so moody and he replied that he doesn't like her, and you understood why but because he didn't like her didn't mean that you couldn't hang with her. You did tell him that she did cheat on her boyfriend and you completely disagreed with her actions too but now he was saying she was a 'bad influence' like you was going to be influenced by what she did and start following her actions like you was a child.

"Its only for a catch up Mase, I haven't seen her in like 3 weeks. I haven't been at work remember and ive been locked up here."

"Yes, but anyone but her. We could go. I't doesn't matter, just go. Ill see you when you get back." And then he stormed off up to his gaming room, releasing all his stress on his games.

After about 40 minutes, you realised he was right, it wasn't just the cheating but she just overall was a bad person and you shouldn't have been encouraging such gossip with her.

You entered his room and put your hands on his shoulders, he looked back at you and then carried on his game like you wasn't even there.

"I'm sorry Mase, you was right. I can surround myself with much better people, and I will."

He turned his chair around so he was facing you and grabbed your hips to sit you down on his lap.

"It's okay, and ill go on that walk with you. Let me just finish this game." He said, smiling lightly and giving you a kiss which you returned.

Go-to support.

It was about 2 months into lockdown and your work had been piling up. You was stressed and so not motivated to do anything, even getting up out of bed was hard.

This day was particularly a struggle. You had to finish a presentation and only had today to do it, so you panicked and speeded it, finishing it as quick as ou could without caring about the outcome and just sending it off.

You sat at the kitchen table with your face in your hands, thinking about all the possibilities, will you lose your job? Will you get demoted? You just couldn't stop your mind from wandering.

"Are you okay babe?" You heard Masons voice from behind you and felt a hand on your back soothing you.

You couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down, whimpering and wiping your eyes.

"Mason I need a break from work, its so stressful and I think with the work I just did I'm going to lose my job and im just not motivated to do anything and I-" you rambled on, until he cut you off.

"Hey, hey calm down," He crouched down and placed his hand on the side of your face, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "Don't beat yourself up about it. It's happening to everyone now, im sure if we ask your work to give you some time for your mental health im sure they would let you." he smiled reassuringly.

"We?" You sniffed.

"Yeah, we. We're gonna get through this together. Now, it's always we." He stood up and hugged you tight.

Love and a movie night.

It's been about a 5 months now, and you and Mason had been going strong.

Mason insisted that you watch a movie tonight, sit down with some popcorn and snuggle up together. Of course you said yes.

About halfway in the movie, a conversation popped up about 'what would you do if you was a worm?' and you couldn't stop laughing, at both of your responses.

"Yeah, but I would definitely still love you if you was a worm." He joked, laughing with you.

You stopped almost instantly, looking over at him.

"What?" He looked over, confused.

"Did you just say that you love me?" You questioned, sitting up.

"You didn't hear? I love you." He smiled, chuckling.

you gasped, putting your hands over your mouth. He reached out and grabbed your face.

"I love you." He repeated, just for you to realise what he did, so you could know that it was real, to process the words.

"I love you." You stated, grinning from ear to ear.

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[og-danny-dorito]

Some Quick Alfie Solomons Headcanons

why? because ive been thinking about this baker dude for like a week ok don’t @ me

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

S F W:

- big man is warm all the time, no lie. it can be any time of the year and he’s still basically a space heater with legs, although he doesn't really move much if he can help it. 

- yeah work is GREAT and all, but he’d much rather sleep until 5, wake up to get like some food or a drink of something, and then just fall back asleep with his dog tbh

- highkey doesn't like Italians because the Italian mob consists of some dickheads (in his eyes at least) but honestly wouldn’t mind an Italian s/o??? like yeah he might not trust them at first but after a while he’ll soften up to them

- i kind of see him as maybe bi, but i don’t know. he seems more inclined to females in particular, but there could always be that sort of curiosity there he REFUSES to acknowledge. yes he finds that guy kind of attractive, no hes not gay-

- it kind of takes him a while to get comfortable with anyone, just because hes been conditioned over the years to doubt who you trust. usually if he feels too comfortable with someone for the first few days or weeks talking to them, he’ll distance himself away and maybe not show up for a while just to try and space himself out 

- once he does finally become comfortable though? he won’t leave you the hell alone

- seriously, this dude might show up at your house at 3 am because Cyril seemed kind of distressed and he doesn't really trust anyone else to take care of his dog. or he might show up at your house in the middle of the day just for the hell of it, or at your work. of course he’ll make up and excuse, but the fact of the matter is that he just wants to spend time with you. and i can assure you he’ll have less of a struggle admitting it than a certain peaky blinder would

- probably more down to just lay around and read or something, but he doesn't mind going out every once and a while. id think that he kind of likes going to eat or something, but eating at home is always nice too. and NO drinking cause gross. hes kind of a hermit really, it’s just how he is

- highkey likes thiccies why? because i said so. that and he likes it better that way. it may be a secret kink but we wont address that because these are sfw and i haven’t made nsfw ones yet. to him people with more meat on their bones look like they could boss him round without a problem

- if you're self-conscious he won’t be having ANY of it. don’t think your eyelashes are long enough? not on his watch, expect to get kisses all over your face. don’t think your skin is clear enough? not on his watch, he’s going to make sure you feel like the most beautiful person on the planet. don’t think you look good in your clothes? dON’T MAKE HIM GIVE YOU FACE KISSES AGAIN-

- but seriously he’s v supportive and sweet

- he also may not show it, but he cares a whole lot about you. when you’re at work you may get a random bouquet of flowers and a little basket or container of your favorite sweets or food. he also low key makes lunches for you sometimes (he won’t admit it but he’s pretty doting on you and takes a lot of extra effort out of his day just to make sure you feel loved)

- very very out there but he probably likes it when you call him pet names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘bear’ or something like that. it makes him all blushy and he starts smiling a lot. in turn he also calls you names like ‘love’ or nicknames while holding you from behind

- boss man likes it when you randomly grab his hand while you’re both walking. ESPECIALLY in public. seriously, just walk up and grab his hand and continue walking with him and he’ll get all flustered and grumble under his breath about people being around

- highkey doesn’t want you to wear revealing clothes because he doesn’t like it when others ogle at you. that body is his to touch and his alone, so seeing other people stare at you like some slab of meat isn’t going to fly without a slightly-pissed-off-yelling of “What the ‘ell are YOU looking at?” and him gripping you tighter to his body. he gets jealous rlly easily

- it’s not so much women that make him angry, he doesn’t like to get mad at women in particular just because he sees it as a sign of disrespect. if a GUY is doing it though the fucker is gonna get his face beat into the ground. he’s not fucking around, and may poor guy that dares to think he is when it comes to you will find that they’re sorely mistaken. he can and will do anything to protect you, even if that means beating the shit out of some guy publicly just to make the point clear that you’re taken

- if his violence scares you at all, he probably will try to keep his job and his more erratic nature away from you so as to not drive you away. once he’s gotten used to you it’ll feel weird to have you gone because of some dumb thing he did, and so he tries to avoid that situation at all costs. you mean more to him than anything else, and your word is law

- in any fight you guys get into he’s mostly pretty cool and collected, but there are occasional bursts from his cold exterior. usually he’ll play the ‘I’m not mad, you’re just being irrational’ care, which will result in more outburst on your part and eventually his inevitable angry venting. he tries not to do it, but after a while he does apologize and doesn’t start anything a long time after that. like I previously said he’s too scared of loosing you, so he tries not to make anything he does cause that

- probably would feel more safe protecting you than you protecting yourself. it’s not that he doubts your skill! he just doesn’t want you to get hurt. and he’s fairly certain bodyguards are much more powerful than just one person, right? you’re basically treated like a piece of valuable jewelry at all times

- low key pampers you. like,,, if you say that you like a particular item ONCE you best believe you’ll get it ASAP as far as he’s concerned. he gets you all sorts of stuff; clothes he thinks you’d like, clothes HE likes, etc etc. you could simply say that he likes to make you the happiest he can at all times, but perfectly understands if you’re more simplistic and really just enjoy his company. he probably feels more secure with someone who’s simplistic really, it lets him know that he doesn’t need to constantly get them things to keep them by his side

- would most likely loose his shit if you ever got anything for him. like in a Oh My God Thank You But Why™️ way because he doesn’t actually get gifts that often? literally anything will make him happy, but little homemade things really make his heart melt. you painted him a picture? he’s going to frame that shit and put it in his office dude

- he may be a mob boss but that doesn’t mean he’s always hard and macho, he kind of just needs to be held every once and a while. just hold him, pls he needs it

- all in all he cares a lot about you, and in the end he can’t bear the sight of you even slightly distressed or hurt. he’d lay down his life for you, and if that requires that he protects you at all costs and eliminates all threats then so be it, because he’d die in his spot before he let the enemy get to you

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Twenty-Five

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warning for blood, violence, torture, death, death of a child, implied past sexual abuse, and pls dont hesitate from letting us know if we missed anything <3

Lev stared at the ceiling. It’d taken Cameron fifteen minutes to get out of bed that morning. Lev’d barely fallen asleep by the time Cameron woke and started his painful attempts to start his day, and now Lev couldn’t get back to sleep.

Lev snagged his phone off the bedside table, scrolling through his contacts. He shot a text to Amara and then set his phone down again.

Sighing, he burrowed closer to Nik, breathing in his sandalwood and ocean scent, as if that would make any of this easier. Nik gave a sleepy sound, tucking Lev closer so he could bury his face in Lev’s neck. For a few more minutes Lev let him, absently tracing his fingers down Nik’s sides, following tattoos and muscle until his growling stomach drove him out of bed. He lingered long enough to brush Nik’s blue-streaked hair from his face and kiss the exposed forehead. “Hey. Come get some coffee,” Lev said, tugging on Nik’s hair. Better to get him up now, before Eden woke.

Nik grumbled at him, but made a move to get vertical, so Lev pressed another kiss to the top of his head, cupping his cheek. Nik’s eyes were still closed when he leaned up for a kiss, but Lev indulged him.

“Come on.” Lev tried to sound stern. He was pretty sure he sounded more indulgently affectionate than anything else, but he did pull away, so if Nik wanted anything else-

Nik held out a hand, which Lev took, tugging him to his feet. Almost instantly Lev pressed a hand to his chest, not trusting Nik not to lean over and fall asleep on the ground.

“If I trusted you to walk on your own, I’d ask you to carry me,” Lev said.

Nik pouted. “I can carry you,” he whined, scrubbing his face.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lev said, steadying him as he headed for the door. “I’m probably getting a little big for that now anyway. Not just skin and bones anymore.”

“I’ll just get more muscle then,” Nik mumbled, clearly still half asleep. “It’ll be fine.”

“If you say so, dear,” Lev said, patting Nik’s elbow, and then tugging him away from walking into the wall.

“I do say so,” Nik said, with all the indignity someone ready to doze off on their feet could muster.

That was when Lev managed to steer Nik into the kitchen, where Cameron was making his way painfully to the counter. Lev sat Nik down on a stool, and then scooted past Cameron. “Go sit down,” Lev told him. “I can get the coffee.”

Cameron sent him a glare. “You go sit down. You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Lev said. “Sit. Down. I’ve got it. I- I wanted to talk to you both anyway. Before Eden woke up and all the chaos starts up again.”

“Make me,” Cameron challenged.

Lev looked at him, halfway to the coffee pot. “Cameron. Please? I’m- please. Let me do this. You won't let me do anything else to help.”

“Cameron,” Nik said, rubbing his temples. “Just sit down. It’s too damn early for this.”

To Lev’s relief, Cameron sat down, even if it was in stony silence. Lev moved around in equal silence, mechanically making the coffee and pouring them both a cup. He grabbed a stool and sat down, pretending he didn’t notice how Cameron had watched his every move. Lev waited until Nik had gulped down half his mug before clearing his throat.

Lev rubbed his palms on his pajama pants, and then said quietly, “I texted Amara to come pick me up.”

Cameron didn’t even blink. Nik frowned, clearly trying to process what the hell Lev had just said. “Why,” he finally asked.

“I need- I need some time. Some- some space.” Lev did his best not to look down. He owed them that. “I can’t think- I can’t think here, and- and I’m not being much use right now. I need to step back and just- I need to figure some- somethings out.”

“Are you breaking up with us?” Cameron said dryly.

Nik shot Cameron a dirty look, and then looked back to Lev. “Are you coming back?”

Lev hesitated, wrapping his arms around his stomach. “No- I mean, yes, I mean- No, I'm not breaking up with you, yes I plan to come back- I- I couldn’t stay away forever, I- I just need time. I need to think. So much happens around you both, and it’s all so much. I need to catch my breath.” He swallowed hard. “I know it’s shitty timing- but-”

“But?” Cameron pressed, just like Lev had been afraid he would.

“But I need this,” Lev finally said.

Cameron leaned back. “Fair enough. I can’t protect you anyway.”

“That’s not-” Lev wrapped his arms tighter around himself, closing his eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” He hated himself, just a little, for how the tears pricked anyway.

“You don’t have to go.” Nik looked awake now. “You can stay. Why do you want to go? Is it because of yesterday? What I said to you?”

Lev shook his head vehemently, curling inwards. “No. No. It’s not that. It’s not you, either of you.” He scrubbed at his cheek angrily. “I just have to, Nik. That’s all I have for you.”

When Lev looked up, Nik was glaring at the counter. Cameron’s level gaze was on Lev, gauging him. Lev didn’t like the feeling.

“Take Eden with you,” Cameron finally said. “I can’t protect her either.”

“I can’t,” Lev said, softly. Even if it pained him so much it was hard to breathe.

Cameron nodded. “I’ll have Nate come get her,” he said.

Lev blinked. “Are you in that much danger?” He finally asked.

“What does it matter? You won’t be here. You’ll be safe with Amara.” Cameron’s tone was halfway dismissive.

“I wasn’t worried about me,” Lev said, sharpness entering his voice without his permission. “I’m worried about you. You’re hurt, and you won't let anyone lift a finger to help you. Are you going to just send everyone away and sit there until he comes back?”

“It’s none of your business,” Cameron replied, face blank.

“Nothing is ever my business,” Lev said, standing. “I just sit in confusion, and get to be treated like a child when I don’t understand what’s going on. Just because I’m not strong or fierce or good at making people bleed doesn’t mean I can’t handle anything ever.” He rubbed his face, sniffing hard. “Whatever. I need to get dressed. Amara should be here soon.”

“What’s going on is that I have an angry client who is upset I took his job,” Cameron said.

Lev had no idea what to say to that. Neither, it seemed, did Nik, who stared at Cameron with an openly horrified expression.

“Go get dressed,” Cameron said, struggling to his feet and heading for the stove. “You’re probably right.”

Lev watched him for a few heartbeats before spinning on his heel and walking out the door. That was exactly why he needed to leave. It was so damn hard to think straight around Cameron. Or Nik, for that matter. They left Lev feeling like he was always half a step behind, off kilter and so full of emotions he didn’t know how to process.

Once Lev got to his bedroom, Lev peeled off his pajamas, and went rummaging for his own clothes. All his this time, not Cameron’s or Nik’s. He settled on the edge of the bed once he was done, and buried his face in his hands.

---

Nik was still staring at Cameron’s back, horrified at what Cameron said, but he was also torn between that and going after Lev to get him to change his mind. Cameron was acting so unfazed about literally everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours and Nik wasn’t sure how to take any of it. “He’s going to leave,” Nik said.

“As is his prerogative,” Cameron said, trying to get out a skillet. “I’m not his keeper and I have no intention of forcing anyone to stay with me. If you want gone, too, then go. I can’t protect you either.”

“You called Destris a client.”

“Yes?” Cameron said, back spasming as he finally got the skillet onto the stove top. “I know what I said, Nikolas, I was there. Do you not know the definition of the word?”

“Yes, I-” Nik was at a loss of words. “Just. Fine. Don’t go anywhere. I’m going to go talk to Lev.”

When Cam didn’t say anything, just kept attempting to cook, Nik sighed softly and went to the bedroom, where Lev was settled on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Lev hadn’t even looked up when Nik knocked on the doorframe. “Do you remember when I told you you had to decide if you could handle being here during your heat? Is this you deciding?”

Lev finally looked up at him, shoulders slumping. “This is me trying to decide with a clear head.”

“What- what did I do?” Nik said. “Was it something I said? Did? Annoy you one too many times?” Nik tried for a smile. “Is it because I said you were gross for not liking coffee. It was a joke. I promise you can just like your milk and honey and I’ll just judge you in silence.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Lev said. “Neither did Cameron.”

“Then why,” Nik said. “Why now. Something happened and now you’re leaving us. You don’t have to go, please don’t go. I love you.” Well, Nik hadn’t meant to say that, but it was too late to take it back now.

Lev looked so hurt and he just stood. “That’s not fair, Nik. Throwing that in my face now. It’s not a magic band aid.” He went to grab a jacket. “I’m going to wait for Amara on the front porch.

Nik grabbed Lev’s arm before he pushed past him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Just. I’m sorry.” He let Lev go, though, and went to go to the kitchen where he dropped down on a stool and drop his hands in his hands.

“I’m guessing you didn’t succeed?”

“Probably got him to never come back,” Nik muttered.

“Sounds about right,” Cameron said, grunting as he reached for the eggs in the fridge. “Just let him go. If he wants to come back, then he will. If not, perhaps he wasn’t meant to be here for good.”

“I guess.”

Finally the telltale sound of Amara’s shitty motorcycle came closer and Cameron said, “Are you going to tell him goodbye?”

“No,” Nik said, face in his arms. “He probably doesn’t want me to after that.” When Lev didn’t come in to say he was leaving, and when the motorcycle started getting far away, Nik said, “See?”

Cameron flicked him a look while he started slicing up avocados. “Go get my phone.”

Nik slipped off the stool and wandered around the house until he found Cameron’s phone still speckled in dry blood. “Of course it is,” Nik muttered, making his way back to the kitchen. “Here.”

Cameron finished up his avocado and then took it from him. He put the phone between his ear and shoulder while starting back up on cutting up the… vegetable? Fruit? Whatever the fuck an avocado was.

“I am well aware of the time, Nathaniel,” Cameron said, coolly. “No, I don’t care that either of you are sleeping, either. I need you to do something for me.” Cameron paused, looking unimpressed at whatever it was that Nik could imagine Nate was saying. “Get Eden. Keep her for a while. I don’t know, Nate. If I did I would give you a set time that I’d be picking her up. Consider it open ended. There isn’t anyone I know competent enough to take care of her for me. Good. Goodbye.” Cameron promptly hung up and put the phone on the counter and continued chopping up the avocados. “He’ll be here in a few hours. I’ll finish breakfast and then get her ready.”

“So you’re really doing it,” Nik said. “You’re giving my brother the baby? Our baby?”

“It’s the right decision with Destris still in town,” Cameron said, neutrally. “You won’t let me kill her and I can’t protect her. It’s the only choice left.”

“I can protect her,” Nik said, defensively. “I am just as dangerous as you are, and apparently more dangerous than you are since you refuse to raise a hand to your sadistic brother and refuse to let Lev heal you because of your damned pride.”

Cameron’s eyes flicked up at that and it was an effort to not shrink back at that ice cold look from him. “You can protect her?” he asked, coolly. “You? Who can’t even handle a minor injury without drinking two extremely strong drinks because you got too upset?”

“Did you seriously just call what you had a minor injury,” Nik said, staring at him.

“I’m alive and on my feet,” Cameron said, moving back to the stove with the diced up avocados. “So yes.”

“You’d be dead if it wasn’t for Lev and Sazra,” Nik countered. “Your back just got resplit open and all your fingers broken, and stars know what else. Do not tell me that was a minor injury, you fucking liar.”

“We don’t lie to each other, remember,” Cameron said, completely unfazed at Nik’s blatant yelling. The pan sizzled as Cameron dropped the chopped avocados into the vegetable oil. “Just because you can’t handle a little pain, doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“You need so much therapy,” Nik said, still staring at him. He wasn’t sure if he felt bad for him, or if he was disgusted or just enraged at Cameron so clearly unable to see how flawed his logic was.

“No I don’t,” Cameron said, moving around the food with a spatula. “What’s a therapist even going to tell me what I don’t already know. At the end of the day the clock can’t be turned back, so it doesn’t make a difference.”

Nik hated that he couldn’t think of a damn counter to that. He had the same logic for it, but it didn’t sound right coming out of Cameron. “Whatever,” Nik said, plucking a cooked avocado cube out of the skillet and popping it into his mouth. “If you want to be that dense, so be it.”

---------

After breakfast, Cameron made his way back to Eden’s nursery, taking longer than he cared to admit, but found her awake, sitting and chewing on a new stuffed animal. She laid her eyes on him and started waving around her chewed toy and squealing at him. Cameron grimaced. “Good morning to you, you little monster,” he grumbled, picking her up and carrying her to the changing table.

He made quick work of changing her diaper despite the pain lacing through his body. But he had a schedule to keep, and he was going to keep it. Eden, luckily, seemed to realise that Cameron was injured and kept her wiggling to a minimum.

He managed to get her stuff packed in record time and decided to use the remaining time sitting in the rocking chair with her feeding her. Eden contently took to her feeding with enthusiasm. He used his foot to rock the chair slightly. “Hopefully the angel will keep your schedule with little change,” he told her. “If he doesn’t, you have every permission to raise hell with him.”

Cameron liked to think the glint he saw in her eyes was her agreeing with him. When they finished the bottle, Cameron went ahead and changed her once more, just to be safe, and carried her and the diaper bag out to the kitchen where Nik was in fact waiting with Nate. Nate stared at him, but his face was neutral in almost a flash. “She ready?” he said, trying for a light tone that didn’t sit well with the expression on Nate’s face.

“Clearly,” Cameron said, blackness cutting around the corners of his vision while he shrugged the diaper bag off his shoulder and handed it over to him. “There’s clothes, diapers and everything else you need. I also included her schedule. I trust you can read? If not I’m sure Bay can for you.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “I can even tie my own shoes, too,” he said, shouldering the bag and going to take Eden from him. He brought her to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “You ready, Baby?” he said, smiling down at her. “I bet we got plenty of toys for you to destroy.” Eden’s shrill giggle made Nate’s eyes crinkle. But that smile instantly evaporated into solemness when he looked back at Cameron, then at Nik. “She’ll be safe with us. I promise it.”

“Well good,” Nik said, bitterly. “Because apparently neither of us can protect her.”

Nate opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say something but deciding anything he had to say wouldn’t suffice. He just nodded in the end, lightly bouncing Eden. “I’ll send you updates,” he said, to both of them. “Good luck with whatever’s going on.”

Nik quickly got up from his spot on the stool and came over to press a kiss to Eden’s white hair. “I’ll see you soon, Baby. Promise.” He looked up to Nate. “Thanks, man. I won’t forget this.”

Nate shrugged. “What’s family for?”

-----

As if they could sense Lev’s mood, Reneé and Cin tiptoed around Lev as he curled up on the couch. Even Amara was subdued, and Lev almost swore she was hovering. Reneé had fed him, which he appreciated, but it only made him more homesick for Cameron’s cooking.

Eventually, though, they all just piled up on the couch, squishing Lev in the middle. Someone constantly had their hands on him, patting his hair and purring softly. Not home, but safe enough for now, even if his omega was unhappy he was so far from Cameron and Nik.

Lev buried his face against Cin, sniffling abruptly. Amara bit down on his shoulder, and then asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lev shook his head sharply. “I just- I need to think.” He sniffed a bit more, and then mumbled, “Maybe after a nap.”

“Yeah, maybe. You look like you only got fifteen minutes of sleep last night,” Amara replied teasingly.

“I did,” Lev replied.

Amara tugged at him, made him look at her. She searched his face, blue-grey eyes hard and serious for once. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m just tired,” Lev said in a small voice. “I want to sleep. Please?”

After waiting Lev out didn’t get Amara anywhere, she sighed. “You want the couch or the bed?”

“They’re about the same level of comfortable,” Lev muttered.

At least she laughed at that. “Maybe they’re a good influence on you after all.” She ruffled his hair. “Listen. Reneé is officially late to school. Cin and I are going to drop her off, and then we’ll be back. We’ll be gone an hour, tops, alright? I’ll wake you up when it’s time for lunch.”

Lev made a face. “You’re not going to try to cook, are you?”

“Nah. I’ll use your card to order out,” Amara promised as she and the others peeled away. “Sleep here, sleep in my bed, sleep in Ren’s. Doesn’t matter to me.”

“Okay,” Lev said, closing his eyes when Reneé pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “See you later.”

Without them, the apartment, tiny as it was, felt vast. No matter how tired he was, he couldn’t get comfortable. Not on the couch, not on either of the beds. There was nothing to eat in the kitchen and nothing to watch and nothing to read; Amara must have been late on her cable bill, and Reneé unfortunately had a much different reading taste from Lev.

Restless and irritable, Lev grabbed his jacket and scribbled a note for Amara to call him if she needed him. Maybe a walk would clear his head. So on a walk he went, following familiar streets blindly until he realized he was standing on his old porch, staring at a door he knew damn well was still broken.

After blinking a few times, he pushed the front door open. The living room was dark, but Lev could still see the old stain on the floor. He let out a small breath, and shut the door behind him, flicking on the lights as he padded deeper into the house. Once he reached the kitchen he hunted down cleaning supplies; cleaning helped him think, and maybe, one day, he could sell this place and be rid of it forever.

He wasn’t sure how long he was on his knees cleaning before he admitted defeat. He’d gotten all he could up, and if he wanted to sell this place it was likely that he’d have to replace the carpet entirely. At least now, though, it wasn’t crusted with his own blood, and merely damp as hell and stained.

Sitting back on his haunches, Lev wiped his cheeks. He hadn’t even realized he’d been crying again. It made sense, though. Even now he swore his back twinged with the ghost of Remi’s blade. He was putting the cleaning supplies away when he heard a knock on the front door. Only after a moment of debate did Lev skirt around the damp patch in the carpet and open the door a crack.

A tall, dirty blonde man stood there. He was smiling faintly down at Lev, head slightly cocked to the side.

“Can I help you?” Lev ventured, just to be polite. He couldn’t place why he looked vaguely familiar, and a pang of guilt had him opening the door a fraction more. Had he just forgotten who this was?

“I was wondering if I could use your phone to call my brother? My car broke down,” the man said in a too-pleasant tone.

Lev hesitated. Something... something wasn’t right, and he was tempted to shut the door in this man’s face. He could smell that this was an alpha, and that only left Lev more wary.

Lev must have hesitated too long, because this strange alpha leaned closer. “It’s the middle of winter. Are you really going to leave me out here?”

That was enough Lev winced, mumbling a quick, “Sorry,” out of habit. He dug around in his pocket, and fished out his phone, sliding it through the crack. Surely an alpha would understand why an omega would be so damn wary of a stranger on his porch, and even if he didn’t that was not Lev’s problem.

The alpha flashed him another small smile, and started dialing. Lev couldn’t hear the dial tone, and barely caught whatever he was saying, but a chill went down his spine when he heard the alpha murmur Cameron’s name.

Already Lev was suspicious, and it took mere seconds to bounce to a chilling conclusion. In a flash Lev shoved the door shut and scrambled to hook the chain in place. The doorknob might be broken but the chain could buy him-

A shove against the door sent Lev stumbling back before he could even slot it into place. Lev could almost see it, now, what Zareth had said about it being Cameron, but worse. He bolted despite the leisurely stroll Destris was taking, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him and twisting the lock shut. A futile shove at the window told him it was jammed in a way that wasn’t natural- but how...?

Deciding now wasn’t the time to ponder about that, Lev looked around the room frantically. As he tried not to panic, he heard a knock on the bedroom door. “What’s wrong? It was just a phone call,” Destris said, voice syrupy sweet.

Lev’s hand dropped to his pocket, before he realized with a small omegan whine that Destris had his phone, and his landline phone was in the kitchen. He couldn’t call for help.

He was moving for his bedside table when Destris opened the door with a sharp twist to the doorknob. Lev froze, pressing his back to the wall and keeping the bed between them.

“Why are you so afraid?” The demon asked casually. “I can smell the fear on you.”

“A strange alpha just broke into my house,” Lev said, scooting closer to the bedside table. His voice shook. “Why wouldn’t I be afraid?”

“Am I really all that strange?” Destris cocked his head again. “We’re practically in-laws.”

Lev stilled by the bedside table, gripping the corner of it tightly. “I don’t know you,” Lev finally managed, trying to keep his breath steady and failing miserably. “And I don’t trust you.”

“Oh?” This time Destris arched a brow. “And you know Cameron? There’s plenty you don’t know about him.”

Lev wrapped his hand around the little lamp on his bedside table. He threw it as hard as he could, and scrambled over the bed, trying to make it out the door. Destris merely sidestepped the lamp and stuck out his foot. Lev barely managed to keep from falling on his face, twisting so his shoulder took the brunt of the fall instead of his face, or worse, his wrists.

Dazed, Lev didn’t get the chance to scramble up before Destris loomed over him, looking amused. “Carrying precious cargo, are we?”

It took Lev a few precious seconds of confusion before Lev blurted out, “No?” He scooted back, trying to get room to stand. Surprisingly, Destris let him stand, even if he kept prowling closer, green eyes glinting.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Destris asked.

A cold shiver went down Lev’s spine. He opened his mouth, and tripped over the coffee table before he could say anything. Stupid. He should have been moving closer to the front door. He started edging that way instead, keeping an eye on Destris. “I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.”

“You’re an omega. I’m sure you’ve taken many cocks up the ass. There’s plenty of ways.”

Lev shook his head sharply. “No,” he said faintly. “My family- we don’t- it takes so long for- I’m not fucking pregnant.”

Destris gave him a slow once over, chuckling. “You certainly look it.”

Lev didn’t even have a response for that. Had it been any other time he would have been offended at the comment about the weight he’d gained from all the food Cameron had insisted he eat, but today he just yanked the front door open and tried to make a run for it.

Destris didn’t even stop him. Lev made it all the way to the neighbors front door, and when he looked over his shoulder, Destris had his hands in his pockets, stalking across the yard with a fluid grace that sent a shudder through Lev.

To his surprise, the door slid open before Lev could bang on it. Horror hit Lev a second too late as he stepped inside, the scent of rotting honey slamming him to a halt not two steps in the parlor. He gagged, hitting his knees as he stared at what used to be his neighbor- and her daughter.

Lev’s stomach lurched as he stared, too sick to move. “No,” he whispered, still taking in the sheer amount of golden blood splattered all over the place.

“They were in my way,” Destris said in a bored tone from behind him.

Lev fought another heave of his stomach, reaching for the infant. “They wouldn’t have hurt you,” he said, choking back tears. He drew his hand back, hugging his stomach as if that would help anything.

“They were angels,” was all Destris had to say, as if that excused this slaughter.

Lev turned around, hands clenched. “She was a single mother. You killed a child. They wouldn't have hurt you.”

“No one can hurt me. Cameron wouldn’t even hurt me.”

“Then why,” Lev rasped. “Why?”

“Because I can,” Destris replied easily.

Lev’s sharp, “Fuck you,” was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He flinched immediately.

Destris’ small smile did nothing to ease the twisting of Lev’s stomach. “Why would I defile myself with an angel when Cameron is right there?”

Lev flinched again, drawing back. “What do you want?” Lev demanded weakly, even as he stood on shaky legs.

This time Destris’ smile grew. “I want to hurt Cameron,” he replied.

That was more than enough for Lev, who turned around and made to bolt for the back of the house. He wasn’t ready for Destris to catch the back of Lev’s hoodie, yanking hard enough Lev choked.

“This is a really poor choice in clothing,” Destris said, before tossing Lev to the side. Lev landed directly in the middle of the glass coffee table, which shattered beneath him. Shards of glass cut into his hands when he tried to get up, and he could feel blood sliding down his face. Before he could get his bearings, Destris fisted a hand in his hair, and dragged him out of the pile of glass.

As Destris started dragging Lev out the door, Lev latched onto Destris’ wrist, trying to pull free. Destris wasn’t having any of that, and slammed Lev’s face into the doorway. Lev saw stars, but that wasn’t enough, because Destris tossed him down the porch stairs, letting Lev crumple in a heap, too dazed to move from the concrete sidewalk he’d landed on.

“You should be more careful, little bird,” Destris mocked, descending the stairs leisurely.

Lev pushed himself up. He’d fucking crawl if he had to, even if his head was spinning so much he wasn’t sure if he’d know which direction to go. He didn’t get far before Destris’ foot connected with his side, sending him sprawling again. Lev blinked up at him when Destris crouched beside him, grabbing Lev’s face.

“Are you alright? You’re bleeding,” he said with faux concern, swiping his thumb through the blood on Lev’s cheek. He popped said thumb in his mouth, eyes glinting. “I can see why Cameron bites you so much.”

“Let me go,” Lev said, unable to keep the panicked, pleading tone from his voice.

“Why would I do that, when we’re just getting to know each other?” Destris purred. Abruptly he yanked Lev’s head up, latching onto Lev’s throat with his fangs. Every instinct of Lev’s was screaming: he went limp out of sheer self preservation, giving a high pitched whine that was nothing short of pure omegan submission.

When Destris pulled back, his lips were shiny with golden blood. “Much better. I should bite angels more often.”

Lev closed his eyes tightly, well aware of Destris’ hand in his hair still, and of the blood gushing down his front. As Destris dragged him back towards Lev’s house, Lev tugged his magic up, hoping what he had left from healing Cameron would at least be enough to close up the wounds he had now. He was lucky: by the time Destris dropped him on his living room floor, he’d closed most of them, including the vicious bite to his neck.

Lev looked up at Destris, breathing hard and already crying silently. His omega whined deep within him, and he listened, arching his neck slightly in a show of terrified submission. Anything to keep Destris from lashing out again. Posturing like that had worked with violent alphas before, after all.

“Do you bare your throat like this for Cameron?” Destris asked. When Lev didn’t say a damn word, frightened and unwilling to provoke him further, Destris mused, “You’re too scared. I guess I should look like someone you trust.”

As he spoke, his features shifted, just enough. In a single blink, Lev was staring up at Cameron. His breath caught, and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. That wasn’t fair.

“Is this better?” Destris asked, and it was Cameron’s voice Lev heard.

“Please,” Lev whispered, holding very still.

Destris crouched, grabbing Lev’s face gently. It didn’t- those were Cameron’s hands, and those should have been comforting, were comforting, weren’t comforting.

“Stop crying,” Destris ordered- Cameron- it was his voice, and Lev hated that it worked, hated that his tears stopped. He held still, too afraid to say anything. It didn’t make- he didn’t understand- it shouldn’t have-

“Good boy,” Cameron- no, Destris- said, sending a shiver down Lev’s spine. That little smile was too- it was wrong, on Cameron’s face.

“No,” Lev said in a tiny voice, pulling at Destris’ grip on his face weakly.

“No what? Don’t you love me?”

Lev pulled back a second time, even as his eyes filled again. “No. You’re not Cameron.”

Destris’ grip on his face never faltered, though the hands holding him changed. “Is this better?” Nik’s voice asked.

Lev jerked back again, shoving at Destris’ chest with one hand. In the next heartbeat Destris had snapped his fingers. Lev screamed, hunching over, but Destris wouldn’t even allow that, stopping him with a palm to Lev’s forehead. The next sob that bubbled up damn near choked Lev as he stared up at Nik’s face, vision swimming.

“Let me go. Please,” Lev whimpered.

To his surprise, Destris did. For a few seconds Lev just curled inwards, shocked by the release and overwhelmed by the pain. Nothing happened, even when Lev tottered to his feet. It was a game, Lev realised with dawning horror. Destris really was going to just let Lev walk right out that door and drag him right back in.

That didn’t stop Lev from stumbling past and down the porch, though. He made it to the mailbox at the end of his yard, and Destris had barely even stepped onto the porch. The demon was definitely just toying with him.

Lev leaned against the mailbox anyway, forcing his fingers back the way they should be with a strangled cry, and forced healing down his hands. They’d be fucked up and crooked, but at least the pain eased. He tossed another glance over his shoulder, in time to see Destris shift. A massive black panther was now loping across the lawn.

Lev bolted this time, but he didn’t even make it ten paces before the solid weight of Destris’ demonic form hit his shoulders, sending him face first into the sidewalk. Claws pricked through his jacket, a warning. The hot breath on Lev’s neck was a warning too.

Destris grabbed Lev’s hoodie between his teeth and started hauling Lev back towards the house again. Lev twisted, despite the futality, scrabbling with the zipper until he tumbled free. He barely got to his feet before a lazy swipe of Destris’ paw sent him sprawling again.

As easily as a cat would flip a beetle, Destris rolled Lev onto his back, planting a massive paw on Lev’s chest to pin him there. Practically hyperventilating, Lev stared up at him, unable to take his eyes off the fangs Destris flashed at him.

Maybe he should have, because a moment later claws were digging into his stomach, shredding the soft flesh there with little care of what damage it caused. Lev thrashed, shrieking as he shoved up against Destris, and only got his arm clamped between the demon’s jaws.

Pain radiated from both, stronger than it should have been, and only growing worse. Lev barely registered Destris dragging him back up the stairs. The pain swelled until it was the only thing was aware of, and by the time it faded to a steady pulse of agony he could think through, he’d lost all grasp of how much time had passed.

When he lifted his head, his breath rasping in his throat, Destris was seated in one of his arm chairs, watching him over the top of one of Lev’s battered romance novels. Blood caked off of Lev as he tried and failed to push himself up. His magic was moving sluggishly, barely any left, which explained why his stomach was still oozing yet more blood steadily. Rather than keep pushing, Lev dropped back down on the floor, exhausted. He could taste blood, the sickeningly sweet flavor flooding his mouth every time he gave a wheezing cough.

“Do you imagine Cameron wooing you like these characters?” Destris asked. Lev couldn’t muster up the energy to reply, Destris added, “He’s not capable of it.”

Lev closed his eyes. “I’m not stupid,” he finally croaked. “I know he isn’t. I don’t expect him to.” He sucked in a ragged breath. “He doesn’t owe me a damn thing.”

Destris gave a laugh. “The mark of true love.”

“He doesn’t love me,” Lev said after a long stretch of silence. “I don’t expect that either.”

“I didn’t say he did. Cameron doesn't and can’t love anyone. You however, do love him. And that is why I can play with you.”

Lev didn’t have an answer for that. He pressed a hand against his stomach, curling inwards on himself as he coughed hard. When he wiped his mouth with his free hand, it came back gold. He mumbled against the carpet, "What have I done to you? Why are you doing this?"

Destris closed the book. “You’re ruining my bastard with your soft heart.”

It took several seconds for that to process, but eventually Lev managed, “Eden?” He shoved a hand underneath himself, biting back a sob as he forced himself to sit up so he could stare at Destris properly.

“No,” Destris said, amused. “The other one.”

The sarcasm in his tone made Lev wince. “There’s nothing wrong with teaching her to be kind,” Lev finally said tiredly. “You could benefit from a few lessons yourself.”

Destris’ smile did nothing to calm Lev. “Are you offering?”

“Are you actually willing to learn?” Lev shot back, pressing his hand against his stomach harder, willing the last of his magic to close up at least the outside of his wound. There wasn’t much he could do about the internal bleeding, not right now.

"You dont need to teach me how to fuck you. But if you want to bad enough, I can offer that kindness."

Lev flinched, eyes going wide. “I- that’s not- that’s not what I meant.”

Destris cocked his head, watching Lev. “Isn’t it though?”

“That’s not a kindness,” Lev said, unable to lift his voice above a whisper.

"That's the kindest thing I could do for someone who's destroyed countless numbers of my people."

“I wasn’t- I never fought in the war.” Lev pulled his hand away from his stomach. Barely scabbed over, the best he could do. “I don’t hurt people. Angel, demon, human, witch. I don’t- I don’t do that. I won’t.”

“All Angels are guilty in the gods' eyes.”

Lev didn’t know what to say. He had no defense. It wasn’t his fault who his parents were, and it wasn’t fair to blame him for that. Not that Lev’s silence mattered. Destris seemed bored, standing. Before Lev could register what he was doing, he planted a vicious kick in Lev’s stomach, tearing open whatever Lev had managed to heal, and making everything far worse. Lev crumpled with an awful wheeze, choking on the too-sweet taste of his own blood.

"Broken toys have no use to me,” Destris said, leaning over Lev’s limp form.

It was several minutes before Lev realized he was gone. It was several more before he could drag himself towards the kitchen. Destris still had his phone, but Lev had always been old fashioned, and he had a landline around here somewhere.

When he found it, he yanked the cord that plugged the base in until the cordless phone toppled to the floor beside him. It took more than one try to dial, but eventually he curled up on the floor, one hand holding his stomach closed, the other holding the phone to his ear.

When the other line picked up, Lev closed his eyes, whispering faintly, “Cam- Cameron? I made a mistake.”

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @livvywrites @halstudies​ @alittleyellowdinosaur

[sociallyawkward--fics]

hi !! idk how long its been (awhile) but long enough that i have scrolling through ur posts that i haven't read bc i don't have an attention span -H (ok but how long has it been i can't tell android mobile doesn't show dates(???) so i can't tell idk how far back to think back in terms of talking abt stuff but neway) (the last ask i sent in was abt the witcher right how long ago was that it seems not that long ago but also forever ago at the same time)

oh yea abt the witcher u said it was on netflix so if i watched it without any other knowledge id be fine right -H (like,, i assume so(??) but i just wanted to check or smth idk)

but !!! neway !!! idk what to say uhhh bts came out with a new song, your eyes tell, for,, a japanese show or smth& its so pretty like

i kinda made a promise with myself not to get into any other groups until i could understand their korean but i also forgot i made that promise until like 2 days ago so for the last week ive been getting into stray kids ! now the next asks will be me rambling abt them just bc. before i got interested in their music the only thing i knew abt them was they did an ok boomer song called gone days they dont actually say ok boomer but it amounts to the same thing& i think that's very iconic of them -H

one of the members felix is apparently bi so !!!! i love him !!!! -H (he never explicitly said it but someone asked what his ideal type was& he asked if they meant for boys or girls& then described both so) (i mean he also might not be i don't wanna assume or anything so im just kinda sitting here& quietly believing while also not at the same time yknow) (also he's so so pretty !!! u could just search up felix stray kids rq& see but he has freckles !! excuse me while i cry !!!!)

theres also chan& i love him !!!! hes got that gives rly good hugs vibe so my only goal in life is for him to hug me pls chan ily. he was recently doing a live& someone asked him what they should do bc theyre on their period or smth& he said "ppl with periods" rather than just "girls" which was !! so nice& inclusive im crying !! -H (also him& felix r from australia so they speak fluent english so this isnt a rough translation or anything !!its just what he said i would die for him !!)

oh !!!!! short pause in my skz rambling bc i forgot to tell u that i cut my hair !!!!!! its like a pixie cut so its rly short& i love it so much !!!!!! now all i need to do is redye it& nobody will ever think im straight again -H (i noticed ive been using a lot of exclamation marks this time around& i have no idea why that is skdjdh)   

yea so stray kids,,,,, they have a performance video for their song boxer& i !! love it !! idk smth abt their dance for it is so like,, bouncy& it's rly fun to watch felix does this spin kick idk what it's called but it's cool as hell. jisungs mannerisms r also amazing& i love changbin there's a part wheres he's in the middle& it's Esp Bouncy& the way he says boxer is so cool felixs is cooler but it's still cool idk i just like the video a lot -H

uhh thats another thing ud need to watch to understand but u dont have to& thats not gonna stop me neway !!!! theres another song i am you where changbin says smth that roughly translates to "its too cold outside to be alone by myself / its warm here, maybe bc ur here"& in the mv the camera zooms out& u see that hes laying with the other members every time i see it i feel like im being punched in the gut bc thats so cute ???? thats so soft wtf is that even allowed ???? pls i love them -H

anyway that concludes my session of infodumping stay tuned later for more of my rambling uhhhh bye ily -H

---------------------------------

I also have no clue how long it’s been because I have NO sense of time lol, so don’t worry about it. I’m just happy to hear from you whenever you come around!!

And yes, you can watch Witcher without ANY background knowledge! Just jump right into the show! That’s what I did lol, I’m only getting into the books and games because I started hyperfixating very strongly, lol. It’s not, like, a requirement, I just really enjoy them (and really any Witcher content lol), so I decided to get into them. But yeah, no background knowledge needed, if you wanna get into it!

That is very iconic of them lol, love that for them. I think I’ve heard of Stray Kids before? But I don’t know much K-pop, I really only know BTS because my younger sibling is really into their music (and I know more about them from you, of course, but I knew about BTS beforehand because of my sibling lol)

I looked up Felix, and yes he is very pretty! But it said “Australian Rapper” on google instead of his band name and that made me laugh lol. And that is very good of Chan!! They both sound very cool, and I hope one day you can hug them!!

Nice nice about the haircut, that is very cool!! What color are you gonna dye it, have you decided yet? I can’t remember what color you had before lol

The bouncy dance song sounds very cool!! I might look it up when I get to my earbuds, if I can remember to! Also, that is very soft and cute, also it’s a mood lol. Me with my friends, honestly. I miss my friends so much. How have you been doing in lockdown? I hope you’ve been doing okay!!

I love your infodumping every time, thank you for sharing with me! I love you too!! Thanks for brightening my day!! <3 <3 <3

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

[captiancap]

Man-eater

(this is more of a Prolouge I guess? know I said part 2 of I notice you was going to happen but ive also been wanting to shed some light on this particular boy so here you go pls forgive. TW: Arachnophobia)

Being a security guard means you've seen some odd things. It paid well and you didn't actually have to use the taser as much as you first thought, so you kept doing it. You got recommended to different places but never to far from home.

But seeing weird things was pretty normal. People making out in places they shouldn't be, people doing drugs in places they shouldn't be, people just generally being in places they shouldn't be. One time you actually managed to stop what you think was an attempted kidnapping in a warehouse.

That warehouse has always given you strange vibes even before that incident. It seems to attract all the weirdos, which made some sense because the guy who owned it was a big weirdo too.

Or well... Actually that's false. He wasn't a weirdo. A bit quiet, okay, very quiet, and an odd sense of fashion but he was always polite. Greeting you when you happened to cross paths and occasionally thanking you for keeping watch as well as you do.

You never bothered to ask his name. Why would you? Besides he was easy enough to point out to anyone who wanted to know for themselves.

He's a big guy. Very big. Towering over even your tallest coworkers at a good 7 feet tall at least. And as impolite as this may sound, he was fat, definitely. Dad bod on point, as the kids say. Lots of pitch black hair all over his body covering extremely pale skin , messy and unkept. But you could tell he was strong.

He has to be what with him constantly carrying large containers to and from the warehouse. You've offered to help a few times but he's always brushed you off. Simply saying it wasn't a problem for him.

Alright, whatever Mr. Strong Man.

That was all you really knew about him. He was polite, big, quiet, and could probably bench press two of you. It's not like you chatted with him everyday, infact he only came around about 3 times a month.

It's silly really but after awhile, around summer, you developed a bit of a crush on this mysterious man. You contemplated asking him out, if only just to get to know him more, but didn't want to seem like a creep. In all honesty it was probably very hard to creep him out.

One hot day while he was taking a break from un-loading a few of the usual large containers, you decided to make a move. If it could even be considered that. No dinner or movie offer but you did ask his name.

He turned his head to face in your direction, the dark hair covering his eyes swayed slightly. It felt like he was analyzing you. Like a highschooler analyzed a frog just before cutting it open to get to the real stuff. You waverd, thinking that maybe 'prosuing' him wasn't such a good idea.

"Mastiff." He replied. Russian accent thick, but not incomprehensible. You chuckled nervously and introduced yourself. "I already knew your name" He says. You ask him how that is, a bit confused.

He pauses, then smiles, the slightest twitch of the lips. He points to his own chest and says "Name tag."

You mentally face-palm so hard you get dizzy for a second. Laughing it off once again you apologize for being an idiot. The feeling of being picked apart by his eyes leaves and you two actually have a decent conversation till he finishes packing things away.

You've never seen him smile that much before.

You've made a habit of talking to him when you get the chance. He doesn't seem to mind and is actually very good at conversation. You find out he's a writer and that some of the containers hold large amounts of books he has already read. Not all of the containers though.

He shows up more often, almost once a week. It actually catches you off gaurd when he's the one to ask you for a date. Of course the little crush hadn't gone away but you forgot about actively going after him in favor of enjoying conversation. You agree and he asks when you would be free.

You set up a time and date and for a while its all you think about. You two were going to see some old movie at a drive in who's whole thing was 'the movies are crap but hey free fireworks!'. Mastiff said he went there once as a child and it had scared the Jesus out of him, not the movie, but the fireworks. It sounded exciting.

On that night you tried to dress nice but not over dress. The line between which was very blurred that evening. Mastiff had picked you up at the park a few blocks from where you lived. His car was black, much like everything else he seemed to own.

He looked very nice, or that might be the fact that's you've only seen him in dirty jeans and T-shirts. He had on a simple undershirt and cardigan as well as some actually clean jeans. All of which were, of course, black. Maybe it was a goth thing. He could definitely be a goth.

The conversation as always was enjoyable and relaxed. You learned that he had many siblings, the exact number never specified, and two fathers. Of course he inquired about your family and you told him what you were comfortable with for the time and place.

You arrived after another half hour and parked in the nearly deserted lot. A few kids were running around waiting for the movie to start. Mastiff sets up the blankets on the trunk and you take a seat.

You pat the space next to you but he shakes his head. He says he needed to stretch his legs for a bit. 15 minutes later he's still standing. You scoot across the trunk to be closer to him.

Halfway through the movie you start to hear him mumble when certain things happen. You try to hear what exactly he's saying but it's rough and forgien. Russian probably.

The movie ends and people start to move around and set up fireworks. Mastiff goes to the back seat, bringing back a pack of rainbow sparklers.

"I didn't want to bring anything too illegal." He jokes. He takes a lighter out of his pocket and hands you the sparkler just as the colors start to change. Funny, you didn't take him for a smoker.

You two go through the whole pack while watching people who did bring more illegal items shoot them off into the sky. You look over and see the colorful lights illuminate Mastiff's profile. He should wear color more often, it's nice on him.

He drops you off at your apartment building after it's well into the night. You attempt to give him a small kiss on the cheek but he's so damn tall. He notices your attempt and instead of just bending down to make it easier for you, he lifts you up by the waist and places a soft kiss on your jaw.

You're a bit surprised, flustered, as he sets you down gently. He smiles, "I had fun tonight, when would you be available again?" You stutter out that you would be getting a day off next week, which you have yet to actually ask for. "Perfect. May I see your phone?"

You hand him your phone and he puts his number in. "Call me with the details when you have them alright?" You agree and take your phone back. You say you're goodbyes, he drives off and you head into your apartment.

You scream into your pillow with excitement. Why are you like this? You're an adult, you've had tons of kisses. No one has ever lifted you as easily as he did before but that wasn't so bad.

You spend a few minutes debating if you should text him tonight. No, no, can't be to clingy, plus he's probably driving still. Can't endanger a possible future boyfriend.

Sleep doesn't come easy that night but when it finally does it isn't pleasent. You have a nightmare, a very vivid one. You're actually in Mastiff's warehouse, peeking around with a flashlight. You look at one of the larger containers in the room. You remember this container, Mastiff had said that it held something that used to belong to his father. Something scuttles across the floor.

You whip around and shine your light across the room. Empty. It's just you there. You turn back to the box and everything in your body is telling you to leave it alone and walk away. But you don't listen.

You un-latch the sides and open it.

Suddenly you are hit with the horrid smell of rotten, burned meat. You watch as millions of spiders crawl out of the container and cover the floor. They crawl up your legs and bite you mercilessly. You're forzen as the spiderlings make thier way up your arms and to your face. They dig at your eyes and crawl into your ears and nose. You suffocate.

You jolt from your sleep and make a loud gasping sound. You'll never take air for granted ever again. You lay there for a few minutes, the sun barely peeking in from your window, still feeling frozen but thankful for the lack of billions of legs and tiny teeth scampering across your body.

The horrifying dream began to fade as you started your morning routine. Your shift didn't start till later in the day so you had a few hours to kill. Once again you debated texting Mastiff but decided against it.

You made food and checked all your social media while lounging on the couch. When that got boring you called your boss to actually ask for the day off next week. She agreed rather easily, though the comment about how you've been looking stressed lately wasn't very appreciated. You felt fine.

You did. You swear.

Work was the same as usual. Mastiff didn't show up which was also normal. You found yourself glancing at his warehouse more than usual. You weren't permitted to enter anyone's personal storage but you kept inching closer to it's entrace without knowing.

You stopped yourself before you could open the door.

Next week rolled around and you had finally gathered the courage to text Mastiff. You learned he preffered to call, that's cool, you like listening to him. He told you he was a bit concerned that he scared you off after you not contacting him for a few days. You reassure him that you are in no way scared off and that you were just, once again, being an idiot.

You two arranged to meet at a nice local cafe that Thursday. Once again the line between dressed appropriately and over dressed was unclear to you, but you managed. You walked in and immediatly you saw him. Gosh he sticks out like a sore thumb in a place like this.

Black, as always, is the preferred hue. But he looked good and comfortable so you suppose that's what matters. You walked over and sat across from him. He smiled at you, which still felt odd to see.

"You look nice, what's the occasion?" He asked. You joked with him saying that you had a date with a really cute guy and wanted to make a good impression. He chuckled, "I'm sure he already thinks you're great."

You blushed.

It was a nice brunch. Excellent conversation as always. You didn't bring up the dream but you did tell him about that one secret hobby you're embarrassed to tell most people about. He thought it was charming. You blushed alot that day.

You noticed he didn't eat much yet still paid for everything. You told him you felt a bit guilty about that but he brushed it off.

"It's no problem. Really." He would tell you. You weren't so sure about that but he shut you up real fast with another gentle kiss. You swore that he would be the death of you and he laughed.

That's how it went for a long time. Dates happened more frequently, you learned more about him but not enough for him to lose that mysterious air that drew you too him in the first place. You shared embarrassing stories, him admitting that before taking it seriously that he used to write for smut magazines, and you confessed that incident in school where it was totally you who did it but you just kept your mouth shut and someone else got blamed.

You got close. Not -let's move in together and have babies- close, but close enough that you've spent a few nights at his house and vice versa. It was one of those Saturday mornings in his kitchen that he officially asked you to go steady with him.

It didn't take much convincing for you to say yes. You really liked Mastiff, and from the sounds of it he really liked you. Being able to call him your boyfriend was like iceing on the cake. And you called him that alot.

'Boyfriend' often took the place of his name in conversations. It annoyed him a little but you were having fun so he let you get away with it. He had his fair share of nicknames for you as well, some of the Russian ones weren't all that appropriate but he wouldn't tell you which ones.

It was comfortable. Very comfortable. For awhile. He hid it well, but not forever. It actually surprised you that he told you of his own accord more than what he told you.

He realized one night while eating that if he wanted to be serious with you that he needed to confess something. You got the call and headed over to his house right after your shift ended.

He didn't look... Guilty. He looked calm and stoic, like when you first met him. You took a seat at the dinning table and asked him what was wrong. He said nothing. He just leaned over the table and kissed you. That's when it hit.

A strong taste of iorn. Of blood. You reel back and see the small stream of red coming from his mouth. Of course you freak out and start asking if he's hurt. He shakes his head and tries to explain but as he opens his mouth you see long, bulbous blood stained fangs.

And you're frozen again. You're standing frozen in your boyfriend of 8 months kitchen, watching as he tries to explain that he isn't human all the while small streams of blood run down his jaw.

That's the first time you see him get close to crying. He doesn't actually but he gets close. His voice wavers and his hands shake only slightly. But he gets through it. He gets through his confession of being... Something you can't remember... And waits for your response.

You run.

What were you supposed to do? Stay? Hug him and tell him it's okay and you still love him? He most likely just ate someone.

You can't go back home so you stay with a friend for a few days. You're still in shock for the most part and she's kind enough not to ask questions. It's on the 4th day of this hiding out plan that he contacts you. It's a simple text just saying 'Please'. Your heart hurts a little when you read it.

You know he prefers to call, to hear your voice.

You type back 'what'.

You and him talk but it's mostly him trying to explain again. He asks to meet up, somewhere public so you can be comfortable, and you stare at the screen of your phone.

You take a deep breath, then write out your reply.

[lostinprocrastination]

So I just got home from Endgame and I got some things to say (spoilers ahead, tagged as such):

1. ALL THOSE FIERCE WOMEN HOLY SHIT THAT SCENE!!!!! Make a movie (or two, or ten) focused on Marvel heroines NOW pls!!!! (And get Lupita too when she isn't busy doing awesome stuff with Jordan Peele pls and thank you.)

2. Clint and Nat's friendship is so intense and pure I can't even take it

3. Incidentally, I liked that they didn't really retcon that awful Nat/Bruce nonsense, because that would have been even more ridiculous, but scaled it waaaaaaaaay back to put laser focus on her connection with Clint instead. I used to ship them back in the day and when it was revealed he had a wife and kids - who she actually knew and was friends with, if I remember correctly - I was kind of pissed, but it was so much better the way they did it... A depiction of true, incredibly committed and loving relationship without any hint of romance/sex sends a really powerful message. They are just wonderful.

4. Rest in peace, Nat, you beautiful soul. I love how she's platinum blonde right after the events of Infinity War, but then five years later she has long wavy hair with her natural red color and the tips are still blonde because she doesn't have time for hairstyling bullshit. It's those little details that made me appreciate the movie even more.

5. What sucks the most about Nat dying is that now we can be 100% sure that the Black Widow solo movie will be a prequel/origin story and at this point is it really necessary? I mean, I'll still watch it, but it should have been done YEARS ago.

6. Another detail I loved was how skinny Tony is in the very beginning when he's in the ship with Nebula and then when Carol gets them to Earth he's weak in a wheelchair with and IV. The hairstyle and makeup and probably graphics teams really nailed it in this movie.

7. Speaking of Tony, r.i.p. Mr. Stark. You really had a heart afterall.

8. Anytime an Avengers or Iron Man movie comes out I say this, but regardless of how you feel about Gwyneth Paltrow, you have to admit that Pepper Potts is a fucking goddess, and that her chemistry with RDJ is off the charts. (And he *was* Mr. Potts and NOT the other way around, wasn't he?)

9. I don't think Iron Woman movies would actually work, but I wouldn't object to seeing her as an actual Avenger in the next movies.

10. I think I was the only one in a cinema full of youths and elderly people, because even though the thought had obviously already crossed my mind I laughed out loud when Tony called Thor "Lebowski", and I'm not exaggerating, literally no-one seemed to have gotten the reference except me. WTF.

11. Oh, and I gotta say, if they ever do a Big Lebowski prequel (I hope they don't because these things rarely work, but Hollywood never seems to have original ideas so it's possible), it's Hemsworth for The Dude or don't even bother. Thor is ACTUALLY The Dude in this movie, and I love how he's still pretty fat when it ends and he makes Valkyrie Asgard's queen (which, you know, AWESOME). Another win for the makeup and hairstyle department on this one (I don't think they used CGI on Thor, to me it looked like Hemsworth was wearing a fat suit).

12. If only Natalie Portman would get off her high horse and be Jane again...well, there's still at least one opportunity.

13. Was that really Rene Russo (oh wait a second...) playing Frigga? Because if it was there was some serious CGI going in there. She looked younger than in the first two Thors...? Actually, younger than The Big Hemsworth tbh

14. If (As)Guardians of the Galaxy 3 is just Quill and Thor bickering while trying to find Gamora I'll be delighted. Get Taika to direct and Goldblum back somehow and I'll be in heaven. (Although isn't Gamora actually for realsies dead? Or because they prevented Thanos from getting the Soul Stone that was reversed?)

15. I was already upset that Evans was short-haired and beardless in this movie even though he was in full gorgeous glory in the couple of minutes he appeared in Wakanda in Infinity War and the post-credits scene in Captain Marvel. Did they really have to make me actually watch him shave though? Russo bros, you are terrible people who love to make me suffer.

16. What a GORGEOUS sendoff to Steve. I kept thinking he was gonna be killed, yet he came back an old man having spent his life with Peggy. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it, and left the cinema right after that last shot of them dancing in the 50s. Only a couple of minutes later I remembered there were supposed to be two post-credits scenes and I was already gone, so...if anyone cares to tell me what they were or have a link to videos of them I can watch, please hit my inbox!

17. Is Old Steve Joe Biden? I mean, the makeup was, again, very well-done, but geez, guys, be less obvious with the references lmao (also Steve would never be toutchy-feely, so, you know, no soup for you)

18. I'm gonna assume Carol's hairstyle is a reference to Annette Benning's in Captain Marvel.

19. Let's be VERY clear here: Thanos only managed to punch her because he used the Power Stone, because otherwise she would have kicked his sorry ass right then and there.

20. OF COURSE Steve was worthy of Thor's hammer, I mean, c'mon.

I'm sure I'll think of many other things after I post this, but for now that's what I have. SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

[lia-nikiforov]

Spring 2018 Anime Watchlist

THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME THIS SEASON I HAD TO BINGE 37 EPISODES IN THREE DAYS TO CATCH UP

Dropped

Mahou Shoujo Site: Although I originally intended to irony watch this one, expecting something like MahoIku or King’s Game, its sadistic reveling in the main character’s suffering was impossible to stomach. I felt physically ill at the end of it. I’m not, in principle, opposed to gory stuff, y’all know I sat through the whole stupidity that was King’s Game, but MahoSite doesn’t even reach the level of ridiculous over the topness to make it funny, it’s just a cascade of misery porn with not a single moment of levity or triumph for the heroine. I think I was done the moment that gratuitous “if you punch my stomach my period won’t come” line, because apparently some dudes get off on the idea of a woman being so brutalized she stops menstruating??????

Kakuriyo Yadomeshi: I was willing to give this one the three-episode trial after the first episode in spite of the godawful main love interest and the fact that the grandfather sold the MC into literal slavery wtf, because the main girl seems proactive and independent buuuuuuut fuck I hated episode 2. Not only does she seem to quickly forgive her grandfather for SELLING HER OFF, the men around her keep speaking over her and making decisions for her and she turns out to be just independent enough to not be a complete doormat, but not enough to appear defiant and I hate it. Thanks but no thanks, I ain’t here to see a romantization of being literally sold into an arranged marriage.

YOU THINK?!

Cutie Honey Universe: Before this, I’d had zero interaction with any other iteration of Cutie Honey, so I wasn’t sure of what to expect beyond knowing this was from the creator of Devilman. Certainly blatant homophobic jokes and jokes about physical abuse wasn’t in my list of thigs I expected to see, yet here we are. I ain’t here for “hyuk hyuk look at these fat/butch/ugly lesbians, aren’t they ridiculous” jokes either.

Butlers x Battlers: I completely forgot I watched this one. I don’t remember anything about it except being confused

GeGeGe no Kitaro: This one didn’t do anything wrong, but I was never gonna watch it. I just checked out episode 1 because I heard it made a dig at Logan Paul. I wish they’d gone all the way through and killed that character, but I guess you can’t have it all. It was actually a pretty decent episode, and in a weaker season I’d probably keep watching it, but there’s just too much stuff coming out. And I have watched previous Kitaro anime and it’s sometimes too meanspirited for me.

Uma Musume: I didn’t expect much from this show and was pleasantly surprised by the double-length first episode. Special Week was a nice, fun protagonist to root for and although the world-building was weird as heck, it was fun and positive. So I’m not exactly sure of what happened with episode 2/3 that it left me feeling completely dry. The pacing was super rushed, the characters all felt horribly flat, and the races weren’t super exciting because rather than any strategy or strong emotional realization, Special Week just has to start running even faster and faster in the final leg. It was also kind of implied she had gained weight? But then never brought up? And it’s not made very clear why she lost in the end? Was she supposed to learn humility and not getting too complacent? Seems too early for her to learn that when she’s supposed to be an underdog. I don’t know, it didn’t really work for me and I don’t feel like I care to watch more of it.

Because this post is long af and has a lot of gifs some folks were having trouble loading it on mobile, so you’ll have to read under the cut to know which are the shows I’m actually watching oops

Chopping Block: 

There is too much anime and I’m near the end of the semester so I’m gonna have to cut at least one -preferably two- of these shows

Sword Art Online Alternative: This was another one I intended to hatewatch? But rather than offensive or idiotic it’s so far been pretty boring. Episode one was a slog. The first half of episode two was a horrendous spectacle of hating your own body. The only think I liked was the friendship between LLENN and Pito (btw Pito meand ‘dick’ in Spanish and every time she says “call me Pito” I die). Then episode 3 was more boring exposition. FPS games are the least interesting I could think of, and I’ve never been into Let’s Play, so this show is hitting all the right notes to make me bored out of my mind. I also don’t appreciate the big dude not telling Llenn the plan and just kind of being condescending to her. If next episode is just 20 more minutes of the dude explaining things to Llenn, I’m out. (Also, Pito is 100% Elsa Kanzaki)

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Not feeling this reboot at all. It’s all very dry and just dudes expositioning strategy at each other. Also there are 30 characters in the Ending and only 2 of them are women???? I’ll give it one more episode, but tbh I’ve had problems even paying attention to 2 and 3, it just doesn’t grab me.

Libra of Nil Admirari: Although I like the heroine and she might be one of the strongest reverse harem heroines I’ve seen, the plot itself is very... eh. The guys are also very uninteresting so far. There’s also the fact that Tsumugi claims to have no interest in men or love, but this being a reverse harem with a bevy of men starved for her attention makes me worry this’ll end with her being “fixed” by an actual nice guy who is worthy of her or something. But the OP is very cute!

Hatewatch

Darling in the Franxx: Boy oh boy, the otaku have been creaming their pants and tearing their clothes off for the last three weeks, but “Don’t call it Fucking, It’s Making Love” in the Franxx’s greatest achievement in my eyes is going for idiotically offensive to just bland and clichéd. A recent AMA on reddit with the producer seems to imply that none of the themes of sex, gender and heterosexism that have been at the core of the show were even properly thought out, nor were their implications even remotely considered. I don’t know if the show’s heterosexism would be worse if it was active propaganda rather than what it seems to be: a bunch of ideas the producers thought would be “cool” and “titillating” with no particular meaning to them. Also we’re 15 episodes in and all we’ve achieved is Palurdo has finally tamed his beast waifu who is Not Like Other Girls. Oh, and I guess the monsters actually had humans in there, what a shocker, never seen that before, never expected such a clever twizzzzzzzz....

Mid Priority

Tokyo Ghoul: Re : I thought I was done with Tokyo Ghoul after trying to read the manga and being bored shitless by all the unnecessary exposition, but this one, while not quite excellent, managed to pique my interest. The conceit of Kaneki losing his memories and joining the Doves and helping in exterminating ghouls I’m super not interested in, but his encounter with Nishio has made me curious enough about what has happened with the rest of the characters to keep watching for now.

Rokuhodou Biyori: The iyashikei show of the season I guess. The guys’ personalities are a little bland, so I might bump it down to the chopping block, but it’s only been two episodes, so I want to give it a fair chance

Persona 5: My history with Persona has never been good. Episode 1 of P4 made me sleep, and I watched the first P3 movie THREE TIMES and never managed to parse wtf it was about. This show shares some of the same problems in making me struggle to pay attention, but at least so far the plot seems interesting, the visuals are creative and striking, and I really like the main character’s design. I’m also more inclined to keep watching because Sayokan directed the OP for the videogame.

Hisone to Masotan: There’s a cynical part of me that watches this show and feels like I’m watching a commercial for the JSDF. Yvan eht nioJ, come join us, we have cool dragons!!! I also don’t love the fact that the dragon turns into a plane :/ BUT the characters have a lot of heart, the dynamics so far between Hisone and Masotan and Hisone and Kanzaki have been very touching. A part of me though, wishes Hisone had stuck with Otofu because it’s such a cute name and she sounded really funny yelling “OTOFU!!!”

Safe Sequels

Although some of these sequels would go in higher categories, I was unsure about how to rank them -especially the 2-cour ones- compared to some of my top premieres of the season, so I’m just putting them all together because there are A LOT of sequels.

Yowapeda Glory Line: FINALLY SOMETHING POSITIVE HAPPENED FOR SOHOKU. I was starting to feel exhausted with all the gloominess, especially for seeing Teshima punished, HE DESERVES EVERY GOOD THING. Now we can get back on track and hopefully have a fun race without Teshima brooding all the way through the episode. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT TESHIAO CONTENT

Nanatsu no Taizai: FINALLY ESCANOR SHOWED UP. It’s felt like the first half of the show dragged a lot compared to the manga, so I’m happy we’ve reached one of the coolest parts. Though if memory serves, the rest of the season will be spent floundering around, but damn, the Escanor vs Galand battle is very satisfying to watch.

Lupin III Part V: So this time around they’ve added the social media factor into Lupin’s adventures, and so far the result has been quite interesting. I don’t have a lot to say, the artstyle looks closer to classic versions of the franchise and has lost some of the edge from part IV, but the comedy and Lupin’s plans are still creative and fun to watch, even adding a unique spin to the social media component, so I’m excited to see where they take this. But we need more Fujiko yesterday pls

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss: A soft reboot of this magical girl parody franchise, with frillier costumes and even more ridiculous attacks and transformations, and I’m here for it. I do wish we’d get at least some cameos from the original gang. I also feel that so far, apart from the Red guy (Kyotaro?) the others don’t seem to have much of a distinctive personality. It’s only episode three, so hopefully that’s something we’ll see developed as the show goes on.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s the same as it’s always been, a brilliantly dry workplace comedy. If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, you’re missing out on one of the best comedies of this decade.

Boku no Hero Academia 3: After the recap first episode, the series has gone back full gear ahead into the next story arc and so far it looks pretty cool. Although I’m never a fan of “regular MC activity gets interrupted by villains”. Idk why it bothers me a lot -a prime example being the S Class exam getting cut short in Fairy Tail and the concept of S Class mages completely ditched thereon after. But anyway, I have faith in the writing that they’ll make this villain interruption cool and worth it. I do however wish they’d let us meet the Class B guys better.

Steins;Gate 0: You know, I was 100% ready to be disappointed and abandon this one right away, but damn, damn have these first two episodes been brilliant. The nuances in Okabe’s characterization, the portrayal of his grief, and his more mature attitude seem like a mirror of the watcher who has grown all the same in the seven years since the show’s original season. I’m hoping the teases about Maho as a potential love interest are a red herring, but other than that, I’m blown away by how good it has been so far. Just delete Daru please.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card: Things have started happening! We’re starting to see that Akiho’s mysterious book is somehow having an effect over the events of Sakura’s life. The episode with the animals was particularly strong, with a new card that had a nice renovated design, and a really emotionally effective scene of Sakura and Syaoran embracing to help Sakura regain confidence to save her friends. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series so far, so hopefully we’ll have more of those and less of the “finding a card that only minimally makes 10 cm from a bookshelf disappear” type. As a sidenote, I find Akiho’s obsession with Sakura’s play a bit offputting.

High Priority

Mahou Shojo Ore: Given how little I knew about this series going in and how excited I was about it in spite of it, I’m pleased to report the show has lived up to my expectations in one way or another. The weird comedy is on point and also everyone is fucking gay. I’m rooting for you Blue Girl! Easily the superior show with Mahou Shoujo in its title.

Hinamatsuri: You know, I didn’t have super high expectations for this one, but it’s turned out to be a very nice surprise. It has that charming paternal relationship between Nitta and Hina that is cute and hilarious. I have to say I’m not super into the classmate-forced-to-become-a-bartender storyline and I’m not sure how that even fits with the rest of the show, so I hope there won’t be a lot of vignettes about it.

Piano no Mori: Wonky CGI and occassionally questionable character design choices (Ajino was so BEAUTIFUL in his youth, why does he look so ridiculous in the present?!!!) aside, this has been one of the strongest premieres of the season. I know fans of the manga have criticized it, but as someone unfamiliar with the original, I’m definitely intrigued by this story.

BESTEST

Megalobox: This one wasn’t on my radar at all. It’s one of those numerous cases of me seeing a title that sounds stupid and deciding to ignore the show based on that alone. I’m glad I stumbled on all the praise the premiere episode received because damn is it good. The story behind the cameras is that this is a 50th anniversary project for Ashita no Joe, and it was meant to be a reboot, but the director couldn’t find a way to make it work, so he created something entirely new, and aren’t we glad about that. It has a unique retro look and although the plot beats do call back to Ashita no Joe, our Joe feels like his own person alright. I think my only nitpick is that I’m not entirely sure of what is even the point of the additional gear. Also, I know how Ashita no Joe ends and I hope this show won’t end like that too :’D

Golden Kamuy: How long has it been since the last time a multi-awarded manga not only wasn’t disappointing but ended up being one of the most promising anime adaptations of the season? Yes, everyone’s seen the ugly CGI bear, moving on, this is a captivating and unique historical show with a so far excellent portrayal of Ainu culture and a kickass lady coprotagonist.  I am really excited to see where this one will go. Also, it was really exciting to hear characters actually speaking ainu language. I’ve done some research on Ainu history (and kickass Ainu women) for school, so I’m very pumped about this one.

Otaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: By far my favorite premiere of the season. So far, two episodes in, it’s all I ever hoped it would be and more. The characters are charming, Narumi and Hirotaka’s relationship feels natural and effortless -both the romantic aspect of it, and the way they easily become comfortable with one another-. Narumi is delightful and very well-rounded, being as cheerful and optimistic as she can be cynical, and her quick-developing friendship with Hanako is so violently relatable I was screaming. I really love this show. ALSO THE OP IS SUPER CUTE

I FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME

[the-trth-untold]

now its ur turn. do all of the sweetheart asks.

god jsjsjhdjk im just letting u kno these answers r gonna be BORING but hhhh THANK U 

1. Talk about your first love.

i’ve never been in love, never been in a relationship before. BUT i can vaguely remember my first crush back in 2nd grade. all i can remember was that his name was kyle and he was the only boy who ever spoke to me and my brain just went !!! 

2. What’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS or What Was Our Love All About - Adrian Milanio and Marylou Villegas 

these are just two that i can think of there are A LOT of beautiful songs

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

fine??

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

i dont really do any self care things?? 

5. What’s your skincare routine?

i dont do any skincare routines either... ik im a monster

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

u must be blind if u think that 

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

i used to have over 50 stuffed animals, i would always place them all over my bed neatly but i got rid of them now :( 

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

Myrtle Beach, SC because it was my first vacation spot and i was so happy seeing two dolphins close to the shore

9. Favorite thing about your room?

the color of my walls and blankets lol mint green and peach colors

i dont have anything cool in my room

10. Opinion on love?

i mean, it’d be nice to experience it some day and i hope i do but right now im content being by myself

11. Are you affectionate?

if i know you very well i can be, if not im very awkward and will barely make any eye contact with you

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to people who have struggled a lot in their life, people who can be optimistic in any situation

13. Favorite poet?

i dont read much poetry, but i loved reading some things Emily Dickinson has published

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

honestly any disney song makes me happy! im a huge disney nerd and listening to any of those songs makes me feel nostalgic.

when im in a bad place, any slow, ballad sounding song can calm me down

15. Do you play an instrument?

i played the flute in middle school but dropped it after less than a week LOL

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i like doing digital art but im not good at it and i dont have adobe illustrator anymore so i haven’t done anything recently

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i cannot dance and no one will make me

IM TOO EMBARRASSED EVEN IF IM ALONE HAHAHA

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra

i somewhat believe in astrology, i know there’s more to it than just your sun sign and there are different placements that make you different from the stereotypical traits people use for each sign

a lot of the “things about each sign” can be used for anyone because the responses can be very vague and many people can relate to 

19. Favorite old film?

too many

the shining, the breakfast club, carrie, pretty in pink, etcetcetc

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk its a mess

curly/wavy and i have hardcut bangs 

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

fall weather, where its like 50 F (or 10 C for all u weirdos out there), cold enough to put on a flannel and boots

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them. (IM SORRY THIS WAS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT ITS SO CUTE AND FUNNY AND I RELATE)

23. Are you in love right now?

no

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

i dont have a crush lol

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

yes!!! i have two gorgeous puppies!!! if u wanna check them out u can follow my instagram i post them all the time @ the.moon.atomic

they’re such dorks but they fit my household idk how to describe it they just belong in my house hahha

26. Do you have a lucky number?

i dont really believe in lucky numbers 

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

no, and i never heard about wishing on a fallen eyelash haha

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

no???????? i dont even know what that is

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

no

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

when people finally stop hiding their true selves, show their real smiles, and laugh so hard they snort 

idk i just love people, well, most anyway sjsjhzjdsk

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

love them 

theyre such pure colors and they just remind me of newborn babies hahaha

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano definitely

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

yes! yes to both! i love rain more though, sorry wind

34. Who makes you happy?

my friends, family, and my mutuals 

35. What makes you happy?

listening to music

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

ohh well i’d be living on germany for starters hahaha

id like to have my own house, maybe living with a best friend

definitely like 5784538902 cats and dogs, i love them 

at some point id like to have a relationship LOL

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup? 

only on rare days ill put on makeup, i only use eyeshadow, liner, and mascara and ive never gone to a store thats just for make up, i just go to a pharmacy lol

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

only if i absolutely have to, the dress i wore for my senior pictures is my favorite

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

noo, ive never been in a relationship 

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

i kinda really dont have one, not irl anyway

@neo-bangtan @mini-pretzel are my closest friends online, i love everything about u guys

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

im isfj

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

uh idk?? i wouldnt want to be immortal so 

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

acid jazz singer - the fratellis 

45. Parlez-vous français?

no my french sucks

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

honestly i cant think of any place pennsylvania sucks ahhaha

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

home...... my bed...... LOL

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

only if im not looking at myself lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

slip ons or my new balance 

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

N O i am so accident prone i can barely walk barefoot without tripping 

51. Do you feel loved?

kinda? sometimes?

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

just giving them a hug lol or saying i love you

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

no ones ever called me any but i like baby, im a simple girl 

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

nothing?

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

meeting new people who share the same interests 

56. Are you happy right now?

im pretty neutral atm

57. What makes you smile?

really awful jokes that ARENT EVEN FUNNY AND TALKING DASHA AND KARINA 

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i guess??

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

soft vibes i guess haha

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i dont see myself marrying but if i would it would definitely be for love

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

i dont really want to get married, most of the time it ends in divorce and theres just a lot of paper work and its a hassle i dont see a point in it 

62. Favorite flower?

hydrangeas 

63. Favorite artist?

edgar degas

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

i try to be kind to everyone, i dont know if others perceive me that way but i think kindness is very important to me

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

once and i loved it, pls ask me to make a playlist for u

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music and a soft blanket 

68. Early bird or night owl?

early bird

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed. (AGAIN THIS IS UR ANSWER DASHA BUT IM KEEPING IT HHAHAHAHA)

70. Night routine?

shower and watch netflix until i fall asleep

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

being humble

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

yes yes and yes

im such a cry baby i will cry at everything if u yell at me or if disappoint u im so sensitive 

73. Do you like hugs?

yes but i dont receive many hugs

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

never

75. Are you small or tall?

small, 5′4 or 164cm

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

who doesnt

77. Favorite thing about the past?

anything that makes me feel nostalgic 

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

yes

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

nooo

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

ive never been on a plane

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

82. The beach or a forest?

beach

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

when im sleeping lol

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

i try to 

85. Favorite kind of tree?

what kind of question is this i dont know anything about trees

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i want to but i dont do anything for it

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

fieldtrips in school

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

i try to read more, my favorite book is more happy than not 

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

disney, i just put my christmas tree down and the ornaments are disney characters

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

honesty i guess?

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

my eyes

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after i bathe 

93. Do you worry a lot?

yes all the time

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

no 

96. Favorite pastry?

??????????? i dont know??????????

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

YEAH

98. How’s your day/night going?

fine so far, i dont have to work today so im just chillaxing 

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow