Rosali Live Preview: 4/18, Empty Bottle, Chicago
Photo by Asia Harman
BY JORDAN MAINZER
Isn't it remarkable that Destroyer's Dan Bejar, the king of obtuseness, managed to so deftly nail his description of Bite Down (Merge), the fourth album from indie rock musician Rosali? Bejar referred to Rosali's instrumental and lyrical evolution as sporting a "hard-won ease;" I couldn't help but come back to that phrase when listening to standout track "Hills on Fire". As Rosali Middleman gently sings validations like, "That color looks so good on you," her backing band, David Nance's Mowed Sound, hint at something darker, James Schroeder's guitars growing increasingly scraggly. Eventually, Middleman sings, "I can be hellish and awful, too / Anger built in my youth." It's a moment where you realize that Bite Down shows Rosali as wise in her reflective realism, while still avoiding cynicism and leaving room for hope.
Bite Down was written after Rosali moved from her long-time home of Philadelphia to North Carolina; it concerns physical and emotional change while remaining astonishingly present. That interplay is reflected in both her words and the band's instrumentation. Take "Rewind", an easygoing, earnest, romantic country rock song that sees the silver lining in bad times. Eventually, the band's subtle freak-outs yield effects that sound like someone attempting to whoosh back in time but being held back and reminded to live in the moment. On "Slow Pain", Middleman dives head first into her angst, atop steady, pattering drums from Kevin Donahue and Schroeder's restrained lead guitar. "Have you seen my grief? Hold it so I don't spill out," she sings. The song eventually lets you into Middleman's head with piercing guitars resisting being muted, as she describes, "Killing time with the slow pain." And the title track fights despair with Ted Bois' groovy keyboard lines and Megan Siebe's warm cello, Middleman reaching out for help: "I can't seem to bring myself ashore / Put aside your foolish pride / To move beyond the rising tide."
Photo by Harrison Martin
Sure, there are a few songs on Bite Down that center on moods more static: ennui ("Hopeless"), pain ("Is It Too Late"), even horniness (earworm opener "On Tonight"). But it all comes together on the building, burning closer "May It Be on Offer". "And I do wonder / And waste my life / No, I don't wonder / If I waste my life," Middleman sings, clarifying that she knows that "[sitting] for hours / Gazing at the light" is what most would consider bed rotting. As the song progresses, though--keyboard humming, guitars fluttering--Middleman's outlook is brighter. "There is hope upon me / There is reason to try," she sings, a hymnal, or maybe a lullaby, singing herself not to sleep but back to that hard-won ease.
Rosali plays the Empty Bottle tonight, with a backing band of Nance, Schroeder, and Donahue. Local indie rockers Fran open. Doors at 8 PM, show at 9. Tickets still available at time of publication.
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Looking for a good read about or by sapphic women or gay/bi men?
Look no further! I gave all these books 4 or 5 stars when I read them.
Lesbian and bisexual women (subject and author):
Two or three things I know for sure by Dorothy Allison (lesbian memoir)
My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Kabi Nagata (graphic novel, lesbian memoir)
The Sealed Letter by Emma Donahue (historic fiction, bisexual woman and lesbian wlw relationship)
Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabi Rivera (ya contemporary, lesbian mc)
Fried Green Tomatoes at The Whistlestop Cafe by Fannie Flagg (historic fiction, butch/femme wlw)
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden (ya lesbian classic)
The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall (historic fiction, lesbian classic)
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (historic fiction, bisexual woman and lesbian wlw relationship)
Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo and Me by Ellen Forney (graphic novel, memoir- even though it’s mainly about bipolar disorder mostly she is bisexual and it’s mentioned in the novel)
Lesbian or Bisexual Woman author (not necessarily an LGBT subject):
Mrs. Dalloway, To the Lighthouse and A Room of One’s Own all by Virginia Woolf (bisexual author)
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (bisexual author)
The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters (lesbian author)
The Yellow Wallpaper (and other stories) by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (bisexual author)
The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls by Emilie Autumn (bisexual author)
Passing by Nella Larsen (bisexual author)
Transgender Topics:
Female Husbands: A Trans History by Jen Manion (LGBT history- only concerns relationships between historic AFAB couples and AFAB people who lived as men for many reasons- wider career opportunities and being able to marry a woman were the two most common reasons cited across all stories chronicled)
Gay Men and Bisexual Men (subject and/or author):
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (historic fiction, Greek Myths)
Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin (gay author, essays on race in America)
Boy meets Boy by David Leviathan (ya contemporary mlm romance)
If We were Villains by M. L. Rio (ya, dark academia, mystery)
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (historic fiction, bisexual mlm, ya) The two sequels also have more lgbt characters.
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MY CHARMED ONE [8]
Capri Donahue x Harper Sibling!fem reader
Warnings: coarse language, descriptions of injury, hospitalisation, angst, fluff
In which Capri suffers from an injury that would affect her future
“Still nothing?” Your Dad asks.
“Nothing.” You sigh, “You?”
“Her Mom’s phone went straight to voicemail. Her Dad’s phone wasn’t even on.”
“Alright- I popped by Capri’s, no one’s home.” Darby announced.
“No one’s seen her? Not even James?”
Darby shook her head sadly. “Damn it I should’ve just went to school today.”
“I didn’t even see her.”
“What?” You nearly dropped your phone. “She said she was in school and would give me my homework for the day. After cheerleading- oh, crap.”
“What, what’s wrong?” Your Dad asks worriedly.
“Hey, Piper?” You got up and walked to the kitchen, “I haven’t heard from Capri since this morning. Is she alright?”
“No one told you anything yet? Shit, I’m so sorry- Capri got hurt at cheer practice. She’s in the hospital.”
“What happened? Is she okay? Like- is she awake-”
“She’s awake, she just has a broken wrist. And a sprained ACL.”
“Oh, thank God.” You huffed, “Which hospital is she at? Okay, thanks Taylor.”
“I can take you there, honey.” Your Dad offers. “No, it’s okay Dad. You have your work to do- I can take her.” Darby offered.
“Okay.” He shrugged, “Update me. And tell her I said hi.”
“Yeah, yeah. Bye, Dad.”
Once you two got to the hospital, you practically ran to the room where the nurse told you Capri was. You didn’t even bother knocking and just entered. “Oh, my God. I was so worried.” You instantly went to her side, sitting down on the plastic chair.
“I’ll be okay.” She places a hand on yours, “I just needed some time to process everything.”
Her eyes…they were so red. She’d been crying.
You cup her cheek, caressing it with your thumb, “It’s alright, Capri. What happened?” You asked her mother.
“I landed awkwardly, broke my wrist and my ACL is torn.” She said with a sniffle.
Something else wasn’t right- Capri seemed oddly calm…or was she just all cried out? Sustaining an injury like this meant that cheer was no longer in her future.
“Taylor told me it was a sprain.” You glanced at her Mom.
“The doctors did a more thorough check because of the intensity of her symptoms and it wasn’t just a sprain.” Her Mom explained.
Oh, fuck.
“I’m gonna give you girls a minute. I’ll be in the cafeteria for a bit to get something to eat.” Her Mom says, coming over to kiss Capri on the head before she leaves, “You guys want anything?”
Capri shook her head, you said no. So, her Mom leaves. Once that door closes, you watched Capri closely, expecting the waterworks to begin. And they did. You hugged her as she wept, rubbing her back to provide her with some comfort.
Everything she’s worked for her whole life was taken away from her suddenly. Her whole life was to change from here on out- her goals and dreams? Shattered.
“I just- I don’t know what I should do, y/n. I don’t have to work for the cheer scholarship anymore, and I just-” She began shakily, “What do I do then? All I’ve been working for was for cheer.”
“Capri, right now. Just focus on yourself- getting better, getting stronger.” You told her, “In life, a lot of things will change and we can never be fully prepared for everything. You get good grades, you’re really smart…you’re gonna do just fine no matter which path you end up taking.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Baby, I know you. And I know that you always fall and get back up. You’re feisty. You don’t give up- you always figure it out.”
“What if I don’t this time?” She snivelled.
“And that’s okay too. We’ll take things as they come- focus on what we do have. I’m always gonna be by your side.” You pulled away from the embrace slowly, wiping her tears away, “I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to have your life flipped upside down so suddenly. But we have our whole lives ahead of us.”
“I’m sorry.” She lays back down against the pillow, “I’m just in a lot of pain right now and so frustrated because everything is gone…as much as I feel freer because I don’t have cheer to stress me out, I also disappointed my parents.”
“Honey…” You grabbed her good hand, “Don’t ever say that. None of this is your fault-”
“Isn’t it, though? I have powers now…don’t you think I could’ve at least done something to make sure it wasn’t this bad?”
“Capri…please don’t blame yourself. No one could’ve expected this. Much less you- being the one experiencing the fall.”
“Thank you, baby.” Capri exhales, “I guess I just need some time to let everything settle down.”
“Of course, babe. Whatever you need. Take all the time you need, alright? The sport’s been a big part of your life.”
————
“Girls, you’re back. How’s Capri?” Your Dad was tidying the place up.
“Broken wrist, torn ACL. So no more cheer for her.” Darby answered on your behalf, “She’s upset and understandably so- but we believe she’ll be okay with time.”
“Honey, are you okay?” Your Dad asks you.
“I will. Just that seeing her like that- crying and crying…it messed with my head a little. It was just hard to watch.” You admitted. He hugs you, “I’ll bet. How about you go wash up and we’ll go get some ice cream, hm? How’s that?”
“Okay.”
“Alright, attagirl.” He rubs your back and gave you a gentle nudge towards the stairs. Once you’d gone upstairs, he and Darby talked. “The things have just happened, so it’s normal for them to be upset. But you know, they’ll be okay.”
“Of course, hun. I just- can’t imagine Capri not doing cheer.” Your Dad replies quietly.
“Me neither, but nothing compares to what she herself must be feeling. It is a painful injury.” Darby sighs.
“Do you wanna join us for ice cream?”
“I’m actually going to dinner with Alex, remember? I’m meeting his parents.”
“Oh, right. You mentioned that a few days ago.” Your Dad recalls, “Good luck, sweetheart. Have a good time, though.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Darby gives him a hug then went upstairs as well to get ready. After you were done getting changed, you and your Dad took a drive to your favourite ice cream parlour. “I really appreciate you doing this for me, Dad.”
“Don’t even mention it, sweetheart. We all need a little treat sometimes.”
You gave Capri the time and space she needed that night and she texts you the next morning just as she’d promised- right before she went for the surgery to reconstruct her ACL. She sent you a voice memo and there was no way in hell she’d fake her emotions this way- she’s never had. So you knew she was okay despite admitting to being scared to go under- you would be too. But, after surgery, Capri was allowed to go home. And when she did get home, she called and asked if you could go over. After letting your Dad know, you were off.
Capri’s mom let you in and gave you a hug. “She’s right there on the couch.”
“Okay.” You nod, heading for the living area immediately. “Hi, you.”
“Hey.” She smiles when she sees you, puckering up her lips for a kiss, “Missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I’m high.” She revealed out of the blue. You bit back a laugh. “She is. She’s on a pretty strong pain medication right now.” Her mother chuckled, “It’s okay, you can laugh. She’s been saying some really ridiculous things.”
“Hey!” Capri gasped, offended.
“You have, honey. Okay, I’m gonna be going to the grocery store in a few, you want me to pick up anything, you two?”
Capri giggles, “Can you get me pudding cups? Banana flavoured.”
“Of course.” Her Mom agrees. “y/n, why don’t you stay for dinner tonight, hm?”
“Sure, if you guys want me to.” You shrugged.
Her Mom confirmed, “Mhm.”
“Okay, then I will.” You agreed. As her Mom headed out, you suddenly remembered you had something for Capri in your purse, “It’s not much, but I stopped on my way over here to get you your favourite cookies from the place we go to.”
“Aw.” Her face lit up with a smile, “Baby, thank you so much.”
“Anything to see you smile.” You chuckled.
“You’re pretty.” She grins.
“Okay, honey. Thank you.” You guffawed.
“You are~” She proceeds to poke you in the cheek, “I’m so lucky. And I’m so high.”
“We know that, honey.” You kinda just let her do what she wanted- poking your cheek then cupping it in her hand. “My Mom says it’s okay if I can’t do cheer anymore…my Dad too.”
“Oh?” That was relief.
“I mean, technically…” She bites into the cookie, “I can, but the risk of getting hurt again? Capri Donahue is not a dumbass, no. I can find something else to do. In fact…I think I already have.”
“What is it?”
“Fashion, maybe baking.” Capri chuckles airily, taking a very close look at the partially eaten cookie. “No, but really, fashion or art.”
“Huh. You were always pretty good at sewing and stuff.”
“Right.” Capri nodded, “You want some?”
“No, babe. It’s okay, it’s for you.”
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Birthdays 1.27
Beer Birthdays
Henry Hubach (1843)
Kaiser Wilhelm II; German emperor (1888)
Peter Kruger (1970)
Logan Plant (1979)
Five Favorite Birthdays
Lewis Carroll; writer (1832)
Bridget Fonda; actor (1964)
Frank Miller; comic artist, writer (1957)
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; composer (1756)
Mordecai Richler; Canadian writer (1931)
Famous Birthdays
Mikhail Baryshnikov; dancer (1948)
Bobby "Blue" Bland; singer (1930)
Cris Collinsworth; Cincinnati Bengels WR, broadcaster (1959)
Joyce Compton; actor (1907)
James Cromwell; actor (1940)
Alan Cumming; actor (1965)
Troy Donahue; actor (1936)
Samuel Foote; English writer, actor (1720)
Samuel Gompers; labor activist (1850)
William Randolph Hearst; publisher (1908)
Skitch Henderson; bandleader (1918)
Lil Jon; rapper (1971)
Jerome Kern; composer (1885)
Nick Mason; rock musician (1944)
Dmitri Mendeleev; chemist, discovered periodic table of elements (1834)
Keith Olbermann; television broadcaster (1959)
Patton Oswalt; comedian (1969)
Samuel Palmer; artist (1805)
Donna Reed; actor (1921)
Hyman G. Rickover; navy admiral (1900)
Mimi Rogers; actor (1956)
Sabu; actor (1924)
David Seville; Alvin & The Chipmunks creator (1919)
Samuel C.C. Ting; physicist (1936)
Kate Wolff; folk singer (1942)
Steve Wynn; businessman, casino/hotel owner (1942)
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