#jack’s usually in creative mode probably

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

NSFT Alphabet: Frederick Kreiburg

I didn't realize I had a lot of feelings about him until writing this

Warnings: trauma

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Frederick is touch starved without actually knowing it. He knows he appreciates your affection and how you often give him attention with it, but to give it back is different. He does wipe you down, cleaning the mess between your legs and his after takes a second to gather himself. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hands, it is sad but probably the only thing of value he sees of himself physically. I know it overused “hands” but as a musician, it is all he has next to his ears. He likes your eyes, your eyes that watch him when he plays. Your eyes stare in wonder as he explains his pieces to you. Your eyes reflect himself and how they see him as him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He is not one for the mess, rather cum on you than in you to wipe it off but there are moments when he gets jealous that he will cum inside of you. He will make sure you feel it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Foot fetish and no it is not sucking toes. It is devotion, slipping your shoes off, massaging them, kissing the top of your foot up to your knee. It is a worship, his complete attention on you, to have you at ease. It is also a big submissive act for him.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not a lot. Frederick only slept with barely a handful and was not enjoyable for him. It was done because of his position as a wealthy musically talented man, he did what was expected of him— Nothing more.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Frederick is not creative so missionary usually or doggy style when he gets possessive-ish. Not creative.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Frederick is at first serious, too serious. It kinda is intimidating. You make him laugh, help him enjoy the moment and show it this doesn't have to be taken so seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Not much hair, and a little happy trail. He usually shaves it off, it is uncomfortable for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Frederick can be romantic. But again he is intense and focus; you gotta help him get out of that “automatic” mode.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't, just doesn't see the point or care for it. He has however enjoyed watching you masturbated

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Frederick is not a kinky person, he is vanilla (outside if foot festish). Maybe you can introduce him to some things, but you gotta respect that he might not do those things too. It could overwhelm him

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom, very private man.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your scent, meaningful conversation, and the debates you have with him about anything.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Voyeurism, Exhibitionist, he really can't do those

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Receiving, can give back but he likes sees you service him 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Average slow then building up to fast.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No. He refuses, do this properly or not at all.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

No risk, but will experiment with minor cross dressing. Nothing big, just little things that make him look sexy (lingerie or light makeup).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

One or two rounds. Foreplay helps.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No and yes. It makes him have mix feelings until you both try it on each other then he will okay it for special occasions.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

25% unfair. Teases but gives in easily. It depends on his mood though too. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Frederick hates that he is loud, he used to silence himself with others because his moans are loud and not “masculine groaning” enough. With you, he learned you enjoy it and became something he no longer had to hide with you. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Frederick, to me, seems like he was objectified. Being both talented, a man of status, and a Kreiburg; he had to do whatever was expected of man of that time. He has issues with his masculinity because he was both a man with power but yet used like a man with no power. He was heavily sought after by women and often pushed into having sex. It left him with body image issues and a level of disdain towards sex. He only offered it to you as a form of using it over you until you tell him your feelings for him are genuine. He stops having sex with you for a while, learning self love with you. Frederick needs it, he needs someone gentle but strong for him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average, sorry lol 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not high, it low actually 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Depends on if you tire him out lol tbh he sleeps easily and very well because he is safe with you

[accidentalshifter]

[March 13, 2024: Klaus Mikaelson claims he's in his "Red Period"]

⚜️ TW: My Mikaelsons are a ✨️ problem ✨️ and don't play nice at all. Death, sex, blood, violence, manipulation, and dark themes will probably be present. I don't condone any of the actions taken by these vampires, I'm just recording them. For science. Shifting Notes:

Unlike the long shift I wrote about previously, this one happened while I was asleep. It was kind of short, lasting (what felt like) five or ten minutes tops??? For those of you who are new to my DR or my blog, please feel free to explore my pinned post (on my blog) and read about my TVD/Originals DR for more context. Happy shifting, y'all! Astrological Timing: Sun in Pisces, Moon in the earliest degrees of Taurus. Venus just moved into Pisces on the 11th, giving extra ✨ energy ✨ to creative dreaming.

⚜️ Last night, I fell asleep in my bed watching an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved about Jack The Ripper with my favorite guys: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej. I'm not blaming it on watching cold case files before I went to sleep but it was probably watching cold case files on Youtube before I went to sleep that influenced this shift. ⚜️ I remember turning off Youtube in my CR and closing my eyes to sleep and then having to open my eyes again because I thought I had heard a sound that I didn't recognize in my room. When I did, I realized I wasn't in my tiny little room at all, but in a luxurious room with a huge Egyptian rug on the floor, crimson walls, and leather seatings. I could also see paintings (both finished and unfinished) positioned upon easel stands that were littered all around the room in a semi-circle. I knew instantly where I was. Klaus' painting room in the Mikaelson chateau in New Orleans. ⚜️ I'm currently in ghost-mode like I usually am when I'm stuck here. I'm laying with my feet hanging off the side of the armchair I'm sitting (chaotically) in. I can see the back of Klaus Mikaelson. He's wearing a black turtleneck, long sleeved shirt. Meticulously, he dips his paint brush into a bucket of dark crimson, and applies the red paint onto a fresh canvas. Jazz music drifts into the room from outside. The doors to the balcony are open, letting the ambiance New Orleans fill the painting room while he creates his new "masterpiece". ⚜️ Because at this point I've moved past being terrified of him and have now entered the stage of just being annoyed that I'm stuck with him, start to make obnoxious sounds while I sit in the armchair. Testing to see whether or not he can see me or if I really am just totally invisible to him (for now). He doesn't flinch or show any signs of being perturbed while I do this. Klaus dips his paint brush into another bucket now. It's the obsidian black paint. He swirls the black in with the red, his hand motions effortless. I gotta admit, folks. I'm a bit jealous of how he holds his paintbrush. ⚜️ Elijah Mikaelson storms into the room suddenly. He's bristled. A bit frustrated. I can tell that whatever has gone on for him, he's had a hell of a day, and isn't pleased about it. Elijah interrupts Niklaus and tries to get his attention but Klaus just redirects the conversation onto his painting. "I think I'm in my "Red Period", brother. Look at how well I've depicted the darkness swirled within the blood, the mortal attraction all beings have towards death." Klaus puts his hand on Elijah's shoulder as he gestures towards the painting. "This might be my best one yet..." ⚜️ Elijah and I have a similar reaction. He rolls his eyes and I say "Booooo! Bring back your sketches, dude!" out loud. Elijah fixes Klaus with a no-nonsense glare and says "I think we have bigger things to deal with right now, Niklaus. Accompany me to the reading room? I have something I need to show you as well..." ⚜️ Klaus huffs, putting down his paint brush, and follows Elijah out of the painting room. I get out of the armchair, walking over to stand in front of the painting that Klaus is working on. On second glance, the painting isn't half bad. There really IS something to the black and red swirl pattern he's going with here. It's almost...hypnotic. My left hand (the one I write with) absently reaches out to touch the painting and I wake back up in my CR again.

Observation: Jack the Ripper=Klaus Mikaelson shift motivation apparently????

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 29/2021) - Drista and the Second Shulker

For the first time since August, Dream streamed on the SMP! Or more specifically, with Drista taking over.  

And as usual when Drista visits, things get interesting: The server now has a second shulker box. Ranboo and Foolish make some negotiations over the ownership of it.

Hannah and Sam threaten to blow up the cat cafe where Niki, HBomb and Antfrost work, and Hannah gets officially hired as Sam’s bank manager.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Dream

Hannah

Connor

Ranboo

Captain Puffy

---

- Dream (with Drista) runs around on the SMP. He sees the new Nether Hub and then the giant Kinoko Kingdom poster and is surprised at how nice everything looks.

- They VC Ranboo and Dream/Drista start fighting an Enderman (”Ranboo”)

- The Enderman kills them and they respawn in the prison. L

- Dream fills Drista in on Ranboo and Tubbo’s marriage

- Dream teleports himself to Ranboo, who is outside next to Bee ’n’ Boo. This is definitely how he canonically gets out of prison

- Ranboo tells him to not blow up too many things and then leaves

- Dream explores the hotel

- Jack joins the came and comes to the hotel. Dream hides behind a wall.

- Quackity joins the call

- Jack finds him and welcomes him to his hotel

- Dream/Drista breaks the window and jumps out

- They go back up the hotel and teleport Quackity over

- Then they /kill Jack and /tp him back

- Then Jack gets banned (and unbanned)

- Jack points out that Dream should be in prison. Drista says no and gives Quackity creative mode for three seconds

- Quackity asks for creative back, they start hitting Dream to send him back to prison, then Jack gets banned again and Quackity tries to start an offline hype train

- Quackity gets /killed

- Quackity says to get Dream back to jail again. Drista doesn’t know what Dream did, so Quackity fills her in on the fact that he tortures Dream every day (he pulls out the shears)

- Drista /kills both of them

Quackity: “I don’t even know where my moral compass on stands right now, because you’re not reassuring me if the things I’m doing are right or wrong, so.”

Drista: “Well, you’re naked, so you’re doing something wrong.”

- Foolish comes over, Quackity and Jack leave. Dream says hi to Foolish and George joins the call

- Foolish tells Drista that he’s working on a mansion, and she looks homeless, so if she just gives him a shulker box…

- George gets /tp’d over and whispers to give him stuff

- George says he has nothing but a seed and a plank. Drista gives him a diamond, a piece of honeycomb, some dirt, two pieces of leather, a block of dried kelp

- Drista offers Foolish that she flips a coin. Either he loses everything on him, or gets a shulker box. If Foolish loses his things, George gets it all but isn’t allowed to give it back to Foolish

- Dream gets a coin and asks if Foolish is sure about this. Foolish agrees.

- Dream flips the coin.

- Foolish gets the shulker box!

It’s lime green.

- George wants to make a deal as well, 50/50. 

He’s got, from his Ender Chest, a trident, an enchanted golden apple, three mending books, Netherite boots, a Netherite shovel, gold, a whole stack of golden apples, emeralds, a Netherite ingot, a creeper head, a speed potion, several music discs and “Taco Bell” by Dream, the Fundy Finisher and the bathwater offered up 50/50 for maxed-out full Netherite with tools

- Dream agrees to the deal and flips the coin.

- George loses.

Dream: “He made a deal with the devil and he lost!”

- George runs away into Ninja’s house and stares sadly at the bed, then logs out

- Dream gives a little speech thanking everyone for 20 million subscribers!

- Hannah and Sam see the cat cafe and agree that it’s worse than George’s house. Sam hands Hannah some TNT

- Hannah tries to spare UwU from Sam’s wrath as he rigs the place with TNT and asks HBomb for permission to blow it up

- Hannah tries to rescue the other cats

- Niki logs on and Sam tries to frame Hannah

- Hbomb logs on too and the two destroy the TNT. He says as prison warden, Sam should be a better role model

- Hannah tries to convince them that it wasn’t her

- Sam suggests they blow up Hannah’s house

- Hannah tries to negotiate for a cut of the bank’s earnings. Sam says no. Hannah then asks if she could work at the bank. Sam agrees to employ her.

- Hannah asks for a wage but Sam doesn’t agree. He says he’s just giving her a place to work.

- Hannah asks for a manager position. Sam agrees to make her Bank Manager.

- They start chasing HBomb around. HBomb threatens the skeleton horses, then says that if anything happens to the cat cafe, Hannah’s house is going down. Sam says he would fire her.

- HBomb leaves and Sam and Hannah try to heal the skeleton horse

- Ranboo has a plan to fill a chest with emerald blocks.

- Foolish asks Ranboo to speak for a bit

- Foolish tells him that he needs to sell Ranboo the shulker box, and then have Ranboo permanently rent it out to him

- Foolish says he’ll give Ranboo two Netherite blocks for it. Whenever anyone asks who the owner is, the owner will be Ranboo. Foolish is worried.

- Foolish arrives at Ranboo’s house.

- They draft up a book of negotiations transferring ownership of the lime-green shulker box to Ranboo

- Ranboo points out that this will put him in danger, so the payment has to be substantial, for dealing with the amount of danger. He knows, because of the document, people might try and get him to hand it over when war starts to go around.

- He tells Foolish that he’s already very rich, and Foolish is already building a house for him.

Ranboo: “That’s the thing, Foolish, is that...what is worth security, you know? What is worth giving up a small potential sense of security in order to be able to be able to have your -- of course you -- have the shulker box and everything, and me being the fall guy for it, of course, ‘cause that means that I’m gonna have to get involved in stuff that I’m probably not gonna get involved in at all, that I probably wouldn’t have gotten involved with at all if I wanted to.”

- Ranboo points out all his riches

- Ranboo wants two things: one, to not quit the building project anymore.

- The second...

Ranboo: “When stuff happens on this server, people always...choose sides, they always try to figure out their own morality and everything, they try to figure out ‘oh, I should be on this side, I should be on that side.’ 

The one thing that I ask from you, Foolish, is that if that ever happens...if you are ever doing something in which there are clear-cut sides...it’s gonna basically be...let’s just say a war favor."

-  If something, not even necessarily involving Ranboo, happens, then Foolish has to do something for him, but it wouldn’t have to do with the shulker box.

- Foolish asks that it not be murder. Ranboo says it won’t be.

- It could even just be delivering a message for Ranboo where it would look bad if he delivered it himself. In any case, it wouldn’t put Foolish in danger.

- Foolish is glad that it would never involve killing somebody else. He can’t do that anymore, can’t go back to that path...

- Ranboo tells Foolish to take a break from the mansion if he needs.

- Ranboo writes in the contract that he is the rightful owner of the box, but agrees to rent out the shulker box indefinitely in exchange for favors agreed upon off the record. 

Ranboo: “Foolish, Foolish, Foolish, Foolish, Foolish...I am someone that -- I can’t be scammed, alright. But I have a way -- I have a sort of way to...be able to get my way most of the time based on, well, the ability of me speaking. So if somebody did come and try to get the shulker box...then...they’re gonna be giving me things and not even realize it.”

“I just know emotions, Foolish, and I know how to...deal with them.”

- Foolish reviews the terms

- Ranboo tells Foolish that there are certain things on the server that he cares deeply about, so...there may be a situation. But Foolish has his word that Foolish will have the shulker box in his possession. Just, if push comes to shove, Foolish may need to give it up, but Ranboo will return it.

- Ranboo signs the book, but Foolish gets to keep it

- Ranboo says in order for it to be a thing, they do have to also do a transfer of funds. Ranboo tells Foolish to grab something from his Ender Chest, anything.

- Ranboo throws Foolish the shulker and in return Foolish throws him lapis.

- Ranboo holds a grass block and says goodbye to Foolish at the door.

Foolish: “Sweet dreams -- if Endermen dream, I don’t know...”

- Foolish leaves and Ranboo returns to his goal of getting tons of emeralds.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[shinsouskitten]

Shinsou Hitoshi nsfw alphabet

damn kat back at it again with the thirst i hate myself 

Idk how I haven’t done a nsfw alphabet for my KING yet but I’m disappointed in myself for it

this post was mostly finished before the whole ‘this cold makes me feel like im dying’ thing so i just had to add a few and it was ready for publishing (bonus points if you can tell which ones were added in my cold-induced craziness)

Warnings: you know it, you love it, the thirsting of a lonely writer

---

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Shinsou is a king when it comes to aftercare. Hot baths, massages, cuddles, you name it. You mean the absolute world to him, and he’ll go out of his way to show that, both in and out of the bedroom

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Shinsou can be pretty self critical, but if you pushed for an answer he’d probably say his hair, cause he knows how much you like it. For his partner, horny Shinsou would immediately go for your neck (literally too). He loves how a single kiss can turn you into putty in his hands, and he’ll leave marks in places he knows you can’t hide just to prove to the world that you’re his

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you, on you, he doesn’t really mind. Whatever you prefer, he’s happy with. If you want to get messy, he’s more than happy to help, but if not he’ll keep you clean (ish). Although he’s unlikely to admit it, seeing you swallow his cum ignites a fire in Shinsou, and sets up quite a few more rounds so he can give you a reward for being so good

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Shinsou’s pretty open with what he wants, but when you first start getting intimate there’ll be a few things he doesn’t really want to say in case he scares you away (he could never, but he still worries). He wants to experiment, but he makes sure he knows your boundaries before he suggests anything too out there. The thing he keeps secret for the longest is the desire to wrap your neck in a beautiful collar emblazoned with his name, simply cause he doesn’t want you to think it’s weird

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He does his research, but hands on experience is pretty limited before you. It’s a learning curve, both of you learning what makes the other tick, what causes you the highest amount of pleasure, and what to steer clear of

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves to see you ride him. It gives you the power to control the tempo, but also gives him a beautiful view to tip him over the edge of ecstasy. More needy Shinsou (aka when he’s in hornball mode) likes doggy style, cause it means he can pull your hair or hold you up against him and kiss your neck

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

He’s not going to whip out a joke book in the middle of sex, but he’s also not going to act like an uptight secretary who’s only able to follow the rules (well, not unless you ask 👀) 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps himself trimmed, possibly even shaved. It’s no nonsense and means it’s also more enjoyable for you if you’re giving him head

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s an intimate guy, but he’s also not above teasing (though there’s another letter for that so I’ll keep on intimate for now). Like I mentioned in B, Shinsou can be pretty self critical, and sometimes he can get scared that you’ll leave him if he doesn’t prove how much he loves you, which to him means intimate sex and reassurance (aka, saying ‘I love you’ every two seconds)

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

He does it when needed. He’s not insanely horny, so chances are if he is you’re there to deal with him. But if you’re not, and he’s especially needy, he’ll most likely call you up for a little phone session. The thought of you is incredible, but being able to see and hear you is even better

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think we all know the phrase kitty, right? Well inference leads me to believe that Shinsou would be down for trying out pet play. And yes, as I mentioned before, he would 100% have a collar for you with his name on it. I don’t take criticism for that one

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

More traditional. Sex between the two of you means intimacy, so he’d prefer privacy. You have yet to find a surface in your house he hasn’t tried to fuck you on. That being said, your comfort is of the utmost importance to Shinsou, so if he’s going to fuck you over the kitchen counter, he’s going to make sure you feel comfortable while he does it. So yes, that means he’ll take pillows off the sofa’s just to make you comfy

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

You. Simple as. There are certain things that especially turn him on, such as you biting your lip or being extra attentive to him in what would seem like a normal scene to anyone else watching. Put your hand on his thigh when out at dinner and pay the price when you get home. Or maybe that was your plan all along

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

Shinsou never wants you to be in pain (well not unless you want to be in pain). He’ll leave hickies all over you, but that’s about as far as he’ll go with marking you. Maybe a spank here and there, but he won’t scar you or leave any marks that won’t be gone in a few days

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Shinsou prefers giving, but he’ll never say no to receiving either. He wants you to feel good, but if you decide to turn the tables he’s not going to deny you. Once you’re finished though, he’s repaying the favor tenfold. And just as a note, pull his hair when he goes down on you. He adores it

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes and yes. It all depends on the situation, his mood, the usual things. He’ll do whatever provides you with the most pleasure (while also allowing him to tease you)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

He doesn’t love them, but if they’re the only way to get some gratification then he’s willing (only if you are though). He’s careful about location, he doesn’t want someone walking in and ruining the whole thing, even if the risk of being caught makes everything a little more exciting. Chances are he won’t engage in quickies unless he’s been to the place at least once before (he wants to know which wall you’d look best pinned to). He has to feel slightly comfortable in the environment

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He’s down for a little risk, but nothing that would be too mortifying for you. If he’s going to screw you somewhere other than your home, he’s going to vet the place over a lot, and find the best place where you have the comfort of being private but the thrill of being caught if someone were to venture too close to your hideout

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

Freaking hell where does he get it from? Like, he just doesn’t stop. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Most of the rounds consist of him pleasing you, and he’ll only give in and finally fuck you when your throat is hoarse from begging, or when he feels the smallest amount of pity at the tears rolling down your face (did someone say crying kink)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Vibrating panties. I said he doesn't physically act on desires when in public, but touching a remote isn’t the same thing as touching you, so he makes an exception. He’s not insanely cruel. For him it’s more about teasing that mortification, so if someone senses something’s wrong, he turns off the remote until they give up. But the moment they’re gone, it’s back stronger than ever

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

*roblox oof sound effect*

Once Shinsou gains his confidence with you, he’s not going back. His teasing is often coupled with praise, telling you how good you’re being for him while he denies you pure bliss again and again. He’ll edge you to hell and back if you give him the chance, but don’t worry, it’s worth it in the end

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

Small moans and louder grunts are the main sounds coming from Shinsou when he’s enjoying himself. He swears a lot, and it’s always easy to tell how close he is to the edge by how creative his swears become. As for his partner, he wants to know how well he’s doing. He wants to hear you whine and beg while he edges you, and the pornstar-like moans that fill the air when he finally gives in and gives you what you really want

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

You think I forgot about his quirk. Ha, I could never. I said in my hcs that it takes a while for Shinsou to integrate quirk use into sex. As much as you assure him you’re in full trust, he’s anxious about the inability to say no when he has you under his control. The longer you’re together the more willing he is, but even when he does use it it’s usually a way to make edging even more dangerous, with you unable to resist his words when he tells you you’re not allowed to cum just yet

Okay maybe we have 2 wild cards this time cause I also wanna mention his capture weapon. Again, it’ll take a while for it to be available in a less-than-pg manner, but he’s more willing to use his capture weapon than his quirk. Main reason being, you can still use a safeword when tied up. But tying up goes both ways, so even if he prefers to be the one giving the pleasure, he’d never deny your wishes

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

I’m trying not to be biased cause I love him so much but I feel like Shinsou’s kinda packing. A good 8.5-9 inches (no, I won’t take criticism) and on the skinnier side. But the amount of attention he gives you before his pants are even off means taking him is never difficult

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not the highest, but when you’re around it increases significantly. He’s not going to fuck you every time he sees you (I mean, he thinks about it) but he also isn’t a nun. It’s a good level, cause most days you can walk, and then on the weekends you’re a little bedridden

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a bit of an insomniac, so screwing the energy out of him is one of the best ways to get Shinsou tired enough to sleep. He likes to hold you, so once he’s satisfied with the aftercare, he’ll crawl in bed for cuddles until the both of you pass out

[beebubb]

video games the pastas like

Jeff the killer: probably likes assassins creed, call of duty and halo

Ben drowned: likes the typical COD but fucking loves minecraft. He has beat the game more than twice so he sometimes just likes to relax and decorate his house and build a base or farm

Jane: probably doesn't play much sense she has no experience using a console. But would probably like to play stardew Valley and get married with one of the girl characters on there

Nina: likes playing minecraft but only in creative mode to make a pretty house and decorate it. She has never beat the actual game. She also likes to play animal crossing.

Toby: likes playing Mario kart for the rainbow road. Plays among us as well and actually tries his best to win when he's an imposter (also cause he likes to piss off ben and jeff when he kills them)

Masky: isn't very fond of video games much. Probably prefers to play card games and poker. Maybe he would play online poker but usually prefers the real thing.

Amelie: isn't very fond of games either and just like masky, prefers actual real games. Likes to play chess and poker as well, but chess is her preference (never plays with slenderman sense he sometimes cheats by using his mind reading powers)

Sherlin: likes minecraft, animal crossing, stardew valley, and mortal kombat. She likes mortal kombat for the fatalities and brutalities,but that's the only game she probably plays that actually has action sense she feels under pressure while playing games like COD. Spends hours on minecraft and animals crossing to decorate her house

Hoodie: just likes to play card games and poker with masky.

LJ: isn't very fond of video games but sometimes plays COD with will

Eyeless jack: says he doesn't like games but low key likes surgeon simulator

Will Grossman: likes COD, mortal kombat, and grand theft auto (he specially likes GTA because it makes him feel "gangster and badass")

Amari: likes grand theft auto, overwatch, and super smash bros (will was the one that got her into games)

Damien: prefers chess

Clockwork: plays Mario kart with Toby sense she sometimes likes to see him get pissed when he falls off the rainbow road

Slenderman: doesn't like video games and prefers games likes chess and poker. (uses his powers sometimes to mess with video games when no one pays attention to him)

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

I held you close as we both shook

(Disclaimer this is the first fic I’ve ever written and I wrote it in a rush of emotions after the new episode)

-

-

Roman manages to hold himself together until after he sinks out. But the moment he rises up into the mind palace, he breaks down. 

Virgil has been sitting on the couch for a few hours. He’s vaguely aware that the others are off talking to Thomas, but he’s too engrossed in Tumblr to care about missing out. Remus has walked by occasionally, making crude comments, but if there’s one thing Virgil’s good at, it’s blocking Remus out. All in all, Virgil’s doing pretty well. A little alone time can do wonders for anxiety. 

There’s the signature noise of a side returning to the mind palace, and Virgil’s head pops up from his phone. So much for his alone time. Upon seeing the top of Roman’s head begin to appear, Virgil bites back a smile. He would never admit it out loud, but Roman makes him inexplicably happy. Remus once told him- back when they talked to each other- that that is called “a crush! your feelings are horny! you want my brother to-” (this is where Virgil cut him off). So naturally, Virgil is a bit excited to see Roman return. 

Before the purple side can even open his mouth to say hello, however, Roman starts crying. Startled, Virgil stays quiet. He watches as Roman, usually cheerful and confident, crumples to the floor in front of the tv and let out silent sobs. Roman mutters to himself, but Virgil is unable to hear him fully. He does catch snippets of useless, pathetic, and despicable, though. Virgil is so shocked at the scene that he forgets to say anything. After a few minutes, he finds his voice again and manages a weak “...Ro?” 

Roman’s head shoots up. He immediately starts wiping tears from his eyes, plastering on the fakest smile Virgil has ever seen.

“Oh, hey there Jack Smellington, I didn’t see you there.”

Virgil tentatively moves off the couch towards where Roman sits. “Roman, what on earth happened?”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine. You’re just anxious. Well of course you’re anxious, you’re anxiety! My point being, Hot Topic, nothing is wrong-”

“Ro, I saw you crying.” 

Roman’s face falls. “Ah. You did. Well, please don’t feel the need to help me. Or pity me. Or anything of the such. I promise I’m fine, I just…” He trails off, and Virgil sees tears glistening in his eyes, watches him bite his shaking lower lip. “I just… he just…”

“He?” Virgil still has no idea what’s happening.

Apparently this nameless ‘he’ holds a lot of emotion for the creative side right now, because Roman starts crying again.

“I-I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.” Roman sniffles. “Feel free to hate me. Everyone else does.”

With those two sentences, Virgil can feel his heart break. 

“Ro… no one hates you.”

“Really?! Janus didn’t seem to be a big fan of me.”

Virgil’s blood runs cold. He hasn’t heard that name for years, since he stopped hanging out with the dark sides. “Janus? Deceit told you his name?”

“Yep. And everyone loves him now. He’s Thomas’ new best pal. His new hero. He doesn’t need me anymore.”

Virgil clenches his fist. “Roman, I need you to tell me what happened as well as you can. Last I checked, we all hated De-Janus. What changed?”

Roman takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Well, Patton and I were debating how much Thomas needs to be selfless, and what the right reasons are for being selfless, and if there are right reasons, and so on. Patton got super confused and just… flipped out. Went full on frog mode. And by that I mean he literally turned into a giant frog. With abs. It was quite the sight. So then Janus shows up and is… he’s helping Thomas. And he’s going on and on about how self care is important and your mental health is a priority. And everyone believes him! Even though he is literally Deceit! So I’m trying to make a point about how he’s evil, we’ve determined he’s evil, and he’s telling us to go back on everything we’ve learned, but they all sided with him. And since I’m saying we can’t trust him, he decides now is the perfect time to make a big show of revealing his name. And yeah, maybe I laughed at it. But I was angry! And it’s a stupid name, anyways.”

Virgil takes this moment to interject. “It is. He sounds like a middle-school librarian.” Roman stares at him, an emotion in his eyes that Virgil can’t decipher. He decides that he doesn’t like the intensity in Roman’s gaze so he urges him to continue speaking.

“Upon me making a lighthearted joke, Janus com… he…” Roman breaks down crying again.

“What? What did he do?” Virgil realizes he probably shouldn’t be forcing Roman to talk about things he doesn’t want to, but he’s too blinded by his rage at Janus to think clearly. Roman doesn’t answer, and Virgil gently puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“Roman? What did he do?”

The prince mutters something that Virgil can’t hear. “What was that?” 

Roman jerks his head up from his lap. “HE COMPARED ME TO HIM!” He yells, startling Virgil. “He… he compared me to my brother. He said, and I quote, ‘Oh Roman, thank god you don’t have a mustache, otherwise between you and Remus I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is’.” Roman stares at the wall straight ahead, blinking back tears.

“...oh.” Virgil breathes.

Roman lets out a sad chuckle. “Oh.”

“Ro, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Don’t.” Roman says. “I’m done pretending I’m the hero. You and Logan, my brother and Janus, even Patton and Thomas have made it abundantly clear I’m far from it. Thomas let me be in control for far too long and it’s clear I shouldn’t be. When Deceit, the literal embodiment of lies, is trusted over me, that shows just how useless I really am. And… he’s right. Remus and I… we are similar. And I hate it. God, Virgil, I hate it so much. He’s everything I don’t want to be, and yet the only difference between us is a stupid mustache. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve to be here. I’ve done nothing but hurt Thomas. And hell, even if he can’t live without Creativity… he’s got another one right there waiting for him.” 

Virgil doesn’t know when he started, but now he’s crying too. It hurts so much to see Roman like this. Roman, the brave side. Roman, the side who’s always there to lighten the situation. Roman, the side who’s clever nicknames make Virgil’s heart flutter. Roman, who Virgil has never seen sad, let alone like this. Roman, who Virgil loves.

He doesn’t know what to say. But he knows from his own experience with panic attacks that maybe Roman doesn’t want him to say anything. So he wordlessly puts his arm around the other side. Roman, still sobbing, lowers his head into Virgil’s lap. If someone had told Virgil an hour ago that Roman would be sitting with his head in his lap, Virgil (well he wouldn’t have believed them) but if he did, he would have been excited. But now he wishes more than anything that this wasn’t the situation.

Roman’s cries continue, still silent, but wracking his whole body with shuddering sobs. Virgil tries and fails to hold back his own tears while he gently runs his hand through Roman’s hair. 

After a good ten minutes of them sitting like that, Roman has fallen still. He’s still crying, but he’s sort of just numb now. 

“Ro?” Virgil asks hesitantly. “Can I say something?”

“Sure.” Roman’s reply is quiet, whispered into Virgil’s lap. 

Virgil gulps, unsure where to start. “You… you are incredible. You’re passionate, you’re smart, you’re insanely talented, you’re brave, and you are so kind. And I am so sorry for anything I have ever said or done to make you think differently. I know our relationship started off bad, to say the least, but we’ve grown so much since them, and I really truly care about you. And I know everyone else does too. Patton loves you more than anything, Logan likes you the same amount Logan likes everyone, which… it’s uncertain at times what that amount is, but I promise he loves you. Thomas couldn’t live without you. I mean, just imagine what Thomas would be like if his only creative thoughts came from Remus. It would be a nightmare! And speaking of your brother… you are nothing like him. I promise. I spent twenty-something years with him and you are so vastly different. And even if you were like him, he’s not all that bad. And he cares about you too, more than he cares about any of the rest of us. He never shuts up about you. He wants to be as good as you. Because you are a hero. ” That’s about all Virgil can muster before he breaks down too.

Roman is sitting up now, staring into Virgil’s eyes. “Do you mean all that?”

“Roman, I would never lie to you.” Virgil puts his hands on Roman’s shoulders. “So believe me when I say that I wouldn’t be able to live without you.” 

Roman laughs sadly. “That’s not true.”

Virgil speaks in a voice more serious than he’s ever spoken in before. “No. It is. You keep me in check, you help me feel like I have a purpose for Thomas, and you’re…” Virgil finds himself getting lost in Roman’s green eyes. “You’re… god, Roman, you’re fucking amazing. I love you. So much.” Virgil isn’t sure if Roman is going to interpret this in a romantic way or not, but either way, he knows it’s what the other side needs to hear right now.

Roman pauses, tears still silently streaming down his cheeks. 

And then he kisses Virgil.

It’s a soft kiss, barely touching, but it’s there. As much as he wants to, Virgil doesn’t kiss back. That’s not what either of them need right now. But either way, Virgil’s heart races. 

Roman pulls back almost as quickly as he leaned in. 

“Thank you Virgil.” He smiles at him. 

Virgil has seen Roman smile before. Many times. Often they are wide smiles. Huge smiles laced with laughter, usually in response to some stupid thing someone else said. But in this moment, Virgil feels like he’s never seen Roman smile. Because none of those countless smiles he’s seen before were anything like this. This small smile, lighting up his tearstained face, barely even noticeable as a smile, is the most genuine thing Virgil has ever seen in his life. 

Roman glances down, then back up at Virgil. 

“I think I’ll stick around.”

Virgil smiles now too, tears shimmering in his purple eyes. 

“Glad to hear it.”

[crimeboyultimate]

If any of yall remember The Haunted/The Haunting (minecraft herobrine rp series) I’d like to bring to your consideration:

c!Ranboo and c!Drake are related.

So this might just be me combining hyperfixations and it’s definitely not canon or ever going to be but I love The Haunted so I’m going to ramble anyways.

1: They’re both half Enderman

Kind of an odd point to start on considering hybrids/nonhumans are pretty common within the DSMP, but it’s been established that Ranboo is the only enderman hybrid on the server, and Drake has a similar situation within The Haunted. Of course, Drake is part enderman because he was originally human but his soul latched onto the body of an enderman and used it as a host body, transforming it in the process, but we have no evidence that this couldn’t be passed on genetically. To add to this, we have clear evidence that other races of nonhumans exist within The Haunting’s universe due to the existence of an elf character.

2: Both have amnesia/memory loss

Memory problems aren’t always genetic, but they definitely can be. Of course, both could have memory loss due to trauma, or in Drake’s case because of Herobrine, but it is a noteable similarity. Also, because of this we know very little about Ranboo’s past or backstory.

3: Both have “magic” abilities

The Dream SMP has very few characters with genuine magical abilities. Dream XD is canonically a god due to creative mode, and Drista does whatever she wants, but other than that there’s very few characters with magic (unless we’re counting Jack Manifold crawling out of hell because he’s just too pissed to remain dead but he’s an outlier and should not be counted).

One character that’s shown to have genuine magic abilities, or at least magic to this server, is Ranboo. He’s been shown to be able to pick up spawners, an action that is unique to him within the server, which is described as a “main character” moment by several other characters he interacts with, implying that this is seen as magic or at least highly unusual. He’s also been shown to be able to look at enderman without them attacking him, as well as being able to talk to them.

Magic is also somewhat rare within the world of The Haunted. When Drake is in our modern time, which is heavily implied to be the past within the timeline, there’s no mention of magic whatsoever. When he and the others travel through time to what appears to be the past (later implied to be the far-off future), magic is displayed as being rare and powerful, but it definitely exists and becomes a major plot point within the series as time goes on. Drake in particular has the ability to teleport, another trait associated with endermen. Spawners were never used within The Haunted, so it’s entirely possible that Drake could have been able to pick up a spawner if he had been exposed to one.

4: Parallels between Ranboo’s enderwalk and Drake’s (partial) possession by Herobrine

Ranboo’s enderwalk state is shown to be a completely separate entity from him normally. He speaks rarely, picks up and places blocks similarly to endermen, and is much more impressionable by Dream. As well as this, normal Ranboo often has hallucinations of antagonistic figures in his life. Drake’s possession is uncannily similar, or at least implied to be. Armin, who carries the majority of Herobrine throughout The Haunted, is an entirely separate person from Herobrine Armin. In his nonlucid state he is quite similar to enderwalk Ranboo. He doesn’t speak, and acts on the base instinct and influence of Herobrine, much like Ranboo acts on his enderman instincts and Dream’s influence. Drake, though never shown in a state where Herobrine is controlling his body, also has hallucinations/visions, similar to Ranboo.

5: Complete lack of coherent timeline in The Haunted

Any longtime fans of The Haunted know that the timeline is quite messed up and incoherent at times, probably because the series was made over the course of several years and the ideas that the creators had for it changed over this long period of time. However, I’m ignoring any reasonable explanations because I want to, because I’m completely separating author from fiction, and because it’s one of my favorite parts of the entire series.

The DreamSMP also has an incoherent timeline, partly because of real to minecraft time conversions, and partly because of Karl’s lore streams. Because of this, I’m saying whatever I want and you can’t stop me.

The Haunted begins in what is assumed to be our modern time, due to similarities in technology, language, and culture. However, the characters are transported to a setting that is seemingly in the past, though later heavily implied (and possibly confirmed?) to be in the far future. This proves that time travel is completely possible within the world of The Haunted. Due to Karl, time travel is also confirmed to be possible within the DSMP. Therefore, it’s entirely possible that Drake and Ranboo could be related, if not from their usual times then from timeline shenanigans.

6: Post-apocalyptic settings

The Haunted, due to the past (our present) being shown as being in ruins, can easily be called post-apocalyptic, especially when one considers the archaeologic discoveries of depictions of a figure heavily implied(pretty much confirmed) to be Herobrine destroying “modern” civilization, which were found within an underground labyrinth in the second to last season (not counting the reboot, stop fixing the timeline >:(). The DreamSMP could also be seen as post-apocalyptic, due to references to modern society within a world that has clearly not developed past our world’s early 20th century/late 19th century. Also, Mizu is clearly post-something, with the DSMP’s destruction and a decay of the world’s history.

7: Ranbob and Grayson’s unnamed dead kids exist

Grayson was confirmed to have been married and had children in the 5 years that Drake and Grayson were canonically apart within The Haunting, and Drake never was shown to not have kids, so even if it’s unlikely due to his avoidance of any cities or large gatherings of people it’s not impossible. Also, he could have had children before he was teleported away from his original spot on the timeline, though this is unlikely.

As well as this, Ranbob exists. Ranboo definitely had kids, so technically if Ranboo isn’t Drake’s decendant it could definitely be the other way around.

8: Death of the author

Ranboo if you are reading this I want you to know that unless you explicitly state within the DSMP that your character isn’t related to Drake then there’s literally nothing that can definitively prove otherwise. As an author, once you put out your media you are dead to it and cannot further influence it. Also, I really doubt that the dudes behind The Haunting would see this or care so it’s really up to Ranboo in this situation.

-

Hope yall enjoyed, especially since I wrote this instead of finishing my English homework. Please agree/reblog? Please?

[eventidedaydreamer]

What is everybody's strengths and weaknesses in your Bendy Au?

:) oh >:) okay

Joey Drew: 

Strengths 

he knows a lot of things, 

Intelligence

he can be very charming and can win people over easily, 

he’s the kind of person that you immediately like when you meet him, 

he knows how to leave a good impression.

If you actually get to know him he can be very bubbly and excitable.

Weaknesses 

he can’t read people, 

he’s brain smart but he isn’t emotionally smart, 

he doesn’t get it when someone shows emotions in a way he isn’t familiar with. 

He lashes out when he’s reminded of unpleasant things.

He knows how to turn everyone into ink creatures through sacrifice but he doesn’t stop to think if he should.

His coping mechanisms are not very healthy

Jealousy, clingy, its hard for him to consider that people can have more than one friend

Henry Stein:

Strengths 

He’s very tough (have you seen how much he falls?? and he’s OLD) 

Probably broke some bones when he was a kid so now he has stronger bones. 

He can handle a LOT of pain, 

he’s cool under stress and pressure, 

he’s a hard worker and a very talented artist.

He has a good memory

Weaknesses 

He has trouble expressing himself 

He’s a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no (something he’s worked on and is better about after he met his wife), 

He underreacts to things and overthinks a lot (overthinking is another thing he got better with after he met Linda)

Wally Franks:

Strengths 

One of the FRIENDLIEST people you will ever meet, 

and hes really really funny

He somehow knows everyone’s name even if he only met them once three years ago, 

It’s like he’s living life at a different speed because it seems like he spent the whole day with you but he also had time to see ten other people the same day?? 

He seems innocent and as if his perfect bubble of the world would pop if you mentioned something upsetting but the reality is he’ll listen to anything you need to get out and then give really good advice followed up with his usual humor.

He trusts that there is good in everyone and gives people second chances

Weaknesses 

He does really stupid things a lot

He’ll connect pipes wrong, resulting in later damage and messes

He’s always getting himself hurt, jumping too many stairs at once, making someone really angry and running for his life (Sammy’s the main one that’ll actually chase him down)

It’s like he has no sense of self-preservation 

(HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!)

He is really trusting and some people take advantage of that

He opens himself up to everyone and forgives a little too easily

Sammy Lawrence:

Strengths

He knows how to stick up for himself and others

Hardworking

He is damn good at his job and won’t let you forget it

Sarcastic

Honest

Mature

He can hear the music as he’s writing it, feel it in his head when he sees sheet music

Very independent 

If he considers you a friend, he will go to extremes to get back at anyone that hurts you (Just ask Jack, he’s been friends with him the longest!)

It is unknown how many instruments Sammy can play, the band make guesses all the time and Jack is asked on a weekly basis but refuses to comment

its an ongoing discussion 

Determination, he’s the only one that will actually chase Wally til he catches him

Weaknesses

He’s angry almost constantly

The glass is half empty

Doesn’t hold back snide remarks (but if the remark is about music in some way you better listen there’s advice hidden somewhere)

Yelling, but it’s mostly just a very loud “WALLY FRANKS!” followed by running footsteps and Wally’s giddy laughter

I N S O M N I A C

constantly has bags under his eyes

A Perfectionist, Only the best can come from the office of Sammy Lawrence even if he forgets to eat while doing so

yeah thats another thing, he forgets about things like eating, sleeping, ya know, human things

He’s intimidating, the string of constant negativity doesn’t make many friends

Workaholic 

He’s become dependent on the few friends he has to break him out of his  work until its done mode and remind him to eat and sleep (Jack, Wally, Norman and Susie a little.)

because :) it would be a shame :) if one of them :)  went missing :) huh?

Susie Campbell:

Strengths

Hopeful and optimistic

Friendly

She has a really pretty face, shes really pretty in general

she gets a lot of attention because of it

shes tougher than she looks and uses it to her advantage

she is really clever

Flirty and a romantic 

an exciting storyteller, she can make a trip to the refrigerator sound interesting

Weaknesses

Possessive

she wants to hear all the gossip until its about her

is really jealous of the smallest things

she may seem like a little innocent flower but she’s the thorniest rose in the garden and you are growing a little too close to her

Alice Angel means everything to her, its the best way to distract her from anything else :)

the second best way is to mention her star-shaped birthmark/freckle

Norman Polk:

Strengths

Observant 

He’s very good at guessing things correctly

He seems to know something about everything and everyone

A really great listener

He also just has good hearing in general, easily eavesdrops 

Physically strong, he can lift anyone with ease

Wise and careful

he has some pretty sound advice in him if you ask for any

has a very good control on his temper and is calm and cool even in heated arguments or dangerous situations

a good people reader

is very understanding

Weaknesses

He’s scary, just how he likes it

People get the wrong ideas about him (He’s just sitting there! Is he watching me?)

to be fair, he might be

He doesn’t attempt to get to know people unless he sees a reason to

gets into other peoples business 

He’s always lookin’ for trouble

too curious for his own good

doesn’t talk about his feelings

Jack Fain:

Strengths

He’s so good at rhyming that he does it subconsciously on a regular basis

Creative

Empathetic

He’s not afraid to show emotion

Forgiving

Generosity

Gentle and soft

Humble

Patient

Selfless

Weaknesses

He can be really emotional a lot of the time

He spaces out a lot

he can seem like a crybaby

Doesn’t take credit for things he should

Lies about how he really feels to make other people comfortable, he doesn’t want to be a bother

puts himself down to make other people look better

Really shy

doesn’t stick up for himself

too passive

worries a lot

Johnny:

Strengths

He really loves his job

He’s a romantic at heart

very sweet and considerate

Loyal and devoted

Sees the best in people

Weaknesses

He falls in love way too easily

ignores flaws even when they’re concerning

can easily become an emotional mess

fears being rejected more than anything else (bro just love him he’s too sweet)

Shawn Flynn:

Strengths

He’ll tell someone off when they’ve done something wrong

believes in karma and justice

likes sewing while he’s talking/doing something else

really good at multitasking

Luck of the Irish

like he misses getting injured by mere inches

this makes him the perfect Go and Do Something Stupid companion with Wally

He’s really proud of his heritage and his work

Weaknesses

Shouts a lot

He can be too prideful and overconfident

isn’t into mercy or forgiveness 

can and will turn anything into a rivalry if its the last thing he does!!

the downside to being his friend is that its dangerous to hug him because he puts needles through his clothes so he can find them later

he says its built in protection

and Wally says ow

Thomas Connor:

Strengths

He’s been good with anything technical since he was little and only got better at it with age 

Honorable

Hardworking

Mature

Weaknesses

He believes in a one strike and you’re out ideal, leaving him to not trust some genuinely nice people (but he also doesn’t trust some questionable people so he sees it as justifiable)

Reserved, doesn’t attempt to get to know anyone

he can work too hard

Pessimistic

Allison Pendle:

Strengths

Boy can she give an inspirational speech

She’s very generous

Brave 

Levelheaded

She’s a lot stronger than she looks

you should hear her belt out a song

Weaknesses

prefers to fix other peoples problems rather than deal with her own

she’s really competitive 

she gets herself hurt a lot

can be a little too fierce

Grant Cohen:

Strengths

Math, he’s good at math

he was like yeah i can do numbers I’ll be an accountant! (bro im sorry u got Joey as a boss)

He’s a good singer (which seems random unless you know)

Weaknesses

A N X I E T Y

really cannot talk to anyone

his words get all jumbled up

if he had the internet he’d constantly be searching things like, how to explain to your boss that his decisions are putting the company in dept? how do you stand up to your boss?

has bad panic attacks

Bertrum Piedmont:

Strengths

He’s super confidant

Not afraid to get his hands dirty

Even though he almost always is dressed up nice

He makes sure he looks presentable

He acts like a dad to people he likes

Cultured

Very determined 

He can and will do anything out of spite and you can’t stop him because that will only give him more reason to

Weaknesses

Really prideful, gets offended over little things

is pretty arrogant as well

it’s really hard for him to change his mind after he’s made a decision 

refuses to lose, even if it’s really obvious that he has

he can be condescending 

doesn’t like or participate in humor, he’s always deadly serious

He can be over dramatic a lot

Lacie Benton:

Strengths

nothing seems to surprise her

calm and chill

a really good listener, the kind that you know can keep a secret

doesn’t take herself too seriously or anyone, (Bertrum finds her company to be one of his favorites after he figures that out)

shE WEARS WHATEVER SHE WANTS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION SHE JUST LIKES WEARING PANTS

Weaknesses

stays quiet about important things, she ain’t no snitch, who cares if she witnessed someone stealing something

Super apathetic about life

kinda isolated (Norman says hi)

Lazy but only because she can do it really fast and well so you can wait for her

Linda Stein:

Strengths

It’s a good thing she’s so confidant else Henry would have just looked at this pretty lady and never introduced himself

shes like really good at gardening, talk about a green thumb!

Affectionate 

knows when to be gentle and when someone needs tough love

and shes good at distributing both

shes so brave

Eager and excited easily

super patient 

Understanding

Weaknesses

she can come off as too forward and a little too fast

can get a little frazzled

Forgetful (Henry helps with that)

she doesn’t want to invade anyone’s boundaries but doesn’t ask what they are so its a tug of war within her

Sorry this took so long, I wanted to really think about it and do it justice! :D

[inkdemonapologist]

In the audio logs, it felt weird to me that Sammy is creative and diverse in just about everything, except for the few phrases (most notably "sheep" related ones) that he wildly overuses. Did that feel weird to you? Am I reading too much into this? Is this a sign of the abuse and cultic mentality (mantras in lieu of thoughts) or just Sammy being better at music than insults?

Ohhhhhh "mantras in lieu of thoughts" is a REALLY neat take, I could definitely see that for like, "he will set us free" and similar. BUT GOLLY the weird sheep obsession has been a THORN IN MY SIDE in trying to make sense of this man and the canon sure hasn't made any effort to illuminate where this came from so here's...... a possibility Ive been thinking about lately!

- we know from the employee's handbook that he used "sheep" as an insult when he was human

- but in prophet mode it doesn't seem to be an insult? It's not a compliment, it's sort of condescending, but he uses it in a pseudo-soothing way. Less "you idiot" vibes more "now settle down little one this is for the best"

- him calling Henry a sheep makes sense to me actually. He doesn't have a name for this guy, so he just immediately assigns a fitting noun for someone he sees as lost and also about to be sacrificed and uses that (This is maybe just a thing he does; see also: Art Department).

- his use of the sleepy sheep poem in Chapter 5 is interesting since he says it sort of sarcastically, like, he's intentionally making an ironic callback to his freakin catchphrase. ITS WEIRD b/c it like feels like Sammy's making a Bendy reference.

So, okay, the sleepy sheep poem is probably not for Sammy himself, it’s usually used for other people, something between soothing and warning as he does his Prophet Duties. Maybe everyone else already picked up on this (or maybe im comin out of left field here), but I had a WHOLE REVELATION about the one right after his Ch 2 monologue -- he does his "time for sleep" thing and then immediately starts screaming into the PA system about summoning Bendy, which seemed like a hilarious juxtaposition until I suddenly remembered that ink creatures can die when the Ink Demon spawns near them. For Sammy to warn them, essentially, to hide & go dormant or risk death before he calls on the ink demon....... makes a lot of sense???? HES ACTUALLY KINDA LOOKING OUT FOR HIS FLOCK????

He's also muttering this as he walks the halls, and I've pondered for a while the idea that he might use his position as Ink Demon's Prophet to maintain some safety and authority in this place -- if he claims to have the Ink Demon's favour, after all, then he is best respected and feared. I'm delighted that BatDS implies Sammy was actually quite vulnerable in the Studio and literally none of the powerful ink creatures respect him, because I see a lot of his trappings -- the little sheep chant, the mask -- as perhaps being things meant to set him apart from the Lost Ones and make him important and unsettling, someone the lost ones and searchers will respect and not attack and maybe even defend (especially when you consider how freaked out he seems to be when you knock his mask off). You hear his sing-song chant and you see Bendy's visage and you know that's the prophet, acting in service to the demon, and you don't get in his way; you keep your distance.

Worth noting that when Henry doesn't respond the way Sammy would expect his flock to -- instead running after him and calling out to him -- Sammy immediately flees, hiding out of reach and staying silent, no longer calling attention to his presence until he feels he has the upper hand again.

With the way he's seized on this specific rhyme and even makes a sarcastic reference to it, my current best guess/headcanon is that this was either lyrics somewhere in Sheep Songs, or is a bastardisation of a song or line from Sheep Songs, so the reason why it feels like Sammy's making a reference is that he literally is, taking a line from the cartoon he worships and turning it into a ritual that basically signifies "back off and let me do my thing and you may be spared."

Hard to say whether he picked this because he already used "sheep" in his former life as a condescending shorthand for the sort of people most likely to end up as Lost Ones and it just got out of hand, or if he picked up the whole sleepy sheep poem from the cartoon and then started referring to his followers as sheep because of it. I have a Convoluted Personal Headcanon that the song's lyrics were originally meant to tease Sammy Lawrence, if Jack thought this guy unironically calling him a sheep was awfully funny, and saw an opportunity to poke a little fun at his friend in the lyrics of a cartoon that was about both sheep and music, and so Sammy's attached to the song for reasons he no longer remembers... but there's not any actual evidence of that I just think it's a fun thought.

[debbiechanclub]

Best Two Out of Three, Part 1

So this started out as anon request for a Chuck Taylor or Orange Cassidy fic, and with the help of @hotyeehawman it somehow morphed into a monster 26-part Adam Page and Kenny Omega fic, with a lot of other folks thrown in. So if you’re finding this for the first time, the good news is it’s complete. Enjoy!

Best Two Out of Three

Synopsis: Orange and Chuck both want their friend Alex to accompany them to the ring for their matches at Double or Nothing - so Alex devises a contest.

Part: 1/26

Pairings: None really in this chapter, but hints at Kenny Omega x OFC

Warnings: Alcohol use, some suggestive language

Word Count: 2,512

Find the rest of the fic here.

“Are you sure it’s cool if I come hang out with you guys?”

Alex sent Kris a look like she’d grown a second head. “Of course it’s cool. I adore Chuck, Trent, and James, but sometimes I need to hang out with another girl.”    

They walked into the hotel elevator and Alex hit the button for the fifth floor. It was the night before AEW Double or Nothing 2020, and the Best Friends were having a little get-together in their rooms. It was a much-needed opportunity to cut loose and experience a little normalcy in the midst of the pandemic, and Alex in particular could use a few cold ones to take the edge off. She was still annoyed with Kenny for giving the match against Kris tomorrow night to Penelope Ford instead of her. She rolled her eyes as the elevator doors slid open with a ding. If he wasn’t over at the arena pre-filming the Stadium Stampede match with the rest of The Elite and The Inner Circle, she might have marched up to his room and given him a piece of her mind.

“So who all’s gonna be there?” Kris asked as they stepped off the elevator.

“The usual suspects,” Alex answered. “My knucklehead stablemates, Scorpio, Frankie, Jack, Austin, and you and me.”

“No Maxwell?”

She smirked. “I told him he could only come if he brought Michael, and then we’d be over the 10-person limit for social gatherings.”

She let out a loud laugh. “So you totally invited Michael behind his back, right?”

“I did,” she confirmed. “But he politely declined.”

They arrived at Alex and Chuck’s room, and she slid her key into the electronic lock. “I’m back with an alien and beer!” she proclaimed as she opened the door—but she got no response. Chuck and James were embroiled in a heated debate; well, about as heated as James, a.k.a. the one and only Orange Cassidy, could get.

“Dude! Why would she come out with you for the ladder match?” Chuck charged.

James’s face remained as stoic as ever. “Because she’s my friend.”

Chuck’s eyebrows arched high onto his forehead. “She’s literally my best friend!”

Ever so slightly, James cocked his head. “Penelope’s probably coming out with Kip for it,” he coolly pointed out.

“Penelope is Kip’s girlfriend!”

“And Alex is my friend who’s a girl.”

“Hey!” Alex interjected as she set the case of beer on the floor. Everyone turned to look at her. “I’m right here.”

“Oh, thank God,” Trent breathed. “You need to settle this. They’ve been arguing since you left.”

Her face contorted with a mixture of curiosity and confusion. “About what?”

“About whether you should accompany Chuck and Trent to the ring for their match or Freshly Squeezed for his match tomorrow night,” Jack answered.

Alex blinked. “And why wouldn’t I just do both?”

“It’s the principle of the matter,” Chuck argued.

James didn’t so much as blink. “What he said.”

Kris snorted under her breath. Alex sent her a look. “Do you see what I have to deal with?”

“Seriously, please put us all out of our misery,” Frankie groaned. “And can I get one of those?” He didn’t wait for permission as he eagerly picked up the beer case and tore into it. But Alex couldn’t care less; the wheels in her brain were turning.

She put her hands on her hips. “Well, there’s only one way to settle this, then: a contest for my accompaniment tomorrow night. Best two out of three wins.”

Chuck pressed his lips into a hard line, thinking. And then he said, “You got yourself a deal.”

Alex looked at James. “Orange?”

He shrugged—barely. “Sure.”

She clapped her hands together in excitement. “Then let the games begin, boys.”

* * * * * * * * * *

They couldn’t just play Rock, Paper, Scissors and call it a night; Alex was more creative than that. In order to be graced with her presence during his match, the winner would have to prove both his strength and wit—and round one was a good old fashioned relay.

“Alright!” Alex commanded everyone’s attention, a beer in hand. “These are the rules for round one. First, you must chug a beer. Second, you must complete twenty-five push-ups—real ones, none of that on-your-knees bullshit. Finally, you must braid either Jack or Austin’s hair. The first one to finish is the winner. Obviously.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Austin muttered.

“But you’ll look so pretty!” Kris proclaimed. He just grunted.

“Alright; Scorpio, I need you to count James’s push-ups,” Alex delegated. “Frankie, you count Chuck’s.”

Frankie laughed to himself. “That won’t be hard.”

“Shut it and give me a beer,” Chuck ordered. He already had his game face on. Alex couldn’t help but admire him for it.

Frankie passed one beer to Chuck and another to James. And then they both looked up at Alex. Waiting.

“On your marks...” she started. “Get set… Go!”

They simultaneously flipped open their drink tabs and started chugging as the room all cheered them on. Alex was genuinely interested to see who would finish first—but she wasn’t surprised when Chuck did. He crushed the can in his fist and tossed it aside just as James finished, and they both got into push-up position. Scorpio and Frankie both started counting; James was going nearly twice as fast as Chuck.

“Twelve, thirteen, fourteen…” Scorpio counted.

“Dude, he’s smoking you,” Trent commented to Chuck.

“Why aren’t you counting out loud?!” Chuck shouted at Frankie.

“Focus!” he returned.

“Twenty! Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five!”

James jumped up and ran over to where Austin sat on one of the beds. He separated his hair into three parts and started trying to braid.

“Twenty-five!” Frankie shouted. Chuck hurried over to Jack—and stared at his hair in bewilderment.

“How the hell am I supposed to do this? His hair is as big as he is!”

“Thank you,” Jack grinned.

He grabbed a chunk of Jack’s curls and tried to separate it from the rest; but before he could figure it out, Kris let out a shout. “Orange wins!”

“Fuck!” Chuck proclaimed.

Alex walked over to inspect James’s braid. Surprisingly, it wasn’t terrible. “Round one goes to Orange Cassidy,” she confirmed.

“Why do you know how to braid hair?” Chuck shot.

James just shrugged.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Alright, boys; time for round two: trivia.”

Alex paused for dramatic affect. Everyone in the room stared back at her, waiting. They were thoroughly invested in this idiotic competition she’d concocted, and she couldn’t be happier about it. “I’ve given our lovely galactic game show host,” she motioned to Kris, “five questions with their correct answers—all of them about yours truly. She will read each question aloud. If you know the answer, buzz in on your respective cell phones with the convenient buzzer app that Trent found; thank you Trent. If you answer incorrectly, the other person will have a chance to steal. First one to three correct answers wins.”

“Cool, let’s go,” Chuck said, his thumb hovering above the buzzer button on his phone screen. Alex pursed her lips; he was too competitive for his own good.

Kris cleared her throat and stood up straighter. She looked down at the hotel room notepad Alex had given her, and read out the first question. “Alright, we’re starting off with an easy one,” she prefaced. “What’s the name of Alex’s submission finisher?”

BZZZ! They both buzzed in—but James beat out Chuck by a second. “Orange?” Kris asked.

“Eighty-Eight Sleeper,” he answered.

“Correct!”

Chuck stubbornly sucked his teeth. “I bet you don’t know why it’s called that.”

James sent him a blank look. “Because it’s a Dragon Sleeper and she was born in 1988, the year of the dragon.”

“He should get an extra point for that,” Frankie piped up.

Chuck rounded on him. “Are you trying to sabotage me?”

“Alright, alright,” Alex intervened. “While that is why it’s called that, there will be no extra points awarded. It’s one-nothing James. Next question, please!”

Kris looked back down at the notepad. “How old was Alex when she started training?”

BZZZ! Chuck shouted out the answer before James even had a chance. “Nineteen! And she was trained by Jimmy Valiant in the same class as Adam Page!”

Kris sent her a surprised look. “Really?”

Alex nodded. “Yup. Hangman and I go way back. But like I just said, there’s no extra points, so we’re tied one-one. I appreciate your enthusiasm, though,” she grinned at Chuck. He didn’t acknowledge it; he was still in competition mode.

“Okay, next question,” Kris started. “Who was Alex’s favorite pro wrestler growing up?”

BZZZ! James beat out Chuck by a hair. But then he paused; he didn’t actually know the answer. “Eddie Guerrero?”

“Wrong!” Kris proclaimed. “Chuck, you have a chance—”

“CHRIS JERICHO!” he shouted before she could finish.

She blinked. “That’s correct.”

“How did you get that wrong?!” Scorpio said to James. “Chris teases her about it practically every time he sees her!”

He shook his head in a rare showing of emotion. “I blanked.”

“Okay. For the third and potentially final question,” Kris dramatically announced. She looked down at the notepad and preemptively laughed as she read the question to herself before stating it aloud. “Who does Alex totally want to punch in the face right now?”

“What?” Chuck and James both sent each other looks of confusion.

“I know it,” Trent muttered.

“OH!” It was as if a lightbulb went off above Chuck’s head and he quickly mashed his buzzer. “Kenny!”

“Yes!” Alex proclaimed. She muttered under her breath as she took a sip of beer, “I totally want to punch Kenny in his stupid face right now.”

“Well then, round two goes to Sexy Chuckie T!” Kris announced.

“YES!” Chuck pointed a finger in James’s face. “You suck!”

“We’re tied,” he flatly returned.

“Yes; indeed you are,” Alex returned. “And that means it’s time for round three --sudden death.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Sudden Death” was nothing more than “Never Have I Ever.” But, quite frankly, Alex was a little nervous. She knew this group of people—and she knew they had little to no shame.

“Okay, these are the rules,” she explained. “We’ll play like normal—but Chuckie and Orange will be the only ones putting down their fingers. The first one to put down all three fingers is the loser of the round.”

“Okay, just to clarify,” Scorpio asked, “so whoever still has fingers up at the end wins the whole thing?”

She nodded. “Correct.”

“I don’t like this,” Chuck said, even as he held up three fingers. “Y’all are gonna say things you know I’ve done to make me lose.”

“Never have I ever been a conspiracy theorist,” Frankie smirked. Chuck didn’t think it was funny.

“Especially you!”

“Alright, he actually has a point,” Alex begrudgingly admitted. “Let’s keep it unbiased. Kris, you start.”

Kris put a finger to her lips in thought. “Hmm… oh, I know,” she smirked. “Never have I ever slid into someone’s DMs.”

Alex let out a loud burst of laughter. “Maybe if Trent was playing,” she commented.

“Jeez, Alex, just put me on blast,” Trent returned.

She just smirked and took another sip of beer.

“So neither of you have done that, either?” Kris asked.

“I’m the Kentucky Gentleman, Kris,” Chuck said as James shook his head.

She arched her eyebrows. “Color me surprised.”

“Alright, all fingers are still up,” Alex said. Let’s go to the right. Scorpio, you’re up.”

Scorpio deviously stroked his chin as he looked back and forth between Chuck and James. “Never have I ever… walked in on people having sex.”

There was an anxious pause—and then Chuck put down a finger.

Alex gasped. “What? Who?!”

He cringed. “Someone at my wrestling school back in Kentucky. It was gross.”

She crinkled her nose in disgust. “Well then. Your turn, Trent.”

He had a statement at the ready. “Never have I ever seen Alex naked.”

“DUDE!” she proclaimed. Meanwhile, Chuck and James both put down a finger.

Jack’s brow furrowed. “Okay. No judgment, but please explain.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “It was an accident, and I was only half-naked. They walked in on me while I was changing earlier.”

“That happened today?” Scorpio asked.

“Hence why I said it,” Trent smirked.

Alex’s cheeks burned. “Next!”

That meant Frankie was up. “Alright. Never have I ever… pissed myself during a match.”

“Oh, gross!” Kris laughed—and James put down a finger.

“What!” Alex proclaimed, wide-eyed. “Okay, now you need to explain.”

 He pursed his lips. “Back when I was Fire Ant, Gran Akuma kicked me right in the bladder during a match. I drank too much water that night and a little came out.”

“Oh shit!” Chuck proclaimed. “I remember that!”

Alex and Kris looked at each other—and burst out laughing. “Okay, okay,” Alex eventually said. “You both only have one finger left. Whoever puts a finger down next is the loser.”

“Pressure’s on,” Jack said as he rubbed his hands together. He smirked. “Never have I ever drunkenly confessed my love for someone.”

“OH COME ON!” Chuck shouted as he put down his last finger. “You said that on purpose!”

Jack shook his head. “Dude, no I didn’t,” he said with a laugh. “I swear to God.”

“Who did you confess your love to?” Kris curiously asked.

Chuck looked sheepishly down at the floor. “Alex,” he muttered.

Kris’s jaw dropped as she turned wide eyes on Alex. “When did this happen?”

“After Double or Nothing last year,” she said.

“I was three sheets to the wind and we were in Vegas, alright?” Chuck explained before anyone else could put in their two cents. “Besides, I didn’t mean love like in love. I meant it like, ‘I love you, you’re my best friend.’”

Trent patted his back. “You keep telling yourself that, bud.”

“I did mean in that way!” he insisted.

“Okay, well however you meant it,” Alex interjected, “you lost the round, which means that Freshly Squeezed here has won the right to my accompaniment tomorrow night.”

Chuck pouted. “Man…”

“BUT.” Alex held up a finger. “We all know I don’t have the final say on that. It’s up to the EVPs and Tony.”

Chuck looked back up at her. “What? Then why the hell did you make us do all that?”

She shrugged. “Because it was fun.”

“It really was,” Kris agreed, and everyone else echoed the sentiment. Everyone, that is, except Chuck and James.

“If I explain to Kenny what happened tonight,” James started, “he’ll probably honor my victory.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “NO!” she proclaimed. “You’re hereby disqualified; I’m going out with Chuck and Trent tomorrow.”

“Yes!” Chuck raised his arms in victory. “You suck, Orange!”

The room erupted as everyone started arguing and talking over each other again. But Alex sat back, a contented smile on her face. The Best Friends really were her best friends and, in that moment, there was nowhere else she’d rather be.

[copias-thrall]

This is Halloween (Halloween)

Mary expands Suey's world by taking her to a crazy art party.

(Part: 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9)

It’s one of the stretches where you actually haven’t seen Mary in a few days. He’d apparently been by your apartment—dishes were done and he took out your trash—but you’d spent that day hunkered down at a coffee shop so you could have sandwiches with a friend who got a job downtown. And while Mary can be lyrical when he wants to be, his texts are usually brief and full of letters that only make sense to him in his shorthand … so you’re not ever going to get any missives from the front lines from him.

Which is fine: you’re super-busy and full of your own hobbies. Like napping. And complaining. Occasionally you’ll round that out with chip-eating. You’ve never been particularly creative—which makes Mary wince at you every now and then (you love art, you’re just not … adept, and sometimes it seems unfair that he can write music AND lyrics AND doodle great sketches)—but you are a voracious reader. You’d been shocked to find out that not only had Mary read Austen, but he also had a love of Persuasion—a novel you yourself found superior to Pride & Prejudice. He’d been similarly chuffed when he’d realized you liked Chuck Palahniuk for more than just Fight Club. 

Which is all to say that when Mary’s not around, you like to combine your hobbies—a little chip eating while you read, only to fall asleep with the book on your face. 

Tonight is no exception.

It’s nearly Halloween (it’s tomorrow actually, and you’re only slightly bummed that Mary has to work), so in honor of the holiday you’re working your way through an anthology of Lovecraft. Unexpectedly, there's a knock at your door. You check your phone, but there are no texts.

Hmm.

There’s another knock, so you set down the book and sprint to your bedroom to take up what Mary has dubbed your “Masher Hammer.” You make it back to your apartment door just in time for a third series of knocks. When you look out the peephole, however, it’s clear that whoever’s on the other side is blocking the viewer.

Gripping your hammer tight—ready for swing mode—you unlatch your door and open it.

You’re met with the sight of a Jack O’Lantern. 

No—

Not a Jack O’Lantern … some guy with a carved pumpkin on his head.

“Ta-d—Jesus Christ, Suey … put Masher down,” says a muffled voice.

“Mary?”

Mary lifts the pumpkin—a real pumpkin, not a plastic basket from the dollar store—a little off his head enough for you to make out his face. You lower your swinging arm.

“Why is there a pumpkin on your head? What are you doing here?” 

He spreads his arms out and does jazz hands. “Mischief Night!” 

When you just stand there squinting at him, he finally takes the pumpkin fully off his head. His hair is squashed, and he’s only wearing some light makeup around his eyes and on his lips.

“So, you gonna let me in, or … should I duck?”

“Oh, right,” you say as you step back.

As Mary suanters in, you can see his eyes sweep to the couch where you’ve made a nest of blankets and pillows—your book lying face down, and the open bag chips positioned at an optimal angle on the coffee table.

“That looks nice.” He sidles up to you to squeeze your tits through your hoodie. “Almost makes me want to call it a night and get cozy in those blankets … I could crush those chips and lick them off you before I eat you out.”

His hand slides down to your crotch.

You’re trying to take him seriously, but he’s holding a pumpkin under his arm. You snap at his face.

“Mary—focus. What the hell?”

He gives you a put out look, exaggeratedly pushing out his bottom lip—but it’s soon replaced with a wicked grin.

“Mischief Night! Do you wanna go to a weird-ass art party?”

“An art party?” you ask dubiously.

“No, not what you’re thinking.”

He sets down the carved pumpkin on your table and walks to your fridge, rummaging around before pulling out the pisswater beer he keeps around.

“Think of it as a teen-movie house party—but on steroids and no one there got laid in high school. With, you know: art.”

“That’s … very specific.”

He walks back over to you, cradling the beer in one hand, and puts the other on your shoulder.

“We are under no obligation to participate in the orgy.”

You don’t think he’s joking.

He gives you a once over. “It’s also a—hmm—masquerade, so we gotta get you outfitted.”

Your mind darts.

“I only have those stupid headband cat ears my friend got me as a joke.”

He gives you a vulpine smile. “You’re gonna go as me.”

It had been a fun little party of two as you’d put on a YouTube Halloween playlist from your phone. Mary’d given you a dramatic mohawk with his precious airplane glue, then fished around in the pink makeup bag with hearts (that you’d put his stash in as a joke and he’d kept) to give you his iconic look—blood and all.

There was no way you were going to fit in his skinny jeans, but you’d been able to pair one of his well-worn tees (that you hadn’t already stolen) with your favorite denim skirt. Mary had taken off one of his studded belts to wrap around you—it’d needed a couple of safety pins to act as extensions, but Mary had assured you that that just made the style more authentic. Upon Mary’s request, you’d put on your ripped fishnets, and you had your own worn Docs to complete the look.

“Do I get to be a sex-crazed jerk all night?” you’d asked as you’d admired yourself in the corroded full-length you had propped up by the bathroom.

“You say that as if that’s something new and different for you—fuck ow,” said Mary as you’d tapped his balls.

“So where is this place?” you ask as Mary and you head to the train. 

It’s in the old factory district, which means it’s a ways away, but still subway accessible.

“It’s actually in a converted co-op. I think they started out as squatters—unclear—but now it’s above board as a residence and shit. I used to know a guy who lived there for a while—they had sectioned off areas with screens—and he had a corner so he slept in a hammock. Most of the space is for their art, though. What a fucking life to live.”

You look at him, incredulous. “Mare. You live in a 2 bedroom with 4 other dudes.”

He scoffs at you. “We also have a couch. It’s a whole ‘nother level.”

You just hum at him.

When you finally get there—after a few mis-turns in this silent neighborhood full of abandoned brick factories—you’re surprised (despite Mary’s description) to see that the place is lit. There’s a guy standing at the entrance to the parking lot (that slopes dangerously toward the river) checking attendees; it becomes clear that not only is he checking for 21+, but for alcohol and toilet paper. Those without either have to “donate” $10.

“Oh—” says Mary right before it’s about to be your turn. “I’m not Mary tonight.”

“What should I call, then? The ‘Great Pumpkin’?”

“Just not Mary,” he hisses as you shore up to the “bouncer.”

The guy is not in any kind of costume—just grey sweats and a sports team hat. He’s sitting on a bar stool, and he has a little flashlight he’s using to check IDs.

“Hey, guys!” he says cheerily. “Welcome to Magical Mischief Mystery at the Factory. IDs? Ah! TP and suds? Cool, cool.”

He checks your IDs, then looks at you, then your IDs … then at Mary’s pumpkin face, then at you.

“OH MY GOD,” he starts chortling and slips off the stool to grab Mary’s arm. “Mary, you old bastard—I haven’t seen you since Dusty left to get hitched.”

You take a deep breath and—in your best screamo voice—you say, “I’m fucking Mary Goore,” (not a lie) “and he’s ‘Late for Dinner’.”

The pumpkin head turns to you. You can feel Mary’s unamused gaze.

The bouncer starts wheezing so hard that you’re afraid he might expire from laughing.

“Fuck, fuck,” gasps the dude. He shakes his head, eyes watery from mirth, and waves the two of you through.

“I hate you,” says Mary.

“I didn’t call you ‘Mary’, though,” you quip as you slip your arm through his.

“Why do I have to carry all the shit? Here. Pull your fucking weight.”

Mary hands you the toilet paper roll he heisted from your bathroom.

“Are we going to TP something?” you ask as you take the roll from him.

“Heh. No, it’s purely functional. This many people? It’s so the bathrooms don’t run out.”

The two of you enter with another mass of people, traveling through the miasma of secondhand smoke from the smokers. You cough, but Mary inhales deep, sighing. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but you gape as you look around.

You and Mary stand on an open floor—which is what 5 or so floors look out onto all the way up. The place is crowded, but not jam packed. There’s a makeshift kitchen area where a dude in a bare chest and suspenders is accepting the toilet paper and libations. Above him is a white sheet that’s stretched out, on which an Art Film is being projected. The film has no sound because in the far corner there’s a DJ spinning, and a group of people are “dancing” to his jams. Mary was right: it’s like some kind of frat party for the artsy set. Because of the theme, most everyone is in a mask of some sort, and people—or groups of people—are making out in corners in various states of undress. 

Mary grabs two beers, then leads you to a staircase—there’s a freight elevator by it, but it’s got cheesy Halloween “do not enter” tape blocking it.

“The first year too many people loaded into it, and it dropped 3 floors before the emergency brakes kicked in,” says Mary as he notices where you’re looking.

In a loft on the second floor you and Mary watch a woman—nude and covered in white paint—become the canvas to her girlfriend’s landscape painting.

In what’s clearly a shared bedroom, you and Mary peruse some really great paintings and sketches from what must be a number of the co-op residents.

“You should have told me to bring cash,” you say.

“We can always come back. I know a guy.”

You imagine Mary’s probably winking at you.

On the third floor there’s an inexplicable open-air kitchen attached to a bathroom. In it there’s a dude doling out beer from a keg.

“What’s this,” Mary asks him.

“It’s my homemade IPA, dude! Pumpkin for the season!”

He hands Mary a business card.

“We have a small space in the boonies, but we’re trying to get a brewery up and running in the city. Red tape though, man.”

“I fucking hear that.” Mary takes a sip. “Good shit, dude.”

The guy high-fives Mary.

“One for your girl?”

Mary hands you the solo cup, and you take a sip. You were expecting something grassy and hoppy—but the pumpkin actually balances it out nicely without it itself being cloyingly sweet. When you nod, Mary just lets you have his and indicates to the brewer to pump another cup.

The two of you enter what you think might usually be a studio space, but instead there’s a burlesque performance going on. There are some people making out, but Mary and you watch, rapt, praising the skill of the performers to each other.

The fourth floor has the least amount of people. Someone is doing a reading in one corner, and across the way there’s some sort of performance art going on. A woman stands in a white shift and gauze. Every time a dude who looks like a Nazgul rings a bell, she contorts herself to a different pose with a dancer’s ease.

You roll your eyes, but Mary begs your patience—watching solemnly as she continues.

“What is it?” you ask when the set is clearly over.

“Did you not feel it?”

“Uh …”

Even through the pumpkin you can feel his eyes on you.

“She’s a dancing monkey. Bound and constrained, only ever allowed to perform at the whim of her faceless master.”

“Mary …”

“No—don’t scoff. That was meant for you. It’s an allegory for the patriarchy, and I for one found it quite moving.”

You guess you can see it now that Mary’s pointed it out to you. He takes off the pumpkin, and you hold it while he goes over to talk to the woman. You shift uncomfortably as they engage, and she grabs his hands, shaking them profusely. Mary suddenly points over at you, and the woman waves and motions you over.

“Oh my god, look at you!” she squeals. She turns back to Mary. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it—she looks just like you.”

“I liked your patriarchal allegory,” you say.

Mary twists his mouth at you, but the woman just presses her hands to her chest.

“Thank you so much. I’m testing it out here as a protest piece. A bunch of us are going to travel to different cities and perform outside of big corporations.” She grabs Mary’s wrist. “Your boyfriend is wonderful. His song about—”

“—my band’s song—”

“—the nature of performative gender roles is one of my favs.”

You have no idea which song she’s talking about, but Mary looks pleased. So you’re pleased. You wrap your arm around his waist.

“He is pretty great.”

She lifts her veil to chug the glass of water Nazgul hands her.

“It was so nice to meet you person to person, Mary. I’m going to find the ladies before my next performance.”

“Love your work, Lizzy. I’ll put you on the list for our shows. Show up anytime!”

She bows and shuffles backwards as Mary leads you away.

“You have no idea what song she’s talking about do you?”

“I—” you sputter. “Uh. Dead Things?”

Mary looks at you indulgently.

“I’ll let you think about it.”

It turns out that the 5th floor is off limits to party goers, so Mary—back in his Jack O’Lantern—and you wander down to ground level to acquire more beer and to join the crowd of dancers. At some point the two of you take a break to pee, then hydrate as you add your own dialogue to the film on loop above you.

Back on the dance floor, there’s some skanking, some goth writhing, and some line dancing as the DJ spins his own set and sprinkles in some crowd requests. At this point in the night, most of the attendees have already made passes through the upper floors and are now all on the dance floor. Mary does some goth stomping (his pumpkin abandoned and now being passed around), and you do a silly skank until you slip on a slick spot and fall on your ass. After that, Mary pulls you close and grinds against you, his thigh between yours, both of you buzzed from multiple trips to the bar.

“Do you wanna find a corner?” he whispers into your ear.

In any other situation you’d probably say no … but—for all the crowd is packed—this is clearly a private party, one whose hosts don’t frown upon a little bit of lechery. You guess he wasn’t kidding about the orgy, after all.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

It takes a little investigation, but Mary and you find a room that seems to have been either designated or usurped as the makeout room. There’s a writhing mass in one corner, and the bed is covered in rolling bodies. There’re some breathy invitations—and a hand or two lightly caresses your calf as you walk by—but no one insists on participation further than that. 

Mary yanks a pillow from the bed and tosses it to the floor. He pulls you down so that you’re both on your knees, his mouth capturing yours and his hands alighting everywhere. A hand of his sneaks down your skirt, and yours slithers down his jeans—the roving fingers of you each more a prelude than anything, stoking you both up to what’s next.

“Can I fuck you?” huffs Mary.

“Kinda drunk,” you say.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No—just not gonna be very useful,” you giggle.

Because you wore the fishnets you’re not wearing underwear, so all Mary has to do is rip a hole in the crotch area—they’re not even good fishnets, so it’s not like there’s a liner to contend with. He grunts at your wetness.

“You sure?”

“Fuck me, Mary.”

He fumbles with his dick, finally managing to sink it into you. It’s a very awkward fuck—you’re lolling all about the place, and Mary isn’t being particularly steady.

At one point a light turns on only for a Sorry! to squeal out as it turns off again.

You try to swallow your laugh, but your jiggling belly can’t hide your reaction, and soon Mary is laughing too.

“Fuck … shut up … fuck,” he giggles. “I’m trying to get off here.”

You’re just catapulted into further fits, and before long Mary’s soft cock is slipping out of you as he joins you in snickering.

“Crap. I might be too drunk for this too.”

The two of you lay like that for a bit, a feedback loop of laughter, until your belly muscles ache.

“Fuck. Take me home, Suey.”

“Yeah, ok,” you say. 

After some readjusting, you both stumble out of the room. The crowd has thinned, but that’s not to say the dance party isn’t still going strong.

“We should get a cab,” you say.

“Cash?” Mary asks as you guys shuffle out of the building.

“App,” you say as you hold up your phone to poke at your cab app. “My card s’on file.”

“Fancy.”

“S’for emergencies.”

“Oh.”

You give him a lopsided grin. “Like staying too late at a factory party.”

There’s a comedy of errors when the cab can’t find you and cancels, and you have to rebook—only to have the same cab automatically cancel your order again. Mary calls the number for dispatch, and they direct you out to a main street. The cab that picks you up is the same cab that voided your reservation twice, and he yells at you for giving him the wrong address.

You let Mary argue with him (content to doze on his shoulder)—the conclusion seeming to be that while you put in the correct address, the app didn’t like it and spit out a close, but different, pickup address.

By the end of the trip, however, the cabbie and Mary seem to be old friends. He lingers even after the driver validates your card, talking with the guy about where he’s from, until you tug on his arm.

“Sleepy,” you grumble into him.

The cab driver laughs.

“We are beholden to our women, yes?”

“Happily,” says Mary as he wraps an arm around you.

“Have a good night,” says the cabbie, and Mary just raps on the car, waving as it pulls away.

 “What a cool dude,” he says as the two of you shuffle toward your building.

“Mhm,” you mumble.

“Jesus, you’re useless when you’re drunk.”

There’s a lot of fumbling and stumbling, but you both finally make it into your apartment. Somehow Mary gets you into the shower, which you don’t even realize until it turns on, and you shriek when the cold water smacks you in the face before it has the chance to warm up.

“Why am I still in my clothes?!” you whine.

Mary pokes his head in.

“You fucking serious? You almost bit off my fingers when I tried to undress you!”

“I’m more than just sex!” you yell.

“Just fucking wash your face.”

“Kay.”

You fall asleep sitting in the shower, waking only when the water turns cold. It seems to have had a sobering effect, because you definitely feel more clear headed than when you entered—it’s not as funny to be slightly sober and peeling off your cold, wet clothes. Usually you give your teeth the full experience, but tonight (this morning?), you just give them a quick brush.

For all he seemed soberer of you two, Mary doesn’t seem to have fared much better. He managed to get his shirt off, but he’s lying on your bedroom floor—curled in a ball—still in his unbuckled jeans. It would be amusing—and maybe after sleep it will be—if you weren’t so wrecked. It’s a struggle tugging off his jeans, and he semi-wakes halfway through and starts to shiver.

“Wha—?”

He looks at you blearily.

“Help me get your pants off, Mare bear.”

He blinks down at his legs, then sort of squirms his legs to help you wiggle him out of the black denim. Luckily—disorientated as he is—he’s able to assist you in getting him into your bed; he conks out again the minute you trundle him under the covers. The night outside is lightening, and you know there’s no way you can work tomorrow. Today.

Whatever.

You shuffle into your living room and start up your laptop, blinking rapidly as it boots up. When it finally loads, you send off a missive to your supervisor about potential food poisoning you’ve contracted, but how you’ll check your email later this afternoon. You preemptively down some ibuprofen and sneak some of Mary’s Pedialyte.

Mary seems dead to the world when you climb into your bed, but he’s rolling over and wrapped around you as soon as you’re settled, huffing into your neck.

“Took the morning off,” you mumble.

He hums.

You’re in a good doze when he speaks, jarring you back awake.

“Had fun?”

“Yeah, Mare. Now, shh.”

He mumbles something into your neck, but it’s too incoherent and you’re too knackered to decipher it. You just relax into his koala embrace and let sleep take you.

⬅️Previous | Next ➡️

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

Dr. Seuss is no stranger to cinematic adaptations, and even less of a stranger to animation. And whenever Seuss gets animated, you can typically expect good things, as opposed to when his work is live action, in which case you can expect…

Yeah…

Anyway, imagine the excitement people must have felt when the creative team behind Despicable Me and the writing team behind the underrated gem Horton Hears a Who got together to do a fresh new take on The Lorax! This was in Illumination’s heyday, before they ended up showcasing that they’re more interested in churning out cheap products for maximum profit, so there was plenty of hope that this could be good. Then came all the commercial tie-ins.

Now, this alone shouldn’t be indicative of the final product. Maybe stuff like this is just a bunch of suits horribly missing the point of the original story! Maybe the actual film will be better! Well… while the film was no flop, and while it certainly got a better reception than most of the films I’ve talked about here, the film was derided by many for being an extremely shallow and lacking adaptation that adds unneeded junk to a story that didn’t need it in such a way that ultimately dilutes the message. It turns a story that operated on shades of gray and turned it into a cartoonish spectacle that would make even Captain Planet blush. Not helping was the rabid fanbase on Tumblr who shipped the Once-ler with… himself… or Jack Frost… forever tainting the film in the eyes of those on the internet.

Things got so bad eventually even the [REDACTED] Critic reviewed the film in his usual over-the-top, accentuate the negative style, and as some people still treat his word as gospel, this has most likely colored the perception of the film. So while it’s certainly not to the same level of infamy as the usual subjects of Is It Really THAT Bad? I still wanted to put this movie on here and ask one simple question:

How ba-ah-ah-ad can it be?

THE GOOD

So let me just get it out of the way: the movie’s villain song, “How Bad Can I Be,” legitimately is awesome and is frankly one of the best villain songs ever. No, I’m not kidding. It’s just a fun, rocking number with some neat visuals, and while it’s a shame the cut rock opera-esque “Biggering” is probably the better song, this one is definitely more fun and meme-worthy. Shake that bottom line!

Now, the casting is, for the most part, pretty fantastic. Minor characters like the grandma played by Betty White are a lot of fun, but really, the main piece of awesome casting is Danny DeVito as the titular Seuss creation. DeVito as the Lorax is just so incredible, perfect, and inspired that it boggles the mind how anyone could possibly come up with such amazing casting.

As far as antagonizing forces in the film go, the Once-ler’s awful, vile family are enjoyable in a “love to hate” sort of way. While it’s certainly kind of iffy that they felt the need to give the Once-ler more of an excuse for his actions beyond just simple greed, it isn’t so bad that what they came up with was familial pressure. In fact, they’re actually much better at antagonists than O’Hare, the actual villain of the film, and the fact the movie give him so much focus despite having such fascinating characters that would have had a really great thematic purpose; hell, they should have been the rulers of Thneedville instead og O’Hare! There’s so much untapped potential with these, quite frankly, very interesting characters.

I guess I should say the Once-ler is a pretty decent character in and of himself, but he very much suffers from the same problem the Jim Carrey Grinch does – he’s a good, enjoyable character in his own right, but he’s not a very good Once-ler. In fact, he at points borders on “in name only” territory. Still, he does have a pretty solid arc, and that villain song slaps, so… I think he’s solid, and Ed Helms does a good job voicing him.

THE BAD

Jon Lajoie, while in character as his misogynistic moron rapper MC Vagina, said this:

When I first heard this lyric, I didn’t understand it… but his words were a prophecy, because that is, in all honesty, the plot of this film. Our flavorless protagonist Ted really just wants to get the Truffula trees back so he can get into the pants of the local smoking hot redhead hippie, Audrey. It gets to the point where Ted’s motivations are so boring and shallow that Audrey actually would have made a far more interesting and compelling protagonist, seeing as she already has an inexplicable knowledge of the trees and cares about nature. When they already changed so much in the story I don’t see why they couldn’t just make the protagonist a girl while they were at it. As it is, she barely has any presence and feels like a waste, which becomes all the more awful when you know she’s being played by a stunt casted Taylor Swift instead of an actual voice actor or even an actor period. At least Ted is Zac Efron, an actual actor, though he doesn’t do a particularly good job himself.

Then we have our villain, O’Hare. O’Hare has all the subtlety of a Captain Planet villain but none of the cheesy goodness and fun. Sure, Rob Riggle does some good delivery and gives O’Hare some memetastic moments, and sure, his selling of canned air is oddly prescient of things that happened in real life in India (though technically President Skroob Spaceballs beat him to the punch by a few decades) but it doesn’t really redeem O’Hare from being an excessively weak villain who is shoehorned into the plot solely to turn the story into a black and white morality tale. It… doesn’t work at all. What also doesn’t help is that O’Hare has an absolutely repugnant character design, looking like if Edna Mode got mangled by a sixteen wheeler and left in a ditch on the side of the road.

Finally, this movie just doesn’t really respect the story to any great degree. As mentioned above, it waters down a story that presented arguments from both sides and, while still ultimately showing the Once-ler to be wrong and shortsighted, did have him make some valid points. Here, the story is presented as there being a clear cut good and evil in a horrendously unsubtle and unpalatable way. Yes, we get that extreme deforestation and overuse of resources is bad, you don’t need to beat us over the head with it. It doesn’t help that the film also crams in a bunch of cringeworthy pop culture humor that really doesn’t add much to the story; say what you will about the anime scene from Horton, at least there was a bit of substance and reason for it. Having characters sing the Mission: Impossible theme is just making a reference for the sake of making a reference.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

So I’m gonna say that I don’t particularly find this movie to be good, per se. It’s very dumbed down and more than a little undermined by the various brand tie ins. It is a poorly executed black and white morality tale that was crafted from a very deep and engaging piece of children’s literature, and on that level, I don’t think this movie works even a little bit. Still, there’s some enjoyment that can be mined from this, particularly from some of the more so bad it’s good moments, as well as DeVito’s performance and some actual good moments of story and character. There’s some stuff to like here if you dig a bit, but really, I don’t think you really should have to do a deep dig into The Lorax to get some enjoyment.

Overall, I wouldn’t really say this movie is totally bad, but it’s definitely not good, either; it veers more into the territory of “so bad it’s good,” which is a shame but also kind of refreshing. It’s definitely an interesting film to talk about, and there are a few things about it that work, but ultimately it’s not enough to really raise the film to the level of the classic animated Seuss adaptations or even to the level of Horton. At its best, it’s okay, and at its worst, it actively undermines its own messages. I think the 6.4 it has is pretty fair… maybe a bit too fair, if I’m being honest. I’d give it something like a 5.7 or 5.8.

Again, it’s not the worst thing ever like some might tell you; hell, the adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas Illumination would go on to make is probably a worse movie. But it still doesn’t really do anything that adds to the story its telling, and it ultimately comes off as saccharine, forgettable childish fluff. It’s really a harmless movie, but it’s still probably gonna grate on anyone who holds the original story in high esteem. The {REDACTED] Critic was a bit hyperbolic in his review, but I do think he was right in principle. This movie feels like a calculated, corporate adaptation meant to be as inoffensive and marketable as possible much like every Illumination film post-Despicable Me. And if there’s one thing The Lorax shouldn’t be, it’s “inoffensive and marketable.”

[overthere-in-neverland]

Hey i was wondering if you could do one where the readers band is on tour with all time low and at night she sings herself to sleep and jack listens to her and starts developing a crush on her? You can change it up a bit so it doesn’t suck but thanks :)

AN Hey guys! Sorry it’s been three years since I’ve posted lmao. I think I’m slowly coming back to these. For one thing I’m at my job, and I work graveyard so I’m bored as hell. For another, I really miss creative writing. I’ll update you on my life if you want next time I visit this, but other than that, hello! I won’t be updating the halloween imagines for the time being, especially since I’m trying to come back to this. I know I had one  (1) request to update the side blog fanfics I had going on, but as for now, I’m going to try to do it one at a time. @ my motivation? Where r u (and im so sorry i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonighttttt) Anyways! Also I just realized that it was Creeper who were atl’s opening band on the european mainland tour for lyr and now im emo all over again. The text conversation is in the story already, I just felt the need to make it for you lol

Your POV

I knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. Our manager knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. My bandmates knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. We all were well aware, and now the fans were too. But holy shit, is it surreal. Starting from nothing, playing a max of ten people, then going to 1,000 cap rooms, oh my god is it fucking incredible. Not to mention All Time Low have been my heroes for as long as I can remember.

I’m in a pop punk band, and I play the bass. I’m not quite a singer, but I can do back up. I have three other bandmates. One sings, her name is Maria, one plays guitar, that’s Drew. And we have Allison on drums. Altogether we’re pretty badass.

I had heard in the industry that Jack was a bit of a flirt. Having Drew in our band, we didn’t think much of it. Granted, Maria was engaged, and Allison’s gay, so it’s not like either of them were available. But I knew of Jack’s wiles, so I knew to stay on my toes. We were touring in Europe around the mainland for Last young Renegade, All Time Low’s new album, and it was my band’s first time being in Europe, so we were stoked. We were up at like 8 am, exploring around the city. Though trying to fall asleep is critical, especially jet-lagged. I don’t know about most things, but what I do know is anytime I go anywhere, even if it’s in the same time zone, I’m always jet-lagged. Maybe I’m just always tired?

So we arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark, the first stop on our European tour, and we meet the guys at their bus, and I’m a little star struck. Alex Gaskarth and his iconic hair. I’m not saying I’m in the fandom, but Alex’s brown hair is nothing short of iconic. Especially when it’s longer. Huge throwback to Timebomb era, and hooo boy. That was an era to be alive. Alex was wiping down the table in his bus, muttering about these “good for nothing men, who can’t even pick up after themselves.” Jack is behind him opening the fridge, then opening the cupboards, then opening the fridge, then opening the pantry, I smiled a bit at that. Zack and Rian weren’t anywhere to be found, at least from what I could see, staring down the bus’s hallway. We were to be dragging behind them in our small little van pulling a trailer. Drew coughed, and Alex looked up. “Guys!” he smiled, throwing away his wipe. “You’re here!”

Jack looked over from his rampant searching of food and smiled at us as well. I felt my face grow hot, but tried to brush it off like I was alright. I kicked my other food and looked down at the ground to try and forget I existed for a bit. I noticed Maria smiling at me, probably knowing exactly what was going on. She knew that Jack has always been a celebrity crush of mine since 2008. “What’s up,” he said to us, nodding in our direction.

“We’re in GutterPunk,” Drew responded, usually taking initiative. “Nice to meet you guys. We’ll be on tour with you throughout the mainland.”

“Sweet!” Alex smiled, and came over to us, probably intending to shake our hands. “What’ll you be riding around?”

“We kind of don’t really know yet? We have to go pick up the rental van and trailer soon. We just wanted to meet you guys.”

“Well I’m Alex,” he said gesturing to himself. “And that fiend over there is Jack.” Jack paused from his cupboard raid and waved, then went back to it. “Hope to enjoy your guys’ music and energy out there.”

“Stoked, dude.” Drew shook his hand, and turned to walk away, out of the bus. We were all standing in his way. So he had nowhere to go.

“I’ve been a fan since middle school!” Allison told him, also shaking his hand. “Y/N and I have always dreamed of touring with you guys. It’s been a dream, really. You’re a huge inspiration! At least half of it. Tre Cool has always been my biggest, but don’t sweat it. He’s a fucking god on drums.”

“Here here!” came a voice in the back.

“That’s Rian,” Alex chuckled. “He always makes himself known at any mention of Green Day.”

I thought I had seen Jack peak over at us when Allison mentioned my name, but then again, it was all happening so fast, I didn’t have any idea as to what was going on. I tucked my hair behind my ears and introduced myself to Alex. We talked a bit before we had to go to the rental agency and get our modes of transportation. It was to be about a month in the van with these guys, tightly packed. Thank god we weren’t a ska band.

After a couple days on tour in Europe, I was getting my bearings. I started to get a feel of how it would be like throughout the month. It was a show every night for a couple days, then we’d have one or two days off. Our van broke down the fifth day, and we were ready to call it quits, me being on the verge of tears, and Allison kicking the wheel of our shitty van rental. Alex graciously offered to let us stay in their bus, but we all refused, trying desperately to figure out another way to travel. He insisted.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Maria asked him as we gathered our stuff in their bus

“Oh, it’s fine!” Alex waved us off. “You’ll just stay with us. It’s not fair that we get this huge ass bus for four of us and you guys all have to share that tiny van. Make sure you get your money back though, because that’s bullshit. Jesus Christ, man. I told Fueled that we should’ve just shared a tour bus but they’re all about ‘separating bands’ or whatever. Why we ever signed to this record label I’ll never know.”

“It was your idea,” Zack chimed in. We all laughed. “Well it was! After going to Hopeless, twice, Alex wanted to branch out. Which we all agreed to anyway. It was funny though, because he complained about it every chance he got.”

“I’m well aware of that. But Fueled by Ramen seems to forget that we were once small too! Power to the little people!”

We all laughed again and gathered in their bus to prepare for the next night which was to be a day off. I was nervous, because this meant that Jack would be just down the hall, if you can even call it that, from me. It reached 1 am that night after the show, and we had all gathered in our beds to try and sleep so we could get out and do fun things around France.

I always used to sing myself to sleep to calm my nerves, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, it seemed like that was my only option if I wanted to sleep. I started off by humming softly, in case I would wake anyone up. After about ten minutes of that, and no sounds of stirs happened, I sang quietly. First was Lullabies, which is my go to song to sing when I need to sleep. Something about the line “Sing me to sleep, I’ll see you in my dreams” makes me feel at peace. After I finished with that, I heard the quiet patter of feet. I stopped for a bit, to wait to see if it came again, and when it didn’t I started again. Snuff by Slipknot is another one that calms me down, and I sang that, but right at the bridge I heard the patter again. I drew back the curtain, and saw Jack standing there. He looked scared to see me notice him, and promptly turned back towards his bed, and didn’t look back at me.

I frowned but pulled the covers up. I guess he doesn’t actually want to get to know me. I closed my eyes to try for the.. Was it the fourth time? Third time? I lost count. But I tried once more to sleep. Then I heard the pang next to me of a text message.

I promise I wasn’t trying to listen to you sing.

It was from Jack. We had all exchanged numbers at the beginning of the tour. My thumbs danced over my screen as I thought of what to say.

Don’t worry about it

I just heard it and then i couldn’t stop

It’s fine, jack. Really

Your voice is really pretty tho Can we talk tomorrow? I have something I need to tell you

What could he possibly need to tell me? I was freaking out. And now I can’t sleep even more. Fuck. This was going to be a long night.

I mean I’m awake right now

I can’t really say it right now

Well, what the fuck does that mean? I sigh and then turn around and face the wall. The bus was moving, but I felt like my stomach was moving ten thousand times faster. Him talking to me like this is the first real conversation he’s had with me. Most of the time he avoids me. Whatever it is, I guess I can wait. I prepared for a long sleepless night after that.

When I woke up, everyone was bustling about, getting ready for the day off. “Jack! Y/N!” Rian called down to us. I guess neither of us had gotten up. “We’re going out to breakfast!”

I moaned in recognition, and heard nothing from Jack, so I assumed he had gone with them. I threw my covers off and went straight to the bathroom. When I got out, I saw a tall lanky man with bed head staring at me.

“Uh. Hello.” I said stupidly.

“Hey, uh. About last night.”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to say anything. I get it. I’m a backup singer for a reason.”

“No that’s not it! Um.” He stopped talking to look down at his feet. “Look. I know this is weird. Especially since I hardly know you. But, I’ve actually been following your band for a while. And dude, you’re like insanely hot. And then I find out you’re a good person too? Last night, hearing your singing it made me realize.. Fuck, this is so stupid. It made me realize I’m in love with you.” With the last uttering of  those words, he looked up at me. “Sorry.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I raised my eyebrows, completely awestruck. Jack Barakat, the celebrity crush of my teen years was telling me he was in love with me? When it looked like he in fact, was not kidding, I immediately blushed and looked away. “Dude. I’ve been in love with you since I was like 14.”

A smile lit up his face as he started talking really fast, rambling. “Oh my god! Really? Holy shit okay, so like we can go get breakfast with the others, or we can go get breakfast by ourselves, we could walk down the Seine, we are in France after all. Holy fu-”

I started laughing, but grabbed his hand with mine, since he was waving it all around. “Slow down there, I can barely keep up. Let’s go get breakfast first, and talk this out. You’ve basically been avoiding me since I got here.”

“Well yeah, I didn’t really know how to strike up a conversation.”

I chuckled. “This is weird, huh?”

“So weird.” He nodded in agreement. I realized I was still holding his hand, but I didn’t let go. Instead we walked off the bus, headed towards the cafe for breakfast. My heart was in my throat but this felt right. After the initial break of the ice, he wouldn’t shut up, but I loved hearing his voice. He could talk for hours on end if he really wanted to.

[shawn-does-stuff]

Krakow Q&A

Full Video -> HERE

"I'm finally here guys" -Shawn saying he's finally in Poland after 3 years of people asking for him to go there. — Q: Where were you in the morning? A: In the gym — Shawn's asking the fans how to say 'I love you' in Polish and some other words — Q: Would you like to fail or never try? A: To fail! Never trying sucks! — Q: How would you spend one day if you were a woman? A: I don't know I would probably do the same thing. — Q: Are you looking forward to the new season of the 100? A: I haven't seen the last two. Raven is my favorite. — Q: How are you doing? A: A lot of you asked this today, if I'm tired, I'm fine, thank you so much. — Q: Do you think about your future? A: All the time. That's all I think about actually. Don't stress about the future by the way, be more in the now. — "Poland and Brazil are tied....'COME TO POLAND COME TO POLAND'" -Shawn during the Q&A — Q: Day or night mode on twitter? A: I'm on night mode. — Q: Who's music did you listen to when you were a child? A: I listened to a lot of Jonas Brothers actually. — Q: Do you ever realize how easily you could've lived an entirely different life? A: Yeah, I think that's what keeps me feeling like I'm the luckiest person in the world, cause I know to be able to do this is one in a million & I don’t know why I got to do it but I just did & I’m the happiest person in the world because of that. so with that being said I’m gonna try really hard to make you guys happy always because I do appreciate it so much — "I think Polish people have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen in my life" — Q: What is your favorite relationship? A: I'm really close to Khalid, I love Khalid. Shawn: Oh! Who do I ship? I don't know! I don't want to get involved with that. — Q: What is your creative process like when writing a song? A: It's insane, it's like I'm in the bathroom showering and something comes up in my mind. I literally have two thousand voice notes in my phone. When I'm ready to write a song I just look back at my phone. — "I'm going to try my hardest not to fall on stage" — Q: Two years ago I gave you one of my drawings, what are the chances that you still have it? A: Probably very high because I keep everything, my dad has a lot of it. He has like MILLIONS of drawings, but I do have it, where it is? I don't know but I have it. — "I love Christmas time with my family" — Q: What's the best thing about being famous? A: You get to skip lines all the time, you don't have to wait anywhere. — Q: Do you ever considered involving dance in your concerts? A: You really want to see me dance? Fans: YEEEEEEES Shawn: No — Q: In a room full of people have you ever felt lonely and asked yourself "what am I doing here? I was supposed to be at home watching Netflix" A: I think it’s so wrong to tell yourself you’re supposed to be doing anything because I believe in fate and I believe in the fact that things are just meant to be the way they are so if you’re ever doing something and you say to yourself "I’m not supposed to be doing this" you are, because you're doing it. and that's just the truth so I don't really regret anything. I love what I do. There’re so many days I feel lonely and I call my mom and my sister and I’m one facetime with them for hours. — "I know you guys think Touring is crazy, IT IS crazy and exhausting but imagine how much energy you get when  you get up on stage in front of 20K people and everyone screaming it's the most exciting thing in the world so even if I was falling asleep right now- I would get on stage with so much energy. Always remember that, don't stress about me, ok?” — Q: Would you ever collaborate with Jack and Jack? A: Yeah sure one day, I love them. — Q: Did you heard anything about Poland before you come here? A: I heard two things, first everybody is gorgeous which is true...and then I heard you guys were crazy. — A fan asked Shawn if he could record a little video for her friend who is going through a hard time he said he couldn't cause everyone would ask but he said "Tell you friend that I'm thinking about her and I love her, and I hope she's doing well" — Q: Was it hard for you to decide that you didn't want to live in the usual way of life, college, work. A: I didn't really decide it. I think you go a lot of years doing what you love to do and you try to make career out of that. I was so lucky to find that at a really young age — Q: If you could pick one show what would it be? A: am I gonna get in trouble if I don't say Krakow? Crowd: yeah! Shawn: then my favorite show is Krakow! — "I would have stopped wearing plaid shirts a lot earlier in life because I basically wore plaid shirts every day of my life for years" — Q: How are you doing? A: You guys are so thoughtful! so many people came in today and said are you tired? and I’m like "Ahh a little tired" but no, I’m fine thank you so much. You’re so sweet. — Shawn: What’s your question? Fan: Mine? oh my god Shawn: Well we're doing this, so I don't know. — "I woke up today in Poland so excited! Because you guys are more excited than usual. Poland and Brazil are tied" — Q: could you play bohemian rhapsody or perfectly wrong tonight if not it’s okay? A: Ehhhh, maybe… — Q: What's your funniest story with Niall? A: Idk, Niall is like my older brother. Every time I'm with him I'm just laughing constantly for 6 hours. He's one of my favorite people ever. — Q: How do you deal with anxiety? A: I have very amazing people around me. I think it is so important to know that if you're feeling anxious that you need to talk about it to let it out and don't hold that in. — Q: What is the most difficult thing during the tour? A: I don't know! sometimes we have to be on a bus for 20 hours which is kinda hard but its not that hard because I have a bed on the bus and a TV.

(Questions and answers from @SMendesQandA and @sm3thetour on Twitter)

[collapsingintojupiter]

Meet My Sids

So because I have no impulse control and exactly one person asked (@remussvscohangout​)--which is more than enough to make my dumb little brain extremely excited--I’m gonna introduce y’all to my Sides. And because my brain’s a chaotic little slice of ADHD hell, they’re a little complicated, but I shall do my best to do those little fucks justice.

Now, without further ado:

Charlie. “Sarcasm.” They’re the one that possesses most of my philosophical views and ideas on society and such, and they tend to be a fairly quick-witted disher of snarky comments when things get heated--thus the title “sarcasm.” They love debating, and often tend to try and moderate the others during discussions/debates for the sake of my sanity. As a result, they do a lot of breaking up the others’ fighting (and in case you hadn’t guessed--yes, they fight a lot). Like, a lot. It gets rough, but Charlie’s pretty much unfazed by everything and they don’t mind it much.

Ah, new people! This is interesting, I’ve never gotten to really chat with those before. We should talk sometime, yeah?

Riley. “Passion.” Is an actual bastard and will fight you. Or Daven. Or anyone. Mostly Daven though, they fight with Daven a lot (we’ll get to them in a moment). Riley encompasses most of my emotions, and as a result seems to operate on exactly two modes about 90% of the time: confused as fuck and angry as fuck (you can thank my ADHD for that). Nobody, not even they, know what to do about the other 10%. Definitely a shoot first, ask questions later sort. A lot of the others’ energy goes into reigning them in and trying to stop them from getting me killed.

What--who the fuck is this?? New--wait, we’re on Tumblr? What the fuck? Why didn’t you all tell me before!?

Cora. “Reason.” Possesses my one braincell, which they may or may not occasionally share with Charlie depending on the circumstances. They go off on tangents a lot when something catches their attention/gets them excited, and they are absolutely enraptured by space especially. They love it. They could talk about it forever (and they probably would if the others would let them). When they’re excited, it’s worse than Logan with Crofters, and they can be fairly distractible. However, they usually seem exasperated in group conversations because nobody listens. Ever. The others aren’t very good at listening (and quite frankly neither are they).

Greetings. It is a pleasure to meet you.

Kinsley. “Imagination.” Wild and absolutely chaotic troublemaker and schemer. Acts and dresses like a pirate, with a very Jack Sparrow sort of air about them that is fairly difficult to catch on to and understand. They tend to be quite random and spontaneous, and ramble a lot as the controller of my ideas/creativity and imagination. They get scolded by Cora a lot for being “unreasonable” and “absurd,” not that they’d ever let that stop them. And yes, they know they’re crazy. They’re proud of it.

This is cool shit. We’re finally like, real and stuff! Gotta love that. You all are welcome.

Daven. “Anxiety.” Usually reminds me of my faults and insecurities about every 30 seconds and is constantly worrying over something/worrying me over something because holy shit what if and also I just thought of this other thing and while we’re on that...They’re fairly sarcastic, and they will fight you and they will have their way if they’re anxious enough. If they’re not fighting with their twin they’re fighting with Riley, and Cora and Charlie are almost always trying to break them up and calm Daven down so they don’t screw me over. (*Hint, they’re not always successful).

Well this is a bad idea. Everybody’s gonna hate this.

Devin. “Depression.” Daven’s twin and a bastard to boot; they’re extremely grumpy, usually half asleep, and never want to do anything. Ever.  And they hate being around people; they’ll do pretty much anything to get me away from them so I can be alone. And not do anything. Loves music. Hates Daven (or so they claim; everybody knows it’s a lie though). Actually does sort of care about me, though they’re very misguided and tend to hurt me more than they help.

Who the fuck woke me up for this? I have better things to do. Like sleep. Get out of my McDonald’s.

Shasta. “Heart.” Bascially the only optimistic side on this trainwreck of a team. Sort of the child in the group, and the only Side that everybody’s nice to--probably because they’re always nice to everyone else. Anybody that says anything even remotely rude to Shasta will pretty much immediately find themselves facing the full wrath of literally everyone else. Nobody disrespects the sunshine and music and puppy and glitter-loving baby in the household and lives. Anyways, they’re basically my inner sense of morals and desire to do good and be a better person and stuff. They don’t surface much (probably why everyone else is such an idiot), but when they do the others do tend to listen (at least, they try. as said before, they’re not too good on the whole “listening” thing).

Hi everyone! It’s so nice to meet you all, I hope you guys are having a nice day!

So yeah those are my Sides. If you want to know more about them or ask them questions or see something, just shoot me an ask!

Seriously I’m begging y’all I’m so bored and need something to do and also very lonely help me

[pmddnutter]

Running a business with PMDD

I suffer from a condition called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or PMDD for short, its sometimes referred to as severe PMS although it is certainly way worse than PMS.  It has only recently (May 2019) been recognised by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as a unique condition meaning that PMDD will be considered a separate condition to severe PMS, should see more funding and research and allow doctors across the world to standardise their terms.  Hopefully leading to more diagnoses and better treatment and understanding.

The WHO defines PMDD as:

“a pattern of mood symptoms (depressed mood, irritability), somatic symptoms (lethargy, joint pain, overeating), or cognitive symptoms (concentration difficulties, forgetfulness) that begin several days before the onset of menses, start to improve within a few days after the onset of menses, and then become minimal or absent within approximately 1 week following the onset of menses.”[i]

PMDD is debilitating, it has caused women to commit suicide.  There are no specific treatments for it; for some women hormonal contraception works well, for other antidepressants, and for a handful of women only a full hysterectomy has helped.  Whatever the treatments, PMDD is different for different women – it affects us all differently.

PMDD and Me

For me PMDD is that girl in high school that was a bit two faced, smiles to your face when she needs you but when your back is turned pulled that ‘urgh’ face and rolls her eyes to her ‘real’ mates – you know the one I mean.

She is never the same though, some months she can be quite mild and meek, maybe a bit of insomnia and overeating, sometimes a bit grumpy or irritable – kinda friendly but you know that there is a storm brewing.  Other months she is in full on Bitch Mode!  She makes me believe my husband is having an affair, she makes me eat ALL DAY, she tells me I’m no good, she makes me want to get in my car and drive as far away as possible.

And when you have this whilst running your own one-man band business it’s really bloody hard!  As a small business owner hand making you own products you already question yourself pretty much daily; is my stuff any good, why do people buy it, why aren’t people buying it, shall I just jack it in and go back to ‘real’ work full time?  So, add PMDD into the mix and I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and I bloody hate rollercoasters!

With PMDD I get these amazing times of euphoria, exciting manic times where my creativity and enthusiasm are in overdrive and OMG these times are awesome.  I come up with some of my best work during this time, my marketing strategies all just seem to work, I love being around people and go out and network loads.

But then I have to crash, and I kinda know I will but I never know how hard.  Sometimes I’ll just have a teary day, one where nothing goes right, I miss stamp literally everything and nothing I post on social media is interesting, so no one comments.  But sometimes this just lasts 1 day and I don’t even realise until my period starts that this day happened.  But other times I crash bad…  I just hate everyone and everything, my customer service goes out of the window as everyone is against me.  Why bother posting on social media as I can’t make it sound nice or enthusiastic.  I spend pretty much all day holding back the tears and my horrible attitude, I just want to stay in bed but I can’t sleep, I eat EVERYTHING in sight and I literally have to force myself to do even the most menial of tasks.

One of the very worst things about these really deep lows is that I don’t recognise myself, I am usually (for the other 2/3 weeks of the month) a really happy and enthusiastic person which is why I sometimes don’t even realise the manic days have happened until the low starts.  The lows that scare me are the ones where I don’t want to be around people, especially when you have a house to run with 2 small children and a husband and a part time job.  The ones where I just can’t seem to snap out of it, I know I’m in deep, I can’t stop myself saying some nasty things and snapping at those closest to me.  The lows where any orders I get don’t matter, they’ll probably just hate it when it arrives anyway so what’s the point making it at all.  Any messages I get I just can’t be arsed to reply as the questions are just so inane and pointless, or they’re just moaning at me for no reason – no your order that you placed 10 mins ago won’t be with you tomorrow as I have to HAND MAKE IT!  I have to stop myself replying with a message saying ‘won’t you just f*ck off already, you’ll get it when I decide you’re worthy enough to make my crappy handmade sh*t that you probably won’t like anyway and you won’t bother to leave me any feedback even if you do’ (that’s a whole other blog for another time!)

So why am I writing this blog now?

It is now December 2019 and I’ve been trying to write this since PMDD awareness month back in April 2019!  At the beginning of the month I had a plan to do some awesome posts about it, create some keyrings, maybe even raise some money.  Then it hits… why would anyone want to buy any of my keyrings, I’d be doing the cause a grave injustice in creating such shit products.  Believe me, the irony of this is not lost!  The irony of the negative thoughts is never lost once I come out the other side, and it’s this irony that delays me getting the help I need.  A few days passes and you convince yourself that it wasn’t so bad, it was just you feeling a bit blue for a day.  You get on with life, looking after the kids, bury yourself in work; the high is well and truly convincing you that you are absolutely fine and that next month won’t be so bad.  But then you notice the date, it’s a few days before you are due to ovulate and here we go again…

I went to my GP in May 2019 as the symptoms were not getting any better and asked to have the hormonal coil fitted again as it had helped me so much before I had my second baby.  It was fitted in June this year and I waited the 3 months to see if it would help, it unfortunately didn’t and in October I had one of my worst lows to date.  It was horrendous and I booked a GP appointment at 2am after being awake for nearly 48hrs, having eaten god knows how much food, drunk far too much wine and cried at every little thing I watched.  I saw my GP a couple of weeks later, obviously I was feeling much better but I am determined to get this thing sorted and she was amazing and we went through the options and I decided on trying oestrogen for the 2 weeks prior to my cycle.  I had to giggle to myself when reading the instructions; firstly because I have to rub 1 squirt of this gel into my thigh at the same time every day, and secondly because this is effectively HRT given to older ladies at the time of the change LOL!

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like this is working for me, I’m 4 days before I am normally due on and the symptoms are back.  Definitely not as severe as the October crash but the feelings of annoyance, self-doubt and pointlessness of it all are here, my next step is perhaps anti-depressants, so I’ll book an appointment with the GP and see what the next steps are.

My battle with PMDD and keeping sane for my business continues, even as I write this I am questioning all my plans for 2020. I have/had some great ideas but that little well of anxiety is brewing up again and I’m thinking it’ll just be better/easier to scrap it all. I won’t though, I’ll step away from social media, take some time out for me (although with this comes the Mum Guilt fun) and give myself a good talking to that this will pass and next week I’ll be buzzing and posting non-stop and bugging everyone again! Until next month…

Thanks for reading,

Emma xx

For more information and guidance for PMDD please check out the MIND website here or IAPMD here, or feel free to drop me a message.

You can also download an app to track your symptoms here.

[i] https://iapmd.org/position-statements-1/2019/6/11/world-health-organization-adds-premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd-into-the-icd-11