#jessica watches csi

[eyes-above--the-waves]

CSI Miami really had the AUDACITY to call an episode "Speed Kills" a mere 7 episodes after I had to watch them kill off Speed, like did they not understand that people would still be in MOURNING!?!?

(Also I realize that no one here still cares about this show or these characters but I have no one else to rant to)

[judgementdaysunshine]

Can I request Naomi rn babes? If so can you pls make me a Naomi request?

🥰

Shared self care

Pairing: Naomi x Fem reader

Description: You and Naomi spend your day off together taking care of yourselves and each other

You wake up smiling when you see Naomi walking in with a tray of food, eating breakfast in bed while watching tv as you wake up. The two of you watch reruns of the golden girls and binge watch episodes of CSI while doing each other's nails and hair having yours in braids and hers in two buns before watching all three rush hour's along with both Bill and Ted movies before having lunch downstairs texting the twins who had wondered where the two of you were usually because sometimes the two of you would visit with them on some of your shared days off together telling them you both were staying in for the day going washing dishes while naomi did laundry before heading back upstairs and watching more movies pulling out masks you each kept in your makeup drawers putting on a long movie before starting with lip masks giggling at each other as you put them on, next was feet masks occasionally playing footsies under the blanket, then the hand masks making each other laugh moving your arms or grabbing your cups to take sips of your drinks, and finally the face masks came into play singing Whitney Houston and Christina Aguilera for the last bit before finishing up on the masks and drawing a warm bubble bath to have together along with glasses of wine. You both relax in each other's embrace domestically washing each other and laying in the water until you both started getting cold, after drying off and putting shirts and shorts on the two of you have dinner and did some more laundry and sweeping before heading back upstairs and to bed watching 13 going on 30 and Kissing Jessica Stein until the two of you were tangled together asleep feeling calmer and more relaxed than either of you had been in a long time within these past few months.

[skinnyscottishbloke]

Some housekeeping of shows I want to watch over the winter. More below the cut.

SHOWS TO FINISH

1. Black Sails (2/4)

2. Peaky Blinders (5/6)

3. Brooklyn 99 (5/8)

4. The Mentalist (4/7)

5. Justified (3/6)

6. The West Wing (3/7)

7. Sex Education (3/4)

8. Cold Case (4/7)

9. OUAT (6/7)

10. MI-5/Spooks (4/10)

11. ANTM (22/24)

12. Outlander (6/8)

13. Grace and Frankie (5/7)

SHOWS TO WATCH FOR THE FIRST TIME

1. Ted Lasso

2. Our Flag Means Death

3. Foundation

4. Staged

5. Young Royals

6. *continue DT’s filmography*

7. Love Victor

SHOWS I’VE STARTED BUT WILL (PROBABLY) NEVER FINISH

1. Reign

2. Agents of Shield

3. The 100

4. Friends

5. House

6. Arrow

7. Queer As Folk (US)

8. Weeds

9. How to Get Away with Murder

10. Attack on Titan

SHOWS I’M CURRENTLY WATCHING/ RE-WATCHING

1. Buffy (via reaction)

2. Leverage (w/ Rowan)

3. Fellow Travelers (currently airing)

4. Good Omens (via reaction)

5. DW (13’s seasons)

6. catching up on Taskmaster (s08-11, s13-16)

7. catching up on Drag Race (Mexico s01, Brazil s01, UK s05, Germany s01)

SHOWS I HAVE SEEN ALL OF THAT ARE DONE

1. The Tudors (4/4)

2. The White Queen/The White Princess/The Spanish Queen/The Serpent Queen (all 1/1)

3. Buffy (7/7)

4. Angel (5/5)

5. Pillars of the Earth (1/1)

6. HIMYM (9/9)

7. Psych (8/8 + movies)

8. Bones (11/11)

9. Broadchurch (3/3)

10. North and South (1/1)

11. BBC Merlin (5/5)

12. BBC Robin Hood (3/3)

13. Downton Abbey (6/6 + movies)

14. Sense8 (2/2 + special)

15. Jessica Jones (2/2)

16. Daredevil (3/3)

17. The Defenders (1/1)

18. Luke Cage (2/2)

19. Iron Fist (2/2)

20. Game of Thrones (8/8)

21. BBC Sherlock (yes it’s done LOL) (4/4)

22. ATLA (3/3)

23. LOK (5/5)

24. Vicar of Dibley (3/3)

25. OG Gossip Girl (6/6)

26. Leverage (5/5)

27. Versailles (3/3)

28. Veronica Mars (3/3 + movie + reboot)

29. Firefly (1/1 + movie)

30. Castle (8/8)

31. 1995 P&P (1/1)

32. Glee (6/6)

33. Agent Carter (2/2)

SHOWS I’M CURRENT ON BUT ARE STILL ONGOING

1. Heartstopper (2/?)

2. Good Omens (2/ prob 3)

3. Wheel of Time (2/?)

4. Rings of Power (1/?)

5. Drag Race US (15/?)

6. Drag Race All Stars (8/?)

7. Leverage: Redemption (2/?)

8. Queer Eye (7/?)

SHOWS I’VE HEARD OF BUT NEVER WATCHED MORE THAN AN EP OR 2 (AND PROBABLY WON’T)

1. Supernatural

2. any of the Star Treks

3. Breaking Bad

4. NCIS

5. JAG

6. Dexter

7. Chuck

8. Grey’s Anatomy

9. Community

10. The Office (UK or US)

11. Parks and Rec

12. Orange is the New Black

13. Black Mirror

14. Sons of Anarchy

15. One Piece

16. Dragon Ball Z

17. Full Metal Alchemist

18. The Vampire Diaries

19. The OC

20. Dawson’s Creek

21. Gilmore Girls

22. Teen Wolf

23. 24

24. Emily in Paris

25. CSI

26. 911 or any spin offs

27. Scrubs

28. Family Guy

29. The Simpsons

[wipbigbang]

WIPBB 2023 - Fic & Art Master List (# - L)

Below is the master list of all the bragging rights/posts that were posted to Tumblr and Dreamwidth, organized alphabetically by fandom from numbers to L. Please go show these people some love for all the hard work they did!

9-1-1

Beyond Appearances: Art (Evan Buckley/Sophia Diaz)

When You Say My Name: Fic | Art Post 1 | Art Post 2 (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz)

A Song Of Ice and Fire/Game Of Thrones

Watch the world burn; i set it all alight for you: Fic/Art (Jon Snow/Daenerys Targarean)

Angel: the Series/Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Deep Dark Sky: Fic (Connor/Dawn Summers)

Bungou Stray Dogs

half-time soulmate, full-time problem (so hold me like a grudge): Fic | Art (Nakahara Chuuya/Dazai Osamu)

Chalion Saga/World of the Five Gods

Penric's Last Ride: Fic | Art (Penric, Desdemona, the Bastard)

Criminal Minds

Half Broke Horses: Fic (Art On AO3) (Alex Blake/Emily Prentiss)

DC Comics

Batman

Fatherhood: Fic | Art (Implied Bruce Wayne/Jim Gordon)

right place, wrong time: Fic | Art (Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne)

Batman/Green Arrow

Grains of the Golden Sand: Fic (Dick Grayson/Roy Harper)

DC Comics (Batman)/Prodigal Son

9 Crimes: Fic | Art (Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Malcolm Bright, Gil Arroyo, Jessica Whitly, Jim Gordon, Harvey Bullock, Alfred Pennyworth, The Joker, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson)

Dead Poets Society

Spotlight: Fic (Chris Noel/Ginny Danburry)

Disney

Disney's Descendants

And I won’t lie down, roll over, and die: Fic (Gil/Harry Hook/Uma)

Nothing in this world by myself to protect me: Fic (Jay/Carlos De Vil, Evie/Mal, Evie/Jay, Evie/Carlos de Vil, Evie/Jay/Mal/Carlos de Vil, Ben/Mal, Ben/Jay, Jay/Mal, Mal/Carlos de Vil, Ben/Evie)

Disney Fairies

Death at the Hollow: Fic/Art (Fawn/Nyx)

Encanto

A Single Thread of The Tapestry: Fic | Art (Camilo & Mirabel, Camilo & Mirabel & Mariano, Mirabel & Camilo & Madrigal family)

How do you know what your life is worth: Fic | Art (Camilo & Mirabel, Mirabel & Pepa, Isabela & Pepa, Isabela & Luisa, Luisa & Abuela & Bruno, Bruno & Camilo, Félix & Julieta, Agustín & Dolores, Félix/Pepa, Agustín/Julieta)

Doctor Who/The Picture of Dorian Gray/Torchwood

Passing Through: Art (Dorian Gray/Jack Harkness)

Dracula/Jane Eyre/Sherlock Holmes (ACD Canon)

A Field of Thorns: Fic (Sherlock Holmes/Dracula)

Dragon Age II

Kindling: Fic | Art (Fem!Hawke/Fenris)

Set Yourself On Fire: Fic | Art (Marian & Garrett, Marian & Carver, Marian & Varric, Referenced Fenris/F!Hawke and Anders/M!Hawke)

ER (NBC)

Touch and Go: Fic | Art (Abby Lockhart/Kerry Weaver)

Final Fantasy IV/Final Fantasy VI/Final Fantasy IX/Final Fantasy X

Magical Girl Rydia - Summon the Four Warriors of Light!: Fic On Dreamwidth | Fic On Tumblr (Rydia/Yuna)

Generation Kill

Bradley the Damned: Fic/Art (Brad Colbert/Nate Fick, Walt Hasser/Ray Person)

Good Omens (TV)

The Rain We Thought Would Last Forever and Ever (Remix): Fic (Art On AO3) (Aziraphale/Crowley)

Harry Potter

Black House Will Rock: Art (Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Lestrange)

Repertum: Fic/Art (Harry Potter/Severus Snape)

Harry Potter/CSI/Hocus Pocus

And now you're mine: Fic (Harry Potter/Greg Sanders)

Harry Potter/DC Comics (Batman)

Reflection: Fic/Art (Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Rubeus Hagrid, Original Characters)

It (2017/2019)

faraway look: Fic (Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon)

Jak And Daxter

alien lands (overflowing with dust): Fic/Art (Jak/Daxter, Jak/Sig, past Damas/Sig)

The Red Prison: Fic/Art (Errol/Torn, Jak/Ashelin)

Jane Austen/Temeraire (Naomi Novik)

To the Rigor of Service: Fic/Art (Elizabeth Bennet & Charlotte Lucas, pre-Anne Elliot/Frederick Wentworth)

Jujutsu Kaisen

Phantom Origins: Fic | Art (Itadori Yuuji/Yoshino Junpei, Yoshino Junpei & Yoshino Nagi, Fushiguro Megumi & Kugisaki Nobara, Fushiguro Megumi & Kugisaki Nobara & Yoshino Junpei, Iguchi Takeshi & Itadori Yuuji & Sasaki Setsuko)

Knives Out

No Charm Equal: Fic (Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera)

Kuroko no Basuke

Three Little Words: Fic (Kasamatsu Yukio/Kise Ryouta)

Last Binding Series (Freya Marske)

The New Blyth Traditions: Fic (Robin Blyth & Maud Blyth, Robin Blyth/Edwin Courcey, Maud Blyth/Violet Debenham)

League of Legends: Arcane

bring me java, bring me joy: Fic | Art (Caitlyn Kiramman/Vi)

Lord of the Rings (Book)

both the sweet and the bitter: Fic On Dreamwidth | Fic On Tumblr (Arwen Undómiel, Elrond Peredhel, Bilbo Baggins, Original Characters)

[cargopantsprentiss]

The BAU according to my wife who doesn’t watch the show:

- The most beautiful baby boy in the BAU

- that guy with the hair

- The lady who hates Criminal Minds

- I didn’t know that old man existed

- Tony the Pasta Man

- Mommy Prentiss

- that guy from CSI

- Fake Abby

- Fake Abby’s Chocolate Thunder

- Jessica

- Charlie from Friends

- The man with 50 kids

- Jennifer Love Hewitt (she’s not wrong)

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Who are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite characters of all time, from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series, etc)? Can I ask why you love them?

Once again, this ask is very broad and my memory is so-so but I will do my best. Gonna try to limit my list and list 3 to 5 characters I love from each category.

One disclaimer, there are going to be more men then woman in this list. Simply because between trauma due to bullying and the probable neurodivergence and the laten gender issues I have a super difficult time connecting with woman characters, mostly because I can't let go of what I am supposed to be feeling and process what I actually feel for any given character.

Books:

There is this book called Devil's Footsteps by E.E. Richardson I used to love and still do. And I really love the three protagonist in that book. Especially the main character. A lot of his character is about letting go of his guilty and processing his grief over his brother.

Wylan from Six of Crows. Something about him feeling broken and having all that trauma, and still being kind, still moving forward despite the fact that you are out of your depth.

Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice

Stanley from Holes

All my books are put away right now so I can't look them and at this moment I don't rember anything else.

TV Shows:

Spike from Buffy and also Faith from Buffy. I like morally grey characters. I have always found Faith more interesting then buffy (don't hate me) and Spike way more interesting then Angel.

2 Characters from an Italian Tv show called Ris Roma (spin off of another show). A sort of Italian CSI show.

Veronica mars. And Logan Echols from the same show.

The Main Character of a show called Fairly Legal (that show was not good, but I loved it and I am sad it got cancelled). She was a bit of a mix between a layer and investigator and I loved her energy a lot.

Pretty much all the main characters from Leverage, but especially Hardison and Parker.

Jessica Fletcher from Murder She Wrote

Ian from Shameless

Animated:

Daria, because I releated a lot too her, and I admired how strong she was.

a Couple of anime shojo protagonist that I am going to cheat and lump together because I think they are pretty similar. Like Sana from Kodomo No Omocha and Hime-Chan from an anime called Hime-Chan no ribbon. I grew up with those two anime.

Can I say Bugs Bunny, is that cheating?

Zuko from Avatar

Bob and Linda from Bob Burgers - they are very good parents, and they love each other, they are like if the Addams Family wasn't creepy. Does that make sense?

BL:

Takara from Takara-kun to Amagi-kun

Todd and Black from Not Me

King (and Uea) from Bed Friend

Tankhun from Kinnporsche

Heart from Moonlight Chicken

Togawa from Old Fashion Cupcake

Both the main boys from Utsukushii Kare

Ai Di from Kiseki: dear to me

Cheating and saying Tutor from Why R U and Pete from LBC together. Because I am obsessed with Saint range. Watching those back to back is a trip and a half.

Currently some of the boys from DFF (namely Non, Phi and White and maybe Jin) could be on the favorite characters list, but I definately need to see the end before I can say for sure.

First, Zoey and Nonth from Playboyy. Porsche might be getting on the list too. Soong is definately on there.

Thanks for the ask I hope you enjoyed my answears. If you want me to elaborate on any of these characters feel free to send another ask.

[catierambles]

Control Ch.5

Pairing: Au!Walter Marshall x Jessica Talbot (OFC)

WC 2683 (actually checked it ahead of time, go me)

Warnings: Smut (PIV, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected (but not unsafe) sex, vampirey canonical biting, “historically accurate booty” and other sexy-time silliness)

It was late afternoon by the time Jackson got back and Walter was at his desk doing paperwork.

“Hey.” Jackson said as he sat down at his desk next to his and Walter looked up at him briefly.

“Hey.” He echoed, “What the victims say?

“They broke down when I told them that Lewis had been released, but weren’t exactly broken up when I said he was dead.” Jackson said, “I have some alibis to run down on male friends and family. What the Captain say?”

“He was pissed, but understood and said I was making the right call.”

“You going over to Jessica’s tonight?” He asked and Walter nodded.

“Yeah, I’m gonna check on her.”

“You should--”

“Don’t say “bring her flowers”,” Walter said, looking up and pointing at him. “It was hard enough finding a shop that was open that late to begin with.” Jackson just laughed, holding his hands up in defeat before getting on the phone.

Weeks then months passed since that day and the case went cold. Walter knew it would, honestly, not only because CSI didn’t find anything in the alley that would point to him, but because he knew that none of their persons of interest would pan out. It would just go down as yet another murder that would never be solved. Which was fine by him, saved an awkward conversation.

He walked up the stairs to Jessica’s apartment late one night, a pizza box balanced in his hand. He couldn’t eat it, but he knew Jessica would appreciate it. Knocking on her door, there was a pause before it opened and she gave him an infectious smile before stepping aside to let him in.

“You just get home?” He asked, kicking the door closed behind him, noticing that she was still in her work clothes.

“Little while ago.” She confirmed, “Was about to order food, but here you are with the save.”

“Milady.” He said bowing and holding the box out and she snorted, taking it from him and walking into the kitchen with it. He sat down on the couch as she plated up a couple of slices, coming into the living room and setting it down on the coffee table.

“Let me get changed out of my work clothes and I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.” Walter said, leaning back against the couch. She disappeared into her bedroom but came back a few minutes later in her pajamas, shorts and a tank top as the weather was starting to turn nice again. “So,” He asked as she sat down, “What’re we watching tonight?” They had started a routine of him coming over after work and them watching movies or binging TV shows on one of the many streaming services she was subscribed to.

“Well, I had an idea.” She said, taking a bite of her pizza.

“Yeah?” He asked and she nodded, picking up the remote and turning the TV on, navigating to Netflix. “Absolutely not.” He said as he saw the title screen for a highly romanticized telling of the reign of Henry the Eighth.

“Oh, come on! Please?” She asked and he gave her a look.

“Jessica, no.” He said, “It’s all bullshit. Haven’t I told you enough about that time to satisfy your curiosity?”

“You’ve been very informative, yes. Better than any teacher I’ve had.” She admitted, “But, please?” She leaned against him, looking up at him with innocent eyes and batting her eyelashes at him. He stared down at her against his shoulder for a long moment before sighing.

“Fine.” He said and she gave a triumphant sound.

“Thank you!” She said, pulling away from him and starting the first episode. He couldn’t help himself, interjecting with how the story was wrong and what really happened until she finally reached over, putting her hand over his mouth without looking at him. “No backseat driving, let me enjoy this.”

“You enjoy my annoyance, is what it is.” He said as her hand pulled away. They sat there watching it, Walter managing to keep quiet, but noticed as she leaned forward at a sex scene involving the actor playing the part of him and his supposed mistress. “That never happened.”

“What did I say about backseat driving?” She said not looking at him and he caught the smile she had as she rested her chin in her hand. “Now there’s a historically accurate booty.”

“You’ve never seen my “historical booty”.” He said and immediately felt foolish at the phrase.

“Those tight jeans you wear don’t leave a lot to the imagination, just saying.” She said and he looked down at his legs. They weren’t that tight.

“Okay, that’s enough.” He said after a while, grabbing the remote.

“Hey!” Jessica exclaimed, “No! Come on, Walter!” She made a grab for the remote but he held it out of her reach.

“No, I’ve suffered this farce long enough.”

“Your British is coming out,” She pointed out and made another grab for the remote but again he jerked it away. At some point in the struggle, he ended up laying back against the couch with her laying over him against his chest, still reaching for the remote that he kept out of her grasp. She stopped though as he wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand against her low back, and they looked at each other for a long moment.

“Hello.” He said softly, meeting her eyes with his own.

“Hi.” She said and he raised himself only so far as he needed to put them more on an even keel, moving in and pressing his lips to hers gently. There was a moment when she didn’t do anything, but then she pressed back against him, her eyes closing. Dropping the remote to the floor, his hand came up to hold the side of her face, his own eyes closing at the feel of her lips moving against his. Sitting up, he pressed until she was the one laying back against the couch, the backs of his fingers moving down the soft skin of her arm. Pulling away from the kiss, he ducked under her chin, mouthing softly against her neck and her hand came up to weave her fingers into his curls. “Charles…” She sighed and he picked his head up to look at her as a wave of nostalgia hit him in the chest hard.

Dipping down he kissed her again, harder this time, parting her lips with his own and sliding his tongue past her lips to twine with hers. Her hands pushed down his back, pulling up on his sweater and he broke away only so much to pull it over his head along with his shirt before kissing her again, wrapping his hand around her waist bared by the tank top riding up some. 

“How long has it been?” She asked as he pulled away.

“A while.” He admitted, moving his hand up to hold her ribs gently.

“Still remember where everything goes?”

“I think I’ll manage.”

“Not here.” She said and he nodded, moving off her and standing from the couch. Holding a hand down to her, she took it, letting him help her off the couch before he picked her up in his arms, her legs coming up to wrap around his waist. Walter walked heavily into her bedroom, almost throwing her onto the bed and watching as she giggled slightly when she bounced on the covers. He stopped only so long to take his boots and socks off before crawling onto the bed slowly, keeping eye contact with her as he settled over her. Her hands pressing and moving across his chest made his jaw clench and he joined them again in a kiss, pressing her into the mattress. “I’m clean, but do we need to use protection?”

“No.” He said, shaking his head as he ducked under her chin again, “I can’t be a father anymore.” He whispered against her neck, latching his lips on her skin and sucking gently, marking her.

“Speaking of your fascination with my neck,” She said, “Do we need to worry about the other thing?”

“Like I said, only if you ask me to.” He said, pushing his hands up her body under her tank top and finding that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“I’m talking too much.” She said and he looked at her with a nod and an amused smile.

“You are.” He agreed.

“It’s been a bit for me, too.” She admitted sheepishly. “Fuck it.” She said and pushed him over onto his back, sitting up on his hips and pulling her tank over her head, throwing it aside. Leaning over him, she kissed him, shivering under his palms as he ran them over her bare back, moving down to slide them under the waistband of her shorts.

“These need to come off.” He muttered against her lips and quickly took control again, flipping them so he was over her, catching her squeak of surprise against his lips. He ran his hands over her skin as he began his slow descent down her body, tasting and teasing her with his lips. Hooking his fingers in the waistband of her shorts, he pulled them down her legs along with her small clothes and off, kneeling there for a bit as he looked at her nude underneath him. Spreading her legs slowly, he settled between them, kissing the inside of her thigh. She suddenly snorted and he looked up at her, seeing her hand over her mouth as she tried not to laugh. “What?”

“Your beard tickles!” She said and he chuckled, rubbing his cheek back and forth against her inner thigh, his smile widening at her peals of giggles and laughter. All laughter died though as he ran his tongue in a slow lick up her center and he had to wrap his hands around her hips as they threatened to come off the bed. He fed between her legs slowly, eyes turned up to watch her reactions. Pushing his mouth tighter against her, his tongue dipped into her entrance, her hands fisting in the blankets as he laid her legs over his shoulders. Her femoral artery pounded in his ear and there was a tugging in his mouth, the urge to turn his head and sink his fangs into her skin mounting. He knew she would taste just as he remembered, perhaps sweeter as her blood wouldn’t be spiked with adrenaline and fear like the last time.

He pushed her right to the edge of release before pulling back, kneeling and undoing his belt, pushing his pants and boxer briefs down his thighs and kicking them off as he laid over her again. One of her feet came up to run up and down the back of his thigh as she reached up to hold his face in her hands. Taking a knee, he reached between them, taking himself in his hand and aligning them. Her eyes closed as he pushed forward, his breath catching in his throat as she spread around him, engulfing him in warmth. The tugging in his mouth grew and when he ran his tongue over his fangs, he felt that they had lengthened considerably.

His lips sealed to hers as he began to move, keeping the kiss shallow as he didn’t want her to cut herself on him.

“Charles…” She whimpered as her hands went to his hips, holding them as they moved between hers slowly. Yes, he decided, he wanted to hear his god-given name when they were together like this, wanting to be himself and not the man he’s been living as over the years. Looking down at her, he saw the heavy pulse in her neck jumping under her skin and his control frayed just a little bit more. No, only if she asked him to. Regardless, he buried his face in her neck, panting against her skin as pleasure shivered up his spine. Her hand went to the back of his head, fingers weaving into the dark curls. “Please…”

He picked his head up to look at her, hoping she was asking what he thought she was. Her eyes met his and she gave a nod, guiding him back to the curve of her throat. His lips parted and she shivered as the tips of his fangs brushed over the skin of her neck. With one hard surge of his hips, he joined them completely as he broke the skin, her blood flowing into his mouth immediately and making his eyes roll to the back of his head. He could taste the endorphins in her blood, taste how he was making her feel and his hips started moving faster, harder, as he drank her in. He didn’t take a lot, maybe a mouthful, but it was enough to refresh his memory of her and make a new one, a better one. He pulled back, looking down at the marks he made almost with pride as the skin of his mouth absorbed any traces of her into his system. His heart pounded in his chest at the small amount of her running through his veins and he pushed away the thought to take more, to take it all. No, what she had gifted him with was enough.

Looking into her eyes, he knew she was close, could feel it in the way she fluttered around him. Her hands went back to his hips, fingers curling and nails digging into his skin. He was relentless with the way he moved, not stopping even when she tipped over the edge, wrapping around him and keeping him close as she shuddered in his arms, her breaths coming in ragged gasps as she pulsed around him. A few more heavy thrusts and he joined her, growling as he spilled inside her.

They lay there for a while, breathing heavily as her fingers massaged through his hair, his forehead resting against hers.

“Okay,” She said, “Worth it.” He gave a weak chuckle, kissing her deeply before moving off her and off the bed, hearing as she rolled over onto her side as he made his way into the adjoining bathroom to clean up. “And I was right.” He looked over his shoulder at her, seeing her watching him with a small smile. “Historically accurate booty.”

“That’s not becoming a thing.” He said as he wet a washcloth, ringing it out in the sink.

“It’s definitely becoming a thing.” She said with a giggle, still smiling up at him as he came back to the bed.

“Head to the side, let me see.” He said and she tilted her head to the side, showing him the marks he left on her. Using the washcloth, he wiped away the small amount of blood that had leaked from the wounds, catching her small wince and muttering an apology. Bringing a thumb to his mouth, he pressed it to a fang, cutting open the pad and clicked his tongue against his teeth before reaching out and massaging his blood into the marks before the wound healed, her skin sealing over and the marks fading. With one last swipe of the cloth, he cleaned up what was left and tossed it into the sink.

She reached up, laying her hand against his side as he knelt on the bed, moving over her while pressing a kiss to her lips before settling in behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her back against his chest. He wasn’t tired as he didn’t sleep, as such, but she relaxed against the bed, her head pillowed on his arm. She moved slightly when he did, sitting up awkwardly as he reached down to the end of the bed and grabbed the blanket she had folded up there, pulling it up over the both of them more for her benefit than his. They settled again and she gave a tired giggle as he brushed aside her hair and nuzzled his mouth into her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her skin.

[theimperiumchronicles]

@fictionalbullshitter Okay and now we'll move onto @bendingthelaws parts of this. Have your snack and drink? I'm not sure if this one will be as long. *peeks over at my blorbos and wip* Yeah, probably still a good idea.

The main influences of Bending the Law would be a mix of several TV Shows. Law & Order, Chicago PD, Chicago Fire, City Confidential, The FBI Files, CSI, Forensic Files, Cold Case, and other shows along the same line. You may recognize a character from one here and another there because there are influences pulled from many places, but there are no direct dupes in my blorbos. They are an amalgamation of my love of true crime and law shows, as well as fictional ones. Not to mention my love of Nora Robert's nom de plume J. D. Robb's "In Death" series of books. There is also some of the show Bones here and Kathy Reich's books that the show are based off of.

If I were to try to list out the number of podcasts I listen to that I've drawn from to place here, I would be typing till my fingers were little bloody sumps with nails loosely attached to bones. You should see the looks on coworkers when they open the door to my office to hear some podcaster giving autopsy information in details that are a bit more in depth that most could stomach. Even worse when I'm eating.

I also will binge seasons of Dr. G Medical Examiner, which is about what it sounds like. I was married to a Funeral Director for a Decade...4 of those years in Louisiana where there is no refrigeration at most Funeral Homes...you can't gross me out. So...I draw on experience for much of Serena's experience...although I do try to spare the reader. Not everyone can eat noodles while listening, let alone watching, something about disemboweling and stomach contents.

Serena is based off of Dr. G, Dr. Jan Garavaglia. She was a Medical Examiner in Florida from 2004 until her retirement in 2015. Kathy Reichs is also an inspiration for Serena, but not as much as Dr. G. Both women are actually women I greatly admire.

Some of the characters in this story draw more upon those I have known in my real life than my other two main WIP's. Part of that has to do with the people I know and their lines of work. Part of that has to do with my interests and my post-secondary education. I am, at my heart, one huge ass nerd.

Okay...POTTY BREAK again...this one wasn't as bad

@bombsbodyguardsbroken will come when I can take a break after this meeting I have to have.

TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing @blind-the-winds @shipping-through-eternity  @outpost51 @inkspellangel @blind-the-winds @sunset-a-story @writingmaidenwarrior @clairelsonao3 @toribookworm22 @there-goes-thefighter

Please let me know if you would like +/- From the list

[eyes-above--the-waves]

Bernard: How'd you guys get here so fast?

Nick: We're off duty. We came for the ribs.

Henry: And the Hepatitis.

Guys, what even is this episode? Lol.

[buckybarnesss]

the writers thought they were slick. 

don’t get me wrong i enjoyed each of these characters. aiden and jessica deserved way better treatment than the brutal deaths that they were subjected to and jaime didn’t deserve the hate she got when she was introduced. 

aiden deserved to be mentioned after her death in heroes but i really think she should’ve been brought up in jo’s storyline in s8 with john curtis. the fact that mac had to dismiss her due to her compromising the integrity of the lab by her aborted attempt to plant evidence would’ve been highly relevant to jo’s story and but more importantly aiden was their friend and they clearly cared for her. her and danny were close, she was good friends with stella -- but they never mentioned her again and that’s just disappointing. 

if pressed though i’d say that jessica actually had a bigger impact on the plot than either aiden or jaime. she was there longer despite being recurring and had not only a decently developed romance with flack, but her death was the driving plot for her departure episode and impacted the story for several more episodes and deeply affected flack’s character for the rest of the show. 

jamie just didn’t have enough time on the show. but what we did see of her was decent. natalie martinez did what she could and i thought brought a little playfulness to the role. i really enjoyed the moment where she pranked flack by covering his desk in mets memorabilia. jaime is clearly good at what she does but is inexperienced which was refreshing for a character to not know everything because by season 9 there was a lot of that. her and flack were fun to watch even if i sighed all over the place when the writer’s put them together because of the copy paste of the jessica/flack romance (they even had an entire flirtation in a car which was too similar to the scene in commuted sentences).

each of these characters is different enough not to be exactly the same but there are enough similarities to make it obvious that there is a through line from aiden to jessica to jaime. 

[ariaisabitch]

My reactions to Love Is Blind S2 E3 but it's part 2

ok I forget what happened honestly uhhh

oh she's anxious NOW? girl..

Bro didn't you JUST talk to Sal about Mallory and now you're shocked to find out she was talking to him? Jarette.. Honey..

Ok well he's meeting Iyanna. If he proposes to her like Mallory didn't just happen ima be upset.. Awww she's so cute.

Oh ok he's gonna tell her. Nice. I love that he's being completely honest with her. Ok she seems pissed. Fair enough. I wanna see how she takes this. Cause I'd definitely feel like second place. LMAO WHY DOES HE HAVE A LIGHT SABER?? HUH?? ITS JUST SAD MUSIC AND THEN IT CUTS TO HIM POKING THE GROUND WITH A LIGHT SABER!? Oh shit she's walking out. She's sobbing in the hallway. Aw baby.. I love her so much.. She's a sweetheart. NOO SHES CRYING ON THE FLOOR NOOOO PLS MY HEART

Who tf is this guy? OH ITS SAL LMAO I LEGIT SAW SALVADOR AND WAS LIKE WHO TF?? Ok he seems really genuine, but Idk I get bad vibes. I KNOW SHE DID NOT JUST SAY SHE FEELS REALLY GOOD AFTER JARRETTE! Bruhhhh what. Ok ok we proposing. Gettin a cute little ring moment. Cute. If she says no I'm gonna shit myself laughing. Oh ok she said yea. At least they're happy. That's nice ig. LMAO I SEEM SO UNIMPRESSED. I wonder if they watch the show back to see each others reactions when they were in the pods. AWW HE ASKED FOR CONSENT TO KISS HERER! Ok nah he's cute. Change my mind.

Ew ok we're back to J2. She's going through? Idk I for some reason thought she was just gonna dip. LMAO SHES DRINKING BEFORE MEETING HIM! He seems so happy this is literally jessica and mark pt.2 omg. I feel like she's still just gonna dip at the resort or something. OH GOD NO THE KISS WAS SO AWKWARD OH GOD! HE JISY IMMEDIATELY WENT TO KISS HER AND IT LANDED ON HER NOSE AND THEN SHE HAD TO READJUST AND SHE OMG RHAT WAS HORRID I CANT. Ok wait he took off his jacket he's fuckin jacked. Damn dude. Get it. But I'm scared that we're only getting Mark's statements and not hers. Hmmm.

Ok back to Jarrette, guessing he's gonna propose to Iyanna now. I respect that he's being honest and straight forward with her. It's nice to see in this show through whatever the fuck is going on with CSI.

SHE SAID YES! Awww! She's so fuckin cute.

Ok Hi Mallory I guess we're seeing them meet now. Girl you're fucking hot, shut up. Ooooh that was a long kiss. This is so cute. I love them. The way he looks at her. So cute. LMAO SHE DOESNT THINK HES CUTE! I mean I thought he was fairly attractive. I mean I don't like dudes so that could be why LMAO. Like him and Jarrette were the cutest imo

Ok Iyanna and Jarrette time. My favs. Let's see. Intense music. do so do do da da uh do do dah duh daaaaaa do. She's so awkward it's cute. Aww he's so in love. LMFAO SHE DID NOT "He has a big head, so I'm a little nervous for my cervix" THIS GIRL I LOVE HERRRR!!! DID THEY JUST PLAY PATTY CAKE AS THE DOORS CLOSED!?

RESORT TIME! Oh I almost forgot about Danielle and Nick. LOL sorry guysss 😅 bro Lauren and Cameron should be helping host this. I really hope they at least show up.

Oh jesus christ. So much fuckin kissing. I am so uncomfy.

Shayne is immediately their for the sex, jesus. She's being all playful and he wants affection? Seems like a switcharoo to me.

He...He makes his own.... toothpaste? I- he.... what?? "Brush until I feel good" Bro... "I make my own body wash too" Jesus lord all-mighty. "I'm for sure switching out his toothpaste" LMAO

Ok J2 and Ken are interacting a lot better than I thought. He's eating meat for the first time in 8 years for her? Ok they're having the differences talk. I think? Ok setting boundaries.. cute.. Ok maybe not she immediately wants to sleep in different rooms? She's leaving now? HUH? WHAT?? Girl... At least he's still being positive about it...? Last time people slept in different rooms it didn't- OG MY GOD SHES LEAVING? WHAT THE FUCK? JUST LIKE THAT? Girl. She is such a b- ok.. Nope. I won't go there.

Mallory and Kyle time. Wait his name is Kyle right? I forget. LOL. OH HIS NAME IS SAL LMFAO my baaaad... This is so awkward.

JARRETTE AND IYANNA YES! "I'm gonna have to wear heals during sex" GIRL "I'm gonna have back problems by the age of 30" This girl is everything. SHES SO CUTE HOLY FUCK THE POLAROID CAMERA. Omg I love them so much. Pool tiiime. Oh shit they got a camera underwater? Gettin a lil personal there.. Oh they're leaving now.. Mhmmm. I see you Iyanna.

Back to Deepti. I feel like every time the camera is on them it's gonna be making out. Yup... Bro "Did you wanna hump?" ok I'm skipping this. I can't.

He eats in bed and watches TV? Bro he is so... ok. "I like a late night snack once in awhile"

Back to Danielle and Nick. Cute. Oh they're.. on the bed.. Ya know these cameras are just everywhere..? Do they just have straight p@rn tapes of these people?

AWWWWWWW NOOOO ITS KYLEEE!! He's all by himself. This is so fucking sad. She literally left him and he's still set on her? Sheesh.

"He's so biiig" "he's so what?🤪" LMAO I LOVE THEM!

Oh no Danielle is sick? PFFFFFFT THIS MOTHER FUCKER WENT "We're physical... We went physical... twice... in three different places"

Back to Deepti and Shake.. Bro they make me so uncomfy.. Is it bad if I skip them every time it shows them? "It's a purely emotional connection" "I don't feel that animalistic connection" Bro... Back to -2700 jesus fuck he's a prick.

LMAO "I had a fun time with Shayne last night... we just... ya know... enjoyed each other's company."

Oop Mallory and Sal. "we just, um ya know" I love the girls reactions. HOW DID HER HAIR STAY SO NICE? BRO IT LOOKS SO SHINY STILL? GIRL HOW?

Jarrette messaging her. Cuuute. "A good musician never reveals his tricks" love that. HE JUST THREW HIS SHORTS BRO LMAO. Oh god the stab scar. Taken a shower together now. Jesus bro. He's testing her LMAOz

Shayne and Natalie going on a boat date. Cute. Ok he doesn't like her playful jokes? Huh?

Oh they're all meeting eachother now. I wonder if Kyle will show up alone LMAO is that mean? "Sallory's in the house" Cuuute "I have a girl crush on Mallory" ok he didn't show up. Oh shit wait. Nick. I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT. Ok she's just still sick. I've never been more relieved for someone to be sick.

Bro they're purposefully stirring up drama with this "meet the people you didn't choose" shit.

Yeah, they're all talking about Kyle and Shaina. "Cheers to Shaina... I mean" BRO WHAT!? Bruh Deepti is just talking about how she likes all the other guys. Girl..

"You have great teeth" Bruh

"That's not a scratch mark, bro"

"She bit it so hard"

"If I was to say somebody would make it, it would probably be Shayne and Natalie" a lot of them are saying that, so maybe I just have a really warped view cause of mister Coach Steve Impersonator over there.

"She feels like my aunt" Bruhhhhh Now he's telling literally every guy? Bro that's gonna circle back around. Are you that stupid?

"I know she's not interested in me, and I want to go home" And now Jarrette is basically flirting with Mallory. C'mon Jarrette I liked you dude..

EDIT:

Somewhere in here there was an episode change I didn't notice so uhhh. Sorry bout that LMAO

[wipbigbang]

FIC: Twist Of Fate

Story Title: Twist Of Fate Fandom: CSI: NY Link: AO3 Summary: What if Jessica had a very good reason for not escorting Connor Dunbrook's kid to trial? What might have been? Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical violence Characters: Don Flack Jr., Jessica Angell, Stella Bonasera, Mac Taylor, Danny Messer, Sheldon Hawkes, Adam Ross, Samantha Flack Pairings: Don Flack Jr./Jessica Angell, mentioned Mac Taylor/Stella Bonasera and Danny Messer/Lindsey Monroe When I Started: Sometime before September 18th, 2012 (that was when I posted the first five chapters to AO3) How I Lost My Shit: The episode that this is an AU of (s05e25 Pay Up) pissed me off so much I stopped watching the show for a while and left the fandom pretty much for good. How I Finished My Shit: I literally wrote the last three chapters on my posting date. I knew where I wanted it to go, I've known since the start of WIPBB but I needed motivation, and having six hours left of a deadline was great motivation.

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 6

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 //  Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 1,795

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

You arrived at the previous night’s crime scene a few minutes before Special Victims, slipping on gloves and treating carefully as CSI went over everything they’d found, or didn’t find more accurately, with you. You were knelt down next to where they’d recovered the body, a grim look plastered on your face as you took in every detail of the victim, she almost didn’t look real. 

“Detective Y/L/N,” you heard, standing up and turning you attention towards the woman ducking under the crime scene tape and making her way towards you.

“Captain Benson, welcome back to Chicago,” you greeted, meeting her in the middle and shaking her hand, “sorry it isn’t under better circumstances.”

“Oh, believe me, it never is,” she informed you, eyes drifting from you to the body of Jessica Connors with a mixture of sorrow and determination that made you admire her even more than you already did. You still didn’t know how they did these kinds of cases everyday.

Sonny and Kat came through after their Captain. “Hey Y/N, I hear we’re borrowing you from Intelligence for this case,” Kat said.

“You don’t mind that I asked Voight for you to join us do you?” Benson asked, your eyes unconsciously sliding to Sonny as she did. He hadn’t said anything yet, but a small smile was forming on his lips as he looked at you.

“Of course not, anything I can do to help,” you replied.

“Glad to have you then,” Sonny voiced with a grin, ignoring the pointed look Kat gave the both of you.

“You up to speed on the new victims?” You asked, noticing the way Benson was looking at Jessica’s body, CSI just finishing up at the scene.

“Yeah we are,” she told you, her tone and the familiarity in her eyes suggesting that she actually had worked the first case in New York. She noticed you staring and shook the thoughts from her head.

“We’ll catch him this time,” you said, meeting her gaze.

“Will will,” she nodded, looking around at the scene with a Captain’s eye, “Kat and I will talk to CSI, match up any details, see if we can pick up any leads, you and Carisi talk to any witnesses, the officers first on scene, and the man who found the body,” she ordered, turning to go talk to CSI with Kat when she had your confirmation.

“Hey,” Carisi said with a smile when you were both alone.

“Hey yourself,” you replied, “how was the flight?”

“Not too bad, reading up on this case certainly passed the time,” he said, hesitating before adding in a quieter voice: “I was also... looking forward to seeing you again.”

You felt your cheeks go a little red, remembering yourself as you cleared your throat. “We should, um, get on with our orders,” you managed, flustered by the look in his eyes. 

He smirked but agreed, gesturing for you to lead the way to where a man of about 35-40 was stood with two uniforms. He was a bit on the shorter side, dark hair and bright white running gear on, not the most practical for a run in the woods, as made apparently by the mud stains. The long scar across his face was distinctive, but you tried not to stare as you made your approach.

“Mr Tate?” Carisi asked, checking his notes briefly to make sure as the man nodded, the unis leaving you to talk to the him. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“You mind if we ask you a couple of questions?” You asked, pulling out your notebook and a pen.

“Of course detectives, anything to help,” he told you both, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve already told the officers that arrived on scene everything I saw.

“We know, but we just want to make sure all our bases are covered,” Carisi clarified.

“Ask away,” Tate spread out his arms, ready for you to begin. Carisi looked to you, signaling you to begin.

“Do you always run this route?” You asked, looking around at the well worn and clearly marked path; the killer wanted the body to be found. 

“Yeah, it’s quite a popular trail,” he confirmed, rubbing at a bit of mud on the sleeve of his jumper.

“You see anyone else?” Carisi asked. It was a pretty wide path, and it didn’t diverge much, the killer would have had to use this trail to move Jessica’s body.

“Just another jogger,” he told you with a shrug, something that probably wasn’t very uncommon, even later in the evening.

“But they didn’t see the body?” You probed further, finding it strange. Jessica wasn’t exactly hidden, she’d practically been on full display of the path, anyone would have seen her from where you were.

“I don’t know... I guess not, they were running past me, so I’d be surprised if they didn’t but...” He answered, you and Carisi sharing an identical look as you put a circle around this other jogger in your notes.

“Remember what he was wearing?” Carisi asked for some clarification as Tate scratched his head, thinking.

“Er, black tracksuit, baseball cap, oh and glasses too, like sun glasses, I thought that was strange given how dark it was,” he recalled, your suspicion growing further with each detail.

“White... black...?” Carisi continued, making sure you didn’t miss any detail about your new suspect.

“White, definitely, had a rucksack on too,” Tate said, face scrunched up in thought.

“You were seen him running here before?” You mused, knowing killers sometimes prefered places that were familiar.

“I don’t think so,” he answered somewhat apologetically, “expensive shoes like those... I’d have noticed. Does that help?”

You and Carisi nodded to each other before you took a card out of your pocket, “it does, thank you, get in touch if you think of anything else.” 

He took the card, looking over it before slipping it into his pocket, “will do.” He turned to leave, glancing back at the crime scene one last time, Carisi gesturing for the unis to make sure he got back okay.

“Security cameras?” Carisi suggested, reading your mind as your eyes scanned the surrounding area carefully. There wasn’t any this far into the trail, you weren’t that lucky.

“We should check the entrace and exit, if there are only the two ways onto this route then they had to have gone back to one of the car parks, we’ll check the cameras there,” you told him, pocketing your notes and heading back to Benson and Kat.

“You got something?” She asked as you approached.

“Maybe, we’re going to go see what we can find on the nearest security cameras,” Carisi told her, filling her in on everything the witness had just revealed. 

“The park ranger can help, he’s with a couple of officers,” she said, a distant and guardedly hopeful look in her eyes. This was as close as anyone had gotten.

You both went off with the park ranger, being led back up the trail to the car park and the rangers station. It was a quiet morning, not surprising given the amount of cop cars and crime scene tape. You’d certainly find a different route if you saw it.

He led you into the station, his partner already having the tape set up to play. “This your guy?” He asked, hitting play as you and Carisi leaned forward, watching intently.

It was dark, but the time stamp matched up as a dark figure emerged from the direction you’d just walked, his jogging slowing to a walk as he approached an equally dark car. The description matched the one Tate had just given you.

“Can you zoom in on that?” You asked, pointing to the number plate on the car. The ranger nodded, pausing the footage and focusing in on the plate. “Got it,” you nodded, Carisi already calling in for a BOLO on the car, a bentley, a long with as good of a description of the driver as he could in the dim light.

“Thanks guys,” Carisi told them as you exited the station, stepping back into the car park as you made your way towards the stop where the bentley had been parked. 

Carisi was about to say something to you when your phone rang, digging it out to see Hailey calling. “Hey, how’s it going with Jessica’s family? We think we’ve caught a lead here,” you relayed to her.

“Yeah we heard the BOLO over the radio, got something that might help you with that too,” she told you, a questioning look from Carisi as you put it on speaker for him to hear.

“Oh yeah? What did the family know?” You asked, your aching for them and what they were going through.

“The parents didn’t know much, but when the little sister let us out she mentioned that Jess had been planning to go on a date the last time she’d seen her, about a week a go now,” Hailey explained, the cogs in your mind whirling.

“About the same time we found Lily Hamilton’s body?” You checked, thinking that maybe the killer had swapped one woman out for another.

“You got it,” Hailey confirmed grimly, “and get this, the sister said that Jess had been super excited, saying she’d found her prince charming.” She emphasised the last words, the images of the fanciful ball gowns all the women had been dressed in fresh in your mind. 

You heard Jay calling Hailey from somewhere further away, “okay, thanks, we’ll meet you back at the district,” you said, saying your goodbyes and hanging up.

“Prince charming?” Carisi echoed, clearing piecing it together the same as you.

“Sounds like it fits, let’s check if any of the other girls had dates,” you suggested, taking out your car keys.

“I think I read something about that in a couple of the old New York files,” he agreed, following you to your car as he typed away on his phone, most likely telling Benson the plan.

“Looks like we’ve got some work to do,” you told him with a little bit of hope, “guess you’re going to be stuck we me for a bit.” 

Carisi grinned, “I can’t say that I mind.” You smiled as you reached your car, more than glad for the company.

Still, something didn’t sit right with you. Not that you didn’t like easy cases, but this... it was too neat, too quick. 9 women dead in New York without so much as a trace of evidence and this lead just falls in your lap?

You couldn’t quite put your finger on what you were missing, but if it helped stop other women from meeting the same fate, you were going to find out.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

I love the actor who plays Jeremiah Dalt 😁 He does an excellent job 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I always admire actors like him, Mark Paul-Gelessar (Gig Harbour Twins), Bill Irwin (Nate Haskell), Jessica Collins (Natalie Davis) and so on.

Actually, the B case has quite a Nate Haskell vibe, what with the victims' throats being stitched; it's like Haskell piercing those metallic things into his victims. And, to be honest, it makes hard hard for me to watch; I'm actually crying, because those kinds of things get to me. I watch lots of violent movies, I'm used to all sorts of things, even all the things we see on CSI, and I'm used to them. But this particular thing gets to me.

[toadallytickles]

Hey Jess! Pretty personal question, but I really valued your breakdown of your sexuality, and so I was hoping you might be open to sharing your experience with your gender identity? I’ve read descriptions and explanations, but it’s all very clinical and detached. Was hoping you’d be willing to share! If not, that’s okay, and thanks for reading!

Hey there, anon! I’m very okay with personal questions like this! Also it's perfect for Pride Month! 🌈 I’m really happy to hear you enjoyed my sexuality posts! That means a lot! I like being open and talking about these personal experiences and feelings because it may help someone else! :)

I’m a little worried that I may not answer this the way you want, or be able to break it down like my sexuality post as I actually have been questioning and unsure of myself for months now. I’m honestly not the most up-to-date or knowledgeable on a lot of genders and terms either! I’m currently learning and discovering my gender, and honestly it's at a point it's a little frustrating.

I’ll still share my gender experience though! :)

I definitely was a tomboy growing up; I liked catching frogs and snakes, getting dirty in the marshes or just in the backyard, I like playing boy characters, and preferred hanging out with the boys, preferred boy-marketed toys! But I was bullied a lot, throughout elementary school and a bit through high school. And that made me feel like an ugly girl, an undesirable girl. Along with that, I hated puberty- haha! I hated having a period, and having to shave my legs. And all this made me wish I was a boy, and want to be a boy! Like maybe I would be better liked by my peers as a boy, maybe I would be accepted. I can remember asking my mum if I could have a sex change four times in the past! She said no, of course. It wasn’t even because I felt like a boy deep down, I was just so sick of being a girl and having to do “female-assigned things.”

This is embarrassing for me to share, though when I was in grade 8 (I’m 13 years old) my sister wanted to see Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never documentary in theatres- I had the choice of seeing that, or Gnomeo and Juliet. I wasn’t interested in celebrities or had crushes then, but I was a little curious about Justin’s story. Welp, that documentary turned me into a huge Belieber. I practically fell in love with him, and felt like the most beautiful girl listening to his songs, and my room was decked out with posters! But I look back now on my love for him and laugh, because it definitely wasn’t just a romantic crush.. I did want to be him, or a cute boy like him. This part gets awakened when Justin Bieber guest starred on CSI: Las Vegas as a character named Jason McCann… and I have no idea why, but I was obsessed with the character he played. This is when I started wearing plaids, dressing masculine, and wanted to cut my hair short. I was so in love with this fictional kid that on a birthday cake when I was turning 18, the name written on it was “Jessica McCann”, I made a Build-A-Bear based on Jason, and when my moms went to Vegas, they brought me back a CSI: Las Vegas t-shirt, and I never even watched the show! Only the episodes Justin Bieber was in, which was just two I think. Oh, also I was Justin Bieber for Halloween once! This really was a bad case of, “do I like him, or do I want to be him?” And don’t worry- I’m no longer a Belieber, my crushes are entirely gone, and I actually don’t pay mind to celebrities these days! Though I still sing along to younger Bieber songs~

The desire to cut my hair short was for years, though it was in high school when the desire was strong and I was always talking about it and researching it. I had horrible self-esteem and social anxiety back then too; I was constantly reading articles on what men thought about women with short hair, because I always put others’ opinions before mine and craved acceptance. And these readings were conflicting because some were empowering, and some were just.. straight up mean! I didn’t want to be even more ugly and undesirable than I already was! Come grade 11 (I’m 16), I met a girl with curly short hair that I admired so much. I loved her hair and how it worked for her. I was so enamoured by her hair, there was this day in Parenting, it was 11am on a Friday, I stared at her a little too long that a crush on her grew on me.. Like I literally felt the crush start seeping into me. And I liked her for 2 whole years; it followed me into college. And we went to different schools! Anyway, because of her, I got my shoulder-length hair cut into a Bieber-esque pixie cut four days before entering grade 12 (I’m 17)! And that was literally one of the best days of my life. Even though I was still super insecure about myself, I was so happy I got my hair cut. It was life changing, it gave me a confidence boost. I really started to feel like me. Like I was meant to have short hair.

Everyone was super surprised by it! And loved it! I got a lot of “It suits you!” but a few “So when are you gonna grow it back?” which was so frustrating! Even though my haircut made me so happy, I was still scared of how boys would view me. I had fears that no one would ever like me or find me pretty. I forced feminine appearances (clothes-wise) to still be attractive to boys even though I was uncomfortable. The summer of 2015 (I’m 18), Orange is the New Black’s Season 3 premieres, and they introduce a new character named Stella Carlin played by Ruby Rose.. and the internet went crazy for her. I did too. When I saw her in the trailer, something immediately awoke in me. I had no idea women could look like that and be loved and accepted and wanted! Looking her up I learned of the words “Androgynous” and “Genderfluid.” I read Ruby Rose’s story and related a lot of what she shared. Androgynous stuck with me. Finally a word to describe how I want to appear! I liked the term Genderfluid, but I dismissed it as I didn’t feel “boy enough” to be able to take the label. Some days I just wished I was a boy and wanted to look like one. I get my first chest binder in 2016 (I’m 19), and wearing it validated something in me. I really liked having a flat chest and appearing masculine, and sometimes being mistaken for a boy! I wore it from time to time, just whenever I felt boyish. Though oddly I haven’t worn it for about a year now. These days I am a lot more comfortable with how my body looks!

I much preferred to be called “Jess” by good friends. My family always called me “Jess,” I didn’t grow up with a nickname, I was just “Jess,” while all my other siblings got nicknames. I was just “Jess,” that when they called me “Jessica,” it was foreign sounding- I wouldn’t recognize it as me. Teachers could call me “Jessica,” but it was weird when friends called me that. I started introducing myself as “Jess” in 2019. I liked that it was unisex. Now I don’t register myself as “Jessica” when it's called.

Androgynous is more used to define gender expression (how a person publicly expresses or presents their gender by behaviour and appearance), though earlier this year I accepted it as my gender identity (how a person feels and experiences their gender) too as I have started to feel some genderfluidity, and its all over the spectrum. Androgynous just feels so comfortable on me. It fits perfectly. Back when I cut my hair, I did identify as a CIS girl, I just liked being masculine. Though over the lockdown, I did a lot of research and self-analyzing. I always knew there was more to me, but I’ll admit that I haven’t been allowing myself to question my gender. Unfortunately I had this phobia that I would come off as annoying or too much for wanting to try pronouns or identifying differently, which I know is so wrong. But I was holding back, and I still kind of do hold back. I know it’s so bad sorry!

I love being a woman and I love womanhood, but frequently I don’t feel like any gender, and sometimes I’m boyish/masculine-feeling, or I wish I were a boy. There’s the random day I fantasize about having a penis! I’ve been doing some research over the pandemic, though nothing is really clicking for me yet! I’m not really sure what labels I’m able to use. And it's tough too because I don’t personally like having a lot of labels for myself! So yeah.. the pandemic has been tough on me mentally too where I just don’t even feel like myself and I’m just floating here. Like I don’t know who I am anymore. It’s been really frustrating honestly.

I have a hard time reading and researching too! It can feel clinical and detached! I always feel like I’m not understanding all the way, or I’m going to choose the wrong labels. I think what you’re doing, asking questions and checking out people you know or understand a little will help you out! There are a ton of YouTubers who educate on gender and sexuality, and talk about their experiences with them! I only started using Androgynous as a gender identity and expression because of a YouTuber I stumbled upon said they used Androgynous for their gender identity and expression! There are also a lot of Tumblrs that educate gender too and accept asks! Or if there’s a label or term you’re curious about, you can reach out to a member who identifies that way and ask what their experience is or how they feel! If they’re open to that. You’re right, this can be a personal question!

At the end of the day, you can’t be wrong with your gender and pronouns. You’re allowed to experiment! If you like how a label, term, or pronoun sounds with you, you’re allowed to take it. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation on why you define yourself that way. Just like with your sexuality! This is about you! And making yourself comfortable! You don’t have to strictly stick to a definition! You can give it a twist and define it for yourself!

This is a lot! And I hope it’s helpful to you! And I hope I didn’t say anything wrong! I know it’s really messy! Please feel free to ask more questions, if you’d like! I love these kinds of questions! It’s okay to be discovering yourself! It can be frustrating and hard, your feelings are always valid, and we constantly grow and discover ourselves! Be patient and kind yourself! Treat yourself how you’d treat a friend! 🌈

[penwieldingdreamer]

The Backup Plan

So, after weeks of not having been able to write I decided to binge my all time favorite show again - CSI New York and while I watched Det. Don Flack, tall, dark, handsome and sarcastically funny I got an idea to write something outside of all the fandoms I've ever put my hands on. I have no idea how long this is going to be but I loved the idea that came to mind and I needed to write it down.

I hope you guys will like it, I’m also going to tag those that I’ve told about this story, so if you want to stick around and be tagged, let me know.

Summary: Carly works as an EMT, just broke up with her boyfriend and all she ever wanted was a baby. Now when her hot neighbor offers to help her out after a drunken confession, who is she to say no to that?

Warnings: swearing, cheating ex boyfriend, slight description of gunshot wounds.

Words: 1859

Chapter 2 >>

"Just pack your shit and go, Kevin." Carly said, finishing getting dressed for her shift at Bellevue.

She was glad Ricki would get her because with the way she felt right now there was no way Carly could easily move through New York's early morning traffic.

Kevin turned to her with a scowl. "Are you going to be a little bitch the whole damn time?"

"You dare to call me names when you were the one cheating on me with your assistant." The EMT rounded on him, pointing a shaking finger at the blonde haired sales manager. "I want you gone from my life."

Laughing he gathered his clothes, jamming them into his overnight bag. "And here I thought you wanted a fucking kid."

"Get the fuck out, I never want to see you again." Carly growled opening the front door of her apartment, looking back at her ex boyfriend. "I'd never want to do that to my kid, having you as their father. I'd rather get IVF before I'd take your dick again." With that she walked out and slammed the door behind her, the wood rattling from the force.

Turning around she nearly ran headlong into a hard body. The EMT looked up with a blush on her cheeks when she saw her neighbor standing in the middle of the hallway. "Sorry." she mumbled, one hand on her chest trying to calm her rapidly beating heart before straightening her appearance again after the fall out she had with Kevin.

He had just come home, pulling a triple to get the killer of two teenage girls behind bars, now he was hearing his neighbor's screaming at each other. They had always been loud, no matter the time of the day. If he got home after a long shift or had to leave early because a call came in he'd hear them fighting, but hell, this was New York, about ninety percent of the population was nuts so he didn't really care that much but having seen so many bad things happen he wanted to make sure it didn't escalate and he would be called to this building just to see his neighbor laying in a pool of blood. Just when he took a step towards their door it was pulled open and she ran out, not looking up at him

"You okay?" His deep voice rumbled and he stared down at the blonde woman right in front of him. Detective Don Flack of the NYPD had moved out of his apartment that he shared with Jessica Angell, everything reminded him of her and after hitting rock bottom he needed a change. Now nearly four months later he still thought about Jess but he was back on track, life and work having been better than ever.

Nodding her head, Carly brushed a blonde strand behind her ear. "Thanks, it's nothing, really. Have a good day."

The EMT hurried down the steps, looking back at him before she finally disappeared from view. Don shook his head and went inside his apartment, listening to the angry rants coming from his neighbor's apartment. Now all he wanted was a long hot shower and sleep, the work day finally being over for him.

Charlotte pulled her jacket tighter around her, stepping out of the building. Her partner Ricki was leaning against the side of his car, waiting for her with a coffee in his hand and a smile on his lips.

"Oh, you're a lifesaver." she moaned, taking the hot beverage from her partner.

The dark skinned EMT cocked his head at her, knowing something must have happened again for her to be in a foul mood. "What did he do now?"

"He's leaving and hopefully will be gone by the time I get home again." she huffed, watching as her friend walked around his car and got in, knowing there would be some questions.

Raising an eyebrow at her, Ricki started the car, glancing at the dark blonde EMT sitting beside him. "What did that idiot do now?"

"He cheated with Lorraine, his secretary," she huffed, leaning against the car window with her head in her hand, "but my question is 'why' he cheated. He got everything from me even though I didn't get home at 5pm and had dinner ready so all he had to do was sit his ass down, but still I did what Kevin wanted. And all I wanted from him was a baby."

Her partner reached over and placed his hand on her thigh, watching as Carly's grip tightened on the to-go cup he got for her.

"You know you don't really need a guy to be a mom. There's many ways to do it and besides, have you seen your neighbor?"

"Ricki!" Charlotte admonished, a slight smile on her lips. Of course she had seen him, often enough. Sometimes he came back from work just when she was leaving and sometimes it was the other way around. All she knew was his name was Don Flack, from the bills that were mistakenly shoved into her mailbox, and that he was a detective with the NYPD, overhearing a phone call when she had gotten home from shift one time. He was very good looking, having all that tall, dark and handsome thing going for him, although Carly had never really seen him smile before.

He grinned, watching his partner as she bit her lip. "You're thinking about him, aren't you? I bet he likes to do some kinky handcuff scenes in the bedroom the way he's packing."

"Oh my god, stop it, you." she squealed, brushing her free hand over her face, blushing at the thought of her neighbor in the bedroom. "You're engaged, I don't think Andrew will like you talking about other men like that."

Ricki laughed, turning to face her when they stopped at a traffic light, one of many yet to come on their way to the hospital. "Oh you'd be surprised what dear Andy says about the doctors he's working with. Those maroon uniforms in the ER do have their benefits, too."

"Carly? You got this?" Ricki called when they arrived at the scene. There had been a murder near Central Park and they already having been en route, the EMTs floored it to the location, getting the call that both the suspect and the officer had been injured in the chase.

Nodding her head, she grabbed the equipment bag and made her way to the officer. "EMT, let me through." Carly called pushing through the officers to get to their colleague, but when she reached him her blue eyes widened.

Her neighbor, Detective Blue Eyes, as Ricki had dubbed him, was sitting on a bench holding onto his left shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she lowered the bag and started working. "Detective Flack?"

"Yeah." he breathed out in a groan. "Got hit by the perp, think it's a graze but the shit feels like a through and through."

Nodding her head, Carly took the hand from his shoulder, assessing the wound there. She could already see the blood staining his shirt but thankfully he was right. "It is only a graze, but those often hurt more than the real deal. It will probably need stitches so I'm going to clean it up and send you on your way to the hospital."

"What? You ain't coming with me?" he asked, grimacing as she prodded the tender flesh around the wound.

Smiling softly, Carly reached for the bandages. "I'm sorry Detective, but you'll have to make due with Lou and Jordan over there." she said pointing at the two men talking to some of the officers on the scene, checking them over. "This might sting a bit now." Even with the warning, the EMT heard a deep groan coming from the dark haired man in front of her as she lightly pressed the disinfectant pad onto the wound.

"God damn, that shit hurts." Don grunted, watching the blonde as she worked meticulously on his shoulder. He felt a shiver run down his spine as her gloved finger tips moved over his bare skin. "It's been a long time since I had one of the nice ones taking care of my battle wounds."

Laughing softly Carly looked up, seeing the smirk grazing his lips. "I bet you'll be really popular with the ladies, showing off those scars and telling the stories of how you got them."

"Oh, nah." the detective waved it off with his free hand, seeing the smile light up her face. "That's just a bonus for when it gets late after a few drinks."

With a court nod, she finished dressing the wound and stood up, pulling off the blood stained gloves before giving him a pat on his uninjured shoulder. "At least now you got to tell another story to the lucky female population, Detective Flack. If you would make your way over to Lou, they'll be taking you to the hospital now." Damn it, another guy like that. Why's it always the players?

"Uh, thanks for that." Don said, scratching the back of his head, unsure of what to do now. "I never really got your name since I moved into the apartment across from you."

Holding out her hand, the EMT waited for him to take it. "I'm Charlotte, but people call me Carly, so stick with that."

"Well, thanks Carly and maybe we'll see each other around, I mean being neighbors and all."

"Sure," she mumbled, watching as he made his way to the second bus ready to get those stitches done when she felt a familiar presence next to her.

Ricki's dark eyes burned the side of her face before she finally turned to her friend. "What?"

"What?! She asks what?" he mocked her, crossing his arms over her chest. "That guy is your hot next door neighbor, you got to touch him, feel him up and the look right there resembles you biting into a lemon. What's going on?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Carly sighed. "I think I'm cursed, that guy just told me he was a player, I only ever seem to attract the assholes of New York City."

"Ah, no, stop right there, babes. Detective Blue Eyes is going to be totally serious, I can tell. Andrew met him a few times when cases brought him to Bellevue. If you ever wanted a baby daddy, he'd be the best choice, because damn, if he wasn't hetero I'd definitely tap that ass."

Giggling, the blonde leaned her head onto her partner's shoulder, the suspect having been taken to the precinct and the injured detective was on his way to the hospital. But still thoughts circled her brain, about having to raise a kid alone, how to even get as far as becoming a mother. Would she have to use a gravy pipette or should she get to the clinic? Maybe she'd try the old fashioned way. Maybe she should try to get to know her neighbor first before Ricki was going to be the one constantly telling her to hit the sheets with Detective Flack.

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