#living with pmdd

[pmdd-and-it-showz]

[living-with-pmd]

Comic from the Washington Post

[judgmental-eyebrows]

one of the worst things about having PMDD is how embarrassing it is. like, I know I’m going to Not Be Me for part of the month. I think I’m ready for it, that I’m prepared and this time, I’ll be in control! and then in the moment, the world is ending. everyone hates me. I’m paranoid. there are tears. there’s rage. my mood swings around in a whole damn circle. and then my period comes and I’m fine and sane again!

[fl0rescer8]

[iam9inwonderland]

Worst thing about PMDD is that the thoughts feel so damn real each time

[pseudowho]

Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder

So, while I normally don't post hypersensitive things about me on here, I'm going to share an important thing I'm going through.

Since I've had children, and my menstrual cycles have become more regular (as they often do once you've had children), it's become apparent that patches of anxiety and depression that I've had since my teens, are actually cyclical, and related entirely to the progesterone spike that women experience post-ovulation.

This progesterone spike makes most women a bit hornier, a bit more emotional with some mood swings, bloated with sore boobs, a bit hungrier. This is what's called PMS.

For me, this progesterone spike ties me up and throws me into the back seat of a car. Someone else is driving and all I can do is watch on in mute horror as they drive. I become irrational, hyper-anxious, suicidal, aggressive, unable to cope with even the most basic daily demands, my hips hurt badly, I'm exhausted but can't sleep, and I cannot see a way out of the dark.

Having been diagnosed now as severe and at risk, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, with a wonderful doctor who is an ex-colleague of mine, placing me on a new treatment of continuous oestrogen patches (almost like nicotine patches), to stop ovulation and stop that deadly progesterone peak.

It means I will no longer have periods and no longer go through the monthly hormonal changes that cause me so much misery, and turn me into someone that I know I'm not.

While it will likely take some dose titration to get the dose perfect for me, I actually cried with happiness when she handed me the prescription which may actually save my life.

And all for free, on our wonderful NHS.

Just a small snippet of my life behind the writing. Like I said, I don't normally share much about things like this. Just fancied it this evening.

As always, the wonderful @mrhaitch is my safe haven.

If you're interested and have read this far, thank you! Writing continues to be my chiefest method of relaxation, and I love coming to play.

All my love, as always,

☝️ @mrhaitch when I'm finally better, probably.

-- Haitch xxx

[bigbadbatch]

Euclid - A Bad Batch Oneshot

Hunter x Reader /TBB x Reader

Hurt/Comfort- Heavy mental health mentions. (PMDD)

Listening Recommendation/ Euclid by Sleep Token

This fic is very personal to me as I’ve made some of my struggles very open and vulnerable. It brought me some peace to write it, so I hope it helps those who read it.

The room was dark. The blankets wrapped around you felt like an anchor. You hadn’t left your bed in 20 hours. Every move sent the already grinding pain in your back and abdomen into a spiral, but more than that, you had no energy or resolve to move. To turn over in your blanket-nest took all the strength you had. You were hollow. Empty. Too empty for tears though the ache that had made a home in your chest gnawed at you for release. This had lasted forever and felt like it would continue to last forever.

A quiet knock sounded at your door.

“Can I come in?” Hunter’s voice was quiet on the other side. You didn’t have a voice to answer him.

The door opened, and light spilled in. Feeling exposed, like a little kid again, you pulled the covers up over your head and made yourself as small as possible. The mattress at your back dipped as a body at first sat, then lay beside you. It was quiet for a time, but you could feel the heat radiating from Hunter’s body as he lay silent next to you.

“Mesh’la, it’s time to get up. We have to get up now.” He said.

All the others had tried. Wrecker promising pancakes or cookies, Tech with screens of holo-films, Echo tempting with outings. Nothing worked.

Omega had been the first to notice, to your and Hunter’s suprise. It happened every month, intertwined with your cycle. Where other human females had some emotional disruptions, some moodiness or slight pain, you had extremes. A darkness settled over you once the moon waxed full, and it pulled you down into unreachable depths. The first few times it happened with the Batch, the whole crew came together to combat it with you. Hot soups, warm blankets, funny stories. It worked for a time. You didn’t have the heart to tell them that it would get worse, it always did. The latter half of the year, near the Winter Solstice of your home planet, it always became hungry and feral. No matter what planet you were on, even the tropics of Pabu, your body responded to the cold emptiness of your home, and you fell into its hold. A prisoner in your own body.

Hunter’s warm arms wrap around you. “Please my love. Can we just take a short walk? Just you and me? Then we can come right back. I promise.”

You weigh the options. Your bones felt so brittle it was as if they’d break. Your heart a leaden stone in your chest. But Hunter- he would do anything for you, move mountains for you. You could try, not for yourself, but for him.

Without speaking you untangle yourself from your covers, slowly. Everything moved slowly. You sat up, taking a moment. Hunter sat up with you, hand gripping yours as he swung to be beside you. “That’s it, cyar’ika. Almost there.” With his support you stand. You grab the thinnest blanket and wrap it around you for protection, against the outside and others.

Holding your hand, your arm looped through his, Hunter leads you outside. The moon is up, a crescent on Pabu, and the stars sparkle above you. “I thought the light might be too much. It’s quieter out right now. I just want you to get some fresh air, some movement in.” Hunter rambled. You stayed silent. You walked down the stairs to the beach, and made your way down the shore. You legs felt heavier and heavier, though the pain was subsiding. You were just so tired. You came to a stop, pulling Hunter to you. You looked up at him and your first words of the rotation came out in a hoarse whisper. “Can we sit down?” He nods and helps you to the sand, sitting beside you. You instantly lay your head on his shoulder, and he kisses the crown of you. “Almost out of it, my love.” He says. “You’ll be better soon.” Finally, it’s as if the dam bursts, and tears flood your eyes and fall down your cheeks. He holds you tighter, and brushes your hair from your face, petting you as he whispers kind words to you. You sob into him, breaking apart in his arms. “You’re safe mesh’la. I got you. You are so strong, you are so brave. We got this, me and you. We got this, together.” You cry until you can’t anymore. With the gentle sound of waves flowing in and out from the sea, you match your breathing to the tide.

With great assistance, Hunter gets you back to your room, and into bed. Fresh water and a plate of snacks sits on your bedside table, courtesy of Wrecker. Your stomach turns but you sip the water. Hunter tucks you in and goes to leave, a kiss on your brow as he whispers goodnight, but you grab his hand. “Stay. Please.” He does.

—

Two mornings later you wake and feel… different. Your self comes fluttering to you, weak but warm. You arms and legs ache for stretching, for weight and movement. You take off the covers.

You get out of bed.

You open the door of your room and pad into the living room, where you can hear laughter and the quiet sounds of breakfast being cooked. The room quiets just a little when you enter. Omega stands immediately, “Let me make you a plate!”

And she does.

And you eat.

And with your family at your side you take a deep breath in.

You smile.

[ashleyxnicol]

i’m convinced that pmdd is a life-stealer. i want to enjoy life. i want to create. but all my creativity has wilted.

[silly-gremline]

Does anyone have any PMDD survival tips? It’s my first cycle off of birth control and im in my luteal phase, and I was NOT prepared for the emotional turmoil. Help 😭

[theodditylacey]

when y’all notice my posts getting more depressing that’s when the PMDD kicks in, and when they go back to normal that’s cause my period is over 🫡

[dragonheartstring360]

if you’ve ever wondered what PMDD is like, I just texted someone “I feel like I’m trapped in my own body and wanna rip a way out.” So that’s. Fun.

[pmdd-and-it-showz]

[living-with-pmd]

[thesiouxzy]

[maroontragedy]

pmdd is so weird. your brain's like "hmmm getting a period in a week? better start feeling so depressed and on the verge of suicide too. spice it up with tremors, fainting, insomnia, migraines, muscle pain..."

[spooky-salesman]

Ughhhwhhh what they don’t tell you about Pmdd is how much if literally fist fights your other disorders. Like I have such bad artblock suddenly and just straight up depression right now, but also at the same time. My Audhd makes me want to do 10 different other things, and since I don’t have the energy to do it it makes me wanna have a meltdown. I’m like actually rolling around my bed in pure frustration rn 💀

Fuck Pmdd bruh and fuck that post P depression.